#i��ll have to do it more but i think it’s working better for me than what i was doing previously. anyways

[aroace-number-eight]

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[astrobydalia]

Aquamarine. Gold. Lavender.Colors of summer... Astro Observations

work by astrobydalia

Your 9th house rules your gandchildren! 9th house is 5th from 5th so your kids' kids.

Also, if you are any of your parent's first kid look at their 11th house to get a glimpse at how they will perceive your fs. (11th house is 7th from 5th, so your first kid's spouse)

^^these are derivative astrology methods so you gotta use whole sign system

The scorpion actually represents the underdeveloped/young version of Scorpio while the developed version of Scorpio is represented by the eagle which to me is analogous to the phoenix. That's why you see an eagle representing Scorpio in the The World card (cause this card signifies fulfillment or completion in tarot)

I think the song 'Part of Me' by Katy Perry really illustrates developed Scorpio energy. Is not resentful or vengeful but rather transformative and empowering, you can't end their spirit just like you can't end a phoenix. Underdeveloped Scorpio energy allows pain, trauma and resentment to ultimately k!ll their soul which turns into self-destruction, think how scorpion's stinger actually points at them (and fun fact: scorpions can actually k!ll themselves when they feel cornered)

Being "different" or an "outcast" is not an Aquarius trait, it's a Leo trait. Leo is all about being yourself, being unique, the one and only and main character energy. Aquarius rules inclusivity, equality, social cohesion, FRIENDSHIP (aka people who get you) and public validation, that's why it is a strong fame indicator. Aquarius energy is relatable to others, its new and fresh, Leo it not relatable because it is unique, it shines among the crowd and burns just like the Sun. Aquarius can be unique too but the main difference is Leos feel ultimately they only have themselves while Aquarius will always have people.

Leos are meant to experience feeling "different" or outcasted because they need to learn to accept and express themselves no matter what, that's why it rules bravery and courage. They often either feel alone in their "greatness" or feel like nobody accepts their real self. Either way its more common for them than for Aquarius to experience loneliness and rejection just like the sun can't never have anything come too close to it

Aquarius does not rule uniqueness per se it rules innovation, authenticity and detachment from the ego. Aquarians that try hard to be different and separated from "most" people are underdeveloped because they're still attached to their ego and this is the n1 thing that kills their innovative potential. Aquarius doesn't do things to validate the self like Leo, it generates ideas on how humanity can better express itself and develop, that's why it rules over technology, science and activism and that's why they're known to be trend setters. Air signs are all about finding common ground, aquarians are not meant to be different from communities or groups but rather find new and authentic new ways to represent them (hence the inclusivity).

All the Gemini Venus I've met were very loyal in their relationships idk what you guys are talking about. They are the golden retriever person that is head over heals obsessed with their partner. It's not easy to get them to commit cus they need someone who has that perfect blend between goofy and mysterious, too much of either bores them quickly. They love in a playful and child-like way so I see how they can be flighty and non-commital sometimes but if they're genuinely intrigued by you oh boy they'll be ALL over you in every way pretty consistently

Harsh aspects (esp square) between Mercury-Mercury in synastry are a no-go when it comes to compatibility. The two people can get along well and like each other if the rest of the synastry supports it but they likely have NOTHING in common. Efforts to try and find shared interests or ideas might be misunderstood or feel forced because there's none 😭. Even if you do have shared ideas or interests, you will have vastly different ways of looking at them because the way in which you both think/communicate always clash so you never really see eye to eye. You can get away with having unharmonious connections between venus or mars in synastry but mercury? Nah.

When it comes to predictions specially, you need to have AT LEAST three indicators for an energy to stick. For example, having just one planet at 29º doesn't mean you're gonna be famous, you need to have at least three fame indicators to even consider fame in chart. Also, I can't stress this enough, you REALLY shouldn't need to dig too hard to find the indicators, they're usually evident and fit into the context of the chart, meaning there are no other things contradicting or neutralizing said energy.

Even though we often look at 7th house for marriage, you are most likely to consider marrying and settling down with people who have their placements in your 4th house and/or 10th house, or you just see them as marriage potential in general. 4th house creates a sense of home, security and familiarity while 10th house synastry points to shared goals, seeing a future together, etc. That's how you'll feel tho, to see if that would happen you gotta check composite chart

If you have fire in your big 3 I just know you love being unhinged and a little wild once you get comfortable

Natives with Venus-Chiron aspects tend to have... questionable taste in lovers or get in relationships that are not so promising (forbidden love, etc). Their love life is always a struggle, they feel like they can't find someone that truly loves them and when they do it's always "complicated". With hard aspects they tend to date people who blatantly suck (abusers, psychos, players, etc). With easy aspects this can happen too but I've noticed they are more prone to attracting people who are alright however deep down are very troubled and/or unavailable individuals so the native tends to be the one to heal or sooth their lover.

Scorpio Mars can have sadistic tendencies... It obviously does NOT have to go that far for everyone, in fact most of them are pretty tame but this placement really gets off on the reactions of others I've noticed. Their n1 superpower is catching you off guard and poking at you psychologically. They know exactly what strings to pull and are very aware of how anything they do or say can trigger and affect others. This can manifest as smart and punchy humor, teasing... or really toxic behaviors. Oh and you do NOT wanna see them genuinely angry 😶 If you have this placement im gonna kindly ask you to please use your powers for good 😭💀

Females with Libra placements could have experienced being 'the other woman' I've seen this a lotttt. Either that or they constantly attract situatioships. They have a tendency to not be taken seriously by the opposite sex, only being seen as a trophy or a pretty face kinda vibe. Unless they also have Cancer energy

Which is interesting to see cause even though Libra rules marriage, the kind of women who are mostly perceived as marriage material by men are Cancer placements not Libra. If you think about it, it makes sense tho cause cancer rules family and motherhood

Water venus people have a very approachable and understanding aura. Very diplomatic and tactful, they'll effortlessly make you feel comfortable around them. Equally accepting of others both in public and in privet, but you'll automatically lose them if you make them feel invaded

Fire venus motto is "it's impossible to impress me.... but let's see you try😏". They purposefully market themselves as hard to get cause they want to see what you got. Will constantly crave interactions with some fun and friction

Earth venus are a lot more harsh, they haven't even talked to you yet but somehow have already decided you didn't make the cut 🥱 Silent observers, they'll have a mental spread sheet of what they like and don't like about you

With air venus you don't want to come off too strong otherwise you'll activate their fight or flight response 🏃‍♀️ You'll never know where you stand with them but if you wanna get closer you need to keep it playful and give them space

Virgo Sun/Mars/ASC like to help others but they do it in such way that is also indirectly self-serving to themselves. Virgos are sidereal Leos, they secretly want recognition for their modesty and want their actions and efforts to ultimately shine back on them

Underdeveloped Pisces Moons are selfish and out of touch. I’ve noticed this placement is painted in a way too innocent light but they can have a nasty shadow too. They will not accept anything that does not conform to their delusional expectations about life and when things don't go their way they’ll isolate in melancholy and victimize themselves using the ‘misunderstood’ card. They can have a really twisted perception of reality, confusing the lines between right and wrong to accommodate their own narrative. Think Thanos from MCU, that character is a perfect example of underdeveloped Pisces Moon fr!! They tend to be very aloof and weaponize their empathy to appear innocent . Can use the “I can understand the world but the world doesn’t understand me” mentality to justify everything they do without ever feeling bad about it.

Another Return that brings a lot of karmic lessons aside from Saturn Return is your North Node return which happens every 18 years (Ages 18, 36, 54, etc)

Gemini risings have a fabricated or fragmented personality. They're often attracted to things like astrology, personality stuff, psychology, etc because it helps them make sense of themselves through abstract concepts. They also tent to define themselves through imitation or comparison like "I do that too", etc. It's very easy for them to convince themselves they're something they're not (gemini rules lies and deception), that's why they're often good actors (Pisces 10th house). They come across as very air-headed cause who they present themselves to be is based on who they THINK and SAY they are vs. how that translates in reality

Based on my life experience and also the responses in astro/observation posts, I've observed Scorpio placements respond relatively well to criticism. Not saying they don't care, but they can handle being villainized quite well because when developed they can have a really healthy acceptance of their shadow side and toxic traits. They also don't mind being misunderstood cause that means people can't pry on their business

CANCER, Libra, Leo and Virgo placements on the other hand are the most sensitive to criticism.... They can't handle not being seen as "the good one" all the time

Most Pisces suns I've met gave off huge xNTJ vibes for some reason like very deep thinkers, silent, sarcastic with a low-key threatening and unapproachable aura. Also VERY elusive and protective their personal stuff, they embodied the "mysterious" Scorpio stereotype fr.

However Pisces sun+pisces venus combo gives much softer vibe, more quiet and doormat-like, you'd think they're high 24/7.

The other bunch of Pisces suns Ive met had a very bubbly and dramatic personality. Can be emotional in a really performative way

Libra Mars people are SMOOOOOTH. Not only with their words but also their mannerisms, how they move and do things in general. You'll never see them triggered or stressed, they make everything look so effortless

The Pluto in Scorpio generation (millennials mostly) were the ones who started this mental health awareness wave. All this concern with anxiety, depression, mental and personality disorders was started by them. They’re the ones who started putting focus on the deeper effects of the dark psychology (Scorpio).

All the people that have scared me and traumatized me deeply for life had planets in my 12th house with no 8th house synastry in sight whatsoever…

>>> In my experience 8th house synastry is only intense in the moment but eventually you get over it fast once you stop entertaining the person/situation. It might be hard to let it go tho cause the connection is intense and this person will leave a lasting impression, but once it’s done that person is forever dead to you. 12th house synastry on the other hand is giving "I fight with you in my sleep", 12th house feels harmless at first but it deals with themes of sorrow and shame. It lingers and haunts you fr. Let’s remember that Saturn, the planet of permanece and lessons, finds its joy in the 12th house…

8th house venus/juno is NOT a sugar baby indicator imo. As per my observation, it is actually the 8th house native that ends up making a lot of money and their spouse/partner benefits from the native's income and success. I swear every person I've seen with these placements had "we could hang out in my yacht if you want😉" as their main flirting technique LMAO. Their own power (8th house) is their main source of seduction and attraction (Venus/Juno)

I believe 2nd house Venus/Juno is more indicative of sugar baby energy. They want that spoiled good life with little effort even if that means being financially dependent on someone else or using family's money

In contrast I've noticed 8th house placements are not really like that, they have a HEAVY entrepreneurial spirit. Super ambitious individuals

With that being said, be careful if your have natal 8th house placements (specially Venus, Moon, Juno, 7th house ruler), cause the people you bond with WILL benefit from YOUR income and success. That's why these natives are prone to experiencing betrayal, cause if you surround yourself with the wrong people they'll take what they want from you or cause chaos in your life and then leave, so use your intuition!!

With 2nd house energy you are good at keeping your resources and income safe, but this means they can lose value if you don't use or invest them eventually just like food goes bad if it just sits in the fridge. With 8th house energy you are prone to loss, debt, loans and other financial risks where you either lose it all or gain lots and lots of money, the all or nothing nature of plutonic energy.

I bet any virgo placement can relate to being a little bit of mess but something I’ve seen in particular with Virgo risings is they are surprisingly sloppy?? You really wouldn't in a million years think so given how they always end up presenting good results but once you know them deeply you notice they often miss out on important details in the process or get so caught up with short-term things that they miss the big picture. Either way, they often look like they got it all together but they constantly improvise a lot more that what it looks like in the surface

Aquarius Mars is a placement I've seen A LOT in celebrities, specially well-liked ones. They attract people to them just by existing, they don't even have to try too hard

I’ve noticed a lot of critically acclaimed actors have air moons

Sagittarius Part of Fortune have a vibrant and fun spirit, you can’t never kill their vibes but they can tend to be immature. It’s like they’re completely oblivious to anything serious 

Libras are people pleasers due to a hidden inferiority complex (sidereal virgo)

work by astrobydalia

[jsluvtzu]

who’s protecting who?

park jihyo x fem!reader

summary: in the midst of attempting to keep jihyo from getting hurt, you ultimately forget about yourself

cw: none, men dni

wc: 5k

a/n: first fic in a while hooray!! my friends and i beat the pickleball pandemic and caught the volleyball virus instead, so enjoy this fluffy vb themed fic :p (this might be my longest one yet)

as you finished ringing up the last customer of the usual lunch rush, you felt your phone buzz in your back pocket. hurriedly assuring the customer that their order would be out soon and excusing yourself to the back, you asked your coworker to take over the counter for a bit while you took a small break from standing for so long.

pulling your phone out of your pocket and into your hand, you saw a text message flash across your screen, slightly blocking the lockscreen picture you had of your girlfriend kissing your cheek.

jihyo 🩷

y/nnn i think i wanna try volleyball and learn how to be as good as u :pp

smiling as your eyes flickered between reading her text and reminiscing on the exact moment the photo on your phone was taken, you tapped on the message and replied.

okay love i"ll teach u lol

knowing jihyo had a busy schedule consisting of both work and her 12 different hobbies, you didn't want her to overwhelm herself by taking on yet another one. nonetheless, you were excited to have her join you in something that you've always imagined the two of you doing together.

u sure ur not too busy tho?

it'd been about 2 years since you first picked up the sport as a pastime with a couple friends. eventually it turned into friendly tournaments on the weekends at the local community court with other groups, which then turned into trying out for professional leagues and miraculously making it into one.

jihyo 🩷

i can always make time silly

unfortunately, your break time was now quickly coming to an end, so you rushed to type out a response and carelessly shoved your phone back into your pocket.

we can go after i get off work then :) wear something u can freely move in and put on ur most comfortable shoes. i love u see u soon ml

speedrunning through the last few hours of your shift was excruciating when all you could think about was finally being able to show the girl you loved most how to play the sport you loved most. the anticipation of coaching her into becoming a better player than you made it impossible for you to focus on making a drink as simple as an iced latte.

"oh shit-" you whispered to yourself, realizing that you'd almost overfilled the cup with the caffeinated liquid.

as you clocked out and drove home, you couldn't stop yourself from mindlessly humming and calmly dancing to the music you had playing in your car. your coworkers even stopped to ask you, "what's got you in such a good mood?" multiple times.

and to no surprise, jihyo was already packed and ready to go the minute you opened the door to your shared apartment. the oversized backpack on her shoulders was filled to the brim with snacks and water for the active evening ahead. her sporty outfit was exactly what you'd imagined your girlfriend would wear. a slightly loose fitting muscle tee, athletic leggings, and her new favorite pair of running shoes on her feet to top it all off.

you couldn't help but melt at her eagerness as you took your shoes off and set your keys down onto the table by your shoe rack.

"hi baby," you said amusedly, "you're well prepared i see."

she beamed at you with her doe eyes and hummed in agreement as she skipped towards you to greet you with a kiss. her warm lips made contact with yours in a desperate manner, almost a silent message to relay just how much she'd missed you since you left for work early in the morning. you pulled away just enough to where your lips barely grazed each other, "let me change first and then we can be on our way, okay?" you pecked her lips again and once more to her cheek as you walked away to your shared bedroom to free yourself of your coffee reeking clothes. jihyo quickly set her backpack down onto the couch and followed behind you shortly.

you changed into your team's white long sleeved compression jersey with your custom number on the back; a bright pink "21" for jihyo, of course. soon after, you slid into your spandex shorts and turned your head to the side to see jihyo leaning up against the wall next to you. the sunlight shining through the open blinds accentuated her features perfectly. she was smiling proudly as she watched you morph into a different version of yourself that she only saw at your games.

"what're you looking at.." you said shyly, suddenly feeling self-conscious under your girlfriend's gaze.

she only giggled in response and lifted herself off the wall to fill the room with a loud smacking sound as she slapped your ass and made her way over to your bed, plopping down and facing the ceiling. you immediately let out a loud "oww!!" and rubbed over your burning cheek to soothe it.

"so, who are we playing against today? anyone i should be worried about?" jihyo asked. you walked over to the full-sized mirror in the corner of the room before answering her question, still focused on the stinging pain she left. "hm? oh, actually we aren't playing a real match today. i'm just gonna be showing you the basics and whatnot," you replied, tying your hair into a messy low bun at the same time.

a couple seconds of silence passed, concerning you enough to make you look behind you through the mirror and see your girlfriend who once laid flat down suddenly pin-straight up glaring at you. her posture was something out of a horror movie the way her back was perfectly aligned and her hands were beside her knees. you gulped and almost genuinely got scared until you glanced down to see her feet barely touching the floor. that's when you choked back a laugh at how cute her attempt at intimidating you was.

you finished up doing your hair and walked towards your pouty girlfriend. "what's wrong? why are you making a face like you just came out of one of those insidious movies?” you asked, pulling out a few strands to frame your face.

she whined in response, "i don't wanna learn the basics.. that's so boring. i wanna learn how to really play volleyball. not that kiddie stuff for the youth age group." you reached a hand up to tuck a loose strand of hair behind her ear, "hey! that 'kiddie stuff' is really important, you know. you can't just go right into spiking without knowing how to hit and jump correctly first," you grumbled. jihyo looked at you confusedly, "..spiking..?" "exactly," you huffed.

jihyo groaned as she launched herself backwards onto the bed, the sheets rustling under her and beginning to surround her as she sunk further into the mattress.

"trust meee, it's for your own safety, love. i just don't want you getting hurt if i let you go right into a game not knowing what to do, that's all. a one-on-one session is always the best option for beginners," you reassured her, grabbing both of her arms and slowly pulling her up towards you. when you heard your girlfriend groan at you again, you realized it could be something else bothering her.

"ohh, or are you just annoyed that you have to be alone with me?? is that what this is??" you asked teasingly. but as soon as she heard that, jihyo stopped her whining immediately and scrunched her eyebrows up in a questioning manner, shaking her head aggressively.

"w-what? no! why would i be not wanna be alone with you! i just wanna be good already! just like.. let me skip the tutorial or something pleaseee," she pleaded. jihyo removed her arms from your grip and wrapped them around your waist, pulling you closer to her. you mockingly nodded your head and sarcastically spewed out "uh huhs" and "mhms" repeatedly, letting your girlfriend continue tightly hugging you and begging you for a free pass.

-

during the whole car ride there, it was impossible for you and jihyo to spend more than 2 seconds without touching each other in some way. whether it be her insisting she hold your hand while she secretly gushed at how attractive you look driving one-handed, or her switching to playing with your fingers while she asked more volleyball questions, or even kissing at each red light, there was never a single moment in that car where you two weren’t expressing your love in a form of touch.

as you pulled into the parking lot of the court complex, jihyo remembered the long nights and hours upon hours you would spend at these courts — it was practically your second home. that thought suddenly worried her that she might’ve been taking away your precious practice hours.

“baby, don’t you have practice today? if you do, you have to focus on that, not teaching me how to play. we can always do that some other time,” jihyo rambled.

you softly laughed at her flustered state knowing that you never told her the season was over yet. “no, love, don’t worry. it’s off-season for now, i don’t have any practices to go to,” you said reassuringly, squeezing her hand in yours to help settle her down. “plus, i would skip out on practice any day if it meant i could be with you.”

she sighed contently as you parked in an empty spot and turned the car off. before jihyo could even reach to click her seatbelt off, you teleported over to her side, opening the door for her and holding your hand out to help her up from your low sedan seats. your girlfriend mewled at the chivalrous gesture, grinning from ear to ear as she peeked her head out of the door. and to make sure she didn’t bump her head against the doorframe, you shielded her head with your hand as she came up.

popping the trunk open, you grabbed your backpack that was filled with volleyball gear and swung it over one shoulder. you made sure to grab jihyo’s as well, throwing hers over your other shoulder.

