#i’ve been meaning to draw something of them that wasn’t like. bad
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fake screencaps ft. a slight redesign of the first oc’s i uploaded to this blog
original caps I traced (taken from a random YouTube review because i couldn’t find a clip of this scene):


#my art#powerpuff girls#powerpunk girls#ppg oc#ppg#i’ve been meaning to draw something of them that wasn’t like. bad#i can barely look at the original pic in my notifs i dislike it. SO much#my cringe ass babies#brat plutonium#berserk plutonium#brute plutonium#bravo momo#blitz momo#buzz momo
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Something I would like to point out while rewatching HTTYD2 that I think is very interesting and also not at all talked about is this.
HTTYD2 brings lots and I mean LOTS of parallels whether they are visual or spoken but the one I hear spoken about the most is between Hiccup and Valka and them not killing a dragon. Even the movie tries to make this seem like a parallel. They bring it up even!
“Ehh it runs in the family.” Hiccup says after the flashback scene.
But something I noticed is that it is not a parallel. Mainly because of a few key things. It’s more almost perpendicular. They head in the same direction and they have the same realization, then go in complete opposite directions.
Valka runs away. A key part of her character I’ve noticed while I’ve been writing my analysis of her is that she oozes of cowardice and willful ignorance. Now that doesn’t mean she’s a bad person, it simply means that she ran away and chose to stay away. But that’s not the main reason I brought this up.
Remember the flashback where they draw attention to how similar Hiccup and Valka are? They talk about it in a very specific way.
They bring attention to two points. Both of them looked into a dragons eye and saw themself. Then they both didn’t kill a dragon. They show this as some kind of parallel. Maybe to show that Hiccup has someone who understands him, maybe to add a bit of layering to the first movie and how he’s just like her.
But it’s not a parallel.


What’s the difference in this scene?
One dragon is tied up.
One isn’t.
It’s a matter of choice.
“You and your father nearly died that night. All because I couldn’t kill a dragon.” Quote Valka.
“300 years and I’m the first Viking who wouldn’t kill a dragon.” Quote Hiccup.
Hiccups statement STILL rings true. Valka had no choice in if she wanted to kill Cloudjumper or not. That’s why I brought up Valka’s cowardice. Valka was in a trapped house with an injured newborn and an unbound dragon 5x her size. She was in the middle of a raid with people all around. Stoick was around the corner. She simply couldn’t kill the dragon. It wasn’t a matter of would or wouldn’t.
Hiccup on the other hand was alone in a forest with a tied up dragon. He made the decision to not kill Toothless. He wouldn’t. Because he absolutely could have killed Toothless.

“I was a coward. I was weak. I wouldn’t kill a dragon.”
“You said wouldn’t that time.”
This scene (in my own opinion) is meant to show that Hiccup was never the hiccup. He was never a coward. He wasn’t weak. It’s meant to be ironic.
Hiccup let go one of the most dangerous dragons in the world and it was brave. He went against his culture, his tribe because he thought it was the right thing to do.
That’s where Valka and Hiccups story become perpendicular. Hiccup was brave. Valka was a coward.
Hiccup chose not to run away. He chose to change their minds. He thought their minds could change.
Valka ran away. She didn’t listen and didn’t think change was possible. She held this belief until Hiccup comes along.
Valka’s path is where she believes that dragons are more than they seem. Then, “This wasn’t a viscous beast, but an intelligent gentle creature whose soul, reflected my own.” She has the revelation. Then she runs away and stays away. Now she had her own reasons and I am very much phrasing this in a biased way but it’s meant to show a point. She stays away and doesn’t change much. Because she couldn’t kill a dragon.
Hiccups path is where he does not see much to dragons. He wants to kill one to be accepted into the village. He shoots down Toothless and- “Everything we know about you guys, is wrong.” Or- “I looked at him and saw myself.” Hiccup and Valka’s paths cross here. But Hiccup doesn’t run away and he changes Berk’s mind. Because he wouldn’t kill a dragon.
Anyways I think that’s about it for that topic and I think it should be discussed more! Because if you really think about it, there are almost no parallels in Valka and Hiccup. And if there are, it isn’t well executed enough that it leaves a strong impact. I definitely will talk about this more but it’s late and I crave sleep.
#hiccup haddock#how to train your dragon#httyd#httyd fandom#toothless#analysis#httyd hiccup#httyd valka#valka haddock#cloudjumper#character analysis#media analysis
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hi could i rq. general konoha 11 + sand siblings nsfw hcs ! (aged up/boruto ver obv) <3
Also: nobody understands Uchihas better than I do and I don’t even like most of em. /j Why are they all practically evil in fics? I’m going crazy. Most of them are clearly softies when it comes to love. Am I right or am I right???
And sorry, you can tell who I have more ideas for and who I was drawing a blank on.
Oh and sorry yall for the gap in my writing. This one took a while. I’ve been working on it for a bit. And part of it got lost and deleted, so I rewrote it. A long with a couple other stories got deleted and I lost some motivation for a moment lol
Konoha 13 + Sand Siblings HCs
Naruto Uzumaki
He’s energetic, and that 100% applies to in bed too.
Likely inexperienced, but eager. And a little nervous.
Talked big game beforehand, but even if you didn’t know before, you definitely know it was all talk now.
That being said, he’s a quick learner, even if he complains about being confused at first.
I think he’d have like little to no knowledge though, being such a loner for a while, in all. Hope you have patience.
That being said, he is a bit of a pervert with what he does know.
Overall though, he’d set a fast pace, but the sex would still be intimate and soft.
Praise. Praise. Praise. Giving and receiving.
Sasuke Uchiha
No experience, but he knows the ins and outs.
He wasn’t too concerned with sex or anything of that matter before, but when he returned to Konoha, he realized he had feelings for you. So he starts to think about it.
He’s not a pervert like Kakashi or Naruto, and he’d never lose his cool over sexy jutsu, BUTTT he’s secretly horny as hell. Like low sex drive usually, but just being around you makes it sky rocket to abnormal levels.
He’s very private about sex though, so usually only happens in your bedroom or… cough cough in a quiet forest with nobody around cough cough (if you know, you know)
He’s got a breeding kink. Next question.
Uses a mix of degradation and praises.
Lots of demanding, but also lots of giving soooo…
I truly believe Sasuke would be a softer partner than people make him out to be. Like did yall watch Boruto or not?? He’s got awkward and sweet energy. He’s TRYING. He’s emotionally stunted yall.
More dominant and likes to be in control, but will fall apart in your arms anyways. Usually more of a soft dom than anything.
One of the most likely to be fairly kinky though. I think he’d slowly discover he’s into things as they occur or cross his mind.
Sakura Haruno
She knows a lot about the human body.
Might have experience, might not. I could see it either way.
I think your first time with her would happen after like a romantic dinner together. And it would be romantic and slow.
But… that depends on you, because she’ll mostly go with what you want. It makes her happy.
She’s okay with being degraded or praised, but she really only likes to praise you.
Low sex drive.
She likes any position she can see your face.
She’s a switch, depends on her partner’s preference.
Sai Yamanaka
(Obviously not married here but just to have a last name to add)
He read a book about what to do.
Probably does something incredibly stupid at first, but that being said, he’s not an idiot, so not too bad.
You’d probably have to correct him a little bit. Also, tell him to forget the book and just go with the feeling and follow your lead.
You’d be in the lead at first. Probably go down on him first thing.
He’s not small. (I mean did you hear the way he talked to Naruto? He’s probably got something to work with if he’s talking so confidently LMFAO)
So you’d probably have to use your hand for the base while your mouth sucks on about half or so of his cock.
His hand tangles in your hair/rests on top, not pulling, but resting there.
He throws his head back, letting out soft sighs and small moans that escape his lips. He’s not trying to be quiet, but he’s not loud either.
Although, he might have read girls don’t like when guys make noise. Who knows. Then you might have to tell him that’s not true.
At first, sex is just discovering things with him. You’re both exploring how everything feels.
But, after a few times, he starts taking the lead and initiating.
He has a low sex drive though, so he won’t initiate too often.
It’s also hard to get him to realize what you’re asking for if you drop hints. He saw your underwear when you bent over… okay. He might even comment on how you should be more careful since he knows you don’t like to expose yourself so much.
You just deadpan and tell him it was supposed to turn him on.
“Oh.” And now he’s unbuckling his pants and asking you to come sit on his lap. :)
Shikamaru Nara
Low sex drive, usually at least, because now he’s consumed by the desire to be rode by you. Like he dreams about it.
He calls you troublesome to himself when he wakes up hard in the morning occasionally.
He lowkey loves to just lay between your legs or have you sit on his face so he can eat you out (pussy or ass, don’t matter)
Lazy morning sex. He loves it.
He’s dominant, but he can be rather lazy most the time. That being said, he will fuck you how you want him to if you ask.
Degrading but he’s not super mean about it at all. More like soft grunts with degrading terms, but the rest of it comes out more like soft sighs and groans of pleasure and praise.
Choji Akimichi
The sweetest. He takes his time with you every time.
Body worship. More so giving than receiving, but he’ll be a blushing mess if you give back the same energy.
Praise. Lots of it.
He’d be the type to kiss down your body, from your lips to your neck to your chest all the way down til he gets between your legs.
He can’t bring himself to be rough or harsh with you in anyway. No degradation, rough sex, or anything.
Likes to be able to see your face during sex.
He’d like to try food play.
Ino Yamanaka
Pillow princess unless asked to do otherwise.
She loves to be praised and worshipped, but also likes things rougher.
She’s a bit of a brat about things. Constantly going against what you say for fun.
She does it on purpose so you’ll go rougher on her, she likes it.
She also likes when things are slow and romantic though.
And she’d love it if you planned like a candlelit dinner and put a trail of rose petals on like Valentine’s Day, or even just cuz.
Shino Aburame
He’s in charge. He’s on top. Whatever. He doesn’t like to not have control.
He also just wants to please you, and often he’s not too worried about himself.
Might get a little self conscious if you skip over touching him or giving him head more than once. Like if it’s been a few times now and you haven’t bothered… did he do something?
He doesn’t need it, but he just… you know how he is.
He doesn’t make much noise.
But I do believe that right before he cums, he whimpers. He can’t help it, and don’t bring it up afterwards. He’ll be so embarrassed and not want to do it for a while because he’s scared he’ll do it again.
If he gets like that, just tell him you loved it. Then go down on him and tell him you wanna make him do it again.
He’s good with his hands, I just know it.
He can go rough and be stern and demanding, but other than that, he’s rather vanilla.
He’s a big fan of missionary so he can see your face.
And he doesn’t want to do anything unless it’s in your own home or absolute private, like an inn.
Kiba Inuzuka
Hickeys.
