#i’ve been spelling the ship name wrong this whole time and had to google it and make sure i didn’t make a fool of myself

[anidealistatbestburntoutatworst]

oh my god an original thought (a scarcity it seems)

dazai: “you let me pretend to be a hero”

chuuya: “and i let you pretend to be in love with me.”

dazai: “and look where that’s gotten us.”

[green-blooded-computer]

A Guide to RPing on Tumblr

I’ve been getting a lot of questions lately, so here’s my complete walkthrough on how to create a Tumblr RP blog. 

If you’d rather view on a Google Doc, here’s a link.

Enjoy.

Create Blog

Howdy, so the first thing you’ll have to do is click ‘register’ and make yourself a blog. You also have the choice of making a sideblog instead. I’m a person who likes to have this separated, so if you are only thinking of playing a couple characters, this might be the way to go for you. Here’s the difference between main/side blogs (taken from Tumblr’s help center):

Choose any url for now (we’ll talk about that later), and go to the next section.

Please note: When you make a new blog, it won’t show up in the search/people’s notifications for a bit of time (a day or so). Make sure you validate your email address asap. 

Get xKit

If you haven’t installed xKit, I highly suggest it. Go to their blog here, and get it for Chrome, Firefox, Edge, or Opera.

What is it? A little toolkit to make Tumblr easier to use.

When you install it, it’ll pop up on your top bar thing next to the lightning bolt like this:

It’s that thing with the x’s on it.

When you click the x’s this pops up:

Brill.

You can click ‘Get Extensions’ at the bottom and basically choose whatever you want, but may I recommend the following:

1) Editable Reblogs allows you to edit reblogs. Right. This is good because when you are replying to RP threads they tend to get rather long. Some advice that was given to me when I started: when you add your reply, delete everything before your partner’s last reply. So you should have your partner’s post and your post and that’s all. You just click ‘reblog’ and it pops up like normal, except now there’s this little guy:

If you click that, it will make everything in your reblog box editable.

2) One-Click Postage gives you a little box if you hover over the reblog button. It lets you reblog, queue, draft, tag, and add replies right from that page. You can even choose which blog (main/side) you want it to go to.  It looks like this:

The rest I will just say play around with! They are easy to add and take away.

Decide what kind of blog you want.

Multimuse Vs. Single muse: 

Do you want to play one character or a bunch of them? If you choose one character, your blog icon and theme will presumably feature that character or something to do with them. If you choose to focus on one, you should have info about your character available on your blog somewhere. If you choose to have more than one muse, you’ll need a list of the characters you offer and some info about them. 

When choosing a url for a multimuse, choose something that encompasses the spirit of you and your characters.

When choosing a url for a single muse, I go for quotes, nicknames, something about where they are from, what they like, their name, etc. Note: if you have dashes in your url (like mine @strings-have-been-cut) these won’t work with tags. People will have to turn them into separate words or one big word.

I do not have a multimuse, but I have seen them done all sorts of ways. Some people offer characters from all different fandoms, some are just one fandom, one genre, OCs, canons, a mixture...you can do what you like. 

If your blog is not affiliated with any sort of organized game, this is referred to as ‘independent’ often shortened to ‘idie’. 

Your blog description should mention which kind it is. For example: a sci-fi multimuse blog; a Star Trek OC blog; an indie Bill S. Preston Esq. from Bill and Ted RP blog. Details help sometimes. 

Canon Character Vs. Original Character

If you decide to make a canon character, make sure you have it clear somewhere where they are from! Canon characters can be canon divergent (your own version), they can crossover into other fandoms, they can be exactly as they are in your favourite book/show/movie/podcast...each version of a canon is unique and lovely.

If you decide to make an original character, make sure you give plenty of info about them! You want to tell people what fandom they fit into or if they are fandomless. ‘About’ pages are really important for OCs because there is no fanbase for them (yet!).

What should be in your description?

When someone clicks your blog, they will first see a dash preview sort of thing. It shows a description and a small header, along with the posts you’ve made. This description also shows up somewhere on your actual blog and on the top of the page on mobile view. It’s a great spot to give all the info about your blog real quick. I always include the following:

What is it? (Independent Data from Star Trek RP blog)

Age restrictions (21+)

Who you will RP with (mutuals only is called ‘private’ and choosing who you follow back is called ‘selective’.)

Mun’s name (played by [insert your name])

Possibly a link to your about/rules for easy access on desktop and mobile. I’ll talk about this more below. I call this ‘navigation’, but it varies. Note: if you edit your icon/dash header, any html links seem to go away. I’ve needed to go back into the theme customizer and add them back in. To add a link to your description, go into your customizer, go to the description section, and add the html as follows:

<a href=”url goes here”>link text goes here</a>

So mine is: <a href=”https://data-all-in-one.carrd.co”>Indie Data from Star Trek blog.</a>

The description for my Data blog reads: ‘Indie Data from Star Trek RP blog. Click here for navigation. 21+. Private/selective. Played by Fool.

What should be on this blog?

In my experience, you need a couple of pages on your blog to get you started:

About the character - basically a biography

Rules - so people know what you are about

About the mun - so people can know about the person they are writing with

Possibly a link to your ‘ask memes’ tag - see below.

These can be organized however you like, but people tend to look for a few specific things.

About the Character

This should read like a biography. Back in the day, we used to call them ‘character apps’ and they had all your basic info about the character. Sometimes this section contains a subsection called ‘verses’ in which the mun spells out what universes they exist in. Say I had an AU where Data owns an arcade in San Francisco in the 80’s. I’d list that as one of his ‘verses’. This is extremely important for OCs, but very helpful for canons too. 

Data has four: TNG era, TNG movie era, AU where he lives after Nemesis, AU where he’s around during Star Trek: Picard. I gave a little info about both. 

Rules

Rules are usually organized into the things people are looking for before they start playing with you. Some good info to include: 

Mun age

Your policy on adult content

How you deal with tagging triggers

Your policy on following back

Your policy on writing with mutuals vs. anyone

Do you allow personal blogs (non RP blogs) to follow you?

How fast do you reply?

How does your tagging system work?

How do you deal with shipping? 

Here is a link to my usual Rules page for reference. Remember, it’s not wrong if it’s different than mine!

Note: People will look for how old you are. Many people in the RPC are adults, and they want to write with people their own age. If your age is not posted somewhere clearly, they may not follow you back. 

About the Mun 

This is really just a little blurb about you. Some people include their age here. Some people include links to their other blogs. Some people include their Discord info, as that’s really popular right now. It’s just nice to know who you are writing with.

It’s important to note that there are different ways to present all of these blogs. Some people have them as pages on their Tumblr blog itself, some people put all of this (Bio, About, Rules, etc) in a Google Doc and link it, some people use Carrd.co - there are a ton of ways. A friend of mine did this amazing post about some options out there. I personally go for Carrd.co, seeing as I am on mobile a lot and I find it very helpful, but it’s up to you. 

Now I have a blog with all the info. How do I get started?

Well there are a few things you can do to get yourself out there.

Make yourself a promo. It’s basically an advertisement for your blog. If you aren’t good at graphics, you can head to an RP Resource blog and see if they have any you can use with their permission. You can also just post a picture with some info. For me, the info on this promo matches that of my blog description - I want people to know what I’m all about as soon as they look at it. Then you can tag for your appropriate fandom RP. Your mutuals will likely reblog to help spread the word. Yay.

Find a directory for your RPC by searching in the search. This will allow you to a) reblog your info and be listen in a place where people can find you and b) allow you to find others in your RPC in an organized way. Then you can go through, find people you think you’d like to follow, and follow them. 

Make a starter or plotter call. This is, again, just a picture or graphic and some information about it. Here is one I made for Data specifically asking for Picard threads:

I asked for a specific universe and a specific character here. I also put all relative tags in case someone is just searching Tumblr (although I think it’s more for the people who follow me). Here’s a simpler one I made for B-4 that’s a lot more open. 

They don’t have to be super fancy. 

When people see a starter call, they can like your post. This is a quick an easy way to let you know they are interested in a thread. 

4. Ask Memes. Asks are invaluable. There are whole blogs dedicated to ask memes that you can post to your blog, and these can be really easy ways for people to come up with plot ideas or just to read some of your writing. I always keep a link on my blog to everything tagged ‘ask meme’ so if people want to find a meme they have choices!

It seems like there’s a certain aesthetic on these new fangled RP blogs. Do I have to do that?

No! But you can, if you want. If you aren’t good at coding and graphics, there are a lot of RP resource sites that can help you. (Can I recommend this one?) It is nice to have things like a face claim, a nice looking promo, a cool theme, etc. but at the end of the day, we all just want to write and have fun.

Advice?

Look, I’ve only been RPing on Tumblr for a couple of months and I am by NO MEANS an expert. I have gotten all of this knowledge through the help of friends and nice strangers willing to answer questions for me. Here are a few things I have picked up:

Respect people’s rules - We are all shy and all have our own thing going on. If someone says they’re uncomfortable doing one thing, just like...don’t do it.

Talk to other people - Don’t ignore the mun! Unless they really want you to. It’s better to ask questions, compliment writing, talk about your plots and stuff...it’s so much harder than trying to figure out what the other person feels/wants.

Ask questions - I’m a 6th grade teacher, and I get a million and fuckton questions every minute usually. It’s been eye-opening, because now I’m all about asking questions about everything all the time. I think knowledge is amazing. People know all different things, and the most logical way to be a productive society is to share knowledge (that’s one of the main teachings of Surak) so ask some questions! Hell, ask me some questions! Reach out to someone who seems nice!

Okay, that’s all. Good luck!

[rwwinton]

I really want to do research about my family tree, but I've never had much luck with those family tree websites because my ancestors aren't really well known and when I get the 'hints' on the tree it's never about the right people. Do you have any advice for researching your family, or even where to start?

Thank you for the ask! I will start off by saying I’m definitely not an expert, but I will answer from my personal experience.

First, start with what you know. I started with the names and birthdates of my parents, then the names of my grandparents (I had to ask for where they were born and exact years). I knew a couple of the names of my great-grandparents, but that was where I started on step two.

Next, if there are any relatives in your family who might know more about the family, don’t hesitate to ask them. They can help you, a lot of the time, piece together what you know with added info.

My biggest thing is not give up on those websites. New people join them daily. You could be stuck for a while, then suddenly someone makes a tree public and it gives you a lead (it’s happened to me).

I also highly recommend, if you haven’t already, doing a DNA test. They are helpful because your matches often have their own trees that can give you leads. If their trees are set to public, it’s super helpful. I’ve never reached out to any of my matches, but that’s also something you can do to see who your common relatives are.

If you know where your family is from, you can try looking for that location’s archives. I know some places have been making records more available online to help researchers because COVID, so look them up. If you can go there, give it a shot. The number of records available online all over the world is only a fraction of the total records that exist.

Also, just try Google. Plug an ancestor’s name into the search and see what you bring up. You might be surprised. Any record related to a family member is helpful. Birth and death certificates, of course, but also draft registration cards, court records, ship passenger lists, census records, even newspapers.

Be aware of variations in spelling, as well. The same person might have records under various spellings. Also, take family stories with a grain of salt. Some facts can get misremembered or embellished over time. Even names can get mixed up. Always try to verify. Verifying means matching records to the info. Does a person’s info make sense in the context of other confirmed family info? (I had one multipleX-great grandfather who died in Nova Scotia while the rest of the family lived and died in New England. I wondered if he was the right person, or if there was another guy with the same name, which happens, of course. Come to find out, via a Google search, he was in the military and died in a shipwreck. If I hadn’t googled for more info than was on Ancestry, I would have written him off as the wrong guy.)

And, yeah, it’s entirely possible that you hit a wall and can’t go any farther. I got lucky with some of my branches being important in some way or another, but a whole lot of lines for the “average joe” ancestors do abruptly stop. It will depend on where you currently live and where your ancestors are from. Being that I’m American, many of my lines end with the person who came here. I’m always working to break through the brick walls, but sometimes the info just isn’t there. Records get lost or destroyed over time, but also lots of records get discovered buried in archives, churches, or random basements.

So my main tips to get started are: put down what you know, ask any family members who can help you for info, and do a DNA test (also recommend paying the basic membership fee for something like Ancestry to have better access to records, if that’s within your budget)

Basically, don’t give up.

(I’ll probably add to this later since I’m on a time crunch at the moment, but if you need anything clarified, please ask!)

[maxdark158]

PART TWO OF BEING INSPIRED AND WRITING ANYWAY

PLEASE check out the amazing @ozmav my friend!! AMAZING!!

Characters are probably OOC because MLB is a kids show and you guys liked stressed and cursing Damian so I kept that going even though it’s probably OOC

Angel in Gotham: Part 1 ~ Part 2 ~ Part 3 ~ Part 4 ~ Part 5 ~ Part 6 ~ Ao3

Demon in Gotham: Part 1 ~ Part 2 ~ Part 3 ~ Part 4 ~ Ao3

Fanart for AiG: Riddler ~ Joker thank you @thegreysman

Please tag me in any fanart you draw for this guys ^^

oooOOOooo

Damian tried to ignore his phone after checking it for the thirteenth time. But who was counting?

He was, actually. Because it seems the stupid worry feeling will never fucking go away! It took root, and it’s only growing. Damian wondered if drinking weedkiller works on emotions. The bitches.

He wasn’t even that worried initially! Sure, he wanted his An- Marinette to text him when she got to the hotel, but that was just… a friend thing. It’s what friends ask! And they were friends.

Damian wasn’t worried on the car ride to the manor, he had only checked his phone once then. When his father questioned him about The Riddler incident, he was thoroughly distracted and didn’t check at all. After he left the room he checked twice in one minute just to make sure he didn’t miss anything in the first check.

He checked sparsely while training briefly, adding up to eight… okay, maybe not so sparsely. But at this point the awful god damn plant had grown a mouth and it was gnawing on his sanity, bugging him every moment of peace he had.

Damian was getting really fucking sick of this whole worry business. It was awful! Why did Grayson partake in it for so many years? Why did anyone?

He was beginning to understand his classmates’ sense of humor now. But “I want to ka-shoot myself,” was not as funny as they thought it was.

Damian was so busy thinking about worrying and getting more worried – the fucking circle of life – that when he checked his phone for the fourteenth time, he realized he missed a message from Marinette.

Angel: I’m at the hotel now.

Thank fuck. Damian banished all the worry from his mind – leave, motherfucker – and typed out a response.

Damian: That’s good

Damian: Did you get in trouble?

Wait fuck the worry wasn’t gone. He wanted to smack the phone against his head. Or break his thumbs for typing that without his permission.

Angel: Professor Mendeleiev must’ve been tired or something.

Angel: She didn’t leacture

Damian bit his lip. Marinette needed to work on her English.

Angel: Lecture?

Damian: *lecture

Angel: Quiet, English is hard

He could fucking understand that! It may have been long ago but Damian had to learn once too, ya know.

Damian: Understandable.

Damian: In my original question I meant any of your classmates btw

Holy fucking shit his thumbs would be cut off by sunlight he swears to all the justice league members-

Angel: btw?

Angel: Oh by the way

Damian: yeah

Angel: I’m good at text slang in French, okay

Damian: I don’t doubt you

He really didn’t. Marinette seemed intelligent if The Riddler incident had anything to say about it.

Angel: Anyway Alya tried to bother me but I’m good now

He frowned. Alya? She hadn't told him about her.

Angel: Professor Mendeleiev told her off for bothering me after my ‘traumatic’ encounter with a Gotham villain

Damian: Speaking of, are you SURE you’re alright Angel

Damian sighed, letting his head drop. Okay, fucking fine he was still fucking worried and he hated it. His thumbs weren’t to blame, his fucking emotions were.

He pulled up Google to look up liquid weedkiller when his Ang- Marinette texted back.

Angel: I’m fine

Angel: I’ve survived akuma for three years, I’m not about to let some riddle fanatic with terrible clothing choices ruin my day

Damian: His clothes are that bad?

Good, subject change. Maybe he can stop fucking worrying.

Angel: Too much green, for one

Angel: Green shouldn’t be used in large portions when it’s that bright of a shade

Angel: Also the cloth itself was cheap, but the kind of cheap meant to look expensive if you don’t know cloth good

Damian frowned. That was so fucking obvious. Surely she didn’t actually make that mistake…

Damian: *well

Angel: Whatever

Angel: Also his hat didn’t match the type of suit he was wearing

Angel: If he wants to go old fashioned he should at least match the time period

Angel: Longer coat, more layers

Angel: He is an atrocity

Her comments were appreciable though. He could see where she came from.

Damian: he is

Angel: If I had time to cry then my tears would had been blood

Damian: *have

Damian grinned. If Marinette didn’t want her fucking grammar fixed she should learn how to spell in English.

A different motherfucking bitch of an emotion appeared at that thought. He didn’t like that one either. It made him feel bad for being mean.

Angel: istg

Damian: It appears you’re learning

Angel: Yepp

Damian: Also the Gotham news posted an article online about you

Might as well bite the bullet, right?

Damian: “Unnamed Teenager From France Holds off The Riddler Until Batman Arrives!”

Angel: Wait what?

Angel: But we both held him off?

Damian: I was kind of useless, you did most of the work

God damn it! Damian thought he told that emotion to get the fuck out! He was fucking Robin he isn’t useless, he just happened to not be needed at that exact moment.

Damian: I left shortly after you solved his riddle because the Robins had arrived

He grumbled to himself. He hated emotions. It wasn’t like he hadn’t ever felt them before, but they were easier to ignore. This girl made them hard to ignore, and Damian wasn’t sure why.

He did know that he fucking hated it.

After a moment, he realized h- Marinette hadn’t replied for a few minutes.

Damian: You there?

Angel: Yeah. I was just reading the article

Good. He didn’t want anything to happen- motherfucking dammit.

Angel: The Riddler was bad at hand to hand combat. It was easy to take him down with the practice I have from Paris

Damian: I bet.

He saw the time on his phone. Marinette had more field trip stuff tomorrow morning, right? Shouldn’t she get to bed?

Damian: It’s getting late, Angel. We should go to bed.

Damian: Goodnight

Angel: Goodnight

Angel: Also I’ll find a chat name for you soon, promise

Damian’s smile felt weird on his face but unlike the god damn worry and fucking other emotions, he didn’t hate the feeling of it.

After replying, he prepared to get dressed for his patrol as Robin.

oooOOOooo

“Sooo, Robin,” Drake dropped down next to him. “Want to share why you were at that ice cream parlor with that pigtailed French girl?”

“Fuck off,” is Damian’s extremely eloquent response. He can say it in many different languages.

“Wait, Demon Spawn has a girlfriend?” fucking Todd over the fucking comms in his fucking awful Red Hood suit. At least his current helmet didn’t have the fucking lips.

“No, I don’t-“

“I’m trying to figure that out, Red Hood, so would you kindly butt out of the conversation.”

“Of course Red Robin, good luck getting anything out of him though.”

“I don’t have a fucking girlfriend you numbskulls,” Damian hissed through the comms.

“Wait what’s this about a girlfriend, Robin?” Grayson’s overexcited cheerleader voice screamed. Damian wanted to rip out his eardrums.

“Red Robin, I thought I instructed you to leave him alone about this,” finally, his father, for once being a fucking voice of reason, speaks on the comms.

“Bruce you said I should wait until he admits to having a girlfriend,” Drake sounded too smug, Damian wanted to cut it off his masked face. “We know that isn’t going to happen.”

“I hate this fucking family,” Damian hissed.

oooOOOooo

Marinette hadn’t missed her field trip this time. Or had she? Maybe she slept in really fucking late. Damian didn’t know. He didn’t know what her sleeping schedule was like.

She could have also been captured or killed. Those were not fun thoughts. The fucking worry was back, like a virus. Damian anxiously awaited his weedkiller.

She likely wasn’t kidnapped or dead. His father would have known by now and would have told him. He hopes. If his father didn’t tell him he’s a fucking asshole.

“Master Damian.”

“Yes?” he turned around to face Alfred, grateful to be away from the god damn brain-eating plant in his head.

“I simply wanted to prevent you from walking into that wall,” Alfred gestured behind Damian.

He glanced and – yep. Fucking hell. He almost walked into a wall because of the god damn weed of an emotion forcibly taking his mind hostage.

He was having a grand ol’ time.

“Perhaps you would like to go for a drive?” Alfred asked, a single brow raised.

Damian hesitated. “Alright. Where do you want to go?”

“We can figure it out in the car, Master Damian.” Alfred went to grab the keys and his shoes. Damian checked on when his weedkiller would arrive.

A week.

Fucking fuck fuck.

He should have paid for one-hour shipping.

“Are you ready to go, Master Damian?”

“Yes.”

Alfred didn’t try to talk to him during the drive, for which Damian was grateful though. He hated this emotion thing, and people forcing him to talk made it so much worse.

His phone buzzed. Damian pulled it out and checked it.

Angel: Kill me now

His eyes widened. What happened? Is she okay? Did someone- god fucking motherfucking dammit bitch.

Damian: What’s wrong?

Stupid god damn worry.

Angel: We have to all get lunch as a class before I’m free

Angel: I’m in the group with Liar Rossi

Damian raised a brow. Marinette hadn’t told him much about this girl in her class, but he knew she lied and nobody but Marinette knew she lied.

He didn’t like her.

Angel: Death would be sweatier

Damian: *sweeter

Angel: Rude

Damian: Anyway

Damian: You can’t die yet

Damian: We still technically didn’t get ice cream

Absolutely wonderful excuse you fucking asswhipe. Damian should be a politician with that reasoning.

He looked around, recognizing the streets. They were a bit weird from the actual street instead of the rooftops, but-

Damian: Also you’re at the Gotham City Heroes and Villains Museum right?

Angel: Yes I am

Damian fought to keep the smi- self-satisfied smirk off his face. Bingo.

Damian: I’m nearby

Damian: I can pick you up for lunch

Angel: OMG really? Please do I’d really really like that

Damian: omw

“Alfred,” Damian leaned up toward the front seat. “Head to the Gotham City Heroes and Villains Museum? I’d like to pick someone up.”

“Of course Master Damian,” Alfred’s tone didn’t betray anything about his thoughts, but for some reason that was calming to him.

The car drive to the museum was fairly short, if Damian was honest. They were only a few minutes away to begin with anyway.

When they arrived, Damian saw a redhaired girl with glasses yelling at his An- Marinette. At Marinette. He couldn’t hear what Marinette had said, but it must have been good. The red-haired girl’s jaw fucking dropped. The people behind her looked fucking dead.

Priceless.

Marinette saw him and he waved. Alfred unlocked the door, and Marinette got in. She didn’t look back at her classmates' faces as Alfred drove away.

Shit. Something must have happened. He wasn’t good with emotions though, after all he ordered weedkiller to see if he could get rid of fucking worry.

