#i'll start engaging with them

[manishaaaaa]

sugar daddies or porn bots ko block block karte thak gyi hu me

[naivety]

okay i need feedback from the autism mentall illness website um. this is going to read like an AITA post. brother vs half-sister (who are currently my dependents do to their own individual disabilities + ptsd/depression) spat i will skim the details on but i'm worried my sister will discount my take since i'm not autistic myself so. am i crazy to call it ableist to look at an autistic person (23) who is clearly going through it dealing w long term depression, a world that doesn't give a shit abt him, unemployment, very self-isolated and burnt out barely leaving his room because the world is an ableist dumpster fire with zero opportunities for him, and then bring up childhood abuse he's suffered and his diagnosis as reasonable factors on top of this to worry he'll [checks notes] abuse my cat just to hurt me or even worse have a breakdown and kill me and his other sibling in a violent episode, a train of thought i probably wouldn't even be having were he not [checks notes] mad at me for the first time in my life?

like i don't have any other read on this kind of fear-based characterization other than ableism. like those are very real things in his life but she never points out any current violent behavior, of which there are none, only the one (1) instance of him lashing out when he was like 14 and Officially Diagnosed Low Empathy she thinks is a concern and Hateful Looks toward her since he stopped getting along with her, that's it. i tried explaining to her why i, someone who's lived w him his entire life, can vouch for how unlikely he is to do anything like that, especially when it's again not based on anything he's actually currently doing except for isolating in a way that is much more indicative of him potentially being a danger to himself than anyone else, and being cold towards her specifically, and i thought she had let it go, but when i brought it up off-hand in a conversation tangentially related, she continued to defend and justify her Concern about the potential directions his behavior could lead to because [checks notes] other people in similar situations have lashed out and killed their entire families according to. true crime books or videos she's watched on youtube as far as i'm aware. ignoring the fact that her and i have had the same or Worse childhood abuse and have acted similarly isolated in the past, or for her literally just as currently as him, and she's not expressed any worry past or present about either of us doing anything like that, in my opinion obviously because i haven't cut her off due to our differences like he decided to. like am i big sibling biased because this is pissing me off so bad.

[moonchild-in-blue]

Happy 1 year anniversary of me discovering Sleep Token and listening to The Summoning for the 1st time 🥹

Shout out to that annoying ass-dude that kept appearing on my Instagram's fy page with That Part of The Summoning for months prior. If it weren't for your slightly-pretentious, male-targeted videos about ceiling mirrors and waterproof blankets and whatever else, I would've never listened to them 🙏

I kept a little journal while going through their discography, and from June to September I did a track by track first impressions review of every album/ep lol.

Here some of my favourite entries from the first week of TMBTE listening / ST tumblr engagement 🥺

"[...] They are so babygirl. I've made some friends on tumblr simply because of them, how cool is that? What a [lovely community.]" (continued on second page)

"[...] BRO. I'm struggling over here. That video lives in my head rent free. Brain rot. Head empty, only Sleep Token thoughts. [...]" (will give you a smooch if you guess the video)

"4 - Aqua Regia: JAZZ PIANO SO SEXY AND FOR WHAT. *That* chord progression?? WIG. Frothing (hehe)"

And at last, my favourite:

"I get it, his teeth are very sexy"

(this was about Vore)

[suddencolds]

vent//

[laugtherhyena]

Continuing the rant-iness of last post's notes onto this one i think (I appreciate if they're read, i think I'm too self-conscious to have them in the post itself)

[fisheito]

hey kids! time to explain!

[pushing500]

Eva the suspected mime asked Debby to marry her!! Congrats to the happy couple. Maybe this will last longer than Debby and Brennan did, or maybe Eva will turn into a monster and eat Debby. Who knows? Anything can happen on the Rim!

Grump is in the hospital with a bruise on her left arm (she got in a fight with Wookshys, he was completely uninjured).

I saw Irwin going in to "cheer her up", and for a moment I thought he was actually being nice, but no. He's still an asshole. <3

I like to imagine that Jesse the tree-dude (with that accursed pink square of his) doesn't speak, and just mimes all his interactions with all the other colonists. He's the only pawn without a mouth from the facial animations mod, so I just think it would be cute if he played charades every time he wanted to say something.

And also "enthusiastically demonstrating" syringes seemed really funny.

First | Next | Previous

[of-nyon]

girl help someone made a post explaining why they don't like one of my faves and I'm being so brave about it

[francesderwent]

I figured it out. actually only the first two seasons of Greys are good.

