#i'll have to go back to relisten to their stuff now i'm out of the masters project and have my FL brain on

[seventh-district]

again and again i find myself lamenting that audio roleplay isn't taken more seriously by some people. like yeah, they often have a romantic element, and by nature they usually directly involve/address the listener- and i totally get that those things aren't to everyone's taste. no art or entertainment is universally appealing, and that's okay! but.. it still makes me a lil sad that the "cringe" reputation of asmr/audio rp precedes it. there's a whole lot of talent and creativity being poured into these audios by so many people that i feel goes unrecognized and/or disrespected simply due to the medium that the stories are being told through.

[capn-twitchery]

oh my friend. i havent just 'heard' of AMS.... i ADORE the songs. The Donner Party album is my favourite, but i also enjoy many from The Year Without A Summer Really. i think the songs have a lot of potential for being FL-core. despite, yknow, 'american'

prophet this is us right now. thank u

i LOVE AMS SO MUCH they formed the backbone of the playlist for my silly furry horror masters project....they're so damn good. agh. donner party is also my favourite but i have a special fondness for their "jenny was a friend of mine" cover

IT'D BE GREAT FOR FL CONTENT...YOUR MIND👀👀 playlists are based on vibes not 1:1 lyrics anyway so it's Perfect (this also just gave the brainwave that cry of the banished horseman is Perfect for grace's playlist so thank you >:3c)

[davidmariottecomics]

It's Weird Being Between Two Jobs

Hi there and happy new year! 

Title kinda says it all in this week's blog, but the strangeness of this time in my life is really settling in. 

Just because of how things worked out with leaving IDW and starting the new job, I ended up with a little under a month of free time. And the first week and some change of that was the end of the year holiday season. But the past week has been me sort of watching from the outside as people started going back to work. I did finish up some additional new hire paperwork, but that took maybe an hour total and I'm still over a week from starting the new gig. It's an odd space to be in. I'm not working for anyone--I'm not getting a paycheck (and am currently sort of living this month off of my last IDW paycheck plus paid out time-off)--but I'm also not so far removed from a gig as to be strictly freelance. 

And to be totally honest, I don't know that I really like it. I am not great at having free time. I like the idea of free time. I like the idea of having time to write for myself or relax with my hobbies. But I am not great at the latter and the former betrays the fact that even with my free time, I'm often trying to switch into work mode. Heck, at the end of the day, my starting this blog and crossposting it as a newsletter/Tumblr/Patreon is all influenced by my not being good at not at least trying to be productive with my free time. 

If you're also someone who has been working from home and especially if you've been working from home freelance, I'm sure you know all the complications of the domestic and recreational life against your job and probably are familiar with how helpful routine and scheduling is with all that. Right now, I'm freeform. I don't want to just use my old habits--the advantage of time off is specifically that I can break a 9-5 M-F format--but I feel like I don't have enough time to start building new routines. So, it's been a challenging couple of weeks. I have not done nearly as much as I think I'd like to have at this point, but I also keep needing to remind myself that I have done a number of things that were on my to-do list and that it's okay to have time off for myself. 

As such, instead of a really specific blog on something of late, let me share a couple quick bits that've been on my mind. 

The Anti-EGOT I recently finished a big relisten of season 2 of Dungeons & Daddies and in the intro to the show of one episode, Anthony Burch introduced the idea of an Anti-EGOT. I think he retroactively changed it in a later episode, but the general idea was to be a writer in four of the least respected mediums and not win an award for any of it. I believe, in the initial mention, the idea was the four mediums of choice would be video games, comic books, podcasts, and pornography (with wrestling being retroactively either added or replacing one of these, but I don't think I'm much of one to write for wrestling). Honestly, that kinda sounds like a dream to me. As I was listening to this stuff in the run-up to the new year, there was a part of me thinking "is going for the Anti-EGOT my resolution"? And I ultimately decided, no. I don't think that's a good resolution, but it is sort of my stretch goal for the year. If I can write in all those fields, get paid for it, and not win any awards (or, y'know... do) in my lifetime, I'll be pretty stoked. 

What my actual goal for the year would be is I want to try to release 6 comics. Different lengths and varieties. I'm not currently anticipating having that be like a single mini-series or whatever, but I want to try to do more in comics with what I am producing. And if I can maybe branch out into one of those other areas this year, even if it doesn't have a release for another year or more, I'd be cool with that too. 

Steamboat Willie Last year, you may've read my four part explainer about copyright! One thing that is repeatedly touched on there is the public domain and what all that means. Obviously, this year, Steamboat Willie and two other Mickey Mouse shorts entered the public domain. And it's been really interesting to watch that play out a little. It seemed like--and I know it's only been a week--most everyone got it out of their systems within the first 2-3 days of the year. A lot of that probably goes to Steamboat Willie and those early shorts not actually being all that interesting (fun, but very story-light). A lot of it goes to so much of what people would want to do with "Steamboat Willie" is either already legal because it falls under parody, is not actually meant to be sellable in any way, or was knocked out in a day. A lot of it too probably goes to how unclear what counts as public domain remains. For a character like Mickey, people have been pointing out are you using elements that were added after 1928 or treading on issues of trademark that are not copyright and are not as available. I am very curious to watch how this continues to play out this year (if it does), how things develop next year, and in the next couple of years, watch how things fall in preparation for about a decade from now when more of the early Disney catalog will be public domain (including Snow White) and other major companies start having some of their big hits become PD (like, say, Superman). 

I'm also kinda bummed to have not seen any immediate announcements/releases of new comic versions of Lady Chatterly's Lover like there were of The Great Gatsby or anything. That's the other really interesting/wild thing about this year--to me, it seems like the majority of the fuss was around the Mouse and the things that've remained popular in part due to the mouse, Peter Pan and Tigger. I have not seen nearly enough talk about One Million Cats or any of the film or music. 

Post-Twitter

The other day, Diana Sousa was asking on Bluesky (and Twitter, I guess), if Twitter is still the major non-convention way that comics editors discover new talent. And I responded as someone who is NO LONGER ON TWITTER but who is still needing to have discoverability of comics artists. I said, part of it is I am on other socials. I see new folks on Bluesky or Instagram or whatever. I also keep an eye on various databases--you don't have to be on Twitter to have access to #VisibleWomen or the Cartoonist Cooperative database or Cartoonists of Color or the Queer Cartoonist Database or the Disabled Cartoonist Database or any of these many sorts of resources. Something I didn't mention there, but will mention here is when you've got a company email address, you've often got agents of various sorts emailing you about talent, internal talent databases and/or recruiter-type folks, sharing info with other editors (and, y'know, I've in the past shared talent who I didn't have a gig for with editor friends at other companies because I thought they'd be a good fit). 

As I've mentioned before, the lack of access to talent was why I did wait so long to delete my Twitter (and also wanting to make sure I had ways of keeping up with world events and following non-comics people). But, genuinely, I am not stressing over continuing to find new people now that I've been without it for a little bit and know I've got a system.  Check Yourself for Midjourney Training Hey, speaking of my explainer on copyright and the lengths of time therein I talk about how "AI" is a tool of theft and companies trying to avoid paying artists for the use of their copyrighted works, the lawsuit against Midjourney's resulted in a list of names of "artists" they've scraped. Now, I only put "artists" in quotes because the list was made by incompetent tech bros and/or their clueless lawyers, and so there are a number of writers listed who do not particularly do art but where you can extrapolate that the artists they work with were scraped as well as companies, systems, game platforms, etc. While I understand that of course lawsuits are expensive, I do know a number of artists have been reaching out to the lawfirm of the existing suit and seeking to join the case as plaintiffs. If you're a visual artist, probably worth the time to double-check and, if you can, do something about it. 

Okay, I think that's it for this week! See ya next time! 

What I enjoyed this week: Dungeons & Daddies (Podcast), Reverse 1999 (Video Game), Nancy (Comic), Yu-Gi-Oh: Duel Links (Video Game), Baldur's Gate III (Video Game), Blank Check (Podcast), Spy x Family (Manga), How to Read Nancy (Book), Hitman 2 (Video Game), Pokemon Conceirge (Cartoon), Ted Lasso (TV show, finally started season 3), Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves (Movie--can you tell I'm in a D&D mood?), The Floor (TV show), my new discord (friends can ask for access!), sending out some feeler emails for new projects and getting to do at least a little bit of writing for myself.  

New Releases this week (1/3/2024): Sonic the Hedgehog #68 (Editor)

Announcements: The Cartoonist Cooperative is still doing E-Sim cards for Gaza and at least 500 people have shown their proof of donation. You can donate a digital sim card so that residents can get access to the internet and have more functional phones and, in exchange, get some comics or a drawing or whatever else is available from the many participating artists. 

You can also give more directly. Things are obviously still very bad in Gaza as we've hit 3 full months of them being under siege. Over 20,000 Palestinians have been killed, including plenty of women and children. Israel has killed more journalists than any single conflict in my lifetime. They are attacking not just Gaza and the West Bank, but other neighboring countries. I hope the Internatioal Court of Justice can help bring this to an end, but in the meantime, the US has significant influence over the situation (between internatioal political power and the weapons and money we're sending as both a nation and that are being sent my many corporations in the US). You can call or fax or email or show up at the offices of your representatives to demand a ceasefire or to protest their inaction so far or to throw eggs at the president for participating in and encouraging a genocide. You should keep aware of actions, demonstrations, protests, and celebrations in your community too. Given the nature of the things, they often come together fairly quickly, so do exercise your due diligence. Also, of course, being informed and just giving your time to Palestinian journalists and writers is incredibly valuable. I don't tend to be a big TikTok fan, but it has proven to be one of the most reliable resources for firsthand accounts of what's happening on the ground. 

