#i'd have two nickels but it really sucks it happened twice

[lynchs-finch]

Mixing Business With Pleasure*✧:*₊ °

An N$FW Ross Lynch x gn!Reader Fic

Summary: Living together has done wonders for you and Ross's relationship, in large part thanks to having access to each other's bodies any time you want. Recently, though, Ross has been brushing you aside in favor of interviews and business meetings. Like any good partner, though, you choose not to get mad at him. Instead, you're getting even. Word Count: 4,086 Rating: Mature (Oral Sex, Fingering) A/N: If I had a nickel for every time a picture of Ross in his underwear inspired me to write an x Reader smut, I'd have two nickels, which isn't a lot and it's weird that it's only happened twice.

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You were going to suck Ross’s dick in the middle of a business meeting and you were going to enjoy every second of it. He’d be embarrassed, sure, and you’d most likely cost him a brand deal, but Ross had it more than coming to him after the way he had been treating you the past few months.

For the majority of your time living together, you and Ross have been content to get down and dirty anywhere in your house that could fit the both of you. There just never seemed to be a reason to turn down Ross offering to let you explore his chiseled body, nor did he seem to find a reason to turn down pleasuring yours.

This more than okay arrangement between the two of you was recently disrupted when the wider world decided to bring Ross back into the public eye. Even though he was yours first, the unyielding capitalist machine required that his time be eaten up by interviews, promos, and talks about brand sponsorships before you knew it. So now the sexy, usually half naked man who only wants you even though everybody and their mother wants him doesn’t have fuck you ‘cause some stupid unpaid intern named Marcus or Karen or Reese was interviewing him for a newspaper nobody reads because it’s not the 1960s anymore.

Needless to say, Ross’s new schedule bugged you a bit.

You’d brought it up to him over and over again, but his response was the same each time. There was always “too much to do right then,” and he promised that he’d “make it up to you later.” You would then point out the fact he never did, and he wouldn’t say anything- just make those sad puppy eyes like not touching you was the hardest thing he’d ever been forced to do. So, with sadness in your heart and heat in your pants, you’d make a joke about giving him head in the middle of a zoom call to lighten the mood, the both of you under the impression that you’d never do something like that.

After that day’s iteration of the conversation, though, you had an epiphany- why shouldn’t you suck him off in front of a bunch of rich, stuck-up Disney executives? Maybe it’d finally draw his attention away from the people stuffing his pockets each day and back to the person who should be sucking what was underneath them every night. Plus, if time was the issue, there was really nothing for him to do but multi-task, right?

So, at 3:58 PM, you sat yourself down on a beanbag in Ross’s studio and waited for him to walk in. Sure enough, there he was a minute later in his delightfully odd business attire.

“Hey,” His stressed and vaguely dissociated pre-meeting face gave way to a smile and wave once he noticed you, “You hanging around for the meeting?”

Before responding, you made a show of shamelessly checking him out. His button-down shirt and blazer looked nice, and his tie was alright, but what you were really looking at were his pants–or lack thereof.  Ross’s philosophy of never wearing pants unless strictly necessary applied even to high-stakes meetings with Disney, which made your plan much easier.

“Yeah,” You laughed as he looked down at himself, faking shock at the fact he wasn’t wearing pantss, “I’ll stay quiet, don’t worry.”

Ross gave you a thumbs up as he walked over to his desk. There was no treat quite like watching him walk away, especially since he’d started buying his underwear two sizes too small. The pair he was wearing today, some red-and-black striped Hollister briefs, would’ve hugged his figure even if they were his size, but the added tightness meant you could see the outline of everything.

Ross hopped into his desk chair, logging into his laptop and joining the zoom meeting. He slipped on his rosegold over-ear headphones, humming the opening notes of Rumors as he plugged them in. Biding your time, you watched him open the meeting and plotted your route in.

He was sitting how he always did—leaned back in his chair with his legs spread wide—more than enough room for you to kneel between. His tall desk left you at little risk of bumping your head and the carpeted flooring combined with his noise-canceling headphones meant he wouldn’t be able to hear you coming. Really, all there was to it was pulling his underwear down and sucking him off fast enough that he got hard before he came to his senses and sent you away. In your time with him, you’d learned that it’d take a forklift to pull him out of you once he was into it, even if it meant Little Mister Disney and his subordinates seeing his orgasm face and bare lower half live in living color

After about ten minutes had passed, and Ross’s conversation had gone from boring introductory small talk to boring business discussion, you quietly slid off the beanbag and began crawling on all fours. Though you knew first hand that Ross’s headphones were powerful enough to block out any noise you may have made, there was still a certain kind of thrill in trying to sneak across the floor. Like you were an expert spy or thief, except the “package” you were after was far too thick and heavy to ever dream of stealing. Simply running your fingers (and younge) over it was all you could hope to achieve and all you could ever want.

In no time, you had gotten yourself into position without being noticed and now rested on your knees, eye-to-eye with Ross’s cock. It was covered by his underwear, but it’s prominent head, thick trunk, and balls were all clearly outlined. You looked away from it and up at him for a moment, almost laughing aloud to yourself at how completely unaware he was. Fully in business mode, equipped with a tight brow, slight frown, and absolutely zero awareness of what was about to happen next.

Keeping your eyes on his face, you gripped the waistband of his underwear with both of your hands at his hips and yanked them down as far as you could. You watched his eyes all but pop out of his head and heard the fabric of his underwear rip as his legs jumped up out of surprise.

“What the f-” Ross shouted, almost cursing at the top of his lungs. Undeterred by your boyfriends surprise, you dove your head in between his legs, pulling his (now torn) underwear the rest of the way off. You lapped his soft dick up into your mouth, feeling it begin to harden as your ran your tongue over the tip a few times.

“Mr. Lynch, is everything alright?” You heard somebody ask.

“Yeah, just…” Ross’s voice shook as you firmly ran your tongue up the underside of his shaft. You could tell he was suppressing a moan as he continued, “Just my cat.”

Your lips curled into a smile—or, as much of one as they could with a dick in your mouth. You didn’t have a cat, but you did have him right where you wanted him. There was no way he was gonna push you off of him now that he was hard, and he wouldn’t just ditch the negotiations, either.

Ross proved you right instantly, going right back into business talk as slowly bobbed your head back and forth on his cock. You went easy on him for the moment, moving slowly, keeping your tongue only slightly involved, and not having more than half of his 8-inches in your mouth at once. Him thinking this was a treat for him would only add to the pleasure of humiliating him.

A few minutes passed, and Ross was laughing and chatting as if you weren’t there. You took this opportunity to pick up the pace, occasionally stopping to run your tongue over the head of his dick, slurping up a little bit of precum and letting the saliva drooling out of your mouth take its place. Above you, his voice again began to take on a shaky quality, and he even let a moan slip out which he tried (and failed) to cover with a cough.

Just as Ross fixed his lips to apologize for his sudden “cough,” you took a deep breath, opened your throat, and dove mouth-first into Ross’s crotch, taking all of Ross’s cock into your mouth as quickly as you could. The experience was familiar to you—the coarse underside of his cock running against your tongue until the tip slammed into your with your soft palate. Then, you went down even harder, feeling its girth press against the walls of your throat until his balls were against your chin, your nose was deep in his bush, and all 8-inches of Ross were squeezed into your mouth.

The chair shook as Ross pounded an armrest with his fist, letting out a strangled groan—as if whatever curse he was about to shout had lodged itself in his throat the same way his cock was lodged in yours. He looked up to the sky, shakily exhaling as his thighs tensed against your cheeks.

With a unstable voice and exasperated affect, Ross apologized for his outburst and continued speaking. You contracted your throat around his dick periodically as he did, shivering each time his voice wavered thanks to you. 

