#i'll go days with a sentence phrase or thought stuck in my head

[tittyinfinity]

"And my girlfriend looks just like me mixed with Zach Gilifianakis" is gonna be stuck in my head for a while now huh

[elloitsme69]

Star-crossed lovers

A/N:GN! Reader x Kaedehara Kazuha

TW! :angst, mild description of wound, hurt no comfort

Summary:Love blossoms between a certain pair. However, fate decides differently.

Source:https://genshin.global/character/kaedehara-kazuha-anemo/

This tale tells of a pair of intertwined fates, star crossed lovers.Destined to be together yet forever apart.

It all started when Y/N woke up in the middle of the night and found a rather good looking man badly injured, seeking help and shelter in the heavy downpour. Y/N quickly ushered him to the fireplace and closed the door. They hurried to the bathroom to get some fresh towels. The rain dripped from his silky white hair with a streak of red and his intricate traditional Samurai dress. Due to the dampess of his clothes, it stuck to his skin.

Y/N quickly wrapped the man in the fluffy towel like a burrito."Undress yourself. "The man's face flushed, startled. " What?! "Realising the content of what they just said Y/N quickly fixed their sentence as they slowly became the same color as a tomato, " No! No! I meant undress yourself so I can treat your wounds, sorry. "Inwardly cursing themself, they decided to shut their mouth. Silence fell between them and Y/N now had a superior understanding of the phrase 'the silence is deafening'.

As they were tending to the injuries, which were quite deep,which led them to wonder what caused these. Y/N broke their train of thought,cleared their throat and tried to break the silence, while also breaking their promise to themself to keep quiet. "So, my name is Y/N, what's yours? "" It's, uhm, Kaedehara Kazuha. "Y/N choked on their saliva in shock, accidentally pressing the cottonbud they were holding into the cut. Kazuha hissed in pain while Y/N quickly said, " Sorry! So... You're the wanted criminal the Shogun is looking for? "He coughed awkwardly and replied, " Yeah. If it bothers you, I will leave immediately. "Y/N quickly shook their head. " No, I can't just ignore a heavily wounded person in need of help. "

Fast forward a few months of Kazuha's temporary stay, he made a full recovery. He brought up something called the Crux, a ship, where they went on daring adventures and travelled the whole world. Y/N's heart squeezed everytime he brought it up as it reminded them he was only here for a unknown amount of time and would leave and any time. They had gotten used to Kazuha's comforting presence and his clean smell, like a sunny day with a light breeze. Unbeknownst to Y/N, Kazuha felt the same. The kindness and their adorable body language drew him in and before he knew it, he was a fool for them.

Of course, both did not know of the feelings of each other. They longed for each other and one day, the feelings both kept bottled up finally overflowed. On a peaceful night, the sound of the breeze blowing, they had decided to stargaze together under the bright twinkling of the stars. This didn't really go according to plan as the tension between them was thick enough to cut with a knife. Before they knew it, their lips met and the feelings of longing came out with their actions.

Kazuha pulled away, letting them catch their breath and saying, "We should stop, this relationship won't be good for either of us when we part. If we go any further, I won't be able to control myself. "" What if I don't want you to go? Why can't you stay? "A lump formed in their throat as they felt the tears beginning to form. They swallowed it down and quickly fanned their eyes. " We've been through this already. I have to leave,I'm a wanted criminal and you're a civilian. The longer I stay, the more dangerous it is for you. "Y/N wanted to retort, it's fine if you stay, I'll even go with you, just don't leave. But they couldn't bring themself to say it. Deep down they understood it was just not to be. They understood it, but their heart did not.

The next day, Y/N woke up and went to the kitchen. The house was oddly quiet. Usually Kazuha would be humming a tune or the sound of sizzling accompanied by a mouthwatering aroma would be present. Y/N looked around the whole house, no sign of his white hair, no sign of his clothes. It was like he was never even there. Maybe he had gone out for groceries? They held out some hope. Y/N spotted a note left on the table. They quickly picked it up and read it.

It said, "Thank you for your care and infinite hospitality.The Crux has arrived, which signals my departure.I am forever grateful for your kindness.However,once I repay this favor,I will no longer be indebted to you.We will meet again when our paths intertwine once more,whether in this life or the next.Yet we will be no more than strangers,yet no less than friends.it is for the good of both of us that it ends this way. Perhaps in another life,under different circumstances,shall we be able tread the path we could not.

Goodbye, Y/N."

Y/N's legs gave out. They slumped to the floor and the paper flew out their hands and gently landed on the floor. Before they even realised it, tears streamed down their face and they choked on their sob. Y/N's crying shook their whole body and would definitely give them puffy eyes later. But they could care less.Fate dealt them a heavy blow.They say that time heals all wounds, but Y/N would never heal from this.

[shiningwonderland]

Syo Kurusu (Repeat)

Translator: Raz (Twitter: agnadance)

Editor: Snail (Twitter: herbert_snail)

March — Turbulent Syncopation

Syo Kurusu: Well, I guess this is it.

Haruka Nanami: Syo-kun, you've improved so much!

Syo Kurusu: Of course! Human beings are meant to advance every single day!

Select the Phrase!

身長も？Their height, too? (+5 Love +0 Music)

Syo Kurusu: Shut up about height!

Haruka Nanami: You're not getting taller?

Syo-kun flinches, his words getting stuck in his throat.

Haruka Nanami: Syo-kun, you've become so much stronger over the past few months that I thought you've grown taller…

Syo Kurusu: Is that what you think? Huh, yeah! Maybe you're onto something!

Haruka Nanami: Yes…

Syo Kurusu: Th-then, I'll go measure myself!

Haruka Nanami: Ah… He left…

If he's going to measure his height, then maybe he went to the nurse's office? There should be a machine that measures height there.

Syo Kurusu: … I'm back.

Haruka Nanami: How was it…?

Syo Kurusu: One millimeter…

Haruka Nanami: You grew taller?

Syo Kurusu: … No, I shrunk… What the hell was that?! Is it broken?!

Haruka Nanami: There, there…

Syo comes in fuming, but he immediately puts himself together and begins practice again.

成績も？Their grades, too? (+10 Love +5 Music)

Syo Kurusu: Ugh… Well, I'm not getting failing grades anymore… I think that's thanks to you, actually. Your notes are well organized, after all.

Syo Kurusu: Also, you're also really good at teaching. If you aren't able to become a professional composer, how about becoming a teacher?

Haruka Nanami: A teacher… at school? That sounds nice…

Syo Kurusu: Hey, hey, don't take that comment too seriously. It's a joke. You're gonna be my composer for life!

Haruka Nanami: Hehehe. Understood! I'll do my best! Let's win the graduation audition!

体重も？Their weight, too? (+0 Love +0 Music)

Syo Kurusu: Yeah, yeah, hot pot really hits the spot this time of year–HEY!

Syo Kurusu: Don't make fun of me! I'm an idol! I can watch my weight, y'know!

Haruka Nanami: I would expect nothing less of you!

Syo Kurusu: Lately, I haven't been having any symptoms either! Thanks to that, I think the surgery will go well. Our final problem is the lyrics…

Haruka Nanami: Huh? Didn't you finish writing them a while back?

Syo Kurusu: … Well, those lyrics do match the rhythm of the song so I can sing them if I have to, but I feel like they're not quite right yet.

Syo Kurusu: What I want to say is that they don't feel complete. I want to put my soul into our song.

Syo Kurusu: The power words have is huge. I feel like the lyrics don't hold a candle to your composition. There's something missing.

Select the Phrase!

テーマを決めてみたら？How about deciding on some themes? (+5 Love +10 Music)

Haruka Nanami: Hyuga-sensei advised us to decide on some themes.

Syo Kurusu: Themes, huh? Hmm, how about "life", "living", "strength", "dreams", "courage", "persistence"... Oh, and something like  "Follow me!" 

Haruka Nanami: Hahaha, I think that's good, too. I think the best part about you is how strong you are and how you never give up.

言葉を書き連ねてみたら？How about make a list of words? (+5 Love +5 Music)

Haruka Nanami: I heard if you get lost, try to write as many words as possible that pop up into your head into a notebook. It may be good to even try allegories.

Haruka Nanami:You might get something interesting if you try different combinations.

Haruka Nanami:Also, Hyuga-sensei said that it's okay to write words and not full sentences. He said to give musical phrases the utmost consideration.

Haruka Nanami:The words will be put into song, so it's fine if the nuance shows even with one word. I think he also said that the chorus should be really catchy…

Syo Kurusu: I see. That's really helpful. Thanks, Haruka!

情景と心情を・・・Scenes and emotions… (+5 Love +5 Music)

Haruka Nanami: Hyuga-sensei said not only to include emotions, but scenes too.

Haruka Nanami: He said describing something that instantly puts a scene in your head is easy to understand.

Haruka Nanami: If you put emotions into that, it's easy to immerse yourself into the song.

Haruka Nanami: If I remember correctly, something like beginning with a character's actions, or describing the place they're in, then describing the feelings of that character…

Haruka Nanami: That's just one of the methods that I was taught.

Syo Kurusu: Yeah! Just you wait. I'll write lyrics so good that it'll rock your heart.

Haruka Nanami: I'm looking forward to it.

It's the end of school.

Syo-kun and I walk towards the dorms together.

