#i'll try not to go online but thats unlikely

[silenthillmutual]

hi! i saw your post on ocd and it home bc for a few months now i've been asking myself if i have it. i definitely have intrusive thoughts, maybe compulsions, i think all closer to moral ocd? however i absolutely don't have the means and time to seek a diagnosis or therapy rn so i was wondering: do you have tips or like, little things that make dealing with intrusive thoughts a bit easier?

hiya!

that's totally understandable, sometimes it simply isn't possible to go through all that - i didn't start getting treated until i was in my late 20s, so i spent a lot of time just trying to navigate life without therapy or meds.

recognizing i'm dealing with an intrusive thought and that it isn't a "regular" thought helps me still, because some of mine sneak up on me, or i'll think they're justified, or i'll think they're related to something else, like my mood disorder. even when i'm going through a period where i'm having a lot of intrusive thoughts, i can recognize that the thought itself is an outlier (and should not be counted). this makes dealing with it easier for me.

the actual factual real advice i get in therapy for dealing with intrusive thoughts is called radical acceptance, and with that comes acknowledging what you are experiencing, acknowledging your lack of control, and accepting it. it also means not fighting your intrusive thoughts, but sitting with them. allowing them to happen. and then moving on. tbh, it can be really difficult to do this, and really frightening when you first start out. it feels natural to flinch. but i think that even practicing it out on intrusive thoughts that don't feel as bad or as big to you can help.

something i did for a long while was writing down my intrusive thoughts on a slip of paper, and then shredding the paper as a way of getting the thought out and then letting go of it

ymmv on how workable this is, but keeping (reasonably!!!) busy can help. i tried to do way too much in college (do not take 8+ classes a semester that is wayyyyy overdoing it and you will burn yourself out) but it was also probably the most sociable i've ever been. which hopefully leads to more support when it's especially bad.

if there's anyone you feel safe enough to talk about it to, that can also really help. espeically if they a) have it themselves, or b) know about it/are willing to learn. it's good if there's someone irl, but even having someone online who can... help ground you, if that makes sense. my buddy elie will sometimes say "bro that is your ocd talking", and that can calm the righteous fury/crushing anxiety/whatever it is today by realizing that it is 1) not that serious and/or 2) incredibly unlikely to happen. (i find this works best w my moral ocd symptoms & my 'what-ifs')

my last big one was just Getting Silly With It. for a long while i was responding to my intrusive thoughts by treating them like a lucid dream and changing the situation to something completely absurd. sometimes i'd respond to it by thinking 'and thats my pitch for a horror novel!' at the end of the thought. then for a while i'd say 'okay gideon' bc giving it a name and a face made it easier to see it as like. a problem i could at least look at. i can't say these are necessarily the best coping skills, i've never really told my therapist abt these methods, but i still do them on reflex sometimes when i think 'i dont have time to sit here and deal with this thought'.

journaling in general also helps esp if you can identify stressors in your life that might be making it worse.

wishin you luck!

[justalilpearlie]

Introduction/Fun Pearlie Facts

Was abt time I did one of these.

Hello everyone, my name is Pearl, Pearlie or Sam/Sammy if you're feeling like it. Friends also call me Martini sometimes.

I am a minor, my labels... we dont talk about them (fem presenting ftm gay/mlm + trying out gendervoid and verinix + bigender??) uhmm and I go by He/She, tho mostly He/Him by strangers- I can She/Her myself and close friends/mutuals are allowed! (I also go by neos: Void/Moon/Sweet/It/Fluff/Love/Fizz/Paw)

I'm from Argentina, born and raised, never moved. Speak fluent english and spanish.

I got the 'tism and the adhd, aswell as BPD and a few other things I wont list right now! But yeah I'm psychotic (ooo scary word.. lmao)

- -🌄-📀-🌙- -💚- -💛- -✨-🌄-✨- -💛- -💚- -🌙-📀-🌄- -

I'm an IRL of many, mainly c!Pearl (mcyt), Samuel Emily (fnaf [games canon]) and Shin Tsukimi (yttd). If you don't like it you can leave, block me, or whatever, cause you aint gonna change my life or how I am. I'm in therapy, which unlike random hate and harrassment online, does help me :)

I like to roleplay, draw, sometimes make playlists or moodboards.. And my biggest interests right now are Life Series (+ evo + new life), Empires1(+ a bit of e2) and FNaF! (i dont rlly like the books tho lol..)

