#i'll talk about your insurance all damn day

[sergeant-angels-trashcan]

manager: i don't understand how you are asking for copays

me: i'm not

manager: what

me: what

[ms-demeanor]

if we're like, showing graphs and stuff, this is the type that i think a lot of people on tumblr are thinking of when they think about the economy.

Only one third of people with family incomes below $50k spent less than their income each month. I would guess that a lot of people on tumblr who get aggro about this topic (and the vast majority of people on r/povertyfinance, who discuss this sort of thing a lot) fall into this earning category.

Real wage increases only matter if you got a raise (one third of workers got a raise last year, which means that 2/3rds didn't - included in the economic wellbeing report linked above). Whether or not rent is outpacing wages only matters if you're not going to be rent burdened (more than a third of renter households are cost burdened in every state and 12 million rental households spend more than half their income on rent). Employment rates lose a lot of meaning when you're working multiple jobs to make ends meet (the percentage of multiply employed workers was falling in the US from 1996 to the 2010s, when it plateaued, then it started rising slightly then collapsed in 2020 and has been rising steeply since then and it's too soon to tell if it's going to go back to the plateau or keep going up).

Four in ten adults in the US is carrying some level of medical debt (even people who are insured) and 60% of people with medical debt have cut back on food, clothes or household items; about 50% of people with medical debt have used up all their savings.

Tumblr is the broke people website and yeah, people who are working two jobs to afford $900 for one room and utilities in a three bedroom apartment are not going to feel great about the economy even if real wages are raising and inflation-adjusted rents are actually pretty stable. "The Rent is too Damn High" has been a meme for 14 years so, like, yeah. Even if it's pretty stable when adjusted for inflation it is stable and HIGH.

It's hard to feel good about the economy when you're spending the last few days of the pay period hoping nothing unexpected hits your account, and it's VERY frustrating to be told that the economy's doing well when you've had to start selling blood to buy groceries.

Sure, unemployment is low, that's neat. It's good that inflation has stabilized (it genuinely has; prices are not likely to fall back to pre-inflation rates and eventually you'll likely be paid enough to reach equilibrium, but a lot of people aren't there yet).

But, like, it costs eight thousand dollars a year out of pocket to keep my spouse alive. I'd guess that we've paid off about a third of the 40-ish thousands of dollars he's racked up since his heart attack. His medical debt is why I don't have a retirement plan beyond "I guess I'll die?" So talking about how good the economy is kind of feels like being chained in the bottom of a pit that is slowly filling with water while people on the surface talk about the fact that the rain is tapering off. Neat! That's good! But I can't really see it from where I'm standing.

Inflation really is getting better. My state just enacted a $20 minimum wage for fast food workers. The Biden administration has worked hard to reduce many kinds of healthcare costs. A lot of people have had significant portions of their student debt cancelled.

But a lot of people are still having trouble affording groceries and it doesn't seem helpful to say "your perception of the economy is decoupled from the reality of the economy" on the "can I get a few dollars for food today?" website.

[queen-of-deans-booty]

Fan Fiction: Final Part

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Female!Reader

Word Count: ~1.9k

Warnings: canon angst and violence, extra angst

Summary: Not only did Chuck write books about your lives, but a damn musical theater is putting a play on about your goddamn lives. You try to let them handle this one on their own but they're not letting you go, and it's time to bring insurance to make sure you never leave them.

Season Ten Masterlist

Author’s Note: I do not own anything from Supernatural. All credit goes to their respective owners. I love seeing any and all comments <3

x

Marie and Maeve are back in the auditorium but Marie is panicking.

"Hey!" Dean exclaims and rushes over to Marie. "Are you okay?"

"Not really," she gasps.

"Why don't you guys calm her down and I'll find wooden stakes in the trunk."

Sam leaves and Dean kneels down to get on Marie's level.

"Is Marie gonna get eaten?" Maeve asks.

"If we're lucky," you glare.

"Nothing is going to happen. Don't listen to her. Marie, look at me." When she does, he continues. "As soon as that curtain rises, we're going to be there to take out Calliope."

"This is all my fault. If I hadn't written this dumb play, none of this would've happened."

"First of all this play isn't dumb." You open your mouth to say something when Dean glares at you. "It's not dumb."

"I thought you didn't believe in this interpretation?"

"I don't. Like, at all, but you do. I need you to believe in it with all you've got so we can kill Calliope and save your friends. Can you do that?"

"Yeah." She takes a deep breath. "If Sam, Dean, and Y/N were real, they wouldn't back down from a fight. Especially my sweet, brave, selfless Sam. There's nothing he can't do."

"I'm not touching that subject," Dean shakes his head.

"Okay, let's do this!" She grabs a dark wig that the young woman was using who was playing Sam. "I understudy Sam. I used this for my one-woman Orphan Black show, last year. it's gonna have to work for Sam." She puts the wig on her head. "Writer. Director. Actor. I'm gonna Barbra Streisand this bitch."

Guess it's time for a fucking show. People pile into the auditorium once the show is about to begin to see this either rock or go up in flames. The curtains are closed so no one sees what's happening backstage. The girl who plays Dean walks past Dean wearing the amulet that Sam gave him all those years ago. You're not sure what happened to that necklace.

"The Samuelt?" Dean asks Marie.

"That amulet is a symbol of the Winchesters' brotherly love."

Sam comes back with three wooden stakes he's prepared for the fight that will happen. He hands you yours, and you yank it from his grasp angrily. All the girls line up and Sam scans them with a frown.

"Wait a second, where's Chuck?"

"Oh, I love him, I do, but the whole author introducing himself into the narrative thing is just not my favorite. I kind of hate the meta stories," Marie says.

"Alright, listen up, girl," Dean announces. "Now, you're all here because you love Supernatural. I know I have expressed some differences of opinion regarding this particular version of Supernatural. Tonight is all about Marie's vision. This is Marie's Supernatural. So, I want you to get out there, I want you to stand as close as she wants you to, and I want you to put as much sub and add text as you possibly can. There is no other road. No other way. No day, but today."

"Did he quote Rent?" Maeve whispers to Marie.

"Now, you get out there, and you kick it in the ass!"

The girls cheer from the pep talk and encourage each other. They all separate to either go backstage or on stage as they get ready. You and Dean stand on one side of the stage while Sam stands on the other side, all with stakes in hand. Marie slips through the curtain to address the audience.

"This is stupid," you hiss at Dean.

"Shut up and keep an eye out."

"Good evening, everybody! Welcome to our production of Supernatural. I'm not gonna lie. It might be a full-on Gallagher show opening up this piece. Uh, those of you in the front rows may want to use the ponchos we provided for you under your seats. You may, in fact, get wet on this ride. Um, I would like to thank the cast and crew--"

"She's stalling. Let's do this," Dean says to Maeve.

"Copy that. Curtain, kids. It's showtime."

The music starts playing, making Marie jump in surprise.

"That concludes our introduction for the night. Everybody sit back, relax, and enjoy the show."

Marie scurries on stage as the curtains open. The beginning number of singing your life introduction sounds and the girl who plays Dean steps forward. The song you heard when you first arrived starts playing, and she goes through the song about how John and Mary got together, had Sam and Dean, your mother dying, blah, blah, blah.

Dean seems to be enjoying the song while you're absentmindedly playing at the thing on your neck. You can't fucking believe Dean did this. When did he have time to search for something like this? Has he been planning this for a while? Was Sam in on it? You look over at Sam in time to see the big scary scarecrow appear behind him. Apparently, Dean sees it too because he starts warning his brother who is confused.

"Turn around!" Dean yells slightly lower than the music playing. Sam turns to face the scarecrow who grabs him. This is all happening while the girls on stage act and sing. "Come on."

"Do we have to," you complain. Dean drags you along backstage to get to where Sam is, but the younger brother is nowhere to be found once you get to his spot. "Where the hell did he go?"

The first act ends and goes straight into the next one where Fake!Dean and Fake!Cas are having a conversation on fake phones.

"Okay, you can pop in tomorrow morning."

"Yes. I'll just wait here, then," Fake!Cas sighs.

Another song starts playing which is a solo moment for the girl who plays Cas. You and Dean rush over to Marie who is already backstage. Apparently, she saw the moment Sam was taken.

"What do we do now?" she panics.

"Just, stick to the plan, okay? Keep singing until the scarecrow comes for you."

"Don't die, okay?" you grin and pat her back as you walk away from her.

Marie walks on stage as soon as Cas' part is over so she can begin singing her part as Sam. She is nervous about what's about to happen but is acting like a professional. The scarecrow appears behind Marie to consume her, and that's when Dean jumps into action. He jumps onto the scarecrow, forgetting he's on stage in front of a large audience. Both Fake!Sam and Fake!Dean keeps singing as if this isn't happening behind them. You look to the audience to see one of the members in the front row put his poncho on.

The scarecrow and Dean wrestle before the monster throws Dean across the stage over to you. He slides right in front of your feet, and Dean glares up at you.

"Help!"

"Fine," you roll your eyes.

You twirl the stake in your hands as you walk onto the stage. You're not fucking scared of this thing. You'll fucking take it down before it realizes what's going on. The scarecrow runs at you to tackle you but you quickly move out of the way before he can touch you.

"Missed me!" you laugh.

You jump onto the scarecrow's back to strangle him but he grabs both your arms in retaliation. He uses all of his immense strength to flip you over him and to the front of the stage. You quickly get up and ram your stake into his chest. You turn him so his back is facing the audience and yours is facing the backdrop of the set. You step back from the scarecrow when you see it start to tremble.

The scarecrow explodes in a purple goo substance, covering almost everyone in the audience. A bit of goo gets on your jacket to which you huff out in annoyance. You walk toward Dean and shove the stake into his chest.

"You're welcome," you scoff and walk off.

Silence falls on the audience until the guy wearing the poncho stands up and begins clapping. Everyone in the audience follows suit, and Dean steps next to a starstruck Marie.

"Take a bow, Sammy."

Marie, Dean, and Fake!Dean takes a bow for the audience. It's a good time to take an intermission for the rest of the crew to get ready for the final act. Sam suddenly appears with Ms. Chandler and the other young girl who went missing. It's time to finally get out of this shitty town and back to the Bunker, so Sam and Dean are saying their goodbyes.

"You did good out there, kid," Dean says to Marie.

"You're not so bad yourself."

"You know what? This has been educational to see the story from your perspective. Keep writing Shakespeare."

"Even if it doesn't match how you see it?"

"I have my version, and you have yours."

The light starts flickering to signal it's almost time to go on again.

"One minute, folks. One minute," Maeve announces.

You and Dean walk away from Marie, but she stops him from going far.

"Dean?" She must believe you're who you say you are. "You should have never thrown this away."

She gives him the prop Samulet he noticed earlier. Dean chuckles as he takes it, and he admires it.

"It never really worked. I don't need a symbol to remind me how I feel about my brother."

"Just take it. Jerk."

"Bitch," Dean automatically says.

He quickly realizes it's not Sam he's talking to and blushes in embarrassment. Marie laughs at him before turning to you.

