#i'll add to and edit these as and when i need to

[princetorn]

VERSES .

⋆ verse — to be a boy among the boys ( 1939 – 1954 )

canon . A childhood spent in the shadow of the Appalachian mountains – long summers, Little League, sweet tea, Sunday sermons – and a briefly awkward adolescence of braces and coltish limbs.  A child prodigy, they say.  He is a scab-kneed boy marked for sporting greatness.

⋆ verse — six cylinders underneath the hood ( 1955 – 1957 )

canon . Baseball was once his greatest love, but now he fixates on hot-rodding and his ‘Little Sweetheart’ – a Chevrolet Corvette that he spends his weekends diligently working on and his nights racing.  Royce has grown into himself.  He has motor oil under his nails, Brylcreem in his hair, and butane in his blood.

⋆ verse — all a ghost can do is haunt ( 1958 – )

canon .The end came sharp and sour, in a twist of shrieking metal and the lick of flames.  Murder, though he does not know it. Royce Clayton is dead, buried in a small plot overlooking the baseball field.  He has become a cautionary tale to the people in the town of Marshall, and his ghost is doomed to walk the earth.

⋆ verse — caged within jars like fireflies ( 1997 – 2001 )

Captured by wealthy explorer, collector and ghost hunter Cyrus Kriticos – with the aid of his psychic assistant Dennis Rafkin – Royce is transported to Pennsylvania and kept contained by Latin barrier spells.  He and eleven other spirits form the Black Zodiac, with Royce representing the Torn Prince.  Cyrus intends for the enslaved spirits to power the Basileus Machine, a contraption designed by a fifteenth century Italian astrologer while under demonic possession.  If successful, the device will open the Ocularis Infernum ( ‘The Eye of Hell’ ) allowing him to see all things, past and future, divine and damned.

⋆ verse — college is fun as long as you don’t die ( 1958 – 1962 )

Royce doesn’t die that fateful October night.  He lives to see prom, to graduate, to take up a baseball scholarship and move on with his life.  He still harbours a great love of hot-rodding, but baseball is his ticket out of small-town misery and he grabs the opportunity with both hands.

⋆ verse — it ain’t over ‘til it’s over ( 1963 – 1968 )

He did it, he made it, he’s finally famous.  Royce is a Major League Baseball player, his face is printed on posters and in the newspapers.

⋆ verse — when you’re over the hill you begin to pick up speed ( 1969 – )

By 30 years of age, Royce is past his peak and his time in the spotlight comes to a close. Retiring from baseball, he starts coaching the up-and-comers – but it isn’t the same as standing in the home plate with a crowded stadium screaming your name.

⋆ verse — professional crash test dummy ( 1958 – )

Royce doesn’t die that fateful October night, nor does he seize the chances baseball presents. Instead, he follows his hot-rodding dreams, and goes on to become a sports car racer.  James Dean would be proud.

⋆ verse — we’re gonna be together forever baby

exclusive to @shellcrack . Royce Clayton is in love with Miriam Ross – the prom king has found his queen, and he is saving for a ring.  What started out as a jockish bet has ended in something serious, with the hot-rod playing for keeps, making big plans for them to leave their small town behind.  Whether they make it or not, Johnny refuses to get out of the picture.

⋆ verse — crazy fun park

A teenager from a quiet corner of North Carolina is offered a baseball scholarship in Melbourne.  Generously bankrolled by Henry Clayton, Royce and Johnny jet off to Australia to tour the university.  Following an argument, Royce is involved in a fatal car accident.  Many years later, a theme park is built on the crash site.  It thrives, it dies, and it collects spirits along the way.  Alternative premise:  Royce is attached to a vintage baseball glove or card which Violetta gifts Nimrod, unwittingly bringing Royce’s ghost to Crazy Fun Park.

[royalarchivist]

Bad: I don’t think people understand the effect QSMP had on some of the streamers in terms of like… The real raw mental impact, so I’m gonna set the stage for you. [...] Imagine that you were given a friend to play Minecraft with — like your best friend — BUT if this person dies, if they die in the game, you never get to talk to them again. Can you imagine what that’s like?

Bad: If you did not live through the QSMP, if you did not live through that, it almost sounds like, crazy. But I don’t think people realize how much of a joyous experience the Eggs were. They were SO awesome! They were literally so awesome to just hang out with and spend time with.

Bad: I’m not saying I regret it. To this day, I loved the experience. I’d do it all over again in a heartbeat. Even knowing how everything went, I would still do it all over again. [...] I would still do it all over again, because — even knowing like, all the trauma and suffering and stuff like that — because it was just… It was just that fun, it was just that fun.

Earlier today during his stream, Bad shared his experience and thoughts about the Eggs and the significant emotional (and traumatic) impact they had on him and his fellow QSMP members.

This clip a very edited-down version since his commentary was ~13 minutes long, so I highly recommend checking out Bad's VOD if you have the time. (Timestamp: 47:36 - 1:00:14)

[ Full Transcript ↓ ]

———

Bad: To be fair Chat, I really think the QSMP... I don't think anyone really can relate to it, Chat. It's something that's so... I've told people this before, like– but it's hard to understand. Right? Like...

Where was I? Sorry Chat, I'm losing my train of thought. Look, let me explain Chat– here's the dealio, ok? Here's the dealio, and this is what I mean when I say like, it's important to keep this in mind, Chat. Ok? It's important to keep this in mind:

I don’t think people understand the effect that the QSMP had on like, some of the streamers, in terms of like… The real raw mental impact, so I’m gonna set the stage for you. This is the analogy I’ve given to every person who I’ve like, shared this with. Imagine you meet somebody– [He hears a strange noise] What the fudge was that? Did you hear that?

Anyway– Chip! The story I was just relaying to Chat, Chip, was this: I was sharing this story with them, I said–  I was giving them an analogy. 

Imagine Chat, for example, imagine that you were… playing Minecraft, with like– you were given a friend to play Minecraft with, Chat, like your best friend, and [unintelligible] were like, “Hey, you get to play Minecraft with this person, right? BUT if this person dies – they’re currently your best friend, Chip – but if they die in the game, you never get to talk to them again. Ever again.” Can you imagine what that’s like, Chip?

I don’t think a lot of people understand like, what that does, right? I’m not gonna say that like, it creates this situation, Chip, that like, messes with your head, but it– Chip – but it totally, totally does, Chip. It messes with your head! It literally puts you in a position where you’re second-guessing and thinking about everything, Chip! You’re thinking about EVERYTHING Chip! Ok? And that’s the problem, Chip– is you turn into a paranoid monster because of it, Chip! Like, you don’t understand Chip– I was- I was so afraid of every dirt block, I used to carry a shovel with me Chip, and I would specifically right-click dirt blocks that looked suspicious because mines, Chip– mines could not be shoveled! Like, I was crazy, Chip! But here’s the problem, Chip: that craziness is still there. I’m genuinely like–

I remember thinking Chip, that I would one day– I was like, “I’m going to move past–” here, let’s go up here, Chip. I remember thinking one day Chip, I was like, “I’m gonna move past the underground base, one of these days. You know, one of these days, I feel like I’ll be able to grow and achieve the desire to build a base that doesn’t have to be underground.” But I don’t think it’s possible now Chip, because I think… I just don’t know. I feel like the paranoia– there’s still like, residual leftover trauma from that situation, Chip.

But here’s the problem Chip: I don’t think I don’t think– I don’t think people understand it. Like, I just really don’t. But I also don’t blame them Chip, ‘cuz I don’t think it’s possible to fully understand it if you haven’t lived through it. Like, if you did not live through the QSMP… I’m talking about the QSMP, I don’t- I don’t know if that was obvious– if you did not live through that, it almost sounds like, crazy. But I don’t think people realize how much of a joyous experience like, the Eggs were. Right? I don’t think people realize it. Like, they were SO awesome! They were literally so awesome to just hang out with and spend time with, Chip. So, it’s just one of those things that–

[He’s interrupted by a loud rumble of thunder above them]

Did lightning just strike here? Is it thunderstorming out…? But anyway, Chip. That’s the food for thought.

But that’s the problem– Like, every time it rains in Minecraft, I have to like, look at the sky, and I get this weird, like, second--hand vibe because of the trauma. The trauma, Chip! The trauma is real! But that’s the point– I’m not saying I regret it. I, to this day Chip, I loved the experience. I’d do it all over again in a heartbeat. Even knowing how everything went, I would still do it all over again. 

[He falls down] Dangit, don’t come over here Chip, ‘cuz I’m coming back up! Ok.

I would still do it all over again, because — even knowing like, all the trauma and suffering  and stuff like that — because it was just… It was just that fun, Chip, it was just that fun. I really wi– I don’t think it’s ever gonna be possible, Chip, to give people that same energy, like that same experience. You know what I mean, Chip? I don’t think it’s ever gonna be possible again. Like, EVER.

Because… because like, one: I will say on one level Chip, I will say on one level, like– it’s sort of emotionally like… It’s emotionally devastating, and I think to actually go through that– and this is where like, if I ever do end up going to a– see a therapist, if I ever do end up going to see a therapist at any point, I’ll talk it over with them and be like, “Hey, what do you think about this?” Because I genuinely think on one level, like– it’s created this fear of forming attachments because of like, how things can go. You know what I mean? Like, the fear of getting attached to something and then potentially losing it. Like, it’s- it’s a genuine thing. I think people forget about that.

Like, at the end of the day, everything was RP, right? On the server. You know what I mean? Like, everything was RP, Chip. BUT at the same point, even though it was RP Chip, it was still like– there the reality of you were still playing like, with another person, and you were still getting that experience, and it felt like you were genuinely attached to someone and you didn’t want anything bad to happen to them. It was GENUINELY stressful, Chip.

But at the same point, I don’t regret it, and I don’t think it was a bad experience. I’m– 

Sometimes in life Chip, you go through stuff, and maybe you have a certain amount of like, things that like, can happen, that you’re like, “You know what, maybe this wasn’t a good thing that this happened,” but at the same point, you still aren’t necessarily upset about it, because… it’s like growing as a person, right? Here’s the thing Chip; even bad situations, Chip, can lead to an overall good outcome. Like–

Even if you’re going through something bad Chip, just because a bad thing happens doesn’t mean that only bad things have to come from that. That’s one of the things I tell people all the time, Chip, is that if you go through a bad situation, you can learn from it, and you can use your experience to help others. And you can be that– you can be, at the worst-case scenario, you can be someone for other people who are going through that same experience to lean on when they go through that.I think there’s a certain amount of comfort that comes from that; from knowing no matter how bad your situation is, you’re not the only person who’s experienced it. You know what I mean?

[moodlesmain]

Hi. Look at this.

I just spent two days straight making a digital conspiracy board trying to piece together my favourite genre that isn't really a genre and more just a very particular niche which doesn't really have a name.

If you want to look I reccomend downloading and zooming in on the image to read everything LMAO, I want to try and convert it to a page on my neocities at some point so its easier to view but for now you guys just get a big ol' jpeg. You're welcome :)

[sir-fenris]

AAAAAAAAA 🥹 I've lived for the day that I would be getting commentaries too. I can die happy. Thank you <33

Sorry for taking so long to answer. I read it before going to sleep and I giggled so much my cheeks hurt, but I was too tired to answer cohesively. And today I was busy pretty much the whole time :'(

But I was able to write this down while preparing and eating my dinner :D

(My responses organization is kinda messy, don't mind it please XD)

It is real and it is happening, I'm glad Cyrus's yearning was clear and that it seemed a strong start :) I went back and forth with SO MANY begginings, I think I wrote and deleted more than 10 completely different starting paragraphs XD.

