#i'd love to tell you
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Nothing like uncovering levels of mental illness you hadn't realized you'd reached while sorting through stuff to move. Next therapy session in 3 weeks (cause move and my therapist is on vacation) should prove interesting :)))))
#i'm fine atm#but hot damn was teenage me Not Okay & I should probably talk about that with someone#bc it has yet to be properly addressed#also have more to add to the ongoing 'I was very much failed by the public school system & the adults in my life in spectacular ways' file#brought to you by discovering that at 16 i thought it important to save things such as a psat student guide#which i again kept at 18 when heading off to college#and again at 23 when i moved out of my parents house for the first time#and only just threw away now#i am 32 and this was a 17 year old psat guide book#why did i keep it at all let alone this long???#great question#i'd love to tell you#but i don't have an answer#i don't know why i kept things like that or “all of the decorations from my 16th birthday party”#but i *did*#and while they were not in this particular box i remember also keeping 'every magazine i got from age 10 until i graduated high school'#and like damn i knew i was autistic and mentally ill#but this is extreme#i felt *guilty* throwing away the damn psat booklet and it's for a version of the test they no longer give!!!#“what if i want it again?”#hey me i can absolutely promise that won't happen#you won't want your high school id either#pls chill & speak with a therapist
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Sycco - I'd Love To Tell You
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HOT, SINGLE, UNSTUDIED SPONGES. 3000 NAUTICAL MILES AWAY. Come sail the distance and read Tiger Tiger!
#tiger tiger#ludovica bonnaire#remy bonnaire#jamis arlesi#This comic has been on my radar for *years* and I only recently - finally - sat down to read it. And by god is it amazing.#I don't want to spoil anything! But if you like amazing art and character writing *and* high seas adventure? READ TIGER TIGER.#If you asked my who my favourite character is I could not tell you. I truly like them all!!!#I even like the sleezeball who has less charm than a dead rat. He's *my* darling little rat man. With every disease.#A special shout out to my lad (he is the lad of all time) Jamis Arlesi.#Who - upon walking into frame makes me go 'Sir! Is your bosom too heavy? Do you need a new bra? My hands are free on Thursdays!'#And Ludo! My lass! I love her dearly! Every page made me more fond of her.#Book smart and uses it in very good ways! Naive enough to think it is all she needs! Learns a lot and stays kind through the horrors!#I could go on and on but...you...the person reading this...you *are* going to read it - aren't you?#So I'd hate to spoil you any more! Go read Tiger Tiger! Do it! For the sea sponges!#Rumour has it they are also freshly divorced. It was messy. Sea sponge needs a distraction. That could be you. Distracting that sponge.#You wont know until you click that link and start reading!
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It seems there's a new lawyer in town!!!
#I think she's one of the most underutilized characters ever I will DIE on this hill#she can hear people's feelings that is the COOLEST concept ever#you get people who can hear thoughts a lot and that's cool but hearing FEELINGS is such a sick and unique concept#AND SHES A LAWYER#THATS THE COOLEST CAREER YOU COULD GIVE SOMEONE WHO CAN HEAR FEELINGS THAT OPENS DOORS FOR SO MANY GOOD STORIES#I'D LOVE IN AA TO PLAY CASES AS HER WHERE YOU HAVE TO WORK BACKWARDS FROM PEOPLE'S EMOTIONS TO FIGURE OUT MYSTERIES#IT'S A WHOLE NEW SIDE TO THE EVIDENCE#AND SUBTLE HIDDEN FEELINGS KEEP GUIDING HER AND PPL JUST CANT KEEP UP WITH HOW SHE WORKS... STUFF LIKE THAT WOULD BE INTERESTING#WHY ISN'T IT UTILIZED WHY DO WE JUST HAVE PSUEDOSCIENCE MINIGAME#ATHENA IS SO LIKEABLE AND CHARMING