#i'll add the angst tag just so you guys don't @ me

[itwasntimethatdidit40]

Merry Christmas, baby.

Pairing: Marcus Pike x f!reader Rating: just a little tiny bit of smut so still +18 but it’s mostly a huge pile of angst and fluff soooo Words Count: 10669 😵‍💫 Tags: POV second person, reader wears dresses, skirts, blouses and heels, she uses make up, she’s a journalist and a writer, no physical description of her is given besides having hair, angst, fluff, friends to lovers, slow burn, loss of a parent, infidelity, divorce, mention of food, alcohol consumption, both reader and Pike are bad at feelings, swearing, slurs, dirty talk, quarrels, reconciliations, funeral, sharing a bed, kissing, sad thoughts, casual encounters, mention of coffee, mention of spring break activities, geography probably a bit random (but I looked at the maps, don't jump down my throat, I did research and I've actually been to Boston many years ago, I tried my best lol), brief mention of Teresa. I hope I haven't forgotten anything, if so I'll add it immediately. A/N: Written for @pedrostories Secret Santa event, hello @letsgobarbs, I’m your Secret Santa! �� Happy Christmas Eve, I hope you'll have a wonderful holiday season! 🎄 I hope you enjoy this story and I hope you find the angst, yearning and pining you wanted. Among the characters you had indicated as favorites there was Pike and I liked the idea of ​​trying to write him for the first time, he is so sweet and cute and he deserves to be happy, I hope I gave him an ending worthy of him 🥹 I apologize if you find any mistakes, English is not my first language and I don't have a beta so I did it all with just one pair of stupid and tired eyes 😵‍💫

A huge thanks goes to all the lovely people who supported me through the process while I was having a full crisis about everything in this fic 😂 @baronessvonglitter @almostempty @arcanefox207 @joelmillerisapunk I love you all, happy holidays 🥰

1990

“So what do you think?” 

“Um...you're good” You've just heard the ugliest Take on Me cover ever, but you can't tell the guy standing in front of you and looking at you with hopeful eyes. 

Marcus is your best friend, you've known him for a couple of years, since both of you were two dorky freshmen at your new school. You were looking for the literature room and wandering lost in the hallways when Marcus asked if you needed help. You bonded right away because you didn't know anyone else, you had just moved to Sacramento because of your father's job and he was from Texas, so it had seemed natural to lean on each other.

Over time you had become such good friends that he had met your parents, he would often stay for dinner, and your dad would let him use your garage to rehearse with his band. 

Marcus had put up flyers at school and enlisted two other boys, Timmy and Dave, who became the guitarist and keyboardist of Rocket Baby Doll. The name of the band was terrible, they were terrible, but you had never had the courage to tear them down in the face of Marcus's enthusiasm, he was sure that by continuing to rehearse they would make great progress. 

With his smooth talk, Marcus had managed to convince the committee to let them play at the freshmen's Christmas dance.

“You'll see that one day we'll be on the cover of Rolling Stone,” Marcus joked. Or at least you hoped he was joking because otherwise you wouldn't know how to talk him out of it. 

Marcus was a dreamer and he liked to do it big. He wanted to be a musician, or maybe an FBI agent, he told you. Two careers that had nothing to do with each other, but you knew that if anyone could afford to have ambitions it was him. Marcus was tenacious, persistent, dedicated, and never afraid to work hard to get what he wanted.  He certainly wasn't going to end up on the cover of Rolling Stone, but in your heart you were certain he was going to accomplish something important.

He was the kind of boy mothers liked, in fact yours loved him. When you needed math tutoring, he would come to your house totally for free and explain whatever you didn’t understand.

When Molly Preston wanted to exclude you from the winter dance because her ex-boyfriend, Ryder, had asked you out, he had been the one to give her a speech.

When you had a bad day Marcus would take you to get your favorite ice cream, you would talk for hours, and in the end he was the only one who could cheer you up.

Whatever problems you had, Marcus was there for you landing an helping hand. 

You knew your mother not too secretly hoped you would get together but it never happened, Marcus was your friend, just a great friend.

“Come on, my mom made cookies for everyone,” you told him as he continued to fantasize about what you might do. You would be their manager and you would both become rich and famous. He just couldn't keep his feet on the ground, even though he was a very good student and even had better grades than you.

You were 17 years old, your whole lives ahead of you, and you hoped that you will remain friends for many years to come.

_____________________________________________

1993

“What do you mean there is only one room available! We had booked two!” 

Marcus had yelled at the front desk of a motel where you stopped for the night. 

The owner, a rather creepy guy with a long scar on his right cheek, slumps in his shoulders, heedless “If you want number 12 is free, otherwise you can take your asses somewhere else for all I care.”

Marcus was fuming. 

It was spring break, any hotel was totally booked, and the possibilities were already significantly reduced given your pockets. 

You didn't even want to come; you had just broken up with Derek, your college boyfriend, and were back at your parents' house with the intention of spending your vacation there healing your wounds. Vegetating on the couch, reading books, watching movies, just relaxing. That was what you wanted to do. But Marcus had insisted, “Erik, Alice, Kate and Robert are in San Diego, let's join them!” 

You had shaken your head and declined “No way, I've seen enough wild college parties and besides, I'm not really in the mood.” 

“Oh come on, you don't want to spend Spring Break crying over that jerk,” he had said, shrugging and looking at you with his big brown puppy-dog eyes. 

“Marcus, I really don't feel like it.” 

“Come on, please do it for me! You'll see we'll have fun, they're nice!” Surrounding yourself with drunk and stoned 20-year-olds was the least of your desires. 

But on the other hand you felt you couldn't say no to him, it had been months since you had seen each other, your relationships had been reduced to long letters and phone calls telling each other about each other's schools.

You had chosen different colleges, Marcus had been accepted at Berkeley in California and you were at Boston University. You had changed coast, climate, everything. You were content but adjusting the first months had not been easy, you felt homesick and you missed your best friend. You were happy for him, you had known since your senior year that you were going to separate but that hadn't made it easy for you. 

You had only seen each other in person at Thanksgiving.

He had been forced to go to his relatives in Nevada for Christmas.

So you got dragged down to San Diego, because deep down Marcus was right, brooding all vacation about the relationship with Derek would not be good for you. You had had other guys before him but Derek had been special, until you found out he was cheating on you. You cried for hours on the phone with Marcus and he listened to you the whole time so maybe you owed him a little too.

After insisting on getting at least a room refund, Marcus had turned to you displeased “apparently we have no other choice.” 

“We'll adjust” you had smiled, but you couldn't deny that you were a little nervous. 

Once in the room he, too, seemed self-conscious. 

There was a double bed with a hideous floral bedspread in the middle of the room, brownish carpeting on the floor, dingy pictures hanging on the walls, and an old dresser on the opposite side of the bed with a rickety TV on it.

A smell of cheap deodorant with a musty undertone wafted around. It was the worst room you had ever set foot in, but at this point there was nothing you could do but make it okay. Sleeping in the car didn't seem so appealing.

You had set your bags down and looked at each other awkwardly “This room is awful,” Marcus had whispered, rubbing the back of his neck with his hand “I'm sorry, it didn't look that bad from the brochure.” 

“It's not your fault, I bet those pictures were taken at least 20 years ago” you had laughed ”it will do for one night” 

You had retrieved your pajamas from the suitcase and went to the bathroom. The light blue tiles made it look like a hospital, there was an old plastic curtain in the shower and the sink looked like it had been through a war but at least it looked clean. There was a strong smell of disinfectant that made you a little nauseous. You had changed quickly and returned to your room to Marcus who was sitting on the bed intent on calling his parents “Yes mom, everything is fine, we will be back tomorrow. Yes, sure, don't worry I'll definitely say hello to her, she's in her room now” You had noticed that he had not said anything about your misadventure, you had sat down smiling on the opposite side of the bed trying to be silent. 

Marcus had rolled his eyes closing the call “she is so old-fashioned.” 

You had laughed “I find her lovely” 

Marcus had chuckled “we'd better sleep, we have a lot of driving tomorrow. Are you okay with that side?”

“Yes, it’s fine” you had nodded ”however I'd rather get this bedspread out of the way, it gives me nightmares even when awake” 

Marcus had observed it agreeing that yes, it was rather eerie.

You had taken it off and laid it on the dresser before slipping under cold, scratchy and wrinkled sheets.

You looked at each other and burst out laughing, the situation was comical to say the least. “God, I think I won't forget this bed for a long time,” Marcus had said. 

“It feels like being in a burlap sack.” You had laughed.

“Could you not squirm like that?” 

“Sorry, I'm just looking for ways to be comfortable,” you had said, ”Mattress is lumpy.” 

You had laid on your side with your back to him and closed your eyes, trying to sleep. 

“So, did you have a good time?” you had heard Marcus whisper.

“Yes” you had replied “thank you” And it was true, his friends were really nice. You had bonded with the girls and exchanged addresses and phone numbers “you were right, I needed a vacation”

“I know, I'm always right” he had sentenced from the other end of the bed.  

You had turned to look at him "oh sure, like the other night when we ended up at that beach party and you said it was allowed and then we had to run away because the police were coming?”

“It was just a little misjudgment!” He retorted.

You had burst out laughing again “come on, sleep, Mr I know everything”

Marcus had turned off the lamp on the bedside table, next to the phone with which he had just called his mother “Hey...I need to tell you something” you had heard him say. 

“What?” the tone had suddenly changed and you felt confused, you looked over your shoulder at him in the dark. 

“I kissed Alice the other night” he seemed awkward in telling you and you didn't understand why.

“Oh. Well, good for you. She's a lovely girl” he was your friend, you were happy for him. 

If it weren't for the fact that you secretly hoped he would kiss you. You'd been thinking about it for a few days, ever since you'd seen him come out of the water while you were at the beach.

It had seemed to you that everything had started moving in slow motion, your eyes glued to his tanned skin, to his broad shoulders, to the way the water slid over his chest in little droplets that died on the waistband of his swimsuit. It was a feeling you had never experienced before in five years of knowing him. You had never seen Marcus as anything more than a friend, but in that moment, with his hair disheveled, his skin wet, a smile plastered on his face as he told you and the others that ocean was great, he had seemed like a vision, and you had felt your cheeks heat up. 

Where on earth that attraction came from you didn't know, but it had hit you hard and clear, like a bump on the head that had suddenly awakened you. You had convinced yourself that your brain was doing this to protect you from painful memories with Derek, lingering on your closest friend who had never let you down. Your trust in men was at its lowest, and Marcus had always reassured you, kept you out of trouble, and he was most reliable guy you had ever known.

He said he would do something and he always, unfailingly did it. You could not say the same about Derek or any other guy you had ever been with.

You had tried to chase that feeling away, burying it in the corner of your mind for all the following days; you didn't want to ruin the friendship between you, and you were pretty sure he didn't feel the same way about you.

Sure, you thought you kissed him on your 18s birthday while you were drunk, but the next morning you were so ashamed that you hadn't even told him about it, pretended you didn't remember anything and that it had never happened. Marcus had done the same, and everything had ended there. Two years had passed since that night, you had gone to college, you had both had more or less long relationships.

That one kiss was now so far away that you had listed it among “once-in-a-lifetime mistakes.”

"I wanted to tell you, that's it. Friends tell each other everything, right?"

“Yes, of course, you can tell me anything, I’m happy for you” you replied 

You had listened to Marcus talk about the girls he liked dozens of times and you had never cared, you would have certainly forgotten it, it was just a passing crush, you told yourself. That annoyance you felt, that bitter taste in your throat, would disappear after a night's sleep. Your friendship was more important, you wouldn't have ruined it just because your brain had thought it interesting to make it something more.

Yet when you had tried to sleep all you had seen was Marcus kissing Alice. You had not seen them, fortunately, but it was not a hard scene to imagine, and unfortunately it was now implanted in your brain. His strong arms holding her, his soft lips resting on hers, her surrounding his neck with her arms, her pelvis rubbing against his. Suddenly you couldn't stand it. You had narrowed your eyes, cursing your creative mind, grunting in frustration. 

“Hey, is everything okay?” had asked Marcus from the other side of the bed.

You had lied, of course, but you had kept brooding until you fell asleep exhausted by the workings of your brain.

In the morning you had woken up confused, not at all rested, and in his arms.

Your face was resting on his chest next to your hand. How had you ended up there like that? You didn't know. You felt like you didn't know anything anymore. 

He was blissfully asleep. He seemed unaware of anything as your throat was dry, your head ached, and your pussy throbbed. Yes, throbbing, desperately. The warmth of his body, the scent of his skin, that knowledge you felt inside that this was exactly what you wanted and you couldn't even quantify how long you had wanted it.

And the panic that had seized you immediately afterward. You were convinced it was a mistake, the most terrible mistake you could make. So why did it feel so right? Why did his body feel like it was made for you? Oh no, no you couldn't allow that. Certainly he had no idea whatsoever about the situation, there was no way he was aware and let you do it, it was all your fault. 

You were going to ruin everything, your friendship, your relationship with the one man who really seemed to understand and support you. And for what? To fuck him once? It wasn't going to work between you romantically. You were going to have to spend two more years away seeing each other only during the holidays to begin with, and then you were both stubborn, too proud...no, it was wrong, you didn't care what your body told you, you had to let your brain prevail.

You slowly slipped away, back to your side of the bed, practically holding your breath, cursing yourself and your heart that wouldn't stop hammering in the middle of your chest.

He had woken up shortly after, acted as usual, getting up, stretching in his T-shirt and basketball shorts, mumbled good morning to you and locked himself in the bathroom. 

Your eyes had slid lasciviously over his body, stealing glances of his exposed skin between his T-shirt and shorts, of his broad shoulders stretching the fabric, of his thighs...

All while you wanted to sink into a black hole and disappear forever. You sank your face into the pillow to keep yourself from screaming. 

And what was worse was that you had to carry the burden of what you felt alone because the person you would normally talk to about it was the one you were longing for. Wonderful, a wonderful situation. 

When he had come out of the bathroom, with his beautiful smile and that rough voice that he always had early in the morning you almost lost control. You were about to beg him to join you in bed. Ugh, your 20s, uncontrollable, stupid, senseless hormones.

“What are you waiting for? Come on, go get dressed, we have to leave,” he had told you, in the same friendly and vaguely mocking tone as always. 

“Oh. yes, thank you, I promise I will be quick.” You had stammered.

You got up, grabbed some random clothes from your suitcase, your beauty case and went to the bathroom to shower and change. He would be ready in 10 minutes at most so he would always let you go to the bathroom first, to give you time to do your makeup and fix your hair. Marcus knew that about you, too, and he was okay with that. 

You closed the door behind you, feeling the tears stinging your eyes. You had managed to hold them back until that moment, but in the shower, covered by his of the water, they had flowed copiously and salty down your cheeks. 

____________________________________________

2000

“Hey! How are you! My goodness, long time no see!” 

You had met him at the supermarket, as you were going around the shelves intent on shopping for your mother. 

You were back at your parents' house for Thanksgiving with your husband, John. 

The last person you thought you would see was him. 

“Marcus!” you had squeaked.

“I am fine! How are you? And Danielle?” 

Your mother had taken it upon herself to inform you that he had also married, had no children, and had become a detective. 

“Danielle is just fine, she is right there down the aisle picking potatoes according to my mother's exact instructions,” he had rolled his eyes, chuckling.

Damn, you had thought, he's breathtakingly handsome. 

You hoped that in all the years you had lost touch with each other he would have lost at least some of his hair like his father, but apparently he had not inherited that gene. His hair was thick and healthy as usual, he wore a gray T-shirt under a black leather jacket and a pair of dark blue jeans. You hated the way he could put on two random things and look so damn perfect while you felt like you had spent your whole life in front of your closet wondering what to wear. And even more you hated his smile, so friendly and sweet, that it hadn't changed at all. 

He seemed genuinely glad to see you. 

You had lost touch with each other after graduation, despite the advent of cell phones, computers, and email. Your friendship had survived handwritten letters, postcards, prepaid phone cards but still crumbled eventually. You were on the opposite coast, intent on your master's degree, dreaming of becoming a writer; he was hooked on a career in law enforcement. 

The letters had become fewer and fewer, as had the phone calls, and eventually what was there had simply slipped away as the months passed, the commitments increased, and each of you tried to become the adult you had dreamed of being.

You had thought it was much better this way, you had stifled your feelings for him for another four years before accepting that nothing would ever happen. You had dated other guys in the meantime, but Marcus had always remained in your mind as the perfect guy you could never have. It was only when you had met John that you had allowed yourself to think that maybe it could work with someone who was not your old friend. He was understanding, sweet, supportive, present and caring with you. John was a really good guy and so you had finally decided to marry him. He had asked you one spring day at the Public Garden, while you were eating a lobster sandwich under a tree in front of the pond, watching the swans. Your offices were close by, so you tried to spend your lunch break together as often as you could. You had gotten a job at the Boston Globe, were in charge of the wedding column, and wrote romance novels in your spare time, sending manuscripts left and right in the hope that some editor would notice them. John was a stockbroker, pragmatic, punctual and very thorough in his work as much as he was sweet and attentive with you. 

“How about we get married?” he simply had said to you, with his mouth full. You had laughed, thought he was joking, until you noticed his serious and hopeful look and exclaimed “oh my God, yes!” throwing your sandwich in the air and wrapping your arms around his neck. That was all you wished for. You had moved in together in a beautiful house downtown, not very big but lovely, you had fallen in love with it as soon as you saw it. It was bright and warm, the right place to start your life with John.

You had, of course, sent an invitation to Marcus as well, but he had declined, saying he was very busy with work. You had kind of tied it on your finger and so you had decided that he might as well get out of your life after all. Times change, people change, all I can do is move on and try to forget how I feel about him by devoting myself to my relationship with John, you thought.

Now that you had him in front of you again though, he looked the same as he always did, only grown. And your heart had skipped a beat the instant you recognized his voice greeting you.

“How long do you plan to stay?” you had asked out of pure courtesy. 

“About a week, we were able to take a few days to relax a bit. We're always working like crazy, you know, we both needed to get away for a while. How about you?” 

“Yes, us too, by the way if you remember Sunday is my father's birthday and my mother really wanted us to be there.” 

“I guess. By the way, I'm sorry. My mother told me when we arrived.” 

Your father had been ill for several months and unfortunately there was little left to do at that point. He was slowly fading away and it would probably be the last Thanksgiving you would spend together.

“I thank you. Oh here's John. John this is Marcus, an old friend of mine. Marcus, this is John, my husband.”

“Nice to meet you, Marcus,” John had said, shaking his hand. 

“Honey, I'm done, shall we go?” had chirped Danielle's voice as she approached you. 

“Yes love, but first let me introduce you to an old friend of mine and her husband” Marcus had told her softly. 

“Oh it's you! Marcus has told me several times about you! It's nice to finally meet you in person.”

Danielle was beautiful, dark hair, blue eyes and delicate features, a little nose that looked as if it had been drawn by an artist, full lips, high cheekbones and a well-proportioned chin. Her voice was melodious and sweet and she looked at you with an excited and surprised expression, " He didn't tell me you were so pretty!" 

“Oh, thank you, you are too,” you had said, slightly embarrassed by such kindness. At that point John had held you proudly, as if you were his greatest prize. His arm had wrapped around your waist, and his eyes looked at you lovingly "didn't she? I'm lucky that she married me." 

Danielle had laughed graciously and shook his hand introducing herself, while you and Marcus looked at each other almost studying each other, as if you were both trying to figure out how happy you actually were in your marriages.

That habit of worrying about each other had not gone away; after all, you had been close friends for quite a few years, and your friendship had faded not because of a quarrel, but because of distance and becoming busy adults. And because you had to get over the crush you had on him, of course, but you had never told him that. 

“Well, we have to go now, anyway come and see us if you can. My mother would love to see you again,” Marcus had said before offering to push the cart full of food that his wife had left beside you and start toward the checkouts. 

“We'll try, thank you,” you had nodded. You definitely should have helped your mother, tried to soothe her at least a little from the strain of caring for your father 24/7; you didn't know how much more time would be left for other things. 

You had watched them walk off together from behind, down the canned food aisle where you had retrieved the ready-made cranberry sauce you would never have time to prepare. 

They were a good-looking couple, really, attractive, well-dressed, Danielle looking impeccable in a pair of jeans that bandaged her while highlighting her curves, a red blouse that matched her complexion, and a pair of vertiginous heels on which you didn't even know how to walk. She seemed to do it without any problem. 

“We should go too, honey” John's voice had brought you back down to earth. 

_________________________________________

Once home John had announced to your mother that you had met your old friend at the supermarket, and of course she was thrilled, “Oh, he's such a nice guy, I saw him and his wife the other day walking downtown, they are such a nice couple, aren't they?” 

John had agreed, taking a beer from the fridge “really” 

“Well, like you, of course” your mother had added, looking at you softly. 

And it was true, you were fine with John, he was a good person, a hard worker, he treated you like a princess. What more could you want? 