“you see that building over there with the big 2 painted on it?” you asked, pointing to the right side of the complex, “that’s where we’ll be. it’s a smaller court though since it’s only a practice gym.” jihyo looked in the direction you pointed at and hummed as she took in the size difference from the competition gym on the left and the practice one you mentioned.

while you were leading her to the unlocked doors of the practice court, jihyo kept pestering you to let her help you with one of the bags you were carrying, but of course you never let up. it even got to the point where you accidentally whacked your poor girlfriend with her own snack-filled bag while twisting and turning in protest of her need to help you.

“oh fu- sorry! i’m sorry, it was an accident i swear!” you frantically apologized, pulling jihyo into a messy hug. the heavy bags on your shoulders slipping off your arms as you held her close to you.

jihyo faked a hissy fit and jokingly pushed you away, “no i get it, you just hate me,” she said firmly, turning her head sharply and crossing her arms.

you paid no mind to your girlfriend’s antics, only catching up to her to hold open the door and watch her stomp past you in a sulk.

“i love youuu,” you chuckled.

her reply was barely audible, but you heard her mumble out an “i love you too” back.

-

setting your things down on the floor along the sidelines, you grabbed out an extra pair of knee pads you'd packed for jihyo. "come here love, let me put these on you," you ordered. it was difficult to slide the pads onto her legs with her shoes still on, so you helped her take them off for the time being, placing the pair neatly beside you.

kneeling down in front of her, you gently lifted one of jihyo's legs up at a time, skillfully adjusting the protective pads around her knee and taking extra precaution to make sure her legs were still able to move properly. you then sat back on your knees and admired your work, wondering why you felt like there was something missing.

"hmm.. i think.. i have something else for you to try on too," you pondered, digging through your bag once again to discover an old pair of extra small knee pads that didn't fit you anymore.

standing up with the gear in your hands, you held your girlfriend's forearm out as you stretched the material to enclose around her limb.

you snickered slightly at your spontaneous idea, "these are makeshift elbow pads specially designed for you." the pads were big enough to fit comfortably around her arms, protecting her exposed elbows from any potential harm.

jihyo allowed you to put them on her with no complaint, but soon began her whining when she began to feel the restricting feeling around her arms that was slightly limiting her movement.

"noo y/n, i don't need these. and they're so uncomfy!! i think i would play better without them.." she argued, scratching at the inside of her elbows to relieve the itching it caused.

knowing that your girlfriend was bound to try something outside of her comfort zone once she got into the flow of things, you decided it was the right decision to do everything in your power to help keep her from hurting herself while doing so. "just wear them please ji, i would feel much better seeing those on you," you refuted. it was true. you felt at peace knowing at least your girlfriend's precious joints were protected if not anything else.

she sighed out annoyedly, but ultimately complied to your requests only because she didn't want you to worry about her.

"thank you, my love," you said in satisfaction. you then reached into the cart of volleyballs behind you as jihyo slipped her shoes back on, squeezing a few to determine which one had enough air in it. grabbing the one you felt was best, you warmed up your wrist a bit by dropping the ball in front of you and striking it straight down, catching it once it came back up a couple times.

"okay, so first things first. you're gonna learn how to serve the ball," you said, leading her to the middle of the court facing the net. "the goal is to hit the ball over the net and onto the opponent's side of the court so that they can receive it and keep it in motion," you softly explained, repositioning her arms and legs into the perfect position for a proper serve.

jihyo picked up the skill quickly as you explained each step to her in full detail, making sure to critique her mistakes and show her the better way of executing her moves. within about 15 minutes of the first lesson, your girlfriend was already on her way to becoming the next star player for your team.

once she got at least 3 serves over the net, you decided she was ready to move onto the next step; receiving the ball. you showed her the proper way to hold her arms together and how to position herself under the ball to pass it to a teammate in front of her. you could tell jihyo was a natural at the sport as she was with any other activity she's ever tried.

after about an hour or so, her form was starting to get smoother and her reaction times were getting faster. but your energy needed replenishing and so did hers.

taking a short break together on the bleachers, you both had a water bottle in hand and shared the protein bar that jihyo had prepared earlier.

"do you wanna try peppering with me? i think you could be pretty good at it at this rate," you asked, sensing the way she was getting antsy to move onto something more advanced.

jihyo had no idea what exactly it was that you were asking her about, but she was eager to try it anyways. you put it in simple terms for her, explaining that it was a back and forth process of hitting and receiving the ball to each other. and just like that, hearing that she would be able to play against you in a way got jihyo excited again, the adrenaline giving her more energy than that protein bar ever did.

"okay! let's do it! come on!" jihyo exclaimed, throwing her bottle to the side and skipping back to the court while grabbing the ball. you smiled at how endearing she was and followed her soon enough, joining her across the same side of the court.

after another hour and a half of you two going at it, jihyo was seriously improving with the minimal coaching she had from you. it was honestly impressive how quickly she adapted to the flow of the game, but you expected nothing less of her.

deciding it was alright to push her a little further since she had all the protective gear in the world on, you picked up your pace a bit and spiked the ball harder, giving her less time to react and training her reflexes. obviously, jihyo played along effortlessly, getting herself hyped up by her newfound skill at volleyball. you could hear her cheer for herself everytime she successfully received the ball and sent it back in your direction.

but what you soon failed to realize was that the once amateur jihyo you knew 3 hours ago was gone. her alter ego had now taken over and fueled her with that insane ambition she had hidden away. as your eyes were too focused on watching her in case she fell, you completely failed to see the flying ball coming at your face at the speed of light.

bam.

you don't really remember what happened next, but it seemed like everything was happening in slow motion. the world faded into a quick darkness as you felt something pushing against your face. that's when reality hit. or better yet, that's when you were hit.

jihyo had gotten carried away with her strength and sent the ball directly towards your lovely face with a perfectly executed spike. not knowing she was capable of that, she screamed out in pure terror when she saw your body fall backwards onto the shiny hardwood floor.

"holy shit! y/n!! oh my god, oh my god!? are you okay??!" she panicked, sprinting over to your side and crouching down to lay you onto her lap.

you could only croak out in pain and kept your eyes sealed shut as the bright fluorescent lights above you were too intense to take in at the moment.

jihyo repeatedly muttered out small apologies and cradled you as she looked over your face to see a big red spot that she left across one side.

"y/n, please.. i'm so sorry baby, please talk to me. do you know who i am?! how many fingers am i holding up?? what's your name? how old are you!" jihyo cried in distress. she cupped your cheek and gently tapped it with her thumb to try and get you alert and awake again.

slowly opening your eyes at the feeling of her soft touch, you blinked your eyes slowly as you adjusted to the bright lights, making out the faint figure of your girlfriend in front of you. "i'm fine, ji, don't worry," you whispered in between groans. you reached a hand up to your forehead, feeling the tenderness as you ran your fingers over the surface. wincing slightly, you regained enough composure to inch your way up off of jihyo's lap, her arms coming behind your back to support your body.

"is there anything i can get you? maybe an ice pack or something?" jihyo said meekly. you could tell even through your disoriented state that she was feeling guilty. before you could even think of an answer, you could only bring yourself to thoughts of hurrying up and recovering so you could show her that it’s okay.

"uhh, yeah. yeah, there should be a um- gel pack in the freezer in the uh.. coach's room across the field," you stammered, squinting your eyes closed when the lights became too much again.

with no hesitation, jihyo got up and ran towards the door to follow your directions as you told her where to get the ice pack.

"you stay right there, okay? don't move," jihyo demanded. you could only nod your head weakly, shifting yourself to slowly lay back down on the cold tile beneath you. the sound of the metal door closing behind jihyo reverberated throughout the open space.

the pain across your face was getting worse as time went by, the throbbing you felt on your eyebrow in sync with your heartbeat.

as your mind started to process what just happened, your brain began to flash images of the ball smashing your face in repeatedly, making you cringe at how dumb you probably looked. with your knees propped up and your feet on the ground, you held your hands to your face and rapidly kicked the floor in a temper tantrum, simultaneously wailing at the replaying moment in your head.

you silently cursed yourself out for allowing yourself to be so careless and possibly giving your girlfriend the ick by seeing you get your face contorted with the sheer force of impact.

shooting your body upright, you slid backwards on your hands towards the wall, leaning against it and rummaging through your bag to find your phone. after you found it, you quickly switched to the camera app to check the damage, already sensing how big the knot on your forehead was going to get in the next hour. sure enough, the large red and tender spot on the left side of your face was growing a lump. being in pure disbelief, you moved the camera further away to get your full face in frame, staring at yourself in shame and embarrassment. after a couple more seconds of examining yourself, you could only conjure up a scoff and put your phone down as soon as you heard the door open loudly again.

jihyo, who came in sprinting to your aid with an ice cold gel pack, was leaving a trail of condensation behind her as it was thawing in her hands. once again, you could only think about how dangerous it would be if she were to slip and fall on the water, but the continually throbbing pain on your face was making it difficult for you to speak up and scold her to be careful.

"here, put this on it for now. it should help the swelling go down," jihyo panted, clearly out of breath from running around outside trying to find the coach's office while being worried sick about you at the same time. she ran her thumb over the small bump forming on your eyebrow and cooed at how much pain you must've been in.

she gently pressed the ice pack to your forehead and kept whispering small apologies, her pretty face scrunched into the cutest concerned look you've ever seen. you weren't usually the type of person to like being taken care of like that, but seeing jihyo like this only made you want to get hurt again just to see that look on her face. but looking down slightly at her arms, you couldn't help but laugh at how ridiculous she looked with those makeshift elbow pads she still had on.

"what's so funny? do you really think you should be laughing right now?" jihyo reprimanded.

you almost cackled in her face at her sternness, but quickly stopped and winced in pain instead when the pain in your face prevented you from forming a real smile.

jihyo tsked at you and told you to shut up, adjusting the ice pack to cover more area on your skin. "stop moving, would you?" you cleared your throat, "sorry it's just- you look crazy with those elbow pads on," you said, stifling a laugh. suddenly a slap landed on your shoulder which you didn't see coming since jihyo had both of your eyes covered with the ice pack. "don't be annoying right now, y/n. you were the one who made me wear them anyways.."

she took the ice pack off your face to quickly slide the stupid pads off her arms, which she struggled to do. you helped her wiggle them off and threw them to the side as she pressed the cold pack back to your skin again.

"alright, alright," you surrendered. "wait. isn’t it me who’s supposed to be the one mad at you right now? given that you were the one who hit me in the face in the first place.."

your girlfriend paused and rolled her eyes at your smart comment, "why don't you just shut up and hold that to your busted ass face, how about that?" she said sarcastically, grabbing your hand to take over holding the pack against your head.

jihyo was pretending that she was okay by making jokes and getting annoyed at you, but in reality, you knew that she was beating herself up inside with the guilt of getting too carried away and hurting you. she's always wished that her competitiveness wasn't so intense since it could result in someone getting hurt just like you did.

besides the point, jihyo helped you stand up and grabbed your things and hers, sneaking away your keys from your bag's outer pocket with her empty hand.

she linked arms with you while your other arm was stuck covering the left side of your face with the freezing cold pack of blue gel. "let's go home and get you fixed up," jihyo said, reassuring you that she would make you feel all better. "oh, and i'm driving us home," she added, clearly not leaving any room for an argument.

"what? no. i'll drive," you argued anyways.

"y/n are you insane? you can't even see out of one eye right now, angel. i'm driving." jihyo made sure to emphasize the last part to you, unbeknownst to you as she already had your keys in her pocket.

the both of you continued arguing the whole way to the car, jihyo ultimately winning as she managed to get you towards the passenger side. but in the middle of your bickering, a familiar voice stopped you dead in your tracks.

"oh! isn't that?-"

it was the same friend who you ditched earlier with the excuse that you were "too tired" to join her and your other friends in a scrimmage today.

"hi, stacy!" jihyo greeted, waving at your friend enthusiastically.

you hid your face away from stacy as you heard her voice get closer, already expecting her to tease you about your injury.

"hellooo, y/n! what are you guys doing here this late?" she asked innocently, inching her neck downwards to make eye contact with you since you had your head held down. "and- what happened to your face?"

you sighed, knowing there was no escape from this now. "oh i just.. i…" you stuttered, looking to jihyo for help.

she picked up your signal immediately, "oh! that? y/n just fell and hit her head, that's all," jihyo laughed awkwardly.

"uh huhh. so this is why you were 'too tired' to scrim with us tonight then, huh?" stacy asked sarcastically, getting uncomfortably closer to your face.

while snickering, you slapped the gel pack on stacy's face, causing her to wipe her face and gasp out in shock.

"shut up," you teased, playfully pushing your friend away.

after a few minutes of catching up, you three eventually said your goodbyes and waited to see stacy drive off before turning to open the car door.

"wait- what did she mean by you were 'too tired?'" jihyo asked, pulling you back by your arm.

"oh, yeah. i told the group earlier that i was gonna take the day off since i was tired. we were supposed to play a practice match against some teams today, but, i got to spend my time doing something better instead," you said, smiling down at her and admiring the way the moonlight reflected against her glassy eyes, moving a sweaty strand of hair from her forehead.

jihyo couldn't help but pull your face towards hers and smash your lips together, completely forgetting about the fact that your whole face was in the early process of bruising. your eyes widened and you moaned painfully against her lips, attempting to pull away from the grip she had on both of your cheeks.

luckily, she realized it and released you, apologizing hectically once again. "oh shit- oh my god i forgot! i'm sorry baby, you were too cute and i couldn't help myself," she explained.

"haven't you hurt me enough today??" you asked in an annoyed tone. you quickly regretted it though once you saw the pouty look on her face and the way she said she didn't mean to in that little whiny voice.

"i knowww, i know. i'm just teasing you, love," you reassured her, pulling her sweaty body in for another hug.

"you know, maybe you should wear the elbow pads next time. seems like you need them more than i do," jihyo mumbled against your chest.

her comment made you scoff incredulously, "i-" but before you could even formulate a comeback, she opened the car door and forced you into the seat, blocking out whatever you managed to say with ''lalala" and shushes instead.

as she closed the door on you and made her way over to the driver's seat, you sulked into the leather cushion and chuckled at the way the tables turned on you.

turns out you were the one needing the protecting that night.

[reiding-writing]

i LOVE your angsts

you can write something about the reader and spencer being apart after a conflict, being childish and sarcastic towards each other afterwards, and then, one of the cases ends in an explosion and, or, fire in which one of the two is trapped and alone, and the other takes risks to save him

who knows, maybe one of the two in the hospital is still delirious and asking to marry the other? anyway, you choose

basically two idiots in love and proud who can't bear the thought of losing each other

thanks 🥺🫶🏻

commitment [ s.r ]

You love Spencer Reid more than anything in the world, but committing to someone for life was not something to be considered lightly. A life or death situation might speed up the decision process a little.

spencer reid x gn!reader || angst || 4.0k ll masterlist!!

WARNINGS: commitment issues, fire, major character injury, miscommunication, happy ending

a/n: happy 29th of february? is that something to be celebrated? anyway, kinda took this one on a rollercoaster ride, enjoy :)

Spencer Reid wanted a family.

He wanted to get married, have 2.5 kids and live in a house with two cars and a white picket fence.

But he didn’t just want that with anybody, he wanted that with you.

You weren’t sure.

You loved Spencer with your whole heart, you really did, but after your parents’ failed marriage and your negative experiences with romantic relationships in the past, the fact that you’d even been in a committed relationship with Spencer for the last four years was an achievement in itself.

You’d talked about it a few times, but you’d always come to opposite decisions. Spencer wanted to settle down with you, and you were afraid to do so.

Your most recent conversation on the subject ended less as a conversation and more as an argument.

“So you don’t really love me then?” You could see the betrayal in his eyes at you again shutting down the idea, his tone carrying more upsetness than accusation.

“No Spencer of course I love you what are you talking about?” You can feel yourself nearing tears at his question. He was quite literally the person you loved most in the world, and to have him shut down your feelings because you didn’t see eye to eye with him broke your heart.

You spent the next few days staying with Garcia.

You tried to not let your disagreement with Spencer influence your work, but the fact that you wouldn’t so much as spare a glance at each other during office hours tipped off the rest of the team about your situation immediately.

“So,” Morgan leaned his hip against the counter of the kitchenette as you fixed yourself a cup of coffee, neglecting Spencer’s mug on the shelf instead of making both cups at once like you’d usually do.

“So?” You raise an eyebrow at his incomplete sentence.

“What’s going on between you and pretty boy?”

You sigh before he even finishes the question. “It’s nothing for you to worry about,”

“Your lover’s quarrel is ruining the vibes, it is most definitely something for me to worry about,” You roll your eyes at his response. Trust Morgan to find the most unserious way to express his concern for the two of you.

Logically you knew it was because he wanted to tread lightly, but that didn’t make it any less eye-roll inducing.

“So,” He leans forwards a little. “What’s going on? Did you disagree on whether Star Trek or Star Wars was better or something?”

You give him a deadpan stare and he immediately surrenders, raising up his hands as he concedes.

“What else do you have to argue about? You guys are like the most boring couple I know,” Morgan shrugs nonchalantly, and you halt the stirring of your teaspoon in your drink.

Boring? You weren’t boring. Were you? Did Spencer think you were boring? Did he think your relationship was boring? Maybe he only wanted to tie the knot in the hope that it would ‘reignite the spark’ or whatever people said.

“Hey.” Morgan snapped his fingers in front of your face, effectively pulling you out of your internal spiral.

“Hm?”

“I asked if it was serious, Garcia told me you’ve been staying with her the last few days,”

Curse Garcia and Morgan’s no filter relationship.

“Everything’s fine, we both just need time to cool off,”

“You’re sure?”

You have to consciously suppress a sigh at his continued questioning. Morgan was great, but god did he push.

“Yes Morgan, everything’s fine,” You spoke with enough conviction that you managed to convince him of your truth, although whether you believed it yourself was another question.

“Good, because if you two ever broke up I’m pretty sure the whole team would fall apart,” His tone tells you his joking, as does his expression as he leaves you to your coffee, but your brain isn’t as kind as to just let the comment fly over your head, and you’re sent into another spiral as you make your way back over to your desk.

Do the whole team really think of your relationship with Spencer as a vital part of its inner workings? What if it really didn’t work out? What would happen then?

Would the whole team fall into chaos?

You didn’t want to break off your relationship with Spencer. But what if it did happen?

Your thoughts leak into your body language, your shoulders tense as you sit down and your eyes not quite focused on the papers on your desk.

It didn’t help that Spencer sat directly opposite you either. It was like the world was trying to rub your conflict in your face every time you saw his hair in your peripheral vision.

You could feel his eyes boring into the top of your head, but you knew he wouldn’t say anything. It was one of the faults in his character, and yours you suppose, because even if he did ask you what was wrong you’d probably blow him off anyway.

The tension between the two of you was enough for Emily and Morgan to share a glance across the bullpen to each other, although they didn’t have enough time to corner you into asking what was actually going on as Hotch called the team into the conference room.

The silent feud between the two of you continued into the meeting, sitting on opposite ends of the table like you were two negative magnets being forced away from each other by an insurmountable pressure.

It was a little silly you think, to be so removed from each other after a single argument, but when Spencer put his foot down about something, he held his ground under any circumstance.

And so the two of you were destined to lie in a stalemate, sat seething in silent frustration with each other until one of you eventually caved under the pressure.

