#i'll admit im not entirely sure what the story is

[rearranging-deck-chairs]

blorbo from my show

“what do i want, what do i want? what, my brother, i want from you? i want the power, i want the happiness that was robbed from me. i want my right and i will get it very soon”

[eternalera]

I'm making an analysis of this scene because fuck it, it means sm to me

so basically the scene im talking about is the one above and why (because fuck you l like adam and lute) it means so much to me

first off when do we actually see adam smile and im not talking about when he's being an asshole to charlie or making some unfunny sex joke. I'm talking about when he looks genuine.

Like he looks actually happy, not entertained but happy because thats what it is with charlie. He's smiling because he's entertained with her reactions and how pissed he's making her.

Whenever we see him smile it has this almost evil feel to it (whether that be with the teeth in the mask that he wears or not although it probably is... i'll get to that later). It feels like he's meant to be the villain. He's meant to be someone you're meant to hate. So why in this scene does it make you feel bad for him and lute? (almost depending on the person cause yes i know some of you jumped up with joy at this, i aint judging)

it makes you feel bad because there's something human in this scene whether we like it or not. that also comes with the removal of their masks. we've never seen adam without his mask so him losing it in this scene provides us with the sense that 'hey hes still human' he's not some eldritch being sent from hell/heaven. he's a guy.

this also comes with the removal of lutes mask. we see her genuine emotion. we actually see her being to cry something that honestly seems almost out of character for her seeing as she's pretty much that one character whos like 'fuck it lets power through this'

this also is similar to adam smiling cause it shows you that in the end he wasn't a total asshole.

but back to the masks. the masks make them have pretty sharp looking teeth which is something that we associate with sharks or some sort of predator. yet removing the teeth (actually adam doesnt even smile with his teeth) you suddenly get a lot more of a human feeling

they dont feel like a villain anymore (even though thats what they are) they feel like a person. it doesnt make him feel like a threat anymore so you have an actual ability to feel bad for him.

but moving on (i ramble a lot so this may not stay on track but its fine :D ).

our last scene of adam in this entire show (im pretty sure like yknow... direct scene) is him smiling. him showing genuine human emotion. because whether or not you guys wanna admit it adam was the first human, and he does have feelings that pertain to humans. so why have this be our last view of him? of him being quite literally beaten down.

well personally i feel like this is because the show wants us to see him as lute sees him. she saw him (as from what ive gathered) as a genuine friend. she actually liked his company and liked hanging around him.

so this pushes her idea and avenging adam or getting revenge for his death. if we didnt have this scene her just getting upset at lilith and taking charge randomly and getting just randomly mad at the hotel would be kinda... eh.

like it wouldnt make for that good of a story.

but with our last moments of adam being him smiling at lute it shows us basically something else. that he cared, for what? we dont really know but he cared for something because its clear that the extermination failed and adams dying. hes fucking dying something he seemed so upset over two seconds ago screaming and shouting how he shouldnt die or whatever

so its most likely that he cared for lute making this scene all the much sadder. besides its the only thing we can assume seeing that lute was the last thing that he saw before passing on.

also ive seen theories that make a lot of sense with lute being the only one who stuck it out with adam till the end. lilith left him, eve was created from his fucking rib and yet she most likely left him. so he probably died pretty damn along the first time around

so lute being there for him and showing that she cared for him and that she still cares for him probably meant a lot. most likely because she stuck around until his death, she stuck around till the end which once again, he died alone the first time and dying with someone with you the second probably means a lot

anywaysssss yeah thats it byeeee

[howtofightwrite]

Was reading through your torture tag and noticed a lot of stuff that was being said seemed to contradict things that were said on the scripttorture blog... do you have any suggestions on how to clear things up? Im not sure which things to trust

And you're asking us, because they've posted once in the last two years?

I'll admit, I have a fairly low opinion of them, and that's not directly their fault. For years, one of their fans, would regularly send some pretty incendiary asks our way. In fact, some of the less hostile ones were answered, and may be the posts you were looking at. Understandably, the ones simply accusing us of being torture apologists, demanding we redirect all our asks to their blog, or insisted that we should sit down and shut up, did not make the cut. With that in mind, please understand, I'm not going to go digging through their blog to refresh my memory, so some of this might be slightly skewed by the aforementioned deranged fan.

Look for the blog that does not constantly contradict or misrepresent their authoritative sources. Which is to say, if you actually pay attention to Shane O'Mara's work, it's basically what we've been saying all along.

If you're unfamiliar, O'Mara is a Neurologist who was (last I time I checked) working at Trinity College Dublin. He published a, frankly fascinating piece, called, Why Torture Doesn't Work, in which, he set about trying to answer why torture is an ineffective tool for intelligence gathering. O'Mara also had the misfortune of being the only expert who said anything close to the perspective Scripttorture wanted on torture.

An open secret about torture is that it is completely worthless for getting accurate information. This has been widely understood for centuries, if not millennia. O'Mara's question was, “why?”

It turns out, that the neurochemical trauma associated with torture, seriously interferes with your ability to accurately access information. For example: If you're being tortured, you can't tell your torturer where you planted the ticking bomb, because your brain literally can't access those memories.

Torture is evil. Yeah. No shit.

And, this is where ScriptTorture stops. “Torture is bad,” and Jack Bauer is an incredibly unrealistic fantasy, end of story.

Except, this is not the end of this.

Now, generally speaking, I don't blame anyone who wants to get off the ride here. Torture is an unpleasant subject, and wanting to stop at, “oh, it's evil,” is entirely reasonable... unless you want to write on the subject, or if you do political analysis and need to understand why people break out the torture implements.

More than that, this is where my academic background in political science actually comes into play. I'm not saying this as an Eagle Scout who had a couple overly enthusiastic hand to hand instructors when I was a kid. This is (part of) what I studied in college, and I have kept an eye on it since then.

If torture didn't work, you wouldn't see state-sponsored torture pop up repeatedly throughout history. It would not be one of the favorite tools of dictators and despots. However, because it does, and it is, simply saying, “it doesn't work,” isn't instructive or meaningful because it's clearly untrue. Someone is finding value in this, so it becomes important to understand what they are doing, and why they are doing it.

When you torture someone, the information they provide is basically madlibs of whatever leaked through their brain. They want the pain and stress to stop, and they'll say anything they can to make that happen. That often takes the form of what they think their torturer wants to hear. O'Mara's research does explain why they don't simply cough up the truth.

So, why do it?

Torture is a very labor intensive process. You (as an individual) can't, realistically, torture multiple victims at a time, and it is a very drawn out process. Some elements can be automated, your torturer doesn't need to be present at every moment, but they're going to spend hours, if not days, working on one victim. Worse, this is actually a technical profession. It's not like you can just pull in anyone off the street and get the results you want. (Though, technically, this doesn't seem to be as true, however, amateurs do have a shocking capacity to screw up torture. So, the point remains valid.)

The value of torture has almost nothing to do with the victim. It's about the message it sends to everyone else.

Torture is about mass coercion of the population. When you are the state (meaning, the government), and you torture someone, you are telling your citizens that you are willing to do the same to them, if they oppose you.

State-sponsored torture is specifically a tool to suppress political engagement. It is, quite literally, state-sponsored, domestic terrorism.

This even holds true in cases where the state employs torture to extract confessions from criminal suspects. The message sent into the general population is that dissent of any kind will not be tolerated, and that the state has the willingness and power to turn these tools on you if you draw their ire.

I get that this is outside of ScriptTorture's area of expertise, and in fairness, I probably would not have studied this with any intensity, if I hadn't taken multiple classes on revolutionary theory.

Torture from private organizations (which is to say, organized crime, and religious institutions, though cults and some other groups might fit this description as well), follows roughly similar patterns. These tend to do the same things, discouraging dissent, and establishing the organization as having power over the population (or community.) (The technical term would be to “establish capacity.” Which is to say, the organization's capacity to enforce its will. The same term applies to states, though in those cases, the state's capacity is often overestimated by its population. It's only when it starts to falter, for example through military defeats or serious civil unrest, that they really need the capacity boosting part of this equation.)

Zealotry or stupidity can create situations where you have a torturer (or, more likely, someone in a position of power ordering the torture) who believes that it is effectively compelling the truth from the victim. This (or amateurs) can easily lead into a distinct problem, which is that all of this has diminishing returns. Torture one person, and you send a loud, clear message. Torture ten, and all you've added to it is that you're willing to keep going. However, as you start stacking up the victims, you do start sending a new message to your enemies, that being, you're going to get to them sooner or later so it's in their best interest to respond now, mobilize and retaliate proactively, before you get to them. This means that a state which leans heavily on torture can easily instigate the civil unrest that exposes their limited capacity leading to a political death spiral. Alternately, if the state does have the capacity to put down the resulting unrest, it further reinforces their position (which does happen with depressing frequency in the real world.)

You're also going to create new enemies in the friends, family, and loved ones, of the people you tortured. This means that any organization that relies on extensive use of torture will, eventually, start tying a noose around its own neck. (Granted, there are a lot of social dynamics that I'm skimming over here, so it's not exactly as simple as “if the state tortures lots of people, it will result in increasing unrest.”)

If you want a partial citation for the above, you can (ironically) find it in a podcast interview with Shane O'Mara, when he explained why torture has been employed repeatedly through history. (Specifically I think it was episode 15 of Your Welcome, by Michael Malice. Though, I'm not 100% sure off hand.) Though that doesn't cover some of the more in depth elements I just discussed. Some of this is coming from a textbook on revolutionary theory I can't locate (it disappeared in a move a few years back.) Though that was more interested in the general structure of a state destabilizing into internecine conflict. Ironically, my preferred citation on torture, Fear up Harsh by Tony Lagouranis is mostly uninformative in this case, because his experiences were on the ground, rather than from a structural understanding of what his job was really doing. However, he does illustrate my comment about amateurs making even more of a mess, both through personal experiences with a few, and also through the eventual trajectory of the invasion and occupation of Iraq.

