#i’ve been trying to click shit for 3 hours

[stoneyweezin]

so is tumblr being dumb or i genuinely can’t click on yalls master lists

[antiwhores]

My king ˏˋ°•*⁀➷

King!Bakugou x servant!reader

I’m on break rn but its Bakugou’s birthday so heres this for you guys. I haven’t wrote anything this long in a HOT minute. only ogs remember when I used to write more than just drabbles

Learning not to feel self conscious about every move you made around King Katsuki was like learning to walk again.

You had to be perfect, everyone had to be perfect with the King’s temper. If a plate broke, you’d be shamed and degraded until you were holding back improper tears to avoid more degration, then you’d be fired and kicked to the curb. If you messed up an order, say goodbye to the kingdom cause you’re banished. And if you even showed the slightest disrespect then plan your funeral in the next 20 seconds because you’re dead.

Atleast, that’s what everyone told you when you first started your job as King Katsuki’s personal servant.

So far, you have not been degraded to salty tears when dropping a plate. You get a simple, “Tch, stupid woman.” As you apologize profusely and bow down to the man.

You had not been banished for messing up an order. During a quiet afternoon one week, you were flustered. You had bills to pay, a close friend just died, you needed to restock grocery, and you had gotten 3 hours of sleep from all the crying over your friend. He noticed your puffy eyes and unusually sluggish frame. He spoke nothing about it. But when you gave him peach tea instead of chai he didn’t make too much of a scene. He mearly asked, rudely of course, what was wrong with you; he scoffed at your excuse.

And he definitely didn’t have you hanged when a groan threw itself out of your mouth when he bitched about you being absent yesterday. He only made you get on your knees as he grabbed your face and made you apologize and beg for forgiveness. It sounds harsh but considering his reputation, you were called extremely lucky.

The other staff said that he’d taken a liking to you. They always sent you out to take care of his needs when he was in a pissy mood cause you had a better chance at living than the average servant.

You didn’t speak much unless directly told to. Its how you were trained. He didnt talk much either but he would ask you casual questions sometimes, like you’re anything but an ant in this heirchy.

“Oi.”

You gracefully turned around to face him and bowed down. “Yes, your grace?”

He clicks his tongue at your formality. “Stop it with the your grace and shit. Are you beheld yet?”

You softly shake your head, trying not to show your surprise at the intimate question. “No, your majesty.”

You feel embarrassed telling him your status. Usually girls around here would be married at 17 but here you are still single.

He seems pleased at that, “Why?”

You shrug as if the answer is simple. “I haven’t found someone who I can holeheartedly call my beloved.”

He starts to get nicer to you after that. He makes sure you eat and orders you to tell him (in detail) about your day.

No one is allowed in the King’s room. He says if he wants to clean it, he’ll do so himself. And no one dares to step foot into his den and you are not an exception.

You are still scared when he tells you to run him a bath in his room. You had to conform with him so many times that you invoked him to snapping on you.

His room reked of him. It was intoxicating.

You forced yourself to disregard everything around you in fear that if you looked up from your shoes you wouldn’t be able to control yourself from snooping.

You allowed yourself to look up when you reached his enormous bathroom. Did one person really need a bathroom the size of your house? It wasn’t your place to say so you began to prepare a bath.

Just as you were done you went to head out only to be stopped by the King himself.

“Where ya headed?”

You almost screamed from being startled so badly.

“I’ve prepared your bath, my king. I figured I should head out now.”

You wait for his word to leave but it never comes.

“Stay.” He commands.

“But-“

“Are you arguing with me?”

You definitely were not. You just thought that he didn’t understand that you were done and he didn’t need you anymore. But as he began to strip down in your silence, you realized he understood fully.

You turned a full 180 degrees around to avoid disrespecting him. A lowly servant like you shouldn’t have the privilege of seeing a king indecent. Even if you have grown found of him, you need to respect your place.

You hear the water splash as he gets in.

“Come.”

“What?”

“Get in with me.”

“But sir-“

“Do we need to correct that attitude? Arguing with the King isn’t smart.”

He doesn’t know what he’s asking, you thought as your cheeks grew red. Your body moved on its own as you began to strip down. You couldn’t disobey the king, not that you wanted to. You’ve always had a thing for him. From his biceps to his booming personality.

You suddenly feel subconscious with his eyes on you. He licks his lips, or did he? You have to be dreaming right now.

But you’re not dreaming, his hand dragging you on top of him in the bath isn’t a dream. And its definitely not a dream when your hand try to find something to stable itself and end up on his shoulders.

“You know, I’m quite fond of you.”

He strokes up and down your sides before moving onto your arms. The waters warm but it feels like its boiling against your skin. He smells so good and he feels so… hard?

Hard, against your thigh. You blush a deep red. He looks down with you.

“Like what you see, yeah?”

Fuck, it was big. You expected him to be big, but you hadn’t comprehended how that would feel inside someone.

“Wanna sit on it?”

You didn’t even realize you were now straddling him. You didn’t know if you moved of if he had moved you. All you know is that your here now and its taking everything in you to not grind against him without permission.

Lustful eyes meet lustful eyes. He gives you silent permission with a nod of his head so you began to grind your pussy against his cock in a desperate attempt to get rid of the heat in your belly.

His head is thrown back, “Just like that…”

You grinded until you could find the angle to catch your clit against him. The water was splashing back and forth against the tub. Your pussy clenched against nothing and it drove you crazy.

Just as you were about to cum, he stilled your hips with both hands.

You whined, “My king-“

“It’s Katsuki.”

“I couldn’t possibly call the king by his first name as a commoner.”

“Then it’s a good thing you’re not a commoner anymore, my queen.”

Before you could even begin to comprehend what he was alluding to, he slammed his cock inside you and thrusted into you at a wild pace.

You gripped his shoulders to study yourself, the stretch being painful but quickly residing into pleasure.

“Fuck!” He hissed through his teeth. He just got in and he’s already ready to cum. You felt so good, nothing like anything he’s had before. He was ready to make you queen before hand but now he’s ready to make a heir to the throne.

Your head dove into his shoulders, it was too much and it felt too good. You felt the knot in your stomach tighten. He grabbed you by your hair and shoved you against his lips.

“Wanna cum inside, that okay?”

He was gonna do it even if you said it wasn’t so you didn’t bother responding. You were too focused on meeting his thrusts anyway.

His cock pulsed inside of you, his hands marking your back up with scratched and vice versa.

The coil inside you snapped and you came on his cock with a scream. He followed shortly after you with an uncharacteristic moan.

His ropes of cum filled you up until his body relaxed against you.

Water was everywhere, on the walls and the floor. It would take a lot to clean up but you couldn’t focus on that right now.

“Does this mean you like me?”

“I just said I was making you queen, fuckin’ dumbass.”

[alexwritess]

just this once ~g.s~

Content warnings: angst, mentions drug-use, mentions relapsing, smut (MDNI), service dom! geto, oral (both receiving), praise, degradation, rough sex, piv unprotected sex, make-up sex (YES GAWWDDD), gn! reader (reader does have a vagina), overstimulation, creampie (for LACK of a better term great heavens), and a little fluff for my sappy hoes

word count: 2.8k (ik it’s kinda long, bare w me)

(a/n: in this fic, just imagine geto being HEAVILY tattooed, i could not find any reference pics so the gif will have to do i fear. also i barely proofread this so i apologize in advance for any typos)

You had just gotten home after a long day at work and all you wanted to do was relax in bed with your boyfriend. You walked into the house and were met with Suguru’s cat Yuki laying in the dead center of the living room. Her head poked up as she saw you walking through the door, causing her to run over to you. You crouched to the floor, petted her, and kissed the top of her head before something caught the corner of your eye. A small pack of cigarettes was hidden under a napkin in the small trash can that sat by your front door.

“Suguru?” You called, your voice ricocheting off the walls.

“Suguru!” The disappointment in your voice was prominent. Suguru had been going through a rough patch and he developed unhealthy habits since his failed assignment of protecting a young girl by the name of Riko Amanai.

After inspecting the entirety of your home, you finally found him sitting out on the patio. It was like he immediately sensed your presence and arose from his seat to greet you.

“Hi baby” He smiled, leaning to kiss you but you pushed him away.

“Are you smoking again?” You asked, your hand flying up to scratch your forehead to try and comprehend how this could’ve possibly happened.

“What? Sweetheart, what are you talking about?”

You scoffed at his response. “Don’t “sweetheart’ me right now Suguru, just answer the question”

“No, I’m not. Why would you think that?” His tone was rattled.

You nodded as you pulled the empty box of cigarettes out from your back pocket and waved them in his face.

“I found these in the trash can by the front door”

“They’re not mine, I swear”

“Don’t bullshit me right now” You said, staring directly into his brown eyes.

“I’m not, they’re Nanami’s. He was here a few hours ago”

“Okay” You nodded. “So if I were to call Nanami right now he would tell me that these were his?”

Suguru was quiet for a second. No longer making eye contact with you, he shrugged and nodded.

“Let’s see about that”

You pulled out your phone and scrolled through your contact list searching for Nanami’s contact. You clicked on his name and stared at Suguru, who was trying his best no to look at you as the phone rang. After about 3 rings, a deep voice was heard coming from the other side of the line.

(R= Reader, N= Nanami)

N: I’m working

R: Hey sorry, were you here today by any chance?

N: No, I’ve been at work since morning. I’m actually working overtime today

R: That’s weird, I was told otherwise. Anyways, sorry for bothering you at work

N: It’s no problem, and uh… is Geto okay?

R: He’s fine Kento, thanks. Bye

N: Alright

*End call*

“You are so full of shit” You shook your head at Suguru, who was now staring at the floor below him, praying it would swallow him whole after he had just been caught in a lie. He exhaled deeply before attempting to walk closer to you, the unpleasant smell of tobacco hitting your nostrils.

“Don’t crowd me, you reek” You softly spoke, walking away from him.

For the record, you weren’t upset that he relapsed. You were upset that he felt comfortable enough to lie to you about it after you had both made it clear that honesty, openness, and communication were the biggest you needed to work on to make the relationship last.

A couple hours later, you were in the kitchen making dinner. You had forgotten that what you had planned on eating that night was Suguru’s favorite food, Zaru Soba. Somehow, preparing it made you even more upset. Soft footsteps were heard descending the stairs and you immediately dreaded having to be in the same room as him.

His arms snaked around your waist as he rested his head on your shoulder, planting a soft kiss upon it. Suguru was notorious for being extremely clingy after arguments and/or disagreements, he HATED seeing you upset. Especially if he was the reason for your negative emotions. With his head still resting on your shoulder, he looked up at your eyes before looking back at the cutting board in front of you.

“This looks really good, babe” He said.

You swatted his arms from around you as you walked over to the pantry to return everything you had used to cook.

He scoffed at you. “The Silent Treatment, seriously?”. The silence grew a little more deafening as the only noise that occurred was the food hitting the bowls you were serving it into. You pushed a bowl over to Suguru because even if you were extremely upset with him, you still loved him…with every inch of your being. You slowly picked at your food, not feeling much of an appetite.

“Can you at least say something? Us not talking is killing me right now” he finally spoke up.

“I don’t have anything to say, Suguru”

“That wasn’t exactly your case earlier though, was it?” He muttered under his breath, but it was loud enough for you to hear.

“Go to hell” You said, before exiting the kitchen and making your way upstairs to your bedroom, locking the door behind you.

Tears slowly poured out from your eyes, but it was like as soon as you dried your eyes, even more tears came streaming down.

“Y/N?” Suguru’s voice called from the other side of the door. The door slowly opened and he peeked his head in. How the hell did he open the- wait- he’s a sorcerer.

He walked into the room and stood right next to the door.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that” He scanned your face to see if you were going to say anything.

“Look, I fucking relapsed okay? Is that it? Is that what you wanted to hear?” The sound of his voice raising at you caused you to cringe. He’d never raised his voice at you until tonight.

He took a deep breath before continuing “I’ve been through a lot of shit these past couple of months, and I don’t need you berating me for a minor setback”

“I’m not berating you, I’m just upset and angry that you felt the need to lie to me about something this serious”

He covered his face with his hands. “It was a couple fuckin’ cigarettes, babe”

“The whole fuckin’ pack is not a couple, Suguru. I’m worried about you”

“I’m fine” He huffed.

“No you’re not, you and I both know that”

“I’m your partner and I love you. When shit like this happens, please talk to me. We’ve been together for almost 3 years and we’ve always told each other that we would ALWAYS confide each other with our problems. I don’t know it’s just… I feel like you might not trust me anymore”

He slowly walked towards the bed and sat right next to you, wiping a tear from your eye and bringing your hand up to his mouth to kiss it.

“That is not true, I trust you more than anyone in this whole world. I-” he paused. “Since I took some time off from work and since you’ve been picking up more shifts at the bakery, you’ve been really stressed and busy and I just didn’t wanna bother you with my shit”

Your heart dropped to your stomach as you heard the last words of that sentence. How could the love of your life ever feel like he would be a burden to you?

“You’d never be a burden, my love”

“God, I love you” He said, his eyes sparkling with tears.

“I love you too” You said back, before he gently placed his lips onto yours, His arms immediately reaching for your waist and yours immediately reaching for his neck. He leaned forward, his broad, fit frame landing right on top of you. The kiss grew hungrier as you spread your legs to feel just how much he was hardening from above you. Suguru pulled away from your lips, kissing down your neck, then your shoulders. Creeping closer and closer to your chest. You flipped the switch, causing you to now be straddling him. His wrists pinned to the bed. You reached for the hem of his t-shirt, eagerly pulling it over his head. Your hands explored his tattooed torso and left slow delicate kisses all down his body until you got closer and closer to the waistband of his briefs. He stopped you as you reached for his sweats.

“What are you doing?” He asked, in a rather confused tone.

“You always take care of me, let me take care of you for once” You responded, smiling up at him.

“You really don’t have to do that”

“I want to though, you never let me get you off” You said, reaching into his boxers.

“That’s because watching you get off helps me get off” His words were followed by a sharp gasp as your cold hand met his erection.

“Let me do this for you, baby. Just this once” You whispered into his ear.

You placed your lips back onto his as you stroked his hard cock through his boxers.

“Ngh, fuck” he moaned out.

You proceeded to pull his pants and boxers off at once and were shocked by how pre-cum he’d already leaked. You licked him from the base of his cock up until the tip and took his entire length into your mouth. Slowly moving your head up and down as Suguru lost his mind from under you. You looked up at him for a split second and saw his head thrown back as he let out different whimpers and cuss words, praising you for how amazing your mouth felt on his throbbing cock.

“Ngh, fuck sweetheart”

The closer he got to his orgasm, the more you teased his tip just enough to send him over the edge. He lifted your head off of him by grabbing your chin, he kissed you sloppily not having a care in the world that you were just going down on him less than a second ago.

“You are so fuckin’ sexy” He said to you. “Get on your back for me, angel”

He smiled down at you as you did what he said. “I love it when you do as you’re told, so good for me”

He had practically ripped off every article of clothing you had on, leaving your body completely exposed. He planted innocent kisses on stomach, neck, and shoulders. He was barely even touching you but he just knew what spots would make you tick.

