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noxiwrites · 2 months ago

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Encounters; Peter Parker

summary; an unlikely encounter begins to spiral into many.

It’s a busy night in New York city when you first meet Peter Parker. The rain is pouring down, the threat of thunder and lightning fast approaching as you tried your absolute hardest to push through the crowds of people, jacket clung tightly to your body.

Despite the rain, New York is still bustling, bars on the streets packed and sidewalks an absolute traffic jam. You’re just trying to get back to your apartment, dancing between your feet at the crossing on your block when you see him.

He’s across the other side of the crossing, chatting to a tall guy with dark brown hair. He’s got shaggy dark brown hair, wearing an oversized jumper and some baggy jeans. You’re not sure what catches your eye about him, but you’re in such a trance you don’t hear the beeping of the crossing until people begin to push past you. You begin moving fast, the rain gaining on you.

When you draw closer you hold a breath, wrapping your arms around you further. your earphone begins to slip out of your ear so you reach up to push it back in when your shoulder gets pushed to the side.

You meet eyes with him.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t see you,” he breathes, and your eyes lock. you shrug, smiling at him.

“It’s okay.”

A honk of a car breaks you apart as you rush to the other side of the crossing.

The second time you see Peter you’re sure it’s not a coincidence. you’re out with friends, at a bar on the other side of the city, when he comes in. He’s with the tall guy again, and another slightly taller guy with brown hair. They take a seat at a booth at the other side of the bar from you, so engrossed in conversation that they don’t notice you staring.

Your friends do, however.

“Which one are you staring at?” Molly asks, leaning on the palm of her hand closer to you.

“I’ve kinda got my eye on the dark brown haired one with the beard.” You giggle at her wooing over the mysterious boys friend, shaking your head.

“I’ve just seen the shaggy haired guy before, last week.” You tell her, turning your gaze away from him. You were convinced this wasn’t a coincidence; New York was far too big- especially when you were on the other side of the city from where you last saw him.

“Oh yeah, really? you think it’s true loveeeee?” She swoons at you, giggling as you hit her arm. The both of you soon join back into conversation with your friends, the strange guy at the other side of the bar soon forgotten.

Around an hour later, a bartender comes over with a drink, placing it in front of you. You look up, confused, telling them that you didn’t order anymore and you were literally just about to leave.

The bartender shrugs. “It’s from some guy who told me to apologise for bumping into you the other week or something like that. That’s it, enjoy the drink.” The bartender walks away before you can make any further comment, cheeks scarlet red as your friends woo for you. You look over at where he was sat, the table empty.

You’d tried everything to find the mysterious guy again, keeping an especially open eye every time you stepped out into the streets of New York, to no luck. Eventually, you stopped trying to find him and just accepted the fact that the two encounters you had were just that.

It's a Saturday night and you're on your way home from work, texting Molly about some nonsensical things when you hear someone shout. Just regular New York, you think to yourself, not bothering to take your earphones out or even look up from your phone. You're around ten minutes away from your apartment, you text Molly. She's always worried about you working late nights and then having to walk home.

You hear the shouting again, this time closer to you than you would have honestly liked. You decide to look up, seeing a couple walking their dog a few hundred yards in front of you. Behind you, there's nobody. Same thing across the street. You relax, thinking it must be coming from the street over, until the door of a shop in front of you bursts open, a very burly man with a mask covering his face comes pounding out. Immediately you lower your head, noticing the gun in his left hand and bag of what you can only assume is cash in his right hand.

Not seeing or hearing anything is a habit you develop in New York, very quickly. Sometimes it works, and sometimes it doesn't. Today, you're unlucky.

"Hey, you," the guy calls, and from the top of your vision you can see him gesturing his gun towards you. You take out your earphones, hands lightly shaking. You'd had some close calls in this city before, but nothing like this. Where did the couple with the dog go?

"I know you fuckin' hear me, give me all your shit and I'll let you go," he demands, moving closer. The gun is still on you. You can hear sirens lightly in the distance, but even at this time, the traffic is insane. The police won't be here in time. You look up at the man, shakily removing your bag, chucking your phone inside and holding it out for him to take. He snatches your bag with his right hand, and you can see him eying you up and down.

"The necklace too, gimme that," he gestures with the gun, looking around. "Be quick, I ain't got all day."

You almost rush to take your necklace off, struggling with the clasp, tears now sliding down your cheeks. Scared wasn't even the correct word. Your fingers keep slipping, almost a refusal to take the necklace off. "What the fuck you playin' at bitch, give me the goddamn necklace," he shouts, gun now aimed directly at your face.

"Not so fast buddy, I'd put the gun down if I were you," A voice calls, almost daunting. A flash of red and blue crosses the corner of your eye and you wonder if this isn't the end after all.

"Who the fuck are you?" the masked guy yells, pivoting around to come face to face with the blue and red flash you saw. Spiderman. You almost can't believe your own eyes, the masked vigilante that you'd only seen on the news was here, right in front of you. Saving you. You hoped.

"People call me Spiderman. To be honest, I prefer something like the Amazing Spiderman, or the Sensational Spiderman, or even spidey- but just plain old Spiderman will do, I guess," He gestures towards your bag in the other man's hand, making a tut noise.

"Now I know that doesn't belong to you, so why don't you be a good boy and give it back?"

The masked guy scoffs, aiming his gun at Spiderman, who raises his hands in self defence. "Hey, look, we can all be friends here,"

"I ain't interested in making no friends, move out of my way," the masked guy demands, his finger going for the trigger on his gun. Before he can, the gun is out of his hand, webbed to the wall next to you. The guy turns, obviously confused, and despite wearing a mask, you can see his face contort in anger. He pulls a knife from his pocket and brandishes it towards Spiderman.

"Is that a knife? A real knife?" Spiderman pleads, hands raised as he kneels to the floor. You can't tell if he's being serious or not.

"Yes its a real knife, now fuckin move,"

"My weakness, it's small knives," Spiderman announces, still on his knees.

"Just let me go," the masked guy is almost begging now, as the sirens of police cars wail closer.

"anything but knives!" Spiderman shoots a web, sending the guys knife, and hand this time, flying into the wall next to you. You flinch, shaking as you step to the side and hopefully out of sight.

"What the fuck is this stuff?" the guy asks, trying to tear his arm free, to no avail.

"Oh it's webbing that I designed myself, I don't think that you really wanna know right now," Spiderman responds, shooting his other hand so they're both firmly on the wall. You watch as he gets up from his knees, waltzing over to the guy and graciously grabbing your bag from the guy, who shouts in protest.

Spiderman webs his mouth shut. "For good measure," he says, finally turning to you. He stops. You can't see behind the mask but you know something is going on.

"I uh, I think this belongs to you," he holds out your bag. You reach for it with a shaky hand, taking it from him and clutching it your chest. Tears still roll your cheeks, the terrified feeling seeping through your bones. You see a police car skid onto the street, the store owner finally coming out of his shop. He looks far worse off than you.

"Well, that's me guys, I better be going- those guys don't like me all too much," Spiderman gestures to the police, who are now clambering out of their car with their guns raised. Spiderman lingers for a second, and you're sure he's staring into your soul- before he shoots a web somewhere up high and disappears.

The first thing you do is call Molly.

You've not left your flat in two weeks. You're terrified, petrified even, to go outside. You had almost died. Almost. If it wasn't for Spiderman, you were pretty confident you would be dead. Something about him kept lingering on your thoughts.

Molly had tried time and time again to get you out, your entire friend group wanting to hear about your encounter with said Spiderman. You didn't quite understand their marvel over you almost dying.

You're lying in bed, watching some reality tv show when your phone pings next to you.

Going to walk into that bar and guess who walks in before me?? that guy you like and his friends!!! she texts, followed straight up with another text. Get your ass down here and get ur man!!!!

The thought of him makes ur heart jump, thinking about those past few encounters you had with the unnamed man. It makes you giddy, thinking you might finally have the chance to talk to him properly- and the bar was only five minutes away from your apartment.

Molly is waiting outside with a cigarette in her mouth when she sees you. She squeals, stomping over in her heels, wrapping you in a tight hug.

"Those will kill you ya know," you breathe as she keeps you in a hug. "Oh I don't care, I'm just glad you're alive," she exclaims, slowly pulling back. "I can't believe the thing that got you out of the house was a guy and not me," she pouts.

You smile, gesturing for the both of you to go inside. Molly throws her cigarette to the floor, clasping your hand in hers and dragging you inside. All of your friends gather round you when they see you, asking how you are.

It doesn't take them long to move onto the conversation about Spiderman. You knew this was coming, and as you're explaining what happened to you, you're looking around the bar to try and find him. Molly notices and brushes your shoulder, pointing to a booth in the corner. He's there, with his friends, and you can see them chattering away about something but he's not paying attention- instead his eyes are focused on you.

"Hello," he mouths, with a little wave and a smile. You blush as Molly smacks your shoulder, and look away.

"C'mon, don't get nervous now," she whispers in your ear, slightly shoving your shoulder. You look back to see him with crossed arms on the table, observing you. You shyly wave back and he smiles, turning to his friends and engaging in their conversation.

A couple hours pass and you're genuinely having a great time with your friends when someone taps you on the shoulder. Molly grins at you as you turn, to see mystery boy standing behind you.

"Cig time, anyone?" Molly asks, and it takes all three of your friends a few seconds to catch her glare before they agree and bustle away from the table. You shoot Molly a worried glance as she wiggles her eyebrows at you before disappearing out of the bar entrance.

"Uh, hi," you manage, gripping the edge of your chair. He smiles at you again and your heart flutters.

"Hi," he says back, stuffing his hands into his jacket pockets. Something about his mannerisms seems familiar, and not just from all the times you've ran into him. No, Something else.

"I'm Peter, Parker. Peter Parker." You nod, cheeks burning. Behind him you can see Molly and other others watching you through the glass of the bar door.

"Nice to finally know your name, Peter, Peter Parker." He laughs, breathing out a "yeah" in response. You notice that he's got some cuts on his face, an old bruise covering his left cheek and eye.

You're in the middle of telling him your name and asking why his face is covered in cuts and bruises when your friends come back in. Molly has a shit eating grin on her face as she takes her seat next to you.

Peter passes you a slip of paper and you unfold it to see a number scrawled on there.

"It's uh, it's my number. Maybe we can catch up without accidentally bumping into each other." He grins, before nodding to your friends and disappearing out of the bar door. Your cheeks burn the brightest red they have all night as your friends bombard you with questions.

You had been texting Peter Parker nearly constantly for the past week. It felt relieving to know his name, as you're pretty sure you would have never talked to him or asked him if he hadn't come up to you first. You've been talking about going on a 'date' for the past two days, inviting him over to your apartment tomorrow to make him some food.

You're cooking in your kitchen, considerably late at night, when you hear a loud thump come from what you can only assume is outside your window, on the fire escape. Taking your earphones out, you listen for any more sounds. None.

You decide to leave your food cooking on a low heat at the side of the stove, slowly wandering into your bedroom where the fire escape was.

You couldn't fucking believe your eyes. Spiderman. He's leaning against the railing of your fire escape, and you can see his chest moving very shallow. There's a big gash across his chest, ripping a large hole into his suit. His head turns toward you and he raises a shaky hand to gesture to the window.

You hesitate before rushing over, pushing the window up and gawking at the masked man outside your window. The coincidence is too hard for you to believe. You’re in shock.

“A little help?” He coughs, tone questioning. You scramble, snapping out of your shock as he leans forward, slowly crawling in through your window. You clasp at his arms as he clambers to the floor, blood slowly dripping out of the wound on his chest.

“I uh, I have a med kit in my bathroom, hold on,” you stutter out, shutting the window and bustling out of your bedroom into your joined bathroom. You stumble over to the cabinet and throw it open , pushing skin care out of the way to grab the small kit. You’re not sure what exactly it’ll do but you hope it’ll help.

Back in your bedroom, spiderman is heaving, coughing and spluttering through his mask.

You kneel in front of him, opening the kit. It has some bandaids, bandages and some alcohol wipes with a bottle of fluid. You pull the bottle out, reaching for a makeup pad off your desk.

“This is probably gonna sting a lot, okay,” you whisper, and he nods his head. You pour some of the liquid onto the pad and hesitate before pressing it to his chest, grimacing as you hear him hiss in pain. His hand reaches up for yours, gripping it tightly.

“Thank you,” he whispers back, and you recognise the voice. You’re sure of it. You continue cleaning him up, wiping away all the blood and throwing the pad before grabbing one of the bandages.

“I mean, you saved me so it’s like the least I can do,” you waffle, dabbing at his chest and ripping the bandage out of the package with your teeth.

“I’m just your friendly neighbourhood spiderman, doing my job,” he says, and you can almost see the grin under the mask. So familiar. That voice. You definitely know it from somewhere.

“So uh, what fucked you up this bad? Last time I saw you was pretty badass, not one single scratch.” You’re trying to make conversation now, hear his voice, figure it out. It’s right there. On the edge of your mind.

“A lizard, fuckin massive one, would you believe it?” He laughs this time, recoiling slightly as you finally tape the bandage over his wound. He does look slightly stupid, red and blue costume almost covered in a big white bandage.

“Actually, considering you’re spiderman with webs coming out of your wrists, yeah, I would.” You raise your eyebrows.

“You know what, you actually have a point.”

It clicks. You’re not sure how- but it does. You’ve not heard Peter Parker speak all that much- but his voice. You know his voice. It can’t be. There’s too many coincidences going on here for you to form a coherent thought and he notices that.

“Hey, you-”

“Peter?” Your voice is quiet. “As in Peter from the bar but also Peter that I’ve been bumping into around New York City for the past month? Peter?” You stand, stumbling backwards.

He raises his hands, standing too.

“Peter Parker? Spider-Man? Is this a joke?” You ask, more to yourself as you fall back to sitting on your bed. You’re in complete disbelief.

Peter- you think, slowly walks towards you. Limps, if you were to be critical. He’s still got his hands raised in self defence, but they raise upwards towards where his mask meets the rest of his suit. Eventually, after a few seconds of silence, he pulls it off.

Peter Parker is spiderman. You have no words.

“Now, in my defence, this isn’t the way I wanted you to find out- but you gave me your address for tomorrow and to be honest you were they only person I thought about when I got hurt- I thought you’d help and I was right.” He tells you, mask in hand. You’re still shocked, mouth open as you stare up at him.

“This is crazy.” You wipe your hands down your joggers.

“To be fair I wasn’t planning on telling you until like the third date,” he takes a seat next to you, groaning as he moves his wound.

“You saved my life,” you murmur, turning to look at him. He grins, lopsided.

“How else was I supposed to give you my number if I didn’t?” You laugh, unsure if it’s out of pure shock or he’s genuinely funny.

“But uh, this is totally crazy! Peter, you’re really Spider-Man?” You ask. He laughs, nodding his head.

“I can see you’re in denial, which I totally get- but I can smell you’re cooking something really good and I’m quite hungry so why don’t we have that dinner date now and I’ll tell you all about it?”

You nod. You’ve definitely never seen something this crazy in your life- but deep down, you knew that you liked it.

After feeding Peter and checking his wound, which had healed super fast- a part of his powers apparently, you were both sat on your fire escape watching the sun slowly rise over New York.

You lean into Peter’s side, sighing.

“This is crazy, don’t you think?”

He turns his head down to look at you. “The me being spiderman thing or the whole bumping into each other a whole bunch of times thing?”

You tilt your head upwards to look at him too, your faces mere inches apart. “Both work pretty well together I’d say,” your eyes flutter down to his lips, and then back up to his eyes.

He grins, leaning in closer. “Well I’m pretty happy things worked out this way. Including the big lizard.”

You smile. Peter Parker is Spider-Man. And he’s sat next to you.

“I’m going to kiss you now,” he narrates, and you giggle as he leans in. Below, police sirens begin to course through the city followed by some crashes- and a large roar.

Peter groans. This time, it’s loud and annoyed. He lingers, but the noises below persist.

“I’m gonna have to take a rain check on this, the city needs saving,” you frown, pulling him in by the face and pressing your lips to his. He faults for a second before melting into the kiss, before you’re both interrupted by what sounds like an explosion.

“Really, I’ve got to go. But this isn’t over.” He pulls his mask on, gives you one final look and a squeeze on the waist before he jumps off your fire escape, shooting webs and swinging away.

What have you got yourself into?

Part two? Possibly some smut? Let me know!!!

#spider man #andrew garfield #andrew garfield spiderman #spiderman fluff #romance #the amazing spider man #spiderman #x reader #spiderman x reader #spider #the amazing spider man 2 #tasm peter parker #tasm!peter x reader #tasm!peter imagine #tasm spiderman #tasm andrew garfield #tasm!peter x you

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wayfayrr · 11 months ago

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By your side from day one <3

finally set aside some time to finish off wilds turn for being self aware, the smartest one who found a way to get out without breaking your tv and getting the glass shards of screen everywhere. I'll be back on requests and such soon though!! <3

[masterlist]

“Come on [name], you can’t be serious about missing out on plans just to talk to someone you don’t even know is real.”

“You say like I would want to go clubbing tonight either way, besides he’s said he’s just been working up the courage to video call.”

“And you trust that?”

They’ve got enough of a conscious to look a bit ashamed when I look at them, I know they’re worried for me but of all the things to be so worked up about this seems harmless.

“What if I told you that he was messaging me and telling me to stop talking to you.”

“Can you show me the proof.”

“Well… no. he deleted them immediately afterwards.”

Are they just jealous? This is so unlike them that it’s offputting. I know they can get a little worked up when I get close to other people but accusing my online friend - accusing wild - of threatening them? It’s petty and childish. Are they afraid I’ll replace them or something?

“Okay, alright. This isn’t going to make me cut him off you know?”

“[name]...”

“Reach out when you don’t feel like senselessly trying to cut me off from others. I’ll see you around.”

Hopefully, it’s sooner rather than later, but if they don’t? It’s their own fault they thought they would need to sabotage my other relationships to get closer to me. They even have the audacity to call out after me as I’m leaving, still trying to warn me about him, like they can’t accept I would dare get close to anyone else. Not like it doesn’t feel awful potentially losing a friend like this, but what can I really do?

The trip home seems to pass in a blur, until I’m already collapsed onto my couch with a familiar notif going off on my phone. Opening it proves it is exactly what I expected it to be, a message from him, asking me how my day has gone showing me more care than nearly every other person in my life ever has. Not expecting me to drop everything on a dime for him, even if recently he’s been getting more possessive in his messages like he wants to be serious when I’ve never seen his face.

- I’ve been decent, met up with a friend. Not much really, you? -

- Had to do chores for someone I don’t like >:( wanna get away from everything tbh -

- why not just up and leave? -

- I mean, it’s not like I haven’t been planning something -

Seems like the possessive streak has worn off now then, so I don’t have to worry about mentioning friends again. There isn’t even a reason he should be possessive of me though, unless he’s got a secret crush or something. Which I hope he doesn’t, he’s been speaking to me for barely a couple of weeks.

- You free to call tonight? It’s been a while. -

- I’m good rn if you are. I’ll just grab my headphones - one sec -

- :DD perf perf -

Honestly a call will be nice, I can just zone out for a bit, play some games and chat. It’s the perfect way to destress after everything that happened earlier, I still can’t believe they threw away our friendship over something so small. Maybe I should just block their number and drop them even if they do try and apologise, I don’t really need people like that in my life.

“So then love, any plans for tonight?”

“I thought you said you were gonna drop calling me that?”

“It’s silly and you didn’t answer my question anyway.”

“Nah not really. I’m just loading up breath of the wild, been a bit since I’ve -”

“Oh shit.”

Has wild been link this whole time, wait - how did he get access to the internet, HOW IS HE SENTIENT?

He’s just sitting in his hateno house, holding the sheikah slate like a phone and silently, through the switch anyway, talking. The look of horror on his face is gut-wrenching though.

“You - you…”

“Oh - uh - I mean. Come on love it’s not that bad is it? I - I’m not going to hurt you, I swear.”

“I don’t think I want to deal with this right now… I’m sorry I just.”

