#i'll be saying the wildest shit just because the act of saying it is so FUN

[eerna]

so called "free thinkers" when a song has a rhythmic pattern of syllables that feels so nice to shape with the tongue

[rabbitsrants]

SHINICHI KUDO IS TOO MUCH

guys, i'm currently working on the "reasons why shinran is one of the most brilliantly written romances of all time" masterlist and i came across this part of the manga:

chapter 44

AND I AM LAUGHING MY ASS OFF

shinichi is absolutely RUTHLESS in this chapter. correct me if i'm wrong, but this has to be his angriest moment throughout the entire series? i don't remember him acting this way in any other chapter 😂 like... shinichi is the type of guy who saves murderers from suicide, it's a well known fact that he values human life more than anything, HE'S A DEEPLY IDEALISTIC PERSON, YALL, THAT'S THE MAIN TRAIT THAT DEFINES HIM AS A PERSON and he straight up tells this dude (whos about to slit his own throat btw) TO GO AHEAD AND KILL HIMSELF

this is the most unhinged i've ever seen him 😂

now, let me be serious for a second. obviously, shinichi strongly suspected that the culprit wouldnt go through with it - he spent the entire case trying to cover up his murder after all, that's not something a suicidal person does. still though. the fact that shinichi was willing to risk it says so much about his love for ran. cause that's what his rant is about. the culprit tried to kill ran on multiple occasions and almost succeeded a couple of times. if there's one thing that shinichi can not handle, it's ran being in danger. he'll lose his composure every single time and he will lash out, even at innocent people who are just trying to help:

chapter 640

this man is so devoted to ran, it hurts.

that's why im so shocked everytime the fandom implies that ran is an irrelevant character who doesnt contribute anything to the story. if (for whatever reason) ran stopped being in the picture, the story would end right then and there.

people seem to forget that shinichi has prioritized ran over cases on numerous occasions (that aspect of their relationship deserves its own post tbh, i'll hopefully get to it in the future), he completely loses his mind everytime there's even the slightest risk that she might get hurt and this case right here? chapter 44? that's the wildest shit shinichi has ever said 😂 the part about justice was spot on and very in character for him, but the rest? it was brutal... and very unlike him. which is shocking, considering that ran was completely unharmed. do me a favor and let that sink in: the end of chapter 44 was merely his reaction to the thought of losing ran - he completely lost his shit. now, if ran actually stopped being in his life? shinichi wouldn't just lose his temper, he'd lose himself.

for the record, this isnt me implying that he would go rogue or whatever. the reason why shinichi is so angry in chapter 44 is because ran is okay and tangible, so he still has something to lose. but if she was gone? if she stopped being his life? he wouldn't be angry, he'd be inconsolable. if the level of anger displayed in chapter 44 and 640 is what we get when shinichi simply worries about ran's safety, just imagine the level of heartbreak that we would witness if he genuinely lost her.

shinichi loves and needs ran so much, it's unfathomable for most people, including me. everytime i think i cracked the case and finally figured out how much shinichi loves ran, he proves me wrong. and while i think that most cold cases are a tragedy, i think im coming to terms with leaving this one unresolved. after all, love is the most mysterious force in the universe. and always will be.

visit the shinran library for more

[oh-yeah-i-exist]

A Partner, An Equal (Astarion x Durge!Tav)

Synopsis: The first night of Astarion's second life, free from Cazador and with her by his side.

Author's Note: This is technically written with my Tav (named Eiji) in mind, but I didn't name her in the text so it's pretty much up to you to imagine 'her' as you will. Also, a great song to listen to while you read this is:

Because of the line, "I'll make you a star in my universe..."

Content: Astarion x Female!Tav. FLUFF, tooth-rotting fluff, because my sweet boy deserves only love and safety and comfort and everything nice after, and I quote, "two centuries of PURE shit."

Warning: Might contain SPOILERS for Act 2 and 3!

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

Perhaps a graveyard was not the best place for their first night since Cazador's defeat, but the idea of having her there with him at the very beginning of his new life felt right to Astarion.

"We'd better get back before the others start fearing the worst," She says, zipping up the side of her under-armor. They are getting dressed together in the shadow of a large oak tree.

He doesn't jump anymore when she reaches for him. "Here, let me," she readjusts the collar of his undershirt to fold properly around his pale neck. With the little gesture done, her hands linger at his jawline as her gaze trails up to study his face.

"Something's the matter, my love?" He raises an eyebrow when she softly brushes her thumbs across his high cheekbones.

A dreamy smile spreads across her face, a distant look in her eyes. Oh, how she adores the lines around his lips when he laughs, the faint mole on his right cheek, the way his silver hair curls delicately over his ears. He once asked for nothing but shallow praise from her; it is as plain as the sky is blue that he's a beautiful man, a creature meticulously groomed to be the very object of everyone's desire. But that's who Cazador made him to be. That's not why she loves him.

"I didn't ever get a chance to tell you..." She begins slowly, as though she is trying to pull herself out of some reverie. "But I'm so sorry, for everything that happened to you. You didn't deserve any of it. I want you to know that you're perfect, just the way you are."

For a moment there, he was getting worried that she might be having second thoughts. But this incredible woman keeps taking his breath away, keeps exceeding even his wildest dreams. Without hesitation, he bends down and swiftly scoops her up in an embrace, holding her tightly against his chest. Bittersweet tears gather in the corners of his eyes, and he buries his face in her hair - during their intimacy, she let her hair fall out of their usual buns and cascade over her shoulder, as dark and silky as the night sky. She smells of lavender and campfire, a bouquet he has committed to memory a million times over. He all but melts against her as she gently places her arms around his shoulders, her fingers ghosting over the upper ridges of his scars to stroke the hair on the back of his neck.

"Thank you," He murmurs, pulling her even closer.

"You never have to thank me," she replies. "I love you."

"I love you, too," he nudges his forehead against hers, grinning like a fool. Precious, unadulterated bliss fills his cold, dead heart for the first time in centuries.

And he could have stayed like that for centuries more, had it not been for the sound of the crypt keeper coming around the corner.

"Come on, lest we get accused of desecrating someone's grave," she whispers, pulling him behind a tree and towards the exit.

"Oh please, it was my grave, and that gives me permission to do whatever I want on it," quips Astarion, even though he follows her back into the walkways of the Lower City. He knows these streets like the back of his hand, knows every out-of-the-way alley and hiding spot, knows exactly where the poor and naive can be found. His accursed brain won't let him forget the faces of those he met in this city, those whose lives his vampiric touch has ruined. Seven thousand in total, all innocents who had the misfortune of falling for him. Guilt threatens to engulf him once more, but the feeling of her fingers entwining with his own guides his attention back to the present.

"It's strange, you know," she looks around as they walk. Her dark brows crease together with a hint of frustration. "Something in me feels like I know this place, but for the life of me, I cannot recall. I try to reach into the darkness of my past but keep coming up empty."

Ah. Nearly everyone who looks into her brain comes to the conclusion that it is damaged beyond repair. Astarion was there when the party had encountered that frightful hack doctor in the Mindflayer colony, back in the Shadow-cursed Lands. Kressa Bonedaughter was her name, the vile wretch that took a bit too much pleasure in retelling how she had operated on his beloved. They couldn't have put that woman down sooner. But they did figure out that the Mindflayers were not behind the damage - she had arrived on the Nautiloid with her mind already in tatters. And from what 'Archduke' Gortash implied, Bhaal's Chosen, Orin might have something to do with all of it.

"If it is what you wish, I will not rest until we have your memories restored," says Astarion, giving her hand a reassuring squeeze.

She is unsure that there is anything to be done, but she is touched by his sincerity all the same. Looking away from her surroundings, she pauses for a moment to think.

"In a way, I don't regret it," she shakes her head, much to his confusion.

"How so?"

"Well... Whatever happened in my past, whatever it was that has landed me here," she explains. "It has led me to you. I wouldn't change that for the world."

"My, my..." he teases, though his lovestruck smile betrays the maddening giddiness that has befallen him upon hearing her words. "Aren't you quite the hopeless romantic?"