“Suguru please, I- I need you”

“Patience, my love”

Suguru began moving lower, planting kisses on your inner thighs. Creeping closer to where you really needed him, you were practically in heat waiting for him to stop teasing you. After what felt like a million lifetimes of waiting, he was finally paying attention to your soaked, aching core. He slowly licked in between your wet folds and mainly focused his tongue on your swollen clit. Flicking it back and forth with his tongue before sucking on it with a little more pressure than usual. As your clit kept his tongue occupied, he slid one of his fingers into your wet cunt, earning a choked out gasp from your mouth.

“F-fuck” was all you could manage to get out, considering every cohesive thought was being washed out of your brain from how good his mouth felt on your pussy.

“Oh my…fuck Suguru!” You squealed, attempting to close your legs from your clit having grown way too sensitive but he pried your legs open with his forearms and held them open. The lewd noises exiting your mouth were the only form of response you had to how badly he was manhandling you.

“Ungh, shit baby I’m getting cl- fuck i’m gonna cum”

“D-don’t s-stop, FUCK” you screamed.

He sat upright and the sight of his mouth and chin covered in your juices made you wetter than you already were. He crawled up to you, tenderly kissing you, letting you taste yourself off of his tongue.

“I need more of you, like right now”

“Your wish is forever my command, sweetheart”

He begins pulling his hair back but you stop him.

“No, leave it down. You look hot”

He smiled at you before lining himself up with your entrance. He slowly pushed himself into you, your back automatically arching and a high-pitched squeal immediately leaving your mouth. Suguru cupped your face and stared directly into your eyes.

“It’s okay baby, I got you. You’re okay”

“Oh my god, you feel so g-good”

He responded by planting a kiss on your forehead as he fucked you harder. Your eyes involuntarily began rolling to the back of your head.

“Uh-uh, eyes on me sweetheart, look at me while I fuck you”

You look up at him with the most cockdrunk look in your eyes, the sweat beads on his forehead and the way his long hair fell perfectly made you want to have this man’s babies right then and there. You attempted to say something but it came out as random babbles because the only thing you could truly think about was how good Suguru’s hard cock felt repeatedly pounding into your drenched pussy.

“I know baby, I know” He lightly smiled. “You’re taking me so well, you like being a good slut for me?”

You lazily nodded. “I need to hear your words”

“I like being a g- g- fuck that feels so good”

He chuckled. “That’s not what I asked you, angel”

“Ungh fuck, I love being a good s-slut f- for you”

He groaned in response and you felt a slight twitch in his cock, hinting that he was nearing his orgasm.

“Are you close?” You asked him, he slowly nodded.

“Y-Yeah why?”

“I wanna c-, fuck I need to cum with you”

“No, you cum first”

Suguru always insisted on making you cum first, he didn’t give a damn if he had to edge himself for hours, he just always needed you to get off first.

“You are so fucking s-stubborn”

“Was that attitude you were just giving me?” He asked. “Huh?”

He increased the speed and pressure at which he fucked you, it felt so overwhelmingly good your eyes were rolled so far back, you swore you couldn’t see for a minute straight.

“Oh my fucking godddddd, fuck Suguru. D-don’t stop, I’m gonna c- oh fuck”

“You are so fuckin’ t-tight angel”

The only noises filling the room were yours and Suguru’s moans, along with the sound of this skin loudly slapping against yours.

“I-I’m c-cumminggggg fuck!” You reaching your high didn’t stop him from continuing to fuck you at an abnormal pace and force.

“Fuck I need to cum inside you, baby” He said, cupping the side of your face.

Suguru was fucking you harder than he ever had in your 2 and a half years of having been together.

“You’re so good for me, taking all of me like the cock-slut you are. Tell me what you are, baby”

“I’m your c-cock-slut”

He groaned as his thrusts got sloppier.

“I’m yours, fuck I’m all yours”

“Shit angel, I’m so close”

“Cum inside me Suguru, I need it. I need you, please. I wanna feel all of it”

He let out a loud grunt as he blew his thick white load of cum into your tight throbbing cunt.

“Holy fuck” You exclaimed as he fucked his cum deeper into you.

“I think you’re trying to break me tonight” You laughed.

He passionately kissed you as he slowly laid next to you.

“I’m sorry” He said.

“For what?” You looked up at him.

“Lying to you”

“It’s okay Sugu, I understand why you did it”

“I love you, you know that?”

You nodded, smiling like a kid in a candy store.

“I love you too”

He kissed your forehead, then your lips.

The room fell into a comfortable silence when Suguru just had a sense that your mind wasn’t clear.

“What are you thinking about?” He asked.

“Sex”

He scoffed. “You slut, we just had sex”

You slapped his chest before laughing.

“No but I um..I just wanna ask you something”

“What is it?”

“How come you never…?

“How come I never let you go down on me?”

You covered your face in embarrassment. ‘Yeah?”

“I just get more pleasure from making you feel good”

“So you hate when I give you head?”

“No baby, that is not what I’m saying. You give amazing head but I just prefer taking care of you, don’t feel selfish though, I know how you get”

“So you’re like a…service dom?”

“And what the hell is that?”

“It’s someone whose main focus is making their partner feel good in the bedroom, so they kinda like prioritize their partner’s pleasure” You explained.

“Um…I guess that’s what I am then”

“Yeah, you sure are”

He rolled his eyes.

“Whatever you say, angel” He softly kissed your forehead before you both dozed off.

[slutt4ellie]

Hearts Over Hierarchy

Loser!Ellie x Popular!Reader

masterslist

PART 2 // PART 3 // PART 4

Do opposites really attract?

Summery : When you run into a girl who rarely makes acknowledgment she even exists, there’s something that undoubtedly draws you to her..and a spark is created.

Warnings -> / Weed usage / Reader is confused about her feelings? / Ellie’s also confused about her feelings (ig?) / Just full loser Ellie / Really brief Skater!Ellie / eventual smut (probably) / fluff / tension / Little bits of smau / Toxic friendship / (Lmk if I missed anything else!)

WC: 4.8k (longest fic i’ve ever wrote!)

(Not proofread!)

DAILY CLICK 🇵🇸 - (takes like 2 seconds 🩷)

(Ellie)

The loud buzzing of Ellie’s alarm shoots her eyes open and her body halfway up. “F-fuck” She grumbles under her muffled voice. Running her right hand down her face.

Ellie grabs the alarm rested on her left bedside table and she’s finally met with the time 9:36am. “Oh fuck” Ellie says quickly stands up out of her single bed, planted in the corner of her single bedroom dorm. Classes start at 9:45. She has a total of 9 minutes to get dressed, leave her dorm, and run onto campus. Which has her leading to the fact there’s almost 0 fucking way she’s making it on time.

Since Ellie’s already up and out of her bed she runs to her dresser to throw on a pair of boxers and a sports bra which is almost instantly covered by “clean” sweat pants and a nike hoodie. It didn’t smell bad so it was fine!

4 minutes, it only took Ellie 4 minutes to get changed and grabbed her skateboard. She also glances over at the time as it now reads now reads 9:40. So this means her time isn’t “horrible” I mean getting ready in 4 minutes is sorta impressive, at least in her mind? Plus campus shouldn’t take that long, as long as she’s fast.

Ellie grabs her skateboard and leaves her dorm quickly running down the stairs, having basically 0 time to wait around and sit there like a duck for the elevator. And as soon as she’s met with concrete she’s off.

The reason why Ellie being late is such a fucking hassle is because she’s already been late a fair share of times building a reputation for it, when she walks into class and shit it doesn’t go without dirty looks. But it’s a new school year, so she’s tryna live by the corny ass saying “new year new me!” and actually not miss half the classes like last term.

(You)

You’re up early, 8:00 to be exact. You quietly leave your bedroom trying not to wake up the rest of your sorority sisters as you tiptoe through the halls. And just as you thought you were clear, a pair of blue eyes are met with yours.

Emily your best friend since freshman year. You two were like glue through high school, nothing could separate the two of you, sure you had fights and disagreements but nothing seemed like it could break the bond between you two..

As you meet her blue eyes you quickly notice her lips turning into a light smirk. “Why the fuck are you tiptoeing like we’re in a fucking Tom and Jerry episode?” You let out a pity laugh and smile “Oh ha ha…! Maybe because i’m nice and I didn’t wanna wake up all you guys?”

Emily smiles right back at you. “Why are you up so fucking early, thought your class started at 9:45?” You nod your head agreeing with her statement. “It does. I just wanted to be on top of it you know!” Emily shakes her head. “No I don’t fucking know? I don’t wake up a full hour and 45 minutes before my classes.”

You smile, you could ask her why she’s up but you already know her class starts at 8:30 (ew.) so going through more questions seems unethical. “Well!” You trail off then pick back up where you ended. “I need to have a shower sooo” Emily nods and goes back to her room “Yeah yeah!”

꧁✵★✵꧂

The steam fills your bathroom and the air is still warm from your lingering shower.

It was weird today. You don’t usually feel nervous for school, I mean you knew people, people knew you. There was literally nothing for you to feel even the slightest bit of tenseness. Yet it was still just there.?

Your just blaming it on basic nerves, you’re not really “excited” to get back into the grove of school, get a ton of work in before due dates which are are way to fucking fast. But either way you knew you had to suck it up so you pushed yourself out those doors and into your car.

Right on time 9:30. It should only take 10 minutes to drive onto campus and that leaves you with about 5 minutes before the lecture starts. At least that’s what you fucking planned.

But just to your luck. There was an incident, nothing serious. Just ending up backing up the roads. And any fucking other day you wouldn’t have really cared. But you really could not afford to be late on your first day back. You wanted to make sure you’re on top of everything, and the walk of shame into the classroom is probably one of the worst things person could every fucking experience.

Once you make it on campus you speed walk through the halls cutting through people just trying to get to your door. Then everything will be fine and normal, you won’t have to worry about how stup-

A hard thud goes straight into your back

You heard about 3 things fall flat on the ground none of the things being yours. And as shitty as it seems, you were genuinely considering walking away just to get to fucking class..

You’re not a complete dick and you were raised better. So this leads you to reluctantly turn around and your met with? Well you don’t exactly know, she looks familiar but maybe she’s a year younger so you don’t often see her. She has brunet- no, auburn hair, green eyes, and freckles that go all around her face. She looks familiar but you can’t put your finger on it.

You look down and notice a binder, a now slightly cracked phone and skateboard which finally you make the decision to crouch down. The auburn hair girl is mumbling a bunch of sorry’s “F-fuck that’s on me. I-i’m like super late? So I was looking down and sh-“ You cut her off and shake your head picking up her phone and binder as she picks up her skateboard. “You’re good..Fuck I’m late too.” You chuckle looking at her as you stand up, quickly handing her the items she dropped on the ground.

You give out your hand to shake “I’m-“ and as your about to say your name, you’re cut off by her voice “N-no I know you, you sat in front of me last term” You don’t know what really led you to say the next part but what else were you going to say?? You didn’t notice her once, lying seemed like a better approach. “Right! Um what was it…A- no H?” You notices how her eyebrows furrow, the fact you definitely don’t know her name is becoming apparent.

“I-uh Ellie” She shakes your hand.

“Yeah! I was getting there!” You smile looking back at her before talking again.

“We’re you?” She tilts her head talking in a tone laced with a joking sound..just from her demeanour alone you can tell she was kidding.

“I was..” You shift your gaze down to her lips then back up. You weren’t trying to be weird or anything, you just did it on instinct which now on the contrary seems a tad bit creepy since this is literally your first time even talking to her.

Once you meet her eyes again you nervously cleared your throat and starting talking once again. “Well what room are you!”

Ellie notices the quick change of subject and she nervously shakes her head “U-uhh fuck 217 I think…?” You nod and look at her “Fuck, okay shit me too?” Your voice stops then picks back up “Want to walk?”

Ellie perks up and nods. It kept playing in the back of her mind why the fuck you were talking to her. Ellie wasn’t popular, not your level of popularity. Everyone knew you. So the fact you were standing in front of her, talking to her. She was almost confused. Yet she wasn’t complaining..

It only took a few minutes before you reached the classroom door, as you check your phone you see you’re a bit late. Nothing to complain about, it’s only 9:47 so who cares..?

When opening the doors your eyes lock with the seats in the back left corner, there open, and no one is sitting in them. You look at Ellie who seems nervous.

Little do you know in her mind she’s wondering where the fuck she’s going to sit.

The only single seats are in the middle of like 5 fucking people.

Once you notices her eyes are scanning the room and her whole face is plastered with a nervous expression you nudge her lightly.

“Wanna sit over there” You point your finger and her eyes quickly follow it.

She seems confused. Like her brain just did a 360 but she stutters over her words when talking back to you. “Y-you wanna s-sit together?”

“Yeah?” You smile and let out a chuckle.

“R-right! Yeah- Yeah we can sit over there.” She smiles and nods looking at you.

As you sit down your phone buzzes in your left pocket not wasting much time to pull it out. There’s one message Emily. Asking if you made it okay and stuff. Which leads to a mini conversation.

You couldn’t help but feel almost icked out? Emily’s not usually rude so her response was weird, and out of character. You wanted to believe maybe she was making a statement or something but you replied regardless.

She was being so strange, like not her usual self. Which lead your eyebrows to furrow and you were abo-

“You okay?” Ellie’s voice says softly probably noticing the fact your eyebrows are furrowed and your face now showing clear signs of annoyance.

“O-oh yeah!” you reply now embarrassed as you feel blood rush to your cheeks. “Just one of my friends, i’m good though!”

Ellie nods and smiles. “Okay, just wanted to make sure?”

You haven’t really met anyone like Ellie. I guess other then Emily? But it still took months to feel comfortable with her. With Ellie it seems almost easy? Like fast?

Your whole friend group is popular. Which wasn’t horrible? The benefits of being popular is nice? Sorta.. But unfortunately half of your “friend group” is fake.

Talking behind peoples back kinda fake.

You tried not to let it bug you though, you had people in your friend group you obviously loved, so you would just stick in that crowd.

But there was always some anxiety which came with it. Like you didn’t know if things you said would get passed around, so when talking to Ellie, knowing nothing had the chance of somehow going to anyone, else it was refreshing.

The class was finally fucking over and you packed up your laptop and papers.

As you were about to leave you said a quick bye to Ellie trying to be respectful. You didn’t wanna ask for her number because you didn’t want to come across as weird, you two just met? So that could wait?

As you turned around there was a quick “wait!” which was clearly from Ellie.

You just turned around trying to read her expression but as you were she cut off your train of thought. “C-can I uh get your number! I was thinking we could maybe study or something. This math s-shit is like kicking my ass” After her sentence there was a dry awkward chuckle. The fact you didn’t immediately respond worried her

Did she come off as weird?

To pushy?

You’re popular why the fuck-

“Yeah!” You smile walking back over to her.

“Are you busy right now? We can go back to my place and study if you want” You say not breaking eye contact.