AND FULL OF LIFE TOO#PLEASE CAPCOM#I LOV E HER PLEASE#GIVE US A CRAZY MOMENT WHERE SHE TAKES PHOENIX ASIDE HALFWAY THROUGH A CASEAND TELLS HIM HIS CLIENT WAS JUST ELATED AT THE SIGHT OF A CORPS#OR DO IT IN THE GAMEPLAY WHERE THE PLAYER SPOTS IT IN THE MOOD MATRIX#omg yeah actually that'd make me shit my pants that'd be so cool#proper ghost trick moment#THERE'S SO MUCH COOL STUFF YOu can do fuck okay sorry there are so many tags now#can you tell I got feelings abt this character I LOVE HER so much Im in love w her tbh and she's also so me#ace attorney#athena cykes#my art#have a good day thanks for looking at my art haha
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jesus christ could you get any gayer
#i'd tell them to get a room but they'd most likely kill everyone in it#so i won't#i am a proud subscriber to drawing these fuckers with antlers and you can't take that away from me#anyways yeah no this was just an excuse to draw will in a waistcoat i can't help it i'm sorry i love formal wear#*runs away*#hannibal#hannibal nbc#hannibal lecter#will graham#hannigram#click for nicer colours because tumblr is evil and stole all my saturation
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makes me giggle to think of X2 Logan meeting dp&w Logan when this is a thing
#“don't tell me you fuckin liked it 🤨” “you have no idea 😃”#x2 logan is going to see that in the tva screens and go 🤨😳🏳️🌈⁉️#dp&w Logan going “you don't understand he's fucked up he's my favorite of these assholes”#and then turn around and yell at wade “FUCKTARD”#hear the distinct “oh he's adorable can't resist flirting with me across the room LOVE YOU TOO SHITFACE”#“KEEP AN EYE ON OUR DAUGHTER OR IT'S MY SWORDS IN YOUR DELICIOUS ABS IN THREE SECONDS”#x2 Logan going 🤨 at the daughter in question mary puppins#Logan being as hung up on Jean as he'd been might just Reconsider mr wade wilson#👀👀👀👀👀👀👀#pspsps Logan#one rainbow brigade bitch to another? i dont think jean can do that#she clawed u up that one time but see what walmart santa claus is doing here#he's riddling you with bullets ✅ fuckin emptying the cartridges on your scrumdiddlydumptruck ass#he's stabbing adamantium ADAMANTIUM swords in you up until the sword hilts ✅#Logan listen#jean needed to be with phoenix first before Doing All Those Things Which She Did With You#but Deadpool? Deadpool is in it for the shits and giggles#Look. I'm not a woman of science. But there seems to be Chemistry among us.#I'd hit the emergency meeting button but i don't fucking want to 😁#deadpool and wolverine#deadpool#wolverine#deadpool 3#deadpool 2024#logan howlett#wade wilson#poolverine#deadclaws#Deadpool and Wolverine Honda#Deadpool and Wolverine Honda Odyssey
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average post about paul mccartney: I want to bend him over and fuck him so hard he starts crying god I hate him so much my beautiful princess
average post about john lennon: estrogen would have saved her. look at her. that's My Wife. she's evil. she's insane. I want her.
average post about george harrison: has anyone ever served this hard? personally, he should have murdered john and paul and ran off to have beautiful bisexual sex forever and ever 🫶
average post about ringo starr: ringo! 🥁
#or maybe this is just my mutuals but. when I tell you this really sums it up......#I do just want to show beatleblr posts to the 1964 era beatles girls I think they'd either love it or hate it#and I think the ones that would love it.... well I'd be their friend#like let's go dorris let's discuss fucking paul
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christ sometimes I just wanna. steal a time machine & go back & sit down next to my 9-year-old self and just like. let them pull out their pokemon card binder & gush about their holographic gyarados or whatever. I'd just smile & ask questions about motherfukcing bulbasaur & tell my kid self that I thought they were a neat person, & someday they'd find other people who thought so too.