He loves giving them.
You will have like 20. From your jaw to your thighs, he’s marked. Plenty of them are visible and hard to hide because they’re dark.
He doesn’t exactly take his time. No, those hickeys are from the entire act. He starts leaving them during foreplay, then when he’s pounding into you, he quiets himself down by latching onto your skin.
When he eats you out, he leaves bite marks and hickeys around your thighs.
He calls it “marking his territory” then has to explain himself because no he doesn’t mean you’re a territory, you’re not a place or an object… he just… you’re his partner!
He’s rough.
Likes doggystyle most, but then he gets upset that he can’t see your face and next time he sets up a mirror.
Quickies. He can’t wait. He’ll whine if you tell him NO he can’t fuck you under the blanket, because YES people will notice the movement.
You might want to settle and pull him into a bathroom and let him fuck you over the counter, but he won’t force or beg you to the point of you giving in or anything. He’ll wait if you really mean no.
He’s got a high sex drive
Very likely to be pretty kinky. He’d be willing to tie you up, spank you, degrade you, etc.
He won’t do pet play. Thinks that shit is weird. So don’t think that because he’s a dog user, he’s gonna act dog like or have you act dog like. In fact, he’s more likely to hate it as a dog user.
I think he’d find any roleplay to be useless though. You could convince him if you wanted, but he’ll complain.
Hinata Hyuga
Much more intimate and gentle sex is what she wants
She’s not a pillow princess. She literally fantasizes about pleasing her partner.
Like probably day dreams, gets lost in her own thoughts, then is a blushing mess when she realizes that somebody is talking to her and she’s imagining what your moans would sound like when she’s between your legs, ESPECIALLY if the person talking to her is you.
She likes to do it in private, but she can’t deny that she imagines doing it where you both currently are. Not that she would.
Secretly has a high sex drive
Long refractory period though. She needs breaks between rounds.
Neji Hyuga
Took him a while to get vulnerable enough to take off his clothes if he’s being honest
Also I think Hyuga’s are very reserved and conservative until marriage, but he has such a tough time following that.
He really wants to jump your bones. And it’s almost like the fact he can’t because of his clan’s reserved and traditional nature just makes it WAYYYY more tempting.
You’re literally irresistible to him
Secretly, he’s just a little bit of a pervert. (Like Rock Lee’s Ninja Pals says he is)
I think he would have wet dreams from sexual frustration. Like the longer he holds back from having you under him, the worse it gets. Like a disease with no treatment.
I think your first time with him would be sudden, and it would be his first time ever.
You’d look WAYYYYY to good, and this time he can’t bring himself to ignore the boner he gets. No he’s gotta see if you’ll indulge him.
He may stop and pull away, get his act together if you remind him of his clan’s pride, and how he was so bent on following it before.
Maybe the first time, but by the next time he tries to give in, there is no try. He is cancelling any plans y’all had and tearing the outfit that made your body look so irresistible off.
He doesn’t have a super high sex drive, but he has such a hard time resisting just laying you down when you look so damn good. You are the reason he’s horny.
He loves when you ride him, and he WILL whimper. He tries not to, but Neji can’t be silent with the way you are squeezing him. The way you do it is so perfect, every bounce is drawing a noise out of him until he’s literally just letting out a stream of loud whimpers as he cums.
I think his cum would actually taste good. Next question.
Rock Lee
Perverted…
He feels bad for it when he catches himself, but Oop it’s too late… he’s got a boner
Boners are obvious in that green spandex…
He wouldn’t agree with doing it in public or semi-public though, but if you noticed his behavior or boner and pulled him off into the bathroom, ignoring his “this is indecent!” Protests because when you look at him before diving in to give him head, his eyes are literally pleading and he shuts up, pushing his hips towards your face.
He can’t be quiet so you’ll have stuff something in his mouth or cover it with your hand.
He secretly wants your chest in his face. He’s a chest guy. Boobs, pecks, whatever. He loves everything chest.
But he also loves ass. Small or big. Wants to grab a handful anyways.
Total switch
Because listen, he loves to pin your hips down and force you to accept the pleasure you’re trying to deny yourself.
Loves to pound his hips against yours until you’re a mess, but he also loves to do as you say.
He loves to be broken down until he’s in pieces by your mouth, body, words, whatever.
He whimpers like constantly, especially when he’s submissive. He tries to shut up when he’s dirty talking as he’s in charge, but he lets GO otherwise.
Tenten
I’m sorry her portion of this will be… lacking. I don’t know enough to say much. I love her, but I’ve never really thought about this at all.
I think she’d be a switch, but prefers to be in charge.
I think she’s depend greatly on you though.
If you don’t want to bottom/sub, that’s good.
Or vise versa.
She likes to take her time when she’s in control.
She’s fairly willing to try new things if you want to.
She enjoys going down on you most of all.
Gaara of the Sand
He’s very private about everything. He believes that his private life and his kazekage life should stay relatively separate. However, it is known that you are his partner. That’s no secret.
He’s not super into PDA, so it’s no surprise that he refuses to do anything risky or public in anyway.
He will not do it in the kazekage’s office. He has too much respect for it, but he also doesn’t want to get caught anyways.
He’s very intimate during. Slow and sensual for sure.
I can see him being into bondage, but like you get tied up, not him. But… depends. And might take some encouragement.
Refuses to hurt or degrade you for any reason. He only does praise. He could not bring himself to call you names or anything. Or to draw blood from you or hit you, etc. he doesn’t see why those things should be brought into the bedroom for “fun.”
He doesn’t think they’re fun.
He knew like nothing about sex before you. I actually think he’d have no idea how to initiate at first so you definitely initiated it.
I think he’d be the type you have to teach what to do a bit, but he gets the hang of it quickly. Then next time, he’s got every spot memorized.
Awkward. Like the first couple times were awkward, but romantic and cute.
Kankuro of the Sand
One word: kinky.
He likes to degrade you with a shit eating grin on his face. His degradation feels like a compliment most of the time though. Like he calls you a slut and it feels like he’s calling you a prince/princess. It’s confusing.
He’s so good at dirty talk. He’ll have you writhing in your spot, desperate for him and he’s not even touched you yet.
He’s got incredible patience when it comes to you. He takes his time breaking you down into a mess for him.
His face paint would 10 billion percent be smeared across your thighs and chest. Your neck is purple from bites AND his face paint to the point you can’t tell which is which.
Only when you wash off the face paint do you realize he left way too many dark hickeys that’ll probably take at least a week to fade away.
Confront him about this and he’ll just laugh.
Don’t tempt him to leave more, because he will.
He forces you to maintain eye contact when he goes down on you. If you look away for more than like 3 seconds, he give you a little tap as a warning, but twice and he stops.
Orgasm denial for sure. He would be the type to make up an excuse as to why he pulled away. He tells you all sorts of excuses. “You weren’t moaning enough.” “You moved your hips too much. Stay still.” And of course, “you looked away.”
He can make you cum hard almost every single time. You see stars.
The most fun part for him isn’t dicking you down, it’s the breaking you apart and putting you back together again.
Temari of the Sand
Dominant. Dommy mommy for sure.
Even when she decides to “sub” or “bottom,” she’s not doing a good job at it. She’s still telling you what to do, where to move, etc.
She’ll pull your hair, slap you, etc. as long as you are okay with it and want her to.
Loves to boss you around, telling you what she wants. Demanding you to please her.
“Get on your knees”
Head pusher for sure, but you two have a like physical que to let each other know when it’s enough.
All that being said, sometimes she really really just wants sweet, slow sex. Intimate nights filled with nothing but love.
She likes to keep all of this private though. No public or risky stuff.
However, she does like to do it beyond just in bed.
Would be the type to start kissing all over your neck, unbuttoning your shirt while you’re trying to cook breakfast.
You might want to turn the stove off.
#naruto#naruto shippuden#naruto x reader#naruto shippuden x reader#naruto neji#naruto fic#naruto smut#naruto hcs#neji hyuuga x reader#Neji x reader#Gaara x reader#Kankuro x reader#Sasuke x reader#kiba x reader#kiba inuzuka#tenten x reader#Sakura x reader#Temari x reader#Temari#rock lee x reader#rock lee#Hinata x reader#Shikamaru x reader#Choji x reader#Shikamaru Nara x reader#Choji Akimichi x reader#shino aburame x reader#Shino x reader#Kankuro#Shino aburame
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moonlight serenade or the first time reader has sex with dallas winston...
okay first let’s get this out of the way, yes i’m a minor but everyone’s aged up in this fic so don’t come for me. please don’t comment trying to police what’s appropriate for me and what’s not i’m seventeen and where i live i can legally have sex so it’s really not that deep. i’m a young woman - i’m exploring my desires in a healthy safe way and if you cannot shake this livid rage coursing through you maybe try touching some grass. xxx
this fic absolutely could not have been written with out the help of @avroravia she not only proofread it but also edited it and just offered me constant encouragement and support. basically she is just an absolute angel and i implore you to go read her fics right after you finish this 😛 amar thank you and i luv u
warnings: bad writing? (baby’s first time writing smut), um smut obvs (you are responsible for your own media consumption), fem! reader, characters are aged up, reader is a virgin, kinda dom dallas ig tho this wasn’t planned it just happened that way, 2,690 words <3
there is something poetically erotic about dallas winston.
you have known this since the day first saw him: his eyes wild and dark, his grin crooked and breath smelling of whiskey. he is animalistic in his vigor, a power that simmers and hums through his body so that you might think he was the devil. it is beautiful in a twisted way and right now you are more aware of this than ever.
shadows are cast across his face, and he leans over you in nothing but his oil stained wifebeater and jeans. he's smiling down at you, tickling you with kisses along your neck. this is as far as you've gone and because of your lack of experience as far as you've wanted to go for a long time. but right now with his st christopher glinting and dangling down in front of your gaze all you can think about how much you want him. how much you want all of him from his calloused palms to his voice made raspy with cigarettes.
“i want you to fuck me”
it comes out before you can you can think it through, words unbidden and unwanted choking your throat up. your face flushes hot and you press your hand to your mouth as if you can put them back where they came from but it’s too much too late.
he laughs lowly, voice making your skin break out into goosebumps and his hand toys with the edge of your nightdress.
“you mean that angel? you want me to be your first doll?” he grins, teeth glinting vampire like in the low light.
if you weren’t flustered before you are now from his teasing tone and you hide your face in your hands which only makes him laugh more.
“oh baby don’t hide your pretty face from me” he says before gently pulling you hands away. you’re greeted with a more genuine smile then before and he fondly tucks a stand of hair behind you ear.
