#i'll be working on the others too!!1
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❤️🖤🩷
Wuthering Waves has taken over all of my free time recently, so here's a sketch of Scar!Ren I originally shared in da 14DWY Discord!!
#14 days with you#to be tagged later#Sometimes a team is just Sephiroth; some random flower girl; and a dragoon from FFXIV#Like....... Look me in my eyes and tell me that one of Jiyan's abilities isn't just stardiver /silly#Anyways!! Sharing dis on my main only because it's just a sketch and doesn't feel ''official'' enough for da 14DWY blog#If I come back to this piece + retouch/put more effort into it maybe I'll reupload it there instead#But ya!! Any inconsistencies in Scar's outfit is because I was too busy staring at Taoqi <3#There was also absolutely no rhyme or reason as to why I drew Ren as Scar specifically too—#—Other than the fact that he WOULD rock da onigiri strip (RIP T_T) /ij /silly#Plus I was going to draw [REDACTED] as (WUWA SPOILERS AHEAD!!!!!!!) Geshu but?? Babes I don't think the timeline works out??#I really saw the marks in the same spot and was like “oh!! they're the same person :3” LIKE GIRL NO?? This is what happens when you skip cs#Geshu is still my number 1 next to Taoqi though (in terms of design) <3 I have a type teehee#Mayhaps I will draw [REDACTED] after all...... (It's currently 3pm and I'm nowhere near my tablet)#Also also!! A treat for those who've read this far: Day 3.5 will be made public very soon!! It's pride month n I wanna celebrate—#—With everyone's fave demi/pansexual enby (who sometimes does a bit of stalking) (as a treat) (he's a yandere)#Violet's birthday is also June 10!! Early birthday gift!! Yippeee!!#Ok I'll shuddup now <3
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Sienna had made herself irresistible, a vision of delight and desire all spun into one person. Realistically she should have thought about her boyfriend, she should have considered how he'd feel about her throwing herself at Rick but truthfully? It didn't matter. She couldn't resist him, there was a pull to him and who was she to deny the want. All her mind could focus on was that squeezing grip on her thigh, she had to take a sharp breath in because christ she needed the rough of his hands everywhere, pressing into her flesh, tainting her flesh to know what it needed. It wasn't featherlight, it was firm and assertive and she simply needed it, everywhere, all the time. A drug, that's what it felt akin to.
His mansion was shocking but she wanted him more than she wanted the luxury, sure that was a bonus but it wasn't where her desire lied, there wasn't any velvet or silk, nor diamonds and pearls that would have her focus more than he would. The envelope would be a nice touch, it wouldn't embarrass her, it'd feel discrete, professional in some way.
"Carrying me?" she giggled only to squeak in those light hearted giggles more when his arm wrapped around her to lift and carry her. "Aren't I heavy?!" far from it, she was pushing into his body, holding her arms around him like he'd drop her, he wouldn't, he'd not drop her, she had faith in that. Home. He said home and for once, that word felt correct, she did feel like she belonged here, near him. She pushed her head against his, forehead to forehead, lightly nuzzling herself against him and filling his scent with her, light florals and a deeper musk of jasmine.
Her hands were fumbling with his shirt and starting to reach for the buttons before he placed her down on his bed. She looked like a vision in silky satin, clinging to her curves. She reached for him as he lowered, her hands pushing into his hair and stealing breaths between the heat of their lips tangling together, her soft and utterly addictive lips. Her legs shimmied together in a wiggle to let him slide down her underwear, wondering briefly if he'd know how wet she truly was with those leather gloves on. Her head arched, her lips seeking out his, reaching and wanting and she wanted like she never had before, like she needed him close just to breath. Her breath however hitched audibly the moment she felt his gruff run against her folds. Her legs were resting over his shoulders, one leg moving up just enough to keep him there, right where she wanted him. This time her back arched, pushing her aching folds against his mouth with more firmness, her fingers finding and fisting the sheets beneath. The same hands let one release and reach down to push into his hair. "Oh gods.." she spoke breathlessly, a hint of a more elated and raised pitch, pleasure that was coursing through her body in waves. She hadn't been worshipped like this before and she was relaxing into it so easily. "Gods, please don't stop."