Ellie quickly breaks the eye contact handing you her phone before she clears her throat. “W-no! no i’m not busy, right now is good actually” Her voice cracks in the middle of the sentence leading her to clear her throat once again.

You grab her slightly cracked phone and nod..

“K cool, it’s not a long drive and my cars out in the front lot.”

In a car

With you.

Great!

꧁✵★✵꧂

Saying the car ride is awkward is an understatement? Reason number one, you don’t know what to say because you literally just met Ellie.

I mean you’re alright on small talk but what the fuck do you say to someone you met a solid 2 hours ago?

And on the other hand Ellie is Ellie.

She can’t pick up on small talk for the life of her. So when you finally speak it almost feels like a blessing and a curse.

“Sorry about you phone?” You say, both hands still on the steering wheel as you drive.

“Huh?” Fuck this is awkward.

“Your phone, it’s cracked. Sorry?” You say a smile cracking.

“I ran head first into your bag I’m pretty sure that’s on me” Ellie chuckles looking at you as you drive.

“I guess, but maybe if I was walking faster it wouldn’t have happened!” You say glancing over at her before you turn your eyes back to the road.

Ellie’s face turns a light pink as soon as you made split eye contact with her. She’s silently now thanking ever fucking god in the universe that you turned your head before you could notice.

“Maybe but I think that was a sign I shouldn’t walk with my head down” Ellie let’s out a slight laugh.

The silence falls once again neither of you knowing what to says.

“D-“

“Sor-“

Both of speak at the same time a dry chuckle coming from both your lips.

“You go.” Ellie says nodding.

“I was just going to say sorry for not noticing you?” You say clearing your throat anxiously.

“What do you mean?” Ellie says tilting her head still looking at your side profile.

“Like- I sat in front of you for months you know?.. just the fact I didn’t noticed you makes me feel like an egotistical prick?” You say rubbing the back of your neck with your left hand.

Ellie shakes her head at your response. “No! Fuck I barley talked, trust me, you not noticing doesn’t make me have hard feelings” Ellie says quickly, she doesn’t want you to feel guilty for anything.

You just smile at her response and nod. “What we’re you going to say?” She quickly talks “Just gonna ask do you get what the fuck is going on in class”

You quickly laugh and shake your head “Fuck no! I’m actually so ass at math your gonna have to walk me through it.” Ellie smiles and nods. “What makes you think i’m gonna be good at it!” She says with a chuckle.

“Well you have to be good at it because we’re official study partners!” You say before nodding your head. “Official??” Ellie smiles

“Oh yeah, official” You nod and continue nervously. “We’re uh here!” You park the car in front of your sorority.

“I never been to a fucking sorority” Ellie says getting out of the car with her backpack in hand. “No?” You say looking at her. “Nah” She shakes her head “They feel cult-ish?” She laughs causing you to smile and look at her “So you’re joining my cult then?”

“Guess soo” She drags out her ‘so’ dramatically before walking to the two big white doors which leads into the sorority house.

You and Ellie studied for a few hours. Looking outside the sky was now dark. Rather then the bright blue it shined before.

You guys studying was basically just an excuse to talk, you got to know a lot about each other. Ellie opened up to you, you opened up to her.

You haven’t ever had a friendship where you got so comfortable so fast. It’s like the fact you guys met a solid few hours ago, it was completely disregarded. It’s like you connected so fucking fast.

You learned Ellie had two close friends Dina and Jesse. They didn’t go to the same school as you and her, instead they went to one about 30 minutes out. You “learned” she’s painfully shy, which you already got the message as soon as she ran into you.

She let it slip she actually debated talking to you last term but you seemed extremely intimidating which you laughed at. But she was standing her ground, saying like you gave off a bit of scary vibes.

“Okay scary?” You replied laughing

“Scary!” She says looking at you. Both of your guys studying papers are far from filled out, almost completely empty. But to be fair that’s the last thing on your mind.

“I need one fucking example from when I was being ‘scary’” You say defensively looking at her. The two of you are crisscrossed on your queen bed a bit to close considering how much space the both of you had. Both of your knees touching.

“K well- I don’t have a fucking time list of all the times I thought you seemed scary!” Ellie says shaking her head looking at you.

Your hand instinctively falls on her knee “I’m asking for ONE example!” You made sure to emphasize the word one. To point out it was really fucking easy.

Ellie’s whole face heats up and she feels like her body’s on fire causing her to stutter over almost ever other word “I-I d-don’t know l-like one t-time I heard you talking about h-how you were ‘gonna murder him’” She says chuckling to mask the nervousness that’s coursing through her veins.

You try to recall when you said this, it suddenly clicking “Okay wait! No there’s context!” You chuckle and now both of you are closer. It’s like each time a sentence is said, you’re moving further in.

“What fucking context could there be!” Ellie spits out laughing, which causes you to laugh harder.

“I was talking about some dick who used one of my friends!” You laugh your head falling onto Ellie’s shoulder.

“I guess that’s fair?” Ellie’s voice gets quieter. You can her heart beat which to say it’s fast. That’s would be an understatement.

You pull your head off her shoulder and look at her. Her face is pretty pink and you feel like you can ever little detail that revolves around her face. One thing about seeing ever detail, it had a result of your faces being mere inches from each others.

You don’t even know what the fuck led you to do this but you slowly guided your left hand to cuff Ellie’s cheek which now has the both of you to instinctively lean in.

Ellie does the same, manly following your lead as her hand also goes onto your cheek and now your noses brush against each other.

And just as your lips were about to touch a knock hits right against your door.

You and Ellie both quickly flinch back clearing your throat nervously.

You get up faster then her and the person behind the door is no other then Emily. You hadn’t texted her since the whole weird ass messages she sent a few hours ago.

Ellie’s thoughts are now going all over the place. Because you two almost just kissed, a knock breaks it up..and now there’s a girl who in her mind, is way better looking!

Ellie doesn’t wanna think it, but the fact you might have a girlfriend is lurking in the back of her mind. She wouldn’t be surprised to say the least.

“Hey” Emily says eyeing Ellie who is now putting her papers back into her backpack nervously, her hands fumbling over each sheet..

“Hi..?” You say looking at Emily. She’s eyeing Ellie with a look you haven’t noticed before. And as you were going to say something along the lines of “Do you need something” but Emily’s voice talks over your thoughts.

“Can we talk” She says now meeting your eyes.

“I mean I have someone ove-“ But before you can finish your sentence Ellie intervenes. “It’s- It’s fine i’m heading out anyway. You know it’s dark..? So?”

“I- uh, alright. You want me to drive you?” You say looking at Ellie which she almost instantly shakes her head “I’m not tryna be a burden i’ll just skate back, my dorms on campus…so i’ll uh, i’ll be chill..” Ellie says grabbing her skateboard which was planted in your room. Right after Ellie grabs her skateboard she already is almost out of the door. But you quickly talk.

“Just text me when you get to your dorm, so I know you got back safe and shit.” You say softly.

And just like that she’s gone, and your standing awkwardly in a room with Emily. When the front door finally shuts she got the sudden urge to talk. “Ellie?”

You nod confused. “Uh- yeah..? We were just studying…”

Emily nods looking at you. “Why though?”

“Sorry..?” You say now even more confused then you were previously.

“Like why hang out with her?” Emily says looking at you.

You think she’s joking so you laugh sarcastically “Fuck off?”

“I’m being for real, Williams, she’s like weird dude... That’s literally all anyone talked about when she was in my class.” Emily now chuckles and you shake your head.

“She’s not even weird?” You say defensively. “Have you talked to her?”

Emily shakes her head fast “I don’t wanna fucking talk to her?? Like I said she’s weird.”

You’ve never seen Emily act so blatantly rude, like she had her own opinions but she knew whether or not she should announce them. Plus! She’s never even met Ellie yet she’s judging her so easily with no second thought. You tried to push it behind you, trying to end the conversation with a quick “I gotta go to bed so. We can talk later.”

Emily scoffs “Great! Now you’re fucking being weird!”

“Im not even being weird! You’re just being rude, i’m not gonna listen you talk shit about someone you haven’t even had a conversation with!”

Emily just shakes her head “I’m hardly talking shit shit. I’m just saying what I heard, fuck.” The fact she’s trying to justify her shitty behaviour and actions just makes you more annoyed.

“K great talk Emily. I gotta get sleep” You say before shutting the door with a hard slam as Emily gets out of your room.

It’s been a few weeks since that whole situation, Emily’s been okay? She apologized and shit but everything is still a bit tense?.. Like she lets out mini sighs when you say your going to hang out with Ellie.

You assumed this was because maybe she felt left out, but every time you even attempted to ask her she always shook her head and replied with “Eh sorta busy with homework”

So you dropped in, she was clearly going through some weird ass phase with you new friendship and you just wanted her to push through with it. You didn’t feel like guiding Emily through it all.

And then on the other hand

Ellie

neither of you mentioned what happened in your room that night, or what almost happened? It wasn’t relevant, some friends almost kiss! You two almost kissed…? And it was nothing important.

Not something to jeopardize your new friendship. So you dropped it. And you internally prayed she would too.

Ellie on the other hand. She was thinking about the moment constantly, like it was a virus infiltrating every single free fucking thought she had. She doesn’t know if the blue eyed girl was your girlfriend, but at the end of the day she didn’t wanna push the subject. You hadn’t talked about it so it wasn’t something she was willing to bring up. Seemed better to drop it!

And here you are, laying down on your bed extremely bored with nothing to fucking do. Your mind was just wondering, thinking about class, school, Elli-

There’s buzzing coming from your bedside table and you quickly grab you phone.

Ellie.

You laughed at your phone. Ellie’s jokes were actually so bad it made them funny. You kept texting her no plan of stopping, but then she tells you she has a little something!

You smile at her messages quickly following up by closing your phone. You didn’t waste time to grab you car keys quickly leaving your sorority house.

꧁✵★✵꧂

The car ride wasn’t all that bad, it was nice knowing that you’ll get to be with Ellie again. Plus it was literally only 10 minutes so when you get there you quickly park and rush to the campus dorms.

As you go into the building you take the left to the elevators, shortly entering before you click floor 2.

As it stops and the doors open and you lead yourself to Ellie’s dorm which you’ve now been in a few times.

After knocking it literally doesn’t take long before she answers..her hairs messy, a few strands down her face and she gives you a quick smile. One thing you instantly noticed was the strong scent of weed that exits her room. “You’ve been busy” you say sarcastically giving her a quick smile.

Her eyes are red and she’s clearly faded. “Soooo busy!” She says sarcastically before it’s followed by yet another smile.

You go into her room and sit on her little single bed that’s planted right in the corner of her bedroom.

She passes you an already lit joint which you take a drag from.

“I wanna ask you something?” Ellie says as she takes the joint back.

You nod letting out a short “hm?”

“You obviously don’t have to say yes” she starts dragging her words a mix of nervousness and being high.

“Okay..?” You say nodding, you don’t know what she’s gonna ask but either way you’re nervous.

“Jesse and Dina, they rent cabin every year. And like my not tryna really third wheel so I was wondering…if maybe like-?” Ellie says shifting her gaze down into her lap.

“When is it?” You ask looking at her.

Ellie’s almost surprised you didn’t immediately turn it down so she quickly clears her throat. “Fuck sorry- It’s in a week. You don’t have to com-“

“Yeah I’ll come?” You say, the high now finally clicking in. Ellie’s heart is skipping right now but she quickly pushes it down.

You two are fucking friends. Just friends.

“Sick. O-okay cool. I’ll just like text you everything you’ll need and shit. And it’s like an hour drive so me, you, Jesse and Dina can all just like fucking drive together.”

“Okay cool!” You smile.

You and Ellie. Are going to a cabin together.

Nothing to be nervous about…!

———————————————————

A/N -> Hii! I hope you enjoyed this chapter! I already have a full plot layout for the second one.

This might only be two parts simply because I might be able to fit everything I want with enough detail in just a singular part.

I plan on adding some angst in the next chapter ☹️ (so ig be ready for that!)

I also wanna really emphasize Emily is not homophobic! 😭

I was reading some of this chapter and it sorta seemed implied she was at least a little homophobic, calling Ellie “Weird” and shit, but it’s not because Ellie gay! I’m pretty sure most people might be able to clue on why she’s not to fond of Reader and Ellie’s ‘friendship’ but that’ll be for the next chapter.

I hope you enjoyed!

Taglist : @bready101 @onlinelesbo @amberputh @seraphicsentences @a-little-bit-of-everybody @zoehxnji @cyb3rd0nguh @graviewaviee

[wonysugar]

keep talking | aeri uchinaga

synopsis : your best friend, aeri, was on tour with her fellow aespa members. she missed you a whole lot though, so you guys get on call and she asks you to talk about your day, to ramble, and to just keep on talking<3

pairing : idol!giselle x fem!reader

genre : best friends to fwb, phone call, smut!!

tags : phone sex, giselle is pretty subby in this, so yknow reader is kinda dommy, long distance, bffs to fwb, fingering, clit rubbing, dirty talk, you talk her through it ehehehe, aeri is still an aespa member, they’re on tour, and aeri has practice later help, what a bummer :((

warning : none just horny smut lol

word count : around 1.2k

a/n: this has been in my drafts since july,,, SO sorry,, but anyways i hope you enjoy this :] thank you

“a-s-a-p, babyy, hurry up, don’t be lazyy”

you heard the ringtone from your cellphone, immediately jumping on your bed from excitement as you quickly accepted the anticipated call, not even bothering to read the contact name. you’ve been planning to call her ever since she’s left the country, but she’s just been so endlessly busy recently, you couldn’t help but miss her.

immediately greeted by the voice of your best friend, aeri, a playful “heyyyy.” is what came out of your speaker.

“heyyyyy.” you sang back just as playfully, earning a giggle from her. “how is it in the uk? you having fun?” you ask, occupying your fingers by twirling and playing with your hair as she hummed. her and her band, aespa, were currently on tour. today, they landed in london, and were now getting ready for their concert tomorrow.

“it’s fun!! we landed only a few hours ago but i’m already loving the city so farrr. i went grocery shopping with ning earlier and, it was like.. so fun for no reason??” she told you, you could visualize her smile just from the way she spoke. “it would be so much more fun if you were here though, y/n..” she added, now probably pouting.

you chucked, “it’s okay, aeriii. it’s not like we’re completely separated, we have each other’s number. worst case scenario, we text a couple of times in a day.”

“but it’s not the sameee.” she whined, “seeing your best friend in person and seeing them through a screen is not the same thing at all.”

you tried reassuring her that the tour wasn’t gonna last that long, and that you both were gonna hang out as soon as it was over. she eventually agreed and shrugged the feeling off, asking about your day and how you’ve been.

“to be honest, it’s also been kinda lonely without you so i’ve just been at home in my freetime, sometimes going on walks. though i should say! listening to your music while i’m at work does help, like girl.. that shit gets me so hyped up like m-m-mamba-“ you rambled on and on, confident that she was listening to everything you were saying due to the responsive mhms she let out.

they progressively became less frequent, however, and then, at some point, they just completely stopped. you started worrying, wondering if the signal was gone or something..