like i'm a grown adult who honestly finds most kids stuff boring, but. damn if i could go back & hang out with my baby self & listen to them ramble...just so they knew someone was listening. i would in a heartbeat. thinking about u kid
#wouldn't roll my eyes or check my phone or get bored or nothing#I'd just listen to that little dork & smile & encourage them & let them explain how their favorite gameboy games worked#i was the kind of kid my adult self would find annoying & uninteresting but like#most of the actual adults in my childhood felt that way too. including my dang parents.#and ya know sometimes they showed it. a lot of times without realizing it. and that messes a kid up#if you don't make an effort kids WILL recognize your disinterest and lack of attention.#kids deserve to have caregivers who show interest and engagement#even when it's over stuff that adults find boring. especially then maybe#your kid doesn't have to be fun or interesting or easy or well behaved to deserve positive attention#they deserve positive attention because they are YOUR KID#if love is unconditional then DISPLAYS of LOVE and AFFECTION must also be unconditional#not something that must be earned#telling your kid that you love them is not enough. that is step one out of like a thousand#if you just tell your kid you love them but you don't demonstrate affection and interest and patience and warmth and etcetera#your kid isn't gonna feel loved! I Love You will just become a trite phrase that they regard with mistrust!#bitch you gotta FOLLOW THROUGH
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Um. Remember the famed audio post that got corrupted? I made a new one 🫣
#bitts posts#my audio#I'll reblog this in a bit with a pic of the toy... it's glass and spiral shaped and I love it#can you tell that I'd already been playing for a while#nsft#ns/fw
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Sometimes I want to bring Morrigan but then I remember I play as a face-tanking rogue and I bring Wynne. Warden Cousland, Morrigan, Wynne / Dragon Age Origins (c) Bioware
#dragon age#dragon age fan art#comic#morrigan#warden cousland#healer#bioware#dao#dragon age origins#hero of ferelden#cousland#wynne#I'm back. I guess.#I did not notice at first but apparently I took a break from tumblr. I've already had several breakdowns over the dashboard.#(turns out I was on the 'for you' tab rather than the 'following' tab. the theme had changed as well. absolutely insufferable.)#I've felt really unconnected for a while but it actually feels better now? as if my tumblr mutuals was the missing link.#very healthy and hot of me ngl#so. I had a two week holiday this year and they were instantly slurped up. it went so fast!#there was this big football thing the week before my holiday - basically teams of teens come from all around the world to play etc.#I heard a girl tell her teammates that 'I'd love to travel on this bus every morning; happy people all around you; just add some music...'#she was also very excited when the bridge opened. the 'happy people' around her sighed bitterly and leaned back for a ten minute wait.#it is thankfully over now. the bus home is no longer stuffed full of football teams. but it's a fun experience for the players etc etc etc#well. in other thrilling news I went to spy on our sister shops during my time off. to see what they do differently. maybe steal some ideas#one store was like an instagram post with fancy teacups and stylish outfits. who knew a second-hand store could be so boring.#the other was like a man-cave with furniture and a passively-aggressive note by the toys stating that 'if u break it u pay. idiot. tnx<3'.#the man-cave was my favourite :)#rant over now! take care and bye etc!
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Love this guy. The Gucket...
Also I was messing around with the colours and I kind of love these.
#If I had a nickel for every time I became obsessed with a cartoon old man after their tragic backstory was revealed in a series#of video diary entries detailing their decent into maddness that the characters watch in dawning horror on a screen... I'd have two nickels#also love when people give him a lil beard braid so I did that#Also also you can tell which single episode I used as reference because of that damn bandage. I forgor it wasn't a regular design element#Gravity Falls#fiddleford mcgucket#fiddleford hadron mcgucket#old man mcgucket#GF fanart#Fan art#fanart#digital art#artists on tumblr#my art
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Inspired by @rain-element and stolen from @hornystuckposting, I've decided two of my partners need some time off :3 they're not gonna be allowed to cum for as long as these results say ^w^ hehe
The rules are as follows:
+2 hours for each like
+4 hours for each comment
+6 hours for each reblog
+12 hours for each anon ask I get
+18 hours for each non-anon ask I get
+12 hours for every new follower from here until the end of this poll
Only notes gotten until the poll ends count ^w^ they'll each be required to immediately do whatever the final results say
#please do send to your friends >:3 and tell me if you do#I'd love to tease them with that knowledge that people are directly recruiting help
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Went to apply for a job, midway through I learned that the person hiring is someone I respect very, very much in my field (who I have never spoken to), then saw the application site was closed (How Did I Miss the Deadline for this Really Cool Job!!!!) and then saw that it was the website's fault and that they were taking applications through LinkedIn DM's. So I did the premium trial & sent my reel in, and they told me they're sending it to recruitment/leads and that it's a good reel!!!! And then the person I have respected for years sent me a friend request!
I'm beside myself!!
#Honestly?? I'd love this job but to have this professional who I've really admired for years tell me my reel was good enough#to send forward to people in this company#If they tell me I need more experience or more professional development I won't even be mad!!! I'd be like you know what sir!!!#You sure as Hell Know Better Than I Do!#I legitimately owe so much of my success to what this person very generously provided to students at affordable prices. So much!!#I'm sure the friend request was to prevent me from having to stay on premium to speak with them but STILL!