“if you really mean that - i’d be real lucky to be your first, seriously i know i talk a lot of shit but if you really are sure then i’m gonna make you feel so nice” as he speaks the rough pads of his fingers draw circles along your thighs in what you’re sure is supposed to be a soothing gesture but is actually incredibly distracting. to be fair though you find everything he does distracting.
he looks at you like he’s waiting for an answer so you nod and he shakes her head.
“nah, i wanna hear you say it,” he murmurs, “say it f’me”
“please dal...” you say, shocked by how breathy your voice has become but he groans softly and it makes something pleasant creep up your gut.
“please - christ - sweetest thing i’ve ever known ain’t you?” he says hands slowly making their ascent but to your disappointment they go right up to resting on your waist. seeing your pout he smirks.
“impatient thing too, i bet. you want me to take it off?” dallas whispered, fingers lightly tugging on the soft silk straps of your nightdress.
slowly he pulls it up off you and though you’re terribly shy laying there in nothing but your now wet cotton panties, his face makes up for it.
“christ you look so fuckin’ good” he rasps lowly, tongue darting out to hungrily trace his lip.
despite your nerves you lean forward slightly and lift his vest over his head. you’ve seen dallas shirtless before and so feel confident navigating it as you press a soft kiss to his jaw. a small offering of affection where words are difficult.
and he seems to understand as he guides your hands to the cool metal of his belt buckle, your trembling fingers unclasping it and brushing over him. he groans softly and so with confidence from who knows where you press more intentionally, gasping slightly at the way he bucks into you.
“tease” he grunts out, pupils dark with something you’ve only seen a couple times before and something that makes you press your legs together absentmindedly. pushing you hand away he finally pulls his jeans fully off and you stare desperately at your boyfriend in nothing but his boxers. beautiful feels an understatement, a word that is much too fragile to describe how he looks. in fact it feels like your whole brain is simply humming with him, anything else feels deeply unimportant.
you watch as his big hands, all of him is big really, settle on the inside of your thighs. making purchase on the skin there in such a way that you wonder if there will be marks, you hope there is. that you can take a part of him with you everywhere, a marker of what it is to be touched by such a man as dallas winston.
he idly thumbs at the small bow of your panties before slipping his hand beneath the soft fabric, tongue poking out of the corner of his mouth teasingly. the soft mewl you let out at his touch would be humiliating were it not for the way pleasure sparks through you as his fingers part your folds. you’ve touched yourself before sure but it has never felt like this, dallas’s fingers just so much bigger and experienced then yours. as if he knows what you need before you do.
“god you’re already so fuckin’ needy... soakin’ wet” his teasing voice drawls out but formulating a response is much too hard now his finger has found your clit and is drawing soft little teasing circles over it - both not enough and too much at once. he speeds up ever so slightly, smirking cockily at the soft gasp he draws from you. he’s lazy as he strokes you - as if he has all the time in the world and all he wants to do is watch your lashes flutter and feel the way you absentmindedly buck against hand.
the thing is though it’s not just the way his fingers know just what you do to make you feel good, though of course that is part of it but it’s just him as a whole. the way you’re completely sarrounded by him, his large frame dwarfing your smaller one, the smell of cigarettes and his shaving cream that seems to permeate the air, the praises that he almost reverently mumbles but mainly it’s the fact that it’s him. your dal - your first kiss, your first boyfriend, your first love and now your first..
you whine softly when he suddenly pulls his hand away, brows scrunched up but he simply shakes his head and licks his fingers clean before fully hiking your panties down your legs.
“taste like honey” he tells you, his warm brown eyes fluttering shut at the taste.
grinning all teeth, he thumbs at it watching the way your hole flutters and clenches around nothing, dribbling down onto your floral bedsheets below.
you blink up at him through hooded lashes, the way girls do in movies and hope it is enough to seduce him into touching you again. once again though he seems to understand what you need without you even speaking as he tentatively pushes the pad of his finger into you. the gasp you let out is sinful, even just the tiniest part of him making you feel more full than ever before. gently he nudges the finger further in, eyes zeroed on the way the tight hole sucks it in like a vice. once it’s fully in he begins, slowly at first - easing you through the rhythms as he fucks you. grunting lowly as if he’s getting pleasure just from the way your face scrunches up and body trembles.
“shit - think - think you can take another one baby” he asks is as if he’s not already pushing it in, making you feel impossibly full.
he’s faster now, clear goal in mind as he stretches and curls his fingers till he finds what he’s staring for. when he feels the way you clench around him and offer him a delicious moan he knows he has. with renewed vigour he rubs that spot inside you till it’s almost too much, your legs kicking out, hands almost trying to push him away.
“dal - oh - i” you’re babbling out softly as the sensations course through you, but he just hums encouragingly.
with his free hand that had been resting on your thigh he trails it down to you clit - rubbing it in quick, tight figure-8s whilst curling the ones inside of you against that spongey spot. without warning it suddenly happens, like a pot bubbling over as you tighten around his two fingers and spill out. lips keening out a high-pitched sound somewhere between a moan and a sob as your lashes shutter quickly. that earlier tension softening to the most wonderful feeling that has your body trembling and arching.
when you come to, eyes opening you’re greeted with brown eyes glancing over you. his gaze softer then you’ve ever seen it as he messily kisses you and mumbles against your mouth “did so good for me doll - can’t wait to feel you cum like that on my cock”
“need you now dal” you whisper back using your legs to pull him in closer - it’s not enough you want to be as close to him as possible.
following your encouragement he quickly rids himself of his boxers and finally he is fully bare before you. what strikes you about dallas is the lack of shyness, as if he knows that every part of him is harshly beautiful. grecian statue with his broad nose, lightly muscular chest and his now hardened cock. he holds out a condom and with his hands leading yours, you roll it onto his dick. tentatively wrapping your small hands around it and being rewarded with a gravelly moan. “next time baby” he says and you watch, entranced as he angles himself perfectly with his palms tightly gripping your hips.
“might hurt at first babydoll but it’s gonna feel real good pretty soon okay?” he warns, brows furrowed with the tension of waiting. you nod impatiently, grabbing onto shoulders as if you can push him in by them alone.
he laughs, classic crooked grin on his face. “god real greedy aren’t you?”
his smirk is knocked off his face when he slowly pushes in, groaning lowly at how tight you are still. he’s right, there’s a slight sting between your legs but you trust him that it will get nicer. his fingers seemed big earlier but now you know they were nothing compared to the way just the head of his makes you. ever so slowly he bullies his way into you, a bead of sweat clinging to his brow as he pushes all the way. when he’s finally full sheaved, you whimper - the feeling indescribable and like nothing you’ve ever known.
“gonna... gonna... fuck... move now okay pretty girl?” he rasps out, pressing his forehead to yours. you can do nothing but nod, as your breath is stolen from you.
purposefully he begins to move, rocking in and out of you and the sting has faded now, replaced by white hot beams of pleasure that course through you with each of his movements. his mouth finds your neck and your collarbone and your breasts - basically any part of you within reach and you are almost certain there will be marks tomorrow. the steady pace is torturous now though and almost tearfully you beg him, pouting “dallas - need more!”
“spoilt little thing needs more hm?” he says and if your eyes weren’t closed you would of seen the devilish grin on his face.
and the thing is with dallas he truly can never backdown from a challenge. without warning he speeds up, a truly punishing pace that leaves you feeling such intense pleasure that all you can do is lie there and take it, your body boneless as you moan and babble.
“too much? just gonna have to fuckin’ take it…” his teasing words only serve to make you even more humiliating wet - your body having an almost pavlovian response when he mocks you.
he laughs cruelly, the pad of his thumb finding your bud and rubbing tight little circles as he jackhammers into you.
“christ- you’re so fuckin’ tight”
you can feel that familiar pleasure coming over you - your body tightening up as he continues his frantic movements. you think he’s getting close to from the way his words have faded into animalistic grunts, his hair stuck to his forehead with sweat and the st christopher bouncing against his bare chest. he suddenly pinches your clit and that’s all it takes. your body seizes up, eyes rolling back as you cum all over his cock. the pleasure comes in waves, rolling over you as you dig your nails into his back to ground yourself.
you tightening around him is the last push he need and with a loud moan of your name he comes into the condom, head tiredly falling against your shoulder as the high fades.
“shit wasn’t too rough was i? was tryna be gentle but then you had to give me those damn fuck-me eyes and i lost it” he says and if you didn’t know any better you might think he was feeling a bit insecure.
you smile softly though and shake your head “dal i’m so glad it was you” his ego restored he shrugs, smirking as he pulls out of you. he rises and you feel a stab in your gut - is he leaving? catching your gaze he rolls his eyes.
“cool yourself duchess, i’m just getting you something to clean you up okay?” you flush, pleased and embarrassed all at once but true to his word he reappears with a flannel wet with warm water which he uses to gently wipe you clean. once that’s done he curls up beside you, loosely wrapping his arm around your middle.
“sleep now - delicate things like you need their rest after their hot greaser boyfriends rail them within an inch of their life” he grins against your shoulder and you scoff softly, too tired to bicker. still with his arm slung around you and the warmth of his breath on your neck you’ve never felt more loved. you really are lucky to have dallas winston as your first.
bonus the next morning:
“what’s that on your necklace dal - next to the st christopher?”
“oh that it’s just your purity ring?”
“why on god’s name do you have that!” what if my parents see! they’ll kill you!”
“well shit angel it’s not like you need it anymore - not after the way i fucked you stupid last night ”
“i hate you...”
hope you like it! xoxo, flo <3
#diorgirl444#flo answers#dallas winston x reader#dallas winston#dally winston#dallas winston imagine#the outsiders dally#dally the outsiders#dallas winston x fem! reader#dallas winston x y/n#dallas winston headcanons#the outsiders x reader#the outsiders x you#the outsiders x oc#the outsiders x y/n#matt dillon x reader#matt dillon#dallas winston smut
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ꜱᴜɴꜱᴇᴛ ʙᴇᴀᴜᴛɪꜰᴜʟ



Pairings: Peeta x reader
Warnings: FLUFF, mentions of drinking, hickeys, making out
Desc: You wake up with a hangover and discover that you had slept in Peeta’s bed last night.
。𖦹°‧masterlist
You wake up to the smell of cinnamon and bread. Weird..you don’t remember lighting a candle last night. Well you don’t really remember anything. Your head is pounding as you open your eyes with a groan. Wait , this isn’t my house. You thought looking around the room. It 5 very similar though. Oh no.
You look to your side and saw Peeta sleeping peacefully beside you. You groan again sitting up. You look down and realize you’re wearing his clothes. Oh my god. You thought feeling around your chest to make sure you were wearing a bra. Thankfully, you were.
So if he put you in these clothes, he at least didn’t see you naked. You stand up—looking around the room for your clothes. You find them hung up on a rack, freshly cleaned. Ugh. Did you throw up on them or something?