"It's the truth..." she mumbles, the tips of her ears growing red from the embarrassment. She begins rushing them towards the Elfsong Tavern before he can make another sly remark.

When they finally make it into the party's rented chambers, they make a beeline for one of the empty bunks. As quietly as two mice in a barn, they slip under the covers. Her body fits against his perfectly, her steady heartbeat luring him to slumber better than any meditative trance. And he knows, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that he could go to the Hells and back, battle a gargantuan, all-powerful floating brain, and do damn near everything if it means he gets to spend the rest of his nights just like this.

[musette22]

Minnie! I've been having all these "Mattfleck" content on my TikTok fyp, moments between Ben Afleck and Matt Damon going viral (most of the viral videos are by one or two accounts too, if not all of them) and everyone's going crazy with all the new information and people are shipping them hard (I do not blame them, lol), and I saw one comment on one of these post saying "you guys need to check out Milex" and naturally, I thought of you, and then naturally, I thought about Evanstan, and I was like god, there are so many moments of Chris and Seb (and of Milex too, I'm sure) that no one pays attention to, and we just need one or two heroes getting them out there. Like the intimate hugs, the whole Civil War press tour thing, etc. Make a fucking catalog, thread, picture album, I don't care.

I don't even know why I want general public to just fucking pay attention to them too, nothing more, just see these two together, please! Like actually see all these moments and the rest is up to you. It's so silly lol but sometimes it's so lonely outside of here 😂 this is not to be taken much seriously, by the way, I know they were much more popular a few years ago -but I'm sure there are plenty who have no clue about them and would probably lose their shit, but then again, maybe this is for the best -,but I just needed to ramble. So yeah, thank you, I'll be praying.

Ohh honey!! I totally missed this ask until just now, somehow! I'm so sorry, not sure when you sent this but I didn't mean to ignore you 🤦🏻‍♀️

But aaahhh I think it's so sweet of you that you thought of me when you saw people mentioning Milex! 🥰 And ngl, I'm pretty chuffed someone mentioned them because they DO deserve to be on that list for sure! It's some of the wildest rpf stuff you can imagine, honestly.

However, Chris and Seb definitely deserve a solid mention too, you're absolutely right! I've always said it, but the way they always light up when they see each other or even when the other is mentioned, and especially the way they interacted during all those press tours... there was something there. Whether they ever acted on it or not, I absolutely believe they've got a big old soft spot for each other and it wouldn't surprise me at all if anything did happen between them tbh. But yeah, some of those civil war press tour moments especially were SO telling, and I'm sure there are a lot of people out there who would be blown away by seeing a compilation of all those kinds of moments, just like I was when I first stumbled upon them ❤️ There are some GREAT and pretty comprehensive videos on YouTube, lemme tell you....

Anyway, they're both happily settled right now of course and that's wonderful for them, but just as I think they'll always have a special place in each other's hearts, their connection and that wonderful, soft and warm sort of tension that exists between them will always have a special place in mine 💘 Sending you hugs, lovely!

[lorelodge]

♡ Dean & Crowley

Send me a ♡ plus a ship and I'll tell you... // @shieldretired & @hellceo

𝚆𝙷𝙾 𝙰𝚂𝙺𝙴𝙳 𝚆𝙷𝙾 𝙾𝚄𝚃 𝙵𝙸𝚁𝚂𝚃?

Does turning your crush into a demon and running off for five months count as "asking out"? Let's say yes. Definitely Crowley. But he's a smooth son of a witch. To this day Dean has no idea they were dating.

𝚆𝙷𝙾 𝚆𝙴𝙽𝚃 𝙸𝙽 𝙵𝙾𝚁 𝚃𝙷𝙴 𝙵𝙸𝚁𝚂𝚃 𝙺𝙸𝚂𝚂?

Crowley, because even without inhibitions Dean was so deep in the closet that he nearly reached Narnia. The kiss happened during an orgy. Dean was drunk having a good enough time that his immediate reaction wasn't to punch Crowley in the face. Turns out getting kissed by boys is just as nice as getting kissed by girls. Who would have thought.

𝚆𝙷𝙾 𝙶𝙸𝚅𝙴𝚂 𝚃𝙷𝙴 𝙾𝚃𝙷𝙴𝚁 𝙽𝙸𝙲𝙺𝙽𝙰𝙼𝙴𝚂?

They've both given each other nicknames. Dean is Squirrel and Crowley is Boris or, occasionally, Daphne.

𝚆𝙷𝙾 𝙲𝙾𝙾𝙺𝚂 𝚃𝙷𝙴 𝙼𝙴𝙰𝙻𝚂?

Dean. He is secretly loves to watch cooking shows and will try his hand at recipes when time allows. He usually only brings out the apron and spatula on special occasions but he's a good cook. Dean will make breakfast or dinner for the entire bunker, Crowley included. They have "family meals". Sometimes Rowena joins. It's definitely not awkward at all.

𝚆𝙷𝙾 𝙷𝙰𝚂 𝙱𝙴𝚃𝚃𝙴𝚁 𝚃𝙰𝚂𝚃𝙴 𝙸𝙽 𝙼𝚄𝚂𝙸𝙲?

Dean will swear up and down that he has the superior music tastes with his classic rock and R&B. But somehow Taylor Swift has been blasted through the Impala speakers more than once and it's 100% Crowley's influence. (That said, mun is going to go ahead an interject here and say it's Dean. Classic rock beats Swift every day of the week.)

𝚆𝙷𝙾 𝙷𝙾𝙶𝚂 𝚃𝙷𝙴 𝙱𝙴𝙳?

Crowley's mongrel pups Juliette and Charlotte.

𝚆𝙷𝙾 𝚆𝙰𝙺𝙴𝚂 𝚄𝙿 𝙵𝙸𝚁𝚂𝚃?

Does it count as waking up if you never went to sleep to begin with? If so, Crowley.

𝚆𝙷𝙾 𝙼𝙰𝙺𝙴𝚂 𝚃𝙷𝙴 𝙲𝙾𝙵𝙵𝙴𝙴?

Sam. He also drinks all the coffee like the caffeine addict he is. Occasionally Dean manages to swoop in and steal a cup, but usually he's just stuck drinking beer for breakfast.

𝚆𝙷𝙾'𝚂 𝚃𝙷𝙴 𝙱𝙸𝙶 𝚂𝙿𝙾𝙾𝙽?

Dean. I said what I said.

𝚆𝙷𝙾 𝚂𝚃𝙰𝚈𝚂 𝚄𝙿 𝚃𝙷𝙴 𝙻𝙰𝚃𝙴𝚂𝚃?

Crowley, because, again, he doesn't need sleep. He does however text Dean at the wildest hours of the night. Dean's sleep schedule is ass, especially when they're working a case so it's not uncommon for him to get a response even if it's 3-4am.

𝚆𝙷𝙾 𝚁𝙴𝙰𝙲𝙷𝙴𝚂 𝙵𝙾𝚁 𝚆𝙷𝙾'𝚂 𝙷𝙰𝙽𝙳?

Crowley reached for Dean's hand once during sex while Dean was still a demon. Demon!Dean's reaction was so scarring that Crowley hasn't initiated anything like that since. Shockingly Dean will, although not usually hand holding. More like small acts of physical contact, often without entirely realizing it.

𝚆𝙷𝙾'𝚂 𝙰 𝙵𝙰𝙽 𝙾𝙵 𝙿𝙳𝙰?

Crowley. Mostly because he's a little shit that likes to play chicken with the rest of the bunker finding out. Dean will leave whatever crevice they were making out in and then instead of waiting 15 minutes like he's supposed to Crowley will come out immediately after. It's the worst kept "secret" in the bunker.

𝚆𝙷𝙾 𝚂𝙽𝙾𝚁𝙴𝚂?

The hellhounds.

𝚆𝙷𝙾 𝙶𝙴𝚃𝚂 𝙰𝙽𝙽𝙾𝚈𝙴𝙳 𝙼𝙾𝚁𝙴 𝙴𝙰𝚂𝙸𝙻𝚈?

Dean. Neither of them are the poster children for anger management but Dean is definitely the one more likely to get riled up.