But of course, torture is evil... again, no shit. Was that really a question? And, I'm apparently a torture apologist for having a structural understanding of why evil people do evil things. Cool. Evil people don't do evil things because they're evil, they do them because they gain some tangible benefit from those acts, and they do not care about the consequences to anyone else. If you ask someone, “why do people do this?” and their answer is, “it's simple; they're evil,” that person is lying. They may be lying to themselves, but they are lying to you.

Why do people use torture? It's a lot more complicated, and unpleasant, than you'd expect at a simple overview.

-Starke

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[jeankirsteinsgirl]

The AOT Guys on Your Period

a/n: I'm on my period rn and its so awful and just wanted to imagine what the aot guys would be like when reader is on their period <33

CW: fem reader, pure fluff, periods (duh), slight mention of blood

Jean:

Literally the sweetest

totally watched a bunch of youtube videos and listened to podcasts about the "female experience" so he can try to understand what you're going through

"I'm right here baby, I'll lay with you as long as you want" then proceeding to let you be the little spoon all night long

gives you the best back rubs when you're cramping to soothe your muscles

Puts on your favorite movie to distract you

Lets you cuddle into him while watching said movie and strokes your hair the entire time

just the most gentle ever.

soft delicate touches, he's scared of accidentally hurting you when you're on your period

Would stop by the store after work to get you flowers and chocolate becuase he knows it's a rough time for you.

Your favorite kind of flowers of course (he knows all of your favorite things bc he's so thoughtful)

Constantly compliments you because he knows you feel disgusting

"No baby I mean it, you're so beautiful like this"

"There's no better feeling than having you lay on my chest"

"I can't believe I have the most beautiful girl in the entire world"

His big strong hands rubbing little circles on your belly omg

Would run you a hot bath for your cramps (see soft jean for more ;)

bought you one of those stuffed animals that you heat up for cramps and was so excited to give it to you.

Literally smiling like a 5-year-old when he told you he had a surprise for you and got so excited when you like his present.

only calls you babe and baby because he doesn't wanna accidentally hurt your feelings by calling you by your name

looks like a big teddy bear, is a big teddy bear

snuggles all the time

always worried about you

would definitely be one of those guys with an "i love my hot girlfriend shirt"

Eren:

Likes to joke about you being on your period when you're off of it but is always super considerate when you're on it

"Ts okay babe I'm right here" while he kisses your forehead to make you feel better.

Drapes a blanket around you on the couch to make sure you're comfortable

brings you food from your favorite restaurant to make you feel better

knows what you order of course, he pays attention

Frowns and acts all tough when you call him a cutie pie

"I am not. I'm just being a good boyfriend- I'm tough okay"

sure

You have ex fuckboy Eren totally wrapped around your finger

He's literally at your beck and call, not because you asked him to be but because he's so in love with you that he just wants to do all the sweet cheesy things with you

Would never admit all the cute things he does for you in front of his friends

Used to be a firm believer that getting kicked in the balls hurt more than period cramps until he met you and you changed his ways

lets you hold his hand and squeeze it when you're in pain

If you get nauseous he stays up with you all night, telling you little stories to distract you

Reluctantly holds your hair back when you throw up

Gives you his clothes to sleep in because they're looser and more comfy.

Adores seeing you walk around in his t-shirts and pajama pants becuase they're so big and it's so cute

the next time he wears them they smell like you

Would offer to rub your back but can't do it without getting horny so he doesn't :(

"Hey a real soldier isn't afraid to get blood on his sword that's all im saying..."

Levi:

Just like Eren in the way that he acts super tough most of the time, even more than Eren.

Rarely calls you cute names like "baby, honey, sweetheart" but totally does when you're on your period

The fact that it's so rare for him to do this makes it even more special when he does

Makes you blush every time

Would hold your hand as often as possible, rubbing little circles into it with his thumb

Not a fan of PDA but would hold your hand in public and let you kiss him on the cheek

If you're feeling especially emotional that day he'd put his arm around you and rub little circles into your shoulder with his slender fingers

Shows his affection in the most subtle ways

Would go grocery shopping bc you were out of food and come back with a stuffed animal he thought you might like from the store

"Yeah whatever, 'ts not a big deal just thought you might think it's cute"

You would wrap him in a bear hug and he would secretly blush, determined to maintain his "tough guy" exterior

Would'nt pick up food for you but would cook for you instead

Your favorite food of course

Doesn't get horny easily like a teenage boy so he could give you a massage whenever you wanted wherever you wanted

would offer to get things for you so you don't have to leave bed

Loves being the big spoon and would be wrapped around you all night

Like I said earlier, when you're on your period he tries to subtly be more sweet (he thinks you don't notice)

speaks so much more softly to you when you're on your period

is just more gentle in general

you're so needy for him both emotionally and physically and you'd want to be wrapped around him all week

and he'd let you

Armin:

Ik I said Jean's the sweetest but I changed my mind its Armin

THE CUTEST EVER

super smart so never had the misconception that periods were a walk in the park

knows all about hormonal cycles and how things would affect you differently

"I got you some dark chocolate, it's really good for soothing the cramps because of the high concentration of magnesium which eases the uterine lining so-"

"Thank you Armin" is all you'd say and giggle at the research he put into helping you

Constantly touching you, not in a sexual way but in a romantic, protective way

Holding your hand, arm around your shoulders, forehead kisses, cheek kisses, his hand on your knee when you're sitting down.

Constantly checking in on you making sure you're okay

always asking you to tell him how you're feeling and what specifically was wrong, kind of annoying but very endearing.

Would sit with you and watch whatever you wanted all day as long as it made you happy.

Would bring you whatever you want. Coffee? picked up. Blanket? on your lap. Heating pad? Plugged in. Takeout? Ordered already.

Genuinely the most thoughtful boyfriend

does everything you want before you even have to ask him it's like he reads your mind

Lets you lay on his chest and fall asleep, not moving until you wake up on your own even if his arm is asleep

Whispers sweet nothings in your ear when he thinks you're asleep but sometimes you hear them

"You're the most beautiful girl in the world, I'm so lucky to have someone like you"

"Watching you sleep takes my breath away every time"

CEO of cheesy love-sick boyfriend

Reiner:

Acts like Levi on the outside is actually Armin on the inside

Always so worried about you all the time, ESPECIALLY on your period

hates seeing you in pain so does whatever he can to make it better

constantly reminding you to take advil

one of those boyfriends who thinks drinking water will make it better "Just try it babe it can't hurt. It works, I saw it on TikTok"

Totally captivated by you

actually thinks you're really pretty on your period bc he loves seeing your natural beauty

picks you up to carry you to bed so you don't have to walk

Gets you flowers as often as he can to remind you how much he loves you

clueless about periods but very enthusiastic!

"I was talking to Armin and he said vitamin C was good so I got you a bunch of oranges from the store!"

thanks babe...?

Always calls you babe or baby, sometimes princess

you're mainly princess on your period, he wants to make sure you feel special

adores cuddling it's like his favorite thing ever and is so excited when you want to cuddle more because you're on your period

loves feeling how small you are against him and smelling your hair as you're curled into his chest

so possessive

would buy you things constantly

his love language is definitely gift-giving and physical touch

smothers you with hug all. the. time.

not opposed to period sex

would share a hot shower with you to ease your cramps

he'd wash your body for you and kiss the top of your head and your shoulders

would kiss every inch of your body to make you feel beautiful

the most protective boyfriend in the aot universe I said what I said

looks like a big scary grizzly bear on the outside but is a teddy bear on the inside just for you

[makoredeyes]

Keep it coming you say? 👀 I saw that tag! I'm ~quite~ bored, so here's a couple questions/whatever they're considered, lol.

Yes, flattery will get me very far here, indeed! To where? I do not know, but whatever, compliments! You deserve them. I'm rather sure my friends are tired of hearing me go on and on about destiny characters, ':)

How's your writing wip's going so far? I'm waiting very (im)patiently for any updates, I've totally not re-read everything forty-two times.. hope their all going well!

A little self indulgence here, but I like to think Andal Brask was the Hunter Vanguard when Osiris and Saint-14 were in, because.. come on, I'm rather sure the time frame adds up. I like to believe before, because their dynamic just seems really fun to me. Lots of great opportunities. (I partly blame that one fanart sylenth-l made of Andal and Osiris for this, it was really funny). What do you think their dynamic would be like?

What do you think it'd be like if the Iron Lords mysteriously came back alive? 👀 I'm talking, SIVA couldn't actually kill them because their ghosts hid in the light in their bodies, and SIVA only goes after non-organic materials right? Maybe it couldn't work it's way into the light, and as long as their ghost + light are intact, = alive. But *only* after the Warmind managed to get control over SIVA and free their physical bodies from harm? It's a thought I had, influenced by a few fics but I quite like the idea. Just imagine, a ghostless, lightless Osiris receiving word that maybe, they weren't as dead as he thought they were. Or Fel and Timur coming back only to realize what happened to Osiris?? Poor Sagira?? Learning lady Efrideet's alive? 👀 (Is that her name?)