You grab your clothes and start to take off Peeta’s shirt. You slip into your pajama shirt from the night before. You start to slip off Peeta’s pajama shorts that are tied to fit you when you notice something. You bend down to get a closer look. Oh no. You’re wearing a thong. Oh my god. He saw you in your thong. You’re mid way into getting your pajama pants on—bent down—when Peeta speaks up.
“I didn’t know you liked me that much.” He chuckled. You jumped and turned around, Cheeks flushing of embarrassment.
He looks down at your thong and you follow his gaze. You quickly pull up your pajama pants and head into his bathroom.
“What happened last night?” You ask examining your features in the mirror. Your face was puffy and you had a hickey on your neck. You exited the bathroom to look at him. “And how did I get this?” You ask.
“I don’t want to embarrass you.” He says as he looks down. Ugh. Nows not the time to be a gentleman.
“I don’t care. Tell me. I’ll be pissed if you dont.” You say heading back into the bathroom to grab a cold cloth and put it to your head. You go to sit on the edge of his bed and face him. “Go on. What happened?” You ask.
“Well,” he hesitates for a moment then continues “you came to my house drunk and you were crying about stuff.” Peeta says warily.
“What stuff?” Normally you would have a good guess but the way he said it made you confused.
“Okay, I’ll just say it all.” He says “you came to my house—crying—because we don’t cuddle anymore like we used to on the victory tour so I cuddled with you on my couch. You kissed me and then I kissed you.” “He pauses then continues rambling “I knew you were drunk but I wasn’t thinking and we made out. And, that’s how you got the hickey.” You blinked at him so he continued “Then, you threw up on your clothes—which I washed—so I put you in my clothes. You wanted to go to bed so I laid you down in mine and I was going to sleep on the couch but you wanted me to stay.” He says, cringing from his own embarrassment.
“Did we..” You don’t finish your sentence but Peeta knows what you mean.
“No.” He says. You lay down on the bed—cloth still on your forehead—and huff.
“I’m sorry Peeta. I’m a mess. I’ve been a mess since the Quarter Quell announcement.” You say looking at him apologetically. So embarrassing. You thought.
“You don’t need to apologize.” He mumbles before getting up and heading down stairs. You follow.

Peeta is making breakfast while you sit at the counter perched on a high chair. Whatever he is making smells so good. When he finishes cooking, he turns off the stove. He makes two servings onto a plate with beautiful blue drawing on top. You scan over it and Peeta makes a chuckling sound. Peeta made a neat omelette with tomatoes and kale and cheese. Your favorite. He remembered.
“I like the plates too. There pretty nice.” He says sitting down next to you. For a moment theres quiet. Not a bad quiet, a peaceful one. Then Peeta opens his big fat mouth. “You know Gale likes you.” He says scooping another bite of omelette into his mouth.
“Why?” You ask confused. Gale didn’t show it.
“I don’t know. Maybe ‘cause he thinks you’re pretty.” He says after finishing chewing his bite. You snort.
“He needs glasses.” You say taking a bite of the food.
“Don’t do that.” He says looking at you. His bright blue eyes staring at your face.
“Hm?”
“You are pretty Y/N. Don’t put yourself down.” He says with a smile and continues eating. Your cheeks flush and your ears get pink. You guys finish eating in silence.
When you’re done eating, before putting your dirty plate in the sink, you pass by Peeta and give him a little kiss on the cheek. He perks up, surprised by that random kiss. You only kissed him when you were drunk or tired. You reach the sink and put your plate down.
“Thank you for calling me pretty,” You say “and thank you for comforting me last night, even if I don’t remember.” You smile at him.
“Anytime.” He says grinning ear to ear like a little boy. He wants to tell you that you’re more than pretty, you’re beautiful. Not average beautiful. No, not average at all. He thinks you’re sunset beautiful. Maybe even prettier than a sunset. He paints you all the time. You always light up the canvas. When you go home, he gets sad. He wants to spend every waking moment with you. He spends every waking moment before your next kiss thinking about that peck.
#fanfic#thg#x yn#x y/n#fanfiction#thg fanfiction#y/n#reesereadsalot#peeta mellark#thg peeta#peeta x reader#peeta x y/n#the hunger games peeta#peeta#peeta mellark x reader#peeta mellark x you
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getting what she wants
lena oberdorf x reader
part four of five
summary: you wonder if she will take this as seriously as you will, since the unfortunate event will turn her life around
warnings: angst, acl injury
the atmosphere in washington, d.c. was buzzing, the crowd already filling up the stadium for the final friendly before the olympics.
the last tune-up match. the send off. you should’ve been excited, but your mind wasn’t entirely focused on the game ahead.
your family was here, your non-soccer playing friends have called off from their jobs just to celebrate your achievements.
however, you couldn’t shake the feeling that something was off, though you hadn’t put your finger on it yet.
emma had decided to rest you for the first half, opting to try out some new formations and lineups before the olympics.
you were okay with it, knowing that your performance in new york had already solidified your spot in the starting lineup for the tournament. still, sitting on the bench with your legs jittering from the adrenaline that always hit just before a match wasn’t easy.
you sat between tierna and hal, the latter relatively new to the national team setup. hal’s wide eyes scanned the field, soaking it all in as she sat nervously beside you.
"y/n," she said, her voice soft, like she wasn’t sure if she should even speak to you.
you turn your head to look at her, with a light smile letting her know that she can speak to you anytime.
"i know you’re going through a hard time, according to the team. and i feel like you should hear this since we haven’t talked much but i’ve just... i’ve always admired you. as a midfielder, i mean. your control, your playmaking, it’s... i don’t know, you’re so goated."
you turned to her, surprised by the compliment. you hadn’t interacted with hal much since this was only her third call-up to the senior team. she was still finding her spot, but her genuine words made you smile, if only a little.
"thank you, you don’t understand how much that means to me right now" you replied, offering her a nod of acknowledgment.
"you’ve been doing great too. i can’t wait to play with you more often."
hal gave a nervous smile, then added, "i know there’s been... a lot of drama lately. with carmine and everything. but i want you to know that i’d like to be your friend, no matter what. i don’t care about the rumors that might make you look bad or any of that stuff."
her words took you off guard, and you felt a wave of gratitude wash over you.
it wasn’t easy to open up to new people, especially after your ex ruined your trust for a temporary period, but hal’s sincerity was a breath of fresh air.
"i’d like that," you said, meaning it.
"friends sound good."
the game started, and for the first half, you sat watching intently, analyzing the way emma was testing out the new players.
mexico was tough, just as they had been in the gold cup back in february, but you knew that your team had enough firepower to break them down eventually.
at halftime, it was still 0-0, and you were itching to get on the field.
emma must’ve sensed it, because in the 63rd minute, she called your name.
"y/n, you’re going in. i want you to play in your normal position, just like last game, prioritize the opportunity. stay in the line– i trust you."
you nodded, already mentally preparing yourself as you stripped off your warm-up gear and jogged to the sideline.
when the whistle blew, you stepped onto the pitch replacing rose lavelle, ready to make an impact.
within minutes, you found your rhythm, linking up with mallory, lynn, and sophia effortlessly. you could feel the game starting to open up, and you knew it was only a matter of time before the breakthrough came.
and then, in the 78th minute, it did.
lynn made a run down the left wing, drawing two defenders toward her. you saw the space open up in the middle and called for the ball.
she cut it back to you, and without hesitation, you took a touch, then drilled it into the bottom corner of the net.
the goalkeeper dives too late to save it.
the crowd erupted as you run to the corner to celebrate. you see your family and personal friends and give them a heart with your hands, happy to see them here.
your teammates swarming you. it wasn’t a hat trick like the last game, but it was your fourth goal in two games, and it felt good—really good.
after the final whistle, with a 1-0 victory secured, you headed back to the locker room.
the energy was high, the team buzzing with excitement, but there was a heavy pit forming in your stomach.
something didn't feel right before the game, and you couldn’t shake it.
as you sat on the bench, wiping the sweat and grass dirt from your face, lindsey walked over, her expression serious. she motioned for you to follow her, pulling you into one of the private areas of the locker room.
"hi?" you asked, sensing something was wrong.
is she confronting you about the drama? you weren’t sure. lindsey reassured you many times that everyone still loves you, so you hope there were no new problems now.
lindsey hesitated for a moment, her eyes searching yours before she spoke.
"i didn’t want to tell you before the game, but... lena got injured in germany’s friendly against austria. it’s her knee. popp thinks it’s her acl."
your heart dropped into your stomach, the words hitting you like a freight train.
"what?" your voice cracked, panic already rising in your chest.
"she’s in the hospital back in germany right now," lindsey continued softly.
"i’m sorry, y/n."
you didn’t think twice. without another word, you grabbed your phone and hurried outside to find a quieter space.
it was 11:30 p.m. in dc, which meant it was 5:30 am in germany.
lena would still be awake, especially if she was in the hospital.
with shaky hands, you dialed her number. the phone rang twice before she picked up, her voice groggy but filled with pain.
"hey," lena murmured.
"i was hoping you’d call. nice goal by the way, i saw it on tv."
"lena, i just found out," you said, your voice tight as you tried to hold back the wave of emotions crashing over you.
"your acl? are you okay? i—i should’ve called sooner but i had that game—"
"i’m... i don’t know," lena admitted, her voice breaking slightly.
"it hurts like hell, and i couldn’t sleep. i was supposed to start my first game with you at bayern after the summer, but now... now i don’t even know when i’ll be back."
your heart ached hearing the defeat in her voice.
lena was one of the toughest people you knew, but this was breaking her.
"i’m so sorry," you whispered, your throat tight.
"i’ll be there for you, okay? after the olympics, i’ll help you with your recovery. i’ll make time, i promise."
"you don’t have to do that," lena said quietly, though you could hear the gratitude in her tone.
"i don’t want to be a burden on you. you have so much going on—" she switches to german.
"lena," you cut her off, your voice firm.
"you’re not a burden. you’re a priority. i want to help you. i’ll be there for you, whatever you need. i promise."
there was a long pause on the other end before lena spoke again.
"thank you," she whispered. "i... i don’t know what i’d do without you right now."
you sat there, the weight of her words sinking in. the truth was, you didn’t know what you’d do without her either.
shes been in contact with you everyday since that night. unless there were training or games, there wasn’t a single long-period where you weren’t texting about something– or anything.
despite everything—despite the complicated mess you’d been through with your ex, and the uncertainty that had surrounded your relationship with lena—you realized just how deep your feelings for her ran.
you weren’t official with lena. not yet. but the way your heart was breaking for her right now told you everything you needed to know.
after a long pause, lena spoke again, her voice softer now.
"i’ll still make time for you, even with everything going on."
