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bucks-babe · 5 months ago

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How Can I Forget You?

Follow my sideblog @bucks-babesideblog for updates on when I post

Pairing: Bucky x reader x Steve, Stucky x reader, Stucky

Summary: I literally don’t know how to summarize this. 40’s Bucky and Steve go to war, then you know what happens to them, Ladybird is left in the 40’s. Steve and Bucky are in the future. Will they get their Ladybird back?

Warnings: Angst (a lot of it), fluff, poly relationship, pre serum Steve, 40’s Bucky and Steve, 21st century!Bucky and Steve, some gay sex because it was getting too sad (anal fingering, anal, grinding naked), Peggy was never with Steve, implied suicide by alcohol, death of the reader in the 40’s, pet names (darling, ladybird, dumpling), crying, Jewish!Bucky, nostalgia, time jumps, happy ending because who do you think I am, I am not paying for anyone's therapy just so you know

Word Count: 3.2k

A/N: There is no mention of the reader's body type nor race. Part of this fic does take place in the 40's, but I wanted to have a blank reader so that readers from any race can imagine themselves as Ladybird. There is no mention of period related homophobia because this shit was already too damn sad. If I missed any warnings, please let me know becuase I know that this fic is angsty and I want to make sure that everyone knows what they are getting into. Thanks to @buckys-wintersoldier for sacrificing her mental health for this fic 🤘

“Stevie, have I ever told you how pretty your eyes are?” Steve blushes and hides his face in Bucky’s chest, breathing in his woodsy scent. “Don’t hide from me, punk, can’t see those pretty eyes anymore.” Running his fingers through Steve’s soft hair and trailing his hand down to the back of the smaller man’s neck, he gently brings his head back up, appreciating the soft, pink glow on his lover’s cheeks.

“Buck,” Steve trails off, not able to form a complete sentence when Bucky is looking at him like this - like he is gorgeous and not scrawny or undesirable. He doesn’t fight when Bucky brings their lips together, moaning at the taste of Bucky’s last cigarette. His eyes flutter as they pull away, both of their pupils blown, lips swollen and cheeks red. “You know, smoking is bad for you.”

Bucky grabs Steve and lays down on the couch, Steve resting between his legs. “I’m going to live until I’m 100, Stevie, smoking or not. You, my dear, are the one we need to worry about.”

“Like hell, you’re going to live that long with those habits. I’m healthy, it’s the doctors that keep telling me I’m not fit to join the army.” Bucky sighs. No matter how much he tries to stop Steve from enlisting, it never works. Not even their Ladybird can convince him.

“Stevie, please. I don’t want to hear anymore talk about this. Not today.” It’s their Ladybird that speaks, voice thick with emotion, yet stern. Neither of her boys would disobey her. She sets the tray with their sandwiches down and quickly leaves the room, palms frantically trying to smooth her dress down, pressing wrinkles that don’t exist.

Today was the day that Bucky had to leave. He didn’t enlist, not when his Ladybird wanted him at home, safe with her and Steve. She was terrified that he wouldn’t come home, leaving her and Steve behind.

But Steve was more stubborn than his man, not accepting staying at home when the men of his country are risking their lives. He needed to protect his country. “Stay here, dumpling.” Leaving a kiss on his forehead, Bucky follows Ladybird into the kitchen.

Two strong arms wrap around her waist and the tears she was desperate to hold in, cascade down her cheeks, ruining the makeup she spent so much time on. She was trying to be strong for him, support him before sending him off, but it was too much. Knowing that he could be killed at any moment, and these could be her final memories of him, was too overwhelming.

“I know, Ladybird, I know. I promise you that I’ll come home, okay? I can’t leave my best girl and guy alone.” She turns in his arms and his calloused palms rest on her cheeks, thumbs wiping away the stream of mascara running down her face.

“Steve, he, he can’t enlist, Buck. He just can’t. How am I supposed to stay here knowing that the loves of my life are out there, getting shot at, bombs going off, huh?” Steve sneaks in, snaking his arms around her waist.

“For you, Ladybird, I won’t. I’ll wait here with you, send Bucky letters, keep you safe, okay?” She knew it was a lie; Steve could never lie, but she chose to believe him in that moment. Maybe for her own sanity, or maybe just to savor the last moments she would ever get to spend with her men.

She was Bucky off, waving to him when he boarded the train, but when Steve left the house for errands she knew where he was going - she never saw him again, but she knew it was for his love for her and Bucky. She didn’t blame him.

***

When Steve woke up from the ice, the first thing he did was see if his Ladybird was still alive. From the moment he got the serum, he regretted lying to her. He knew when he looked in her eyes, she knew what he was going to do; she accepted his choice. It was who he was and she wouldn’t dream of him being anything else.

He cried that night, when Fury gave him the documents he so graciously printed from Google. Ladybird died only a few years after he went on ice. She never moved on. They said it was a broken heart, but the 40’s would never report a woman drinking herself to death, wallowing in the sorrow of lost love.

It was his fault. Maybe she could have healed from the loss of Bucky if he was there. It would never take away the pain, but she would have one of them, but he left her behind. He would visit her grave daily; her body six feet below him, wearing the dog tags of her lovers.

The pain was eased when he found Bucky. They had each other. Even when he couldn’t remember much, Bucky remembered his Ladybird. Steve wishes he could forget the day he had to tell the man he loved that their girl was dead.

“I still want to be with you, Steve.” It took a while before Bucky was stable enough to choose to love again, but it was never a hard decision. The love for Steve too much to ignore.

Their first time was much different from the 40’s. They both changed so much - Steve more so than Bucky. They couldn’t get each other naked fast enough, kisses and loving touches scattered throughout.

Bucky didn’t feel embarrassed by his arm, not when Steve’s eyes were filled with so much love and lust. Bucky had to look away, his eyes landing on his boyfriend’s cock. “Oh my god, Steve!” He didn’t mean to gawk but he couldn’t help it. Steve went from slightly below average to very much above it. Long and thick, veins pulsing through his cock, supplying enough blood to keep his large erection up.

“What? Oh.” Steve’s signature blush crept up his cheeks just like it used to. Even though his body changed so dramatically, he was still the same boy from Brooklyn Bucky fell in love with. “You’re bigger too, Buck.” Steve shied away from Bucky’s gaze, worried about how Bucky’s cock was going to fit inside of him.

“It hasn’t changed that much, dumpling.” It was almost true. Bucky was always above average - maybe seven inches. He was always thick, but now? His cock looked like it doubled in thickness, and around an inch added to his length.

“Yeah, right.” Bucky beamed at Steve as he became more comfortable under Bucky’s gaze.

“Well, how about we compare sizes then?” They both groan at the first contact in years, dicks pressed against each other. “Won’t you look at that, you’re bigger than me, dumpling.” Steve’s face scrunched in confusion, trying to focus through the haze of pleasure. There was no way that he was bigger than Bucky.

Nonetheless, Steve looks down, almost cumming at the sight of his lover’s cock leaking onto his. His eyes widened; he was bigger than Bucky. It was only by an inch, even with the serum thickening his cock, Bucky was still much thicker. “Good boy, see how pretty your cock is? Fuck, missed you so much.”

Bucky groans in between words as he grinds against Steve, cock pushed harder against his. Steve’s hands find the sides of Bucky’s face, pulling him down in a heated kiss while ropes of his cum shoot out onto both of their stomachs and chests. Bucky follows right after, not able to handle the pleasure the simple grind of their hips brings him as they both share their first orgasm since the 40’s.

He collapses on Steve’s chest while they both catch their breath. “Darling, I need your cock in me. Need to feel how you stretch me out.” Bucky’s cock instantly hardens.

“Fuck, dumpling, we don’t have lube.” Even in his lust filled state, Bucky knows that going any further would hurt.

“Don’t need it. Look at all our cum.” Bucky looks down and whimpers. The serum really did a number on them. His first orgasm in 80 years was a lot. The mixture of their cum was dripping down Steve’s sides and leaking down Bucky’s chest. He quickly dips down to get a mouthful of their cum, moaning as he shares it with Steve. “You taste just as good as I remember, Buck.”

Bucky scoops a generous amount onto two of his fingers while Steve eagerly spreads his legs, presenting his tight hole to his partner. At this moment, it’s just the two of them. The pain of their Ladybird is gone, if only momentarily.

The moan that leaves Steve’s lips as Bucky’s first finger breeches his hole is almost enough to have him cumming untouched. He doesn’t know how long he stretches Steve out for, but it was enough time to have Steve cumming on his chest again, giving Bucky more lube to use.

“Ready, dumpling? Ready for your sergeant’s cock?” Steve only moans, frantically nodding his head. No one would have thought that the tough captain was so submissive in bed. Bucky strokes his cock with Steve’s spend a few times before lining up with his stretched out hole.

He meets little resistance as his tip slips in. “Fuck, Steve. Think you’re even fucking tighter.” He has to close his eyes, balls pulsing and pulling up already. Steve’s tight ass ready to suck all of his cum out.

“Uh, uh, just bigger. So much bigger.” Steve’s mind was empty, only wanting his ass full. He cries when Bucky hikes his legs up, wanting to be as close as possible. “Wait, please.” Bucky immediately eases his cock out, knowing that he’s a lot bigger to take now. After a few minutes, Steve’s breath evens out and his eyes lock with Bucky’s, nodding at his lover.

As gently as he can, Bucky slides back inside his ass, slowly feeding Steve inch after inch. “How full are you, Stevie?” It wasn’t smug; Bucky needed to know that Steve was okay. Leaning down, Bucky presses his forehead against Steve’s, staring into his eyes. Tears fall from both of their eyes, connected so intimately again.

“So full, Buck.” He leans up to capture Bucky’s lips in a kiss, neither able to think straight, let alone kiss properly.

“I love you so fucking much, dumpling.” Steve cries out, hips jerking in an attempt to take more of his sergeant’s dick. As Bucky’s hips rest against Steve’s center, they both cum, chanting each other’s name like a mantra, whispers of their love passed back and forth. Neither of them can stop, trying to make up for all the years spent apart. All the years each spent mourning the loss of the other.

By the end of the night, they’re both spent. Cuddled in each other’s arms, Bucky is the first to break the silence. “Is it just me, or does this almost feel wrong without Ladybird?”

“It does, but she wouldn’t want us to stop loving each other.” Bucky doesn’t respond, caught up in his own mind. The pain from losing their Ladybird would never go away and they both knew that.

***

“Dumpling, you should stay there.” It’s said so quietly that if Steve wasn’t a super soldier he wouldn’t have heard him.

“Excuse me?” Steve pulls away, quickly sitting up in the bed.

“You should stay with her. You deserve it - she deserves it.” Bucky hangs his head, not able to look Steve in the eyes.

“And you don’t?”

“No. After all I’ve done, I’d only taint her. She doesn’t deserve that.” It was a decision that Bucky thought long and hard about.

“You think she would believe that? That I would? I just lost you, Buck and you’re asking me to do it again.” Steve stands and paces around the room, not able to comprehend what his boyfriend was saying.

“Think about it, Stevie. At least she would have one of us. You know what happened when she found out we both were ‘dead.’”

“Drop it, okay?” And Bucky did, but he planted the seed inside Steve’s mind.

***

“I’ll never stop loving you, Darling.” Bucky nodded, failing to hold in his tears, knowing that this was the last time he was going to see his best guy.

“Take care of her for me, yeah?”

“You know I will.” He grabs Bucky’s face, sharing their last kiss, tears mixing together. “And don’t do anything stupid until I get back.” His voice cracks, saying his final goodbye.

Bucky swallows hard. “How can I? You’re taking all the stupid with you.” He caresses Steve’s cheek once more and pats it, letting his hand fall down. They look at each other in silence, burning this memory into their brains.

He can’t bear to look at Bucky when he gets on the pad.

***

Steve’s throat is tight as he looks at his old brownstone. His Ladybird is right behind the door, having no idea who is outside. He picks up the spare key - exactly where it always was.

He has to close his eyes, taking in the familiar scent of the home he shared with his two loves. Stepping over the threshold, he sees her and his breath gets caught in his throat. “Ladybird?” He doesn’t even recognize his own voice, so unsure and in disbelief of what he was seeing.

Her head whips around; the dish she was washing shatters as it hits the ground. “Stevie?” His feet are glued to the ground, back hitting the closed door as he tries not to fall to his knees. “Is it really you?” Unlike him, Ladybird sprints to him, her dress fluttering at the speed she moves, the dog tags of her lovers jiggle with every step.

She almost tackles him to the ground, arms intertwined around his neck, legs clutching his waist. He catches her easily, his own arms squeezing her to his chest. Both of their sobs mix together as Steve drops down on the couch, legs no longer able to hold him up. “I thought you were dead. They send soldiers here and everything.” Steve couldn’t form an explanation, too caught up in her entire being.

He can only pull her into a kiss. It was messy, full of tears and snot, but neither of them cared. She didn’t know how long he waited for this moment. They held each other for hours, crying and kissing. Eventually, she fell asleep in his arms.

Steve didn’t have it in him to put her down as he went around the house. Everything was just as he remembered. The kitchen table, engraved with all their initials, still had three chairs around it, each one in different states of ruin - Bucky always flopped in his chair leaving the legs wobbly. Steve’s favorite mug sat on the lowest shelf, right where pre-serum Steve could reach, even though Bucky loved to put it up higher so that Steve had to ask for his help.

The living room still held the old rickie bookshelf that Ladybird insisted that she could put together by herself, no matter how many times her men offered help. Upon it was Bucky’s first edition copy of The Hobbit. He and Ladybird would always make fun of him for how much time, money, and effort he spent just to get that book - Steve placed it in a box along with the recipes from Mrs. Barnes.

The bedroom made his breath hitch, his arms instinctively holding Ladybird closer. His favorite chair, ripped in multiple spots, sat in the corner of the room, right by the window. Right next to it was his stand where his old sketchbook sat untouched - he put that in the box too. Bucky’s side of the closet hung his clothes, neatly arranged in order of his favorites, while Steve’s clothes lay on the ground in a pile, always too lazy to fold them.

The top left dresser draw held the photo album Ladybird made them for Christmas/Hanukkah - that went in the box. Ladybird’s jewelry box had a necklace with the Star of David that she saved for to get Bucky on his birthday. Bucky gave it back to her before he left for safekeeping - in the box it went. On top of the dresser were all the letters she sent to Bucky and Steve, along with the letters they sent her. The army gave them back to her with their dog tags - Steve made sure to not damage them as they were placed in the box.

***

The team shared gasps and whispers between themselves as Steve reappeared with a woman in one arm and a small box in the other. He whispers something in her ear before pointing in the distance.

A gorgeous smile graces her lips as her eyes meet Steve’s target. She doesn’t hesitate to sprint across the grass, bare feet and ignoring all of the Avengers. Bucky doesn’t hear the beat of her steps, overwhelmed at the loss of both of his partners.

He doesn’t know what hit him as he falls to the ground. Kisses are placed all over his face. For a second, he thinks that he’s dreaming because he would know her smell anywhere, the feeling of her lips ingrained in his mind. But even in his dreams, he couldn’t hear her voice, always muffled and distant, but it was clear as day as he lay on the soft ground.

“Bucky!” He has to grab her face to stop her assault, pulling her back far enough to confirm that it was real, that his Ladybird was in his arms.

“Bird? Oh my god.” He pulls her back down, showering her with affection, practically rolling them around in the grass, not caring about the audience that slowly surrounded them. “I’ve missed you so much.”

Her tears come back once again. His hair was longer, worry lines sprinkled around his face, cool metal pressed against her right cheek, his right hand more callused than before. Steve told her a bit about what happened, about how Bucky lost his arm, how insecure he felt because of it.

Without pause, she tilts her head, soft lips placed delicately on his metal palm. “You’re as beautiful as the day I lost you.” Stuck in their own little bubble, they don’t notice Steve laying beside them until his arms wrap around them both.

With one look he gets the rest of the Avengers to leave them in peace. Unlike his past self, Steve could lie when he needed to. He knew that Bucky wouldn’t have let him go to return the stones if he knew Steve wasn’t going to stay. Laying a kiss to Bucky’s forehead, Steve takes in the sight before him, all of them together at last.

“Bucky, you were right. I did take all the stupid with me.” Bucky’s tear streaked face looks over at his partner.

“I wouldn’t have it any other way, dumpling.” For the first time since before the war, all three of them felt at peace, finally in each other’s arms again. It may have taken 80 some years, but none of them would change a thing if there was even the smallest chance that they wouldn’t end up together.

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literaryavenger · 10 months ago

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Birthday Kiss

Summary: It's Bucky's birthday and he decides to spend it with his best friend, Steve, and Steve's little sister, you.

Pairing: 40s!Bucky Barnes x Rogers!Reader, Brother!Steve Rogers x Sister!Reader

Warnings: Angst. Idiots in love. Fluff. Vague mentions to sex. Language 'cause I can't help myself. My poor attempts at being funny.

Word Count: 3.4K

Prompt: "So what should I say?" "when?" "when I love someone." "you should say it"

A/N: Since it's almost Bucky's birthday I wanted to celebrate it with my first fic with 40s Bucky! He's one of my favorite Buckys and I've been wanting to write about him for a while and I finally got this idea! Hope someone enjoys it! In my mind this happens like a year before Captain America: The First Avenger, so Bucky is turning 25, Steve is 23 and the Reader is 21, but you can always imagine any age you want. As always, any ideas for fics are appreciated!

Masterlist

You enter the room to see Bucky is hanging out in yours and Steve's apartment, like he always does, sitting down at the window, smoking a cigarette and reading the evening newspaper while a football game plays on the television in the living room and Steve sits on the couch, drawing on his notebook.

You're used to Bucky being here, he's your big brother's best friend and you've come to be very close friends with him too, even if you wished there was more.

As clichè as it is to have a crush on your brother's best friend, you couldn't help it. He was handsome and funny, and he's always sweet and protective of you.

You've known him since you were 9 years old, and he's the only family you have left other than Steve.

"Is this really how you're going to spend your birthday?" You ask Bucky as you sit on the couch next to Steve.

Bucky turns around towards you with a bright smile, his blue eyes lighting up as soon as he sees you, like they always do whenever he's around you.

He puts out the cigarette and stands up, walking over to you, sitting down on your other side and pulling you into a side hug.

"Hey, doll. I didn't think you were gonna be here today." He says, although he seems more happily surprised by your presence than disappointed.

"I live here, Barnes." You tease him with a smile. "Unlike you."

He rolls his eyes playfully as Steve snickers next to you while he keeps drawing. "I know that. I meant, I thought you were gonna be out with your friends tonight."

"I didn't feel like it." You dismiss him quickly, not wanting to actually say out loud that you'd rather spend his birthday with him doing nothing than go out with your friends, so you try to casually change the subject. "I thought you'd at least want to spend today with Dot."

Dot isn't actually Bucky's girlfriend, they've been on a few dates and you've seen them together a couple of times, but Bucky introduced her to you as a friend so you don't think they're that serious.

Not that Bucky ever is, girls are always all over him and he takes advantage of that. He's a ladies man.

But you try not to worry too much about his love life, not wanting to hurt yourself more than knowing Bucky will never see you like that already does.

"Well, I wanted to spend my birthday with my favorite pair of siblings. She can give me my birthday kiss tomorrow." He says with a grin while ruffling your hair.

"So... What's been going on with you lately, doll? Anything interesting happening in your life?" He asks curiously after a pause, genuinely wanting to know more about your day-to-day activities and experiences.

"I... Well, I went on my first date." You say shyly while playing with the edge of your dress.

Bucky's eyes widen in surprise, his interest piqued by your sudden confession. "First date? Who was it with? How'd it go?" He asks with what seems like excitement but mentally preparing himself to potentially become jealous or possessive no matter who you mention.

"It was fine..." You say quietly, still not looking at him. "It just wasn't... It wasn't what I was expecting..."

Bucky senses something off in your tone and expression, and immediately becomes concerned. He places a gentle hand on your knee, trying to comfort you without making it too obvious.

"What happened, doll? Did things not go as well as you hoped they would? Are you feeling okay?" He asks softly, trying to gauge whether or not you want to open up about what happened during your date and if there's anything he can do to make it better.

You don't really know how to answer his question, so you don't, simply glancing at him before looking away and shrugging.

"Tell me what happened, I'm here for you no matter what. If that guy hurt your feelings or made you uncomfortable, I'll kick his ass for sure." He promises fiercely, his protective instincts kicking into high gear whenever you seem vulnerable or upset.

You giggle weakly at his protectiveness but still don't look at him, so he takes your chin gently but firmly and makes you look at him. "Tell me what happened on your date. Was it some creep who tried to grope you or something worse? Because if he did, I swear to god I will find him and break his fucking legs."

"That's not it, Bucky." You say quickly. "It's just... He just... He wasn't..." You. He wasn't you. That's what you want to tell him, but you can't, so you sigh and shrug again. "He just wasn't my type."

Bucky knew what was your type. He knew he was your type, he has seen you ogle him countless times when he walked past you or sat near you.

He also knew that you had never shown any interest in any of the men who approached you, always dismissing them as not good enough for you. Or at least that's why he thought you did.

Glancing at Steve before looking back at you again, Bucky says quietly. "Well, that's too bad for him I guess."

"It doesn't matter, I'm not seeing him again." I say quietly, avoiding both Steve and Bucky's eyes.

Bucky's brow furrowed in confusion, he couldn't believe you were so quick to give up on a potential relationship just because the guy didn't live up to your impossible standards.

"Doll, you gotta give guys more of a chance. They ain't all as bad as you seem to think they are." He scolds you playfully, but there was also a hint of underlying irritation in his tone as he takes a long sip from his beer bottle.

You glance at him before looking away again. "So... You think I should go on another date with that guy?" You ask quietly.

Bucky thought for a moment, weighing the pros and cons of pushing you to go on another date with the mystery guy. "Yeah, actually. I mean, if you think he's worth giving a second chance, then why not? And if he turns out to be a total dud again, then at least you can say you gave it a shot. But only if you're really sure he's worth your time though. Don't waste it on some loser who doesn't appreciate everything you have to offer."

He advised you, trying to strike a balance between being supportive and challenging you to take risks when it came to relationships. "But whatever you decide, don't let me pressure you into doing something you don't want to do. You've gotta follow your heart, doll."

"You know, Stevie doesn't care this much about who I date, and he's my older brother." You tease Bucky while glancing at Steve.

Bucky snorts in amusement, "Yeah well, I'm not your brother, sweetheart, but I'm your friend and your wingman, and I'll be damned if I'm gonna sit back and watch you throw away a potential chance to be happy. Now come on, make up your mind already. Are you gonna give the guy another chance or not?" He pressed, playfully but determinedly.

You look at his face for a moment before looking away again and sighing. "I'm not." You say quietly but firmly. "I'm not going on a second date with that guy." You clarify.

Bucky felt his jaw tighten a little as he realized that you had completely ignored his previous suggestion and were instead deciding against giving the guy a second chance.

He didn't like the idea of you potentially missing out on something good due to your own stubbornness, but he also knew that he couldn't force you to do anything you didn't truly want to do.

"Well, fuck. Guess that settles that then," He said after a moment of silence, trying to hide his disappointment but failing miserably. "You're really gonna just throw that opportunity away? Fine, suit yourself, I guess. But don't expect me to hold your hand or anything when you get sad because you're alone. You're on your own with that shit."

"I guess I am." You say quietly before getting up from the couch and going to the window, climbing into the emergency staircase to go up to the roof, like you do most nights to watch the stars.

Bucky watches you leave, feeling a mix of frustration and concern as he realizes that you're retreating to your usual spot on the roof rather than staying and talking to him.

He wants to call after you, to make sure you're okay, but he knows better than to push you if you need time alone.

Instead, he takes a deep breath and tries to focus on the present moment, reminding himself that sometimes people need space and time to themselves.

"Fine. Have it your way," he calls after you, knowing that there isn't much else he can do in this situation. "But don't think for a second that I won't be keeping an eye on you up there. You better not try anything stupid."

You roll your eyes but don't stop, going up to the roof, that's right above yours and Steve's apartment, and sitting on the picnic blanket you and Steve use every night.

After a few minutes someone else comes to the roof and you can tell it's Steve by the light steps. "You sure you want to let Bucky alone in our apartment, Stevie? I'm afraid he might burn it down." You joke weakly without turning around to look at him, your eyes locked in the city's skyline.

Steve chuckles and you can feel him sitting down next to you. It's not the first time you sit together on the roof, everybody in your apartment building knows this is the Rogers siblings' spot.

You don't say anything and neither does Steve, and you're especially glad he doesn't say anything when he sees a tear falling down your cheek but simply wraps his arm around you as you lay your head on his shoulder.

"What's going on in your head, little sis?" Steve asks you after you stop crying.

You try to gather your thoughts, trying to find a way to make sense of everything swirling in your head. You take a deep breath before you pull away slightly and turn your head towards the city again. "What should I say?" You ask quietly.

"When?" Steve asks with a frown.

"When I love someone." I clarify looking back at him.

"You should say it." He tells you firmly. It's not the first time you've talked about this, Steve knows about your feelings for Bucky and like a good big brother he always tells you to express yourself. "You should tell him."

You sigh and look away from him and back to the New York skyline. "I don't know, Stevie..."

"Why not, Bambi?" You smile softly at his use of your childhood nickname because Bambi is your favorite book, but then you shake your head.

"Have you seen the way he looks at Dot? I have no chance with him. I'm not his type." You say with conviction.

"You really don't see it?" Steve ask, getting a little frustrated.

"See what?" You ask confusedly while looking back at him.