She was beautiful. So damn fucking beautiful that even her lightly ridiculous choice of amount didn’t do anything but making him chuckle. He would have paid a million to have her. He would have killed anyone that would have stood in their way or tried to keep her apart from him that night without hesitation, but that wasn’t something he mentioned. Only that amused chuckle left his lips before he leaned in and nuzzled with his nose against her ear so she could hear him whisper. “Anything. Anything you want, darling.”
Rick barely even noticed that they had stopped in front of his mansion already, his eyes still closed while inhaling that sweet scent of hers in her neck while his gloved hand slipped further up under her dress to squeeze the skin of her thighs in a desperate need. Sienna couldn’t know the rules he made up many years ago to never cross a line again, cause after saving so many women it shouldn’t have been surprising that some of them grew fond of him and if he let them come too close, they would only become attached in an unhealthy way. Boundaries were important and so he never touched a single woman again of the ones that lived in the quarters of his mansion reserved for them, only the escorts he usually saw once were allowed to have sex with him. But only once. No strings attached. Thinking about how this would be his only night with Sienna was heartbreaking, but why did he already consider to break his rules for her when he had only ever met her on this day?
Dixon stopped the car and stepped outside to open the door for them, but only as he mumbled that they’re there, Rick fell out of his trance and pulled away from Siennas neck to take her hand instead. “Come.” Rick got out first and murmured the amount of money she asked for into Dixons ear so he would prepare an envelope, but even he furrowed his brows in confusion cause he had never expected a girl like her to ask for so much and him to pay it. Luckily he wasn’t here to contradict and nodded, while Rick waited for Sienna to stand next to him, looking at the main entrance of his mansion. “Hold you. What about… carrying you?”
A smirk crossed his lips before he suddenly wrapped his arms around her to carry her, Dixons brow raising behind her back as he noticed where his boss was heading. No, Rick wouldn’t bring her to his usual open wing where business was made and guests could sleep, he right away headed to his private wing where the door opened by a simple scan of his eyes that allowed him to get into the hallway. “Welcome Home, Darling.” he said softly against her head, as if it hadn’t been the first time she entered this place and saw the mainly black master bedroom they now arrived in. On the way to his bed he managed to slip out of his boots and placed Siennas back on top of his bed before following her down and crawling over her.
“You’re the most beautiful thing I have ever seen in this world.” he hushed in amazement and let his lips sink to hers to feel her hands in his hair again while his own would travel where they had left her thighs before. Without a word he let himself fall into that kiss until his gloved hand found her underwear and pulled it down her smooth legs just to finish with taking off her heels on the way that landed on the ground. “Stay.” he begged in desperation not only for her to not move away, but maybe with a secret wish of her staying as long as she wished for even if he wouldn’t mention it. Instead he tried to cover up the truth by shoving up her skirt, his scruff brushing along her folds before he let his tongue slip over her entrance, legs resting over his broad shoulders. “I wanted to do that all night.” he reassured her with a grin before his eyes closed to focus only on the taste his tongue now explored with every nerve while his hands hold her in position. Damn, how should he only manage to let her go again?
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more than one week i will be gone
translations and img descriptions in alt thing
#kabru is using casual language here even though ik he uses polite language for toshiro in jp#its just that it sounds weird to me for a 22 yo to use ho/po for a 26 year old they're friends with 😭😭 feels losyang eh#dungeon meshi fanart#dungeon meshi#dunmeshi#toshiro nakamoto#kabru#namari#yes that thing on the last one is me yes i look like mithrun yes the scars do make it painful to move yes i am growing my hair out#kanal talk namari and kabru taglish truther btw . kanal talk is street talk for ppl who live near open sewers (me) iirc#lets be Real toshiro has to commute 6 hours everyday from his work to home i simply dont believe he owns a car. fuck cars forever#i just KNOW when its 8:50 pm on a saturday that man is BOLTING for the lrt-1 station train after 9 hours of work#namari is also a jeepney driver .im assigning every single commute vehicle to her get on the pedikab girl#to me kabru is that one guy who sat inside an empty jeepney and acted like he was a limo princess#i also have like 3 other drawings but i dont. what this post to get too long as it already is so i'll send those later...
