#i’ve read it twice since i finished it last night ITS SO GOOD !!!!!
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i love angst so much. put those blorbos in the most hideously traumatizing situation of all time. just for me <3
#read this fic last night where the climax is the two of them r pinned chest to chest under the rubble of a building while the one on top#is slowly dying and also they’re in love but haven’t told each other yet. and now one might die while the other watches.#i’ve read it twice since i finished it last night ITS SO GOOD !!!!!#also theyre soulmates but don’t know it yet. each one thinks they’re not good enough but just wants to be w the other until the other finds#their actual mate I LOVE FIC !!!!!!!
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My whole life just kinda crumbled out of nowhere. I’m putting it under the cut to not clog up the feed and honestly this is more for me to just…get it out than an expectation of everyone reading/responding.
I mentioned having to pack and move because my roommates are divorcing and selling the house. The timeline for this has moved up much faster than I anticipated and on Sunday we sat down and figured out the new timeline. Which is, I need to get finished this week, get a storage unit this weekend and be ready for the movers early next week.
This is stress enough on its own. While I have somewhere to go temporarily (my friend Michelle, bless, is gonna let me crash there) there’s still the heartbreak of leaving the place that I finally felt…settled. I’ve moved 16 times in my life, 11 of those have been since I’ve been an adult. This of course left me with that paranoia of “something is gonna happen and you’ll have to move again” just ALWAYS right there. But this last move, into the house they had built, it felt permanent. Not at first of course, but after the first 2 years I got comfortable.
So now I’m going back to the weird sad nomad period. But I have a second level or heartache that’s even worse. And that’s being separated from the cats. They aren’t “mine” as we all have raised them since they were kittens. But, I’m clearly not moving into my own space and I can’t take them. Mat has promised they won’t be split up and that they are keeping them, at least until I get my own place and can take them. They love them too, but they know I’m more attached.
And then. Monday. I was fired from the job I’ve had for nearly 6 years. I worked with adults with intellectual and/or developmental disabilities. I fucking loved it. Love my clients. But the company has gone through a bunch of management changes and the most recent ones just seemed hell bent on getting rid of the “old guard.” I’d been written up twice for note getting notes in on time. Then I got written up again for driving the company car home without getting permission. Which, to be fair, was against company policy. I fucked up. I had a good reason for it - my car is running like shit, my tags are expired and I can’t get them renewed because of unpaid bridge tolls - which are currently being disputed because I filed bankruptcy last April and they should have been included. Basically, it was drive it home and back or not be able to get to work at all. I live 40 minutes away from work. So yeah, I broke a rule. But I paid for the gas to do so.
But despite being the one they call for emergencies or to handle after 5pm issues because they knew I would do it and that I have no life outside of work, despite picking up extra 12 hour shifts ON TOP of the 40 hours I put in in my department regularly for 4 years, they couldn’t see past this transgression and fired me.
I’m devastated. My clients, I have spent 40+ hours with these folks every week (sometimes more) for nearly SIX YEARS. And now, those relationships, those routines are just gone. I told them they can still call me and that I’d still come visit eventually but I honestly don’t know when that could happen. Like, I don’t wanna ruffle feathers at the company by doing that. I just don’t know how it’s gonna work.
So to recap - I’m losing my home, losing my cats and have lost my job and income and lost these incredibly important relationships all within just a week. It’s Wednesday night. I was fired Monday. I have to move Tuesday.
To be super cliché, when it rains, it pours.
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13 Books Meme
Since @kuwdora asked...here are my answers :D
1) The Last book I read: So I'm a Spider, so What? Vol 13. This series has been dragging on for *years* for me. It isn't bad, I'm just slow and busy. I am on Vol 14 right now and there are only 16, so I could finish in a week if I motivated myself. Each book is only ~250 pages. I'll finish soon.
2) A book I recommend: Death With Interruptions by Jose Saramago
3) A book that I couldn’t put down: The Amulet of Samarkand by Jonathan Stroud
4) A book I’ve read twice (or more): The Divine Comedy by Dante Alighieri
5) A book on my TBR: The Worm Ouroboros by Eddison
6) A book I’ve put down: This is tricky I'm really mule headed with books and will force myself to read it to the point of hating things :3. The last one I recall was Oyasumi Pun Pun (Good Night Pun Pun) because it made me severely depressed and I couldn't go on. It was too real. I've also done this maybe 3 or 4 times with the Eye of the World.
7) A book on my wish list: The Locked Tomb Trilogy -- I should read these after the spider book :3.
8) A favorite book from childhood: Anything Redwall by Brian Jacques. I have very fond memories of Marlfox because I think that was the first one I read. But Loamhendge too since I got it for a Christmas give
9) A book you would give to a friend: The Aleph and Other Stories by Borges or Arrival by Ted Chiang. (The former inspired the latter in a lot of ways and the short story format is so well done by these two and so clever!)
10) A book of poetry or lyrics that you own: Not sure if I have anything here.
11) A nonfiction book you own: Damned to Fame: The Life of Samuel Beckett by James Knowlson.
12) What are you currently reading: So I'm a spider, so what Vol 14. Hurr hurr.
13) What are you planning on reading next? Ok Its really vol 15 and 16 after the previous question. But I did get the very pretty box set for A Series of Unfortunate Events and should read those and I've had the Beatrice Letters for ages to read as well. This is in order to edit better but also I have a plan to do a series of long form tumblr posts comparing Dante's Inferno to that series.
I need to tag people now... that is the hardest part. I suppose I will go, if they want to participate, with @littlestsnicket @phenoct and @tangentiallly for variety (I know what some of you read fandom wise, but outside -- well I know that a bit too...)
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A Wes Anderson-esque Review of The Wonderful Story of Henry Sugar
July 8th, 2074
“Images do not stay in my memory for long. It’s a curse I have been dealing with throughout my life. I forget the face of every person I meet, which sometimes even includes my close friends. To my fortune, I am gifted with the ability to remember words. I can memorise an entire book of 3000 pages by reading it just once,” he says as he finishes his meal.
“That’s incredible. You must have read a lot of books,” I say.
“In my younger days, I’d fritter my time away reading hundreds of books which never piqued my interest. I did it because it seemed to be the best use of my ability until I realised that it was my fellow humans who fascinated me. I took more joy in conversing with a random stranger during travel than in reading Sartre.
Which brings me to the creepiest aspect of my ability, which is that I can recite a whole conversation I had with another person word-for-word. The time and place of the conversation don’t matter in the least because I remember every word every person spoke in front of me ever since I was five years old.
Now, at my frail old age, death looms over me and most people I’ve met in my life have passed away. But they were never forgotten, and I must ensure, at the best of my ability, that it remains that way, which is why I asked you to create this collection of interesting conversations I had over the years.”
I assure him with a smile.
“So, shall we start?” he asks.
“Sure, do you have anything in mind for the first one?”
“Yes, I do. I want to kick off with something light-hearted.”
“Good to hear.” I press record on my device. “You can start,” I say.
“The following is a conversation I indulged on 28th September 2023 with a man whose name I didn’t bother to ask.
Before the city became uninhabitable due to climate change, Chennai used to be densely populated, where summers lasted for ten months. I was in the backseat of an autorickshaw, the one where you share the ride. I was accompanied by a young man in his mid-20s, whose face I don’t remember. Not even the details, there weren’t any oddities about him. He probably looked like everyone else.
Most people don’t like to be bothered and are comfortable with being quiet. People who’d like to be bothered become restless when in front of abject silence. Symptoms: tendency to be fidgety and shaky legs. It’s not always the case but you can rely on it as an effective measure to avoid throwing yourself into awkward situations.
To my luck, he was kind enough to take the burden of having to start a conversation away from me. He pointed at some place which was likely a house or an apartment complex and said, “That’s where I grew up.”
I’ll spare you the small talk. He was a screenwriter and was involved in the cinema business, something that I always ignored due to my condition. A famous filmmaker, Wes Anderson, had released a short film called “The Wonderful Story of Henry Sugar.” I lied that I knew about this director and he didn’t think twice before he started to talk about his experience of watching the film.
On the surface, it seems like a gimmick. Anderson, who is a student of French New Wave films must just be paying tribute to Truffaut’s Day For Night. But for FOUR CONSECUTIVE FILMS? There must be something more to it, and Henry Sugar helped me figure it out.
Suspension of disbelief takes place when a reader or a viewer is completely immersed in the world created by the author where the illusion is so strong that the laws of reality don’t matter anymore. Every film has its own unique set of rules, colours, costumes, style of acting, etc., Everything must come together as a cohesive experience for the audience to be immersed. If a film strays away from its ‘rules,’ let’s say the colour tone of Grand Budapest Hotel suddenly changes to the one from Asteroid City, or Adrien Brody gives a Shakespearean monologue in The Darjeeling Limited, the illusion will be broken.
The more whimsical the ‘rules’ are, the harder it is to establish them. It’s easy to set up a film like Rushmore where the ‘rules’ are somewhat grounded in reality. Isle of Dogs and Fantastic Mr. Fox had the luxury of being animated. The same can’t be said for his recent live-action films where the characters don’t talk or act like real people. Thus, the story-within-story trope allows Wes Anderson to establish his world. Henry Sugar takes it to the extreme with its frequent fourth wall breaks, allowing Wes Anderson to not be limited by expectations of realism and conventional storytelling.
Asteroid City, for example, could work without Bryan Cranston’s TV show segments, but they embellish the overall experience. When a film called Asteroid City starts with a character saying “Asteroid City does not exist,” you observe the movie and its characters from a detached perspective.
As soon as I finished watching The Wonderful Story of Henry Sugar, I read the original short story by Roald Dahl. I know film adaptations that are better than their source material, but I’ve never seen a filmmaker take an awful book and make it charming. Wes Anderson uses a fusion of audiobook and stage-play style of narration where the characters narrate the action instead of performing it. The visuals exist merely as an aid and not the primary storytelling device. You can understand 95% of the film with your eyes closed.
Roald Dahl makes the classic mistake of ‘telling’ and not ‘showing�� throughout the story which takes the reader out of the immersion. Anderson, on the other hand, takes it to the extreme to the point it is ridiculous. It takes you out of the immersion as well but in a good way,” he paused.
“I think I have to get down here. It was nice talking to you,” he said. We shook hands and he got out of the autorickshaw.”
“It wasn’t exactly a conversation, was it? It was more of a monologue,” I say.
The old man shrugged.
“Did you watch the film?” I ask.
“I did. Many times, actually. I used to resist cinema because ‘what’s the point if I can’t remember any of the frames’ but then when I rewatched The Wonderful Story of Henry Sugar, I realised that I could experience the cinematography again and feel the same way I did for the first time, a luxury I never had with words. I could never feel anything when my wife tells me that she loves me because I remember the ten thousand times she said it before. It’s good to forget just a little.
I began to appreciate the images I encounter in my everyday life. Every time I look at the eyes of the love of my life, I see the glint in her eye with affection I’ve never seen before. And of course, I began to appreciate cinema. Although, I don’t remember many of the films, except for some Wes Anderson that were basically audiobooks.”
“Why didn’t you ask his name?” I ask.
“I never thought about it. Perhaps the ‘monologue,’ as you’d call it, made me see the beauty in the unknown.”
I stop the recording.
“It was nice talking to you. I will write them down, and uh…”
“You can call me,” the old man writes down his number on a tissue paper and hands it over to me.
“Thank you so much,” I say as I get up from my seat.
“And my name is”
“No. Let’s not share our names,” I say with a smile.
I leave the dining hall to return to my hotel room. On my way in the elevator, I open my device to add The Wonderful Story of Henry Sugar to my watchlist.
#wes anderson#film review#movies#cinema#book#film recommendations#short story#cinematography#benedict cumberbatch#dev patel#robert yeoman#richard ayoade#ben kingsley
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DeBoer seeks ‘redo’ on heated exchange
Tim Cowlishaw
Asked if fatigue was a factor in Game 5 loss, he said it’s no excuse Wayne Gretzky has called this Western Conference finals the most unpredictable series he has ever seen.
Maybe that helps explain how Stars coach Pete DeBoer was telling me he hadn’t seen me all year and to write “whatever the f--- you’re gonna write” late Friday night, and yet by early Saturday afternoon DeBoer confided he enjoys reading my column on all sports and asked for a “redo” on my question.
These are tough times for everyone.
The Stars are down 3-2 in a series they led 2-1 just four days ago.
This is the first time they have faced elimination since Game 7 against Vegas, a winner-take-all home game — which, despite the Stars’ sparkling road record, was still a more favorable situation than needing to beat the Oilers twice starting Sunday night in Edmonton.
So when I asked DeBoer about his team’s lifeless performance Friday, he snapped and said I was questioning his team‘s character and did the whole bit about not having seen me all year even though he saw me and answered my questions on his team’s fatigue that morning.
It happens.
I’ve had a lot worse blowups from Tex Schramm and Jimmy Johnson and even Don Nelson that just never made TV or social media.
Before the Stars took off for Canada on Saturday, they had a brief availability at Love Field, where I asked DeBoer if it helps that the Stars have already won back-to-back games once in this series.
“Yeah. That’s a good question, Tim,” DeBoer said, letting out a hearty laugh. “Let’s do a redo.”
On Saturday, DeBoer was back to being the confident coach who operates in conference finals on almost an annual basis.
Friday night, after a lackluster 3-1 loss, he was a man perhaps speculating on how the Stanley Cup was eluding him once again.
But getting ready to hop on a plane and take the best road team to Edmonton to do its thing has a way of being both invigorating and relaxing.
“Again to last night, if I had a redo on your question, this team — and I’m not saying you were, but I took it that way in an emotional moment after the game — the one thing we can’t question was our commitment, our care or our character,” DeBoer said. “This team was in third place [in the Central Division] with eight weeks left in the season, found a way to win the conference and push for the Presidents’ Trophy [falling one point short of New York].
“Then it was down against the last two Stanley Cup champs in rounds one and two, including 2-0 going into Las Vegas. Found a way to get off the mat, win those series. So I get the question, I get how it felt last night, but I’ve got a lot of confidence in the character of the room.”
When I mentioned that my question was directed more at possible fatigue, especially having had to stretch his thin defensive group to the point where Miro Heiskanen leads active players in minutes played, Esa Lindell is tied for second, Thomas Harley is fifth and Chris Tanev would be sixth if not for minutes missed with a leg injury in Game 4, DeBoer said, “And you know what, that’s a really fair point. But we’re not going to use that as an excuse. If it’s real, it might be, but that can’t come into play this time of year.”
The Stars aren’t finished yet.
Edmonton has gained the upper hand by scoring eight straight goals to take Games 4 and 5, and Connor McDavid and Leon Draisaitl, two of the world’s best, are feeling awfully close to their first Cup Final.
But they still have to get there. A resilient Dallas team, much better on the road than at home throughout these playoffs, has work to do Sunday night just to keep Game 7 alive.
There are no more redos for mistakes of any kind.
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BOOK REVIEW: TIM MCGREGOR'S WASPS IN THE ICE CREAM
by Elizabeth Broadbent, Staff Writer.
Since moving to A Real City (holla, RVA!), our local bookstore has a decent horror section: yes, we have the legendary Libbie Barnes & Noble. Our family hit it up Saturday, when I snagged Tim McGregor’s Wasps in the Ice Cream, one of the newest from Raw Dog Screaming Press. I havea long TBR stack of ARCs. There was guilt. BUT BOOKS!
On Sunday, my husband’s birthday, global warming gifted us with a day of daffodils and blooming Bradford pears. The fam hiked two miles—the farthest I’ve walked since receiving iron infusions for severe anemia. Anemia leaves you exhausted. I was proud. I was tired.
I promise, I’ll get to the book.
Afterward, I decided to soak in my heart-shaped enormo-tub, a trashy upper-middle-class indulgence I shouldn’t enjoy so much. This tub is surrounded by more than twenty candles, mostly tea lights in seashells, because I am a decadent bitch (I swear I’m not as basic as this sounds). I’d just finished one ARC, and I wanted a break from screens, so I snagged Wasps in the Ice Cream. This was supposed to be... shortish. Maybe half an hour, pre-nap.
Cue the 1980s.
Mark’s outgrown his childhood besties: Kombat Kevin, perpetually stuck in his “let’s throw some fireworks at each other for fun” phase, and Eric, always a little slow on the uptake. On a summer-doldrum night, Mark notices the mysterious Farrow sisters in the grocery store. You know them: the creepy homeschooled girls shut up in a run-down gothic mansion. Once, their family owned most of town, and they lost everything but their snobbery. Their reclusiveness has fueled rampant rumors. They’re weird; they’re shunned; they shun everyone. Mark’s dumbass friends play a stupid prank on them, and despite his reluctance, he joins in—and feels horrible.
As penance, he tries to befriend the middle sister, George. Her attitude at first—well, “standoffish” is polite. But slowly, they become friends, and...
My tea lights began to burn out. Usually, I scramble to light more.
I noticed the candles only in retrospect.
I kept reading.
Time passed. I refreshed my hot water—once? Twice?—book in hand. Tea lights continued winking out. Eventually, I turned the last page; I was weeping; and my sunlit bathroom had turned to candlelight. Somewhere downstairs, someone was yelling about birthday cake. This sounds overdramatic. It’s true.
When this book launched, I saw it everywhere, liked the cover, and thought, huh, maybe I ought to read that. Maybe you should have read this yesterday. The pacing’s taut. The characters are vivid. I ached not only for big plot points, but small ones, too: a visit to Gramma’s house left me crying. I believed in Mark. His struggle to fit in two worlds was real; all those little details of high school rang true. Those details made Wasps in the Ice Cream devastatingly authentic, but they pained me: a good pain, because they were genuine; a wincing pain, because I remembered them too well.
I also remembered those small-town summer doldrums, that nothing-to-do, the desperation for anything to happen. I remember that yearning to leave. I could have slipped into their skins: into Mark’s desperate desire to fit in; into George’s painful isolation; even into Kevin’s appetite for destruction. Don’t you remember those stars stuck to your ceiling, the ones that never glowed?
Maybe that’s why I loved this book so much: despite its touches of the supernatural, it’s a true story. In my favorite Steinbeck novel, Sweet Thursday (no one reads Steinbeck anymore), Doc says, “A thing isn't necessarily a lie even if it didn't necessarily happen.” I believe it. I believe it all.
Yes, the prose is great. Yes, the plotting is remarkable. Yes, it’s a great book.
But I believe it. A book you can believe in is a precious thing. Why, out of all of Stephen King’s novels, does Pet Semetary slam us hardest? Because it’s the truest (I’ll die on that hill).
We return to our mirrors. We examine our own sins and look for our redemption. We want a good story, yes—but in the end, we’re all Narcissus, and we seek our own reflections. Wasps in the Ice Cream holds up a mirror. Tim McGregor has handed us something special, and massive kudos to Raw Dog Screaming Press for pubbing this one. Pick it up. You won’t regret it.
& follow the author:
Twitter: @ TimMcGregor1
#review#gothic fiction#fiction#short fiction#gothic literature#book review#horror books#fiction review#horror fiction#horror literature#indie lit#indie literature#indie press#indie horror
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Thank you so much, @wheel-of-fish!
1) The last book I read:
The Judgment of Paris by Ross King. It's a wonderful nonfiction work originally recommended by @les-gnossiennes-fantomatiques, and I've recommended it to others (including my mom).
2) A book I recommend:
Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter and its sequel The Last American Vampire, by Seth Grahame-Smith. Despite the silly-sounding premise, they're actually quite good, and the author clearly had a lot of fun doing his research and figuring out where and how to insert vampires into Western history (if you liked What We Do In The Shadows, you'll probably like these as well).
3) A book that I couldn’t put down:
I have a vivid memory from when I was 10-11 of staying up most of the night to finish Redwall by Brian Jacques. As an adult, I was fascinated by The Ghost Map by Steven Johnson.
4) A book I’ve read twice (or more):
The Stand by Stephen King -- I've re-read it every couple of years since I was 14.
5) A book on my TBR:
The Passion of Cleopatra by Anne and Christopher Rice. I remember enjoying the first Ramses the Damned book when I was a teenager (even though I was an ancient Egypt nerd who knew that a lot of the history details were wrong), so at some point I should probably check out the sequels as well.
6) A book I’ve put down:
I couldn't get through the first Twilight book because I found Bella Swan's POV so unlikeable (I don't mind protagonists who are meant to be deeply flawed and/or unreliable narrators, but I know Bella isn't).
7) A book on my wish list:
Raising Steam by Terry Pratchett. As big a Discworld fan as I am, I still have yet to read the last book (probably because part of me knows that once I do, there'll be no more to look forward to ... and now I've made myself sad).
8) A favorite book from childhood:
The Ear, the Eye and the Arm by Nancy Farmer (and it's still one of my favorites).
9) A book you would give to a friend:
Good Omens by Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett. I've loved the book since high school, and loved the show as well, so I'd want anyone who enjoyed the latter to also check out the former.
[Where oh where is Number 10?]
11) A nonfiction book you own:
I, Rigoberta Menchú. I read it some years ago as research for an (unfinished) original novel with a Guatemalan-American protagonist.
12) What are you currently reading:
Ayn Rand and the World She Made by Anne C. Heller (I started it months ago and I'm trying to finish it now).
13) What are you planning on reading next?
I'll have to see what strikes my fancy :D
No shelfie right now because most of my hard copy books are still at my parents' house, but I'll be visiting them this weekend and can get one then.
Tagging: @cornistasiathecoblinking @wishuponastarion @nientedal @bluerayofsunshine @thoughtfulrxven
13 books!
I was tagged by @consistantly-changing (thanks!) to answer these 13 questions, tag 13 people and, if desired, add a shelfie! I looove this one!
1) The last book I read:
Emily Wilde's Encyclopaedia of Faeries by Heather Fawcett, which is a departure from my usual fare; I just wanted something fun and cozy. I was pleasantly surprised by how much I enjoyed it!
2) A book I recommend:
Ugh, so so many. uhhh how about The Vanishing Half by Brit Bennett
3) A book that I couldn’t put down:
My Brilliant Friend by Elena Ferrante (that whole series, really)
4) A book I’ve read twice (or more):
Uprooted by Naomi Novik
5) A book on my TBR:
A new one I'm excited about that I'm on the hold list for at the library is The Warm Hands of Ghosts by Katherine Arden.
6) A book I’ve put down:
Blood Meridian by Cormac McCarthy. I don't know if I wasn't in the right headspace for it, or if I'm just too dumb. Probably both. I would like to try it again sometime, though.
7) A book on my wish list:
The Handbook of Bird Biology by the Cornell Lab of Ornithology
8) A favorite book from childhood:
The Secret Garden. I had a really pretty illustrated copy. I still have it, actually!
9) A book you would give to a friend:
Gilead by Marilynne Robinson
[There is no No. 10 I guess?]
11) A nonfiction book you own:
The Warmth of Other Suns by Isabel Wilkerson ugggh it's so good
12) What are you currently reading:
Waiting by Ha Jin and The Art of Gathering by Priya Parker
13) What are you planning on reading next?
I won't actually know until I get to that point. My reading mood changes with the wind. :P
And a shelfie! It's a couple months old, but I don't feel like taking a new one. (fwiw, a LOT of these are used or gifted, and I prune/donate them regularly)
Tagging @glassprism @musicalhell @bogglebabbles @les-gnossiennes-fantomatiques @rjdaae @ladystormcrow @forestscribe4 @a-partofthenarrative @jennyfair7 @pianomanblaine @lucy-ghoul @dying-suffering-french-stalkers @lestatslestits
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There it is. The song that captures my mood for Winter Break and the past seven years.
I’ve been going through lots of things since November 2021. It doesn’t help that I’m still seeking a therapist since the end of HS graduation in 2015. All I knew at the time was going to college to be an engineer. I was so wrong. Same with getting into Computer Science.
Who would have thought 18-year-old me would grow up to work three different jobs, switch majors twice, and go back to grad school immediately after getting a Bachelors? Hell, I didn’t think I’d survive college with a gradually deteriorating mental state of mind or stay longer than a year with the transportation office as a Parking Enforcement Officer.
A lot of people came and went at that workplace. I stayed longer than most office staff - 7 years. You know what the strangest part is? I almost didn’t get the job because of my anxiety. “Give him a couple days, then let him go if he’s not up for it,” an old coworker said. Those couple of days turned into a couple of years. That was my life: clock in, gear up, and go out to explore the university life with its half-warm, half-cold cars or last weekend’s intimate details. No one watching me but my friends - coworker or not. Damn, I miss the bar hopping. I’m not a drinker, but I enjoyed the moments when everyone else drank and I was there to support them and their not-so-conscious state. Or the time everyone went to the fair during the summer of 2017. Or a moment in late spring 2017 when we partied at one dorm and I stayed over because of a MAX shooting. Or one time I slept at a friend’s couch after a night out of sharing good times while I was far from home that summer in 2018 (and leaving a $20 tip the next morning for their kindness before riding the bus back home).
Now that I look at where I am at this moment, so much stuff has happened since 2019. My mom got cancer on my last undergrad year, I pushed back on my graduation to 2020, the damn COVID pandemic tore the world apart, I lost my grandpa in April 2021, I jumped back to grad school in the summer of 2020, I visited Utah (and my then-partner) a few times, my third family was with my graduate colleagues, my siblings got married to their wonderful partners, I nearly lost my position as a Student Teacher, my graduate program was finished, I had a breakup with the best partner anyone could ask for, I lost a great friend (they’re still alive), I finally had vacations my family dreamed about, I found a job as a teacher, and I had my tearful goodbye with the transportation office. So many things to talk about. So many moments to remember. I can’t find the words to express how grateful I am. It’s also hard to explain how scared I was for things I set my mind to.
It’s hard to accept those changes all at once. My brain can’t handle the overload. I’ll get better at it one day.
Thanks for reading my thoughts, friend. We should chat some time soon. I’d love to hear from you.
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I just found ur blog and read thru some of ur stuff and im in love !! Ur writing is nice to read, and always gives a nice picture of the situation
If its aight, could u do some headcannons for the demon bros Finding out mc goes real hard on housekeeping ? Im talking fast and good cleaning, does chores without problems, propably even cleans after them (totally doesnt mother them in anyway), all without complaint, mc just cares
Housekeeper MC!
(Feat. GN!MC and the Demon Bros)
✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦
Lucifer
The fact that he didn't have to shove a mop and bucket into your hands like the evil stepmother has him like 👀👀
Out of every person he's met, you and Barb are the only ones that actually enjoy cleaning? And now he's wondering if you've been influenced by him in some way because got damn are those floors sparkling-
Ever since you've arrived, the house has been immaculate. But as much as he enjoys that, he worries that you aren't leaving enough chores for his brothers to do.
They're gonna be lazy at this rate, especially if you keep cleaning up after them like that. He's planning to sit you down and have a good talk about how you should rest a bit, and- D...did you polish his desk????