"Y/N, look, I don't know what's going on with you, but the Y/N I read about has a love so strong for Dean that nothing can break it. I just thought you'd want a reminder of it."

You take two steps closer to her before Dean has a chance to do something.

"The last thing I'd want to remember is my lame-ass excuse of a husband."

You turn and walk away, not missing the way Dean's eyes fill with sadness and hurt. What you're saying to him and about him is really hurting him, and that fact brings a smirk to your face. Dean pushes back the tears and walks to Sam.

"You know what, Dean? You were right. Staying cooped up isn't helping us. We need--"

It's as if the universe aligned perfectly because the next scene starts with Fake!Sam and Fake!Dean in the car. They're having a conversation that perfectly fits with what Sam was about to say.

"We need to get back on the road, Dean. Doing what we do best."

"What is that?" Marie asks.

"You're right, Sammy. Out on the road. Just the two of us."

"The two of us against the world," Fake!Sam says.

"What she said," Sam smiles and nudges his brother.

The scene moves onto a different one where all the characters get on stage to sing a cover of Carry On Wayward Son. Characters you know in real life. A girl steps on stage that you're not sure you recognize, but when you do, a smirk grows on your face.

"Who's that?" Sam asks Maeve.

"That's Adam. John Winchester's other kid. He's still trapped in the cage in Hell with Lucifer."

Poor son of a bitch.

"Carry on my wayward son / There'll be peace when you are done / Lay your weary head to rest / Don't you cry no more / Once I rose above the noise and confusion / Just to get a glimpse behind this illusion / I was soaring ever higher."

The song continues as Sam and Dean watch with raw emotion in their eyes.

"Masquerading as a man with the reason / My charade is the event of the season / And if I claim to be a wise man / It surely means I don't know / Carry on my wayward son / There'll be peace when you are done / Lay your weary head to rest / Don't you cry no more / Carry on."

You grab both of their shoulders and fit your head between theirs so they both can hear you above the singing.

"I am so glad I don't have a soul because that was painful to watch."

When you leave, Dean turns to Sam with tears in his eyes.

"Purifying her soul better work because I need my wife back."

x

Follow my library blog @aqueenslibrary​​​​​​ where I reblog all my stories, so you can put notifications on there without the extra stuff :)

[booboodaddysblog]

Disappointment

Part four

Warnings: arguing, crying, drama, breaking up

Words: 5394

—————

As soon as he got to work... it started again... his intrusive thoughts. Mean, debilitating thoughts. No matter what he did, he couldn't get rid of them. Why his brain wasn't cooperating with him?

He entered the police station in an angry mood. He noticed that Mare was standing at the front desk talking to someone. He didn't give a damn. He didn't even say hello to anyone. All he dreamed of now was coffee and his office. He headed to the kitchen and smiled at the sight of a full pot, freshly brewed coffee. He reached into the cabinet for a mug and poured a hot drink, inhaling its wonderful smell. He was already about to go to his office when....

- Has culture left you, Zabel? - Mare blocked his passage.

- I don't feel like talking. Let me through - he said with irritation.

- And do you know what I don't feel like talking about?

- I'm rather not interested in that - he rolled his eyes.

- What is the matter with you? Do you miss sex? - Mare laughed.

- I'm not complaining about the lack of it - he tried again to walk through the door.

- You are behaving really strangely. I think I will inform the chief to talk to you and set you straight. Zabel, we here do not tolerate such behavior. You might be in a bad mood. Okay. I understand, but you are supposed to behave culturally when you see me talking to the wife of the chief of our police station.

- What? I didn't know it was his wife - he made big eyes.

- She is a terrible gossip. In addition, she is in charge of inspecting all government employees in the county. There is no problem for her to transfer someone to another county. You wouldn't want that, would you?

Colin swallowed his saliva loudly.

- Fuck... no... of course not. Sorry, really. We've worse days with Marg...

- With Marg... well, exactly. Why is she away from work for so long? - Mare raised her eyebrows in thought.

- I... she gets sick... you see for yourself what the weather is like - he shrugged his shoulders.

- Interesting... just explain to me why the attendance list says Marg is on indefinite sick leave. And best of all, your signature is there. Don't make a fool of me, Zabel - she looked at him menacingly and closed the kitchen door. Now no one could hear their conversation.

- Mare...

- Talk! What did you do Marg? Is she dead or what? Well, because... I guess she's not pregnant?

- Mare... I...

- Oh my gosh! Are you kidding me? You're kidding me! Holly shit! I don't believe it! - Mare started laughing even louder.

- Mare, please be quiet - Colin tried to silence her.

- You came here a few months ago to help us with our investigation, and now you're going to become a daddy.

- I really didn't plan it - he sat down resignedly at the table and grabbed his head.

- Do you know what contraception is? - Mare also sat down at the table.

- Very funny - he looked at her and shook his head with dissatisfaction.

- How long has it been going on?

- But what?

- God, does it occur to you that you are going to be a father? - she sighed - what week is it? Or more simply. How long has Marg been pregnant?

- Hmm... it will soon be a month.

- A month? Wow. Okay... when did you find out?

- About two weeks ago.

- And you cheated on her with Roby when she wasn't in town... congratulations.

- How do you know? - he whispered.

- I know everything. Now I also know that Marg is pregnant.

- I beg... Mare... don't tell anyone. It's a fresh case, I don't want it to....

- Relax, I won't tell anyone. But the chief has already asked about Marg.

- Fuck... - he covered his face with his hands again.

- Okay, drink your coffee. In 30 minutes we leave. We need to talk to the owner of this factory again. Something seems to me that he transported the equipment somewhere himself to get the insurance money. It was definitely not a theft - Mare got up from the table - I'll see you in 30 minutes at the entrance - she left the kitchen.

Colin grabbed his coffee mug and quickly drank its entire contents. He shook his head to clear his mind and got up from the table. He put the mug in the dishwasher. He opened the kitchen door and looked out into the hallway. He looked around to see if anyone was around and left, quickly heading for his office. He didn't feel like talking to anyone anymore today.

——-

Colin returned home later than planned. It's always like this with Mare. She says they will finish at, let’s say, 6 p.m., but nevertheless they finish at 8 p.m. Then the report still has to be written. And so Colin enters the house at 9 p.m. Exhausted and dreaming of showering and sleeping.

He took off his coat and sat down on a chair by the door to take off his shoes. He was so tired that he didn't even have the strength to bend down. He straightened up and sighed loudly. He looked around the living room. Marg was not there. He began to listen. He heard the sound of water. She was taking a shower.

He got up with a groan and went to the kitchen to pour himself some water. He looked in the refrigerator and pulled out a slice of ham and a few pieces of cucumber. While eating it, he walked over to the calendar hanging on the wall. Marg scheduled pregnancy-related medical appointments. He liked the idea. He didn't have a head for dates, he always had to have everything written out in several places, otherwise he wouldn't be able to remember it.

He heard Marg leave the bathroom and go to the bedroom. He went upstairs and leaned against the doorframe. He watched Marg put on her pajamas. She sits down on the bed and starts brushing her hair. She was humming some kind of tune. She didn't realize Colin was watching her.

He walked over to her and sat down on the bed. She looked at him surprised.

- When did you come back? - she asked, putting the hairbrush down on the bed.

- About 20 minutes ago - he stood up and started taking off his clothes - I'm going to take a shower. Don't fall asleep without me.

He left the bedroom and went to the bathroom. Marg shrugged her shoulders at his behavior and went to bed.

Colin returned after 30 minutes and lay down next to Marg, but his back was turned to her. He was convinced she was asleep.

- How was your day? - she hugged his back and kissed him gently on the neck.

Colin was surprised by her sudden kiss, he was convinced she was already asleep.

- My day was... fine, nothing special - he sighed.

- Are you still mad at me? - she sighed too.

- No…

He didn't even hesitate to answer. It was obvious that he was not angry with her and had no reason to be.

- So one day I will be able to make a show for you again, and you will watch in awe? - she kissed his neck again.

He felt a bit surprised by her sudden mention, but he wasn't going to complain about it. It made him feel a little excited, but he decided to just keep his mouth shut and not say anything until she was done talking.

- Don't you want such a show again? - she sighed loudly and turned her back to him.

- What? No… I didn't say that…

He was confused as to why her behavior had suddenly changed so much. He wasn't sure why that was, or why she thought he didn't want that, when he absolutely did.

She turned to him again.

- So tell me, did you like what you saw? Me on the couch, touching myself, you in the chair across from me and watching?

- Y…yes… I…I enjoyed it... very much...

- If so, tell me more about it - she began to stare at him.

- Well… ummm…

He didn't expect her to ask him directly just like that. It made him feel a little uncomfortable. He didn't want to say anything stupid, so he pondered his answer for a few seconds before speaking up.

- I… I… just liked the way... you made...you made yourself happy... and... and that made me want to join you so badly....

- So why didn't you join me? I asked for it so badly - she raised an eyebrow.

- I just ... I didn't know if you were serious!

He tried to defend himself, but he really regretted it. Now he really regretted not joining in. "Fuck" he said to himself in his mind.

- I invited you several times, and you sat like you were glued to the chair - she rolled her eyes.

- I knew that, but I thought you were joking! Why would you want me to join you when you wanted to do it with yourself. It was supposed to be a show! - he found it increasingly difficult to remain calm - Why are we arguing about such silly things?!

This was already too much for her. She slapped him in the face. She was furious.

- I asked you several times to help me, but you just sat there and drooled at the sight of me! Why are you playing dumb now?! And you think all this was stupid for me?! Stupid?!

Colin was frozen. He was really shocked by the sudden slap in the face and didn't know what to say. He must have really screwed up. He deserved it.

He just realized that she was completely serious at that moment. He looked at her and saw the rage in her eyes. He felt ashamed that he had messed things up like that.

- I was so fucking serious! And you fucked up, Colin!

- I know… I understand that now…

He was angry with himself, not only for being such an idiot, but also for missing such an opportunity. He dreamed of it, but screwed up, as usual.

- I really don't understand it - she said in a calm voice. She looked like she was about to cry - I hate being pregnant - she whispered as if only to herself.

- I was scared, okay... that I would do something wrong - he said in a sad voice - I thought... I thought... that... I wouldn't be too gentle....

- I just wanted to end it with you, that's all.

- Sorry, when I'm tired I don't quite get everything…

- I was so fucking serious and desperate! - she slapped him again - you really deserved that slapped!

He closed his eyes and was silent for a moment.

- Okay, I get it… - he finally replied - I screwed up, I really get it...

She stroked his sore cheek.

- You'll be fine. I just didn't know what punishment I should have come up with for you.

- P…punishment? - he asked about it, although he definitely knew what she meant, he wanted to hear her say it clearly.

- Yes punishment, you disobeyed me when I needed you so much, you just screwed up.

- But what kind of punishment?

He still pretended not to understand what she wanted to say. Even though he was fully aware of what she was most likely planning to do.

