#i'll climb off my soapbox now
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cassafrasscr · 9 months ago
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Because I'm having a bad fucking chronic pain day, and feeling some type of way about it, I'm gonna rant more about Ashton.
Can we talk about how Ashton talks about their pain? Or rather, how he doesn't?
I think Ashton's actually mentioned actively being in pain, like... 3 times in the 86 episodes they've filmed so far? The first time that I can remember is during/immediately after Imogen and FCG delved into their mind and actually experienced what it's like to live in their body.
The second time was in the second episode of the Issylra arc, when the group is packing up to move towards Hearthdell, and Ashton mentions off-hand that he was in pain the night before.
And then the third time was e86. When Ashton collapses after dropping his Titan form, and Orym asks if they're okay, Ashton’s response is along the lines of "I'm fine, it just hurts."
You know what Ashton says a lot more often?
I'm so tired. I'm exhausted. We should really take a rest first. Can we please take a fucking rest now?
It seems subtle at first, but as someone who has chronic pain it hits hard. 'Cause most of the time that's exactly what I say.
Because when you're in pain all the time, the healthy/abled/non-chronic-pain-havers around you don't want to hear about it. It makes them uncomfortable.
Being in constant pain and giving voice to it makes you a whiner. A complainer. A wuss. A flake.
Have you tried yoga? Or drinking more water? Or the current fad diet?
So instead, you learn to allude to it in ways that won’t make the ableds uncomfortable. For me, a lot of the time, that takes the form of:
"I'm just really tired."
So, seeing Ashton pushing themself well past their limits to keep up with their friends and doing what the other Hells want - only to end up completely nerfing themself with 2 points of exhaustion... hits very close to home. Especially seeing most of their friends completely disregard their pain until they couldn't anymore.
Orym is really the only one who consistently shows any consideration for their chronic pain - and the boundaries and limitations that go with it. I only had a handful of friends like that when I was younger, and I treasured every single one of them.
As the kid who always got left behind to walk with a chaperone on field trips because I couldn't keep up with the other kids... it brings back a lot of that frustration and hurt to see it playing out like this for Ashton, but also validates it in a way I'm profoundly grateful for.
Anyway. That's all I have to say about that at the moment. I'll climb down off my soapbox now.
(Really slowly though, 'cause my knees are fucking killing me.)
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megamindsecretlair · 11 months ago
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WIP Wednesday
Thank you for the tag @nerdieforpedro 🥳
I'm not sure if anyone's that vested in my upcoming stuff but I love hearing about what's on tap from you and my writing moots so I'll keep the updates coming 🤸🏽‍♀️
There is a lovely WIP game I responded to a few days ago that you can find here. In case ya missed it and wanna see 15 titles I'm working on.
So far, I know I need to update all my series 🤣 I have not lost any love for Loki, Sam, or Vampire Tyrone. But I must obey the muses and the squirrel brain. They play tug of war with me and ya girl is tiredt 👏🏽 and right now, all it wants is to be wined and dined by Tre from Candy Cane Lane. That is a man 👏🏽👏🏽
Do expect some new blorbos 😻😻 I finished Rap Sh!t thanks to an anon and I NEEEED RJ Cyler in my life. Also the guy who played Lord AK. I loved his vibe and I think we need more Black alternative men to lust over. We have Hobie and we need MOOOREE. Also Kevin Atwater chuz when I tell yall the thirst is real 🥹 and fuck it, we going after the JJK mens as well.
I know I have some requests to get to. Dont hate me yall. Sometimes a story plum dont speak to me as quickly as others. And I been slack a lackin' on Franklin fics. I feel like I abandoned my baby 🥺 I aint mean to. S6 just really pissed me off. Dont make me climb on my soapbox why. We'll be here all night 🤣
I have 2 requests for Incubus Tyrone. Which, WHAT. Yall 🥹🥹 thank you so much for loving that story! I will get to him, I promise. But there's also a mob boss Tyrone on the way 😈😈
If you've read this far, I love you. I love your support. Even if its silent. Even if its spam liking. Even if we've never exhanged words a day in our lives. I love you. And may both sides of your pillow stay cold. May your beverage of choice stay the perfect temperature. May you always find an extra $5 when you need it.
