#i'd pretty much memorised the whole thing

[unhingedmess]

now this is the economic commmentary i like to see on my dash

me watching monsters inc as a kid: how did it take so long for anyone to figure out that human child laughter not only produced energy like screams, but was more effective, and that children aren’t actually dangerous at all?

me watching monsters inc now: monsters incorporated, a multi-billion dollar corporate giant, stood to make extra profits off a scream shortage because low supply with high demand makes it possible to charge a fortune for a necessary commodity and everyone has no choice but to pay the high prices because they can’t go without electricity. Therefore Monsters Inc, as well as any other major powers that may have existed at the start of the era of using scream energy, fabricated the idea that only screams could generate sustainable energy sources in order to create artificial scarcity, because laugh energy was far easier to obtain and far more efficient, and therefore stood to lower the value of energy due to surplus. They also fabricated the idea that human children were toxic, in order to a) make other monsters too afraid to go near them to do research and possibly discover the secret of laugh energy, and b) to make monsters so afraid of going near them that there is a shortage of scarers, making it harder for rival companies to rise up and create competition. Even in the monster world, capitalism is based on lies, greed and cruelty, and even monster companies have no qualms about using and abusing children to maximize profits.

[philcoulsonismyhero]

A thing I've been thinking about a lot as I've been obsessively re-listening to the Rivers of London books on a loop and putting colour coded bookmarks into my paperbacks (in short, being Extremely Autistic about the series) is just how interesting it would be to explore what it would be like to be an autistic wizard in that 'verse.

Like, take vestigia. It's a whole extra category of sensory impressions on top of everything else that you're picking up on, and you only get more sensitive to it the longer you train for. Peter wonders at one point if Nightingale isn't just straight up listening to the magic of the city in order to find out about cases, and even if he isn't doing that he's still got to be picking up on a Huge amount of sense impressions from the magic around him. Would an autistic practitioner be even more sensitive to vestigia? Just how much of a sensory overload trigger would it be, given that it's not a true smell/sound/whatever? Do really skilled practitioners like Nightingale ever get overloaded by just how much they can sense? Would an autistic wizard have to train themselves to shut out their sense of vestigia so they didn't get overwhelmed?

And then there's how you learn magic in the first place, which is a lot of repetition, doing the same thing over and over again until you produce an effect, and then continuing to repeat it until the effect becomes consistent. And you build spells by learning more and more formae, memorising them in the process. Which sounds to me like Such an autism-friendly way of learning to do anything, I fucking love repetition and memorising huge amounts of information.

Also, it's pointed out a bunch of times that Nightingale has almost scary levels of focus. In Broken Homes he spends ages watching CCTV footage, and then a full half hour just staring at the dog batteries at Skygarden. And it's pretty obvious that his level of obsessive focus is what's made him such a powerful wizard, since he's willing to put in the hours of practice, so autistic obsessiveness would be useful too.

(Sidenote, but I'm not sure if I actually think Nightingale is a character I'd read as autistic. He's definitely got a bunch of traits in the right direction, like the single-minded focus, the scary levels of concentration, the things he's very particular about and the way he can miss Peter's sarcasm sometimes, but in his case I think it's more just his personality and training and age, plus all the trauma. But I do think it would be a fun possibility/what-if to explore.)

And when it just comes down to it, I don't think I've ever encountered a magic system that appeals more to the specific way that my brain works than the RoL one, it seems like it would be So fun to learn. Even, tbh especially, the Latin and all the other studying that's also involved. So it does rather entertain me that I've gotten really autistic over a book series that has such an autism-friendly magic system, it feels Good and Correct.

Although. Ben Aaronovitch. My guy. Give me a list of all the formae and how they work, I am Begging you. I've never wanted an in-universe textbook tie-in book as much as I do for this series and Eventually I'm going to get my hands on the TTRPG book and obsess over every little detail of how they've interpreted the magic for that.

[orionsangel86]

Are there anythings that you would have changed about The Sandman?

The show or the comic?

Plenty of things I'd change about the comic. As great as the story is, it is a product of its time and there are some underlying messages whether intentional or not that are inappropriate and fucked up and don't really belong such as:

The racism towards black women implied to be cursed to die violently when linked to Morpheus in some way following the Nada situation.

In fact the whole Nada story is pretty gross. When she thinks that by cutting her hymen she'll remove her virginity to put Dream off her, but then its stated that healing her hyman doesnt restore her lost virginity... like first of all. No. Second of all - shoving a rock up your vag does NOT remove your virginity lets not spread the message that it does.

The way Dream comes across a bit rapey in the Nada story overall and its not made clear how much influence Desire has in that.

The inherent misogyny which is typical of 80s/90s comics but in particular the violence towards women and overt sexualisation of women. Whether for shock value or not, its just not necessary.

The implied message that depressed and suicidal people should just kill themselves and everything will be better once they are gone.

The idea that a person who is depressed can be replaced by a better good version of themselves and even their family and friends will just treat that person as the new them. The implication that the depressed person isnt valued and must instead conform to the responsibilities and burdens of the system they are trapped in - rather than changing the system.

The concept that the moon is inherently transphobic and that witchcraft is transphobic just irks me as a pagan person- like yeah there are huuuuge problems in the community and the whole divine feminine and fucking womb magic bullshit is all over it but I really really hate how Sandman perpetuates that myth and indicates its the goddess that encourages that view and not asshole closed minded people. The moon isnt fucking transphobic FFS.

Everything about Gwen and Hobs relationship in Sunday Mourning. Its problematic AF and I hope I don't need to explain why.

Not a fan of the portrayal of Loki and Sigyn. Its too black and white for such a complex myth.

That fucking awful reaping joke in Collectors which I loathe with every fibre of my being.

Even with all these points I want to caveat this by saying that I love these comics. I KNOW that a lot of this is subjective and open to interpretation. These things have many shades of grey to them. I adore the comics in so many ways but that doesn't mean they dont have their issues. I know people are emotionally connected to these comics and this criticism isnt meant as an attack on them.

For the show, well tbh I think its practically perfect, but a couple of niggles:

That fucking awful reaping joke in Collectors - can't BELIEVE they kept that in. I mute my TV at that moment so I don't have to hear it every time.

Hob's slave trade ties - They needed clarity here and should have kept the regret in 1889 more obvious. I understand why they changed it but I think that topic should have been thought through better.

There were complaints I read about how black characters and black men in particular seem to disproportionately suffer violent deaths. I know this was unintentional and a simple matter of open casting for extras and minor characters which is a GOOD thing, but sometimes casting should be less blind, and more considered where minorities are concerned.

Some of the dialogue in Johanna Constantine's episode is clunky - but that only bothers me because I've watched it 284929294787 times and have it memorised.

Despair was handled poorly. It wasnt great rep for fat bodies (like me) and she comes across so weak and submissive to Desire. Which she just isn't at all in the comic. Thankfully it looks like they really did take that criticism to heart and made positive changes in Dead Boy Detectives. She was fabulous in her cameo in that.

Not enough gay sex. The 1 star homophobic reviews really overexaggerated on that and left me disappointed. There should have been at least 1 gay or lesbian sex scene in every episode. Do better season 2. Do better. (For legal reasons this one is a joke - Sandman is a goldmine of queer rep and should be on every queer fans watch list 100 times over)

There you go. No piece of media is perfect. There can always be changes and improvements, but the Sandman is a story that really does fit the description of masterpiece. I think my ideas of things that need to change are generally matters of framing. I dont think the comic story should be drastically changed in the show, I don't think it should be given a different ending. Its a tragedy after all, but tragedy can come in many forms and perhaps the story can be adjusted so the tragedy isnt so harsh. But anyway. This is all just my opinion and as with all things i'm sure there will be plenty of people who disagree with me.

[limoncats]

hey, remember the tag on this post?

you know what? i'm gonna explain.

quick apology if the post sounds weird, it is currently 1 minute away from 11 pm as i'm typing this sentence.

ig this is a vent? anyway long post up ahead so !!

also apologies if this sounds stupid.

btw this post is not a self-diagnosis post

TWs for: mentions of self-h@rm, discussion of trauma

if these trigger you, don't read this! or do, but just be warned.

okay, so,

am i disabled?

alright, so am i physically disabled? no, not to my knowledge.

am i mentally disabled? i have no official diagnosis, but i am speculating. the speculation in question? this whole post

i have speculations that i have Asperger's Syndrome and possible selective mutism

Asperger's Syndrome

okay so. let me show you the symptoms and i'll explain

according to nationwidechildrens.org, the symptoms for Asperger's are:

i'll go over each one and tell you my experiences with each

now uh. i don't actually know what this means ;; but if this counts, i'll put it here: whenever i'm supposed to say basic things like "good morning," or "thank you," i can't seem to verbally? like the words don't seem to be able to come out of my mouth. it actually is more like that i don't even think to say them, so i don't. i remember this whole thing resulted in a fucking argument i had with my mother and her friend JUST because i didn't say good morning to him. as you can imagine, it was pretty traumatic. i think this may actually be more of "struggling to understand social cues," but eh.

i– yeah i can understand emotions usually (if i can clearly see it/tell based off of a person's facial expression what emotion they're feeling.) and i think my expressiveness is fine? idfk however kill me.

