#i’ve had so much resentment for this game for a while

[countesscontessa]

i fear i finally deleted genshin

[swappermanent]

e-Swap (Part 2)

Read Part 1 by @swapery here.

Liam's POV:

It’s wild to look back on it now. Four years ago, I was just a cocky kid scrolling through Tumblr, indulging in bodyswap roleplays. I mean, it’s hot, right? The idea of becoming someone else, walking in their skin, living their life—it’s escapism at its best.

To be honest, though? What really turned me on the most was the idea of someone else wanting to take over my life. And this guy—Kristoph—he wanted to step into my shoes, take over everything about me, and, I don’t know… maybe live my life better than I could. That hit me somewhere deep.

Sure, I found Kristoph hot. Objectively speaking, he was attractive. He had this kind of rugged, manly charm—average height, short curly brown hair, a beard that was thick but didn’t quite fill in everywhere. In gay terms, he’d be an “otter,” though not the polished, Instagram-perfect kind. Still, there was something about him, something raw and real.

But what I found so hot wasn’t necessarily his looks. It was the roleplay itself. The back-and-forth, the fantasy of letting someone else become me—it was intoxicating. So I flirted with him, told him how hot he was and how much I wanted to be him too. It egged him on, made him want me even more. And that was harmless, right? That’s what roleplaying is for. It’s not real life. Nobody actually thinks they’re going to wake up in someone else’s body.

And who knows? If it hadn’t been for what happened next, I probably would’ve gotten bored after a few days and moved on. I’ve done it before. I’m a bit… boy-obsessive. A bit of a heartbreaker, if I’m being honest. Cute guys came and went. I was always onto the next. And, let’s be real, it usually worked for me because, well, I was even cuter.

But that’s not what happened.

---

I was completely thrown when I woke up one morning in Kristoph’s body. Like, how the fuck was that even possible? I stared at myself—well, at him—in the mirror, touching the unfamiliar beard, the broader shoulders, the chest that didn’t feel like mine. It didn’t make any sense.

The first thing I did was try to contact myself. I called my phone—my phone, which was now across the world in Australia, in Kristoph’s hands. No answer. I sent messages on Tumblr, over and over, desperate to get a reply, but it was like shouting into the void.

Confusion quickly turned to anger. As the hours dragged on, I couldn’t shake the growing suspicion that he must’ve done this to us somehow. He must’ve found a way. What other explanation could there be?

How could he do this to me? To us? Without even asking? Without telling me it was real?

Well… okay. He had asked, technically. And I had consented, in a joking way. But I thought it was all pretend. A game. Roleplay. Something to get off on—not… this.

Now I was out of moves. Totally stuck. Kristoph lived in England—or I guess I did now—and I lived in Australia. Or, well, he did. Either way, it wasn’t like I could just hop on a plane and go confront him. What was I even supposed to say? “Hey, give me my body back”? Impossible.

---

As I began to accept the fact that I was stuck in Kristoph’s body, resentment crept in. I hated how I looked. I mean, I know I’d flirted with him online—played it up, told him how hot I thought he was—but I didn’t actually want to be him. Not for real.

Honestly, I couldn’t stand his beard. It was scruffy, patchy, and felt like a chore to maintain. And in person? He was so much shorter than I’d imagined. That one photo he’d sent me had totally oversold him. His muscles were fine, I guess, but not as impressive as I’d hoped. Definitely felt like I’d been catfished.

And the worst part? He had no hot romantic prospects at all. No dates, no flirty DMs, no wild social life. The guy was a total dud. Meanwhile, I was stuck in his body while he got the better end of the deal.

It didn’t take long for me to start seeing his posts online. There he was, shirtless and flaunting my old twinky body for the world to see. He was out everywhere—hanging with my friends, partying, meeting people I didn’t even recognize. Hot, sexy guys who I could only assume were his latest hookups or maybe even a boyfriend.

At first, it made me furious. How could he be so bold, living my life like that? But slowly—bit by bit—I found myself getting turned on by those posts. Watching him, in my body, owning the life I’d built, looking amazing in photos, thriving without me… it did something to me.

He still wouldn’t reply to my texts, but it’s not like he’d blocked me on social media either. If anything, it felt like he wanted me to see it all. To flaunt it. After all, he’d been into bodyswap fantasies too—he probably loved the idea of me watching him live my life better than I ever could.

And damn, was he doing a good job. I started thinking about how well he was pulling it off. He didn’t need my help or guidance; he didn’t need anything from me at all. He’d just stepped into my shoes and thrived.

I couldn’t help it after a while—it turned me on. Seeing him so confident, so free, so successful in my life was like watching my biggest fantasy unfold before my eyes. It was frustrating. It was infuriating.

And it was so fucking sexy.

---

Eventually, I turned my focus to fixing up my new body, accepting that this situation was probably permanent. There wasn’t much else I could do.

At first, I tried to go back to my old look—the twinky vibe I’d always rocked. It felt safe, familiar. I shaved the beard and acted a bit more submissive, like I used to. But the more I leaned into it, the more wrong it felt.

It was almost like this body was resisting me, like it was pushing me to be something else. Something… jockier. Stronger. It was weird, but I couldn’t ignore it.

So I regrew the beard, but this time I made it work—neat, full, and intentional. Then I started trying out sports, just to see what stuck. Tennis, running, biking… I gave them all a go.

But the one that really clicked for me was rugby. Something about it felt right, like this body was made for it.

I threw myself into it. It was a lot of hard work—hours in the gym, changing how I ate, how I moved, how I carried myself. But over time, I started to see real results. The body I was living in became exactly what Kristoph had pretended to be all those years ago: a true muscle hunk.

It wasn’t just the body, though. Something about the discipline, the structure, the focus it took to transform myself—it all changed me, too. I started posting on social media, sharing my progress. And damn, the attention rolled in. Now I’ve got more hot guys sliding into my DMs than I can keep track of.

But here’s the thing—I’ve learned a lot about how to treat people, about how to navigate relationships. I’m not the boy-obsessive heartbreaker I used to be. That’s made the best ones—the guys who actually matter—want me even more.

Honestly? I’ve never felt more in control, more confident, or more like me.

---

That brings me to today. I just got an email telling me to check the messages on this old Tumblr account, one I’d almost forgotten I even had. It was from Liam.

I was surprised to see his name pop up after all these years. Part of me wondered what he wanted, but honestly? I didn’t even read it. And I’m definitely not going to respond. Why would I?

So consider this post my way of signing off for good. I’ve learned my lesson—I know better than to mess around on those forums ever again.

Besides, look at me now. I’m hot as fuck. Why would I ever want to be anyone but me?

[stagefoureddiediaz]

The Helena diaz of it all has me fascinated. I’ve said for a long while that Eddie’s real issues are his mommy issues and this episode just cemented for me that we’re gonna explore that and deal with it.

Because it’s Helena who forced Eddie to grow up to fast - because her husband wasn’t around much - so she pushed Eddie into de facto parent and husband role ls - selfishly filling her needs and ignoring the damage it was doing to her son (it is a form of abuse in my book).

Eddie then had the audacity to fall in love with and marry Shannon and get her pregnant. It’s why Helena was always so off with Shannon - she was punishing her. She is also punishing Eddie for all of this and his refusal to return to El Paso only cemented further her bitterness and resentment.

Now she does have Ramon back she doesn’t need Eddie any longer to fill that role so she is still punishing him and part of that is tied into her glee over now getting to parent Christopher - something she has always been intent on doing the doppelgänger just gave her the opportunity- as well as allowing her to further punish her son and his love of Shannon.

Her barbed comments about building a pool were all about showing what she can provide Christopher - how she is parenting him better than Eddie - it’s part of her mind games - making Eddie feel like more of a failure as a parent to his son.

The reality of course is that the reverse is true - Helena’s parenting is all superficial, flash and showy - it isn’t the hard day to day parenting when things get tough and you have to be the bad guy. While Eddie has made mistakes, there is nothing superficial, flash, or showy about his parenting. It’s why bucks comments about Eddie being a great dad are so important.

Eddie feel like a failure right now and that he is entirely to blame for everything. But in reality, while he does bear a bit of the responsibility, the truth of the matter is that he needs to learn and deal with the fact that all of it actually stems from Helena and her abuse of her young son - Shannon never stood a chance just like Eddie never has.

[lily-fics-11]

I Can See You: Chapter 3 (Ellie Williams, TLOU)

I Can See You

Fic master post here

*Not beta read

Ellie Williams is a player, on and off the lacrosse field. You begin tutoring her so that she can get her grades up and stay on the team. You try to keep things professional, however, your affection is a great motivator. Ellie wouldn't be caught dead with you so you become her secret mission. 

Chapter 3

The more Ellie flirts with you, the more you see her with other girls, and you aren’t sure why. She gets jealous when other girls give you attention and starts to show that she wants you all to herself. 

Word count: 4.1k

CW: No use of y/n, profanities, a little bit of angst, sexual tension, *Ellie and reader are both 18*

You aren’t quite sure the cause, but there is a positive correlation between how much Ellie Williams flirts with you and how much she is getting with other girls.

You knew that Ellie has… engaged in many connections, even seen it here and there. But it just doesn’t make any sense. Maybe it’s just how much she is on your mind, but it feels like everywhere you look Ellie is with a different girl. Up against a locker, in the library before tutoring, and you even saw her worn out converse along with a pair of designer boots under a bathroom stall. 

The Monday after the game and private lacrosse lessons she is raring to go. She sits down with a mischievous look in her eyes. “We are finally on an even playing field, tutor girl.”

“Because I adequately played lacrosse in gym today?” You chuckle. 

“Yes, we are helping each other pass our classes,” she points out as if it’s completely obvious.

“True,” is the reply you give without thinking. You truly appreciate Ellie’s help. You don’t know that you could have done it without her. But in one class. You’ve put a lot of effort, more than you have with anyone else, into assisting her with four different classes. It is interesting stuff, but definitely not as fun as lacrosse is for her. It’s not a competition by any means, you signed up for this. There is just a bit of resentment. 

“Hey come on, I saved your GPA.” Ellie is playful, however there is a sliver of disappointment.

“It’s true,” you smile but she doesn’t look convinced. 

“I can’t deny that you are probably the only tutor in this school that can put up with all my bullshit. You are gay, and I’m me. But, I’m the only girl on the lacrosse team that you know.” Ellie seems pleased with herself, as if she just won an argument. 

“You aren’t the only girl on the lacrosse team that is gay, and I’m me.” You are impressed by how smooth that was. 

Ellie’s eyes widen in fear. Noted. “Please tell me it’s Robin.”

“She has a girlfriend,” you remind her and she looks frustrated. 

“Josie?” She tries with minimal hope.

“Ellie, she's a freshman!” You scoff at her. 

Ellie crosses her arms with narrow eyes. “So it must be Anderson.”

“I’ve only ever had a few conversations with her, but our parking spots are next to each other. I see the way she looks at me, and every once in a while she will give me a compliment. Abby’s never made a move though.”

“Well that’s lovely.” Ellie spats. 

“Are you jealous, Williams?” You tease, she is uncharacteristically peeved that another girl is giving you attention. 

Ellie forces a laugh. “Pft. No. Of course not. Anderson and I just don’t get along.”