I use kin tags for reach cause I'd love interaction from any fellow lifers or empires ppl, hermits aswell!! Tho I havent finished s8 or s9 yet...

Fictionkins, therians and traumagenic systems all welcome!

- -💥-🐺-🌙- -❤️- -💛- -✨-💥-✨- -💛- -❤️- -🌙-🐺-💥- -

DNI prefferably:

- Basic DNI criteria (proshippers, homophobes, transphobes, racists, TERFs, ableist, etc)

- Endos/non-traumagenic "systems" DNI. block me if u want, i wont argue abt it in the comments/reblogs. or interact if u want but im not gonna follow u back or anythin shrugs.

- reality checkers or anti-IRLs DNI. I aint "romanticizing" shit, I'm existing and living my life, if thats a problem to you too bad cause my psychologist aproves of what I'm doing, since I aint harming anyone and I myself am doing dandy.

- anti-kin also DNI cause most of my friends are fictionkins and if you talk shit abt my fellas idk i wouldnt like having u around much

CCs interact at your own risk. This is my domain, cyan man & moon lady. /hj

- -🪸-🐸-🌙- -💙- -🩵- -✨-🪸-✨- -🩵- -💙- -🌙-🐸-🪸- -

"Disclaimer"

- I talk about MajorMoon (Scott x Pearl) a LOT, if u didnt notice by the acc theme. These are my romantic memories, its a gay ship, not woman/gay man, so if it makes u uncomfortable or u hate it or whatever then ur probably not gonna like my content lmao. COUGH, consider joining us if you do like what you see... /nf We're a small comunity of supporters.. just me.. and a few of my peeps... that was a joke, sir. /ref

- This isn't roleplay, its my main acc where im ""unapologetically"" myself, but if u do wanna rp life series/empires u can always shoot me a dm and maybe I'll give u my discord.

- I talk about myself (c!Pearl) using 3rd person in many posts tagged with main fandom tags. This is to cause less confusion to casual fans slash ""normies"" (lhj) that well.. don't know what IRLs are! Also that way I feel safer and don't have to worry as much abt getting harassed and such for my identity.

- -🌸-⛰️-🌙- -💚- -💙- -✨-🌸-✨- -💙- -💚- -🌙-⛰️-🌸- -

Special People Mentions!! fps = * (1 or more.. wouldnt say in a priority sorta order but. more or less yea)

Family! <3 🌼@pehpurr* SISTER!! super duper cool, her art is great and you should check it out!! YOU. You're the brightest little girl (i say like ur not older than me) I'VE EVER MET ACTUALLY! You're so passionate and loving I freaking adore you!! I love you so much Scar, you're one of the best things to ever happen to me, Kanny &lt;3 ⚙️@gentlexmadman DAD!! you are my daaaad, you're my dad! woogie woogie woogie! ANOTHER amazing artist! mr "I know that guy-", very funny, Henry "Autism" Emily... the copper king, my father. Speaking to you is always comforting. Love you so much papa, you're amazing :)

Simply special <3 ☕@insomniac-coffeehouse** You're all simply so very special to me. I love spending time with you guys and playing stuff together, you mean a lot to me and I'm so glad I met you. I hope we're still close for this year and many more! You're incredibly talented, not only at art, at everything you do. You spark joy in my brain and my heart <3 From the bottom of my heart, I'm in love with the hope you bring to this world. 🍊Jack***, oh my dear Jacky, where do I even begin, sport... you really are my other half. Mi media naranja if you will. haha.. I love every second we spend together, I love your voice, I love your eyes, I love your smile, your laughter. I love your use of words, the way you speak, your humor, your seriousness and goofiness. You stiff fuck, you were made for me and I was made for you, and I wouldn't have it any other way. You're my everything, mi vida, mi luz, mi estrella. Mi amor, mi mundo. <3

New friends! ��@strawberrystarfield I know we met fairly recently but you're all incredibly fun to talk to, your art is also amazing, your accent is real pretty (cough for a bri-💥), you're real sweet and I love reading all your thoughts and critiques about things :} (love ya Aspen /gen) 🏜️@fagdykegtws My right hand man! I know we just met through the rarepair server but oh my god we're in the same brainwave!!! You're so fun to vc and chat with and you got the best ideas ever fr fr, love ya Chewy, you're real sweet even w how lil i know you ;)

That's it folks, love yall and see you around!