Haruka Nanami: Isn't that…

We see Kaoru-kun peek at us from outside the school gates.

Syo Kurusu: And then Ren said… huh? What's the matter?

Haruka Nanami: … It's nothing. I forgot something back at school, so can we split up here?

Syo Kurusu: That's fine, but why not just go together?

Haruka Nanami: Thanks, but it's okay. I'll see you tomorrow.

Once I confirm Syo-kun has walked out of sight, I run towards Kaoru-kun.

Haruka Nanami: Kaoru-kun!

Kaoru Kurusu: Ah, Nanami-san… Why…? You've got sharp eyes to notice me…

Haruka Nanami: Did you come to see how Syo-kun's doing?

If that's so, then he must've come see him occasionally this entire time in secret.

Kaoru Kurusu: It's because I'm worried about him… but Syo-chan hates how much I worry about him.

Kaoru-kun purses his lips.

Kaoru Kurusu: I want to be by his side to support him always, but he's the one trying to protect me… He's working too hard…

Kaoru Kurusu: You're Syo-chan's girlfriend, right? Are you supporting him properly? Aren't you the one being protected by him instead of the other way around?

He raises his head and looks me in the eye. Ahh, Kaoru-kun truly cares about Syo-kun.

Kaoru Kurusu: I'm sorry for saying this, but you don't seem to be that reliable. You're not being a burden to him, are you?

Haruka Nanami: I'm… doing my best to not hold him back. Nonetheless, Syo-kun sometimes does work himself too hard.

Haruka Nanami: I want to do even better to support him.

Kaoru Kurusu: Are you really supporting him?

He stares at me with a doubtful look in his eyes. I understand, I need to earn his trust.

Haruka Nanami: I'll do my best.

That's all I can say. Compared to Kaoru, who has been with Syo-kun since birth, I am just a stranger to him.

I need to work even harder so he can trust me.

Haruka Nanami: By the way, you two are twins, right? Is your health okay, Kaoru-kun? Your heart doesn't start hurting or anything?

Kaoru Kurusu: I'm fine. I'm completely healthy…

Kaoru Kurusu: I took all of Syo-chan's energy when we were in the womb together. That's why he's so weak…

Haruka Nanami: That's not true…

Kaoru Kurusu: I know that's a completely irrational way of thinking, but that thought has always been stuck in my mind.

He must've felt so guilty for being healthy when Syo-kun has been suffering so much.

That must be why he began thinking like that.

But no matter how hard Kaoru-kun is on himself, that won't make Syo-kun happy…

Kaoru Kurusu: When my friends and I would play in preschool and kindergarten, Syo-chan would be bedridden in the hospital.

Kaoru Kurusu: Syo-chan is energetic now, but he became ill very often when we were kids, and he was almost always in the hospital.

I wish he spoke up more, like say he wanted to go to preschool too, but he would say…

Kaoru-kun bites down on his lip in an attempt to hold back his tears.

Kaoru Kurusu: He would never complain even once. He would sacrifice himself by telling me that I should go out and have fun.

Kaoru Kurusu: He would laugh and say he was fine, putting up a cheerful act.

Haruka Nanami: Yes… Syo-kun always says that, doesn't he? Even when he's in pain…

Kaoru Kurusu: But the truth is, Syo-chan is actually vulnerable.

Kaoru Kurusu: I saw him cry to himself in his hospital bed when I wasn't with him.

Haruka Nanami: …

Kaoru Kurusu: "I want to live." "I want to get better." "I want to play outside with everyone else." He was crying, his voice shaking. 

Kaoru Kurusu: The moment he noticed I was standing there, he wiped his tears and acted like nothing happened. He laughed and said he's fine.

Syo-kun has been fighting all by himself this entire time, even when he was a child.

Kaoru Kurusu: I want to protect him, but all he does is protect me instead. I get so sad and frustrated…

Kaoru Kurusu: That's when I thought I'll become a doctor and cure Syo-chan's illness…

Haruka Nanami: Is that so…

Kaoru Kurusu: But I couldn't become one immediately… so every time I saw Syo-chan like that, it was so unbearable that I would cry.

Kaoru Kurusu: All I could do was say sorry to him. Syo-chan is in so much pain, but he would never complain to me.

Kaoru Kurusu: He didn't say anything when he quit playing violin… Instead, he began learning karate…

Haruka Nanami: That's because… Syo-kun wanted to become stronger in his own way…

Kaoru Kurusu: I understand, but… At that time, I thought that he became so desperate that he was just hurting himself.

Kaoru Kurusu: In fact, I still think he's doing that. He's trying to hurry through his life.

Kaoru Kurusu: He's panicking because he thinks he has no time left to live, but… if one were to care for him, he can live even longer.

Kaoru Kurusu: I want him to wait for me… until I become a doctor and become able to cure his sickness…

Kaoru Kurusu: I just want him to wait patiently.

Haruka Nanami: The reason why you're aiming to become a doctor is for Syo-kun, right?

Kaoru Kurusu: Yes… That was the reason at first, but now I want to cure not just Syo-chan but anyone who is suffering from illness.

Kaoru Kurusu: I want to make them happy…

Haruka Nanami: Syo-kun must feel the same way.

Kaoru Kurusu: Huh…?

Haruka Nanami: Syo-kun is aiming to become an idol because he wants everyone to be happy and spread his joy to others.

Kaoru Kurusu: His joy…? Is that why he wants to become an idol?

Haruka Nanami: Yes, Syo-kun and Kaoru-kun's methods are different, but you're both aiming for the same goal.

Kaoru Kurusu: Is that so…? Is that true?

Haruka Nanami: Just like Kaoru-kun wants Syo-kun to be happy and put a smile on his face…

Syo-kun wants Kaoru-kun to be happy, so he's doing his best making his song.

A song that would lift the spirits of anyone who listens to it… that's why I want you to support Syo-kun's goal to be an idol…

Kaoru Kurusu: I…

He whispers to himself then looks down to think.

Kaoru Kurusu: … I'll go back for today. Tell Syo-chan to not overwork himself…

He leaves while clenching his fist.

Haruka Nanami: Yes.

Syo-kun and Kaoru-kun… They care about each other this much, but why are they always at conflict?

Is it because they're too stubborn? I wish they would see eye to eye soon…

Syo Kurusu: So he went back home?

Haruka Nanami: Ah, Syo-kun! Since when…

Syo Kurusu: I came back a while ago because you were acting strange. That guy's a handful.

Haruka Nanami: He's just worried about you, Syo-kun…

Syo Kurusu: I get that, but he needs to think about himself more. He's only ever cared about me even when we were little.

Syo Kurusu: When we were kids, he would cry so much every time I fell ill.

Syo Kurusu: He would say that the reason why I'm not healthy is because he took all my energy when we were in the womb. 

Syo Kurusu: Even though that makes no sense, he always apologized to me and beat himself up for it.

Syo Kurusu: I kept telling him there's no relation at all and he's at no fault, but he would never listen.

Syo Kurusu: I just… don't feel comfortable seeing him cry. I decided I'll become better so I would never make him cry.

Syo Kurusu: I made a vow not to ever show that I'm in pain in front of him.

Haruka Nanami: Syo-kun…

But Syo-kun's consideration is the entire reason why Kaoru-kun is hurting inside…

It hurts me to see them care about each other this much and yet not truly understand each other.

Syo Kurusu: When we entered elementary school, I was able to go to school normally and Kaoru and I both began to study violin on our parents' suggestion.

Syo Kurusu: At that time, we were aiming to become pro violinists together.

Syo-kun grins with a nostalgic look on his face.

Syo Kurusu: Even so, I still fell ill sometimes and had to take a day off from school. Every time I did, Kaoru would also take a break and stay by my side.

Syo Kurusu: Although it's not possible to be together all the time, he would do his best to never leave me because he thought that I felt inferior to him.

Syo Kurusu: That's when I met Natsuki and quit violin.

Syo Kurusu: Kaoru incessantly asked me why I quit, but I never gave him an answer. He felt guilty because he was convinced that it was his fault that I quit.

Syo Kurusu: After that, I began practicing karate. I lied to Kaoru that I quit violin because karate looked more interesting.

Syo Kurusu: Kaoru was completely against me doing karate, saying that I should stop because it's dangerous for me…

Syo Kurusu: But I never quit. I trained and trained, and when I got better at karate, my body became more and more resilient. 

Syo Kurusu: The doctor was surprised too, saying it was a miracle…

Haruka Nanami: I… always thought that you were powerful even since you were born.

Haruka Nanami: But now I know that's not true. You became strong because you worked hard for it…

Syo Kurusu: Well, the ability to keep trying is a strength on its own. In that sense, you're strong too.

Syo Kurusu: But Kaoru… maybe because he was healthy from the start, or that I was like this, but…

Syo Kurusu: He's fragile… Or maybe sensitive is the better way to word it. Anyway, he would start crying over the smallest things.

Syo Kurusu: I don't want to make him cry… If I told him that I'm planning to undergo surgery, he'll cry for sure…

Select the Phrase!

内緒にしておく？Will you keep it secret? (+0 Love +0 Music)

Syo Kurusu: There's no way I'll do that. I'll tell him soon enough… Will you come with me when that time comes?

Haruka Nanami: … Yes.

