#i'll probably delete this later I just really wanted to point these things out

[angered-box]

yknow realizing my family was super fucking mean to me for no reason before i turned 18

[musical-chick-13]

.

[izukuwus]

Trying to make sense of the Nanowrimo statement to the best of my abilities and fuck, man. It's hard.

It's hard because it seems to me that, first and foremost, the organization itself has forgotten the fucking point.

Nanowrimo was never about the words themselves. It was never about having fifty thousand marketable words to sell to publishing companies and then to the masses. It was a challenge, and it was hard, and it is hard, and it's supposed to be. The point is that it's hard. It's hard to sit down and carve out time and create a world and create characters and turn these things into a coherent plot with themes and emotional impact and an ending that's satisfying. It's hard to go back and make changes and edit those into something likable, something that feels worth reading. It's hard to find a beautifully-written scene in your document and have to make the decision that it's beautiful but it doesn't work in the broader context. It's fucking hard.

Writing and editing are skills. You build them and you hone them. Writing the way the challenge initially encouraged--don't listen to that voice in your head that's nitpicking every word on the page, put off the criticism for a later date, for now just let go and get your thoughts out--is even a different skill from writing in general. Some people don't particularly care about refining that skill to some end goal or another, and simply want to play. Some people sit down and try to improve and improve and improve because that is meaningful to them. Some are in a weird in-between where they don't really know what they want, and some have always liked the idea of writing and wanted a place to start. The challenge was a good place for this--sit down, put your butt in a chair, open a blank document, and by the end of the month, try to put fifty thousand words in that document.

How does it make you feel to try? Your wrists ache and you don't feel like any of the words were any good, but didn't you learn something about the process? Re-reading it, don't you think it sounds better if you swap these two sentences, if you replace this word, if you take out this comma? Maybe you didn't hit 50k words. Maybe you only wrote 10k. But isn't it cool, that you wrote ten thousand words? Doesn't it feel nice that you did something? We can try again. We can keep getting better, or just throwing ourselves into it for fun or whatever, and we can do it again and again.

I guess I don't completely know where I'm going with this post. If you've followed me or many tumblr users for any amount of time, you've probably already heard a thousand times about how generative AI hurts the environment so many of us have been so desperately trying to save, about how generative AI is again and again used to exploit big authors, little authors, up-and-coming authors, first time authors, people posting on Ao3 as a hobby, people self-publishing e-books on Amazon, traditionally published authors, and everyone in between. You've probably seen the statements from developers of these "tools", things like how being required to obtain permission for everything in the database used to train the language model would destroy the tool entirely. You've seen posts about new AI tools scraping Ao3 so they can make money off someone else's hobby and putting the legality of the site itself at risk. For an organization that used to dedicate itself to making writing more accessible for people and for creating a community of writers, Nanowrimo has spent the past several years systematically cracking that community to bits, and now, it's made an official statement claiming that the exploitation of writers in its community is okay, because otherwise, someone might find it too hard to complete a challenge that's meant to be hard to begin with.

I couldn't thank Nanowrimo enough for what it did for me when I started out. I don't know how to find community in the same way. But you can bet that I've deleted my account, and I'll be finding my own path forward without it. Thanks for the fucking memories, I guess.

[nvrsaidiwasinurcloset]

pleaser part 4 pls 🙏🙏🙏

Hiiii! I hope you like it!

Sorry I left it on a cliffhanger again but I'll have the next part this weekend if anyone wants it!

Also, I'm sorry it took so long for me to write this, but I literally had almost 20 requests in my ask box for it. HOPEFULLY it doesn't suck😭

AND I STG BAD IDEA, RIGHT?(Part 4) IS STILL COMING! I'm struggling to get the end just right lmao.

Pleaser - Stepbrother!Ethan Landry x Fem!Reader - Part 4

This contains SMUT - Minors DNI

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3

Summary: You're still sneaking around with your stepbrother, and it's looking like you have the chance to actually be together with your mom and his dad splitting up.

Contains: p in v, fingering-ish, thigh riding, stepcest but like...your mom and Ethan's dad aren't really together anymore so is it really that bad💀(I know I'm probably missing something but if I read this again, I'll delete the whole fucking thing lmao)

A/N: There's a lot of dialog in this fic, even the smut. If that's not your thing, don't read it:)

After a couple weeks of you sneaking around with Ethan, you started to get a little reckless. You knew how close you were to leaving for college, and you knew the odds of your mom sending you away at the last minute weren’t very high. It got to the point where he was sneaking through your bedroom window every night because you didn’t want to sleep without him. Then, he’d have an alarm set to wake up before Wayne and your mom would get up for work and go back to his room.

The situation between your mom and his dad seemed to be civil, even though Wayne had to sleep on the couch while he tried to find a house. He even contemplated getting an apartment for him and Ethan while they figured it out, but your mom was adamant that it wasn’t a big deal. As irritated as she was over the situation, she didn’t feel right for Ethan to bounce from place to place right before he was leaving for college anyway.

You were sure that your mom had no idea that you were still spending time with Ethan, but she started to notice little things. The flirty glances, the sneaky subtle touches. But what really let her know that you’d found a way to spend alone time with Ethan was when you were helping her make dinner, like you always did, and you put your hair up to get it out of the way. She saw the huge purple mark on the nape of your neck, and she realized that you had no idea it was even there once Ethan walked into the kitchen to see what was for dinner, and his eyes grew wide the second he saw it. He motioned for you to put your hair back down, your cheeks turning bright red. You thought she didn’t notice because she didn’t say anything, but she was planning to later that night after dinner.

Just like clockwork, you and Ethan excused yourself to go to bed right after dinner was over. He was crawling through your bedroom window as you walked over to cut the lights off, your room only lit by the moonlight that was pouring through the window before Ethan closed it and drew the curtains shut.

As you crawled in bed with him, he couldn’t keep his hands off you. Your back was pressed to his chest as your legs were spread for him, his fingers rubbing over your panties as he placed open mouth kisses along the side of your neck.

“You’re so hard,” you said, as your ass was pressed against his cock that was straining in his boxers.

“You always do this to me,” he mumbled against your neck. “I want to fuck you so bad right now.”

“You can,” you whispered, as he slid your panties to the side.

“You think you can be quiet?” he asked, a gasp slipping past your lips as he slid one of his fingers inside you.

Before you could say anything else, you heard a light knock on your door before it eased open. Ethan pulled his hand away from you as you closed your legs. You both froze in fear as you saw the silhouette of your mom as she made her way inside your room.

“Are you still awake?” she whispered, as she tried to navigate through the darkness of your room.

“Yeah, I was almost asleep. Just don’t cut the light on,” you said, your anxiety creeping up as she sat down on the foot of your bed.

“We need to talk about you and Ethan,” she said softly, “I know you’ve still been sneaking around.”

Ethan was trying to be as still as possible as he laid beside you. He was so thankful for your blackout curtains, and how you really couldn’t see anything in the room.

“I know you’re probably going to try to deny it, and I don’t want you to lie to me right now. Please be honest with me,” she said, as you took a deep breath.

“When am I going to dads?” you asked, confirming her suspicions without actually admitting to it.

“Do you love Ethan?” she asked, as you tensed up. You hadn’t said those three words yet, and you knew she was just trying to have girl talk with you to know where your feelings were, but you didn’t want to tell her when he was right behind you. “I think he loves you. He looks at you like it’s way more than just some fling.”

“It’s not just some fling,” you said, as you felt Ethan's hand rubbing against the back of your thigh. “I guess I do have really strong feelings for him.”

“I know I was upset when I first found out about the two of you, but I really like him. I’ve seen a different side of him since the weekend that Wayne and I went on our little trip,” she said, as she started to laugh to herself. “You know he used to annoy the shit out of me.”

“He’s actually really sweet,” you said, as his hand just kept moving.

“I’m not going to send you to your dads…and I think I’ll ask Wayne and Ethan to take the cameras down. They don’t really seem to be serving a purpose,” she said, “But, don’t think that I’m okay with the two of you going crazy. I don’t want to walk in here one morning and see him in your bed or something.”

“I’m not that stupid,” you mumbled, “But I’m really tired. Can we talk more about this tomorrow?”

“Of course, honey. Get some sleep,” she said, as she stood up to make her way towards the door. “If you want, we can go get stuff for your dorm tomorrow. Ethan can come, too.”

“Cool, I’ll ask him about it in the morning,” you said, as she opened the door and walked out, quietly closing it behind her.

You and Ethan laid in silence for a few minutes to give your mom plenty of time to go to bed, but he still snaked his arm around you to hold you close.

“Did she just give you permission for us to be together?” he whispered in your ear.

“I think so,” you said, smiling at the thought of it. “I’m sorry if she made things awkward.”

“I think the only awkward part was me being in the bed with you and she had no idea,” he said as he softly laughed against your neck. “Are you talking about the feelings stuff?”

“Yeah…I know we haven’t really discussed that yet. I didn’t know what to say.”

“Do you have really strong feelings for me like you said?” he said, as his hand ran up your thigh.

“I do,” you said softly.

“Good, because your mom was right…about me loving you.”

“You love me?” you asked, as he nodded his head against you.

“I have since we were left alone for the whole weekend.”

You adjusted on the bed so you were facing him, your legs tangling with his as he held you close.

“Why didn’t you say something sooner?” you questioned, as he sighed.

“It’s a complicated situation. I didn’t want to say it until I knew we actually had a chance to be together.”

“I love you, too, babe,” you said, as you leaned up to kiss him. You started to laugh against his lips once you felt how hard he still was, his cock brushing against you. “You’re still hard.”

“I told you; the idea of getting caught is my kink,” he mumbled against your lips. “You still want me to fuck you?”

“Mhm.”

He connected his lips to yours again, his hand running over the curve of your ass as he rubbed his cock against you. You were getting more wet by the second, the anticipation building as his tongue moved across your bottom lip. He moved his leg so his thigh was pressed against your pussy, as you started to grind against him, gasping at the friction on your clit.

Your breathing got heavier as you kept moving your hips, and once his hand on you ass was helping you move faster, you were trying so hard to be quiet. He started to groan once he felt how wet you were, your panties completely soaked as you rubbed against him.

“You think you could cum like this?” Ethan said, his tone teasing as his hand went to your hip to hold you down harder against him.

“Oh fuck,” you whimpered, as he softly laughed.

You reached between the two of you to palm him over his boxers, as he helped you move. He attached his lips to yours again to keep quiet himself, because his cock was throbbing so hard as your hand moved over the fabric. He wanted to fuck you so bad, but he wanted you to fall apart over his thigh in between your legs first.

You were whimpering into the kiss as you felt yourself start to get close. He pulled his lips away from yours, his bottom lip in between his teeth as he helped you move as fast as you could.

“Oh my god,” you said, your voice strained as he helped bring you closer to the edge.

“Try to be quiet, baby,” he said, his voice raspy as your legs started to tremble.

“I can’t,” you panted, “Fuck, we’re gonna get caught.”

“No, we’re not,” he said, as he leaned down to kiss you, hard. His mouth caught all the sounds you were trying to hard to hold in as your orgasm hit, your hand still shakily rubbing over his cock.

The grip he had on your hip loosened as you slowed down, your moans turning to soft whimpers as you started to relax against him.

“That was so hot,” he said against your lips, as your breathing started to slow.

“Now, I need to make you cum,” you said softly, reaching into his boxers to pull his cock out.

He let out a low moan once you started stroking, paying extra attention to his sensitive tip.

“Try to be quiet, baby,” you teased, “You want me to suck it?”

“I need to be inside you,” he said, “I want to feel your pussy.”

“Okay, let me grab a condom,” you said, untangling your legs from his before you rolled over to reach into your nightstand.

“I still think it’s funny that you don’t hide them under your bed anymore,” he said, chuckling as you reached into the almost empty box.

“What’s the point? My mom knows I’m not a virgin now,” you shrugged, as you felt him move closer to you, his hand pulling you towards him so your back was against his chest again.

“I can’t believe she thought you were just so innocent,” he said, as his lips went to your neck again, his hand running under the big t-shirt you were wearing. He squeezed your breast, a soft moan slipping past your lips at the feeling.

“I am innocent,” you said, your words making him squeeze you harder.

“You’re far from innocent…especially when you’re in bed with me.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you said, playing dumb as you moved so your ass was firmly pressed against his cock.

“Keep that shit up and you won’t be able to be quiet,” he playfully warned, as he started to suck on your neck.

You moaned at the feeling as his hand moved to your hips, hooking your panties under his thumb as you adjusted to make it easier for him to slide them down. You passed him the condom, your anticipation building as you heard him open it. He rolled it on and grabbed your leg, spreading them open so it’d be easier for him to slide inside of you.

“Don’t be loud,” he reminded you, as he started to push inside you.

“Oh my god,” you whispered, feeling him stretch your walls.

“Shh, you can take it.”

Once Ethan was all the way in, he stilled to give you time to adjust, but that wasn’t what you wanted. You started to move your hips, giving your pussy the friction it was craving. He groaned at your actions as his hand started to roam under your shirt again.

“You gonna help me out or not?” you asked, once you’d been moving for a little bit and he wasn’t.

“I want you to beg me for it,” he said, as you kept moving.

“Please?” you asked, as he chuckled.

“Not good enough,” he teased, “Tell me how bad you want it.”

“So fucking bad,” you said, as his hand moved to your hip. “I need you to fuck me, please baby.”