[lindszeppelin]

okay so here we go, i didn't tag my post about the recent things that are happening but yet somehow mollie's followers send her the things that i say on my blog. interesting.

so, now that i was called out directly, lets go, mollie. straight from the source.

i do not bitch about you day in and day out. i have a fucking day job and unlike some people on here, i do not post gossip. i only respond with FACTS to idiotic things that you post about on your gossip blog that is out there and open to the public for everybody to see. you are the ONLY person on tumblr that talks gossip about austin and runs their entire account based around it. no one else on tumblr does. so unfortunately for you, you will be the main target of some people's complaints. as if you remember correctly, i had no issue with you in the past. until you took things way too far where you literally were spamming austin's tag and drowning out everyone's work, and i had to block you - a move which i did not want to do but you left me with no choice after i went in your DMs to warn you i was about to do so.

so here we are. you continue to contradict yourself and cry wolf and you're not better than deuxmoi or any others out there that post things about austin or other celebs for the notoriety.

gossip is inherently immoral. i will always stand by that. what i do is post facts to the gossip you spread around and act like it's fact.

clearly you read the blog post i just did, so you can tell that i responded with FACTS. cold hard facts that you cannot disprove and say that it's speculation when it's not, its the truth. im a hairdresser, i talked about kaia's hair. i posted articles and facts about the gucci store in paris. i posted other screenshots to corroborate the facts i posted. how is that gossip? it's not. but nice try.

i will always keep saying that you and others that call austin a puppy etc in regards to his relationship with kaia is insulting to his intelligence, because it is. i've already talked ad nauseum about it so feel free to read my other blog posts that your followers clearly have sent to you to sniggle over.

austin is a grown fucking man and he deserves to be respected. not demoralized. not infantilized. not babied. and he deserves to have a nice fanbase that doesn't spread gossip and demean him all the time. you hated kaia in the past, and now you ride her dick all the time as if she is end game.

you're saying that i liked the attention from name dropping YOU?! i could not give one single FUCK about attention, or clout. im nearly 30 fucking years old. do you really think i enjoy having to come on here and talk some fucking sense into all you guys that are spreading false shit around about austin?? i don't have the fucking time, but luckily for you today as an off day at work for me. so here i am.

how dare you try to spin this around on me and say i like the attention. im not the one here thats running a gossip blog and gets off on the negativity. you love it when people talk about you, whether its positive or negative. you really enjoy people calling you narcissistic and other horrible things that you screenshot it and proudly display it on your blog header?? it's not some kind of one up move or a "ha ha" that you do. i wouldn't get some kind of sick kick from someone calling me hateful things.

i'll end it with this. being "delulu" about the shit that you post about austin and being negatively talked about by your anons and others seems to be the more miserable way to live, versus someone who defends austin and speaks the truth.

i would delete my social medias right fucking now and never set foot online again and live happily if it meant that i had a peace of mind knowing Austin was comfortable and safe and happy. would you?

but sure, lets keep using his name and his life as a means to spread gossip and make this some kind of popularity contest.

i'm done here.

[oh-my-damn]

Can I vent or get some advice or... idk. I'm

33, I'll be 34 in a few months.  I've never dated, kissed, let alone had sex. I'm the type of girl who falls for 1 guy and likes them for years. I have been asked out a few times over the years but never by someone who I was interested in. I feel like a loser, but that's a vent for another day. As I'm getting older I thought I'd meet someone the old fashioned way, through a meet cute at a store,  or through school, mutual friends, etc. But nothing.  I'm contemplating using dating apps (idk which ones, match, eharmoney??). I want to meet someone but also I have things I want in life to do, but I also want kids, I want to make a family, but the only guys I've found attractive the last few years are actors (one which I'm sure you can guess).

I just... I don't know what I was expecting from this.  I think maybe I just needed to put this out there,  you know? And I've read some of your personal stuff and I just thought you'd be a sympathetic ear or understand what I'm going through. I'm confused and so lonely and God I just want to be pushed up against a wall and kissed by a guy who is protective of me and looks at me with so much love in their eyes it makes me melt. I just never expected to be alone at this age and I feel like I'm running out of time.  Running out of time to meet someone,  running out of time to have kids.  It feels like if I don't do something soon,  I'll miss out on my opportunity.  I want a husband and kids. 😞thank you for listening

Hi honey.