So, Damian Wayne did what any Wayne would do when faced with emotions.

Ignore them.

“Where would you like to eat, Angel?” Damian asked.

Shit, fuck, too insensitive.

Marinette shrugged. “I’m not sure, I don’t know what’s here.”

She sounded so goddamn miserable-

Damian frowned. “Angel, you okay?”

Fucking shit, stupid mouth. Learn the fucking rules. He should be banned from fucking talking.

“I’m okay,” she mumbled. “I’ve got a lot on my mind right now.”

Damian wanted to press the issue but decided against it. If he was happy when Alfred didn’t make him talk feelings, maybe Marinette would be too.

He was a friend first – wait first before what, exactly?

“Alfred, can you take us to the nearest,” he glanced at Marinette. “four-star restaurant?”

“As you wish Master Damian.”

He hoped Marinette didn’t feel out of place, but he wanted to lift her spirits. She deserved to smile – that was a weird fucking sentence what the fuck?

Damian is pretty sure he’s losing his marbles.

“I know,” Marinette suddenly blurted out. “I know you’re Damian Wayne.”

Fucking fuck fuck.

Shit. She’s probably pissed he didn’t tell her-

“I just want you to know that doesn’t change anything. You’re still my friend, and I don’t care who your dad is and who you are.”

Damian gaped at her for a moment before shaking his head. He should have fucking told her, he’s an ass. “I’m sorry you had to find out on your own. I should have told you-”

Marinette interrupted, “you didn’t have to. You don’t owe me that.”

He was confused. What?

She didn’t want to know who he was right off the bat? She was okay with that secret?

“As a stranger or even a friend, you don’t owe me any details about who you are. Ever,” Marinette told him. “You’re allowed to keep secrets and not tell me things you aren’t comfortable sharing. It isn’t fair of me to demand you tell me everything.”

Holy fucking shit.

This… this woman…

“Thank you,” he said earnestly. “I… nobody’s ever said secrets are okay…”

Marinette shrugged. “I can’t help if I feel left out, but forcing you to tell me everything isn’t how friendship is supposed to work. If you don’t want to tell me, it’s okay.”

Damian’s smile was small, and it felt a bit out of place on his face. He couldn’t find it within himself to care.

“Perhaps instead of a restaurant, I can take you both to the mansion for your lunch?” Alfred, the god damn traitor, suggested.

He wanted to say ‘have you lost your god damn marbles, Alfred?’ but he didn’t.

Instead, he said, “You sure Alfred?” like a fucking loser.

Marinette glanced at him. “You don’t have to if you aren’t comforta-”

“No, it’s not that,” he assured. Why would she think he was uncomfortable? His brothers were menaces, but he was used to them! Marinette, however... “My brothers can be… rambunctious.”

Drake and Todd were going to have a fucking field day, especially after what they pulled last night over the comms. He was lucky Grayson was working today. But those two motherfuckers…

Marinette smiled. “I can handle them if that’s the only reason you’re nervous.”

Damian thought for a moment.

Fucking fuck fuck.

He hoped she could. Because if they caused her any unnecessary harm or discomfort he would murder their asses.

With pleasure too.

But one look told Damian that he wouldn’t need to. This girl was going to be the death of him. He hoped the weedkiller was miraculously early.

He sighed. “Alfred, please talk us to the mansion.”

“My pleasure, Master Damian.”

Fucking fuck fuck.

[racetrackhiggins]

Hanukkah Binch

This is from the rp that me and @alkimara did a while back, I actually looked at the date, and this segment in particular is from like a year ago, I went back and formatted it from discord and made a couple spelling error edits I noticed but there’s probably more. They requested I post it after seeing a post about there not being a lot of Hanukkah celebration fics and stuff

Disclaimer: neither of us are Jewish, all the information I wrote in here was honestly taken from hours of googling, but I might have still gotten some stuff wrong, but I hope it’s at least okay :) 

word count: 15433 ship: finch/buttons

-

Well, another year, another lonely Hanukkah. Finch had tried to remake his mom's challah, but it wasn't the same, and he'd let it sit too long in the oven. Might as well toss it. He wondered what his mom was doing... He wondered if she missed him as much as he sometimes missed her. But he couldn't go back, not with that monster of a stepdad living there. He'd probably end up dead if he ever stepped foot in there while having a boyfriend. 

He spun the little dreidel on the coffee table idly, watching as it landed on gimel. Whole pot. Had he been playing with someone. 

He sighed, looking at his phone again. Buttons' still hadn't responded to his text. He was probably having fun with his family, Finch couldn't blame him. Maybe he should just work on that animation, at least it would give him something to do…

Buttons saw Finch turned away, and was quiet, so so quiet... "Hey babe~," He giggled, wrapping his arms around Finch's waist. "How are you~?" He looked around, noticing immediately that Finch was alone here, and his heart broke slightly.

Finch nearly screamed, whipping around. "My god, you almost gave me a fucking heart attack!" He looked at Buttons with a disbelieving smile on his face. "What the fuck are you doing here, I thought you were with your family?"

"I heard you were here being alone and mopey," Buttons hummed, "Came to either give you company or invite you over. Or both." He looked over, "Can't play dreidel with a party of one. Well... You'd gotta teach me how to play.'

Finch was quiet for a moment. Don't cry, don't cry, don't cry, don't- fuck. He covered his face so Buttons wouldn't see him crying.

"Wh-? Hey... Babe?" Buttons gently curled Finch closer, nuzzling close. "I got you..."

"S-sorry, just..." he couldn't finish the sentence, worming himself around to hug Buttons' neck tightly, burying his face into the crook of it.

"I got ya... You wanna come over? Bring some stuff? You'd probably be teaching us a lot," He chuckled. He moved to rub Finch's back, "Literally I've been trying to get them to let you come over since the break... Finally got 'em."

Finch nodded softly. It had been a long time since he'd been in a... family environment, unless you counted this as a family. Which he kinda did. "I-I'd like that," he said quietly.

"Alrighty, pack your things, and uh... We'll try not to break anything," Buttons hummed. "I may or may not have family in the car downstairs."

Finch laughed in disbelief. "I can't believe you..." But he got up, starting to pack his things, just kinda emptying out his bookbag and stuffing some clothes, his laptop, and some chargers into it. When he came back out with it on his shoulder, he glanced over at the stupid little plastic menorah. He didn't even consider himself a practicing Jew anymore, but... the dumb little fake flames made him feel connected to his mom, in a way. He looked away, clearing his throat. "Guess I'm ready."

"Clearly, you're not," Buttons hummed, going to pick up the menorah. He also picked up the dreidel, though that was more in secret. He handed the menorah to Finch with a small smile, because supportive boyfriends are supportive. "Now, is that everything?"

Finch gave him a small smile as he held onto the menorah's base. "Yeah..." He pressed a kiss to Buttons' cheek.

Buttons smiled, kissing Finch's forehead in return as he brought the other downstairs and to the car.

"So, you're Benny's boyfriend~?" An older girl asked with a smirk, an eyebrow raised. 

"Oh, here we go," Buttons mumbled.

Finch grinned, glancing at Buttons. "Yep," he said a little shyly. "I'm Finch."

"Good to meet you, Fin- aAH!!" 

A younger boy shot up from the passenger seat, "42 WALLABY WAY SYDNEY- Oh that was fast." He laughed as he got hit by the girl who was driving. 

Buttons sighed, opening the rear door, "My older brother and sister, Ed and Jan. Ed has narcolepsy."

Finch snickered, "Hi, nice Finding Nemo reference." He kinda fiddled with one of the unlit bulbs on the menorah, not really sure what to say. As an only child, he'd had no idea what to do with siblings in general.

"Welllll hop in!" Jan laughed. 

Ed beamed, "Why thank you." 

Buttons stepped to the side, helping Finch into the car before climbing in himself, being careful with Finch's stuff and especially the menorah. Ed looked over at it, eyes wide in curiosity, but he didn't comment, instead deciding to vibrate in place.

Finch very subtly took Buttons' hand when he got in, partially out of nerves. "So, uh, how old are you guys?" he asked to the two up front.

"25," Jan answered, starting to drive. 

"23," Ed said, blinking slowly, "Trying to get settled in my own place, but I'm not allowed to be alone, in case I fall and hurt myself."

"Versus I'm just working from home to help our parents pay for all of your colleges," Jan said again, glaring in the rear-view at Buttons, who shrugged. He gently intertwined his fingers with Finch's, trying to relax Finch by rubbing his thumb over his hand.

"Ah," Finch nodded. Um... "What about the others?" He knows Buttons had mentioned bits about them before but he couldn't for the life of him remember.

"Benny's 21, Amy's gonna graduate now at 18, Max is 17, and Junior is 12," Jan answered, squinting at the road. "Road work ahead," She muttered. 

"I sure hope it does," Ed smirked. 

"If I wasn't driving, I'd knock you into another coma," Jan growled. 

"I can do that myself, thank you very much," Ed winked.

"At least he's cultured," Finch snickered, maybe not so subtly leaning against Buttons. Boy was like a damn cat sometimes.

Buttons moved an arm around Finch, switching the hand he was holding Finch's hand with. He hummed, shifting to be comfortable, even with their seat belts on. 

"Cuddlebugs," Jan giggled. "But also- Ben? Mom was asking if you two wanted to share a room." 

"Ohoho??" Ed wiggled his eyebrows, grinning.

"I mean, we already share a room, so even if we weren't dating I wouldn't have a problem with it," Finch pointed out. "Plus, I'd hate ta steal someone else's room."

"Ed, knock it off," Buttons groaned. 

"I second that," Jan said, flicking Ed's forehead.

"I mean, he's got a point," Finch murmured with a grin to Buttons.

Buttons blushed a bit, murmuring back, "Yeah but they don't gotta know that." 

Ed had a giant smirk on his face.

"Alright, boys~ we're home~!" Jan announced as she pulled up to the house. "Please leave your limbs inside the vehicle until we've come to a full and complete st- eDWARD!" Ed had opened the door and hopped out of the car, racing to the front door. Jan groaned as she put the car in park and turned it off, getting out, "I have the keys you idiot!!" 

Buttons hummed, getting out of the car and helping Finch out with his stuff.

"I'm guessing it's always this chaotic?" Finch smiled, trying to pretend he wasn't nervous about meeting Finch's whole family. He'd already known that Buttons' family had inherited a nice house but like... this was 

 nice.

"Oh, it's worse inside," Buttons snickered. "Be careful with the twelve-year-old. We're trying to keep him from swearing," He hummed, moving to help the other inside. 

At the door was an older woman, standing inside the house with a kind smile. She was hugging each of her children and kissing their cheeks, and Buttons looked a little nervous. "Hey, mom," He smiled, going to hug her. "This is my boyfriend-" 

The woman turned to Finch, pulling him into a hug, "Hello! Welcome! What's your name??"

"Finch, nice ta meet you, ma'am," Finch said politely, a little surprised by the hug. Did he hug back??

A younger looking boy ran down the stairs. "OOOOO, BENNY'S BROUGHT HIS BOYFRIEND~!" he shouted for the whole house to hear. 

"June, 

," a mousy looking girl said, pushing his face as she passed him. 

"Hey! Mom! Amy pushed me!" Junior shouted as if she weren't right there. 

"Did not!" Amy argued. 

Finch just kinda glanced at Buttons as if to ask if this was normal for siblings.

Buttons just sighed in distress. His mom soon released Finch from the hug, "Finch. Ah- it's okay, I suppose you can share your real name when the family isn't all about. I've heard about your little code names." She smiled at Buttons, who glared and slowly narrowed his eyes. "Right, Button~?" God damn it. 

Buttons sighed, "I'll go set up my room. Where's Max?" 

"Practicing, I think," His mom answered. 

Buttons nodded, looking at Finch, "Well, c'mon. Let's get you settled."

Finch nodded, carrying his stuff and letting Buttons lead him. 

Junior was 

 following them, curious about the new boy and the weird candle thing he was holding.

"Junior, whatcha doin'?" Buttons hummed casually, opening the door to his room. He moved to help Finch set his stuff down, going to flop on his giant bed, making it pretty clear that they'd be sharing. He looked over at his little brother, an eyebrow raised.

"What's that thing?" Junior asked, pointing at the menorah. 

"It's a menorah, but like really shi- uh, not very well made. An actual one would have real candles," Finch explained, barely catching himself. 

"What's it for?" Junior asked. 

"It's, uh, well, it's a Jewish tradition to light them, one a night, to represent the eight nights oil stayed burning when it was only supposed to last two," Finch explained, a little happily. 

"Oh, its that Hanukkah thing! I've heard about those, I've never seen a real one." 

Finch snorted, "I'm not even sure this really counts, but it's all I could afford so..."

"I think it counts," Buttons said softly, putting an arm over Finch's shoulders. 

"Looks like you made it all by yourself~. You're more talented than just drawing, y'know," Buttons smiled. He looked at Junior, "Finch makes animations and drawings! Don'tcha, Finch?"

"Yeah," Finch said sheepishly. 

"Like Disney?!" Junior asked excitedly. 

"Like... well, I guess, but I'm certainly not good enough to make a whole animated film, maybe a short at most," Finch shrugged, scratching the back of his neck. 

"Woah..."

Buttons was beaming, "Yeah, I've got a pretty talented boyfriend, huh~?"

... And now there was a loud electric guitar coming from the next room. Buttons sighed. Max.

"No fair you have a cool boyfriend," Junior pouted, ignoring the guitar. 

Finch flushed a little at that. What, no, he wasn't cool! He looked up at the guitar, looking at Buttons as he sighed.

Buttons smirked, "'Course I do~." He looked over at Finch, "That's Max. They're. Uh. I don't know the term. Rock band. Very... metal."

"Sounds like 

 cool," Finch chuckled softly as Junior ran off. "I am certainly not the cool boyfriend. I'm just some animating nerd who showed up with a dumb handmade menorah." He flopped next to the bags, sighing softly as he set the thing down. The lights flickered for a second, and he tensed up for a moment before they went to normal. "Probably won't even last much longer if I don't change out the wires. Why bother though?" he murmured under his breath.

Buttons pouted, going over and flopping on top of Finch. "Because it looks like it means a lot to you," He said softly. "I don't know why, but it does. If you need help, we can fix it," He murmured, kissing Finch lightly.

Finch looked up at Buttons softly. "You know why I stay at the dorm instead of going home every year?" he asked quietly, knowing full well he hadn't told anyone about his family situation, not even Buttons.

"No," Buttons said softly, moving off of the other and sitting next to him, carefully holding Finch's hand.

"Cause I ran away from home when I was sixteen," Finch said, letting out a small, humorless laugh. "My stepdad nearly killed me when he found out I was gay, my mom never knew how he treated me when she wasn't looking... So I left."

Button's eyes widened, and he moved closer to Finch, looking at the other with an expression that could only be described as holding a lot of emotions.

Finch had to look away from him, running a hand through his hair. "My dad died when I was thirteen, and Aaron came in and 'saved' my grieving mother not long after." He sighed, holding onto the menorah and looking at it. "Guess this is me just trying to feel like I did in the past. Obviously, it's not the same. Can't even actually light this stupid thing." He sounded a little bitter about it. "But I couldn't use real candles in this or I'd just burn something down."

Buttons was biting his lip, thinking. He gently looked over, taking the menorah and turning it off. He set it to the side, standing and tugging Finch out of the room, heading out to the garage with the other, still quiet and thinking. He let go of the other, grabbing a stool and climbing on it, reaching for a large blue bin. He grabbed it, carefully pulling it down and setting it on the ground with a grunt. After digging around for a few seconds, he pulled out a 

 bag of clay, putting it on the metal table. He looked at Finch, "Bake-able clay. Will not melt from a candle. Well- not if we put in the little metal cups at the bottom." He dug around, pulling out the metal cups that were usually seen in tiny candles. Except there was no wax or wick. "Jan used to play around with candles," Buttons hummed, setting the metal pieces on the table as well. He looked at Finch, heading around the box and going to take the other's hands again. "It might not be the same, you might not be able to get to the past, but... There's nothing wrong with remembering how happy you were."

Finch watched with confusion until Buttons started explaining. He bit his lip, and god damn it, he was starting to tear up again. "Hah, we could make real dreidels with that too," he said, trying to blink away the wetness to not much avail.

Buttons saw the tearing up, "Oh. I did it again." He chuckled, gently offering his arms for a hug, "Also, 

 make the dreidels. Or you'd have to teach me how to help."

"I can help," Ed said, peeking in. Buttons glanced away, and Ed continued, 

 "Please?" Buttons said softly. 

"I didn't say no," Ed laughed, moving into the room.

"Sorry I'm coming in and Jewing everything up," Finch joked, wiping his eyes. "I really appreciate it, though..."

"Jesus was Jewish," Ed snorted softly, going to pat Finch's head before moving to pull the clay out of the bag. He blinked, going for his set of sculpting tools and setting them out before starting to play with different pieces of clay. "Plus we mostly celebrate Christmas for each other and presents," He chuckled.

"Very true. To be fair, most Jews believe that a guy named Jesus existed and was probably a cool dude... that's about the extent of it though," Finch grinned, feeling much better.

Buttons had moved to grab another piece of clay, playing around with it to warm it up. 

"Lit," Ed said with a grin.

Finch grabbed a piece, kneading it. "I've only made a dreidel once before, wonder if I could do it again. I'm still convinced my dad had switched it out with a better one so I wouldn't feel bad when it didn't spin right," Finch said, smiling softly... damn, it had been a long time since he'd thought of that.

"What's so hard about making a spin?" Ed grinned, grabbing the entire thing of clay- which was as big as a laptop -and just dumping it out, starting to knead it like a large piece of dough. "Shit, this is hard," He mumbled.

"I mean, I was also like six at the time," Finch grinned. "And my dad was a sculptor for a living." He snickered at Ed, "I don't think we're making bread, that's a whole other tradition. I do remember he said it should be about the size of the hole of your fingers," he said, holding his pointer and thumb together in a circle.

"Yeah, but I'm tryin to smooth this out for the uh... the candle stick... What's it called?" Ed tilted his head, curious. 

Buttons took a smaller piece of his big piece, holding it out, "Like this?"

"Menorah," Finch said, nodding in approval to Buttons. He was rolling the clay into a ball, starting to roll a point with his palm. For a moment, he could swear he felt his dad beside him, reminding him how to do it. There was a small smile on his face, perhaps bittersweet.

Buttons leaned over from his spot, watching, trying to follow as he did it. 

"Right," Ed hummed, still rolling out the clay. And then he hummed again. "Well. Maybe you'll need to do this alone." 

"Ed???" Buttons looked over. 

Ed gave a thumbs up, moving over to the hammock in the room, and barely managing to get on it before collapsing, snoring lightly. 

Buttons sighed.

Finch laughed softly. "I don't mind." He scooted closer to Buttons, letting him see exactly how he was doing it. 

 he heard in his head. Finch repeated it to Buttons, not realizing he'd copied his dad's Spanish accent, too focused on the actions of his fingers.

Buttons blushed a bit at the accent, but didn't dare break the spell that Finch was under, following along as best as he could.

"Could ya hand me the little... that thing with the string on it?" Finch asked in his normal accent, pointing in the direction of the tools.

"Yup," Buttons hummed, grabbing it and moving it over to Finch.

Finch took the string and used it to cut clean sides onto it, and suddenly it looked like a somewhat long dreidel. He set it on the ground, slicing it down to size before taking the extra and beginning to form it into a little rolled snaky piece for the top of the spinner to be cut out of.

"Ohh what the..." Buttons took the string piece, trying to copy what Finch had done. A little crooked, but it still looked like a dreidel. Mostly.

"Looks good!" Finch grinned proudly at him, kissing his cheek. He molded the snaky part to the top of his dreidel, smoothing it out so it looked nearly seamless, before pinching the extra off and molding it to be a neat top. "Do you have paint? It would be easier than trying to cut the symbols in."

Buttons was sticking his tongue out as he followed, "Yeah, more paint in the bin. There's also some teeeeeny tiny brushes." He was squinting, trying to focus, so happy that Finch said it looked good.

"Sweet, then this is done to bake," Finch smiled. He looked over at the menorah, thinking. If they were gonna make it candle-safe, then there would be no need for the wires.... He could just use the base and sculpt over it with clay, then- wait, no the plastic would probably melt in the oven. "I think we just start completely over," Finch murmured, setting the menorah down, using it as a visual example as he started rolling out a base from Ed's big ball.

"Alright," Buttons said after a moment, seeing no other way. "We can use the little metal bits as molds for where the candle will go?" He offered, using some wire to start planning out the structure. He ran into the house and back out again, having a roll of aluminum foil. He started rolling off large sheets, trying to build up the menorah’s main bulk.

Finch smiled, just looking at Buttons for a long moment as he worked. It was fitting, maybe. Finch had made his menorah years ago out of homesickness and sorrow, never quite content with it. Now Buttons was here, helping him build a new good memory to associate with Hanukkah. Not just the sad longing of the past.

Buttons caught the look, giggling softly. He moved over, gently kissing Finch, 'cause the other was just too damn cute. "Alright," He hummed, pushing the menorah forwards, "I did my very best~!"

"I love you so much," Finch said softly as he took the menorah base. He looked back up at Buttons with a small smile. "Thank you for doing this with me, and for not letting me be alone this year."

Buttons smiled softly, "'Course... I love you too, Finch. A lot. I'm glad you're here with me. Even if my family is uh... Crazy." He chuckled a bit, happy.

Finch laughed softly. "I certainly see why you seemed so used to the Newsies when we moved in." He had a long rope of clay at this point, and he put the end on the bottom of the base, starting to wind it around the foil, making sure there were no breaks in it.

"Yeah," Buttons giggled, watching the other.

Finch managed to get it halfway up before he needed to roll more. He quickly rolled it out, his tongue sticking out a little bit in focus as he did. He carefully molded it to the end of the previous one so you couldn't tell the end or start of either. He winded it up the rest of the way, nodding a little bit in satisfaction.

Buttons just watched, his elbows on the table. He was fascinated with how the other worked, and snorted softly, "Y'know I'm like. The only one in my family that doesn't have artistic talent? Ed can sculpt like a badass, Amy can paint, Max loves their guitar like it's their kid. Jan with watercolors is something extraterrestrial. We don't really know if Junior has anything, though." Buttons sunk, moving his face against the table, "Then there's me, who I guess can sew. And my artistic and talented as fuck boyfriend~."

"But you're cute as a button~" Finch teased, glancing up at him. "And at least you have a life skill," he said, nodding at him.

Buttons rolled his eyes, "My mom says that too much. Jack said my name in front of her and it was the death of me. I'm just a ghost." He giggled, and blinked. He gasped, offended, "Art is a life skill!! Look at this sculpting talent from a beautifully sculpted man! You could sell things online!!" He grinned at Finch, his voice loud and dramatic.