It wasn’t going to happen.

It was another fault of the two of you. You were both too damn stubborn for your own good, and it was beginning to affect your ability to work together.

You were supposed to be two sides of the same coin. Two gears intertwined and seamlessly rolling off of each other in perfect unison. Instead, you couldn’t even decide on the importance of a half-burned diary found at the scene of the last scene you’d arrived at, the fourth building set ablaze in Fallon in the last five days.

“This guy is clearly dealing with marital struggles, that could be our trigger,”

Of course he had marital struggles, because you couldn’t escape your own issues even when you were two-thousand miles across the country.

“We don’t even know if that diary belongs to our unsub,” You sigh exasperatedly as you slump back in your chair.

“It was a grocery store. Who brings a diary to a grocery store unless it’s something extremely important to them? It has to belong to our unsub.”

“Spencer-”

“You know that I’m more likely to be right about this,”

You can’t help but scoff at his statement, discarding your coffee mug on the round table and causing small brown droplets to coat the surface of the wood from the force. “You’re really pulling the intelligence card? Seriously?”

“Why shouldn’t I?” Spencer shrugs his shoulders with a furrowed expression. “My intelligence is what got me here and it’s telling me that this diary belongs to our unsub,”

“And my experience is telling me that you’re fixating on this goddamn diary instead of looking for things that could be actually useful to finding this guy because you want to feel sorry for yourself by living through his struggles.” You gesture exasperatedly to the book in his hands, becoming increasingly frustrated with Spencer’s attitude towards you.

He might be smart, but you had almost half a decade on him in terms of experience. He had zero right to speak to you like that mid-feud or not.

“You’re angry at me, I get it. Don’t let it cloud your judgement.” You push yourself up from the table with a scowl, leaving your chair pushed out as you exit the station with the door slamming shut behind you.

“You’re sure this is the right place?” Morgan furrows his eyebrows as you approach the house, clearly run-down and looking as though no-one had lived in it in several years.

“I’m sure,” Spencer gave a determined nod as he un-holstered his gun, following the team into the house to sweep it for the suspect.

Despite your argument about the importance of the diary, Spencer had continues to fixate on it completely, leading to a partial name that Garcia had managed to identify and ultimately the house you were now running into.

You feel under-appreciated sometimes. Hotch always ended up going with Spencer’s choices, experience didn’t matter. It was like he had a tattoo across his forehead that read ‘I’m always right’ and everyone else took it as law.

But you’re not going to disobey direct orders, even if you did want to throw all of Spencer’s favourite books into a filled bathtub and watch him mourn over the ruined pages.

“Clear!”

You sweep the house room by room, you, Hotch, and Emily in charge of the ground floor whilst Morgan and Spencer went upstairs.

It was a complete ghost house. There was no electricity, no running water, smashed windows and moulded wallpaper, the furniture looked decades old and above all it just smelled horrific, a mix of leaking waste pipes and faulty gas lines. Were you seriously supposed to believe someone was living here?

“All clear up here,” Morgan emerged at the top of the stairwell with a shrug. “We got nothing,”

“Of course we don’t,” You mutter the words to yourself with a roll of your eyes, silently confirming your own victory at the obvious lack of human presence in the house Spencer was so sure belonged to the unsub.

“Alright, regroup outside,” Hotch called up to the two, gaining a nod from Morgan as he went to retrieve Spencer and bring him down as you exited the building.

“Nothing?” JJ tilted her head slightly as the three of you emerged, met with Emily shaking her head with a slightly awkward expression as she met your gaze.

“Nope, gross, but nothing,”

“Gross is right, it smelled like shit in there-” You clear your throat into your elbow like you’d managed to infest your lungs from the smell.

“Where’s Spence and Morgan?” You shrug your shoulders at JJ’s question heading back to the SUV to grab a bottle of water.

“Knowing Reid he’ll be over-analysing something,” Emily chuckles slightly, patting JJ on the shoulder as she follows you past her. “Morgan’ll get bored soon enough,”

“Are we going or what?” You call out from where you’re leaning against the car, water bottle being waved around in your hand as you gesture your impatience.

“Morgan and Reid are-” Emily stops as she spots Morgan walking out of the front door. “—Reid is still inside,”

“Of course he is,” You grumble to yourself with a roll of your eyes.

“He’s refusing to leave until he’s found something,” Morgan shrugs as he reaches Hotch’s side. “He’s adamant that there’s something to be found in there,”

“God seriously?” You groan out your words as you rejoin the group. “It’s an abandoned shit hole, there’s nothing to be found—”

A loud crash from the house interrupts your complaint.

Loud crashes are never good.

Neither is the bright orange flicker of light you can see through the front door. Definitely not when you’re working an arson case and Spencer Reid is still inside the house.

It’s like all the hours of you pondering how best to make Spencer suffer for his actions completely disappear as soon as the flames are in sight.

You couldn’t be angry at Spencer if he was dead.

The way the wooden beams of the door frame collapsed under the heat really cemented that thought in your mind.

“Spencer—”

Your attempt at running inside is promptly stopped by an outstretched arm that collides against your waist, winding you slightly and causing your expression to turn from fear to anger at the person who’d interrupted your attempt to vacate Spencer from the building.

“What are you doing?!” You push Morgan’s arm away from you harshly as you attempt to bypass him, but you don’t even get two steps forward before his arm is again blocking you from running into the burning building. “Get off me!”

“You can’t just run into a fire-” You continue to struggle against Morgan’s grip as he pleads his case to you, causing his voice to strain from the exertion of trying to keep you in one place.

“Morgan if you don’t let me go right now I swear to god-” Morgan withstands your threats with his strength, and you’re becoming increasingly resentful at just how much effort he’d gone through to stay physically fit.

“The fire department are on their way-” JJ’s voice is soaked in concern as she speaks, both hands clenched tightly around her phone as she stares into the open door of the house and the yellow-orange light that is quickly enveloping anything visible inside it. “They’re four minutes out,”

“Four minutes isn’t fast enough-”

“Hey-” Morgan continues to struggle against your writhing, planting both of his hands firmly against your shoulders and shaking them slightly in attempt to get your attention. “He’s going to be fine.” The uncertainty in his gaze tells you the opposite.

By the time you hear the sirens of fire engines rounding the street-corner, you don’t have the mental energy to feel relieved. All you can do is stare into the raging inferno that encapsulates the entire ground floor of the house and pray desperately that it didn’t manage to climb up the stairs. You know you’re being too optimistic.

You barely compute the obvious when a stretcher is prepared in front of the entrance, only coming to when you hear a worried gasp emanate from Emily at your side as Spencer is laid down on it after being recovered from the house’s master bedroom, very clearly unconscious and less clearly still breathing.

“Breathing is shallow, pulse is weak, we need to get him on oxygen,” The EMTs converse between themselves as they rush the stretcher into the fire ambulance, leaving you and your team to stand idly on the sidelines as both the fire and Spencer are taken care of by the firefighters on the scene.

You pace the waiting room on your heels, the sharp contact of your feet on the marbled floor leaving small shock waves to shoot up your legs as you walk. You couldn’t just sit down, you weren’t going to relax in a chair whilst the love of your life was possibly dying of asphyxiation. You were worried, terrified, and you had to release that nervous energy somehow.

If Spencer was here right now you’re sure he’d reprimand you for your nervous habit, rattling on about how heel-striking is dangerous for the health of your legs as it compresses your entire weight into a single point that can have bad impacts on your bones. Thinking about it just makes you feel worse, making you pace more and ultimately creating a self-fulfilling cycle where the more you thought about what he’d say the worse your actions would get.

At least you were actually in the hospital waiting and not back in the station waiting for a call. God knows you’d be more of a burden to the rest of the team than a help right now.

“Visitors for… Spencer Reid?” The nurse checks the clipboard in her hands as she speaks, and the second you hear the first syllable of his name you’re diverting your pacing to walk straight up to the nurse’s side.

“He’s awake but dreary, and he’s refusing any medication to help with the pain in his esophagus,” The nurse explains his conditions to you as she leads you down the hallway, shrugging her shoulders slightly at the mention of his refusal of pain medication.

“He can’t take narcotics, do you have any substitutes? NSAIDs?”

The nurse nods slightly at your explanation, checking her clipboard once more as she stops you at a wooden door. “I’ll have a look and see what I can find,”

“Thank you,” You give her a small nod and a smile as she leaves you at the door, suddenly even more nervous than you were in the waiting room. Not only was Spencer now in recovery for smoke inhalation and minor burns, the last ‘conversation’ the two of you had was an argument. A stupid, petty argument because you were both stubborn assholes who couldn’t agree to disagree on anything.

What if he didn’t want to see you? You were probably the last person he wanted at his bedside right now after everything that’d happened. Maybe you shouldn’t go in and see him.

Your hand is already opening the door. Okay, well, too late to second guess things now.

“Hey Spencer…” Your voice is barely a whisper as you enter the room, door shutting seamlessly behind you as you walk towards his hospital bed, fingers ringing together as a work around to release all of the nervous tension in your body without bursting into tears. “How are you feeling?”

“Like I ate a campfire-”

His words are enough to break the small tension between you, and you laugh softly in a mix of relief and worry. At least he was alright enough to be able to speak properly. The burn on his arm looked pretty bad though.

“You look like you ate a campfire,” You approach his hospital bed slowly, taking a seat on the plastic chair at his side and gazing over him with an entirely pitiful look in your eyes.

“I’m okay…” It was like he could read your mind, then again your sure that most people would be able to see how distraught you were right now, but Spencer was always the first to notice, and he languishly reached his hand out to rest against your knee.

You started crying the minute his fingers made contact with your slacks.

“I’m so sorry-” It felt a little silly to be crying in front of someone who’d just been trapped in a burning building and was probably experiencing an insane amount of pain from the lack of medication, but emotions don’t always follow logical boundaries. “I’ve been so- horrible to you and you didn’t deserve it at all-”

You’re sure you look like an absolute mess by now, tears staining your cheeks from your crying, a blotchy complexion from your stress, wrinkled clothes and ruined hair from constantly messing with them to try and find a release for all of your anxiety, but the way Spencer looks at you would have you assuming you’d stepped right off a runway.

“You don’t have anything to apologise for,”

“But-”

“Nothing.” Spencer shakes his head to the best of his ability as he shuts down your rebuttal, and he shifts his hand upwards to lie over your two hands clasped in your lap. “I shouldn’t have tried to pressure you into something that you’re not ready for, that was my fault, and for that I’m the one who needs to be saying sorry,”

“No I get it-”

“I made you uncomfortable and upset and that was never my intention,” Spencer continues to cut off your attempts to speak, something he’d usually rather die than do to you - or anyone for that matter - but deemed a necessity to stop you from lumping all of the blame on yourself when you had done nothing more than establish a boundary. A boundary that Spencer didn’t respect.

“I love you, and I want to spend every waking hour I have in your presence, I want to sleep with you in my arms and wake with you by my side. I want to experience every up and down with you and keep you safe and loved at every instance,” Spencer gives your hand a small squeeze as he looks at you, your reflection in his eyes one of pure beauty and perfection. “I didn’t do that for you in our last disagreement, and I can only hope that you’ll forgive me and allow me to make up for that moving forward,”

Spencer’s fingers ghost over the back of your hand, pressing small circles into the dips between your fingers and gently massaging your skin. “I want to do nothing more than love you, and a piece of paper and a pair of rings won’t change that either way.”

You swear that you melt with every word that leaves the boy’s mouth, and if he wasn’t currently hospital bound you’d smother his face in kisses until he couldn’t breathe anymore.

In respect for his condition you turn you affections to his hand instead, holding it up to your face and pressing deft kisses against the curve of each of his knuckles, silent tears still sliding down your cheeks. Tears of a different trajectory this time, filled no longer with guilt and frustration and instead replaced with the realisation of just how much you mean to Spencer Reid.

“I love you so much,” Your lips brush the back of his hand as you speak, his fingers dampening with the lingering moisture of your tears as you hold his hand like it’s the only thing anchoring you to the earth. “So much.”

The smile that breaks out on Spencer’s face could cure any ailment in your mind within seconds. “I love you too,”

[signedaiko]

Hey Aiko! Thanks for the HCs from the last request, I really enjoyed reading every word of them.

You know those math equations where they spell “I Love You” as the final answers?

Could I request HCs of [MTMTE/LL] Perceptor where Cybertronian![Reader] [Gender Neutral] has a huge crush on him and pretends to ask for his help with some equations when they’re actually confessing their love to him through the complicated numbers and symbols?

Happy Ending: He likes them back.

Perceptor X Reader [MTMTE]

In which Perceptor's lab assistant confesses in the numeric language they both work with.

Reader is: Gender Neutral | Cybertronian | Autobot. Romantic.

The science wing aboard the Lost Light had become your home the last couple of months

More specifically, Perceptor's lab, where you'd been handpicked by the scientist to assist him with research

It was a dream come true! I mean, whatever the quest the ship was on was, it was fun and all, but having read every last one of Perceptor's research papers and lab reports, it felt wrong to be the one picked to help

He was Cybertron's genius, the best of the best, and he wasn't weird about it either

Most days you'd stand in the lab, comparing and accumulating data relevant to his research, taking care of any specimen, and cleaning

Most commonly, you were tasked with chemical waste disposal; each chemical was different, and each process was longer than the last

Today, however, Perceptor tasked you with sorting through the 'other' portfolio of research data

It was a list of all kinds of extras that were never finished, tasks galore.

It was also the perfect opportunity for you to work closely with him, since he was helping you comb through it

"What about the anti-anti-matter gun?"

"Anything with the word 'gun' is just Brainstorm trying to get me to do his projects for him. Dispose of it."

While he handled the physical box of 'other' projects, you were sifting through the online database

Thankfully your job was easier because you'd been so distracted watching him across from you and mulling over your plan that you wouldn't get anywhere otherwise

Truthfully, you'd long since sorted through everything using a quick sorting algorithm, but you'd been pretending to keep busy as you contemplated the pros and cons of confessing to Perceptor

He was your boss; if he didn't feel the same, it'd be awkward working with him every day

But your work performance was dropping with all the time you spent staring at him and daydreaming of your lives together

"Sorry, Perceptor, one last question. What is this?"

It was an entry with one equation: 9x - 7i > 3(3x - 7u)

"Don't know; you can note what it solves and delete the main file."

"But what are we solving for?"

Your bait worked, and the scientist stood up to walk behind you, leaning over your chair to get a better glimpse

"Nothing, you're supposed to fill in for 'i' and 'u,' but you can simplify it."

He leaned further in to point at the brackets

"Multiply everything in there by three. Yes, just like that. So now we have 9x - 7i > 9x - 21u."

As funny as it was that he thought you couldn't calculate it on your own, you let him continue

"9x is then cancelled out on both sides, leaving you with -7i > -21u. just divide by three and then..."

"i <3 u"

"Yes, exactly, that's as simplified as you can get it until you identify 'i' and 'u'"

Your smile faltered, realizing he may have still not understood what it said

God, how could you have expected this to work?

"Thanks, Perc—"

"For example, you could substitute 'i' for 'Perceptor' and 'u' for you. Come on now, don't act like I couldn't figure out your game. You think so little of my intellect?"

When you turned to look at him, you realized he was looking at you rather than the screen, a cocky smile sprawled across his face

"I swear I don't; I was just—"

"Just what? Thinking I thought you couldn't solve simple operations? Thinking I would have 'forgotten' such a small equation in my data banks?"

You hid your face behind your hands to try and hide the blush, but Perceptor was already chuckling and pulling you up from where you sat

"Well, if it means anything..."

He reached to the keyboard, adding an extra character

'i <3 u 2'

Author's Note - I love this guy. What a fella, what an enjoyable cocky fella!!!! Thank you for requesting!

[tojiscrack]

wherever you are right now, good morning/evening/night… that was a mouthful, but i’m not sure how else to start this.

it sounds serious, i know, it’s not, don’t worry, but i like being dramatic, haha, you know me ;) i have a small announcement to make — i say ‘small’ ‘cause it really can be done in one or two short sentences, but i’d like to give you some context and reasoning because i care about every single one of you reading this, all 470 of you, and i’d hate to leave you without an explanation.

i’m mainly addressing my LL (liar, liar) readers, ‘cause i seem to have a big following and a large number of people who interact with me because of that piece of work, but this also goes out to the very few people (and i’m not being dramatic when i say very few people, lol) who are loyal readers of SOANO (start of a new obsession).

i am going on hiatus.

yeah, i know, boo, tomatoes, the story was just getting started 😠 , etc, etc.

and i apologise.

genuinely, from the bottom of my heart, i’m truly, deeply sorry.

you’ve been forced to tolerate my extremely sporadic updates that were only just starting to get better (some updates would come weekly, whereas others would take two more weeks, but never an entire month like before). i really am sorry. i know what it feels like to enjoy a story and then be left on a cliffhanger (of sorts?) when the author goes on a hiatus — mini or not.

i think this long message will answer most of the questions you have in mind, the first being ‘how long will you be on hiatus for?’. and i do have a straight answer for that:

five months.

i know, it’s a lot. again, i apologise. i can’t apologise enough, but let’s keep the questions going.

the one i know you’re all wondering — why am i going on hiatus in the first place?

just to be clear (for those of you who have genuinely become close friends with me through interactions) i’m alive, healthy, and well! i’m not falling out of love with writing, i’ve not fallen out of love with LL or SOANO (no matter how slow the updates for the latter seems to be) and i’m not feeling pressured by writing either of these stories for you all!

the reason is quite simple… school :/ exams. MAJOR ones.

when i started writing SOANO, i was around 15 years old (give or take a few?) and i had no major exams at all to focus on. halfway through writing SOANO, i was met with my first set of important exams at 16. for those of you who are not british and/or not aware of the uk education system, GCSE’s are the exams that dictate which sixth-form college you go to. college, as in, not university-college, but the last two years of high school (junior + senior year) that are the only two years of sixthform/college.

when i started writing LL, i was in my first year of college at 17 (this time last year), and so the only ‘major’ exams i had were mock exams that would prep me for my university predicted-grades. i am now in my second (and final) year of college, and the exams during may and june will dictate the rest of my life. that includes which uni i go to, whether i’ll even go to uni at all, what course i’ll take at uni if i do end up going, etc.

you get the idea. these are important exams. the most important ones that i’ll ever have to sit this year, and starting tomorrow, i have 130 days to turn my very-average-grades around to three A’s (or perhaps two A’s and a B) to get into my desired uni.

unfortunately, i can’t do that if i spend most of my time writing up very lengthy chapters for you.

why can’t i split my time accordingly, even if it means going back to the once-a-month updates? because i am so incredibly, stupidly behind on content for the courses i’m taking right now that i can’t even afford to waste 30 minutes on doing anything other than praying and studying. that’s just the sad truth of it.

again, i’d like to apologise for the inconvenience. i’ve received so many lovely dm’s from so many of you (and i answer every single one, you know that) and in the conversations that many of us have had together, a lot of you use the story (LL) as a safe haven, an escape from your own messy school lives, almost in the same way that i use it to escape my messy school life. some of you have mentioned that you pull all-nighters simply to reread it all as if you’re reading it for the first time. a few of you have mentioned how this story was an escape from the tragic events of canon, which was exactly what i intended for it to be like during the planning process, and i’m still so overwhelmed and flattered by the growing love i’ve received from both old and new LL readers.

will the story be temporarily taken down?

absolutely not.

i considered it for a time, but after acknowledging those comments i mentioned above, i decided that what’s left of LL right now (170k+ words divided in 10 chapters) can still be a safe haven for you whenever you need it. i also knew that i wanted everything to look the same for when i’d return in late-june of this year. leaving it up would also mean that newer readers (future readers) would join the family too, and we love a full house ;)

will i still be active on tumblr during the hiatus?

yes! maybe not as frequently as before (like answering messages in my inbox every day) but i’ll definitely be active enough to get through any messages, comments, asks, etc, within the span of a week for sure. you can still tell me about your shitty day in my inbox, you can still vent to me about an encounter with a guy you hate in my dm’s, and you can definitely still send in silly things about LL or SOANO. i’ll still be active, it’ll be like i never left, only, without the fortnite-ly (not a word, i’m well aware) updates.