I'm so sorry to hear you're going through this. I understand that feeling of loneliness and like its never going to happen for you, its something I myself have been dealing with for a while now. Im not sure what to say because there are people out there who do not find that kind of love, and then there are some who do and others who dont actually find it but pretend they do.

I think whats important to note is that a lot of those "happily in love my life is perfect" people arent actually that happy or in love and their life isnt actually as perfect as they like to portray it as.

At the end of the day, what matters most is you and your own happiness and your own path in life.

I can understand wanting to meet someone the old fashioned way but with the way the world is going, thats getting harder and harder. If you truly are looking to settle down in the near future, I would recommend going after it the same way you would an education or a career. Get out there, try online dating (but do it SAFELY. Always meet in a public space, do not give out too much personal info until you know them well etc)

Dating casually is usually the first step because, unlike what movies have taught us, they dont just come along when you want them to. Sometimes it takes a while but I think your mindset is important. If you feel ready to pursue commitment then its about being open and communicating that.

Online dating can be annoying and tedious. But maybe thats a good next step for you?

I am unsure what advice to give as I myself do not actively look for someone else, so I wish I could give recommendations but its a bit difficult. I have heard from friends that Hinge or Bumble are pretty good, I think?

I hope you find what youre looking for, honey. But its also important to note that you shouldnt expect this special person to come into your life to fix everything. If that is the only part of your life youre unhappy with, then maybe yes. But if there are other things as well, a good idea is to deal with those first, to heal and know yourself. And maybe that person will come along naturally, maybe youll see them on an online dating site, who knows.

Its really hard to deal with these things. I hope you have friends and family to talk to when the loneliness is overwhelming and that youre taking care of yourself and your mental health ❤️

[flabebabe]

Saw your post. Just wanted to share my story. I grew up in a very conservative leaning household and it took me until nearly the end of high school to start questioning whether or not i actually cared about those beliefs. The people around me were patient enough and willing to teach me more about LGBTQ+ topics and its because of them, and some self reflection, that i was able to become who i am today.

if i had instead interacted with the puritans on this website, i probably would have been pushed bitterly back into 4chan. i think people need to be more accepting of growth and patient with the people who werent fortunate enough to "start with a clean slate." but i think that also applies to ourselves as well.

everyone has done something wrong in their pasts, but we've also done some things right, too. and i think we just need to try to remember the good we're capable of. i try to just remember that i'm not who i used to be, and even if i fuck up again, that i'm aware now and i'll try to be better. it's not easy but i try my best, and thats all i can do.

i'm not sure if any of this is helpful. but if theres anything that you take from this, i just want to say that i see you, and i extend my hand in solidarity <3

Anon, I pretty much had the exact same thing happen to me with the conservative upbringing. I found tumblr at a time when I really needed an LGBT community and I will always be thankful for that but I didn't realize that I was getting into a space that nurtured something very ugly inside me. And I'm not trying to bOtH SiDeS y'all, at least this community actually means well, unlike communities like 4chan and the like. Speaking of 4chan, I find myself fascinated with it. You said that the toxicity of tumblr could have pushed you in that direction and I think people misunderstand what that really means. There's that comic where the author pokes fun at people who claim that they're being bullied into becoming nazis and while that is amusing and topical, I think it's too simplified. People don't become alt-right ghouls overnight, it's a long process that we're not really being honest about. Correct me if I'm wrong but it seems to me that the hostility of internet leftist spaces towards people who are wrong is unproductive. If a person seeks out community and is rejected, they're going to go somewhere else and that somewhere else is full of hateful people who want to hurt others. The person seeking community is vulnerable; otherwise they probably wouldn't be looking for comfort online. And then the ghouls get them. I don't have nearly as much sympathy for people who are completely radicalized by the alt-right but I do have sympathy for the lost people who just want to belong. I'm not saying we should coddle them, I just think maybe we shouldn't maul people for being wrong because it's just going to push them away. Yes, people should know that the world doesn't revolve around them and that there are many injustices in this world that they are likely contributing to but, again, flipping a dick at them is not going to help them do that. People think that being mean is work towards change but it's not work at all. It's waaaayyyy easier to be mean than kind. Sorry for the rant but I'm kind of realizing how much terrible behavior on my part was influenced by coming here. I'm going to put in the work to be better, and I think you, Anon, are on that path already. Thank you!! Peace.

[trippy-maskow]

Bruh your explanations are all over the place. first you go out your way to tell ppl that they are entirely wrong in their understanding of belos (underneath someone's art work and completely unprompted let's not forget) and then you backtrack when people call you out by claiming you misworded things.