The look of horror and shame shifted terrifyingly fast when he noticed me moving to turn off the switch, replacing itself with fear and anger before he steeled himself, and presses his hand against the slate’s screen?

…

He - he’s reached through my phone to grab onto my wrist.

“No, don’t turn me off, I can’t go back to being just a voice. Please”

“How… how are you DOING THIS?”

“That… Isn’t what matters right now.”

His grip feels so nervous, he looks it too - which makes sense, I would probably be petrified if I lost my body just because I was trapped in a game. I can’t turn him off that would be cruel… he deserves better than that.

It instantly lightened as I moved to sit back down, a sigh of relief echoing through both my tv speakers and my phone, as he let go the second I sat with his hand retreating through my unbroken phone.

“Okay, you promise you won’t try to turn me off?”

“I won’t if you’ll explain.”

“That - that’s fair, I can do that for you love and - if I told you that I think I’ve figured out a way to get out? Would you let me live with you?”

“So that’s why you were so forward abou- yes you can. When you’ve explained everything. And made it certain you’re not planning to kill me because you’re scared of me sending you back.”

The reverb’s stopped now, which makes talking a lot more pleasant and less like he’s trying to intimidate me now, not that I blame him for it if I was about to condemn him back to that hellscape. I just, I really hope he isn’t trying to get out just to kill me, I don’t think I would ever be able to get over my childhood crush wanting to kill me even if he has every right to want that.

“What- No no I don’t - why - why would you think I would ever want to even hurt you let alone KILL. I - love I. I love you. That’s why I’m doing all of this - I - I.”

He’s crying. I should’ve known that he wouldn’t do anything like that - it’s within his right to - but he’s link, he’s the hero, the protagonist who was stuck to my side through it all. I know I shouldn’t have said that it wasn’t meant to be cruel but it was careless enough to hurt him.

“I’m sorry, I came on to strong, you - you have every right to be scared of me. I promise though love I - I will never hurt you ever.”

“I know… I just panicked. You can explain now I won’t overreact again I swear. Or if you’d prefer -”

“If I would prefer..?”

“Why not get out first, then explain?”

Lighting up a firework in my face would have been less blinding than his smile in that moment, it’s such a sweet smile - a genuine one too. Meaning that I said the right thing, that I’m doing the right thing by giving him this chance.

Hopefully, I won’t regret it.

“Really? You’ll let me do that?”

“I think it’s a good idea, it’ll be easier to talk to you as well. Just - how are you going to go this?”

“Um, oh, well uh, I think I could possibly make your switch into a mock version of a warp medallion? Then link my slate to it and just well”

“That makes sense, you can go ahead then, shouldn’t take long right?”

“No, no it won’t.”

A couple of seconds was all the wait it needed for him to stumble out of the blue lights and right onto me, clearly disorientated by the shift into reality. Probably not as bad as any of the 2d links would have struggled to be fair to him. It was an even shorter wait for him to jump onto me and cling even tighter than a koala could ever hope to, nuzzling up against my neck like it’s the only - because - it’s the only real touch he’s ever felt.

“So you want to explain then?”

“Could we wait? That took much more effort than I thought. I just want to rest a bit if that’s alright.”

“As soon as you’re rested enough to. You going to sleep for a bit then?”

“No I still want to talk, just about something less taxing?”

Seems like he’s more dodging the topic than anything, which is fine I can get him to talk about it later, there really isn’t a rush for anything. It’s fine. Besides he’s like an excited kid that’s staying up way past his bedtime right now, where’s the harm in staying like this for a bit?

“Mind if I ask why you’re so determined to call me ‘love’ then?”

“Because you’re everything to me, my light, my love, my life - you’ve been with me through everything. From when I woke to killing ganon and you didn’t abandon me there. You’ve shown me your favourite cities, stuck with me when you had the choice to choose others because you said I am you favourite, so really? How could I not love you?”

“You were aware even in Mariokart?”

His giggle is sweet, he’s so charming right now, especially with how unaware of it he is. It’s so earnest and unfiltered, just so raw, I could go the rest of my life with that being the only thing I ever hear again. Compared to how he acted in cutscenes as well? He’s happy. Tired but happy.

“Oh before I forget, You should be expecting a delivery actually!”

“What.”

“I’ve been wanting to get out of the game for a while so I ordered some things to try make myself more appealing to you.”

“Like what? Link you didn't need to do anything like that.”

He just shrugged, seems like I won’t be getting an answer to that till whatever arrives whenever it does. Seems he really wasn’t lying about being tired though, he’s already starting to fall asleep laying against me like this. Thankfully he’s light enough to move to a more comfortable position, although theres nothing I can do about how tightly he’s holding me and truthfully? There’s nothing I want to do about it.

“Y’know I think I could get used to this.”

“Yo’ will I pr’mise, I’ll make you addicted to m’.”

“Well that isn’t ominous at all… and you’re already asleep.”

#linked universe x reader #yandere linked universe x reader #yandere linked universe #link x reader #yandere link #lu wild #lu wild x reader #botw x reader #botw link x reader #moss✦writes #botw link #tloz #self aware au #self aware tloz

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morgana-larkin · 4 months ago

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Alright I finally finished it! Worth It part 11! I recently had to move quickly and I’ve been working on it for a month so I really hope you like it. I’ve decided to just start posting them on here like all my other fics instead of posting the link. Not edited in the slightest and I hope you like it!

On another note: I’m back and getting to all the prompts! I’m settled in my new place and getting back into the groove of things!

Worth It - Eleventh Week

Warnings: LOTS of smut like 5 smut parts, PTSD, little bit of swearing

Words: 10.26k

“Son of a bitch.” Melissa groans out as she wakes up with a headache. She cuddles into you and pulls the covers over herself to block out the sun.

“Hungover?” You ask her softly and giggle when you feel her nod her head. “I’ll go get you some water and Advil.” You say and go to get out of bed but Melissa prevents you from leaving.

“Nooo, staaay.” She pleads and holds on to your waist.

“Melissa I’ll be right back, but don’t you want something to help with that headache?” You ask her and you feel her shake her head.

“No, I just want to cuddle with you.” She tells you and you smile.

“Melissa, I’ll be right back ok? I’ll go get water, Advil and some of the leftovers you made on Thursday for us to eat because I’m starving.” You tell her and she sighs. She reluctantly lets you go and you move quickly, so she doesn’t have time to change her mind.

As soon as you get back you see Melissa is fast asleep and you can’t help but stare at her as you place everything on the nightstand. You both have been through a lot and the one constant you both seem to have to help through all of that is each other. You climb back into bed and Melissa, even asleep, moves to be closer to you. You sit against the headboard and Melissa’s head is in your lap and you stroke her head. You run your fingers through her hair and move it out of her face. Melissa stirs a bit and her eyes flutter open and sees you.

“Hi Amore.” She says softly with a smile. You smile back at her in her sleepy state.

“Hi Cuore Mia, I brought you some water, Advil and Thursday's frittata leftovers. Eggs will be good for you right now.” You tell her.

“Can you at least close the blinds, or turn down the sun, whichever is easier.” She says and you laugh. You get up after she removes her head from your lap and you close the curtains, effectively blocking out the sun. She pulls the blanket off of her face and sees you walking back over to the bed. She smiles at you when you get into bed and she moves to have her head on your lap again. Just then you get a call and Melissa blocks her ears as it’s causing the headache to be worse. You reach over and put your phone on silent and then see that Kristen Marie is calling you. You answer the call and put it on speaker.

“Hey Kristy.” You tell her.

“Hey short stack. U busy today?” She asks, straight to the point.

“I got an appointment in about an hour but after that I’m free. Why?”

“I thought we could hang out today, just the two of us and catch up?” She asks you.

“Ya, definitely. Melissa is a little hungover anyway so I doubt she’ll want to go anywhere today. Right Melissa!” You yell and Melissa groans.

“Ow, Evaaa.” Melissa whines and you hear Kristen Marie laughing over the phone.

You and Kristen Marie discuss a time and location and then you get ready for your therapy appointment. You give Melissa a kiss goodbye and then leave for your appointment.

“Then I heard they left to go back home. And while I’m glad my parents left, I still wanted them to apologise. I don’t know if that’s selfish or not.” You tell your therapist.

“It’s not selfish to want the people who are supposed to love you unconditionally to apologise for hurting your feelings.” She tells you. “You’re human, and humans crave emotional connections and support.” She adds on and you nod. “You mentioned that you got mad and scared when Melissa offered to help you.” She states and you nod again. “Did you get mad because you thought that she believes you couldn’t do it on your own or because you thought you’d be a disappointment if you asked for help?” She asks and you sigh.

“I guess…both. It’s also all I’ve ever known so asking for help would be a change that I’m not used to.” You tell her and she nods. “How would I go about being comfortable asking for help, especially with Melissa?” You ask her and she hums.

“It’s not going to be easy. But you could start asking for help with small things and then work your way up.” She tells you and you nod. “But the biggest challenge for you would be to change your brain into knowing that asking for help isn’t a weakness or someone trying to hold it against you. Now, was there anything else you wanted to talk about today?” She asks you.

You go see Kristen Marie at the ice cream shop down the street after your appointment.

“Hey short stack.” She says when she sees you.

“Hey blonde devil.” You retort back.

“Blonde devil, haven’t used that one in over a year.” She says, impressed.

“I know and it’s so fitting for you.” You tell her and she smiles.

“So what flavour are you getting? Or are you too obsessed with ginger flavour?” She teases you and you smack her head.

“You know me and chocolate, and I think I need it after the therapy session I just had.” You say and she looks at you.

“And how is that going?” She asks and then places her order to the worker. She pays with her card and then moves so you can place yours.

“Good I guess. It’s just…it’s not easy.” You tell her and she nods in understanding. “Two scoops of chocolate in a bowl please.” You tell the worker and then pay.

“So what exactly happened when your mom and dad were here? You didn’t say much.” She asks as you both get your ice cream and you go to have a seat.

You then explain everything that happened and what your mom said to you and what you said when you snapped.

“Wow, if I’m being honest I’m impressed you finally put her in her place.” She tells you.

“She hasn’t said anything to all 3 of us since. Luckily dad still texts us.” You say with a sigh.

“Eva, she didn’t deserve you. She was always putting you down cause in her eyes you never met her standards. But you need to make your own life and I’m glad you’re giving it your all.”

“Who knew you Schemmenti’s are so soft.” You tease her and she smacks your arm.

“I’m just stating the truth because you need to hear it. I’m sure my sister has told you something similar, she always was one of the softest in the family.” She says with an eye roll and you snort.

“Melissa is one of the softest in the family.” You say teasingly and Kristen Marie raises her eyebrows at you. “Wait, you’re being serious? What exactly am I walking into next weekend?” You say, a bit concerned.

“No need to worry, you’re with Melissa. No one will bother you. Melissa is soft but she’s the oldest sibling. We all respect her too much to piss her off.” She tells you.

“You pissed her off and then she didn’t talk to you for years.” You state and she chuckles.

“Sisterly love can be confusing.” She says and you giggle. “Now how far have you and Melissa gone?” She says and wiggles her eyebrows. You smack her shoulder with a scoff.

“I’m not telling you anything, she’s your sister.”

“Exactly, I need stuff to tease her about.” She tells you with a pout.

“You just told me that you all respect her too much.”

“Ya we respect her enough to not tease you but we’ll obviously tease her.” She says with a shrug. You both finish up your ice cream and then she walks you to your car. “Things are good with you and her though? I don’t know much about what happened a couple weeks ago but I do know both of you got hurt badly.” She asks you and you take a deep breath.

“Ya, we’re good now. What happened a couple weeks ago though…um…well Melissa was trying to help me and support me with everything I’m dealing with and I had a breakdown.” You tell her and she immediately gives you a hug.

“Thank god Melissa didn’t do anything bad so I don’t have to kill her.” She says jokingly without breaking the hug and you laugh. You reach your car and you say goodbye to Kristen Marie.

“Well this was nice. I guess I’ll see you and all of your siblings next weekend.” You tell her and she nods.

“Can’t wait for you to meet them all in one place.” She says and you chuckle.

“Ya, Melissa is excited about that too. Me meeting all her siblings.” You tell her. “Well, see you next week.”

“See ya.” She says and then you get in your car and drive home.

When you get home, you walk in and immediately hear some singing coming from the kitchen. You guess that Melissa is up and her hangover is manageable now.

“Welcome to my silly life.” You hear and you go to see if you could get a better view of her singing while cooking. “Mistreated, misplaced, misunderstood. Miss knowing it’s all good, it didn’t slow me down.” She continues singing while you open the kitchen door and she looks up and sees you. You see her phone on another counter playing the song while she was cutting up some fruits and veggies. “Mistaken, always second guessing, underestimated. Look, I’m still around.” She continues singing and she puts down the knife and walks over to you as you step all the way in the kitchen. She puts one hand on your waist and holds your other hand in hers as you put your free hand on her shoulder and you both start swaying and dancing. “Pretty pretty please, don’t you ever ever feel, like you’re less than fucking perfect. Pretty pretty please, if you ever ever feel, like you’re nothing, you’re fucking perfect to me.” She sings the last part while looking into your eyes. “You’re so mean, when you talk, about yourself. Change the voices, in your head, make them like you instead. So complicated, look happy, you’ll make it.” Melissa continues singing as she sings right to you and you have no idea what to do except listen to her sing and let her lead in the dance you’re doing. “Filled with so much hatred, such a tired game. It’s enough, I’ve done all I can think of. Chased down all my demons, I’ve seen you do the same. Pretty pretty please, don’t you ever ever feel, like you’re less than fucking perfect.” As she sings the line, she tucks a loose strand of hair behind your ear and you look at her in the eyes. “Pretty pretty please, if you ever ever feel like you’re nothing.” Before she says the next line she cups your cheek. “You’re fucking perfect to me.” She sings and you lean in and kiss her. You kiss for the remainder of the song and when it finishes is when you pull back. “Hey Amore, how was your appointment?” She asks and you sigh.

“It was alright. You came up in the appointment.” You say and she hums.

“Oh ya. What about?” She asks as she wraps her arms around your waist and you put both your arms around her neck.

“How I can ask you for small things first to get used to the idea of asking for help from you. As well as with other people. Just to change my brain to knowing that it’s ok to ask for help.”

“Well I’d be happy to help with that. Anything you need help with right now?” She asks and you think about it.

“To be honest, right now I just want some cuddles. It was a very tiring session today.” You tell her and she smiles before giving you a kiss on the cheek and turning around back to what she was doing before.

“Well cuddles I would always love to do. So how about I finish chopping up this food to snack on and you go pick a movie to watch?” She asks.

“I would love that.” You tell her before going to the living room to pick a movie. “Hey Mel! How about the Addams family?” You ask her and she comes out with a couple plates and a bowl.

“Addams family sounds perfect.” She says as she gets to the couch. She puts one of the plates in front of you on the table and puts the bowl down beside it. “It’s a cheese dip that my Nonna taught me how to make.” She tells you as she sits down beside you with a plate of her own food. You take a piece of pepper and dip it into the cheese dip and take a bite.

“Holy shit that’s good.” You say a bit muffled with food in your mouth. Melissa smiles at your reaction and then presses play on the movie.

“Is it the one with Christina Ricci?” She asks you.

“Obviously. Why would I play another one?”

“Good point.” She tells you and then places an arm around your shoulders and you lean into her.

After the two of you finish off the cheese dip and food then you get more comfortable on the couch together. You both go to lay on your sides, facing the tv, and Melissa puts an arm around your waist, spooning you.

“You know this would be more comfortable if there was no plastic on the couch.” You suddenly say.

“Shut it you.” She warns.

“I’m just saying.”

“If there wasn’t any plastic on it then it would be filled with wine stains.” She tells you.

“But more comfortable to sit and lay on.” You counter.

“I’ll think about taking it off.” She tells you, knowing she wasn’t winning this.

“Alright.” You say and the both of you continue to cuddle and watch the movie for a couple more minutes. “It’s coming off right?”

“Obviously.” She states and you smile at your victory. “Stop smirking.” She says, knowing you are even though she can’t see your face. You giggle and bring her hand up, that’s wrapped around your waist, and kiss it. “Alright you can smirk all you want if you keep being this adorable.” She says and you turn your head and smile at her.

“You think I’m adorable?” You ask and she gives you a soft smile.

“Of course, I always do.”

“Well I always think you are as well. And so sexy when you become dominant.” You tell her and you see her eyes turn from green to black. You go to turn back to watch the movie and she dives down and kisses your neck. She then moves you to be on your back and kisses your lips. “Whatcha doing?”

“It’s good that you find me sexy when I’m dominant, cause I just love it when you’re my cute little bottom.” She says in your ear and you shiver. She then picks you up, which makes you squeal, and she carries you to the bedroom.

The next morning you wake up to Melissa gently stroking your hair.

“Good morning Amore Mia.” She says when she sees you awake.

“Good Morning Cuore Mia.” You tell her and she smiles then gives you a kiss.

She immediately deepens the kiss and straddles your hips. She moves her mouth from your lips to your ear and does gentle nibbles. She then moves down to your neck and you move your head to the other side to give her more access. You let out a moan when she starts sucking and you unconsciously buck your hips. She trails down to your chest and leaves kisses all around your breasts before taking a nipple in her mouth.

“Dio mio!” You say as you put your hands in her hair. You feel her smirk around your nipple but you don’t have the brain function to speak anymore.

After she finishes with both your nipples, she goes back up to your lips and kisses you. While kissing you, she runs a finger through your folds and you gasp into the kiss. She sticks a finger in your entrance and you moan into the kiss and you feel her smile. She brings her thumb to your clit and applies pressure and you immediately place your hands on her back and bring her closer to your body.

“Hmm, I love you dolcezza.” She says as you’re close to an orgasm. “Go on and come when you need to.” She adds and you come right after she says that. She gently pulls out of you and looks at you with a smile and eyes full of love.

“I love you too.” You tell her as you catch your breath. “Do you want to sit on my face?” You suddenly ask her and her smile grows wider and she nods. “Then come on.” You encourage her and she goes up the bed and places her entrance right above your mouth. She lowers it and you place your arms around her thighs and your tongue makes contact with her entrance. Melissa lets out a moan as you start licking up and down her entrance. You insert your tongue in her entrance and she starts grinding on your face. You move up to her clit and give it a lick and hard suck and she gasps and grabs your hair.

“Eva, I’m so close, Amore.” She tells you. You lick her clit even faster and she comes with a gasp. She gets off of you and looks at you and she giggles when she does.

“What’s so funny?”

“Your chin is wet.” She tells you.

“Well that is where you came.” You tell her with a smile.

“I know, it’s like I marked you.” She tells you and wiggles her eyebrows playfully and you laugh.

“Do you like marking me?” You ask her and she nods confidently. “Hm, btw you seem really horny this weekend. Not that I’m complaining though.” You tell her and she laughs.

“I guess I’m just really happy this weekend.” She tells you. “Now get up, we got shit to do today.” She says as she goes to get up but you grab her waist and pull her back down. “Eva.”

“I want to stay and cuddle for a few more minutes.” You say with a pout.

“How can I say no to this face?” She asks and boops your nose.

“What do we need to do?” You ask her as you place your head on her chest and start twirling a piece of her hair in.

“Grocery shopping, cook meals for the week, laundry, and just a few more weekly chores.” She tells you and you nod. “What are you doing?”

“Twirling your hair.”

“Why?”

“Because I like doing it. Do you want me to stop?”

“No, you can twirl my hair all you want.” She tells you and kisses the top of your head. “Come on, let’s go take a shower.” She says and you both get up to start your day.

“So what are you thinking of making tonight? That will no doubt be our lunch meals for the next 4 days.” You ask her when you both get to the grocery store.

“I was thinking of chicken saltimbocca.” She tells you as you’re pushing the cart through the produce aisle.

“Alright I’ll just pretend I know exactly what meal you just said.” You say and she chuckles at your comment. “Should I just park the cart here and look at these lovely muffins?” You ask her playfully.

“Maybe you can get some cookies.” She tells you and you nod and look at the selection of store made cookies. Melissa goes and gets all the fruits and veggies needed for the week while you decide on oatmeal chocolate chip cookies. “Oatmeal?” She questions when she sees it in the cart.