“What did you do to her?” You ask, assuming Ellie’s air of superiority is frowned upon by her teammates. No matter how good she is, huge egos aren’t good in that kind of environment. 

Ellie slams her hands down and defends herself as if she is a criminal on trial. “I didn’t do anything! She started it!”

You let out a long breath in defeat. “Never mind, I don’t need to know.”

Ellie breaks eye contact and mumbles. “I wouldn’t want you to get involved with someone like that.”

Your lips curl into somewhat of a snarl. “So you care about my feelings? I thought I was just a girl to flirt with when no one is looking.”

Fear settles into her green eyes. “Of course not. How could I ignore our chemistry?” Ellie’s pun falters to near silence, she realized this is not the right time.

“Speaking of chemistry, I want to go over kinetic and potential energy first.” You are trying to forget that interaction happened. 

She nods. “I think I have a good understanding of energy.”

“That’s great Ellie. Why don't you tell me, in your own words, what kinetic and potential energy are. Thinking of it in your own words will help you remember it.”

“Well potential energy is what’s happening between us right now. The ‘will they, won’t they’. We make eye contact all the time because we are always looking at each other. You can’t pretend like you don’t want to kiss me. Looking at my lips when I talk, leaning in close to show me how to do things. Potential energy is everything we could be if we gave into our desire.

And kinetic energy? That’s what we felt when we kissed. Getting close to each other, loving it, craving it. We both knew it wasn’t necessary to play lacrosse like that, but we did it anyway. We long to have more of each other. Having you close felt like an atomic collision.”

Your face is burning hot and you struggle to find words when she’s giving you fuck me eyes. “I would like to remind you that this is supposed to be strictly business, although that is a pretty spot on analogy.”

Ellie is so cocky, so pleased with herself. It’s infuriatingly sexy. “When I take this test I’ll be thinking about you regardless, now I have a more appropriate reason to.”

“I'm like your academic muse.” You laugh nervously, wishing you hadn’t said that.  

Ellie’s eyes light up. “The most powerful optical 3D spectrograph for astrophysics known to man?”

She is such a fucking nerd and it makes you smile. Even temporarily forget all the bull shit. “It’s someone who inspires an artist.”

“Well I do like measuring the wavelength of the vibes you radiate.” She licks her lips waiting for your reaction. 

“That’s actually pretty good,” you chuckle. 

Ellie runs a hand through her hair.“The don’t call me the rizzler for nothing.”

You giggle at how ridiculous this girl secretly is. “I would say space nerd but whatever you have to tell yourself.”

“You can call me space nerd, as long as you don’t say it in front of anyone else. You should make it my contact name in your phone, in case someone sees your notifications.”

You roll your eyes and agree to it. You hate that sometimes she charms you to the point of forgetting about the reality of your situation. Gives you hope just to take it away.

“While I do that look at questions 5, 6, 7, and 8” you mumble. Ellie can tell you aren’t happy with her and doesn’t push her luck, doesn’t even ask any questions the rest of the period. 

However, she puts her hand on your arm to get your attention when you start to leave the library. “I have another home game tomorrow.”

You sigh. “That is going to take time away from studying.”

“Oh, I, uh, yeah,” she says, rubbing the back of her neck anxiously. 

You give her a half hearted smile. “Good luck though.”

Ellie senses that you are wary of her so she is blushing and hesitant. “The last game was the best season opener I’ve ever played. You should come to this one too, just in case you are my good luck charm.”

“I uh… I’m not sure if I can make it,” you tell her. Any hope she had falls off her face.

Seeing her like that tugs at your heart much more than you would like it to. “But I’ll do my best.” Her face lights back up and she hits you with a smolder that would give Flynn Rider a run for his money.

During lunch the next day you get some homework done so that you can go to Ellie’s game.

When you open your locker at the end of the day a piece of paper falls out. Unfolding the note it says “I hope you can fit me into your busy schedule -E”. Even if she hadn’t signed it you would have recognized her handwriting.

There had been a confusing math problem you got stuck on so you took a seat right before the team went onto the field. You sit alone, in the same spot as last time, so Ellie can easily see that you are there. For the sake of good luck, of course. 

Ellie looks up at you once she’s in position and smirks. She moves her hands on her stick to the weird way you had held it the other day, before quickly switching back. 

Abby Anderson looks good as usual, fighting for the ball when the whistle is blown, but Ellie’s words are in the back of your mind.

The team that they are playing today is much better than the last one. They keep control of the ball a lot more and have a faster goalie. After Ellie takes a few shots you notice that the goalie has a certain strategy. You don’t know lacrosse but you do know how to recognize a pattern. Ellie notices it too, and takes full advantage of it, scoring right away and repeating the move.

Ellie, and Abby, though not as much, lead the team to victory. Now that you are aware of it there are moments where you notice tension between them. 

You time your exit to cross paths with Ellie, so you can see her before you leave. Not that you would say anything to her with other people around. Unfortunately, her attention gets captured by one of the prettiest girls in school. The girl twirls her hair flirtatiously and puts her hand on Ellie’s arm. Most of the team is walking back to the locker while you walk to your car. You hear footsteps close to you and a somewhat familiar voice calls your name. 

Abby Anderson is walking next to you. 

“You plan on coming to every game this season?” She asks. 

“Oh, I don’t know. Probably just until the lacrosse unit is over in gym, I’ve been studying.”

“Well I look forward to seeing you in the stands. Maybe you will find a reason to keep coming.”

You give her a polite smile, unsure of what to do. 

“See ya around,” she says and then jogs to catch up to some of her teammates. 

Moments later you receive a text from Space Nerd🚀🤓: I’ll be keeping an eye on her

Ellie hard core flirts at your next tutoring session. It's weird, but so is she. 

One would think she hit the lottery when talking about how you were at her game. When she thanked you for coming she emphasized that it was her game. Assuring herself you were there for her and not Abby, though she didn’t actually say that. “I really think you are my good luck charm, looks like you are stuck coming to the rest of the games this season.”

“I wasn’t at the away game,” you remind her and she frowns. “Fine, every home game.”

“I really am responsible for the fate of the entire lacrosse team,” you chuckle. “I’ll try and get to all of your home games.”

Ellie’s jaw drops.“You will?”

“Yeah. You’ve been working hard. I’m proud of you. Besides, I'm not helping you get your grades up just to ruin it with your superstition.”

Working on her calculus is tedious, which only increases her impulse to create distractions.

“It’s getting hard to differentiate,” she tells you between problems.

“I know it’s hard, but you've already improved so much. I know you’ve got this.”

Ellie brushes a piece of hair off of her face. “Differentiate between whether or not you really want to keep things professional. You say you want to, but that look in your eyes tells me otherwise.”

You roll your eyes but Ellie is not easily deterred. “If we integrate ourselves, there is an array of possibilities. The limit goes to infinity.”

“The only reason I put up with your flirting is because it weirdly helps me know how much you’ve been paying attention.”

Ellie leans in closer and whispers “you can try and lie to me all you want, but you have a tell.”

You don’t back away from her, you match her energy, though the hair on the back of your neck stands up. “A tell? I don’t have a tell,” you scoff. “But if I did have one, what would it be?”

Ellie licks her lips and then looks at yours when she asks “what’s the fun in telling you?”

“Just remember that with great power comes great responsibility.”

Ellie looks like she’s about to jump out of her seat with that reference to her favorite superhero. “That makes me want to call you the Uncle Ben to my Spider Man, but that would make trying to kiss you really weird.”

As an athlete, Ellie does know how to get down to business. She had her chem test and got a B, but she has tests in all 3 of the other classes you are helping her with over the next week as well. She keeps herself in check, meaning minimal antics instead of as much as she can get away with.

You prepare her for all the essay topics she might get about The Great Gatsby, go over every single Spanish vocab word and conjugation as many times as possible, and practice the types of integrals she has the most trouble with. 

Ellie reports back that she feels like she did well. You check in with her Sunday night, she tells you she did good and then doesn’t answer when you ask about specifics. 

Humble is not a word to describe Ellie Williams, so you find it a little odd. That is until you get an email from the guidance counselor, informing you that Ellie has met the requirements she needed to. You have been assigned another student, a softball player that has been slacking this season. 

You immediately text Ellie: Why didn’t you just tell me you didn’t need tutoring anymore?

She responds immediately: I was hoping you wouldn’t find out and you would keep tutoring me

You shake your head in frustration and text her: Call me!

Seconds later your phone is ringing with a FaceTime call. 

Ellie is holding her phone at a weird angle, like a dad that doesn’t know how to use a phone properly. She looks guilty as hell.

“Hey tutor girl.” Her smile is forced, and her freckles are accompanied by a bright flush.

“Did you really think they weren’t going to tell me?” You ask her this with a small smile. Seeing her all frazzled is pretty adorable. Ellie is undoubtedly hot, but seeing her be cute melts your heart. 

Ellie bites her lip for a moment while she thinks.“I guess I didn’t really think that through. But would you be able to keep tutoring me?”

“Ellie you are very smart, all you needed to do was learn how to study and you’ve done that. Besides, they already gave me someone else to tutor.” Losing your time with Ellie was always inevitable. She no longer has a reason to see you, you aren't sure where all this is coming from.

Ellie’s nose scrunches and her eyebrows furrow. “I can’t believe that you would- that they would- who even is it?”

“Elise Knolls,” you tell her calmly. 

“She’s gay!” Ellie yells like she had said this girl is a murderer. 

“Uh yeah, why does that matter?” Ellie has never truly wanted you, she wanted to kiss her tutor. But maybe that’s not the case? 

A fire burns in her bright eyes. “Because- because you might start going out with- out to her softball games instead of my lacrosse games!” Is she really, you use this word with great haste, jealous?

You do your best to contain yourself. You want to laugh more than anything else, and tell her I told you so. “Ellie I will still try and come to as many of your games as I can.”

She looks like a little kid on Christmas. “For real?”

A smile that you don’t mind showing spreads across your face. “Yes. I promise.”

Ellie’s excitement starts to slide away after briefly living in the moment. “I still won’t actually see you. For tutoring. I think I still need it. I don’t want to lose… my momentum.”

“You have practice or a game after school everyday,” you remind her. 

“Well my team has the first practice some days, but the guys team does on the other days” she explains, much more serious than she usually is. 

You sigh. “I have my own work to get done.”

Ellie looks desperate at this point. “Well can we work together? I’ll only ask questions when I need to.” She is all but begging.

The idea is good, but only in theory. “You are prone to creating distractions.”

“I will tone it down.” Ellie promises. “I don’t want to lose this opportunity to spend time with you. So that you can help me with school, of course.”

This is something you really want to make work. You don’t want to lose Ellie either. She is the best pain in the ass you’ve ever had. “We can try it. If I can get as much work done as I need to, we will continue. If you can’t keep your dinosaur rants and space explanations to a minimum we won’t.”

Ellie is giddy to the point where she might giggle. “Tutor girl, you are the best, thank you. You won’t regret this.”

“If I do, we won't keep doing it,” you emphasize. 

“I promise. Thank you.” Her expression changes though. “I do have to ask, about this Elise girl, how do you feel about… tutoring her?” Ellie’s low voice and serious tone make your heart race. It’s hot as hell.

“I know her, don’t really know anything about her grades though. We’ve never really been in any classes together.” You explain. 

“Then how do you know her?” She continues to interrogate.