i can understand gestures just fine, unless i don't clearly understand what the person means? it's like if my mum points to something but i don't know where she's pointing to because i can't tell (and then she gets mad at me ;;). it might just be a thing on my mum's part but honestly i don't fucking know.

yes! irl the only thing i talk about with my school friends is CoAD since they like it too, and it's usually super awkward when i try to talk to an irl friend who doesn't know/enjoy CoAD so ;; and if they don't, sometimes i tell them about it and keep rambling on and on about it. now regarding the "convos revolving around them," part, i'm also pretty sure that's a yeah too? like yk when i ask a question like "guys what (insert thing here) am i"? i feel that i do that pretty frequent and i think it counts so ?

nah i think my speech is fine

mfw CoAD

auhhh???? i don't know i don't have memory of it so i think no

uh. if getting mad at my mum for making me do chores while i'm having fun either watching a video, talking to friends or drawing counts then uh. yeah

oh ofc. like i memorised how tall Wadanohara's familiars (Memoca, Dolphi, Fukami and Samekichi) are and when Yonaka's birthday is instead of memorising what the word "verbatim" means (it took me some time to memorise)

i don't think i'm that clumsy + my handwriting is fine and it's easy to write so

ohhhh Hm. so i can hold emotions pretty fine (it does sorta hurt to hold in so much anger) but sometimes they do come out a little and i end up like punching my thighs or something. it's happened at school before (yes, i've actually punched my thighs out of anger before)

uhhhhhhh??????? i feel like i'd have to get reeeeally specific for this one and i'm not feeling it right now

now to lights and touch i'm fine, but sound? lemme explain. so i can listen to like a video at (somewhat) loud volume while at home, but if i overhear like loud music coming from a club i get uncomfortable and i sometimes cry

so that's that for the Asperger's part, now let's move on to:

Selective mutism

i'll format it basically the same as the previous section so.

according to NHS, symptoms of selective mutism are:

"characterised by a sudden stillness and frozen facial expression when they're expected to talk to someone outside of their comfort zone" is so real ngl

anyway

yeah i do get nervous. i assume i look so too

my mum tells me i come off as rude, she says like, "hey you can't just stay silent! that's really rude!" wow mum i feel so much better! (<- lie) also i'm pretty sure i come off as sulky because whenever i frown around my mum's friends, once we're separated for something, my mum always says "suratına asma," which basically means "stop frowning." you have no idea how angry i get when i hear that my god.

nah i'm like. 99.9% sure that i come off as the opposite of clingy

yeah i sometimes describe myself as shy (sometimes is emphasised because i usually don't like calling myself "shy" because it makes me feel cringe.)

i. don't know lol. i guess so yeah? yeah i think so actually

i'm not aggressive (at least not physically or verbally), but i do get pissed when my mum asks me. ofc i don't let it out because i don't want to fucking assault mother

now i didn't include this because i don't think it's a disorder, but whenever i go through something traumatic (or the aftermath of something traumatic), i question if i'm real? like i think i sorta put myself in this sort of delusion that i'm living in a nightmare i can't wake up from whenever i go through something traumatic

also i hate looking in a mirror due to questioning who i'm looking at

i still question who i was looking at in the mirror that one day to this day.

i'm not sure if this is dissociation because i don't understand the definition of dissociation, or if it's part of a disorder. i did suspect DPDR, but i don't know i don't think so ? i'm also not sure if this is just puberty with the whole "questioning who you are" thing (though i think that's in terms of identity, not fucking questioning your REALITY 💀)

have i tried getting a diagnosis?

yes, i have, actually, so let me explain:

i wrote a text document to my dad about my speculations on having Asperger's, but he just laughed it off and said "i've met people with autism and you're NOTHING like them haha!!!" which was just. okay dad.

he suggested i tell my mother and i agreed

now this is when things go downhill 😭😭

so i told my mum when i went back to hers and she also basically had a similar response but she agreed to get it diagnosed one day.

then some time later she tells me that i might have to wait 2 years to get my diagnosis so 💀💀💀

and then one day i start telling her that one of my school classmates recommend talking therapy and all of a sudden she gets all hostile like "why do you need to label yourself? what difference does it make? it's unnecessary" which is VERY funny considering this woman is a FUCKING SOCIOLOGY LECTURER WITH A PHD.

we've had a couple arguments about it and it still pisses me off. she even practically made fun of me to her friend's husband when i went to The Netherlands last week and she was like, "yeah i think her generation has a weird obsession with needing to label themselves?" mum do you hear yourself. oh i'm sorry i want to improve my mental health by knowing what's up with me and attempting to get support.

SPEAKING of trying to get support once diagnosed, during one of our arguments over if diagnosis really does anything at all, in response to her saying, "what do you do with it?", i said, "i can well. try and get support ??" and then HER ASS responds with, "THERE IS NO SUPPORT."

FUCK YOU MEAN THERE IS NO SUPPORT???? YOU'RE A SOCIOLOGIST YOU KNOW DAMN WELL THERE IS.

i haven't told either of my parents of my speculations for having selective mutism, though i feel it'll just go the same as what happened with the Asperger's shit so

i think my parents just have stereotypes of autism that i don't fall into so thErEfoRE YoU'Re noT aUtistiC!!!!11!1!!

anyway so that's practically it. thanks for reading what absolute insanity i've gotten myself into, and also what state my mental health is in!!! (ofc this isn't the entirety of my mental health lol.)

have a good day/afternoon/evening/night ♡

— limoncats

[thedawningofthehour]

Hi!! Yes, hello, I cried again, thank you for that. Even though you said we „shouldn’t expect too much“, my heart is still very much cracked haha

ANYWAY, since the guessing game is still on, I was thinking a lot during this chapter. My guess is, either Raph has a really stupid idea that he‘s thinking through right now and that‘s why he‘s been so quiet OR smth happens to the Hueso place and he like sacrifices himself to get his family to escape like idk maybe EPF or smth knocks at the door and he holds them off

And so I was wondering if you could tell us when this stupid thing is gonna happen, I have a feeling it might be like the book 2 finale or somewhere close to that??

ALSO, I was wondering how you organise your chapters and the plot you write about. Do you have like a pinboard and put the NYC map on it and connect the dots with red yarn? (Detective style) or do you use some program or are just…weird and memorise it all?

Maybe he hasn't actually had the stupid idea yet, but he's definitely ruminating on everything that eventually compels him to make that decision.

The stupid thing will be a direct consequence of the final climax, so it'll be coming up here soon. I'm going to put up a poll probably after the next chapter.

I'm giddy that we're getting there, honestly. There's a foreshadow I put in literally in the single-digit chapters of Book 1 and when I wrote that I couldn't imagine actually getting to that point. I always feel like I'm going to die or something before I finish stuff, like, I was shocked when I finished doth.

Oh my goooood I am so terrible about plotting and outlines and stuff. I always, always feel like I'm in elementary school filling out a worksheet. I am basically this guy

except there is no paper because I haven't written anything down I'm just sleep deprived and rambling and smoking copious amounts of weed. (I have never smoked weed)

I know generally how the plots go, and as chapters draw closer I start thinking more specifically about where parts should go and where they would fit best. The whole war kick-off thing, that originally was going to happen after the third reverse-kidnapping, (the mall with the mercenaries one) but Gale and Mikey were still having their library trips, and that just seemed like an...awkward thing to have hanging over them. And it just didn't have to be. I could have cut that arc short, delayed the third reverse-kidnapping until after after the library meetings were discovered, or I could push off the war. And the war didn't need to happen then-if anything, it complicated the other plot points that needed to happen. And I think it worked out for the better this way.

I'm not totally satisfied with this method though. When I was writing Book 1, I had probably about half the fic written before I started posting-it was all in one document, Donnie's scenes were all together and Leo's scenes were in some incomprehensible order and often unfinished because I wasn't expecting to post anything and would just stop when I felt like it, when I finally committed to putting it to order I think I had like eight documents open at one point and three different highlighter colors to denote what I'd done in the master document, it was an ORDEAL-but it meant that I could group scenes together based on what was most effective, move things around very easily. The fact that Leo and Donnie's chapters were pointedly not happening at the same time helped a lot too. In Book 2, I end up writing with two, maybe three chapters planned ahead in my brain, and I feel like that forces me to sometimes rely on short-term climaxes that add to the word count but don't really do much for the story overall, or put off certain things that I don't particularly feel like writing at the time or don't know would work there. Book 2 would probably be significantly shorter if I'd plotted it out the way I did Book 1.

...What were we talking about? Oh! I do actually have a map of NYC open pretty much constantly in my fic window, it probably shows when they were driving around last chapter that I was literally going along the border with my pointer finger. But I'm terrible and I don't write any of this shit down. I usually remember, but there have been occasions where I've completely forgotten what I was going to do, and I think it was chapter 32 where I had pretty much finished the rest of the chapter and then realized I'd forgotten the final Leo scene-which was a pretty major scene. So I guess...yeah, weird and memorize sounds correct, but I don't actually do it that well.

[formulatrash]

Hey Hazel,is there any driver you'd really like to see in FE?

