#i'll write about andrew's fear some other time

[youdontknowhowtodiequietly]

@tuehquestionmark hiya! i saw your comment and i'm addressing it in a reblog bc i hate writing long paragraphs in the comments (i'm on mobile so it's hell on earth)

Love the argument for Andrew as The Desolation. I can still argue for The Web and I'll get into that in this post, but The Desolation being his fear is actually such a good argument. I also agree Kevin can be The Web; I was actually going to say that in my initial post but I had just given The Web to Andrew and Neil so I thought it was a bit overkill. I think what we should bare in mind is these characters are sick as fuck (pos) and they have so many intricate little fears and I love them and Nora did such a good job RAHH-

Okay, enough with all that. Lemme explain my main point about why I think Neil is The Web, far more than I think The End is (I'm not shitting on your point, btw, I can totally see why his fear is The End as well)

I think The End was Mary's fear, through and through. It's why she ran in the first place. I know most people see The End as just the Death fear, but it can also 100% be the end of anything - a relationship, a project, a book. When it becomes a fear it is when you are terrified of what might happen After. Of what might happen to you, yourself, now that you have nothing you feel is worth living for. I think it can probably manifest itself a lot more in codependent relationships and the fear of them Ending.

Initially, Mary was not afraid of Neil dying, she was afraid of losing him and never seeing him again because she likely knew the conditions of the Ravens and the fact they have no contact with their family once they join. When they ran, however, it definitely also became about dying, but I think the core element of it was losing Neil for whatever reason.

So I think The End is Mary's fear, and I think her actions because of that fear contributes towards Neil's fear of The Web.

We see that Neil is a skittish little critter. He hadn't stayed in one place for probably for longer than 6 months, for about 11 years (I think he was 7 when they ran, and he was 18 when he joined the Foxes) until Palmetto. That shit 100% created attachment and commitment issues. He was terrified of getting close to people, because he saw that as a Venus Flytrap. He knew that if he got attached to someone, he wouldn't be able to run again.

The scary thing about The Web is, for the most part, you don't realise you've been caught until it's too late. A fly does not realise the predicament it has got itself into until it sees the spider coming.

Neil did not realise how close he'd got with everyone until it was too late and Nathan came for vengeance.

Nathan is just one side of Neil's fear of The Web. It's the one thing he's been Aware of for all those years. The Moriyamas' are the other side, and he did not see those coming until it was too late.

The Moriyamas', I think, are the true Spider in Neil's story. They have been watching for a very long time, but it wasn't until Neil got caught, struggling and screaming in their Web, that Ichirou came crawling down to see to its problem.

Neil gets out (some-fucking-how), but he knows that the Spider is only up the Web, waiting for his next slip-up.

Which I think is how Neil's fear can also be The Eye. Until Ichirou, his fear is being Known and Seen, and when Ichirou comes along, it's the fear of Always Being Watched. There's a bunch of fics out there of Neil getting injured on caught and think "But what about Ichirou?"

But I still think Neil's fear is The Web through and through.

neil josten's fear is The Web

andrew minyard's fear is also The Web

[sublimacje]

Things that made me happy (or sad) from The Chosen s4

Calling Simon Peter! – man, chills, literally chills.

And the Matthew and Jesus talk. I liked how Matthew was open with his emotions and then learned something from it.

Jesus' words: I make people what they aren't. Yes, Jesus, please make me what I'm not. Only You are able to.

This being said – Matthew apologizing to Peter and then Simon Peter forgiving Matthew. A m a z i n g. The hug? Te relief on Matthew's face? The Peter's growth? I can see him being a leader.

Jesus always noticing the rejected ones – the blind man. Sure, he had friends (they were talking with Jesus) but the way he was sitting on stairs to the Temple and nobody gave him a second glance, but Jesus did.

I've never been to a wedding banquet, but I'm on my way to one. and then You wouldn't get it. These are your last words?

Some comic relief scenes: poor Matthew not understanding some things (and I get it, believe me, I do) as Andrew telling him he should write request on paper to speak with Peter or lifting his hand when pharisee asked who's writing Jesus' words down. Or Nathaniel? This man is hilarious. Not wanting to be chaperon for Thomas and Remah but telling John he won't be reliabe one to do it himself. Or questioning other followers' skills with pomegranates. Idk, I was laughing so hard.

Gaius. Oh my. I don't even know where to start. I loved his story. I loved how big his faith was. I loved how he cared about Matthew from the very begining. And he wanted to go to Jerusalem for Passover! I wonder how he'll react to news about Jesus dying... I know we don't have some things in The Bible, but do you think Jesus is going to reveal Himself to Gaius after resurrection? I hope He will.

Also I liked how the side characters of the story (like Yussif and Jair) were willing to protect Jesus even when they knew that He was Almighty God. They were sweet. They really loved Jesus.

Jesus with Romans!!! Oh my- This was His teaching in a nutshell. And Romans faces when Jesus told them they go further with them and how they started to take their things back form the disciples.

Matthew being ever the gentleman and taking heavy bacpack, so Mary won't have to carry it. I loved it. Also, can we talk about their meeting after years? And Matthew brave: still unusually pleasant to look at. That was very cute.

Showing Jesus as a human (His words to Mother Mary: also a human) and His frustration, anxiety and fear. I think it's very important to remember that He was a God as He was a human. And this is such a mystery to me? That God decided that He wanted to be one of us. Oh how much He has to love us!!!

PAUL MENTIONED.

Judas, ah, Judas... I think he really loved Jesus, but he didn't truly understand His teaching... I'm really sorry for Judas...

Grieving Thomas. As I already wrote once: I liked that writers decided to show us that following Jesus doesn't mean we always get what we're asking for. And this is sad and hard, but this is how it is. I don't always understand God's timing, too. But I think that following Jesus never ment to be easy peasy lemon squeezy. As in this meme, you know: it's difficult difficult lemon difficult.

I laughed when Yussif said that pharisee were furious because of Lazarus coming from the death and Lazarus' respond: Oh, I'm sorry. I'll try not to die next time.

Matthew confused: Do you REALLY want us to steal a burro for you?

Quintus. Do you think he's gonna be centurion with a spear? I mean, on the The Chosen s4 poster we see spears behind Quintus...

[decaflondonfog]

writerly ephemera

a few years back my darling friend @the-starryknight started a tag game inspired by a chat we had in a writing server regarding all the little personal details we add to our art. humans hold so many things close to their hearts without even realising, memories, artefacts, places, turns of phrase... lots of precious little bits and bobs i adore! recently i had a chat with the lovely @billdenbrough about the familiar fear of putting a little too much of yourself into a character — when do you cross the self-insert line? but also, aren’t these the things that make our characters human? which got me thinking about starry's tag game. so i've decided to bring it back! here's how we're doing it:

✨ share some bits little bits of you, easter eggs, memories, etc. you have left scattered in your fics or art. if you fancy it, tag a pal. ✨

i apologise in advance for the ridiculous amount of yapping you’re about to read aaaand here are some silly little mari-isms i’ve let bleed into my writing:

🏡 "The house is a ridiculous thing that could easily sleep a whole Exy team, but when Kevin questions it, all Andrew does is shrug and say, “This wasn’t exactly planned, it’s the best I could find with the time I had.”"

geometric equilibrium has a few mari-isms in it. abby's house is based on my friend emma's house too but this feels the most relevant: the house in Asheville is based on a place i stayed in a couple of years ago! the real life one isn't in Asheville, though it is in NC. i spent a really happy week there with friends and it just popped into my head when i was writing this fic. the setup of the rooms (kevin's and andreil's being across the landing from each other) was useful for what i want to write (as well as the bathroom placement!) so i just ran with it.

🪩 “…the faded band t-shirt two sizes too big that the redhead has tucked into a leather mini skirt. Instead of the usual pair of boots, Neil’s wearing a pair of platform sneakers in black and white.”

ahhhhh kaleidoscope :’) the fic where i genderbent all the monsters and then turned neil into my wee dress up doll! all of neil’s outfits were based on stuff i own and this particular one was a fave during my clubbing days. the only thing i didn’t own when i wrote this fic were the black and white trainers which i now own hahaha

🛁 “Bitty cuts himself a generous slice of pie and eats it in the bath.”

i haven’t lived in a house with a bath for three years and i miss it dearly. i used to have pudding and booze in the bath on hard days and it was super therapeutic — honestly i was just living vicariously through bitty in growing pains

🌸 “There, in the corner, not covered by the laundry that Kevin didn’t put away, is a vintage armchair (…) It’s pink, with old, spoiled velvet, and half of the fringes at the bottom of the chair missing.”

approximately eight years ago i walked past an antique shop and fell in love with a pink velvet toad chair with a wee fringe at the bottom. i didn’t think i could afford it but told my partner i was going to try and convince the shop to let me rent it for a photoshoot. i got home after work one day and my partner had bought it for me 🥹 that chair has now been with us in four houses across three countries and used to be one of my late dog’s favourite nap spots. (the fact that i let kandrew desecrate the chair completely in do not disturb the cats was… a choice lmaooooo)

🪡 “Jean comes back to California after five weeks with the Foxes with his hair slightly too long and falling into his eyes, a smattering of fresh freckles over the bridge of his nose, and a new hobby.”

oh this might just be my favourite! when i saw @alcego’s prompt for t&n last year i kneeeeew it had to be mine. giving my Sad Wet Cat blorbo all of my craft hobbies? what a delight! the best part is that out of all the crafts i made him try in transferable skills, book binding (arguably the main one) is the one i never tried

does anyone want to share? i'll pass this along to the folks tagged above and also @vykio @rwnjun @storiesnstardust @greenautumnleaves @djhedy @thetrojeans @seasy33 @nanatsuyu and @sillyunicorn ❣️

[strawberrynightmere]

Can we get Yandere Andrew x Medical Intern! Julia reader?: Julia’s father pressures her into a date with a “friend’s son” (actually a hitman hired to kill Andrew in exchange for the date) as part of his secret organ-harvesting scheme (the whole toxisoda Bs) which Julia knows nothing about. The plan backfires bc Andrew is insane+ typical gore stuff of tcoal, Julia tries to fight him physically but she fails bc she isn't built for fight and she ultimately breaks down under the weight of her father’s manipulation. In the end, she chooses to handle Andrew’s insanity, realizing she loves him just the way he is, lowkey smut, No Ashley involved.

Bonus plus if you reader is implied to be Peruvian or from any other south American country ( I'm craving drama)

Alright, but I can't guarantee that it would go like you wanted it.

No Escape [ Yandere Andrew Graves x Julia! Reader]

TW⚠️: yandere tendencies, bate/hostage situation, threat, murder, gore (I guess, I'm not good with this), reader takes place of Julia, female reader, some smut/nsfw/nsft/18+, reader is implied to be south American (but I suck at writing it).

A/n: I apologize for taking so long, and for not really following the request, or for not understanding it fully, or for my writing. You can criticize me on it.

"I just broke up with him beraly a two months ago. Papa, I need some time before I start dating again." You've been going back and forth with your father over the phone.

"Time to do what?"

"To concentrate on college, my internship in the medical field, myself." You count out, hoping he would back off.

"Well, that's just selfish!"

"Papa, I want you to listen to yourself for a minute." You say dumbfounded.

"T-that's not what I meant. Listen, mi amor, I'm just asking you to give it a chance. He's nice. He has the looks, and he's rich! He works for that soda company. What was it called? Toxi-somthing?"

"Toxisoda? The company that is dealing with several lawsuits over many violations?" That was just plain suspicious, especially since your father was very vocal about his dislike for the company.

"Who cares about such small details! Beside, one's job doesn't determine if they're good. Just one date. That's all I'm asking from you."

You pinch the bridge of your nose in exhaustion.

"Fine."

"Wonderful!"

You really wish you knew what you got yourself into.

🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸

This date has been the most uncomfortable experience in your life. First off, your date, Michael, fit your father's description; nice, handsome, and can afford to take you on a dinner at a five-star restaurant. However, there was something uncanny about him that made you stay on guard. Second, since the start of this date, you felt like you have been followed.

"I have an early shift tomorrow." That's a lie. "Let me pay at least half of the bill."

All in all, you wanted out as soon as possible.

"No need." Michael stops you, holding your wrist, hovering over the bill. "I'll walk you back to your dorm."

Rats!

You tried convincing him that you'll be fine on your own, but he was very insistent to walk you back.

So while you were walking, you tried to keep your distance, but Michael was uncomfortably close.

The feeling in your gut was justified when his arm wrapped around your neck as he drags you into an alleyway.

You tried to fight him off, but he pointed a gun against your head.

"Give it up Graves." Michael said, looking at a shadow cat by a building.

"Drop your weapon or I'll blow her brains out." He threatened, pressing the barrel against your temple, harder.

A metal clank, like a knife falling on the ground, was heard. And with a kick, a clever slides out of the shadow.

Michael's hold on you loosens as the gun was put down.

"That's what I thought-"

*Bang!*

You fall to the ground once you got free, crawling away from the corpse in fear of what has happened just a moment ago. Jumping in fear when a hand comes in contact to your shoulder.

And just like that, half of Michael's head was missing, with parts of it painting the wall behind you.

"Moron."

Green eyes, staring directly into yours. Those familiar green eyes.

You scream and try to run away but get pined to the ground. You tried to break out of Andrew's hold as tears start to pir out.

"No! No! I-... ha! I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!" You don't know why you are apologizing.

You stpped struggling, body trembling, sobs die down when Andrew's hand gently caressing your face. "Shhhh... shhhh. It's alright. It's alright now." He pressed his forehead against yours.

🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸

Quiet gasps and moans are heard in your room, along with the sound of skin slapping. Andrew was on top of you, thrusting himself into you.

Your arms wrapped around his neck as you two kissed.

His thrusts were getting deeper, and the knot in your stomach was tightening. You hold him closer as his last thrust made you see stars.

Panting out of exhaustion, you feel Andrew's hand caressing your face and removing stray strands of hair sticking to it.

"Don't replace me again."

🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸

"Uhh... the date didn't go well. No, papa, he didn't do anything. It's just- I don't want to talk about it.... Yeah, sure. I love you too, bye."

After you hang up the phone, you let out a sigh of releaf.

"Went well?" Andrew asked.

"Yeah." You say while going up to him and sitting on his lap. Laying your head on his shoulder as he wraps his arms around you and kisses your forehead.

A/n: and another request done.

[lewis-winters]

my love if you are still taking requests could i pls have some hcs on K Company (Sledge, Snafu, Burgin, Leyden, De L'Eau, Ack Ack and Hillbilly) and how they would survive a slasher movie (particularly Scream franchise if you have seen it?) absolutely no pressure if u dont feel inspired or interested in writing this ! x thank uu

I've only seen the first one, tbh, so I'm not as well versed with the whole franchise, but I've seen my fair share of slasher movies, so I think I'll give this a go! But I'll be operating on the idea that they're in a slasher film together, so unfortunately, not all of them are going to survive. Sorry! It might not be exactly what you asked for!

1) Andrew Haldane and Eddie Jones - Oh no they don't make it. In fact, they're the dead girls who haunt the narrative. Particularly Andy. But Eddie, too, because Andy would not be dead if Eddie had not died first. They were each other's greatest happiness, and inevitable doom. Their romance is the tragedy, and sets the stage for all the shit that's about to go down next.

2) Bill Leyden - practical, smart, pragmatic, you'd think he'd survive, but he's too skeptical, you know? But he's too logical. Almost to a fault. At first, he wields it as his own weapon against the fear, but slowly it morphs from weapon to shield. Then slowly, from shield to outright denial, and as the tension rises and rises, he struggles to keep from breaking until, finally, he crumbles beneath it. Not completely, but just enough to give their killer an in. He's not surviving the night, unfortunately.

3) Jay De L'eau - he is though! Jay's surviving! out of pure dumb luck! He's so quiet, so small and so unassuming, that the killer will forget about him until it is too late. He's the last minute save you wouldn't expect, the car that comes crashing against your slasher, sending him several feet away and far enough to buy everybody else some time, or the shadow that brings something heavy down upon the slasher's head, enough to knock him out and pull everybody else to their feet, crying 'Run!'. He's the guy they find at the end, maybe in the post-credits scene, hiding beneath the rubble or tucked away amongst the shadows, safe and traumatized. But generally untouched.

4) RV Burgin - I don't think he's surviving. He wants to get out, no question. But he's not desperate enough to throw people under the bus, and maybe that was his mistake. He stops running because someone tripped. Turns to look back because someone calls out his name, reaches out to him. Or makes it out, but then realizes his is a hollow victory if he can't manage to take his friends out with him, too. Man, he should've just run, but that's not who Burgie is. He might come back in the sequel though, maybe in a post-credits scene added by the producers after the test screening audiences demand that he be alright bc they love the character too much.

5) Merriell Shelton - ok if there's a likely candidate for the 'someone from the original group who was the Slasher all along' character, it's Snaf; turns out he was Ghostface this whole time! but that feels like too much of an out and a little unfair, so I'll just say that he'll make it almost all the way to the end, but he's going to slip up. And it's going to be because he's so tired. He's so afraid under all that anger, but he's just so tired, too, and it only takes one little slip. One little swing too late. But make no mistake, he fights back. He will be remembered very fondly because he fights back, and the tragedy of it lies in how close he was to getting out. He was so close. But not close enough.

6) Eugene Sledge - FINAL GIRL FINAL GIRL FINAL GIRL ENERGY ARE YOU KIDDING ME?? OF COURSE HE'S FINAL GIRL he's standing over the bloody corpse of their tormentor and he's the only one in his right mind to shoot it more than once to make sure it's dead. He's the one whose rage far surpasses that of the slasher. He's the who comes out of this ordeal alive and fully changed, covered in blood, blurring the lines between victim and perpetrator, and smoking his pipe at the steps of the house or the entrance of the summer camp; red and blue emergency lights flashing over his face as someone puts a blanket over his shoulders.