“We frequent some of the same social events.”

“Do you mean parties?” You nod. “You go to parties?” She is in genuine shock.

You roll your eyes but smile through it. “Yeah, there are parties besides the ones thrown by the 1%.”

Ellie switches back into detective mode. “So do you guys like, hang out at these parties?” You give her another nod. 

“When I say hang out, are you picking up what I’m putting down?” Her eyes are wide with anticipation.

Ellie is going to keep pushing until she gets the information she wants. She's nothing if not persistent. “We’ve hooked up…” her face contorts as if she ate something sour. You mumble “quite a few times.”

“Oh.” If her eyes weren’t already so green they would be now. The jealousy has taken over.

Not the best note to end this call on, but you really need to review topics for a tutoring session tomorrow. “How about you text me what your schedule looks like this week and we figure things out from there.”

“I can do that.”

“Bye Space Nerd.”

“Bye tutor girl.”

Monday morning when you get to your locker there is a rose tucked into one of the holes. Weird. Upon opening it you find a note that says ‘thank you again -E.”

Walking to your homeroom you overhear the girl that had been flirting with Ellie after her game the other day talking to one of her friends. 

“Ellie hardly even paid any attention to me on Saturday. I wanted to take her upstairs but she wasn’t interested. I didn’t see her go upstairs with any girls, I don’t know what her deal is.”

After school you meet Ellie in the library. She is there first, in the back corner, even though it is empty. 

There is something different about her today, but you can’t identify it immediately. Her hair is the same, she is wearing jeans, a flannel, and converse like she normally does. Looking past her physical appearance, there has been a change in her disposition. 

Ellie is confident as always, but lacks her typical cockiness. She already has her things ready to get started on her work, and is waiting for you with a smile. And not just a polite ‘thank you for doing this for me’ smile. More so an ‘enchanted by your presence’ smile. This may lead to cardiac arrest. 

Ellie takes a moment to look into your eyes, searching for something unbeknownst to you. “Tutor girl, I’m glad you could make it.”

“I told you I would be here,” you remind her teasingly. 

She picks up a pencil and starts fidgeting with it. “Yeah, but I’m still not sure why you agreed to this. I’m a headache, why would you deal with me more than you have to?”

“Well you are a pain in the ass,” a gorgeous one, you think to yourself. “But you’ve grown on me. And I didn’t want to stop seeing you… continue to do.”

“I will help you with your work if you ever need it. Not sure how, but I will do my best.” This offer makes you believe she is eager to please you.  This brings as much shock as it does a growing desire in the pit of your stomach. There are a lot of ways she could please you…

“Thank you space nerd, that’s very sweet.”

Ellie looks at you with starry eyes and as much as you want to live in that moment you know that you shouldn’t. “I have a lot of work to do, we should get started.” You were her tutor, you helped her do what she loves the most, playing lacrosse. This mild infatuation isn’t coming from anywhere but her appreciation for you. It’ll pass. You can’t forget that.

Ellie starts reading Lord of the Flies while you highlight and make notes in a textbook. 

You had started about 90 degrees, or pi/2 radians, away from each other around the circular table. However, when she asks her first question you notice that she is closer to you. You assume that is because it would be easier for you to see the quote she is referring to.

That is until you switch from reading to doing physics, and she is even closer than before. You side eye her and she just smiles innocently. 

It’s not long until her arm is brushing up against yours and she moves her knee so that it is leaning into your leg. 

You roll your eyes. “Can I help you?”

“No thank you,” she says, not even looking up from her book.

“Then what are you doing?”

“Just getting cozy.”

You put your pencil down. “I wouldn’t call this professional.”

Ellie’s naive facade is replaced by a smirk. “You said no distractions, you didn’t say anything about keeping it professional.”

“As long as you can keep getting your work done,” you warn her and she nods.

“One question though.” She leans over, chest pressing against your arm, to point to an equation on your paper.

“Did you write that E there for Ellie?” She looks at you with great suspense.

“This is distracting,” you chastise her.

“Fine. What does E stand for?” Ellie asks this with what seems to be genuine curiosity.

You are happy to explain since she isn’t doing it to push your buttons. “Well it’s the Greek letter epsilon, not E. Denotes permittivity.”

Ellie continues to look over everything on your paper. “What is permittivity?”

“The resistance to electric field formation.”

That earns a laugh. “Fun.”

“Extremely pleasurable.” At the word pleasurable her eyes wander over you, hungrily taking in every inch. She sees you looking back at her the same way and licks her lips before agreeing not to distract you anymore.

You get back to work but she doesn’t, you can see her watching you out of the corner of your eye. You choose to ignore this, you are no longer responsible for micromanaging her. You finish up your physics and ask Ellie when she needs to leave. She's got about 15 minutes.

“Well I don’t want to get started on anything new right now. Do you have any questions before we finish up?” You ask this expecting her to say no and be done. She hasn’t read anything since you last checked in.

“Yes,” she declares with a devilish smile. She leans in, and you feel her warm breath on your ear when she whispers “what would you do if I went to touch you now?”

Tags: @bready101, @st4r-b3rries, @tlou-bombshell, @stvrs13, @dinanellie, @everegretseverything, @mikellie, @lamolaine, @0pheli4, @soupycloud, @radioheadfan699, @callmelola111, @hysteriawillnotsuccumb, @normalthing111 

[meazalykov]

Good Game, Sal

Salma Paralluelo x Barca!Reader

summary: are they enemies, or lovers?

Salma Paralluelo and I, both rising stars of Barcelona's Femeni team, shared more than just a common jersey; we shared a rivalry that burned hotter than the Catalan sun on a July afternoon.

Salma, with her quick footwork and innate goal-scoring abilities, was a product of La Masia, Barcelona's renowned youth academy. Her journey to the top seemed paved with gold, crowned by her recent triumph in the World Cup with the Spanish national team. Me, on the other hand, hailed from a humbled path, I considered my talent raw and untamed, molded through sheer determination and grit.

Growing up in the United States, I’ve played through many unknown summer leagues, clubs mainly filled with boys, school teams, and futsal in the winter months before I put the pen on paper with Washington Spirit at the age of 15. 

After four great years with building my talent, creating new friendships, and enjoying my life in the United States Capital, my contract was expiring. 

Washington Spirit offered me a renewal, but Barcelona contacted my agent with a proposal that sent my jaw dropping to the floor. The Catalan Club was my dream club while growing up. I’ve admired Alexia Putellas, Ronaldinho, Messi, and Xavi for years. So I followed my heart and denied another four years in Washington DC, so I can accomplish my dream. 

However, I had to put in hard work when I arrived in Barcelona. This challenge was needed, since the challenge to score on the pitch fuels my passion. However, I didn’t expect a rivalry to happen WITHIN the club rather than the opponents I’ve played against.

First, it was a constant competition for playing time. Overtime, I’ve thought that I harbored a deep-seated resentment towards Salma, envying her success, her effortless grace on the pitch. 

Against Madrid CFF, my debut game in September, I scored a brace that drove the club to win 4-0. Afterwards, I’ve held a record for scoring at least once in a game I’ve had minutes in. 

However, Salma seemed to have the upper hand when it came to having a start. I had to swallow my pride every time I had to be her 67th minute substitute. She always hugged me when she would come off, but my body would tense up everytime. Nobody noticed the small resentment for her, except for Salma herself. She started to piece small things together. 

“You did great today Niña, I'm impressed by your dribbling and speed in training.” Alexia, or my captain Ale, patted me on the back as we headed into the locker rooms after training. A few days ago, we won the Champions League semi-final against Chelsea. Thanks to a goal from Aitana, Fridolina, and I. 

Alexia was a huge advocate for me which made my heart melt. I’ve admired her as a fan but now I am her teammate, so I express my gratitude to her whenever its possible. 

“Thank you. I learn from the best people surrounding me.” I smirked and Alexia breathed out a chuckle. Something the girls noticed when I came to the club is how much I’ll compliment or support people on their skills. Aitana said that I've been a light in the dressing room when it comes to boosting morale. This is a reason why people don’t notice a small resentment I held for a-certain-someone on the team. 

“Well, Don’t get your hopes up when I say this— but Jona might consider you as a starter for the final— Don’t take that as a guarantee, but your speed will be needed against Lyon's defense” Alexia’s Spanish accent poked through as she held onto my shoulder. The Spanish are very affectionate. 

“I won’t get my hopes up— I do take that as a compliment though.” I said. 

“Good. We’ve been looking between you and Salma as the third forward in the finale. Since Frido and Caro will have the left and right wing.” Alexia spoke. I felt my stomach turn at her name. Aware that I will have to work harder in training to start in the final, I know Salma will do the same thing. 

A week later, my “animosity” towards Salma only intensified when I discovered that Salma will start in the final over me as a striker. Back at my apartment, I’ve cried myself to sleep. I’ve worked hard in training. My tears represented the fear that nobody is seeing the skills and potential I have. 

“Hey Y/n” As I walked out the locker room after training one morning, I turned around and saw Salma approaching me. My eyes widened and I turned to walk away in a hurry. 

“Hi.” I said quickly as Salma continued to walk beside me. What did she want? 

“We should go watch The Challengers movie with Esmee on our day off Sunday. I know you both used to play tennis and such, it looks like a great movie.” Salma hesitantly spoke. My eyebrows knitted together at what she said. I did play tennis for a few years in middle school back in America, but as a hobby not a sport. Esmee told me that she could’ve gone professional at tennis in the Netherlands but chose football instead. The Dutch girl is the only person that knew about my old tennis hobby, so she had to have told Salma about it. 

“Um–” I say as we both pushed the glass doors outside into the parking lot. As much as I wanted to say no, express to Salma how much I've resented her, and drive home.. I couldn’t. I felt my heart ache as I looked at the girl who had a shy smile. Wait– huh? Why am I doing that?

“I–I can go with you guys–Just have Esmee text me the details when you guys decide the time.” I said before walking away to my black SUV, my emotions not handling what Salma might’ve said or reacted to my acceptance. 

The last few days before Sunday came along. I’ve talked to my best friend, Isla, about everything. She doesn’t live in Spain, since she plays football for Gotham FC, but she had a clear understanding about the community.

After my rant which lasted an hour, Isla said something which made my heart stop for a quick second. 

“Are you sure that you hate Salma?” Isla asked over the facetime call. 

“Well-No! I don’t hate anybody, I just hate how big of an advantage she has over me.” 

“Oh– because it sounds like you’re in love with her–” 

“Excuse me?” 

“Well the way you’ve talked about Salma reminds me of how I started off with Esther here at Gotham. However it was the other way around. She was in love with me but refused to accept it– so she found reasons to try and hate me instead before she was forced to confront the truth.” 

That part of the conversation replayed in my mind for the last few days. Throughout training, throughout the game against Granada that won us the league, it replayed non-stop. It didn’t distract me but I couldn’t look at Salma without questioning if I am in love with her. A subtle shift began to take place within my heart, even if I didn’t want it to happen.

Salma started noticing the small things too. After the Granada game which granted us Liga F champions, she noticed when I wrapped my arm around her and Esmee as we jumped around in the red-colored locker rooms. I’ve noticed that as I started to slowly accept my possible feelings for her, my “resentment” faded away with it. 

“Good game, Sal.” I whispered in her ear as everyone posed for a group picture in our “Liga F Champions” shirts. She looked at me with widened eyes before smiling softly.

