#i’ve been wondering this forever
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‘It started to consume me, until one day, I realized the darkness I thought was theirs was in truth mine.’
happy first anniversary to the high i’m still chasing!!!
#YIPPEE!!!!#khdr#baldr#kingdom hearts#kingdom hearts dark road#dark road#kh baldr#baldr kh#i’ve been working on this on and off since uhh sometime in the spring#wasn’t even meant to be my anniversary tribute but. here it is!!!#anyways. it’s been a wonderful past year with you all#i hope we keep making the same posts forever and ever#the absolutely RABID state of the fandom for several days after the fact. unparalleled#❤️🔪#mine: kh#my art
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and I love you so much, I’m going to let you kill me
~
A little edit in honour of me destroying the relationship between these two in my fic
#like i’ve said before on this blog i don’t ship rapple#but their weird toxic codependent friendship has enraptured me from the get go#they never match each others freak but that’s the point and it’s wonderful#ever after high#eah#rapple#< tagging cause this technically is a rapple edit and i love their shippers regardless of my personal beliefs#raven queen#apple white#eah edit#idk something about relationships so fundamental to the narrative that the story would fall apart without them#something something these two never once agreeing and that being their downfall but also what ties them together#and you have to wonder if their mothers felt something similar when they were young#if raven could have ended like her mother if she had gone through with signing the book the first time and the story would play out#in a loop forever#but she broke the cycle and might have actually saved her friendship w apple by doing so#idk i think abt it a lot#writing these two has been… an experience
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more funny bunny family:o) lalala
#sooooooooo special to me forever#i’ve been taking the time to indulge in my familial ships and oh my goodness has it done wonders for the brain#🐰💛#ticky doodles#familial f/o#please don’t tag as romantic#self ship#self shipping#self ship art#self ship community
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free day / the museum
#chreonweek2k23#chreon#chris redfield#leon kennedy#resident evil#starishsky draws#I didn’t explain this well on Twitter but I can throw up in the tags here#so this is like when you go to a museum and see a pretty painting and you have to sit with it for a while bc it stirs something in you#like so much care in the piece. the expression. the technique. you wonder abt what the artist was thinking abt#and uhhhh. it just kinda sticks with you forever.#I wish I could say that a piece like that comes to mind right now for me but I can’t think of one tbh#however I have been really into the artwork of yuming li recently#the way they use blue and this bright orange really fucking gets me. I love it#anyway. Leon museum. all of the other paintings are previous Leons I’ve made#one of them from this yesterday actually
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vaughan (he/him)
#my art#oc tag#original character#vaughan#i’ve been wanting to draw him in low rise jeans forever. i will do it again#he would not have a navel piercing in canon (and he would’ve lost it anyways) but it was necessary for the outfit#i’m trying to let my art be messier and it’s so wonderful. i recommend everyone let your art be a little messier
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moriarty and sherlock are criminal x investigator written by straight people and hannibal and will are criminal x investigator written by gay people hope that helps
#never thought I’d be sherlock posting here hello#I’ve been watching it with my mum and y’all were right about the queerbaiting my god it’s as bad as supernatural#even my MOTHER pointed it out 😭😭#moriarty is kicking his feet and calling sherlock sexy and giving him his number only to show up like did you like it when I acted GAY#IT WAS BUT A DISGUISE like steven moffat what are you silly?#could’ve done anything with that dynamic idk there’s a whole triple foil thing going on with watson#also the trope where character a freaks out when character b is in danger (pool scene you know the one)#and moffat makes it so AWKWARD with the gay jokes like what is he doing#meanwhile hannibal is telling will that if he saw him everyday forever he’d remember this time#and that he let him know him and see him and will wonders if they could survive separation 😩#moffat ruined my life and I don’t even GO here#anyway sherlock fandom I’m so sorry for what they did to you 💔#sherlock#sherlock holmes#jim moriarty#sheriarty#nbc hannibal#hannibal#will graham#hannigram#ghost speaks
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I’m afraid she’s busting out the straightener again
#It’s summer aka curly hair szn so I’ll mostly go curly but I just miss pin straight hair idk#And maybe a blowout sometime too#I think I rly wanna do a blowout#I just wanna switch it up I’ve been curly for so long#But im DRENCHING my hair in heat protectant its fine#<- girl who took years to nurse her curls back to health due to heat overuse and is terrified#I can’t avoid it forever..#Side note but I ALWAYS go straight hair on flights bc I think it’s so much more manageable than curly hair#I wonder if every curly haired girl does that too or if im just extra
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Do we like know who this dude is. Or not
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🌱🌼 Cecilia 🌼🌱
pose ref
#first thing i’ve drawn in Forever 😭 been on an AWL binge recently so had to draw one of my girlies 🥰#ended up marrying Molly (MUFFY) this playthru but gonna go back to an older save file to marry Celia…CEcilia* (not adjusted to name changes#story of seasons#harvest moon#story of seasons a wonderful life#harvest moon a wonderful life#sos awl#hm awl#celia#celia harvest moon#cecilia story of seasons#fanart#bokumono#my art#awl
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just read ‘Song of Achilles’ and I’ve been crying like a bitch for the past ten minutes
I don’t know why people were like
“Oh, I didn’t cry at that. It’s whatever.”