[yana125]

Hi! 🍄🖍️ and also ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ for the ask game :)

Hiiii! ^^ I'm actively juggling with two WIPs at the moment, so:

🍄Decriscribe your wip/one of your wips in the format of “___ + ___ =___”

'me getting too fixated on Deadpool because of the new movie coming out soon' + 'me finally watching The Amazing Spider-Man movies' = 'fake movie script of movie Deadpool meeting Peter-3'

That's it. I like writing in script format sometimes and I was like 'how funny it would be to write this story in a script format and Deadpool being aware that this is a script of a not real movie on AO3'. I did my research regarding the story and the villains so... I'll see where I'll get with it. My Celtx doesn't want to work properly so I can't tell how many minutes of it are already written (1 script page ≈ 1 minute).

Also I think their dynamic is just neat. Also I'm begging Ryan Reynolds to make a Deadpool & Spider-Man movie with Andrew Garfield.

🖍Post Any sentence from your wip

You're getting a whole paragraph! :D This is from my Star Wars fanfic, the 'what if Ezra Bridger during his about ten years on his own in a different galaxy learnt about the Dark Side of the Force from the Force ghost of a not evil Sith Lord who lived 3000 years ago' fanfic, which is also the '"the bringing balance to the Force" is not about "good defeating evil", George, it's about "not letting one side suppressing the other" regardless of one or the other being the Light or the Dark' fanfic.

“I feel the fear in you” she said. “You were seduced by the Dark Side many times in your emotional turmoil. But remember this, Ezra Bridger. Just because you show affinity towards the Dark Side, it doesn’t mean you’re a bad person. It only means that, just like in my case, a place is carved out for you there, and that place is calling out to you. The Force gave you a call. And however you decide to answer it is up to you now. The Sith you’ve met, their connection to the Force had been twisted the moment they started their training. You on the other hand had a master who cared about you, who nurtured you, who taught you about the Force as best as he could. And you were surrounded by people who accepted you as the member of their family. But most of all, they treated you like a human being. A child. And no Sith acolyte, not even any Jedi apprentice, were ever treated like one. And everyone deserves the experience to be a child, and not a soldier of some higher power.”

[lupiinee]

Are there any AU’s you’d like to explore but haven’t had the chance to yet?

Do you listen to music whilst writing? If so, what kind of music?

How do you overcome writer’s block?

When did you start writing on Tumblr?

1. When did you start writing on Tumblr?

oh boy this is embarrassing.

so i was on tumblr from about 2008/2009. and i know that this was the case because it was prior to Iron Man 2 being released. I had been writing short drabbles and one-shots on tumblr after being introduced to it by my sister. Now, i was approached by a rper, who rp'd as an au version of rose tyler from doctor who - a character that was a mesh of a timelord god, and a human known only as the bad wolf deity. they spoke to me via skype of all things about creating a character because they had seen my writing and said i should write John Mitchell from the BBC dramedy Being Human (which I loved so I immediately was okay with doing it)

my blog became an rp blog and then i caught the bug. i was NOT a good rper to start with. i was constantly messing up, accidentally godmodding, not being sure of what i was doing, couldn't articulate well enough and my writing was hot GARBAGE. i rped mitchell for about 2 years i think then, when the Avengers was released, i quickly began writing Bruce Banner as part of a group rp called "Avengers Tower" and holy moses that was so much fun. From there i've roleplayed everyone under the sun, from Oz from BTVS, to Spock from Star Trek. I've been rping since 2009, and on tumblr since 2008. i am pretty much geriatric at this point.

18. Are there any AU’s you’d like to explore but haven’t had the chance to yet?

with remus i tend not to do much in the way of aus, i am interested in a few though. namely what might have happened if remus had decided after james and lily died, to join the werewolf clans he feared so much.

another au that has been floating around in my mind as of late is if remus had never resigned from hogwarts in harry's 3rd year. what might that have looked like? but these are just conceptual thoughts that have no real shape yet.

19. Do you listen to music whilst writing? If so, what kind of music?

yes. i love music when writing. i'm a sucker for a good playlist. and i'll usually build playlists around specific characters, tropes, plots or relationships. if people are interested i might drop remus' playlist at some point. but right now that's secret. for this particular character, i tend to focus on a lot of melancholic songs - lots of ethel cain, lots of two headed calf, lots of olafur arnalds, florence + the machine is a big inspo when it comes to remus. but it varies again depending on the character i'm focused on.

20. How do you overcome writer’s block?

revisiting the source material is also a good start. and unfortunately that's difficult for a character like remus because he is a character that comes from a very problematic writer. i tend to try and read passages that i've saved in notebooks about remus. failing that, poems are excellent, i find a lot of inspiration from that, other media too tends to help with exploring emotions that we didn't get to see fully. recently "we live in time" featuring florence pugh and andrew garfield has been a big inspiration with certain scenes. music is excellent, as it conveys emotion.

but, if i'm truly honest? like truly truly honest? when writing remus, overcoming writers block is fairly easy. because, i've based so much of remus' characterisation and pain and anger off of my own experiences and my own frustrations. i live in pain every single day of my life, not as much as my sister, she has gone through far more than me, so that guilt comes from my experience - the same that remus has "people have it worse than me" sort of narrative, whilst negating my own lived in experiences.

i know what it's like to have people look down at me, because i'm a certain way. and i've hidden a great deal of my anger and pain and discomfort beneath the guise of someone always eager to help and always eager to please. and it has been an exhausting, painful and difficult way of living life. and i connect with remus because i get to share that, and i get to explore what it might be like to be loved regardless of that.

[mads-weasley]

Coming Home: Part One

Andrew!Peter Parker x Wife!Reader

Coming Home Masterlist

Main Masterlist

SPIDERMAN: NO WAY HOME SPOILERS BELOW!!!

A/N: Okay, now that that's out of the way, it was so much fun writing this fic! No Way Home awakened my Andrew Garfield obsession that's laid dormant for YEARS!! Anyways, I hope you like it. I do not own any other characters other than (y/n) and little Ben.

Summary: When (y/n)’s husband goes on patrol one night and doesn't come back, she starts to worry. Little does she know, he's not even in the same dimension as her and their son.

Warnings: slight angst, you might die of fluff poisoning

(y/n) - your name

(y/l/n) - your last name

(y/n/n) - your nickname

(y/h/c) - your hair color

With every minute that passed, (y/n)'s worry grew and grew. When Peter had left to go on patrol earlier, she kissed him goodbye and told him to be careful like normal. He was always home by 2 in the morning, but he was nowhere to be found. Every now and then, he would be out later, but he always send his loving wife a text saying he'd be home late.

(Y/n) had woken up at 3am to go coddle Ben, her and Peter's 6 month old baby, to find an empty bed beside her. Her heart rate picked up slightly as she quickly turned over and grabbed her phone from the nightstand. At first glance, she didn't see a text notification, so she went and double checked every way they communicated. The young woman was known for having a level head and not getting stressed out like many others did. At this situation, though, fear shot through her heart like a bullet, and stress overtook her.

She was about to call Peter but Ben let out a wail, and she was reminded that she needed to get him back to sleep before trying to find Pete. It's what he would want. Walking into Ben's small, red and blue nursery decorated with Spiderman decorations, (y/n)'s vision blurred with tears. She picked up Ben and placed him on her chest.

“It’s okay, sweetheart. Mommy’s here.”

After a few minutes of rocking him softly in her arms, he slowly fell asleep. (Y/n) gently placed him back down in the crib and quietly left the room, flicking off the light. When she closed the door, a terrible thought popped in her head.

'If something happened, it would be on tv, right?'

Running to the living room with light footsteps, she frantically grabbed the remote and turned on the Daily Bugle. JJ Jameson hated Peter, well, Spiderman, so if anything had happened to New York's resident web-slinger, he would surely be celebrating. To her relief, the headline was the average, "Spiderman: Hero or Menace," that was a constant with Jameson. She let out a shaky breath she didn't know she had been holding.

She started to pace around the room, thinking of what to do next. Whipping out her phone, she called Peter with a hopeful heart. With every ring that passed, her hope began to dissipate. When she got to his voicemail, dread washed over her.

"Hey, this is Peter Parker. I can't come to the phone right now, but just leave me a message and I'll get back with you sooner than you can say Spidey."

It warmed her heart to hear his soothing voice. With a deep breath, she waited for the beep.

"Hey, Pete. It's me. I'm worried sick about you. Where are you? Are you okay? I-Please, please, call me back when you get this, Peter. Ben and I love you. So much."

After calling 4 times and getting voicemail repeatedly, she sank into the couch with a strangled sigh. With everything going on in her mind, she let her composure go for once. So, (Y/n) Parker laid on the couch, crying into her husband's favorite sweatshirt, praying that he'd soon come through the window, and not found in some alleyway.

While his loving wife was crying back at home, Peter was wandering a city that looked like his New York, but was very different at the same time. There was crazy technology that he had never seen before, and as a nerd for all things science, he was obsessed. Swinging into an alleyway, he glanced behind him and saw something that topped the list of weird things he had seen that day: a sparkly circle who's inside looked like an apartment. When the people inside started calling his name, he was even more surprised.

As he walked towards it, he recognized one of the people he loved the most: (y/n). Walking through the portal, he pulled off his mask as he walked and engulfed her in a bone-crushing hug.

"Where's Ben?"

He should've realized that this was not his wife based on the reaction of her and the other people in the room. Her arms were rigid by her sides and the teenagers were yelling at him.

"Whoa, mister. You're not Peter."

"Yeah, I have a boyfriend," (y/n) started. "And who is Ben?"

Backing away slowly, he took in his surroundings. There were two teenagers, a grandma, and (y/n). As he looked at her again, he realized that she too, was a teenager. His eyes widened at this, and memories of them together in high school flashed in his eyes. This was (y/n), but it was not his (y/n). The old woman screamed.

"Hi. Hi." he waved nervously. To his amusement, she threw a pillow at him. "No, no, no. It's okay. It's okay. I'm a nice guy."

"Who the hell are you?" asked a tall girl beside the dinner table.

"MJ! Be nice." (y/n) scolded, and Peter felt comforted by her voice, but also reminded him that she as home waiting for him, probably worried sick.

"(Y/n)! This guy shows up dressed like your boyfriend and our best friend, so I don't know how I'm supposed to be nice." MJ exclaimed.

Peter had to suppress a smirk that threatened to form on his face. (Y/n) and Spiderman were together in this world as well.

"It's okay. I'm Peter Parker."

Their heads whipped to each other with confused expressions before looking back at him.

"No way. You're not Peter."

"I'm Spiderman in my world. But then yesterday, I was...just here. Look, I have my wife and son that I need to get back to."

Their piercing looks softened at his confession. He was lost in a place that was familiar but foreign to him at the same time. (Y/n) was confused by his hug minutes earlier. She wondered why he acted like that if he had a wife at home. (Y/n), being blunt as she was, asked him about it.

"If you have a wife back home, why'd you flip out and hug me?"

The older man let out a chuckle at the similarities between the girl in front of him and the woman he came home to each day. "Funny story, actually. You're (y/n) (y/l/n)."

Her brows furrowed in confusion. "How do you know that?"

"Well, in my world, you're (y/n) Parker, my wife. You look exactly like she did when we started dating about 10 years ago." He says with a sheepish smile, rubbing the back of his neck.

She stared at him in thought, and he could see the gears turning in her mind. His smile widened when she began pacing around the room, a habit his (y/n) had too.

"Sting theory, multidimensional reality, and matter displacement. All real?" Peter asked with wide eyes at his realization.

"Yeah." they agreed.

Pumping his fist wildly, "I knew it! Just wait til' I tell (y/n/n)." he exclaimed.

They all looked at each other again, but this time, they looked surprised. "What did you call her?" The boy asked for the first time.

"Uhh, (y/n/n). Why?"

(Y/n) spoke up. "Because my Peter is the only one who calls me that."

~

Since his introduction to Ned, MJ, and this world's (y/n), he had met two other Peter Parkers that were also Spiderman. This world's Peter, labeled Peter 1, filled him and Peter 2, on what was going on and that a few of the villains they defeated were back.

Peter told the other two about Doc Connors and about the cure he had created for the man all those years ago. Before he knew it, they were in a lab, each working on something to save the man they were fighting for the second time. He glanced over and saw Peter 1 and (y/n) talking softly as she comfortingly rubbed his arm. A sweet smile grew on his face, and he turned back to his work, trying not to spy on their obviously private moment.

A few minutes later, Peter 1 walked up to him. "So I heard you're married to (y/n) in your world."

His smile widened at the thought of her. Dang, he missed (y/n)’s smiling face, even if he got to see it here too, it wasn't the same. He also missed the way she'd hold Ben when he was crying, whispering sweet nothings into his ear.

"Yeah. She's the love of my life."

"Me too." he agreed, glancing over to his (y/n) across the room.

"It's worth it."

"What is?" He asked with a furrowed brow.

"All this. All the crap you have to go through being a hero. It's all worth it when you get to go home and see her smiling face when you walk through the door at the end of the day. When she's holding your child...It's all worth it."

The man didn't realize he had tears in his eyes until Ned wheeled over on a rolling stool, offering a tissue.

"Been keeping these closeby today," he said kindly.

Peter chuckled lightly, pulling one out of the box. "Thanks, man."

~

The fighting was finally over, and as much as he enjoyed meeting the other Peter's, he was more than ready to be home. The Peters all shared a group hug before the foreign ones disappeared back to their dimensions with a smile. In the blink of an eye, Peter was back in his New York. With breakneck speed, he swung across the city to his and (y/n)'s apartment. Quietly sliding open the window and crawling in, his heart broke at the sight before him.

(Y/n) was asleep, sitting on the floor beside the window with tear-stained cheeks. He pulled out his phone, which was finally working, and checked his messages and the date. It had been a day and a half since he had disappeared. He also had 20 missed calls and texts from her. Cursing softly, he went to pick her up and carry her to their bed, but was cut off by the beginnings of a cry from Ben.

Opening Ben's door, he smiled at the face of his baby boy. He had (y/n)’s (y/h/c) hair, but other than that, he looked like a carbon copy of Peter. He picked him up and sat in the rocking chair in the corner rubbing his back soothingly, trying to coax him back to sleep.

"It's alright, buddy. Daddy's here." he cooed.

This was all he ever wanted in life, and he hoped that the youngest Peter would get it, too. Having an amazing wife and child was the best thing that ever happened to him; 100 times better than becoming Spiderman. If he had to choose, he would easily choose (y/n) and Ben.

Before long, Ben had fallen back asleep and Peter placed him back in his crib, ready to be with his wife. Walking back into their room, she was in the exact same position as before. He picked her up bridal style, careful not to wake her, and placed her in their bed. Quickly taking off his suit, he changed into some comfortable shorts, and slid into bed beside her.

She subconsciously snuggled up to his chest, making his heart melt. He put his arms around her and pulled her closer to him, pulling the covers over them. The motion caused (y/n) to stir and open her eyes slightly.

"Peter?" She asked sleepily.

"Yeah, it's me."

Still half asleep, she peered up at him, rubbing his bruised cheek with her soft hand. Tears filled her eyes.

"I was so worried," she whispered. "I thought something happened to you...where were you, Peter?"

Placing his hand over her's, he replied. "I'm okay. I'll explain everything in the morning."

Her eyes began to flutter shut, and he could tell how exhausted she looked as she slurred, "'kay. love you."

"I love you, too, sweetheart."

As Peter Parker closed his eyes, his own exhaustion hit him and he began to drift off as he lovingly rubbed his wife’s hair. His super-hearing allowed him to listen to steady beat of his (y/n)'s heart; his home. He was finally home.

[mermaidsirennikita]

ARC Review: The Duke Gets Even by Joanna Shupe

5/5. Releases 1/24/2023.

For when you're vibing with... Enemies to lovers, duke in the streets/freak in the sheets, Sagittarius-coded heroines, rough sex, and lines so romantic they'll make your heart grow three sizes.

Once upon a time, there was a romance series, and it was a great romance series (one of my favorites, easily). And in the first book, The Heiress Hunt, you got the rare legitimately compelling friends to lovers moment--but who stood between the friends (who became lovers)? The hot, perfectly coiffed, gentlemanly Duke of Lockwood (Fuckwood). Rather conspicuously during this novel, the heroine's best friend, bon vivant girl about town Nellie, was all, "You should not marry the Duke of Lockwood!!! He's the worst!!! Why? I shall not elaborate!!!"

And so, for the next book, The Lady Gets Lucky, Lockwood romanced another heroine in the hope of getting dollar princess dollars. But lo, he was cucked. Again. In the third book he didn't even try, but he still sort of got cucked, because why not? That's hilarious. But throughout the series, you get these little hints and asides that suggest that while Lockwood and Nellie hate each other, they really hate how much they want to absolutely rail the fuck out of each other.

Thus, we get The Duke Gets Even.

Truly, I don't know that I've ever been as excited about a romance release as I am about The Duke Gets Even. I was practically campaigning for an ARC of this book. And I have no regrets, even though I don't think that campaigning mattered much, because I have read this book several times since I got the ARC, and it is glorious.

