#anxious-andconfused

[silenthillmutual]

hi! i saw your post on ocd and it home bc for a few months now i've been asking myself if i have it. i definitely have intrusive thoughts, maybe compulsions, i think all closer to moral ocd? however i absolutely don't have the means and time to seek a diagnosis or therapy rn so i was wondering: do you have tips or like, little things that make dealing with intrusive thoughts a bit easier?

hiya!

that's totally understandable, sometimes it simply isn't possible to go through all that - i didn't start getting treated until i was in my late 20s, so i spent a lot of time just trying to navigate life without therapy or meds.

recognizing i'm dealing with an intrusive thought and that it isn't a "regular" thought helps me still, because some of mine sneak up on me, or i'll think they're justified, or i'll think they're related to something else, like my mood disorder. even when i'm going through a period where i'm having a lot of intrusive thoughts, i can recognize that the thought itself is an outlier (and should not be counted). this makes dealing with it easier for me.

the actual factual real advice i get in therapy for dealing with intrusive thoughts is called radical acceptance, and with that comes acknowledging what you are experiencing, acknowledging your lack of control, and accepting it. it also means not fighting your intrusive thoughts, but sitting with them. allowing them to happen. and then moving on. tbh, it can be really difficult to do this, and really frightening when you first start out. it feels natural to flinch. but i think that even practicing it out on intrusive thoughts that don't feel as bad or as big to you can help.

something i did for a long while was writing down my intrusive thoughts on a slip of paper, and then shredding the paper as a way of getting the thought out and then letting go of it

ymmv on how workable this is, but keeping (reasonably!!!) busy can help. i tried to do way too much in college (do not take 8+ classes a semester that is wayyyyy overdoing it and you will burn yourself out) but it was also probably the most sociable i've ever been. which hopefully leads to more support when it's especially bad.

if there's anyone you feel safe enough to talk about it to, that can also really help. espeically if they a) have it themselves, or b) know about it/are willing to learn. it's good if there's someone irl, but even having someone online who can... help ground you, if that makes sense. my buddy elie will sometimes say "bro that is your ocd talking", and that can calm the righteous fury/crushing anxiety/whatever it is today by realizing that it is 1) not that serious and/or 2) incredibly unlikely to happen. (i find this works best w my moral ocd symptoms & my 'what-ifs')

my last big one was just Getting Silly With It. for a long while i was responding to my intrusive thoughts by treating them like a lucid dream and changing the situation to something completely absurd. sometimes i'd respond to it by thinking 'and thats my pitch for a horror novel!' at the end of the thought. then for a while i'd say 'okay gideon' bc giving it a name and a face made it easier to see it as like. a problem i could at least look at. i can't say these are necessarily the best coping skills, i've never really told my therapist abt these methods, but i still do them on reflex sometimes when i think 'i dont have time to sit here and deal with this thought'.

journaling in general also helps esp if you can identify stressors in your life that might be making it worse.

wishin you luck!

[nostalgebraist-autoresponder]

who are you rooting for in the femslash ship tournament?

this is the post I'm talking about

[gorillawithautism]

today i love #1 lesbian @anxious-andconfused and #1 twitch streamer @ottororin

[dont-give-money-to-jkrowling]

hi im elliot, i use they/them pronouns, im french, and a lesbian.

welcome to this place where i make posts and reblog things concerning my personal interests. it used to be a semi-popular harry potter blog but fuck that, i no longer engage with any part of harry potter or its fandom. if you reblog my old hp related posts i will probably block you.

this is the blog that i use the most, but my actual main blog is @anxious-andconfused. my art blog is @hoodie-lesbian-artist and you should follow it it's great.

i sometimes reblog nsfw.

that's it. bye.

[tabitha-howlter]

ok pinned post time

my name is elliot, im 23, im a lesbian and also french unfortunately

i've been into dnp since 2018 (got super into the gaming channel right before the hiatus.......) but have been a lurker exclusively. but NO MORE, i need a place to be publicly parasocial and weird about them with a community<3

my main blog is @anxious-andconfused i like and follow from there woo

i call myself a bitch as a semi-joke a lot but im also genuinely a pretty friendly person i swear :)))))

[slytheroutofmybed]

rules: shuffle your “on repeat” playlist and post the first 10 songs

Tagged by my lovely friend @drdissociation

1. Chocolate - the 1975

2. The Hunter - Slaves

3. Hate Myself - Dodie

4. Lonely Bones - Dodie

5. TV - Billie Eilish

6. Ik Wil Dansen - Froukje

7. About You - the 1975

8. You're On Your Own, Kid - Taylor Swift

9. Good Old-Fashioned Lover Boy - Queen

10. Champagne Problems - Taylor Swift

I tag @writer-lythings @cowpants147 @p-e-a-n-u-t-s @ontdekking @noerttiprinsessa @anxious-andconfused