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Tragically, Tumblr doesn't allow enough options to include every game, so Dream Land 1 was removed </3 (and tragically I couldn't include an option for the spinoffs either </3 )
#not a comic or an ask#kirby#kirby nightmare in dream land#kirby's dream land 2#kirby super star ultra#kirby's dream land 3#kirby 64 the crystal shards#kirby and the amazing mirror#kirby squeak squad#kirby's return to dream land#kirby triple deluxe#kirby planet robobot#kirby star allies#kirby and the forgotten land#still no asks drawn i'm afraid! i've been working on other stuff lately#honestly i think this blog is gonna be going into one of its hiatuses again soon#but polls are fun! so i'll be posting polls for a couple weeks#i actually wanted to do a ''what was your first kirby game'' poll this week#but the limited space for options makes that one more complicated to do. i'm gonna have to group games together#so i also need to figure out *which* games to group together#but i'll still do it another week! in the meantime though here's this poll!#and many apologies to anyone whose favourite kirby game is a spinoff 😔 i didn't have space#and also to anyone whose favourite is dream land 1 but i removed that one hoping there *wouldn't* be too many of you?#since super star's spring breeze is just dream land 1: abridged plot-wise#but personally return to dream land and its remake are my favourite!!#magolor my beloved <3#crowned and the rest of the ost my beloved <3#the lor as a fun hub area my beloved <3#and i just. honestly really love how much dialogue rtdl has. it's one of if not *the* kirby game with the most dialogue in it#and the magolor epilogue that the remake added was amazing!! ...aaaand i'm out of tags fgshshf
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jaykyle au where they're theatre kids in the same school but they're not the actors jason's the scriptwriter/director and kyle is the prop manager (i don't know the official terms sorry) and they'd probably do an amazing job on the backstage setting if they could stop arguing for 5 whole seconds about their artistic visions and ideas and how "this would obviously work better this way"
#jason todd#kyle rayner#jaykyle#mypost#dc thoughts#vp of the club: maybe we should find some other people to do the job if they can't get along?#pres of the club: no they're both talented af and i want this to be raving success just knock their heads tgt and tell them to play nice or#i'll make them wear the get along shirt again#WAIT ONE SEC DONNA'S THE PRES and overseer she's pissed bcos kyle played the same role last year and he was chill then#wally's vp no 1 and backstage manager and he's thinking of kicking kyle out#dick's vp no 2 and main lead and he's thinking of kicking jason out bcos it's embarrassing and annoying to work with your younger siblings#kon helps kyle with props and bart is one of the actors and kon is jealous af about it he grumbles a little#roy is the fight scene choreographer#i'm trying to think of something for garth but the only thing that comes to mind i'm not sure are fitting enough#actor manager? weapon manager? oooh maybe pet manager if they have animals... human and pet manager???? hr department but including animals#ooooh maybe pet manager if they have animals#raven can play bart's love interest (in play) maybe (wally doesn't like it and neither does gar for very different reasons)#eddie deals with the contraptions they build for this bubble machines smoke machines lowering and raising anything mechanical#rose and cass helps with the weapons stuff they keep fighting too and roy is TIRED#connor plays the villain he didn't mean to or want to but he got dragged into it and he's really hot and gunned in for next years main lead#he doesnt want this#steph and mia are hair makeup costume department but bart and kon love to hangout and help too#jennie-lynn and bart are in-charge of socials#tim pops up a lot because so many of his friends (and brothers) are here and when he does he helps steph and mia#damian too pops up to help with pet management and sometimes prop art#this is much to dicks annoyance jason is already here can his little brothers LEAVE HIM ALONE SOMETIMES UGH#damian (taking cues from talia and bruce loverenemies dynamic and wanting an artist in-law): we should set jason and kyle up#dick: no / tim: hmm / dick: NO#i want to add the yj girls (cassie cissie greta anita) but i know too little about them right now but imagine they're there and the roles#are to be determined
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hey i just saw a tiktok video with the horrors comic and i couldn't find any credit (also the comments were turned off ://) and i thought maybe you should know (here's the link to it: https://vm.tiktok.com/ZGexd54Qx/ )
Ah, thank you anon! I'm not particularly surprised unfortunately, not the first time it's happened with that comic — sadly I don't think there's much I can do about it, especially since I don't have a tiktok myself. But thank you for letting me know! I do like to know whenever that happens, even if I can't do anything to get the videos taken down. At the very least, it's a reminder that I should really start putting some sort of signature on my comics 😅
...Also, in this particular case the video you linked actually made me laugh when I looked at it, because!! Quick storytime: the last time someone messaged me to let me know that a tiktoker had reposted the horrors comic, I went and looked at it and noticed that the reposter had put two of the comic pages in the wrong order. Somehow NO ONE in the comments had mentioned the fact that the order of events didn't flow right, it was hilarious.