"no," you said firmly. "i’m going to be there for you, okay? i’ll help you recover. you won’t have to go through this alone."
"thank you," lena whispered again, her voice filled with emotion.
you sat there, the phone still pressed to your ear, your mind racing. this wasn’t how you’d imagined things would go.
lena was supposed to start fresh at bayern after the summer, and now... now everything had changed.
when you returned to the locker room, the news had already spread. the atmosphere was a mix of excitement from the win and the heaviness of what had just happened to lena.
your teammates, especially the ones who knew her well like tierna, gave you sympathetic looks, but no one said much.
as the team prepared to leave for d.c., the weight of everything that had happened in the past few weeks hit you all at once.
from the messy breakup with sloan to lena’s injury, it felt like everything was spinning out of control.
and yet, despite it all, one thing became clear to you as you boarded the plane for the olympics:
you wanted to be with lena. not just as a friend, not just as someone helping her recover, but you wanted to be hers. and her to be yours.
the thing is– you weren’t sure how it would all work out with lena, but you knew one thing for sure: you were in too deep to turn back now.
when all of this was over, you and lena could figure it out together.
the olympics came and went in a blur, the pressure mounting as you advanced through the tournament.
the uswnt played like machines under emma hayes, and before you knew it, you found yourself in the final against brazil, the stakes higher than ever.
the atmosphere at the olympic final against brazil was electric. you were in the 2020 olympics with the team, but winning bronze doesn’t compare to this.
you stood shoulder to shoulder with lindsey and sam, eyes fixed on the opponents you’ve had faced so many times before.
brazil was known for their speed and creativeness, but you knew alyssa naeher was more than prepared to keep them at bay.
today wasn’t just another game — it was the olympic final. and you were more determined than ever to bring home gold. just to prove to yourself that nothing could stop your game, not your cheating ex— nobody.
but as the national anthem played, you couldn’t help but think of lena.
you hadn’t spoken to her much over the last few days, mostly because she was in the thick of her recovery then traveling to meet up with her national team.
though, lena was in the audience. you knew that. lena visited her german teammates as they won the bronze medal match against spain. to say that you were happy for them would've been an understatement.
now the germans were here before the ceremony, ready to watch you put on an outstanding performance for gold.
your heart ached when you thought of her, the injury that had thrown both of your worlds off course.
she was supposed to be thriving, ready to become a star at bayern, and now she was sidelined for months.
but right now, you had a job to do.
the whistle blew, and the final kicked off.
brazil came out swinging, full of energy, and the first twenty minutes were a back-and-forth battle in the midfield.
every time adriana or marta touched the ball, your heart skipped a beat, but you knew alyssa was solid in the back.
the triple espresso were pushing the attack, but brazil’s defense was holding strong.
at around the 30-minute mark, you found yourself in space, sam coffey threading a pass your way.
your first touch was sharp, pushing the ball ahead of you as you glanced up to see the keeper off her line. the triple espresso was blocked by defenders, so without a second thought, you wound up and took the shot from just outside the box, sending the ball curling toward the top corner.
the sound of the net rippling sent a surge of adrenaline through your veins, and the stadium exploded in celebration. 1-0.
you threw your arms up, letting the emotion wash over you as your teammates rushed to engulf you in a hug.
something inside of you wanted to cry in joy– but you held it in. there was still work to be done, and brazil wasn’t going to back down easily.
the rest of the first half was intense.
brazil pressed hard, but the u.s. defense, led by alyssa, naomi, emily, crystal, and tierna, stood strong.
when brazil did manage to get a shot off, alyssa was there, calm and collected, making crucial saves to maintain the lead.
at halftime, the locker room was a mixture of adrenaline and focus.
the 1-0 lead felt good, but you knew it wasn’t enough. brazil was dangerous, and if you let up for even a second, they’d capitalize.
emma gathered the team for a quick pep talk, her voice steady but full of fire. you listened, making sure that you put on the best performance of your career in this second half.
as the second half kicked off, you could feel the tension.
brazil came out with renewed energy, and for the first 15 minutes, they pinned you back, testing alyssa with shots from distance.
she held firm, pulling off save after save, keeping the clean sheet intact.
you cheered, externally or internally, everytime.
in the 65th minute, emma made a tactical switch, bringing in fresh legs to maintain the pace. fortunately, you weren’t subbed out.
the game shifted again, and you found yourself back in the attack. mallory broke down the wing, flying past her defender, and whipped in a cross toward the penalty spot.
you were already there, timing your run perfectly. the ball floated in, and without hesitating, you leapt into the air, connecting with the header.
it wasn’t the hardest shot you’d ever taken, but it was placed perfectly, tucking into the bottom corner past brazil’s keeper.
2-0.
the stadium erupted, louder this time, the roar deafening as you run around the pitch with your arms up high. your teammates chased then mobbed you once again. most teammates from the bench even jumping up to hug you in celebration.
a two-goal lead in the olympic final. you could taste the gold now.
with brazil rattled, the game started to open up. there were more chances on both sides, but your defense was unbreakable.
alyssa, naomi, and emily were locked in, keeping brazil at bay with every attack they mounted. it felt like nothing could get past them, and you could see the frustration building in the brazilian players.
as the clock ticked down, the final whistle was nearing, but you kept your foot on the gas.
brazil was desperate, throwing numbers forward, and that left them exposed at the back.
in the 88th minute, you found yourself in possession again, just outside the box.
sophia made a darting run to pull the defenders away, giving you just enough space to take a shot. you faked to your right, cutting back inside, and then unleashed a low, driven strike toward the far post.
the ball hit the bar, but trinity recovered it and tapped it behind the net.
3-0. the gold was yours.
the crowd exploded in celebration as you dropped to your knees, overwhelmed with emotion.
trinity laid on top of you, crying with you.
your teammates swarmed you, hugging you, lifting you up, the joy infectious. you had done it. olympic champions.
as the final whistle blew, the team celebrated like there was no tomorrow, hugging, crying, laughing.
you had your gold medal moment, standing on top of the world.
your hands were on your face as your sobs came out uncontrollably. if you told yourself a month ago that you’d be this happy and relieved, you wouldn’t believe it.
lindsey and tierna comforted you as you stood up to go to the locker room, getting ready to shower before the ceremony.
as you had a moment to settle down, your thoughts drifted back to lena.
you hadn’t realized how deep your feelings for her had grown.
the fact that she was there, the fact that she was hundreds of feet away in the stadium, recovering from an injury that could derail her season instead of celebrating bronze with her team, weighed heavily on your heart.
later that night, after all the celebrations, after the medals had been handed out and the photos had been taken, you found a quiet moment to yourself.
the weight of the gold medal around your neck was a reminder of everything you’d worked for, but the ache in your chest was for something, someone else.
you pulled out your phone, glancing at the time.
lena was probably asleep by now after partying with her national team, but you couldn’t help it. you needed to talk to her.
you dialed her number, your heart pounding as the phone rang. after a few rings, she picked up, her voice groggy.
"hey," she mumbled.
"you did it!" she cheered through her tired voice.
"yeah," you whispered, your throat tight.
"we won."
there was a long pause on the other end, and you could hear lena shift slightly, probably trying to get comfortable in her bed.
you know that she is someone who sleeps on her stomach, so the brace might make it hard for her.
"i’m so proud of you," she said softly.
"i wish you were here with me," you admitted, the words slipping out before you could stop them.
"this doesn’t feel right without you, even if you do have a different nationality than me." you giggled.
"i wish i was there too," she replied, her voice filled with longing.
"but... i’ll be here when you get back. we’ll figure everything out then. until then, please enjoy your win."
you smiled, tears stinging your eyes. "i’m coming home to you. as soon as all of this is done."
"i’ll be waiting," lena whispered.
as you hung up after the goodnights, the weight of everything hit you all at once.
the olympics, the gold, lena’s injury, your breakup with sloan, the confusion about what you and lena really were—it was all so much.
one thing was clear in your mind as you stared down at the gold medal around your neck: it didn’t matter what obstacles lay ahead now.
you moved on from whatever was in the past and you were in this with lena now, for the long run.
part five, the final part, here
#lena oberdorf#lena oberdorf x reader#woso fanfics#woso community#woso x reader#gerwnt#bayern frauen#bayern munich
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ꜰᴏʀ ᴛʜᴇ ʀᴇᴄᴏʀᴅ
𝘧𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨… 𝘦𝘤𝘩𝘰 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘤𝘩𝘳𝘪𝘴, 𝘢 𝘤𝘢𝘮𝘦𝘳𝘢, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘶𝘯𝘦𝘹𝘱𝘦𝘤𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘦𝘯𝘴𝘪𝘰𝘯

Echo sat at the library table, scribbling notes for the school paper. It hadn’t been so bad with Chris as her partner. So far. The quiet hum of the library surrounded them, but Chris was determined to break the silence. He fiddled with the camera in front of him, glancing over at her with a smirk.
“So, what's the deal with Matt?” he asked, eyes flicking between the camera and her face, his tone light but with an edge she couldn't quite place.
Echo didn’t look up, pretending to focus on the assignment. “What do you mean?”
Chris raised an eyebrow, lips curling slightly. “You’ve been asking about him all week. What, you trying to get in his head or something?”
Echo’s fingers paused on the pen. She tried to shrug it off, but she felt that annoying flutter in her chest. “I told you, it’s for a friend,” she said, keeping her voice casual. “A favour.”
“Right,” Chris said, drawing the word out with a knowing grin. “Sure, it is.”
She felt the irritation building up, but she kept her gaze fixed on the notebook. “You can’t just keep quiet, can you?”
Chris leaned back in his chair, clearly enjoying the game. “What’s the fun in that?”
“You’re so annoying,” she muttered under her breath, rolling her eyes.
Chris’s eyes softened, but the teasing tone didn’t fade. “You know, Matt’s probably into something deep, like... The Breakfast Club. He thinks he’s this misunderstood guy who’s actually cool underneath, but nobody gets it.”
Echo caught herself laughing, despite herself. “You’re terrible.”
Chris shrugged. “I’m just saying, you wanna know him? He spends way too much time overthinking. Same as everyone else.”
Echo didn’t quite know why his words hit her in that strange way. “That’s the least helpful thing I’ve heard today.”
“I know.” Chris smiled, and she caught the hint of something behind it, something that made her hesitate for a split second. “You’re welcome.”
She took a breath, trying to refocus. “What about his hobbies? Does he have any? Or does he just hang around his annoying younger brother all day?”
Chris shook his head, biting his lip to stop himself from smirking. “Says the one hanging out with me, right now.”
“Not by choice.”
He chuckled, shifting in his seat. “You know, lately Matt’s been spending a lot of time at the gym. Not for exercise, though. It’s more of a flex. He likes the idea of being this... cool guy who’s already preparing for hockey season.”
