#i'll add to and edit these as and when i need to

[princetorn]

VERSES .

⋆ verse — to be a boy among the boys ( 1939 – 1954 )

canon . A childhood spent in the shadow of the Appalachian mountains – long summers, Little League, sweet tea, Sunday sermons – and a briefly awkward adolescence of braces and coltish limbs.  A child prodigy, they say.  He is a scab-kneed boy marked for sporting greatness.

⋆ verse — six cylinders underneath the hood ( 1955 – 1957 )

canon . Baseball was once his greatest love, but now he fixates on hot-rodding and his ‘Little Sweetheart’ – a Chevrolet Corvette that he spends his weekends diligently working on and his nights racing.  Royce has grown into himself.  He has motor oil under his nails, Brylcreem in his hair, and butane in his blood.

⋆ verse — all a ghost can do is haunt ( 1958 – )

canon .The end came sharp and sour, in a twist of shrieking metal and the lick of flames.  Murder, though he does not know it. Royce Clayton is dead, buried in a small plot overlooking the baseball field.  He has become a cautionary tale to the people in the town of Marshall, and his ghost is doomed to walk the earth.

⋆ verse — caged within jars like fireflies ( 1997 – 2001 )

Captured by wealthy explorer, collector and ghost hunter Cyrus Kriticos – with the aid of his psychic assistant Dennis Rafkin – Royce is transported to Pennsylvania and kept contained by Latin barrier spells.  He and eleven other spirits form the Black Zodiac, with Royce representing the Torn Prince.  Cyrus intends for the enslaved spirits to power the Basileus Machine, a contraption designed by a fifteenth century Italian astrologer while under demonic possession.  If successful, the device will open the Ocularis Infernum ( ‘The Eye of Hell’ ) allowing him to see all things, past and future, divine and damned.

⋆ verse — college is fun as long as you don’t die ( 1958 – 1962 )

Royce doesn’t die that fateful October night.  He lives to see prom, to graduate, to take up a baseball scholarship and move on with his life.  He still harbours a great love of hot-rodding, but baseball is his ticket out of small-town misery and he grabs the opportunity with both hands.

⋆ verse — it ain’t over ‘til it’s over ( 1963 – 1968 )

He did it, he made it, he’s finally famous.  Royce is a Major League Baseball player, his face is printed on posters and in the newspapers.

⋆ verse — when you’re over the hill you begin to pick up speed ( 1969 – )

By 30 years of age, Royce is past his peak and his time in the spotlight comes to a close. Retiring from baseball, he starts coaching the up-and-comers – but it isn’t the same as standing in the home plate with a crowded stadium screaming your name.

⋆ verse — professional crash test dummy ( 1958 – )

Royce doesn’t die that fateful October night, nor does he seize the chances baseball presents. Instead, he follows his hot-rodding dreams, and goes on to become a sports car racer.  James Dean would be proud.

⋆ verse — we’re gonna be together forever baby

exclusive to @shellcrack . Royce Clayton is in love with Miriam Ross – the prom king has found his queen, and he is saving for a ring.  What started out as a jockish bet has ended in something serious, with the hot-rod playing for keeps, making big plans for them to leave their small town behind.  Whether they make it or not, Johnny refuses to get out of the picture.

⋆ verse — crazy fun park

A teenager from a quiet corner of North Carolina is offered a baseball scholarship in Melbourne.  Generously bankrolled by Henry Clayton, Royce and Johnny jet off to Australia to tour the university.  Following an argument, Royce is involved in a fatal car accident.  Many years later, a theme park is built on the crash site.  It thrives, it dies, and it collects spirits along the way.  Alternative premise:  Royce is attached to a vintage baseball glove or card which Violetta gifts Nimrod, unwittingly bringing Royce’s ghost to Crazy Fun Park.

[moodlesmain]

Hi. Look at this.

I just spent two days straight making a digital conspiracy board trying to piece together my favourite genre that isn't really a genre and more just a very particular niche which doesn't really have a name.

If you want to look I reccomend downloading and zooming in on the image to read everything LMAO, I want to try and convert it to a page on my neocities at some point so its easier to view but for now you guys just get a big ol' jpeg. You're welcome :)

[s2pdoktopus]

Different ways Wei Wuxian can find out that his shidi is in fact a husband, a father or both (because gods It would be so funny)

Situation A.

Wei Wuxian visits Jin Ling who refused an invitation to night hunt. He thought his nephew was overworking himself and needed a break. A break that Wei Wuxian will harass Jin Ling into taking. It's his specialty and he had a lot of practice with Jiang Cheng.

When he arrived, he found Jin Ling distressed. Apparently a child he was babysitting decided onesidedly that they are playing hide-and-seek then disappeared. The Koi tower is filled with metaphorical snakes who might do harm to this child. Fairy, as it happened, was currently with Jiang Cheng who is in the Jin sect territory to handle a yao in Jin Ling's request because only Zidian can deal with this particular monster and Fairy can help him track it.

Wei Wuxian has questions about this scenario;

1. Why is the sect leader of Lanling Jin on baby sitting duty?

2. Why would anyone harm this child?

3. Who is this child?

Jin Ling is in baby sitting duty because Jiang Cheng brought the child with him to Lanling specifically to make Jin Ling not join the night hunt. It's very manipulative of him and very effective. And now there's a missing guest from Yunmeng Jiang that Jin Ling has to find.

Wei Wuxian promises Jin Ling that they will find this kid before Jiang Cheng arrives to break his legs.

So they go separate ways to find this child, they search the koi tower up and down for any glimpse of purple hiding in the corners.

It is Wei Wuxian who found the kid. Apparently the child has been moving from their hiding spots every time Jin Ling is near. The only reason Wei Wuxian found them is because he is very clearly not a Jin and the kid thought he wouldn't report to Jin Ling. "It's cheating to ask his disciples to help him find me." The kid sulked, "But I had practice! None of my shijie and shixiong ever finds me in lotus pier." The kid boasts.

Wei Wuxian asks, "And your parents don't worry when you disappear for long periods of time like this?"

The kid grins, "No. A-Die let's me hide under his table and he tells everyone I wasn't there! He makes me study though. It's boring."

Before Wei Wuxian can ask further questions, Jiang Cheng's voice echoes in the golden tower, "Jiang Rui! You come out right now or I will break your legs."

Instead of fearing the threats of broken legs and looking apologetic, the kid brightens up, "A-Die is back!" Then, before Wei Wuxian's brain can process the words the kid is gone.

Situation B.

Wei Wuxian infiltrated a group of demonic cultivators. There were a good number of them and he wanted to see what exactly they were planning to do together. They plan on taking revenge on the Sect Leader of Yunmeng Jiang, apparently. They were once greater in number and Jiang Cheng had raided their main base. Now all that's left are them and they want revenge.

Now, Wei Wuxian does not approve of them planning to kill his shidi whom he almost died for but he also thought, of course Jiang Cheng made so many enemies they banded together just to be his haters club.

They have a plan on how to torment Jiang Cheng. And apparently, it involves hurting someone precious to him. Not Jin Ling, no. They don't want to anger both the Jiang sect and the Jin sect, not to mention, Jin Ling is already a full-fledged cultivator who can defend himself. They will hurt Jiang Cheng's child instead.

Whatever other plans the demonic cultivators divulged did not enter Wei Wuxian's brain after that reveal. Jiang Cheng has a child Wei Wuxian didn't know about. He has so many questions. How old is the child? What's their name? When's their birthday? Jiang Cheng has a wife? Who? Who managed to meet the impossible standard and why did Wei Wuxian not know of her? Are there more baby nieces or nephews Wei Wuxian is unaware of? Why wasn't he informed? Is Wei Wuxian even allowed to see them? These questions can be answered later because first he has a Jiang Cheng hater's club to disband, disfigure, dismember and disembowel. They don't get to hurt his shidi's children. No one gets to hurt Wei Wuxian's not-family.

(Wei Wuxian receives an invite to the Jiang heir's birthday party, an invitation written by Jiang Cheng himself demanding that Wei Wuxian gift his child something good to make up for all the birthdays he missed. Torturing those shidi haters was worth it.)

Situation C.

It's been a good few years since Wei Wuxian came back from the dead. Today feels like a deja vu of the day he returned. Currently he is trapped in an immortal binding net, the baby Lans who are not so baby anymore are trapped, too. He was calling for Lan Zhan when a Yunmeng Jiang disciple came to them.

"Oh good, Young master, if you would so kindly free us, my husband wouldn't have to destroy your nets." Wei Wuxian says. Again, he thinks.

The Jiang disciple, instead of doing as asked, cheered. the disciple fired a flare and in no time at all, Jiang Cheng arrived. he scans the surroundings, scowls at his trapped ex brother then levels the disciple with a glare. "There better be an explanation for that flare, brat."

The disciple grins, "I caught the Yiling Patriarch, A-Die. You ought to sing my praises for this achievement." The kid cheekily says, as they avoid Jiang Cheng's grabby hands, leaping and then running away.

Silence enveloped them as the kid's laugh faded.

"You have a kid?!"

"Let's get you out of that net."

"No! Don't change the subject! you have to explain the kid first!"

"Right, you're married to a man so you don't know. Wei Wuxian, when a man and a woman love each other very much-"

"That's not what I mean and you know it!"

(There's 400 nets. Again. because this is Jiang Cheng and it's for his kid. Jin Ling donated another 100 nets for his cousin to use. There were 500 nets in that forest that night. Thankfully, none of them were destroyed. The little Jiang heir came back to his father bearing a ghost general who is also trapped in a net. Jiang Cheng chased him all the way back to lotus pier, the Jiang disciples put the nets away before following their masters.)