I might put the rp on the masterpost soon! I wanted to ask you if I could, first. And find a way to organize it in a way I feel is nice to read.

And well... about the gloves, who knows? :) is it because he can use his magic with any skin contact? What I can say is that all handlers do have gloves with technology, but usually, they're are fingerless gloves. Wilson's hands and arms are fully covered.

(I already changed your emoji <3)

Yes, protection barriers makes him nauseous when he goes in, because it's designed exatcly to keep his magic contained in the tent in case he uses it unauthorized, so it gives him a bad feeling. Once Wilson gives him authorization, the barriers are set down. When the authorization is revoked, they come back up. That's one of the many reasons why Wilson has to communicate when he's about to turn the nullification back of the collar.

A lot of safety measures 😃

Well... I wouldn't say he's allowed to actually refuse food. Wilson just sometimes is "merciful" and allows him to take his breakfast after his comedown is done, because usually Cyrus feels sick before getting to work. (If Cyrus... makes a mess, yk, Wilson will have to report and take care of the situation, and that's too troublesome)

And I'm not one for underestimating trope either, but I guess in LW whump it's interesting because adds to the familiar dehumanization and because the LW is actually very powerful and that gets proven.

"ohhh :( he makes me sad I'm definitely gonna read the comfort ask"

My comfort is also whumpy, because I don't wanna spoil Cyrus too much yet, he's still on the whump arc... but I hope you find the hurt/comfort good enough XD.

":( he knelt fast then. man..."

He dropped down on his knees :') Wilson doesn't let him kneel down slowly.

And Wilson whispered the "behave". Rhe others around don't need to hear the weapon being reminded to behave, just know that it will.

About the other gifted. I'll show the sketches of the gloves soon, but you'll see that it does need a metal manipulator, or else it has to be cut off and re-made on his hand every time. It's 100% closed. So that's why they use other gifted to do it.

(Usually metalokinetics are used around for stuff like that, menial tasks. They only go to battlefield if they are strong enough to destroy enemy's weapons and machines.)

"yeah I know </3 man this is a bunch of info I know cause I've already been exposed to bits of this story but for future newcomers this is probably necessary clarification"

That was the hardest part :') I wanted anyone who didn't knew any context to be able to understand the first chapter (though that's really really hard without a beta/proof reader) and the people who did have context to enjoy it anyway, even though it's pretty much a retelling of the drabble a lot of you already read. I was afraid of giving too little information and making it hard to understand, and of giving too much information and making it too dense.

60% of the chaotic editing was because of this. And 50% of the typos is because I kept changing sentences and missing to change a word or to (like making a sentence about one of his hands, then decide it should be both hands, but forget to put one of the words in plural)

Speaking of that, I need to do a typo checking on the chapter asap... already caught 2 yesterday.

"ugh he's so well trained"

His handler is proud to hear that.

I'LL GIVE YOU ALL THE GRASS EVER SWEET LOVELY BOY </3

Own, that's adorable. He'll have grass in recovery, lots of it, don't worry.

(The bar is very low when touching grass is almost an ultimate reward...)

aaaaaaaaa? wilson my beloved he's so cold

"Wilson" and "beloved" in the same sentence is........ something I was not expecting ever. Huh.

ooooooo :D I remember wondering why the art of him showed him with blue lines in his collar when he was a threat level red!!! fascinating :3

😊 when the nullification is on, it stays blue. When he's being shocked, it flashes yellow, and when his magic is free, it turns red. :D safety measures, too.

About the withering description, thank you! I really think it might be too abstract or dense to some people, especially those who don't have any context, but there's really not much I could do. From Cyrus's view, he's not seeing what the magic is actually doing, and this needed to be included on the first chapter.

But I'll try to slide in some description from Wilson's view of his powers in a canon chapter to make it clearer, perhaps make a separate post showing his vision vs what's actually happening, if I can.

And yeah! On the drabble I was really thinking about that song. But on canon, it became more like a curious fact, because I made it so it's from another language. It doesn't have a set lyrics, though the translation would be something akin to the hurt incantation. No one knows what Cyrus's murmuring means, not even him, it's gibberish to them all.

Yeaaah! I'm happy you saw that "Sweet Creature" follows the same line that "Magic Euphoria" drabble. It's pretty much that drabble, but from his perspective, plus a bit more at the beginning and end. This chapter is the truly canon, since when I did the drabble I didn't have the characters in mind, but Cyrus really does say "yes, sir" because his conditioning runs deep. He doesn't say "okay" ever.

(But Wilson is also an unreliable narrator, so you can consider the drabble him remembering Cyrus's words to be more disobedient than it actually was, since he spoke quietly)

(Poor baby, being shocked not even knowing why, loosing his warmth, being remembered as disrespectful even when he wasn't...)

Metallokinetic whumpee is not well :(

"oooo so he has gloves on when not working got it got it. leather! I assume it's to avoid skin to skin contact? or his hands are the most effective conduit and the higher-ups don't want him touching anything with his hands?"

I like the way you're going :)

(Both Cyrus and Wilson have gloves, but Cyrud's is restrictive)

About the den (his cabin) and mattress.... eh, don't get too happy. Remember, unreliable narrator. And this ask is very important.

(Oh, you reminded me that I wanted to put the images of his cabin and capsule on the chapter, thanks, I'll do that later)

"oooo is his collar nullifying it? or the gloves? capsule??? I think it's the collar"

All of the above. Plus the glasses too. Safety measures :)

the euphoria narration thing is. so fucking good man. but why'd he get shocked?? this isn't in the wilson pov chapter 😔

First, thank you <3

Second, it's not defined, it could have been a lot of different things. But my favorite option is that he started singing without realizing it.

"someone please give him a blanket istg. I know this is a different kind of cold but can he have a blanket :("

He can only earn blanket privileges when he's at the central base. In caimpaings there are no blanket privileges.

If he's very very good, tho, he might earn one night with a blanket.

!!! sneaky :0

🥰 He would look down ashamed at your words. He really didn't mean to be... he just wanted to relieve some of the painful uneasiness.

also love that. “his handler always sees everything.” !!! love love love that love the sheer amount of fear and expecting danger

YEAAA, that's the emotions I wanted to show. Especially since Cyrus is blinded so often. He rarely knows when Wilson is looking, to what he pays attention, what is his expression. It's kinda like the Panopticon Prison. You never know when you're being watched, so you stay on edge the whole time.

Wilson is a smart handler :)

HE'S NOT EVEN ALLOWED TO MOVE WITHOUT PERMISSION??? I mean I expected that but damn. also gloves again. is it a military thing or is this the skin contact thing

He's not allowed to move in the ways Wilson doesn't approve. What moves does Wilson approve? Only Wilson knows.

Cyrus discovers when he's shocked for doing the ones on the "no" list.

And the gloves, ah the gloves. Who knows?

Wilson knows, he's the one that changed their designs too.

pfft I love those moments of like. passive caring about everyday stuff in whump. they're funny but then they're not funny

Yeah, I really like doing that :D

Cyrus doesn't want to go through an hour of Wilson getting his anger out in his hair, leaving him with a sore scalp and holding back tears. His hair is full of broken strands because of it already.

HEY DON'T CALL HIM SNEAKY I DID IT FONDLY >:(

I let out a really genuine laugh 🤣

ough.. he's so scared poor baby

Of Wilson? Always.

D: man I don't even know what to say this is just rlly fuckin good. guilt my beloved

Oh well, thank you <3

huh??? how come he didn't get physically close to any of it

His comedown has really fun hallucinations :)

Auditory, visual, gustatory, tactile, proprioceptive and interoceptive ones. Not all together or at the same comedown, it varies.

WOW!!! love the logic and treating cyrus like so much of an object wilson can just talk out loud while he's there.

:)

man. I love cyrus. I love wilson. I have so many feelings about them both... I rlly love handler whumpers those are so neat I love cold whumpers that are professional. wilson has such a presence in this chapter. cyrus is so cute I wanna wrap him in blankets...

I loved how this was like. stractured with the euphoria and comedown and everything. I also love how despite everything cyrus is still so caring towards others it's so. ough </3

Really, thank you for this <333 I'm really pleasently surprise to see people saying stuff like "doing the fenris thing" for the commentaries. It really makes me happy, like... YEAH? Please do! With me and with others. It's so cool to read these. Even tired, even busy, I just wanted to keep coming here to read yours and others comments.

So thank you <3 really enjoyed reading this, and I really like the way you think :)

-

Sweet Creature

Content: magical living weapon, dehumanization, "it" briefly used as pronoun, dangerous whumpee, magical euphoria, shock collar, sensory (visual) deprivation, manhandling, military whump, implied institutionalized whump, magical slavery, heavily implied mass murder, hallucinations.

(chapter 1) | next chapter ->

(Curse of Withering masterpost)

Cyrus wishes to at least have a look around while outside. It would only be a military camp, soldiers walking around, tents set up, maybe some horses on one side. Not a very pleasant nor interesting view.

But at least he would be seeing the sky, and the grass, and people.

He's not. He's seeing pure black from behind his nullification glasses, being guided by an unrelenting hand on his neck, just above his heavy collar. Not even allowed to feel skin, only the tough material of a glove.

Around Cyrus, talk dies down, and muttering comes to life, as he's used to. It never stops making him feel ashamed.

Also not allowed to curl up or hide in any way, he's just dragged forward to keep walking.

A strong sensation of nausea hits him when they enter his designed post tent of this campaign. It feels like the protection barriers put around the tents are getting stronger each campaign.

Being on an empty stomach doesn't help, either. Regret fills him from refusing breakfast, but he's sure his stomach wouldn't have kept it down anyway.

"... This is it? The rumors made it look spine-chilling, not... this." A voice from his right side says, a bit far back. Further into the tent, then. Cyrus doesn't recognize the voice, but the words are familiar.

The gloved hand on his neck squeezes, and he stops after a second of trying to figure out if it was out of frustration or a command to stand still.

No scolding comes, so it must have been a command. Or both.

"Wait until you see it destroying a whole military camp while laughing like a maniac," Mr. Wilson says. That voice he does recognizes in the very core of his being. And by the coldness of it, his handler is audibly used to that question as well.

Cyrus doesn't have time to feel ashamed of the words before a pressure on his neck commands him to kneel down. Even with the knee pads, a mercy not chosen by his handler, the impact hurts a bit.

"Behave." Is what reaches his ear before the leather gloves are unfastened from his wrists.

Magic wraps around the metal gloves that were beneath the leather ones and bend it open. Cyrus didn't even hear the metallokinetic's handler telling them to do that. Maybe this gifted doesn't have a handler, he knows there's some free Gifted that serve the military willingly.

Unlike Cyrus.

He obediently waits with unmoving hands until his handler applies pressure on his head in another silent command. No one speaks as the nullification glasses are unlocked from his bowed head, nor when his half-necrotic fingertips find the floor beneath him.

It's not grass, it's rocks. He suppresses a disappointed sigh.

Cyrus knows better than to look around or shift from his position, but he's still able to see a bit of the tent's inside. The metallokinetic does in fact have a handler, and a black eye. He can't see anyone else, they're all behind him for safety.

That black eye must hurt, there's probably more bruises under the clothing, it never stops at just one.

Cyrus shouldn't care that the gifted was hurt. But he did. They deserve someone to care.

Mr. Wilson blocks his vision of the gifted by crouching down. The direct, practical delineation of where the enemy camp is sinks into his mind easily as his handler speaks. It's easy to map in his head exactly where he needs to focus on.