言わないの？You won't tell him? (+20 Love +0 Music)

Syo Kurusu: No… I'll tell him with my own words. However…

Syo-kun clasps my hand.

Syo Kurusu: I want you to be by my side when that time comes.

Haruka Nanami: Okay.

言わなきゃダメだよ。You have to tell him. (+10 Love +0 Music)

Syo Kurusu: … I know. Will you encourage me to do it?

Haruka Nanami: …?

Syo Kurusu: If you're by my side, I feel like I can tell him properly.

Haruka Nanami: … I'll stay with you. I'll stay with you as long as you're fine with that.

Syo Kurusu: Thanks.

Next day, Syo-kun calls Kaoru-kun to his room and tells him everything.

The fact that he'll never give up pursuing being an idol, and that he'll undergo surgery to do so.

Kaoru Kurusu: I understand that you're ready for this, but what about me and your girlfriend?

Syo-chan, you're always like this. Even that time when you quit playing violin suddenly… All I can do is worry about you.

Why do you always decide this by yourself? I want you to talk it out with me… Am I really that unreliable?

Syo Kurusu: That's not it…

Kaoru Kurusu: Then don't go. Don't go to a far off place by yourself.

Syo Kurusu: Sorry, but I've already decided.

Kaoru Kurusu: You're going no matter what?

Syo Kurusu: Yeah. When the graduation audition is over, I'm going to the States.

Kaoru Kurusu: What about her? She's your girlfriend. Are you just going to leave her behind?

Syo Kurusu: Yeah, that's how it'll be.

Kaoru Kurusu: That's how it'll be…? That's cruel! Are you serious? You're satisfied with that?

Select the Phrase!

寂しいけど・・・I'll feel lonely, but…. (+15 Love +0 Music)

Haruka Nanami: But… Syo-kun will return no matter what, so…

Syo Kurusu: Haruka… Yeah, I'll come back for sure.

Syo-kun puts his arm around my shoulders and pulls me in.

翔くんが決めたことだから。Syo-kun has decided. (+15 Love +10 Music)

Haruka Nanami: I'll do as he says.

Syo Kurusu: Thanks. I knew that you would say that.

Syo-kun and I look at each other and hold each other's hands.

信じてるから。I believe in him. (+25 Love +0 Music)

Haruka Nanami: Syo-kun will come back better than ever.

Kaoru Kurusu: But… there's only a 50% chance of success. If this surgery fails… Anyway, I think it's best for him to stay put.

Syo Kurusu: I can increase my chances with a fighting spirit! Isn't that right?

Haruka Nanami: Yes!

He's passionate and nothing will change if he runs away. I think that's what he's trying to say. 

Kaoru Kurusu: I can't believe that. No, if Syo-chan's gone, what should I do with myself?

Haruka Nanami: Believe in him. Your emotions will become strength, and even though they're not visible, your wishes will come true if you gather enough of them. 

Syo Kurusu: Yes! That's a great way to put it! It's not impossible!

Syo Kurusu: There's a whole 50% chance! I believe in that 50%! I'll survive for everyone's sake. …No, I want to live for myself…

Kaoru Kurusu: You really believe in each other. I thought I was the one who understood you the most…

Kaoru Kurusu: I always thought that I was the most important person in your life…

Syo Kurusu: …You're my little brother. You're one of my precious family members. 

Syo Kurusu: We're twins. We've been together ever since we were born and were raised under the same roof, but we have to walk different paths from now on.

Syo Kurusu: She's my partner… and my girlfriend…

Syo Kurusu: We'll be walking the same path together from now on… She's special.

Syo Kurusu: You're not alone. I believe that you can get your own partner…

Haruka Nanami: … Syo-kun…

Kaoru Kurusu: I… might take your girlfriend while you're gone. Are you okay with that?

Haruka Nanami: Huh? U-Uh…

Syo Kurusu: Try if you can.

Kaoru Kurusu: … You don't get it at all!

He storms out of the room.

Select The Phrase!

行っちゃったね・・・He left… (+0 Love +0 Music)

Syo-kun silently gazes at the door.

わかってもらえるといいね。I hope he'll understand. (+20 Love +0 Music)

Syo Kurusu: Yeah…

Syo-kun… He wants Kaoru-kun to understand him more than anyone else.

あの・・・追いかけた方が・・・Um… will you follow him? (+10 Love +0 Music)

Syo Kurusu: No, it's pointless to do that… I wanted him to understand me though.

I wonder if Kaoru-kun will come to the graduation audition?

I want him to hear Syo-kun's song… I want him to know his resolve.

I have to practice as hard as I can until the very end…

MINI GAME

Ryuya Hyuga: Whether you cry or laugh, you only get one audition for graduation. There are no redos. 

The only way to perform the best song on stage is to do steady, constant practice in the shadows. You repeat listening to the same song, perform it, and raise the quality.

Now, try performing your song as if you're on stage. Try to find any faults, crush them, and prepare for the real deal. Got it?!

This is the final lesson. Get your head in the game!

S RANK

Syo Kurusu: You came this far. Hm? What's wrong, don't cry! It's too soon to get emotional. If you're gonna cry, cry when you listen to my singing.

Haruka Nanami: Emotions started welling up inside of me… I'll do my best to hold in the tears…

When I squeeze my eyes shut, Syo-kun pecks me on the forehead.

Haruka Nanami: Syo…kun.

He sees me stop crying from surprise and then makes a satisfied grin.

It's unfair that he's this cool. He's going to leave the country soon, but now I don't want him to leave…

But now that my tears have stopped, I must not cry again.

Syo-kun hasn't talked with Kaoru-kun after that. Now he's preparing to go on stage for the graduation audition.

Once this ends, he'll leave the country to undergo surgery.

I don't want to think of a situation where the surgery fails, but…

This may be the last time I see Syo-kun sing.

I know I shouldn't be thinking that, but I couldn't shake my worry.

Syo Kurusu: It's time for my performance.

Haruka Nanami: Yeah…

Syo Kurusu: Why do you look so gloomy, idiot? You aren't thinking of something ominous, are you?

He pokes me on the forehead.

Haruka Nanami: I'm sorry.

Syo Kurusu: Sheesh…

Syo-kun gently embraces me.

Syo Kurusu: … I was told this a long time ago, but… I was like a light bulb that's about to go out.

Haruka Nanami: Huh…?

Syo Kurusu: That I was shining brightly right before burning out… and I thought that was fine.

I thought that I needed to shine as brightly as possible because I didn't know when I was going to go out, but I wasn't satisfied with just that…

After I met you, I began wanting more.

I want to keep shining by your side… That's why I won't give up on myself or my destiny…

This isn't the end. This is the beginning of my heroic saga!

Haruka Nanami: Syo-kun…

Syo-kun grabs both of my shoulders and looks into my eyes.

Syo Kurusu: Take a good look at how heroic I am!

He kisses me on the forehead.

With a grin, he runs to the stage.

Chapter End

[magpiefngrl]

congratulations on finishing 9 1/2 days! What was the most challenging scene to write and why? What did you learn by writing this story? Do you have a favorite line or lines?

Hello!

Thank you, Starry! What great questions! You've given me a lot to think about.

So, most challenging scene of 9 ½ Days... It took me such a long time to write this fic that I can't quite remember if I found a specific scene particularly hard. What was hard was the middle of the fic in general, esp when HD are at the cottage. That's when they get to know each other, they become intimate, and also Draco is beginning to let go of his bigotry. There were some dialogues that I really wanted to get right so I spent ages on them. That part had to show the progress of their relationship while moving the plot forward at the same time. Finding that balance wasn't easy. Also, one of the hardest aspects was making sure that Draco's change of beliefs came across as realistic, gradual, and convincing.

All of these things were challenging because they required a lot of attention to detail. They're all about slow, incremental change that happens organically. The dialogue had to be just right, for example. Each drarry scene had to give us a little more: a song, a kiss, a touch, sex. In the middle of the domestic moments, I needed a reminder of the war, a vision, something to keep the plot fresh in the readers' minds. All of that required constant revisions. It's my most heavily edited story to date. I revised incessantly.

I learned... gosh I learned loads. I learned that I can get so dispirited with my writing that I get stuck to the point that I'm unable to get out of the mire. I learned that I can get out of the mire. I learned that making things harder for one's characters makes for great stories. I learned that a reliable plotting technique for me, a pantser, is to think "what else can go wrong now?". I learned that when I pull my punches I regret it. I learned that I can lose my writing confidence but that I can find it again. I learned to ignore some of the pressure that's in my head mostly. I learned to craft better sentences.

I have a few favourite lines. Some of them had come to me very early in the process and waited patiently for years for me to put them in the fic. "Everything hurts but you" is one of them. The "It was night and it was different in the night — their edges disappeared and they became ghosts, echoes of who they were, but also true distillations of themselves: distillations of despair and loneliness and ardent, burning desire." was possibly the first line I wrote and gave me the vibe I was looking for.

Other lines happened in editing; a description or turn of phrase that pleased me, like: "A few freckles spread over his cheekbones; his eyes were a piece of the sky, infinite and impossible, and Harry finally had a name for the swelling in his chest: he was in love."

There are some more but I'll stop here. Thank you for the thoughtful questions!