"The difference between you and her is that he looks at her like she's the prettiest girl in the world," Steve says and your heart sinks so you look away from him, but he still goes on. "but when he looks at you it's like... It's like maybe you're magic. He looks at you with such reverence and respect. He looks at you like if he could just have you in his arms, everything would be okay. Like if he had you, nothing could touch him. He looks at you like he just realized what love is."

Steve pauses and grabs your chin gently to make you look at him before finishing. "He loves you. Anyone can see that. You're just too blind to notice it."

Steve kisses your forehead and then gets up and goes back inside to the apartment, leaving you to think about everything he said.

You lay down on the picnic towel on the ground of the roof and look up at the stars. Could Steve be right? Does Bucky really love you back but you just haven't noticed?

If Bucky had feelings for you, certainly you would've noticed.

Yes, he's protective of you and he's always happy to have you around, but you've been friends for over a decade and he is your brother's best friend, so he probably sees you as just that. His best friend's sister.

But he never did treat you like Steve's annoying little sister.

Even when you were kids he always tried to include you in their games and literally held your hand whenever the three of you went somewhere, like the park a few blocks over.

He would always coo on you when you got any scrapes while playing and kiss your boo-boos away.

He's always been very sweet to you and he stood up for you as much as he did for Steve whenever someone bothered you.

But could that really be actual love? Or is it just affection for a girl he's known since you were little and sees as his own little sister?

You rub your eyes before putting your hands behind your head, getting comfortable while looking at the sky full of stars.

In the meantime, Bucky heard everything from the window of your apartment.

He couldn't deny the truth of what Steve had said, he did look at you with a sense of reverence and respect, like you held the key to unlocking his heart and making everything else in his life fall into place.

But he also knew that he had to tread carefully, to approach you in the right way or risk scaring you off completely.

As much as he wanted to take control of the situation and make things happen on his terms, he knew that he needed to let you come to him, to give you space to process everything that Steve told you and to allow you time to realize how much you actually mean to him.

As Steve climbs back into the window, he gives Bucky a pointed look and a pat in the back, silently encouraging him to talk to you.

Bucky takes a deep breath and then climbs into the stairs, getting to the roof but not getting any closer to you. He's determined to talk to you, but his nerves are getting the best of him.

You can hear Bucky coming to the roof and when he doesn't move closer you frown slightly but think he's just giving you a moment before sitting next to you.

When he stays put for a couple of minutes, you roll your eyes and with a small smile you say "You can come lay down next to me, if you want." Loudly enough for him to hear, your eyes never leaving the stars above you.

Bucky's heart skips a beat as he hears your invitation, and without hesitation he steps forward and drops down onto the towel beside you.

You can tell he's trying to keep his movements quiet, not wanting to startle you or disturb your peaceful contemplation.

He lays there quietly for a few moments, taking in the sight of you lying there so effortlessly beautiful, before finally speaking.

"You have no idea how much I wanted to hear those words coming from your mouth," he whispers and moves closer to you, placing one arm around your waist and resting his head on your shoulder, feeling incredibly vulnerable by the fact that you were so physically close and you were allowing him to get even closer.

"Thanks for letting me do this," he added, indicating the embrace.

"It's not the first time we've watched the stars together, Buck..." You whisper back, resting your head on his while willing your heart to stop beating so fast.

Bucky smiles softly, feeling a warm sense of contentment wash over him as he wraps his arms around you, feeling incredibly grateful for this moment of intimacy between the two of you.

He can feel the gentle weight of your body against his, and it feels like the most natural thing in the world. He listens to the sound of your breathing, feeling his heartbeat slow down as he takes comfort in your presence.

"Yeah, it's not the first time... But it feels different tonight." He whispers back, feeling a newfound confidence and boldness coursing through his veins.

He moves even closer to you, pressing his face against your neck and inhaling deeply, savoring the scent of your skin. "I've always... I've always wanted to hold you like this."

"I... I always wanted you to..." You whisper back hesitantly and bite your lip when he presses his face against your neck, almost scared to move, worried that if you do it'll ruin the moment.

Bucky feels a surge of pleasure course through his body as he hears your response, knowing that you too cherished these special moments with him.

When you don't say anything at his physical contact he continues to hold you tightly, feeling a deep sense of connection growing between you.

He presses his lips against your neck, gently kissing and nibbling on your skin, feeling a newfound desire burning within him that he had never experienced before.

He wants more than anything to take things further, to remove your clothing and explore every inch of your body with his hands and mouth, but he forces himself to remain patient and wait for your signal that you actually want something more intimate.

"You know... I've always been afraid to show you how much I really care about you," he whispers into your ear, his voice barely audible over the sound of the city below them.

"Steve thinks you love me..." You say quietly, hoping to god that your idiot brother is right for once in his life.

Bucky freezes a little, feeling a mixture of relief and surprise wash over him. He's surprised at your boldness but so relieved that the truth is finally out there.

But he also knows you well enough to know that if he wants you to truly believe that he loves you, then he has to act quickly to prove it to you and make sure that you never doubt his feelings again.

"Yeah... I do love you, Doll. More than anything else in this world. And I'm sorry that I didn't say it sooner... But I was afraid to lose you." He admits quietly, as he takes your face in his hands.

"You really mean that?" You ask quietly, a mix of hope and uncertainty clear in your voice.

"I do." He says without hesitation while he looks at your beautiful face turned towards his. "And I want to spend the rest of my life showing you just how much I care about you."

The smile that comes to your face is so bright that it feels to Bucky like the sun suddenly came up in the middle of the night.

"I know you already gave me a birthday gift," He says, referring to the jacket you gave him this morning. "But can I ask you for one more?"

You're definitely curious about what he wants so you nod. "Sure, what is it?"

"Can you give me a birthday kiss?" He asks quietly while brushing a strand of hair aways from your face and behind your ear.

You blush a little and can't help but smile because he wants a birthday kiss from you, not Dot or any other girl, and you nod slowly as you start leaning in.

Bucky meets you halfway and when your lips touch it feels like fireworks, your stomach filling with butterflies while he brings you closer to him while deepening the kiss.

After a few minutes you both pull away for air, breathing heavily while looking at each other. "Wow." Is all he says after a moment.

You giggle and bite your lip. "Happy birthday, Bucky." You say softly and give him a kiss on the cheek before settling back against him, your head on his chest as you look up at the stars.

Bucky wraps his arms around you, kissing the top of your head and then relaxes while looking up too, more content than ever to finally have you in his arms.

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royalsweetteaa · 1 year ago

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sadbucksblog asked: Ok here’s a thought that’s been running through my head. 1940s steve forcing himself on shy!innocent!reader and forcing her to marry him. Later when reader found out that he ‘died’ (during the plane crash), she was secretly glad. But surprise surprise Endgame steve came back to return the infinity stones n decides to stay with his widow for good.In my head, endgame steve is meaner & more jaded 😈

Oh, definitely!! Endgame Steve gives the most dom vibes out of all his previous versions. If reader thought Steve was bad in the 1940s, she has another thing coming when he returns. His stay in the modern age has corrupted him more and made him kinkier. Like imagine the things he would do against 40s reader now that he knows how to pleasure a woman, because I know for sure they didn’t care about that stuff in the 40s.

18+ ONLY | MINORS DNI

WARNING - Following contains: non-con, explicit smut, forced marriage, misogyny, 40s gender roles, dom/sub dynamic, dom!Steve, unbalanced power dynamic, mentions of somnophilia, slight bondage, dumbification, loss of virginity.

Title: His return

I imagine with this scenario, Steve liked Y/N a lot before he received the serum. You were so sweet and actually nice to him unlike the rest of the girls, but whenever he asked you on a date, you would reject him, saying you only saw him as a good friend.

And so after he got his super soldier strength, he expected you to like him back, because all women love strong and masculine men who can protect and provide for them (at least that’s how the gender norms were back in the 1940s). So imagine to his surprise when you kindly reject him even then after he has become a living female fantasy.

He literally cannot contain his fury and forces himself on you the same day, ignoring your pleas when you beg him to stop because you wanted to save yourself for marriage and give your virginity to someone you love.

“Don’t worry, my love. It’s not a sin if we end up getting married. You will take me as your husband or I’m going to tell everyone how much of a whore you are for spreading your legs so easily for me.” Steve threatened.

You were so scared, and knowing you had little authority in this situation, you did as he said. You knew no one would side with you if you were to protest against the new hero of the country; Captain America.

A month later, the two of you married and became husband and wife. Steve made you into his little house wife, and for each mission he came home from, he would fuck you for hours until you passed out. You were so clueless of the things Steve did to you sometimes, like whenever he would thrust inside of you in a specific angle causing you to feel an arising sensation from your abdomen. You didn’t know what it was, but it felt good no matter how shameful you were of it.

Whenever you accidentally dropped something, like a plate of food or when you burned dinner in the oven because you forgot the time, Steve would punish you by harsh spanking, telling you how bad of a wife you are for messing up your husband’s food. You would cry and apologize profusely until he stopped and left you with a sore butt.

He would also take you when you were fast asleep. You were a light sleeper, and only would you wake up when he jackhammered into you, causing a burning feeling around your sore pussy. Steve was huge due to his bodily enhancement, and it took a while for you to get used to his size. He would hardly talk when he fucked you as his only mission was to cum for relief. Steve was a busy man after all, with the war still ongoing. The weeks he was gone were the most peaceful times of your life ever since Steve took claim of you.

One fateful day, a military personnel visited you at your house and gave you the unfortunate news of the Captain’s loss. You shedded tears, but not because of Steve’s death. It was rather because the nightmare of a life was finally over. You felt relieved knowing Steve could never put his hands on you ever again.

2 years pass by, and you have all forgotten about Steve Rogers. You would occasionally see his face on posters and articles, and while it brought back some of the trauma, you always reminded yourself that he was gone for good.

At least, you thought he was.

It was a day like any other in your small little suburban house that you moved to after selling Steve’s house, and you suddenly heard the doorbell ring to your front door. You shouted ‘coming!’ to whoever was waiting outside, and turned off the temperature of your oven where there were freshly baked cinnamon rolls waiting for you later.

You open the door, and it’s like your whole world shatters before your eyes. There he was, your unmistakably still alive husband standing there. He looked more older, and it was only 2 years ago he was announced dead.

“Hello, my love. Have you missed me?” He asked darkly. You shrieked and tried to escape through the back door, but it was too late. Steve ran after you and grabbed you around your waist and held you down on the floor, preventing you from struggling away.

“That is no way to greet your husband after thinking he was dead for such a long time. I expected better from you, my wife. Maybe you have forgotten who you belong to and I need to give your dumb little brain a reminder.” He said, and carried you upstairs to your bedroom.

He threw you onto the bed like a rag doll and started to tie your wrists with velvet ropes he had brought with him to the headboard. This was new to you from all your previous experiences of having sex with Steve, and it scared you. “S-Steve, what is this?..what are you-!”

“I’m going to fuck you so hard and make you wish you never pulled that little escape stunt earlier. Silly woman, thinking you stand a chance against me. You’re mine, and I’ll do everything in my power to make sure your dumb head understands that.”

He ripped your clothes off harshly, and he unbuttoned his trousers to free his cock from the restraints. You expected him to penetrate you like he always did before. That was the only type of sex you two were familiar with. But this ‘new’ version of Steve had different plans.

Your eyes widened when his face lowered at your pussy, causing you to feel distressed. “W-Wait, don’t do that!…I-It probably smells, I don’t want you to get too close to it!”

“Oh, Y/N, my sweet wife. You’re so clueless. What I did and did not do before I disappeared was when I was a boy. But I’m a man now, and I’m going to teach you so many things of how we can pleasure each other.”

His tongue stuck out of his mouth and he licked a stripe of your cunt, causing you to cry out a moan. You have never felt anything like this before. It almost felt unreal. It only got worse when his tongue glided between your pussy lips, gathering all your juices for him to savour.

“You taste delicious, my love. There isn’t a thing that’s more tastier than your sweet pussy…” he mumbled into your sensitive skin.

Steve never talked like this during sex, and somehow you preferred him not to talk because it made it easier to not enjoy it. This Steve however was making it harder to hate it with each new thing he did, and it made you feel horrible about yourself.

Suddenly, Steve used what felt like his thumb to rub at a particular spot. It caused your whole body to jolt at once like you were electrocuted, and you felt an overwhelming heat spread across your whole body.

“Do you know what this little pearl is, doll? It’s called a clitoris. It’s your most sensitive part of your pussy, and it will only be recognized as what engorges your wetness and surrounds your vagina in 2009 - about 70 years from now on. It also has about 8,000 nerve endings, which is why you become so sensitive when I touch it. Isn’t that fascinating, my love?”

You didn’t pick up a word of what he was rambling about because you were too out of it from his circling motion of rubbing your pearly nub. You couldn’t stop moaning and panting. Again came that familiar feeling of a rising high. Before you knew it, the feeling hit you like a wave and you felt your hole quivering.

“Aaaww, you just came. How cute….” He cooed, with a victorious grin. “Now, let’s get to the main course of this session. Haven’t been in this pussy for a loooong time. And I’m sure you’ve been a good girl not having anyone else inside you, right?”

You didn’t respond to that question, still pretty out of what had taken place moments earlier.

He slapped your cheek lightly but harsh enough to take you out from your daze. “Answer me, whore.”

“N-No! I haven’t, Steve! No one has been inside of me since you disappeared! I promise!” You answered with frantic.

He smiled again. “Good.”

He aimed his cock at your hole and shoved himself in with little care. He groaned loudly, sounding so content with the current feeling. “Oh, I’ve missed her…missed your pussy so much…I’ve missed you..” he said followed with a grunt. “I’m so glad I’m back. Back together with you.”

For the rest of the evening, he would torture you with new tricks of his that opened a new world of sex for you. By the end of the night, Steve had you wrapped in his strong arms, whispering the most obscene things and promises in your ear. Most of them were connected to one promise that made you dread for the future.

A promise of never leaving you ever again.

Note from author: this turned out a lot longer than I originally planned but I really enjoyed the concept and couldn’t help myself. I’m a hoe for endgame AND 40s Steve.🧍Anyways, thank you @sadbucksblog for sharing your idea! <3 Hope you enjoy it!

(This has been reposted here as I have deleted my old account!)

Hearts & Reblogs are very appreciated! <3

#dark steve rogers x reader #40s steve rogers x reader #steve rogers x reader #dark steve rogers #steve rogers x female reader #drabble #chris evans fanfiction

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delicatebarness · 5 months ago

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until i found you

Summary: After a date at the new exposition, your jealous ex decides to pay you a visit.

Warning: 40s Bucky & Pre Serum Steve. Sexual Content. Jealousy/Possessiveness. Mature Language.

Word Count: 1329

Spotify Playlist | Support: Ko-FI

A/N: So, another one? Also, it's Friday somewhere... - Please feel free to leave feedback or let me know where and how you want the story to continue, this is just as much yours as mine. - B

The city hummed with excitement as the World Exposition of Tomorrow promised a brighter future amidst the shadows of war. City lights flickered, casting a magical glow over the bustling fairgrounds. You wandered through the crowds, hand in hand with your date, his laughter sent a deep pleasant hum to your ears as he shared a joke.

The charm of your companion blended seamlessly with the exhilaration of the fair, and the night felt alive with possibility. His hand found its way to your waist, resting casually, and for a moment, you were swept away by the joyous chaos– dazzling lights, the futuristic exhibits, and the promise of better days to come.

However, not far away, two pairs of eyes were fixated on you. Steve, your older brother, tried to focus on his own date, but his attention kept drifting your way. Frowning, he nudged his best friend, James ‘Bucky’ Barnes. “Oh swell, she’s dating him again,” Steve muttered, barely able to hide his frustration.

Snapping his attention to you, Bucky’s expression grew tense as he watched your date’s every move. Seeing you with another man, especially one he didn’t think much of, sparked a familiar unease. His blue eyes followed you intently, noting every touch, every laugh as his jaw tightened.

Steve sighed beside him. “Why couldn’t you two just make it work?”

Sensing eyes on you, you glanced around, locking eyes with Bucky. The bustling fair faded away, leaving only the intensity of his gaze. It was a look you knew well, protectiveness, concern, and a hint of possessiveness– something that had been between you since childhood, and something neither of you had ever moved on from.

Your on-and-off again relationship with Bucky– the laughter, the spats, silent understandings, and the love. The memories played like an old reel in your mind.

Your date tugged gently at your hand, drawing your attention back to him. Smiling, his eyes twinkled under the myriad lights, but you struggled to focus. Bucky once again left his mark, stirring up emotions you had tried to bury. The man beside you spoke again, but his words were muffled and distant.

Across the grounds, Bucky’s eyes never wavered from you– his thoughts consumed by you. The warmth of his date’s hand in his felt cold.

“Come on, Buck, just go talk to her,” Steve urged, sensing his friend’s turmoil. “You know you want to,”

Shaking his head slightly, Bucky’s jaw clenched. “I don’t want to make a scene,” he replied, though his eyes betrayed his resolve.

The apartment was quiet, the only sound the distant hum of the city outside. Slipping into your room, you had finished changing into your nightgown when you heard a soft knock at your door. “Come in,” you called out, setting your jewelry down on your vanity. Your heart pounded as you glanced in the mirror, finding Bucky standing at the door through the reflection. His eyes were dark and intense.

“Can we talk?” he asked quietly, stepping inside before you could answer.

You nodded, watching as he closed the door behind him.

His hands clenched at his sides, taking a deep breath. “I can’t stand seeing you with him,” he admitted, his voice low. “It drives me crazy seeing you with someone else, Doll. It’s like a knife to the gut.”

You barely noticed the distance between you closing, until you felt his fingers tracing up your arm. “It was only one date…”

Pulling you closer, his grip tightened on your arm. “I don’t like it, not one bit. I hate seeing you with anyone else. It makes me… I just can’t stand it.”

You leaned into his touch, the familiar warmth of his hand grounding you. “What about your date, huh?”

Bucky’s thumb brushed along your lip, a smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth. “She’s not you, Doll. No one else ever could be.”

The room seemed to shrink around you, the air thick with anticipation. His lips found yours, deep and urgent, the kiss filled with years of longing and unspoken love. His hands moved to your waist, pulling you closer as you melted into him.

As the kiss intensified, he guided you towards the bed. Your fingers fumbled with the buttons of his shirt, your hands trembling as you helped him undress. He slipped the nightgown from your shoulders, letting it pool at your feet as you stood before him, vulnerability and desire intertwining.

His eyes roamed over you, his breath hitching as he took you in. “You’re mine,” he spoke, his voice a possessive whisper. You found yourself in a whirlwind of desire as his lips traced a path down your neck. His hands explored your body with a hunger that matched your own.

You pushed him gently onto the bed, and with a flicker of urgency, you straddled him as his hands roamed boldly. His fingers traced the contours of your back, grazing over sensitive spots that made you gasp with pleasure.

His touch ignited sparks along your skin as his lips trailed down your chest. Then, with practiced ease and confidence, he rolled you onto your back. You arched into him, aching for more of the friction that threatened to drive you wild.

With a growl of need, he positioned himself above you, his gaze locking with yours. Welcoming him eagerly, your bodies melded together in a dance as old as time itself. Waves of pleasure coursed through your body as you felt the sensation of him filling you.

He moved with a primary urgency, each thrust pushing you closer. You dug your nails into his shoulders, anchoring yourself to him as you surrendered to the pleasure that enveloped you both.

Your moans filled the air, mingling with his ragged breaths. He leaned down, finding your lips in a hungry kiss that threatened to steal your breath away. Your fingers trailed up into his hair, pulling him closer as you matched his urgency. The pleasure was exquisite, a sensation only he knew how to cause.

But as pressure built up within you, Bucky’s hand moved swiftly to cover your mouth. His eyes locked with yours in a desperate plea for silence, a reminder of the need for discretion in the confines of your apartment. However, that only heightened the thrill, adding a layer of forbidden excitement to your shared passion.

Melting into him, your moans stifled against his hand, surrendering to the overwhelming pleasure that coursed through your veins. And, you clung to each other as you rode the waves of ecstasy until they crashed over you in a tidal wave of release. Your bodies trembling, hearts racing as you basked in the moment.

As you lay intertwined in the aftermath, your breathing slowly evened out. His hand fell from your mouth, tracing his fingers gently across your cheek. His eyes held adoration and reverence as he pressed a soft kiss to your forehead.

The first light of dawn painted soft hues against your bedroom wall as you stirred in Bucky’s arms, his body warmth contrasting with the morning chill. Reluctantly, you both rose and dressed in comfortable silence. After a long, lingering kiss, he left your room, closing the door gently behind him.

Just as he closed the door, another door opened, and Steve stepped out of his room, rubbing his eyes. Both men froze for a moment, their gazes locked in the quiet hallway. Steve’s eyes widened slightly as he took in the sight of Bucky emerging from your room. His shirt rumpled slightly and his hair tousled.

Without a word, Steve’s expression shifted to one of knowing acceptance, a silent acknowledgment passed between them. Bucky’s eyes filled with gratitude and resolve as he gave Steve a sheepish nod. A faint smirk tugged at his lips as Steve simply raised an eyebrow before turning toward the kitchen.

The two men continued in companionable silence, unspoken words settling comfortably between them as freshly brewed coffee filled the air.

#until i found you series #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes #bucky x reader #bucky x you #bucky x y/n #bucky x female reader #bucky fanfic #james bucky barnes #bucky fic #40s!bucky x rogers!reader #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x female reader #bucky barnes x rogers!reader #steve rogers x sister!reader #pre serum steve #bucky barnes smut #bucky barnes fanfiction

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sergeantbarnessdoll · 7 months ago

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Hey hun ☺️

just read your new Bucky barnes fic (the one with the pinup girl) and it gave me an idea.

what abt Steve Rogers (the 1940s one) meeting {and fucking} his celebrity crush who he has fantasised about and been in love with since FOREVER and she was like the only girl he ever thought about back when all the girls buck set him up with would reject him (If that makes sense, like she gave him hope or sm)

🥰��

Better Than Fantasies » Post Serum Steve Rogers

Pairings: Post Serum Steve Rogers x Celebrity!Female Reader

Summary: Steve’s fantasies are way better than he imagines when he meets his celebrity crush.

Warnings: mix of Fluff and Smut (18+), language, alcohol, flirting, kissing, hickeys, blowjob, unprotected sex, riding, praise kink, size kink, Steve’s dog tags, pet names

A/N: Thank you to the lovely anonymous person who requested this🩵 also I hope you don’t mind that I choose to write this with Post Serum Steve Rogers cause that’s how I imagined it🥰

Written on my phone. I’m sorry for any mistakes.

Header made by @buckys-wintersoldier

GIF IS NOT MINE! Credit goes to the creators. I found it on Pinterest.

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!!🔞

Steve knew who you are the second he seen you. He stopped in his tracks when he seen you talking to Peggy. Bucky walked up next to him, furrowing his eyebrows when he seen his best friend in a daze.

“What are you staring at?” Bucky asks him.

“Her.” Is all Steve said.

Bucky followed Steve’s gaze to you. He smirks to himself, knowing who you are as well. You’re Steve’s celebrity crush.

“What’s she doing here?” Steve asks curiously.

“I don’t know.” Bucky shrugs his shoulders.

Steve’s eyes widened and his heart began pounding when you started walking towards him. Bucky watched as Steve smoothed out his uniform and fixed his hair.

“Here’s two more of our soldiers.” Peggy tells you. “This is Captain Steve Rogers and Sergeant James Barnes. Boys, this is Y/N Y/L/N.” She introduced you to them. “I’m sure you two have heard of her.” She says.

“It’s very nice to meet you guys!” You say with a smile, holding out your hand for them to shake.

Bucky shook your hand while Steve continued to stare at you in awe. He couldn’t believe this was happening. He thought he’d never get a chance to meet you, but here he is right now. Bucky gently elbows Steve in his side to snap him out of his thoughts.

“You have to forgive him. He’s a big fan of yours.” Bucky says.

“That’s sweet.” You smiled at him. “Peggy said she’s going to show me around the base, but I would love to hangout with you if that’s ok.” You say.

“That’s more than ok with me.” Steve says, feeling his cheeks heat up.

You gave him a smile before following Peggy for a tour of the Army base.

“She wants to hangout with me.” Steve says to himself. “She wants to hangout with me!” He says again, a smile growing on his face.

Bucky couldn’t help but smile, happy that his best friend might be able to have a chance with a girl. He set him up with girls, but they always rejected him. That was before he got the serum.

Later that day, Steve and Bucky went to a bar after a day of training. Heads turned when you walked in the bar. Steve turned around, smiling when he seen you. You made eye contact with him and smiled, making your way over to him.

“Hi, Steve.” You say with a smile, taking a seat next to you.

“Hi, Y/N.” Steve says, smiling.

“Hi, Bucky.” You say.

“Hi, Y/N.” Bucky stood up. “I’ll leave you two alone.” He says, winking at Steve before walking away.

You ordered yourself a drink and sat back down at the table with Steve.

“So Steve…” You took a sip of your drink. “Tell me about yourself.” You say.

Steve looked at you for a moment, blinking a couple times. This is the first time a girl has ever wanted to get to know him.

“Umm well…” Steve starts. “I grew up in Brooklyn, New York with Bucky.” He says.

“That’s it?” You asked.

“I’m sorry.” He apologizes. “This is the first time a girl asked to get to know me. Girls have rejected me a lot in the past.” He says, his cheeks turning red in embarrassment.

“Hey…” You put a hand on top of his. “You have nothing to apologize for.” You tell him in almost a whisper. “Besides those girls are missing out.” You say.

A smile formed on Steve’s lips.

“I like you. That’s all that matters.” You smiled at him. “Wanna get out of here?” You asked.

“Yes!” Steve says a little too fast.