LL’s one year anniversary is coming up in a couple of days, and i wanted to release a new chapter in time for it, but looking at my exams and how much cramming i’m already going to have to do for it without writing on top of that… i reluctantly acknowledged that it just won’t be possible.

i think i’ve addressed everything… this is a little awkward now, lol.

once again, i apologise for any hurt or inconveniences i might’ve caused, but i myself don’t enjoy the idea of not writing for 5 months any better than you probably do. 0-0 i enjoy writing, it never felt like a chore to me, and i’m going to miss it during the next 5 months that i’ll be spending alone, grinding overtime like hermione granger…

please wait for me, my little liars <3

love, mother hen sumaya

[cozzzynook]

Hiii cozzzyyyy

What do we think about Rodimus adopting a lil human in secret on the LL, but Drift discovers it and tells Ratchet? And all three o them just look blankly at the human (that doesn't understand what's going on ofc ofc)?

Thank uuu <3

Hi Bee,

Hear me out.

The human he brings aboard the lost light that doesn’t know whats going on is actually cyberronian and a baby.

The found them crying next to their offline creators and couldn’t just leave them there. He was going to tell police officials but when he picked the fresh bitty up and they stopped crying. Reaching out and gripping his chassis and digit whimpering for him, he just couldn’t bare to part with them.

Sooo he snuck them on board and let the ship take off.

Of course he told officials about the bitty’s creators and told Prowl in secret what he’d done and that he wasn’t giving the bitty up. Prowl can honestly say he’s never actually heard Rodimus sound threatening and he admired it before putting official documents in stating Rodimus was the sparklings caregiver now before sending them to him and hanging up.

Rodimus was entirely pleased with himself and more than happy to get started on bathing the dirty bitty that wasn’t old enough to have plating on their exposed protoform. He learned the bitty was a little mecha and so as he had them wrapped in a soft warmer against his chassis he had to figure out a name and get a bitty berth installed.

He wasn’t entirely out of his league here since he used to caretake for orphanages on Nyon. He knew what sparklings needed and their development. So he knew this was a fresh spark that wouldn’t be able to be away from him for a long time since the connection with his creators was severed so early in life.

Of course..in all his plannings he forgot to tell his crew and co captain…who just so happened to walk into his hab with Minimus and stare at the sparkling with open jaws and he immediately had to explain the situation.

“So you weren’t carrying this whole time and popped out a sparkling on a dangerous mission?”

“No I’m not an idiot!”

He looked extremely offended and felt it too which upset the sparkling almost pulling them from recharge if it weren’t for him calming them down.

“I got the paperwork and everything. I got attached…don’t look at me like that Mins! I’m not popping out a sparkling!”

The smug look on the mini turbo fox face plates and his co captains was pissing him off.

Just because he was a carrier mech did not mean he would go following his coding and pop out bitlets.

He was destined for greater things than being a broodmare! He said as much too.

“Rodimus its not meant like that. Carriers just-”

“I don’t wanna hear it,” he was genuinely upset but trying not to take it out on them since they didn’t do anything wrong. He was just sensitive about his coding and frame.

“I’d like some time off from being in public to get a better bond with them and get all the supplies I need. I’ll do all my paperwork here. I’ll keep my comm open as well.”

He ushered them out after letting Minimus hold his sparkling who began to fuss but didn’t cry.

“Lets get you some panel wraps and bottles annndd I’m gonna need to find you a crib…and a name.”

The bitty just kept sucking on their hand and he was off to find such things in the storage rooms while the dead shift was at its quietest time.

He managed to luck out on getting multiple blankets and an abundance of reusable panel wrappers. He’d brought those things back to his hab and set them on a gentle wash in his cleaning closet before heading back out to find a crib and clothes and some bottles.

He was yet again lucky in his search. Finding bottles, clothes and even a few pacifiers along with a stuffed fox that looked suspiciously like Minimus handy work made him smile. He’d have to thank his friend for leaving this here for him.

He was bummed he couldn’t find a crib but he had everything else he needed and he decided to enjoy the win. He’d gotten everything clean and settled when the bitty began to fuss and he knew immediately what time it was.

“I’m gonna fix a bottle. I know, I know. You’re hungry its okay,” he soothed to the upset sparkling.

He felt his chassis growing tight and he groaned looking down at the shifted plating to the still unfinished diluted energon meant for sparklings. He wasn’t about to make his sparkling wait an hour for fuel that wouldn’t be half as good as what his frame decided to make against his wishes.

So with a final groan and a hope for his luck to continue and his sparkling not getting attached to this form of feeding, he unclasped his chassis and let his breast mesh free. They were already filling with milk and he grimaced at how natural it all felt.

He didn’t like being a carrier but he wasn’t going to let that get in the way of feeding his sparkling.

With that line running through his mind, he held his sparkling up to his nozzle and allowed them to turn their helm crying until eventually they smelled him and the energon his frame was building before opening teary optics and latching on.

The first few suckles felt weird but eventually he felt the milk begin to release and his sparkling was greedily suckling blinking the tears from their optics.

Rodimus didn’t want to admit how close and connected he felt to the fresh bitty letting them drink from him.

He’d always had a problem with being a carrier and few mechs knew that he was and all that did knew by accident. It was something he liked pretending he wasn’t but that was extremely hard to do when a bitty was nursing from his mesh.

He sighed and looked to the bottles on the drying rack and figured he might as well try organizing his hab and bitty proofing it.

By the time he was done, the bitty was finished nursing and he was burping them. They’d fallen to recharge immediately and he smiled looking down at them. They were tiny, even for a new sparkling they were tiny. He was going to comm First aid to come to his hab in the morning so he could get them fully examined.

Carrier instincts would’ve alerted him if something was wrong with a sparkling even if they weren’t his own. But he wanted to be completely sure.

He laid the sparkling on his lap and began squeezing the rest of his milk into a bottle.

He’d have to find a crib and milk pump the next time he went to the storage rooms.

He stood and held the sparkling to his breast mesh that was still too tender to close his chassis over. He really hoped his bitty would take a bottle and not his nozzles and that his milk could be turned off when he called First aid.

He laid in his berth, nest fresh courtesy of Ratchet and Drift who were on took an extra, with a servo on the bitty thinking of possible names when he felt his optics almost slip closed until panic gripped him.

“Frag I didn’t tell them I adopted a bitty…”

Recharge was not exactly restful due to his nerves and waking a few hours later to the bitty whimpering wanting milk was something that stole his attention from Drift and Ratchets reactions.

He’d tried getting the bitty to take the sparkling fuel he’d put on earlier but the bitty hollered energon murder and he sighed lowering his helmet trying to suppress tears.

He’d lowered them to his nozzle and they immediately gripped on. He looked to the warm energon bottle and picked it up slipping it into the bitties mouth only for them to spit it out and spit up the milk.

It took over ten minutes to calm them down before deciding never to do that again and just accept he would have to feed from his nozzles.

The bitty gave a little glare at him with blue optics that looked so much like Drift and Ratchets when he did something to endanger himself he smiled a little making the bitty giggle.

It was spark warming and asserted that he made the right decision in keeping them.

“Your gonna be trouble aren’t ya lil mecha,” he cooed, cleaning himself and the bitty while allowing them to drink. He’d put the sparkling energon by the door and thought of how he was going to tell Drift and Ratchet.

He went through the motions of burping the bitty and soothing them to sleep before starting on paperwork. By the time he finished he leaned back in his chair and looked down at his breast mesh and the bitty sleeping on them.

He maneuvered the bitty and tried to put his breasts back into his chassis only to wince and hiss in pain.

‘That won’t work. Damnit. I’ll have to get a new chassis supporter.’

He looked down at the bitty and couldn’t find it in himself to blame them or really be upset. He was still pushing off the mental breakdown at succumbing to his carrier protocols. But looking down at the bitty he found it a tad easier.

Things didn’t feel so bad…until he heard the hab door open.

He stiffened in his seat and slowly turned his helm to see Drift and Ratchet staring at him and their hab.

He tried to smile but it came off wobbly and afraid and the sparkling made a whimpering noise that pulled his attention.

He shushed them gently with a small bounce and they nuzzled into him.

He looked back up to see the spot by the door empty with Drift and Ratchet right in front of Rodimus staring shocked at the fresh bitty in his arms recharging on swollen exposed breast mesh.

“Hehe. Surprise? Funny story here.”

“Roddy were you sparked and didn’t know it?! Did you emerge our sparkling on a mission?!”

Drift was seething with a myraid of emotions but not one was anger. He was thankfully whispering as he did so and was visibly checking him over before getting closer only to stop so Ratchet could begin scanning the sparkling and Rodimus.

“No I wasn’t sparked! And no I didn’t emerge a bitty! They don’t even look like us!”

He whispered venomously before pausing. They all stopped for a moment before Rodimus apologized.

“I’m not getting sparked. Ever,” he spoke, looking them in the optic before motioning for Ratchet to keep working.

The mech gave him a look he didn’t want to see so he turned his helm and let Ratchet work.

“The sparkling is fine,” he stood, looking at the fresh sparkling still sleeping on Rodimus who had an arm covering his nozzles.

He refused to move it because he didn’t want them seeing.

He knew they knew. They had since before they got together. He’d blown up almost saying some really nasty things when they revealed to him they knew by his scent, nest, clingy behavior he thought he shut down and the way he’d act around sparklings. Of course having this revealed made him all but destroy his carrying instincts and reject anything remotely like it.

It hurt. Physically and mentally to do so but he did it anyway and rejected any advice on not doing it. Of course he took it a step further and took preventative pills that kept him from going into heat and added an extra spark baffle. He really hated being a carrier and how it made him look to other mechs and femmes. He was not weak. He was not some birthing machine and he was not going to degrade himself by popping out sparklings and prove them all right. He was more than a carrier mech. He was a living being. He wouldn’t succumb to code.

Of course doing all this and having no heat put him in danger and made him sick but he truly would rather get sick than suffer another heat and possibly get sparked.

It took passing out after throwing up energon for his own medical right to be snatched away. He was taken off heat suppressants and his spark baffles were removed leaving him with just one.

He’d rode out his heat painfully by himself and left the medical center before they could try talking him into something he didn’t want. He ignored his teammates outside of battle planning for a long time. He ignored Ratchet and Drift, at the time Deadlock, for even longer since they just didn’t get it.

As much as he butted helms with Optimus the mech understood but still didn’t want him endangering his life. The only medic he really trusted was First Aid who admitted he didn’t understand but tried to give him the best option instead of getting snippy with him or pushing carrier scrap at him.

He’s pulled out of his thoughts when he feels Ratchet put a servo on his breast mesh and feel around it. He knows he isn’t being a perv but he still hates it. He’d never exposed his breast mesh to them before and hadn’t ever planned to.

“Well?”

He was getting more impatient and uncomfortable by the moment and Ratchet gave him a look that he returned with the beginnings of a snarl that he restrained.

“Milk won’t stop till the kid doesn’t need it anymore. You’ll need a new chassis plating. I’ll get to working on one-”

“I’ll have First aid make me one. Its fine. You both should rest. I’ll explain everything when you wake up.”

He was standing before either could get a word in. Was it fair? Not at all. But he really didn’t want this conversation nor the carrier slag they’d throw his way.

“Kid, get back here. This is a conversation we’re having now.”

He glared but didn’t go any further.

“I didn’t purposely attach the sparkling. It just..happened. I saw them crying near their creators when I went down to the lab. They were already gone and gray.”

“I wasn’t even thinking when I took them and decided to keep them. I’m sorry I didn’t ask first or tell you. You don’t have to care for them, I can do that on my own.”

He’d done it with sparklings at the centers and they’d recovered until they found a proper home during the war. So he knew he could.

“I’m not asking either of you to do anything and if they are a crying sparkling I’m going back to my hab.”

“Rodimus!”

Drift had yelled his name a little too loud to stop him from spiraling and putting distance between them. The mech was holding his arms on both sides and he wasn’t aware he’d been venting hard.

“Stop,” Drift vented hard, looking at him with his finials back and fangs poking out.

“You’re not going to your old hab. You’re staying here with us, where you belong,” Drift told him. “We’re not angry and we don’t blame you for getting attached. We just..”

“We’re surprised kid. Shocked really,” Ratchet came close and he felt crowded. The sparkling was picking up on his emotions and while that made him happy because it meant a bond was in place, he didn’t want them exposed to painful emotions or his cluster of feelings so he vented and bounced them. Keeping his gaze on the sparkling, trying not to notice how their gazes stuck to him and the longing in their optics, he started speaking again.

“I have the papers that say he’s mine already..Megs and Minimus know already because they came by unannounced.”

“Only yours?”

Ratchet was the one to ask and he felt bad that he didn’t think they’d want their names on the papers as well.

“I didn’t think you’d want your names on it. I didn’t think about anything other than your reactions honestly and I wasn’t fair in those thoughts either. I’m sorry.”

He owed it to them to at least get their frustrations out so he looked them in the optics expecting glares only to feel sadness and that was so much worst.

“Roddy…we aren’t..give us the papers.”

He went over to his desk and situated the sparkling while covering his nozzles and pulled the papers out handing them over.

They both signed it.

And he was both relieved and guilt ridden.

Both wanted a sparkling and were even partners with a mech who could carry by tank and yet…

“Why isn’t his name on here?”

“I couldn’t think of one…so I guess..as his sires, you can name him. If you want.”

They looked at him as if he’d revealed the secrets of Cybertron and he might as well have. Naming was a huge deal in their culture and for a carrier to completely allow the sires full handle of it meant a lot.

He looked down at the sparkling and stood beside them, “here, hold him.”

It was Ratchet who gently took the sparkling which made the bitty wake up looking confused. Their optics nor senses were actually developed but they could tell the difference between stranger, carrier and sire. They could smell that he was near but couldn’t feel him. And yet the sparkling didn’t cry which was a good sign. They did sneeze and Ratchet melted at the sight with Drift not far behind and he hadn’t even held the bitty yet.

It made Rodimus smile but the guilt ate away at him.

Truth be told, he really did want sparklings, but he hated the stereotypes, prejudice and weakness being a carrier brought on. He never wanted to be weak or seen as weak and he hated how he would be viewed if he were to get sparked. So he denied and rejected it and in the process, he denied himself and his partners something they all wanted. Its one of the reasons he wasn’t conjunxed with them while the two were. It was usually a guarantee a carrier would get sparked once they conjunxed. His fears greatly outweighed the speak of what if he still felt.

He was also certain they would one day tire of him and leave when they realized they could do better.

‘I sprung a bitty on them that isn’t even ours by emergence and they still want me,’ he let a few tears fall silently. ‘I’ve been unfair to them…’

He watched as Ratchet gave the bitty to Drift and how the mech melted completely with tears in his optics. Their bitty still didn’t cry which was also a very good sign he felt a connection to the two. He quietly bent down and grabbed a blanket to cover his exposed nozzles. He should let Ratchet make him a new chassis cover.

The feelings were overwhelming and he felt less of a warrior and solider and more the code he tried to reject for millions of years.

He..hated the vulnerability still and tried to quietly shift into the other room for a moment to gather himself but the two held him on both sides of his arms.

“What? Is he hungry?”

He didn’t want to make optic contact and tried to play off his sniffle until Ratchet pulled him in. He tried to move back but neither mechs allowed it.

“Kid..for once..don’t fight it..it doesn’t make you any less and it’s not a bad thing. Just for now..let it out..don’t reject it. Don’t reject us.”

The dam burst and he was sobbing with his intake covered by his servos to keep from being too loud. He kept his face plates hidden and felt Drift hug his back with their sparkling secure in his hold. Their arms tightened around him. He felt all the things he never allowed himself.

Safe. Vulnerable. Secure. Open. Tender. Exposed and held together as he mended himself whole with their comfort.

It felt as good as it hurt and by the end of his tears he felt raw and their nest had never felt so good to slip inside. He felt Drift and Ratchet pressed on both sides of him after giving him their sparkling when he whined for him.

Their sparkling nuzzled into him and made cooing noises, trying to fight their sleep but Drift wouldn’t let them. His humming was infectious and it was hard for him to stay awake but the plating that remained on his upper frame left him so uncomfortable. He knew what that meant but he wasn’t sure he could handle accepting it.

“It’s okay, Roddy,” Drift whispered in his audial, slowly taking the locks off his tank and back strut plating with Rstchets help. He felt pure relief at the metal being removed allowing his belly and wide hips room to breathe.

Accepting the sparkling as his own, his frame producing milk and allowing his emotions freedom in the presence of his partners triggered his body to go into a pseudo heat that was brought on from denying his code all these years.

“Let us take care of you,” Ratchet kissed along his neck cables, servos rubbing the chub along his belly, sending butterflies bursting within him at the love and comfort freely given.

Drift rubbed his palms along his hips and bit into his neck, hands making their way up to his sensitive breasts where he tensed and Ratchet cooed at him, reassuring him as he too cupped Rodimus breast. Both slipping the blanket free and wrapping the sparkling inside it.

The bitty inhaled the pheromones in the air and began to fall into recharge. What smelled of heat to adult mechs smelled of sleep pheromones to sparklings.

They placed the bitty on the edge of the nest yet still within close servo and optic contact.

Laid out bare for them to see, Rodimus tried to cover his nozzles but the two stopped him. Both Drift and Ratchet pressed a kiss to his nozzles before licking the dark milk duct and kissing the tender mesh again.

They enjoyed the way they bounced heavily and how his belly followed suit.

“You make an amazing person and carrier, sweet spark,” it was Ratchet who always spoke sweet words while taking them apart in berth. The medic popped his panels open and let his spike free, Drift followed pressing kisses to Rodimus’s belly, servo rubbing the chub as he worshipped it with kisses making Rodimus array snap open and lock.

Drift placed a kiss on his soaking valve before moving to let Ratchet do the same.

“You’ll look even more beautiful growing, swelling full with our sparkling. You already look so beautiful caring for our first one,” Drift soothed into his audial. They both were lining up to meet at the entrance of his valve, both their spike heads bobbing together before slowly slipping inside.

They all groaned together in unison until Drift and Ratchet nipped at his nozzles pulling them. Their servos resting interlocked over his belly as they rubbed the soft flesh stimulating his nerves. Bobbing their throats to a wave beat as they drank from him while fully sheathing their spikes deep inside him.

They left him a silent screaming, back arched mess that could do nothing more than cry and whisper his begging for their soft loving touches that left him exposed emotionally and a soaking, valve squelching mess that tried to cycle and lock down on their raw spikes that were struggling to keep from bursting inside him.

He felt their grip on his belly tighten and they rubbed his flesh as if he were already accepting their loads for a new spark when he felt their chassis open and his spark thrum to life.

Three different hues of blue made the dark room glow. Spike and valve bio lights pulsed and grew vibrant while Drift and Ratchet lifted themselves to hover and look down at Rodimus who looked up at them.

