#i'll probably crosspost this to ao3 in a few days btw

[ferretwhomst]

Dogpile Prompt #5 - Drive

@housemdanniversary

385 words, Amber/House/Kutner, set at the end of s5. i've been meaning to write something with those three for awhile and this gave me an excuse lol. enjoy!

-

The drive to Mayfield is excruciating.

You try to keep your eyes on the road, but occasionally they flick over to Wilson, who's trying his hardest not to look terrified, and then out of the corner of your vision you can see them sitting in the backseat. Even when you clamp your eyes shut, you can feel their gaze searing holes in the back of your headrest.

“I hope you know,” Kutner drawls, “that this won't make things better.”

“Not for you, anyway,” Amber continues. “It’s possible you'll be a little more… tolerable to the people around you, to him,” and you know she's gesturing towards Wilson as she speaks, “but you'll still think of us. You'll still hurt.”

“You’ll never stop hurting.”

They almost sound smug. You want nothing more than to swivel around and give them a piece of your mind, but then Wilson will hear, and he'll start driving faster, and as much as you hate to admit it, you want to draw out this moment for as long as possible. You want to keep hearing them, keep seeing them, keep feeling Amber’s warm breath against your neck and catching the familiar scent of Kutner's soap as they whisper in your ears, condescend to you.

Detoxing is an agonizing process. As your body lashes out from withdrawal, and white hot pain tears through what's left of your thigh, so you retaliate against losing Amber and Kutner. It's gradual, but you’re observant, and you can feel the pain growing more vivid than their touch with every second.

Kutner strokes your hair and Amber squeezes your hand as their voices begin to grow faint.

“Shhh. It's okay. We'll be back,” comes Amber’s honeyed voice from above as you cry out. It hurts you just to keep your eyes open, but you’ll do it for them. 

Both of them are smiling at you almost apologetically, like you're a dog awaiting euthanasia. It's cruel. You don't want to be seen like this. But, then again, they aren't exactly real. It doesn't matter how they see you.

The feeling of their lips brushing against your forehead and cheek as they console you feels real, though. Some part of you wishes it was, wishes they could stay and hold you forever.

Maybe you just like them better this way.