"Shh, you'll wake your brother up," Finch said, definitely not turning red at all.

Buttons giggled, "I could- and have -screamed into his ear. Doesn't do a thing."

Finch laughed softly, starting to wrap the clay in the same fashion around one of the prongs of the candleholders.

Buttons moved over, wrapping his arms around Finch's waist, nuzzling into his back, but not hindering the other from working. "I~ Love~ You~," Buttons hummed with a smile.

"I love you too~" Finch hummed, glancing at him for a moment, leaning his head against him.

Buttons moved to kiss the other happily. 

"Gay." 

Buttons sighed, pressing his head against Finch's shoulder, "Gotta love my family." 

Jan giggled, "Mom wanted me to let you know Dinner will be ready in around an hour." 

"Alright, thanks, Jan," Buttons said, still hiding his blush and cuddling with Finch.

"Sure, Jan," Finch said in an imitation of the meme with a small giggle as he worked. "Hopefully I'll at least be done with this part... yeah, no there's no way I will."

Jan rolled her eyes, heading off again. 

Buttons sighed, looking up, "I can help. Maybe. Yes?" He looked hopeful.

"You can go ahead a roll out more? That way when I run out, I have more ready," Finch suggested.

"Alrighty~!" Buttons beamed, moving away to go roll out more clay happily.

Finch smiled as he kept working, planning ahead in his mind, realizing that he was very much modeling it after the one his mother had. The twists were more like his dad, though. By the end of the hour, he'd finished one side of the menorah.

At some point during the hour, Ed had bolted awake. And then slapped himself to keep himself awake. "Fuckin'..." He sighed, waving to the two as he moved out of the room.

At the end of the hour, Buttons was beaming, "It looks great!" He looked excited, practically vibrating in place. "Alright, c'mon~," He giggled, gently moving the Menorah to the middle of the table where it would be safe. He smiled at Finch, leading the other to the kitchen happily.

Finch grinned back to him, following him. 

Buttons' dad was in the kitchen, totally not flirting teasingly with his wife. "Hey, Ben, how goes it?" he grinned, pulling away from her to ruffle Buttons' hair. "You must be Finch," he said in a friendly manner, shaking Finch's hand. "You can just call me Peter." 

"Nice to meet you, sir," Finch said a little sheepishly.

Buttons sighed, smiling a bit from his father's head-rub. "Hey, Dad," He chuckled, moving to help set the table. He smiled a but at Finch and his dad, confident that they'd get along okay.

Junior came bounding down the stairs, making web-slinging noises as he pretended to be swinging in like Spiderman. "I hear there is... dinner~" he said dramatically. He dropped it after a second, pouting, "Amy says she's not coming cause she has to write a paper." 

Peter sighed, glancing at his wife. "You want me to get her or just bring her a plate?" 

Finch sorta scooted a little closer to Buttons.

Buttons blinked, gently tugging Finch closer, "It's okay, no one's gonna eat you." He giggled a bit, kissing Finch's cheek. 

Max came downstairs with a sigh. They appeared completely androgynous, black hair and black and pale makeup over their face. They definitely stood out from the crowd with the black metal t-shirt and spiked bracelets, but they just hummed as they moved to help set everything up, nodding their head casually at Finch.

"You sure?" Finch asked quietly at Max's appearance, and he'd certainly be lying if he said he wasn't a little intimidated by them.

"Well, I might, but not now," Buttons snickered quietly. "Also, don't worry about Max. They're doing their thing, and we love them anyway," Buttons giggled, a little louder. 

Max gave a rock on symbol with their hand, smiling a bit.

.

Button's mother, Jess, sighed. "Go bring her down, she has the entire week and can take a 20 minute break for family." She pecked husband's lips, moving to bring things to the table.

Peter nodded, heading upstairs as Junior hung onto his mom's arm. "Gross, you gave Dad cooties~" 

Finch laughed softly, "Fair enough." He waited for Buttons to tell him where to go/what to do.

Jess hummed, "He already had cooties long before you were born." And she looked at Jan, the eldest. 

Ed hummed, moving to sit, and Buttons gently motioned for Finch to sit next to himself. Ed sat across from Finch, Max going to sit on the other side of Finch instead. Jan sat next to Ed, leaving the last spot for Amy, and the heads of the table for their parents.

"Ewww," Junior cried, running off to the table. He leaned close to Buttons, "Mom made a dirty joke," he said scandalously. 

Finch snorted, covering his mouth to try to disguise his laugh as a cough.

Jess rolled her eyes, smiling a bit as she moved to sit. She sighed, waiting for Peter and Amy.

Amy came down and sat down, sighing a little bit. Peter came and sat at the other end of the table. "Looks great, hun," he said, looking at the spread.

Jess smiled at that, "Had to work my best magic for our guest." 

The people at the table moved to hold hands, Max gently taking Finch's other to connect the circle. Hm. Black fingerless gloves. After quickly saying grace, Buttons, Jan, and Jess moved to serve the food. When that was done, they sat again, and started to eat.

Finch felt a sort of pang in his heart that he elected to ignore as he started to eat. "It's really good, ma'am," he said politely.

"Thank you," She hummed with a smile. "So, why don't you tell us a bit about yourself?" Ah. The family interrogation. Buttons sighed, as if he was expecting this.

"Oh, um, well, I'm in my third year like Benny, and I'm going for an Animation major," Finch said.

"Oh, good luck," Jess said politely. "Sounds like a fun field, certainly a lot of work!" 

"Takes me forever for one sketch," Jan said with a bit of a laugh.

"Yeah, it can take me weeks to do a ten minute short, " Finch grinned. "I had to simplify my style a little to make even that."

"Wow," Jan laughed. 

"Big yikes," Ed nodded in agreement.

"Yeah... Ben's had to drag me away from my tablet at 3 am cause I was still working on a project," Finch chuckled, glancing at Buttons.

"At 3am you weren't even focusing," Buttons grinned. 

Jan chuckled, "Deadlines suck."

Finch nodded in agreement. 

"Could you draw Spiderman?" Junior asked, his eyes sparkling. 

"Yeah, sure!" Finch said. 

"I wanna be Spiderman, he's so cool, and he lives in New York, so I could be Spiderman," Junior said idly as he ate. 

Hm. Alright. Finch could do that, probably by the end of the week.

Ed giggled, "Just gotta find a radioactive spider." 

Jan flicked his arm.

Junior nodded, "Mhm." 

"Don't go around trying to get bit by spiders," Peter warned, glancing at Ed. 

Junior pouted a little, but simply kept eating. 

"I'm done, can I go work on my paper now?" Amy asked. 

"Sure, tell your little internet girlfriend we say hi," Peter teased. 

Amy blushed a little bit, but didn't respond to that as she took her plate to the kitchen.

Ed shrugged. 

"Good luck, Amy~!" Jan said cheerfully. 

Max kept eating, remembering something. Ah, they'd just bring it up when they needed to.

Once everyone was done eating, Junior ran to go play video games until his mom told him to get off of it, and Peter carried plates to the sink to wash them. 

Finch looked down at the table, murmuring a short and quick prayer, hoping no one noticed. He stood up. "Do we need to help..?" he asked Buttons.

Max had done the same without even asking, just staying by Finch. Seems someone was educated. Buttons was a bit confused but respectful, leaving his hands in his lap and waiting until Finch was done. "Nah, my dish day was yesterday," Buttons said with a smile, "We can probably just go up to the room." 

Max got up, moving to the kitchen, because today was their dish day.

"Would it be okay if I went and tried to finish the menorah first?" Finch asked softly.

"Shit, almost forgot," Buttons huffed. "Yeah, let's go." He smiled at the other, moving back to the garage.

And then Jan grabbed him. He squeaked, Jan holding him a chokehold as she said kindly, "You go on ahead, I'd like to talk to Ben for a second."

"O-okay," Finch said. "Please don't break my boyfriend." He waved to Buttons as he went back to the garage and got back to work.

"I'll do my best," Jan beamed. 

Ed moved back into the garage a few minutes later, getting some clay from the larger wad. He looked over at Finch's sculpture, "Looks nice." He started messing with the clay, working on his own thing.

-

 Buttons squeaked. 

"Why else would you bring him home?" Jan smirked. 

"Because?? He was at college all alone???" He answered, face bright red. "Okay- I- Jan- I know I love him- but like- we 

"Never too early or late to hop on the wedding train," Jan grinned. 

"Says you! Where's your marriage?" Buttons glared. 

Jan put a hand over her chest dramatically, "Across the seven seas in aromantic land, remember?" Buttons groaned, looking at her, and she giggled. "I just wanted to see what was up. Everyone seems to like him. Just putting a little~ thought~ into your head."

"Thanks," Finch said shyly, smiling softly at it. Maybe another hour at this pace and he could finish the wrappings. Then from there, the rest wouldn't be too hard.

Ed nodded. And then he felt something familiar. "Hm. I really hope I don't collapse," He muttered, pacing more to keep himself awake.

Finch looked up, setting the thing down. "Do-do I need to get anyone? Or catch you?"

"Uhhhh...." Ed shook his head, "No, lemme jus- siNKING SHIP-!!" 

As soon as he'd started yelling it, Max was under him, catching him as he fell over. Max sighed, helping the other over to the hammock, "Got him..." 

Jan appeared at the doorway, calm when she saw Max had their brother, and continuing to hold Buttons in a chokehold out of view. She moved away, casually continuing their conversation. 

Max sighed, "You worked another late night." Ed huffed something, trying to keep awake, but nope- he passed out. Max looked over, "Sorry about that."

"Ah, it's fine," Finch said a bit slowly. "That happen often?"

"Yeah. He's got narcolepsy with cataplexy- it's better on days where he actually gets sleep," Max said, moving over. "That's pretty," They hummed, looking at the menorah.

"Oh, thanks. My last one isn't so much, so Bu-Ben was helping me make a new one," Finch said, gesturing to the flickering fake candles on the plastic one. "I'm gonna make a little Star of David piece to put on top for the shamash to sit on once I'm done with this part."

"Nice," Max hummed. They looked around, pulling out a ninth metal cup, "Probably gonna need that one." They rolled their shoulders, tilting their head, "Also be careful that it's strong enough that you can drop it from an inch off the table and it won't break- that's usually a tell if it'll crack in the oven."

"Yeah, I figured I'd roll the wire into two triangles, put the clay on, then put them together and make sure they are really secure," Finch said, motioning with his hands.

Max gave a thumbs up, looking over at Ed. They sighed, playing with one of their rings, looking worried for their brother. He moved back to the hammock, bringing up a chair, carefully watching the other. "What was he doing before he passed out?"

"He was starting to do something with the clay, but he'd just started, so I'm not sure what," Finch said as he started working again.

"Alright, gonna need that to trigger his memory again so he doesn't pass out again," Max sighed.

"How's that work?" Finch asked curiously.

"So, from what the doctors say," Max hummed, trying to think, "Basically the cataplexy means he gets paralyzed. The narcolepsy actually makes him pass out, which becomes a lot easier when his muscle tension is basically zero. It's also 'cause he doesn't release wake-up chemicals, as the Doc called them. So when he's slept like shit, you can imagine how much easier that is. Usually it doesn't last very long- but it's disorienting, so it takes a while for him to remember what he was doing. The faster he remembers, the faster he can wake up." Max smiled a bit, happy they'd remembered all of that, and looked up. "I may or may not be interested in the medical field," They admitted.

"Oh... Huh. That's pretty cool," Finch said. "The medical field interest, not the... yeah." Stop talking now.

Max laughed a little, "No, it is all cool. It's just kinda shitty, too." 

Max pat Ed's forehead, and he shot up, blinking rapidly, "FUCK!" 

Max chuckled, "What were you sculpting, bro?" 

"A-a-auh...." He looked over, squinting at the clay, trying not to collapse again, "Uhm... Uh..." 

"Easy, focus. Kinda looks like a flower?" Max said, glancing over. 

"Oh. A rose. I was-" His face heated up, "-doING A THING FOR A FRIEND." He took a breath, because fuck he didn't want to pass out again.

Finch kinda watched as he worked, not wanting to disrupt or somehow make it worse.

Max gently pat Ed's head, "Let's bring it up to your room, yeah?" 

Ed sighed, waving Max off. He got up, moving over to the table (only slightly woozy). He waved to Finch awkwardly, then moved with Max out of the room. 

It was another half-hour before Buttons moved into the garage, "I'm freeeee~!"

Finch waved to them, going back to work. By the time Buttons came in, he was finishing the last one. "Jeez, she stole you for a while," he teased. "What were ya talkin' about?"

"Sibling stuff," Buttons murmured, blushing a little. "Wow, that looks nice~."

"As an only child, I have no idea what that means," Finch giggled, twirling the menorah in his hand. "Yeah, it's not bad, huh?" He beamed, setting it down carefully as he grabbed the wire again, cutting pieces out and forming them into the shape he wanted above the top to make sure the sizing was okay. Content, he took them back, forming them into two triangles before grabbing a piece of clay and rolling it.

Buttons watched with interest, recognizing the shape. "We could probably pop it in the oven and head up, Max doesn't know the definition of sleep. Ironically," He chuckled.

"Yeah, all I gotta do is make the Star and form it, and the cups, onto it and make sure they are all secure, make the bottom, unless you wanna do that. Just take a cup or a ball of some sort and form it around it, then cut it to be even," Finch said, focused as he stuck one of the wire pieces through it. "We could probably finish the whole thing within another hour, at most."

Buttons nodded, moving to help how Finch directed him.

Once they had put the final touches together and Finch had made sure everything was secure and wouldn't easily break off, he looked up at Buttons proudly. "I think it's done!" His eyes were shining in a way they usually didn't.

Buttons smiled happily at the shine, going, "Alright, let's put 'er in~!" Soon enough, they had the manorah in the oven, and Buttons was leading Finch upstairs again after Max swore to bring the item out of the oven when the timer went off.

Finch flopped onto the bed, sprawled across it, his eyes closed but a small smile on his face.

"Incoming," Buttons laughed, flopping next to Finch and nuzzling close. "Day 1. Status: Alive. Mostly."

"Day 1, didn't massively embarrass myself in front of your family. I hope," Finch giggled, wrapping around him like a koala.

"Nope," Buttons giggled, snuggling closer happily. "Are we showering or just sleeping?"

"I'm guessing we can't shower together without raising some eyebrows," Finch grinned, opening his eyes to look at him softly.

"I mean, we can, we just can't make noise," Buttons snorted softly. He curled into the bed and Finch more.

"Hm, tempting~" Finch grinned, not having much intention of leaving Buttons' arms at the moment. After a moment, he said quietly. "I want to make a quick animation for your brother, he seems to really like Spiderman, so I wanna do like... a shot of Spidey swinging into the frame and pulling off his mask and it's Junior. You think he'd like that?"

"I think he'd scream out of pure joy," Buttons chuckled. 

 He thought to himself, his ears going red again.

"Would you absolutely hate me if I started storyboarding it now?" Finch grinned. "I'll stay here and let you cuddle me if it helps~"

"As long as I get to cuddle you, I don't care," Buttons hummed happily.

Finch kissed him quickly before hopping down to grab his laptop and tablet, setting it up as he got back and settled against the pillows. He closed the latke recipe that was open when he opened his laptop; he'd considered trying to make them, but after the failed challah, decided not to. He woke up the tablet by wiggling the pen across it, opening Flash.

Buttons didn't notice (mostly cuz he didn't understand). "Hey, if you're interested in making any other stuff, we got plenty," Buttons giggled, cuddling up to Finch's back. He kept his arms around the other's waist, letting him work.

Finch shrugged, "I wouldn't want to make another mess. I tried to recreate my mom's challah- its a type a bread- and it turned out pretty horribly. I burned the hell outta it but somehow the inside was still raw. Guess I'm not a baker," he joked as he started sketching.

"Hmm~... If you want, we can try to make it tomorrow. We really don't celebrate a lot," Buttons admitted with a bit of a chuckled. "Our celebrating is chilling without school."

Finch was quiet for a moment, it seemed that maybe he didn't hear him? "I'd like that," he said after a moment, glancing at Buttons. "We could make latkes and doughnuts," he smiled softly. "And maybe retry the challah, possibly with some help."

"What's a latke?" Buttons asked curiously, nuzzling into Finch's neck and watching the other.

"Basically like a fried potato pancake," Finch explained. "Latkes and doughnuts are traditional, cause the whole oil thing, and you fry them in oil, ya know. They were my favorite part, but I haven't had them in years."

"Well... We got a frier..." Buttons looked extremely interested. "We can try it~!"

Finch butted his head lightly against Buttons'. He was so in love with this boy, and so so grateful for him and his family taking him in and letting him celebrate his own holiday.

Buttons laughed a little, placing kisses on Finch's cheek and neck happily. "I love you so much~," He hummed.

"I love 

 so much," Finch countered. "And... thanks. Seriously. I would be moping in my bed all alone right now had you not brought me in."

Buttons hummed again, "I couldn't let my boyfriend just be mopin'...." He smiled a little, "Plus, I get to cuddle you in my bed~." His voice dropped a little, "Get to be with you~ In my bed~." He was just teasing now, kissing Finch's neck again and letting the kiss linger.

"Oh, naughty naughty brat boy," Finch teased, trying to stay on focus with the sketching, as tempting as Buttons was.

"Hehe~," Buttons giggled, lightly nomming on Finch's neck. He settled down, though, wanting the other to focus, and hummed softly, just keeping close.

Finch rolled his eyes with a smile, leaning a little more against him. "By the time I finish the storyboarding, most of your family will probably be asleep," Finch said, just kinda throwing that out there.

"Not me~," Buttons smirked, "And my room is next to Ed's and Max's... Ed is a deep sleeper, and Max sleeps with music..." Just to say that. Y'know.

"Hm. Interesting." Finch said oh so casually, just sketching. No naughtiness happening here, so innocent~

Buttons hummed in response, teasingly nomming on Finch's neck again, and just resting there.

Finch laughed softly, resting his head against Buttons'. "Does your mama know you are trying to be naughty with your boyfriend under her roof~?" he teased.

"Considering I have five siblings, I don't think she can scold me," Buttons smirked.

"You know what... fair enough," Finch snickered. His hand moved fast, and the general motion of a figure swinging into the shot was clear.

Buttons got a little distracted, watching Finch draw quietly, just looking amazed. He relaxed against the other, almost hypnotized by Finch's movements.

By the time he was done, an hour and a half had passed. "How's that?" Finch asked, playing the simple animation back on a loop for him.

"Looks badass," Buttons hummed, eyes wide. "June's really gonna love it."

Finch grinned, saving it before closing his laptop and setting it on the ground beside him. He hummed, coming back up to kiss Buttons softly. "What now?" he asked teasingly.

Buttons felt a shiver move through him, glancing to make sure the laptop wasn't in the way. He shrugged, a bit mischievously, "I may or may not have supplies for some fun, if you're interested...~"

"Oh? What kind of fun?" Finch grinned teasingly.

Buttons hummed, curious, and he moved to kiss Finch gently, hugging the other a little closer, "Pretty sure you're aware of the kind of fun." He smirked a little, kissing the other again.

"I'm a good little Jewish boy, a man of God, I have no idea what you're talking about," Finch teased.

"Pfft," Buttons snickered, his voice dropping lower. "When we got together it's 'cause you were getting off on me in the shower~." He moved to kiss Finch's neck, lightly nipping on the skin.

"W-well, I'm also half Spanish, must be where my lack of shame comes from," he joked. Certainly untrue, told by the blush on his face.

Buttons snickered, "You wanna test that?" He shifted, nuzzling a little lower, scraping his teeth against what he knew was sensitive skin.

Finch made a small whine, leaning his head away a little to give him more room.

Buttons hummed, and... Gosh, he was in a playful mood. He blew a raspberry against the skin, giggling as he picked up Finch and turned, laying the other against the bed with quiet laughter.

"You dork," Finch giggled, holding onto Buttons' waist.

Buttons was beaming, snuggling closer, "Yep." He moved up to kiss Finch happily, "One happy dork that's happily in love." He moved his hands to either side of Finch's head, palms on the bed, "Also one happy dork that has his boyfriend pinned to a bed~."

"What's that make me, huh? Just a boyfriend pinned to a bed?" Finch winked, a grin on his face, looking just as taken with him.

"How about a cute, adorable, artistic and amazingly talented boyfriend that's pinned to a bed?" Buttons hummed.

"Unrealistic," Finch deadpanned, snorting softly.

"Very realistic," Buttons said with a smile, kissing Finch again. "I love you~."

"I love 

," Finch grinned happily, kissing him back sweetly.

"I love 

 Buttons giggled, kissing his nose. "I love you so so so so much~," Buttons hummed, shifting a bit to straddle the other.

"Stop takin' the words outta my mouth," Finch teased, pulling Buttons down to kiss him again. "It's rude~"

"It's not rude, it's mind-reading," Buttons giggled, leaning into the kiss, feeling so happy, his heart so full of love he was gonna explode.

"Well, ain't it lucky I love you so much~" Finch could say it all night, and it still wouldn't seem like enough.

Buttons gently pressed himself down against the other, his kisses lowering again to Finch's neck, nipping and nuzzling close, "And I love you tons~."

"I could say it a million times and it wouldn't be enough times to tell you how much I love you," Finch said, holding onto him, nuzzling his face against his hair.

"I could scream it to the world but I wouldn't be happy until every star heard me say I love you~," Buttons giggled.

"That's gay, Benny," Finch teased.

"We're gay, Patty," Buttons teased back, moving up to kiss Finch's lips. "Like, real gay."

"Thank god," Finch sighed. "I don't know what I'd do if we were straight. Die, probably."

"Probably," Buttons giggled, nuzzling closer. He was really teetering on the edge of being horny and just flopping on the other in cuddles. So he did just lay on the other in cuddles. For now~!

Finch squeezed his arms around him, kissing his forehead. "God, imagine telling that scared little boy running away from home that this is where he'd end up..." he said softly. "Holding the cutest boy in the world, so happy and full of love~"

Buttons squeaked like a squeak toy, giggling as he nuzzled closer. "Sometimes the bravest people get the nicest things~," He praised.

Finch wondered how he'd react if he knew exactly what he'd been through, and was almost tempted to tell him. He didn't want to ruin the moment though, and decided against it. "Yeah... I guess I'm just a lucky guy," he murmured, leaning forward to kiss Buttons softly.

Buttons noticed the look. "Hey, you wanna hear a secret?" He said softly.

"Sure, what is it?" Finch asked curiously.

"I lived in Cali, for like, a really long time~," Buttons giggled, mimicking a Cali girl's accent. He shifted, going to normal, "A fire ate our house. It was just me and Ed and Jan. We were homeless for a bit, then we inherited this place... Still poor, but not homeless." He smiled softly, "I barely remember it, but my family calls it the Dark Ages of our history."