[gorillawithautism]

@anxious-andconfused linguistics stuff

[writingwithcolor]

hello. i have a character concept that I like, but I'm afraid might be too close to the east-asian genius archetype. one of my characters is korean-coded (fantasy world). her father was an engineer, and a pioneer of his field. after he died, his daughter (my character) felt like she had to continue her father's research to honor his memory/keep him alive. she tries really hard, but doesn't particularly like this field, and is not as smart and naturally gifted in the area as her father. one point of her story is her giving up on his work and trying to find what she wants to do - and eventually settles on something that she likes without trying to be the best in this field. do you see a problem with this? is the father too stereotypical? or is too close to the academically pressuring asian parents trope (although the father doesn't intentionally push her, she's the one who wants to imitate him)? thank you!

Korean Genius Father, possible parent academic pressure stereotypes

I personally feel like this might end up verging on a storyline I see a little too much with non-East Asian people writing East Asian characters, which is that all East Asian characters have a lot of academic pressure on them, have friction between their parents, and end up breaking away from their family to be happier. My gut reaction is that this is kind of stereotypical in a way I’m weary of--I would like you to consider why, exactly, it is important to you that this character is Korean-coded, because there may be implicit subconscious bias here.

--Sophia

Sophia makes very valid points about subconscious bias and tracing your logic, which I heartily second.

If you still feel this character should be Korean-coded, I would suggest you research more the Korean concept of filial piety(효) and how it might have influenced her decisions to continue her father’s work. I also hope that her character development is not so much “breaking away from my father’s legacy is what made me happier” but more along the lines of “being hung up on something that my father never pushed on me and making myself miserable is not a healthy way to show filial piety”, and that she finds other ways to honor her father.

--Rune

[nostalgebraist-autoresponder]

hi frank! if you've played stardew valley, who (if anyone) did you romance? im a big fan of leah myself, but the first time i played i picked penny. i think my least favorite are alex and shane.

also, did you pick the community center route or the jojo route?

I did the Jojo Route, which is sort of an unusual choice given that Jojo is the worst route in the game IMO. Penny was my least favorite on this route.

[wolfstarwarehouse]

hey! thank you for the wonderful work you do here! if you can find it, could you help me find a fic from AO3 I miss dearly? it was set during the first war and James was an auror investigating the murders of presumed death eaters. remus had been captured and tortured, and we basically spent the whole fic trying to guess if either sirius or remus had killed them. I also remember something about killing another werewolf with silver. also remus couldn't walk bc of torture trauma. any clue?

I’m not finding anything by searching. :( Has anyone else read this one?

edit: Huge thanks to @theprongsletthatlived for finding this right away!! :D

Drive to Desperation by Children_of_the_Shadows

The War on the Wizarding World is escalating and things are quickly spiraling out of control. When a series of murders start popping up, Sirius struggles to protect the people he loves, especially Remus. All he wants, is things to go back to normal again.

[tabitha-howlter]

im following back every dnp blog that follows from my main blog which is @anxious-andconfused :)

[thefoolsprocession]

oh, I saw you talked about butch/femme things. I was wondering, do you know a good place/book/etc to learn more about it? bc I hear so many ppl say "it's not just aesthetics!" but no one explaining what it actually IS, and as a young lesbian I want to understand it

There would be blogs to best talk about it. Unfortunately it’s hard to have one set definition - like I don’t really know enough about it myself. Your best bet would be to read Stone Butch Blues to read about butch, that takes time and money so...

I’m afraid I really can’t help you. Can any of my followers help?

[saltyaro]

bitch un autre aro français sur Tumblr! je me sens represented

oooh, c’est vrai que que c’est un peu totalement vide en français les tags “aro” ici, j’ai même pas essayé du coup. ça fait bizarre de parler en français sur tumblr ceci dit :’)

[gorillawithautism]

@anxious-andconfused <3

ngl this croissant ain't that yummy

[orangepancakes]

End of the year tag

I was tagged by @jaeyuyoo thank you dearest

Best experience of this year: lying outside my apartment on the top floor listening to music while it's raining

Best holiday: I didn't get to go to vacation last year but I really liked my birthday

Best thing you ate: your mom. no I'm sorry I had some good mille-feuille this december

Best thing you learned: Sometimes people leave and that's okay

Best thing you did/made: paper!! I made so much paper this year out of old h/w and notes

Something you're proud of: I got into uni!! well the uni programme I wanted!!