𝚆𝙷𝙾 𝙸𝙽𝙸𝚃𝙸𝙰𝚃𝙴𝚂 𝚂𝙴𝚇?

Dean, but then he pretends like it's all Crowley's doing and that he actually doesn't want to be there. He's just 'ugh, gross, a demon. I guess I have no choice but to fuck him so he'll leave me alone.'

𝚆𝙷𝙾 𝙰𝚂𝙺𝚂 𝚆𝙷𝙾 𝙵𝙾𝚁 𝚃𝙷𝙴𝙸𝚁 𝙷𝙰𝙽𝙳 𝙸𝙽 𝙼𝙰𝚁𝚁𝙸𝙰𝙶𝙴?

Crowley asked Dean to be his co-ruler of hell, does that count? Let's say yes.

𝙼𝚈 𝙼𝚄𝚂𝙴'𝚂 𝙵𝙰𝚅𝙾𝚁𝙸𝚃𝙴 𝙼𝙴𝙼𝙾𝚁𝚈 𝙾𝙵 𝚈𝙾𝚄𝚁𝚂:

𝙰 𝚁𝙴𝙶𝚁𝙴𝚃 𝙼𝚈 𝙼𝚄𝚂𝙴 𝙷𝙰𝚂 𝚁𝙴𝙶𝙰𝚁𝙳𝙸𝙽𝙶 𝚈𝙾𝚄𝚁𝚂:

I don't actually think Dean has any regrets regarding Crowley, to be honest. Maybe you could say he regrets that Crowley broke out of that bunker and sacrificed himself, but even then that's not completely true. Dean tries not to look back and say "what if" because, well, that ain't about to change anything. If anything he was just pissed at God for not bringing anyone (including Crowley) back.

I would also say that after Crowley was brought back there was a sense of 'okay he's one of us now' by Dean that wasn't completely there before.

𝙸𝙵 𝚃𝙷𝙴𝚈 𝙲𝙾𝚄𝙻𝙳 𝙲𝙷𝙰𝙽𝙶𝙴 𝙾𝙽𝙴 𝚃𝙷𝙸𝙽𝙶:

Dean would put Crowley in a full cowboy getup.

𝚃𝙷𝙴𝙸𝚁 𝙻𝙾𝚅𝙴 𝙻𝙰𝙽𝙶𝚄𝙰𝙶𝙴𝚂 𝙰𝙲𝙲𝙾𝚁𝙳𝙸𝙽𝙶 𝚃𝙾 𝙼𝚈 𝙼𝚄𝚂𝙴:

Acts of service & time spent together. Outside of Sam there aren't many people Dean can readily rely on, but Crowley is definitely one of them. For someone who so often carries the world on his shoulders, to know that Crowley will come through (come hell or high water) is a relief. It's why, despite not intending to, Dean began to trust Crowley even if he didn't always trust his intentions or motivations.

[genderfluid-fujoshi]

This autistic path has been already way too stupid and long

Since it was very clear to me that I'm autistic, I've been on a unending sending of tiktoks with neurodivergent info back and forth. Needless to say, I think we understand each other on a level that I just didn't think I would understand someone. Once you see how your brain works and why I does the stupid shit that scares you but also the things you like about yourself, you can't unsee it. And then you start seen it on others, some of them even say the wildest ableist crap! And you are there, trying to mask your: omfg, can't you see that you do this same shit?!?! - face.

So I was texting my siblings about a memory of them that came to me about their obsession with cheese. It's a cute story about a toddler eating almost 2oz of cheese in less than 2 minutes, somewhere in the conversation the fact I haven't talked with my progenitor in the last 3 months came up.

My sibling has always been the sharpest and brightest when it comes to make me cut my crap. I love them for that, they say the shit that one else would tell me but never with the intention of hurting me. So as I said, they are amazing at this, so they did the most incredibly precise thing they could do, and made a list of the things that she can now understand better because of her diagnosis, and how my progenitor has spend the last 50 years of their life not knowing or understanding what was different.

And then, it fuckin hit me.

They have been autistic for 50 years and didn't knew shit and couldn't even start to understand because they were the first generation to not get institutionalized when they started acting as a neurodivergent kid.

They don't know how to keep friendships beyond their work spaces, they don't understand a thing about healthy boundaries.

Because they only know abandonment or heavy attachment.

They are disregulated, emotionally immature... And autistic. And they didn't knew.

You can't ask someone to teach you healthy boundaries if they think that boundaries equals rejection.

At first I was sad for they, then a little bit angry and I couldn't grasp exactly why. The emotion didn't make sense on they, but it did on me.

Here I was, again, in the need to give them grace, to see beyond their actions, their lack of a support system, healthy and meaningful friendships... Again trying to understand, just for them to try to excuse themselves with some biodecodifing crap.

I know I'll reach acceptance, because I can see their actions through the same lens and it makes everything so much easier.

Hope is soon.

[starlight-phantom]

Oh rip my dude... How exactly do you feel about the Bayo3 ending??? Personally I'm just so confused by it...

My reaction was:

But if you want me to explain my thoughts, I'll try to keep it brief, but let me just say this: I really, really enjoyed the game. The only problems I had were with the ending and the camera, everything else I really enjoyed.

(Also I'm really sorry but I'm on mobile and I have no clue how to add a read more or if I even can, so if you're avoiding spoilers, please scroll past quick, I've been sat here for ten minutes trying to figure this shit out, I'm sorry that I suck with tech so much...)

-I hate that it ended with almost all the main characters dead. Especially Jeanne's death. Like this lady rode a motorcycle up a missile towards a god floating in space and she gets killed by a single stab wound?

-Singularity sucked. Easily the worst antagonist. I dunno, he was just boring and we don't ever get any reason or motivation for why he's doing this???

-The romance. Okay, BayoLuka ain't my thing, but I actually quite like Luka unlike most people. I like how goofy he is and how he always tries to play off his mistakes by acting 'cool'. But this came outta nowhere? If they wanted these two to end up together... Sure, fine, but it would have taken a lot more than one game to bring me around to them since they spent the first two games showing us that Luka wouldn't be able to get with Bayo in his wildest dreams. And like, as much as I like BayoJeanne, to me, Bayo has just never really seemed interested in relationships? So this coming out of nowhere is... Weird? Plus, even this game didn't really focus on their relationship, it was more teasing the reveal instead of building up their relationship.

-Viola. Now listen, I actually really like Viola. Her gameplay's fun, her battle theme slaps, she's cringe in a really cute and charming way but... I think she works better as a side character, I'm not entirely sure how she would be to carry the series as the protagonist... I would love to be proven wrong about this because, like I said, I really like her, but considering the series' image and appeal... I'm not sure if she works...

I dunno... I guess my feelings can be summed up with: "Boy, they sure made some choices, huh?"

EDIT: I just fucking remembered the whole weird fucking... Werewolf fairy thing going on with Luka???? I dunno how that slipped my mind but I really didn't like that either... Like, okay sure I can vibe with the idea, those designs were cool but like... Why Luka? Wasn't the point of his character to be the human with no powers that was always underestimated by the all-powerful antagonists? Then he comes in and actually does help and it's like "Oh wow, humans do have potential!". Giving him some magical stuff was a weird choice. Also, how did he get that form? What happened? Did he always have that and only recently awoke to it? Did he discover something he shouldn't? I don't think that ever got explained...

[wubwubnparmaham]

what is it exactly that they suffer from and what triggered hadrian's last episode since it'd been a while since the previous one?

also harlock really is harry's best best friend, that last chapter had me in tears man://

This is gonna be a long ass response so I'll cut it here. I haven't been in Auron's head much in actual WRITING and chapters and stuff except for tiny snippets here and there that don't show this sort of thing, so I'm happy to explain, see below

Okay so basically the twins don't have all the same things, but there is some overlap for sure, especially within depression and dissociation.