bc that fucked me up
#books and reading#song of achilles#Achilles#patroclus#I’ve been crying for so long now#my face is puffy#and I have a headache#I haven’t cried like that in a while#thank god it wasn’t a sob sesh#I would’ve woken up my family 💀#but seriously that book was wonderful#they’re just#two boys in love#and I will forever think about them#now back to crying
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//
#my friend defended her phd thesis today and I’m so happy for her#we were on this journey together until I quit two years ago and it’s amazing how well-researched her thesis is#however by the end of the day I can’t help but think that I could#do that too maybe? or I wouldn’t be able to?#also watching her defend her thesis and seeing familiar faces made me somehow nostalgic abt the whole academic setting#and lately I’ve been feeling such a lack of purpose in anything I do I wonder if it were different had I stayed#or is it nostalgia lying? I think factually I quite hated being at uni in the last semesters#but my problem was the supervisor mainly and I try to imagine now how it could be with someone else#so many maybes and hypotheticals.. maybe I’m where I’m meant to be as of now even if still not happy lol#oh i also remembered how i thought i would be lonely forever bc at my uni most of the lecturers are middle-aged and over women#and now i simply sit at home alone all day#funny huh
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Finally on “The Crocodile” in my OUAT rewatch!!!!
Let’s Goooo!!!!!
#every time I’ve watched this show I’ve appreciated rumple as a good character and thought he was entertaining but never thought much of him#tell me why this time he’s been my favourite so far#like he’s genuinely the best character on the show and every episode he isn’t in takes me forever to finish#Robert Carlyle is just so talented idk man#im currently obsessed with not only shiny goblin rumple but mr gold too#i wonder if this will somehow make me love the rumple and hook storyline even more#welp time to start the episode :)#ouat#ouat rewatch#once upon a time#ouat The Crocodile#ouat 2x04#rumplestiltskin#ouat rumple#Captain Hook#killian jones#kate's post
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The Paris Review and John Updike getting me in my teenage Dean feels.
#young dean#dean studies#god. thinking of dean coming home from his 17th birthday hunt. burning those nuns whose only sin was loving each other.#and he finds a bookstore with books that look as broken as he feels.#he can’t afford any and he has half a mind to steal one but the bookseller sees him#and see himself in him when he was young and broken and lost.#he hands him a jacket-less book to the boy drowning in the leather coat never made for him#tells him it’s on the house. tells him his now isn’t gonna be his forever.#hopes he listens. hopes he believes him.#and dean goes home to his brother and reads to him about these two brothers who live on the road until sammy falls asleep.#and dean thinks about the bookseller and wonders if he’ll end up like him or like the nuns he salted and burned.#oops i guess i wrote a fic in the tags again. ah well.#I’ve been trying to write on a life in your shape all night to little success so ig this is where it went instead haha
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HELLLP LMGAO when did you change ur user😭
i remember i’ve been trying to find ur blog so i can catch up on “liar,liar”but i couldn’t find it
simultaneously, I also was wondering why I kept getting notifications from a blog called Tojiscrack not knowing it was you, totally happy i found it again🙏🙏
I WARNED EVERYONE THAT I’D CHANGE IT AFTER A POLL I PUT UP ABOUT WHETHER IT SHOULD BE ‘tojisbum’ or ‘tojiscrack’ LIKE 3 MONTHS AGO HAHAHA 😭 and then two months later, i changed it 😗
but so sorry about that, i’m glad you found my blog again 😭 i was lowkey wondering where you were at ‘cause whenever my sporadic updates come along, you tend to send a message about it and you were missing recently so i was like 😟 worried and shit lolol
in any case, if it changes again, you can always find the story on ao3 using their filter feature. put in the tags ‘fushiguro megumi/reader’ and ‘reader is funny and will make you crack up (i promise)’ and my story should be the first — and only — one to pop up <3
BUT YAY, GLAD YOU’RE HERE AGAIN !!!