Finally, you had to succumb to your human limitations and come up for air, though strands of saliva kept your mouth connected to him. The lush, earthy scent of Ross’s soap filled your nose for a moment as you inhaled, but there was no time to enjoy it. You were back on his cock in no time, with even more air in your lungs and vigor in your heart.

Feeling himself inside your throat again, Ross’s thighs brushed against your cheeks and ears as they began jittering feverishly, shaking his chair left and right as his legs shook seemingly against his will. You pushed your head further into his crotch and wrapped your arms around his thighs so he wouldn’t shake you off, but as your hands touched his lower inner thighs, an unexpected, shuddering moan leapt out of Ross.

“Mr. Lynch, are you certain you’re alright?” A different man on the Zoom asked, “Your face looks rather… flushed.”

You paused for a moment, curious about his reaction to being touched there. As you pulled back from his dick, you couldn’t help but wonder…

“Fi-fi-fine! I’m good, I’m good.” Ross stammered out, recomposing himself in your moment of stillness, “Let’s just keep talking business, yeah? What were you saying before about, uh, Search Engine—Oh my god!”

Ross shouted as you licked down his shaft, simultaneously rubbing and squeezing his thick thighs. His legs jolted up involuntarily, but your grip held him down as you circled both of his balls in a figure eight with your tongue before running your tongue wildly over the area between his balls and hole.

Fitting for his large size, you had to wrangle Ross like a bull as you went in on his underside. He gulped and grunted as you licked and lapped the area’s sweat and saliva. Even though Ross had just showered, down there had already begun to smell and taste like man in the delicious way only Ross’s body seemed to be. Becoming just the slightest bit greedy, you pressed your tongue into him hard, licking up to the skin between his balls.

This time, your grip wasn’t enough to hold Ross down. Almost instantly, his legs shot straight out, kicking the desk legs and propelling his rolling chair back. Several pens and pencils clattered against the floor, followed by the bang with which the keyboard fell and the clinking of various keys buncing away away.

Now, Ross was in the center of the room, rock hard with his entire lower half exposed. His knees had hiked up and he’d rolled back a bit, giving you (and every executive) a full view of his glistening cock, big balls, and tight hole. You expected him to immediately reach to cover himself, but after he remained dazed from your tongue’s magic for more than a moment, you advanced on him with your proverbial trump card in hand.

Your hands and knees thumping against the ground amid the cacophony of confused and objectioning shouts from the executives, you gathered up as much saliva as you could in your mouth. Once in range, you stuck your pointer and index fingers into your mouth, twisting them around until they were dripping wet, and yanked them out only to shove them into Ross’s hole before he could even register you were there.

Ross’s whole body shook, and he let out a long, drawn out moan as you slightly curved the tips of your fingers. With no mercy, you again stuffed his cock into your throat, causing him to cry out.

“God—Fuck!” All decorum had left Ross’s body once you entered it, leaving his pleasure-seeking lizard brain as the sole pilot of his actions. He reached one of his arms down between his shaking legs to grip your hair, forcing your head back and forth on his cock at leisure. Each time you adjusted your fingers, his grip briefly tightened and a low grunt radiated from his body.

Finally, though you were elated to be fucking Ross again, you had to remind him who was boss. You pulled your two fingers out of him, redistributing the little saliva on them onto your ring and pinky fingers. Indelicately and haphazardly, you shoved all four fingers back into Ross’s now-loosened hole.

With an piercing, high-pitched whine, Ross’s back instantly curled into an arch, his feet slamming into the ground shortly after. For a moment, you thought you had given him too much to handle—that he was about to come to his senses and chew you out for what you were doing. 

Thankfully, Ross was too much of a slut for that

Once his planted feet gave him the leverage, Ross thrusted off of your finger and into your throat with vigor. The head of Ross’s cock slamming into the back of your throat still caused to gag and recoil a bit, but you were no amateur. You continued to let him face-fuck you as you finger-fucked him with intensity.

At first you tried to get back into the grove you had under the desk, but Ross’s movements while being fingered were far too erratic. He kept thrusting back and forth mindlessly, so his dick was never where you expected it to be in your mouth. Eventually, you tried pulling back to lick the underside of his cock, but it just ended up slapping you on the cheek in a way that was surprisingly arousing, even if it stung a little.

Seeing as conventional dick-sucking tactics weren’t working, you loosely grabbed his dick in your freehand, looking up at him as he continued frantically jerking his cock up into your hand and ass back down onto your fingers. His eyes were shut with his mouth slightly agape, allowing grunts and whines to slip out along with the occasional expletive. It took all your mental strength not to stand up and start pulling at his hair and shirt, both ruffled in a way that was sexually agitating beyond belief. 

You dug your fingers deeper into Ross’s hole until your knuckles were against his ass cheeks. Ross shook and whimpered, forgoing thrusting into your hand entirely and pressing his ass down on your fingers with all his might. Gently, you curled your fingers and adjusted the position of your hands, listening to his grunts and waiting for-

“Holy—uff—shit!” Ross’s back arched and his forearms bulged as your fingers grazed his prostate. 

Spurred on by this reaction, you continued pleasuring Ross with the fingers one hand and jerking him off with the other. His big reaction to the initial contact simmered down into rubbing his ass back and forth on your fingers, groaning and letting out quivering pleads for you to keep going.

His dick was stiff and throbbing, threatening to blow as precum drizzled down the sides and onto your hand. You slowed down the pace in an attempt to delay the inevitable, taking a full second to pull your grip from the base of his cock to the tip, and another one pulling it back down.

Try as you might’ve, though, Ross was too close to the edge to put off his orgasm much longer. After only a few strokes, Ross’s shouts reverberated off of the walls of his studio.

“I’m– Fuck! I’m g-gonna– Fu-u-ck!”

Taking this as the cue to show your final tr, you simultaneously let go of Ross’s cock, lifted yourself up to position your mouth over it, and abruptly shoved your fingers into him so hard your knuckles wound up in his hole.

Just as you’d hoped, Ross’s hips sprung forward from the sudden pain and pleasure, driving his dick most of the way down your open and ready throat. Once his hips had extended as far forward as they could, you reached forward and gripped the seat of the chair. Then, with all your might, you pulled it toward you and pushed your head down, again deepthroating him and forcing him back into his seat.

After a moment, a cacophony of dull slapping sounds and frantic moans erupted above you. You looked up to find Ross flailing his body around, as if he were going to explode if he didn’t externalize the ecstasy of being deep in your throat that very second. His torso twisted and jerked, his legs bounced up and down independently of one another, and his fists clenched and unclenched as they alternate between punching and slapping the arms of the chair. Not to mention his hips, trying desperately to thrust even a millimeter deeper in your mouth.

Of course, his reaction only served encourage you, and you wondered what else you could do to make him squirm before he came. Just as you were getting ready to stick your thumb in him too, Ross’s chair creaked loudly. Before you could realize the sound came from a sudden shifting of weight, your head was suddenly squeezed tight from all sides, pulled in further onto Ross’s cock (if that was even possible.)  You threw your hands up to your head, trying and figure out what was happening as you tried to suppress your panic and growing urge breathe, and the meaty smack that accompanied the thick, trunk-like objects your palms collided with clued you in immediately.

In his pleasure-driven frenzy, Ross had tilted his entire lower body upwards and wrapped both his legs around your head in a desperate attempt to bury his cock even deeper in your throat. He squeezed his legs in several times, grunting in exasperation as he failed to will himself more dick to put inside you. The sound of fist-meeting-chair filled your ears again, followed by him using his arms to push himself off the chair and up into you.