You stood up, holding your hand out for him which he happily took in his. You two walked out of the bar hand in hand, making your way to his bunk.

“Nice poster.” You say, smiling when you seen a poster of you on his wall.

“Bucky got it for me for my birthday last year.” He tells you.

“That’s nice of him.” You say with a smile.

Awkward silence filled the room. Steve wasn’t sure what to say to you. He didn’t think he’d get this far.

“So Steve…” You walked towards him, making him walk backwards. “We both know that we didn’t come here to talk.” You say.

“We-” His back hit the closed door behind him. “We didn’t?” He says more like a question.

“Let me ask you something…” Your hand grasped his tie, making his breath hitch in his throat. “Have you ever kissed a girl, Captain?” You asked.

“No.” He answers, his cheeks turning red in embarrassment.

You gave his tie a tug, pulling him down just enough for you to kiss him. Steve was caught by surprise, but he kissed you back. His hands found their way to your waist. Your free hand roamed his body, stopping on his bulge. Steve slightly jumped at your boldness.

“Wait a second…” Steve breathes, pulling away from your lips.

“Is something wrong?” You asked, looking in his beautiful blue eyes.

“I’m- I’m a virgin.” He tells you, his cheeks turning red in embarrassment.

“Oh god…” You took your hand off of his bulge. “I’m so sorry.” You apologized. “I didn’t mean to overstep.” You say.

“It’s ok.” He assures. “If I’m being honest, I have been fantasizing about this.” He tells you. “Kissing you and more.” He says.

“Tell me about the more part, Captain.” You say, biting your bottom lip.

“You on your knees, sucking my… cock.” His cheeks turned even more red. “Then we get on my bed and have sex.” He says.

“Lucky for you, Captain, I can make those fantasies come true.” You seductively said. “Only if you want to.” You say.

“Yes please.” He says.

You sunk down to your knees. You looked up at him, waiting for permission to go further. He nodded his head, meeting you know you can go further. You unbuckled his belt and undid his dress pants, pulling his pants down just enough for his hard cock to spring out. Your eyes widen at his size. You wrapped your hand around his cock and pumped it in your hand, swiping your thumb over his tip to use his precum as a lubricant while looking up at him with an innocent look on your face. A small moan fell from Steve’s lips. You wrapped your lips around his tip, sucking on it a little before moving your mouth further down on his cock. You bobbed your head while your hand pumped what couldn’t fit in your mouth.

“Oh my god…” Steve moans, loving the feeling of your mouth.

Steve felt like he was in another world. He couldn’t believe this was happening. His celebrity crush on her knees and sucking his cock. He never thought this would happen. This is the farthest he’s ever been with a girl. He knows one thing, he loves what’s happening in this very moment.

Steve was snapped out of his thoughts when you took his cock out of your mouth and licked from the base of his cock to his tip. You also licked along the veins of his cock. His eyes rolled to the back of his head when you did that.

“Fuck…” He moans. “Do that again.” He says.

You obeyed him and did it again. A moan of your name left his lips when you did that. He watched closely as your tongue swirled around his cock. Your tongue swirled around his tip, making him want more. Your hand pumped his cock as you continued your actions with your tongue. Steve felt his orgasm building up sooner than he liked.

“I-I’m close.” Steve stutters through a moan.

You put his cock back in your mouth and sucked his cock like your life depends on it. He was getting closer and closer to the edge when a loud moan of your name left his lips as he came in your mouth. Steve leaned against the door panting while you stood up from the floor, your knees red from being on the floor for so long. Steve’s eyes were filled with lust as he looked at you.

Steve got a confidence boost and kissed you hungrily. You moaned against his lips. He pushed the straps of your dress off of your shoulders and pulled your dress off your body, letting it pool around your feet. One of Steve’s hands went behind your back and unclasped your bra, letting it fall from your chest. He picked you up and walked you over to his bed, gently laying you down.

“How’s it fair that I’m almost naked and you’re not?” You say with a playful pout.

Steve chuckles before standing up and took off his clothes. He spread your legs and hovered over you. His Army dog tags were dangling above you. You grasped on the chain and pulled him down for another hungry kiss. His lips moved to your neck. You gasped when you felt his teeth nip at your skin hard enough for a hickey. He kissed his way down your body, stopping at the waistband of your panties. He looked up at you for permission. You lifted your hips, giving him permission. Steve hooked his fingers in the waistband of your panties and pulled them down your legs, dropping them on the floor by his bed. He kissed your inner thighs, getting closer to where you need him most. A shiver went through your body when you felt his breath on your pussy.

Steve paused for a moment, not sure what to do next. He licked his lips at the sight of your wet pussy. He knows one thing… he’s always wondered what you taste like. His tongue gave your pussy a curious lick, moaning at your taste. A moan left your lips when he did that. He did it again, earning another moan from you. His tongue licked from your entrance to your clit. He swirled his tongue in circles around your clit. Steve knew he was doing something right when you kept moaning his name. He decided to take it a step further. He wrapped his arms around your thighs and pulled you closer to him. He latched his lips on your clit and sucked on it while his tongue moved against your folds. Your hands found their way to his head, tugging on his hair.

“Oh Steve!” You moaned.

Your moans encouraged Steve. His tongue moved faster against your folds. One of his arms unwrapped from your thigh, bring his fingers to your pussy. He slowly slid one finger inside of you, groaning when he felt your tightness around his finger. You moaned when you felt his finger moving along your walls.

For Steve’s first time making a woman feel good, he’s aced it. You felt like you were on top of the world with the way he was making you feel in this very moment. You learned something new about him in that moment, he’s skilled with his fingers and tongue. Your curiosity was peaked. You let your mind wander. You were wondering what his cock felt like inside of you. Your thoughts were cut short when Steve unexpectedly slid another finger in your pussy.

“Oh fuck, Steve!” You moaned more in a whine.

Steve’s eyes glanced up at you, watching as pleasure took over your body. His other arm let go of your thigh and slid his hand up your body, stopping at your breasts. His thumb rubbed over your nipple before pinching it. A moan left your lips and a tingling sensation went through your body. He repeated his actions with your other breast, earning the same reaction from you. You arched your back off the bed in pleasure, pushing your breasts more into his hand.

“Oh yes, fuck!” You moaned loudly when his fingers hit your sweet spot. “Right there!” You tell him, followed by a moan.

Steve’s fingers continued to hit your sweet spot while his mouth worked on your clit and his free hand stayed on your breast. Soon enough, your orgasm was building up. Rather quickly you might add.

“I’m so close!” You moaned.

His name left your lips as you came, soaking his face and fingers. Steve pulled his fingers out of your pussy and sat up, hovering over you. You stared up at him, trying to catch your breath.

“How- Where-” You were unable to form a coherent sentence as you tried to ask Steve where he learned to eat a girl out like that.

“If you’re wondering where I learned how to eat out a girl, Bucky told me how.” Steve says.

“Remind me to thank him later.” You giggled. “Now…” You used all of your strength to flip the two of you over so Steve was laying on the bed and you were on top of him, straddling him. “I want to make your fantasies come true.” You lean down to kiss him. “Only if you want to go any further.” You say, not wanting to pressure him into doing anything he doesn’t want to do.

“Please…” He begs. “I want this. I want you.” He says.

You kissed him once more before lifting yourself up and picked up his cock, lining it at your tight entrance. Both of you gasped, when you slowly sunk down on his cock. His tip only stretched your pussy. It hurt, but it also felt good. Steve watched intensely as his cock disappeared in your pussy. Steve groans softly, loving the tight feeling of your pussy wrapped around his cock. You on the other hand took a moment to adjust to his size.

“Don’t be afraid to get handsy with me, Captain.” You say seductively.

You placed your hands on Steve’s strong chest and moved up, only leaving his tip inside of you and slide back down. You rode him at a decent pace, not wanting to overwhelm him during his first time.

“Y-You can go faster if you want.” Steve stutters through a small moan.

You increased your speed just enough to get you two wanting more. Steve was mesmerized by your breasts bouncing as you rode him. He lifted his hands to your breasts and played with them as you rode him. Suddenly, Steve wrapped one of his arms around your waist and sat up, leaning his back against the headboard so he can mark up your breasts with hickeys. That created a new angle for the both of you.

“Oh fuck, Steve!” You moaned.

One of Steve’s hands was occupied with your breasts while his free hand roamed your body, stopping on your ass and gave your ass cheek a squeeze. You playfully gasped at his actions. You leaned your head down and placed your lips on his neck, marking him up.

“There.” You pulled away from his neck, grinning as a hickey slowly began to form on his skin. “Now everyone will know that you’re mine now.” You say, biting your bottom lip.

Steve moaned when you called him yours. It’s like he wants everyone to know that he belongs to you now.

“You like that?” You almost whispered. “You want everyone to know who you belong to?” You asked seductively.

Steve nodded his head eagerly. You bit your bottom lip as you put your hands on his strong shoulders, steadying yourself. Steve’s hand that was on your breasts wandered down to your ass. His hands grasped your ass cheeks and moved you faster on his cock. Loud moans left your lips at his actions. Your eyes fluttered shut and you tilted your head back, enjoying the pleasure. A small squeak left your lips when Steve pinched your ass cheek.

“Eyes on me.” He tells you. “I want you to look at me while you ride me.” He says confidently.

You looked in his beautiful blue eyes that are now filled with lust. You leaned down, kissing him sloppily. Your hands found their way to his head, your fingers tugging at his hair. He moaned at the feeling. You pulled away from his lips, tilting your head back and moaned when his cock hit your sweet spot.

“Yes! Fuck!” You moaned.

Steve knew he found your sweet spot again and smirked proudly. One of his hands found its way to where the two of you are connected and began to rub your clit in circles.

“You’re going to make me cum if you keep doing that!” You moaned, referring to his fingers rubbing your clit.

That was Steve’s goal. He applied a little bit of pressure on your clit as he continued to rub it causing your pussy to squeeze around his cock. Steve moaned at the feeling. You felt your beginning to build up the more he rubbed your clit. You felt your lower stomach tighten. It felt like a rubber band was about to snap inside of you.

“Stevie, I’m- mmm fuck!” You were cut off by a moan leaving your lips.

“Cum for me, sweetheart.” Steve says huskily.

Your eyes rolled to the back of your head and a loud moan of his name left your lips as you came. Steve gave your clit one last rub before focusing on his own orgasm which wasn’t too far behind yours. You could tell that he was getting closer to cumming from how sloppy his thrusts were as he thrusted up into you.

“I know you’re close.” You panted. “Cum for me, Stevie. Cum inside of me.” You say followed by a moan.

After a few more thrusts, Steve came inside of you. Your bouncing and his thrusts came to a slow stop. He carefully lifted you up, his cock sliding out of you, making you whine at the loss of his cock being inside of you. He carefully laid you down next to him and covered the two of you up with a blanket and wrapped his arm around you while you laid you laid your head on his chest, your fingers playing with his dog tags.

“That was way better than what I fantasized.” Steve says after a couple minutes of silence.

“I’m happy that I made your fantasies come true.” You say, leaning up to kiss his lips softly.

“Thank you for giving me a chance.” He says.

“I will always give you a chance, Stevie.” You say with a smile.

🪖🪖🪖🪖🪖🪖🪖🪖🪖🪖🪖🪖🪖🪖🪖🪖🪖

-Bucky’s Doll

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killazilla777 · 2 months ago

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i miss pre winter soldier bucky 😥

#marvel #Captain america #Captain America the first avenge #bucky barnes #winter soldier #bucky barnes x reader #Steve rogers #the winter soldier #1940s bucky #40s bucky #pre war bucky

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curlycow01 · 4 months ago

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Sunflowers and Starry Nights

Pairing: 1940s Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: You and Bucky meet at a bar and form an unexpected bond

Warnings: Fluff? A lot of it

A/n: It's been three months since I've posted and I got this random idea and itched to write it. Hope you enjoy!

Tags: @lanabuckybarnes

Slow jazz and the strong smell of alcohol surrounded the bar Bucky sat in. He was alone in the booth while Steve chatted away with Peggy. His eyes scanned the bar, searching for someone who might need company. Then his gaze fell on you.

You nervously shuffled through the drab of olive and khaki as you were approached by Bucky. "Hey" he greeted and flashed a charming smile. "What's a lady like you doing in a dump like this?"

"Oh" you were a bit intimidated suddenly being approached by a handsome soldier. "I'm here to meet a friend" you answered. "What's your name?' he asked as he extended his hand. "Y/n" you replied, shaking his hand. "Nice to meet you Sergeant" "Just Bucky" he corrected "you said you were here to meet a friend, right? Maybe I could help you find them"

"They must've forgotten I'm here, with the alcohol and everything" you politely declined, glancing around the dimly lit bar. Bucky took a seat in the booth beside you and gestured you to sit. Since your friend forgot about you, you didn't mind the company.

"So, tell me about yourself, what brings you to Brooklyn in the middle of the war?" He asks curiously. "I came here to attend the Art College" you said with a hint of excitement. "My professor said that my art could lift people's spirits, especially soldiers, so I came here."

"Art, huh?" Bucky says leaning back "That's pretty neat. It's great that you have your own way of contributing in the war" You nod "I'm just trying to help in any way I can." He gets an idea. His blue eyes glint with excitement as he speaks "What do you say to me taking you to explore the city tomorrow? I've got a couple hours before I'm needed back at Base"

"I'd love to" you agree. "It's a date then" he smiles.

The next day, Bucky arrives at your college, wearing a blue jacket and black jeans instead of his usual uniform. You join him outside. "Ready to go?" He offers his arm, with a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.

His smile widens as you nod and take his arm, leading you through the bustling streets. The buildings were old, seeing wars come and go. He points out landmarks, and tells you stories of the past, even managing to coax a few smiles from you. Bucky learns that you paint sceneries, and you learn about his best friend Steve.

Cool evening air blew as you both headed over to the park. The moon hung high above the both of you, a beacon in the night sky. Bucky took a deep breath, his chest expanding underneath the jacket "You know, I used to love looking up at the moon like this" he said, his voice wistful "Back when things were much simpler" He squeezed your hand gently.

"The moon is something special, isn't it? your voice barely a whisper as you looked at the moon. "Back home I'd sit outside and sketch it for hours." You turned to him "Thank you for today Bucky. It's been a long time since I felt so...at ease."

"Your welcome doll" he smiled "It's not every day I get to play tour guide for a pretty lady with a penchant for the stars." You both took a seat on a nearby bench, his grip on your hand still firm, yet comforting.

"You're a good person Y/n" Bucky states quietly with a mix of affection and respect "Coming all this way to do your part. Your art will mean a lot to us out there" His thumb brushes against your knuckles. "Thanks Bucky" there's a rustle of leaves and a distant murmur of the city as you continued "You're pretty special yourself. And you're fighting for all of us, I can't imagine how hard that must be." you squeezed his hand back, as a silent acknowledgement of his bravery.

He leaned back against the bench, his arm brushing against yours "I'm just doing what I have to" He looks at you with affection and something else you can't figure out "But spending time with you, that's something I'm doing 'cause I want to.

~~~

As the weeks passed by, you and Bucky got closer, and you found yourself sitting in the art classroom. You weren't really paying attention to the instructor as your thoughts drifted to Bucky. His charm and kindness leaving a mark on your heart.

Bucky too, found himself lost in thought. His mind wandering to the quiet moments he shared with you during the chaos of the war. He'd catch himself smiling at the memory of your laugh, the way you tilted your head while concentrating on a painting. His feelings for you had grown each passing day and he knew that he had to say something before he had to leave to fight. Bucky knew he wouldn't let this war take you away from him.

So, one night he managed to sneak out of the Base for a couple hours, the stars twinkling in the sky as he made his way to the College. His heart raced as he entered the building and neared your classroom. "Y/n?"

Your heart fluttered as you heard Bucky's voice. You looked up from the easel, joy flooding through you as you saw his silhouette in the doorway. "Bucky" your voice was a mixture of surprise and delight as you walked over to him. "Come in. Its good to see you"

The room was dimly lit with the faint scent of oil paints lingering in the air. "Doll" he said, his voice filled with emotion "I've been thinking about you a lot" he takes a step closer, his hand reaching out to rest on your cheek "I know this isn't the right place or time, but I had to tell you this" He took a deep beath before continuing "You mean a lot to me, and made me feel things I haven't felt in years. And it just feels right with you." His other hand finds yours. "I'm falling for you doll"

You felt a warmth spread through your body as you take in Bucky's confession. You stepped closer to him, placing your free hand on his chest. "Bucky" you whisper "You don't know how much that means to me" you were close enough to take in the scent of the cologne "The war has taken so much from people, but you've given me a reason to keep fighting." your voice trembled slightly "And I've fallen for you too"

Bucky cupped your face in both hands "You have no idea how much I needed to hear that" he leaned in and his lips met yours in a soft and gentle kiss. His hands stayed on your cheeks as you both pulled away. "I won't leave before seeing you, that's a promise doll." He murmured.

"Do you want to take a walk?" you whispered, desperately wanting to spend as much time as possible before he had to go. "That's all I want to do doll" his voice has a tinge of reluctance as he continues "But I have to get back to Base." He took your hand and kissed the back of it. "I will come back to you."

~~~

A few days later a knock on your dorm door interrupted you from your painting. You opened the door and your stomach flipped as you saw Bucky on the other side. Before you could say anything, he stepped closer and kissed you, his soft lips moving against yours before pulling away.

"Sorry" he smirked "Couldn't resist" He handed you flowers which were hidden behind his back. "Thank you Bucky" you smiled "How did you know sunflowers were my favorite? "I noticed how you added little sunflowers in the corners of your paintings" he replied as he entered the dorm. "Figured they're your favorite"

"They are" you said as you put them in a makeshift vase. "So what are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be preparing to head out? you asked him as you turned around. "I promised to see you before I go didn't I?" "And I managed to take a day off, so I'm all yours"

"Fantastic" you said happily as you pulled him further into the dorm and closer to you. He wrapped his arms around you in a warm embrace. "Let's just...be" you mumbled into his chest "No war, no leaving. just us" He hums in agreement as he buries his face into your hair, taking in the scent of paints.

"What do you want to do?" he asks, his arms still wrapped around you. "I don't know" you thought for a moment. "Any ideas?"

"Doll" he paused as he glanced at the canvas. "Do you want to paint together?" you look up at him "You want to paint with me?" "Yeah" he confirms.

You lead him to an empty canvas. "But remember, I'm no Van Gogh or anything" His smile tinged with mischief. "My talents are better suited for other things"

"Don't worry, I'll teach you the basics" you reassured, feeling flustered. "What do you want to paint?" He glances around for a moment and sees the vase "Sunflowers?" you huffed a laugh "Very original. But it'll do"

You open the paints and hand him a paint brush. "How about you paint the sunflowers and I do the background?" He nods "You're in charge doll, I'll do my best." He dips the brush into the paint, his hand trembling slightly.

"Just relax Bucky" you say soothingly "Imagine sunflowers, growing wild and free, let that feeling guide your strokes" "Wild and free, huh?" he teases as he begins to paint.

The brush moves clumsily at first, but under your guidance, the petals start to take shape. "You're doing great" you encourage, hand hovering over his, ready to help if needed.

"You know" Bucky's voice is low and thoughtful as he adds a little brown to the brush "I think I know what I want to do after the war's over" "What is it?"

"I want to settle down, maybe find a little place with a garden" he says, painting the sunflower's center carefully. "You can teach me more about art, and I'll grow those sunflowers for you, just like in your paintings."

"Really?" you choke out. "Yeah doll, somewhere quiet, just you and me." his voice is filled with hope and the brush strokes becoming more and more confident with each word.

Bucky's hand brushes against yours as you join him and work side by side, your eyes meeting every now and then. "I never thought I'd have something like this in the middle of the war" you murmur as you work on the night sky.

"Me neither doll, but you're the best surprise I've ever had" He adds the final details on the sunflowers. "That looks really good Bucky" you praise, impressed at the shades he'd tried to capture.

"Thanks doll, couldn't have done it without you" He leans over, kissing your cheek softly. He shifts and sits behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist and resting his chin on your shoulder as you completed the starry night.

"You've got a real knack for this doll" his voice is a rumble, his breath warm against your ear. "It's like watching you dance, but with paint" "At least I'm good at one thing"

he laughs "At one thing? You're more than just good at painting, you're the most amazing person I've ever met" His arms tighten around you and his cheek presses against yours. "Don't ever forget that"

You swallow a lump in your throat. "Thanks Bucky" "Don't thank me doll, it's just the truth" His eyes take in the completed painting as you put down the paintbrush. "It's beautiful" He whispers, full of admiration and awe.

Bucky's bright yellow sunflowers standing tall in the black and blue night of yours provided a nice contrast. It's more than just a painting, it was an expression of love.

