#i'll always reblog tara

[violentdelightsandviolentends]

Vice.

Synopsis - Everyone on the team has their vices. It just so happens that yours is sat across the table looking at you.

Pairing - Luke Alvez x Female Reader

Warnings - smut. cursing. luke has a gorgeous filthy mouth.

Age Rating - 18+

Word Count - 1.6k

Author's Note - my baby my baby my BAAAAAABY!! I have been in love with this man for years and years and I can't believe I haven't written more for him. if you ever have a luke request, please send it to me. love him with my whole heart <3

as always, reblogs, comments and feedback (even anonymous feedback!!) are immensely appreciated!! your reblogs are the only way to circulate my fics, which keeps me going <3

Masterlist. Inbox.

Vice - a weakness of character or behaviour; a bad habit. "Cigars happen to be my father's vice."

✵  ✵    ·　 ✵ 　　 *  · ✵

"Italian food."

The entire team laughs, faces illuminated by the warm yellow lights in Rossi's backyard.

"Yeah, no shit," Tara retorts, looking pointedly at Dave. "Doesn't take a behavioural analyst to figure that one out."

"Look, you asked the question, I answered."

He reclines back in his chair and takes a sip of his wine, looking around the table.

"Okay Tara, you go. What's your vice?"

She chuckles to herself before confessing.

"Super steamy period romances."

Everyone bursts into more laughter.

"Wait, what?"

"What kind?"

She's clutching at her sides as she answers.

"All kinds! Movies, books, TV shows. If it has corsets and sex, I'm in."

Your cheeks are aching from smiling so hard. You're not sure who first raised the initial question, but it's really allowed you to get to know each other a little bit deeper.

"Okay, enough about me. Simmons, what's your vice?"

"I have six kids. I don't have time for a vice."

He sounds serious, but he's grinning as he says it.

"I think the six kids are a result of an old vice."

The words leave your mouth before you can stop them, several glasses of wine almost obliterating your verbal filter. Your team howl with laughter.

"No comment," Matt wheezes, wiping tears from his eyes. "Golfing is a safer option now. No risk of unplanned surprises."

"I had to change mine after kids, too," JJ chimes in. "I used to smoke cigarettes after bad cases, but I can't anymore. What kinda mom would I be if I lectured the boys about the dangers of nicotine, and then got caught chain smoking in the backyard?"

"A cool one," you shrug, yelping when she jokingly punches you in the arm.

"What about you, hotshot?" she asks, the whole team turning their attention to you. "What's your vice?"

You desperately avoid any eye contact, trying to play it cool. You just know Luke has that glint in his eye as he looks at you pointedly.

✵  ✵    ·　 ✵ 　　 *  · ✵

"Oh, fuck," you groan, fingers threading into the dark curls of his hair.

"Shhh, honey," he murmurs, lifting his head from between your legs to look up at you. "You and I both know how much trouble we'll be in if we get caught."

He dives back in, tongue gliding and flicking all the spots that make you keen. You slap one hand over your mouth, the other grappling to hold onto the leather beneath you.

"Bet you'd like that, wouldn't you?" he taunts, condescension dripping from his tone. "The thrill turns you on, doesn't it, baby? The risk of getting caught only makes you hotter."

You whine against your palm, bucking your hips to urge him to keep going.

"What do you want, princesa? Tell me what you want and I'll give it to you."

He loves this. Loves hearing you beg. Loves having you relinquish complete control and let him take care of you. Loves that he can turn you, the most independent, headstrong woman he knows, into a whining, needy mess.

"Fingers," you croak out. "Make me come, Luke, please."

He grins up at you like the cat who got the cream, self satisfied smirk never leaving his lips.

"Okay, baby," he soothes. "Since you asked so pretty."

He slides two fingers into you with embarrassing ease, crooking them in the way he knows you like.

"Oh, sweet girl, what would the team think? Huh? What do you think they'd say if they saw you like this, letting me finger fuck you in the backseat of my car in the parking garage?"

He's muttering lowly, under his breath, but you hear him clear as day. He loves to patronise you, tease you, get under your skin. In everyday life, he treats you with the utmost respect. In bed, not so much. You love it.

"Couldn't even wait until we got home. Poor baby, just had to take the edge off."

His eyes meet yours, like a magnetic force. His gaze is so dark, it has you squirming in place.

"It was the shirt," you choke out. "Fucking shirt."

"Hmm?" he hums against you, the vibrations pulling you closer to the edge.

"Your shirt," you moan as his thumb finds your clit. "Makes your arms look so, fuck, so big."

Oh, you shouldn't have said that. You can practically see his ego inflating.

"I'll let you wear it tomorrow morning, if you want. If you can still walk by then, that is."

You're right on the precipice, orgasm almost within reach. If he keeps talking to you like this, you'll be at the finish line in no time.

"Oh, I've got a better idea. Why don't I fuck you in it?"

The idea makes your head spin, sending you straight into your climax. Sharp white heat licks up your spine, curling your toes and arching your back. Your grip tightens in his hair and he groans, low and honeyed.

"That's it, baby," he's murmuring. "Ride it out. Good girl."

You finally relax, melting into the leather seats. Luke crawls from his position to lean over you, resting his body onto yours. He kisses you gently at first, then dirtier as you come back to yourself.

"My place or yours?" he whispers against your lips.

"Yours is closer."

"Mine it is."

✵  ✵    ·　 ✵ 　　 *  · ✵

"Hello? Earth to Hotshot?"

JJ nudges you playfully, grinning at you from ear to ear.

"What you thinking about?"

"Nothing," you stutter, clearing your throat. "Nothing at all."

You make the mistake of lifting your gaze from your lap. There, staring at you from across the table, is Luke Alvez. You almost wish you could slap that smug smirk off of his face.

"Come on, girl!" Tara hollers.

"Everyone has a vice," Spencer begins. "You have to. Especially in our line of work. We have to have some kind of outlet. Some sort of release."

Release. You almost choke on your wine, patting yourself on the chest.

"Yeah, no. I, uh, I like British reality TV. I guess that's mine."

The team laugh, everyone teasing you relentlessly. You risk a glance at Luke, and regret it immediately. He runs his tongue over his bottom lip and chuckles, knowing look in his eye. You're petrified for a moment that he can read your mind.

"Okay then Spence. Your turn," you prompt, desperate to take the attention off yourself.

Spencer starts rambling about quantum physics, and you breathe a sigh of relief.

Relief.

✵  ✵    ·　 ✵ 　　 *  · ✵

"Yeah, this is what you needed, isn't it baby?"

You try to respond, but Luke's huge hands wrapped around your throat are making it a little difficult.

"My poor sweet girl, just needed some relief huh? You sick of being in charge all the time? You want me to take care of you?"

His tone is low and melted, the timbre of it settling into your bones. All you can do is whine and nod your head in response.

His hips repeatedly snap into yours, his body melded to you. He's completely smothering you with his weight, but you don't mind. You like the closeness.

You lean up to kiss him, allowing him to slip his tongue into your mouth. He's swallowing your moans, leaning his head forward to rest against yours.

"Fuck, you sound so pretty," he groans. "You gonna come for me, mama? Give me what I want?"

"Yes," you breathe. "Yes. Please, baby. Please."

"Who am I to deny you when you beg so fucking sweet?"

The hand that's not around your throat snakes between your sweat slicked bodies to rub circles on your clit, throwing you over the edge.

Your back arches, hips writhing on Luke's soft cotton sheets. You're squeezing him so tight he's seeing stars.

"Oh fuck baby, oh fuck."

Luke goes boneless, dropping his head into the crook of your neck. He releases his grip on your throat and wraps both arms around you, pressing you together impossibly closer.

"We get better at this every time," he chuckles.

You smack him jokingly, before bursting into laughter. Soon, the two of you are crying happy tears, revelling in the afterglow.

✵  ✵    ·　 ✵ 　　 *  · ✵

"I'm gonna get a refill. Anyone need anything from the kitchen?"

You stand from your seat and make your way inside, taking note of the replies.

"I'll help you," Luke says, rising to join you. Neither of you see the way everyone at the table looks at each other knowingly.

You're barely through the door when you feel him against you, wrapping his arms around you from behind. He presses a kiss onto your shoulder, murmuring in your ear.

"I'm your vice, aren't I?"

You shake your head, breathing out a laugh.

"In your dreams, Alvez."

He nips at your neck before continuing.

"Admit it. I'm your dirty little bad habit that you just can't kick."

You turn in his arms to face him, running your fingers through his hair.

"Talk the talk all you want, Luke. You and I both know this works both ways."

Your quirk your brow at him, and he leans in and kisses you chastely.

"Old habits die hard, huh?" he grins.

"Wouldn't have it any other way," you smirk back.

Outside, the team decide they'll continue to let you both lie to them for a little while longer. It's more fun for everyone that way.

[russellsppttemplates]

A little hope (Lando Norris) (Part 1)

Lando will give you all the time you need if it means you will work things out

Note: english is not my first language. I don't think I've ever written a piece without closure/closing off the subject like this, so constructive thoughts are appreciated... might do a part two depending on how this one goes, let me know your thoughts on it! ✨️

Thank you so much to everyone who likes and reblogs, your feedback is appreciated 🤍 and I'm taking requests so if you have any ideas or concepts you want to share, feel free to do so as I'll try to get to them the best I can!

my masterlist

Tw: mentions a couple's fight, self-deprecation moments, body image insecurity, signs and symptoms of anxiety

Tag list: @myloverjk-blog

"Here, gorgeous", Lando said as he opened the door for you, letting you in first and following suit, finding your places around the table as the meeting was about to start.

"Thanks, love", you whispered as you set your things down on the table, turning on your laptop as you gathered everything you needed to show them.

"Whatever you want to do, we'll do", Lando noted a while into the meeting already. He didn't know that much about graphic design, so if his graphic designer said they should do it, they were going to.

The frown on your face, however, didn't seem to agree, "I spoke to the marketing guys, as well", you looked at Anna as she nodded, "and they think this is also the best strategy if we want to expand it to this market", you clarified.

"Then that's how it's going to go, Y/N", Callum asserted, noticing your slightly antsy posture as you moved on to the next point of discussion.

This had been happening for a while, the thoughts plaguing you with the fact that, in the simples of terms, you worked for your boyfriend. While the relationship had nothing to do with how you got the job and position, and inside the team, no one seemed too phased by it, part of you wondered if you were taken differently because of your relationship.