[ivelovedhimthroughworse]

Get To Know Me

Thanks for the tags: @nausikaaa, @captain-aralias, @raenestee, @angelsfalling16, @you-remind-me-of-the-babe, @aristocratic-otter, @bookish-bogwitch and @fight-surrender

Relationship Status:

Happily in a relationship with someone I've known for more than half my life. We were friends for six or seven years, maybe, before having our "something to talk about" epiphany. 

Favorite Colour: 

Red. (For clothes and possessions)

Favorite food:

I used to be a butter and cheese enthusiast, but sadly, no longer. 

So my favorite food is bread. Fresh, fluffy, yeasty, yum. And dark chocolate. 

Chocolate chip cookies (made with dark chocolate and margarine) are my favorite dessert. 

Song stuck in your head:

There's a song called "Whispers of the Heart" that's been haunting me nonstop for three days. I think it has the lyrics, "country roads, take me home".

Why is this in my head? Remember @foolofabookwyrm-activated made the top tier Rick Roll playlist? There was an orchestral version by Vitamin String Quartet. I was up late on Saturday night editing my chapter and thought I'd check out more of their instrumental pop covers. The last song before I went to bed was Whispers of the Heart and my brain got stuck on loop and I fell asleep with it and woke up with it and here we are today, despite the fact that I only know maybe eleven words of the lyrics. 

Someone in my house is singing Sink the Bismark, so that may dislodge and become the new earworm winner (Please please please).

Last thing you googled:

Lyrics to Sink the Bismarck by Johnny Horton

Lots of Victorian period photographs and engraving for COTTA, including but not limited to period ladies' glasses, ladies' hairstyles for curly hair, cross-dressing and long hair for men

Time:

16:04pm

Dream trip:

Costa Rica. Especially for a tree top adventure. Or hang gliding. 

Last book you read:

Sharkmartini's fanfic series On the Relativity of Time. Okay, it's not the last book, but I read this and love it and just keep thinking about it.

Last book you enjoyed:

I enjoyed rereading Boyfriend Material to get ready for the release of Husband Material. I think I liked it better this time than the first time. 

Last book I hated reading:

I didn't hate it, but I rolled my eyes a lot through Dangerous Alliance: An Austentacious Romance  by Jennieke Cohen. It seemed every chapter had this same sentence, "She bit her lip." Although occasionally she bit the inside of her cheek. But I kept reading anyway and tried to figure out what made the phrase so jarring and how this author could have rephrased it to be less repetitive.

Favorite thing to cook/bake:

I love cooking and baking. Right now I'm learning a lot about vegetarian cooking. One major difference is that you need a lot more spice and aromatics to make up for the loss of meat flavour. My spice cabinet is getting more interesting.

Favorite craft to do in free time:

I doodle. All the time and everywhere. Pencil and pen doodles cover the margins of my notebooks and bills and any scrap paper. As a hobby, I like painting. I'm handy with most types of crafts. And when the temperature drops I like to have a knitting project to keep my hands busy. 

Most niche dislikes:

Blerg. I must have some. I'm sure I thought of one. What was it? 

Is it niche to get mad at people who are not celiacs and want to cut bread out because someone told them that it will solve every health problem? Bread is glorious. I'll never let you say mean words about my good friend, bread.

Opinion on circuses, now and in history:

If I'm going to spend my money, it's not going to be on a circus. I'd rather go to see live music, or watch a play or musical. I'd enjoy a drag show or maybe burlesque. I'd even take the opera or ballet before the circus.

Circuses in history have been abusive to animals. Who's going to have a positive opinion about that?

Do you have a sense of direction, and if not what is the worst way you’ve gotten lost: 

I've got a fairly good sense of direction. I like maps, but not so much GPS. If I use GPS directions then my brain stops making a mental map. I've gotten lost mostly because I tire of taking the same route and will mix things up at random.

Most of the time I enjoy getting lost, so I had to really think of a worst time. Okay, once I was driving to my aunt's cottage and everyone else in the car was sleeping so I decided to get off the highway and take a scenic route. I got hopelessly lost and was out of cell range. I made it there more than an hour late and tired and frazzled while the other car occupants were refreshed and ready to go. Ugh. 

Tagging in some creative folks: @stardustasincocaine @ic3-que3n @takitalks @nick-eyre @cynopoe @stillmadaboutpetra @urban-sith

[shespeaksinsongs]

Private Spanish Lessons | Fred x Reader

A/N: I can literally only wish for this. My writing is turning me into a Fred girl, low-key. Enjoy! <3

Summary: Fred gets frustrated while trying to learn Spanish to impress his girlfriend Y/N's parents.

Warnings/content: Fluff and kissing <3 Spanish phrases, Fem!Reader

Word count: 882 words

masterlist | request form | hhm celebration schedule

"Okay," Y/N giggled as her boyfriend tickled her sides so she'd lean into him more. "Freddie, stop!" Y/N laughed, whispering a faint "I can't breathe," her smile as wide as his. Fred retracted his long arms to his sides, bending down to give Y/N a sweet kiss on the forehead. "Thank you." Y/N smiled.

Fred nodded promptly. "You were saying, my dear?"

"I was saying, translate this sentence into English. And don't forget the j's sound like h's." Y/N warned, holding up a whiteboard she'd hastily written on.

Y/N had been trying to teach Fred Spanish for the past few days, seeing as he would be meeting Y/N's Spanish-speaking parents the following week. Although it didn't really matter to Y/N's parents if her boyfriend spoke Spanish or not, Y/N thought it would be a nice gesture, and Fred was willing to learn.

Yo tengo el mejor novio del mundo. It read, which translated to, "I have the best boyfriend in the world."

Fred took a moment, stroking Y/N's arms, resting his chin on the crown of her head. "Well, I know what that means." Fred said, pointing to the word novio, adorned with black lead hearts around it, courtesy of his girlfriend.

"And what does it say?" Y/N smirked, turning herself around to look in the redhead's light brown eyes.

"Boyfriend." Fred rolled his eyes playfully, laughing at the pleased look on his girlfriend's face.

"Yep, good job, baby." Y/N said, cupping his face with both hands to press a sweet and gentle kiss on Fred's lips.

He smiled as Y/N turned back to look at the whiteboard, waiting patiently for Fred to get the rest of the sentence so he could earn his reward. A few seconds passed, and Fred huffed a sign of annoyance.

"Are you stuck, cariño?" Y/N asked, twiddling with Fred's fingers that softly rested on her tummy.

"Yeah." Fred said, his voice a little deeper, expressing frustration. "What does this word mean?" He pointed at another word that he was sure he and Y/N hadn't gone over - mundo.

"It means world." Y/N answered, enjoying the safety of Fred's long legs around her body.

"Ah, so let me take a guess at what the sentence means." Fred said, his tone more lively now. Y/N turned around to look at her handsome boyfriend, not expecting the smug grin he wore on his face. "It means I'm your world."

Y/N laughed, squinting her fingers to show how close he was. "Almost, baby." She said, watching his pretty face fall to a frown. "It's okay, we can try again. You're going to get this, I promise." Y/N comforted her boyfriend, shifting, so her head was lying on his lower abdomen. Her arms were tightly wrapped around his waist.

"No, I won't, Y/N/N. We've been studying for days, and I can't remember anything." Fred said sadly. "Why don't you just give up on me? Will it matter much to your parents if I don't-"

"Don't even think about finishing that sentence." Y/N brought a finger to Fred's lips to silence him. "My parents will love you either way. I'll love you either way." Y/N said, making Fred smile preciously as Y/N played with the bangs growing around his forehead. Y/N made a mental note to take him to get a haircut before he met the parents. "But connecting through Spanish… is so beautiful to me." She laced her fingers with her boyfriend's. "How about we just try for one more hour, and if you don't get it by then, we can move on and go buy some ice cream and catch a movie at Hogsmeade or something?" Y/N beamed, her eyes hopeful.

"Okay." Fred smiled. "For you." His lips kissed the tip of Y/N's nose, her favorite type of kisses from him.

Y/N turned back around. "So, which words do you know here?" Y/N asked, her voice as delicate as possible.

"Hm." Fred took a moment to think, not letting his frustration resurface again. "Well, I know boyfriend, world, and best."

Y/N nodded, feeling her heart swell with pride. "That's right, mi vida. Do you want me to help you out a little more, or do you wanna try to get this one on your own?"

"No, I got this one." Fred said, stroking Y/N's hair. "I… have the best boyfriend… in the world?" Fred guessed, not even really realizing what he said.

Y/N turned around, grinning happily. "Yes, I do." She said, turning her body to sit on her boyfriend's waist, positioned to face his face.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm amazing; But I do believe I haven't been given my prize yet..." Fred joked, his eyes shining bright. He strung some giggles from Y/N, who leaned in to press several kisses around his face, teasing him before she finally kissed his lips. Y/N felt Fred's smile through the kiss, bringing her arms up to lock them around his neck. Fred gently pushed Y/N's head down to his chest, letting her rest her mind.

"Mi corazón." Y/N whispered, pressing another kiss to his ear.

"Mi bebé." Fred replied sleepily, feeling his eyelids droop down. Y/N smiled to herself at the knowledge that she had never taught Fred that word, which meant that he'd been learning Spanish all on his own.

[katnissmellarkkk]

Okayyyy here comes the next chapter ! Number .... lemme look. Okay, number six! 🥳🥳🥳

And yes, my thoughts as usual will be a messy, very Everlark-biased and full of typos. Letsss gooooo 🥰🥰🥰

Is this the first time Katniss and Peeta have been to their floor or is this just the most opportune time to explain and introduce the Tribute Center living quarters?