[dropping to my knees, howling at the sky] Alex Lynnnnnn

no, he's in a better place now. but never forgotten. uhm; I guess right now I can't really say I think FE is a good place for a driver but if we slightly shift reality to a better version of Gen3 and a championship in a more stable place, then there's a bunch of people it'd be cool to see.

FE has a very odd driving style, if you ask drivers about - actually you know what, I have asked drivers about it one moment let me get a quote Stoffel gave me.

"It's probably actually one of the the biggest changes, career wise almost, jumping from F1 to Formula E, just because of the way you have to drive the car.

I would say in Formula 1 and all the junior series leading up to Formula 1, everything kind of makes sense. Every car has a little bit more grip, a bit more downforce, a bit more power, it's a bigger car and every step you do is kind of logical.

While suddenly jumping from a Formula 1 car to Formula E, it's like: the whole technology, the way the car behaves is... well, there's only Formula E, there's no other car that behaves that way.

So in terms of driving style, you really have to get used to certain things, especially the braking where you have the regen on the rear axle, the feeling of the brake pedal is quite different.

And then we have a lot of software tools and programmes that help us out, or you can influence as a driver as well, so it's quite technical. And yeah, it's not a straightforward one to jump into."

which is why sometimes it doesn't work out for drivers who've done well in other categories. and there's not particularly a recipe for what makes a good Formula E driver, except that they need to be someone who can handle a strange car. and they really need to be able to memorise massive amounts of information to handle the energy management in the race. drivers that don't get much out of sim work are probably going to struggle.

given that, someone like Lando would be interesting. I think he'd find the car frustrating but fun. it'd actually suit Sainz's driving style (he has some interesting interpretations of kerbs)

(Lewis would either find it the most fun ever and kind of a novelty or be immediately incredibly annoyed with the whole thing, I don't think Seb would like it at all)

I'd love to see Alice Powell get a race seat (she's the test and development driver for Envision) and Tatiana Calderon was blisteringly fast when she did a rookie test, I think she'd be really great in a full-time seat.

I sort of hoped Max Fewtrell might get rescued into a seat or at least a test/sim role a few years back, since he was talking about wanting to be in FE. I'm pretty sure any talented junior series driver would, if they put their mind to it, be able to make the transition to FE and do well.

Marcus Armstrong's description of himself as liking braking earlier (in The Side Pod yesterday) makes me think he'd probably be weirdly naturally adapted to FE. but if he likes hitting the apex of corners he might struggle with the absence of downforce or grip. he does have experience with having relentlessly, sinfully appalling luck though and doesn't seem to have completely given up so he might have what it takes.

[dojae-huh]

I've been binge-watching all NCT MVs, stages and dance practice videos, again :p Doyoung really has something that intrigues everytime I watch though he is not my bias. I have a soft spot for him since I watched some of NCT life seasons but I follow him just lil bit then. I have the complex that I can't leave the ones that I have so much time invested to watch them, even when sometimes I find other members much more intrigue me.

Ermm, when is the exact moment that you know Do is your ult bias and just focus on him? You are keen to observe him mature as an artist but also as a person, I mean both on cam and off cam. You must have a strong faith in who he is and what he gonna offer next I guess... Sometimes I realize that I am toxic to expect my biases to go the way I want and achieve this n that, kind of living by proxy mental. That's frustrated! Do you ever expect anything from being a Do bias? For me I think I am about to give up on the idol-fangirl relationship.. I mean I would still support them but I want to observe many other things besides that I don't notice be4 instead of screaming and crazily watch tons of videos with guilty pleasure. I admire people that can observe everything and offer ideas on things in general, hmm like the stuff you write about SM and kpop idols. Anw, thank you for your contents and sorry for this long confusing question. Thank you again!

That's normal. When humans invest a lot in something, they have hard time abandoning it. It's a problem in business. Most can't terminate a project in progress even if it becomes evident it will fail and won't be profitable (so it's better to drop it and stop spending money on it).

Life hack. If you'll make people help you somehow, they will be more ready to care about you, heh. You will make them be invested in you. Literally.

Anyhow.

You can take a break with your biases though? And comeback with renewed interest after some time. The good thing about k-pop is that content is saved on platforms. No problem in catching up after a few years. The time you invested in them won't become a waste of time in any case, your gained knowledge about them won't dissapear.

When I asked what should I watch to get to know NCT, I was directed to Idol Weekly with NCT2018. I'd already singled out Jaehyun, Doyoung and Taeyong after watching a few MVs and dance practices, but I hadn't memorised their names yet. By the end of the programme I was sure Doyoung will be my bias. You can read this tag for more info.

I usually "fall in love" very quickly and don't get dissapointed. Eventhough it happens when I warm up to celebreties/fictional characters with time, after getting to know them better, such cases never turn into a new obsession. So Doyoung wasn't an exception. And the fact that in Wish I like the members, but noone hooked me, most probably mean that there won't be a second Doyoung. On the other hand, it's nice to have a whole group to be appealing for a change.

Hm, eventhough I want Doyoung to achieve this and that, I'm still a passive observer, so I won't be dissapointed with any outcome. I'm an admirer, not an "idol-producer". Doyoung does, I observe and marvel. Whatever he wins in life are his achievements. I get from him the process, the journey to those mountain picks. A life story of an ambitious person and an artist. There are no other types of parasocial relationships and co-dependencies.

If you understood your problem of an unhealthy fan-idol relationship (living vicariously through someone is bad), you have the power to change yourself and your attitude. The first step to solving an issue is a recognition of the said issue. Likewise, if you feel like you outgrew fangirling, then move on to newer pastures.

Eventhough I can safely call myself a stan, I'm an active participant in the fandom, my interest in NCT (and Doyoung) is supported by much more than a pretty face and a nice voice. It's showbusiness, it's social dynamics, leadership, stage outfits, concept development, Korean culture and mentality, Korean variety, the fandom itself, afterall. Doyoung is the White rabbit that leads me to Wonderland where I encounter all other interesting things.

As for content. I skip "empty" content and make sure to watch "informative" programmes. Those that will show me the members from a new side, or provide me with a better understanding of them.

Pick up a topic that is either very interesting to you (brings satisfaction, joy) or can be very useful to you (develop you) and dig. If anything, you'll practice active search and choosing your own direction. In this age of algorythms offering us stuff and deciding for us, it's a needed skill. How to be proactive and be a manager of one's own life.

Like Doyoung-sonsennim.

[thesheeper]

Battle Ram (2023)

Battle Ram is a 2023 bullet hell game, (or what Steam calls a 'spectacle fighter').You play as a little ram, perhaps the eponymous 'Battle Ram' himself, and you're tasked with fighting off waves upon waves of ever increasing numbers of robots set upon you by a set of unknown scientists, with nothing but your horns and a bit of force.

Despite its bleak undertones and its seeming indulgence in the unethical treatment of sheep, it's a rather cutesy-looking affair. The game aesthetically looks and feels almost 15 years out of time, clearly taking heavy inspiration from the greats of the golden age of Adobe/Macromedia Flash, with its thick outlines and squiggle animation and whatnot. In fact, I'd be willing to say that the aesthetics are achieved so well that you could almost mistake it for a lost Edmund McMillen game fell from the skies and into my Steam library.

Gameplay-wise, our little ram romp unfortunately leaves a lot to be desired. Since this game appears to be a solo-developed affair, I'll sing its praises first before shearing it clean.

I enjoy the game's movement quite a lot. It's a little clunky, but it's incredibly fluid and works well in the game's playing field. It's very momentum-based, and you need to watch when repeatedly headbutting robots, lest you rubberband a million miles out of bounds. Fortunately, you won't be alone in your robot-destroying endeavours, as they can damage each other! This leads to later levels where you can sit and watch a whole battalion of robots wipe themselves out in their own bullet-infused carpet bombing. All of this is complimented by some pretty basic but fitting electronic music.

Alas, for every little thing that this game does right, there's a little flaw that at best is just a little annoyance, but at worst completely takes me out of it.

The most major complaint I have with Battle Ram is that, for a game that seems to be going for a guns blazing, bullet hell gameplay loop, it's very inconsistent in the collision and hitboxes of its entities. Generally, in most major bullet hell releases, the player has a notably small hitbox, letting them weave in and out of enemy fire (Fans of the Touhou Project, you'll recognise this pretty clearly). Yet, in Battle Ram, our beloved little titular ram can't seem to make his little mind up as where his hitbox begins and ends.

When trying to graze by enemy fire, it's not uncommon to be wiped out by bullets that weren't even touching the ram. On the flip side, don't even try to attack robots from head on. It's almost like the sheep's hitbox on the Z axis is paper thin, so almost every single time you try to ram into a robot from either the direct left or right, you'll just end up going straight past them, ending up either in front of or behind them.

On a much less experience-ruining note, something that certainly destroyed the flow of gameplay for me was when you die, the music stops and you're sent back to the main menu, where you can then press play and continue where you left off. This is in contrast to completing a level, which immediately takes you to the next wave and continues the music from there, creating an excellent gameplay flow, keeping you in the zone. This unfortunately means that dying can ultimately kill your flow, and make it harder to jump back into the game. This can get especially annoying in the later levels that rely much more on pattern memorisation.