“you there?” you ask.

“h-huh? y-yeah i’m still here.” she replied with a slightly shaky voice.

that didn’t sound very convincing.. was she feeling okay? before you could ask, a small noise escaped her lips. a noise that sounded like… a whimper. a whimper that was trying to held back.

“you know, we can call some other time if you don’t feel too well right no-“

“fuck y/n please don’t hang up��� keep talking about whatever i don’t care but just.. please k-keep talking. i’m sorry, i’m listening i p-promise.” she interrupted in such a desperate voice, kinda whining in the process as she was breathing heavily into the mic.

you were dumbfounded. this was all so strange.. was she in danger or something? why would she ask you to just keep talking if she was, though? you just sat there for a moment, silent, a confused look plastered on your face.

until it clicked. oh.

oh.

the heavy panting.. the shake in her voice.. begging for you to keep talking.. the slight whimpering??? your stomach pleasantly twisted at the thought, was she actually..?

a smirk began to form.

“aeri..” you pause, contemplating actually asking the question. then,

“are you touching yourself right now?”

no response, just a desperate sigh. she was probably trying to think of an excuse. oh that poor girl. “oh my god you totally are.” you said, feeling like teasing her some more.

“i’m sorry y/n, i - fuck - i just missed you so- mmh..so much i couldn’t help it i’m sorry-.” she whined out.. you were imagining the look she had on her face right now, head probably buried in the pillow.

yet in another whiny voice, “this was a bad i-idea i have practice later and.. fuckfuckfuck-“ is what comes out of her mouth, almost inaudible due to how quiet she was being, careful as to not let the other members next door overhear.

you couldn’t lie, you weren’t expecting her to act like this. she never would say kinky shit to you directly, let alone do it in your company. you guys were close, so you talked about sexual things sometimes, but it was all in good fun. having her masturbate on a call got you unexpectedly and indescribably turned on.

“fuck practice aeri, describe what you’re doing.” you asked, getting undeniably hornier by every small noise she let out.

she exhaled, “i’m - ah - fingering m-myself..”

you slowly unbuttoned your jeans as you were listening to her response, “with how many fingers?” you add.

“t-two..” she panted yet again, your hand already getting into your panties and closer to your cunt.

“are you imagining they’re mine?” you spread apart your pussy lips, gently rubbing on your folds, feeling how wet you already were from her. you exhaled from relief.

she whimpered and squirmed at your words, knowing her, she was most definitely feeling embarrassed right now. then, she let out a needy mhm in response to your question as she was pumping her fingers in and out of herself.

“words, baby.” you added.

“fuck y/n - yes i am..” she quietly moaned out.

“good girl.” you praise, earning a cute little whimper from her. fuck, you couldn’t help it, hearing her pretty moans and knowing that she was touching herself to your voice made you lose it.

you inserted your own fingers into your aroused cunt, letting out a sigh of relief as you were finally doing something about the pool that was growing in between your legs ever since you figured out that your best friend was masturbating to your voice. holy shit, not even the greatest porno ever made could get you this aroused.

then, you heard a chuckle from the other side of the line. “d-did i get you horny?” she teased.

“no shit you did.” you shakily confessed as you could hear her quietly moan, “you sound so good.” you added.

“fuuck i wish i was there with you right now.” she confessed back, her voice obviously still very shaky.

“what would you - mmh - do if y-you were?” you wanted her to explain every little detail, to ramble on and on about what she was thinking of right now.

she slowed down on the fingering, as if it was really going to maximize her thinking, “w-well.. for starters..

i’d probably pin down you on the bed.. get on top of you and m-make out with you, slowly letting my - god - hands roam your entire body as i move my mouth further down. feeling the pressure from your knee in between my thighs..”

her voice started getting shakier while your cunt got just as wet hearing her describe the scene, god you needed to see her face, you needed to see how she was probably squirming at the sensation, how desperate she was getting just from imagining all of it. you needed to see it for yourself.

“aeri.” you shakily let out.

before she could even choke out a response,

“can you get on facetime?”

[generalllimaginesss]

"If the entire human population was in front of me, I'd still choose you” with Jack.

I can only imagine what it would be like to have fans attack you if you were publicly dating him. I feel like Jack is so conscious of this. And he’s just soft boyfriend Jack trying to block out the unnecessary noise.

Maybe they just went public and she’s getting a lot of hate and it’s making her insecure. And Jack reminds her that it’s just them against the world and the only people whose opinions matter are their family and friends who love her.

Warnings: self depreciation, insecurities, self image issues, etc. Please don't read if you're not in a good headspace!!!

This is probably my favorite thing that I’ve written. I hope you like it as much as I enjoyed writing it!!

plus size! reader x Jack Hughes

••

You knew that dating somebody in the limelight would have its challenges. Hell, dating an average person was hard. But nothing could have prepared you for the magnitude of hate that hit as soon as Jack went public with your relationship.

It wasn't like the relationship was new. The two of you had been dating for almost a year before he decided to post you on his Instagram. You let Jack set the pace since he was used to the attention. He could let things go in one ear and out the other a lot easier than you could. He was almost conditioned to be able to do that. You, on the other hand, took everything very personally. Every comment about your weight, about what you wore, about how Jack looked miserable with you, they all hit you like a ton of bricks.

You didn't understand why all of these people were coming at you saying so many horrible things, but Jack tried his best to ease your mind and remind you that at the end of the day it was you and him.

He did a really good job at this normally, but he was away on a roadie for a few days and things began to get really bad. This started when you saw a fan account for Jack post something about how Jack downgraded from Sienna to you and all of the comments agreeing.

It was like a rabbit hole...once you clicked on that post it led you to many others. They all made you feel like shit, but when people started commenting on your body, saying that they "didn't know Jack dated plus size girls," it hurt. Your body was yours. It wasn't like you could just zip it off and find a new one, but if you could you would, just to shut the comments up.

You spent the 3 days Jack was gone in a really dark depression. No laundry was done, you hadn't showered, and you barely could make yourself get out of bed to brush your teeth. Dishes piled in the sink, but you couldn't make yourself do them. You knew the signs of your depression, but you welcomed them in a way, almost like a coping mechanism. Not allowing people to see you was the only way the haters couldn't get new material. Was it a healthy way to cope? Obviously not, but it was what worked in the moment.

As soon as Jack walked through the front door, returning from the games, he could tell something wasn't right. You always kept up with the chores when he was away, normally making the house spotless before he got back. So when he saw the state of the kitchen and eventually the rest of the house, he knew something was off.

When he walked into the bedroom and saw that you were pretty much in the same spot he left you in he immediately dropped his bags and climbed into the bed with you, forcing you to look at him.

He gently shifted your body to face him, cupping your cheek gently with his hand.

"Baby, what happened," He made note of the streaks that stained your face, probably from countless hours of crying. He wanted to make them disappear immediately. You were his happy-go-lucky, carefree girl. You danced around the house all the time, singing whatever song was playing. This side of you was uncharted territory that he wanted to take away so bad.

"I just need you to hold me," You began to hyperventilate, worried that if he didn't hold you that he would leave you. Even though that would never in a million years cross his mind. But he did as you asked, and whether it was for 5 minutes or 30 minutes, he didn't know. He held you until you pulled away.

"Can we talk about it?" Jack asked, pulling the hair that crusted on your cheek from the tears out of your face. He treated you like you were fragile, and you hated that he felt that way.

"It's just the comments, Jack. I'm already insecure sometimes and these people come at me in so many horrible ways," You began to explain, loose tears streaming down your face, but you were composed otherwise.

"They compare me to Sienna, and God, I know I'm not as pretty as her. They tell me I'm fat and that they didn't know you dated "fat" girls. It's just insane. Do they not realize that I actually am a real person with real emotions? Do they know that I've believed, at some point in time, the things they are saying? I've worked so hard to get to this place where I'm at, to love who I am, and within the span of 3 days they just tear it all down," You let the words just flow from your mouth, whatever thought that comes to mind is voiced to Jack.

"Baby, they don't care. They don't care because they're jealous," He tries to soothe you, but it almost made you mad. Not at Jack, but at the whole situation.

"What the fuck are they jealous of? My thighs that I cover with leggings and pants so that I won't have to go through the pain of them chafing? Are they jealous of the fucking stretch marks that go up my stomach, so I refuse to wear regular bikini bottoms? I mean what the fuck, do they want my anxiety and depression? I will gladly give them that..." The tears were beginning to pick up, but Jack continued to rub your back, waiting to get the chance to speak again.

"I know you could have any girl you wanted. It makes me sick when I see some blonde walk past that looks like she stepped out of a magazine because I know that's what you deserve. You don't deserve this. You're Jack fucking Hughes," You looked at him, your lip quivering. You were going to say something else, but Jack put his finger on your lips, gently stopping you from continuing.

"You gotta stop that. I can't let you keep putting yourself down like this, not when I love you with my whole fucking heart," He began.

"First off, I had that. I had whatever you consider a girl walking out of a magazine is. Look how that turned out. It didn't, did it? You don't look like Sienna, and I'm so fucking glad because I don't want her kind of beautiful. I want your kind. I want to see all of the things on your body that show me that you lived. I don't want some manufactured cookie-cutter girlfriend. I want somebody that nobody else has," He pulled you in for a hug, continuing to talk while placing kisses ever so gently on your cheek and neck, looking out the window at the busyness that was the outside world. All he could think about was how you didn't see what he saw. Why couldn't you see it?

"Baby, I want you to realize something. If the entire human population was in front of me, I'd still choose you. Without a second thought, with no regrets. Every. Single. Time. You have such a special relationship with my brothers and that means the absolute world to me. They love you so much. My parents tell me I should marry you anytime that you come up in the conversation. The entire team has commented on how much happier I am with you. And if I'm being completely honest, at the end of the day I don't give a damn what anybody else has to say because it's me and you until the end. Do you understand me?" He broke the hug, cupping your face with both hands and wiping at the tears with his thumbs.

"I love you," You whisper, your voice long gone by now.

Jack pulls your forehead toward his lips, kissing it for a few seconds before letting your head go.

"I love you, too. More than you, or anybody else, will ever know. Now, I think we could go for some cleaning karaoke, yeah? I'll wash the dishes if you'll dry them," He poked at your side, trying, and succeeding, in forcing a grin on your face.

"Only if we can get a shower together afterwards," You bargained, taking in the beautiful boy.

"Deal," He says and drags you off to the kitchen, connecting his phone the the speaker and blaring Dierks Bentley's new song "Beer at My Funeral," occasionally twirling you in a circle.

The water may or may not have gotten everywhere since Jack decided it was a good idea to spray you with the hose that connected to the sink, but he enjoyed every second that he got chased by you around the island.

Once the dishes were put up and the shower washed away the remaining bit of your depression, Jack couldn't help but to just admire you. He promised himself then that he would remind you so often of how beautiful you were so that would be the only words ringing through your head, taking up any space that the hate may have. Because it was true. You were the most beautiful and precious thing that had ever walked into his life, and he'd be damned if anyone made you feel otherwise.

*

*

*

*

[juiles]

Sick bug

Requested: no i needed this for me

Summary: i needed to feel comforted at the fact i’ve had to work for the past 3 days despite being sick because of a shit co-worker.

Type: fluff

Pairing: wandanat x reader

Wanna be added to my tag list? Press here.

Master list here.

Request form here.

(A/N: this is a really shitty short sickfic because i need it rn)

—————————————————————

Today was like any other day for y/n. She had to get up and go to work however this morning, it felt like she had been hit by a semi truck. Her limbs felt heavy, her head full, her nose stuffed, her body aches. She had gotten the bug that had been going around the kids at her daycare. The only problem being that she had to go in for numbers so despite feeling like garbage, she had a shower, got herself dressed, grabbed herself a coffee and pushed on with her day. Arriving at work, her boss (who also happened to be a best friend of hers) mentioned she looked rough and asked if she needed the day off. Y/n agreed however at the time, her bosses phone went off and her other co-worker called in to take the day off to do some schoolwork she had put off doing all weekend which left y/n there to cover her closing shift as well as her own mid shift.

She lasted the day before she trudged home and immediately swapped her work clothes for some sweats and a baggy shirt that belonged to Natasha before she balled herself up into her covers and fell asleep. A couple hours later she was woken by her boss, Talan.

“Hey kid. I need you to come in again tomorrow. Sorry, i feel bad but you know how it is with Tonya.” Talan said, receiving a soft hum from the girl on the phone as a response.

There was shuffle on y/n’s side before she heard a raspy voice. “Y/n will not be in for the next two days. I’m sorry but she needs to rest.” There was a click on the phone.

“Tasha…?” A groggy voice said causing Natasha to look down at the sleeping woman in front of her.

“Hi detka. Go back to sleep. I’m here. Wanda is just warming up the heating pad.” The red head said as she sidled into bed with her partner, causing the brunette to bury herself into the muscular arms of her girlfriend.

She got woken up not long after to someone rubbing her arm softly. “Detka… you need to wake up to take some meds…” She heard a voice whisper in a soothing Sokovian accent.

“No… sleepy…” Y/n mumbled burrowing herself further into the Russians arms trying to escape Wanda.

“I know detka once your done, you can sleep all you want… open wide…” Wanda soothed, slowly coaxing the sick woman into looking up at her with a pitiful look and a small whimper. “There’s my pretty girl…” Her finger soothed the wrinkled skin between her eyebrows, slowly releasing the pout she had been given. “Put away your pout detka… oh wow… you’re burning up…”

A grumbled noise came from y/n before they both heard Natasha chuckle softly. “Listen to witchy moya lyubov. You know it’ll help…”

“Open your mouth… there we go…” The witch helped the daycare worker take the meds before releasing her to go back to sleep. “All done malyshka. Now it’s time to sleep.” She laid back down with the woman and all three fell asleep quickly.

[itsangelll]

ℳℴ𝓋ℯ𝒹 ℴ𝓃？

angst to fluff

warnings:none

2010 era!

A/n: I wanna give huge credits to @bunniesthoughts thank you for helping me with this me and her made this together we hope you guys enjoy <3

minors can interact

word count:1k

“GET OUT THEN” I said my voice getting louder by the minute, Tom’s eyes were getting more teary and with that Tom pushed past me and stormed out of the house. Hours pass by Tom hadn’t come back yet “shit pick up pick up please” I tried calling him but no answer my mind was overclouding with thoughts my anxiety was getting worse no text no calls at all.

-time skip

It’s been weeks and tom still hasn’t come back, I’m trying not too overthink anything but it keeps creeping up in the back of my mind. So to take my mind off things, I go sit down and turn on the tv to mtv and I see pictures and videos of Tom and some girl named Anna “what the fuck” I feel tears sting the corner of my eyes, all of the overthinking came true, it wasn’t just a thought it was all real life. I need to talk to him asap.

and the best way was to show up to their concert it took me ages to get there but I made it finally, people were crowded fans screaming and yelling. They came out of the tour bus, my life flashed before my eyes, The rumours were true his arm snug around her waist her beautiful eyes he moved on already?