There's something about a great historical romance series--wherein all the books do stand alone, but when read in sequence, you get these great tidbits of how a happy couple is doing, or who might come next. The Fifth Avenue Rebels has been great in this sense, giving us several parallel stories that all spin off of the same wild Newport house party (and building a core group of friends that I love). But undoubtedly, the couple that Joanna Shupe has been teasing the entire time is Nellie and Lockwood--a spitfire rich girl with a keen sense towards reproductive justice, and a seemingly uptight duke who needs to marry an American heiress in order to secure his estate's future. Reading previous books (which again, isn't necessary but is fun, not least of all because they're just good books) you know that Nellie has actively campaigned against this man getting with any of her friends. Now we see why. And we also get a love story that is less about his worries over her reputation, regardless of what the setup may make you think... and more about Nellie's fears of emotional intimacy and what an uncertain future with Lockwood (government name Andrew, I'll add) could hold. Trust and believe: the man is all in with her quite early in the book--while Nellie's journey really imitates a traditional historical romance hero's journey. God, Joanna Shupe's brain.

Quick Takes:

--Yes, this book is hot as fuck. Yes, he's a bit of a freak. To get it out of the way: Lockwood likes rough sex. Fortunately, Nellie also likes rough sex! He's into biting her and leaving bruises, she's into scratching him and drawing blood. There's a wonderful moment when he promises to ~stick to the outside~ because of previous exertions that lives rent free in my head. While I would say the sex in this book is very intimate and vulnerable and oftentimes emotional, I wouldn't say that it's like... "He parted my tender petals" sex. Which, like--is why Joanna Shupe, in my opinion, writes some of the best sex scenes in historical romance. Easily. The sex Nellie and Lockwood have feels authentic to who they are and their relationship.

--So much water in this book! I love a motif. Nellie and Lockwood meet in the water; swimming is an important part of life for him; they bond over her dad letting him use the indoor pool (Cornelius Young, my brother in CHRIST, setting these two up for naked pool shenanigans... He said "If my daughter's gonna have wild sex in inappropriate locations, I'd rather it be with a gentleman who adores her"). Lockwood's always like "Nellie is a beautiful winsome mermaid, I find that so annoying".

--I love that much of the emotional crux of this book does surround Nellie's love of women and her desire for a maternal figure. She does have one, but the loss of her mother is still acute, and that felt very emotionally authentic to me. Also: there is an amazing undercurrent of being the last single woman in your group of beloved female friends, and how lonely that can be, and oof--I've never read that in a historical in a manner that isn't about the woman wanting to get married, but the woman feeling isolated from her friends, and stunted somehow. Hit me real hard.

--I feel like it's important to say that this book is obviously very timely. Nellie does crusade for women's rights, and she has had an abortion in the past and has zero regrets about it. She distributes birth control to women who really fucking need it (that is: women who don't have the money to get it through illicit channels like Nellie and her friends do). It's very well done, and while I anticipated Nellie's activities putting her into conflict with Lockwood... They really don't? Not in the way you're thinking, at least.

--There is a lot of interesting "here's what a duke actually was in society by this point" shit, which I found hilarious and a great takedown of the "all powerful duke" in historical romance. In many ways, Lockwood is very alpha and take charge and everything you want from a historical romance hero. But also, the conceit of his entire plot since day one has been that he is BROKE. And he's in America! He's basically a fun little party guest! With no money! He came to the States with his title, his massive cock, and a dream.

--The dirty talk in this novel? The amount of times he'd just call her "darling" after instructing her to do a sex thing? "I'm going to cover you in bite marks, darling"???? There's such a fun back and forth in the dialogue between these characters. You definitely get filled in on the time that's passed over the previous three books, and how Nellie and Lockwood have been dealing with their shenanigans in the background of the other love stories. It leaves you with two people who aren't friends but do know each other quite well, and can't resist the urge to dig at one another.

--I love Nellie so much. Easily a top heroine for me. (Who does in fact get on top.) But I will say that Lockwood's inner monologue was just... fabulous. The amount of times this man would just be like "WELP. ONCE AGAIN THE WORLD IS HERE TO SHIT ON ME" when he wasn't just rhapsodizing over Nellie? Honestly, a relatable king.

--There is a thing in this book that did yield a moment and a love confession in which I did tear up, and I'm kind of impressed by how Shupe to chose to leave it. Like, I know how I'm interpreting shit, but--especially considering a recent discussion on romance Twitter--I found it intriguing.

This is just what I wanted it to be--a good dose of enemies to lovers, a man who's butt crazy in love, and a woman who can't deal with it. Also, the kinds of ridiculously hot sex scenes that only Joanna Shupe can deliver. God bless. I couldn't recommend it more.

Thank you to Netgalley and Avon for giving me a free copy of this book exchange for an honest review.

[nikoruistyping]

could you do one of andrew!peter parker x fem!reader going ice skating as a date and when reader manages to skate alone, Peter just looks at her because of how adorable she is. And you can add the “it's allergy season” like tasm2 when he notices how her nose and cheeks are pink.

IM QPJRLWDJSODJQLEJWOE- not okay😃

Love on Ice || TASM Peter Parker

TASM!Boyfriend!Peter Parker x Fem!reader​

Summary: You and Peter decide to go ice skating at Rockefeller center and even though you are excited about it your also a bit fearful to skate on the ice but once you get the hang of it, things start to look up...

TW: Fluff, Kissing, Mention of Falling (its an ice skating rink so of course people are gonna fall, no serious injuries tho!), Lots of Lovey Dovey Cuteness

Word Count: 1,840

A/N: Was able to write this one out pretty quickly and I had a lot of fun writing it especially since I used to ice skate as a kid with my brother who was good at it since he was a hockey player so I tried to recall some of my childhood memories of ice skating to make this request as real as possible. Hope you enjoy Anon and thank you for the request!

You clutched onto the sleeves of your winter jacket, your legs shivering and rubbing together to create some type of warmth so you wouldn't freeze to death in the New York cold. You turned your head back and forth as you were looking for your boyfriend in the crowd and hoped he wouldn't be late this time for your date. The last time you and Peter tried to organize a date night it was rudely interrupted by the fact that he needed to yet again save the world from imminent danger. You knew that having Spiderman as your boyfriend was a big responsibility and you understood what he did and that saving the world was his sole purpose in life other than being completely and utterly in love with you, but sometimes you wanted to be selfish and keep him all to yourself.

Your fingers were starting to get frozen through your gloves and as more time passed you couldn't spot that big fluff of brown hair along with those big doe eyes of his in the crowd. You turned around looking into the ice rink at Rockefeller Center and you smiled watching all the couples, children, and even some solo skaters while they all glided gracefully across the ice. It was your idea to come skate at the cities busiest ice rink especially around Christmas time. Your head rested in the palm of your hand, leaning against the railing and staring at the sight in front of you, mesmerized at their movements.

Before you could daydream and doze off for too long you felt two sneaky hands snake around to your waist from behind and you smiled knowing who it already was just by the touch of his fingers drumming against your hips. He spun you around quickly, your hands landing on his chest, your face was inches away from Peter.

"Hey, there handsome." A smile on your face while you looked at him up and down seeing how handsome he really looked in his usual get-up of a black wool coat, jeans, and converse sneakers that he never failed to go anywhere without.

"Right back at you beautiful," He leaned down, nuzzling his nose against yours before quickly pecking your lips softly and pulling away, his eyes glancing towards the rink behind you.

"You ready to go skating?" He asked raising an eyebrow at you before pulling away and taking your hand in his immediately intertwining with yours, you followed his lead skipping down the steps.

"Of course! I've been so excited to try it ever since you mentioned it." Your voice going high-pitched and excited since it would be your first time ever ice skating before so the thought was exciting yet a bit scary all at once.

"Well let's just hope you don't end up like that guy over there." He chuckled while pointing at one of the skaters who was on the ice and had fallen to the ground on their butt and rubbing their back in pain.

"See and that's why I'll be clinging onto the wall and shuffling like a penguin the whole time." You giggled at the thought as you imagined it in your head.

"Oh come on, that's no fun now is it?! I'll be right by your side, helping you along the way." He quickly kissed the top of your head while the both of you sat on the benches and grabbed a pair of the rental skates.

"Promise me that you will catch me if I fall?" You turned your head to look at him, his smile flashing right back at you whilst taking off your boots and slipping on the white figure skates, making sure to tie the laces tight.

"Always," He said while standing up and being able to perfectly balance in the ice skates, meanwhile, you were a bit wobbly to stand but his fast spidey reflexes helped by instantly grabbing at your waist and your hand to keep you steady.

"You're going to do great, just follow my lead ok?" He leaned down to whisper into your ear while you slowly and cautiously placed your foot into the rink.

"Ok..." Your voice whispered under your breath, shaky and a bit worried even but you trusted Peter with your life and if anything you could totally conquer a simple ice skating rink, it wasn't some giant unknown monster.

You felt your foot slowly slide forward and your heart was beating like crazy, your hand squeezing Peter's while you slowly placed your other foot on the ice and finally, you were inside the rink. He quickly followed you, staying right by your side while the both of you slowly moved together in unison.

"See? It's not so bad, right?" He questioned looking down to see if you were ok and you just nodded your head, biting your lip, shuffling slowly forward to meet with his steps.

"Peter I feel like I'm gonna fall any minute now-"

Your feet started to glide forward and your body was completely stiff at this point the only way you were actually moving was because Peter had been pulling you along by the hand.

"Don't worry, I got you,"

While still holding your hand he skated a bit ahead and faced you as he somehow was magically able to skate in a backward fashion, his hands never leaving yours.

"You got this Y/N, I believe in you." His words of encouragement making you smile as you looked into his eyes and nodded, trusting his big brown eyes and his charming grin.

"I really hope so..." Your voice trailed off while you looked at some of the other skaters who had been flying past you and you tried to study and observe their movements, seeing how their feet moved, pushing against the ice rather than shuffling.

You looked down for a brief moment, you quickly closed your eyes and tried to take a deep breath, mimicking the motion and pushing to glide rather than taking small baby steps. To your surprise, it worked and you were slowly picking up speed. Your head quickly shot up and you looked at Peter in amazement that you were actually getting the hang of it, you were actually skating!

"I-I think I'm doing it?!" You shouted excitedly as Peter guided you to turn following the curve of the rink.

"You're doing great, just keep on going." He was smiling and looking in awe at how adorable it was that you were actually struggling with something. You never backed down from a challenge and you were stubborn as hell when it came to pretty much anything, you thought you could master whatever came across your path but something as simple as ice skating was getting you all rattled up.

You nodded your head at him, the gusts of cold air that blew through the rink were making your nose sniffle uncontrollably and it felt as if the wind was flushing the skin on your cheeks completely reddish-pink. You kept on pushing, gliding, pushing, and gliding until before you knew it slowly you were starting to skate gracefully on the ice. You were so excited and in shock that you were finally skating at a normal speed that you barely even noticed Peter had let go of your hands and you were doing it all by yourself now. It felt exactly like the moment when you were riding your bicycle as a kid and your dad had just let go of the seat while you kept on pedaling, you didn't need the training wheels anymore.

Peter couldn't wipe the biggest grin on his face as he laughed at how beautiful you looked, the expression on your face that you had accomplished and conquered yet another thing in your life was such a heartwarming feeling. He loved seeing you break out of your element and trying new things, making wonderful memories with him was all he could ever ask for. After letting go of your hands and moving out of your way he started to skate beside you again and thankfully enough with his strength and reflexes skating seemed to come pretty naturally to him, it was like skateboarding almost except on ice that is.

"I knew you could do it, look at you go!" He exclaimed while the both of you skated around the rink making a full lap around.

"I actually can't believe it, I'm really doing it. I'm finally ice skating!" You said with a small sniffle escaping your nostrils and you quickly used your glove to rub and scratch the tip. You looked to your side as Peter just laughed at you.

"I'm proud of you love but you do know Y/N you're doing it again, that cute little nose rub." His hand reached for your free one to hold, while his other hand had snaked around to your waist, pulling you both to skate off to the sidelines of the rink.

"Oh, but it's allergy season." You looked into his eyes, batting your eyelashes knowing that it was his weakness because he in fact really adored how cute your nose rubs were.

"You're killing me here with all this cuteness." He motioned with his hand to your face, you leaned in closer to him while you held onto his coat for balance.

"I guess you could say I know what Spiderman's one weakness is, nose rubs." You giggled as your hands gripped onto his coat a bit harder while you leaned in just enough for your nose to touch his.

"Actually according to the guy I fought last week I would say small knives are more my weakness." He chuckled remembering the silly encounter he had and you playfully slapped his bicep.

"You're such a smartass Peter Parker but I love you anyway." You whispered into the small space between the both of you before softly kissing his lips, his hands gripping tighter at your waist making sure to keep you close, the both of you having glided slowly into the rink wall and bumping into it. As your teeth had clashed into his from the impact you both pulled away laughing and looking into each other's eyes.

"I love you too Y/N." He smiled before placing another kiss onto your lips, the touch of your lips against his creating just enough warmth to make it feel like it was less cold outside.

As you both pulled away from each other you smiled happily while for the rest of that evening you were able to join the other skaters in skating around the rink by yourself without any help. You had even become ambitious enough to challenge Peter to race around the rink to see who would win and of course, he didn't want to admit it but he let you win, he always let you win no matter what it may have been. The evening was filled with smiles, laughs and small kisses here and there as you both tried to pull off some couples stunts in the rink, and thankfully like Peter had promised he was there to catch you when you almost fell and by the end of the night you were all skated out but you were grateful to have such an amazing boyfriend by your side, experiencing yet again something new together as a couple.

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[zaynesplushiekiller]

Hello! May I get relationship head canons of a poly relationship between Joker,Norton and Andrew? (Strange bunch😞) x a male reader? Im fine with either SFW or NSFW...thankyou!<3

this was so fun to write (✯ᴗ✯) destroyed my writers block for a minute!!

norton, joker (both weeping clown and smiley face), and andrew with a male significant other

✿✿

• I don't know how you managed to bunch these three together, but somehow you did it!

• I'm assuming you're referring to weeping clown, but in case you're not I'll give hcs for joker before & after being a hunter.

• andrew and joker both have trouble reading, so you and norton often read to them when they ask.

• andrew asks you to read passages from the bible, and romance books.

• (he's very shy about the second request, though.)

• joker likes romance-fiction books.

• though he's very in love with his three boyfriends, he still sometimes fantasizes about what could've happened with natalie.

• at first, norton was pretty apprehensive of andrew.

• the idea of hiding underground terrified him deep down. it reminded him too much of the accident, and he's so scared something similar might happen to andrew.

• andrew always reassures norton that he's fine, he's done this a thousand times!

• speaking of the accident, norton still needs help taking care of his scars from it.

• joker needs help taking care of his burns as well.

• you and andrew are officially on medic duty!

• the two of you spend quite some time after matches making sure norton and joker are both well-taken care of.

• in return, on bad days, they take care of the both of you. it's a way they say thanks.

• norton, andrew, and joker all have the same love language; acts of service.

• so you can bet your bottom dollar that it is a daily argument of who gets to do what for who.

• who gets to cook you breakfast in bed? who gets to help you carry things to and from matches? you get the idea.

• when joker becomes smiley face, a lot changes within your relationship.

• you turn from a badass full team with a great team comp, to only three of you and a highly-feared hunter.

• at least now you guys can do tarot? and quite a bit of blackjack-

• it still hurts. you can't see joker as much as before, and usually in matches it's really life or death.

• if all three of you are in a match, he goes friendly. he can't stop himself, he really doesn't want to hurt any of you.

• even though joker is a hunter now, the four of you sometimes sneak away to have picnics near the red church.

• it's time when you're all sitting on a blanket in the church, laughing and eating yummy food (prepared by andrew and norton), that you forget you're in a death game.

[celestialevie]

Birthday surprise // Niall Horan x singer! Reader

Genre: Fluff

Word count: 1.6k

Warnings: none

A/N: Since it's officially my birthday week and Niall's has just passed, I decided to write this very self-indulgent fic (even though I can't sing, but a girl can dream </3). I mostly wrote this for myself because I adore this human with my whole heart. Anyways hope someone will enjoy this fic just as much as I did writing it.

Finishing the first two songs, you chat a little with your fans. Noticing some of the signs they brought with them to get you to notice them, some of them making you laugh, while some of them made your heart clench with love. Sitting down at the piano, starting to play 'champagne problems'. While you were in the happiest relationship to date now, you still had some issues with your past relationships, where you were made the villain and them a victim when in reality it was the literal opposite. Niall was the blessing you were praying for. So what if you were fucked in the head? Niall loved you just the way you were.

Your birthday was coming up, and you were going to spend it while being in one of the cities you absolutely love touring in – Dublin. Although you were heartbroken because this will be the first birthday you were going to celebrate without your boyfriend, Niall. Ever since you've known him, you celebrated both of your birthdays with one another. His tour lead him to being in America during your birthday, which really sucked. You were both bummed out about it, he even offered to reschedule that concert, so he can be with you in Dublin, maybe even visit his family whilst already being in Ireland, you told him no. You didn't want to be selfish just because it's your birthday. Talking on the phone with him right from the moment he was awake (which was already in the afternoon for you). '' It feels weird to not be with you on your birthday, how will I survive without my birthday kisses and hugs from you? '' you ask while pouting. Niall chuckled and mimicked your put. '' I will give you your birthday kisses and hugs as soon as I see you. With extra ones for each day between your birthday and the day we see each other again. I promise. '' he gives you a smile. And you just pout harder. '' I really miss you. I can't wait to see you soon. '' checking the time, you realize it's almost time for you to start getting ready. '' Hey baby, I have to go start getting ready soon. I'll make sure Jenna calls you to FaceTime and shows you at least some concert if you're not busy. I love you and I miss you. '' as you say that, you hang up and quickly text your makeup artist, she can come over. Two minutes later, her and Jenna (your assistant and close friend) are in your dressing room, and you're getting ready. An hour later, you were done with your makeup and hair and all that was left was to put on your outfit. Ten minutes later, you were slowly making your way towards stage. Quickly texting Niall another I love you, and wishing him good luck on his own show later, you were off on the stage, the intro of your song' dress' starting to play as you were brought onto the stage. Let the fun begin.