You misworded things but then u continued to reiterate the same 'misworded' defense of belos over and over again in several different replies? Several separate people explained to you how what you were saying wasn't right but you skipped over all of it just to claim that none of it matters in the first place because it's all fictional. And then you claim that you know Belos is a terrible person and that his actions can't be excused.. but then u go on to excuse him by saying that he was abused himself and that he's from the 1600s and doesn't know better?? Those are not explanations those are,, literally,, excuses,,

And then on here you say you see him as normal bc of your own experiences (which I'm sorry to hear) but honestly you are just backpedaling on everything you came in saying with such fervor in the first place. As you said, you're 18, you're old enough to own up to your own opinions that you willingly choose to put online. You should know that if you go out of your way to get someone's attention by replying to their artwork disagreeing with their drawing(?!) that you're going to get people going out of their way to explain to you why the concerning and inflammatory things you said are not okay.

I think you have far more awareness of the malice and danger behind characters like Belos than you act like you do, I think you just don't care. It is so beyond fine to stan a villain, so many people do it. Just, for the love of everything, own up to it! If you're gonna have an entire discord about loving a villain then at least,, admit that he's,, a villain. That means not erasing the parts of his character that you see as too cruel or unlikeable. Either you like him in all of his abusive and witch-hunting glory or you're trying to make something out of him that he's not. And if that's the way you want to play it then stop commenting on other people's creations that you don't even like in the first place.

I know hes a villian. just, like ive mentioned in the reply to my reply, I didnt know some of those things, WERE abuse. and i didnt mention the verbal abuse bc i thought it wouldnt be taken seriously/laughed off jsut like its been irl to me. the reason i "back pedaled" is bc thats how it was. i first tried to explain how i saw from ym pov of someone who had no clue how serious it was/that it was abuse. I explained that one or two of my replies had been pisworded, such as that hunter wasnt abused. what i meant was that we havent seen him be hit. still, an awful take and i'll admit to that. then when someone in teh quote retweets, the only person who wasnt laughing at me or insulting me, asked me if my family situation was ok, bc this stuff isnt ok, then after some talking i realised, that it wasnt just, hunter stans egaxxerating. This was another type of years of abuse that ive normalised. Similarly with hunter not being allowed of the tower. I wasnt allowed out of the hosue aside from school or unless i went shopping with my mom in my teen years. and i agree. it was shitty of me to reply abt their art. I was og just commenting about the like, title?? thingy? that went along with it. then i for some reason commented on teh art. which was very shitty of me to do. Also you know you couldve just DMed me right? my dms are open.

[rieou]

hi I'm watching endgame on the second day so if I see a single spoiler I'm unfollowing you 😊👉👉

[jun-kys]

Abt to talk about ethan nakamura and fuuta kajiyama for funnies.

Its cool that even though at surface level they seem so similar, THEY CONTRAST EACH OTHER SO WELL.

i'll start off by noting rheir eyepatches are the opposite sides. This HAS to be showing that theyre paralells I SWEAR

i'd like to point out that ethan is younger than fuuta but due to their circumstances and the situations they are in, Ethan is more mature (i think idk)

Justice. They have the same overarching theme, but they are SO DIFFERENT. This helps explore the differences between others perceptions of justice

because ethans in a more harsh universe/environment than fuuta and obviously has a different upbringing like his mom being the vengeance/balance/justice momma whoo.

To him, justice = recognition for the minor gods, tearing down prideful people (olympians)Eventually he doesrecognise what hes doing is wrong thats why he hits the floor with considerable force.Hes more of a follower but in the end his faith lies in his mom

now we have Fuuta our no.1 twt incel go go fuuters!! His world is set in a relatively normal and modern society. Where he can use twitterHe feels as if justice = flaming people online/getting them to repent for the things they've done.

Eventually, unlike Ethan he ends up getting swayed and goes awhowhoa, losing sight of himself becoming prideful and even getting a middle schooler harrassed for no reason?So far there is no concrete reason that fuuta acts like this.

A few theories listed are "he never recieved approval" or "his father sucked" and such, but we can see that he really wanted friends or people he can rely on (i feel you)

Fuuta is also? Technically a follower(?) He does say that he just goes with the flow of society, but in his MV it shows that he feels as if he is the leader of his group, or the 'dark triad' or somethingHe eventually realizes that what he did is wrong! But thats wayy too late thats when hes getting flamed on twitter back!!