"MC... as grateful as I am to you, I thought I asked you to rest? You don't have to clean every little thing in this house. You're here as our guest, and more, so I won't have you behaving like a maid. But if you're that interested in keeping your hands busy, you may feel free to maintain my desktop. It looks as good as new, thanks to you."
Mammon
Oh, so you're one of THOSE types, huh? The goody goodies that like to make everything clean and sparkly, huh?? Well don't expect him to help ya!
Was an asshole at first. Made messes to see if you'd clean them, tried to dump his chores on you, etc. But now that you've stolen his heart? Yeah, he wants you to sit down.
You're messing up your hands with all that time spent scrubbing crevices and dusting ugly old paintings, when you could be spending time with him!
Tch, that's it! If it's chores that're keeping you from looking his way, he'll just finish them before you can do anything! Checkmate!
"You're always scrubbin' somethin'! Let my brothers take care of the messes, while YOU sit down and watch this movie with me! Ain't no point in watchin' it by myself, so I ain't takin' no for an answer!" "Huh?? Waddya mean 'when was the last time I vacuumed'??"
Levi
Oi oi oi...! What do you think you're doing with that feather duster?! You don't think you've got the right to approach his figures with it, do you?! WRONG!
But you quickly discover how ticklish Levi is, and he squirms out of your way while watching in horror as you... delicately handle every figure? And dust them from top to bottom, without so much as an accessory out of place..?
Wait... are you seriously okay with picking up all that trash?? S-some of it's sticky from all the junk food, and- Gah! Don't go messing around in his closet!!!
Yeahhh Levi doesn't let you clean his room lmao. It's way too stimulating to watch you carefully touch every surface in his room... I-it's like you're heaven everything with your presence, and...
"S-so yeah! The only things you're allowed to clean are the figures and the outside of Henry's tank! Nothing else, got it?! Anything more and I seriously won't be able to handle it...I won't even be able to sit still in my own room......." 👉👈
Satan
Satan found it funny how willing you were to take up every little chore there was to be done in the house and he's got to admit, reading is much more enjoyable in a tidy environment.
But what he REALLY wants to know is how you managed to dust off every single book in the house, his room included, without him?? Knowing?? And you've done every shelf as well, cleaned out the cobwebs behind it, and even repaired that little tear in the upholstery of his favorite arm chair????
Has also deduced that you're probably the maid character in the books that knows everything. Actually, you're a lot like Barbatos. What secrets are you hiding human 🔫
Just kidding. But yeah, when you insist on dusting his room, he follows you around the room and watches you. You know, just in case you fall or something falls on you! No other reason.
"As much as I like having you here all to myself, it makes me feel bad watching you do that by yourself. Why don't you we clean together? We'll get it done twice as fast, and when we're finished, I'd like to read a book to you. You remind me of a certain character from a murder mystery novel I've started."
Asmo
Eeehhh?!?!? You've seriously managed to organize both his endless skin care product collection, and his ENTIRE wardrobe?!? You're amazing...!
And you don't stop there. You were more than happy to clean his tub for him and everything, and you know how hard it is to get oil off the side of a tub, right? You're a lifesaver!
Asmo casually pawns off his chores too you. Oh, he just did his nails! Can you do the dishes? Ah, he just bought this outfit. Can you take out the trash? He's about to go out with his friends to a party, so be a dear and take care of the common bathroom for him?
Lucifer scolds the shit out of him every time he catches him doing that. You're welcome. But don't think Asmo won't repay you! He'll give you so much love, you'll be drowning in it! Figuratively or literally, depending on your preferences-
"Fufufu... if you wanted my attention, you should've just told me! You didn't have to go tidying up my shoe collection, but I'm happy you did~! If you keep spoiling me like this, I might not be able to keep my hands off of you! Unless... that's what you wanted?"
Beel
Things tend to get pretty messy with Beel around, with the trail of crumbs he always leaves in his wake, and how he manages to get every surface he touches sticky. But you must be a miracle worker...
You're like a living roomba, and his ravenous appetite is no match against your cleaning skills! You seem to predict when the food bits will fall, and it's thanks to you that he can eat without a care in the world!
It's actually kind of scary, though. He'll drop a bite of his sandwich and move down to retrieve it to eat, and... it's gone. Poof. Into the ether of the garbage can...
You can still rest once in a while though, you know? Beel offers to help you with the cleaning, and he's more than happy to let you climb up his shoulders to reach those high places. It makes him happy to know he can lend a hand.
"MC, I already cleaned over here so you don't have to do it. I cleaned there, too. That means you don't have anything else to do, so why don't you have a lunch break with me? It's not good to work so hard all the time."
Belphie
Belphie's one for the more observant brothers, so your clean freak habits didn't go unnoticed. He didn't know if you were obsessed with cleaning, or if you genuinely enjoyed it, but at least you were doing it without a fuss?
And man did you do a good job. Everywhere you cleaned was left with the lingering smell of vanilla and lavender, and... you know, the smell is making him sleepy.
Every pillow his head touches seems especially fluffy, too! When he found out you made a regular habit of washing and fluffing them, and they smell amazing... He feels like he's laying on a cloud...
He won't admit it genuinely, but he really does love what you're doing with the place. It makes him feel a little fuzzy inside when he finds his pillow on his bed, freshly laundered and soft to the touch. He clings to it extra tight those nights.
"You know if you keep this up, I might prefer the pillows to your lap. Ah, but don't worry, I don't really mean it. There's no way a pillow could replace you, no matter how good it smells. I think."
#I can vibe with this because I clean pretty often when I'm stressed and I just generally enjoy most cleaning#obey me#obey me!#obey me shall we date#obey me! shall we date?#shall we date? obey me!#shall we date obey me#obey me lucifer#obey me headcanons#obey me imagines#obey me writing#obey me scenarios#obey me mammon#obey me levi#obey me satan#obey me asmo#obey me beel#obey me belphie
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Delicate
This is technically a sequel to last year’s Dad Mirio fic but can be read on its own! Everyone’s favorite Wholesome Dilf continues to live rent-free in my brain.
“I miss you soooo much,” Mirio says for the fifth time in the past twenty minutes. You give him a comforting smile from your side of the screen, you know how he feels. Your husband’s been gone for three days now helping with a disaster in Osaka, and he probably won’t be home for the rest of the week. It’s hard being married to one of Japan’s top heroes, you think to yourself. You wish you could be there with him, putting your training to good use where it’s needed, but your current assignment is too important to ignore. It’s as if he can read your mind from the other side of the country. “How’s my buddy doing?”
You smile and tilt your camera down to show off your heavy stomach. At eight months pregnant, you’re sidelined from hero work no matter what the crisis is. “He’s alright,” you confirm. “I think he’s bored without you around, though.” He lets out a little whine that’s almost heartbreaking; it’s obvious where he’d rather be right now. You take pity on him and drop the phone level with your belly to give him a better view.
“Hey buddy,” he coos. “I promise, I’ll finish as fast as I can so I can come home to you and Mama soon.” You feel movement inside you as he talks. You don’t know how good your baby’s hearing is, especially through the video chat, but you’re sure that he’s reacting to his father’s familiar voice. “I can’t wait to get back and feel how strong you’re kicking in there. I bet you’re driving Mama crazy!” You relax further into your pillows and let him babble on to your bump about his day saving civilians and clearing out rubble, only a little lonely when you look over at the empty half of your bed. You really do miss him, your house is far too quiet and calm without his usual energy filling it.
You yawn after a few more minutes and glance at the time. “Sorry, it’s getting kinda late. Would you mind if we called it a night for now?”
He smiles, but you can tell that he’s trying to hide his disappointment. “No problem, I know you need your sleep. We’ll talk again tomorrow, okay?” You agree and tell your husband you love him before hanging up the phone and settling in for bed. You’re tired, but you’ve gotten too comfortable with him sleeping beside you and it takes awhile to fall asleep on your own.
You spend the next morning balancing your laptop over your swollen belly while you browse through maternity clothes. There’s a local shop that promises same-day delivery, and you treat yourself to a few things for your last month. You read through your email, a magazine wants a quick interview for an article about hero families and you’re happy to answer their questions. It’s hard to move too much in your condition, but you make sure to do the prenatal exercises your doctor recommended and then have a nice long shower. Your new clothes arrive and you leave them on the dresser for now while you eat lunch and call your family. It still seems too quiet in the house without Mirio, and you’re getting bored when your phone finally rings and your face lights up at his name.
“Hey sweetheart! I’ve got a surprise for you!”
You can hear the smile in his voice and it warms your heart. “Is it dinner? I think somebody in here’s really craving steak tonight.”
He laughs. “You’ll see. Just have a seat on the couch and close your eyes for a second, okay?”
This isn’t the weirdest thing he’s requested over the phone, and you obey. “Alright, they’re closed. What are you planning, Lemillion?”
“You can open your eyes in three...two...one…” his voice disappears from the phone, all you hear is the background noise of birds chirping.
“Mirio?” Your eyes are still closed.
“SURPRISE!”
You jump in shock and drop your phone, your eyes flying open. He’s standing in front of you with the biggest grin on his face, completely naked. It takes you a second to realize he must have phased through the front door to surprise you. You struggle to stand but fail, and he has to pull you up himself into his arms for a deep kiss. “You’re home early! How’d you manage that?”
“The others knew how much I wanted to get home, with you being pregnant and all, and everybody worked extra hard to cover for me so I could leave first.” You owe every single one of them a thank you gift. “Boy, that Uravity is amazing with rescue work!” Oh, you owe her twice as much after this.
“I’m glad you’re home,” you sigh happily. Your husband drops to his knees in front of you and pushes your shirt up to kiss your stomach, rubbing his hand where he feels a faint kick.
“Me too. I missed our family so much.” His arms wrap around you and he rests his head against your middle. You run your fingers through his hair, both of you taking a minute to relish your little reunion. It’s only been a few days, but it was more than enough to make you homesick for each other.
He stands back up after a bit and you head for the hallway. “You should go grab your phone off the porch and take a shower. I’ve got a bit of a surprise for you too, when you’re done.” He’s happy to obey and you follow him down the hall, pausing at the front door then into the bedroom. You wait for the bathroom door to shut and then spring into action as fast as you can. You clothes come off; you kick them under the bed instead of wasting precious time trying to pick them off the floor.
You reach for the new clothes on the dresser and find the outfit you’d picked for his welcome home gift. The bra is made out of soft white lace so flimsy it looks like it’ll tear if you breathe too hard. It ties closed with a ribbon in the front and your clumsy fingers finally form a decent bow on the third try. A skirt attaches beneath the cups and just skims your thighs, the two halves of it parted to show off your obvious pregnancy. You’re lucky that the matching underwear ties on the sides with more ribbon; you’re not sure you’d be able to get them on without five minutes of struggling if you had to step into them.
You look at yourself in the mirror and adjust the skirt of your lingerie. Despite the sheer fabric leaving little to the imagination, you look sweet. Innocent. Delicate. A grin spreads across your face; it’s perfect.
You get dressed just in time; you hear the shower turn off and the door opens a second later. “There, all clean and-” Mirio freezes at the sight of you and you see his fingers twitch against the towel wrapped around his waist. “Oh, wow. You look...just, wow.” He’s crossed the room faster than you can react, strong arms wrapping you in a tight, warm hug. “You’re so gorgeous like this, babe.”
You lean into his body; you’ve missed this while he was gone. “Well, it’ll be awhile before we can do this again. I figured we should really enjoy ourselves while we still can.” He nods and gives you a surprisingly gentle kiss. You can tell he’s holding back his strength for your benefit and the knowledge makes your heart flutter.
Mirio recovers from his surprise quickly and returns to his usual unstoppable energy. “I’m gonna make you feel so good, I promise!” His bigger hand is warm around yours as he guides you to your bed, losing his towel in the process. You don’t hide your staring; his body is gorgeous after so many years of training and you could look at him for hours. He sits back against the headboard and carefully brings you with him to straddle his lap, and you feel his cock already growing hard against your thigh. “We’ll take it easy,” he promises. “I know we have to be a little more gentle now since you’re so big-” You stare down at Mirio silently, but he continues. “What? You are big, that’s a good thing. You’re growing our baby in there, he needs all that room!” You just shake your head; you can’t really feel annoyed when he’s this sweet.
He looks up at you with pure affection written all over his face and leans into your touch as you run your fingers through his damp hair. “How can you be this buff and this adorable?” It’s not the first time you’ve asked as much, and every time he laughs you off with a faint blush on his cheeks. You lean in for another kiss while his hands move from your hips over your ribs to the front of your slip.
“This is so pretty, you should keep it on.” He gives your chest a squeeze and you whine, too sensitive from the hormones wrecking havoc on your body. You knew your breasts were going to get bigger, but they’ve turned out to be overachievers and you’ve jumped up two cup sizes already. “They’re still really sore, huh?” You nod and he offers you a comforting smile as he plays with the bow before finally tugging it open. Your nipples are already hard, and you don’t miss how he licks his lips when his thumb brushes over one. “I could help you with that, if you want.”
“Mirio…” You love your husband and all his enthusiasm, but you’re well aware that he can be a little too eager and get carried away. He’s being careful now as his fingers trace against your warm skin, his touch barely teasing you. He pulls you closer; you can feel the smile on his lips as he leans into your neck. He follows your pulse, down your collarbone to leave kisses at the swell of your breast and you sigh. “Okay,” you agree. “Just remember to-”
“I know, be gentle. Don’t worry babe, I’m gonna take good care of you.” He pushes your lingerie out of the way to get a better view at your heavy chest and appreciates the sight of it. “Man, our kid’s not gonna be lacking on calcium, is he?”
“I love you, please stop talking.” He laughs but obeys, his tongue flicking over your nipple and making you squirm in his arms. He does it a few times and you let out a little gasp when he takes you into his mouth. “Go easy,” you remind him, but he’s already distracted with his task. You asked your doctor about doing this before and were told it was perfectly fine, but you can’t quite shake the thought that it’s a little weird as Mirio begins to suck at your tender nipple.
You’ve tried this before, but every time he’s been too rough in his excitement and you’ve had to yank his head away from you in pain. Tonight though, he’s trying his best and after a few seconds of discomfort there’s an unfamiliar tingle deep in your breast as your body responds to his stimulation. “It feels weird,” you groan, but your fingers thread into his hair so he won’t pull away. “It’s not bad, just weird.” You’re not entirely sure you like what he’s doing, but you’re willing to continue until you figure it out. His tongue brushes over you with a slightly different motion, and something in you clicks into place. “Can you do that again? I think I liked that.”
His laughter is muffled but still obvious and you can feel the smile against your skin. Mirio’s happy to assist, one strong hand settling on your back to keep you steady. It wasn’t a mistake; he repeats his movements and you realize that it feels good. It feels really good, you have to admit, as his eyes slip closed so he can focus entirely on pleasing you like this. You hold him tight to your body, fingers running through his messy hair while you enjoy the affection so happily given. You’re still sensitive though, and after a few more minutes you start to get overwhelmed and have to pull him away.
“It tastes good.” His grin is huge as he licks his lips. “It’s sweet, just like the rest of you.” You’d roll your eyes if he wasn’t so cute. He gives your breast a gentle squeeze and earns another whimper from you, then turns his attention to the other one. “Don’t want this side feeling left out, right? Lucky I’m here to take care of everything!” Your heart skips a beat, you’re so in love with this silly, wonderful idiot. You don’t get a chance to respond, once his mouth is back on you it’s hard to do anything besides pant and whine for him.
You squirm against him, his dick pressing against your thigh and your panties doing very little to hide how much you’re loving this. “Miriooo,” you moan, and the look in his eyes is nothing but pure happiness that makes you melt. “You always take good care of me,” you coo, reaching down to stroke his cock lightly. “You’re so good to me, honey.” He pulls you closer and releases your chest to look up and meet your eyes.
“Babe, I’m just giving you what you deserve. You’re literally making a brand new, little person in there. If that’s not worth being extra nice, I don’t know what is.” He really has no idea how perfect he is. His thumb brushes over your nipple and your body is so sensitive now it makes you shudder. “Alright now?”
You stop for a second to consider. Your breasts do feel a bit lighter, there’s less pressure weighing down on you after his help. “Yeah, thanks. You’re the best, really.”
He brushes off your compliment in favor of pulling at the strings holding your underwear together. “Just doing my job, miss.” He groans at the sight of you fully naked and traces a finger along the lips of your cunt. You hadn’t noticed just how wet you were getting as he’d worked on your nipples, but now two of his fingers slip inside you with no effort. “I love you so much,” he says with another kiss.
You buck into his hand mindlessly, too eager for his touch after only a few days. You want to hold off and come with his dick buried inside you, but you can’t deny yourself when you’re this needy already. “I want it,” you whine pitifully.
His other hand gives your hip a reassuring squeeze. “I know, baby. You can have whatever you want, just tell me.” His thumb swirls over your clit and he doesn’t miss the jolt that runs down your body. “Right there, huh? My pretty little wife wants me to make her come?” His smirk is playful and there’s a glint of mischief in those friendly eyes.
“Mirio, please.” Hearing him talk like that does something to you and you hide your face in the crook of his neck.
His hand moves faster and your pussy clenches tight around his fingers. “It’s alright, I’ve got you. Just let yourself go for me.” His voice is so warm and soothing, you can’t resist. Your orgasm is marked with desperate whispers in his ear as his hand moves gently between your thighs to urge you on. “That’s it, honey. You’re so good, I want more of you.”
It takes you a minute to calm down before you’re able to pry your sweaty face away from his shoulder. His fingers leave you aching to be filled again, and you swallow hard when you watch him bring them to his mouth to lick them clean.
“That’s my girl,” he smiles like the sun and you look away, almost embarrassed by the affection between you two. You can’t see anything past your swollen belly, but you can feel his thick cock ready for a turn. “Are you up for more? It’s fine if you need to wait-”
You fumble blindly for his cock until the tip presses just outside your cunt. “I want you inside me. Here, Mirio. Your pretty little wife wants to make you come.” The blush spreading across his face at your words is a special reward of its own. His hips thrust upward to enter you while he slowly pulls you down to meet him, and your mouth falls open in a long moan. “Fuck, Mirio. We’ll have to wait a couple weeks after he’s born and it’s gonna suck so bad.”
He hasn’t put much thought into this fact and you can practically see the gears in his head turning. “Well then, I guess we’d better make it count while we still have the chance,” he says finally. He’s always so much stronger than you, even when you’re not in such a delicate condition, and easily sets a steady pace moving you up and down his dick. You cling to his shoulders to steady yourself as you ride him, pressing your tongue into hs mouth to devour his sounds. This may be the peak of happiness, with your sweet husband pounding away inside your excited pussy, showering you with compliments about how great you are and how perfect your little family is going to be. “And once he gets a little older, we can start working on his siblings!”
Your hips falter in their rhythm at the suggestion. “S-siblings? Already?”
He grins back at you. “Of course! We need five or six, at least!”
“Five or six…” you repeat, suddenly distracted by the thought of doing this another half-dozen times. You don’t know why you’re surprised, it’d be more of a shock if he didn’t have infinite love to share. The idea doesn’t bother you, and you find yourself returning his smile with a smirk of your own. “You really wanna fill me up that much, Lemillion?”
You’re not expecting his thrusts to speed up so much or for him to pull you down so hard you’re gasping for air. “God, babe. So much. I think about it like, all the time now. You have no idea.” He stops to kiss you again, and your cunt squeezes hard around him. “I can take more time off of work,” Mirio insists mindlessly, getting far too ahead of himself. “I bet I can hold so many babies at once.”
You laugh, he’s so ridiculous sometimes. “Let’s just focus on this one for awhile, okay?” He nods, trailing his lips down your throat to feel how fast your pulse is racing for him. You can feel another orgasm building, and that he isn’t far behind. You were only apart for three days but it seems like far too long. “You’re really, really the best.”
He cups your sweaty face in one hand, the look in his eyes so soft and loving it takes your breath away. There aren’t enough words to describe how much you love him right now, and clearly it’s the same for him. Wordlessly he releases you and drags his hand down your body, stopping to tweak your nipples and making you cry out. His fingers drop to rub firmly against your clit, and your back goes rigid. “Miri-ohh. Just like that, I’m gonna...there, fuck.” You clamp down hard on his cock with a loud moan and he holds you tight, supporting your overworked body while you come. “Here,” your voice is ragged. “Your turn, I know you’re dying to come inside me.”
“You’re amazing, honey.” That last compliment is all he gets out before his pace goes sloppy and you feel him flooding your pussy with a low groan. “You’re so amazing.”
You cling to him while he gradually wears himself out and stay wrapped up in his arms for the next few minutes. Eventually, there’s a firm kick in your belly that informs you that someone noticed all your movement and he’s not happy about it. Both of you laugh as you separate; you flop down on the bed while Mirio cleans you up and finds you a comfy, oversized shirt and fresh panties to wear. It’s still fairly early, and you won’t be tired enough to sleep for a few hours.
“Now that was a welcome home gift. You should just wear that around the house until you have the baby, it looks really great on you.”
You ruffle his messy hair. “I don’t think it would survive the entire month around you,” you tease. You stretch your arms above your head and feel a grumble in your stomach. “So, the surprise wasn’t steak for dinner tonight?”
He’s in too good of a mood to even think of denying you. “It is now!” He’s already fumbling for his phone to look up menus. “Whatever you wanna eat, just say the word!”
Sometimes you wonder how you ever got so lucky.
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Behind the Keyboard-Volume 13
Please note that Behind the Keyboard will be posted once per week during the Reading Challenge. We’ll go back to twice a week in mid-August.
Behind the Keyboard is a series of interviews with different Schitt’s Creek fanfic authors. The series will last as long as there is interest (from authors) and capacity (from me). If you are an author from the Schitt’s Creek fandom who would like to participate, send a DM to this account.
Each author was given ten questions. The first five questions are the same for every author, the last five will vary.
Remember, this year’s Reading Challenge begins July 15, so polish up those MFL lists.
Let’s meet our next author:
@shimmies / shimmies
How many fics have you written?
I think I’m up to 38! I post some of my art to ao3 so that bumps my total count to 44.
When did you publish your first fic on AO3?
2020. I watched Schitt’s Creek that spring/summer. I specifically remember looking for David/Patrick fic after watching Grad Night, and was a lurker for a while. Eventually I was like, hey! I could do this too! Why am I not already doing this?
Describe your writing process from “Oh, I have an idea” to pushing publish on AO3.
If I have an idea/scene/line pop into my head I basically can’t accomplish anything in real life until I get it written down. But these come to me in so many different ways. Sometimes I hear a song and I force myself to craft a plot to fit my interpretation of it. Sometimes I vividly see a scene in my head and struggle for days to choose a title. Sometimes I’ll write an entire fic within a couple hours of its inception. Sometimes I’ll write down a line of dialog and stew over it for weeks before either fleshing out the story or finding it a spot in another WIP.
In general I do like to start with an outline but I’m a “path of least resistance” kind of person, so I work on whatever is coming to me at the moment. Nothing has to happen in a particular order or with a particular method.
Tell me about your most recent fic? What do you love about it? Is there anything you think you could have done better?
My last published fic was RPF ( hope i'll see you down the line ), which I fully understand is not everyone’s cup of tea, then some Outer Range stuff before that. So for the sake of this semi-public statement I will consider my last Schitt’s Creek fic, Alarm C(l)ock. I published it in March and it was the first thing I’d finished since Frozen Over in December. I had been feeling so uninspired for so long, so what I love most is it was a really nice boost for my creative energy and self esteem and definitely got the gears turning again. If I went back and looked for stuff to improve I’m sure I would come up with a hundred little tweaks, but I really don’t like doing that. [Editor’s note: shimmies has since published (Not) Being Left Behind Again and Tuning In On You both for the Schitt’s Creek fandom.]
What advice would you give to someone who’s thinking about publishing their fic for the first time?
This is going to sound super cliche but the fandom experience is whatever you make of it. Want to share your work with others? We’re here for it! Publish it and change your mind? Delete it! Asexual smut writer? Cool! Are the comments and kudos what keep you going? Reblog that fic from last month! Life’s too short to let a hobby make you unhappy or uncomfortable!
Plot vs vibes - pick one.
Hmm, I think vibes. Sure, a good plot will keep the pages turning (metaphorically), but when you find that fic that turns you into the human equivalent of the inside of a roasted marshmallow BUT IN THE BEST POSSIBLE GOOEY WAY? Heaven.
What parts of writing are easy for you? What parts are hard?
I’ll start with the hard part which is finding free time, inspiration, and motivation all lining up at the exact same time. It’s a miracle I’ve ever gotten anything accomplished at all.
I would say the planning of a story is probably easiest for me. I’m a planner by nature so usually I’ll have a good idea of the progression of a story (in a bulleted outline, of course) before I even start writing any scenes in detail.
In your mind, what’s the most important element of good writing?
Do your research and get your details correct! Whether it’s rewatching scenes so you know the character better, learning about a culture being represented, or whatever is relevant to your story, it’ll feel natural when it’s done well but it’s hard to ignore when it’s done badly. (This is not a callout of anything/anyone in the fandom! You’re all awesome!)
Tell me about one of your favorite headcanons.
Patrick is not actually allergic to cats, and he just freaked out because his crush’s sister started flirting with him. He has to come clean when David catches him feeding a friendly stray cat that hangs around outside their store. He and David have a minimum of 2 cats at all times post-canon.
What are your three favorite tropes?
This is so tough but I’ll say forced proximity, fake dating, and accidental confessions, but each with a healthy dose of mutual pining.
#behind the keyboard#meet the authors#sc fic reading challenge#sc reading challenge#sc fanfic#schitts creek#schitt’s creek
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Mercy, Sabotage, and Dead Space
(gif credit to @redwyyne-archive)
Part One of The Bet series
Pairing: Poe Dameron/Reader
Rating: Explicit
Word Count: 12.7K
Summary:
1. No sex.
2. No touching yourself.
3. No orgasms.
Warnings/Tags: DUBCON/NONCON elements, fuckboy Poe (OOC), Enemies to Lovers, degradation/humiliation, mentions of oral sex, SMUUUTTTTTTTT also I’m not sorry for what I did but you’re not allowed to read if you’re gonna get mad at me okay byeeee
***
This.
This shit, right here.
If the question was ever, “What’s the stupidest fucking thing you’ve ever let Poe Dameron somehow talk you into doing?” then the answer is this stupid shit, right the fuck here. This is like. You remember that one game, Mercy? The one where you’d dig your nails in and twist arms and just needlessly inflict pain on each other as children until one of you cried uncle because someone somewhere once decided to turn torture into a matter of pride?
You always thought those games were fucking ridiculous. Who can hold their breath the longest, who can handle a lit deathstick against their flesh the longest, who can take the hardest punch—who cares? It’s child’s play. It’s self-inflicted agony for the sake of bragging rights and even as a youngling, you refused to fall for it.
But then you met… fucking Dameron.
You know those people that… they don’t just rub you the wrong way, but literally every single aspect about their personality is sandpaper against wet skin and your whole entire being feels chafed raw just by existing in their general vicinity for an extended period of time?