"Alright, Y/N?", Tara said, calling you back to planet Earth, "yes, sorry. But I agree with that, yes, but could we do this earlier, maybe this week? It would match up with all the dates we have", you answered, earning everyone's approval as they booked the shoot for Friday.

A knock on the door startled you as a woman peeked, "I'm sorry, I'm looking for Anna? From Marketing?", she asked, looking at you, "are you her?", she pointed her finger to you.

"She's my girlfriend, Y/N, she's our graphic designer", Lando said with a big smile.

"That's Anna", you said as the ginger haired girl raised her hand, "I'm Y/N", you murmured the last part.

The uneasiness took over your body again when you noticed the woman's look directed at you, a mixture of a silent scoff and a despised expression.

"Do you need a ride home, baby?", Lando asked once the meeting ended, "I have to go somewhere before going home, but thanks anyway", you said, kissing his lips chastely and bidding goodbye to everyone.

"Is she alright? She seemed off today", Max commented as he saw your interaction with his bestfriend, "this project had been taking a lot out of her, she's been tired, that's all", he said as he looked at your back as you walked away from them, "at least I hope it's that".

Only it really wasn't that, and with your calendar and Lando's calendar, you only saw eachother again on the day of the shoot.

The fight you had the day before still resonated with you and Lando, each of you measuring your words and how you had behaved.

"In Quadrant, you are my superior and I respect that", you pointed between you two, "but I'm my own person and if there's something I say, I want to be heard as me, Y/N, graphic designer for Quadrant", you cleared, "And in the meetings, if I give an idea, I want it to be heard and seen as coming from a graphic designer with experience and knowledge, not your girlfriend who you're afraid will get hurt if you say no and always let me get my way", you explained.

"But who said that I don't respect you like that? Because I do! I've considered every idea you've said like I'd consider them if somebody else said them!", Lando attempted, "do you think my love for you is not genuine? Do you think my appreciation for you or how much I value, as a person and as a member of the team, depends on what? What do you think this is?", Lando snapped, looking angrier than you've ever seen him. He usually kept a calm stance no matter how stressful the situation was, so the slight raise in his and his tone was enough to show he wasn't his usual self.

"Is it my fault you are my girlfriend? Are we putting this relationship, our relationship, in a basket of cons for us and for our lives?", he sounded genuinely hurt at his admission.

You didn't mean it that way, and you knew he knew that, but the fact that his mind went there and considered it enough for him to say it out loud hurt you.

Despite Tara's insistence that you could be one of the models for the hoodie she claimed was made for you, you declined the invitation, feeling that it would only add to your self deprecation and the very few comments you had seen online about how "dating Lando has landed you a great gig when so many people are looking for jobs themselves". You weren't also in the best terms with your boyfriend, and since he was modelling too, it would hardly be a good idea to be so close to eachother whilst still working in front of the team.

"We printed the backdrop you sent us, Y/N!", the photographer, James, and his colleague, Kai, called for you as you went to inspect the piece. It wasn't greatly detailed, but had certain points already measured so the editing and designing would be easier for you once you go the pictures back from them.

"I've never done it like this myself, but a friend of mine from university has done this before and he said it was so much easier and the models can move freely as long as they're within the frame", you explained, sharing knowledge in case they ever found themselves with a similar issue in need of this solution.

So absorbed in the conversation about different techniques and the words they had done before, you missed Lando arriving to the studio along with Max who had started making sure everything was running as scheduled.

"First, it's model two and three", you said as you looked at the schedule Max held, "so that's...", you trailed off, looking again in the list to make sure you were calling the right names, "Lucy and Lando", you stated, looking around for them and seeing the boy laugh at something she had said.

"Guys!", Max yelled, "it's your turn", he whistled, grabbing their attention so they could get in position.

James kept telling them what worked best as Kai worked with the lights, carefully readjusting and pointing out whenever they weren't on the frame you had specified.

"Now it's just the male models", Kai said as Lucy stepped down.

"I'm sorry to bother, but do you think we can bring out the snack table around now?", she questioned as she clipped her hair back, not wanting to mess with the work that was done on the short blonde locks, "I woke up later than I wanted and I had to rush here so I didn't have much for breakfast", she cringed.

"I think we can, yes. There's coffee in there, too, so I might join you", you smiled, walking alongside her to the table the catering team had set up. You were planning to spend the whole morning in there, so food and drinks were ordered to keep everyone happy and content.

"Rough night?", Lucy asked as she say you make a triple latte from the expresso machine.

That would be a way to put it, you thought. You hated leaving things unresolved with anyone, but knowing you and Lando went to sleep without knowing where you stood, it was hard for you to close your eyes and fall asleep despite the tiredness you felt. You rolled in your bed countless times, changing the pyjamas you were wearing three times until you accepted that the choice of clothing wasn't what was keeping you from falling asleep. In total, you probably slept four hours, and you were hoping the coffee would help with that.

"I remember when me and Lando used to go out, there was this week where it was four nights!", she smiled, stirring the hot tea in her cup as she took one of the small sandwiches.

"You and Lando used to go out? I didn't realise", you asked, the curiosity killing you and the dread to know the answer even more.

"I mean going out as in out of the house and into clubs, parties and such", she laughed brightly, and even that didn't seem to settle your heart, "we found out we have mutual friends that work for the same chain of clubs. We never slapped a label on it, I think neither of us wanted the attachment or rules you had to follow, you know? He's always wanted to be free on his endeavours and do as he pleases".

"Sure", you gulped, drinking the hot coffee as you thought about her words, not going to far, probably for your own good, since you heard something fall, "I better go see what that is, excuse me", you smiled lightly.

As it turned out, there was a piece of metal holding the backdrop that had a smaller piece holding it together that wasn't the right size, "we have to tools in there, let me just change it quickly", you said, "you guys can go and grab a coffee and some snacks, they're really good", you offered, "I'll sort out the programming for the next set while I'm at it, too".

Carrying the piece to the room where you kept the tools, you turned on your laptop and ran the code, fixing the metal piece in the mean time when you heard someone walk in the room, "was the coffee that bad? I- Oh, hi", you muttered, seeing Lando walk in and sit in front of you as you worked on the table.

"Can we talk, please?", Lando wondered. Even though he was clearly tired and his usual bright eyes had required the makeup artist to apply eye drops on him twice already, he still looked as handsome as ever. His curls was bouncy and the green coloured hoodie was a perfect match against his tanned skin and the minimal jewellery he had on.

"Sure", you asked, setting the screwdriver down and looking at him.

"I want to apoligise if I made you feel unworthy, professionally and personally. It was never my intention, Y/N. I want to be there for you, and I want to protect you and help make sure nothing bad happens, okay? I'd hate to be the reason you feel bad, baby.

"But I also need you to tell me what's wrong, because I know something is bothering you and I don't care who I have to call or what I have to do to help, but you need to tell me", he stated.

Your eyes started to feel tight and threatened to spill tears you were sure had been building up for more than a week, "I'm a confident woman, I know what I'm worth", you reasoned, "growing up left from what society thinks women should behave and look like, I've had to grow thick skin and be confident in what I do. It's not that you've had other partners or flings before, it's the way I'm being labelled as your girlfriend. Suddenly, I lost my name, my identity and I'm something to someone, that's what people see.

"I love you, and I love being with you. I've had so many opportunities that I wouldn't have had in other jobs and in other relationships, but I'm not sure losing who I am is a fair price to pay", you added. "I need to think this through. I'm not in the right state to argue this and risk saying something I don't mean and hurt you in the process. I don't want to hurt you, Lando, and I don't won't to be hurt either, I'm sorry", you sighed, looking into his colourful eyes.

"I love you, Y/N, so much", he said as he took a step forward, testing the waters and not getting resistance from you which led him to press his lips on your forehead, depositing a slow and soft kiss there, "I don't want to hurt you either, but... Think about it, okay? Really give it some thought because there's a way and we will find it", he attempted, realising it wasn't his place to tell you how you should feel about something and finding a common ground.

"Sorry to interrupt, guys, but we need your opinion on something, Y/N", Kai asked, sympathetically smiling as you excused yourself from the room and back to the studio area.

Lando went outside to cool off a little, thinking about your discussion and taking the opportunity that he wasn't needed inside for a while.

Had he been a pushover? Was that how you felt? You hadn't been yourself in the past two weeks, but he had put it down to the fact that you had been to the race with him and then Quadrant had this project that you wanted to see through from begging to end and it was on a tight schedule. You wouldn't be persuaded to take it easy, so Lando did his best to make sure you were as well as possible, but he seemed to have failed.

"I don't know how long it will be before they notice I'm gone and need help, so I'm advising you to spit it out while you can", Max jumped in, sitting on the floor and against the wall next to him.

"Just tired, didn't sleep well", Lando muttered. He didn't sleep at all, truth be told, images of your shattered expression kept replaying in his head as he tried to figure out what was happening to you two.

"I suggest you tell me the truth", Max squinted, "so, try again".

"Y/N and I have hit a rough patch? Our first big fight? I'm not sure", he admitted, "she isn't telling me much, but I think it's about the fact that she works for Quadrant, as in the company I, her boyfriend, own and something about treating her like and employee and not my girlfriend", Lando let out, starting to get worked up, "she tells me this, and I've kept my distance, and that's not been good either. Didn't she say that I should treat her like the employee she is?", Lando snapped as his body language showed another set of emotions.

"She is an employee, yes, and she deserves to be treated as such. But she's also the person you come home to, she was someone before she met you, she is a person outside of your relationship and you shouldn't meddle things. You know that dating you isn't easy and she's been getting the backhand of it", Max reasoned as Lando listened intently, "the social media team have been taking care of it, but there have been comments that are less than kind about her on Instagram, the email marketing too...! It's shitty, less than reasonable accusations, but it has been there... Y/N has never liked to be discredited, and I'm not saying you do it per se, but maybe it's where you should go first", he tapped his friend's back.

"She's not letting me in, how am I supposed to know?!", Lando got antsy again, feet tapping the ground incessantly as his breath got quicker and shallower as he struggled to focus a little.

"Is this rage you feel? Anger?", Max checked, handing Lando the ice-cold water bottle so he could focus on the temperature and not spiral out, "you're good, mate? What do you feel?".

"It's fear that I might lose her", Lando said as he allowed himself to cry, "I'm afraid of losing her because of something I did to her unintentionally. Because being my girlfriend is bad for her and I can't be selfish and tell her to be with me when she's suffering. Because I can't help that I'm proud of her and I won't to belt out how proud I am of her work and that I have her?", he let it all out.

