#i'd like to say violence ensues but in the end all the brothers probably wind up splitting the cost and presenting it together

[zephyrchama]

"This is it!" Mammon squeezed the magazine he was reading with both hands. He brought the page closer to his face to scour the words one more time. Then he announced, "It's perfect!"

Lucifer ignored him.

Mammon pushed his shades up so his bright blue eyes would twinkle better in the candlelight. "Heya, big brother... My bestest big bro in all a' the three realms."

Lucifer continued to ignore him.

"Biiig brotherrrr. Big bro. You'll never guess what I just found in a million years." Mammon shuffled across the room and plopped down on the couch where Lucifer was sitting. He wrapped an arm around Lucifer's shoulders and leaned down to gaze up innocently, much to the elder's chagrin.

The magazine was shoved under Lucifer's nose, opened to a full page advertisement for a very flashy dragonscale necklace. It boasted multiple enchantments, numerous rave reviews from celebrity endorsers, and a price tag anyone would balk at.

"You have plenty of necklaces," Lucifer said with a dismissive nudge to drive Mammon out of his personal space. "You don't need any more. Now back up."

Mammon tutted and grabbed his magazine back. "No, no. Big bro, you just don' get it. Wouldn't this look great on our human?"

Lucifer's ear perked up for just a moment. The magazine fell into Mammon's lap as he raised his hands, getting ready to pitch his idea. Lucifer readied to humor him.

"Picture it. Their birthday or somethin' is comin' up, yeah? They wake up all giddy in the mornin'. They come into the living room that's all decked out with balloons and gems and--"

"Who will be decorating the living room?"

Mammon shushed him loudly, "that ain't important right now! Er, I mean... gah, just lemme finish!" He didn't want to get on Lucifer's bad side and risk losing funding for this necklace, but Mammon was in the zone. He felt lucky. "The human comes over to me, and I give 'em this pretty little box. They're excited. They open it to find this awesome necklace that glitters in the light, suits 'em perfectly, and they go 'oh Mammon! You're the greatest! I love you forever! You're my favorite! Thank you so much, Great Mam--'"

"I get the picture. I've heard enough." Lucifer interrupted before Mammon's highly inaccurate falsetto impersonation caused him to go deaf.

"So, are you gonna give me the cash to get it?" Mammon wondered if he could find a shop willing to haggle the price of the necklace down so that he could pick up some other nice things. As a treat.

"No."

Mammon groaned and slumped back, sliding halfway off the couch. He looked seconds away from kicking his feet. "What'd ya get my hopes up for, huh? C'mon, man! It's for the human!"

Lucifer picked up the magazine before it fell to the floor. He studied the necklace page while Mammon threw his mini tantrum. When the younger finally stopped swearing under his breath and noticed, he attempted to unceremoniously snag the magazine back. Lucifer had already turned away and held it out of his reach.

With a chuckle, Lucifer said, "This would suit them, wouldn't it? I can't wait to hear how much they love me when I present it to them."