You’re… you’re not usually a competitive—much less aggressive person. You never have been. It’s just not part of your nature. If you ever excel at anything in life, it isn’t because of some secret, deep-seated desire to win or be better than anyone else. You just… do you. You do whatever you do, and if it’s good, it’s good. And if it’s bad, it’s good. Because at the end of the day at least it’s still you, and you’re okay with that.
But this?
This shit? Right here?
“This is fucking dumb,” you say, because you know it’s what you both must be thinking so you may as well just get it out in the open. “This is the dumbest fucking thing, Dameron. What are we doing? Why are we doing this?”
The grumpy, orange-jumpsuited figure sitting behind you just sighs heavily and slumps even further down in his bucket seat, as if it isn’t the first time you’ve tried asking this incredibly valid question (it totally is), bringing a palm down to thunk the top of the guidance controls between his legs in a quiet irritation you’re almost certain has everything to do with the very topic you’re trying to bring up.
“Because,” comes that infuriating drawl. You can only see his face from this angle by looking at his reflection in the transparisteel barrier directly in front of you, but even just imagining the way his mouth moves while he rounds out the words makes your jaw clench. “The coordinates we picked up were scrambled and this rendezvous could be going down at any one of thirty-six locat—?”
“No,” you interrupt him with a scowl, “not why I’ve been floating in dead space in this Maker-forsaken ship with you for eight fucking hours a day since… fuck, what’s today? Thursday? Friday? Nope, can’t be Friday, Friday’s our off-day. Thursday, then. …Thursday?” You shake your head. “Ugh, see? Time doesn’t exist when I’m not allowed to cum, life is like one never-ending nightmare.”
“Oh.” He takes a second to think about it in silence, the calloused tips of his fingers scratching the side of his face while he considers. It wouldn’t usually be as loud as it is right now. Maybe it’s the haunting quiet of space surrounding the ancient powered down hunk of metal you’re both stuck in, inadvertently isolating and amplifying the sound—or maybe it’s because your copilot’s jaw is currently covered in a thick, dark beard that you swear barely took his testosterone-overloaded ass a fucking week or two to grow, if that. Regardless, the dark bristles crunch loudly under his short fingernails and it takes you about a grand total of five whole uninterrupted seconds of the scraping sound to realize you’re grinding your teeth along with it. “Well,” he finally says, “that was your stupid idea.”
“Hmmmmmmmno,” you contest firmly, wiggling your elbow back to poke at his shin with your index finger once, twice, thrice, until he finally slaps your hand away in quiet irritation. To the misfortune of you both—and likely the other hundred or so pilots concurrently taking rotating shifts in these tandem x-wings in a glorified mass stakeout, the cockpit of this ship is just way too fucking small. Your arm is squeezed uncomfortably against machinery and electronics to get to him from this angle and a light slap isn’t going to stop you now that you’re here. “You—” (poke) “—have a superiority complex and decided to turn it into a competition, not—” (poke) “—me.”
“Oh, I have a superiority complex, okay,” he scowls and nods in vehement, fake agreement, finally giving up and letting you poke at will, but the appeal is lost as soon as you realize he’s over it and your arm eases back into your lap. You watch his reflection look out of the viewport and scan the empty void of space for the twentieth time in the past five minutes, clearly just as desperate to get back to base as you are. “So what is it you call saying—wait, no no, not even saying, loudly declaring—‘Of course I can go longer without sex than “wham bam thank you ma’am” Dameron, you brainless fucks, it’s a simple fact!’”
“Alright—I don’t sound like that, fuck you very much,” you return, in reference to his shrieking, high-pitched impression of you surrounded by your fellow pilots in the rec room when you’ve had a bit too much to drink. “Also, you don’t have to finger-quote literally every single syllable of my fucking sentence, Dameron. First and last word, that’s all it takes. And if it’s so superiority complex-ey of me to state simple facts, then what is it you call saying ‘betcha two weeks worth of pay you can’t, pretty baby’?”
“Uh, easy credits?” He immediately asks, side-eyeing your reflection through the transparisteel. “ Easy credits. Just begging for it. Two weeks of your slutty, sexy, easy fucking credits just begging to be taken and used— ”
“You need to get laid,” you cut in to tell him bluntly, scrunching your nose in what you hope looks like disgust. As per protocol, the power to the x-wing was cut at the beginning of your shift—what feels like a fucking eternity ago—as a preventative maneuver in case the target falls out of hyperspace unexpectedly. Avoiding the scanners of a fleet that may never actually show means it’s cold and dimly lit in here—just starlight in front of either you, but you’re hoping he can gauge the severity of your revulsion with your back to him. “You just turned my money into a sex object. It was vile. I feel violated on its behalf.”
“Sounds like you’re the one who needs to get laid,” he tosses carelessly back at you, and you roll your eyes with as much sass as you can physically muster, so tired of all the dodging. You know this hasn’t been easy for him either, he just has too much pride to admit it. “Besides, you’ve gotta be past the withdrawal stage by now. Is it really all that bad?”
“The fuck you mean, ‘Is it really all that bad’?” You snap at him, shuffling around grumpily in your seat, hating the way the bulky weapons controls sit right between your thighs and prevent you from closing them. Withdrawal stage, ha. “Of course it’s all that bad. It’s horrible. It’s the fucking worst. And more importantly, how are you not having any trouble with this? Oh, wait—that’s right,” you answer yourself before he has a chance to. “Because you cheated.”
“I did not cheat,” Dameron’s reflection immediately challenges with an accusatory finger pointed at you. “I did not. When the fuck did I cheat? I swapped housing assignments with your shitty roommate and slept in the bunk below yours for a month and a half—all because you don’t believe in the honor system—just so you could tell me I fucking cheated?”
You scoff, feeling your annoyance spark even more. He’s always been able to get under your skin, but the neglect you’ve been forcing your body to endure is just throwing gasoline on an already roaring fire. “Okay, first of all? Rude. I am a fucking joy to have as a roomie, alright? I put up with your snoring, your 2:00 AM dinners, you blasting your radio while I’m trying to sleep, I barely complain about your body odor—”
“My snoring is adorable, I get snacky at night, only sad people with fucked up lives hate music, I smell amazing,” Dameron casually lists off on his fingers, the self-confidence so easy and unshakeable that you swear he’s almost preening at the compliments he just gave himself by the time he’s finished rebutting everything you can think to throw at him. And, while you’d never admit it, he does smell good. He smells… unbelievably fucking good. Always. Something dark and woodsy, you can never quite put your finger on. It pisses you off, so much that you’ve made a habit of pulling a face of disgust whenever the warm, rich scent noticeably reaches you, hoping it deflates his ego just a little bit. No such luck so far.
“Whatever. The point is I’m a good fucking neighbor, alright, I’m neighborly as fuck,” you grumble, crossing your arms over your chest defensively. “And don’t make it sound like I’m putting a chastity lock on your balls every night, because you can fuck anyone you want. In fact, I strongly fucking encourage it—I just want to know about it when it happens.”
Dameron smirks and you groan, already knowing what’s coming. “You wanna hear it?”
Yep, there it is. “Second of all—”
“Feel the whole bunk rock with it?” He goes on, completely ignoring you. “Use the excuse that you’re trapped up top so you can just stay there the whole time and listen? You know you can do a lot more than just—”
“Second of all,” you project over him, “you’re seriously telling me you haven’t had any wet dreams then, hm? No snorgasms? Hmmm? No happy naps? No captain midnights? No mattress fracking? Hmmmmmm???”
His voice very quickly sounds… shocked. “How many fucking euphemisms—?”
“Wait wait, one more—” you quickly interrupt, too much momentum to stop now, “—sleepskeet.”
You watch in immense satisfaction as his expression seems to progress through all five stages of grief, before he exhales a long, unamused sigh and scratches his beard again. You want to pluck each strand of it out of his face one by one. “Anyways. Wet dreams are totally different and don’t count.”
“It’s not different!” You burst out, unable to help yourself, “it’s an orgasm, and rule number three is no orgas—”
“I know what the rules were, Gold-Ten,” he returns calmly, and it infuriates you, how he’s always able to make it seem like you’re the instigator who’s overreacting. And he knows exactly what he’s doing by calling you by your flight designation, and it pisses you off even more because calling him Black-Leader in any other situation besides active warfare just feels like an unnecessary reminder of his skills. Why he’s currently behind you manning the guidance controls and why you’re currently stuck in the front seat with the bulkier weapons systems. “The question is if you’re seriously that bad enough of a sport to automatically disqualify me because of something that happens to any human with a dick indiscriminately when we blueball ourselves.”
“But that’s the entire fucking point, Dameron!” You shrill, throwing your hands in the air in pure exasperation. “There it is! You need it more than I do, you just said it yourself! Not to mention I said I can go longer without sex than you can— sex , not orgasms, but as it turns out I win at both. Now can we please call this shit off so I can finally cum? This isn’t fun anymore.”
“Nope,” he says immediately, popping the P with a bit too much hard emphasis to be genuinely amused. He’s frustrated, too—his voice is too pleased, too fake to not be masking irritation underneath. “Sorry. But this was also your stupid idea, so.”
“You’re insufferable,” you grumble, anger flaring equal to his, just way more… verbal. And descriptive. “Wet dreams don’t count, fucking right. Tell that to the oceans of Kamino I got going on down there, huh? I move on this seat wrong and I’ll slide off it—”
A loud slam of a palm against the controls suddenly echoes throughout the small cockpit, causing you to jump slightly.
“Don’t,” Dameron snarls, “... say shit like that to me. Not right now. Not right now, fuck .”
You go quiet for a moment, not expecting that much of an outburst at something you considered to be a throwaway remark, but then… oh. Something occurs to you, something… sinister. Oh, well, now there’s an idea.
Everything inside you immediately surges up and burns at the thought—the mere whisper of a way out of all of this, quickly, without giving in and letting him hold your surrender over you for Maker knows how long. It’s so fucking simple, you don’t know why you didn’t think of it before. You don’t have to wait him out at all; instead, you just need to… entice him into giving in first.
Neither of you say anything for a while, and you don’t know what he’s thinking (nothing, probably—a dry tumbleweed bouncing across an empty desert landscape, you imagine) but you take the dip in conversation to consider a plan. You can’t go at it too outright, it’ll be too big of a turnaround and he’ll see it coming lightyears away. A halfhearted joke about your pussy tossed out without thinking is what catalyzed the most substantial reaction from him you’ve seen, so… maybe you can keep steering the conversation towards the idea.
“How many wet dreams have you had?” You suddenly ask, your heart beginning to pick up in your chest as soon as the words are out of your mouth.
“Excuse me?” Dameron grunts from behind you, and you catch his reflection raising a thick eyebrow at you.
You take a deep breath and disguise it by stretching your back out just a little bit, lifting your shoulder blades and arching the sore muscles there, before settling back down in your normal crappy posture once more. “Now many times did you cum in your sleep? Had to at least been once for you to claim they don’t count.”
“Why does it matter?” He asks, completely sidestepping the question for the second time. “It was involuntary.”
You shrug. “Just so I know how many freebies I can get tonight.”
“No,” Dameron instantly counters, his voice dead serious. “Not fucking allowed.”
“Why not?” You ask, and this time, there’s significantly less challenge than you’d typically deliver it with. Instead, your voice is soft, questioning. Not argumentative, but curious, and there’s just enough of your point left unsaid that it’ll seem like he conjured the rest of the image himself.
There’s silence while he considers his response to the perfectly executed bait. You assume you’re both picturing the same thing, because it’s what you’ve pictured almost every single night spent in this celibate hellscape. The cool darkness of your shared quarters, the standard-issue sheets that still feel crispy and rough on your skin no matter how many nights you’ve slept in them, with one of your hands pressed tight over your mouth and two of your fingers circle your clit.
“You only get to do it if I’m in the room,” he poses instead, and you swallow thickly, feeling your body tighten with an unintentional drop of pure heat through your tummy at the thought. Maker, it must be really bad if Poe fucking Dameron is getting to you like this. The bane of your existence shouldn’t make your insides twist in on themselves—at least, not in a good way.
“Not like I’d have much choice,” you eventually respond, keeping it purposefully ambiguous. “It’s your room, too. Unfortunately.”
Stars, it’s been so long since you’ve done this, since you’ve walked the fine line between flirtation and seduction, wanting to turn on the charm slowly—gradually ease it up like a hyperdrive lever under your fingertips so that you’re at maximum by the time he realizes you’re even there. You take a moment to glance at his reflection, watching Dameron look back at you curiously, a flash of interest in his eyes.
“By the way, how does that one girl feel about us doing this?” You ask out of nowhere, suddenly remembering the existence of his pretty little number. You’ve seen her under his arm around base at least a few times, which is more than you can say for the rest of them. “Red-Six. Tall brunette with the tattoos—I don’t bother learning names, they all come and go.”
“Nihla,” Dameron nods with a wistful sigh, tilting his head to rest against his shoulder. “Or, wait… Neah. No—it was… Nalal. Yeah, Nalal, I think that’s right…”
“Unbelievable,” you mutter. “One of the greatest mysteries of the universe is how many people get in line for you, I’ll never fucking understand it.”
“They just want me for my cock,” he tells you without missing a single beat, sounding like he’s not joking in the slightest. “It was starting to get obnoxious. Glad I finally have an excuse to turn them down.”
“Unbelievable,” you repeat, stunned by how truly, mind-blowingly full of himself he is. “You’re… fucking…”
You end up just staring at him and making a sound somewhere between a laugh and a scoff, at a complete loss for words, and Dameron eventually shrugs and continues on after you fail to form a coherent thought in the allotted time frame he provides.
“Now I can just tell them I’m in a long-running bet with Gold-Ten over who can sexually deprive themselves the longest and weirdly enough, they don’t seem all that interested anymore,” he remarks, tilting his chin up and rubbing at his beard again, and for some reason… the sound of it bothers you somewhat less now, the way he phrased that resonating deeper inside you than it should. Lower than it should. You blink a few times, almost shocked by your body’s unprecedented response to his admission—Poe Dameron uses you as an excuse to turn down sex with pretty girls? Happily?—and your mind goes blank for a second while he watches you through the transparisteel. “It’s alright,” he eventually goes on, tilting his head. “Sometimes a sabbatical is good. I do really miss pussy, though.”
“Well,” you finally tell him, oddly not having much else to offer at the moment. “I’m sorry? And… you’re welcome. I guess.”
Dameron shrugs once more and makes an apathetic sound without opening his mouth, and you drop your stare down to the machinery between your spread thighs after feeling like you were looking at each other for too long. The position started uncomfortable and seven hours later, it’s still fucking uncomfortable. At first the discomfort twinged at your hips and lower back, but now the sensation seems to be… centering itself a bit more, finding a spot right between your legs, especially when his words echo through your subconscious and make you naturally want to push your thighs together. I do really miss pussy, though.
You try to snap out of it a bit, try to stop hyperfixating on the way your underwear has felt sticky and wet for fucking hours now, but it’s so fucking difficult to chill yourself out when your body already went into this whole situation with a month and a half long stumbling block. He’s not really doing anything at all—he’s leant back in his chair and staring out the window into the black emptiness of space when you steal a look once more, but something about how his casual responses are affecting you makes it seem like he’s the one currently seducing you.
Maker, you have to focus. You have to control yourself. You’re starting to feel a little warm in your thick jumpsuit—a particular shade of orange that does not compliment your complexion but you normally rejoice in wearing regardless. It’s baggy and uniform and hides most of your curves and most importantly, it keeps you toasty on missions like this. Space is cold —especially this far out in the Cauper Void, and there’s no fucking reason this powered down hunk of floating metal should feel as muggy and stifling as it does in here.
“We shouldn’t be doing this,” you suddenly hear yourself say, spontaneously, no thought put into it whatsoever. One last try, one last attempt to avoid it, a last-ditch go at flight before he gives you no choice and you’re left with this one remaining option. “This isn’t a good idea. It’s… not healthy. I don’t want to do this anymore.”
This gets a small chuckle out of him. “I know you don’t, pretty baby.”
“Then let’s just call the whole thing off,” you propose once again, trying to lighten your tone, make it a… a friendly thing. It sounds so fake, even to your own ears—since when would you be desperate enough to let the dreaded petname slide?—but granted, you know what they say about time and measures and all that shit. “We can call it a tie, just go back to the way things were befo—”
He cuts you off and pins you with his gaze through the reflection. “You realize that you begging me to put an end to your suffering is—ridiculously hot, mostly—but also only an incentive to make me keep pushing until you finally give in?”
You groan and comb some of your hair off your forehead, not liking the way it’s getting just the slightest bit damp. “Fine, we won’t call it off, but can we at least just stop—” You immediately catch yourself, not wanting to unintentionally push this too far too quickly, but your hesitation is clear and compelling enough for him to prompt you.
“At least just stop what?” Dameron asks, and though you don’t think it’s intentional or even noticeable from his perspective, something about the way his voice sounds… husky. Low to the ground.
“Stop dragging it out,” you breathe, your heart pounding. Why is your heart pounding so fucking fast? This is a fucking sting op, a facade, so why are you getting so caught up in the lie you’ve spun for yourself? “Finish it. Sooner, rather than later. Quit being masochists about it, just fucking put it to—”
Maker, your eyes instinctively snap to his at your poor choice of wording, having almost said bed on complete accident. Genuinely, you didn’t mean to phrase it that way, but at the same time, the thought of it almost burns you alive. Fuck. Dameron, and you, in bed. It could be mean. It could be rough. A fight for dominance more than anything. He’s bigger than you and he could make it fucking hurt, especially after going without it for as long as you have, but something about how double-edged that type of relief would be isn’t really sinking in for you right now. Like a person slowly dying of thirst that’s fantasizing about drowning. Regardless, the idea of a night with him and the sudden assortment of vivid imagery it provides is enough to get you to shut up and take a deep breath, just wait with your mouth shut for whatever his response is.
Unfortunately, you don’t have to wait long at all.
“This is cute,” he suddenly tells you, and you jerk back and sputter a bunch of consonants stupidly like he smacked you.
“Fuck you?” Are the first recognizable words that can be heard. “I’m not—this isn’t fucking— cute?”
“It’s cute,” Dameron repeats, hiding a soft smile from you with a few of his fingers pressed to his lips. “You,” he says as he points at your reflection, twirling his finger around in circles, “trying to be all sneaky about it, go about your little performance. It’s like… watching a little kid just blatantly fuck up a magic trick but they’re naive enough to think it’s working. Keep going, I’m enthralled.”
You hold still for just a second as ice suddenly sinks through your tummy and clears away any trace of warmth you may have once felt from before. Of course. Stupid. Stupid, you shouldn’t have even tried something like that, you don’t know why you thought…
Horrifyingly, you go dead silent and the lack of an immediate response from you hangs awkwardly in the still air. You’re usually so quick with him, so fiery, letting the things he throws at you just glide right off you, but for some insane reason, you’re actually fucking… embarrassed? A little bit?
You should say something, but your whole body is just frustratingly blank, almost buzzing in mortification, and it gets worse and worse the longer you stay quiet. You don’t usually put yourself in a position to be compromised, and you certainly didn’t think the place he decided to jab this time had particularly thin skin.
You… you’d forgotten what it’s like to have someone laugh at you when you’re genuinely trying your best to flirt.
Well, it’s too late to say anything now, you think. Now it’s just uncomfortable in here—true discomfort, not the typical angry silences. You’re used to that, you’re used to huffing and crossing your arms and ticking your jaw through the breaks in conversation, refusing to say a word because you’re beyond pissed off. This is different. This quiet sits different in the air, this emotion hits different in your chest, somewhere vulnerable. A crack in your armor he found without even necessarily intending to, but at this point, the stupid way you can’t seem to hide the wound from him is just as much to blame.
“So, uh…” Dameron clears his throat as you shut your eyes tight against the awkwardness, but you can still feel a strange little shift in the air from behind you. There’s something about the enclosed space, the quiet darkness surrounding you both, you feel… too close to him. Sharing his air, feeling the energy when it’s cramped and you’re not able to just get up and storm away from him like normal. You don’t like it. You don’t like that you can immediately tell something has changed without being able to see him, that type of intimacy between you is pushing a boundary you can’t quite pinpoint but know exists.
You snap your eyes open and look over at Dameron’s reflection when he’s quiet for too long, and though you try to glare as fiercely as possible at him while you do it, the look on his face almost stops you dead. The pure intensity raging in his expression, the way he’s got his eyes narrowed, flicking back and forth between yours, carefully studying you, wondering if perhaps he may have gotten it all wrong. “I mean, y’know. Theoretically speaking, and all. If I broke, you’d let me fuck you?”
You… aren’t expecting that.
You don’t know why but your heart suddenly starts to race again, but it’s not the same as before. Before it was speeding up and at an angle, like a rocket trying to escape a body’s gravitational pull, to go somewhere, search for something. This time it just feels like it’s ricketing downhill, unsteady and out of control, about to break apart with every single pothole that rattles and slams through you. Shit. You didn’t expect the ultimatum would be presented to you so up front like that—you thought there’d be… some resistance, at least.
Fuck, you take way too fucking long thinking about it, and your face feels warmer and warmer the more you mentally pick apart his specific phrasing, wondering where you should even begin. You still haven’t said anything, but the damage is already done. What should've been a firm, instantaneous go fuck yourself is left suspended, unanswered, open for interpretation. You miss your window of opportunity to shut him down, you overshoot it by a longshot, and then you feel that spark of a what-if flare deep down once more.
No, fucking stop it. Stop it. Maker, your eyes do everything they can to not look at him while you concentrate and work to tap into your anger, stoking the flames of your fire to avoid feeling… temptation. How dare he? How fucking dare he do this to you, especially when there’s no chance to get out of here, to abort mission and cut your losses? You clench your jaw and isolate that fury, magnify it until it’s the only thing you can feel anymore.
“My turn now,” Dameron eventually breaks the silence to clarify, blinking at you, and by this point you’re so fucking pissed off that you don’t recognize that isn’t actually a question.
“No,” you immediately snap, strung far too thin to deal with this new, treacherous territory with him. Defaulting to normal is best, it’s easier. “No, it’s not your turn, and fuck no, you can’t fuck me, not even if it means I win this stupid bet. No to everything that has anything to fucking do with you, alright? Don’t talk to me. You’re lucky if I agree to sleep in the same fucking room as you tonight. And—and?—I think your beard looks dumb.”
Okay, so maybe the last part was just a little bit childish, but you’re in such a bad fucking mood and you want to insult something he’s clearly just trying out for right now, hasn’t yet solidified as part of his usual appearance and unshakeable confidence in it. It’s a downright lie—you think he might look more attractive with it than he ever has. Effortlessly rugged and masculine, framing his face and making his eyes all the more piercing.
You don’t think it works, but regardless, he heeds your sharp words and says nothing for a good few minutes at least. You had hoped the break in interaction would allow you the ability to reset a little bit, give yourself time to work through it, but it’s like the pressure in the air steadily increases regardless of how silent it is in here—or perhaps, because of it.
You can’t help it. You flick your eyes to the transparisteel in front of you once more and catch his reflection staring directly at you, unmoving. It jars you as much as it sparks your anger, and you glare down at your hands and give him a few seconds. A few seconds of grace, of mercy, before you try again.
Sure enough, he’s still got his dark eyes pinned to you when you go to check once more, like he’s actually fucking thinking about something right now, which is just… astounding, for obvious reasons. Mainly, the nerve of him. The fucking nerve of him to be able to look at you like that, like he’s just entitled to study your every feature, searching your eyes for things you’ve never looked deep enough to find within yourself, making incredibly loud assumptions with his mind that he has absolutely no right to be making.
“Shut up,” You snap at him defensively, feeling like you’re sweating buckets even in the freezing emptiness of dead space. You can’t figure out if it’s a cold sweat or if your body is legitimately just malfunctioning under his stare. “Shut up.”
You watch as his reflection suddenly drops his head back against the seat and rolls out the stiffness of his neck, blinking his eyes shut and raising his eyebrows like you’re completely overreacting, like he has absolutely no idea. “I didn’t say anything.”
“You’re not that dumb,” you challenge. “You’re… plotting. Evil plotting.”
A thick eyebrow drops so that only one is quirked up, and a grin pulls at his lips.
“You’re right,” Dameron admits casually after a moment with his eyes still closed, his voice pitched low in the cramped ship. “I was thinking about what it’s gonna take to get you to lose.”
You swallow against the dryness in your throat, starting to unintentionally bounce one of your legs up and down without even realizing it. Fuck, this ship is small, it’s too fucking small in here—you gaze wistfully out at the vast endlessness of space, wanting to grit your teeth at the irony of being surrounded by the one thing you so desperately wish you had.
“I just have to find a weakness,” he shifts forward in his seat and reveals to you, bewilderingly shameless in his honesty. Like all of a sudden you’re an accomplice to this endeavor instead of its target, as if he isn’t spoiling the secret by letting you in on it. “Something that you like, that gets you going. Something that riles you up, gets you all hot and bothered down there—”
“So you can exploit it,” you huff, slouching over a bit and trying not to sound like you’re pouting.
“—so I can exploit it,” he finishes happily, collapsing back into his seat like he’s glad you caught on so quick and he doesn’t have to explain further. “Now we can do the whole routine—the bickering, the tension, the undeniable sexual chemistry we have—or we can skip all that and you can just tell me flat out what it’s gonna take to rev that pretty little engine up, because I want it purring.”
And, it’s so fucking weird, because the specific verbiage that would normally make you cringe just hearing it spoken aloud doesn’t inspire the typical response, even though it feels like it should. It feels like you should be grossed out, it feels like a moment you should screw up your facial expression and act offended, but you’re… not. This is actually fucking working, it’s unbelievable. The undeniable fact infuriates you just as much as it stumps you.
“You do realize that everything you say is a game that two can play at, right?” You point out, not really sure where you’re going with this but feeling heated about it all the same. “What’s stopping me from exploiting something you like?”
“See now that’s a great idea,” Dameron announces, clapping his hands together happily and sending you jumping a few inches in your seat at the sudden sound, your hand automatically shooting up to rest on your thumping heart. “I can tell you what I like, and you can just listen.”
Alright, no, wait—backtrack—
“How about I tell you what I don’t like,” you snip breathlessly, tucking your hair behind your ear and feeling all the blood rush to your cheeks. Default to normal, default to normal. “Your fucking attitude. Your demeanor. The way you talk down to me. You don’t listen. You walk around like you’re such hot shit just because you’re a good pilot but none of that means anything when you don’t ever fucking listen. You’re terrible at it, doesn’t matter who’s talking—you don’t listen to me, you don’t listen to people who actually like you, you don’t listen to orders, you don’t listen to reason—”
“You think I’m a good pilot?” He suddenly asks, and you have to take a second. This cockpit isn’t designed for anything other than sitting, much less turning all the way around, but you’re sure you can find some way to throttle him from here. He chuckles as you let out the loudest sigh you’ve ever heard yourself make—which, is an incredible feat you think both of you should be congratulated for—before Dameron eventually carries on. “You could tell me that,” he admits with a shrug, a hidden smile on his face that he’s trying to bite back. “Or you could tell me the truth.”