In short, I could summarize Auron as paranoid personality disorder + delusional psychosis and severe bipolar disorder. I have a lot of experience with bipolar disorder in my life, and a lot of Auron's impulsive-to-unreachable and inconsilable pipeline behaviors are based around shit in my memories, but that's noooot all he is, not by a long shot. The level of PPD paranoia that he has easily rivals that seen in some schizophrenias, but he doesn't have hallucinations, per se, and he's not schizophrenic, he just has intensely DETAILED delusions and ever-present fears that people are out to get him and do him harm that leads to a "strike first" mentality (there's so much he did in his life Hadrian doesn't even know about), and it got permanently unmanageable once his parents actually did try to kill him. Try telling someone something is just in their head when the wildest conspiracy they ever had about their own flesh and blood caregivers turned out to be true. Let's just say there's a definite reason he wanted to be the most powerful person in the entire world, and he was certainly of the mind that it would "cure" his paranoia if he was untouchable like that, like a god. A shitload of Auron's struggles comes down to nature and nurture working in tandem. Things that might have been more manageable became uncontrollable due to early traumas and not enough support, causing him to lash out and then further the cycle of revenge and murder and regret and depression and yaddyadda. Both twins are obscenely traumatized, to be sure, so it goes without saying that for both of them, their dark pits of behavior wouldn't be nearly as bad as they are if they'd had better lives, or were born into the times of modern medicine and psychological therapy. But alas...

Anywho, the dissociative aspects in both of them are different forms of catatonia, just in two sides of the same coin; with Auron, hyperkinetic catatonia, so, prone to aggressive and violent, impulsive outbursts while already being out of his mind and not fully present WITH everything else mentioned before bouncing around in his mind; and with Hadrian, hypokinetic catatonia, which causes him to lose his grip on the present reality and shut inward, jumping between being completely unresponsive or being a bit so, but difficult to understand, disjointed and not "all there". Both forms are inherently dissociative and will won't be perfectly remembered once the episode is over with.

The "genes" that I routinely refer to is usually Auron's 'mania' from bipolar disorder, the manic depressive disorder they both exhibit and the bouts of catatonia, all of which are neurological yes but also trauma-based at the same time, as well as genetic; it's natural for their brains to do certain things due to factors outside their control, so whenever something really goes wrong, it tends to trigger it like a lightswitch, and Auron is coincidentally able to act on a bunch of impulsive thoughts because he is "conscious" while also being delirious and all around angry and revenge-seeking and emotionally hurt, and Hadrian just sits / lies there for days because he coincidentally does not possess the version of catatonia required to still be active and engaged.

One could make the argument that some of Hadrian's outbursts (especially the murderous kind) could be indicative of bigger mental / psychotic issues, but it gets murky. There's just so many factors at play. There's how they were raised, as emotionally-stunted Roman royal warrior-types with humongous things expected of them, there's the early childhood trauma on top of that, there's the fucking VAMPIRISM, and a bunch of grief and insanity in their lives that the lines get blurred. How much is just due to never learning how to control their impulses and emotions and how much is the consequence of truly inescapable reactions?

The world may never know ahaha.

In conclusion, their genes and their traumas clash constantly and create inverted combos that can be really difficult to experience and to live with for those around them. Because Auron exhibited more obvious signs and drew more attention, Hadrian slipped under the radar pretty easily in comparison. Auron was the "crazy one", not him. And while it's true that Auron has a few more things he's dealing with, it was always a mistake of Hadrian's for thinking there was nothing at all amiss in his own head, and ofc an objective oversight not to recognize that a lot of their issues were and continue to be the same condition / different coin sides of the same conditions, but nobody had that kind of knowledge back then. It simply wasn't understood. And then suddenly they're centuries upon centuries old and patterns of behavior are locked in like cement.

In complete conclusion, the Aelius twins remain two genetically unlucky, deeply troubled and traumatized human beings that never should have been granted everlasting life and instinctively murderous / genocidal impulses on top of it.

[fleursbae]

cruel summer — lando norris.

© fleursbae 2022, do not repost, modify or translate!

synopsis: after getting drunk, lando has no memories of what happened the other night. it was her turn to get drunk and make mistakes.

request: yes “hey love! hope you doing well. i absolutely love the taylor swift prompts you've got and I'd love to see how cruel summer goes up with lando norris x reader where reader and lando have been friends but things took a different turn. I'll leave the plot up to you and your creativity.sending big love and hugs x”

a/n: i absolutely loved this, it was so fun writing these two-part series and i hope you like this! i decided to combine this request and make this as a part two for “let’s get married” but it’s not really necessary to read the first part.

click here to read “let’s get married”

warnings: mentions of drinking alcohol, curse words.

wc: 1.8k.

tag list: @alternativemadchen @sikeyeehaw @teamkforeva @frenchyjuju @youkantebeserious @serenagiuppo @words-4u​

last night was a blank.

lando woke up with a headache. the worst headache he had in years and that wasn’t even the worst part. the worst part was the fact that he couldn’t remember a single thing about what happened, not a single memory. the last thing in his mind was the conversation that he had with Daniel, lando following his stupid advice and drinking, a lot.

the moment he woke up, he knew that he fucked up by acting like a stupid teenager who has never seen alcohol in their face. lando felt stupid, silly, and honestly, too bad for himself. never in his wildest dreams could have imagined himself acting so dumb like the way he did last night and the worst part was: he didn’t know if he did anything stupid or not, because he just simply couldn’t remember. for him, it was a shit show.

“i see that you finally woke up, do you feel like finally telling me why you drank so much last night to the point where I had to carry you around like a corpse, or do you prefer leaving me in the dark, hm?”

he couldn’t help but gasp. what did she mean by “carrying you around like a corpse”? last night was truly a mystery that he would never be able to solve.

“what are you talking about? did i do something stupid and embarrassed you? please tell me that I didn’t embarrass you last night, i’m begging you! did i say anything embarrassing to you?” he supplicated.

y/n stopped for a moment. she didn’t know if it would be appropriate to share with him all the things he drunkenly confessed to her, it didn’t seem fair to him and if she had to be completely honest, it was not fair to her either. It seemed a little too cruel to take advantage of the things he said while being that drunk.

“you didn’t.” she lied for his own sake. “you just danced a little weird but nothing that the cinematography industry never saw, they might even give you an invite you for the next season of dance moms, abby lee miller would be proud of your little performance!”

“oh shut up, you are kidding, right?”

“i wish, you were too drunk for your own good.” y/n laughed when lando hid his face “and at the top of the pyramid this week: lando norris”

it hurt her a little doing that but it was for a greater good. she didn’t want lando to feel bad about himself and she knew too well that he would, like the way he always felt when he did something stupid while being drunk and couldn’t remember. and honestly, she wanted for him to remember the first time he confessed his feelings, she didn’t want to be the only one who had memories of that night. y/n wanted for him to be sober for the next time he would admit his feelings.

“thank you.”

“for what?”

“for taking care of me last night and i’m sorry i was so stupid with all the drinking, i shouldn’t have done it.”

“it’s okay, at least i have all those memories to keep in my mind!”

after the conversation that they had, y/n once again had to leave him. It was another thing on her schedule, a small celebration with all the cast members and crew of her now winning movie. it wasn’t a celebration that she wanted to have but after everything that happened, she imagined that it was for the best and a needed time apart from him. y/n needed to clear her thoughts and would never be able to do that with lando on her side.

everything happened so fast and she didn’t even have space to process everything. in a short space of time, y/n won the biggest award of her career, her best friend got drunk and accidentally confessed his feelings to her which also made her realize that she felt the same way. she was more worried than ever: would that hurt their friendship? what would happen if they tried to date and things didn’t work out? would that be the end of their friendship? and the worst part: lando had no idea he did all those things.

it all seemed like a nightmare dressed like a daydream for her.

and that was how she decided to do the same thing he did last night: drink alcohol.

that night would be all about forgetting past mistakes, celebrating her deserved victory, and ignoring all of her problems – which seemed to be a lot of them.

was she supposed to feel like that after a very much wanted victory? was she supposed to feel blue after everything? she had so many questions and yet not so many answers. it was killing her slowly, the fact that her life went upside down on such short notice, the feeling she was getting was blue. it was definitely a cruel summer for her.

she started lightly, with something her co-star recommended: champagne. y/n wasn’t used to drinking, in fact, she could not remember one time she decided to drink alcohol so it was a nice, not so strong start for her.

