#i'll figure out how to draw her face properly one day

[this-is-chaos-magick]

"who's your favorite marvel character?"

Me:

don't listen to a YouTube video explaining the nightmare of Mandela catalogue while drawing I can't stop looking behind my back and getting distracted 😭because I am so spooked by it but I can't turned it off because I can't draw anything without listening to wendigoon.

[the-sinful-voice-witch]

Crimes against Stephanie Brown:

Getting only 24 issues of her run as Batgirl. I wish she had more, after all isn't Cass getting now a new run as Batgirl again?

Not appearing at the boy wonder comic when it was specifically Robins related and instead they put Barbara as Batgirl (like if you wanted a Batgirl use the fucking Batgirl who used to be a Robin).

Not being included at birds of prey with Cass and Babs.

Getting 2 heroes team projects with her included rejected. (In one she was with Supergirl and Damian, denying us that is a hate crime)

Not appearing in Damian's drawing of people who loves him when she is canonically the first big sister figure he had and she helped him be a kid and have fun.

Getting her character denigrated by Tim's bisexual actions like: dumping her without giving her a reason or having a proper talk, ghosting her for months, only talk to her after their friends force him to do it and then without warning or asking her introducing his new boyfriend to her and make her react like a fujoshi 13 years old wattpad writter saying that "the best day ever" Is meeting her ex' new boyfriend in the most cringe way ever.

The time they tried to erase her time as Robin and Batgirl in the new 52 reboot

Only let her be Robin for 2 months and was fired for doing something every Robin has done more than once.

Dying so fast in DCeased when she became Damian's Robin and never coming back even after Taliah said she would use the Lazarus pit on her.

Not having a visual reaction of Selina, Cassandra, Dick and Babs to her being alive.

Jason not mentioning her to rub it on Batman's face when he came back to life for revenge or mentioning her to black mask, what a wasted opportunity!

Never had the realistic representation of the trauma she should have after being tortured by black mask.

Never hanging out properly again with huntress (well I think they were seen together again once but not enough), Supergirl, Black Canary or Green Arrow junior after the reboot.

The fact that in my opinion she never got a proper apology from all the people that wronged her and treated her badly, like a lesser fighter, like she was a bother, like she wasn't made for vigilante life, I think I saw Tim apologizing to her but it felt shallow.

Not showing us Tim visually crying for her death.

Completely ignore how was her very first interaction with Catwoman, in which Selina was extremely kind and sweet with her only to screw it in the second meeting in her run as Batgirl and later in the new 52 reboot making Selina be a jerk to her.

Making Alfred be cold and dry to her in their first interaction, yes he later cries on her death and then he is very happy when she comes back and later he stands up to her against Batman's stupid tests but it doesn't erase the fact that he was mean to her when he met her and I think that was out of character with Alfred.

Her teen pregnancy arc, some people might think this was a way to make her character more tragic and deep but that pregnancy arc didn't bring anything good to her character because it was all about Tim not her and it makes my blood boil. This arc was just a cheap "easy" Way to make Tim and Steph become closer in their relationship by making Tim be there for her and taking care of her even though he wasn't the father and help her and that and I suppose it was also to make more dramatic her death telling Batman that she had a daughter and Batman be all like: "I'll make sure the baby never has to ask for anything" And then Steph dies... Seriously this is the one thing I wish they could erase from canon FOREVER, making Steph go through that just to make her deepen her relationship with Tim only for getting killed off and eventually dumped with everything she already had on her plate was CRIMINAL

Jason not meeting her properly before the stupid new 52 reboot and still not having the trauma and dead Robin talk with her.

[television-overload]

fate is the handspike

(an X-Files ficlet)

[Read on AO3]

Summary:

Starting on February 23, 1964, Teena Mulder begins to worry about her young son. At first, she thinks maybe he's wishing for a little sister, a wish that will be granted very soon. But he insists the little girl he talks to is called Dana, and she's too little to play, but she likes when he reads his books to her.

(fic below the cut)

i.

At first, Teena thinks it's cute.

"She's just a baby, mommy, she can't play yet," he'd say.

"Oh, is that right?" she'd reply, indulging him in his childish fantasies. Perhaps this was his way of asking for a sister. The other moms in the neighborhood often urged her to give Fox a sibling, citing a child's need for company and social engagement, but Fox had always seemed so happy to play alone. She's not on the best of terms with her husband at the moment, either, which complicates things.

But then there's times when she sees Fox on the floor, legs splayed out before him as he recites his favorite picture books to his imaginary friend, and she wonders if she ought to be worried. Just a little.

Dr. Seuss, Curious George, Clifford the Big Red Dog... The boy has a photographic memory. Though he's too young to properly read, he has a grasp on the basic plots and recounts them in great detail, turning the pages as he goes.

"This one is called 'Where the Wild Things Are,' Dana," he says, because his friend's name—he insists—is Dana. He turns the book in his hand and shows the colorful illustration on the cover to a patch of carpet on the living room floor. "Don't worry, it's not scary," he assures her. Her. It. Whatever it is he's spent his days talking to since late February.

When he tells the story, he uses his own name, instead of 'Max.' That's how she'd always read it to him, and that's the only way he knows.

"And Fox told the monsters to be still!" he narrates with enthusiasm. "He used a magic trick and looked right in their BIG yellow eyes, and they were all scared. They said Fox is the most wild thing of all, and they made him king!"

ii.

There was one night when she'd woken to find Fox standing in the corner of his room, speaking softly to the wall.

"Shh, it's okay, Dana," he soothed in his little voice. "Here, I'll sing you a song. Twinkle twinkle little star...."

She never tells Bill what she's seen. He's always too busy to notice himself. But others know.

"He's quite an imaginative young fellow," Spender notes, taking a draw from his cigarette as Fox rolls around in the grass outside the house in Quonochontaug. Since "Dana" learned to crawl, he's been even more preoccupied than usual. He shows her all his toys, tells her the names of all his action figures. He announces to his mother one day that he's going to teach Dana how to walk. That she can only stand on her own for a little bit right now, but she doesn't cry anymore when she falls down.

Bill, if he ever catches wind of this, must think he's talking about one of the other kids from Teena's ladies' group. But there's no "Dana" in this neighborhood. Not on the Vineyard, either. She's checked.

iii.

The day she finds out she's pregnant, a part of her wonders. Though her knowledge of her husband's work is small, she knows enough to gather that things she might have thought impossible, could in fact be possible. Perhaps her son had been having visions of his baby sister, long before she was even conceived. Maybe it had simply been a sign that he would one day be a big brother. Soon.

She'd long since dispelled thoughts of ghosts and hauntings and exorcisms.

He tells Dana all about the baby in mommy's tummy. He giggles and makes silly faces, pausing in between sentences, which she gathers must mean his friend has developed the ability to speak.

"Mommy, she said my name! That's right! Fox! Fox!"

iv.

When Samantha is born, "Dana" seems to disappear overnight. This, at least, supports her theory that he had simply been preparing himself for a new sibling, and after a few years, she's completely dismissed the issue. Fox shows no other signs of strange or unusual behavior. He is nothing but a doting big brother, who occasionally gets annoyed by his freckle-faced kid sister, as any brother is wont to do. He reads to her, plays games with her, watches the television with her. They're two peas in a pod, and not once does the name "Dana" escape his lips. She is all but forgotten.

Until he's twelve years old. Samantha is gone, and Teena lacks the patience to deal with his questioning.

"Mom? Does the name 'Dana' mean anything to you?" he asks.

"What? Of course not, Fox, why would you ask such a thing?"

He looks down at his feet, shoulders slumping. "No reason. Forget I asked."

v.

When Fox lays awake at night, the bedroom next to his now dull and empty, he thinks he can hear a voice. It isn't Samantha's—though he'd thought so at first.

"By heaven, man," she reads, "we are turned round and round in this world, like yonder windlass, and Fate is the handspike. And all the time, lo! that smiling sky, and this unsounded sea!"

What does this girl know about fate? What does she know of this upside-down world?

"Read the next chapter, Dana!" he hears another girl's voice speak. The words are faint—muffled—like he's underwater. But her voice is clear.

He falls asleep, like most nights, listening to the tales of Ahab and Starbuck, and a great white whale.

-.-.-

Tag List ♡: @today-in-fic @agent-troi @baronessblixen @captainsolocide @cutemothman @deathsbestgirl @edierone @enigmaticxbee @figureofdismay @frogsmulder @hippocampouts @invidiosa @numinousmysteries @randomfoggytiger @skelavender @teenie-xf @thursdayinspace

[lynnlovesthestars]

Your masterlist says your requests are open so if you’re cool with it could I request a Karlach x reader where Karlach discovers the reader is ticklish and they’re embarrassed about it because they secretly like it?

omg hiii, OF COURSE I'D LOVE TO!

~♡~

Edit: damn I'm an idiot, right after i posted it i realized my brain played a trick on me and convinced me that the prompt was slightly different Tomorrow I'll try and write it again so I'll fill the request properly, sorry bit it's 3:00 am lol! For now I'll still drop the one i wrote..

Pairing: Karlach x reader.

Genre: fluff.

Warnings: just a little of insecurities

Synopsys: that laugh you hate.

AN: Post act 3, i didn't like the painful ending so i decided this is how i'll headcannon it

You swore this was heaven: laying next to Karlach as the linen sheet wrapped loosely around your bodies while you spent your time getting lost in each other.

At the end of your adventure together, you all deserved a break, and winter approaching Baldur's Gate was perfect for it.

You and Karlach had spent the first few days free from the illithid to find a tiny place to share, just the two of you as you figured out what to do.

Being the hero of Baldur's Gate had its benefits, and a spectacular discount for a house was one of them.

It was nice staying in the outer city, not too far from where Jaheira lived, so you could keep up with the antics of the harpers.

It was early, too early to get out and to start helping with the reconstruction of the city, so you did sleep in.

That's how you ended up there, Karlach hovering over you, and raking her nails along your skin.

She had been so touch starved that she'd spend days just feeling you close to her.

One morning she spent her whole time pressing sweet kisses all over your face, and caressing your cheeks, just for the sake of feeling you.

The way she giggled every time she'd realize she was truly able to feel you, was able to thaw even the coldest heart, you couldn't help but blush at it.

Her voice in the morning was unexpectedly sweet, low, just a mutter under the sheets as she held you close.

When Karlach's fingers reached your hips, and her nails started drawing incomprehensible patterns, you could feel your breath itch in your throat. Your body shivering wildly even at the smallest movement. A choked laugh escaped your lips as she looked at you surprised, yet not stopping.

"P-please stop" You tried to stop the laughter, concentrate on making your angrier face but to no avail.

"Oh what is it?" She taunted you playfully, her eyes wide and twinkling.

"Mh, is my princess ticklish?" She lowered just enough to peck at your lips without leaving your skin alone.

You wriggled under her touch, trying to escape as your expression would switch quickly between trying to be serious begging her to stop, and your uncontrollable laughter.

Don't laugh, Tav. Don't laugh. You repeat yourself trying to not embarrass yourself.

You could feel your stomach starting to hurt as the fit of laughter was almost impossible to stop, then Karlach suddenly stopped.

Her eyes softened as you laid under her, she barely held you as you regained your breath and turned your head away. From one part you wanted to be mad at her for not stopping, you HATED being tickled, from the other you shied away from the burning gaze.

If you didn't know any better, you'd think she was about to rip you apart.

Instead he eyes burned with something deeper, an affection so deep, that neither of you ever experienced before.

You both wanted to say something, but it was like the words stopped in your throats. What was lingering on your lips, those words you always feared to say, quickly became a scoff as you wanted to stir the conversation away from something you were not entirely ready for.

You kept your head away from Karlach's your arms quickly met on your chest, tightly folded.

You could feel her flopping on your side on the bed, poking your cheek just enough so you'd turn to stare at her.

She was about to ask you what was going on, if she hurt you, but you'd rather talk about the tickling problem than your feelings.

"I hate being tickled." Your brows furrowed, your face a weird mix between annoyance and the laugh that was yet to die completely. Karlach's face shifted at the speed of light. The worried look she had a moment before, made room for a bright smile.

"O c'mon, it's not that bad" She nudged lovingly, wondering whether she wanted to open her arms to you, or snuggle closer and rest her head on the nook of your shoulder.

"Mh, yes it is" You mumbled as you looked at the ceiling, it's true that you hated being tickled, but how could you be mad at such a dashing smile? You thought as you stared at the way the wood planks would be lined.

"And why would that be?" she asked, getting closer and closer by the second, until she was about to lay on you.

You wondered for a moment whether it was a good idea telling her, or if it would have made the thing just more embarrassing for you. You already wanted to hide under a rock, the idea that she heard your uncontrolled laugh, the one where you'd always end up snorting, made it even worse. Maybe taking the spot of a genie in a lamp was not so bad after all. You hated that laugh so much you could feel your stomach fighting already.

"..it's embarrassing" You admitted, your voice barely audible.

"Oh, no. I don't want to hear this excuse" Karlach sat up, shaking her head vigorously.

"It's not an excuse" You kept your arms crossed, but finally turned her way, your expression unreadable for a moment.

"Sure" She rolled her eyes. "And what is embarrassing about it?" She raised an eyebrow as she eyed you from top to bottom, or the closest thing the blankets allowed.

"The snorting" That's it, you wanted so badly to be a spellcaster, just enough so you could disappear and run away, and yet your bloodline was everything but magic inclined.

"Oh shush. Your laugh is adorable" She poked your cheek, as she already was sneaking next to you again.

An mhfp was the only sound you made as you wanted to say you didn't agree, but you already knew how it would go.

She didn't accept the idea that you didn't love something about you, and she would always do her best to prove you wrong. So for that time you skipped telling her, though it didn't matter. It was like she read your thoughts all the time, you could have sworn no one knew you like she did.

"That's it, I'm proving you are wrong" She jumped up again straddling your hips as her hands were already itching to tickle you, even saying it just as you thought she would,.

"Oh no you are not going to dare" You shook your head, trying hard to wiggle away again, failing miserably, again.

"Ah ah, you are not going anywhere" One of her hands reached for your fingers, interlacing it with hers before pulling it up just enough she'd be able to kiss your palm. And the back. And your knuckles. Just enough so you could lower your guard before letting it go and sticking again with her tickling.

This time she didn't give you time to fight the laughter, she giggled as you squealed under her touch.

Her smile was bright, like the light of Lathander. It was something that no matter how upset, sad or desperate you could be, it was always able to stir something in you, deep in your stomach, something that you couldn’t resist.

It was that smile that always coaxed you to do the dumbest things, to sleep in, to fight until the blood of your enemies covered your armors, to try and love yourself.

Cause no matter how much you'd hate you, Karlach was always there to guide you the right way. Showing you how pretty, how kind, and how cutely you laughed, always making sure that the bubbling feeling in your stomach would not die down.

Little did you know what the name of that feeling is.

[pyjamaart]

Year 4 of submitting art for the SiIvaGunner Art Gallery!! >:]

For the fourth time now, I can proudly present my entry for this years SiIvaGunner Birthday Gallery! I had to put up with a lot of obstacles this year, like starting in June when I normally always started in early May, my parents and my brother visiting during the exact time frame I wanted to work on this, a crippling addiction to playing Dragon Quest Monsters and many more.

But as you can see, I really locked in at the end and finished it exactly one day before the deadline (17th June).

Now to explain my vision for this piece: I'll have to admit, since starting my new job in February, I didn't have any time to keep up with the loads of SiIvaGunner rips that are uploaded each day, since I always listened to them at my old workplace while I took care of my mountains of scientific journals. At my new job, I don't have anything to do with journals anymore. I mostly talk to students at the counter all day. Can't really listen to YouTube videos when someone wants something from you every minute. I also do a lot of things related to facility management in between (our library buildings are practically falling apart in some places...), so even when I'm not at the counter, I have way too much stuff to do to listen to rips. Sigh. Sometimes, I miss my old job.........

But I'll try my best to catch up some time in the future. At the very latest in September. My first vacation days in 7 months... Anyway, let's get back to the image at hand:

In the foreground, there's obviously my beloved dynamic duo of besties: Woodman and Nozomi. Woodman has been missing from the channel for 1 and a half years. Please bring him back. I miss my wife, Tails...

For this piece, my theme was centered around my favorite SiIvaGunner joke from the past few months (or has it been years?): The raft ride. I wanted something fun and summer-y, so I decided to put all the characters I drew in cute little sailor outfits. For Woodman, I just drew him in something simple that I thought of myself, which complimented and incorporated his usual armor.