Meanwhile, Becca's got their first show of the year next weekend, 1/13 at Alesmith for a mini-con with BizBaz! Come pick up some new for 2024 stuff! Also, they've still got a little room in their schedule for this year, so get them for your comic project before it's too late! 

Finally, calling out my Patreon again as well as my webstore (final stock on basically everything there except Jimmy Squarefoot), my Kofi, and my eBay account as I am between paychecks for a while and those are other ways you can support me! 

Pic of the Week: We went to one of our favorite local restaurants, Rakitori in Hillcrest. They had a spicy cheesy tonkatsu ramen and I'm not a food picture guy usually, but I did quite like this photo and I'm actually very fortunate we ate there at the tail end of 2023, otherwise I'd have already eaten the best meal of 2024. 

[iantimony]

oopsie, two missed tuesdays!

and i almost missed this one too!!!! i was moving apartments. ough. this is a random mishmash of everything i remember of the past .. three ?? ??? weeks.

listening: finished s1 of the silt verses! faulkner is my poor little meow meow etc. i am rotating it in my brain. will have more thoughts next week probably.

some fugazi because they were referenced in a mina le video on merch and i was intrigued. they're good!

fugazi waiting room

brat charli xcx on recommendation of beloved mutual png jpeg. i liked it, i don't normally go for her style but there's some good earworms in here. really good gym album. not sure which specific song to drop here because it was a Full Album experience imo.

in terms of relistening/older stuff, the dear hunter antimai, more franz ferdinand. finally listened to sound & fury by sturgill simpson all the way through, it's really good. boyf also got me to listen to die antwoord and ohhh i do like this. a lot.

i fink u freeky (die antwoord)

also more bionicle playlist. it's just a dose of early 00's-10's music delivered via iv directly into my bloodstream. sorry.

reading: this was from a few weeks ago actually but i forgot about it. we stopped over in pittsburgh for a night and briefly entertained the idea of going to a museum or something road-trip style and found this museum review. surprisingly she is not a lesbian.

and then related to the watching, wikipedia pages for victor ninov and darleane c hoffman!

watching: mina le: the merch industry has gone too far, WAGs, blokecore, and the “feminization” of sports

swell entertainment: the marketability of celebrity eras, how to destroy your audience's trust

started dangelo wallace's ozempic video. the fatphobia had me tapping out pretty quick tho. also watched about half of joy achill's "the george r r martin problem" about asoiaf stuff, gonna finish it tomorrow i think

watched "the man who tried to fake an element" with the boyf, really fascinating, i knew a little bit of it from one of my undergrad classes but this was a really good deep dive.

also watched two episodes of space dandy with the boyf. so much to unpack there.

playing: more dnd but otherwise fallow. made a little dungeon crawl type thing so that's pretty straightforward.

making: coasters mostly right now! the main ones are a Surprise so i will not be posting them yet. instead look at my worm

i've also started knitting a magic the gathering card sleeve as a semi-gag gift for a friend. it's really really stupid i love it so much. it is just ten rows of a rectangle in stockinette right now but i'm going to mock up a little texture work to get the swamp land symbol in the back.

eating: did a lot of takeout right after moving because, Yeah, but i finally started settling back in to home cooked meals. made my favorite orzo salad for a temple potluck, an ungodly amount of gyudon, and a garlic butter shrimp pasta thing.

misc: my new apartment is good!! the insulation isn't great, i know i'll have to shrinkwrap some windows this winter for Sure, but overall i'm settling in. i have a lot of organization and purging to do, especially of my House Clothes, craft supplies, and makeup/beauty shit, and i need to get one or two pieces of furniture still (like a couch......i have a funny little bachelor chair in front of the couch right now which is very funny). i got myself some fun plants from the farmers market as a housewarming gift to myself. i am finally the owner of a monstera, yippee, she Really needs a repot though. i also got a hoya lisa because i liked the name and it was cute and cat friendly and i got a vaguely labia-adjacent succulent. i have so many little household Needs and Tasks (mat for in front of the sink! blackout curtains because i have to sleep with an eye mask right now because the blinds dont do shit! etc!) and also every grocery bill i do is like $100 because of getting kitchen essentials that will not run out any time soon but that i do need (white vinegar. aluminum foil. flour.) so everything is so expensive. this is a big wall of text. at least the spare mattress is out of my weird haunted hallway now <3 i'm very excited to start hanging up my art.

[acaplaya-musings]

Voiceplay-adjacent Visuals - God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen

So here's the thing: I'm not religious whatsoever, and usually I'm neutral at best when it comes to "traditional"/religious Christmas songs. Like on the odd occasion I might hear a decent performance of one, like O Holy Night or Silent Night for example, and I'll be like "yeah alright", but I don't usually go search them up to relisten to them, y'know?

But then, on the 4th of December, 2021, Geoff released his cover of God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen, and MY. GOODNESS. Undeniably one of the most epic Christmas carol performances I've ever heard (besides most versions of Carol Of The Bells of course).

So anyway, there's probably a lot more to say on the musical arrangement than the video, but I didn't wanna skip over this one entirely, and tbh this is one of my favourite videos for examples of Geoff's self-conducting motions and hand gestures, so I really wanna talk about some of that, and show off some of the cool lighting stuff as well! (Credit to Eli for lighting design!)

So anyway, let's get into this!

This video was filmed at PattyCake Studios, though presumably using a set/backdrop that doesn't get used a lot otherwise, because I don't recognise it from anything else! (EDIT: according to the amazingly-knowledgeable and very helpful Jules-has-notes, "the backdrop was one of the standing sets at the old PattyCake studio...VP used it in their video for "You're My Best Friend" with Deejay, but the set dressing and lighting were pretty different.")

Double credit to Eli for the lighting design, because look how cool this looks already, with the variety of colours that we're getting from lighting in the background! Whiteish-purple, green, blue, orange, and purple-pink! And I love how there's enough in the background to make it interesting and to "fill out the space" without drawing your attention away entirely!

Lights up!

I don't know exactly what that shirt thing is per se, but man it looks so cool

This video has at least a couple moments of the "Geoff Clones" noticeably mirroring each other in their motions, like in Shenandoah and Unshaken, but there are also quite a few moments (like before this, in the "slow build-up section" in fact) where different Geoffs are doing different motions to indicate which of them are singing which vocal parts (e.g. higher stuff vs lower stuff)

"Now to the lord sing praises..."

Very quick lighting/colour change on the curtains!

"Holy tide of Christmas, all others doth deface!"

Lighting/colour change on the curtains again! A warmer orange now!

(Also again notice how the clones on the left and right ends are doing the same thing, but the clone second from the left is doing something different!)

"Woah, tidings of comfort and joy"

(I love the cheeky little side-eye he does here, it's kinda cute <3)

Another quick lighting change!

I love the way Geoff so often includes moments of "Lead Geoff" and The Clones looking at each other - it's such a simple thing to include, but it's also such an easy thing to not bother doing or not even consider doing. But these little moments definitely add a little something-something(tm) to the videos 💜👌

"Cooommmforrrt aaand joyyyyy"

Up, right, down, up. What is this, the Konami Code for subharmonics/bass notes? 😝

"JOYYYYYY!"

And back to darkness for the end!

I probably could have included even more moments to talk about but tbh screenshots don't always do it justice, and I can't be bothered figuring out how to make gifs. But I hope this gave you some amusement anyway, and I promise you the next post is absolutely gonna be a fun one! Until next time!

[thenobleprincex]

i feel very normal about them 🥹🤍✨

Personl reflection/rambling thoughts incoming, hence the break:

Honestly, watching this show close is hitting me so hard and making me feel so much. I am hoping and praying that this cast will do a (brief) run in London just so I can at least have the chance to watch them, even though I know it won't actually happen and I am just deluding myself but... Am I asking for too much??

And like, to be totally honest, though I've been somewhat following along the Merrily train since maybe the beginning of the year (and this was very much because I noticed that Jonathan and Daniel were in it together and looked very cute with each other and I enjoyed both of them seperately, so that made me curious about the show), I only actually jumped on board very recently. And god, I was hooked. And to see it come to a close already is honestly a bit heartbreaking?

These past few months, since Fall last year, have honestly been surprisingly hard for me. I've been feeling a lot and being Very emotional (very angry, very sad, very very lost, and very very lonely), and thinking and reflecting seems to be leading nowhere and I just feel like I'm trapped with all these intense emotions that just don't go away. It's so hard.

And simultaneously, and mostly by coincidence, these have also been months where I'm returning to loads of past loves of mine. Like, I started listening to the Witch Please podcast (which is brilliant) about a year ago and that made me go and relisten to half of the Harry Potter books (which I haven't read since my early early teens since I'm not a big re-reader). Then in November it was Doctor Who's 60th and that was so amazing and exciting and got me totally hooked back on Doctor Who (which feels a bit full circle for me, because the first time I watched the show it was right after the 50th and that was a very exciting time, but I've always been awful at following along with stuff as it came out, so season 14 was the first time I actually fully did it and it was GREAT). It also made me start crushing very very hard on David Tennant (and Georgia haha) which makes me feel fourteen again in the best way (truly, I'm so not mad about it. Do I wish it was less intense? Yeah, absolutely. But other than that, it's fine lol).