"You have permission to use your power, Wither." An uncomfortable eagerness blooms in him at the words.

"Yes, sir," Cyrus whispers and his collar beeps, its blue lights turning red as magic comes to life under his skin once again.

𝚃𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚊𝚛𝚎, 𝚜𝚠𝚎𝚎𝚝 𝚌𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚝𝚞𝚛𝚎.

Pain doesn't even register in the sea of feelings building up in his body. The rocks puncturing the palms of his hands aren't nearly enough to ground him, not after years of the magic slowly numbing his nerves.

The tent disappears and all he can see is colors erupting from the blackness, like thousands of little roots travelling through the grass. Ignoring the surrounding life had become easier over the years, and the withering knew to travel until it's closer to the delineated area than to him before branching to reach all soldiers of the other side.

It took less than a minute for him to spiral into euphoria this time.

Faintly, he knew his lips were moving, in that same eerie murmur of always, singing words he couldn't understand, but also couldn't forget. An incantation that breaks the laws of nature. A chant that was never created... only repeated. The echo of something that always existed.

And so he repeats. From the words, waves of withering magic follows the colorful branches and pushes it forward.

His hands crack and dug further into the ground, and he repeats the chant again. Again, again, again...

𝙰𝚐𝚊𝚒𝚗.

Cyrus could see, or in a way feel, the life bursting out of the enemy's camp. It was hard to separate what was greenery and what was people, but it didn't matter in the end.

Wither magic fills the entire enemy camp with thousands of black ramifications that only he sees the colors of. Growing, rotting, decaying.

Every cell in his body beams with giddy energy.

A warm mist swirls on his arms pleasantly. Something similar started filling his eyes, and Cyrus's head was pure delight. His chest shudders with a bubbly feeling as a smile grows on his face.

And then everything goes black. The cold, painful reality crashes down on him, harshly taking all the cheerfulness away and leaving behind an itch, a hysteric uneasiness. A faint beeping of his collar tells him he's done today, it had turned blue again.

Cyrus didn't even know he had made a noise until the collar beeps again with a warning electrical shock. With a flinch, he goes dead quiet. An argument was happening over his head.

Cyrus wants to keep using his magic, why can't he? It's so warm and happy-

"It was fucking smiling, it is fine to keep on! What is the point of having a weapon that can't be used?!" A man behind him almost yells. Not the same one from before, a slightly more familiar one. It might be the general, but without seeing it's hard to be sure.

Yes, Cyrus was fine to keep going, he was! It's been less than a minute with the nullification glasses back on, but he misses the colorful cheerfulness already, his body is taut with the need to move, to do something, anything.

But Mr. Wilson is right there, so he stays obediently still.

"I'm not telling it to launch an attack again! The magic would consume it's head and-" Mr. Wilson pauses, and Cyrus recognizes his temper rising. It's an effort not to flinch. "Ugh, you have no idea how bad it gets. Wither. Up, we're leaving."

"Mmn?" The order takes a second to click. "Oh... yes, sir..." To speak was hard, his tongue didn't move the okay he wanted it to. Cyrus could hear the ecstatic smile on his own voice, and he almost winces at it, but without knowing why. To smile was good, wasn't it?

Should he even be speaking, actually? Wilson doesn't usually like him speaking. Did he say "Sir" as he was supposed to? He doesn't think so... but no shock comes. Perhaps he did. It's hard to remember.

The floor seemed to spin beneath Cyrus when he stood up.

A gloved grip squeezes his arm and Cyrus knows to stay completely still, despite the dizziness. Magic envelops his hands as the metal gloves are bent to fit them again. He still couldn't hear the metallokinetic's handler telling them to do it, maybe it had been a silent command.

He feels the leather gloves being fastened on his wrists, too, before Mr. Wilson grabs him by the upper nape and guides him out. The sound of many boots around them tells him the escort team is here already.

On the way back, there's no longer any murmuring. Even blinded, he knows everyone is just staring. There's only the sound of heavy steps and the wind slowly bringing the smell of death into the camp.

The heavy metal door shuts with the escort team outside, and the only steps that echo inside the container are his and Mr. Wilson.

Blindly, he's pushed to sit inside his resting capsule. Oh, that's right, he's at a campaign, his den isn't here... the sad longing only lasts a second.

The thin mattress is cold, and the restraints are too tight. Cyrus hates the cold, but it feels so weird, he can't help but giggle. It sounds off, but he can't pinpoint why.

"Quiet," Mr. Wilson scolds sternly, fastening his legs securely inside the capsule. Cyrus flinches and tenses from the upcoming shock that doesn't arrive.

What a silly thing, to flinch from something that didn't even happen. He suppresses another fit of giggles.

The pressure building up behind his eyes and neck is getting harder to ignore. His fingers twitch with the need to use his magic again, but the nullification doesn't let him.

The pressure gets worse.

𝚂𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚞𝚜, 𝚜𝚠𝚎𝚎𝚝 𝚌𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚝𝚞𝚛𝚎.

Now the shock comes, and Cyrus's flinch is not so funny this time. It wasn't just a warning shock, but he doesn't know why he has been punished. Mr. Wilson doesn't clarify it, either. He's scared of not knowing.

The twitches are getting worse. He wants to move. The cold is starting to creep in again, and he wants the warmth back.

His hands move slowly under the temporarily loose restrictions, trying to relieve some of the painful nervous energy without grabbing Mr. Wilson's attention.

It doesn't work. His handler always sees everything.

"Did I say you could move, Wither?" Cyrus freezes from the gelid tone. His shoulders go up chastened just before a gloved hand fists his hair harshly. That'll form a knot later... he wants to wash up and detangle his hair already, before it gets too bad.

From how harsh Mr. Wilson's grip is, he doesn't think he'll be allowed that so soon.

"Stop trying to be sneaky, that's the only warning you'll be given." Cold and firm as always. Frightening as always.

"Yes, sir," Cyrus answers quietly. It's weird how he still feels afraid and sad even when he's feeling giggly and euphoric.

Euphoric. Didn't that word mean something important? The headache is getting worse.

Mr. Wilson's grip only grows even more painful. There's more to be said, but Cyrus's head is not working well. He doesn't want to talk, he wants to move.

What weapons want doesn't matter.

He tries again. "I'm... I won't be sneaky again. I'm sorry, Mr. Wilson," he tries. The hand leaves his hair without any further words.

The need to move only gets worse in the silent. He knows Mr. Wilson knows. Cyrus's body is so tense it hurts.

He needs to use his magic, he needs to. It hurts, it's bad, he wants the giddy energy back, and not this nervous, restless cold creeping in. Everything is still pitch black, and the restraints are too heavy, and he wants his magic free again-

So you can kill more people with it?

No. What? No, no, no-

Your handler stopped you before the euphoria truly took place. Where is your gratitude, you vile thing? Why must others die just so you can smile?

That's not what he wants, he just... he just wants the colors back, the happy feeling of-

Of killing.

The memories of colored forms change. Those were people.

People you killed.

"Are you crashing already?" Comes the distant, cold voice. It takes long seconds for Cyrus to recognize it's Mr. Wilson's.

Crashing. Yes. Yes, he's crashing, and he's still on war camp, so he doesn't even get his white den-

Images strafe his mind. People died. People were killed. By him. And he was just smiling. He giggled to people losing their lives. Not only soldiers, there were medics, and servants, and-

A cold, sharp thing runs his arm and he flinched away, swallowing hard. He tastes blood. He knows it's not his.

Vile thing. You're a plague on earth that should be eradicated.

Cyrus's back presses against the capsule mattress, and he can barely separate what is real touch and what isn't. Sharp goosebumps run up his arm, his hands are being held, there's a pressure on his chest and a numbness on his left leg.

"It's euphoric state was pretty fast this time, it was a good timing to retrieve it," Mr. Wilson's out loud thinking reaches his ear along with a faint noise of screams that mustn't be true.

They're true, you're just hearing them too late.

"Today will be easy, then."

Cyrus couldn't disagree more with his handler.

-

-

-

Want to see Mr. Wilson's pov? This is the drabble this series began as. You can consider it a loose version of this chapter, but in Mr. Wilson's view.

Taglist: @whump-till-ya-jump @floral-comet-whump @paingoes @bonbonbobomb @inhurtandincomfort @half-duck @scoundrelwithboba

-

[s2pdoktopus]

Different ways Wei Wuxian can find out that his shidi is in fact a husband, a father or both (because gods It would be so funny)

Situation A.

Wei Wuxian visits Jin Ling who refused an invitation to night hunt. He thought his nephew was overworking himself and needed a break. A break that Wei Wuxian will harass Jin Ling into taking. It's his specialty and he had a lot of practice with Jiang Cheng.

When he arrived, he found Jin Ling distressed. Apparently a child he was babysitting decided onesidedly that they are playing hide-and-seek then disappeared. The Koi tower is filled with metaphorical snakes who might do harm to this child. Fairy, as it happened, was currently with Jiang Cheng who is in the Jin sect territory to handle a yao in Jin Ling's request because only Zidian can deal with this particular monster and Fairy can help him track it.

Wei Wuxian has questions about this scenario;

1. Why is the sect leader of Lanling Jin on baby sitting duty?

2. Why would anyone harm this child?

3. Who is this child?

Jin Ling is in baby sitting duty because Jiang Cheng brought the child with him to Lanling specifically to make Jin Ling not join the night hunt. It's very manipulative of him and very effective. And now there's a missing guest from Yunmeng Jiang that Jin Ling has to find.

Wei Wuxian promises Jin Ling that they will find this kid before Jiang Cheng arrives to break his legs.

So they go separate ways to find this child, they search the koi tower up and down for any glimpse of purple hiding in the corners.

It is Wei Wuxian who found the kid. Apparently the child has been moving from their hiding spots every time Jin Ling is near. The only reason Wei Wuxian found them is because he is very clearly not a Jin and the kid thought he wouldn't report to Jin Ling. "It's cheating to ask his disciples to help him find me." The kid sulked, "But I had practice! None of my shijie and shixiong ever finds me in lotus pier." The kid boasts.

Wei Wuxian asks, "And your parents don't worry when you disappear for long periods of time like this?"

The kid grins, "No. A-Die let's me hide under his table and he tells everyone I wasn't there! He makes me study though. It's boring."

Before Wei Wuxian can ask further questions, Jiang Cheng's voice echoes in the golden tower, "Jiang Rui! You come out right now or I will break your legs."

Instead of fearing the threats of broken legs and looking apologetic, the kid brightens up, "A-Die is back!" Then, before Wei Wuxian's brain can process the words the kid is gone.

Situation B.

Wei Wuxian infiltrated a group of demonic cultivators. There were a good number of them and he wanted to see what exactly they were planning to do together. They plan on taking revenge on the Sect Leader of Yunmeng Jiang, apparently. They were once greater in number and Jiang Cheng had raided their main base. Now all that's left are them and they want revenge.

Now, Wei Wuxian does not approve of them planning to kill his shidi whom he almost died for but he also thought, of course Jiang Cheng made so many enemies they banded together just to be his haters club.

They have a plan on how to torment Jiang Cheng. And apparently, it involves hurting someone precious to him. Not Jin Ling, no. They don't want to anger both the Jiang sect and the Jin sect, not to mention, Jin Ling is already a full-fledged cultivator who can defend himself. They will hurt Jiang Cheng's child instead.