"Have you thought about how it feels for her, though? Even for you, there are comments left and right about how you got to where you are, so imagine how it is for her", Max thought out loud, letting it all sink in.

By the time they came back to the studio, the models were gone and, by the looks of it, so were you as they tidied the place.

"Lando, Max", James called, "we're just finishing up and then we'll also get going. Y/N had to leave, she said something about her mother calling her and she needed to go. Didn't look life threateningly urgent, but she had to get going. Also- Lucy, I think her name was -, she left her number here for you", the photographer said, "she asked me to make sure I handed it to you", he smiled, "do you need mine too? I'm assuming it's for the contract payments?".

"Yes, there was a mishap with her contract, but we checked and yours are still there, no worries with that", Lando lied, impressed at his ability to come up with a half decent excuse.

Walking up to his car, Lando threw the card James gave him in one of the bins outside before getting in with Max, "let me just send this text, one minute".

To lovie ✨️

I'll give you all of the time that you need, but I'm not leaving this, I'm not leaving us. You're the love of my life and I'll wait as long as you need me to, so whenever you want to talk, I'm here, baby.

I love you to the moon and the stars 🤍

"I'll be damned if lose her, Max", Lando admitted, resting his elbows on the steering wheel and supporting his head on his hands.

"You two were made for eachother, Lando. You'll figure it out", his best friend comforted.

As he was reversing out of the parking space, his phone beeped with a notification.

From lovie ✨️

Thank you for letting me do that, I appreciate it more than words can say.

I love you to the planets and around the Milky Way.

For now, it brought a smile to his face, and a little hope. And he would hold on to that little hope.

Part 2

[stylesispunk]

"The not so invisible string" part 5

Not outbreak! Joel Miller x F! Reader

previous chapter | next chapter | series masterlist

summary: you and Joel were made right for each other at the wrong time. Now, thirteen years later your paths crossed when both of your daughters get in trouble at school. Would be the right time for you now?

word count: 4k

warnings: angst, cheating, serious talk. "Doe" is her nickname. No proof reading haha

a/n: Hello! Here's chapter 5! I hope you like it, sorry for the all the wait, I've been dealing with some things. This one is more like a filler chapter and I'll be back with another one on Tuesday! Reblogs and comments are always appreciated. Happy reading 💌 Remember my dms and asks are always open for you

dividers by @/saradika.

It has already been a week since you found out about Dwight’s family, and since then, you have not spoken to him. He had sent messages and had been calling you, begging you to let him explain himself. But you ignore them; instead, you initiated the divorce process with a lawyer, and you were waiting for this chapter of your life to finally be over. Even when you couldn’t bear the feeling of something you touched becoming ashes again, how a shame it was for you to be an insignificant target to fool.

The truth was that Dwight was a source of light entering through your window at some point. The very first night you met him, he was a gentleman, and he treated you well until he stopped. However, the unfaithful path he had chosen for the both of you was something you could not forgive. Your marriage was ending like all the other love stories you were part of.

And that was one of the worst parts of being an adult: having to pick up the broken pieces of you by yourself, save them in your pocket, and continue with your life because it doesn’t matter how exhausted you are or not; you have to continue because you are a woman and no little child is allowed to cry anymore.

During all this week, you had been staying at Joel’s house. He reassured me that it was okay for him to sleep on the couch and insisted that you take the bed. Joel had been acting as a supportive friend throughout this difficult situation, offering a listening ear whenever you needed to vent and a shoulder to cry on, but still, the string pulling you together was burning in your finger, and for him, it seemed okay to pretend that the kiss you almost gave him didn’t happen.

As you lay in bed one night, staring up at the ceiling, thoughts of Dwight and the life you had envisioned together flooded your mind. You couldn't help but feel a pang of sadness and betrayal, but deep down, you knew that you deserved better than someone who couldn't stay faithful.

After all, you thought you deserved it. You had been physically faithful to him, but you always knew your heart belonged to Joel since the moment you met him, and loving a man while staying married to another was another type of treason. 

All wells end badly if they are built on lies.

"A penny for your thoughts?"

You almost dropped your cup of coffee when you heard Joel's voice saying your name.

"What?" You inquired, perplexed.

"I told you I'm leaving and taking the girls to school; are you coming?"

"No, I have to see Dwight in an hour," you said. Joel's face sank slightly at the mention of Dwight's name, as if poison had flowed from your lips. "You know, divorce things," you said somberly.

Joel nodded in agreement, although his expression revealed a tinge of anguish. "I understand," he replied softly. "Just remember, you don't have to go through this alone. I'm here for you, no matter what.

Touched by his constant support, you smiled gratefully. "Thank you, Joel. I sincerely appreciate everything you have done for me. And thank you for taking Tara to school."

As Joel gathered his belongings and prepared to go, you couldn't help but feel grateful for having him back in your life. Despite the distress you were experiencing, knowing you had someone like him by your side gave you the resilience to face whatever lay ahead.

With a deep breath, you prepared for the meeting with Dwight, reaffirming your courage and telling yourself that you deserved better than the pain he had caused you. And as you saw Joel leaving, you couldn't help but feel like the story was repeating itself, as if you weren't deserving of permanent love.

The mood at the lawyer's office, where you sat across from Dwight, was strained. The air seemed heavy with unspoken thoughts and repressed feelings. Dwight squirmed uneasily in his seat, avoiding your gaze and fidgeting with the papers in front of him.

You took a deep breath, ready for the talk that needed to take place. "Dwight," you said, your voice firm but laced with bitterness, "we both understand why we're here. "This marriage... is over."

Dwight finally caught your stare, and you could feel the guilt and regret in his eyes. "I know," he replied softly, just above a whisper. "I messed up, and I apologize. I don't expect you to forgive me, but just know that I didn't mean to hurt you."

Your heart was crushed at his words, but you knew forgiveness would never come. "Yeah, I bet you didn't mean to have a child with another woman," you responded, your tone strict. "But apologies are not going to fix the damage already done. We need to move forward with the divorce, and I want you to tell Tara about your child."

Dwight nodded, a sense of resignation washing over him. "I understand," he replied, his voice full of remorse. "I will sign any paper that is required and won't disagree with it. I only want you to be happy, even if it is without me."

As you left the lawyer's office, without saying a word to him, Dwight turned to you with an eager expression in his eyes. "Can I have Tara over for dinner tonight?" he requested cautiously. "I want to tell her the truth and start making amends."

You hesitated for a moment, considering your alternatives. Regardless of the hurt and betrayal, you believed Tara deserved to know the truth about her father. And perhaps, by confronting the truth together, you would be able to repair the wounds that have been done to your family.

You sighed and nodded, an overwhelming feeling of conviction coming over you. "Yes, Dwight," you replied gently. "You can have Tara over for tonight.

Dwight nodded, a thankful smile flashing over his lips. "Thank you," he replied genuinely. "I won't let you down."

"I don't trust you, and if you make my daughter cry, I will fucking kill you, Dwight." You spoke with a steely tone to emphasize the importance of your warning.

Dwight's smile faded as he gulped and nodded his head. "I know I've let you both down," he muttered gently, his expression gloomy. "But I swear, I'll do everything I can to make things right. "I love Tara and would never do anything to hurt her."

You kept his stare for a minute, looking for any sign of sincerity. You slowly nodded, accepting his words with cautious apprehension. "But you did," you responded, your tone softening slightly. "Tara deserves nothing less than your best. "You are her father; act like one."

Dwight nodded firmly; his expression full of purpose. "I won't let you down," he said, his voice full of tenacity.

With a final nod, you turned and walked away, an avalanche of emotions spinning inside you. While you couldn't ignore the pain and treachery he'd caused you, you couldn't resist the flicker of optimism washing over you.

"Hey, pretty lady, can you help me with something?" Tommy spoke while reaching over to your desk.

"What is it?" you asked, in an unnecessarily harsh tone, as Tommy lifted his gaze to meet the sadness in your eyes and laid his papers aside.

"Okay. What's wrong?" He asked, concerned.

"Nothing but a soon-to-be divorce," you responded, faking a smile as if you had said something amusing, but Tommy did not laugh or smile.

"What?" you asked. "Okay, I'm kind of stressed with some things."

"I'm sorry to hear that," he replied quietly, his voice full of sympathy. "If you need someone to talk to, I'm here for you."

You felt a rush of gratitude rush over you after Tommy's offer of support.

Despite the facade you had been trying to keep up, the weight of recent events had taken its toll, and it felt good to finally share your burden with someone else.

"Is it because of my brother, or not? What about his date tonight?"

"Joel has a date tonight." you said, your heart cracking slightly.

Tommy's face furrowed with worry as he noticed your reaction. "Yes, he mentioned it earlier. He said he was going out with someone he had recently met."

The news made your heart sink as a range of emotions swirled inside you. "Oh," was all you could say, attempting to cover up the twinge of pain that stabbed your chest.

Tommy sensed a shift in your attitude, and his expression softened with understanding. "I'm sorry, I thought you knew since you are staying at his house."

"It's okay, Tommy," you said, attempting a forced smile.

However, it was not okay.

Not long after that, Joel came to the office door, ready to go, and drew your attention with a glance around the room. Without saying anything, he gestured for Tommy to join him, and the two of them rushed toward the exit.

You couldn't help but feel a tinge of disappointment as you observed them leave together, a reminder that you'd also lost him along the way.

As they approached the door, Joel paused and returned his gaze to you, his face softening as he did so, and despite the hurt and confusion whirling inside you, you managed to muster a small, strained smile in response.

"See you later," Joel murmured, his tone tinged with concern.

You nodded in answer, attempting to cover up the chaos that was growing within you. "See you," you said, the words seeming flat on your tongue.

Joel and Tommy disappeared in just one glance, leaving you alone in the office with your thoughts.

Maybe it was time for you to move on, leave his house, and even leave this town.

As the night fell, you found yourself lost in your thoughts, the events of the day weighing heavily on your mind. The sound of the door opening pulled you from your reverie, and you looked up to see Joel entering the house.

"Hey," he greeted you, his voice warm but tinged with concern as he noticed the somber expression on your face. "How was your day?"

You forced a smile, trying to mask the turmoil brewing inside you. "It was alright," you replied vaguely, avoiding his gaze.

Joel furrowed his brows, sensing that something was amiss. "Where are the girls?”

“Uhm. Sarah is upstairs doing homework”

“And Tara?" he asked, his tone filled with curiosity.