And now I'm getting back into musicals?? Like, it just feels like I'm reliving all my teen loves and I truly don't know what to make of that (if anything? hahaha).

I did not grow up with musicals, you know? Like, I've always loved the concept, but there is not much of a musical scene over here. There was no Disney channel and their teen musical shows. The closest I had were musical animes (god, the obsession I had with Mermaid Melody!!) and seasons 7 and 8 of Morangos com Açúcar (which were coming out when I was young, and I watched it RELIGIOUSLY). But I did love the concept, so much so that when I first started watching 🏴‍☠️ shows, Glee was one of the first I watched. And then 2016 and Hamilton happened and I was so HOOKED to that show. Like, I was totally one of those Hamilton Girlies, no questions. I was obsessed with it. And I was studying music at the time and seriously considering pursuing music in university (I had such an appreciation for Alex Lacamoire in particular, I loved that guy). That ended up not happening and eventually my hyperfixation moved on to other things (*coughs* my football girlie era lol), but I did listen to some other shows at the time and met two of the loves of my life: Waitress (which I am slightly hopeful I may one day see?) and Anastasia (which I doubt I'll get to see...). I remember watching Christy's Instagram lives and loving her so much (she had such a lovely energy). And I loved that production so much too (and it remains one of my biggest regrets Ever that I did not go and see the Spanish production in Madrid). That was the only show I've actually followed along as it closed and it was so intense, and it's been years, but now I'm just sort of reliving that with Merrily.

Like, those people seem to be having the absolute best time backstage. It makes me wanna be a part of that so bad. I've watched their insta takeovers wayy too many times because it really does make me so giddy and happy. I've legitimately started looking for, like, volunteer or amateur theatre groups where I live where I could maybe fill some sort of backstage position because theatre seems like so much fun!!! but there is nothing and since being on stage is literally one of my biggest nightmares, I just have to live with it all by myself instead.

And it's fine. It's fine. Merrily will close on Sunday and I'll be on my phone all day and I'll be very sad and then I'll move on to something else I guess. Living with the fact that I'll never get to see these three perform together live does hurt though. I'm just kinda tired of yearning and wanting things and people so much and just never having any resolution to that, ya know?

Okay, I don't really have anything else in me right now. Just.. If you read this, and if you somehow relate or feel in any way called to reach out, please feel free. I'd appreciate it. Not to be every fangirl stereotype ever, but I actually don't have many friend (irl or otherwise) and I have a very hard time making them, but if you're in your early/mid-twenties and would like to talk, I'd be very happy to do that

For the time being, I'll cross my fingers and keep on dreaming/deluding myself that my Lindsay/Dan/Jonathan MWRA dreams will come true at some point in the near future haha. Wishing them all the luck and joy for these final performances <3

[faradaykay]

HELLO i was tagged by rumi my friend rumi @ultimaid AND trix my friend trix @gh0str3c0rd3r for ten songs i have been listening to recently! (ok but just in advance you can't make fun of me for my lame ass music OKAY peace and love on planet earth)

SO IF YOU REMEMBER POPPY (she got really popular for her really strange youtube videos a very long time ago) she is actually one of my FAVORITE music artists EVER and this is her newest song!!! her music style is really unique and cool KINDA weirdly halfway between pop and metal IT'S SO COOL i'll actually PROBABLY bring her up again on this post tbh but!!!! YEAH LISTEN TO CHURCH OUTFIT and her new song that's coming out next week!!

so i've actually really really loved prince since middle school and i've been relistening to a lot of the songs i liked back then lately and this has to be ONE OF MY FAVORITES... it's not a very popular one but the lyrics FUCK SEVERELY imo, i'm a huge fan of "if i was your one and only friend, would you run to me if somebody hurt you, even if that somebody was me?"

this song is like. it may be my actual favorite piece of sapphic music EVER i love the lyrics, i love the vibes, it fits sosososo many ships and i literally listen to it SOOOO much, ask me what songs i've been listening to at any given time and this will be ON THE LIST

ALSO ONE OF MY FAVORITE SAPPHIC SONGS EVER AND WITH SUMMER COMING UP I HAVE HAD IT ON REPEAT!!!! perfect for summer, perfect for lesbians, perfect for me, a lesbian who has been calling it "hot girl summer" for weeks now (even tho it's april)

ANOTHER POPPY SONG okay so i LOVE her whole am i a girl? album SO MUCH but this is my favorite song off of it and one of the ones i listen to on repeat the most SO I TOTALLY RECOMMEND bc the lyrics and style are just SO COOL but also go listen to the whole album and i will love you forever

i honestly just listened to this recently bc i randomly remembered the nostalgia so i wouldn't necesssarily Recommend It if it doesn't give you fond memories of being in fifth grade like it does to me BUT to this day it's just super cute and super mecore

TO MAKE A VERY LONG ERA OF MY LIFE SHORT basically i had this like. CRAZY michael jackson hyperfixation in middle school. and i have obviously grown out of it BUT this is still one of my favorite songs ever and is still one i listen to all the time. the lyrics are simple but they scratch an itch in my brain and it's really beautiful. I WILL ACTUALLY also put the youtube link for this one bc the version on the michael album was released posthumously and i really think the overproduction takes away from what makes the song so beautiful. SO I RECOMMEND THE ORIGINAL INSTEAD (i love you sven nelson channel with all the rare demos and original versions of michael's stuff)

OK SORRY FOR PUTTING POPPY AGAIN BUT I COULDN'T NOT PUT THIS ONE even tho it's her most mainstream song it's also by far my most looped one bc IT'S JUST SO FUN and upbeat and nice to listen to, it was my top song in 2022 and i still loop it all the time!!! definitely give it a listen (BUT ALSO CHECK OUT THE REST OF THE ALBUM BC YOU HAVE PROBABLY HEARD THIS ONE BEFORE BUT REALLY THE REST OF THE ALBUM IS SO GOOD AND A LOT OF THE OTHER SONGS ARE A LOT MORE UNIQUE STYLISTICALLY AND LYRICALLY)

I'M SORRY FOR INCLUDING GLEE I'M SORRY I SWEAR IT'S JUST THE ONE bc this is like. my favorite glee song EVER. brittana literally made me who i am today when i was a confused queer middle schooler who wasn't allowed to have access to most queer media SO THIS SONG IS VERY SPECIAL TO ME OKAY and listening to it on repeat for hours is an ultimate therapeutic experience so i've highkey been doing it nonstop recently

janet jackson is so cool i'd actually marry her. anyways i have had this song on loop and have listened to it at least 50 times in the last week.... IT FUCKS SO SEVERELY songs i could sing sosososo loud word for word

I AM BLANKING ON WHO I COULD TAG BC THIS ALREADY WENT AROUND MY MUTUAL CIRCLES but if you want to do it then YOU SHOULD thumbs up

[numetaljackdog]

what i'm listening to 1/5/2023 (song notes under cut)

spot. link//yt link

Laura Les - Haunted: haunted. by laura les.

Radiohead - Packt Like Sardines In a Crushd Tin Box: i literally could have just put all of amnesiac in here but that would exceed the number of tracks i allow myself to put in any given WILT. just know that this is one of my new favorite songs of all time and i've been listening to the album on repeat for about a month

The Cure - Charlotte Sometimes: when i found out that the cure had a song with my name in it, i knew i had to listen to it forever and ever regardless of how good it was. thankfully, it is actually a pretty damn good song. i've been wanting to get my hands on the book it's based upon as well, but that's still a work in progress.

Fontaines D.C. - Skinty Fia: this is the other album i've been listening to nonstop for the past month. as i mentioned in the last WILT, i didn't love this record when it came out, but upon a relisten i've been obsessed with it. this is also where the theme of this month becomes glaringly obvious - it's been a lottt of post-punk for me recently. just the winter mood i guess

Nirvana - Marigold: really great b-side from dave. i'm not as familiar with the in utero era in general but i feel like this song is indicative that dave was always going to break off and do his own thing, even if things had gone better than they did. sort of comforting to think about, i think

Wham! - Last Christmas: i listened to A Lot of christmas music throughout december, for various reasons and occasions. this song, though, is special. even though christmas is right in the title, it feels like such a real song. the holiday is almost incidental in what it actually is trying to be about. for these reasons, i have decided that i genuinely like this song as an any-time-of-the-year listen

Fontaines D.C. - In ár gCroíthe go deo: SUCH a good opening track... i also just love that they start the album off with some irish language lyrics. it lets you know right away that the record is going full dive into its subject matter. plus, as some of you know, i've been learning irish for a couple of years now, so it's cool for me to get some further experience by listening to music in the language. god i could talk about this album forever. i sure hope i'll get another chance to do that later on

Deftones - My Own Summer (Shove It): obligatory nu metal song. i've been watching the music video for this one a lot, it's a good video. in general, i've been getting into deftones a lot more recently than i had been for a long time. i'm also putting a live cover that linkin park did, which is a good cover but i think it's funny (in an odd way) that they don't do the "shove it, shove it, shove it" parts. like i guess they were trying to get the crowd to do that, but i feel like mike could have shouted it a couple of times to demonstrate what they were meant to be doing. idk lmao