I'll summarise the parallels now

1. Perceptions of justice.

I feel as if overall, Fuuta was using the excuse of justice to gain friends, or he initially did want to 'bring justice' but got sidetracked.His method never changed but his goal did.

Ethan on the other hand, may have been using it to be recognized or gain the approval of his mother. (I can bring up the fact that fuuta is motherless now 🎉) He stuck with the goal of 'justice' which was giving his siblings and his mother the recognition they deservedbut at the last minute, he realized that total destruction didn't bring balance and sacrificed himself to make a difference. He changed his method but never his goal.

Lame man term:

Similar: Both doing for approval

Difference

Fuuta: 'Selfish' goal, changed his goal but not method.

Ethan: 'Selfless' goal, changed his method but not his goal

take a shot each time i say goal, justice, or approval.

2. Leader-Follower

Ethan is a follower. Nuff said /jHe does a lot of errands for the titan army (but why. he fails them all) and for some reason is Kronos' right hand man. (But why what has he done./gen)Eventually, in the end, he rebels against Kronos but fails and. sob. Dies

Fuuta? I'm not vv sure about him though. In his MV hes shown more as a leader during the 2nd and 3rd fight scenes.Its possible that he took on the role of a leader and a less passive approach then.In the end, the people he fought with disappeared during the scene where he wipes blood off his face, and most likely turned against him, like the internet calling out and going against his actions

Lame man term:

Similar: most likely followers initially

Difference:

Fuuta- He eventually took on a leadership position, but in the end they turned against him.

Ethan- Stayed as a follower, but in the end turned against his leader

3. The aftermath + consequences.Both of them fucked up big time. And you know what happens when you fuck up?

Consequences.

We know what eventually happened to Ethan.

He died.

He died as a hero, trying to stop Kronos. However, before that he was regarded as a villain, and antagonist. (He stabbed someone am not surprised)He redeemed himself through a single act.

Would you say that making a difference through his death was a bad thing? Do you think at that moment there was a better option for him?

Now what about our little twitter boy?

In the end, everyone turned against him, and was regarded as the bad guy!He started off as an "undead hero", and 'brought justice to the world' through his actions. Then pride got the best of him and he made a mistake.

Through a single act, his reputation was tarnished.

Lame mans words :

For Fuuta, through one act he became the villain.For Ethan, through one act he became the hero.

What do you think? Do they deserve such titles? Opening the floor for discussion.

TLDR

Same:

- both eyepatch

- both of them had the idea of 'justice'

- both seeked for approval through their actions

Different:- Definition/perception of justice.

- Overall goal

- Their conclusion

Thanks for reading (i will bet with literally anyone that only i'm the one reading this read.)

Tldr ethan nakamura birthday on 9th october celebrate or face mt wraith

[the-stray-storyteller]

hello! i sent this, i also used to use wattpad hm, i do have a few unifished stories on there.. anyways, sorry for the late reponse, i only go on tumblr on my computer but im busy with school.. didn't get to do my wriitng sess yesterday, def did it today.. hm what else, oh thats funny, me and my friend made a book on an account together too, this was during quaarratine and it was fun because we both loved cm so we did one shots on it and it was funny ebcause we'd work on these on zoom and we actually did stuff llike "how they would react to you burning down your house" and funny stuff like that, i dont know if we posted them though..

my account is still on watpppad too and you see very eneteratining,, looking forward to getting to know you too Stray Storyteller, i rambled a bit too so don't worry about ranting with me haha..

i try not to get addicted to my computer so i dont really havr a lot of time to do everything on my computer so after i finish scrolling thru my feed i'll get off tumblr for tonignt, hoping to be back tommorrow but i will def be online friday!

signing off,

sincerly, red

The amount of things that we have in common....

I also access tumblr more often on my laptop than my phone. I actually use it on my phone once a blue moon.

Me and my friend had also written during quarantine. We however did it during online classes while the teacher was figuring how to share her screen and yelling at the class to unmute.

However unlike you I am already addicted to this laptop. At this point it is background noise for me. I usually go thru my feed after I come back from school because after that I will have tuitions and then I will have to study and at the end of the day I will be too tired to do anything else.

[somebody-in-this-world-who-lives]

Teen girls liking M|M and why I support it

Acctually, lets stop with the "Teen girls are fetishising m|m" bullshit.