"I'm so happy I met you" you admit to Bucky in a low voice. "You're more than happy doll" he nuzzled into the side of your neck "you're my whole world" he presses a gentle kiss "And that's something no war can take away from me.

~~~~~~

It's been 2 months since Bucky left to fight in the war. There's been radio silence, with little to no updates about what's going on. But you think about Bucky every day, missing him and the quiet moments you had shared in the limited time together.

You painted him often, trying to capture his charming smile and his uniform as accurately as you could. You missed his touch, kisses and wanted to hear him call you doll again. You believed with all your heart that he will come back. If there's one thing you've learned from Bucky, it's to never lose hope.

You woke up next morning, hearing loud noises and lots of laughter. You opened the window to see kids running down the cobblestone path yelling "WE WON!" "THE WAR'S OVER" Newspapers said the same thing.

It doesn't take long for you to grab your bag and coat and practically sprint to the station. A crowd of people had already gathered, waiting anxiously for their loved ones to come home to them. After what seems like ages the train finally arrives.

A lot of soldiers file out, but none of them were him. Where is he? Why isn't he here? what happened to-

"Y/N!" your head snaps up to the direction of the voice and relief floods through you as you and Bucky make eye contact. He strides towards you, his steps swift as he dodges through the throngs of people.

His eyes never leave yours as he scoops you up into his arms, spinning you around "You're here" his voice is gruff but filled with joy "I missed you so much doll"

You laugh with tears in your eyes "I've missed you too Bucky, so so much" "Let's get outta here" he says, setting you down gently. "I've got something to show you"

He leads you out of the crowded station and into the nearby woods, following a yellow dirt path until you both reach an opening. It's a small field with sunflowers and a cozy looking cottage in the middle of it.

"Bucky" you gasp "How did you find this?" He grins "I wanted to take a walk before leaving and found it on complete accident. But the moment I saw it, I knew it was perfect for us. So, I convinced the owner to sell it to me.

You glanced at the turquoise roof and white bricks of the cottage before looking back at Bucky.

"So, what do you say doll? Do you want to- " You pulled his face closer and crashed your lips to his.

"Doll I didn't even finish" he laughed as you both pulled away. "Yes I would love to live here with you" you breathed out. Bucky pulled you flush against his chest. "To new beginnings?" You nodded as you got lost in the depths of his sea blue eyes.

"To new beginnings"

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes fanfic #40s bucky #steve rogers

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crazyunsexycool · 1 year ago

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Between the pages of a journal

Pairing: Stucky x 40s!Reader

Summary: You had been in a relationship with Steve and Bucky up until the time they went off to war only to lose them both. Years later when Steve and Bucky have reunited the receive the letters and journals you had written. Through them they learn about your life without them.

word count: 6.0k

Warnings: character death, the blip/snap, implied domestic violence, major angst, some fluff... let me know if I forgot something.

A/N: Not really sure how I feel about the ending but over all I loved writing this and I hope you like it too.

Steve stood with a bouquet of your favorite flowers in his hands as he looked down at the slightly dirty headstone. One that sat towards the back of the small cemetery with your name on it. His fingers trace over your name after placing the flowers down. The date of your death mocks him. It was the day he woke up. The day that he had come back to life was the day yours had ended. In fact the difference had only been a few hours from the time that you closed your eyes for the last time and the time he opened his.

On good days Steve was grateful for that. You didn’t have to watch him walk back into your life looking as he did all those years ago while you were stuck in a bed, withering away. Wishing you had been able to live the life they had both promised you. On bad days he hated he didn’t get to say goodbye. But he had already been through the process of seeing someone he loved die when Bucky fell off the train. He wasn’t sure he would be able to do that with you. It had been you who begged him not to go. The fear in your eyes when Bucky got his orders still haunts him and it doubled when he told you he had been accepted. Now all that Steve has is the headstone with your name on it to grieve for both of his greatest loves. And he did it often.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hope.

Something Steve hadn’t felt in a long time. It bloomed in his chest the longer he looked at his long lost love. But just as quickly it faded.

“Bucky?” Steve stood in the middle of the street. Chaos erupting all around as he looked at the brunette with confusion and concern.

“Who the hell is Bucky?”

Just as quickly as he was there, Bucky was gone. Steve tried to look for him but there was no use. He had been arrested along with Nat and Sam.

If there was one single word to describe Steve Rogers at the moment it would be determined. As much as it hurt that his oldest friend and lover didn’t recognize him. Steve knew he had to save Bucky. If not for him than for you. It was one of the promises he made to you the morning he left. He would keep Bucky safe and they would come back home to you. At least now he could keep half of the promise.

The next time Steve would see Bucky it would be in a helicarrier. Blow by blow Steve tried to remind Bucky of who he was, what they meant to each other. In the end Bucky walked away after saving Steve. Still it was better knowing he was out and free than knowing that he was still under hydra’s control.

It would take some time but eventually Steve would find Bucky once again. With time and help, Bucky was free of hydra’s control and they slowly rebuilt their relationship. Soon Bucky began to remember you as well.

Now Steve didn’t feel so lost or so alone. The ache of loss was still there but it was made easier when he was able to turn in bed and find Bucky asleep next to him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There were many things Bucky and Steve needed to adjust to in the modern times they were now living in. Being able to love each other without fear of being persecuted was a liberating experience. So they found themselves walking hand in hand on a beautiful Saturday afternoon through a small park in Brooklyn. The same park that the three of you frequented when you didn’t have anywhere else to go.

You always packed a picnic and your journal, Bucky always had a new book to read out loud and Steve always had his sketchbook and pencils. There was one specific tree the three of you preferred to sit under. It was close to a small pond with the best shade and it was surrounded by bushes which afforded you the privacy the three of you craved.

While to the outside world it looked like you were being chaperoned by Steve while on a date with Bucky, the reality was that you were dating them both. This little corner of the park allowed the three of you to be free to love, touch and kiss each other as you wished.

It was this tree that provided cover for the three of you so long ago that Steve and Bucky came to look for now. Where Bucky carved your initials in the trunk within a heart. They hoped the tree was still there and they were gladly surprised that it was, initials included. The only difference though was the fact that there was a wrought iron bench in the once cleared space. Steve and Bucky make their way over.

“Y/N, would have loved to have a bench here.” Steve commented as he sat down.

Bucky hummed in agreement as he inspected the small plaque screwed into the armrest.

“Steve, look at this.”

The blond leans over to look at the inscription. His breath catches in his throat.

‘Til the end of the line.

A couple of tears hit the small plaque. Steve’s chin rests on Bucky’s shoulder and his arm wraps around the latter’s waist. They both just take a moment to look at it and appreciate that you had taken time and money to have this placed here in their honor. It felt like fate mocked them now that it was them that used this bench to remember you. For the remainder of their time in that park Steve and Bucky talk about their past, especially about you.

“Remember when she chased Tommy Phillips down the street with a broom?” Steve chuckled but it took Bucky a moment before he smiled.

“He kept following her home, right? Always tried to ask her out whenever we weren’t there to walk with her.”

“She ran right by me and only stopped because that cop was on the corner.”

Their smiles fade after a moment.

“I wish she were here. She would definitely love all this shit.” Bucky said as he waved his hand around vaguely.

Steve moved closer and gave Bucky a quick chaste kiss on the cheek before resting his head on Bucky’s shoulder. The blond took a deep breath before looking up at his love through his lashes.

“It’s rude to stare.”

“Well it’s not my fault you’re handsome.” Steve’s compliment makes Bucky blush.

“There’s something I want to talk to you about.”

“What is it?”

“I think it’s time we go see her. I know she’ll want to see you.”

Bucky looked up at him with a pained expression.

“What if she hates me?”

“She would never. She’s called me everyday since she heard you were alive.”

“Ok, we’ll go.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Are you sure I look ok?” Bucky asked as the couple stood in front of a door waiting for someone to answer their knocks.

“You look great baby, and trust me she’ll just be happy to see you.”

Steve had cupped Bucky’s face with his hands and leaned in to give him a kiss.

“What the fuck is going on here?”

They parted at the voice.

“Hey, watch your mouth.”

“I can say the same about you James.”

A staring contest happened until Bucky looked down.

“I’ve missed you, Becca.” Bucky said as he looked at his younger yet older sister. She was shorter and her hair was fully gray. The wrinkles were evidence of the time that had passed but the mischievous glint in her eyes told a different story.

She opened her arms and her brother gladly accepted the embrace.

It had been a shock to Bucky to learn that he had one living relative. Well one living sister, he of course knew of the kids all three of his sisters had but he couldn’t seek them out. Mostly for safety but truly he kept his distance because of his guilt. Who would want someone like him in their family?

When they finally pull away from each other in a hug that felt that lasted years and seconds at the same time, Becca cupped Bucky’s cheek softly. Her thumb moved back and forth on his cheek as he leaned into her touch. This time her eyes were full of tears and relief.

“I’ve missed you too. Now come in, we have so much to talk about.” She had grabbed Bucky’s hand like she did when she was younger and they had to cross the street.

They made their way into Becca’s cozy living room and sat down. Steve took the armchair while Bucky and Becca sat together on the couch. The latter started telling both of them everything they missed after they had disappeared, from meeting her late husband to her children and grandchildren. There were tears and laughs exchanged.

“I think we should head out Becs. But I’ll come by again soon.” Bucky promised as they all got up and headed towards the door.

“You’re both welcome anytime.”

They stop at the door, Bucky and then Steve hug Becca. Before the door is opened Becca speaks up again.

“Oh I can’t believe I almost forgot. I have something for you.” Becca shuffled along into the hallway and opened a door to a closet. “I’ll need your help Buck.”

He walks up behind her and she points towards two boxes high up on a shelf. Bucky pulls the first one down and hands it over to Steve before grabbing the second one.

“What’s in here?” Steve asks, his curiosity piqued.

“Letters and journals. They all belonged to Y/N. She wrote the letters whenever she missed you and you know she wrote in her journals all the time.”

Bucky and Steve looked at each other and then back at Becca.

“Why did you keep them?”

“Because she asked me too. The day she passed, I was with her and she asked me if I could hold on to them. Maybe someone would want to know about the love she had for both of you. It broke my heart when it was announced you were back.” She turned to Steve. “She would have loved to see you one last time.”

“What happened to her?”

“I’m surprised you didn’t ask earlier.”

“We never stop thinking about her but it hurts to know she isn’t here anymore.” Steve says with a sad smile.

“When we were informed that you were both gone she was a wreck. Ma forced her to move in with us so that we could be there for her. She would stay up in your room for hours just writing. We could hear Y/N crying for hours on end. This was just her way of coping.”

Both men thanked her again and they were gone. On their way to their shared apartment in Brooklyn they didn’t really talk, each of them holding a box under their arm. It was heavier than anything they’ve carried in the past. It was all that was left of you.

They didn’t know it yet but their heart would break with every single letter or entry of your journal they read.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

March 10th, 1945

My love,

I received your letter last night. I’m so sorry you had to go through that alone. You know Bucky wouldn’t blame you, and neither do I. But please, if not for yourself than for me, take care of yourself. I don’t care that you have that serum, don't do anything reckless. We’ve already lost Bucky, I don’t know if I’d be able to live knowing I lost you too.

I know you think the Barnes’ hate you but they don’t, they’re just as worried about you as they were about their son. They know how much we love Bucky and they can’t wait for you to come back home.

I love you so much. I can’t wait to see you again.

Love,

Y/N

P.S. I’m with you til the end of the line.

Steve tried and failed to swallow the lump in his throat, the tears won as they slowly trailed down his cheek and onto the aged paper. It was a response to the letter he had sent you, telling you about Bucky’s death. He felt so much guilt then, still did from time to time. Once Bucky was free of hydra’s hold he reassured Steve he wasn’t to blame.

Steve was sure you’d blame him too. But the return to sender stamp with the date on the envelope the letter had gotten to him too late. It was just a day after he had crashed the plane into the ocean. Now decades later you gave him peace. Somehow he felt that it wasn’t fair.

That night Bucky held Steve close. Placing soft kisses on his cheek and whispering sweet nothings in his ear.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Normally when they didn’t have missions or early training both men loved to stay in bed, pretend the time they were living in wasn’t real, that you’d walk in through the door at any moment and take your place in between them. That your lips would search for theirs and your hands would roam their bodies as gently but demanding as they did before.

This time when Steve woke up the spot next to him was empty. He got up and walked toward the living room, the closer he got the more he could hear small sobs and sniffles. When he rounded the corner he found Bucky sitting in the middle of the room. Letters and journals sat open around him. Bucky was currently reading a journal and when he heard Steve’s footsteps he looked up. His eyes were rimmed red, it was obvious he had been there a while.

“What are you reading?”

“Nothing.” Bucky held the notebook close to his chest.

“If it’s nothing then I should be able to read it too.”

Bucky shook his head as his grip on the journal tightened. He averted his eyes when Steve sat beside him and held his hand out. Reluctantly the brunette moved to hand the notebook over but stopped.

“You have to remember she was grieving when she wrote it.”

May 3rd, 1945

What did I do to deserve this? We were supposed to be planning the rest of our lives. Now I have to plan two funerals. The only thing in those matching empty coffins was my heart.

What am I supposed to do now? Everything I had planned was with Steve and Bucky.

I hate not knowing what comes next and I hate them for making me love them. How could they do this to me? How could they leave me alone?

Steve put the journal down and sighed. He remembers going to the cemetery and finding the headstone that was being removed with his name on it, the one to his left was Bucky’s. He’d never allowed himself to put too much thought into what that must have been like for you. Mostly because he would break his own heart thinking about you mourning them alone. He knew it wasn’t fair and there was nothing that he could do to make it right.

After that day they became obsessed with your writing. There were years worth of it but they decided to pace themselves. Instead of sitting down and reading for hours they instead decided to read one letter and one journal entry a day.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

July 4th, 1945

Dear Stevie,

Happy birthday my Love. I miss you so much but I find some comfort in knowing that at least you and Bucky are together somewhere, hopefully looking down on me. I went to the park today for the first time since you both went off to war. It’s not the same without you here but it was a beautiful day, you would have liked it.

I signed up for an art class and it went as well as you would expect. Everything at my station, except the canvas had paint on it. Even my dress. But I think you’d be proud that I went for it. The little painting I managed to make is hanging up in the living room next to yours. If only we had convinced Bucky to paint something I would have a perfect set.

I’ll never stop loving either of you.

Y/N

P.S. I’m with you til the end of the line.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Through missions and long days of training recruits, both men carried some of your writing with them. As time went by they noticed your shift from grieving to trying to survive. It was a journey for them reading your struggles in your everyday life. Steve and Bucky would be lying if they said they didn’t have a favorite letter or journal entry. There were some that reminded them of the happy young woman they had fallen for. Those were the ones they carried with them.

****

Bucky had been through a difficult mission. He had been confronted by his past again and he was putting his walls up as he sat away from the rest of the team on the jet. Some of the others tried to talk to him but he just kept quiet and his eyes fixated on the wall ahead of him. Sam quietly walked up to him and placed an envelope on the seat next to him and walked away. That caught Bucky’s attention and he turned to see his name in your handwriting. He picked it up and opened the envelope as carefully as he could until he was able to retrieve the piece of paper out.

August 25th, 1946

Dear Jamie,

I took the girls to Coney Island today. I know they wished you could have been here with us. Becca and Elizabeth finally convinced Mary to get on the cyclone. It reminded me of when you made Stevie go on and he threw up afterward.

They had a great time. Maybe next time I’ll try to win something for them at one of those game booths but I’m not as good at them as you.

It was nice to be with them. They’ve grown so much in such a short time. You’d be so proud at how well they’re doing. Elizabeth has started reading all of your books and Mary is starting to like science more. But Becca looks the most like you and she’s taking the role of protective big sister very seriously (wonder where she got that from?). I promise to keep an eye on them since they like getting into trouble from time to time.

I love you so much,

Y/N

P.S. I’m with you til the end of the line.

Bucky smiled as he imagined poor little Mary on the Cyclone. Then his smile got slightly bigger as he recalled the day you had mentioned. You had been so mad at him for making Steve get on. But it didn’t take much to get on your good side again.

Bucky finally looked back up, his eyes meeting Sam’s. He nodded in a silent thanks to his teammate.

It was no secret amongst the Avengers that both men had been in love and dated the same woman at the same time. No one really said anything, except the occasional joke from Tony. Sam and Nat took it upon themselves to ask them questions about you, especially when they seemed to be having a hard time at work. At the mention of your name they could see how the super soldier’s demeanor would instantly change.

Their shoulders would drop, a small smile would appear on their lips but it was the sense of longing Nat and Sam saw in their eyes that really let them know you meant more to them than being just some girl from their past.

~~~~~~~~

They had been more than halfway through your journals and letters when they finally found another interesting entry. There was both a sense of relief and a bit of jealousy as they read it.

June 18th, 1950

I’ve met someone. I’m still not sure how I feel about it but he asked me out on a date. Johnny Richards is his name and he seems kind. Becca has tried to make me say yes that Bucky would want me to move on but I’m not so sure he would, ha! He’d probably pout and cross his arms over his chest and give me his puppy dog eyes to convince me to not go out with him.

Steve looked up to find Bucky sitting exactly how you had described him and he smiled.

I think I’m going to say yes though. He’ll never be Steve or Bucky but I think I deserve to find some type of happiness. We’ll just have to see how the first date goes.

They read the rest of that journal quickly. Your entries talked about how your dates with Johnny were going but mostly they compared him to them. Steve and Bucky weren’t even sure you realized that you were even doing it. With everything Johnny would do for you, you would write down how Steve and Bucky would have done it instead. They found it odd however that the journal was left incomplete. It prompted them to start looking through both boxes again only to come up empty handed. The one thing they did realize was that journal entries picked up in a new notebook with the year 1952.

“That’s almost two years missing.” Bucky finally said after rechecking everything. A sinking feeling in his chest the longer they searched only to find nothing.

“We can ask Becca tomorrow. We should get some rest.”

~~~~~~~~~~

The next morning both men head over to Becca’s home hoping to get some answers. However when she opens the door she isn’t surprised to see them. She dreaded the conversation she was going to have with them but she still ushered Steve and Bucky into her living room.

“What happened to Y/N between mid 1950 and 1952?” Bucky asked, not bothering to sit down. He feared he already knew the answer.

Becca sighed as she reached into the pocket of her robe and produced another letter. She held it out for Bucky to grab. “You should sit.” Is all she said.

December 24th, 1951

Mr. Barnes

Please help me. He keeps hurting me and I don’t think I’ll survive the next time.

Y/N

The writing was sloppy and in the corner there was a faded brown spot. Through tear filled eyes Bucky looked at it closer.

“Is this blood? Becca, is this her blood?” He looked up at his sister with rage and a pain in his chest nothing would ever be able to get rid of.

Bucky and Steve had sacrificed their life only for them to find out that their girl had been hurt and they weren’t there to protect her. They hated themselves. Steve more than Bucky because Bucky had been drafted, he didn’t have much of a choice but Steve? Steve had done everything he could to get into the army. He left you alone and for what?

“When daddy read that letter he was enraged. Called up some old army buddies and they handled it. But Y/N, she was broken in more ways than one. When they got to the house he had beaten her so badly she could barely move. She was in the hospital throughout the new year. When she was released we brought her home again. Then she never left. Y/N took care of Ma and daddy ‘til the day they died.”

Steve was fully sobbing now. No matter what he would have done, one of the people he loved would end up hurt. If he hadn’t signed up for the experiment with Erskine, you wouldn’t have been hurt like this but Bucky would still be in with hydra.

“You can’t blame yourselves.” Becca sighs. “If she could see you now, see that you’re alive and together, that you saved Bucky from those monsters she would be so happy.”

“She suffered the rest of her life because of us. Was she ever truly happy after this?”

Becca looked away from her brother with a small frown on her face. That was all the confirmation they needed to know that you had never found happiness again. They left without another word to Becca or each other.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Steve and Bucky didn’t speak for a while. Anger rolled off of them in droves. The issue was that neither of them knew who that anger was directed at. Was it at themselves or each other? The war, the draft, the serum, or the son of a bitch who dared put his hands on you.

Their relationship suffered, missions almost failed, they were more reckless than usual and it went on like that for weeks. There was no lecture from anyone on the team that could make them see that what they were doing would get them or their teammates killed.

Steve and Bucky had one moment. A single moment when they realized that they weren’t to blame. They apologized and forgave each other for being cold and distant. It’s not what you would have wanted. Just as they were getting back on track Thanos happened and Steve lost Bucky all over again.

~~~~~~~~~~

5 years later

The team had one chance and they took it. They defeated Thanos. Now Steve has another. He checks himself over again and smoothes out his hair. The day was beautiful just how you said in your letter. Everyone was already celebrating the 4th of July. But as Steve stepped out of the alleyway all he could think about was the conversation he’d he’d with Bucky before he left on his mission to return the stones.

“Don’t do anything stupid until I come back.” Steve said with a smirk.

“How can I? You’re taking all the stupid with you.” Bucky replied as he brought Steve in for a hug.

Steve pulls back slightly only to connect his lips with Bucky’s.

“Make sure you find her and make her happy. Don’t worry about me, I’ll be alright.”

“Don’t worry Buck. Everything will be alright.” Steve smiles before heading up to the platform.

“I love you.”

“I love you too, Bucky.” With that final word Steve disappears.

Now here he was just a block away from the park he’d frequented when you were all together. All of the stones were back in place all he needed to do was find you. And that he did. You were sitting on the bench here and Bucky frequented. All of your attention was on the letter you were writing. Steve could recite it from memory now.

He took a moment to admire your form. You were wearing his favorite dress. The one he bought for your birthday right before he left for the war. Your hair was pinned back the way you loved. Steve smiled, you were more beautiful than he remembered. He finally gathered the courage to step up to you and hoped that this would go well.

“Is this seat taken?”

“Yes it is.” You respond without even looking up.

“Are you sure I can’t have a seat kitten?”

Your head snapped up in the direction of the intruder. His voice had been familiar to you but it couldn’t be who you thought it was. His eyes were so familiar to you but it wasn’t possible because the owner of those beautiful ocean blue eyes had died. Still the sense of familiarity made the ache in your chest lessen and the same of your lover slip from your lips.

“Steve?”

“Hi sweetheart.” He said as he sat down next to you.

With hesitant movement you brought your hand up to his cheek. Steve closed his eyes and leaned into your touch.

“Am I dead?”

The question made Steve chuckle. “You’re not dead, kitten, I’m really here.”

The answer made you start to sob uncontrollably and your tears made Steve tear up. He pulls you into a hug and tries to soothe you as best as he can. After some time you finally pull away and look at him. Steve kisses your forehead, then your cheeks and finally presses a long awaited sweet kiss to your lips.

“How is this possible?” You say in between hiccuped breaths. “You died. You-your friend Howard, he showed up and told me everything.”

Steve takes a deep breath and explains everything from waking up in the future to traveling back in time only leaving out the part about Bucky.

“So are you staying?” You look up at him through your still wet lashes.

“I can’t stay-“

You pulled away from him and stood up. Heartbreak and anger rolled through you.

“Why would you come to see me if you’re leaving again? This is so cruel. Do you know how much I’ve cried for you? Since the moment you left to become a lab rat. It wasn’t fair then and it’s not fair now.”

“Hey,” Steve stands and cups your face. “I would never leave you again. I came to get you, if you’d like to come with me.” He pulls out a watch from his pocket.

“What about the Barnes family? I can’t just leave them too.”

“I think they’d be happier knowing you’re with me and Bucky.”

A small gasp escapes your lips as you look from the watch to Steve who’s smiling.

“Bucky? How is that possible?”

“It’s his story to tell.”

“He’s not dead?”

“Nope. He does think that I left him to stay here with you though. But I think we deserve to be together again. So what do you say?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~

The platform comes to life again a minute after Steve had left. To Bucky’s surprise and slight disappointment Nat appears. He disguises his heartbreak behind a smile as Nat walks down and hugs Sam and then him.

“Glad to have you back.” He whispers into her ear.

“Glad to be back.”

“Come on, I’ll buy you a beer and tell you everything you missed.”

“Buck, aren't you going to wait for Steve to come back?” Sam stopped him.

“Nah, I’m going to grab a drink with a friend. You can come if you want.”

“You’re a jerk, you know that?”

“So I’ve been told. Now let’s go.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bucky got home late. He had been trying to avoid the emptiness. Not only in the home he used to share with Steve but the empty feeling in his chest. It was the punishment he deserved or so Bucky thought. To live the rest of his life alone with only the thought of your and Steve’s happiness. He could make due with that.

Bucky sets his keys in the bowl by the door and takes off his jacket. His thoughts were elsewhere so he didn’t immediately pick up on the fact that he wasn’t alone. Still, he was quick and he pulled the gun he always had on him out.

“You can put the gun down, Buck.” Steve stepped out from the darkened office door. The streetlights filtering through the windows provide the only source of light.

“Steve? What are you doing back?”

“Did you really think I’d leave you alone?”

“But what about Y/N?”

“She agreed with me.” Steve smirks.

“What are you-“ Bucky’s words die on his as you step out from behind Steve. “Y/N.” He said your name as if it was the most precious thing in the world.

Bucky’s steps were slow and heavy, as if the world itself sat on his shoulders. You met him halfway way with arms wide open. Bucky fell at your feet, his arms settling around your hips and his head resting against your stomach.

“Oh honey.” Your body shook as Bucky cried against you. All you could do was run your fingers through his hair. “It’s ok. We’re together again baby.”

You managed to get on the floor with Bucky and cup his face and press multiple kisses over his face.

“I missed you, doll.” Bucky says between kisses. It’s frantic and uncoordinated and desperate.

Steve joins you both on the floor wrapping his arms around each of you. There are more shared kisses amongst the three of you. Someone eventually gets up and pulls the other two along with them. The first night the three of you stay awake just talking and catching up. You tell them things that aren’t in your journals and they tell you about living in the present. Reluctantly Bucky tells you part of what happened with hydra. You can see the guilt in his eyes and all you can do is comfort him.

The sun is barely starting to rise when the three of you finally fall asleep in each other's arms.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

When you did wake up you were disoriented by the room you were in until you remembered where you were. The bed was empty but even back in the past both boys were early risers. You fixed your hair and changed before walking out to find Steve and Bucky. As you neared the living room you heard more than two voices talking animatedly.

“You still haven’t told us what took you so long.” A man said as you got closer.

Steve opens his mouth to answer but his whole face lights up when you turn the corner and stand at the entrance of the living room. The reaction caused Steve’s friends to turn around and look at you.

“I was picking someone up.” Steve says.

“Please tell me you’re Y/N.” The woman had asked and you smiled and nodded.

“Y/N, this is Nat and Sam.”

“I have so many questions. Especially about Bucky.” Sam said as he stood up.

Before he could even stretch his hand out to greet you properly Bucky came up from behind you and wrapped an arm around your waist and glared at Sam. He had flowers in his hand which he presented to you.

“Thank you honey.” You kissed his cheek before turning back to Sam.

“Let me put these in water and I’ll answer all your questions.”

Bucky groans as Sam gives him a shot eating grin. You chuckle and when you come back you move to sit down. Eventually Steve and Bucky sit on either of you as Sam and Nat ask you about what they were like back in the day.

With time this would become a routine until you met everyone on the team, including Howard’s son. They had questions and you had the answers. You were sure to include all kinds of stories, especially the embarrassing ones.

It hadn’t gone unnoticed how much more relaxed and happy Steve and Bucky had been. Bucky smiled more and was more open with others. Steve had handed over his shield to Sam and was starting to enjoy his free time. Bucky was still required to go on missions but it was ok. Whenever he came back from a mission you and Steve doted on Bucky. From having his favorite movie on or playing his favorite songs and dancing in the living room to cleaning him up and cuddling in bed. Life in modern times wasn’t always easy for you but fortunately Bucky and Steve were always there to help you.

You still wrote in your journal and on occasion letters for your loves for them to find. The entries were vastly different from what Steve and Bucky had first read. Your journals remained an ode to the love you had which transcended decades and heartbreaks and loss. Now they reflect your joy, love, hope and happiness. The love you had for each other grew with each passing day and you were able to build the home the three of you always dreamed of.

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jackiequick · 7 months ago

Text

What If Bucky Barnes saved a life that day? | MARVEL Fanfic

Pairing: Jason Grey Underwood & James ‘Bucky’ Barnes

Setting: Flashback to December 16, 1991

Summary: It was a old winter night when a crash happened that would swirl the weekend for a world wind, as both eyes met in the chaos of it all. Becoming a interesting sight of secretive events. An old memory coming back to life?

Characters mentioned: Howard Stark, Maira Stark, Tony Stark, Steve Rogers, Elizabeth Stark, Daniel Sousa and Peggy Carter

Marvel Au fanfic

Warning: Angsty fic with some fluff

———

Gravel crunches under the tires of the Rolls Royce as it trundles up the country road. The Winter Soldier peers through the scope and adjusts his grip, his finger ghosting over the trigger. He's been in position for hours, has watched his targets for over two weeks before this. He knows their routine.

Inside the car sat Howard driving as Maria chatted on the phone with Peggy and Jason trying to figure out a way to nap quietly. Tony was at home he refused to go and stay with his godmother Peggy Carter instead.

This is the first day of a long weekend in the Stark Family country estate. They were meant to meet some people there in the upcoming weeks.

But no one will think to look for them until at least Monday.

The Soldier takes careful aim. If he misses, he will have to eliminate his targets individually. This is much cleaner.

He fires.

With the silencer, the shot is noiseless, but the blown tire is not.

The expensive Rolls Royce had been on the final turn before a wide country driveway. It skids onto the soft shoulder, and flips on its side to slide down a steep ravine. Having the family gasping for air, shielding themselves for comfort and deeply coughing as the car takes a spinal shock.

Screaming and yelling were silence soon enough. Groans can be heard from Jason squeezing his eyes shut as a trickle of blood ran down his forehead and a few shards of glass scarred around him, his pain increased. He felt dizzy, nasty feeling twirling in his stomach and his airways feeling like they shut down for a moment.

Snapping in and out of consciousness at whimpering and soft yelling he recognized. However you could’ve sworn he was dead by his chest not puffing.

Carefully, the Soldier packs away his rifle and makes his way down the slope, dragging piles of dry brush behind him. No one will see the wreckage from the roadway.

The Soldier sees that the woman has been ejected from her seat. Maria Stark. She is dead. He mentally crosses her off his list.

Ripping away the car door from its hinges, he peers inside. Howard Stark trickle of blood coming from the corner of his mouth waking up in soft mumbling, alerting the others in the car.