You shouldn’t encourage him, but you just can’t fucking help it. There’s something inside you, something you can only compare to a morbid sort of curiosity. Maybe you’re just a glutton for punishment, even more so than agreeing to this bet has already confirmed. “And that would be—?”
“That you use anger as a defense mechanism because I touch a nerve you didn’t realize you had,” Dameron replies breezily. “Have since the moment we met. And that you maybe want me to touch something else, but you’re too stubborn and proud and committed to hating me to ever admit it. You can admit it, it’s okay, I can touch whatever you need me to tou—”
“How about the emergency eject button?” You hiss, finally feeling your frustration peak. “Pop the top on this bitch. Put me out of my fucking misery, right now. You’ve got such a big head that the blood flow will probably keep your tiny little brain warm enough as long as you strap yourself down beforehand, I’ll wait. And then you can go back to base, alone , and find another poor girl to emotionally torture since you probably don’t get enough of it from the ones you work your way through but can never remember the most basic things about.”
Remarkably, that actually shuts him up. You’re doubtful the jab really hurts him, but you’re not going to feel bad about it either way. He deserved that. You cross your arms over your chest and don’t even bother looking at him, huffing and flushed with the climax of your ferocity, now left feeling strangely exhausted in its wake. Eventually your breathing evens out and disappears into the silence, until nothing at all can be heard.
It’s like that for a moment—only a moment, before the loud tearing of velcro suddenly shreds through the quiet in the cockpit, completely rattling you. Automatically your eyes shoot over to his reflection, watching large hands pull the orange jumpsuit apart at his chest and then shrug it over broad shoulders. It’s not sexual. It can’t be sexual, because there’s just no fucking room to allow it—it takes him forever to pull the long sleeves down his arms, but the way he drags it out somehow just increases your anticipation for an event you should have absolutely no interest in spectating. He’s wearing a white sleeveless undershirt underneath and the jumpsuit bunches at his waist, making him look all the longer and more defined as he finally collapses back into his seat and reclines in it, the distant constellations bathing his lean torso in dim speckles of starlight.
Your gaze catches on every good part of him—it falls down the muscular lines of his neck and follows the thin gold chain wrapped around it, disappearing into the white of his scooping neckline. His toned body finds a place to rest and stretch out without looking awkward or uncomfortable, coarse hair darkening his jaw and dusting the strong lines of his forearms—but it’s his eyes that make your heart stutter. They’re endlessly deep and dark and knowing , and you can’t seem to look away from him, not even when he opens his mouth to address you.
“You’re always so fucking mean to me,” Dameron remarks, and for just a split second—just a split second, you feel a stab of regret. “I should eat you out tonight.”
Fuck, he hits the nail right on the head on his very first try, and just hearing the words come out of his mouth so effortlessly makes your pussy clench in on itself in need. Nothing about his inflection changed from one sentence to the next, nothing in his voice made it seem like he just flipped the fucking galaxy upside down with just a few words. To an onlooker who doesn’t speak Basic, they’d have absolutely no hint as to why your face is suddenly radiating heat at an industrial capacity, blazing hot enough to warm the whole cockpit. You feel like you’re literally burning up with it. You have to put a palm to your cheek to make sure it’s not actually on fucking fire. “What— what did you just say to me?”
“That’s what you need,” he drawls, unbothered by the sharpness of your tone. “What you’ve needed, ever since I can remember. Should’ve done it a long fucking time ago, now that I’m thinking about it. How long’s it been? Tell me the truth, I know it’s been awhile.”
You feel like you’re being roasted alive like one of those hairy little Kowakian monkey-lizards that you’re pretty sure have sentient designation but are the first to be skewered and cooked over the firepit regardless. Your heart is slamming against your sternum and you scramble to come up with an even slightly clever response after such an ambush.
“This is your plan?” You raise an eyebrow at him, feeling a bead of sweat drop down your temple and onto the corner of your lashes. Oh fuck, be cool, be cool. “You think this is gonna work? Ask me if I want a weak orgasm and rugburn on my thighs?”
“I can shave,” Dameron proposes quietly, lifting his chin and gently scrubbing the side of his cheek. The sound of the thick bristles against his fingers makes you swallow thickly and push back very vivid thoughts of how his face would feel between your legs. How soft and wet his mouth would feel at the center of that thick, coarse beard. “Tonight, I’ll shave it off. Make it nice and smooth for you.”
Something inside you surges up to assure him he absolutely should not shave, and you actually have to bite your tongue to keep it buried at the last second. Stars, that was a close one, what the fuck prompted that?
“I don’t give a shit what you do,” you quickly return, resisting the urge to wipe your brow. “Beard or no beard, makes no difference. Foreplay is overrated, I’m not big on wasting time.”
“Oh, you poor thing,” he immediately laments—so quick , and the worst part is that the sympathy in his voice actually sounds sincere. You’re having trouble looking him in the eyes right now, hearing the genuine pity come through in his tone. “Who… who did this to you?”
“You said you want to figure out what I like, what turns me on,” you return, tucking your hair behind your ear once more and trying not to sound self-conscious. Maker, how long until your shift is over? You need to get out of here, this shit is… way out of your league. “I’m not into it, so try again.”
“Really?” Dameron takes a moment to look at you, furrow his thick eyebrows at you in barely concealed curiosity, before his head tilts sideways and drops to his shoulder. “Normally I’d respect that, but I meant it when I said you need it.”
“We fucking hate each other, Dameron,” you hiss, a reminder to him as much as it is to yourself. Fuck, you really don’t like where this is going. “You don’t know anything about me, you don’t know what the I n—”
“I bet you think we’d fuck hard,” he murmurs, low enough that you have to take an unsteady breath and physically brace yourself for whatever is going to come from that dirty mouth next. “You think that maybe I’d throw you around a little, give it to you from behind, teach you a fucking lesson for always talking back to me. But that’s primitive shit, Gold-Ten, that’s not for you.”
Resist. Resist . You’re part of the fucking Resistance, for Maker’s sake, you’re taught to hold out until death in torture scenarios. Since when did this tin can suddenly become a new POW camp simulation you have to train for?
“I want to take you apart so slow that you can’t talk at all,” Dameron continues quietly, and you close your eyes, biting your bottom lip hard enough to sting. “We don’t even have to fuck—I mean, I want to, but mostly I just want to taste you. Go nice and slow. I want you on your back, so I can look in your eyes and see all that anger just… fade away. I want to watch you try to fight how fucking good I’ll make it. How hot it’s gonna be when you can’t glare at me anymore, when your pretty doll eyes go all soft and sweet and you finally realize that I’ve never hated you at all.”
Maker. This is a trick. It’s not a question, it shouldn’t be presented like one—this is a dirty rotten trick , and you’re not gonna fall for it. You can’t fucking fall for it. It’s a low blow, and you refuse to even acknowledge he said anything at all. He’s lying to get your guard down. He laughed at your flirting. He’s a shit person, he’s using you, this isn’t real.
Real or not, you still gulp loud enough for him to hear it.
“We could go back to our room after our shift is over,” he offers out of the blue, and you have no clue why, but when he pauses and lets it hang in the air for a second, you don’t interrupt him. You stay completely silent while he waits for you, waits for your typical snarky comeback. You have it in your head instantly, you know what you’d normally say. Your room. It’s not ‘our’ room, it’s fucking your room that you’re generous enough to let him bunk in, a privilege he’s this fucking close to losing—but you can’t find it in yourself to say it right now. Your anger is gradually losing the war to your arousal and you’re forced to watch every single small defeat inside you happen from the sidelines.
His reflection blinks at you through the transparisteel, his eyebrows raising just slightly at your prolonged silence, before he suddenly sits up a little and leans forward.
“And I could lock the door,” Dameron continues, lowering his voice, both in volume and register. “The lights in there are way too fucking bright but I don’t want to be in complete darkness, so maybe we can turn them off and open the port shade, let just enough light come through to see. I could turn on the radio, find something quiet, easy to listen to. Something you like, I’ll let you pick it out. And then… Wait, hang on, which bed?”
You clench your jaw and purposefully say nothing even as your pussy squeezes, glaring right through his reflection into the black void of space.
“Mmm. Your bed,” he eventually decides. “I want you comfortable. You shower at night. Your hair will be wet and you’ll be in those baggy pajamas that you think I can’t see your nipples through, the ones that I know you take off under your covers and then put on in the morning when you think I’m still asleep. That’s good, I want you relaxed, so that maybe… maybe you’d let me take your panties off at some point. And you could lay back and open your legs, and I could go down on you for a little while. However long you need.”
Fuck.
No, this isn’t fucking happening. Your lower muscles aren’t twisting in so hard that it actually fucking hurts, your pussy isn’t leaking through two layers of fabric under your jumpsuit, your body isn’t outright revolting against the sheer neglect you’ve put it through. Maker, it’s fucking painful. You have to clench your hands into fists and dig your fingernails into your palms before you can open your mouth.
“You want to know what I need?” You nearly wheeze, a drop of sweat sliding down the back of your neck this time. Your body feels like it’s three sizes too big for this cockpit and your skin feels like it’s three sizes too small for your body. “I need you to shut the fuck u—”
“What you need,” Dameron purrs, sliding up closer behind your seat and sighing soft against the worn material of your headrest, “is a warm mouth to cum in. Don’t be shy, pretty baby, you can tell me.”
You growl out his last name as threateningly as you possibly can before he purrs yours right back in your ear, and fuck, you’ve never heard it sound so sexual before. Last names allow pilots to maintain a respectful distance from each other. Flight designations are Resistance-wide, but last names are just… allies. Not friends, not companions, but a vast network of people brought together by a common enemy. It hurts to lose a first name. But the way yours sounds rolling off of Dameron’s tongue is just too sinful, too intimate when calling you that is meant to sever intimacy by design. He says it slow and makes it dirty, muddies it in the back of his throat as he slides up even closer to you, until his face is right next to yours as you stare at each other through the transparisteel.
“I’m really…” he pauses, before exhaling through his nose and swallowing thick enough to make his Adam’s apple drop and bounce up again, his tongue coming out to wet his plush lips as he blinks slowly at you with a heavy gaze, “… really good at it. Call me Poe and I’ll do it for you all night.”
Shit, your pussy is just a fucking mess right now. It feels like it’s melting sweet and syrupy all over your thighs, throbbing and pounding and clamping up and screaming at you to do something, at least press your hand down there to alleviate some of the aching tensi—
No— stars, no touching yourself is rule number two. You drop your hands to your thighs and squeeze them, trying to reign yourself back in.
“I think you’re—just projecting,” you try, but turns out responding in general is just an all-around bad idea. Nothing about it comes out right. The ‘just’ sounds like your tongue is stuck to the roof of your mouth and your voice cracks on the word ‘projecting,’ but you don’t even have time to be self-conscious or embarrassed at how much you’re giving yourself away—all your energy has to go towards fighting the tightness between your open legs, how you’re so fucking turned on that you’re worried you’ll cum without even touching yourself. Oh Maker, can you imagine? How fucking proud of himself he’d be? You can’t let that happen, but fuck, holding back something so appealing is so much harder than it sounds.
Tap into that anger, tap into that anger—only, you can’t suddenly find it. Where’d it go? Fuck, doesn’t matter, conjure it. Quick, before it’s too late, get mad —don’t let him lure you into a… a false…
Dameron tilts his chin down towards the line of your shoulder and then slowly turns his head towards your neck, breathing you in gently.
A false sense of…
His soft exhale makes goosebumps break out all the way down your arms.
… What?
“Maybe you’re right,” Dameron acknowledges, talking just under your ear. You watch his eyelids dip and the dark beard brushes against your skin and you catch just a hint of that woodsy, spicy scent engulfing you. Like… teakwood, maybe? Stars, you don’t know, you think you’re starting to lose your mind. What the fuck does teakwood even smell like? “Maybe it’s just what I need. You should exploit it, chances are I’ll still cum first.”
That rockets another painful spasm down low. It hurts so fucking bad—fuck, maybe you could… rub yourself up against these weapons controls? Just a little bit? That joystick, right there, just ease yourself up against it just to nurse this wound a little bit…?
No, fucking— bad. That’s bad, you have to stop—
“This isn’t real, this isn’t—y-you just…” You flutter your eyelashes shut, digging your fingernails into your thighs like it’ll help break through the fog of his lulling voice, how fucking amazing he smells right now. “You just want to win th-the b—”
“ Fuck the bet,” he tells you quietly, his head dipped low enough now that his lips brush against your neck, and you shudder so hard at the sensation that your shoulder almost knocks into his chin with it. “You really think I’m doing all this for a fucking bet?”
Don’t trust him, don’t trust him, don’t—
Your deep breath is so stuttery and uneven that it’s technically just a series of shallow inhales all anxiously strung together, too desperate for oxygen to go about it legato. It’s painfully obvious to him by now, it has to be, but you very quickly miss the shaky breathing as soon as he takes away your ability to do it all together.
“Let me taste you,” he whispers, his voice almost breaking with how gentle it is, how it sounds like it flips in and out of his register when he speaks this low. “Right now, let’s make it real, let m—I know you have to be soaking fucking wet, baby, just let me try a little bit of it, please—I’m… holy shit, I’m so hard just thinking about it.”
“You c-can’t,” you stammer, reaching up to pinch the bridge of your nose in frustration. At him, at the situation, at the painful throb of emptiness between your legs. “Fuck, it’s not allowed, it’s against the rules—”
“It won’t be,” he assures you, and you hiccup when you suddenly feel his hand brush against your side, strong fingers branching out to curve against your ribcage. “You don’t have to do anything, you can stay just like this. Just a few seconds and then I’ll stop, I promise.”
Oh, Maker, it’s on the very top of your tongue, so unbelievably close to telling him something—but you don’t know what it should be. You’re right at the tipping point, on a tightrope right between what you want and what you should want. And, knowing you’re this close to giving in, Dameron slowly eases his hand down your side and starts to trail it inwards, and just the lightest brush of his warm tongue against your neck shatters any composure you have left.
You whimper and instinctively try to close your legs, but you fucking can’t— your knees are forced wide apart by controls and your whole body freezes when his hand slides down and folds gently along the curve of your pussy through the thick fabric of your jumpsuit.
The feeling of being held like this by him is just too good , cradled so perfectly in his palm as he opens his mouth and flutters his tongue out to taste your skin again, giving you a little more of it this time and letting you feel the roughness of his beard with the way his lips move. Your breath catches, then he hooks his fingertips up just the slightest bit and pulls back, and you suddenly have to smack your whole hand over your face in a terrible attempt to stifle your loud gasp.
“Oh, Maker, I c-can’t,” you stammer against your fingers, not being able to trust him or your own body. You continue to protest even after he moves back up, resting his palm low on your abdomen, letting the heat bleed through the fabric and transfer directly to your floor muscles as he lifts his head up from your shoulder. “I can’t, we can’t, I…”
You can’t see him, but you know he’s looking at you. He’s staring right at you through the reflection, studying the way you’re hiding your face from him, how you’re still melting, still losing your composure just from the warm palm pressed tight your tummy.
His touch leaves you for a second. But then the deafening sound of velcro ripping at the crotch of your jumpsuit has you dragging your hand down your mouth and your eyelids dipping.
“Dameron,” you breathe into your fingers, just as his carefully slip into the small opening and begin to work at the button to your pants. “Dameron, this isn’t—you don’t want—”
“You don’t get to tell me what I don’t want,” he grunts at you, and you try not to bite yourself at the sound of him unzipping things and yanking fabric to the side. “What I really fucking want is the real thing, but I guess this’ll have to do for now.”
“I—” Your mind whirs desperately, trying to process when his fingers wedge under your panties and down. But he doesn’t give you a single fucking second. As soon as the tip of his middle finger reaches your slit, he’s dropping it and sliding it through your slick, hot, unbearably neglected cunt.
“Fuck,” he spits, and you feel like you might be about to break your own fucking jaw with how hard you’re clutching it, trying so desperately not to make a noise. The pad of his finger is rough and calloused as it drags against your clit in slow, tight circles, and you clamp your eyes shut and try to breathe normally, but it’s no use. Fuck , it’s been so long . You’ve been aching for it for a full fucking month and a half now and you know that even if he couldn’t feel it, he can hear how drenched you are right now. It’s making an obscene sound as he steadily masturbates you with one heavenly finger, giving your body what it’s desperately craved for so many weeks. “Fuck, baby’s pussy got fucking wet hearing me talk about how good I’d lick it, huh?”
That sends a bright flare launching through you and you gasp raggedly, both hands whipping out to snatch at his forearm where it disappears between your legs. “No, shit, wait, stopstopstopstop stop , I—”
His hand slips out immediately and yet you continue to tremble like his finger is still right there, like your clit is just imagining it so vividly that it’s successfully convincing itself of the illusion. The aching bit of flesh is burning, that good burn, the one that’s searing and bright that makes your muscles continue to chase the sensation long after the stimulation is gone. Fuck, he almost made you cum. He barely touched you for a few seconds and yet your fingers have to tighten into claws to slow your body down the fuck down, flexing against your thighs and trying your best to halt the impending climax.
By the time you’re able to wrangle yourself back from the edge and look at his reflection, his middle finger is already in his mouth and he’s blinking slowly at you, his pupils blown wide. You’re breathing hard at him, staring open-mouthed at the way his lips are closed below his second knuckle, how he takes forever dragging it back out again. You have to close your eyes. You have to clamp them shut and keep them that way, knowing you won’t be able to look at him through whatever he’s going to say next.
Except, oddly, he doesn’t say much.
“Shit,” he breathes, dropping his mouth to your neck once more. “Shhhit. I…”
Your eyes snap open in sudden, blind panic when he doesn’t continue, horrified at the possibility that he doesn’t like it. Dameron always has something to say, he doesn’t go speechless. “Oh—Maker, is it not—?”
“Mmmfuck, just—” he grits, panting hot air against your skin, “—fuck. Give me a second.”
You can only see the crown of his head with the way he’s angled, but you can see his shoulders a little further back. They start… moving slightly. Just the littlest bit, a smooth motion, like his whole body is slowly easing back and forth—
The nav controls are between his legs, you immediately realize. He’s grinding up against them with how close he is to you and your seat.
And suddenly, it’s like there’s a light at the end of the tunnel. A ray of sunshine that breaks through the raging storm. Dameron might cum in his pants like this. Which means you’ll win, and arguably more importantly, you’ll finally be able to cum. You don’t even take a moment to consider the potential consequences—how you’re going to have to withstand the stimulation until he succumbs to it, how you’ll have to outlast—but you’re not thinking straight. You’re not really thinking at all.
“You can…” you suddenly hear yourself whisper, and your heart pounds in your throat when he instantly stops moving. “One… one more. If you want. You can put your finger inside this time, it’s where I’m the… w-wettest.”
“Fuck,” Dameron croaks into the crook of your neck, his voice scraping low and rough and sending a tremor through you. “Fuck, okay, yeah—”
His hand slides across your hip and down, but you catch him just in time.
“But don’t touch my clit.” You try to sound as firm as possible through the breathlessness, still trying to put your foot down even when you’re giving in, and Dameron’s teeth come out as he stifles a soft groan into your neck in response.
“Yes, baby,” he murmurs obediently as his hand sinks down once more, and so diligently, he avoids it altogether. His fingers slide under your panties and fall straight down to your entrance, down to where you know you’re the hottest, where your pussy is flexing and pushing wetness out with a steady, wicked throb. The pad of his middle finger presses gently against the tight muscles there, rubs just the slightest bit to feel that resistance, and then the length of it eases inside you so slowly that your knees rattle against bulky metal.
“Fucking Maker , ” he hisses as he slides it in, his body making a sudden jerk against the controls.
Your eyes roll back at the feeling of something inside you after so long, after such a torturous buildup, and you grasp at his forearm again when it curls naturally up against searing pleasure. Oh, it’s so good, it’s so good, your hands shake while he very carefully moves it in and out, the raw sparks of heat threatening to incinerate you as your muscles cling to every ridge of his finger. He gets it sopping wet, bathes it so completely in your slick that you’re almost certain it’ll come out pruny and drenched.
“Shit, okay,” you pant, squeezing desperately around his finger, “o-okay, fuck, that’s enough.”
His hand pulls out… slower this time. He slips his finger out of you quick enough, but he drags the tip of it through your folds as he retreats, just barely grazing your clit and making you jolt in your seat. Shit, you don’t know if it felt intentional enough to fault him for it—mostly it just excites you, thrills you to have him edge you like this without really needing to put any effort at all into it.
Dameron lifts his head to sink his finger deep into his mouth once more, and you tremble as you watch him enjoy it, staring at the way his shoulders seem to relax as soon as your taste is on his tongue, how his face goes soft with it and he almost slumps.
Relief. Genuine, not embellished. He still doesn’t say anything after he slowly slides it out and blinks at you, no sugar sweet drawl telling you how amazing you taste, no candied words to make you give in and let him have another go. You’re both breathing hard at each other, staring, waiting to see who will break first.
Stars, you… fucking like this. You want him to keep going, but you can’t offer it again. It’s just too exposing, too revealing to let him you’re actually really fucking enjoying this, you can’t—
“Do you w—?” Your voice automatically comes out through the silence without your permission, sounding just absolutely fucking wrecked by this point, but his palm is already slithering back down as soon as you speak, and you make the softest little submissive noise in your throat at him taking immediate initiative like that. He’s not as careful about it this time—his hand finds its target with less frill, his finger slides in quicker, sinking deep into your heat with little hesitation, lighting you on fire from the inside out, and you bite the meat of your thumb to stay quiet.
“Fuck, this is so hot,” he suddenly breathes next to your ear while your legs spasm and you gasp brokenly. “This is so—fuck, pretty baby letting me do this to her, I can’t fucking believe—”
Dameron eases a second finger inside you this time, letting you feel that delicious stretch from this angle, unable to lift your legs or shuffle around to help and subsequently resigned to simply experience it the way he gives it to you. Your teeth have probably permanently indented your bottom lip from how hard you’re clamped down, a testament to how much you’re trying to hold back the loud moan you miraculously haven’t released yet. Somehow it makes it sexier, not letting him hear you, not having your own noises to drown out the spark of urgency in his voice beginning to peek through.
Shit, it’s too much. You can only let him touch you a few seconds at a time before you feel that familiar tug towards mind-numbing bliss, and the more he does it, the more appealing that feeling then becomes. It’s teasing you, floating right in front of you and calling into question what could possibly be so bad about just reaching out to meet it? You could. You could cum right now. What’s two weeks of pay? You could cum all night long if you want, that is a thing you can do—
Quickly snapping out of your hypnotic downfall, your trembling hands snatch at his forearm once more, and Dameron, the fucker, drags his fingers slowly over your clit on the way out— so not accidental, not even close to it this time, but the sensation makes your hips stutter upwards and chase it nonetheless.
“Fuck you,” you groan at his audacity, your chest arching as you drop your head back, “I said don’t touch my—” but two wet fingers slipping past your lips and onto your tongue muffle the rest of your sentence. Your heart does half a somersault before slamming down early, the taste of your pussy filling your mouth as you automatically start sucking on them.
“None of that,” Dameron tells you softly, massaging his fingers along your tongue before pressing a sweet kiss under your ear. “Be nice. I’m being nice.”
You should bite him. Instead, you just close your eyes and mphh weakly around his fingers, your body sagging as you give into it and let him explore your mouth with them, your lower muscles cramping up in painful desperation even when he’s not anywhere near that part of your body right now. Your tongue even comes up to lick between them, swirl around them so soft compared to how hard you’re puffing through your nose.
Dameron slowly inches his fingers out, letting the tips of them rest against your bottom lip for just a brief moment, before his hand is moving again. Not down, but back and around, so he can open his mouth and taste you another way this time.
Shit, you feel like you’re dying. You need air. Your hands clench into fists and you use the back of one to wipe the sweat from the bridge of your nose while he takes his time sampling you like this. If anything, he looks just as blissed out as before, continuing to rub his crotch up against the solid metal between his legs and teasing you with it as much as he’s teasing himself.
“Maker, let me do this for real tonight, okay,” Dameron pants after dropping his fingers from his mouth, sounding like he’s fighting for his breath while you can’t find yours at all. Your eyes flick down to watch the way his hand disappears behind the chair to grab the controls and push his cock up against them even harder, how he drops his forehead to your neck like he just can’t fucking handle it anymore. “Fuck, I’ll shave, I’ll do anything you want, just let me—”
“Cum,” you gasp out before you can stop yourself, and there’s a moment after it where his hips suddenly stutter against the controls, and you both freeze.
Shit. Shitshitshit, did that actually work?
No, you very quickly realize, his body isn’t spasming like it would if he finally emptied his load after a month and a half. He’s just… holding there, his head buried in your neck, completely still.
You didn’t mean it like that. Well… fuck, you did, but you didn’t realize you’d be that reckless about it, that upfront about reissuing the challenge.
Dameron pulls back to look at you from the side this time, but it’s too cramped—he keeps his head turned facing you even as his eyes flick up to the transparisteel to take in the finer details of your features, the thin sheen of sweat on your forehead, and the slightly alarmed way you’re blinking back at him, worried you just shot your blaster at him in the midst of a mutual ceasefire and you fucking missed.
You see the understanding in his eyes instantly fall into place, and it’s not fucking good. Ohhhhhh no, it’s not good. Your chest starts rising and falling rapidly, suddenly registering the position you just put yourself in. Fuck, you didn’t think—you saw your opening, so clearly, you didn’t have time to think about the consequences.
“D-Dameron…” you try your best to placate.
“Don’t touch your clit?” He asks quietly, the raspiness of his voice ripping a hole through you while his hand suddenly shoves its way back down your body once more.
“Dameron,” you whimper, your heart stuttering in panic as you grasp weakly at his arm reaching between your spread thighs, “Dameron, this is—this is against the r-rules—”
“You keep saying that,” he comments, his fingers easily finding the opening in your jumpsuit no matter how hard you flex your thighs against bulky mechanics to try and close them. “How clearly do you remember the rules? What were the rules again?
You open your mouth to respond but his hand sliding under your panties and down just obliterates any chance you were going to attempt. No words, nothing comes out but a shaky whine as his finger sinks into your soaking heat, going right for the kill.
“Come on, baby, the rules,” Dameron reminds you when you never give him an answer. “Tell me. No fucking, no jerking off, and…?”
You suddenly struggle forwards in a last-ditch attempt at preventing the inevitable, hoping you can scoot up enough in your seat to escape his reach from behind. But fuck, your thighs have been shoved wide open for nearly eight hours—none of the muscles are working the way they should be anymore. There’s just enough room in front of you to get there and you probably would’ve been able to do it at the beginning of the shift, even with his hand between your legs like this, but you’re sluggish and your thighs pull sharp and urgent with the movement. The frantic maneuver enough to veer his fingers off course just slightly, moving one of your lips to the side at an angle, and you keep pushing against the pain no matter how useless it is.