#it’s a full house guys!#i recognise every lovely liar by their user and how often they talk to me#b4tm4nn specifically too cuz she’s an og#been here since forever#now i’m wondering where some of my ao3 readers disappeared off to#i’ve got comments to reply to on there so i’m gonna go do that soon#i’ve just introduced a new character in liar liar chapter 5#mixed feelings bcz … you’ll see#i wanna say ‘it all goes downhill from here’ but that’s inaccurate#it goes downhill from some point in junior year onwards#but#i like scaring everyone#idk why i’m ranting#woohoo! b4tm4nn is back and alive and well!#*sends multiple smooches over through the screen*
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Pondering bottom surgery in the tags I mf guess
#I’ve been. thinking abt bottom surgery again after having accepted for a while that I would probably never get it#for context early on in my transition I was dead set on phallo but then T and my other surgeries satisfied me enough to not need it#+ for phallo I would have had to keep an arm or leg free of tattoos and I just did not want to wait on that#not considering it would probably be at least a decade. tattoos were and are more important#+ the more I started to enjoy using what I have I was like. it is simply not medically necessary anymore#like would I like to have a **** yes. do I need one to live a happy life no#being bi complicates things for me too bc it depends a little bit who I marry#don’t want to tailor my body to a specific relationship esp if it doesn’t last forever but it does make a difference#current partner is nonbinary and wants phallo so that does not make things simpler lol#I want a body that allows the most affirming possible relationship w the person I intend to marry#I also don’t want to end up hindering things w future partners should that not happen#anyway I say all this to say. I had never considered meta as an option bc I didn’t think it would do much for me#lot of effort and money and healing for not as drastic a change. wouldn’t solve my biggest bottom dysphoria issues#however. starting to think it could be the middle ground I’m looking for as a gnc/genderfluid person#it would be less surgeries. less complicated n expensive. less changes to my current anatomy#esp if I don’t do everything you Can do w meta. I could do like half of all that or less#I don’t wanna risk giving up the things I can do now without knowing if I’ll enjoy the new possibilities#but this could be a way to just kinda feel more affirmed without it changing my life all that much#I think just the act of undergoing bottom surgery would be affirming. like I’ve done Everything I’m a binary male thru and thru. transexual#and I wouldn’t have to keep wondering if I’ll do it someday or if I should#not that I can any time soon I’m uninsured. insurance prob wouldn’t even cover it#but just. the more I look into it and think abt it + the more serious my relationship gets the more I lean towards it#my partner talking increasingly abt wanting bottom surgery asap is influencing me too ngl not even in a jealousy way#just. I can’t deal w the possibility of a partners phallo fucking up my relationship w my body Again. I would need to know what I want#man. I can’t even go to therapy to talk thru it. on account of being uninsured#mine#txt#personal
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i truly believe that everyone has a guardian angel that follows them since birth to watch over and protect them and i think it’s beautiful
#hello christianity side of me briefly popping out :P#i’ve been thinking about this a lot lately#and it’s comforting to know there’s someone on my side always and forever <3 i wonder what they look like#or if i’ll get to meet them when i die#either way i’m glad they’re here :)#and i really hope they like tv !
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