Howard Stark opens his eyes, glances over an somewhat conscious Jason as he looks at the Soldier. There is no anger or fear in his gaze -- but something else. Something that gives the Soldier pause. This is not an expression he has seen from his targets before.

Jason’s eyes flickering open falling onto the Howard, before looking at The Solider in pain, trying to search for his gun under his seat.

He locked eyes with the Solider seeing right into his soul. His steel blue eyes deep in an unknown word he can’t trace. The pain behind the lifeless face he gave, pausing at their actions. He doesn’t pull his gun on him, one bit. It was unspoken line between both parties.

"Bucky," Howard muttered. His hands fumbling weakly at his seatbelt, but his gaze is unfocused and vague. Dying, Jason knows it. But he hears his friend say, "Don’t hurt my son if he’s next…”

The word rattles around in the Soldier's head for a few moments without purchase. Jason waits for him to make a move, trying to figure out what happened that his last breath hasn’t come. But nothing.

Howard however takes a battling breath, then his shoulders lower. He dies with his eyes half open.

His attention snaps back at his words, knowing he meant every word as Jason weakly kicked open the door. The Solider finished the job for him tugging him out of the car, scooping up the blondes hand in his. Both men locked eyes once again, confused about the quick actions.

He could snap his neck, pull a gun on him or something.

In the Soldier's pocket is a lighter -- the authorities will assume the fire sparked from the car crash and caught dry brush. The flames will cleanse all evidence he was here.

Bucky... don’t hurt my son if he’s next..

Finish the assignment, the Soldier thinks. However a part of himself couldn’t murder the blonde. He didn’t have it in him to do it. None of them would know. He wondered why the man didn’t say a word to him yet, just staring at him a glint of trouble in his eyes as he felt his hand.

Jason just he recognizes those blue eyes, allowing the man to grab his bicep now as the other was occupied by a handheld gun trying to comprehend why he wasn’t dead yet. Then it hit him, his target included him in the flesh with the dog tags around his neck or at least his wristwatch, for extra evidence of his job being completed.

His eyes wet as all he could do was follow the instructions the Solider—Bucky—gave him. Then he turns and walks into the forest with him. The Solider’s work is not complete. He will be expected to end him.

It's only then he realizes he doesn't want to. His memories felt like they were split in two when they reached a hotel. Jason told him before entering that they will need to straighten up they’re hair and clothes, coming up with a cover story to tell the recipients. Bucky refused to comment on the request but eventually gave in.

An odd couple who needed to stay the night and thankfully she brought it.

Once entering the hotel room, Bucky finally let go of his bicep not realizing he might’ve left a bruised on the blonde. The room was somewhat cozy with beds, the lights were deemed reasonable, tiny kitchen, table with chairs and a bathroom. His eyes flicker titled his heads getting a better look at the man who sat down in one of the chairs.

It rattled Bucky’s brain at the moment seeing him again in full lighting, having not seen him in the longest time. He hasn’t aged a day! It pained him as he watched his movements, trying to remember the night they met. It came in patches across the entire trip here. The memories.

That night and the morning afterwards. It stunning. His smile and glimpse of joy in his eyes.

Everyone dressed in their finest whites and browns laughing teasing one another across the room. But Bucky’s eyes stayed that weekend on the blonde man chuckling with his buddies sharing a beer. With Howard Stark.

His pals were having fun. So, all he wanted was some alone time with the man, ready to enjoy himself and he did.

His voice brought him back to the present day.

“You can take a seat, you know? Get comfortable. I’m not your handler or anything. You took me as your hostage tonight. And for what, Bucky?” He said, his tone was calming but slightly bruised feelings. Tired and hurt.

“Okay..” Bucky replies softly taking a seat, unzipping his suit a bit to allow himself to breathe, “…my mission seems to not be complete. I was expecting to end everyone in that car.”

“So why didn’t you? For the last half hour I have been trying to comprehend why you did pull the gun on me? We were in the forest, you could’ve done it..”

“Because I couldn’t. The look in both of your eyes…I didn’t’ want to. Why didn’t you defend yourself, hmm? The whole time you were silent.”

“I couldn’t defend myself assuming your actions, so I waited for you to make your decision. Now your keeping me safe, why?”

“I don’t know..”

“Yes you do. You don’t remember right? But when my—Howard said your name…you paused. I saw a look in your eyes, you regret it. You heard what he said about his son and you paused. Then looked at me.”

They locked eyes again. Jason hitched a breath, his eyes scanning every feature his face. The look of confused as if he wanted to admit something but couldn’t due to his orders. But he didn’t need to know why he murdered, the only other man to look at with such kindness and the women who took him into her heart with so much love.

The dead know everything. He would just have to accept that one day, but that didn’t mean he decided to not get a swing at Bucky for his actions. He just needed some satisfaction, some answer. By the second swing to the face, his body crumbled in pain from accident. The brunette guided him back to his seat holding his wrist.