“—No cumming,” he finishes for you, and his other hand is slithering up under your arm and groping one of your breasts through the jumpsuit before shoving you back tight up against your seat once more, totally helpless against it. “Probably have another fifteen minutes or so before our shift ends. Better hold it in, pretty baby, because this one is all you.”
“This—this isn’t fair, this is—” The second the slippery pad of his finger presses hard against your clit, you’re biting your lip to cut off a breathless whimper that slips out. “This is… is sab— sabotage— ”
“Oh, I know,” he moans next to your ear, mocking your high plea of distress with a fake, overly sympathetic whine. “Feels so fucking good though, doesn’t it?”
Fuck, it does. The build feels like an orgasm in itself, just working your way to it. You’re already so unbelievably close after just a few seconds of direct stimulation, an obvious consequence of originally agreeing to such a hardcore edging workout. You’re pouring sweat, so swollen and tight between your legs as you do everything you can to revolt against your body’s needs.
“Oh fuck, stop touching my clit—” you gasp raggedly, heart thundering in panic while your lower muscles start to immediately seize up, “oh—fuckfuckfuck— Poe, take your finger off m—”
Instead of doing it, his hand just slows down until the tip of his finger comes to a halt, maybe less than an inch over top of it. You still can’t catch your breath though, not when you feel yourself throbbing against absolutely nothing, the calloused pad holding perfectly still over the bundle of nerves. The swollen bud still arcs and flares at a steady frequency, building and building, and you choke out a wordless garble, absolutely fucking furious that this is what’s gonna make you cum.
“Don’t make me cum,” you switch up your sentence but not the terrified plead in your voice, the way it’s pitching up and out of control in the dead quiet of space. He doesn’t even acknowledge it. “Don’t make me cum, don—”
“Say it again,” he prompts instead, and lightning arcs up your spine.
“Poe,” you wheeze, the words coming from you without thought, your fingernails digging into his forearm even as your hips jerk up into his touch, “fuck, don’t make me cum, Poe—please don’t make me c—”
“But it’ll be so good,” he counters lowly, and your clit throbs in desperation at the richness of his voice when he speaks like this, saying things from deep in his chest. “It’ll be so fucking good when it happens. Stars, you’ll feel so much better, won’t you? Cum right now and I’ll give you as many as I can until we have to go home.”
“N-No,” you whine, feeling his teeth scrape at the crook of your neck. “No, I can’t—”
“Cum for me,” Dameron raises his voice, sharpening it into a direct order. “Right now. Come on— fucking make yourself lose.”
“But I—I—” you sob, starting to feel your body curl inwards, nearly about to succumb to the burning, the tightening, right on its last breath, “I-I don’t want to cum—”
“And I don’t fucking care,“ he hisses while your hands start flexing unintentionally, grasping helplessly at his immovable forearm where it disappears between your legs, the dark hair sliding under your fingertips as you claw desperately at it. “You’ll fucking cum when I tell you to cum and you’ll like it, you disrespectful, cock-deprived, bratty little—”
And then everything goes dark.
No, literally. The stars disappear.
The cockpit is suddenly shrouded in pitch blackness, and you’re almost certain it’s because you pass out, except then Dameron is all but ripping his hand out of your jumpsuit and cursing repeatedly in alarm. You crumple in on yourself, eyes clamped shut and not hearing anything, right at the peak of your ecstasy and ready to soar into the light completely unassisted, your muscles doing all the work on their own—
“—shit, they’re way too close—” you hear his voice shout, “—we have to turn the engines on—Gold-Ten, baby, turn the fucking eng—”
You’re almost there, you’re almost there, you’re gonna cum, you’re gonna fucking—
Your first name, roared out in startling, blinding panic.
You don’t often hear it. Just during roll calls mostly, but only if you’re flying with a different squadron and need a new temporary flight designation for the day. First names hurt. You can’t remember a time you’ve ever willingly told anybody yours.
Your head jerks up to look at his reflection but something else beyond the transparisteel takes immediate precedence. Your brain takes about two seconds to catch up before thundering terror slams through you and halts your previously inevitable orgasm in its fucking tracks. A runaway train about to launch off its tracks suddenly slamming directly into a megaton force-field of cold, hard fight or flight instincts.
A staggering fleet of First Order ships silently plunging out of hyperspace on all sides—your powered-down x-wing stationed right in the middle of the drop location.
***
Stay tuned for part two coming soon!!
#poe x reader#poe dameron#poe dameron x reader#SMUTTTT#reader insert#star wars#fanfic#the formatting on this one is downright horrendous but im so mad that i cant even fix it right now so thatll have to come later im sorry
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The Villain and His Therapist - Pt 3
Part 1, Part 2
TW: PTSD episode
Juliet jerked awake, bolting upright in bed. Her breathing came in shallow gasps as she strained to catch her breath. Unease crawled under her skin like spiders and it made her hands shake.
She closed her eyes, working to quell the roar of her thoughts.
It was just a dream. Nightmares are a perfectly normal trauma response. Your body is just telling you what you need to heal from and releasing the effects of that trauma in the way it best knows how. Just a bad dream. Nightmares have no bearing on reality.
Only, it wasn't just a dream.
Her stomach twisted, plunging cold as she remembered the weight of Supervillain's scrutiny, the molten burning of his voice. Any time she stood still, any time she closed her eyes, she was back there again, tied to that chair...
The nightmares still danced behind her closed eyelids. She opened them again, rubbing her face.
When Villain stabbed Supervillain, it didn't sever anything vital. He lived. He was taken to the hospital...where he then escaped as soon as his condition stabilized.
Juliet was promptly thrown into Witness Protection, carted off to stay in a white-picketed house in a very normal, middle-class suburb far from home. She was given a new name for the time being: Jessica Stewart. It hardly held the same fairytale charm as Juliet Meadows, and she found herself missing the way it sounded on Villain's smirking lips.
She blinked as the thought registered, catching her off guard.
To her, the safe house felt empty and cold. While her home was filled with colorful trinkets and art on every wall, this one was bland and sterile in comparison. Clean white walls, wood furnishings. The lack of decor made it feel hollow. In the night, it felt as lonely and unnerving as a graveyard. The walls were thick with shadows. The darkness seemed to swallow her whole.
With a shaky breath, Juliet flicked the light on. A gentle glow washed over the walls, illuminating the space. Panic still clawed at her, so she looked around, dissecting every corner for anything that may be amiss.
She froze as she heard a light plink against the window. She stared at the glass, heart jumping into her throat.
Plink, plink.
Forcing her limbs to cooperate, she slid off of the bed to her feet. She padded across the space with tentative steps until she could peek out the window.
Her blood ran cold as her gaze fixed on a figure standing below. What if it was Supervillain- What if he'd found her and he-
Wait...
That wasn't Supervillain.
Opening her window, Juliet peered down at Villain. Moonlight pooled around him, highlighting his face enough for her to be sure it was him. She released a shuddering breath.
"Villain. How did you find me? What are you doing?" She blinked. "Are you...did you just throw rocks at my window?"
His smile caught the silver light as he tossed what looked like a pebble up into the air, then caught it again without looking. "It seemed fitting. You are Juliet, aren't you? I saw your light turn on, figured you could use checking in on."
She smiled slightly. "No one's supposed to know where I am. How did you find me?"
Villain took his hands out of his pockets to spread his arms wide. When he spoke, his breath clouded in the crisp air. "Doctor Meadows, I'm offended you have to ask that. I have my ways."
"You shouldn't be here."
He flashed a grin. "I do a lot of things I shouldn't."
She studied Villain, who looked up expectantly at her. With a sigh, she conceded. "Come around to the door."
Juliet shut the window and walked to the front of the house, opening the door. Villain stepped inside, his jacket slick with moisture, his hair damp and tousled by drizzle and fog.
He seemed to fill the space, making the room look smaller. In the dark entryway, he resembled his brother to an unnerving degree. The way the shadows caught the hollows of his cheeks and silhouetted the angle of his jaw.
She abruptly stepped back from him and turned the light on, chasing the shadows away. Swallowing, she looked at him again.
Villain's head was tilted slightly, observing her. As always, his defined attention prickled her senses.
She pictured the last time she'd seen him. His brother's blood spattered against his collar--blood he'd spilled for her--after Supervillain had suggested he loved her.
Juliet's vision swam and the world swayed fuzzy.
Warm hands caught her waist, steadying her. "Juliet?"
Villain's voice was uncharacteristically soft, sending butterflies swooping in her stomach.
"I..."
She sucked in a shaky breath, waiting for the world to narrow into focus again; into something solid and real and safe like it should be. It didn't. Her hands trembled.
"I...I can't breathe."
Juliet was distantly aware of Villain scooping her into his arms and carrying her to the couch, setting her down with care. He knelt in front of her. Her ears rang.
She heard the villain's voice as if from underwater.
"It's okay, you're alright. I'm here. Hey. Juliet."
The haze cleared a little and her eyes shot to him at the mention of her name. Villain brushed her hair back, his touch the only thing keeping her rooted in reality.
"You're okay," he repeated softly once he had her attention. He held her gaze. "Breathe in and out with me. Like this." He exaggerated slow breaths.
She mimicked him, keeping her eyes trained on him, zeroing in on the touch of his skin against her temple. She felt untethered, like she could watch herself float away.
"Okay, let's...let's try a grounding exercise," he said as if reading her mind. "Can you squeeze my hand?" He held his palm out to her.
Juliet took hold of it, giving it a squeeze. Her grip was weak and quivering. Villain ran his free hand up and down her arm to keep her present.
"Squeeze it harder. Twice more."
She obeyed, her grasp more firm this time.
"Good," Villain praised, his voice a velvet purr. A shiver trickled down her spine.
He led her through a few more grounding techniques until she was calmer. The last one, she'd taught to him herself mere weeks ago.
Juliet smiled slightly, still feeling a bit numb around the edges, but much more like herself. More human.
"Who's supposed to be whose therapist here?"
Villain offered a gentle smile and it flooded her veins with warmth.
"You were kidnapped, Doctor Meadows. I don't think being a therapist makes you immune to trauma."
She looked at him as he tracked her with attentive concern. Villain frowned and reached out, gently tracing his thumb over the healing slash that marred her cheek. His thumb dipped down to brush her bottom lip.
Juliet's cheeks burned. "Villain."
"Juliet," he countered, his typical cocky playfulness dimmed to a murmur.
His hand lingered on her cheek. Their gazes interlocked.
"Stay," she whispered.
Villain's smile made her dizzy all over again. "Always."
Part 4
General Taglist: @writing-on-the-wahl , @valiantlytransparentwhispers , @distance-does-not-matter , @redbircl , @lilaccatholic , @crazytwentythrees , @thelazywitchphotographer , @deadlygemuwu, @chibicelloking , @lolafaiy , @thinkwrite5 , @putridghost , @tobeornottobeateacher , @sunflower1000 , @bouncyartist , @thanatoastie , @vlerlove-deactivated20210701, @feyriddle, yet-another-heathen, @silverwhisperer1
You’re on this list if you’ve asked to be tagged in any of my writing before. I prefer doing a general list instead of individual ones since that is tedious to keep track of. Let me know if you want to be added or removed. :)
This took me so long to finish, I've been working on it a few lines at a time for like 5 days. At first, it just wasn't coming easily to me and I was getting frustrated, but I think it came together well enough to post! Hope you enjoy. Thanks for your support, lovelies.
((Also do you like my new profile pic? this is my fave pic crew I've made of myself lol its cute))
#this took me 5ever#i hope you like it!#i rly like juliet#villain x civillain#civillian x villain#writeblr#writing snippet#my writing#flash fiction#hero x villain#short story#creative writing
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It Was Yours, Why Does It Have To Be Mine?
Requested by this anon who decided to break my heart: “Hear me out. Dream x fem!reader angst. Originally, the reader was the one who wore the smiley faced mask. Dream and the reader were in love and dream proposed, reader said yes, then later that night, the reader passed away (either sickness or getting hurt idc) and in order to keep her memory, dream wears the mask in her absence.”
Dream x fem!reader
trigger warnings: some swears, character death, general angst
premise: in game au; You and Dream have been together since what feels like the beginning of time, and it had always seemed like you would be together, and now he had finally had the confidence to propose, unfortunately, Wilbur and his new developing country of L’manburg have other plans for you
{hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh this one hurt}
{I listened to Sebelius : Finlandia Op.26 on repeat while writting this and only questioned my sanity twice}
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You giggled, “Where are we goingg?”
“Somewhere special,” Dream said, raising your entwined hands enough to press a kiss to your knuckles, “Trust me, your going to love it.”
You laughed again, free hand reaching back to adjust the knot holding your mask in pace, “You’re ridiculous.”
Today had marked the four year anniversary since you and Dream had started dating officially, and he had insisted in abandoning all his duties to the smp for a day to take you out.
The two of you had been wandering through the woods for a while now, and you were fairly convinced that he had no idea where he was going, but still you didn’t say anything.
“It should be just through here.” He said, leading you down between two trees.
A moment later you came into a clearing, decorated with lights, a picnic set up in the middle, with a perfect view of the rest of the hill side.
“Oh my god!” You squeaked.
“You like it?” He asked.
“I love it! This is so cute, Dream!”
Dream chuckled, “Bad found the spot, and I got Sapnap to help get all this stuff out here.”
You grinned to a point where he could tell even with your mask on, “It’s perfect.”
Carefully he flicked at the edge of the wide mask, “Take that stupid thing off and kiss me.”
“It’s not stupid!” You protested, “Come on Dream just kiss the smiley face, its good enough.”
Reluctantly he pressed a kiss to the mask and you beamed, immediately moving to slip it off, kissing him properly before going to sit down on the picnic blanket.
You looked back up at him, “While don’t just stand there, come on! Sit with me!”
~~ A while later, after the food had been eaten, you were leaned back against Dream, eyes closed happily, mask still off to the side, “Thank you, for this.”
“Of course.” He smiled, “But, uh, actually there's one other thing?”
You hummed, peaking up at him, “Whats that?”
“Well- I- I’ve been thinking about it for a while and- well- I was wondering, if you’d- if you’d marry me?” He asked.
Your eyes shot open to see the ring box in his hand, “Your- you’re not kidding? This is real- this is for real?”
“Course its real,” He chuckled, “Would you rather have me get on one knee to prove it?”
Dream quickly maneuvered to be In front of you, on one knee, the ring box held out in front of him, “I have loved you, since the beginning of time (y/n) and now I’m asking you to become my wife.”
Your hands moved to your face in shock for a moment before dropping back down as you practically tackled him, “Oh my god!”
“Is that a yes then?” He chuckled, doing his best to sit up with your weight still on him.
You nodded eagerly, and he slipped the ring onto your finger, “I love you.”
“I love you too.”
Dream grinned, kissing you once more- only to be distracted by a yell from down the hill.
“Dream! Dream!”
“Oh god,” He muttered, standing up, “I’ll be right back”
You stood as well, stooping to grab your mask and fastening it on your face before following him.
By the time you had caught up, Sapnap was giving a report on what was going on.
“He’s starting a new country- says their starting a rebellion.”
“Who is?” You asked.
“Wilbur,” Sapnap said curtly, motioning over to where wall were being built, “TommyInnt, Tubbo and Eret have all joined this crazy plan.”
“Thats insane.” You muttered.
Dream frowned, “I won’t have this. We’ll stop them. Sapnap, see too it that all of there resources are destroyed.”
The man nodded, and hurried away, already pulling out his flint and steel, and Dream turned to you, “This is the exact opposite of what I was hoping for today.”
“We’ll figure it out, together.” You assured.
~~
Later that night, after you had returned home, Dream had gone out again, hoping for a civilized discussion with Wilbur, before getting launched into any war.
He stood at the gates of L’manburg, looking up at were Tubbo sat on watch, “I need to speak to Wilbur.”
“Why?” Tubbo challenged.
Dream crossed his arms, “Because this doesn’t have to become something bloody and violent, now get inside and get him.”
Scared, Tubbo quickly scrambled down off the wall and toward one of the buildings that had risen with the walls.
A moment later he came back to open the gates, Wilbur following behind, “I was beginning to wonder when you would show up. I knew you’d have a problem with this.”
“Wilbur whatever this is it needs to be shut down, now.”
“That's exactly what I thought you’d say,” Wilbur said, stuffing his hands in his pockets, “That's what tyrants always say.”
“I am not a tyrant!” Dream protested.
“Is that why you’re forcing your agenda on us? Read the fucking message dick head, we don’t want to deal with you any longer. ‘ere. read this, its the conditions of our independence. We are free and there is nothing you can do to stop us.”
Dream took the book Tubbo thrust into his hands, ‘the declaration of independance’
“Forever the nation of the dream smp has cast sin upon our great land of the hto dog van,” Wilbur quoted, “This book declarers that the nation that shall hence forth be known as the L’manburg is free and independent from the DreamSmp, totally, completely and wholly.”
“You’re starting a fight you can’t finish.” Dream warned, handing the book back.
Wilbur scoffed, “On the contrary Dream. You’ve threatened a country that is more than willing to fight back. Tommy, hurry up and get inside!”
As Wilbur barked the last words Dream turned to see Tommy coming out the darkness, an empty bottle in one hand and a dagger stained a dull rust color in the other.
“It’s done.” The teen muttered.
“She put up a fight?” Wilbur asked.
Tommy, even scared by what he’d done, couldn’t help but look at Dream, a glint in his eye, “(y/n) won’t be a problem anymore.”
On pure instinct Dream ran, the only thing in his mind that he had to get to you.
The stillness of the house was broken as Dream crashed through the door, “(y/n)? (y/n)?!”
Shaking he moved through the house, the was no sign of a struggle, no sign of a break in, but there was a slight lingering affect of a potion in the doorway leading to your shared bedroom.
From the color of the particles he knew it had been weakness, and he carefully pushed through into the room.
It was dark, and for a moment, with your form stretched out in bed, he could almost think that everything was fine, that you were just asleep, waiting for him.
Turning on a light he saw that the reality was much different.
Blood pooled around you, dripping from the bed and soaking the sheets, evidently coming from the gaping holes in your stomach.
The worst part of it was the mask clasped in your hands, held out, almost like you were offering it to him.
“(y/n)...” He whimpered, still frozen in the door, “What do I do? Now that your gone? Oh god what did he do to you?”
Some how the fact that Tommy had seen your face, the one thing you kept hidden from everyone, except him, seemed to hit Dream the hardest, even as you lay dead.
Slowly, he moved forward, taking the mask from your hands.
~~ Dream stood at the top of the hill, looking over the crater.
Somewhere off to the side Phil and Techno were celebrating the victory over everyone, the huge hole where L’manburg had been stretching all the way down the bed rock.
The porcelain was cold against his face, but Dream had long since gotten used to the uncomfortable feeling of the mask.
With the mask that you had given him, the mask he had unwillingly taken from you had kept everyone from knowing his pain. And now, he had made sure they felt all of yours and his own.
The chain with your engagement rings felt heavy around his neck, but he couldn’t help grin at Tommy, who had barley made it out of the wreckage, “Looks like you won’t be a problem anymore.”
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Bad Girlfriend
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harry lewis x fem!reader
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@ketamineharry suggested a harry imagine based off of Anne-Marie’s Bad Girlfriend and voila
please check my pinned post for request/prompt info and my masterlist
You cancel plans for me - I cancel ours on you - Say I'd be back early - I don't get in 'til 2 - You ask me where I've been - I tell you something vague - Think I messed up again - What can I say
You were sick and tired of Harry and his behaviour. When you first got together, you chalked his actions up to being young and dumb. And then to getting used to having more money. Then you blamed it on having to deal with so much at such a young age.
The excuses piled up, one on top of the other. You knew one day it would all come toppling down around you, drowning you and Harry in a sea of problems that you doubted you’d be able to survive. You’d excused cheating, been by his side during hangovers from hell and comedowns that took too long to make Harry realise that the high really wasn’t worth the pain. You’d rubbed his back and handed him bottles of water and paracetamol and nursed him back to health, only for him to go and get in the same state the next weekend and expect you to help him gather the pieces back together again.
You’d tried to patch things up. Every time that you went to Harry to air all your concerns, tell him that if he doesn’t get his act together that you’d leave, and he always promised that things would be better this time. But something would always happen. There’d be plans he’d forget or cancel. He’d get too drunk and end up with hands over another girl’s body.
“Ooh, you look nice”, Harry commented as soon as you answered his FaceTime call. “What are you doing?”, he asked you.
“I’m off out with some girls from uni tonight”, you told him as you stood up from the sofa and started gathering your things together.
“I thought you were coming over?”, he said, a small pout forming on his lips.
“Sorry”, you said nonchalantly. “I’ll make it up to you, yeah”, you told him half-heartedly.
“Yeah, whatever”, Harry huffed. “Come back here after?”, he suggested.
“Sure”, you said, a small smile on your lips. “I’ve gotta go, their taxi just pulled up. Love you”, you rushed out, hanging up and shoving your phone into your clutch, along with your keys, card and some cash.
Harry 💕: where are you it’s 11?
Harry💕: y/n c’mon i miss you
Harry💕: am i waiting up for you or not?
Harry💕: its 2am
You didn’t read the texts until you were swaying on the spot in the lift of Harry’s apartment building. Your vision was fuzzy as you tried to find the right key for their front door. “Y/N?”, Harry asked, opening the door.
“Hey”, you slurred, stumbling towards him. “I couldn’t see your key”, you told him.
“Where’ve you even been?”, Harry asked, voice dripping with distaste and disappointment.
“Here, there, everywhere”, you giggled.
“Come on, go to bed”, Harry said sternly. “I have a shoot tomorrow and Josh will kill me if I’m late or lacking”, he told you.
“Oh, I am so very sorry”, you drawled, exaggerating all of your words, much to your own amusement.
“I’m not being funny, Y/N. Go to bed or go home”, Harry said sharply.
Your face dropped, the small square inch of your brain that was yet to be drenched in vodka and whatever else you’d been drinking lit up with anger. “Fine”, you snapped. You stormed down the hallway, sure of your footing this time and not stumbling once.
“Where are you going?”, Harry called after you.
“Home!”, you shouted, wrenching the front door open and slamming it behind you as hard as you could.
You shivered in the cold, late night wind of London as you waited on the curbside for your taxi. As soon as the car pulled up, you slid into the backseat and rattled off your address. The street lights and neon signs of London passed by in a blur of alcohol and anger and regret. “Thanks. Keep the change”, you muttered, handing a note over to the driver and getting out of the taxi.
Once you’d got back into your apartment, you changed into some pyjamas and took your make-up off as quickly as possible. You crawled under the covers, pulling them around your body and getting comfy in the middle of your bed.
Part of you felt a little guilty for how you’d treated Harry, but a bigger part of you couldn’t find the effort to care. You’d put up with Harry acting like this for 6 years, he could tolerate you doing it once or twice.
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You wanna meet my friends - I say another day
“Another day, Harry”, you sighed, heavily, turning back to the work you were trying to get done for your classes.
“You always say that. You’ve been on this course for, like, a year”, Harry whined.
“I know but I really need to focus on work at the moment, Harry”, you told him. “I started my degree later than I wanted to anyway and then I didn’t commit to it like I should have last year because of…”, you trailed off. “Another day”.
“Because of what?”, Harry asked, voice taking a combative edge as he sat up straighter.
“Harry, I don’t want to get into this again”, you sighed heavily, slumping into your chair.
“Well, you started it!”, he argued. “So finish your sentence. Go on!”, he goaded.
“I couldn’t commit to my degree because I was too busy looking after you!”, you shouted. “Is that what you wanted? Me to lash out? Fucking well done”, you spat. You gathered up your things as quick as you could, closing your book and shoving things into your bag.
“Where are you going now?”, Harry asked frustratedly.
“Home. I have an essay to do for next week”, you muttered as you shoved past Harry.
Things between you and Harry were only getting worse. You knew about the other girls, but the both of you just pretended that you didn’t. All of his friends saw Harry as some sheepish kid with a loud mouth girlfriend, but they never got to see the Harry that you were seeing more and more. The Harry that held things from years ago against you, the Harry that was becoming more controlling by the day, the Harry that would raise his voice when things went even slightly not his way… The Harry that wasn’t the same Harry that you fell in love with.
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'Cause I'm one in a million - More like in a billion - I don't think it's cheating if I'm kissing other women - I do some shit you can't forgive - And you better get used to it
The more you and Harry argued, the more his friends didn’t like you. They hid it well, especially Simon and Josh since you were such good friends with Talia and Freya. But you noticed the side glances you’d get anytime you laughed a little louder than usual, any time you’d say something that would make Talia or Freya cackle. You’d notice the looks that they would send Harry when you had the audacity to go and dance and your own, or when you’d be on your phone whilst everyone else was fighting to keep you out of the conversation.
You had no doubt in your mind that Harry was telling them bare-faced lies about you and hiding the truth about himself. You knew that they had no clue about Harry’s cheating, about how bad his drinking and substance abuse had truly been, how much he actually relied on you for day to day functioning. All they knew was that you were loud, argumentative and didn't give Harry the time of day when it came to uni work.
“Do you think she knows she’s punching?”, you heard Ethan ask JJ.
“I mean, it’s so obvious. Harry’s miles out of her league. C’mon man!”, JJ laughed in reply.
You looked to Harry to see his reaction. You knew he’d heard what was said, but based on the look on his face, he couldn’t care less. You didn’t need the validation from your boyfriend’s best friends, but it would be nice if your boyfriend would at least defend you or reassure you.
You rolled your eyes and turned to leave the table, heading towards the toilets. You were facing the mirror, touching up your hair and make-up, when Freya and Talia walked in. “What happened?”, Talia asked.
You told them what you’d heard and watched as their faces contorted into looks of horror. “Oh my god!”, Freya exclaimed. “What did Harry say!?”, she asked, coming closer to hold you hand supportively.
Your silence answered their question perfectly. “I can’t believe him”, Talia huffed, wrapping her arms around you.
“Things haven’t been great, but I never thought he’d just sit and let his best friends slag me off practically to my face”, you told them. Your eyes were watery.
“Hey, babe. Don’t let your mascara run”, a dark haired girl told you, handing you a tissue. “Whoever is letting someone slag you off is stupid”, she assured you.
“My boyfriend”, you said sadly.
“I hate boys”, she laughed darkly, rolling her eyes, before rejoining her group of friends.
You, Talia and Freya emerged from the toilets around 5 minutes later, once you were sure that your tears had dried and weren’t going to restart. The three of you walked towards the table, Freya and Talia immediately sliding next to Josh and Simon.
“Where’s Harry?”, you asked, not seeing him anywhere. Ethan gave you a look and pointed towards the dancefloor before turning back to his conversation with JJ and Vik.
You glanced over towards the dancefloor, hoping you’d see Harry. Thankfully, he was towards the edge, back turned towards you. You watched as he turned around, ready to try and grab his attention. His eyes met yours, briefly filling with panic, before darting back down to the girl in his arms.