Whatever other plans the demonic cultivators divulged did not enter Wei Wuxian's brain after that reveal. Jiang Cheng has a child Wei Wuxian didn't know about. He has so many questions. How old is the child? What's their name? When's their birthday? Jiang Cheng has a wife? Who? Who managed to meet the impossible standard and why did Wei Wuxian not know of her? Are there more baby nieces or nephews Wei Wuxian is unaware of? Why wasn't he informed? Is Wei Wuxian even allowed to see them? These questions can be answered later because first he has a Jiang Cheng hater's club to disband, disfigure, dismember and disembowel. They don't get to hurt his shidi's children. No one gets to hurt Wei Wuxian's not-family.

(Wei Wuxian receives an invite to the Jiang heir's birthday party, an invitation written by Jiang Cheng himself demanding that Wei Wuxian gift his child something good to make up for all the birthdays he missed. Torturing those shidi haters was worth it.)

Situation C.

It's been a good few years since Wei Wuxian came back from the dead. Today feels like a deja vu of the day he returned. Currently he is trapped in an immortal binding net, the baby Lans who are not so baby anymore are trapped, too. He was calling for Lan Zhan when a Yunmeng Jiang disciple came to them.

"Oh good, Young master, if you would so kindly free us, my husband wouldn't have to destroy your nets." Wei Wuxian says. Again, he thinks.

The Jiang disciple, instead of doing as asked, cheered. the disciple fired a flare and in no time at all, Jiang Cheng arrived. he scans the surroundings, scowls at his trapped ex brother then levels the disciple with a glare. "There better be an explanation for that flare, brat."

The disciple grins, "I caught the Yiling Patriarch, A-Die. You ought to sing my praises for this achievement." The kid cheekily says, as they avoid Jiang Cheng's grabby hands, leaping and then running away.

Silence enveloped them as the kid's laugh faded.

"You have a kid?!"

"Let's get you out of that net."

"No! Don't change the subject! you have to explain the kid first!"

"Right, you're married to a man so you don't know. Wei Wuxian, when a man and a woman love each other very much-"

"That's not what I mean and you know it!"

(There's 400 nets. Again. because this is Jiang Cheng and it's for his kid. Jin Ling donated another 100 nets for his cousin to use. There were 500 nets in that forest that night. Thankfully, none of them were destroyed. The little Jiang heir came back to his father bearing a ghost general who is also trapped in a net. Jiang Cheng chased him all the way back to lotus pier, the Jiang disciples put the nets away before following their masters.)

Situation D.

Wei Wuxian doesn't know why but Lan Qiren asked for him. There's probably a rule he broke but he breaks them enough times that he doesn't know which rule warranted the summon. What Lan Qiren does is not scold him but ask, what is the best gift one could give to the heir of the Jiang sect?

The Jiang heir is turning 100 days old soon and Lan Qiren would very much like to give the child the best gift from the Lan. There's probably some political reasoning to this gift giving competition. Something along the lines of the child being a bundle of joy for simply possessing the blood of the Jiang, like a ray of hope after the reveal of decades old betrayals. Something about looking good by giving a baby a simple gift.

To Wei Wuxian it feels like ice water dumped onto him. He severed their ties but he didn't think of how it changes their relationship, how that change will manifest itself.

Jin Zixuan had graciously invited Wei Wuxian to Jin Ling's 100 day celebration. Jiang Cheng didn't even tell him that his child was born.

(some angst for funsies)

Situation E.

Wei Wuxian is drawn to go back to Yunmeng. There are waves of rumors saying the name, "the Twin Prides of Yunmeng." He has to see. He has to know: who did Jiang Cheng replace him with? Are they worthy of the name? (How could Jiang Cheng use that name for himself and Wei Wuxian's replacement?)

On his way, he found two Jiang cultivators night hunting close to home. He accompanied them, found himself praising them for their team work and coordination, and watched them be thanked by the town's people. "The Twin Prides of Yunmeng Jiang", they call the kids. Jiang Cheng is there, too, shoulders stiff ever since he saw Wei Wuxian. The town's head says, "you must be very proud of your children, sect leader Jiang."

Jiang Cheng, "they're immature and still have a long way to go." But he ruffles their heads and orders them to hurry home and make themselves presentable.

Completely independent from Wei Wuxian's promise, Yunmeng Jiang finds themselves with new twin prides. Siblings. Twins. The new blood of the Jiang clan, Jiang Cheng's children. Looking at them feels like looking back at himself and Jiang Cheng of the past.

Situation F.

Wei Wuxian is with the kids night hunting. Him and Lan Wangji are still traveling. They just happened upon the juniors and decided to join the night hunt. One mystery leads to another but surprise of surprises, Jin Ling bows out of the hunt. The juniors are confused, Jin Ling? Refusing an excuse to get away from sect business?? Annoyed by the exaggerated mock surprise of Jingyi, Jin Ling says that there's an important business in Yunmeng he has to deal with. Ouyang Zizhen then reminds everyone that sect leader jiang's child is turning 2 in a few days. Jin Ling adds that he has to give his baby cousin the bestest gift. He'll be in Lotus pier a few days before the celebration. No one is surprised about this supposed child of Jiang Cheng. "Oh, yes, the Jiang heir. Please tell them that the Lan said happy birthday."

Wei Wuxian: "Why did no one ever bother to tell me??"

Jin Ling: "You should have figured it out yourself, aren't you jiujiu's brother?"

Situation G.

Situation H.

Nie Huaisang: Wei-xiong, I'm so sorry I couldn't come see you immediately, I was entertaining my little niece, she wouldn't let me go unless I taught her how to paint flowers. You know how kids are!

Wei Wuxian: I'm only here to ask about this spirit-

Nie Huaisang: Yes, of course. Follow me, I'll try my best to help. Thank you so much Wei-xiong, for handling this problem.

Wei Wuxian: I... Didn't know that your brother had a daughter.

Nie Huaisang: Oh! She's not Da-ge's! She's Jiang-xiong's actually! It's a miracle he's even letting her come visit.

Wei Wuxian: Jiang Cheng's what?! Since when??! And why are you her uncle?!

Nie Huaisang: Jiang-xiong's Xiao An is turning 8 this spring so I guess Jiang-xiong has been a father for 7 years? Though I guess we can argue that he's been one for far longer? Ah, I don't know if that's really the case! Xiao An calls me uncle so that makes her my niece, no? Honorary uncle! At least she has the eye for art! I'm gifting her a bird for her upcoming birthday. Do you think Jiang-xiong will be all right with that? Wei-xiong? Wei-xiong?

Wei Wuxian will start fishing information about this newly found niece from Jin Ling. Tell him everything! It's important. There's an uncle-lympics happening and Wei Wuxian is losing on the top one spot on both the Jin Ling fave uncle race and the Jiang An fave uncle race! (According to him, he's only losing because both his competitors had a headstart)

Situation I.

It's the Gusu lectures and the Jiang's are attending. It's the shidis of Wei Wuxian's former sect! He tries his best to get to know them with various levels of success but one shidi is stubbornly avoiding him. This to Wei Wuxian is just an invitation for extra attention. He will soften this one shidi's heart out! He tells Lan Sizhui and Lan Jingyi, "Haha! He's just like Jiang Cheng!" and the two looked at each other with worry (Lan Sizhui) and disbelief (Lan Jingyi) and they told him "Senior Wei, that young master is Sect Leader Jiang's son."

Ah. Suddenly it makes sense why he looks so much like Jiang Cheng. Wei Wuxian has many many emotions about this. Mostly various kinds of sadness. But look at the bright side! Jiang Cheng's kid is in Wei Wuxian's new home! He can get to know his nephew without Jiang Cheng glaring at him to stay away (Lan Zhan, Lan Zhan! I'm an uncle of two! Can you believe it? Jiang Cheng managed to find a wife. You have to tell me everything you know, Lan Zhan!)

It's a hard battle to get to know his other nephew. But he'll find out that it's easier when he's talking about his time in Lotus Pier. The kid doesn't like him clearly but he likes hearing about his dad's youth. The kid is also easily offended on his dad's behalf and jumps at every opportunity to fact check Wei Wuxian. Obviously, it's a double edged sword to get the kid's attention by insulting his dad (Wei Wuxian always does it with or without meaning to)

Wei Wuxian will learn that the kid is hellbent of fact checking him because the kid doesn't like the rumors about his father. The kid doesn't have friends outside of the Yunmeng disciples because he doesn't want to be friends with people who lobby insults at his father.

- Actually. Jiang Cheng had to go to cloud recesses. Apologize to Lan Zhan and talk to his kid in private after the kid insulted Lan Zhan. Wei Wuxian still wants to get to know the hellion so he convinced Lan Zhan to let him stay. The little Jiang heir seemed to still want to fact check everyone so he also chose to stay when given the option. And Wei Wuxian decided that, actually, maybe letting the hellion champion his dad will get him somewhere with the kid. Where? Somewhere close to the uncle zone hopefully.

It's a wrong decision because every time the kid blabs about how awesome a Yunmeng Jiang led by his dad is actually, Wei Wuxian just misses his old home more and more. He just missed Jiang Cheng more and more.

Now, a happy ending will be him being liked enough by the Jiang heir that he gets an invitation.

The devastating ending is if (following the meta that Wei Wuxian ascribed Jiang Cheng to be just plain awful ™ to justify not wanting to face him and the consequences of his actions) Wei Wuxian, after gaining some trust of the Jiang heir, says something to refute the boy's "my dad is awesome" speech. The boy clamps his mouth, glares at Wei Wuxian and says, "oh you are just like them." And then leaves the... I dunno? The campfire, roasting fishes and the group of the disciples from various sects who would rather eat with the Yiling laozu than to eat the Lan clan's food. He doesn't see the little Jiang heir until Jiang Cheng came to pick his son up. To add salt to the wound Jiang Cheng whisper shouted to him, "what did you do this time?" It sounds like he is blaming Wei Wuxian for his son choosing to drop the Lan lectures. In reality Jiang Cheng knew Wei Wuxian would try to get to know his son. He knew his son would like Wei Wuxian, everyone does. Even Jiang Cheng does. He is asking what Wei Wuxian did to screw it up.

Situation J.

(Chengxian)

I am not really into the mpreg but please consider:

Wei Wuxian getting summoned to Lotus Pier for official business and getting billed for child support. Apparently his golden core managed to get Jiang Cheng pregnant somehow. Jiang Cheng didn't blame anyone for that because he thought the golden core was his. Now that it's revealed that the core is Wei Wuxian's, well... He's not! Asking Wei Wuxian to come back to him. But he is asking Wei Wuxian to at least be in their kid's life?

And... I honestly dunno how Wei Wuxian will react to this but he will be insufferable

Situation J.1

The other idea is Jiang Cheng not wanting to tell Wei Wuxian. Like, he already sees his mother in himself and he doesn't want his kid to grow up with that environment. Wei Wuxian prefers Lan Wangji and Jiang Cheng will let Wei Wuxian go.

The thing is... Jin Ling does know that his Jiujiu got miraculously impregnated by his own golden core (like wow! restored and providing Yunmeng Jiang with an heir, the miraculous core that keeps on giving) and Jin Ling was there when Jiang Cheng asked Wei Wuxian, "why didn't you tell me?"

When Jin Ling asked his Jiujiu "don't you have something to say to Wei Wuxian?" he was referring to the pregnancy. Jiang Cheng said there's nothing to tell but Jin Ling will be damned if his cousin grows up thinking his... Mom? Dad? Hates him enough to leave. So Jin Ling told Wei Wuxian. (Let's all be thankful that Jin Ling didn't let the how questions marinate in his head or he can very well conclude that it's... Without consent)

We have two possible scenarios now.

A. Wei Wuxian, thinking that his dear shidi is weakened by this delicate problem and concluding that he is the best help so he barges into lotus pier and Jiang Cheng thinking that Wei Wuxian just here for the baby.