Situation D.

Wei Wuxian doesn't know why but Lan Qiren asked for him. There's probably a rule he broke but he breaks them enough times that he doesn't know which rule warranted the summon. What Lan Qiren does is not scold him but ask, what is the best gift one could give to the heir of the Jiang sect?

The Jiang heir is turning 100 days old soon and Lan Qiren would very much like to give the child the best gift from the Lan. There's probably some political reasoning to this gift giving competition. Something along the lines of the child being a bundle of joy for simply possessing the blood of the Jiang, like a ray of hope after the reveal of decades old betrayals. Something about looking good by giving a baby a simple gift.

To Wei Wuxian it feels like ice water dumped onto him. He severed their ties but he didn't think of how it changes their relationship, how that change will manifest itself.

Jin Zixuan had graciously invited Wei Wuxian to Jin Ling's 100 day celebration. Jiang Cheng didn't even tell him that his child was born.

(some angst for funsies)

Situation E.

Wei Wuxian is drawn to go back to Yunmeng. There are waves of rumors saying the name, "the Twin Prides of Yunmeng." He has to see. He has to know: who did Jiang Cheng replace him with? Are they worthy of the name? (How could Jiang Cheng use that name for himself and Wei Wuxian's replacement?)

On his way, he found two Jiang cultivators night hunting close to home. He accompanied them, found himself praising them for their team work and coordination, and watched them be thanked by the town's people. "The Twin Prides of Yunmeng Jiang", they call the kids. Jiang Cheng is there, too, shoulders stiff ever since he saw Wei Wuxian. The town's head says, "you must be very proud of your children, sect leader Jiang."

Jiang Cheng, "they're immature and still have a long way to go." But he ruffles their heads and orders them to hurry home and make themselves presentable.

Completely independent from Wei Wuxian's promise, Yunmeng Jiang finds themselves with new twin prides. Siblings. Twins. The new blood of the Jiang clan, Jiang Cheng's children. Looking at them feels like looking back at himself and Jiang Cheng of the past.

Situation F.

Wei Wuxian is with the kids night hunting. Him and Lan Wangji are still traveling. They just happened upon the juniors and decided to join the night hunt. One mystery leads to another but surprise of surprises, Jin Ling bows out of the hunt. The juniors are confused, Jin Ling? Refusing an excuse to get away from sect business?? Annoyed by the exaggerated mock surprise of Jingyi, Jin Ling says that there's an important business in Yunmeng he has to deal with. Ouyang Zizhen then reminds everyone that sect leader jiang's child is turning 2 in a few days. Jin Ling adds that he has to give his baby cousin the bestest gift. He'll be in Lotus pier a few days before the celebration. No one is surprised about this supposed child of Jiang Cheng. "Oh, yes, the Jiang heir. Please tell them that the Lan said happy birthday."

Wei Wuxian: "Why did no one ever bother to tell me??"

Jin Ling: "You should have figured it out yourself, aren't you jiujiu's brother?"

Situation G.

Situation H.

Nie Huaisang: Wei-xiong, I'm so sorry I couldn't come see you immediately, I was entertaining my little niece, she wouldn't let me go unless I taught her how to paint flowers. You know how kids are!

Wei Wuxian: I'm only here to ask about this spirit-

Nie Huaisang: Yes, of course. Follow me, I'll try my best to help. Thank you so much Wei-xiong, for handling this problem.

Wei Wuxian: I... Didn't know that your brother had a daughter.

Nie Huaisang: Oh! She's not Da-ge's! She's Jiang-xiong's actually! It's a miracle he's even letting her come visit.

Wei Wuxian: Jiang Cheng's what?! Since when??! And why are you her uncle?!

Nie Huaisang: Jiang-xiong's Xiao An is turning 8 this spring so I guess Jiang-xiong has been a father for 7 years? Though I guess we can argue that he's been one for far longer? Ah, I don't know if that's really the case! Xiao An calls me uncle so that makes her my niece, no? Honorary uncle! At least she has the eye for art! I'm gifting her a bird for her upcoming birthday. Do you think Jiang-xiong will be all right with that? Wei-xiong? Wei-xiong?

Wei Wuxian will start fishing information about this newly found niece from Jin Ling. Tell him everything! It's important. There's an uncle-lympics happening and Wei Wuxian is losing on the top one spot on both the Jin Ling fave uncle race and the Jiang An fave uncle race! (According to him, he's only losing because both his competitors had a headstart)

Situation I.

It's the Gusu lectures and the Jiang's are attending. It's the shidis of Wei Wuxian's former sect! He tries his best to get to know them with various levels of success but one shidi is stubbornly avoiding him. This to Wei Wuxian is just an invitation for extra attention. He will soften this one shidi's heart out! He tells Lan Sizhui and Lan Jingyi, "Haha! He's just like Jiang Cheng!" and the two looked at each other with worry (Lan Sizhui) and disbelief (Lan Jingyi) and they told him "Senior Wei, that young master is Sect Leader Jiang's son."

Ah. Suddenly it makes sense why he looks so much like Jiang Cheng. Wei Wuxian has many many emotions about this. Mostly various kinds of sadness. But look at the bright side! Jiang Cheng's kid is in Wei Wuxian's new home! He can get to know his nephew without Jiang Cheng glaring at him to stay away (Lan Zhan, Lan Zhan! I'm an uncle of two! Can you believe it? Jiang Cheng managed to find a wife. You have to tell me everything you know, Lan Zhan!)

It's a hard battle to get to know his other nephew. But he'll find out that it's easier when he's talking about his time in Lotus Pier. The kid doesn't like him clearly but he likes hearing about his dad's youth. The kid is also easily offended on his dad's behalf and jumps at every opportunity to fact check Wei Wuxian. Obviously, it's a double edged sword to get the kid's attention by insulting his dad (Wei Wuxian always does it with or without meaning to)

Wei Wuxian will learn that the kid is hellbent of fact checking him because the kid doesn't like the rumors about his father. The kid doesn't have friends outside of the Yunmeng disciples because he doesn't want to be friends with people who lobby insults at his father.

- Actually. Jiang Cheng had to go to cloud recesses. Apologize to Lan Zhan and talk to his kid in private after the kid insulted Lan Zhan. Wei Wuxian still wants to get to know the hellion so he convinced Lan Zhan to let him stay. The little Jiang heir seemed to still want to fact check everyone so he also chose to stay when given the option. And Wei Wuxian decided that, actually, maybe letting the hellion champion his dad will get him somewhere with the kid. Where? Somewhere close to the uncle zone hopefully.

It's a wrong decision because every time the kid blabs about how awesome a Yunmeng Jiang led by his dad is actually, Wei Wuxian just misses his old home more and more. He just missed Jiang Cheng more and more.

Now, a happy ending will be him being liked enough by the Jiang heir that he gets an invitation.

The devastating ending is if (following the meta that Wei Wuxian ascribed Jiang Cheng to be just plain awful ™ to justify not wanting to face him and the consequences of his actions) Wei Wuxian, after gaining some trust of the Jiang heir, says something to refute the boy's "my dad is awesome" speech. The boy clamps his mouth, glares at Wei Wuxian and says, "oh you are just like them." And then leaves the... I dunno? The campfire, roasting fishes and the group of the disciples from various sects who would rather eat with the Yiling laozu than to eat the Lan clan's food. He doesn't see the little Jiang heir until Jiang Cheng came to pick his son up. To add salt to the wound Jiang Cheng whisper shouted to him, "what did you do this time?" It sounds like he is blaming Wei Wuxian for his son choosing to drop the Lan lectures. In reality Jiang Cheng knew Wei Wuxian would try to get to know his son. He knew his son would like Wei Wuxian, everyone does. Even Jiang Cheng does. He is asking what Wei Wuxian did to screw it up.

Situation J.

(Chengxian)

I am not really into the mpreg but please consider:

Wei Wuxian getting summoned to Lotus Pier for official business and getting billed for child support. Apparently his golden core managed to get Jiang Cheng pregnant somehow. Jiang Cheng didn't blame anyone for that because he thought the golden core was his. Now that it's revealed that the core is Wei Wuxian's, well... He's not! Asking Wei Wuxian to come back to him. But he is asking Wei Wuxian to at least be in their kid's life?

And... I honestly dunno how Wei Wuxian will react to this but he will be insufferable

Situation J.1

The other idea is Jiang Cheng not wanting to tell Wei Wuxian. Like, he already sees his mother in himself and he doesn't want his kid to grow up with that environment. Wei Wuxian prefers Lan Wangji and Jiang Cheng will let Wei Wuxian go.

The thing is... Jin Ling does know that his Jiujiu got miraculously impregnated by his own golden core (like wow! restored and providing Yunmeng Jiang with an heir, the miraculous core that keeps on giving) and Jin Ling was there when Jiang Cheng asked Wei Wuxian, "why didn't you tell me?"

When Jin Ling asked his Jiujiu "don't you have something to say to Wei Wuxian?" he was referring to the pregnancy. Jiang Cheng said there's nothing to tell but Jin Ling will be damned if his cousin grows up thinking his... Mom? Dad? Hates him enough to leave. So Jin Ling told Wei Wuxian. (Let's all be thankful that Jin Ling didn't let the how questions marinate in his head or he can very well conclude that it's... Without consent)

We have two possible scenarios now.

A. Wei Wuxian, thinking that his dear shidi is weakened by this delicate problem and concluding that he is the best help so he barges into lotus pier and Jiang Cheng thinking that Wei Wuxian just here for the baby.