Or perhaps, In this one fic, it's Timur and his special, take over your will little stunt he has, was keeping SIVA at bay, I think that's pretty neat too! So many possibilities! (If you were the one that wrote these, I hope you see this as a compliment cause I am not about to go dig through Ao3 to find them xD)

Either way, it'd be like a modern!au of the iron lords, for them at least, hah (I can just imagine Gheleon having a mental breakdown that their memorial involved fighting one another)

I can't really think of anything, but rest assured I will *probably* be back once I'm dome tormenting my poor boy Tevis

Ahaha yeesss YESSSS I feed me I'm such an attention whore lmao RIP XD. (fr tho bless you ;_; )

I am writing! There are longer gaps between posts rn because I have lots going on in my life, but also, because I am working on many fics at once. I counted the other day I have 26 WIPs but six I am actively working on in concert - three for Housefire that are all directly intermingled plot and timing-wise to the point where I'm not even entirely sure what order I'll be posting them in yet, another chapter for Things Found (I am trying to stay 2 chapters ahead with that to make sure I have a cohesive story for it), and two XXX stand-alone one-shots! I should fish out another teaser for everyone soon. I think it'll be one of the one-shots that makes it out next tbh they're the furthest along. But the naughty stuff is also the slowest to get written bc I yanno...can't write that stuff at work, etc. haha. But I've felt a new wind of motivation lately for writing and am picking away at these projects pretty regularly. <3

I'm going to admit I am not very well-read on the hunter squad in general, BUT iirc I believe Andal was Vanguard during the City Age. He was definitely around as I recall his presence in the comics. The problem with that time is that Osiris was largely absent. This was when the Cult of Osiris was gaining traction, and Osiris' obsession with the Darkness and the Vex was really heating up. He was neglecting his duties to the Vanguard (with Ikora often standing in as proxy for him) and he wasn't really paying attention to anyone else. Like. At all. There was a lot of unhappy tension even with Saint at that time. Andal, by all accounts, was a damn good fella though, and while I think just about everyone nettled Osiris, Andal also stuck up for him where he could. Even if Osiris couldn't appreciate that in the moment I'm sure he would come to later. I look at Osiris and see him as he is now, with some hard lessons learned and some hard losses under his belt, realizing a little too late some of the damn good souls he had in his court, Andal included. All of that said, 100% in a lighter, easier setting, a free-spirit like Andal (and/or Cayde...heaven forbid them both together!) would drive a stuffed shirt like Osiris up an absolute freaking wall with pure comical results, hands down.

(a side note, a brain storm, an insane thought that just poisoned my brain - a sweeter moment hidden from time: Andal's guitar and this gift of song Saint has hinted Osiris has....??????! I'm not melting it's just hot in here, right???)

As for Ironsbane and SIVA... I have INDEED put an awful lot of thought into this. Quite a lot. So much. I have my own ideas on ways to circumvent the disaster, O Reader Mine, but you're going to have to wait a while longer for me to write it. :3 (Housefire is, after all, ultimately, a fixit )

*but no SIVA attacks whatever it is programmed to, organic or not: and Rasputin set it on hundreds of Iron Lords and wiped them all out with the sole exception Efrideet and Saladin with the directives “REPLICATE, ELIMINATE, IMMUNIZE” it was not what SIVA was made to do but he deliberately repurposed it into a weapon. (I could go on for years about Rasputin and his darker epochs, but especially his misappropriation of SIVA lol)

** Your mention of Timur and his spooky skills DID remind me of another fic I need to get back to as well OTL TT_TT I still have requests I took in January I have yet to complete. At this rate it's going to take me all year to get them all done and by then I'll be taking more aahaha whuups.

[littlebluentebook]

Alastor x Reader pt.6

A/N Oh my goodness! I didn't expect the story to get this much attention! Im going to do some sort of second story where Alastor and the reader are in hell. If theres no objections I'll also feature some helluva boss characters (just to advance the plot!)

I am very sorry for not updating! I went out of town, nearly broke my hip, got sick, and started a new job all in the last 2 weeks. I should be able to post once every three days now :)

Thank you to everyone reading the story! I love sharing my ideas and feel free to reach out if there are any stories you want to see!

TW-Animal Blood(?)

Chapter 7

You woke up in Alastor's arms. It wasn't on purpose! You both had agreed to split the bed, pride getting in the others way. Apparently, somewhere in the night you each reached for the other. Not minding the extra warmth, you fell back asleep. There was no point in moving away; you liked him, he was comfy, and kept you warm. The second time you woke up, the sun was bright and the bed was empty. Worried you checked the clock to make sure you hadn't overslept to open the shop. You had forty five minutes to get the store open. Not as much time as you would have liked, but also not anything too out of your range.

"Ah! My sleeping beauty, glad you're now awake!" a voice said from the doorway. Alastor? You thought he had left. "Come now! I have made us breakfast."

Alastor could cook. Breakfast tasted like it was picked up from a five star restaurant on the more expensive side of town. Over breakfast he told you that he was unable to leave such a beautiful person alone and you needed the rest from the previous night. He actually didn't leave you at all that day.

He sat talking with you in your shop keeping well mannered company. Alastor would never admit it, but he absolutely loved listening to you talk. He spent so much time talking on the radio it was nice to finally be listening to others. He never really cared for sewing but asked you questions about how you did certain things and complimenting your stitch work. He also would assist you while you worked; measuring, flipping things right side outing grabbing fabric as needed. He liked feeling useful to you and watching you work on something you were passionate about.

:Thank you so much for your help today Allie."

"Allie?" He tilted his head like a puppy hearing 'no' for the first time.

"Yeah! Like a nickname," you beamed at him. Alastor mulled the name over in his head before deciding it was okay when it rolled off your tongue and into his ears. No one else could ever be allowed to call him Allie aside from you.

"Hmmmm. Alright" He was at a loss for a nickname truly just wanting to call you his. "Why don't we go and fetch ourselves dinner. I know the most exquisite place!"

"that would be lovely!" Your demeanor was much calmer than your racing thoughts. First, Alastor had stayed the night and made breakfast. Secondly he spent the entire day with you. And now he wanted to take you to dinner! You felt like a romance character from the books you had read and heard stories of.

He had helped you close the shop, took your arm in his (it was the only way you two ever walked together) and he led the way to the restaurant.

It was a nice place with candles and flowers on the table. There was a live band playing softly to entertain guests as they dined.

Alastor was sweet and kind with you, he made excellent recommendations about what drinks to try and meals to order. You both split a cake together for dessert. The night was wonderful, absolutely perfect! The only thing that there you off was the way in which Alastor ordered his steak.

"Alastor!" you had whisper-yelled "that cow is so undercooked I can still hear it moo-ing in the fields. Do we need to have the waiter take it back for just a moment longer?"

"Haha oh no darling! I just enjoy my cut of meat like this. It holds so much more flavor!" You gave him a quizzical look swearing you had just seen blood dark as your wine pool on the plate.

When your night had come to an end, Alastor had walked you home and kissed your cheek. It had left you red and blushing thinking about it as you slept.

The next morning you had awoken ready to start your chores. You folded the blanket and pajamas that Alastor had borrowed and cleared a drawer for the items to reside in. Today you had a new activity you hadn't done in years.

You walked down the stairs leading to your shop and to the circular display table at the center of your shop. Grabbing the wilted flowers and vase you got to work and put them in your oven to dry them out. You loved keeping gifts, flowers were beautiful but difficult to keep but you made it work.

The entire day you were all that was on Alastor mind. He simply could not get enough of you despite spending the entire day together before. He was talking to his mother about the feeling and how he had never experienced it, unsure of what to do he was searching for advice. His mother was not helping the situation, she merely laughed at him. "Oh Al, why don't'cha go onna date together and court the poor thing!" What if you didn't like him back? What if he made a total fool of himself. His mother could sense his worries, "well whoever can put up with ya for a full day definelty doesn't not like you." She pinched his cheeks and went back to cooking for the both of them

[missn00tson]

Am I the only person that hated s4 of tua?

Look, i am a big fan of the series, and I was so happy when the new season came out.

And s3 was a bit long for me, in the sense that some scenes were boring, so I wasnt too unhappy with a shorter season.

But what was this

Spoilers for The umbrella Academy season 4!

First of all, the whole Five and Lila relationship.

They are platonic friends, like siblings. Who thought it would be a fun idea to make them romantic all of a sudden?

"Oh, but they got stuck in time for 7 years its only natural"

You have to be shitting me.

I've been celibate for over 7 years, you think I'd date my brothers WIFE if we spend time tgt for those years? No. Fuck no.

It doesnt even seem to click with Five's personality, because he's so insanely loyal and caring towards his family. He would not do that, if we were to follow his personality from s1 to 3.

This brings me to Ben.

I have never been the biggest sparrow Ben fan, I'll admit that. I've always been an umbrella Ben fan and sometimes I wished sparrow Ben was more like him.

So you can imagine, I was happy when he started to appear more caring for Jeniffer.

Until they totally switched up his character.

Yes, he was influenced by the bond (which reminds me of the whole nesting situation of the last episode, which I must admit was very entertaining) which made him more loving yadaydaydaya. But everyone shows their love in a different way, sparrow Ben' type of loving is in no way shape or form sweettalking and grossly cutesy forms of affaction.

You might think so (the writers apparently did) but I surely disagree.

So his personality was, as you might guess, also out of the window.

His talking brings me to my next point. The dialogue.

I'm not sure if its just me, but it was so.goddamn.messy.

It was no dialogue, it was just a bomb of one liners aiming for nothing.

It had no feeling, no personality. Its as if the writers saw the one liners we liked, pasted them into an ai engine, and let it spit out 100 new ones to fill the movie.

I would like to give specific examples, but it happened all.the.time. If you dont believe me, watch the last episode. The only in character person was Victor (even though he's not my bestie, I loved that they stayed true to his character) with wanting to save his siblings, standing up to their father, wanting to keep his peace but always choosing to help his siblings no matter how much they hurt him in the past.

He was the only one who felt like the same person as the other season. Even Reggie was a goddamn mess (and thats something to say about that uptight bastard)

Now this part is purely personal. But the plot? The scenes? The entire construction was such a mess.

First of all. 7 years in that station? 7years? Youre telling me that super smart old man Five didnt think to look at those lines first before stepping in that train? You think "I must know everything and enything about everything and anything" Five didnt look up, took a good glance at those letters and knew. "Mhmm. Thats that weird writing my father used. How bout I try to TRANSLATE it BEFORE i step on this mystery train?"

If you think him stepping on a random train, not even looking at the map he picked up is in charcater? Sincerely, quit shitting my dick cuz no way you think that.

And then him giving up on finding his siblings? He was in an apocalypse for what? 50 years? And he always kept the stupid eye, thinking it might save his siblings. And now, here he is, giving up on them cuz he' a lil lost in daddy's train station?