“We aren’t letting you go, Roddy. Not now, not if we never got to conjunx and spark you,” he leaned down, kissing the sobbing mech who gazed up at him before Ratchet leaned down capturing plump lips that quivered at his bite. “But now that we have, no more running and hiding from us. We love you Rodimus and we know you love us too.”

Rodimus sobbed even harder.

Feeling their sparks glow and leave their chambers to meet between them and merge making them all conjunx and completing the connection.

They overloaded together, squeezing each other, Rodimus’s valve clamping down on their spikes that buried within his soft tank lining spilling into him. Their sparks dancing getting lost in each other until none could be distinguished and they all held a large piece of each other once their sparks returned to them.

Rodimus was enternally grateful to have Drift and Ratchets servos in his belly as he felt the flesh stretch and grow heavy at all the transfluid that sloshed and flowed inside him. He felt his valve and cheeks grow hot all over again and he moaned, rocking into them.

“Please,” he cried, feeling them rub his distended belly full of transfluid, valve throbbing hot as his tank wanted more. “Please,” he begged again, seeing the two smirk.

“We’ll give you everything you want and need, sweet spark,” his medic promised.

“We just hope you don’t mind carrying two or three by the time we’re done with you.”

“Although, it’d be nice to see you so round and full of three while feeding our first,” Ratchet chuckled.

“Maybe we aim for three next time?” Drift kissed along Rodimus’s face, nuzzling into his olfactory sensor when the mech needed the reassurance and care.

“We can discuss that later. For now,” Ratchet pulled Rodimus close, washing his em field over the mech who needed their affection they were more than happy to give, “lets focus on mending him. He needs our love first, we can think on that later.”

With a nod from Drift and a quick check on their sleeping sparkling, they made love to their conjunx.

-

My mind…went elsewhere..anyway if anyone wants to tip me the link to my kofi is on my pinned post.

[causenessus]

love notes

part 0.05. intros

EXHIBIT TWO: RIDE OR DIE BROS FOR LIFE

suna rintarou °❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

middle blocker for the msby volleyball team and wanted to major in something art related but ended up going into athletic training with sakusa. in high school, atsumu, osamu, and him would very frequently sneak out at night usually to graffiti a wall and atsumu and him have kept up the tradition. whenever they travel to other cities to play an away game, they’ll try and find the time to go out and leave their mark on the city. in college, he started to do things like leave little snippets of lyrics from romantic songs on walls in sharpie or spray paint </3 he first met y/n in high school and they didn't talk much despite being in the same friend group. he a her from afar but never said anything because he didn’t feel like she knew him well enough that she would return his feelings if he told her. as a result, ever since graduation, he’s been finding small ways to be closer to her. although he isn’t majoring in art, he started to hang around the art department more, and would follow her around whenever she came to develop photos. she’d let him come with her into the department’s dark room and explain the process to him. he tries his best to listen but most of the time he get distracted while looking at her <3 eventually he started to invite her to come wander the city with him in search of street art and told her he’d start sending her photos of art that he found in other cities (which he's totally not making and then sending to her as if he's just randomly stumbled upon the most heartwrenching, romantic art ever). as long as he’s with her he couldn't care less what they're doing; to him, the real artwork is right next to him <3 she’s taking photos of something written on a wall while he’s looking at her <3

miya atsumu & miya osamu °❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

atsumu

setter for msby <3 made his bio in retaliation to his brother and then got upset when osamu didn’t care. didn’t even want to go to college but really wanted to play for msby and didn’t want to be left out of everyone else going to school so he’s chilling in communications with bokuto. loves to come to onigiri miya on days y/n works because she gives him discounts and he jokes that she’s a better cook than osamu (which psychologically, for him, is probably true. samu cooks for tsumu and curses the food while y/n tries to put at least a little bit of love into what she makes for him). at some point tried to flirt with y/n and then realized she did not love when he visited because of him but bc he would bring suna. often comes by himself to onigiri miya or brings bokuto with him to ask yn how things with suna, completely ignoring the fact that she has a boyfriend (which leaves her confused about every single life choice she's made) and then will immediately text suna being like “y/n and me are talking about u rn LL sucks to suck i bet ur wondering what she thinks of u"

osamu

always gives suna discounts when he comes and will immediately take over whatever order y/n is working on so that she can make suna’s foof <3 he’s like a double agent for both sides but doesn’t get too involved because things with suga are making it difficult. he’s definitely someone suna goes to a lot for advice and although suna tends to only come on days when y/n works, sometimes on late nights after practice when osamu is the only one left working, suna will come in and they’ll share a drink and talk about y/n and more

bokuto koutarou & oikawa tooru °❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

bokuto

wing spiker for msby and self proclaims himself as the ace <3 sakusa and him beef a little bit about it but the entire team is made up of doubles anyway so they kind of share the title. he’s matching users with atsumu and oikawa and also asked akaashi if they could have matching headers <3 akaashi sent him his current header which bokuto immediately started using <3 my guy has got so many friends and is loved by everyone so he’s actually having the best time of his life in college!!! besides when exams come around. then he’s hiding under a table and it takes the collective effort of akaashi, atsumu, and oikawa’s to get him out.

oikawa

second setter for msby! atsumu and him actually lowkey connected immediately and the team often uses a 6-2 rotation to utilize two setters and it’s been working out pretty well. other volleyball teams quiver hearing about msby’s lineup LMAO. he’s also a photography major which has led to suna often asking him how y/n is doing <3 does a lot of portraits and posts his works on a separate photography account. has started to join atsumu and suna when they sneak out while on away games to find somewhere to leave a piece of art.

extras <3

suna, atsumu, osamu, bokuto, and oikawa all live together

it is either very peaceful or a living hell

atsumu and bokuto will get riled up about something together and start having an energetic burst while suna isolates in his room (or more often is slipping out to go hang with y/n)

oikawa’s pretty chill and is in his actually-studying-for-exams era

osamu’s usually busy at work

so it’s peaceful (according to their definition) when not everyone is home but sometimes atsumu will start beefing with osamu about something and shit hits the fan

suna is heavily heavily heavily inspired by this guy named @/greg_goya on instagram

when i had this idea for street art i really spent an hour on instagram and google combined looking for this guy bc the art he does is totally what i was going for

and when i say inspired i mean suna is literally greg goya. i will probably use screen shots from my man greg in this smau so ty to him in advance he's a king 👑

both "exhibits" or friend groups are lowkey one big friend group but there's a small natural divide bc most of the ride or die bros are from inarizaki and some of them (cough atsumu cough bokuto cough suna if he didn't want to be around y/n 24/7 cough) said that they NEEDED a bros only gc

taglist: @wyrcan @oyasumeii @froyaoya @gyuijns @nbcvs @milkteade @eggyrocks @0moonii @guitarstringed-scars @makkir0ll @mylahrins @cherrypieyourface @vivian-555 @sharkerino @bluebeanbee @r0seandth0rns @staileykout @lunavixia @thvvluvr @elliott0o0 (form to be added to taglist! <3)

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[yikesharringrove]

steve and billy teaching in the same school!! there's these teachers in my school and they work right across the hall from each other. they're always yelling into each others classrooms.

she teaches english lit 101 and he teaches gov 102

"Harrington!"

Some of the kids snickered quietly when Mr. Harrington jumped at the shout from across the hall.

He stared blankly at the last word he had written on the board, the black Expo mark wiggles from where he had jumped at the yell of his name.

He turned around, sighing exaggeratedly at Mr. Hargrove standing in the doorway.

"Kids, excuse my coworker here." He crossed his arms around his chest. "Can I help you?"

"Yeah, you can Mr. H."

Steve rolled his eyes as his husband swaggered into his classroom, leading a line of ninth graders with him.

It's not the first time Billy's interrupted his class with a question about some inane bullshit that launched Steve into an over-excited rant for the rest of class.

Steve's tenth and eleventh graders were already closing their textbooks, knowing their teacher was just about to be insanely distracted for the rest of class.

"The birds n' I are reading The Crucible."

Fuck.

Steve's pretty sure Billy's kids pay him to bring them across the hall for these impromptu lectures.

"Witch hunts. I get it."

"Yeah, you know. Anyway, I'm giving some context to the publishing of the book. The Red Scare in the United States, well, the second Red Scare, as well as the rise of McCarthyism coincided with the publishing of the play."

Goddammit.

Steve's fucking master's thesis was on all about McCarthyism (more specifically, how the second Red Scare was directly linked to the Lavender Scare.) He cited the stupid play in his research.

Billy knows that. They were already engaged by the time Steve began his master's program.

Fuck this guy, for real.

Steve quietly closed his power point presentation on interest groups in America.

"Fine. Mr. Hargrove's class, find a seat. My class, your packet is still due Friday. I'll post the slides after class." He glared at Billy.

Billy grinned right back, his tongue poking out in that frustrating way it has since high school.

"1950s United States. What do you know?"

A few hands went up.

Even Billy raised his stupid hand. Steve ignored him.

-

"Which brings us to the end of the decade. With the early 1960s, we have the reformation in the Catholic Church, known as Vatican ll-"

The bell cut him off mid-sentence, and there was a mad scramble as the students all tried to pack up as quickly as possible, before Steve could keep going.

"My class," he nearly shouted over the scraping of chairs against linoleum. "Your packets are still due Friday! I don't care that Mr. Hargrove interrupted our time."

"And birds! The rubric is posted on the class page! I want outlines handed in on Tuesday."

The classroom door closed behind the final kid.

"You're a dick."

Billy laughed.

"Nah, you just teach that shit so much better than I do."

Steve rolled his eyes. He sat behind his desk, yanking over a stack of twelfth grade research assignments to begin grading. Billy perched on the other side of his desk.

"Y'know, you could just ask me to come in and lecture. You don't have to interrupt my own class."

"Yeah, but it's fun to wind you up and watch you go. And I think the birds like it when they see that you're passionate about something. Why do you think I always start with The Joy Luck Club?"

"Because you have mommy issues."

"No. Because Ying-ying's story makes me sob like a bitch, and the birds get to realize that I'm a real-life human."

Steve scrubbed his face with his hands, collecting himself before facing his dumbass husband again.

"Wait, you said they had an essay due. What's the essay?"

"Oh, comparing the Salem Witch Trials and the goings on of the U.S. government in the mid 1950s. You know."

"So, you created an assignment, knowing that I would infodump all that shit to your kids?"

"Yes."

"I want a divorce."

Billy laughed, leaning over Steve's desk to kiss his forehead.

"No, you don't."

"No, I don't. I love you. But also you suck."

The bell sounded to indicate the end of passing period.

Billy got off the desk, stretching with a groan.

"Would you be mad if I brought my senior class in?"

Steve glared at him in the doorway.

"What's the assignment?"

"They're presenting on the parallels between 1984 and the current political climate."

Goddammit.

"Bring 'em in."

[kkurokitty]

i guess it’s time to dust off the old soap box. because i’m disappointed and disgusted by some of you.

to preface this, i am boycotting. i unfollowed all of their accounts, i blocked them on spotify, etc. this isn’t to punish the other six members, but to send a message to SM that their actions have consequences and that they’re unfortunately going to end up ruining RIIZE’s reputation for the shady way they are moving. they don’t deserve this. shotaro, eunseok, sungchan, wonbin, sohee, anton and seunghan all deserve better. that is the purpose of this boycott. i watched the streams on talk saxy skyrocket when he was announced to come back, i watched their twitter followers shoot up to 810k and i also watched them fall down to 732k (and still dropping) when the departure announcement was released.

i am ot7. but the way some of you are acting is despicable. it’s laughable how you guys are preaching about the harassment seunghan has received that has even spilled over to wonbin, sungchan, eunseok, sohee, etc. but then you turn around and harass people who have their own reasons to not participate in the boycott.

i agree, it would be nice if everyone could unite on this. but the reality is that people have their own attachments to the group and may not feel right ceasing all interaction with the group’s content. there are way more people participating in the boycott than you know. only about 100 people were amongst those who sent wreaths to SM and there are hundreds of thousands of people boycotting and rallying in seunghan’s honor.

which brings me to my next point. you guys are no better than the ones who sent funeral wreaths to seunghan, wrote his name in red ink, and told him to go to the han river and k*ll himself and that they’ll bully him until he does. sending death threats to people on tumblr because they aren’t doing what you want them to is the same thing. you’re cut from the same cloth. you want to preach about safety and mental health when it comes to him - which you should, he deserves to be safe and healthy - but then you turn around and send the same threats to someone who isn’t participating in the boycott. why is it okay when the person isn’t a celebrity? you people say that SM supports bullies, and they do, but you’re bullies too.

boycotting works. it does. i think more people should do it. but i also think it’s very hypocritical to bully and harass someone and send them death threats because they aren’t doing exactly as you are. behavior like that only drives someone further away from where you want them and you should be focusing your energy on those who are stalking and harassing the riize members and doxxing their families, not someone who just wants to write smut on tumblr.com.

i think some of you are boycotting for the wrong reasons. your goal and focus should be on the seven guys, not harassing people and waiting for the moment they turn anonymous asks back on so you can send them threats because they’re not completely cutting off the group. that’s embarrassing. that’s only giving more fuel to ot6s in the end. this is supposed to be a time where the fandom is united over his unfair departure from the group, but all you guys are doing is fighting and constantly adding fuel to the fire.

do fucking better.

[macknshift]

THE ONE WHERE . . . I INTRODUCE Y'ALL TO LEO!

SOOOO…i have mentioned leo in like, 90 different posts atp and never actually made a "leo intro" (mainly bc i have weird feelings ab sharing him heavily to the rest of the world lol) but! i figured now would be the best time to get into explaining him to y'all.

LEO , commonly given the last name SCOTT (depends on the dr!) is actually originally the main character's love interest in a hockey romance book i've been in the process of writing. after getting #sickandtired of annoying ass book men i gave up and began drafting one of my own. the main character is literally me (i mean, for christ's sake her name is sloane mackintosh,) and eventually, i began thinking of him in other "au"s (i used to do this a lot on wattpad - i mean DRs but the term AU is usually more digestible to ppl that may not be aware of reality shifting. Anyways.) and began kind of placing him in everything. a list of the drs he is my love interest in is follows;

BETTER CR : (fc silasj2004*) the hockey romance book pretty much as a dr. small changes occur but basically he's the exact same as leo in the book lol

PARENT DR : (fc jack schlossberg. yes. i am one of those girlies. i am not ashamed! at least he has morals + a backbone y'all this could be much worse) the "backstory" is my better cr dr. i'm now a mother of 3 (amelia or mimi, aged 5, giselle or gigi, aged 4 and i'm pregnant with vincenzo, our final kid,) and it follows our life after what would be the events of the book. i sort-of made it also as like a WAG dr in a sense bc leo is a professional hockey player! (but he retires 2 years before this point in time so idk where my thought process is w this lol)

FORMULA 1 DRIVER DR : (fc pato o'ward MY!!!! mclaren man ln4 U ARE NOTHINGGGGGGG) leonardo dempsey, son of actor patrick dempsey (my forever celebrity crush ugh he's so fine) and driver for aston martin aramco f1 team under #99. i essentially took l*nce str*ll's daddy's boy backstory and gave it to leo bc he is indeed a daddy's boy. the only dr leo and i are enemies to lovers bc i'm too obsessed w him otherwise LMFAO

MARVEL DR : (fc marcello hernandez (MY MAAANNNN)) leo scott, secretly the speedster superhero 'comet'. hired by my dad as essentially a bodyguard (leo's not intimidating AT ALL idek how the hell this is supposed to work LMFAO) as comet and knows me out of costume as his sister's roommate (mj is also in every dr ever and actually is here in this cr. i can never leave her out i love her DOWN) basically marichat vibes (god i miss marichat)

POP STAR DR : (fc marcello hernandez, again) leo sinatra, nepo baby great-grandson of frank sinatra (there's a whole, incredibly large bit of lore ab this LMFAO + he's also a great-grandson in my better cr dr too bc i need my man RICH!) and Saturday Night Live cast member. basically i go on snl and immediately fall in love. i've stolen the 'unlikely couple' weekend update sketch for us & he does domingo, which is my song lol we're funny for it idk

THE FCS, in color photos:

i'm missing like, 18 other drs that i can think of but some important info about him;

he's half oaxacan mexican. i've tried my damnedness to find a way to make it obvious but when i was 'designing' him (aka drawing him out) i used jack, silas (*NOTE: he is leo's typical fc if i don't have an designated one for him) and marcello as references to make him look the most like him as i can. the fcs are kind of loose for him but i need a way to like fully visualize him. so. yeah. his 'color palette' (weird way to put it but idk how else) makes him tanner than all three of them i fear. all of the fcs i use (other than jack schlossberg but like. idk his main celebrity lookalike in the better cr is him so i kind of had to) are latino, but i feel like it never ever properly translates when i talk about him bc his name is fucking leopold scott. like. huh.

he's also tall AS FUCK lol and built like a tank lowkey (think tom welling clark kent GOOD GOOGLY MOOGLY) but it's mainly bc he's a hockey player. in every vers he's like. 6'3. shortest he is is w marcello as his fc and even then he's 5'11. (note in pop star dr he gets a lot of comparisons to jacob elordi for some reason??? idk my fans are weird)

he's got big brown baby cow eyes. every. single. time. like that is this man's defining trait and you know what? i would not change that for the world lol

his position in hockey is a goalie! he uses the number #29 and plays for our college and later for the new jersey devils before being traded to the anaheim ducks. after he retires he becomes a firefighter!!!! (which is sooo hot btw)

[slamdunk-headcanons]

Where Slam dunk boys would take you in a first date

Hello guys! I'm back after a super blessed retreat! Thank God! And now I'm ready to get into a lot of SD headcanons! I'm so happy you guys sent me you hcs ideas there are SO MANY AMAZING ONES and I can't wait to write them! Thank you so so much to help me build up this blog for the best manga/anime of all time! As I work in your requests, enjoy this one and don't forget to check out the Masterlist to make a SD headcanon marathon!

Sakuragi Hanamichi: Ice-cream parlor

Sakuragi doesn't have so much money and is a simple soul. As long as he's with you, he feels in heaven.

He also chooses the ice-cream parlor because is reeeeeally nervousm and too fancy places would make him feel even more nervous. Also,, ice-cream would calm his nerves down;

He would DIE if you put ice-cream on his mouth;

TOO NERVOUS TO KISS YOU IN THE FIRST DATE

Rukawa Kaede: Bike ride to the beach

(I write for Rukawa in a context that he's older, already on college and more mature)

Loves calm places so he would take you to a place where he feels calm.

He loves to ride his bike having you by his side.

At the beach you would walk by the sea, eat something, talk a little bit and play basketball

Wants to kiss you in the first date, but for him, is not THAT important to do in the first date;

Maybe he'll kiss you without even noticing in the end of the date. Just a little peck;

Mitsui Hisashi: Fancy restaurant

Wants to impress you, so he takes you to a restaurant that's fancy enough for him to where a good blazer or suit.

Wants to talk to you a lot in a romantic atmosphere

Sits by your side. Holds your hand while you talk

Pay the bill and never EVER let you pay anything on the next dates;

Wants to kiss you but won't force you;

Akagi Takenori: Fancy Restaurant

You deserve to have a princess first date. So he takes you to a really good restaurant that he already went to check their service in every single detail

Dresses in a fancy, but discreet way.

Hear you more and talk less. He does a lot of questions and is always worried if everthing is okay.