He started to move, but it was so slow. He was helping you meet his thrusts, the tip of his cock hitting that spot every single time, but you needed so much more.

“Ethan,” you whined, as he shushed you. “Please.”

He didn’t know how quiet you were going to be, but he couldn’t hold back anymore. He started giving you hard, deep thrusts, as your hand slapped over your mouth. The grip he had on your hip was getting tighter, as your free hand started to grip at the sheets. He placed kisses along your neck as he started to whisper in your ear.

“You take my cock so well.”

“Your pussy is perfect.”

“I’ve got you.”

He knew you were getting close, the sounds muffled by your hand just getting louder as he started to go faster.

“Keep moving your hips, baby.”

You did as he said, his hand leaving your hip to rub fast circles against your clit. You were whimpering as your toes started to curl, your entire body getting hot as he brought you closer to your orgasm.

He let out a low groan when your pussy started to clench him, his fingers pressing even harder as he rubbed your clit. Your body started to arch against him as you cried out against your palm, your eyes rolling back as the intense euphoric feeling washed over you.

“Gonna cum,” he panted, as his hand went back to your hip, his cock giving you a few more hard thrusts before his grip on you got shaky. “Fuuuck.”

You both laid there, the only sounds in the room were the heavy breathing coming from the two of you until it started to return to normal. He slid out of you and crawled off the bed to navigate around the darkness of your room to the trash can to dispose of the condom before he laid back down and wrapped his arms around you. You soon dozed off with Ethan’s head nuzzled against your neck.

The next morning, you woke up with Ethan’s arms still wrapped around you. You reached over to your nightstand to check your phone, your eyes growing wide once you noticed that Ethan didn’t set his alarm.

“Babe, wake up,” you said, your hand shaking his arm as he sleepily mumbled. “Ethan, it’s almost eight.”

“Fuck,” he whispered as he sat up and jumped out of bed. “Where’s my sweatpants?”

He walked over to your curtains to let a little light in so he could see, his heart pounding in his chest one he noticed your mom working in the flower bed right outside of your window. The moving curtains caught her attention, and when she glanced up, she saw Ethan quickly trying to close them.

“Your mom’s out there,” he whisper-yelled, feeling around on your floor until he finally found his sweatpants.

“Did she see you?” you questioned, jumping off the bed to put your pajama bottoms on.

“Fuck, I don’t know,” he said, “I’m so stupid.”

You tried to think of a plan, but once you heard the front door open, you walked over to your bedroom door and eased it open to see your mom walk in.

“Out the window, now,” you said, rushing him as he did what you said.

Once he was out of your room and you closed the window behind him, you turned around to walk back to the door to see your mom standing there.

“Maybe we do need to look into you going to your dads.”

[toskarin]

how did you get started making music, tools-wise?

I've talked about this a bit before and I don't necessarily recommend doing this, so skip the following two paragraphs and go right to the one under the break if you actually want the method I recommend

I lied to a girl I liked from my school and told her that, because I could play guitar I could also play piano, so I could teach her to play piano. both of these statements were lies.

I had to panic and learn both guitar and piano one week ahead of the lessons I was giving her as an excuse to hang out. so I self-taught in a haze of panic and "maybe she'll like me" (she did not) (but she kind of did) (but she was bicurious) (but she was wishy-washy on if she wanted to get together and her parents didn't like me) (and her parents were homophobic) (I think she might have texted me at one point years down the line to tell me she had a girlfriend but it was after I deleted our text history and I'm chronically unable to remember to put people's names into my contacts so who knows)

but that's all an aside. that's a bad method.

anyway if you want to start making music in earnest, doing what I did when I got serious about making songs instead of trying to impress girls whose parents wanted to destroy me with their minds here's a better answer

go acquire FL Studio. it's apparently really easy to do this because people have been acquiring it for years, or so I've heard. FL is good for learning because you've got 20 years worth of free tutorials available to you on youtube to dig through and plenty of stock vsts to play with out of the box

FL Studio is, realistically, the only tool you actually need to start making music. you could get away with less, but it's what I used, and as long as you don't pick up Specific Bad Habits, your experience with it will transfer to other DAWs if you decide to switch it later

that's all, really

if you go this route, the golden rule I'm going to impart on you right now is that you need to have a limiter on your songs. the default FL studio song templates have one, so you should keep it until you know enough to know why you might adjust something like that

it doesn't matter if it sounds fine in the editor without a limiter. everyone thinks it's not a big deal at the time, but as you get more experienced, there's literally nothing short of getting in legal trouble that you'll regret more than realising that your old work is almost entirely unsalvageable because you didn't put a limiter on it and now half of the audio is just lost data to clipping

I'm gonna put a few more recommendations for things I've used, just so you can consider them if you need something else to chew on. everything past this point is entirely optional and you'll do just fine with FL Studio alone. in fact, probably don't worry about everything below the line

-=-

items marked with [F] are free.

DIGITAL AUDIO WORKSTATIONS THAT AREN'T FL

for tracker-based editing and chiptunes, use Renoise. you'll either love or hate trackers, and while they have a steeper learning curve than piano roll DAWs, they might come more naturally to you. I personally think that Renoise is a lot of fun to use. it kinda has an "addictive" quality to it, as funny as that is to say

for quickly sketching songs, use [F]Jummbox. it's an html workstation (multiplatform!) that writes your sketches to a url, meaning it's pretty easy to collaborate on musical sketches. Jummbox is good for making chiptune style instrumentals, but what makes it especially accessible is the fact that it works on a piano roll system, which will be familiar to you if you're working in FL

for writing sheet music, I recommend starting with [F]Musescore. I'll warn you right now that there aren't really any good notation editors and you're making lesser-of-evils decisions when you pick any of them, but it's probably the best compromise out there right now. it's the one I use when I need to hand something to a physical musician. you can also export pieces as midi, although there's better ways to do that lol

-

VSTs

if you can acquire Pianoteq, do that. if you feel uncomfortable with acquiring it, [F]Keyzone Classic is free and can sound pretty nice with a bit of work, but you really have to learn to work with it

if your workstation can handle it performance-wise, go pick up [F]Vital - Spectral Warping Wavetable Synth. there's tons of free presets for this out there and it sounds good. cool synth. Serum: Advanced Wavetable Synthesizer is also good and has plenty of presets, but it's on the pricy side, so consider how comfortable you are with [finding a friend to buy it for you]

[F]Decent Sampler doesn't do much out of the box, because it's just a tool for playing sample banks, but if you go to [F]Pianobook, you can find tons of weird and fun sample packs of just about everything you can imagine. sounds derived from folk instruments, industrial equipment, lego sets, stylophones, choirs, whatever. incredibly useful.

Valhalla VintageVerb. this is the reverb plugin. you want this one. [F]Valhalla Super Massive is also good but it's more focused on alien-sounding reverb effects and enormous spaces, so it's kind of got a niche use case and you should be a little careful with it

if you've heard a lo-fi hip hop song on youtube, it probably used [F]iZotope Vinyl. this one can save you a lot of time if you're going for that sound because it comes with all the little vinyl flourishes outside of compression (like dust crackling) that you'd otherwise have to add yourself

[F]Genny VST is advertised as giving a genesis/megadrive sound, but what actually makes it shine is that it's an actual synth emulating the YM2612 and SN76489 sound chips. this means you can create your own sounds that work within those specs, which is a lot of fun! definitely beats just using samples, if you ask me

-

HARSH VSTS THAT I PERSONALLY LIKE BUT WHICH ALSO MIGHT !!HURT!! YOU. SO BE VERY CAREFUL USING THESE.

[F]Tritik Krush is a bitcrushing plugin. it does a good job of bitcrushing and downsampling. I use it a lot in my songs, but you've really gotta know how to keep this one under control, because it's fully capable of making painful sounds on accident and can completely devour your mix

[F]FSA Latcher is a gorgeous noisebox. it screams in horrible ways and makes dying machine noises in various colours. this is the musical equivalent of working with radioactive material, so be extremely careful using this in anything you don't want to hurt the listener's ears

girlfriend just told me I have to recommend [F]Noise Engineering Ruina to you if I'm making a category with this heading. I don't personally use it, but she likes it (she's better at music than I am) and it's free, so you should go pick it up. "it annihilates sounds very deliciously" (maybe I should use it)

-

hope that helps a bit!

[jellyfishoreo1206]

I really wasn't expecting so many people to like my Mirage x reader so much! I'm glad you guys liked it!

Though this is a rewrite, because I accidentally deleted the original. I'm still a little salty about it but it's whatever

Though there will be a small few changes that aren't updated in the part 1, but nothing much, just how the text will be colored. And some inconsistent POV changes

Y/N-Pink

Mirage-Blue

Noah-Orange

But anyway, here's part two!

Part one is here btw

Meeting Mirage ;)

Warnings: Suggested drug usage, language

"So is there a reason why we're walking instead of taking your car?" Currently right now, Y/N, who was about to go to bed several minutes ago, is now walking the empty streets of Brooklyn with Noah right beside her. And in addition of that, a blindfold for some reason that she's still trying to figure out. It was nearly midnight and this man literally just told her he had something important to show her. Many questions asked, and no answers yet.

He just kept responding with, 'you'll see when we get there', which is slowly starting to tick her off. And to make it just a little worse, she's still in her PJ's, a black tank top, some baggy white sweatpants that aren't even hers, and some worn out spiderman slippers. And it's fucking cold.

"It's close by, not even that long of a walk."

"It better be, because I swear to God Noah if whatever you're about to show me is something stupid I'm going to fucking kick you."

"I swear it's not."

"Also why did it have to be at night? Why not early in the morning?!"

"Because it couldn't wait until early in the morning!"

"Mhm, yeah right. You didn't even let me have time to put on a jacket. It's fucking cold."

"It's summer."

"You know how cold I am naturally!"

"Wouldn't be surprised if you were a lizard."

"Maybe I am, maybe I'm just befriending you so I can slowly take over humanity! Maybe so I can lick all the things I want without getting weird looks from people because it'll all be lizards!"

It was quiet for a moment, before the pair started to laugh at the comment. Sometimes they can't take each other seriously. It's always one of the two that makes the most random comments to ever been said.

"I'll get you some of those croissant thingys from that bakery you like. As a, 'Sorry for dragging you out of your apartment to show you something' apology."

"You better, you mother fucker...and bring some milk too."

"You're the only person I know that likes milk as a beverage."

"Hey! You can make all kinds of shit out of milk! It's not weird to like it as a beverage. Hell, you were drinking it out of your mother once!"

"Never say that sentence ever again."

Sooner or later, they finally arrived at their destination. With the jingling of keys, Noah unlocks a door before gently pulling her into the building. She was immediately hit with the smell of oil, the fumes of paint, and the smell of gas. Wherever they are, Y/N's guessing they're in Noah's garage.

Now, Noah was nervous, the whole entire time they walked here, he was fidgeting with his finger every so often. He fears how his best friend will react to Mirage, and hoping, hoping it's a good reaction. Though, it might be a small chance, but that's not stopping him from praying to the point someone passing by will probably think he's a little crazy.

"Heyyy you're back! And you brought the pretty lady too~" Now Y/N wasn't expecting another person to be here. She thought it would just be the two of them. Not that she was complaining, maybe this important thing needed someone to look after it so it wouldn't break or something.

Though in reality, it's a huge 12ft robot chilling on the floor, waiting for the both of them. But she doesn't know that. Yet.

"Y/N, I want you to me-"

Noah was cut off by Mirage, a pout on his face as he crosses his arms. "Nu uh man! Lemme have this one!" He quickly clears his throat, with a flirtatious smirk replacing that pout in seconds.

"The names Mirage, bonita~ But you can call me yours~" There was a playfulness in his tone, and to Y/N, he seemed very confident and outgoing. Maybe a little flirty, but that's fine with her. Though he does sound rather young, maybe around the same age as Noah? (I don't know how old he is, but I'm guessing maybe around 19-21, also reader is like 6 years older than Noah) And what a strange name, maybe it's a nickname he likes to go by.

"That's the most cheesiest line I've ever heard in my entire life." Y/N let's a chuckle slip through, snapping out of her little mind rant, a small smile making it's way onto her lips.

"Hey I spent a good amount of time on that! Plus, it's not that cheesey.."

"..Was that too cheesey?"

"Dude you're the one who came up with it, not me."

"But you're supposed to be my wingman here! I scratch your back, you scratch mine." There was a small stare down between the two, before Noah sighed.

"...okay maybe it was a little too cheesey-"

"I may not be able to see, but you guys are horrible at whispering."

Y/N was still standing somewhat next to Noah, arms crossed over her chest as she waited for their so called secret conversation to be over with. All the things she wants do is to go to sleep and enjoy her day-off the next day. That's all she asks for.

"Anyway, what's that important thing you wanted to show me, Noah?" She goes to remove the blindfold, but was stopped by a frantic Noah holding her wrists in a soft, but firm, grip.

"Shit! S-Sorry, it's just.." Noah sighs out in frustration, letting go of Y/N's wrists. "I gotta tell you something before I show you the thing." Said woman raised her brow at Noah's behavior. Now's she getting a little worried for what the hell Noah might show her.

"It's.. It's not something illegal, right?"

"No!" He pauses for a few seconds, "At least I don't thin-"

"NOAH-??"

"Right. So, uh, I think it's best if you just..see for yourself?"