You hesitated for a moment, unsure of how to respond. "She's at Dwight's," you finally admitted, your voice barely above a whisper.

Joel's expression tensed slightly at the mention of Dwight's name, a flicker of emotion passing through his eyes before he composed himself. "Oh," was all he said, his voice neutral.

A heavy silence settled between you, the weight of unspoken words hanging in the air. Sensing the tension, you took a deep breath and decided to break the silence.

"So, uh, how was your date?" you asked, trying to sound casual despite the knot of jealousy tightening in your chest.

Joel's brows furrowed in confusion, his eyes searching yours for any hint of jest. "Date?" he echoed; his voice tinged with surprise.

Your heart sank at his reaction, realizing that perhaps you had misunderstood or misheard earlier. "Yeah, Tommy mentioned it,” you explained, trying to keep your tone light despite the growing unease in your stomach.

As you mentioned Tommy's observation, Joel's expression softened, understanding dawning in his eyes. “There was no date; I was actually still working at this dude’s house.”

“Then why did he? you began.

“Were you jealous?” he interrupted

You paused, caught off guard by Joel's interruption. The question hung in the air, heavy with implications. Your heart raced as you considered how to respond, unsure whether to admit the truth or deflect his inquiry.

"I... I don't know," you finally admitted, your voice barely above a whisper.

“Would it be bad? I mean, would it be that bad for me to have a date?” he teased, smirking at you.

Joel's teasing tone caught you off guard, and you felt a range of emotions rushing up inside you. Part of you wanted to dismiss his inquiry with a casual reply, while another part wanted to express how sensitive you are and hurt.

"Maybe" you said, your voice tinged with sorrow.

Joel's humorous tone faded when he understood the importance of his words. He reached out and gently grabbed your hand, and you automatically retreated, feeling a flash of weakness and uneasiness. His gaze shifted, and his eyes showed fear.

"I think that it's better if I go to stay at my parents' house." You said, a lump developing in your throat as you battled to hold back your tears.

"I think it's better if I go to stay at my parents' house." You announced, a lump growing in your throat as you tried to hold back tears. "I just... I need some space right now," you explained, your voice trembling with passion. "I need time to think about my feelings and figure things out."

He chuckled gently. "I think you're being dramatic." Joel's giggle broke the tension, leaving you taken aback and irritated. The lump in your throat became bigger as tears welled up in your eyes, and your heart ached from the burden of his words.

"You don't understand," you exclaimed, your voice shaking with emotion.

"Then make me!" he exclaimed. "I thought you were going to be happier without him, but it seems like you're just a gosht."

"Oh my god, I'm sorry for being sad over the fact that the man I was married to for the last years of my life built another family behind my back as if I were nothing!"

"Dwight doesn't deserve you; he never did," Joel said.

As Joel's remarks hung in the air, a tight silence fell over the room, interrupted only by the sound of your heavy breathing. His attempts to lighten the situation had only deepened the wound in your heart, leaving you feeling even more alone and misunderstood than before.

The tears that had been threatening to spill over finally let loose, running down your cheeks in silent streams as you battled to control yourself. Joel's words were like a punch in the face, a burning reminder of the treason and heartache you'd experienced at Dwight's hands.

"Oh, and who deserves me then?" You said, "Tell me; I want to know."

Joel just stated, "Someone better,” deep down knowing it was him.

"Like you?" you questioned.

"You can trust me," he reassured.

"No, I can't because I don't know you!" you stated.

"I'm the same Joel you met," he said back, trying to stop the storm from coming between you both.

"The one who became a ghost or broke my heart? Which one?" you demanded, tears welling up in your eyes.

"Look, I understand you are afraid of things, but if you think I'm going to say I wish I could get back in time and regret having my daughter for one second, you're crazy." He merely pointed out,

You chuckled as tears flowed down your cheeks. You tried to wipe them away, attempting to remain calm as you stared at Joel, hoping for some form of understanding.

"I never wanted you to regret having Sarah," you replied quietly, your voice tinged with sadness. “I know she's the best thing that ever happened to you.”

Joel's face softened in reaction to your words, with an instant of guilt running through his eyes as he saw the pain on your face. He reached out carefully, his hand gliding in the air between you as a silent gesture of comfort and understanding.

As Joel's palm finally touched yours, a sense of warmth and connection poured over you, spanning the gap that had threatened to separate you. In that moment, you sensed a glimmer of joy and a fresh belief in the possibilities of mending and healing.

"I know," Joel said quietly, his voice full of honesty. "And I am grateful for her every day. But that doesn't change how I feel about you or us. He paused. "Actually, there's something I need to confess." 

"What do you mean?" you inquired, your tone barely above a whisper.

Joel took a long breath, his gaze never leaving yours as he began speaking. "Do you remember those nights I was working late? I wasn't only working, Doe. I was saving money."

Confusion flared in your eyes as you attempted to process his words. "Save money? For what?"

"For a ring," Joel said, his voice full of remorse and vulnerability. "I was planning to propose to you."

The air in your lungs became still as Joel's words sank in. Joel had kept this secret from you all these years, while you were struggling with self-esteem issues.

Tears welled in your eyes. "Did you buy before I left that night we broke?" you whispered, your voice thick with emotion.

He nodded. "I wanted everything to be perfect," Joel confessed, his eyes filled with grief. "But then... things got complicated." "And I thought... I thought I had lost my chance with you." 

"But you let me go," you stated, sounding weak due to the weight of your words, heavy with the distress of the past.

Joel's face softened, and his eyes reflected the grief that filled his heart. "I know, and I'll always regret that," he said, his voice tinged with sadness.

His eyebrows seemed to furrow with remorse as he took a look at your intense stare. "I was a coward," he confessed, his voice barely above a whisper. "I let my fear control me, and in doing so, I lost the most important thing I had in my life."

The vulnerability in Joel's admission resonated with the ache in your own heart. For years, you had carried the weight of his absence, wondering what could have been if only he had been brave enough to fight for you.

"I should have fought for us," Joel continued, his gaze locked with yours. "But I was too afraid of losing you, so I let you slip away."

“I need space, Joel,” you said. “And I deserve to be loved, so I’m not going to follow you or anybody else unless you show me that.”

Joel's shoulders sagged with the weight of your words, his eyes reflecting a mixture of regret and understanding. "I understand," he whispered, his voice heavy with remorse. "You deserve to be loved, and I've failed you in that regard."

As you spoke, a sense of clarity washed over you, a realization that you owed it to yourself to prioritize your own healing and well-being. You had spent too long waiting for someone else to validate your worth, and now you were ready to take control your choices.

"I won't ask you to follow me," Joel replied, his tone filled with resignation. "But I hope that someday I can show you the love and respect you deserve."

As you walked downstairs, the weight of your decision weighed heavily on your shoulders. Each step seemed like a bitter reminder of the past and an uncertain future. But with every stride, you felt a fresh resolution grow within you—a drive to reclaim control of your own life.

When you reached the bottom of the steps, you paused to collect your thoughts before heading toward the door. The sound of your footsteps echoed in the still room, providing an abrupt contrast to the turbulent emotions racing within you.

However, as you reached for the doorknob, a voice stopped you in your tracks.

"Doe, wait."

You turned to see Joel standing in the doorway, his expression full of anguish.

You turned to see Joel standing in the doorway, his expression full of anguish. His eyes pleaded with you, silently begging for the opportunity to set things right.

"I need to go," you replied, just above a whisper. "I cannot stay here, Joel."

Joel took a step closer, his eyes never leaving yours. "I understand," he replied, his voice tinged with regret. "You need space, but I have to tell you this before."

You hesitated, divided between the urge to leave and the need to hear Joel's words. With a disturbed heart, you nodded, quietly encouraging him to speak.

"I made a mistake that night," Joel said, his voice shaking with emotion. "I should've fought for you, Doe. I should have told you how much you meant to me instead of letting you leave."

You broke down in tears when you heard Joel's confession. For years, you had felt the weight of his absence, wondering if things could have turned out differently if he had been brave enough to fight for you.

"I'm sorry," Joel said quietly, his voice barely audible. "I'm so sorry for letting you go." He breathed in. "So that's why I'm doing this now."

“What?” you asked.

You furrowed your brow, attempting to make sense of his captivating comment. Before you could utter another word, Joel closed the distance between you, his movements swift yet gentle.

In an instant, his lips touched yours in a delicate kiss—a muttered plea for forgiveness and a promise of reconciliation. The world around you appeared to fade away as the warmth of his touch embraced you, washing away the layers of doubt and uncertainty that had tortured your heart for so long.

Joel knew words weren’t enough for you right now, and this swift action was the only way he found to pour and show all the love and promises he couldn’t save those years, being sealed in this very right moment.

Not letting you go this time was his first attempt to bring you back and offer you the life and love you deserved.

For a little moment, time stood still, and all that mattered was what you shared with Joel—a bond that transcended through the years.

Joel pulled away, his gaze fixed on yours, looking for any sign of recognition. His breath merged with yours, stealing what he believed was his. A silent exchange of emotions spoke volumes without the use of words.

"I can't let you go," he said, his voice barely above a whisper. "Not again, please stay with me," he pleaded, holding your face with his hands. 

Joel's words lingered heavily in the air, echoing his desperation and need. You noticed a genuine desperation in his request, one that mirrored your own. You had ached for reassurance of his love for so long, and now as he stood before you, baring his soul, you couldn't resist the pull of your heart toward him.

"I don't want to leave," you said, just above a whisper. "But I need to know that this time is different, Joel. I need to know if you are willing to fight for us."

Joel nodded; his eyes full of purpose. "I am," he declared, his voice filled with passion. "I'll do whatever it takes to make things right between us, to prove to you that you're the one I want, now and always."

Tears welled up in your eyes as you met Joel's soulful gaze and noticed the depth of his love and honesty reflected in you. You lifted your hand while taking in the warmth of his face under your fingertips.

Feeling the warmth of Joel's touch under your fingertips, you took a deep breath, trying to steady the whirlwind of emotions swirling within you. Despite the overwhelming rush of love and longing, you knew that you needed time to process everything that had happened—to settle the chaos in your heart and mind.

"I need time," you admitted, your voice trembling slightly with emotion. "Time to process everything that's happened, time to heal, and time to figure out what I want."

Joel's expression softened, and his gaze filled with understanding. "I understand," he said softly, his voice a soothing balm to your frazzled nerves. "Take all the time you need, baby. I'll be here waiting for you, I promise.”