- Fine, I have an idea for punishment. From today, no sex for two weeks. I will give myself pleasure when the urge strikes me. Without your participation, of course. I won't even inform you that I did it - she covers herself tightly with the quilt.

He felt a little uneasy about the idea. He wasn't sure if he would be able to survive two weeks like this. His head was full of thoughts, but he kept them to himself. He didn't want to act like he was begging her to change her mind.

- Well… fine… let it be…

- Just “fine”? Really? - she looked at him with suspicious eyes.

- What else should I say? I said “fine”, which means I accept your punishment.

- So the conclusion is that you don't care about sex with me at all?

- That's not what I said... - he said quickly, not wanting to start another argument with her - I only said that I accept your punishment, I didn't say that I don't care about sex with you, Marg....

- Explain, because I don't understand you. Be more specific, Colin… - she rolled her eyes.

- I just mean that… that I will survive these two weeks without sex. I just wanted to say that your punishment will not be.... will not be so bad for me.

- Won't it be that bad?!

He quickly realized that he had said something pretty dumb.

- I just meant that... I... I think I can manage without sex for two weeks... - he moved away from Marg fearing another slap.

- So what do you do when the urge for sex strikes you? - she asked curiously.

- Well, I just... I don't know... - he had to think for a moment before answering - I'll just masturbate and that's it - he shrugged his shoulders.

- Just masturbate… okay… - she nodded.

- What else should I do? I know you'd probably prefer it if I asked you to join me, but I don't know if I'm ready for that...

He felt really bad about it all. He didn't want a repeat of the "show”. He felt like he was always letting her down, like he wasn't proving himself as her fiancé. Maybe he shouldn't have asked her to marry him so soon...

- Okay, you are right. I didn't expect anything else. Sorry - she hugged his arm - you were thinking. What's the matter?

He didn't like to talk about his feelings and thoughts. Although, maybe this was a good opportunity for him to be completely honest about how he felt. Besides, he was stewing so much inside, and he was beginning to feel that he probably shouldn't keep so many thoughts to himself anymore. Maybe that's why he was always so stressed, he just kept too many thoughts locked up inside, and that wasn't good for him.

- Won't you be angry if I tell you?

- Go on, no worries.

- Well... it's just... I feel that... that, I'm not ready for this whole relationship... something is missing... and I feel that I made a mistake by proposing to you so soon... - at this moment, he preferred to stare at the ceiling rather than at her.

- Excuse me?! - she opened her mouth in surprise.

- I’m sorry, Marg! It's not that… that… I don't love you, I really love you... but I feel like...

He tried to say something sensible, but honestly had no idea why he felt that way. It was just something he felt deep inside. He couldn't explain it. He wasn't ready for such a serious step in his life. All these things made him feel confused and he started thinking about his previous relationship. About the failure and the breaking of the engagement.

- You don't want to be with me?! I don’t understand! - she was so furious that she was close to slapping him again.

- I just...

He was so worried now, he knew it would only get worse. He mentally prepared himself for another corporal punishment, if he failed to calm her down.

- Marg! I love you, I swear!

- You idiot! Did you forget, that I am pregnant?! You assured me that you would never leave me! Did you forget what you said?! Oh my god! - she started crying and screaming.

- Yes! I know… but…

He knew he was already making the situation worse, but he just couldn't back down now.

- I will still be there for the baby... just... just not as your fiancé, or husband... I'm not fucking ready!

- So as who! - she cried loudly, no longer knowing what to do. She felt like running away, now.

That's exactly right. He really meant it. He knew she wouldn't like it at all. He knew it wouldn't be easy. He couldn't stifle it in himself any longer. He really felt bad. So he just had to accept the consequences of his words.

- I’m sorry, Marg…

- What the fuck! Colin! I trusted you! I was so stupid!

- Just hear me out!

- Oh, what’s wrong with you?!

- You just have to understand me! It's not what it seems! I am not leaving you for another woman or anything like that! I just feel that I am not ready for such a commitment! Maybe it has to do with my previous relationship or childhood! I don't know!

- You are already an adult! Don't go back to your childhood! Grow up finally! In eight months you'll be a father, damn it! Zabel! - she shouted at him - If you're going to act like this all the time, I'd really rather become a single mother!

Her words hurt him, even though she was probably right. He shouldn't have behaved that way toward his pregnant fiancée. He had to accept responsibility and grow up, but he couldn't shake the feeling that everything was happening too fast. It was as if he had just been thrown into the highest level of adulthood without having experienced it before. And now he had to deal with it all. But she was right, it wasn't his ex's fault or his childhood. It was his fault. He longed to change, but didn't know how.

- Are you going to stare at me now and not say anything? Believe me, you are making your situation worse.

- No, you are right... I make myself look like a pathetic person.... I feel sorry for myself... I’m sorry, okay? I'm sorry...

His voice was breaking a little. He couldn't believe he had gotten himself into this situation, but now he was in too deep to back out.

- I really don't know what to think about all this. You really disappointed me, Colin - she said in a sad voice.

- I understand, I really understand...

He felt all the consequences of his honesty. He did not like such situations. He didn't like feeling this way. It was bad with him mentally and physically. He tried to say something.

- But please, you have to understand... I really care about both of you, I just....

He didn't know how to finish this sentence. He just didn't want her to be angry with him. But he knew it was too late for that.

- Just what?

- Please, you must try to understand my point of view... It's as if I skipped a whole phase of my life and now I have to deal with its consequences... and I'm not even sure I want to do that…

- So what do you want?

- I don't know... I care about you.... I just... I'm not sure I feel ready for this whole marriage thing. I know I'm not a child anymore, but looking at my life, I feel I still haven't grown up. But I still want to be around you. I want to help you raise our child.

- In that case, do you want to break up with me? - she felt anger sweep over her again.

- Yes…

He finally said the word he had been afraid to say for so long. It had happened, and it was too late to take it back.

- Fuck you, Colin! - she got out of bed, picked up some clothes and left the bedroom. She went downstairs.

He heard her start to get dressed and look for her car keys. She cursed him loudly.

- Wait! Marg! - he yelled after her when he heard her trying to open the door and leave.

He ran down the stairs, stumbling.

He couldn't believe he had fucked up everything like that. He now had terrible remorse. It was almost midnight. What an idiot he was! He hoped there was still a chance to fix it, but he knew that was highly unlikely.

- What?! Let me go! You've messed everything up enough!

- Don't leave yet, we still need to talk...

- About what?! You said you, were breaking up with me! - she tried again to open the door.

- Yes, but let me explain it a little more...

- Very funny! What do you want to explain? You have said enough!

- Well... as I said, I will be there for you and the baby, but as a friend, not as your husband...

- I don’t need a fucking friend! I need a boyfriend and then a husband!

- I'm sorry... but I don't want to be your husband... at least not yet...

- I'm leaving, really, enough… - she grabbed the handle and opened the door.

- Wait! Please! Please don't get in the car and drive away! Don't leave me! - he felt desperate, he didn't want her to leave him like this.

- I really don't have anything more to say…

- Are you going to just leave me like that?

He felt hurt that she decided to leave him so suddenly. He felt he was about to cry. It didn't occur to him what had just happened. He didn't want to believe that the conversation would end like this. He tried to grab the door handle and stop her from leaving.

- What do you want from me! I'm really tired, you know? Your behavior, Colin... I just can't take it anymore! I've been patient... but now... I'm leaving...

- Please! Please… just don’t go! I don’t want to lose you! Marg!

His fingers kept touching the door handle, trying not to let her just walk away. He didn't want to give up just yet.

- But you did…

- Yes, but... but I would still like to stay in your life! I screwed up! I know, I made a mistake! I don't know what got into me! I’m fucked up!

- I’m really confused, Colin. I need to think about it... but not here - she sighed - I don't want to be here anymore.

- Wait! Where are you going to sleep?

- My home.

- Are you staying there until you make a decision?

- I don’t know, I really don’t know.

- Well... I hope you won't stay like this for too long... I will miss you...

- I don't know if I will miss you. You disappoint me, Colin. It really hurts. I don't want to stress anymore. I'm pregnant, I can't stress.

- But… I… just…

He felt desperate again, and the thought of her being alone in her house, without him, made him feel even worse. He felt tears coming to his eyes.

- You just fucked up, Colin - she whispered and started crying.

- Fuck! Hey! Hey… don’t cry… please! - he was crying too.

- How? How do you want me to don’t cry? It’s impossible!

He was beginning to feel even more distraught, not only at the thought of losing her forever, but also at the sight of her upset in such a state, he was a terrible person for exposing her to all this.

He pulled her close and hugged her tightly.

- I know... I'm sorry really...

- I'm tired of all this...

He held her in a hug, not letting her go yet.

- I know... but please stay. I can't just let you go...

- You don't want me, I get it. You don't have to repeat or explain it to me.

- No, no… no I'm the one who messed up here... it's me, it's my fault... but we can fix it. I beg you to stay - he tried to fix it, he couldn't just end it.

- I want to go to sleep, I’m tired. But I don’t want to sleep with you. You’re sleeping on the couch - she released herself from his grasp.

- Please don't make me sleep on the couch...

- You did it to yourself, it wasn't me.

- I know, but... can't we spend one more night together? - he looked at her with pleading eyes.

- No.

- Please…

- I said no!

- So please, just one last hug!

- Don’t be ridiculous! You’re pathetic! - she moved upstairs to his bedroom - don't you dare come to me at night. You sleep on the couch, remember!

- I know…

He felt absolutely terrible about the idea of sleeping on the couch, it was as if she had completely pushed him away. He felt like he no longer had her trust, if not her love at the moment.

- Good night, Colin - she locked the bedroom door behind her.

- Good night, Marg… - he said with a slight defeat in his voice, watching Marg close the door. He then walked over to the couch to lie down on it, alone, feeling like the worst person ever - I love you, Marg - he whispered and closed his eyes.

———

Marg woke up at 5 a.m., sighed and got out of bed. She did not feel nauseous today. She felt pretty good, but she didn't get enough sleep. She went quietly to the bathroom. She saw that Colin was still sleeping downstairs. Being in the bathroom she cried, she couldn't stop it. She went back to his bedroom and started packing her things. She didn't want to leave anything behind. She quietly went downstairs and looked towards the couch where Colin was sleeping. He was breathing quietly. She was sorry that it didn't work out for them after all. She hoped they would get along somehow. Colin was apparently not ready for such a big step in his life.

She walked to the door and began to put on her shoes and coat. She heard Colin move.

He was still trying to fall asleep when he heard her moving. He opened his eyes and saw her getting dressed to go out.

- Are you going somewhere? - he asked, his voice sounding a bit tired. He was still half asleep, but he was beginning to feel that something was happening.

She did not answer right away. She merely looked at him with sad eyes.

- I'm going back to my house. I won't bother you with my person.

- But... - he got up quickly from the couch and walked over to her. He wanted to stop her - wait, we're not done talking...

- I don't want to talk to you right now. I want to be alone now, in my house. Please let me go.

- Can't you at least listen to me?