Final Verdict All in all, Battle Ram is a perfectly solid bullet hell romp. It's by no means perfect, and certainly isn't an all that ewe-nique experience, but it's certainly not a baaaad time. If you ever need to kill an hour of time with some sheepy goodness, there's certainly worse ways to do it. Baaaaaa~! 🐑✨

5 SHEEP OUT OF 10 🐑🐑🐑🐑🐑

"Meeeeeeeeh~"

Buy it on Steam!

[screechingkingdomhottub]

Let's imagine you go for a job interview at a restaurant. The interviewer asks you to suggest an item for the menu, you say a very complicated pasta dish that took a lot of thought. The person who interviews after you says a really complicated burger with a fancy side dish. Pretty soon every candidate has been interviewed and had a different dish they suggested. About a week later, no one has the job but they've filled up the menu with all these suggestions. That would suck right? Well that's exactly what writers of shows have to deal with but instead of food it's their jokes. Pretty soon the whole show is filled with their jokes and they get no credit. Add to that they rarely get as much limelight as those who star in the show. I LOVE sitcoms like I adore them, I obsess over them, I memorise them...but why can I only name the writers of The Office and It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia? Because they star in them. When I mention things like Modern Family, The Middle and to a lesser extent Superstore (it's my understanding that the cast did in fact write some episodes but I'm not sure how much, great show though like incredible) I find myself saying "the writers did this". My point is writers in hollywood deserve a ton more respect and I'm grateful for every single one of them. If anyone is interested I'd love to start doing like appreciation posts for some of the ones I love love love. or ones I dislike like some individuals who wrote my least favourite sitcom, episode of modern family and episodes of always sunny...hehhehe

[beeseverywhen]

This is so odd! Like i can't deny that some of the skills that these methods teach are useful, figuring out what a word means based on context is definitely helpful in life! Asking what the author means by that word choice is also helpful, but without a foundation how are you ever going to be able to read and to continue to read? What happens when you come across new words as an adult, not in school?

As a reader, i come across new words all the time, being able to sound it out (even if half the time I'm wrong!) Helps me get to the next step of working out what it means with in text context, looking it up to see if i'm right and getting out of text context. That whole process means that I'll remember it when i come across it again. If i wasnt sounding it out, there would be nothing to tie that memory to. Is there something im not understanding here or does this approach expect you to have already heard each new word you read?

I do understand that phonics is an annoying thing to teach when English is such an illogical language with so many exceptions to the rule, but remembering the exceptions by rote is one thing, expecting to do that with 100% of words is pure craziness. Surely the mind just doesn't have capacity for that, it's why we stopped teaching kids by copying out history books, human cognition has a bias towards problem solving, we are good at rembering rules and bad at remembering reems of information not tied to any rule.

All of these articles are about america, specificially ny so i'd be interested to know about how reading is being taught elsewhere. Also how are other languages being taught? This talks about the skill of 'reading' but is trying to solve a problem with phonics that is surely pretty unique to english, most other languages do stick to their phonetic rules a lot better! Surely the skill of 'reading english' should be being taught in a very similar way to 'reading' anywhere in the world, while the rules of language differ, you are still teaching human children a common skill, the 'best' way shouldn't differ too much no matter the language.

Anecdotally, there has 100% been a move away from phonics in other places, but I'm not sure if it's to the extreme mentioned in these articles. My siblings learnt to read English in nz and the UK in the past decade and I've noticed differences in what they are being taught vs what i learnt as a child. Its always a frustration when reading with them that they have a tendency at first to just guess words and then to memorise them rather than bothering to figure out what it actually says, I've always assumed this is a natural tendency of all kids but is it that they are being taught that and not being taught phonetics at all? It's frustrating as though a good show of lateral thinking and memory recall, that's not actually 'reading' and won't help them as soon as they get an unfamiliar text. Kids doing it muddies the water as it's difficult to tell if they can read or if they need more help to get there. I've been told by certain teachers that 'that's not how we do it' and 'we don't teach phonetics like that' when trying to get the kids to sound out words but honestly, i assumed they'd just rebranded phoetics and were using a slightly different method. It didn't occur to me it might have been removed entirely (though that is what i was being told thinking back) as that seemed impossible.

This explains so much about why 20 somethings are just unable to read to any level of complexity beyond a tweet. The miserable failure of US pedagogy

[sakisweetie]

Can i ask for Relationship Hcs for Ryoba Aishi with a Gender Neutral Reader?

We love Ryoba in this household 🙏

Ryoba Aishi relationship hcs

Gender neutral reader

• This is kind of a given- but she would do anything for you

• Pushing her yandere side aside, i can see her to be very affectionate and cuddly with you 😭

• She's the type of person to always be clinging to you somehow- arms linked together or an arm around your waist.

• If you don't like PDA, she'll respect that- but she needs to show everyone who you belong to!

• So as soon as she sees someone even glance at you, expect a pair of arms going around you at any second!

• I feel like Ryoba's a very good cook, and she definitely memorised every single recipe and snack you've ever enjoyed to make it for you

• She absolutely spoils you in the mornings

• You wanna sleep in? She'll only wake you when you need to be up

• She's already got your fav breakfast served

• You don't eat breakfast? She's making you your favourite tea/coffee

• We all know she's overprotective and gets jealous easily- don't be too surprised if you find a lil bit of blood in your basement

• She adores hearing reassurance and praise from you

• Sure she'd kill anyone that gets in the way, but even hearing something small like "I'd never leave you" would make her melt

• She's not afraid to hide her feelings from you and if you're lucky enough, you'd be the first person she'd open up to!

• She goes everywhere with you- this kinda goes with the whole overprotective thing but she wants to spend as much time with you as possible!

• She just loves the way you make her feel

• Also, she needs to make sure you're not getting hurt, even a tiny scrape would worry her

• She would like private dates, ones where she knows your eyes are on her and her only

• She'd probably take you to like a moonlit walk in the park or maybe stargazing

• Something simple but cute!!

•Overall, a pretty great gf!!

I'm not sure how how turned out but I hope it's alright 😭🙏 I might make more if I can think of anything else

[acciojaeyun]

venus among the stars | fred weasley

pairing: fred weasley x gn!reader warnings: none, just fluff and babie freddie prompt: "you awfully know me so much for someone who doesn't talk to me," "that doesn't mean i don't observe you,"

a/n: i just realised after i wrote this that james phelps (fred weasley) is really an astronomer! this is coincidental and not really planned. i just can't help but associate sleeping at last's venus with fred. :>

summary: fred had been at the astronomy tower for some time now. he loved looking at the stars and planets, little did he know, he was already venus in somebody's eyes.

"Where are you heading off, Freddie?" George asked as he watched Fred stand up while messily putting all of his quills and parchment away. "The tower, I could pretty much use a breather right now. Umbridge's a pain in the arse." Fred muttered, not minding to listen to whatever George had to say in response - he was too clouded in his mind to do so, anyway.

Fred had been on the receiving end of the stress that was inherent to being a seventh year. He knew George had it too, but he was in awe of how he can easily manage it as if it were something not too much of a deal.

At some point, he envied how George seemed like he got everything sorted out. He had to give him the appreciation for that. Hey, George was always the one who assessed most of their pranks; from that, it wasn't new knowledge to Fred if George wasn't that stressed out over life in general.

That is why he had been in the Astronomy Tower more than usual. Looking at the constellations each night, reminiscing his second year in Hogwarts and how he was trying to memorise the name of constellations at the back of his head - something he took pride in himself, he was fascinated with Astronomy, that loud boy. He found calm within the stars and the planets.; and the occurrence of Umbridge made him find a significant purpose other than peace: sanity. That was why Fred had been in the Astronomy Tower regularly.

Little did he know or maybe not, someone was observing him for some quite time now. All along, Fred knew he was alone. The student lurking seated at the last step of the Astronomy Tower proved otherwise. Y/N had seen Fred one time in the Astronomy Tower one night they had been later than their usual time in visiting the tower.

To Y/N, Fred was beauty. They couldn't deny it. The night of the Yule Ball they had seen Fred in its wool vest and black coat with his hair falling perfectly as if it were like dominoes, he had never left Y/N's mind.

Now, Y/N had dedicated constellations to Fred more often than not. He had been something that had given them hope. His smiles and laughs had become Y/N's source of happiness as well; and as the year progressed and the arrival of Umbridge had manifested in Hogwarts, they couldn't help but notice the light in Fred's eyes diminish increasingly.

They had been debating over themselves about it for some quite time now. They had always been wanting to approach Fred, but they were too scared to do so. They had placed Fred in a pedestal, unwillingly, at that. But they couldn't help it, he was ethereal. A figure of magic and love rolled into one.

Tonight was one of those times. They had seen Fred in the Great Hall, writing in dinner tonight; which was very unusual of him. When Fred had gotten up to go to the Astronomy Tower - they presume - they had waited out a bit before following him in his tracks.

Which leads to tonight, with Y/N seated on the last steps of the stairs. They were looking at Fred's face lost in thought, arms leaning on the rails of the tower, moonlight illuminating the crevices of his face.