Also why are they called tributes anyway? That word suddenly seems weird to me after nine years... 🤔🤔🤔

“I've ridden the elevator a couple of times in the Justice Building back in District 12. Once to receive the medal for my father's death and then yesterday to say my final goodbyes to my friends and family” .... 😶😶 so only good memories and connotations to elevators then, huh?

“The walls of this elevator are made of crystal so that you can watch the people on the ground floor shrink to ants as you shoot up into the air.” My mind is just imagining the elevator in Andrew Garfield and Emma Stone’s Spider-Man movies 🤗.

“It's exhilarating and I'm tempted to ask Effie Trinket if we can ride it again, but somehow that seems childish” this is so cute and innocent omg. Katniss, like I said in my last chapter blog, still has some childlike innocence left in her 🥺🥺🥺. I’m a sad.

Also excuse the unnecessary extra gif use but 🤭🤭🤭

Oh wow, so Haymitch hasn’t been around since they were on the train? No wonder neither Katniss nor Peeta fled they could trust him for basically the entirety of the first book. 😐😐😐

You know it’s bad when Effie being around feels like a blessing to Katniss. Girl has more restraint than me, I’d have ripped off this woman’s janky wig by now without remorse. 🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️

Effie acts like they’re her purebred show dogs. I know I know how is this news, that’s a blatant fact. The movies really softened her up tho for the general audience. And I bleed the movies and books together more than I should 😔😔😔

Well at least she’s made herself useful, trying to get Everlark sponsors ... even if it’s ultimately to benefit herself above anyone else .... 😤

Effie calling Twelve barbaric while she’s preparing them for the slaughter isn’t even ironic it’s like literally just brainless. Johanna probably had the nickname floating around for a lot of people before she officially knighted Katniss with it 😭

“Everyone has their reservations, naturally. You being from the coal district.” Is this how they refer to Twelve? So basically if a district makes a better item, it’s a more worthy one in the Capitol’s eyes? So essentially, if District Eight made like diamonds or pearls or whatever then it would be more worthy? So are the districts assigned their numbers (one, two, three, four, etc) based on their order of importance to the Capitol’s lifestyle? I always thought it was based on their distance in relation to the Capitol? Okay so I didn’t really pay much attention to these facts previously when I read these books ok look away I’m an idiot

Omg 😭😭😭😭 Effie is such an idiot. But the coal turns to pearls thing is my favorite line from her only because it serves as the cutest inside joke when Peeta makes a callback to it in Catching Fire and Finnick is just like “why are these two teenagers so stupid who did I ally with? 🥵😳🥵😳🥵”

“I wonder if the people she's been plugging us to all day either know or care.” After reading Songbirds and Snakes, I’m sure they don’t have a clue, boo. 😑😑😑😑 although not everyone was an idiot back then ... maybe Snow is putting lead in the drinking water?

“But don't worry, I'll get him to the table at gunpoint if necessary.” I know she’s trying to help and I know we say this kind of thing today, but considering this is two kids she’s well aware will be heading into a death match this is just bad wording I know surprise surprise 🙄🙄🙄😬😬😬😬

“Although lacking in many departments, Effie Trinket has a certain determination I have to admire.” Katniss really does see the best in people. What’s sad, y’all, is I think Katniss unconsciously really tries to like people and that’s why she has her guard up so high. Because the softer you are, the easier people will step all over you. Terrible phrasing here, Samantha, I’m so sorry to any of my readers ... okay now that sounded arrogant, implying I have readers 🤭🤭🤭🤭🤣😅🤣😅🤣😅

“My quarters are larger than our entire house back home.” Omg? I mean, yes, I knew this already obviously no duh but like also. Just the fact that three people live in a space smaller than a bedroom and bathroom arena is saddy sad sad. Also do they have indoor plumbing in the Seam or is their backyards just full of—okay, I’ll see myself out. 😶🤭😅🙃

“The shower alone has a panel with more than a hundred options you can choose regulating water temperature, pressure, soaps, shampoos, scents, oils, and massaging sponges.” I’m just imagining a Spongebob scene ngl.

I’m sorry there’s so many gifs this time around it’s probably taking us out of the reading headspace I’ll never do it again 😩😩😩😩 I talk like I have a class of people listening to me 🤭🤭🤭

“Instead of struggling with the knots in my wet hair, I merely place my hand on a box that sends a current through my scalp, untangling, parting, and drying my hair almost instantly” I need this someone invent this NOW my brush is yanking out my hair 😔😩

“I program the closet for an outfit to my taste.” ‘Yes, Alexa, I’d like a hunting jacket, some boots and a green shirt. Yes, it can be brown.’

“You need only whisper a type of food from a gigantic menu into a mouthpiece and it appears, hot and steamy, before you in less than a minute.” I like this idea because it means that Peeta could order hot choccy to comfort Katniss after her nightmares in Catching Fire from the comfort of her their own bed. 🤗🤗🤗 also I want this for myself. The bad people are giving my greedy self ideas look away everyone 😬

“I walk around the room eating goose liver and puffy bread until there's a knock on the door.” 🤢🤢🤢🤢 Of everything you could have chosen, child, this is what you decided on? Someone help my girl and her rotten tastebuds now.

“Effie's calling me to dinner. Good. I'm starving.” Baby, you were just eating. She’s so nutritionally messed up. 😔😔😔

Katniss trying wine 🥳🥳🥳 she’s so funny, trying to find a way to improve the taste 😅. She’ll make a good taste tester for her baker husband one day.

Hahahaha Katniss not liking the feeling and judging Haymitch for always being tipsy. Also this is sad because she ends up addicted to morphling later one which is far worse than a little wine.

I’m glad to know Baked Alaska survived the apocalypse 😅🥳

Katniss just constantly trying to decipher the recipe of every meal and how to recreate it reads cute on a surface level but it’s actually so tragic because everything to this girl is based around food. Like even more than is typically noticed. They really should have given a hint at this in the first movie. Good thing she marries a man who can always keep her full.

I’m just forever side-eyeing you, Gare Bear.

That’s Gary Ross for the confused kids in the back.

Why does Katniss yelling mid-sentence, “oh! I know you!” add to her innocence? 🥺 it’s because she was overwhelmed by all the food and new luxuries she’d never even been able to imagine ... and also this is pre her first games so she’s still got some childhood left in her 😩😔

I wonder how Lavinia felt seeing Katniss volunteer and knowing she’d be her Avox? I wonder if she, like Cinna, somehow volunteered to be her Avox?

I mean ... talk about convenient placement that this specific girl was assigned to Katniss’ district—oh wait, y’all, I just caught myself. She’s from Twelve. She was assigned to Twelve’s tributes because she’s from there, duh. I’m such an airhead omg just call me Effie.

Don’t you actually dare.

“When I look back, the four adults are watching me like hawks.” Meanwhile, Peeta is just like 😬😬😬 eating his dinner.

Actually, ngl, this could be such a reach and it probably is but like maybe Peeta sensed a confrontation coming and, because of his implied upbringing, he naturally becomes silent or makes himself invisible when trouble starts looking like it’s gonna arise. 🥺🥺🥺 I don’t know why I say these things I’m just hurting my own feelings but ya know the drill. I thought it so I said it.

Why is Effie yelling at Katniss for saying she knows the Avox girl like omg overreaction much? And I know, the sky is blue 🙄🙄🙄 she’s prejudiced against basically everyone, I know, I know

Rip her wig off, Katty Deen 🤗🤗🤗

Oh I stupidly forgot that Avoxes are supposedly known by everyone to be traitors or criminals. So I suppose this isn’t Effie’s worst offense but I’m keeping a tally anyways

Katniss is blaming her stuttering on the wine but my girl just has social anxiety 😔😔😔

Peeta coming in with a save 😭😭😭 he’s already trying saving his girl 🤧

Alsoooo the unspoken friendship, the covering for the other and teaming up against the adults, is still riding high and going strong here 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰 look away, y’all, the shipper comments are coming in strong

Also why is this the first real interaction with Peeta in this chapter yet? My baby needs more page-time 🤭🤭🤭

“Delly Cartwright is a pasty-faced, lumpy girl with yellowish hair who looks about as much like our server as a beetle does a butterfly.” Now why did Katniss just tear Delly to shreds for no reason at all 😭😭😭 this was a surprise assault on the poor girl 🙃🙃🙃🙃

“She may also be the friendliest person on the planet - she smiles constantly at everybody in school, even me.” Okay not to tie absolutely everything back to Peeta ... but to tie absolutely everything back to Peeta ... this description of poor, sweet Delly is actually indicative of Peeta’s character? Since Delly, we find out in Mockingjay, is Peeta’s childhood best friend, her personality being this sunny, kind, good-natured person tells us Peeta has always probably been somewhat like her and perhaps not as much like the other town kids Katniss implies to be stuck up or snooty. Maybe Katniss is just shady and deflects onto others 🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️.