"Why do you sound so unsure." Finally glad to be able to take off the damn fabric, Y/N looks at her surroundings, blinking rapidly to adjust her eyes. Her suspicions of being in Noah's garage was correct. But what she wasn't expecting was a huge metal being sitting in the middle of the room, optics on her with a mischievous smile on his face.

"Hey~"

It takes a few seconds before her mind could catch up, her expression blank. When the scene in front of her processed completely, she immediately turned around, walking towards the door with fast and hurried steps.

"Nope. Nu-uh. Not dealing with this shit tonight. Fuck this shit. I'm out. Peace. Adíos. Goodbye forever. So lon-"

"Y/N wait c-come back!"

"And I will walk 500 miles, and I'll walk 500 more-" Grabbing onto the handle, she tries to open it. Only thing was the door jammed repeatedly. "Fucking shit."

"Ouch, they never treated E.T like this." He pouts, dramatically putting the back of his hand to his forehelm. Now he was kind of expecting her to scream or least for her to faint, but this reaction was more amusing.

"Just let me, uh, us explain-!" Noah forcefully put himself between Y/N and the door, holding out his arms so she wouldn't try to go around. A staredown ensues.

"Please..?" Shrugging his shoulders a little with an unsure smile on his face, his attempt to make himself as convincing as possible. With a sigh, she nods, backing away from the door with slight hesitation. Turning back to the robot in question, Mirage has a bubbly smile on his face, optics lighting up.

"There you go! I ain' gonna hurt you," The mech coos teasingly. "Quite a show you put up though, ever thought of doing stand-up comedy?"

Y/N was still a bit tense, looking at the bot in caution. She doesn't even know what to do in a kind of situation like this. Hell, what do you even do in a kind of situation like this?

But despite that, Noah seems to know, Mirage was his name? He seems to know him pretty well, from how well Noah and him seem to get along. It actually explains a lot of things, that you didn't realize until then. How Noah seemed to be very secretive whenever it came to his garage, and seemed to be somewhat cautious whenever someone looks through his things.

"It's okay mami, you can admire this handsome face as long as you like~" Mirage's flirtatious voice broke you out of your mind ramble, a blush covering your face in an instant. You spaced out without realizing it.

"S-shit my bad."

"Heyy, it's alright~ Not often you come across a face like this!" He sticks his glossa out, making a peace sign with his servos as he winks at her. It, oddly made him cute. A small chuckle comes out of the woman, posture now slightly relaxed a little more, but still tense. Thinking this was a dream, she goes to pinch her arm as hard as she can, but no it's no dream. Maybe she had to much edibles before going to bed, and she was just in the streets all sluggish and her mind is throwing delusions at her, just for entertainment. Like a jester of sorts.

But she ran out of edibles 3 days ago, so that's most likely not the reason why.

Like promised, Noah and Mirage explained what, where, who, and why he was on Earth. And that there's more of him. And that they can transform into cars. And he demonstrated this, by transforming into a car himself. The Frankenstein car you were inside not longer than a week ago.

Now the dots were finally connecting.

She continues to ask him a variety of questions, each of which ranging from how long he's been on Earth, why he choose a Porsche to be his alt mode (to which he responded with, "A cool guy like me needs to have a pretty cool alt to go along with it" followed by a flirtatious wink), and how many other people know about his existence. By know your shoulders are less tense, posture completely relaxed as she continues a conversation with (mainly Mirage) the two of them.

And Mirage, being the big flirt he is, kept throwing pick-up lines whenever the chance showed itself, accompanied by a wink and a cute smirk. Each one making you a little flustered.

Eventually Noah had to leave, because apparently Kris never went to sleep in the first place, to busy to defeat Bowser. He knew because Kris accidentally blew his cover via walkie-talkie. So now it's just you and Mirage, all alone in the garage.

It felt somewhat awkward, but Mirage always found a way to break the silence of everything.

"So how'd you meet my boy?"

"His mom, she was a co-worker of mine a few years ago, and decided to invite me over to her house to meet her kids."

"And what, you guys hit it off there?"

Y/N let's out a small chuckle, shaking her head. "Not exactly. He was a little nervous at the start. We only started talking when I offered to babysit Kris." And the conversation continued on from there, leaking into the early hours of the morning.

Mirage knew he wanted to know and see more about the human, she's just so pretty and fascinating! And her reactions and little faces she makes are so cute to him, make him wanna squeeze her little cheeks. His tanks are filled with the fluttery feeling again, the more they talk, the more it increases. Now he knew when to take risks, and this is one of them definitely. He knows he wants to see more of her, to keep talking with her. Just makes his spark go absolutely crazy.

So why not ask her out?

Alright Mirage, you can do this, my man! Don't let that nervous feeling pull you down. C'mon c'mon c'mon! When will you get another chance like this ever again?

After giving himself a small prep talk, Mirage finally asks. "Hey you wanna go to the drive-ins sometime tomorrow? I'd love to keep seeing that pretty face of yours more~" A wink following with a smirk. His confidence was all over the place, and his spark was beating rapidly, like it's going to come out of his chassis. Obviously it wasn't shown on his face, but internally he was a nervous wreck.

You were somewhat taken off-guard by his question, a blush covering your cheeks. Is he asking you out on a date? I mean, he could be asking to hang out more, but his various flirtatious comments and compliments thrown at you made you think otherwise.

Now that she thinks about, he's actually a lot better than any person she's been in a relationship with. He's actually makes her laugh, is nice and gentle, a good listener, and overall quite comfortable to be around with. And he's quite a cutie and handsome one too..fuck it.

"Sure. What time, handsome~?" The mech perked up at her response, optics lighting up. "How 'bout sometime at 7? I know a pretty good spot~"

"Then it's a date." Oh how that word made his spark flutter. He does a little dance and fists his hand in the air for his small victory, Y/N laughing a little at his antics. Her cheeks hurt so much from smiling so much. She's pretty excited for tomorrow's drive-in now.

When Mirage finally settles down, she beckons him down to be at her level, a small mischievous smile on her face. Confused, he does so, couching down until becoming face to face with her smiling face.

Warm lips peck his metal cheek, his optics widening in surprise at the bold gesture, a blue blush makes itself known on his face. The warmth spreading through his entire body as a shiver goes up his backstruts. Now he's for sure his spark might just beat out his chassis. She can practically hear it!

"Something for you to think about until tomorrow~ Goodnight Mirage~" And with that, she leaves the garage, a big smile on her face as she makes her way home, ready to finally crash into her bed and excited for the night tomorrow.

Mirage was left crouching in the garage, a surprised look still of his face, still trying to process what had just happen. His look of shock then quickly shifted to a look of giddiness, letting out a victory whoop as he tries to calm his beating spark.

"Man, what a woman!" And he cannot wait to see her again.

[talaok]

Good afternoon honey, I was wondering if you could write dark! Joel x plus size reader where the reader is suffering with body image and that night you go out to a club and meet Joel but smut? love the blog🥰

Pairing:Joel Miller x plus size!reader

Warnings: body image problems, negative talk of reader's body and self, smut| dub-con, unprotected p in v sex, a bit of degrading, and dark! Joel

A/n: ok ok ok I've never written a plus-size reader so if this is bad just tell me, honestly, I'll delete it, it's fine (yes I'm really nervous about this, I'm scared it's disrespectful) thank you so much for the ask tho babe💗

The dress looked absolutely horrendous on you. It was too tight and too loose in all the wrong places.

Your curves looked like they were stretching the fabric so much it was gonna tear the moment you took a step, and the makeup on your face now just looked like a pathetic attempt at driving people's attention away from it.

This was a mistake, you sighed, looking at the loser staring back at you from the other side of the mirror.

I should have never agreed to this, It's so fucking stupid.

You mumbled to yourself as you unsuccessfully tried fixing the dress in any way that wouldn't make it look so incredibly ridiculous.

Maybe I can pretend I'm sick or something, 

Maybe I got a really bad headache all the sudden,

Maybe I got fucking infected, I don't know, that would be believable. I can just start making some weird ass noises and I doubt she'd still want to go out with me.

"Hey, you ready?" Kora opened the door, causing all your plans to fall apart with one single action.

"yep" you forced a smile "all ready"

"Great, let's go!"

fuck my life man.

__ __ __

"Are you serious?" you asked, actually kind of mad

"I know, I know, I'm sorry"

"you've just met him" you pointed out, frustration and annoyance lacing your tone.

"I know" she repeated "but-" she sighed, glancing back at the man "he's so hot y/n, I mean-"

you rolled your eyes "Whatever, go have fun, I'm just gonna go home"

"no don't go home, you can have fun without me," she said "Maybe with someone else..." she raised her brows suggestively and you felt one breath away from punching her.

You shot her a look.

Yeah, like anyone would want to "have fun" with me

"what?" she asked, clueless

you stared at her, the same expression in your eyes.

"you know what"

"oh my god," she moaned "again with this thing? Y/n you're hot as fuck, anyone with half a brain cell can see that"

You remained silent.

You hated the pity party of having everyone constantly lie to you about how you looked.

Just tell me the truth. I look like shit.

It's fine, I know it, you know it, the whole world fucking knows it so stop talking to me like I'm a fucking baby and tell me the truth.

I can take it. Trust me, I've been telling it to myself since I was born.

"in fact..." A small smirk tugged at her lips as her eyes focused somewhere behind you " I think somebody definitely noticed" she grinned like an idiot as she stared at someone behind you.

"shut up" you stopped her "You know he's not," you said "He's probably looking at you"

"Oh no" she shook her head, that stupid smile still tugging at her lips "No he's definitely looking at you" She waved at him and you immediately grabbed her hand, forcing it down

"stop! what are you doing!?"

"I'm helping you out" she smirked "You'll thank me later," she said with a wink, turning to walk away but not before chuckling a taunting"Have fun"

Goddamnit

You could feel the heat rushing to your cheeks as you sneakily tried to catch a glimpse of whatever Kora was talking about.

She was probably bluffing, you thought as you slowly turned, but just then, you had to think again.

A man was looking at you, no, not looking, staring.

His eyes were pointed at you like a viewfinder in a gun. 

He was sat at a table alone, an empty beer bottle clutched in one hand, and the other one relaxed on his leg.

He looked focused, like a tiger watching a gazelle.

His salt and pepper beard suggested he was older, and so did the lines across his forehead.

But most of all... his eyes were the tell.

His deep brown eyes staring back at yo-

shit

You turned away.

Fuck

I was staring at him,

You clutched your purse to leave, but a voice stopped you in your tracks.

"hi sweetheart"

He sounded exactly how you'd imagined.

You turned to him, your eyes glimmering with shame

"hi" you breathed "Sorry if I bothered you"

He chuckled "A pretty thing like you could never bother me"

he sat down "Besides," he said "I was staring at you first"

You forced a chuckle as an awkward silence fell between you.

"I saw your friend left," he said, sitting down on the stool next to you,

"yeah" You nodded "She does that a lot"

"that's too bad" he cooed "well maybe not entirely" he considered, something switching in his tone.

"What's your name sweetheart?"

"I-I'm y/n"

"y/n" he let your name roll out his mouth with ease "pretty name for a pretty lady" he commented, "I'm Joel"

"nice to meet you" you mumbled, stumbling over your own words.

Was he coming onto you? 

"the pleasure's all mine darling"

He definitely was

But, like... why?

"I'm sorry-do you- do you know my friend?"

He grinned, his white teeth showing "no,"

"she didn't like, tell you to come here or anything?"

A small laugh fled his throat "no sweetheart"

"oh" you breathed "so you came here 'cause..." you trailed off, 

" 'cause you caught my eye from the moment you entered, and when I saw your friend leave you here all alone, I couldn't not offer a bit of company"

You felt a shy smile spill from your lips

" 'got a pretty smile angel" he smirked 

"t-thank you" 

He chuckled again "Why are you so nervous sweetheart?" he asked, his hand traveling to your thigh and stopping all oxygen from getting to your lungs "Is it me? Am I so scary?" his voice got lower as he inched closer "I don't bite y'know?" he joked "not unless you want me to"

A small gasp fled your throat, making him chuckle.

"what is it, angel?"

"I-I'm sorry I'm just not- used to this"

"Now I don't believe that" he murmured "A sweet thing like you?"

"I just-"

"What?"

"nevermind"

"If you want we could go back to my place, and you can tell me all about it with a little more privacy" he suggested, "what do you say?"

Your cheeks were as red as the fire burning in his eyes.

"I-" you stuttered

"I can show you a good time angel"

"I'm sorry" you breathed, leaning away "I'm-I'm sorry I have to go to the bathroom" You stumbled over your own words, clutching your purse and rushing off the stool and through the groups of people in the club.

You didn't even realize you were bumping and hitting every person in your trajectory as all you were focused on was that damn door right in the corner.

Oh my god, what felt like the first actual breath you'd taken in ten full minutes, finally left your mouth as you entered the bathroom.

"oh my god," you mumbled to yourself, walking to the sink to look at your reflection in the mirror.

"what the fuck was that?" you sighed 

Am I dreaming? Is that it?

If that's it this is not funny brain.

I'm so confused,

This is... I mean this is just-

What the fuck is this?

He's hot. Like hot hot and I'm... You looked at yourself, and I'm me.

You took a deep breath, looking around you.

The green stalls were empty, and the music was still blaring from the other side of the door.

You could still picture him, feel him. He was so close to you, and you could feel every molecule of your being dancing as his hand remained on your leg.