If only she had listened to him, they probably could have fixed it. That scenario in his mind couldn't look that bad, could it? He didn't want to accept that everything was over between them, at least not yet.

- Colin, please… - she felt she was about to cry again.

- Marg, please…

- I don’t know what to do… I don’t want to cry anymore - she began to cry while covering her face with her hands.

- Marg, oh no, please don't cry…

He felt terrible that he had put her in such a state. If only he had been more careful and not said such things, it probably could have been fixed. But no, he just had to screw it all up! He was willing to do anything to make her stop crying like that, she couldn't suffer because of him.

- I can't figure it out, I just can’t… I don’t understand you anymore!

A few tears also flowed into his eyes as he saw her break down. He really regretted not keeping his mouth shut. And the worst part was that he took the subject of their breakup as a priority, thinking only of himself. He just wanted to prepare her for the idea, not immediately pursue it. But, of course, it was clear that this did not go his way at all…

- I'm sorry, I'm really sorry.... - he said, desperately trying to comfort her.

- Please, let me go - she walked to the door.

- Marg, please don't go... - he begged. He walked to the door to block it from her and not let her leave.

- Please… - she was still crying, but forced herself to look at him.

He tried to hug her. He really hoped she would let him. There was nothing left for him to do but try to comfort her with his arms. He knew that this always worked on her. But he didn't know if it would be effective this time, too.

Marg stepped back, seeing Colin's intentions. She shook her head negatively.

- Please, don't touch me - she whispered.

Colin noticed what she was doing as she tried to push him away. She didn't even want him to comfort her... He really messed it up...

This sight was breaking his heart. Her tears and her closed off attitude... she was done with him... He felt his heart shatter into pieces. He felt weak, tottering on his feet. He was speechless.

- I have to go. I want to be alone in my house. I want to think it all over. I want to rest.

- Marg… please… I…

- No, Colin. Please understand. I want to be alone now - she pressed the handle and opened the door - I'm not leaving forever. As I said, I have to think it all over - she stepped outside. She looked at him with weepy and sad eyes - goodbye, Colin…

She left, closing the door in front of him.

He stared blankly at the door. He stood there, not believing what had just happened. Marg was gone, she had really left him. She pushed him away.

He started breathing deeply, not really able to catch air. It was as if he started to panic. He needed to calm down. He went to the window, tilted the curtain slightly and watched Marg put her things in the car.

It still didn't occur to him what had just happened. He found himself in the worst possible scenario.

She got into the car and started it. He watched as she slowly backed out of the driveway. He felt like running after her, but his legs were heavy. His body refused to obey him. He sat resignedly on the floor and covered his face with his hands. He cried, unable to stop it. His world had collapsed. It was happening to him again. He tried to tell himself that it wasn't really happening. This was some kind of nightmare. She had really left him and was about to start living her own life without him. He knew that he had absolutely no one to blame for his failure and stupidity except himself.

He got up from the floor and walked quickly to the kitchen. He opened the refrigerator and took out a beer from it. He opened it and drank the entire contents of the bottle. He moved the bottle away from his mouth and looked at it. He shouted and threw it with all his strength on the floor. Glass splashed all over the kitchen and cabinets.

- Fuck! Fuck!

————-

@robnovetre

Part one

Part two

Part three

[isopod-chan]

Another success story.

Trigger warning: cancer on a parent.

For context, read my previous success story, where I manifested my health insurance card back.

The day before I made that post, I was face with an almost identical situation, with identical success.

I had the hospital's business card with my next appointment written on the back. The doctor did this for both of my visits, so I had the old card and new card with me.

It wasn't until after new years that I lost that business card as well.

An unknown yet verified number kept calling me, and when I answered, it was a machine telling me about my next appointment. Unfortunately, I'm a frequent victim of random spam calls, so I just thought someone gave the wrong number and their doctor was now calling me (It had already happened multiple times before).

It wasn't until my mom remembered my appointment that we realized I totally messed up. One day of angry mom scoldings later, I was now searching my room up and down, left and right for that damn business card. Boy, the things that happen to me.

I kept thinking about that success post I made; saved in my drafts, unfinished. I knew the law couldn't fail me now, so (the loa girlies are gonna h8 me for saying this) I kept wishing to the universe to get another chance to write down the date and time of the appointment.

Call me again. The doctor will call me again. I'll have another call from the doctor's phone machine. I will find the card. I will find it written somewhere else. Dad or mom will get the schedule texted to them. I will have it sent to me. I don't care how, but whatever it takes, I will get that schedule.

I checked my messages. I tried calling back. I looked through all my purses and cabinets and boxes and pockets. Nothing. At one point, I just kept grabbing the old card on accident, so I threw it on my bed frame, but it fell under the bed.

Whatever. I'll get it tomorrow. I'm exhausted.

Tomorrow came, and I kept looking, now with a shorter deadline.

I checked my purse again, and felt something inside the pocket.

The old business card. With the old appointment.

I completely forgot I put it there to get it out of the way while searching. So if the old card was in my purse... that means the new card... was under the bed!!!

Sure enough, I found it, gave it to mom, and she was the most relieved mom ever. My surgery was fine, so mom used my appointment to go see the doctor herself, since other hospitals were too full for her urgent need.

Today, mom came back from the hospital with a gauze on her nose. I finished feeding our patient (we're caregivers; we work in our home) and left the room so she could talk to me in private.

Her suspicions were correct. The lump on her nose was cancer, and the doctor said it was "too dangerous to wait until June" (that's where the other doctors placed her appointment. Yeah, MONTHS from now). Any longer and it would've spread further.

My doctor is always prepared, so he quickly did surgery on her nose and removed the cancer completely.

My mother was saved thanks to my manifesting.

I'm at a loss for words. I don't even know how to end this post. I'm crying while writing this.

All I can say is, never lose hope. Never lose trust in the law. Never doubt your powers. You are so incredibly strong.

[nrdmssgs]

Darker matters (part 1)

Masterlist Next part

Comfort Pairing: Nikolai x Olga 'Zhar' Samoilova Summary: Saying goodbyes to her old life and finally getting a name. This happens a few days after A heart (part 4) Author's note: This is a sequel to A heart full of pity. Thanks: My eternal muses: @homicidal-slvt, @sofasoap and @gamergirlbonestaskforce141riot. These people started something beautiful and very important deep inside me. Thank you for a voice, i`m slowly getting.

“How did you even manage…” Price smirks, but his voice is soft.

“Let’s just say, I have a better insurance program.” Nikolai's hand lies down on her shoulder, as she signs one paper after another. Then his fingers brush her back in the most soft and caring gesture. 

Captain's gaze is louder than any words. You cunning scoundrel. And against all his habits, his old friend doesn’t turn everything into a joke this time. 

When the last signed document falls on his desk, Price sighs and sits down beside her. “A word alone, ok?” Nikolai immediately turns to exit the office, but Price adds, this time talking to him: “And you don’t try to sneak away, I still have something to say.”

Nikolai smiles ominously, leaving them two alone. 

Price looks back at her, lightly tapping his fingers on the desk. When he speaks again - he sounds different: uneasy, concerned. “How are you doing? What are medics saying?” 

“I’m gonna be fine, I promise,” she brushes Price off, but then sees her Captain's eyes and understands, she owns him much more than subterfuges. “Running or moving around fast in general is still not as easy as it was before. There is still much work ahead. But I won't let this throw me off the track. And Nik found an absolute genius of a doctor, that has been working with injuries like mine for more than 30 years. So, I guess, I have a solid support team.”

“Right.” John is relieved to hear it: no more problem denial, only willingness to work with whatever life threw at her. “Right, it's high time this man runs around for someone. Good for both of you. Now, listen to me: all these papers, you signed, to resign… I don't give a flying fuck about that. You are one of us, no matter where you are or what happens.”

She freezes for a moment, caging emotions. But John Price, the man, she idolized, looked up to, telling her, they are one team for life was too much. She jumps up and hugs him. And just before she is ready to let go - her Captain answers on that gesture. 

“One more thing. I may trust Nikolai with my life, but if he ever brings you down - don't hesitate to remind him, you have friends in the military.” 

She doesn't even step out - she flies out of Price's office. Never before has Nik seen such a wide smile on her face. He instinctively reaches out to her, but someone's hand falls down on his back and squeezed his shoulder tightly. “Now to you, comrade.” Price's grumbling didn't scare Nikolai, he just turned back to his friend and leaned against the wall. “You know, how much time I've spent on training this soldier?” Nik nods, still looking after her. “And you know, that this is one of the best urban combat strategists out there?” Once again, only a silent nod instead of an answer. “So you come marching into my office claiming, you'll get my lieutenant back in the game, then you take her ‘for a ride’ for a few weeks, just to return her for a day to sign resignation papers.” Price keeps his voice down, so that nobody hears them.

“And… she is back in the game, isn't she?” Nikolai looks back at Price with the most innocent eyes.

“She's in your game now. And I'll let this slip only this time. So remember, this is the first and the last time, you steal me of a soldier. A damn good one, Nikolai…” John straightens his shoulders and stands next to him, arms crossed on his chest. But Niks eyes are once again glued to a doorway, where she just disappeared. 

“I don't play this time. Anything, I tell her, anything I do - I mean it. Had enough games.” He finally looks back at Price and notices happy wrinkles at the corners of his eyes.

***

The first time, she tells him, Gaz doesn't believe her.

“Nikolai? Of all people out there…” He dodges a pillow thrown at his head and chuckles, helping her to pack her stuff. 

When they are done and finally sit on the edge of her bed - Gaz reaches out and hugs her with one hand. “Kyle? You think, I'm crazy?” It's only around him, when she allows herself to be soft, joking, silly even.

“For working for him? Na-a-ah, you'll do just fine anywhere. Sleeping with the guy on the other hand…” If she could grab her pillow - this time, it would definitely hit the target. But Gaz was prepared, so he pushes her potential weapon so far, it's out of her reach. “Relax, Lt, I just mess with you goodbye. Besides… I, too, may or may not have started to grow a soft spot for pilots.”

Her mouth falls open, and she hugs him back with a mischievous grin. “Next time i'm back, you are telling me everything! And if that guy manages to bring you down somehow - you just call me.” “Same goes to you.” Kyle thought for a bit and then added. “Just… make sure, Nikolai is away from his transport, and then call me.”

*** She awaited, that parting ways with Ghost would be most reserved and dry. When she came to his office to fetch some additional papers, he already had everything prepared and handed her tightly stuffed file. “Thank you, Simon.” She pulled the file from his hand, but he didn't let go, and she immediately tensed. Something was wrong? It must be his name, never before she called him like that. She slowly rose her gaze to his face. “Sorry, Lieutenant, won't ha-”

“Do you remember how to contact me in case of an emergency?” He looked confused, as this was the last thing, she thought, she'd hear. It caught her off guard, and she mumbled something incoherently, so Ghost repeated his question. 

The thing with Ghosts phone emergency numbers was that they were not to be written down anywhere. And it didn't help, that there were a few, and he made her learn by heart every last one of them. She thought, that at least now, when she's out of the TF - she may as well forget this information, but Simon had another opinion on this: he made her recite every single one for a few times and only then loosened my grip on the folder.