Just like as Mitsui, don't you ever dare pay something in one of your dates;

Won't kiss in the first date because he wants to know you better and let you know that he's interested in your soul and not your body;

Miyagi Ryota: Mall

Ryota is energic, so he wants to do a lot of things with you. He wants wo play on the arcade, buy you some clothes and help you choose...

And obviously he wants to take good care of you, so he takes you to EAT: take you to taste a new ice-cream he found out abou it, than you go to a cool burguer place Kogure recommended;

Saved a lot of money to take you to this date;

Dresses in a cool way;

He complimments you a lot and you catch him looking at you all lovey-dovey a lot of times;

Wants a kiss on the first date but won't force you;

Kogure Kiminobu: your favorite place

He is by far the most sensible guy from Shohoku basketball team. So to make the decision, he doesn't think of him (his tastes, his necessity to impress). He just want to love you and make you feel comfortable;

So he 'll try to figure out what is your favorite place to go or favorite activity to take you on your first date;

He will meticulously think in a lot of little activities to do during the date;

He'll close the date with a small but cute gift;

He'll hold hands with you a lot.

He won't try to kiss you in the first date because he wants you to feel safe that he's there for you because of who you are and not because he wants something physical;

[thegamingcatmom]

How do you think the denalis would react to a reader who loves giving head?

Same question for the Resident evil ladies

I mean-

Pretty much that, LMAO.

Ofc they´re all for it. What´s not to love about a beautiful lady expressing that love and devotion by devouring you like she´s got them cravings? 😩🤌

So, I´d say the inward reaction is more or less the same, no matter which lady we´re talking.

On the outside, however-

Listen, some of us got a reputation to uphold, aight?

...With that said:

(Imma switch to "you" here cause it flows a lot better and makes for a more immersive feeling. ;3)

Warning Promise: Things are about to get rather gay.

.

.

.

Tanya Denali:

doesn´t care about the place

outside, inside, up, down, above, under - great, she´ll take it

she does care about the position though

we´ve been through this - she´s no Bottom

so, don´t expect her to lie down like a pillow princess

she´s a leader, ffs

an alpha

she´s either gonna be sitting (preferably on your face) or standing

perhaps she´ll lift a leg for easier access if she´s standing

then it´s showtime

she enjoys herself thoroughly and has no problem letting the world know

why shouldn´t they know?

you belong to her just as she belongs to you, after all

let them hear

when she´s feeling particularly naughty, she´ll make sure to sound as much like a porn star as she can manage

to say she loves it when you turn as red as a lobster would be quite the understatement

it drives her wild

which is one of the reasons she does it in the first place

the other reason is to ensure her sisters won´t come within miles of the two of you

(and they better stay there)

...it´s also a massive boost to her ego though, it has to be said

seeing the effect she has on you, even when she´s the one receiving?

more often than not, that´s the final straw for her

Kate Denali:

like Tanya, she doesn´t really care about the place

but, unlike Tanya, she also doesn´t care about the position

she´s just damn happy to be here, yknow?

will curse

a lot

will also compliment you

a lot

it´s actually a combination, like-

"Fuck! You´re so pretty down on your knees. All f-for me? Fucking...p-perfect! My perfect little princezná. God-"

she loves letting you know what a mess she is

all because of you

her perfect little warrior

she´ll always worship you, even when she´s the one receiving

and not just vocally

she´ll touch anywhere she can reach

will comb her fingers through your hair

will cradle and stroke your cheek/s

stroke your back

massage your shoulders

just anywhere, yknow?

she needs that contact

(she might be a battle-hardened warrior, but she´ll turn into a huge sap softie for the right person)

she´s surprisingly sentimental too, afterwards

one might even call it poetic

"If my heart could still remember how to beat, it would race in your presence...my perfect little warrior."

Irina Denali

(I know that´s not from Twilight, but listen: I need me some gifs where Irina aka Maggie looks happy, pls and ty. 😭)

she´s big Mama

(yes, I´ll keep saying it because it´s important)

she finds your enthusiasm absolutely endearing

will giggle

hand covering her mouth and all

scrunching her nose

(she´s so precious)

unlike her sisters, she prefers a more private location

preferably in your shared bedroom

she might be convinced to do it just about anywhere in the house though, as long as it can be assured it´s free of prying eyes and ears

outside might work, but only if the area is rather secluded

(she´s a private person, aight? even more so when it comes to anything bedroom-related, like, excuse? it´s hard enough sharing you with her sisters, so she´s not gonna go and give some strangers a show that´s meant for her eyes alone-)

(...fine, and her sisters´)

(ugh)

vampires don´t get cramps or anything, but she still prefers lying down for it

it just makes the experience more intense for her because, despite being quite literally indestructible, she craves that vulnerability

it´s all about having someone you can bare your soul to, someone who gets you on a deep emotional level

she needs that connection to be able to fully let herself go

but when she does, oh boy-

she´ll make the sweetest sounds

whimpering, moaning, mewling - all of it rather high-pitched and shifting in volume, depending on how close she is

won´t stop running her fingers through your hair

will whisper sweet nothings

"My good girl...making me feel so good...I love you...so much."

will keep calling you her "good girl" all the way through because she loves seeing the effect it has on you

which affects her in return

which affects you in return

which affects-

.

.

.

Without further ado, onto the Village Ladies!

(Not sure if you were referring solely to the Dimi sisters? Anyhow, my thirsty ass added two more, hope you don´t mind. 🙃✌️)

Bela Dimitrescu

she´s a Momma´s girl

which means she's a mix between condescending and encouraging

(more condescending though)

will keep calling you her "little one"

she talks a lot actually

someone has to make sure you´re reminded of your place, after all

and of hers

(all that talking is more or less for her own ego tbh)

(she´s got a reputation to uphold, aight?)

(she´s more bark than bite, most of the time)

(except when she isn´t)

(that shit hurts like a bitch btw)

"Look at you, little one...d-down on your knees for me...as it s-should be..."

"You should count yourself l-lucky, little one...to be in a position d-desired by...many-" *proceeds to break into incoherent mumbling*

"S-Serve me well, little one, and I will...I will ask Mother to...k-keep you..."

(jokes on you, that was never a question)

you would never dare say it out loud (you rather enjoy living, tyvm), but the fact she´s such a tryhard will never not amuse you

it´s very obvious she´s trying to mimic her mother

trying to be all intimidating and shit

emphasis on trying

because she fails spectacularly at it

every time

she reminds you of a spitting kitten actually

(those claws hurt like a mf though)

Cassandra Dimitrescu

(I fucking love that shot. Look at that lazy ass bish. You just know she cba about pretty much anything.)

she´s a bit like Kate actually

minus the whole worshipping

which means she´ll pretty much curse the whole way through

also loves to dirty talk

"Fuck! Someone´s been practising, hm? F-Fucking the maids in secret, are you? Dirty little whore, of course you are...f-fuck! MORE!"

she´s loud

very

and proud

very

she loves letting the whole castle know just what the two of you are up to

especially because it annoys the heck outta her sisters

(especially Bela)

also has her sickle with her

always

(it´s her partner in crime, what did ya expect?)

she´ll use it as a way to ground herself

literally

sometimes, it misses you by a hair´s breadth when she goes about impaling the ground right next to you or the wall she´s leaning against

dw, she knows what she´s doing

...probably

listen-

there´s no way she´s gonna let such a dedicated little thing like you slip through her fingers

much less on accident

what a waste that would be

so I´d say you´re pretty safe

(for now)

Daniela Dimitrescu

she´s vibrating

literally

getting her to remain somewhat still is a struggle, lemme tell ya

she´s like a hyperactive puppy

and she chitters like a little birdie

sometimes, she´ll hiss like a spitting kitten too

with Dani, you got a whole farm in your bedroom, it has to be said

she´ll keep telling you how much she loves you

then she´ll switch to almost beheading you

accidently, ofc

she´s just so...excited, yknow?

and she has a rather tight grip on your hair indeed

oh wait, she´s back to telling you how much she loves you

...

it also becomes painfully clear to her that you haven´t said it back yet

"D-Don´t you love me?!"

...

"Mine, you´re mineminemineminemine-"

that´s her fav word btw

she´ll chant it like a mantra almost all the way through

sometimes, she´ll scream it too

"SAY THAT YOU´RE MINE!"

...

she´s back to telling you how she´s always dreamed of finding true love

all loving and tenderly

a stark contrast to the maniac who almost beheaded you only seconds ago

accidently, ofc

she loves you

"Y-You´re mine...my...my Princess Charming...aren´t you? J-Just like...in the books...yes? We shall have a...A SPRING WEDDING!"

...

ofc my love, whatever you say my love

(I luv u pls no kill)

Lady Alcina Dimitrescu

she´s Big Mama

literally

but also Scary Mama

literally

she´ll have them claws out just because

(mostly to intimidate you, let´s be real)

it makes her feel like the apex predator that she is as she reclines in that big chair of hers

it´s massive, really

(we still talking about the chair?)

one leg propped up as she´s being served like a true queen

as it should be

she´ll watch you with a mix of endearment and loftiness (much like in the gif)

dancing the tips of her claws along your back

or stroking them up and down

or running them through your hair when she´s having an extra soft moment

(those are rare)

her other hand is occupied holding a glass of wine

(duh)

swirling it occasionally

taking a sip here and there

in the meantime, she´ll be fantasizing about all the ways she could end your life

(shit turns dark rather quickly in this household)

a swipe of her hand would suffice...

it´s about power, aight?

thinking about the power she holds drives her wild

she also loves taunting you

"Sssuch a nimble little mouse..."

"Or perhaps...masochistic would be a more fitting term, hm? So eager to ssserve...a dragon..."

you won´t catch her moaning and whimpering like a mutt in heat

instead, she´ll draw out some of the syllables

or hiss

sometimes, she´ll pause in between words (probs the most apparent sign that what you´re doing is affecting her a lot more than she lets on)

when she´s getting closer, the occasional grunt might escape too

more like a growl, really

however, despite her aloof demeanor, she can´t deny that she finds your devotion most...charming

that´s probs why she keeps you around in the first place

cause we all know Big Mama likes getting her ego stroked

among other things

Mother Miranda

oh boy bird

she´s Birb Mama

feathers and all

she´s also crazy Mama

crazy eyes

crazy smile

yes, she does smile

occasionally

it´s more a smirk, tbh

she does so enjoy it when her devoted little followers show her just how devoted they are

she´ll wear them robes ofc

parted just enough to allow access

feathers poking out here and there

gotta be careful not to swallow one or smt

that´d be hella uncomfortable for sure

anyhow-

you´re in the church

(duh)

but the things going on there are far from holy

she´ll stand before you

more like you´ll kneel before her

as you should be

no hands

you ain´t touching none of that

divinity shall not be sullied by the likes of you

(...we´re not gonna talk about the fact you´re sullying her alright in this very moment)

just like Big Mama, she´ll taunt you

"Is this what you wish for in your prayers at night, hm?"

running her claws (aka her rings) through your hair

"Tell me, child...does this village harbor more corrupted souls such as yourself?"

grip getting tighter

and tighter

claws starting to dig in-

*hiss*

the sound of pain evokes a small chuckle

her grip loosens a smidge in response though

(see? she´s a huge softie :3)

"Perhaps I shall cleanse it, hm? Liberate it from its sinners... What do you think, little bird?"

it´s a rhetorical question ofc

(thank fuck)

Miranda does as Miranda damn well pleases

(the idea of Miranda threatening to erase a whole village while she´s being served is so real though)

she´s very composed, all things considered

("all things" being: you eating her out as if your life depends on it)

(I mean...)

it´s almost like she´s talking about the weather or smt, honestly

then she removes her rings

the only indication you´re nearing the grand finale

now she can actually hold on tight without having to worry about impaling your pretty head

very much so

shit hurts so good like hell

but it´s also a precaution

the thing is...Miranda might not be vocal about her feelings

but she doesn´t have to be

her transforming is all the confirmation you need

it´s her way of letting go, you could say

she won´t go all out though

just parts of herself

her fingers being one of them

(yall are familiar with her mutated form, right? them fingers be going on for days)

hence, the precaution

she has lost quite a few rings that way

she´s grown rather fond of the current set

it´s got black tips and all

🖤💅🏻

.

.

.

Yall noticed how it got more unhinged as we progressed? The slow descent into madness was real with this one, LMAO. 💀

I could feel the obsession starting to creep back in with every word, lel. Dani might have just become my fav among the daughters. :3

Thanks a lot for your ask! I had a lot of fun with this one. 💋

[itscloudsocks]

Time and Time again - chapter 2

cw: drugs, violence, character death

He now spends most of his time near the Last Drop, in case Jayce shows up again. In the beginning, it´s quite boring but then Benzo - a friend of Vander´s, apparently - lets him build stuff in his store from scrap and Viktor can still see the large square in front of the Last Drop, so he won´t be missing Jayce coming. The first week or so, nothing happens. Viktor has just started being angry with himself for being so stupid as to believe a Topsider, when a familiar mop of brown hair catches his attention. Jayce. 

He´s much better dressed this time, with wornout pants, dirty, old shoes and a large, patchy shirt. Viktor leaves the little desk Benzo has pushed closer to the window for him, leaves the shop door open after himself when he bursts out of the store and yells across the place, as loud as he can. It´s barely audible over the rumble and mumble of the Lane, but Jayce´s head still whips around. His eyes, large and bright, go searching for a moment but then he smiles in blinding excitement and makes his way over.

“Viktor!”

“You came,” Viktor notices, a bit too excited for his own liking.

“I did! And I wore my working clothes this time! Ma was a little mad last time that I got the other ones all dirty. Look, it´s nothing more than a scratch now!” He strokes some strands of hair from his forehead and shows Viktor a scabbed-over, long scratch on his forehead. “Ma said it´s probably gonna scar!”

He looks way too excited to have a scar from his own stupidity, but Viktor doesn´t say that. Instead, he drags Jayce after him, back into Benzo´s shop and to his own little work station. They tinker away together. Jayce is surprisingly talented - and strong. He follows Viktor´s orders with no trouble, forces pieces of metal apart, screws bolts into holes and laughs when Viktor, frowning, struggles to open them back up. They don´t get very far but they get somewhere and Viktor notices Benzo stopping in his tracks now and again, watching them tinkering and building and creating while Jayce excitedly chatters along and Viktor hums every now and again. After a couple of hours have passed, Benzo has to remind them of the time. Jayce jumps up, kicking over his chair on his way out the door, but he waves and smiles and promises to be back soon.

“He´s a nice kid,” Benzo notices after the door to the shop falls closed again. “I´m glad you´re making friends. ´s that the boy Vander brought back up?”

“Yeah, I found him,” Viktor nods, frowning when the light gets too bad for him to really see what he´s doing. 

“Just be careful, you two, yeah? Some people don´t like the thought of Pilties and Zaunites getting along.”

“I know,” nods Viktor seriously. Not long after, he packs his little bag and makes his way back home. Much to his surprise, his mother is there, sitting at their small, wonky wooden table.

“Viktor, where were you? I was worried!”

Her eyes are cloudy and far away and Viktor leaves his bag near the door to come closer.

“I was at Benzo´s, Mama. You know him, you showed me where his shop is, remember?

Cold hands cup his cheeks and pull him closer into an embrace that, this time, smells of smog and drugs. 

“Nothing can happen to you, you hear me? You can´t ever leave me, Viktor, okay? Promise me, that you´ll always stay right here where I can see you.”

“I know, mama, I promise,” nods Viktor softly, placing his hands over hers. He doesn´t like when she gets like this; shaky and paranoid and jumpy. When she talks to nobody in the room in her - his - mother tongue, too quick for him to understand. When she sits at the table, staring into the darkness, staring at him curled up in bed until she thinks he´s fallen asleep to sneak outside again. When she scratches at her arms, when the wrong words make her angry, furious, violent. Viktor just smiles when she presses a kiss to his forehead before sending him off to bed. She doesn´t help when he struggles to take off his leg brace or when he wraps a stiff cloth around his leg to keep it from bending at night, to keep the pain from becoming worse. She just sits at their small wonky table, softly swaying back and forth, mumbling to herself. 

Curled up under the covers, Viktor stares at the wall just inches from his nose until he hears the scratch of wood on stone and his mothers light, dragging footsteps leading to the door. She leaves and stays away for hours. Hours where Viktor wonders if she´s ever coming back to him. She does. And when she does, she smells like alcohol and sewage water and tears. He finally falls asleep with her softly rubbing his back.

He and Jayce meet a few more times. When Jayce gets better and quicker, Viktor stops teaching him in favour of working on his own things. This time, it´s a little mechanical plane that´s too heavy to fly. Still, he builds it. Jayce almost cries when Viktor hands it to him one day, after it´s done.

“For me?”, he asks, a smile so bright it could light up the room on his face.

“Yeah. It doesn´t fly, but-”

“Thank you!”

Jayce hugs him and Viktor, too startled, just stands there. The hug is warm and soft and not at all boney. It doesn´t smell like pink smoke or drugs, instead Jayce´s hair smells faintly of something sweet and light and his shirt smells like fire and metal.

“I love it,” he squeals, once he pulls away. “I can´t wait to show Ma, she´ll love it too!”

When Jayce runs back to wherever he´s come from, Viktor is already excited to see him again. 

Rio is dead. Alive, but dead, and it frightens Viktor too much to stay. He had come back to Singed after almost two weeks of not showing his face, just to feed and play with Rio. Singed said he could, he´s done it before and it´s never been a problem. But that day, when he had entered the cave, something had felt wrong. And then he´d seen Rio, attached to machines and his normal, soft pink colour deathly grey. He´d only blinked at Viktor, chirped softly, but didn´t move to come closer. He´d looked like he was in pain, in lots and lots of pain. When Viktor had stumbled back, he´d collided with Singed. Singed who didn´t look sad that his friend was in pain. There had been a crazy, excited look in his eyes, he had smiled and placed a hand on Viktor´s shoulder.

“Isn´t it just beautiful?”, he had asked and Viktor had ran as fast as his stupid useless leg would carry him, right hand cramping around the handle of his cane. He had ran and he had cried until he burst through the door of Vander´s bar, not really sure how he´d gotten there but glad he did nonetheless. And that´s where he is now, sitting on a bar stool that makes his legs dangle over the edge, a warm cup of sweet milk in front of him and Vander leaning over the counter, looking at him with narrowed eyes.

“So, tell me again, who is Rio?”

“He´s Singed´s pet…and he…he was plugged into all of those machines and…he didn´t look okay…”

“Viktor,” Vander sighs. “How often have you seen Singed so far?”

“Not that often…just a couple of times…he said I could come by any time to play with Rio and help feed him…”

“He´s a dangerous man, kid, you hear me? I know it´s tempting and I know playing with Rio must be a lot of fun, but you can´t go back to Singed, ever. Alright?”

Frowning, Viktor tilts his head.

“But…he doesn´t seem dangerous…”

“Not yet. Just trust me on this one, kid. You´re too brilliant of a mind to be poisoned by a person like Singed.”

Wiping the sleeve of his sweater over his runny nose, Viktor nods slowly.

“But…Rio…”

“I´m sorry, son, but it´s for the best. You can only hope that he dies, quickly and without any pain.”