[neverendingford]

along the same line as the whole "why do you need to know someone's autistic before you stop bullying them for their autistic traits?" thing I've seen floating around

apologizing for it once you know is meaningless. it doesn't change the fact that you deliberately mocked someone for their behavior.

.

a customer mocked my stutter and I've lost all patience with that so I looked him in the eyes and said "I have a speech disability" and he immediately got all apologetic and was like "I wasn't making fun of you". Bro yes you were. you didn't realize you were making fun of a disability I've spent my entire life struggling with, but you were nonetheless.

just because you don't know you're being an asshole doesn't mean you're not being an asshole. you can apologize but I'm not going to forgive you.

[entamewitchlulu]

ok so i was pretty let down by the way the anime adaptation ended and I haven't caught up to the manga (and also it's still going?? so i don't know exactly what the plan is there so like take whatever i'm about to say with a huge grain of salt)

anyway. suicide mention tw

but anyway I was thinking about moriarty the patriot again and about how when you really think about it, William's "brilliant" plan to change British society is actually really.....childish. The idea that if he puts the corruption of the world on blast, and then becomes the image of that corruption to force everyone to unite against him and thus make the world change....it's so tragically childish. It's the dream of a child, and in fact it's the plan he's had since he was a child. A belief that he can change the world through becoming the villain is genuinely not actionable. Whatever he might accomplish through it wouldn't be lasting.

In the end the simple fact is that William is....pretty deeply suicidal. He genuinely doesn't believe there's a place for him in the world and the only way he can fix it so that the people he loves can have a better world is if he dies.

He's a brilliant man, no one's arguing that. He truly can pull off the perfect crimes that often do make things better for everyone through very violent means.

But i think that just solidifies the idea in his head that the only way to make lasting change is through violence, and because of his various childhood traumas piled on top of the way the world keeps confirming his biases, he genuinely does not realize that his plan is honestly, very very stupid, and predicated on a deep, unexamined belief in his own inherent worthlessness.

He believes that there is evil in the world and the only way to get rid of it is through violence, and he believes that because of his actions he has become that same evil and must, therefore, be removed just like he has removed everyone else.

But it's shortsighted. It's always been shortsighted. He can't save the world by killing himself.

And it's just so fucking tragic.

[lesenbyan]

yanno, for a show that seemed to always be running when i was growing up (disclaimer; I did not grow up with the channel; I only had access when visiting my mom's parents if they were even in the same state) Danny Phantom really is a short show, huh?

[this-is-a-love-story-isnt-it]

The Facts of Life parallels - 2x07 | 9x22 Blair being Jo's maid of honor

[novelconcepts]

i don't make resolutions, but if i did

it would be to finish this fic

(and to be kind to myself for however long it takes to actually do so)

[bottomvalerius]

sighs and opens up all my kinktober wips from the year LMAO

[thethingything]

I keep randomly remembering that the reason our brain is especially fucked and a bunch of our symptoms are worse right now is because of like, an avoidable external thing that's chemically affected our nervous system instead of either our symptoms flaring up on their own or some specific stressful event triggering it, and for some reason that keeps making us feel especially bad about it.

like our mental health being bad because of stressful stuff going on and our mental illnesses randomly flaring up both suck, but I can handle our brain just doing its own thing and/or reacting to what's going on around us.

but something about it being a medication that someone else prescribed that's changed the way our brain functions is significantly more distressing in a way I can't put into words properly. a lot of the symptoms we've got (apathy, brain fog, alexithymia, memory problems, etc) are very typical depression and dissociation symptoms, but they're like a weird version of them that feels very different to how we normally experience them.

the only way I can describe the difference in feeling is that it feels more "artificial" but I can't even really describe what I mean by that. if normal brain fog is looking out the window on a foggy day, this is looking out of a window that's been covered with those frosted vinyl sheets. you can't see shit either way, but the feeling is very different.

I just desperately want it to go away. I'm finding it hard to be enthusiastic about things I'm normally excited about no matter how bad our depression gets, and our usual coping mechanisms for getting our brain to register positive things aren't really working because it's not the same underlying mechanism.

it feels like any control I did have over our symptoms and anything I could do to help with them has been stripped away and all I can do is wait it out and hope it fixes itself, and the whole "being given a drug that changes how your brain functions and takes away your control over what your brain is doing" is pretty much the exact phobia I was trying to learn to figure out how to deal with before we get dental work done, and for the dental work it'd be like... idk probably an hour at most, whereas now I'm just stuck dealing with experiencing it 24/7 for an undetermined amount of time