God, what the fuck

I don't even know how old he is.

And just then, the door opened.

You turned the faucet on to pretend to be washing your hands, but a voice startled you.

"there you are"

Your eyes snapped open

"T-This is the women's bathroom"

Joel smirked, "you thought you could get away from me that easily?" he asked, taking a step towards you.

"I-" you took a step back, but he followed.

"I was being nice there," he said "complimented you and shit" 

Your back was to a stall and he was right before you.

"and what did you do?" he asked "you ran"

"I didn't mean to, I was j-"

"what, angel?" he mocked "You got shy?"

"well don't you worry" His hand went to your chin, tilting it up "I'll fix that right up" He took another step, imprisoning you "I'll help you out sweetheart, mh?"

Your mouth gaped open to say something, but before you could, his lips were on yours, and his hands on your back were forcing you flush against him.

His tongue moved into your mouth as he quite literally shoved you into the stall behind you, pressing you against the closed door.

"thought you could get away from me?" he growled, kissing your neck as his hands roamed on your body, one of them roughly grabbing your ass "Thought I was just gonna let you go?" he asked, now looking at you.

"oh no angel" he kissed your mouth "I have to have you" he murmured "And I will" He kissed you again, and this time, you found yourself reciprocating.

This was wrong and scary and weird, and still... countless butterflies filled your belly.

"there you go" he praised you "That's a good girl" He moved some hair out of your face " 'knew you wanted this too," he said "knew you'd be good, angel" He smirked before you felt his hands go to your waist.

"turn around for me"

With a little push from him, you did, finding your cheek flush against the door.

"god baby" his hands took in every inch of you, adoration clear in his tone "Wanted to fuck this body of yours since I first saw you" he explained, as he slowly rolled your dress up to your waist until only your panties were left to cover you.

"it's what you wanted too, isn't it," he asked, suddenly grabbing your arms to force them together behind your back "You wanted to be fucked like a little slut didn't you?" he continued as his hand pulled your panties down, the cold hitting your core "didn't you angel?" he urged, his grip tightening as he kissed your neck again.

"I-" You didn't know what to say. you were feeling too many things at once.

"Tell me you want this" he breathed, and you heard his zipper being undone.

"tell me you want this angel," he asked again, his hot breath on the skin of your neck "C'mon, I know you do"

" I do" you admitted, and you felt him smirk.

"that's right" He nodded, positioning himself at your entrance "and you're gonna get it" he promised, pushing himself into you hard.

"fuck" Your moan resembled more of a scream as you tightened your fists on your back

"What angel, can't take it?" he taunted, speeding up " 's too big for you little slut?"

"y-yes" you begged, making him chuckle "I can't take it"

"yes you can" he groaned "You're gonna take it all in this little tight pussy and you're not gonna complain about it, understand?"

"understand?" he asked again, his threatening voice spilling in your ear.

"y-yes I'm sorry"

"good girl" he praised, resuming his violent pace, as a cry fled your mouth and tears filled your eyes.

He smacked your ass and you gasped, but before you could let out a moan, his hand covered your mouth.

The door had opened, and two women had walked in.

"we gotta be quiet, angel" he whispered to your ear

"can you be quiet for me?"

"can you be a good little girl and keep that pretty mouth shut for me?

"mh-mh" you nodded, your breathing made difficult by his hand on your mouth

"atta girl," he said, still fucking you, but much slower, and to your dismay, much deeper.

He was hitting undiscovered spots inside of you, and the mix of the pain from his cock stretching you with the pleasure of each thrust was making it really hard not to moan.

"fuck" he groaned softly in your ear "You've got the tightest little pussy angel," he said "Squeezing me so good" he breathed " like it's made for me"

You whined

"Like you were made to be my little slut" he whispered "and have this little cunt abused by my cock"

Your eyes were wide shut, your orgasm approaching as he kept hitting you so fucking well.

"you coming angel?" he asked and you nodded "We're gonna come together" he purred "I'm gonna fill you up real good" his breathing was ragged "and then you're gonna get out there and dance with my come leaking down your thighs"

"you understand?"

You nodded 

"no cleaning up," he said "I want everyone to know how much of a slut you are" 

The women's voices resumed. Or maybe they never stopped. You had no idea of what was happening beside your impending orgasm.

"fuck" he groaned "Such a good fucking slut" he whispered, his head falling in the crook of your neck, as the door opened again and the women finally got out.

His hand left your mouth

"you coming angel?"

"y-yes"

"then let it all out baby"

[satancopilotsmytardis]

Oh? Do you have an example of those thirst/pining texts?

Tomura: I am going to kill myself

Spinner: It's 6:43 in the morning what the fuck could he have done this time that's got you contemplating death and waking me up?

Spinner: If you tell me you had a dream or something I'm gonna stab you myself and you won't have to worry about suicide.

Tomura: I went down to the gym to train, and I heard water and saw a lot of steam coming out of the locker room. Went in and heard the showers running but all the lights were off. I figured someone might have forgotten to turn them off or something and he was just. In the shower. Fully clothed, drenched, leaning back against the tiles.

Tomura: He was so hot the steam was all coming from /him/. His eyes were practically glowing.

Spinner: and I'm sure that his soaking wet white t-shirt had nothing to do with your current thirst.

Tomura: No, that was definitely a contributing factor. Have you seen his chest?

Tomura: Also you owe me ¥2000, his nipples ARE pierced. He said he was going back out to train. He didn't even dry off because he's evaporating the water. I have to kill myself because if I go back out there and have to watch him train dripping wet I'm going to do something else stupid.

Spinner: at this point I am literally begging you to just go out and ask him to fuck. I cannot deal with this shit anymore. Just fucking rip off the band-aid dude.

Tomura: ....

Tomura: you're right

Spinner: wait, shit, really???

...

Spinner: I DO NOT want details, but did you actually fuck???

Spinner: Seriously, Shig, it's been like 4 hours and no one has seen either of you all day????

Tomura: We didn't fuck.

Tomura: I went out to talk to him and barely got a word out before he collapsed. We're with Ujiko. Dabi apparently is suffering from mild heat stroke, exhaustion, and dehydration. He's on an IV and got a mild sedative to sleep. I'll text the others about the meeting, but we probably won't be back until later tonight or tomorrow.

Spinner: shit, yeah, okay. I hope he feels better soon

Spinner: he works too hard, you both do. You know that the rest of us are here to help if you guys just loosen up a bit, yeah?

Tomura: I know, thank you.

Tomura: He is very cute when he sleeps tho

[Tomura has sent a picture]

Spinner: no, nope, I know you're in love with him but that it some creepy shit dude, even for villains

[Tomura has deleted a picture]

Spinner: it's also creepy if you sit at his bedside and watch him sleep all day.

Tomura: from what I understand, it's very normal for friends and family to stay by someone's side if they're in the hospital. Since he won't tell us about himself, we're the closest thing he has as far as we know. I'm staying

Spinner: Creep

Tomura: I've been called worse

[chelseeebe]

falling. | part 3. to maneater.

summary: steve harrington was the first boy you’d opened up to. so why can’t you stop fucking it up?

c/w: billy is in this and there’s mentions of sexual assault and non-consensual touching so read with caution!

it’s finally done!!!!! i don’t even think i like this but it’s here!!! tumblr deleted a whole chunk of writing so had to redo some parts n ik they aren’t as good as the original <\3 also falling - harry styles especially the first verse rlly got me going for this one.

read part one here. | read part two here.

there had been absolutely no contact with steve. he couldn’t even look at you.

now being shunned from sitting on the table your two groups had taken over, jessica very kindly tells you, ‘it’s probably better if you don’t come, y’know.. just until steve cools down.’

‘right.. guess i’ll see you later then,’ you slink out of the cafeteria, choosing to retreat to your car instead, away from everyone.

to be honest, you weren’t keen on sitting opposite steve anyway. the way his eyes looked at you, all sad and disappointed.

on the friday, you’re sat in your car, willing the next two hours of school to hurry up when your passenger door swings open and a large body collapses into the seat.

‘what the fuck are you doing?’

‘you looked lonely, thought i’d give you some company,’ billy states, throwing his legs on the dashboard.

you shoo his feet off, ‘i was fine on my own, actually.’

‘darling, i’ve seen you sat here every day this week, your boyfriend still mad at you?’ he smirks over at you.

‘he’s not my boyfriend, never has been, but yeah, no thanks to you,’ you hiss, though you can’t solely blame him.

‘you really were wasted, huh? don’t remember what happened after?’ he lights a cigarette, rolling down the window.

‘well no, but i’ve been told.. steve couldn’t wait to throw it in my face, trust me,’ you state, looking over at the curly haired boy.

‘why do you give a shit what he thinks? never had you down as someone that cared what little pretty boys like harrington think of you,’ he takes a drag.

billy was attractive, not in a steve harrington kinda way, more rugged and much less clean-cut.

you reach over and grab the cigarette from him, taking a long drag before handing it back.

‘i don’t,’ you lie, ‘could not care less.’

‘that’s why you’re hiding in your car is it, sweetheart?’ he chuckles, eyes narrowing at you.

‘just fuck off, billy,’ you roll your eyes, unprepared for his home-truths.

he laughs, ‘n leave you all alone? you sure you want that?'

even though it was billy, you had appreciated not being alone at lunch. your friend's hadn't exactly shunned you, but had decided that during lunch they'd rather preserve the peace with their new-found friendship with steve and his group.

'you can stay, as long as you shut up and don't mention steve again,' you fold your arms over your chest, twisting your body to look at him.

'i'm not making any promises,' he flicks the butt of the cigarrette out of the window, turning back to face you.

'there's a party tomorrow, i'll pick you up at eight,' he winks.

in all honesty a party was a welcome distraction to everything at the moment, though billy would not be your usual choice of friend but at this point you weren't left with much choice.

then there's a twinge of guilt in your stomach, thinking of steve and how a party and billy had actually been the sole reason steve now wasn’t speaking to you.

he was the first guy you’d let get that close since moving to hawkins a few years back. an inexplicable feeling bubbles in your stomach as you think back to your date. how you had felt so comfortable with him, telling him things not even your friends had gotten out of you.

and suddenly that awful impulsive urge rises from your stomach. the one that only showed itself when things were becoming too serious with someone.

so fuck it.

you spent the whole of the lunch break with billy, in your car. you hadn't ever pictured your friday to go this way, but you were just happy that someone was actually speaking to you.

you'd neglected to notice steve, who had finished basketball practice, standing just a few metres from your car, glaring at the pair of you sat talking in your car. a frown planted firmly on his face, utter disbelief at how you could even be sat with him after that damned party.

tommy notices steve staring, searching for the cause of his scowl, landing on your car. he swings his arm over his friends shoulder in sympathy.

'bro.. c'mon, let's just go,' he tugs steve away and back into the school.

-

billy is late, obviously.

he wasn’t like steve, ready and waiting for you before you’d even finished getting ready.

you turn your wrist to look at your watch.

8:11pm

you were about to head back inside when you hear the loud car engine pull onto your street, wheels screeching to a halt.

billy grins at you from the window, you roll your eyes and get into the car.

‘you’re late, lucky i was nice enough to wait,’ you pull your skirt down, as it had ridden up past your thighs. not unnoticed by billy.

‘sorry darlin’, looking good though,’ he eyes up your thighs.

‘just drive, i need a fucking drink,’ you stare, flipping him the middle finger.

he chuckles, speeding off down the street.

-

you’d told yourself that there was absolutely no way you were getting as wasted as last time. but here you were, head spinning as you stumble up to the stairs and into the bathroom.

billy follows closely behind, pushing his way into the bathroom, ‘not tapping out, are ya doll face?’

‘no, i’m fine.. just need a minute,’ you lean your hands on the counter, looking at your blurry reflection in the mirror.

billy presses himself against your back, hands finding your waist as you watch him grin in the mirror.

you spin your body round to face him, placing a hand on his chest to push him back, ‘i’m not fucking you billy,’ shaking your head.

‘oh c’mon, i’ve been waiting all night for this darlin’,’ his fingers begin to slide up your thigh, disappearing under your skirt.

‘no billy, i’m not doing that,’ you place your hand on his wrist, trying to move his hand.

his expression hardens as he leans his face closer to yours, his fingers now gripping your jaw, ‘you’re joking.. everyone knows what a little slut you are, what’s the problem? don’t tell me it’s harrington.’

his fingers tear a hole in your tights, latching onto the hem of your underwear and you freeze.

your eyes squeeze shut, ‘i just don’t want to have sex with you.. get off of me,’ your voice shakes.

he runs his thumb over your bottom lip before letting go, backing away from the counter, ‘whatever, you’re a little cock-tease,’ he walks out of the bathroom, slamming the door so hard the walls shake.

you sigh, wiping away the tears that had slipped out and rolled down your cheek.

you’d yet again made a gigantic mess of everything.

now left stranded at some random party, god knows where.

so, you do the sensible thing and walk down the stairs and out of the house, stumbling down the street as you pass the party goers.

you walk and walk, until you end up on the familiar street.

you don’t really know what you’re doing until you’re at the door, boots in hand as your knuckles wrap against the wood.

there were now holes in your tights, black mascara smudged down your cheeks and the red lipstick you’d chosen now anywhere but your lips.

you glance at the time on your watch

3:32am.

it had taken you an hour to even get here.

the door swings open and a shirtless steve stands in the doorway, hair sticking up every which way.