Y/N felt the unexplainable pull towards Fred. But even though they had been experiencing that for quite some time, they couldn't find any strength in them to actually approach them. He was too high, the Fred Weasley. And who were they? Y/N Y/L/N. To them, it was such a laughable concept.

"How long have you been here?" Fred asked as he towered over the seated figure, making Y/N choke on air and stand up rather messily. "Oh – about that, uh – I have been here for just like – like now?" they reasoned, hands instantly shaking and sweating up out of embarrassment and butterflies.

Fred looked at them and licked his lips. "Oh, were you going to the Tower?"

"I mean, I am technically at the Tower, anyway, so..." they trailed off, internally slapping themselves for such a response.

The ginger boy chuckled, "Oh, sorry. You're right. I'm leaving already, anyway. The tower is yours."

"Right," they answered quickly, earning yet another mental slap.

Fred smiled and excused himself, Y/N trying their best not to turn around to follow his trail.

"Oh, and," they heard Fred call after them.

Y/N turned their body towards the direction of his voice, they had terrible eyesight especially when it's dark. And it's not helping the situation as Fred was already at the bottom of the stairs.

"You are welcome to join me anytime." he smiled and turned away from Y/N's dumbfounded figure.

The stiff fellow then shook their head whilst smiling to themselves. They now went to replace Fred's then place, smiling at the clumps of stars at the pitch black sky.

Days passed and Y/N had been trying to catch Fred in the Astronomy Tower, but they had not been met with the familiar figure of the ginger-haired twin.

"Waiting for someone?"

Just as when Y/N almost gave up in trying to catch Fred, there goes the Weasley leaning at the frame just a few meters away from the staircase. "Yeah," Y/N smiled, "I was waiting for him for three days, actually."

Fred frowned, guilt consuming him instantly. "I'm sorry, I got caught up with my studies."

"Oh, don't be sorry. I was just kidding, Fred."

He let out a faux exhale, "I thought you were serious, Y/N."

"You know my name?"

The boy furrowed their eyebrows. "Should I not?"

"No, no. It's that we just - you don't talk to me that much..." they trailed off.

"Ah," Fred pushed himself from the doorframe, walking towards the side of Y/N who has been watching his every step. "We may not talk that much, but that doesn't mean I haven't noticed you."

Y/N looked bewildered, making Fred smile more. "I – uh, may I ask when, and how?"

"We've been going here for weeks now, Y/N."

"Yeah, and –"

"You like the moon, correct?"

"Yes?"

"Your favourite moon is Callisto."

"You awfully know me so much for someone who doesn't talk to me." Y/N chuckled. "That doesn't mean I don't observe you," Fred countered, meeting Y/N's curious eyes that he had been wanting to look into forever – much more often than the stars at the sky.

Y/N took a huge leap of faith, scooting closer towards Fred, leaning their head on his shoulder albeit strugglingly. "If I hadn't liked you for a long time, I would've been running off the staircase now." Y/N kid, as Fred laughed in response.

"I saw you here last week, actually," Fred started. "I wanted to look at the stars that night because they seem so serene, you know?"

Y/N hummed. "They're silent beauty."

"Just like yours," Fred whispered. "I never knew I'd find you in the midst of those beautiful constellations, Y/N."

As Fred was met with silence as a response, he took that opportunity to continue with what he's been dying to say since the moment he saw them. He leaned his head on top of Y/N's, "You found me, Y/N."

"What do you mean, Fred?"

"You pulled me into focus." he whispered back, as serenity found its way in Fred's whole being.

Maybe the year wasn't going to be so bad. Fred, being the lad who always had perfected executions of the things he found fascinating, had found Venus when he was experimenting with his calculations. An astronomer at best, Fred had found his whole universe, Y/N; who was beautiful as endless.

[slashingdisneypasta]

Human!Freddy Krueger x Fem!Reader || Oneshot

Title: What The Fuck Now, Freddy!?

Notes:

This is not inherently romantic, at all. Or sexual. Just... Freddy being a bastard, and you are caught in the crosshairs- and are forever linked with him because of it.

I've been listening to Lizzie, a lot lately- and this is inspired by 'What The Fuck Now, Lizzie!?'

Also- I'm thinking this will have a part 2. Due to the ending not being quite enough. Maybe a part for the court proceedings!

Plot: Many will know the story of that terrible day Krueger essentially snapped- killing his wife, Loretta Krueger. She saw the basement, they say, and he didn't like that. Their daughter saw the whole thing and suffered a traumatic response to seeing the sight of her mother, strangled to death, by her father- and forgot the whole thing.

But if she were to remember something, one day.

She may remember something no one knows about that day, aside from Freddy himself.

She may remember, that someone else was there.

She may remember you.

//

Alternatively- you're being blackmailed by Freddy who found out you, another supposedly Plain Jane in Loretta's 'mothers club', is cheating on your husband and calls you up to help deal with the mess he made. Because who else did he have?

Warnings: Okay lemme see, its basically a potluck of triggers. Hm. Murder, swearing, cheating (You, on your husband. Not with Freddy), getting rid of a body, a child gets traumatised (Obviously, Kathy/Maggie), Freddy himself, mention of the basement and all that entails, reader with a very questionable moral compass. Look, I think if you can watch Freddy's Dead, you're good here.

I'm just heading out the door, to go grocery shopping - or, at least, that's the story I tell my husband. When really I don't do the grocery shop until the day after tomorrow. He never notices... - when the phone rings. By very nearly tripping over my feet in my endeavour to catch it before the ringing stops, I manage pick up the phone with very little injury besides an achy, slightly twisted ankle. "Hi! Hi, sorry, I'm here. Hello?"

Pouting, I sit down at the kitchen table; Rubbing my poor ankle to sooth the pain, which would soon diminish anyway. Still- I'm sorry, ankle. I'll try to chill.

When the voice on the other end reveals who it is who's called the house, I lose all need to be pleasant. Damn. I really need to memorise this goddamn number... so I can not answer it. "Whatcha wearin'?"

"Thank god Harrison didn't answer this, you fuck." I deeply roll my eyes. Thank god Har's out. No, this is not my mister, not the man I was going to meet just now- but its bad, enough. In an entirely different way. Its stupid, blackmailing, son of a... hundred maniacs. "What do you want?"

"What a way to answer the phone, Y/N. Gee, seems like every time I we talk, I'm learning how you really aren't in the right place, are you? Cheating on your poor husband, swearing... These aren't really signs of the perfect suburban house wife, is it?" Gritting my teeth, I keep from lashing out. I've learned, if you stay real quiet, Freddy wont have anything to pull from and will get bored quick. "Why so silent, hm?"

"... " Oh, fuck me. I cant help it. "Wondering where you get off judging me on being 'suburban', actually."

"Anywhere I like, thanks."

Oh... oh. Gross?

He doesn't see the disgust tearing my face into two perfect halves right now, but my silence must be enough as he laughs. The sound is directly into the phone, and harsh on my poor eardrums. Ugh... "Oh for gods sake... What are we? Fourteen years old?? Come on- why'd you call?"

"Uhhhh... " Quickly, midway through that drawn out 'um' sound, Freddy's voice transitions, and gets a whole lot darker. Something deep in his chest dislodging, to make it so. Perhaps, his heart. "Well... you might wanna come and see for yourself."

"Uh, I don't think so. I have somewhere to be right now- "

"Oh well you don't, anymore." And its clear what he isn't saying- or else I'll tell Harrison about Carter and set your life on fire. "Tell your boy toy you're takin' a reign check for the day. I think you'll last. In fact... after you come over here, you might be out of the game for a couple a hours at least- maybe days."

Hold on, hold on Freddy what the fuck- "What!?"

"... Believe it or not, I didn't actually mean for that one."

Moron.

~

Nevertheless, no matter how just... off setting, Freddy is, I had to when he asked. I had to jump when he said so.

Because if not, then he would tear my life apart.

So here I am, about to knock on that big red door he lives behind, wondering what I'm walking into. Where's Loretta? Where's Kathy? How long will the visit be? I told Carter I'd be an hour or two late- any longer and I wont see him at all today. Which would absolutely suck.

Just after my knuckles come down on the wood the first time, a hand comes down on my shoulder and I immediately jump out of my skin... then slowly look around.

There's Freddy, a cheeky grin on his face. It does nothing to set my nerves at ease. "Ugh... Why are you out here?"

"We're going to the backyard. Lets go." Taking me by the shoulders, he marches me around the side of the house, instead of through it for some reason, and into the familiar backyard. I've been here numerous times, as Loretta likes to hold our club meetings here - Barbecue's, tea's... that sort of thing. Just to let the kids play together and so the adults can enjoy some adult conversation. Its a nice yard... but depending on what her horrid husband is about to show me, it may not be considered as such anymore... - , but I'm now starting to develop a sick feeling in my stomach.

Honestly- I don't know much about Freddy at all. Yes, I went to school with him, but that doesn't mean much when he was a freaky loner kid the whole time. I remember he killed the class hamster once- that's about the only splash he ever made in the news pool; But it definitely stuck.

Yes, Loretta cleaned up his image a fair bit since getting married, but now he's blackmailing me, and as far as I know I'm now alone with him.