Next we have Nozomi, who dons her outfit from μ's fifth single "Wonderful Rush". I had a few water themed outfits to chose from with her (and Honoka, for that matter), but I chose Wonderful Rush for Nozomi since it just fit with the aesthetic I was going for.

Next to those two is Coraline from the 3DS street pass game "Ultimate Angler", which is also prominently featured on the channel. For her outfit, I just modified her usual attire a little to fit in with the sailor vibe. I also turned her sun visor around because I could for the life of me not figure out how to draw it properly at this angle. Uhhh... I mean, I turned it around because I thought it looked cool.

I hope you can see that I had an absolute breakthrough in Gimp. I think I already talked about it on my Buck fanart, but I finally discovered layer modes. After 4 years of working with Gimp. Spectacular, I know. If you don't notice it here, you'll definitely notice it on the next image in queue for the robot master quest I have going on. I can already spoil you who it's gonna be this time: Tornadoman! I honestly couldn't believe what I was drawing. I think I was possessed by something for a few hours. It was honestly a little scary. But I think you'll see what I mean once you see the actual image, it's really different from the usual stuff I draw.

Getting back to the topic of this picture, let's talk about the background now. I decided to draw a little ship with lots of familiar faces making up the crew.

The ships captain is Honoka, who is standing on the very left of the deck. I took her outfit from μ's single "Heart to Heart!", which also fit into the aquatic theme quite nicely.

Right next to her, under a rainbow flag that's fluttering in the wind above them, is Aquaman. My beloved. Since I drew him into last years birthday gallery image, I decided to do the same this year. I also put a little starfish on his hat because I think it looked cute ;)

Standing epicly and mysteriously on the top of the boat is Meta Knight. I don't know if you can see it when it's zoomed out so far, but he's holding some kind of folded map in his right hand. Maybe they're looking for treasure??

And on the very right of the ship are Tito Dick and Robbie Rotten, reenacting that one famous scene from the Titanic movie.

After that, we shift our focus to the left of the image, where we can see Fluttershy flying over the island from Tomodachi Life.

And that's it for this image folks. I hope I'll finish my Mega Man Fully Charged art before the weekend ends, so stay tuned for that next! And after that, we're going right back to the robot master grind. ;)

Until then, this has been Jenny Pyjamakama, signing off. ;)

[kallystah]

~~~ Hot morning ~~~ Shanks x reader

- Shankssssss... lengthened the young woman. Get out of therrre.. she added.

- Mhm.

The only answer she had to her groans for over twenty minutes was a simple "mhmh". And that fed her. Indeed, she had been locked under the heavy and muscular body of her captain for a little while now. Of course, all of this was intentional. Well half, and there was an explanation behind it all.

Like every other day, she had gone to her own split cabin with the only three other girls in the crew. But it was only a place where she stored her things, so she had put on her nightie and left. The real place where she slept every night was the captain's room. Also knew as her boyfriend.

And yesterday, she was just going to sleep with him as usual. And like every morning when she woke up before him, he blocked her all along with his body.

Having his arm wrapped around her chest, then her torso resting against the woman's more frail one. There was also his right leg which was going up on his body. Clearly, she was his pillow.

- Nah but seriously. I have work to do. I'll let you know that you put me on watch from nine o'clock. So in ten minutes.

- But we are good here.

- Ah, you finally deign to answer me. Go move from there you crush me. She said, stirring.

- You're loud this morning. It was better last night when you were just screaming my name.

- Shank! She said all red by his words. She would never get used to it as he liked to tease her about it.

- Ah, there you go ! But not this intonation Y/n... Do you want me to show you the correct one? He said, rising from the body of the young woman.

An idea tilted in the mind of the woman. I mean, from the devil.

- You mean like this? Shanks... She whispered in exactly the same way he expected.

Thanks to that, the handsome captain was wide awake, although his pupils were dilated and wandering, as if they were imagining... special things.

- There you have it. Say it again to see.

So she did it again at the same time as her lover's body rose completely to let his hands wander gently over his wife's body. Running his rough but delicate fingers over her beautiful curves, tickling her a bit.

- Shank...

- Hush... Let's do this much more slowly than last night.

- You're just completely knackered, she mocked.

- Do not underestimate me ! For the trouble, I don't give delicacy to mean girls.

- Because you know several?

- You know very well that you are the only one Y/n. He said looking her straight in the eyes with his serious, yet loving face.

While he continued to draw circles, hearts, and other imaginary figures going from his belly to his thighs, the woman got up -finally- and put her mouth to his ear, in order to whisper a few words to him.

- Shanks, don't you want to finish all your caresses a little faster? I'm fed up. She weakly whispered the words to him, fully confident in her ability to warm him up.

- Madame is in a hurry, I see.

After this last sentence, he took his hand to touch the vague open shirt she wore. Finally it was the shirt of the man that she had quickly put on before falling asleep. Then he places his hands on either side of the young woman's head before finally kissing her.

One round.

Two rounds.

Three rounds.

She was going to suffocate, he knew how to take his time, this pirate. But basically it was her who wanted to make him regret! Deciding to achieve her primary goal, she slowly raised her knees between her man's legs, so as to calmly touch him. She even heard a gasp of surprise in the kiss.

Feeling that she had finally managed to wake him up properly and warm him up, she turned him over so that she was on top of him, then threw the nearest pillow in his face.

After that she got up at top speed and got out of the room as fast as she could, she still heard him moaning from his bed. But she wouldn't do anything. This small revenge was to solve his morning problem alone like the great and amazing captain he was.

.

.

.

- Someone know where is Y/n ?

- She hides from the captain.

~~~~

sorry for spelling mistake, hope you enjoy reading

[skzinka]

“ BREACH OF CONTRACT ”

timeline : january, 2022

summary : this kind of decision isn't easy, but maybe it was necessary. ft. lua of ateez

word count : 2.4k>

looking at her reflection in the mirror, inka found her face simply repulsive. her eyes seemed dull, lifeless, her pale face was like that of the vampires in the movies — she could easily have entered enhypen's blood suckers concept alongside calista. a nervous laugh escaped her lips before she rubbed her eyes with the back of her sleeve, today was a special day. it had been a month since the day she'd last set foot in the dormitory, a month that she hadn't replied to the countless messages from her members, a month she hadn't set foot in the agency, prompting her manager to put her on temporary hiatus. of course, many questions had been asked, to which she kindly replied that if they wanted her back, they'd have to leave her alone for a while — what they did, surprising as it was. but now, she had to take matters into her own hands and decide what to do with her future.

so, she slipped on her shoes, despite the incessant sighs escaping from her cold lips. « are you sure you don't want me to come with you? » — the voice behind her back asked softly, drawing a small smile from her as she shook her head negatively, « it's okay. i have to do it myself. »

rising to her feet and pivoting towards lua, the latter moved towards her, slipping her arms around her best friend's figure. « whatever decision you make, i'll always be by your side, okay? » inka felt her heart warming in her chest as she shook her head positively this time, « thank you yuehua, for everything you did to me. i couldn't have stood it without you. » — slightly apart, observing the sincerity in each other's eyes, lua placed her hands against her best friend's cheeks, pressing them lightly, « no matter what kalaya, you're an amazing woman. » a smile appeared on the brunette's face and she nodded, slipping one last time into the arms of the only person who had been able to reassure her properly.

after a brief farewell, she finally set foot outside, hurrying to her manager's car that would lead her straight to the hell she had previously refused to return to. buckling her belt, she sighed again, biting her lower lip nervously, her leg bouncing with stress — glancing in the rear-view mirror, her manager suddenly spoke up, in a voice filled with concern, « how do you feel? »

glancing at the driver before hiding in the hood of the sweatshirt she was wearing, inka shrugged her shoulders, staring at the void through the car window, « horrible. i already feel sick just being in the car. »

the situation was much more delicate than he had thought. and worst of all, he had no idea what to do to cheer her up — so he decided simply to leave her alone until he reached the agency, concentrating on the road ahead. inka thought it would be a good idea to turn her phone back on, all this to deal with numerous long-ignored notifications. glancing quickly at a few of them, she began to feel so bad that an urge to vomit gripped her stomach. how could she ignore her caring friends like that? heartbreaking messages from jeongin and jisung stabbed her in the heart, « no wonder why he's so good at writing sad love songs.. » — she said to herself, trying to ignore the fact that she felt guilty, ashamed and didn't know how to face them after all this time. rubbing the tip of her nose to prevent the tears stinging her eyes from rolling down her cheeks, she locked her phone before tucking it away in her pocket, continuing to ignore the mountain of problems piling up on her back.

after long minutes of driving, which seemed like unbearable seconds to her, the car finally stopped in the underground parking lot of jyp. she stared out the window for a long time, dreading every step she took into the agency — she was completely tetanized, an unknown fear seeping into her every muscle. « you don't have to go, you know.. » announced her manager, who was far too preoccupied with the girl's mental health to leave her in such condition. but despite inka's uncertainty, she had to be brave and keep going. she had to take a step forward in her future for her own good. with a trembling hand, she slowly opened the car door, without glancing at the older man in front of her, « it's okay. i have to do it. » she announced as she stepped outside the car, followed closely by the manager who had promised not to leave her alone for a second.

staring at his shoes as she walked, doing her best not to make eye contact with anyone in the agency, inka hurried to the main lift, climbed up the stairs and stopped in front of her superior's office. but suddenly, she seemed frozen in place, unable to make the slightest movement. she had thought long and hard before coming to that decision, ruminating in lua's bed for nights without sleeping a wink, so why was she hesitating now? the decision was the best one for her, for her health, for her well-being, for her future — so why was it so hard to open the door in front of her?

her breathing quickened as she took a step backwards, her hand trembling as if the temperature were in the negative degrees. her heart seemed to panic, she lost all her means, her manager seemed to be talking to her, but she couldn't hear anything, her voice was completely muffled. tears began to roll down her cheeks uncontrollably, she wanted to scream and vent all the frustration that was consuming her inside. and just as she was about to collapse on the ground, a voice managed to infiltrate beyond the sound barrier she had unconsciously created for herself. instantly pivoting towards the latter, she found herself face to face with her youngest member.

« jeon..gin..? » she barely managed to say, before the young man literally pounced on her. his arms clutched around her, one of his hands positioned at the back of her head as he camouflaged inka's face in his sweatshirt, helping to calm her panic attack. the girl's hands clung to his top, gripping it as if it were her only means of survival — the tears on her cheeks redoubled in intensity, as if she'd kept all the pain in the world inside her, and could finally let it all out. it was horrible to see, a scene capable of distressing anyone, inka's pain was so palpable. « i'm so sorry, » she sobbed, shaking her head against jeongin's sweatshirt, « i'm unforgivable. »

« what are you saying? » he replied softly, pulling away slightly to observe her face attentively, brushing her cheeks with his fingers to wipe away the tears. « you're talking nonsense. i know you needed some time after all that's happened. »

nodding gently, she tried as best she could to control the tears that were rolling down her cheeks — without success. jeongin didn't know what to do to console her, so he simply decided to hold her close to him, laying her ear against his chest so that she could hear the beating of his heart. and after a few minutes, the gesture seemed to work, because kalaya stopped crying, but didn't move away from the young boy. « thank you innie, you're always what i need when my heart aches. » — as if it were the first time she'd ever said something like that to him, jeongin felt the tips of his ears grow hot, his cheekbones too.

as she lifted her face to his, tossing back the few frivolous strands of his hair, a small smile finally appeared on his lips, a smile jeongin hadn't seen in a long time. this simple fact warmed his heart, and he couldn't control his desire to hold her again — so he pulled her against him again, squeezing her as if his life depended on it, as if it were the last time he'd ever see her. inka slipped her arms firmly around him, holding him close to her heart and enjoying the reassuring warmth she had missed so much. thanks to him, she thought of nothing, none of the little problems of her life.

but she was soon brought back to reality.

« you're coming back with us, right? » he asked suddenly, his fox-like eyes shooting straight to the girl's heart. just as she was about to answer, the door to her right suddenly opened, revealing the director, who was relieved to see inka there at last, « ahh, kalaya. come, we need to talk. »

reluctantly letting go of jeongin's hand, inka offered him a gentle smile before stepping inside the office, the door closing behind her. just as she was about to take a seat on one of the chairs in front of her, her eyes fell on an all-too-familiar silhouette : in the second empty seat was none other than bang chan. not wanting to make a scandal of herself in front of her superior, inka sat silently, staring at the floor. what's he doing here?, she asked herself, when she was supposed to have a private meeting without any of her members.

« i've asked bang chan to come, since he's stray kids' leader, he needs to know your final decision. » a certain bitterness crept into your muscles — you wanted to face this situation alone. « so.. fans and stray kids' members have been waiting for you for a month now. we've given you a break, as you requested. but we'd like to know what's going on now. »

inka did not look up and seemed to reflect for a moment. her head was a mess : with so many questions and decisions to be made, like the incessant lyrics of a broken record. before she walked through that door, she had a very clear idea of what she wanted her future to be : a decision that suited her perfectly and that she had thought long and hard about. but now everything seemed to blend together, as if she could no longer say what she really wanted, like an invisible barrier in front of her mouth. cracking her knuckles nervously, she finally looked up at her director, ready to speak — but a voice suddenly overtook hers, « no matter what you're about to say, just know that i'm sincerely sorry and that i'm ready to pay the consequences of my actions. »

it was definitely not what she needed to hear right now — she didn't want to hear him talk at all. the ceo's confused eyes juggled between her face and bang chan's, incomprehension visible on his facial features. but she didn't want to talk about it, she didn't want to explain it, she just wanted to forget it. then, completely ignoring the leader's words, she rose from her seat and approached the desk, placing a piece of paper on its surface, « i want to cancel my contract. »

she could feel two pairs of eyes bubbling towards her, as if lasers were piercing her skull. inka cleared her throat, trying to ignore the boy fidgeting in panic behind her, while concentrating on the tetanized face of her superior. « what? » he asked almost too faintly, a nervous laugh escaping his lips. he probably thought she had some nerves, demanding such a thing after a month's absence — but kalaya intended to remain firm in her decision, and crossed her arms against her chest.

« you heard me right. but.. » — but now she wanted to talk with him alone. « can i talk with you all alone? » she asked, leaning over the desk. the older man nodded and dismissed chan, who reluctantly left the room, casting one last apologetic glance at his younger member.

once the door was locked, inka swiveled back to her superior, who seemed perfectly attentive to her next words. « i want to cancel my actual contract to make a new one. » suddenly, the panic on his face lifted, giving way to an expression of relief, as if she'd just removed a thorn from his side. a wry smile appeared on her lips, feeling much better that he seemed receptive to her request.

« you scared me, for a second i thought you wanted to leave the agency. » inka shrugged, settling into one of the chairs facing the desk, « oh, believe me, i thought about it. » the director raised an eyebrow, observing her with a questioning gaze.

« until a few days ago, i wanted to leave stray kids and the agency. but i thought long and hard about it, and after mature reflection, i've decided to stay, but with a few extra conditions. » a light laugh left the lips of her superior, who leaned over his desk and crossed his arms, « you've got a lot of nerve, you know that? »

kalaya nodded, a wry smile painting her lips. of course, she knew that discussing her contract with the director was a delicate matter, especially when you know that you could be out of a job at the snap of a finger — but she'd rather get fired for having tried than to have given up of her own free will the dream she'd fought so hard to achieve. which was why she had decided to lay her cards on the table and set her conditions, despite the risks involved.

she was a flower in full bloom, ready to weather any storm.

« i know. but i want to continue to be a member of stray kids, but only if people listen to me and treat me with respect. » — and she was absolutely right. the older man nodded, evidently ready to listen to her requests. so with a winning smile, kalaya explained in detail the conditions she hoped would be validated, not imagining for two seconds what was happening on the other side of the door.

« is she really leaving? »

« ..yes. »

✧⠁taglist : @invuwrld @writerblock-sucks @mynameisnotlaura @alyszaen @felixsbrat @alixnsuperstxr

[momentokori]

🤩 FACE WITH STARRY EYES — is your oc a planner, or are they more spontaneous in their actions?

🥪 SANDWICH — what does your oc's typical lunch look like? do they usually eat lunch?

💘 HEART WITH ARROW — what and/or who do(es) your oc consider the most important to them?

🤍 WHITE HEART — what are three of your oc's neutral/questionable traits?

🎄 CHRISTMAS TREE — what is your oc's favorite holiday?

💯 HUNDRED POINTS SYMBOL — share three random facts about your oc that others may not know.

For no particular person on the koolkidz

Since it's no particular one I'll do all of them! Bear with me guys this is gonna be a long one.