“Fuck this”, you muttered, as Harry’s friends and Freya and Talia all watched as he tried to assess the situation and what to do.
He watched as you walked closer, looking ready to send the stranger away. Harry’s eyes followed you as you sailed past him and towards the middle of the dance floor. You could feel eyes on you as you began dancing to the music, letting the beat mix with the alcohol and take over your body.
“Did you sort things with your boyfriend?”, a female voice asked. It was the girl from the bathroom. You rolled your eyes somewhat playfully at her.
“No”, you snorted. “I came to speak to him and he was all over another girl”, you told her. Your eyes darted over to where you’d last seen Harry. “That’s him there, sucking face with the blonde”.
“I hope he’s your ex-boyfriend now”, she told you, raising an eyebrow.
“It’s complicated”, you admitted, looking down in shame. It wasn’t news to you that you were letting Harry treat you like a doormat, but you had yet to muster up the courage to leave him. Just as you looked up, ready to offer to explain it over a drink, someone behind you shoved you, sending you catapulting into the girl’s arms.
“Careful there, can’t have you falling for me already. I’ve not even started flirting yet”, she told you with a smirk. “Martha”, she said politely, holding out a hand.
“Y/N”, you told her with a shy smile as you accepted her outstretched hand.
“Care for a dance?”, Martha asked you, pulling you closer with the hand that was still in hers.
You didn’t care if Harry and his friends watched as your bodies rolled together. Harry had never danced with you on a night out like this, never held you shamelessly in a club for everyone to see. Harry had never held your face so securely as he pulled you in for a kiss in front of everyone around you.
“What the fuck, Y/N?”, you heard beside you.
“Is this the boyfriend?”, Martha asked once she’d pulled back and let her eyes flutter open, eyeing Ethan up and down as soon as she had.
“The boyfriend’s best friend”, you told her, preparing to step out of her hold.
“Last time I checked, the boyfriend was preoccupied with someone else. Get him to come and find me when he wants his girlfriend. We’ll be right here”, she said, voice powerful and allowing no argument as her arms held you closer.
Harry never came to find you. The two of you left the club in separate taxis and you left with a new number saved in your phone.
-
You should be with someone else - Someone who is not myself
“Harry, you deserve so much better”, you heard a voice say as you walked into Harry’s apartment. You walked down the hallway quietly, lingering just behind the door frame to eavesdrop on the conversation.
“We’ve been together for so long, though”, Harry sighed.
“Did you not see what she did the other night? She was all over some other chick!”, a voice, Simon’s, exclaimed.
“Maybe it was just a mistake, y’know”, Harry tried to reason.
“She’s not good for you, Harry”, JJ, this time, said.
You’d heard enough. You turned the corner, coming face to face with all 7 of the boys. “Y/N…”, Harry trailed off.
“No, no. Carry on talking about me, it’s fine”, you said, voice lathered in artificial sweetness.
“Damnit, Y/N, it wasn’t like that”, Harry snapped, surprising everyone but you. “What are you doing?”, he asked as you started gathering a blanket off of the back of the sofa and plucking a hoodie off of the back of a dining room chair..
“Getting my shit and going”, you hissed.
“You’re being dramatic”, Harry scolded.
“No, Harry. I’ve put up with your bullshit since we were 18. I’m sick and tired of it. I’ve put my life on hold for long enough. You need someone, but I’m not that someone anymore. I’m sick of looking after you and letting your friends hate me just because you’re too much of a coward to tell them the truth”, you spat.
“We know everything, Y/N”, Ethan said smugly, rolling his eyes as he leaned back in his chair.
“So you know that I started my degree late because I had to get Harry sober? You know that he’s cheated on me more times than I can count? You know that I’ve tried for 6 fucking years to get him to love me as much as I love him and it’s never fucking worked!?”, you all but yelled, shocking everyone in front of you.
“You think I don’t love you?”, Harry asked, voice frustrated and angry.
“I know that you don’t love me as much as I love you”, you told him simply. “You cancelled 3 anniversary dates to go on nights out with the guys. You made me cancel a weekend away because you wanted to go to Dubai. You get annoyed when I try to do my uni work. You let Ethan and JJ slag me off, practically to my face, and didn’t say a fucking word”, you told him.
You looked at Harry, waiting for a reaction. “Do you know how heartbreaking it is to hear my boyfriend’s best friends, people I’ve known for 6 years, say that I’m punching and that you deserve better? Did you think about how much it hurt me when you didn’t even flinch at what they said?”.
Harry’s face lit up in anger. “It’s not like you’ve been a good girlfriend!”, he spat.
“Because being a good girlfriend to you is like a full time job. It’s a full time job and I haven’t had a day off in over 5 years. So yeah, I’ve been a bad girlfriend… Boo fucking hoo”, you grumbled.
Harry remained silent, a sheepish look crossing his face. “We can try again”, he suggested quietly.
“We have! Over and over again!”, you exclaimed, tears welling in your eyes as you spoke. “I’m exhausted, Harry. I’m tired of looking after you when I’m just as hungover as you. I’m tired of not making plans because I literally can not afford for you to cancel on me anymore. You don’t value me or anything that I do. Your friends hate me and you don’t care. I’ve been your last priority for years and I’m sick of it. We’re done. I’ll put your stuff in a box and bring it round”, you told him, voice losing more and more strength as you spoke.
“Y/N…”, Harry tried, reaching for your arm.
“Don’t”.
#harry lewis#w2s#wroetoshaw#harry lewis imagine#harry lewis x reader#harry lewis oneshot#w2s imagine#w2s oneshot#w2s x reader#wroetoshaw imagine#wroetoshaw x reader#wroetoshaw oneshot#sidemen#sidemen imagine#sidemen oneshot#sidemen x reader#song imagine#lyric imagine#uk youtube#uk youtube imagine
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Stitches and Pucks
i swear i tried writing the whole fic from the 3rd and 2nd pov in the beginning but hockey harry is so dang loud he’s like hang on honey this is MY story so let me tell this one ☠️ so here we are. i had loads of fun getting inside his head though, i hope you like it!
massive thank you to my biggest cheerleader @smokeinherperfume 🥺💛 and ken i’m so sorry for making you read an LA Kings fic 😂 @emotionally-imbruised
warning: smut. there’s no actual bow chicka wow wow stuff though but there’s some thigh riding 👀
[17k]
Harry
I swear I’m gonna kill Zayn.
That fucker just slammed my face into the boards, and as I’m trying to push back while flexing my jaw because that’s the right thing to do when you’ve got your face smashed into the boards, he tries to push me back again. Well, not a fucking chance. I give a particularly hard push back to get him off my back and I’m able to free my stick from the boards and put the blade to ice.
Because we’re playing on home ice here at Staples Center and I know its speed and consistency like the back of my hand, it takes nothing but a short tap on the puck and it shoots back between both of our legs. We scrabble, throwing elbows and shoulders and even kicking at it with our skates to expel it out. It’s a hard-fought battle, probably not lasting more than a few seconds, but it’s starting to wind me up because fuck if I’m gonna let them score. We’re up 4-2 against The Sharks, and with only under six minutes left to play in the game, I’d like to keep it that way.
I really don’t see it coming. And as much as we hate each other’s guts, it probably wasn’t even intentional, but it still hurts like a mother when Zayn’s stick pops upward, the end catching me just above my left eyebrow. I don’t feel any pain at first, but red, blurred vision definitely lets me know I’ve got blood streaming down my face. The ref blows the whistle and the play stops as the penalty is called.
The pain hits me next, and I bend over at the waist, my clear eye watching as a stream of blood hits the ice and freezes. In just about a few seconds, I feel a towel covering the cut and I hear the new team doctor say, “alright… let’s get you off the ice.”
Her hand stays steady at my back as I lift up straight, taking the towel in my own hand to hold it in place. The doctor walks alongside me while I skate to the bench, which has an exit door on one end that will lead back to the locker room. A few of my teammates slap me on the shoulder as I walk past. Harvey, who plays the same position as me but on the second-line yells out, “get stitched up so you can come back out and kick his pansy ass.”
I can’t help but chuckle, because that’s exactly what I plan to do.
“Up on the table,” the doctor says briskly and I watch with my one good eye as she quickly starts preparing the necessary supplies. I hop up onto the table, and in just under four minutes, my very own Doctor McSteamy has my injury evaluated, lidocaine injected, and is now closing the cut with stitches.
Good grief, she’s a fucking vision. Has a slammin’ body too, which no doubt would feel fucking fantastic underneath me. She probably doesn’t even realise it, but she’s got her little tongue sticking out the side of her mouth and I bet that’s something she does when she’s trying to concentrate on what she’s doing. I can feel my dick starting to twitch, so I close my eyes and get my mind out of the gutter before I get a hard-on. Fucking embarrassing.
When I’m sure I’ve got my downstairs head situation under control, I open my eyes again. She’s placing what I’m guessing the last suture on the cut and I make sure I put on my most dazzling smile as I look at her because I can be devastatingly charming when I want to be.
“Hey Doc,” I lean a bit closer to her when she’s done and murmur, “you should let me cook you dinner at my place tonight. You know, as a thank you.”
“No, thank you,” she replies without even looking towards me, preferring to busy herself with putting away the supplies that she used to tend to my cut. “I was just doing my job.”
“Alright then, no dinner at my place tonight,” I say with a sly smile. “But how about giving me your number so I can take you out sometime?”
She snorts in reply. “I’m not one of your puck bunnies.”
“No, you’re not,” I smirk at her. My tone is matter-of-fact when I add, “you’re one hot doctor.”
Not sure what I’m expecting, but this is definitely not it. Most women would blush and drop their knickers in an instant when I give them the tiniest bit of my attention, let alone a compliment, and let’s just say that’s why my bed is rarely empty. But it seems like my charms don’t work on this doctor since all I get is a fucking eye-roll.
“Are you always this forward?” She asks, still not looking at me.
“I’m a simple man, Doc,” I tell her with a shrug. “I see something I like, I go and get it.”
“Good for you,” she says dismissively, but I don’t miss the hint of amusement in her tone.
“Does that mean I get your number?”
She lets out a chuckle and finally turns to look at me. “That means I like your way of thinking.”
“So, no number?” I pout like a damn child, and apparently, the sight is hilarious to her. She throws her head back and laughs, and when she looks back to me, I get a wink.
“Sorry sunshine,” she smirks at me and I can’t help but ogle at her lips.
Perfect fucking lips.
“I don’t shit where I eat,” she adds.
Now, this is funny, so this time I’m the one tipping my head back laughing before I bring my gaze back to her. “You know our General Manager, Sloane Knightley?”
“Of course,” she replies, eyebrows furrowed in confusion.
“She’s with Alex, right-winger,” I tell her with a grin. “Now, Brynne Adams, have you met her yet?”
“The Athletic Trainer?”
“That’s the one, and she’s dating Matt, left-winger.”
“What?” Her jaw drops and it’s the cutest fucking sight. I’ve always thought of myself as a tits-man, but apparently now I’m a jaws-man too.
“Oh I’m not done yet,” I smirk at her. “Sarah Jones, Head of Equipment Manager, do you know her?”
She nods. “I’ve met her twice.”
“She’s with Mitch, right defenseman. Now, you probably haven’t met this one yet, but our goalie, Adam, is the only one married between us first-line players. His wife, Rachel, is the head of our in-house legal team. So look around Doc, everyone’s bloody shitting and eating around here,” I finish with a grin.
“Yeah, that doesn’t change a thing,” she insists. “That won’t be me.”
I give her one last glance as I hop off the table before I walk towards the door, pretty sure my eyes glitter with mischief as I say, “yeah, we’ll see, sunshine.”
—
The Owner’s Box is a local sports bar in El Segundo. Located only a stone’s throw away from the team’s practice facility at Toyota Sports Center, it has become the go-to hangout for a lot of the players ever since the facility opened in 2000. I like this place because it carries 140 types of beer and I like beer, and honestly the food is great as well.
As much as we like to mix and mingle with the fans, which is super fucking cool in my opinion, the manager always ropes off an area on the second floor for the players so we can drink and chill out without fans swamping us. Usually when we arrive, we’ll hang around the first-floor bar area for a bit to give the fans an opportunity to take pictures and ask for autographs before we head upstairs.
It’s always crowded after the game because everyone knows they can find us here, but it always gets extra busy whenever we win. Tonight, there’s an actual line of people waiting to get inside.
I nod at a bouncer and enter, and it takes me a good half an hour to make it to the second floor where I find several of my teammates sitting at some of the tables or standing around talking.
Winding around tables, teammates, and hot women since several puck bunnies have been allowed to go up the second floor and are doing their best to get noticed by the players wearing outfits that fit them like a second skin, I make my way over to Alex and Matt who are already sitting at one of the tables nursing their beers. Those two are my best friends since we’re linemates, but normally I’d go stand over with the single guys and start my selection process for whatever woman who’d warm my bed for the night.
Not tonight though. Never thought this day would come but I’m not here for a hookup tonight.
Alex gives me a knowing grin as I sit down since I told him in the locker room after the game about my exchange with the hot doctor earlier when she tended to my cut and how she turned me down. Well, he and several other of my teammates since there were a few there in the locker room with us and they had ears to listen. I’m pretty sure I could even hear Mitch chuckle, which is honestly one of the world’s seven wonders since the guy barely talks let alone laughs.
“How’s that cut feeling?” Matt asks as I take a seat in front of him.
“Feels like a butterfly kissed me there,” I tell him, which gets a deep belly laugh from both him and Alex. We hockey players would never admit to being hurt in a fight. Ever.
The voices in the second floor immediately go silent and I see all eyes swing towards the stairs, and when I look there I see our General Manager walks in alongside Coach Higgins, followed by some staff of the team. Cheers start ringing as she walks towards our table, no doubt to sit next to her man, and then I hear a low chant, “Sloane! Sloane! Sloane! Sloane!”
Matt and I do the same since not only Sloane is more of a close friend rather than a boss who signs our paycheck once she steps outside of the GM office, but as the only female GM in the league, she managed to turn our team into champions. We won the Stanley Cup last season and no doubt she’s going to push us to victory again this season. Alex has a shit-eating grin plastered across his face as his gaze focuses on his girl, looking so damn proud of her. Man, my best friend is fucking whipped.
Sloane blushes, slides a grin to Alex, and when the sound dissipates and the guys all start sitting back down, she says, “shut up you big jerks, do you want me to cry?”
We all bark in laughter.
I stand up to give her access to the booth so she can sit between Alex and I, and Alex immediately wraps his arm around her shoulders when she’s within his reach to pull her closer to him and proceeds to give her a searing kiss. I whip my head at Matt and we both make a fake gagging noise.
“God, I think I’m going to be sick,” Matt says and Alex flips him off, still giving his woman a hell of a kiss and without even looking at us.
“I know, right? Not used to you being so fucking mushy mate,” I add. “Gives me the willies.”
Sloane laughs as she breaks the kiss. She leans over and playfully punches me in the arm. “You’ll have a good woman one day, Harry.”
“Yeah,” I drawl, then I give a faux shudder to make sure they understand I like being single. “No thanks.”
“You sure?” Matt cocks an eyebrow, but before I can reply, something behind me catches his attention. “Ooh, isn’t that the new doctor?”
I whip around so fast I fucking knock a bottle of ketchup off the table and it goes flying across the floor. Matt is laughing so damn hard he almost falls off from the booth, Alex is leaning over as he laughs, pressing one palm down on the sofa with the other to his ribs as if they hurt from laughing and Sloane is dabbing at her eyes as she laughs hysterically.
But yes, holy shit, that’s the doctor stepping off the stairs and onto the second floor with Brynne and Sarah. Now, I know Brynne will most definitely walk towards our table since Matt is here, but Sarah will most definitely walk towards the bar where Mitch is talking with some other guys.
Come here. Come here. Come here.
Fuck, she goes with Sarah to the bar.
“Oh no,” Alex says low and in warning. “I know that look.”
I don’t bother to give him my attention, keeping my eyes pinned on my girl. But I do ask him, “what look?”
“Your gaze just became predatory,” he says with a laugh.
“God, you have it bad for her,” Sloane teases but I ignore her as I stand up. Brynne gives me a wink when I walk past her and now I have a suspicion that my teammates blabbed to their women about what happened earlier tonight and now they’re trying to set me and the hot doctor up. Otherwise, why would she even be here? Fucking crazy, I know, but they’re all nuts.
“Go get her, tiger!” Matt quips as I walk towards the bar without looking back at their table.
The doctor has ditched the white lab coat that she wore earlier tonight at the arena, and I’m glad she has her back to me since I don’t make a secret of my ogling. My eyes are pinned to her ass in those skinny jeans and fucks sake I need to get a grip.
“Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine,” I say with a smile as I stand next to her, trying to get her attention. That was lame, I know, and I feel like I want to punch myself for not being cool.
She laughs and fuck if that’s not the best sound in the world. It’s warm, rich, and husky, which warms my blood and speaks to my dick for some reason. Not sure if she’s laughing because she genuinely thinks I’m funny or is that just a pity laugh, but honestly I could listen to her laughing all day. Wouldn’t be opposed to hearing her moan one day, preferably with her underneath me, but if her laugh is all I can get at this moment then I’ll take it.
“Can I get you a drink?” I ask her and I mentally prepare myself for her to decline since she turned me down earlier in the arena, so it totally takes me by surprise when she only shrugs and says, “eh, why not.”
I’m sure my smile is ten times wider and she sees it. “What’s your poison?”
“I’ll have whatever you’re having.”
“What if I want the hard stuff?” I raise a single brow. “Sure you want that?”
“What?” She smirks at me and my inner caveman is screaming for me at the sight to just throw her over my shoulder and take her home right this instant. But obviously I won’t do that, since I’m pretty sure that’s called kidnapping and I know I won’t look good in prison stripes. “You don’t think I can take it?”
“Oh honey, I know you can take it,” I laugh as I lift my finger to the bartender. “I’m only wondering how you’ll handle it.”
“Well, you’re gonna have to wait and see.”
—
It’s three hours and many beers later, well for her anyway since I limit myself at two because I’m driving, and we’re stumbling out of the bar, laughing our asses off.
She’s telling me about the funniest thing that happened at the hospital a few months ago. At the beginning they thought they had a domestic situation because the couple came separately; one via ambulance and one via police car. But when they finally got the whole story, it turned out to be an anniversary celebration gone wrong since the wife had a seizure when she was going down on her husband and bit down on him.
“Are you joking?!” I stare at her, mouth gaping in astonishment before I burst out laughing hysterically.
She shakes her head and laughs with me. “I wish.”
“Did you manage to save his manhood?” I ask with a half-grin and half grimace.
“My colleague did,” she replies. “I was busy with the wife, she had rather extensive head trauma.”
“From the seizure?”
“Well, in panic and pain, her husband didn’t think much and just grabbed the closest thing he could find to try to get her to loosen her bite, which sadly was an old rotary style telephone and hit her in the head with it. She was okay in the end, though.”
“That’s one hell of an anniversary to remember for sure,” I chuckle, and the giggle she emits pretty much confirms she’s bladdered. Well, not the kind of drunk where she wouldn’t remember tonight I’m sure, but I bet she’ll wake up with a massive headache.
“I sure hope you’re not driving,” I say as I steady her by the elbow when she wobbles as we step down the stairs.
“Sarah, Brynne and I took an Uber here from the arena earlier,” she mutters as she pulls out her phone from her handbag.
“Let me drive you home,” I quickly say before she gets the chance to order a ride. Not sure why I did that because I certainly have never offered women a ride home without the promise of getting in their knickers, and I can assure you that I won’t be getting anywhere near hers tonight, but maybe I just don’t want this night to end yet.
We’ve been glued at the hip from the moment I bought her first drink, and three hours purely just talking with the same woman? That’s a record in my book. While I’m not ashamed to admit that I also like looking at her, honestly, to me that’s just an added bonus. I think it’s safe to say that I have never met anyone like her before. Granted, with most women usually there wasn’t much talking, but from what I learnt in just the span of three hours is that this doctor of mine is a hell of a lot of fun.
I swear she’s just a pure fucking joy to be around. Conversation with her is like a never-ending merry-go-round and she makes me laugh a lot. She’s bright and witty and she’s one of those people that knows no strangers. She can easily talk about anything from politics to sports even to crude jokes, and add on to that, she’s just so kind and inclusive that several times tonight I actually had to drag her away to one of the back tables so we could have a proper chat without the crowd around us.
“You don’t have to,” she gives me a hesitantly sweet smile.
“But I want to,” I gallantly insist as I turn and offer my arm to her. “Come on, I just want to make sure you get home safe.”
“Well, alright then,” she smirks, her hand easily slides into the crook of my elbow. “I could save a few bucks.”
I roll my eyes and tease her, “didn’t take you to be such a skinflint.”
“Hey!” She playfully slaps my arm with her other hand as she laughs and I’m glad I amuse her.
No, seriously... I like her laugh.
There’s no doubt that she wants me, just as there’s no doubt that I totally want her. We’ve got this really heavy flirting going on all night, and plenty of innuendo, but I won’t be surprised nor disappointed if she doesn’t invite me inside when we get to her home and nothing happens tonight.
We’ll get there, I’m sure.
Until then, I’m completely fine drinking beer, being her personal chauffeur, and getting to know her a little better.
—
We always finish team practice with battle drills. From the end zone face-off spot to either the left or right of the goalie, we pair up and battle for a goal. One on offense, the other on defense, we shoulder, bump, and juke our way across the short distance to the net. It’s a four to five second drill that will make us sweat, and then it’s over. We skate to the end of the line, where we wait to do it again.
“Saw you left with the new doctor last night,” says Matt, my battle partner today, with a shit-eating grin as he taps his stick against my leg. “How was she?”
I ignore his question not only because I don’t have the answer that he’s looking for because nothing really happened after I dropped her in front of her house, but also because this feels different. She is different. Had it been just another one night stand, I wouldn’t think twice before I blab all about the dirty details with my teammates. Great lays, lousy lays, I honestly have no filter and I tell them all.
But this is YN, and fuck if I know why and what this really means. All I know for sure is that I want more than to just tap that. The thing is, my teammates will probably not understand because they can’t really see past the fact that the new doctor is a gorgeous woman who I’ve been lusting after for about a week.
“Dude,” Matt says to get a reaction from me, smacking me a little bit harder with his stick. “How many times did you score her last night?”
“Don’t talk about her like that,” I growl.
“Whoa, dude,” he apologises and I swear his grin gets even wider. “Sorry. I guess you’re serious about her?”
“Serious about what?” Alex pipes up from in front of us. He’s paired with Adam, our goalie. There are four pairs of skaters in front of Matt and me, but there’s an equal number on the other side. We’re alternating.
“None of your fucking business,” I mutter, willing the line we’re in to go faster so I can escape from my nosy teammates and head to the doctor’s office.
Alex and Adam take off, Alex with the puck. They ram their shoulders into each other, legs braced and skates digging hard all the way to the net.
“Did you at least kiss her?” Matt nudges me with a sly grin, still trying. Man, he’s not a quitter.
“No,” I answer shortly, hoping that will satisfy him. “Just dropped her at her house and left after I made sure she got inside safely.”
“No. Fucking. Way,” he quips dramatically. “Who are you and what have you done to my teammate?”
Play continues, the next set of skaters in our line taking off and I ignore Matt but apparently he’s not done poking his nose in my business. “Oh, we’re not done yet buddy. Let’s go out tonight so we can squeeze some more gos out of you. Just you, Alex and I, how does that sound? Brynne said the girls are going to have a girls night out so I know he’ll be game.”
The girls means my teammates’ better halves, and honestly, hanging out with just my bros does sound good. Don’t get me wrong, those girls are cool—yes, my boss, Sloane, included—and they’re fun to hang out with. My teammates sure hit the jackpots with their women. But before Sloane and Brynne came along, the three of us were thick as thieves. There was a time where we went out almost every night and that’s why we’re more like brothers than teammates. Sometimes I miss that since we don’t get the chance to do it as often now that they act like old married couples, so yes, this does sound nice.
However, as tempting as it sounds, I want to hang out with my hot doctor more than my mates. That is if she’ll have me though.
“I can’t,” I say, clearing my throat. I lean in towards him and whisper, “I want to take YN out to dinner tonight.”
“Seriously,” he drawls dramatically. “Who are you and what have you done to my best friend?”
Again, I ignore his comment.
“Alright, I guess that’s a definite no to dinner with me and Alex then, huh?” Matt says in an exaggeratedly glum tone.
“The doctor is way prettier than you,” I reply blandly.
“Fine, go on your date,” he says with a slap on my back. “But I want to book some time with my best friend in the near future if it’s not too much trouble.”
“We’re going on a four day road trip in two weeks,” I mutter as I roll my eyes at him. “I’ll snuggle you then.”
Matt sidles up to me, lays his head on my shoulder, and bats his eyelashes. “Oooh, I can’t wait.”
I shove him off with a chuckle. That bastard.
—
“Help me, Obi-Wan Kenobi. You’re my only hope,” I say after two knocks on her office door. I can hear her chuckle as she tells me to come in.
God, I have turned into such a dork. But I like hearing her laugh and there’s nothing I wouldn’t do to hear that sound again and again.
“Hey,” she smiles at me as she looks up from her computer. “What’s wrong?”
“Knee’s a little sore,” I tell her, not feeling the slightest bit of guilt for my lie just so I can have a few moments to talk to her. “Thought you could take a look at it.”
Her brows draw inward with concern and she motions towards a table. “Did something happen?”
“Nah,” I shake my head as I hop onto the table with my legs hanging over the edge and kick off my slides. “Just came off the ice and noticed it.”
“Alright, go ahead and lie back,” she says as she turns to the sink and washes her hands. “I’m going to do some range-of-motion tests.”
I stay silent as she maneuvers my leg, trying not to focus too much on the feel of her soft hands against me or the smell of her perfume. Fuck, she smells good. Fruity and flowery. Like berries and the heart of rose and bitter wormwood, and the scent is fucking delicious.
“Do you feel any pain when I do this?” She asks with one hand on my calf, the other on my thigh as she rotates my knee.
“Not really,” I shake my head. What happens here today will go in my chart and I don’t want to call any attention to my knee.
“How about this?” She asks, rotating the opposite way.
I shake my head again. “Nope.”
The hand on my calf slides down, grasping the bottom of my foot firmly. With the other hand still holding onto my thigh, she pushes hard into my foot. “This cause any pain?”
“Nope,” I say quickly, and then add, “I think it’s nothing more than my muscles getting back in shape. But I figure some ice can’t hurt, right?”
She slowly lowers my leg and gives me a sweet smile. “Well, I don’t think anything’s loose or torn, but if you’re worried about it, I can schedule an appointment with Dr Green.”
She is the team’s orthopaedic surgeon, and hell I’m not about to do that. Talk about an unnecessary red flag. “I think it’s just a lack of conditioning. Got lazy this summer.”
“You sure?”
“Yeah,” I nod firmly. “I just need some ice and I’m sure it’ll be fine.”
“Well, alright then,” she says as she turns back to wash her hands again at the sink. “I’ll let Brynne know and have her prepare you an ice bath.”