B. Wei Wuxian, thinking that Jiang Cheng is delicate right now and doesn't need to get so angry, which he definitely will once Wei Wuxian enters the picture so he hangs back but keeps sending the lan juniors to check on Jiang Cheng. Jiang Cheng, finding out why Jin Ling's friends are suddenly very interested in Yunmeng culture and Jiang Cheng enough to want to visit often and thinking that Wei Wuxian knows and hates Jiang Cheng enough to also leave their baby behind.

Situation K.

(Zhancheng)

Jiang Cheng intrudes on Wangxian's happily ever after because he has to help Jin Ling stabilize the Jin sect and "someone has to take care of our child, Hanguang Jun." Jiang Cheng is about to make many enemies in Lanling and he'd prefer if his ex husband is there for the little one, you know? In case some assassins get sent to their kid for Jiang Cheng's transgressions. Lotus Pier is secure but Jiang Cheng's paranoid brain needs the extra insurance.

No, you can't take the baby with you on your honeymoon traveling. Wangji, I don't believe you or your new lover knows how to feed a child, ah ah ah, no. Lan Sizhui is fed by his uncles and aunties, go to lotus pier and protect the kid. It's all Jiang Cheng asks.

Wei Wuxian can't even focus on the fact that he is in lotus pier without Jiang Cheng haunting the corners because... Holy shit, Lan Zhan and Jiang Cheng are ex-lovers. How is there a child between two men? Why did they divorce? And their kid is so cute, the baby has no right to be this adorable!

Maybe it will lead to zhanchengxian who knows.

[outlying-hyppocrate]

coming back here feels like paying a visit to the fucking dead.

[seaofreverie]

I listened to a new Sparks album and it was all I could think about for two weeks straight afterwards, a.k.a. My Hello Young Lovers Review

Okay, so here's my fabled review (I mentioned having written it once about three months ago, so I guess there's a chance that someone still remembers that). It's hecking long (seriously, it's long.) and consists mostly of me pointing out specific sections of the songs and raving about which specific elements of the songs I particularly like. And also attempting to make some sort of general statement on the style / atmosphere / themes etc. of the whole thing. I wrote this back in november, after 5 full listens of the album, over the course of about a week, and I didn't update it with any new opinions that I have formed since, to keep it true to that original form, besides some side notes where I thought they'd be useful to add. I hope you enjoy my yapping, however unprofessional and all over the place this whole thing probably is.

How to start album reviews? Well, I could sum up the general vibe / thing / feel / theme with the album but that seems much more fitting for the conclusion of the whole thing.

So let's kick this off with the first thing we see instead!! The album cover, the sleeve! (note: I got this album on vinyl for that first listening experience, the 2022? reissue) Ohh so pretty and cute, isn't it? Even inside, so much pink, even over-the-toply-so (for real though, I didn't even really think about what to expect from the inner cover, besides some photos that I knew would be there, but it was certainly not THIS. level of pink and cute), it looks so pleasant and sweet, doesn't it? And the band photos too, fun times all around!

Oh wow, ok, let's get back to reality here, I knew what I was in for (knowing just one track and excerpts of other two + reading misc comments on the album before already, as it is inevitable, you know. And frankly, that was actually the exact right amount of info from that commentary for a peak enjoyment here. Not going in totally blind but still encountering many surprises). This is a prime and, imo, very well executed example of mood dissonance. In a way where, idk, maybe it comes from me still having this even small amount of info beforehand, but it's the kind of situation that you can actually tell that something is off.

So yeah, the visual aspect of the album does fit it and I'd even say it does so VERY well, but as to how and why, maybe I should start exploring the atmosphere and themes and elements of individual songs first so we can make more general conclusions from that! So yes, I think it's time to dive in!

1) Dick Around ▪︎

Shortly put, amazing, showstopping and life changing song. And one of the earliest ones for me too! As a part of the extremely important and memorable playlist (note: my first time hearing a bunch of random popular sparks songs), it appeared somewhere in the latter half on the mix and oooh boy, was hearing this song for the first time, on the road in the dark evening too, an experience. I certainly found it intriguing to say the least, maybe I wasn't yet completely SOLD you know, and let's not forget that the second time I heard it (july) it actually kind of freaked me out in a way, but still, it certainly made an impression immediately. There's a reason this is one of the more well known / popular / important songs of theirs overall. This song is truly a journey and it messes with you in so many ways, oooohhh so many ways. I was super looking forward to hearing it again properly after being teased with some parts of it in the more recent weeks, so ok, maybe this is where I get to the individual parts I want to talk about.

Actually wait, first let's maybe say something about the placement. Of course it's the first song as I was pretty much certain it would be (and maybe already had kind of possibly spoiled..?), and it does work incredibly well as a mood-setter for the rest of the album, so it truly couldn't work any other way in my view. So yes, speaking of parts, there are so many different ones! Hearing this again was extra fun also because I would remember the main "point" / mantra of the song ("all I do now... is dick around") but not much else, then be reminded of another notable but very different part, then listen after this whole time properly on pretty much repeat now and be aware of those other little touches and bits that bring it all together...

So, let's start with the pleasant vocals & piano break near the beginning, it's, well... I just really like it (I hope I'll be able to say more specific things about other elements in these songs that I think need to be mentioned as I go on LOL), and right after that we have some very nice strings, then, suspenseful strings!! Idk why but I really really like it when those come in, they really set the unnerving classical tone that follows and returns throughout the album, then the same "calm" / bouncy vocal melody and a more "all over the place" piano returns (at least from what I remember, the notes are sort of more expansive in range in this part I think...). And soon enough... we reach the real moment of the song when it gets, well, real. And very intense. And this is almost jumpscare-like, ohhhh it's so good, even when you know you can expect it it still hits the spot amazingly.

So this is the rocking part that's honestly pure distilled joy and amazement to hear for me each time, the repeated echoey "hey hey"s for a second there are just the icing on the cake, so so so good. And, in fact, it doesn't get more rocking than this for the rest of the album. Dissappointing? Maybe it WOULD be, if there weren't other things still going on later, which were also in their own ways showstopping, so I think that yeah, those can make up for all that follows not really coming close to this level of unhinged. And this is the right word here I think, unhinged!! Damn, this freaking song. Like for a second there I remembered that in one of my early-ish hearings I just found it almost uhhh, unbearably raw? Idk if it's the right word but yeah, it gets... ugly for a second (I need to stop cringing at every more unusual / to the point word I use or I won't be able to write any genuine reviews in my life). Before going back to the main mantra of course! And then it goes on in a circle a bit more again, with more changes and some progression of the story and all that. And end on the mantra again. I don't know if I'm leaving out any super important bits here, I might be... Well, it comes back to full on rocking near the end too, with some variation too, so that's awesome! And very suspenseful and unnerving strings too for a moment!

So, should I talk about the lyrics / the story just a bit now? Ok, I won't go super deep into these or any of the following ones, I'll try to focus more on specific bits and the feelings that come with them and a general "theme" if anything. So, I think this song and its story is very engaging and I like it a lot and it certainly provokes further thoughts and ponderings, those 6 and a half minutes fly by super fast (guess that's just the power with sparks and their long songs, it's kind of incredible how maybe this goes ESPECIALLY for songs that rely a LOT on repetition, because those might work this trend the best), lots of variation, while still keeping some prominently repetitive / reoccurring parts balances it very well. You're really just thrown from one part to the next with this song. Ok, I wrote a lot about just one song and I feel like there's still more I could say if I thought about it hard, but let's move on now, we don't have all day (night)...

2) Perfume ▪︎

This is a favourite. An instant favourite. Right away this song grabbed me with its subdued, brooding and honestly pretty dark tone and sound. Low vocals, kind of ragged but driving guitar sound, and the DRUMS. They do SO much for this track, something about this specific drum pattern / style is very pleasant to me, very atmospheric. It's like a specific pattern that works to deliver some kind of effect (ok, I think through that, in a way, I just described the whole thing with repetition in sparks' music, especially in this era, nice, I guess that's how I view it and why it works so well) there's still a lot of interesting stuff going on there, plus it just sounds nice, idk. Once again, maybe "driving" is a good word for it. But now I need to mention that there is this one odd-one-out part that sounds much more cheerful, or maybe hopeful (and it returns again near the end). Because it has this specific thing, the different intonation of the SAME lyrics than the rest of the song ("and that's why...") feels strangely emotional. It certainly hit ME in the feels once I noticed it, so, yeah!!

So I think this is one of the darkest songs in mood and sound, while it also has something extremely COOL about its sound that I can't really categorize, I think I'm gonna feel like repeating this for every other song on the album but it just feels so CLASSIC, it's that typical song that always existed type of feel, yeah. But here it's less so due the melody necessarily, and more due to the whole picture. With some others it's also the song as a whole of course but they don't necessarily feel as much as a representation of a whole THING / genre / type of song / feeling in music of sorts (I'm really bad at articulating my exact views on these, am I not...) rather than those specific special moments that just bring it all to the next level. But OHHH I can't believe I almost forgot this, but the piano lines (I mean the post-chorus ones specifically) in this song, oh my goddddd!!!!!!! They're truly THE thing that sold me on this song completely, they're just so... something. So I guess this song also has that special "it" moment after all, doesn't it? Well, still possibly not quite as prominently as the next one, because...