Babes, you cant be serious.

Im aware that this post is very opinionated, and perhaps negative, but thats just how itll be. But if you feel offended by anything here, I do apologise. I love the series aswell, but his season, felt more like a 12 year old' followup story of season 3 (and that is not to say that 12 yo' cant write, cuz some of them r amazing, but you get the idea) and I cant believe they actually funded this.

And that is not to start about the decisions they made. Ben making them drink the marigold? Five not just going back to that moment if he could time travel (which he coulve bcz him and Lila went back to the "present" which is 7 years earlier than when they were stuck). Then stop them from drinking the Sake/Marigold. Merging the marigold with Jennifer and everything is fixed? Bcz they didnt have their powers anymore?

Either way

I might follow up on this, I might not.

But I do hope that some share my opinion, even if many dont.

Bye loves!

[discar]

HZD Terraforming Base-001 Text Communications Network

Chapter 14 | Prev chapter | Next chapter Chapter Index

Zo: Aloy, is everything all right? You rushed out pretty fast.

FlameHairSavior: Oh, just more problems to fix. Turns out that even though we have the other subfunctions, we can't actually get HEPHAESTUS, because it deleted the Alpha Override from its code! Which I didn't even know was a thing that could happen!

β: iut likely

β: it was likely only possible due to both its programming knowledge and its distributed nature over the entire caldron network

β: calkdron

β: cauldron

Zo: I actually already knew that. Beta and I discussed this.

FlameHairSavior: So now I have to go find the Omega Override, which hopefully is in Faro's bunker, which hopefully is in San Francisco after all, which hopefully the Quen can help me get inside.

Marshall Kotallo: The Quen are the invaders from across the sea, correct?

FlameHairSavior: Yes. They use primitive Focuses, about twenty years out of date. I only met the one who didn't try to kill me, but she seemed nice. I think she'll help me get what I need.

FlameHairSavior: Also, she might think I'm a goddess, or something.

β: what

FlameHairSavior: It's a long story, and has to do with the Quen religion, which I don't understand.

Zo: How long will it take you to get to San Francisco?

FlameHairSavior: I have no idea. Probably a while.

Zo: Then you probably have time to explain why you think she thinks you're a goddess.

FlameHairSavior: [Exasperation.png]

Zo: And I'll keep Erend from making any jokes.

FlameHairSavior: Deal!

ForgeLordAleMaster: HEY!

FlameHairSavior: Too late, no take backs!

ForgeLordAleMaster: I DIDN'T GIVE YOU ANYTHING TO TAKE BACK!

ForgeLordAleMaster: WHAT WOULD I EVEN MAKE JOKES ABOUT, ANYWAY?

HIMBO: Probably about how this is the second religion that's declared her some sort of holy person.

ForgeLordAleMaster: THAT'S SOME LOW-HANGING FRUIT.

FlameHairSavior: I don't know the full details, but apparently Alva recognized me as Elizabet Sobeck. Thankfully, she seemed to realize that I wasn't actually Sobeck, but she played it up for the soldiers.

β: why would that even matter

FlameHairSavior: Seems like they worship the Old Ones. Or something. I don't know. It reminds me of the Nora revering the Matriarchs, except they're dead.

FlameHairSavior: She talked about the “Ancestors” and “the Legacy” a lot.

HIMBO: Are you sure you should trust them at all? Didn't you say the first Quen you met shot on sight?

Marshall Kotallo: There has certainly been no formal attempt at contact with the Tenakth. As far as I know, no soldier has survived contact.

ForgeLordAleMaster: SURPRISED YOU'D ADMIT THAT.

Marshall Kotallo: Downplaying a threat does no good to anyone.

ForgeLordAleMaster: TELL THAT TO AN OSERAM.

Marshall Kotallo: I... believe I just did?

HIMBO: So, Aloy, what's Alva like?

FlameHairSavior: Inquisitive. Better with a bow than I expected. I think you'll like her.

ForgeLordAleMaster: AND YOU'RE GOING OUT THERE TO SOLVE ALL HER PROBLEMS AND BECOME HERO TO YET ANOTHER PEOPLE.

FlameHairSavior: What? No!

FlameHairSavior: I mean, she already got what she needed. Mostly, I think.

HIMBO: Was it because of you?

FlameHairSavior: I mean, I just helped translate a few files for her.

β: is this the part where we make bets i think im supposed to suggest a bet

FlameHairSavior: No.

ForgeLordAleMaster: YES!

β: then i bet all my shards that shes in love with aloy before the end of the mission

Marshall Kotallo: Hm, seems you have some fire in you after all. Very well, I'll take that bet.

FlameHairSavior: No! You're not allowed to bet on that sort of thing!

ForgeLordAleMaster: PRETTY SURE WE'RE ALLOWED TO BET ON ANYTHING.

ForgeLordAleMaster: I SHOWED YOU THE SPORTS, RIGHT? THE OLD ONES BET ON ALL SORTS OF STUPID SLAG.

FlameHairSavior: Beta, where did you even get money?

β: erend taught me to play machine strike

β: he is not very good

ForgeLordAleMaster: I LET HER WIN A FEW ROUNDS SO THAT I DIDN'T SCARE HER OFF.

β: no youre just not very good

ForgeLordAleMaster: DON'T YOU HAVE A GAIA BOX TO BUILD OR SOMETHING?

HIMBO: Erend, I never thought I'd say this, but I think you need an ale.

FlameHairSavior: This is going to be a long trip.

Chapter 14 | Prev chapter | Next chapter Chapter Index

[pomefioredove]

im not sure if the 500 followers event/matchup includes anon asks but i'll try. (if you can maybe both platonic and romantic??)

i usually prefer they/them pronouns but im more generally gender fluid. im also asexual (not aromantic so i do get romantic feelings but its just harder for me to fall in love or develop a crush on someone). im in my early twenties (so definitely older than the main cast). im incredibly short (4"11/149cm but i think i've grown but not entirely sure how many). so i am quite insecure about my height especially when you're the shortest of the family. my main hobby is writing and reading. but im currently on writer's block so i haven't written anything longer than a chapter these past few months because of college. i also play games quite a lot but nothing like fps or any horror games.

im usually quiet when meeting with new people and once i get comfortable, i can get chaotic and i let out a couple of dark humor jokes here and there. and i prefer to stay indoors rather than outdoors. however, i wouldn't mind going out with people that i actually like/am close with. also, i tend to curse a lot and a bit tomboyish. i can also get a bit harsh with my words if i dont think on what i say and just say it outright.

also, dont rush and take your time. i know how stressful writing can be at times so there's no pressure in answering this one. thank you!

I match you with 𝐋𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐚 𝐊𝐢𝐧��𝐬𝐜𝐡𝐨𝐥𝐚𝐫 (romantic)

okay hear me out.

The First Impression:

"Not my circus, not my monkeys" Leona could not be bothered to take on more than he already has to, and that includes meeting new people. The first time you run into each other, it doesn't exactly leave a lasting impression. And the second time, the third... the fourth time you end up in the same place at the same time, you're basically as close as you can get to friends.

Why He Fell:

Honestly? It was your sense of humor.

Leona just... wasn't expecting it. For someone who seems like a prey animal, quiet and meek, hearing such a morbid joke coming from your mouth catches him off guard. It takes a lot of wit to come up with something like that, after all. You actually manage to make him laugh. You might as well be married at that point.

Obviously, there's more to you than meets the eye, and Leona suddenly doesn't mind hanging out with you more often.

The Relationship:

He ends up sticking to you like glue. If he's going to be stuck at this lousy school, he may as well surround himself with people he tolerates, right?

Well, he more than tolerates you. He likes you. (But good luck trying to get him to admit that out loud).

Over time, Leona finds himself caring more and more about you as a person. Your interests, your likes and dislikes, your home life... suddenly, he has this whole catalogue of information about you and he doesn't know what to do with it. So, he just hangs out with you.

Every little detail, he likes. You want to stay in? No problem, so does he. Your tomboyish tendencies? Perfect, he's glad you're not fussy. He convinces you to tell him one of your stories "to fall asleep to", but he ends up staying awake 'til the end.

Leona is oddly sensitive about your feelings, too. Once he finds out you're insecure of your height because of your family, he never brings it up again- and you can be sure that anyone who does is in for it.

Short Platonic Blurb w/Tweels

since you asked! I'm trying to limit this to one matchup per person, but I'm glad to do a brief platonic summary. I just think both Jade and Floyd would be enamored with your sense of humor and chaos, they would find it fascinating. If you were feeling insecure about your height, Floyd would offer to let you sit on his shoulders for funsies. They're the friends who drag you outside (once you're comfortable with them ofc)

[pansexual-puppy-pack]

day 5 of @theoraekenapperciation 's theo week 2024: college!

note: i don't know how community college works. non-american here. i didn't wanna do research. im sorry americans.

Theo dug his heels into the pebbled stone of the quad.

Beacon County Community College wasn't bad, really. It's just that Liam, Mason, and Corey had dropped him off a day before, helped him move into his dorm, and left him. Alone. In a new place with new people, and he didn't even know what he wanted to major in—holy shit, what was he doing here?

He should leave. He should turn around and go. And he could! He could pack everything back up, get into his truck, and leave.

He was about to.

Like, give him a second, he'll do it.

Fuck it, who was he kidding.

Theo started walking towards Building B.

It wasn't... bad. (Yeah, Theo was skeptical. He'd never really been to any kind of college before, and although he'd memorized the map before setting foot on campus, he didn't really know his way around. In a more social sense. It didn't help that he was surrounded by Liam, Corey, and Mason yesterday, who kept pushing him towards various different groups of people that Theo kept walking away from.)

It really wasn't—it was actually pretty nice, Theo had to admit, as he opened the oddly heavy front doors and went to look for the main auditorium. Just his luck, a couple RAs with nametags were at a table covered in the school colors handing out flyers and pointing to a bunch of places.