Sarah

 “Guys, it worked! They talked things out!”

Tara

No way! Seriously?

Tommy

So, my lie worked? What happened?

Sarah

They kissed! My dad is over the moon!

Tara

 OMG, really?! I can't believe it!

Tommy

Wow, I didn't think our little plan would actually work.

Sarah

We just needed to give them a little push.

Tommy

We? I lied for you little girls.

Tara

I'm so happy for them. They belong together.

Tommy

Yeah, they do. Let's just hope they figure things out soon.

tags 💌: @joeldjarin @missladym1981 @yomiyasxx @aliengirl99 @lola8888673 @nottodaysattan @picketniffler @violinchick @sadgirlcheesecake @caitlynsixxx @luvwanda @sarahhxx03

[spaghettiposts]

Who are some of your favourite writers here?

That's a tough one because I love A LOT of them, but here are the ones that have stuck out to me.

Firstly I'll talk about some Wanda writers:

@mionemymind: one of the most compelling writers out there. I think I have a personal bias because we're similar and share similar interests (star wars lol), they've literally written a star wars based wanda fic!!! Apart from that they have really good one shots and stories. My personal favorite one shots have to be To Be Loved Is To Be Considered, The Actress & The Geek, and my personal favorite Blood Drive.

Aside from being a writer Mionemymind is also a really great person to the community and friends, and I can't tell you how many times I've smiled because of their reblogs. Truly awesome sauce.

@targaryenmarvel: From the moment her story "Fallin all in you" came onto my feed, I was desperately hooked. Absolutely one killer of a story and I can't wait for more. Really great writing and its just so perfect, that story meant everything to me at one point <3

@fortuositywritings: I love everything about this authors writing, but my most favorite thing about their style is the humor. It's so natural and well paced, it makes me smile without fail every time. They aren't as active, and I hope they're doing amazing but if I could let this author know that their series I Said No, and Love Bug changed my writing forever, I would do it in a heartbeat. They're one of the reasons I'm writing for Wanda here today.

@ziggyzolch: I discovered their fic on ao3 first and I've got to say it has me hooked. They deal with more serious topics on series and its one of my favorite parts about their style, honestly Your Prettiness is Seeping Through has got to be hands down one of my favorite series in 2024. Amazing work and great representation to those who need it.

And lastly @wandascosmic: I haven't seen much of her until today but her new series you belong with me has quickly become so special to me that I can't help but mention her. The humor between reader and Sam is amazing, but also the interactions between reader and Wanda have my heart aching so sweetly. I feel like a leech with how quickly I've sunk into this story, you belong with me is so sweetly written and I enjoy every second of it. Amazing work.

Now for the Jenna Ortega fandom, I think I have quite a list. There's so many amazing writers out there it's crazy, I'm always so well fed by both fandoms.

I've got to start out with the legendary @cobaltperun: I binged Lost, for 2 days straight. I was HOOKED. so hooked this story got in the way of my personal life because I couldn't stay away from my phone. I love the way you write Tara and gosh did the series kill and heal me. Aside from Lost, Woe out the storm is also such a sweet story. The whole concept Raiju is so interesting to me now and damn do I love a good slow burn. Im just so deeply impressed too by their rapid request process, and how much they get done, its moving.

Another legend @letorip: First I've just got to mention, his headcannons for characters are amazing and I'm CONSTANTLY having to restrain myself from asking for more because I would only continue. I highly recommend them, they're like stories in themselves. But aside from Headcannons, my personal favorite fic of his would have to be somethin' stupid, especially part 3. The whole series is a must read and gosh do I love the writing, its so beautifully described, every inch of it.

@ajortga: every fic of hers is a fucking BANGER. there's never a fic in which I'm left dissatisfied. I love it all, eat it all. When I find her on my feed, you know I'm immediately digging in. Everything is always so fluffy and nice and just makes a girl feel better yk? I completely recommend reading Cute and Absolute, My Girl, and Bear hugs. All super fluffy and heart warming fics, its crazy <333

@persevereforahappyending: This author stabs me, kills me, brings me back to life, and then stabs me again with angst but I go back every time. Specifically to their newest series A Legacies Secret which is. So. Fucking. Good. They really cooked with that one. Every Friday like clockwork I'm checking for notifications and I'm never disappointed. Their writing style just leaves a grip on you and the plots are so clever too, they're very unique and I love them. Luck Runs Out is another great series and damn I revisit that thing once every two weeks for a reminder on what true love really is.

And lastly but not least one of my newest favorite authors of all time is @honorarysimp: Uncanny Distortion was one of the best things I ever read, the plot, whilst held similarities to scream, had such a creative own twist to the authors imagination. I absolutely loved it, Tara and Detective made my day for weeks, and then came Rumor has it and now two others hold my heart, and break it, a lot. this series feels like its gonna hurt me. But overall Honorary simp is such an underrated writer and I really hope that more people will notice you out there and give you some more well deserved attention because God damn your fics are masterfully crafted and I don't even have the words to describe how much I adore them, all I can say is that I carved a space in my heart for Detective and Lucky.

that was longer than I intended but all of these authors came from the top of my head so they mean a lot to me. Tumblr is a way better place with all of these creative souls in it and honestly I wouldn't have gotten far without all this inspiration surrounding me ❤️

[joannaliceevans-fanficblog]

Belong With You

*I've been in a writing dry spell. This came to me yesterday, while I was at work.

I know, this is a sensitive to some. But I'm going to write it anyways. As always, if you like what you read, please reblog.*

And one more thing. This isn't proofed, therefore all mistakes are on me.

Song and storyline based from The Light the Heat Belong With You.

Chris Evans x Reader.

We make sense

Darling, we just make sense

Ever since the day we met

The sounds of metal scraping against the concrete, your 8 month old screaming for you. Your head was spining. Everything went to a holt, when you felt another hard jolt and your head slammed against the window.

Everything dark, everything faded to black.

**

Scott sat in the passengers side, while Steve drove. They were running late for an event, in Santa Monica. With each light, it turned red and irritated Scott more.

"Steve, we shouldn't have-"

"What the hell was-"

The sounds of a loud crash came, and all the cars came to a sudden stop. Everyone got out of their cars and ran to the scene.

"Scott, stay. I'll check it out. "

Before Scott could say anything, Steve was already at the scene and Scott got out. He looked over, and to see two cars. One that looked barely even touched and one tangled mess.

"Jesus-" Scott muttered, as he continued to look on.

"Baby! A baby is the back!" Scott heard and caught his attention. A man ran, with some tools and began to hit the window.

Scott watched on, and it finally broke open. The woman grabbed the baby from its car seat and began to hold hee.

But the crying.

It was starting to ring a bell to him. Of all his nieces and nephews....this was different. Then he looked up, and that's when it hit him.

"Bailey!" He yelled and ran to towards the lady. The lady turned, and little Bailey held her arms to her uncle.

"Scott, dont-" Scott heard Steve say, as he saw Steve blocking his way, and to see the real aftermath.

The car, in a tangle mess. The drivers side, against a met pole.

And all Scott could see was your arm sticking out.

**

The Halloween party was out with a full blast. Everything was there, no mishaps. Tara walked around, in her costume, drink in her hand and saying hello to some of the guests. But as she walked, she could help but feel something was off.

Her husband, asked earlier if everything was okay, but she just brushed it off. And thinking it would go away. That was hours ago, and the feeling was still there.

"Honey!" Tara heard her husband say, distracting her thoughts. She looked over the crowd and to see her husband Jack come rushing over.

"Jack-"

"It's Scott-" Jack said, with fear and concern. Tara took her phone and placed it against her ear.

"Scott-"

"Something happened. I can't get a hold of Chris."

[ayoharuko]

Hiiii can i request arguments with Love and Deepspace trio? Like really angsty but ends with a fluff.

Because yeah, i want to be sad, but i want a happy ending hehehehhe. Thank you ^_^

-🍓

Hello 🍓anon!! Make to prepare your tissues cause I love making people cry! (Pls don't take that outta context-)

This will be 3 one shots in one post because I wanted this as detailed as possible lol, so yes this will be quite long; sorry for that!

Reader here is Female (she/her) :)

Reminder: The character belongs to INFOLD/ its respective creators; this is all just fictional work so please try to not take these too seriously :)

T.W: Lots of kisses and a little spice. Maybe OCC.

With all those aside. Lay back, grab a snack and drink... andddd

Enjoy reading~! ✧

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Usually you were calm and collected but everything around you was starting to test your patience.

A huge wanderer incident had had happened during a festival that was happening in Linkon City and a few people had gotten hurt.

Seeing Captain Jenna's disappointed face directed at me and my teammates make me tip over the edge as I rushed to get back to my apartment, planning to drink my heart away.

While I was walking my hunters watch went off, and it seemed like the wanderer was near where I was so I quickly went to the location and saw it being taken care of none other then Xavier.

He turned towards me and softly smiled at me.... however I didn't return any soft or gentleness he showed towards me as I spoke in a cold, hallow tone.

"Where were you?"

I asked clenching my fists, the plastic wrinkling.

"I... had to take care of some important stuff, sorry... I tried to go and catch up but I was too lat-"

"How could you be so careless?"

I asked, now my voice spitting with venom as I glared at him.

"This is always the problem with you Xavier! You're so distant and secretive that sometimes I don't even know you anymore... I don't even know if I'm.... of I'm even as important as you say I am"

"I... didn't know you felt that way.... i.. didn't't mean to be so ignorant.."

"Save it Xavier... I'm too tired to deal with you right now."

I was such a jerk yesterday.... I can't believe I let my anger out on Xavier like that.

He has always been so patient and understanding with me and I go and scream at him almost like i... i...... I don't love him....

"Hey hey heyy! Earth to Y/n~! You alright?" I heard Tara ask beside me.

"Sorry.. yea I'm fine, I'll head home first alright?" I responded and we both said our goodbyes to each other.

As the elevator doors open, I was shocked to see Xavier sitting next to my apartment door and he was..... snoring?

I quickly shake him awake.

As he rubs his eyes and looks up at me while still being drowsy, I sigh and help him up as we both enter my apartment.

I sat him on the couch and go to get some warm tea for him.

After we both settled down and he was wide awake we both sat in silence..

"Are you.... still upset with me?" Xavier asked, breaking the silence.

"No.. I'm not, it was irrational for me to get upset at you for the first place..." I responded, looking down at the cup filled with tea I held in my hand.