3) The Very Next Fight ▪︎

Well, this is the kind of song that's completely made up of those specific parts making a very special whole. Starting with, of course, that melody line during the chorus "it's always the same. It's always the same". But maybe, just to be fair, I should actually start with where the song actually starts so, well, hmmm, the beginning. The very solemn piano and overall kind of heavy atmopshere here kind of slows down the momentum after the first two songs, and it delivers something quite different instead. So yeah, well, that chorus melody!! Oh wow!!! Isn't it so simple though? But it works so well!! It's simply beautiful honestly. It absolutely is! And later the electric guitar comes in for more effect and oh wow, it feels so incredible, yeah. And then some more solemnity with the... I think harpsichord?

This track feels very empty (as in the atmosphere, I'm not actually calling it empty as a bad thing or something like that, no no no!!) in some parts, then it has those emotionally charged bits, and let's not forget that it has some more really amazing guitarwork near the end. That kind of guitar "wailing" sounds beautiful in its own right too, it also kind of reminds me of some other rock-adjacent genre(s), I can't tell what exactly though...

4) (Baby, Baby) Can I Invade Your Country ▪︎

In all honesty, after my first listen I decided that this was probably the song I was the least impressed by? Kinda strange, yeah, because I no longer think that, and yeah, it was another one that I was only slightly familiar with already. Very slightly. It's a very interesting song once again, I think it's really unique after some thought actually (as are most all of the songs on this record tbh, obviously). It's unique, but it once again has this special classic quality to it that just feels like it represents a very specific type of sound.

I wanna say that the chord progression in the chorus might be some variation of one of the "usual" progressions although OF COURSE I might be very wrong here, it's just the feeling I get because maybe it's worth mentioning that 1) a while ago I started noticing this one type of progression in songs that made them sound very similar to Kiss Me, Son of God (They Might Be Giants song), so I figured it must mean that KMSOG is just in some kind of typical progression that is used a lot, especially in country-sounding songs from my experience 2) there was also an element of some classic rock / rock&roll (?) / punk (??) songs that also made them sound very alike after a while when I started listening to this one internet radio station recently, idk if it's the same progression or its variation or if all those songs use different variations mostly but are still based on a very similar thing at the end of the day, but yeah. I might still not understand chords or be able to catch them while listening, but there's now at least a little part of that whole section of music theory that I might be able to recognise in music just by myself, so that's some major music literacy development on my part I think... Anyway, maybe the progression in this song didn't even remind me of that usual pattern specifically, but it just made me think of that thing nevertheless, maybe it's similar, maybe it's not... So this was kind of an irrelevant tangent on my part, oops.

So ok, let's get to the jist of this... What exactly I like about this song and such, or just what I wanna mention. Well, I wanna mention that this is probably one of the more repetitive songs, also one of the longest I think, maybe the third longest, I wouldn't be surprised by that (the opener and closer are both pretty tough competition in the length department) but it doesn't feel monotonous, it flies by super fast, once again.

I think it's also possibly the brightest sounding song on the record, the word that immediately sprung to mind here is "triumphant". Certainly fitting with all those awesome horns!! They're truly what really sets this song apart. I'm especially a fan of the horns in the bridge part, I think it's the bridge. Sooo so cool sounding, kind of "descending". I also really like the layering of the different vocals and their melodies and such, the acoustic guitar also brings it all soooo nicely together, it's so pleasant sounding, especially in the quieter "baby, let's invade" part.

Idk what else to say, very awesome song though and I definitely don't mind listening to it twice (with the repeat as a bonus track, which I'll also get to briefly at the end) at all, in fact this might be the least "intrusive" song in a sense, so that makes the best choice for a repeat, if I had to choose, I could see myself going with this one, it's just very pleasant all around.

5) Rock, Rock, Rock ▪︎

So things get real once again, huh. This is one of the songs that I count in the category of kind of sick and twisted but in a way where I only respect them more for making it, so that puts it right next to, hmmmm, sherlock holmes for sure, maybe some others I can't think of right now. Big part of that factor is surely played by the repetition which just works, well, very well. Specifically the choruses.

One part of this song I was pleasantly reminded of on my first few listens were the short strings interludes, they really give it some of that pleasant classical feel (a separate thing from what i describe as classic feel here!) that I could say kind of contrast with the song and its atmosphere in general. Or maybe spruce it up, idk, we do have very dramatic strings during the verses too... The very deep drum sound is also pretty prominent in this track I think, pretty great.

As to some more notable parts in the vocals department... Let's just say that the way Russell says some words is very, uhhhhhh, effective (i think this sounds more cursed than it should, but i mean exactly that, the delivery just really hits you... and other times it's kind of silly instead). And also, with that repetition and it creating something great in mind, there's the repeated "and since you put-" part near the end that's also really great. The repeated "I"s in the bridge I think also need a mention. It's like they know exactly what word / phrase to repeat, what amount of times, and in which part of the song for it to work the best, like the perfect placement and number.

I think this song also has a bit of a fake ending, so that's also something of note, especially when it's supposed to sound as dramatic as possible (at least that's the idea I get from it). And actually, oh, so does the previous song! I forgot that part even though it's even more noticeable / memorable in that song than it is here imo.

6) Metaphor •

Second half of the album starts off with something that's very elegant and all the while very pleasant and melodic, all of which makes it a very nice track, even in a more usual pop song sense. Some very cool piano to start things off, and the electric guitar accompaniment, which also enters pretty early on. And then we have that slightly more strange part, kind of like an early bridge, that honestly has a bit of a comical effect imo (with no disrespect intended!!)? As in, I find it kind of funny and silly personally. Yeah, the "who's up for a metaphor" part, especially when we get the repeated "don't don't"s and "we we"s, and, well, what follows is what's definitely the greatest part(s) of the song, when Russell enters his falsetto mode and we get the "aaaaa-ªªªªª..." etc. backup vocals in choruses. Those are the moments of the song that are just, well, ONCE again that classic factor that makes the melody & everything else super special. But more specifically, I think those parts are just kind of beautiful. Yeah, I'd say this song is the prettiest in sound that this album gets overall. Truly wonderful and gets you excited for the remaining songs.

Meanwhile, the spellings of dig as d-i-g might feel kind of random I guess? But it works. Adds variety or whatever (note: it's also a very good moment of a rhythm change I believe, I think now that's what makes it sound as cool and satisfying as it does). So yeah, kind of a heavenly song I think, in a sense, also one of my top faves just for that factor (note: this song is now probably my favourite on HYL, and also among my top fav Sparks songs overall. It wasn't instant, but it grew on me quickly and oh man, I truly love this song so much now)

7) Waterproof •

I think this is kind of an odd-one-out actually? And why? I think it's probably the closest on the album to being sort of a fully, or at least MOSTLY, "normal" song. It doesn't have so many parts that are just downright weird and unexpected I'd say, it's just kind of friendly instead compared to the other ones (note: it took me perhaps too long to realize that this song just doesn't have quite as much repetition, which most other songs here rely on heavily, so that's definitely what makes it stand out the most). Not that it's an entirely bad thing! Sometimes you gotta slow down and relax a bit I guess...

I do appreciate the kind of sudden switch with the "the sky is starting to cloud up" part, and the little orchestral bit right after the first time the aforementioned switch happens (the second? or generally some later time it happens again there are also some very awesome horns! Really starts feeling like a quaint rainy street in some french town or something...) when, well, I was going to say that the vocals and the strings do the same melody, but they actually don't, at least not fully, still though, I did have that illusion before I made sure it wasn't the case with another relisten, either way, when it DOES happen, and Sparks do that a whole lot I feel like, it's always quite awesome, I mean, syncing the vocal melody with some other prominent intrument's melody...

The I think harpsichord also makes a return, yay! And then there's the guitar part, that does have some real surprise factor when it comes in, but this time for sort of the opposite reason - it sounds bright and nice this time around, and also it reminds me of Sparks' later style tbh, specifically in their following more rock-centric songs of course. And I think that's very nice, we see the always progressing evolution of their sound here I think. That guitar bit also has some album closer vibes, that kind of fake closer (or nearly-closer) situation kind of reminds me of a similar thing I experienced with Bon Voyage on Propaganda for example (note: I have since learned that Bon Voyage IS the closer on Propaganda, and the following two songs on streaming are just b-sides. So it makes sense that it would sound like an album closer because it IS one).

Annnddd the last thing that I just can't forget about here is Russell's another epic falsetto moment (waterwatereverywherebutnotadroponme!~) that part actually makes me smile. Yeah. Legit. I paid attention and I did smile on that part during my relisten today. ... Ok, let's go on.

8) Here Kitty •

When this song came on the first time during my vinyl listening I of course instantly knew exactly which song it was (bcs I've heard the title before, and a few words on it too) and had this little amused "oh no" moment. And, well, turns out this song is actually very awesome and veeeery interesting! It adds something really unique to the album. I saw someone call it quite impressive in the vocals / vocal lines layering department recently (in the last week, so already after hearing it myself I'm pretty sure) and I absolutely agree.

First off, let's settle that - this is a very strange song. But that's exactly what makes it so good of course. The strangeness keeps you so distracted from this fact, that when we reach the bridge of the song you suddenly realize that beneath all the "tatata"s, meows and unsettling rising piano notes we have the very much usual song structure with verses and choruses. Yeah, I think I actually sort of figured it out, what might be the verse, and what might be the chorus... Speaking of which, the parts that I identified as choruses have this, well, it's the same thing all over again (but each time the specialness comes from a different place and is totally different of course), but that very classic feel, indicative of maybe even some specific genre but idk what exactly...