“My grandma used to make them for me when I was a child.” You tell her and she smiles and wraps her arms around your waist from behind.

“If you want, I can make some homemade ones for you.” She offers and you beam and turn to look at her.

“Really? I mean you don’t have too.”

“I would love too. I honestly missed cooking for someone else. You’ve made me remember what it’s like and I love doing it.” She tells you and gives you a kiss.

“You started cooking for me since like the second week I started at Abbott.” You state and she nods.

“And I’ve been loving it since.” She says with a smile.

“Alright, I would love if you made some oatmeal chocolate chip cookies.” You tell her and she puts the store made cookies back on the shelf.

When you get home you put the groceries away while Melissa gets everything ready to bake the cookies. You do the laundry while she bakes the cookies. When you go and check on the progress of the cookies you see her putting them in the oven.

“Wow, you’re fast.” You tell her and she looks at you.

“Not the first time I’ve baked cookies. My nonna taught me and my siblings more than just Italian meals.”

“Well if your nonna taught you then I know they’ll be delicious.” You tell her and she smiles softly at you.

You go on to do the vacuuming and dusting while she makes dinner and kicks you out of the kitchen. You sometimes help her with the cooking as she enjoys teaching you how to cook but you think that she doesn’t want you sneaking in a bite of the cookies, which you would certainly do. After dinner, she brings out the cookies and you eagerly take one and take a bite.

“Omg, they taste exactly how my grandmother’s ones tasted.” You say to her and she smiles and gives you a side hug on the couch. “Thank you.” You tell her.

“Of course, I’m glad to have made them for you.”

That night you both get ready for bed and then almost instantly fall asleep after setting the alarms.

You turn your head to face Melissa at the altar with a huge smile. You both say I do and then get pronounced wife and wife and share a kiss. After the kiss, Melissa looks you up and down and thinks you look beautiful in the dress. You see her looking at your outfit and do a little twirl for her.

Melissa jolts awake at that moment, breathing deeply, almost as if she had a nightmare. She looks over at you still fast asleep and checks the time, 2:15am. She carefully gets up, to not wake you, and goes to the bathroom. She had no idea why she dreamt of getting married to you as she’s dead set on not getting married again. Unless that thought is changing because of you.

She knows you want to get married but you told her that you don’t have to get married as long as you both stay together. She’s ok with you both staying together forever as long as there was no wedding. But recently she’s been imagining you in a wedding dress randomly and now having a dream about a wedding. She puts her hands on the sink counter and looks at herself in a mirror. Could she really be thinking that marrying you wouldn’t be a bad idea?

She shakes that thought from her head and walks back to bed. She carefully gets back in bed and turns to face you as you're facing her. She gently strokes your hair so she wouldn’t wake you and just looks at you. She thinks you look beautiful and she knows deep down that you’re it for her, you’re the one she’s been waiting for. She’ll have to talk to Barb tomorrow as she always gives her the best advice. For now, she brings your body close to hers and falls back asleep.

The next morning you’re putting the leftovers in your bag for the both of you as Melissa is coming down the stairs.

“Ready to go?” You ask her and she nods and you both get in the car.

“I’m seeing Barb today before class so I hope you don’t mind that her and I will be leaving the break room as soon as I make the coffees for us.” She tells you.

“Of course not. Is everything alright though?”

“Ya, I just wanted to talk to her about something involving one of my students that she had a couple years ago.” She’s quite proud of the lie she made up on the spot.

“Alright, I’ll still see you second period though?” You ask her and she nods.

“Of course.”

You watch her and Barb leave the break room as soon as Melissa hands you your coffee and you go and sit with the trio.

Barb and Melissa went to Barb’s classroom and Barb sits down in her chair while Melissa starts pacing.

“So what is it that you wanted to talk about?” Barb asks gently and Melissa starts fidgeting with her fingers.

“Last night I had a dream that Eva and I got married.” She blurts out and Barb looks at her a bit shocked. She definitely did not expect that.

“Ok, and how do you feel about that?”

“I’m conflicted. You know my thoughts on marriage, but I also can’t help but feel that marrying her in the future wouldn’t be so bad.” Melissa says with a sigh.

“Melissa dear, first of all calm down a bit or you’ll wear yourself out. And second of all, it could be that your thoughts on marriage are changing because of who you’re with. Maybe the idea of marriage is changing because you want to be with Eva for the rest of your life and you don’t mind showing that by marrying her. But even if your thoughts of marriage are changing, it’s still way too early to stress yourself out about it.” She tells her and Melissa nods.

“I know, you’re right but I’ve been dead set against a second marriage for over a decade and now Eva comes along and 12 weeks later I’m rethinking that decision.” She says with a huff. “Remember how, during the first week back you told me that maybe I didn’t find the person I was supposed to spend my life with yet?” She asks Barb.

“Sounds like something I would say but I don’t specifically remember saying that.” Barb says to her.

“Why did you say person and not man?”

“Because I always had a feeling you might be interested in both. And I was right.” Barb tells her gently.

“You always are, even right about not finding that person yet. Now I have, I feel like Eva is it for me. I feel like I want to have a life with her. Have kids, get married, grow old together.” And at Melissa realises what’s really bugging her about the idea of marrying you. “I’m so much older than her Barb. She’s only 30 and I want to still have a family and a life with her like I’m only 30 as well.” As soon as she says a tear slips down her cheek and Barb gets up to comfort her friend. Melissa lets Barb hug her while she cries a bit.

“Melissa, you’re not too old to start a family if that’s what you really want. Eva seems to know what she wants and what she wants is you. And she already told you that she wouldn’t mind having a family.” Barb tells her when she stops crying. “I think that you should think about it and then talk to Eva about it.” Barb says and Melissa nods. They then go on and talk about random things until the bell rings.

“So did you and Barb get that thing with the student figured out?” You ask her as she comes into the library at second period.

“Yep, it was really helpful.” She says and you nod with a smile.

“That’s good, I’m glad that the teachers here help each other out. At Addington they didn’t do that, they just kept to themselves and only chatted about random stuff like the eagles or a new restaurant that opened.”

“Well I think the eagles is an important topic to talk about.” She tells you and you roll your eyes at her.

“I keep forgetting that here, the eagles are like gods.” You tease and she chuckles as she puts her things on an empty table.

“So I know things have been crazy lately but how about, not this weekend but the next, we go on a date?” She asks you and you look at her as you put a book away.

“Really?” You ask her and she nods. “I would love to. What’s the occasion?” You ask.

“No occasion. Just want to have a date with my girlfriend after all the crazy stuff that’s happened.” She tells you and you smile and then you have to check out a book for a student.

On Wednesday you both get up and go to work together. You both head to the break room together to get your morning coffees.

“Hey peeps.” You say to the room and Janine and Jacob immediately say hi back. You put you and Melissa’s lunch in the fridge while Melissa gets you both coffee.

“Dear, I heard you’re meeting all of Melissa’s siblings on Saturday. Are you excited?” Barb asks you as you sit down. You glance over at Melissa getting your coffees and you see her smiling.

“Ya, I’m pretty excited actually. I already know 4 out of 9 though.” You tell her.

“And the other 5 are gonna love you.” Melissa says as she brings you your coffee along with a kiss.

“Just like you do?” You tease her and she gives you a glare as she sits down.

“If they love you like I do then they got another thing coming.” She says and you smile and grab her hand that’s on the table.

“Don’t worry, you’re the only Schemmenti and person who has my heart.” You tell her and she blushes and looks down with a giddy smile before looking back up and looking at your eyes.

“Oh! I almost forgot that the kids are doing an art project today. I gotta get the classroom ready for it.” Melissa suddenly says and gets up. “I’ll see you second period in the library?” She asks and you nod. She grabs her things, gives you a kiss on the head and walks out.

“Now that she’s gone, how do you feel about meeting the rest of her family?” Barb asks you as soon as Melissa leaves the room and you look at her and sigh.

“I’m nervous, really nervous. Like what if one of them doesn’t like me? Or what if her family doesn’t approve of the relationship? Last time I saw them, Melissa and I weren’t dating.” You say frantically and you put your head on your hands.

“Dear, Melissa is right, they’re gonna love you. Do you know why?” She asks and you shake your head. “Because you’re a good and kind person, but most importantly, you make Melissa very happy. As soon as they see how happy you make her then they’ll love you.” She tells you and before you say anything else, Janine notices the time and you all realise you have to go.

On your way to the library you see Anna excitedly talking to Melissa about something and Melissa listening to her with a smile. You unlock the library when the bell rings and a couple of kids go right in as soon as you open the doors.

Second period comes around and you check out a book for the student before he goes back to class.

“Wow, so busy in here.” Melissa says sarcastically as there’s no students around.

“I know, I can barely keep up.” You play along with a smile.

“How was the art project?” You ask her as she walks over to one of the tables to start working.

“The kids love it. We made hand turkeys for thanksgiving.” She says and then shows you hers. “They got me to make one too.” She says proudly and you look at her hand turkey.

“What a cute turkey, and a cute hand.” You say cheekily and grab one of her hands.

“You’re in a good mood this morning I see.” She tells you and then gives you a kiss.

“What can I say? Seeing the woman I love brings a smile to my face.” You tell her and she wraps her arms around your waist.

“Hmm, it brings a smile to my face too. Especially seeing you happy makes me happy.” She tells you and gives you another kiss. “Now stop being so cute or I won’t get any work done.” She says and sits down at the table.

“I can't help being cute, it comes naturally.” You tell her and she snorts and shakes her head. “Btw, this hand turkey is going right up on the fridge.” You add and she giggles.

“You’re adorable.” She says as she puts her glasses on.

10 minutes later, you’re putting a few books away and Melissa is grading an assignment when Ava announces a lockdown. You look at Melissa and she immediately looks at you.

“I don’t remember one scheduled today.” You tell her as you put the books you’re carrying on a nearby table.

“That’s because there isn’t one, it must be a real one.” She says and gets up. You both go to the doors and make sure there’s no students in the hall. After seeing the only kid in the hall run into a nearby classroom, you both shut the doors and locked them. You run to the windows and shut the blinds while Melissa puts both of your phones on silent and turns off the lights. You both then run under your desk and hide together. Melissa puts an arm around your shoulders while you place your head on her chest.

“What do you think is going on to cause a lockdown?” You whisper to her and she thinks about it for a second before whispering back.

“South Philly in the middle of the day…? Could be anything.”

“That doesn’t exactly make me feel better.” You whisper with a bit of anger.

“Oh you wanted a comforting answer? You should have said so.”

“We’re hiding under a librarian desk whispering to each other during a real lockdown. Do you think I wanted the truth?”

“Hmm, good point. You’d think I be better at knowing when someone wants comfort from being a teacher for so long but sometimes it goes right over my head.” She tells you. “Hey, it’ll be alright. People rarely disturb schools and if they do then I’ll protect us.”

“My ginger knight.” You say and she gives a kiss to the top of your head. All of a sudden you hear the sound of a gunshot and people screaming. You then whimper and squeeze Melissa tighter.

“Is one of the windows open?” She asks and she tries to go peak but you prevent her from holding on tight. “Hey Amore, I need to see if one of the windows is open and close it.” She tells you and you shake your head. “Amore please. For our safety and the schools.” And at that you let her go. “I’ll be right back, I promise.”

“Ok.” You then hear her move a bit, than the sound of a window closing and hear her coming back.

“Alright I’m back.” She says and goes back to the same position and you hold on to her again.

“Did something happen in Vermont or before today?” She asks and you nod your head.

“John and I were hostages in a bank robbery in Vermont.” You tell her and she rubs your back.

“Oh, I’m sorry Amore.” You then both hear a muffled gunshot and you close your eyes and whimper again. She then feels you start shaking and your breathing gets faster. She knows it’s the signs of a panic attack and knows what to do. “Hey Amore, Amore, look at me.” She tries to get your attention but you don’t hear her. “Eva, Evalina.” She says and doesn’t whisper it and you look at her. “Hey, follow my breathing.” She says with her hand on your shoulder. You try and follow her breathing but then you flashback to the robbery in Vermont and stop paying attention.

“I can’t breathe, I can’t breathe.” You whisper and she tries to help but it’s not working so she grabs your face and gives you a kiss. She keeps kissing you and only pulls away when she hears your breathing even out.

“You ok?” She asks you and you look at her and nod.

“Ya, just a little lightheaded.” You say and then you hear sirens going by.

“Come here, you can put your head on my chest. I know how much you like it.” She jokes and you let out a tiny chuckle.

“I have a better idea.” You say and then you straddle her lap. You surge forward and kiss her and she doesn’t hesitate to kiss you back. You then deepen the kiss by sticking your tongue in her mouth.

“Eva, Eva, should we be doing this right now?” Don’t get me wrong, I love making out and having sex with you. But…”

“We’re in the middle of a lockdown and in the library alone. Plus, I need to feel you.” You say and take her red blazer off. You then take her pink tank top off and immediately cup her breasts over her bra. You unclip her bra and place it beside you both. You roam your hands all over her back, then bring them to her stomach and put your hands all over her front. “I love your body.” You whisper and she smiles at you.

You then cup her breasts and take a nipple in your mouth. “Ohh, Eva.” She gasps out quietly. She bucks her hips when you do a hard suck and she grabs your hair. You sneak your hand down into her leggings and underwear. You run your finger through her folds and she quietly moans out and bucks her hips. You move to straddle one of her thighs so you can grind on her while you finger her. You then slip a finger in her and she gasps out and pulls your hair a bit. You start pumping in and out of her while you start grinding on her thigh. “Baby, baby please, let me touch you.” She begs and she moves her hands from your hair and trails them down. You grab her hands with your free one and pin them above her.

“You can touch me all you want after, my love.” You whisper to her and she moans out quietly. You feel your build coming and you can tell hers is as well as she started breathing deeply. “Melissa, you feel so good around my fingers.” You gasp out quietly.

“Baby, I’m about to come.” Melissa whispers and you put your thumb on her clit and speed up your movements. Melissa comes immediately and you keep grinding on her thigh as you’re close. Before you come though, Melissa grabs your hips, pulls you off her thigh and gets you to lay on your back with her on top of you.

“Mel, I was about to come.” You whine out quietly.

“I know baby, but you said I could touch you all I want. And I want you to come with my touches.” She tells you and you squirm underneath her. She kisses your neck before she takes your top off. She then takes your bra off and goes right to your nipples. While having a nipple in her mouth, she roams with her hands all over your stomach and cups your other boob. She sneaks a hand down your pants and immediately inserts a finger in your entrance as you’re already wet enough. You moan out when she slips another finger in you and she places her free hand over your mouth as you got a bit loud. She places her palm on your clit and she replaces her hand on your mouth with her lips. She kisses you to keep you quiet as you come. You both catch your breath for a minute before you help each other get dressed.

Melissa can see that you’re still quite frightened due to PTSD so she gets you to sit in between her legs while she hugs you from behind. You immediately relax into her touch and she places comforting kisses on your shoulders and neck.

You both then hear a knock at the door and then keys turning the lock. Melissa holds you tighter as she feels you tense up and then you hear the sound of the door opening. The lights come back on and then you hear Ava’s voice.

“Anyone in here? Eva?” She says. “You can come out now.” She adds on and you peak your head out from under the desk. You see her standing at the doorway with a police officer with her and they spot you. You and Melissa get out from under the desk and Ava gives a curious look. “Of course Melissa was here with you. You’re together all the time and can’t keep your hands off each other.” She says.

“Any students or other teachers in here with you?” The police officer asks.

“No, it was a quiet day and there were no stragglers in the hallway when we checked before closing and locking the doors.” You reply and he nods his head at you.

“Well the lockdown is over. There was a robbery down the street but they caught the guy.” Ava says and then leaves with the officer to let the other classrooms know.

You turn to Melissa and she immediately gives you a hug when she sees your face. “I know it was scary, Amore. But the good news is that it’s over now and we’re ok. Everyone is ok.” She comforts you with. You let out a sigh of relief in her embrace and she gives you a kiss on the head. Melissa leads you out of the library and into the break room. “Go sit down on the couch and I’ll join you in a minute.” She says and you nod then go sit on the couch. She comes over a couple minutes later and you’re staring at the wall, completely zoned out. “Amore, here, some of last night's leftovers paired with a chocolate bar from the vending machine.” She puts the container and chocolate bar in front of you with a smile.

“Thank you.” You tell her and she starts eating her leftovers. “Don’t you have a class right now?”

“It’s lunchtime. Their music teacher will just bring them to the caf.” She says with a shrug. You nod and start eating the food. As you’re both eating, the other teachers start to trail in and sees you two on the couch instead of at the table.

“Omg, that was crazy wasn’t it?” Janine says as Barb comes in.

“Absolutely.” Barb agrees and sees Melissa put an arm around your shoulders and gives your arm a rub. “But it’s over and done with now.” Barb ends the conversation and tilts her head over at the two of you so Janine and Gregory will cue in to end all talk of it. Barb gets her leftovers and joins you and Melissa at the couches. “Are you alright dear?” Barb asks you.

“Ya, luckily Melissa was in the library with me when it happened. I got PTSD when I heard gunshots. John and I were once hostages in a bank robbery back in Vermont.” You tell her and hear a gasp from Janine.

“I’m sorry dear.” She tells you as you take a bite from the chocolate bar.

“You were so strong.” Melissa says and places a kiss on your temple.

“Maybe it would be best to go home dear.” Barb suggests and you look at her.

“No, I think I’ll be ok.” You say with a soft voice and then nuzzle your head in Melissa’s neck.

“Baby…” Melissa starts.

“Hm?” You say but just keep your head on her chest and your eyes closed.

“Maybe Barb is right, you got a big scare today.” She suggests.

“You drove me here.” You state.

“Take an Uber home, Amore.”

“I’ll be fine for the last few hours. Besides, I don't want to be alone.” You say and she hums.

“Alright, if you’re sure. But if you need one of us then message us or come find us.” She says and you nod.

Near the end of lunch, Barb had to practically tear Melissa apart from you and drag her to her class as she didn’t want to leave you alone.

2 hours later…

“Ms. Schemmenti! Ms. Schemmenti!” A kid comes running to her classroom.

“What is it, Jaline?” She asks as she recognises the kid that was in her class last year.

“Something is wrong with Eva in the library right now. I don’t know what happened.” He says and fear runs through her body. Melissa immediately runs over to Janine’s classroom to get her to watch her kids who are doing math problems and then runs to the library.

Melissa gets to the library and sees you curled up on the floor, close to hyperventilating, and a few students hovering above you. “Ok kids, get out of here. Go on.” She tells them all and they all leave the library.

*5 minutes ago*

“Hey Jaline.” You tell him as he comes up to your desk to check out a book. You see the cover and see guns on it as it was about world war 2. When checking out the book you hear 2 kids talking about the lockdown and the robbery that happened.

When you look up to give the book back, you’re suddenly back at the robbery that happened in Vermont where you and your brother were a hostage. You look up more and see the guy with the gun pointed right at you and you start freaking out. You fall off your chair and you’re breathing fast.

Suddenly you feel a hand on your arm and you jump and go to pull your arm back. You look over and see Melissa there with a worried expression on her face. Whatever she’s saying to you is muffled even though she’s right beside you. She puts a hand on your back and starts rubbing up and down in an attempt to comfort you and you suddenly hear what she’s saying to you.

“Amore, hey, I need you to look at me and follow my breathing ok?” She says and you see her free hand moving around frantically and then it stills when she starts to do the breathing for you to follow.

“I- I can’t, M-Mel.” You manage to get out.

“Ok, Amore, name me 5 things you can see.” She tells you and you’re suddenly feeling lightheaded and you put a hand on your head to stabilise yourself.

“I- I see you, and… the carpet, library shelves, my desk and chairs.” You say and you see a small smile form on her worried face.

“Good good. Now how about 4 things you can touch?” She asked you.

“Um… well you, and th-the carpet, my desk and my legs.” You tell her and you feel the tightness in your chest start to loosen.

“And what about 3 things you can hear?”