Yet since you had seen him again, Marcus's face had made room in your mind. The intrigued way he had looked at you, as if trying to understand everything that had happened to you in the years you had not been in touch, the way his arms were reaching out to embrace you when John had arrived, a barely imperceptible movement that only you had noticed because you knew him better than the palm of your hand, the dimple that had popped up on his cheek as he smiled at you, the usual one you had grown to love so much.

You had pinched the bridge of your nose as you tried to drive it from your mind “Are you okay love?” had asked John immediately. 

“Yes, I just have a little headache, I'll get something later,” you had lied, hurrying to put away the rest of the groceries. 

What annoyed you the most was that it seemed like not a single day had passed since you were in your twenties and you had woken up hugging him in the bed of that dingy motel. It was absurd. You had worked so hard to move on and now it felt like you were back where you started. 

You couldn't let that happen, you wouldn't let your marriage be disrupted by a casual 10-minute meeting with him. 

You would not have gone to his house, no matter how much you would have liked to see his mother who had always been so kind to you. 

You had other things to think about anyway; your father was stuck in a hospital bed that you had managed to get him to be more comfortable. He had been put in the guest room on the ground floor, next to the bathroom, he couldn't do the stairs, and it was also easier for your mother to accompany him. The strong and generous man he had been was wearing out before your eyes, and it was a terribly painful image. You knew he had little time left, and you didn't want to waste it chasing the ghosts of the past when you had a husband who was helping you and hugging you every night trying to lessen your pain. 

Your Thanksgiving dinner had been unique to say the least, each of you shuttling from the dining room to your father's to spend some time with him, making sure he had everything he needed, helping him eat and drink. You had marveled at how gentle and patient John was with your dad, the big man you had married, one with two shoulders like a football player, feeding your father fruit jelly almost more gracefully than you. 

You knew how fond he was of your dad, they had hit it off right away, but you didn't know how much he was willing to sacrifice for him. You were moved.

___________________________________________

Your father was gone four days later. You and John were supposed to leave for Boston the next morning instead you had to call in to work, cancel your flight, call your trusty neighbor Marge to ask her to look at your house, pick up your mail, and water your plants. 

You were crushed and at the same time overwhelmed with bureaucracy so you couldn't stop. You had forgotten to eat breakfast that morning, got dressed in a hurry to go to the funeral home to deliver the suit with which you had decided to bury your father, then went to do some paperwork with the insurance company and finally to the church to arrange with the pastor the time of the service and the proceedings. When you left the church you felt an emptiness in your stomach, your head was spinning, you had eaten barely a sandwich in the last two days. 

You knew you were about to collapse, saw a café across the street from the church, and went inside to get a croissant and cappuccino to go. 

When you came out you found yourself in front of Danielle. She was so sorry, of course your mother had informed Marcus's mother and they would be attending the funeral. Danielle hugged you as if you were her sister, telling you that she understood you because she too had lost her father a few years earlier and even though you didn't know each other well you could have called her if you needed anything. 

You had thanked her and headed for the car, locked yourself in and took a couple of minutes to chug your croissant and drink your cappuccino. At least partially regenerated from the late breakfast you had headed back home, where John and your mother were waiting for you.

In the car you had been thinking about how kind Danielle had been and how lucky Marcus was to be with her.

The next day you had put on a sober black suit that you used for the office and probably wouldn't be able to wear again after that day, put on just enough makeup, helped John put on his tie, and headed for church with him and your mom. 

All three of you were exhausted, grieving, trying to hold the pieces together as best you could with each other's help but your dad's absence was hard to bear. You wished you could have woken up and found it had been just a nightmare, you wished you could have hugged him and talked to him and he, as he had always done, would have found the words you needed most.

There was only one other person who could soothe your worries in the same way your dad could, and that person was Marcus. 

John had been able to be there for you anyway, with actions more than words, taking tasks to take away from you, relieving you of burdens you could not carry alone, and for that you were infinitely grateful. He was a good husband. 

After the service, under his arm, you left the church behind your mother. You had lost count of the number of people who had come to hug you, faces you had never seen, work colleagues of your father's whom you had never met, old childhood friends, the church was full of people who had come to remember him fondly. This pleased you, but it was strange to you at the same time. You wished you had some time to yourself, alone, to try to catch your breath and rationalize at least some of what had happened, that blender of emotions that had shaken and sucked you in. 

You had made your way to the cemetery, walking along the path that led to the family grave where your grandparents were buried you had felt like you were in a muffled bubble where everything moved in slow motion, barely sensing John's presence beside you. 

When you had arrived, you had looked up for only a moment and before you had seen Marcus's. You had not noticed his presence in the church, busy as you were with hugging and greeting, you had seen only his mother but he had remained in the background, respecting your grief. Just as you wished others had done. There was nothing more to be said, he always knew what you needed, no matter how many years had passed, he could still read you like an open book just like when at 18 he had realized that your highest aspiration was to become a writer without even the need to make it explicit in words. 

His eyes were swollen and reddened; it was obvious that he was moved. Beside him was Danielle with a pair of dark glasses covering her face, clutching his arm elegantly and dignifiedly. 

You had smiled weakly at him, thanking him with your eyes, and he had smiled back, looking at you with the sweetest, sorriest eyes I had seen that day. 

___________________________________________

You had stayed behind to watch the final burial operations, while John had driven your mother back to the car, who had burst into convulsive tears, crushed by the realization that she had lost forever the man she had loved most in the world. 

You had felt a hand barely graze your shoulder, you had turned around and saw Marcus standing there on the grass “hey” As soon as you had seen him the impulse to hug him had come to you spontaneously, he had welcomed you into his arms, stroking your head, wrapping you against his chest, trying to comfort you. 

Being close to him still felt like home, his warmth immediately made you feel calmer, less alone, and not that John couldn't do that but with Marcus it was different. He had always been different in a way that was impossible to explain but that you felt hammering hard in your heart.

“Thank you,” you had whispered, with the tears you had finally allowed yourself to shed wetting your cheeks and his shirt. 

“Don't mention it,” he had whispered, continuing to hold you close. 

You had lingered a little longer in his embrace before pulling away and asking where Danielle was. 

"She went home with my mom. I stayed in case you needed anything.” 

“It's okay, thank you, there was no need,” you stammered lyingly. Yes you needed him, now more than ever, and he knew it well. 

“Your mother and John?” 

“Aunt Maggie drove them home, they left my mom's car with me.”

“Do you want me to drive?” she had asked and all you could do was nod ”please. But then how are you going to get back?” 

“I'll call Danielle, don't worry” he had encircled your waist with an arm as he walked you to the car. He had opened the door and helped you get in, even buckled your seat belt no matter how hard you had tried to insist you could do it yourself. 

Marcus did not spare himself when it came to caring for others. 

He had climbed up on the driver's side and in a rush had hugged you back, there, inside the car, whispering, “You don't know how sorry I am, baby. Your father was a great man.” 

You had looked at him gratefully, amid tears that had begun to flow profusely again "thank you" 

He had kissed you, right after that. And the instant his lips had rested on yours, you had felt that you could not help yourself no matter how hard you had tried to bury your feelings all those years. There was something inexplicable that united you, a way of understanding each other that needed no words, as if you were made to recognize each other, to see inside each other's souls. You had read in his eyes that day in the supermarket how much he had missed you, and he had read the same in yours, and just before that you had felt the same need to have him near, in spite of John, Danielle, and anything else that told you it was wrong. Deep inside you had always known it was right, you had felt it from the moment you first met him. You had been crowing for years about people talking about soul mates, meetings of destiny, and things like that. But now you knew you had felt it. His soft lips on yours were like honey to your soul, you wished you could sink into that feeling, drown in that sea and never rise again.

You couldn't leave John though. Not after you had built a life together in Boston, not after he had supported and cared for you all those days. Not after all he had done for you. 

As much as it hurt to do so, you pulled away from his lips. “I’ve always thought about you, all these years,” he said. “I’m sorry, you know, I didn’t realize it before, that maybe we could be something more. I never told you, but I remembered that kiss we shared when we were 18 very well.” Marcus was a torrent of words and was saying everything you’d always wanted to hear. “And I remember the night in that motel, too, how you held me in your sleep. I…” You knew he was about to say something like “I love you” “I’ve always loved you,” and so you cut him off. “Marcus.” He paused, his mouth half open as he looked at you in shock. “It’s too late. We can’t. Maybe there was a chance a few years ago, but now? We’re both married, we have responsibilities, we have to be realistic. It’s not fair to Danielle and John. And I have a job and a life in Boston, I can’t just leave everything all of a sudden.”

“But I…” and you knew he was about to say those words again. “Please don’t say that. Don’t make this any harder than it already is.”

Marcus had fallen silent, looking down at his hands draped over his lap, and then said sadly, “I understand.”

You had just lost your father and now you were losing him too. It wasn’t fair, but it was the only thing to do. “Take me home, please.” He would have started the car without saying anything, driving to your house without looking at you again, perhaps afraid that he wouldn’t be able to let you go if he ever laid eyes on you again. 

You got out of the car just saying thank you, without hugging him because you knew it would have hurt even more.

____________________________________

2008

When John had told you that you should move to Washington DC, you had not taken it well. You did not want to leave Boston, the bright home where you had begun to build your new life, that city that had welcomed you. Starting all over again somewhere else, in a city you had never been to, seemed too much. 

In the end, however, you had accepted it; leaving John seemed even worse. And he had continued to be a good husband, so you saw no reason to part with him.

After all, he had received a good promotion, he had rented a house where you had found a familiar light again, it had big windows, high ceilings, big rooms. John made good money and had tried to accommodate you in everything. 

He had made it worth it all the way.

You had been struggling a bit to fit into the editorial staff of the new newspaper you had found work for. You were aiming for the Washington Post, but they had totally bounced you, which had been no small disappointment to digest. 

However, after all, your life had regained some meaning. 

It was now six months since you had moved, you hadn't heard from Marcus in eight years. And this time it was not because of distance, but because it had really hurt you to find out that he felt something too but it never seemed to be the right time for you. It would have been in 1993 perhaps, if you had had courage, if you had taken the risk of exploring your feelings together. He hadn't had the guts to tell you anything, you were too afraid, and when you had found common ground it had immediately collapsed. 

John had noticed that something was wrong, even he knew you well enough to know that it pained you not to hear from your friend again, and at times he had even urged you to call him. You had told him that he had said something unpleasant about Danielle while you were in the car and you had felt sorry for her, from there you had started to argue. It was a really boorish excuse and you were pretty sure John hadn't bought it but had played it off for the sake of quiet life. 

“Can you stop by the bank to deposit this check this morning?” he had told you that morning before leaving the house. You were sitting at the kitchen table, drinking coffee and enjoying your day off. 

“Sure,” you had answered him, ”I'll go there before I go to the laundry to pick up my dress for tonight.” 

“Mmm the burgundy dress with that dizzying neckline?” he had told you as he leaned over to give you a kiss 

“Just that one” you had smiled as you returned the kiss and caressed his cheek ”you like it huh?”

“I'm looking forward to tonight” he had chuckled before leaving the house with his briefcase ”I'll be home at 7 o'clock okay?”

“Perfect, I'll be ready” you had thrown him a kiss and then curled up in your chair, finishing your coffee and admiring the view of the waking city outside. 

It was your anniversary, and he was going to take you to dinner at a French restaurant you had heard about in enthusiastic tones from your discerning colleague who was a food and wine critic. 

You had dressed quietly, gone out to do your chores, had a manicure appointment, then gone to pick up your dress at the dry cleaners and finally to the bank. 

As soon as you had left the bank you had bumped into a guy. 

You had looked up and been stunned. 

Marcus.

How was that possible? 

“Oh shit,” he had exclaimed.

His hair was slightly longer, he had grown a mustache and a beard but it was him, there was no doubt about it, you would have recognized him in a thousand. 

"What are you doing here?" you had asked him, widening your eyes, without a hello or how are you or anything else, you were too shocked. 

He was the last person you expected to see on your anniversary. 

Marcus had brushed his hand behind his neck, the gesture he always made when he was embarrassed “I got a big promotion” in a tone as if to apologize for existing in the same state as you, in the same city as you, for coexisting in the same environment as you.

“Whatever...I have to go, anyway, have a nice life,” you had tried to say quickly, to disengage yourself from that surreal situation. 

You had already turned your back on him when you heard him say “no wait...please...would you like to have a cup of coffee?”

You had turned silently to look at him. He couldn't have been serious. Yet he was.

And looking into those big brown pleading eyes, for some reason you had not been able to say no.

“All right,” you had replied with a shrug, ”I'll give you half an hour, then I'll have to go home.”

You went to sit in a café around the corner and ordered a cappuccino.

"So how are you?" you asked absentmindedly. 

“Danielle and I broke up last spring.” 

“Oh. I'm sorry.” It was like a blade through the chest to hear his voice again, to hear him say that he was single again and that his marriage was over. Somehow it made you feel guilty even though after eight years it was unlikely that the main reason for their breakup was you. 

“Yeah...she wanted children and for a while we tried but...” 

“Marcus please, I don't care, it's your business because it's over,” you cut off. 

You didn't have to get involved again. When you had thought back to your father's death and how he had confessed right afterwards you had been angry with him. Why had he done it at that time when you were so particularly vulnerable? It wasn't fair. 

"Sorry I-" he had babbled.  

“Never mind, never mind,” you had interrupted him again with a hand gesture. “Look, let's talk straight once and for all” you didn't know where all that aggression was coming from but it was growing inside you inexorably, like an infection ”why the hell are we here?” 

He had lowered his gaze to his cappuccino, then brought it back to you and stared at you in a way that made you feel naked and helpless. He still had an effect on you, and it pissed you off. “I miss you,” he had admitted under his breath, ”I miss talking to you and I miss having you around. I miss everything about you. When I saw you I couldn't believe it. But I know I can't let you leave without clearing things up.” 

“There's nothing left to clear up. It's over Marcus, can't you see that? There was never a right time for us.” 

“That's not true, I-” 

“Stop it! Look, I'm trying to live my life, you do it too,” you had screeched

“But-” 

“No 'buts'... Marcus, I'm tired. I'm tired of this running into each other and don't tell me it's fate because it's just pure randomness. John was transferred for work, now we live here, end of story. I'm still with him, okay? And I'm happy, so please leave me alone.” 

You could see his clenched fist on the coffee table, his eyes glazed with tears, his Adam's apple jumping as you mentioned John. He looked devastated. It was no longer your business anyway, so you had gotten up and made to leave, leaving a bill on the coffee table. “Don't look for me anymore.” 

Marcus had jumped up, his chair had fallen back crashing onto the pavement, and he didn't even seem to notice as he tried to stop you.

“Please” he had grabbed you by the sleeve of his jacket ”please.” 

You had turned back to him and looking into his eyes you had seen the little boy who asked you if he would ever be famous, the one who helped you with your homework, the 20-year-old who had involved you in the craziest vacation of your life, and then the adult who had broken your heart. 

“No.” you had whispered, ”no fucking way.” 

Marcus' face was a grimace of pain, as if in physical pain from your rejection, his shoulders hunched and his hand not letting go of you. He was pathetic and sweet at the same time.

His eyes were fixed in yours as he told you loud and clear, “I love you.”

I love you. 

You had longed to hear it come from his lips for so long that now it was like a lash that burned against your skin. You had stopped feeling like you were glued to the sidewalk, unable to take a step forward “What the hell! Did you have to tell me that? Was it necessary after I told you that I am still with my husband? Fuck, your timing is the worst thing ever. Do you know what day it is today? My wedding anniversary.” you had thrown up words at him angrily, feeling a knot in your stomach that nauseated you. 

“I don't want anything from you,” he had replied, his voice trembling, ”I just wanted you to know.”

“And now that I know according to you what have we solved? What have we gained? I'll tell you, absolutely nothing Marcus.” 

You had turned around and left, yelling at him, “I'll tell you again, don't ever look for me.” 

You had come home and taken a long hot bath, cried your last tears for him, and then decided it was John you had to think about, your special day. Marcus wasn't going to ruin it for you. You had prepared yourself carefully, put on the dress he liked so much, your favorite perfume, and waited for John. When he had come home you had driven out to a restaurant, had had a delicious dinner, sex as soon as you got home, and fallen asleep in his arms feeling that it was right. 

___________________________________

2010

“Love don't wait up for me, I'll be back late. I am so sorry, I love you.” 

It was already the fourth time in a week that he sent you such a message, by now John spent more time in the office than anywhere else. He had been given another promotion and was now mainly in charge of foreign exchanges, so he went to the office at impossible hours, came back later and later, and you barely saw him in the morning getting out of bed to jump in the shower. You hadn't had sex for at least a month, in those days you had talked more often with the mailman than with your husband.

Finally a publishing house had noticed you and they had published your book, you had gotten a chance to continue working for the newspaper by writing your articles from home so you could work on your second novel. 

You had huffed, looking at the screen, by now you were going to your friends' dinners alone, in those two years you had bonded with some couples in your neighborhood, and with a colleague from the newspaper and her husband. Every time you had been invited in the last three months John had declined, saying he had to work. 

You were beginning to feel really alone in your marriage, but you knew you had to try something. You still cared about John; you didn't want everything you had built together to be ruined. Sure, since he was earning more money he was showering you with unexpected and expensive gifts that certainly didn't make up for his absence, though. You had never been a materialistic person, no matter how beautiful the diamond bracelets and pearl necklaces and expensive shoes were, you missed falling asleep cuddled with your husband, feeling his caresses, having breakfast with him in the morning, spending a weekend together on the couch watching TV cuddling, simply spending time with him. For the past few weeks you had failed to write a word, you had hastily completed articles for the newspaper just to meet deadlines but your novel had stalled. You were busy cleaning to take your mind off things, you had joined the gym to force yourself to leave the house but then you would go back and find yourself spending entire evenings lounging around, not knowing what else to do. 

You had decided that night that you had to take matters into your own hands, put on a pretty dress, fixed your hair and make-up thoroughly, and then went out with the intention of surprising him. You were going to bring him his favorite dishes from your favorite Chinese restaurant to the office. 

When you had arrived at his workplace, you had looked up from the car window and seen the light on in his office. 

You had come down loaded with Chinese noodles and dumplings, and as you walked toward the entrance you had noticed his car parked not far away. 

You had taken the elevator with your heart in your throat, looking forward to seeing his happy face as he enjoyed a hot meal. The elevator had opened on the floor and you had started down the hallway leading to his office. There was no one there, everything was quiet and still, but the closer you got to his office the more you heard strange noises. Bellowing, hushed voices. 

The door was pulled over, you had pushed it slightly, and the scene that unfolded before your eyes was unsettling. 

Veronica, a married colleague of him whom you had met at the firm's Christmas party a few months earlier, was bent over John's desk, her skirt up, her panties down, her long legs covered by black hold-ups, her stilettos sinking into the Persian carpet under John's desk. And your husband holding her hips and sinking into her from behind. 

His shirt was hanging off his shoulders, his hair was disheveled, his neck tense and sweaty, as he stood there with his cool wool pants down, fucking his colleague. 

He grunted some words that you had never heard him say when you were having sex “Yeah, bitch, you like that huh? You like getting pounded by my cock huh? You're such a dirty slut, do you feel how wet you are for me?" 

You couldn't believe your eyes. Your sweet husband, the one who had stood by you so devotedly…where had that man gone? 

You dropped the bag with the Chinese dinner on the floor, the boxes had opened, and the noodles had spread all over the hardwood floor. “What the fuck?!”

John had turned around shocked, still with his cock inside his coworker “Oh shit. No, wait, honey I-” he had stepped out of her and tried to pull up his pants awkwardly ”please-fuck-I can explain.” 

“There's nothing to explain, you piece of shit!” you had yelled at him as he approached trying to stammer out some stupid excuse and had slapped him open-handed across the face as soon as he got in front of you ‘don't bother coming home’ you had added contemptuously.

“But love I-” he had pranced rubbing his cheek ”please-” 

“NO!” You had yelled “No, I don't want to hear your bullshit excuses, I don't want anything more to do with you, you disgust me!”

Veronica was standing in the corner buttoning her blouse and pulling down her skirt without meeting your gaze, her face hot and guilty.

Everything that you had sacrificed for that relationship, how you had followed him and reinvented your life for him, adapting to his needs, trying to build a happy nest for the two of you in Washington, all had been swept away. He had stomped on your marriage, your trust, your heart. 

You had driven home crying, risking missing a red light, had nailed down at the last moment with your heart bouncing inside your chest like a jackhammer. You had walked into the house throwing your purse and coat on the floor, throwing your shoes in the middle of the hallway and throwing yourself on the bed, hiding your face in the pillow with your head bursting, a sense of helplessness and defeat enveloping your temples, your chest, your stomach. 

It was over.

John had never come home, you had learned through his lawyer that he had rented an apartment near his office, and a week later he sent three big guys from a moving company to pick up his things.

You couldn't stay in that house anymore. Everything reminded you of him, the lies he had been telling you for months and what was even worse, all the happy moments you had lived in there in spite of yourself. 

You were dragging yourself from room to room without strength, you hadn't written anything anymore, you had told the editor of the newspaper that you were sick to have an excuse to delay the deadlines for your articles. 