After champagne problems, one of your favourite songs you wrote was next.

''... Don Perignon you brought it, no crowd of friends applauded

your hometown sceptics called it, champagne problems.''

'' A lot of you might not know, but this next song was inspired after I was done watching the amazing spider-man 2 for the millionth time. My love for Emma Stone and Andrew Garfield is unmatchable. Just ask my boyfriend, who's been hanging out with Tom Holland, how both of them are feeling betrayed by my love for both Amazing Spider-man's movies. This is How you get the girl. '' The intro of the song started playing and so were the screams of people.

Singing two more songs, you go get changed into a different outfit. Going back onto the stage, you're surprised that your manager Anna is standing there with a grin on her face.

'' Stand there like a ghost

Shaking from the rain

She'll open up the door and say 'are you insane?'

Say it's been long six months

And you were too afraid to tell her what you want, want...''

'' Uh-oh, manager is grinning, prepare yourselves guys, it's not going to be good. '' The crowd laughs while Anna rolls her eyes and smiles at you. '' We have a small surprise for you. '' as she says that, she points on the big screen behind you, when you turn around you are surprised to see a familiar face of one of your closest friends, Lewis Capaldi, wishing you a happy birthday and saying you guys need to go clubbing again soon. Laughing as his face fades away and the next one shows up, your very close friend and sometimes co-writer Taylor Swift, again wishing you the happiest birthday and saying how much she adores working with you and that she loves you very much. It went on for a while, all your friends and even your parents were there. Tears were falling down, and you didn't care it ruined your makeup. And then at the end there he was. My favourite face to see. Niall. '' Happiest birthday to you angel. I wish I could be there with you, just like we are always for our birthdays, but unfortunately I am not there to give you all the birthday hugs and wishes. I love you so much angel, keep rocking the world, and I will see you as soon as we can. '' At the end you were full on sobbing happy tears, hugging your manager and your band. The best surprise ever. '' I am very sorry for being a mess so publicly '' wiping your tears and thanking to whoever invented waterproof mascara for being the reason your makeup is not that ruined. '' Anyway, the show must go on, so let's go. '' picking up your acoustic guitar, adjusting it, you announce the song. ''You are in love. Let's go.''

''(...)

As the show is slowly coming to an end, and you're about to play a song that is about your boyfriend, that he inspired you to write. And Taylor helped you co-write it.

Morning, his place

Burnt toast, Sunday

You keep his shirt

He keeps his word

And for once, you let go

Of your fears and your ghosts

One step, not much

But it said enough

You kiss on side walks

You fight and you talk

One night he wakes

Strange look on his face

Pauses, then says

You're my best friend

And you knew what it was

He is in love. ''

'' Sadly, the show is slowly coming to an end. You guys were the absolute best and I adore spending my birthday with you all. This next song is literally one of the most accurate songs I've written about any of my relationship. When I got inspired by my loveliest boyfriend, I had to invite Taylor to help me write it, as we all know she is the lyrics master. Lover is one of my many nicknames I use for Niall, and I know that he's probably watching this or will watch it later, so hi Niall. '' you wave to one of the camera's while the crowd laughs. Gently, you start playing the guitar.

What you didn't know is that your boyfriend is a liar and is actually hiding with your assistant Jenna, waiting to come on the stage to surprise you. Of course, he wouldn't miss your birthday, even if he has to reschedule the concerts. You were absolutely worth it. As he waits for the part of the song he's gonna crash in, Jenna and Anna are making sure you don't accidentally notice Niall before time. The plan is for Anna to quickly distract you on one side while Niall comes out on the other side of the stage.

'' (...)

We could let our friends crash in the living room

This is our place, we make the call

And I'm highly suspicious that everyone who sees you wants you

I've loved you three summers now, honey, but I want 'em all

Can I go where you go?

Can we always be this close forever and ever?

And ah, take me out, and take me home (forever and ever)

You're my, my, my, my

Lover '' as you sing that part, you notice Anna waving at you like a maniac, distracting you and mouthing something to you. As you're trying to figure out what is she saying, the crowd starts screaming, and you freeze as the familiar voice starts to sing the next part of the song

''Ladies and gentlemen, will you please stand?

With every guitar string scar on my hand...''

The song soon comes to an end, and you're bringing Niall into another hug. He just smiles and wraps his arms around your waist. '' Happy birthday, angel. I hope you don't mind me crashing. '' You just shake your head while holding him as close as you can. '' You are always welcome to crash my show. The next song is your song anyway, so you might as well stay and sing with me. '' he pulls away and looks at you. '' Let's go finish this show, so I can give you all the birthday kisses and hugs you want. ''

You turn around with your hand on your mouth, as the man himself makes his way towards you. You're in absolute shock because this man is supposed to be in America. He only laughs at your reaction as he pulls you towards him in a tight hug while still singing. Hugging him back, not wanting to let go of him. Slightly pulling away, looking him directly in his beautiful blue eyes while singing.

'' I take this magnetic force of a man to be my lover

My heart's been borrowed and yours has been blue

All's well that ends well to end up with you

Swear to be overdramatic and true to my lover

And you'll save all your dirtiest jokes for me

And at every table, I'll save you a seat, lover ''

[flamingo-writes]

Ch. 9: Out For Blood

Keep You On My Side, Chapter 9: Out for Blood

Andrew Garfield!Peter Parker x [Female] Reader

[Previous] [Next: 03.30]

A/N: Make a wish next time I post when I schedule it because I'm a dum dum 😭 It took me so long to write this, mostly because this is the longest chapter yet, and it's basically twice as long as the last two chapters. Anyways, like I said in last chapter, I'll try to slowly go back to my scheduled posting on Sundays...Hopefully, I'll be able to make it ToT Anyways, I hope you enjoy this chapter, it's a bunch of strong emotions all poured into one messy chapter with so much happening.

Summary: As you watch from a distance, you can't believe everything that's happening. Although, you wished things were gonna be different the next day, but only turned out to be a roller coaster that seemed to take unpredictable turns as the day went buy. Secrets confessed, memories you wish you could forget, truth you can't believe, and the realization finally hitting you.

Warnings: This chapter contains darker topics, mentions of psychotic behavior, manipulation, gaslighting, depression, mentions of suicide threads.

Word Count: 8.2K

“Stay here, don’t go down, don’t do anything. I’ll come back for you as soon as I’m done” He babbled as he turned around and jumped down as you watched him incredulous, your heart beating fast as you dropped your gym bag and approached the edge.

“Peter!” You cried out as you started getting worried.

You watched him swing back into the eye of the hurricane, as the guy with the dark cape swung towards him and Peter dodged him. You stood paralyzed as you watched, the penny dropping again. If Peter was…If Spiderman…While earlier you had no issue processing this information. But now…seeing him in this situation, made your heart sink in fear. Right, Spiderman did a lot more than stopping robbers and helping kittens off the trees, or even helping people who left their keys inside their cars. You remembered the few weird instances in which very weird characters attacked the city. The giant lizard, the electric guy, some giant rhino…and now, these two clowns in silly costumes who seemed to know how to put up a fight even with Spiderman’s enhanced senses.

You looked horrified as you watched Spiderman dodge some attacks, but receive most of them, either by managing to protect himself or completely take the hit. However, everything was happening too fast and too far away. You were a couple of buildings away, and with a very good reason. Spiderman taking you in particular there, while he simply told people to leave and where to go, spoke volumes about his priority to keep you safe. It made your heart ache.

Your eyes filled with tears as you felt your phone vibrating. You pulled it out of the back pocket of your jeans as you saw Miles’s name on the screen and picked up.

“Yeah?” You said in a shaky voice.

“Yo– are you alright? Where are you?” Miles asked, alarmed as he noticed the peculiar tone in your voice.

“I-I…” You chuckled bitterly. “Not sure how to…say…this…”

“Dude, what the hell? Should I call my dad? He’s a cop…” He added nervously.

“N-no. I-I’m…fine” You said, not lying, but you were mostly worried about Peter. “I’m…on top…of a building”

“Wha–?”

“I’m fine. I’m…there’s some sort of…issue…going on between Spiderman and two other guys…” You explained nervously as Miles easily picked up on your anxiety. “I was…walking by, when Pe–, I peeked over the street to see what was going on, and Spiderman saw me and…took me away from there..”

“He left you on top of some random building?” He asked exasperated.

“Ye-yeah" You sighed nervously. "I-I'm…safe. Don't worry…"

"Sis, you don't sound exactly relieved…" Miles chuckled bitterly.

"I'm worried about him …Spiderman…" You admitted.

"Are you two friends or something?"

"I mean, we've talked a few times…he's saved me several times…and he's walked me home to make sure I make it home safely…" You replied, not exactly lying to Miles.

"Do you… know who he is?" His question made your stomach drop as you knew you wouldn’t be able to lie to him.

"I…I think…" You said, not exactly lying.

"Yo, what? Really?" He asked incredulous.

"I'm not sure…okay? I haven't confirmed it” Truth “And even if I did…if it were me, and someone found out I'm MJ, I wouldn't want them to tell anyone, you know?" Also truth, and with that, Miles sighed deeply.

"Yeah, fair…Hey, he'll be alright, you'll be alright…" Miles said, mostly to relieve himself.

"Yeah, thanks…" You replied, sounding a lot more calm, and making Miles feel more calm as well.

"Should I call my dad? And tell them about the ruckus?"

"Ye-yeah…"

You gave Miles the address and hung up as you leaned over to the edge, looking for Spiderman, your heart beating fast and strong on your chest as it was hard to follow the bad guys and Peter. There was shooting, although they did not seem like regular guns and instead looked like something out of a Hollywood action movie. What was going on? You were so freaked out by everything you couldn't understand and what was happening.

For several seconds, Peter was out of your range of sight, as you kept hearing the ruckus, yelling, cursing. And you were standing too close to the edge, leaning over the balcony as you felt your heart on your throat.

A quick dash of orange and yellow ran from the alley they’d disappeared. You looked at it, noticing it was one of the guys who was fighting as well. You watched him climb up the building, running away as Peter was fighting the other guy with the metallic dark cape. You knew screaming would be useless, and would perhaps catch the attention of the guy running away and put you in danger.

However, as you looked at Peter struggling with the other guy, you completely missed the second man jumping from building to building, slowly making his way in you general direction. You heard a loud huff, catching your attention as you watched the guy running away jumping into the fire escape from the building you were secured in. You gasped and moved away from the edge as the man climbed up.

His peculiar suit, looking almost like a suit of armour had orange and yellow details, as well as some large gauntlets and boots. He jumped on the edge and stared at you for a full two seconds.

Your body froze in shock, suddenly feeling the blood drain your face and your stomach fell to the ground at the realisation that the bad guy had seen your face.

“Enjoying the view, darling?” He hissed with a chuckle as he continued running towards the next building.

You watched him leave speechless as you stood paralysed and thought about the implications. He’d seen you. God, he had seen you. You wondered how screwed you were. You could be just any person watching through the roof of their building, right? Unless they’d seen Spiderman take you there himself. The fact that he let everyone else run away but took you to the roof.

Another loud growl snapped you out of your thoughts as you ran back to the edge and saw a bunch of web hung between two buildings, and in the middle the bad guy was all wrapped in it, suspended in the middle of the web. Although Peter was nowhere to be seen. At least for a few seconds you heard him crashing against the fire escape as you looked down. He climbed the wall slowly, catching his breath until he finally made it to the top.

“Peter!” You said desperately as you approached him and hugged him as he groaned softly and then wrapped an arm around your back. “Are you alright?” You purred, breaking the hug and looked at him as you noticed he was holding his side with one of his arms.

“Received a pretty nasty blow on my ribs, but nothing that a good night's sleep won’t fix…” He replied with a cheerful, although tired voice.

You watched him with worry overflowing your eyes, almost like tears.

"Hey, can I ask what you are doing out here late at night? You could've gotten hurt!” He said in a low and somewhat severe voice “Or worse! You could have died”

You looked at him and realised how dangerous it was. You being there at the wrong place at the wrong time could have cost you your life just like he’d said. Your mind went blank, as Miles had also mentioned it was dangerous for you to leave so late, and the guilt sunk in your gut.

“I-I'm sorry…” You stuttered softly as you looked at him with wide terrified eyes. “ know it was dangerous and reckless of me to go out at this time…i…really needed a swim…”

“Whoa, whoa, babe, hold up, right there…” He said with a bitter chuckle. “You went out because you wanted to swim? At midnight?”

You realised how bad your wording sounded as you cursed under your breath.

“Please, I-I…it's the only way I can deal with him being back…” You said. “I'm still sorry, though. You got hit because of me…”

“Don't” He cut you off. “You had nothing to do with me getting hit. I was careless, that guy knows how to fight…C'mon, let's take you home” He said as he stood up and walked towards you.

“What about your ribs?” You asked worried.

“I’ve been through worse, don’t worry” He tried to sooth you as he walked closer to you. “I’m gonna wrap an arm around your waist, and I need you to cling to me like a baby monkey or koala or small cute mammal of your preference…” He said as you looked at him and nodded softly as you wrapped your arms around his shoulders and you felt his arm snaking around your waist. “Please don’t scream, I’ve got sensitive senses…and when I’m swinging around people, they tend to yell and it’s pretty rough on my ear…”

You felt your heart skip a beat as he said “swing” so casually, as if it were the same as riding a bike or getting on the subway. You nodded.

“Ye-yeah…”

“If you’re scared of heights, you can close your eyes too” He added and your first reaction was to hide your face against his neck, as you felt him chuckle underneath the mask. “Ok, I’m gonna jump now, ready?”

“No, not really…” You whispered. “But go ahead…” You purred as his arm around you tightened and he jumped.

You felt the gravity pulling your stomach to the ground, and the wind hitting your body, as you felt the swinging of your gym bag on your shoulder and you cursed under your breath as you clung desperately to Peter, wrapping your legs around his waist in an attempt to feel more secure.

“Hey, you’re good. You’re doing good. Hang in there, your place is not far from here…” He chuckled. “You’re doing pretty good, most people yell, others cry, once I had a guy telling me he was getting nauseous and…it was not pretty” He joked trying to distract you from the pull and gravity with each of his swings.

You heard him grunting softly in pain every time he let go of his web before shooting a new one.

“This sucks!” You cried out as he laughed.

“I do this on a daily…” He said softly as you felt a sudden turn and your grip around him tightened. “Almost there” He purred as you kept cursing under your breath, hearing Peter’s amusement.

You felt him abruptly stop as you looked away from his neck and opened your eyes, noticing he was sticking to the wall next to the fire escape.

“We’re here…” He purred softly as he got on the small balcony and put you down.

Feeling weak, you stumbled and grabbed the ladder and dropped your gym bag looking through your window into your dark room.

“Thanks..” You whispered almost asking yourself how did he know the fire escape was right next to your window, but you remembered a few days ago he’d gone into your room after you saw Gal outside the Coffee Pot.

“Can I ask you something?” He purred as you turned around and looked at him, noticing the details in his mask.

"Yeah" You purred.

"What gave it away?" He purred softly, as you stared into his mask, wondering how clearly could he see with that over his eyes.

"Your corkboard," You replied softly "You have my note…" You chuckled as it took Peter a second to know what you were talking about "I can't believe you actually found my note" It was a simple thing, the only note he had was MJ’s.

"So, the MJ is Mark Jensen?" He replied. "Like the main character from your novel?"

"Mark Jensen is my self insert in my own novel…I feel braver writing under his name…" You admitted shyly, feeling weird as you'd never talked about the MJ thing with anyone who wasn't your roommates or Lauren.

"You are brave. Always have been…You don't have to sign under his name…" He said, his voice softening "But I get the whole hiding and staying anonymous part…"

"Thanks" You murmured as you scanned his mask, and leaned forward.

Peter read your movement and leaned forward as well, pressing his forehead to yours. His mind spinning erratically as his wild ideas and fantasies of you being MJ were true. You were MJ. He thought of the chances, the other two Spidermen having an MJ of their own, and although the multiverse theory explained his universe the existence of an MJ was random, and said MJ to eventually get involved with him was also random, he'd been feeling weirdly hopeful of having one of his own. Mostly because he craved that tender intimate human interaction. After he met you, well, his obsession over searching for MJ ceased, at least until he started noticing the pattern between the both of you. And this was because you seemed to correspond to his feelings. And if that was the case, then finding MJ was meaningless with you in the picture. Although, you being MJ made him think of his parallel version, and thinking how he too had an MJ.

"How long have you've known?" He asked, as he wondered if he should take his mask off now that you knew the truth.

"Since 5:27 pm…" You said as he frowned softly and recalled what he was doing at the time.

"We were in my apartment" He chuckled as he pulled away, and ran a finger over the edge of his mask.

"Yeah…I saw the note I left on the bridge after you asked me who I was…What about you?" You purred as you stared at his fingers lingering on the edge.

"Like…a minute or so ago…" He chuckled as he looked down "I had my very strong suspicions for a while…of you being MJ…but if you saw the note you saw the other stuff…" He groaned embarrassed.

“I did…” You chuckled softly as he sighed.

“Yeah…man, it's creepy, I'm sorry you had to see that…I swear I'm not that creepy” He chuckled awkwardly as you shook your head.

“That’s the spirit of a true journalist…” You added.

“I’m a photographer, not a journalist…” He chuckled.

You looked at him and extended your pinky finger towards him. Looking down at your hand, he chuckled softly.

"What?" He asked slightly confused.

"I'll keep yours if you keep mine" You purred softly as Peter looked up and you felt his gaze on yours through his mask.

"I thought that went without saying…" He purred softly as he stretched his hand and wrapped his pinky with yours.

The both of you stayed silent, as he stared into your hands and leaned forward. He bumped his forehead to yours as you felt his breath through his mask.