"But.. I can't help but still be upset with you." I said, now turning my gaze towards him.

"I can't help but feel as if I'm... unimportant to you.. I can't help but feel as if...... you don't love me." My lips quivered as I uttered those words.

After a brief silence of me looking at his figure, he finally spoke.

"I didn't mean to make you feel that way.... i.." He seemed as if he was thinking about his words before saying them to me.

"You've got it wrong i... I do love you and you are important to me- so much so that I can't help but think about you all the time..."

He looked directly into my eyes as he spoke those words as I looked back into his.

"I feel frustrated at the fact that I have to keep secrets from you just to protect you...."

"You know I'm then capable of taking care of myself right? Xavier I just want you to be honest with me and show me all of you."

I said, my cup now sat at the table as I moved closer to Xavier.

"Why are you keeping half of yourself from me!? Am I that unworthy and untrustworthy? Xavier i... please just tell me-"

"Because I don't want to lose you again."

"H u h . . . . ?"

"Because. I don't want to lose you again."

"Again? What? What are you..."

"I... I can't explain everything to you right now but... I'm doing this to protect you because I LOVE you."

He pulled me into a hug and I felt his breathe tickle my neck as he nuzzles into it.

"Please... please don't force me in saying it... I can't lose you... I just can't.." He saids in a broken tone as he tightens his hold on me.

I contemplate for a bit and wrapped my arms around him and closed my eyes to breath in his familiar scent.

"Ok. Just promise me you'll tell me everything when you're ready."

He nods and we both decided to sleep on the couch tonight.

The next morning me and Xavier were back to normal, as if we never have fought....

As much as I want to press him for the truth I'll back off.

He'll tell me when his ready.

. . . . . . . . .

"I love you My Star" He whispers to the young woman's ear as she drifts off to sleep.

"Thanks for taking over!" I yelled over to my colleague as I happily skipped over to my motorcycle and rode back to my apartment.

Me and Zayne had planned to dine/have dinner at a new restaurant that specialized in sweetened foods!

I quickly got ready and got a message from Zayne saying that I should head over first, so I did and walked to the restaurant as it was quite near my building.

As I entered the restaurant I was led to me and Zayne's reserved sit, I smiled excitedly as I was given a menu.

However, since Zayne wasn't here yet I ordered a strawberry smoothie and just pulled out my phone from my pocket to scroll mindlessly on Lintok. (A.n: Seemed funnier in my head sorry-)

. . . . . . . . . . .

Its been a whole hour and he still wasn't here......

I tried calling his phone and bombarding him with messages but to no avail..

I calmed myself down and waited....

And waited.....

And Waited....

And Waited...

And.....

W a i t e d..

I started feeling the anger build up inside of me as I got up and left the restaurant, heading straight to Akso Hospital.

"Yvonne, is Zayne inside his office?"

"Y/n! Doctor Zayne is in fact in his office, he actually just finished a surge-"

I walked away as soon as she answered my question, almost sprinting to his office.

"-surgery... y/n?" Yvonne sighed as he leaned back on her chair, as a fellow nurse giggled behind her.

"It seems like Doctor Zayne has found himself in a pickle."

Yvonne sighs again and looked at the direction of their Cardiac Doctors office with a face filled with pity.

"He does."

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

*Knock* *Knock* *Knock*

3 knocks was heard as the famous cardiac surgeon/doctor was working on his computer with his usual stoic face on as he mindlessly asked the person who knocked to come in.

Only when he saw your figure enter did his face softened at the sight of you, but It son faded as you looked at him with sorrowful eyes.

Concerned, he stood up from his desk and walked towards you in a slow manner but you seemed to back away from him.

"..... Darling? Whats the matter?" He asked as he continued to look at you with genuine concern.

You winced as it seems like Zayne had forgotten your date.... again.

Yes. This wasn't the first time that Zayne forgot dates.

"You forgot again." I said as I looked up into his pretty orbs that I loved to stare at so much.

I watched as the realization hits his face.

I watched as he uncomfortably shifts around before setting his gaze at me with an unreadable emotion present on his face.

"I.." He stops midway and seeing this I just clench my fists together and made sure to give him a piece of my mind... and heart.

"Zayne, this has been happening too recently... I feel like you're trying to slip away from me." I said but I swallowed the rest of the wards that itched to come out.

"I'll... I'll make it up to you. I have the day this coming weekend, I apologize. The patients of Akso Hospital had increased over the weeks and we became understaffed.. I didn't mean to-"

"Stop.. just stop it Zayne." I turned my back on him as I felt my eyes burning.

"I think... we need a break from each other.. at least until you have enough time for me." I opened the door and preceded to walk away from his office.

. . . .

Zayne stayed standing at the same spot you had left him for an hour. Thinking about the events that had occurred.

He decided that he didn't want you both to end it like this- even if you said 'taking a break' he just didn't want to.

So he clocked out quickly, got in his car and drove straight to your house; hoping that you both could solve this by having a conversation... but if you don't want that the, I guess he really screwed up big time huh..

After finding a parking spot for his car, he made sure to buy flowers first (Your favorite ones of course) along with a heartfelt apology.

. . . . .

You plopped down on your comfy bed and closed your eyes in exhaustion.... however, your mind started drifting to the events that happened an hour ago.

Were you too harsh?

Did you do the right thing?

Were you selfish for not understanding Zayne's situation more?

Those were the type of thoughts swirling through your head as you desperately tried to get some sleep.

After sometime of you still not being able to get some sleep, you grabbed your phone from your desk and opened your boyfriends cell number, staring at the nickname and picture you set for him.

You pondered on whether you should call him or not...

After giving it some thought- you decided that why not? But as your finger hovered the call bottom the doorbell of your apartment rang.

Blinking confusingly, you set your door back down to its original place and walked outside your bedroom to the front door.

Looking into the peephole, you were shocked to see Zayne- holding... flowers... Jasmines to be more specific.

I unlocked the door and opened it wide, he briefly looked surprised for a moment.

"Zayne.. why are you here? I though that the hospital needed you." I said, my own voice betraying me as it came out in a bitter tone.

"Could i...come in?" He asked and I thought about it moment before sighing and stepping aside to let him in.

He ushered a 'thank you' to me as he walked inside my apartment.

I instructed him to sit down on the couch as I make tea for him and me. I looked at him from the corner of my eye and saw him deep in thought.

I gave him the tea and sat down beside him, I let a few moments pass before I speak.

"I-" "Plea-"

"................"

"You go first.." I said sipping my tea as he cleared his throat.

"Please accept these Jasmines that I grew inside of my office" He said as he nudged the Jasmines towards me.

I hesitantly took the freshly looking Jasmines from him and let out a meek 'Thank you'

"And please also... accept my apologies, even if I know that I'm undeserving of it-"

"Zayne plea-"

"You don't deserve this-"

"Zayne.. I should be the one to apologize."

He looked stunned for a moment and was about to refuse my statement but I spoke before he could.

"You always made time for me, I just... I just didn't realize nor have I seen it.... You were always there for me not only as my physical physician but also as the... love of my life." I said clenching my heart as I let out this confession of mines.

"Could i... hug you?" I almost let out a sigh of relief as I nod and wrap my arms around him tightly.

"Can I be... selfish tonight, my love?" He said our faces inches away from each other.

I slowly nod as our faces got closer and closer...till our noses touches... our breathes and finally...

Our lips touch and It eventually evolves into a deep and passionate one.

"I took a day off tomorrow, so we won't have to worry about sleeping in or waking up late..." He said as he breaths heavily.

I blush but smile slightly.... maybe me and Zayne will be alright...

As she drifts away into a deep sleep against his chest, he swiftly bridal carries her and walked inside her room to setting her on her bed, tucking her in nice and warm- leaving a warm forehead kiss reserved just for her.

He gently sits himself on her bed and looks at her with warm, softened eyes as he began caressing her hair.

"I... love you more than anything. My Jasmine"

"I won't let this mistake of mines happen again.

"You ready Rafayel?" I asked as I make sure my makeup was perfect.

"Just a second!" He said, his voice echoing inside the bathroom.

I sigh and get up and walked towards the bathroom door, leaning against the door.

"You sure are taking awhile..." I said a nonchalant expression present on my face as I saw him with his shirt unbutton as he turned towards with a smug smirk on.

"Thomas and you said that I should look as formal as possible for the auction so I am just taking my time to make sure I do look good~"

"Your just making sure we're late enough to miss the entire event aren't you?"

"...... Ugh- why are you siding with Thomas by the way? I'm your boyfriend... not him!" Said by the artist, pouting at me and crossing is arms.

I shook my head and turned around from him, planning to just text Thomas that maybe me and Rafayel would be late but I felt two strong arms wrap around me.

"Rafayel...?"

"You smell nice..."

"Stop kidding around and just hurry up-"

"I'm not kidding you do smell nice!

He turned me around to look at him and I blushed at our closeness and the look he gave me.....

"You also look... gorgeous" He said, smiling down at me.

"Hurry up so we can go.. you goofy fish." I said and boop his nose as he chuckles and went inside the bathroom.

I sigh and tried my best to fan my face, as it was hot and probably red.

After a few minutes Rafayel was finally finished and we both drove to the auction place via Rafayel's sports car.

"Rafayel! Good that you're here... some potential buyers wanna meet you, could you spare them a moment?" Thomas yelled as he walked towards us as we both entered inside.

Rafayel looked at me for confirmation, I nod and he was led away by Thomas to the other side of the room.

I sat down by the bar and asked a drink for myself, as the bartender put my drink in front of me; I took my purse out to pay for it.

"Here. I'll pay for the lady." I heard someone say beside me.

I quickly looked to the person sitting beside me. It was a man, seeming to be in his late 30s.

I force a smile on my face as I thank him for his 'Kindness'.

"You really are beautiful in person... even from across the room" He said as he scanned me up and down.

I swift uncomfortably and take a sip of my drink, remaining silent as I silently prey that this man would just leave me alone.

"Not a talker? Didn't expect that as you were all but smiley when you were with that famous artist. Rafayel."

"...."

"Still not gonna talk sweetheart? Well I-"

"What do you want with Rafayel..?" I cut him off and glare at him slightly.

He chuckles as he leans closer to my face and lets his neck words out in a whisper.

"You see, I want that painting for myself. However, Thomas said that it's an auction so I should just... fight for it when the auction starts."

I urge him to go on as I lean even closer, as the music was starting to get too loud.

"I'm willing to pay a great sum of money for that painting without even bidding..." He said and his next words bought me chills on my spine.