“Ghost? I heard this joke about reaching out to each one of you guys, in case Nikolai doesn't behave, at least for three times today. You don't find your version a bit over the top?” She flipped through the papers in a file.

“I'm not joking, Olga.” First time. It was the first time, he called her by her name. “I know, that man would never deliberately hurt you. But the business, he takes you to, this organization… Let's just say, that world, you're about to step in, is full of darker matters.”

***

Nikolai never thought, the hardest part would be to keep himself in hand after bringing her to his secluded house in the middle of nowhere. The way this woman, always reserved, weighing her every reaction, froze on the steps before his door. The way she stepped into this spacious house, sheltered from prying eyes by dense forest, reached an enormous panoramic window and just sank on the floor, made him weak. 

“You know, there is… a whole house to explore back there?” He sinks to the floor behind her and rests his chin on her shoulder, watching as she peers into the forest outside the window.

“Wait. Wait just a bit, please. This is so beautiful.” She does not take her eyes off the view. Nikolai looks at her face: from under the mask of a calm hardened soldier emerges a childish delight, long forgotten by her. 

Stay. 

He bites his tongue to not say it out loud: Nikolai knows, that this woman is not that easy to domesticate. A nice house wouldn't do the trick. But a sudden need to keep her right there, cover her from prying eyes, surround her with care, do anything just to make sure, shed be right there every morning and evening, is pressing down on him, squeezing his throat with a force that Nik had never felt before. For now a smile slowly blooming on her lips, as she watches wind high up in the crones, is enough for him.

He has to leave her for a few days to make final arrangements before their very first mission together in Chimera. And while this is not too hard - coming back to his house and finding her there, sitting in a hall on a first floor, surrounded by maps and files feels tough. Everything in the way, he finds her, reminds Nikolai of that time, they plotted an operation after the incident. Only this time he has a formal power to end it and keep her safe.

Throw away these plans, forget the maps, and just stay here. You don't need to go back to that battle. Stay with me.

He presses his face to her hair, drowns in her scents, and only that helps Nik to swallow his unspoken plea.

***

“So… still haven't changed your mind about sketchy call signs?” Despite the fact that Nikolai's voice is slightly distorted by the quality of the radio, she clearly hears the notes of a playful mischief. She shakes her head and points forward, trying to make him pay at least a slightest attention to what is about to start happening. 

“Aw, what a pity. And here I am, hoping for a little show.” Helicopter froze in one place, as they both needed a solid point for observation. Nik turned to the radio, but didn’t stop talking. “You know, there are mythical birds besides phoenix? Even in Russian fairy tales there is Sirin, Alkonost, Zhar-Ptitza, which is, by the way, a personification of eternal golden fire of sun itself.” 

Her eyebrows rose in surprise and disbelief. “Nikolai, we are about to start a full-blown armed conflict, and you have fairy tales on your mind?” “We are about to have some fun, Lieutenant, I just want you to enjoy it as much as possible.”

He switches on outer radio-chanel and addresses his subordinates.”Morning, this is your Captain speaking. This operation was planned and will be led by my second in command, Lieutenant Samoilova. Now, our rules were always simple: want to make money - make me happy. Today, we will give a test drive to a new rule: want to make me happy - make her happy. Her commands are my commands. Have fun, Chimeras, leaving you with your commander. Over.”

She is about to activate her own connection, when Nikolai catches her hand, and leans closer, as if they didn't speak through an inner radio. “Edgy names make everything more fun, i'm telling you. Last chance to come up with!”

She looks from him to a village underneath them. More fun, he says? She sighs and connects to an outer channel.

“Good morning, Chimeras, this is Lieutenant Samoilova speaking.” She stammers in mid-sentence, takes a last look at Nikolai and takes a deep breath.

“Call sign Zhar.”

Next part

[aufucker]

look I wanted to do a jack/bj thing but comedically by popular demand this just became #MakeJackPuke2024

So

Uh

CW: talks of decomp, puke

With the details of your job,  you expected the worst to be the sheer amount of gore and viscera you had to clean, the horrors of humans and the distress of lonely deaths and mental deterioration.

In reality, it was the bureaucracy. The dealings with insurance companies who were so divorced from the situations that you wondered what their purpose was beyond making you resent the nature of phones more and more.

But beyond even them, before the dreaded calls could even be considered, you had to deal with cops. And one in particular was becoming a big pain in your ass. You weren't sure if it was incompetence or just purposeless refusal that made any sign offs he did such a half assed mess that piled on your desk.

Officer Dean Whatever-The‐Fuck.

Had you not managed to dig and pry and argue your way to getting his personal number, you would have just assumed he was made up.

It was a miracle you got him on the line. Just a few papers, you told him. He spoke like *you* were an inconvenience.

"I mean, it is your job, after all." You reminded him. You wondered if your tone matched his enough. "'Less I got this badge number wrong. Can read it back to you if you want."

"No." The response was curt. You both knew it was right. "I'll sign them off tomorrow."

"Cute. We'll be cleaning the storage unit detail. You know the one, yeah? I'll have all the papers with me. I recommend parking about a block off and walking."

You weren't sure if it was a grunt or a half-hearted "mm-hmm" you heard before you were unceremoniously hung up on. You were pretty sure he didn't even hear your warning.

"Prick."

----

It was the middle of July; hottest damn day of the year so far.

A poor bastard perished in a storage unit. A hot, pressurized tin that accelerated decay. The respirators your team wore were barely enough, breathing in the humid air and the saccharine scent of boiling rot still bleeding through the seals.

It was like a bomb went off, with an odor that traveled. You were just simply in the blast radius.

You weren't sure if getting used to the stench was better or not, but the nearly desperate chugging of water was the only relief the lot of you cared about, sitting in the barely cooled shade.

A hand slapped against your bicep, an eager attempt to get your attention by your teammate. And you saw what he wanted to point out - a cop car approaching the retired scene.

Approaching the blast radius.

"Oh, shit." One murmured into the plastic bottle, a smirk struggling to keep from his lips.

"Think he's gonna puke immediately?" Asked another.

"Nah, nah, I'm feelin' a fight for it. Get a couple gags in first." Replied someone else.

"You told 'em, like, to park away from here, right, BJ?"

You finished off a other sip from your lukewarm water bottle, sighing before you spoke, "Think that dude's gonna listen to a glorified janitor?"

"Mm, nope."

"Yeah, nah."

"Welp. R.I.P. to that guy."

It was a sight you had seen time and time again, all with varying degrees of the same results.

Step out, realization, vomit.

This time, you opted to prepare a meager mercy with a spare respirator. You had a back log of documents that had to be signed, afterall. Documents you'd rather have clean.

You were just going to watch the show, first.

The man who stepped out didn't look how you expected; a lean sort of guy in a uniform that didn't seem to suit him at all, like a stuffy costume more than anything. Silvery hair in some sort of soft mohawk? You couldn't quite tell from where you were sitting.

But you certainly could tell body language.

Your teammates leaned in, watching the motions take place.

The step out from the car, the scope of the scene with the air of ego with hand on the top of the car door. If he had shades on, you'd expected him to take them off.

And then...

The balk. The impact. The punch of sweet rot to the face that made eyes bulge and a free hand hopelessly reach for the mouth. A jerk of the body, a struggle to keep from folding in on himself -- you had to admit, he was a bit more of a fighter than he looked.

He had enough sense in him to stay behind the car door, but the sounds told enough for what sight couldn't manage. The retching and the splashing of fluid on the shimmering asphalt.

It was greeted with the applause and howling of jackals. A cacophony of cleaners met with an olive glare.

You weren't shy with your amusement, but you certainly kept your volume of knowing glee down as you yelled to him,

"See, that's why I said park away! Gets worse the closer you get!"

[tiikerikani]

Enough is enough

I've been in an insomnia death spiral for a while, and it is REALLY BAD right now. I sometimes say that I wish days were 28 hours long so I can fit everything in, but at the moment I'm thinking I need 32-hour days, if not longer. My brain is flat-out nope-ing out of work and it is even more exhausting trying to goad myself into doing it.

It was Senpai's birthday a couple of weekends ago, and while I'd already delivered my greeting (and a small pencil sketch) to him at the book launch, I also wanted to do something meaningful for the occasion, and I think that he would have been 100% behind me doing this:

I dug out the post-it note on which the one psychiatrist at the beginning of the panini, who had actually listened to me (see footnote 4), gave me the name of a place that does neuropsychological testing in English, and I emailed them. So I'll be having a consultation with one of their clinicians next week to get that process started.

Back then I'd balked at the price (and it was quite out of my budget at the time, almost a months' rent), and it still is a LOT of money (with the various followups and formal diagnosis from a psychiatrist and so on it will definitely be more than that especially when I don't have the health insurance that Old Job had provided), but I am in a bit better situation financially now.

I wrote "actually listened to me" in paragraph 3 because every other psychiatrist I talked to since then had been incredibly dismissive of my experiences. It's especially frustrating when you pour yourself out to them, about how so many of your eccentricities and the traumas of your childhood suddenly make sense when considered in light of what we now know about (inattentive) ADHD, and they tell you to your face that no, you don't have it, go take a nap. One doctor at least gave me an official referral to psychotherapy but I didn't use it because 1) you're on your own to find a therapist (good luck, lol), 2) you have to pay for most of it anyway, and 3) it's not going to be effective if it doesn't address the root cause(s) behind that trauma.

On further reflection, I now realize that these "death spirals" were not ordinary burnouts (if that can even be a thing) but specifically ADHD burnouts, so it's even more imperative that I get to the truth at the bottom of this. It can very well be that I'm too damn tired for tests to properly show my baseline, but structured cognitive/behavioral/whatever tests will have some kind of rubric and maybe even quantitative measurements so it will be less about how they feel about what I tell them about myself but what the scores say about it.

But what's more, I now have copies of the figurative receipts. When I was visiting my parents last year I made scans of all my old report cards and other school records (that Mom meticulously organized and kept). Not every single page but those with grades or teacher/parent comments on. I don't really have any interest in reading through them myself. Some of the criticisms areas for improvement my teachers had for me are still etched in my mind 30 years later, because I couldn't "fix" them then (and not for lack of trying) nor really understand why I should (be like normal people), and still can't and don't. I will not enumerate them here.

_________

TL;DR:

I don't care what it costs (a lot) but I am (finally) getting my damn brain tested for ADHD because I can't manage it on my own anymore while pretending to the world (and the world trying to tell me) that my problems have nothing to do with it.

[the-fiction-witch]

Seventeen p12-14

Media The Maze Runner AU

Character Newt

Couple Newt X Reader

Rating Sweet AF

Seventeen Series

I sat in the office and the discussion began

"So what brings you in this morning Mr. Newton? I assume about Isaac given" she says looking at me

"Yes, it is. You see his many injuries"

"I do, has he had an accident at home?"

"No, as a matter of fact, these were caused here. By one of your students yesterday."