The poor, poor chair squeaked and buckled as all 170-pounds of Ross landed back onto it. Still, in spite of its cries, a carnally unsatisfied Ross pushed himself again. And again. And again. Until Ross’s greed finally caught up with him. He’d pushed himself too far this time, and instead of his plump, saliva-drenched ass cheeks landing safely on the chair, they brushed against its edge and sent it careening backwards as all 170-pounds of Ross plus your head went plummeting toward the ground.

You weren’t quite certain if the chair slamming into the wall came before or after Ross’s tailbone thudded against the ground, but you were certain that the sound following both of them, that of the sustained wail Ross let out, eclipsed them both in volume and length. It rebounded off of the walls in his office, seeming only to amplify in volume over time. He was putting so much into his shout, you swore you could feel his vocal chords vibrating in his legs.

For a moment it seemed like Ross was seriously hurt, but as his cry tapered off into a gasp and his thighs tensed against your jaw and cheeks, you realized his noise wasn’t that of pain, but of an imminent orgasm. This further proved to be the case when Ross’s cock, still lodged in your throat began to twitch, threating a milky explosion any second.

Ross’s voice filled the room again. A high, breathy whisper of your name that rapidly deepened into a guttural grunt. The firm, immobilizing grip of his thighs devolved into a trembling, pleading suggestion of where to keep your head. His stiff, trembling cock expanding into a force threatening to open your throat from the inside out. All as he toppled over the edge into his orgasm.

The first rope of cum hit the back of your throat like a bullet. What felt like a whole pint of semen dripped down your esophagus as Ross gasped and trembled above you. He tried squeezing his legs around your head again, but found himself unable to settle his trembling legs. Instead, he reached down and gripped your hair with both of his hands, ensuring you wouldn’t get off his cock until he was ready as his dick prepared to shoot off more rounds of cum.

Two… Three… Four… The subsequent shots came at a similar speed, together coating part of your throat with Ross’s thick semen. His cock was too far down your throat to taste the sweet, tanginess of his semen. Silently, you prayed that you might get a taste when Ross pulled out, though that seemed a long ways away.

Five… Six… Seven… The next few ropes of cum fell short of reaching the back of your throat, and instead fell straight down your esophagus. The sensation was not unlike swallowing water down the wrong pipe, except you had to suppress your urge to cough as to not waste any of your dwindling supply of air.

Eight… Nine… Ten… By now, Ross’s cum wasn’t “shooting” so much as dribbling off his cock and down your throat. Still, even as his balls were emptied and his moans gave way to slight whimpers and heavy breathing, Ross’s cock kept twitching like it was trying to shoot out more cum and his hand kept you firmly in place.

It wasn’t until a fully his cock was finally still that Ross let you go. Not a millisecond later, you pulled back and settled on all fours, gasping for breath and swallowing Ross’s cum down fully. Like you hoped for, hints of Ross’s cum grazed your tongue on the way up. You couldn’t help smiling a content, saliva-coated smile.

After taking a moment to recuperate, you shifted onto your knees and looked over Ross, taken fully out of commision. He was laid out on his back, his body unmoving and pinkened from exertion. His stare was blank and mouth ajar, drooling just a little. Were it not for the rise and fall of his chest as he took breath after labored breath, you’d fear you sucked the soul straight out of his body through his cock.

His cock. The not-so-little monster was still fully hardened and pointing skyward, as if it were begging for just a little more action from you even as the man it was attached to was worn out and developing gnarly bruise on his lower back. Your spit still coated it thoroughly, dripping both down his shaft and straight off his tip onto the floor. You almost got lost in watching it, but reminded yourself that you were here to teach Ross a lesson, not just give a killer blowjob.

You crawled over his body, leaning in close to his ear. He seemed not to notice you at first, but jolted into awarness when you started to whisper.

“From now on, I hope you’ll think twice before ditching me for some stupid interview,” You told him, preparing to stand up, “‘Cause when I get blown off, I always make sure to return the favor.” If Ross responded in any way, you didn’t stick around to hear it. He need time to think about his actions and how to do better in the future. And, frankly, you needed to get off somehow, and he certainly wasn’t in any condition to do it.

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If the desire for A Lot More Ross resonates with you, please feel free to stick around.

[tua-five]

Season 3 Episode 10

"Oblivion"

There's a couple references to all seasons here

The last episode of season 3. Tomorrow is the day.

Ben flicking the tail 😭

This is so sad. I'm not ready. I'm so scared. Just thinking that Luther and Klaus died... I mean, I know everything is fine at the end of the episode, but right now... they're like, dead dead.

It's crazy how Klaus doesn't like pineapple on pizza. Him out of all the siblings, should.

"Nah, it's like the old man said. Once is happenstance, twice is coincidence, and three times ain't gonna happen 'cause I'm not a gibbering idiot." Fair enough.

"Hey, buddy 🤗"

"You 👿"

Speaking of the bouncy house. When Klaus lands, he says, "This is someone's idea of heaven?"

There's a couple of things with that. First of all, yes. Second of all, the fact that it is, means it's most likely a kid. And it's really sad to think that a kid died. There's a whole birthday party behind them... so that just makes me curious.

Also, him saying this means that that is how it works. When you die, you go to a place that you imagine to be heaven.

Reginald does have a point. Ben says that he made it happen. Being in Hotel Oblivion. But seriously. He did nothing to contribute to that fact.

Love how Five came out of the room, and it changed to number 5.

Reginald is genuinely surprised when Klaus comes. Just thought I'd point it out.

"You're going to ruin everything!"

"Oh, if I had a nickel for every time I heard that, I'd have a dollar."

Well, you know. Maybe this time, it's better to ruin everything.

They're all like, which idiot sibling rang the bell, when really it was the idiotic manipulative Sir Reginald Hargreeves.

Diego panicking and asking what floor is so real, though.

"Revenge looks good on her."

"Would you shut up and help us kill this thing?"

And then Ben just sits there. Watching.

And again, Five with the axe 😭

Love that for him.

Oh, yay. Ben finally contributing. I think part of it is because part of him is still umbrella Ben. And scared of his powers.

That or he's just a wimp.

And I love the Lila-Viktor duo. "This feels oddly familiar."

"At least this time we're not aiming at each other."

Very true. Now kill it.

Great. Now Five has lost his arm.

And Luther... 🥺😢

And the life being sucked out of them... (for some of them again if we go back to season 1).

The most impressive thing about reginald isn't that he is an alien. It's that his monocle stayed on when he fell over and died.

Ray being here, in this timeline, isn't right. He said it himself in season 2. He didn't want to come with to 2019. He had to stay for the movement. And now he's here. That's got to mess things up. The huterrfly effect. I don't care if it's a whole new timeline and it's reset. It isn't supposed to be like this.

"Obsidian Memorial Park. Graciously donated by Sir Reginald Hargreeves this 1st day of October 1989."

That date seems to always pop up. We all connect it to the Hargreeves's birthday. But it was never about them, was it? No. It's always been about Reginald. And Abigail. I'd say it's the day she died, but that isn't true. Reginald came to Dalas after she died way before 1989. So something else happened.

"Well, what are we supposed to do?"

"Live our lives." Yeah. And that's what you do. For six years, five months, and two days. Because you guys will never get peace.

What I don't like is Five looks so distraught. Confused. Yet there are no words when he looks at Viktor. Then turns and leaves.

And they all live their lives separately. Trying to figure out how to be normal again. For some, just trying to figure out how to be normal, how to live, for the first time. While Allison and Reginald get the life they wanted.

And Ben goes away on train. After being rude and grouchy, he smiles.

Here's a few gifs, but I'll actually create separate posts of just todays gifs.