“Oh hell no,” I quickly shake my head and grimace. “That bloody thing is pure torture and my balls will go into hibernation until next summer. Just an ice pack will do, Doc.”
She laughs again. “Okay, just an ice pack. I’ll be right back.”
She turns and heads through the door to the treatment room and I take a moment to admire her gracefulness as she moves. She looks delectable today in her scrubs, which are the typical light blue you see in the hospitals, and they hang on her tiny frame loosely. I’d actually never seen her in them before since she usually just wears normal clothes underneath her white lab coat in the arena, but I swear this might possibly be the sexiest outfit I’ve ever seen her in. I’m sure that has to do with the fact that I respect her so much as a doctor that it just heightens my attraction to her, and I can’t help but wonder if she’ll play dress-up games with me in the bedroom when the time comes. Because, well… I certainly wouldn’t mind getting a thorough exam from her.
“Here you go,” she says when she comes back. “Scoot back on the table and stretch your leg out. Keep this on for twenty minutes, then you can go.”
She places a towel over my knee, then lays the bag of ice on top.
“Thanks, Doc,” I tell her.
“Just doing my job,” she quips, and then walks back over to the box of supplies she had been unloading.
“Well, you’re very good at it,” I add and I can hear her chuckle. But I got nothing in response, so I add, “speaking about good things… I had a good time last night.”
“Did you?” She quips, still not looking at me but I can hear from her tone that she’s smiling.
“Well, yeah,” I say with a confident nod. “Didn’t you?”
“Eh, it was alright,” she smirks at me over her shoulder as she walks towards her desk.
“I want to do that again,” I tell her nonchalantly before I ask with a lopsided grin that I hope she finds charming, “will you let me take you to dinner tonight?”
“I can’t,” she shakes her head as she turns to look at me.
“Why? Got a hot date already?”
“Nah,” she chuckles. “Sarah invited me to a girls night at her place. I wasn’t gonna go because they seem like a tight-knit group and I don’t want to intrude, but Sloane came by here earlier to ask me again and she’s bribing me with tacos and margaritas, and well… I can’t say no to both.”
“Fair enough,” I laugh. “But have fun then. They’re all really nice, you’ll fit right in.”
“Thanks,” she gives me an easy smile, and I hope it’s subtle enough that she doesn’t realise this, but my breath actually hitch a little while I stare at her lips.
“How about tomorrow night then?”
“Well-” she begins, but she’s cut short when she hears her pager beeping. “Oh shit, I need to go back to the hospital. You think you’re okay there? Go to Brynne if you need something else.”
“Okay, don’t worry,” I tell her with an encouraging smile. “You go and save some lives, Doc.”
—
The arena is packed, the fans are at a fever pitch, and we’re in the midst of a fierce battle with the Anaheim Ducks. We’d taken them on in the first round of the playoffs last season, and while we swept them, they’re still a formidable opponent. Not to mention there’s a long-standing rivalry between the two teams, and add on to that, we’re in the regular season now so every win counts. The pressure is on.
As a center, I’m a shooter, not a fighter. That means I’m relied on to score, not to play defense or get tough with other players. My body is too valuable to mess it up in a slugfest, so I’m rarely enticed into a fight. Sometimes it takes everything in me to keep my cool, but I know I’ve got to trust Mitch and Marcel, our defensemen.
Just like right now. We’re late in the second period tonight, and one of the Ducks players, Jeff Azoff, is being a dick. He cross-checked me in the back, not strong enough to slam me into the boards, but it was enough to alert Mitch who’s skating right behind us.
“Do that again and I’m going to kick your ass,” I hear Mitch tell him. That guy doesn’t really talk, but he wouldn’t think twice before beating the hell out of someone if they mess with our team. He takes his job as a defenseman seriously. When he’s on the ice, nobody dares to touch his guys.
The fucker did it again, still not forceful enough for a penalty to be called, but Mitch was quick to drop his gloves and took on that Azoff guy. He kicked his ass good.
Man, I wouldn’t want to get on his bad side. Mitch is a badass. Unfortunately though, the fucker did land a lucky hit to his temple and his skin split just to the side of his eyebrow. Knowing Mitch, that will be nothing but a ten-minute trip to the treatment room where YN will stitch him up. I’m sure as hell he wouldn’t let her give him anaesthetic so he can get back on the ice as soon as possible. As I watch him skate towards the exit, I make a mental note in my head to buy him a beer tonight as a thank you.
The play resumed, and there are about forty seconds left on the clock before intermission. The Ducks are down 3-0, and they pull their goalie once they gain possession of the puck since they have nothing to lose. Luckily our stamina is stellar, so our legs are still fresh as we defend.
They pass the puck back and forth, looking for the long shot or a quick dump inside for a goal. My back is to Adam, our goalie, as I keep myself facing the action, letting my stick play loose.
The crowd’s screams escalate in tune to the clock ticking closer to zero. With a sharp flick of the wrist, the puck makes it past Alex, our right-winger, to the inside. Players crash the net, Marcel poke checks, and the biscuit shoots out towards me.
It’s a full-on breakaway as I shoot down the ice, one on one against the goalie.
Tap, tap, tap… back and forth… puck to blade of stick.
I close in on the goalie and juke left.
He goes left and I juke right.
He keeps going left, so I keep going right and flip the puck up and over his shoulder into the back of the net. The red light burns bright behind the net and the fans go wild. That was my third goal tonight, and it’s the perfect timing for intermission since there’s no way we can play with all the hats being thrown onto the ice.
It takes merely a second before I’ve got my teammates surrounding me. Alex, Matt, Marcel, Adam and Niall, one of the defensemen from the second line who’s filling in for Mitch. Pats of their gloved hands on my helmet, stick blades gently against my calves.
We skate to the gate that would lead us to our locker room. We all trudge there, taking up spots around the open space as we wait for Coach Higgins to address us. It’s what he does at the end of every period. If we play poorly, we get our asses handed to us. If we play stellar though, like tonight, he’d be effusive in his praise.
But as much as I’d love to hear nice things from the Coach, there’s nobody I want to see more than my very own Doctor McSteamy. And yes, just to put it out here since I’ve been calling the hot doctor by that nickname, I’ve got to admit that I did watch too much Grey’s Anatomy in the summer because there’s not much I could do during the off-season. My sister didn’t let me watch past season 10 though, because she said it’s not worth it.
“Need to get my knee taped,” I tell Alex on my right as I stand up. We have 17 minutes before we start the third period and I figure that should be enough time to see the Doctor and secure a date in the near future. “I’ll be right back.”
“Bullshit,” he grins and there’s a clear amusement in his eyes. “You want to see your girlfriend.”
“Shut up,” I growl.
“What’s this?” Matt asks curiously as he takes a seat next to Alex.
“Our buddy here wants to see his girlfriend,” Alex’s grin doesn’t lessen as he tilts his head at me. “Needs to get his knee taped, he said.”
“Conjugal visit in-between periods? Classy,” Matt says with a salacious grin and I glare at him. When his laughter dies down, he points out, “okay, jokes aside, that’s a shit excuse. If you really need your knee taped, you’d see Brynne and not YN.”
“Yeah, well, I’ve got nothing else here,” I grumble like a stroppy child. “Can’t hit my own head just to get a cut, can I?”
“That would be outright dumb,” Alex laughs. “But come on, I’ll go to Brynne and make up something so at least you can tell the doctor that she’s busy.”
The treatment room is just down the hall from the locker, and when I get there, I notice the door is half open. I see her sitting on the little desk with her computer, so I knock lightly on the door to get her attention.
“Hey, you got a minute?” Her head swings up when she hears my voice and it takes everything in me not to just march there and kiss the fuck out of her when she offers me the sweetest smile. Crazy how much effect this woman has on me. “I need my knee taped but Brynne’s busy.”
“Sure, I was just reading the players’ medical chart,” she replies. “You were on fire out there by the way.”
“Thanks, Doc,” I smile at her.
“Skates, socks, shin pads and pants off,” she says as she walks towards the supply cabinet.
“Jock strap too?” I can’t help but smirk.
“No,” she rolls her eyes playfully as she grabs a towel and hands it to me. “Put this over your lap.”
“Do I have to?”
“Well, yeah, unless you want me to get a peek of your dick.”
“You know I wouldn’t be averse to that, Doc,” I say with a waggle of my eyebrows.
She gives me a school teacher, disapproving-type look but the slight twitch of amusement in the corner of her mouth is hard to miss. “You’re so bad.”
“You have no idea,” I grin, but she doesn’t see it because she has her back to me. She’s pulling another cabinet open to get adhesive, gauze and tape before knocking it close with her shoulder.
This is ridiculous but I’m actually a bit self-conscious of getting practically half naked in front of the hot doctor. I have absolutely no clue why and this had certainly never happened before.
I shed my gear from the waist down and she keeps her back to me until I get on the therapy table and the towel is covering my lap. She lays out her supplies on the table beside us, her slender fingers using a pair of scissors to open a new package of tape.
I take a moment to admire her as she cuts off uniform lengths of tape and attaches them to the table. She’s not in the scrubs I saw her in last week, but if you think I’d be disappointed, even just slightly, then you’d be wrong because you could put her in a burlap sack and to me she would still absolutely look edible.
Tonight, she’s rocking a mustard-yellow trouser suit with wide legs and a cross-over pleated blouse underneath her white lab coat. The crisscross swath of silk that wraps around her upper body does lovely things to her tits, and I realise I’m quite the pig to be thinking about her this way.
“Left knee?” She asks. “I’ve just finished reading your medical chart when you came in. Arthroscopic medical meniscus repair two years ago.”
“Yeah,” I nod. “Sometimes it feels a little loose. A good taping is all it needs.”
“Any soreness?” She asks as she steps up in between my legs that dangle over the table.
I shake my head and say, “nope.”
“Clicking or popping?”
“Nope.”
“Locking?” She inquires as she lifts her face up to mine.
She’s fucking close enough I can smell her minty breath. I could easily kiss her, but I’d probably get kneed in the nuts, so I just shake my head and say, “nah, just feels a little loose.”
“Okay,” she says, laying a soft pat on my thigh. It’s nothing but a move of reassurance, but fuck if I don’t feel it all the way through my gut.
She grabs her supplies and I can’t keep my eyes off her as she gets to work taping my knee. It takes merely a few minutes, and then she finishes the wrap, holding the end while taping it with the precut pieces. “There you go,” she says, stepping back.
“I’ve got something to confess. My knee was absolutely fine,” I blurt out, the words popping out of my mouth so suddenly, I’ve got no clue where they came from. Clearly my subconscious decided to overtake my sensibility and make itself known. “I came here because I wanted to see you. Thought I’d try to get your phone number and a date one last time before I give up.”
She gives a tinkling laugh. “You’re not a quitter, are you?”
“Well, no,” I reply with a grin. “So, tomorrow night. I’ll pick you up at seven. How does that sound?”
“Listen,” she smiles at me sweetly as she begins, but I don’t like the sound of it. Nothing good ever comes after ‘listen’. “You’re a nice guy-”
“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” I cut her as I hold my hands up. “Don’t go with the ‘nice guy’ brush off. Clearly I’m not if you won’t give me the time of day.”
“I just don’t think we’re looking for the same thing-”
“What?” I ask incredulously.
“Look, please don’t take this the wrong way, but you seem more like the bang ‘em and leave ‘em type to me.”
“Is that really how people see me?” I ask her curiously, without an ounce of defense in my voice because there’s no point in denying that. I really don’t care what people think, but I’d like to hear her opinion.
“You’re a player, Harry,” she says with a chuckle. “And there’s nothing wrong with that. You’re young and in your prime. You should totally be sowing all your wild oats. It’s just… I’m at the point in my life where I realise that meaningless sex without something deeper isn’t very fulfilling. I don’t want that anymore.”
I feel a metaphorical light bulb goes off in my head.
I know she doesn’t mean to, but fuck, she hits me right where it hurts. She’s called that exactly right. This is something that I’ve actually realised and known for a while, especially after seeing my best mates being the happiest they’ve ever been after they found their women. There’s not an ounce of regret in what I did though, because just like my girl right here said, there’s nothing wrong with that. There was a time when burning my way through all the hot women in LA and having them take turns warming my bed had its appeal, but not anymore.
Maybe this is why I’ve been feeling unfulfilled lately. I know I’ve got a great career, more money than I could ever need in a lifetime and endless selection of gorgeous women to warm my bed every night. What more could a man possibly ask for, right? But at the end of the day, it’s just me in a monstrosity of a house that I call home.
Maybe deep down I know I don’t want it to be just me anymore.
“I think I’ve actually known that for a while, but the way you point that out, I think it’s drilled home now,” I admit as I face her.
“What do you mean?”
“That casual, meaningless sex without something deeper isn’t very fulfilling,” I say with a smile. “I mean, yes what I did was fun, but then I look at my best mates and see how happy they are with their women. Of course I rib them good because hey, that’s my job as their best mate…”
She laughs.
“...but that doesn’t mean I never look at them and think, fuck, I want that one day. Maybe the idea didn’t really appeal to me because I had never found the right person, who knows. But I swear I don’t want just sex with you. I want more. Do I know what I’m doing? Fuck, no. I haven’t even been on a proper date in years. But I do know that I genuinely want to get to know you better, Doc, that is if you give me the chance.”
She gives me a dopey smile when she asks, “you mean all that?”
“I really do,” I nod solemnly. “Now let me prove it to you. Go on a date with me.”
“Tell you what,” she begins, her eyes sparkling with mischief. “If you go back on the ice and win the game, we can go to The Owner’s Box when you’re done to celebrate just like the other night. And if you behave, I’ll give you my number this time.”
“Want me to behave, huh?” I say teasingly with a waggle of my eyebrows. “Don’t fancy a bad boy?”
“Oh I actually have it bad for bad boys,” she smirks. “My favourite character in Harry Potter is Draco Malfoy.”
“Okay, I’ve got a counter offer,” I say as my laughter dies down. “If I get MVP tonight, which I’m pretty sure I will since you said it yourself that I’m on fire tonight, you give me your number straight away after the game and let me take you out to dinner. I’m thinking seven tomorrow night.”
Another roll of those gorgeous eyes that twinkle slightly at me. “Pushy, aren’t ya?”
“Only when I want something,” I tell her with a grin. “And I want you.”
“So do you want me or do you want to go out with me?” She asks slyly, tilting her head to the side.
“You gonna kick my balls if I say both?”
“I admire honesty,” she murmurs softly in that sexy, husky voice that seems to flow through my body and straight down to my dick.
“Hey boyfriend and girlfriend,” I hear Matt chirps from the doorway and my spine stiffens involuntarily. His shit-eating grin doesn’t lessen a bit even when I give him a glare. “Hate to steal your man, Doc, but the game is starting again soon and we kinda need our favourite asshole right here.”
“You two break a leg,” she chuckles. And then as an afterthought, she adds, “just so we’re clear, I don’t mean that literally.”
—
Manhattan Beach’s high-end strip of boutiques and restaurants are hugged by the beach on one side and some of California’s most expensive real estate on the other. It’s southern end blends seamlessly into smaller Hermosa Beach, which is similarly quiet but has a tight concentration of bars and restaurants near the town’s pier that attract bar-hoppers at night and sun-bleached dropouts during the day.
The Kings players’ houses are scattered evenly across the two towns. Some of us are clustered within a block or two of several teammates; others sprinkled little more than a mile or two away. All but one of the first-line players live in Manhattan Beach though, and we can easily walk or ride a beach cruiser to everyone else’s house.
YN lives in Silver Lake, and the drive to pick her up takes me about forty minutes. I know she must make a pretty good bank being an ER doctor, not to mention that she works at two places, but her house doesn’t scream that. It’s rather tiny, I’m betting not more than seven or eight hundred square feet max, and there’s not much of a porch but on the outer edge is a hanging basket of flowers.
There’s no doorbell so I rap my knuckles on the door. Flecks of peeling paint get knocked loose and fall to the concrete porch.
“Coming,” I hear her yell from inside and I can imagine her plopping in an earring, grabbing her handbag, and wondering if she turned the curling iron off. She sounds frazzled and rushed and I can’t wait to fucking see what she looks like when she opens the door.
And there she is.
She has a black dress on, and it’s not little but it’s spectacular. The neckline of the dress skims just below her collarbone so no skin or cleavage is exposed, but it doesn’t matter because the narrow waist and flared hips, all cocooned in black is sexy as shit. The hem of her dress comes down below her knees and the dress is so well fitted that I know there has to be a slit up the back so she can walk.
“Good grief you’re a sight for sore eyes,” I mutter as I let my eyes roam down and then back up again to find her smirking at me.
She’s got an off-white clutch bag tucked under an arm, and her head is leaning to the side so she can put her last earring in, exactly as I’d imagined.
“You’re not too bad yourself,” she says, still smirking at me. I’d worn my best suit tonight in black with black shirt underneath and no tie. Glad she likes what she sees.
I step back so she can lock her door, and she turns to me as she tosses her keys in her clutch. I hold my arm out to her and ask, “ready?”
She nods and smiles as she curls her fingers in just below my biceps, then I escort her to my car.
I’m taking her to this new restaurant that both Alex and Matt recommended when I asked them last night for the finest restaurant in LA. It had been so long since the last time I took a woman out for a proper date, so I knew I needed to ask my mates and that they would have the answer. They both swore by this place called Apron, but then told me it took at least two weeks to get a reservation. Luckily though Alex had booked a table for him and Sloane tonight, and they gladly gave me the reservation. Sure I had to take a good deal of ribbing from my teammates and their women last night at the bar where we celebrated our win, but I knew it would be worth it.
The drive to the restaurant is short, only about ten minutes. And we lapse into the same easy conversation right away, just like we did the other night at The Owner’s Box. Today was my day off and I did absolutely nothing so I’ve got nothing interesting to tell, but she had plenty of exciting cases at the emergency room today, which included a toddler swallowing a penny.
“Holy shit, how did you get the coin out?” I ask her.
She laughs. “You don’t take it out. You’ve got to let the kid pass it naturally.”
“He can do that?”
“Well,” she begins. “I did take an X-ray first to make sure that it was small and could pass safely.”
“Okay, okay, okay… what’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever had to remove from a patient?” I ask her with childish curiosity.
“Honestly, I think I’ve removed everything on the surface of the earth,” she snickers. “Coke bottle, tapeworms, coins, candles, but the strangest has got to be a stuffed animal. It was a Curious George doll, and… let’s just say that he’s no longer curious.”
“You’re joking right?” I bark in laughter as I park my car. We’ve arrived and I swear that was the shortest ten minutes of my life. “I mean… who does that?!”
“I wish,” she says with a wrinkle of her nose. “You’d be surprised if you know how many weirdos out there.”
I’m still chuckling as I exit my car, then I walk over to the passenger side to get her. I hold my arm out to her, and her hand so very easily slides into the crook of my elbow.
“You don’t think I’m one of them, right?”
She gives me a playful shrug. “Well, I don’t know, you might be a weirdo... I mean, I don’t know you well enough yet.”
I give her a smart-ass smirk. “Let’s remedy that then.”
—
“How’s that one?” I ask her as I finish a mouthful of this chocolate thingy. It was a chocolate ball concoction the waiter had poured more hot chocolate over, which then melted the ball to reveal a raspberry chocolate torte inside. She had a bite, but it was too rich for her. I agree though, it was a lot of damn chocolate.
“You’ve got to try this,” she says, spearing the lemon meringue pie with her fork, top it with a little bit of pine nut ice cream and holding it over the table to me.
It’s a completely intimate move and one that I didn’t expect from her tonight. I mean, she was reluctant to go out with me in the beginning and needed some convincing, so I expected her to be reserved and cautious. But hell I’m not complaining.
I lean in and let her feed me the dessert. The flavours explode on my tongue and I think that’s the best we’ve had tonight.
I don’t normally indulge in dessert, but they all sound good so I told her we should order all the ones we like the sound of. Which was most of them except that cucumber mousse and pickle ice cream because those sound like disasters on a plate.
“Good, huh?” She asks with a smile.
“Really good,” I tell her. “I think I like that one best.”
“Finish it then,” she says as she pushes the plate towards me. “I can’t possibly take another bite. I’m stuffed to the brim.”
“Alright,” I say with a chuckle as I pull the plate closer to me. “So, when are you free again so I can take you out to another date?”
She chuckles. “We’re not even finished with this one.”
I roll my eyes at her, then I ask, “are you having a good time?”
Her smile turns dopey and I know she’s just as smitten with me as I am with her. “This is definitely the best first date I’ve ever been on.”
“If we were finished, considering how things have gone, would you go out with me again?”
“I would.”
“Good,” I say with an emphatic nod. “So, weekend or weekdays? When will it work best for you?”
—
I slow the speed on the treadmill, taking me down from a brisk run to a slow walk so I can cool down. Normally I like to run outside in the morning, but I woke up late this morning and we had a team skate scheduled at ten, so I figured I’d just do my workout afterwards at the arena.
Only a few of us actually have a gym membership outside. Most of us prefer to work out at the arena because not only is the equipment better, but we also have an abundance of teammates to work out with and that’s always nice.
I walk for about five minutes to cool down, then I turn the machine off and wipe my face with a towel. I grab my phone and water bottle and turn for the barbells, as today I’m working my chest and shoulders. Mitch and Marcel are already lifting, both defensemen who tend to focus on brute strength versus speed and stamina, so I’m not surprised they didn’t go for the treadmill. I also see Matt there, and I bet Alex will join us too after he’s done cooling down.
“Have a nice run, princess?” Marcel asks dryly as I set my stuff down near the bench press.
“I’m not the one who has to prove my manhood by how much weight I can lift,” I return with a sly grin.
“Yeah, well, your manhood is in a dry spell,” he says as he loads some weight onto the bar. Pre the hot doctor, both Marcel and I were the only single guys in the first line. He’s just as much as a player—on and off the ice—as I was, but now I gladly pass the title to him.
“Not true,” Matt quips with a grin. “He went on a date last night.”
“No shit,” Marcel turns to me in astonishment. “With who?”
Before I can even answer Alex throws a quick glance at us, flashes a shit-eating grin, and yells from the treadmill, “the new doctor.”
“But I saw you two got pretty cosy at The Owner’s Box last week,” Marcel says, as if he’s still confused as hell.
“Well yeah, she was cool, so I took her out again,” I say firmly.
“Dude, what’s wrong with you?” He blinks at me. Eyes all round and not comprehending. “You never look at the same woman twice.”
“So?” I ask, playing dumb.
“Ooh, I get it,” he says with a smirk. “Pussy that good, huh?”
“Hey,” I cut in with a warning. “I’m not there yet.”
They all suddenly stop whatever they’re doing and turn to me with raised eyebrows. Yes, Mitch included, which I’m actually quite surprised.
“Whoa, hang on,” Marcel says. “You haven’t tapped that yet?”
“You’re serious?” Matt looks at me in disbelief. “Not even last night?”
“Dude, I gave you that reservation last night to give you the opportunity,” Alex says as he walks towards us. “I was genuinely worried about your balls.”
They’re still looking at me confused, but Adam howls with laughter. “Don’t listen to these pigs. Rachel and I took it real slow at the beginning of our relationship too, and I got to tell you, the anticipation was half the fun.”
It’s true. I’m in no rush with YN because I know we’ll get there sooner or later. I can be patient when I want to be, and right now I honestly want to. I want to prove to her that when I said I wanted to get to know her, I meant her as a person and not just carnally.
I could tell that I confused her last night when I dropped her off at her doorstep after our date. I gave her nothing but a soft, brief kiss to her cheek, then told her to get inside, lock up and get some rest. Sure, she was confused for a few seconds, but the smile that I got after she realised that I really did want to take things slow was so much more than worth it.
“So you think this thing with the hot doctor is going to go the distance?” Matt asks me.
“I do,” I say confidently. I’m not dumb enough not to realise that she hasn’t fully let her guard down yet for whatever reason. Maybe she’d been badly hurt in the past, maybe it’s my past that causes her to be a little bit sceptical, I mean... let’s be honest, I was a player through and through. But that doesn’t scare me though, because I know I’m in it for the long haul. So yes, I can say it with confidence that this thing between us is going to go the distance.
“Well, if you fuck it up, I’ve got the first crack at her,” Marcel says with a salacious grin. I don’t think twice before I grab my wet towel and throw it at him. It hits him right in the face, and my teammates howl with laughter.
All this talk about her makes me want to see her again. I’ve secured a second date last night for next Wednesday since that’s when both of us will be free, but that’s still four days away and I can’t wait that long. So I pull up my phone and type out a quick text to her.
Hey, what are you doing today?
I grab my water bottle and take a slug. Before I put my water bottle down, I already got a response. I need to go and get a new bed frame. Really can’t stand this old thing anymore.
I can’t help but chuckle. She did tell me last night about her bedroom set which was apparently really old, but she couldn’t get rid of it since it’d been in the family for a few generations and her grandmother gave it to her when she bought her house.
Want some company? I quickly type.
She’s just as fast in her response. You want to go with me buy a bed frame?
Well, yeah. I’ve finished the team skate this morning and will be done with my workout soon. I’ve got nothing to do after and I want to see you. I reply.
Alright then. She texts me back within a minute. But I’m on-call though so I can be called to the hospital any time.
Doesn’t matter, I still want to see you. I text her back. When can I pick you up?
Give me half an hour.
Perfect.
—
I’ve bought three houses in my twenty-seven years of life; the one I currently live in, one in Toronto when I was still with the Leafs before I got traded to the Kings and one for my mum back in London. And yet not once have I ever gone on a furniture shopping.
Until today.
That was something I never in a million years would have dreamed to do, simply because I hated shopping with a burning passion. Hell, I didn’t even buy things for my own house because I paid the previous owner to leave everything behind. That kind of thing was honestly just something that I would have never taken the time for.
And yet, in shuffling through my memories, I really can’t remember having such a great time before. All I know is that I don’t want the day to end, and I also know that it has everything to do with the company.
I know we’ve only known each other for a few weeks, and technically we’ve only been on one date even though we saw each other quite often at the arena. But there was nothing odd when my hand would find its way to her thigh, or when she’d drape her arm across my shoulders so her fingers could play with my hair as we cruised along from one furniture shop to another. I love that we’re at ease with each other as if we’d known each other forever, not to mention that she’s also one of the easiest women I’ve had the pleasure of talking to in a long time.
Sadly though, it had to end when she was called to the hospital. Luckily, it was just in time after she chose a particular bed frame that she liked. It’s a classic canopy bed in live-edge oakwood with a brushed brass iron base, and I felt like a pig because even as we were still at the shop, I was already thinking about which ties from my collection would work best.
They offered same-day delivery since they had it in the storage, and since she was needed at the hospital, I offered to wait for the delivery at her home for her. She agreed, so she gave me her key after I dropped her at the hospital.