Pink Floyd - Welcome to the Machine: i've been listening to a lot of pink floyd as well, especially since i've been going through the top albums list on rateyourmusic. there's a ton of great stuff, i really like the band, but this song is one of my favorites. as demonstrated by my "synthetic solution" tag, i really like allegories that involve machines and stuff like that, so this fits right with me

Kurt Cobain - Burn The Rain: weird little demo. i haven't listened to much of the montage of heck recordings but it's always interesting to hear kurt so unfiltered. the dialogue at the end of this one is curious too; he sounds so... unguarded. i am normal about these things

Radiohead - Knives Out: men will see a mouse and be like is anyone else gonna eat this and not wait for an answer

Fontaines D.C. - Nabokov: oh good, my other chance to gush about this record! this is a great closer on top of everything else... plus it's one last chance for the harmonies and backing vocals to really shine. seriously, if you're into post-punk or alternative stuff at all, give this album a shot, it is golden stuff

Bauhaus - A God in an Alcove: yet more post-punk! i've been enjoying this album a lot too. something about this song in particular just feels so unnerving, like trying to squeeze through a space that you aren't certain you can fit through. maybe that's just the junji ito i've been reading this month too

Tems - Higher: i'm all in on the tems train. she's such a great performer, and the live version on the youtube playlist is definitely worth checking out. this is a great ep, very soulful, and although my favorite track might actually be ice t, higher is definitely the one that rolls around in my head most frequently. honestly just listen to the whole thing. i'm not even usually a big r&b fan and i'm rocking with it big time

Radiohead - Life In a Glasshouse: one last spot for amnesiac. it feels only fair, after skinty fia got three spots too. speaking of great album closers, this is another. i lovelovelove the inclusion of jazz influence into. well, into most things, but especially when radiohead does it. the chorus almost feels brutal, in a way, like being still in a room but with every single muscle tensed

Radiohead - Reckoner: does this count as cheating? this feels like cheating somehow. well anyway, in rainbows is also a really good record, and this song felt incredibly familiar somehow. i can't think of any context in which i would have possibly heard this song before, as it hasn't been my impression that this was like some big hit for them or anything. in any case, that feeling makes me want to keep coming back to it again and again

Looking Glass - Brandy (You're a Fine Girl): here's a little change of pace from all the alternative. looking glass were one of those unremarkable bar band one-hit wonders who wrote a really good pop song and then immediately slipped through the cracks of history. i listened to this album and found it mostly unremarkable, though i did also enjoy the song "from stanton station." not much else to say, it's just a pretty damn good pop song

R.E.M. - It's The End Of The World As We Know It: i don't need to explain this song, i imagine you all know it. however. next time you listen to it, pay attention to the backing vocals on the chorus. that's what's been keeping the song on loop for me. there's a unique catharsis to the repetition of "it's time i had some time alone"

Pizza Kids - We Like Pizza: thanks kiwi

as a side note, the full version of this song is almost funnier during the second half because it literally sounds like it's being arranged and mixed in real time by someone who has no idea what they're doing or how much longer the song is going to keep going

[thefearandnow]

Happy New Year! 🥂

I've had this post saved for a while because since coming back to tumblr I've found it to be a really great space for setting myself accountable creatively. I've had a lot of ideas for goals I want to set for myself in 2023 so I'm gonna pin this post and keep coming back to it with progress/check ins. I'm also gonna queue this post for every month so I don't forget to revisit my list. Some stuff has to do with creating and some stuff are just personal things ✨

💀🎙 Write and produce monthly episodes of The Fear and Now

For my graduate degree I produced an analysis podcast about horror in fiction podcasts and part of changing my tumblr to The Fear and Now was partially to motivate me to make new episodes for the first time in more than 2 years. I'm basically going to reboot it entirely because I've become a much different producer since I started it but I'm excited to start working on it again. First step will be to relisten to the old episodes which is honestly what I'm most avoiding but I'm excited to do more analytical writing, research and use my improved editing skills to give it a facelift.

0/12

🎧 Write and post at least 25 Audio Drama Sunday posts

I've really been enjoying using tumblr as a way to recap my listening and get through my backlog of podcasts I want to listen to. On top of that it's been a great way to find new podcasts and support creators so I'm hoping to stay on a semi-weekly schedule but I'm also trying to set the expectation a little low 😅

1/25

🦉🌶 Finish writing the fiction podcast I started (8 episodes)

In 2022 I started writing my first ever fiction podcast, something I'd been wanting to do for years. It's been on hiatus for a few months but I want to come back around to it and at least get all the episodes in rough draft from.

2/8

✏️ Try NaNoWriMo for the first time

I discovered National Novel Writing Month (through a discord I'm a part of) this year and was a little too late to the party to try it myself but I'm really drawn to the idea of trying it November 2023. Of course, I think I'm gonna need to practice a lot to get myself prepared so I'm going to start setting daily word count goals every month.

Jan: 500 words | 75%

Feb: 500 words

📖 Read at least one novel a month

In 2022 some friends started a book club and it's really helped me get back into the habit of having structured reading time. Looking forward to reading more and keeping track of the new books I'll read in the new year!

1/12

💻 Give more feedback to writers/creators on tumblr

I've started following a few different writers on tumblr whose short stories I really enjoy and I want to get more into the habit of reaching out and telling them what I love about their work. It's one of those things that I've only recently spent much time thinking about but I think often I'm a passive enjoyer of content and want to actively be more involved as an audience member in 2023.

🎶 Self publish a mixtape of instrumentals

In 2022 I got into a routine of posting quick little sample-based sketches and beats. In the new year I want to take the best of those sketches and make them into a proper mixtape/EP that I'll publish via Bandcamp. I'm not really sure how to track the progress on something like this but I know I just want to have what I consider a finished project by this time next year.

✏️ Try NaNoWriMo for the first time.

I discovered National Novel Writing Month (through a discord I'm a part of) this year and was a little too late to the party to try it myself but I'm really drawn to the idea of trying it November 2023. Of course, I think I'm gonna need to practice a lot to get myself prepared so I'm going to start setting daily word count goals every month.

Jan: 500 words

✨ Explore my hair/gender expression

This one is literally impossible to quantify but it's something I want to reflect on and be more actively engaged with this year. So much of my life I feel like I've tried to ignore thinking about and exploring my own style and gender and its only recently that I've felt some regret about it. I want to buy new clothes and try new hairstyles and feel more comfortable in my own skin and I think I've found that for me I need to write it somewhere if I actually want to do the damn thing 😅 so this is me doing that lol

[notebookmusical]

Hi Cossette! Happy (belated) Pride Month and I hope you're having a wonderful first half of 2024 💖 This year has been keeping me busy (it was nevertheless eventful in a good way), hence the belated message following up from January.

I feel you! I also need to comb through my favourite albums & books to think about how I'd pair books / albums. After relistening & checking out different music releases I would go with the following:

The Night Circus by Erin Morgenstern: Bewitched by Laufey - this album dazzles just like the magic in the book 🤩 The tracks from Bewitch also radiate this vintage quality that I personally associate with the book's setting!

The Priory of the Orange Tree by Samantha Shannon: If I Can't Have Love, I Want Power by Halsey! Just like the book, Halsey's 4th studio album has this expansive quality that features empowering female narratives.

Circe by Madeline Miller: The Loneliest Time by Carly Rae Jepsen & Where the Butterflies Go in the Rain by Raveena. Recurring theme from the book is about loss/grief and self-discovery/healing - something that both music albums also explore!

Sofi and the Bone Song by Adrienne Tooley: OUT OF THE BLUE by Brynn Cartelli & In The End It Always Does by The Japanese House - Brynn's debut album has this wintry feel to me that reminds me of the book's setting. Sofi's character arc is very much "returning to her muse" which is reminiscent of Amber when she was working on her sophomore album!

Heartstopper comic series: a mix of You Signed Up For This by Maisie Peters, Quarter-Life Crisis by Baby Queen, and Sour by Olivia Rodrigo!

Ahh this is a totally valid take regarding fantasy books! I can imagine that listening to someone narrating fantasy books being a more immersive experience. While I prefer reading in silence with a hardcopy I also feel that I sometimes need more time to process fancier writing style - though usually the effort will pay off later on!

P.S. Ahh thank you so much! I really enjoy finding parallels between different media - the realisation that many themes explored in my favourite pieces of media are universal & a shared experience 💖

jennifer!! hi friend! i hope you're well 🤍 happy belated pride month, happy june! i'm glad the first half of the year kept you busy in a good way! what were some highlights? you had your eras show already, right? i think you said you were going to london but i can't remember if it was the june dates or august!! how was it! how was it? 🤍

i am very :/// to say that i have not read a whole lot this year! i finally read lessons in chemistry and that was a new favorite, and finally read s. which i've been putting off for ages, but aside from that i feel like all i've been doing is audiobooking classics (my local library got hacked and took everything offline and somehow i got locked out of libby for like a month so the only audiobooks i could listen to were classics 💔). i'm currently making my way through the hunchback of the notre dame though! i'm hoping to finish that one soon!!

have you been reading anything good lately? i definitely want to get back into reading more soon! i've been very busy (and dealing with some stuff) and i feel like i haven't read a fantasy in a hot minute so i'll take any recs if you have them! i have technically been "annotating the starless sea" for ... over a year now (i stopped at page like, seven and never got back to it — which is a trend i think with some of my "annotation projects" for books i love, i get too overwhelmed and never finish it) but i do want to go back to it soon... maybe that's my "homework" for the rest of the year — to finish the annotation projects i've started (gatsby, normal people, the starless sea).

i think that pairing bewitched with the night circus is perfect!! and i really do like the if i can't have love i want power + priory combination! i still haven't read circe (it's been on my tbr cart for about two years now... if not longer... maybe i will get to it soon (unlikely)). and i still haven't read adrienne tooley! i think i meant to read sweet & bitter magic ages ago and never did 😭 definitely agree with heartstopper + baby queen + YSUFT + sour too!!

so lovely to hear from you as always <3333 i hope you're doing well and staying safe!