ASK GAME

🤩- Is your OC a planner, or are they more spontaneous in their actions?

Elaine: Spontaneous.

Heather: Planner.

Rai: Planner.

Fray: Spontaneous.

Lara: Planner.

Amara: Planner.

🥪- What does a typical lunch look like? Do they usually eat lunch?

Elaine: Bowl of cereal or leftover dinner.

Heather: A small bowl of fruits or yogurt.

Rai: Bowl of ramen or leftovers.

Fray: Oatmeal or smoothie.

Lara: Sandwich of some sort plus some fruit.

Amara: Doesn't normally eat lunch.

💘- What and/or who do(es) your OC consider the most important to them?

Elaine: Her family and friends.

Heather: Her family, friends, and school.

Rai: Her friends and brothers.

Fray: Her dad, Lara, and Heather.

Lara: Fray and her brothers.

Amara: Her brother and her friends.

🤍- What are three of your OCs neutral/questionable traits?

Elaine: Obliviousness, too trusting, doesn't think ahead.

Heather: Cares too much, thinks too much, being very untrusting to men.

Rai: Overthinking, focusing on one thing at a time, trying to lead.

Fray: Not caring enough, acts before thinking, thinks she can take anyone down without a strategy.

Lara: Overprotective, the loner of the group, a literal criminal.

Amara: Cares for others more than herself, pushes herself, too many gifts.

🎄- What is your OCs favorite holiday?

Elaine: Christmas.

Heather: Christmas.

Rai: Halloween.

Fray: Halloween.

Lara: Thanksgiving.

Amara: Valentine's Day.

💯- Share three random facts about your OC that others may not know.

Elaine: Despite being one of the first she just got a final design after months, she is mixed with literally everything though she's mostly black (she doesn't look like it.) second tallest of the group.

Heather: I already wanted to do someone related to Roy so she was created at the very end, needs glasses but doesn't wear them for fear of looking like her dad, I wanted to give her walking sticks but I'm still figuring out how to draw them properly.

Rai: Originally my S/I, her terrible relationship with her dad is based off of my hatred for mine, has shorter hair than her brothers.

Fray: After being made I realized how much she reminded me of Rainbow Dash, there is no wrong way to draw her hair as long as it's messy and split you're good, tallest of the group.

Lara: AroAce, oddly enough she enjoys physical touch like holding hands or hugging, very good with kids despite not having any younger siblings. (Better than Fray even.)

Amara: The ribbon in her hair is a ribbon from a stuffed animal Rick got her a while ago, she's straight but definitely not cis, almost all of her pieces of clothes are pink in her closet.

[glassrowboat]

😘😍😳 for the selfship ask game <3

😘: Talk about a moment that you and (F/O) privately shared in a crowded room.

Diluc and Prudence

Diluc's first time in Fontaine to attend a ball with her. Back in Mondstadt, he's well known, popular even, but here in Fontaine, no one would see his bright red hair and bat an eye.

And it's not like Prue draws attention either, even with her father's grand title, lording over her. She had always been too shy to put herself out there enough to stir the pot. To make friends who would giggle over seeing how they were now.

Dancing together off in the corner so neither of them had to deal with the hustle and bustle of the crowded dance floor.

Michi and Baizhu

Michi had been up on the roof of Bubu pharmacy, metal nails clicking against her teeth with each swing of her hammer as she held them in her mouth. It was always far more convenient this way than having to worry about one rolling on off and hitting one of his beloved patients on the way down. Though it would surely crack her up.

Down below, Baizhu watched her patch up the hole she was kind enough to volunteer to fix, eyebrows pinching tighter together with every loud bang.

“Please be careful.” He called. “I couldn't stand to have my favorite flower fall.”

“Oh please, I'll survive.” Looking down at where she was, so high up from the ground Michi tacked on: “maybe.”

An old man passed by Baizhu, walking stick in hand as they wobbled over to the counter to talk to Gui.

Baizhu's hand was already reaching out to help steady him, hand to the man's back while he looked up at Michi one more time. From here, he could see how mouthing “I'm fine.”

Giving her a smile, he mouthed back “be safe” in lieu of an "I love you."

😍: Talk about a moment when (F/O) couldn’t keep their eyes off of you.

Diluc and Prudence

A moment when they were both teenagers, young and too dumb to really think properly. At least beyond the temporary. Not as his hands wandered over her sides and Prue shoved him down into the barrels of hay below.

A terrible place for this, really, but it would suffice as their lips met.

It was only when Diluc had realized this was affecting him far more than it should would he push her off with a strawberry red face (as she liked to call it, always making a point to tease him about his freckles) and say something about how they should head back inside before dinner is done.

Michi and Baizhu

When they were sitting on the vanity before him, brush dipping into the colorful makeup pallet to dust it with a soft orange. His color. The one he wore every day right around his eyelids, and that Michi had taken to trying to perfect herself so she could do his makeup for him on the days he was too tired to bother.

Softly, she would mutter about hating to do eyeliner, but for him, they would figure it out regardless.

🤟: Talk about a moment when (F/O) made you feel more confident.

Diluc and Prudence

After she had messed up when he was trying to teach her how to wield a claymore and she left a pretty decent gash on him. Prue had been freaking out for five minutes after the first drop of blood had been drawn. Constantly asking if he was okay even as Adelinde wrapped a bandage around his arm.

The three of them at least knew to keep this between them.

So for now, Diluc took her hand, the one she had been waving around in the air like a madman every time she gestured to his wound and squeezed it softly.

“This just means your grip on the sword has been improving, Prue. A little more practice, and you'll knock me off my feet next time.”

Michi and Baizhu

When his fingers are running along the stretch marks on her thighs, tracing them almost mindlessly as she curled up against him. Like this, he could tell she was half asleep, but that didn't stop Baizhu from whispering “you're beautiful, my glaze lily” as they drifted off.

[kaibutsushidousha]

Memory in Children: Mechanical Choices (Sagrada Reset 3) - Chapter 2: Android Girl (July)

[INDEX]

"Please use the abilities to make me remember the past again", said Haruki on July 2nd.

She had thought about this for the past few days and mentioned it now that she was called to the rooftop. Conveniently enough, Asai Kei and Souma Sumire were already there when she arrived.

Souma nodded with no signs of surprise.

"Of course. I don't mind. I know Sakagami will help. It only depends on you now, Kei."

Kei sighed as if nothing in the world mattered. This expression of his was semi-frequent.

"Why do you want to remember the past?"

Haruki predicted this question. Asai Kei asked for the reasons behind actions all the time.

"I want to remember when I had emotions."

"Why?"

"To solve Mari's issue."

For a long while, she had searched for a way to make a mother love a daughter. But she found no answer. Instead, she realized why she couldn't find an answer.

(I don't love anyone. I don't like or dislike anyone.)

Thinking about love didn't tell her what the emotion was like.

(Without understanding that, I'll never be able to figure out how to make a mother love a daughter. That much is obvious.)

Haruki needed to find her emotions first. That's where she needed to start from if she wanted a method to earn a mother's love.

Emotions. A word she didn't understand. She doesn't remember ever being aware of them. The only thing she could remember was Mari gripping the hem of her skirt. Every time she did, Haruki felt something was misaligned.

Maybe "emotion" was how they called this misalignment. Haruki gripped her own skirt but nothing felt misaligned.

Kei looked at Haruki. She couldn't find any emotion in his gaze.

"You think that you had emotions before but now you lost them?"

Haruki nodded.

"Yes."

"What makes you think so?"

"I know tears are warm. That must mean I cried in the past."

(I don't remember it, but there must have been a time when I had enough emotions to properly shed tears.)

Kei shook his head and answered.

"I don't really care. Do what you want."

That day, Haruki started searching for her emotions.

With Asai Kei's and Sakagami Yousuke's help, she recalled her memories in full detail to find her emotions.

She retraced her memories, progressing deeper into the past one step at a time.

She found what she was looking for two weeks later: on July 16th.

That day, Haruki remembered when she was 5.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

There was a cicada by the sidewalk.

It was atop the white line that separated the pedestrian walk from the road.

The cicada cried incessantly with its belly facing the sky. It flapped its cellophane-like wings with all its might, but couldn't take flight again. All it could do was drag its body drawing circles on the hard asphalt.

The cicada who couldn't fly seemed like it was telling Haruki it was suffering. Haruki thought the cicada was codified pain and despair condensed into a size that fit in the palm of her hand.

The cicada on the asphalt kept flapping its wings. Despite never being able to fly again.

It was very tired. Its scraped wings hurt. Not being able to move the way it wanted scared it. Nonetheless, the cicada continued attempting to fly.

The 5-year-old Haruki wanted to help the cicada if she could. She thought it deserved to be saved from all this suffering.

And so, she extended her hand. Her index and middle fingers touched the cicada's hard exoskeleton. The cicada flapped its wings more intensely, then it stopped moving.

The suddenness with which the cicada stopped moving resembled death. It was seemingly drained of all the energy necessary to remain alive. The cicada's body was as light as an empty husk.

Haruki watched the cicada on her hand.

Eventually, the cicada started crying again. It suddenly started flapping its wings again and slipped off of her hand.

Haruki was startled by the danger of it, but the cicada never crashed on the hard asphalt. It was safely clung to the chest area of Haruki's blue dress.

Relieved, she looked around. She wanted to put the cicada on a tree. She knew that cicadas landed on trees to suck its sap. Landing on clothes didn't save the cicada.

The five-year-old Haruki was very small. She couldn't reach the branches of big trees.

Looking around, she found an adult-sized hedge. Haruki ran to the hedge, still with the cicada clinging to her little dress.

She stood in front of it and reached for the cicada. Its complexly shaped legs were weakly attached to the fabric. The slightest pull removed the bug from the dress.

(Oh, right), realized the 14-year-old Haruki. (Mari's grip on my uniform was most likely this strong.)

The 5-year-old Haruki hooked the cicada to a thin branch of the hedge.

The cicada remained unmoving for a long time.

Haruki kept staring at it.

The wind blew, shaking the hedge. It was almost nothing. But this almost nothing was enough to make the cicada fall. It crashed into the asphalt with a faint noise.

The cicada never moved again. It rolled on the asphalt like a stick. Haruki noticed that the cicada died somewhere along the way.

The cicada will never move again. It will no longer wish to fly. The world had lost one cicada.

She remembered the weak grip on her blue dress. But the cicada on the asphalt won't land on Haruki's clothes again.

Before she knew it, she was crying. She was overtaken by sadness.

She lost strength, as if the death she saw was her own. With both arms loosely slouched, Haruki looked at the cicada and cried.

As she cried alone on the sidewalk, she could hear cicadas. Many of them still cried loudly. All of them would die one day. There was no doubt. All of these cicadas would be dead by the end of summer.

Thinking that made Haruki cry even more.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The 14-year-old Haruki was sitting on a folding chair in the student council room, remembering everything from when she was 5.

She was already getting used to the sensation of having vast amounts of information entering her brain at once. She was ready to receive the mind-crushing blocks of memory.

Nonetheless, Haruki's face twisted and she bit her lips. An unpredicted form of pain afflicted her. Not in the brain but in the heart. —She couldn't tell if it was hot or cold, but there was a unique temperature to this pain.

She heard Souma Sumire's voice.

"What happened?"

She answered without thinking. Not really "answer" because her words weren't directed at Souma. But it wasn't exactly a monologue either. It was a dialogue with herself.

"I was crying. Always."

(How did I forget that? When I was 5, I cried a lot.)

Back then, Haruki cried every time she saw tragic news on TV, found something broken, or heard sad stories. And she still hadn't lost the physical capability to cry.

She heard Asai Kei's voice.

"And why did you cry?"

"Due to tragedies."

"What tragedies?"

"Pretty much everything. The natural state of the world is tragic."

It was tragic that everything alive would eventually die. It was tragic that everything tangible would eventually break. Everything about those natural rules made her sad.

She thought the world was rooted in sadness and misfortune. She believed that much like gravity pulled everything to the ground, there was a force drawing all humans, living beings, and physical objects toward tragedy. She had no other way to explain the necessity of death. Nothing had any real need to be irreparable. The 5-year-old Haruki Misora interpreted everything in her life as saddening.

"The natural state of the world... is tragic?", Asai spoke with a calm voice.

"Yes."

"So that's why you lost your ability to make choices. And because you couldn't choose anything, you created the rules. Is that correct?"

A few rules that defined Haruki Misora's actions.

He continued.

"If all routes lead to tragedy, all choices are pointless. No choice changes anything. That's why you lost your ability to make choices. But you still had to choose things despite being unable to, so you had to establish rules for your behavior."

(Was that it? Sounds right.)

Reaching out for the cicada didn't help it. That's the unsavory truth she learned. If nothing can ultimately be saved, she needed to come up with a different reason to reach out to a dying cicada.

She needed simpler, more unwishful, and more inorganic rules.

"There's one thing I wanna know.", said Asai Kei with his usual calm tone. "Who exactly is suffering from these tragedies?"

The answer was obvious.

It's Haruki Misora herself. Her brain knew that.

But she found herself surprisingly unsure. Was Haruki the one suffering from the cicada's death? Shouldn't that suffering belong to the actual cicada? What makes the cicada's death a personal tragedy to Haruki?

Unconsciously, she whispered: "I don't know."

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

The clock showed that less than a minute had passed.

Haruki looked debilitated despite spending this short of a time remembering old memories.

Asai Kei and Souma Sumire carried Haruki to the infirmary together. Before she was done lying down on the bed, she fell asleep. She dropped quietly like a withered branch falling off a tree.

Kei could spend the entire day sitting next to her, but he didn't. And he didn't have a reason for this choice. He aimlessly climbed the stairs. Opening the door to the school rooftop, he realized how much that place soothed his heart.

He looked at the sky. It was already a mid-July sky. The world on the rooftop was completely engulfed in Summer. He could hear the echoes of the cicadas below.

"Why did you ask that question?", asked Souma. She was more distant than usual.

Kei answered with an intentional smile.

"Which question?"

"Who exactly is suffering from these tragedies? That's not a question one would normally ask."

"I had a hunch."

He was always thinking about androids, about people, and about Haruki. His thoughts lead him to one theory.

He believed he had the answer to "What is Haruki lacking?".

"What Haruki lacks is self-acknowledgement. The younger Haruki couldn't tell she was suffering. That's how much she's able to ignore herself."

Kei didn't know what made Haruki like that. Maybe she was born that way or maybe she failed to learn something everyone knows.

The reason didn't matter. What he knew was that from a young age, Haruki wasn't too capable of acknowledging herself.

That explained everything to him.

"A cicada's death doesn't make a normal 5-year-old that sad. Kids that young don't see the world with such an overblown lens of pessimism."

"Yeah, I agree with the theory."

"We're always the most special person to ourselves. We suffer more from misfortune affecting someone close than affecting a stranger, and we suffer more from misfortune affecting ourselves than someone close. That's how it works for most people."

(That's what keeps us balanced. We can write off distant calamities as not our problem.)

"And I'm not excluding myself from the argument. I hate being personally hurting and suffering a lot more than I hate other people's misfortunes."

"That's true for pretty much everyone. We all help and hurt others for our own sakes."

"But not Haruki."

(Just how much suffering there is out there for someone who mistakes the deaths on TV news for their own death? How difficult it is to live when you accept all the pain in the world as your own? How much despair there is every day if even the death of a cicada feels like you died?)

People set up a filter to give those issues closure. They put a clear divide between themselves and others, which dulls them to the pain of others.

But for Haruki Misora, who lacked this function, constant sadness was the only option. She exhausted her emotions and kept the sadness going until she completely forgot she was sad.

"I'm pretty sure that's it. She doesn't give herself special value, so acknowledges the full tragicness of every tragedy."

For anyone in their right mind, this needed fixing. She was lacking a function essential to human life. But despite knowing that, Kei couldn't bring himself to devalue Haruki's personality.

(If life made them suffer that much, a normal person would have put an end to it. When they realize they can't save a dying cicada, anyone else would simply give up. If sadness was draining their emotions, anyone else would grow unable to do anything. Yet she chose to keep functioning.)

She created mechanical rules to make decisions for her, despite how much that laid her tragedy bare.

Haruki imposed on herself that if she found someone she couldn't save, she still had to try. Time and time again, she chose minor acts of virtue that anyone else would disregard, even if it cost her her emotions. For years and years on.

"I believe Haruki can only remain righteous in my absence."

She was pure and unadulterated good, with no desire for love, satisfaction, glory, or self-preservation. She can be virtuous without knowing she is.