Why is this relevant? Well, because this tiktok you've linked me to has the SAME EXACT MISTAKE, which indicates to me that this new person didn't even steal it from me directly, they stole it from the OTHER REPOSTER and also didn't notice the mistake in page order! The reposters are cannibalizing each other! I am both very entertained and utterly baffled by the lack of effort! They're not even stealing things well!
Anyway, all this to say: I have managed to find the humor in this kind of situation, but I still do not appreciate people reposting my stuff, especially without credit. And general PSA that if you see my comics/artwork anywhere that is not here on my tumblr, or on my AO3 account forest_raccoon, that is not posted by me, and it has been done without my permission.
#tldr; don't repost artist's work! it is not kind#...about this particular case though —#comparing the two tiktok pages really convinced me that that reposter 2 is just stealing from reposter 1#they've even reposted some comics from artists that are missing full pages and thus do not make sense#similar complaint: reposter 1 also stole the 'wrecking ball; comic I did recently#and they DIDN'T USE WRECKING BALL BY MOTHER MOTHER AS THE BACKGROUND SONG#HOW DO YOU MESS THAT UP#I mean I know people who repost stuff are probably more likely to be lazy (since they're already just stealing other people's work)#but this is on another level to a degree that I kinda just have to laugh#anyway! I'll figure out a way to incorporate a signature into my comics and other than that I'm not gonna worry about it too much lol#not that a signature will stop reposters of course — reposter 1 has several stolen videos that say 'DO NOT REPOST' right on the screen#but at least then anyone looking for the original artist can find it if they want to!#ask box#senhart rambles
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so uh. idk what happened but I have 5 different COTL AUs now
#I'll post more about them later#one is defiance au ofc. dw I'm still working on that#two of them are very unserious#one of the unserious ones is my modern au. the other one is also a modern au but i put them in a highschool setting so that id have an#excuse to make everyone even more stupid#2/3 of the serious ones include interactions between narinder and the mystic seller- one of these is defiance#the other one i came up with literally just today and already have way too many ideas for#the remaining 1/3 of the serious ones is the most canon compliant one#its also the one im least likely to post about#cotl au#cotl lamb#cotl#cult of the lamb#cult of the lamb the lamb#cult of the lamb au
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i think i tapped on the explore page by accident some minutes ago, i've been scrolling for a good sec like 'why is this on my dash. i don't know any of these people. what's going on' lmfsvh
#just me hi#i was really scrolling like 'man i do i need to start unfollowing people' before i Realized something was Wrong hkdjvhgv#idek how i did that. for a moment i was in a poor (quality) alternate dimension hkfkshvj#//anywho 'm gonna be going to bed in a bit :)#12 is about the time i should go to sleep... but also i've been doing pretty well going to sleep late n waking up at pretty reasonable hour#turns out when i'm much better at managing my own sleep times than i thought! whodda thought after all this time hbfhsh#//mnmnm also i'm getting back into actually enjoying writing lol :33#took me a sec bc oooh has it been fooooreeeever bfsh !! but yea i'm figuring out how to like it again :>>#i had what i believe to be a reasonable amount of description for a scene(in hindsight anyway lmfsh) and was like 'ohh but is this annoying#and then the thought of 'oh wait. i'm writing for me and one other guy (also me)'#so it haaaas been pleasant :33#i'm trying to practice my pacing n stuff... my punctuation has gotten a bit rusty too so that as well :)#//oh i haven't worked on my background stuff...#year's almost done and i think i've done 1 full background i think. that's a bit crazy hkfshv#gotta make up for that !! it's gonna suck prolly but i'm gonna do it >:3#mmmmmmmmmmmmm yea i'll do that after the yellow piece tomorrow :>#i've already got some of the guidelines for that down so ~!!~#//ouh the tea Got Me#going to poof now.. tooodles .w./
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everything's coming up roses