[hospitalterrorizer]

diary264

6/7-8/24

friday - saturday

listening to the album now...

really really liking it. there's i think gonna be 6-7 songs i need to fix up, some of that's a little complicated still i think (there's like 4-5 i'm gonna be relistening to, to figure out though + see if i really need to do anything.) but the album sounds really coherent now, i think, and everything's hitting basically, the vocals are a touch muffled but that's like, fine, i think. it's like fucked up weirdo stuff, so it's okay if it's drowned up by the fucked-up-ness and also it is fucked up what i'm singing sometimes i suppose.

i do think i need to get back into reading properly, work made it like, easier, that's one thing i'll miss. it's too easy to sit and watch dumb things all day, reading books is good. i bought that isabelle nicou book, stricture, as well as preordered the new dennis cooper comp of shorts, very excited for both. i do think maybe i want to stick with fiction a touch longer.... out of what's beside me... maybe i need to do another genet right now. it is pride month after all.

also just finished this listen of the album, i'm genuinely so happy with how this is coming out now, it's like, all now coming together really i think. it's like, solidly in front of me, the hideous lovely thing i have spent over a year on... wow, it's so freakish!!

today was really good though, otherwise, we went out with my gf's mom, and she took us places, we went to this korean-dog place, like the corn dogs, and mochi donuts, this place is by our house and really yummy... so we will have to go back... and it's not too spenny. so #swaeg.

i also talked to my mom today, she watched a let's play of the game sally face which she loved, and she also watched one of disco elysium (because i told her i love that game) and it also moved her, i'm very happy about that. sally face makes sense for her, it is very 'her' i think.

beyond the k-dogs, we went to town square, which is like a nightmare shopping bougie zone but it's kind of cute to walk around, my gf and i wandered around some stores, she got a smoothie bowl and i didn't get one cuz something in my throat hurts and it suxx, uhh, we wandered around a victoria's secret a bit, i need to buy underwear but obviously i'm kind of a special case. it's weird how they don't seem to have anything relating to that... it's not like i even tuck just something a bit... idk, i guess thicker in terms of fabric would be nice. anyways, we did that, looked at some shitty clothes (nothing good is ever down there really i think), and after i was being all 'no i don't need to eat' she made me go to a ramen place which was good for my messed up throat. then we went home. oh we also got oatmeal inside of whole foods.

whole foods makes me nostalgic, all that kind of hippie-health food wook orientalist stuff reminds me of being a child, and i remember going to whole food with my mom when i was younger, it was like a special treat to get food from their food-court thingie. i think the first cannoli i ever had was from there. i love cannolis. kind of fucked up they're going to be associate with whole foods for like forever for me.

something about oat meal too, i saw a box of oatmeal that had celtic decoration on it, which also reminded me of all the fae pagan stuff my mom was into when we lived in an apartment together, just her and i, i really have a fondness for that kinda thing. learning about the cycle of the moon, the child's moon, hearing about lilith, special kinds of rock, incense, decoration from cost plus world market, as i get older i sometimes yearn for some of these things... we've gone to the world market semi-recently, i loved looking at the intl. food section.

anyway, i also took selfies today, here i am:

there's some more angles of me in these... hope i am cute... i think i am, which makes me happy. i've been feeling cute again lately without work. which is good.

i also did not read any monster today, shameful but also i was out for a while and stuff so it's not my fault or it is but it's okay cuz it's just for fun it doesn't really matter.

also i feel like it's rather obv but when i take selfies there's like more than what i post. idk why i feel like talking about this but i am, cuz i do the same pose a lot, like hold it for 4-5 pics maybe. maybe not that many or maybe more depending on the pose. idk why i think about posing really i am just trying to be a thing and be visible to create proof for myself + idk, i like people seeing my face and seeing their faces and then having that kind of relation, it makes me more physical, i'm not capable of escaping the body, so i embrace it. i guess this is embracing the body, the excess i keep saved on my computer, the xtra selfies, a strange waste-product, or are the ones i post waste-product, or i suppose it all is, this is the dust that escapes into wind, growing thin, all the particles spread out across everything and mingling with anything and everything else, becoming atmosphere, filtered down, eaten, turned to waste elsewhere.

also isn't the shirt cute... it's got a big pile of discarded stuffed animals on it. i think it is very sweet.

wow, i just found something crazy, some guy on here who really wants to be in the hellp, look and listen:

it's not bad but it's so obvious. i think it's interesting that it's so obvious i guess. the more i listen to him, the more used to his vocals i get, i think he's kind of cool with that at least. he doesn't suck, he's just occupying weird space in the song i feel like. this one is also a bit of a non-song, this one's properly good though:

it's so weird... the guy with bangs + leather jacket +sunglasses thing, not being joey ramone, but just referencing nyc mid 00s dickheads, or early i suppose as well. we've got a guy like this out here in vegas, i call him loewe guy because i've seen him in loewe sometimes. he's nice and really liked the noise set i did and i made him listen to les rallizes denudes. i kind of expected him to be at guitar wolf but my gf said guitar wolf are too rock and roll, formally speaking, and maybe affectively speaking too, but they play stuff super indebted to old rock n roll, 50s stuff you know, psychobilly garage rock indebted freakout music, obv different too but they've got the classic punk thing going where they just love that kinda shit and pull from it like crazy, she said that kind of thing is a 'zoomer check' which is funny but probably true.

going back in this guy's uploads on sc, they get to feel less like the hellp, more like an anonymous ref to a lot of the indie sleaze thing, also feeling like this other kid (hollis?? i think, he's okay, this guy might be better as a songwriter), but this is also pretty good:

the cover is like hilarious to me,

anyway, i need to sleep now, so:

byebye!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[irresistiibles]

was that dev patel? oh no no, that was just jonathan sims, a canon character from the magnus archives. they are thirty one years old, use he/they, and are not aware that they are not actually from washington dc. too bad they can’t stray from this city for long.

how long has your character been here

probably like 8 months but he believes he's lived here 13 years.

what is your character’s job

he works as an archivist for the national archives (and has worked in the past at george washington university as an archivist and honestly preferred that and might wind up going back to it especially once he's aware again)

where has your character been pulled from in their fandom

see that's a great question and kinda why he's unaware until i finish this relisten. he's not gonna be unaware too too long but i'm trying to figure out if i want him more middle of the series around season 2 or 3 or more at the end. if other people bring characters i'll probably see about potentially matching that or not to cause problems

has any magic affected your character

memories are gone!

more info:

**i'm going to keep spoilers light though it will mention some abilities jon has which are spoilers for like season 3? but i won't go into details about how or why he has those abilities

so unimportant but according to the wiki both john and jon are fine as spellings and i'll mostly be using jon.

head archivist from the magnus archives it's jon's job to go through statements from people about things of potentially paranormal activity

it's a horror podcast so obviously things devolve pretty fast but i won't get too far into it.

he's not the easiest to get along with in first meeting. he can come across as pretty rude and dismissive and condescending. he prioritizes his work over being nice and isn't the best at being social

but they are nice, they just aren't very good at being nice. jon can get very in his own head and tends to trust himself far more than others, which obviously leads to him being uh, just kinda obnoxious sometimes idk how else to say it

he thinks he moved to dc at 18 from britain in order to get his bachelor and masters in the us and wound up staying there after being offered a good job opportunity he couldn't turn up, so while he didn't grow up in dc he's been here a while

they're aware of the weirdness in dc, and have been doing some independent research on it, though jon is sure there's a reasonable explanation for it all that just hasn't been discovered yet

records all his research on a tape recorder of course.

honestly right now he's easier to get along with than he would be with his memories. yeah, they're a bit standoffish, and too smart for his own good with a tendency to pry, but jon is relatively nice beyond that and can be a bit of a pushover and easy to get around.

has some light powers of compulsion but does not know this at the moment and definitely has the chance to do it by accident. this is mostly used in terms of compelling people to answer questions he asks and we can definitely plot stuff with this is desired

asexual and biromantic

potential plots:

anyone he knows from work. government officials who have gone to him to retrieve records, students, what have you. listen my knowledge on legit archivist work is light but we'll make it work

a roommate as long as they're cool having a cat

some friends? honestly he's not hard to push into friendship if you can deal with their personality

definitely friends that drag him out to a bar or cafe or whatever because otherwise he will work late nights and weekends the guy needs to get out

someone they butt heads with, maybe met through work or something similar. jon is so easy to butt heads with if you take first impressions seriously.

maybe a barista jon sees all the time. he gets a lot of tea and would have a preferred particular order so

someone could absolutely get him hooked on energy drinks

some one off dates either past or present

since he's trying to research washington if your muse is aware and wants to talk about home or any of the crazy events jon would love to do an interview

i'll come up with more as i add him to my plot doc.