I felt sick to my stomach, Tom saw me his face was shocked but I didn’t care I ran not daring to look back I could hear him yelling my name and running after me. My eyes were perking up with tears I felt like I was going to collapse. I ended up falling over my knees were bruised my hands were shaking Tom finally caught up and he kneeled down infront of me, “Y/n I didn’t want you to find out like this.” His voice was trembling it sounded like he was about to cry, “You never really loved me did you” my voice was breaking I couldn’t help it, he cupped my face in his hands his dark brown eyes staring into me “I’m sorry but after that fight I didn’t know what to do I thought we were broken up” he said his voice with unbreakable emotion I looked away. We just sat in silence not even saying a word till his twin brother and the rest of the band started calling out to him he got up and walked off.

-time skip

A few weeks had passed me and Tom haven’t spoken at all I see photos of them everyday together, but today I got invited to a interview with Tom to talk about why broke up and how it happened. I didn’t feel like going because the media would’ve twisted my words but then I changed my mind I mean it’s best to get my feelings out? After I got ready I left my apartment and went to the interview. When I got there the interviewer was really nice and told me how what was going to happen, I looked around and I didn’t see Tom anywhere which was off cause he’s never shows up late.

The Interviewer sat me down she asked me a couple of questions about how I knew Tom how we started dating, asked me about their music and everything. Then she asked this “Y/n I know this must be hard for you but would you ever want to try and works out thing with Tom?”

I swear I couldn’t hear her for a second I felt sick, I took a deep breath “I hope I can, him and I instantly click and at the end of the day I miss him heaps”. I said my voice cracking a bit, she nodded after a little while of what seemed like hours the interview was wrapped up and I was on my walking home till I heard someone yelling out to me.

I turned around. It was Tom he came up to me catching his breath it looked like he was gonna collapse Christ “Y/n I saw your interview and there’s so much I wanna say but I can’t say it here”. “Huh? What do you me-“ he put a hand over my mouth and handed me a piece of paper he smiled at me then walked away.

I watch tom walk away, as I grip the piece of paper in my hand once he’s out of sight I open the paper “meet at the lake at 6”- tom I look at the note confused as why he wanted to meet, I mean I’ve seen he has a girlfriend, but I shrug and I get into my car driving to our old spot.

I see Tom sitting on the hood of his car lighting up a cigarette. I park and get out walking up to him “hey” I say softly trying not to startle him “hey.. I wanna talk with you if that’s okay”, he says as he gets off the hood of his car throwing away his cigarette I nod letting him know that I’m listening. “listen I know you saw me with her but truly I didn’t want that to happen, I miss you I don’t know why I didn’t come back and went to go with her. I thought we were done but I miss you.” Tom says as his voice starts to crack.

I go to speak but Tom stops me, “I broke up with her..I wanna give us another try, you were my everything” he says as his eyes start to go glossy and so do mine. “alright I’ll give us another chance” Tom looks at me and a smile forms on his face as he grabs me and pulls me into a tight hug, putting his face in my neck.

“I love you so much meine liebe I promise this will never happen again” I nod as I listen to him pulling away as a tear drips down my cheek “I love you too” I whisper softly as I lean up and softly kiss his lips and lay my head on his chest.

A/n: i hope you guys enjoyed me and @bunniesthoughts loved making this go check her out!! once again thank you for helping me make this I couldn’t have done without you. Anyways bye cuties mwah <3

[sickness-stricken]

Analyzing Lily Orchard losing her fucking mind in real time

@lily-is-a-gooner has the post debunking the fact that this event was not staged, but I wanted to go over some of the noteworthy things I think are worth dissecting. Strap in, this one’s probably gonna be long.

Video link for anyone playing along at home:

[3:15] “You’ve got these things causing fucking car crashes, cuz they go off in people’s cars, startle them and cause them to veer into oncoming traffic!”

I’ll need to see a source on that before I believe it. Looking up “car crashes caused by amber alert” only brings up instances of kidnapped children that the amber alerts were for being involved in a car crash. Wouldn’t there be some study showing that reports for car crashes have an uptick within the hour of an EAS alarm being sent out?

[3:26] “AND THEY SEND THEM ALL THE GODDAMN TIME! […] You’re gonna get one of these things once a fucking week!”

No you won’t. Like. That is factually false. Excluding the test that just got sent out this month I get MAYBE one every three months. They are NOT common.

I thought maybe I was the outlier in that I live in Middle-of-nowhere, Alberta so I asked my Ontarian friend if they were more common there (you know, given the larger population) and what do ya know

[3:42] “We had one of these come out when Covid was happening! Like, Stephen, we all knew Covid was deadly, we didn’t need you to blow up everyone’s phones over it!”

I was ready to clown on this given I thought she was referring to Stephen Harper who hasn’t been PM since 2015 but I THINK she’s referring to Stephen McNeil who was the Premier of Nova Scotia in 2020. I don’t personally remember that alert going out (but I also have the memory of an anemic goldfish so that isn’t a high bar to clear) so maybe it was only a NS thing but I would assume for a national state of emergency that would be sent out by the NPAC? So, all parts of Canada? What would that have to do with Premier McNeil?

Don’t take this part super seriously I’m mostly just spitballing, this very well could just be an honest slip up on Lily’s part

[5:52] “I get amber alerts for shit that happens in Yarmouth! That’s a 3 hour drive away from me, the fuck you want me to do?!”

Hey, you know how earlier you said the amber alerts are usually about kids that wander off or are taken by a parent in a CUSTODY DISPUTE? Ya think that parent taking the kid is gonna STICK AROUND? They very well could be in Halifax by the time the alert actually goes out depending on how far the parent is willing to go. I myself jumped provinces to escape an abusive situation, that’s not exactly a long drive in comparison.

[6:36] (I’m gonna paraphrase this but essentially she’s talking about how 911 got swarmed with calls just bitching about the alarm going off in the first place and when they said not to abuse the line Lily calls this hypocrisy)

Lily the alerts are reporting imminent emergencies. If a kid (or really anyone) goes missing and they aren’t found in 48 hours it’s safe to assume they’re GONE. Calling 911 to complain about the alarm waking you up (despite them not being responsible for it) clogs up the lines when an ACTUAL report could be trying to get through. This is not comparable to a province using an emergency line for something that needs immediate attention just because it doesn’t affect you directly.

Feel like it’s also worth noting I’ve never seen anyone who wasn’t a conservative complain about the alerts at night. If it’s really that much of an issue you can turn your phone off at night (which you really should do anyway, it’s better for the battery) and get an alarm clock. If you know this to be an issue for you and the solution is completely within your control it is your responsibility to avoid this specific issue.

[7:46] (paraphrasing again: Lily is accusing people who are okay with the alerts going off at night of being hypocrites because they’ll just click their phones off and go back to sleep)

Again, this reeks of self-centrism and I’m once again unsure if Lily is aware that people who aren’t her exist. Yes, the person who acknowledges night alerts as a good thing may dismiss the notification. However, they acknowledge that people working night shift, such as hospital workers or those working at 24hr drive thrus/gas stations ARE awake and able to keep an eye out for certain descriptors, licence plates etc. This is not a hypocritical stance.

[9:10] “I can’t do anything while [the alarm] is playing. I just have to clap my hands over my ears and wait for it to end.”

…no??? You can literally swipe it away like any other notification and the noise stops. What are you talking about.

[9:30] (Not typing allat: Lily uses Japan as an example of how they use different alarms for different emergencies)

Oh hey look! Lily saying Japan did something good for once!

Gotta love how she picked the one country that doesn’t have an alarm that’s ominous as hell because literally almost every other country has an alarm that is just as if not more shit-in-pants worthy than Canada’s if it was played abruptly and at max volume

Maybe this is just personal opinion but I think it’s a good thing that all emergencies are regarded at the same level here. If we had a different, lessened alarm for when a child goes missing then people could immediately go “cool don’t care” instead of reading it at least once quickly to see what it says.

Alright that’s it for me I didn’t have a closing statement I’m gonna go take a nap… with my phone off

[wafflerageface]

Top 5: Favorite Durgetash headcanons

Like my personal headcanons or ones I’ve seen?

Personal headcanons:

1. Durgetash were head over heels in love with each other, even if they expressed love in ways that seemed fucked up to everyone else. They were two incredibly lonely people that just clicked in all the right ways to make each other feel like at least one person out there cared about them, and they did.

2. Enver Gortash is autistic/ADHD and Durge was his favourite person to info dump on. I mean look at him. My wife is autistic and they have very similar mannerism and ways of thinking. (In the logical sense anyway my wife hasn’t killed anyone) Especially with how his parents described how brilliant he was even as a child, I can just imagine child Enver coming off as annoying and needy to everyone around him because he wanted to talk about his inventions and no one cared to listen. Durge, on the other hand, grew up in a temple where they were expected to behave a certain way and was essentially treated as a puppet, even if they could’ve called the shots how they wanted to. I can’t imagine being a child taken into a murder cult and feeling anything but fear, even if you don’t need to be afraid. Durge knew nothing but blood and death for years, and along comes this funky little guy that wants to rant for hours about the kind of metal he wants to build his steel watch out of?? Yeah. They loved that shit.

3. Enver is a pansexual monster fucker that will love your Durge no matter what. This man has been so lonely for so long that I genuinely think he doesn’t care what package the love comes in so long as he isn’t being used anymore. You’re a Dragonborn? Cool he can work with that. A tiefling? Excellent he’s gonna use those horns as handlebars. A cute half-elf that has a surprising appetite for blood? Absolutely and can he join the next blood bath please?? He loves seeing you work

4. Durge did not want to be Bhaal’s scion. I know a lot of people don’t like how the Durge opening makes it seem like they’re trying to “erase” that Durge was evil, but I view it more as perhaps Durge was never willing. Just because you’re fathered by a murder god doesn’t make you a murderer, and amnesia doesn’t really change who a person is, they just forget. Your brain literally just won’t let you recall memories. Now personally, I’m all for if you think your Durge hates everything about being the Chosen, or (like for my Durge) you think they just hated not being in control of themselves or allowed to kill as they please. Both are great mechanics for a well-rounded character, but I really think either way, Durge hated being what their father made them into, and would have jumped the moment they could escape. The prayer of forgiveness? A classic here’s my fake apology abusive parent so I can spare myself more abuse.

5. Enver whored himself out as a young man to get lots of power and money and he hated every second of it. We know it’s canon that he slept around a lot before the present day setting of the game, but I don’t think he ever enjoyed it. Not really. He grew up in the HoH where he was beaten and abused and nearly tortured to death on many occasions. He finally escapes with nothing to his name and once again he’s at the mercy of whoever he can convince to give him food, shelter, money, etc for the price of his body. This man absolutely has two wolves inside of him and one is a god complex and the other is an ego so crippled and fragile it’s a wonder he ever comes out of the house. When he meets Durge, he’s willing to manipulate them however he must to secure their alliance. He’s done it before, he’ll do it again. I think he’s so very surprised when Durge catches feelings back, when they go out of their way to take care of him, compliment him, even if it’s in their own fucked up fashion. I think the real sticking point for him would be when he and Durge are attending some high society to do together and they run into an old fling. Enver being upset and uncomfortable enough that they leave early and he tells Durge everything. The next day, and the following weeks, he finds severed hands, fingers, bloodied jewellery, all placed at his desk or beside his bed and he can’t help but smile. Durge bringing him pieces of their kills like a cat is so endearing to him.

I’ve got so many more but I think those are my favourite.

[malleusthehammer]

Breaking the News to Sasaki

LISTEN. LISTEN. i can’t find a good gif for this. but @ghostygloom is the idea man for this and i am in LOVE with this

Warnings: None. Pure baby fluff!

Who: Kojiro Sasaki (RoR/SNV)

Type: Headcanons, and a bit of a drabble!

This man has been HEAD OVER HEELS for you since you both met.

He tries his damn best to be the best boyfriend across the seven seas.

He saw you while he was traveling, and just never left!

Of course you didn’t mind it- i mean cmon.

You lived alone and did all the work yourself. You didn’t mind, it was just life for you.

He was always there to help carry firewood, help pick veggies, and even try to darn clothes

let’s just say- he sucks at that.

He absolutely loves it when you watch him train. It makes him feel special

OKAY OKAY ENOUGH DOMESTIC HCS HEHWHA

After you two had been together for a while, you had been getting quite sick in the early hours of the morning.

Since Sasaki is such a deep sleeper- he doesn’t even realize what’s going on.

give this man a break he has NO EXPERIENCE WHAT SO EVER

after a couple weeks it finally clicks in your head

holy shit your pregnant?!

At this point you’ve been having more fatigue lately and the work around the house is piling up

Sasaki is SO worried about you

he’s always by your side, bringing you food which he tries to cook but fails

He’s asking questions left and right “Are you okay? Should i call a doctor? are you gonna die??”

and of course, you have to calm the poor man down.

you just say you’ve probably caught a nasty stomach bug

One day, he comes back in from training and sees you pacing in the livingroom

The door let out a whine as it closed, a sigh following it. Sasaki wiped his forehead with a cloth, setting his katana down. He had been outside for a long while, leaving you to doing some thinking.

“Tsuma? Where are ya? I’ve missed you-!”

His smile widened as he stepped through the doorway, seeing you hold your stomach with your face red. You glanced at him before immediately looking down again.

“Kojiro..”

Sasaki knew this was serious. You hadn’t called him by his nickname. Was something wrong? did he do something? could he fix it?

“Yes, my dear..? Is everythin’ alright?”

You bit your lip as you blinked away some tears and walked towards him. He quickly grabbed you, pulling you into a hug. He always smelt like sweat, with a bit of pine. But it was always a smell you could look forward to when he walked in the door.

“Kojiro.. i’m.. im pregnant.”

Silence struck the room like a loud crack of thunder. His eyes widened before they curled back up from his smile. Small chuckles erupted from his chest before turning into full blown laughter. You were stunned by it. He was.. laughing?

“Tsuma! This is- This is amazing! Oh my-! Haha!”

He held you back, looking in your eyes with a bright smile. His laughter was so contagious, you couldn’t help but smile.

“You’re.. you’re happy?”

“Of course i’m happy! I’m with the most beautiful woman, that’s with my kid! Oh my god! Haha! This is so amazing!”

Sasaki picked you up, snuggling his face into the crook of your neck as he spun you around. Laughter filled the room, ever nook and cranny. Soon, he sat you back down on the ground. His hands sat gently on your hips as you looked up at him, your hands resting gently on his shoulders.

“Ah.. how could i have been so blessed with such a beautiful woman?”

He chuckled again, pulling you into a kiss.