B. Wei Wuxian, thinking that Jiang Cheng is delicate right now and doesn't need to get so angry, which he definitely will once Wei Wuxian enters the picture so he hangs back but keeps sending the lan juniors to check on Jiang Cheng. Jiang Cheng, finding out why Jin Ling's friends are suddenly very interested in Yunmeng culture and Jiang Cheng enough to want to visit often and thinking that Wei Wuxian knows and hates Jiang Cheng enough to also leave their baby behind.

Situation K.

(Zhancheng)

Jiang Cheng intrudes on Wangxian's happily ever after because he has to help Jin Ling stabilize the Jin sect and "someone has to take care of our child, Hanguang Jun." Jiang Cheng is about to make many enemies in Lanling and he'd prefer if his ex husband is there for the little one, you know? In case some assassins get sent to their kid for Jiang Cheng's transgressions. Lotus Pier is secure but Jiang Cheng's paranoid brain needs the extra insurance.

No, you can't take the baby with you on your honeymoon traveling. Wangji, I don't believe you or your new lover knows how to feed a child, ah ah ah, no. Lan Sizhui is fed by his uncles and aunties, go to lotus pier and protect the kid. It's all Jiang Cheng asks.

Wei Wuxian can't even focus on the fact that he is in lotus pier without Jiang Cheng haunting the corners because... Holy shit, Lan Zhan and Jiang Cheng are ex-lovers. How is there a child between two men? Why did they divorce? And their kid is so cute, the baby has no right to be this adorable!

Maybe it will lead to zhanchengxian who knows.

[prismit]

THE BEHEADED VRCHAT AVATAR IS NOW COMPLETE AND AVAILABLE ON ALL PLATFORMS!

now features a friend! :)

link is in the replies!

[outlying-hyppocrate]

coming back here feels like paying a visit to the fucking dead.

[squarebracket-trickster]

Maybe I could just [square bracket trick] these revisions and leave them for future me...

Future me is gonna be so mad hehe

[seaofreverie]

I listened to a new Sparks album and it was all I could think about for two weeks straight afterwards, a.k.a. My Hello Young Lovers Review

Okay, so here's my fabled review (I mentioned having written it once about three months ago, so I guess there's a chance that someone still remembers that). It's hecking long (seriously, it's long.) and consists mostly of me pointing out specific sections of the songs and raving about which specific elements of the songs I particularly like. And also attempting to make some sort of general statement on the style / atmosphere / themes etc. of the whole thing. I wrote this back in november, after 5 full listens of the album, over the course of about a week, and I didn't update it with any new opinions that I have formed since, to keep it true to that original form, besides some side notes where I thought they'd be useful to add. I hope you enjoy my yapping, however unprofessional and all over the place this whole thing probably is.

How to start album reviews? Well, I could sum up the general vibe / thing / feel / theme with the album but that seems much more fitting for the conclusion of the whole thing.

So let's kick this off with the first thing we see instead!! The album cover, the sleeve! (note: I got this album on vinyl for that first listening experience, the 2022? reissue) Ohh so pretty and cute, isn't it? Even inside, so much pink, even over-the-toply-so (for real though, I didn't even really think about what to expect from the inner cover, besides some photos that I knew would be there, but it was certainly not THIS. level of pink and cute), it looks so pleasant and sweet, doesn't it? And the band photos too, fun times all around!

Oh wow, ok, let's get back to reality here, I knew what I was in for (knowing just one track and excerpts of other two + reading misc comments on the album before already, as it is inevitable, you know. And frankly, that was actually the exact right amount of info from that commentary for a peak enjoyment here. Not going in totally blind but still encountering many surprises). This is a prime and, imo, very well executed example of mood dissonance. In a way where, idk, maybe it comes from me still having this even small amount of info beforehand, but it's the kind of situation that you can actually tell that something is off.

So yeah, the visual aspect of the album does fit it and I'd even say it does so VERY well, but as to how and why, maybe I should start exploring the atmosphere and themes and elements of individual songs first so we can make more general conclusions from that! So yes, I think it's time to dive in!

1) Dick Around ▪︎

Shortly put, amazing, showstopping and life changing song. And one of the earliest ones for me too! As a part of the extremely important and memorable playlist (note: my first time hearing a bunch of random popular sparks songs), it appeared somewhere in the latter half on the mix and oooh boy, was hearing this song for the first time, on the road in the dark evening too, an experience. I certainly found it intriguing to say the least, maybe I wasn't yet completely SOLD you know, and let's not forget that the second time I heard it (july) it actually kind of freaked me out in a way, but still, it certainly made an impression immediately. There's a reason this is one of the more well known / popular / important songs of theirs overall. This song is truly a journey and it messes with you in so many ways, oooohhh so many ways. I was super looking forward to hearing it again properly after being teased with some parts of it in the more recent weeks, so ok, maybe this is where I get to the individual parts I want to talk about.

Actually wait, first let's maybe say something about the placement. Of course it's the first song as I was pretty much certain it would be (and maybe already had kind of possibly spoiled..?), and it does work incredibly well as a mood-setter for the rest of the album, so it truly couldn't work any other way in my view. So yes, speaking of parts, there are so many different ones! Hearing this again was extra fun also because I would remember the main "point" / mantra of the song ("all I do now... is dick around") but not much else, then be reminded of another notable but very different part, then listen after this whole time properly on pretty much repeat now and be aware of those other little touches and bits that bring it all together...

So, let's start with the pleasant vocals & piano break near the beginning, it's, well... I just really like it (I hope I'll be able to say more specific things about other elements in these songs that I think need to be mentioned as I go on LOL), and right after that we have some very nice strings, then, suspenseful strings!! Idk why but I really really like it when those come in, they really set the unnerving classical tone that follows and returns throughout the album, then the same "calm" / bouncy vocal melody and a more "all over the place" piano returns (at least from what I remember, the notes are sort of more expansive in range in this part I think...). And soon enough... we reach the real moment of the song when it gets, well, real. And very intense. And this is almost jumpscare-like, ohhhh it's so good, even when you know you can expect it it still hits the spot amazingly.

So this is the rocking part that's honestly pure distilled joy and amazement to hear for me each time, the repeated echoey "hey hey"s for a second there are just the icing on the cake, so so so good. And, in fact, it doesn't get more rocking than this for the rest of the album. Dissappointing? Maybe it WOULD be, if there weren't other things still going on later, which were also in their own ways showstopping, so I think that yeah, those can make up for all that follows not really coming close to this level of unhinged. And this is the right word here I think, unhinged!! Damn, this freaking song. Like for a second there I remembered that in one of my early-ish hearings I just found it almost uhhh, unbearably raw? Idk if it's the right word but yeah, it gets... ugly for a second (I need to stop cringing at every more unusual / to the point word I use or I won't be able to write any genuine reviews in my life). Before going back to the main mantra of course! And then it goes on in a circle a bit more again, with more changes and some progression of the story and all that. And end on the mantra again. I don't know if I'm leaving out any super important bits here, I might be... Well, it comes back to full on rocking near the end too, with some variation too, so that's awesome! And very suspenseful and unnerving strings too for a moment!

So, should I talk about the lyrics / the story just a bit now? Ok, I won't go super deep into these or any of the following ones, I'll try to focus more on specific bits and the feelings that come with them and a general "theme" if anything. So, I think this song and its story is very engaging and I like it a lot and it certainly provokes further thoughts and ponderings, those 6 and a half minutes fly by super fast (guess that's just the power with sparks and their long songs, it's kind of incredible how maybe this goes ESPECIALLY for songs that rely a LOT on repetition, because those might work this trend the best), lots of variation, while still keeping some prominently repetitive / reoccurring parts balances it very well. You're really just thrown from one part to the next with this song. Ok, I wrote a lot about just one song and I feel like there's still more I could say if I thought about it hard, but let's move on now, we don't have all day (night)...

2) Perfume ▪︎

This is a favourite. An instant favourite. Right away this song grabbed me with its subdued, brooding and honestly pretty dark tone and sound. Low vocals, kind of ragged but driving guitar sound, and the DRUMS. They do SO much for this track, something about this specific drum pattern / style is very pleasant to me, very atmospheric. It's like a specific pattern that works to deliver some kind of effect (ok, I think through that, in a way, I just described the whole thing with repetition in sparks' music, especially in this era, nice, I guess that's how I view it and why it works so well) there's still a lot of interesting stuff going on there, plus it just sounds nice, idk. Once again, maybe "driving" is a good word for it. But now I need to mention that there is this one odd-one-out part that sounds much more cheerful, or maybe hopeful (and it returns again near the end). Because it has this specific thing, the different intonation of the SAME lyrics than the rest of the song ("and that's why...") feels strangely emotional. It certainly hit ME in the feels once I noticed it, so, yeah!!

So I think this is one of the darkest songs in mood and sound, while it also has something extremely COOL about its sound that I can't really categorize, I think I'm gonna feel like repeating this for every other song on the album but it just feels so CLASSIC, it's that typical song that always existed type of feel, yeah. But here it's less so due the melody necessarily, and more due to the whole picture. With some others it's also the song as a whole of course but they don't necessarily feel as much as a representation of a whole THING / genre / type of song / feeling in music of sorts (I'm really bad at articulating my exact views on these, am I not...) rather than those specific special moments that just bring it all to the next level. But OHHH I can't believe I almost forgot this, but the piano lines (I mean the post-chorus ones specifically) in this song, oh my goddddd!!!!!!! They're truly THE thing that sold me on this song completely, they're just so... something. So I guess this song also has that special "it" moment after all, doesn't it? Well, still possibly not quite as prominently as the next one, because...

3) The Very Next Fight ▪︎

Well, this is the kind of song that's completely made up of those specific parts making a very special whole. Starting with, of course, that melody line during the chorus "it's always the same. It's always the same". But maybe, just to be fair, I should actually start with where the song actually starts so, well, hmmm, the beginning. The very solemn piano and overall kind of heavy atmopshere here kind of slows down the momentum after the first two songs, and it delivers something quite different instead. So yeah, well, that chorus melody!! Oh wow!!! Isn't it so simple though? But it works so well!! It's simply beautiful honestly. It absolutely is! And later the electric guitar comes in for more effect and oh wow, it feels so incredible, yeah. And then some more solemnity with the... I think harpsichord?

This track feels very empty (as in the atmosphere, I'm not actually calling it empty as a bad thing or something like that, no no no!!) in some parts, then it has those emotionally charged bits, and let's not forget that it has some more really amazing guitarwork near the end. That kind of guitar "wailing" sounds beautiful in its own right too, it also kind of reminds me of some other rock-adjacent genre(s), I can't tell what exactly though...

4) (Baby, Baby) Can I Invade Your Country ▪︎

In all honesty, after my first listen I decided that this was probably the song I was the least impressed by? Kinda strange, yeah, because I no longer think that, and yeah, it was another one that I was only slightly familiar with already. Very slightly. It's a very interesting song once again, I think it's really unique after some thought actually (as are most all of the songs on this record tbh, obviously). It's unique, but it once again has this special classic quality to it that just feels like it represents a very specific type of sound.