I found herself drawn to the challenge Salma posed as the Champions League final was coming up. Salma always craved the intensity of their encounters, the adrenaline rush of chasing victory side by side with her rival, just like I did.

By Sunday, the day where Salma Esmee and I will go to the movie theaters, I've accepted it—I finally realized the truth that had been staring me in the face all along. Due to past heartbreak, I didn’t want to fall in love again but here I am in Spain. As I stood in the mirror, looking at the nice casual outfit I've put on (imagine what outfit you want, reader <3) I knew with absolute certainty that what I’ve felt went beyond rivalry with Salma, beyond competition.

It was love.

In that moment of clarity, my resentment melted away. I knew that I couldn't keep denying her feelings any longer, but a fear started to grow inside of my heart. What if it's too late? 

Salma did notice my resentment towards her. There were times where I’ve blown her off because of that. I couldn’t blame her if she started to hate me for what I've done to her. 

Four hours later, The Challengers movie ended. I’ve sat in-between Esmee (on my left) and Salma (on my right) in the movie theater. The movie was good but I had the urge to look at Salma at times. Once, I looked down at her hand that wasn’t too far from mine. As much as I wanted to reach to hold her soft hands, I couldn’t do it. What if she pulled away? What if things would’ve been awkward between us? I didn’t risk it. 

When we hugged Esmee as she left the theater, it was Salma and I in the parking lot. I could’ve said bye and left too, but Salma wanted to say something to me. Esmee and her gave each other an unknowing glance, so I believe Esmee might know what Salma is feeling. 

“Y/n, Why do you hate me?” Salma frowned. My heart broke as I bit my lip in nervousness.

“I don’t.” I said I looked at her with a sad smile. 

“Yes you do. Every time I wanted to talk to you at practice, you always ran away to talk to someone else. I’ve noticed that you’re the only person that never congratulated me separately after a goal. I’ve seen the way you’ve brightened up people’s days with your compliments, love, and hugs. Why can I not have that Y/n? Did I do something to you for you to hate me? Just tell me because I don’t want to start off next season knowing that you might hate me for something I might’ve done.” Salma took my left hand and held it with both of her soft, moisturized hands as she looked me in the eyes.

A tear fell out of my left eye as I felt guilty. I’ve fucked up. I’ve hurt Salma and she doesn’t know why— I need to tell her how I feel. 

“Salma, I don’t hate you at all. I am so sorry for what I've done to you. All you did—really—was be great on the pitch. When I came to Spain, I noticed how loved you were by everyone. You had the minutes, skills, awards, and recognition that I could dream of having. However— I’ve admired you more than everyone else at the same time. I know that's hard to accept due to what I've done to you, but I felt like you were too good for me. I look at you more than everyone else. I wanted to hug you and congratulate your success with you but the vulnerability scared me. I’ve been hurt before so in order to protect my feelings, I’ve covered it up with resentment— Salma, I am in love with you.” By the time I told her that I love her, tears poured down my cheeks and Salma held me in a hug, tightly, as she cried too. 

“Y/n, I am in love with you too. That's why it hurt me when I believed that you might’ve hated me.” Salma said through her tears.

“I am so sorry–seriously. I don't hate you. I love you. I will never hurt you like that again, I swear.”  I said. 

After that night, we started over and became lovers. Our undeniable bond blossomed between us. The team adored our relationship and were happy for us. I did keep my promise, I never hurt her again. I’ve found love in giving my love to her without the fear of getting hurt. After the debut game in the 24/25 season, we walked off the pitch hand in hand, my heart fluttered as I know this is the beginning of our longtime relationship. 

<3

[dreamwritersworld]

The chore. (Sully family x reader)

hey! this is my first story so bear with me this is gonna be a slightly sad one 💕 also this does have scenes from shows i definitely was inspired by and used some of the situation to go based off of the story :)

Being the overlooked sibling was a difficult role to hold. Only time I was ever acknowledged was when I was constantly being yelled at and told what to do even if it wasn’t my fault. I am the twin of lo’ak but with his crazy antics it just makes it even harder to get the approval of my father.

I had to teach myself everything. Observing others actions and having to figure it out. Even with the sly compliments I’ve received, my parents just brushed it off. As you can imagine it only got worse when I got older but when Tuk came it was like a light was brought to me. I was always distant with my siblings no matter how hard I tried to just have a relationship with them they were so tight I couldn’t find any space for me to be included. Dad constantly held me at a higher role saying “y/n you need to be strong! what don’t you get? stop being so reckless and bringing your siblings into things.” Majority of the time I was yelled at for things that weren’t my fault, I just was caught in at the wrong time or blamed for not watching them. It all didn’t seem fair. It was not fair.

I notice how my parents treated me differently from my sisters and to say it didn’t hurt is a complete lie. It hurts all the time, constantly being put on the back burner hurts. Even Lo’ak and Neteyam got off easier than me. I don’t know why my father holds so much resentment to me or why he puts me to the side like I’m a stray but it wasn’t only him I’m silently mad at, it’s my mom too. Why? How could she sit there and witness it , not see it. I can’t even be fully upset I just must sit there and smile and just try better or as dad says “you need to start using your brain and do better, for THIS family!” I just wish I got the dad my sisters got. I wanted the dad who tended to me and my feelings instead of the dad who told me to suck it up saying it wasn’t ok to cry or show emotions.

Now thinking of it, the only time we talk or well when they talk to me is when they order me around or when dad yells at me. It’s become a daily thing that I take care of Tuk every since she was a baby it became my job. Not that I wouldn’t want to take care of my beautiful sunshine , it’s just keeps me tired sometimes but she’s the only one that truly knows me.

Today I actually have to go look over the war and observe from a far with my brothers but that’s in a couple of hours.

I decided to take a break from practicing and teaching Tuk new things for a quick game of hide n seek. This will only improve her quickness and alertness so it’ll help her. Only it’s been a while since I last saw her run in the forest so I whistled out for her, patiently waiting for her whistle back, something I taught her in order to hear that she’s ok! When I did hear a whistle I looked down and quietly went into the bush to catch her. “THE TICKLE MONSTER IS HERE!” Hearing her sweet giggle kept me strong. I need to keep her safe and it was getting harder to be around when she ran off with our other siblings getting into trouble. It was coming near the time to head with the war party so I hopped on my Ikran and flew to where I had to meet my brothers. We WERE spotting until Lo’ak decided to stupidly go down. Neteyam and I quickly went down for him with zero hesitation and tried to get him to get out. “Lo’ak cmon this isn’t funny I’m not kidding. we have to go. you don’t know what your doin-“ I said trying to stop my brother from doing anything more reckless, that was until we got hit.

All I could hear was ringing , trying to gasp for more air feeling blood rush down my body. I slowly opened my eyes seeing my dad take the boys and hearing Lo’ak “Dad! Dad y/n was with us! We have to get y/n!” He’s leaving. He’s leaving me. Knowing I’m down here. “She shouldn’t have been down there either. She’ll find a way home. We have to go.” In that entire moment my heart shatters. I wanted to just give up right then and there, everything that I’ve feared being true, that he didn’t give a single shit about me. I looked down to my side having a slight gash and my arm having a even larger gash. As I was escaping I can feel everything burn and my entire body fighting to even stay awake until I wasn’t. I decided to just take a break before I’d fall off my Ikran from exhaustion. Once I woke up it was already eclipse so I made my way to the healing tent and decided to just stitch myself up in order to avoid the trouble of pulling anyone out or getting more in trouble.

I never did this before. I mean I have observed and learned from a far since no one wants to teach me but stitching is new. Yelping in pain every once and awhile the needle pierced through my skin but once I was done I was only fueled by anger. So much pent up anger I didn’t even know I let go on for that long, just sitting in the silence trying to calm myself down before having to be yelled at once again for something I tried to fix not even that just that but, for not coming home before eclipse even when my own father left me in pain when I needed him. Actually considering the thought of leaving the forest and finally finding a place I can call home. I had already planned an emergency bag…this isn’t the first time I have had these thoughts, but this might actually be my last straw. Only reason why I didn’t leave was because of my baby sister. My thoughts were soon interrupted.

“Y/n you were ordered to SPOT. LOOK AT THE MESS YOU MADE-“ For a moment, for a slight moment. I actually was gonna take all the hits he sent my way but my anger, frustration towards him. towards his voice. towards his stupid orders. towards everything about him. “I’m. Still. Not. Home. I was injured and YOU left me out there to die.” silence was the only thing there as I stared at my parents resisting ever urge to cry tears of anger something I got used to as a kid being told crying was a weakness and it wasn’t ok if I cried, it wasn’t normal. “I-I didn’t know what else to do. I didn’t see you, I-I-“ now hearing the ashamed feeling in my dad’s voice, but I didn’t feel bad because I KNOW he saw me bloody lying on the floor. I KNOW he had enough time. I KNOW he didn’t hesitate to leave me. And I KNOW he’s gonna deny it.

“HOW?! I heard it all dad. I heard Lo’ak calling for you to come back for me. I saw you look at me and you were completely fine in leaving me. You’re a liar and a shitty fucking dad….why tf would you leave me?…You are fucking dead to me.” Hearing my mom cut in “y/n no you don’t mean that!” I looked at her smiled and looked back at my dad “I mean every.fucking.word. You’re dead to me “Dad”. You know I have a lot of regrets…in my life but I gotta tell you Dad being your daughter is at the top of my list.” I took a moment to finally see his emotions…he was crying… to this I scoffed and laughed. “oh now you want to cry? yea you’re just draining. You just like going around to suck the spirit out of everyone.”

I try to stop myself , I try to hold back but the more I do the more bottled up feelings come out “no no y/n i see y-“ anger erupts even more “no don’t say that! Stop saying that! You drained me. And it fucking hurts dad. You. Don’t. Love. Me. You left me. When I needed you! And a real father someone who cares would never throw me to the side the way you did…you always had your favorites. You always blamed ME. It didn’t matter if I was there or not I was the one to blame. You don’t even know anything about me. You don’t care about me. You do not love me.” Tears fall. tears that I didn’t even know I had. So I laugh at them. I witness the regret and guilt rush to my parents head realizing how they truly forgot they even had y/n as a daughter instead of just a baby sitter or someone who just followed their orders. This was the moment they realized something inside their daughter was broken and it can never be fixed.

“I gave you all. Every part of me, I have given to you. Hoping that one day you’d open your arms to me and until that moment I held a patient smile. I know now that, the idea I dreamed of will never happen. Even when I would TRY talking to you, all your ever did was push me away. So while I did everything you asked of me and more. You considered me the chore, the job you didn’t want to do. Don’t worry now, I do not want your excuses because up until you left me to die, you WERE my everything.”

I walked out but not without noticing my siblings on the side I could see the realization hit their faces, realizing that they too forgot they had a sister. The sister that took care of Tuk, handled everything she was dealt with, and more importantly the sibling they also pushed away, the sister they didn’t even want to hear stories about when Tuk was talking. Then I see Tuk my sunshine, I smile taking in her baby face one last time.