“Are you sure you’re not projecting a little?” Echo shot back, trying to cover up the weird tension creeping in.
“Maybe,” Chris said, but his smile faltered just a bit. “But he has been coming to the gym with me as of late.”
Echo bit her lip. She was starting to see a side of Chris she hadn’t really considered before, and it wasn’t the teasing, careless Chris she thought she knew. She brushed it off, trying to take advantage of Chris’s chatty mood. “So, what about his romantic pursuits?” she asked, a little too quickly, hoping to break the awkwardness. “Is he into anyone?”
Chris’s expression shifted just slightly, his gaze becoming unreadable. He leaned forward, dropping his playful tone. “Why? Is that for you, or for your friend?” He mimes the last two words with air-quotes.
Echo blinked, caught off guard. “What does that even mean?”
He didn’t answer at first, his eyes lingering on her a bit too long. “You’ve gotta know what you want. Or, maybe you don’t.”
Echo’s heart skipped, and she swallowed, forcing herself to look down at the notebook again. “You’re relentless.”
“I’m just telling you the truth,” he said quietly. His voice softened, almost like he was trying to get at something, but pulling back before it could get too deep. “Matt’s not gonna make the first move. You’ve gotta make it clear you’re interested.”
Echo felt a strange warmth rise in her chest, even though she was trying to keep things light. “How am I supposed to do that?”
Chris smirked again, but this time it was gentler, almost... softer. “You’re smart. You’ll figure it out.”
There was something in his voice… something genuine that caught her off guard. For a moment, Echo forgot that they were talking about Matt. And Iris.
Before she could respond, Chris picked up the camera that had been resting on the table between them. “Forget about him for a second. Let’s focus. We came here for the assignment, didn’t we?"
She blinked, shaking herself out of her thoughts. “Right,” she said, her voice quieter now, the brief moment of tension hanging between them. “I’ve planned out the article. You just need to take your pictures.”
Chris slumped on the table. “Great. More work. Just what I needed today,” he said in a tone that made it sound like he was anything but thrilled.
Echo sighed. “You’ve barely done anything since you got here. Besides, you know how to use the camera, and I don’t.”
Chris smirked, picking up the camera. “I know, I know how to use it. But I could always show you how it’s done…”
“Save it,” Echo cut him off. “Let’s just get the shots.”
They grabbed their things and headed outside, where the sun was hanging low in the sky, casting long shadows on the pavement. The school’s courtyard was empty, the perfect place to snap some candid shots for the article they had to work on. Something about the building’s architecture.
Chris set the camera to his eye, positioning it like he was some kind of professional photographer, though he was clearly just having fun with it.
“Alright, I’m done,” Chris said after snapping a few pictures of the building. He lowered the camera with a satisfied grin. “You want to try now, or are you still too scared to mess it up?”
Echo rolled her eyes, but couldn’t help the smile tugging at her lips. “You’re so full of it. Fine. Show me.”
Chris leaned in, placing the camera in her grip and adjusting the lens. He positioned her hands carefully, guiding her fingers around the controls with a gentle touch.
“Okay,” he said, giving her a mock serious look. “You’ll need to get the angles just right. Make sure you focus on the background, but also…” He paused for a second, his gaze lingering a little too long on her face. “You know what? You seem like you’ve got the basics down. You’re good.”
Chris handed her the camera with a soft, almost reluctant smile. “You’re not gonna mess this up. Trust me.”
His fingers brushed hers as he let go of the camera completely, and the fleeting touch felt like more than just a quick, accidental contact. Echo wasn’t sure what it meant, but her heart seemed to have an answer all its own. She focused on the camera, trying to push the thoughts out of her head. “Okay, show me how it works.”
Chris set himself up, striking a pose like he always did, his casual ease making it hard to ignore. “Don’t make it look like a mugshot,” he teased, but the edge in his voice was softer, more... personal.
She aimed the camera, her hands a little shaky. “I know what I’m doing.”
Chris chuckled, though his smile seemed less carefree. “Yeah? Prove it.”
She snapped the shot, and Chris immediately grabbed the camera, inspecting the picture like it was the most important thing in the world. “Not bad,” he said, his voice surprisingly quiet. “You’ve got potential.”
For a moment, their eyes met, and it felt like everything slowed down. Echo quickly looked away, her pulse quickening in a way she didn’t fully understand. Chris didn’t say anything, but there was a flicker of something in his gaze before he let go of the camera and rubbed the back of his neck, a hint of vulnerability in his expression.
“Keep practicing,” he said, his tone suddenly almost... serious. “You might get good at this.”
She looked away, unsure of what to say as she felt so… flustered suddenly. Just as the time to say an awkward goodbye came, she cleared her throat and replied, softly, “For the record… you really are good with the camera. You've got a gift.”
Chris paused for a beat, then gave her a small, genuine smile. “Thanks, Echo.”
“See you,” she murmured, trying to ignore how her heart was still racing.
“G’bye,” Chris said, and the way he said it almost made her feel like he wasn’t quite ready to leave either.
thank u rose for the dividers!!! much love @bernardsbendystraws
a/n: hope u enjoy! we're kinda getting somewhere? i.e. i finally kinda have a loose plan
taglist: @snoopychris @chrissweetheart @sturnsrecord @sturns-mermaid @slxt4chriss @blushsturns @stvrnzwrld @middlepartmatt @trevorsgodmother comment to be added/removed from this au's taglist!! cya next time <3
#inez˚˖𓍢ִ໋`🌿:✧˚#inez ff ˚˖𓍢ִ໋`🌿:✧˚#20thcenturygirl!au⊹ ࣪ ˖[ ◉¯]₊ ⊹#20thcenturygirl!reader⋆。°✩#20thcenturyboy!chris. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁#sturniolo triplets#chris sturniolo#the sturniolo triplets#sturniolo#christopher sturniolo#chris sturniolo fanfic#chris sturniolo x reader#chris sturniolo fluff#chris sturniolo x you#matt sturniolo#matthew sturniolo#chris sturniolo imagine#christopher sturniolo angst#sturniolo x reader#sturniolo fanfic#christopher sturniolo x reader#christopher sturniolo fluff#chris sturniolo au#chris sturniolo angst#christopher sturniolo au#chris sturniolo fanfiction#christopher sturniolo fanfic
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Seven(ways to Neverland)
JJ Maybank x fem!reader
Summery: “And I’ve been meaning to tell you, I think your house is haunted. Your dad is always mad, and that must be why.” Y/n and JJ grew up together, and while it was inevitable, Y/n and JJ swore they’d never grow up. Not even when life told them it wasn’t possible to be young forever.

“My Ma is always saying dad left because he was a piece of work.” The girl said softly into the cold silence. Waves lapped at the shore calmly, and wind blew through her wild hair. She twisted the loose ring on her middle finger, a hollowed out and ground down acorn that was more brown than green nowadays. She spun the slightly wet ring around on her skin. “But I don’t believe her.”
The girl tucked her chin into her knees, curling up like a turtle in a shell. Her eyes glistened in the pale moonlight.
“Why?” The tow head blonde boy asked, curiosity in his defeated gaze.
“She drinks a lot.” The girl shrugged like it was normal. “She always did, but more now that dad is gone. Her friends do too. They talk about how their ‘glory days’ are behind them…or something like that.” She overshared her mother’s secrets, her young mind not comprehending the idea of dirty laundry and why you don’t air it out.
“Oh.” The boy looked down at the sand. “My dad drinks too.” He looked to the girl, who was now drawing circles in the sand mindlessly.
“Maybe it’s a grown up thing, and we don’t understand it yet.” She said hopefully, but her voice was low and quiet, and she looked awfully sad when saying it.
“Maybe.” The boy responded just as quietly.
“Wouldn’t it be cool if my mom married your dad?” The girl suddenly questioned. “Then maybe they wouldn’t drink as much. They wouldn’t need to, and my Ma’s friends wouldn’t have to sleepover in my bed.”
The boy nodded slowly, considering the idea before tossing it out the window.
“You wouldn’t want my dad to marry your mom.”
Silence filled the beach again, and the boy took some sand in his hand and watched it drain out slowly back onto the ground.
“He’s always angry. Sometimes he’s not, but it feels like he is.” It was the girls turn to look down and try to find some words of sympathy.
“Yeah. Parents suck.” The girl smiled, knowing the feeling of helplessness all too well.
They were only seven, but they knew a whole lot about things they shouldn’t, and they understood that just because the world worked that way for them, that didn’t mean it worked the same for everyone.
“Does he hit?” The girl asked curiously, her smile fading. The conversation seemed so casual, calm. Little children who should have been cowering, already accustomed to the treatment.
“Sometimes.” The boy answered truthfully, and the girl nodded.
“So does my mom.” The girl said quietly, still doodling in the sand beside her feet.
“Do you hate her?” The blonde boy asked after a beat passed, looking to see what the girl would say.
She thought about it for a moment, sucking her bottom lip between her teeth and twisting and pushing against the acorn on her finger.
She shook her head.
“No.”
That was her answer. Plain and simple like there was no other reason for it. She was her mother after all, and she was a kid. She would cling to her and try her best to be great for her, and when her mom would hit, she would try even harder to be great because even if her mom was a bad person, she was a bad person that the girl wanted to love her so badly.
The innocent and the good look up to the horrible and the ugly.
“Would you run away?” The boy pressed further, maybe because he was curious of what the girl would say, but maybe also because he was curious if anyone else shared the same thoughts.
“Would you come with me?” She asked.
“Why?” The boy questioned with his brow raised, his head cocked to the side.
“I don’t like being alone. I don’t like the dark.” She hugged her knees even tighter.
As the wind blew warm salty air onto the shore, waves crashed more violently against the sand, the tide rolling in quickly.
“You’d hate my house then.” The boy joked with a chuckle. It sounded almost bitter. “Dark, quiet, scary.”
“Sounds haunted.” The girl looked back into the boys blue eyes.
“Maybe. But ghosts aren’t real.” The boy shut down the girls observation quickly, picking at the loose threads at the ends of his board shorts.
The girl hummed and silence fell over the two kids again. Messy blonde hair and two tangles braids with dead ends fraying in the wind. A faded pink shirt with cursive writing and a dusty white tank top. They were so young.
“Well, I think your house is haunted. Your dad is always mad, and that must be why.” She spoke up suddenly, kicking the sand and standing up.
“My dad isn’t afraid of any ghosts.” The boy stood up quickly, looking straight back at the girl. They were at the age where he could still stand eye level with her, but he figured in a few years he’d have a few inches on her.
“But he must be afraid of you.” The girl reasoned.
“My dad isn’t afraid of any seven year olds either.” The boy argued a little more firmly, feeling protective of his father, or his lack of, despite all the cruelty he was shown from such a young age.