"And I'm willing to pay to have you as my own as well."

I quickly get up from my sit but he grabbed me by the arm and chuckles.

"I'm not letting my prey get away that easily..." He said darkly.

I was about to kick him when a hand grabs his that was on my arm, it was Rafayel! I almost fall back but was caught by the arms by Thomas that was behind me.

I saw Rafayel gripping the mans arm hard as he cries from pain.

"Rafayel! Let the guards handle this, we shouldn't create a-"

Rafayel throws the man on the ground and grabbed me away from Thomas.

Thomas calls for Rafayel, saying that the auction isn't over yet but I doubt he'd want to go back there.

I stare back at Thomas, silently apologizing as me and Rafayel walks over to his car.

Driving back to his place, it was quiet- painfully quiet.

As we come to a stop, he opens the passenger sits door and grabs me by the wrist; pulling me out of the car in a rough manner.

"Rafayel! You're gripping onto me too hard!" I yelled but he ignored my cries and took me to the bathroom.

I watched as he turned the bathtubs tap on.

"Ra...Rafayel?"

"Get in."

"Huh?"

He then tried to get me in the bathtub that was already overflowing, "Rafayel! ..... Stop!" I yelped as my legs hit the front of the tub and I fell into the tub, I closed my eyes as I felt the warm water embracing my whole body.

I coughed and rubbed my eyes as my glared at the man who was on top of me, I guess he also fell inside the tub as his clothes were wet as well.

"What is.. WITH YOU RAFAYEL!?" I yelled angrily at him, my eyes burning from the water and my frustrated tears.

"You let him get close to you Y/n! Now you smell like him and it.. it infuriates me!" He argued back at me with emotions I couldn't understand.

I scoffed at this.

"How could you be so childish? Not only did you underestimate me, you also made a scene! Thomas must be running around like a deer in headlights because of that stun you did." I said, breaking heavily.

Rafayel silently got off the tub and walked away, as I tried to processed the whole situation.

After a couple hours had passed, and me putting on some more comfortable clothes that I had left in Rafayel's place just in case.

I decided to try and look for him as I haven't seen him in the last couple of hours, just as I was about to give up I saw the bathroom door slightly ajar.

I peeked inside and saw Rafayel inside the tub, half naked and surrounded by water, his eyes were closed and he seemed relaxed.

I slowly walked inside and kneel beside the tub, I brought my hand to his cheek brushed the flesh slowly.

A lot of things were swirling inside my mind, i... obviously want to apologize for my behavior but.... I was also upset at him for not even considering his reputation.

I sigh softly and was about to bring my hand back to my side but a cold hand firmly gripping mines keeps it in place.

"Rafayel?"

He opens his eyes and we both stare at each other for a good minute.

"I... Rafayel, could you get freshened up? I need to talk to you."

"Why not talk here?"

"Your in the bathtub, I want us to talk seriously."

"I don't want to get out yet."

Ugh.. every so stubborn.

I sigh and got up from my kneeling position but he still wouldn't let go of my hand....

"Rafayel... I can't do this with you right now, please jus-" My sentence was cut short as I let up a small scream, pulling me inside the tub with him; soaking the clothes I had just wore a couple hours ago.

"Rafayel! Ugh... now my clothes are-"

"You wanted to talk right? Let's talk."

I gave up and let him position me properly on his lap.

"I'm sorry for the words I said earlier.. I was just... upset with what you did even if I should have thanked you for saving me." I looked down aka away from him as I couldn't bear to look him in the eyes to save myself the embarrassment.

"Hmph. Good thing you realized." He said and I pouted at his response as I thought he would be more grateful at my apology.

"But I know I'm wrong as well." I looked up at him in surprise at this as I didn't expect it from him.

"I know that my actions hurt you, cutie." He gently stroked my cheek with his cold fingers.

"I let the passion and my desires take over me, turning me into a beast thats possessive of you." I gasped as he bites the end of my palm, pulling me closer to him.

"Shouldn't you take responsibly? And make me feel... better?"

He whispered against my lips as our faces inch closer and closer....

Our lips touch and danced in a soundless rhyme, our hearts beating in harmony- both loud and fast.

I put both my hands on his chest and slowly push me away from my lips even if I knew we were both hungry for more.

He presses his forehead against mines and the other noises that can be heard is our heavy breathing and maybe even our beating hearts.

I sigh as he then presses his head deep inside my neck, his hands caressing my sides.

"You still... have that lout's scent on you, and thats a problem."

"Ra...Rafayel.."

"Don't worry, cutie. I'll make it up to you for making you upset."

Thank you so much for this wonderful request!

I apologize deeply for how long it has taken for me to complete your request. However, I hope that I have done your request justice and that you enjoyed reading this well!

Thank you once again for this request! ♡

Reblogs are appreciated and Feedback/Comments are always appreciated! :3

(Note: please don't copy and paste my works anywhere, and if you do see them on other platform please inform me.)

[savvyratatouille]

hi guys i'm savannah but you can call me savvy

i will reblog but i wont post anything unless i wanna spread awareness :)

a little abt me ���💋

(i'll prob delete this out of embarrassment😭)

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>><>><><><><><>

•i'm 6teen

•i'm black

• some ppl i watch - i love the triplets (obviously) quen, larray, tara, jake/johnnie, kalogeras sisters and sometimes js random ppl

• i'm a big fan of music in general (except country i js can't do it)

•i'm bisexual😛

•i most likely won't show my face for personal reasons

•i struggle mentally and emotionally and if you are too, you are always open to messaging and talking to me :)

•if you write fem x nick fics, are homophobic, transphobic, racist, insanely disrespectful and ignorant you don't deserve respect. period.

•i love you and you deserve to be happy

•YOURE LOVED🩷

bye chat💋

[luwritesomething]

Mickey Altieri comforting an autistic, overstimulated reader?

Mickey Altieri Heacanons: Overstimulated autistic S/O.

Warnings: Maybe there's swearing?? It's me, so…, overstimulation.

Edited?: Like always, no.

Reader's pronouns: Not stated, gender neutral

Summary: Mickey Altieri with an overstimulated autistic s/o. 

Author's note: first of all, thank you for requesting! i did headcanons for this because i felt like it would be more appropiate. as a neurodivergent person (not autistic) who gets overstimulated several times, i got really happy that i had an excuse to write about the subject. i am not autistic myself, so there could be mistakes in the way i portrait overstimulation, but i did these with research and basing it in what i can see from my perspective. hope it's accurate enough, and if not, feel free to educate me <3. overstimulation is different in everyone, i guess, but that doesn't mean your experience is less valid.

criticism, comments and reblogs are always appreciated! requests are open, especially for scream! hit that anon button and tell me your ideas. in the scream fandom, i write for billy loomis, stu macher, randy meeks, tatum riley, sidney prescott, mickey altieri, kirby reid, chad meeks martin, mindy meeks martin, tara carpenter, anika kayoko and laura crane.

i headcanon mickey as a very observant person.

so if the overstimulation comes in a very crowded or lonely place, he'll notice either way.

he's very caring, so you bet he's gonna have an eye on you whenever you feel overstimulated. you don't even have to tell him.

if you go mute, mickey is asking no questions and instead just leads you to a lonely place in which you can recharge your energy, or just feel better.

if you start getting irritated, he's not snapping at you no matter what. mickey will just look at you and try to let you know that he understands, all that with just his gaze.

oh, but if you don't go mute, you BET he's the communication king.

"can i touch you?"

"do you want my headphones? i have that tape you like."

·do you wanna go somewhere quieter?"

"do you need something? i'll get it for you."

"do you want me to bring you your blanket?"

"should i shut up?"

if you need him quiet, he's not opening his mouth until you explicitedly ask him to.

will have his arm around you if you need it.

and will always offer you his hand in case you need something to hold/touch/fiddle with.

he's full of patience, making him snap isn't easy.

but if someone is visibly bothering you while you're overstimulated... oh boy.

doesn't want to baby you, either, so he's told you to go off at his ass if he ever does it.

but the turht is that it's really helpful having him around whenever you feel this way.

he means well <3

he'll hold you tight if you need him to.

if you don't want to go to a place with your friends because you're too overstimulated but you don't want to tell them, don't worry bevause mickey has a physical list of excuses to get you out of those situations.

"shit, i'm sorry guys, y/n and i can't go? oh, why? well, my mom invited us for dinner, and it would be the third time we'd pass... yeah, can't let that happen."

he's a murderous sweetheart <3

[mattsbows]

‎‧₊˚✧[RULES]✧˚₊‧

-please don't leave requests when my requests are closed! i'm always down to yap, but i'll reply to your request once they're back open :)

-drama/hate/discrimination are not allowed on this account. you will be blocked<3

-i will write for: the sturniolo triplets, sam and colby, tara yummy, sabrina carpenter, and sometimes madison beer+others!

-i will not write: nick x romantic fem reader, anything non consensual, abuse, active ED/SH (but i can write recovery fics!!), incest, or hard drugs. requests are up to my discretion!

-i'm open to almost any genre! fluff, smut, age regression, and angst are all up for grabs<3

likes/reblogs/other interactions are highly appreciated. that being said, i do not allow reposts/remixes/or copies of my work. everything posted here is 100% my own and only uploaded to tumblr.

© mattsbows

[radiant-reid]

You know what I wished they had continued the storyline with the unsub who had a spider tattoo. The one where the dad kept saying someone stole his daughter so he became the unsub and then at the end we saw the same unsub target a mom and her kid when they stopped to rest. Yeah that one.

Hi Cate! It’s been a while I hope you’be been ok. Might not interact often but I sure have to say I’ve been lurking and I just love your posts. From blurbs to hc to full fics all amazing

Grecy hiiiii, i hope you're good too and i love seeing the tags on your reblogs so much, it always makes my day

yes !! i think about this every time I watch that episode because there was such a good intro and Tara (i think) talked about how impossible it seemed for the little girl to have gone out into the desert alone. I'll always wonder why they didn't continue it like they did that case with the network of abductors who sold girls to serial killers that then took Meg Callahan because Kate thought there was more to the case and investigated

[hctsummernights]

rules ౨ৎ

-please don't leave requests when my requests are closed! my inbox is always open for yapping, though!!

-my blog is not MDNI, but i mostly will be selective with under 16s, because i am an adult<3

-i am a college student, who is also chronically ill! please be patient with me :)

-i will write for: the sturniolo triplets, sabrina carpenter, sam and colby, tara yummy, taylor swift, and madison beer. i'll also write pretty much any genre except hardcore smut!