"Hey, I know you've had a hell of a day…but, if I asked you if I can kiss you…what would you say?" He purred, his heart in his throat as he thought how much he'd been dying to kiss you, but every time he saw his chance to do it, in some way or the other, you weren't in the right headspace.

"If I hadn't had a hell of a day, I'd say yes…" You purred. "But…I'm scared…Gal is back…I'm pretty sure he's stalking me, and it scares me…"

“Hey, I'll watch over you…I won't let him lay a finger on you” He murmured as you closed your eyes and sighed deeply.

“That's not it. It's about what he's already done…besides,” You stopped, feeling nervous just by thinking of Gal “I'm worried that he might try to scare you away…” You said.

“He can try all he wants, I’ve dealt with far crazier and scarier people than him…” He purred trying to lift you up, although he noticed your concerned look did not change. “Hey, I like you…I really do” At this, you smiled softly and looked at him.

“I like you too Peter…” You sighed “but Gal is not just some jealous ex…He is a psycho…and I don't mean that in a hyperbolic kinda way…” You murmured as Peter finally pulled up his mask and stared at you, his eyes reflecting his concern, one you could not see through his mask “I mean, the guy seriously has some serious issues in his head…”

“I'm sorry…” He purred.

“He did so many horrible things, and every time I tried to call him on his actions…he manipulated me, gaslighted me…into taking his side…” You stopped as you felt an odd lump on your throat and closed your eyes.

“Hey, it's alright…” He purred as he cupped your face in his hands “You don't have to tell me…”

“I know, but I want you to know who you're dealing with…” You murmured as you met his stare. “The amount of power he had over me was…gross…” Your eyes teared up as you sighed and closed your eyes, trying to keep your tears from falling “He turned me into someone I’m not…Every time I tried breaking up with him, he managed to make me feel guilty as if I was the one doing things wrong…And I let it happen constantly for three long years…”

When your tears finally fell from your cheeks, Peter pulled you in for a hug as you buried your face in his neck, clinging to him as you sighed deeply, trying to calm yourself down.

“I'm so, so, sorry…” He purred your name, his voice soothing your nerves as you shrugged.

“It's fine…” You sighed, still tangled in his embrace “I mean, it's already in the past…

“I'll watch over you, okay?” He said breaking the hug and cupping your face again, his sincere dark eyes looking into yours “Whatever that guy is capable of, I'll still be several steps ahead”

“Why? Because you're Spiderman?” You replied softly trying to pull a cheeky smirk.

“I bet he won't see it coming,” he joked. "Cmon, you've got to sleep” he purred bumping his forehead to yours again as you nodded.

“Yeah…” You purred as you pulled away and turned around, opening your window and throwing your gym bag inside your room and ready to get in when Peter’s voice pulled your gaze back to him.

“See you tomorrow?”

“You're going to the Coffee Pot tomorrow?” You asked.

“Have you seen the barista? Real charming real smart, always gets the coffee just right…” He said as his smile spread on his face “Do you think Andy is single?” He joked making you laugh, not expecting that punchline.

“No, I'm sorry, he's been officially  taken for about 3 weeks” You replied as Peter faked a frustrated groan.

“Ah, shoot. I'm late…” He chuckled. “Goodnight…" he purred your name sweetly as he pulled his mask over his face again.

“Goodnight, Spiderman” You purred as you got inside your room and watched him jumping off the fire escape and shooting a web at the building next to yours.

With both your secret identities out, as well as your feelings for each other, you spent most of your shift anticipating Peter’s visit with a tender anxiety building in your stomach, reminiscent of when you were a teenager with a silly little crush and butterflies in your stomach. And every time you heard the bell chiming a new customer's arrival, you'd look up at once, hoping to see Peter walking through.

And when he finally showed up, you felt your heart skip a beat, as well as your lungs stopping as you watched him walking in with a small bouquet of flowers as you gave him the kind of look you'd always gave him when he insisted on paying for his coffee when you told him it was on you.

The flowers gained not only the customer's attention, but your coworkers as well, as you felt the knowing look of your friends. Peter approached the bar with a cheeky smirk as your cheeks got pink and hot.

"Peter…" You sighed.

"Yeah?" He asked with a feign innocent voice "Oh, these? I found them" He said, oh so casually.

"Yeah, right…" You replied, squinting your eyes.

"I swear!" He chuckled "Outside of my apartment. They were just there and I thought…I don't have a vase to put them in…"

"What makes you think I do have a vase?" You chuckled as you played along.

"Oh, come on!" He giggled.

You walked towards him and grabbed the flowers and placed them on the bar next to the cash register and then hugged him. Tenderly wrapping your arms around him and buried your face in his chest, you felt your cheeks tickling and feeling everyone's stares on you. But by this point, you didn’t care, you were too into Peter, and knowing he liked you back, made you want to show it off to the world proudly like a badge.

“Thank you,” You whispered, breaking the hug. “They're beautiful…” You said

“Hey, do you wanna do something after your shift?” He asked as you met his stare and frowned softly.

“I…actually have to go back home after work…” You explained, looking down “Miles is going through a rough time right now…” You purred as Peter opened his mouth and his face went blank.

“O-oh…” He purred softly as he remembered seeing the news this morning, talking about how Spiderman had caught a guy going by the name of The Prowler, and the man behind the mask. Peter remembered feeling like his stomach fell to the floor when he saw none other than Aaron Davis was the man behind The Prowler.

The man who helped him get his freelance career started, he who had taught him how everything works, how to set prices, and tips on when and who to work with. And most importantly, Miles’s uncle. Miles’s uncle and somehow the favourite person of everyone in your apartment. Peter realised the irony behind the citation, although it made all the sense in his mind. Aaron was kind to all of you and apparently had helped you a lot with many different things. As well as The Prowler wanting those enhanced guns out of Queens. He wanted those things out of Queens since people he cared about lived here.

“ Surviving in New York is hard, isn’t it? ” You had told Peter once, shortly after meeting him.

“Yeah…” He replied, his mind deviating a little bit. “Tomorrow?” He asked with a shrug.

“Sure, tomorrow sounds good…” You purred as you heard the doorbell chiming softly as you grabbed the flowers from the bar and took them to the small table where you kept your laptop on, and walked behind the bar, ready to take the next order when you looked up and your world stopped still.

Peter noticed the way you suddenly got stiff and even heard the way your heart stopped for a second before it started rushing, as if you were running a marathon. He turned and saw a guy walking in, as he stopped before the bar. His grin spread into his eyes as his stare was fixed on you. There was something odd about his demeanour, thought Peter as he looked at you and saw you, your eyes wide and alert and your jaw clenched as Peter needed little to no effort to put the pieces together.

“Hey, long time no see” He said in a low voice as he kept his eyes fixed on you.

“What are you doing here?” You replied bitterly.

The guy looked away, meeting Peter’s stare as his smile faded away. He’d seen the flowers and the hug from the other side of the glass doors and immediately knew Peter and you were close.

“Hey, I’m Gallagher,” He said in a cool voice, stretching his hand to Peter as he simply looked at it. “Loonie Toonie and I go back a long way”

“Gal” You hissed.

“We talked on the phone the other day” Peter replied, returning the sassy smile.

“Oh, so you’re the over protective boyfriend?” Gal chuckled as Gal had to look slightly up to meet Peter’s gaze, as Peter was taller than him.

“Did you come here to get coffee or just to bother me?” You barked.

“I came here to say hi, my darling” He said, Peter taking note of the way your body shivered at the disgusting pet name. “It’s been a long while since we last saw each other, I thought it be fun to catch up–”

“I made it pretty clear I did not want to hear from you again” You cut him off.

“You told me to kill myself, but don’t worry, I’m over it now. I forgive you” He said, his voice softening as Peter opened his eyes in surprise not expecting that to come out.

“I think you should leave, man,” Peter hissed defensively. “You’re clearly upsetting her” Peter said as he got between the wooden bar and Gal, getting you off his sight field.

“You don’t get to choose for her, man” Gal growled.

“ You don’t get to choose for me either. Get the fuck out, Gal” You barked. “I am not interested in catching up with you. Not now, not ever” You snapped moving to a side so you could look at him, Gal’s face widening in surprise.

“I want to talk to you” He said.

“I don’t. Go”

During the interaction, you were too busy staying alert of what Gal did, you did not notice Andy sneaking into the backroom to get your manager, who luckily happened to be there as he usually spent a day at a different coffee shop from the same chain.

“Sir, I will have to ask you to leave, you’re upsetting my employee” Your manager said in a firm voice as he stood next to Peter.

“Who the hell do you think you are” Gal chuckled sassily as he looked at the man now standing in front of him.

“The manager of this place.” He replied dryly. “Leave before I call the police”

“Is this how you treat your customers? You must have a full five star review on the internet” Gal scoffed.

“Only those who harass my staff. Now, leave” He said raising his voice, as Gal glared at him with cold threatening eyes as he turned around and left.

As soon as you saw him walk out, you sighed deeply and leaned against the kitchenette behind you, feeling your heart beating in your ears and your eyes finally teared up instantly, as you’d been fighting the urge to cry with him there. Peter noticed and quickly got to your side, completely ignoring the silent rule of no customers being behind the bar.

“Thank you, Roald,” Andy said.

“Are you alright, kiddo?” Roald asked as he turned around and saw you sobbing silently against your mouth as you shook your head no and Peter pulled you in for a tight hug as you immediately clung to him desperately looking for comfort.

“N-no…” You sobbed softly as you held on to Peter for balance.

“I’m so sorry…” He purred. “Who was that?”

“Abusive ex” Andy replied with a tired sigh as Roald looked at him, his expression growing five times more concerned over the span of a second.

“You should contact the police…” He said.

“Ye-yeah…” You murmured.

“Go home,” Roald added, whispering your name softly. “Your shift is over in a couple of hours anyways, go home and rest” He purred, calling you by your name as you broke the hug, without letting go of Peter.

“What?” You purred.

“Go home”

“Bu-but…”

“You're shaking, you’re crying, you’re pale…” He sighed, cutting you off with a gentle voice “And clearly you’re upset… Andy and I can hold down the fort, don’t worry” Your boss reassured you. “Besides, I don’t remember the last time you called in sick, c’mon”

“Loonie, you can’t work like this,” Andy said.

“Let me walk you home…” Peter purred softly as he rubbed your back softly and kissed your head.

Reluctantly, you nodded and went to your table, putting away your laptop and grabbing the small bouquet of flowers. Peter grabbed your backpack, carrying it for you as the two of you walked out. Peter replayed the thing in his head, as you continued to silently sob, cleaning your tears with your sleeve. He didn’t know how to comfort you after what had happened, besides having so many questions regarding the whole scene.

“Can I ask what…happened there?” He purred softly, aware of your body language, in case you didn’t want to talk about it. “C’mon, talk to me…Perhaps I can help?”

“What exactly? You were there…” You sighed softly. “I told you, Gal is crazy…”

Peter looked at you, eyebrows furrowing not sure how to phrase his next question, but still making too much noise in his head it was hard to ignore.

“He said…” He cleared his throat and looked away awkwardly. “...You told him to kill himself?”

You sighed deeply and stopped walking and looked at him.

“He’s taking it out of…context…” You purred.

“Out of…context?” He said surprised as he called your name confused.. “What the hell does that mean? Please be honest with me”

“Peter I– I didn’t tell him that. He thinks I did…it’s a long story” You sighed as you looked into his eyes. “I went to Yale for a year. I got a scholarship I could not let down…” You began as Peter gasped.

“You went to Yale ?” He asked, quite impressed as he noticed the weird pattern he had for falling for the seemingly smart and nerdy girl who managed to get opportunities not everyone could.

“Yeah…I was dating Gal at the time…we moved in together during this time, that’s when things started getting bad …” You continued ignoring his question about Yale “He manipulated me, he made me things I’m not proud of, I isolated myself from everyone but him…Dropped out of school…He cheated on me…” You listed as Peter looked at you growing concerned about everything that had happened in those three years. “One day Miles went to my apartment in New Haven…He basically took me away from there, telling me Gal was a living breathing red flag. Which I kinda knew but was too afraid to admit at the time…”

Miles being the one to take you away from such a situation suddenly made sense considering how close you were to him, and the way you seemed to trust him with everything you’ve got. The way he was always there in family events and in most of your stories. He was not only a childhood friend, he pulled you out from such a messy situation.

“Miles basically took me to live with him, I…” You continued as you started walking again, looking at the floor. “Gal once sent me a text saying he loved me and he needed me and that without me he had nothing. And that I had nothing without him…He told me if I didn’t come back, he was going to kill himself…” You said as Peter sighed deeply.

“Jesus, that’s sick” He purred.

“Miles saw the text…” You said looking at him. “He didn’t tell me about it until much later. Miles replied, pretending it was me, saying if I stayed with him, I was going to end up killing myself. Sent the text, blocked him, deleted the conversation…He got me a new number, in case Gal tried to contact me again…Miles didn’t tell me about the text like eight months later…” You said as Peter grabbed your hand and stopped you.

“Wow, I’m so sorry…” He purred looking into your eyes as he pulled you closer to him and wrapped his arms around you, holding you tightly.  “I still can’t believe you went to Yale…” He added, trying to lift up the tense atmosphere, and managing to make you chuckle softly.

“Yeah…” You purred. “My parents kinda got mad at Lauren for wanting to pursue her music, and I told my parents I’d support Lauren financially if they worried about her having an income…So, I tried to shove it in their noses, and study in a prestigious school, go to med school, become a doctor like my dad, and…you know…go big or go home…” You purred as you broke the hug and cleaned the leftover tears on your eyes.

“You literally went home” Peter joked as you smiled and nodded, giggling softly between sniffs.

“Yeah, I did…” You purred. “But, Lauren told me it’s fine, she’s been able to make a living off The Fool’s Journey…and I’m managing through the coffee shop and MJ…”

“Hey, you’re doing an amazing job so far…” Peter said softly as he kept trying to lift you up. “You look pretty satisfied with your life, and not anyone can say that about their own…” He purred, leaning forward as he planted a gentle kiss on your forehead.

“Thank you, Peter…” You muttered.

As you two exchanged sweet stares, he grabbed your hand, entwining your fingers with his and kept walking towards your apartment.

As you two made it to your place, you walked into the apartment, which was normally lasting with Miles’s music as he worked on some new project or commission. This time, silence, and just the soft echo of the news playing in the background as you noticed not a single light was lit, despite the sun almost setting behind the ocean.

Miles sat up from the couch he was lying on and turned around, seeing you and Peter there, noticing your puffy face and knowing right away something had happened.

“Hey, what's wrong?” He asked, jumping out of the couch and approaching you.

“Gal showed up at The Coffee Pot today” You sighed tiredly as Miles’s mouth fell open.

“He fucking what?” He asked.

“Her manager got him out…” Peter said at once as Miles looked at Peter and then back at you.

“I’m so sorry, sis” He purred in a low voice and hugged you tightly. “Guess we both have to have shitty days, huh?” He purred with a bitter chuckle.

“We can be miserable together”  You murmured as you rested your cheek on his shoulder.

“Yeah, we can…” He chuckled.

You two remained hugging for a few seconds before breaking the hug, and you saw in Miles’s eyes a heavy silent burden. You still didn’t know what had Miles so worked up, and wanted to help him so badly, but you knew it was better to let Miles open up on his own.

“Should I…leave you guys?” Peter asked awkwardly, feeling like a strange third wheel despite you and Miles functioning more like siblings.

“No, I-I think we should…have a functioning person…in case..you know..whatever…” Miles said softly as he looked at Peter, attempting to smile through his still shocked face.

“Can I do something for you guys?” Peter asked.

“Keep us company?” You purred as you looked at him.

“Yeah” Miles added.

“Sure” Peter nodded as you looked back at Miles.

“So, what's wrong Miles?” You asked concerned as he’d texted you earlier he wasn’t doing so great and he needed some company for the afternoon, but didn’t go into any details.

“You haven't seen the news?” Miles chuckled bitterly as he grabbed his phone and unlocked it, scrolling through twitter.

“Haven't seen shit, nor checked my phone all day long…why?” You asked intrigued as Miles opened a link and showed you his screen as you read a headline ‘The Prowler Forgot The Meaning Of His Name’ followed by a brief description of what the police found on the streets, right where you’d been the night before, watching everything from the top of a building.

“Aaron got arrested…” Miles said as you looked up and met his stare, your eyes widening in horror.

“What?” You murmured, your voice barely audible and you looked down at the article on Miles’s phone as you read and scrolled, not playing as much attention as you wanted, since the news hit you like a cold bucket of water.

“Yeah…Spiderman got… caught …him…apparently he was some sort of bad guy…going by the name of The Prowler…” He said as your blood turned cold as Miles spoke and the words in his screen started making sense, connecting to the bits of your own memories. The purple guy Peter had caught and made him suspended from his web.

Your gaze returned to Miles as his own stare looked lost and unfocused. His shoulders were shaking lightly and you could tell Miles was struggling to keep himself collected. He opened his mouth to say something but nothing came out of it, as you saw Miles’s eyes tearing up. He closed his eyes and shook his head as he returned to the living room without saying anything. He laid on the couch and grabbed the x-box controller, turning the console on.

“I’m gonna go get some juice…want something from the kitchen, Miles?” You sighed softly, feeling sorry for him, knowing how much Aaron meant to Miles, and from the look in his eyes, you could tell Miles was deeply disappointed and perhaps even betrayed by Aaron.

“Some juice as well…” He purred in a low defeated voice. The echo hurt your heart as you nodded.

As you headed to the kitchen, you gently tugged on Peter’s sleeve, looking at him with puppy eyes. He got the message without you having to say anything as he silently followed you into the kitchen. His hand reached yours, as you entwined your fingers with his and gave his hand a gentle squeeze, finding comfort in his gesture.