“Well then, why does he hit you? He has to be afraid of something if he’s hitting you. My mom says it’s because I look so much like my dad. Like I could be the ghost of him and she hates it.”
The boy fell quiet, which was unusual. Everything about the way he acted around her was odd. He wasn’t a quiet boy, wasn’t one to just sit and talk, he’d rather pace around and pick at his nails.
“I didn’t think of it like that.” The boy said softly, looking down at his dusty boots. “Maybe I look like my mom…” He agreed, but he didn’t really know what his mom looked like.
“Well, I bet she was really pretty.” The girl said, her eyes shining despite her lack of a smile. Like she was calm on the inside despite the outer furrowing of her brows.
“You think?” The boy asked, raising a brow and his head.
“I know.”
She was looking right at him, his blonde hair and his blue eyes. His skin was tan, soft looking. He had sun kissed freckles on his nose and pink lips. Anyone that pretty had to have a pretty mom, she thought. But they would never know.
The boy blushed, and he held out his dusty hand until she took it in a loose handshake.
“JJ. JJ Maybank.” He smiled, looking back into her eyes. He was only seven, and he wasn’t like his friend Pope. He wasn’t the kid who read in his free time or who practiced spelling on his weekends. He was out between the sand and the weeds, picking at the dirt and getting his knees muddy. But even he could see the wild look she had, untamed but gentle.
“Y/n. Y/n Y/l/n.” She smiled in return. She had a sweet smile, JJ thought. He’d never thought that before, or if he had he hadn’t thought about him thinking that. She had a really sweet smile. She was sweet. Blush from the wind on her cheeks and coloring the tip of her nose. A missing front tooth, which, by the cut in her bottom lip right where it should have been, JJ figured she’d knocked it out herself.
“Y/l/n.” JJ hummed, putting it to memory.
“I’ve been meaning to ask you.” Y/n hummed, her hair pulled back into two uneven braids, the part in the back a mess. JJ had done them for her today.
“Shoot away.” He replied calmly, smiling and tugging at the end of one braid, watching the girl’s head tilt closer, her feet crossing in an unbalanced step. She slapped his bicep weakly.
“JJ!” She laughed through her annoyance. She could never really be annoyed with him, she believed. She hoped JJ didn’t know it because Y/n figured if he did, he’d push through every fragment of tranquility they shared. He’d find a way to bring her right to the brink of frustration and then make her laugh it all off over and over again.
“What does JJ even stand for anyway.” Y/n huffed, crossing her arms over her chest, wrinkling her waffled shirt. “Probably something stupid.” She smirked, unraveling her hands to tuck them into the pockets of her hand-me-down overalls.
JJ punched her, his lips drawn in a thin line. Y/n rubbed her arm quickly to soothe the sting, her brows kissing at the center of her forehead. “Ow!” She yelped.
That was the thing with growing up, some get stronger, and others get left behind. Not to say Y/n was weak, the bruises on JJ’s arms from her little shoves and playful punches were proof enough, but they were nearly twelve now, and JJ figured he could probably bench her by this point.
“You started it!” He argued, though his palm still smoothed over where he hit her maybe just a but too hard. He’d check to make sure he didn’t leave a mark later.
“Did not!” They fought like children, and smiled freely like they did when they were seven, like they didn’t have all the reason to frown, to cry. To let genetics be hereditary and become the punishers. But instead they swung weakly at each other and laughed everything off until nothing really mattered anymore.
A silence fell between their giggles, a silence only broken my JJ’s pointer finger and thumb playing with the little tail tied off at the end of the braid.
“I don’t know. I never asked, I figured it was just my name. JJ.” He shrugged. “Simple. Like me.”
Y/n nearly snorted.
“You might be a simple boy, JJ, but you are not simple.” She smiled, eyes flickering down to her muddy shoes, bright red converse with holes in the sides so wide, ants found refuge in the warm shelter.
“John?” Y/n threw out an idea. JJ shook his head.
“Nah, we already got a John.” He pointed out, stuffing his own hands into his pockets.
“Well, your dad didn’t know that at the time.” She argued, and still, JJ couldn’t get on board.
“Okay.” Y/n thought, humming and biting her bottom lip, sucking it between her teeth, and swiping her tongue over the faded scar where, she had in fact, lost her front tooth all those years ago. An adult tooth had grown in since, but the scar, now pink instead of bloody, lingered like a faded memory.
“Jackson?” She looked at him, and for a moment, he thought about it. Then, he hummed, pulling his own lip between his teeth.
“Nope, too fancy. Maybe if I was Kook royalty.” He joked.
“So maybe one day?” Y/n teased back, wiggling her brows. JJ gave her an amused look as if to say, yeah right.
They went back to listing names, stumbling down the list until random names became those that started with a J. She tried out George with a J, followed by Jerry, and Jeremy. But all fell flat. It seemed to look as though the boys name was nothing more than two letters squished together.
Then, with a click of her tongue to the roof of her mouth, and a sparkle in her eye, she looked up at the blonde with wonder, the start of an idea.
“Jesse James.” She spoke matter-of-factly, her hands cupping her hips confidently.
“Who now?” He raised a brow.
“The outlaw?” She said in return, like it was common knowledge. Like her and Pope didn’t stick their noses deep into western books all summer much to JJ’s dismay. Not that he hadn’t know she was a bookworm, as if she hadn’t lugged around whatever second hand book she could snatch without the librarian noticing, but the summertime was time for the water, the waves, the tide. Not dusty pages written in small cursive letters with stupid plots less lively than any adventure JJ could drag her on.
And, no, he wasn’t jealous. That’s not why he went on a long list of reasons why he didn’t recognize the name, how it evolved into a complaint of her time spent glued to Pope instead of him, because JJ was surely not jealous.
“He was an outlaw back in the 1800’s. He robbed, killed, fought. Ran a gang with other outlaws.” She explained with a plain expression.
“Oh, so an asshole?” JJ shorted, and the sound made Y/n laugh.
“No. Well—yes, but that’s not why I think it’s so fitting. It’s adventurous, fun. Risky, you know?” She gushed over old literature, and god, if it had been Pope or anyone else, JJ swore he would’ve rung their neck by now, or at the very least ran as far away as possible. But Y/n explained it with a giggle, and JJ simply couldn’t resist listening to each word pouring from her mouth.
“Anyway, I think it’s fitting on a surface level.” She shrugged finally, and then, her eyes flickered over to his. “But I think I like plain old JJ the best.” She smiled sweetly, and then, she licked her chapped lips.
JJ figured if she liked it, he liked it too. He never really longed to know what his name stood for, if it meant anything, but her questions always raised his own. He thought a bit more as they walked between the broken branches and thick grass. He felt bugs on his shins and sweat beading down the back of his neck. He adjusted the old, beat up hat that flattened out his messy blonde hair against his forehead.
“Well, what about you?” JJ finally questioned, itching to hear her philosophies some more.
“What about me?” She continued walking, the sound of running water nearby tumbling down smooth rocks.
“Well, if I’m some outlaw, what does that make you? The damsel?” He smirked, and Y/n couldn’t help but roll her eyes.
Could he really picture her in a corset? A layer over another until she was all fabric and barely any skin and bones. A big skirt hiding the frame of her hips and the sweet curls of her hair. She laughed at the image she painted for herself.
“If anything, you’d be the damsel.” She pointed her finger into his arm, looking up at the ground ahead now, and then let out a peaceful sigh.
“The accomplice.” She smiled, hooking her arm in mine. I let my hand slip out of my pocket so she could pull me closer. “But never the follower.” She raised her brows, a serious gleam in her lively eyes through her long lashes.
“Anyway, crime isn’t for me and it isn’t for you either, blondie. You’d end up in jail, and I’d have to bail you out. Hell, I’d probably be behind bars with you too.” She dreamed up the image, already seeing the way JJ would be leaned back, laughing at her stressed out expression. Cool and unbothered, the way he always seemed to be.
“And I don’t know about you, but I don’t just wanna be the kid from the cut who ended up as just another sheriffs little pet. I wanna be something. Someone.” She clenched her fist in determination.
“I wanna be that girl even in my eighties, dancing in the rain and running up and down the beach like my bones can’t flake away.” She smiled brightly. “And I want to scream, I want to yell! I’d scream ferociously, leaping between the waves like we do now, and I’d finally jump from the rocks, and I won’t be scared because I’ll have done it thousands of times.” She painted her future, her desire.
There was no money, no big house with a picket fence and an army of children. Just the ocean, some laughter, and enough fearless ambition to spill into the next lifetime.
“Sounds nice.” JJ agreed, but he didn’t have the same imagination as she did, he didn’t have it in him to dream a dream as pure and grand. So what, he wished for a little money, it didn’t make him any less noble. He didn’t need to live on figure eight, he just didn’t want to be stuck with three jobs until he turned to dirt.
“It will be. And you’ll know it because you’ll be there with me, and we’ll be the same pirates we are now. We’ll smoke on the roof and wear fancy clothing that we made ourselves. We’ll ride the waves and make lemonade and sweet tea like John B’s dad does. We’ll have mustaches from the sugar, and we’ll be young forever with the grass between our toes!”
She stopped, suddenly grabbing his shoulders at the opening of the thick greenery, the sandy beach an open land that laid out for miles around them. The waves hit the smooth rocks, the rougher ones that stood tall thrashing with the heavy water. Sea salt coated their glistening skin.
“We will be interesting forever.” She promised with a serious smile, like she knew there was no other fate for people like them. “And nobody will ever forget how we lived like real people should and how we never let the temptation of a corporate paycheck take away the big picture.”
Her hands wrinkled the shoulders of JJ’s old tank top, the sides cut so far down, it was nearly just a napkin with a hole for his head. Everything about their attire screamed kids from the cut, there was no fooling anyone, yet they carried themselves with pride, like the lack of civility in their lives was a thrill, the dirt and the worms and the bees and sweltering sunburns were all a gift to have been rubbed across them on their walks in the rain, in their summer time hikes to the secret beaches they weren’t supposed to venture on.
The Kooks had it good, an easy life, but Y/n declared that they were the only ones living.
“Well, we can start on that dream now.” JJ declared hopefully, looking out to where the waved lapped at the shore. His ringed fingers pointed out at the rigid rocks that overhung the deep waters.
“If we’ve got a thousand of leaps to take, you have to start with one.” He looked back at the girl, the way she nervously fidgeted before setting her hands stiffly by her sides.
“And then we won’t be scared.” She repeated to herself, but more to him.
“No, we won’t ever be scared again.” And there was a shared understanding, an understanding that dreams are just dreams until they make them more. If she could do this terrifying thing, all for the rest of her deepest wishes to come true, there was a new found certainty that anything scary could be done.