[bahamutgames]

AFTERTHOUGHTS - ROUNDUP ROUND 8

October - November 2023

Hello again!! Soon December will be upon us (or maybe it already is by the time I finish this lol. We'll see) and before you know it, 2023 will already be over. Sheesh. But we still have a few days of November and some big things in December to go through so let's take it one step at a time, okay?

Had an interesting time during October as I was finishing some RPGs and fell into a bit of a funk / gamer block after some junk. But thankfully I managed to pull myself out of it and I'm happily chipping away at my next RPG as we speak! I ended up playing a good amount of shorter stuff these past 2 months, so let's go ahead and talk about some of it!

Per the norm, these aren't reviews. Just my thoughts I'm slapping up here. You should play everything I talk about regardless of what I say and form your own opinion. Cool, let's begin!

Pikuniku (January 24, 2019) - Xbox One

As I said earlier, I fell into a bit of depressed slump for a little. And I decided that replaying Pikuniku would fix me. I played this back around the time covid started, so it had been a long while since I played it. And, yeah, it's still REALLY good! Cute visuals, one of my favorite OSTs ever probably, super charming script and story. It's such a good time honestly even if can be a little rough at points. If you haven't played this game before, I've played it twice now and it 100% gets my seal of approval.

Hatsune Miku Project DIVA F 2nd (March 27, 2014) - Playstation Vita

But... Pikuniku, despite how much I adore it. Didn't fix me. No, sadly, I was still in a bit of a slump and not sure what to play next after being drained of my gamer energy. Then I dug through my games to fetch a console for my sister, and happened to accidentally find out my other sister owned a Miku game on vita. I had no idea we had this! And I've been getting more into vocaloid lately. So what the heck? Why not play it?

I used to hate rhythm games but lately I like them a lot more and, yeah, I had a great time with this! Staying up late in bed playing it late at night was a ton of fun. I discovered a lot of new vocaloid songs I hadn't heard before (off the top of my head I really liked Melt and the spooky themed one but I'll have to relisten to them all to say which were favorites). The game is super cute, I think it looks great, I LOVE that there's a lot of costumes for each of the 6 characters, I liked all the music, and honestly yeah this game really made me feel a lot better.

Only things I can say against it is that easy is WAY too easy, not even asking you to use most buttons of the system. While normal was just WAY too brutal, I couldn't even beat Melt on Normal. Maybe I just suck though. Also I think it can be a little difficult to figure out how to equip costumes but it's not that big of a deal. I like the magician miku outfit a lot, fun game :)

Paratopic (September 6, 2018) - Nintendo Switch

Hey! Here's a game you probably would NOT expect me to play because I avoid horror like the plague lmao. But my brother bought this a long while back, and I saw it sitting there unplayed. And it's like, less than an hour long. So I figured, what the heck? And gave it a shot (shoutouts to my siblings owning random games I guess lol).

Paratopic is interesting because it's meant to be played in one go, with no saving at any point. There's not really any losing either, so it's kind of like an interactive movie. It's told out of order and is also not super in your face about the plot which could be a drawback but it's very clearly the intention so I think it does it very well. Graphics were nice, story is odd and interesting, it's a very unnerving game. I couldn't even relisten to the OST while writing this cause I was too scared (still listening to miku). But again there's no major scares as far as I recall? It's similar to Fatum Batula in art, odd themes, and the fact that it's probably a good horror game for people who hate horror. Not my thing but happy I played through it!

SLUDGE LIFE : The BIG MUD Sessions (August 2, 2023) - PC

DID YOU KNOW I'M A SLUDGE LIFE FAN!? DID YOU KNOW THAT? DID YOU KNOW I 100% COMPLETED THE FIRST GAME THE DAY I STARTED IT AND I OWN A CIGGY TSHIRT CAUSE I LOVE IT SO MUCH!?

Well anyway, I do. And somehow I missed out on the fact that there was a Sludge Life 2 demo that was free to play and had its own plot! So, naturally, I had to sit down and play it! Not a lot to say because it is a small story, taking place only in one building rather than a big city. But I thought it was a great way to get back into the swing of things with Sludge Life, and I had a blast completing this bite sized story! I even completed the full Gato Mago demo present in the game lol. If you're not sure if you'd like the games, I might honestly recommend playing this to give it a shot since it's easy to complete but has everything present in the main 2 games.

Mario Kart 8 Deluxe Booster Course Pass (March 18, 2022) - Nintendo Switch

I talked about the end of the Booster Course Pass a little bit on twitter. But just in case you missed it, I wanted to talk about it here. It's finally done, and honestly I had a blast with it. While this DLC was kinda rough at first, being pricey for some admittedly low quality tracks (at least in terms of graphics) I really think by the end they pulled it together and made this a very worthwhile package with LOTS of new tracks and even new characters that they didn't have to do! I really appreciated it!

This final set of stages was nice, DK Mountain is a classic and it's great to have it back. Rosalina's Ice World was a pleasant surprise! Bowser's Castle 3 seemed like it was gonna be the most boring one but I LOVED it! And Rainbow Road Wii was such a nice send off! Great remake of a great track!

For new tracks, Piranha Plant Cove stood out to me the most. I adored it, as it was brand new to me since I don't play Tour (my younger sister does and she hates this track lmao). But I thought it was gorgeous, has a great aesthetic with the beach/jungle ruins at night, and has great music. It felt like something out of a JRPG which love, and the music particularly reminded me of Sea of Stars a bit!

New characters were great too! Overall while there's still some characters and tracks I wish returned (Wario Stadium, ROB, stuff like that) I do think overall this DLC made MK8DX such a complete package and was totally worth the price of entry I payed however long ago. They brought back some of my all time favorite MK stuff such as Choco Mountain and Petey Piranha.

And honestly, it's looking like MK8 might finally be done. We might actually be moving onto Mario Kart 9 soon which feels crazy to me. MK8 is finished, Tour is done getting new content. I really truly think the next MK thing we see will probably be 9. And I wanted that for YEARS! When they announced the booster pass it rubbed me the wrong was cause I just wanted 9 already. But now that it's here? I'm gonna miss 8 a LOT. It's my favorite one next to DS probably. And it's been the latest Mario Kart for SO long. I remember going to gamestop the day it launched on Wii U to pick it up in 2014 (THAT'S 9 YEARS AGO, BTW. 9 YEARS OF MK8). I've gone through major life changes during the course of MK8's existence. Graduation, learning to drive, moving out (multiple times), presenting in public for the first time. Mario Kart 8 has oddly been a consistent part of my life for a while now. And I'm honestly a little emotional to let it go.

However, I'm very excited to see what comes next from this series. I'm waiting with baited breath for 9, and I'm sure that regardless of what the next game is like, I'll probably love it. It's hard to say goodbye, but I do really love MK8 more the more I think about it and reflect on my time with it. Late night playing with my sister, playing online with friends, playing with randos, driving around the tracks slowly to see all the little details. Thanks for all the good times Mario Kart 8. I'll always be using tilt controls :')

Super Kiwi 64 (December 2, 2022) - PC

Wow that last one got a little emotional, huh? Let's move onto something I haven't spent a large formative part of my adulthood playing. Siactro is a small indie dev I have become fiercely loyal to, playing just about everything they put out since I first played the original Toree! So when I saw they were making a new 3D Collectathon, I was VERY excited!

And this game lived up! It's great! Some GORGEOUS worlds that look so breath taking with these N64 styled graphics. Some fantastic music to accompany you. It feels WONDERFUL to play, I genuinely am OBSESSED with Kiwi's moveset. Gliding, dashing, stabbing into walls to climb up them. It might make exploring a little easy but exploring is absolutely the focus more than platforming is. And I think these tools make that goal very easy and EXTREMELY fun. In fact, it's so good I'm actually sad it isn't longer. There's only 8 worlds and they're all 100% completed rather quickly. Which is fine, Siactro games tend to be short. But this one was just SO good, I wanted more! That's a positive though I promise!

My only real negatives are that the game doesn't explain the plot too well, you have to play Beeny to understand what's happening. Which is fine for me, but it's odd they did that. I also think it's odd that there's NO ENEMIES! I don't think I took a single hit of damage through the game. I think some cute (CUTE NOT HORRIFYING) enemies would really elevate the game and make it a little tougher. Likewise, I know there's only 5-6 main collectables in each world, but I do think some way to keep track of them would be huge. Even just a hint list so you know what you're looking for. Regardless, super fun game, another banger from Siactro and if you're looking for a shorter 3D collectathon, do give it a look!

He Fucked the Girl Out of Me (July 24, 2023) - PC

I'm not sure it's appropriate for me to discuss this in this format as this is a deeply personal game for the creator that tackles real life serious subjects about their past. However, it is still a game and it's a game that's VERY good and I think everyone should play!

He Fucked the Girl Out of Me is a visual novel about the creator's life as a transwoman, and their time as a sex worker. It's a very sad game but that's exactly how it should be and it does end well. But I think it's a really interesting game just by the nature of it being an autobiographical game. That's something I've been interested in for a while and this game does it very well. Really putting you into the head of the creator as they take you through the story.

The graphics are nice, looking like a gameboy title. The story is told very well and did honestly make me cry a bit (I'm particularly sensitive though I cry a lot aha). It's a short game but I would love to see more games that tell people's experiences like this, I think getting to play it can give you a look into their life that a book or movie just can't do the same way. I really loved the scenes where you could pick snacks and see her thoughts on them, and I thought the scene where you see what people message you in this line of work was very well done. There's isn't a ton to say about the gameplay side of things, but I think that's fine since again, it is autobiographical and it manages to tell that story very well through a more VN styled approach.