Fuck it. Theo approached the table.

One of the RAs noticed and gave him a friendly smile. "Hiya! How can I help you?"

"Which way to the main auditorium?" Theo asked, taking a flyer she handed him.

She pointed behind her, where a crowd of people were flooding towards the end of the hall. "Turn right at the corner—which dorm are you in?"

Theo gave her a close-lipped smile. "Gansey Hall,"

She seemed to light up at that and tapped the arm of her co-RA. "Hey, I think this one's yours!"

He looked up from his laptop, where he seemed to be looking at a disgustingly huge spreadsheet, and turned to face Theo, flashing him a smile. "Hi! Henry, I'm the Gansey RA for floors three and four, you're...?"

"Theo Raeken," He introduced. "Dorm 4D."

Henry laughed at that. "God, 4D—one of my friends used to be in there. If you find any plastic rats, please tell me, I think she stole at least five."

"Noted." Theo nodded. The clock on the wall said he had ten minutes before orientation started. "Why?"

"How much time do you have?" The first RA asked. "Dot. Mare Hall RA for floors 1 and 2."

"Ten minutes," Theo said, glancing back up at the clock. "Nine." He corrected.

"Not enough time, I think," Henry said. "I'll find ya when I do. For now, you should be getting to orientation—have fun!"

Theo decided to test the waters. (Wouldn't do any harm to get in his RA's good graces.) "Listening to a room of old people talk for two hours? Always." He said, heavy on the deadpan sarcasm as he started to follow the crowd.

Henry and Dot's light laughs echoed behind him. (Good. They like him. Hopefully.)

He got a text on his phone.

liam: Don't forget to be normal about making friends

Well. Theo wasn't entirely sure if what he just did was normal or not.

In the auditorium, Theo decided to flip a proverbial coin and take an unoccupied seat between two people in a middle row.

They were pretty nice, too—on his right was a nice lady in her mid-forties who started regaling him with a short version of her life story (Margaret), and on his left was a seventeen-year-old teenager who really wanted to be a full-time archivist (Dmitri). If by "normal", Liam meant "people around Theo's age", he'd already failed it once, but Margaret took a liking to Theo and gave him her number after she learned that they'd be taking the same Biology class, so a win was a win. Dmitri also handed Theo a little crocheted mouse after the orientation, so.

Once it wrapped up—thankfully without incident and without any classes that day—Theo went back out to Henry and Dot's table, where they quickly asked if he had any snacks on him.

"No," Theo said. "But I could grab you something from the vending machine around the corner if you want,"

"Oh my god, please," Dot begged. "I like, need a chocolate bar right now."

"Anything. Literally anything." Henry said. "You could shovel me dirt from the quad and I'd eat it,"

"Okay, jesus," Theo said lightly. "I'll be back."

More than a couple thank you's followed him down the hall as he blew fifteen bucks and five minutes on the vending machine, returning to the table with two handfuls of candy bars and chips for the two of them.

"Holy shit, thank you," Henry said, ripping into a bag of chips. He ate one and whispered, "You get one free pass for this, use it wisely,"

"Henry!" Dot whisper-yelled, unwrapping a chocolate bar.

"What?" Henry asked. "He doesn't look like someone who'd need it, anyway, right, Theo?"

Theo nodded. "If my dorm's trashed, it was my friends from highschool."

"I'll take your word for it," Henry said, making a zipping motion in Dot's direction when she opened her mouth to protest.

Theo greeted them a goodbye as he walked off. He wanted to explore the campus.

[stormyoceans]

Maybe part of all this is the fact that we(I) went into Vice Versa with no expectations, didn’t even know these actors that well, not sure what to make of the trailer 🤷🏽‍♀️ and for Last Twilight we were(I was) already nomnoms and expecting a tear-jerking masterpiece from the great P’Aof and it just had to be perfect! Maybe we(I) put too much pressure on this show to stick it’s landing 😔

i do think part of the disappointment im feeling comes from the high expectations i had for last twilight tbh ;;;;;;;

like you said, i personally didn't know jimmysea before vice versa outside of jimmy's role as wai in bad buddy, and i went into the show without any kind of expectations, so i was able to enjoy everything that happened without worries. last twilight was a whole different experience altogether, because i waited for it for an entire year, and during that time i came up with so many theories and predictions that my anticipation for it was just insanely high. it was also a different kind of story tho, a story about a main character with disability that was finally gonna bring some kind of representation in the industry and that was gonna mean a lot to that community, so i always needed them to stick the landing

i also didn't want a polarizing ending because i already went through jimmysea getting unnecessary hate during vice versa, and i didn't want it to happen again. i think one of things that's hurting me the most rn is seeing people saying 'nightphorjai and marknamtan saved the show', which is way too similar to the 'tesstun/fuseaou and ohmnanon/aouboom should have been the main pairing' comments i used to see back in the days

and as i said, to me it's not even just about day getting his sight back, i don't have a disability so i don't think i have any right to speak about this over actual disabled people (although day talking about his blindness as a 'dilemma' and the 'worst page' of his novel and how he's back living a normal life now does NOT sit right with me at all), but it's also about the break up and how they treated mork and day as characters (i personally wasn't too comfortable with the way mork just kept pushing himself on day, but that's just me). people can say what they want about vice versa, and im objective enough to admit it's not a perfect show, but i'll be damned if p'x didn't know his characters and remain true to them until the very end

this being said, im still grateful to p'aof for giving jimmysea a chance and helping them gain more popularity, and i also still love the relationship he has with the boys. above all, what happened with the show doesn't change how i feel about jimmysea one bit and i look forward to keep supporting them in the future

[yearningandpatheticaboutit]

CHAPTER 17: SAINTS AND SINNERS

WC: 5560

warnings: death, blood, mentions of 🍇, sa, violence, drugs, murder etc.

prev chapter

***

Yaera

"santo falcone made me give anya the drugs that killed her."

im sitting in my living room with my parents, with our legal representative sitting beside me. i knew this would happen, my parents quizzed me all night on my whereabouts and demanded to know the truth. even though the "truth" was not what they liked, i kept calm and let myself be questioned. the entire stance is that i have nothing to hide after all.

but that doesnt mean they believed me.

it was an uphill battle, getting to this part. even as they sit and look at me, i see the cloud of doubt in their eyes. they dont believe me at all.

"and what was your relationship like with the deceased?" the investigating officer asks me.

"they simply modelled together," my mother butt in before i could answer. "anya was three years yaera's senior. they did not see each other often."

the investigative officer looks at me for confirmation. i nod.

"and the last time you saw the deceased?"

"at an organized event," i say. "my parents and everyone was there. its where santo made me give the drugs to her. she took some infront of me and was fine."

"what was the behaviour of the victim like?"

victim? my parents told me anya's death was immediately ruled a drug overdose. she had that shit all in her veins. why is it that we're using words such as "victim". it implies someone other than herself was involved.

but i guess now with my story, thats the angle we're going with.

"she was like herself...a little more erratic than usual. she was excited to see me."

"and why is that?"

"we were friends?"

the investigative officer hums and writes something down on his notepad. i look to my lawyer who shakes her head, assuring me we have nothing to worry about.

"i thought you didnt know each other that well?"

"it feels like youre trying to look for a story where there is none, officer min. my client has done nothing wrong. shes an 18 year old girl who was coerced by a man in position of power," my lawyer says firmly.

"miss irina muñoz and miss claire galizia alleges that miss marino sold miss jelavić bags of pills that she mixed with cocaine, which then resulted in her death. that is a serious claim which has to be looked into. drug trafficking carries more of a weight than possession."

"i dont know why they would say that. ive never been on any drugs," i say. "ive done some underage drinking, but thats it. santo manages those girls, he feeds their drug habits. i dont know anything about this!"

"according to mr and mrs marino, both miss muñoz and miss galizia have been admitted for drug abuse in the past. they were forgiven because mr and mrs marino have known them since they were girls. it is possible that they have relapsed and fed lies while under drug induced psychosis. they are models and are often overworked, im sure you know how things are, mr min?" my lawyer added in.

"hmmm." the officer gets up from my parents couch and tucks his pen into the pocket of his suit.

"i'll be in contact, mr and mrs marino. i'll have to contact mr falcone for his piece on this. so far we have opposing accounts from both parties, which proves there is dispute. we'll open a docket soon."

the officer leaves our home, and i swear my parents breathe for the first time. my father is pinching the bridge of his nose. i dont know how to feel. they're going to open a case.

i cried when i realized anya was really gone. of course i cared about her. the tears stopped when i realized irina and claire ratted me out for no goddamn reason. i didnt feed her those fcking drugs. she was on hard shit regardless of my involvement.

"dont worry, they have nothing on you," my lawyer says and smiles at me. "the most he can do is apply for a warrant to search your house and the judge loves me, i'll make sure it doesnt get approved. as for now, dont go anywhere, you might be under surveillance, your hang out spots may be under surveillance as well. if you have any digital footprint relating to the sale of paraphernalia, let me know immediately."

my digital footprint was an old nokia phone with no gps, untraceable calls and no real existence because i smashed that phone to bits in san's apartment and scattered its remains on my way home.

"can i talk to you ms kim?" i ask her.

"call me dahyun."

"speak infront of us," my mother demands.

i shake my head. "no, im sorry. i really need a moment alone with her."

my mother looks at me enraged. "a moment alone–?"

"its fine, mrs marino," dahyun says with a smile. "im sure she just wants peace of mind."

i take her up to my room, where ive started to fucking stress. she sits down on my bed and looks at me with concern.

"are you worried about something, yaera?"

"no ones gonna know what we speak about, right? even if you find out im guilty?"

dahyun straightens herself and gives me a stern look. "there is complete confidentiality between a client and her lawyer. if you are guilty, i will always act in your best interests. its my job to always secure the best outcome for you, yaera."

"okay. can calls be recorded? on an old nokia phone?"