"If anyone can be called a saint, that's Haruki."

(Virtue is a talent. The purest of them all. If someone without that talent tried to become a saint through sheer effort, all you'd get is a hopelessly twisted hypocrite pretending to be good. Haruki Misora is the talent of virtue taken to its purest.)

"Nice moral viewpoint.", Souma giggled a quiet and perhaps sad giggle. "But Haruki can't save anyone."

"I know that."

Pure good is very weak. There's very little one can do without hurting others.

Souma approached Kei. She peered into Kei's eyes.

"People would rather be saved by a hypocrite than be watched by a saint."

"Sounds right."

"And Kei, I believe the only ones who can save others are conceited hypocrites like you."

"I'm not like that. I can't even emulate virtue."

(I don't have the courage a true hypocrite needs for that.)

He lost his ability to fake virtue when he chose to abandon his parents and remain in the city. When his absolute memory made him unable to forget any of his wrongdoings.

"You can start now, Kei. But you're a strong guy, so you'll eventually find yourself unable to escape from that. Whenever you decide it's time to play the saintly character, I know you'll be able to pull it off."

"Hah.", he laughed. "I don't know what you mean. I can't be anyone other than myself."

Souma Sumire extended her right hand to Kei. The inside of her fingers weakly pushed against Kei's cheek.

"Exactly. You can't be anyone other than yourself. Stupidly kind, obsessively sensitive to malice, relentlessly driven to be righteous despite not believing in your own righteousness."

"You're talking nonsense."

"Sure, I can prove it to you."

"Oh? How?"

"I'll give you the opportunity to do exactly what a saint would."

Souma pulled away her right arm and instantly erased her smile.

"I searched into Kurakawa Mari."

"And?"

"You know how she's always going to the hospital? It's a hospital I've been to regularly for a treatment I did as a kid."

(Wait, what? What she just said doesn't make sense.)

"As far as I know, you moved to Sakurada last year. Why was your regular treatment in the same hospital as Mari, who lives here?"

"I was born here. We just moved away for a while and moved back last year."

"That's news to me."

"Does my past interest you so much?"

(You being born in Sakurada is certainly intriguing.)

"Never mind that. What did you find about Kurakawa Mari?"

"I asked my doctor about her."

Souma raised her chin, with her eyes still fixed on Kei.

And then she told him a single partial fact about Mari.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Haruki Misora woke up in the school infirmary and touched her chest.

She was feeling a strong pain there—but she assured herself that this was a sign of the sadness going away.

Asai Kei told her before that his ability couldn't be deactivated. He'll never forget what he used his ability to remember. But that wasn't the case for Haruki. She was affected by Kei's ability through Sakagami's. Whenever Sakagami stopped using his ability, Haruki would lose the power of Memory Retention. The violent sadness and heavy heartache she felt in the student council room were already fading from her memories.

Haruki got off the bed, picked up her bag, and told the school nurse that she was fine. Asai Kei and Souma Sumire weren't nearby. They had gone home earlier.

She changed her shoes and left the campus.

She heard the cicadas. Many of them. But at age 14, cicadas no longer made Haruki sad.

On her way home, Haruki passed by a park and looked inside.

She found Kurakawa Mari alone on the swings. She hadn't seen her in two weeks. Haruki walked closer to Mari for no particular reason.

"Oh, hi, miss."

Upon noticing her, Mari jumped off the swing and called her with joy. The pouch on her shoulder floated in the air for a few instants before dropping.

Mari ran to her with a smile.

(This is a smile. It's been 3 months since I met her at the end of April. I believe I already learned Mari's expressions in detail. I won't be stuck again trying to discern a smile from a crying face.)

"Jumping off the swings is dangerous.", claimed Haruki.

Mari apologized with a very earnest bow.

"Sorry."

And when she raised her head, she had a big smile on.

"You were late today. I thought I wouldn't see you."

"I had to go to a few places, such as the student council room and the infirmary."

"The infirmary?"

"I wasn't doing perfectly well."

Mari's face distorted with unrest. Noticing that, Haruki added:

"I'm better now. I recovered."

"Really? That's nice."

"Yes."

(People say it's better to get all of your health issues solved, but was it really okay to lose that pain in my heart?)

That random question arose inside her. She had no answer.

Haruki and Mari rode on the swings next to each other. Mari asked her to. Haruki had no reason to refuse.

She had grown quite used to riding child-sized swings. She also felt herself better at talking to Mari.

Haruki wondered if that was a form of growth.

(Probably not. It must be just a new rule forming within me. A rule for how to converse with Mari. The rule simply hasn't taken a verbal shape yet. It'll eventually form a solid outline I can convert into words, and it will become a rule I can more comfortably follow.)

Those were the thoughts crossing her head while she rode the swings. The wind blew her hair on her face, and when she put it away, the park's entrance entered her sight. There she saw a familiar boy.

(Asai Kei.)

His path home was in the opposite direction. She always saw him and Souma walking the opposite way when leaving school.

Asai Kei approached them with a twisted smile.

"The swings suit you surprisingly well, Haruki."

"Is the concept of 'suiting well' applicable to swings?"

"Probably. I sure wouldn't look nice on them."

He stopped in front of Mari. She stopped swinging and looked at Kei with curious eyes.

"Are you Kurakawa Mari?"

"Yeah."

"Nice to meet you. I'm Asai from Haruki's school.", he extended his right hand.

"Your hand?", Mari tilted her head.

Kei smiled kindly.

"Can I get a handshake?"

"Handshake?"

"Yes, you can greet others by shaking their hands."

Convinced, Mari extended her hand. He grabbed her hand. Not the way you grab for a handshake. He flipped her wrist, as one does to check for someone's pulse. His movements were strange when compared to Haruki's idea of a handshake.

"Nice clothes you're wearing.", said Asai Kei.

That's what made Haruki pay attention to Mari's clothes for the first time. A checkered one-piece dress.

Mari happily nodded.

"Thanks, mom bought it for me."

"Excuse me for a moment."

Kei moved his hand to Mari's wrist to confirm his suspicions.

Next, he rested his hand on Mari's shoulder.

"What school do you go to?"

"Uh, Kawarazaka Elementary."

Haruki never heard of that school. It wasn't anywhere close to this place.

Asai nodded.

"That's quite far from this park. What are you doing here?"

"I had an exam today."

"An exam?"

"On exam days, I play here until mom arrives."

"Do you know what you're examined for?"

"I don't. They take samples of my blood and do some weird tests on it."

"Ok.", Kei nodded. "By the way, Mari, can I ask you a question?"

"What is it?"

He spoke, never dropping his kind smile:

"Did you know a girl named Kurakawa Mari died 7 years ago?"

It took a while before Haruki understood the meaning of his words.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

"The original Kurakawa Mari died 7 years ago.", said Souma 15 minutes ago.

Kei could only repeat her "Died?". He couldn't believe it.

But Souma nodded without changing her expression.

"The original Kurakawa Mari failed to be safely born. When the doctor cut her mother's belly open, she was no longer breathing."

It was easy to dismiss Souma's story as a lie. That would have been the natural reaction to it.

But abilities existed in this city. Common sense meant nothing before the power of Sakurada City. Anything could happen.

That's why Kei ran to the park. Looking at Mari straight in the eyes and holding one of her hands, he asked one question.

"Did you know a girl named Kurakawa Mari died 7 years ago?"

Even assuming the real Mari is indeed dead, is it really necessary to ask her this question? Kei's answer was no. He believed that was not a question a 7-year-old should be hearing.

Nonetheless, he kept going.

"And if the real Mari is dead, who would you be?"

Mari's face had an expression of immense dread. It was fear that made her gulp. Not simple confusion. Kei sighed internally. That proved she knew that the original Mari was dead.

Mari forced her faint voice out of her throat to answer.

"I... am... Kurawaka... Mari..."

"And you're alive. Or at the very least, you're warm and have a pulse."

(How? Is it possible to even revive the dead in this town?)

From the corner of his eyes, he noticed Haruki turning her sight away from him. She looked at the park's entrance. Mari also followed her gaze and whispered:

"Mom."

Kei let go of Mari's hand.

Haruki looked at an adult woman. The woman had long hair and wore white clothes. She approached slowly.

Once he looked at her, he couldn't take his eyes away. Her hesitant walk drew his attention.

(What a face to make.)

That was his first impression of Mari's mother.

Sadness, pain, fear, regret, resignation; every possible negative emotion was plastered on her expression and sent signals to her facial nerves. The end result was an intimidating neutrality, trapped in a middle ground between anger and sorrow.

Her hair was dyed into a bright brown, but that failed to lighten her impression, in Kei's opinion. Her stress wrinkles were the cause. The wrinkles on the corner of her eyes and her mouth made it impossible for her to smile.

Mari ran to her mother. It seemed like she was dashing for a hug. But Mari stopped a step away. The mother looked at Mari with cold eyes and emotionless spoke to Haruki.

"Thank you as usual."

"You're welcome."

Haruki's voice and face are equally emotionless. The sunset arrived without them noticing it. The red dusk illuminated their blank countenances.

(Looks like Mari's mother knows the whole truth. She is perfectly aware of what the girl going by Mari's name is.)

But he didn't feel like asking her directly. Because the woman's face was far too exhausted. He could tell that one wrong word would result in an unimaginable problem.

Mari left the park one step behind her mother. Along the way, she turned back and waved at Haruki multiple times. She looked like a perfectly normal girl.

"Tell me more about Kurakawa Mari's death.", Haruki asked after she could no longer see Mari and her mother.

"I pretty much already told it all."

Kei repeated what Souma told him. Haruki listened to the story in silence. From an outsider's perspective, nothing changed. She was the usual Haruki Misora.

"Haruki, what are you going to do next?"

"About what?"

"About Mari. How will you interact with her going forward? Will you involve yourself in her situation or keep your distance? You have a lot of decisions to make."

"Can things not continue the way they were?"

"Something about that girl isn't normal. I still don't know what. But honestly, I think you need to be at least a little more careful."

Haruki gazed at him for a long while. Kei silently accepted her heavy stare.

She silently shook her head.

"I see no reason to change my behavior."

"You're going to stay Mari's friend like nothing happened?"

"Her... friend?"

"Is that not what it is?"

"It is. I hope so."

Kei sighed.

The real Kurakawa Mari died 7 years ago. Kei expected that Haruki would be this unfazed by the information. Since she can't recognize her own presence, there's nothing she'll find uncanny or threatening. Haruki Misora was completely defenseless against events where she was the subject.

Kei peered into Haruki's eyes. Every time he did, he mentally commented that her eyes were so pretty that they seemed artificial.

"Sure, you do you."

"I will."

"One thing though. If you're trying to make that girl happy, don't settle for a method. Never stop thinking about what's the right thing to do. Break your limits to go beyond those rules of yours."

Pure good was like a meaningless prayer. Joining one's hands together doesn't accomplish anything. Something beyond it is necessary. The egotistical will to reach one's hand out to others. Kei believed this girl had it. But he wasn't thinking about the Haruki Misora who follows the rules. He was thinking about the other Haruki somewhere deep inside, the Haruki Misora who created the rules.

Haruki didn't answer. She only stared at Kei.

"Don't forget to save every 3 days. With our abilities combined, there's no problem we can't solve.", Kei spoke to drive his attention away from her eyes.

Kei turned his back to Haruki and walked away.

Annoyed at a vague something he couldn't explain.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Souma Sumire walked the hallway alone, watching the setting sun through the window.

(Who is the android?)

Souma already knew the answer when she posed the question.

An android. Something non-human designed to resemble a human.

Their operations are programmed. It doesn't matter how much they resemble a human being. Even if they awaken their own ego, that ultimately only meant that they were programmed to have one.

They're beings bound to the rules that govern them and are unable to step outside of their boundaries. That's how Souma Sumire defined an android.

(Who is the android?)

Kei will eventually figure out the meaning of the question. But not now. By her current roadmap, this was scheduled to happen in two years. In a world without Souma Sumire.

She stopped at the student council room, knocked on the door, and entered. Sakagami Yousuke was sitting alone on a folding chair.

"Oh, you're still here?"

"I noticed you forgot your bag, so I waited for you to come pick it up."

"Thank you.", Souma smiled.

As she predicted. When he leaves the student council room, he needs to lock it and return the key to the teacher's lounge. She knew that Sakagami had the key, so she left her bag in the room.

She also knew what the next conversation topic needed to be. She knew it for the longest time.

"Haruki freaks you out, right?", she nonchalantly spoke as she picked up her bag.

Sakagami let out a bizarre screech. Letters can't accurately describe the sound he made, but it was something between an "a" and an "u".

She looked at him and he didn't have his smile. It was a very rare occasion. Normally Sakagami always had a pathetic smile on his face. He believed that all problems would just fly him by if he kept a friendly grin, no matter how fake.

"Not at all. She doesn't freak me out in the slightest.", he mumbled.

"Really? She freaks me out."

That was a lie.

But she knew that this was the right thing to say at the moment. So she continued.

"She looks kinda... artificial. Really gives me the creeps sometimes."

(Oh, how much Kei would hate to hear me say this. But my hands are tied. Because this is the most correct answer.)

She noticed Sakagami gulping. And then he nodded.

"I can see how. But I thought you were Haruki's friend."

"I wish I were, if I could. But I really can't accept Haruki the way she is."

Her only sincere words here. She can't be Haruki's friend no matter how hard she tries.

Sakagami smiled with relief.

"Whew. And here I thought I was the weird one."

"Weird how?"

"Haruki... Well, Asai too. They didn't feel normal to me. But I was thinking maybe it was weird of me to say that about my juniors."

Souma thought about the word "normal".

It presumably meant fitting a standard. If you extract an average of a majority, what fits in the central range is normal. If something whole is grouped together with broken things, being whole isn't normal. Being broken is normal.

"True. They're not normal."

At the very least, they didn't fit in the average values of the majority.

Sakagami nodded relieved with her agreement.

"Why do you hang out with those two?"

"Because they need help. We gotta help everyone in need, no matter who, don't you agree?"

"Yeah. You're always so kind."

(Nothing about me is kind. A kind person wouldn't be having this conversation.)

But Souma's answer was:

"Aren't you too? You're cooperating with Kei and Haruki despite your discomfort."

"I'm not helping them, I'm helping you."

Sakagami paused for a deep breath and continued.

"Hey, I know you're always so kind, and I think that's great, but don't you think you should take your distance from Asai and Haruki?"

She wished she could answer "No".

She wanted to loudly profess that Haruki Misora and Asai Kei were upstanding people. She could spend the whole day talking about how sincere and well-meaning they were. She could testify about their past, present, and future. She really wanted to. She was starving to do so. Her impulses burst from the depths of her heart. But she couldn't put them into words.

Souma Sumire knew the future. She knew what would happen if she defended Kei's and Haruki's honors. Sakagami's grievances with the two would intensify and he would start avoiding them. And without Sakagami, her future plan would go off-rails.

At this moment, she mustn't be positive about Kei and Haruki. She couldn't afford to lose track of her objective. She left her bag in the room to ease Sakagami's nerves enough. She was there to lie that she was on his side.

Thus, Souma nodded ambiguously.

"Ok, I value your advice, Sakagami. I'll think about it."

Sakagami smiled with relief. He couldn't forsake Souma, so he would keep his contact with Kei and Haruki. Goal accomplished. She felt awful about it.

She asked a question to change subjects.

"Am I normal to you?"

Sakagami could smile with ease.

"Yeah. More normal than me, even."

"That's great news."

(Then Sakagami doesn't know how anguishing it is to be unable to escape normalcy. He has no idea what it's like to live forced to choose the best possible answer every time.)

Sakagami looked at Souma, wanting to say something. He had the eyes of a street puppy asking to be adopted. She knew how happy he would be if she asked him to walk home together. Considering what would happen next, doing so would be beneficial but optional. Then she would take the chance to be alone, as she really wanted to.

"Thank you for waiting for me, Sakagami. Bye.", she left the student council room.

Everything was following her roadmap. All parts moved as predicted. There was no other way for it to be. After all, she knew the future. Souma accurately followed the route that led to her desired outcome.

(But what about me?), she thought while going down the stairs. (Am I, who just follows a roadmap, human?)

One specific route went to the best future.

Souma couldn't step outside the boundaries of this route. Because she knows she won't have the future she wants if she takes one wrong step. Souma's rationality wouldn't allow for any other choice.

It was like she was controlled by an absolute program. The Future Sight ability had complete power over Souma's actions.

(Who is the android? Who is the least human?)