Then I rush to “home” to get my bag that I packed, I’ve been waiting for this very moment, just waited for the bandaid to rip. I hoped that a moment like this would never occur, something in my heart broke knowing that it didn’t matter anymore it was bound to happen. I called for my Ikran, crying my eyes out realizing this was really it, and that I would have to tear away from all I knew in order to finally grow and be happy. That was until I felt a tug on my leg stopping me from getting on my Ikran. Tuk. “please y/n don’t leave. Don’t leave me. You have taught me everything please y/n don’t leave home. Or just take me with you.” My heart breaks all over again looking at the child that I practically raised even if she always returned to my parents arms at night or held by them in the evening. She’s the only thing that held me here, my baby sister, my sunshine. “Tuk I see you sister but, I can’t take you with me, I can’t let you leave your home.” I can only hear her heart shatter even more. “No sister. you will take me. your all I need right now. It’s always been us please. I won’t do anything without you.” I look back and forth contemplated for a little and then…agreed. I held her close and wrapped a blanket around her, preparing for the ride.

Again this is my first story so please be understanding! :) hope you enjoyed it 💕

[blasphemousclaw]

For send a character ask: Radahn!

ahh, Radahn… forever an enigma

• favorite thing about them

who he is as a person — his family background, his beliefs, and who he ultimately chooses to be — is so endlessly interesting to me. being a child of both the Erdtree and the Moon, growing up idolizing the Erdtree’s champions like his father and Godfrey, but being a talented sorcerer in his own right like his mother, was he conflicted when Radagon betrayed Rennala? did he ever come to resent his father, both for breaking his mother’s heart and for replacing his greatest idol, Godfrey? there’s something so significant to me about Radagon despising his red hair, and Radahn embracing that same hair he inherited as the mark of a champion. did this affect his relationship with Radagon? on the other hand, did he know that challenging the stars was also halting his Carian family’s fate? did he care? there’s such a fascinating back-and-forth between Radahn and both sides of his family!

• least favorite thing about them

his writing in the dlc… will never get over how botched it feels. and I’m not talking about the actual plot points, I’m talking about how those plot points were revealed to us in the story! the reason why everyone felt like him showing up was an asspull plot twist was because there’s no hint whatsoever in the base game that Miquella and Radahn ever had a relationship at all. as a result, I think the writers had to speedrun a Radahn-Miquella reveal plotline with Freyja and Ansbach, while cramming references to Radahn into the dlc (like the Red Bear npc, and his relationship to Gaius and Messmer) to make him seem less out of nowhere… but to me it just comes across as a rushed plotline with extremely clumsy foreshadowing. I guess they didn’t know they would get to make a dlc when they made the game so they didn’t include anything about him and Miquella in the base game so there wouldn’t be random plot threads that go nowhere, or they originally planned something slightly different that didn’t pan out so they had to rework it but were only able to do so in the dlc. either way extremely disappointing. also his promised consort remembrance weapons are the laziest excuse for a remembrance of all time they’re just the starscourge greatswords again but different. is this some kind of sick joke

• favorite line

[footage not found]

just kidding he does have a few quotes: I’ve always liked “I was born a champion’s cub. Now I am the Lord of the Battlefield’s lion.” because of what it says about how he sees Radagon and Godfrey!

• brOTP

Rykard :33 his painting of Radahn means so much to me, it’s such a fond gesture… and the abductor virgins in Caelid seem like Rykard was really looking out for him! it makes me sad to think that they might’ve once been really close but drifted apart because of the war and their own priorities, but also still cared about each other

• ОТР

I don’t actively ship him with anyone tbh nothing has especially caught my interest

• nОТР

I resent Radahn/Miquella ONLY because their relationship has no buildup whatsoever and completely breaks the “show don’t tell” rule of storytelling. we’re told Miquella admired Radahn, but we never see this until he shows up as the final boss! I definitely wouldn’t dislike this ship if they had handled this storyline better but unfortunately with how things went it’s just embarrassing to me

• random headcanon

loves the outdoors… camping, hiking, riding, hunting, any physical activity where he gets to be outside. Rykard is the opposite. Radahn used to bring him on trips and he’d complain the whole way through

• unpopular opinion

I wrote a post about this already, but I think people are too quick to assume that he’s a Golden Order loyalist who wants to preserve the world in its current state. you could go on and on listing reasons why he would actually oppose the current Order… and in fact I did go on and on about it here. I think the most crucial thing to note is that Radahn has always made idolizing Godfrey his entire personality, and Godfrey was literally banished… the Order is very different now from what it once was!

• song i associate with them

again I only listen to instrumental music so I don’t really have thoughts on this sorry 🥹

• favorite picture of them

the Rykard painting <3

I really like how he’s depicted here… he’s got like a mature, lined face, and the way the painting is displayed (in a nicely furnished drawing room above the fireplace) feels like a very public declaration of respect and admiration? I think it says something about Radahn’s character that his brother who despises the Golden Order still seems to look up to him and care for him!

[sunnyxdani]

kenlee: a 4 part analysis

Analyzing one of my favorite ships that I have very suddenly grown very hyperfixated on. Lee and Kenny are partners in crime, frenemies, a variety of things to each other based on what the player decides. Season 1 is notorious for none of your choices impacting anything because there’s only 1 ending no matter what. Yet, genuinely one of the only examples of your choices actually mattering is through Lee's relationship with Kenny. Their dynamic is given more attention and effort and detail than anything else in the game, even more than Lee and Clementines (as far as how it can differ based on how you play). There are also countless tender moments, looks, and words shared between the two that I’ve grown to interpret as more than friendly the more I’ve replayed the game. However, this analysis will break down more tangible moments throughout the game.

Part 1: What Lee and Kenny’s Dynamic is

Lee and Kenny are the classic but tragic “never got to tell them how I felt” trope. Due to many factors, their feelings for each other were something that they only had themselves to rely on and carry the burden of. This even resulted in tension in resentment towards one another. From the overwhelming apocalyptic state of the world, to Kenny having a wife and kid, to the both of them most likely not being comfortable exploring their sexuality– so many odds were stacked against them. Ultimately, they were in a predicament where they could’ve confronted their feelings for each other if they were given more time. But, the two men only knew each other for a handful of months before their separation.

While most of the obstacles that got in the two’s way were external, Lee and Kenny, Kenny in particular, also got in their own way very often. One of the main ongoing plot points within season 1 is that Kenny and Lilly both have a different way of leading and Lee is stuck in the middle. Along with this, Lee is generally put in a lot of difficult situations with Kenny, as Kenny sees him as his right hand man and takes it very personally whenever Lee disagrees with him on something. Now, what I’m about to say next is my own opinion and anyone reading is allowed to disagree but, I personally think that the version of Lee and Kenny’s relationship that’s the least accurate is the one where Lee agrees with every single one of Kenny’s actions and has Kenny as an immovable pillar of support. This is because I’ve always interpreted the most canon version of Lee to be the one who tries his best to take the moral high ground, which Kenny arguably doesn’t always do. So, as off-balanced and unhealthy as their relationship turns out when Lee sticks to these morals, I do think it’s important to what Kenny and Lee’s true and honest dynamic is— after all, they’re foils to one another.

Something that’s important to address is how much Kenny cares what Lee thinks— more specifically, what Lee thinks of Kenny. This is something that Kenny has shown time and time again to agonize over. As far as the first season goes, generally anyone could disagree with Kenny and he would feel more inclined to brush it off and carry on because he knew that, to him, he was right— except for when it comes to Lee. Whenever Lee expresses disagreement or disapproval in something that Kenny is doing, Kenny is beside himself. He rages at Lee, tries to convince him to see things his way, holds a grudge towards him, and overall gives the other man a very emotionally heated response. My belief is that Lee is someone Kenny admires and looks up to to a degree. Because of this, whenever him and Lee differ on something, it forces Kenny to self-reflect and reevaluate his own actions and values, which Kenny isn’t comfortable with doing. Furthermore, he’s also convinced himself that Lee thinks less of him as a person everytime the two don’t see eye to eye on something, which Kenny could not bear. To cope with all of this, he tries to bring himself to hate Lee instead.

So, how do Lee and his feelings play into this? The way I see it, Lee is the only person who sees the hurt behind Kenny’s actions, the good intention behind Kenny’s actions, and can understand the man even when he doesn’t agree with him— the only one besides Katjaa, of course, which isn’t for nothing. As someone who was on his way to jail for murder a day before meeting Kenny, he understands expressing anger through aggression, feeling betrayed by someone you love, making mistakes that can’t be undone, etc. better than anyone. And while he’s not proud of those things, he came out of the situation feeling as though he has no right to judge anybody, so he doesn’t dare judge Kenny. That being said, he hopes and tries to assist Kenny in working past his demons the way that Lee was able to. He sees the great traits within Kenny— his ability to lead, his passion for what he believes in, his diehard efforts to protect his family— and believes that those things are capable of defining him instead of the bad. (long story short he thinks he can fix him y’all sorry)

Part 2: How Their Interactions Mirror one of Two People in a Relationship

This next section is going to be dedicated to a variety of examples that showcase my point that Kenny and Lee’s relationship was written a lot more intimately and a lot less “bro” like than there’s any excuse for. These are all instances that fail to add up completely unless you switch the perspective from platonic to romantic.

What I believe to be the strongest example of this is when Lee finally faces the stranger in the season 1 finale. The stranger asks Lee, “Have you ever hurt somebody that you care about?” and it prompts three options for the player to choose from. The first option is his wife, and the second option is Clementine who is essentially a daughter to Lee. These options make complete sense, especially since this question is followed by the stranger sharing how he hurt and lost his children and wife. The third option, however, is Kenny. This option sticks out like a sore thumb to me because it just doesn’t really fit quite right as the placeholder “friend” option. If Kenny was Lee’s childhood friend, or even college friend, or any context where they had a long standing history with each other that started before the apocalypse, I don’t think I would’ve bat an eye to it. It’s like how if (I don’t watch the show so if this ends up making no sense forgive me) Rick gave Shane as an answer, I wouldn’t have questioned it. Lee and Kenny only knew each other for around 5 months, though. Additionally, the only things Lee did to “hurt” Kenny was by personally hurting his feelings whenever he had a differing opinion as him. The way that Lee speaks about the entire situation in hindsight just feels a lot deeper and much more nuanced than a friendship.

Additionally, when the crew are all stuck in the attic together, Lee is having a conversation with Christa and Omid where he reveals who he’d like to take care of Clementine if he didn’t make it. The options are either Christa and Omid themselves, Kenny, or to find a different family to take care of Clementine. Kenny’s always been my favorite character, so the first couple of times I played this game I chose him based solely on bias. As I got older, though, the option of Kenny once again felt out of place for me. Lee is capable of choosing between a healthy stable young adult couple with good heads on their shoulders who want to raise a kid anyway… or Kenny. It’s not an even comparison at all– unless Kenny was Lee’s partner, then asking Kenny to look after Clementine in his absence would make perfect sense.

This one has been pointed out various times by shippers, but I’m going to mention it anyway because I think The Walking Dead Game’s writers are brilliant and that very little of their dialogue can be brushed off as an ‘accident’ or ‘coincidence.’ Throughout the game, only three people refer to Kenny with the nickname ‘Ken’: Katjaa, Sarita, and Lee. Do I think TWDG writers added this with the purpose of hinting at Lee and Kenny having a romantic relationship? No. However, I do think this was done intentionally to emphasize the level of closeness between the two, and I find it interesting that they went about it by giving Lee a habit that only Kenny’s wife and Kenny’s girlfriend could share with him. In other words, it feels like these two characters were coded without the game even realizing what they were doing– not like I’m complaining.