[mayhemchicken-varneyposting]

Varney the Vampire, Chapter 14: I Do Not Drink...Wine

[Previous chapter] [Next chapter]

A servant enters, bringing a tray of refreshments, but Henry is in no mood for snacking and Varney is...ahem...on a strict diet. Henry notices a scar on Varney's forehead, and remembers that the man in the portrait has the exact same scar. By this point Henry has had enough, and rises to leave. Varney asks him for an answer about the selling of Bannerworth Hall, and Henry replies that Varney can have it if he promises to never show his face to anyone in the family again. Varney is disappointed by this answer, as he was hoping to get to know Henry's sister, and Henry all but calls Varney a monster to his face.

Henry and Marchdale finally leave. Henry is so agitated that he wants to either kill Varney or die. Marchdale urges him to cool it on the thoughts of murder, reminding him that his sister, whom Henry had forgor, is also in danger of becoming a vampire, and only has Henry for support. Henry points out that she also has Charles; Marchdale scoffs at this, predicting that Charles will desert Flora due to her having been tainted by the vampire. Henry is offended on Charles' behalf but stops short of becoming angry with Marchdale.

The two of them briefly discuss methods of killing a vampire, but soon set such plans aside, focusing instead on the task at hand of lying to the rest of the family to spare them the awful news.

For a story with almost no cultural staying power outside of the Victorian era, Varney sure did grandfather a lot of vampire tropes.

"You take nothing yourself?" said Henry.

"I am under a strict regimen," replied Varney. "The simplest diet alone does for me, and I have accustomed myself to long abstinence."

"He will not eat or drink," muttered Henry, abstractedly.

The narrative goes out of its way to single out wine as one of the provided refreshments, by the way.

Speaking of weird Dracula coincidences, if I had a nickel for every time a literary vampire had a distinctive forehead scar that was used to identify him, I'd have two nickels, which isn't a lot but it's weird that it happened twice.

Varney continues to wind Henry up on purpose, this time with some creep remarks about his sister. I must assume the implication here is he wants to court her, presumably after the fashion of Lord Ruthven.

"How very unkind. I understand you have a charming sister, young, beautiful, and accomplished. Shall I confess, now, that I had hopes of making myself agreeable to her?"

"You make yourself agreeable to her? The sight of you would blast her for ever, and drive her to madness."

"Am I so hideous?"

"No, but—you are—"

"What am I?"

You can almost see him struggling to hold back a grin. Poor Henry is making this so easy for him.

By the time they leave, Henry is spiraling. The visit with Varney, having confirmed all his worst fears, has nearly broken him.

"He is a vampyre. There are such things. I cannot doubt now. Oh, God, I wish now that your lightnings would blast me, as here I stand, for over into annihilation, for I am going mad to be compelled to feel that such horrors can really have existence."

"Henry—Henry."

"Nay, talk not to me. What can I do? Shall I kill him? Is it not a sacred duty to destroy such a thing?"

Henry, as I said last chapter, doesn't really have the Jonathan Harker murderous determination in him, but he's certainly trying to work it up here. Marchdale, however, talks him down.

"I must destroy him."

"And wherefore?"

"Can you ask? Is he not a vampyre?"

"Yes; but reflect, Henry, for a moment upon the length to which you might carry out so dangerous an argument. It is said that vampyres are made by vampyres sucking the blood of those who, but for that circumstance, would have died and gone to decay in the tomb along with ordinary mortals; but that being so attacked during life by a vampyre, they themselves, after death, become such."

"Well—well, what is that to me?"

"Have you forgotten Flora?"

A cry of despair came from poor Henry's lips, and in a moment he seemed completely, mentally and physically, prostrated.

"God of Heaven!" he moaned, "I had forgotten her!"

"I thought you had."

Also on display here is Henry's almost comical lack of object permanence. You forgot her? Your entire sister? Henry.

Once again, Dracula presents a fascinating contrast. In Dracula, the threat of Mina turning is presented as a motivator to the characters to kill Dracula; here, the same threat to Flora serves the opposite. Van Helsing is adamant that killing the vampirized Lucy is an act of mercy; Marchdale here seems to imply the reverse is true.

From here, the conversation takes an odd turn.

"My dear friend, Henry Bannerworth, although I am not an old man, yet I am so much older than you that I have seen a great deal of the world, and am, perhaps, far better able to come to accurate judgments with regard to individuals."

"No doubt—no doubt; but yet—"

"Nay, hear me out. Such judgments, founded upon experience, when uttered have all the character of prophecy about them. I, therefore, now prophecy to you that Charles Holland will yet be so stung with horror at the circumstance of a vampyre visiting Flora, that he will never make her his wife."

This after Charles has already sworn, multiple times, that he will not leave Flora's side no matter what horrors she faces. Marchdale really seems to have it out for Charles.

"It has often been my misfortune through life," said Mr. Marchdale, sadly, "to give the greatest offence where I feel the truest friendship, because it is in such quarters that I am always tempted to speak too freely."

"Nay, no offence," said Henry. "I am distracted, and scarcely know what I say. Marchdale, I know you are my sincere friend—but, as I tell you, I am nearly mad."

It continues to sadden me how easily Henry falls for Marchdale's passive-aggressive behavior. He's being so manipulative, Henry! Don't listen to him!

After this, Marchdale counsels that Henry not tell the rest of the family his conviction that Varney is the vampire. Once again, lying to your loved ones is painted as Good Actually.

Henry resolves to kill Varney if he ever shows his face around them, and he and Marchdale bring up staking and fire as two methods of killing a vampire. Contrary to modern pop culture, where a wooden stake is a sort of vampire-killing magic bullet, the rationale for a stake killing a vampire is that it pins them to the earth, preventing them from rising - an explanation which, as I understand it, is much closer to original vampire folklore.

Next: A couple of new characters are introduced

[td-rarepairs]

List anon is back, and I am gonna now give a part 2 to that list explaination I gave a few weeks ago, and this time with way less Ezekiel:

Scott x Harold:

If I had a nickel for every farm boy I shipped with Harold, I'd have two nickels. Which isn't a lot but it's weird that it happened twice.

Ella x Sammy:

The ship's name is the best thing in the world to me, and it's the 'bullied by the worst character' duo! Yes, I'm also giving a take here too, I won't mind getting sued.

Scott x Manitoba Smith:

It's growing on me, and I love it already. Also that all-stars scene before the infamous scene of Mal appearing definitely gave Scott some kind of awakening that he denied.

Ezekiel x Cody:

Yet another ship where I hate one of the characters in the ship, but I still love it, and now I ship Ezekiel with all the drama brother members. What happened to get me here?

Ezekiel x Lightning:

In Total Roblox Drama, I was Zeeke (Ezekiel), and I got called "Thunders (Lightnings) Toy Boy." I couldn't stop laughing at that for a while. But then I thought about it, for a bit, and now I ship something that no one else ships... NOT YET AT LEAST-

Gwen x Bridgette:

I just like this one, and I can't really remember why.

Chase x Zee/Chase x Ripper/Ripper x Zee:

Character I like x The two worst characters of the reboot, also, the first time I put multiple ships in one category!

Wayne x Caleb:

One of the same reasons I love Damiwayne: Wayne thinking he's just an ally, and then boom, the Bi thoughts arrive.

Ezekiel x Topher (Clone High):

First crossover ship! Also yes, it's because they're both of the worst characters, but in a positive way.

Topher (Total Drama Pahkitew Island) x Shawn:

I found art of it that I love on a tiktok account that I love, so now we have this in this list.

Izzy x Sierra:

IB4IB (Insane Bitch for Insane Bitch).

Alejandro x Cody:

Surprisingly, this is (to me at least) both Alejandro and Cody's Bi awakening.

Tyler x Harold:

Nerd who's a little good at sports x Jock who sucks at sports.