[inavagrant-a]

How's turning your Girlfriend into a doll going. Did you figure out the science stuff yet

"If you believe this task is a simple one you are horrendously mistaken." Aside from Sumeru not being built in a day, he too was not built in a day. His mother creator went through great lengths of trial and error for years before she could accomplish her first viable breakthrough. That breakthrough being him. The same could be said for those segments Dottore had, it still makes Tetsuya laugh to think that it only took a few minutes for them all to cease to exist. All of that hard work and for what? Lesser Lord Kusanali was fierce when she wanted to be.

"What I have to my benefit is my very existence and the fact that my body can operate when I remove my head just fine. I can take notes easily that way." Ordering his body to move about, to hold its arms out, or to pose in a certain way. He can also remove his limbs and study the work within them. Opening up his physical presence to study the inside is no sweat off his back aside from some minimal pain here and there, but nothing that can make him flinch. "... The science behind it is not the complex matter I'm facing," no, no it turned out to be the structural side of things, molding the vessel itself. He needs to properly study her physique and her form, he needs to put it on paper somehow, make physical blueprints of her.

The wanderer needs to learn how to draw, how to put her on paper. That might cut his time by a year or two since this will be a years' long journey. "I need to have a solid blueprint of my star to finetune certain... details."

His dilemma now is who he can reach out to in order to refine these artistic skills of his and how to not garner too much suspicion from her when he wants to draw her. "I'll find a way, I will make it so."

[literallyjustscrollingthatisit]

The Process For "Proceed"

These are going to be pretty long posts but I thought I'd include a bit of commentary in between each. Starting with this one... Honestly, I was just testing out my iPad since this was the first time I'd ever attempted drawing digitally before. It was a really rough sketch with no true detail and just a little bit of color testing. (The quality on the images is pretty rough since for a while I would just take a picture of my screen rather than screenshot. I stop doing this eventually!)

Once I got my bearings and tested out my brushes (I use ProCreate by the way!), I started actually going in with more details, mainly Noelle's hair. I also tried to make her cloak more cloak-like? I think it worked anyway. I had a reference image for both Noelle and the Vessel as far as poses go because at the time, I had no experience and had taken zero actual drawing classes. (I'm in two right now!)

Now Noelle was really coming together! The base color was put in and the rest of her body (specifically ears and antlers) were added. I usually like to do base color for all the characters before ever touching shading. I'm not really sure why. But I did add a bit of shading on the back of Noelle's cloak here so I guess I just contradicted myself!

Unlike Noelle, I ended up drawing and placing the base color on the Vessel in the same day! (I forgot to mention it earlier but I mark my progress with how much I've done by the end of the day. And said progress is very inconsistent.) I remember getting stuck on the Vessel's hair for a while since there is no concrete hairstyle for them as it's the player's decision based on the options you are given. I ended up picking a really basic design as a placeholder and then never changed it... (Whoops...)

Remember when I said my progress was inconsistent? Take this one for example. Leaping from the last progress update where I completed the Vessel all in one go, here I simply added Noelle's face. Though I will admit, it took a while to nail down her expression, specifically her mouth. I remember playing around with an open or closed mouth design before landing on this one since I thought it made her look anxious and scared. At the time, I didn't know how to properly make mouths so that's why it's not matching the perspective...

Aaaaaand here's the final product! The final day primary consisted of me figuring out the blending tool in order to shade Noelle's skin and hair. I finally switched the background to the final color and added the text box with the Soul. I couldn't figure out where to find Deltarune fonts or how to import it into ProCreate so you got stuck with my attempt at decent handwriting instead! At this time, I didn't sign my art so there's no signature on this piece. Later I signed with my name and then I recently switched to my logo!

Well, this is the format I'll be using for the process posts. It's very long form so feel free to just look at the images and completely ignore the walls of text. I've never done anything like this before so explaining my work is pretty hard... Hopefully I'll get better with that too!

Next time, we'll be following the process for "Heart Behind The Strings" which is yet another long one. (Longer than this one!)

[levanterhaze]

✧ BLUE FLAME WITH JUNGKOOK ✧

→ jungkook x reader

→ word count: 2.6k

→ your noisy neighbor has been disturbing your nights, so you decide to take satisfaction. however, there is a fine line between satisfaction and pleasure.

→ warnings: masturbation, penetration, protected sex, lot of swearing, dirty talk and sloppy sex if you're not +18 please do NOT read. (i decided to write this after watching those 2 episodes of the sex life of college girls)

It was 10:54 PM.

It was the exact moment where it all began. First, there were the grunts and soft moans, then came the screams and the relentless clatter of the headboard banging the wall. And you were fed up with it.

Every night your neighbor would get some girl and end up disturbing your night's sleep. And it was derailed how the screams progressed further and further, being able to wake up the entire building. You wondered how they managed to be so loud. It was nasty.

But today was your day off. You were curled up on your comforter in your comfiest pajamas, watching a 90s rom-com and eating an extra greasy pizza when your sex maniac neighbor started the bedlam.

And every time you tried to be friendly, not caring too much about other people's sex lives, it was impossible to hear any line from the movie with that girl screaming her lungs out on the other side of the wall.

Yes, yes, Jungkook!

Oh my god, Jungkook!

At some point, you were starting to think that this guy must be a sex god so that all girls act the same way, always, all of them. Or they just faked it every time, which to be honest, was a bit suspicious.

The headboard slamming on the wall was so loud that you had to move your bed to stop yours from swaying too. Damn thin wall. The screams continued and it seemed that the girl was coming to an exquisite and long orgasm.

You walked up to the wall and threw two punches as if they’d hear over all those moans. “Can you be fucking quiet? Jesus."

Realizing you weren't going to be able to finish your precious movie, you just decided you'd better grab a coat and change and go for a long walk until the whole thing is over.

The next morning you heard giggles coming from the hallway and guessed the neighbor's girl was leaving. It was nearly seven in the morning, the time for you to go to the gym before work. Lucky that your condo has a private gym that residents could access for free.

No one was using it at the time, so you took the opportunity to do your routine exercises. Until a slender figure, dressed all in black and tattoos, appeared in your peripheral. You knew it was him, your neighbor. You happened to see him coming into his apartment the other day.

But dammit, he was really…attractive?

He gave a gentle good morning grin, revealing his lip piercing.

Jesus Christ.

You did the same, out of politeness. However, it was the ideal time to go up to him and finally tell him that he was bothering all your nights with that insane sex screaming that came from his house. You schemed how you would say it, as it's not a very nice subject and you had no other way of saying it than directly.

Jungkook was choosing some music on his phone when you slowly approached.

"Hey. You're Jungkook, right? I'm your neighbor."

"Hey. I know."

Does he know? All right, whatever.

“Look, I don't know how to say this properly, so I'll just say it. You are very noisy. Look, I understand that you love sex and you do it constantly but the wall is really, really thin. So I would really appreciate it if you could… You know…?”

You had no idea how your face felt, but you could feel the burning in your cheeks and the extreme sweat on your hands. You hate being put in uncomfortable situations where you have to step out of your comfort zone and deal with unpleasant things.

But that was a problem that needed to be settled.

Jungkook's lips draw a thin line as he bit back a smile, you can tell.

“Oh, okay. Can you lend me your phone?”

You blink a few times, wondering if you've misunderstood.

"Sorry?"

"Your number. That way you can let me know if I'm too loud."

He can't be serious.

You realize then that he is indeed being sincere when he reaches out for your phone. And you just hand him the device, being slightly distracted by the dozen drawings painted over his arm muscles.

“Thanks, I guess.” You hold the phone back and try to ignore his glare and that slutty smile that spreads across his lips when you drift away.

Almost two weeks passed and, incredible as it may seem, your neighbor seemed to have come to reality, because the insane noises had ceased for good. And you were even a little surprised, for a person who did that every day, going almost fifteen days without having sex, it seemed like a grand slam.

It was late at night and you were exhausted after working an eight-hour shift. Your friend had called to share some news about a date she had gone on extremely badly.

Until your nightmare started again.

"What the fuck? Are you watching porn while talking to me?” Your friend's voice was grossed out.

“It's my stupid neighbor. I swear to god, he’s a sex maniac. This is not normal."

"At least he is hot?" Your friend asks and you think too quickly about those muscles pressed by the black shirt. Thick, well-defined thighs in the shorts he'd been wearing to the gym. The broad shoulders… “Never mind. What will you do?"

“I'm going to stop him or call the police or something. I'll be right back, I'll call you later."

"Good luck."

"Thanks. I'll need it."

This time you were determined to make a fuss if possible. You could hear his groans from behind the wall and it was insane. You just wanted to close your eyes and go to sleep, without having to think about your extremely hot neighbor having sex right next to you.

You put on a robe and left the house. There were two loud knocks on the door and a long wait for Jungkook to answer the door. And honestly, you wish you hadn't. Because he looked like a Greek god with his long hair falling into his eyes, his shirt a little open, and his sweatpants hanging awkwardly on narrow hips.

Right. Focus. You're here for a reason.

“Good night, neighbor.” He beams sweetly, exposing the piercing, and you almost gulp strongly because he's too good-looking to be true.

“You’re doing it again.”

"Doing what?" He frowns, pretending to be baffled.

"You know very well." You point the finger at him. “I just want you to tell your friend to be quieter.I just want to sleep.”

“So I disturbed your sleep?”

"Yeah."

"Yeah?" He tongues his cheeks. “And what are you going to do about it?”

You didn't want to admit it, but an absurd heat rose in your body, spreading mainly between your legs.

“I could call the cops.” You cross your arms, trying to dismiss the flaming feeling in your body.

“Sounds like a plan.” He smiles and then looks over his shoulder. “Or you could come in.”

"In your house? With someone in there? Why on earth would I do that?”

Jungkook scowls, this time really looking stumped.

“There’s no one here.”

Oh.

Oh.

He seems to be amused by his accomplishment. “I should go back and…”

“I have good wine. You look tense. And I owe you an apology.”

OK. Wine sounds good. And you really were tense and it was because of him. And he really owed you an apology. You analyzed the situation for a few seconds before deciding that it was okay. If he really wanted to apologize, you could at least listen to him, that wouldn't hurt.

The interior of Jungkook's apartment was very clean and tidy. He appeared a few seconds later with two glasses of wine and indicated the sofa so you could both sit down. Inside, you were feeling a little bad because he was alone and the sounds you heard… That was a little too intimate.

"Then. Wine. Now the apologies.”

He drinks down his wine and then looks at you curiously.

“You missed something.” Jungkook stares at you earnestly. “You’re still tense.”

You gulp down the wine quickly, trying to disguise how sweaty you were by the way his eyes stared at you. "I’m fine. Thanks for the wine. I really need to go.” You get up quickly, but Jungkook follows you to the door.

“Or you could stay.”

He leaves the glass on the table and approaches slowly. You try to focus on his face and not that sinewy body walking towards you.

"And why would I do that?" Your voice comes out as a tired whisper.

Jungkook moves even closer and you shudder as you feel his warm breath blow over your skin. “Because you’re also disturbing my sleep.”

Fuck.

Your breathing is so shallow it's embarrassing. Your heart beats a mile a minute in your chest and you know he's noticed how much you're giving in to his charm, like magnetism. And the wine seems to loosen you up, untying all the tangles that bound your body, taking the tension out of every muscle at once.

And you feel so vulnerable. Your body is craving for his touch because your mind wanders on outrageous thoughts of Jungkook thinking about you while… It's crazy. You've always been so tired, not enough time to have a good night of casual sex, that maybe you could enjoy it. Just once.

You throw your sanity to hell and grab Jungkook's face just to kiss him. His arms envelop you deliciously and the world seems to burn with a burning desire in a blue flame. His lips are greasy and he tastes divine, the wine mixing with his essence so deliciously that you wail into his lips.

He helps you out of your robe and you can see it in the dim light as his pupils dilate at the sight of that stupid skimp nightgown, you're wearing. His hands are agile and large and you gasp as his thumbs graze the sides of your breasts and his body pushes you to the edge of the table. Jungkook slides between your legs, cupping your face and moving his lips down to your chin and then your neck.

“Jungkook…” You roll your eyes as his tongue wriggles across your skin, painfully crawling to your throbbing spot.

“Wanna taste you.” He whispers into your skin. “Wanna feel you so bad, baby. Fuck."

And you don't look out for the fact that your legs are parted so he would do anything to you. You were already sure you were past the shame stage and the alcohol was helping that aspect.

He continues kissing your skin as he squeezes your thigh and lifts the narrow fabric of your nightie to your waist. You hold back a loud sob when he touches you right where you want him. Then, Jungkook groans into your skin. “You're dripping. God."

And that was embarrassing, but what the hell. He shoves the fabric aside and you clasp the cloth of his shirt as his skin makes contact with yours. Jungkook looks at you, your brows are wrinkled and your lips are parted. It's quite a sight. He thrusts his fingers inside you, enjoying how easy it’s to slide inside you.

"Shit." You pull him closer. You spread your legs even wider, feeling your body gain immediate weakness. He touches you so unhurriedly as if he wants to see you suffer and it's nice and painful at the same time. "More."

“Need more?” He reaches until there’s no space left. And as much as he's fascinated by the sight of your pussy taking his fingers so hungrily, it's your face he focuses on. He kisses you clumsily, licks you, and sucks on your lips like he's starved for it. And he was. For you.

Your forehead sticks to his chest, hiding the rest with every eye roll. You drag him tight by his shirt, biting your lip to keep from moaning the loudest you've ever wanted to moan in your life. “Jungkook.” A restrained groan escapes your lips.

"I want to hear from you." He slows down and you look up in disbelief. “Let me hear you.”

“Please…” You plead softly, but he ignores it. Shit. "Harder, please!" Your voice comes out much stronger and he does exactly what you ask.

With his mouth, he trails kisses to your breasts and tugs at the fabric with his teeth until it falls gracefully across your shoulders, exposing your rawest skin. And his tongue devours you. He plays with your breasts, nibbles on your skin, and drives you wild.

You're almost there, your hips undulating quickly to maintain more touch.

You wanted more. You need more.

“Jungkook.” And he seems to understand your darkest desires because he pulls out a condom from God knows where and you're not surprised to see how hard he is, ready to ruin you.

Your feet are on the edge of the table and he's flattening your stomach, making you lie down.

“Shit, you’re so fucking hot.” He caresses his cock with one hand and your clit with the other, in equal rhythms. Your back arches with delectable friction and you think you're going to come right then and there, but he amazes you when he enters you. “So damn good for me.”

"My God!" You cry involuntarily and make your body shake.

His hand is pressing down on your stomach, but he's still touching your sore clit with his thumb, very slowly. He looks for your eyes to see if he can go faster and you don't hesitate to approve immediately.

He moves like a god. Hips crushing your skin, the sound of skin hitting skin. Nimble fingers traveling over your breasts. Your leg going up on his shoulders. Jungkook's long hair is damp and falling over his forehead. The tattooed arm presses you deliciously. It all felt like a lucid dream.

His whines are melodic and it makes you even more turned on knowing that he’s worshiping every moment of it just as you are. He hammers his hips harder, teeth clamping down on his lip until the skin’s whitened. There's a small crease in his forehead and you feel he's as close as you are.

You move your hips against him as much as possible, feeling that intense fire burns every cell, every inch of your body from the inside out.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck.” Jungkook cries, squeezing the edge of the table tightly as he lunges faster and faster, barely able to withstand the clench of your pussy on his cock

“I’m gonna…” You swallow hard, your voice cracking.

"I got you. Cum for me.”

And like magic words, your body convulses underneath Jungkook's body. Orgasm hits you hard, arching your back and melting your brain to jell-o. Jungkook lays down, licking your neck and then smooching your lips, making you devour erotic mutters in a hot, slippery kiss. He groans huskily and pleasurably in your ear and you pull his hair once more, just to end the kiss.

You're both sweaty and out of breath. He's still up and inside you. He is everywhere. The hickeys on your skin, the marks on your body, and the electrifying orgasm he just gave you.

“So…” Jungkook lifts his head, brushing the hair past your face. "Wine. You’re no longer tense. Do I still owe you an apology?”

You stare into those doe eyes and a laugh reverberates in your chest.

“I think we're good.”

[iguana-eyanna]

The Beauty Within Everything

Pairing: preserum! Steve Rogers x 1940s! reader

Summary: reader thinks Steve stood her up on their date but realizes he’s very ill

Warnings: illness, decline of physical health, angst

You were walking on the sidewalk, fuming with every step you took in your heels, cursing under your breath to whoever invented these shoes.

You were on your way to confronting Steve, your boyfriend, at his place.