‘y/n? why are y- what happened?’ his tone becoming concerned as he notices your disheveled appearance and the leather boots in your hand.

you shrug, swallowing the lump in your throat, ‘i didn’t know where else to go..’ the lump rises as a cry escapes your mouth.

his arms are around your body, pulling you into his chest, before you can say another word.

you cry as he pulls you into the house, running his hand down your back. you can only cling onto him, only crying harder because you didn’t deserve this kindness from him.

‘hey.. what happened?’ he questions, pulling away to make you look up at him.

‘i was.. at a party and- and billy..’ you’re interrupted with a sob, unable to finish the sentence.

his eyes go from soft to filled with anger at the mention of his name.

‘what? what did he do?’ he spits, with the state of you it couldn’t have been good.

‘he just- he tried to touch me and.. and i said no and-,’ you’re interrupted by a sob, unable to even tell steve.

you can feel his body stiffen, ‘he didn’t… did he?’

shaking your head, you swallow attempting to conceal your cries, ‘no.. he just.. touched me.. it’s my fault, i shouldn’t have even gone..’

‘no, no it’s not at all.. c’mon let’s get you cleaned up,’ he pulls his body from yours, now taking your hand and walking you up his stairs.

the second time he’d come to your drunken rescue. you felt awful for relying on him so much.

but truthfully, steve would rather know that you’re safe with him than out there. no matter what had happened between you.

he gently wipes the remains of your makeup off with his moms face wipes, offering you the spare toothbrush and even turning around as you change into yet another one of his t-shirts, this time foregoing the sweatpants.

‘got my own collection going on,’ you laugh weakly, sitting on the edge of his bed.

he exhales, ‘s’pose you do.. they look better on you anyway,’ he stands in the doorway, ready to go to the guest bedroom.

‘can you.. stay in here.. only if you want to,’ you whisper, pulling back the duvet for him.

he walks over to the bed, ‘of course i want to.. whether i should is another story,’ he climbs into the bed, laying back.

‘you should,’ you lean your head back onto the pillow, staring at the cream coloured ceiling.

steve flicks the lamp off, turning on his side to go to sleep.

you’re sure he’s asleep before you let out the first silent cry, hand held over your mouth.

your shoulders shake as you sniffle, slightly louder than intended.

and then you feel steve’s arm snake around your waist, pulling you into his chest.

‘i’m sorry.. i thought you were asleep..’ you mumble.

‘no.. can’t sleep,’ he grumbles in response, still holding onto your waist.

you turn your body to face his, looking up at his shadowy face, admiring the way the moon cascaded over his features. you can just about make out his eyes staring back into yours.

‘me too..’

the eye contact is heavy, and you’re half tempted to reach up and kiss him.

steve clearly has the same thought, his lips colliding with yours with his free hand now cupping your face.

but this kiss is different, there’s no lust, no desire behind it. not like before. this kiss was soft, full of warmth and emotion.

he pulls back, searching for your eyes in the darkness, ‘c’mon you need to sleep.’

you nod slightly, resting your head on his chest and exhaling deeply.

his fingers trace patterns into your shoulder, chin resting on the top of your head.

eventually your breathing becomes heavy on his chest as you drift off to sleep.

his fingers slide through your hair with his other arm wrapped tightly around your shoulders, holding you close to his body.

he whispers into your hair, ‘you’re killing me here..’

eventually falling asleep, nuzzled into your hair.

-

it's noon before you wake up, steve's arm around your waist as he snores lightly.

he looked so peaceful when he was asleep, the usual furrow of his brow replaced with an undisturbed, stillness to his face.

you smile at the image, not wanting to wake him but desperately needing the bathroom.

you manoeuvre your body out of his grasp and tiptoe to the bathroom.

when you come back to the room steve is awake, sat up against his headboard.

‘i thought.. i thought you’d snuck off again,’ he exhales, running his hand through his hair.

you shake your head, ‘not this time,’ sitting at the end of the bed.

‘what happened last night?’ he asks, not wanting to press too much.

you sigh, looking down at your hands, ‘he.. he touched me.. i said no but he.. just-,’ you stop yourself.

steve reaches over, placing his hand over yours for reassurance.

‘he grabbed me.. called me a slut and a tease- i don’t wanna talk about it..’

‘you should go to the police, obviously if you want to.. but he shouldn’t get away with that,’ he squeezes you hand, his tone now full of disgust.

‘no, i’m not.. it’s fine- i’m fine,’ you look up at him, eyes glossy with tears.

‘you do-,’ he sighs, exasperated, ‘okay, it’s your choice.. but i’m just telling you now that i am going to kill him.’

you chuckle through the tears, ‘you couldn’t kill a fly.’

‘hey! i could and i have,’ he feigns offence.

you groan, using steve’s blanket to wipe away your tears.

‘are you okay?’ he questions quietly.

you nod, ‘i’m fine.. are you okay?’

‘why would i not be?’

‘because.. of me,’ you shrug, ‘what i did..’

he squeezes your hand, ‘it doesn’t matter.. you were right, you aren’t my girlfriend.. i can’t expect you to act like it,’ he sighs; slightly frowning.

his eyes are sad, gazing down at you.

‘it was still shitty.. i’m really sorry steve.. i’m trying to be a different person, better, but it’s hard..’

he exhales, ‘look.. we don’t need to speak about this now..’

you nod, appreciating his kindness. even if you were totally undeserving.

‘c’mon, i’ll take you home,’ he runs his thumb over your hand before standing from the bed.

you’re stood at his door when he picks up the skirt you’d worn last night. it had been a favourite but now you couldn’t even stand to look at it.

‘burn it,’ you say, disgusted at the sight of the skirt.

it goes unnoticed when steve grits his teeth, seething at how billy’s actions had made you feel so little. a shell of the you he knew.

-

you hesitate going into the cafeteria. there was still an air of uncertainty around you and steve despite you turning up on his doorstep sunday morning.

you notice the group of students now stood at the window, jeering and gasping at some commotion outside.

before you can decide whether to join them, jessica sprints up to you, 'you need to come, now,' pulling your arm towards the door to the forecourt.

'what? what's going on?' you query, stumbling as she drags you along.

'it's steve..,' she pants, breathless as she'd had to sprint to find you.

your eyes immediately land on the group of high-schoolers, crowded around the bustle you'd noticed from the window.

pushing through the crowd you spot steve squared up to billy, his hand shoving his backwards, billy tumbling back.

'fucking creep,' steve spits, stepping up once again.

'what's the problem? did i touch your little girlfriend? that little slut wanted it,' billy bites back, returning the shove to steve only a little harder.

you bite the inside of your cheek, guilty that you were the reason for the fight. his words sting, memories of the spiteful words he had spat at you in the bathroom flooding back.

steve lunges for the boy, landing a particularly hard punch to his cheek sending billy backwards towards the crowd.

billy clutches his cheek, a smile on his lips at the utter disbelief of steve's actions.

the denim clad boy tackles steve to the ground, pulling his arm back to sock him in the face, repeatedly, each hit harder than the last.

you gasp, elbowing the boys in front of you out of the way and stepping up towards billy, you grab onto his jacket in an attempt to stop him.

'fucking stop it!' you screech, pulling his arm back and away from steve.

billy pushes you backwards, falling to the floor as the crowd let out a collective 'ooh'.

fortunately for steve, ms. kelly gets into the middle of the circle as one of the gym teachers restrains billy.

you rush over to steve, his face now bruised and bloody. you cradle his head in your arms, trying to clean off some of the blood to assess how badly he was hurt.

he looks up at you, eyes squinting at the bright light, 'i'm sorry.. he deserved it though.'

you shake your head, though you can't hide the smile on your face, ‘we could've slashed his tyres or something, now look at you.'

eventually, you alongside one of his teammates take him inside, his arm resting on your shoulder.

you press the ice pack to his face, shuffling in the uncomfortable office chairs while you wait for the principle to finish speaking to billy.

'i think you're a fucking idiot for doing that.. but i wanted to thank you.. for defending me n' that..'

he turns to face you, 'oh that? wasn't for you.. i just really really wanted to get beat up,' he winces at his split lip as he smiles.

'it was kinda hot.. y'know the ten seconds before he beat the shit out of you,' you giggle. it was true, angry steve was hot, just not when he was angry at you.

your head jolts to the open door, as billy saunters out. steve had got a pretty good hit in, with billy's cheek now adorned with a new blue bruise.

he glares at the two of you, his lip snarling as if to say something but he restrains himself.

‘mr. harrington,’ mr. davis calls, gesturing towards his office.

you both stand at the same time, ‘you can stay here miss. (y/l/n),’ the principle nods.

‘no, i’m coming,’ you walk into the office and take a seat before steve.

mr. davis is shocked at your gumption, beginning his spiel about fighting and how it’s unacceptable in the school environment.

‘so unfortunately, i’ve got no choice but to suspend you-,’

‘no,’ you cut him off, ‘that’s not fair, it’s my fault he was even fighting, so you can either suspend both of us or neither of us,’ you cross your arms, staring at your principal.

‘well.. now we can’t do that.. school policy states that we need to punish anyone fighting,’ david states, leaning forward on his desk.

‘so suspend me too.’

steve gawps at you, mouth open at your brave actions, utterly speechless.

‘i don’t think that would be wise miss (y/l/n), it’s a one week suspension,’ he attempts to persuade you to concede.

you shrug, ‘i don’t care.’

‘okay.. well.. then you’re both suspended, i’ll be in contact with both of your parents.. i expect you back, not fighting, next monday,’ your principal sighs.

you stand up and exit the room, stone-faced as you barrel out of the school.

steve jogs to catch up with you, ‘wait.. wait, why the fuck did you do that?’ his fingers curl around your wrist.

‘because it’s my fault you were even fighting.. only fair that i take some of the blame,’ you turn to him only inches away from his swollen face.

a laugh erupts from his throat at the sheer absurdity of it all. it’s contagious as you burst out laughing with him.

‘we look crazy..’ you mutter, noticing the stares from nosy students out of the classroom windows.

‘you are crazy,’ he says, fingers still wrapped around your wrist.

‘i’m not the one throwing punches at someone twice my size,’ you state, grinning at him.

he scoffs, ‘twice? i don’t think so.’

you shake your head, ‘let’s get out of this shit hole, you’ve just bagged me a week off.. i’m not wasting that.’

you walk over to your car, looking back at steve stood gawping at you.

‘i.. i drove so i’ll uh- see ya,’ he begins to walk to his car, fumbling in his pockets for his keys.

‘are you sure you’re alright to drive? your eye’s pretty fucked..’ you were just desperate to not let him walk away once again.

‘yeah.. this is not my first time being beaten up, believe it or not,’ he half jokes, wobbling over to his car.

‘well.. uh, do you wanna do something later? i think i owe you for defending my honour,’ you call after him.

he turns to look at you, ‘okay, dinner is definitely on you though.’

‘i’ll even come and pick you up.. six, so you better be ready,’ you open the car door, sliding into the seat.

you both drive home grinning at your nondate-date.

-

you’d never been so nervous, stomach doing flips at the thought of seeing him.

you pull up on his drive, giving your outfit a once over before sounding the horn. you’d opted for more casual wear, a difference to the usual short skirts and revealing tops steve normally saw you in.

he appears at the door before limping over to your car. he groans as he attempts to sit in the car, his bruises now visible on his face.

‘are you sure you’re okay to go out?’ you question, wincing at his cut hands.

‘yeah.. i’m fine.. just a bit sore,’ he mumbles.

‘mm, you look it, c‘mon.. we can just order pizza and watch a movie, it’s okay,’ you hop out and walk around the passenger side, helping him out of your car.

he wraps his arm around your waist, supporting himself with your body, ‘you could’ve said this before i dragged myself all the way over here,’ he jokes.

‘steve, i’ll fucking drop you.’

you help him into the house, placing him down on the sofa before looking around at the large house.

you’d never really seen it through sober eyes, suddenly noticing the childhood photos dotted around.

‘are your parents not home?’ you question, the quiet echoed around the house.

‘nah.. they never are,’ he shrugs, there’s a certain sadness to his voice as he settles into the cushions.

‘oh.. at least they don’t know that you’re suspended i guess..’ you try to spin it positively but you can tell just how hurt he is.

‘yeah.. i guess..’

you sit down on the couch next to him, grabbing the phone from the table and passing it to him.

‘c’mon.. it’s my treat so get whatever you want,’ you cross your legs up onto the couch, watching him on the phone. completely enamoured with his every little move.

-

there’s some action film on the tv, not your first choice obviously.

your knees are tucked into your chest as steve leans against you, head on your shoulder. you honestly weren’t even sure he was still awake.

‘i’m really sorry, steve,’ it comes out in barely a whisper.

you hear him sigh, ‘i know.. it’s okay,’ he lifts his head off of your shoulder, now looking at you.

‘no, steve.. it’s not okay.. i hurt you and that’s not okay..’ you can’t bare to look at him, into his sad, doe eyes, instead playing with the hem on your jeans.