"AHH yes the janitors did leave me an email so I have been partially briefed on the situation"

"I'd like to know why there was no intervention firstly"

"Well we don't often step into altercations between students unless absolutely necessary We find it helps their social skills and of course, this was after final bell and clubs so really hours is not our jurisdiction"

"Regardless it was on school property if your janitors knew enough to tell you why didn't they intervene?"

"Well, it could have risked injury"

"Injury? My son has a black eye and a thousand other cuts after being slapped and kicked into the wall. I'm sure insurance can cover whatever damage that seventeen-year-old could have done to your janitor"

"Yes but I meant Injury to him"

"Him? The other boy involved!"

"Yes you see the other half of this altercation was student Ben Smith and you see-"

"Let me guess. His parents are on the board?'

"They do add a lot of funds to the school, but it's mainly due to him being one of the stars of our track team a real example of the school and if he were to get hurt that could cause Issues in upcoming competitions"

"Okay, I see. So because the track team is the shining example of the school, all the kids are treated like gold stars are shinning out their asses and can do whatever they want. The rest of the kids namely my son who I will mention is captain of the scholastic decathlon team which has won more trophies, wins and subsequent funding in the last two years than in the last fifteen of your previous track team. These kids have to stiffen their lips and deal with the assholes who can run fast. I have that right?" He asks and she is completely stunned "I expect an apology from the boy, from his parents and from you by the end of class today or I call the police on that little thug. Have a nice day Miss Paige"

I was admitted pretty damn impressed. 

Go, dad!

I followed him out and by now people were busy so I walked him out

"Have a good day okay"

"I'll try"

"Anything happens let me know"

"I will do Dad. Thanks for everything"

"No problem. Hey, what's this Ben Smith drive anyhow?"

"Blue Corsa why?"

"I'm gonna key his car on my way out" he smirked "Hey, talk to y/n today"

"I told you I can't -"

"Just give it a go, maybe the whole Florence Nightingale effect might kick in with that eye. But you actually grow some balls and talk to her today we'll get pizza for dinner"

"I'll try"

"Alright, see you at home" 

I felt a lot safer but I still kept my head down just trying to get through the day without getting beat up again when the bell went for lunch I scampered too the haunted boy's bathroom so I could put some cream that my mum gave me on my eye "Owww... Owww... owww" I whined as every time I put pressure on my skin it hurt and honestly the cream kind of burnt Once I was done I headed out to the usual bench Alby was off elsewhere likely had a class president meeting or something so the table was a passed out zart, fry working on adding cheese to his cafeteria supplied fries and.. some dust I don't know what, Thomas who was sat clearly texting Teresa as he had a wide smile and his backpack over his crotch, And jack sat at the table in his jeans and blue button down.

Jack Hampton, was one of the younger kids, I think he is in my maths class I'm not sure, but he was well known as the tech kid, he is who the teachers call when the smart boards fuck up, he is the one you bring your glitching phone, and the one who offered a complimentary walkthrough service for any videogame issue you could bring him. 

I sat down at the table and ran my hand through my hair 

"You okay man?" Fry asks

"I mean... I can't completely see, it hurts to breathe and walk, I'll keep you updated on my system later if you want"

"I'm good, Ben really took it out of you" he laughs 

"That's why I'm here," Jack says

"Right, Hi Jack" I smiled 

 "I am here to offer my services" He says grabbing a card from his jacket and handing it over, it was a literal business card with his name, number and email address 

"Services?"

"I offer many different services for any price range, I can go from mild to intense cyberbullying, I can do hacking, docking, and if you have the cash I can do my full destroy life package he'll have his life destroyed, get cancelled and have to move away" He explained

"Uhhh I'm good thanks Jack"

"You sure?" 

"Yeah, I'm good no cyberbullying" I told him going to hand back the card

"Keep it, my services are always available," he says before heading off elsewhere 

"I'm scared of that kid," Thomas says

"Yeah, I think we all should be" I nodded 

I didn't have much lunch left so I went to my locket threw my lunch in grabbed the books I'd need for this afternoon, I heard a gentle tap on my locker door and I didn't even bother to look.

"I told you Tommy, I don't have tomorrow's test answers," I said

"Ohh that's okay" Her voice spoke up

I know that voice! 

I looked through the small vents in my locker door and saw her sweet face immediately I fixed my hair and shut my locker door 

"Y/n! Hi" 

"Hi" she smiled as she stood in her sneakers, little cheerleader's uniform her books close to her chest 

"You... uhhh you wanna talk to me?"

"Of course" she smiled "I...I wanted to apologize"

"Apologize?"

"I felt awful when I heard what happened last night, It broke my heart that you got hurt because of me," She says looking into my eye, her face making it clear she is upset "Are you're eye okay?" she asks trying to reach my eye but I moved back

"It's okay it stings a little is all,"

"I've spoken to Ben he was such an ass for what he did. I promise it won't happen again"

"Thank you, I didn't think -"

"I hate to think I caused you so much trouble over a slushie" she says getting something from her pocket and offering me some money enough to cover the slushie

"No, please don't worry about it. It's not your fault Ben was just being a dick it's okay really" I told her folding her hand back in around the money and pushing it close to her 

"Still I feel terrible about it. Here, I made you something to say sorry for everything that happened, and to make you feel better" she says getting a little black box from her bag 

"For- for me?"

"Umm humm" she nods 

"Y-you're sure?"

"Of course" 

"This- this isn't some prank from the cheer squad?" 

"No, they don't know. I was worried they'd stop me" she says "Here take it"

I happily took the little box "Thank you, so much y/n"

"You're welcome" she smiled "Are uhh are you coming to the track meet tonight?"

"Oh, No. I have a meeting with the scholastic team" 

"Oh, that's okay I'll see you around then"

"Yeah, see you around. Thanks again"

"You're welcome"

"Good luck with the track Meet tonight"

"Thank you" she giggled "Good luck with the scholastic team" she smiled waving as she headed down the corridor 

"Thanks" I waved until she disappeared 

She spoke to me! I touched her hand! She gave me a present! She all but asked me on a date! She wished me luck on my team... I think I might faint. 

Fuck! I locked my key in my locker... 

Well, Guess I'm off to the office. 

[eternallyanxiousandstressed]

So, I got to see Luke yesterday for the first time in almost 2 months. It went pretty good, I think? At least on the visiting with Luke part.

He didn't recognize me at first. I mean like, he was super shy and it almost seemed like he didn't want to see me. But he warmed up to me pretty quickly. I got to give him lots of loves and kisses and whatnot. I got to walk around just holding him for like 30 minutes because he didn't want to be in his stroller anymore.

He apparently likes slapping you in the face and also he loves putting his hand it your mouth and like grabbing your teeth. It's hard to explain. But if he does that he won't let go unless you "nibble" on his hand. It was really cute. He also really liked when I jerked my head away from his hand so he didn't grab my glasses. He giggled so much for that.

Anyways, now for the Ratboy part. Below the cut in case people don't want to read about him.

So, Ratboy made a comment when I asked about something Luke wasn't doing. I had simply asked if he was talkative yet, because when I had last seen him he wasn't talkative at all. This asshole... He fucking was like "He's usually pretty talkative. He's being shy because he hasn't seen you in two months. He was talking all the way here!" as if it was my fault. Trying to organize a ride last fucking minute isn't exactly the easiest thing to do. I have a car but not only was I letting some family use it (while I was with Ratboy we just used his car, it was simple), he wasn't giving me enough money to have gas! $40 a week for food, necessities and gas? Like, what did he expect me to do? Go without food so I could fill up my gas tank? Yeah, that's gonna work out great. (Luke did eventually start being talkative with me. His babbling is so cute)

Anyways, so that was at the very beginning of the visit. Then, I bring up my portion of the tax refund. I was talking about how I was going to use it to try and fix up my car a bit and for gas so I can see Luke easier. He then tried to tell me how to use my own part of the goddamn tax refund. Like, this asshole really fucking tried to control how I spent my money. He did send me my part of the refund though after our visit. So I'm going to get my car's tabs renewed because that needs to happen. And I renewed my auto insurance (I got a great fucking deal at progressive by the way, like damn). And I am paying off part of my credit card debt. But I'm keeping it in my account for my own bills and you know what? To buy a few things to treat me. I think I deserve that. I'm also going to be buying a new carseat and stroller to keep in my car for Luke and that will be kinda spendy.

Anyways, after we parted ways I texted him about pictures he took and to send me my part of the refund. But my dad talked to me and basically told me not to make the same mistakes he did with us. He told me to enforce my legal right to see my child whenever I want as his mother who has legal custody of the kid. So, I pretty much texted him and told him that I'm going to start picking up Luke more. I told him I'll try and tell him the day before because I want to at least be courteous, but if I want to see Luke, I'm going to. I also told him that I want to know where he is when he is being babysat as I don't like not knowing where my child is (and according to my dad, that is illegal, keeping my child's location from me). And I also made sure to rub in that I can also babysit considering he's my goddamn child. He asked me why I was being so aggressive all of a sudden... Sorry asserting my rights as his mother is aggressive but it's gonna happen.

I need to tell him that he needs to start communicating better, because this answering texts maybe once a day thing cannot be happening, especially with me seeing Luke more. I made plans to pick Luke up on the 30th so I can go take him to visit my aunt.

OH! Okay and this part. I am Luke's mother. I should be part of planning his first birthday, should I not? I got a Facebook invite to a get together for his party. I haven't been on Facebook, so I had to ask Ratboy what was happening and he said "Oh, my mom sent a Facebook invite." Like... wow. Just wow. Anyways, so I want to plan a party for Luke that my family can come to. But also, I'm going to be picking Luke up earlier in the day on his birthday because I want time with my son on his first birthday where a bunch of other people aren't going to get pissed if I hold him the hold time. I will be bringing him around to my family up here though so they can see him for the first time in months. He still hasn't answered my text about what time would be best to pick him up. So...

I am pissed and trying to deal with this manchild is the fucking worst. I don't know how we're going to coparent when I divorce him, but he's gonna have to figure out communication because yeah... This is ridiculous.

More to come, I'm sure.

[prof-polaris]

{Bzt-rt! This post is brought to you by Rotom Phonecall Transcripting Service! Everything with a **** has been blurred out for security reasons! Zrt!}

Hospital staff: (Official, but mildly confused) Hello this is ******* Hospital, I am calling on account of one- uh. Sprite? He is refusing to give us a legal name or a parent's cell phone number. It gave yours instead, stating that you would speak in place of a legal guardian?

Indigo: (Pleasantly) Ah yes, I am Indigo, I've been expecting your call.

Hospital staff: (Pleased) Oh good. Could you give us a legal name for Sprite? Indigo: Nope.

Hospital staff: (Baffled) N-no? You can't?

Indigo: I won't.

Hospital staff: (Hesitantly) ….could you direct me to someone who can, such as his legal guardian? Indigo: No I cannot.