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Random Rook and Neve sketch dump
#dragon age#neve gallus#neve#veilguard#datv#rook#myart#consistency? I'd love to meet her someday#first time I have picked up a pen to draw something for myself in like six years or sth its crazy#can yall tell I am distracting myself from the hell that is my life#good old hyperfixations I did not miss you#Neves nose btw is *chefs kiss* So much fun to draw
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not quite sure where this originally comes from but i saw this picture and couldn't help but think of the permit office people-
#cub running experiments on grian skizz and scar-#enrichment#like little lab rats#hes already putting them through labyrinthss#please if someone knows where this picture originally comes from i'd love to know#“its fine for me to do this if you live in my building i can use your data” has the same energy as cub telling mumbo his shop sucked#c: “thank goodness its gone” m: “i almost can't argue-”#permit office#poe poe#permit office enforcement#cubfan135#grian#goodtimeswithscar#gtwscar#gtws#skizzleman#hermitcraft s10#hermitcraft#hc s10#hc 10#hermitcraft season 10#pixls things
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— 𝐟𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐮𝐭𝐞𝐬.
and the smell of camphor dancing in the wind.
✦ info: he didn't know he'd lose you so soon. (come back, please. even if it is just for five more minutes.)
✦ featuring: alhaitham.
✦ warnings: angst, character death (reader), heartache, 1.2k words, somewhat proof-read.
✦ notes: i cried so goddamn hard writing this. why is my first work after hiatus pain. why did i pick up the angst wip. but!! i'm writing again, so that's good. (more notes at the end.)
he didn’t know that it was your last day together.
he didn’t know that the smile you gave him that afternoon, your eyes sparkling like sunlight upon the serene waves of the ocean, would be the last he’d ever see. that the playful light in your gaze would fade so very soon, slipping through his fingers like sand.
he didn’t know that last night would be the last time he held you close while you drifted off to sleep. he didn’t know that today would be the last time he’d wake up with you.
he didn’t think he’d lose you like this.
he didn’t think he wouldn’t be able to save you from that blow.
“please, please,” he begs, both to you and to whatever force that is just barely holding you together. “just stay with me for five more minutes, please. until i can get you somewhere.”
the rain soaks him to the bone, clothes and hair sticking to his skin. your lips stay motionless, eyes shut.
“wake up, please,” he bargains. “you can have all the five minutes of extra sleep you want later, i promise. just—” his vision blurs, and something shines on the ground before it is gone, swallowed by damp earth, lost amidst drops of falling rain.
desperately, he tears off parts of his traveling cloak to staunch the bleeding. deep inside, he knows it is futile. he knows your wound is too great. he knows what lies ahead. but he cannot help but press the cloths to your wound and pray.
please, please tell me it’ll be okay.
please stay with me, beloved. i’ll read you all the books in the world. i’ll sleep in with you everyday, even if we end up whiling away our time.
please. stay. stay with me. i can’t lose you yet.
“— just wake up, beloved.”
by some miracle, your eye flutters. just a bit. just enough to set hope ablaze, just enough for the grip on his heart to loosen a tiny bit. he buries his face in your shoulder, resting his head against your neck, uncaring of the blood that stains his clothes. your blood. on his clothes. his hands. everywhere.
no. no. this can’t be happening.
he feels you strain beneath him, your unwounded arm gently, weakly brushing his back. he jolts upright, eyes trained on your face. you send a frail smile his way. he clasps your face softly as you nuzzle into his palm.
“alhaitham—”
his full name. archons, how long has it been since you called him that?
“— take good care of yourself, okay?” you tell him, chest heaving, your fingertips touching a tear on his cheeks. “i love you. so much.”
those are the last words he hears fall from your lips. he presses a kiss to your forehead, to your eyelids, and to your cheeks and to your lips, over and over and over until he feels your breath slow, hoping they’ll say what he knows he cannot manage to choke out.
i love you.
he stays there next to you for who knows how long, holding you until the rain slows and a faint rainbow smiles in the sky.
until he can’t smell camphor anymore.
—
every person has their curiosities.
they’re just the little traits that set them apart from others, the things that make them tick just a little bit differently, the things that make them, them.
for instance, someone may be obsessed with collecting tiny furniture, while another eats the crusts off their sandwich before actually consuming it. someone may have an affinity for the most niche aspects of linguistics, while another can accurately predict the next raindrop that slides down a window pane.
after all, no two people are exactly alike, are they?
alhaitham knows he’s got his fair share of these curiosities himself. his aversion to soup and all things that resemble it, to name one. and with you, he’d noticed two things.
number one: the scent of camphor that seems to linger on every inch of your person.
he’d caught whiff of it almost immediately the first time you met. you were but one of his juniors in the akademiya, filled with bright-eyed curiosity and anxiety to match. you had tripped over a stair and bumped into his table in the library, bringing the mountain of books in your arms crashing down.
and with subsequent coincidental meetings, he learnt that the subtle scent of camphor dancing in the air meant you weren’t far away.
you were, unfortunately, one of the poor souls who seemed to be cursed with constantly recurring minor illnesses, and almost always walked about with a stuffy nose. and so, you always carried a small disc of camphor in a handkerchief, as well as in your pocket.
you swore up and down, left, right and center that sniffing the vapors helped make breathing easier.