“Well, your voice, and I hear kids in the hall, also cars passing by.” You tell her and you suddenly feel like you can breathe normally.

“Now 2 things you can smell.”

“Your perfume, and the library.” You tell her and then tightness in your chest loosens completely and your head stops feeling lightheaded.

“And last thing, 1 thing you can taste.” She tells you and you look at her and cup her cheek.

“You.” You tell her and pull her in for a kiss. You feel her smile into the kiss and when you pull back is when you see the worry on her face is no longer there. “And you taste amazing.” You say and she has a smile and a blush on her face.

“You know, you mentioned me in all of them.” She tells you.

“Well you capture all of my senses.” You tell her and she giggles.

“You’re such a lovable dork, you know that?” She asks you and you hum.

“Well it seems no matter how dorky I am, you keep saying you love me, so it’s gotta be true.” You tell her and she moves her hand that’s on your arm to around your waist.

“Are you ok?” She asks and you think about it.

“I am now.” You tell her and she looks worried again. “I’m alright, just got triggered is all. I should probably bring the book to Jaline. He needs it for a project.” You say and you go to get up but Melissa doesn’t let you go. “Mel, I’m fine now.” You say.

“But you weren’t 5 minutes ago.” She retorts back.

“Well I don’t know what you expect me to do.” You tell her with a huff.

“I wanna make sure that I’m with you if you get triggered again.”

“Well it’s not like I can just sit around in your classroom.” You say and you see a smile form on her face. “No, I'm not going to do that.”

“But it’s a perfect idea!” She states and you both get up.

“No, I’m not just going to sit around in your classroom while you teach.” You tell her and she crosses her arms and gives you the ‘you’re not winning this argument’ look. “No, I’m staying here and that’s final.” You tell her.

*10 minutes later*

You lean back in the chair at the back of Melissa’s classroom as she teaches a math lesson. She made you lock up the library, give her the library key and go straight to her classroom after giving the book to Jaline. Some of her students kept looking back at you and you just smile at them everytime. You let out a huff and you look back down at the book assignments that she gave you to grade. A few minutes later, you hear her heels hit the floor and you look up to see her walking to you.

“How’s it going?” She asks you and you’re still a bit annoyed that she convinced you to come to her classroom so you give her a glare and you don’t answer her. She leans down to your level and tucks a piece of hair behind your ear. “Is someone a bit cranky about not winning the argument?” She teases and you subtly flip her off and she just smirks at you. She then leans into you. “We can do whatever you want tonight and I can make your favourite meal. How does that sound?” She asks you and you lean in close to her ear and whisper.

“Does that whatever I want extend to the bedroom too?” You ask her slyly and she smiles and blushes.

“Why am I not surprised that the one during the lockdown wasn’t enough for you?”

“I have no idea.” You say with an innocent smile.

“We can do it when we get home but just know, I’m on top the entire time.” She whispers back to you.

“Hm, a beautiful woman on top of me and in charge? How can I say no to that? Deal.” You tell her.

“Perfect.”

“Ms. Schemmenti?” A kid says with a raised hand.

“I’ll be right back.” Melissa tells you and walks over to her student. “What’s up my little eagle?”

Just then the camera crew comes in and asks if they can pull you into the hallway for a few questions. Knowing what they might ask you, you sigh and get up and follow them to the hallway.

“What happened during the lockdown? Not much, I was in the library with Melissa when it happened. We just hid and stayed there.”

They then ask you what happened in Vermont as they caught the conversation in the break room after the lockdown.

“My brother and I went to a bank to get some money for something and then a robber came in and us, a few other people and the workers were held hostage for a couple hours.” You tell them. They end your interview and you go back in the classroom and they ask to interview Melissa.

You went back to work while they talk to Melissa. You hear a bit of chatter going on in the classroom but don’t think anything of it until you hear your name. You look up and see a few students looking at you then they look away. You realised that they were talking and gossiping about you.

“What are you guys talking about?” You asked and they all stopped and looked at you, a little nervous.

“Ms. Clarke, what’s the reason that Ms. Schemmenti had to run to you and why you’re here?” One of the students asked and you sigh. You know children are curious and something like this was going to come up.

Before you answer, Melissa walks in and notices all her students looking at you and you looking a little nervous.

“The fact that I don’t see anyone of youse working tells me that you’re all done.” Melissa says and everyone goes back to their math sheets. Melissa walks up to you and leans down to your level. “Are you ok?” She whispers and you nod. You don’t say anything and she gives you a sympathetic look and then sighs. “Alright, if you need anything then come and tell me right away alright?” She informs you and you nod again. She goes back to helping students or going to her desk and working on something there. She keeps glancing at you and you catch her a few times and you can tell she’s worried about you so you send her a text.

You: I’m alright, you don’t have to keep looking at me

Melissa’s phone vibrates on her desk and she looks at it then briefly glances at you before replying back.

Melissa: it doesn’t mean that I stop worrying about you, you’re my girlfriend, it’s part of my job to worry about you

She replies back with and you smile a bit before sending a reply back.

You: you’re sweet, also do you mind keeping those glasses on when we get home?

Melissa: what for?

You: I want you to wear them while eating me out on the couch

As soon as she read the text she immediately went red in the cheeks and looked at you and you winked at her.

Melissa: I think that can happen

She replied with then got back to work. Anna comes up to you at that point.

“Auntie Eva, are you ok?” She asks you and you smile at her.

“Ya I’m ok Anna, just got a little scared earlier because of the lockdown.” You tell her honestly and she gives you a hug before going to sit back down. Melissa looked at the scene with a smile, she knew your niece loves you deeply, from what she’s seen and how Anna talks about you. Melissa thinks you’ll make a great mother one day.

You can tell she kept thinking about your text for the remainder of the day as she kept re-reading the same lines more times than she needed to. When the bell rang, Melissa made sure all the kids were ready for their parents to pick them up right away as she could hardly wait to take you home. When the last kid got picked up, Melissa took your hand and started to run towards the car but got stopped by Barb and Janine.

“We just wanted to make sure you both were ok after today’s events.” Barb said calmly and Melissa sighed and you had to try very hard to hide a giggle. “Are you ok Melissa? You don’t look well. Is there something you want to talk ab-” Barb tried to calm her friend down but got caught off by Melissa.

“Yep I’m fine, got to go.” Melissa says and then runs off with you, still holding your hand. “See youse tomorrow!” She calls out to them.

When you get home, Melissa immediately tells you to strip and get on the couch. You obey and immediately take off your clothes and get on the couch. Melissa comes over and puts her glasses on and puts her hair in a ponytail before she reaches you.

“You look so sexy.” You tell her, a little breathless. She smiles and winks at you before she takes a pillow and puts it on the floor and puts her knees on the pillow. She runs her hands up and down your legs. “Can you be topless? I really like it when your topless.” You say and she giggles.

“Why am I not surprised by that?” She says and takes her shirt and bra off. She wraps her arms around your thighs and pulls you closer towards her. She immediately dives down to your clit and you let out a moan. You look down at her and see her ponytail moving with her head as she’s licking your clit and the glasses moved down to the tip of her nose.

“Why-why do you always look sssooo stunning?” You stutter out as your orgasm is building. You look and see her grinning while she eats you out. She then looks up at you and winks at you when she sees you looking at her. You’re then right at the edge and you grab her ponytail and start grinding on her tongue. “Omg Mel I’m so close! Don’t stop please!” You say and then you come a few seconds later all over her mouth and chin. She pulls away and looks at you with a smile.

“So you think I always look stunning huh?” She says with a smirk and you nod your head at her. “Well how about this stunning woman cuddles her breathtaking girlfriend before making dinner?” She says to you and you smile and nod your head.

“I’d love that.”

You both cuddle for about an hour before she gets up and starts making dinner. Friday morning comes around and you both wake up to your alarms and get ready for the last day of the week.

“I love my little eagles but I’m so glad it’s Friday.” Melissa tells you after you both get out of the shower.

“Long week?” You tease her and she rolls her eyes at you with a smile. “It’s been a long week for me too. Wednesday tired most of us out.” You say and you wrap your arms around her waist from behind and lay your head at the top of her back. Melissa leans into your touch before she starts blow drying her hair. “I say tonight we just order in and watch whatever you want to watch.” You suggest after she’s done with her hair.

“I don’t mind that suggestion.” She says. “How about we order some pizza and watch princess diaries?”

“I like that idea.” You tell her and then you both finish getting ready and then go to work. You walk into the break room, hand in hand with a smile on both your faces.

“What a gloomy atmosphere.” Melissa says as everyone else has a frown or looks tired.

“How are you both so chipper?” Jacob says as Ava walks in.

“Ya, did you two get freaky last night or this morning?” Ava asks and you roll your eyes.

“No, we are tired but it’s Friday and we’re going to have a relaxing night tonight before tomorrow’s craziness, which is Melissa’s family.” You say and Melissa chuckles.

“You got that right, my family is crazy.” She says and hands you a cup of coffee and gives you a kiss.

The day doesn’t go by fast or slow but instead average pace. By the time the bell rings you let out a breath at the fact the weekend is finally here. You lock up the library and head to Melissa’s classroom.

“Happy Thanksgiving Timmy!” Melissa says to her student as they’re leaving with their father.

“Ready to go home?” You ask her when all her students leave and she looks at you and nods.

“I’ve been ready since this morning.” She says and grabs her stuff and locks her classroom before heading out with you.

You both have a relaxing evening, you order pizza and watch both of the princess diaries. You then get ready for bed and fall asleep right as you cuddle with Melissa.

Taglist: @esposadejoyhuerta

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naushtheaspiringauthor · 1 month ago

Text

~Child Of The Storm~

Nikolai Lantsov x OC

Image by - @brokendreamtale2

Warnings- slight ptsd and mentions of scars

A/N- CHILD OF THE STORM IS BACK YALL. I am SO sorry for disappearing for like, three months life's been A LOT. There's only two three more chapters left until the fic's over. I cannot believe it's been more than a year. BUT there is something new coming up very soon (tho it would be a lot sooner IF I JUST FIGURE OUT HOW TO FIX THE DAMNED PLOT HOLE). Anyways, this chapter's a bit long so buckle in. And let me know if you'd like to be added or removed from the taglist!

Taglist- @pansexualwitchwhoneedstherapy @sirisuorionblack @evelyndane @marauders-wife @el-de-phi

Ch-65 ~and it was either going to make her stronger than ever~

Anaya stopped at the doorway. She took a deep breath before entering the ballroom.

The place was a massive hall with shiny golden walls and chandeliers that covered almost the entire ceiling. It was where all of the royal events were hosted.

And tonight, for Nikolai’s coronation, Genya had done a great job of making even the hideous Grand Palace appear endearing.

Even though Nikolai was supposed to be the centre of attention tonight, every head turned as Anaya went in.

Even Nikolai himself had turned to look at her.

“Great” she thought, not quite fond of the gesture. She’d already been late because she’d spent the afternoon working when she should've been preparing for the event.

She walked forward, her gown brushing against the laces of her shoes, a smile on her face.

She saw Genya and Zoya standing in a far corner, gesturing to her to come to them.

“Councillor Nasrazeen,” A man spoke up, blocking her path. “It’s an honour to finally meet you” he smiled. Though his narrowed eyes and raised eyebrow expressed how he was much more irritated to meet her.

“Duke Verensky” he introduced himself.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you as well, Duke Verensky” Anaya said, a smile plastered across her face.

“I have to say,” he began. “Ravka truly is changing its ways of working” He raised his brows. “Given how the Council is now being led by a Grisha woman”.

There it was.

When the news of Anaya’s position had reached the nobles, some had been intrigued as to why she’d become the Councillor. Others had simply refused to accept it.

“Surely you’re aware of all the events that have happened in our country since last year,” Anaya said, her voice unwavering. “Ravka is certainly seeing changes it hadn’t ever seen before.” She tilted her head. “And perhaps it’s for the best.”

But the Duke only narrowed his eyes further, “That we shall see” he gave a nod, walking away.

The coronation began shortly afterwards and lasted for a while.

Anaya glanced at the clock. It’d only been an hour since she’d arrived, and yet it had felt like an eternity.

The prying eyes of the guests and their never ending questions made her want to walk out the door, but she had no other choice but to stay.

“Why exactly did King Nikolai choose you for a position that holds such great importance?” One of the guests asked.

“I believe you would have to ask his majesty himself about his decision” She offered as pleasantly as she could.

“Still, if you had to think of a possible reason, what would you choose?” She pressed.

It’s probably because I don’t ask useless questions.

“It could be, as I’ve worked by his side during the civil war and because of my experience on foreign lands” She said.

“Surely you would need more factors than that to be worthy of running a country” the woman said, smiling.

Why don’t you run it instead.

Anaya forced her lips into a smile, “Duchess, I-”

“I deeply apologise for interrupting you,” Genya appeared by her side. “But I’m afraid I’ll have to borrow Miss Nasrazeen for a moment” she smiled and dragged Anaya away by her arm.

“How do I thank you for this favour Genya” Anaya let out an exasperated sigh as she went to the corner where Zoya was.

“By actually dressing up on time” Genya grinned as she rolled a single amber eye.

“That woman is a menace,” Zoya added, handing Anaya a glass of champagne.

“That I figured out” Anaya rolled her eyes, taking the glass.

“I have to say,” Genya glimpsed at her dress. “You do look good in blue”.

“‘Immensely endearing’ is the term I’d use” Anaya flashed a grin.

She lowered her voice“ I'm surprised how you managed to turn this hideous palace appealing ”

“What can I say” Genya straightened her shoulders. “I'm very talented”.

“Where is David by the way?” She asked

Genya rolled her eye, “He left as soon as the Coronation was over. He's very repulsive to social gatherings”.

“However do you deal with him” Zoya said, shaking her head.

There was a brief silence, filled by their similar thoughts.

“It's so hard,” Zoya sighed. “Pretending to be thrilled about all this, as if nothing happened”.

Anaya gave a single nod of her head. “That's what this all is” she lifted a shoulder. “Pretending to move on, getting used to the changes, acting along in the play”.

“Atleast Nikolai’s doing it a lot better than us,” Genya said, her gaze drifting over to where he was standing.

Anaya nodded in agreement.

Even after all he'd endured, he'd managed to keep the act going, playing the parts he was expected to.

She had no idea how he did it all, when she could do nothing to shake the feeling of her scars creeping over her, reminding her of how they came to be.

Slithering like thorned vines over her arms, her back.

The evening stretched on and the nobles continued to pester Anaya with their inane questions.

And she had no choice but to offer them and answer.

…………………………………..

Anaya stood near one of the tables at a corner, a glass of champagne in her hand. It was getting immensely difficult to get through the event without it.

She then noticed two of the grisha students silently creeping out with a bottle of champagne hidden behind their backs.

“And where exactly do you two plan to be going?” Anaya said, appearing behind them.

The Fabrikator and the Heartrender turned around hastily, trembling in fear upon the sight of her.

“Nowhere…ma’am” The Boy began, refusing to meet her gaze

But the Heartrender cut him off, “I actually needed some fresh air so I told him to go outside” She offered.

Despite being shorter, Anaya seemed to be the one looking down at them.

“And I suppose you also need the champagne to enjoy the fresh air” She raised an eyebrow.

“We-” The girl began, but Anaya's sceptical gaze stopped her from further speaking.

Anaya looked at them for a moment, “What are your names?” She said, finally speaking.

“I- Nestor Verakov”, ma’am” The boy looked at his feet.

Anaya's gaze shifted to the girl.

“Nina Zenik” she said, managing to look up.

Anaya sighed, “Fine go, just don't let the General see you” she glanced at Zoya who was surrounded by a group of First Army officials.

They barely nodded before rushing out the door.

Anaya sighed and went back to her corner before another noble could drag her off.

She looked around, taking a sip from her second glass.

“Going very fast on the champagne are we?” She turned to see Nikolai with a smile on his face. “I will need my Councillor to be able to work tomorrow you know” He walked to her side.

Anaya sighed, “Yeah yeah”.

“You know,” He stood beside her. “Even though it’s supposed to be my day, you’re the one gathering all the attention” He flashed a grin.

Anaya rolled her eyes, “These people ask the most inane questions” She shook her head. “I get people asking how I plan on bringing developments to the country,” She waved her hand. “But how am I supposed to know what kind of woman the new king would be willing to marry?” She turned her hand.

He shook his head in disdain but he was smiling, “Ah, the nobles” He tilted his head briefly. “They tend to do that quite a lot, you’ll get used to it”.

“Perhaps you should tell them that the King’s looking for a seamstress who plays the eighteen string Khatur”.

Anaya turned to him, “Why specifically the eighteen string?” She raised a brow. “Why not the twelve?”.

“I” He began. “am a cultured man Anaya” He spoke as dramatically as he could manage with the guests watching them. “The eight string is for uncultured fools, don’t you think?”

“I don’t know,” Anaya put her glass down. “I don’t have much interest in string instruments”.

He paused briefly then spoke, “I’d have to thank you for your advice” His voice was much lower and serious. “Really helped me get through all this”.

Anaya looked at him and gave the barest shake of his head, “Well I’m not one to offer advice,” She met his gaze. “But I’m glad I could help” Her lips formed a small smile.

……………………………………………

The topic had come up the previous morning. Anaya had been in her study, working, when Zoya and Genya had shown up to have tea with her.

“Nikolai doesn’t seem very thrilled about it,” Zoya had pointed out.

Genya nodded, “He appears distressed” She lowered her voice. “After all he’s endured, I’m not sure if he wishes to be King all the same.”

“But he has to,” Zoya said.

Genya gave a distant nod, pondering upon something. “Anaya” She turned to her.

“Hmm?” Anaya looked away from her papers.

“You should speak with him”.

Anaya furrowed her brows, “What why?”.

Genya picked up her teacup, “He needs someone to tell him that he doesn’t need to fret about being the King”.

Anaya looked at her with an utterly confused look, “Why me? Why can’t either of you speak with him?”.

She glanced at Zoya. “Well not her, but why can’t you do it”

Zoya rolled her eyes.

“I don’t…really speak with him” Genya said, hesitation lingering in her voice. “Given all that has happened”.

Genya had been pardoned only because of Alina Starkov. So there still was some hesitation between her and Nikolai. And Anaya had the feeling he didn’t fully trust her yet.

“Plus, he does seem to listen to you,” Zoya added.

Anaya raised her brows.

“He does, actually,” Genya agreed.

So Anaya had spoken with him.

Not the entire day. The only time she’d seen him was when she’d been walking down the hall with the Finance Minister.

When she’d been walking back to the Little Palace at night, then she’d seen him. Standing near the lake, almost irrecognizable.

"Nervous about the big day?" Anaya asked as she walked towards him.

He turned to her in utter curiosity. His gaze softened upon the sight of her, "Well yeah" he sighed. "It's quite weird".

He looked up at the night sky, the gleaming stars. "Even though I've been preparing for this my entire life, it still seems very daunting".

She stood next to him.

"It is understandable" she met his gaze. "I mean it's not everyday you get to be the King" she tilted her head. "It can be quite strange, when the moment you've been waiting, preparing for so long, finally comes". Her voice was low, the breeze on a summer night, making the trees waver gently.

"For a long while, it almost seems impossible".

"Improbable, actually" Nikolai lifted a finger, a corner of his mouth turned up.

"What?" She said, utterly perplexed.

"Nothing is truly impossible, it's only ever improbable".

She nodded briefly in amusement, "Well, alright".

The silence lingered in the air, gentle, comforting, a hand held in another.

“Is this what you wanted to do?” Nikolai spoke, turning towards her.

She furrowed her brows in confusion.

“To be the council leader, run the country?” He amended.

She looked at him, startled by the question but soon, her gaze softened. “Well, I’ve been certain for a long while” she looked at her hands. “That I wish to help the people, work for their betterment”.

“And if being the Councillor is my way to do it, then I’m content with this job.” She lifted a shoulder.

She turned to the sky, admiring the gleaming stars, the moon at the centre of it all, shining the brightest.

She could feel his gaze on her, lingering in the silence. She didn’t look at him, she didn’t believe she could.