“calm down, there! you don’t want to be drunk today, do you?” y/n heard one of her co-workers. she bluntly ignored him.

“well, it’s been one hell of a day, so yeah, i kind of want to get drunk.”

while getting all of those drinks, she sat beside the window, having those silly images of lando, always waiting for him to be waiting below for her. even though he confused her a lot, what was killing her made her want him even more.

it didn’t take her a lot of drinks to be completely drunk. and it didn’t take her a lot to call a cab and head herself home.

her way home felt like hell. y/n was drunk in the back of the car and the more she thought about it, the more her drunk brain wanted to cry. it started with a single tear dropping from her eye and it didn’t take long for her to start crying like a baby while heading home, scaring the driver driver, who didn’t know how to act in that situation.

at what point did her relationship with lando become like that? y/n didn’t want to keep secrets from him, in fact, she wanted to share all of her secrets with lando. all of her thoughts, feelings, secrets, fears. there wasn’t anything in the world that wanted more than to be his.

leaving the car was not an easy job, but snucking into her garden gates because she forgot her keys was even more of a hard task.

and when lando got that midnight call, he would have never guessed it was hers. the whole thing seemed a little suspicious: the blocked phone number, the drunk voice on the other side of the line, everything seemed a little too weird for him. lando was sure that it was a prank call until he recognized the voice.

“could you please, p-lease, pick me up? I had too, too much to drink tonight. i think I’m downstairs but I forgot my keeeys”

one thing he was certain with all those years while being friends with her was: she never drank. Not one single drop of alcohol had entered her body with all those years of friendship. y/n never had the habit of drinking, so when he finally recognized it was her, certainly lando got worried that something might have happened. so lando didn’t think twice, he quickly went downstairs to help her.

“what happened? are you drunk?”

“well” she laughed a bit, “i think i had too much to drink tonight.”

“why’s that? and were you crying? there’s makeup all over your face. are you okay?”

once he looked down, he realized the mess she was.

“here, let me tie your shoes, i don’t want you to get hurt because of something that stupid.” he said while getting down on his knees to help her.

“i’m fine”

“whatever you say, love”

“it is true, i’m fine.” she wasn’t fine. she wasn’t fine at all and he knew that. all she wanted was to go upstairs and cry and he also knew that. after all, he was her best friend and knew her too well.

“lando.”

“what?”

“i love you.” she screamed for whatever it was worth “ain’t that the worst thing you ever heard?”

he looked up grinning like a devil.

for a second, he thought he heard it wrong. he just simply couldn’t believe his ears. it wasn’t the worst thing he ever heard. it could never be the worst thing he ever heard, at all. it was all lando ever wanted to hear since the first day he met her.

lando got up on his feet and stared at her eyes for a second, admiring how pretty she looked under those streetlights. at that point, they weren’t friends anymore.

“could you please kiss me?” y/n begged as her life depended on that.

“i can’t kiss you right now, not like this, I won’t kiss you while you’re drunk, it’s not fair to you and not fair to me either.”

“you are soooo mean”

“I’ll do it in the morning, now let’s get you to your room, okay?” he smiled.

headache. hangover. feeling terrible. guilty. there weren’t enough words to describe her state in the morning. and even worse, the moment she opened her eyes, she remembered all the things she said to him and more than ever, she felt humiliated and the alcohol was the only one to blame.

“thank god you finally woke up, i was beginning to think you were going to sleep throughout the whole day”

“shut up, you are speaking way too loud”

“so, do you want to explain to me why were you that drunk tonight?”

she hid her face under the pillow.

“did you get drunk because i accidentally got drunk too and proposed to you at the party?”

y/n couldn’t believe her ears. did he remember everything and made her go through everything?

“don’t tell me you remembered all this time while i was getting pissed at a bar”

“well, do you want to?”

“what do you mean? what are you talking about? you are making me way confused right now.”

“do you want to get married to me with paper rings? i was drunk but i remember everything and I started to remember everything right after you left, can’t believe that i danced like that in front of meryl streep and you let me!”

she couldn’t help but smile. waking up like that, with lando waking her up seemed like a dream to her.

“well, i think we are pretty even now, don’t you think?”

“you didn’t answer my question, i’m waiting!”

“I do, actually”

he finally kissed her.

[sunfire-forever]

Punishment time part 2

Part 1

Pairing: The Boyz Juyeon x The Boyz Eric x Reader

Word count: 2.7k

Tags: smut, threesome, dom!juyeon, switch!eric, sub!reader, oral (receiving + giving) , 18+ , double penetrati0n, nipple play, usage of toys, swearing, teasing, just extremely filthy

Summary: After a wild night spent with your best friend's flatmate without your bestie knowing, you are coming back to their apartment. It is your birthday and they are waiting for you with a proper gift, making this night definitely one that you and your body will never forget.

-------------------------------------

You woke up to the morning sunlight shining from Juyeon's window to your face. Juyeon had his arm wrapped around you caressing your naked body under his blanket. You could still smell his parfume mixed with many other scents from the night before. His muscles around you made you feel so safe and sound. You needed a few minutes to realize that the past night was not a dream and you were thinking about if you could even walk from so much pleasure the man next to you gave you. You turned around to look at him. Juyeon was dead gorgeous. He was still sleeping yet his messy hair made him look so cute and innocent - completely opposite to what happened last night.

You looked at the clock and it was already 10:27am. Oh my goodness, you needed to go home! You didn't plan to have sex with your best friend's flatmate but even more you didn't plan to stay overnight. There were so many thoughts in your head - how should you behave after this? how will Eric react - does he already know? and what was the comment Juyeon said about Eric, was it true?

You needed to put away these thoughts for awhile and just get your ass out of the room before Juyeon wakes up. You put on your clothes, packed your things and quietly exited the room. You peeked in the room next door which was Eric's trying to see if he is sleeping but no one was there. After turning around and letting a sigh of relief, you went to put on your shoes. After tieing up your shoelaces where you needed to squat, you raised up again seeing 2 legs in front of you.

"Eric Sohn! What are you doing here?"

"Um it's my apartment I guess. You look messy, what happened to you? Here - your charger."

You completely forgot that you were supposed to meet because of the charger. Gosh, you've had luck since if didn't hear anything thinking you came for the charger.

"Thanks!" you said trying to look as less obvious as possible. "By the way, why do you have a cake in your hand?", you ask noticing him holding a cake as well.

"Hm, I wouldn't think you'd forgot your own birthday tomorrow but yeah I bought it for you"

Oh shit, that's true. Your birthday was tomorrow and you didn't think of it at all.

"Wow Eric, thank you! But it's too early to eat it now..."

"True, but you can come by in the evening and we can wait for midnight together just like we do every year."

"Sounds like a plan" you said.

"Yeah the cake was meant to be a surprise, y/n" - Eric said while accompanying you to the door, you already going outside. He gazed at you and made a dramatic pause.

"But I guess we need to think of another surprise for the night" he said slowly, while the door closing in front of your eyes watching Eric's mischievous smile get out of your sight.

---------

8:00pm. Juyeon and Eric's apartment.

You waited in front of the doorstep checking yourself out in the reflection of the door.

Every time you've entered this apartment you were in some sort of hoodies, sweaters, clothes for chilling out and relaxing.

But today, that was not the case.

You rang the bell and the door opened.

"Hey y/n what's up.. Ohhhhh myyy" - you heard Eric say in awe.

You took your birthday as a reason good enough to look smoking hot. Sexy. Seductive.

You wore a tight red see-through dress and black lacy bra and fishnet tights underneath.

You had a choker around your neck and you were smelling like roses. And yes, you were standing like this in front of your best friend. He doesn't need to know that you drank 3 glasses of soju before you came here. You just enjoyed this confidence and thought it's completely appropriate for your birthday. He also looked very handsome with a black unbottoned shirt.

You entered the apartment . "I'll go to the basement and get the beer", said Eric leaving your sight. You bent down to take your heels off and while squating you felt a big hand grabbing your butt.

"Hello princess."