Suspicious of him suddenly, I slip out of his grip with a dirty look flashed his way. Don't touch me.

He just rolls his eyes, leading me around some hedges.

And then everything stops.

Him, me, the air; The air around me, the breeze, the breath in my throat.

There lays Loretta, on the ground. If I was really really naïve, I could imagine she were sleeping... or passed out, at least, due to the way she's sprawled out. No one would lay down like that willingly.

But... her eyes are open.

For a moment I'm tempted to kneel down; Take a closer look. Find out how, myself. Is she bleeding anywhere that I cant see now? Are her lips turning blue? If I moved some short red hair out of the way- would their be marks on her neck yet?

But then I come to my senses...

And freak. The fuck. O u t.

"What, the fuck, did you do!?" I whip around, looking at Freddy now which entirely new eyes. I mean, before I sure wasn't fond- but now I'm filled with something new, looking at him. Something a lot worse, something that makes me want to run. Run, and hide, and stay there.

And all these, even though he hasn't really changed. He still wears a mischievous smirk, stony blue eyes eating up my reactions... like always. But this time its just so so much worse. "Made some dead weight- now you're gonna help me get rid of it. So!" Finally, though its been only a matter of seconds, he turns his gaze off of me and I'm glad. That gaze is far too heavy. "Ideas?"

Only for a moment am I lost for words, struggling to push anything out. "I... I'm sorry??"

His gaze returns to mine, but this time my eyes are hard as his are dark. "Help. Me. Get rid of her. Fucking. Body. Or do you want your dirty laundry aired for the whole community to hear?"

Before I can help myself, I let out a sharp laugh, only succeeding in making Freddy's scowl deeper. "Freddy- this secret's a lot bigger, then mine. Sure, I might get divorced- but you're going to prison!" Does he get that? He's g o i n g to j a i l. Crossing my arms, I try to avoid looking at my ex-friend's body. I cant. "I'm sure as hell not gonna be in there with you, for being an accomplice."

I really cant look at her... I can only focus on Freddy. And that takes a lot of energy- its taking everything in me, in fact. Everything I have. But I have to. If its him or her, there's no choice.

But... then a creepy smile spreads across his face- a vast polarity to the frustrated glower of before. It makes my blood run cold.

"Ohhhh..." He looks almost ferocious, even in his composed state. Like a monster. Like any moment a fanged, inhuman creature is going to burst out of him and I'm going to wake up, and this will have been a nightmare. A horrible nightmare. The kind where that creature haunts me for a long time, after its over. After this over.

He's going to haunt me.

"You must think this is my first time... " My heart turns to ice, mouth hanging a little open... what the fuck have I found myself a part of!? Suddenly all the children's disappearances on the news lately come to the forefront of my brain... "Sweetheart, give a man his dues. I'm a hard working kinda guy... " I watch his gaze flicker to a door - the back door? No... The basement door, - and when a filthy smirk pulls at his mouth, my heart flies up into my throat. God, it makes me feel sick. I want to be violently ill. "My first was my adoptive Dad... pretty sick, huh?"

The fact that he didn't say anything about the basement, makes my imagination go wild. I swallow it down, though.

I just need to get out of here, and never think about this again.

And to do that I need to help Freddy get rid of this goddamn body- and... probably... testify at court... As the panic starts to finally rise up in my, right up to fill my throat, I immediately take in a deep breath and slowly let it out. "Okay... " No time to freak out. Now's the time for action.

Gaze flickering to Loretta again, I try to acclimatise to the sight. I think its a lost cause, though. "How did you get rid of him? Your Dad?"

"No, that's not gonna work. He was a drunk dead beat, and I just had to tell the police some guy's he owed money to came over to the house." Freddy grins happily at the memory, but then just as quickly, scowls at his poor deceased wife's body- that certainly cant fight back. I just tack this onto the long list of reasons I hate him. "Lore's such a goddamn goody goody- we cant do the same thing. You don't think I woulda thought of that??"

"Hey." I snap, hands braced on my hips as I flash a glare his way. "This is not the time to get defensive!"

"Whatever... "

Then- suddenly, something occurs to me. Confused, I look around; A deeply horrified feeling disturbing my stomach. "Hold on... Where's your daughter?" Seeing no sign of her anywhere, I definitely start to panic again- especially when I look to Freddy and just see a pert look in his eyes as he looks back at me, a smile that strikes something horrid inside me. My eyes narrow. "You sick fuck- where the fuck is she!??"

"Under the bed."

"What the fuck does that mean!?" I exclaim, frustrated and freaking out. He did not- he did not! Killing your spouse is one thing, but the kid?? Your own kid??

I don't wait around for him to be cryptic some more, and rush right into the house to look for her. Under the bed, under the bed, under the fucking bed...? Which fucking bed!? Forcing ferocity out of my voice, I carefully call out to Kathy. Hoping to god she answers. I try to sound normal. Maybe a little bit cheerful; Excited.

But my voice wobbles.

"Kathy?? Sweetheart, its Y/N! Are you hiding? I have something for you... " ?? You have something for her, Y/N?? God... now you have to figure out some kind of treat.

You know what? Whatever. We'll figure that out later.

Lets just hope we aren't searching for a corpse. I'd definitely be sick, seeing a child... the way Loretta is...

Shaking my head and clenching my fists, I try to focus on Kathy.

I check under the bed in the guest room because it comes into view first and she isn't there, then her bedroom and she isn't there either... and get a sick feeling as soon as I enter the last bedroom. Freddy's and Loretta's.

God, I've never been in here before but its like a museum peace now. A horrible one. Like if you would walk into the Titanic... or the Borden house.

"Kathy? You in here?" Flicking on the light I kneel down on the ground, and check under the bed.

And something immediately crashes over me, as the sight of her covering her eyes down there. It isn't exactly relief, because this whole situation is still phenomenally fucked up for her, but I am selfishly glad to not have to see her body... crumpled, just like her mother.

"Hey sweetheart," My voice quivers slightly now, but I quickly swallow. No. No. Now, you must be strong Y/N. "Its just me. Your Daddy was looking for you, and couldn't find you! It got him worried!"

"I... I don't wanna see Daddy. He hurt Mommy." Kathy doesn't remove her hands from her face, and stays firmly by the wall- too far away for anyone to grab. My heart sinks.

Slowly straightening up again, I try to take that piece of information in. Turning to the doorway, I see Freddy there. he must have followed me. I didn't even notice. Slowly, and quietly ferociously, I say; "She saw?!"

He has the good sense to look embarrassed, even if it is just to make fun of me. "It was spur of the moment... " He shrugs. "I didn't have time to get a babysitter!"

What a fucking excuse. For gods sake.

I'm definitely dealing with a psycho- if that was even a question before now.

Swiftly, I look down under the bed again, because I'm afraid that if I continue to engage with him- I'll scream, and I'll lose my breath, and I'll scare Kathy even more. She's at the forefront of my mind; That's all I can think about.

But what to do with her after I get her out from under this bed, I don't know. I cant give her back to her father... but I cant hand her over to the police either because that would involve telling them about Loretta, and... Freddy will definitely kill me, for that.

This is a nightmare of a situation.

I'm just opening my mouth to say something - what, I don't know yet, - when she speaks, instead. "Is he there?"

"... Yes." I wont lie to her; That would be treating her with not nearly as much respect as she deserves.

When she takes a deep breath and rubs her eyes, as if just trying to keep herself together, my heart clenches. God... and to think I might not have picks up Freddy's call today. I would have been leaving her with this. For the first time today, I'm morbidly glad I came.

She speaks in that loud, hissy way that kids think is a whisper. "Can he... can you please make him go away?"

Immediately I straighten back up and look to Freddy again, my eyebrows raised halfway up my forehead. Like well? "Get out."

"I don't think you're in a position to make demands here, bi- "

"Do you want Kathy to live down there now!??" I snap, trying not to be scared. Not really feeling scared, actually. Just happy to have a reason to tell him to get the hell away from me.

A deep frown creases his mouth, deeply unhappy about the situation, but steps back. I only hear him step out of the way of the door, but its good enough. Quickly, I get up and close the door - fighting with myself not to slam it, - and lock it.

Then I return to the floor, and see this time Kathy has uncovered her eyes. She looks so small, smaller then she actually is, and she looks like she's shaking. Little red bows and piggy tails in her hair are messy from crawling under the bed. "He's gone, sweetheart. And I locked the door."

She just nods, so I take the silence as a chance to offer my hand to her. "Take my hand, sweetie? Come on out from under the bed. Its cold down there, and no one wants you getting sick." I need to upkeep the family friend bit, I need to sound caring and collected. I need her to trust me.

Her big eyes, not Loretta's colour or Freddy's, look nervous as hell. And she shakes her head.

Taking a deep breath, and I conjure all the sincerity as I can. And mean it. My eyes soften and I try really hard, to resent myself as someone trustworthy- which is hard, seeing as I've never really been that. I mean, I'm cheating on my husband. I told Carter today the same lie I told Harrison when i knew I was going to be late. The only person I think who knows the truth behind all my lies is Freddy. That says something about a person, that the only person who knows them is a psychopath.