“It’s not easy,” he finally spoke. “Pretending to be your best version, when you’re still picking up the pieces”.

“Isn’t that what we’re all doing?,” she said, finally turning towards him. “Pretending to be okay when we’re not?”.

He nodded, looking at the sky, appearing as if he’s reminiscing.

“You’ll make a great King,” Anaya’s voice wavered in the air.

He met her gaze, his eyes gleaming in the moonlight.

“Especially because you’ll have an immensely talented Councillor by your side” She lifted her grinning, a small grin playing on her lips.

He smiled, “That, I will”.

#nikolai lantsov x oc #nikolai lantsov fanfiction #nikolai lanstov x reader #nikolai lantsov x reader

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sunlightmurdock · 7 months ago

Text

this is your psa to just be a kind person and respect other people tysm

okay so after being subposted about a lot, I just wanted to clear some things up on my end because this was not random and I literally refuse to be made the villain here.

About a month ago, I was sent an anon about some similarities between my fic Blow by Blow and another creator’s series of drabbles. I messaged this creator calmly and we had a really nice conversation where we both agreed that lines get blurred sometimes and it’s easy to forget if you were potentially inspired by another fic you had read a while ago.

So, they had read Blow by Blow and still followed me at this point. But, they acknowledged the similarities and apologised. I was more than happy to continue with my life bc who cares.

Then, I received another anon about the same creator but about similarities between another of their series of drabbles and my fic Trouble in Paradise. I took a look for myself, and it was astounding. Upset, I blocked them. After a really upsetting day yesterday, I published that anon. I have since taken it down because exposing their name didn’t feel like the right thing to do at that point…

But, after they made a series of subposts last night claiming to have never heard of me or read any of my works, I’ve had enough to be honest. I have screenshots of this person in the likes of that fic. Even if they haven’t read the whole thing, they posted two chapters to their drabble Masterlist that were strikingly similar to chapter 1 of Trouble in Paradise, which they have liked and read. One of those chapters has since been deleted (I can only imagine why).

I reached out to them this morning explaining the situation and giving them an opportunity to talk to me, but they decided to block me instead, so here are:

similarities from the not stolen fic from a creator who has never heard of me or this work, theirs highlighted in purple while the original work (mine) is highlighted in pink. If you’ve read trouble in paradise, you may also spot some more underlying similarities. sorry in advance for the long post 🙄

so the premise of their drabble plays out exactly like the second half of Trouble in Paradise 0.1. reader is wearing the exact same thing. male mc is a stranger to the island, who on his first day has found someone exciting, happy and much younger. description of the bedroom is also looking eerily similar… they are both bartenders, who after a shift drive the male mc back to their place.

So in this realm, we can see that the dialogue is not only the exact same but once again, the reader is wearing the exact same thing and performing the same actions.

and here we have their Drabble ending the exact same way my chapter does, with the dialogue being nearly word for word the same.

I am not claiming to own the silly girl on an island trope, but after specifically speaking to this creator before about another one of my fics which had wayyyy too many similarities of theirs to be a coincidence, and them apologising, I thought we were beyond this. This creator then claimed to have never heard of me or my work.

I have screenshots of them in the likes of this fic, I know that they read at least the beginning, which is where the similarities start and end as far as I’m aware. Up until I blocked them, they had followed me for 11 months. This is the second time I have had an issue with them, after handling the first privately.

It’s really upsetting 1. not only to have had the premise of my stories rewritten by someone else but 2. for them to pretend that they have never heard of me when we have had conversations, and when I have screenshots of them interacting with my fics.

@devinedoll not really cool

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irwinsblender · 6 months ago

Note

hi!!! i saw your neurodivergent fic with ashton and absolutely loved it! this is totally okay if you don’t wanna write another one , but could you possibly write one about neurodivergent s/o and having a meltdown one day and he helps you through it and its very fluffy and cute:(

totally okay if not!!! i love your blog so so much:)

thank you for sending this in! i’m sorry for taking so long to get to this request! i slightly rushed this one because i really wanted to get it out and i’ve unfortunately been dealing with writers block again, so i apologise if it’s not the best.

—

meltdown

pairing: ashton x nd!reader

summary: things are busy when ashton comes home from tour and you get overwhelmed, but ash is there to help you through it

warnings: autistic meltdown, autistic overstimulation

word count: 3.5k

✩ ✩ ✩

for the most part, you handled your autism just fine. ashton had become used to it, learned what your triggers were and how to help you out of being overwhelmed from certain things.

however, there were still days that things became too much for you and even comfort from ashton didn’t always help at first.

today was one of those days.

you had been trying to stay positive for ashton’s sake, he came back from tour a mere three days ago. as much as you loved him being back home with you, it had shaken up your routine big time.

the same as when he first left for tour, you were uncomfortable for a few days while trying to navigate a new schedule without ashton being there. it took a while of phone calls and texts, trying to find a way for you to deal with the change. you got there in the end.

you’d hoped that when ashton came home, it would just be you and him for a while. you’d mentally prepared yourself for that to be the only change, having him back home within your schedule again. of course, things weren’t that simple.

the band had decided they wanted to continue making music whilst on tour, jotting down ideas while on the road, figuring they’d meet up once back home to do more writing and recording at the studio.

this meant a different thing happening every week, a different thing almost every day. it was a lot for you to get used to.

some days you’d wake up snuggled together with ashton, get up late, have breakfast together and enjoy each others company all day. other days, ashton would be up early, the guys would come over to work in the home studio, additions of other friends would be there to help with music. sometimes people you’d never met before would be there, catching you off guard. it was a lot to adjust to.

today was another busy day. you were woken up with ashton kissing your cheek, whispering that he loved you and that breakfast would be ready in the kitchen once you wanted to get out of bed.

you heard some noise not long after that, the front door slamming shut, lots of talking and laughter, what sounded like the tv in the living room, before footsteps going back and forth between the home studio and living room.

it was a good two hours before it stopped. that’s when ashton decided to come upstairs to check on you, to see if you were awake or not to let you know about new plans for the day.

he quietly walked inside the bedroom, seeing you were awake, laying on your side in bed with the blankets still covering you. he smiled softly, making his way over to you.

“afternoon, baby,” he kneeled down next to where you were. “how are you doing?”

“i’m okay,” you reached towards him, running your hand through his fluffy curls. “had a lot going on already today?”

“oh, yea, sorry about that,” ashton sighed, he’d hoped it hadn’t been bothering you. “i told them to keep it down multiple times, i didn’t meant to wake you up.”

you shook your head, telling him not to worry. “that’s why i wasn’t gonna come down until i knew they were all gone,” you shrugged. “knew it was the guys anyway.”

ashton stood up, sitting down on the edge of the bed next to where you were laying. placing his hand on your shoulder to run it up and down your arm soothingly. he took a breath, as if preparing himself for the next words to leave his mouth.

“we were thinking about going out for an early dinner tonight, if you felt up to it?” he asked.

“we? as in not just the band? me as well?” you needed to make sure that’s what he meant. on such short notice too.

“i know i'm not giving you much time, and if you don’t want to go, i’ll stay home,” he reassured, not wanting to leave you here alone. “it’ll be the guys and their girlfriends. that’s all. just a little post tour celebration that they thought might be nice.”

you didn’t say anything for a few minutes. thinking things over in your head. it’s still morning, you had until tonight to prepare yourself. it would be you, ashton, the guys, their other halves, everyone you knew. most likely at a restaurant you’ve been to multiple times in the past. it shouldn’t be too bad.

“where?” you questioned.

“that semi fancy restaurant in the middle of town,” he confirmed. “the italian place.”

“okay, um, sure, yea,” you hesitantly agreed. “just let me have a shower and then i’ll come down for some late breakfast.”

late breakfast, as in your routine is to get up, shower, then have breakfast. you always had a shower before breakfast, so that would stay the same today. you needed one thing in your schedule to be the same as it always is.

“are you sure?” ashton asked. not wanting you to feel like you had to do this.

“yea, it’s fine,” it really wasn’t fine. “just give me like… thirty minutes. i’ll be quick.”

“alright,” he leaned down, kissing your forehead softly.

after he left the room, you got to showering right away. finding your towels, undressing in the bathroom before switching the shower on to try and get it to the exact temperature you liked it at. warm, but not too warm. if it was too warm, it almost felt like it could burn, but if you felt any ounce of cold water you’d have to get out of the shower and practically start over.

once you finished up, you got dressed into your loose fitting jeans along with a plain brown tee which you left untucked. you picked up a pair of socks from your drawer, going downstairs with your hair still wrapped in a towel. it’d air dry by the time you have to leave for the meal out.

when you entered the living room, ashton had a warmed up croissant and a cup of coffee ready for you on the table, smiling as you walked inside. he patted the couch beside him, inviting you to sit down.

you sat there, unmoving for a moment as you took a deep breath in, calming yourself now you’re here and ready for this only part of your routine to be the same.

“thank you for warming this up,” you picked up your plate, croissant cut in half for you to eat.

it took a few times for ashton to remember, but if you were going to eat a croissant, it had to be warmed up. just enough for it to still be soft, not crispy. if any of it flaked off, or if you got crumbs stuck to your hands, you absolutely hated it. with it soft, that didn’t happen as often. you appreciated it every time.

“of course, baby,” ashton sat back, holding his arm out for you to lean against him.

you started to eat your croissant, ashton’s arm around your waist while you leaned on your side, always happy to be close to him like this. although, with time ticking by, your mind couldn’t help but focus on the event happening not so far away.

“how loud was it in that restaurant last time we were there?” you asked.

“the music is normally pretty quiet,” ashton reassures you. “and the time we booked is normally quieter than later on, so it should be okay.”

you went quiet again, ashton was for a second before sharing an idea, “we can bring your headphones just incase—“

“no, no, it’s fine,” you shook your head. “i don’t like having to wear them in front of everyone, it’s embarrassing.”

“baby, it’s not embarrassing,” ashton sighed, sitting up to look at you properly. “it’s nothing to be ashamed of, it’s okay for you to need them to help make sure you’ll be okay and not get overwhelmed.”

you knew he was right, but it’s still taking you time to warm up to wearing them around your other friends. there’s nothing wrong with it, it’s just hard at times.

“i’m sure i’ll be fine.”

ashton accepted that you wouldn’t bring them, hugging you softly before he stood up, “i’m gonna go get changed,” he told you. “i’ll be down in a while.”

that while definitely went fast, as well as the time flying by before you’d be having to leave the house. your hair was dry, having been out of your towel to air dry for long enough. ashton was dressed, hair with his curls hanging slightly over his forehead, wearing black jeans and a button up shirt.

you’d be leaving for your early dinner in around thirty minutes. you had become slightly worried for this meal. you didn’t want to ruin things if the environment was too loud, too busy. that had happened too many times to count, and as much as ashton tried to tell you it didn’t matter, you felt like it did.

sat in the car, you couldn’t help but fiddle with your hands, watching where you were driving to. you knew the restaurant well enough, not entirely sure you wanted to be going there.

when you reached the parking lot, you didn’t move. you didn’t reach to take off your seatbelt, didn’t go to open your door. you sat bouncing your right leg up and down after seeing the amount of cars around you. why was it so busy, it’s not normally this busy.

ashton placed a hand on your knee, stopping it from bouncing as much, caressing his thumb back and fourth for comfort. you looked at him, chewing on the inside of you lip in the process.

“it’s gonna be loud in there, isn’t it?” you had a fearful look on your face, ashton sighed

“maybe we should go home,” ashton suggested. however, you shook your head. you weren’t about to let your autism ruin everything again. “why don’t you wear your headphones, baby, it’s what they’re for.”

he reached to the backseat, holding the headphones you’re sure you told him not to bring.

“everyone will stare, ash,” you leaned your head back against the headrest. “just— i’ll be fine. i’ll be fine.”

he took one last breath, nodding his head as he placed the headphones down. he was first to get out of the car, walking around to your door to open it for you. he took your hand after locking it, starting to walk over to the restaurant.

the second you stepped foot in the door you could hear how loud it was. music laying, almost completely full. a long table filled with people celebrating a birthday party. they were causing most of the noise. why today of all days.

ashton squeezed your hand, making you look at him, you could feel your heart pounding in your chest as you took more and more steps through the restaurant, finding the table where the band were already sitting at.

you didn’t greet them, didn’t even look at them, you couldn’t focus, your mind was racing. they understood that you didn’t deal well with loud noise or busy spaces, so this was not ideal for you at all.

the waiter brought everyone over some glasses of water, asking if you needed more time to decide on food. ashton answered for everyone, telling him you’d need more time.

you stared in front of you, whoever was there you were too overstimulated to care about that at this point. you were about to take a deep breath, when the loud noise of a group starting to sing happy birthday to someone at the table behind you started.

that was the last straw.

your hands started to sweat, your vision becoming blurry as tears welled up in your eyes. you couldn’t handle this. why did you ever think you’d be okay after so many things in your life changing over the past week. you had to get out of here, you couldn’t take it anymore.

“i can’t— i can’t be here,” you whispered, voice almost breaking. “i have to go.”

you frantically got up from your seat, trying not to lose your balance as your legs carried you to the door leading to the garden area at the back of the restaurant, hoping it would be quieter out there.

thankfully, it was, closed off to the public for whatever reason. you didn’t care right now. there were tears streaming down your face as you paced back and fourth on the wooden deck, hands locked into your hair as you tugged at the strands. something you did when you were way too overwhelmed.

you were mumbling to yourself, incoherent sentences that even you didn’t understand. your mind was racing, barely in control of your own actions.

it wasn’t long before ashton appeared outside to find where you were. seeing you, he walked over cautiously, leaving space as you continued to pace, the tugging on your hair getting worse as you cried out. he didn’t make any sudden movements, sitting himself on the seat nearest to you.

“i shouldn’t have suggested coming here, i'm sorry, baby,” ashton apologised whether you could hear him or not. “your headphones are in the car, and there’s a weighted blanket in there too.”

as he spoke, your mind started to calm, ashton was the only person who had ever been able to get you to settle in these situations. however, you shook your head as your feet slowed down for you to almost stop walking back and fourth.

ashton held his hand out in front of him, giving you the option to take it when you were ready. you managed to remove one hand from your hair, placing it in his. he squeezed softly, trying to give you some pressure to focus on.

“it’s okay, love, we’re gonna get you home, okay?” he calmly spoke. “can you give me your other hand? i don’t want you to hurt yourself.”

your hand tugged a couple more times, eventually you calmed enough to stop. but you didn’t place your hand in his, instead you took a step back, causing him to release your other hand. all you did was hold your arms out, making grabby hands at him. your way of asking for a hug when you weren’t able to verbally ask.

he stood immediately, slowly and gently wrapping his arms around your shoulders, resting his head on top of yours as he held you tight. you placed your arms around his torso, feeling his body enveloping you was one of your favourite feelings, one of the only things that could help make you feel better.

ashton felt your chest rising and falling at a fast speed, knowing you still needed some time to calm down. sometimes it took a while, sometimes it would be fast. he wasn’t sure how today would be.

“can you breathe with me, sweetheart?” he asked. “in and out, feel what i’m doing.”

as he took the first breath in, holding it for a few seconds before releasing, he thankfully felt you copying soon after. taking as many deep breaths as he did. when he realised you didn’t seem to be calming down, he knew he’d have to try and get you back to the car.

“we should get you back home, baby,” ashton kissed your head, letting go of you to take your hand instead.

he pulled you along with him, around to the front of the restaurant where the car was parked. he opened the door, helping you inside. leaving your door open, he found your weighted blanket in the back, grabbing it out to bring to you. he draped it over your legs, pulling it up to cover to your shoulders.

he rushed around to the drivers side, wanting to get back home as soon as possible. the drive was stressful, he knew it would be. you cried, gasped for air in your state, it pained him that he even brought you out. he rested his hand on your thigh above the blanket until you were pulling into the driveway, knowing you’d be inside soon.

“we’re home now,” ashton switched the ignition off, turning to you. seeing you were much calmer than before. “ready to go inside?”

you nodded, letting him wipe away a few tears from your cheeks. he helped you out of the car and up to the doorstep, unlocking the door in front of you. walking to the sofa, ashton helped you to sit down against the pillows, getting you comfortable before doing anything.

“do you need anything, baby?” ashton asked, kneeling down in front of you. “your headphones? or i can get you one of my hoodies to put on too?”

you didn’t reply for a moment, but nodded your head, not speaking. but he’d asked two questions, about to ask if you meant the headphones or hoodie, when you answered quietly.

“hoodie,” you mumbled.

ashton stood, rushing upstairs to find your favourite hoodie of his. he brought it down to you, helping you to pull it over your head and slip your arms into the sleeves. he adjusted your top underneath, making sure it wasn’t twisted or caught up in a way that would make you feel worse again.

finally, he sat down next to you, pulling you to lean back against his chest with his arms wrapped around you. your weighted blanket covering you, keeping your mind occupied with the feeling, ashton squeezing you helped too.

you sat in silence for a while, not sure how much time passed, but it was more than it normally is. a mixture of ashton having to leave for tour, and then him coming home from tour to make more music, all causing your routine to change too much for you to cope with.

ashton felt bad. he always hated when you became overwhelmed like this. he hated it even more that he felt it was his fault. he knew how you were with your schedule, and yet he asked you to come to dinner anyway.

you started feeling better, ashton never letting you go until you told him to do so. you leaned your head back to look up at him, smiling softly. he leaned down, pecking your lips a couple of times.

“i’m sorry,” you apologised. mostly for ruining dinner but also for the way you reacted.

“baby, you don’t need to apologise, there’s nothing to be sorry for,” ashton shook his head. “after so many things going on since i came home, i shouldn’t have asked about going out, we should’ve stayed home.”

you shrugged. you didn’t want him blaming himself. it’s not his fault that you get overwhelmed over the most simple things. he shouldn’t have to change the way he does things because of you.

“you got home, made some music,” you started quietly. “not a lot has happened really.”

“we’ve talked about this, my love,” ashton tucked your hair behind your ears. “it’s okay if anything becomes too much, i don’t mind taking things slow until you’re used to me being home again.”

“you shouldn’t have to.”

“but i will,” he told you. “as long as you need, it’ll just be me here from now on, whatever you need or want to do, just let me know, okay?”

“okay,” you mumbled.

you turned onto your side, snuggling up to ashton beside you. he kissed your cheek, holding you as close as he could. he’d do anything to make sure you’re okay, he just wished he’d realised from the start that he should’ve waited longer for you to adjust.

“how’re you feeling now?” he asked.

you shrugged at first. still not feeling like yourself. mostly tired, exhausted from being overwhelmed with too many things going on.

“how about we watch a movie?” ashton suggested. “try and distract yourself a bit more.”

“tangled?” you asked.

“course, baby,” ashton shuffled himself, reaching for the tv remote.

he knew you’d pick that movie, he would put anything on for you if it meant you’d feel a little better. tangled always made you feel better, one of your teenage comfort movies which carried with you as you got older.

as soon as the movie started you were fully engaged with it, fiddling with ashton’s hand in yours at the same time to give you more to do. your weighted blanket helped too.

you leaned your head on ashton’s shoulder, feeling tired after a while, closing your eyes. you let out a breath, finally letting yourself relax.

ashton looked down at you, glad to see you were finally able to get some rest. he kissed your cheek, noticing you’d dropped his hand into your lap, clearly having fallen asleep quite fast. you needed this and he’d let you sleep as long as you needed with him here.

“i’m sorry for today, tomorrow will be better, i promise,” ashton whispered. “i love you.”

✩ ✩ ✩

taglist: @hexsdexs @conspiracy-ash @oliviah-25 @superbloomrry | if you would like to join my taglist, please comment here or see this post

#5sos #ashton irwin #5sos fanfic #ashton irwin fanfic #ashton irwin x reader #5sos x reader #ashton irwin fluff #5sos imagines #ashton irwin angst #ashton irwin imagines #5 seconds of summer #ashton irwin fic #ashton irwin imagine #5sos fic #5sos imagine #irwinsblender writes

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mountttmase · 2 years ago

Text

A Mountain To Climb - Part Ten

Note - just want to apologise for the last chapter 😂 but thank you all so much for talking to me about it I’ve loved hearing what everyone thinks. I hope you like this chapter too and feedback is always appreciated

Pairing - Mason Mount x Reader

Word count - 3.4k

Warnings - series will contain fluff, smut & angst

Masterlist

The pain you felt was the same pain you told yourself you’d never feel again. It was everywhere, you head thumping, as your heart raced. Your skin hurt to touch and the sadness was emanating from deep in your tummy to the point you felt sick.