You threw your heels on the side and stood up while the hand still grabbing your booty.

*Shit* you said in your head. This was unfair.

In front of you was Juyeon, looking like the most fuckable creature in the world. He had a black t-shirt and extremely tight leather pants on. His forehead was showing and he was looking at you like you're a treat he is just about to taste.

"Miss me?" he asked.

"Oh what do you think?" you replied moving his hand from your butt under your dress to your core. His hands were going over your cold skin and fishnet tights and when they reached the end point, you saw his expression change.

Maybe you decided to leave your panties home making his cold fingers directly over your core. This small thing made you notice his bulge becoming more evident making him go crazy even if he didn't want to show it much, his body revealed all signs. He leaned in for a kiss, but the moment got interrupted by the sound of Eric's steps approaching the living room from the basement.

"I brought the beer!" Eric shouted while you two got your hands off of each other. In the end, Eric doesn't know anything. You tried to act normal, although the chemistry and sparks between Juyeon and you were on fire.

An hour and 10 beers later, the three of you were all on the couch comfortably next to each other. In the beginning you were all just regularly sitting, but many laughs and celebratory cheers afterwards you were all laying down. You were in the middle and as the night approached, you comfortably turned around to your bestie Eric him hugging you from the back. You used to hug a lot, this was nothing new. He was also the one who liked skinship and sometimes you also played video games in this position. But as he was holding you in your arms and hugging you, he started doing something so far unknown. He took your palms and started slowly massaging them. This felt so good. You felt your body relaxing and at one point you even closed your eyes diving into this unfamiliar yet erotic sensation. You opened your eyes and saw Eric's head move much closer to yours, his soft lips being an inch away. But then you turned your hand around looking at Juyeon on the other side of the couch extremely furious. You were not touching him, but the way of how you were laying down with your legs very open made him looked at your bare pussy under your short dress.

You spread out your hand and took another beer, not breaking the eye contact with Juyeon. He looked jealous, irritated and needy.

He wanted to grab you from Eric's arms and use you to his own pleasure. You opened the bottle, yet the weird position made you... spill half of the bottle over you.

You and Eric immediately wanted to stand up looking at the mess. The beer spilled over you and your floor. Your top was so wet that the thin material completely revealed your stripped bralette as well as your hardened nipples after the reaction with the cold liquid. And while you were standing up Juyeon took a close look at your soaked body.

"Eric, where is the mop?"

"In the first drawer in my room."

"Cool, let me get it quickly"

You entered Eric's room and approached his shelf, opening the first drawer. You froze.

"Holy shit" you said being flabbergasted. You were looking at were definitely... not mops.

It was a drawer full of sex toys. Your eyes opened wide. Dildos, vibrators, chains, nipple clamps, rings and so many items you were not sure what they are. You had a few moments of blackout your brain not believing that your so far innocent best friend had a collection like this. You were staring at the items when you suddenly heard noise behind you.

"Oh well, well, what do have in here" you heard while turning around and seeing Eric at the front door.

"I told you the first drawer from above baby, not from below"

"I didn't know you're into these things, Eric", you replied.

"Oh look who's the one saying that. I also didn't know you were into being fucked raw the whole night. I couldn't sleep yesterday from your moans coming out from Juyeon's room"

"You... you heard it? I... I can explain"

"There is only one thing I want you to explain."

said Eric stepping closer and closer to you.

You heard a door slam in the back.

"Eric, Eric, Eric. We didn't agree to play like this. I still didn't give you permission to touch... what was mine." said Juyeon approaching you too and holding your chin up.

"Don't start whining once you receive your punishment pup. You'd be so powerless against me, begging and begging to cum for me but only I can decide when and how you will. You're mine and your body knows it, responding only to my touch I'll make sure you feel things beyond your wildest dreams." - said Juyeon... to Eric.

You witnessed Eric turning from a confident flirt to an ultimate sub carefully listening and obeying to every word Juyeon spoke out of his mouth. Damn, you knew Juyeon can make so many people wrapped around his finger but you never thought your best friend is one of them. Juyeon took Eric's chin and stared at the younger one, pulling him in for a wild kiss.

"But not today, pup. Today we are taking care of this birthday princess over here. She deserved to be handled well. Do you have a wish, baby?" Juyeon asked switching the attention to you.

"I only have one wish" you said, hearing the clock marking that the midnight has arrived.

"Fuck the hell out of me", you replied.

A second later Juyeon took your waist and pushed you relentlessly on the bed. He pulled your dress up and didn't even bother to take off your tights but just ripped a part of them making a hole exactly at your already dripping core.

"Happy birthday, beautiful" said Juyeon at the second where he slammed 3 of his fingers in you while his thumb hitting a sensitive spot on your clit.

"Ahhhhh fuck Juyeon" you moaned loudly, but soon you were shut up by Eric who started making out with you.

Eric's lips felt like cotton candy. They were so soft and plump but the tenderness didn't last long since all of a sudden the mood completely changed and the kisses started being faster, deeper and rougher, matching the pace of Juyeon's fingers. Eric's kisses felt forbidden, you never expected for you two to get closer to this level of intimacy. But damn, you couldn't complain since it felt so damn good. You felt your high was coming closer so you couldn't control yourself but whine and moan. Eric moved his lips to your neck, leaving juicy kisses, marking it as his territory. A few moments later, you felt your high coming up, your orgasm filling your entire body and your cum going all around Juyeon's fingers.

After you calmed a bit down, you realized your two men still have their clothes on. Now it's time to change it. You crawled up to Juyeon and soon later all his clothes were on the floor. His toned muscles and doll-like body turned you on even more, so you couldn't help yourself but start worshiping his cock, taking it all inside your mouth and deep throating it while swirling your tongue around it, making you hear his needy moans again. He was standing next to the bed, and you were on your fours when unexpectedly Eric came from the back and slammed his cock inside you without any prior notice. Juyeon's hands already stretched you well, but Eric's size made you see all the stars. Being in the doggy position made you feel different spots. Your mascara got completely smudged up from tears which started going while your body tried to get used to the sizes inside your mouth and your core. A few minutes and many thrusts later, you started clenching and you felt both Juyeon and Eric cum inside you, you simultaneously reaching your second orgasm and your body becoming weak to their core and collapsing on the bed.

"Look at our goddess taking us both so well." said Juyeon. He went out for a second and came back with a something in his hand. "Close your eyes kitten, I have a small surprise for you". All of a sudden your eyes went black and a second later, your body froze. And then at once you had both Eric and Juyeon on you, each of the guys giving attention your nipples. But this was a different kind of feeling - they took an ice cube in their mouth and while the cube being in the mouth they both mercilessly sucked and licked your nipples - the left one was Juyeon's and right one Eric's. It was their warm, tender lips stroking one of the most sensitive part of your body mixed with the freezing feeling of the cube giving you shivers all over your body.

After the ice cubes melted, Eric slowly stood up and came to his drawer. "Since you were so curious about it, shall we use some pretty toys on you, y/n?" pointing at his sex toy collection.

He took a big clit vibrator in his hand, handed it to Juyeon, which put it to the highest speed and placed it on the perfect spot. You've never used toys before and someone else using them on you turned you even more on. The vibrator did wonders, but just before you wanted to orgasm, Juyeon turned it off.

"What the fuck Juyeon, why did you stop?"

"You aren't allowed to cum until I allow you to."

You got angry. You knew he was jealous so you wanted to make him even more furious.

"And what if I want someone else to make me cum?" you said with a tricky voice, turning up to Eric and starting to ride him.

"Show me what you got, Eric" you said to your best friend, him controlling the pace and placing his hand around your neck pulling just as much as pressure for the choking to spice you up. You couldn't see Juyeon anymore.

All you could hear is noise from the drawer.

Probably he was putting the vibrator back, you thought. But instead he pulled lube out of Eric's drawer. He approached you and you knew it because you felt his warmth on your back. But you didn't want to say anything.

Maybe you should have, because Juyeon took the lube and prepared your second hole for his entrance. And at that moment, you had your best friend and your lover double penetrating you. You loved the attention, especially from someone like them which exactly knew how to pleasure a woman.