But I want to, I need to, be good for this little girl. And there's no time for me turn my life around so it has to start with this. How fucked is that?

"... I promise, I'll take care of you. He wont hurt you."

After a few whole minutes, in which I stay silent because yes she's a child, but she's still thinking, she crawls over and takes my hand, letting me lead her out. Crawling into my lap as I cross my legs under her, she buries her face in my shirt- hiding. "You promise?"

Taking a deep breath, because I've really done it now, I offer my pinky for her to see if she turned her head. I know Freddy's listening to all of this through the wall, but I try not to freak out. "Pinky swear?"

"Pinky swear." She peaks out from my shirt, and curls her little finger around mine. Okay... "Y/N... I'm scared."

"Yeah... Me too, sweetie."

What am I going to do?

[parktheghost]

sure!! i'll basically just describe what i did and hope it works for you

english lit:

i made a list of all the major themes in each book (eg for inspector calls i did selfishness, capitalism, gender, class, responsibility, generational divide) and wrote down as much as i could think of/find for all of them, like points to make, quotes, analysis, and then made detailed essay plans for each theme

by doing this you basically cover the whole book and it overlaps with the characters, and you'll basically be ready for any essay they throw at you

also don't be afraid to quote really short phrases!! they're way easier to remember than really long ones and they allow you to do more detailed language analysis

if you're struggling to think of points i think there's pretty detailed notes on physics and maths tutor!! and youtube videos are your friend

physics:

Cognito - Learn GCSE Maths, Biology, Physics and Chemistry (cognitoedu.org) this website literally saved me i can't recommend it enough

if you really don't understand something it's easiest to just memorise what you need to say for questions about it because then you can get marks even without really knowing what you're saying

practice questions are probably the best thing you can do just go to physics and maths tutor and go through as many of their question packs as you can

i struggled with physics so i made notes from the textbook on every single specification point but it took an absolute age so i'd only recommend it if you have a lot of time/ only make notes on stuff you struggle with

history:

for my exam board (ocr) there was a very set structure to how you had to answer questions to get marks, so make sure you know exactly how to answer every question even the small mark ones (your teacher should probably have told you this if it's true for your exam board)

again the specification will really help you it'll tell you everything you need to know for the exam

i made notes that basically summarised the textbook and just read them over and over until key points stuck in my head

practice essays!!! or if you don't have time make essay plans because that'll still help a lot

in the exam i didn't spend a lot of time on a plan i pretty much just wrote a few words for each paragraph to plan what i was going to make each paragraph about, which meant i had enough time to actually write my whole essay and check it

hey park do u have any advice for gcses

hi!! i can try:

don't stress too much solely based on your experience of mocks - when you do mocks you usually have like 10 exams all in one week, for actual gcses they're spread over a way longer time so it's not as rushed and you definitely feel way more prepared for them

for languages learning the vocab lists and knowing set phrases with complicated grammar will save you

for sciences and maths i would recommend looking at the specification for the subject (it's on the exam board's website) and doing a ridiculous amount of practice questions. like do as many as you can find/have time for, for gcse i found a lot of the questions were very similar to pre existing questions

for english i made huge mindmaps of each character and theme with quotes and quote analysis etc which really helped me with essays + quote learning

for geography and history. make concise notes, pray, and if all else fails make up plausible sounding statistics and dates

honestly the best thing to do in my opinion is practice papers/questions, the more you do of them the less stressful they feel and the easier they get

as soon as you're done with gcses and move onto a levels/whatever you're doing next gcses will feel completely pointless and you'll wonder why you were so scared about them. obviously try to do your best but remember it's not the end of the world if something goes badly and it's definitely not worth sacrificing mental health over!!!

good luck!! i hope this helps <33

[cicaklah]

List the first lines of your last 20 stories. See if there are any patterns and choose your favourite opening line!

Tagged by @postalninja

I tag @alienfuckeronmain @diana-fortyseven @deputychairman whoever else wants to.

1. Colin is disappointed, of course, but he accepts the excuse of a work disaster with good natured understanding and a promise that he’s up for rescheduling whenever, but with an edge to his voice that says he’s already swiping right on other professional twinks as they speak. (the pitfalls of control) - probably my favourite, I think it grabs you and is funny.

2. 47 was still struggling with the New York jet lag when Grey knocked gently on his door and ducked his head around to tell him that Olivia had cracked the bank’s hard-drives. (another day down here in paradise) - boring but functional

3. Dob is glum. (an occupational hazard) - I'm not usually one for short sentences but it works

4. When Zillah was a girl, she had always had a bit of a money-making streak, and so had the tides memorised from an early age. (watch me and you make something new) - I rewrote this entire introduction so many times and I'm still not hugely happy with it, but its better than it was originally, and sets up the theme of the volisport tourist board which I liked as a thread in the story.

5. Weddings are notoriously complex affairs to organise and deliver, especially as romance and legal procedure go together about as easily as Dob and Baths. (not very romantic but extremely legally binding) - second favourite but I wish I hadn't capitalised baths.

6. I’m going to tell you a story. (I've been the thorn, I've been the hunt) - I'd like to use this plot device again sometime.

7. He hasn’t got a lot of belongings, all told. (our moment in the sun) - again I like this with the rest of the introduction, its not complete on its own.

8. In a perfect world there would have been more of a build up than what there was; Bucky knocking on his door and holding a six pack was never going to be a cinematic moment, especially with the frequency with which he turned up. (take it easy for a little while) - this makes my head hurt, grammatically. but this is kummerfic so idgaf.

9. Lilith had thought long and hard about how she would feel on her return to Volisport. (watch me return to the scene of the crime) - another that needs its friends to really work, but it sets up immediately what the story is about, which is good.

10. Zillah’s never been particularly sensitive to the ghostly side of the world, which is one of the reasons she finds ghosts so terrifying. (watch me keep it together) - I also quite like this one for conveying a lot of characterisation in just a few words.

11. Life aboard the Joyful Damnation was pretty good, once you got your sea legs. (touched by the feasting tendrils of the night) - this story didn't work as much as I would have liked, which is a disappointment.

12. It has been a long time since the first time he went to Dartmoor. (I wish I could make you a summer in July) - I think there is a better way to write this sentence.

13. Edvard had always expected that his pivot to criminality would be a success, partly because he has a natural aptitude for deviousness, a flexible moral compass and many transferable skills, but mostly because he is an optimistic chap who doesn’t believe there’s much point in wallowing in misfortune for longer than it takes for the hangover to wear off. (watch me light up the world) - I think this works both as a long run on sentence, but also the bit before the first comma works. I am tempted to go edit 'wear off' to 'subside' since I think that would be better.

14. The freakout starts with the disappearance of Sam’s special grey hair. (without you I'm just another dorian grey) - this is the set up for the whole story and again, I think it works at conveying more and being a hook.

15. The summons to the end of things, or at least the one that he could no longer politely ignore, arrived one otherwise normal afternoon. (go let the stars watch let them stare) - does this convey dread? I think it conveys dread. it was supposed to.

16. While neither of them are as well plugged into the criminal underworld as they could be, even Kasimir maintains that sometimes the best way to get intelligence is to do the work yourself. (watch me do my own stunts) - the first line I wrote stepping onto the slippery slope that was watch me.

17. Everyone, it seems, hates London. (The Vidal Vicissitudes) - this is my second favourite. A great opener.

18. Diana leads the way out of the club with 47 hot on her patent leather heels, her white skirt swishing deliciously with every movement. (you poured the gasoline and I dove into the flames) - this picks up immediately after summers kiss and its a prelude to porn. it works.

19. In the world they walk through, there is one currency that has value above the almighty dollar, and that is information, and its denominations of gossip, whispers and innuendo. (summer's kiss to electric wire) - I like this but I also hate it. I think its too pretentious for the story that became summers kiss. I think it just needs some editing, but its just too much wankery.

20. If you’re going to be in an illicit relationship with your boss, there’s a few things that help in keeping it from getting in the way of your work. (a hit of this distortion makes me high) - to the point but idk, its fine.

thanks for tagging me in this @postalninja, I actually think I learned something!

[1a-imagines]

Hey! I have no idea if your requests are open, so if they're not, all I'd like to say is that I've been reading your stuff nonstop for like three days and I'm hooked! Your writing is amazing, thank you for sharing your talents! If requests are open, I'd like to make one, if it's not too much trouble? You wrote a request for: /Could we have some soft bakugou please? (Begs s/o to stop he just to give him attention and kisses)/ and I loved it! Could you do a Todoroki version if it's not too much?

A/n: Some soft todoroki for your souls.

Coming right up!!

I wrote this when sleepy so god knows how it turned out, but i hope you enjoy anyway!

Todoroki:

A larger hand placed itself atop of your own, stopping your pencil from moving against the paper. Your eyes followed the arm until you came face to face with your boyfriend staring down at you.

"Shoto? What's wrong?" You asked. He never interrupted you when you were studying, unless it was something urgent.

You watched his eyes shift away, his lip pursing ever so slightly. The strange and rare expression on his face only made you more curious. "You've been working for hours. You should take a break."