#my art lol#vocaloid#flower vocaloid#v3 flower#blood tw#decapitation#tw decapitated head#yeah fukase's here but i'm not tagging him for. reasons. thats enough maintags i think immm nervous. feel like i'll get nerfed#womp womp random ass emo shit w/ no explanation once again... based off a doodle i did while bored at work#and it looked good enough to turn into a full thing so ye. also experimenting in the ibispaint that i like never use 😭😭#drew this the day before gakupo's bday lol i guess i can only draw one (1) purple loid good atm 😔😔 and her v3 isnt even that purple#it was gonna be v4 originally but v3's design worked better for composition purposes. sorry v4 i swear i love you too#but i think i will forever be a little bit based towards v3 since that's how i first knew flower. sorry 🥴#lowkey an indirect sequel/prequel to that other drawing i did a long ass time ago if you wanna think about it like that lmaoo?? but not rly#i feel like i could've put more in this but idk i also didn't wanna overfill it w/ stuff. also man i can never draw heads to scale bruh#always terrified i draw them either too big or too small. and that's even when attached properly to a neck
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episode 2 rough cut dddddone!!! it is over 27mn, 29 with credits roll!!!
there is about 1h08 worth of "watchable" thralls currently existing right now???? yipee!!!!
#thoughts#thralls of power#animatic project#!!!!!#I am SO GLAD I finished this one#and pushed through while I had the mental headspace to do so#it's a little messy by virtue of being Ambitious and very poorly drawn at the moment#but the tension!!!! I think it works soooo well I'm so pleased#it is truly the most ambitious episode regarding camera movements and such#and the fight scene also#then I'll need to be veeery nice and finish episode 1 first#instead of immediately jumping to episode 3#which I'm unbelievably excited about#it's kind of the episode that truly dives into what flavor of ganondorf this one is --and one that gives him a lot of depth hopefully#it has koume and kotake!!!!!#and. other things too. don't worry about it.
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god artists really do just pass around the same $20 bill cause dude over half my clients are other artists 😭 and usually they're the ones that tip well!! i just wish i could afford to also commission other artists and buy stuff from their shops!
#as soon as i get my grants/scholarships im gonna buy some shit from artists i like#i gotta get some things for my wall cause i live in an empty white box#im going to a zine fest soon too so im excited to talk to local artists!!#gonna splurge on 1 big poster or something#i hope someone's selling sculpted magnets or other unique decorations#i gotta make a list of ppl i wanna buy from#idk if I'll commission anyone tho cause that's a whole other deal and more expensive#idk what i would commission#it'd have to be something from an artist who can draw that thing wayyyy better than i ever could#enough to justify me spending over $50-100 cause you know im not gonna pay pennies even if they're undercharging#i swear if i had a regular job id spend money on art every month#genuinely i think my ideal achievable life rn is working a head empty office job 30 hrs a week and doing art the rest of the time#building streams of casual income until i have enough to pivot to full-time art again MAYBE#but from what ive heard from post college full time artists... that shits hard and confusing and stressful...#these tags rly lost the plot huh...#just rambling#not art
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alright~ a few updates about everything! so this weekend I'll be seeing changkyun in chicago- so I prolly won't be posting until after I'm alive again from that 😂😅 (I am vv excited about it- I just know I'll be vv tired when I return home). Anyways, I have a few fics in the works~ one of them that is a request 🤭 I'm vv excited to work on them! But I think I'm going to change my masterlist a bit when I come back. I'm going to retire a few groups from the main masterlist and I've been debating for the past year about it... But I think I'm going to add a yearly masterlist- So it would go from most recent to the beginning of this year~
I'm also thinking about changing my pfp- I haven't been really into stray kids for uh... years- But I will be sure to make an update about that if I go thru with that too- (It may be ji changmin next 🫣🤭)
Anyways those are my few updates 🥰💖