And here I am. Sitting on her bedroom floor trying to build this bloody nightmare because apparently they didn’t offer assembly service. I’ve been at it for an hour and a half now. Okay, no, more like an hour and ten minutes because I spent about twenty minutes fixing the sink in her en suite. I noticed the faucet was leaking, and I needed to step away from that bloody bed for a little anyway.
Now I don’t have another excuse, so I’m back on hammering one of the bazillion nails into the wood. I’m so focused on the task that I didn’t realise YN is home until I hear her chuckling as she walks into her bedroom and say, “you know, that is the kind of pounding that’s supposed to happen after you’re in the bed.”
I can’t help it. I fucking throw my head back and bust out laughing. “Sod off.”
“You don’t have to do it, that looks complicated. I’ll just hire someone to put it together tomorrow,” she says with a sweet smile. “Just get up and go sit on the couch. I just need to go to the bathroom real quick and then I’ll join you.”
“Yeah, that won’t do, Doc,” I say firmly. “I’ll still finish this bloody thing even if it kills me.”
“Stubborn,” she quips affectionately with a roll of her eyes as she heads towards her en suite.
“Smart-ass,” I reply with my eyes pinned to one of the million pieces of her bed frame, also with affection.
“Harry?” She calls out from her en suite.
“Yeah?” I answer, when I look up, she’s leaning against the doorframe and looking at me confused.
“Am I crazy or did you actually fix my sink?” She asks with an arched eyebrow. “Because I swear the faucet still leaks a little this morning.”
“Yeah, I did,” I say with a wave of my hand. “I needed to walk away from this for a minute and when I went to your en suite, I noticed it leaked. Not a big deal though, took me only about fifteen minutes.”
“Well, good to know that if you ever quit your day job, you have a career in plumbing,” she snickers. “But seriously, you didn’t have to do that, and you certainly don’t have to finish that.”
“It’s what any boyfriend would do, Doc,” I say with a nonchalant shrug.
“You’re not my boyfriend.”
“Yes I am,” I roll my eyes. “I took you on a date last night and I’m taking you out again on Wednesday. I’m not seeing anyone else, so that means we’re dating. And technically that makes me your boyfriend.”
“That’s ridiculous,” she sputters but I can see the amusement twinkling in her eyes. “Besides… I might be seeing someone else.”
“You’re not,” I say with relative certainty.
“How did you change just like that is beyond me,” she murmurs, the appreciation in her voice evident.
I let out a chuckle. “Just get your butt in there and go chill on the couch after. I’m pretty sure I’ll be done in about half an hour, then we can order something for dinner.”
“Yes sir,” she says with a mock salute, which makes me snort.
—
An hour later, her bed is finally built and as I walk into her kitchen I see her putting the plates on the table. It smells phenomenal here, and I’m surprised when I look at the table because how the hell did she manage to cook all that in an hour?
I take advantage of her back facing me by putting my hands at her hips and pressing my chest onto her back. I nuzzle my face into the crook of her neck and it takes everything in me not to kiss her there. The combination of her perfume and the faint smell of antiseptic is sexy to me. So I can’t help but hum and mumble, “smells delicious.”
“The chicken?” She murmurs.
“Among other things,” I reply softly.
She chuckles. “Come on, let’s dig in while it’s still hot.”
I take a seat in front of her before I select a drumstick from a plate of fried, spicy goodness and put it on my plate. There’s something about the fact that YN made it that makes me believe it will be the best chicken I’ve ever had. Today will no doubt go down as one of the best days ever, which I seem to think a lot when I’m around this woman.
As she dishes me some salad, I honestly can’t wait anymore and take a bite of the chicken. Her eyes snap to me when I let out a groan.
“Good?” She asks with a grin.
I can’t help but let out another groan of approval as I take another bite. “Damn, Colonel, you never told me you make a mean fried chicken.”
“I’m not just a pretty face,” she shrugs smugly.
“Or a fine ass,” I tease. “If you want to quit your day job you can totally open up a fast food chain. Your fried chicken puts KFC to shame.”
She laughs as she cuts some cornbread and puts it on my plate. “Now try this, I make a mean cornbread too.”
“Mmm,” I say in pleasure as I take the first bite.
“Okay, you need to stop with the sexy moaning,” she grumbles with a tiny smirk before she turns back to her dinner. “You’re so bad. I think you’re trying to take advantage of me.”
“Get your mind out of the gutter,” I laugh. “And besides, you’re just as bad.”
“True,” she replies with a sly smile. “I can be bad too.”
“But just how bad are we talking here?” I ask with a smirk.
“Not bad enough to sleep with you tonight,” she says before she takes a sip of water. After she swallows, she adds, “but totally bad enough I might get frisky with you.”
I give her a mock groan and look up to the ceiling. “A tease. I’ve saddled myself with a tease tonight.”
She laughs.
We talk about what she did at the hospital today as we eat, and her job in general, and it never fails to thrill me the things that she can do. She’s a jack of all trades when it comes to medicine, needing to be able to diagnose and stabilise, often in pressure-filled situations where time is of the essence. I can’t even imagine having the responsibility of someone’s life in my hands like that, and yet she seems to be able to leave it all behind. She talks openly and often with humour about her work, but she also admits that sometimes she can’t help but bear the burden of death too when her skills just don’t make a difference.
I admire her so fucking much. Never admired a woman before, but in fairness… I never looked too deeply at them.
I’m seeing YN through unfiltered eyes and I like everything that I’m seeing.
—
Something is squirming in my arms and it wakes me up.
I tighten my arm around it in response to the movement and pull it back slightly against my body.
Wait? What?
Sleep.
Couch.
We fell asleep on her couch while watching a film.
It all comes back in a rush. Our totally awesome conversation over equally awesome food she cooked that I couldn’t stop raving about all night. I had three pieces of chicken by the way. We talked more about our backgrounds, me growing up in Cheshire and her childhood in South Carolina. We had a few beers, and when she asked me if I wanted to stay a bit and watch a film or something, of course I said hell yes.
The fact that she asked made me smile, because it meant that she was having a good time too with me. So we ended up on her couch watching Jaws, and I liked that she didn’t even hesitate when I lay down on her couch, pressed my back against the cushions and patted the area in front of my hips. I’m pretty sure she can see the devilish gleam in my eyes when I said, “come on… let’s cuddle.”
“Wow… Harry Styles, big bad hockey player, shameless flirt, total panty dropper. Didn’t peg you as a cuddler.”
“I’m a big teddy bear, honey,” I said with a grin and open arms.
She fell asleep first, and I know I should’ve left but the slightest movement from me would definitely wake her up. I know she must be tired so I decided against it and closed my eyes instead.
“Morning,” she says in a husky, raspy, ‘I just woke up’ voice and it’s sexy as fuck.
“Morning,” I reply, my own voice is still rough with sleep. I wonder if she thinks that’s sexy too. “You slept good?”
“Mhmm,” she hums softly, but then immediately groans as she glances at the clock above the telly. “Ugh, I have to be in the hospital in about an hour.”
She then tries to extricate herself from my arms, but I pull her back in close and nuzzle her neck as I point out, “you work a lot.”
“Ha, tell me about it,” she says with a dry laugh. “I mean, don’t get me wrong, I absolutely love my job. It’s just I wish I could sleep for three days straight sometimes.”
“Do you even have a day off in the week?” I ask curiously.
“I do,” she answers with a nod. “It was actually my day off yesterday, but I was filling in for a colleague.”
I loosen my hold and let her sit up in front of me. “Go get in the shower, I’ll make us both a quick breakfast.”
“You can cook?”
“Well, if I give you food poisoning you’re heading to the hospital anyway,” I chuckle.
In the kitchen, I grab some eggs and a pack of English muffins from her fridge. A quick breakfast sandwich sounds good, and portable just in case she needs to eat on her way to the hospital. I crack open a couple of eggs, scramble them with a fork and add salt and pepper while my skillet heats up. I put a bit of olive oil in the pan before I toss the English muffins into her toaster to crisp, then set coffee to brew in her Keurig. I’m moving around her kitchen as if I was born here.
By the time I pour the eggs into the pan, she walks out of her bedroom in her scrubs. I smile and nod at the Keurig as I say, “coffee’s ready.”
“And damn, you’re hot in those scrubs,” I add with a grin, giving the eggs a last scramble before pulling them off the heat.
“You’re joking right?” She says, wrinkling her nose as she grabs the milk from the fridge and turns my way, letting the door swing shut on its own.
“I’m serious, Doc,” I say with a smirk. “I wouldn’t mind getting a thorough exam from you. Preferably in your new canopy bed though so I can tie you up after for a payback.”
“Get your mind out of the gutter. It’s eight in the morning,” she laughs and I snort in return.
She then pours some milk in her coffee, pulls the cup to her mouth, and blows across the steaming surface. Her eyes meet mine over the edge of the cup as she takes a tentative sip. “Are we still on for Wednesday?”
“Of course,” I say with a confident smile.
“What have you got planned?”
“Well, you’ll have to wait and see,” I tease her. “Just to warn you though, I may or may not gonna put my hands all over you.”
I don’t tell her that by putting my hands all over her, I mean on the ice to keep her from falling since I plan to take her ice-skating on the team’s practice rink. I don’t want to spoil the surprise, and besides, I’d be lying if I said I never thought of other ways too. The way she’s looking at me right now assures me that she does too, and well, that’s good.
We can compare notes on that later when we get there.
—
Blinking at me with a sleepy smile on her face, YN stands up from my couch. I walk up to her and she pushes me down into her seat, and then crawls onto my lap.
This is nice.
Our date on Wednesday was amazing, and as we walked inside, she turned to me and asked, “so this was your big plan to put your hands on me?”
I just laughed in response, and I did have to put my hands on her quite a lot in the end since she didn’t know how to ice-skate. Fuck if I’m complaining though.
Now we’re snuggled up on the couch at my house with full bellies. Last weekend she cooked me amazing food, so today, I wanted to impress her by cooking a roast dinner and introduced her to Yorkshire pudding. Sure, I was on the phone with my mum the entire time so she could give me directions, but I only almost burnt down my kitchen once so I’d call that a success.
I lean forward, which pushes her slightly to the edge of the couch, then I reach an arm over her and grab a packet of KitKat from the coffee table. I’m glad when I learnt that it is actually her favourite chocolate too, because KitKat is elite and it’s good to know we’re on the same page.
“Want another?” I ask her.
“No,” she groans. “I’m so full.”
I chuckle and awkwardly unwrap the chocolate. Awkward because I have to open it in front of her face since I have my arms around her, and once I got it opened, I hold the naked little chocolate bars in front of her mouth and tease, “want a bite?”
She shakes her head.
I wave it under her nose and I guess the smell of the chocolate changes her mind because then she says, “okay, a little bite.”
I break the bars and feed one of it to her, letting her take a bite and then chucks the rest in my mouth. We chew silently as we watch Marlin looking for Nemo, and I sigh in contentment when she tucks her face into my neck and drapes one arm across my chest.
It takes no more than ten minutes before I notice her breathing has slowed down and she’s fallen asleep. I rest my cheek on the top of her head and continue watching these fishies. I’m a little drowsy from all the food, but I resist the urge to fall under. For now, I just want to savour my existence at this moment because as Dory says to Marlin, “I look at you and I’m home”, I truly realise that’s how she makes me feel.
I’m sitting in my house, but for once, it doesn’t feel empty anymore. I just had a wonderful meal where we talked and joked and flirted, and now I have a gorgeous woman who I’m crazy about curled up on my lap.
There is absolutely no other place I’d rather be right now.
—
“Dude, you’re so fucking whipped,” Alex says as he punches me on the shoulder. I jerk slightly and reluctantly take my gaze off YN to look his way.
“What do you mean?” I ask as I take a swig of my beer and promptly look back at my girl. She’s standing just ten feet away, sipping on her own beer and talking animatedly with Sloane and Brynne. We’re at The Owner’s Box tonight having our first triple date, and I’m having a brilliant time. The only thing better would be if YN would quit chatting with the girls and get her sweet ass over here to sit next to me.
“Fucking hopeless,” Matt mutters and Alex snickers.
I blink and turn to look at them. “What? Why am I hopeless?”
“Because you can’t fucking take your eyes off of your girl for more than two seconds,” Alex jeers at me. Then he leans in towards me and murmurs with a mocking sneer, “pussy.”
“Bollocks that,” I say haughtily. “I can take my eyes off of her longer than that.”
“Good,” Matt says, handing me an empty beer bottle. “Go get us some more beer.”
“Assholes,” I say with good nature and head towards the bar. Stopping beside my girl, I kiss her on the temple. “You girls want anything else to drink?”
Sloane and Brynne shake their heads, smiling coyly at me as they watch my uncharacteristic display of affection. I’m immensely pleased when YN smiles at me and rests her hand on my chest. “I’m good, but thank you.”
“Be right back,” I tell the girls, and then I set out to prove Alex and Matt wrong.
I swivel my gaze back to Matt and Alex, and I give a sheepish grin when Matt mouths the word pussy at me. I flip him off and head towards the bar, intent on not looking back at my girl for at least the next few minutes it takes me to get the beers.
“Excuse me,” I hear and feel a tap on my shoulder. “Harry, can we get an autograph and a picture?”
As I turn around with a warm smile in my place, the word sure is out of my mouth before I even see who’s asking. I’m met by a vision of holy hotness as two women stand there with tight-as-hell t-shirts cut obscenely low and with plenty of silicone boobs pouring out.
Just a mere month ago, I would have whispered a prayer of thanks to the big man upstairs for sending these two my way, knowing well that I’d be banging the hell out of one of them before the night was finished. Instead, my stomach tightens and I glance past them to see YN still deep in conversation with Sloane and Brynne.
I bring my gaze back to the women… a brunette and a blonde, both looking at me with promise in their eyes.
“Do you mind taking your picture with us?” The blonde asks with a bat of her eyelashes.
I give her a quick smile and say, “sure, no problem.”
She steps up to me as she hands her phone to the brunette. I lift my arm to sling it companionably around her shoulders, but she uses that opportunity to press intimately into my side, bringing both arms around my waist and mashing her breasts against my ribs.
“Thanks so much,” the blonde says in a seductive voice. “Can we buy you a drink?”
“No, thanks,” I decline with a smile. “I’ve got some friends waiting for me.”
“An autograph, then?” She asks.
“Sure.”
The blonde digs in her handbag and pulls out a sharpie. She then hands it to me and says, “can you make mine out to Kourtney with a K?”
“You got it,” I say, eager to get this over with because it feels awkward to me to have this woman coming onto me with my girl standing just a few feet away.
“Just sign here,” she says and my jaw drops as she pulls the edge of her t-shirt down her chest, practically exposing her entire right breast to me.
“Uh, you got a piece of paper instead?” I ask her. “I don’t think my girlfriend would like that.”
“You bet your ass she won’t,” I hear my girl quips from behind me and I’m trying my best not to laugh. I like that she immediately snuggles into my side so those women now would have no doubt that I’m totally hers, “wanna go play some pool, baby? Loser buys the drinks.”
“You’re on,” I tell her, Kourtney with a K and her friend are long forgotten. “But just to warn you, I’m really good.”
“Honey, I was practically born on one of these tables with a beer in my hand,” she says smugly, “you’re going down.”
—
“Do you want to come in?” YN asks as she pulls out her keys from her handbag. We’ve just got back from The Owner’s Box and as usual, I walk her to the door.
My tone is low, soft, and barely audible when I say, “Doc, if I come inside tonight, I don’t think I can promise you to keep my hands to myself.”
“I don’t want you to promise me anything,” she replies firmly. “Whatever happens, happens. Now, let’s not dawdle on my porch and get inside. Want some more beers?”
“Whoa, don’t hand me ammunition,” I joke and she laughs. “I’ll take some water though.”
“There’s some water bottles in the fridge,” she says, pointing to the tiny kitchen that sits at the rear of the house, past the living room. “I’ll be right back.”
I get two bottles of water out of the fridge and head back into her living room. I take a seat on the couch and pull out my phone, scrolling mindlessly as I wait for my girl.
When she reappears, she’s wearing a pair of sleep shorts and a white t-shirt. Her hair is pulled into a ponytail and her makeup has been washed off. Her in a t-shirt and tiny shorts is a hundred times sexier than her in literally anything else—yes, including her scrubs—and there’s no stopping my downstairs head from waking up.
“Come here.”
Her eyebrows rise, but I don’t miss the clear interest in her eyes. “Come there?”
I tap my thigh, “right here.”
Her cheeks flush and a little puff of breath blows out of her. With absolutely no hesitation, she crawls onto my lap. Our gazes are locked tight and her eyes darken with intensity. When her chest comes level with mine, and her knees are pressed into the cushion just inches from my crotch, she asks me softly, “you going to finally kiss me?”
“I’m thinking about it,” I tease her as my hands come around her lower back, pressing her onto me.
Fuck, she feels good against me. Just her soft curves and warmth and I’m already starting to get hard before I even lay my mouth on hers.
She looks at me with sizzling eyes as we stare at each other, knowing that once we take this step, our relationship is going to another level.
Leaving one hand on her lower back, I slide the other up and over the shoulder, letting my palm glide up her neck so my fingers can tangle in her hair. She shivers when my thumb strokes her jaw before I cup my hand around the back of her head.
Her hands reach out and circle behind my neck. Then she whispers as she licks her lower lip, “so this is it?”
“This is it,” I tell her, and because I absolutely cannot wait one second longer, I put pressure on the back of her head to lock our mouths together. The first touch of her lips against mine causes pleasure to punch straight through my groin, and the world just absolutely melts away.
There’s nothing else but her.
Lips so fucking soft, tongue tentative and sweet. Her hair silky to the touch and her skin warm as my hand snakes up just under the edge of her t-shirt.
She tilts her head, opens her mouth more and kisses me deeper. I groan and pull her tighter to me. My hand fists tighter into her hair, hampered by the hair tie somewhat but not giving a fuck. Her hips start to rotate slightly, rubbing herself along the top of my thigh. My dick gets achingly hard as she starts to make tiny sounds of need in the back of her throat.
My other hand slips down her back and palms her backside, then I give a tentative squeeze. I think she likes that, because her hips shift forward and she starts to grind her crotch on my leg. I press against her ass, encouraging her to keep moving against me. She does it again and shudders in my arms, so I know it’s hitting her in the right spot.
Pulling on her hair, I break the kiss just enough so I can growl at her, “get yourself off, darling. Right here. On my leg.”
Her eyes fly open and they’re full of fire and sexual need as they stare back at me. Her lips curve up in a wicked smile of acquiescence and I pull her back down to my mouth for a hard kiss.
She rotates her hips in circles, then alternates flexing back and forth. I clench my thigh muscle, wanting to give her as hard a surface as possible to stimulate herself. I slip my hand down the back of her shorts, finding bare skin. I squeeze and push her down on me, helping her to move faster on my leg.
She pants and moans softly as she works herself up. I have to force myself not to push my hand down further between her legs. I’m bound and determined not to go there yet, and besides, this is hot as fuck and completely satisfying to me.
She moves faster and faster, making tiny cries of yearning into my mouth as we kiss. Then she punches her pelvis down hard onto my thigh, going still for a moment before her entire body starts quaking in silent orgasm. I hear nothing but a soft sigh of pleasure escape her lips and slither over my tongue.
Her body goes limp in my arms. She lifts her head, our lips parting, and looks down at me with glazed eyes. I press my lips to her briefly just once more, before I pull my hand out of the back of her shorts and roll her body off me. As I stand up and hover over her for a minute, I see her cheeks flushed rosy and her nipples pebbled hard, even through her t-shirt.
Placing a hand on the couch cushion, I lower myself to her and brush my lips across her forehead. “Get a good night’s sleep.”
“Wait- you’re leaving?” She asks, confusion coating her expression.
“Yes,” is all I say.
“But-”
“I’ll take a cold shower when I get home, no worries,” I assure her with a smile. “I’ll call you tomorrow.”
“I had a great time tonight, Harry,” she tells me, still looking like a wet noodle on the couch so I don’t think she’ll be getting up anytime soon.
“I did too,” I smile at her over my shoulder as I reach for her door.
It’s in this moment that I’m pretty sure I’m a goner for her.
—
I see the hottest, sexiest, most adorable doctor walking across the darkened parking lot towards me. Well, towards her car. Her head is tucked down and she looks tired. When she finally looks up and locks her eyes on me, the exhaustion melts away and I’m rewarded with a happy, welcoming smile from her.
“You really have to stop stalking me in parking lots,” she quips as she walks closer.
Then closer still until the tips of her shoes touch the tips of mine and she’s offering her mouth to me for a kiss. Obviously, I take it, because who wouldn’t? Her lips are perfect. She tastes like mint gum and smells faintly of antiseptic, and that right there is my favourite combo.
When she pulls back, she tucks a stray lock of hair behind her ear and asks, “seriously, what are you doing here?”
“I wanna take you somewhere,” I tell her as I grab her hand and take her towards my car that’s parked the next row over.
“Where?”
“Just get in the car, Doc.”
“You’re being vague,” she says with an arched eyebrow. “Is this where you kidnap me, take my kidney and sell it on eBay?”
“This is where I’ll find a way to occupy that beautiful mouth of yours if you keep asking questions and ruin the surprise,” I tell her and she gives a tinkling laugh.
“Promises, promises,” she singsongs and I just roll my eyes.
It only takes about fifteen minutes from Cedars-Sinai Hospital where she works to the closest beach where I plan to take her for an impromptu picnic date night. We only had to stop by to get some pizza because I already have a cooler with a six-pack of beers loaded in the back of my car. It’s a little too late for sunset, but the purplish black of twilight is lush.
“The beach, huh,” she deadpans. “You brought me out here to seduce me?”
“You naughty girl,” I clutch a hand to my chest and make an exaggerated gasp of disbelief. “That’s indecent exposure that is.”
She laughs as she opens the door of the car and hops out. I do the same, then I open the back door to pull out the pizza, blanket and the cooler with beers inside before letting her help by taking the blanket.
Somehow we have the beach to ourselves tonight, and she points out a nice spot for us to sit. I agree, so I let her spread out the blanket. After both of us have our butts firmly planted, side by side, facing the ocean, I take two beers out and hand one to her.
“Ooh, we’re going fancy tonight,” she says when she sees that I brought microbrews instead of cheap beer.
I chuckle as I open the pizza box and grab a slice of the cheesy goodness that will probably clog my artery, then we talk about our day as we eat. I tell her the funny things that happened at practice today, including a joke that Marcel told us in the locker room which most would probably find insulting, but I know my girl is used to locker room talk and would find it hilarious, and she tells me what she did in the hospital. Apparently, they were so busy today that her lunch break lasted less than ten minutes.
“You never cease to amaze me, Doc,” I tell her honestly. “It’s so cool what you do for a living. Impressive as hell.”
“Thanks, Harry,” she says softly. “That means a lot.”
It’s completely dark by the time we finish our pizza, but the view is still lush since the moon is bright, causing the water to look like it’s covered in floating, crushed diamonds.
We’re silent as we sip our beers, and I love that we can sit in comfortable silence as well as talk for hours. It’s crazy to think that it’s only been a few weeks that we’ve known each other yet I just feel such a strong connection with her. I love that we’re so in tune with each other that sometimes we say the same things and steal lines from one another. We have a similar sense of humour and we can even exchange an inside joke with just a glance.
I loosen my hold of her when she pulls away from my side embrace. Her head swivels to me, and I can see the moon glittering in her eyes. “I owe you an apology.”
“What?” I look at her in confusion.
“I misjudged you, Harry,” she says with a tender smile. “When you asked me out, I outright told you that you’re a player without even giving you a chance to explain yourself. I made an assumption, and that was wrong of me. I’m sorry.”
“And your assumption was right,” I tell her honestly with a light chuckle. “There is nothing to apologise for. It was common knowledge, I was a manwhore.”
She snorts. “Shut up, I’m serious.”
“Me too,” I squeeze her hand. “You didn’t misjudge me, Doc, you knew exactly the type of guy I used to be.”
She has a dreamy smile on her face when she says, “kiss me.”
“No, you come here and kiss me,” I say, and I’m pretty sure she can see my eyes sparkling with mischief.
She rolls her eyes and mutters “fine” under her breath as she plants her knees on the sides of my legs, but I don’t miss the light in her eyes which tells me that she likes the idea.
Closing her eyes, she dips her mouth to mine and now I’m wondering if the two years of jail time and a fine for indecent exposure is worth it if I were to take her right here right now.
—
We’re in New York for two away games in a row, tonight against the Rangers which we won 3-1, and tomorrow night against the Devils. I’m chuffed not only because we won and I played great, but I also had a great day today before the game with my girl. We didn’t do much since she wanted me to save my energy for the game tonight, but we did walk around our hotel and ended up napping on the couch in the room that I share with Marcel.
We all ride on the team bus that takes us from the hotel to the arena and back to the hotel after we finish the game. I wanted her to sit next to me, but for both trips, to the arena and back, she gave me a slight shake of her head and sat with the girls along with the rest of the staff in the front.
When I hop off the bus though, I see her waiting for me with a grin on her face. I kiss the fuck out of her, not caring about my teammates who whistle and yell, “get a room.”
“Which floor are you on again?” I ask her as we enter the lift. I want to walk her to her room just to spend a few minutes more with her.
Yeah, laugh all you want. I know I’m fucking whipped.
“Tenth,” she says, pulling her room key out of her handbag and hands it to me so I can scan it then tap the button on number ten.
“Wanna catch an early breakfast with me tomorrow?” I ask her as we approach her room that she shares with the team’s orthopaedic surgeon, Callie.
“Sure. What time?”
“We’re leaving for light skate practice at 9:30, so we should have plenty of time if we meet down there at 8:30.”
“Sounds good,” she nods as we reach her door.
There’s a handwritten note stuck in between the door and the jamb. She puts her key in the card slot, opens the door slightly, and snag the piece of paper. She opens it up and I look over her shoulder at the note as we read it silently together.
YN,
Marcel and Joslynn are hooking up and they’re in his room which means Harry has been kicked out. I’m going to sleep with Macy instead, so you and Harry can have this room. Unless you want Harry to go sleep with Macy?
No? Didn’t think so.
Have fun you two.
Callie
“This is Alex, Matt and Marcel’s doing,” I tell her with absolute certainty as she twists her neck to look at me. “I’ll just get an extra room for tonight.”
“Don’t be ridiculous,” she chuckles. “You can sleep here. We’ve spent the night together before.”
“Yeah, but that was different. We fell asleep on the couch, it wasn’t intentional,” I point out. “I don’t trust myself sleeping in the same bed with you, Doc. I’m not going to be able to help myself.”
“Well, good,” she says, smiling mischievously. “Cause I’m done wait-”
That’s as far as she gets before I push her through the door, backing her into the room. My mouth hits her only moments before her legs hit the edge of the bed and we both go tumbling onto it.
This is when we realise there’s a huge box of condoms with 144 packs inside it in the middle of the bed. On the top, there’s another note and I recognise Matt’s handwriting on it.
You’re welcome by the way
“I freaking love your teammates,” she says with a laugh.
I guess I owe those fuckers some beers.
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