‘it is.. im telling you that it is.. you aren’t my girlfriend and..’ he exhales, ‘it’s okay that you don’t want to be.. i shouldn’t have just expected it from you..’

you’re still picking at the loose thread on your jeans, ‘but i do.. i do want that.. i just- there’s something wrong with me and i just can’t help it, i fuck everything up.. i hurt people..’ you shake your head, quickly wiping away the tear that had slipped out.

being so vulnerable with him made you sick to your stomach. the first person in a long time to tap into this part of you, the side you had buried deep down.

he swallows before putting his hand on your knee, ‘you haven’t.. fucked anything up, i’m still here aren’t i?

you’re brave enough to slowly look up at him through sodden eyelashes, blinking at his words.

‘you know.. i’ve been begging to hear you say that for so long..’ he breathes, inching closer to your face.

‘i don’t wanna hurt you..’ you murmur, his hand cupping your cheek as he wipes your damp cheek.

he leans forward, placing his lips on your yours. the kiss is similar to the one you’d shared in his bed on sunday morning, soft with no ulterior motives. affectionate and gentle, something you hadn’t felt in a long time.

he pulls away, pressing his forehead to yours as his thumb still tracing your cheek, ‘then don’t.’

you nod, placing your hand on top of his before kissing his lips again. carefully placing your other hand on his bruised cheek, sure to be gentle with him.

‘does this mean you’re my girlfriend?’ he mumbles into the kiss.

you laugh against his lips, ‘if you want me to be..’

he pulls back to look at you, ‘i want nothing more,’ the corners of his mouth twitch into a smile.

‘then i’m yours.’

[rubra-wav]

I know your read are closed, so you can delete this if you want or save for later but what about Vox x reader who is INCREDIBLY similar to him

-🦋anon

(Yes it is and official now. You also got me into Vox and I love him and his toxicity<3)

[ Entry #11 ] Vox with a reader who's incredibly similar to him

A/N Split into 2 parts because I have different thoughts on this one 🙏

Also some of these go into different posts I've made with headcanons and posts I'm gonna make atsp so yeah.

I strongly believe that option 2 is the best type of partner for someone like Vox.

CW: SFW, gn!reader, this is written with romantic relationships with him in mind but platonic in section 2 would also really work ngl

Someone exactly like him

- Exactly like him?

- He would actually hate you straight up.

- That's not in a self depreciating Vox actually hates himself way either-

- He wants constant power and control over everything and everyone.

- So someone trying to do the same? That would piss him off and honestly just make him try fight you into submission.

- Because if you're exactly like him, you would be trying to do the same to everyone, including him.

- I also get the sense that he wouldn't like someone like himself because dude needs to feel individual and special or his ego shatters to a million pieces lmao.

- So someone who's got the exact same personality, mask, motivations, even issues as him is an instant fuck no.

- He's very likely got a pathological fear of being replaced due to being an older tech demon (constantly trying to change his parts to be new and the best there is), so someone who's exactly like him, as maladaptive and parasitic to everything and everyone is instantly going to have him feeling threatened.

- May even try to pull a 'there can only be one' and possibly try to take you out over that. Especially if you're gaining notoriety at all.

- If you're just some random, he will probably just scoff and hypnotise you to stay tf away from him. May also try to shackle you into a contract under him because it gets his sadistic ass off to exercise power over those he deems a potential threat.

- The thing about being fake is also that fake usually knows fake. Shitty people see other shitty people. Especially when that shittiness is similar, let alone the same.

- He would be able to see through your shit, and you would likely be able to see through his too which would terrify him.

- He has his mask of perfection over his mask of being a total asshole to stave off anyone who scratches below the surface, and that sits over the actually vulnerable person he is under everything.

- So you being able to see that he's fake is instantly going to have him gunning to take you out or silence you in some way.

- Not to mention, he doesn't want to see his own flaws as being flaws. He needs to be seen as perfect (both by others but also himself) and deludes himself into thinking he's a God amongst men just waiting to become even more powerful then he already is.

- So having someone who is an exact mirror of not only his false presentation he puts out but also every single terrible, shameful thing about him?

- That would be absolutely chilling for him.

- I also say this because someone who's the exact same as him wouldn't want to change or better themselves at all either. I'll elaborate on why I mention this in the next section.

Someone who is like him but not an exact copy of him / or who was exactly like him but is recovered

- I think that a lot of the above would still apply, however, it would be less to the point that you would actually be an extremely desirable partner for him.

- In the beginning he'd absolutely still see you as a threat and try to avoid you/bring you down to a lesser position of power then him.

- But if you manage to get him over that with you?

- Yeah he's gonna be into a relationship with you.

- Vox needs a partner who can push him to change, to actually love him properly, but also satisfy his need to fight/ feel like he needs to win in the relationship and actually fight back against him on an equal playing field.

- A partner who's gunning for control and power but like. To a less extreme point, then what he goes at with devaluing the other person completely in that process would be something he's into.

- It's extremely entertaining to him to have rivalry in a partner, so if you are also publicly at odds with one another on the outside?

- Yeah, he's gonna be going crazy about it.

- Even better if he's losing the public rivalry.

- He will complain like an absolute bitch but the more you take his power - perceived or not - over you and your actions away from him, the more you're going to ease him into trying to mend his bs.

- Again, equal playing field is what's important. If he doesn't see his partner as an inherent equal then that's gonna be bad for obvious reasons, you being alike to him in several ways would level that more/make it easier to level.

- Also its good because if you've already managed your own similar/ former same behaviours, then you already have an idea of what direction and buttons to push with him to get him doing better.

- You would have a better chance at easing him into recovery to actually change rather then the chance that he'll pretend to change to manipulate you, or that he'll just push back out of spite because it feels like you're trying to control him.

- It's not all the same dealing with more complicated bad behaviour, of course, but it does certainly give you more of an idea of what will work as to what won't that other partners who are unlike him wouldn't have.

I kinda went more analysis here then overall warmth/drabble - sorry if that's what you more wanted 😭 I was just very excited to analyse this idea.

Masterlist

[sejanusxcoriyo]

Pairings: Josh Andrés Rivera x Fem!Actress!Reader/ Tom Blyth x Rachel Zegler

Face Claim: Coco Jones

Type: Social Media Au

Summary: After filming is over, you wind up becoming really good friends with Josh, but he gets a girlfriend. You are extremely jealous, but he's happy, right?

A/N: The photos posted of Josh and Rachel, just imagine they are someone else, anyone but Rachel or yourself. I'll be updating my masterlist later today!! Just a little treat since today is my birthday! I'll be on hiatus for the next few days to enjoy my birthday, and I also have a job interview coming up I need to get ready for! Thank you for all the love, follows, reposts, and everything, I love you guys soo much🫶🏾🫶🏾🫶🏾

Warnings: Cussing

Ynuser

Ynuser I've never had so much fun filming before. The Ballad of The Songbirds and Snakes is officially finished filming. Check it out in theaters November 17th!

Liked by: Rachelegler, tomblyth, thehungergames, and 45,732 others

Tagged: @/tomblyth @/rachelzegler

View all comments

Rachelzegler love you bestie🫶🏾

↪️Joshfan1 Why haven't we seen her post, Josh anymore?

↪️ynfan1 I was just about to ask the same thing🙄

↪️ynuser love you more Rach😘

Tomblyth stop stealing my lady's photos🤺

↪️ynuser Or what?🤷🏾‍♀️ don't forget I helped yall get together🫤

↪️rachelzegler 👀

↪️rachelfan1 that's the kinda stuff you watch from a distance😭

Popcrave

Popcrave Hunger Games star Josh Rivera posted and deleted this from his story, new couple alert?

Tagged: @/joshandresrivera

View all comments

Ynfan1 SINCE WHEN?

↪️Ynfan2 I stalk this man's page faithfully and I NEVER SAW THIS

Joshfan1 He has a gf, so get over yourselves🙄

↪️joshynfan2 stfu

Tomfan1 if only this wasn't true🤦🏾‍♀️

↪️ynfan3 he posted and deleted? It's true, he just didn't want anyone finding out

Ynfan4 him and y/n had such good chemistry together😩

↪️joshfan3 I wish they would get together🙏🏾

Rachelfan1 so yall think that maybe her and Josh are just friends?🙄

↪️tomfan2 right? They act like Josh and y/n can't just be friends

↪️ynfan5 it's not that, have you seen the way she talks about him??

↪️joshfan4 have you seen how he lights up when he mentions her, they are in love

↪️ynfan6 apparently not

Tomfan3 please stop feeding into this bs, they probably fuckin lying anyways🤷🏾‍♀️

↪️tomfan4 at, cus I have been in this comment section for a lil min and nobody has netioned seeing this photo😂

↪️tomfan3 exactly my point🙄

Text message

Ynuser

Ynuser we already know, my face card don't decline😘

Liked by: rachelzegler, tomblyth, and 44,874 others

Tagged: @/Rachelzegler

View all comments

Ynfan1 oh she petty, petty😂

↪️ynfan2 right, but we love to see it😌

Joshfan1 damn she looks good🤩

Joshynfan somebody betta tell Josh come get his womannn👀

↪️joshfan2 he has a gf🙄

↪️ynfan3 we know, shut up

Rachelzegler GIVING, FUCKING STUNNING😍😍😍

↪️ynuser at least I can get someone's attention😘

↪️ynfan4 OH, YEAH SHE PETTY😭😭

Joshfan3 @/joshandresrivera COME GET YO GIRL BRUH, SHE PLAYIN OUT CHEA

↪️Rachelzegler shut the fuck up🤬

Comments have been limited

[crystalkitty1220]

What’s Curse!IBVS? :0

Guess this is gonna be my monthly check-in

Curse!IBVS is an IBVS horror AU heavily inspired by Razmerry's Warriors AU "The Cursed Three". I thought the concept of "What if the main characters' powers were actually harmful?" was really cool and wanted to see if I could twist the IBVS characters' powers in a similar way. I think I've deleted most of my old posts about it because I quite simply just didn't like it, and I've slowly been reworking it ever since.

Trigger warning for general spooky stuff, non-graphic body horror, major character death, child death, unintentional hanging, unintentional self-injury and probably a bunch of other things.

The easiest powers to curse-ify were Nevin and Edward's. Admittedly, Nevin's curse was really just a mix of Lionblaze and Jayfeather's from Razmerry's AU (because Lion has super strength and Jay has empathy, and Nevin has both plus a secret third thing and also an aura). Since last time I've posted anything about it, I've shimmied the curse around a bit into something that feels more unique and fitting for him.

Most difficult was between Chris and Dez. I've still got nothing for Dez because I don't want to make it too similar to Nevin or Edward's "be super careful at all times" curses. Chris, on the other hand, doesn't even really have a power of his own?? In the first and second versions, Charlie was some demon with a grudge against the entire Jackson family or whatever, but I just don't really feel like that works. So I've kept him and Chris being a bit closer to their originals, but Charlie's ghost situation is worse, and Chris gets no benefits. As I implied in my last post, if I actually wrote some kind of fic or something, Chris would be the main character as to ease the reader into the curses.

I could keep typing, or I could just copy-paste all of my rewrite notes into this post. Keep in mind these were written in a google doc that I shared with @echosoftheflower, so I might have some stuff directed to them.

-

Updated Curse!IBVS notes

Curses

•Isaac: Drawings will always be alive, even if he doesn’t take them off the page. Drawings removed from the page will always move in strange and unnatural ways, and look kinda fucked up. When they run out of time, the drawings die a gruesome death (unless they remain on a page, in which case they stay alive and watching until the art is destroyed). Just a minor god complex. Appearance does change to look more sketch-like over time, though I'm removing the part about his specific sketches getting tattooed onto his skin.

•Edward: With any sudden movement of his hands, strings will grab and strangle/destroy anything in front of them. They will actively seek out something to wrap around, and never miss their target. He never told his family because of guilt over what happened to Barry. [Added note: I'll elaborate later.] He wears gloves, but that only directs the strings back to his arms, where they dig in. He’s grown quite used to that pain by now. His bones are really strong, they basically just can’t break (except a half-hearted punch from Nevin would crack them quite easily). His skin's also pretty tough. [Note: I really only made his bones and such stronger so that his hands don't just get snapped by his own strings. That's not due to a lack of him trying.] His intuition is also strengthened, so it’s less like random hunches and more like just knowing things. He never learned about anyone else’s powers, and he doesn’t remember a certain time when he realized they had them, at some point he just knew. His intuition will probably never break the fourth wall, but no promises. (Debating: His intuition also tells him about things happening in other AUs, so he can never be sure which hunches are real and which aren’t.) [Note: Still considering that one.]

•Chris: honestly he might just be normal. charlie’s the supernatural one. No knife privileges, that's for sure.

•Charlie: things really can’t get much worse for him. Stronger? He can possess Chris for longer? I definitely want it to be impossible for him to be separated from Chris - maybe one or the other will die if such a ritual is attempted.

•Nevin: Super-strength so strong that touching anything with too much force will crush it. Empathy so strong that it’s nearly impossible to differentiate others’ emotions from his own. Aura so strong it’s.. actually not that bad compared to some multiversal entities I can name. He can prevent himself from destroying things by staying calm/positive and focusing (since his powers are tied to emotions), but the empathy combined with the aura makes it really hard to do that. [He needs to stay positive to control his strength, but he unintentionally causes fear in others, and then he's forced to feel that fear. Oof.] Goop shenanigans tbd.