You think back to the first time you met Steve at a park. You both sat on the same bench as you were reading a sort of novel while Steve was drawing something on paper. The wind blew strongly as he lost his grip on the piece, flying beside your feet. You pick it up and give it to him, looking down to realize he was drawing you.

You both blush at each other as you complimented his talent and he commented on your beauty. Then on, you guys have been dating for a couple of months.

Now, you were beyond upset about Steve avoiding you for the past week. He promised to take you out on a date, but then stood you up on the very night. You tried calling his telephone but he never picked up the line. Now you arrived on his doorstep, knocking on the door loudly. What you didn't expect was for Bucky, his best friend, to greet you.

"Hi, angel face. What brings you here?" Bucky tiredly asked. "I can ask the same for you, it looks like you haven't slept in days." you replied. Before Bucky could rebut, you invite yourself in looking for any sign of your boyfriend.

"Now's not a good time to visit Steve, doll." Bucky says, trying to usher you out. "That charm won't work on me Bucky. I have been beyond worried about why Steve hasn't been responding to my calls. Is he alright?" You ask, not realizing a figure is shuffling to the two of you.

"You shouldn't have come." a voice croaked out, coughing afterward. You turn around and gasp lightly, looking at a very ill Steve. His skin was pale as snow, and it looked like he was prying to keep his eyes open for a bit longer. Steve tries to take another step but almost falls down to his knees.

You and Bucky catch him in time, as you could feel your boyfriend going limp in your arms. "Help me take him to his bed." Bucky gritted his teeth as he properly held Steve on his side. The both of you took him to his mattress as you opened his blankets so Bucky can tuck in his friend. Steve's eyes were partly closed, but you both can tell he was drifting off to sleep. You sweep his hair out of his eyes and then follow Bucky to the living room.

"What happened?" you whispered lightly, trying not to wake him up. Bucky looks down to the ground, not wanting to break the news to you. "When Steve was a kid, the doctor said that he has a weak immune and respiratory system. Since then, he's had a lot of fevers in a span of months, up to the point where he contracts pneumonia twice a year. I've been staying with him for the past week in case something happens." You sit on a nearby chair, feeling your heart aching for Steve's health.

"This has been going on for years? Why hasn't he said anything? I would have understood if-" Bucky rolls his eyes and sits next to you. "You know him, he's stubborn as a piece of wood. But I think he was scared you'd reject him." Bucky sadly admitted. You stare at a nearby window, trying to think.

You stood up and grabbed your purse "I'll go to the market to buy some things. I'll take care of him. You need to go home and get some rest." Bucky was too tired to fight you on it, so he waited for your return.

You came back with bags of groceries as Bucky helped you carry them to the empty fridge. Before he left, he gave you instructions on how to help steve if he had a coughing fit or if he wasn't able to hold himself.

"Remember, he may have the will of ten men, but he's delicate." You nod your head and lock the door once Barnes leaves. You then started making a pot of your signature soup to pass time in case Steve wakes. Suddenly you hear him coughing uncontrollably, so you turned off the fire and grabbed a glass of water.

Seeing him sitting up with his chest heaving made your heartstrings pull. You then tended to him as you offered to Steve the cup that he gradually took.

Once his breathing slows to a normal rhythm, he looks up to you with such heartbreak. "You should go, I don't want to be a burden." he said the best he could.

You sit in front of him by the foot of the bed, ready to scold the living heck out of him. "I am not going anywhere, mister. You still owe me an apology for standing me up this past week. I was worried sick, Steve. Why would you keep this from me?"

“Cause I didn't want you to be looking at me like this." He replied in a small voice.

"You know I would have understood, you shouldn't have kept me in the dark." You told him, not breaking eye contact. Steve's eyes begin to water and cleaned them away with his sleeve.

"When I recently got sick, I realized something. I’m not the man who could carry you in my arms and kiss you with every ounce in my body without wheezing. I'm not the man who's able to provide for you, like giving you pretty dresses or sweet-smelling perfumes. Heck, I can't even afford you a rose” Steve said as his voice was breaking.

"And now you're spending your money to feed your poor pathetic boyfriend back to health. Can't you see I'm nothing but trouble for you?" He concludes, staring at you. You pause for a bit, reflecting on the words he uttered from his mouth.

"Not once have I ever thought you were weak, Steve. Dear God, I think you're one of the bravest men I know. So please, don't bring yourself down because you can't perform these things you've fantasized about doing. I have never cared for extravagant gifts and just having you in my life is more than enough. You taught me so much about life and the beauty within everything around me. That's why I..." you close in to take his hand on top of your beating heart.

"I love you. I love you so much that it hurts me to think you can't rely on me when you're in so much pain. So please Steve, don't push me away when we both know we were made for each other."

Steve's face softens as he begins to cry. You begin to tear up as you pull him into your chest, comforting him with all that you could give.

"What did I deserve to be with you?" he hiccuped.

"Everything, love. Everything, and more." you replied, lightly combing the back of his hair with your fingers.

Steve lets go of you and wiped away his tears, regaining his breath.

“How can I make up for the past week?” he asks, knitting his eyebrows with determination.

“You can make it up to me by telling the truth from now on. No more secrets between us. And I am nursing you back to health, starting with a soup I just made.” You told him.

Steve nods his head and feels his stomach rumble just from the mention of food. "Well, I am hungry." he sheepishly smiles. You laugh at his reply and got up to fetch a bowl of soup. You return back with the food and Steve holds his hand to feel the warmth of the bowl. Once he starts consuming it, his eyes roll to the back of his head and almost made a moaning sound.

"This is the most amazing meal I've had in a long time." Steve announced, making you laugh harder. He's happy that he made you smile, realizing how much he missed hearing the sound of your voice.

She was his rock, and he wouldn't have it any other way.

[4aloysius-porteu]

i am your ally || tsukishima kei.

pairing; tsukishima kei x f! reader

genre: oneshot, drama, flangst, a little comedy

word count: 5.6k

details: 3rd year Tsukishima, artist reader

warnings: reader going missing, verbal abuse, crushing of dreams, lots of sadness, heavy parental argument, everything that happens here hits home

synopsis: tsukishima didnt know what is the right thing to say after he heard of (y/n)’s situation, but the words that stumbled out from his mouth were a surprise, yet it blossomed to a meaningful talk that happens once in a blue moon.

(a/n): wrote in the middle of my depressing days to find a little comfort from this character that I love with all my heart. inspired by true situations irl; if you, my friend, is feeling down today, i hope reading this work of mine can help. i might make this into a full story if this got enough attention tho.

(Y/N) was nowhere to be found. 

It wasn't Tsukishima's habit to eavesdrop on other people's conversation, but he couldn't help but listen when he heard her name from her classmates. She was a consistent top student that will never neglect her studies, so it was unusual to know that she was absent today. He thought that maybe she got sick or she decided to go crazy and skip school. If it was the latter, he hoped that she knows what she's doing, because midterms are coming in 3 days, and he's not going to listen to her whines and begs to help her study for the tests.

And now he just happened to overhear that she was missing. 

He saw her parents walk out of the campus after talking to the vice-principal and to the teachers. Gossip filled the corridors and rooms. Tsukishima went back to his room, clearly annoyed with the unnecessary noise.

He listened to the lectures of each subject and continued to write down important points, but the thought of (Y/N) lingered in his head. What could've happened that led to her disappearance? Was she kidnapped? No, he just walked her home last night and she'll never leave her place past midnight. Kidnappers won't dare to make a move in daylight because of the town's high authority visibility. There's no way she'll be lost in an area she's very familiar with. 

She ran away from home. That is the only logical possibility he could come up with, but he couldn't think of an idea as to why. (Y/N), who loves to be cooped up in her room with music blaring in her earphones while drawing, left her home without a trace. Tsukishima was a little worried, but he won't let his face show whatever the hell he's feeling. 

His plays and blocks aren't exactly bad, but Yamaguchi could sense that Tsukishima was thinking of something other than the volleyball practice. He approached his friend who was resting on the floor, his long arms covering his curled up legs. 

"Tsukki, what's with that expression? Did you get a failing score in a quiz?" Yamaguchi started, in an attempt to lighten up the atmosphere. 

The blonde's eyes darted to him, "Like hell, I'm going to let that happen. What do you want?"

He shrugged, "Nothing, I just noticed that you were a little quieter and more passive today. Normally, you would've chewed the first years out with their simple blocking errors, but you didn't say a thing. You're scarier in their eyes when you're silent."

"I was tired. I'll only waste my voice pointing out something I did a million times." A sigh escaped his lips 

"Right..." Yamaguchi paused, "So, I assume you have heard?"

"Heard of what?"

"That (Y/N) is missing."

"Oh," A frown fell on his features. It wasn't his usual frown. People who really know him would notice that his eyes are full of worry. 

He sat beside Tsukishima before he spoke again. "I know you have ideas on places (Y/N) could've gone to."

"I do not know what you're talking about."

The latter chuckled, "Oh, humor me, Tsukki. If you're that worried, I can excuse you for today's practice. No problem."

"Does that mean that you aren't concerned?"

"I am concerned. I want to look for her as well, but I have to whip the other players into shape. I'm sorry if I couldn't accompany you right away."

Tsukishima stood up and sighed again, "You will excuse me, you said?"

"Yeah."

There were silence and the background noise of balls and shoes colliding on the floor. He wiped the sweat off his face before replying, "I'll be leaving the gym in a few minutes."

He changed his clothes and packed his things up, causing the team to exchange glances.

"Tsukki!" Yamaguchi called, throwing his friend's large jacket to him, which the other caught. "Take care! I hope you find (Y/N) and get her home safe."

"I wish. Then, I'll leave it to you, Captain."

The green-haired middle blocker's eyes teared up and sparkled as he beamed a smile back, "I got it!"

Tsukishima started to look for (Y/N) at the places she liked to go to; the art store, the Central Park, the kid's playground, the museum, and the prefectural library. But there was no sign of her anywhere. He looked at the nearby places to no avail. He walked on while dialing her number, but her phone is out of coverage area. He spent 3 more hours finding the girl and soon received a message from Yamaguchi, telling him that (Y/N) hasn't been found yet and that he joined the authorities to help them find her. 

He walked back to the direction of his home, panting softly. He had failed to find (Y/N), yet his brain won't stop thinking about her possible whereabouts. The cool breeze of winter hit Tsukishima's face and shivered at the contact. He had hoped again that she is inside of an establishment, safe from such cold weather.

Tsukishima's home has its lights out. Her mother was invited into her colleagues' reunion as said in her text, and both his father and brother are busy at work. He reached for his key in his pocket and was opening the door, not until he heard a loud sob from somewhere. Tsukishima looked around the place as the sobbing continued. He searched for the source and ended up in their backyard. He caught the sight of a small figure behind the bushes and went closer to confirm.

It was a cat. It had scurried away once he got close to it. Oh, how stupid he is to get his hopes up only to find a scared animal. But he was certain he heard a sob somewhere near. And cats aren't capable of making a sound like that. Or maybe he was only hearing things?

He dragged his feet to the main door to unlock it, but this time, there was a loud noise of scrubbing on the roof. What is it this time? He moved back and looked upon where it came from. 

To his surprise, it wasn't another cat but a person. Their legs were curled up, arms covered around them, with their chin on their knees. Tsukishima turned on his phone's flashlight and there she was. 

It was (Y/N). Her shoulders shook, either from the cold or trying her best not to cry out loud. 

"H-Help me."

He stared at the girl, confused and fighting back laughter because of how scared (Y/N) looked. "How the heck did you get in there?"

"I climbed that tree and jumped off to break in and hide in your room. Turned out that the windows are locked. I don't know how to jump back and I-I was too high from the ground. You know I'm scared of heights! Why did you lock the window?! Stupid!"

"Of course, I would lock the window for the security. And wow, aren't you the stupid one for knowing how to climb and jump up to my window and not knowing how to get down? Why did you climb if you are scared of heights? Such an idiot."

"Fine, fine. I am an idiot. Now, can you help me get off this roof?"

He crossed his arms and smirked, "No."

"Ugh! Please, Kei. I've been trapped here for hours. I am begging you to help me get down. Please?"

He sighed in defeat and raised his arms. "Here. Jump."

For seconds, (Y/N) didn't respond as she was having second thoughts about jumping.

"What? Do you expect me to get a ladder? I'm sorry, but it's in the basement, broken." He said in a mocking tone. "Don't you want to come down?"

"Can you catch me properly? Are your arms stable? Won't you fall on your ass?" (Y/N) interrogated.

Tsukishima rolled his eyes, "Alright, stay there and freeze to death."

"No, wait! I was just asking! Come back! Don't leave meeee!"

The blonde looked up to her and raised his arms again, "Don't think. Trust me, I will catch you properly and you won't crash to the ground. You weigh like nothing anyway."

"Are you talking about yourself?" She retorted, pertaining to his weight.

"Can you please just jump?"

(Y/N) inhaled and went to the edge of the roof. It was a scary view for her, just looking down makes her dizzy, and want to throw up.  She thought he would have the largest frown on his face because of how irritatingly slow she was, but there was Tsukishima waiting for her with the calmest expression. She smiled a little.

"Here I go..."

She took off, closing her eyes, and swallowing her fears. The gravity pulled her feet down shortly after, and Tsukishima readied himself for the impact as he reached her waist. He held on to her lower torso while (Y/N) placed her arms around his shoulders tightly and legs on his waist. The athlete's balance slightly went off, so he took a step back to support both their weights. It was now steady. 

"I'm surprised you didn't lose your balance. Where's the weak boned beanpole 3 years ago?"

"I did for a second."

"Doesn't matter. You caught me. Thank you."

They had stayed in that way for a moment until Tsukishima spoke, "Do you plan to get off?"

"No. I'm tired."

"I am too." Yet she refused to let go.

He exhaled, carrying (Y/N) to the main entrance and finally unlocking the door. Her hoodie was cold and some parts are wet, but it didn't rain on that day. He took her in and placed her on the couch. Tsukishima went to his room, changed clothes, and brought a spare sweatshirt, handkerchief, and a towel. He went down but didn't find (Y/N) where he left her, so he walked to the kitchen counter and found the girl on the corner, shivering like a pup.

He tossed the clothing at her without further words. There was a note from her mom beside the curry in the table, saying she had eaten and she left rolls in the refrigerator. He was about to turn on the stove to reheat the food his mother left, but his eyes landed on (Y/N) who sat quietly, hugging the sweatshirt instead of wearing it. Her hair was disheveled, the sleeves and neck part of her hoodie was damp, her nose was red and her puffy, bloodshot eyes implied that she has been crying for who knows how long. He set the pan down to get her a glass of water. 

"Everyone was looking for you." Said Tsukishima.

"No one was really looking for me." (Y/N) replied, clearing her nose. 

"I didn't spend the last 3 hours tiring myself to scan the whole town for no reason." He sat beside her, handing the glass. "Care to spill the tea?"

(Y/N) drank first before speaking weakly, "I hate them. So much."

The male remained quiet, waiting for her to continue her dilemma.

"Remember when I told you and the class that I will be the most successful doctor in Japan after I finished my studies? It was a lie. It wasn't my dream to stay in a hospital and treat ill people, I only wanted to draw and paint. I didn't care if it never made them or anyone happy, I am happy doing it. And they are taking it away from me."

He knew from the start that her dream job as a doctor wasn't true. For years she stayed close to him as a friend or more, she won't blabber anything of the medical topic. She was terrified of syringes. He saw her reading an article about surgeries and like, but her focus was easily taken away.

She will get a pencil then start scribbling and drawing. Something that Tsukishima always sees her doing whenever she has a pen and paper, but she insists that it was a mere hobby. Her notebooks are well designed and organized, but the back is always full of artistic doodles instead of algebra solutions. She only has very few art materials yet she can make a portrait with only her fingers to shade. She makes digital art without a stylus. She would drag him to the museum after class to view some western and eastern paintings or any work of art while he admires the dinosaur fossils. For times she's watching an art tutorial and talk about art, draw and paint, she has those stupid sparkles in her eyes and a huge smile on her face. 

"You know Tsukishima, after I finish studying and became a doctor, I'll become an artist and if the time let's it, I'll open my own art gallery. That's my ultimate dream." She looked alive and delighted.

Very much the opposite of what she looks like right now. 

Even though she was a slave of art, as Tsukishima was a slave of his own interests, (Y/N) prioritized her studies so much. He understood why when he went to her house and met her parents before their study sessions. He had noticed everything but chose to stay quiet. 