I wanna say that the chord progression in the chorus might be some variation of one of the "usual" progressions although OF COURSE I might be very wrong here, it's just the feeling I get because maybe it's worth mentioning that 1) a while ago I started noticing this one type of progression in songs that made them sound very similar to Kiss Me, Son of God (They Might Be Giants song), so I figured it must mean that KMSOG is just in some kind of typical progression that is used a lot, especially in country-sounding songs from my experience 2) there was also an element of some classic rock / rock&roll (?) / punk (??) songs that also made them sound very alike after a while when I started listening to this one internet radio station recently, idk if it's the same progression or its variation or if all those songs use different variations mostly but are still based on a very similar thing at the end of the day, but yeah. I might still not understand chords or be able to catch them while listening, but there's now at least a little part of that whole section of music theory that I might be able to recognise in music just by myself, so that's some major music literacy development on my part I think... Anyway, maybe the progression in this song didn't even remind me of that usual pattern specifically, but it just made me think of that thing nevertheless, maybe it's similar, maybe it's not... So this was kind of an irrelevant tangent on my part, oops.

So ok, let's get to the jist of this... What exactly I like about this song and such, or just what I wanna mention. Well, I wanna mention that this is probably one of the more repetitive songs, also one of the longest I think, maybe the third longest, I wouldn't be surprised by that (the opener and closer are both pretty tough competition in the length department) but it doesn't feel monotonous, it flies by super fast, once again.

I think it's also possibly the brightest sounding song on the record, the word that immediately sprung to mind here is "triumphant". Certainly fitting with all those awesome horns!! They're truly what really sets this song apart. I'm especially a fan of the horns in the bridge part, I think it's the bridge. Sooo so cool sounding, kind of "descending". I also really like the layering of the different vocals and their melodies and such, the acoustic guitar also brings it all soooo nicely together, it's so pleasant sounding, especially in the quieter "baby, let's invade" part.

Idk what else to say, very awesome song though and I definitely don't mind listening to it twice (with the repeat as a bonus track, which I'll also get to briefly at the end) at all, in fact this might be the least "intrusive" song in a sense, so that makes the best choice for a repeat, if I had to choose, I could see myself going with this one, it's just very pleasant all around.

5) Rock, Rock, Rock ▪︎

So things get real once again, huh. This is one of the songs that I count in the category of kind of sick and twisted but in a way where I only respect them more for making it, so that puts it right next to, hmmmm, sherlock holmes for sure, maybe some others I can't think of right now. Big part of that factor is surely played by the repetition which just works, well, very well. Specifically the choruses.

One part of this song I was pleasantly reminded of on my first few listens were the short strings interludes, they really give it some of that pleasant classical feel (a separate thing from what i describe as classic feel here!) that I could say kind of contrast with the song and its atmosphere in general. Or maybe spruce it up, idk, we do have very dramatic strings during the verses too... The very deep drum sound is also pretty prominent in this track I think, pretty great.

As to some more notable parts in the vocals department... Let's just say that the way Russell says some words is very, uhhhhhh, effective (i think this sounds more cursed than it should, but i mean exactly that, the delivery just really hits you... and other times it's kind of silly instead). And also, with that repetition and it creating something great in mind, there's the repeated "and since you put-" part near the end that's also really great. The repeated "I"s in the bridge I think also need a mention. It's like they know exactly what word / phrase to repeat, what amount of times, and in which part of the song for it to work the best, like the perfect placement and number.

I think this song also has a bit of a fake ending, so that's also something of note, especially when it's supposed to sound as dramatic as possible (at least that's the idea I get from it). And actually, oh, so does the previous song! I forgot that part even though it's even more noticeable / memorable in that song than it is here imo.

6) Metaphor •

Second half of the album starts off with something that's very elegant and all the while very pleasant and melodic, all of which makes it a very nice track, even in a more usual pop song sense. Some very cool piano to start things off, and the electric guitar accompaniment, which also enters pretty early on. And then we have that slightly more strange part, kind of like an early bridge, that honestly has a bit of a comical effect imo (with no disrespect intended!!)? As in, I find it kind of funny and silly personally. Yeah, the "who's up for a metaphor" part, especially when we get the repeated "don't don't"s and "we we"s, and, well, what follows is what's definitely the greatest part(s) of the song, when Russell enters his falsetto mode and we get the "aaaaa-ªªªªª..." etc. backup vocals in choruses. Those are the moments of the song that are just, well, ONCE again that classic factor that makes the melody & everything else super special. But more specifically, I think those parts are just kind of beautiful. Yeah, I'd say this song is the prettiest in sound that this album gets overall. Truly wonderful and gets you excited for the remaining songs.

Meanwhile, the spellings of dig as d-i-g might feel kind of random I guess? But it works. Adds variety or whatever (note: it's also a very good moment of a rhythm change I believe, I think now that's what makes it sound as cool and satisfying as it does). So yeah, kind of a heavenly song I think, in a sense, also one of my top faves just for that factor (note: this song is now probably my favourite on HYL, and also among my top fav Sparks songs overall. It wasn't instant, but it grew on me quickly and oh man, I truly love this song so much now)

7) Waterproof •

I think this is kind of an odd-one-out actually? And why? I think it's probably the closest on the album to being sort of a fully, or at least MOSTLY, "normal" song. It doesn't have so many parts that are just downright weird and unexpected I'd say, it's just kind of friendly instead compared to the other ones (note: it took me perhaps too long to realize that this song just doesn't have quite as much repetition, which most other songs here rely on heavily, so that's definitely what makes it stand out the most). Not that it's an entirely bad thing! Sometimes you gotta slow down and relax a bit I guess...

I do appreciate the kind of sudden switch with the "the sky is starting to cloud up" part, and the little orchestral bit right after the first time the aforementioned switch happens (the second? or generally some later time it happens again there are also some very awesome horns! Really starts feeling like a quaint rainy street in some french town or something...) when, well, I was going to say that the vocals and the strings do the same melody, but they actually don't, at least not fully, still though, I did have that illusion before I made sure it wasn't the case with another relisten, either way, when it DOES happen, and Sparks do that a whole lot I feel like, it's always quite awesome, I mean, syncing the vocal melody with some other prominent intrument's melody...

The I think harpsichord also makes a return, yay! And then there's the guitar part, that does have some real surprise factor when it comes in, but this time for sort of the opposite reason - it sounds bright and nice this time around, and also it reminds me of Sparks' later style tbh, specifically in their following more rock-centric songs of course. And I think that's very nice, we see the always progressing evolution of their sound here I think. That guitar bit also has some album closer vibes, that kind of fake closer (or nearly-closer) situation kind of reminds me of a similar thing I experienced with Bon Voyage on Propaganda for example (note: I have since learned that Bon Voyage IS the closer on Propaganda, and the following two songs on streaming are just b-sides. So it makes sense that it would sound like an album closer because it IS one).

Annnddd the last thing that I just can't forget about here is Russell's another epic falsetto moment (waterwatereverywherebutnotadroponme!~) that part actually makes me smile. Yeah. Legit. I paid attention and I did smile on that part during my relisten today. ... Ok, let's go on.

8) Here Kitty •

When this song came on the first time during my vinyl listening I of course instantly knew exactly which song it was (bcs I've heard the title before, and a few words on it too) and had this little amused "oh no" moment. And, well, turns out this song is actually very awesome and veeeery interesting! It adds something really unique to the album. I saw someone call it quite impressive in the vocals / vocal lines layering department recently (in the last week, so already after hearing it myself I'm pretty sure) and I absolutely agree.

First off, let's settle that - this is a very strange song. But that's exactly what makes it so good of course. The strangeness keeps you so distracted from this fact, that when we reach the bridge of the song you suddenly realize that beneath all the "tatata"s, meows and unsettling rising piano notes we have the very much usual song structure with verses and choruses. Yeah, I think I actually sort of figured it out, what might be the verse, and what might be the chorus... Speaking of which, the parts that I identified as choruses have this, well, it's the same thing all over again (but each time the specialness comes from a different place and is totally different of course), but that very classic feel, indicative of maybe even some specific genre but idk what exactly...

Besides that, well, maybe let's go back to my oh no moment for a minute, and let me say that I either am very illiterate in that sense (and yeah I am tbh) or the lyrics aren't as overtly, let's say, innuendo-filled? as I expected. They actually have a semblance of a story you know... I mean, NO, not even a semblance, it IS a story! Let me also say that this is a very interesting song to have stuck in your head a lot over the course of pretty much an entire week. Yes, it got to the point where it could be annoying. One last bit of the song I really like is at the very end, when one vocal line starts to sound kind of echoey / distant, nice touch.

9) There's No Such Thing as Aliens •

The song that first cemented itself as being by far the shortest song on the album, sort of an interlude before the incoming epicness of the last one (that was quite literally my very first impression before I even heard either, looking at the vinyl this one was visibly much shorter than the last, and of course I expected the last one to be fittingly grand, and so it was obviously, but we'll get to that in a minute). The funny thing is, it's not even that short, as I figured even before eventually making sure how long it was in fact, and that's almost 3 minutes, which, well, of course that's still something around well over two times shorter than the last song.

But enough about its length, this song actually does kind of work as an interlude thematically too, which it is? it sort of even feels like it doesn't quite fit with the themes of the other ones, I mean, maybe not that it doesn't fit but just that it's defintely the furthest removed from the much more similar topics of the other ones (more about that also later!). Plus it's pretty sparse lyrically, once again, there's less you can fit in under 3 minutes anyway. Which supports the interlude argument also I believe.

Anyway, the music. First of all, waltz time!! Always a treat in sparksland to have that rare spooky 3/4 time track. The feeling I get from this track is: grand, very orchestral, anddd, hmmmm, elegant. But is it more elegant than the rest of the album... Idk, I wanted to use 3 different descriptors. I honestly don't think there's much more to say about this one, it's great, the melody is really great, the grandiosity of the choruses, the even more notable waltz time during verses. I think that yeah, I could pick this track as the most orchestral / classical inspired of the album. One cool moment I'll mention though would be the very ending, with the repeated "no"s going for longer than you'd expect them to maybe, and the deep drum accompanying all that. Very grand ending.

10) As I Sit Down to Play the Organ at the Notre Dame Cathedral •

Well, how do I even start on this one. I think I can say that with literally each single listen I become more and more in awe of this song. Could I even call it even more of a journey than the opener? In a sense, yeah. There's so much going on here. So much that I almost feel like breaking it down into individual parts and giving all of them their due because they all work for the amazingness of the whole. In fact, I might even already have this track roughly memorized (all... 7 minutes of this track) so it could be done. But ok, I'll just go with each part as I remember it, we'll see if I in fact do go over nearly all or all of them.

So. Echoey synth (?) intro, then the first melody part, with the individual words repeated, kind of "urgent" vocals part, very nice rhythm and something I just find very cool. As it progresses we get another part of just the synth / electric guitar-like synth / guitar or whatever this thing is, then a mix of both + this clicky instrument and / OR is it the harpsichord again? Giving it all more urgency and a nice constant rhythm. I also really like when the "byebyebye" vocal gets looped before the synth reenters. Overall, this part of the song has a very electronic, drony feel that I greatly enjoy and find very atmospheric and immersive already.

But, well, it doesn't end here. Because later, everything else stops and we hear a church organ. Even the melody it enters with is very much like something you'd hear in a cathedral, indeed! Good environmental storytelling, isn't it? But then... the organ transitions into this very very cool frantic melody (and by very very cool I mean that it's probably the #1 thing that stood out to me about this song right from the start) which returns consistently throughout the song and is just oh so very awesome.

So we enter the next part, what could probably be called the central part "as I sit down to play the organ...", tension is rising, the organ is doing its thing in the back, then some "hallelujah"s and BOOM! The chorus? The "I've got faith" part of course. And with it some epic strings, and I don't think I can really say what exactly it is about this part that makes it SO FREAKING GOOD & ABSOLUTELY SHOWSTOPPING but it's easily in my top 3 moments on the album at least. Then it's followed by the slightly considerably calmer "she's here..." section and we go mostly full circle for now, more variations on the same parts. Some grandiose "lalala"s & epic drum action too. And then, the "I believe" sections which I cannot let myself neglect, mostly just on the basis of them being kind of sickening to me. You know, in the "why did they do this (said respectfully)" way.