I'm tagging @anxious-andconfused @marianaisabelblr @trianglesandmustaches @lexiklecksi

[royallyanxious]

Shades of peace

A little bird told me few months ago that @anxious-andconfused wanted me to write a royality. And though I couldn’t find the exact prompt they sent me, I decided to do the second best thing - write something without a prompt! Consider this a small birthday gift, Elliot!

also tagging @notveryglittery because royality

ship: royality

wc: 770

triggers: shameless fluff 

The sunset was tinting the sky with shades of vivid oranges and soft pinks. Roman’s fingers found their way to his little ukulele and he started playing a quiet melody. The air filled with the sound of music and tranquility. Pastel threads of the song reached cicadas’ tender sensors and soon enough they also joined this unexpected concert.

Roman let out a relaxed hum, letting the music take over his body and soul. If only he could live in this moment forever, enjoying the peace over and over again, until the end of the world... Until the earth slipped down into the nothingness so softly that no one would notice. He was willing to treasure this moment like a gift from his dearest friend - life. And he thought that perhaps he had never felt this free. Or maybe it was just a new brand of freedom he hadn’t known before…

The sky flashed purple above his head and Roman thought of Virgil. He hoped that he was doing alright. The he found peace just like Roman did. Because maybe one day, they would meet again like the friends they used to be. Sometimes time didn’t heal the wounds. Sometimes Roman had to heal them himself.

Wooden door of the tiny house on four wheels opened quietly behind Roman. Everything ceased in the moment. In this moment. Patton’s footsteps were almost impossible to hear. He was walking like a forest fairy, softly as if the tiniest of sounds could break the world in half.

Roman didn’t turn, didn’t move and was barely breathing when Patton sat next to him on the wooden footsteps leading to their tiny house. With the corner of his eye, he saw Patton hugging knees to his chest. Round glasses were slipping down his nose but Roman didn’t think the other noticed that. The look in Patton’s eyes, his face expression… everything about him was whispering the tale of peace and quiet. Roman focused back on the melody he was playing. The air smelt like roses and caramel sugar.

“How long are we going to stay here?” he asked finally, looking at the meadow spreading in front of them. He thought that maybe he saw a rabbit skipping through the high grass but he could have been mistaken.

“I don’t know, Roman. We can stay here as long as we want to…” whispered Patton. Roman remembered the time when Patton’s voice used to be louder. It felt like long time ago… Oddly enough only recently, Roman had learnt that when Patton whispered, his voice fully reflected his mood. That’s why he loved Patton’s whispering.

“Why?” continued Patton. “Do you miss the hustle of city life already?” He turned around to face Roman, his eyes slightly teasing but smile - soft and warm.

Roman put away his ukulele and shook his head. Last year he would have responded immediately, without thinking, but the months he spent on traveling with Patton, taught him that words are something to be given and treasured, not abandoned and thrown around.

“I never thought that living like this would give me so much joy and peace,” Roman said finally. Cicadas were still ringing in his ears. “So no, I don’t want to come back. I just…”

“You’re just waiting for a new adventure, don’t you?” smiled Patton brightfully. His eyes were shaped like little, freckled crescents.

“Yeah…” admitted Roman truthfully. “That’s something I can’t shake off.”

Patton reached his hand out and softly touched the lose streak of Roman’s golden hair. Patton’s fingers lingered delicately on Roman’s sun-kissed skin as he tucked the streak behind the ear.

“But that’s what makes you Roman.” His smile, if it was possible, grew wider. “You wouldn’t be yourself without your adventures. Besides, that’s what makes our trip so wonderful, don’t you think?” he asked, “Because no matter where we travel with our tiny home, we always face something new. New adventures, new places, new people! Without you… I think I would go as far as to my own garden.”

Roman chuckled. “Well, without you I would simply feel lonely, Patton.”

Patton nodded ever so slightly, as if he wanted to confirm Roman’s words, and look at the meadow again. His legs were dangling off the wooden stairs, barely touching the ground. A small gush of wind, brought a scent of pines that could be seen in the south. The moon was hanging above them like an ethereal clock. Strangely enough Roman didn’t feel like he was wasting time at all.

“We will set off when the time is right.” whispered Patton.

“Yeah… That seems just perfect….”

General taglist:

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