#i'M NOT DESPERATE

[foxghost]

Personal life is a bit of a mess at the moment.

More details later, but that's why I haven't been around -- the past 14 months have basically been terrible, but depending on the next month or so, maybe better?

(it is very difficult to extricate oneself from a 20-year-long relationship)

(but i have to leave. he's getting a gun license.)

[janetbrown711]

Besties wait I like answering asks about Li Na send me more plz---

[orchideous-nox]

I need tiktok to do less because it showed me a tarot card reader who opened up with "you are about to get into a relationship with someone who literally worships the ground you walk on". I'm already calling bullshit but continue.

The next tiktok was an edit of two Marauders cosplayers who are in a relationship, which felt like a way to further rub it in that I am in fact single.

In unrelated news, if anyone fancies falling in love with someone who has the personality of Evan Rosier and the hair of Lily Evans then hmu with a quick "you are my literal soulmate" and I'll meet you at the alter within 15 minutes.

[the-nova1324]

Okay but can I be for real tho for a sec?

What I need, like, I think it would solve a good 80% of my problems, is to lay down in someone's lap and fall asleep as they run their fingers through my hair.

It sounds so therapeutic

[dabididubidi]

I would like to say one thing to the guy that liked 40 of my posts in a row (you know who you are)

Nothing personal, but I thought you would follow after that... like, I know it's nothing, but man I kinda feel like a slut now, it's stupid I know

But you didn't even called after that...

[lingrimmart]

Fake yourself as human.

[magentasnail]

I'm absolutely obsessed with the book of bill, best thing i've ever read and it no joke gave me actual nightmares !! 100/10

[drawerbread]

what if in atn harrow resurrected g/k. and then they cuddled. what then.

[queerofthedagger]

I'd truly be the worst person to stick into a timeloop because I'd really just spend the first 5 years catching up on my book tbr, the next 7 on all the movies and shows that've Been On My List for ages, and then another decade on ao3. like sure nothing may stick but my memories will and i can just go into a supermarket to get snacks and wine each day, and i have art to indulge in. like thanks for the hints on how to get out but respectfully, I am busy

[nouverx]

These two have the potential to be the funniest duo of the show istg

First one is from this amazing reblog from one of my posts, second one is inspired by some of the replies of said post

[rejoiceinsilverlight]

the suit isn't complete until martha kent says so 🗣🗣🗣

[angryonabus]

grocery bags: a hard-hitting investigative report

Every week I come home from grocery shopping and say two things to my wife:

"L and I were super normal and appropriate at the grocery store this week! Everybody noticed and commented on how normal and appropriate we were!" AND

"If I live one hundred thousand years, I will never understand the mind of a supermarket bagger."

The first one is self-explanatory; the second is because the baggers at our grocery store invariably pack our bags in ways that defy all logic.

...my logic, at least. But life is a rich tapestry! Maybe I'm an outlier in my preferences! Thus: a poll.

CAVEATS:

You are buying enough groceries that they won't all fit in a single bag; you must use multiple bags.

You have enough bags of the type you prefer (paper, plastic, reusable), so 'not having enough bags' is not a concern.

Bags will be packed with reasonable consideration for keeping everything functional (e.g. nobody is packing a bag of chips at the bottom of a bag of canned goods.)

[your-fuccked-up-dad-volume100]

The urge to kidnap her & rape her in the woods. Chained against a tree & split open on my cock. The screams in pain drowning out all the pathetic cries for help. Carving our initials inside of a heart on, “our” tree afterwards so everyone knows what a sweet couple we are.🔪

[nataliescatorccio]

"Can we do it again?" "Give me five minutes... maybe ten."

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

i vote that next year instead of reading Dracula we do a Jeeves & Wooster Book Club. those two never got the rabid tumblr shipping fandom they deserved (disqualified for the sheer technicality of being published a century too soon). we must correct this injustice