Okay. Low key. I highly enjoyed writing this LMAO GRHSAHS anywasy :3

[wygolvillage]

a new year's resolution

well, as of 2024 i’ve decided i will no longer be posting on tumblr... this shouldnt be the hugest surprise since ive been pretty critical of staff, the over-monetization of the website, the site culture, and the user experience for the past year and gradually reducing my time spent scrolling the ol’ dashboard- ive even mentioned my intent to eventually leave; well, that eventually is now! gradually ive found myself analyzing the effect that using tumblr for 7+ years has had on me, and the effects of social media in general.

ive never had to write a goodbye letter like this before. while ive joined and left several online platforms over the years, its always been a gradual fade in interest rather than a conscious decision to stop. never have i used a platform as long as ive used tumblr, over 1/3 of my life. ive grown up with tumblr, for better or worse. how do you write a goodbye for that? i guess ill have to try my best. because as important as tumblr was for me, ive recognized the way its hurt me too.

finding other avenues of online self-expression particularly has made me think a lot about this. when i edit my website i feel accomplished, happy, and content, feeling i have put something of myself out into the world, my seed to grow and garden to tend. when i scroll through tumblr i feel as if my brain is mostly idle, and when i do emotionally respond its often out of anger or annoyance, because anger = engagement and social media sites like tumblr WANT engagement. particularly because i have OCD ive found myself upset by certain aspects of tumblr discourse culture, as well- it is basically the Scrupulosity Website and much of the way i react to and interact with media has been colored by my years spent absorbing the viewpoints of said Scrupulosity Website! i even used to look up discourse topics on tumblr just to anger myself on purpose, which is a dangerous road to go down, to build up Enemies and Factions in your mind- this is how discourse culture works. the culture of tumblr teaches you to see the world in black and white, and to feel like youre always in danger of compromising your moral purity or being attacked by the morally impure. If You Don’t Reblog This You Are A Bad Person. even as someone who nowadays tries to stay away from discourse entirely, its still there in the back of my mind, because the way we interact on this website is colored by this. when im online i dont actually want to be angry all the time! in fact i like putting my effort towards more positive stuff. but additionally: tumblr made me unhappy but it also made me an addict

and yeah social media addiction sounds like a silly boomer thing to complain about but one thing i noticed when i started trying to curb my time spent on tumblr was that opening the site was damn near compulsive. we all know those “open tumblr, close tumblr, open tumblr again immediately after” memes but that did describe my behavior pretty accurately. the draw and allure of social media feeds is powerful, if i accidentally click the youtubes short tab ill find myself a half hour later scrolling through random shit i don't care about and asking well how the hell did i get here? i dont even like that stuff! tumblr is no different no matter how much the site tries to coast on the reputation of being the last social media that's a “remnant of the old web” and “has no algorithm”. i like my chronological dash but it is equally as addicting to scroll through the thousands of people ive followed over the years, as it is to scroll through the algorithmic feeds of youtube shorts, because that's just social media!

and kicking addiction is pretty damn hard. before 2023, i made two separate attempts at reducing my tumblr usage and both fell through within a week due to that addiction. for reference this current bought of thoughts about reducing my tumblr usage and making my online/irl balance more healthy, around the start of 2023 when i began working on my website and its taken me an entire year to wean myself off of the hellsite, bit by bit. theres a point where it stopped being a conscious act, and even as i was carefully whittling down how often i use tumblr with extensions like leechblock i still had that compulsion go off multiple times every day, its a really strange feeling. but now that ive found so many more ways to express myself online, i just feel more whole now... i guess what im saying is that when i post on tumblr my first instinct is to complain or wallow about something, when i post on my own handmade blog on my website i always want to talk about things that excite me or make me happy! and its been such a tangible change in the way i think and act and im certain its because of the way social media and tumblr have their own “societal expectations” and structure that is built to feed on this negativity loop.

and a lot of the biggest shifts happened when i began immersing myself in the ideals of the web revival, while creating my own website. finding things that genuinely interested me and niches i want to occupy made me so much happier. i know we make a lot of jokes about having mutuals we never talk to that mean the world to us and i do think that is indicative of something. like, when i post on a forum full of strangers i am engaging with more “face to face” (or the digital equivalent) communication than i do with years-long mutuals. how genuine are these connections, this dashboard, the enjoyment i got from that meme post ill forget in 10 minutes? (not to say that i don’t genuinely care abt my followers and mutuals. ykwim?) i can still get all the things i enjoy out of tumblr in a more curated form via rss feeds; ive been so much more proud of what i post and create and code on my website. what am i here for? i gradually realized that i am losing absolutely nothing when i “miss out” or block tumblr on my phone or what have you.

since starting working on my neocities site ive felt so much creative drive. ive created whole interactive essays and worlds and games and writings and so many things i could never host on social media. my website is a place of my very own, and ive been learning the value of focusing on what i put out into the net compared to what i take from it. its made me feel so much more fulfilled when i spend time online.

and let's not forget about staff. i have broader issues with how automattic in particular has gone about running the site. the ads only took up more and more of the dashboard, and every month it felt like there was some new paid feature doomed to never take off. all while the user experience gradually degraded. using the site without browser extensions to fix the ui and block the ads and tumblr live and all the other shit they threw all over the place makes it look like its ridden with viruses, and i think the fact that its become so normalized to feel like we have to stay in spaces that become increasingly hostile to us, even while the internet is so vast, is really strange (i mean, i also thought that way at first). but Anyway. so much time and effort was spent on features no one liked or wanted in some desperate attempt to get a little extra money, while staff members get in public fights with users who complain about getting monetization shoved down their throat. its so openly pathetic. the merch store had mostly mediocre designs and the digital tumblrmart is absolutely full of useless digital goods with free alternatives. considering this is a userbase that gladly donates to other sites donation drives for hosting costs (i.e. ao3, wikipedia, internet archive), i am shocked that staff never considered the obvious answer of a fucking donation drive once a year or so! the ceo telling people with concerns about the ads being unsafe for epilepsy to “just pay the ad free subscription” is one of the most disgusting things ive ever heard from someone officially representing such a platform. do not be fooled by the reputation tumblr has cultivated: all that it cares about is making money from you. tumblr is “in danger” because it can't turn a profit- because a profit is all they care about!

so why stay here when im happier elsewhere, apart from the addictive compulsion? that's what ive been thinking through for nearly a year, realizing that i have no reason to, and that weaning myself off of the addiction is in my best interest. i can create and blog and have fun online and connect with others and follow other peoples work all without the need for tumblr anymore! and i think id be all the healthier for it.

over the past year ive truly fallen in love with the internet again and ive loved putting myself out there, unrestrained in ways i havent felt since i was very young. but nonetheless ive learned a lot on tumblr, ive had some of the worst and best experiences of my online life, and i dont doubt that i would be a much different person if i had never been a tumblr user for as long as i was. but i had to break out of this shell eventually.

i keep going over this wondering how i can express every feeling in my head, how i can word everything just a little better, how i can make the perfect goodbye. but i think this will have to suffice.

you can still keep up with me online here:

-explore my website: i keep it consistently updated and im always adding new things and writing new posts on my blog! you can even speak to me directly on the site! if you sign my guestbook or use my chatbox ill try to respond :) if theres anything on this list you do id like it to be this one! i worked hard on it! you can even send me chat messages on my homepage! just keep in mind it may not display everything right on most mobile browsers, but it should be mostly navigable...

you can also subscribe to my rss feed. if you don't know what rss is, it allows you to use a feed reader to keep up with updates from sites all over the internet! my rss feed will notify you whenever ive made a new post on my blog or made an interesting edit on my site id like you to take a peek at :0 convenient, right?

you can also email me at wygolvillage@gmail.com to message me directly. if you prefer im also “wygolvillage” on discord

thank you and happy new years :) thanks for seeing me off as i sail to a new sunrise <3

[amhrosina]

The Red Room - Pt. 2 (Matt Murdock x Reader)

MASTERLIST // JOIN MY TAGLIST

Part 1 Part 3 (Coming Soon)

Summary: You learn a secret about Matt as he continues to help you escape the Red Room. Your assignment grows more and more suspicious, and a trip down memory lane sends you spiraling.

(Warnings: guns, physical fighting, cursing, references to psychological torture, eventual smut lol, references to reader’s life as a Black Widow, reader threatens Matt, reader doesn’t know Matt is Daredevil, this is somewhat of a divergence from the canon story, watch me make shit up about the Red Room)

The air was somewhere close to freezing, even though the sun was out, and even then, it took you 15 minutes of shaking in your boots to realize that it had been months since you’d seen the sun. Your missions were almost always carried out at night, when you could use the darkness to your advantage. The rest of your time was spent training on the air carrier that the Widows called home base.  

It was pure luck that you had been close enough to a payphone to call the number on the business card. You’d gotten a couple chances before then, but each time you’d dialed the number, you would lose your nerve and hang up before the first ring could finish. Not this time, though. 

A polite, female voice answered, and you couldn’t tell if that soothed or unnerved you. The man on the roof had used ‘he’ when referencing his friend, so you weren’t exactly expecting a woman to be on the other end of the line.  

“Can I help you?” 

“Is Murdock in?” You ran your fingers along the cord, trying to ignore the tightness in your chest. 

“Yes, I’ll transfer you now. Is he expecting your call?” 

“I think so?”  

The line trilled for a few moments before a man picked up, and god damnit if you didn’t recognize his voice almost immediately. 

 “This is Matthew Murdock. Can I ask who’s calling?” 

“Oh. My fucking. God.” You muttered into the phone. You resisted the urge to hang up the phone and then destroy the payphone entirely. 

“Excuse me?” Confusion rang clear in his tone. 

“You’re the Devil of Hell’s Kitchen?” 

“I see you’ve done some research.” Matt cleared his throat, but you could tell his signature smirk was resting on his face. “I’m assuming this is the girl from the roof?” 

“I don’t know. Do you meet a lot of women on rooftops, Matthew?” You gritted your teeth.  

“Not particularly. What took you so long to call?” 

“I’ve been busy. And I had to wait until I knew it was safe to call, which by the way, isn’t guaranteed on these payphones. Meet me in the same place as last time in half an hour, okay?” You paused. “Please?” 

“I’ll see you soon.” 

The line clicked, and you listened to the dial tone for much longer than you meant to. Were you really doing this? You nodded, even though you weren’t talking to anyone. Yes, you were really doing this. This was your only shot at getting out, possibly finding your birth mother, and finally making a life of your own.  

Matt found you on the roof not long after you’d settled down to observe your target. He was back at the same diner, and you were still under strict instructions not to kill him. You still didn’t understand why they’d send you on such low rank missions, but it wasn’t your job to ask questions. You were trained to obey. 

When Matt cleared his throat behind you, you didn’t know what to expect in his appearance, but you certainly weren’t expecting red glasses and a walking cane. You eyed his dress suit. Clearly, he came straight from his office. He hadn’t dawned the costume for this meeting, which either meant he was planning on a quick meeting, or he didn’t think he needed to keep up appearances now that you’d figured out who he was. 

“You’re blind.” The minute the observation was out of your mouth, you felt like a dumbass. Obviously he knew he was blind, and you clearly needed to work on your social skills if you were going to defect from the Red Room and enter the real world.  

“Oh, shit. You’re right!” Matt laughed, folding his cane up and leaning against the ledge of the roof near you.  

“Sorry.” You grimaced. “That came out wrong. What I meant to say was ‘Sorry for nearly killing you on the roof the other night.’” 

“Ancient history, darling.” Matt grinned, pulling a manilla envelope from his jacket’s inner pocket.  

“What’s that?” 

“This is how we’re going to get you out. I helped another Widow a while back, and she gave me intel on the way the Red Room tracks the Widows. Everything you need to know is in that folder, and I’ll be running point on the technical stuff like passports, ID’s, and even library card records. You could be out and on the beach in Italy in three weeks if everything goes well.” 

“That was fast.” You flipped through the different documents, some half-finished, some only missing a photo or a name. 

“I started working on in the night we met.” He shrugged, like what he was doing wasn’t highly dangerous and an incredibly risky move. 

“Thank you.” You squeaked, suddenly overcome with an emotion you couldn’t place. “Can I ask you to do something else for me?” 

“Of course.” 

“My birth mother,” you started, swallowing your fear, “I don’t know if you have any idea how I could find her. I don’t even know my birth name. And I can’t trust anything that I’ve been told about her.” 

“I’ll see what I can do, but…” Matt bristled, clearly too uncomfortable to blatantly ask whatever he needed to know. 

“What is it?” You asked, looking away from him.  

“How do you feel about spitting in a cup?” 

- 

“Well, now that that’s sorted.” You wiped your mouth with the back of your hand. To say that you didn’t have ‘spit in a cup for an almost-stranger’ on your to-do list today would be a massive understatement.  

“It’s a stretch, but you’d be surprised how many records are digital now. If your mom was ever in the system, her DNA would be there, too. It’s a starting point, at least.” 

“I wish I could give you more than a ‘thank you’, but I don’t actually own anything.” You muttered, wishing in that moment so badly that you’d had a normal childhood.  

“Don’t worry about that. I’m sure we can think of ways for you to repay me.” Matt grinned, “Like cleaning the office toilet. And rubbing my feet after long nights.” 

You laughed, and the sound startled you. When was the last time you’d laughed? Had it really been years since you’d had something to smile at, let alone laugh at? You wracked your brain to remember a time that you’d felt joy, or even a glimpse of happiness, but you came up empty.  

“Where’d you go?” Matt asked, tilting his head.  

“It’s nothing.” You shook your head, refocusing on the target you were supposed to be surveilling. He was in the same booth as last time, but much more sober and alert. He checked the time on his watch for the third time since he’d sat down, almost like he was waiting for someone to show up.  

Matt returned the documents to the envelope while you glanced around the street below. Your eyes snagged on the two people entering the diner. The target was waiting for someone, like you had deduced, but what you hadn’t expected was that person to be a first grader with a glittery unicorn themed backpack on. The other person, who you guessed had to be the mother of the little girl, waved as she exited the diner and headed back the way she came. 

You let out a slow breath. Whatever the Red Room’s goal was with this target, it couldn’t be good for that little girl. You dreaded the day your orders would come through, and hoped that Matt could get you out before that day came.  

“Who is it that you’re watching?” Matt asked, unfolding his cane. 

“Some tech genius that managed to piss off the wrong people. I’ve been watching him for weeks, but they haven’t asked me to pull the trigger yet. I didn’t know he had a kid, though.” 

“Would you?” 

“Would I what?” You asked. The girl was now showing your target her sparkly pencil case.  

“Shoot him. If they asked you to.”  

“I would’ve, once.” You admitted. “But their psychological bullshit doesn’t work on me anymore. I don’t want to be an assassin.” 

“What do you want to be?” He pried, fiddling with his cane.  

“I don’t know.” You shrugged. “But I know I don’t want to kill for Dreykov anymore.” 

Matt nodded, seemingly satisfied with your response. 

“What was the name of the Widow you helped?”  

You had been wondering this since he’d mentioned it on the roof the first night you’d met. You couldn’t recall a Widow that had escaped, but they made sure to keep the Widows separated from each other for that very reason. There was no gossip, no friends, no connection when you were in the Red Room. You were a warrior, a clone, an assassin. You were one of Dreykov’s knives, a weapon of mass destruction, at best. At worst, you were no one and nothing. 

“Natasha.” Matt responded. “Did you know her?” 