Sierra x Heather:

"Boyfriends are temporary, but girlfriends are forever" - Heather.

And once I can think of anymore, I'll share them! Thank you for listening to my list of these all. - List Anon

.

[artastic-friend]

🎧DJ Friends😎🎵✨

If I had a nickel for every time I've been a fan of a mute DJ character who I also headcannon to be gay, I'd have 2 nickles. Which.. isn't a lot, but it's weird that it happened twice.

They are so slay, you just gotta love them!

Anyway, some unrelated doodles.

These two were inspired by a conversation with NTLS about an AU he made with a friend where DJ and Spamton worked at McDonald's together💀

Also Rudy!!!💖 And Dr. Habit puppet

I'm gonna try to post another drawing soon, one that's actually colored, but man I have been suffering with art burnout/block for a while guys 😭😭- I thought that after school ended it would go away, but it didn't..😔

I have been trying to do artfight again this year but I haven't even done a single attack yet bc of this- it really sucks... OTZ

[alegacyofmonsters]

Legacies 1x04 Rewatch:

Just seeing all the comic book decor in MG's room makes me so sad that we never got to see him and Landon geek out together

The amount of (lame) TVD cameos in S1 was wild considering they did not keep that energy up

If I had a nickel for every time the Salvatore School made a fake exchange program with Mystic Falls High over a murder, I'd have two nickels which isn't a lot but it's weird that it's happened twice

"Who are you and what did you do with Hope Mikaelson?" Just you wait ...

The blatant use of TVD scenes for the exterior shots of MFHS and they couldn't even match the green filter of Legacies

Lizdon best friendism!!!

"Try not to deliberately alienate the entire student body." "I tried to be her friend when I was five and when I was nine and when I was thirteen." "I'm sorry we couldn't see why you were hurting back then." SCREAMING.

"Would you like to be the Robin to my Batwoman?" "Batwoman doesn't have a Robin." "Metaphor." FOR LESBIANISM.

"I'm working on offensive spells." Maybe we should've known she was blood thirsty from the start

Rosie and Finsie both have a breakfast scene BUT NOT JANDON OR POSIE. WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS?

No because how did Josie have Raf so wrapped around her finger and still manage to come up with a fake sob story about Lizzie winning him

Baby Handon, my beloveds

Hope 🤝 Lizzie 🤝 Accusing MG of failing at compulsion

Lizzie being so grossed out by MG's unrelenting advances and him STILL not getting the message. Oh I hate what this rewatch is doing to my best boy.

"Dana is dead." Oh no ... what are we gonna do ...

"I expect you to be with Hope when I do" hits so much harder knowing about 4x06

"You are a horrible liar." "I suck at lying." Okay Lizzie I see you

We were robbed of Cheerleader!Hope, even in an AU

I still need someone to edit "They're a gift from Cheryl" into a Hope Mikaelson x Cheryl Blossom edit

"Relax, Eeyore." Hope, your Lizzie is popping out.

"I don't even like any of you" but we all know who she's best friends with in the Human AU

Jed truly was terrible in the beginning. Like who is that? I don't know him. Bully!Jed isn't real unless you believe in him.

"I'm a feminist." You're a liar is what you are actually.

I really do miss S3 actual feminist MG. Bring him back to me already.

The casual Dana E.D. jokes were ... certainly a choice for a 2019 show ...

The Kaleb x Landon dynamic deserved more

"Years of practice with Lizzie" and we never once get to see it. Like??

"You're dead if you don't submit." I'm sorry but like has a werewolf student ever actually been murdered for not joining the pack? I feel like we would've heard about that.

"It's Sasha." Was Sasha even at the flag football game? How do they know her?

BASES IT OFF OF GREEK LORE. OH THE GREEK GODS SET UP WAS THERE. IT WAS THERE.

"My money's on your boyfriend." "He's not my boyfriend." She just wanted to hear you say it, sweetie.

"Whatever spun this is gonna come back and eat us." We couldn't be that lucky. Imagine how much better the series would have been.

I still ship Connor x Josie. I don't care.

Landon rushing in to save Josie. Oh Jandon serves whether you want to admit it or not.

The S1 Core 6 did not get enough scenes together

THE MOMENT IT ALL CHANGED FOR LIZZIE. OH GOD OH GOD. HOLD ON TIGHT.

THINGS ARE SHIFTING.

"I'm a twin. I don't do anything solo." You just spent the entire episode without Lizzie because being a hero is too much pressure??? You spent the whole last episode apart from her too???? It's only the fourth episode?????

It's almost laughable how much Josie lies. Like every other word out of her mouth is straight up false and she knows it.

Still think Jed x Rafael should have had a thing.

I miss this Handon angst. THIS. THIS IS THE GOOD STUFF. Not the circular conflict they got stuck in later.

"Being a hero is not more important than being safe." This is your suicidal daughter, my dude. She does not care about being safe.

"She thinks she's too good to give you the time of day." Actually it's

"Don't disrespect her like that. We got enough monsters out here as it is. We cannot become one of them." MG YOU DIDN'T DIE THE HERO. YOU LIVED LONG ENOUGH TO BECOME THE VILLAIN. GOD DAMN IT.

Wait a minute. Josie was stuck in a spider web, almost dying, and Landon saved the day instead of Penelope Park making an appearance? Penelope would have never.

"If you threaten my kids, Sheriff, I'll be the one coming for you." No, maybe I get it. Maybe I do still get the attraction.

[diagonal-queen]

thungo thursday: how the hell did we get here so fast

'dad never even came to pick me up' SAME AYA LMAOO

they really did make the right choice for bram's va. i don't remember his name but all i know is that he's a seasoned anime va, but it like REALLY fits him fr

i'll never get over how much i love this intro you guys like it's so chaotic and colourful and dark and granrodeo is so good and this song especially is so epic and kishow supremacy

OH MY GOD watching chuuya struggle to breathe is like stressing me out so much that i need to pause and take deep breaths of my own lmao

AYO WHY DOES DAZAI LOOK LIKE A CRYPTID LMAOOOO

also i'm so jealous of him being able to cup sigma's cheek while I cannot

dazai and sigma are so weird to me as a ship because most of the ships i like are '[character that is just like me] + [character who i would have a crush on if i knew them]' but i kin both dazai and sigma so it's like watching the two opposite sides of me frolick around and it's so chaotic

sigma, literally drowning: 😰😰😰😰😰 dazai, also drowning: •-•

if i had a nickel for every time dazai stood on sigma's back/shoulders while they were breaking out of prison i'd have two nickels. which isn't a lot but it's weird that it happened twice

(yes i know i use that meme format a lot NO I WON'T STOP)

WET CAT SIGMA (and no i didn't replay the sounds of him gasping for air, why on earth would you think that)

we have both now <3333333333 thumbs up dazai best dazai

imagine someone asks atsushi how he knew to do things or how he had the mind to move forward and he replies 'the voices' but like he's deadly serious and it actually was the voices

wait dazai literally did that to sigma in prison didn't he shfkjhdhgjkhsk

wait so in the manga sigma can read russian, but in the anime he can't? is bones actively bimbo-ifying characters??? how are we letting this slide

akutagawa doing some goku type shit is the funniest thing ever bro actually said 'SHIAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH'

bones you don't need to remind us all about how much you fucked up akutagawa's death scene ok. his dub va literally predicted that his death would be done poorly and he was RIGHT ABOUT IT

(who would win. gonta and monokuma vs dazai and akutagawa)

if dazai's got a broken leg and losing blood very quickly then why is he grunting and moaning like that huh what's that all about