Ok, did I really just talk about all of the individual parts, I guess so. But before I move on I have to mention the moment when the very first major part, the "bye-bye-bye my baby" part, makes a sudden comeback. It's honestly just so good and satisfying, when completely different sections switch and make unexpected (or maybe you actually DO expect them on some subconscious level, and that's what makes them work so well??) returns like this, if a song has that it's very likely it will become a top top favourite or at least have a very big effect on me. Or even HUGE effect, like here.

So yeah, the song does eventually end (I mean technically unbelievable somewhat, since it's so long, but have I actually mentioned yet that this track goes by about just as fast as the first one, because it sure does, you do not notice the time passing WHATSOEVER) on some more "hallelujah"s. And the album's over. Wooo boy.

Bonus tracks

Well, it's not really over yet if it's not the vinyl but the streaming version. We still have just two more bonus tracks, technically just one? So I'll go over both quickly now for completion's sake.

First we have "We Are the Clash" which is a pleasant song for sure, can work as kind of a denouement after the crazy journey of the previous track, so you're left on a little less of a mood unresolution and can become a little less unsettled after all of this going down... Idk.

But yeah, I actually have this impression veering on pretty strong conviction that this song is a cover actually. It could even be a cover of the band whose name is mentioned in the song, which would put this version in a extremely funny area of how far stylistically it might be from the hypothetical original, if it exists (what's up with all these bands and their "we are the [band name]" songs, there's so many). Of course I could also be very wrong about this so all I just wrote could turn out to be absolutely hilariously off target, still, a fun little attempt at guessing things and connecting ideas on my part, whatever the truth turns out to be (I will learn the truth... in due time. My experience tells me that when I'm still fully in initial unwell mode over an album it's difficult for me to read and retain any outside information / commentary on it. So no need to rush it, heh) (note: yeah I was right for once. I meannnn I guess it was obvious anyway but still, let me have this, I've been fooled by assuming that a cover was someone's original song way too many times so I'm happy to not be fooled for once).

So ok, the last last track. Baby baby can i invade your country is baaaaaack, not much to say but it's pretty much the same other than the lyrics, since well, it is the "alternate lyrics" version, not "alternate" version. I do think that it might be slightly longer than the final version though but it's also likely I'm misremembering.

Anyway, lyrics, all I can or feel the need to say is that they seem to be definitely way more to the point on what this song's actual topic is (not... invading... countries . I don't need to explain it here do I) so subtlety win for the final one I guess. Just so it is known, I have not read these two songs' lyrics unlike all the main album tracks'. But I think I caught enough to get the main idea from both, you know. I do think also that the final version's lyrics just kind of sound better, idk if it's the rhythm of the words or what but they do just have a nicer flow. So, improvement, probably, still very nice to know this version anyway of course. (note: yeah i have learned since that most of the final lyrics are the US national anthem. Makes sense that if any song were to have alternate lyrics it would be this one)

To round it all up...

I think there's still a lot that can be said about this album as a whole but how do I go about that. Well, I did mention earlier that I'd come back to a) the overall feel / atmosphere here b) the themes / stories and how they connect. So those shall work as a guide to my conclusions part of this whole review.

First off, I could even say a bit about the main vibe / sound here in reference to Lil' Beethoven! Since it really does work as a sequel, at least in sound, by all means. I described LB with stuff like... cold, distant, cathedral-like, what else was there.... Ok, I have more, lifted directly from my LB write-up. (note: finally listening to LB a month prior to this was enough of a big deal for me that I wrote down my live reactions to hearing the songs) Impersonal / detached. Alien. Spacious.

Do those apply here too? I think so, yeah! Pretty much all of these words also feel like pretty good descriptors here. But honestly, the more I think about it.... Maybe it's just that the distance / the detachedness and alienated feeling is a bit lower here? Or at least in some songs more than the others. It's hard to explain honestly.... That similar atmosphere continues here but it's just..... not as pronounced maybe. Idk, maybe it will become clearer with this next point I wanna make which is that LB actually is less, uhhh friendly in sound. Less accessible! Yeah, I do think that this album could be seen as: LB started the experiment, HYL perfected it by taking it in a slightly more accessible direction. Or is perfected a wrong word here, who can say which was, or should be considered the better outcome here.... I think I actually have a problem putting concepts into the right words today. But maybe at least some of my feelings about this can still come across here...

So yeah, I don't think it's possible to tell if HYL is better or LB, it also depends on how you look at it! As it kind of always does when judging stuff per good / better. One thing that I can say sort of for sure though is that LB certainly started ideas / techniques that HYL expanded on and toyed with further, so in that sense, it could be considered an improvement. And so it is clear, I don't think I can say 100% that I like one more than the other. It's not that simple. I guess you could however say that HYL was more of an instant hitter and LB really just grows and grows more in power overtime....

So yeah, they kind of did take the LB concept and all of the avant-garde, experimentation factors that come with it, and made it more accessible, which is a form of art and an achievement and a testament of skill in itself. I think the somewhat friendlier, more palatable approach of this album also lifts off the coldness aspect a bit, but it's still there, especially on tracks 1, 3, 5, 10, off the top of my head.....

But maybe I should talk more about the album and its sound as it stands on its own before I move on though. Maybe we could jump from the words I already used: classic, orchestral, brooding, dramatic, dark, aggressive (yes, I somehow see it as friendlier than its predecessor despite also being much more aggresive in all senses. Raw even. How does that work? I can't tell you today. And idk if I'll ever figure it out. And also personal, YES, that's the word, this album feels soooo very personal and emotive. Not in the sense that I'm trying to say that it must be personal to them, more like it just shows some very personal feelings and struggles), triumphant (but that goes only for that one song really), driving, ELEGANT. I think the word elegant is the key here. In all of its subtler or less subtle tone shifts it keeps that very elegant, kind of graceful feel, all throughout. Even when it seems to be touching subjects that wouldn't necessarily bring that kind of atmosphere to mind, it kind of elevates them and gives them, idk, a new meaning?

So is this a good segue into the topic of themes? I guess the album name sits well with what I think is going on here, because my main impression of the whole thing was something like.... stories of fucked-up guys with self-image problems / feelings of inadequacy, which they try to go around fully convinced that they're right (and their messy love-lives too ofc). Or are they just, normal, regular guys actually. Who can tell. It certainly gives you an idea / a whole concept to work with and ponder here and to connect and visualize kinda.

I think that yeah, out of what I've heard so far this has to be the most thematically-consistent sparks album there is. It comes to a point where all the songs give this little impression of a whole universe where all of this takes place, and while I've had these kind of impressions from albums that are way more all-over-the-place conceptually with their lyrics (I mean like.... pretty much every They Might Be Giants album. You can create this sort of illusion with more than words, the music and its atmosphere and often also its stylistic consistency might be even more important actually), this comes, in my mind, almost close to concept album levels in that regard.

The definition of a concept album probably calls for something more specific than all the tracks being in sort of a similar theme but you know.... I don't think it really happens most of the time in music in general, that the whole album has this sort of a familiar idea / spirit throughout that makes a unique whole. (note: apparently wikipedia calls this album a concept album. Another win for me in that case, lol). You could probably try to connect different songs' themes and work with that in some way.... Which is something I already did in all honesty, but actually it's a between albums thing here, because I do believe that the dick around guy could be the same guy that the narrator from ugly guys with beautiful girls talks about. Similar ideas you can connect! That's what I'm talking about. I love it when songs tell overarching stories.... Make me think about characters from songs or little universes and vibes created by even the vaguest of lyrics and the ideas those create and the imaginings they bring, any day.

Ok, what else can I say. I think I mostly covered everything I could actually. Should I say something more about the cover with the added context now. I already said that it gives off a "something's wrong" feeling, but I think it's also compelling in how it conveys that elegant, non-threatening and polished image, sterile kinda. Well, I think only one of those four words I just chose doesn't really apply to most of this album's songs. I mean non-threatening ofc. Hmmm, maybe sterile doesn't really work here either, besides those prominent examples of the coldness of sound on this album, it would actually go more with LB, which also has a fittingly minimalist, all-white cover. Collected and orderly to a distressing degree. Just like here, it also gives off some.... distressing vibe. As I already said with the "this isn't right" feel.

What else can I say. In reviews you usually give your opinions, which I very much did throughout this thing here, everything like this is always somewhat subjective I think, but even then, a final verdict could also be said here. I think it's pretty damn clear by now what my opinion on this album is. I wouldn't spend several days writing a review and analysing every little detail if I didn't have a very strong (positive) opinion on this album (I guess I technically can imagine writing a very throughout review of something that just annoys you so much that you simply have to go through everything wrong with it and have some relief and closure through that. I can't see myself doing that kinda thing however, I'm not that kind of hater (or really a hater at all lol, i hope), I'd rather devote my time to things that I find actually cool and awesome and stand-outs in a positive sense, and worthy of attention and that dedication).

So this comment I fittingly found on tumblr over the last few days feels pretty relevant towards my opinion of writing "reviews" of stuff (this was more of a, very detailed analysis I know, but review just kind of fits, especially with how people call their recaps / commentary / writeups of concerts "reviews" a lot of the time):

(note: yeah I think I should come clean here that despite my very recent start of actual social media participation I've already been a serial lurker in various places for years now, lol, I mean, that's probably a normal thing to do though, I hope. I mean, probably lots of people do or did that at some point, but still. And I don't know whose post this is anymore sadly. But I thought I'd keep it here because it's a good summary)

And also, just for the record, this is my opinion on HYL pretty much. Yaaaayyy i loved it i had so much fun!! For real. i'm glad they're creating something!!!! Absolutely. One of a kind album that I will cherish as yet another great and unforgettable entry on the list of albums that changed me (TM) and brought me lots of fun and great memories / associations, even in such a short time. And the actual FIRST on the new list of albums that I'm happy to have brough the utmost attention to and dissected like that. It's out of love.

Thank you for reading this far! Here's a little bunny as a prize!

Whoa whoops this gif was supposed to be small! Have a huge bunny in that case, you deserve it! 🐇

[crossbackpoke-check]

blessed be (lorscher bienensegen) | telling the bees (wiþ ymbe)

Telling the bees [1] [2 - Colleen English] [3 - C. W. Hagge] // "Letter to Someone Living Fifty Years from Now" [remixed, abridged], Matthew Olzmann // "About Suffering" [remixed, abridged], Elisa Gabbert // "Bees, Honeycombs, Honey", Hayan Charara // [Albert Camus] in "A Time of Bees", Mona Van Duyn | Len Redkoles, Steve Caplan, Bruce Bennett, Andre Ringuette, Emilee Chen

[mer-se]

/falling back in love with film.