Besides that, well, maybe let's go back to my oh no moment for a minute, and let me say that I either am very illiterate in that sense (and yeah I am tbh) or the lyrics aren't as overtly, let's say, innuendo-filled? as I expected. They actually have a semblance of a story you know... I mean, NO, not even a semblance, it IS a story! Let me also say that this is a very interesting song to have stuck in your head a lot over the course of pretty much an entire week. Yes, it got to the point where it could be annoying. One last bit of the song I really like is at the very end, when one vocal line starts to sound kind of echoey / distant, nice touch.

9) There's No Such Thing as Aliens •

The song that first cemented itself as being by far the shortest song on the album, sort of an interlude before the incoming epicness of the last one (that was quite literally my very first impression before I even heard either, looking at the vinyl this one was visibly much shorter than the last, and of course I expected the last one to be fittingly grand, and so it was obviously, but we'll get to that in a minute). The funny thing is, it's not even that short, as I figured even before eventually making sure how long it was in fact, and that's almost 3 minutes, which, well, of course that's still something around well over two times shorter than the last song.

But enough about its length, this song actually does kind of work as an interlude thematically too, which it is? it sort of even feels like it doesn't quite fit with the themes of the other ones, I mean, maybe not that it doesn't fit but just that it's defintely the furthest removed from the much more similar topics of the other ones (more about that also later!). Plus it's pretty sparse lyrically, once again, there's less you can fit in under 3 minutes anyway. Which supports the interlude argument also I believe.

Anyway, the music. First of all, waltz time!! Always a treat in sparksland to have that rare spooky 3/4 time track. The feeling I get from this track is: grand, very orchestral, anddd, hmmmm, elegant. But is it more elegant than the rest of the album... Idk, I wanted to use 3 different descriptors. I honestly don't think there's much more to say about this one, it's great, the melody is really great, the grandiosity of the choruses, the even more notable waltz time during verses. I think that yeah, I could pick this track as the most orchestral / classical inspired of the album. One cool moment I'll mention though would be the very ending, with the repeated "no"s going for longer than you'd expect them to maybe, and the deep drum accompanying all that. Very grand ending.

10) As I Sit Down to Play the Organ at the Notre Dame Cathedral •

Well, how do I even start on this one. I think I can say that with literally each single listen I become more and more in awe of this song. Could I even call it even more of a journey than the opener? In a sense, yeah. There's so much going on here. So much that I almost feel like breaking it down into individual parts and giving all of them their due because they all work for the amazingness of the whole. In fact, I might even already have this track roughly memorized (all... 7 minutes of this track) so it could be done. But ok, I'll just go with each part as I remember it, we'll see if I in fact do go over nearly all or all of them.

So. Echoey synth (?) intro, then the first melody part, with the individual words repeated, kind of "urgent" vocals part, very nice rhythm and something I just find very cool. As it progresses we get another part of just the synth / electric guitar-like synth / guitar or whatever this thing is, then a mix of both + this clicky instrument and / OR is it the harpsichord again? Giving it all more urgency and a nice constant rhythm. I also really like when the "byebyebye" vocal gets looped before the synth reenters. Overall, this part of the song has a very electronic, drony feel that I greatly enjoy and find very atmospheric and immersive already.

But, well, it doesn't end here. Because later, everything else stops and we hear a church organ. Even the melody it enters with is very much like something you'd hear in a cathedral, indeed! Good environmental storytelling, isn't it? But then... the organ transitions into this very very cool frantic melody (and by very very cool I mean that it's probably the #1 thing that stood out to me about this song right from the start) which returns consistently throughout the song and is just oh so very awesome.

So we enter the next part, what could probably be called the central part "as I sit down to play the organ...", tension is rising, the organ is doing its thing in the back, then some "hallelujah"s and BOOM! The chorus? The "I've got faith" part of course. And with it some epic strings, and I don't think I can really say what exactly it is about this part that makes it SO FREAKING GOOD & ABSOLUTELY SHOWSTOPPING but it's easily in my top 3 moments on the album at least. Then it's followed by the slightly considerably calmer "she's here..." section and we go mostly full circle for now, more variations on the same parts. Some grandiose "lalala"s & epic drum action too. And then, the "I believe" sections which I cannot let myself neglect, mostly just on the basis of them being kind of sickening to me. You know, in the "why did they do this (said respectfully)" way.

Ok, did I really just talk about all of the individual parts, I guess so. But before I move on I have to mention the moment when the very first major part, the "bye-bye-bye my baby" part, makes a sudden comeback. It's honestly just so good and satisfying, when completely different sections switch and make unexpected (or maybe you actually DO expect them on some subconscious level, and that's what makes them work so well??) returns like this, if a song has that it's very likely it will become a top top favourite or at least have a very big effect on me. Or even HUGE effect, like here.

So yeah, the song does eventually end (I mean technically unbelievable somewhat, since it's so long, but have I actually mentioned yet that this track goes by about just as fast as the first one, because it sure does, you do not notice the time passing WHATSOEVER) on some more "hallelujah"s. And the album's over. Wooo boy.

Bonus tracks

Well, it's not really over yet if it's not the vinyl but the streaming version. We still have just two more bonus tracks, technically just one? So I'll go over both quickly now for completion's sake.

First we have "We Are the Clash" which is a pleasant song for sure, can work as kind of a denouement after the crazy journey of the previous track, so you're left on a little less of a mood unresolution and can become a little less unsettled after all of this going down... Idk.

But yeah, I actually have this impression veering on pretty strong conviction that this song is a cover actually. It could even be a cover of the band whose name is mentioned in the song, which would put this version in a extremely funny area of how far stylistically it might be from the hypothetical original, if it exists (what's up with all these bands and their "we are the [band name]" songs, there's so many). Of course I could also be very wrong about this so all I just wrote could turn out to be absolutely hilariously off target, still, a fun little attempt at guessing things and connecting ideas on my part, whatever the truth turns out to be (I will learn the truth... in due time. My experience tells me that when I'm still fully in initial unwell mode over an album it's difficult for me to read and retain any outside information / commentary on it. So no need to rush it, heh) (note: yeah I was right for once. I meannnn I guess it was obvious anyway but still, let me have this, I've been fooled by assuming that a cover was someone's original song way too many times so I'm happy to not be fooled for once).

So ok, the last last track. Baby baby can i invade your country is baaaaaack, not much to say but it's pretty much the same other than the lyrics, since well, it is the "alternate lyrics" version, not "alternate" version. I do think that it might be slightly longer than the final version though but it's also likely I'm misremembering.

Anyway, lyrics, all I can or feel the need to say is that they seem to be definitely way more to the point on what this song's actual topic is (not... invading... countries . I don't need to explain it here do I) so subtlety win for the final one I guess. Just so it is known, I have not read these two songs' lyrics unlike all the main album tracks'. But I think I caught enough to get the main idea from both, you know. I do think also that the final version's lyrics just kind of sound better, idk if it's the rhythm of the words or what but they do just have a nicer flow. So, improvement, probably, still very nice to know this version anyway of course. (note: yeah i have learned since that most of the final lyrics are the US national anthem. Makes sense that if any song were to have alternate lyrics it would be this one)

To round it all up...

I think there's still a lot that can be said about this album as a whole but how do I go about that. Well, I did mention earlier that I'd come back to a) the overall feel / atmosphere here b) the themes / stories and how they connect. So those shall work as a guide to my conclusions part of this whole review.

First off, I could even say a bit about the main vibe / sound here in reference to Lil' Beethoven! Since it really does work as a sequel, at least in sound, by all means. I described LB with stuff like... cold, distant, cathedral-like, what else was there.... Ok, I have more, lifted directly from my LB write-up. (note: finally listening to LB a month prior to this was enough of a big deal for me that I wrote down my live reactions to hearing the songs) Impersonal / detached. Alien. Spacious.

Do those apply here too? I think so, yeah! Pretty much all of these words also feel like pretty good descriptors here. But honestly, the more I think about it.... Maybe it's just that the distance / the detachedness and alienated feeling is a bit lower here? Or at least in some songs more than the others. It's hard to explain honestly.... That similar atmosphere continues here but it's just..... not as pronounced maybe. Idk, maybe it will become clearer with this next point I wanna make which is that LB actually is less, uhhh friendly in sound. Less accessible! Yeah, I do think that this album could be seen as: LB started the experiment, HYL perfected it by taking it in a slightly more accessible direction. Or is perfected a wrong word here, who can say which was, or should be considered the better outcome here.... I think I actually have a problem putting concepts into the right words today. But maybe at least some of my feelings about this can still come across here...

So yeah, I don't think it's possible to tell if HYL is better or LB, it also depends on how you look at it! As it kind of always does when judging stuff per good / better. One thing that I can say sort of for sure though is that LB certainly started ideas / techniques that HYL expanded on and toyed with further, so in that sense, it could be considered an improvement. And so it is clear, I don't think I can say 100% that I like one more than the other. It's not that simple. I guess you could however say that HYL was more of an instant hitter and LB really just grows and grows more in power overtime....

So yeah, they kind of did take the LB concept and all of the avant-garde, experimentation factors that come with it, and made it more accessible, which is a form of art and an achievement and a testament of skill in itself. I think the somewhat friendlier, more palatable approach of this album also lifts off the coldness aspect a bit, but it's still there, especially on tracks 1, 3, 5, 10, off the top of my head.....

But maybe I should talk more about the album and its sound as it stands on its own before I move on though. Maybe we could jump from the words I already used: classic, orchestral, brooding, dramatic, dark, aggressive (yes, I somehow see it as friendlier than its predecessor despite also being much more aggresive in all senses. Raw even. How does that work? I can't tell you today. And idk if I'll ever figure it out. And also personal, YES, that's the word, this album feels soooo very personal and emotive. Not in the sense that I'm trying to say that it must be personal to them, more like it just shows some very personal feelings and struggles), triumphant (but that goes only for that one song really), driving, ELEGANT. I think the word elegant is the key here. In all of its subtler or less subtle tone shifts it keeps that very elegant, kind of graceful feel, all throughout. Even when it seems to be touching subjects that wouldn't necessarily bring that kind of atmosphere to mind, it kind of elevates them and gives them, idk, a new meaning?