You will defend the crap out of a 17 year old guy because he is "just a kid" if he did something wrong but will not stop talking shit about an eleven year old watching yaoi anime.

"Oh but they are straight and cis and..." *You* don't know that! Thats a developing human trying different interests. Have you ever thought they didn't have any other experience with non straight romance before and thats why it's not 100% down-to-earth when they try to write it? Because, by your own definition, they are kids? Kids who are trying their best to be supportive and learn while creating spaces where they can enjoy thenselves without the media and the people around them putting them down. Straight romance treatment of girl characters is exausting so offen, can you blame them for wanting to escape it? Sometimes it's shit when none of the characters you are supposed to project into in love stories look or act like you, so longing for something that doesn't even resemble you can be good.

No one bats an eye when "unrealistic" romance media is made to teen girls if it's straight. No one cares if so much of this genre is about putting their viewers down. No one even cares about boys watching animes with girl characters that are just boobs, they are kids, they can learn. So what is the dang problem? That they are excited about it? Having a place where they feel liberated to gush about relationships that thankfully don't involve them and being able to put that distance between them and media?

And I'll say more. "Fetishising" is a sexual word. When someone says grown man fetishize lesbians is because they get of on it. It's all over p*rn sites and a lot of people have been harassed over it. A pre-pubescent girl saying 'OwO hot, they are cute' to a scene on a fanfic is not the same thing?? The few cases of couples being bothered by little girls I've seen online are weird, and mostly frowned upon by other girls with similar interests. You can't belittle a whole group because of it. They are young. Some people will accidentally go to far. It's normal.

I'm not cis nor straight, but I've not always known that. And I started watching BL because anime girls annoyed me but I'm such a big romance fan. That, and being in fandon, was my introduction to the idea that people aren't always straight, and I own so much of my journey on being on these accepting communities. Even If they weren't always 'accurete to the experience', too idealized or if we don't use the same terms anymore, to them being gay wasnt shameful or hatefull, It was good! Gay people were the heroes of these stories and were allowed to fall in love and be different in stories that were funny and cute. Maybe some stereotypes were prevalent, but I much more prefer what a well intentined 15 year old wrote with maybe a lack of research to what was on mainstream at that time. BL was unlike gay media of when I was youger because even kids could watch it.

And you know what? I did. I felt awful coming on this site and being accused of harming people that I wanted to support, but looking back, I don't regret it, because at least I'm here. And even considering some of the people I saw were straight, they were on my side, and that is more than some of us can ask.

It's ok to want your allies to treat you the way you want to be treated and It frustrates you if you feel like you are being idealized, but kids aren't perfect activists and groups aren't monolithic. Don't make serious accusations just to make people who most likely care feel bad.

[vtori73]

Hmmm... probably shouldn't try writing this right now while lacking a decent amount of sleep BUT I can no longer escape complaining about it so I'm just going to DO IT...

Anyway, so, I keep seeing posts by people sharing counter arguments to posts complaining about people not reblogging their work and just... I'm not sorry to say this but none of these counters i've read so far make any sort of good arguments and kind of just prove the point that a lot of us artists/creators are already very aware of and that is that a LOT of y'all feel entitlement to our creations (regardless of if ur an artist or not).

Don't get the connection? I'll try to explain. Let start with breaking down some of these counter arguments I've seen. The flimsiest one being accusing people of 'guilt tripping' & yes I do think it's flimsy argument/accusation. For one, the artist is NOT literally forcing you to do anything you don't have to ACTUALLY share anything but for the artist it means a lot and could lead to them making actual money that they NEED but can't get elsewhere because we live in a capitalist society. If it bothers you, guess what, you can UNFOLLOW them (it's free) and artists shouldn't be made out to be the villains because they are being honest that the shares/engagement are just THAT important for them (unless they are literally harassing u but that's diff, let's all acknowledge that a diff thing... good? Good!). I don't really see it all that different from panhandling, sure you might find some artists who aren't actually poor poor BUT I would hope most of us are aware of by now that only a very very small percentage of artists are actually living lavishly and at most are making decent enough for what they do. Also, I know we all LOVE to complain about this age of influencers and how things have to involve engagement, likes, etc but for fucks sakes don't be dicks and forget SOME people DO need that bullshit because they can't get their shit out there otherwise & if their shit isn't out there they can't make money, and we need money to fucking live in this nightmare world!!!! You could also just BUY from the artist instead because you know what's even BETTER then online bullshit? ACTUAL FINANCIAL COMPENSATION!!! 'oh but I don't have money, I'm poor too, I can't right now, I would rather give to someone I know who REALLY needs it, etc" all valid responses (that you should keep to yourselves because we don't need to know ur business) BUT you can't have ur goddamn fucking cake and eat to, if you can't support us financially THATS why/when we ask for reblogs/reshares, etc because guess what?... Yeah, you guessed it, it's FREE to do that shit, sure likes are... SOMETHING I won't argue they aren't BUT at the end of the day it doesn't get the artists work to others, it doesn't help spread their artwork to others who might actually be able to pay/hire the artists for their skills.