Rio dying doesn´t sound right to Viktor´s ears. He´s his friend, he´s not supposed to die. But seeing him in that much pain, not even strong enough to get up and greet him…

Viktor stays with Vander for a long time and once it´s time to go home, Vander walks him. He´s not sure why, Vander has never done that before and it´s not like Viktor has never walked home in the dark, but he does, and Viktor is secretly grateful for it. His mother isn´t home when he falls asleep and she hasn´t returned when he wakes. It´s a new day where Viktor, feeling a bit less cheery with Rio´s sad, tired eyes burnt into the hills and valleys of his brain, makes his way over to Benzo´s. It´s raining, so Viktor stays away from the open sky. While he´s gotten out of the worst parts of Zaun before it started, the rain still isn´t healthy up in the Lanes. His leg is aching, a deep, old pain he can do nothing against. When he pushes the door to Benzo´s shop open, the older, round man is already waiting for him with a blanket in his arms.

“There you are, kid,” he grins, throwing the blanket over Viktor´s head. “No weather´s too bad for you, hm? Little rat.”

Ignoring the teasing insult, Viktor wraps himself in the blanket and takes a moment to just sit and massage the tension from his leg. It barely works. 

“Benzo?”

“Hm? What´s up, boy?”

“Why does Vander hate Singed so much?”

Viktor sometimes forgets how uncomfortable other people get with his bluntness. Benzo scratches the back of his head, laughs awkwardly and looks over to the side.

“I don´t think there´s a specific reason. He mainly just disagrees with Singe´s…ethics.”

“His ethics?”

“He likes to experiment,” Benzo explains.

“But I do that too…”

“No, not the way you do. He experiments on…living things. It started with plants but he´s long gone over to animals and…himself.”

That´s why Viktor enjoys spending time with Benzo and Vander. They don´t treat him like a little child who can´t handle the truth.

“That sounds dangerous,” frowns Viktor. And painful. He wonders if Singed is in pain just like Viktor always is.

“It is. He´s no good company, best stay away from him, you hear me?”

Nodding, Viktor shuffles towards his workbench. He knows that Jayce isn´t going to show up today, with the weather and everything, but lately it´s been unbearable to be home. So he helps Benzo with some repairs, organizes the old mans shelves and works on sketching a new figurine for his mother. When he walks back, it´s still raining, his leg is still aching, but he feels less heavy than he did when he woke up.

Jayce comes back a week later, tan cheeks blushing and eyes sparkling. He´s excited about something, giddy, almost, when he pushes the door to Benzo´s shop open and joins Viktor at the table.

“I…made something for you,” he admits softly. He reaches deep into the pockets of his pants and pulls out a…chunk of metal? Viktor is not quite sure what he´s looking at, here.

“It´s a spinning top! And, and look! My dad helped me but look!” 

Jayce places the spinning top - now that he´s said it, Viktor can recognize it - on the table, in the small patch of light the lamp next to the table sheds, and spins. Viktors eyes grow large large large when he watches colours he´s never seen before dance across the table and the walls, over his pale fingers and Jayce´s excited face.

“It makes lights! Dad put something in the middle to make it do that but I had the idea! Do you like it?”

Viktor tentatively reaches out and takes the spinning top from where Jayce has picked it up again. Carefully, he picks it up, notices with half a mind how warm Jayce´s hands are, and looks at it closely. It´s clumsy work, the metal welded together by the hand of an impatient eight year old. But it´s made with care, made with a large, sharp-edged ball of glass in the middle, made with different colours and materials. Made with Viktor in mind.

“I do,” he admits softly, still staring down at the ugly yet beautiful creation. “I do. Thank you.”

Holding it close to his chest, he gives Jayce a small smile while his heart flutters in joy. They play and build and talk until it´s almost too late and Jayce is in such a hurry that he almost forgets to say goodbye. He still does, though. And when Viktor shows his spinning top to Benzo, he laughs in delight. And when Viktor walks home, he holds it close to his chest like a treasure. And when he comes home, his mother is sitting at the table and Viktor usually knows what that means but right now he´s too, too happy, so he comes up to her and shows her his new toy. Tells her a friend made it for him. His mother just stares with her deep, empty eyes. She stares until she blinks and she blinks until she moves her hand and slaps the spinning top from the table. It clatters to the ground and Viktor stumbles back, startled, and afraid that it´s broken. It´s not. But his mother is towering over him, her voice high and paranoid and Viktor has no time to be excited because she starts screaming and clawing at his hair and his hands and his clothes. 

It is that night where she finds out that Viktor is friends with a Topsider. That he´s been meeting with said Topsider for multiple multiple weeks now. It´s that night that she has an episode like no other. She screams and shouts in the language Viktor has grown up with but still can´t quite understand and she hits him and takes his cane and throws it across the room. And Viktor is so so scared that he takes his spinning top - not broken not broken not broken - and hides away in the darkest corner of their small little one-room home, waiting for his mother to forget he´s here, for her to calm down.

When she does, she starts crying. She pulls Viktor out of his corner even though he flinches away and she wraps him in her arms and cries into his hair and says how sorry she is, how sorry she is for scaring her little star, for hurting him, and that she´s a horrible, horrible mother and Viktor can only sit in her lap and let her hug him, let her calm herself down. At some point, she falls asleep from exhaustion so Viktor tucks her into bed, shuffles over to his cane, takes his pillow and makes himself a nest beneath their table. He knows that he´ll regret it in the morning, that his back and leg with hurt like hell, but he can´t stand to be close to his mother right now. Even halfway across the room, he can smell the sweet, pink smoke and the drugs and the tears clinging to her hair and clothes like a second skin. He falls asleep with the spinning top pressed to his chest.

Three days later, his mother dies. It´s both so so sudden and very much expected. Viktor doesn´t know what it means at first, when a young man stands in front of the door, swaying a bit, eyes cloudy and forehead sweaty. He´s high, Viktor notices. In his arms, he´s holding his barely conscious mother. He unceremoniously dumps her on the bed, excuses himself and wobbles outside, throwing up in the alley in front of their door. Viktor turns towards his mother, towards her pale face and barely-open eyes. She smiles ever so slightly, brushes a hand over his bruised cheek, opens her mouth to speak, but no words come out. She passes away, riding the high of whatever she took. Viktor stands by her bed, holds her hand, holds the spinning top in the other. He´s not sure what to do; he has a home he can´t pay for and his mother is dead. The grief doesn´t kick in right away. He tucks his mother in like he always does, takes his cane and leaves. His feet carry him to the Last Drop. Pushing the door open, he stands there for a moment. There are eyes on him, some customers used to his skinny, pale face, others weirded out by the strange limping boy. Vander´s voice is there, somewhere, but Viktor can´t understand what he´s saying. His legs give in.

He´s sitting on the floor until he´s not. Until someone - Vander - carefully scoops him up and sits him down on a chair, wraps him up in a blanket, hands him a cup of sweet milk and leaves to get Benzo. Felicia stays with Viktor while Vander and Benzo take care of his mother, take care of the handful of things they have owned. Viktor doesn´t see his mother again, doesn´t know where they take her or what they do with her body but when Vander comes back, he places a heavy hand on Viktor´s shoulder and says, voice rough and tired,” I´ve prepared your bed in the back. It´s not perfect but we´ll find a better solution tomorrow.”

It is then, that Viktor starts crying. Once it settles in that he´ll never return home, that his mother will never rub his back again, that he´ll never hear her call him little star, that he´ll never smell her million scents or hear her laughing ever again. Felicia holds him through it, softly strokes his bruised arms, holds his bruised face. He claws at her back, presses his face against her shoulder. Crying is a weakness and weakness means death down in Zaun but Viktor can´t stop the tears, can´t stop the gasps from wrecking his body, can´t stop his teeth from clattering. When he´s all cried out and exhausted, Felicia somehow carries him to the back where the couch is covered in his pillow and blanket. There´s a small bookshelf next to the couch where boxes of vegetables used to be stored. Now, it´s filled with Viktors figurines. He cries again, cries into his pillow, presses the spinning top close close close until he´s sure - hopes - it´s left indents in his skin. Felicia is rubbing his back, is humming a soft, unfamiliar tune that somehow lulls Viktor to sleep.

Jayce doesn´t come that week. Or the next. Or the one after that. He never comes so at some point, Viktor stops waiting. He moves on with life, picks up a job at Benzo´s, cleans out a small space in the attic of the Last Drop and lives there. It´s not ideal, he still sometimes sleeps in the back when his leg hurts too bad for him to move up the stairs. Vander starts growing a beard. He turns ten; Benzo starts teaching him how to read, shows him his small collection of books he´s been finding and buying from everywhere in Zaun. Felicia´s belly starts to grow. It´s a girl, her name is Violet. She has pink hair and light blue eyes and Viktor doesn´t usually like kids, but she´s cute. He grows out of his leg brace and his cane, spends month building new ones, etches a small V into it. The spinning top starts collecting dust, most of Viktor´s figurines have been recycled for scraps. 

Jayce doesn´t show.

Tag list (leave a comment if you´d like to be added <3) @frog-fans-unite

[theowlwrites]

Shall we dance? // Bailamos?

Melissa Schemmenti x F!Reader

Cariño: Term of endearment, can be translated as honey/ dear/ darling.

~Just want to clarify that I love Mexican and Italian culture. 🫶🏽

Warnings: no physical description of reader, it is mention that her nationality is Mexican en 2 occasions, consumption of alcohol. Angst, fluff, and a little smut at the end?

Summary: Reader is the new Spanish teacher at Abbott, she goes to a celebration of 5 de Mayo at Barb’s house, were things turn interesting with Melissa.

************************************************************************************************************

“Come on!” Janine was trying for the hundred time to convince you to go to this little get together at Barbara's house “It will be fun!”

Today was 5 de Mayo, and for some reason, in the States, they celebrated it. You have nothing against it, but back in México it goes like any other normal day. Despite that, seeing all the decorations with Mexican themes made you miss your home.

“I've already told you” You close the folder you were working on a look at her “I can't go, I already made some other plans”

The truth was that you didn't have any plans, you just don't feel part of the teacher group just yet. You are the new Spanish teacher at Abbot, just entered this year. Everyone has been nice to you, especially Janine and Jacob. You also have a good relationship with Gregory, but you aren´t really close. When it came to the older teachers, you have no issue talking to Barbara, she is really nice, she sometimes even asks you to help her with her Spanish. But Melissa, she was a different story, she isn´t exactly mean, but she likes to make clear that she preferred anything Italian over Spanish, and that Italian cuisine was better than the Mexican. You never argue, mostly because Melissa intimidates you, but not for the reason she intimidates the other younger teachers, but because you have the biggest crush on her.

So going to this 5 de Mayo party to Barbara's house looks like the perfect place for Melissa to tell you over and over again how Italians do it better. Not really something you are looking forward to.

“Leave the booze to me Barb, I know a guy that can get me the best tequila” At that moment Melissa and Barbara were entering the teacher’s room, interrupting you and Janine.

Barb looks directly to you, ignoring Melissa “Oh good, I was looking for you dear” She takes a sit next to you. “Please can you take care of the music? Maybe you can play some Spanish bangers in that Walkman of yours” She meant your Spotify. All eyes were on you know, making you feel the pressure. “You are coming… right?”

“You know Barbara… I… I don´t think I can make it, I have to...” You were avoiding looking at her, you couldn´t lie to her face, actually you couldn´t lie to anyone’s face, you were a terrible liar.

“Okay, what is it?” Melissa´s voice came from behind you, then she walked to your side and took a sit in front of you. “Why don´t you want to spend time with us?”  She had her glasses over her head, leaving a few strands of hair free next to her face, she was raising an eyebrow. She was looking hot.

“It´s not that” Your voice comes out weaker that you expected. “I don´t know, it makes me feel a little… homesick, I guess” It wasn´t entirely a lie, but you couldn´t tell the redhead that she makes you nervous to the point of almost forgetting how to speak English.

“Oh darling” You felt Barbs arm wrap your shoulders. Melissa was still looking at you, but this time with more gentle eyes that before “I can imagine how you feel, but I think this could do you good. You can show us a little bit more of your traditions, I would love to hear about that”

“Yeah girl… we can get to know each other a little bit more” Melissa winked and eye at you, which made your heart beat faster.

With a big sigh, you finally agree “Okay then, I´ll be there at five o´clock”

“You won´t regret it, amigo!” Janine says

“Amiga… with an a” You laugh.

“See you at five o clock then, dear. Don´t forget the music.” Barbara smiles, pleased that she convinced you to go and leaves the room with Janine. Leaving you with Melissa, who was still looking at you.

She stood up and grab her bag, carrying it on her shoulder. “See you soon… cariño” You were so glad that Melissa left immediately after saying those words, otherwise, she would have noticed how your face turned red as a tomato.

Later that day you were at home, putting together a playlist of spanish music. You added some ballads, some more mariachi music, and algo some dancing music, like salsa, cumbia and some bachata, just for fun.

At 5:15 pm you were standing outside Barbara´s house, you have already knocked twice and nobody answered. Maybe you had the location wrong, so you decided to call Janine, but just as you were going to press the call button, a voice from behind called you.

“Hey, cariño, it´s over here” Melissa was standing next to her car on the sidewalk, holding some bags that you assumed contained the tequila bottles. “This way”

You followed her to the back of the house, everyone was there, at the patio. No one was inside the house, that’s way nobody heard you knocking.

“Look what I found in your front door Barb” Melissa was referring to you, as she went straight to the table to settle the bottles. All eyes went to you, for second time in the day. Everyone was there already, with the exception of Ava, that preferred to stay at home watching Desperate Housewives than “going to that lame party” (her words). 

“I forgot to tell you we will be at the back. Anway, I´m very glad you came. You bring the music?” 

“Of course,” You proceed to connect you phone to the speaker and start reproducing your playlist.

“Now this is a fiesta!” Said Janine while trying to dance at the bit of one song.

You were standing next to the speaker, watching everyone enjoy the party. Barbara has offered you a plate of mini taquitos, that were actually really good. It was probably the music, the Mexican decoration and even the taquitos that made you feel nostalgic, so your mind started wondering through your childhood memories. All those parties with your family, how your father had taught you to dance in those parties, how you mom food tasted. You were so immersed in you thought that didn´t notice when the redhead went to stand right next to you.

“Penny for your thoughts” Her voice snapping you out from your own mind.

“I was just remembering some childhood stuff, that all” You didn’t dare to look at her eyes. And she noticed it, actually she had always notice it, how you would avoid looking directly at her. She always took those moments as opportunities to look at you with more detail. Melissa hadn´t admitted this to anyone, not even Barbara. but she thinks that you are very beautiful, she´s intrigued by you. She likes it when you speak Spanish, you make everything sound better. But she has no idea how to approach those feelings, so she decides to keep her distance too, by not being the nicest or most accessible teacher at Abott.   She wanted that to change, and she was going to start working in that today. 

“You know… I sometimes feel nostalgic of my home as well.” She drank from the plastic cup she was holding. “I have always lived in Philly, but I don´t see my family as often anymore, and we haven´t had a reunion or a party in so long… I miss that” You looked at Melissa. She was actually telling you something personal, without sarcasm. “But of course, it must be harder for you, being away from your country” She then looked you in the eyes.

“It´s not too bad” You were actually looking at Melissa´s eyes, for mor than 1 second, for the first time, and God they were beautiful, just as her. “I visit them once a year, and they sometimes come visit” There was a silence, both of you looking at everyone else enjoying the party.

“Would you like a paloma?” Melissa asked, with a mischievous grin.

“That´s what you are having?” She nodded. “Yeah, please”

Melissa served you a paloma (soda with tequila), and from that moment you never parted her side. Both of you kept talking, laughing, at some point you teaching her some Spanish, and she teaching you some Italian. It was probably the booze, but you started feeling how Melissa was getting more comfortable around you. She was being handsy, placing her hand around your arm, sometimes over your hand, and some other times around your waist. Soon she started leaning against you, caressing your hair, holding your waist longer. She was flirting. Neither of you were drunk drunk, you were still perfectly conscious and in you five senses, which made you very anxious but excited about this sudden change in Melissa´s attitude.

It was already 9:00 pm, Janine, Gregory and Jacob had already left, tomorrow was school day. Barbara, Melissa and you were sitting around the folding table in the middle of the patio. Your music still playing. The three of you has stop drinking like an hour ago, to sober up, and were just chatting. And even without the effects of the alcohol, Melissa was still being nice to you, maybe a little less handsy, but still very friendly.

Barbara excuse herself to go to the bathroom. A comfortable silence between Melissa and you, when a salsa began to play at the background.

“God, I love that salsa, I used to dance it all the times at parties, with anyone, even alone, I just wanted to dance it” You smile as you remember. Unconsciously you closed your eyes and started moving in your chair, humming the song. Unaware of the way Melissa was looking at you.

“Shall we dance?” You snap your eyes open. She offers you her hand to you, already standing up next to you.

“What?”

“Bailamos?” She repeats, and this time you nodded. She holds her hand until you are standing next to her. She places her free hand on your waist, keeping you close to her, while her other hand holds yours at the level of her face. And you start dancing.

It´s a slow salsa, so it is easy to dance, but you have the feeling that even if it was a faster rhythm, Melissa would dance like if she had done it all her life.

You feel Melissa´s eyes on you, she´s smiling. She moves her arm, so it surrounds your waist. The sudden closeness makes you lose your balance a little, Melissa holds you tighter, preventing you for falling. You both laugh.

Her face inches away from yours, her eyes going from your eyes to your lips. She caressed your cheek with her other hand, and pulls you closer, closing the space between you.

The kiss is sweet, slow. You both take your time to feel it, you enjoy it. Your arms around Melissa´s neck, keeping her close to you. Soon the kiss turns a little more heated, Melissa´s tongue asking for permission to pass your lips, to which you happily submit.

You still can taste a little bit the alcohol from earlier, and you taste the sweetness of Melissa.  Really there is no other way to describe it, it feels and taste sweet to be kissing her like this.

You break the kiss until you realize you need to take a breath, but not breaking the embrace. You are still so close to each other Melissa can basically fell how your heart is beating fast.

“I never thought Italians were this good at salsa dancing” That´s all you said, making Melissa laugh.

“We are good at everything darling, but you do it amazing yourself, cariño, give yourself some credit.” She kissed you again. “Let me drive you home.” Melisas whispered to your ear, you just nodded.

You both said goodbye to Barbara, not without offering to help her clean, to which she refused. Once inside Melisa´s car she couldn’t stop eyeing you, she kept a hand in your thigh. You couldn’t stop looking at her either, and honestly, if it wasn´t for the seatbelt, you would be on top of her long time ago.

You arrive home, Melissa opens your door, helping you out. And before she could say anything, you were kissing her. This time was passionate, full of desire and lust. Melissa was against the car, her hands on your hips. You were leaning on her, your hand on her hair.

“Come inside, please” You didn’t mean to sound do needy, but you couldn´t hide it.

“I would absolutely love it cariño, but tomorrow is school day, and I need another change if clothes. I just wanted to make sure you arrive safe and sound.” She was keeping her hands on your hips, but this time with a stronger grip, trying to create a little more space between you tow.

“Please” You took Melissa´s hands away from your hips, letting you lean to her once again. “Por favor” (please) You whispered to her ear. Now her arms were surrounding you shole waist. You started kissing her earlobe, descending to her neck. Melissa was in a trance. “Te necesito” (I need you)

“You are making this very difficult for me, cariño” Now it was Melissa´s voice the one that came out shaky, which made you feel proud.

“It doesn´t have to be difficult, you can just come in”.

“Let´s make a deal, hon… I promise that tomorrow I will be here, with a bottle of wine, and we can do whatever you want, but you have to promise to speak I little more Spanish to my ear, deal?” That mischievous grin was back on Melissa´s face, and you loved it.