He glared feeling weak as he looked up at Bucky again. Some urgency in his face to tell him. Both men knew it. It was silent. It was only then Bucky’s mouth opened and shut, hesitate to say it even though both men knew it all too well. He remembers all of it.

~~~~~

Hours came and went. Jason went on to take a shower after Bucky did. It was a kind offer. It was his only time to actually think.

He was flabbergasted at the sight standing underneath the water that fit his face. In that room held the face of the man he didn’t expect to see. He remember it all too well.

That weekend after that mission, he just met Howard thinking he would never see that man ever again in his life. But he was very wrong! Jason had tears in his eyes missing him so badly, the smell of his cologne still in his nose.

He remembered Howard and him being brought up to a bar. The 107th and 106th gang was there. He was talking with his buddies, along with Howard who was more interested in the bartender. She was hot.

But his eyes fell onto the one of prettiest brunette around. Sergeant Barnes.

Hell he would’ve dated him.

Honestly Jason always had a thing for brunettes since he had Howard and Violet but he loved Angie more than his life itself. As well as his darling Maria, he loved her so much.

Damn the respect people, including himself had for that man.

He remembered both men chatting afterwards enjoying each other’s company. Laughing and teasing one another every once in a while. He looked at him with such kindness and respect. It felt good.

Then he remembered the words that kickstarted the rest of the night and morning after.

Hey, Barnes stole a jeep! Yelled Howard so loudly half of bar heard it.

Next thing he remembered was all three of them riding across the streets, dropping the genius off once he saw the bartender from earlier clocked out, leading him and Barnes alone. The two rode off into the night, passing through street lights and stores glancing over at each other every so often. It felt like a breath of fresh air, laughing the whole time.

They talked about life after the way, family they were waiting for them, and hopefully new opportunities to take upon once it all over. Seeing each other again and heading to vacation for a while. He asked Bucky if he had a lady waiting for him at home and his response was a simple no. Jason remembered his eyes perk up hearing that teasing him on any lady would love to have him.

He remembered the jeep coming to a stop near a park bench on a high hill. Nobody around, just pure sliver dollar silence as the cloudy skies cleared up to reveal the moon and stars. The smell of the flowers and air as he followed the brunette up the hill, sliding over to seat next to him at the benchmark and nice autumn breeze that blew past them.

The way Bucky teased him asking if he had a chance with a girl. His reply was a honest, ‘No, i don’t know if i will settle anytime soon.’

‘Why not?’ Was his response with a smile.

‘I feel like I forgot what normal is meant to be.’

‘I get that. I feel like I didn’t really know how to live before.’

‘Hmm. Maybe, we shouldn’t settle for normal.’

The next morning. It was a sight to see. The sun was coming up, the orange light turned the field into liquid gold shining down on both men. Bucky’s head rested on his shoulder as his hand placed on his shoulder snoring softy. His own head nuzzled against the brunette humming in his sleep, waking up as the sun hit his eyes.

Jason smiled at the memories.

Since it was weekend full with sightseeing, training with his pal and meeting new ones. Sneaking off with Bucky and Howard to the stores then heading off to the restaurants for a quick bite. It was a delightful surprise how comfortable he felt about Barnes, the sweet warm in his eyes and the charming smile that he portrayed everywhere they went.

———

But now in that very room sat the brunette with longer hair, deep blue eyes and a body language that said an unknown things. He barley cracked smiled however he remembered it all. The memories that were made and he actions he took.

To anyone who knew Bucky Barnes, would say he was a bit of a distant distraction from the normal life. He dated plenty of men and women in his time. Always had a thing for people with a respectable background. Something he would come to apparently appreciate in the future.

His mind flew back to that weekend with Underwood. The laughter they shared, the drinks, the running from the bar onto the jeep that night and the hopes to see one another again.

Bucky even gave the man his number and a cheeky wink before he took off to return fight the war.

But he didn’t get the chance to call him. Or even received a phone call since he fell off that train…

The last thing he remembered before waking up to that laboratory full of scientists was dreaming about that weekend. That smile and laughter that escaped Jason’s lips. The grin he gave everyone and the wink he returned to the night.

God! If he wasn’t in this situation, he would run over to the blonde and tell him everything he knew.

But he couldn’t. He shouldn’t. He spared his heart by letting him live.

Bucky Barnes cared way too much to murder the man who gave him, a lifetime of memories.

He felt stupid.

But he shouldn’t. He deserved to smile. To see the man he cared for again.

“Bucky..?” Asked the blonde, coming out of the shower with wet hair and a white t-shirt giving him, a gentle smile.

“Hmm.” He responded, sucking a breath flickering his eyesight towards him.

“What’s going on that pretty little head of yours? You can tell me..”

“I um..you won’t like what you hear…i can’t..sorry.”

“I can tell enough. Your working for the other side against your will..you’ve been manipulated by them. I don’t know why you killed my..doesn’t matter.”

“…did you love ‘em?”

“Yeah..with all my heart..”

“I’m sorry..I’m so sorry.”

Bucky stood up, he wanted to run. He tried to escape the room, his hand was on doorknob as his voice hitched. He was tired. Annoyed. Sad. Hurt. He looked over his shoulder to look back at the blonde.

The kindness in his eyes. He paused, letting go on the handle as he turned around to face the man. His head dropped in sorrow, facing the floor as he felt light fingertips crawl up his chin, lifting his head to meet the green eyes. Bucky wouldn’t admit it but he missed the starving touch of someone’s warmth against his cold face.

That comforting gaze that would soften his cheeks.

His blue eyes met the green eyes once again. He wanted to let his shoulders fall but he feared it would show weakness. He wanted to let out a sob, but he feared he would let his guard down. But he wasn’t with anyone who would hurt him.

He hoped that Jason wouldn’t try to hurt him, yeah sure he killed his friend however, he could see something else in his face. Sorrow and compassion. Comfort. He was in a vulnerable position.

They both were.

Jason didn’t think he would admit the words that slipped his lips but they did.

“I’m not gonna hurt..i can’t blame you for what you did. It wasn’t your fault. You hear me Bucky? It wasn’t your fault...i just missed your voice..i wish i gotten your call..” The blonde admitted with a soft gaze.

He needed to hear those words.

The brunette shoulders finally fell as his guard fell down, tears slowly shaking down his cheeks. He wouldn’t expect forgiveness for what he did, but he gotten caught up in a tingled mess. Bucky’s head fell onto Jason’s shoulder as the blonde run a hand across his back, whispering softly to his ear that he wasn’t his fault.

Never was his fault. It was a guilt they would be have to carryover until the end of time.

He’s not the villain here, he’s the victim of a crime scene. He didn’t want to do it, but he knew the whole mission had to be done.

And now, here he stood in the arms of the man who showed him some kind of love. Compassion. Reassuring words. Kindness towards him after all the mistakes he did.

He wasn’t in stupid Russia. He was in the arms of someone who treated him like a human. Not a weapon to be experienced with.

“I missed you so many times…” Jason told him, his feelings were hurt but his heart was beating quickly for the brunette in front of him.

Feeling that reached up to the surface again after years of forgetting that heartbreak. It was a weakness inside him, when he looked at someone like Bucky Barnes.

Love? Was it some kind of love? Lust?

Possibly. It was a single weekend they both shared but it felt good. Freeing from the issues the world has been facing. A war.

Bucky eyes were pooled as a sob reckoned his body, he crumbled into Jason’s arms. He remembers the warmth and kindness theses are showed him that late night.

All he wanted now, was to faced him and beg for the blonde to help him with the hidden wound he tried to patch up eariler but failed to do so. However he knew he didn’t need to beg for help, he was already getting it. He was allowed to let his guard down for once in a long time.

It felt good, real good.

“J..JJ..I’m sorry.. I’m so sorry for what I did.” Bucky admitted with a chocked sob, “I didn’t expect to see you again after all theses years..and I have to return back soon…but I don’t want to..”

“I know you don’t…I know you have to return but when you do, I want to know that you survived so long and I’m proud of you. You did the hard part and one day you will get a better break..” Jason told him, trying to find the words to express how he felt.

“When..?”

“I don’t know when or how you will get a chance to breathe again but you will Bucky, all I could hope is for you to be happy one day...and for now, I’m going to give you one.”

“Huh? JJ I can’t let you do that..I’m already in so much trouble soon..”

“Let me fix your wound..like I used to?”

“I’ll like that…uh, are you okay?”

“I will be..”

Jason gently guided Bucky to the edge of the bed, waiting for him remove his jacket so he saw the badly cleaned wound. He found a first aid kit and started to clean it correctly, with such ease and gentleness asking if it stings every so often. Bucky started to smile down at the blonde who cleaned his wounds. He noticed the cuts and bruises on his face and arms.

Bucky winced as he softly muttered, “Sorry…”

“Don’t be..I’ve been though worse.” Jason said with a soft smile.

“You got better at this..”

“Yeah well, with the plenty of injuries I kinda had to..”

“You’ve been injured before?”

“Fights and missions in my own line of business..”

“How are you still alive?”

“Same as you, my body is frozen in time. But that’s a story for another time…”

“…are you uh, married? Kids?”

“Oh? Um, no. I couldn’t find anyone who could deal with my burdens. I mean I loved and lost before but i wouldn’t want anyone to suffer a lie that isn’t theirs..”

“Do i wanna ask?”

“I think it’s best not to. I mean, I’m not asking for anything about your line of work or lifestyle. We don’t need to talk about it.”

“Where are you going after this?”

“I uh, don’t know yet..I need to keep the wounds on and build another cover story. But I’ll figure it out later..”

“And now?”

This time, Jason looked up with a soft smile once he finished cleaning and patching him up correctly, as he shrugged. His green eyes burden so much hurt, love and confusion that carried so much depth behind that. Bucky would’ve loved to take that away, anyone would have given him a chance to breath during this time.

He doesn’t know what he did to describe or even deserve this one thing from him.

But sure as hell he was grateful for it.

“Do you ever…wonder what life would’ve been like if none of this ever…uh..um, happened?” Bucky asked, sounding kinda stupid the way his words slurred, “.. I would’ve loved to hang out with our buddies a lot more and date around..”

“Well I would’ve been married, with a kid or two..we would’ve lived closed by to your house..” Jason said with a small smile taking a few pauses as he thought, “…maybe you and me would sneak off for a night at the bar..”

“…I would’ve married Dot..god I loved her..and you would’ve gotten Angie..that was her name, right? I remember her eyeing you a lot..”

“Yeah, Angie Martinelli..I loved her way before I knew she would’ve been friends with Peggy Carter..but times change.”

“You haven’t..”

“You can say that…”

“What about us? If I wasn’t Hydra…where d-did you work after the war?”

“Uh, the SSR..now it’s SHIELD..you would’ve loved it. Hell, I think you would’ve loved Elizabeth.”

A smile crept up Bucky’s lips at the reminder of Elizabeth Stark’s name.

She was smart, sweet as candy, gorgeous, a wildcard and a total badass in his eyes. He got flashes of her face and the moment they met after he was rescued by the others. She was one of the most beautiful and kindness ladies he ever met, greeting each other with so much respect.

She teased him about a dates and he gave her his number. As they were spending night just chatting on the phone at hotels and campsites available for calls. He remembered promising another date before the war ended.

But never did live up to that promise. He hoped she was alright.

Jason noticed the look on his face and gave him a gentle smile, “Hey..it’s alright. We all miss her.. and i know you did the best you could do with the time we had in the war..”

“I know..I know..sometimes I wish I didn’t fall into the woods and that I held onto that railing…but it wasn’t my intention for any of it..it never was. I had a clear goal that day and it got turned into something else…I’m sorry for everything..” Bucky admitted looking down for a moment.

“It wasn’t your fault, okay? None of us could’ve predicted any of this to happen to our lives..but we are surviving and that’s all we can do..”

“I can only imagine what you’ve seen and been though over all theses years..”

“Don’t worry about me..I can handle it…or so I hope I can….what else do you remember?”

“A lot of it..sometimes it comes in flashes..”

“Such as?”

“…this blonde haired man..tall..blue eyes..”

“Ohh..”

“There was a old knock off comic book, I saw it a few days ago…Captain America, I think it is was?”

“Yeah, a lot of countries and states still sell them…and? You remember anything..?”

“I um..I know him, I think i do? I know I do…who is he?..Rogers…”

“...he was your best friend, Bucky…Steve Rogers.”

The name rattled in Bucky’s brain for a few short minutes as he stayed silent. Searching his eyes waiting for a sign as he stayed biting his bottom lip, sniffling trying to remember.

He remembers it. The face, the name, and the sound of his voice.

His best friend til the end of the line…

Jason took out his wallet, rummaging though the brown leather until he pulled out a small picture. A tiny one of the night at the bar that a photographer grabbed. He handed it to Bucky, as his fingers crossed the old photograph as his eyesight got blurry. Fresh tears came rolling in.

“Steve.” The brunette muttered, as the flashes of memories came back better than ever, like someone clicked the undo button.

“You have this?” Bucky asked mumbling about the picture in his hand.

Jason nods, “I like to keep old photographs in my wallet..that one was supposed to be for Peggy, uh Carter, to keep..she wanted it framed.”

“He looks..i look..oh god Steve..how could i—? How could I forget his face of all people?”

“It’s not your fault. HYDRA..they did it. They don’t want you to remember of this, because they know something might happen..”

“…did they ever take you..?”

“They tried. Once. In the 40s, a lot of Russian men and women. They kidnapped me during a mission..they almost wiped my mind..i mean, they kinda did..”

“..you don’t remember a lot either?”

“Some memories came and went..just like you, the situation it feels a little fuzzy. But I’m okay. We’re both okay…do you remember anything about Steve?”

“I remember a lot..before and after the war when i fell, I remember the memories of him..”

Bucky had a look in his eyes as if he’s reliving a memory. He let out a light chuckle and sniffled, “..he’s a little punk. I told him to not do anything stupid…”

Jason just watched Bucky in that moment. He didn’t say a word. Just listen to him as he mumbled and muttered softly with a light smile at his memories. A look in his eyes seemed to return as he watch him.

Some lightning of gentle glee in the brunette’s eyes as he talked, running his fingers crossed his long brown hair and catching the other man’s eyes every now and then.

“..do you remember your full name..?” The blonde asked softly, after being silent for so long leaning against the bed.

“Mhmm…more or less..i don’t like it..” The brunette admitted, matching his soft tone.

“..James Barnes..I always liked Bucky better..”

“..i think i was a good friend, right? I was good enough that it became my nickname..?”

“Well, I remember you did say that Steve gave you that nickname when you were kids..so i think you were a great friend..”

“..and was i good to you?..am i good to you?”

“What do you think?”

“..i think i was good to you?..i hurt you though..i hurt a lot of people’s feelings..i know it..”

“It wasn’t you. I can’t blame you, for hurting me or those people..”

“..why are you so good..to me? The world has been cruel to me..”

The blonde gave him a small smile, tugging some hair out of his face for a second and let out of a breath before standing up. Jason knew why he was good to Bucky Barnes. The world is a cruel place fulled with cruel people and niceness isn’t something everyone gets. He should know.

In his eyes, the brunette deserves some kindness and attention after everything.

“The world is cruel and hard and if it sees any bit of light..it will crushes it. And you deserve a chance to feel cared for, not be seen as a weapon. Or an experiment..” Jason said with a soft gaze.

His words meant more than he lead on.

“It sounds like your talking from experience..” Bucky replies, fumbling with his sleeves.

“I sorta am. And how i seen it, your more than what they made you to be.”

“You know…your the only thing that makes sense right now to me..thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

———

The rest of the night went as follows. The silence of fallen snow along with the sound of plates clanging together then dropped into the small sink. They were able to get food and water from the hotel, and able to find some form of entertainment on TV.

Hell, they found some extra clothing left in a closet to borrow for some time.

Both of them stayed in comfortable silence, giving all smiles and having conversations.

It was late. Very late into the night when tiredness started to take fold. It was mostly Jason who was tired, trying to nurse a tiny headache meanwhile Bucky was just resting his head on a pillow.

“You should rest..” Bucky said softly, resting his head against his curled in arms.

“You first.” Jason replied with a soft tease in his voice, looking over his shoulder.

“Hilarious..at least take a nap.”

“I’m fine..”

“What’s wrong?”

“Should i be the one to ask you that?”

“Jason. What’s going on?”

“..how can i rest knowing what i know now..? I’m not mad about anything, just sad and tired..surprised.”

“Why?”

“It’s Christmas time, Bucky. I lost a lot my friend beforehand..my nephew hates his father..and some others are god knows where..”

“..i’m sorry. It’s my fault your gone..they’re gone.”

“No it’s not..our Christmas was already a messy one, before you showed up..no one really cares about the holiday too much anymore.”

“So i sorta saved your Christmas?”

“I guess you did.”

Both men let out a small chuckle at the last comment. It was the holiday season and here they are in the mist of it all, hiding out til morning or early afternoon. It wasn’t so bad, per say since they weren’t alone in the slightest bit but they would’ve liked it to be in better circumstances. Jason knew he wasn’t gonna enjoy this holiday season as much as he used to, and seeing Bucky was a surprise to say the least.

But a serious secret he would have to keep, like other things he kept secret from the world.

He knew he would have to return back home soon, change his whole identity once again and transfer any information onto new documents, like he did every December reach the end of a decade.

Bucky watched him, move across the room to reach forward and grab a few dusty books from the small group of shelves. It confused Bucky onto what he was he doing, seeing the man pick up a napkin and a pencil. He watched him scramble and scribble onto the napkin, crossing things down as he went. He justified his own actions against the questions he had, leaning over to get a closer look at the actions Jason silently took.

It made him wonder how much times he did this in pure silence as the TV played as background noise. His bets were 15 times a day, once every couple of months? He saw titles of different types being scripted on the napkin, but it wasn’t clear to him because of subtle it was written, where it look like a small riddle or rhyme in a children’s book.

He watched Jason pick up on the paused that he made, looking over at the TV Christmas movie that was set up on the screen.

“What aren’t you telling me?” Bucky muttered, turning the volume of the movie up to an 8.

“Hm?” Jason answered, resting book against the bedside table.

“The napkin. The books. You look like a mad man.”

“Hilarious, Barnes. I’m just tinkering with something, a new theme..”

“N-new theme?”

“Uh, new alias, I guess..”

“Walk me through this, for I can understand what you mean..because I think I get it.”

“You were sent to murder Mr and Mrs. Stark, not knowing they would have an extra passenger seated in the back, right?”

“HYDRA assumed that Stark would have a party or something following him to his drive but they didn’t confirm that being the case. They want anyone who was in the car, as witnesses or something to be dead..you were there.”

“Exactly. I was there, they didn’t even bother to confirm if Stark would have another passenger there like his son or his best friends. But they want evidence of the murder, you shot the sirens and cameras right?”

Bucky gave him a look as if he was stupid or something, of course he shot the cameras. Jason cleared his throat after that look he received, getting his answer. That was also when Bucky realized what he means and where he’s getting at. A new cover story, an alias and everything after tonight. It made him wonder how many times has he done this routine before.

Bucky sighed, “I see what you’re doing. I get it, I do and you won’t tell me anything about the alias to keep you safe..for HYDRA doesn’t ask me question, they might as well wipe my mind after this mission is over..”

“Hm, yeah. I’ve done this before and I’ll do it a million times over.” Jason repiled, handing the brunette an old school pin from his jacket marked with dried up blood and sighed, “This is mine.”

“What the hell is this?”

“Old school SSR pin, every single agent had one. Howard had copy in his jacket pocket that you didn’t take, they won’t know the difference between the signs of the pin, that’s your evidence.”

“Ja-I can’t take it. It’s yours..it’s evidence but still..”

“They might want evidence, Bucky. I won’t need it, not where I’m going. I have everything else at home..I’m glad Howard died with his pin in his pocket, it meant he created everything he could for the organization’s future and I would have to return back to SHIELD without mine..”

“You’re an idiot. They will know you don’t have yours, won’t they?”

He shook his head this time, he had that one covered. With all the years he lived, he made sure he had a copy of everything he could possibly own and could be used for travel tucked away in a small area at his house. Certain items stayed within that box and others were thrown away, to not stir any controversy over him. Jason wasn’t that stupid.

It made Bucky wonder however, if he didn’t murder Jason Underwood allegedly since it seemed like that name died for the public a long time ago, then what alias did he take down within that flamed car earlier? It was better he didn’t know that particular name until later, when asked. He just nodded instead with a soft sigh.

The rest of the night was spend a rather sleepless one, due to Bucky wondering and reloading his equipment, packing up everything needed to return back to work soon. Meanwhile Jason stayed sat on the bed, trying to rematch up his own wounds and rewrite in his mind the way to get back home without any deep questions. His cover was the easiest part, he was badly hurt which was truth and wasn’t thinking straight due to having an unlimited amount of time.

His mind ran across to only responsive person he knew who would grab him what was needed was Daniel Sousa, no questions asked, without Peggy on his back door for too long pondering what happened.

Bucky was half asleep, his head rested on the pillow with a soft smile watching the blonde chuckling softly to himself. Jason was resting in his bed with his hands behind his head, staring at the ceiling humming a soft tune as his eyes glanced over at the brunette who was staring right at him. His piercing blue eyes connected with his green ones in a shimmer of the bedroom lights. If it wasn’t for the night he wouldn’t have blushed more easily as he should have.

“What? Can’t find the confidence to look me in the eyes, Underwood?” Bucky said with a grin, chuckling as he let out a sigh he didn’t realize he was holding. He might as well be flirting.

“Watch it, Barnes. Last person who looked at me that way, i ended up on a hill in France.” Jason added shaking his head, returning the effortlessly warm grin.

“Ohh who was the lucky one?”

“You know who. For someone who just finished a murder mission, you’re awfully flirty with me.”

“I didn’t want to do it..you know that. It’s just seeing you all relax..makes me forget about everything, you know?”

“I know..despite that whole look of yours, I’m actually digging the number you’re wearing..it’s stupid..I’m delusional.”

“If you’re delusional then I’m sure as gone.”

The two of them softly chuckled.

Jason softly smiled, “Hey.”

“Hm?” Bucky replied staring back at him again.

“You look..good.”

“I uh..I feel good.”

They shift in their respective positions, rolling over in bed to face the other person in a more comfortable manner. Despite all the stress and frustration that they feel about tonight, the moment they looked at each other’s faces, it all melted away.

Hydra, being on the run, Shield, keeping lies to themselves and begging for the truth not to come back to haunt them—all of that? It drifted over to the back of their minds like it was nothing.

Funny, how seeing someone who you missed so much time with can do to a person.

As if, it was written in stone by the gods above to somehow be interwoven in each other’s life one way or another. Jason and Bucky shouldn’t be allowed to share such a secretive moment together, tucked away in some hotel room after such a harsh encounter, yet here they are. Both cold and alone in the mist of the night, despite the central heating system wrapping around the ground, it seems like it would barely survive the hours up ahead.

“I missed you..” Jason admitted, as his voice lowered to a whisper but the brunette heard it.

Bucky was taken back by his words as he melted a little and returned to confession, “…so did I. I uh, I missed you a lot..”

“It was some silly night but I remember it, you know?”

“You remember the rest of the week? We sneaked off to every other store to find the best souvenir but ended up at a ice cream parlor instead.”

“Didn’t we share an ice cream together?”

“Cause they only had a couple scoops of Rocky Road left! You do remember.”

Bucky roared a laugh as Jason grinned.

The Winter Soldier wasn’t in his eyes, nor was the Agent at SHIELD in his own.

Just two old men, Jason Grey and James Buchanan.

There was a lot bending on their hands with the horrific incident that occurred in front of their eyes, yet neither side had the slightest intention to bring it up again for a long time. Yes, Jason could’ve shot him while stuck in this hotel and Bucky could’ve done the same at any point, but they didn’t dare to do so.

Jason knew if he did, HYDRA would’ve been after him in a matter of weeks and it would take longer for him to recover and return home to his life in California. Bucky knew if he killed him, it would’ve been another kill in his books that would haunt him forever and he made a silent promise to Howard Stark to not go after his son, in response he needed the blonde to return home alive.

Aside from the obvious mess brewing upon them and lack of self respect, if it was up to Jason and Bucky, the two would run away together. Be hidden away from the world until everything died down and they could start somewhere else, have a better chance to escape the chaos and breathe.

Yet, it wasn’t in the cards for either of them.

Instead both men ate whatever snacks found in the refrigerator and vending machines in the halls, watching the crappy old movies on television as they stayed chatting until dawn…

…the morning sunlight peaked through the shades of the hotel that very first alarm to strike upon the room, cracking open the notion that this wasn’t a dream, everything that happened last night was just fact.

The second clue to this alarming trend was that the other bed was emptied out, paneling over the bed closes to the door as glimpses of the blonde and brunette snoring calmly. Fully clothed, wearing some fabric they found in one of the closets comfortable enough to rest in. Bucky’s hand lay across Jason’s chest as the blonde hummed in his sleep with his fact turned toward the brunette’s direction.

Both curled underneath the blanket for warmth, breathing deeply into the air surrounding the room. The pillows were soft, the mattress kept itself polished and comfortable, as blankets were stacked one over the other beneath the pair.

The third striking feature of the set was the moment Bucky slowly turned to his left, letting out a soft groan as he fluttered his eyes open. He squeezed his eyes for a second to breathe in the silence and light that filled his senses, meeting the sleeping gaze of the blonde man.

He only felt a slight smile reaching his lips, as the memory of last night slowly wired in his brain, where the two were watching on a movie then nodding off on his bed unexpectedly, the temperature dropped as it resulted in finding a couple more blankets to keep warm. A part of him should shiver and regret this folding turn of events that took place.

But he couldn’t shake off the pressure of leaving him in the hotel alone after all of this is over. If it was up to him, he wouldn’t think twice and find a way to escape this situation, bringing the other with him for just a little while. Despite the high urge to do something about it, he couldn’t get himself to disappear from the bed and leave the key behind.

Instead he stayed, watching every tall tale feature the blonde had to offer his memories.

“..mornin’..” Mumbled Jason softly and ever so gently as his eyes stayed closed.

It almost startles Bucky at the sudden voice reaching his ears but nonetheless he smiles, “..m-morning.”

There was a peaceful silence that drafted between them.

“How did you sleep?” Asked the blonde, slowly opening his eyes turning to get a glimpse of the brunette.

And by god, James Barnes wasn’t allowed to look this well at the crack of dawn. His long dark locks curled around the edges of the pillow, his blue eyes shining in the sunlight and the cool metallic hand rested on his chest just as comfortably.

After a long second, Bucky responded, “I uh, I slept well actually..”

“I bet.” Jason joked, bringing a light smile to his face.

That caused a crash of light chuckle to fill the air.

The morning went pretty well. The two stayed in bed staring at the ceiling and stealing glances half of the time, enjoying the light banter. Eventually Bucky crawled out of bed and got himself in the shower, then soon went Jason’s turn to freshen up.

After a long period of time of declining interest in food, Jason’s stomach growls as he grabbed himself a sandwich from the hotel bar and a couple of drinks from the vending machine. He may or may not have taken a couple of bucks out of the brunette’s wallet that morning.

But he repaid him with a sandwich and a bottle of water, despite Bucky’s light glares he couldn’t be bothered to give a remark as hunger strikes. He just ate calmly and hummed a small smile to the man.

Sadly enough, the time they had spent together came to a close. Items were packed, stitches were wrapped and clothing was tucked away for any cleaning lady to come in later. Jason sat on the bed buckling his bootstraps and cuffing his socks into place, as his gaze turned to the man who was fumbling with his jacket once more. Bucky nodded, getting the last clasp secured on his jacket and swung his bag over his shoulder.

The two had a seamless idea to leave the hotel one after the other, in order to not stir up any wondering eyes or glimpses of controversy in the air. Yes, the thought was more than simple for anyone to follow along if they were looking too closely but neither was willing to take that chance.

Barnes was first to leave.

Neither said a word, just kept their gaze afar from another.

As Bucky stood by the door, his hand hovering over the doorknob, a sudden wave of emotion washed over him once his gaze fell on Jason for the 5th time this morning. He couldn't bear the thought of leaving without expressing the depth of his feelings and gratitude towards the man.

He didn't know if he would retreat or regret this later on, however at the moment, he didn't care to dwell on those thoughts.

With a swift and decisive movement, Bucky turned around, closing the distance between them in an instant. A finger hung under the blonde's chin, staring into each other's eyes. Without a second later, his lips met Jason's with a gentle and tender touch, a silent testament to the unspoken words that lingered between them.

For a brief moment, time seemed to stand still as they shared the intimate embrace, the weight of their emotions hanging heavy in the air.

Jason's initial surprise quickly melted into a reciprocal response, his body instinctively leaning in to meet Bucky's kiss. Their lips moved together in a dance of longing and affection, each moment filled with a sense of warmth and belonging that neither wanted to let go of.

When they finally parted, there was a softness in their smiles, an understanding that transcended words. It was a silent agreement, a shared moment of mutual affection and longing that bound them together in ways they couldn't fully comprehend.

A couple of milliseconds past, standing there in pure silence.

Bucky once turned to leave, a smile graced his lips, his heart filled with a newfound sense of peace and contentment. The door closed behind as he turned towards the steps leading himself to the first floor of the hotel.

Jason watched him go, still slightly breathless from the unexpected kiss, a part of him couldn't help but chuckle softly to himself, shaking his head in disbelief at the whirlwind of emotions that had swept over them both.

And as they went their separate ways, the memory of that fleeting moment lingered in the air, a reminder of the small yet somehow profound connection they shared...

Ahhh! Couldn't resist writing for this unexacting pairing, this has been in my drafts for a year now and decided to finally post it. Anyways let me know what you think. Remember to like, comment and share

Tags: @gaminggirlsstuff @gcthvile @missstrawbs2001 @cherrysft @rickb-chaos @starkleila @infinetlyforgotten @meiramel @sherloquestea @buckysteveloki-me @yetanotherwells @nakiaswg @carellmcu @ximehs @xgoddessoffandomsx

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urdepressedslut · 2 years ago

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I wanna be yours

♡ Pairing: 40’s!Bucky Barnes x Fem!Reader, 40’s!Pre-serum Steve Rogers x Fem!Reader

♡ Summary: You were childhood friends with Steve and Bucky. You had always had a small crush on Bucky. But now as your older, you realize that harboring a crush on Bucky is hard. Especially watching him flirt with girls that aren’t you.

♡ Warnings: very cheesy, angst, fluff, mentions of alcoholism, mentions of parent death

Smoothing down her dress, she took a last look at herself in the mirror. She was excited to finally go out with her boys, things had been rough at home with her dad, resulting in her seeing Steve and Bucky less.

Switching off her room light, she was flying down the stairs, catching herself from falling by the last step.

“Quit running down the stairs, ya gonna crack ya head open one of these days.” Her father announced from the couch.

“Sorry daddy, just excited.” She giggled, fidgeting with the end of her dress.

Standing up, he set down the whiskey bottle, walking over to her.

“Where ya going?” He asked her, receiving an eye roll.

“Dad, I told you this morning.. I’m going to the Stark Expo thing.”

“Oh yeah..” He muttered, scratching the back of his neck for forgetting. “When ya gonna be home?”

“I don’t know, I haven’t seen them in awhile— I wanna spend some time with them.” She said solemnly, not wanting her father to feel guilty for being the reason why.

“By them, you mean Steve and James?” He asked with a raised brow, not particularly fond of his daughter hanging with those boys.

“Steve and Bucky.. yeah.” She corrected him, slipping on her boots.

“I don’t like em.” He mumbled, uninterested and heading back to his spot on the couch.

“You never did.” She huffed, walking towards his sitting form.

Her body sagged at the sight of him nursing yet another bottle, grimacing she straightened her posture and slapped on a fake smile.

“I gotta go, love you daddy. I won’t stay out too late.” She promised him, giving him a quick peck on the cheek.

“Yeah.” He breathed out, letting his gaze focus on the wall in front of him.

She knew her mother passing would be extremely difficult for him, they had loved each other wholeheartedly, truly made for one another. He had gone downhill mentally, killing himself slowly with the aid of alcohol. Nights on end she’d find him passed out, bottle never scattered too far away from his limp grasp. And it was always the same, he’d feed her empty promises that it would never happen again.

She would never disregard his feelings, but she had lost her mom too. She never had time to fully process her mothers passing, having to babysit her almost always drunk father. All she knew, was that she shouldn’t be living her youth like this. But she could never leave her father.

Feeling the familiar burn in her nose, she took a deep breath, trying to keep her emotions locked away. Not wanting to ruin this night, plus she didn’t want to mess up her makeup.

____________________________

Half walking, half running, she was eagerly trying to make her way to her boys. When suddenly, a loud crash alerted her. Walking closer to the alley behind the theater, she spotted Steve in a defensive stance, while a much larger man laughed, winding his fist back.