It was Sunday, and you were still heartbroken about everything that had happened. He hadn’t tried to reach out to you once and you hadn’t dared trying to speak to him considering how angry you’d made him. Each time you pictured his face you began to cry, knowing how much you’d upset him hurt you more than anything he’d said to you.

You’d barely slept since you’d got back early that Saturday morning, distracting yourself with anything you could think of so you wouldn’t think about what had happened. In the end you deep cleaned your whole flat until it was spotless, rearranging some of your furniture and lighting some new candles so everything felt a bit calmer and welcoming.

You hadn’t slept much that night either, finally falling asleep with your air pods in so you could listen to a podcast and not your racing thoughts and when morning came around, you struggled to leave your bed. It was just gone mid day by the time you made it out and even though your tummy was crying out for food, you couldn’t bring yourself to eat and chose to take a quick shower instead.

You caught sight of yourself in the mirror as you stepped out, small bruises forming on the sides of your hips bringing back the memories of his hands all over you so you quickly got wrapped up in a towel and changed so you didn’t have to see them anymore.

You were antsy for most of the afternoon, not knowing what you should do to distract yourself and when your phone started ringing, your heart almost leapt from your throat thinking it was Mason, but instead you saw it was Freya. You weren’t sure if it was better or worse it being her knowing you wouldn’t be able to keep your composure up with her.

‘Hey Frey’ you answered, your voice wobbly and you bit your lip to try and keep the sobs back.

‘Oh baby. I was just calling to check you’re alright. I take it you’ve seen it’ she told you with a soft voice but you were instantly confused.

‘Seen what?’ You uttered, confused as to what she might be referring to but the tone of her voice made you think you might know who it was about.

‘Max’s post. You sound upset I thought you’d seen it’ she told you and you quickly put her in loudspeaker before pulling up his instagram. You knew you should of blocked him a long time ago but you could never bring yourself to do it. You clicked on the newest post and your heart stopped as you took it in, a shocked gasp falling from your lips but you weren’t upset at all, you were angry.

‘Well that’s just fucking brilliant’ you laughed bitterly and you could tell she was about to speak when there was a knock at your front door. ‘Um I’ll call you back in a sec Frey, someone’s at my door’ you told her and after a quick goodbye you pulled your front door open to reveal a nervous Mason. He couldn’t of picked a worse time if he’d tried and your heart hammered as you looked at him.

‘Hey’ he breathed but you didn’t reply or move a muscle which caused him to shuffle uncomfortably. ‘I uh, I was just bringing your stuff back that you left at mine’ he told you quietly, handing you your bag full of clothes and other bits you’d left at his for Saturday when you were supposed to of gone to his after Bens. ‘I was hoping maybe we could talk?’

‘I don’t think so’ you told him, placing your bag on the floor and averting you eyes to the side of him.

‘Please Y/n’

‘No I don’t want to’ you mumbled, your lip trembling as you tried to hold yourself together but you being firm with him.

‘Why are you being like this?’

‘Cause I don’t need this, and I don’t need you. So why don’t you go back to your nice house with your nice friends and your nice life and just leave me out of it’

‘You don’t mean that’

‘Oh I really do Mason’ you told him sternly, your anger bubbling to the surface and even though it was nothing to do with him, you needed someone to take it out on. Still hurt from the words he threw at you the other day and upset with yourself from the way you’d treated him. Everything now coming to a head and you couldn’t stop the words streaming from your lips. ‘I never asked for any of this. You were the one that kept on at me even though I told you I didn’t want friends and now look’

‘I was trying to help you’ he fought back, his hands balled into fists at his sides but you were seeing red.

‘I’m not some poor thing that needs to be saved, s-some project for you to fix. I was perfectly happy before you came along and I’ll be even happier once you piss off out of my life again!’ You shouted, tears flowing down your cheeks before you slammed the door in his face.

You fell to the floor, sobbing your heart out into your hands as you pulled your knees up to your chest. You weren’t sure how long you sat there for, finally letting out all of your emotions after a long weekend of stress. Your throat was sore, your brain aching and your chest felt like it was caving in. The only persons comfort you wanted was the same one you’d just sent away.

Your phone started ringing again, and you crawled over to see Freya calling you back, but you didn’t have time to compose yourself before you answered and she heard you sniffles and cries as you answered with a hoarse voice.

‘Y/n? Are you alright, what’s happened?’ She asked and you sobbed a little bit harder. ‘Oh baby, take just some deep breaths it’s alright’

‘It’s n-not. I’ve f-fucked everything’

‘You haven’t. Max was a piece of shit he’s really not worth getting this upset about’

‘It’s not h-him. It’s Mason’ you cried, sobbing again but you willed yourself to calm down so you could speak to her properly. ‘I’ve ruined e-everything’

You heard the FaceTime coming through and you quickly accepted even though you knew you looked like hell and Freya’s sympathetic pout only confirmed this.

‘Oh honey, what’s happened? Talk to me’

‘I did what you said’ you laughed ‘I took a chance and I kissed him’

‘And that’s bad?’

‘What’s come after is yes’ you huffed ‘we sort of slept together too’ you told her shyly and her eyes widened at your response. ‘But I freaked out and left after. He caught me on the way out and flipped out at me. I really hurt him Frey’ your voice breaking and she gave you a sympathetic look.

‘I’m sure things aren’t as bad as they seem, he probably just said things in the heat of the moment. I’m sure if you give him a few days to calm down you can explain’

‘That’s the thing though. He just showed up and I sent him away’ you sobbed. ‘Told him I didn’t need him in my life. What the fuck is wrong with me? All I’ve ever done is push him away and when we finally get somewhere I can’t handle it’

‘Y/n I’m so sorry, I wish I could give you a big hug’ she told you. ‘I’m almost done with my exams yeah? Three weeks and I’ll be back for the weekend and I’ll help you put it right okay?’

‘Okay’ you hiccuped, thankful she wasn’t being hard on you.

‘Just try and get some sleep or something yeah? Call in sick tomorrow if you have to’ she laughed and you smiled for the first time in days.

You didn’t call in sick, but you did request to work from home for the next few weeks as the thought of leaving your house filled you with dread. In reality it probably did you more harm than good so on the third week you were back to your office, and even though you still felt awful it felt good to get some air and be back in a routine.

You avoided anything Mason related at all costs, not checking up on the games or stalking his instagram but you always caught yourself thinking about him and if he was going okay. Was he as sad as you were? Did he regret meeting you? Had he given up on you like he’d told you? You didn’t want to think about the possibility of that but you saw no way of the pair of you getting passed what you’d said and done at this moment in time.

It felt like a lifetime before Freya was dragging her suitcase up to you flat and enveloping you in a hug you so desperately needed.

‘Right I want you to start from the top’ she told you as you sat on the sofa, and you huffed before getting into it telling her exactly what happened. From the game of spin the bottle all the way to running out of Bens front door. She was looking at you sympathetically but you knew that’s not what you needed right now.

‘Frey, I think I need some tough love. Can you just tell me how awful I’ve been please’ you laughed and she shook her head.

‘Tell me what happened when he showed up here?’

‘He had my bag that I’d left at his. I was supposed to be spending Saturday with him at his but that obviously never happened. He asked if we could talk and I basically told him no, that I was fine before he came along and I wanted him to leave’ you sighed

‘But that’s not true is it’

‘No’ you sobbed and she pulled you into her arms.

‘Why’d you do it love? Why are you trying so hard to fight him off?’

You didn’t have an answer for her really, you felt like you’d overused the expression I’m scared but it was how you felt. You’d told yourself you didn’t want anymore friends and never wanted a relationship again yet you’d let Mason into your life

‘I don’t know. Maybe I like to self sabotage? It’s like I’ve finally found someone I feel like I can take a breath around and I ruin it for myself’

‘You can fix this, y/n. He came to to try and make it right that’s got to mean something’

‘I don’t know if it’s too late for that’ you sighed. ‘I was angry at the whole Max thing and he turned up at the wrong time’

‘Do you wanna talk about Max?’

‘Not really’ you laughed and she sat up with a determined smile.

‘Well I’m not gonna let you sit here like this all the time. So here’s the plan’ she told you, wiping your eyes before you load you head on her shoulder. ‘I’ll let you be sad for tonight, but tomorrow I’m taking you out, we’ll get our hair done, nails done, maybe a cheeky facial if we’ve got time. Then we can go shopping for something to wear when we go to dinner yeah? Then we can drink to our heart’s content and nurse each other back to health on Sunday’

‘Sounds like a plan’ you smiled, thankful you had her around.

Even though she’d given you permission to be sad, you didn’t want to ruin her weekend here so you kept yourself in a good mood. She made sure you got an early night and in the morning the pair of you were the first appointments in the hair salon. You were considering doing something drastic but Mason always told your he loved your hair as it was so you were reluctant to change anything. After a chat with the stylist you settled on some extra layers and a few highlights towards the bottom and even though it was subtle you felt like a new woman.

‘Oh hello’ Freya winked as she saw you, and you whistled at her as you caught sight of her new hair.

‘Hello yourself’ you laughed as you touched her much shorter hair. ‘This is gorgeous I love it’

‘Yeah, I thought it was time for a change’ she winked before walking off to pay for the pair of you. You promised you would pay when you got your nails done but the longer you sat the the more unsure you were of what colour to pick. Blue was an obvious no no, red made you think of the jumper you wore when you met him for a walk and green bought you back to the skirt you wore the night it all went wrong. In the end, you settled on black as it reflected how you felt and the pair of you laughed and chatted away the whole time, all thoughts of Mason in the back of your mind.

‘Facials shouldn’t take long then we’ll get lunch yeah?’ Freya told you as she led you into a fancy beauty spa where you were poked prodded and smoothed out until your skin felt as good as new and you finally started to feel yourself again.

‘Where are we going for dinner tonight?’ You questioned but Freya as you sat eating lunch but she was giving you a coy look.

‘It’s a surprise, but it’s fancy as fuck so we need something classy to wear?’

‘Are we talking classy classy, or sexy classy?’

‘Sexy classy, obviously’ she tutted whilst rolling her eyes before you attacked the shops. Freya ended up choosing a black strapy dress with corset detailing but you were finding it much harder to choose something. You weren’t feeling dressy at all and and everything you tried didn’t seem to work for you so you told Freya you’d find something at home.

She sat with you at home until you’d picked out something you liked, choosing wide black trousers and an off the shoulder top which was far more reserved than you usually went for but you weren’t in the mood to be showing loads of skin.

Freya didn’t lie, the restaurant you were in was probably the nicest place you’d ever been in and you didn’t expect any less from the part of London you were in. The pair of you tried to behave but Freya seemed to be on a mission to make you laugh and by the time you’d finished your food you were so thankful for her coming to help cheer you up.

‘I’m just popping to the loo and we’ll go she winked, quickly slipping off and you used the time she was gone to check your phone. You weren’t sure what for, you only ever heard from Freya and Mason when things were different so you weren’t surprised to see the only notification waiting for you was from just eat.

Your eyes wondered up, taking a glance around at everyone until they fell on Mason, sat opposite a head of long blonde hair and your heart fell into your stomach. Thankfully Freya was was back but she caught onto your glossy eyes immediately.

‘Hey, what’s happened?’

‘Can we just go’ you whispered, scrambling to get your stuff together, trying to avoid looking at him again but you couldn’t and Freya followed your line of sight to notice him immediately.

‘Fuck’ she breathed grabbing your hand instantly and pulling you through the maze of tables. You knew you shouldn’t but but chanced a look back at him slyly, not expecting his eyes to be looking back into yours and you choked back a sob as you looked away quickly.

Freya pulled you to the taxi rank, waiting for one to pull up and your eyes were on the restaurant door as Mason appeared outside, head frantically looking around until he spotted you and made his way over.

‘Help’ you panicked but a taxi pulled up at just the right time and you slid yourself into the back seat.

‘Just wait here yeah? I’ll talk to him’ she told you and you had no time to protest as she turned to face him. You had no idea what the pair of them were saying and you were glad you couldn’t hear his voice as you knew you’d only cry even more if you could.

She was quick to slip back inside the taxi, gripping your hand the whole way home and even though you wanted to ask what was said you kept quiet. It wasn’t until you were both tucked up in bed with your head resting on her shoulder that you asked her what had been said.

‘The girl he was with? That’s Bens sister, it wasn’t a date, love. He was on a table of four and Ben was sat next to her on the other side’ she told you and relief flooded your veins. ‘He really wants to talk to you’

‘I feel so stupid’ you laughed

‘Look, it’s none of my business but as your best friend you know I’m about to stick my nose in. You can’t live in fear forever just because of what’s happened in the past. Not everyone will treat you like dirt and I should be living proof of that you know? There are good people out there babe and I know he made you happy. You carried yourself differently, you spoke with a smile and yeah it might not work out how you want it to but that’s life sometimes. Please don’t deny yourself happiness because of what if’s that really is no way to live’ she told you softly and you nodded gently as hot tears rolled from your eyes, her words finally sinking in. ‘You do want him don’t you? Just be honest with yourself’

‘I do, yeah’ you croaked, nodding your head as your tears fell into your lap. ‘I really miss him’

‘Good cause that’s what I told him’ she laughed and your head shot up to look at her.

‘You what?’

‘I know you, y/n. You don’t let anyone get that close and I know you know you’ve made a mistake that you have to fix. You want to fix it right?’

‘I do, but…’

‘What, love?’ She asked you gently, squeezing your hand for a bit of support.

‘I feel like I’ve pushed him too far. Like I’m scared to talk to him in case he brushes me off’

‘Do you think he would of run after you tonight if he didn’t want to talk?’ She told you gently and all you could do was shrug your shoulders. ‘Look I’m not saying you have to go off tomorrow and get him back. If you need time then take it but I promise you he’s ready and waiting for you. He told me as much’ she laughed and you felt your heart rate speed up. ‘The only reason he’s not spoken to you yet is because he didn’t wanna push you. He’s waiting till you’re ready’

‘Even after I shouted at him when he came here?’

‘Even after that’ she told you, resting her head on yours. ‘He knows you pretty well too, he knows your scared’

‘I think I’m ready now’ you laughed, your voice still thick with emotion as you cuddled into your best friend.

‘I so proud of you’ she told you gently and you gave each other a big squeeze, knowing you were potentially at the end of all this.

‘Thank you Frey’ you whispered and she gave you a quick kiss on the forehead before the two of you snuggled down, sleep taking over you quickly tonight as good thoughts of Mason filled your head.

Tagged: @alwaysclassyeagle @ricsaigaslec @cinderellawithashoe @vip-access @majx00 @chelseagirl98 @mountpulisic @chaotic-taco-collector-blog

#mason mount #mason mount story #mason mount series #mason mount smut #mason mount blurb #mason mount fluff #mason mount concept #mason mount imagine #mason mount fanfic #mason mount angst #mason mount fan fiction #mason mount x reader #mason mount x y/n #footballer x reader #footballer x y/n #a mountain to climb series

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slytherinshua · 11 months ago

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AIRBAG CANT SAVE US

genre. angst. breakup. warnings. some language. fighting. crying. mention of drinking. angst. hwiyoung is kind of a jerk in this, reminder that this is just fiction-- it's not meant to accurately represent the real idols. pairing. hwiyoung x reader. wc. 1.1k. request. no. a/n. based off of drive5 if it wasn't already obvious... uhh sry in advance for this????? i promise i love hwiyoung idk why i wrote this lmfao

“You’ve changed, Youngkyun.” You mutter tensely. Youngkyun always has the aircon set 2 degrees too cold in his car, and a shiver runs up your spine. You always hated the cold, yet despite that, you had stupidly fallen for him. He’s like a block of ice, yet no matter how much you tried to melt him with your warm heart, he stayed chilly.

Youngkyun grips the steering wheel a bit tighter, flipping on the left turning signal and turning onto the highway. His foot pushes on the gas slightly as he matches the speed of the other cars on the highway. He still doesn’t respond to you.

You let out a shaky sigh and look out your window, “Did you ever love me? Why did you ask me out a year ago if you never intended on paying attention to me in the first place?” You wait for a second, wondering if that would get him to utter even a word in reply— even just a hum that he had heard you.

But, no. He’s always the same. Stuck up in his own world, self-obsessed and unfeeling. You wonder how his friends even put up with him? It’s as if he had no thoughts or feelings. Even when you tried to discuss something that directly affected him, he didn’t even care enough to listen.

“I don’t even know why I agreed to date you. You’re such an asshole.” You tell him through gritted teeth, a bit louder this time. “I hope whatever poor girl you ‘fall for’ next drops your ass before you have the chance to brutally misuse her like you did with me.”

Again, he stays silent, spiking your nerves just a bit above the limit. Your eyes sting with tears but you blink them back. You won’t cry because of him. He doesn’t even deserve that much. You hear him take a breath, and you turn to look at him, wondering if he’ll finally say something back to you.

“If you had so many problems with me, then why did you decide to date me?”

You hate that response. You hate how calm he is when you’re about to reach your breaking point. You hate that he doesn’t have the decency to at least apologise to you before he spews more of his nonsense. It’s like a stab straight through your chest. If he had ever loved you, even for a second, he would at least apologise for upsetting you before interrogating you.

“Oh, so it’s my fault, is it?” You let out a laugh, and it’s filled with disbelief at his actions. “It’s my fault? I was holding our relationship together for months while you went out drinking and paid no attention to me! I always held out hope that one day you would treat me the same as when we first met. But since January I’ve never seen even a speck of feeling in your eyes. Is it amusing to see me try so hard!? Do you find joy in my struggles to get this relationship to work— only to inevitably fail cause it will never work out with just one of us trying?” You spew, letting all your built up frustration flow out, hitting him like bullets. You were sure he had already built a repelling force field around himself to block you out; one that would only make the bullets bounce back to hit you.

“You wasted your time trying to get it to work.” He whispers.

“I wanna get off.” You breathe out, feeling like the doors of the car were slowly closing in on you. It was suffocating being in the same cramped space with Youngkyun, where everything just brought up old memories.

The necklace that you had gifted to him was still hanging from the rearview mirror. He had never worn it. You realize in an instant that him hanging it there wasn’t a compliment to you. He never wanted it in the first place.

“We’re on the fucking highway, Y/n.” He points out, as if you weren’t capable of noticing that before.

“Just pull over and let me out here. I’ll get a fucking taxi.” You spit back angrily.

“Shit, you’re so impatient. You can wait 5 minutes for me to reach this exit.” He says angrily, somehow pushing your anger up even more. You let the first tears slip down your cheeks. You hate being around him in this way. You feel like he’s slowly ripping you to shreds— limb by limb, leaving you broken beyond repair.

You do your best to stay silent and not let your muffled crying reach Youngkyun’s ears. It would be too humiliating for you to bear. The 5 minutes it takes to reach the exit feels like 5 hours. Youngkyun pulls over to the side of the road, stepping on the break harshly. You jerk forward slightly, and wonder if he’s doing it on purpose. You open your car door in a rush, trying to get out as soon as possible, but you feel him grip your wrist. You turn back around and stare at him, eyes burning to take in his features one last time.

“I’m not the only one who changed.” He says slowly before letting go of your hand. The blaring honks of cars behind you is almost deafening, some of them trying to find a way to get past Youngkyun’s black car blocking the road without causing an accident. You get out of the car and slam the door shut without another word to him.

It takes a second to register your reality. You stand still on the sidewalk for a few minutes, breathing in the crisp cold night air and letting the tears fall freely. You don’t know how far away from home you are, but you know that you’re not in any hurry to get back. You just soak in the moment. You were done with him— finally, you were free from him. You wanted to laugh, but it just came out as harsher sobs.

If he hadn’t changed, would it have worked out?