"Fuck, don't stop! Don't you dare to stop!" you screamed from the bottom of your lungs, sweat on your forehead, with your makeup completely ruined, watery eyes, looking like a slut that you are. They haven't stopped but continued ruining you up to the point where the biggest, most powerful orgasm in your fucking life hit you. You started squirting, messing up the whole bed and your men pulling their cocks and spitting their cum all over your chest.

All three of you were laying on Erics bed, trying to catch your breaths. Soon after, you fell asleep, cuddled in between Juyeon and Eric.

"Do you do this often?" you asked Eric

"Do you expect less from two porn stars?" he answered, leaving you without words.

[bangtanpromptsfics]

anemone.

dialogue prompt #5: “We are not getting married!”

pairing: jungkook x reader

genre: established relationship, angst

word count: 1,173

warnings: none

summary: you go for vacation at las vegas with your boyfriend and the boys and some haywire was well expected, but it's much crazier than you thought.

a/n: another angst oneshot!! I will start writing taehyung x reader soon. my friend chooses these prompts for me!! this is lowkey inspired from the sitcom, friends :)

masterlist

“We are not getting married!”, you groan, hands clutching your skull, “especially in Vegas and definitely not like this!”.

You knew shit was about to go down the moment Namjoon planned this trip, especially a full night at the casinos. Your wildest guess was one of them going naked in public, but it's worse. Jungkook proposed to you. Out of fucking thin air. In a bar. While he's drunk.

Anything but this.

“Baby why!?”, your boyfriend slurs. You snatch the glass of booze from him before he loses more of his mind.

“You are not in your right mind Jungkook”.

He ends up being a little grumpy at your answers. The boys were in their own worlds of being drunk. Jimin had passed out on the reception couch an hour ago. So basically there isn't anyone else to hammer sense into Jungkook’s brain. And you can't help but grow anxious.

Even though Jungkook is saying this out of a hazy mind, you can't help but wonder if he had been thinking about this.

To begin with, Jungkook wasn't your fiance. But you were indeed in a very serious relationship for the past five years. If Jungkook has to propose to you someday, you would be affirmative of course, but does he think about this when he is sober?

“You don't love me?”, he asks, trying to fill up his glass which you stop by placing a palm over it.

“Jungkook… I do love you. But please understand baby you are not in your right mind. We'll… we'll talk about this later okay? Let's just get back to hotel”. You take hold of his arm but he yanks it away.

“No! You said you don't want to marry me!”. His eyes are glistening. Does he think you wouldn't want to be his wife? Does he think you don't see a future with him? It scares you now. Of course the day at the altar when he stands there in a tux and vows to be your husband would be the best day of your life without doubt. But now you feel the more you oppress, the more insecure you are making him.

You had been anxious all these while. So you try to breathe before talking again.

“Let's go back and talk okay? ”, you say softly but you don't touch him because he is distancing from you.

“Thank God you guys are here— woah what's up with Kook?”, Namjoon barges in, the only slightly sober one left. Thank fuck.

“He had way too many shots. Joon will you help me get him back to our hotel room? ”

“Sure”.

Jungkook doesn't bat a lash at you the entire drive, and the same goes on at the hotel. He throws his jacket somewhere on the floor and plops straight into the bed.

“Kookie… are you mad? ”, you ask softly, standing at his end of bed. He doesn't answer again and turns around showing you his back.

So you nudge on his shoulder very lightly and that's when it hits you that he's crying.

“Kookie it's not what you think baby!” you rush, trying to touch him more, but he moves away.

After several attempts of trying to get his attention, you see him falling into slumber so you let him be. But now you sit with a very heavy chest. It takes several hours for you to fall asleep, and eventually you do.

__

Jungkook stirs, trying to get his throbbing head in control. Burying his head in pillows several times, he later realizes the space beside him is empty. And it's cold too, meaning you had been awake for a while.

When he sees you come into the room from the shower he smiles.

He definitely doesn't remember.

And now you don't know if you should bring this up or not.

“Fuck my eyes hurt so fucking much”, he groans, rubbing them aggressively before looking into the vanity mirror in front of the bed, “Shit, it's so swollen, was I crying last night?”.

You turn around, caught with your words. And he notices that your eyes are puffed too.

Fear in him grows as he gets out of bed immediately and approaches to cup your face, “Babe tell me what happened last night”, he demands. From the looks of it all he could comprehend he pulled some sick shit. The last thing he remembers is discussing about taking shots with Taehyung.

“Babe please tell me. If I had hurt you I'm so sorry. I swear I don't remember anything”.

“You… you proposed t-to me last night”, you say. Head low and shaky breath.

Jungkook freezes on spot, his hands coming down from your cheeks.

“And… and… what did you say? ”. He takes a few steps back because he doesn't know how to act. It was his mistake in the first place. But he fears something else.

“I said no”, you whisper. Fuck yesterday's incident was still hurting too much to be able to speak.

“I-I understand…”, he trails off.

“Baby it's not what you think! I said no because you were not in your right mind. Things like this are a big decision and I want you to be fully aware what you're doing. Please understand. I do see a future with you Jungkook. It's my dream I promise”. And with that you breakdown.

He is quick to wrap you inside his embrace. He feels so warm.

“I'm sorry I put you through it love. I'm never drinking again God”.

“And you said I don't love you”, you pout, finally looking up at him.

He wants to slap himself for saying bullshit. He is perfectly aware how strong you feel for him and never in million years he would question that. Good luck Jeon, you stoned yourself and went ahead and said it anyway.

He doesn't have a good apology for all this, so he kisses you instead. You gladly part lips for him, and he makes sure to give it to you just the way you like, slight sucking at the lips.

“I'm so sorry Y/n...I didn't mean a word of it”.

“It's alright”, you smile, finally feeling ease. You plant slow kisses on his mouth for a few minutes, stopping when Jungkook comes to say something.

“I-I just want to say Y/n, when such a day comes… I'll respect your decision… whatever it is”, he swallows a lump down.

Though he says it, he knows it'll break his heart if you said no. He had been deciding upon rings for the past months with Taehyung. He has it safe in the pocket of his tux inside the closet behind you. He is so prepared. It kills him to know he accidentally drained his own hardwork.

“Shut up Kook. Don't think a lot about it alright?”. You smile, so that he does too, “Forget about it and kiss me now”, you grab his collar, pulling him close. Warmth of his breath close to your forehead.

“Fuck I love you so much baby”.

Thank you so much for reading!! ♡

Original Content of ©bangtanpromptfics

[boldlyvoid]

2- What song(s) remind you of this character?

I feel like we've talked about this a lot but I need to know more. Mine is like every Taylor Swift song, but especially The Archer, Innocent, Gold Rush, Sparks Fly, A Perfectly Good Heart, You Belong With Me, The Lakes...

okay I'll stop but I can go all night

you mean for spencer right? because the taylor songs that remind me the most of him are:

the way i loved you - i listen to that and i imagine were high school sweethearts who got married young and all my friends are jealous that we found each other but we also have the dumbest fights because we're idiots and the we're so in love that we act insane... "a rollercoaster kind of rush i never knew i could feel that much, and thats the way i loved you"

untouchable - okay just imagine the sex is so good that when you close your eyes you see their name written in stars? thats spence.

the other side of the door - once again, angsty love that is rocky but just works... spencercore "i said leave but all i really want is you, to stand out side my window throwing pebbles screaming im in love with you. wait there in the pouring rain, coming back for more, and don't ya leave cause i know all i need is on the other side of the door"

Innocent - the title says it all

Last Kiss/Come Back Be Here - i've always heard these song and envisioned that her lover died in a plane crash? i have no idea but that's been my thought since i was like 12?? and i can't help but think like kissing him before a case and then he just never comes home again.

Long Live/Ours/Superman - they give me office romance spencer vibes

Red - any song that mentions someone as a colour makes me think of him, cause his favorite colour is purple right and he's such a blue boy he's so sad and if you just rosy him up a bit he'll be a pretty purple. yes this is how my brain works

The Last Time - asking him to stay, asking him to just pick you for once over his stupid fucking job that is chipping away all the best parts of him... "You find yourself at my door, Just like all those times before. You wear your best apology, But I was there to watch you leave and all the times I let you in just for you to go again. Disappear, when you come back everything is better."