[slumbergoblin]

Copying and pasting a thing I wrote in notepad: Ages: Shortly before Betrayus's disappearance/Present day in story (year born in our years) (heights)

*= OC

Kids Pac: was 3, is currently 14 (2008) (160cm, 5'3") Cylindria: was 4, is currently 15 (2007) (165cm, 5'5") Spiral: was 6, is currently 17 (2005) (180cm, 5'11") Skeebo: was 5, is currently 16 (2006) (173cm, 5'8") Elliptica: was 5, is currently 16 (2006) (175cm, 5'9")

Adults Betrayus: was 39, is currently 50 (1972) (187cm, 6'1") Stratos: was 43, is currently 54 (1968) (218cm, 7'2") *Oscar: was 41, is currently 52 (1970) (167cm, 5'6") *Mei: was 41, is currently 52 (1970) (154cm, 5'1") Zac: was 33, is currently 44 (1978) (175cm, 5'7") Sunny: was 33, is currently 44 (1978) (165cm, 5'4") Spheria: was 48, is currently 59 (1963) (184cm, 6'0") Sir C.: was 59, is currently 70 (1952) (162cm, 5'3")

(adults years apart) Betrayus and Stratos are 4 years apart Oscar and Mei are a couple of months apart Betrayus, Mei, and Oscar are 2 years apart Stratos, Mei, and Oscar are 2 years apart Zac and Sunny are a couple of months apart Betrayus, Zac, and Sunny are 6 years apart Stratos, Zac, and Sunny are 10 years apart Oscar, Mei, Zac, and Sunny are 8 years apart Zac, Sunny, and Spheria are 15 years apart Spheria and Sir C. are 11 years apart Spheria and Stratos are 5 years apart Spheria and Betrayus are 9 years apart Stratos and Sir C. are 16 years apart

[royalarchivist]

Pac: I'm not going to say anything to you guys [Chat], I'm not going to say anything to you. I'm not saying absolutely anything, I'm not going to comment. Man, you broke me here, you broke me in 3 parts! I'm not going to- no no no no no, I won't fall for your game, I won't fall for your game.*

Pac's chat allows viewers to make music requests, which led to this very well-timed moment today where Careless Whisper started playing as soon as Pac met back up with Fit.

* [Approximate translation. I'm not a native Portuguese speaker, so as always, please feel free to let me know if there's a better way to translate things!]

[after-nine-at-the-oasis]

AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH THEY'RE DANCINGGGG :'DDDD

STOPPPP THEY'RE SO SWEEEET 😭😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️

Everyone looks so sweet and happy :')))

Awww hi Judd <33

It's okay honey, it's rough :'((

Yeahh honey I know, that's rough 😭😭❤️🥺

Exactly, you don't know anything yet <3

Grace is so perfect, and great at getting him back in it and keeping him grounded <33 I love her and him and them so much <3333

Yeah lol, calm down a bit on the towel business Judd xD

Just dance :'))

His suit is still very iconic btw

And Grace's hair is beautiful 🥰

Awww hey y'all :D

Lol, sillies 🥰🥰

Nope he means wedding :OO

OOP DANG O.O

YEP LOL

The way he said it was very blunt xD like the tone

Awww spin :'))

Oop?

LOL

Do it guys lol, go for it xD!

(tossing a bouquet)

Awww Owen :'(( :')

Ahhh, looking at TK and Carlos but then to Robert and his wife as well, and their daughters :'))

Awww <3

Lol :')

Earlier I saw her and was like huh xD oh right they're kinda dating lol

Aww glad she's checking up on him ,|

LOL YMCA XDDD

Realll though my at dances xD

Gotta save it for the line dances, and take breaks during the slow dances lol

Oh of course, no other way to do it xD well there is but yk lol

Like landing a plane XDDD

Yeah, they are :'))

Oop o.o

Ohh nooo :'((( ❤️❤️❤️💔😭

It sucks but I do see why :(( 😭 <33

Awww <333

It is a pretty great memory though :'))

AYYY yeah this is a good song for dances :D

I wanna go to a wedding 😌

They seem so fun lol

AWWWW look at them all :'D

LOL Iris and TK :')) twirling around <333 they're gonna be such good besties

That guy int he white suit is eating it up xD

Awww Carlos and Andrea 🥰🥰❤️❤️😭 :')))

Awwww 😭❤️❤️❤️

Awww she's good :'))) that's good <3333 I'm so glad

AAAAHHHHHH yes literally 😭😭❤️🥰👏👏 the best night of his life :'))

Oop :o :D

LOL Paul yelling "TOMMYY" xD

TK joining Carlos 🥰

"By a certain paramedic *TK*" DANG girl did not even hesitate 💀 XDD

Lol his little throwing up of his hand xD :')

AWWW him cuddling Carlos's arm 😭 stoppp I'm not okay, they better be so clingy during and after this (the wedding) x'D

AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH AWWW W H A T 😭😭😭😭😭😭💔🥺🥺🥺🥺❤️❤️❤️❤️

Awwww everyone's faces :'(( :') 😭😭😭😭😭😭🥺🥺🥺💔❤️

"This is from your husband" AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH :'DDDD 😭😭😭😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️🥰🥰🥰🥺🥺🥺

GUYS THEY'RE ACTUALLY MARRIED :')))

:OOOO B E I N G A L I V E????!!?!?

. . . this song was on glee-

XDD that's just a thing I say lol

But I also distinctly remember thinking that, if not in the humourous way I tend to say it, when I first saw this lol

Anyway, back to pretending I haven't seen it xD

Awww TK already looking so emotional 😭

GOSH this song is so perfect for them <333

And they DESERVED such a dramatic and beautiful song honestly <3333

Tarlos, but everyone and the whole show, really <333.

:'OO! Tommy's voice is BEAUTIFUL by the way <333

Eat that UPPP girl :'))

:'o Awww taking them to the airport :')) :'(

That pervasive sadness in Owen :'(( it's rough <3

That kiss, and the hug with his girls, is emotional and they don't even know why 😭😭💔❤️🥺 <333

This is gonna hurt them, even if he believes he's sparing them from whatever xd it will be a different kind

Awww look at them all :')))

Nancy and Mateo <3333 so cute

Awww Paul and Asha :'DDD they're so beautiful <333

Also Carlos's sisters and their husbands (who don't get seats or faces lol /lh), it must be so sweet for them to see :')) like Carlos getting married I mean

AAHHHH my boysss 😭😭 <333

Clinging to each other :')) 😭🥺❤️

AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH THEIR HONEYMOONNNN :'DDDD

THEY'RE ON THEIR HONEYMOON Y'ALL 😭😭😭😭🥺🥺❤️❤️🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰!!!! FINALLYYYY!!!

YOU DON'T EVEN UNDERSTAND :'DDDD 😭😭😭😭❤️🥰🥰🥰🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥰🥰!!! THEY FINALLY MADE IT X'D :'DDD!!! WHOOOO YEAHH YAYY :'DD :'))

They're so cute 😭😭😭❤️ <333

I love them so much 🥰

Happy for them :'))

AWWW putting Charlie next to Wyatt :'))

Lol and they both have their blocks <33

Ahh but see the TV as a compromise :'))

Maybe not on purpose meaning that but TK me <33

Robert's family <333

And tarlos still clinging to each other :'))

And Marjan and her man (Yusuf is it? I believe :'D) :')) <333 adorableee

And Owen :')) ❤️

Tommy is EATINGGG this by the way ❤️😭😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️🥺💔🥰

Such a good song <33

It would be Gwyn's favorite :')) she has good taste <33

AWWW them 😭😭🥺💔

Gosh :'((( :')

Yeah, at least they got to know each other a bit <3333

It is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all <3

Yeah, definitely not ready xdd

"Big brother" :'(( no one should have to bury their younger sibling

It just sucks :'(( D':

AWWW themmm :')) 🥺

Holding Andrea's hand 😭😭😭🥺❤️💔

And TK and Carlos are in it together <333 even if Carlos is the one holding her hand :') they both mean it <3

Awwww Tommy looking at Trevor :'D

Tommy's so beautiful :'))

It's rough but I'm so glad they're all happy <333

As happy as they can be in this life :')))

AWW AAHH AYYYY Wyatt stacking blocks :'DDD good for him <333

It also probably helps that they have a little more of a purpose, being with Charlie :'))

Awww they look so happy 🥰🥰 they are :'D I'm so happy for him and them <333

Oh no 😭😭💔 :'((

Gosh <333

Goodbye, Robert :'((

TK'S TEARS 😭😭🥺❤️❤️❤️

Owen taking the mask off 😭😭 :'(

Tommy you absolutely ate that up :'))) she did such an amazing job <333

Especially as TK's second mother 😭😭😭😭🥺🥺❤️❤️❤️❤️🥰

Awww :'))

Thank you Tommy <33

Oof :(

That's just so rough

I'm so sorry Owen <333

And for his family :'(((

Goodbye, Robert ❤️

The sun coming up :'((

And the silence 😭😭😭

Gosh that's awful

So poignant

OUAGH AND ENDING WITH CALLING 9-1-1

GOSH THAT WAS PERFECT 😭😭😭😭😭🥺🥺🥺💔💔💔❤️❤️🥰

Such an amazing end to the season <333

Typed series for a second there lol

But because I was thinking, even though I would want so much more and I'm glad we get at least a bit more, this would be a really amazing ending to the series <333

It's just dramatic and beautiful and emotional enough that it'll be hard to top, and is an iconic moment of the series :') xD

But I'm sure they will <3

Wow. I'm so glad I did this.

It's such an amazing and beautiful episode <333

I'm so glad they're married :'))

And I'm so glad that, in the end, everyone ended up kind of okay :'))

Not perfect, not really even okay, but happy in this crazy world we and they live in

And that's enough :'))

I'm so happy for them <33

And I'm so especially happy for TK and Carlos :'DDD 🥰🥰🥰🥰❤️

HAPPY 0TH/1ST ANNIVERSARY BOYS 🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥰🥰🥰❤️❤️❤️ :'DDD X'D

Gosh I love them so much :')))

They finally did it <33 they made it :')

All roads lead to the wedding

And they did :')

Hallelujah <3 xD

Thank goodness lol

Gosh

Wow. Amazing

I love this show so much <333.

[ends-of-the-wayward-storm]

A wild sneak peek appears!

TWST has me in its grip again, so I've been thinking about another character of mine who I've had for roughly as long as I've had Mia. Her name is Azura and she's an avian fae, something that I've generally made up and have decided to make use of for TWST.✨✨

I've written a lot of things for her, so I've really been thinking about posting some of those here. This little snippet is from one of my earlier fics that's around a couple years old (give or take) that I never really got around to finish polishing.

So, for context, this takes place after the original Fairy Gala, which is where Azura as well as her friends make their "debut," so to speak. I hope you enjoy, and feel free to ask any questions you may have about them!😊 (Also, please note that this will likely be different from the finalized version of my fic.)

~ ~ ~ ~

It had been a few days since the mutant mandragora incident at the Botanical Garden, and it was still all anyone could talk about. That, and the faes that had been fighting them—including the one that had injured her wing. What more, there was a rumor that those faes had returned to the school. And so, Malleus wondered if she was the injured one or one of her companions. He knew avian fae were native to his homeland, so he had every right to be concerned. And pondering. And pondering some more.

He had asked students about it, but most of those who didn’t run away only mentioned blue wings. He couldn’t be sure that it was her solely based off of that. So he had continued to ask around until he finally had something of use. Despite the student’s stammering, he was told the fae that was injured wielded some form of sword. He remembered seeing one at her hips, but he still harbored doubts—so much so, it became difficult to focus on his studies.

“You’re distracted again.”

“Hmm?” Malleus glanced at Lilia looking at him with his hands on his hips. “I’m not distracted.”

“Thinking about the injured avian fae again?”

“. . . No.”

“You hesitated.” Lilia sighed. “You really should focus on studying. You have two tests coming up that are very important.”

“I’m aware. But as future king of the Valley of Thorns, I have a responsibility to look after my people. Especially if it truly is her that is injured.”

[tommybowefuneralattendee]

can you tease anything about your spommy wip 👀👀