Ignoring she was outmatched, she sprinted, jumping on the mans back, slapping the sides of his face harshly.

“Hands off him!” She shouted.

Taken by surprise the man grunted from the impact of their bodies colliding, wincing as his skin stung from the hard smacks. Growing annoyed, he reached behind his head, grabbing a fistful of her hair and swinging her around to his front, finally getting a glance at his attacker. He smirked disgustingly, pulling her closer.

“Well, I sure do like a girl with some fight.” He practically growled into her ear.

Thrusting her knee up into his crouch, he released her immediately, stumbling back into Steve who caught her. Doubling over, he hissed angrily, straightening back up to face the two.

“You bitch!” He spat, ready to advance towards them.

Steve quickly shoved her behind him, throwing a wobbly punch towards the man, only for him to catch it and strike him across the face, sending him back into the trash cans face first.

“Hey!” Bucky shouted, pulling the man by his sleeve towards the alley entrance. “Pick on someone your own size.”

(Y/n) seeing the bully was taken care of, she kneels down to check on Steve.

“Stevie, you okay?” She asked worried, grabbing his chin and tilting his head side to side, checking the damage.

Steve embarrassed, gently pushes away her hands, making her frown.

“I’m fine.” Steve tells her, not making eye contact.

“What were you thinking?” She hissed, angry at him putting himself in danger.

“Oh yeah, I just love getting beat up (Y/n).” He spat back.

“Can you just not get in a fight for one day?”

“Can you just shut up?!” He shouted, while (Y/n) was taken aback.

“Hey, that’s enough!” Bucky stepped in finally. “Steve, come on man. She cares about you.”

Steve felt his anger fade at the sight of (Y/n)‘s saddened form. He felt bad for being mean after not seeing her for a long time.

Bucky gave Steve a look, turning to (Y/n) fully.

“You alright doll?” Bucky asked her softly, lifting her chin with his fingers, making her cheeks heat up.

She loved it when he called her that.

“Yeah, I’m good buck. Just a tender scalp.” She replied, rubbing the back of her head, soothing the sore skin.

Bucky smiled at her toughness, pulling her into a bone crushing hug.

“I’m sorry, (Y/n).” Steve spoke.

“It’s fine Stevie.” She assured him, not wanting to drag out the argument.

When he pulled back, it dawned on her (and Steve) that he was in uniform. And he looked so damn handsome.

Steve and Bucky were talking back and fourth, while (Y/n) was practically drooling over his new look. Taking him all in head to toe, and she realized that him like this was doing things to her.

It only took a few extra seconds for her to realize what this meant, and her face dropped.

Before she could comment on her concerns, Bucky had pulled Steve and her to his sides.

“Gotta get Steve cleaned up, doll.” Bucky told her, watching her cheeks grow red.

“Where are we going?” Steve asked him.

“The future.” Bucky said cryptically, making (Y/n) and Steve laugh.

________________________

(Y/n) was shaking with excitement, getting time with the boys, going to the Stark Expo. The night was going great, until it wasn’t. Bucky had brought along two girls, dates for both him and Steve. She was offended at the audacity, spending his night with two random strangers. She missed when it was just them three.

Yes, she realized that Bucky couldn’t read minds and he had no idea of her feelings for him. But that didn’t stop her from being upset, she did however try her best to not let it show.

Unfortunately the girl Bucky had brought along for Steve wasn’t interested, and instead clung to Bucky. Now having two girls swooning for him. The girl holding hands with Bucky squealed in excitement, pulling Bucky along to watch the show ahead. Leaving Steve and (Y/n) behind, dragging their feet.

“Yup.. this is so much fun.” She mumbled, trying to come up with an idea.

“What’s wrong with you?” Steve asked, offering her popcorn from his bag.

“Thanks.” She grabbed some, “It’s just.. why did he have to bring.. them.”

“No idea, but she definitely doesn’t like me.” Steve said, keeping his head down.

“Ignore her Stevie, she doesn’t realize how awesome you are.” She told him, making his scoff.

“But that can’t be the reason why you’re in a mood.” Steve said blankly.

“Sure it can.”

“No, it’s something else.” He insisted, making (Y/n) roll her eyes.

“Definitely not.” She fired back, her eyes locking with a handsome stranger from far away.

“Mhm.. you’ve got that look you get when you have a bad idea.” Steve pointed out.

“Okay just this once.. you may be right.” She agreed, but wanted to follow through.

_____________________

Bucky was talking with the two girls, aware that (Y/n) and Steve had wandered off. He didn't want to ditch the girls, but all he really wanted was to spend time with his two friends. Thinking about it, (Y/n) had been off ever since he introduced her to the girls, and it made him wonder.

Just as Bucky was about to excuse himself, to try and find his two friends. He spotted (Y/n) walking over, her arm hooked with a random guys.

She had watched Bucky's face go from confused to annoyed in a second, making her smirk deviously.

"Hey Buck, mind if we join you guys?" She asked, suddenly all happy and willing to hang with the girls. Bucky tried to force a smile while he glared at the man.

"Who's this?" Bucky asked her, raising his brows.

"Oh right, this is Danny." She told him.

"My names actually Don." The guy corrected her shyly.

"Same thing." She muttered, kicking the side of Don's leg.

Bucky watched the interaction between the two with a confused look, was he was missing something?

"Hey Sarge, can we go dancing?" One of the girls asked, batting her eyelashes. Making (Y/n) clench her teeth.

"Of course. (Y/n) you wanna join?" Bucky asked, side eyeing Don.

"We, would love to." She said a little too harshly, emphasizing the we, making sure he got the point.

Bucky nodded, still confused at her behavior. Had he done something wrong? He didn't understand the switch up. What he was sure of on the other hand, was that he did not like Don touching her.

Before she could walk away, arm in arm with Don, he stopped her.

"Hey (Y/n), can we talk?" Bucky asked her, watching her defensive posture melt and she nodded, excusing herself from Don.

Making their way to a more secluded spot, (Y/n) was the first to speak.

"Can we hurry this up.. uh, got a hot date waiting." She said, trying to sound uninterested with wherever this conversation was going.

"What's going on doll? You've been acting…off." Bucky started with, not sounding like himself. She's never thrown herself at guys like that, and he didn't like it.

"I'm not, just found someone I might like." She told him, crossing her arms over her chest.

"You barely know the guy's name." Bucky argued, watching her cheeks grow red from being called out.

"So? You barely remember the names of the girls you've been with." She shot back, seeing Bucky be taken aback.

Bucky had it hit him there, she was jealous. He tried not to smile, but he couldn't help but think how adorable she looked, at all her effort in trying to make him jealous. Which kind of worked.

"Are you jealous doll?" Bucky teased, watching her swallow and her cheeks grew a deeper red.

"Hell no, and don't call me that." She told him, her heart beating erratically.

"Doll, what's going on?" He asked her again, but less teasing and softer.

(Y/n) took a deep breath, knowing that if she was ever going to tell him, it best be now. She didn't want to wait for him to get back from war, or worse... never get the chance.

"I don't like that you brought those girls around… okay?” She started, looking down at her boots, kicking pebbles around.

Bucky lifted her chin, urging her to continue. Swallowing nervously, she decided this was it. No going back, this could ruin their friendship.

"I wanted to be your date... I wanna be yours." She quieted down at the last part, embarrassed. She knew he most likely didn't feel the same way, and from his silence, her eyes started to water.

"(Y/n), can you look at me." Bucky asked her finally, his heart breaking at the sound of her sniffle.

She inhaled deep, her bottom lip quivering, buried emotions deciding now was the best time to show. But otherwise looked up and met his steel blue orbs, ones that held no judgment.

"I’m sorry for never saying anything, guess I was confused too. But you’ve always had me wrapped around your finger, hate that I didn’t see it sooner.” He confessed, keeping her gaze in a gentle, affectionate hold.

“You want me too?” She asked shyly, not believing what she was hearing.

“Doll, I want you… all of you.” He told her, stepping closer, wrapping his arm around her, pushing on her lower back. Their fronts meeting, she faintly gasped.

“I don’t want you to leave me.” She whispered, a tear escaping through her lashes, but was quickly wiped away by Bucky’s thumb.

“I don’t want to either, but I promise I’ll come back to you.” He declared, pulling her shaking form even closer. “Now i’ve really got something to fight for.”

With a sad smile, (Y/n) stood on her tippy toes, giving Bucky a lingering kiss on his cheek. Making his stomach flutter with excitement.

“Now, why don’t we find Steve and get out of here.” He suggested, wrapping his arm around her waist, keeping her trapped against him.

“What about the girls?”

“Don’t worry about them. Plus i’ve got my girl right here.” He told her, watching her cheeks grow red again, which he would never get over. Loving the effect he had on her.

“And Don?” She teased, earning a chuckle from him.

“Don’t care, you’re mine.” He told her, giving her an adoring look, loving the way he could say she was his now.

Deep down they had always loved each other of course, but now it was something fathomless. They had already gotten a crumb of what things could be like now, and they craved more.

A/N: poor don deserved better😭 thank you for beta reading @foreverrandomwritings 💕

#bucky x y/n #bucky barnes #40s bucky #light angst #fluff #cheesy #marvel #marvel imagines #oneshot #reader insert #james buchanan barnes #the winter soldier #sebastianstan #steve rogers #pre serum steve #40s steve rogers

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haravath0t · 1 year ago

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⸝⸝ ʚ ⛸ ! ⌗ °• ⎯ೃ༄

𝟺𝟶𝚜!𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚟𝚎 𝚛𝚘𝚐𝚎𝚛𝚜 𝚡 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛

𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑹𝒊𝒌𝒂𝒏𝒆 𝑾𝒐𝒏𝒅𝒆𝒓𝒍𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝑨𝒅𝒗𝒆𝒏𝒕 𝑪𝒂𝒍𝒆𝒏𝒅𝒂𝒓 - 𝚍𝚊𝚢 𝟸

“𝙲𝚒𝚝𝚢 𝚜𝚒𝚍𝚎𝚠𝚊𝚕𝚔𝚜, 𝚋𝚞𝚜𝚢 𝚜𝚒𝚍𝚎𝚠𝚊𝚕𝚔𝚜,

𝚍𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚜𝚎𝚍 𝚒𝚗 𝚑𝚘𝚕𝚒𝚍𝚊𝚢 𝚜𝚝𝚢𝚕𝚎.

𝙸𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚊𝚒𝚛 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎’𝚜 𝚊 𝚏𝚎𝚎𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚘𝚏 𝙲𝚑𝚛𝚒𝚜𝚝𝚖𝚊𝚜.”

𝚜𝚢𝚗𝚘𝚙𝚜𝚒𝚜 : ̗̀➛ the holidays are nearing, and he cannot help but feel excited looking for trees with you now that he has a lot more strength than he used to

☕🤍🌿 𝚕𝚒𝚋𝚛𝚊𝚛𝚒𝚊𝚗'𝚜 𝚛𝚎𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚖𝚎𝚗𝚍𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗: 𝚙𝚕𝚎𝚊𝚜𝚎 𝚛𝚎𝚋𝚕𝚘𝚐 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚒𝚏 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚎𝚗𝚓𝚘𝚢𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚜𝚝𝚘𝚛𝚢 ! 𝚒𝚝 𝚑𝚎𝚕𝚙𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚕𝚒𝚋𝚛𝚊𝚛𝚢 𝚝𝚎𝚗𝚍 𝚝𝚘 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚗𝚎𝚎𝚍𝚜 ! ☕🤍🌿

“Steve!”

“Sweetheart, please relax for me?” Steve urges for the tenth time softly, seeing guilt run through your face as the now large and muscular blonde happily carries the fresh Christmas tree from the tree farm with ease.

It was a hard sight to become accustomed to, seeing Steve…your Steve, doing all these strenuous things all on his own, especially when many Christmases have gone by where you had been splitting 50%, hell, 75% of the labor with him. Steve only looks back at you when he realizes you haven’t been walking alongside him for three or four steps, the same confident and eager gaze targeted towards you reminding you of the frail man that you have grown to love all these years, and that unshakeable spirit of his.

“Oh, doll…” He sighs with a soft smile, his gloved hand taking your own as he leans to give a tender peck on your lips. It was as though he knew what you were thinking, wanting to soothe your inherent worries and silence your thoughts to come back to him. “We’re almost home. Come on.”

#steve rogers fanfiction #steve rogers x reader #40s!steve #40s!steve x Reader #mcu moodboard #steve rogers moodboard #steve rogers x you #steve rogers x y/n

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lauriegraham01 · 1 year ago

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40s!headcannons - steve & bucky

pairings: steve rogers x reader, bucky barnes x reader

summary: headcannons of steve and bucky from the 40s.

w/c: 645

content warning: minor angst, mentions of domestic/child abuse, fluff, mention of smoking/drinking.

Steve Rogers

Steve always being shy to show affection, for fear of rejection. So whenever you initiate acts of affection, he goes red and his heart does somersaults.

He doesn't like to talk about his dad much, it still hurts to think about the abuse he and his mom faced because of him.

But he sometimes misses the way his dad was before the abuse started but he feels wrong for missing someone who caused so much pain.

Steve first learned how to draw from recreating the human anatomy because he had a curiosity for medicine, taking after his mother who was a nurse.

Steve learned how to do everything around the house- cooking, cleaning, hell he even knew how to sew. His mother had instilled the importance of knowing how to take care of yourself within him at a young age.

Coming from Irish-Catholics, he and his mother would attend mass frequently.

Steve loved midnight Christmas mass the most.

Loved reading and saving up to buy new books and comics.

Was the type of kid to hide underneath the covers with a flashlight just so that he could read late at night.

He memorized the entire subway system at one point.

His favorite places to take you on dates would be parks and record shops.

Textbook definition of a gentleman, would open every door for you, walk closest to the street, give you his jacket if your cold, and drop you off at your doorstep after a date.

After the serum, he still wasn't used to his new body so he would still accidently buy clothes that were too small.

Steve wrote to you and told you everything about what he was doing while away.

This man would lose his mind every time you sent him a photo of yourself in your letters.

Worshipped the ground you walked on and treats you nothing short of a queen.

He was afraid that his inexperience would be an issue and after reassuring him that it wasn't he fell even deeper in love with you.

Needless to say Steve loved learning new things with you ;)

Bucky Barnes

Bucky was openly affectionate and it often meant that you would get dirty look from girls who had a crush on him because they were jealous that Bucky was paying to attention to you.

Bucky is Jewish (especially considering that his character is based on another Jewish character/has Jewish influences)

He would invite Steve over for Seder dinners every year.

Bucky cannot cook to save his life, his role in the kitchen often being helping cut veggies or wash dishes.

Bucky was a naturally loud person seeing as he lived with four sisters and had an all around loud household/family.

Bucky picked up street-boxing when he was 13.

Steve hated this. Often having to be the one to patch up Bucky after a nasty fight.

Bucky could understand and even speak a little bit of Spanish, learning from friends and from girls he'd dated before.

Bucky would sneak up the fire escape to be able to knock on your window and see you late at night.

Bucky smokes, but never around you or Steve out of respect.

He is a sappy drunk. He will go on and on about how much he loves you and how beautiful you are.

He can handle his liquor.

He loved going dancing with you- especially at jazz clubs.

An absolute sucker for rhythm and blues.

He knew that he wanted to marry you, but he wanted to wait until after the war to get married.

He had the ring picked and locked away.

He kept a picture of you tucked away in his coat pocket, admiring the picture everyday while overseas.

He wrote to you often, asking about how things were back home. Your responses giving him hope that this war would end soon and he's come back home to you.

#40s bucky #40s steve rogers #bucky barnes #captain america #steve rogers #pre serum steve #bucky barnes x reader #steve rogers x reader #bucky barnes fanfiction #steve rogers fanfiction #fluff #slight angst #marvel

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literaryavenger · 8 months ago

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Bucky Barnes Masterlist

SERIES (3+ parts)

Broken - finished

TWO-PART SHOTS

I love you and I hate it

Part 1 | Part 2

Meet the Guardians of the Galaxy

Part 1 | Part 2

Sargeant Grumpy

Part 1 | Part 2

ONE-SHOTS

On Thin Ice - Figure Skating AU - requested

Mornings Like This - requested

Love Is A Battlefield

New Year's Eve

Back To You - alternative ending

Happy Birthday

Birthday Kiss - 40s Bucky

Can I Be Him?

Not So Bad

Sputnik - requested

Obsessed

Stargazing

You Were My Sunshine

Until My Last Breath

DRABBLES

You're Still My Sunshine

Bucky Eating

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royalsweetteaa · 2 years ago

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Timeless lovin’ - pt. 3

Pairing: CATFA!40s!Steve Rogers x present!reader

18+ ONLY | MINORS DNI

WARNING - The following story contains: explicit smut, oral sex (F receiving), boob groping, dom!reader, Steve calls reader ma'am, sub!Steve, virgin!Steve, pet names, Steve has a praise kink, angst, fluff, developing feelings, spoilers, time skips, alternative reality, wingman!Bucky Barnes.

Pt. | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 |

Summary: Steve left for Peggy in the past, and you were determined to travel back in time and get answers after he left your relationship of 4 years behind him just like that. You get a little ahead of yourself and travel past where your Steve left off, and you meet Steve Rogers, - the man before he hit the ice and was frozen for 70 years.

Y/N’s POV

For the night, I decided to give it a rest and leave my issues for tomorrow, seeing as there wasn’t much else I could do now that I had walked away from Steve. It was a good thing that I was exhausted anyway, and a good night sleep was very much needed.

Throughout the night, I was a bit tempted to leave back to my time before the morning rose, but it felt like it would be too wasteful. I acknowledged I was extremely privileged for receiving the opportunity of traveling through time, and so why leave when I could spend one more day to witness the life of the 40s myself?

The next day I woke up earlier than most and set course to the nearest town from the military base. Soldiers greeted me along the way of getting to the gate, as news had spread that a new female 'soldier' had joined amongst the Howling Commandos and had been of great service for the previous mission.

It felt good to be acknowledged with smiles and nods as a form of respect, but there was also the whistles which still put me off guard. I wasn't quite used to it yet but it wasn't like it surprised me. Due to people's acknowledgement of me, I didn’t have to show my ID when I left, which was convenient.

I took the bus downtown and walked out at the stop of the plaza. It wasn’t busy this early in the morning, but thankfully some shops were open for me to explore.

For me it was mind boggling to think I was the only one in the whole world with the knowledge of what would happen the next 70 + years. Everyone was walking around with the war as their only concern, - not robot and alien invasions. I envied that a little.

40s!Steve POV

I knocked on Bucky’s door and rushed inside once I heard his voice of approval. He was sitting on his desk, going over some of his files. Cutting through the chase, I asked him, “Buck, have you seen Y/N?” hoping he would possibly know something.

Bucky turned around, “You mean the girl you haven’t told me a thing about? I may have overheard someone mentioning her whereabouts. Why?”

I felt a sense of relief when Bucky said he had heard she was still around. Good, she hadn’t returned to her time then.

But who knows when she will.

“It’s urgent…I need to talk to her.”

“Steve, you’ve never been this secretive with me. Have I done something to break our trust or what?” Bucky asked with confrontation, his arms crossed as he expected an explanation.

I sighed, understanding why my best friend was feeling left out, when it was just too complicated for me to bring him into it. I had promised Y/N to not speak of our situation, and while it was tempting to share it with Bucky, I knew it wasn’t the right time for that yet. Not when there was too much going on from before.

“I…listen, I can’t go into details right now but let’s just say this woman is very important to me and I have to find her cause she left me yesterday before we could clear things up, and I’m risking on loosing her if I don’t leave right now…”

Bucky’s eyes widened with surprise, “Woah, hold on, what happened last night?”

I pinched the bridge of my nose as I was growing more impatient, and luckily Bucky retorted immediately with, “Fine, we can save it for later. I overheard some guy by the gate say he got to have small talk with her and she told him she’ll be exploring downtown today cause she’s curious about the area, - something like that. Don’t know what could be interesting in downtown Dover but -!”

“Thanks Buck, I’ll see you later!” I interrupted him from finishing his sentence as I left to head for the gate and take a ride on my motorcycle.

Second person POV

You had bought an ice cream sundae and had a taste of delicious apple pie at a cafe, - something that tasted so fresh and homemade, it couldn’t compare to your time’s desserts. Why didn’t they make them like this anymore?

Oh right, because in present time, all they do is put chemicals in every single ingredient because it gives a ‘better colour’ or ‘makes it last longer’ despite increasing risks of cancer. Lovely.

As you were carrying your bag of bought items and walking around for some more, you heard the rumble of a motorcycle catching up to you from behind. You turned around out of habit to make sure you weren’t in the way, but when you saw who it was, you turned almost panicked.

You had at least wanted to be mentally prepared to be approached by Steve or approach him again, - not like this where you were halting with shopping bags in your hand as Steve parked his motorbike by the sidewalk to come over to you.

Out of grudge and stubbornness, you decided to keep walking, even when Steve was calling after you. Once he inevitably caught up, he had you confronted.

"Y/N, please stop running away from me." Steve called you out, and you eventually went full stop.

You wrapped your arms around yourself, feeling conflicted about the whole situation but you didn't want to be a coward anymore. You were going to tell him what was the issue.

"I’m not running away…- Steve, this was all a big mistake. I should have returned a long time ago before we..before all of this happened...” You gestured at the space between the two of you. “We’ve been around each other long enough. There's nothing else for me to do here."

"No, come on Y/N....don't say that." Steve pled, sadness spreading on his features. He reached out with the extra motorcycle helmet to you, “Come back to the base with me, please. I’d like to take this conversation there instead of here in the open. The last thing I want is a HYDRA spy listening in on us.”

You huffed but agreed, and took the helmet from his hands before sitting behind Steve on the motorcycle. He put your items into the trunk, and had you wrap your arms around him as he drove back, being welcomed with an open gate at the base.

Once you got off, he led you to a secluded area, behind the wall of a bunker, where no other person would have a reason to be at the moment.

You met his eyes when you turned to look at each other, expecting him to talk first, - and that he did.

“Y/N, I…I don’t want you to leave. Not like this anyway. Yesterday was…well, I quite frankly enjoyed our time spending together, and I didn’t see why…you had to leave so abruptly after we…you know…” Steve trailed off as his cheeks became red, “I-I thought we had a good time. Didn’t you?”

“You’re with Peggy.” You started off with your reasoning. “It isn’t…- it wasn’t right for me to do that. I’m sorry I did that. I really don’t want to be the other woman anymore..” You said the last part above a whisper, biting the inside of your cheek as you tried your best not to cry.

“…You’re not the other woman.” Steve said sternly. “Me and Peggy…we aren’t official. Never were. She’s always given me mixed signals, and while we’ve shared a few romantic moments, it hasn’t been remotely the same as the ones I’ve shared with you. I’ve never…we haven’t done anything like I have with you.” Steve put it in his own way, trying hard to speak without crudeness.

You scoffed, “Okay, so you haven’t had sex. So? That doesn’t mean anything. At the end of the day, you left me for her. How can you be so sure this will be any different?”

Steve’s body turned tense, and he slammed his fisted hand onto the iron wall of the bunker, causing it to bulge. That had really caught you off guard. “I didn’t leave you! He did. Everything you’ve told me about my future self, - I don’t recognize myself in him at all. He obviously went through certain things that changed him. That made him miss what he once called home and made him forget of what he had right in front of him! You can’t keep on pushing me away just because of his mistake.”

You couldn't look him in the eye as emotions were once again bottling up and you were scared it would spill out. Steve’s face softened, regretting he had been harsh with his tone, but he felt like it was necessary this time. He took your cheeks into the palm of his hands carefully.

“Y/N, please look at me…” Steve plead. “I used to think I loved Peggy too, but with you, I’ve learned it was purely platonic. I only have fondness for her because she was the first woman apart from my mother to care about me despite being the puny kid from Brooklyn. I was practically all alone before the serum, with everyone else being way ahead of me. Including Bucky, no matter how supportive he was of me. I don’t expect you to understand...” he said, his eyes trailing down to the ground.

You gathered the courage to look him in the eye again as you spoke, “…Yes, your experiences are yours only…but you were the first man to take me seriously and care about me too. I used to think I would stay single for the rest of my life because no man would look my way, but then you did. I guess that’s one of many reasons I haven’t been able to let go. I’m upset he made me believe I had a shot in ever lasting happiness.”

Steve stared at you then, not believing what he was hearing when he was taking in your appearance. “You do deserve ever lasting happiness as any other good woman...I don’t know what kind of light is blinding the men of your time, but your beauty is beyond graceful.”

You chuckled lightly, “....That’s...sweet of you to say, -”

“I’m serious.” His voice sharpened. “I want to get to know you. It has only been a few days and I’m feeling things I’ve never felt before. A feeling I don’t want to let go of, and if you feel the same, you will not go back.”

You sighed with stubbornness, not willing to easily let yourself go defeat. “I…-”

“Captain, I’m so sorry to disrupt, but Miss Carter has just returned from London and would like to meet you.” A soldier said out of breath, as if he had wandered around for some time to find Steve, and Steve cursed under his breath for the bad timing.

“I’ll be with her in a minute, thank you.” Steve politely responded, and the soldier left. He looked at you again and held your shoulders. “Please listen to me. Don’t leave for the future while I go talk to her, okay? I’ll tell her about us.”

You sighed once more, “Steve, I can’t stay here, -” You were disrupted from speaking when his lips connected with yours for a kiss. It was unexpected, but you easily melted into it as his soft lips made it impossible to resist. He was gentle as he held your body close to his, showing how much he didn’t want to let you go.

Once he actually did, he whispered, “Please,…stay.” Steve pleaded once again, his cheeks turning pink at the bold move he had just pulled, but he desperately wanted to prove to you his worthiness.

You held your gaze to his and accepted your defeat, “Okay, fine…It’s a bad idea but fine.”

“Thank you. You won’t regret it. And I’m sorry for…not asking for permission to kiss you. I just,…you know…I really want you to stay.”

You laughed while shaking your head. “Fine. I’ll be waiting for you then, Captain.”

Steve went on his way after that, letting out a huff as a proud smile formed on his lips.

His heart rate had increased and it wasn’t just because he had kissed you moments before, but because he left you wanting to get back to you as soon as possible. You had laughed at his awkwardness, - not mockingly but out of being charmed, and he felt confident on being himself around a woman for once.

He couldn’t say he’s been able to be himself like this with any other woman without receiving a weirded out frown, - including Peggy.

Speaking of Peggy, - Steve spotted her by the mechanics, and before Steve could even think out what he should say, her eyes had caught him and she waved at him with a smile. She had her suitcase in her grip and a folder under her other arm, which told Steve she had quite literally just arrived to the base.

When they got close enough to each other, Peggy greeted him, and Steve returned it, “Hi Peggy, welcome back.”

“Steve, how nice it is to see you again. It’s been a moment but I’m sure they won’t be needing me in London for a while, - not until we go through the next big mission anyway.” Peggy informed contently while placing her suitcase and folder on a nearby table.

“That’s good. Things aren’t the same when you aren’t around.” Steve said.

Peggy snorted at that. “I’m sure it isn’t. I heard the last mission went swiftly though. You’re getting the hang of it and it has only been, - I suppose a year? It’s impressive really.”

Steve smiled as he made short eye contact with her, “Thank you, and yeah, I take pride in my progress. But of course there’s always room for improvement...”

“You’re right about that.” Peggy said, and pulled a frown when she looked to the side at her folder, taken aback at how simply Steve was responding. She was used to his rambles whenever she initiated a conversation, but now he was being awfully reserved.

When she looked up again from her documents, she continued, “Something’s on your mind. I can tell. Is there something you want to tell me? Something that has happened?”

Steve's eyes didn't know where to stay a-put as he grew nervous, and it didn't help with how he knew Peggy could tell he was.

Peggy sighed, realizing she would have to take initiative to get whatever picked Steve's brain to come out verbally to her. “Come, let’s sit down, Steve.” Peggy proposed, and Steve accepted.

They sat down at whatever place was available since there were no chairs outside by the mechanics. Steve cleared his throat, not sure where to begin, but he found what he could start with before he spoke.

“Peggy…you know that you’re very important to me, and that I would never purposefully push you away, or hurt your feelings, right?” Steve asked, as he fiddled with his fingers.

Peggy slowly nodded as she looked at the man who could only maintain his eyes on the ground. “There’s a ‘but’ to this, isn’t there?”

Steve swallowed a lump down his throat as he hesitantly looked up at her, - his 'first love'.

“I may have fallen in love with someone else.”

Peggy blinked, “Oh..is that so?” She asked, surprised to say the least.

“Yeah…I guess I just wanted to let you know because I think it’s only fair. I know we were never official and all, but we didn’t exactly keep it friendly all the time so I…-…I won’t blame you if you stop talking to me or ask me to leave you alone. I know this is out of nowhere, - these feelings came to me unexpectedly too, but I’ve never felt anything like it…so that’s why I…- I want to hold onto these feelings with this woman. I wouldn’t help it if I otherwise ignore it…” Steve spoke his end.

Peggy inhaled through her nose as she stood up, quietly walking over to Steve. “Hey, look, - If this woman is special to you, I am not going to come in the way of your happiness, Steve. You will always find a friend in me if that’s how you want to maintain it.”

Steve’s face lit up as he looked up at Peggy, who had a matching calmness to her face as her voice. “Really? So you’re not upset?”

Peggy laughed as she stroked Steve’s cheek. “My skin is thicker than you think. I can assure you I will manage just fine. I’m not going to lie to you and say it doesn’t hurt me a little bit but…moping around doesn’t do any good. Winning this war will be my top priority to the end of it, and I’ll follow you as a fighter despite where your heart’s at.”

Steve’s lips formed into a smile of relief to Peggy’s response. “Thank you, Peggy...it's relieving to know I haven't lost you as a friend."

He stood up and the pair shared a friendly hug at last, one of which Steve felt going into peace with the fact that he had made this decision to follow you instead, who his heart was currently beating so hard for. Steve couldn’t help but wonder if maybe this closure would have helped future Steve to move past Peggy as he didn’t feel any regrets or as though he was missing out on something, - not when Peggy had said she still sees him as a friend in her life and that it didn’t have to be anything else.

It felt right.

So how come future Steve hadn’t felt the same?

When he left Peggy to go see you again, his mind was wandering as he tried to reason with, -…well, himself. With circumstances being so different, where he in the 40s was now aware that at one point he will be going to the future and possibly meet you and become lovers, - the idea didn’t frighten him anymore.

It led him to believe perhaps future Steve hadn’t ever been at peace with it all as it wasn’t like he was warned about it. No, he most definitely couldn’t have been.

The kind of closure he got from Peggy moments before is something he never would have gotten if you weren’t here.

There had to be something about that, Steve thought.

You waited for Steve by the bonfire that had been vacated by the soldiers as they were deployed on doing their assigned tasks till afternoon.

You stared into nothing while you were thinking of so many things, but before you could get too deep into these thoughts, a familiar voice came from behind you.

“Hey, there. Y/N, right?”

You turned around and weren’t surprised by who had greeted you.

Bucky.

Ever since you met him for the first time, you grew incredibly annoyed each time you saw his face on a news article or literally anywhere else.

You were familiar with him first after he became listed as a wanted target by S.H.I.E.L.D., but the two of you only met face to face after Steve left as you were desperate for answers. You reached out to the person who was closest to him, but he didn’t know anything of you as you and Steve had only become a couple within the years of which half of the population was gone. Amongst those was of course Bucky.

So when you finally met and you explained everything, you were so disappointed with his answer. Offended would probably be a better word to describe it.

“Look, I apologize on Steve’s behalf that he left you without at least saying goodbye, but you need to see it from his perspective. Steve had it all taken away from him of living the good life after fighting Second World War. And then he was pushed into all this mess of becoming an Avenger, saving me and fighting wars with aliens. I was involved in a lot of that so I know just how draining it was for him. Steve has always put everyone else before himself, and now that he had the chance to live the life he wanted, he had to take it. I think it’s best for you to let it rest and respect his choice. -

He deserves to be happy.”

All of your nerves were hit by the end of his ‘wise words’, yet you managed to silently leave the place in order not to loose control and choke the man. Not that you had a chance against the super soldier, but you were too angry not to entertain the thought. You tried to excuse him for seeming a bit out of it himself, but you still would have preferred a shrug for a response rather than that.

What a way to excuse him for leaving his girlfriend of 4 years with no indication of doing so instead of being, - you know, - a man and say it as it is.

Fuck my happiness I guess, you thought.

“Hello, James.” You greeted back with less enthusiasm.

“You can also call me -“

“- Bucky. I know.”

He frowned but dismissed your hinted attitude. “I have a feeling Steve didn’t tell you that.”

You narrowed an eye. “Oh?” Had Steve told him about who I really am?

“Yeah, Steve usually introduces me as James until I get a chance to introduce myself in my own charming way.” Bucky explained smugly as he sat beside you at the bonfire. "But I guess with everyone calling me that around here makes it harder for me to do that."

“Right…” You replied.

“So…It’s come to my attention you and Steve are close. Is that true?“ Bucky asked curiously.

You shrugged, “I suppose you could say that.”

“You know, Steve is a great guy. He’s got all the qualities you could want, - he's this big macho guy yet he's sensitive, as you can probably tell just by looking at him. He can be a little shy sometimes but I can assure you it’s only cause he finds you gorgeous. A gorgeous dame makes any man nervous after all. If you're looking for something serious, you can most definitely count on him, - unlike the most soldiers around here....” He said, snickering in the midst of his last sentence.

You had to chuckle. It was obvious to you what he was doing, being Steve’s best friend and all. You didn’t need him to tell you he had all these qualities when Steve was good at showing those himself, but you welcomed it as you found it entertaining.

Suddenly another someone made an appearance, that person being none other than Steve.