"Damn, must've been scary... At least I didn't have to worry 'bout anyone but myself," Finch said, implying that he too had been homeless.

Buttons hugged Finch closer, "I'm just... Trying to say I know some of it. I clearly don't know everything and you don't gotta tell me everything. I love you, okay?"

"Yeah..." Finch pressed his forehead softly to Buttons. He sighed softly, working his hand into Buttons' hair. "And it's not that I don't wanna tell you, I just... it's not the funnest story, ya know? Don't wanna bring the mood down."

"Up to you. I think the mood right now is cuddles and love," Buttons hummed, relaxed on top of the other. He relaxed with the pets, keeping close.

"I will one day, alright?" Finch promised, kissing him softly.

"Alright," Buttons hummed, leaning into the kiss. He nuzzled close, wanting to comfort the other.

Finch closed his eyes with a soft sigh, happy to just be here with him. "You're warm," he mumbled.

"You're cozy," Buttons murmured, relaxing. "Get to cuddle a cute pretty boy in my bed," He hummed happily, eyes closing.

"You're the cute pretty boy," Finch murmured, snuggling him closer.

"No you are," Buttons hummed, kissing Finch's cheek.

"You are, no take backs," Finch giggled softly. He was already starting to doze off.

"Okay, but you are too," Buttons said, his words barely above a whisper. "G'night, babe..."

"G'nigh," Finch mumbled back, falling asleep in the warm coziness of his boyfriend.

-

Buttons woke up around 9:30, trying to ignore the sun in his eyes. He shifted very slightly, resting in the crook of Finch's neck, relaxed.

"Mornin'," Finch mumbled, having been stirring from sleep for the last few minutes.

Buttons just hummed in response, slowly curling his arms around Finch more. He realized why he'd felt so sluggish for the past few mornings- Finch wasn't there. He cuddled more into the other, happy that he was with Finch now.

Finch pressed a soft, sleepy kiss to his forehead. He had an idea of a cute animation bit of this- ohhh he had ideas for a few cute animations and he'd put so many hearts people would choke on it.

 Buttons smiled, blushing a little. He moved to kiss Finch's lips sleepily, imagining waking up like this every morning and just melting from that.

"What a lovely wake up call~" Finch teased, his voice a little rough from sleep, his hair sticking up in every direction messily.

Buttons hummed softly, "Mhm." He kissed Finch's cheek, moving off of/away from the other and sitting up, stretching and cracking his joints.

Finch tried to pat his bedhead down as he sat up, yawning. Uh oh, how'd he get here? He was now wrapped against Buttons' waist, his chin resting on his shoulder. Mmm, he didn't mind.

"Hum~?" Buttons moved an arm around Finch's shoulders, cuddling the other closer, "Why, hello." He gently kissed Finch's forehead, relaxed.

"Hi~" Finch smiled sleepily, blushing a little because he was just... very happy, very warm, very gay.

Buttons saw the blush, shifting to kiss Finch's lips happily. Very warm. Very gay. Much cuddle.

"Ugh, you're gonna kill me, I'm not emotionally ready for you to be kissing me so sweetly," Finch whined.

"Sh, let me revel in my morning breath not killing you," Buttons teased, going to kiss Finch again, tongue swiping against the other's lips.

"See, that's how much I love you, I don't even care that your breath stinks," Finch giggled.

Buttons laughed. "Well." He kissed Finch's nose, "Then let me go take care of that." He got up, getting a change of clothes, "Most of the rooms up here are bedrooms, first floor is anything you want it to be. Don't be afraid to come join me in the shower~." He winked, tiredly moving out of the room.

Finch sat there for about maybe half a second before getting his own change of clothes and followed him. I mean, what better way to wake up than a shower, and it would only be saving water!

Max was already downstairs, a bagel in the toaster. They looked over at Finch, rolling their eyes and shaking their head softly as they waited. Hm.

Hm. Finch just quietly leaned against the wall as he waited for Buttons, having a feeling Max knew what they'd been doing upstairs.

Yes. Max definitely knew. As they got their bagel, they looked at Finch with a raised eyebrow, "I'd appreciate it if you two left your orgasms away from where I shower." They snickered a bit, then paused- "Oh, the manorah. It's in the garage. Didn't crack at all, so it should be good for painting."

Finch flushed, giving him a small shamed salute, "Cool," he said in a small voice.

Max gave a thumbs up, taking a bite of the bagel- were those raisins? -and headed to the living room. 

Buttons hummed as he came downstairs, blinking when Max stopped him. He nodded, blushing a little, then moved over to Finch. "Well, we weren't quiet," He mumbled, a little embarrassed.

"I know, I thought we'd done at least a fairly good job," Finch blushed, putting his face in Buttons' neck. "Hopefully he's the only one who heard."

Buttons chuckled, keeping close, "Hopefully." He hummed, looking over, "What do you wanna eat~?" He was thinking about the different things they had, humming.

"Whatcha got?" Finch mumbled into his neck.

Buttons shifted, an arm around Finch's waist while the other opened the fridge, "Egg, bread, bacon... more bread in the form of bagel." He chuckled a bit.

"Bacon... Egg.. cheese... 

," Finch said slowly, rising from Buttons' chest dramatically slow.

Buttons snickered, kissing Finch's forehead again before going for the bagels, "Plain or cinnamon raisin?"

"Plain, please~" Finch said, leaning against the counter as he watched. It was cold... "Would you, 

, have hot chocolate we can make?"

Buttons let out a 

 hum, taking out two bagels. He took a breath to continue the hum as he put them into the toaster, going back and taking out the jug of milk. He finally broke the hum, "You want the weird powder stuff or actual chocolate syrup?"

"Hmmmmmm, weird powder stuff 

 chocolate syrup," Finch grinned, rubbing his gay little hands together.

Buttons gasped dramatically, "Oh, that's 

 He moved to get two mugs, pouring the milk into both. "Marshmallows or nah?" He put the milk back, going for the syrup and a packet of powder.

"What kind of man do you take me for, Benjamin. Of course marshmallows," Finch said dramatically

"I take you for a man who likes marshmallows, Patrick," Buttons answered, eyebrows raised as he moved to pour the cold milk from both mugs into a bigger cup, and put that in the microwave.

"Good," Finch grinned, draping himself over Button's shoulders, maybe needing to stand a little bit on his toes to do so.

Buttons crouched a little, giggling.

Finch stayed on him totally not dozing off again until the microwave went off. "Benny, the microwave went off," he said as if it weren't obvious, not moving a muscle.

"You koala," Buttons hummed happily, going to take out the milk. He poured it back into the mugs, putting the respective chocolates in the mugs and stirring. He went for the mallows, humming, "Careful~ It's hot~." He relaxed, happy with Finch.

Finch hummed happily, basking in the warmth of the mug, taking a small sip. "Ow." He blew on it a little and took another sip. Still hot.

"I said careful," Buttons giggled, kissing Finch's head. 

Buttons didn't notice how his mother was by the doorway, smiling softly and watching her son just being happy in love.

"But it's so good," Finch pouted, taking another sip and ignoring his burning taste buds, not noticing her either. He jumped a little bit as the toaster went off, but managed not to spill the hot chocolate. He pressed a kiss to Buttons' shoulder as he set the mug down to get them. Again, not caring about the hot.

"Babe!" Buttons squeaked, moving to grab Finch gently and pull him back. "Heat, love. 

"Hungry, babe. 

," Finch grinned. "Fire cannot kill a dragon~"

"You're a bird," Buttons snickered, carefully popping out the bagels onto a plate. "You want any butter or cream cheese?"

"Crem chez," Finch giggled, snuggling into his back. "And of course I'm a bird, thaz why dey calls me Finch~"

"I thouz dey callz ya Finch cuz you sing like a preddy birdie~," Buttons hummed, going to get the cream cheese and putting it carefully on the bagel. He perked up when his mom laughed softly, blushing. His mom hummed, going to make a mug of coffee.

Finch snorted at that, flushing a little when he realized she was there. "Good morning, ma'am," he said quietly, still a little shy around her.

The woman laughed a little, "Jess is fine, dear." 

Buttons handed Finch the bagel, kissing his forehead anyway. She seemed to soften at that, happy that her son was happy.

Finch nodded softly, taking the bagel happily, taking a bite.

She hummed, "I'm going out today with your father. Don't burn the house down." 

Jess moved to kiss Button's cheek, and he smiled a little, "Have fun." 

"Thanks," She hummed, getting the cup and moving off.

Finch waved, leaning back against Buttons as he ate his bagel. "We gonna have a cook day?" he asked.

"Yup," Buttons beamed. He put some cream cheese on his bagel, taking a bite and sipping happily from his mug. Hot chocolate and bagels.

Finch finished one half of the bagel when he remembered. "Oh, yeah!" He ran out to the garage with no further explanation. 

He picked up the menorah carefully, happily checking over it.

"Hum?" Buttons just let the other run off, continuing to eat his breakfast. He shifted to see what ingredients they had, a bit worried they might not have everything.

Finch was quite happy with it, and the dreidels had turned out pretty good as well. He left them there, already thinking of the colors he'd paint them. "They turned out great!" he said happily as he came back into the kitchen.

Buttons smiled, "That's good! So then maybe while things are cooking we can paint? Is there any baking involved?" He looked over, eyebrow raised.

"Latkes will be quick to make, I think it's literally just prep and mix the ingredients and then fry them. Donuts are a little longer to make the dough, but cook quickly once thats done. Overall, prolly would only take... two hours roughly? Well, actually less if we're workin' together and doing them at the same time." Finch explained, pulling up recipes on his phone. "Then we'd be done, and we can paint," he smiled happily.

"Alright... Frier." He reached down, pulling out the long rectangular frier. He set it on the counter, taking the basket out, and making sure it was clean before pouring in the oil. He hummed, plugging it in and covering it up so it would be ready to use later. "Alright, explain away~."

Finch nodded, reading over the instructions of both. "Yeah, we have to leave the dough out to rise for an hour, so it would be best to do that first."In a small bowl, combine the yeast, 1 tablespoon flour, 1 tablespoon sugar, and water. Mix well, cover, and allow to rest until the mixture becomes foamy," he read aloud. "In another large bowl, mix the remaining 3 cups of flour with the melted margarine, salt, remaining sugar, and the egg yolks."

Buttons was grabbing ingredients, putting them up, "Alright, uh... Do we need the same stuff for other things?"

"For the latkes, its shredded potatos, grated onion, eggs, flour, salt, and peanut oil," Finch read. "Oh, and jelly and powdered sugar for the donut filling and topping."

"Oh boy," Buttons laughed, looking around. "I'll do my best."

Finch grinned at him, "Do we need ta go to the store for anything?"

"Uhhhhh I don't 

 so...?" Buttons pulled out the potatoes and onions.

"Okay, cool," Finch beamed, rolling up his sleeves. He set the phone in between them on the counter, looking around. "Measuring cups..."

"Cabinet right of the oven," Buttons answered, bringing things over.

Finch went and grabbed the cups, getting a couple bowls down too. "Gotta melt the butter down," he said to Buttons. "A fourth of a cup." He started reading the directions again, following them as he measured out a small amount of flour and sugar, double checking this was right.  Yeah, the rest went in the other bowl.

Buttons went to cut the butter, putting it in a bowl and popping it in the microwave in intervals, not wanting it to explodé.

Finch stuck his tongue out a little in focus, making sure it was all measured and mixed right before he covered it to rest a little while he measured out the mixture for the larger bowl.

Buttons moved to bring the butter, helping measure and mix where he could. He was enjoying helping, following with a hum.

Finch smiled at him. This was nice, and quite peaceful. The house itself was quiet,  although he could hear some commotion that sounded like playing outside. He'd already managed to get flour on his shirt and a little on his face, but that was okay.

As they continued, Buttons noticed the flour on his love's face. He got a rag and licked it, and when Finch wasn't paying attention he moved to scrub the flour off before setting the rag down and continuing in what he was doing, humming softly.

"Gross, cooties," Finch teased jokingly, glancing at him as he whisked the mixture.

Buttons rolled his eyes, "Oh, yeah, 'course. You're infected now."

Finch giggled, huffing as he kept whisking. "You know, I just realized that this has to turn from a liquid to a solid."

"So how much mixing do we gotta go?" Buttons said with wide eyes.

Finch looked down at the bowl. "I realize now that usually a mixer would be used for this. Do you have one by any chance?"

"Uhhhhhhhhhh....." Buttons moved around, trying to find it, and he eventually did... Oh jeez. He started climbing the counter, standing on top as he got it, putting it on to the sink. He moved down carefully, but of course he slipped. He yelped, crashing to the floor, thankfully only falling on his side. "Ow..." He mumbled.

Finch yelped, quickly setting the bowl on the counter and kneeling beside him. "Are you okay??" he asked worriedly, carefully helping him sit up.

"Yeah, all good," He managed, laughing a little in disbelief. "Usually I don't fall over," He managed, rubbing his arm. "Oof..." He looked at Finch, "I'm good."

"Are you sure?" Finch asked, clearly disbelieving that he was really all okay.

"Yeah, yeah... Hold on." He gently nudged Finch away, stretching out his arm and rolling it around, then bending his joints, making sure his shoulder and elbow were okay. He nodded, "Yeah, all good, just sore." He chuckled, "Body fat really out here saving my bones." He gently moved closer to Finch again, "I'm good."

"Should I kiss it better?" Finch said a little cheekily after making sure he really was okay.

Buttons blinked. He held out his arm, "My bownes weally wurt, dey's needin' twu wuv's kiss."

Finch snorted, taking his wrist tenderly and pressing small kisses up his forearm before looking at him, still holding his wrist loosely. "Anywhere else?" he said with a cheeky grin that had his mother seen, would think he looked just like his father.

"How about here?" Buttons said softly, pointing at his lips.

"Oh, of course, it's dangerous to let those go unkissed~" Finch teased as he pulled Buttons forward a little while leaning in himself, kissing him tenderly.

Buttons hummed happily in the kiss, moving his arms around Finch's shoulders and pulling the other in for a bit of a longer kiss.

Finch hummed, leaning in a little more into him, deepening it a little. 

Junior just wanted a snack. Just a snack, not a scar for life. He ran into the kitchen, not expecting, of course, to see his older brother making out on the floor with his boyfriend. "Eeeewww, gross!" he shouted, covering his eyes maybe peeking. 

Amy snorted behind him, "Do I ever want to know how you two ended up there?" 

Finch had pulled away from him, flushing a little as he stood up quickly and helped Buttons up, "He, uh, he fell, I was helping him up." 

"I've never helped anyone up like that before," Amy chuckled, going to the fridge with raised eyebrows. 

"Do you guys always kiss?" Junior asked, wrinkling his nose.

Buttons 

 blushing bright red and still leaning into Finch. He managed to stand with the other, letting go carefully, and glaring a bit at Amy. He looked back at Junior, "Yeah. People kiss people that they love." He was calming down, trying to ignore his burning blush.

"Someone at my school got in trouble cause he was kissing a girl," Junior said, taking the applesauce Amy handed to him. 

You could almost see the struggle on Finch's face not to say "cause being straight is illegal" as a joke. Amy looked like she might be holding back a retort of her own.

"Well, that's not fair," Buttons answered, "Unless the guy or the girl were already with someone. Or they were supposed to be in class." He smiled a bit.

"He was playing a joke on her I think..." June looked confused for a second as he thought of something. "Wait, but I love Mom and Dad but I don't kiss them?"

"Well, you kiss their cheeks- but you save lip kisses for people you're thinking about marrying-" oh. "-I MEAN. AS IN. SPENDING YOUR LIFE WITH THEM- I MEAN... Yeah I'm not making this any better," He muttered, head down in defeat.

"Oooohhh, okay!" Junior seemed content with that. "I'm gonna play Sims now." He took his snack and walked out.

"Well, you two seem busy enough in here," Amy said, a knowing look on her face as she too walked out. 

Finch looked back at Buttons with raised eyebrows. "What was that you were saying?" he teased, leaning into him. "What, you havin' some ideas in that brain a your's?"

Buttons nodded, huffing at Amy, and then turning bright red. "I been having ideas, Finch. Don't get too excited about them, they ain't for a long while," He huffed, gently nudging the other, seriously trying to calm down his blush. He whined, putting his face in his hands. Stupid Jan.

Finch giggled, nudging one of Buttons' hands away with his nose to kiss his cheek. Weirdly enough, he wasn't bothered by the idea. The idea of spending the rest of his life like this... it was tempting, really.

Buttons blinked, shifting to kiss Finch gently. "One day," He murmured.

"I wouldn't mind that," Finch murmured softly back, staying where he was for a moment before kissing his cheek once more before going back to start the mixer up.

Buttons' eyes lit up at that, and smiled a bit as Finch moved off. He was just standing there stunned, watching the other happily. "Have I told you how much I love you?" He hummed, head tilting to the side.

"I believe you might have mentioned it once or twice," Finch giggled, glancing back at him. "I might need help figuring out how to use this, by the way."

"Oh fuck-" Buttons laughed, going over to set it up.

Finch helped the best he could, and after a... couple minutes, it was running smoothly and mixing the batter. And soon it was turning into a dough. "Had I done that by hand, I would have been absolutely jacked by the end," he giggled.

"Yeah, you could be using your hand for something else," He smirked.

"Gross, gutter-brain," Finch snickered, pushing him lightly. When the mixture was looking doughy, he got the dough off the whisk and covered it with a towel, setting it to the side to prove. "Well, that's there for about two hours, so wanna make the latkes?"

"Sure~," Buttons hummed, going to set up the next stuff.

"Potatos, eggs, flour, salt, mix em together and thats it, ya just just fry em after that."

"Alright," Buttons said, starting to pour things in.

Finch leaned against him, helping where he could but maybe just kinda cuddling him.

Buttons enjoyed the cuddles, blinking as he uncovered the frier. He put things in the basket, moving it into the frier and covering it again. "How long do we wait?"

"Doesn't say... Prolly gotta watch 'em, just said turn 'em when they're golden brown," Finch said.

"Alright... I guess," Buttons murmured. He took the basket out and turned things over before putting it back.

Finch nuzzled into him. watching and directing him to the shaping of them, happy and warm.

Buttons followed, humming along. By the end, they had a nice plate of them. "What should I do with these?" He hummed.

"Let 'em cool, nom nom yam-aka," Finch giggled.

He rolled his eyes, setting them in the microwave. "Y'think the dough's done? How long did that take?"

"Like... 30 minutes. So we got a while longer," Finch murmured, still nuzzling him.

Buttons turned, wrapping his arms around Finch and nuzzling him closer, humming softly.

"Wanna paints the dreidels?" Finch suggested.

"Alrighty," He murmured, kissing Finch's forehead, moving with the other but still keeping an arm around his waist.

Finch led him along to the garage. He took the slightly wonky one, hiding it in his hand and pushing the other (slightly better) one to Buttons. "See, they turned out great!" (Not pointing out that he'd given Buttons the one that he'd made, of course.)

"Finch," Buttons said, deadpan, "I'm not dumb. The one I made had an indent right there."

Finch clicked his tongue, putting Buttons' back on the table. "Yours is still good too," he said with a smile.

Buttons looked at his, beaming, "Fuck, it came out better than I thought it would." He went to try to spin it, and it was a little sloppy, but it worked!!

Finch beamed, going to find the paints. He did after a few moments, bringing the bin over and setting it down on the table between them.

"Alright, you gotta teach me what to paint," Buttons giggled.

"I can shows ya, but I'm gonna paint mine first~" Finch grabbed the blue, getting one of the brushes and starting to paint one side of it. "Once it dries, we can paint the symbols and the top on."

"Alright." Buttons copied, painting his as well.

Once he'd painted the sides, he watched Buttons, blowing on it to dry faster.

Buttons waved his gently in the air to dry it off, humming softly. He then went and painted a stripe of blue on Finch's cheek.

Finch squinted, slowly leaned in, took Buttons face... and he kissed him sweetly. Then while he was distracted, did a quick two dots and a curve to paint a smiley face on his cheek.

Buttons blinked, and then melted into the kiss a bit. He giggled, looking over in a mirror at the smiley. "Y'know what, that's fair," He laughed.

Finch laughed softly, grabbing his chin to turn his head a little, painting a little heart on his other cheek.

Buttons hummed, letting Finch do as he pleased. He looked in the mirror again, gasping. "Oh no. My reputation!!"

"Oh, and what reputation is that, hah?" Finch asked, kissing his lips softly since his cheeks now had paint on them.

"Me being a big tough button," Buttons pouted.

"Aw, poor babe," Finch giggled. "Everyone already knows you're a big softie~" He poked his cheek where it wasn't painted.

Buttons puffed out his cheeks, then giggled and went to normal, kissing Finch, "Whoopsies~."

Finch giggled, then turned his head back to the dreidel in his hand. He tested it, and the paint was dried. So he set it down to pull up the symbols on his phone, figuring he would go ahead and explain the game while they was painting, but he grabbed the silver paint first.

Buttons listened to the explanation, following along and asking questions where he was confused. He looked excited to be playing the new game, almost buzzing in place.

"Ya got the coins, or sometimes, like my family did it, we'd use some sorta candy like M&Ms or somethin', and ya give everyone an equal amount, we usually agreed on seven each," Finch explained as he found smaller brushes for them, handing one to Buttons. "This one," he gestured to the symbol on the phone as he started carefully painting it on one of the sides, "Is Nun. Easy 'nough to remember, nun does nothin', if ya roll it, you just pass to the next player."

Buttons quickly realized they were going to have to expose Finch to the Candy Shelf. He tried to hide the slight panic as he focused.

"Gimmel," Finch explained, too focused to notice, "means ya 'get'. Land on this and you take the whole middle pot, and everyone else has ta put two coins in to make a new pot."

Buttons nodded again, humming.

"Hey is half, so ya take half the pot." Finch paused to finish the symbol before continuing. "And Shin is share, so you'd put two coins in the pot."

"Alright, that all makes sense," Buttons hummed, trying to think. "Are you allergic to anything?"

"Nope," Finch said as he finished painting the top of the dreidel silver before blowing it.

"Phew," Buttons murmured, following all the symbols as he painted them on. "I may or may not have a sacred thing to show you in the kitchen."

Finch looked up at that, "And what's that?"

"It may or may not include something to play this game with," Buttons said casually, blowing on his dreidel to dry it off.

Finch was intrigued. He touched the paint, dry. He spun it, and it twirled for a good moment before it landed. "Gimmel, I take the pot~"

"If you eat all the candy, I think my family will throw me out of the house," Buttons giggled, kissing Finch's nose before motioning for the other to follow him back to the kitchen. He'd completely forgotten about the paint on his face.