So is this a good segue into the topic of themes? I guess the album name sits well with what I think is going on here, because my main impression of the whole thing was something like.... stories of fucked-up guys with self-image problems / feelings of inadequacy, which they try to go around fully convinced that they're right (and their messy love-lives too ofc). Or are they just, normal, regular guys actually. Who can tell. It certainly gives you an idea / a whole concept to work with and ponder here and to connect and visualize kinda.

I think that yeah, out of what I've heard so far this has to be the most thematically-consistent sparks album there is. It comes to a point where all the songs give this little impression of a whole universe where all of this takes place, and while I've had these kind of impressions from albums that are way more all-over-the-place conceptually with their lyrics (I mean like.... pretty much every They Might Be Giants album. You can create this sort of illusion with more than words, the music and its atmosphere and often also its stylistic consistency might be even more important actually), this comes, in my mind, almost close to concept album levels in that regard.

The definition of a concept album probably calls for something more specific than all the tracks being in sort of a similar theme but you know.... I don't think it really happens most of the time in music in general, that the whole album has this sort of a familiar idea / spirit throughout that makes a unique whole. (note: apparently wikipedia calls this album a concept album. Another win for me in that case, lol). You could probably try to connect different songs' themes and work with that in some way.... Which is something I already did in all honesty, but actually it's a between albums thing here, because I do believe that the dick around guy could be the same guy that the narrator from ugly guys with beautiful girls talks about. Similar ideas you can connect! That's what I'm talking about. I love it when songs tell overarching stories.... Make me think about characters from songs or little universes and vibes created by even the vaguest of lyrics and the ideas those create and the imaginings they bring, any day.

Ok, what else can I say. I think I mostly covered everything I could actually. Should I say something more about the cover with the added context now. I already said that it gives off a "something's wrong" feeling, but I think it's also compelling in how it conveys that elegant, non-threatening and polished image, sterile kinda. Well, I think only one of those four words I just chose doesn't really apply to most of this album's songs. I mean non-threatening ofc. Hmmm, maybe sterile doesn't really work here either, besides those prominent examples of the coldness of sound on this album, it would actually go more with LB, which also has a fittingly minimalist, all-white cover. Collected and orderly to a distressing degree. Just like here, it also gives off some.... distressing vibe. As I already said with the "this isn't right" feel.

What else can I say. In reviews you usually give your opinions, which I very much did throughout this thing here, everything like this is always somewhat subjective I think, but even then, a final verdict could also be said here. I think it's pretty damn clear by now what my opinion on this album is. I wouldn't spend several days writing a review and analysing every little detail if I didn't have a very strong (positive) opinion on this album (I guess I technically can imagine writing a very throughout review of something that just annoys you so much that you simply have to go through everything wrong with it and have some relief and closure through that. I can't see myself doing that kinda thing however, I'm not that kind of hater (or really a hater at all lol, i hope), I'd rather devote my time to things that I find actually cool and awesome and stand-outs in a positive sense, and worthy of attention and that dedication).

So this comment I fittingly found on tumblr over the last few days feels pretty relevant towards my opinion of writing "reviews" of stuff (this was more of a, very detailed analysis I know, but review just kind of fits, especially with how people call their recaps / commentary / writeups of concerts "reviews" a lot of the time):

(note: yeah I think I should come clean here that despite my very recent start of actual social media participation I've already been a serial lurker in various places for years now, lol, I mean, that's probably a normal thing to do though, I hope. I mean, probably lots of people do or did that at some point, but still. And I don't know whose post this is anymore sadly. But I thought I'd keep it here because it's a good summary)

And also, just for the record, this is my opinion on HYL pretty much. Yaaaayyy i loved it i had so much fun!! For real. i'm glad they're creating something!!!! Absolutely. One of a kind album that I will cherish as yet another great and unforgettable entry on the list of albums that changed me (TM) and brought me lots of fun and great memories / associations, even in such a short time. And the actual FIRST on the new list of albums that I'm happy to have brough the utmost attention to and dissected like that. It's out of love.

Thank you for reading this far! Here's a little bunny as a prize!

Whoa whoops this gif was supposed to be small! Have a huge bunny in that case, you deserve it! 🐇

[slumbergoblin]

Copying and pasting a thing I wrote in notepad: Ages: Shortly before Betrayus's disappearance/Present day in story (year born in our years) (heights)

*= OC

Kids Pac: was 3, is currently 14 (2008) (160cm, 5'3") Cylindria: was 4, is currently 15 (2007) (165cm, 5'5") Spiral: was 6, is currently 17 (2005) (180cm, 5'11") Skeebo: was 5, is currently 16 (2006) (173cm, 5'8") Elliptica: was 5, is currently 16 (2006) (175cm, 5'9")

Adults Betrayus: was 39, is currently 50 (1972) (187cm, 6'1") Stratos: was 43, is currently 54 (1968) (218cm, 7'2") *Oscar: was 41, is currently 52 (1970) (167cm, 5'6") *Mei: was 41, is currently 52 (1970) (154cm, 5'1") Zac: was 33, is currently 44 (1978) (175cm, 5'7") Sunny: was 33, is currently 44 (1978) (165cm, 5'4") Spheria: was 48, is currently 59 (1963) (184cm, 6'0") Sir C.: was 59, is currently 70 (1952) (162cm, 5'3")

(adults years apart) Betrayus and Stratos are 4 years apart Oscar and Mei are a couple of months apart Betrayus, Mei, and Oscar are 2 years apart Stratos, Mei, and Oscar are 2 years apart Zac and Sunny are a couple of months apart Betrayus, Zac, and Sunny are 6 years apart Stratos, Zac, and Sunny are 10 years apart Oscar, Mei, Zac, and Sunny are 8 years apart Zac, Sunny, and Spheria are 15 years apart Spheria and Sir C. are 11 years apart Spheria and Stratos are 5 years apart Spheria and Betrayus are 9 years apart Stratos and Sir C. are 16 years apart

[royalarchivist]

Pac: I'm not going to say anything to you guys [Chat], I'm not going to say anything to you. I'm not saying absolutely anything, I'm not going to comment. Man, you broke me here, you broke me in 3 parts! I'm not going to- no no no no no, I won't fall for your game, I won't fall for your game.*

Pac's chat allows viewers to make music requests, which led to this very well-timed moment today where Careless Whisper started playing as soon as Pac met back up with Fit.

* [Approximate translation. I'm not a native Portuguese speaker, so as always, please feel free to let me know if there's a better way to translate things!]

[after-nine-at-the-oasis]

AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH THEY'RE DANCINGGGG :'DDDD

STOPPPP THEY'RE SO SWEEEET 😭😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️

Everyone looks so sweet and happy :')))

Awww hi Judd <33

It's okay honey, it's rough :'((

Yeahh honey I know, that's rough 😭😭❤️🥺

Exactly, you don't know anything yet <3

Grace is so perfect, and great at getting him back in it and keeping him grounded <33 I love her and him and them so much <3333

Yeah lol, calm down a bit on the towel business Judd xD

Just dance :'))

His suit is still very iconic btw

And Grace's hair is beautiful 🥰

Awww hey y'all :D

Lol, sillies 🥰🥰

Nope he means wedding :OO

OOP DANG O.O

YEP LOL

The way he said it was very blunt xD like the tone

Awww spin :'))

Oop?

LOL

Do it guys lol, go for it xD!

(tossing a bouquet)

Awww Owen :'(( :')

Ahhh, looking at TK and Carlos but then to Robert and his wife as well, and their daughters :'))

Awww <3

Lol :')

Earlier I saw her and was like huh xD oh right they're kinda dating lol

Aww glad she's checking up on him ,|

LOL YMCA XDDD

Realll though my at dances xD

Gotta save it for the line dances, and take breaks during the slow dances lol

Oh of course, no other way to do it xD well there is but yk lol

Like landing a plane XDDD

Yeah, they are :'))

Oop o.o

Ohh nooo :'((( ❤️❤️❤️💔😭

It sucks but I do see why :(( 😭 <33

Awww <333

It is a pretty great memory though :'))

AYYY yeah this is a good song for dances :D

I wanna go to a wedding 😌

They seem so fun lol

AWWWW look at them all :'D

LOL Iris and TK :')) twirling around <333 they're gonna be such good besties

That guy int he white suit is eating it up xD

Awww Carlos and Andrea 🥰🥰❤️❤️😭 :')))

Awwww 😭❤️❤️❤️

Awww she's good :'))) that's good <3333 I'm so glad

AAAAHHHHHH yes literally 😭😭❤️🥰👏👏 the best night of his life :'))

Oop :o :D

LOL Paul yelling "TOMMYY" xD

TK joining Carlos 🥰

"By a certain paramedic *TK*" DANG girl did not even hesitate 💀 XDD

Lol his little throwing up of his hand xD :')

AWWW him cuddling Carlos's arm 😭 stoppp I'm not okay, they better be so clingy during and after this (the wedding) x'D

AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH AWWW W H A T 😭😭😭😭😭😭💔🥺🥺🥺🥺❤️❤️❤️❤️

Awwww everyone's faces :'(( :') 😭😭😭😭😭😭🥺🥺🥺💔❤️

"This is from your husband" AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH :'DDDD 😭😭😭😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️🥰🥰🥰🥺🥺🥺

GUYS THEY'RE ACTUALLY MARRIED :')))

:OOOO B E I N G A L I V E????!!?!?