Nerdie, you tagged my usual suspects 🤣 so anyones free to join in.
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theidiotwhowritesthings · 2 years ago
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Ok- I’m dying to hear your thoughts on the latest episode of the mandalorian!! Also, any updates on “A Fresh Start?”
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Oh boy oh boy OH BOY. I have been sitting here waiting, JUST WAITING, for someone to ask me my opinion. Oh shit oh shit. Okay I’m vibrating in excitement. alrighty here we go I’m gonna climb up on my soapbox if you don’t want spoilers (or to hear my many opinions) then turn away now my friends. i'm also gonna talk about so much more than just this last episode i'm sorry in advance.
SEASON 3 HAS BEEN THE WEIRDEST FUCKING THING.
From the get go, i have been scratching my head in confusion. as a (somewhat okay) writer i can usually pick up on themes and plots fairly quickly. but the pacing of this story has been so off? with the way we started i thought the main plot would be din trying to find redemption (and maybe learning that internally he doesn't need a physical redemption of bathing in some ornamental body of water b/c he's more than that), and I WAS SO PSYCHED. Then, we fucking accomplished that by like episode 2??? what?? and since that episode, i have been struggling to figure out what the overarching plot and theme was? yes, the other seasons have episodes of din and grogu bounty hunting or doing random shit but it was to further their main goal.
they also put a lot of emphasis on this fucking darksaber to do nothing with it. and i get. the argument is "din never even wanted the sword so of course he gave it away it's stupid for people to think he wanted it". I KNOW HE DIDN'T WANT IT. but that's kind of the point? they set it up, with him being forced to carry it but not being able to use it well because the 'weight' of responsibility and power it carried. then the armorer trained him for 2.5 seconds and told him he needed to overcome internal obstacles to use it. So essentially, they set up the perfect story line of a reluctant bounty hunting learning he has the ability to be more. Then at that point, if he learned the theme and was able to use the blade well i could see him passing it on then and being like "i realize that i have the ability to be this leader, but i also realize my heart is not in it like others and what i truly want is to just be grogu's father and settle." Basically, my beef isn't that they gave the darksaber away, my beef is that they set up this huge theme and story line just to be like 'psych bitches'.
NOW. BO KATAN. Here's the thing, y'all, i know very little about star wars. like a stupid little. I saw the movies like AGES AGO, but when the mandalorian started i could not pick obi wan kenobi out of a line up and i had to ask my brother repeatedly if the empire was the good guys or bad guys. So, watching the mandalorian and seeing this character walking around saying shit like "does this look jedi to you?" was great b/c din djarin was just as clueless as i was. [I went off on a tangent here and i breifly forgot my point, but here it is]--
BO KATAN. I know nothing beyond what this show had offered me, and from that I like her. I have no beef with her. In season 2, i thought she was an interesting foil to Din Djarin. This leader who is struggling to get people to follow her with a nonchalance on this creed thing vs a man who by all means should be a loner but everyone and their cousin is just drawn to and they want to follow him.
Going into S3, Bo Katan felt different? And not in a "oooh look at all that character growth" kind of way, more like in a "y'all skipped a few steps here" kind of way. I won't go more in depth on this otherwise I'll be here all day. But overall, despite the flaws i think they made with her, i'm okay with her and din being buddies and her learning that din isn't some faceless, mindless drone dedicated to a creed and coming to respect him. I like that friendship. Honestly, i get more sibling vibes from them than anything else (you cannot tell me bo katan and the armorer didn't have chemisty. the "take your helmet off" scene? pls).