YEAH GET FUCKED FYODOR LMAOOOOOOOOOOOO

fyodor: because of dazai you realised something about yourself sigma...[describes me, dia, in disturbingly accurate detail]

i'm sorry but the gay agenda has warped me into viewing a man putting a gun to the head of a man on his knees not as a serious and threatening crime but as foreplay. this is what the gays are doing to today's youth. way cup america

brams life must suck. imagine life exactly the same except you can't frolick in the sun, smell roses, wear silver jewellery, finger gun yourself in the mirror or eat garlic bread. also the 'lacking a body and personal autonomy' thing but who needs those amirite

OH MY GOD THE GIRL **WAS** BRAM'S DAUGHTER!!!!! IT WAS HIS KID THE WHOLE TIME!!!!! YOU GUYS OH MY GOD/??????!!??!!???!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i don't even feel bad for laughing when fyodor started having his mental breakdown like bro what is that face. is this what nikolai sees every night??? man no wonder he went insane

tfw they fisheye atsushi from afar while he's being stabbed in his vitals

i hope they have a stash of strepsils for atsushi's va in the recording studio

BRO WHY IS FYODOR MOANING TF

yknow that episode when teruko aged tachihara down to a child and he looked rounder and stuff? thats fyodor right now

no but actually imagine being pulled so hard that your leg and arm come off OUCHIES what is it with people and taking atsushi's body parts and like stroking them or whatever. if it were me, the only body part of atsushi's i'd be stroking is his di

fyodor you're a great character but i can't help but notice that you just stabbed my husband and then kicked him in the face. unfortunately you have no choice but for me to ruthlessly kill you dead

so much is happening rn i feel bad for the anime onlys who have to process all this shit within one episode whereas we got several chapters to soak it into our skull sponges

yeah, me too sigma. me too

LMAO DAZAI CALLED CHUUYA A BITCH????? THEY LITERALLY BICKER EVERY TIME THEY INTERACT WHY IS THIS PARTICULAR THING SO FUNNY TO ME

maybe its just cus like 'bitch' is a funny word especially. they can call each other 'ass' and 'bastard' and 'dick' all they want but nothing tops a good 'bitch!!'

hold on bones no. NO. you can't do that. dazai was shot once in the head by chuuya, then he smiles and laments before the scene ends and it's left ambiguous if he dies or not. YOU CAN'T JUST HAVE CHUUYA USING HIS CORPSE AS TARGET PRACTICE

asagiri: i wonder how i should design one order flowey from undertale: asagiri: amazing. brilliant. this will be perfect

well, fuck. im terrified for next week!!

[ofpineapplesanddawns]

What if Peter introduced Lucian to the human luxury that is stickers

(Any AU!)

If I had a nickel for every time I did a thing with Peter and stickers, I'd have two nickels. That's not a lot, but it's amazing that it's happened twice, haha.

This is for the urban explorer au, even if nothing is mentioned for it. I just thought it was the most fitting au since Peter spends a lot of time around technology in it.

On with the fic!

--

"What on Earth are you doing now, Peter?"

Peter looked up from where he was struggling with peeling the back off of a new sticker he had ordered for his laptop, one he seemed to have ordered while drunk or something. "Sticker." He said simply.

"I'm sorry?"

"It's a sticker, Lucian." Peter held it up, wiggling the sticker around a bit before holding it out to Lucian. "I'm gonna put it on my laptop with some of the other cool ones I've got."

Lucian took it, looking it over. "It's a wolf."

"Yep."

"A wolf hollowing at a full moon. And it's... reflective."

"Yep. Which makes it awesome, gimme." Lucian handed it over and Peter went back to struggling with removing the back. "Got a couple of other awesome ones on my laptop, you can look at 'em if you want."

He looked out of the corner of his eye as Lucian turned Peter's laptop around to look at the back of it. It was covered in more stickers, some from his show, one from a club he liked going to that gave him good discounts since he sponsored them. There were some monster ones on there, mostly old school looking ones, like from old movie posters. And some fruit stickers, but he stuck those to every surface he was close to.

"I don't understand." Lucian frowned. "What is the point, is it to mark it as yours?"

"Kinda, mostly it's because they're awesome. What, do lycans not do that? Above that shit?"

The other man scoffed. "No, not really, I just... I mean, I've seen them, just didn't know what they really were for. Usually just see them slapped on walls and lamp posts, we had no need for these."

Peter paused. "Ah. Yeah, I mean... yeah, makes sense. Can you help me with these? My nails suck balls, can't seem to peel the back off."

Lucian took the sticker back, removed the backing, and tried to hold it out, frowning as he saw that it was sticking to his finger. Peter snorted, taking it back, then slapped it on the back of his laptop, covering over some of the other stickers on there, but that's alright. "There we go!"

"I still don't understand what the appeal is for."

"It just makes it cool and more personalized."

"I thought your background being a picture of yourself made your laptop more personal."

"I mean, it kinda- oh, shut the fuck, Lucian."

--

The wolf sticker is real, it's on the laptop I'm typing on right now, next to a cool sticker I have of Bigfoot. It is very reflective and makes rainbows appear when the sun hits it right.

The fruit sticker thing is what my sister does, and it drives me crazy.

[iwritenarrativesandstuff]

Since you were talking about games, I know you're also a Dai Gyakuten Saiban/Great Ace Attorney fan (so am I! I followed you originally because you're into both it and BSD hehe), and I'm curious to know your thoughts on it! 💖 Who are your favorite characters/relationships/cases/parts? (My fave character is Benedict/Graydon. Yes I have a tendency to become obsessed with minor characters no one else cares about, oops) Did you play it with the Chronicles version (I assume so, like most people did) or are you an og who followed along with the fan translation like I did? One of the best/funniest parts of getting into that duology was coming across Souseki and being like "if I had a nickel for every time I've encountered a piece of media that had an anime version of real-life author Natsume Souseki, I'd have two nickels. Which isn't a lot but it's weird that it happened twice" lmao 😭

Since they're two of my favorite media, sometimes I try to imagine how a BSD/DGS crossover would work, and which characters would get along, though granted the only things they really have in common are detective work/mysteries, an old-fashioned aesthetic, and some similar themes lol... I just really love both of them a lot 🥹💖 Ryuunosuke and Atsushi being the exasperated straight men to the genius comedy duo that is Sholmes and Dazai? lmao (also Iris and Kyouka and their bunnies 🥹)

I need to play Hatoful Boyfriend. I've played lots of visual novels but that one is still on my to-play list (I don't know how seriously I'll be able to take it with bird sprites instead of actual human facial expressions, even though I fully trust that it is as good as its reputation says it is, but I'll just have to see for myself lmao)

Hsjfdnvskdf ok so I don't know what keeps happening to me with TGAA because I love it so much but I can't seem to write proper meta on it so. I just keep reiterating how much I like it lol. I got into it a bit later - I knew it existed almost since it came out in Japan but since I hadn't played original Ace Attorney, I avoided it for a long time. Then I saw a playthrough of the fan translation Case 1 and was hooked. By that point, I knew there was going to be a full English release so I waited for that because I wanted so badly to play it through! It's such a good game.

Oh, Graydon was interesting. That case was really fun, if it weren't for the fact that I figured out the key evidence really early and I kept trying to present it too soon aojsbsidhb. Graydon as a character was great because he's exactly as he appears but then there's just that bit more that fleshes him out and made him the slightest bit more sympathetic while not detracting from his actions. He was cool. (I actually had an idea for an after trial fic with him and the Skulkins but I don't think I'll ever get around to writing it :/)

Oh yeah I flipped out when I saw Natsume - my whole brain stopped (this was before my BSD obsession btw so this was very strange to me lol) and I shrieked out "NATSUME SOSEKI???" and my mom from the other room was just "???". yeah. And then he showed up again in BSD and I just said "...hi Natsume".