You stopped in front of the fridge and turned around, letting go of Peter’s hand and staring into him worried.

“Can I talk to you?” You purred in a barely audible voice.

Peter nodded silently, knowing what you wanted to talk about.

“You knew?” You murmured, your eyebrows furrowing. He shook his head.

“No, I didn’t. Not until this morning when I saw it on the news…” He answered in a low voice as well to keep Miles from listening.

“Well,” You sighed and turned around, opening the fridge and taking the juice. “You still did the right thing…” You added.

“I do feel a bit guilty about it…” Peter said as he looked at the TV in the living room, as Miles started playing something colourful and over all cheerful, perhaps trying to keep his mind busy from what happened.

“You did what you had to do…” You replied as you grabbed a couple of glasses from the cupboard. “Do you want something to drink?” You asked, catching Peter’s attention.

“I-I…n-no. I’m fine...Thanks…” He replied softly as you nodded and poured juice in both glasses before taking the juice back to its original place.

You walked back to the living room, followed by Peter, as you handed Miles his glass and spoke softly.

“Juice”  You announced as Miles looked at you and sat up, taking the glass.

“Thanks…” He muttered and looked at you, as you sat on the couch next to where he was seated, and Peter sat next to you, particularly close to our, hips against each other, and your shoulders touching, Miles shook his head and sighed. “Hell of a day huh? I find out Aaron has been lying about how he makes money…turns out he’s some supervillain or whatever…Gal shows up at your work…”

“Cheers to the best day in history, hey?” You said sarcastically as you raised your glass at him, and Miles chuckled.

“Cheers” Miles laughed softly and took a sip. “At least we’ve got each other…” He said looking at you and smiling, as you smiled back and nodded.

“We do…” You muttered.

Miles went back to playing Stardew Valley, as you snuggled on the couch next to Peter, resting your cheek on his shoulder as he wrapped an arm around you, keeping you close, close to his warm body. After staying silent for a while, the sun at some point had set behind the horizon and now the apartment was only lighted by the TV. At least until Miles stopped playing and sat up.

“I’m going to take a nap…I’m falling asleep…plus I ain't feeling it today…” He sighed tiredy as he turned off the x-box and got up, walking to his room and turning the light above the living room.

“Go get some sleep…” You said as Miles waved as he disappeared behind his bedroom door.

“Don’t let me sleep more than two hours…” He announced as he walked out, leaning against the door frame. “Or else I’ll be waking up at 3 am and won’t be able to get any sleep…” You chuckled.

“We’ll wake you up, don't worry man” Peter said smiling softly at Miles as Miles nodded with a sly smirk.

“Thanks guys…” Miles said and went back inside his room, not even bothering to turn on any lights.

You snuggled back against Peter, burying your face in his chest, as you took a deep breath, feeling his smell and warmth all around him, as you realised how comfortable and safe you felt being so close to him. You stopped and wondered how long had you two been friends now…A few months? In the beginning it all felt like it was unfolding so fast, but now, it felt as if you’d known him for so long. Feeling his arms tightening gently around you brought you back from the depths of your thoughts as you felt your heart race slightly.

“Thank you” You whispered.

“For what?”

It took you a few seconds to reply, as you were more focused on how he was making you feel and his question almost slipped your attention.

“For staying…” You answered.

“I mean, you guys asked me to…” He replied as you pulled away and looked at him, your eyes still a bit puffy and tired from everything that had happened, as Peter saw his reflection in your glassy orbs, wishing he could fix all the damage Gal had left.

“I still appreciate it…” You said as you saw Peter smile and look away shyly.

“Can I tell you something?” He said, his voice lifting up a little bit, as you looked at him curiously.

“Yes, of course…”

Peter bit his lower lip softly, not sure how to bring up his thoughts. He looked at you with tender eyes and a cheeky smile, as he blushed lightly. He was well aware of how your feelings for each other were now in the open, and you seemed to correspond to them, but still, addressing them made him feel funny inside. He took a deep breath and looked away as he decided to bite the bullet.

“I’m kinda very, incredibly pissed at Gal…” He chuckled awkwardly as he looked at you. “Every time I think I’ll finally get a chance to kiss you, he sticks his nose and completely blows my chance…” He chuckled.

“Tell me about it, I’m also mad at him” You chuckled as you snuggled back against his chest.

“You stayed pretty collected earlier…” Peter purred as he gently rubbed your back with his hand.

“Yeah, I’m not sure how that happened…” You sighed.

“Hey, it doesn’t matter. You did it, and you’re great for doing so…” He comforted you, gently kissing your head and burying his face against your hair.

“Thank you, Peter…” You purred as you looked up at him, your nose gently brushed his chin as you closed your eyes, craving the kiss that had been delayed so much.

“Hey, I’m in no rush…If you’re waiting for the right time, I’m happy to wait too…” He purred as he brought his hand up, brushing your cheek with his fingers before cupping your face in his hand.

“I’m done waiting” You muttered as you leaned forward as Peter shook his head and slowly pulled away.

“Hmm, I'd rather not do this while you're pissed at your psychotic ex…” He purred, bringing his other hand to your face as he pressed his forehead to yours. “I really want to enjoy it and savour it…” He purred.

“Alright, fair…” You sighed as you closed your eyes and sighed, feeling slightly disappointed, although you could understand why he’d prefer to wait longer.

“I’m sorry” Peter said with a small smile as you looked at him and you shook your head.

He kissed your forehead sweetly and cuddled you as you looked for something to watch on Netflix, mostly to fill in the silence as the two of you remained tangled and close to each other. As the movie soon faded into background noise, you weren’t paying any attention and mostly focused on the way his warmth radiated through his clothes and into your body as you seemed to melt against him. God, this felt just right. This felt as good as very few things in life.

After a while his phone vibrated as he excused himself and used one of his arms to pull it out of his pocket. As he unlocked it, you watched him open an app with a very odd design, and upon a closer look  at the screen, you saw it was some sort of app that picked up on emergency lines and live locations where patrols were sent.

“What’s that…?” You asked curiously as you saw Peter focusing on his phone.

“I…uh,” He chuckled awkwardly. “An app I designed myself…” He said as if it was nothing as you stared at him surprised.

“You what?” You asked and raised an eyebrow as he looked at you and blushed lightly before he chuckled awkwardly.

“I may have hacked the emergency phone lines…” He said, clearing his throat.

“Come again?” You asked incredulously as he chuckled.

“Y’know…for my… other job” He purred as you kept staring at him.

“No yeah I got that..” You chuckled “It’s just…wow, that’s impressive” You acknowledged and nodded your head, staring at him as you pulled away, thinking he’d perhaps go take care of whatever his phone notified him of.

“Thanks…” He said as he stood up and you two exchanging knowing looks, as he realised he didn’t have to say anything, as you picked up on it yourself. “See you tomorrow?” He purred.

“Yeah, sure. I’d like that… “ You purred, smiling softly at him as he nodded as he walked to your bedroom and instinctively, you followed him.

As you walked inside your room, a few steps behind him, you noticed him changing into his Spiderman suit. You blushed lightly, although you didn’t get too see much of him, aside from his toned back soon disappearing under the red and blue suit. As he turned around and looked at you, you got a better view of him in his suit, compared to last night, when you saw him take off his mask although the dim street lights didn’t do much. This time, upon seeing him clearly, inside your room, it looked pretty surreal, Peter’s face coming out of the iconic suit. And knowing he was Spiderman.

As he approached your window, he was ready to pull the mask over his face. When you spoke.

“Hey,” Your voice stopped him as he turned around and looked at you with an attentive gentle stare. “Stay safe…” You purred, the concern in your voice making Peter’s heart melt as he looked into your eyes and nodded.

“Yeah, of course…” He purred sweetly as he looked at you with a particular adoration.

“And text me when you get home…even if its at 3 am”

The way you seemed to worry about him made his heart feel full. The way he constantly fantasised of having something stable, a warm home to return to, with someone waiting for him to receive him with open arms and a tight hug, to comfort him, to tell him he’d done a great job, now didn’t seem so wild and distant now. Even if you lived in different apartments, the fact that you were looking out for him, and telling him to take care was a good first step for him to finally get what he’d been craving oh so desperately.

He walked closer to you, as his hands immediately latched on to you, cupping your face as he bumped his forehead to yours. Caught in the moment, he had to stop you, his nose brushing yours as he sighed. He thought, if he kissed you now, there was no way in hell he was going to be able to drag himself out that window to fulfil his duty as the friendly neighbourhood Spiderman. He sighed deeply and looked up, pressing his lips to your forehead.

“Thank you for watching over me…” He purred, his lips still pressed against your forehead before he planted another kiss and pulled away. “You’re amazing” Peter purred before putting his mask on and finally leaving through the window into the fire escape as he jumped and started swinging, soon disappearing in the distance as you watched attentively, you heart wild and erratic in your chest as you thought how much of a lost cause you were.