"I-I was drawing last night. Dad entered my room but I didn't notice so he ripped the music away from my ears and yelled. He said that I would always lock myself in my room and draw every night. It was never-ending and irritates the shit out of him. He asked why would I do something so useless that isn't even connected to any academic subject. He was looking down on my art like he was looking at a piece of crap. He told me to stop and threatened me if I didn't. Why would I get punished for drawing? I couldn't get myself to stay silent so I retorted. If he doesn't want to see me drawing, then he shouldn't enter my room at all. He should stop meddling with my hobbies. His anger only went up."

(Y/N) stopped for a while to wipe her tears and snot with her sleeves but Tsukishima placed a handkerchief on her hands. She muttered her thanks and blew her nose and soon followed with a sneeze.

"Soon, it became a full-blown argument. He said that he was checking out if I was doing my projects, but oh he was so disappointed only to find his daughter drawing for nothing. What the heck? I gave them the best grades I could get, and part of it was because of you, Tsukishima, but they still aren't satisfied? I balanced drawing and academics, but they made it seem that all I was doing was my hobby, completely ignoring my efforts at school. I finished the school activities and I reviewed for midterms and all I want is to be left alone and draw. What, they want me to go crazy by studying every hour with things I won't even apply in real life?"

Her fake laughter echoed in the kitchen for seconds before her depressed tone took over again.

"Mom heard all the shouting and joined the argument. Of course, she sided with dad without listening to my feelings and there they ridiculed their youngest child's interests and talent. They told me that everything I do is bullshit and wrong, that I was useless, that I was the huge opposite of their expectations, and... and how come God gave them a joke. She said they raised me so that I could help them, not to do such useless things. It hurts to shout back but I did to explain why I'm so passionate about art in hopes that they will listen and understand but, I was so wrong. I was suddenly slapped..." She placed her hand to her left cheek, her lips quivered a little. 

"I-It stung so much. Mom complained about how the Internet generation is so rebellious and won't listen to the elders. They didn't raise and teach me to talk back at them, but here is their child being a bitch. They started comparing me to my elder siblings or relatives who focused on their studies and who are at the door of success. I know they only want me to achieve the best, but my success isn't up to them! It's on me!! And I've invested a lot for that! They shouted at me as mom pulled my hair. It was so loud I thought I was going deaf. Dad blamed the gadget's influence and my drawings. I have only drawn decent fanarts of fictional characters, people, and sceneries, but they believed that because of these, I turned into a mannerless bastard. So mom decided to get my phone and lessen my allowance so that I wouldn't buy any art materials that are a waste of fortune--"

She bit her lower lip that is trembling uncontrollably and her eyesight blurred as her fat tears got in the way.

"and... D-Dad... he... he... he tore m-my sketch pad apart..."

Tsukishima's eyes widened. (Y/N) brought that thing with her almost everywhere she went and it was filled with good drawings and art plans. She has a lot of them though, but Tsukishima could only imagine how she felt when her efforts were trampled over by someone important to her. 

(Y/N) broke down, bawled her eyes out, and shrieked hysterically. He looked at her with a heavy heart. He had seen her crying sometimes, be it because of a sad movie or empathy, but never like this. A depressed, emotional wreck. Her eyes were sore enough after a lot of hours, but she won't stop crying. It was heartbreaking to see and hear his significant other in this state, yet Tsukishima didn't know what is the right thing to say. 

But maybe there was no need to say anything at all.

Kei wrapped his arms around her weeping figure and pulled her towards him. Cry it out, pipsqueak. (Y/N) didn't expect this action, nonetheless cried in his shoulder He didn't care anymore if this meant he gets his clothes drenched in her snot and tears as long as she felt a little less lonely. He rubbed her back and hair in an attempt to comfort his lover. (Y/N)'s airways hurt, but she screamed the pain out, in hopes that the pain in her heart would vanish. Her weeping went on for long minutes until she choked in her own sobs that Tsukishima had to get her another glass of water.

"Tell me, Kei." She began, wiping her eyes, "Is there... something wrong with me? Is my dream really that insignificant?"

"There's nothing wrong with you. You followed your ideals. Anyone including me would've done the same." He answered beside her.

"I-It's realistic, right?"

"It is."

"Then... why did it turn out like this?" Her voice was cracking.

Tsukishima looked down, "The society is just very cruel."

"Yeah. It sure is. Such a cruel society to live with." 

(Y/N) let out a dejected sigh and leaned on Tsukki's shoulder. "I couldn't look at them without such overwhelming fear and hate anymore. I wonder if... they knew that I was doing this for them. I'd like to make them smile with something I've made myself. Once, I made each of them a portrait. A realistic one made from a pencil. I couldn't afford a material set that can be used to paint realistically, but I tried my best to impress them with a charcoal one. Oh, if only you saw their faces when I gave them the portraits. They returned a half-hearted smile. It wasn't the same kind of joy I see whenever I give them perfect scores on tests. I didn't spend 3 sleepless nights just to see their half happy, half unpleased reaction. I wish they could feel more proud of their daughter who worked hard for them... I wonder if they threw it away as he did on my sketch pad..." 

They let silence engulf the atmosphere for a while. (Y/N) had calmed down a little, despite shedding smaller tears from the side of her eyes. Tsukishima held the sweatshirt he gave her earlier to make her wear it on the top of her hoodie to lessen her shivering. He stared at her, while the other gazed down on the floor with dead eyes.

Tsukishima asked, "So, what are you going to do now?"

"What am I going to do now huh..." (Y/N) repeated. "I'll probably... put everything to an end."

"You know I won't let you."

"I'm not talking about my life, silly. I might stop drawing and all. I've lost it."

"Isn't your life and drawing one and the same? And I'm pretty sure you have that immense talent to continue."

"No... Besides, talent isn't a talent if it doesn't make anyone happy."

The blonde mentally scoffed. She just said that it makes her happy in the beginning.

"Oh? Fine, stop doing that one thing you put everything into. What would that girl you received a commission from would feel if she were to hear you though?"

(Y/N) was stunned. She had completely forgotten about the whole commission thing she opened in her social media accounts. Tsukishima accompanied (Y/N) on giving the commissioned charcoal portrait to a girl last 3 weeks ago. It was (Y/N)'s first commission for years she's making art. Someone liked her work for the first time and paid for it, and her client looks very contented and glad. The words she said filled her thoughts with inspiration.

"Wow, this is awesome! I'm so happy!! Thank you for making this, it was exactly what I've pictured on my mind! You're amazing! All the excitement I've bottled up for this day is so worth it," The girl, probably a little older than them paused and admired the painting she received from (Y/N).

"Would you ignore those words she said?"

 'Please don't stop drawing, I'll be looking forward to your future works!' 

A pang of guilt hit her chest. She wants to pursue art, but there are these shackles and chains on her limbs and around her neck that made it hard for her to move forward. She couldn't breathe. What happened yesterday night was too much. Her parents went overboard. 

"B-But—"

A monotone voice interrupted her, "Don't. Never stop striving for something you have been building for years. You might be defeated now, but surely, you will win some time. There's no way you'll stay in the lowest level of the ladder after I saw how hard you worked. You will go to nationals again, and I will continue to support you. I'll cheer for you and stay by your side! So please, do not stop! Let me see those beautiful blocks that you execute in the game once more! And I will watch you reach the top! Doesn't matter how many times, I'll never get weary of watching you do amazing things!"

She was silenced by that statement. She had definitely heard those before, but couldn't quite remember where. 

"Does the sentiment seem familiar to you? Those are the same words that came from your mouth when I was planning to quit volleyball after our huge loss to Date Tech last year. I am returning them back to you."

"Huh?" She replied with a meek voice.

"That time, you really did a good job meddling with my decisions. It annoyed me first, but what you had stated held a weight that I couldn't disregard. You gave me the small push I didn't know I needed. In the end, I'd like to pay you back." Tsukishima stated with a far away look in his eyes.

(Y/N) listened with watery eyes. This Tsukishima's side isn't definitely the one she gets to see every day so she couldn't feel anything but the warm, fuzzy feeling that is healing her heart. 

"It's probably selfish for me to say this but, don't you dare give up. I didn't stop. No matter how long and hard the game is, no matter how tired and discouraged I get, and no matter how many pessimistic thoughts clouded my head, I didn't stop chasing after a falling ball and thinking of another tactic to counter the enemy. I kept your words with me in court. It was you who told me not to in the first place, and I'm not going to forgive you if you ever dropped everything. I won't let the stupid, starry-eyed (Y/N) die today."

The girl beside her started sobbing. "But you told me once that my drawing are ugly."

"Oh. That. I... kind of remember that. I'm not sorry about what I said because I did it to provoke and rile you up. It was a lie though. As someone who always sees you drawing, I can't call your work ugly at all. Your art is... astounding. You make it look like it's so easy to do. I think you forgot next sentence after I told you that."

"What was the sentence after?"

Tsukishima sighed, "I told you to keep doing it, right?"

The sound of (Y/N) crying engulfed the kitchen, "Oh gosh, why did I forget that... I'm sorry, I'm so idiotic..."

The blonde brought her back to his arms, "Will you stop crying, you've been too hard on yourself today,"

(Y/N) hid her face on his chest, muffling her speech, "c-couldn't help it... my mind is such a mess... I do not know..." She paused, coughing. "It's no use if m-my parents don't acknowledge me..."

"Hundreds, or perhaps thousands of people who follow you on social media account recognize you. People in school recognizes you. I recognize you. I am your ally. Isn't that enough reason for you to get back on your feet? I will support you just like how you supported me. You have a lot of people who admire you, but I only have a few people and you. Yet your words are enough. I'm certain that soon, you will reach your parents' standards and get them to acknowledge you. It's not impossible."

(Y/N) fixed her tear-stained face before looking up to him, "You know what? Who are you? Is a good spirit possessing your body? The Kei I know will either stay quiet or laugh at me for being pathetic."

"I was trying to be nice for once and this is what I get?" He frowned.

(Y/N) chuckled and hugged Tsukishima, "I'm sorry. Everything you said meant the world to me. Thank you very much."

She relaxed against his lean body, "I have a question though..."

"What?"

"You literally had no business in my art, it was my own problem. Why are you doing this?"

"Why don't you ask yourself after you argued with me that night? Why did you have to butt in with my choices?"

"Because you like volleyball! You might look like that someone stole your dinosaur collection when you're at practice, but you're good at it and have a future in it! It is a part of you, and you're deciding to throw it away? Your potential is too big to be wasted and I refuse to let that happen." Her voice is a little louder now, but hoarse.

"There's your answer, little gremlin."

"How is that— Oh."

"But I'd like to add something."

"What is it?"

"You look better doing what you really like. It makes you look less like a hag."

It was silent after that. (Y/N) punched his arm. Tsukishima didn't even wince but asked, "What was that for?"

"The last statement was unnecessary, and the first one is sweet yet cringey." She criticized. 

"C'mon, I'm just a teenager. Aren't you the cringey one most of the times?"

She used the handkerchief to sniffle her runny nose away, "Why do you have a knack of returning everything I said to me?"

"I won't do it if it's not appropriate." Tsukishima placed his hands on her back and to her hair, "So, what are you going to do now, (Y/N)?"

"I'll think things through. My brain is still slightly messy, but I'll be fine, thanks to you. But Kei..."

He hummed as a response. "I don't want to go home. I want to run away."

"Not possible. You can't survive on your own. You're almost 18 and until now, you don't understand how a washing machine works with all your perfect scores in exams."

"This is just a thought. I didn't say I'll be alone. I'm taking you with me."

"I refuse."

"Why?"

"Couldn't you wait for more months until we graduate?"

(Y/N)'s eyebrows raised, "So basically, you're agreeing, but not this time?"

"No, but you'll be free of your parents' suffocating control. Who knows how huge is your potential by that time."

"How considerate of you." The girl smiled.

"Only this time. And no, we won't live in the same place in college. Not yet. Not until we finish our studies, have secured jobs, and get important things done." 

"Will you be playing volleyball at college?"

He lazily replied, "Probably."

"Don't give me such an ambiguous answer!"

"Probably yes." 

"Hmm. Fine by me. I'll continue to draw, then." (Y/N) rested her head near Tsukishima's neck. 

He smiled a little at her answer, "Another thing though. I don't think... you should leave things with your parents like that. There'll be a time where you have to face it."

"Yes, that sucks... I don't want to think about it but I'll have to go back eventually... When that confrontation happens, I'll try to calmly talk it out with them. I will never be certain if it will end well. But my hate and fear of them won't change."

"You can always run back here if it didn't end well."

"Kei, don't want to see their faces just yet. Can I stay here for a while?"

"You even bother to ask. You are welcome anytime in this household. Just enter the house in the front door, not in my window."

"Right... thank you."

"Oh, now it's my turn to ask. How did you get in there?"

(Y/N) sighed, "It was on 4:30pm. I was on the loose and I looked for a store where anyone can't recognize me so I can eat for lunch. But there's this creep who kept on following me—"

"Did he hurt you?" He abruptly questioned.

"No. I ran as fast as I could before he could even get close to me, but in the next block, there were the town authorities with my mom, and I knew they were looking for me, so I blended into the people with my hoodie on and made my way. I climbed the tree in panic that they'll find me and hid there. It took me hours to notice that your house is just next to it, so I decided to climb to your window. However, the window was locked, and I was stuck."

Tsukishima sighed in relief. "It was a miracle that a klutz like you didn't fell off the tree and surprisingly, no one found you."

"I was high in adrenaline when I climbed the tree. My blending and hiding skills are in ninja-tier now, I beat you."

"Whatever. What did you have for breakfast?"

"...a melon bread."

"Just that?"

"Just that." 

Tsukishima kissed her forehead before lifting her up with him. "Go change. Borrow any of my clothes. I'll reheat the food."

(Y/N) kissed his cheek, slowly got off him and went upstairs. Tsukishima opened his phone to text Yamaguchi about her situation and proceeded to reheat the spicy curry. 

"Wait, Kei! Is it okay for me to eat?" She shouted from upstairs.

"What kind of question is that? Of course you can." He shouted back.

"Your mom left that for you, for your dad and for your brother. I'd feel bad."

"My brother and dad will come home late and I'm sure they've eaten already. So is mom."

"Are you sure? I can replace the food." She said while going down the stairs.

"Oh, you can cook? I'm afraid you'll burn the whole kitchen." He mocked.

"At least not the whole house." (Y/N) laughed, "Just kidding, I have a tiny knowledge in cooking."

"You don't have to, I told you they already ate. I'll bring out the sushi mom made if you still want to eat."

"Alright. Thank you for the food."

Few hours later, Tsukishima's mom came home and took off her shoes. "I'm home."

As she was about to enter the living room, Akiteru greeted her and placed his finger in front of his lips, indicating her to keep quiet. She wondered what was going on and saw her youngest son and his girlfriend leaning on his shoulder, asleep on the couch in front of the TV. He signaled her to read the note Kei left on the table. 

To mom, dad, and brother,

Earlier in the morning, (Y/N) went missing and her parents and town authorities were looking for her. I found her on the way home, but it turns out that she ran away from her home because of an intense argument between her parents, and doesn't want to be found yet. Please let her stay here for a while. I'll do most of the household chores or any favor you ask me in return. 

Mom, I shared the curry and sushi rolls with her. I left for some for dad and brother. (Y/N) said it was very delicious. 

Love, 

Kei.

She smiled after reading the note and looked at the sleeping kids. She took notice of (Y/N)'s eyes and quickly understood the situation. Before she left to rest in her room, she looked for a spare blanket and laid it atop them to keep them warm. 

(Y/N) snuggled further to Tsukishima's arms, satisfied on how this night will end well, unlike yesterday's.

©4aloysius.porteu.2021. please do not repost, copy, or edit. plagiarism is punishable by law.

[imagines-by-a-typical-fangirl]

Unexpected Places (Pt. 04 of 11)

Pairing: Ivar the Boneless X Reader/Bjorn X Reader

Word count: 3 K

Summary: As a princess, you've lived in a golden cage all your life, always a piece on someone else's game. But everything changed when the Norsemen came crushing down on Wessex, like waves in a violent storm. Their king spared your life and decided to take you with him to his kingdom, in what felt more like a rescue than a kidnapping. There, you were not only confronted with a completely different culture and lifestyle, but also with two of his sons. The oldest one has his eyes set on you, but it's the youngest one, Ivar, who gets who claimed your attention since the first sight. And he seems to have an unnamed interest in you. Of course you hoped whatever that was would pass, but when unexpected feelings start to flow a different way, things begin to change.