Finch snickered, following him. "That's alright, I already took my prize this mornin'," he teased.

Buttons gasped, looking offended, "But don't you want it every morning??"

"Every mornin' sounds nice~" Finch grinned.

Buttons smiled, moving to kiss Finch gently before going to the cabinet. With a dramatic, shakey hand, he opened it and pointed to the top shelf. ... That's a lot of candy. Who needs that many different types of M&Ms???

“Oh my god,” Finch snickered. “It’s a whole treasure trove! Ya got that marked on a map somewhere?”

"Come over for Easter," Buttons answered ominously.

"What's Easter?" Finch joked, putting an arm around him. "I bet it's insane with all a that chocolate."

"Oh gosh it's fun," Buttons giggled.

"I just know that when the egg bunnies come out, means chocolate's on sale soon," Finch snickered.

"No, it means you get to run around collecting eggs and get 

 chocolate," Buttons clarified.

"I'm a Jew, this holiday isn't for me, therefore I gotta pay ta get in on it," Finch said, nudging him with a grin.

"Sh, I'll sneak you in," Buttons giggled, "Like sneaking people in the movie theater for a free movie."

Finch giggled, leaning into him. "Are there like... rules?" Cause like legitimately other than the commercialized stuff he wasn't sure how it was celebrated.

"Nah, just don't steal the little kid’s candy," Buttons hummed.

"Huh. There's like.. no rituals or nothin'?" Finch asked a little confused. "Ya don't go ta church?"

"Finch, we're not 'go to church every Sunday' Christians, in case you hadn't noticed," Buttons smirked.

"Well yeah, but like most Jewish holidays you'd go ta temple at least once ta pray," Finch said.

Buttons shrugged a bit, "Well, we don't usually go."

"Huh... alright," Finch shrugged. He looked at the time, at the bowl. "We still got a while before that's done so... We could start paintin' the menorah," he suggested.

"Alrighty~," Buttons hummed, following Finch back to the garage.

Finch started working on painting, not realizing he'd started humming softly as he made sure to get in the indents of the swirls.

Buttons watched, cuddled into Finch's back, watching and listening in a soft amazement.

"

" His voice was soft and sweet, his lips barely moving, still looking unaware of what he was doing as his hands moved. "

"

Buttons was melting. Buttons was so in love 

 He snuggled closer, quietly listening, not wanting to break the spell.

"

" Finch had starting riffing Zendaya's lines, realizing what he was doing. He blinked, looking at Buttons shyly. "S-sorry," he said sheepishly, a bit of a blush on his face.

"Don't gotta apologize," Buttons murmured, "Like I said; your voice is beautiful." He was loving listening to the other, snuggled close.

Finch's blush only grew at that, and he was too shy to continue, squirming a little bit in a little bit of embarrassment as if this didn't happen all the time.

Buttons laughed softly, nuzzling into Finch's neck. "C'mon, little bird... You can keep singing~."

Finch squeaked at the nickname, totally red now. "Noooo, it's embarrassing...."

"No it's not~," Buttons cooed, kissing Finch's neck. "It's adorable is what it is, birdie~."

"Stooooopp," Finch whined, getting even more flustered.

"Ooooh," Buttons smirked, kissing again, "I don't wanna stop, little birdie~."

"Anyone who says you're innocent obviously has never been in my position," Finch muttered, trying to paint even with the rising heat.

Buttons snickered, "I'm just a guy who sews." He shifted to actually lick Finch's neck slightly before moving away teasingly, going over to another box on the shelf. He brought it out, setting it on the table, "Speaking of..." He opened it, starting to shuffle through the stuff, curious.

Finch shivered at that, squirming in his seat, glancing at him with a pout before he started painted again.

Buttons froze when he found something. He slowly pulled out a tiny dress, looking at it a bit fondly. "Hey, Finch... When we get our own place, can we get a dog? Maybe a cat, too..." He smiled softly. It was definitely a dog dress.

"I never had a dog before, you'd hafta help me figure out how ta take care of it. But I don't mind," Finch said, looking up.

Buttons looked excited for that, buzzing a bit. "Either we get a dog, or kids." He snickered a bit at that, eyebrow raised towards Finch.

"Why not both?" Finch grinned. "Prolly would hafta wait a while for that one though...." he said a little more seriously. "I wouldn't wanna fuck up a kid..." He looked away, going back to his painting.

"We wouldn't fuck up a kid," Buttons said seriously, pausing in his little search. He looked at Finch, slight concern in his eyes. "'Course we'd wait, there's some stuff I gotta do first." He hid a smirk as he looked down again, "Oh- found it." He pulled out a bracelet from when he dabbled in jewelry. It was a silver band that had beads that looked like they were made from string. He set it on the table, humming as he slid it over to Finch.

Finch glanced up at it, a smile playing at his lips, "What's this?"

"A bracelet," Buttons said matter-of-factly.

"Well, duh, but why're ya givin' it to me?" Finch asked curiously.

"'Cause I want you to wear it," Buttons said softly.

Finch rolled his eyes a little, but slid it onto his wrist. "Happy, you dork?"

"Extremely," Buttons whispered, looking at Finch with a new smile, then covered up the box again and setting it away. He moved over, wrapping his arms around Finch's waist and and cuddling into his back, looking like a Soft Button™.

Finch sighed softly, looking back at him as he leaned back into him. He pressed a soft kiss to his lips, content and happy.

Buttons leaned into the kiss with a soft smile, nuzzling close. He looked over to the Menorah, "It's beautiful."

"Yeah?" Finch asked, looking over at it. "I'll paint the bottom and the Star gold, think it'll go pretty good with the blue and silver. I mean, ya know, Hanukkah colors," he smiled.

"It'll be amazing." He gently kissed Finch's cheek, "I'm gonna go try to bring down the candy and not fall over." He walked back into the house, looking relaxed. 

Jan walked in through the back door a few minutes later, "Oh, hey! Wow, that looks nice." She looked over, whistling. Her eyes went to the bracelet as she watched him paint, and breathed out a soft, "Oh wow... He gave you it..."

Finch looked up, following her gaze to the bracelet. "Yeah, he just slid it over, wouldn't tell me why."

Jan hummed at that, leaning over the table again, "When he was first getting into crafts, he made his own string wefts. He'd buy the little folded things, and wind them into a tight ball. He got the idea to make them into beads, even if it was a big waste of string. He was so proud of the bracelet 'cause it'd taken so long to make each bead." Her gaze fell, "He was in either elementary or middle school, on the edge there. He brought it to school, and someone stole it. Basically, that was his first fist fight. He was so ashamed when Mom came to get him out of detention, but he also realized that he needed to hide precious things. He started keeping a lot of secrets after that. We didn't realize he had a box of sewing things until he went to college." She added the last part with a chuckle, rubbing her legs together. "He hid it, and he swore that he'd never let it go and only let someone he truly loved even see it again. He of course showed us before he hid it away... I've seen him eye the box when he was in other relationships, but he never took the bracelet out for them."

Finch listened in interest, his mouth falling open a little at the last part. He blinked, looking down at the bracelet he wore, fiddling with the beads that baby Buttons had so painstakingly crafted.

Jan chuckled softly, watching. "Yeah... I never expected him to touch the thing, honestly... I thought he forgot about it." She chuckled softly, shifting and standing up again. "Anyways, I'll leave you to painting," She hummed softly, going inside.

Finch smiled softly, reaching his hand up and kissing the bracelet softly before he went back to painting. Within a few more minutes, he'd finished, setting it down and looking over it with a happy grin.

Buttons came back in, humming, the smiley face washed off but the heart still there. He moved over, gasping softly and putting an arm around Finch's waist. "When it dries, we'll light it. Where do you think we should put it?" He looked excited, kissing Finch's cheek before going to find some candles.

"Wherever your mom says is okay. Usually by a window, though," Finch beamed.

"Alright, I know just the spot then," Buttons giggled. He moved to put the metal cups into the slots, and then put the candles into those, not lighting them but letting them sit there. He moved to pick it up like it was glass, being extremely careful with it (and not touching the paint too much) as he brought it into the house. There was a nice high table next to a window with two shelves under it that had books, and there was a white tablecloth over it already. He carefully set it down, smiling a bit and showing Finch.

Finch smiled, his eyes soft as he looked at it. It was almost bittersweet to see something that reminded him so strongly of home. "We'll hafta light six of 'em now, then the seventh when it gets dark."

"Alright... Let's wait until the paint fully dries, I don't wanna mess it up." Buttons moved to Finch's side again, an arm around his love's waist as he kissed Finch's temple happily.

Finch turned, nuzzling into his neck. "I love you," he murmured.

"I love you, too," Buttons murmured just as softly, cuddling Finch close, happy with the other.

"Jan told me what this bracelet is, by the way," he said softly, kissing his neck just as lightly.

Buttons shifted, blushing a little, going, "Ah, well that takes away the mystery..." His voice was soft, and he shifted to nuzzle closer gently.

"Wish I had somethin' like that I could give you," Finch sighed, his grip squishing a little tighter on his boyfriend, his best friend, his lover. He wanted something he could give to him.

"You being here is more than enough, Patrick," Buttons said softly, shifting to look at the other, "You just letting me love you, loving me, that's more than I could ever ask for."

Finch couldn't bring himself to pretend he wasn't tearing up at that. He brought one of his hands to Buttons' cheek, holding him softly. "I used ta think I wouldn't find no one," he admitted softly. "That maybe I wasn't meant to have someone like that loving me... You sure proved me wrong."

Buttons smiled a little at that, moving to kiss Finch gently, "Glad I did." He kissed Finch again, holding the other closer, pressing their foreheads together lovingly.

Finch sat happily in his embrace, content to stay there like that forever.

"So, should we check on the dough, or just cuddle on the couch?" Buttons hummed, content in Finch's arms.

"Hmmmm, my heart says cuddle but my mind says check on the dough, otherwise we'll forget about it entirely," Finch murmured.

"Hmmmm what a dilemma," Buttons hummed, gently shifting to kiss Finch lightly. "Well, I feel like there'll be plenty of time for us to cuddle," He said softly, nuzzling against the other. He still couldn't bring himself to move, though.

"Mhm..." Finch hummed back, not moving a muscle and not really intending to.

"Oh jeez, we're gonna stay like this forever, huh?" Buttons mumbled tiredly, feeling warm and cozy even though they were standing. He took a few shuffled steps towards the couch, sitting and pulling Finch to sit on top of him, laying down and pulling Finch close.

"Oh no," Finch murmured, nuzzling into his neck happily.

"A tragedy," Buttons breathed softly, kissing Finch's forehead, "Stuck forever cuddling the love of my life."

"Mmm, doesn't sound too bad, when ya put it like that," Finch said softly, ignoring the way his heart skipped a beat when he called him the love of his life.

"No, it doesn't," Buttons murmured, nuzzling closer and his eyes closing.

Finch hummed happily, burrowing into the crook of love's neck and dozing off quickly. 

-

Amy came downstairs a little bit later to see them curled up. She shook her head softly, chuckling to herself as she took pictures for blackmail (or really cause she knew her mom would think they were cute) went into the kitchen, finding the mess they'd left and a proved dough ready to bake. Jesus, they'd even left the fryer on. She went over, inspecting the scene, and when she found the latkes in the microwave, she figured pretty easily they'd been making donuts. She rolled up her sleeves, going to work, I mean, she wasn't doing anything else anyways. 

Junior came in a little bit later, curious, and started helping, both being quiet as to not wake the sleeping two. When they were done, Amy covered the donuts in a cling film, presented nicely on a plate, before they cleaned up and went back to their rooms.

Buttons had woken up first, but was starting lovingly at Finch. He moved his hand to rub the other's back gently, just lost in thought about how much he loved the other. Having Finch come over had really slammed things into perspective, and he decided right there that he could genuinely spend the rest of his life with this man.

Finch hummed sorta how a cat does when you suddenly touch it while it's dozing, stirring at the movement. He sighed, cuddling deeper into him.

Buttons bit back a laugh, continuing to rub Finch's back softly. He was just laying there, soaking in the affection, loving having the other there with him.

"I wuv you~" Finch murmured happily into his neck, pressing a soft kiss there.

Buttons giggled softly, "I wuv you too~." He was just relaxed and happy, curling Finch a little closer. "I think we passed out," He said quietly, looking around tiredly.

"What time is it?" he asked. "Ah, the dough mighta been sittin' too long..."

"Y'wanna go check on it?" He hummed, gently nudging Finch to sit up.

Finch grumbled at the nudge, but got off of him. He went to the kitche- What. He blinked. Their mess was gone, and there was. The donuts??? All nicely arranged on a plate????? "Wh- did I go crazy or somethin', we didn't finish them, did we?"  he said, bewildered and not considering there were other people in the house.

Buttons got up, going over. "The Fae must'a come," He breathed, "Or my siblings." He snickered a bit, going over, kind of wanting one, but looking at Finch.

"Well....." Finch scooted over to the plate, sneaking one of the donut balls and biting into it. He squeaked as jelly almost dropped down his chin.

Buttons tried very hard. He was really trying. But he moved forwards, licking up Finch's chin. "Oh, that's good," He hummed, going to get a donut ball for himself and popping it into his mouth.

Finch giggled. "I think we did good~ Well, us and whoever finished 'em."

Buttons nodded happily, still chewing since he had literally shoved the whole thing in his mouth.

Finch popped the rest of his in his mouth, humming. He opened the microwave, getting one of the latkes to taste test it too. He nodded in approval with a grin, offering to Buttons.

Buttons made an 'ooo' sound, taking one of the latkes and eating it. "Wow, that's good," He said, doing a happy wiggle.

"Hey, and I bet the paint's dry, so we can light some of the candles now to get ready for when it's night," Finch said, nudging him.

Buttons perked up at that, looking around and grabbing a lighter. He handed it to Finch, nudging the other back, "C'mon, then~!"

Finch was excited, he hadn't been able to actually light a menorah in years. "Light the top candle, that's what we use to light the others."

Buttons blinked, and walked over with the other. He looked at the top candle, lighting it for Finch, looking excited.

Finch took the candle, carefully lighting six of them. "Usually, we'd light them one a night, but it's the seventh night, so when it gets dark we'll light the next one," he explained as he did, setting the candle back on the top. He stepped back and looked at it. Oh. There was a look in his eyes for a moment, of a deep sadness and longing, before he blinked and looked back at Buttons. "Pretty, ain't it?"

Buttons had seen it, and he carefully moved an arm around Finch, "Yeah, it is."

"Well, what trouble are we getting up to now in the meantime, hah?" Finch asked, poking his side.

Buttons looked over at a clock, shrugging, "Looks like it's only 3..." He looked at Finch, poking the other back.

"Hmmmmmmm....." Finch nuzzled back into him. "Then we got a while. Whatchu wanna do~?"

"I dunno, what do you wanna do~?" Buttons hummed, nuzzling back as he curled Finch closer, kissing the other's forehead happily.

Finch hummed. "Cuddle while I work on the animation?"

"Upstairs we go~," Buttons giggled, taking Finch's hand and moving back up to his room. He waited for Finch to settle down with the laptop and drawing tablet before going to settle behind the other again, cuddling into his back happily while scrolling through his phone.

Finch pressed a soft kiss to his forehead before settling down and starting to draw the base sketches.

Buttons was relaxed, just cuddling the other and looking through tumblr. He did make a post- "cuddling bf while he draws. never been more gay in my life."

Finch hummed softly, not thinking about it as he focused on the anatomy of the drawings.

Buttons snorted softly, going to reblog it and adding: 

Buttons smiled softly, kissing Finch's neck before going back to scrolling.

[rocker-by-heart]

I know I said I was gonna bounce until TROS,

but I just need to express my last minute theories(in case I’m actually right so can have proof and brag about it).

(i’m drafting this in google docs btw jus so u kno lol)

SO before we get in to anything, I should say that I have not read any leaks or things like that. I’ve only watched the things officially put out by Star Wars/Lucasfilm whatever. I also come from the Reylo/Bendemtion part of the fandom, so that’s the mindset I’m in. Now on with the theories:

Now originally I was of the opinion that Rey was nobody and I liked that and that was okay, and I didn’t want them to retcon it or anything, HOWEVER my mind has slightly changed. Kind of. Not really. Allow me to explain. 

The whole thing in TLJ is that we see that situation from Rey’s point of view. Rey believes that the people who left her on Jakku for drinking money and died were her parents. And they may very well be the people who raised her up until that point, ergo her parents, but they MIGHT not be her actual bio parents. And Kylo sees this in her mind and that’s why he thinks he knows the truth. Because essentially it IS the truth. And that is why, if Rey turns out to be SOMEONE in TROS, I don’t see it as retconning or anything like that. They will still honor what Rian did(and maybe planned) without undercutting it. Now don’t get me wrong, in no way do I think she is a Skywalker or a Solo, or even a Kenobi or a Palpatine(well her being a Palps is by this point the most likely of those, but ya kno). Now is the time for me to put my tinfoil tiara on because I think that it is very probable that Rey is

a clone

AND/OR a sleeper agent.

The reason I think this is because the very first thing I thought, before dismissing it as symbolism, in the cave scene when Rey saw her reflections was that holy shit is she a clone!? (later i was glad that i wasn’t the only one who thought that bc of all the theory videos floating around). I think that it might have been part of Palpy’s contingency plan to restart clone production, and especially how to clone someone force sensitive(that might be why the cloning guy from Mandolorian wants Baby Yoda’s dna or whatever), and he might have succeeded and Rey just happens to a random one of the clones, maybe she was misplaced, or planted on Jakku, who knows. I don’t think she is the clone template, but she might be. Then the dark Rey we’ve seen in the trailers will probably be one of the other clones. (or it could totally just be a vision and i’m just full of bs)

OR if she is a sleeper agent she might have been placed on Jakku for some reason, maybe her memories are real, maybe they are planted, who knows. Palps has some kind of trigger words or something to either wake her up, or put her under a Winter Soldier type like spell(who is the real Rey?).

The reason I kind of came back to these theories was because of the latest TV spots as of  the 14th of December.

But then again she could have been created somehow by the force to meet the darkness in Kylo OR if any of the above, or her being a Palpy is true, she might have been created by the dark(Palps maybe somehow) to meet Ben’s light, because Ben was conceived by light essentially, but then manipulated. Who knows, I certainly don’t.

This is basically a long way of saying I am now in the mindset that I don’t NEED Rey to be a nobody(everyone is somebody) just not a Skywalker or Solo, or even a Kenobi(though I like that headcanon the best), but it is also fine if she is.

(Also out of every brunette lady in Star Wars the internet have speculated being Rey’s mom I think Qi’ra is most likely. But I don’t really think she is.)

(Also, also, Rey got her name/made her name up from the helmet she had on Jakku.)

NOW onto some other stuff that could totally be separate from everything above. Theories and wishful thinking:

What’s going on with C-3PO is that he is getting his pre-end-of-ROTS memories back, sacrificing his memories after that, and that helps with something, perhaps telling Anakin’s true story to Ben (R2-D2 already knowing all of it kinda blows holes in this, BUT maybe C-3PO wouldn’t believe him or something and we need him to articulate to the audience idk.)

We’re going on a Horcrux hunt. That’s it.

Anakin force ghost DEFINITELY. (and maybe even a whole army of former jedi force ghosts helping to save the day idk, but Ani is DEF showing up or else i will sue)

(Anakin hearing Padme’s voice, him turning his head and smiling knowing his love is there for him in the cosmic force)

Ben finishing what his grandfather started(aka defeating Palpy) (also palpy being back doesn’t undercut anakin’s redemption bc it’s the thought that counts even tho palpy didn’t disappear)

If Leia dies(she might not, but probably will), it is from space radiation and she falls asleep peacefully, Connix(Billie) holding her hand because everyone else is off world. (ugh sob)

(Anakin being there with her omg??)

Speaking of Connix she will at LEAST have as big of a role in this as she did in TLJ if not larger. Please.

Chewie will NOT die.

Nor will the Falcon.

In the space battle(from the scene where we can see the Ghost and maybe the Colossus) we see glimpses from inside the ships(as we usually do), one of them being Hera Syndulla(the actual best pilot in the galaxy) going “phoenix leader standing by” and Jacen is with her casually using the force to grab stuff and shit PLEASE.

same goes for Kaz and co. i guess but i don’t care as much about them sorry.

(Ahsoka. maybe. played by Rosario Dawson please. Catching a glimpse of force ghost Ani at the end celebration and he’s smiling at her being proud BC THEY HAVE THE BEST MOST BEAUTIFUL MOST HEARTBREAKING RELATIONSHIP IN ALL OF STAR WARS sorry)

Okay so Harrison won’t show up, BUT ALDEN MIGHT.

AKA flashbacks baby.

Force healing.

The fact that the TITLE is The Rise of Skywalker can’t POSSIBLY mean the end of the Skywalker line, ergo Reylo babies. I don’t make the rules.

Okay now I’m going dark, see you suckers after TROS.

[steve0discusses]

Yugioh S2 Ep 31: You Can’t Spell Marriage Without Mai

First off, when I got to this episode, I turned to my bro and said “WHAT” and he said “Right? This episode is the best. It’s all down from here” and I was like “YOU SAID THAT TWO EPISODES AGO” so now I know Bro can never be trusted.

If you had told me the plot of this episode before I watched it, I’d say “no, that is Mario Party Fanfiction, and you’ve changed all the names.” That is where this episode went.

Does Mario Party Fanfic exist? Quick Google search, one moment. Dear Lord. OK, I’m back.

Now guys I want you to know that every time a ship comes up in Yugioh, I write like...10k words about it, math equations appearing around my head, as I try to figure out what the freakin hell anyone is even doing and if the writers even know what they’re doing, and I’ll just promptly delete it. I just want you to know the service I do for you. Every time it comes up I start ranting about what the hell an ancient Egyptian would even understand about modern romance and then I stop myself and go “No! Focus!” and I’ll Ctrl-A and I’ll just *delete* and feel a burden lift off my shoulders and into the ceiling like a prayer.

And then this episode happened?

And I’m just like...

...

well I TRIED to spare you.

Please admire how many people they stuffed into Mai’s very small convertible. I half expected them to drive up to Kiki’s Delivery Service.

In case you’ve also forgotten something that happened 40 episodes ago, Mai saved Joey last season by giving him a McGuffin as well as a gross ass handkerchief (which he doesn’t have anymore, the whole 'will they ever return the gross ass handkerchief’ plotline seems to have left the building) and finally, here, halfway through S2 we’re going to actually address why Mai would have any compassion for this bundle of awful kids.