. . . this song was on glee-

XDD that's just a thing I say lol

But I also distinctly remember thinking that, if not in the humourous way I tend to say it, when I first saw this lol

Anyway, back to pretending I haven't seen it xD

Awww TK already looking so emotional 😭

GOSH this song is so perfect for them <333

And they DESERVED such a dramatic and beautiful song honestly <3333

Tarlos, but everyone and the whole show, really <333.

:'OO! Tommy's voice is BEAUTIFUL by the way <333

Eat that UPPP girl :'))

:'o Awww taking them to the airport :')) :'(

That pervasive sadness in Owen :'(( it's rough <3

That kiss, and the hug with his girls, is emotional and they don't even know why 😭😭💔❤️🥺 <333

This is gonna hurt them, even if he believes he's sparing them from whatever xd it will be a different kind

Awww look at them all :')))

Nancy and Mateo <3333 so cute

Awww Paul and Asha :'DDD they're so beautiful <333

Also Carlos's sisters and their husbands (who don't get seats or faces lol /lh), it must be so sweet for them to see :')) like Carlos getting married I mean

AAHHHH my boysss 😭😭 <333

Clinging to each other :')) 😭🥺❤️

AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH THEIR HONEYMOONNNN :'DDDD

THEY'RE ON THEIR HONEYMOON Y'ALL 😭😭😭😭🥺🥺❤️❤️🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰!!!! FINALLYYYY!!!

YOU DON'T EVEN UNDERSTAND :'DDDD 😭😭😭😭❤️🥰🥰🥰🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥰🥰!!! THEY FINALLY MADE IT X'D :'DDD!!! WHOOOO YEAHH YAYY :'DD :'))

They're so cute 😭😭😭❤️ <333

I love them so much 🥰

Happy for them :'))

AWWW putting Charlie next to Wyatt :'))

Lol and they both have their blocks <33

Ahh but see the TV as a compromise :'))

Maybe not on purpose meaning that but TK me <33

Robert's family <333

And tarlos still clinging to each other :'))

And Marjan and her man (Yusuf is it? I believe :'D) :')) <333 adorableee

And Owen :')) ❤️

Tommy is EATINGGG this by the way ❤️😭😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️🥺💔🥰

Such a good song <33

It would be Gwyn's favorite :')) she has good taste <33

AWWW them 😭😭🥺💔

Gosh :'((( :')

Yeah, at least they got to know each other a bit <3333

It is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all <3

Yeah, definitely not ready xdd

"Big brother" :'(( no one should have to bury their younger sibling

It just sucks :'(( D':

AWWW themmm :')) 🥺

Holding Andrea's hand 😭😭😭🥺❤️💔

And TK and Carlos are in it together <333 even if Carlos is the one holding her hand :') they both mean it <3

Awwww Tommy looking at Trevor :'D

Tommy's so beautiful :'))

It's rough but I'm so glad they're all happy <333

As happy as they can be in this life :')))

AWW AAHH AYYYY Wyatt stacking blocks :'DDD good for him <333

It also probably helps that they have a little more of a purpose, being with Charlie :'))

Awww they look so happy 🥰🥰 they are :'D I'm so happy for him and them <333

Oh no 😭😭💔 :'((

Gosh <333

Goodbye, Robert :'((

TK'S TEARS 😭😭🥺❤️❤️❤️

Owen taking the mask off 😭😭 :'(

Tommy you absolutely ate that up :'))) she did such an amazing job <333

Especially as TK's second mother 😭😭😭😭🥺🥺❤️❤️❤️❤️🥰

Awww :'))

Thank you Tommy <33

Oof :(

That's just so rough

I'm so sorry Owen <333

And for his family :'(((

Goodbye, Robert ❤️

The sun coming up :'((

And the silence 😭😭😭

Gosh that's awful

So poignant

OUAGH AND ENDING WITH CALLING 9-1-1

GOSH THAT WAS PERFECT 😭😭😭😭😭🥺🥺🥺💔💔💔❤️❤️🥰

Such an amazing end to the season <333

Typed series for a second there lol

But because I was thinking, even though I would want so much more and I'm glad we get at least a bit more, this would be a really amazing ending to the series <333

It's just dramatic and beautiful and emotional enough that it'll be hard to top, and is an iconic moment of the series :') xD

But I'm sure they will <3

Wow. I'm so glad I did this.

It's such an amazing and beautiful episode <333

I'm so glad they're married :'))

And I'm so glad that, in the end, everyone ended up kind of okay :'))

Not perfect, not really even okay, but happy in this crazy world we and they live in

And that's enough :'))

I'm so happy for them <33

And I'm so especially happy for TK and Carlos :'DDD 🥰🥰🥰🥰❤️

HAPPY 0TH/1ST ANNIVERSARY BOYS 🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥰🥰🥰❤️❤️❤️ :'DDD X'D

Gosh I love them so much :')))

They finally did it <33 they made it :')

All roads lead to the wedding

And they did :')

Hallelujah <3 xD

Thank goodness lol

Gosh

Wow. Amazing

I love this show so much <333.

[ends-of-the-wayward-storm]

A wild sneak peek appears!

TWST has me in its grip again, so I've been thinking about another character of mine who I've had for roughly as long as I've had Mia. Her name is Azura and she's an avian fae, something that I've generally made up and have decided to make use of for TWST.✨✨

I've written a lot of things for her, so I've really been thinking about posting some of those here. This little snippet is from one of my earlier fics that's around a couple years old (give or take) that I never really got around to finish polishing.

So, for context, this takes place after the original Fairy Gala, which is where Azura as well as her friends make their "debut," so to speak. I hope you enjoy, and feel free to ask any questions you may have about them!😊 (Also, please note that this will likely be different from the finalized version of my fic.)

~ ~ ~ ~

It had been a few days since the mutant mandragora incident at the Botanical Garden, and it was still all anyone could talk about. That, and the faes that had been fighting them—including the one that had injured her wing. What more, there was a rumor that those faes had returned to the school. And so, Malleus wondered if she was the injured one or one of her companions. He knew avian fae were native to his homeland, so he had every right to be concerned. And pondering. And pondering some more.

He had asked students about it, but most of those who didn’t run away only mentioned blue wings. He couldn’t be sure that it was her solely based off of that. So he had continued to ask around until he finally had something of use. Despite the student’s stammering, he was told the fae that was injured wielded some form of sword. He remembered seeing one at her hips, but he still harbored doubts—so much so, it became difficult to focus on his studies.

“You’re distracted again.”

“Hmm?” Malleus glanced at Lilia looking at him with his hands on his hips. “I’m not distracted.”

“Thinking about the injured avian fae again?”

“. . . No.”

“You hesitated.” Lilia sighed. “You really should focus on studying. You have two tests coming up that are very important.”

“I’m aware. But as future king of the Valley of Thorns, I have a responsibility to look after my people. Especially if it truly is her that is injured.”

[tommybowefuneralattendee]

can you tease anything about your spommy wip 👀👀

[zevrans-archive]

.

[pierogipete]

struggling with some writers block so i wrote 3k words of kimporsche smut i think i'll upload as a one shot lmao

[mushroompollution]

I WASN'T READY FOR THAT TO FUCKING POST OKAY

[cripplecryptid]

I just realised i forgot my fucking earplugs 😭😭😭😭 a cold chill just went up my spine 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

[iraprince]

gonna show u guys a little opalescent highlight hack i threw together today

rainbow gradient above your main figure (i usually have all my main figure folders/layers in one big folder, so i can clip gradient maps + adjustments to it!). liquify tool to push the colors around a bit. STAY WITH ME I KNOW IT LOOKS STUPID RN I'M GOING SOMEWHERE WITH THIS

THEN: set it to add/glow (or the equivalent in ur drawing program), lower the opacity a bit, and apply a layer mask. then u can edit the mask with whatever tools you like to create rainbow highlights!!

in this case i'm mostly using the lasso fill tool to chip out little facets, but i've also done some soft airbrushing to bring in larger rainbow swirls in some areas. it's pretty subtle here, but you can see it better when i remove the gradient map that's above everything, since below i'm working in greyscale:

more granular rambling beneath the cut!

u could also just do this with a brush that has color jitter, but what i like about using layer masks for highlight/shading layers is how simple and reversible it makes everything. i can use whatever brushes i want, and erasing/redoing things is super low stakes, which is great when i often approach this stuff with a super trial-and-error approach.

example: have u ever thrown a gradient w multiple colors over an entire piece, set it to multiply etc, and then tried to erase it away to carve out shadows/highlights? it's super frustrating, bc it looks really good, but if u erase something and then change ur mind later, u basically would have to like. recreate the gradient in the area u want to cover up again. that's how i used to do things before figuring out layer masks!! but masking basically creates a version of this with INFINITE undo bc u can erase/re-place the base layer whenever u want.

anyway, back to rambling about this specific method:

i actually have TWO of these layers on this piece (one with the liquified swirls shown above, and another that's just a normal concentric circle gradient with much broader stripes) so i can vary the highlights easily as needed.

since i've basically hidden the rainbow pattern from myself, the colors in each brushstroke i make will kind of be a surprise, which isn't always great -- but easily fixable! for example, if i carve out a highlight and it turns out the rainbow pattern in that area is way too stripey, i can just switch from editing the mask to editing the main layer and blur that spot a bit.

also, this isn't a full explanation of the overall transparency effect in these screencaps! there's other layer stuff happening below the rainbow highlights, but the short version is i have all this character's body parts in different folders, each with their own lineart and background fill, and then the fill opacity is lowered and there's multiply layers clipped to that -- blah blah it's a whole thing. maybe i'll have a whole rundown on this on patreon later. uhhh i think that's it tho! i hope u get something useful out of this extremely specific thing i did lmao

[parkers-gal]

take me home J.B.

pairing: husband!bucky barnes x f!reader

wc: 1.7k

trope: secret wife / secret relationship

warnings: not proof read. rip. i'll edit the mistakes tmr lol. this is another self indulgent piece bye

timeline: idk this is not a canon event but just imagine endgame never happened. i like to imagine him with the metal arm (not the vibranium one) but i think this can be seen with any

summary: the team discovers bucky's relationship with you when bucky searches for you in the hospital after hydra attacks new york

⋆˚✶˚‧⋆｡˚

“we just got the last of them on the east side. does anyone need backup?” natasha’s voice rings through the comms. tony’s response comes within a few seconds.