Hospital staff: (Frusterated) Then, you have to understand that we have to call the police, this is a minor out in the snow! If you refuse to cooperate-

Indigo: (Pleasantly) Would you tell me your name? Hospital staff: (Confused) ...what? Indigo: Your name. Tell me.

Hospital staff: …****

Indigo: Excellent. ****, are you native to Sinnoh? Lived here for a long time?

Hospital staff: …Yes, born and raised, but I don't see how-

Indigo: **** do you know who the ***** family are?

Hospital staff: …..

Indigo: I'll take that as a yes. See, I am the firstborn of the ***** family. Indigo. Does that ring any bells for you?

Hospital staff: Yes, but-

Indigo: Then you understand what you are putting on the line here if you don't listen to me, correct?

Hospital staff: …yes.

Indigo: (suddenly very serious) Good. You listen to me, and you tell the other workers this as well. You will treat Sprite with the utmost kindness. You will give it the highest amount of care possible, a place to sleep for the night, and breakfast in the morning, as well as its pokemon and stuff back to them immediately.

Hospital staff: But- protocol states-

Indigo: (Aggressively) Do I sound like I give a damn about protocol? So help me Arceus, if you don't treat Sprite well I will come to Sinnoh myself to talk to the CEO of this hospital. And it will not be a kind conversation.

Hospital staff: ….

Indigo: (pleasantly) Ah, and also charge all of Sprite's fees to my account, and put it under my insurance. Have a nice day!

[beetroot-merchant]

ID: A Twitter thread by user @/TheRealDoctorT, display name Sayed Taabatabai, MD:

"Why do you want to be a doctor?"

I answer without hesitation, "I want to help people."

"There are many ways to help people."

"I want to save lives."

"There are many ways to do that too. So I'll ask you again, why do you want to be a doctor?"

"Because I believe in it." 1/

I think about that exchange now and then, some times more than others.

Why do we do the things we do?

What do we really believe in?

My next clinic patient is one I've known for many years. He is visiting me today via Zoom.

I always look forward to talking to him. 2/

As soon as the visit begins, I notice that his camera is angled off-center so I can't get a clear look at his face.

I ask if he can adjust it, but he says he's having technical issues.

No problem. I can adapt.

It isn't just the camera though.

Something feels off today. 3/

Almost immediately I can tell that he sounds subdued. He isn't cracking his usual jokes.

I'm comfortable with silence, even in the heart of a busy clinc day.

Silence is often where the healing happens.

After asking how he's doing, I let the silence between us grow. 4/

The question, when he asks it, is one I don't expect.

"Doc, which kills you faster? Blood pressure you don't control, or blood sugar you don't control?"

The surprise on my face must register, because he explains further.

"I just can't afford all these medications anymore." 5/

He continues.

The way I see it, doc, I only need to stick around 4 or 5 more years. That's how long my pet dog has left, then I ain't got no more family and it's me all on my own. So I figure maybe take the diabetes ones and skip the blood pressure? Or every other day? 6/

As I review his meds and start discussing our options with him, he adds one last remark.

"And I'm real sorry doc. I know we go back a ways, but I can't afford my co-pay. I'll pay you later. Promise."

And just like that, I understand why his camera is angled. 7/

And just like that, I'm again struck by the cruel illusion of what I do.

The system I'm part of.

This patient did everything right; got insurance, paid his taxes. And he still has to barter years of his life.

And he can't bring himself to look me in the eyes as he does so. 8/

Our healthcare system is too often unethical, immoral, unsustainable.

The insurance paradigm is focused on revenue generation. It strips the basic human dignity from patients, to the point where they can't even make eye contact anymore.

I know that I'm part of this system. 9/

He's old enough to be my father. Some part of me imagines that he is my father. Tears threaten my vision, as a hot anger floods me.

Now I wish I could angle my camera away.

I ask him if I can write about him. Because people need to know.

His response lingers with me. 10/

"Sure you can doc. But people already know. Lots of people deal with this. It ain't that people don't know. It's just that nobody cares. Nobody gives enough of a damn to change anything. Nobody... cares."

The visit ends.

My Zoom window closes.

His window closes too. 11/

I feel it.

There's something insidious here.

A casual cruelty we're all complicit in.

"I can't go to rehab, insurance won't cover it."

"Insurance won't pay for that medication."

"I can't afford any of this."

"I'm uninsured."

This isn't right. None of this is right. 12/

Twenty years ago, I gave a medical school interview.

I wore my best suit. I sat up straight.

I said I believed in medicine. I meant it.

Some part of me once burned brightly, but that fire is down to flickering embers.

Our lives mean more than this.

More than this.

The second image is a Tweet by verified user @/AlbertLee2020, display name Albert Lee:

In America, you and your doctor can both agree that you need a surgery but you have to get permission from a third-party for-profit insurance company or it can't be paid for. It's called freedom.

/End ID.

Our system is broken.  It is cruel.  It is dehumanizing, degrading, and it’s vile nature is so, so unnecessary.

We need universal healthcare today in America.  We needed it 40 years ago.  It’s cheaper, it’s simpler, it’s more efficient, it’s more effective and it is so, so, so much less cruel than what we have.

Additional sources/references:

Universal Healthcare Cost in America would be cheaper by trillions of dollars

The US has worse life expectancies than socialized healthcare countries

We have worse generalized healthcare results

We have the most expensive care

Our system is so cruel and unique that doctors from other countries literally can’t believe what happens here

I can’t tell you where or how to activate to help solve this.  There are politicians, groups, and activists pushing for this in so many ways.  I can tell you when, though.

Now.

[angrydame]

THE CLAPPING GAME

A pit in the South West, a hole you could see from heaven and the cunts gambol swiftly towards the railing. We're risking life. My arms weigh at the wrists, blue paint barrels are stuck with the smallest and skinniest fucker in the group. This group was brimmed with wrekkheads like me, not a given name between us. Goose's been claiming he's known me for time, and swears that baiting oursleves over the railing and risking a pulverised skull is a yearly tradition. If Goose ran at a wall his fat lips would be the first to connect with the bricks, spewing fucking blood and bilge. What a strong face and confident hands, mug above a square, albino face. For a kid with money, sparing the oxford shirts of cream and mint and dress shoes. He's the leader, but I'm worse.

The breed consisted of me, Goose, two whores, a gay kid, a roadman, and a pretty boy on borrowed time. Annually, dog-eat-dog, claw and cunting imperil. We persistently crave to out mad each other, and mad people don't care about life.

I relieve the dead weight from my wrists, the group piles in to lubricate their filthy, sweltering hands with the choppy and unmixed paint that has been rotting in the art cupboard. Discarding of blazers and ties; myself a facimile to their familiarity of the ball game. The first three cunts to let their claps echo around my skull folded after five claps. Pussies. I understood the game now.

Wet wrists make the insane laugh, the only other fucker laughing was a stranger with plasticine cheeks; gazing over the ledge ardently as I burnt a hole into the mole under his ear. I was laughing too, but this boy scared the absolute shit out of me. He favours half a person, the rest of him left the lights on but the bulb is dimming with caducity. Goose said he had a funny name, but Goose is not one to talk. He seemed to swallow the design that he should have died years before this game, he's been eaten too, I think. I must look that gaunt as we mutually hang from the bashead's molars; desperate not to meet the throat. Quite staring. Kiss your teeth. My lights are dim too, lights hum, fade and we're drowing sea dogs under tumultuous waves that personate every other winy twat coming to ruin our day. But we never meets my gaze and I think I might be wrong. So, I ignore it.

But I'll be damned, this boy was like looking in a misted, shit-stained cracked and faded mirror. Like the back of a scuffed spoon, inverted like someone's flipped your entire world upside down. I only see the right side of his face. I don't want to see the rest.

Instead, I discernibly elbow a kid next to me and drive my hipbones against the railing; the mental image of me doffing my sticky fingers out of one recalcitrant pie and into another. Why the fuck am I here so far off the ground, I feel safer on the ground.

Before I can question my circumstances, one of the whore slides a flipped red bucket between my dolly shoes and the railing, grinning like a prick over a bird beak nose, coffee stained teeth like an average central yat. Her parents didn't even notice wehn she didn't come home, the rest didn't have parents to care. I was used to digging another hole in my brain, but this was real, with these people. And they're making me hang off a building.

Rarities, like planes low in the sky that sear legibly red script of 'virgin' or the sun burning it's under most, Goose was someone that must've been imagined by a very lonely wamn. For time I thought that fucking woman was me, but I could barely dust a colleen when he first tackled me into the lunch question. Toff boy aye? Blonde mother of draping and interior design catalogues used to preach about her histrionic suicide venture; she hung herself with a pear necklace and when it snapped, she got an insurance pay-out, furthering her toffness for her and her wet sons. Goose's mum would say that shit lightly to all our chums who fruited and fantasised about the calm after death, which would frequently meek them back to up keeping afar their spry years. Better than the Bible. I hark back to Goose, up on that rood in the sky where he felt above his mother. Che's mother was Goose's mother now, though I'm not quite sure how they met.

[thekraziesreside]

I want to drop some Hyde lore since I haven't gotten any asks that let me talk about her.

This song is perfect for an idea I had for Hyde and Rick meeting- which I'll get to later on the post. (I have too many thoughts and even if I must scream into the void I will scream)

Hyde despises Em(s) and is the main reason only a handful of them exist in the multiverse of Rick and Morty. She's spent most her life destroying their dimensions and killing them off. A limited group of Em's found a way to cut their worlds off from her so she wouldn't be able to locate them (like how Prime Rick made it nearly impossible for Rick to find him.) Hyde has a rational reason for hating Em's but despite her deep seeded hatred she's calm and calculating, and very seldom gets angry. (And yes in the animatic she's very enthusiastic but she typically doesn't show much emotion.) Hyde enjoys her solitude and not being bothered after she's nearly wiped the other Em's out of existence, and yes she's aware there are still a few stragglers but their drive to survive amuses her because it ties back to why she hates Em's.

So why does Hyde hate Em's? I guess you're going to have to ask to find out- (no no I can't wait any longer even if it's not clever) How can a creature be so afraid of death, crave it so desperately- create a device and mount it into her back so she can't die- yet try anything to experience the sweet relief of death? It's pathetic, they don't even know what they want- they crave the love of people who will never know her because she won't let them in. In a way she's their god- a merciful being who will work to put them out of the misery they subject themselves to.

Also fun fact: Hyde doesn't have the same physical augmentations the other Em's have, I haven't yet decided if she has a way to not be killed or if she's just "better" than her counterparts. But she's one of the few Em's who keeps her long hair cut she had as a kid because she never got away, and got the bad EMd (end) Another fun fact: Bill hates her because she's no fun at all.

On to the song! I doodled this shit so quick because I'm worried I'll forget my little silly animatics that replay in my head because I jump fandom to fandom in my own day dreams. And as added insurance I decided to roughly outline it, too.