My favourites are the Mikotobas! Both Susato and Yuujin! They're such sweet people aghhhhh they deserve the world. But I really love all the main cast tbh. Ryuunosuke is such a dork but there's real personality to him, Sholmes is the perfect adaptation of that character, Gina should get all the puppies and friends she wants, and though I have some mixed feelings on him, I hope van Zieks gets a fucking break at some point (or just keep friendly tormenting him. I think it's good for him actually. unlearn your prejudices and relearn how to smile, you edgy vampire man.). Kazuma's arc was excellent and I wish so badly we could've gotten a true reunion scene with less of the baggage... actually, thinking about Kazuma for too long makes me ill. You essentially watch him break in the middle of court and it sucks. It sucks man.

And Iris was a standout character to me because her archetype could've so easily been bland or annoying but instead she's a realistic kid who happens to be a genius and she's kind and gets sad and angry and has depth and I would give her a big hug.

In terms of case specific characters, I liked Haori/Rei a lot, just because her dynamic with Susato was so silly and she's a cool gifted forensics student! She's awesome! I want to see her again!

However, my favourite was Olive. OLIVE. I adore her and I adore the twist with her. God she's so passive aggressive. Like damn. Have I mentioned that I adore her character? If Olive has only 1 fan then I am that fan. I wished we had gotten to consult with her again, even though that wouldn't have made much sense... just because she was interesting to me and I would've liked to have seen her character more fleshed out.

I'd really love to see a lot of these characters again. I've seen some people talking about Kazuma Asougi Investigations but tbh I'd really like to see Susato Mikotoba Investigations with Haori and Yuujin helping out! It'd be neat to see more Meiji Japan and Susato continue to grow as a character in her own right, since she started that journey in Chronicles. Oh well. I know that's a pipe dream but still.

Omg omg so Iris and Kyouka was such a sweet mental image that I had to doodle it!

I bet Kyouka would really find Iris's inventions fascinating and love to listen to how they work and stuff! I think they'd get along tbh. The idea of Sholmes and Dazai ever interacting terrifies me. Keep them away from each other. Please.

As for Hatoful, I am biased but I'd say it is well worth a playthrough. Given you like both DGS and BSD, I'd say you'll probably like it. My mom (who has also played it) and I were chatting about it recently and thinking that weirdly enough, BSD gives us a lot of the same vibes... like it's nowhere near identical, but that kind of desperate darkness where the characters are not who they appear to be at first and everyone has a different motive for doing what they do, but it's also not taking itself too seriously and it's still kinda silly... yeah. Same feel. It's better to go in with no expectations but I'm thinking of making a post later about why people should play that game... it's still one of my favourites of all time.

About the stock bird images: I know it's weird. I know it's weird that they're birds. But the best part of this game - to me, anyways - is that for as much as it is a gag, the story leans into it so heavily that you will quickly realize the main plot only makes logical sense if the main cast are birds and the player the only human. Like, it literally would not make sense otherwise. Please play it. It's wacky, it's zany, the characters have a good amount of depth, it's mildly traumatizing, it's one of the best things I've played and I feel it's become an inscrutable part of my identity. I am still obsessed with it many years later. That almost never happens to me. It's that good.

Agh this was long. I hope it wasn't overwhelming haha. Actually I'm curious: did you like Olive too? And/or what do you like about Graydon? :D

(Also if you ever decide to start Hatoful, please let me know your thoughts!!!)

[renapomissing]

Comic Sonic Super Study 9

Here we have the Princess Sally miniseries.

One of the first things to happen in this series is that Sally throws a homemade grenade, so there go those explosives I was wondering about in the previous Super Study. I guess we're just not going to explain that. If it's homemade grenade, I'm wondering if they're just manufacturing bombs from start to finish in Knothole, or if they have to import anything. Probably the first option.

Speaking of Knothole, I understand this is a bit of a tangent (it's an extreme tangent), but they mention the entrance being a stump. Is that the only entrance? Does this make Knothole a subterranean kingdom? Have I already asked this before? I'm not gonna go back and check. Get ready for a lot of that, because we got a lot of comics to get through, and I only have so much memory.

It really is too bad that I'm coming in reading this book with the benefit of hindsight, because I already know for a fact I've never heard of any of these trainee Freedom Fighters that Sally is training, so it's very clear nothing comes of this. Huh. This kinda stuff's why I don't read X-Men, come to think of it.

Orb-bots? Y'all got Cube-bots, too?

Oh, bro, that's not... that's not normal.

It kinda sucks that I already know the gist of the twist behind Geoffry. Woulda been nice to experience it the right way, but then again, I probably should have read it a while ago.

Princess Sally #2

Friggin' slick.

... Yeah, I'm not touchin' that one.

She... maced... the robot...? How does that work? Frankly, I have some thoughts on the subject of subduing he robots with a slingshot, but I was willing to suspend my disbelief, until... until that.

In the story where Sonic had supposedly died, I wasn't too pleased with the idea that Sonic is viewed as the lynchpin to the Freedom Fighters, so on one hand, I'm glad that Robotnik is placing such importance on Sally that he feels roboticizing her (in conjunction with whatever he intends for his robot duplicate) will be enough to cause the rebellion to fall. On the other hand, this is yet another instance of these guys not being in contact with one another, because these are very different interpretations of Robotnik, supposedly occupying the same space as the same character. Regardless, the book is coming together pretty solid, so let's see if they stick the landing.

Princess Sally 3

A robot Sonic? A Metal Sonic, if you will.

OOOHHHHHHH, ROBOTNIK GOT PLAYED!

Huh. This is a novelty. I never see people physically assault Robotnik/Eggman. Come to think of it, if she lifted that kick up higher, and she stabilized herself on a flat foot (which I'm not sure why she didn't, unless the kick knocked her off-balance), that would have been a text-book Sweet Chin Music. Yeah, I know it's just a superkick, but bro. Sweet Chin Music.

This is the first time I'm seeing these medals, and I'm getting a strong feeling it's going to be the last.

Anyway, Geoffrey kisses Sally at the end, without any build-up in the slightest, and she seems to be into it, and I felt that was unearned on the book's part. I feel it could have been executed a lot better. Though, I also just think that maneuvering the heads of Sonic characters in position to kiss is just hard, and I don't think it'll ever yield a result that satisfies me.

Regardless, If I had a nickel for every plot I've seen that revolved around a duplicate Sally sent by Robotnik, while he planned to roboticize the real one, and ended up accidentally running the roboticization program on the robot duplicate, which was placed without his knowledge, I'd have two nickels, which isn't a lot, but it's weird that it happened twice. Come to think of it, we even have the part where the duplicate makes it to the other Freedom Fighters, and one of them is suspicious of her, and she goes on an operation. Did Kanterovich and Penders just refit the second episode of SatAM to fit their book?

Lastly, robot Sally rode a hang glider. This means that Robot Sally has to weigh somewhere around the same as regular Sally, because she didn't sink it.

I'd say I liked the series fine. If it weren't a miniseries, maybe it would have had more time to really get me into it, but as it stands, while I appreciate that it happened, it's not that I'm clamoring for more.

[wisteryuu]

If I had a nickel for every time an ex broke up with me after roughly four years and then was dating someone else within months, I'd have two nickels. Which really fucking sucks and is weird that it's happened twice.

[primeministerofantarctica]

idk if i should classify this as funny or sad but if i had a nickel for every time there was a disney showrunner who made two really great cartoons set in the same universe and now they're making a third cartoon except it sucks i'd have two nickels. something something weird that it happened twice.