I know Places/Clean/ This Love/ Wildest Dreams - i like to listen to 1989 and envision getting clean together and finding a calm serenity in the other person and being okay.

I did something bad but it's him poisoning the inmates

Gorgeous... you get it

King of my Heart is my #1 spencer song but i'm doing this in album order so it's down here. THAT SONG IS ABOUT SPENCER OKAY I DONT TAKE ANY CRITICISM

dancing with our hands tied/dress - fuckin after the academy banquet

False God/The Archer/ Afterglow - he really do be the love of my life

the 1 - i switched meds and then started watching cm and suddenly life got better so

Cardigan - once again thinking about him leaving me and only having his cardigan left

Peace - loving him despite everything

this is me trying - obviously

invisible string - i think he would believe in soulmates

Renegade - he really would make me say "boy get your shit together so i can love you already!!"

[threeletterslife]

CHjakldfjskANA I am lowkey embarrassed to say that I am confused by pt 2 of Ignis Fatuus ;-; I get what happens literally, but I'm pretty sure I'm missing out on all of the more underlying messages and what the ending is supposed to represent and what you were intending to convey ;-; I guess I'll just talk about parts that I thiNk I understood and hopefully won't make me sound like an idiot :D I really liked how the endings to both the dream and reality were paralleled,

but houf I was kind of exasperated in the beginning when everyone was dying on the hypothetical trip to the hospital. I always kind of felt like they would just let Y/N die, because logically speaking, even if they ended up at the hospital, none of them are really qualified to treat TSS so they would just be going on a suicide mission because as shown, zombies are e v e r y wh e r e :D So when it was revealed that was only a dream, I was like yAY thank goodness :,,) The part at the end before

Y/N dies when Jungkook corrects her saying “it’s did well and not did good” was a reaLLY nice way to end things though :,) jklsfjkls I don’t know, Chana pls send help+explanations because I’m definitely only understanding the very surface level ideas of Ignis Fatuus D: I think the very vEry ending though is a big part of the whole Ignis Fatuus thing though because back in pt 1 in Target Jungkook was like omg yes don’t worry Y/N things will be over and we’ll definitely be able to play baseball

again without any zombies around, but aaa Chana why are there thRee “endings”,, that’s making me think there’s something very elaborate about how all of the endings could be tied together/are related :,D 🌻 anyways I think? the first part to my ask might've not gone through because it didn't have the "thank you, your ask has been received" message when I clicked ask but o well :,) it was just me lowkey embarrassing myself because I am confused on the ending of Ignis Fatuus :,)

[SPOILER WARNING!]

GOOD NEWS! the first part of your ask WAS received!! and omg yes i totally understand ignis fatuus pt 2 was kinda hectic so lemme just clear up the confusion ✨

i think the whole ignis fatuus stORY is a bit hard to digest. the only ‘realistic’ element in the story is really that the members self-quarantined LOL. other than that, i really took inspiration from the office (though it may not seem like that). jungkook and yn are the only “normal” ones in the group of eight just like jim and pam were the only normal ones in an office full of crackheads LMAO. i just thought it would be cool to tell the story of two normal pple stuck with six other crazies (all equally obsessed with something different. i mean namjoon studying DURING the apocalypse?? seokjin obsessed with the kitchen? hoseok obsessed with his secretary??) and i chose to go for a very subtle romance so it wouldn’t overshadow the other dynamic characters

to elaborate on the endings!

the first one (the one that yn dreams): only in her wildest dreams would the seven men yn’s learned to love and live with DIE to save her. i mean, in a sick, twisted way, isn’t that what so many romance movies depict? the knight sacrifices his life to save his princess. it’s shit that only happens in your head. it’s tragic and stupid, yes, but also honorable in it’s own way. maybe yn subconsciously wanted all seven men to help save her life (even though it wouldn’t logically make sense). but maybe she wanted a knight in shining armor. i mean, isn’t that what media brainwashes women to think? yn’s dream is her subconscious acting up. she’s a helpless woman (sick from a mf bacterial infection that women mostly get) and she must depend on men to save her. but the end of her dream concludes that it’s not a matter of who saves who. some people just can’t be saved. yn doesn’t have a knight in shining armor. even before she got sick, she is a strong, independent woman. jungkook offers her emotional support, but he never outwardly saves her from any disasters. in fact, in part 1, yn is the on who saves jk. maybe, in yn’s subconscious, she wants to be saved. who doesn’t? it’s not a female v. male thing. being saved just means doing less work (and who doesn’t want that?). the savior, on the other hand, must go through the trauma and carry the responsibility of another’s life. maybe that’s why yn had her dream! another, more obvious reason yn’s dream turned out that way may be because that’s her worst fear—watching everyone she cared about die in front of her eyes (but also being too helpless to be able to stop it). she’s also afraid of dying alone, which she did in her dream. you’re absolutely right though! the second part of ignis fatuus is supposed to make you feel exasperated—frustrated and pissed, even. it’s just supposed to be nonsense, honestly. just stupid shit happening in rapid succession. it’s literally a fever dream. and also a dream carefully crafted by yn’s subconscious

a lot of the ‘deeper’ meaning is very subjective, though! and even as the writer, my analysis is still subjective. you can honestly analyze ignis fatuus in so many other ways. no analysis is wrong. and it’s also perfectly fine to have no analysis at all! 

the second ending (with yn actually dying) is easier to explain. it’s a direct contrast from yn’s dream where everyone was trying to be the hero. reality is different. even at the end of part 1, joon and jk knew that they wouldn’t be able to take yn to the hospital. yoongi even knew yn would die. they wouldn’t even think of such an outrageous idea to go to the hospital at all. they may have hinted taking yn to the hospital only to make her feel better, to make her feel safe. but they would’ve never actually done it. the plan was always to let her die in the house (as sad as it sounds). but there was really nothing left to do! as you said, none of them (even joon and tae) is qualified to treat tss (nor do they have the medical equipment to do so). the second ending is more of the closure that the first ending didn’t provide. yn wished to die in jk’s arms in the first ending and she got what she wanted in the second ending. but i still didn’t exactly think ending the story with yn’s death (tWICE) would be the best. something didn’t feel right. so i felt like i had to add the third ending for better closure

and you’re totally right! i connected the third ending to what jk and yn had talked about in target. this is essentially a glimpse of their dreams come true. something that didn’t necessarily happen, but something that the readers can imagine and feel at peace with. i thought it was good to wrap up such a traumatic part 2 with something lighter, something sillier and something happier. ignis fatuus is a mf roller coaster. and the title itself ‘ignis fatuus’ literally means something deceptive/deluding. i think part 2 encompassed that well

as for the purpose of this story? to answer the question you may be having, “if yn died after this whole ass journey,,, what was the mf POINT?” maybe there isn’t a point. maybe there is no rhyme or reason. maybe i just told a story as it is. kind of like a reference to waiting for godot but on the less indifferent side. BUT! i would honestly argue that there IS a point! i think the relationship yn made with the seven very distinct men is special. the seven of them are depictions of very stereotypical men. a nerdy med school student, a grumpy bus driver, an impatient businessman, a spoiled daddy’s money lawyer, a scaredy-cat cop, an obsessive chef and a too-perfect-to-be-true baseball player. i think part 1 is interesting to see how the eight of them have created this synergy together. it’s also interesting to see in part 2 how yn twists the men’s stereotypes to fit in the fever dream narrative

ignis fatuus is one of my more depressing stories. i had the idea since january of 2019 so i spent quite a bit of time thinking about it before i decided to write it. i didn’t think i’d end on a lighter note, but i’m happy it turned out that way. 

aNYWAYS sorry this turned out so long 😭😭😭i guess i rambled too much again oOPS. but i swear you’ll get a break from all this depressing writing LOL. i’m not posting another official story until january 15th! (and GOOD NEWS that story is going to be FLUFF!) 

as usual thank you sm for such a kind message 🥺🥺