You tilted your head at his strange behaviour. It almost looked like he was pouting, but you figured you were just imagining it. After all, you'd never known Shoto to pout over anything before.

You used your free hand to pull him off of you so you could get back to your work. You made sure to place a kiss on his hand before letting it go. "I'll take a break later, I have a lot that I want to finish right now."

You turned back to your book, the pencil moving against paper again as you went back to your studies.

You were too focused on your notes to notice that Shoto still hadn't moved. He stood besides with an unreadable expression.

He didn't know what was wrong with him, an unfamiliar feeling had started to settle in his stomach about ten minutes ago. It all started when he looked up at you from his book and noticed you were still hard at work. It was like he was suddenly more aware of the fact you had barely paid him any attention all day, having been too busy with studying.

It was currently around 8pm and usually you two would be cuddling on the bed by now. Whether you were watching a movie together or doing your own things, you would always be sat side by side, his arm loosely wrapped around your waist as your head rested on his shoulder. It was how he liked to spend all his evenings, and after months of this ritual he had come to expect your affection.

But this time he wasn’t getting what he wanted.

He was aware it seemed childish, it made him feel like a spoiled brat to be pouting over something so insignificant, but he wasn’t sure how to get the feeling to go away. He was craving your attention and you were too busy studying to notice.

It was all because of that damn book you were studying from.

Now, don't get him wrong. He was more than supportive of your studies. He even went out of his way to test you whenever you needed it, using flashcards to help you retain the knowledge. He would also make food for you and remind you to take breaks as well.

He was always there for you.

Although, for some reason… right now he wanted nothing more than to throw that book across the room and throw you onto the bed.

Of course, he would never actually do that but the thought had crossed his mind a few times.

He huffed through his nose, when he realised he should probably just let it go. He didn't want to upset you, but he wasn't sure how much longer he could wait for you to be finished with work.

His huff had caught your attention and it broke your concentration.

You turned your head and watched as your boyfriend trudged over to the bed. You raised an eyebrow at his odd behaviour, your lip twitching up as you put your elbow over the back of the chair. "Did you seriously just huff?"

"No." He fell onto the bed, keeping his head turned from you. Though that didn't stop you from noticing his left cheek was puffed out a bit.

You couldn't help but giggle when you pieced together why he was being huffy.

You stood up and made your way over to the bed with your hands held behind your back. "Aw~ baby, what's made you so pouty?"

Of course, you already knew why, but you still wanted him to admit to it.

"I'm not pouting.."

"Uh huh." You sang teasingly.

You kneeled onto the bed, reaching over to pet his soft hair. "So you're not pouting because i'm not giving you attention?"

"No."

"So then you don't want to cuddle?"

"...."

You didn't need an answer, his silence said enough. You let out another laugh before laying down on top of him and pressing a kiss to his cheek.

You still had work you wanted to finish tonight but a small break to satisfy your boyfriends need’s wouldn’t kill you. There was no way you could live with yourself if you left your boyfriend alone right now. It was clear he was in some dire need of hugs and kisses.

Luckily for him, you had the cure.

It didn't take a second longer for his arm to encase you in a possessive hug, keeping you warmly pressed against his chest. "Honey, if you want cuddles or kisses you can just ask for them you know? There's no need to pout."

"I told you I wasn't pouting." was he really still denying it?

You giggled again. "Don't be embarrassed, I think it's cute."

His gaze went to the wall, as if to avoid you at all costs. "Are you done trying to tease me?"

"Depends, is it working?" You grinned and tilted your head upwards to be met with his red stained cheeks. You no longer needed him to answer to know that it was.

His expression was so cute, it looked like he was trying to be annoyed but his eyes were giving him away. He was too happy with having you back in his arms to be annoyed.

You leaned up and pressed a kiss to the tip of his nose. "I'd be lying if I said this side of you wasn't sweet though."

"You like seeing me jealous?" He raised an eyebrow.

"Well- when it's over a dumb book? Yes." You snickered.

He stared down at you, his eyes burning into your own. For a moment, you thought he was going to kiss you, but he ended up abruptly turning his head away. These new feelings he had must have really hurt his pride. "I always want your attention.."

"Hmm? What was that?" You leaned in close, your nose brushing against his when you tilted your head so you were back in his field of vision. You didn't want to miss any of these rare expressions. You had to memorise them all while you had the chance!

He pushed your face away from him. "Stop it, I know you heard me." Your playfulness made him smile and for a second you thought your heart had melted.

He had such a nice smile and it always felt more special when you were the cause of it.

He loved how you were able to effortlessly put a smile on his face, something he usually struggled with. You were like the missing piece in his life he had always been looking for. Even hearing your laugh made his lips curl up. It was such a melodic tune to his ears.

Your playfulness had been one of the first things he found so alluring about you. There was just something so endearing about seeing you making everyone around you smile with your cheesy jokes and goofy behaviour. It made you feel like a bright star on a cold dark night.

"I did hear you, but you can't blame me for wanting to indulge in the moment. You're acting like a big softie right now, not that there's anything wrong with that! But don't judge me for taking advantage." You stuck out your tongue only to have your cheeks squished between his two hands.

"Are you sure you want to play this game, love? You know you'll never win."

He was right, you were already blushing at the thought of him teasing you.

Strangely enough, he was pretty good at it. You had been dating for a while now and it seemed as every day passed by shoto was learning more and more about how relationships worked. He was getting comfortable being around you which meant confidence and teasing were following close behind it.

Maybe that was your fault though, maybe he had picked up that habit from you after almost a year of you doing that same thing to him.

He just couldn't seem to get enough of that cute expression you made when he was teasing you about how adorable you are, or the height difference between you two.

He only would ever tease you when the two of you were alone, so it was never too embarrassing.

However, no matter how many times you tried to tell the others about how teasing he could be, they never believed you. Not like you would believe it either. The first time he had done it you had to do a double take, not sure if you had heard him right, so it was understandable everyone else thought you were just joking.

If you were completely honest, you weren’t even sure he knew he was doing it most of the time. He was blunt and sometimes he would say things without giving them a second thought, despite them leaving you a red, hot, mess.

“I don’t need to win, I just need to see you blush.” you replied as you felt his hands grab your own and intertwine your fingers together.

Making him blush was easier said than done.

He wasn't particularly smooth with his words or feelings, but he was still much better at making you blush than you were at making him blush.

In your defense your flirtations usually went over his head. You’d either be met with a blank stare of confusion or he would be correcting you if he had taken what you had said literally. It was actually really cute. Despite him never understanding you'd be a liar if you said you didn't still enjoy his reactions. They just seemed so innocent!

"I don't understand your fascination with making me blush."

"I just think it's cute is all." You kissed his nose before going back to rest on his chest.

You two managed to stay like that for hours, your studying had been temporarily forgotten as you both lay there in a blissful silence.

It was so comfortable, he was warm and you loved being able to rub your face into his chest. Neither of you talked a whole lot, mainly it was just cuddling and relaxing in each other's arms. Which is, honestly, how you preferred it. You didn’t need to fill every silence with conversation, you were able to just relax without things becoming awkward.

After waiting another 30 minutes you realised you should at least try and finish the chapter you were on before passing out for the night.  

You peaked up to see Shoto’s eyes were closed. His steady breathing indicated he was fast asleep and you grinned.

Finally, you could finish that damn work now! It might be late but it would bug you all night if you didn’t finish what you started.

Plus it meant less work to do tomorrow morning.

You slowly and carefully pushed yourself up onto all fours, trying your best not to disturb him as you pulled his arms from around you and placed them down by his sides.

He looked so peaceful.

You couldn’t help but press one last sweet kiss to his cheek before you pushed yourself up.

Though you didn’t make it far. You felt his hand shoot out and grab you by your waist.

You let out a yelp when he pulled you back down onto his chest and rolled over so you were under him with no means of escape.

“Oh! Haha, you’re hilarious!" You groaned sarcastically. "But I still have work to finish.”

You groaned again at the weight on top of you. Trying your best to wiggle out of his tight grip. When you didn’t hear a response you looked up to see his eyes were still closed.

You glared.

“Don’t pretend you didn’t hear me! I know you're awake! I have to finish my work! Get off me you lazy butt!” You began to struggle to push him off of you but he was persistent not to move. His whole weight was leaning down on top of you, keeping you helplessly trapped against the mattress.

After a good few minutes of trying to grab at freedom you eventually sighed and gave up. He was too heavy!

There was just no winning with him today.

“Fine.. I guess I’ll finish my work in the morning.” You muttered, finally giving in.

“Was that so hard?”

“I knew you were awake!! You sneaky little mmph-” You were cut off by the feeling of his lips on yours. “You need sleep anyway, you’ve been working too hard. I promise I’ll help you study in the morning. Just sleep with me right now, I missed you today."

How could you say no to that!? He was just too cute!! Especially when he got sleepy like this. You managed to wiggle out an arm so you could reach up to run your fingers through his locks. You heard him hum in delight, he always did like the feeling of your fingers softly massaging his scalp "Fine. Let's sleep then."

You could see him smile in victory at hearing you had finally given in.

"Goodnight darling, I love you.”

You nuzzled his cheek with your nose and let your eyes flutter shut.

“I love you too.”