If you hadn’t changed, would it have worked out?

You stare up at the sky, sniffing your last tears away. It’s dark and a mesmerising blue; it’s beautiful. You wonder if Youngkyun was also looking at the night, contemplating how cruel it had been to both of you. Though, with a scoff you realize that he wouldn’t care. This would all pass by for him like it was nothing, because it had already been too long to recall the last time he had cared for you.

↳ sf9 taglist: @eternalgyu

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yelenasdiary · 1 year ago

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I hate that I am making this post but I am simply making it for the others to be aware of this particular person.

Below the cut there are mentions of suicide, nothing explicit but just a heads up x

Please know I am not making this to humiliate this person or cause them any harm, this is simply for others to be aware and to be able to lookout for themselves!

I’m not 100% confident on their name but they have used Alice before, but again, can’t confirm if this is actually their name. But I can confirm that the person I’m talking about has in fact done the same thing to another person & I can only imagine there are others.

This person gets a kick out of seeking help from others. They will tell you how sad and depressed they are, they will send you detailed messages on how they want to hurt themselves or how they have currently hurt themselves then suddenly stop replying, leaving you to worry and hope they are okay.

They’ll return a day or so later and apologise over and over how it wasn’t fair for them to put that on you and within minutes the conversation will shift and return to how depressed they are etc.

I started talking to this person around late March, I noticed rather quickly how odd I thought it was that they would message me around the same time every night. Thursday & Friday nights around 9-10pm, sometimes on a Saturday. They would then deactivate their blog out of nowhere or without a word and come back a week later acting like a different person but the story and detailed messages were the same.

Eventually they deactivated once again and I didn’t hear from them for a few months then 2-3 months ago I received an anonymous ask stating they were going to take their life and so on. I could tell this was the same person from the detailed information in the ask and decided to ignore it and reply to another ask of theirs asking them to kindly leave me alone. I blocked them and the next day I received asks saying that I had killed a girl.

“She reached out to you and you ignored her” etc etc. Of course I didn’t believe this at all so I blocked and deleted the asks. This person has shown me before how quickly they can become angry if things don’t go their way. They got upset with me once because I didn’t agree with them on their opinions on the police force and how they handle at risk people.

Then last week on Tuesday night, after I finished work I saw I had a spam or asks on my side blog (sokoviansecret) saying they hated me and what not, at first I didn’t think it was the same person and just another troll but the more asks I read after replying to 2 of them I knew it was them.

I told them that I wasn’t buying into their behaviour and to call a helpline if they seriously need help. On Wednesday night I came home from work to a spam of 20+ asks from 6:30pm to 7:45pm saying how a “Sydney girl was found dead by family” and that messages between me and then had “leaked” and that it was my fault that they “took” their life.

This is the second time this person has done this to me. So I again, told them I wasn’t stupid and I knew that they were not dead that they need to stop using this as a way to gain attention. I also mentioned that if they didn’t leave me alone for good I would take things further. I blocked them once again and I didn’t hear anything until the other night when somebody reached out to me with a screenshot of an ask another blog received.

“Yelenasdiary killed a girl

She had an OD she’s dead”

This is where I gave up. This person is now trying to tell people I am responsible for the death of somebody who isn’t even dead. Unfortunately I am not the only person this has happened too. I’ve had another person reach to me and tell me their experience and they confirmed the one of the blogs they were contacted from is the same blog I was contacted from.

The blog is now deactivated but if you ever spoke to a blog under the names: introvertedmoths, wandamaximoffspuppup or hellhoundskiss please know that everything they said was nothing but a lie. These are the 3 blogs that I currently know of and unfortunately I don’t know what their current blog is.

This person lies and abuses your trust. I never ever want anybody to feel the pain and suffering I do so of course I wanted to help and be somebody they could count on to be there for them but when I noticed it was all for their benefit, for the attention, I had to stop. They’re made because I stopped, because I don’t believe a single word they say.

If this person sounds familiar to you or you think you’ve experienced this person, please don’t let their behaviour have any effect on you! They are a sick individual person who needs help, help we can no provide.

Please be safe and look after yourself & others.

I’m sorry again to make such a long post but it seems tumblr won’t do anything and I refuse to let this person make me out to be a cruel individual.

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konigsblog · 6 months ago

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Hi Orla! ☺️

I hope you’re doing okay. I’ve been seeing a lot of hate on your page recently and I’m sorry about that. :(

Especially with the recent one you just responded to. Like what?? How could someone sit down, type that out, then submit it like they actually know you? I don’t understand how people can be so ignorant. It’s not even ignorance at this point, I just cannot find the words for it.

I’m sorry you’re dealing with all these people, honey. It’s sucks so much. It baffles me that people cannot just block you or filter their content and just continue on with their life. Instead they have to come in your inbox and ruin your mood.

I hope you know that you’ve got supporters here! And that we love and appreciate you vv much, my beloved. It sucks that there’s so much negativity, but I hope messages like mine can help you get through it! 🫶

Anyways, how has your day been, my love? What did you eat today? Have you been drinking enough water? Did you do something you enjoyed today? I hope you did.

Sending you a big hug and plenty of kisses along with good vibes! I love you vv much, my gorgeous Orla! ❤️❤️

~Berri 🍓💕

hello, my sweet berrie !! :33 🫐🍓 i appreciate your lovely words and your constant support and kindness. i guess it's just frustrating to see people so... evil? there isn't a word to describe how i feel about these people, but i don't give them too much thought. i enjoy writing, and what i choose to write doesn't make me disgusting, insane, or immoral.

a lot of the hate i receive is the same old insults, occasionally someone will send a death threat or similar to that, and other times it's bait. i try to focus on the amount of support and how people wait for my uploads, it's motivating to know that people care and that i'm not alone, especially when i have people insulting my brain and saying 'i have a few screws loose'.

i love you guys a lot, your support and motivation is endless and it means a lot to me, especially since nowadays i'm receiving more and more hate from daft twats that can't read a tw. i'll never apologise for the content i write, ever. there is no apology for it, because it's not wrong. if they don't like it, they can leave, and they said that they had me blocked, but still decided to come back. doesn't that show a level of obsession? that despite having someone blocked, they're still on your mind? i wonder if these people have a hobby outside of shaming writers. they'd be better off shaming people that create porn websites, where real rape tapes/videos are uploaded.

my day was alright, boring, but not that bad. i was pretty tired, i crashed later in the day which explains why i didn't upload earlier. i'll try to get a couple of posts out once i catch some sleep, since it's currently four in the morning and i'm unable to sleep from my nap earlier... i did eat, and... i think i should probably get some water... 😅 i'm horrible for remembering things like water. 🥲

sending you lots of love, my sweetest !! i really do appreciate when people reach out to me, i'm thankful that people care :') 💗

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16th-of-a-twigg · 1 month ago

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wip wednesday:)

tagged once again by @liberalk1tsch 🫡 I've been casually working on and off again on a Princess Diaries 3 fic for the last 2 and a half years. Majority of my writing these days has been for my Hugner Games fic - but a random scene for the Princess Diaries fic did pop into my head earlier this week: (While covertly at the beach back home in SF, Mia stops to drink at a beach side shack.)

Coasting her drink Mia watched the ice clink around and briefly looked up when a staff member came over to collect glassware from the table beside her. They locked eyes. Oh shit. “Mia -” Mia abruptly stood up, conscious of how public but sparse the area was. It was close to closing anyway. “Please - stop. Please wait!” Mia shifted as Lana reached out in a pathetic attempt to block her path. The pair of them were hyper aware of the moment. “I won’t make a scene. Please.” Okay, now Mia was confused. A please from The Lana? The girl who made her teen years at school a living hell? She would have gladly enjoyed life remaining blissfully unaware of what present Lana was doing. And the girl also had said she wouldn’t make a scene. This seemed unbelievable. “What do you want Lana?” Mia said with a bite to the edge of her words. “To apologise!” Mia paused. Huh? She watched as the self assured and always correct Lana seemed to falter over her words. At Mia’s silence Lana continued, “I know… I know during school I wasn’t friendly nor kind to you. And I know it must be hard to believe and you don’t have to accept it, but I want to apologise for my behaviour.” She bit her lip and gushed on, “I was jealous and afraid of losing so many things that at the time seemed important. It doesn’t excuse any of my actions but looking back now I’m really ashamed of how I treated you and many others.” Mia looked her up and down and then at the bar of her employment. “Are you saying this because you want something from me?” “No!” Lana exclaimed. “I just.. I want to say I’m very sorry. You didn’t deserve that.” Mia suddenly became conscious of how many potential hiding spots there may be for paparazzi to pounce from. Surely Lana had called them and this was all an act to stall. Lana read her mind, “I haven’t called anyone. No papz.” “Hard to believe.” Lana looked ashamed. “You’re free to go. Just.. I’ll make you a drink tomorrow - on the house! If you get home safe tonight.” “Why wouldn’t I get home safe?” “I meant without a media incident! I swear I haven’t called anyone! It’s just … I’ve seen how they’ve been treating you. It’s unfair…” Mia bit her tongue. Lana would know all about unfair media attention thrown in Mia’s direction - having orchestrated several. Without saying another word, Mia gave her surroundings one last glance before giving a single stiff nod, tugged her cap more securely over her hair and walking off into the street. I'm tagging @reineyday , @imm0rtal-idi0t again 😘😘 (if you want to)

#lucinda tries to blog #tagged games #princess diaries #the fic is mainly centered around the films but I have looked into and taken some elements from the novels here and there #i do know that Lilly and Mia break up at some point and Lana steps up so idk to what extend i wish to implement that here #this part may be scrapped altogether #who knows 🙃#i think when i started writing this fic i was heavily inspired by the netflix show the crown and wanted to put a freshly anointed Mia #through the horrors 😈

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werewolfnick · 2 years ago

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Before I get started, I wanted to give @intothedysphoria credit for this because he was the one to think of the Billy Hargrove Autism Acceptance and Harringrove Autism Acceptance tags. I wanted to give it a try and give Billy some of my autistic traits. This might be a one time thing because I don’t know if I’ll be able to keep up with it for the entire month simply because I’ve found writing while attending a uni semester challenging.