“¿Te gusta cuando hablo español?” (Do you like when I speak Spanish?) You said as innocent as you could.

“I have no idea of what you just said, but keep doing that you will pay the price tomorrow”

“Trato… deal” You agreed. She kissed you once again, this time keeping it less heated and shorter. You took a few steps away from Melissa, trying to pull yourself together, and trying to ignore you soaked underwear. If Melissa wasn´t going to spend this night with you, you had some plans before going to bed, and as if she could read your mind, she added…

“Oh, and cariño… don´t touch yourself tonight, It will make tomorrow more fun” She winked her eye to you. It wasn’t a question; it was an order. “You can do that for me, right hon?” You really wanted to release all this tension tonight, but you couldn´t say no to Melissa.

“I promise” you said

“Good girl” She went inside her car. “See you tomorrow cariño, sleep tight” She left, leaving you horny as hell.

God, you couldn’t wait for tomorrow…

********************************************************************************************************************

Okay, so this idea pop into my mind while I was watching Shall we dance?, I really love that movie, and I love Lisa’s character. 🥹

Hope you like it, and let me know if you want a second part 🫣

[ssweeterthanfiction]

Wait for your love.

content warnings (for the whole series): mentions of drugs and alcohol, age gap, gaslighting, billy being TOXICCCCC, mentions of suicide/suicidal thoughts, mental health issues,

↳ currently playing ;

Is It Over Now? - 1977

0:56 ——•———————— 3:24

↺       <<          ll          >>    ⋮≡

Y/N: “I really tried so hard to convince Billy that he needed to get clean.” 

“I don’t know what I thought would happen. Maybe I wanted to believe that if I begged hard enough, cried long enough, Billy would finally get it. That he’d see that he was hurting himself, that he was destroying everything. He was destroying the band. He was destroying me.

“But Billy doesn’t work like that. He’s all or nothing, and I was starting to realize I was the ‘nothing.’”

Billy: “We were staring to fight even more. It was nonstop.” 

“Back then, I blamed her. For everything. Now I know that I was a fucking asshole.” 

Y/N: “The fighting…it was bad. I hated fighting with him.” 

“I hated that every time he’d bring up the fact that I was ‘replaceable”, that I was just another pretty face and he could easily find someone like me.” 

“And I know that I bring that up a lot. But when someone tells you that you’re replaceable, that sticks with you. Always. You never forget that because now you constantly think that you are never enough for anything.”

“And you would think that since I finally stood up to him at the party that I would’ve just broken up with him already.” 

“I didn’t.” 

“I stayed with him like a fucking idiot.” 

“And a lot of people think that I broke up with him first.” 

“He was the one that decided that we needed a break and that we should just be ‘casual’.” 

   🎶 .·:*¨🎶💋🎶¨*:·. 🎶

Another fight. You don’t even know how it began, but you didn’t care. 

You stood near the window, arms crossed tightly over your chest as you stared out at the city lights, your voice sharp and trembling. “I can’t keep doing this, Billy. I can’t keep pretending everything’s fine when you’re...like this.”

Billy sat slouched on the couch, his head thrown back in frustration. He let out a bitter laugh, shaking his head. “Like what, Y/N? Go on, say it. Like the screw-up, right? The addict? The guy you think you’re so much better than?”

“That’s not what I’m saying,” you snapped, turning to face him. “But you need help, Billy! You’re spiraling, and I can’t just stand here and watch you—”

“Watch me what?” he cut her off, his tone mocking. “Destroy myself? Ruin your perfect little image of me that you have in your head?” He stood abruptly, towering over you. “You think you’re so mature, don’t you? Like you know everything. You’re what, twenty? Twenty-one? You have no idea what the hell you’re talking about.”

Your jaw clenched, you could feel tears form in your eyes, but you refused to let them fall. “Don’t you dare talk to me like I’m a child. I’ve put up with more than anyone else would.”

Billy scoffed, stepping closer, his voice low and cutting. “Oh, please. You should be grateful I even put up with you. Do you know how many girls would kill to be where you are? To be with me?”

You flinched, his words hitting like a slap. “Grateful?” you echoed, her voice breaking. “Grateful for what? For being constantly told I’m replaceable? That I’m just another pretty face? You don’t even respect me, Billy!”

He ran a hand through his hair, exhaling sharply. “Maybe we should take a break,” he said suddenly, his voice laced with cold finality.

Your heart stopped. “What?”

“You heard me,” he said, avoiding your eyes. “This...whatever this is, it’s not working. Maybe we should cool it. Be casual.”

“Casual?” she repeated, the word tasting bitter in your mouth. “You want to take a break? After everything?”

“Yeah,” he said flatly. “Maybe we’d be better off that way.”

For a moment, the room was silent. You felt your chest tighten, your breath was shallow. You wanted to scream, to throw something, to make him see what he was doing.

Instead, you turned away and spoke, your voice barely above a whisper. “If that’s what you want, Billy...fine.”

Billy hesitated, as if he wanted to say something else, but instead, he grabbed his jacket and headed for the door. “I’ll see you around,” he muttered before walking out.

The door slammed shut, and you stood frozen, the sound echoing in her ears. You sank onto the couch, tears finally spilling over as the reality of his words hit you.

Casual. A break.

It felt like your entire world was crashing down. 

   🎶 .·:*¨🎶💋🎶¨*:·. 🎶

Y/N: “When we first “broke up”, we were on and off for about a two months. It was funny actually. Billy could go out and hook up with all the girls he wanted, but if I even got within 6 feet of another guy at like a bar or a party, he’d be right by my side immediately. Acting all tough and protective.” 

Karen: “He acted more like her boyfriend when they were casual more than when they were an actually item. Or actually- I don’t think they ever put a label on their whole situation to begin with. Billy just, expected her to act like a loving supportive girlfriend I guess.” 

“Anyways back to what I was saying, he acted so much more like her boyfriend now. Like I’m talking flowers, gifts, songs dedicated to her at gigs, spontaneous dates, everything. And if this was Y/N from when they first started going out, she would’ve loved it. But the Y/N that was going though it, the one that he broke, she wasn’t having any of it.” 

Y/N: “It was exhausting. Like I couldn’t read his fucking mind. When we were together-together we fought and he would be reminding me that I was replaceable. But when we were casual and I decided to talk to another guy, suddenly, I was his girl again.” 

“I don’t know what was up with him. But maybe he realized that all this time that he told me that I was replaceable, he never realized that he was just as replaceable.”

   🎶 .·:*¨🎶💋🎶¨*:·. 🎶

The party was in full swing, the air thick with laughter, music, and the faint smell of alcohol. You lean against the counter in the kitchen, sipping a drink as you chatted with a guy, James, a bassist from a smaller band. His jokes had you laughing, his easy demeanor a welcome distraction from a certain someone.

Across the room, Billy was perched on the arm of a couch, a beer in hand, his eyes locked on you. He barely registered Graham’s attempt to pull him into a conversation, too focused on the way you tilted your head back when you laughed, or the way James leaned in a little closer each time you spoke.

Karen appeared beside him, arms crossed. “You’re staring.”

Billy didn’t bother denying it. “What the hell does she think she’s doing?”

Karen smirked. “She’s talking to someone. Which, by the way, she’s allowed to do. You’re the one who wanted things ‘casual,’ remember?”

Billy scowled. “Yeah, well, I didn’t mean like this.”

“Of course you didn’t,” Karen muttered, rolling her eyes as Billy set down his beer and got to his feet. “Here we go again…” Karen mumbles to Graham as she point to Billy.

You only noticed him when he reached you, your smile fading. “Billy,” you said, your voice laced with warning.

“Hey, sweetheart,” Billy said, sliding an arm around your waist like it belonged there. He glanced at you, offering a tight smile. “Who’s this?”

“James,” you said, your voice sharp. “We were just talking.”

“Talking,” Billy echoed, nodding like he was considering the word. “Right. Looked like more than that from over there.”

You pulled away from his grip. “Billy, stop it.”

Billy turned to you, his expression softening in a way that felt like a performance. “Stop what, babydoll? Just saying hi to your friend.”

“You’re being ridiculous,” you hissed.

“Am I?” Billy said, raising an eyebrow. Then, without warning, he cupped your face and kissed you, his lips firm against yours.

You stared at him, stunned, before your shock melted into fury. “What the hell is wrong with you?” you said as James made an awkward exit.

“Relax,” Billy said, shrugging. “Just making sure everything’s clear.”

“It’s not clear, Billy!” you snapped. “We’re not—”

Before you could even finish, he kissed you again, this time softer but still with that same maddening sense of control. When he pulled back, his lips brushed against yours as he murmured, “You talk too much, you know that?”

Your breath hitched, but your glare didn’t waver. “You’re an ass.”

“Maybe,” he said, grinning now. “But you like me anyway.”

He leaned in a third time, this kiss slower, deeper, like he had something to prove. By the time he pulled back, your fists were clenched at your sides, you just wanted him to go away.

“Let’s go upstairs,” Billy said, his voice low and coaxing. His hand slid to your waist again, his thumb brushing against the fabric of your dress.

You stepped back, glaring at him. “Are you insane? I’m not going anywhere with you.”

“Come on, sweetheart,” he said, his grin widening as he moved closer. “You don’t really want to be down here talking to him, do you? Let’s get out of here.”

“You’re unbelievable,” you said as your voice rose. “You think you can just— just act like this?”

Billy groaned, “Stop overreacting.” 

“No! I’m tired of this Billy! You hook up with girls all the time! But the minute I get close to another guy suddenly you act like you’re my boyfriend! Make up your fucking mind!”

Billy stands there, not saying a word. 

“That’s what I thought.”

You turn your back to him. “If you can’t makeup your mind Billy, we’re done. No more casual shit. We’re done for good.” 

   🎶 .·:*¨🎶💋🎶¨*:·. 🎶

Y/N: “I was getting sick and tired of everything. I was getting to my breaking point.” 

“I wanted out. So badly. I wanted out.” 

“I didn’t go home with the band that night. I just decided to go back to my apartment alone.” 

She goes quiet

“That night was probably one of the most terrifying nights of my life.”

Warren: “After y/n left, Billy went on a fucking spiral. We all tried to get him to stop. But he just— he wouldn’t.” 

Eddie: “We took our eyes off of him for a minute. We had left him on a couch and we were all getting ready to leave.” 

“But when we looked at the couch, he was gone, and Graham couldn’t find his car keys.” 

Graham: “We all bolted outside, the van was gone, Billy was gone, We put two and two together pretty quickly. Billy had the fucking car, and God knows where he was going.” 

Karen: “I called y/n, I thought maybe she would’ve heard from him. But she hadn’t. Til she did.”

   🎶 .·:*¨🎶💋🎶¨*:·. 🎶

The phone rang, sharp and jarring in the suffocating silence of your apartment. You stared at it, dread already curling in your chest. It was late, too late for anyone to be calling unless it was bad news. Slowly, you lifted the receiver, your hand trembling.

“Hello?”

“Don’t hang up.” Billy’s voice was slurred, each word dragging, his tone uneven and teetering on the edge of something dangerous.

Your heart plummeted. “Billy?” you whispered, already knowing the answer. “Are you drunk?”

He laughed bitterly, the sound crackling through the line like static. “What do you think?”

“Where are you?” Your voice came out sharper than you intended, panic rising like a tide.

“Driving.”

 “You’re what?”

“Relax,” he drawled, the casualness in his voice making your stomach churn. “I’m fine. Better than fine.”

“You’re not fine!” you shouted, gripping the phone so tightly the cord twisted in your hand. “Pull over. Billy, for the love of God, pull over!”

“Why?” he asked, his tone laced with mockery. “You don’t care anymore, remember? You said you were done with me. So why do you care what I do?”

“Because I don’t want you to kill yourself, you idiot!” Your voice cracked, tears already spilling over.

There was silence on the other end, save for the faint hum of the engine and the occasional rush of passing cars. You clutched the phone like it was the only thing tethering you to him, your breath coming in shallow gasps.

“Maybe that’s what I should do,” he muttered, the words barely audible but hitting you like a punch to the gut. “You’d probably like that, wouldn’t you? Then you wouldn’t have to deal with me anymore.”

“Don’t say that,” you choked out, panic clawing at your throat. “Billy, please. Just pull over. Tell me where you are, and I’ll come get you. We can talk—”

“Talk?” He cut you off with a harsh laugh, but there was something broken beneath it, something that made your chest ache. “You don’t want to talk. You want to fix me. Newsflash, sweetheart—I’m beyond fixing.”

“Stop it!” you screamed, your voice shaking with desperation. “Stop talking like that! You’re scaring me!”

“Good,” he spat. “Maybe you should be scared. Maybe then you’ll understand how it feels. How you make me feel.”

Your knees buckled, and you slid down the wall, the phone cord stretching taut as you sank to the floor. “Billy, I’m begging you,” you whispered, tears streaming down your face. “Just stop. Pull over. Please.”

For a moment, you thought he might listen. The line went quiet, save for the sound of his breathing. But then he spoke, his voice low and cold.

“You made your choice, Y/N. You’re done with me, right? Fine. Let’s see how you feel when I’m really gone.”

The line went dead.

“Billy? Billy!” You screamed into the receiver, the sound echoing in the emptiness of your apartment. But there was nothing—just the hollow, unrelenting silence.

You fumbled with the rotary dial, your fingers trembling so violently it took you several tries to get Karen’s number. When she finally picked up, her voice was a lifeline.

“Karen,” you gasped, barely able to breathe. “Billy’s driving- He’s drunk- He called me, but I don’t know where he is.”

Karen swore under her breath, her voice tight with fear. “We’re looking for him. He took the van. Just try to calm down Y/N. We’ll find him.”

The line went dead again, and you were left alone with your thoughts, each one darker than the last. You pressed your hands to your face, rocking back and forth as sobs wracked your body.

  🎶 .·:*¨🎶💋🎶¨*:·. 🎶

Y/N: “I waited by the phone for about 30 minutes, but it felt like hours. I just… I sat there, frozen. I didn’t know what to do. I mean, what do you do when someone you love is so determined to self-destruct?”

Eddie: “We found the van on the side of the road eventually. It was pulled over halfway into a ditch, and Billy was just sitting there, slumped over the steering wheel like he didn’t care if the whole world fell apart around him.”

Karen: “When we got to him, he wouldn’t even look at us. Just kept asking for her. For Y/N. Over and over, like we weren’t even there.”

Y/N: “Karen called me and told me they’d found him, but she said he was asking for me. I didn’t want to go. I couldn’t—because I knew if I saw him like that, I’d break. But at the same time, I couldn’t just leave him.”

Billy: “I don’t remember much from that night. Just that I felt like everything was slipping away. The band, Y/N… all of it. And I didn’t know how to stop it. So, yeah, I got in the van, and I drove. Stupid, right?”

Y/N: “When I got there, he looked at me like I was his lifeline. Like I was the only thing keeping him afloat. And part of me wanted to be that for him, but another part of me… I was angry. I was so, so angry.”

Billy: “She looked at me like I was the biggest disappointment in the world. And, hell, maybe I was. But I couldn’t lose her. Not her. So I said whatever I thought would make her stay.”

Y/N: “He kept saying he’d change. That he’d fix everything. But how many times can you hear the same promise before you realize it’s empty?”

Karen: “That night should’ve been a wake-up call for all of us. For him. But it wasn’t. Not really.”

Y/N: “I realized I really couldn’t save him. No matter how much I wanted to.”

“But that didn’t stop me from taking him back.” 

“We started the whole cycle again. Except…this time— when I was done, I really was done. 

  🎶 .·:*¨🎶💋🎶¨*:·. 🎶

You and the band were rehearsing for a gig. Your gig. It had been a year since your 1st album came out and the label thought it would be the perfect time to announce your very first tour. 

It had been about a month since the van incident, and you would think that you and Billy would be good, better than before. But you weren’t. 

You were worse. And you didn’t know how much you could take anymore. 

You thought that after everything, he would stop. The drugs, drinking, cheating, everything.

But he didn’t. You were back to square one. 

And you were the idiot that took him back. 

You had been acting off all day, during rehearsals you were in a daze, your mind wandering to all the things that had gone wrong lately. Every note you sang felt hollow, every lyric a cruel reminder of how much your life had spiraled.

Karen kept shooting you concerned glances. Warren tried cracking a joke to lighten the mood, but you barely registered it. Even Billy had noticed.

"Y/N, you good?" he asked during a break, leaning in close like he cared. But his tone carried a sharp edge—like he was annoyed more than worried.

"I'm fine," you said quickly, brushing him off.

But you weren’t, and as show time came closer, that urge. That horrible urge came back. 

The bottle was right there. Right on your vanity. 

Sure you had only been clean for about 3 months, but you needed it. 

"Y/N, you’re on in ten!" a stagehand called through the door, snapping you out of your haze.

Your hand recoiled like the bottle had burned you, and you stood up too quickly, the room tilting slightly. You gripped the edge of the vanity to steady yourself, inhaling sharply. But you couldn’t resist. Before you knew it, you were drinking straight from the bottle. 

The first song started okay. Your voice was steady, and you kept your eyes on the crowd, pretending you couldn’t feel the way your legs shook beneath you.

But by the second song, your mind began to race.

Billy was standing off to the side of the stage, leaning against an amp with his arms crossed. His gaze was locked on you, intense and unreadable.

It was suffocating.

Your vision started to blur, and the world seemed to spin. Your hands gripped the mic stand so tightly your knuckles turned white.

You missed a lyric.

The band hesitated, just for a beat, but they kept playing. You tried to jump back in, but your voice wavered, cracking mid-note.

The crowd noticed.

A ripple of confusion moved through the audience.

And then it happened. The panic hit you like a wave, knocking the breath out of your lungs. Your chest tightened, your hands went numb, and the lights felt blindingly bright.

You stepped back, shaking your head as the band kept playing, unsure what to do.

"I—" you managed to say, your voice barely audible, before you turned and bolted off the stage.

  🎶 .·:*¨🎶💋🎶¨*:·. 🎶

Karen: "We didn’t know what was happening. She just... ran. One minute she was there, and the next, she was gone."

Billy: “I ran to her greenroom, but her stuff was gone. Everything except the heart shaped guitar pick necklace that I had given her as a gift.” 

Warren: "We didn’t hear from her for days. No calls, no messages. Nothing. It was like she disappeared."

Eddie: “We all decided that we were gonna go by her place after a week with no contact. But when we got there, it was empty. Completely.” 

Graham: “We went back to our place to try to call her again, and someone did finally pick up the phone. But it wasn’t her, it was Teddy.” 

Karen: “He told us that he knew where she was and to not worry.”

“But Billy demanded to know where she was.” 

Billy: “He wouldn’t tell us. He wouldn’t tell us anything.”

“She was just gone.” 

Y/N: Quiet at first

“I always thought I was like Billy at first. I thought we were the same. Then I thuought that I could fix him."

"But I realized I didn’t want to be like him anymore. I didn't want to be the one responsible for fixing him. I didn’t want to be chasing my next high all the time. I didn’t want to be waiting for him at the end of everyday. I didn’t want to fall asleep crying anymore. I didn’t want to feel this pain anymore.”

“I wanted better for myself.” 

“So I decided to leave L.A.”  

A/N: DRAMMAMAMAMAMMMAMA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ok this OFFICIALLY marks the end of 1977. and now begins readers YEAR LONG disappearance.

i really hope u guys enjoyed this one, i LOVED putting this together and like it is my favorite part i've written so far.

(REQUESTS R OPEN IF U GUYS WANNA CHAT ABT THIS PART TOO!!)