-i will not write the following: rough smut, hard drugs, mommy or daddy kinks, body fluid play, abuse, active EDs or SH. all requests are up to my discretion. i reserve the right to turn down any request i don't feel comfortable with.

-hate and drama is not tolerated here. point blank period. i don't care to be involved in it, so take it somewhere else

reblogs and other interactions are appreciated, but not expected! that being said, i do not allow my work to be remixed, copied, translated, or posted onto other platforms. this is my only tumblr account, and my ao3 is under @ bratzforchris<3

[forest-of-stories]

Throwback Thursday, Fandom Edition: "I Saw A World Enchanted"

My journal from sophomore year of college (April 2004) contains my impressions of "Once More, With Feeling," one of the first episodes of Buffy the Vampire Slayer that I ever watched. I knew the premise and some basic information about the core characters, but the revelations and dramatic turning points in the episode didn't hit me nearly as hard as they would have hit someone who'd been following the show for years... with one exception. Before I'd even seen Willow and Tara's relationship develop, I saw it fall apart, in a way that was and is extremely relevant to my fictional interests. At that point, I was so accustomed to casual mind-wipes in fiction that any story that even suggested, "hey, maybe that's creepy and not okay," made me sit up and take notice.

(Of course, the presence of a lesbian relationship in a popular genre show, however messily it ended, was hugely significant in its own way. I just didn't write about that at the time.)

(Apparently, I'd also recently watched the beginning of Fruits Basket, which also uses memory erasure as a plot point, but I didn't care for it enough to continue.)

I eventually went back and watched Buffy, and then Angel, from the beginning. I listened to the musical many, many more times. I swooned over Giles both before and after I decided to go to library school. I read and wrote a lot of fanfic, including crossovers with Doctor Who, Torchwood, Repo: The Genetic Opera, and Scott Pilgrim, among others. I never developed strong opinions on which hunky vampire Buffy should have ended up with; I always thought her non-romantic relationships were a lot more compelling. I love stories about found families who fight evil, and this show is still a standout example of the trope.

Joss Whedon and his work have undergone a lot of justifiable critical re-evaluation in recent years. Even so, I still don't regret engaging with any of it. I'm still happy to talk about the flaws and strengths of Buffy and his other shows, I'll still reblog the occasional gifset or piece of analysis ( @coraniaid's blog and the Insect Reflection series are brilliant), and I could still, if prompted, sing "Under Your Spell," and Tara's heartbroken reprise, from memory.

[lonelym00n]

Fics Recs

hello! I've been suuuper busy with exam week + packing and i haven't really gotten the chance to show my love and appreciation for all the good stuff that I've been reading, so i wanted to make a short post to share some of my favorite fics & writers :)

@ultrone writes the best amber fics, hands down! i get so excited when I see that she's posted and tear through the post within seconds

@talesofesther's recent sam fic (titled Constellations) touched a part of my soul, everything was just written so beautifully. also, their characterization of tara throughout every fic is so spot on!

@nokitwit's tara fic (The High Price of Possession) was made for me I swear. my delusions love any jealousy related fic.

@void-wolfie wrote the cutest + fluffiest midnight date fic for tara (Look At The Stars. Look How They Shine For You.) I have a deep love for anything space related and that fic filled me with so much warmth

@cartierdreamx's little drabbles always either make me laugh out loud or smother myself into my pillows to hide my giggles. her Jenna series (fire and desire) is phenomenal, it makes me want to run laps outside and jump for joy. GO READ IT.

@samcrpenter listen... im on my knees for all of her recent content (minors sit this one out)

In the future I will definitely just reblog fics that I enjoy as I read them, I just didn't make time to do so and didn't want to spam reblogs onto everything. If anyone is uncomfortable with being tagged in this way and would prefer a direct reblog, please let me know and I'll be sure to make the change. I appreciate all of these writers so much and their content never fails to make me smile, go check them all out!

[heavenlydreamangelflyhigh]

Fun story! Tara the android upset me so much when I was 13 because of the theory that there was a woman who was buried alive screaming for help, and her voice would trigger the android to sing by some sort of mechanism I don't remember the details. It really scared me mostly because my best friend at the time was more afraid of it which by proxy made me afraid. Like only recently in my adulthood can I hear I feel fantastic and not get uncomfortable . I hadn't thought of her in so long til you reblogged her <3

OH MY GOOOOODDD i remember hearing about that at around the same age! i remember hearing that the clothes tara wore were also the clothes the abducted woman was wearing while taken & that her namesake was also that of the woman who was buried alive.. i still have zero clue where that theory came from, but i do know it took the internet a good while to find the creator of tara (John Bergeron) & there is still little known About him and his projects tara as a whole beyond her basic functions

i actually read a medium article fairly recently on the subject because i Always find myself circling back to the I Feel Fantasic video when i may need to torment younger family members..

i feel like weird shit is harder to come across organically these days and i'll be honest it makes me yearn for the bizarre sense of mystique the early internet had

[panicdeleter]

I'll do my best to give you a little bit of information. I'm not an expert, and systems and other plurals are a pretty diverse group, so I can't speak for everyone (but neither can anyone else) Let's start with the easy stuff. -No "secret evil murder alter". Do not do "secret evil one". Don't. If that's your plan for the story you can leave us out. Write about different people, and leave systems alone, if that is your goal. -You're asking about DID specifically, did's particular fundamental difference from other types of plurality is trauma. DID the diagnosis comes from a traumatic backstory. There's substantially more information about complex post traumatic stress disorder than there is DID, much of that applies to systems as well. Get familiar with fight/flight/freeze/fawn. It's pretty common to have variations and combinations of these in all your alters. -Dissociative amnesia is a pain in the ass. There are a bunch of different types of memory, dissociation can affect all of them. This is probably the best medical article about dissociative amnesia in particular, in my opinion. The most similar 'common' disorder that affects memory is ADHD, if you're familiar with some of their experiences surrounding memory on a day to day basis. It's super variable though. I can't give the best insight into day to day life in a way that would be useful for writing anything that wasn't boring as shit because I'm mega disabled (by the DID.) and don't get out much, but reddit.com/r/discussdid exists to field questions from singlets (and keep them off the main subreddit. Most systems aren't active there because being a curiosity is... uncomfortable. Most systems go through an average of 7 years of mistreatment and diagnostic testing and surveys and bubble sheets and more psych evals and even more psych evals and medication that's wrong and side effects and misdiagnosis and all of this may also be occurring while they *remain* in the abusive environment that made their system in the first place (imagine antipsychiatry 101 here) As far as decent portrayals, I, and at least a few other systems like petals of a rose. Maybe unintentionally some systems (and I) are also into Venom. I've heard mixed but positive things about United States of Tara, although I haven't watched it personally (and probably won't.)

There are also like, common alter tropes, persecutor protector little etc etc. But I also don't care enough about classification in my own life to have resources just on hand for that. You can reblog if you have more specifics about what information you need, too, I guess. But also my system leans covert, rather than overt, so... less interesting, as always, than the more overt systems with more self knowledge.

Hello wonderful systems! I’m autistic and one of my special interests is neurodivergency as a whole. Since it interests me so much I have been writing a story (fanfic) that showcases different disorders, disabilities and mental illnesses. I don’t have DID and don’t know anyone who has DID but I would like to include a system in my story. It’s very important to me that everything in it is educational and accurate, showing what daily life is like and most importantly the struggles each thing causes. So ig if any(one??) system would like to help me with that, or just talk to me since I just enjoy the brain as a whole, or has good resources to learn from I’d really appreciate it :))

I love you I’m proud of you drink water 💕

[kurosukii]

𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭

hello everyone !! this is probably an overdue announcement already lmao but i think it's for my peace of mind as well because i feel guilty for being shit at interacting for the past months. (this is not me leaving tumblr btw, just lessening interactions and trying to recover from a burnout) navigation.

i don't usually like talking about things that are going on in my life because this is a safe space for me to get away from the shit happening in reality but as much as i want to escape it, it will always catch up.

the last time i posted a fic and properly interacted here was december 2021. since then, life has been a constant turmoil for the past 5 months. you may or may not know, but it's the national and local elections here in the philippines (in just a few days actually). because of that, the lives and future of millions of filipinos are so unsure. and before i am anything else, i am a filipino first.

can you imagine the son of a dictator that selfishly ruled the philippines for over 20 years, plunged my country into billions in debt (that we're still paying to this day), committed heinous crimes against humanity, and many more atrocities actually having the chance to rule over the land once more? it's absolutely sickening—how history has been easily forgotten, how historical revisionism is their main goal.

it's not an exaggeration but the 2022 elections are a do or die, now or never, good vs evil moment. the whole world is watching every move we make, trying to see if we filipinos are truly a forgiving, gullible, stupid culture or if we filipinos are hungry for change, good governance, and can fight against a political dynasty that will ruin our very democracy. they are the marcos family.

we have a good fighting chance, actually. it's why the stakes are so high. there's a woman that emerged from the ashes of disinformation, heckles, negative campaigning, and every other shit they threw against her. she is leni robredo, the lone female presidential candidate. the only one who is qualified to lead the country and lift us from the despair we've been living in for over six years. the best man for the job is a woman, and with her, we can clearly see the hope that we have been desperately longing for.

indeed, the future is female.

standing by her side is kiko pangilinan, the only man qualified to be her vice president. he is running against the daughter of our current president, the president that sowed hate and discord within the hearts of filipinos, grew troll farms, and committed crimes against humanity with his extrajudicial killings for six years. they are the duterte family.

but i digress, because of everything that is going on, i can't be the person that i like on this website. i'll still be here, lurking and probably reblogging art and fics when i feel like it but i've turned off my asks because i feel overwhelmed. i don't know when i'll really go back to writing and interacting, but this is me for now.

i hope that this time next week, life will be different. but the good kind of different, the good different that every filipino deserves.

tumindig para sa bayan, para sa kulay rosas na bukas, para sa radikal na pagmamahal. tara na, at ipapanalo natin ito, dahil sa gobyernong tapat, angat buhay lahat.

if you want to know more, i'll be leaving some links below.

the marcos revival || international criminal court goes after duterte's drug war || who is leni robredo || the last man standing is a woman || bakit si leni? (why leni) || who is kiko pangilinan || bakit si kiko? (why kiko) ||

mabuhay at laban pilipinas, bayan kong minamahal.