Also the fact that she gives this like ... mean description of Delly but saw Peeta as popular, even though surely Delly and Peeta spent time at school together, implies further that Katniss did indeed harbor a secret crush on Peeta even before the reaping. A very mild comparison of his on her though, of course 😅😅😅

“It must be the hair” “something about the eyes too” their piggybacking on the other’s comments really is just chiefs kiss 😘🤗🥰🤧 FYI I know the saying is chefs kiss but I made the typo once a long time ago and decided to add it forever to my brand 🤗🙃🥳

Also though this Everlark interaction is reminiscent of when two kids get caught by their teacher goofing off in class and covering for each other 🥰 only it’s a lot more deadly stakes

“A few of the other couples make a nice impression, but none of them can hold a candle to us.” She’s so modest 🤧🤧🤧 her narration here and during the Tribute Parade just has the vibes of ... well .... sorry in advance

Haymitch’s comment “Just the perfect touch of rebellion. Very nice” leads me to think he and Cinna and maybe Portia were always in cahoots about the rebellion even before Katniss and Peeta came along and well ... lit their match on fire 🥁🤗🤣🤭

Katniss is like “rebellion??? Rebellion where??? What’s that you old people speak of???” And yet, girlfriend goes out to the woods and hunts illegally every day of her life 🤣🤣🤣🤣.

“But when I remember the other couples, standing stiffly apart, never touching or acknowledging each other, as if their fellow tribute did not exist” too lazy too look it up but there’s a quote from Ballad about Lucy Gray and Jessup being distinguished by their visible friendship too that set them apart from the other tributes.

Either Suzanne thought of drawing a nice parallel showing what a failed Everlark attempt looks like, because I firmly stand by the fact that without their real feelings behind their act, even Katniss’ unconscious ones, they wouldn’t have pulled it off, or Suzzie just reused her own content. I prefer the former but I think it’s probably the latter 🤭🤭🤭

“Now go get some sleep while the grown-ups talk." I know Haymitch is being facetious here but this quote reminded me of the fact that the movies would have hit differently if they’d cast actual sixteen year olds in the roles.

“When we get to my door, he leans against the frame, not blocking my entrance exactly but insisting I pay attention to him.” This is such a flirty, high school boy pose, you cannot convince me otherwise 😭😭😭

Also I definitely feel like Peeta is getting more and more confident here because he’s oblivious to Katniss’ inner monologue as much as she is his actually we all are his sadly and he probably thinks she’s starting to like him 🤧🤧🤧

“So, Delly Cartwright. Imagine finding her lookalike here." 🤣 He honestly cracks me up idk why this line isn’t even special or that great. He’s just so ... subtly nosy / funny. Which brings me to that quote from Mockingjay where Katniss talks about his sense of humor because it’s one of the things she loves most about him 😭😭😭

But he’s like, “I can keep a secret, Katniss, tell me who that tongueless chick is to you 😬”

Katniss stop talking about debts, friends cover for the other all the time 🙄🙄 I know it’s in her character stop yelling at a fish for swimming that’s not a real phrase I know that too

Okay first of all, they’re about to share a secret 🥰🥰🥰🥰. My shipper goggles are on tight and obstructing my vision. I know this and am proud 😬🥳🤗

And secondly, “Maybe sharing a confidence will actually make him believe I see him as a friend.” Hey, butthead, you two are already friends. She doesn’t even recognize that the girl who constantly sits with her, talks to her, eats with her and trades with her is her friend either though, I’m shocked she calls Gale her friend

Does Peeta get to know Cinna too? I don’t think so but it’s mentioned now a couple times in this chapter alone that Peeta has interacted with Cinna. Katniss never interacts or has a conversation with Portia.... then again, is that even surprising? Katniss isn’t ... what you would call ... social. Hashtag relatable.

Awww, they’re communicating so effectively together 🥰😭🤧🥳

Also rooftops belong to Everlark only 😍😊😉 I mean, seriously, Katniss never goes up on a rooftop with anyone else. Besides Haymitch in the first movie but we ignore.

“Electricity in District 12 comes and goes, usually we only have it a few hours a day.” Earlier she said the Seam didn’t often have electricity, in particular, so either she’s not specifying her section of the district anymore or Suzanne is backtracking.

“But here there would be no shortage. Ever.” I’ve had two power outages recently so clearly the Capitol isn’t based on us currently today then 😐😐 I’m just joking ok

“I asked Cinna why they let us up here. Weren't they worried that some of the tributes might decide to jump right over the side?” .... boyfriend, where does your mind go sometimes? Peeta’s darker than we realize, y’all 🤭🤭🙃🙃

“He holds out his hand into seemingly empty space. There's a sharp zap and he jerks it back” between this and Catching Fire, Peeta is addicted to getting shocked by forcefields 🤧🤧🤧

“I wonder if we're supposed to be up here now, so late and alone.” If this was a romantic drama or comedy, that line would have meant something a lot more fun 😒😔😬😉😏

“On the other side of the dome, they've built a garden with flower beds and potted trees.” Is this meant to resemble Snow’s grandmother’s garden???? Like he had them put a garden there to like ... put a piece of his Grandma’am in the games? Idk this made zero sense it was a stupid thought

Two people in a garden at night, with wind chimes, sounds romantic in any other context. 🥺🥺

Ummm does everyone in the entire district know Katniss and her father used to hunt together?

Oh nevermind, Lavinia is not from District Twelve. My bad, guys. I should go up and edit my previous thoughts but that’s a lot of work. 😅😅😅

Katniss, stop being so hard on yourself. You and Gale were kids. 😣😣

Ummm, Katniss for a girl always complimenting Peeta’s storyteller, you’re pretty good at painting a picture yourself...

Peeta noticing she’s shivering 🥰🥺

He gives her ... his jacket 😭😭😭😭 such a romantic troupe Samantha, get over it there’s literally children dying

Oh wow, Lavinia was from the Capitol originally. Hmm, it is sus now that she got District Twelve this particular year.

But also 🤧🤧🤧 “he secures a button at my neck.”

His hands .... are .... often .... at her .... neck .... 😶😬 .... look away, y’all

Oh wow, Katniss is over here thinking, “who’d leave the Capitol if they were from here???” And Peeta’s like instantly, loudly, without hesitating, “well I would 🙋🏼‍♂️”

Hot take, y’all ready? Peeta was a bigger rebel than Katniss from the start. At least internally.

Awww, Peeta is so jealous 😭😭😭😭 and kind of nosy 🤭🤭🤭

Katniss : “me and Gale are not related” Peeta : “😬🙃😭😩😶”

“I'd set out to tell her I was sorry about dinner. [...] my apology runs much deeper. [...] I let the Capitol kill the boy and mutilate her without lifting a finger. Just like I was watching the Games.” I feel like this is actually a good comparison though, because of you grew up in a society where you have to watch kids die, your whole entire life you’ve watched it in a glorified television show, you would be really desensitized to it...

“You don't forget the face of the person who was your last hope.” Here she’s talking about Lavinia but it applies to Peeta too. Katniss was Lavinia’s last hope and she feels like she let her down but Peeta was her last hope once and he came through. And, as she said in chapter one, she’ll never forget him for it. And for other things too. Later on. 😏

Of course my last bullet point was focused on Everlark 🤣 is anyone surprised you shouldn’t be we all knew who this post was written by right? 😅

And once again, if too made through this marathon, congratulations 🥳🥳🥳🥳 maybe next chapter I’ll talk less not likely though so don’t count on it 😅

[blxxdyvalentine19xx]

I lost my dick 🍆

Mod Sun x Fenix (ftm character)

Warnings: light smut, swearing, mentions of ice dick.

**I almost named myself Fenix when I came out as ftm in high school, I found it cool that Fenix is the name of a character in Downfalls High**

Fenix was frantically searching across every possible space in his boyfriend's house that he could have possibly left his packer. Being neuro divergent and a trans male made for interesting times and weird phrases. "For fucks sake! Where the hell did I leave it this time?" He half growled; looking up when he felt Derek's hands on his shoulders. "What?"

"Take a breath and chill out for a second" Derek ran his hands over Fenix's shoulders lightly and brought his boyfriend into a hug. "What did you loose this time?" He asked softly; carding a hand through his boyfriend's hair.

Swallowing his pride; Fenix shook his head, hiding it in Derek's hoodie. "I lost my dick" he mumbled quietly; slipping his arms around the taller man's neck.

The fact that his boyfriend is transgender excaped his mind, so the sentence caught him of guard "how...what...huh?" His brows furrowed in thought as he tipped Fenix's head up. "How in the hell..." Derek hesitated; "are you high?"

Fenix punched Derek's shoulder lightly; rolling his eyes and grinning. "Not high just trans" he teased; kissing his boyfriend's cheek. "I really don't know where I left it this time" Fenix rarely broke composure enough to ask Derek; asking his boyfriend was a last ditch effort.

"Oh right, you're not cis" Derek smiled as Fenix punched at his shoulder. "Of course you don't" he kissed the man's forehead and thought for a moment. "Did you look in the freezer? You've found it there before." Derek's hand grazed over the small of Fenix's back.

Hanging his head; Fenix sighed and shook his head. "Don't remind me; I still don't know how that happened." He blushed before slipping out of Derek's arms. "But yes, I did check the freezer" even then there was a good chance he probably looked right at it and missed it.

Colson was over at Mod's working on a few songs with his friend when he made a bee line to the freezer after a popsicle. "For God's sake" he said when he looked up; met with a very realistic but silicone looking dick. "Fenix, think I found your dick, buddie" Colson ruffled a hand through his own unruly bleach blonde hair.