You were tired, you were angry, you lacked the will to do anything, after three days without seeing you leave the house your friend Denise, who lived across the street had called you alarmed to see if you were all right, and hearing your dejected, fading voice had decided to use the keys you had given her in case of an emergency to come and check on you in person. 

You had not been able to lie to her; you had burst into tears and told her everything as soon as she asked you where John was. 

From that day she had been by every day bringing you dinner, making sure you ate, forcing you to shower, tidying up. You didn't know what you had done to deserve Denise in your life but you were incredibly grateful that she was there. 

Gradually you had forced yourself to take charge of your life again, started going out again pushed by your friends and even moved house, encouraged by them. You couldn't turn over a new leaf without getting out of there. 

And you had especially realized that you could walk with your head held high; you were not the one who had to be ashamed. 

And looking back on it, you had really overcome a lot in the last few years. The loss of your father, Marcus, your husband. All the men who had meant something to you in your life. 

You could have been proud that you did your best to stay on your feet. 

________________________________________________________

2011 

It had been a year since you had discovered John screwing his colleague.

You had tried dating men, without success, but things were going very well professionally. You had finally managed to finish your second book, and the publisher had been extremely pleased, so much so that he had arranged a series of meetings for you at bookstores around the country.  You had just returned from Ohio when you got a call from your mother inviting you for Christmas.

You had no desire to return to Sacramento, but how could you say no to your mom? She was left alone and it had not been easy for her. Your aunt and uncle lived nearby and took care of her but she had said she missed you a lot.

And she was so proud of you, she had asked you for copies of your books to give to all her friends, she was your biggest fan. You were happy to see her and spend time with her. 

And so, there you were at the airport, with a big suitcase, ready to get on yet another plane and fly across the country. 

You had just gotten an upgrade to business class and were in the private lounge of the area airline ordering yourself a martini when you heard a familiar voice behind you calling your name. 

Marcus. Again. 

“I swear I'm not following you,” he had raised his hands in surrender. 

“I know. I haven't seen you in three years, and we live in the same town.”

You had smiled; it wasn't bad to see his face again after all. 

“Martini?” He had asked pointing to your glass 

“Yeah. Can you please make another one?” You had said turning toward the bartender. 

You had sat at a small table with your cocktails “Are you going to see your mother?”

You had nodded, “You too?” 

“Yes, my parents were very insistent. Where is John?” 

“I have no idea,” you had squeezed into your shoulders taking a sip of your martini. 

“Oh, did you break up? I'm sorry, he seemed like a good man,” he had said.

“Apparently he wasn't since he was cheating on me with one of his colleagues.” 

“You should have better judgment anyway, aren't you a detective?” you had asked, raising an eyebrow and looking at him wryly 

Marcus had burst out laughing, “You're right, I should.”

And he had told you about the time he had fallen in love with someone named Teresa, a colleague of his, and had been left like a poor idiot the previous year, without realizing that she was in love with someone else. 

“It wasn't your fault, you know,” you told him sweetly, ”I know how you get when you have a crush.” 

“How do I become?” he had asked you with a sigh.

And you had replied with a smirk “Well, if you must know...naive, head in the clouds, like you live in a world of unicorns and fairies” 

“Really? A ridiculous clown? Is that what I become?” he had chuckled and then turned serious again ”Not with you, I hope”

You had laughed, you could have laughed at that point. Or maybe it was just the martini clouding your mind. 

“Whatever,” you had rolled your eyes. 

“Well, I'm sorry,” he had muttered.

“It's okay” you had smiled ”Really.”

At that moment they had announced boarding for your flight, so you had hurried to the gate together. 

You were both in business, so eventually you had sat next to each other and continued chatting. 

And it was nice, really nice. You were both single, more aware, you had reached an age where you could be honest with yourselves and you could joke about your dramas. 

“So you had noticed that I had hugged you that night huh?” 

“Sure. You pounced on me in my sleep and woke me up. I didn't want to embarrass you so I played it cool” she had smiled ”I thought you were sleepwalking and dreaming of hugging Keanu Reeves or whatever.” 

You had burst out in the loudest laugh you had had in years and then covered your mouth embarrassed that you had disturbed the other passengers. Fortunately those in your vicinity all had headphones on and were watching a movie. 

“Oh, come on” you had tapped his shoulder and then taken by you don't know what courage-probably the second martini you were downing-you had said ”the only one I dreamed of hugging was you.” 

“I didn't realize this until later...Now is there anyone you would like to hug by any chance?” he had whispered in your ear.

“Actually...yes” 

And there, in that plane, you kissed. For the first time without hindrance, without remorse, without drama, without fear. “I love you” he had whispered on your lips, and you had responded, finally free to say it ”I love you too.”

“So we'll try this time?” he had caressed your cheek, sliding his hand down your neck. 

“Yes” You had said ”definitely yes.”

“Your mother will be delighted” he had smiled, kissing you again “it's going to be a great Christmas.”

“Well, Merry Christman then” you whispered as your mouth moved down his neck.

“Merry Christmas, baby”

[dreamcsc]

take a gamble, won’t ya?

SYNOSIS. Mingyu is assigned to crack the case on the mass murder that terrorized the land; however, he unravels that his former Head of the unit had turned against righteousness and is now the main suspect in the crime. In hopes of clearing his former Head’s name, Mingyu finds significant clues at the crime scene, dragging him and a mysterious, peculiar someone named Lee Y/N, into a journey riddled with trust issues, mind games, and revelations. Mingyu is faced with pivotal choices—will he continue to protect his former Head based on their shared past, or will he confront the man who once taught him the meaning of integrity? The outcome of the investigation hinges not only on solving the murders but also on the evolution of Mingyu, as he determines what it truly means to stand for justice in a world full of gray.

-> pairings: kim mingyu x female reader/you, other seventeen member x female reader/you

-> word count: ???

-> warnings/tags: vulgar language, murder, corruption, secret identities, organized crime, secret organization, psychological warfare, betrayal/backstabbing, UNRELIABLE NARRATOR, lowkey inspired by alice in borderland, slowburn, eventual romance, angst/fluff/dark themes, seventeen ensemble, alternating point of views in MC, greedy people ew, AGE GAP [more to be included].

CHARACTERS.

-> MAIN CHARACTERS:

Kim Mingyu : a 23-year-old detective with an unyielding sense of justice. He yearns for justice not just for victims but also for those who have been wronged by the system itself. His ultimate goal is to solve the mass murder case that has gripped the nation, but beyond that lies a personal mission: to clear the name of his former mentor. Throughout the investigation, Mingyu goes through significant growth, transitioning from a rule-abiding individual to a more nuanced thinker willing to question authority and morality.

Lee Y/N (You) : a 28-year-old woman who enters the Capital with an air of determination mixed with vulnerability. You seek redemption—not just for the one you love but also for yourself. Through your journey, you transform from a woman defined by your past traumas and fears to a stronger, more capable individual.

-> SIDE CHARACTERS:

Yoon Jeonghan : a highly intelligent and charismatic figure, revered as the Head of the Unit of Investigative in his early 30s. Having been underestimated in his early career, he learned that knowledge is power, and secrets are the currency of strength.

Jeon Wonwoo : an individual who gains a renewed commitment to justice, accepting that his fight is not just for himself but for those who still believe in the system.

Other seventeen members will be mentioned.

CHAPTERS.

Chapter 01 — Chapter 02 — Chapter 03 — Chapter 04

Chapter 05 — Chapter 06 — Chapter 07 — Chapter 08

Chapter 09 — Chapter 10 — Chapter 11 — Chapter 12

Chapter 13 — more to be added.

author’s note: Hi guys! This is my final project that I plan to work/finish in 2025! I wrote the plot line a few months back focusing on Minwon but I decided to revise it and post it on here instead. I have big hopes for this series as it's a very sophisticated plot line and it could go very bad if I don't write it well (lol). I will try my best to bring my ideas to life so please keep a lookout for updates! Please let me know what you think! Enjoy ~

taglist: @nerdycheol @syluslittlecrows @heeknow @gyubakeries @gyuguys @choco-scoups @reiofsuns2001 @rainytapestry

If you want to be on the taglist, please send an ask and I'll add you!

likes / reblogs / comments are appreciated! 🩵

©️ dreamcsc, 2024. no copying or reposting any of my original works. if inspired, please let me know so i can support + give permission.

[bteezxyewriter12]

Never Let Me Go

Pairing- Seonghwa x Named Reader

Word count- 7.7k

Includes- Angst, mean girl co-worker, pussy eating, blow job, deep throating, cum eating, cock riding, missionary, love making, multiple orgasms, fluff

Tag List- @mingtina @jaxminnie @yeosayang @delightfulmoonbanana @tannie13 @y00nzin0 @marsstarxhwa

@yeosxxx @seokwoosmole @jjongsbebe @wisejudgedragonhairdo @meowmeowminnie @woo-stars @borntowalkaway @usagionthered @san-realblkwife @seonghwasstar @jejeyeppeo @soulseobi05 @kpop-bambi @prayerofthehaim @realisticnotes @insomniacatiny @stephy-nicole13 @mknae-jongho @bykeynote @amyz78 @blueie-things

Masterlists- check out for more fics

📝Masterlists 📝ATEEZ Masterlist 📝Seonghwa Masterlist

J POV

I separate a section of his hair at the side of his head, then use a clip to hold the rest back

"Tilt your head this way a little Hwa", I tell him, slightly leaning his head to the right

He does and I take the section of hair, spraying it with hair spray

I separate that section of hair into two and start the tiny twist braid on the side of his head

As I twist the silky strands, I add more hair into the braid, making a sort of Dutch twist braid

Stopping when the braid is just past his ear, I take a small black elastic hand and tie the braid off, making sure it's tight and flat against his head

Then another layer of hair spray

I do three more tight twist braids, then another looser one, leaving hair out to frame his face

Moving behind him, I tilt his head back and start the Dutch braid where his part is, braiding the hair back off his face

"It feels good jagi", he murmurs, "You do it so gently"

"Well I don't want to hurt you baby", I tell him

As a hairstylist for ATEEZ, I definitely don't want to hurt any of the members when I do their hair

That'd be disastrous

I know some of the hairstylists are rougher than me sometimes and I see the guys grimacing in the mirror

I make sure I do the job right and as gentle as I can, especially with my boyfriend

I remember my mom pulling my hair when she brushed or did mine when I was a kid and I hated it

I'd run when she came near me with a hair brush

When I started cosmetology school for hair, I vowed never to be rough with someone's hair

"It never hurts jagi", he smiles at me, taking my breath away

He's so fucking beautiful it's a crime

Barefaced or made up like he is now, he is the handsomest man I've ever seen

I smile back at him, then continue to work on his hair, making another Dutch braid next to the first one, then five more twist braids on the other side of his head

Once those are done, I turn on the flat iron and section off his hair again to straighten it

I go slowly so I don't accidentally burn him, making his soft black hair pin straight

Moving in front of him, I run the flat iron over the pieces of hair framing his face, then spraying it again

Finally I walk around him running my fingers in his hair to mess it up slightly, then strategically "mess up" the hair framing his face

"Done Hwannie"

He nods, standing up, "Thanks baby"

"Yeah Hwa", I answer, turning the flat iron off and putting it on the table

"Jagi", he says softly, his hand on my arm, turning me to him

I look up at him just as he leans down, his soft smooth lips against mine in a gentle kiss

My head spins, my heart pounding just like it does every time he kisses me

All too soon the kiss ends, a smile on his face

"I'll see you later ok?"

I nod, "Yeah baby, ok"

He kisses my cheek, then goes across the room to the tables with makeup

I watch him sit down, one of the make up artists, Eun, glaring at me

I just raise my eyebrow

I don't know what her problem is

She's always been mean to me since I started over a year ago

She was never nice, gives backhanded compliments and is just rude

Like a popular mean girl except the other stylists and staff don't really like her

I stay away from her, I don't engage in her bullshit

She's never said anything directly to me but when she does, I'll shut her down, no problem

Ignoring her, I call Mingi over for his hair to be done

--------------------------------

I watch my baby dance, sweat pouring down his face as he smirks and sticks his tongue out

A group of us staff are watching the guys perform on a monitor in the dressing room

He's so beautiful, everything he does so effortless

He's amazing to watch

"God, Seonghwa is so hot", Eun says, when a close up of Seonghwa breathing hard after the performance ends appears on the screen

"Eun!", Rose shushes her

"Oh what?", Eun rolls her eyes, "Joanne knows she's dating an idol. A hot idol at that and she knows girls are going to talk about him, lust after him"

Eun looks right at me, smirking haughtily, "Right Jo?"

I just nod because she's right

I know Seonghwa is lusted after by lots of women and some of those women work with me

I'm used to hearing people talk about him

Wishing they could have him

He's not only hot but he's the whole package

Sweet, kind, so caring, so affectionate, so gentle, so loving, attentive, supportive

He's honestly the perfect guy

"His duality is insane. How he goes from hot to freaking adorable is crazy", Eun continues

Again she's right

And its such a turn on seeing it happen during sex

How he can go from a cute cuddly baby to a dominating rough demon in seconds can give someone whiplash

Not me though

Not anymore

I'm used to it

"I wish I could fuck him"

Ok that's a new one

"Jesus Christ Eun! His girlfriend is standing right there!", Kamou snaps

"Please, I'm just saying what everyone is thinking", she answers, "Every woman here wants to fuck him"

Again, she's not wrong but really she doesn't have to say it in front of me

"I'd do it too", she says, looking at me, "Nothing against you Jo, but if Seonghwa came on to me while he's with you, I'm going for it"

I guess that's supposed to be a warning but I'm not worried

I made Seonghwa swear up and down before I agreed to go out with him that he won't cheat on me

I'm not dumb, I know he's around beautiful idols and beautiful ATINYs all day, almost everyday

I know he'll be hit on, he'll be tempted

But I made him promise to break up with me if he wanted to fuck someone else or just fuck around in general

I was cheated on before, I told him about it and I made sure he knew that was a condition of me saying yes to him

Do not cheat

So the only time Eun would ever get him is after he breaks up with me

By then he's free and it doesn't matter who he sleeps with

"Goddamn Eun. Rein it fucking in and stop talking to her like that", Kamou growls

"Please Kam. I'm just giving her a reality check", Eun says pompously, "Seonghwa is twenty five years old. He knows he's a hot guy who millions of girls want. He can have his pick of anyone and he chooses Jo? C'mon"

What she's saying is insulting and I am offended but she's also right

I often wonder why he did pick me

I'm definitely not the prettiest staff member here, not the smartest, not the most outgoing

In fact, when I was first hired, I didn't speak to any of the members for months despite them trying

I was just nervous and I knew I'd make a fool of myself

Seonghwa was the one who actually got me to start talking

He was just so sweet, trying to make conversation and I didn't want to hurt his feelings

But once I opened up to Seonghwa it was easy to open up to the other guys too

Four months after I started talking to Seonghwa, he asked me out and we've been together for almost a year

But really if you look at us, it's clear we don't belong together

He's way out of my league

Anyone can see it

"That's so fucking rude", Kamou snarls

Eun scoffs, "The truth is rude. She's definitely not his type. Not with her tattoo sleeves and that weird piercing on her face. They don't go together. They look weird together. He should be with a girl who's classically pretty, whose skin isn't all inked up. That's probably why he hasn't gone public with her. Because of how she looks. He's probably ashamed of her"

I hate how she's talking like I'm not here

Like if you're gonna talk shit, talk to my face

"That's so out of line", Rose tells her

Eun just shrugs then actually turns to me

Finally she's not being a coward

"Not for nothing Jo, you and Seonghwa aren't end game", Eun says snottily, "He'll leave you eventually, probably for an idol"

"Eun what the actual fuck is wrong with you?", Rose gapes

"Nothing. I'm telling her reality. Her and Seonghwa aren't going to last"

"I know", I say, all of their eyes landing on me

The thing is Eun is telling me this shit as if I don't know it already

As if I haven't painstakingly thought of and worried about every single thing she said

I know me and Seonghwa aren't endgame

There's just no way

I don't look like a "normal" girl

I have lots of tattoos

Visible tattoos

I don't have sleeves on my arms but I have a lot along the length of my arms

I have more on my thighs, my ankles, my calves, my body

And I have an anti eyebrow ring, a barbell on my cheekbone under my right eye

Big no no's, especially in the idol world

I figured Seonghwa would never go public with me

I'm not exactly idol girlfriend material

And it doesn't help that I told him I love him a few weeks ago and he said nothing

We had just finished being together and were cuddling and I just said it

I don't know what I was expecting but it wasn't complete silence

It wasn't the look on his face like he wanted to be anywhere but with me at that moment

And that moment confirmed what I already knew

He doesn't love me

After two minutes of complete silence, I had to get out of there

I kissed his cheek, disentangled from him and went right to the bathroom

I cleaned up and desperately hoped he wouldn't bring it up ever again

When I got back to my room, he acted as if I didn't say anything to him

And I just went with it

He went back to acting normal, never bringing up my love confession again

And I just let it go

I decided to just enjoy the time I have with him, however long that will be

"Jo?", Kamou asks

"Look, I know Seonghwa and I aren't going to last ok? I know he'll probably end up with an idol or even an ATINY. I'm not stupid", I tell them, "I know how lucky I am to have the chance to be with him. I know I'm not good enough for him. But I'm just going to enjoy being with him. However long that is. And when he's tired of me and wants to break up, I'm gonna let him go"

I'm not about making someone who doesn't want to be with me stay

I can't make him love me, I can't make him want me

And I don't want to be with someone who doesn't want me

It'll hurt but I'll just have to find a way to get over it

"So anything you think you have to say to let me know about Seonghwa and my relationship, save it", I tell Eun, "You can't tell me anything I don't already know or thought about"

Eun just shrugs, "Well just know that once he dumps you, I'm going after him. I'm at least going to fuck him"

I snort, glaring at her, "Why wait? Why don't you go after him now?"

She sneers, "Because I don't get into girl fights and I know you're the pathetic type to fight for a guy who won't want you soon. Seeing as how I know you two won't last anyway, I can wait a little while longer"

"I'm pathetic?", I snort, "You're the sad desperate skank who's pining over someone else's boyfriend"

She huffs, glaring at me, "We'll see how much of a smart ass you are when your boyfriend is with me"

God, she's so full of herself

I know Seonghwa would never go for her

He doesn't go for bitches

And she's a mega bitch

"Whether Seonghwa is with me or not, it won't stop me from shutting your fucking ass up", I growl, "It won't keep my mouth shut when you're acting like a bitch. So how about you go fuck right off?"

She sneers but doesn't say anything, instead walking away to the other side of the room

She's a fucking coward, all talk with nothing to back herself up

"Don't listen to her", Kamou says, "She's an idiot. She's just jealous"

I shrug

I don't care about her

As long as she stays away from me and keeps her mouth shut, there will be no problems

Now that ATEEZ is done performing, I take my phone and sit on one of the chairs, starting the long process of waiting for the show to be over so Seonghwa and I can go home

🐉🐉🐉🐉🐉🐉🐉🐉🐉🐉

Seonghwa POV

I stand outside the dressing room completely horrified at the conversation I overheard

I came to find my jagi after the performance when I saw she wasn't backstage

I heard everything Eun said to her

The fucking audacity she has saying those things to my baby

As if I'd ever be with Eun

Not a chance in hell

Eun can chase me to the ends of the earth, I will never be with her

She's nothing I'd ever want

She's mean and nasty to all the staff and it's a huge turn off

I'm so upset hearing everything Joanne said....everything she thinks- how she "knows" I'm going to get tired of her, that I'm going to break up with her...that I'm out of her league....that she thinks I'm ashamed of her....it breaks me that she thinks she's not good enough for me

Because it's completely not true

She's out of my league not the other way around

She's my everything

I love her with all my heart, she's my one, she's all I want

I hate how clear it is that she thinks I don't love her

It's because of what happened when she told me she loves me

I was completely shocked, I was happy but also unsure if I heard her right and I choked

Badly

I didn't say anything and then she ran away

I was horrified and yelling at myself when she left her bedroom

I don't know why I just didn't say it back

I just froze like a dumbass

And when she came back, she had a look on her face, almost like she was begging me not to bring up what just happened

So I didn't and acted normal

But I've been kicking myself ever since that day

I've been trying to find the right time to tell her that I love her more than anything but every time seems wrong

It's like that moment was the right time and I blew it

One thing is clear though, I have to tell her that she's wrong

Tell her everything she's thinking is so wrong and I love her so much

I will

Tonight when we get back to her apartment

I'm telling her everything I should of said that night

I walk into the dressing room, looking for her

I spot her in a chair, scrolling through her phone, lost in her own world

I smile watching her

She's so oblivious sometimes and it's adorable

"Jagi", I call when I get to her

She looks up at me and gives me her gorgeous smile that takes my breath away

"Hi Hwannie", she says, "What are you doing here baby? Shouldn't you be in the viewing room with the guys?"