You were in love with Spiderman.

~~~~

Thank you so much for reading! Likes and comments are very well appreciated!

Taglist (open): If you’d like to be added to the tag list, let me know!

@abibliophobiaa @andrewgarfield2022 @edgycatx @lendeluxe @darlingbravebelle @lauraneedstochill @tagakalat @jenoslov @kdatthecastle @natt9598 @jannieka394 @ouralcohol@fandomscombine @teenwolfgirl90

[atalho-s]

Light Up The Dark

Part 2 | We are accidents waiting to happen

pairing: bartender!tom x famous!reader

warnings: smut +18 miniors dni, swear words?, drinking, let me know if anything else!

words: 5.0 k

a/n: english it’s not my first language, so i’m sorry for any mistake! I don’t have a taglist yet, but if you want to be tagged in the next chapters let me know!! 

PART 2 if you want to read part 1 click here! 

It was already Saturday. The day Y/n took for herself. Writing was extraordinary, but she loved having a day off to take care of herself. She spent the day doing things she enjoyed, whether it was lying in bed watching a movie or trying to cook something.

After the fateful day of writer's block she started writing like crazy, so she didn't feel guilty about taking a day off without thinking about her characters and how they would get out of the challenges she had created for them.

The fateful day. For some reason she kept thinking about that damned Brit with that accent. For a moment she'd been scared that she'd been seen by paparazzi hanging out with the mysterious bartender, or even some picture of him leaving her apartment. But nothing came out in the news on the gossip sites, which made her relieved.

As much as she deserved to have fun once in a while and wasn't doing anything wrong, she still didn't want to bring attention to herself and even less to a guy who wasn't even famous. She was afraid to put anyone who wasn't famous in the media. Fear that one day suddenly, this person might be persecuted because of her.

Anyway, it had just been a crazy night. Nothing much. And she didn't intend to see him again. So she had nothing to worry about.

Sitting down in the kitchen counter with her familiar cup of coffee she got lost in some thoughts. Why hadn't she stopped thinking about him ever since? It had been a great night, but that was all. She didn't even know him well.

Maybe it was because her creative block had been broken after being with him. But obviously it was just a coincidence. She had just felt inspired after a distraction.

She shook his head away from the thoughts and placed the cup in the sink. She took a deep breath and thought about what to do next. But before she could think of anything else her cell phone started ringing on the counter. She was almost jump by the sudden sound, seeing the screen indicating that it was Milla, her agent, who had become one of her best friends.

- Hi Mil! - she said after sliding the screen.

- Good morning baby. - she said on the other end of the line. - Ready for the party?

- Party? What a party? - Y/n asked confused starting to wash the small amount ofdishes she had soiled.

- How you don't know? I thought I sent you the invitation on your email and I even sent you a message!

- Bestie, I haven't seen my email or message for days. I was super focused on the book, my writer's block finally went away.

- Really? I knew that would go away! You were worried for nothing. What did you do to go back to writing? - Milla asked and Y/n smiled a little.

- Well... I just went out to chill out a bit...Nothing much.

- Y/n getting out on weekdays? And even on the days you're writing a book? That's what I call grow. - she said and Y/n rolled her eyes laughing. - I'm even afraid to invite you to parties, because I know when you're writing you hate to go out... But it's good to know that you're getting out of your routine a little...

- Yeah, sometimes it's good to breathe new air. - Y/n replied drying his hands on a towel. - But what party are you talking about?

- A party of none other than Emma Brown. - Y/n snorted. Emma Brown was a great actress who to tell the truth she didn't know much, she only knew her from a couple of her movies, but other than that she didn't know much about her.

But what she did know was that she had some also famous friends of questionable taste. They were those famous people who only knew about money, women, cars and mansions. But she was tipped for a theatrical adaptation of one of her books and she wanted everything to come out perfect. She was very afraid the movie would end up ruining her work.

- Do I really have to go? - She asked in a tearful voice.

- Yes you have! It's going to be a really fancy birthday party for her, all the famous people in the industry are going to be there. You know you have to socialize with these people. Who knows, you can make some important friendships...

- Milla... I don't know... I don't need important friendships. I don't need anyone to stand up or approach others for interest.

- I know you don't need anyone for that... I just meant that you're very isolated, you need to make connections, understand? I know it's hard because you hate all that fame and stuff. But if you want the adaptation of your story to be good, there's no way... Besides, one of the great directors you left me on the list to research will be there too. So it would be really cool to kill two birds with one stone. - Milla said and Y/n sighed. She was right, if she wanted everything to work out she had to at least have a conversation with these people. It would be weird to refuse Emma's invitation to her birthday. It would just show that she was uninterested.

- Okay... You won ok? - She said and Milla gave an excited squeal. - But I won't stay long!

- Okay, okay... Just for you to go is great! Andrew will be there shortly for you to choose a dress. -Andrew was her stylist and she practically jumped every time Y/n had an important event, because it was rare for her to go. Good thing he didn't just have her as a client, because otherwise he'd be bored out of his mind for a long time.

- Okay Mil, thank you... I love you! - She said and Milla said goodbye hanging up the phone.

It was late afternoon when Andrew arrived at her apartment with several suitcases and bags in both hands. He really had brought up thousands of options. But Y/n ended up choosing a slightly shiny black dress that went just above the knee with a V-neck. Something cute, but nothing too fancy.

He did her makeup. Which wasn't too heavy either, as she hated things that were too heavy on her face. Finally she put on a mid-heeled sandal in the same color as the dress and her sparkly earrings. Before Andrew left her apartment satisfied with the result.

It was almost 7:30 pm when a black car that would take her to the party location arrived in front of her building and she got out enter the backseat right after. She was apprehensive. She hated socializing to tell the truth. Large crowds and cameras really made her anxious.

After almost 20 minutes the car stopped in front of what appeared to be a large gate. Several paparazzi showed up and started taking pictures of her car surrounding her or even tapping on the window a little, asking her if she could talk to them. Which she obviously ignored. The driver introduced himself to the doorman and he opened the gate letting the car pass and stop in front of a luxurious mansion.

Some people were coming in and others were standing in front talking. She saw that there were some familiar faces of the media. Actresses, actors, singers, famous people of every imaginable type.

She opened the car door and walked out towards the large entrance. She smiled at a few people, nodding her head as she passed and found herself in a crowd of people as she entered the place. There really were a lot of people, despite the place being even bigger inside. Many with fancy drinks in hand and chatting. A song playing on the background.

She walked deeper into the room and took a quick look around trying to find the birthday girl. After a few minutes she found her near one of the sofas. Y/n walked over and stopped beside her, causing Emma to stop her conversation with two more people and look at her.

- Happy Birthday! - Y/n said in the friendliest way possible and Emma smirked and hugged her lightly afterwards.

- Thank you! Glad you came! - she said, breaking out of the hug after a few seconds.

- Your party is very beautiful, I loved the decoration. - Y/n said looking around. Indeed Emma had decorated the place in a simple way, but at the same time fancy and beautiful.

- Oh thank you... - she said, still smiling. - I'm very happy that you accepted my invitation, we have a lot to talk about since maybe we'll work together, right?

- No problem, obviously I would come... - Y/n said and almost punched herself because she was very fake in saying that. - But we really have to talk!

- Well, I was talking to Jim just now... I can give you his number later... He's a great director and I think it would be great for your adaptation... - Emma said and Y/n thought that she was really interested in that adaptation, because she was even talking to the possible renowned director, which surprised her. She thought Emma was a little more oblivious to her books and even movie stuff. She thought she was one of those famous actresses who expected others to come after her, not being interested in the work itself, but only on the fame and money. - We love your book! I think it has great potential for a grand adaptation.

- Wow, that is good to hear! Thanks a lot! - Y/n said sincerely this time. - I'll love talking to him too...

- Sure! - She looked behind Y/n and motioned to someone from far away. - Hey Jim! You can come here? - She asked speaking loudly for him to hear and Y/n turned around watching the director approaching after saying goodbye to someone. He wasn't much older than she thought, maybe in his early thirties, he wore a small beard that fit his face and short hair, but with curls that jutted out around his head. -That's Y/n... Y/n that's Jim...-Emma said when he got in front of her and Jim held out his hand with a smile.

- Nice to meet Y/n, we finally met... - he said and Y/n shook his hand also smiling.

- Nice to meet you Jim! - She said and Emma sat in one of the armchairs indicating for the two to sit, which they did next.

- Do you two want something to drink? Champagne?- Emma asked and they both accepted as she motioned for someone from far away to bring them.

- Well, I found your book very intriguing Y/n... I can say I haven't slept for a while... - Jim said laughing a little and Y/n smiled. - It's a very well written story, I loved the plots and it has a great resolution. I think I would make a good 2 hour movie with all this material... - he said and Y/n paid attention until something took her a little out of focus. Something not. Somebody.

It was the waiter, and not just any waiter. It was Tom. He came into her vision and she couldn't believe what she was seeing. Maybe it was a mirage or she was mistaking him for someone else. But when he approached she was sure it was him. He came with a tray with drinks in one hand. He was wering a white dress shirt, with black pants. The typical pattern of a fancy party waiter. But he was beautiful. Y/n felt a shiver for a moment and tried to hide it by looking back at Jim who was still talking about his plans for the possible movie.

Maybe Tom didn't even remember her. She was just a one-night stand, he should do that with a lot of girls out there, so it wasn't something new to him. As soon as he arrived, he handed one of the glasses to Emma beside her and Y/n felt her breath quicken a little. She didn't know why she was so nervous. It was just a waiter she had slept with a few days ago.

- Excuse me... - he said and Y/n looked up at him quickly seeing that he was right in front of him. -Here it is miss...-he said looking her in the eyes and then winking at her, wich almost make her shrink in her chair. He held out the tray for her to take one of the glasses and she did, looking away at Jim.

- So, what do you think? - Jim asked taking the glass from the tray and Y/n took a sip of his surprise drink.

- Sorry? - She asked guiltily for having been distracted.

- About us meeting and having a meeting next week? That way I can show you my idea better. - he said and Y/n smiled.

- Of course, that would be great! - she said and Tom walked away not looking in her direction again, which left her disappointed for a second. She would going to love looking into those eyes again.

- Perfect! - Jim replied excitedly and started talking about other things as well as Emma.

They talked for almost an hour, until Emma went to talk to other people and Jim said he was leaving as he had some work in the morning. Y/n sat for a while and finished drinking the last of her champagne and placed it on the table in front of her.

She thought about leaving. She had already done the important interactions for the night. So, she had no reason to stay there. But she kept thinking about the damn waiter. Would it be weird to go talk to him? Maybe just say hi? But she doubted he would want to talk to her. Besides, he was working. She didn't want to get in his way.

Getting up from her chair and straightening her dress, she forced her steps towards the exit, but stopped midway as she saw Tom walking into what appeared to be the kitchen with the tray tucked under his arm. She looked at the exit door and sighed. Okay, if she went to him just to say hi, it wouldn't hurt would it?

Y/n turned and headed in the direction that Tom had gone. She couldn't even believe she was doing it this. She would looked ridiculous in his eyes. But she choose to ignore the little voice of reason again. Passing by a few people, and walking out into a empty hallway, she opening a single door at end. She closed in behind her and turned to see that Tom was on his back piling some boxes in a corner. His muscles in that outfit made her feel tempted somehow, so she swallowed hard. He turned at the sound of the door closing and looked at her with a mixture of confusion and curiosity.

- Looking for something madam? - He asked with a smirk.

- Actually... - Y/n thought of some excuse, maybe it would be better, so it would seem that she was there for something else and not for him. - Yeah... I was looking for the bathroom, I think I take the wrong direction...

- Yeah...Actually, the bathroom is on the other side of the hallway... - he said leaning against the kitchen counter and looking her up and down, making her feel completely vulnerable. After his eyes roamed her legs and bust, they came to her face and he grinned.

- Okay, I'll... - Y/n started saying and turned around taking a few steps. But she stopped midway, closing his eyes, tearing himself apart from the inside out of embarrassment. She turned around again seeing that he was still watching her, now with his arms crossed over his chest, wondering what she would do next. - You remember me don't you? - She asked fearfully.

- Of course I remember darling... - he said, practically intensifying his accent in that nickname that was so perfect in his voice. Y/n took a few steps forward also crossing her arms. - How could I forget the famous writer Y/n?- He raised an eyebrow and she rolled her eyes with his last sentence.

- It really was an...- She looked at her feet trying to find a word. - Interesting night… - she finally said and he chuckled, making her look up.

- Very interesting indeed... - he said putting his hands in his front pockets, pulling himself away from the counter and heading towards her. Y/n wanted to say goodbye and leave, run away as fast as possible. But she couldn't, every move he did was too tempting, so she just stood there watching him get closer and closer to her. He stopped in front of her and looked into her eyes, smiling slightly.

- What are you doing here? Do you work as a waiter at parties too? - Y/n asked curiously.

- My boss sometimes receives proposals for us to work at these rich parties... - he said with a shrug.

- Oh... Nice... - she said crossing her arms. - Well...Now I really have to go... - she said trying to get away from it one last time.

- Why did you really come here love? -Tom asked tilting his head a little to the side and she felt the hairs on the back of her neck stand up.

- I told you, I was looking for the bathroom. -Y/n looked at his face trying to be firm, but saw that he still wore that smirk. Why did he have to be so confident like that?

- Oh sure... Just like you also looked for some excuse that day for me to leave, but failed miserably?- he asked making a thoughtful face and she still hadn't decided if she wanted to slap him or kiss him.

- Why did you leave without saying goodbye tho? - She asked ignoring what he had said.

- So that's why you came after me? Are you hurt that I didn't leave you a goodbye kiss? - he said pouting.

- Of course not, I just... I don't know, it would be nice to say that you were leaving and that you wouldn't stay for breakfast... - Y/n said looking to the side, avoiding those brown eyes that intimidated her.

- Darling, I'm not that type guy, sorry...

- What type of guy? - she still avoided looking at him.

- The type who stay for breakfeast. -he said taking a hand from her pocket and taking her chin gently, making her look at him. - But if you want some fun I'm at your disposal. -he said and she bit her lower lip lightly making him deviate his eyes towards her lips. - Do you want darling?- he asked quietly and Y/n seemed to be transfixed by her touch. She was surrendered, she couldn't deny it. Maybe even hypnotized.

- I...- she said with a little shaky voice. - I don't know...

- Yes or no?- he asked looking from her lips to her eyes and she felt her breath getting heavy.

- Yes...- she just spoke as a whisper and he smiled satisfied.

- How about you meet me in 15 minutes in the bathroom of the pool house? - He said and she just shook her head slowly. Tom released her chin and backed away slowly, not taking his eyes off her, and then walked away leaving her alone with her heart racing.

Y/n took a deep breath and tried to place herself in what had just happened. Did she really want this? Her mind could try to hear the voice of reason, but it was drowned out by her body's reaction. She wanted to feel him again.

She walked away quickly, passing several people who were talking loudly or who were already drunk. She looked around and saw the door that led to the back side and sneak there, getting out and feeling the slightly chilly night air, closing the sliding door behind her.

She saw the pool that had some people around it and a little further to the right a door that opened into another closed space. Probably the pool house. She walked over there, trying to hide it so no one would see her, and went inside. She closed the front door slowly and headed towards the bathroom.

The place was dark, with only the lights outside. So she was holding her hand into to some stuff until he found the door. She went in and turned on the light. The bathroom was spacious, with a large sink and a huge mirror in front of it. She closed herself off and looked at herself in the reflection.

That was crazy. She had never done that at parties. Not even when she was drunk. And now she was there, looking forward to what might happen. In fact she knew what was going to happen, just as she knew when she invited him up to her apartment that night. But even so, she felt butterflies in her stomach in anticipation.

After almost 10 minutes of waiting she heard the bathroom door open and she turned in the direction, feeling extremely anxious. Tom came in looking over his shoulder and closed the door soon after, looking at her with an opening grin. He locked the door slowly with one hand and came towards her in a hurry.

The next thing she felt was his lips pressing against hers urgently. He kissed her like it was the last thing he would do. Running her tongue over her lips asking permission and Y/n opened it slowly letting him explore her mouth with his burning tongue.

She ran her hand around the back of his neck pulling his hair and he responded by holding her waist tightly. Tom walked forward and she leaned her back against the sink counter. Making him lift her with agility, sitting her down on the cold surface and getting between her legs. She grunted in surprise against his mouth and he broke the kiss for air. Kissing from her neck to her collarbone and she closed her eyes feeling his touch.

- Tom... - she said in a low voice. - You won't get in trouble if you disappear like that? -he now kissed her neckline and squeezed her thigh with desire.

- Not if we're fast darling. -He spoke a bit husky, moving his kisses to her earlobe, biting lightly and she moaned low. - And despite loving your sounds, you will have to be silent. - He looked at her smiling maliciously. - Promise? -He spoke touching her nose with his lightly, looking at her closely, and she nodded making him attack her lips next.

Still kissing her he pulled the hem of her dress up a little and she bit his lip making him smile against the kiss. Her fingers reached her inner thigh and then moved up to her panties. Tom put the fabric aside with one of her fingers and passed one slowly at her entrance feeling her wetness.

- Always ready for me aren't you darling? -He said pulling his mouth away from hers, staying just a few centimeters away from her. She moaned softly again and he smiled as he pulled her fingers away and replaced them around her thighs pulling her closer to the edge of the sink.  He started to finger her really slowly and she bite her lips, trying to control her moaning. Tom keep his pace just watching her face squirm with pleasure. After seconds he removed his delicious fingers making her almost protest out loud, makind him smile even more. If wasn't for the rush he would definitively make his time with you.

Y/n then put his hands on the collar of his shirt and opened the first buttons. Kissing his neck with desire, making him squeeze her thighs in response. Biting her lips he unfastened his belt and then the buttons of his pants pulled them down along with his boxers, revealing his cock. He pulled her in for one more kiss before taking the condom package from his pocket and opening it, meanwhile Y/n was kissing uncovered place she could reach, from his face to his chest, opening more buttons of his shirt.

Tom adjusted the condom on his cock before taking a few thrusts. He moved even closer to her, if that was even possible, and gave her a peck.

- Ready? He spoke softly against her lips and she nodded almost in despair, wanting to feel him inside her more than anything.

He smiled once more and slid his cock easily as she was completely wet. Tom growled low against her ear and Y/n bit her lip so no sound could come out. He started to move, after she was more adjusted to his size, at first slowly and starting to increase his pace with each second.

-Fuck... - he cursed softly against her ear and she pulled the hair from his neck with one hand, while the other squeezed his shoulder. The more he increased the pace she felt as if she were coming off the ground. - So tight darling... - he said between small grunts. - Feels so good...

- Tom... - Y/n spoke and he increased the pace even more making her moan with the sudden sensation of pleasure and he muffled her sounds by sticking his lips on hers.

-Shh… - he said after moving his lips from hers and Y/n tried her best to keep the sounds to herself, but he filled her perfectly and made her feel so good that she couldn't help it. Tom smirked and put his hand over her mouth, covering her moans. - Can't contain yourself? -he said and kissed her neck giving light bites and hickeys. -You're so easy for me, love... Look at you...- he spoke in a low voice, while still holding his hand firm in her mouth and kissing below her ear. - So easy...- he said going faster, as if it were possible, and bit his lower lip trying to contain his own moans this time, touching his nose to her cheek.

- Please…- she managed to speak muffled against his hand, feeling her orgasm quickly building.

- I know sweetheart... - he said making her feel his heavy breath into her cheek. -I got you ...-he finally said and that was enough for her orgasm to release with force, making him also come right after her with one last muffled grunt against her neck. He continued to move slowly for a few more seconds, before coming to a complete stop. The two of them with their breaths out of control. Reaching their high.

After a few minutes Tom took his hand from her mouth and soon after took his member out of her slowly. The two were silent the entire time. Y/n felt empty as  soonTom walked away to clean up, still half dazed from all the pleasure she just felt. He cleaned himself up and discarded the condom, zipping his pants and turned around, buttoning his shirt right away. Y/n didn't take her eyes off every move he made and he smiled approaching her.

- Want some help darling? - he asked standing in front of her and she held in his arms before he helped her getting down from the sink. She felt a little dizzy and if it wasn't for him holding her she thought she would fall. - You're right? - he asked still holding her on her waist.

- Yes...Thank you... - she managed to say.

- Well, I have to go, before they notice that I'm gone... - he said, releasing her.

- Of course... - Y/n said. - Tom… - she didn't know what to say. It might be the second time they'd done this, but it still felt like it was the first and she felt somewhat embarrassed. Maybe because she wasn't used to casual sex.

- See you soon? - He said giving a quick kiss on her cheek, fixing his hair in the best way he could and winking as he walked away, going to the door and unlocking it. He got out and closed it behind him while she back staring into the mirror.

She took a deep breath and was trying to figure out what to do next. After cleaning her up she finally got out of there. She crawled to the door and managed to get through the party without the weird looks she thought everyone would send to her when they bumped into her. For some reason she thought everyone would know, but obviously not. She felt weird doing that at an party, it really wasn't like her. But why did she feel so good?

She looked around before heading out of the house, but she didn't find Tom in her vision and she didn't know if that was a good thing or a bad thing. She wanted to look at him one last time from afar, but at the same time she didn't. Maybe that was the last time they were going to do that. She didn't think she'd find him like this anywhere else, and she didn't intend to go to the bar he worked at just to get another night with him. Besides, that's what she was, just one night, just a "quickie" in the bathroom. And everything was fine. He was that for her too, so what did it matter?

For a moment she felt his head fill with ideas. Y/n had a perfect plot for her story now. She had to go home and get back to writing right away. Calling the driver from a distance, she practically ran towards the car.

[lyracasstuff]

I am NOT prepared to make myself sad,, you FRENCHIE!! ಥ⌣ಥ

However,, I will accept because as much as it pains me to write angst,, I also have to in order to improve my writing skills..

I'll do this in one shot/fic form as I feel as though I can convey emotions there better. That and I've been doing headcannons as of late,, so let's switch it up a notch..

WARNINGS: DEATH, BLOOD, SPOILERS FOR JOSEPH'S BACKSTORY

Joseph x fem! S/o

To be Sick at Heart💔

"How did this all happen?" thought the Frenchman, although it was more retorical, as he already knew deep down the answer to that question... He just can't accept it..

You had been an acquaintance to Joseph before, seeing as how your family served him, and the both of you only grew closer once you got caught in the twisted "games" of the manor. Joseph asked as to what had tempted you to accept the invitation of the manor.

It turns out, you were looking to find people who you can treat as your own family. In all your life, you practically had been treated like dirt, especially the time when Joseph had gone missing. Your family had given you love and acceptance, but it was short-lived seeing as how their lives were slowly taken from them early on in your life by sickness, you had no one but the other servants to take care of you.

The other servants cared for you, but not to the same extent as your family... You were aware of that fact as did they. So, when the invitation arrived, you couldn't help but accept right away.