"no, but cellphone records can be kept and found through the nearest cell tower. this only gives you a general location of where the call was made though, not who its from or what was discussed on the call. they're usually kept for 6 months to 2 years. why? is there something youre worried about?"

im relieved, but tears start to pool in my eyes from i dont know what. i flick them off my cheek quickly.

"i had a call with the girls about the drugs on a second phone, which i destroyed after i found out anya overdosed. i just dont wanna look more guilty," i say weakly.

"its fine, yaera. thank you for being honest about it. you dont worry about looking guilty, that man coerced you. and coercion is a valid defense. is there anything else i should know about him?"

i tell her about that night. i let it all spill out. his attempt to assault me, what he did to me and my sister for years. by the end of it, dahyun is looking at me like i gave her a solid case.

"thank you for that, yaera. im sorry to hear about what happened with you and your sister. i should get working on this case as soon ASAP," she says, picking up her briefcase. "i'll keep in touch."

dahyun leaves my room and my parents are quick to barge in. i dont know if they were close by the entire time, but they were properly angry by the time they got to me.

"do you have any idea what you have gotten us into?" my mother says. "we will have to go against santo!"

there it is, the rush. the rush of getting out of here. the glimpse of hell that is being under their scrutiny and scope once again. ive had a good streak of behaving so far. its a pity anya had to break it.

my mother looks at my hopelessly. "really yaera?" she sighs. "please, please if you gave that girl the drugs, just admit it to us."

"this is going to disappear in 2 weeks anyway," my father adds on. "you might as well tell the truth."

they really think i did it. its laughable. i havent once had a run in with drugs. ive had a problem with smoking and drinking, but not once have i put my nose to a counter or even touched a joint. they know this, and yet they think its still possible.

"so you think i did it?" i smile bitterly. "you really think im capable of it?"

believing seasoned druggies over me. god, they hurt my heart.

"for what reason would irina and claire have to lie, yaera? they are your friends!" my mother snaps, fed up. "for gods sake! please, just spare us all and tell the truth, yaera. i dont know what to do with you anymore, really. you have hurt this family over and over."

"we give you EVERYTHING!" she cries out, actual tears rolling down her face. "and you do this to us. every single time its like our name means nothing to you!"

seeing my mother cry fills me up with rage i didnt even know i could pull out of me.

"fuck your family name," i seethe. my parents stare at me in utter shock. "your family name meant nothing when you chose santo over believing me. so many fucking times, you refused to go against him. you dont even realize how much YOU have hurt us by putting us under the eyes of that man. that fucking predator, do you even know what hes done to me? to US?"

"he tried to rape me. he tried to fucking rape me the night of that event. he had a whole relationship with yasmine when she was alive. when i stopped modelling, it was because he kept fucking molesting me. and you didnt see it, OVER AND OVER IT WAS INFRONT OF YOU. MY SHAME. MY FEAR. I WAS IN PAIN AND ALL YOU CARED ABOUT WAS THE FACT THAT I DIDNT WANT TO MODEL FOR YOU ANYMORE. FUCK YOU!"

throughout my rant, my screaming just got worse until i was left a sobbing mess. my parents just stood there like the lackluster humans they are. useless. disappointing. utterly unhelpful.

"what do you say now?" i laugh through my tears. "nothing to say about your perfect little santo?"

"he...he tried to..." my father stutters. and its the first time in my whole life he doesnt speak with conviction.

"yes, pàpa. he tried to hurt me. he almost succeeded."

and he would have. if san hadnt walked through those doors. and after that, i would have honestly killed myself.

my mother breaks down sobbing and drops down on my bed, holding her head in her hands. it isnt enough for me to see her like this. i feel nothing towards her.

"why did you never tell us?" my father asks. "really yaera, why?"

"why would i tell you anything. ask yourself if you are really good parents. if i can come to you for anything besides money and a way out of jail."

"that is not fair," my father says, shaking his head. "we have given you everything."

"but you did not keep me safe," i whisper defeatedly. "not from him. not even yasmine."

my father finds a spot on my carpet to stare at and i see a single tear drop stain the folds. i cant stand to see them process it. if they cant handle it, imagine how i felt.

all those times. over and over.

i wipe my face with the back of my hand and straighten myself. "i told dahyun everything. she'll use it to take him down," i say and walk to my door, grabbing a jacket off the hanger and shrugging it on.

"dont wait up for me. im not coming home tonight."

they dont try to stop me from leaving. i dont think they'll be able to, ever again.

***

san

wooyoung and i hang out on the rooftop of mao's club, overlooking the dried out city infront of us. wooyoung leisurely sips on a beer as he leans on the parapet, staring at the late afternoon sun over his sunglasses as though we're in some movie.

that's the thing with him really. he romanticized this gang life so often that i think he forgot how far things can go. how bad it can get. wooyoung was never the kind of guy to think things through till it was too late. he thought things wrapped up on their own, just like in the movies.

i used to get angry as hell at him. he was in this gang longer than me, yet we didnt see things the same way at all. its like he never really feared for his life, because in his head he'd never lose it. he was the main character with plot armour.

watching yunho die was the nail in the coffin. that illusion shattered completely.

"are you sure with taking on everything yourself?" woo asks me. "i dont want that shit on your conscience man. i fucked up, it shouldnt have to be you."

me doing it myself was the only way i'd be satisfied that we'd have a job well done. "i told you it wont bother me. i just want to get this shit over with, i'll get over whatever guilt i feel."

thats to say if i'll even feel guilty. i think the world would be safer without that hongjoong fucker walking around.

woo takes a swig of his beer, gulping it loudly. he takes off his glasses and tosses it aside, turning to look at me solemnly.

"im sorry for everything man. i know i probably ruined your life."

i pat his shoulder lightly and sigh. "dont take all the credit. you know that's my old man's work. we cant take back what happened. lets just work on making it out alive."

woo looks like he wants to cry with how his face scrunches, but no tears come. "i didnt think we'd separate so early. i knew you'd have to leave me to do some big boy job...but this isnt how i wanted things to end."

wooyoung in hong kong and me in cuba. i think its safe to say neither of us are ever going to see each other again. it makes my chest hurt.

"i'd rather have us apart than have us both dead over some bullshit like this," i say, hoping it comforts him. ive never been good at this whole talking about your feelings thing.

woo snorts and looks at his hands absentmindedly. "at least you won't be alone right? i guess this girl must be the real deal, sticking with you till the end."

i dont even want to smile about it. it comforts me a lot, knowing i wont be alone. knowing she'll be there till the end.

but then i imagine a few months from now. we make it out alive. we make it to cuba. yaera and i are together there. somehow shit goes sideways and she ends up in deeper shit. a crossfire she shouldnt be apart of.

that night when i left her, i pictured her dead body full of stab wounds and bullet holes. it made me physically ill. i couldnt even speak to her normally after that. my fear was paralysing.

"if i could, i'd leave her behind," i admit. "just to keep her safe."

knowing her, she'd kill me for it. and possibly never forgive me. just like me, yaera doesnt have much to live for here. ive seen her life and i'd run away from it as much as her if i had to go through all of that. our current reality was already considered the past. and even if we returned to it, nothing would be there for us anymore.

her and i were each others futures. despite everything, the way we started off and where we were now, i cant say i regret meeting her. i think shes the only thing that saved me from ending it all as soon as things were going bad. the one person who cared enough to bother me in every way, yeah she had her motives, but i know at some point, things like that stopped mattering.

we saw the worst parts of each other and yet...yet we still chose to go through all of this together. she had a choice. she couldve left whenever she wanted. but she never did. that soothed something in me. something i didnt realize i was always afraid of.

i think yaera marino saved me.

"you love her, huh?" woo hums. i know just from the mention of that word that my face is red because it feels warm. "i think she loves you too."

"i dont know. all i know is, i'd kill anyone that tried to hurt her. she'd do the same for me. thats what i know."

woo rolls his eyes at me. i know he thinks im a lost cause emotionally but hes not the one that gets to talk. i dont know what half my feelings are, all i know is i have them, they choke me up sometimes. sometimes they make me feel really weak and soft. i wont go slapping a label on everything, like that label would make things more sensible to me.

"i want you to see me off," woo says, thankfully changing the subject from yaera. "at the abandoned shipyard. after everything. least we should be able to do is say goodbye."

"so i get to see you off but you wont see me off at the airport," i halfjoke. "you're a real leech, you know that?"

woo smiles, its something of a defeated one. because thats really what we are–defeated. once we leave, everything will go to shit. im just glad i wont be leaving any family behind to possibly get hurt. and the one person i care about is coming with me.

"damn. after we do this, Miss A is going to get so much shit from the Black Dragons. shit is going to be all out war."

"no turning back now," i sigh. i cant say that i care too much about inconveniencing Miss A. she ruined my fucking life. she kind of deserves to sit with a mess. "plus, im sure she can find another lackey to help clean up whatever when we're gone. our errand-boy days are clean over."

woo shrugs. "we're helping her though, right? taking out the 2 biggest problems in the Black Dragons. this is the only way we'll send a real message."

fuck the message. i couldnt care less. i just wanted to give that witch what she wanted, take the money i made then disappear.

"no matter what, we're in this together. we started this mess together, that's how we'll end it," i tell him. wooyoung smiles at me, holding out his beer toward me. i dont resist, taking it by the neck and gulping down the rest of it. it burns my throat and i toss the bottle to the ground.

"hong kong is gonna be lame without you," woo whines. "mao's boys are gonna have me speaking fucking cantonese. im gonna have to roll with a whole new crew. you know how batshit those triads are?"

"hey, just imagine it'll be just like that video game you like," i tease him. "whats it called? watch dogs?"

"sleeping dogs," woo corrects me with a glare. "and fuck no. the main character's friend dies at the end, i am not trying to be like him."

well that was dark. "you'll play the story differently. way better."

"shut up. youre trying to hype me up when youre gonna be out there playing house with your woman. fucking cuba? you're knocking her ass up in a few months, i can already tell."