... okay, so yeah I hope that all makes sense, if not... oh well this is as coherent as sleep deprived me can be. Moving on, I'm going to tackle the next argument which is "likes are engagement too, they mean something TOO ME!!!🥺🥺🥺" ...Ugh 🤮🤢🤮 yeah, this argument is... also bad. Why? Well for one it makes it about someone else, just because YOU are okay with only likes doesn't mean everyone else is especially since not everyone needs the same amount of engagement/support as others since some or even plenty of y'all arent ONLY making income from ur creations/art and have other venues of support unlike some other artists who rely on their art to bring in money. &, I KNOW we are all aware that's not how social media works, social media doesn't put much worth into just likes which is what most artists mean when they complain. They aren't LITERALLY saying your likes mean nothing to them and that you might as well have just spat on them & their work you FUCKERS but I feel like we should all be aware that's what these artists meant, right? Right? Well, y'all should if y'all pay any attention to social media/artists (and please, PLEASE don't try to lie and say yall don't because I know that's bullshit with how much commentary & criticism I see on this & that regarding social media & the claws it has in all of us and our passions/livelihoods etc whatever).

I... think I had another counter argument to a counter argument but I honestly don't recall either so for now I'm just going to wrap up this horrible post. So... you all like to go on & ON about supporting artists, about supporting individuals and not corporations, about supporting indie titles TRUE indie work... and yet... And yet, when these artists & creators go on to complain about no one reblogging/retweeting/sharing, etc their work that they have worked very long & hard for that they are trying to use to stay afloat in our capitalist society y'all are quick to go 'oh y'all are so mean to guilt trip us & this artists who clearly doesn't need engagement for xyz reasons says they appreciate just likes so why should we!!!" I've already known this for awhile, and it's not a hard pill to swallow either, it's just a fact of life that people don't actually want to support artists, it has to be easy, or quick or something, it has to be in the way y'all want to support us, otherwise y'all won't bother and instead of leaving it at that y'all dare to COMPLAIN about US, and it's... its entitlement, pure entitlement to us, to our creations and I just wish yall could acknowledge that, just... be honest with yourselves, with us... please.

Anyway yeah... this was directed at specific posts I saw, and maybe I'm being harsh but I'm just tired... so so tired & not just because I'm lacking sleep but also I'm just so tired as an artists and dealing with seeing day in and day out of basically almost NO ONE caring at all about us or our work. I'm just so tired of all of y'all and maybe next time instead of complaining about x mainstream media thing maybe just... go partake in it instead? I mean, at least those creators/artists were already compensated & don't actually really need y'all's shares, follows, etc, all y'all got to do it consume the media, which is what y'all actually wanted... right?

[socialanxietyconfess]

idk if this blog is active but I'll take my chances i rly want to buy cute clothes but malls make me anxious bc crowding and loud but I'm too nervous to spend money online bc I get scammed too much and I don't want things not to fit me and I feel bad enough wasting money also my gf broke up wt me bc I was too anxious to do things like hold hands in public or go out a lot but I guess I'm over it

Hiya

Well, its not active as it used to be! Still here though :).

Malls can be of the worst places for someone with anxiety because there are usually so many people, noises and other things going on. It can get a bit overwhelming lol! I dont know what I can suggest other than try visiting some place thats less popular.. you could also try to visit the mall at times where you konw they are not going to be very busy. I have a friend that is also scared of buying stuff from online, but honestly it is not as bad as you think. If you buy your clothes from online from a big chain, you’re very unlikely to get scammed as they wouldnt want to ruin their reputation. Thats how I see it anyway.

Im sorry about what happened. It’s not nice of someone to break up with you because of things that you cannot always control. Maybe you would benefit from some professional help if you feel the anxiety is getting in the way of your daily life.