•Drew: Colors take up most of his vision. Instead of his powers simply healing him, branches weave in and out of his skin, trying to patch up whatever’s wrong. Was hugged by Nevin once when they were kids. Got a bit of a Snow White situation going on at the moment, but more crushed and looking vaguely like the aftermath of hanahaki. The blossoms [apple blossoms] are more vibrant than the universe’s color palette generally allows, and change color depending on nearby [or his own] emotions (if there are any). Sometimes people will hike near where Drew is, and if Nevin’s nearby he will always scare them away. Nevin can still sense Drew's emotions, and Drew can even kinda tell what Nevin’s feeling when he’s nearby.

•Dez: [Very small image of "He hurls his thunderbolt!"] [Suggestions from Echos:] Forgetfulness? Seizures?

•Bullet point for Harley [I'm still anticipating the reveal of him having powers]

Aesthetic [Personal notes for when I'm drawing, or for Echos]

•Artstyle inspiration: Courage the Cowardly Dog, BatIM, Tim Burton, abitfrank, LavenderTowne, Paprikup, Litchi Kitti, and ofc Razmerry themself.

•All colors are dull, except for the ones in Isaac’s drawings (mostly monochrome, but the colors that are there are uncomfortably saturated) and the flowers from Drew.

•Constant cloudy day. The sun and moon aren’t visible, but there is a lighter patch in the sky around where they would be. No stars either. Sunsets and sunrises are sepia yellow, or sometimes a desaturated red. It seems like there are always fewer clouds on nights when Nevin visits Drew - stars are actually visible then, and so it the moon (fullness of moon should reflect Nevin's current state).

•Tree branches curl a lot and tend to have thorns. Knots are large and cause the tree’s shape to be curvier. Roots stick close to the surface. Most leaves are gone, despite it still being early fall.

•Bushes are similar to trees but with more thorns and fewer leaves.

•Animals will usually just be drawn as shadowy figures with unnaturally fast and sudden movements. When drawn with more detail, they’re spiky with pencil-thin necks, small eyes, no other facial features, needle-like teeth (if mouth is open), and bug-like limbs. They’re generally rare, as the impression should be given that there’s not much nature or life nearby.

•NPCs [background characters] are uncommon despite the school having the same number of students as in OG. When shown, they should be undetailed and unresponsive to the main characters, as if the school is populated by ghosts. In fact, there should be a lot more hushed, overlapping voices than visible NPCs, and none should be able to be traced back to any single person. NPC numbers should be increased when Nevin is the main focus, and they should be even more ghost-like, but louder. NPCs should be less ghost-like when Edward is the main focus.

•Water is dark and murky, but is water.

•The school has some murals around it, most of them courtesy of Isaac. The eyes in those paintings always seem to be watching you. A lot of the murals are of gray foxes attacking other schools’ mascots, in honor of wins Foxfield sports teams have had against those schools. I’m purposefully leaving how realistic/distorted/unsettling the paintings are up for interpretation because that depends on what you headcanon Isaac’s style to be.

Misc.

[Describing the appearances pretty vaguely on purpose because I prefer when designs are left up to interpretation. The only canon details about their designs are the ones listed here. Any other details I draw should be considered headcanon - yes, even for my own AU]

•Funnily enough, Isaac is more similar to my original plan for him than the previous version was.

•Isaac’s appearance: Same fashion sense as OG (light clothing, which I find surprising considering this man looks like he has no body heat), and for the most part unchanged if not for the half of him that looks like it was drawn.

•The style of the sketch half is up for interpretation, depending on what you headcanon Isaac’s art style to be. It might be cool if you could see the style change as it gets closer to the non-sketch side, showing the progression of his style over time. So his ear would just be like a circle and his nose would be his current style. I didn’t do that in my concept sketches tho.

•He's gradually painting a design on his jacket, but only has half of it done at the moment.

•[Echos and I tend to come up with nicknames like this, just in case. Habit from the UTMV.] His multiversal nickname could be Sepia or Vignette, but Vignette might be more fitting for Ghost of Foxfield. Bistre could also work.

•Isaac's room is very decorated. His blanket is embroidered to look like a pile of snakes, which he thinks are pretty silly, but will try to constrict around anything (that isn't him) that the blanket is wrapped around. His closet doors are painted like a cave opening, but the handles look like two little glowing eyes in the darkness, and the stalactites and stalagmites look like teeth. His carpet has a dead tree on it, which looks an awful lot like a hand. There are eyes painted on the bottom ridge of his bedframe.

•At some point, Edward started chilling in the lair with the previous king’s squad, completely uninvited. This confused everyone who was not high school royalty. [Edward just kinda knew that he was gonna be the next king, and the current king knew it, too. No exchange necessary.]

•Edward? Blaming himself for the death of one of his peers? In an AU by one of us? It’s more likely than you’d think.

•[This part wasn't on the doc since it hasn't changed much, but I'll put it here for you] Some of you might be wondering why Barry hasn't been mentioned yet. That's because when Edward first got his powers, when he was trying to save Barry from the cliff, the strings caught onto Barry's neck. Edward was missing for a while - his strings caught on everything, digging deep into trees, cutting through branches and bushes, tugging him around, damaging his own skin - and when he was found, he was in his family's own garage, wearing a pair of heavy-duty gloves that were much too big for him. Barry was found before Edward, but Ed remained silent about the death, or anything that had happened while he was missing. Growing up, he's regularly brought to speak to therapists (and sometimes police), but he still refuses to talk about it.

•Edward’s appearance: Outfit almost identical to OG, plus a pair of gloves. He usually keeps his hands relaxed in his letterman’s pockets. His hair is a lot messier, as he doesn’t spend much time on it.

•Was gifted a pair of gloves from Isaac. These gloves have bramble thorns embroidered on them.

•Chris and Nevin become friends very quickly, but a part of it was just because Nevin thought Chris might be able to talk to Drew. Zombie bush things are kinda similar to ghosts, right? Right?

•Man, I wonder whose aesthetic should be based on black-and-white movies? Does anyone quite fit that description? Maybe a certain oreo?

•I’m in love with the Murder By Bramble color palette. Definitely going with something like that. The pop of red is just *affectionate popcat noises* [For context, Murder By Bramble is a really cool Warrior Cats Multi-Animator Project which I have on my playlist for Curse inspiration.] [Also, any time I draw anything for Curse, the style will be changed a bit to fit the character it's centered around. For Chris, the colors would be almost full black-and-white. Normally (or when centered around Isaac, who has the default), however, they'd just be desaturated.]

•Drew-centered vibes are heavily inspired by the Brokenstar Absinth PMV. Psychedelic, bright contrasting colors with complex, cluttered patterns and very shaky lines. Hollyleaf Look Away PMV vibes, too, but more for Nevin. Litchi Kitti’s art is such a huge inspiration for me and I will not stop gushing about it, actually.

•Apple blossoms and thorns. That’s so much of his aesthetic.

•I’m vaguely imagining those flameless fireworks from MLP for the flowers, but in apple blossom form.

•How did Drew get to Foxfield? [Comment from Echos: trunk] Good question. I’m going to say after the mess Nevin made when he got his super strength, his grandmother showed up because his father and stepmother were afraid of him. She took Nevin back to where she was living and Drew was moved to a hospital near them because she thought he should be where Nevin could easily visit. Then the doctors started pointing out the fucking tree branches growing in this boy and making it nearly impossible to perform surgery, and cutting the branches seemed to be painful, so at some point, Grandma Jovel took him home. It was a little difficult to get him to Foxfield when they moved, but they managed to do it.

•Religious Nevin? In my Horror AU? It’s more likely than you’d think.

•Nevin was homeschooled up until middle or high school, to get better control of his powers before going into public spaces with a lot of emotions. Instead of having moved to Foxfield in 2017, another possibility is that he moved there after the incident and just wasn’t in public school until 2017. While that would clear up Drew’s half of the plot a little, I think Nevin’s experiences in previous schools are an integral part of his character, so keeping at least one year of that feels crucial.

•Nevin’s appearance: Hair is curly because trying to use a flat iron would probably be dangerous. His eyes are constantly cyan, but usually not glowing (too brightly). Wears a smart watch and a second ‘watch’ with a little keycard in it. He’ll sometimes put his hands in his pockets but he’s usually afraid of ripping his jacket.

•His vibes shall be weirdcore-y in the sense that some things are hyperrealisitc. Consider: making him much less defined (scribbly, lineless, etc.) at points, or adding some hyperrealistic pieces of stuff nearby (petals of a flower, etc.) into his hair or stuck on his clothes. [All to symbolize how much of him his environment makes up, and how little he can be sure of what's really his own feelings.]

•Nevin has a little pencil holder thing that attaches to his pointer finger so he can still write, he just has to be careful not to break the part that goes around his finger.

•The Jovel house is set up to make it as easy as possible to do everything while applying the least amount of force necessary. The front door has a card reader that reacts to Nevin’s watch. Voice-activated things are very handy, especially Siri or Alexa or whatever the Jovels have. The electricity bill is a bitch, but the constant repairs would have been worse. Anything that can’t be used electronically has some sort of contraption attached to it, mostly of Nevin’s own design.

•Nevin and Edward kinda mirror each other, having similar curses and backstories. But while Edward will slowly recover, I have absolutely no intention of letting Nevin do so.

•Dez [yeah i got nothing]

•Louis? [Comment from Echos: Puella Magi Madoka magic]

-

Aaand that's all in my doc. I don't think I'm forgetting anything? You can ask more questions but I probably won't answer until next month.

Concept art below (mostly for writing; it helps me remember what to describe, or get into the vibe)

[markicantwait]

Warning: malexmale, Mark and Jaemin are switch. Bad writing. Not really a fic or a plot, just some hard thoughts. Female reader. If you are a minor, please dont read. I'll probably delete this later.

Jaemin and Mark really didn't "came out" out of nowhere. They just happened to be friends who eventually became lovers, it wasn't a surprise for no one

It wasn't like they were hidden from someone, if they wanted to hold hands, they will, if they wanted to kiss, they will, if they wanted to fuck, well, they will

At some point you and Jaemin started to be closer, he was a nice person to hang on with, he was a good classmate and a club buddy. You can't say it wasn't a shock the first time you saw Jaemin sticking his tongue inside Mark's mouth, the memory burning in you brain for weeks until you all went out again, just to see Mark doing it this time

You tried to push the little crush you had on Jaemin, as far as you know he was "taken" and you could be a lot of things but never a home broker, but Jaemin was making you having a hard time

The sweet smiles, the flirty eyes, the touches, the voice color, everything was to much, you started to think, that maybe, just maybe, he has a crush on you as well

And then... it was Mark

You meet him because Jaemin introduce you to him one day you were complaining about a subject and for a miracle Mark was like an expert's in that topic. Eventually, you had a crush on him too

You are greedy and you aren't shy about it

"Didn't know you and Mark were a thing"

"Pardon?"

Jaemin was hard to read sometimes, now with his face down on a boring book, eyes not looking at you and pencil between his lips , it was harder

"You and Mark. The kiss. At the club. How long had you've been together?"

"I don't know, it happened in high school"

And you were just a semester from graduate college. Like what, then, five years? Almost six?

That was it, you really didn't ask more and Jaemin didn't tell you so much more, days goes by and then you have your weekly meeting with Mark for your tutoring session. Again, the same question, and like if a script was written, Mark gave you the same answer

"It happened in high school"

Finals were over so you were ready to take a break, that night Jaemin text you to have a party with him and Mark, the club was a little far from your place but Jaemin assured you you can sleep at his (and Mark) place if you need it

You accept, mostly because you really wanted to go party and because you trust both men to be drunk around them and sleep in the same place as them

The club was fine, the alcohol was fine, the music was fine and Jaemin and Mark were just as fine

Jaemin was not shy about his outfit, silver opened shirt, black leather pants, boots with a small hill. He looked like he was ready to go hunting

Mark, in another hand, looks so... boyish. Black slim jeans, black t shirt, sneakers, a jacket and some rings and necklaces. He looked like some hot dude

One thing take you to another and with no time your body was pressed between the two of them, Mark at your front and Jaemin at your back, hands all over your body, hot breathes mixed colognes, it was to much for your brain

You end up at the apartment, Jaemin's hands between you hair while he kissed you at the same time Mark was distracted with your neck and waist

"Fuck, you're so hot. I told you this was a good idea, right Jaemin?"

The couch wasn't big enough for the three of you to fit properly, Jaemin was laying in the floor with his head resting in a pillow so he can reach you pussy and lick you up, while your body was all in fours so you could take Mark's dick without choking in it

You can't see but you heard the way Jaemin was stroking his dick while eating you out, the sound of his moans sending delicious vibrations to your core making you moan with Mark's dick inside your mouth

That was how your night went, first Mark, then Jaemin, then them making out with your clit between their tongues and touching their each other's cocks, then their coks in your mouth at the same time. At some point, Mark was eating Jaemin from behind while watching him eating you out and play with your breast.

At the end, they cleaned you up, chance your clothes, and took you to a bed. You could feel Jaemin cuddle with you "you wanna be at her side or want me to be your little spoon?" He asked, moments later Mark was pressed by your side caressing your hair and the hand Jaemin has on your hip

"That was... intrested"

"You are down to, maeby, if you okay with that, doing it again, hun?" Jaemin asked you

You just nodded but Mark speak again "We need words, babe"

"Yeah"

[bonesandthebees]

haven't heard from me in a split second whoa :0

anygays i was going about my hyperfixation-brain filled day as one does when i thought of a question i wanted to ask you, seeing as recently you commented on how you missed your old stories

do you ever plan to revisit those universes? write in them again, or even just reveal something about them that we didn't know beforehand?