I nod, "Yeah but I wanted to find you first"

"Oh. Well here I am"

I smile at her, reaching out and running my fingers in her hair

God, she's so fucking beautiful

I can stare at her all day

"You still want me to come over after?", I ask

She nods, "Yeah. Unless you don't want to"

"No I do jagi"

"Ok Hwa", she smiles

Leaning down, I kiss her soft lips, my head spinning just like every time I kiss her

I love that feeling

"I'll see you later jagi"

"Ok Hwannie"

Kissing her forehead, I reluctantly leave her in the dressing room

I don't want to go back to the guys, I want to stay with her but I can't

'Just a little longer', I tell myself as I enter the viewing room

--------------------------------

I follow her into her bedroom watching as she kicks her shoes off in the closet

"What do you wanna do baby?", she asks, "Are you hungry? We can order food"

I am hungry but I want to address what I overheard first

"Jagi, can...can we talk?", I ask

She freezes, a look of fear on her face

And I mentally palm myself in the face when I realized what I said

What it sounds like to her

Those words are the words everyone who's going to break up with someone uses

She swallows, then nods, forcing a smile on her face, "Yeah sure Hwa. I uh ...I'm just going to change first ok?"

"Yeah jagi, ok", I answer, hoping that by using a pet name she realizes I'm not breaking up with her

She faces her dresser as she changes, her body slightly trembling, her breathing increasing, her nose sniffling

I immediately get up and get to her, knowing that she's either crying or trying not to cry

Taking her arm, I turn her to me and wrap my arms around her, holding her tightly

She clings onto me, her face buried in my shirt, her fingers gripping the fabric hard

She's standing stiffly in my arms as if that will protect her from any hurt she thinks is coming

"Jo", I whisper, needing to tell her how I really feel, so she knows she had nothing to ever worry about, "I love you"

I feel like a weight is lifted off me now that I told her

Silence fills the room and she doesn't move a muscle

It takes a minute before she moves her face away from my shirt, slowly looking up at me, confusion in her beautiful eyes

"What?", she whispers

I push her hair off her face, looking in those dark brown pools I drown in every time I look in her eyes, "I love you Jo. So fucking much jagi"

"You don't have to say it just because I did Hwa", she says quietly

"I'm not jagi", I assure her, "I...I'm sorry I didn't say it before. When you said it. I was just shocked and I froze. I...I was worried I was hearing things. But baby I love you so much. I never fell in love with anyone before but fuck, I love you so much"

"You're....you're serious?", she asks hesitantly

"One hundred percent", I answer

I breathe in preparing to talk to her about what I overheard

"Jo....I heard....what Eun said to you. And what you said to her"

Her cheeks turn pink as she looks away

"Baby", I say softly, touching her cheek gently, her eyes slowly moving back to me, "Everything she said, everything you think, it's not true"

"It's not?"

I shake my head, "Jagi, I'm not ashamed of you baby. I never would be. I think...I think you're the most beautiful girl I've ever seen"

"C'mon Hwa", she says, clearly not believing me, "That's not true"

"Of course it is Jo. The second I saw you, I was mesmerized. All I wanted was to be near you. To get to know you. But you were so shy and I backed off, giving you time to get adjusted to everything. Until I couldn't wait anymore. That's when I started talking to you. From the moment I saw you, I wanted you. Only you"

Her cheeks turn an adorable shade of pink and I smile softly, running my fingers in her long hair

"You're stunning to me Jo. And I absolutely love all your tattoos. I love looking at them, I love tracing the lines, I love how they look on you", I confess, "And I love your piercing too. It's unique and interesting and looks so fucking good on you"

Leaning down, I kiss her cheek where her piercing is

She is honestly the most gorgeous girl I've ever seen

Like an ethereal angel

An ethereal tattooed angel

"I happen to think we look incredibly good together", I tell her, smiling

"Yeah?", she asks, giving me a small smile

"Oh yeah", I confirm, "We are definitely a hot couple"

She giggles, the sound warming my entire body

"We look perfect together", I tell her honestly

"I...I thought we did too", she whispers, "But I could be wrong"

"You're not, baby", I say, "Jo, I know that you think I'm going to leave you eventually but I'm not"

"You don't know that Hwa"

"I do", I say firmly, "See jagi to me, we are endgame. I went into this knowing you're my one, knowing we're endgame. The only way we're not together is if you walk away. If you leave me because I'm never going to walk away from you. Never. Of that I'm sure"

I can't be without her

I don't know how I lived without her before

And I know if she ever left me, I'd break completely

Just thinking about it makes my heart pound, makes tears spring to my eyes

"You are more than good enough for me baby. Too good", I tell her, "I'll never get tired of you Jo. I'll never hide you like you think I will. I was waiting to tell you I love you before I go public with us"

"You were?", she questions, surprised

"Yeah jagi. I actually can't wait to show everyone the beautiful girl I love with all my heart. To have the world know I have an amazing girl", I answer, looking in her gorgeous eyes, "I don't want you to ever let me go baby. Please don't"

She shakes her head, hugging me tightly, whispering in my ear, "I never will Hwa. I love you more than anything Seonghwa. You are the one I want, always. I was scared you weren't going to want me"

"Don't be afraid jagi", I whisper, "I'm never leaving you. I'm never letting you go. You're my everything"

"You're mine too Hwannie"

I breathe in relief, holding her tightly

"I love you", I tell her

Now that I said it, I don't want to stop

"I love you Hwa"

Leaning down, I kiss her softly, pouring all my love into it

She kisses me back, her arms moving around my neck where they belong

Picking her up, I carry her to her bed, laying her on it, kissing her desperately

I need her right now but what's more, I need to show her how much I love her, how much I want her

As her tongue plays with mine, I move my hands down her body, pulling her pj pants down

Sitting up, I get them off her, her panties and the rest of her clothes following

She sits up, taking my shirt off, then tugging on my pants, whining a soft "off"

I do as she asks, taking everything off, then gently pushing her back on the bed

"Fuck jagi", I murmur, my eyes and hands roaming her body, her soft skin under my fingers, "How could I ever want anyone else when I have you? You're perfect baby"

Leaning down, I press a kiss to the skin between her boobs and keep going, making my way down her body, giving kisses along her pretty tattoos

She whimpers, her body pressing up into my lips, her skin trembling

I open her legs as I kiss her lower stomach, forcing myself to go slow and not just bury my face in her sweet cunt

Finally I get to where I want to be and give her little pussy a kiss, then run my tongue up her cunt eagerly

We both moan at the same time, her from pleasure, me from how utterly sweet she tastes

I swear I can never get enough of eating her pussy

I can eat her out every day, for hours

The whole rumor about me loving to eat pussy is right

I love it and I love hers

With every lick I give her, I move my tongue faster and faster until I'm swirling it around her cunt, pushing my face right into her

I grip her thighs hard, keeping her wide open for me as I eat

"Seonghwa", she moans, her voice sending shivers down my back

I can never get tired of hearing her call my name

It turns me on like nothing else

My tongue runs down her pussy and I dip just the tip into her hole, feeling her trying to clench on it

I pull away, listening to her cute whines

"Mmm jagi, want me to tongue fuck you?"

"Yes Hwa", she whines, her hand sliding into the back my hair, pushing my face right against her cunt

"Anything you want baby", I promise her

"You, I want you"

"You have me baby", I answer, "Always"

I kiss her pussy again, then slide my tongue all the way in, moaning as she squeezes my tongue hard

I moan in her cunt, pulling my tongue out then slipping back in

I thrust in and out of her hole, slowly increasing my speed with every thrust

Her pussy soaks my face, drowning me just how I like it

I swallow her juice over and over, so much of it filling my mouth, while her pussy creams my tongue

"Mmm jagi", I moan, lost in her cunt, "So good baby. Fuck, taste so good. Love eating your cunt"

"Hwannie", she whines, her hips moving against my face as I pleasure her

"Good girl", I praise her, continuing to fuck her little hole

We move together, her cunt throbbing around my tongue faster with each stroke, with each grind against my face

"Seonghwa", she moans,

I thrust my tongue as far as I can inside her cunt just as cums, her legs shaking hard around my head

Her pussy spasms so tightly around my tongue, her cream coating it and pouring into my mouth

I moan as her delicious taste fills my senses and I keep swallowing until I get it all

God, she's the best tasting thing I've ever had in my mouth

As soon as I get it all, I slide my tongue up, flicking her clit

"Yes Seonghwa!", she cries just as I wrap my mouth around her throbbing clit, sucking harshly on her

I close my eyes, reveling in the way her clit pulses against my lips, each spasm sending pleasure down to my already hard aching cock

I alternate between licking her clit, flicking it and sucking on it, her cunt getting even more drenched, it's dripping down my neck

She cries my name as she squirms on the bed, the pleasure in her face so fucking pretty

She's fucking perfect

I slip my tongue down, just to taste her cream and swallow it, then I return to massaging her clit

"Seonghwa", she moans, "So good, fuck"

"Mm, gonna cum for me again?"

"Yes!", she yells, "Yes. Please...need...need"

"I know what you need baby", I murmur, sucking her clit in my mouth and slurp hard on it

"Oh my fucking god yes, Seonghwa!", she screams and I watch the gorgeous sight of my jagi coming

So fucking pretty

I suck her through it, not wanting to let go but wanting to be buried in her cunt at the same time

I reluctantly let go, then lick up her cum from her hole, reveling in the sweet taste

I make sure I clean her pussy up completely before sitting up

She reaches out for me and I take her hands helping her sit up, her chest heaving

"Good jagi?", I ask, tucking some hair behind her ear

Her beautiful brown eyes meet mine as she nods

"Good baby", I smile

"Come lay down baby", she says

I comply, laying against the headboard, waiting for her

She moves on top of me, kissing me and I eagerly kiss her back

There is no time where I will not kiss her

Anytime she's willing to give me her kisses I'll gladly take it

After awhile she breaks the kiss, her lips moving to my neck, making me whimper from how good it feels

Her kisses keep moving down, spreading all over my chest so slowly

It feels amazing and I feel so loved, so wanted

She's the only girl who's ever taken the time to kiss my whole body, like I do to hers

"I love you", she murmurs into my skin, her fingers running along the side of my body

"I love you Jo"

I feel her smiling against me, her lips moving lower, kissing along my abs and lower stomach

She moves lower when I stop her

I don't need a blow job

Tonight isn't about me, it's about her, about me showing her how much I love her

"You don't have to jagi", I tell her

"I want to", she says

I shake my head, "I don't need it jagi. I-"

"Please Hwannie. Wanna suck your cock baby", she pleads, making her eyes big and innocent

Fuck, those eyes, they can get me to do anything

"Are you sure baby? You don't have to if you don't want to", I assure her

"I want to Hwannie. I love blowing you just as much as you like eating me out"

Huh, I didn't not know that

Now I do

"Can I?", she asks

I nod, "Yeah jagi"

She smiles and it blows my mind that she's happy to go down on me

Her head dips down, her lips pressing kisses along my hard length, my body shivering with pleasure

God it feels so fucking good, it's insane

She kisses my head, her tongue pressing against it, licking and getting my leaking cum on her tongue

She swallows, her eyes looking at mine, smirking, "So good Hwannie"

I swallow hard, so turned on

My girlfriend is the hottest girl on this planet

Her tongue runs up and down my cock, wetting me, then swirls around my head, pleasure creeping into my veins

I watch her mouth wrap around my head, sucking softly, sending bliss exploding into me

I groan, watching her move down my cock more and more, her sucking getting faster

Harder

"Oh god jagi", I moan, her mouth feeling utterly amazing

She bottoms me out quickly, deepthroating me, it feeling so good in her tight throat

Her mouth sucks desperately on my dick, her hands holding my hips hard

I can't tear my eyes from her as I move my hand in her hair, wrapping it around into a ponytail

She bobs her head, going up my cock, then back down fast, taking me in her throat hard, stars blasting in my eyes

She moves quickly, up and down, tears filling her pretty eyes

She moans loudly, spit all over, making the blow job so messy, just how I like it

"So good", I whimper, my body tense with bliss, "Doing such a good job, sucking my cock like this jagi"

"Mmm", she whines, her teary eyes moving to my face

It's too good and my body has a mind of its own, my hips lifting up as she comes down, meeting her bob and sliding in her throat faster

"Oh fuck", I cry

We start moving together, my hips lifting and thrusting into her mouth while she slides up and down, meeting my thrusts, a mix of throat fucking and deepthroating that feels phenomenal

With each move, we go faster and I'm right there

She takes my cock deep in her throat, bliss tsunaming over me as I cum

"Jo, baby, fuck", I cry, her mouth sucking and swallowing as I shoot cum in her mouth

"Mmmm", she moans, sending shivers up my spine, her mouth sucking all the cum from my dick

"Don't stop baby", I moan when I finish, oversensitivity hitting me

I can get past it soon, I want her to keep going so she can get me hard again

After a few minutes, I'm hard and I stop her

"Baby, come here"

She moves off me and I pull her into my lap, kissing her, my head spinning

How can her kiss always make me feel so good?

How?

She slides her hands in the back of my hair, her tongue playing with mine while my hands move up her body slowing, tangling in her hair

One of her hands slowly moves down my body, her fingers running along my chest, then abs, my skin on fire from her touch

Her hand moves between us, grabbing my cock, holding me up

Without breaking the kiss, she moves up then sinks down on my cock, her arm wrapping around my neck again

She moves down slowly, her pussy splitting around my hard cock, soaking me completely

God, it feels so fucking good

I lift my hips up, helping her get me inside her, her hips moving as she wiggles down my length

Once I get all in, we both moan from how tight of a fit we are

Fuck me, she feels so goddamn good

Always

So fucking tight, so wet, latching onto my cock and pulsing hard

She gently pushes me back until I'm laying down, looking down at me

Bouncing on me, she moves slowly but hard, taking my cock in deeply, her pussy squeezing along my length as she moves

Taking my hands, she puts them on her body

"Touch me Hwa", she murmurs

"Always jagi", I whisper, running my fingers up and down the sides of her body, her skin trembling against my fingers

She closes her eyes, biting her lip as she moves and I'm completely hypnotized

The way her boobs jiggle, the pleasure on her face, the way she rocks on my cock when she takes me back inside

She's so fucking gorgeous

"Hwa", she moans, when she rubs her spot on my head, shivers running up my spine

God, I love the way she moans my name

Screaming it, calling it, moaning it, saying it, I love hearing my name in her voice

The next time she comes back down, I thrust up, right into her spot, watching her pretty body shiver

Gripping her hips, I thrust up every time she comes down, my cock slipping in deeper, making her stomach bulge with each move

That's such a fucking turn on

"Fuck", she moans, her gorgeous pussy lips petaling open for my cock, her pretty hole slipping up and down my length, straining as it gets down to my base

As we move together, I keep hitting her spot over and over, stretching her wide open, her pussy clenching my cock in a vice grip, cream pouring out of her, soaking my cock and lap in it

She's close

"Look at me jagi", I call, wanting to see her cum

Opening her eyes, she looks down at me, meeting my gaze

"Cum jagi. I want to watch you", I say softly

Bringing herself down on me again, she explodes, shaking on top of me, her legs quaking around my body the sight of her coming so fucking ethereal

"Seonghwa, Seonghwa", she moans softly

"Fuck jagi, you're so fucking beautiful", I whisper, intense pleasure coursing through my body from her orgasm

I don't know how or why her orgasms give me so much pleasure, but they do and I'm fucking addicted to them

When she finishes, I sit up, wrapping my arms around her waist and turning us, getting her on her back, going on top of her

Slipping back inside her welcoming cunt, I begin thrusting in and out, slowly, feeling every inch of her pussy stretching for me

As I move, I can feel everything- every clench, every drop of her cream all over my shaft, every move of her fingers running along my back, her fingers running in my hair

It feels so fucking good

"Seonghwa", she moans softly, clinging onto me tightly as I make love to her

I bury my face in her neck, kissing her, breathing in the scent that is just her

"My jagi feels so good for me. All the time", I praise her, feeling her pussy pulse rapidly

She close

"Almost baby", I whisper, lifting my head

I kiss her jaw, then down to her boob, knowing what will get her over the edge

Taking her nipple in my mouth, I suck lightly and gently, loving how her hard nipple feels in my mouth

That's just what she needed because the next thrust and suck have her climaxing around my cock, her body arching into mine

"Seonghwa", she cries, squeezing my length so hard, over and over, throwing me into ecstasy

"So good jagi. Fuck me. I'm coming, I'm-", I moan, burying my throbbing cock in her pulsing pussy, shooting my cum deep inside her, "Yes, yes, yes Joanne, yes!"

"Hwa, baby", she moans, holding me tightly, milking my cock for every drop

"Yes jagi", I groan, the bliss so fucking amazing

As the pleasure slowly leaves, she pulls me on top of her, my head on her chest, her fingers playing with my hair

"I love you Jo", I tell her

"I love you Hwannie"

I smile, snuggling into her, so unbelievably happy

I stay in her arms for awhile, feeling sleeping as she runs her fingers in my hair

"Hwannie, don't sleep yet baby. I have to take your hair out"

"Mmm. Ok", I murmur

She giggles, "Lay on the pillow baby"

She helps me move, putting my head on the pillow, turning so I face her

I feel her sit next to me, her fingers gently taking out the rubber bands and undoing the braids, then finger combing my hair

It feels so good, she's always so gentle with my hair

She finishes one side, then turns my head to get the braids out of the that side, making me sleepy

No wonder she loves when I play with her hair

It's relaxing and feels amazing

"There baby", she says, "All done"

"Yeah?", I yawn, "All done?"

"Yeah", she confirms

"Good jagi", I say, then pull her down to me, cuddling her

"Hwannie", she giggles, settling in my arms, pulling the blanket over us

"Sleepy time baby", I murmur, "We have another performance tomorrow and we both need sleep"

She needs to be up at the same time with me since she's one of the hairstylists

"Yeah ok Hwannie", she says softly

Leaning down to me, she kisses me softly, her kiss full of love

I pour all of mine into the kiss, hoping she feels it too

"I love you Hwa", she smiles, touching my cheek softly

"I love you Jo", I smile, "So much jagi"

She nods, "So much Hwa"

She kisses my lips again, then lays her head on my chest, her arm around me

I move my arm around her, holding her as I play with her hair, relieved that she knows I love her more than anything in this world

🐉🐉🐉🐉🐉🐉🐉🐉🐉🐉

J POV

Seonghwa holds my hand tightly as we walk into the dressing room

Whispers begin, every one looking at us, Eun glaring at me angrily

Uh what the hell?

"Hwannie", I whisper, "Do you notice people are looking at us and talking?"

He looks around, "Yeah"

Uh ok, is he not worried?

"Don't you care why?"

"I know why jagi"

I blink in surprise

"Ok well why?"

He takes his phone out, presses on it a couple of times and hands it to me

It's his Instagram

I look at the picture and my mouth drops in shock

It's a picture of me and him

Standing by a pool

Him in his swim shorts and me in a bikini

That shows all my tattoos

I remember Hongjoong took this picture of us a few months ago when ATEEZ went to perform in Japan

The comment under the picture is- Me and my jagi. She has my whole heart. I love you jagi"

I look up at him, shock in my body

He smiles softly, taking my hand, "I told you I was waiting until I told you I love you before announcing us"

"Well yeah but so soon?"

He just told me he loves me yesterday

He nods, "I didn't want to wait jagi. I told you I was excited to show the world the girl I love"

My god, that's so sweet

But I'm also worried

"Baby, this isn't going to get you in trouble?"

I'm worried about ATINYs giving him and ATEEZ hate

"No jagi. I cleared it with the managers. They're ok with it"

Ok that's a relief

But there's still ATINY

"And ATINY?"

"They're ok baby. If you look at the comments most are supporting us. Of course there's some hate but we can just ignore those"

I look at the post, clicking on the comments, reading them

He's right

Most are positive, congratulating us, saying how good we look together, wishing us happines, praising Seonghwa for being brave and going public with his relationship

There are a few mean comments, mostly about my tattoos and scolding him for dating but they're certainly not the majority

"Are you...are you mad?", he asks quietly

"No baby", I answer right away, shaking my head, "I was just surprised that all"

"Is it a good surprise?", he asks shyly

The fucking best

I nod, smiling, "The best surprise baby"

He smiles, leaning down, his lips against mine in a kiss

"So how did you do it?", Eun growls

I turn to her, rolling my eyes

I'm on a break, waiting for the guys to finish with their outfits before retouching their hair

"Do what?"