The premise is that Rick is still stupidly chasing down ghosts trying to find Rick Prime, but Em knows how dangerous that parallel is. Rick's and Em's are surprisingly similar (the whole Hyde killing Em's was something I did way before Rick Prime so why not lean into the similarities instead of scrapping the idea?) Em does end up following Rick, Summer, and Morty to this pocket dimension, because she's too afraid to let them get hurt and not do anything about it. Though Hyde really doesn't give a damn about a lot of things- so Em knows she's probably the only one at major risk.

An eerie silence fills the ship, it doesn't look like Rick technology, it's too... basic. For ambiance the lyrics play quietly in the background. The lyrics hinting at the parallels between Hyde and Rick- and even Rick Prime. Humans are such simple creatures and Hyde doesn't deny this fact.

Leaving them feeling betrayed Breaking the bonds that you've made Deep down, we're lonely demons from hell Hello A voice quietly echoes on the seemingly abandoned screens, a visage of Hyde appears for a moment before the screens and lights begin to shut off in time with the rhythm

Drown in your sorrow and fears Technological apparatus sprout up from the walls of the ship, quickly targeting Rick and Em, and as Em dashes to save Morty and Summer a metal container emerges and encapsulates them (Hyde doesn't care about hurting them shhh) Choke on your blood and your tears Bleed 'til you've run out of years And here's where I think it would be so fun to have all the past visions of how Hyde has torn apart and killed various Em's as our Em struggles against the ship trying to help the kids and Rick. Plus for the animatic it's fun to draw Hyde going wild, slamming her hands onto her control panel with her weight as she watches on as she tortures Em.

We are the same, you and I, I End scene with Rick and Hyde being left in the ruins of her ship, Hyde untouched, Rick alone not knowing what's happened to his grand kids- Em possibly dead. Em did warn him, she taunts, it's a shame really.

[leopoldainter]

No body laugh I have battle ship

Otherwise it's something between mm rielevator

Or Add some walls and transformer C woth lots go

Whadya got

Just A Kevin costener call back throwem both up

Pause at some point earlier m.bartiromo complained it wasn't the same so

Gaga

.everyonelovesmarineland

Introducing mushroom swing none are the weakest link cut

Why's there budget office going green

Road maintenance office

Two of them some options and you risk. A couple thousand cattle at A Subway stop

That'll never happen we have a stock market and a walk street

Then whats this water fountain for

It's there, just in case. It's a commonering problem in the west, looking for things to do. People come from all over the world to see it. A work of functioning private property. Some rail stations are unmaintened, momentarily can we put some ply wood up, one person on phone hits a bar and now we have mandatory car insurance It's bupkiss

That never fixes it, mom tries something in her other hand at the same time always.

Do people go underground in there own homes or what

Pull that fence back let me see your permits my kid can fall and drown into a pool behind a house with at least a toe I'm the yard

What was the reformation for if not that. Show me a flying screwdriver power Ed by two legs and the dude. Peggy was working on.

You know you stole that umbrella

By the door

U

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£!€

How?

munPenny

That's rape

Bit filmed in the way of French. Filmed blue.

Oh .

Shhh

She likes to worry

Marges

Go to sleep

Hey baby I love you

See isabell make up

That's so fake

Who are these people

I see people at the mall

Well I saw someone get rolled over with a train once

Eventually he looked like a tube of tooth paste

Your just remembering how fun it was to play roger rabit

This is grainy but ingrained i

..

No one noticed the loose eookie

Now there's a. Episode iiRIvirm shakira

Well it's got to be Prescott Russell of course

Keri Russell takes off some form of self knit mega toe glove

What are you baking brownies. For the church pot luck

I told you not to talk to her about.

Well I told her to do something

I'm in grade school during the days. Are you ever here

What's this then

I think he went to stans to play stratego

If I ever get these unzipped will you fuck me like the secretary of head of counterintelligence

How are joking about that, that's the neighbors boss.

Hint trunk crow bar

A glimryape scene

Stan pops his head in checks out auto safety center.

You, carpet. Now its a nei e

See I have a neice speciel

There's a pvc problem

Auto Safety Center

Set them up knock them down

It'd be bad enough to have a map put in broad daylight but engines.. no someone's back there.

You do not drive a ferrari

Good

Xrun is not Christmas it's running long distances a Comon grade school competion

I have a cousin

She took it from that platform by the looks of it

Damn

That's not the whole thing

She sings I got the pei book life of static and foreclose

A wave in the window

Why does he not tell me his name

Addendum

I'll be back

That's how you get a girls number might as well hook it to a line and yank it back myself. But with warmer winters auto windows were less, you know iffy to the islander s

Seems weird to have a pay door handle for the window what if you want to get out

You don't always write things in your gingobiloba.

No, roger

Whats this who fucked in the caboose I just landed it on the deck

Were going again

My rectangles

But they're doin it which is sweat I like that. Hey that's enough I want to see other woman hey baby I love you

Then he shot himself by the counter. I use many bames lemy selli geos frog yum

There's some kind of civil war that split everything in half between the two states of North. And south and so we rembrr amen

We shoot again in New Zealand then I'll make some push posh wrong book it's chrysalids eat my jive poof

But I don't know what I thought I squid was of course they're the anti christ where are they wat do they do how do I know I'll tell you how, using johny dep a faint Robin fore arm black pearl and six flags callback because juicy bones mensa phiranq table its basically Latin he got his bobes yeah.

Whose knitting ching town when do glen

He humms what he says

I can Tele what I'm

Jog

Your memory

Tai reminds his friend his moms in the kitchen and he's like oh great I'll make a tomato poop

Tai told him what

.

I think your forgetting how stark raving dad goes. Well Lisa's isn't good so Ralph wins

Isn't she here to test that very thing

I'm not japanese

Exchange students say the damn Ed's

A Scott hanging from the duckt work both hands out

It's between my legs

How's he got Santa's little helper

We sold the bacon grease it's a real thing

Mykia!

I just stepped on some justice

Black ice

Hold the machiato s

Or isn't œ does that get the uncharge

Never Forget to upcharge

Do you want a lid

I have two eyes last time you put a lid on it I got poked by the stopper

I know I saw the gjf where the eyes were tongues and I was like wait a minute there's a computer somewhere

When you wanna look cool

Drive minicooper (y)

Desperate nod

Vehicle

Present

Now trace of coal

Eventually e e even the ice cream. Truck stops shooting when the hearth s hello, a fire into place

Can we find anything modern

This one's nice a heart explosion just I.magine

You don't give to yourself

But it's written to estelle

No shit it is

Indoor shower unit one unit

I win sims2 capit

Homer's dream is to zoom out. But then who would

Tz_\/ a less then tike.

O.piqard. gotcha foo

It's weird on x it's like a best last post

Butnow

You meant testanley parable two ceiling records pow pow I win

Not back

Never Forget were the sapy escape root cellar

Door

BecauseEnglish (us) altieri

Scary moove over paige

Roulette points

To Russia

Get them zipped up

You look so bad in the show

You scared the minority report woman awake from cruiseville that's not nothing

Who was she going to call, the ghost busters?

Women

Vines a thing for while

But

Tic tocs got the toaster shot from super star

But you also live on the beach

They aren't sandals there crocs

That doesn't mean you pick which one you wear and throw the other away.

I saw when homer one bowling you don't wait to find finger holes

Ok Wen it's between the toes it's not that bad

Wait for the

In

To come

To you

Now there's more room for Riven in the myst franchise. Can we get a real actor in their

So Jodi foster goes in

Its just A flight through sarajeveo

But All I see is 1900000000000$

It's scientific notRion

I the distan Bud Light have taken your Ballon bargontiddttm. And a few tue behind past due

Its on the map of cnn

It's true.

O

I fart from time to timr

Jeep it up and you'll be cast elvis slant

Were at te

He IA what I am male

O pen

You can't do that thus Trump guise the ridicule. Whose to judge a counting contest with Bank statements a d willi

I am speechless honestly I just tried Joey's make up this one time

Your right, why don't we think of the refugees of the ivory coast

Lisa he asked you that

I only know that that's what they're saying by the image I can see it looks pretty bad. Possibly bad for alp nononpn

Gramdmothers day was to be announced with peppermint

I always know when to lay it to katy

I know, I thought you were being straight forward.

Well whose to say he isn't lying about that to you to. Well Well Well I can see why we're romantic. At home

Hu.mungYs is to judge when you'll sei

Two three

I was always thinking English u on the other hand

[grantiskeith]

Can you pls make a fic in which Angel yells at david for doing something wrong and he genuinely feels sorry

Thanks you ❤

Have a good day! ❤

Hey, thanks for the suggestion! I wrote something similar which I actually think is better than what I wrote here. So you should check that out here.

Otherwise, here goes nothing.

Angel dropped their bag and keys on the counter with attitude. David was sitting on the couch leaning over playing video games. It seemed like that's all he ever did in his free time. Games.

"I didn't know how late you'd be so I put dinner in the fridge" he put the controller down on the coffee table. Angel stood at the door, hands on their hips, waiting. After a decade of waiting, David finally turned his head to see his mate steaming with anger, taping their toe from impatience. "Angel?" He cocked his head to the side. "I don't want to hear it from you, I heard enough from Milo" "What in God's name are you talking about?" David got up from his seat and crossed the room. Angel moved away from him to sit at the kitchen table. Their voice got soft, fighting the tremble of their upper lip. "Milo told me you hired an accountant. One for the security business." "Yeah but..." "You hired an accountant full well knowing I'm a CPA and could have helped!" Tears were beginning to well up in their eyes. David stood across the table, still unsure why they were so upset. "I think you're just tired" "Shut up David!" "You..." "Is he some magical accountant? Can he fly and balance a ledger at the same time? Is he some stupid magical wolf that can use a calculator with his claws?" "Angel what the hell" "I didn't even know you were looking for a bookkeeper, did you ever think to ask me, someone in the field who could recommend someone. I told you I wanted to be more involved with the business. I told you last week on that I wanted to be more involved. Right there on that couch, 'if it matters to you then it matters to me Davey' fell on deaf ears I guess." Despite the tears, Angel was very much yelling. David thought about how awkward the next interaction with the neighbors might be after hearing screaming about flying accountants. "Sorry I can't morph into a damn dog but I'm not completely useless" "I don't know what you want me to say!" David let out after waiting so long for Angel to take a breath."You already have a full-time job, were you going to quit and work for me? Lose your actually good job, lose your insurance and security just because Asher doesn't know how to use Quickbooks?" Angel took a breath. "I wanted you to include me" "It's just work" David stated. Angel didn't buy it. "No it's not. My job is just work. Your job is your friends and family, your pack. It's your Dad and it's your life. I want to be part of your LIFE." "Angel I'm sorry, I didn't realize..." "Nope, I don't want to hear it. We'll talk later, I'm going out, I'll be back" Angel didn't slam the door but it felt like it to David. "Oh I fucked up" he whispered to himself. Before he even had a chance to take a step. Angel came barreling through the door. The veracity and power Angel had made the door open faster than they were prepared for and David nearly smiled watching the door almost come off its hinges. "You know what, I'm not done." David just stood there. "I thought you said you valued me for my own talents." "I do, Angel, I'm sorry I didn't know this was so important to you."