[sc-intothedarknightofthesoul]

They changed so much since I've last played this game, but here they are (they're not 1-to-1 the same and have noticeable changes):

Kasta (Jedi Knight):

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Ezra (Imperial Agent):

Who knew that a long time ago, I played SWTOR nonstop.

Then I picked up Soul Calibur 6, both for the character customization to create my SWTOR OCs and the fact that I wanted to revisit my childhood game series, only to get sucked into it like "Wait a minute, the story modes they got this time around are actually really good!"

Also, if I had a nickel for every time I get too absorbed into a game that involves your created character making decisions along their journey (big or small) that ultimately deems you good or evil (SWTOR's Light and Dark Side to Soul Calibur's...well...Soul Calibur and Soul Edge), I'd have two nickels, which isn't really a lot, but it's kinda funny that it happened twice.

Gonna go back to my roots and make my Soul Calibur OCs in Star Wars The Old Republic for funsies.

[starlight-phantom]

No problem! 🫡

Yeah, honestly I think the main reason I don't have that much of a problem with the camera is because a large majority of games I played growing up had janky cameras so I've just kinda grown immune to them.

Okie dokie! The level it's in is Aquatic Mine. The item lets you swim underwater without needing to ever go up for air which trust me, in the final level, will be extremely helpful. To get it you're gonna have to brave and just go for it. You'll need to set the water level to 3 and when you see a kinda box thing with 'CAUTION' and pictures of ghosts on it, you're gonna need to dive down there and go through some small rooms. Literally just go straight and you'll get there. But be quick because it's underwater; getting back to the main area will be fine because now you have no air limit.

Yeah, I can understand why they're divisive but I think they add a nice change of pace to the game. Like, hey, that was a pretty intense level, let's chill out in this spooky halloween mountain now. And yeah, Knuckles is a great character when he's written well! That's why I hated that the 2010s wrote him as 'dumb muscle guy' because no??? That ain't him??? He's gullible, yes, but that's because he grew up alone on a floating island. He's smart, he just needs to become a better judge of character.

And yeah! The VAs of this era are great! I don't talk about them a lot because the sound mixing of their games is bad so nine times outta ten I can't hear them, but when I can hear them, they're great! Especially Shadow and Rouge! Also, lil fun fact: in Adventure 2 and Heroes, Rouge was voiced by Lani Minella who also voiced Maya Amano in the PS1 release of Persona 2 Eternal Punishment. If I had a nickel for every time Lani Minella voiced a character who's outfit featured love hearts on their chest, I'd have two nickels, which isn't a lot but it's weird that happened twice.

Yeah, I always grind lives in games from this era. I'd much rather start from a checkpoint just before I got stuck than get sent back to the menu, go back to story mode and then have to start the whole level over again. Ngl, I am glad getting sent back to the main menu isn't really a thing games do anymore 'cause that shit sucked.

The chao garden is so cute and chill and I love it so much. If you love petting, I think you'll happy to learn that if you pick a chao and then hold the stick to the side, you can gently rock them in your arms. Another lil fun fact: the series' current sound director, Tomoya Ohtani, y'know the guy who does all the cool orchestral rock anthems, yeah the first song he composed for the series was the chao race music. He also composed Knuckles' stage themes.

Oh no! I had a similar thing happen to me where I was trying to move an egg and whole I was jumping, I accidentally pressed the action button, which when you're in the air, the action is throw. So I accidentally threw the egg into a wall and that made the chao hatch and I felt so guilty... Oh, also! If you take a chao to the kindergarten and go into the fortune teller's room, you can name them. But what you have to do to name them yourself is let the fortune teller suggest a name, say no and then when she asks if you'd like to hear a different name, say no again and then she'll ask if you want to name them yourself. But ngl, some of her suggestions are funny as hell.

The animals can change your Chao's stats and give them some attributes of that animal. For example, if you give a chao a cheetah, they'll gain ears and a tail and they'll learn to wash their face like a lil kitty. All the animals have different things they give to the chao so just find the ones you think are cute! 🥰

Also, the battery things are called chaos drives and they boost your chaos stats depending on the colour:

Yellow - Swim

Green - Run

Purple - Fly

Red - Power

It makes it a lot easier when you're trying to level up certain stats. My sister and I tend to play Prison Lane when we're gathering stuff for chao because it's easy and you get a lot of chaos drives.

And again, no problem! Just give me a minute to get a link to that website, I'm on mobile and it's difficult to do two things at once on this thing. I'll edit it in once I get it.

EDIT: I found it, the site's called Chao Island. Just make sure you check the stuff for SA2B since that's pretty much always the version that's ported to modern consoles.

Just wanted to thank you again for the Sonic Adventure 2 recommendation, I started playing again and I'm having so much fun!

I just started the second Knuckles stage and I wanna say I never expected the Tails mission to be the most fun but running through the military base in his plane mech was so so much fun. And Tails' VA is super cute too!

And I think I'm getting a hang of the controls. Knuckles is still the most difficult for me to control though so would you have any tips? Or just general tips for the game itself? If you don't mind me asking of course 👉👈

Oh and the Chao garden is so cute I love it so much...

Hey, no problem! It is one of my most beloved games from my childhood so of course I'm gonna recommend it to people!

Hell yeah! A lot of people really don't like the other playstyles but I personally enjoy all three of them. And I get what you mean, there's just something so satisfying about booking it through the levels and shooting everything in sight. Also, little tip for the mech stages: hold down the shoot button and wiggle the stick to lock onto more enemies at once then release the shoot button, you'll get a way higher score from it.

And yes! I love Tails' voice in this game! In this era, Tails was voiced by a different person in pretty much every game because they got young boys to voice him and then in between games, they'd hit puberty and couldn't do the voice anymore. But my personal favourite is the SA2 voice, he does a really, really good job and if my memory serves me right, he's the little brother of the guy who voiced Tails in SA1.

Yeah, the treasure hunting levels are the most hated levels in the game... Again, I personally love them and they're my sister's favourite levels, but they can be a little annoying at times, especially because some levels, mostly Rouge's, have some caveats to them.

My biggest piece of advice is don't even worry about your ranking for the first try, just investigate the areas and familiarise yourself with the big landmarks and stuff around them so that when you read the hints, you have a better idea of where to search, especially since you only get three hints per item. Also, try getting into more open areas and spinning the camera when searching your surroundings cause it tends to freak out in smaller areas. Honestly, your biggest enemy in the treasure hunting stages is the camera, so I think once you figure it out and get the jankiness to work for you, you'll be golden. Also also, Knuckles has an optional power up item in the level Aquatic Mine that can make searching certain areas a lot easier, I could tell you were to find it if you're interested.

Also, for general tips - 1) go back to levels you find easy and collect loads of rings to just grind for loads of lives so you don't have to start back at the menu so often, 2) a lot of the platforming you just need to go for it, if you wimp out, you'll probably fail so just say 'fuck it' and go for it, 3) literally just get the camera in a headlock and force it to work for you, the camera is one of the worst things in this game. That's everything I can think of off the top of my head but if there's anything else you need help with, don't hesitate to ask.

Also, there's four levels in particular that are very annoying so I would be happy to give tips in advance if you'd like them, but since only one of them is in the Hero story, I'll give it to you now: Eternal Engine - hold back on your shooting. Shooting everything in sight will only get you killed.

Yes!! I love love love the chao garden and so does everyone else! It's why we've been begging for another one since 2001 but Sega's a little bitch and keeps ignoring us!!! But the Chao garden is actually surprisingly deep with what you can do with your chao, and I didn't learn that until a few years ago because I didn't have internet as a kid, there's even an entire website dedicated to it! I could give you a link if you're interested, but honestly for when you're beginning, just messing around and doing what you want and loving your chao is enough.

I really didn't mean to write this much, this just what this game does to me... 😅