"Get Seonghwa to announce your relationship"

"I didn't do anything", I snap, "He did it on his own"

"Yeah right", she snorts, "You had to do something. He'd never announce you"

God, I want to punch her in her bitchy face

"I didn't-"

"Did you beg him? Ask him to post the photo?", she says snottily, "Did you fuck him in exchange for the post? Blow him? Let him do whatever he wants to you like the whore you are? That's the only way I can see him posting this career ending post"

Clearly she didn't read the comments

"She didn't do anything of the sort", a growl coming from behind me

I turn to see Seonghwa standing being me, an angry look on his face

"She didn't beg me, she didn't have sex with me to get something out of it. She didn't even know I did it. It was a surprise", he snaps

"A surprise? For what?", Eun asks, giving me a dirty look

Seonghwa steps in front of me, blocking me from Eun's line of sight

"Because I love her"

"You...what?", Eun splutters, "You love her? You can't"

He snorts, "I can and I do. Not that it's your business but I told her I was waiting to tell her I loved her before I announced us. I told her last night and I announced us today"

"ATINY-", she starts

"Is happy for us", he cuts her off, "Read the comments instead of guessing. This is not a career ending move. And if it was I don't care. I love her more than anything. She's worth it"

My mouth drops at his words, my heart warming at his love for me

"And by the way, I heard all the things you said to her yesterday", he snaps

Eun's face pales, worry on her face

"To be clear, I would never date you", he says coldly, "You're very rude and just a mean girl. That is not attractive in the slightest. So they're is no way you'll ever have me or fuck me. So you can get that out of your head for good"

Oh my god this is amazing

The shock on Eun's face is hilarious

She really thought she had a chance with him

Even I knew she didn't but I let her talk

"I love Joanne more than anything. We are end game. I'm going to marry her and spend the rest of my life with her. She's my one and only. That's the end of it"

Oh my god, I have the best man in the world

I mean I knew that already but hearing him makes me so happy

Eun nods, her face so red, looking as if she's gonna cry

Seonghwa turns away from her, to me, looking down at me, "Are you ok jagi?"

I nod, "Yeah baby. I'm fine"

"Ok", he nods, "I'm sorry I cut you off from answering her but she just got me so mad. After what she said to you yesterday, hearing the shit she said today was the last straw"

I smile, moving closer to him, my arms around his neck, "Thank you for defending me baby"

"Always jagi", he smiles

"Oh and by the way", I tell him, looking in his eyes, "You're my one and only too Hwa. I'm gonna marry you, spend the rest of my life with you baby. My perfect man"

His smile brightens as he looks at me, "My perfect girl", he says softly

Leaning down, he kisses me in a searing kiss that has me seeing stars

I feel his love for me and bask in it

"I love you", I whisper after the kiss

"I love you jagi"

Smiling, I take his hand, "C'mon baby, let's go make sure your hair is good"

He nods, grinning, "Ok jagi", then follows me to a chair

[reevezs]

//lots of end-of-the-year shouting in this post, sorry if it gets too loud, I'm screaming into a read-more pillow... mostly.

there would be no Zach, Eric, and Ria (and Ver lol) without ByeNYC so:

thanks @byenycfm , its lovely admins, and every single member of the group, I obv won't tag all of you on an indie blog but I LOVE YOU. you're all amazing and amazingly talented, I love your characters. I'm grateful for Ria and her beautiful skeleton bio, thanks for letting me take care of this bby. thank you for *the* brotp I'll never get over, thanks for two heartbreaking ships and three heartwarming ones, for all the crazy headcanons we've got there, whether it's chasing zombies with an RC car or pushing one out of the window or down the stairs... most importantly - thank you for promising you'd come back after the group's hiatus and for actually coming back. we've created a community we wanna return to and we all deserve the biggest hug for that. 💙

thanks for coming back @renegadetulisrp , Old Ass RPers know what's up lol. we've known each other for more than a decade, holy shit. I love you and your babies - don't ever change, add more muses, write more crazy plots, you're one of my favorite reasons I'll always log back here 💙

@pleinsdemuses my bb! I love you and our 1000 verses where we hurt our babies for the plot and hand them some Happy Verse cookies so they don't kill us. my angst, smut, drama partner in crime, I don't think we'll ever run out of ideas. thank you for everything 💙

I don't know if I love us or hate us, @parvumchao , probably a bit of both lmao. it sounds like a threat, but I'll follow you everywhere, the dash without you is shitty. I love your muses - we don't have a single happy thread *shrugs*, but I really do 💙

@nikkiitalks , let's ruin our muses and cry over them like we're not responsible for their misery! thank you for finding me years ago and for keeping me. or for letting me keep you. I don't know, we're just holding hands and follow each other everywhere and that's how it should be 💙

another partner in chomper crime! I'm so happy you and your ocs joined BNYC, @myriadxofxmuses , so now our lovely nerd ship can sail in two verses, giving us diabetes! it wouldn't be the same without you, my dash here wouldn't be the same without you, I'm so happy I've met you! 💙

@ayakoito first-time husbands muns, I'm so happy for these two! we can have 100 threads and they find a new way to make me AWWW in every single one. we can ramble about everything and anything and I'm so happy to have you, but I'm sure you will understand when I say thank you for teaching me the most important word ever: verschlimmbesserung. 😂💙

thinking "oh god, so much cringe" already? it gets worse. more hugs and thank yous:

@plotsjotsandespressoshot and your girls - I apologize for being a shit partner and I miss writing with you, so we need a new thread or ten now lol 💙

@kierankyleculkin you hurt a bot but I think you're lovely 💙

@impcrsonatcr my fellow h.alsey human, big hugs! 💙

@thefvrious & @ghostsxagain and your chef's kiss muses - I'm a fan 💙

@dontcxckitup , @richardxoliverxmayhew , @kit-just-kit - I don't think you'll mind if I put your trio like this? that's how I see you, guys lol. your muses are among my all-time favorites. 💙

speaking of favorites - @notsoinnocentlittleangel I want you to know that Joanna is one of my favorite female ocs ever 💙

@brokenblondeprincess and pierogi is a full sentence 💙

@rcbf4 it's "Adam", not "Jake" 😂💙

@sugarandwhiskey and your lovely bby - thanks for popping on my dash 💙

@emeryfleming @corxunum @ghostsandmirrors @formaechao @heartxshaped-bruises @crew-from-capulet @bewitchingbaker @thxnymph @poisonedfire @brooklynislandgirl @thatslayer @facepeeled @alwaysanangcl - seeing you on the dash makes me happy 💙

people I've followed since my indie debut, @cheapxseats @heartonanoose - idk if you're still around, we haven't had a thread together in ages but thank you for the ones we had in the past 💙

[thinkinonsense]

Eat or Be Eaten ✦ Steve Harrington x fem!oc: S1: The Vanishing of Will Byers.

╰┈➤ Summary: In the dark corners of Hawkins, Indiana holds the gate to an alternate upside-down dimension. When a little boy goes missing in the town, Johanna Hopper and her friends gather to help find him before it's too late. Along the way, Johanna finds herself getting intertwined with the likings of a strange little girl and someone she claims to hate.

╰┈➤c/w: violence, cursing, angst, mentions of death

╰┈➤ word count: 2k+

╰┈➤a/n: I posted this completed fic on wattpad, but I thought I would post it here too. If you want to be added to the future tags list, comment on this, and I'll add you. Hope everyone enjoys :)

╰┈➤next chapter here

• November Seventh, Nineteen Eighty-Three

✦ Monday mornings were truly hellish. Classes felt longer yet, the rest of the day ran shorter. Your car takes forever to warm up, even after you kick the tires and curse at it. Some mornings the only thing getting you out of bed are your friends or the coffee sitting in the kitchen, waiting for you long after your father made it an hour ago.

This morning, it was the coffee.

"Johanna? Are you even listening?" The voice snaps me back into reality.

"Hm?" I blink at my shorter, curly-haired friend.

"Did you hear what I said?"

No, I did not.

"Yeah." I nod, removing the rim of my coffee lid from my lips. "You said, 'Something, Something, Steve this, Steve that, Something'."

The taller, red-headed girl beside me tried her hardest not to laugh at my comment but a small giggle escaped her. Meanwhile, my eyes flash around the hallway and past the parking lot doors, waiting for someone else this morning.

"I didn't say that."

"But I was close though? Right, Nance?"

She rolls her eyes playfully and shuts her locker. Just past her head, I spot Steve Harrington and his obnoxious friends approaching us.

"Morning ladies," Steve says, while only looking at Nancy.

Without much care, I lifted my cup over my mouth again when Barb looked at me, I put my finger in my mouth, pretending to gag at the scene. Nancy, Barbra, and I have been friends since fifth grade, so it's fair to say we know each other well.

"Someone looks jealous." Tommy H laughed, watching Barb and I.

"Not jealous per-say. Disgusted? Definitely." Barb shoves my rib softly, causing me to add. "No offense, Wheeler."

Apparently, that ruffled a few feathers but luckily, the bell for the first period rang and I could make a swift exit. As I walked into the classroom, I saw that most students were still waiting for Mrs. Young. Following in shortly behind me was Steve and Carol, Tommy's girlfriend, who is possibly the most annoying person I have ever met.

Steve sits in his seat right in front of me, blocking my entire view of the board with his immense hair. Ever since Nance developed this crush on him, I soon realized that he would be around regardless of whether or not I wanted him to be.

"Hey, did Nance tell you about tonight?" He asks, twisted in his chair to talk to me.

As I try to recall anything Nancy said this morning, I lick the bitter coffee residue off my lips.

"What's tonight?"

"I invited you guys over. It's a small get-together."

"Sounds like a party."

"Well, don't rat us out to your dad and maybe it can be." He smirks, trying to charm me.

"Actually I think he would enjoy a little party."

Steve rolls his eyes and then sighs, turning around in his chair when Mrs. Young walks into the room.

For as long as I have known Steve Harrington, he's been an entitled, silver-spoon-fed jerk. It wasn't until he learned that Nancy liked him that now he is trying to be a little less of a douchebag.

But still a douchebag, nonetheless.

✮

After fifth period, on my way back to my locker, I saw Barb waiting for me. Just a few feet away stood Steve and Nance at Steve's locker, making heart eyes at each other and tripping over their words.

"What's with the long look, red?" I ask, nudging Barb's arm while I unlock my locker.

"Nothing it's..." She sighs, debating on if she should say what she's thinking. "It's just that Nance is so obsessed with Steve."

That might sound rash but lately, it seems like all Nancy ever wants to talk about is Steve.

"Yeah, like this past weekend when we were out shopping, all she only cared about finding a new sweater that Steve would like."

"Exactly! I mean, I get that but..."

Barb's voice started to fade into a void while we were heading to Nancy's locker because, in the teacher's lounge, I heard someone say my dad's name, making me stop dead in my tracks.

"Did you hear that Chief Hopper is looking for that Byers kid? Apparently, he didn't make it home last night."

Byers kid? Was it Jonathan or Will? Is that why Jonathan's not here? It has to be.

"Johanna, where are you-?"

"I gotta go! I'll see you later!"

I turned around and ran out the back doors to my car. Tapping my thumbs on my wheel, anxiously while I sped over to Jonathan's house.

There were so many questions but I was too afraid to know the answers. Jonathan's car was parked outside but Joyce's car was missing.

"Jonathan!" I shouted, knocking on the wooden door.

"Who is it-"

The door opened and I sprung myself onto him, hugging him tightly. He was stiff until he realized it was me, relaxing into the hug.

"Dude! You scared the shit out of me! I thought, thought that..." I mumbled into his neck.

"It's Will."

My heart plummeted; to my stomach as I pulled away to look at him. Wet tears still stained his cheeks.

"He's missing."

We went back to Jonathan's room. A song by The Smiths played when we walked in. He turned it down and we both slumped down on his bed.

I could not believe it. Will was the quietest and sweetest little boy, how could he have just disappeared?

"Last night, he was supposed to bike home from Mike's house-"

"Nancy's little brother?"

Mike, Will, and their two other friends were quite a few years younger than us. Seventh graders to be specific.

"Yeah. He and Mike play Dungeons and Dragons with two of their other friends, Lucas and Dustin."

"Okay, then what happened?"

"I'm not sure. For some reason, Will didn't come home last night and we haven't seen him this morning." He sighed. "My mom's downtown talking with your dad about it."

"Well, somehow people are starting to find out."

"Who told you?"

"No one. I overheard some teachers talking about it at lunch."

Jonathan nodded then rested his head on my shoulder. I know he would never ask me this but I am sure he's wondering if this is how I felt when my younger sister, Sarah passed away.

Our parents have known each other since high school but it wasn't until Sarah passed and my mom left that I grew close with Jonathan. Sure, we had met before or gone to the other's birthday parties but once we hit middle school, we started to hang out together.

We listened to The Smiths' whole album in silence; just sitting together. Neither of us said anything until we heard Joyce's car pull into the driveway.

"Oh, Johanna!" Joyce jumped when she saw me in the hallway with Jonathan. "I was just with your father... Did he... Did he tell you about..?"

"No, Jonathan did," I answered. We knew it was best not to tell Joyce that the news was being spread already. "Is there anything I can do to help out?"

"No, sweetie," Joyce says, lighting a cigarette; and taking a seat at their table. "If you hear anything from your dad, let us know."

I nod before saying goodbye to them.

The house was hollow when I returned. Most nights it was like this, Dad would work late at the station and I would be here alone. It was different when I was growing up. Don't get me wrong, I love my dad. We've had our fair share of bumpy roads behind us but now, we only have each other.

In the kitchen, the phone began to ring.

"Hello?" I answered, leaning against the fridge.

"Johanna..." Nance practically sings into the phone.

"Yes, Wheeler?"

"I need a favor."

"What favor?"

I already knew what she wanted. Nancy likely already called Barb and wants her to come with her to Steve's house.

"Will you come with Barb and me to Steve's house?"

"Harrington house? On a school night?" I say teasingly. "Wheeler, you rebel."

"C'mon, Johanna." She whined. "Please."

"I'm the daughter of the Chief, remember? They don't want me there."

"Steve does!"

I roll my eyes, popping a candy cane into my mouth.

"Yeah, so he can get into your pants."

She hesitates then says, "That's not true!"

"Sorry, Nance. Try and drown Carol for me."

And with that, she hung up.

✮

The following morning, I waited by Barb's locker for fifteen minutes before the bell for first period rang and I realized, she wasn't there. It wasn't like her to miss school.

After fourth period, I finally ran into Nance in the girls' bathroom.

"Hey! Have you seen, Barb?" Nancy asked me.

"No, she wasn't in third," I answered her.

"She wasn't in homeroom either. I asked around and no one else has seen her today."

"Did you ask anyone from her band class?"

"No." She shakes her head. "I haven't seen her since We got to Steve's house last night then she just left."

"Without you?"

That was hard to believe, they are basically attached at the hip. Barb and I are close but they were on a whole other level.

"I went upstairs with Steve for a few minutes, then when I came back down she was gone."

I could understand why she would have left, especially if Nancy went upstairs with Harrington 'for a few minutes'.

"Try calling her house and I'll check the library."

Nancy nodded and we split up. The library was practically empty so even though I knew she wasn't in here, I still checked. On my way back to the courtyard, I ran into one of Barb's friends from band, Robin.

No, literally, I ran into her.

"Ouch! Where did you even come from?" She groaned, holding her shoulder.

"Sorry! Have you seen Barb today?" I asked her.

"Um, no but I'm heading to band practice so, I can let you..."

My brain tuned Robin's voice out because just right behind her head, across the parking lot, I saw Steve drop Jonathan's camera on the cement.

"I gotta go! Thanks!" I yelled before running away.

When I arrived, Steve and his friends were walking back inside with Nancy, leaving Jonathan to pick everything up.

"Nance!" I yelled, hoping she would stay.

"Sorry." She mouthed, following Steve back to the school.

Ripped photographs were lying there too. It didn't take a genius to figure out what these were of. One half-ripened photo of Nancy's naked back with Steve's bedroom walls in the background was under my foot.

"I swear I didn't mean to take those," Jonathan explained. "I was looking for Will last night and-"

"I believe you."

We picked up everything that we could of the camera pieces. That camera meant so much to him and it wasn't a cheap one either. Joyce worked many hours and saved up to get that for his birthday.

Jonathan left afterward, mumbling something about visiting his dad. Angrily, I went back to the school. Originally, I was looking for Nancy, but instead, I found Steve in the gymnasium.

"Harrington!" I yelled, causing all of the basketball players to stop their game and look over.

Reluctantly, he followed me out to the empty hallway.

"What?" He says, trying to come off as pissed.

"What the hell is your issue?" I hissed.

"Right now, it's you."

Is he joking right now? He has to be.

"I have no issue punching that so-called pretty face, Harrington. So, tread lightly." I glare, stepping forward.

The cocky look on his face made me even angrier. I've tried to give him the benefit of the doubt since Nance likes him but I have had it with him.

"That's because Daddy and his buddies down at the station wouldn't dare put cuffs on you." He says, leaning down a little in an attempt to intimidate me.

"Whatever." I scoff, turning around to leave. A larger hand reaches for my wrists, stopping me.

"Tell that little perv to stay away from Nance."

Without hesitation, I lifted my foot and kicked him in the shin. He cussed me out as he hunched over to rub the skin. I bent down enough to be leveled with his ear.

"Don't touch me."

✮

I didn't expect to see my dad tonight so I made myself a snack before work. Forgetting dinner altogether. My vest sat on the couch while I looked around for the name tag. That's when the phone rang.

"Hello?" I answered, pulling the cord all the way to my room.

"Johanna? Hey, it's Nance."

"Hey, I can't talk for long. I have to work tonight. What's up?"

"I called Barb's house but her mom said she doesn't know where she is."

Shit. I tuned out most of what Nancy was saying after that. My heart started pounding in my chest, Will and Barb? Both missing?

"...So, can you try and talk to your dad? Maybe he can find something out."

"Um, yeah. I'll talk to him the next time I see him."

I hung up and raced to the station, forgetting the name tag completely at this point. The police station was fifteen minutes away, and I made it there in under ten.

"Donna! I need to talk to my father!" I told her as soon as I walked in.

"He's not here, honey." She said, not even looking up at me from her desk.

"It's urgent."

"Then file a police report."

Half of me was tempted to jump the counter instead, I walked back to my dad's office to see if he was back there still. Donna was right, he was already gone.

"He's out looking for the Byers boy. I can leave a message." She sighs, following me in here.

"Never mind. I'll talk to him later at home." I huffed, storming out.

"You really are his daughter." She scoffed.

I know, I shouldn't have acted that way but I couldn't help it. Barb was missing and I needed to tell him as soon as possible.

The car was freezing the rest of the way to work. Stupid heat was going out again. When I arrived at work, I got out and hit my tires, mumbling curse words under my breath at it.

"Do you need some help?" The voice startled me.

"No, thanks," I said, turning around. "Robin?"

"Yeah." She laughed, throwing it in the bin.

"You're working here now?"

"Looks like it."

It would be nice to have another girl working here with me. Right now it's only me, Keith, and Nick.

"Did they seriously make you take the trash out in the snow?" I asked, joining her by the dumpster to help her lift the bags.

"Yeah." She laughs, tossing another in.

"Assholes."

We laughed together and headed back into the theater.

✮

"Theater Two, on the left. Enjoy your movie." My voice was flat like the Coca-Cola Robin dispensed into the cups.

"Did you see Barb at band practice today? After I talked to you?" I asked her after everyone else in the lobby left.

"No. Is everything okay?" Her back was still turned, filling up the popcorn machine again.

"Yeah, I just haven't heard from her."

Robin nodded her head but didn't say much after. Keith called her to his office, leaving me in the lobby for a few minutes. I didn't want to lie to her but, I wasn't sure if my hunch was right.

Nick comes up behind me, making me jump.

"Dude, you scared me," I said, noticing the seriousness in his face.

"Johanna..."

There's this dreaded look on Nick's face even though he's avoiding my eyes.

"The cops... um, they found the Byers boy... he didn't make it."

This had to be fake.

Yet, it felt so real.

✮

The following few minutes were hazy. I grabbed my keys and ran out to the parking lot. Robin said something about covering my last few hours for me.

All those years that I mourned a sister I barely got to know, came hurling back at me but only worse because I knew Will. The summers I spent babysitting him, hanging out with him and Jonathan after school, all the memories we had. Moments I can't get back.

The station wasn't far from work and Dad's cop car was parked out front when I pulled in.

"Dad? Where's my dad?" I asked Donna again. I must look like a mess with the empathetic look she gave me before pointing to his office.

"Dad, I heard... I heard about, about Will." I barely choked out.

He let me sob in his arms until I was ready to let go but the truth is, I never want to let go.

[hyuckmov]

You know.... when rockstar haechan 3 drops, ill be taking the day off from work and rereading all of it at once just to feel everything again the lust, the hurt and all the roller coaster emotions that comes with it. Ive been reading through the tags rn and gosh i cant wait, im so so excited to be hurt! I dont know how you just posted that stuff for all of us to read for FREE, its amazingg for realll!!! I love reading angst so much and this is the most hurt ive been by a fic. Like EVER.

Take ur time finishing part three, we know that the wait will be all worth it. And if u do make a taglist please add me so ill be notified when it drops 💕

And if u mayyyy, maybe u can share another snippet? Hehe love lots

omg 😭 it means so so so much to me that you feel these emotions so deeply from my writingsfnbjsnfgb i'm really happy you like it and i hope the 3rd part hits the way you want it to!!!

thank you so so much for supporting my works it really means so much to me that you trust me as a writer <3 ive been swamped with work again but still making time to write slowly - i think i basically have the plot i just need to write the actual scenes :) i'll clean up my taglist soon and i'll definitely tag u on it!

new snippet!!! honestly im so bad at picking these snippets because i just wna share major plot points w u guys but at this point i don't think it matters....more gut-wrenching nervous out-of-his-depth haechie

[umem1ya]

GOODBYE; jujutsu kaisen x reader

texting your s/o after they are gone.