“Excuse me, I don’t mean to disturb you two but I’ll have to borrow him for a bit.” Steve spoke while wrapping an arm around Bucky’s shoulder to lead him away. Once they got away from you far enough to be out of earshot, Steve glared at Bucky with concern.

“What are you doing?”

Bucky chuckled, “Nothing bud, I only put good words on ya. Figured I would give the lady some reassurance from someone who knows you the best. Maybe that will give the both of you a push and you’ll be sliding into second base in no time.” Bucky said, smirking at Steve who was left to blush with embarrassment.

“You don’t need to do that…I have it under control.” Steve mumbled. “I’m not a puny kid anymore. I can take hold of things myself now, including my love life.”

Bucky chuckled, “Hey, I’m sure you can but having a wingman is always useful, don’t you think? You lack experience despite how buffed up you have become. You’re still a virgin, aren’t you? Unless…?”

Steve gulped nervously, knowing full well lying out of the topic wouldn’t save him as Bucky could always tell when he wasn’t telling the truth. “I’m not about to answer that.”

Bucky laughed, “I know damn well Peggy and you haven’t gone beyond making out. I’m pretty sure I heard from someone that she’s one to wait until marriage. So come on, tell me. You’re killing me here.” Bucky begged, almost whining for an answer at this point.

Steve sighed as he tried to be as discreet as possible with his words without saying too much. “I haven’t -…you know…gone through intercourse, but I might have done something else.”

Bucky looked back at the woman again. “With her? You two did something last night, didn’t you?” Steve nodded hesitantly. “Damn, Steve I’m so proud of you! You’ve passed third base! That must mean the two of you are serious serious. Can’t believe you’ve never mentioned her before.”

Steve pushed Bucky’s arm, “Keep it down, will you? You’re practically shouting.”

“Hey, I’m just proud of you. You’re finally taking big steps.” Bucky pointed out. “With Peggy it was taking forever for the two of you to even kiss each other’s cheeks, - which speaking of which, are you over her? Have you told her?”

“I did tell her actually, only a few minutes ago…she was very mature about it and honestly, I admire that a lot of her.” Steve said, smiling to himself as the reminder that they were still on good terms was nice to him.

“But that might have been the problem.” Bucky added, “I noticed there was no real spark whenever you were together. Too much admiring and ‘looking up to’. You two were always…too polite with each other. I kind of knew by looking at the two of you that it wasn't going to go anywhere beyond friendship.”

“Really?” Steve asked, surprised to be hearing that. It was sending him in a spiral of questions and theories. Because he was aware that somewhere, there would be exactly that, - something beyond friendship. Him and Peggy being together with commitment. So why would Bucky say that? Had Bucky from a different timeline where Peggy and him did end up together share the same opinion?

Steve's head started to hurt the more he overthought it. Gosh, was it exhausting to be aware of these things, Steve thought.

Steve returned back to you after sending Bucky to the rest of the team, hoping this would be last interruption between the two of you.

“I’m sorry about that, Bucky is a bit…extra sometimes.” Steve excused.

You smirked, “It’s fine, he only said good things about you.”

“So he claimed…” Steve chuckled nervously. “I told her.” He apprised.

“Okay…so you’re done with her? Just like that?”

“We are still good friends, - but in the way you're thinking, yes..." Steve confirmed, his eyes shimmering almost nervously. "Are you now convinced you want to give us a try?”

You looked down, staring at the fire which was dying at this point. “Maybe,…I’m not sure where we should go with this. I don’t exactly belong here.”

“Is there...anyone you’ll be missing if you stayed? Family, friends?” Steve asked carefully.

You narrowed an eyebrow, "Are you implying I should stay here, Steve? In the 40s?"

"Would it be so bad?" Steve asked, expressing worry from perhaps suggesting the far fetched. "I know your time is way more advanced and impressive, but...- I'll make sure you have everything you need. I'll help in any way for you to adjust...and if it still doesn't work for you then..."

"- Then I'll go back, and try to move on. And so will you." You completed his sentence, though it wasn't the same words Steve would've used.

He gulped but nodded understandingly. "Yes. Exactly that."

You half-smiled sympathetically, hinting your sadness. "I don't mean to be harsh, but I don't want to have our feelings hurt more than necessary. We still have time to figure out and decide what we do, but you understand why we need to draw a line, right? If it doesn't work out, we call it quits."

Steve nodded again, “I understand…but that doesn’t mean I’ll promise I won’t allow myself to fall for you. Besides…I believe I’m already falling as we speak. There’s usually no return from a fall.” He said, almost poetically but it didn’t sound like he had put it together on purpose. He was just being his charming self.

“If you keep talking like that, I might stumble over the edge too.” You said with a wink. Steve laughed at that, and returned a cheeky grin.

From there, you decided to walk back to center base. There was a long silence on the way, where you simply observed the environment. When you got close to your assigned rooms though, Steve broke the appreciated silence.

“Uh, Y/N?”

“Yeah?” You asked, turning to look at him with curiosity.

“I had a thought and....- before we call it a night, I was wondering if...I could return the favor?" You stared at him, confused at what he was trying to insinuate. "I want to do what you did to me yesterday…but to you..” Steve whispered his clarification in your ear. “I-If I may..”

“You mean…you want to go down on me?” You asked as you bit your lip. You had figured as much that the concept of oral sex didn’t have its own descriptions in the 40s, which explained Steve’s lack of dirty talk.

Or maybe he was just like this.

Regardless, you loved it.

”Yes….I want to return the favor to the prettiest woman in the world.”

“Now you’re reaching it.” You giggled, humored.

“Am not.” He said with a slight pout.

You bit your lip, “Well, if you’d like…we could take this further in my bedroom this time….would you like that?” You asked innocently, but Steve knew it was anything but.

“Very…” he responded, sounding out of breath but he was simply overwhelmed.

At his reply, you hurried to your room with Steve behind you, making sure you were in the clear before you quickly entered the door and closed it behind you, locking it. You didn't leave Steve waiting as you climbed on him, Steve taking it as cue to hold you up as you started doing what he least expected, - have his neck and earlobe attacked with sucks and kisses. He whines when you suck for longer periods, but turns his head further away to give you full access. He backs over to your bed, his hands holding firmer around your ass as he lies down, leaving you on top of him to do whatever you please.

You unbutton his uniform jacket, leaving him in his white shirt. His nipples poke through the thin fabric, making it irresistible for you not to pinch them a little as you continue marking his neck with hickeys. His mouth slips out a cry, and you hush him, reminding him he has to be more quiet.

“Please, kiss me…” Steve pleaded, and you stopped what you were doing at his simple, yet heart fluttering request.

“Why should I do that, Steve?” You asked teasingly, pulling back to look at him again.

“Because I want to feel that feeling again,” he breathed out. “-- That feeling that tells me how right this is..- how right we are.”

Your heart skipped the hardest beat at his words. It was as if you were falling in love all over again, though this time there was so, so much more passion. Stronger than the first time.

And It scared you, but at the same time it pulled you closer to him. It made you think that perhaps this Steve could pull you even closer than your Steve.

No. Not your Steve anymore.

The man in front of you was becoming more ‘your Steve’ than Steve from your present could ever be, and it had only been days.

You pulled him by his collar and smashed your lips onto his, making out heavily with him. He held your waist with both of his hands, needing to hold onto something as he tried not to squirm too much. Whenever you pulled away for air, you saw for yourself how empty headed you had turned him. He was panting breathlessly, his face bright red from all of the sensations you were giving him. You smiled, pecking his lips lastly before you started to undress, making Steve's eyes go wide as he was brought back to reality.

Seductively and slowly you removed your jacket, revealing your white silky shirt. Once that was off, you removed your bra too, revealing your bare breasts. Steve was in awe, his eyes becoming relaxed for once as he stared at them.

No porn magazine could ever compare to the real deal... went a thought through Steve's mind.

Carefully you took his hands from your hips and placed them on your breasts, making his breath hitch as he felt the softness of it.

"Feel them, Steve...you're allowed to." You assured him. He swallowed before firmly groping them in his palms, squeezing them out of fascination.

He took a deep breath, trying to loosen up, "I...oh god, I can't believe this is happening.."

You made a concerned face from what he had just said, and you had to ask, "Do you want to take a break, Steve? Cause if this is too much -!"

"N-No!" Steve interrupted you hastily, "No...I just...I'm mesmerized, that's all...you’re so beautiful…you look like a goddess…”, he whispered as he took in your body in front of him.

You grinned, and watched as his thumbs curiously rubbed against your hardening nipples. You hadn't had anyone touch you like this for a long time, so you couldn't help but let out a soft moan as you felt your arousal between your legs grow. Steve groaned in response, feeling his own arousal rise at the sound that had just slipped out from your lips.

You removed yourself off of him all of a sudden, making him freeze from confusion.

"I have to take off my skirt and panties, otherwise I'll soak right through them..." You explained as you had caught his reaction, and that made him sink his shoulders with relief. Just a little bit.

Before Steve could even process it, you were fully undressed in front of him with everything on display as he got a small glimpse of your pussy with your legs closed. You smirked, not only because of his shuddering response but also from seeing his raging boner making a tent through his trousers.

When you spread your legs revealing your cunt, Steve let out a sharp exhale as he mumbled something in the lines of, ‘Oh heavens..’ He had never seen female genitalia before, - not face to face anyway. With a nod of approval from you, he bowed down and got closer to it, the arousing smell hitting him like a wave. He licked his lips, wanting nothing more but to have a taste and a feel of it.

His hopes were answered as you spoke up, “Go on, baby…make me feel good…”

“Yes, ma’am…” he responded, following the same pattern you had done on his cock which was to touch you first.

He touched your cunt lightly at first, having his fingertips gracefully stroke over the sensitive flesh. His sharp ears heard your breathing hitching when he touched particular spots, - the spots being your hole and at the top where there was what looked like a tiny pearl to Steve.

Your hand reached down to touch at the spot he had first touched, and you explained, “this is my clit…it’s the most sensitive part of my pussy, and if you keep rubbing it, I’ll get more wet..”

Steve hummed with fascination, and he mimicked the motion. When he rubbed your clit in a circular motion, he heard mewls slipping out of your mouth, making him turn flushed at the lewd noises.

"Your flower is so pretty, Y/N.." Steve commented huskily. Before you could say anything, Steve used his other hand to pay attention to your hole. He curiously spread your pussy lips apart before he carefully inserted his index finger in, wriggling his way to get it in there, - though your pussy juice was more than helpful as lube.

He began to pump his finger in a slow pace while still working on your clit, causing you to occasionally jolt. Bucky had shared plenty of advice on how to pleasure a woman, and to Steve's delight it seemed like those instructions worked like a dream based on your reactions.

He still had to ask, “I’m not hurting you, am I?…” worried your twitching was of pain, but the way you were moaning said otherwise.

“No, you’re doing so good…ngh, you're a natural, Steve...keep on shoving that thick finger of yours inside of me…” you instructed him, and he did so with quicker thrusts.

The quicker he thrusted, the more wetter you became. Steve licked his lips instinctively, and without asking, he pulled out his finger causing you to whine at its absence.

He was too eager to put his mouth on you, first flattening his tongue so he could flick it all over your folds and clit while his finger did the work below. You mewled loudly and slapped a hand onto your mouth, not wanting to let out more noises for others outside to hear.

“Y-You taste so good…I think…mmh I might get drunk on your juices alone…so addictive..” he spoke through his breaks before he dove in for more. The taste was so sweet to his tastebuds, it was driving him insane. He was leisurely humping against the mattress now, grinding his clothed dick along the sheets as he got off on pleasuring you. His tongue explored everywhere, - from the source of your wetness to around your folds and then at your sensitive nub.

“Ohh, you’re doing such a good job, baby…” you praised through high pitched moans. “…keep using your tongue…want you to tongue-fuck me..push your tongue inside of me, sweet boy…” you began to repeat your plea with desperation.

Your vulgar descriptions of activities and the pet names was only adding to Steve's maxed out lust. You were so fierce and exploring compared to him, given that you come from a society where that is more socially acceptable.

And Steve loved it. He felt confident with your praises and with your guidance. He wasn’t as scared as he thought he would be when experimenting with sexual activities such as this. He felt comfortable.

His fingers parted your folds carefully before his tongue dived into your quivering heat. You wither as Steve's tongue laves at your cunt, pushing the warm, wet muscle of his tongue into your tight core.

“Aaah! Such a good boy…oh fuck, Steve!” You fisted his hair, pushing his head closer as you began to grind against his face, and Steve happily accepted it. He was close himself, uncontrollably rolling his hips against the mattress as he pleasured you.

You whimper when Steve's finger finds your g-spot, and by your physical reaction he continues to thrust his finger at the same angle, seeing you fall apart in front of him.

"Holy shit, I'm cumming, Steve!!" You howled, quickly shoving your pillow over your face as you came, your orgasm hitting you like a wave. Steve drank you up as he hummed against your core, letting out a long-drawn moan of his own before he came in his pants. He panted against you, his hips coming to a halt as he looked up, his hair almost in the way of his eyes due to how messy you had made it.

“D-Did I do good, ma’am?” He asked, dazed, but desperate to know the answer.

You let out a breathless laugh before raising your head, “You did more than good,” you praised him as you cupped his cheeks and brought him forward for a heated kiss. He was in awe, and with his slacked jaw you slipped your tongue into his mouth, going in for another but shorter make out session. “You were perfect.” You specified further, making him squirm at the praise.

He had a praise kink alright, you thought.

As he rose up, you noticed the huge wet patch on his trouser with its sticky texture that had come on the sheets.

“Aw, did you cum?" You cooed the question. "What a mess you made…”

“Well, can you blame me?…” Steve spoke shyly, lowering his gaze out of embarrassment. “How could I not get aroused when you’re in front of me, naked, - especially after having a taste of your flower. It was beyond intoxicating..”

You chuckled, bringing Steve in to rest his head on your stomach with his arms wrapping around you as there was no pillow for him to use. You couldn’t help but snort after some silence, causing Steve to look up with curiosity as to what you found so funny.

“Why do you call pussy ‘flower’, Steve? I’ve never heard that one before.” You asked him, sharing the thought that you found amusing.

Steve looked away, turning sheepish again but he was more than willing to explain as there was a reason behind it. “Um…you see, my mother used to call female genitalia that to not ruin my innocence. I was 9 when I asked about what makes girls and boys different, and she told me girls have flowers that bloom and boys have tools that…turn more functional I guess? She never went down the details because she knew I would learn eventually. But since then, I’ve always called it that, - but it’s not like I talk about female genitalia often. Bucky mocks me all the time and corrects me by calling it a 'cunt’…but I’ve never liked that word. It sounds too crass for me…it just doesn’t sound nice. Female genitalia deserves to be called something more respectable I think,...- something pretty.” He said.

You hummed contently, “Mm, I like that a lot. Don’t stop calling my pussy a flower.” You grinned, slipping out a chuckle but it was out of adoration, not mockery. He turned to look at you, surprised with your response but glad you found it endearing.

“You know, I could never talk about this to any other woman. Somehow, you make me feel comfortable talking about anything..it just feels so natural to blurt things out to you without a second thought.” Steve shared, tightening his grip around you, and you smiled, putting your hand on his hair to play with it.

With a pleased expression, you responded with “I feel the same.”

You laid quiet for a while, until you felt Steve's weight leave you as he rose up, “I suppose I should leave to my room then…before it gets late and people start swarming in the hallway. Least I’d want is to be caught fooling around when I’m in service.” Steve reasoned, but he was making that face, as though the idea of having to leave was upsetting him a little.

“Or…” you trailed with another option in mind. “- you could just stay here with me. We can sleep together...unless you have other work to do?”

Steve’s eyes widened with surprise of your proposal, “…Um, yes, - I mean no! I don’t have more work for tonight…and uh, only if you don’t mind,..yes, I’d love to sleep with you…in your bed. - With you..”

You laughed, pulling him back in and having him beside you this time as you pulled the covers over the two of you.

You cupped his cheek, kissing his forehead which made him have to hold back a wide grin while you still chuckled.

“You’re such a big dork, Steve.”

The sun barely lit up through the closed blinds, but the commotion going around outside was loud enough to wake you up. Your eyes flickered open, and you saw Steve, already awake with his upper body risen against the headboard.

"Morning, doll..." Steve greeted you, then turned back to his sketch book he had in front of him. You greeted him back through a yawn.

“Wow, what a pretty drawing…” you murmured with your morning voice, holding an arm around Steve as you saw him adding shade.

It was a sketched portrait of you in your sleep. You could assume he had been up a while with how far he was with the drawing process.

He smiled, “The beauty comes from the motive beside me, doll..”

“Ha! You didn’t include all my flaws in the piece, that’s why.” You joked a little with your insecurities.

“What flaws?” He asked, turning to you confused, and you laughed, thinking he was trying to be smug. “No seriously, tell me what I’m missing cause I’m pretty sure I added every single detail…”

You shrugged as you pulled some hair strands away from your face. “I don’t look that pretty when I’m sleeping. My hair is usually messier and I’ve been told I sometimes drool in my sleep, which..- yep, I’m spotting a wet patch on your shirt...” you sighed. “Sorry about that…”

“It’s okay, I think it’s kind of cute actually…” Steve spoke softly. “And your mouth was shut when I started drawing, but adding a little drool could bring more life to the drawing.”

“Don’t add it, it’s fine.” You said, slapping his hand away playfully from having him do any changes.

He put his sketch book down and turned his body to you while rubbing his eye. “Gosh, I can’t believe you had me staying in your bed. I’m surprised we managed to sleep with the little space we have.”

“We were close enough to make it comfortable.” You said with a smirk.

He hummed as he started to think. “I feel like…I’ve known you my whole life, yet I don’t know a lot about you apart from things involving future me.” He said, guilt featuring in his face.

He raised his upper body up again as a sudden realization dawned upon him. “Where are my manners, I haven’t even asked you out for dinner, a-and we’ve been so intimate already…we’ve touched and….’tasted' each other’s genitals without going on a first date. - essentially I’m an awful man.”

You pulled him to lay back again and had his face in the palm of your hands, making him look at you as you spoke up, “Hey, don’t say that. It’s not a big deal for me. Well, it would still be nice to go out but you don’t have to worry about giving into your sexual cravings with me. I was the one to engage in oral sex with you first time around and what you did to me yesterday was so wonderful too…” you reassured tenderly. “You’re such a sweet man, Steve. You were such a gentleman, putting my pleasure first before you came yourself. I adore you. I really do...” your tone became more whispery with each sentence as you closed in to Steve’s lips, stroking his bicep with comfort.

He looked into your eyes through his lashes, then at your lips, hoping you will reward him with a kiss. With the way you were closing in, he knew he was getting what he wanted so much.

“I adore you too, doll…” he said, a second before you put his lips onto his.

It lasted moments until you decided it was enough to keep you non affectionate for the rest of the day as anything different wouldn’t be ideal at all. Steve was very busy that day and the week onward, but he kept his promise of taking you out when they set him free on one of the weekends. Through the lunches and dinners Steve took you out to, you had been able to connect better through temporarily leaving behind the elephant in the room. Since you were in public, you focused on getting to know each other without putting anything out there about your time travel business and future predictions. You were getting better settled into the environment in the process, and with Steve it was easy to feel like you belonged.

Steve asked you about your hobbies and interests, where and how you were raised, and about your accomplishments and failures. He seemed genuinely interested about learning everything there is to learn about you, his back hunched with his elbows on the table as he tuned in to listen about your life. It was nice how little he made it about himself, though you couldn't help but feel bad that he couldn't tell much about himself without you already knowing it. So instead, you asked him personal questions, - things the Steve from your timeline probably had forgotten to mention as it was far in the past.

After all, you had only recently learned Steve liked to draw and was a self thought artist, - a very talented one at that. Surely there was more to know about the Steve in front of you.

"Tell me...about your biggest fear, Steve. What makes you scared the most?" You asked. The question had put him on the spot, but you were curious.

After the blip and Steve had claimed you as his girlfriend, you had asked this question to him once. You had been restless like the rest of the world, wondering how you could move onward after something so catastrophic. You had a hard time finding your place in the new ordered world, and with that you developed new fears. Did a hero like Steve also have similar fears? Steve hadn't really answered that question when asked, only muttering something along the lines of 'I don't know...no possible fear of mine can top what has happened anyway.'

"That's an interesting question." Steve started, "Uh, I suppose...being useless is my biggest fear. Me being gifted with the super soldier serum in hopes of bringing justice to the world has made me think of what other importance I would have once justice is served. I want to be of good use, but what more use do I have once the world is all good?"

You gave it a thought for a moment, reaching out to hold his hand as you held your gaze, "Steve...you want the world to be a good place, right?"

Steve nodded without hesitation, returning the grip affectionately, "Of course I do. I know it might sound like I don't with what I just said but...well, it's hard putting words to how I feel without sounding a little selfish.."

You hummed, smiling reassuringly. "That's fine, I understand. Realistically speaking, the world will never be such anyway. With rising good also rises evil. There's no stopping it no matter how much we endorse good, so you don't have to worry about ending up as only a mere symbol of justice. There will always be work to do all over the world." You said. "And even if major threats such as HYDRA don't rise up again, you being there for people and giving them a reason to keep fighting will serve a purpose in itself. No one is ever useless if they contribute keeping peace around the world."

Steve smiled, looking down at your hands as he intertwined his fingertips in yours. "You're right. I think...I'm letting my insecurities get the better of me, but hearing something so reasonable helps a lot. Hearing that from you especially is...reassuring, for reasons I shall not mention in public." He said, suppressing a grin as he looked behind him cautiously.

You shook your head in midst of laughing. Steve was full of humor despite an ongoing war happening. He has made you laugh in numerous occasions and you haven't been together for that long. You really, really liked him, you had realized, - 'like' was perhaps an understatement.

The following weeks consisted of a routine of which you quickly got used to. Through most of the day you would observe what the Howling Commandos were up to, hanging around Steve's arm when you were allowed to invade space.

Thankfully you hadn't run into Peggy as she had her own separate schedule to follow. It wasn't like you were scared of bumping into her, but you couldn't handle an awkward conversation with that woman, where it would break down to the fact that you were the reasoning for Steve 'friend-zoning' her.

A wicked part of you took pride of reclaiming Steve's attention from Peggy, but you knew it wasn't Peggy who you should be mad at for what Steve from your timeline did. He chose to go back to her, and she was long dead when he made that decision. There was no way you were going to make enemies with her, - it would be too pitiful of you.

You stayed another two weeks in Delaware base, Steve and his soldiers following through their routines before you set course to Houston military base Texas, taking 3 days to get to by train. The beginning of December welcomed you in your arrival, and there you were to prepare for your transportation to Europe where the Howling Commandos would continue their mission of putting down the remaining HYDRA bases, as well as taking HYDRA down all together.

Dr Zola and Johann Schmidt - otherwise known as the Red Skull were still out there somewhere, and there was no doubt that the HYDRA ideology would be kept alive if they were left loose.

You knew that for a fact that it would anyway, knowing Dr Zola would make his way through S.H.I.E.L.D and contribute in compromising the agency.

When you were alone, you kept yourself occupied with Genesis, reading through upcoming events. While most events were insignificant, there was a particular event that had caught your eye, making your blood turn cold.

January 4th, 1945. - James Buchanan Barnes presumed death by accident mid-mission of capturing Dr Zola.

Oh no...

This was one of the biggest life changing events of Steve's life and it was approaching within weeks.

You tried not to let it haunt you too much. There was still time to consider how you were to interfere in that situation, - if you were to interfere at all. You didn't want to worry Steve either, especially when Christmas was around the corner.

The Christmas celebration was simple, yet so lively because of the soldiers. You could spot cheap, - clumsily put together Christmas decorations everywhere around the base, but it had its own charm. The real Christmas spirit came from the people you were surrounded with. You made small talk with the members of the Howling Commandos, - members such as Dum Dum who you knew was a well respected man among them. He was keen on having you share about your relationship with 'The Captain', but you only responded like a smartass, giving away little input about it. He was halfway drunk and didn't seem to mind though, - only finding you entertaining.

As you gained more attention from the members, Steve saved you by pulling you away, asking you, "May I dance with you, miss?"

You smirked, "Can you even dance, Captain?"

"If you take the lead, I might get the hang of it." Steve answered cockily, his confidence sparked from the 6 glasses of whiskey he drank. While alcohol barely affected his soberness, it sure made him feel lighter from his usual nervousness.

You found yourselves matching to the rhythm of the music being played by the musicians on stage, - classical Christmas carols being played on repeat. While it wasn't perfect dancing and unorthodox of you to take the lead as a woman, you enjoyed yourselves, occasionally laughing at how silly you were being. It wasn't like you were the only ones being silly, - half of the people dancing were drunk and making a fool of themselves too. It was all harmless fun.

No gifts were exchanged, but the free turkey serving made up for a pleasant Christmas celebration at a military base. After a couple of shots, your drunk self grew sleepy and Steve being the gentleman he is brought you back safely to your room.

Of course you didn't let him leave you too easily as your arms clung to him, begging him to stay. He couldn't resist you even if he tried.

The day after came and you were leaving for Europe. While dealing with your day after hangover, you made sure you had everything with you, most importantly Genesis and the suitcase which had the Stark industries logo removed by you for some time. Steve had you close to him, from when you first packed your stuff till boarding of the aircraft. He was also with you for the duration of the whole flight, sitting beside you and only turning to Bucky a few times who sat behind you for short conversations.

You didn't miss the exchanged smirks between the two men, making you internally laugh at how boyish they were being. It was the equivalent of two high school girls being excited for the other over a text from a crush. You decided to be bold and lean your head on Steve's shoulder, pretending you were going to take a nap. The sound of someone choking on their spit came from behind and you snorted, something that went unnoticed by Steve as he tried not to turn red again.

Snickers and chuckles from the soldiers sitting aisles back became background noise of the loud turboprop sound, and Steve couldn't do much other than bear it for the sake of you 'resting'.

The time of the long flight passed quicker than you anticipated, and you now found yourselves in northern Italy, in the very same country where the Howling Commandos made their first print.

People were held busy as, according to Steve, this area had been reclaimed from HYDRA only months ago, and now they were enforcing the place to make sure it stays that way.

Steve led you to a huge tent, which was personally set up to accommodate members of the Howling Commandos. That left less privacy than previously, but it wasn't like you and Steve had plans to go about your sexual conquests around this time. For the two of you, it only meant you had to go elsewhere to talk, to prevent slipping out confidential information.

That was why when everything was dropped by your designated bunker beds, Steve led you to a nearby abandoned church, which was only down a trail of the military base. While there was no power when you stepped inside, there were candles lighten up by the huge icons which gave the place a cozy vibe to it. Steve walked over and lit a candle himself, placing it carefully by the others before he sat beside you at the bench furthest back and pulled up his sketch book to draw. You watched as he started drawing a few lines while talking about all kinds of things, such as how it was for him to be here first time around when he was on U.S.O tour but then took the turn of rescuing soldiers and destroying the first HYDRA base; the foundation of him becoming the hero, - Captain America.

He had a smile plastered on his face as he talked passionately about how it was to finally be of use and rescue the soldiers, which also founded the Howling Commandos. How he was thankful for being able to save his best friend from whatever HYDRA was going to do with him.

Oh that's right...Bucky received HYDRA's mild super soldier serum at the HYDRA base in Anzano... Did Steve not know this now? You began to wonder. Seems like he didn't.

You moved the conversation forward before you considered speaking up about that, and a sudden question popped in your mind.

"Where has Peggy been all this time?"

"She's been around when we were in Delaware and Houston, though I believe she's in New York now, with Harold Stark. We had claimed HYDRA technology last time we were here and it was taken back to America for inspection." Steve shared the information he had on top of his head. "Why do you ask?"

You shrugged, "I don't know, I guess I'm surprised I haven't bumped into her once...she wasn't with us at the Christmas gathering."

"She was there." Steve clarified, which made you stiffen. "I suppose you didn't notice her. She only came by to wish us a merry Christmas before she went on her way."

"Does she know who I am? That it's me you're mingling with?"

"She hasn't asked after your name or any of that, but I can only guess she knows it's you since you're the only other woman here doing active service...she knows I'm not getting myself out there so she might put two and two together.." He closed his sketch book just then, putting it aside as he gave you full attention. "Why so curious about her all of a sudden?"

"No particular reason...I've been mentally preparing myself for the moment we inevitably meet each other, and I'm just surprised it has lasted so long without it ever coming." You explained.

Steve chuckled at that, pulling you into his embrace as he gave the top of your head a kiss. "She's not going to bite your head off if that's what you're worried about...if anything I imagine you two getting along well. You're both strong, highly intelligent women, it would only be natural."

You huffed and rolled your eyes, "I'm not scared of her. It's just weird you know...to be within reach of the woman I envied for two years because I learned she has something I don't have..."

"Hm.." Steve hummed quietly. His face turned sad when he realized what the meaning behind your statement was. "I'm not going to judge you if you feel...'uncertain' about yourself...but there's nothing Peggy has of her character and appearance that is superior to your own." Steve assured while stroking your back. "I have been thinking about it a lot about your situation and...I may have worked up a theory based on some logic, if I can call it that...I think the reason Steve from the future left was because the lack of belonging and familiarity, as well as him thinking too much about what he had potentially missed out on...he didn't have anyone tell him what he had to prepare himself for. That there would be a matter of time-traveling to the future. That is what makes our situation so different. I know some of the basics of what will happen and to be honest...I don't feel worried about it as much as I probably should be...knowing that I'll meet you and keep being of service, and getting to see the advanced world is...exciting? It's hard to put words on it really."

"I'll agree that is the most logical reason so far...but the more I'm with you, the less am I looking for an explanation. He left and...there's that...." Your face lit up when you processed what he had said last, and you tilted your head to meet his eyes. "Do you really mean that though? You'd be excited to meet me in the future?"

"Of course, doll..." Steve confirmed softly, "If I do appear in the future, we can at least continue our relationship from there. Maybe I'll cheat with my knowledge and meet you a few years earlier, so we can hit it off together with a head start. You can show me around, help me get settled, just like I've helped you settle here. It'll all be the same, just switched up circumstances. That sounds nice, doesn't it?"

""...I appreciate you sharing that with me, Steve. But I hope you realize, it most likely won't be me you're meeting."

Steve frowned, although he was a little zoned out and the sentence hadn't fully registered in his mind, so he asked, "What do you mean?"

You decided to stand up from the bench just then, dismissively shaking head, "It's...I'll explain it another time...It's getting late don't you think? We should rest." You suggested with a tight smile.

"I mean, we had a long flight, sure but...it's only 06:30 PM?"

You became silent, only letting out a sigh as if you had held your breath a little too much during the whole conversation. Steve grew worried, and so he stood up himself to come over to you and touched your shoulder.

"Doll, what's going on? You have been acting...kind of strange, - more like different the past week. As if something is bugging you." Steve spoke observingly. "Is everything alright?"

"Steve, I..." You started as you swallowed a lump down your throat. "I checked up with Genesis about upcoming events and...something bad is going to happen soon.."

N/A One more chapter and an epilogue to go! The stakes are getting higher. >>

Feedback and reblogs are very appreciated to help me complete this story! Thank you for reading! <3

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