Looking up from the piece he was working on; Fenix blinked a few times, his tongue in his cheek as he let go of a defeated groan. "You probably did, I kind of lost it." He mumbled, looking at the rapper. "At least I know where it is now"

Hearing what Colson said; Derek chuckled and smiled. "That seems to be a regular thing now, isn't the first time." He texted out a message to Fenix reading 'leave it, might be of use later 💦'

"Somehow I believe you Mod" Colson shrugged and got himself a blue raspberry popsicle and Mod a green one, he needed a sugar fix and this would have to suffice.

Reading the text his boyfriend sent him; Fenix's eyes drew up towards his boyfriend. Raising an eyebrow; he shook his head flipping Derek the bird. "Maybe, depending on time that is" Fenix grinned as he jumped from the stool he was sat on and went over to Derek. "You dirty little fucker" he mumbled into the man's ear as he ran his hands into Derek's hair.

"Trust when I say I'll make time" Derek hummed; slipping a hand into the back pocket of Fenix's jeans. "Not my fault it feels good taking it up the ass." He mumbled into a kiss and squeezed his boyfriend's ass. "May as well take advantage of the unconventional idea"

Coming back In after a successful day in the studio; Derek smiled as he found Fenix on the couch focused on an episode of 'Shameless'. "Hey" he mumbled; slipping his arms around Fenix's neck from behind.

"Hey Der" he nuzzled close to Derek's arm. "What's up?" Fenix kissed Derek's wrist and looked up at his boyfriend. Pausing the show in the process.

"Mm a little horny" Derek's hand wrapped around his boyfriend's throat as he kissed Fenix. "Mind taking the top tonight?" He asked; nipping at the man's lip.

Mumbling something under his breath; Fenix hummed as Derek's grip tighted a little. "Not at all, baby" he kissed back and cupped the back of Derek's head. "Bedroom" Fenix caught a breath once Derek let go and bit his lip.

He nodded and let go of a breath as Fenix looked at him; the man's blue eyes dark in contrast to usual. Derek had found himself being more comfortable lately with not being as in control and reveled in how Fenix was able to make him love being submissive.

Letting the cold metal ball of his tongue ring dip into Derek's belly button; Fenix grinned as Derek was already writhing under him from being teased. "Barely touched you and you're a sweet mess already, baby"

"C'mere" Derek half whined; kissing Fenix lightly and humming into it as the man looked at him. "Do us both the favour and please fuck me" he mumbled into another kiss and squeezed at Fenix's shoulders as his (Derek's) boyfriend eased into him gently.

Biting back a blush; Fenix had the instinct to hide in his boyfriend's neck as Derek let out a sound between a moan and a hiss.

"No, no, you're not hiding" Derek spoke between a moan and a shiver. "Look at me, right here" he pulled his boyfriend's head back up and grinned as Fenix's cheeks were pink with a blush. "I don't care, you know it's of no difference to me, I love you and can't get enough of how you make me feel"

Feeling Derek's hand return to his neck; fenix nodded and kissed his boyfriend. "I know that" he mumbled and ended up somewhat laughing when Derek effortlessly rocked his hips and pulled him (Fenix) forward. Taking it as a cue to move; Fenix rolled his hips slowly.

Arching his hips; Derek bit his lip letting himself relax and focus on both the cold and the gentle rocking of Fenix's hips. "Fucking hell, yes" his breath shook as Fenix kissed him softly.

Hiding his face in the pillow; Fenix ended up throwing it at Derek as the latter peppered him in kisses and grinned basically praising him. "Not bad for me not being a top" he mumbled and trapped his boyfriend in a cuddle.

"You do alright for being a bottom" Derek kissed Fenix and ran his hand up the his boyfriend's back. "You get in your head too much about not thinking you're enough" he whispered; looking at Fenix who gave him a warning look.

"Force of habit" Fenix whispered back hearing Derek's words. "I always worry about not being enough" he raked his fingers along his boyfriend's chest and sighed. "You're so damned chill about it and I don't know how not to be worried about all the things I know won't happen" Fenix nuzzled close to Derek and smiled as he was pulled upwards so he was laying on top of his boyfriend.

Derek pulled Fenix on top of him and shifted so he was comfortable. "You're more than all that, baby" his hands ghosted the tonic Fenix's thighs. "You make me realize who my own insecurities are small compared to what you go through every day" Derek's finger ghosted the tattoo of what he now realized was the beach they went to on their first official date.

Fenix watched as Derek thumbed the tattoo on his (Fenix's) leg. "Got it after we called it a night, kells did it for me." He smiled and covered his eyes as Derek kissed it. "That's why it has your logo in the middle" Fenix relaxed when Derek looked up at him.

"I recognize my boy's work, he did a good job of it" Derek smiled up at Fenix and slipped a hand under his head. "I like it, you seemed like you felt free that day" he let his messy hair cover his eyes as Fenix's fingers ran through it. "He sees you like a little brother" Derek spoke and stuck his tongue out at his boyfriend. "He threatened to beat my ass if I fucked it up that night"

"He's done a few of mine actually" Fenix said; whilst playing with his boyfriend's hair. "Kells did this one the day I started T" he took Derek's hand and ran one of his boyfriend's finger along his (Fenix's) waist. "He said it's supposed to remind me what it took for me to get that far."

Definitions:

Packer: (silicone penis used by some frm transgender individuals, simillar to a dildo and can be used sexually if so desired)

Neurodivergent: an atypical neurological configuration, for example a person who has a developmental disorder and/or a mental illness. 

Cis: cisgendered - someone who is assigned male\female and identifies with their assigned gender.

[chaos-monkeyy]

Fanfic writing game, tagged by @atlantis-scribe and @frankthesnek ! Thank you both, this was fun 😁💙

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Name: Chaos!

Fandoms: too many several 🙈 most active lately in Stargate (Atlantis), but also currently watching SG1, and Loki (which I may or may not eventually write something for cause that ship ���👀 oh I see it 👀👀). Attached to, but currently or generally less active in, Thrawn, Stormlight Archive, Midsomer Murders, Dresden Files, the Witcher netflix series, and Assassin's Creed. Honourable mention to Good Omens too!

Two-shot: ...huh, y'know I think it's been awhile since I wrote a two-chapter fic? I used to do them more, probably, but I tend a lot more now towards either just one-shots, or two related one-shots but put in a series rather than a single work (cause then I feel simultaneously less pressure to Write More and finish a 1/? fic, but also avoid feeling like a one-shot is finished so I can't write anymore in that setting/verse/wtv). Most recent 2-part series is the ShepDex 💦 kink fics; most recent actual two-chapter fic was... Intoxicating for geraskier over a year ago, holy shit! Definitely have more in the 3-6 chapter range than true longfics, anyway.

Most popular multi-chapter: that's tough because 'popular' is affected by fandom size so damn much 😅 So I'll say it's probably something of a tie between Need (Thranto) and Stolen Moments (Geraskier)

Actual worst part of writing: getting way too hyper-focused on it when I didn't actually mean to, and discovering I've accidentally spent an entire day or weekend sitting at my desk writing random filth and turning into a screen-eyes zombie. Instead of leaving the house or doing all the real life things that really needed doing (like, yknow, actually showering and feeding myself and doing chores while I have the time 🙈😬)

How you choose your titles: It's almost always the second-last thing I come up with (the last thing being the bloody summaries. I usually have my damn tags figured out before the actual title 😂), and generally I just pick a single word or short phrase that kind of sums up the whole thing in some way. Often it's something that appears in the fic itself somewhere, one or more times, but not always.

Do you outline: Yes, just not always... physically? So like, Need and then Inflection Point have shown me that I can outline and that I really like it for anything actually plotty! For shorter fics or oneshots, I almost always still outline - but it often just stays in my head and isn't written down anywhere till I'm actually just writing the fic. And whether it's written down or a mental outline, I'd guess that I'm probably somewhere in the middle when it comes down to how much detail I do my outlines in. I generally like to know where I'm starting and where I'm ending (whether it's plot or PWP), with some little points I want to hit along the way (if it works). That gives me the flexibility to let things unfold naturally as I write, while also giving me a direction so I don't write myself into a corner too much. But if I over-outline, I often lose interest in actually writing the thing cause I... kind of already have. Or the whole thing winds up feeling too forced and awkward, particularly for smut.

Ideas you probably won’t get to but wouldn’t it be nice: oh jeez, so many. Too many. There are also things that sat in my ideas list for a long time and I thought I'd never get around to them, but then I did in the end, too? So... who knows with any of them 😅

Callouts @ yourself: Not everything has to be in full fucking detail, chaos. So often I write myself into a boring corner and get stuck until I finally remember I can just... have the thing (sex, it's usually sex) happen in vaguer or more emotional/sensation terms. Also I'm probably going to writer's jail for flagrant abuse of commas, semi-colons, grammatically-correct but overly long sentences.