✧ characters; gojo satoru, nanami kento, toji fushiguro, choso ✧ tags; mentions of death/suicide, angst with a bit of yuji love, boderline gen ✧ a/n; choso's timestamps are there just to show the days passing, ignore how it all says 'today' + more a/n at the end bc I can never shut up

✧ more a/n; wanted to add sugu and yuki but everything was feeling flat and I wanted to finish this as quickly as possible so you guys just get these four, sorry. if there are typos, sorry again I really didn't proofread this or anything lol. anyway, not sure I'll write for jjk at the moment so don't expect much ig ? I'll try to keep this blog on the windbreaker side, but I needed to cope for a moment before I go into a mini break for jjk I guess idk lol but anyway take those away from me thanks. hopefully I didn't damage you guys much more than I did myself LMAO

[innxrvision]

So long - pt. 3 𒂭

part 3 of 3 ------------ 𖦹 tags: james hetfield x reader, fluff, smut, best friends to lovers, bet, 80s james, a little angst if you squint ♱ a/n: so sorry for posting it a bit late, some things came up and I had actually a hard time writing the smut part. Wow... it's truly harder than it looks. I don't think I did too well, but hey! It's my first time trying! I think I do too much dialogue in general, but it's such a fun part... I don't know, is it too much? You guys tell me, please so I can get better on the next one! Any tips are very welcome.

𖦹 part 1 𖦹 part 2 𖦹 part 3 𖦹

You finish another round of beer before getting out of the bar. Your hands sweating nervously and your heart thumping inside of your chest as you two walk towards James' house, thankfully only a few blocks away from the place you were before.

The walk is silent, there's a tension in the air that makes your anxiety spike. Even though none of you were exactly sober, you became hyper-aware of every single move James made.

"So, ready for the best night of your life?" He cuts through the silence as you arrive at his front porch, trying to ease you up. Of course, he would say something stupid like that. "But before we get to the fun part, we need to get inside." He grins, fumbling in his pockets in search of the house keys. "Don't worry, there's nobody home." He adds as he unlocks the door.

"Shut up." You manage to say, your voice barely above a whisper, like somebody could hear you two at any moment. A silly precaution.

He chuckles, just loving how flustered you are, and waits for you to get inside, locking the door behind you. He doesn't bother to turn on the lights and holds your shaking hand firmly to guide you upstairs to his room.

"Don't worry, I'll take good care of you." He whispers, and you can see his grin in the dim light that enters his room through the window. "Are sure you're ready for this?" He searches your face for any hesitation, his expression now turned serious.

"I am. I won't back up on the bet." You try to sound confident.

The truth is you want this. You realize you wanted this for a long time, actually.

James leans closer to your face and tucks a stray lock of hair behind your ear, his fingers linger on your cheek for a moment and you hold your breath.

"I like the confidence." He teases. "But just so we're clear, you can back out anytime. You don't have to do anything you don't want to, ok?" He says gently, sounding quite different from his usual playful manner.

"I know." You nod, looking straight at his blue eyes.

"Good."

He takes a step forward, you're now so close that you can feel the heat radiating from his body. He slides his hand from your cheek to your back and brushes his lips against yours softly, a teasing that makes your stomach flip. You wrap your arms around his neck and before you know it, he gives you a peck, almost like he was testing the waters.

"Still with me?" He asks playfully, noticing the tensing of your body.

"Yeah." Your answer comes out breathier than you anticipated, your lips slightly parted and your cheeks flushed from just the smallest touches.

You earn a chuckle in return and with that he claims your lips in a passionate kiss, pulling you into his embrace. He deepens the kiss with a hunger you never expected or experienced before.

"You're so beautiful, you know that?" He whispers against your lips, breaking the kiss for a second.

You feel shy hearing such a sincere compliment coming from him, it makes you unsure of how to react, instead, you just glue your lips to his again in hopes that this will be a good enough answer.

James takes you in his arms and lifts you up with ease, his tall figure making the job easier. He makes his way to his bed and lays you gently, his body on top of yours. The light coming from the window reflects on his desire-filled gaze and you feel a excitement shiver run down your spine.

"You're ready for this?" He asks, his voice sounding serious. There's something different in him, a combination of anticipation and desire that makes your stomach flip once again.

You give him a quick nod in silence, impatient for what's to come. You try to not show too much you're more impatient than him, but since you felt his lips against yours for the first time it made you addicted. Your fingers wrap on his long blonde hair, near his neck and you pull it gently, earning a satisfied sigh from him.

He reacts strongly to your touch, giving you another deep kiss, one of his hands now holds your cheek and slowly it lowers down your body, ending up on your waist, where he gives you a gentle squeeze. You let out a small surprised sound that is met with James' groan against your lips.

"You're driving me crazy." He murmurs between kisses, his mouth now working on your neck.

He pulls you to him, both of you lying on the bed now, bodies sharing the heat. His free hands roam your body freely, exploring every curve and contour. You try to touch him in return, your moves too desperate to hide.

"I should have done this ages ago." He whispers against your skin.

"The way you react to me… I can't get enough of it." His voice is full of a raw feeling you never heard before.

You press your body against him and capture his lips again, desperate for some touch. You tug on the hem of his shirt and he grins against your lips, understanding your silent request. James breaks the kiss for a moment, sitting on the bed and removing his top just as you asked before wrapping his arm around your waist and pulling you back to him.

Your shaky hands meet his now bare skin, and you let your fingertips roam his torso while he keeps kissing your neck, licking and sucking the skin that'll probably show up bruised tomorrow morning.

"Tell me you want this." He murmurs in between kisses, almost like a plead.

"Please." You plead back, your voice barely above a whisper.

It wasn't in your plans to look and sound so needy, but at this point, you were too aroused to control your reactions.

He lets out a grunt in response and kisses your mouth with a renewed hunger, pulling away only to remove your shirt and your bra with a practiced ease, before tossing them aside. It makes you think he's truly much more experienced than you, a mix of jealousy and excitement clouding your mind.

"I promise I won't disappoint you." He says, making a trail of kisses that end up on your breasts. His tongue plays on one of your nipples while his hand pinches the other and it sends a wave of pleasure through your entire both that makes you whine.

You squeeze your legs together, trying to relieve some of the heat that has been building in between them, your hand tangles in his hair and pulls it gently which he seems to enjoy. James' tongue traces a path down your belly and he holds your thighs, forcing your legs to open.

He raises his head and looks at you, you look back a him, mouth parted and heavy breathing.

"I want you." He says. Such a simple combination of words that send you over the edge. You nod quickly in response.

He grins and lowers his head again, trailing the kisses back up again, which makes you whine in frustration. He goes back to your breasts, kissing and sucking the skin teasingly, even biting it softly this time.

"You're mine." He growls against your skin and you open your eyes wide in shock, but the the affirmation doesn't seem to cause the same reaction in him, the words flow naturally from his mouth. "All mine… Tell me you're mine." He adds, eyes closed, worshiping your body like he wouldn't rather do anything else in his life.

"I- I'm yours. I-" You stutter in panic and he opens his eyes, a grin adorning his lips. It's not like you never thought about being his, it's just that the sheer need and adoration in his voice caught you off guard. Was he just being impulsive? It didn't look like he was.

He savors your skin slowly, once again descending to your lower abdomen. It seemed like he was purposefully taking it slow, teasing you by touching your body everywhere except where you needed it the most.

His fingers finally fidget with the button on the denim shorts you were wearing, you bite your lip, watching his every move. He removes your shorts but keeps your panties and his head moves up again, taking your lips once more.

"James… please." You break the kiss.

"What do you want? Tell me what you want…" He asks, his fingers slowly teasing the lace edge of your panties, his thumb rubbing your sensitive spot with too little pressure for your liking.

"C'mon…" You're almost losing it and he flashes you his smug grin.

"You're so easy to tease." He whispers against your ear, his finger slowly making his way into your wet core. "Oh, fuck. You're so fucking wet." He groans as he circles your clit.

You look at him, mouth parted and heavy breathing. Hearing him talk like that while playing with you makes you go crazy.

James stops for a second, earning a protest from you, just to finally remove your panties. You take that chance to gaze at him, there's a visible bulge in his jeans and you barely had the chance to touch him yet.

But he doesn't seem to mind that in the slightest, he's too concentrated on kissing your thighs and playing with your wet core again.

You moan desperately, wanting to tell him you need more, that you need him, but without finding the courage to say it.

"James." His name slips out of your mouth and you whine, too late to take it back. "Please." You ask, hoping he will understand what you mean.

"What do you need?" He mumbles, kissing your lower abdomen as his fingers keep pumping into you.

"You."

He smiles at your pleading response, unable to hold back any longer, and gives your neck a final kiss before pulling back just long enough to remove the rest of his clothes.

You stare at him wide-eyed, taking every detail that you can. You watch it as he opens his nightstand drawer and pulls out a condom, unwrapping it and putting it on with ease.

He turns around to you, a gaze that tells you he could eat you alive right now. His eyes hungrily drink every curve of your body as he kneels into the bed, an expression of longing and lust on his face.

"You have no idea of how much I want you right now." He says, grinding his hardness against your core.

He enters you slowly, mouth taking you with hunger as you whine and sigh. A mixture of pain and pleasure.

"You feel so good." He breaks the kiss and he starts moving.

James' lips graze your neck, kissing it lovingly, and his fingers lightly caress the skin of your waist, leaving a trail of goosebumps. He's so gentle with you, his body moving on a slow and sensual rhythm, going deeper with every stroke. Just perfect to drive you nuts.

His breathing is hard and deep as waves of pleasure wash over both of you. You wrap your hands around his neck and hide your face on your shoulder, holding him as close as possible as he moves.

You keep going until both of your bodies and filled with sweat, a tension that threatens to snap at any moment. Your moans and gentle pleas near his ear make him get more and more worked up.

"Look at me." He kisses your cheek with care, tightening the grip on your hips as he picks up his pace.

You raise your eyes, connecting your gaze with him. The vision of his concentrated face makes you even more aroused.

He notices you clenching around him, trying to hold yourself together as best as you can, and kisses your mouth, fastening the pace. A kiss so deep and sincere that makes the tension inside you snap once and for all not too long after. You let out a needy cry, holding his body so tight that you're afraid your nails might hurt him.

"Just a bit more." He whispers, still pumping into you with the same intense motion. You can feel he's close too, his chest heaving up and down, ragged breaths, and shaking arms.

It doesn't take too long for him to come undone inside you with a low deep moan. He rests his forehead against yours, eyes closed and lips parted, you both trying to catch your breath.

James opens his eyes again and smiles down at you, his expression soft and loving.

"You alright?" He asks, laying down on top of your body as he's still inside of you, being careful to not crush you with his weight.

"Yeah." Your voice comes out breathy and you close your eyes for a second, trying to process everything that has happened.

"You're not backing out now, are you?" He teases you between breathless chuckles.

"I won't." You chuckle, it's impossible to stay serious with him.

He presses a kiss into your mouth and rolls off to the side. He reaches over and grabs his blanket, covering both of you and inviting you into his arms.

"C'mere." He wraps his arms around your waist and pulls you into his warm and bare body.

You stay silently for a moment as he rests his chin on top of your head, caressing your back and enjoying the feeling of closeness.

"You know I meant every word I said, right?" He breaks the silence to ask softly, his voice filled with a sincerity that shows just how much he cares about you.

You take a while to answer, trying to fit the pieces together like a puzzle. Did he want this from the beginning?

"Just… How? Why?"

He chuckles at your confusion as you shift into his embrace to peek at his expression. His fingers run gently through your hair.

"What do you mean?" He seems to find your reaction amusing. "I've liked you for a long time, actually. It was almost driving me crazy. He pauses for a moment, thinking to himself. "Maybe I just needed to loosen up before I could find the courage to take things any further, but I'm glad I did."

"I never thought you saw me as more than a friend." You say, trying to make sense of your words. "We've known each other for a long time, I thought you weren't attracted to me."

"Attracted to you?" He laughs in disbelief. "Are you kidding me? I've been crazy for you for ages." He breaks into a teasing grin. "To be honest? I'm still a bit in shock that I get to hold you like this… With nothing on."

You roll your eyes, the sexual tension slowly giving in to the playful banter you always seem to have going on.

"For ages?" You ask interested.

"For a while now." He admits nodding, his hand coming up to play with a strand of your hair between his fingers. He gazes at you adoringly, eyes shining with affection and tenderness. "What can I say, you drive me wild."

"This is crazy." You mutter, thinking of all the times you hung out together as friends. "And you never had a clue I was attracted to you too?" You ask curiously, looking up at him.

"Not at all." He shrugs, a tiny smile playing on his lips. "Until tonight, I thought you only saw me as a friend." He presses a soft kiss to your forehead.

"What gave it out?" You're still curious about his reasons. "What made you decide to act out? I couldn't have been just the alcohol…"

"You're very persistent, you know that?" He laughs softly. "It wasn't just the alcohol. I've noticed the way you looked at me, the small gestures, the way you smiled. I thought that if I didn't take the chance tonight, I might've never gotten the opportunity."

"Oh, so you really noticed. That's why you were pushing me to say if I was thinking about a boy." You feel your face heating up.

"Something like that, yeah." He grins. "Just wanted to make sure there wasn't anyone else on your mind." He laughs. "Besides… You were not exactly subtle when you were staring at me."

"Sorry." You mutter embarrassed and he presses a kiss to your cheek.

"Don't be sorry, it helped me to get the courage to shoot my shot." He smiles and hugs you tight. "And, shit, I wanted to do this for so long…"

[01zfan]

01ZFAN WRAPPED 2024

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE! 365 days, 74 fics, and 497,800 words later we are already into the new year! after being tagged in a year end post and being swayed by the timeline i want to kind of do a little something like a year end review of me and some of the works i posted throughout the year. let's go on a little trip down memory lane! here is my masterlist for the works i'll be referencing and much more. BLURBZ ARE NOT INCLUDED simply because i don't really count those as full fledged works and there's not much to say about them.

MY MUSES

OSAKI SHOTARO

8 fics 60.2k words

MOST COMMON TROPE: MARRIED COUPLE/ESTABLISHED RELATIONSHIP/FLUFF

OUTLIER: PRETTY GIRL DISCOUNT | HOOKUP/PLUG!SHOTARO

SONG EUNSEOK

18 fics 123.1k words

MOST COMMON TROPE: HOOKUP/ENEMIES WITH BENEFITS

OUTLIER: YOUR BIRTHDAY | ESTABLISHED RELATIONSHIP/FLUFF

JUNG SUNGCHAN

18 fics 110.7k words

MOST COMMON TROPE: ESTABLISHED RELATIONSHIP/FLUFF

OUTLIER: NOT MINE | CHEATING/ANGST

PARK WONBIN

9 fics 61k words

MOST COMMON TROPE: ESTABLISHED RELATIONSHIP/HOOKUP

OUTLIER: MOVIE | SECRET RELATIONSHIP/FLUFF

LEE SOHEE

9 fics 65.6k words

MOST COMMON TROPE: ANGST

OUTLIER: GOOD LUCK CHARM | FLUFF

LEE ANTON

12 fics 77.2k words

MOST COMMON TROPE: FRIENDS TO LOVERS

OUTLIER: SEE YOU AROUND PT. 2 | SOMETHING WITH BENEFITS/ANGST/BREAKUP

BONUS: MULTIMEMBER | 4 FICS

NOTHING IN COMMON. ALL OF THEM ARE CRAZY

FIRST AND LAST FIC

summer | s.es january 3rd, 2024

big shot | j.sc december 31st, 2024

of course i began and ended the year with my youngwonz. it's hard to tell if my writing has improved or gotten worse. i think the only way to tell would genuinely be to rewrite summer and see what i'd do different. i will say though deciding to go to autocaps was a good decision on my part because i think it makes for an easier read. i will say i went more in depth with the descriptions and everything in summer as opposed to big shot. but i will say i like how i don't need as many words to convey what i want to say anymore.

TOP FIVE FICS

twelve grapes | l.at 1,601 notes

paint you | l.at 1,385 notes

necklace | p.wb 1,369 notes

should've told me | l.at 1,251 notes

rainy day | l.at 1,155 notes

i understand now that you guys don't play about anton. like at all. i was going through all my fics like DAMN all of my hits are anton and then a short wonbin fic fighting for its damn life. thank you to my anton girlies i will try my best to keep you guys fed with amazing fics. i had no idea that any of these would be popular ESPECIALLY twelve grapes like jafnkjdfnkjsnf. you guys are amazing.

HONORABLE MENTIONS:

film it | l.sh 490 notes

this was a fic that some people put on their recommended list, and a few people i've seen put this in their top five when i asked all that time ago! i really liked the concept of skater!sohee and their little story together. i can see him having a little skate crew looking for someone to film their tricks. also a happy sohee fic we cheered! i loved the readers room so much it reminded me of the room i wanted to have as a kid heh.

(honestly any of my sohee fics could've ended up here even though a majority of them are sad i always really really really like how i end up writing sohee.)

miss you more | s.es 878 notes

this fic...this fic...no i really have to say i'm surprised this didn't even break top ten in terms of notes like i feel like everyone loved this fic DOWNNNNNN. something about the yearning and the angst and eunseok being a good father just had so many of us down extremely bad. i think about this couple so often and ever since my dear friend told me this fic reminds her of siena by the marias i think of them everytime i listen to it. this fic is probably the one i've gotten asked to do a second part for the most out of all of my fics. i do have to say though, it's never happening. the open ending and the ambiguity of it all adds so much to the story and makes it so real to me.

trigger finger | j.sc 898 notes

this is still one of my favorite sungchan fics i've ever written. i love love LOVE it and the story and the party and the buildup. i feel like so many people like this fic because it's so him like jsfkjdfnskdjf. the doting perfect little boyfriend who never gets mad and you just wanna push his buttons.

stress relief | o.sh 263 notes

the drop off on these notes but IDGAF IDGAFFFF i love my shortaro fics so freaking much. at this point i write them for myself and i will continue to do so because i love writing for him so bad. this fic is my favorite because i just love the love they have for eachother and the mutual understanding. also i love the song too sweet by hozier so freaking much too so i really enjoyed writing this fic and i feel like i set the scene so nice likeee he's coming home late and you're still up. this fic makes me sick to my stomach because i want shotaro so freaking bad you guys.

LONGEST FIC

seriez: argue with you | 31.8k words in total

JESUS CHRIST....no i was actually in shock doing the math the last part for this seriez was 17.9k words. this fic took so much out of me oh my goodness. i remember doing the third part as a special event for hitting 1k and it took me like two months to finish. i seriously can't believe i wrote that much and i don't remember any of it. if you were here for the argue with you seriez and you read it i love you with all my heart.

standalone: peach fuzz | 12k words

this fic ended up going over my original word count just becasue i loved the story so much. friends to friends with benefits to a secret third thing is something so dear to me. camp counselor anton you still have my entire heart. i really love the summer caamp idea so much and i really like the ending scene of them at the pier TT i always envision it like a movie.

HONORABLE MENTIONS

bike peg | 11.6k words

such an amazing fic to write. i love everything about this fic seriously. the runaway coming back home for rehabilitation. the scenery of the city on the water with nothing better to do than riding around on your younger sisters bike. the mutual understanding between wonbin and the reader. the sofa with the plastic still on it. like something about this fic is so homey to me and was so comforting to write despite the very sad underlying theme that i didn't even realize how long the word count was. i am genuinely so proud of this fic, it's like my baby.

contact | 11k words

a more recent work of mine. now this fic i read it so quickly i'm surprised each time that it's 11k words. i really like the story told here heh my only regret is that i didn't dive deeper into the funeral part of it. i kinda still wanted to make it readable without mentioning death too much but love and death keeps us together! (magdalena bay reference). but yesss i love this fic and i love each word of it.

2024 MILESTONEZ

so many things happened to this account last year! surpassed 1k followers, finished my first seriez, wrote my first multichaptered fic, got my first commission! i had no expectations for this account so everything i achieve here is always such a shock but i welcome it with everything in me seriously!

WHAT'S NEXT

finishing my rock the house seriez, doing alot of commissionz, doing next parts for several awaited fics, hopefully getting some more people to join this lovely community of writers so i have more things to nibble on. in 2025 i also hope to dabble and try writing darker stuff! not in the sense you may think, but i want to try writing things that involve murder, stealing, and in general just more morally ambiguous things. i don't want to reveal what i have in mind but i want to really try more things involving characters and getting better at scene descriptions too! ALSO. MORE HAPPY SOHEE FICS.

this was such a long wrapped i'm sorry but i was so busy this year LMFAO. thank you everyone for making this such an awesome year for 01zfan. i am super grateful for all of you guys, and i would genuinely really really really love to hear about your favorite fic(s) of mine from 2024 or what you'd like to see in 2025! i am open and i always love to hear what you guys think of everything hehe

[succumbtothenightmare]

Masked: Part Two Teaser

Please enjoy this new teaser cover/snippet for Masked! Not sure exactly when it will be posted. Hopefully soon! I will be posting the CW again, just so people are aware.