I mean, Joey is still in high school and Mai is like 24 (although some say 44???) so I’m pretty sure they were trying to make it seem platonic or motherly between these two but eh, I don’t even know with this show, man. I mean she and Joey are 8 years apart but Serenity is 4 years Tristan’s junior despite Mokuba being 1 year younger than her and like right there. (Mokuba’s like 12 by the way, something surprising I found out when I did a Google Deep Dive on everyone’s canonical weight a few episodes ago.) And then Pharaoh is like either 5000 or 16-ish depending on who’s asking, so age doesn’t seem to be ever an inhibiting factor in this show.

But as is Yugioh tradition, any space that could possibly be filled with any growth between a boy and a girl--even platonically--must be absolutely derailed by something exploding.

(read more under the cut)

Stepping out from inside of this limousine is a man who wears sunglasses at night, and so at first I thought “oh hell it’s Pegasus’ security, he’s back” But he’s...he’s not. I really, really wish it were.

Joey literally wiped his hand off on the ass of his jeans before trying to shake the hand of this guy he has never mentioned before in his life but swears is his favorite person in the world.

Jean wisely left him hanging.

Joey is SO ready to see a ship in this show actually do something. So ready, that he is willing to accept Mai and this rando we’ve never seen before as canon, despite the fact I’m pretty sure a chunk of last season was trying (rather unsuccessfully) to pair him up with Mai?

It’s not where I expected this episode to go! I really thought we were going to go and play a tourney? We were meeting up with Kaiba at a stadium one block away - he’s just sitting there on his big ass dragon shaped chair and like “omg the moment I walk away they get completely distracted, every single time.”

Anyways, lets get to a flashback where very fancy people in pastel suits were playing cards because apparently cards isn’t just for streetfighting.

I have been wading through 1.5 seasons of these characters doing these elaborate dances around each other to never ever speak a word of commitment or relationship, and I’ve been pretty OK with them doing that. Honestly, the less romance in my Yugioh, the more satisfied I am, but then, after 1.5 seasons of basically nothing but Serenity wearing some bandages and needing a lift from the hospital, suddenly we have this random guy show up and profess marriage, and it is the most whiplash this show has ever given me.

I will accept demonic weird ass devices threatening children, spooky magic, bad history, and all sorts of weird ass outfits but like marraige???? wtf?????

Which is something that Mai seems to know because she turned him right down as you should when a person you’ve never met before decides to marry you based on your ability to coordinate cards in a deck.

Joey honestly thinks being a rich star will automatically make you marriageable material, because I guess Joey completely forgot about Seto Kaiba, a very famous billionaire who is maybe one of the least marriageable people on the planet.

So what gets me about this episode and what makes it so freakin weird is that everyone here accepts this as the rules from this point on.

She MUST be married if Mai enters and then loses this game. Welcome to the Yugioh universe. This is how card people dating works. This is law, she has to accept this proposal if this card game based on chance loses.

Anyways, Yugi’s here to be the voice of reason in a dating episode and that’s something I didn’t expect to write in a sentence.

Yes, his motive was “Mai, this will take too long” not “Mai, you don’t know this guy, and he’s probably crazy” it was “Mai please, I know the world will end when I enter this tourney and so you have nothing to lose and it’s the best time to marry a stranger actually, but can you not? It’s taking SO LONG.”

Duke Devlin in the back still trying helplessly to keep up with what the hell is going on since he wandered on this team by complete accident four episodes ago.

And yes, it’s THIS that makes Joey not like this guy. Not the part where he proposed out of the blue, nearly ran over them with his car, stalked Mai for like a year, and then completely disregarded Mai’s common sense. No--this part, where he threatened to kick Mai out of the competition. That was the low blow to Joey.

You will lose this duel and gain a husband.

That is an actual line from the show, folks, this show went places.

aaaaand Mai starts losing right away.

DAMN

IT.

This is the one thing I thought was pretty much in the bag. That there would not be the concept of one of these characters getting married. That was the One thing I was sure of. But I was not only wrong, but this is like the most bizarre wedding I’ve ever seen on TV. It’s basically a shotgun wedding but with cards???

And what makes this more bizarre, and it was something I only noticed after watching this episode, is that we’ve seen this type of behavior before. But at the time, back in the beginning of this season I was just like “that was just a really weird thing that happened that wouldn’t possibly be accepted as normalized in this universe.”

Like, remember that creepy DDR guy who dueled Yugi so that if he beat Yugi in a match, that creepy guy would become Tea’s boyfriend despite never spending more than 2 minutes with either of them? That despite the fact that Yugi isn’t even her boyfriend, it was like something all three of them were like “I guess I have to go through with this now.” At the time I just assumed that was an insane thing that happened. I just assumed that would never come back.

This was the episode where suddenly I realized, maybe the big issue with these kids dating is a hell of a lot more than just actually going on dates. Maybe it’s because I didn’t understand what their love language is. It’s not Receiving Gifts, Quality Time, Acts of Service, Words of Affirmation, and for sure as hell isn’t Physical Touch, it’s the 6th, not very often talked about love language, that’s right, it’s Cards. Rewrite everything, Gary Chapman. Tear it all down and reshoot all those Ted Talks, we forgot something.

Like, sometimes I forget that these guys live in a universe controlled by cards. I mean we’ve seen cards and romance intermingle twice. (three times, if you count Rebecca, who might be engaged to Yugi now? It was kind of a really weird ending to a card game) Pegasus even tried to resurrect his dead wife through cards. All these cards currently exist because of Pegasus’ undying love for Cecilia (who is...OMG I forgot that chick might be alive somewhere)

What I’m saying is that...What if this is how they’ve actually dated this whole time? What if this whole time that I assumed no one was dating they......they actually...were? What if I just didn’t notice, because it was just so freakin weird? What if this is more like how in a Jane Austen novel, if someone goes on a walk with someone else it’s basically like 3rd base?

Like, remember Jane Austen’s Persuasion, where Captain Wentworth went on a walk with Louisa and she was like “hey catch me, I’m 14 years old!” and then she tripped off a wall and got a concussion and he was like “DAMN IT! Now I have to marry her!” and everyone was like “Well congrats on getting married, Louisa.” and then she fell in love with a sad poet who gave her soup once while Captain Wentworth was getting his nuptials planned out in Bath and so Louisa dumped Captain Wentworth’s sorry ass and he was like “OH THANK YOU. YOU ARE SO 14.” And then sad soup man showed up in Bath while Wentworth and the rest of Louisa’s family was quickly crossing out “Wentworth” on all the marriage invitations and sad soup man was like “Before Louisa, I was in love with this other chick, but she died, so I’m pretty stoked I found Louisa.” and Captain Wentworth was like “You’re such an asshole for cheating on your dead girlfriend, I would never do that, you ass!” and then immediately married Anne Wentworth by writing her one single letter saying “hey, want to get married Y/N?” despite the fact that he went well out of his way to avoid her the entire book?

What if that’s been going on in the background of Yugioh but I just didn’t know because, unlike Persuasion, I never took a college class on Yugioh Dating Customs so I have no idea when it ever happens.?

See, this is the stuff I usually delete but like psh whatever, it’s a dating episode, so for once this isn’t a tangent, and yes, I am reading too much into this, thank you.

Anyway, after Joey asks Yugi what to do and then telephones what Yugi just told him to Mai enough times, Mai beats Jean Claud Magnum and avoids a lifetime of...whatever that would have been like.

However, something is off about that game and it takes a card wizard to explain it to us although it was...........really obvious.

This is the third time someone on this show was abducted by a ninja net.

She gets kidnapped by a guy in a ninja jet suit contraption and this is her reaction!? Freakin lucid dream what the hell?

This is the weirdest show I’ve ever watched. Not so much because it has stuff other shows don’t have, but because it forces me to have these expectations of what I think it is and then, once I get comfortable, completely changes it. Last episode Bakura murdered 3 established characters in a graveyard. Like, not even random people, Bakura murdered 3 named people with funny accents we’ve known since last season. That was already completely insane for a kid’s show to do. But rather than address whatever the hell is going on with Bakura, we’re just going to add more to the pot and throw in this crazy asshole, too. For kicks.

Like this is a filler episode somehow? This filler episode would be an entire season of any other kid’s show.

So this episode ends with Mai hanging from a flag pole in a miniskirt, but it’s not like anyone in this city would ever peek their nose out of their window to see what the hell is going on, so at least she doesn’t have to worry about upskirting an entire town. Just these two people.

And like, Joey’s such a mess in that head anyway that like who freakin cares? He’ll probably wake up tomorrow without any memory of yesterday thanks to possession, drowning, getting beat up, tied up, and then this oncoming concussion.

I’m pretty sure she should have stabbed him right through with this duel disk?

(the dialogue really does imply that if he had done this himself she would have been cool with it. How freakin weird is Mai?)

And then he just lets her go? Makes you wonder if it was an abduction or just a game he thought she would enjoy? I don’t know. This episode was all over the place. I mean...maybe he really thought she’d like getting caught in a net and being flown all around Domino? I don’t freakin know.

Like, in my opinion she was stalked for over a year and abducted with several witnesses. But, no one is calling the cops. So like...was this weird to them? This was very weird to us...but like...maybe Mai was like “hm, that was a so-so date.” because this type of behavior is just how this universe does?

....

....

Yugioh, are you OK?

Anyways, next week:

Is the tourney cancelled because after episodes and episodes of tangents, no one ever freakin shows up and Kaiba has to go back to school to do a Chem final? Does Duke Devlin ever even do anything? Does it take 20 minutes for Bakura to walk through security because he keeps setting off the metal detector with his invisible necklace that he can never take off?

[ladyhistorypod]

Ep 44: Return Flight: The Pilot Pilot Remastered

Sources:

ABC News 10: Last known letter sent before Amelia Earhart’s disappearance found

The rest of our sources can be found on our original post.

Click below for a transcript of this episode!

Haley: You’re trying to force my wisdom out of me that’s not gonna work well.

Lexi: She’s trying to force us to become Chicago improv-ers

(Alana laughing)

Haley: Yeah

Lexi (laughing): This is her dream. Alana’s dream is not to do improv but to be a podcaster like a Chicago improv-er

Alana (laughing, quietly): Actually, yeah

Haley: It’s so funny cuz she was just like I wrote the script and I was like… script?

Lexi: There’s a script? We have a script?

Haley: I act now? (Alana laughing) I barely read. (Lexi laughing) Like after that doing the trailer this is gonna be bananas for when I’m – when I’m reading my notes

Lexi: Archaeologists don’t read. Archaeologists can’t read.

Alana: Archaeologists don’t read.

Lexi: We can’t read.

Haley: I also realized Lexi just picks like the best sounding… whatever

Lexi: The best sounding banter and then I put in the intro music

[INTRO MUSIC]

Alana: Hello and welcome to Lady History: the good, the bad, and the ugly ladies you missed in history class. I’m here with Lexi. Lexi, what are you reading?

Lexi: The instructions on how to turn off this Zoom call because I need to get outta here.

(Alana and Haley laughing)

Alana: I’m also in the same virtual space as Haley. Haley, what are you eating?

Haley: I had some chips and yogurt earlier.

Lexi: Together?

Alana: Chips and yogurt?

Haley: Yeah. That’s like a REAL Persian thing. We can get into that… Oh, the stunned faces, I shouldn’t have– I should’ve lied.

(Lexi and Alana laughing)

Haley: I should’ve lied okay, I’m eating burgers and fries. I’m eating mac n cheese. Insert whatever.

Alana: and I’m Alana and I use 150% of the garlic a recipe calls for.

Haley: (making airplane sounds)

Lexi:  What sound does an airplane make?

Alana (quietly): I don’t even remember

Haley: (repeats airplane sound)

(Lexi laughing)

Alana: You guys it’s been so long since I’ve been on an airplane I don’t even remember what noise airplanes make.

Lexi: I was detained at the airport in Israel. Kind of.

Alana: Jesus, Lexi what did you do?!.

Lexi: So I was with a group, I was coming back from a dig… In case you don't know we're all archaeologists I feel like I've made that joke already. I was leaving the excavation… And with people from a different school but the most of the people on the dig were from my school but only I was leaving with the people from the other school and so when I got to the airport the nice Israeli woman asked if I was with those people and I said no I'm not with them because I went to a different school but then when they got through they said they were with me and they caught us in our lie and so they detained us for three hours.

Haley: That's why you got detained?! 

Lexi: Yes.

Haley: I got detained for looking like me and having my name.

Lexi: We all have our different qualities. 

Alana: I have never been detained at an airport.

Lexi: Airports are nerve-wracking. They’re very anxiety-inducing.

Alana: So much anxiety… anyway.

Lexi:  And the food's always bad.

Haley: I'll jump right in. So obviously, someone had to cover Amelia Earhart and I'm like a dumbass like I'm just gonna put it out there. I am– I still need some working on in the brain area and when I was little like my brain works in strange ways and you’ll learn about this as we go on with this podcast and even I think you two don't even understand how my brain works exactly but I'll remember things just in the pockets of my brain folds from like when I was a small child. When I was like learning about Amelia Earhart in like the elementary school days for like women's history month I spelled her name as air A-I-R. and heart H-E-A-R-T. And that's–

Alana (quietly): Love that for you

Haley: Absolutely not how you spell her name. It’s E-A-R-H-R-T.

Alana: A-R-T.

Haley: A-R-T.

Lexi: Still can’t spell it.

Haley: Still can’t spell it...

(Alana laughing)

Haley: While looking at the words on my screen. And I typed it in like my child version way into my Word doc and it wasn't coming out and I was just looking at it like why isn't this working for me. Googled it, got like air heart sign like all this astrology stuff like not Amelia so I just typed in airheart because I was on a roll with myself. Regardless, her nickname is Lady Lindy so I’m gonna call her Lady Lindy for this, because it’s Lady History I can’t not. So I wanna preface this that I– because with work and finishing up a summer course I had like about a day and a half to write these notes. And all my sources are decent like they're not– I didn't have time to like read a whole book of hers like she has many biographies and such and like different documentaries. But I used like children's museums, NASA, the New Yorker, History Channel, National Geographic so nothing out of the ordinary of good research. But there are so many conflicting dates and information that I almost thought I was being punked somehow. So there might be loopholes where you’re like “Haley, you have to be a decent researcher and fill this in” and I'm just leaving it out because I don't want to say anything completely wrong so I'm using like the facts that came up on like at least three of the sites. Nothing from Wikipedia is going to be on here I'll leave that one be. I’ll mention Wikipedia at one point but like it wasn't a hardcore source. Well, for Lady Lindy born in Kansas on July 24th 1894 planes were not yet invented for her flying needs yet and I'm gonna make a preface because I was looking at– I love looking at like the blogs people write because for Amelia Earhart there are just so many enthusiasts, so many people still blogging about her.

Lexi: Conspiracy theorists.

Haley: Don't worry I got you covered we're gonna go into three different like theories about her death and everything. It's truly everywhere I don't know– I can't remember what it's from, but I kind of have to do like a step back and just think if this person knew what type of plane she was flying and not like a mega Delta or like Alaska plane like this was like an old plane that could only go like a few hundred feet off the ground. So I just wanna like bring that up here from the beginning like these aren't gonna be the planes that we were just talking about that we hop on to go visit each other. Because like there are some bloggers where I’m like you know some of the conspiracy stuff but the actual facts? This is– this is not good. No bueno. She first saw a plane at a state fair when she was about ten years old, but didn't start flying for like another ten-ish years around like 1920-1921.

Alana: I don't think they let ten year olds fly.

(Lexi laughing)

Haley: Yeah absolutely not, but she was very fascinated from like that point that was like she was the plane girl. You know how we have horse girls? She was plane girl.

(Lexi laughing)

Haley: When she was able to start flying in like 1920/1921 she was the sixteenth woman to receive a pilot's license… so like wow well done. So she's not known for being like the first pilot which I saw often. People are like this is the first female pilot. No. Like because once you have your pilot’s license you're a pilot in like my book. And I guess like you could be just a female and just be like this is my plane now I'm gonna press the button and go zoom.

Lexi: Do you need a license to be a pilot? Like if I’m in a plane and I’m flying it, aren’t I a pilot?

Alana (quietly): Oh my god.

Haley: So, she's training a lot and she's really into it and her popularity keeps growing because she just keeps trying to get into different organizations especially for female flyers. And on June 17th 1928, she departed from Newfoundland. (And let me just do a preface to the universe if I do not pronounce something right, kindly call me out on it) Which is a large island off of, like, off the North Americas near Canada so up north from us with pilots Bill and Slim. Those are their nicknames, but it's Wilmer Schultz and Louis Gordon. So she was with Bill and Slim. There she became the first woman to fly across the Atlantic and she later, like right after, soon after became the first woman and second person to fly across the Atlantic alone.

Lexi: Alone.

Haley: Alone. So I couldn't find any definitive research but for her– the flight that she's known for like going around the globe which, I will absolutely talk about, I don't know what alone means for these planes because when she went around the world she was with another guy. Like she was a pilot but then there'd be a navigator so theoretically there are two people.

Lexi: I think it’s without a co pilot so you don't get a break.

Haley: Yeah.

Lexi: I think when– based on my lady who we’ll get into I think anything that says solo it doesn't mean no one else was in the plane– it might mean that but it means no one else piloted while you were piloting. Like you didn’t go take a nap.

Haley: Yeah so like when we say alone, at least for Lexi and my human, there is usually a navigator so it's not her just chilling out in the plane.

Lexi: Cuz they didn't have the fancy machines.

Haley: Exactly. And her navigators are predominantly male. Or at least the two that they talked to.

Lexi: Juicy.

Haley: Yeah so it's not like a full on lady ship flying through the air.

Lexi: Lady ship flying through the air!

Haley: After this flight especially where she flies across on her own, she's just mega popular. This is where her name really becomes a household name, she probably gets the nicknames Lady Lindy, she calls herself A. E. as her own nickname. And I'm gonna just go on my own little tangent of some of the cool things and like… just tidbits about her that I found out from honestly the Children’s Museum of Indianapolis which I was like… alright here we go. The first thing is when I found out that there was the navigator I didn't realize what the navigator was. I thought like what Lexi said like it's the copilot but no. So she had to stay awake for all these trips. And I was like wait how did you do that because like I can't do that I really thought the navigator was a co pilot and you just get kind of like the… for academic papers you have the co authors but there's like the first author and the second author and you usually remember the first guy's name. But no she's flying the whole time. She didn't like coffee or tea like any like those caffeinated drinks. So she would use smelling salts to stay awake. They still have like one of the like little tiny glass bottles of smelling salts in their collection and I'm like… okay. That like creeps me out I feel like that's a little sketchy but like and probably not healthy but I'm not a medical professional so I'm not gonna give you advice.

Alana: Cocaine!

(Lexi laughing)

Haley: That's the thing I tried seeing like they were– in the collection and just like with what I was saying smelling salts, it didn't say what the smelling salts were… and I wanna know what it is.

Lexi: Yeah, you know like when a lady faints when a lady... a lady faints you give her the smelling salts.

Haley: Like 1930s smelling salts has to be mixed with something weird because we were still in the place like Coke still had cocaine.

Alana: Laced with cocaine!!

Haley: Okay yeah and then– 

Alana: I mean, we're not a hundred percent sure that it's cocaine.

Lexi: That was just– yeah.

Alana: That's just us being funny I don't wanna get sued. We don't know that it's cocaine! 

Haley: I love that now we have to preface that we're just crazy people. So the other thing that I found that this was kind of like “Oh, I should have known this” or like “this makes sense” is that you know how she has like the iconic goggles and leather cap? She hated those things. At least the goggles, she hated wearing them that's why most of the pictures she's not wearing them and it's like our drawings, depictions, us reproducing something of Amelia Earhart has the goggles. But she would put them on right before the runway and then take them off immediately at landing because like you had to wear them with the dinky planes that they had. But she still was like I'm not about it. But however what she did like was just fashion in general. She did even have like she went on to create like her own clothing line that was actually advertised in Vogue, and I'm trying to find like a copy of it. I’ll keep you all updated but yes she was part of the international organization of women's pilots. I think she even like helped create it, but it's called the Ninety Nine and it's a non profit that provided networking, mentoring, and flight scholarships or opportunities for other women and out of this they kind of have like their own like clothing line for pilots because obviously it was a male profession, for the most part. She was like the sixteenth person to get a flying license. So they kind of like created their own uniform and had their own uniform to sell. Vogue picked it up and I thought that was also really cool because she's predominantly known for flying solo across the Atlantic and attempting going around the globe which she dies in. Like she– all the things like if you just see like or at least what I did for my Google search just typing in her name all the first things will say like her death something about her death which I'm actually gonna go into right now. So her flight was in a Lockheed Electra 10 E., and her navigator was Fred Noonan. No idea, I had no idea this was a thing. She had a navigator so she wasn't alone in this. And this was their second time attempting, or at least Amelia’s second time attempting. The first time she tried taking off from California but crashed into Honolulu. This was gonna be like even longer. I think there's like one guy who did this before… I have his name even. Wiley Post had flown around the world in seven days and he was like the first aviator to accomplish this. So she was going to be like the second person but the first woman to do this and hers was gonna be even longer because she was predominantly gonna take the equator and just like go around the equator… belly of the Earth. But she didn't make it. They lost contact around like July 2nd. I think she had like seven thousand miles left. Like she was like almost there like they had like she was on this journey for a while and then there was a day of just them not having contact and this is where we also get this whole story on like what the line of events whatever that saying is… the happenings of her life get a little hairy. Like this is where like Nat Geo had one thing to say, Time magazine had another, a quick YouTube from like a documentary had like the third thing to say. But basically on July 2nd she lost contact. We really don't know what happened after that. It's not like the last contact is “we're headed for the Pacific Ocean.” So that has opened up to years and ongoing research like still happening research on what happened to her. She was declared dead after two years of her disappearance. So people like have said she's died and it's in like so it would be 1939 I believe it was like January first or January second just how the law works. And her husband, George Putnam, who’s an author, publisher, and explorer– or was he died. And she wrote to him “Please know I am quite aware of the hazards. I want to do it because I want to do it. Women must try to do things as men have tried. When they fail their failure must be a challenge to others.” Which… is true. So many people wanted to be Amelia and like she’s still an icon in lady history like we're doing it right now.

Haley: Haley here, with somewhat of an update or an addition to Amelia’s story from this News 10 ABC article that’s linked in the show notes… where a man in San Diego found four letters that were hand written to Captain Fred Noonan, Amelia’s navigator, giving details about their journey around like the globe. This was their big one. There was dates between 1935 and 1937, one specifically postmarked to June 23, 1937, from The Grand Hotel in Indonesia. And there are a bunch of different articles about finding these letters, and I’m just using the one to hammer out the main points, which means that we now know the last correspondence of Amelia and Noonan before disappearing. And one of the letters actually was seventeen pages long, detailing specific dates, locations, and weather challenges. So, where are these letters? The family of the letters have not decided where they should go, but the article alluded to the possibility of the letters being on display in a museum, or at some point in the eye of the public, that we could learn from and kind of get some closure on Amelia Earhart’s story and her trip around the globe.