The game tackles topics about shame, and hiding your trauma due to fear of getting in trouble and the trauma that fear adds on top of the shame. It's a something I think a lot of people can relate to even if you don't go through something as traumatic as what the creator of the game went through. It's an important message and I'll absolutely be keeping an eye on this developer going forward. If you've got the time, give this game a shot.

SLUDGE LIFE 2 (June 27, 2023) - PC

And here we are, Sludge Life 2! As a huge fan of the first, I couldn't resist anymore. I'm a little late but I just HAD to play SL2!! This game picks up RIGHT where The Big Mud Sessions ends off. Big Mud has gone missing after recording, and it's up to Ghost to track him down! All while tagging, making some new friends, and taking pictures of stupid stuff along the way.

It's very similar to the first, but now with the added Ciggy City attached the main town from the first game so there's a LOT more to explore now! Just like the first one it's a ton of fun to run around and platform about while tagging stuff and making friends with random taggers. A lot of them are new this time but there's some familiar faces too. It's still a blast, there's still lots to do, I like that the plot covers some more serious topics, it's very funny, it has great music, I love the graphics. Overall it's a blast! There's a fully uncensored penis in it which is awesome! This is random but I think more games should be allowed to have full uncensored nudity without getting an AO rating.

However, I personally didn't prefer it over SL1 or the Big Mud Sessions. It is fun. But like, I think it wasn't as fun. And it felt like they were leading up to something a little cooler than how it plays out. The death mold felt like it should have been a big thing leading to a big finale. But it's just the bad ending and it's quick and not addressed much, which is how the bomb worked in the first game. But the bomb wasn't teased and didn't feel like it may have been a big deal if that makes sense? I thought Ciggy City could be a little annoying to navigate at times, I don't like Gato Mago as much as the game in the first, I feel like they didn't improve some issues such as it being REALLY hard to find tag spots when you're near 100, I couldn't figure out how to spit in that guy's food! It is still good and I had a great time playing through it, but it just didn't feel as amazing as I was hoping a sequel would feel.

Regardless, I still recommend this series, and I hope we get a Sludge Life 3 that can maybe make good on some of its plot teasing? I am interested to see how the Death Mold will tie into a potential 3rd game as well seeing more uprising against the corruption in the world and the clops. I also would like to see a boss fight, because I really thought the health bar in the trailer meant there was gonna be a boss fight. Doesn't need combat or anything, I think the moveset present in these games could already make for an interesting boss.

Hello My Name is (Val)iant Or Val's Guide To Having A Broken Vag (June 1, 2023) - PC

Another short visual novel about sex and body stuff! This was also a game I randomly discovered a few weeks ago and had a great time playing through it! This game is more lighthearted than He Fucked the Girl Out of Me, but is still a great time and still has important things to say. You play as Val, a transman who has lived with extreme vaginal pain their whole life. And you see the struggles that comes from doctor negligence and trying to find love with that problem.

This one has some more gameplay like scenes, mainly 2 minigames you play twice. But the way they're handled is VERY interesting! I won't spoil it but there's a Tetris minigame used for talking to doctors, and a Rhythm minigame used for having sex. And the way it contrasts the feelings between 2 different experiences in both situations using these minigames is REALLY well done.

It's not autobiographical I don't think, but is more autobiographical in the sense that it capture's the dev team's past issues with doctors ignoring you, medical racism, and the lack of help and care for people with vagina's comfort in sex and just in their bodies in general. I'm not kidding when I tell you this game taught me more about vaginas than my entire life of sex ed in school. Drop out and play video games, kids. You'll learn more.

Great graphics, great music. I know I shouldn't compare it to HFTGOOM so much but I liked both of these a lot! I would love to see more games about real topics that affect real people in the future, and especially ones that maybe tackle more genres than just Visual Novel (though I understand it is the best medium for this)

Sonic the Hedgehog 4 - Episode I (January 19, 2012) - PC

It's time... to talk about Sonic 4... I want to preface this by saying I LOVE SONIC, and I genuinely feel kinda bad whenever I trash on something Sonic related because the series gets so much undeserved hate. And I know I recently had some negative opinions on the Final Horizons DLC but oh my god... Sonic 4 made me appreciate that so much more. Guys, this game sucks. I'm not joking when I say this is probably the worst Sonic game I've ever played.

This game feels so absolutely soulless in a way no other Sonic game can even come close to imitating. It's trying so hard to be like a Classic Sonic game by copying its level themes, concepts, and music style. But it copies absolutely none of the charm in any way. The music just isn't very good (kind of a sin for a Sonic game?). The graphics are REALLY bad imo. It's trying to make all the 3D models look like 2D sprites but it fails MISERABLY. The effect only works on the final boss. I really can't explain it, you'll just have to see the final boss for yourself, it's clearly trying to look like a 2D sprite. The game plays like GARBAGE! Sonic is so slow, takes forever to reach any meaningful speed, and the homing attack doesn't work 99% of the time. It's truly baffling to me.

Speaking of the final boss, that sucks too. The bosses in this game are all rehashes of earlier bosses, but less fun! Big surprise! This game ends with the Death Egg Robot again but unlike the Generations fight with it which is cool. This fight is like, a massive slog that takes FOREVER to kill. I seriously think it may take like 10 minutes to get through if you do perfectly? And it certainly took me about an hour with all my deaths. And the story being like, just the Sonic 1 story is so boring, no one talks, the animations don't look that good. This game just SUCKS. And that's just the game, not even considering the fact it's uploaded to Steam with an error that makes it so you can't launch it without a fan made launcher!

I think what bothers me so much about this game is that people ALWAYS like to flame on the usual suspects when it comes to Sonic. 06, Shadow, stuff like that. But I will die on this hill, those games, while maybe not being GREAT and certainly lacking polish, are FUN and full of heart and soul. Why is this game NEVER brought up? It has barely any, if any, redeeming qualities. I know this was made for youtube reviewers who hated Sonic having friends and stories but I genuinely cannot believe that even they would enjoy just playing Sonic 1 but worse and shorter? Truly a game for no one. Let's move on.

Sonic the Hedgehog 4 - Episode II (May 15, 2012) - PC

So right out of the gate, this game is SO much better than the first it's actually jarring. I still don't think it's great. But it's more just, eh, rather than being terrible like Episode I. For improvements, they drop the art style which is a big help. I feel like the music, while still trying to sound like Genesis music, actually works this time and sounds pleasant and fun. And while Sonic is still REALLY slow and the homing attack still doesn't really work, it just feels better to play. And the addition of new content instead of just rehashing old stuff is VERY welcome. Sonic 4 Episode 2 opens with a brand new, gorgeous castle stage. Has Tails who is used for team up moves, and features ACTUALLY NEW BOSSES! Wow!

Overall it is a massive improvement over the first. But it still has a lot of issues. For one, the levels are SO long. Like, they just do not end ever. And they do kind of start to copy other games in the second half . The Tornado level is a SLOG and just not fun. I hate the stupid half pipes (does anyone really like these?) And the bosses are even worse, they're not BAD but they're SO long and all end on this big hit you have to land that can be a chore to get right (the trash golem boss). And the final boss, while it is WAY cooler, lasts SO long!! You have to walk through a not super short level to get to it, watch a not short cutscene, then watch a cutscene after EVERY PHASE. Unskippable, do this upon EVERY DEATH. Not every Game Over, EVERY DEATH!

Whatever, again, it is a LOT better than the first. It's not offensively bad like that one was. But still, kind of an odd game. The boss themes are great though.

Sonic the Hedgehog 4 - Episode Metal (May 15, 2012) - PC

I probably don't have to discuss this as it's just Episode I backwards. But I do have to give some props to this one cause it is kinda neat. And probably the most interesting idea of Sonic 4. Letting you play as Metal is cool, I'm a sucker for stuff like this where you revisit worlds in a different context (you start at the final world and work your way back to the starting world.) It's neat! And even though it's pretty much identical to Sonic 4 Episode 1. It's way shorter, with no bosses. So it's more fun.

Overall I'm happy I tried Sonic 4. But these games just sucked man. If you wanna play one, just play Episode 2 don't even bother with Episode 1. I genuinely get a bit of happiness knowing there was never an Episode 3 I have to suffer through. 2D Sonic still has a place nowadays. But everything offered here is done better in LITERALLY EVERY OTHER ATTEMPT AT A NEW 2D SONIC!

Want classic gameplay with nice classic pixel art? Sonic Mania is there. Want classic gameplay with the modern designs? Sonic Advance Trilogy is better. Want 2D Sonic with homing attacks and boosting and stuff? Sonic Rush games are better. Oh but you can't play as Metal? YOU FOOL!! SONIC RIVALS 1&2 ARE BOTH BETTER AND ALSO HAVE SHADOW AND EVEN ROUGE IS IN THE SECOND ONE!

And when do these games take place? Is it trying to imply this ACTUALLY takes place between Sonic 3 and Adventure? Like is this supposed to be saying Metal is only in heroes BECAUSE of this game? That's nuts right? That sounds insane right?

Again, truly a game for no one. Go play Sonic Rivals.

Portal (October 10, 2007) - PC

Ah, Portal! You may be surprised to learn I've never beaten this game! And more surprised to learn I've NEVER beaten a Valve game prior to this! I started this game when I was young but got stuck during one of the puzzles (the only where you have to launch yourself across the barrier you can't shoot through?) and dropped it. But I own it again on steam and thought I should give it another go. And I'm glad I did!