Part 3: How They’re More to Each Other Than They Are to Their Canon Love Interests

I’ve given examples of when the story has treated Lee as though he’s equal to Katjaa and Sarita in Kenny’s eyes. However, there is also evidence of Lee being held closer to Kenny than Katjaa or Sarita– same goes for Lee, as there’s an argument to be made that he held Kenny in a deeper regard than he did Carley. I want to preface this by saying, I am not here to pit Kenny and Katjaa against each other and don’t think it’s necessary to advocate for this ship. I myself love Katjaa as a character, and I also know and believe that Kenny loved Katjaa deeply. Sarita is a different story, and I could go on my whole tangent about how she was only put in the story as a plot device to drive a wedge between Kenny and Clementine, but I won’t. I’m also a fan of Lee and Carley as a ship, and a big multishipper in general, so please do not misunderstand this as me invalidating any other pairing.

When Carley (who canonically was Lee’s hinted at or potential love interest) was shot in the face right in front of Lee, he was considerably okay. All of his energy was put into disciplining Lily, but as far as Carley’s death itself, he didn’t really give much of a reaction. He had watched so much death at the point that it seemed like he was starting to get somewhat desensitized to it. When Kenny “died”, however– because remember, he never actually saw it, but just the mere thought of Kenny dying had Lee torn up in a way we hadn’t seen throughout the entire game. He took a beat to kneel over, exclaimed and cursed to himself, and was incredibly somber from that point on. There are even dialogue options for him to get snappy at Omid and Christa about the matter right after, making it abundantly clear how sore he’s left from it.

Kenny, on the other hand, mentioned, reminisced about, or blatantly said that he missed Lee on multiple occasions. He had only really mentioned Katjaa once in season 2 (from what I can recall), and one could argue that it was out of respect for Sarita, which is fair. This brings me back to what I touched on earlier about Sarita, which is that I feel she’s a placeholder– for both the story and for Kenny. He seemed excited to be with someone again, to have someone to hold at night, and to have the void of loneliness filled more than he seemed connected to Sarita as a person (hence him saying “I won’t be left alone again” as Sarita was dying–felt like the reminder of his past trauma was what was hurting him in the moment if anything). He, in my opinion, genuinely had the most connection or a dynamic that feels the most like a relationship on paper with Lee than any other character in the game.

Part 4: What Made Their Parting so Tragic/Their ‘Confession’

Seeing the scene for yourselves is a lot easier and much more effective than me trying to explain how it went, so refresh your memory with the video linked below:

If I had to pinpoint a part of the game that felt like an admission of feelings between the two, I’d say it was the moment during their separation, which is painful enough in itself. The few words that were exchanged by them in that moment, as well as the context of Kenny sacrificing himself and Lee fighting to convince him not to, felt like they were conveying everything they were feeling but couldn’t bring themselves to say directly. Along with this, Kenny let go of his complex towards Lee in that moment. He finally stopped feeling threatened and belittled by Lee’s unwavering goodness and, in Carley’s words, took a page from his book. That’s the silver lining of this moment– Kenny finally made a decision that he wouldn’t live in regret about.

Lee, on the other hand, died thinking that Kenny was dead. My best friend pointed out how, in Lee’s final moments, he probably thought about how he’d get to see Kenny again, not knowing that Kenny was perfectly fine. That just about broke my heart. What’s even more heartbreaking, though, is what would’ve been going through Kenny’s mind if Lee had cut his arm off. He disappears with the possibility of Lee still being alive hanging over him, agonizing over not being able to find him again– especially by the time he met up with Walter, Matthew and Sarita, as he probably encountered or heard stories about people who survived bites by cutting off their limbs by then. Once he reunited with Clementine and saw that Lee wasn’t with her, he was then forced to face his death.

In conclusion, I interpret Lee and Kenny to without a doubt have feelings for each other, but I believe they never got an opportunity to act on them. Their love story ends with Lee dead, and Kenny left agonizing over what could’ve been. It’s not a happy story at all, but that’s what makes it so good… and if there are any modern AU fics of them out there please send them my way because I am in misery. Again, this is all simply my opinion and I do not care enough to argue about it, though I’d love to hear everyone’s thoughts! Even differing ones given that you’re being respectful :)

[darcytaylor]

I feel like we’ve hit a very interesting time with Luke and Nicola. Now that we know they have been filming but we never saw any signs of it like they typically have shown, it seems fairly clear that they are changing up how they will be interacting on social media with the fans of Bridgerton. And quite frankly after her interviews at the 100 event, I am not seeing the same dedication and willingness to commit to the show that she had previously.

Luke in general is confusing because he has just basically dropped off the face of the Earth in a lot of ways, and even if he does have stuff going on behind the scenes, his lack of being at industry things or having social media partnerships, or brand collabs, etc is such a weird move after leading the season.

With the events of last weekend, and some of the weirdness around everybody else involved, I can’t help but feel like there is a lot of reasons for there to be resentment around this fandom and show. We don’t know these people obviously, and this is all conjecture and speculation, but it really feels different and like we are seeing the negative impact of all this on real people in real time and it is not fun.

Knowing they’ve been filming without posting about it could be a sign that they’re stepping back on purpose from interacting with fans - or it might be a strategic decision, where they’re not allowed to post anything Bridgerton-related at the moment. It’s easy to see how, as fans, we got used to almost daily posts, interviews, and content, and now the lack of that is jarring (even with the tour being months ago). Nicola is still posting, but compared to the world tour and before, it’s less frequent and a little less personal.

I do think that it’s worth mentioning that they have a larger fan base now, and with that, there would naturally need to be a change in their approach, both in terms of social media presence and other aspects of their lives. It’s possible that as they grow as public figures, they’re pulling back, maintaining boundaries, or shifting how they interact with their audience. They might be trying to be more intentional with what they share (although, if I’m being honest, Luke’s suitcase post didn’t seem very intentional or a good post to share with fans - especially if it's not work related travel).

Luke’s posts in general have been very lackluster, and his work-related announcements aren’t much better (it's only been about what hotel's he's been staying at). But as I’ve mentioned before in other posts, he could be trying to figure out his next steps, and when someone is doing that, it can take a while - life is hard. I have no idea what his plans are, or if he just needed a few months off from being front and centre of the biggest show of the summer.

Do I think it's the best career move? No, but it's not my career to worry about. I'm sure he'll figure it out and eventually show up at an industry event or two in the future.

It’s also possible that, with so much discourse surrounding his personal life, especially with speculation about who he might be dating, he’s navigating how to balance being in the public eye on a larger scale while still trying to maintain control over his personal life. He might be working on how to be in a relationship without letting the fandom or public opinion dictate his choices, which could be part of why he’s stepped back so much. But again who knows? Since his Italy trip, I really don't know what the status is of any of his relationships with the people in his life, and I think that's a good thing).

To be honest, I don't mind less posting from everybody involved. It's pretty peaceful!

And just like I've said so many times, I don't know any of these people. I don't know what is going on in their minds, anything is possible. I think the waiting game can be fun though!

[in1-nutshell]

Hi! if the request/ask is open, if so, could you do of tfrid 2015, Steeljaw's pack, and/or other cons, your choice, with human (gn! or f!) Reader? Romantic/Platonic

This Human's a cinnamon roll, somewhat naive/innocent, (has the personality/backstory of Perrito from the Puss in Boots movie or Fluttershy from MLP). They're very motherly and being nurse/therapy-like friend and also a Pacifist yet can be passive-aggressive…

I loved Perrito's character in the movie! His backstory bits where a bit of a twist yet it works! I hope I did a good job adopting his character into Buddy's. Lets see how Buddy's dynamic goes with some of the members of the Con's pack.

Hope you enjoy!

Steeljaw and his pack reaction to Bot Buddy with the personality of Perrito from "Puss in Boots the Last Wish"

SFW, platonic, mention of tragic backstory and some injuries, Cybertronian/ Bot Reader

Rid 2015

Bot Buddy is a minicon with a dog alt mode.

Why is the world is Buddy with these criminals?

Well, Steeljaw had stumbled across the confused minicon with a large garbage can on top of their helm. He grabbed the can off to see Buddy.

“Oh! Thank you!”--Buddy

“Erm… you’re welcome?”--Steeljaw

“Wow it’s been a long time since I’ve talked to someone. Even longer since that can’s been on my helm! That reminds me—”--Buddy

“Right… Do you have a place to go? A team perhaps?”--Steeljaw

“Nope I’ve been a part of a team before but more importantly do you want to be my friend? I can do cool tricks, I have a handy tool kit and—”--Buddy

“Can you do patch work?”--Steeljaw

“Oh you bet I can!”--Buddy

“Hmmmm… I guess I could be your friend— what are you doing?”--Steeljaw

“I’m trying to hug you?”--Buddy

“… Oh Primus…”--Steeljaw

If the Autobots could have a minibot, why couldn’t he? Buddy becomes a medic for the Cons as more join the ranks. The Cons, especially the newer ones, don’t know who Buddy is even around them. They know that they aren’t innocent and pure, but Buddy seems to be made of pure light and positivity that it hurts.

Steeljaw

Steeljaw doesn’t regret picking up Buddy despite what he might say sometimes when he is angry.

Buddy had made themselves a rather vital member of the pack whether it was intentional or not.

Not only was Buddy excellent at patchwork, but there was something about them that made everyone let their guard down.

Steeljaw even felt himself slipping sometimes when their talks go on for a bit.

“Oh! That reminds me of the time my friend pushed me off the ship while the ship was taking off! I fell near some of the acid waste, but I managed to land on a pile of sharp scrap. Oh! I also saw the prettiest piece of kibble that day!”--Buddy

“You’re friend… pushed you off a moving shuttle?”--Steeljaw

“No, the accidentally pushed me after they opened the shuttle door.”--Buddy

“…”--Steeljaw

He is disturbed hearing Buddy backstory.

Just how??

Their backstory screams anger, pain, resentment. Buddy just smiles and looks at their experience positively.

If the Bee team ever came across Buddy and tried to ‘rescue’ them, Steeljaw is unleashing the entire pack on them.

Buddy belongs to the pack and no Autobot is going to take them away from pack.

Thunderhoof

Thunderhoof was confused over Buddy existence. He has never met a bot this nice; it seems suspicious.

If they’re playing a game, then so can he!

It isn’t until Thunderhoof has a ‘friendship bracelet’ around his servo that he realizes that this might not be a game.

He takes Buddy under his metaphorical wing.

He does tell Buddy that he expects their loyalty, but Buddy is too busy hugging his ped to really notice too much.

Buddy mentions a bit of their backstory and he has to pause whatever he is doing.

“That was so cool! That reminds me the one time some of my friends and I were playing hide and seek—”--Buddy

“Hmm yeah?”--Thunderhoof

“—And I had to hide and, and guess what? Guess what Thunderhoof!”--Buddy

“What kid?”--Thunderhoof

“I hid in a scrapyard for 3 weeks! I am still the best hider ever! They said they checked everywhere but that just proves how good of a hider I am!”--Buddy

“…What?”--Thunderhoof

How was Buddy not vengeful? Not bloodthirsty? Not mean?