/genq /gencuri, not just because i'd kill for more clinic or world forgetting content lmaoooo

- 💫

heyyyyy I'm gonna ramble a bit about ideas here hope you don't mind

while I said I don't plan on fully rewriting any of my old stories like world forgetting, I'm definitely not opposed to writing more one shots in the universe. however, I'm trying to think of what in world forgetting's universe I'd be interested in writing. the only scene outside the main fic I ever really wanted to write was the crimeboys fight scene that led to tommy getting kidnapped by dream before the start of the fic, which I've already written and posted. I know people would probably want to see more from after the story ends but I really like leaving it up to reader's imaginations how things play out after the final chapter. I also don't feel like writing a proper prequel about how tommy joined the syndicate in the first place or anything. my interest primarily lies in the main storyline itself.

that really only leaves me with two options: rewriting chapters or filling in 'missing/deleted' scenes. I actually like the sound of both of those, although I don't know if I can think of any 'missing' scenes in the fic. like, there were definitely scenes I cut out, but the information conveyed in them either got brought up or changed later on making them non-canon to the story itself.

I do like the idea of rewriting an individual chapter. if I were to choose a chapter to rewrite I already know it would probably be ch 12. that was probably one of my favorite chapters in the entire story in terms of the plot events and how it's a huge turning point for tommy's mental state, but I definitely feel like I could've executed it better. maybe I'll do an experiment sometime and see if I can rewrite it. could be fun.

I also like the idea of possibly exploring a tiny bit of an au for WF (of my own au lol). I knew very early on I wanted most of the story to focus on tommy's strained relationships with sbi as he slowly regains his memories and their own shifting perspectives of the person they knew vs the person he is now, so it wouldn't have worked out to do it this way. but a part of me always wondered how things would've gone if wilbur hadn't removed tommy's lucid mask right after they kidnapped him from dream. what if they let him keep it on? what if sbi didn't find out he was their tommy right off the bat? how would that have changed the way tommy regained his memories? I feel like that could easily spin into something way bigger than I'd want to work on, but it's definitely an idea in the back of my head lol

anyway, tdlr; there's a few things I could do to write more in WF's universe and I might do that at some point, but no promise. as far as clinic goes, I feel like I've already said most of what I want to say with that world with all the side one shots I've already written for it.

[tomystars]

raysand/sandray theories + analysis

(because im insane)

This is a little post where I'll be focusing on what's to come for raysand mostly based on the trailer (original trailer too) and what we already know from the episodes that have aired already. I'll be using pictures so the text doesn't feel too eavy.

Also want to mention I didn't think about all of this myself, it's mostly a compilation of me and my friend throwing ideas and thoughts at one another and I decided to make a post on this now because me and her predicted something that happened on yesterdays episode...

Before I begin, considering it's based on our thoughts, ideas and what we know of the trailer (which is often edited in a way where sometimes certain dialogue doesn't end up being the same one we see on the episodes) please take everything with a grain of salt. If you want to share your opinions, feel free to do so my inbox is open!

Let's begin!

Although this is mostly a theories focused posted, I do want to first talk a little bit about how Ray & Sand's relationship is at the moment.

We all know things are going to escalate more but for now both Ray and Sand consider each other as friends. I've mentioned this in another post before (that has recently been deleted because it wasn't very well written) but one of Sand's best qualities and what makes him, in my eyes, the best character in this series, is that out of everyone else he's KIND.

First episode we have him meeting Ray for the first time and the only reason he got mean was because Ray was being an asshole first. Yet, after all of that, he still understood Ray was drunk and he gave him a ride to his own home, let him puke on his toilet, gave him a place to sleep on... All of this to a complete stranger by the way! You can't with certainty tell me everyone would do something like this. In return, Ray acted like an asshole once again which lead him to being kicked out of Sand's place (later on I'll talk about why I think Ray reacted that way), and eventually Ray did end up apologising which I think was something Sand didn't expect.

Another thing that made it more easy for Sand to forgive Ray was when Ray said "Thanks for saving my life." which was a very honest thing to say and Sand realised that, he kind of got a little bit of an insight of what Ray truly is like. I often see people commenting about Ray being dramatic by saying that when he was not. He meant what he said and frankly Sand DID save his life. Had Sand left him alone, Ray would've driven while drunk which could've very well ended in an accident.

Fast forward, Ray keeps seeking him out (another thing that will come into play later on), hires him to be his drinking buddy, convinces him to leave a girl Sand was trying to take home to drive to drive him instead, they have a talk, seem to be on the same page, hook up and everything is fine. For now.

This is the first fight they have in the trailer. I think, at this point, they have already started to hang out more and being more close together, so Sand is starting to expect more from Ray, specially the way Ray acts around him, always being flirty, always saying certain things ("I care about your feelings. That's why I'm here." previews are always a bit deceitful so maybe Ray isn't even saying this to him but we move), always going after him, always wanting Sand to spend time with him, but at the same time saying they can never be more than what they already are, which will most likely give Sand a lot of mixed feelings.

Just like we saw on yesterday's episode, Ray will most likely keep leaving Sand for Mew, which I don't really mind considering that Ray is a girls girl and he will always put his friends above himself, but at a certain point I get why Sand would get upset considering they are friends too and it's just very horrible being the one left behind specially when you keep get mixed messages from this guy you're starting to like. He'll probably realise there's something between Mew and Ray too.

In this fight scene, Ray is probably once again leaving Sand for Mew which is why Sand says "Focus on me for once will you?". In return Ray says this:

"What are we to each other?" is a very key sentence in their relationship. The way I see it Ray will too start questioning their relationship, thinking "What are we?" because they'll both be floating around each other but no one will ever say anything. I'll get a little bit more into Ray's personality later on but Ray might be just as confused as Sand, he probably never had a relationship quite like what they both have and it's scary. At the same time, he could also just be saying that to be mean (I'm not trying to paint him as a villain, I love him and this all ties in with what I'll be saying later about his personality."

The second fight scene we see in the trailer. I don't know if any of you remember but in the original trailer there's a scene where they're both in the car and Sand says "I don't want to be in anyone's choices." (there's also a scene where Ray gets arrested but we won't talk about that), which could mean Sand doesn't want to be a choice, someone in a "competition" with someone else, but the one Ray would want to be with no matter what.

This scene we're seeing is most likely the equivalent of that scene in the old trailer. I think at this time in their relationship Sand has already confessed that he wants more from Ray, that he doesn't want to keep being a "choice" and that he wants them to be in a relationship which leads to them having a fight, and eventually to Ray saying this.

Now, I can finally get into Ray's personality and the reason why he acts defensively in both of these scenes with Sand. Ray is scared. I do think Ray has a crush in Mew but I don't think it has ever been more than a crush, Ray just hasn't let it go because it's safe and easy. He likes Mew, Mew doesn't like him back and that's it, he doesn't have to worry about complicated feelings. But then Sand comes along and he is unbelievable KIND and he treats Ray like a normal person, he's honest, he doesn't push back and even apologise for being nosy about Ray's mother, he worries about him when he's drunk, he talks back and he's FUN to be around, he never wanted anything from Ray even after taking him home when he was drunk, he refused to accept money from them hooking up, he gave up one of his nights to sing at Yo's bar just so he could sing at Ray's party...

I mean, since episode 1 we've been getting a look into Ray's self worth. He thinks he's worthless and a burden, probably because he's an alcoholic, and I'm sorry to say but his friends don't really help him when it comes to that. He doesn't want to keep burdening his friends with this so he turns towards Sand, hires him as his drinking buddy, to just listen to music with, have fun and relax, he even says "I just don't want to be alone." and even later on Sand sayshe can be his friend without having to hire him he even says "If you're my friend, you have to look after me in every way." and Sand does just that!

Ray is confused and he probably has never had someone to be this way towards him in his life, someone that wants to help him (with his alcoholism as well I'm fairly sure), someone that cares this much about him, but most importantly, confused as to why he's feeling this way thinking "Don't I like Mew? Why do I feel this way towards Sand?", so of course he's scared about what he's feeling and he's scared of being vulnerable and ending up being hurt, so he pushes Sand away by being mean. It's all too much for him.

What's worse is that Sand has been the only one setting up rules like the not sleeping with each other more than once, saying he'd never date someone like Ray and other less significant situations but Ray always convinces him to break those same rules (wonder why that is...) which Sand is at fault too like, my guy you need to be confident and just say no. Sand most likely set those same rules precisely because of an old relationship that started this way and ended up horribly so he's trying to not commit that same mistake again. This time I think Sand will fight back instead of just letting go like his old relationship, probably because he can tell Ray feels the same way as him.

Then we have this scene, It's a bit ambiguous because it's impossible to know exactly in what part of the timeline of this relationship this fits in but I personally like to think it's after all the fights Ray finally takes some time to think and get his feelings in order and realise what exactly Sand means to him and this is the scene where Ray goes and finds Sand to apologise and I guess 'confess'. It also fits really well with the last scene I'll talk about which is the bathtub scene.

In this scene we can clearly see Ray breaking down crying in a bathtub while Mew is hugging him from behind (in the old trailer Mew had clothes on so this doesn't really make me think much). Personally, this is probably a scene where Ray feels horrible for hurting Sand and might also be the moment he realises how he truly feels for him which of course has him feeling like this. Gut wrenching heartbreak. My friend thinks it might be a time where Sand has decided to stop talking to him, refusing to see him which could also make everything worse.

To end all of this I think it's very important to note that by no means do I think either of them are in love already but no one can deny they're clearly attracted to each other and that they have a connection, but most importantly they ARE friends and they consider themselves as such no matter what, they would do a lot of things for each other, Ray even as far as defending Sand's band to Top (it's Top we're talking about whom he hates, but nevertheless) so that's something to keep in mind.

[like-rain-or-confetti]

I have to ask, why are you so deadset not to write for Twilight? I tried to see if you already gave an explanation, but I couldn't find anything. Especially when you have so many requests for it. Don't you like Twilight anymore? I have to say it's a little odd 😕🧐

Ooft that explanation is about 2-3 years back now.

I'll explain again from what I remember after 2-3 years. I should start by saying at just point I had been writing for twilight for about...6 years maybe?

I was slowing down and getting into a writers block and then drama happened.

Long story short the final nail in the coffin was being accused of being racist because I preferred the Romanian coven over the Egyptian coven and it made me sick to think people could going through my writing at the time and tearing it apart looking for any kind of evidence to prove it. So with the drama and all that I said "fuck this. I had a good run. See ya later. I'm not sticking around for this shit."

And it put me off of twilight completely. I stopped reading fanfic. I deleted all of my old WIPs for twilight and focused on me, my mental health -and Jonathan Crane and Edward Nygma but shhhh 🤫-

My experience with this blog back then is the more followers came more attention which led to more of the bullshit. As I have seen with all platforms. On tumblr, I saw other blogs being called out left right and centre for one thing or another. Some valid, some not valid, and now it was my turn... again...for something else because the other ones didn't stick. However, 3 years later and being in other fandoms, I realised something.

In the twilight random, I've been accused of being a body shamer, a manipulator because of my follower number, racist, pretty sure sexist a very long time ago, and the list goes on. All from the twilight fandom. No other fandom, and I've noticed those accusations stayed in the twilight fandom. And every single one made me wonder wtf was going on. And you'd think I'd forget these accusations. The people who point the fingers seem to forget. I don't forget. I remember the feelings of confusion and terror when I got accused for every single one. So i wasn't very pleased when the reason given for my 'racism' was an assumption that I preferred the Romanians over the egyptian coven was because of their races and it must be my deep rooted racism that makes me prefer one fucked shit over the other. Both covens did fucked shit. I just had more curiosity and interest of the Romanians over the Egyptians and that got twisted into what was then called my inherent racism. I'm a sucker for villains if we haven't noticed. 🤷‍♀️

Now, 2 or 3 years later, I'm not completely against twilight. I'm over the drama. However, it does make me want to stay in my own lane, really. I'm kinda done trying to be friends with everyone because I know not everyone is on here to be friendly. There are people on here who haven't said shit to me and don't like me because X,Y and Z. So now older I realise I came in with the wrong mindset. People come online for entertainment, and entertainment comes in all shapes and sizes and there's nothing more entertaining than coming after someone in the name morality. Of course someone is gonna jump on, see the writing and make assumptions.

Its why I made the rules in the pinned comment. I'm not gonna share my political views or anything like that and fiction stays fiction over here. I have no patience for the argument that my writing gives insight to my very soul anymore. In this blog, we're here to have a good time, let the imagination pop off and have a good giggle. That's all.

So twilight was the beginning and taught me a really hard lesson, probably a necessary one too. Some people are just here for a fight on the Internet. I'm not the first or the last to be accused but I'll say one thing. It's been nice not having to look over my shoulder on every post I made for the last 3 years incase someone assumes the worst.

Would I come back? I've honestly been considering it. As much as there was bad there was twice as much good. I got a lot of love and support. I've met wonderful people from that community and a bunch of them have stuck around and had my back. Something I can't begin to thank them for. I'm very grateful to them and have no regrets. I'm not thoroughly put off of twilight anymore and I'm pretty much done trying to be understanding and civil to people who don't have the same intention.

Btws the irony isn't lost on me that I've said I'm over it but put out this massive thing but I figured my stance is still the same and so since people have the guts to accuse me of fucked shit then I shouldn't have to be quiet on their account later on. :)