Your blood ran cold. You knew Natasha. Everyone did, because she was public enemy number one for a Widow. If you found her, your orders, along with every single one of the thousands of active Widows in the Red Room, were to bring her to Dreykov. Dead or alive, he didn’t care, but Natasha had been missing for years, and no one could find any trace of her.  

“No.” You finally replied. “I don’t know her.” 

You didn’t know why you lied to him. Thus far, Matt had been the only person you had ever been able to trust, but something about opening up to him about your time in the Red Room felt wrong. You weren’t ready to expose the horrors you’d experienced in the Red Room, and certainly not to a man you barely knew. 

“Okay.” Matt nodded and a small smile crept onto his face. “Just keep doing what you’re doing. They have no reason to suspect you. We’ll talk soon, okay?” 

“Okay.” You nodded. “Thanks for all the help.” 

“Thanks for not shooting me.”

Tag List:

@scoliobean @blue-03 @infinityisbright @myguiltypleasures21 @thegilrwiththeeyes1297 @goddesspsyche @mxxnligxt @xleiaorgana @mukbee @soft-emo-enby @purple-amaranthe @kokoterainonago666 @blackwidownat2814 @minervadashwood @emiemiemiii @h4rrys @messymissy @mylifeispainandiloveit @mossexe @alina02 @spikedhe4rt @fictional-hooman @thedevilwearsblack @merleisapartygod @legocity2 @violet-19999 @quackson03 @certifiedhunter @shoxji @layazul @dumb-fawkin-bitch @americaarse @lazyxsquirrel @honeysucklepotter @m0nster-fvcker @matthewmurdockswhore @thatgirljayy @hiyabyeyababy @alexxavicry @hallecarey1 @km-ffluv @chiaraxtargaryen @trulylavandedarling @D0wnbad @deliciousfestsalad @lilyevans1 @imagineadream @22carolina08 @definitelynotsugar @casualchaoticdevil @peachy-flxwr @nashja @xshewayout

[birdiebortnik]

oh it is 4 AM and this is probably riddled with typos but here we go <3

Fanfic Writer Review

Omg! Thank you @harumin24 for tagging me! <3<3<3<3 (spamming you with hearts) 

“How many works do you have on Ao3?”

I have seven! With hopes of more. Six of them are multi-chapter stories, one is from a gift exchange I did a million years ago for a fandom I'm no longer in lmao, and two of them are WIPs. 

“Your top 5 stories by kudos/likes?”

White Catchfly- 812

Here I Am- 343

Meadow Sweet Fennel- 262

Acropolis- 144 

I don’t endorse the gift exchange fic, that was a different me from a different time but i refuse to delete it cause like one or two people have it bookmarked. 

“Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?”

Yes yes yes! Comments make my heart leap out of my chest and smile like a darn fool for hours! I have a little routine where I only respond to comments once I’ve posted the next chapter of my story cause I am such a slow writer I’m pretty convinced that every reader has totally forgotten the fic exists. Unfortunately because of the debilitating adhd sometimes responding to comments and DM’s about finished stories is still on the docket (IM GETTING TO IT I PROMISE!)  

“What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?”

Oh ho ho ho ho. I write angsty angsty shit. But that being said, I don’t want my readers to leave feeling hopeless and crushed. I want to balance out the whump and hurt with some reality of hope. I put a bob the drag queen quote at the end of all my fics, “everything works out in the end, so if things aren’t working out it is not the end.” I put this on there mainly for my readers in case they need to hear it, but I also want to reflect it within my stories. I’m not going for tragic for tragedies' sake but I’m also not going for cartoonishly happy endings, I’m trying to hit a middle ground. All of that being said I think right now the angstiest ending I’ve written is for White Catchfly— the children have returned from Narnia and are re-learning their lives in England. Much has been lost with this ending and there’s trepidation in the future. 

However, Green Carnations is a strong contender because it ends when Ben is really just starting his life and there’s this kind of impending cloud that is the events of canon in the distance.  

(Rest assured I have much angstier endings planned mwahahahahah). 

“What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?”

Hmm! I think it’s a toss up between Here I Am and Acropolis. Here I Am ends with hope after INTENSE angst and honestly I kind of regret that, I was a little burnt out on that fic when it was time to write the ending and I don’t think I gave it all the care it deserved. To remedy that I’d love to write some one-shots to expand, but I just need some ideas (if any here i am fans are out there and you have prompts my asks and dms are open!). On the other hand, Acropolis isn’t as angsty overall and the last chapter is pretty cute (if I do say so myself) with family bonding, sibling fun, music, etc. 

“Do you write crossovers?”

I do not as of now. I’m less fandom focused and less ship focused and much much more character focused so I tend to hone in one detail/person which doesn’t really lend itself to balancing crossovers. 

“Have you ever received hate on a fic?”

No! Thank goodness and knock on wood. My fics are pretty specific so I assume anyone clicking on them knows what they’re in for. I’ve gotten some odd comments (I think only on Here I Am), but nothing I would call hate. 

“Do you write smut? If so, what kind?”

I haven’t. Not yet at least. I don’t think I’m really attracted to writing smut for smut’s sake. Though its something im a little torn about— a lot of my stories have themes of coming into one’s sexuality and there have been several instances already and I have more instances and scenes planed where moments of sexuaity/description of sexuality would make sense narratively and I do fully believe in sex being a useful literary device but I’m unsure how to navigate being more detailed than vague reference, shadowy description, and fade to black. We shall see what the future holds I suppose!  

“Have you ever had a fic stolen?”

Not to my knowledge. 

“Have you ever had a fic translated?”

Nope! 

“Have you ever co-written a fic before?”

I haven’t! My writing tends to happen in a late night adhd coffee fueled frenzy and also tends to center around real specific headcanons and smaller fandoms so I’m not sure my writing lifestyle is very conducive to co-writing. 

“What’s your all-time favourite ship?”

Alas, I am not really a ship person. I get it, I do. But like i said earlier, I’m much more individual character focused. However when I think of character pairs that should smooch cause they seem very in love the first pairs that come to mind are Harry and Dale from twin peaks (i never finished the show but I don’t platonically grab my friends noses, what’s that about dale, huh?) and the roman solider and cowboy from night of the museum who invented romance. Am I only thinking of those two pairs cause its four am? WAIT! I do love Legolas/Gimli I do love that. 

“What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?”

Crying. Sobbing. Kicking. Screaming. I have started so many WIPs. I’ve only posted the ones I’m 100% going to finish, but in the drafts are a three musketeers fic, a merlin fic, a boy meets world fic (i’m almost done with it, I have hope!), a boys in the boat fic (i loved the movie interpretations of the lads as characters, but the more i sit on the this fic, the more i remember they were based off real people and i get a lil uncomfy), two white collar fics, a flash fic, a she loves me fic (yes, the broadway musical), dead boy detective fics (ill probably never finish those alas), lotr, abbot elementary, thelma (2024), i started a parks and rec one once upon a time, a modern family fic, stranger things (the hyperfixation lasted maybe a week if that), two marvel fics, a prodigal son fic, dr who, that show with the dog hudson and rex, and i just started a open a doc for my current fast and furious tangent 

I know this sounds like so much and it is, but only a few of these are more than a page. Some of them are just a title and blank doc or one paragraph. When I say i have adhd i mean it. I open a doc for almost every show I watch. 

“What are your writing strengths?”

Oy gavalt. Something I try and take care to do is root a lot of things in the body of the characters which I think helps with fleshing out the descriptions of emotions. I also think I’m alright at coming up with the one way gate— that being the plot moment that the characters can not come back from (romeo killing tybalt for example) but i'm still working on making it all more succinct and fleshed out. 

“What are your writing weaknesses?”

In a big picture sense— plot. Sometimes I feel like my characters show up on the page, have emotions, and then it's the end. Goodnight goodbye. Recently i feel like i’ve forgotten some of my tactics in plotting things out so I’m trying to go back to that. In conjunction with this, I’m really not good at the ticking clock (in reference to Charles’ Baxter’s lecture on aspects of an effective plot). I feel like my characters are seldom in a plot enhancing time crunch. I’m working on it. 

In a none big picture way— yall i’ve got to come up with another way to communicate what’s going on with a character besides describing their breath. Maybe its cause i have asthma so im just like really aware of what my lungs are doing but my characters breathing is so constantly central to how im communicating with them and i feel like it gets repetitive. 

“What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?”

I’ve done it! It’s really hard! I provide translations whenever I do it to keep readers in the loop. When I was writing russian dialogue for here i am I was instantly hit with how my russian is much more of a russian/ukrainian/yiddish familect and while my speaking/understanding is a little better I had 0 formal reading/writing education. A kind soul fluent in like proper academic russian volunteered to help me out, but man, it was tough. 

I have other fics in the works (-ish, you saw my wip list, im freaking toast, dude) where I have characters who I want to represent speaking in another language that I have no experience with which is really intimidating especially since fluency is so dependant on location and culture and time and colloquialisms that can be impossible to translate when you’re not fluent yourself. 

All that to say, I want to speak and write about every language but rn I’m focused on getting out of bed so we’ll see what happens lmao. 

“What’s a fandom/ship you haven’t written for yet but want to?”

I’m vibrating in place. Again y’all saw my wip list. It’s out of control. It’s hard to say cause my brain jumps from idea and focus to idea and focus so rapidly that I don’t really know what’s on the horizon. I will say, one that I’ve not really worked on in a serious way, as my ideas are very scattered, but I keep coming back to is White Collar. A Neal fic may very well be on its way (wow, a fic where a traumatized man realizes he’s gay, so original avi, you’ve never written something like that before! Listen, ill write it a million times over leave me alone). 

However, a way out of left field fleeting fixation that is calling to me from the google docs is fast and furious. I’ve watched one film. That’s it, one film, the first one. I have no plans to watch any more. HOWEVER, there is a character in the first film that is barely expanded upon, dies, and does not come back in any of the other films. And let me tell you, my brain is seeing an opportunity here, like Ben from Lupin, this kid is a blank canvas with like zero canon details that I want to craft an entire life story for, a story that certainly no one will read but i do want to write. 

“What’s your favourite fic you’ve written?”

You’re going to make me choose from all my babies? My beautiful children? 

Listen— White Catchfly has a special place in my heart as the seed of Larch and the first project I started and finished.

Here I Am does not make the cut because though i love it, like i said, i got a little burnt out and im not proud of every chapter 

Acropolis gets an honorable mention cause it gets no love (thats so okay i knew exactly what i was getting into writing a side character focused no powers au for a fandom where the powers are like 99% of it) and i think its cute and its the first medical trauma fic ive written which makes it unique 

Green Carnations, my child, my beloved. I love it so much, it was such a labor of love. This was one of the fics that is like 99% me cause it’s about a character with no canon details and i made up all of it so the few and mighty comments on it are so special cause my dear readers are getting no canon and all me and it just floors me that they clicked on the fic and stuck around.  

However, the winner at the moment is Meadow Sweet Fennel. Technically its not over yet, we’ve still got one more chapter. I really love this fic. The larch series is one of my favorites to work on and this was the first larch story where i got to explore the historical component which is one of the main aspects of the series. This fic really felt like a step up from White Catchfly, i think my writing really matured with this fic and it feels like a sturdy push into the rest of the larch series and one of the largest most impactful steps in getting to the stories yet to come. <3 

I don’t really have other fic writing pals but if any writers following me feel compelled i tag you!

[lavender-creame]

matt watsons hands ….watson…hands ….finge-his hands i mean his hands i dont know how to finish this request you know what i mean

I know exactly what you mean

Friday Nights

| Minors DNI | 18+ only | 2.4K words Summary: You and your best friend Matt Watson are hanging out until he challenges you to a round of Super Smash Bros. After you lose horribly, he tries to teach you his ways, but you just can’t get yourself to focus when his fingers are gripping you so perfectly. Warnings: smut, nsfw, cursing, oral (afab receiving), penetration, teasing, praise a/n: this one goes out to all you Matt girlies out there <33 You can also find my stuff on a03 at lavender_creame

Friday night meant movie night for you and your best friend, Matt. Usually, however, after the first 20 minutes or so, the two of you wouldn’t focus much on the movie, finding each other’s company more entertaining. Something about sitting across from Matt, each of you on opposite ends of the couch facing each other, giggling until the early hours of the morning, just seemed to make more sense to you than sitting silently next to each other for 2 hours. Tonight was no different, of course, and an hour into ‘Ferris Bueller’s Day Off’, which by the way you guys had already attempted to watch once, but got distracted the first time, you and Matt had fallen into a playfully competitive argument.

“I don’t care if it’s been years since I’ve played, I’d still beat you, no problem,” Matt said with overwhelming self-assurance.

You scoffed, “You were just as confident like 2 weeks ago when I mentioned ‘Mario Kart’, and then you got your ass whooped.”

“This is different, though!” He said, stretching his long legs out across the couch far enough to reach you. “I’m like actually good at ‘Super Smash Bros’!”

You pushed his feet away from your crossed legs. “I think you’re greatly overestimating your abilities.”

“You know what? Fine.”

Matt stood up and walked away from the couch, crouching by a shelf. He was thumbing through his ‘Switch’ games.

“Oh god, Matt. Don’t tell me you’re actually going to try to beat me.”

“No, I’m not going to try to beat you,” he paused as he tossed a controller your way with a smirk and a wink. “I am going to beat you.”

You fumbled with the remote before catching it. The way he spoke sent shivers up your spine. You pretended like you hated it, but in reality, you loved it when he was cocky like this; a faint blush reached your cheeks. As Matt found his way back to the couch, he once again stretched out, his long limbs taking up the entire space.

“Fuck it, I’m sitting on the floor. I can’t deal with you anymore.”

You stood up, leaving Matt to all the room he could ever want.

Matt pouted, “What? No, you could have stayed up here.”

Shaking your head, you got comfy below him. “Nope. Start the game already so I can beat your ass and we can turn back on the movie.”

He groaned, clicking past the main title screen.

It’d been a while since you played Super Smash Bros as well, and you weren’t quite used to the tiny switch controllers, but you were still sure that you were better than your best friend. You watched as he set the rules to 3 lives and no items.

‘Shit he’s really taking this seriously’

You picked Zero Suit Samus and he, of course, picked Yoshi.

You rolled your eyes, catching Matt’s attention.

“What?” He asked with a knowing grin.

“Yoshi? Really?”

“It was either that or Luigi.”

“Oh my god.”

He laughed as you sat below him, fidgeting with your controller to change the outfit of your character. Despite being friends for so long, the two of you never played Smash together before, you had just never thought about it. In the games you had played him in though, he tended to be pretty shit at, so you figured this would be the same, but you got an odd feeling watching him. Sure, Matt was a cocky person, but this was confidence, and you only saw him like this when he was genuine. Your eyes lingered on his face for a moment, how perfectly his eyes glowed in excitement. The way the dim light hit his hair, highlighting his bleach blond hair; you realized you should stop staring. You glanced at the screen and quickly turned your attention to his character, he just had to pick a character as annoying to play against as Yoshi?

You took a deep breath as the countdown started, ready to beat his ass into oblivion- within seconds, you were thrown off the edge.