"i cant have kids right now," i mutter. though, it wouldnt stop me from trying. "i think the both of us just want peace. i'll see if she still cares about me when i dont bring any danger to her life anymore."

woo snorts. "if you're still looking for proof, you're a blind and deaf man."

my phone buzzes in my pocket. i completely wanted to toss it but i knew Miss A would start tripping and sending minions of her own after us if she couldnt reach me of all people. i expect messages from her, but all of them are from yaera.

i feel my head spinning reading it. she tells me that one of her friends died overdosing on our drugs and that she'll take care of everything. she has the nerve to tell me not to stress afterward, she booked the flight tickets, and that shes sleeping at my apartment tonight. at the end she tells me not to come home because theres a chance she might be under surveillance.

what the fuck?

"did she tell you shes pregnant or something?" woo nosily asks. i look up from my phone and scowl at him. he shrugs. "hey! i know you guys have been going at it like rabbits. i can see it on your aura."

"shut the fuck up woo, oh my god," i groan and show him the messages. woo shakes his head, looking both impressed and disturbed.

"i gotta say man, ive never seen two people more compatible. both your lives are absolutely shit. with the way you guys live, i can never guess what the hells going to happen next. least she gave you a heads up."

"you're one to talk," i fire back. "and as if that makes me worry less."

now i would have all of that in the back of my mind. one of mao's gangsters comes through the roof access door and calls for us to come down. our movie bonding cinematic scene was over i guess.

***

yaera

santo has never stopped trying to contact me since anya died. he probably heard i was throwing him under the bus, and now he wanted the truth. i'd give him that and more.

my phone rings again while i loiter around san's apartment, looking around for anyone suspicious. theres a telephone booth nearby, and i walk to it, punching in a coin as i dial his number.

"pronto?" santo answers.

"hey, its yaera," i say, and for a moment theres a brief pause before santo starts breathing heavily.

"tesoro..." still calling me that, arent you? "im so sorry for what happened at the gala...but what you are doing now...it is unforgivable. i cant allow it."

"you're right, santo," i sigh into the speaker, watching the cars blankly pass me by. "i really am sorry. my head is a mess, i cant handle anya's death and everything is confusing."

"why did you blame me?" he sounds hurt. what a fucking lunatic. "i would never hurt her. or you, or anyone?"

i smile, my hand gripping the phone tighter. "i want to fix things," i tell him. "can i see you, please?"

he pauses. i can imagine his fucked up smile behind the screen. "did it really take anya dying for you to finally say you want to see me?"

"get me at the old park tonight at eleven. on 78th avenue. i'll explain everything."

"why at a park? let me take you to dinner."

"i might be under surveillance, santo. and you might be too. i want us to talk with no interference, im scared of what it will look like if anyone sees us."

he sighs. "yes you are right... i will see you tonight. i look forward to sorting this out, tesoro."

"me too. ciao." i dont wait for him to answer back and slam the phone back into its holder. some old guy behind me looks at me strangely and i make my way up to san's apartment.

when i get there, i start making myself some eggs. when im in the kitchen, i noticed some of his fish died. san's been gone for a while so he hasnt replaced the water or fed them, and only one is left swimming around the tank. i watch as it slowly cruises in the greying water, all the dead mollys floating at the top of the tank.

tragic.

with all the bad shit thats been going on, i feel as clearheaded as can be. its scary to me, how calm i am at this very moment. a knock on the door holds back my foreboding thoughts and i go and check who it is.

i open the door slightly, seeing an asian man behind it. immediately as im looking at him, i know hes bad news. probably one of san's other gang members. fuck it, i know hes going to get mad at me for not listening to him about coming here.

"hello?" the man says, sounding confused. "sorry, does choi san live here?"

"no sorry," i smile despite my growing nerves. "i think you have the wrong apartment."

"huh..." the guy smiles, and its unsettling. "so you live here? whats your name?"

"i cant just give out my name to strangers, amore," i flash a flirty smile to throw him off. "i'll tell you mine if you tell me yours."

"my name's hongjoong," the guy's smile grows and i have to stop mine from fading. i know hes not one of san's guys. in fact, i think hes the reason they have to go missing.

showing straight up to his apartment? was he going to kill san? does he know about me?

"thats a cute name. im marina," i hold out my hand and he shakes it firmly. "well hongjoong, i cant help you. but i hope you find who you're looking for."

"i hope so too, sweetheart. you have a good day."

hongjoong starts walking away and i dont go back into the apartment until i see him disappear into the lift. when hes out of view, i quickly lock the door and call san. it irritates me when he doesnt answer, and i decide to drop it because i know hes going to force me to leave the apartment.

that guy was going to kill san. but what the fuck did he think was going to happen, was he just going to show up and shoot him? come in and have some tea first?

god we have to get the hell out of here. these problems are becoming bigger than us. throughout the night i check the door to make sure hongjoong doesnt return, having done my research on him on san's slow ass wifi. the fact that i was flirting with someone who would have driven a machete clean into my gut is insane, but probably on brand for me.

san answers me when im getting ready to leave. i put on his hoody and mask, along with his black beanie. he calls me persistently right as im about to leave.

"hello?"

"why the fuck are you still there yaera?" san snaps at me instantly. "god, cant you listen to me for once? what if hes waiting for you there? what if he follows you?"

i cant guarantee that he wont, but i cant let him feel right. "he wants you, san. not me."

"hes a gangster!" san sounds like hes going to burst a vein. "a ruthless killer. and you're close to me, you dont think he'd rip you away from me on the spot?"

i sigh, at least i know he gives a fuck on whether i live or die now. "i know, i know. im leaving right now."

"its almost eleven, where the hell are you going?"

"to meet santo."

"what?"

san's voice in deep in confusion and its because i havent told him. was never planning to. this is something i needed to do alone.

"i want you to come get me tonight. can you do that?" i ask hopefully. "i cant go back home. not with everything going on."

"yaera..." san groans. "fuck. fine. where should woo and i pick you up?"

"outside the park. i need you to come as soon as you can."

"what are you going to do?"

"you'll know once i see you. bye, take care."

i hang up, and i know its fucked up but i need to be in the right head space. sans been my grounding force for a while, but i know i'll never be at peace with that fucker still being around. i need to end it all.

the park is dark and quiet, the faint light of the streetlamps barely making a dent in the darkness. the sounds of my converse crunching on the grass are accompanied by owls and the chirping of crickets, and the full moon is the the brightest thing in the sky. there arent even any clouds.

i take my seat on a bench near a lamp that looks like its on its last life. no ones around. i figured there'd be at least one ranger roaming, but i guess tonight was my lucky night.

no witnesses. just me and him.

santo emerges from the darkness, wearing a suit and his shitty fade is the first thing i see. he pauses in his tracks when he sees me, his face unreadable. i stand up and lower my mask, then i tuck my hands inside san's hoodie for warmth.

"tesoro," he says breathlessly. "how good to finally get you alone."

"you too," i say but dont move. neither does he.

"i didnt want things to be this way," he says. "really, throughout everything i just wanted to love you. and i wanted you to love me."

"like yasmine loved you?" i scoff with a wry smile.

his face falls. i cant believe he thinks i dont fucking know.

he laughs, genuinely shocked. "and where does that come from?"

"you were seeing her the whole time you were molesting me. only difference is, she fucking liked your attention. unlike me who'd rather die than be under your filthy gaze. i know everything. you probably killed her, didnt you?" i daringly say.

he stands there, his face darkening with my every word. its like hes remembering it all.

"so why did you do it?" i ask when he doesnt respond. "did she threaten to expose you for the trash you are?"

"i would never hurt anyone–"

"you tried to fucking rape me!" i scream. "more than once. you're capable of fucking anything!"

"i was trying to love you," he corrects me and starts coming closer. he stops right infront of me, his breath almost fanning my face.

"but you were always an ungrateful bitch and could never accept anything good. you deserve nothing. at least your sister was an angel. you? you are rotten, yaera. your eyes are empty. you have no light inside you."

"you took it from me," i seethe. "you took fucking everything from me."

he chuckles lowly, daring to smile in my face as he looks me up and down. "not everything. i still havent made you feel like a woman."

crazy how he thinks someone as hot as me is still a virgin.

"you've made me feel like nothing," i say. "you ruined me. youre a fucking rapist and a pedophile."

"really?" he tilts his head to the side. "well, if youre so ruined, then we must throw broken toys in the trash, dont you think?"

in a flash, santo grabs my face, maneuvering me around so he can choke me out with his elbow. i gasp at the sudden movement, clawing at his arm as he applies pressure.

"you want to know what happened to your sister?" he grits through his teeth. "fine, i'll take you to the same place as her. maybe you'll be happy with me then."

i reach back for his clothes, kicking the air hard till he swings me wildly. santo smacks into a tree with his back and momentarily loses his grip on me, and i grip the back of his suit into a fist before flipping him over my body and onto the floor. he tries to stand up but i stomp on his chest, pulling san's gun from the pocket of his hoodie. santo freezes when he sees the mouth of the gun pointed at his face.

"yaera..." he chokes, his hands going up in surrender.

"you fucking cunt," i growl. "i almost killed myself over what you did to me back then. now, i know the only one who should be dead is you."

he stares at me blankly, his breathing hard and erratic. he tries to quickly get up but i pull the trigger on him, grazing him in the arm. the first shot goes off and breaks the silence of the park. santo lets out a crushed scream, and i kick him across the face with the tip of my converse.

"you wouldnt..." he starts laughing erratically. "you wouldnt kill me. you're a fucking child. you dont have the heart–"

i aim for his head, firing another bullet, hitting the centre of his face.

smoke drifts from his mouth as his blank eyes stare into the sky. i see a pool of black appearing on the side of his head. its over.

its over.

i fire another bullet. and another. and another. i fire until the gun stops me with an empty click, till santo's face is full of leaking holes. then, i walk away, stepping over his body, pulling san's mask back over my nose.