<- Previous part (03)

Next part (05) ->

{Vikings Masterlist}

×

Fit For a Princess

You're listening to the chattering between Aslaug and Helga, looking at pieces of jewelry at the market place. You say something every now and then, but you can't shake away Ivar's stare. On the last days, two weeks or so, he's right there, sitting across from you on every meal, eyes burning through you. Hvitserk said he's studying you, still expecting you to snap, to decide you had enough of all this and want to go back home. To Wessex, where your older brother now rules. And Ragnar already said he'd take you back if you wanted, so there's that.

But leaving Kattegat hasn't even crossed your mind, not before and not now. How could you trade all you have here, and slide back into the invisible chains you had on? It wouldn't be just stupid, it would be the death of you. You're finally understanding who you are, the things you like, the kind of people you like. In England, you had to play a specific role, because everything was political. Here, you're just who you are. And you do what you want to do. This is true freedom.

“I really like this one,” Helga says, as your eyes wander through the many rings, earrings, and necklaces. “I'd like those two as well.” She continues as you pace around, further away from both women, turning the corner and then walking to another store. The pieces they have here are all made of metal, delicately bent into beautiful shapes. You caress a bracelet with the tip of your fingers, wondering if it'd look good on you.

“Don't waste your time with these cheap things.” The voice, that you now recognize immediately, makes you turn around. Ivar comes from among the people, only stopping when he's standing next to you.

But despite his attention being on the jewelry, your eyes are on him. “You're tall.” It comes out suddenly, because he never stood beside you like this, so you couldn't have noticed.

“Well, you're tiny.” Ivar glances at you, playing with one of the rings. “Anyway, you shouldn't be looking at these things. They won't suit you very well.”

Giving the old man an apologetic look, you randomly pick a bracelet. You don't get why Ivar is being rude, but, judging by what Hvitserk had told you, his brother isn't one to hold back. He says what he thinks, it doesn't matter how mean it may sound to others. You're still trying to figure out if this level of brutal honesty is good or bad. “I really like this one.” Searching on the small bag attached to your dress, you take four coins, way more than what the bracelet is worth, handing it over to the man and putting the bracelet on. The silver color is beautiful, and the drawings carved on it remind you of the pattern you saw on one of the boats that brought you here.

Ivar rolls his eyes exaggeratedly, sighing. “You are such a kind princess.” Dropping the ring, he starts walking side by side with you when you set in motion through the market. You weren't expecting that.

“King Ecbert was king of Wessex. This isn't Wessex.”

“(Y/N)! Wait for us.” Aslaug calls and you stop, giving her a look and a nod before turning to face Ivar, who towers over you.

“Therefore, I'm not a princess anymore.” Shrugging your shoulders, you give him a small smile.

“That's a shame, isn't it?” He lowers his voice, leaning closer.

“Not really.” Shrugging your shoulders, you give a little step back, putting a strand of hair behind your ears before giving him a little wave, walking back to where both women are.

After they're done shopping, as you walk back home, the clouds push themselves apart just enough for the sunlight to appear. That makes you stop, taking in the warmth on your skin, but it soon disappears.

“Hey, (Y/N),” Hvitserk calls, coming from the beach with his father, Ubbe and Bjorn, who's walking behind them. “We're going to meet some traders. Wanna come?”

“Why not?” You mumble, elbowing Hvitserk when he's close enough.

“Go put on some pants then. We're riding there.”

“Oh.” It's so absurd it's stupid, how you can't seem to do the simple things people know by heart here. “I'm not very good at riding.” Whispering, you tell him, not wanting anyone else to listen.

“I'll help you out.” He nods, tilting his head to where Bjorn is. “Without cracking your head open in the process.”

Smiling you nod before heading inside to change out of the dress. You're just about to head out when Aslaug tells you to grab a cloak in case it rains later, so you have to make another trip to your room. But soon enough you meet Hvitserk and the others again, reading the horses.

“Which one is mine?”

“Over here.” Hviserk guides to a beautiful white horse. “Give me your leg.” He says, and for a moment you furrow your eyebrows, but soon enough you understand what he means. Raising your leg, Hvitserk grabs your calf and you push yourself up, successfully mounting on the horse with his help. It feels funny to be this tall. You have ridden before, but most of the time you used a carriage. There was no need for a princess to ride on the back of a horse at Wessex. It's wild though, and you've grown to love wild things. “Keep your feet like this on the stirrups at all times. Don't put of your feet all the way in or it might get stuck if you fall. If you touch her with your ankles, she'll move forward. Pull the halters and she'll stop. The same thing goes to pull her left or right, but since we'll ride together she'll just follow the other horses.”

“Got it.”

“Your ass might hurt at the end of the day, so be prepared.” He warns before jumping to the back of his horse. “If it'll help you feel more steady, you can hold on the saddle, but trust me, you'll get the hang of it once you lose the fear of falling.”

“Have you ever fallen from a horse before?” As you speak, the small group starts moving, and your mare does the same, keeping their pace, slow at first until everyone starts galloping, and all air leaves your lungs. You hold tightly to the saddle, scared at first, but you remember what Hvitserk just told you. If you let the fear of falling win, you'll never learn to ride properly, and you'll never enjoy it. Slowly, you let go of the saddle, holding only on the halters, making sure it's loose so she'll feel free to run.

And the sensation is amazing. The wind makes your hair whip your face over and over, and you lightly shake your head to get rid of it. Glancing at Hvitserk, you mirror his position, a smile creeping over your lips. The landscape, green, blue, and gray, passes by in a blur, and you try to take it all in. It's beautiful, breathtaking. Almost literally, because when you finally stop, you're struggling to catch your breath.

“You ok?”

“Yeah.” You answer, and Hvitserk nods before moving to stand next to his father and brother. You see a small troop approaching, riding up the hill.

“You're quite good at this,” Bjorn says, guiding his horse away from his siblings and near you. “A few more lessons you'll be riding like a true Viking.”

“I really like it. Its... Thrilling.” You're finally calming down, and your thighs ache a little bit.

“Wanna see the traders coming?” Turning his horse around, he gestures at a cliff, not too many miles away. “We could go up there, it'll give us a nice view.”

“Isn't it a little high?”

“The horses are used to it. C'mon.” Without waiting for your answer, he starts galloping away.

Glancing at Hvitserk, you hold the halter tightly to keep the mare from moving. “You think I should?”

“Sure, it has a nice view. But if you feel like the trail there is too much you come back here, alright? The horses are used to it but you're not.”

“Alright.” Touching the mare with your ankles, you loose the halter and she immediately moves, following Bjorn's horse. It doesn't take much until you're deep inside the woods, the horses now trotting. Bjorn keeps silent, giving you a few glances since you're slightly behind him.

“That way.” He says, and you just let your ride follow his. The smooth ground soon starts changing, with more rocks, and becomes unravel. When you see a steep slope, with apparently nothing to hold on to, you pull the halters, making the mare stop.

“I think it's too craggy.” You speak up, getting Bjorn's attention. “I don't want to fall on my first try.”

“She's used to this kind of inclination. You'll be fine.”

Considering it and also what Hvitserk said, you decide to leave the cliff viewing for another day, when you feel more secure on the horse. “I think I'll pass, Bjorn. Maybe another cliff where I can go on foot.”

“Don't be a pussy. It's not that craggy.” Then, he kicks his horse hard and it sets in motion. It doesn't surprise you, but when the mare moves as well, following him, you're startled, and in the sudden change, you let the halter fall.

Holding on the sell, you can only watch as Bjorn's horse easily climbs the slope, at a fast pace, and yours do the same. But when it suddenly turns left, around a huge rock, you lose your balance, and since there's nothing to hold on to, both your feet escape the stirrups, and you're pulled to the ground hard. Losing your breath, a sting on your ankle makes you yelp as you roll down the slope, only stopping once the ground is flat again. Rolling on your back, you take deep breaths, trying not to move the left leg since the pain is spreading through your foot and calf. “Damn it!” You exclaim, removing the hair from your face.

“(Y/N)!” It takes only a few seconds until you see Bjorn kneeling by your side. “Are you alright?”

“I just fell from a horse and rolled down a hill!” You speak fast, the pain on your back making itself aware. “Of course I'm not fine!”

“Let me take you–” He says as he starts to pull you up.

“No.” You cut him off, slapping his hands away. Bjorn has done enough for today. If he wasn't trying to be a freaking show-off, this wouldn't have happened. “Go get–”

“(Y/N)?” You hear his voice and breathes out relief. “I heard a yell.”

“Over here. Lying on the ground.” Annoyed, you cover your eyes with both hands. “Can you please see if my ankle is broken?”

“What happened?” He asks in a low voice, and you uncover your eyes to see him jumping to the ground, kneeling next to your stretched out leg.

“Bjorn made his horse bolt up the slope and mine followed.” You explain, giving him a hard glance, groaning when Hvitserk lifts your leg to remove your boot. “Easy there!”

“Sorry.” He mumbles. “But calm down, it's not broken, just sprained.”

“Shit.” Taking a deep breath, you sit up taking off the other boot as well and throwing it at Bjorn. “You can't keep yourself from getting me hurt, can you?”

“Me? Everything you had to do was hold on. The horse–”

“I'm not a Viking!” Bursting out, you look up at him. “I'm not some shieldmaiden, I'm still trying to fit in here and learn things. You can't expect me to follow your pace.”

“I just–”

“Bjorn, you should get back. Help father with the traders, I'll take her back to Kattegat.” Hvitserk interrupts him, and Bjorn leaves after a grunt, saying something you couldn't understand.

“And he thinks he has the right to be pissed!” Lying back down, you groan. “I think this is a sign to stay away from him. Every time he's in the situation, I get hurt.”

“Alright, c'mon.” Hvitserk pulls your arm until you're seated again. “You need to put some ice on this ankle, let's go.” Hvitserk takes your mare first, tying her up with his horse before mounting and pulling you up to ride with him.

Despite the slow pace he keeps, your back still hurts. Resting your head on his back, you sigh. “Why are you so quiet?” You ask after a while.

“I'm thinking about the right words to tell this to mother. She won't be happy.” He answers, a hand resting on his thigh as the other holds the halter. “She's not very fond of Bjorn already.”

“It was partially my fault too, I think. I let the halter slip and had nothing to hold on to.”

“You're know Bjorn likes you, right?” Hvitserk suddenly says, and you pinch your eyebrows together. This thought hasn't crossed your mind. “That's probably why he did that. That's how he... Gets a woman's attention.”

“Would you do the kindness of telling him it's not working?” Muttering, you rest both your arms on his back folding them as if his shoulders were a table. “Actually, I've been meaning to tell you... I met Ivar at the market place today.”

“...And?” He asks after a few seconds of silence.

“Nothing, just... It was nothing, really.” It's hard to understand exactly what you want to tell Hvitserk. You just can't seem to put your feelings or thoughts together. “I was looking at these things and he said they wouldn't suit me.” Stretching out your arm, you show him the bracelet. “I bought this there.”

“That's nice. But cheap.” Rolling your eyes, you remember Ivar said pretty much the same thing.

“He also said I'm kind. But that was probably in a mocking tone, so...” You get into Kattegat, and Hvitserk greets some people. “I don't know.”

“I believe it's safe to assume Ivar doesn't hate you.” Hvitserk slows down the horse when a group of kids run by. “If he did, he wouldn't put himself on your way like that... Or look at you the way he does.”

“And how does he look at me?” The words come out slowly because you're not sure if you want to know.

“The only thing I can say for sure is that he never looked at a woman like that.” You finally get to Ragnar's house, and Hvitserk asks a man to help you down. Once you're safe on the ground, he jumps off, telling the man to take the horses. “And I mean it in a good way.”

He puts a hand around your waist, helping as you jump on the right foot until the table in the main hall. “Do you think he–”

“What happened this time?” Aslaug asks, her voice already giving out that she's not happy.

“Twisted ankle. She fell from the horse.”

“Take her to her room, Hvitserk.” The Queen mutters, saying something to the girls who were following her. “And carry her this time if that isn't too much to ask.”

“Alright.” He replies, picking you up with a hand on the small of your back and another under your legs, quickly finding the way to your chambers.

Giggling, you give him a look “I love when your mother–”

“Careful with the teasing this time. I might just drop you to the floor and I don't care if your a princess who fell off a horse.” The fake angry tone makes you laugh again.

“My bad, Prince Hvitserk.” You snap back, rolling your eyes.

Aslaug has her maids help you bathe first, cleaning the dirt that is attached to your face and hair before lying you on the bed again and applying a piece of fabric with cold water on your ankle, keeping it elevated with some pillows. She isn't happy to know the whole story, despite you assuring her it's alright now. You could've died, she said, breaking your neck. But it's useless to worry about what could've happened. The best thing to do now is to focus on the ankle, which she said will be better in a few days, and let the whole incident go.

Later that night, you give little jumps to the main hall to eat something. It's just Ubbe and Bjorn, seated on a table at the corner. Nodding at them, not wanting to chat with Bjorn at the moment, you sit at the edge of the table in the middle, your back turned at both men, taking the jar and pouring yourself something to drink.

“How's your ankle?” Ubbe asks, and you look over your shoulder.

“It's fine. I'll be able to walk normally in a few days. But my back still hurts.” Completely ignoring Bjorn's existence, you turn away from them again.

Drumming your fingers on the table, you wait for the Queen's maids to bring your meal. When you feel someone moving behind your back, you assume it's them, and place your cup further away to open some space. But instead of the bowl with rabbit stew, a necklace is put down before you. And it's absolutely beautiful, with three blue stones surrounded by a golden metal, delicately molded around it. It's different from anything you've ever seen in Wessex. Taking it in your hands, you see Ivar dropping to the seat next to you, and you turn to look at him.

“What is it?” You ask, unable to hide the smile that comes to your lips.

“A necklace.” He simply says, and you roll your eyes at his tone. What a way to ruin the mood.

“Yeah, I noticed.” The smile slowly drops as your eyes go back to the piece, fingertips caressing one of the stones.

“This was made for a princess. Not those cheap things.” He gestures at your bracelet, and you giggle.

“Well, this is absolutely beautiful.” Glancing at him, you find he was already staring. “Is it for me?” You inquire in a lower voice, not wanting to make any assumptions that might embarrass you.

Ivar nods, lightly pushing your shoulder. “Turn around. Let me put it on.”

Doing as he says, you turn your back at him. Ivar takes the necklace and places it around your neck, and you hold your hair up so he can close it on the back. Once he's done, you let the hair fall before turning to face him, folding your left leg and carefully laying the wounded ankle on the bench between you and Ivar. “How does it look?”

You wait for an answer, but it doesn't come. Ivar's eyes were fixed on the necklace, but slowly, they come to meet yours. Tilting your head to the side a little, you feel heat spreading through your cheeks.

Shaking your head lightly and looking down, you take a deep breath. “Have you heard that I fell from a horse this afternoon?” You're glad you got your brain to function, changing the subject. “Twisted my ankle.”

Ivar's stare falls to your bare feet on the bench, the skirt of your dress pulled up to your knee. “Mother told me it was someone else's doing.” As he speaks, Ivar gives an angry stare at where his two brothers are, and it's obvious who he's looking at. “But I think you'll survive.” You feel his fingers caressing your skin, from your knee and down through your calf, so softly you wonder if he's really touching you.

“I will.” You assure him, biting back a smile.

“Ivar,” Ragnar calls, and it does take a while until you both look at where he's standing, near the thrones. “Your mother wants to speak with you.”

“What now?” He asks, annoyed.

“I don't know. Go ask her.” And he disappears.

“Guess I'll have to go.” He glances at you, grabbing the clutch.

But before he can push himself up, you grab his arm. Perhaps you shouldn't do it. Perhaps this whole thing is just some kind of joke he's pulling on you, but still, the necklace is beautiful and he was... Kind. So you lean closer to him, placing a soft kiss on his cheek. “Thank you for the gift. It's very beautiful.”

Ivar is frozen, even after you let go of his arm. He stands there, blue eyes locked on yours. Slowly, painfully slow, a smile comes to his lips. And it feels different. True, genuine. “You're welcome, princess.” He whispers before pushing himself up to his feet and walking away.

You're still a little dazed when the rabbit stew comes, and you can do nothing but play with the spoon. But heavy footsteps get your attention, and when you look at your side, you catch a glimpse of a very angry Bjorn disappearing inside.

He saw everything. And it takes you by surprise to notice that, the moment you laid eyes on Ivar, you immediately forgot Bjorn and Ubbe were here. Everything just... Faded away, and there was nothing else, just you and him. And this is not the first time it happens.

×

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