So, welcome to my potential one-time autistic Billy Hargrove fic. Hope you enjoy.

~~~

Billy always felt like he had to mask his autistic traits and tendencies. Wasn’t allowed to show them, otherwise he would get called weird, get into trouble or to get over it. But it never really stopped him from sometimes accidentally letting his autism slip through the mask.

Today was one of those days. He couldn’t keep his mask up. Everything was just setting him off. The few people who were sniffling, the people whispering behind him, the tag on his shirt that he forgot to cut off, the person beside him was constantly picking at their nails. It was driving him mad.

No one had ever picked it up, yet Steve knew Billy was hiding it. He watched as Billy’s leg bounced up and down. Steve knew Billy was having some sensory overload.

Billy held his hands over his ears, attempting to block out the noises, but the sniffling still managed to get to him. He couldn’t deal with it anymore. It got to be too much. He got up from his seat and walked straight out of the classroom, not explaining where he was going.

“Billy, where are you going?” the teacher asked, “Billy?” She was about to go after the student, but Steve got up from his seat.

“I’ll go after him, Ms,” he said. Following his footsteps, Steve walked out of the classroom. He already knew where Billy would be. The toilets. He always ended up in the toilets. Steve began walking the toilets. There was a little bit of a distance between the classroom and the toilets, but it was something Steve was willing to deal with.

He knew this was Billy’s way of attempting to regulate again. So, walking into the male’s toilets and seeing Billy sitting on the floor, back against the wall, his knees against his chest, head against his knees, hands still over his ears and sobbing silently. Steve already knew what to do.

He walked over to Billy and sat down in front of him, crossing his legs and put his hands in his lap.

“Hey Billy,” Steve said, softly, “Are you having a sensory overload?” While he already knew the answer, he knew it was better to hear it from Billy. Billy nodded at the question.

“Is it ok if I give you a hug?” he asked, “Or are you not feeling ready for physical touch yet?” Billy shook his head.

“That’s ok,” Steve said, “Let me know when you are ready. But no pressure.” Falling silent, Billy and Steve just sat. Steve wanted to give Billy the space he needed to regulate himself.

Billy kept his head in his knees and his hands over his ears, still silently sobbing. He needed to let it all out. With every deep breath he took, he felt slightly more relaxed, yet it would take him a solid twenty minutes to regulate and calm himself.

A solid twenty minutes that Steve didn’t mind waiting. Billy lowered his hands and lifted his head, wrapping his arms around his legs. He didn’t make eye contact with Steve. He always struggled with eye contact, but Steve didn’t mind.

“I’m sorry,” he said.

“Hey, don’t be sorry,” Steve said, “It’s not your fault. Your brain is just wired differently to mine and everyone else's. You don’t need to apologise for a sensory overload, ok?”

Billy nodded. Steve was the only one that understood or seemed to understand. The only one to take the time to understand what was going on in Billy’s brain.

Billy uncrossed his arms and straightened his legs, reaching out his arms towards Steve.

“Are you ready for a hug?” Steve asked. Again, already knowing the answer, but he wanted to hear it from the male first. Billy nodded at the question. Steve moved into a crouch position and moved closer to the male.

As gently as he could, he wrapped his arms around Billy. Billy did the same thing, his grip a little bit tighter than Steve’s. If it wasn’t Steve, Billy wouldn’t feel accepted. All it took was one person to understand for Billy to not feel like a complete outcast and unwelcomed.

#billy hargrove #steve harrington #harringrove #billyhargroveautismacceptance #harringroveautismacceptance #billy antis dni #pro billy hargrove

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emmathorne · 2 years ago

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Just a vent abt a bully

Hello, I’m going to complain!

My better judgement says sit on this quietly and smile the grumpiness away, but frankly I always feel better getting my fed up thoughts written out, and Tumblr is the quiet place we vent to, so here we are.

Anyone who cares enough to pay attention will know who I’m talking about, but for those who don’t (and for the sake of this being pure venting, not some kind of beef starting or mob building), I’m going to refer to the gentleman involved as “John” in lieu of his real name. If you don't know, it doesn't really matter because he is not the only person like this out there, and you may be able to relate.

This week, John, a big figure in the sceptic community, who commands a lot of respect and has a large following gathered over many years, was, in my opinion, quite rude to a friend of mine. He was rude, dismissive and pretty condescending, and this took place publicly. Said friend is also a creator- smaller than I am and much smaller (as we both are) than John. My friend reached out to John for clarification on something, and was overly polite with pleases and thank you’s and consideration. Whether they were just in a super nice mood or they chose to be careful because John has a reputation for getting angry over minor things, I don’t know. All I can say is they were very polite.

John is like a bear, we admire him and adore him for his incredible skill and power, and when he swipes one of us with his claws we all laugh or apologise and bow down to him because that’s “just how bears are”. What I've learnt is to accept that's how bears are, and that I feel happier and safer staying out of swiping distance, because I don't deserve to get clawed.

John was curt and rude and all the things I mention, and my friend clapped back (something I have always felt is perfectly reasonable. Someone is stinky to you, you shouldn’t be expected to be super kind in return). At this, John flew off the handle, called them several names and blocked them.

A lot of people saw this and had the same reaction I did: ‘wtf did I miss’, because it seemed quite an absurd overreaction. I added onto the conversation, because that’s my friend and I go into defensive mode when I see a bud treated unfairly. I make no apologies for this.

I too was overly polite (something I almost regret in hindsight because of John’s attitude throughout) when I suggested that this was a little over the top, that he was surely fair to be irritated at my friend’s sarcastic comment (again, as a retort to John’s attitude I think it’s fine, but it makes sense for John to be annoyed by it), that twitter often gets the worst of us, and an apology would surely be accepted. I also remarked that if he felt a comment was a waste of his time, it would probably be better to ignore it than fly off the handle.

I admit I’m often out of the loop on mainstream sceptic activists and creators, partly because my content is quite varied outside of that, so I didn’t realise how naive it was to think that polite compassion and understanding would reach John and that would be that. After the fact, I’ve been told by lots of folks: audience; creators and behind the scenes community members alike, that John has been this aggressive and reactive for a number of years now. If I’d known that, I perhaps would have just marked him down as someone I wasn’t interested in talking to and quietly removed him from my various feeds. Alas.

He responded to me in the thread, essentially telling me to go away, take my own advice and ignore him, he didn’t ask for a lecture. Surely yes, nobody asked for a lecture- but someone was stinky to my friend and that’s not the sort of thing I want to ignore. It didn’t completely make sense, it was very ‘heck off i can do what i want’, and I was pretty surprised.

I started to wonder if there was some context I was missing, that maybe something had happened between John and my friend before that made John particularly sensitive to their questions. A while ago, John added me on another social media app. So I reached out to John privately.

You fool. I know.

I sent John a message essentially (politely, I must add) asking if there was some context I didn’t know about, why he had behaved in such a bullying manner, and hoping that we could come to some more compassionate understanding.

His response was more or less: Wow!!! You’re going to say I DID A WRONG THING? Prove it!

The entire discussion went like that. It was cyclical and frustrating. There is a type of person (and I’ll say I’ve only experienced this from men, not that it’s a rule, but John fits a certain “type” of older, righteous white man that I find most frequently guilty of this tactic) that turns every conversation, especially if they are criticised, into a debate. Even a private chat about behaviour and feelings, in this case, became an intellectual debate.

I have experienced this many times, and I find it to be a method pseudo-intellectuals use to belittle and ‘win’ against people that aren’t able to articulate as well as they are. Every infraction was a point that had to be proven with evidence, and if he could counter it with his debate tactics, it meant he had ‘won’ and couldn’t have done anything wrong, ever.

This was a conversation about how he had been rude to someone on twitter. I explained what was rude, that I was not the only person who considered it rude, and his only retort was to continuously demand proof. John is an excellent debater. I am not, I don't debate, and while I know that there is some value to certain kinds of debate, I often question their value. Being good at debating and being right are entirely separate things, and so I don’t generally allow myself to be bullied by this tactic. I had told him what was rude, and that was that.

He demanded to know exactly who and where others had called this behaviour out, and I allowed a cheeky retort of my own! Of course in hindsight this is exactly what he needed to satisfy his status as the victim of my evil, deceptive tactics (all in the name of trying to understand why he was mean to my friend. What a sinister agenda I had!). I replied that I could easily ask him to ‘research’ for himself instead of ‘wasting my time’- because this was the complaint he directed at my friend who had asked him for clarification. It was a direct parallel of something he had said, with the intention of pointing out how absurd that was. I added that if he genuinely needed me to screenshot people calling out his behaviour, I would do so.

We went on for a bit in circles with this proof demanding, accusing me of dishonesty (I asked him outright what was dishonest about anything I said, and I still don’t fully understand. I believe it’s the fact that he kept hounding me for ‘proof’ that his behaviour was rude, which is a pretty weird stretch), and ‘name calling’. (The name calling is because I said his behaviour was bullying. I also later called him childish, which I hope you can understand given what i’ve explained so far. I maintain that to be true).

He continued getting angry and being aggressive about proof, including about me not being the only one to think he was out of order. I reminded him I'd offered him screenshots, and he basically said that I was clearly being sarcastic. I told him I wasn’t, that he’d assumed that out of nowhere- he was angry about that too. I had literally said “if you genuinely need me to-”. I included the word ‘genuinely’ and he still made it my fault that he thought I was being sarcastic. Except because John can’t be wrong, I had been sarcastic, and I guess just hadn’t realised it or was lying about it? Perhaps that’s where the ‘dishonesty’ thing came from. Who knows.

I shared some screenshots of people agreeing this was rude, which is pretty ridiculous I know. It’s bebo era schoolyard stuff. If he hadn’t demanded proof that he was rude and I wasn’t the only person in the world who thought so, I would never have thought to, but it seemed to be necessary. Of course, I was wrong about that too. It was only the case if they had MESSAGED him. That was all that counted. Of course he knew that I wasn’t going to be screenshotting his own inbox, so why he only told me this after the fact remains to be seen. He had demanded who and where, and then told me the who and where I presented didn’t count.

John was like this throughout. Incapable of being wrong in even the tiniest way, but treating me like I was a stupid, dishonest kid who was mistaken and crazy about every single thing I said. Even when it contradicted something he’d said earlier, it turned out I was wrong about that. I should have known psychically that tweets don’t count as people calling him out, that I was definitely being rude and sarcastic when I explained I was being genuine. I was wrong about every single thing.

Along the way, one of John’s gripes was that my friend, after the conclusion of the tweet thread, had joked about this being great publicity. I think it’s a funny way to try and make light of someone with a huge fan base being an ass to you. John decided that this meant my friend was only “in it” (conversation with him? Content creation in general? Unclear) for the publicity and he hates people like that. In my opinion, that’s a ridiculous stretch. To take someone’s jokey ‘getting a positive out of an awkward situation’ and make it into their entire driving force in all they do is absurd, and any reasonable person would see that. John is not reasonable.

In case you are one of the folks who, like John, thinks that joking about someone being mean being great publicity is actually terrible (as I saw some of his fans agreeing, in that slightly tragic bootlicking way where they agree with everything he says whether it makes sense or not), I’d like to remind you that everyone was fine with me making the same joke out of Kent Hovind giving me publicity. The only reason it’s suddenly bad when it happens as a result of John being an ass, is because they want to have some reason to vindicate him.

John used the publicity joke my friend made as an excuse as to why he didn’t need to apologise for anything. I considered that fallacious, not just because of the above where he’s viewing something silly in absolutely the most uncharitable way possible, but because that came after the fact anyway and had nothing to do with John’s initial rudeness. The idea that you can’t be cheeky or joke about someone who has already been a complete ass to you is tone policing, at least in my opinion. At the very least it doesn't change anything to do with John’s part in being rude as hell in the first place.

In our private conversation, I attempted to empathise with John- this was also wrong and got me chastised. Something I’ve seen him and his followers explain is that he gets tired of answering the same questions time and again- understandable after so many years of doing the exact same thing. I experience this too, and gosh I’m really grateful to have a varied range of content I engage in, even if it makes me a bit more niche. If I spent 20 years getting angry in debates over the same things, I'd probably go crazy too.

Anyway I attempted to empathise with John on this, telling him I understood how frustrating that could be and so on (again, I have experienced this myself, so I felt it was reasonable to empathise). Because it was a debate and he had to ‘win’ against everything I said, this was also terrible of me for ‘pretending to understand him’ or something, even though he also said that yes it was true. I guess his claim was that it wasn’t relevant to this, which doesn’t make sense and frankly I don’t believe. It doesn’t really matter, I could have said the sky was blue and I’d have gotten a lecture on how wrong I was.

I had mentioned creator size to John, because he was someone with a huge following publicly dissing someone with a relatively very small following. Something that I’ve adopted from a lot of the most conscientious creators I watch is the idea of not ‘punching down’. In general I do not think it’s responsible to do things that might mobilise a large audience to target someone at a much smaller level who doesn’t have the resources or experience to cope with a high level of abuse. The ‘punching down’ discussion has nuances that I’m not going to waste time on here, and it’s something people certainly disagree on, but my personal belief is that you should adopt a level of care when talking negatively about a much smaller creator. John disagreed with this. He called my consideration of creator size a "fallacy". I don’t know if that’s even vaguely correct, but I am not the intellectual that John is, so who knows. I think it’s relevant. He doesn’t.

This led to an awkward part of the conversation that I feel uncomfortable recalling even now. He subsequently asked me if I was a smaller creator. I told him that compared to him, yes certainly, but larger than my friend. He said that in that case, he would leave it there. While I am grateful he took my feelings on audience size into consideration despite disagreeing with it, I find the subtext really uncomfortable. The suggestion is that, if I hadn’t been a smaller creator, he would not have left “it” there. What is it? Putting me on public blast? I didn’t ask. Maybe it was an overreaction, but I found that a little threatening, so I ignored it and moved on. I don’t want to know what he might have said or done if I had identified as a large creator or someone at his level. Forever grateful to be niche, hah.

I was really ready to end this confrontation now, because it was more than clear that John was never going to accept being wrong about anything, that he was going to be as rude as he damn well wanted and if he was called out on it, he’d deny it righteously till he was blue in the face, and I either gave up, or admitted being a terrible person with a nefarious agenda.

I got through a last tirade about me being dishonest and fallacious and so on, all the same things I've mentioned. He concluded with a very brief nice comment about some of the content he’s seen from me. So I responded that it was interesting, because I thought some of his arguments were fallacious too. I said there were things we’d clearly never agree on, but I wished him the best with his work and hoped he continued to do good activism. I had a glimmer of hope that we were actually going to end on neutral, polite terms.

His response was to go back to demanding proof, in the same rude and combative way he had been all along. Eye roll.

At this point, I was 100% done and it is hopefully clear to anyone reading that I could not have done or said anything that would ever change his mind, so I said goodbye and blocked him. End of. Or not?

Cue a very “2010’s internet drama” maturity level post from John about an unnamed ‘dishonest, name-calling whiner’, aka me. I assume the ‘name-calling’ + ‘whiner’ thing was intended as irony? Or perhaps he’s just that lacking in self awareness. Either way, it’s a deeply frustrating and upsetting thing to read from someone you know is so respected in the community, who people idolise. I was sitting there wondering how many of my own followers were liking and retweeting that statement without knowing it was about me, and certainly not knowing how utterly ridiculous the entire interaction was. All of this because John was rude, and unable to acknowledge it. He’s got a critical debate-bro condition.

Despite his anger at this suggestion from me, I really think that John must have some serious sensitivity around being challenged, criticised or asked questions about his words. Many people that live in this angry, debate-centred world for so long do develop ptsd-like reactions, or genuine anger problems. I’m not in a position to diagnose anyone, these are just some of the thoughts I have trying to rationalise and understand John’s behaviour towards me, my friend and anyone who has dared criticise him or even ask him a question on the wrong day.

I heard in hindsight from many people who had been talked down to, belittled, blocked etc for minor things, and even similar cases of John going off the rails at something minor involving people far kinder and more intelligent than me- so at least I don’t feel this is a totally personal slight. I am bugged about it, clearly, but I feel fairly comfortable that I did the best I could to resolve things rationally and compassionately, and that the issues at the heart of this nonsense are problems with John and not me, nor my friend, nor any of the other people who have experienced this. John is a very "no, it's the kids who are wrong" type.

If I had to be in the room with John for a function or to engage with other people, I’d do so and be perfectly polite. But I do not want to work with him. I certainly do not want to speak with him. Right now I prefer not to see him on my timeline- I've hidden one channel that I like because seeing his face on my YouTube screen was making me uncomfortable (that I’m sure will pass quickly though, I just like to give myself comfort wherever I can, especially with what I do bringing confrontation and hate to my attention more than I’d like).

As much as this has sucked a fat one, I don’t regret anything. My friends come first, and I will always stick up for them. Maybe this loses me access to some of the ‘big names’ in our community. I hope not, but I consider it worth it either way. The ‘angry atheist douchebag’ phase is something that I think a lot of us go through, especially when young or deconverting, after some religious or family trauma etc. It can be a very natural part of the process. Should that be the face of the sceptic community? Hell no. We’re very fortunate to have a lot of smaller, developing channels with more diverse voices and a kinder attitude, alongside the playful snark and ribbing that we love. I’m curious as to how someone attains that kind of idolisation, where their fans can call him their favourite, despite having only had negative interactions with him (real comments I have read in response to this).

People can be kind of assholes and still do great work. Often, I think people like John miss out on important topics and ideas (I’ve certainly seen him do this on shows) because of their quick reactions and jumps to negativity and their swift putting down of anyone who might have a slightly different opinion that him, even if they didn’t know that before they, say, called him on a show. I do genuinely hope that he continues to do good work, and I respect what he’s built. I understand that people love watching him ‘throw down’ and that can often be satisfying. I enjoy seeing people who deserve it get a swift talking to. I don’t enjoy seeing people who are trying to learn, improve themselves or bring a different perspective being treated with equal meanness. I disagree with his methods and attitude, and I personally am not interested in watching him. I can’t imagine watching him on a show after the way he’s spoken to and about me, all because I dared to question his rudeness.

So that’s it. I’m a little hurt and quite frustrated, but I feel I’m frankly in good company with people who have faced the wrath of John. I’m trying not to feel too stupid in the wake of being belittled over all the ‘fallacies’ and general debate bro bollocks that were thrown at me. Emotional intelligence is also a real thing, and not everyone has it. Mine isn’t perfect, but it’s certainly better than John’s and I am grateful for that. I’d rather be willing to make mistakes and learn and treat people with compassion than be able to ‘win’ every argument. I’m also glad not to be the sort of person that gets outraged over minor things every day, continually alienating people in the process.

Long live the silly lil guys.

Thanks for listening to my vent. I feel better already.

#vent #cw vent #personal vent #personal thoughts #just rambling #sceptic community #atheist community

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catmansquad · 1 year ago

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(Excerpt) "Indulgence"

"Would you go out with me tonight...?" (Miguel X OMC)

He had run behind at work, only by fifteen minutes, but it had put him into a frantic mood. Struggling to shove the last of his uniform into his rucksack before hurrying out of the locker room, bidding his colleagues good night and straight out into the street. He still had to get home, changed into something far more fitting for a night out. The pigeons scattered from the rooftops, the dog was barking frantically at the window again, he cast his eyes to the roof, watching a familiar superhero free running the rooftops, almost in step with him. ‘Sorry, not tonight, big guy!’ He called out, rounding the block and watching him perch on the edge like a neon gargoyle, head tilting. ‘You look like you’re running late.’ Came the low growl of a response. ‘I am! No offence, but you’re just making me later…’ He started a brisk walk again; aware he was being followed still from the upper level. ‘An appointment to keep?’ The voice was intrigued, Spider-man stopped at the edge of the current building, clawed toes curling into the stonework. ‘You promise not to get jealous? I’ve got a date tonight- with a normal guy-, and I’m running behind…’ He wasn’t sure how to interpret the silence that followed. But no response came as he unlocked the block door and stepped inside.

He was freshly showered, and had fought with the ironing board against his own haste to make sure his shirt and trousers were crease-free. The scent of cologne followed him as he ran the comb through his dark hair, hearing the softly knock on his door. Perhaps he had made too much noise with the ironing board and the neighbour under him had come up to complain. He would apologise, hopefully try to charm them with his excited nervousness of his impending date. He did not expect to pull the door open and find Spider-man standing there, hand raised like he was about to knock again. ‘No, look I- how did you get in this time?’ ‘The roof access isn’t locked.’ A chill thought whispered through Alex’s logical mind, he briefly wondered how the Superhero had found this out. Had he been in the block before? How much more of Alex’s life had he scoped out? His thoughts broke as the Superhero adjusted his stance, massive arms reaching up to grip the top of his doorframe and leaned into it, like he was posing to show off his muscles, and that impressive shoulder-waist ratio. ‘… I told you; I can’t play tonight. Maybe tomorrow, hmm…?’ He kept his tone teasing, running a finger gently down the side of that masked face and along the broad chest, curling it back into his own hand as he saw the larger man’s breathing pick up. ‘I’m holding you to that, cariño…’ ‘You keep calling me that, I don’t speak Spanish.’ He heard Spider-man chuckle breathily under the mask, releasing his grip on the doorframe to stand up straight and held out one clawed hand to him. ‘You’re running late? Let me help you get there quicker.’ Alex made sure his keys and phone were in his pocket before pulling the door shut and locking it behind him, facing the Superhero with a smirk. ‘At least you’re using doors now. Don’t crease my clothes.’ ‘If it were me, I would have them on the floor, mm?’ The journey had been uneventful, although he had garnered quite a few stares from passer’s-by, and even some of the restaurant patrons stopped to stare out the window as Spider-man landed cleanly, letting Alex slide off his back at last, and patting down his clothing to chase away whatever creases he had gained clinging on for dear life to the Superhero. He really hoped Miguel wasn’t among the witnesses, that was all he needed. Although, he decided, in fairness it would give credit to his tales. ‘Thank you, my hero...’ He rested a hand against that masked face, watching it be clasped by one of his own, leaning into the touch with a gentle hum. Alex’s eyes glanced back and forth, there were crowds already gathering, phones were already flashing, they were going to be all over the internet in record time. ‘… People are staring…’ He whispered in a breath, watching that expressive mask narrow. ‘Let them. I want them to know.’ Despite his words, and perhaps sensing his distress, Spider-man swiftly released his grasp, letting his hand slide through those gloved fingers. ‘I’ve got this. Enjoy your date with the regular, weak, normal man. Heh…’ Came the breathed chuckle before the crowd gasped as the Superhero moved swiftly, leaping straight up, followed by the lenses of every phone camera. As Spider-man swung down the street, Alex backed into the shadows and slipped quietly into his restaurant. He beelined for the bathroom, splashing his face with cool water, trying to calm his flustered, blushing cheeks. He should have asked to be dropped off somewhere more discreet…

It took many minutes of his own pep talk in the mirror and frantically checking his phone to see just how badly he was plastered all over social media. Most of the local input were focused around the masked Superhero, Alex had been little more than one more face in the crowd, for now. Some were commenting on the sighting, a whole lot of people complimenting the Superhero’s ass. He frowned at a video of a particularly hysterical young woman, who appeared to be in tears, ranting how she had almost touched Spider-man. ‘Almost, like I’m almost a billionaire.’ He snorted, before finding the prideful jealousy unlike him, putting his phone back in his pocket as he came back to the present and checked his watch. He was running nearly half an hour behind the appointed time and sighed in frustration. ‘Ughh… Please don’t think I’ve stood you up, Miguel, that’s all I need…’ He stepped out into the restaurant proper once again, eyes scanning the tables, hoping beyond hope that his date was still here. His heart fell as he ran out of chairs to check, biting his lower lip as despair sunk in. He was too late. Then the man himself strode in, dark jacket hanging over his shoulder, top two buttons of his shirt undone, and checking his very fancy, very sleek watch with wide, worried eyes. ‘Miguel…’ He called out in a breath and those maroon eyes looked up like he had heard him, watch vanishing back under the sleeve. ‘Alex… I’m so, so sorry. You haven’t been waiting too long, I hope? Traffic getting here was shocking awful.’ He was embraced in a warm hug, Alex inhaled the earthy, warm scents of the other man and hummed in delight, returning the embrace. ‘I’m glad I didn’t miss you. It’s already been quite a night.’ They drew apart, he looked up into those kind eyes as a large hand patted his shoulder gently. ‘Oh? You can tell me over dinner. I called ahead and I think I’ve managed to stop our table from disappearing.’

He was aware of some of the patrons and even the staff glancing at him, soft whispers passing between them that remained indecipherable, but still didn’t completely escape his notice. He continued to ignore both of them, but it was his phone repeatedly vibrating in his pocket that had a bead of sweat trickling down the back of his neck. He was either getting a lot of texts from different people, or a lot of texts from one particular workmate who was all but glued to social media. It was easy for him to push the thoughts from his head and focus on the charming man he was sat opposite from. ‘You look… unsettled, Alex. What’s wrong?’ He took a calming breath, leaning forward to rest his chin on clasped hand and lowered his voice. ‘… I got a friend to give me a lift here, Miguel.’ ‘Uh-huh?’ ‘My… superhero friend, and he agreed to drop me off here. By which I mean in the middle of the street, right outside.’ He could feel his cheeks burning again already. Miguel seemed entirely unbothered, still warm and kind. ‘Just ignore them. Let them say what they will, Alex. You’ve got my heart, and apparently, you’ve got the heart of a hero in your hands, too.’ He winked, smiling. Those fangs glinting again before being hidden once more.

As time passed, he became hazy with food and wine. By the time desserts were cleaned away, Miguel’s warm hand had taken his own, the thumb stroking softly. ‘… Well, my Mum and Dad are both a bit odd, my sister’s a stage medium- I don’t know if you believe in that? I hold out hope- Uh, my uncle is a captain with the Met Police. According to my sister; “the spirits” told her that he’d die in a bird attack and I’d be “crowned in glass” … I’d take it with a big clump of salt.’ He returned the gesture, giving Miguel’s hand a gentle squeeze. ‘Hm. I’ve got an older brother… Half-brother… But he’s a world away now.’ Miguel’s tone was soft, gaze distant, then he looked into Alex’s eyes, and the pain in his gaze vanished. ‘I could just lose myself in your eyes, all night long....’ The larger man purred, maroon eyes crinkling. ‘The perfect blue. If they say the eyes are the window to the soul, I see straight into yours… And it’s beautiful.’ Alex wished he hadn’t been so quick to finish his drink, his throat was dry. ‘I think yours are too; eyes and soul. Like a soulmate I’ve been searching for. Heh-Ow!’ He snatched his hand out of Miguel’s grasp, hissing in the raking pain, drops of crimson pattered the tablecloth. ‘You alright?’ ‘Yeah… Oww, your nails are sharp.’ He inhaled through gritted teeth, looking his hand over, the four deep scratches on his hand were starting to bleed. He rose from where he sat, giving him a nervous smile, wrapping it in the unused napkin. ‘I’m just gonna… Run it under a tap, I’ll be back, Miguel.’ He saw the larger man looking his fingers over, checking his nails. His short, blunt nails. He looked… guilty.

His hand shook as he ran it under the freezing tap water, washing away the blood and feeling the skin numb from the chill. His phone rested beside the sink, and he squinted at the screen, all the messages from earlier had indeed come from one colleague in particular, the notorious gossip; Scott Staland. “Hey Alex?” “Alex?” “the Spider?” “You with the Spider?” “IS THIS YOU?!” Beneath it all was a single uploaded photo, taken from one of the media platforms. Alex felt the rest of him go cold. At least someone in that crowd had caught a semi decent photo. It was occluded in half by the flash of another camera, but he could definitely make himself out, hand against Spider-man’s cheek, being clasped in turn. ‘… Shit.’ He groaned, unsure if the pain in his hand was worse than the embarrassment swelling in his chest that he would have to deal with at work tomorrow. The photo would have long since completely circulated among his colleagues, and perhaps even some of the management. He gave his hand one last run under the spray, then began to dab it dry with the napkin. No longer bleeding, but adorned with angry red cuts. ‘Ugh… Man, you’ve got some really sharp nails.’ He had felt pinpricks of pain at first, but in trying to pull away, he had felt it drag straight down. “>: No idea what you mean. I’ve been out with someone else all night.” He sent the reply and slid his phone back into his pocket, the wet, bloodied napkin was ditched into the depths of the small grey bin and he let the lid close with a slam.

Miguel had discovered there was no greater method of keeping your inner beast under control then self-loathing. He had felt it rise from the depths, seeking that connection with the man he had sat opposite, and then it was too late. He had lost his concentration and those talons had bit into his hand and Alex’s instinct to recoil had only made it worse. He had, however unintentionally, hurt his own soulmate, and the beast inside had shuddered and slithered back into its cage in a whimpering shame. His good mood was utterly ruined, and with the bill for the evening sorted, he lurked by the doors like a kicked puppy, watching the night pass by. Perhaps it had been foolish for him to drop Alex off right outside the restaurant, Lyla had definitely spent a few good minutes suggesting such as he had made sure to lure the crowds from the restaurant, hoping their prolonged attention on him would make them forget all about his soulmate. At least, with the mask on, he could let the beast out of its cage a little more, release some of his inhibitions and play with him.

Alex emerged back into the restaurant, finding Miguel right by the doors, jacket zipped up, looking like he was in the turmoil of his own thoughts. ‘Oh no, don’t tell me you paid for the full thing.’ He watched Miguel snap out of his thoughts, expression turning to one of relieved sadness. ‘Of course I did.’ His stinging hand was taken gently in Miguel’s own, and he watched the larger man place an apologetic kiss on his knuckles. ‘How is your hand?’ ‘I’ll be fine… I’ve got a little first-aid box at home. I’ll give it a proper tending to then. You watch those claws, yeah?’ He chuckled softly and Miguel met it with his own relieved smile. ‘Well, then, let’s get you home…’

#aspects of glass #miguel o'hara #miguel x oc #spider-man: across the spider-verse

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