You were stunned.

As you respawned, he attacked you again, however, this time you managed to dodge it before, Matt grinned smugly attacking you again, knocking your damage all the way up to the 80s. Matt's damage on the other hand was at a solid 13% and you couldn't do more than stun him a few times and get a couple of kicks in.

Needless to say, the match was over pretty fast, much faster than you could process it.

With a triumphant smile, Matt leaned forward on the cushion of your couch as the victory screen rolled over, showing Yoshi standing proud on the screen and Zero Suit clapping in second place.

"See? What did I tell you? Easy."

Matt laughed as you stared up at him, trying to wrap your head around your loss.

"Don't worry, here." He went back to the character selection screen. "I'll go easy on you now and we'll add items, I just wanted to show you up once."

"How did you do that?" You asked, turning and looking up at him.

There was awe in your tone, and you knew he knew it, too.

"I play Smash Online when I get bored sometimes, or at least I used to. It's definitely been a while."

"Oh." You all but whispered. You weren't sure how you didn't know this about your best friend, you noticed that he tended to play games that aren't really competitive, but at the end of the day, it didn't surprise you that much. Matt did have a competitive side, so it made sense that he'd have at least one game where he could be that part of himself.

Matt noticed your expression. He smiled softly at you.

"Here, I'll help you out."

He quickly used his controller to change his character to an NPC and stood up from the couch.

"What are you doing?" You asked him, now raising your eyebrow in confusion.

He slid behind you, sitting so you were in between his legs and his chest was to your back. He wrapped his hands around yours, choosing your character for you. His hands were warm against yours and you watched as his long fingers curled around the small controller. His hands fit comfortably around yours and your heart felt like it skipped a beat as you focused solely on those strong fingers holding your own.

"I'm showing you how to actually play, duh."

As he spoke, you could feel his hot breath on your neck; you were frozen in place, unable to respond to the sudden contact.

‘This is normal, Matt is my best friend and best friends help each other’

After a few moments, you finally managed to move your fingers in response to his touch. He continued his demonstration, pointing out the buttons you should use and explaining what you did that made you lose, but you were barely listening. His fingers moved carefully along your skin every so often; every touch electrifying your body, causing you to slightly tense as he demonstrated different moves.

"Alright, now you try," Matt said after several minutes, releasing your hands.

You felt your breath catch as his left hand moved back to his side of the couch, resting casually there as his right one rested on your bare thigh below where your pajama shorts stopped.

'He has to know what he's doing, there's no way he doesn't'

Your fingers moved hesitantly over the buttons for a few moments before Matt said “Go ahead” assuringly and you pressed play.

You maneuvered your character, trying to focus on the buttons instead of how close Matt was to you, but it became more and more difficult every time Matt’s hand moved.

You heard him chuckle beside you, which only served to make you more nervous.

“You okay?” He mused, moving his hand that was resting on the couch to place it on top of yours to press a button for you.

“Your fingers seem kinda shaky.”

“They do?” you responded nervously.

“Yeah… Are they cold? I don’t think your hands are supposed to be this cold.”

You shook your head, “I’m fine,”

He chuckled again, rubbing his thumb across your hand in small circles as he did. You tried to ignore the butterflies that were fluttering around inside of you.

“Are you sure?” He teased, his gaze dropping to where his hand rested on your thigh.

"Your leg is pretty cold too now that I think about it."

He rubbed his thumb across the soft skin of your inner thigh. You could feel your heart racing as you waited for him to speak; you wondered if you should move away, but at the same time you didn’t want to.

“Hey Y/N,” Matt breathed, his voice low and husky.

You couldn’t help but to lean closer to him, a shiver running through your body.

“I don’t want to play anymore.”

You swallowed thickly, unsure of what to say.

His hand that sat on yours lightly dragged up your neck and to your chin, turning it towards his.

"Is this okay?" You could feel his whispered breath on the skin of your cheek.

You nodded, unable to speak.

His lips brushed against yours gently and slowly and you melted into it, closing your eyes and leaning into the kiss. His long fingers stayed holding your chin, tilting your head for you.

Matt pulled back after a few seconds, pressing his forehead against yours as you both sighed in relief.

“Can I kiss you again?” He asked, a smirk forming on his face.

You nodded eagerly, "please," was all you could say.

Bringing your hands up to cup his face, your fingers brushing against his cheeks. Matt kissed you again softly, and his hands cupped your face, pulling your bodies flush together as he moved against you. You moaned softly into the kiss, pulling him even closer to deepen the kiss and he obliged you.

You broke apart for a moment just to straddle him.

He smiled up at you, letting you rest atop him. His hand moved from your jawline to your waist, the other hand now resting on the nape of your neck.

His lips met your jaw and trailed down your throat and met your collabone; you hummed appreciatively. His hands found purchase on your hips, gripping them tight as his lips found their way to your chest, trailing kisses and bites down your body. When his hand reached your stomach, he paused briefly, hovering there before continuing.

"Can I?" He whispered huskily against your chest.

"On the couch, please."

He smirked, giving you one, deep kiss before letting you stand.

As you settled onto the couch, you looked at him, who hadn't moved from the floor, with confusion.

"Matt, please don't tease me." A deep blush reached your cheeks.

You weren't surprised that he'd be one to tease, but the heat between your thighs was just getting unbearable; you wanted him.

"Don't worry about me, I'm fine down here." He said with his lopsided grin.

Before you could respond, he kneeled below you in between your legs, and hooked his arms around your thighs. As he pulled you closer to him, your shirt lifted up and he left soft kisses on your waist before pulling at your waistband and kissing your hips as he undressed you. His fingers trailed across your now bare upper body as his tongue danced against your pelvis, leaving colorful bruises that only you and he would see.

You moaned in pleasure, wriggling underneath him as he began his descent downward. Your eyes squeezed shut, feeling his mouth find the most sensitive part of your body. You gasped sharply as he took your clit into his mouth, making you shudder violently. Grabbing fistfuls of his hair, you pulled him even closer to you and felt him moan against your cunt at the sensation. He worked his tongue around your clit, his fingers sliding up to cup your breasts and you with your nipples.

You bit your lip to stifle any sounds coming from you. It wasn't fair that he could make you feel good so easily. He always seemed to know exactly what would make you fall apart. One of his hands dragged down your body, making its way to your folds.

You felt him graze your entrance and you whined at his teasing, Matt, hearing this, chuckled, pulling away from your clit and giving the bruises on your hip a gentle kiss.

"I saw you looking at my hands earlier. You'd hold your breath whenever I'd move them. Tell me, sweetheart, would you rather cum on my fingers?"

You could feel your cheeks burning and you turned away to hide your embarrassment.

Matt laughed softly.

"It's alright, babe," he said, trailing kisses up your torso, "I think it's cute."

As he left bruises on your collarbones and breasts, you whimpered for more contact, but were only met with two of his fingers slipping into your mouth to keep you quiet; you sucked on them while he worked his tongue around your nipples, the sensations making your toes curl and tears dot your eyes.

"Please, Matt." You mumbled around his fingers. "Please let me cum."

"Anything for you, sweetheart."

With that, he pulled his fingers from your mouth and slipped them inside you. You gasped, his fingers massaging your core gently.

"Oh God, Matt.."

"Good girl..."

You moaned loudly as he pumped his fingers in and out of you, no longer able to keep the sounds in.

"God, you're gorgeous…"

You whimpered again, unable to form any coherent words as he slide back down towards your cunt, taking your clit into his mouth again. As he worked his fingers, you cried out, throwing your head backward as wave after wave of pleasure washed through you.

"That's it, babe, come for me…" Matt muttered against your clit as you came undone.

As you came down from your high, Matt pulled his fingers out of you, crawling above you on the couch to kiss you deeply.

[minx1o]

𝙔𝙤𝙪 𝙖𝙧𝙚 𝙣𝙤𝙩 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙚𝙭𝙘𝙚𝙥𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣 ᶠᵗ ʳⁱⁿ

ꜱᴜᴍᴍᴀʀʏ: ʏᴏᴜ ᴅᴇʟᴜᴅᴇ ʏᴏᴜʀꜱᴇʟꜰ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴛʜᴇ ᴛʜᴏᴜɢʜᴛ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ʀɪɴ ɢᴇɴᴜɪɴᴇʟʏ ʟᴏᴠᴇꜱ ʏᴏᴜ ʙᴇᴄᴀᴜꜱᴇ ᴏꜰ ᴀ ʙʀᴏᴋᴇɴ ᴘʀᴏᴍɪꜱᴇ ʜᴇ ᴍᴀᴅᴇ ᴀ ᴅᴇᴄᴀᴅᴇ ᴀɢᴏ, ᴇᴠᴇɴ ᴛʜᴏᴜɢʜ ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ ɪꜱ ᴄʟᴇᴀʀʟʏ ᴀ ʀɪɴɢ ᴏɴ ʜɪꜱ ꜰɪɴɢᴇʀ, ᴀɴᴅ ᴀ ᴡᴏᴍᴀɴ ɪɴ ʜɪꜱ ᴀʀᴍꜱ.

ɪɴꜱᴘɪʀᴇᴅ ʙʏ ᴛᴀʏʟᴏʀ ꜱᴡɪꜰᴛ’ꜱ ꜱᴏɴɢ: ꜰᴏᴏʟɪꜱʜ ᴏɴᴇ ᴀɴᴅ ɪʟʟɪᴄɪᴛ ᴀꜰꜰᴀɪʀꜱ

ᴀ/ɴ: ʏᴀ’ʟʟ ᴀʀᴇ ɢᴏɴɴᴀ ʜᴀᴛᴇ ʏ/ɴ ʜᴇʀᴇ ɪꜱᴛɢ (ꜱʜᴇ’ꜱ ꜱᴏ ᴅᴇʟᴜꜱɪᴏɴᴀʟ ʜᴇʀᴇ, ɪᴛꜱ ᴀᴄᴛᴜᴀʟʟʏ ᴄᴏɴᴄᴇʀɴɪɴɢ) ᴀʟꜱᴏ, ꜰᴏᴏʟɪꜱʜ ᴏɴᴇ ʜᴀꜱ ʙᴇᴇɴ ꜱᴛᴜᴄᴋ ɪɴ ᴍʏ ʜᴇᴀᴅ ᴇᴠᴇʀ ꜱɪɴᴄᴇ ɪᴛ ᴄᴀᴍᴇ ᴏᴜᴛ ᴀɴᴅ ɪ ᴊᴜꜱᴛ ᴡᴀɴᴛᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ᴍᴀᴋᴇ ᴍɪꜱꜱ ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ ᴀ ʟɪʟ (ᴏʙꜱᴄᴇɴᴇʟʏ) ᴅᴇʟᴜꜱɪᴏɴᴀʟ ʜᴇʜᴇ, ʙᴜᴛ ᴀɴᴡ ᴇɴᴊᴏʏ ᴀɴᴅ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ꜰᴜɴ ʙᴇɪɴɢ ᴛʜᴇ ꜱɪᴅᴇʜᴏᴇ <33

rin itoshi isn’t a good person.

because if he was, he wouldn’t be here right now

sleeping ever so soundly beside you as if everything was okay, his face contorts every now and then, as if  he’s having quite the adventure in his dreams. You cant help the smile that’s creeping in your face. he’s right here, and he’s yours.

For now

Your smile drops into a small frown as you feel the weight of reality against you.

How dare you feel happy about fooling around with what’s not yours.

Suddenly, you feel everything- the sound of his breathing, the banging of your heart, the tiny drops of rain hitting your window, the suffocating sensation of your naked body against his cotton blanket, the cold hand that rests unmoving against your waist, and the torturous guilt that swallows your soul in every second.

you sometimes question how on earth he can lay around leeching onto you as if he cant feel the weight of the cold metallic ring on his finger

you try to reason that it was an arranged marriage and that it was fine

but it in fact, of course- wasn’t fine

however, in spite of knowing that what you have is wrong- your love reigns over your morals either way.

Your love, only yours. Because this man clearly doesn’t give two shits about your existence.

You were simply the only one brave and attractive enough to be sneaking with him unbeknownst to his wife.

You met him way before he was even totally serious about football, you were childhood friends who spent almost everyday together, until you had to leave to study abroad. Tears brim your eyes as you enter your dad’s car on your way to the airport, he stares at you from his bedroom window as you wave your hand to him.

Back then he promised you he would wait for you.

It was like an unofficial confession- one that you clung onto for the next 7 years you spent on another country.

And yet you return only to find out he hadn’t waited for you at all.

You talked it over and figured why would we let a piece of paper determine who on earth we love?

Or at least that’s what you thought.

Because it’s been weeks since he’s reached out to you. Boredom overcomes every blood vessel within you as you scroll through your tiktok like how you have for the past 3 hours.

Your eyes widen as you see an edit of a familiar figure; holding an umbrella over this gorgeous girl. He’s holding a gold-chained purse that obviously didn’t belong to him as he opened the door of his car for her.

He was just being nice

He doesn’t love her-

But who are you to complain? If he was in love, what’s it to you? What gives you the right to act all jealous?

He never said he loved you did he?

Well then, its probably because he doesn’t.

A voice ringing in your head invades your entire consciousness.

Did you actually expect for him to love you?

If he did, he wouldn’t keep you so hidden, would he?

If he loved you then her name shouldn’t be the one he’s screaming to the world.

Your screen fades to black- snapping you back to reality. You open your contacts and clicks his name.

It takes a few seconds to ring when he finally picked up.

“What? You didn’t tell me you were calling, Sumi almost saw your nickname”

“Oh yeah. Sorry ‘bout that, I was just wondering why you haven’t shown up lately”

“I’ve just been busy, I’ll probably be coming over tomorrow, I’ll update you frequently”

So he’s just busy after all

You secretly breathe a sigh of relief

So he does love me, rin has never been good with words, but if he really loved her, he would cut off all contacts with me. You were trying to convince yourself- as delusional as it sounds, it didn’t matter,  it soothed your soul either way

“Oh okay, see you”

You end the call with a smile on your face

Actually, rin has had a lot of affairs before- but you’re convinced that what you and him have is different.

Out of all those girls, I was the only one he promised to love.

Not her, me

Just as promised, he shows up at your doorstep, umbrella in hand. His eyes glisten through the rainwater stuck on his lashes. He puts his coat down as he takes a step towards you- wrapping you with his cold hands.

No words were exchanged between you- just knowing looks and meaningful glances. But you cherish these moments despite it being so empty, because you know that when you wake up tomorrow, he wont be here to hold you anymore.

You’ve been through this a few hundred times- you indulge in the moment while it lasts, this empty and hollow connection is somehow the best part of your existence. And once again, there he is; in all his glory; delicate eyes flutter under the moonlight.

There are a lot of things you don’t know, but one thing you do know is that this may be a sin, and maybe one day, when you’re all grown up and matured, you will look back at these past memories with a disgusted face but that doesn’t matter because for now this is the purest form of love to you. You know he doesn’t love you, but if being an idiot is what it takes to have him near- you were willing to be an absolute delusional fool.