BUT I AM SAYING THIS RIGHT NOW, I HAVE THIS TERRIBLE GOD AWFUL FEELING THAT NEXT WEEK THEY ARE GOING TO CONFIRM BO KATAN AND DIN DJARIN AS A ROMANTIC COUPLE AND I DON'T LOVE IT.
it just feels like they're shoe horning in a romance for the sake of having a romance and i don't get why? i would watch 12 seasons of din being a tired, single father taking care of his menace to society gremlin child.
As for chapter 23, i didn't hate the episode. it had some good bits. Grogu in the IG-12 suit is the greatest thing I've ever seen. As heart breaking as it was watching Din get manhandled to the ground by Imperials, i'm a slut for angst and god that was some good angst i can't deny that. i was so sure that gideon was going to rip off din's helmet right then and there and i was SCREAMING at my television i was so horrified and heartbroken. i think all that happened was we hit pause on that devastation tho b/c i'm guessing chapter 24 we're gonna see Din Djarin's face and as much as I wanna see his face I DIDN'T WANT IT TO BE IN THIS WAY. NOT LIKE THIS. I HATE IT.
Side note, here's my theory for the next episode (it's what i think is going to happen and i won't be happy with it): din gets his helmet taken off, it's devastating, bo katan saves him (fucking again), he's helmetless, him and bo katan share a moment and they share that bottle of wine that karga gave him and told him to use in a smaller setting, then they maybe kiss. or confess romantic affection. i think that's the game plan and i hate it.
If I was optimistic, I would love if Bo Katan betrayed him. They won't do it, they haven't set it up well enough and i have no faith in them, but imagine if this entire time Bo Katan has been playing Din and his covert in order to get her hands on the darksaber b/c she knew doesn't trust she'd be able to win against him in combat. how delicious would that be?
One last thing, as I think about it, i think they nerfed Din this season. In S1 and S2, I have a list of badass moments where Din kicked ass, but this season? Maybe one or two moments? And, I think it happened b/c they fell into that age old trap of "we want our female main character to looks so badass so obviously the only way we can do that is by making the male character look less so". Which is so silly. I am all for a strong, badass female MC. But she should be able to stand on her own and be seen as amazing without a guy to overshadow. it just really bothers me that Din has needed Bo Katan to save him so many times this season.
Okay, I'll stop now. I need to stop now. Oof. I went off the rails i'm sorry lol.
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writerrelapse · 2 years ago
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Happy Storyteller Saturday! I know you're a big researcher. What is your research process like? xoxo
OH BOY uh. To be honest I think it's sometimes a crutch, but if I'm going to write about things--even mythology--I think it's important to understand it in context of the culture to prevent (1) Looking like an idiot and (2) Being an offensive, insensitive dick, even if you're not necessarily replicating harm against a culture that might no longer exist in the modern sense.
I try my best to look for subject matter experts from that particular area of the world. Youtube can be a good place to start. Colleges often post lectures on there you can watch for free. Definitely check the source's credentials and understand their stake and stance and whether or not they approach the subject fairly and with empathy and, possibly, what their unconscious biases might be.
Unless it's the last source in the world, I'm not going to be listening to a straight white christian man talk about, say, LGBTQ representation in African mythology without a dumptruck of salt.
I'll forever remember Nanette (hallowed be her name), holding up the textbook our first art history class used, announcing, "Remember: this was written by dead christian white guys."
That said, find a lot of sources, both ancient and modern. Be able to think critically about what you're reading. Go directly to the source if you can. If it's being translated from another language, read multiple translations.
With regards to writing, it depends on how strong an idea I have is. If I have just a twinkling of an idea but nothing solid yet, I might deep dive into research for inspo. If my idea is already pretty stable, I'll try and do really targeted research in spurts while balancing putting words down.
...Thanks for coming to my TEDtalk. Climbing off the soapbox now.