#in general my brain is so muddled outside of talking to my three closest and my mom i'm just... fogged- but god how i want to be#writing rn- i have 4 smuts and 1 fluff in the works (who would have guessed my fluff writer self has moved from not only plain fluff to#angst & smut this year? not me- but i'm happy about it) two are poly aus and the other two are about a certain 🌙~#kate rambles on from here#altho there is another vv big potential fic~ but i'm only counting ones i have lots of progress on-#and then the masterlist thing i've been thinking about forever- hwvr again i do not know if i'll have the energy bc i might be knocked#on my ass for another month after this trip (i'll be pretty much solely driving for 4 & 1/2 hrs there and another 4 & 1/2 back the next day#but the pfp thing has been on my mind for a while too- again idk when i'll get around to it but jinkoh has given me a vv good#idea esp for winter~ with mr. ji~ so i'm sure to have changed it by december~ (unless the change is too much for me- i haven't changed it#since 2018... so i'm kind of attached to it- even tho i don't even bias him or stan the group anymore...)#anyways this is full of me rambling- i could really go on tbh- bc i'm really trying to get my mind into gear- but these are my updates#let's see if i fulfill em- i'm bound to fill the fic ones- but the other two... yeah- we'll see-#kate rambles#blog updates#should i bring babydoll q & juyo to the concert bc if it wasn't for kyun getting me into dominic fike(and being into tbz during stealer era#i wouldn't have been a tbz ult... (outside of some other factors i haven't really disclosed) bc atp i'm vv close to packing them with me#i mean tbh a tbz pc was going- but now i'm 🫣: should i bring them to see the guy from my first ult group that caused the spiral-#that made me get into my newest ult group? (i love this butterfly effect more than i could ever express tbh- even tho i express it often)#anyways if someone actually reads these- i'm bound to bring babydoll q- legally that's my buddy- but juyo?? 👀
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Was wondering why this particular gith face always feels like it suits baldness best and then I realized it IS in fact Orpheus' face model, Orph just has different unique ears.
Anyway welcome back, dreadwolf.
#he almost had purple-blue eyes but I've wanted to use that pink on *someone*#I have vague plans for a gith from creche y'llek who was the first gith to be shown mercy by ko'kuu#think I might use him for that#blasting him with the agonizing chronic pain beam. sorry#might call him solir which is funny because it's actually the name of a sun god in one of my homebrew campaigns#but that could work for a gith born in the monastery basement of the morninglord's temple#also: cleric. for fun and profit.#realized the orph thing when I also made him yellow RIP oh well. maybe he'll be sympathetic to orpheus' plight finally#not playing him yet I have too many other characters on the docket at the moment but I keep turning his concepts around in my head#so I wanted a visual to go with#doubly glad I didn't go with the spots ko'kuu has because I think Orph has the same ones underneath those tattoos#but I like the concept of recognition as sympathy in that sense: why ko'kuu fought for him; why he might in turn fight for orpheus#hmm#we'll see#I also wanted to see what Xa'rok looked like with these spots on because in my brain they have spots on their neck (more along the sides)#but I wasn't convinced#alas#I also like that one spot pattern with the spots on the chin.#also considered a body 1 gith for this concept but again the faces vex me. I think the only face I like is the first one#I'll have to play Kresh's guardian sometime because she's pretty#I almost gave him that same tattoo because it's fun to see which tattoos go all the way up into the hair that you don't normally see#but I was adamant about leaving his face bare because I NEVER do#oh god I don't want to play a second warlock (lii'r'ai is a warlock) but this guy making a pact in the hopes of mitigating his pain... hmm#unaligned cleric/cleric of morninglord to cleric of ilmater or loviatar (once he learns about them) to warlock could be fun...#my tavs#rook's ramblings
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Me looking through all the reblogs/comments from people genuinely concerned about my wellbeing:
#/silly of course... I very much appreciate your worries but I need to reassure you all: I AM OKAY!!!#And disregarding the first week (was on my period) I have a decent sleep schedule. I've just started waking up early#i'll attempt to explain why I work so fast but I do need to give it some thought:#1) probably the most likely reason is just my art style; its relatively simple and cartoony and i've done it for years.#it could just be quick to work with?#speaking of which 2) I've been drawing for a long while... nearly all my life but getting more “serious” starting 3rd grade#it could be I've done the skills so much I just do them really fast? that and my art style maybe#in other words my art style and maybe my experience with cartooning make me work so fast? I have no clue#even this doesn't feel entirely accurate but I guess it provides some reason... like papercutzo said maybe its very stubborn motivation too#but seriously though please don't worry about me (yet)!!! I'm not overworking myself I promise :)#doodle#artsandramblesandstuff#update I read a thing about cartoonists working quickly and I think another thing that ties with the 2nd reason is practice? maybe?#sorry for sounding so distraught (if I'm honest its that I was beginning to think something was wrong with me for working so fast)#(thats why Im attempting to answer this)#(i should shut up now)