It promised that "they" could fulfill your desire of having the bonds and relationships that you never had growing up, why wouldn't you accept? You would be missing out on a golden oppurtunity.

And so, that was how you ended up in this morbid manor, tricked and forced to participate in these "games" that gets everyone hurt much like every other survivor who came here...

Days had gone by. Weeks. Months. Hell, even years, and you were all still being forced to play.

Thankfully, you had everyone to keep you company during these times.. Thanks to your loving nature, you were able to be close with everyone in the manor, even those who are notorious at being secretive like Norton. You even managed to befriend some of the hunters as well.

But most especially of all, you were thankful you had Joseph to be there with you.

You were quite shocked when you saw the silver-haired count, as he had seemingly disappeared out of nowhere the last time. So to see him here made you pleasantly surprised.

Joseph as well felt shocked when he saw you here, albeit he took some time to figure who exactly you were as you looked extremely familiar to him.

It didn't take long for the both of you to grow close to each other where outside of matches, you two were practically inseperable. The both of you would be spotted having afternoon tea together, walking around the manor together, sightseeing for new photoshoot locations together.

You always did things together...

Over time though, you would grow feelings for the count and the same can be said for Joseph as well. However, your fears of being rejected has delayed the both of you from ever confessing about your feelings toward each other. The others in the manor can most definitely see your connection as bright as day, but they really didn't know how to go about helping you about it. After all, all of them never really had great experiences in their lives, so they don't know what would normally be best in a situation like this..

Despite this, you can't help but feel content and happy that you have found people that you can treat as your family. Emily and Michiko were like motherly figures to you with their kind nature. Leo treated you like his own daughter, much like how he treats Emma. Wu Chang, Andrew, Norton, Naib, and Eli were like big brothers for you, always being protective of you to keep you safe.

You really felt at home with all of the inhabitants. It almost felt as if being stuck in a manor wasn't so bad after all...

Almost

There was still one more thing you wanted to do. You had discovered your family, but you wanted to expand on that desire..

You wanted to start your own family

And you would want to do so with someone you love... That someone would be the Frenchman with whom you have grown immense feelings for.. So you sent him an invitation to go to the balcony of the garden at night, where you won't be disturbed by the others...

Unbeknownst to you, the Frenchman had been thinking the same thing, especially after reading the invitation you sent him. Can you blame him though? Seeing you interacting with him, along with all of the others, made him feel butterflies in his stomach. How you unconditionally helped the other inhabitants through their issues and suffering, not because you needed something from them, but because you wanted to. You wanted to help them, you wanted to nurture them, you wanted to support them...

With that feeling alone, Joseph finds that he just couldn't take it anymore... He wants to confess to you..

He wants to be with you, to call you his love, to marry you and call you his wife, and to start a family as well..

With that thought, he made up his mind and decided to accept your invitation, and there, he will confess..

It was night time, you were already at the balcony waiting, knowing that Joseph values punctuality and doesn't like to be kept waiting. Soon after, Joseph shows up. It seems as though he had been brisk walking which is evident by the way he's catching his breath in the slightest.

Taking a deep breath, you slowly and calmly began to confess your feelings towards him and how you wanted to start building a future with him as the father of your children.

Joseph was in awe, for he had never could've guessed that you felt the same way. He accepted, saying how he had always thought about you the same way, and that he would be honored to be the father of your children. Joseph took a few steps towards you, with you unconsciously doing the same. Joseph wrapped his arms around your waist to pull you closer, while you wrapped yours around his neck.

He lifted his hand and tilted your chin upwards to stare at your features, admiring them. The way your skin glistened in the moonlight, how your eyes sparkled with life when he stared at them. How your cheeks were flushed with the slightest hint of color.

You looked angelic to him.

Brushing his thumb over your lower lip, he slowly closed his eyes as he allowed his lips to connect with yours.. You can't help but reciprocate immediately, you'd been waiting for this moment to come. You truly felt happy that you took the risk to confess to him, knowing that he may have rejected you instead.

And that was the start of your blossoming relationship...

For the next few years, the two of you became more and more in love with each other every single day. Countless affirmations of love, bouquets of your favorite flowers, numerous cuddling sessions, along with the discussion of having a domestic life together..

You two really had the potential to have a wonderful life together...

But, there are repercussions in growing fond of the potential...

One time at a match, you had been feeling dizzier and more nauseous by the second, so much so that it frequently disoriented you from kiting the hunter properly. At some point even, you threw up a bit. Your team still won the match since the hunter decided to go friendly in the end because of your condition, however they were still concerned for you so they sent you immediately to Emily.

You were diagnosed to be pregnant..

Your thoughts immediately went to Joseph. A mixture of joy and anxiousness washed over you. Can be a good mother for your child? Can you really do this? Can you really start a family like you had promised? What if you do something wrong? What if you're not cut out for this?

Just as your thoughts began to generate more questions, Joseph runs in and looks over to you with wide eyes. Emily must've told him that you were pregnant with his child. He immediately went towards your bed and hugged you as he sobbed his heart out.

He was so convinced that the bright future you two head towards is certain...

Oh, how a fool he was for believing so....

2 months in and your belly hasn't been growing rapidly.. Normally, you would've had a small baby bump forming on your belly... Joseph and Emily had been constantly reassuring you that you might need to readjust your diet more to fit your baby's needs....

But, that's not the only thing bothering you...

You see, just as you haven't "developed" your baby, your dizziness and nausea didn't go away. For quite sometime, you thought it was normal.....

Until you see tiny specks and droplets of blood on your hand...

That's when you realize....

You're not actually pregnant.. You're sick...

Having this sudden realization, you quickly washed your hand and looked at yourself in the mirror... Maybe this was some sort of mistake? Maybe you're actually pregnant and you just scratched the inside of your cheek?

You were hoping. Praying, that it was anything else other than a sickness... However, as time passed, you felt yourself growing weaker and weaker...

For months, you had kept this sickness of yours a secret. You didn't want to make anyone worry about you and you especially didn't want to disappoint Joseph with the fact that you're not actually carrying a baby or make him devastated with your death just as he became devastated with his twin brother's death...

However, try as you may, the longer you kept it a secret, the more the others noticed. How your skin was getting paler, how your cheeks had started to sink in, how you became alarmingly skinnier and bonier, how your eyes became more dull and lifeless...

Most importantly, at how you became increasingly more secretive and quiet about all this.

Joseph was by far being more and more anxious than before. He didn't know what was happening. He wasn't an expert in medicine, but even he could notice that this isn't normal for a pregnancy..

Quickly carrying you to Emily, he asked for a check-up to see what was happening. You would've stopped him if it weren't for the fact that you were so weak, you couldn't move a muscle without hurting it.. There, he was informed about the condition you're in. He was just as shocked as you are, but there's a mixture of fear and hopelessness bubbling inside him...

No. He couldn't let this happen. Not again...

His breathing starts going rapid, his hands start shaking, he hugs himself as he looks at you at your weakened state with tears threatening to spill from his eyes...

Just as he was about to confront you, Victor had entered and pointed towards the main hall, signaling Joseph and Emily to go there.

Apparently, there's a meeting that's going to be held.

Joseph and Emily looked at each other before turning to look at you. Then, they quickly left the room, with you all alone inside with nothing but your thoughts and the life within you.. Or, what's left of it...

The meeting started once Joseph and Emily arrived as they were the only ones left to attend. Emily had to quickly explain your condition when some of the others questioned your whereabouts.. All were quite shocked and concerned about your sickness, however the meeting was said to be an important one so they had to stay. They'll just have to relay the information given to you by the time it's done..

After the meeting, everyone was so shocked and confused that for several moments, no one said a word.. Who wouldn't though? Because after all this time...

They were all finally free

Free from the clutches of the manor, free from the twisted "games", free from the prison that presented itself as a grand oppurtunity for everyone to get what they want.

They were free at last... Now, they can all live their lives as they want it to be...

Suddenly realizing this, Joseph quickly made his way back to your room. There was still hope he thought, he had hoped for you to get better and finally leave this prison together, along with the others.

But what he saw when he opened the door made him feel like his heart had been crushed into a million pieces...

There in your room, was you lying in your bed, breath shallow and rapid, crimson blood dripping from the side of your mouth and staining the sheets, your eyes looking duller and duller as ever...

You were grasping..

Grasping for whatever life you had left within you, it made Joseph run to your side quickly as he cradled your head in his arms, proclaiming you'll be fine and that you're all free now and that you just need to hold on for a little while longer..

But you both know that you won't make it..

You both know that Joseph is more so convincing himself, than convincing you..

The others had rushed in to see you, and they too were crushed for they also wished for you to escape with all of them...

You held Joseph's hand, and told him not to worry anymore.. Looking towards the others, you proclaimed that you had finally found the people that you can call your family, and that even if Joseph can't see you, you'll always be there for him no matter what.. And that you wish for him to be happy and enjoy his newfound freedom, without the confinements of the manor...

Joseph begged you to stay, to hang on, to stay strong, all while sobbing uncontrollably but to no avail...

You withdrew your final breath as your hand became limp, your eyes closed, and your body going cold...

...

...

...

You had died

For the second time in his life, he once again witnessed the death of someone he deeply cared about..

First Claude......... And now, you....

Joseph lost it as he let all his tears and sadness out.. Everyone, soon followed suit. They can't help but be crushed at the thought of their friend never making it on time for the escape....

The now former inhabitants of the manor prepared one last funeral in honor of your death, with Aesop embalming you, Andrew preparing the hole from which will forever be your resting place, Emma preparing the funeral flowers, while the others prepared the venue... The Red Church.. Everyone gathered and mourned for your death. By the end of it all, everyone left the cemetery and the manor together, with Joseph gripping a bar of the gate, longing to see you again once more and hoping that you were still alive somehow...

Alas, it never came. And so, he reluctantly left the manor and had trenched forward to live his life "to the fullest"...

But how can he ever live his life as he pleases when you're not around? How can he simply enjoy the pleasures of life when you aren't there to accompany him? How can he move on when he doesn't want to forget you?

These thoughts plague him constantly, as he stirs his tea mindlessly, looking into the distance, as his new "family" were chatting happily, not knowing what goes on inside his head..

He has a family now alright, but it wasn't perfect.. It wasn't with you.

That thought is enough to make him sick at heart, for he will never experience the joy he had longed for when you were still around...

Sick at Heart : to experience deep unpleasant emotions such as grief or disappointment

💔🎞💔🎞💔🎞💔🎞💔🎞💔🎞💔🎞💔🎞

Author's Note: I hope you are all satisfied with this angst, Frenchie... Because you really made my day a bit sadder than usual..

Can someone pls request something fluffy the next time I open my requests?? I need some comforting chocolate cake after that bitter black coffee moment..(╥_╥)

Well,, until next time then! See you all in my next post!! (Ｔ▽Ｔ)💚

[beclynn-herondale]

hi! ❤ hope you are well, i'm so happy to know you liked my last robert analysis. it feels very safe and nice to write about him to you, so it makes me really glad that you're enjoying too. forgive me, it took me a while to write this one!

between the points you mentioned, what you said you think about his trauma got my attention first. what you think is right, and i thought it would be a good idea to help you with your conclusions if i explained robert's trauma in details.

to examine it closely, i separate robert's childhood trauma into three parts. i guess we could say he had three different childhood traumas. you probably remember it generally: rune experience, parents, and discrimination. each one was deeply connected to the others but had a different effect in some ways.

1- rune experience: it's kinda hard to people to understand what happened because its horribleness was complex. i'll try to summarize. it was robert's 12th birthday. first of all, robert was being burned alive non-stop. he wasn't having his flesh burned, he was something like "burning inside." how intense the pain was: it consumed his entire being, he lost the ability to think, the pain blocked any thought or memory he could have, so robert didn't know who he was, where he was or what was happening, because all his body/mind/soul were processing was the extreme pain. it was mortal pain, it was supposed to kill robert, he was supposed to die consumed but the burning pain. but it didn't. somehow, while he hadn't the ability to think or feel anything but pain, he had strenght to stay alive in pain instead of die. he was enduring something people shouldn't be able to survive to. in his state where his sould/mind was enduring differently of his body, there were demons, and they tortured robert physically and verbally. then, his family members appeared to him, basically saying he was worthless and should die. he really was supposed to be dead by then, and he could see it, he literally could see hell right waiting for him to finally expire. but it didn't happen. somehow he endured it. now, all of this, lasted one entire month. it's actually hard to imagine someone somehow enduring this for one entire month. i don't think any other character had to endure something like this, except maybe annabel. it's the worse i ever saw happen to a tsc character, it was an entire month. (it's very depressing how nobody could ever understand robert cuz no one else around survived something like this. annabel was tortured, buried alive and then painfully ressurrected, and went literally insane because of it.)

this had multiple consequences to robert. physically, he took a while to recover, but then it was stated his body was fine. the effects were mostly mental. after receiving his first rune, robert was supposed to continue his training, but he couldn't. other kids of his age were evolving their training, while he was doing nothing about it. he both hadn't the energy and couldn't do it, cuz he was afraid of steeles. something perfectly logical since a steele caused that month of agony. you know he eventually managed to learn to use steeles to be an actual shadowhunter. but it wasn't all.

the first rune is something normal that happens to all shadowhunters, and it's mostly something good. the way it was horrible to robert in a way no one could have expected, made robert develop extreme anxiety; because the worst happened to him triggered by something common. so while doing common things, robert would be always scared and anxious, thinking about the worst of the worst that could happen. while it wasn't much notable to other people, it harmed his development and behavior a lot, consequently harming his self-steem, cuz he couldn't do things right, he was always worried and overthinking everything.

to compensate it, robert became somebody who worked on two extremes: he was always overthinking everything, except in battle. in battle he wasn't what we define as brave i guess. he was fearless. valentine is the one who helped robert to achieve that. (we know his actual motivations, this isn't important now) the mental process valentine taught him was: robert's inherent fear and anxiety made him fail, and that made him despise himself (that's something robert does a lot for countless reasons). robert should not only embrace the fury he felt against himself, but it should dominate him, and he use its intensity to block his fear. then basically, robert should do a mental form of self harm, letting the strenght of his hate for himself take his mind and use this strenght to control his actions. robert's fury leading his actions, not his fear and anxiety. as expected with this process, robert then was able to engage in normal shadowhunter activities, but fearless when it came to physical risk. logically this would be very dangerous, but we can imagine how useful it was for valentine to have on his team a warrior like this who was such a big and strong man and centainly could take a lot of physical damage and pain (and i guess it shouldn't be any doubt that being so tough helped robert a lot to survive through the years). we know it was because of this robert felt he owed loyalty to valentine.

2- parents: first, something kinda interesting is that robert had other relatives and they were there when robert's first rune was made. we are informed that his state during that month of agony was a scandal and robert's parents were the ones being absurd. so we can assume his other relatives had nothing to do with it. another strong evidence is robert naming two of his children with names from his family, what indicates he didn't saw his entire family negatively. now his parents... let's never forget what happened to robert was supposed to kill him on incredible intense pain. andrew and phoebe deliberately let their child to die in pain so he wouldn't be a mundane. i personally classify them between the worst shadowhunters parents along with céline's, annabel's, valentine and tatiana.

after robert woke up, they (or anyone else) never cared to ask robert how he felt. all they wanted was to make everything seem normal, without caring about how robert was taking it. they never showed any regret about what they've done: they did the opposite of that, telling robert right on his face what they did and how they were sure that it was totally worth it to make him go through that to not be a mundane. it hurt (and traumatized) robert a lot.

love from parents and relatives is supposed to be the first love someone gets. and robert didn't have that. if his parents showed love to him on his first years alive, it never mattered because these two traumas mentioned made robert forget anything about his parents from before his first rune. he couldn't ever remember them as actual parental figures of love. the only parents he remembered and recognized were the ones who left him to endure that, looked proud of it and never cared about its effects on him afterwards. as far as it counted, robert lived a loveless childhood. as i mentioned, andrew and phoebe wanted everything to be as normal possible, so they just acted as robert's parents as if anything happened, but it was pointless and felt cold. after knowing what they did to him (what they let happen to him), knowing that they didn't actually love him as their child, robert couldn't have a bond with them, he couldn't even be comfortable around them. it's described that their presence was what intensified robert's loneliness the most. so he didn't spend much time around them, he stayed in his room.

without his parents' love, robert's first experience with love was when he was 13 years old, with michael. it was setting a standard of love to him, with the long-term consequences afterwards being devastating. (i guess someone could even connect robert not recognizing his parents affection with his future performance of fatherhood, but that would be mostly guessing and i rather work with things i can prove. another good guess i think would be connecting his loveless childhood to how robert during his teenagehood had messy limits between his love for michael and his affection for maryse and didn't know how to handle or recognize it. i mean mostly things like, if michael was robert's best friend/parabatai and maryse his romantic partner and probably future wife, why did robert see maryse and women in general as a threat to michael's place in his life and their parabatai and best friend relationship? he saw valentine having a parabatai he loved and a girlfriend he wanted to get married to, and still freaked out about a woman as his wife replacing michael who was his parabatai, what didn't make any sense. i know people joke about robert being "clueless" about michael but it isn't much funny with this context. finally, another guess would be connecting robert's discovery that his parents' love for him was faulty through they letting him hurt to his beliefs that what he did to michael proved his love for michael was faulty. you can deliberate about all of these conjectures if you want).

3- discrimination: before his first rune, robert had other kids to play with, but he wouldn't remember much of it. yeah, we can say robert doesn't remember anything about how he was treated by people before his first rune. robert doesn't know a life without trauma.

since what happened to robert was a political scandal, with everyone trying to save robert and his parents wanting him to keep his painful and mortal rune, what happened to him was kind of general knowledge. then, no kid wanted to play or train with him. at first he was still recovering, but then he couldn't move foward because he didn't have anyone. he didn't want to be around his parents' coldness and no one else wanted to be around him, quite literally. other people would be around him only when being forced, and then would stay the most distant of him possible, to never get physically close of him, as if to not catch a disease. this is absolutely dreadful to a child.

being treated like this hurt and traumatized robert terribly. being around any one was horrible, so he spent most of the time hidden in his room. not being able to improve on anything because of his fears and anxiety and not having anyone to train with or even to socialize with, and basically never being able to move on about what happened, robert hated to be alive and wished to be dead, wished the rune had killed him as it should have, because he thought no death could be worse than his life, so be dead would be better. this state of mind dured an entire year before michael came around. a lot of damage had been done by then.

being treated like he was "sick" and ostracized left a huge psychological wound on him. to him, discrimination was one of the worst things ever, for something that was never his fault and he never choose to.

(one may think that if robert hates discrimination, it doesn't make sense to him to dislike downworlders, but it actually does. all robert wanted was to be a normal shadowhunter, and he had deeper reasons than most to be passionate about being one. disliking downworlders would be an ideal average shadowhunter thing to do. but robert was far from ignorant. he didn't think downworlders were animals or demons and was far more inclined to defend downworlder segregation than downworlder extermination. of course segregation is something horrible in general and should never be defended, but with downworlders being different sub-species, it wasn't as absurd as the extermination valentine defended, and robert being actually smart and open minded, we know he actually changed his beliefs).

now, to him, one being discriminated by their peers was one of the worst things that could happen, and the perspective of being discriminated terrified and triggered robert deeply. we know the perspective of homosexuality freaks robert out because of the discrimination, marginalization and "anormality" experience that comes with it (and robert is a 60s kid and shadowhunter society is a conservative mess, so it would naturally seem so much more taboo to him), what scared him deeply. we see him getting extremely anxious over himself, michael and alec about the perspective of homophobic discrimination.

robert only started training with runes after his 14th birthday. his training was late, and between his 12th and 14th birthdays, half of the time was extremely traumatizing, the other half he spent most with michael (who helped him a lot about everything). but still, it was a very big share of his childhood-teenagehood and he didn't have the feeling or normality. everything i said about his anxiety over shadowhunting, specially over runes, applied intensely during his entire teenagehood, but robert went to the academy with michael where he was having normal training and final got to socialize a little. he loved so much to feel a little normal. he still felt like a weak and useless trash, but at least he was doing normal shadowhunting things and living like a teenager. the problem was: he wanted to live his entire teenagehood, and he just couldn't do that. training is supposed to end when shadowhunters are 18 years old. robert would stay at the academy until he was 19, and still didn't seem enough. while he was older than his fellows, he felt far less mature. much of his development time had been lost, and he would never get it back. in this context, it made very sense to robert's girlfriend be a younger girl and his admiration for a younger boy (valentine), and there were jokes about him being old, but what bothered robert the most was that he should soon live an adult man average life with wife and kids, when his perspective of life was being with michael in the academy. we also know how that went... and he married maryse when he was about 21/22 years old and maryse about 19.

forgive me for any grammar mistakes. i think this summary can help a lot! at least i hope it's useful to you or anyone else who read it! writing it was very thoughtful (and it's really a huge joy for me to explain things about robert, if you haven't guessed) and i hope to start working on my next ask soon

xoxo, take care of yourself, kind fellow ☺ thank you for your attention

First of all,. I'm sorry for getting to this late.

Second, I don't think I need to add anything. This is written very well, and gave me a deeper understanding.

And I am once again saying: let Shadowhunters get help with their trauma 😭

Also, TSC has a lot of bad parents. But it sadly represents real life 😔

Thank you for taking the time to write this out. I enjoyed reading it. And I agree with a lot that was said.