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baliins · 3 years ago
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ok I'll bite, this is your invitation to talk about ingwe if you want!
omg so ingwe is my man my buddy my ride or die u know....im just a huge fan of him and i wish tolkien wrote more on him bc u can't just pepper in the fact that he is the high king of the eldar like THE high king and never expand on that. so allow me to climb onto my little soapbox and talk about some general headcanons for ingwe 📢
first of all - in my pov - he's like massively tall. like he's not thingol tall bc his old buddy in the forest is like a tree. but he's definitely taller than maedhros. not by heaps because nelyo isn't called maedhros the tall for nothing. but ingwe is abt just 7'8 (bc i think thingol is 8 foot and maedhros is 7'6). ingwe never tells finwe but he's worried that his eldest grandson might grow taller than him but luckily that never happens. thank god.
then even if its up to interpretation for everyone, i like to think of him as having a light skin tone and very blue eyes but veering towards dark blue. he's def a blondie, he has that pretty vanyar colour that seems to be almost golden but paler strands are caught in the light. it's wavy and thick too!!
ALTHOUGH even tho most elves treasure long hair and like to keep it long (and especially, the vanyar - they are so picky abt appearances), ingwe's hair stops just after his shoulders. and courtiers are always like 'why doesnt he grow his hair out 🤨' and ingwe is like sorry i cant hear u.
he always kept his hair shorter since the days when he was in middle earth, and living a far more treacherous life before coming to valinor. it was practical for him and he felt more comfortable with it being out of his face. or he goes around with a half up/half down hairstyle and no one has the audacity to tell their high king that he should have long hair. like its ingwe, what can ya do?
my main hc for his personality is that even though he presides over arguably the most gilded/golden eldar, he's not a fan of being ostentatious and showy. he's not the flamboyant sort.
i kinda hc all the three high kings of valinor to be like that. ingwe, finwe and olwe both came to valinor from middle earth in the early days of the eldar. they made that treacherous journey and i feel like they were a bit more 'savage' in those days. so even though, they are far more comfortable now - they never really forget what it was like being hunted by foul creatures and seeing their people being captured by melkor.
ingwe used to be a hunter. when the elves first awoke, they had their own 'tribes' of a sort with a chieftan (the vanyar were lead by ingwe's grandfather - imin). they banded together, hunted for furs and used spears. they had such close tight-knit loyalty and they really did live off the lands of arda.
he was furious when melkor was released. like don't get me wrong he respects the valar a lot. and he's pretty devout towards them too. but ingwe couldn't understand why the valar let melkor walk among the eldar and the blessed lands after the horrors that he had seen, as had some of the older elves. he still has a scar from a gruesome beast in middle earth but the scar is tucked underneath fine fabrics and robes on his collar.
he prob gets nightmares a lot too :( i mean it would definitely have a lasting effect of the horrors he has seen. he doesn't sleep very often, he prefers to stay awake and he often sits on his balcony and just gazes towards taniquetil.
but hes v friendly!! he has this easy going charm and he seems pretty cheerful. elves are shocked at how loosely relaxed the high king is, they expect a stuffy king who loves proper manner and decorum. but ingwe is chill yknow.
like he dotes on his niece, indis, as well as her sons like finarfin. he likes fingolfin a good amount, he often remarks that fingolfin reminds him of finwe and he loves telling stories abt finwe's youth to fingolfin - much to finwe's chagrin.
he doesn't know what to think abt feanor. he doesn't want to dislike him but he finds feanor just strange. ingwe knew miriel since they were both very young and he sees that fierce glint that she had in feanor's eyes. but feanor's eyes burn differently and ingwe doesn't tell finwe that he worries abt his friend's eldest son. later, when feanor is clutching finwe's broken scalp on the floor after the darkening, and when the teleri are massacred in their home, ingwe feels sick to his stomach and wanders if it was his fault.
finarfin loves him. finrod by extent.
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he sometimes feels like a fraud. (little self promo i wrote abt him hehe) he sits in halls of towering columns and gold on the floor. he eats at tables laden with confection and fine meats. he dresses in fine ermine and has a golden crown on his head. he just feels like he's playing a part of a king - and at heart, he's a warrior who belongs in the dark forests of middle earth.
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dreamingdarklyblog · 1 year ago
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Just to clear up any confusion/misconceptions, I'll give you an abridged version of my afternoon.