After all of that…

Thunderhoof does have a chat with Steeljaw about their past and they both agree to keep an optic on them.

He is ready to ram any bot if they come close to Buddy.

Underbite

Meeting Buddy was rather eventful as Underbite nearly ate them. A swift kick to the helm via Steeljaw stopped that though.

He ‘apologized’ and to his surprise Buddy forgave him.

Underbite brags all the time about his achievements to Buddy and Buddy just listens happily.

He comes to Buddy when he feels the need to brag mainly.

Buddy mentions a bit about their backstory, and he feels uncomfortable.

“The way you crushed that tin can reminds me that time my friends brought me to a trash crusher and accidentally pushed the on button! They were so silly and it was such a fun prank.”--Buddy

“You… nearly got crushed in a crusher?”--Underbite

“Yeah! Its was such a cool prank!”--Buddy

“… I’m just gonna go over there for a bit…”--Underbite

He doesn’t press anymore on this subject. This is not his suite and will not touch the Feelings.

He is willing to help Buddy out of a tight situation.

Who else is he supposed to brag to about his achievements.

Clampdown

He uses Buddy at first.

No one in the pack can seem to hurt Buddy so they make a perfect shield.

This has worked for a while. Buddy even offered to be his shield which he greatly takes advantage of this.

Until Buddy lets loose one of their backstory tales he backs off immediately.

“Are you okay?”--Buddy

“Yeah, yeah I guess still got my shell.”—Clampdown

“That reminds me the time my friends accidentally forgotten me under some rocks for a bit. And guess what!”--Buddy

“…what—”--Clampdown

“I chewed my pedes off to get out and crawl to a med kit! I saw the prettiest sunset that day.”--Buddy

“… I—I—Who are you?”--Clampdown

He is horrified hearing this and thinks that Buddy is an evil mastermind.

This was all an act! It has to be!

He does not care too much about if Buddy was taken by the Bee team. Maybe a little bit guilty, but that’s about it.

Quillfire

Like everyone else Quillfire is confused and suspicious of Buddy. After a bit of time, he gets used to Buddy.

He can rant and tell Buddy of his plan for revolution.

Buddy just listens intently and just feeds off of his enthusiasm.

He gets in on some of Buddy’s backstory and he is horrified.

“You throw those quills so far Quillfire!”--Buddy

“Yes! Each one was in the name for the Revolution!”--Quillfire

“Yeah! The Revolution! You know, this reminds me of that one time one of my friends thought it was funny to put me in a stasis pod and, and guess what! They shot me out of a canon into space! That’s actually how I got here—Umm… Quillfire?”--Buddy

Quillfire hugging Buddy with some tears in his optics.

How could sweet little Buddy be okay after that!? Quillfire wants to wrap them in a blanket and give them a cube full of energon. They deserve better friends.

Quillfire will die for Buddy.

He will throw any plan to the wind if Buddy is in danger. Quills will be thrown if Buddy is in danger.

[ticcitavvi]

Oh gosh I think I’m deep in the mlp obsession now 🫥

I’ve hesitantly dubbed this next gen verse ‘Incipient!verse’, and to start it off have a twipie kiddo! 

I plant to make a secondary blog later to properly house and upload future next!gen so don’t worry abt my flooding your feed with too much more pony content :)

her info below 💝

Name: Saccharine Artifice Age: Indeterminate Parents: Pinkie Pie x Twilight Sparkle

Pronouns: She/Her Gender: Cis Female

Race: Alicorn x Earthpony Build: Short and stocky, with an odd mixture of unicorn, Pegasus, and earthpony traits.  Voiceclaim: Allyn Rachel (‘Bee’ in Bee and Puppycat)

Talent: stratagem/logistics

Description: Saccharine Artifice is rarely bested in matters which necessitate strategy or cunning, with a mind umatched in regards to tactical thought. She most especially has a knack for reading the ponies around her, seemingly always one step ahead in a, usually, one sided game of wits. Unfortunately, This means she’s really rather quite bored half the time, which in turn ensures that the other half is spent eagerly searching for an enticing enough challenge. 

Still, Saccharine is, at her core, an extroverted pony with an, albeit overwhelming, emotional intensity and unforgettable presence. She sees little to no issue asking others uncomfortable, or even inappropriate, questions, either in a misguided attempt at making friends or to satiate her own curiosity, and has no concept of small talk unless it’s part of some elaborate plan.

With very little interest in her role as her mothers’ successor, bored to bits just by the very idea, Saccharine avoids her duties like the plague. She resents her position deeply, and this has caused a large rift between herself and Twilight.

Saccharine has a few odd quirks, both magical and physical. She possess an amount of control over magic that is wholly unheard of in any race outside of unicorns or alicorns, and was born with a few glaringly obvious ‘mutations’.  While Saccharine typically maintains a purely pony-like appearance, she only rarely hides her teeth, which are much sharper than usual. 

After much research, it was discovered that this is all due to pinkie pie’s brief stint with discord’s magic, which has left her with an incredibly abnormal amount of chaotic magic even after its removal. This magic seems to have had interesting effects on Saccharine, the full breadth of which is still left to be discovered.

[dontbesoweirdkira]

I know it was kind of covered in your how many children would they have, but I want to know how Sam, Vito and Paulie would handle taking care and raising kids. I think it would be chaotic

A/N: let’s pretend this didn’t come out months later and at 1am.🫣 didn’t add Vito because I already spoke on him being a father.

Warnings: none super fluffy

Requests: open 24/7

Masterlist

Sam

I think Sam would be a rather stoic and emotionally absent dad. I’ve mentioned before that he absolutely loved his kids and would give them the world but he’s just flawed.

He’s terrified of being a bad father and his kids resenting him when he gets older so in turn he just shuts down a little bit.

I don’t think any of the mafia one characters had *great* fathers and so Sam is definitely struggling with navigating through fatherhood. Especially if he has daughters. He doesn’t know how or where to start with taking care of a little girl and he would push that more into the mother. He’d be a standard over protective dad who doubles as the walking atm.

I think with boys he’d have a bit of an easier time. At first when they are little he’s kind of stand-offish. That is an unknown territory for him and he’s never been good with babies or toddlers. He hates the crying, the diapers, the mess and all that. Getting down to their level is slightly uncomfortable for him to do aswell.

I like to think when they get older tho maybe around 7 or 8 he starts to lighten the load for his wife. Probably try to find more time away from the mob so he can actually get to know them. He’d take his kids out shooting, to sports games/races, to get ice cream and most importantly to meet the family.

I can imagine his kids being sneaky menaces. I just know one would sneak under the table during a meeting and bite Tommy’s ankle. Or steal candies from shops nearby while Sam is preoccupied.

I personally see sam as kind of like the older brother of the trio and new recruits of the mob. He’s an old soul and is rather good at teaching things. But—when the it comes down to it he can be a bit goofy and let himself go. I think he’s that way too with his boys. His dating and life advice are a bit….unconventional to say the least lol.

With time he’ll understand that it’s okay to be vulnerable with them and to show them more that he loves them. A few mess ups won’t change the undying love his boys have for him.

Paulie

The fun dad that everyone absolutely wanted growing up.

Paulie isn’t a perfect father by any means and he has a lot of work he needs to do on himself but he truly is a family man at heart. That’s all he’s ever wanted in his entire life and it’s the whole reason he joined the mob is to actually have people around him that “cared”.

Now he finally gets to be and provide everything that he never had growing up. Unlike Sammy, I think Paulie loveeees when his children are babies/toddlers. He loves getting down on the floor with them and playing pretend games. He’ll gladly listen to his baby girl talk about her dollies or his son boast about his trains all day. It brings him so much joy.

He never got to really have a childhood and for him this is finally his time to experience all the wonderful bliss of being a child.

He’s actually really great at calming the children down for nap time and poopy diapers doesn’t phase this gangster in the slightest. Anything beats working for the don.

Speaking of the mob, he would flip his absolute sh*t if he found out any of his kids tried joining or dating in the mob… he wants them to have a clean and happy life. Paulie has seen far too much death and heinous abuse to ever want that for his own.

As far as being serious and able to have teaching moments, I think this is where Sam has him beat. Paulie sometimes doesn’t want to get into the nitty gritty of things, he wants his babies to stay innocent forever. He doesn’t like having to correct them or be the bad cop ever. His children being upset with him kills him. Paulie just so desperately wants to be the good dad they can brag about to all their friends, he only wants them to have good memories.

Having the kids work at the pizza shop with him is a great way for him to install discipline and good morals into them while they can still have fun together.

Speaking of the pizza shop and chaos, lord help him. They have to clean for hours after each shift because they have frequent food fights😭

[ren-054]

Infodump about my Kitsune Clans Backstory (including Natsu)

I’ve been thinking on it and I realized, if I ever wanted to artistically present my view on the kitsune lore, I’d have to either write a whole novel or make a game because I absolutely do not have the time or energy to plan out the reveal of all the info I have

Like I still have ideas for some pieces I’ll want to make, but I’m a yapper first and foremost and I wanted to just put my ideas on the table for future reference

Notes on the screenshots: I should correct the “why would you go to war” line with “if your leaders were mutually super competent”

I would never say that the kitsune never knew what they were doing, but when push came to shove, they all fell short of their duties unfortunately and couldn’t maintain peace

It was a long running tension between all the clans that came to a head with part of the Summer clan being the instigator, but the Winter clan, under Fuyu’s command, technically declaring the war out of vengeance and to exercise their power in the face of being horribly disrespected by their neighboring clan

Leading up to this instigating event, the Autumn clan was in the (possibly unprecedented/emergency) process of exchanging leadership and were not in the position to be doing risky diplomatic decisions while Aki was still adjusting

While with the Spring clan, I genuinely view Haru as a passive individual (at least during the time before the wars) who really didn’t have the experience or wisdom to use his authority with purpose. He prided himself on maintaining peace within his clan and his clan alone. It may have also been within the interests of his advisors or the Spring clan’s culture in general

As for Fuyu, he’s an old man who holds a sense of self righteousness and dignity about him at all times, at least from what I’ve seen in game. He’s a man of pride, to a fault. I’d assume Fuyu would’ve felt off-put by Natsu’s more forgiving and lax leadership style due to their closeness in age—only a difference of about 200 or so years.

Fuyu had a much more pragmatic and cold method of leading which didn’t make him the most popular authority figure in his community, to be honest, whereas Natsu was loved dearly by many his clan members, almost cultivating a family-like dynamic. Fuyu objectively knew why his relationship with his people was so different from Natsu’s, but still it nevertheless stung.

Fuyu ended up being too prideful to realize that Natsu needed direct (and probably less accusatory) confrontation about the issues Fuyu was noticing before they got out of hand like they did. I feel like his lack of understanding and slight jealousy over Natsu’s comparatively gentler nature festered into a resentment that Fuyu wished to watch be “corrected” through Natsu’s own error.

This ultimately led to The Incident, and Fuyu, mad at himself (subconsciously) and Natsu, had no other choice but to take action

————-*･゜ﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*'･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･* —————

Ahhh god that’s so much text _:(´ཀ`」 ∠):

This isn’t even talking about Natsu’s time post-escape OR his recovery but fpfpakdjs

If you made it to the bottom of my post, thank you here’s some Natsu concept sketches as a reward :3

[ddlcbrainrot]

I love how your mind works so much everything you say is canon now bc I said so.