18+ TRIGGER WARNINGS: angst, fluff, language, stalking, breaking and entering, watching someone sleep, blood, some medical talk, a very brief mention of bombing and the aftermath of it, a scene of someone receiving stitches, two mentions of the use of drugging, murder, torture, and smut which includes p in v, primal play, knife play, branding, mask kink, chasing through words, consensual nonconsensual, oral with female and male receiving, fingering, possible anal play, bondage, and edging. I might add more to the warnings the further I get along while writing. But for now, these are all the warnings so please, read at your own risk.

A little longer than normal written snippet below the cut!

I sat slumped in the corner of the emergency room, nearly falling out of the chair as I tried to gain my bearings. Fading in and out of disassociation from the last few hours of work.

Blood. Destruction. Death; so much death.

I'd been an emergency room nurse for years and this night was the first night I'd been shaken this bad. All I could see when I closed my eyes was the bodies that were wheeled in, one after the other. It was quiet now, all of us doing whatever we could to save the ones that had a chance while the amount of red tags doubled with each passing minute.

"Hey," a soft voice pulled me from my thoughts and I gave a weak smile over to my coworker, Meri.

"You doing okay?" She asked while sitting next to me.

I shook my head. "No but I will be. I have an appointment with the hospitals therapist in thirty minutes. Just need to talk this out."

Meri patted my knee. "I think that's a good idea. The bombing at the local theater was pretty heavy. Good news is police caught the guy."

"Good," my voice was laced with anger but my body remained slumped in the chair.

"I know now might not be the best time to bring this up, given what happened, but a group of us are going to the local fair once our shift ends. I think it would be a good breath of fresh air; literally." Meri spoke while rising from her chair.

The photo in the pocket of my bloody scrubs weighed heavy as I thought about going out after my shift, already having a plan.

Don't believe his lies were written on the back of the polaroid photo of me holding a fresh bouquet of black petunias that were left in front of my apartment door.

The worst part wasn't the fact that someone had managed to get that close to me to snap a picture without me knowing. It was the fact that I had found this picture in the belongings of one of the victims from the bombing.

No one knew I found the picture, having to log it into evidence if I had.

Swallowing thickly, I glanced up at Meri while weighing the options in my head. I planned on figuring out where Masked.Omens lived to question this photo.

You don't know anything about him, idiot. You don't even know where to look.

Rolling my eyes at the voice in my head, I eventually nodded to Meri. Even though I had strict orders from Masked.Omens from earlier when he left me a note in my work locker to not go anywhere after my shift tonight because he planned on stopping by my apartment to see me. I had less than a minute in my break so I couldn't question how the hell he managed to sneak into the break room of the hospital.

Fuck him, he's lying to you.

"Yeah, I'll be there," I said while sitting up straighter in the chair. "I'll be there around seven."

Meri smiled wide while squealing, the aftermath from tonight already leaving her system.

"Awesome! The Ferris wheel is the main attraction of the fair. So we're definitely riding it!"

Giving her a weak smile, I rose from the chair and with a wave over my shoulder, I walked down the long hallway towards the breakroom. I needed to clean myself up a little bit before my appointment with the therapist.

Riffling through my bag in my locker, I quickly checked my phone and nearly dropped it at the text from an unknown number.

Unknown: I told you not to go anywhere tonight, angel. You might want to rethink your choices otherwise there will be serious consequences.

The brand underneath my breast itched when I remembered the last time I did something that had serious consequences.

How the hell did he know about me going to the fair tonight? It had only been a few minutes since I agreed to go.

Snapping my eyes up toward the camera in the corner of the break room, I flipped it off with a snarl when I realized exactly how Masked.Omens found out.

"Fuck you!" I seethed while throwing the picture and phone back into my purse, and slamming the locker shut.

[hoonfication]

. . . TWO TIMES A CH✶RM

IN WHICH ! xiao, your boyfriend for three years suddenly breaks up with you through text and then leaves the country leaving you with no explanation at all

three years had passed and here you are, you tell yourself you're over him and you're way more happy without him until you've heard that he's back oh that's fine you guys aren't even gonna see each other anyway wrong.

seems like he's going to attend the same college as you and well you're just in luck turns out he's also your roommate

or in other words. . . maybe its a sign that you guys should restart again, who knows maybe two times a ch✶rm . . .

— ❝ I don't even think that you care like I do ❞ ✦ a XIAO x gender neutral reader smau !

GENRE ♡ EXES TO LOVERS !? ♡ FLUFF ♡ ANGST ♡ COLLEGE AU !

— WARNINGS ✶ swearing, cheating (?), mentions of alcohol, & kys jokes

STATUS ↝ COMPLETED ୨୧ / TAGLIST ⋆ CLOSED

— ♪ currently playing ❝ Let You Break My Heart Again ❞ ♫

꒰ ✿ means written parts ꒱

✿ 𝗽𝗿𝗼𝗳𝗶𝗹𝗲𝘀 — 𝗳𝗿𝗶𝗲𝗻𝗱 𝗴𝗿𝗼𝘂𝗽 𝗼𝗳 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘆𝗲𝗮𝗿 / “𝘁𝗵𝗲𝘆 𝗱𝗼𝗻’𝘁 𝗯𝗶𝘁𝗲” 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝘆 𝗱𝗼. / 𝗲𝘅𝘁𝗿𝗮𝘀

— ❝ heaven knows I've tried ❞

✿ 𝗽𝗿𝗼𝗹𝗼𝗴𝘂𝗲

𝟬𝟭 h h he’s back!?

𝟬𝟮 what if this was my last straw (✿)

𝟬𝟯 I moved on, leave me alone!

𝟬𝟰 rumors are everywhere

𝟬𝟱 new lover

𝟬𝟲 not bothered tbh

𝟬𝟳 happy for him ig (✿)

𝟬𝟴 dorm life era

𝟬𝟵 oh my god pls be fr (✿)

𝟭𝟬 i will kms

— ❝ one day, I will stop falling in love with you ❞

𝟭𝟭 moving in (✿)

𝟭𝟮 tension is in the air

𝟭𝟯 you wouldn’t mind, right? (✿)

𝟭𝟰 so awks

𝟭𝟱 thirdwheel (✿)

𝟭𝟲 no i am NOT jealous

𝟭𝟳 jaw on the floor (✿)

𝟭𝟴 unexpected trio (✿)

𝟭𝟵 project over

𝟮𝟬 let’s go out as in a date (✿)

𝟮𝟭 are we abt to kiss rn

𝟮𝟮 just the two of us (✿)

𝟮𝟯 oh. (✿)

— ❝ some day, someone will like me like I like you ❞

𝟮𝟰 fucked up (✿)

𝟮𝟱 mission; avoid him at all cost

𝟮𝟲 let me come over pls

𝟮𝟳 drinks and feelings (✿)

𝟮𝟴 false hope

𝟮𝟵 we need to talk

𝟯𝟬 im sorry (✿)

𝟯𝟭 no more hoes

— ❝ then of course I'll let you break my heart again ❞

𝟯𝟮 stop lying (✿)

𝟯𝟯 cheaters can’t complain

𝟯𝟰 apocalypse (✿)

𝟯𝟱 let’s talk this out please (✿)

𝟯𝟲 I’ll think about it

𝟯𝟳 truth unfold (✿)

— ❝ some day, one day I will stop falling in love with you ❞

𝟯𝟴 is he flirting (✿)

𝟯𝟵 he wants u

𝟰𝟬 date night (✿)

𝟰𝟭 mixed signals (✿)

𝟰𝟮 he moved OUT?? (✿)

— ❝ until I do, I'll be thinking of you ❞

𝟰𝟯 he's leaving AGAIN

𝟰𝟰 give it

𝟰𝟱 oh em gee ganyu

𝟰𝟲 why r u like this (✿)

𝟰𝟳 ok u guys can stop kissing now.. (✿)

𝟰𝟴 let you break my heart again.

𝟱𝟬 happy ever after or not 😈 (✿)

extras

what if the reader ended up w/ ALBEDO instead?

# NOTES

✶ english is not my first language so pls don’t be so hard on me

✶ I’ll try to update frequently :D

✶ I’ll add you in the taglist! just ask! 🫶

✶ and here for the playlist of the smau created by the wonderful jellyfish anon

# TAGLIST — ✶ @thefandomcrow @sakiimeo @swivy123 @zappybatz @motherscrustytoenailclippings @chsyug @erisan01 @lylovw @scarletttcroww @retiredmommylover @sukunasrealgf @onmywaytoteyvat @mjtalksaboutanything @chronicfic @otomegame-oneshots @yukisluv @urdads @yuminako @etaerealboy @xxblackroses623xx @starringyau @dexocore @grvngexiao @tamikahoshiko @xoyumiqls @mechanicalbeat1 @ixromzi @lemo-nadde @moon-z0ne @articmaskeddemon @luvrzan @cayl33n @cupiro @lxkeeeee @rin-nyrasti-writes @nambii @livelaughlovekuni @quackimilktea @maxineshearts @yelleloww @chalksdreams @plinkuro @fangygf

[ bold means I can’t tag you ! ]

© hoonfication 2023, please do not copy, steal, and translate

[milykins]

Master Post

Hello, everyone. As I've stated before in my bio, this blog is rated 18+. My content may not be appropriate for all audiences and I will add warnings where appropriate. I will list my stories here with links for easy navigating. So far, I'll be keeping it to the TMNT fandom. The content I write could be from any iteration of TMNT but the look likely will be Bayverse because I just love them.

Thank you to everyone who's stopped by and has given me likes, reblogs and followed this page. I hope not to disappoint. Please keep reading if you would like to make a request or find other stuff I've written, I've put it all in one place.

Asks have been re-opened! Please click keep reading to see what I will and won't write.

Considering writing prompts and requests. I will do my best to fulfill them. If I get too many I will have to close it. Also the requests CAN be smut. Please keep in mind that there are certain topics and tropes that I will not write.

I will write:

Anything pertaining to the TMNT fandom. This is all I'm interested in writing currently.

Romance, smut, anything to do with love, friendship or otherwise.

Angst, as long as it resolves itself in the end.

Anything, silly, fun, fluffy.

LIGHT bdsm (spanking, blindfolding, sensory deprivation, rope-play or role-play, nothing too extreme)

Heterosexual pairings but I could also do nonbinary.

I will NOT write:

Hard bdsm, I don't engage in it personally and find it pretty difficult to write.

Anything non-con, all encounters written are consensual. I do not play around with that.

'Bully' romance or 'dark' romance.

Anything underage, all characters must be aged up.

Degrading language - I know it can be considered 'sexy' but it just doesn't do it for me personally. For example "You're my little b*tch." that kind of thing.

Certain kinks, I will let you know. Stuff like asking the guys to call the female OC 'mommy' that icks me out as does the 'daddy' kink.

Tcest or anything related.

Extreme violence

Character death

Headcanons

Hot Drinks

When You're Sick

When They're Sick

When You're On Your Period

Owning a Business

Dad HCs

Poly-Dad HCs

Losing Their Virginity Series

Mikey's Story

Raph's Story

Leo's Story

Donnie's Story

List of Requests/Asks

Worthy

Cold Hands

Just My Type

Golden Mornings - Contains mature themes

One-Shots

Halloween Hotness - contains smut and mild sexual harassment

Sunshine

One More Night - Contains abusive themes

Hacked

Balancing Act - Contains smut and naked shenanigans

I have fanfictions written elsewhere that I will also link eventually.

Thank you, and Happy Reading!

Master Tag List

Here

Please ask if you'd like to be added!

[aethelwyneleigh27]

Ellie Williams with a short plus size fem s/o

+ other dating hcs, can or can't be related to being plus size (up to you)

+ Loser!Ellie makes an appearance if you squint hard enough

A headcanon was inspired by this picture on Pinterest

Hi lovelies! Lia here, I was inspired by this picture and I thought you guys would really love the much needed fluff. I know I do from all the angst fics I've been reading ( No hate to Dina but wanted to crop her out of the photo but it lowered the quality and I just can't stand blurry pictures, so I guess I could live with it 😒). I'll add more to these in the future because at the moment it's a bit short but I wanted to get something out there. Hope you enjoy! :3

If you wish to be tagged, please comment that you want to be or follow so that you'll be updated also: Rules for requests

If you don't want to send requests through Tumblr, my Instagram is always an option.

Ellie Williams dating inspired playlist made by me

Disclaimers/warnings: English is not my first language, I'm still not sure if the character is OOC, teeth rotting fluff???

First time you ever encountered Ellie was through a cafe nearby. She was whipped to say the least, she was ordering on the counter and your name got called. You walked up to get your drink and she happened to look at you.

Ellie admired the way your clothes just hugged the curves of your body, if you weren't in a public setting, she would've probably drooled.

Ellie comes off a player at times, her and Abby Anderson are sought out by fangirls even.

Definitely plays basketball, you wearing her jersey? She's gonna show it off and be all cocky. "See that girl there? Yeah that's my girl"

We all know at this point that Ellie loves to draw. At some point her sketchbook is just filled with either every angle of you or your name in calligraphy.

Ellie also likes it when you trace shapes or words on any part of her body whether that'd be her hand or her back. You've traced "I love you" once on her hand and she pretended like she didn't notice.

I like thinking that she'd definitely let you draw on her hand if that's a habit of yours

Ink and whiteout stains on both your hands and hers, sometimes from using a pen and sometimes from drawing on each other's bodies.

You like reading books? Doesn't matter to her which genre, she still looks so smitten while you rant about them, let's be real here you do the same when it's her talking about dinosaurs and space.

Sometimes let's you do her makeup, thinks it's adorable when you look so focused and with so much concentration. She's all flustered when your face is so near to hers that she can practically kiss you if you leaned in any closer.

Ellie sometimes gets into fights with people so naturally you're there to patch her up. She likes to use her hands as a makeshift ponytail when you try to blow your hair out of your face. It's the least she can do.

Ellie has a lot of scars, she's a bit insecure about them since she absolutely hates how the look. To say you disagree is an understatement, those scars are hot and it's what sets her apart. You like kissing them? Watch her melt at the gentle and loving feeling. (Poor baby just wants to be loved 🥺)

Ellie keeps a hair tie on her wrist at all times, not for her but for you since she always has her hair in a half up, half down kinda style. (Kinda what she has on the pic above)

Ellie loves spoiling you, it can range from buying you gifts, servicing you or simply burying you in her kisses.

She used to feel jealous about your best friend till you explained that the both of you are like siblings in terms of dynamic.

Joel honestly wanted to meet you, his daughter told his stories of your times together and Joel couldn't be happier. He sees and feels that Ellie is so happy with you, that's all he wants, his daughter to get the love she deserves.

Ellie definitely wears his clothes, they practically share the same wardrobe. Which leads to her dressing more masculine like white tank tops, flannels, white button ups and tie on a formal occasion, cargo pants and the occasional hoodie. Ellie in a suit, Ellie in a suit, Ellie in a suit. (I would sell my soul to see that)

Ellie is a boxer wearing lesbian and I stand by that.

Speaking of hoodies, she buys herself those that are significantly a bigger size so you can steal it from her. Loves seeing you in her jacket even though you sometimes claim that it cramps your style.

You like fashion? Ellie loves zipping you up and helping you choose a dress. People staring? She'll put her arm around you to make sure everyone knows that you are hers. Has occasionally put creepy people in their place.

She's the "wear anything you want, I can fight" type of girl.

Loves doing tasks for you, opening doors, carrying heavy things and other manual labor tasks because her princess shouldn't have to lift a finger.

Hand on your though when she drives, a bit of a reckless driver though. Let's you control the music to anything you want.

[moremaybank]

COME HAVE A DRINK WITH ME !

hi angels! first thing’s first, i just wanted to say thank you for 4k! i can barely fathom the idea that even one of you enjoy the work i put out. you guys constantly make my heart feel so full, and i'm forever grateful for all your love and support. i could cry (i probably will). that being said, i'm doing a 'lil celebration event! below, you will find a series of options you can choose from to help celebrate this milestone with me! please be sure to add the name of the activity in your ask so that they don't get mixed up with my other asks!

characters i'll accept requests for jj maybank, rafe cameron, sarah cameron, steve harrington, eddie munson, and kai parker.

important please note that i will probably be a little slow getting these out as i try to juggle other things going on in my life and avoid burnout! also, it's not going on for as long as usual because i do have a christmas event prepared! be on the lookout for that next month 👀

EVENT CLOSED !

SEND IN YOUR ORDER ! 🍾✨

🍸 A DIRTY MARTINI ꒰ — nsfw baby blurb with a character of your choice! ꒱

🥂 A GLASS OF CHAMPAGNE ꒰ — sfw baby blurb with a character of your choice! ꒱

🍻 A PINT OF BEER ꒰ — send me a character and i'll give you a couple of fic recs for them! please specify if you prefer fluff, smut or angst. ꒱

🍷 A GLASS OF WINE ꒰ — let me tell you what i love about you! mutuals only. ꒱

🍹 A TEQUILA SUNRISE ꒰ — send me a concept and i'll make you a moodboard! ꒱

# ꒰ — come have a drink with me! ꒱

tagging some moots (sorry if i forgot to tag you, my memory is worse than anything you've ever known): @rafesmuse @rafesveryrealgf @slut4drudy @jjmaybanksgun @jjsbank444 @dreamingwithrafe @perseephoneee @amournoir @inkluvs @moon-in-nostalgia @tinyluvs @drewstarkeysbae @venuslore @cal-flakes @emmalandry @rafeysbafey @madelynie @cantstoptheimagines @maybanksbabe @thatsthewaythechrissycrumbles @slvttyfied @surftrips @hotchsstuff @sevenwivesofrafecameron @lyndys @rafestar @mvybanks @sweetestdesire @pankowperfection @forevermoreharrington @ghostlyfleur @eventualoptimism

[yuyu1024]

One and only

Pairings: San x Y/N

Genre/tags: established relationship, mafia

Warning: fluff but still 🔞 smut/angst, unprotected sex, cursing, semi public, pet names, jealousy, clingy, mention of blood and death, blowjob/handjob [lmk if i miss anything]

Words: 4.4k

Disclaimer:

- this story is just made up

- english is not my first language, please be nice 😊

Note: posted this during holidays🎄⭐️ but i deleted my acct bcoz of stupiditttyyyyy? 🙃 anyways... almost done reposting my one shots. I'll try to post my short series soon.

***

It's holiday season. Everyone you know are all busy preparing for the coming christmas. Your friends are busy buying gifts for their love ones and they are also excited planning all their trips or dates with their each own special someone. Whilst you on the other hand, you are not planning anything.

"Y/n, what are you going to do this christmas?" One of your friend asks

"I'll be visiting my parents on the 25th." You answer

"That's all?" She asks

"Do you want to come with us? My family are going on a staycation on this fancy hotel... I can ask them if I could bring you." The other friend suggested

"No... it's fine. I'll be at home. I deserve a break too from all the work I've been doing..." you answer

"I get it... you deserve it yes.. but... are you not sad you are not spending Christmas eve with someone...?" The first friend ask

"Even a date?" The other one adds. "You know... if you only accept the guys wanting to take you on a date or atleast get to know you... I'm sure you have a boyfriend now."

You laugh at how worried they are with you spending Christmas eve alone.

"I'm fine. I'm happy."

Being the "single one" in your friendship group is nothing new. It's not that you don't want to meet anyone or get to know someone but it's just that you are not actually single. None of them knows that you have been dating this guy for quite some time now.

You are not hiding him or your relationship because you are embarassed about him. You are just respecting his privacy and for safety reasons as well.

He is the son of the leader of the famous mafia in the country. Everybody knows their family. They fear them. Everyone thinks they are the most dangerous beings to exist. However little did they know, they only look mean as hell. But these men, all have hearts and kindess to help anyone in need. They just don't publicize the good things they do.

"Okay... whatever you say... just call us when you need someone to talk to when you feel alone."

"I'm fine girls... seriously... and enjoy your vacation. Don't mind me. Spend your time with your boyfriends and family... okay?"

"Okay." Both of them say at the same time.

"Great!"

Then after a few more minutes chatting with them your phone alarm buzzes. It's a reminder.

"Oh crap! I need to go now!" You say in a hurry. "I had to go to this shop my mother told me to go... I need to drop her gifts for her friend who's in the city for vacation."

"Okay... sure..." both your friend stands up and hugs you.

"Happy holidays! See you after more than a week." You say

"See you and stay safe! Be careful running in the snow okay? You are clumpsy." The first friend says

"I will."

"Bye!"

You wave goodbye one last time before running out of the coffee shop.

You are really in a hurry. It is true that you have to meet your mother's friend to give them the gift. You were supposed to meet the park near the hotel they're staying at. It's not that far from where you and your friends met so you just decided to walk from there.

Then while you are on the walk, you decides to text your lover to let him know where you will be at.