I had a LOT of fun with my writing partner. But not going to talk about that right now. But started to feel odd as we were winding down. Heart was absolutely pounding. I attributed that to all the fun I'd been having.
Turns out my pharmacist made a mistake and hadn't informed me that a new medication I started Wednesday night was BIG no no with a medication I was already on. So when I took the old one at lunch, this caused my blood pressure to first climb dangerously high, and then crash. I was driving when it crashed.
Thankfully I didn't pass out, but my judgement was probably a bit impaired, and I misjudged the distance to another car when trying to park. I brushed a parked car (no structural damage to either car, I barely nicked it, but there were large visible scratches on mine, and tiny, barely visible ones on the other one)
I spent an hour trying to find the driver to apologize, but I was feeling Very poorly, still not sure why, and eventually gave up and left a note. I looked up the medication I had just started and discovered the very clearly marked conflict (thanks three different doctors who's hands this new medication change passed through for not saying anything) which said to contact your doctor immediately.
I did, but of course he couldn't see me till today, and the office told me to head to the emergency room =/. So I spent a while there (for anyone telling you Canadian health care sucks, I'm not going to pretend it's perfect, but it took about five minutes to hit triage, a half hour to get in to assessment, and another half hour till a doctor had seen me and cleared me to go home. And of course, there's no bill, all covered by taxes, which totals to a fraction of what Americans pay. *climbs off soapbox*)
Doctor said I should be fine, any danger should be over already, I just needed to let the meds clear my system and take it easy for the rest of the day.
On getting home I heard from the car's owner, who insisted on going through insurance ( I won't get into Canadian car insurance, it's complicated and very different from the US, which is what most of you are familiar with I think, it's also very different even province to province... So yeah.). Oh and did I mention it was a brand new Mercedes I hit? Yeah.
So today I need to get in touch with the insurance company and find out what that means. Worst case scenario (what I remember from the last time I checked it, when I was a teenager) I'm out a SHIT TON of money, because I lose my safe driver discount due to being at fault in an accident. Best case scenario (which I'm tentatively hopeful about, but the company has restructured how it works three times in ten years and I can't find reliable information) I'm out the deductible, and dropped down a few tiers in the discount system, eating away at a safety buffer but not actually increasing my insurance premiums.
So wish me luck =/
Taking a day off
I had a spectacularly bad afternoon. Nothing to do with this blog or kinky hypno play. All real life stuff. Taking the day off to process and try to put out fires.
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vulcanfreckles · 12 years ago
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BRAS BRAS BRAS
GUYS.
I am SO excited.
I've spent the last week furiously reading EVERYTHING about bras I can get my hands on, because like everybody else I've heard the made-up statistic "80% of women are wearing the wrong bra size!" and I've just been kind of ignoring it. I was stuck on the idea that my boobs were a B cup and nothing was gonna change my mind because I was RIGHT, dammit.
Well, after watching a lot of youtube videos and reading a LOT of bra blogs and reddit threads and PSAs on boobs, I went to the mall and bought five gorgeous, well-fitting bras.
My size I was wearing before? 34B. I knew my bras didn't fit right, but I didn't know why, and I thought my body was just weird and wouldn't fit right into bras (this is, happily, NOT the case, even with my distended sternum issues).
The size of the comfortable, beautiful bras I just bought? 32DD.
(And no, nobody would ever classify me as a "double-D" cup size just by looking at me. I have a very modest chest).
I measured my mom and she went from a 36C to a 34DDD!
Moral of the story: get sized by a professional (NOT VICTORIA'S SECRET), and GO BUY BRAS THAT ACTUALLY FIT. STOP BELIEVING THE MYTH THAT ONLY GIANT-BOOBED WOMEN CAN FIT INTO Ds AND DDs. AND DDDs. AND ANYTHING ELSE. THEY'RE JUST LETTERS.
And if ANYBODY has questions or issues for me about their boobs and/or their bras, please, won't you drop me a message about it? I might just be able to help, with all my newfound knowledge :)
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