“air is neutral up here.”

“we’re just about wrapping up here,” steve adds on. “let’s reconvene on fifth and check in with emergency services.” he glances at bucky who stands on his left, stoically waiting for the next command. bucky nods at steve’s silent question, you ready?

they step over a pile of rubble. bucky reloads his gun, placing it back in its holster and starting a light jog as steve leads them away from the scene behind them. hydra had sent many reinforcements after the team had done a recon mission at an abandoned hydra base that was unknowingly more important to them than the avengers had initially realized. new york came to bear the consequences, just as the city always did. something about high populated cities… or whatever steve told the team as they were gearing up a few hours ago.

they turn the next few blocks and see sam land beside wanda and clint, his wings collapsing into his jet-backpack. tony joins them, already starting his updates.

“nypd called in the national guard to detain as many of the human reinforcements as they could,” he fiddles with some tech on his arm. “emt said graybar, seagram, and chanin had some pretty heavy bombings. victims are being relo-”

“chanin?” bucky cuts in. most of his teammates look at him with shocked faces. “did you say the chanin building?”

“yes, tinman.” tony retorts. “victims are being relocated to the closest hospitals in the area.”

“which ones?”

slightly annoyed, tony turns to look at him. “does it matter?”

bucky’s jaw clenches. “yes. it does.”

sam cuts in.“there’s five hospitals within a mile of here, there’s no way you’re going to know where one person went, bucky.”

“i don’t give a fuck.” he’s definitive and it shuts everyone up. “i want to know which hospitals.”

with a sigh, steve concedes and jogs over to the paramedic perched on the end of an ambulance, assisting a woman with a cut on her eyebrow.

bucky decides to make his way over too, only hearing the tail end of the conversation as steve says ‘thank you.’

“well?”

steve sighs again. “he said lagone is the closest, but frank ross hospital and tisch are taking in some too because the influx is so bad.”

bucky doesn’t even reply, jogging off in the direction of the first hospital and leaving steve in the middle of the road, stunned.

clint breaks the silence. “where is he going?”

“to the hospital, i guess?” steve sounds unsure in his response, still watching as bucky gets smaller and smaller as the distance between them increases. 

“maybe we should go with him.” wanda suggests. “we still need to debrief and do our write ups.”

natasha gives her a side eye and wanda laughs. 

“just following orders.” she exaggerates, teasing natasha and steve for their insistence on following the protocols. 

“alright let’s go, then.” tony thrusts upward, sam following him up as everyone else begins to jog in bucky’s direction.

but bucky is fast. they don’t realize how much until they almost lose him two blocks over. they trail behind him as he bursts through the emergency room, charging towards the front desk. 

“do you have a patient named y/n?” he begins to spell out your name letter by letter until the desk attendant interrupts.

“sir, i need you to step into the waiting room unless you need immediate medical care.” the room around them is a flurry of crying people, overwhelmed nurses, and helpless policeman who try to reorganize the growing number of patients. 

“no, i need you to check if you have a patient under the name of y/-”

the team stands by the entrance, watching the interaction unfold but not quite understanding it.

“who is he looking for?”

everyone turns to steve assuming he knows, but his face shows just as much confusion. “i don’t know.”

“please,” bucky starts again. “do you have a patient register for today’s patients?”

with a click of her tongue, she hands bucky a clipboard with several papers on it. bucky’s eyes scan the names, worry etched on his face when he doesn’t see yours. 

“sorry.” he mumbles, leaving the clipboard on the counter and turning around. he stops when he sees the team, but moves past them when he remembers what he’s doing.

anxiety is gnawing at him as he finds his motorcycle parked by the quinjet a few blocks away. he immediately drives off towards the next hospital, worried as ever that something has happened to you. you aren’t answering his calls, not texting him back, and he can’t find your location on the little app you taught him how to use. he doesn’t know what else to do. 

the team can barely keep up, trying their best to help the people around them as they trail after bucky. they still don’t know what he’s doing or who he’s looking for. 

by the third hospital, bucky is fed up and on the verge of a breakdown. he only has so much patience at this point, and sam is all too familiar with the signs.

“do you have a patient under the name y/n?” it’s the third time in the last hour he’s desperately asked a nurse at a front desk. he does the same thing, spelling out your name letter by letter until the nurse interrupts him. 

“you’ll have to wait to check the registry list after all the patients have been attended to.”

“how long is that going to take?” his voice is laced with attitude, and he almost feels bad if not for the pit of anxiety swelling in his stomach. 

“sir, you’re wasting my time.”

“bucky, c’mon, let’s go.” steve reaches to hold bucky’s shoulder, but he shrugs it off.

“no, goddammit!” he’s fuming, turning back to the nurse. “i need you to tell me if you have a patient, y/n barnes. i’m her next of kin.” he slams his fist on the counter. steve takes a step back towards sam, in shock at the information.

“does he have, like, a niece?” sam asks. “did he tell you anything about his sister? maybe she had a family after-”

“yes, i see her name listed here. only immediate family can see her.”

“i am immediate family!”

“sir, unless you are a parent or her husband, you need to wait until all th-”

“i am her husband!” he slams his ring down on the counter, gripping onto it like he depends on it, because he can’t risk losing you. “take me to see me wife right now.”

with a nod, she leads bucky down a hallway of rooms, turning left into the very first room. she makes her way back towards the front desk where steve has now approached.

“hi, ma’am. would you mind if-” steve gestures towards the room. the nurse’s jaw drops at seeing the vibranium shield, clint’s bow, and tony stark standing there with a partially deconstructed nano-tech suit. 

“go right ahead.” she stutters out, watching the avengers trail after the man with the metal arm. they stop in the doorway, huddled as they watch.

“y/n?” bucky steps towards the hospital bed.

you aren’t even laying in it. you’re sitting on the edge of it staring out a window, back facing the door. at the sound of his voice, you whip around. tear streaks stain your face.

“bucky, oh my god-” you run into his chest, engulfing him in a hug. he sighs into your hair, smelling you and breathing in relief at the sight.

“you’re okay, it’s okay.” he coos, rubbing your back. “what happened? are you hurt?”

you shake your head, still nuzzled into his chest. you peer up at him, “paramedics found me unconscious. it’s just a concussion, but they brought me in anyways. i just have a couple stitches.” you gesture to your calf. “rough fall after i got knocked out, i guess.”

he nods, pulling you in for a kiss. it’s desperate and full of love and every emotion he’d felt in the last two hours.

“i thought- i thou-”

“no.” you cut him off. “i tried to find a phone but nothing was going through. i saw the weird alien dogs coming from a giant truck, and- and the hydra symbol was plastered all along the sides i thought maybe they-” you can’t even finish your sentence, too overwhelmed at the possibility. 

“never.” he kisses your forehead, holding your face in both his hands. “they could never take me from you.”

you rest your forehead against his, inhaling the scent of your husband and gripping onto him because you never want to leave him again. 

“so..” tony cuts in. “wife?”

“tony!” natasha scolds. “get back here!”

clint tries his best not to laugh but he can barely hold it in.

sam is next to join in. “when did this happen?” he looks at steve with a quirked brow. “did you know?”

“i swear i didn’t.”

“a wife.” sam repeats. “you didn’t know your best friend has a wife.”

“he’s a trained spy!”

“and a former soviet asset.” clint confers. “you’d think you would keep more tabs on the guy.”

steve rolls his eyes, turning his attention back to bucky.

“is she really your wife?”

bucky nods reluctantly, a little sheepish as you hold up your left hand to show them your rings. 

“for four years now.”

“FOUR YEARS????” 

“sam-” 

“and you NEVER SAID ANYTHING?”

“guys” nat pays no mind to sam’s ramblings. “i think we can all agree how hard it is to live life as an avenger. it’s not like clint was exactly honest about his family, either.”

“i thought you were on my side!” he huffs.

“whatever.” sam pouts. “i wish i could’ve gone to the wedding.”

“we’ll cross that bridge when we get there.” bucky smiles appreciatively at steve, who starts moving back towards the exit. “maybe we can talk about this when everything settles down and she gets out of the hospital.” steve looks at you, really looks at you, for the first time. deep down, he’s glad his best friend found the one thing he’s wanted his whole life. “right bucky?”

bucky nods. 

“okay,” steve smiles understandingly. “debrief is tomorrow at noon. don’t be late.”

bucky turns back to you as the team leaves your hospital room. 

“i guess the secrets out.”

bucky nods in agreement. “i’m really glad you’re okay.”

you kiss him again, “take me home, bucky.”

⋆˚✶˚‧⋆｡˚

bucky masterlist

part two?