AD BREAK

Alana: I'll go next because talking about the Night Witches, Night Witches. Just kidding, we don't, that's I. P. don't sue us. The Night Witches were an all female air regiment in World War Two in the… in Russia in the Soviet Union which I learned in my research that Russians call it The Great Patriotic War so that’s something fun

Lexi: Okay. Alright. Okay. That’s juicy.

Alana: That’s juicy. So this all female air regiment was started by a woman named Marina Raskova or the Soviet Amelia Earhart. That's like her fun little nickname. I did learn about this story from Drunk History. So obviously since we're gonna be talking about the Soviet Union during World War Two I just want to say: Stalin is a bad dude. The only good thing that Stalin ever did was fight Nazis. And that's like that one Onion it's like the Onion or some other like comedy news article and the headline just said “oh no the worst person you know just made a good point.”

Lexi: Mm. Yes.

Alana: That's how I feel about Stalin. There’s a Guardian article that I'll get to a little bit later and it interviews some of these Night Witches and they call Nazis fascists and I'm like oh honey I got some bad news for you. I got some bad news for you.

Haley: Wait hold up so you're saying like...

Alana: I’m saying that Stalin is a fascist.

Haley: No no I know but like he didn't like he said a no no to the Nazis, so like the people who are like “Nazis are chill” you're worse than Stalin is that really where you want to like, the hill you want to die on? Is being worse than Stalin? 

Lexi: That's what she said? I don’t think that’s what she said.

Alana: I don’t think that’s what I said.

Lexi: I think she just said the Night Witches don't like fascists, but the guy they loved was a fascist.

Alana: Was also a fascist.

Haley: I thought you were going– my brain just went straight to… from Stalin not liking Nazis to these girls potentially not liking Nazis and I had to be like hold up. Are you saying they’re like worse than–

Lexi: I don't think, I don't think Stalin liked Nazis and I don't think these women liked Nazis.

Haley: People shouldn’t like Nazis.

Alana: We’re gonna go on the record, we're gonna say people shouldn't like Nazis. So, I did learn about the story from Drunk History season six episode fourteen. I'm gonna reference that a couple times, the storyteller is Jess McKenna and it's very funny but that's it because they're not sponsoring us. So the Night Witches were started by Marina Raskova. She was a navigator in the Red Army so like we were saying there's someone in the plane who like tells you where to go and what to do but who isn't flying for realsies and that was what Marina did and we are on a first name basis because we're tight, we're best friends and she definitely one hundred percent has not been dead since 1943. That's just we're just tight, we’re close, me and her ghost. Not– just kidding. So women were barred from combat in the Red Army and for a lot of modern history.

Haley: Go over what the Red Army is.

Alana: The Red Army is what the army was called in the USSR that's like what they call their army was the Red Army because communism. And so the women were really only allowed slowly into the army because Russia was taking devastating, crushing, horrible losses. And Marina was getting letters from civilian women who wanted to help and they were like “Marina you're so cool you're amazing because you're fighting and we wish that we could fight” because they are losing their husbands their fathers their brothers their sons. So she goes to Stalin and says “Hey, Joseph can I… I’m like, here can I please start some all female air regiments… maybe.” And Stalin says yes. One of the articles I read implied that he maybe only said yes because he was attracted to her and, yeah, that article was written by a man. But she gets this dispensation and she gets all of these women to come in and be pilots. But now that they're in the army they're facing some sexism as is kind of to be expected tragically, tragically to be expected. They're facing sexual harassment which I mean it's still a problem in the year 2020, like nothing changes. It should but it doesn't. But more systematically they have the worst they just have bad equipment. They're getting hand me down uniforms from male soldiers that are way too big so they're like stuffing boots with socks and like everything is super baggy. But let's talk about their planes because that's what we're here for the planes, we’re here for pilots. They're flying training planes. Polikarpov PO-2 biplanes. They’re twenty years old. They’re crop dusters. They have no cockpit protection and they can't go high enough, which you wouldn't want them to because they don't have any cockpit protection. They have to fly at night because they can't go high enough to be out of view. And also, news flash, this is something fun that people might not know, this is just a fun fact. Fun fact: Russia is cold.

Lexi: I had no idea.

Alana: Yeah so these women are getting frostbite. And if you touch the plane it's like so cold that it'll burn your hand. You know what I mean?

Haley: So like, opposite of Amelia's problem.

Alana: Yeah, opposite of Amelia’s problem, exactly. So they’re just like the worst planes ever and they don’t go that high. Like normal equipment radar, radio, fucking parachutes are too heavy for these horrible planes, so they don't have parachutes until 1943. And they can only carry two bombs, each plane can only carry two bombs at a time and they have one under each wing. And so they're going back and forth from their little safety where they store the bombs they're going back to safety and then across enemy lines. And they're dropping bombs and they’re coming back and get more bombs they're going back and just like back and forth back and forth eighteen times a night. But these women are so dope and so good at everything that this is how they get the name Night Witches. It comes from the German Nacht Hexen which means night witches and the planes are too small and too quiet to show up on radar or sonar. But the sound of them coming sounds like a sweeping.

(Lexi and Haley make general noises of understanding)

Alana: So it’s like… their planes are brooms, women are riding them... they’re witches.

Haley: Right.

Alana: But these slow planes end up being kind of a blessing or like a silver lining, sort of, because the fast planes can't go slow enough to shoot them down. Because aerodynamics. Period. Like, that's why big planes need big long runways because they gotta build up enough speed so they don't fall out of the sky. But these slow planes can’t go fast, obviously, duh. News flash, fun fact: slow planes can't go fast. Fast planes can't go slow. and so it's super difficult for them to like– for the Nazi planes to attack the Night Witches’ planes because they can't like keep pace with them, even though they're slower. This 588th air regiment, which is the Night Witches, they're so badass and they're so prolific and they're killing so many Nazis that anyone who shoots down a Night Witch gets the Iron Cross which is the highest honor in the Nazi army. All you gotta do is shoot one down and you get the Iron Cross so– 

Haley: That’s like zero to sixty right there.

Alana: It's zero to sixty. So we're gonna talk about real fast just like the women themselves besides how dope and cool they are. They have twelve commandments, and the first one is “be proud that you are a woman.” I cannot find the other eleven. I have no idea what the other eleven are.

Lexi: Do the other ones matter if the first one’s that good.

Alana: I guess not. This is the gender divide in my sources as well, as the ones that men wrote were like “look they're doing all this all these like womanly things” like they would embroider and wear eyeliner and that kind of fun stuff. But women like Marina, who would look at them and who wrote that and would say be proud that you're a woman because you're doing this crazy stuff you're killing all these Nazis and you're also doing it as a woman so you’re double the badass. One of the… I'm gonna talk about Raisa Surnachevskaya who flew while she was four months pregnant. She was up in a plane, shooting down Nazis, four months pregnant. So that’s pretty dope.

Haley: Alrighty then.

Alana: And there was this camaraderie between these women especially Raisa Surnachevskaya (as I said) and Tamara Pamyatnykh and in this Guardian article from 2001 which is very, it’s so from 2001. Tamara is reminiscing about it and how she took out two bombers before being shot down and she's worried that she hadn't done enough that night and is so wo– like she is remembering looking down from the ground thinking that she left Raisa, her “wingman”– her words– her wingman all alone in the sky to fight Nazis and that was very moving to me. I would be worried if I left either of you up in the sky to fight Nazis I’d feel bad too.

(Lexi and Haley laughing)

Alana: I would. The author of that made a point to say, like he's praising these women and then he's like “today's tw–” because they were young, like young women going to fight and he’s like “today's twenty one year olds wear nightclub clothes to work” and I was like did you really have to do that.

Lexi: K. bro.

Alana: Okay, brah. I was like did- did a woman write this. No, a woman did not write it and I was like hmm.

Lexi: [sarcasm audible] And there definitely aren't women in the military in any country in.

Alana: In any country in the world.

Lexi: There definitely aren't. Anywhere.

Alana: All men.

Lexi: Yeah, they’re all men now since there is no big war.

Alana: [laughs] Since there’s no big war.

Lexi: Since big war over women go home back house.

Alana: [laughing] Um...

Lexi: Wear night club clothes work.

Alana: Oh - Yeah, wear nightclub clothes work. So just some statistics there are four hundred women in the 588th night bomber regiment. They flew thirty thousand missions and dropped twenty three thousand tons of bombs and they were the most decorated unit in the Red Army and here's where- do you guys wanna like real fast guess how this story ends.

Lexi: They were decommissioned when the war ended.

Alana: They were disbanded six months after World War Two ended.

Haley: There we go.

Alana: And they were not allowed in the victory parades because-

Haley: Yup.

Alana: - their planes were too slow.

Haley: That tracks.

Lexi: Yup, that makes sense.

Alana: So that's fun.

Lexi: Big war over, go back house.

Alana: [laughs] War over, go back house. And they didn't and then the USSR like collapsed and one of the women who is living in like Latvia I think is not allowed to wear her, her like military medals because of how–

Lexi: Oh because she’s a veteran of the USSR but then they left the USSR.

Alana: Because she's not a citizen of Latvia and she’s not a citizen of the USSR. Like she's a citizen of the USSR.

Lexi: Right.

Alana It is really tragic to read about. And this guy was like twenty one year olds today wear nightclub clothes to work. I'm like well some of them work at nightclubs so shut up. Um and that made me real, real mad. To read that article. But it’s important.

Lexi: But you learned about the cool women. Even if it was-

Alana: I did learn about the cool women and I learned about how much they liked each other. Uh it made me feel really good. That they were like, yeah.

Lexi: Sisterhood.

Alana: Women supporting women.

Lexi: The sisterhood of the flying -

Haley: pants.

Lexi: brooms. The flying pants.

Alana: The flying pants. The sisterhood of the shitty airplane.

Lexi: [laughs] Yes! The sisterhood of the shitty airplane.

Haley: The little airplane that could.

Alana: Little airplane that could, exactly.

Lexi: That would make a great anime.

Lexi: So the reason that I knew that the story of your, your group of women ended with them being decommissioned is because I have the American equivalent story to your story.

Alana: Gasp

Haley: We just went full circle.

Lexi: Let me tell ya.

Alana: Full circle we did it. We did segues you guys.

Lexi: We did it. So did you guys know that before there was ever a man on the moon there was a woman who wanted to go to space.

Alana: That makes sense.

Haley: That tracks.

Alana: I did not know that but that makes sense.

Lexi: I'm gonna tell you her story.

Jacquelyn Cochran was born with the name Bessie Lee Pittman in 1906 in Pensacola, Florida which is one of my favorite city names to say so I'm very happy that's where she was born I find Pensacola to be a very funny word and she was the youngest of five children. Her father worked as a millwright so they traveled around Florida he built mills to mill things and later in life Jackie would claim that she was adopted and raised in poverty but in reality this was her biological family and while they weren't rich they lived a pretty average life and there was always food on the table and they always had like what they needed to survive a very average life for people in the early nineteen hundreds and in 1920 when she was just fourteen she married Robert Cochran who was how she got the Cochran name and the couple had one child who was named Jack and he died really young so when Jackie decided to leave Robert she adopted the name Jacqueline Cochran so she kept her married name and she used the name Jacqueline to honor her son who passed away really on. And she left Robert because she was like not about being a young wife and she moved to New York City where she was able to land a job working at Saks Fifth Avenue which at the time was like the thing to do department stores were brand new.

Haley: Oh yeah.

Lexi:. . . like it was awesome to be there and she became a hairdresser and stylist and she was doing cosmetic work at Saks Fifth Avenue which at the time was like the glamorous job and. . .

Haley: This is giving me some Marvelous Mrs Maisel vibes.

Lexi: Yeah exactly.

Alana: I was just gonna say that.

Lexi: Like if you were a young hot woman this was the job for you so um, while she was working in New York, Jackie met the man who would become her second husband Floyd Bostwick Odlum and Floyd was a CEO. He was at the time one of the richest man in the world -like- some sources say he was in the top ten richest man and he offered to help her start a beauty business under her own name and she was like that's a great idea I love beauty stuff but at the time he was still married to another woman so they had to put a hold on that project until he can get a divorce. Also while working in New York Jackie became enamored with aviation and she saw a plane and her friend was like do you want to go in the plane I'll put you on the plane and so she started taking flying lessons in the 1930s at Roosevelt airfield which is located on Long Island so super close to where she was working in New York. She started to fly and she earned her commercial pilot's license with just two years of flight experience and you do have to log a lot of hours to get your commercial pilot's license so she must've flown a lot in those two years. And in 1936 Floyd finally left his poo poo first wife and married Jackie and they founded a cosmetics line and because of her new found obsession with flight they called the cosmetics line Wings to Beauty.

Haley: I love that.

Lexi: Hoping to capitalize on Jackie's unique position as a female aviator Jackie went on a promotional tour and she flew across the country to promote her new beauty products and since it was a -like- airplane themed thing they thought you know that'll be that'll be cool.

Alana: Winged eyeliner.

Lexi: Yeah and because her husband-

Alana: We’ve come full circle.

Lexi: I know, I know. And as her husband was so influential and stuff he was even able to get celebrities like Marilyn Monroe to like wear her lipstick to like promote it. So you would think this is just some cute girl who has a plane, a cute rich girl with planes and cosmetics but the truth is Jackie was a badass.

Haley: Of course.

Alana: I already thought she was a badass. She truly contains multitudes.

Lexi: She does. So while she was like an icon of the beauty industry what truly makes her story so interesting is this dichotomy that not only was she like a beauty icon and an aviator but she was like one of the best pilots of all time. In 1937 Jackie set the world's women speed record in flight so she flew the fastest a woman had ever flown in a plane in 1937 that same year Jackie was the only woman to compete in the Bendix race, Bendix race I might be saying that wrong but it was a famous race for planes, plane racing the competitors flew from Burbank to Cleveland nonstop and the fastest time was the winner. She was not the first woman ever to fly the Bendix Ameila Earhart actually flew it two years earlier but the difference is Amelia got fifth place when she flew in 1935, the second year Jackie flew which is 1938 she won. She was the fastest person, she beat the man in the race and that that race was really not accepting to women it was very hard for women to get in it, so was a big deal that a woman had beaten up on the man in the race and then she set a transcontinental speed record and broke barriers by setting new altitude records, so she flew higher than men had flown in a lot of places. So prior to the United States joining the war effort in World War two, Jackie didn't want to just sit on her butt. She was really upset about what was happening in Europe and she knew she wanted to do something. So American companies were building aircrafts to supply the British military with planes and so Jackie joined an organization with a bunch of other aviators that was called Wings for Britain not to be confused with Wings to Beauty and it was an organization for a elite American pilots who flew newly constructed military aircrafts to Britain to support the war effort and by participating in this organization Jackie actually became the first woman to fly a bomber plane across the Atlantic Ocean, because she had to get it to Britain. And um that was just the beginning of Jackie's participation the war effort she got really devoted to it and she became really passionate about it, so while she was in Britain she helped the Royal Air Force recruit qualified female pilots from the United States to participate in their Air Transport Auxiliary which it was a group, an organization, that ferried items. 

So they didn't drop bombs, they were non combat, but they carried supplies so they would carry supplies to the army or the airforce or like carry things from one place- point A to point B. And she basically helped them recruit American women because America was not yet involved in the war and she was actually given the rank of Flight Captain in the British Air Transport Auxiliary, a rank that's actually called into the position of Major in the U. S. Air Force because she was so active in recruiting and training women while she was there. And in 1939 Jackie wrote a letter to the White House back in the US and she addressed it to the First Lady Eleanor Roosevelt because she knew that a fellow woman would listen to her she didn't think if she sent it to Mr Roosevelt it would get read. She knew Eleanor would read it, because she probably heard of her beauty products and she probably knew that she was this famous aviatrix and so she sent it to Eleanor and...

Alana: Aviatrix is one of my favorite words. 

Lexi: I know it’s a good word.

Alana: You like Pensacola, I’m like aviatrix.

Lexi: An aviatrix born in Pensacola.

Um so she proposed starting an American version of this auxiliary, an American Army Air Force auxiliary of women who were non combat pilots and Jackie argued that women can complete all of the non combat aviation jobs, thus freeing up more male pilots for direct combat as America became more involved in the war. So you know what we're about to get a war where a lot of guys are going to die, a lot of bomber planes are going to go down, and you might need women who are already trained pilots to come in and help you because it takes a long time to learn how to fly a plane. And there are all these women who are flying planes already. So this organization would be the American equivalent of that auxiliary in Britain and at the time the army like not the Air Force army which at the time the army and Air Force America were one thing but the Air Force was like under the army branch so the army itself had started the WAC, which is the women's army auxiliary corps program and it gave non combat jobs to women so they could work in the army army not the air force part of the army and Jackie felt it was possible to expand that to the people in the air so from the land to the air they could include the auxiliary for women so despite the shortage of qualified men who are pilots there was hesitation to Jackie's proposal from leaders in the U. S. military they were like we can’t have women flying planes. And so Lt. General Henry H. Arnold whose nickname was haps which is the lamest nickname I've ever heard. 

Alana: It’s like, it’s like um, in your yearbook have a great summer hags.

Lexi: HAGS. Um so he asked Jackie to find out how many female pilots there were and to recruit and take American women to Britain and observe the auxiliary that was there and then use that information that her in those women could gain to possibly found their own American group. It was like I don't want to test this here but if you keep bringing women over to America er it's over to Britain which she was already doing if that goes well, maybe I'll let you approve doing that in America. So then in 1943 which was 4 years after she came up with this idea the WASPS were born and I would just like to say that the WASPS is the coolest name and the fact that we don't have that name in our military anymore especially for pilots because wasps fly. It's really sad so WASPS stands for women's airforce service pilots and this was a group where Jackie was the director and another female pilot named Lovelace was like the co director she's also really famous really popular so if you're interested in female pilots, check her out, but basically in this role Jackie supervised the training of hundreds of female pilots and they became part of World War 2 effort. They transported items, they never saw combat, they were not as dope as the Night Witches. And first service during World War 2 Jackie earned a Distinguished Service Medal, which at the time many women did not earn these types of honors it was a really big deal that she earned that award and the WASPS were disbanded after the war ended. And Jackie was hired as a magazine reporter. She just moved on with her life what somewhere else and the WASPs were never to be seen again, and to be fair now women can become pilots in the modern Air Force but it is a little sad that we don't have anything called the WASPS anymore. 

Haley: Are there any other like acro-names? Names for-

Lexi: Yes. It’s in WACS, the WASPS, and the WAVEs. The WACS in the army, the WAVES in the Navy and the WASPS are the airforce, during uh World War II.

Haley: Uh, WAVEs like the ocean.

Lexi: YES. If you don't know a lot about women's participation in World War 2, I have recently become a nerd about it - mainly because the names are good and the recruitment posters are even better. I would have probably signed up, just from the propaganda. 

Alana: Just from the propaganda no Lexi!

Lexi: So yes, so she became a magazine reporter. She traveled the world and the purpose of her going around was to document like post war life like how were different parts of the world adjusting to post war life. She was even at like the Nuremburg trials and stuff. Like she was really involved in post war were to break down. And she actually became the first non-Japanese woman to set foot on Japanese soil after the end of World War 2. Which is like pretty crazy. She just flew in there, landed, got off the plane. Um in 1948 Jackie joined the Air Force Reserve. She was one of the first women to actually technically become a member of the Air Force by serving in the reserves because technically the WASPs were an auxiliary. And she remained a member until 1970, so majority of her life she was in the reserves in case there would ever be another war effort she would need to participate in, she wanted to be ready to go, ready for battle. And during this part of her flying career she actually attained the rank of Colonel which is like a really high rank in military systems, so she was very well renowned and regarded. And Jackie was the first woman to break the sound barrier on May 18, 1953 she flew 652 miles per hour to break the sound barrier. They called her the supersonic lady in the news articles which is pretty cool.

Alana: That’s the nickname. 

Lexi: In the 1960s Jackie wanted to go further than the sky. She wanted to go to space. And she became a financial sponsor of the women's Mercury program. There'd been a man's mercury program which had basically been a program to test people to see if they would make good astronauts and so the doctor that did that was like women would be really good in space why don't I test them. So the Mercury program was intended to train women to become astronauts and the belief was that women would make great astronauts because they were on average smaller so they were less weight and less height and they usually consumes less water, food and oxygen than men apparently. I didn't know that I thought I, I think I eat a lot but you know what now I think about it, maybe my brother eats more than me so I guess it’s good. 

Alana: That's the same logic that they're using like they're talking about the first manned like manned mission to Mars is possibly going to be all women because they take up less space and don't consume as much.

Haley: Because we’re tiny.

Lexi: They’re a littler people, but not really.

Alana: It’s true.

Lexi: I mean on average we are shorter so that's why. So Jackie was really frustrated because the the male doctor who is doing the testing for Mercury. Of course, it was a male doctor. He had really strict age requirements. He wanted the women to be like in their twenties - very young, very fit and he would not allow married women or single mothers to participate so if you were married or had children you could not participate in this program. And Jackie was married and 50 and so she was a little teed off because the whole reason that her and her husband were drowning money into this is because she was going to become the first woman in space. Yes- she was in her fifties, she was married, she technically did not qualify, but she convinced the doctor to let her participate in the test along with the 19 other women. So they selected 20 people total including Jackie and the tests were really intense. They had icy water shot at their face to induce vertigo.

Haley: Ugh.

Lexi: They were put in deprivation tanks to disturb their sensory functions and see what would happen when they were like deprived of all their senses.

Haley: Are those like the salts pods, cause I've done the salts pods where its like they-

Lexi: I don’t know..They put you on a thing and close the lid and you can't-

Haley: Yeah yeah so I’ve kinda done that where it's like I’ve done one where it's as salty as the dead sea, so you float, and you're in like the pod and it's completely dark and you just like float there. The only light is like the one green light so you know like where the button is if you're like in sos mode but it's supposed to release like toxins like because your body is kind of just letting itself go in a sense. I felt like high or like lighter. It felt really weird afterwards. It was not like it's not an experience I want to do again.

Lexi: Yeah I mean these women did not like it and Jackie did not pass the test. 13 pilots did pass. So they had 20 female pilots to start, 13 passed, 7 were not selected, Jackie being one. 

Haley: How pissed was she?