***

tagslist: @mountiiny @brown88 @sansonlygf @mingkisbitch @yutaslaugh

if i missed anyone in the tagslist, please let me know.

next chapter

[atthebell]

not entirely sure what im meant to say here but iiii look forward to the spiderbit event ^_^ cant wait to read everything you put out and then reread it every day afterwards^_^ big fan of the vampires and blood option in the fright section^_^

pix you will have so much to read and i'll admit i also read my own fics as bedtime stories so it's also great for me :D

here have a little excerpt of the vampires one also:

Cellbit presses his lips to Roier’s wrist, scraping his teeth over the sensitive skin.  “Cellbo,” he groans, not sure whether it’s a warning or a plea.  Cellbit laughs, his breath fanning across Roier’s skin. He leans back against him until Roier wraps his arm around him, tugging him closer.  “C’mon, guapito.”  Roier, as revenge, nips his neck lightly before tilting his head to the side.

[sailormanrahh]

yknow, not too long ago i was thinking about how much i wanted to loredump about grey sessions, but couldnt because im planning on releasing the first chapters at least in the next couple years. i dont like spoiling things, especially the seemingly final forms of my own projects. i dont have much of a problem spoiling other projects because those will undoubtedly evolve and change into something entirely different by the time i end up releasing them. and then i realized i could either talk about what the story was before the recent total revival and overhaul or introduce the characters as they currently are without giving much spoilery information. i think those two are pretty fun post ideas, especially the former, but thats for later. i'll be trying to include brief character introductions in the first post i make with new characters from now on.

heres val (or v for... even shorter?) shes a borzoi, though i admit going into this design four-ish years ago i wasnt thinking of specific animals or breeds for a lot of the designs i was making. during the overhaul, i realized i had no idea what breed of dog she is, so i just went with calling her a borzoi because of her long schnoz and hair. the ear shape says otherwise, so, for consistency purposes, im just going to explain that away by saying her ears were cropped and splinted like a dobermanns. shes 29 and owns a bar with her wife and a friend. she usually works as the bartender in said bar. i should clarify, the bar in this context is moreso similar to a tavern in fantasy settings like dnd. they serve drinks primarily, but also sell food and have rooms to stay in. they also do some sketch business practices (like favours) just like dnd!!!!! wow!!!! she also lives in the bar!!!!! anyways, personality-wise shes short tempered and sucks ass at trusting new people. shes quite cool when shes familiar with someone though. im pretty sure its not good to shave the hair of borzois, but oh well. she trims her hair anyway, thats why she has such a short coat on most of her body.

bleh. thats all. goodnight. (maybe?)

[dreamywolfdd]

Sonic Thoughts

this will be different than most of my posts, but id like to type this out since i been thinking bout it alot, nothing wrong is going on btw this is mostly me typing out my thoughts

________

but if you want a tl;dr:

not entirely leaving/done with it, but i want to focus on other stuff aside of sonic the hedgehog in general, i want to focus on my other interests and obsessions

________

i been thinking bout it and i decided that sonic superstars will be my last sonic game i'll buy for who knows how long

this does not mean i hate sonic now or i'm done w it or anything, but i been recently thinking bout how sonic's been these past few yrs, content wise and what i personally think bout it currently

latest releases such as sonic prime, sonic movie 2, idw comics and sonic origins made me think bout it alot, as much as i enjoyed the movie and liked the idw comic i got as a gift, this is a whole new generation of fans we speaking of now, its been more noticeable how a new era of sonic is here thanks to the movies and that makes me so happy but it also makes me realize how some of the recent stuff flat out isn't rlly my thing (like sonic prime), sure, they may be good on their own and such but there's some stuff i just dont think its worth for me to look at, but i do however hope the newer generation enjoys it alot, i dont feel like part of that target demographic anymore

one major thing that made me question it too is pmuch with the quality of games, i recently gave frontiers a second playthrough and it made me remember why i had a fun experience with it, but it also made me see the flaws it has aswell too, its not a perfect game by any means but you can tell morio kishimoto, lizuka and everyone at sonic team have been wanting to deliver an amazing experience for a while now, remembering how the director had to convince higher ups to get more time for development made me think alot, this will be a dumb comparison maybe but if there's one thing i would love for sega to have its give more time and budget for its developers and such, recently, even if sometimes nintendo has been very questionable and sometimes bad, i will give them alot of credit and respect by how they been treating their artists and devs recently, games such as tears of the kingdom and smb wonder, seeing how they gave alot of time to their developers and artists to craft such wonderful games, i definitely want that for sonic games to have as well too, it has been admitted before and it has been a thing i been agreeing for yrs too

whenever i look back at sonic fondly, its mostly games i played in the past and still replay and hope i will for many yrs to come, same with the era and type of sonic i usually enjoy the most too, its just something thats not there anymore and its usually what comes up in my head whenever i think of sonic rather than the recent stuff, not saying its bad or anything but its my prefered one just like how many ppl have their prefered and definitive version of sonic

i been playing and enjoying many other stuff aside of sonic for many yrs now, as a kid i remember always being sattisfied with a game from the famicom for example, or how games like cave story and super meat boy made me have a blast for hours, but i do noticed how in recent years its been lowering with sonic and what i mostly do is revisit the older games and played frontiers when it came out, for yrs i been enjoying exploring and enjoying many different types of games old and new, i highly recommend sonic fans to also widen their library of games (and media in general) to explore many hidden gems

i have many other interests and obsessions that cannot leave my head, so i want to give more love to those as well too, at a far distance, ppl will know right away im a sonic fan, but will completely ignore my other interests and outside of gaming as well too, so its also why i been thinking bout this too

so yeah, if you notice my lack of sonic stuff is because of that, again, i do not hate sonic or im done with it, but its been a question in my head i been contemplating for some time now since sonic pretty much is one of the main things i literally cannot live without (xd), i will still do sonic fanart stuff from time to time, i will still replay my favorite games and such and of course, i will play and enjoy sonic superstars as my last sonic game for who knows how long, i hope ppl who have known and met me because of my sonic stuff have that in mind maybe

if you've read all of my wall of text, ty, i dont think this will be read either way but if so, ty very much and hope you have a good one

[cowboy-robooty]

Robooty Reviews: Royal Servant (3/10)

Read this way back in middle school... shared mangago lists with one of my friends and recognized this one and decided to reread. Lord. Who Likes This. The story is about Kyon and his master Lucaon and theres like some plot bullshit since in this world theres these guys who are royals and got these powers that they never fuckin use and live longer too and are strong n all that. and the only way to kill one tho is to give them this special poison that is completely undetectable and the only way to cure it is if the person who administered it fixes that shit. But yeah Lucaon hates servants and Kyon is a servant and Lucaon is a classic stoic scum gong and falls in love with Kyon but only starts being nice to him once Kyon literally spends 20 chapters on the brink of death lol bro got a fever and slit his wrists and fell into an ice pond and then got a fever again and pneumonia and Lucaon went "..... ok ill be nice to you now"

the art is good for this story dont get me wrong but its really really really stiff expression wise. maybe i'm just a little stupid and i need to see a huge cartoon tear drop to tell a character is sad but for realsies I do think that the art is pretty, but the expressions when bitches are fucking dying and shit could be a little more extreme. its okay to sacrifice their pretty boy looks for one pannel trust me..

The romance itself is just like whatevs. I will admit I am a fan of how kyon will just take anything like bro does not give a fuck okay cuz hes madly in love with Lucaon and doesnt care what he does to him. Im pretty sure in one chapter Kyon is just walking in the halls and Lucaon lunges at him and bites him until he bleeds and kyon passes the fuck out from the attack and its just like ok lol. LUCAON DOESNT GIVE A FUCK HES SO MEAN TO KYON UNTIL HES SUDDENLY NOT BECAUSE HE HAD HIS SCUM GONG REALIZATION WHEN KYON TRIES TO LEAVE HIM 15 MILLION TIMES AND ALMOST DIES IN EVERY INSTANCE OF TRYING TO LEAVE. the upside to kyon is that hes a simp and a pussy and he is a bit of a little bitch but he isnt a whiny bitch about it. like lucaon is his tormentor and he finds out that THERES A POSSIBILITY that he could be the cause of Lucaon's demise and immediately is like okay ill kill myself i need to get out of here and thats why he almost dies 10 million times trying to leave bc he only tries to leave bc lucaon's blonde ass brother is like dude. you might cause Lucaon to die since you're a secret spy with your memories wiped. AND ITS KINDA FUNNY BECAUSE HE STRAIGHT UP SEES KYON ALMOST DEAD IN BED AND GOES "GOD I WISH THIS BITCH WOULD JUST DIE ALREADY" LOL!!

When i was younger i was a fan of the pink haired guy (lucaons other brother) and his servant who is his boyfriend and treated as an equal and yeah younger me was right tbh kind wish the story focused on them instead. but ngl i hate the entire family drama thing bc like its the plot and all that but im like WHO GIVE A FUCK? this manhwa is just mid. mid as fuck. I'll admit when i was younger i re read the 20 chapters where kyon is on the brink of death like 50000 times over and over again because i loveeee suicide and i lovee when kyon tries to kill himself a million jillion times and Lucaon is like FUCKING STOP. theres like idk tiny hints of goodness. I can enjoy a good scum gong alright and I do like when Lucaon is like "brah... ive seen you cry more times than smile..... thats kinda fucked" MMMMMMM YES. FEEL BAD. FEEL REMORSE. but its just not worf it okay the manhwa sucks and its 100 chapters or some shit like that bruh moment. I also do like how at the end Kyon acknowledges that hes going to die before Lucaon and Lucaon needs to learn how to love other people than him because he doesn't want Lucaon to be stuck on him forever and ever. I think it was a nice bittersweet thing. In short. just not my thing. mid. equivalent to eating spoonfuls of peanut butter for dinner. Like you can... wont be very satisfying tho