Best writing traits: I make people feel things. I also like to think my pacing is pretty good in general, and I don't miss too many typos and shit. but there's always that ONE that gets away

Spicy tangential opinion: second person POV ("you") is awkward enough to read, writing it in past tense instead of present makes it extra weird 🙈

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I don't know who's already been tagged and who's actively writing/wants to talk about it these days 😅 So I leave it open to anyone who wants to do it, @ me so I can see 😁

[fangirlspammer]

Journey to the Past pt.3

This took awhile to write, but I'm pretty happy with it. I hope you are enjoying this😌

You had been pacing around your living room for half an hour now. Jack was still not home after that blowout back in her office nearly two hours ago. You knew she had work to do and probably needed to cool down before coming over, if she was still coming over. You had showered and made dinner, but still there was no sign of Jack not even a text. Just as you thought about giving up the door opened and you turned to face Jack.

"Jack," you stopped as she held up her hand and you couldn't read her expression. Was she upset with you? Had something happened in the case? Had Gibbs made things worse? All of these questions flooding your mind only made you more anxious.

Jack sighed and set down her coat and purse. "We need to talk," her voice sent chills down your spine and your stomach turned. Nothing good ever came from that sentence in a relationship.

"I shouldn't have called him out like that. It wasn't appropriate," you stepped in quickly.

"No, it wasn't, but that's not what we need to talk about," she shook her head and patted the seat beside her on the sofa.

You looked to her with a certain fear in your eyes, cautiously proceeding to her side. As you sat you looked at your hands that were fiddling in your lap. "Jack, baby, you're really starting to freak me out. Is this about us?"

Jack noticed the fear exuding from you and took your hand. "No! No, god no," she shook her head quickly. "I love you, Y/N," you felt yourself smile as she carried on. "I just needed to clear things up. Gibbs didn't end things with me," she sighed and ran her free hand through her hair.

You furrowed your brow as you listened to her. "I don't understand."

Jack began to chew her lower lip and get antsy in her seat. "Gibbs and I weren't a thing for a long time, despite what his team says," she started and stood up. Now she was the one who was pacing the room. "We flirted and spent a lot of time together, yes," she turned to face you and sighed. "One night, after things were starting to get serious, we found ourselves.." she squinted her eyes and tilted her head a bit, unsure how to phrase this. You nodded and she carried on, leaving you with the unsettling images of your girlfriend and your boss in bed together. "The next morning I told him things weren't going to work because I liked somebody else," she finally took a seat again and put her head in her hands.

You're eyes widened in realization of what she was getting at. "You mean you left him for me?"

Jack nodded, but retracted her response. "It wasn't me leaving him, Y/N. We weren't a couple."

"But you slept together," she nodded and you sighed. "He thinks it's my fault."

"No," Jack moved closer and pushed your hair from your face. "I talked to him tonight, and he knows where my head was at now. He's sorry for how he's treated you these past months."

You scoffed and rolled youreyes. "Gibbs apologized?" You couldn't help your skepticism on the subject. Special Agent, Leroy Jethro Gibbs was not one to apologise. He was barely one to stick around for a full conversation.

"Maybe not in so many words, but I know he is sorry," Jack laughed and you rolled your eyes with a little smirk tugging at the corner of your lips.

She leaned in to kiss your cheek, brushing her lips over it a few times before proceeding to your jawline. This lasted awhile before she captured your lips in a series of hungry kisses. Your stomach did flips and your heart raced at her touch. Your hand slid up her thigh and found its way behind her back. Nothing had ever felt as good as it did when Jack was in your arms.

"I made dinner," you whispered as you both pulled away for air. She arched her brow and you laughed at the cautious look that spread across her face. "I know, I know. We might have to order in."

"I'll eat whatever you made," she smirked and pushed loose strands of hair from your face. Her deep brown eyes glossed over with love and lust.

You found yourself unable to speak for a few moments, getting lost in Jack completely. You couldn't explain the feelings that arose inside of you whenever she was around, and when she was as close as she was now all hell broke loose within you. You shook your head of your devious thoughts before clearing your throat and letting out a soft laugh. "I won't make you do that to yourself. My cooking will probably put you up for a week," you laughed with more amusement in your tone.

Jack rolled her eyes and let out a sound that you swore sounded like an angel singing. "I'll risk it," she leaned forward and planted a soft kiss on your ruby lips once more. "Who knows, maybe I can have you for dessert?"

You felt your cheeks get hot and swore your face was the shade of a tomato. You absolutely loved when Jack was playful like this with you. "Maybe," you smirked and kissed her lips once more. "Maybe I'll even let you have seconds."

Soft giggles filled the room and you both found yourselves lost in yet another series of desperate kisses. Neither of you were ever able to keep your hands off of each other. Honestly you were amazed that you had managed to stay mostly professional at work. At least to the publics eyes you were.

*

*

Jack couldn't remember a longer 'hump day' in her life. The murder of Lieutenant Abigail Finnley was going on its third day of being unsolved. William Jenson was still a suspect even though NCIS had to release him due to lack of evidence, and Jack could only imagine the smug look he must of had on his face as he walked out. She had been over the files at least five times that morning alone, but she was getting nowhere. She tossed her pencil across the room in frustration just as the door open. She looked up and saw Gibbs standing there surprised after having to dodge a flying pencil.

"Have a new file for you," he walked in and shut the door behind him. He held out yet another boring beige folder and she took it with frustration.

"Just what I need. Another file to go over that'll lead me nowhere," she rolled her tired brown eyes, unamused.

Gibbs couldn't help the smirk that tugged at the corner of his lips when he saw the frustration written all over her. "Lesley Hangman, Lieutenant Finnley's best friend," he stated plainly.

Jack was flipping through the files now and looked up at Gibbs suddenly. "We already questioned her. Did you find something else?"

"Finnley filled a restraining order against her the week before she died."

Jack was intrigued. She adjusted her glasses and sat forward with curiosity. "Now why would you file a restraining order against your best friend?"

Gibbs shrugged. "That's where you come in, Jack," he sighed and started to leave, but he stopped at the door. "Y/N-"

Jack arched a brow and gave a little nod. "She'll be on her best behavior tomorrow," she assured him.

"Not what I was asking, Jack."

"I know," their eyes locked for a moment before she sighed, giving into his silent questions. "I told her everything, and we are fine." Gibbs nodded and just like that Jack was left to her own devices once again.

Jack looked down as her phone made a noise. A smile crossed her lips as she read the text.

Chinese takeout tonight. Any movie requests? (:

Surprise me baby. Can't wait to see you;) -J

*

*

You chuckled at the text you just received and licked the cookie dough off of the spatula. You began to wipe the counter and do the dishes as the cookies baked, filling the room with a rich sweetness. There was not much to do being stuck at home but cook and clean, and try not to focus too negatively on yesterday's events. You sighed and turned your music up to drown out your thoughts. You began to dance and hum to yourself. Jack would be home soon and you wanted her to enjoy the evening. This case was too personal for her, and you knew that the last thing she would want was to think about it all. The door opened, but you didn't hear it. You were too busy singing along to the music into a wooden spoon. Your hips swayed and you tossed you hair. A loud screech escaped your lips as you felt arms wrap around you from behind.

"Jack! I didn't even hear you come in," you tried to catch your breath as you turned in her arms. She chuckled and pecked your lips. "I wasn't expecting you so soon."

"We wrapped the case," she shrugged and kissed your nose again, giggling. "I'm sorry I didn't mean to scare you. You just looked so sexy I couldn't resist."

You rolled your eyes and smirked. She had an excuse for everything. Your brows furrowed when you realized what she had said. "You wrapped the case? Was it-"

Jack shook her head and sighed. "No, it wasn't Jenson. Turns out it was the best friend, Lesley Hangman. She and Finnley were more than friends, but when Finnley broke things off Lesley became obsessed with trying to get her back."

"And that's when Lieutenant Finnley filed the restraining order?" Your knowledge sparked Jack's curiosity and you giggled. "Bishop might have filled me in on a few details earlier."

Jack rolled her eyes and continued. "Yes, well Lesley came over to confront Abigail and things got heated. That's when she stabbed her," she sighed and let her body relax against yours, pressed against the counter. Your arms instinctively wrapped around her.

"Sounds like you need to put your feet up," you breathed out as she pressed against you. Your heart was racing. The things this woman did to you.

"Way up," she smirked playfully causing you groan.

She leaned closer, kissing along your jawline before dipping down to the curve of your collarbone. Your head tilted back instinctively and you swallowed hard. Your grip on the counter tightened as her lips trailed down your chest, but quickly made their way back to your neck. You could feel your legs getting shaky, and she must have too because her leg pushed in between yours and her hips held you in position. You let out another groan, this one more desperate than the last. You took a deep breath, but her scent was intoxicating.

Your hands ran up her back until they found their way into her beautifully, blonde, beach curls, and gave them a gentle tug. She gasped and looked into your eyes before you leaned forward to capture her lips in a heated frenzy of passion. You both wasted no time finding your way into each other's mouths, fighting for dominance, and before you knew it Jack was leading you to the bedroom. You didn't stop her as she kicked the door shut and laid you on the bed. All previous plans were out the window, and your focus was on the beautiful, half naked blonde straddling you now and kissing down your body.

"Y/N," Jack's voice was low and seductive as she inches closer to your thighs.

Her fingers latched under your panty line, but you pulled her back up to you and quickly flipped her over. "Jack," you groaned again. Her hands were pinned to the mattress as our straddled her now and dipped your head to kiss her passionately. "This is about you," you whispered and smirked. She let out that giggle that sent shivers up your spine. Your lips found hers again, and soon the room filled with soft moans and breathless panting. If only everyday could be this way.