‘it’s my grandmother’s remedy, alhaitham! camphor always works wonders. well, that and eucalyptus oil.”
alhaitham may not know the validity of your claim or the legitimacy of the cure, but he knew to never, ever question a grandmother’s remedy. that, and he’d much rather refrain from starting a back-and-forth about something so small.
and number two: your neverending pleas of different variations of ‘just five more minutes!’
“five more minutes, ‘haitham. please.” you’d whine grumpily when he woke you up to start your day. “let me sleep in for five more minutes.”
“five more minutes, habibi,” you’d ask when he put down the story you’d requested he read out to you before bedtime. “read me the part where she finds the music box?”
“five more minutes, baby,” is what you’d tell him when he asks how much longer you’d take getting ready. “you can’t rush perfection!”
those five more minutes were never five minutes long.
but he’d always, always indulged you and those pleading eyes of yours. as stoic as he appeared to be, you lived in his heart. of course he could never deny you anything under the sun.
—
alhaitham remembers that silly little song you sang over and over, the one you’d learnt from a kid in the bazaar. he’d taken you to see one of nilou’s performances, and, friendly soul that you were, you’d struck up a conversation with some of the eager audience members before the play.
“oh, how i wish i was a bird flying free,
i’d see the world, every mountain and every sea!
oh, how i wish i was a cloud in the sky,
wouldn’t you like to wave to me as i pass by?”
you’d hum that rhyme on every idle afternoon.
loss is inevitable. he knows that, with how logical and rational and straightforward he is. he’d lost his parents, but he was far too young to remember. he’d lost his grandmother, but she passed in her sleep of old age, serene and wise.
but you? he didn’t think you’d leave him this soon. a singular wish sits in his soul, making its home in his bones.
a wish that you’d come back, somehow.
he wishes you gave him five more minutes, just as he always did. but he knows that you could’ve given him five more hours, five more days, five more years and five more decades and it would still not be enough time spent with you.
a blue feathered bird comes to perch on his shoulder, interrupting his musings just as he raises his face to the sky. he sees the heart shaped cloud that floats idly above sumeru city.
he thinks of the rhyme again, and something in him tells him to wave. and so he does. a scent so familiar lingers, faintly brushing his nose in the wind that picks up.
“alhaitham, it's time to go.” kaveh calls his name softly.
alhaitham doesn't move. “five more minutes,” he says, echoing your favorite phrase. “i smell camphor in the breeze.”
✦ extra notes: my alhaitham characterization for this fic stems from how i believe that when alhaitham is attached, he's attached. so i focused more on that, and less of all that rationality and whatnot. this one loves deeply, yk?
that camphor thing is a real grandma remedy in our household (my mom would tie some in a hanky and put some under my pillow and still to this day reminds me to do it when i'm sick) which is what originally sparked the idea for this
when i'd initially started this wip, i didn't expect it go this way. usually i write with my brain, but i think i wrote this one with my fingers working faster than i can think hsjhsj so sorry if it's kinda out of place lmao but yk what? i'm happy with it still even though i feel like it doesn't have my usual quality.
thanks for reading.
#—🖋#・ nouveau livre ˎˊ˗#astronetwrk#genshin x reader#alhaitham x reader#genshin impact x reader#genshin impact x you#alhaitham x you#genshin x you#emotional blabbering ahead in the tags beware#this is hitting me in a place i didn't know existed hjsjs#like. i haven't lost anyone but i have lost my life as i know it?#this past year was full of so many endings and i've been struggling in some way everyday#like i didn't know that the last time i saw my friends would truly be the last time we ever saw each other#i didn't know that i'd be bidding goodbye to my parents as i left home through an airport#ANYWAY ENOUGH DUMPING. ig i'm just telling you to hug the people you love tighter and cherish every moment you spend with them#time goes by really quickly and you don't know where it'll go#ily guys#ew barf feelings </3 /j
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