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me when i write a character who is prone to dooming themself and then they run off and doom themself. core traits are stubbornness and a willingness to disregard their own humanity gET BACK HERE IM NOT DONE WITH YOU
#rambling#surprisingly this is not about jakob.. im just really consistent about my favorite character archetypes 😭😭#WARNING THE NOTES ON THIS ARE REALLY LONG I STARTED RAMBLING#“ouhh i have a headache i'll just lie down and rotate my blorbos in no general direction for a while until it goes away” and then boom.#serious plot considerations. 2 questions answered 24million new questions raised. this is specifically Not what i asked for.#so now im sitting here STILL dizzy running mental calculations on how i can get this bitch out of peril without reworking everything#but they literally keep dying in every timeline 😭😭 every single plausible road leads to them running off and screwing themself over#“character who doesn't realize they want to live until it's way too late to look back” VS#“character who is forced to live and handle the things they never though they'd survive long enough to deal with” FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT.#fucking hell i have never had this much trouble writing a character as i have with them#they genuinely do just run off and do shit without my permission and then i have to pace for an hour or two wondering#“ok they wOULD do that. but should they. do i feel like i can confidently write that.”#im like constantly in this tug of war trying to get them to CHILL#but also they are absolutely my favorite character from the entire project. but like. FUCK GET BACK HERE#is death the most satisfying end to this arc? is someone who was Set on dying then NOT dying the most satisfying end to the arc?#how many bridges can you burn until you irreparably set yourself aflame too?#would ghost or revival plotline work?? would it make sense with the worldbuilding??#do i just Like Them enough to want them to not die?? where do i draw the line between personal bias and a good arc?#is death not feeling as impactful as survival solely because i've been writing for so long that it's lost the initial impact?#and other such plot considerations...#im gonna have such an easy time writing another character though 😭😭 because THAT character's dynamic in the second act#is to stare at character 1 and be like “why are you like this. i mean i know Why but can you chill. please.” and like damn bro me too#actually wait no i think kaey.a is the hardest character i've ever written i take it back#had to worry about his 20million facades AND his Actual feelings AND canon compliance. shit is hard#i still havent finished the k/aeya fic i started back when the chasm first released which is uhh. two years ago. oops.#i think i struggle writing emotionally repressed liars i think thats what this is 😭😭 anyways.#(voice of guy who has been obsessed with nonlinear narratives and tragedies for several years):#“is it too much to kill this character in a nonlinear exploration game with tragic elements”#like bitch what are you talking about 😭😭 YOU'RE the target audience here figure it out#sorry the notes on this are just my writing journal now apparently
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#i know this is just burnout#but i'm so frustrated with my own body like#the first two years of grad school i was taking 2 classes per semester#sometimes working 1-2 jobs at a time#and then sometimes speaking at conferences too#*while* still slowly working on my thesis#(admittedly not getting very far at all in the writing stage)#and it burned me out *so bad*#and now just taking one class and writing my thesis tires me out tremendously#sure i'm actually *writing* it now and making so much more progress#but i'm no longer working. or taking any other classes. i'll probably do more conference stuff later but...how did i do it all???#also i'm so behind in networking like???#where is my energy???#i can barely even do thesis work for my than 3-4 hours at most before i need to stop for the day..and that's on a good day#idk i feel like i make this post multiple times per year and nothing changes health wise lol#sorry i'm just sitting here in this coffee shop and i want to cry lol i feel so tired and unmotivated lol#grad school tag
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