This game was SUPER fun! It's short but every level is genuinely cool to try and figure out how to use the portals to their fullest. Which, in of itself, feels very impressive to me. I can't help but feel like programming and making those portals work must have been a NIGHTMARE! But it payed off because again, it's SUPER fun! GLaDOS is really funny during the whole thing, the credits song is of course fantastic, and the creepy parts where you see outside of the experiments were VERY scary and I had to mute the game during them cause they unnerved me so much lmao.

But without a doubt, the best part of this game was the final boss. I thought it was SUPER interesting trying to get the portals lined up to blast GLaDOS. And the context of the fight, with GLaDOS being obsessed with flooding the facility with toxic gas was very funny.

The only real drawback I can say the game has considering it's so short is that the final escape sequence is a little long. But GLaDOS taunting you during it and trying to sound like she's in control of the situation was fun and I did like the part where you have to fight a bunch of the turrets at once.

But yeah! Fun game! Glad I finally beat it! I still hold firm that Chell is the best choice for a Valve character in Smash Bros. cause I'd be SO interested in seeing them make the portals work in that game!

[alittlebitgoofy]

music recs?

anon ur awakening a beast by asking me for music recs I hope u know that

to try and keep my rambling to a minimum I'll just say a couple bands I can't stop listening to recently, huge one is paramore they literally don't have a bad album and I relistened to after laughter last night and it is the best depression music around and their older stuff is so loud and very angry and i love it sm (riot was my favourite album for a while but now it's self titled just bc of the different styles on the album every song does something different and i love it) another one would be against the current, saw them live recently and oh my fucking god they're so good and I've been a fan of them for YEARS, I highly recommend the entire gravity ep it got me into them and has some fucking bops on it, fever is also really good if you want more recent stuff

i realise this is more than a couple so I'm gonna crash two together and say stand atlatnic and hot milk have become two of my absolute favs recently, I've been listening to glass spiders on repeat practically and deathwish is one of my favourite songs it just goes hard

can you tell i'm not out of my emo phase? i think it's permanent now but if you want something a bit more vibey I also adore the aces, they're a queer indie band who make really good vibey music and I fucking love the song stay rn it just scratches my brain in the right way

that and i always go back to cruel or my phone is tryna kill me

[ppbpencilcrayon]

Amnesty Sylvain Theory(?)

Ok so I was relistening to some amnesty episodes, (mostly 28 and 32 because I love making myself cry apparently) and I had some thoughts. I dont event know if the information I'm basing this theory off of is even 100% accurate but I'm gonna try to make this as understandable as possible because it's just gonna be me rambling for a couple paragraphs. I'm on mobile rn so I don't think I can put a keep reading thing so sorry, this is gonna get long.

Oh yeah and spoilers for up to episode 32

So here's what we know so far and I apologize if I'm getting some of these wrong.

Sylvain, the entity, is missing

Aubrey can hear the thoughts and memories of Sylvain's Interpreter who I cant remember the name of at the moment

Sylvain is missing because a while back some humans went to Sylvain and broke off pieces of the crystal

Aubrey can interact with the crystal, but instead of giving her energy like it does to other Sylvans, (is that the term? Or is it silphs? I cant remember) she gives energy to the crystal

The Flamebright Pendant has been passed down throughout Aubrey's family and is made of the Sylvain Crystal

Aubrey thinks her powers were what caused the fire the night Ned and Boyd robbed her house

Aubrey met Magic when she was trying to revive Deputy Dewey

Dani told Aubrey that recently she realized that she felt at home when she was with Aubrey

Naturally when given this information, some people have come to the conclusion "oh, Aubrey might be Sylvain" but I don't think that's the case. I'm gonna try and go over my thoughts on that and try to be coherent because my thoughts are very scattered as I type this. One big thing that I keep going back and forth on is how Dani told Aubrey that she felt like home. And she even specifies, not sentimentally, literally. There's probably a good couple of ways you could interpret that, but the way I've seen people interpret it as is "Subconsciously, you remind me of Sylvain". But that also doesn't make sense. When Dani is expressing her worries about which side of the gate to land on, she mentions that part of the reason she was having such a hard time with that decision was that Sylvain no longer felt like home.

But here's where my little theory(?) (and I put a question mark with that bc honestly I'm still not sure about it) comes in. What if Sylvain is in the Flamebright Pendant?

Ok, yes, I know, it's a bit of a reach bc for most of amnesty the flamebright pendant has been locked in the back room of the cryptonomica, but hear me out. (I would like to emphasize, there's a whole bunch of connections I'm just kind of bullshitting with no data to draw from so you might want to take this with a grain of salt)

My main reasoning is that if memory serves, Sylvain went missing the day the crystal got broken, so who's to say that she(?) didn't get trapped in one of the shards? And that shard hadn't just been providing the Little Family some luck, but also a little bit of magic that got passed whenever a family member passed the pendant down to their descendant? That could be why Aubrey's powers manifested that night specifically, not just the danger, but because her mother gave her the pendant. She wasnt wearing it, but maybe all it took was Mrs. Little vocalizing that, yes Aubrey was the next owner of the pendant. Then even after Ned took the pendant, that magic was still fairly linked to Aubrey, just not as strong.

The real question is, why would Aubrey's magic suddenly reactivate again at some random magic show? Mama. Mama, who is constantly working with the former inhabitants of Silvain. Mama, who has probably been to Sylvain multiple times. Whatever piece of sylvain is connected to Aubrey might be able to sense that? So her magic sparks again and she's brought back to Amnesty Lodge where there's even more Sylvain energy because not only is the gate right there, but Aubrey, without even realizing it, is closer to the pendant than she has been in years. So now that the connection between Aubrey and Sylvain is stronger than, probably ever, she's now starting to get more access, more control, over her powers.

Why does Aubrey have access to Alexandra's(?) memories? Maybe because they both have fairly strong connections to Sylvain, they have some amount of connection with eachother by association? (Another interpretation could also be Alexandra is Sylvain and Aubrey is the new interpreter?)

With the crystal stuff, I feel like maybe Aubrey is drawing her powers directly from Sylvain? And while the crystal is the battery, Sylvain is the energy source. The crystal only has so much energy to give out before it's drained, but Sylvain was its constant source. So that could explain why instead of giving energy, the crystal takes from Aubrey. (Of course this could be the crystal's reaction to all humans, we just dont know since Aubrey is the only one we've seen touch the crystal so far).

And finally, when Dani tells Aubrey she literally feels like home. I know what I already said but there's something else I didn't mention. The thing that Silvain provides that all of its inhabitants require to stay sane. Everywhere Dani has been, everywhere she has called home, as had that one specific similarity. It had to, or else all of the sylphs stuck on earth would have long gone feral. Whatever energy is given by the crystal and the springs by Amnesty Lodge. Dani also mentioned it was a recent thing. Aubrey getting her pendant back was also a relatively recent thing.

(Also I feel like they're gonna find some way to bring Sylvain back bc it would make sense that the big loose end of "where the hell did Sylvain go" is something that got tied up at the end and this seems like a good way to do it)

Congrats you've finally made it to the end of this absurdly long post. Next time I go on desktop I'll edit this and add that keep reading option.

TLDR:

[hospitalterrorizer]

diary144

2/5-6/2024

monday - tuesday

will have to work tomorrow.

and i worked today, but on stuff i like. i edited something, for something, a piece of writing, very fun, been a while since i've been handed notes and thought over them and proceeded from there, it's usually all internally done. very excited about that, whenever it happens.

i also wrote lyrics last night, half of a song, the other half i have kinda written kinda not, need to figure out where/how to make them sit. but i basically recorded half the lyrics today and that's pretty exciting i think, so this song is what i've mostly been doing today, and then i think after i get this next test export out on the mix, hopefully if it's good, i'll go onto the next song on the checklist and get that ready, and thennnn, idk. i might have some more fragments that can inspire lyrics, after that, god knows i need to get some more stuff down, some actual ideas for things to say. doing 1 more export on this, just trying to get the vocals to sound right, bright enough i suppose, and there's too many low freqs, i need to shelf them out i think, so that's what i'm trying. i might also be wishing i did these vocals differently, idk, relistening will help me figure it out though , so it's good to do this anyways, getting the mix there roughly is just all around a good idea.

anyway, i figure this is going to be a short entry today, because the next song i need to fix i think has relatively minimal issues, the song needs to be louder, one sound needs to be brightened, and the snares need a little more presence. i shouldn't really mess with anything else, i should also maybe port the rough vocals i have in for that to the main song and get that sorted.

beyond that, check this out:

i don't really care for television but that might be wrong of me, i need to go back and listen, but i will say, i love this recording of them when they still had richard hell playing bass, super fucked up sounding band, love it a lot, the guitar stuff is very inspiring but so is that attitude, i first saw this vid a few years ago, it kind of blew me away totally.

yayy okay, that's one more song knocked off the list, one song with some vocals down, and lyrical ideas for the other half, now i'll see if i can figure something out for another song maybe, and that'll be a good day, it'd be one even still. hopefully tomorrow i can try and record something before work too, that'd be the bestttt.

okay, i did write some lyrics, good, and i think i like them, the issue is they're screamy but maybe i try that tomorrow, test the water, idk.

anyway, i am sleepy now, so:

byebye!!!!!!!!!!!!!