Since you've done Monisuri, Moniyuri and Natsuri thoughts, do you plan on doing any other ships? Sayonika would be cool/nf

my mind is a cat, a red panda and a raccoon in a trench coat pretending to be human, or so i’ve been told so thank you

if people ask me to, then sure!

sayonika makes my brain go brrrrr and i stop thinking proper thoughts bc i love them so much every time i see them i just go hehehe so this is going to take a while bear with me

m…monika and sayori,… kithes…

ok but srsly, i think the reason i like sayonika so much is bc its a very versatile ship. You want cute best friends to lovers? Side stories are right there. You want angst fest, hurt no comfort with no happy ending? Base game is right there

If we are talking about base game, a lot of questions pop up. Like how did they even get together? (probably some time after the ending, maybe since both have gone through the epiphany they bond over that) Can they even be in a functioning relationship after the events of ddlc? (a functioning one? no lol, but maybe after a lot of work they make something special) Does Sayori ever forgive Monika? (surprisingly, yes after a long time. I actually can see her "forgiving" Monika right away, only for her to build up resentment over time and snap and so she realises that she needs to actually feel and process her feelings of anger and betrayal before she can forgive Monika) Does Monika forgive herself and lets herself be loved? (THERE IS NO WAY LMAO). So yeah, the main headcanon i have for them in base game is that Monika never fully forgives herself, no matter how much Sayori insists she forgives her. Because i love suffering.

Anyway lets step away from the sad sad world of base game and get to the happy stuff of side stories :D

So yeah, bffs that slowly realise they like eachother

I think ive mentioned this before, but they give off first sapphic crush/relationship vibes. if you know you know

Both had a hard time accepting they like each other bc both were like "shes too good for me..." (dumbasses)

Acting like a couple before even being together, im talking hand holding (how lewd...), cuddling, compliments, you name it

And when Natsuki would be like "you guys act so gay for eachother" they'd be like nnNnNoOoOo We're just gals being pals (dumbasses p2)

Who would confess? Probably Sayori. But only in a last resort situation. She'd be expecting to be rejected too. Surprise surprise being the kindest person alive gets people to like you who would have thought

PDA couple.

Sayori's physical affection and Monika's words of affection? You can't be around them without getting diabetes

Im not kidding when i say they would be the worst couple to be around. But like in a sweet way

Sayori steals Monika's clothes

They paint their nails the eye colour of the other person, so like Sayori paints them green and Monika blue

When one is having a bad day, the other gives little notes filled with cheezy puns throughout the school day to cheer them up, and they talk about whats bothering them after (sayori started this and it has become kind of a tradition)

I can keep going but if I do this will end up longer than the declaration of independence

[miss0atae]

Random Thoughts about High School Frenemy (EP 9 – 10): PART 1 – The ups and downs of Saint’s healing journey.

These two episodes gave me so many thoughts that I decided to separate them in three parts otherwise I think it would be too long. This first part will be about Saint’s healing journey. I’ve talked a lot about Shin and how rightful is his anger towards what Saint did to him in the past. I also believe it makes sense for him to forgive him because his relationship with Saint is definitely something very important to him (I won’t say more and if you’re curious you can read it in my previous random thoughts). Now, I want to focus on Saint, because I believe these episodes showed us more about him. I also think his reactions at the end of episode 10 will bring new challenges to his relationship with Shin, but in the end this is just a little setback. I’m convinced it will allow them to grow as a person and ultimately find a deeper meaning in the relationship itself. It has been proved that time, betrayal, fights and anger never truly separated them, so this new “hindrance” won’t do it too.

I admit I was a bit upset when Saint reversed back at the end of episode 10 to be the man who let his guilt consumes him. Especially, as we've seen Shin and him going towards a better understanding and having a more friendly connection. It all started from the point where Shin made sure Saint would stay at the school, even if he had to resort to childish game because their past makes it too complicated to just admit he would miss him. In the same way, Saint stepped in when Shin was ready to fight with Class 3 because their leader was harassing a girl from his campus. Saint also wants Shin to remain at school and not get expelled. He has been very vocal when it comes to tell Saint how much he wants to be his friend and for them to be close again. Begging, claiming his “love” in front of everyone, doing things for him or his little sister… there is nothing that can stop Saint from showing or saying how much important Shin is for him. Their bond is very strong. We haven't seen him being this close to anyone else. He may have some people who he is friendly with, but no one is as important as Saint is for him. That's why what he did in the past feels as much as a betrayal for us the viewers, as it can be for Shin.

However, despite the anger and the resentment Shin seems to have decided to forgive (and not forget I want to be clear about that because it's important) Saint. This willingness to put an end of the “feud” between them was clearly a good step towards Shin's own healing journey of what happened in the past. I think he isn't calling Saint “friend” again because he is trying to set boundaries to determine what are his needs. As for now, it is to spend time with Saint and to reconnect slowly. We've finally seen Shin smiling again when looking at Saint. As he let go of his anger and warmed up a bit to Saint, we can also see that it has a positive reaction on Saint too. Obviously how Saint will react is deeply linked to what Shin will say or do. There is no one he trusts more in his life, in the past or in the present. That's why when Ken comes with a deal to stop the “bullying” against Shin if Saint does something for him, he accepts. Saint wants Shin to be able to start anew and it's not going to be possible if there is always animosity and violence at school. This part of the episode, showed his devotion, but also highlighted how Shin also wants to protect Saint. They escaped a very dangerous situation together and it made them reminiscing their past friendship.

They were finding what fueled their relationship and it was glorious to see, unfortunately the past can't be rewritten and when they came back to Shin's house, his mother reminded them of what happened before. I have a confession to make: I was at first quite angry at her. It took me a while to see her point and to understand her. I think it's because I have compassion for Saint, despite what he did. However, I can also recognize that Shin's mother is doing it out of love for her son. She must have seen him crushed not just because he lost his dream after being too injured by Saint, but he also lost his best friend at the same time. When, Saint saw with his own eyes what his “ego-induced madness” did to his best friend, he never really apologized, he ran away. We've yet to see why Saint made this choice, but knowing his personality we can make a guess. First, I believe he started to feel guilty when he noticed the extent of his action. Secondly, and it works with my first guess, he probably believed that nothing would make it right and he decided it would be best to leave Shin alone.

Guilt can feel heavy and difficult to offload. The more you live with it, the less easy it is to let it go. It's been three years that Saint has been living with it and he has been self-punishing himself for that long. When Shin and his campus students were merged with Saint's class, I think Saint found there an opportunity to reconnect with Shin. The strength of their bond is so important that it may have temporarily made him act, despite his own guilt. I'm not saying he forgot about it, because it has always stays at the back of his mind, but I think the grasp it had on his mind was less important. When Shin's mother reminded them of what happened, it woke Saint's guilt up. That's why Saint told Shin he would avoid him again. Of course, Shin didn't react well because he sees Saint doing exactly the same thing he did to him back then. It brings back the memory of the betrayal and the abandonment issue he got from this time. It feels that Shin reacts more badly to this experience of being abandoned than the loss of his dream and the injury on his leg. It makes you wonder, if Saint had stayed, despite everything, would they have remained friends?!

Now about Saint's guilt, there is only one thing that could save him and also save his relationship with Shin: learning how to manage his guilt. He should avoid self bad talk. Yes, his behavior has been less than ideal in the past, but it doesn't define who he is now. He has grown up and he is actively trying to do better. He shouldn't decide for Shin and listen more to how he is feeling. Even if Shin has been rejected him a lot, he has also shown several times in the present how he is also willing to be close to him too. It's not easy to read, but knowing how close they are, I believe Saint may be able to really understand Shin. It's actually weird because Saint has shown, in some way, that he was trying to let go of his guilt, when he was making amends and apologize for his past behavior. So, you see that he tried, but a habit is hard to break. He has been feeling guilty for so long that it makes it hard to forget about it. In truth, what Saint needs to do is to forgive himself too. Even if Shin says out loud that he forgives him, he would never be able to forget what happened. The guilt would always come back and ruin their relationship. Only, by forgiving himself, he can work toward freeing himself from being stuck in the past.

Saint must break the cycle of punish himself for the past mistake, as if he could somehow “make up” the wrong that he has done by doing so. This will be one of the hardest challenge, because it is always harder to forgive ourselves. I want to add also that letting go of his guilt is not just moving on and forget what happened as if nothing bad was ever done. It is about self-compassion and allowing Saint to grow from the experiences he had. This is his journey of forgiveness so he can also heal and find peace. This is the only way for him to be able to reconnect with Shin. I just hope Shin will be able to understand it because Saint hasn't been able to do it by himself. It may be preposterous to ask Shin to understand Saint after what he has done to him, but I believe this is the only way that would really work with Saint.

[prettyplumpkitty]

I have this issue in my life and I have nowhere else to really present it.

It’s the longest story in the world but I will try to be concise.

My brother in law & his wife are a wreck.

They are both mentally ill; him physically ill as well with an autoimmune thing. They have two kids, both autistic, one non verbal. So a lot on their plate. They are also fifteen & ten years younger than me, respectively.

They live 4 miles from us in a 250K+ home that my mother in law bought for them and helps pays to maintain. She is also semi-retired and spends any time not working at her health care job cleaning their house & taking care of their kids so my brother in law can do…nothing.

He has no real hobbies other than video games and no other interests. He is bitter about “living at home” again and refuses to go into town, lest someone he knew from the past “see” him. His wife is the breadwinner and their interpersonal relationship can be very toxic at times.

Suffice it to say, they are just very unhappy. My brother in law looks up to mister, his 9 years older brother, especially since they lost their dad almost a decade ago. But there has become a very negative, horrible bias against us where these two think our lives are super easy & have been.

Brother in law is currently not speaking to mister and ignoring messages and attempts to communicate. He will, however, continue to text & talk to our 14 year old son. This is not the first time this has happened at all. Brother in law will get it in his head that we’ve slighted him by not coming to visit him at his house enough (he won’t step foot in our house) and that everyone hates him and thinks he’s a loser (which is kinda true cause he acts this way…self fulfilling prophecy).

What’s recently come out is that brother in law and his wife are mad jealous.

Which in a way I understand because I know how my life presents on paper so to speak. I am excellent at curating a beautiful existence on Facebook & Instagram which is the only way those two look in on us. I am so good at it, I’ve made a position for myself at work with my skills and no college degree.

But more than anything, it’s that mister and I chose to have a positive attitude about the difficulties & struggles we’ve encountered in this life.

THAT’S what makes things look “easy” for us.

But it really hasn’t been and I’m growing very resentful for these very much younger folks thinking everything has been peachy keen when I was parenting a child while they were still fucking babies themselves. There are parts to my life they know NOTHING about and mister’s too.

We have gotten to the point where we are ready to cut all ties because it is too toxic and they always target us when things are going especially rough for them or my brother in law is in some bipolar mood. However, my mother in law LIVES with us so it is very hard to avoid the topic. It is all very drama-inducing and I hate drama.

So, any advice? Not sure what I’m asking specifically but I had to get some off my chest. It just sucks knowing people are super jealous of you AND think you’ve taken easy street when it’s not at all the case. Mister doesn’t let other people have that kind of authority over his own narrative but I am always plagued by feeling, is there truth to this? when someone is upset with me.