Y/N: I'll be at the park in front of Crescent Hotel. Meeting my mom's friend to give her present.

After sending the text, you put your phone in your sling bag and didn't checked if he read it or replied. You are in a hurry so it didn't crossed your mind.

"Y/n?" A motherly tone of voice calls your name as you just walk pass through the crowd to step foot in the vicinity of the park.

You turn around and see Mrs. Jung together with her son waving at you. Smiling, you carefuly run towards them and quickly hug Mrs. Jung. "Long time no see!"

"Indeed!" She hugs you back and pats your head. "Oh my gosh! You have grown... such a beautiful lady."

You shyly giggle as you can't accept the compliment very well. For you, you just look alright. Not as beautiful as your mother.

"It's been so long since you last came back..." you say

"Yeah. We didn't get the chance to come back the last two years. But we're here now." She says smiling

"By the way, this is mother's gift. She says sorry she can't give it to you personally. She's at the province now taking care of grandpa and grandma."

"Oh, it's fine. I understand. Tell them I wish them a happy holiday and good health."

"I will."

Then her son, Wooyoung, standing next to her greeys you. "Happy holidays."

"Happy holidays." You smile back.

You two then hug and pat each other's back.

Wooyoung and you are classmates in highschool. You two became friends because of your parents. Before you two would always have sleepovers so you could both play and watch movies together. But since they migrated abroad, you two became a little distant. Still friends but not as close as before.

Plus one factor that might've affected that is before he flew away, he confessed his feelings for you. That he liked you. However, you told him that even you like him too back then being highschool and being in a long distance relationship is not ideal for the both of you. It's sad but it is true. Especially bot of you were so young back then.

"You still as pretty as I remember." He says to you

"Stop!" You hit him on his arm. "You still compliment me like the way you used to in highschool." You say.

"You know I'm just being honest." He says, warmly smiling

"I know." And then you notice that he looks mature that from what you remembered seeing him two years ago when they last visited. "You look different."

"Well it's his married aura now." Mrs. Jung explains

"M-married?" You gasp looking at them two back and forth. "You got married?"

Wooyoung is smiling ear to ear. "Yes." He answers then showing his ring. "I got married to the love of my life just almost a year ago."

"Oh my gosh! Congratulations!" You jump and hug him again. "I'm so happy for you!" You clap as you let him go. "Is she with you guys?"

"Unfortunately no... she can't travel because she's just a few months pregnant and she's in bed rest."

"Married and soon to be father!" You are estatic. "What a blessing!"

"Thank you!" Wooyoung is so proud and happy about her wife and their soon to be child.

The catch up with the Jung's is so light and warm. They all have good things to talk about that excites you. It's been a while since you saw them and you are so happy that everything is great with them. Especially after them losing the father figure in their family. You are glad they are doing well.

****

An two hours later, you are on your way to your apartment building, carrying a few things you bought from the groceries that you need at home when you decided to check on your phone.

SAN: I thought you're meeting your mom's friend. Who is the guy you are hugging?

SAN: You hugged him not once but twice!

SAN: why are you touching his arm.

SAN: why are you laughing so much :(

SAN: who is he?????

SAN: baby

SAN: baby...........

SAN: stop talking him.

SAN: baby!

SAN: :(

SAN: you are leaning on to him?????

SAN: are you cheating on me in public?

SAN: HE HUGGED YOU

SAN: AGAIN

SAN: WHAT. IS. THIS.

SAN: baby!!

SAN: ㅠ_ㅠ

You snort a laugh as you read how he whines in his texts. You could hear him say all these even just from the messages. He's so jealous.

Y/N: where are you?

(No reply)

Y/N: okay...

Y/N: If you don't reply...

Y/N: you're not welcome to come inside my apartment again.

Y/N: bye~~~

You proudly smile after you sent the text. Coz you know San will immediately rush to get to you after reading your text.

However, what you didn't expect is that minutes later when you're about to turn to the corner of your building and about to get to the steps to the entrance, you notice a tall figute standing. It's San.

"You're not going to invite me in your apartment anymore?" He says his brows arching and lookinh down at you.

He's wearing something casual and comfy. A beanie, black fitted shirt and a grey sweat pants.

"What are you doing here?" I ask, "And why are you wearing so little clothes! It's cold!" I rush to him

"You said you will not welcome me in! So I ran!" He is sweating and you can see heat coming out of his body.

"Ran from where?"

He pouts. "There." He points at the black car parked across the street.

"I see... so... you were following me?"

"No." He looks away

"I thought we've agreed about me having one bodyguard... camouflaged as a normal civilian in a distant... why are you following me now?"

"I promise. I was not supposed to follow you..."

"But?"

He looks down and takes the the two shopping bag you are holding. "I miss you... I was at the gym when I received your text that you were going to meet a family friend..."

"And...?"

"And... I thought I could pick you up... give you a ride home after..."

"But...?"

He sighs, giving up. "Fine. I'm sorry. But I do swear... I went out because I really do miss you."

"Then if you do miss me....why just let me know... visit me... we can hang out."

"Sorry."

You chuckle as you see him lower his head even more. He's so cute when he's like this. A total 180degrees opposite of his charisma when he's in his mafia mode.

"So... you want to come in and stay?" You ask tilting your head to the side, searching for his face. "But if you have plans or things to do with work... it's fine. Beside, I'll be leaving tomorrow to visits my--"

"You're leaving?"

"Yes. I did told you about my grandpa being sick right?"

"Oh. Right."

**

Both of you then start to walk in the building. You want him to get inside quick and get warm since he forgot to bring a jacket with him.

People who you walk pass as from the lobby to the elevator are all looking sus as they see San. They must be thinking how crazy he is walking around with such little clothes during winter season.

But knowing San, even though people give him looks and judgements he does not give a fuck.

"Would you like a hot milk? Maybe hot coco or..." you ask as you both reach your apartment door enterimgg your pin. "a warm jacket to bring when you leave? You still have a few clothes here with me... the ones you left..."

Then as soon as you enter and the door beeps signaling its locked and closed, San drops the two shopping bag on the floor and cages you in between his arms.

"I've missed you." He mumbles into your ears.

You close your eyes, lean your head on his shoulder and allow him to embrace you tightly. "Me too."

"I'm sorry I've been away this past few weeks..."

"It's okay."

"I wish I could've helped you decorate your place."

"You're so sweet." You whirl around to face your lover. "I know you are really not into Christmas really... it's fine. I don't want to force you to do it every year with me."

"No..." he pulls you in closer and places his hand at the back of your head. "It's important to you... so I have to... you know you are my everything. And I will do anything to make you happy."

"Aww..." you lay your head on his chest. "You're the sweetest tough guy that I know."

He tenses a little. "I should be the only sweet and tough guy you know!"

You laugh at his reaction. Your lover is a jealous type and he does not know or even tries to hide it. You sometimes like to tease him about it.

"Hmm... I don't think so..." you let go of him and take the two shopping bags from the floor and go straight to the kitchen. "I know a few..." you add before you start unpacking the groceries

"Baby..." he follows you to the kitchen.

"I have classmate and still friends with are tough guys. They are sweet and kind too."

"Who? What do they do? Are you talking to them? I need to know details about them!" He is sulking

While you on the other hand, just enjoying his reaction. "Also... Wooyoung..."

"Who??!?"

"Wooyoung..." you repeat. "He's the first guy whoever protected me... from the bad guys..."

He goes silent.

"He protected me to the bullies in highschool. He's a cool guy. And....sweet."

He is though. Wooyoung is such a good person and reliable.

"Is that the guy from earlier?"

You nod as you finish the rest of the unpacking. "We finally saw each other after two years..."

"You knew him before me?" He sounds a bit hurt

"Yes. I know him since highschool." You answer before you walk out of the kitchen and finally removing your coat and scarf revealing your knitted top. "He migrated abroad with his family..."

"Is he your ex?" His face suddenly changes. He's not sulky anymore. He's more on the really jealous San now.

You appoach your lover, who's standing in the middle of the room, take his hand and kiss his knuckles.

"No..." you suddenly reasurre him. "Don't get jealous okay? He's a friend."

"But you hugged him... three times." He pouts

"Because I was so happy to see him plus he told me good news." You put your hands around his waist and give him a quick smooch on his lips. "He got married and expecting his first baby..."

"Oh." San's lips slowly curves into a smile.

"So... now you're smiling."

"Well..." his cheekbones show his happiness

"Why are you getting jealous all the time huh? You know you're my only lover..."

"They are a lot of hunters in this world baby. And you are one heck of a prey." He lowers his head, leaving delicate kisses on your jaw. "If only I could tell the whole world you are my queen...my everything... then boys will not try to hit on you."

"It's okay... and I don't care about those boys... I have you. My Sannie. You are all I need and want in my life."

"Aww baby..." his hands goes lower, cupping your ass with both hands. "I love you..."

"I love you too."

He hums and then nuzzles his face with yours. "Maybe I should stay for the night..." he smiles, "What do you think?"

"I think you should..." you whisper before crashing your lips to his.

The sweet smooch gets deeper the moment he opened his mouth and allowed you to explore your tongue in there.

The sound of your kisses echoes all throughout the apartment. Kisses that are longing and hungry. Kisses that are in duet with his whiny moans.

"Fuck." He smiles and looks at you with endearing eyes. "Baby, you're driving me insane!"

"Do I?" You kiss him again. Teasing him by sucking his lower lip before letting him go.

"Maybe let's have dessert first before we have dinner." He pulls you up and you automatically wrapped your legs around his hips. "I'll cook later... don't worry."

"I love desserts." You say

"Perfect."

He carries you from the living room to your bedroom. He slowly puts you down in bed, sitting, before he goes down to his knees so you're eye to eye.

"May I undress you?"

"Please..." you kiss him on his cheek. "My Sannie."

A grin forms on his lips. He starts from pulling your knitted sweater off, revealing your black bra filled with your plump breasts. Then his hands goes from your behind to unzip your skirt. You helped him by getting up a little so he can pull it down in a go.

"Hmm." He bow down his head and lay his cheek on your thighs.

"You're so warm..." you murmur. You placed your hand on his bare face.

"I'm warm because of you." He raise his head to look at you. "I am alive because of you."

"San..." you call his name and kiss his forehead.

The way San say you are his everything and his life can sound exaggerated to others. However for him, he meant it. And people will understand why he says it like that if they know the full story how he and you met.

***

You two met more than two years ago. You were on your way home from your work at night. You decided to drop by a pharmacy to buy your first aid kit supplies because you've ran out. You are clumpsy and usually hurt yourself when cooking so you always need it refilled from time to time.

And then while you were on your walk, under the pouring rain, you heard noises from a dark alley just a few blocks away from the pharmacy. At first you wanted to just ignore it but then the moment you saw the guys guys wearing baggy clothes and masks, you made sure you made a sound that will startle them thinking someone is coming. It was effective coz they fled.  You saw them ran and you panicked but luckily they didn't hear or saw you. As you were hiding from across the street.

You waited a few minutes before completely running across to check who got hurt.

When you got there, San was on the floor. He was beaten up, sitting and his back leaning on the wall. His eyes were closed and not answering you when you asled him if he's fine so what you did was dial the hotline, for help.

However, after a few rings San abruptly grabs your phone and ends the call.

"What are you doing?" You asked, panicking. "We need to call the ambulance... or the police..."

"No." San insisted. "I can't go to a hospital."

"Why not? You're bleeding!"

Blood was running down the concrete and straight to the drainage.

"It's not deep." He mumbled

"What the heck? You are bleeding! You might die!"

He smiled at you even his face was bruised and his one eye barely opening. "If you keep talking loud... they'll come back. And then we'll both die."

You covered your mouth and looked around.

"Just help me get up and go to my car."

"Are you sure?" You say quietly

"Yes. I can't go to the hospital nor the police right now." He grunted as he tries to get up slowly. You helped him immediately. "I have my first aid kit in my car."

"I have to... in my bag." You said as you try to carry his weight, his arm around you.

"Good girl." He said.

You helped him with his cut. You are not the bravest person in the world but back then you managed to clean his cut,  staple it, covered it with bandage and even helped him get into his new set of clothes.

Yeah, the day you first met San you already saw him naked. You were stunmed when he asked you to undress him completely especially when you saw his length up close and personal. But you forced yourself to be focus that time. And hurray to that you managed to undress and dress him.

"I'm sorry... this is our first time meeting..." he said, grunting in pain.

"It's fine. Glad I could help." You said as you finally relax beside him at the backseat.

"You're wet."

"Excuse me?" Your eyes widened, making laugh

"I meant... your clothes."

"Oh." You blushed so bad. Embarassed.

"I have one extra shirt. It's big enough to be your dress... if you want to..."

You didn't answered him.

"I'll look away. Promise."

"Okay. I don't want to get sick."

You picked the extra black shirt from his luggage. You started to undress the second he looked away. The car is heavily tinted and the parking lot is closed so no one is around except you two and his car. So you felt a bit at ease undressing even you should not.

Long story short. After that night, San became obsessed with you.

He thanked you hundred of times and made sure to get to know you. He thought he was doing all of it because he's just thankful. That's it. But then even just a stranger, when you almost got into trouble because of his life, he learn how important you are to him.

Since then San kept you safe. You have guards 24/7 and always around you. And because of that almost incident, you can't publicy reveal your relationship.

***

"Your scent...I love how you smell..." he murmurs. "It's the same scent I smelled when we first met." He kisses your skin in between your thighs.

Slowly he peels the thights off you revealing your cold skin.

"You're wet." He smiles again. Then kisses your stomach sending chills all over your body.

"Because of you..." you say as you lay your back on the bed.

He climbs on top of you slowly as he kisses every inch of skin. "My one and only..." he hums

"Your one and only..." you say before closing your eyes and absorbing all the sparky kisses he's giving you.

He pauses when he reached your shoulder so he can slip off his shirt, exposing his buff yet lean body.

"Look at me." He says

You open your eyes, seeing his pecks, firm arms and tight abs. "You're so beautiful..." you mumble

He leans back down so he could kiss you again. He sucks your tongue before he insert his to your mouth. Exploring every bits of you.

"Oh San..." you moan his name as you switch places with him.

You are now on top. Lips still attached to his whilst you unhook your bra and throw it on the floor.

You take his hand and make sure he gets a handful of you. "Damn..." he snarls looking down and admiring your bouncy breast.

"I love it when you touch me." You breathe as you watch him enjoy squishing your boobs while you move your hips, making sure your clothed wet core is rubbing over his still covered dick.

"You sound naughty..." he smirks, reaching for another kiss.

"Only for you." You kiss back.

Everything is going smoothly and steamy between you two. You continue to make out and enjoy every bits of moment you can have. Not until San's phone rings.

"Oh for fuck's sake." He throws his head back, frustrated.

"Answer it. It might be important..." you say as you stop kissing and licking his peck.

"I'll make it quick." He says before he picks up the call. "Yes?" His voice changes in seconds. Firm and husky.

You don't mind him working like being on meetings or doing phone calls when you are together. You understand his job. All that matters to you is, he's with you.

***

The call have now passed 15minutes. You are starting to get bored. You know the call is important. It sounds important. However, you are as horny as fuck. You two have been making out and teasing each others kinks since earlier so your naughty hat is on.

You smile to yourself as an idea hits you. "I love you..." you whisper, which he can only hear.

His glances down at you quickly, smiling, before he continued listening to the person across the line.

The smile is not enough for you as a reaction. You get up on your knees and kneel between his legs. He is watching you. You already got his attention just by showing him again your figure.

"I love you..." you whisper again. But this time it sounded more alluring.

You bend down to reach the waistband of his sweatpants and pull it down, just enough to let his length free. He is hard as a rock.

"Baby..." he whispers his phone is away from his face.

"I'm entertaining myself as I wait." You answer.

"Ah, yes I'm still here. Sorry." He says to the person he's talking too.

Lowering your head, you open your mouth and let your tongue touch the tip of his length. You could feel his body tenses as you do it more.

"Ahm... yeah. I get it." His voice breaks for a bit there. He cleared his throat and then grabs your one wrist with his free hand. "Maybe... we should wait." He says

He is referring to you but I guess his answer matches the topic they are talking about. But as you being a tiny bit naughty tonight, you shake your head and continued to tease him.

Giving him little kisses and licks at the beginning before fully sucking him hard and whole.

You watch him as pleasure him. He's working so hard not the break and moan your name like the usual.

You know he likes what you are doing. He is leaking and his length is twitching at every swirl of your tongue around it.

"Can we talk about this some other day?" He snaps. "I just need to fuck my girlfriend now or I'll explode." He was silent for three seconds and then, "good." Then he ends the call and throws his phone on the floor.

"Who is that?" You got worried by him saying he'll fuck you instead of continueing the business call.

"It's Seonghwa. And don't worry about him." He grabs you by your hair pulls you a bit closer. "Focus on sucking my dick... and make me cum."

A grin spreads across your lips. "What will be my reward... if I make you..." you then teasingly lick from bottom to tip. "Cum?"

He grabs you by your jaw and kisses the corner of your lips. "I'll fuck you 'till sunrise and make sure you can't walk... meaning you will need my help for you to visit your parents..."

You giggle, excited and challenged. "Okay... challenge accepted."

[bonny-kookoo]

Jungkook

Tongue Tied: Open Secret

In which Jungkook comes clean with his pack leader.

Tags/Warnings: Hybrid!BTS x Hybrid!Reader, Wolf!BTS, Dog!Reader, strangers to lovers, fluff, some angst, insecurities & very openly emotional reader, implied smut OOOOOH-, Namjoon/Jungkook focused

Length: short, drabble

A/N: There is no taglist. Also: Boo. Yes I just did that.

-> Masterlist

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"Jungkook.. are you telling me right now that you slept with her?" Namjoon asks in a warning tone- but Jungkook across from him simply nods, neither intimidated nor in any way insecure about what he'd just revealed.

"Like I said, I want to be transparent with you, and the pack in general." He offers. "It happened, it was consensual, it was no accident, I do not regret it, neither does she." He repeats his words in a more summed up manner. "And nothing you might tell me will make me feel shame for it." He adds, arms crossed defensively.

"I'm not.. I just-" Namjoon stammers. It's not like he's never looked at you in a more... sensual aspect, but this? It's a fine line he didn't know if he wanted to cross it.

If he could cross it.

"I'm not taking her for myself either, just so we're clear." Jungkook says after a moment. "She belongs with the pack, and the pack belongs with her. I'm simply filling you in on where I stand with her, as a part of this pack." He explains.

"How.. did that even happen?" Namjoon sighs, sitting down as he runs a hand over his face. "How- she's not that fluent yet In terms of language. How the hell can you be sure she was okay with it?" He worries.

"I'm sure you don't want details-" Jungkook shrugs, leaning against the wall, "but simplified, we played around in my apartment, I caught her, we kissed, ended up sleeping together." He shrugs. "Namjoon, I asked her several times if she knew what we were doing. If she was okay with it. She was clearly aware of everything going on- she even stopped me at some point when I wasn't doing what she liked. She clearly knew what we did, and she was fine before, during, and after. I made sure of that." He explains.

"Where is she now?" Namjoon asks.

"With Jimin and Taehyung at the practice room, Hoseok said he'd be there too at some point." Jungkook explains. "I'll pick her up right after this. I just wanted to let you know."

"Jungkook, I appreciate it. I really do." The leader says, before he looks at him.

"Just say what you want to say." Jungkook shrugs. "Like I said, nothing will make me feel ashamed or bad about it."

"I'm not trying to make you feel bad about it." The leader sighs. "I'm just.. this is a huge deal. Her foster contract with the company is ending-"

"And I already filed in to have her transferred to me. Namjoon, I know I can still be a huge puppy when it comes to my place in the pack, but when it comes to her- trust me." He says, eyes determined and voice serious. "I will not lose her. And neither do I take any of this lightly. I know how serious this is- not just for me.. but all of us." He says.

"I just.. have you talked to her about what happened? What's going to happen?" The leader asks, slowly coming to terms with things.

"I did." Jungkook nods. "She mentioned how she.. feels the same about the pack as she does towards me. But she's scared." He explains.

"Scared?" Namjoon wonders.

"Yeah. I mean, she feels a bit babied by some of you guys, and I can understand it." He shrugs at the rapper.

"Babied?" He asks, surprised.

"You don't take her seriously. You don't.. really let her make decisions. I guess that's why she likes to stay with me, or Jin. Since we don't really do that." He shrugs.

"I'm just careful." Namjoon sighs. "But I can see both of your points. It's hard for me not to.. you know, baby her, considering where she comes from and in what situation she's in."

"I mean, yeah-" Jungkook sighs, as he walks closer to pat his leader's back. "-and she doesn't blame you or anyone for doing it. She just wants to be understood- and taken seriously." He says.

"I understand." The rapper nods, looking up at his packmate. "And.. thank you. For being so honest."

"Of course." Jungkook grins, Wolf tail wagging happily. "We're a pack, after all. Especially now." He offers, and ut makes Namjoon smile brightly to himself.

Because Jungkook is right. You're all a pack-

Now more than ever, thanks to you.