Lexi: There are there are like- There is evidence to suggest that she like screamed and flipped out. There like first hand accounts from other female pilots who were there that like she was like cursing out the doctor but he told her she had underlying heart conditions that she didn't know she had and that she should probably stop flying all together which is like you don't tell someone that when that's their life you know. So they called these pilots that Mercury 13 and they were going to be- stop being pilots and become astronauts. So most of these women, they quit their jobs they told their families I'm heading out. They were going to move to Florida where the training base for astronauts was at the time and this at this point NASA not yet- it was like not yet completely in charge. The Air Force is actually doing most of the astronaut training and then later it would go under NASA does not make sense so the Air Force was highly involved in this so these women were going to go to where the Air Force's training astronauts. A week before they were supposed to leave, the program was canceled and the women were told not to report for training. And the 13 women never made it to space. There are cute little pictures of them as old ladies from like 20 years ago where they're like we almost when into space.Uwu. And it's so sad because these women were supposed to be the first woman in space. So Jackie spent the rest of her life advocating her belief that women were fit for space and that women made sense as astronauts. Unfortunately, Jackie passed away in August 1980, which is a little less than 3 years before Sally Ride was sent into space, so she never saw a woman go to space. Even though that was like her life, life dream.

Alana: She just seems really cool. I like her. That was a good story. 

Lexi: You can find this podcast on Twitter, Instagram, and Patreon at LadyHistoryPod. Our show notes and a transcript of this episode will be on ladyhistorypod dot tumblr dot com. If you like the show, leave us a review, or tell your friends, and if you don't like the show, keep it to yourself.

Alana: Our logo is by Alexia Ibarra you can find her on Twitter and Instagram at LexiBDraws. Our theme music is by me, GarageBand, and Amelia Earhart. Lexi is doing the editing. You will not see us, and we will not see you, but you will hear us, next time, on Lady History.

[OUTRO MUSIC]

Haley: Next week on Lady History, we're having our own version of Shark Week, with ladies who've done some things in marine biology.

[sepdet]

Star Trek Discovery: ep 2

Okay, I absolutely adored the premiere, which I liveblogged Sunday night. But I’ve been feeling rotten and groggy and didn’t watch episode 2 until tonight. 

I’m kind of glad I waited.

I’m transcribing remarks I made to a friend in a private chatroom while watching, and then I’ve added some thoughts afterwards.

SPOILERS.

Ep 2.

Raw remarks transcribed from private chat while watching (slightly edited)

So, our cliffhanger ended with Michael committing mutiny trying to save them, her captain betrayed and pointing a gun at her, and a whole Klingon fleet warping in like several buckets of shit flying towards a fan.

I’m still trying to get used to Sarek being nicer to a human trying to Vulcan than he was to a son whom he practically disowned for leaving Vulcan to join Starfleet. But I love Sarek so will try to muffle the "buts." I want Amanda to show up.

Parting word to Michael: "Behave." On the bright side, seems like it took her seven years before she LOL NOPED.

I hope the Klingon fans are happy. This is a very ponderous language to listen to when it's whole scenes of dialog and not just quick commands or insults. But I know there's a whole branch of fans who embrace Klingon culture and language, and I hope they're as thrilled as I was to hear Sindarin Elvish spoken.  (And that they're not too perturbed that the Klingon look has mutated again.)

Oh SHIT. I know the Captain was trying to defuse situation with diplomacy, but did they not have their shields up? Or was this just an old ship and/or Klingons managed to puncture shields. Ouch ouch ouch.

Wow, Michael is not having a good day. Waking up in remains of brig with failing containment fields around her — whole sequence is impressive and sad.

I like the way they're employing FX in service to story. It's hard not to let CGI overwhelm. But here, no matter how spectacular FX are, they're functional, rather than an end to themselves: like incidental music the Big FX moments help set mood/tone and give audience catch breath to process what just happened. As opposed to only using FX to foster one mood, maximum adrenaline, and keep audience off-balance so they have no time to catch breath and reflect on situation.

Intense telepathic scene with Sarek. Man he really likes this kid. He is one crazy ass Vulcan, even if he won't admit it: sharing a katra with a near stranger, especially a human child, is pretty drastic. (Also I'm confused: thought he adopted her after parents died in attack, but it looks like Michael was already his ward during attack?

ARGH.

Sarek: "I did not come here to judge your actions. I came here to—"

*Pumpkin, who likes to snooze on desk next to keyboard and occasionally use it as pillow at inconvenient moments, carefully and deliberately stretches out paw and plants it over ESC key, backing up browser window to several URLs ago, losing livestream.*

Cats. Such exquisite timing.

Back online.

Okay yes [STC sounded slightly noncommittal when I was enthusing about restraint of FX] now they're getting a little show-offy. But yikes. First time I've ever seen a space battle using classical Greek naval warfare maneuver. Trireme beak-ram!

...although it could be coincidence, and I'm reading it that way because of my classical studies background. They might've come up with that unusual and dramatic visual independently. At any rate, impressive.

OOOOO. Just hit scene where Captain, out of options, sees Klingons beaming up their dead, and she sees option.  I've been kind of waiting for her to be proactive instead of reactive. Earlier her hands were tied by trying to avoid conflict (following orders).

...DAMMIT. Just Googled to find out spelling of Phillipa's last name and saw the kind of spoiler I really hate to see. Stupid, stupid me.  I really honestly didn't know, since I had been so strenuously avoiding behind-the-scenes stuff. 

—

[At this point I stopped babbling in the chatroom to watch final scenes, so rest is post-watch thoughts.]

At least we have one great sequence between Burnham and Captain Georgiou, although the lull to confront one another and devise a strategy was a little forced— Klingons being very polite about not finishing them off. And YES, YES YES, finally seeing Michelle Yeoh fighting, which believe it or not I never have. (I don't watch many films or really much media.) 

:( Ouch. So close. Just a second or two longer.

So that's that. Man, that's gotta be a record even for Trek; can't even get through two eps without ship's destruction and crew evacuation. (Mom and I used to get annoyed at destroying Enterprise for shock value; first time was so dramatic and meaningful, whereas repeat felt gimmicky.) 

Not sure Michael's Expository Speech is did her any favors at this trial, but at least now we hear what she thinks.

Teaser for next episode (or "real" Discovery show) follows. Kinda confusing that they're convicts but on a Federation ship? Or did she get transferred from prison?

I am still mourning the captain and really not in the mood to parse the trailer. DAMMIT DAMMIT DAMMIT. I was wary of this show, but after watching Ep 1 I let my guard down and was SO EXCITED.

I had seen one article about this series last spring showing what looked like a predominantly white-dude bridge with generic-looking white male captain and a few tokens, just like TOS. That had dampened my enthusiasm for this show and prevented me from getting into it or looking forward to it.

But recently I saw posts saying, "Yo, WOC captain and first officer!" (or rather, in Tumblr's usual WE MUST MAKE YOU FEEL GUILTY FOR NOT SUPPORTING THIS THING YOU WEREN’T AWARE OF, SHAME ON YOU!!! way, there was a post berating Tumblr for lack of photosets and buzz and excitement over Michelle Yeoh and Sonequa Martin-Green, and why weren't we getting behind WOCs when we'd been all excited for Gal Gadot?) And I thought, Wait—what?! I thought this was going to be generic white dude captain with token black female first officer which is okay but not ANYTHING LIKE as cool as what you're saying?

And since I do try to avoid spoilers and PR I didn't know Yeoh wasn't going to be the regular series captain. Or rather, I was confused why the hype I was seeing now differed so drastically from that one article I’d started to skim and then closed thinking, “Nah, I’m going to avoid spoilers.” Had the showrunners changed their minds and decided to bring in Michelle Yeoh as an upgrade after seeing their version of Captain Pike wasn’t good enough to anchor a series?I was just going to wait and see.

I forgot any doubts when Episode 1 gave me EXACTLY WHAT I WANTED: Two great female characters with a friendship and professional working relationship. Banter. Excellence. Skills and wits. Clunky TOS tech and new shiny bridge set. Smart captain. Brave first officer. With two WOC they couldn't be tokens; they had to be expanded as just... 3 dimensional characters.

I was so here for that. I loved that whole opening minisode, and also the Captain sending Michael off to play in a brief voyage of discovery and enjoying that her first officer was enjoying herself.

Their friendship was perfect, legendary Kirk and Spock material. It was distracting me from the other bridge crew— even Saru, who is an interesting character, but I was focused so much on these two women— but I figured other characters would get filled out in subsequent episodes.

And now?

"Here. Here's what you really wanted. Two women being superbly competent officers with a meaningful friendship, leading a show just the way Kirk and Spock did. And it's going to be about discovery and an older woman mentoring another one, and tackling difficult ethical problems without providing easy answers and— PSYCHE! 

“...FOOLED YOU! Two leading women in a Kirk-Spock dynamic? Oh, we could never do that. So we're killing off your already-favorite character. As consolation prize, here, have an incarcerated and demoralized WOC who has to be 'grateful' to a white dude for letting her out of jail. Power imbalance between her and captain, no close friendship, and oh yeah, instead of voyage-of-discovery and complicated-ethical-problems Star Trek, it's going to be various people being macho and angry, and a depressing Federation-Klingon War."

 I hope I'm wrong.

It feels like they gave me everything I'd hoped for and more, and then, once I'd let my guard down, they took it away. I'm left with a character and actor (Sonequa Martin-Green) I like enough that I'm going to watch anyway...for now. But I'm back to being wary. And here we have yet another WOC/minority being killed to make way for generic white dude. So now I'm disillusioned and won’t trust this show, and we're only at the end of ep 2.

Okay, yeah, I'm pissed. 

Discovery could redeem itself and turn out to be fantastic. There is a lot of potential here and a lot to like. Saru and Burnham are good characters, and I assume some of the others will be too. But they're going to have to pull off a miracle now to keep me from fantasizing about the better show that COULD HAVE BEEN.

ETA: so maybe I should have read the behind-the-scenes stuff beforehand so I’d be prepared for this premiere to be backstory, in effect. I guess everyone else knew her death was coming, and could appreciate the drama while anticipating this would be a tragedy. Either I’m naive, or too groggy/tired to pick up the Obi-Wan vibes.

[timemachineliveblogs]

Wynonna Earp Episode 2: Part 1

Previously on Wynonna Earp! Demons! 

0:34 - Okay, so I don’t want to google it, but how is Agent Hotstuff’s name spelled? Dahl? Dawl? Doll? I mean he is a doll, so...

0:40 - There are a lot of blondes in this bar. Like, all with long blonde hair. 

1:31 - I got a flashlight stun gun in my stocking for Christmas (my parents are... prepared), and made this exact same mistake when messing with it for the first time, except I shone the bright light in my OWN face. 

At least I didn’t stun myself. 

1:50 - God, his exasperation is so attractive. 

02:17 - GAH HIS TEETH

hhhhhhnnngggg I know it’s a choice that lots of people intentionally make but it makes me squirm to look at it eeuuuuuuuggghhhh

02:27 - was that really necessary. also why has no one else in the club noticed this cannibal among them

02:35 -  Well they noticed the gun at least. 

03:00 - Is she not going to get in trouble for shooting a guy in plain view of everyone? I mean, they don’t know he’s a revenantdemon. Or does her badge give her an out? 

03:15 - There are gunshots and screaming how are these people still standing around flirting. Run, you dumbasses!

03:50 - Haha, she would hate pink. That’s such a good character note for her. 

03:53 - “And you owe me dinner” - can I set sail on this ship yet, or

04:21 - guy in the warehouse gonna die

04:40 - said so

05:44 - ha, “rules have changed a lot since your day”, I love Hold ‘Em. It’s the most fun Poker there is. 

06:00 - Okay the rules have changed but they’re still gambling with coins? Those aren’t even chips. This is a very low stakes games or those are very old coins. 

07:40 - I’ve been forgetting to liveblog this whole exchange because I’m too charmed by these two. 

08:00 - “Normal dudes carry baby pictures in their wallet.” Do they? Who have you been hanging out with, Wynonna? I feel like they damaged your metric for normal. 

08:00 - Before continuing, though, I do think this is the most fun I’ve had in a long time with the “government studying the paranormal” threat? Like, usually it’s not the greatest storyline. It didn’t work in Buffy (the season four arc was not great). They’re doing it right now in The Librarians and it’s pretty meh. Usually it just feels... like a break in genre?

Like it makes sense. If things were going on as frequently as they do in these universes then of course the government would notice and try to step in. But it always feels ill-thought-out, or like it belongs in some other story. Either the government is bumbling and meddling in things they don’t understand or they’re power-grabbing (which, like, both observations aren’t wrong, they just don’t feel very complete). But in this we have this government guy and he has sense and wants to do things right and understand the rules. And the government knows enough at least to know they don’t know what they’re dealing with. And the threat the government presents to the layperson (who is now unwillingly recruited by the government) is real and upfront (they blew up a whole town to prevent this kind of thing). 

And it doesn’t feel TOO ridiculous or over-the-top. It feels like, yeah, they made a tactical choice that made sense. IDK. Maybe it’s just this here feels cleaner because it doesn’t feel like they set out to include this specifically to make commentary. Or out of obligation because they felt like at this point in the story they had to. Anyway. I like that the government and secret magic demons are well woven together in this story from the start. 

And I think that’s enough for this post. Time to start post 2! 

[ecotone99]

[HM] The Pranav Project

The Pranav Project

3-26-2020

2,060 words

A boy inadvertently destroys the nation his project is on in an effort to cheat on his model UN project.

____________________________________________________________________________________________

Derek Johnson, 12, sits in the back of his social studies class, Ms. Schwartz is about to pass out the assignments for the model UN project, due Friday. It's sort of a big deal, each of the students has a country assigned, they get up in the auditorium and discuss the history, the present, and the future of their country. The school welcomes representatives from the community and asks questions as if they are from the press. In reality, it is just the school’s way of demonstrating how great they are. Little do they realize, most of us couldn't find land on a map.

The good ones are taken right off the bat, the United States, China, France, and Canada. Jason has Canada; everyone wanted Canada; I think it's the poutine.

"Derek, you're going to do your model UN presentation about Pranav nation," says Ms. Schwartz with total enthusiasm.

"What?!" Derek says as he looks up the tiny country in Google, it's just south of the Arctic Circle.

"You get what you get, and you don't get upset," Ms. Sanchez says with a grin. Ms. Sanchez has had it out for Derek since he saw her purchasing infant diapers at the supermarket, but he had the brand name wrong when he told his friends and unintentionally shared the story that she was wearing adult diapers. A lesson learned about social media influence and spreading rumors.

Derek's friend, Marco got France for his country, all he's got to do is talk about the Louvre, and throw out a couple of croissants to get an A. After school, Derek and Marco go to the library, "What do you think about your country?" Marco asks.

"Oh, you mean Pranav, where mail-ordered brides are the biggest export, well, it's going to be a piece of cake," Derek says sarcastically.

"Type Model UN project and your country into Google just like I've done, go to like the 44th-page of results, and you'll see all kinds of sample projects," Marco explained. Derek thought it seemed like an excellent idea. He typed "Model UN Project, Pranav," into the search engine. Eventually, there was a link to "The Pranav Project" on the 96th page of results in his search. Derek clicked on it and opened a PDF, just text and no photos.

"The last thing I needed to do was to cheat on this project, with actual work," Derek says. He scrolls to the end of the PDF, and there's a button, "Message Boards," he clicked on it, which prompted him for an email and a pin.

"What is this, they want me to put in an email and a pin, have you ever seen that?" asks Derek.

"Yeah, often to get in, you have to create an account, just make up a password; I used my birthday," Marco said. Derek typed in his, February 13th, 2008, but he used numbers, "02132008." It just let him in.

The display is nothing but a message board, Derek clicked on to compose, thinking this was his only hope at getting an A on this project.

"Hi, this is Derek Johnson. I want details about your Pranav Project. I hate that they have us do this stupid stuff from the United Nations. Anyway, thank you."

He hits to post, logs out and heads home.

Meanwhile, United Kingdom military officers, Digby Burnett and Kane Bryant, are in a remote monitoring station in the center of the Arctic.

"Oh, tonight is a cold one," says Digby.

"Taking an assignment in the center of the Arctic, he says, I have dropped 10 pounds because of excessive shivering," Kane responds.

"Well, without the cold, you can't appreciate the warmth," says Digby.

"It's hard for me to appreciate your face without my fist in it," Kane replies as the computer dings. Digby and Kane look on the computer, confused at the illuminated message.

"A message, we've been here for two months, and all I've heard is you chewing with your mouth open," says Kane.

"I told you, I've got a condition, give it up. Geesh, in two months, we get our first message, and you're here thinking about my elongated molars," Digby says. They open the message, which is the post that Derek Johnson has made. In the U.K. army, though, there is also a four-star general named Derrick Johnson, but they don't note the distinction in spelling.

"General Johnson, he was the head of the Special forces Division until he left," Digby says.

"Oh, hang on, he used some crazy personal email," Kane points to the screen, "homeyderick369xx@gmail.com." "Okay, but look, that's his pin," 02132008, "you know, these days email usernames are hard to find, I had to attach four zeros before I found the one I needed," Digby attempts to explain.

"He wants to know about the Pranav Project, I think you're right, he must be the General, because the stupid UN comment, General Johnson famously hates the UN," says Kane.

"Alright, this is huge, I told you the action was up in the Arctic, write back to him and tell him we're waiting for his instructions," says Digby.

"Okay, so I'm going to ask him if he needs us to check in with superiors," says Kane as he records.

"That's fine, he should appreciate us looking to follow orders," Digby says.

"Okay, this assignment might be more exciting than we anticipated, I'll go get snacks, you watch the ice," says Kane.

Derek and Marco are once again at the library, Derek opens the portal for the Pranav project and sees Digby and Kane's message.

"Waiting for me? What do they mean by that?" Derek asks.

"They're always trying to give you the run-around, remind them that it's due Friday, let them think that you really need it," says Marco, as Derrick types.

"Oh yeah, they also mentioned superiors, will they tell the principal I'm trying to cheat on the UN project?" asks Derek.

“I don’t think so, just make sure they know who’s boss,” Marco says.

"Oh my goodness, get down here," Digby says as Kane enters the room, Digby gestures to the computer, "The Pranav project is a go, it needs to be done by Friday, and we are taking direct orders from General Johnson himself," Digby says as he reiterates the message.

"Okay, let's take this one phase at a time, the Pranav project is a two-stage plan, the first is to prove that Pranav is transporting chemical weapons through its ports," says Kane.

"Should we reply?" Digby asks.

"Nah, I know how these generals operate, they don't want anything until you have something positive to share," Kane says.

"Alright, we actually have some action, Diggy and Kane come off the bench," Digby says happily.

Five cargo ships are searched as they travel into the port the following day, nothing, not even an expired bag of potato chips. They're not having any success on the sixth and final ship, Digby needs to use the bathroom, so he makes his way to the men's room, while there he sees one of the mirrors sticking out of the wall, only a little bit. He wiggles his fingers behind the mirror and there are aerosol cans that contain chemical weapons. Digby immediately makes his way out into the corridor to get Kane,

"Come in here; I've got to show you something," Digby says.

" There is nothing you did in the men's bathroom that I would need to see," Kane says.

" That was one time, come on, this is real," Digby insists. Kane follows and is delighted by the chemical weapons; they've done it,

"I hope their smelting those medal of honors for us," Kane says.

"Do they smelt a medal?" Digby asks.

"I don't know, maybe a mold?" asks Kane as they walk off the boat.

They see the president making a speech at the docks as they came off the ship. He keeps a golden microphone right next to his mouth when he talks; they can hardly tell what he is saying. As the president departs from the platform, he moves to meet the ship's captain, Digby sees the captain carrying one of the chemical aerosol weapons.

"He'll kill the President, we've got to stop him," Digby says as they start sprinting for the president. The president takes the aerosol and plays with it as the Captian laughs. They realize he's in on it. Not only is he in on it, but he's running the whole operation.

Digby and Kane head to the station and report to General Johnson about what they find.

"The second aspect of this initiative is the killing of the guy responsible for importing chemical weapons, do you suppose he knows it's the country's president?" Kane asks.

"Certainly not, let's make sure that's included in the message," says Kane while Digby types.

After school, Derek and Marco are back at the library.

"Awesome news for my report, they've given me a lot of stuff, corruption, chemical weapons, that's what I'm talking about, keep it coming," Derek says as he reads.

He emails back a question about the presentation, "I created a PowerPoint, but if you think it's better to remove the PowerPoint and only talk, let me know." When Digby and Kane examined the message, they begin reading between the lines, "Delete the PowerPoint, it's in code; he’s asking us to proceed with the Pranav project, to remove the power," says Digby.

"Yeah, just talk, do you suppose he's referring to the Presidential speech on Independence Day given Friday morning?" asks Kane.

"There's basically no other way to interpret this message, I can't believe we're doing it, an assassination on my resume would look so amazing," Digby says.

It's Friday morning, Digby and Kane get ready to assassinate the president, they've spent a lot of time finding a smart way to kill the president without being captured. They found that whenever the president makes a speech, that he keeps the microphone really close to his lips, they've poisoned the top of his golden microphone, as long as the microphone gets a couple of inches from his mouth, he's going to be dead in an hour.

Digby and Kane watch from a high-rise. The president is about to speak; they pull out the case with the golden microphone inside, the case opens, the president is going to take his symbolic golden microphone, then he stops, he motions for his assistant to close the case.

"My voice hurts, I'm going to skip my address today, so happy Independence Day," the president states. With that, he begins walking off stage, Digby and Kane fear, a case of laryngitis has foiled their one chance to assassinate the president. Kane takes out his gun, "Today, we don't give back those medals, Diggy," Kane says as he fires on the president, but the shot is high, the president makes it to his motorcade, and Digby and Kane flee the scene.

Meanwhile, Derek was about to give his Pranav introduction. He would, of course, follow Jason, who had Canada, almost impossible to follow. Derek tells the valiant tale, just like Digby and Kane set it out in their email exchanges, it sounds like a spy thriller like from the latest James Bond movie. At the end of the presentation, Derek receives his first question from someone in the back, "You won't believe this, I searched my phone to see if all of this stuff was real, and this morning there was an assassination attempt on Pranav's president, he and his entourage left the country, Pranav's nation no longer exists!”

“After all that effort, you're kidding me, the nation just doesn't exist anymore," Derek says, disappointed.

"I don't know what to say, if the country doesn't exist, you're going to have to do the presentation again with a new country," Ms. Sanchez informs Derek.

"Come on; the country will just change its name, what's the big deal if it's a different name," Derek asks,

"I don't know, Derek; I wonder what can happen if you get the name of something wrong?" Ms. Sanchez says as she writes Derek's F in her grade book.

submitted by /u/patrickryan182 [link] [comments] via Blogger https://ift.tt/2Je1FyT

[anidealistatbestburntoutatworst]

dazai: “should we do it?! should we do it this one time…. let’s be bad- we can be bad this one time right?”

chuuya: “dazai we’re ordering fries.”

[anidealistatbestburntoutatworst]

asheiji and the time they went to cape cod + garden song by phoebe bridgers = me crying on the floor thinking of them