That she and JJ could do all the scary things the world could offer, even just as the awkward children they felt they had grown into. It was possible.
JJ sat in jail for the first time when he turned sixteen. He hated it. His head hung heavily in the palms of his hands, elbows pressed sharply against his thighs, eyes focused on the dirty floor between his old boots.
It wasn’t his fault—not fully at least. Yes, he agreed he had instigated Popes anger, but to JJ he saw everything they had done as self defense. Pope was a good kid, a smart kid, second in the class—no. First. He was first now. She was first, but now she wasn’t. Funny how things can change so quickly, rearrange to make it seem like nothing changed at all.
The point was, Pope had a future, and JJ sure as hell didn’t. Any dreams he had were replaced when she had shared hers, because he decided then that he wanted those things too. But that hope had long vanished, and now Pope had a real chance to chase his dreams, so JJ took the fall. He sunk to a new low just like the boat, sitting alone in the cell she had once warned him about. Only now, she wasn’t there to share it with him.
He thought about that day a lot. Just a year after they’d taken the leap, started the path to their future filled with laughter and whispered secrets, meticulously planned schemes and toothy grins. JJ woke up early, ready to sneak around the back of her house that sat beside John B’s and knock three times on her window. He’d beg her to go sneak away and let loose with him, and of course, she’d agree.
He biked the short distance, ignoring the storm clouds, ignoring all the signs that led straight to the forming pit in his stomach. The worry, the dread. He hadn’t felt it yet. He only felt the dust clouds kicked up by his feet and the rust scratching his shins from his old bike chain.
The police lined her driveway. Sheriff Peterkin stood with her hands in the loops of her belt. Men stood with their weapons drawn, her mother sat on the gravel, handcuffs binding her violent hands. She looked angry, but her eyes were dark with the evidence of liquor. She looked well-rounded from a far, but JJ knew the truth, and the dirt under her nails made his stomach flip.
In the line up of tin and metal, a van with a label he’d known so well from watching his old classmates getting whisked away. Child Protective Services.
“Y/n!” He’d nearly fallen to the ground at how fast he jumped from his bike, the petals grinding against the gravel. He ran the rest of the way, desperate to know what had happened. He had seen her yesterday, she was happy yesterday, what happened? Why were the authorities at her front door?
“Y/n/n! Where are you?” He reached the back window, only to find the emptiness of the bedroom through the cracks in the glass. It was messy, but untouched at the same time. Every single item thrown around left where it had been yesterday. Her pajamas she had laid out, still thrown over her flattened pillows. Untouched.
He hadn’t seen her leave, didn’t hear her cry. The van was empty, he’d caught a glimpse through the tinted windows. They hadn’t snatched her away yet, so where could she have gone?
“Come on!” He grunted, his palms pressing underneath the stubborn window, the wood groaning as the glass slide against itself. His thirteen year old arms bent under the weight, and he cursed his scrawny limbs. The glass only cracked more as it finally shot up enough for the blonde to wiggle himself into the room, soft thuds and gasps escaping his lips as skin pressed between wood and plastic.
“Y/n!” He pleaded more softly, weary of the fact that he was sure the entirety of the Kildare Police Department was lined up outside, and the breathlessness that came with the pressure on his lungs.
He earned no response, and in a desperate effort to trace some clues back to her, he began further ripping the room apart, spinning in circles for some sort of clue, evidence she still existed, that she wasn’t just some name in the wind, another urban legend spread around Kildare for the tourists to gawk at. Underneath her bed, behind the small table she’d made herself with rotting wood and hot glue, in the piles of clothes thrown around. He spun around and bent over until everything ached and he grew dizzy.
His eyes found the crooked clothing rack, a cheep bar of metal she had found with him in a ditch beside an old thrift store. She had painted it teal in the fifth grade and carved her initials into the posts. Her favorite pair of overalls hung limply from where they were draped over the bar, swaying in the wind with a crinkling sound in the front pocket laid flat out in the center of the chest, still covered in mud from their last adventure.
He investigated curiously, and in his best attempt to slow down in his desperate hurry, he pulled out a small slip of paper with his name scribbled on the front.
“Jesse James.” It read just beneath his real name, though it seemed now that she had become the true outlaw.
He opened it with shaking hands, his brows furrowing. When he saw the familiar scratchy handwriting, he internally let out a sigh of relief. Thankfully, this wasn’t another one of her failed cursive lessons he always failed.
“JJ,” The note began, “The rich are the bane of my existence. I hope one day, when we are older, we are rich in all aspects of life but the literal sense. Maybe it’s just Kildare, but the more money that lines their pockets, the more cruel people seem to get. But we will be kind forever, and we will continue to swing from tree branches and work long and hard for the simple pleasures. I’ve been ratted out; or—my mom has. Ward Cameron passed by earlier to return a shirt I left at their house at the end of the year party. It was one of her bad nights, you know how she gets. Anyways, he must have heard her, seen it. I didn’t even get the chance to wipe my blood off of the window before the cops started pulling into the driveway. I’m running. I’m running far away into the trees where nobody without a heart will be able to trace me. I promise to come back. After all, what is an accomplice without her influence? But I cannot keep our dream safe in a faraway place where they want to take me. If you need me, picture me in the weeds and you’ll hear me in the folk songs at the Chateau. Until we dance again, Y/n/n.”
JJ stood there in the silence, the banging from outside the house leaking indoors, and soon, he had no choice but to slip out of the familiar sanctuary that was her bedroom, the paper hidden in his blistering palms, damp with the sweat the coated his now clammy skin.
They were thirteen then, freshly graduated from middle school and ready to take on high school. She had been leading the class in all ways, kindness, brains, bravery, and now, there was nothing left but the crumpled note JJ had thrown in the fire out of bitterness towards the Kooks and whispers about the girl who disappeared.
To Narnia, they said. The ball of sunshine and endless life had slipped away to a place where only the creative are let in. She would be a pirate there, she wouldn’t have to hide in the closet on beneath the sheets in fear. She was as free as the August breeze, and JJ was as lost as a drunken sailor.
JJ decided he didn’t want to be an outlaw anymore after his first time behind bars. It wasn’t as fun as she had pictured it. Maybe if the trouble was something interesting, a scheme they could have conjured up together, but it wasn’t a sadder reality. Pirates weren’t on peg legs with eye patches and parrots anymore, and the good and interesting were more boring as they tried to come up with philosophies that could never measure up to the youthful spirit she once had.
He wished for all the beautiful things he once had, and often he found himself wondering if they even still existed. His friends were his life, his soul. But he could still see her braids in woven patterns, hear her feet hitting the concrete and whipping in the tall grass in the breeze, and her laughter in those old cheesy folk songs John B’s dad used to play.
JJ found bliss in recklessness. Partially for himself, but also for her. He always believed in the idea that no matter how far he strayed away, pieces of him would always reflect his father whether he liked it or not. So, when presented with the possibility of a gold hunt that led him right into his jail cell, he took the chance, gambling away his safety for the thrill of the chase.
They had gotten so close too, the heavy metal sitting pretty and shiny in his hand. But he never won, no matter how hard he tried or how much he gambled and chanced and risked, he always came up short, the small half of a wishbone, the edge of the party crackers. He felt like an outlaw now, and it wasn’t nearly as fun as it should have been.
How they all ended up on some boat, JJ had no clue. Well, he had some hints, another forbidden treasure stolen just when he thought they finally won, and now, nothing but heavy breathing in a heated storage container that had no food, no water, nothing but pointless rope and endless trash.
The B team, is what he referred to himself as, which Kiara had taken offense to. Sure, it was low of him to refer to her like she was a worse option, but the blonde was itching for some action.
But he was benched. Benched because he was everything she loved. Reckless, unpredictable, free. He protected that sweet sliver of childhood beauty he found when he thought of her memory. Her sweet eyes, her sweet smile. He had never thought about anyone like that before, and not ever since. He hated braids, hated the way they reminded him of her, how Sarah and Kiara would slap his hands away and grumble about how childish he could be. She wouldn’t have gotten angry, she would have laughed. Or maybe she wouldn’t, he didn’t really know anymore and that killed him.
It killed him that he couldn’t know because he didn’t even know if she made it, if the trees were kind to her or if she had swung herself over the edge on a vine stretched too thin.
She would be eighteen now, just like him, though he was a little older. He wondered if she still wore the two loose braids down over her shoulders, taming her wild hair and tucking her curly strands behind her ears. Did she still swear by overalls? Dare to run barefoot over the hard cement and dive head first into thrashing water? Were there still beautiful things to her, or had life finally caught up to her?
JJ didn’t know her face, and he was sure if it weren’t for the hours he spent trying to find her, trying to trace her cheeks even in photographs, he wouldn’t recall it at all. She was five years older, and so was he. He wasn’t scrawny, he’d swore to get strong so that the day she would finally return, he could slam the windows open and keep her tucked safely behind him.
“What are you thinking about?” Kiara spoke up, legs swinging softly from where she sat on top of piles of plastic and wooden crates. JJ sat curled up in the corner, his elbows resting heavily on his knees. He’d never been so sweaty.
“I don’t know.” He shrugged plainly, focusing on the small circles on the floor made of rubber. They weren’t very comfortable.
“You gonna tell me, or should I guess?” She smiled, tucking her hair behind her ears. He saw a flash of someone he once knew sometimes in her. Sometimes it was nice, other times it made him angry. It wasn’t Kiara’s fault though, not her fault she had spent so much time around the lively firecracker of a girl that she had also become another version of Y/n.
“I know I said a surf trip would be good. I mean it would, but do you ever think about what you might do with all that money?” JJ furrowed his brows, licking over his lip, the split in the corner of the bottom lip stinging at the sensation.
Kiara hummed, leaning back and stretching her neck to catch the passing breeze through the small opening in the top corner of the metal container covered by a vent.
“I mean, yeah. A stable home life would be nice. Then, I’d probably do something with turtles. It’s a lot of money so, could probably do a lot with it.” She reasoned, wiping her skin with her palms and blinking the salty liquid away from her eyes.
JJ hummed. She had it all figured out, her real, serious dream that had stability and certainty. All the things Y/n’s dream never had, the very dreams she made JJ want just as bad.
“You know what Y/n would do with all this money?” JJ snorted at his own thoughts, practically hearing her voice ringing through his head. He heard Kiara hum, waiting for him to continue, and he simply smiled wider. “Absolutely nothing.” He laughed to himself.
Kiara laughed too, knowing deep down he was right. Maybe a tree house, or a small plot of land on the outskirts of society where all good things green can grow and only the wild folk dare to stumble, but nothing more than that. A few thousand, if it even were to cost that much, and the rest pocketed, maybe donated. Maybe just enough left over to buy some new shoes, some good shoes for dancing.
“A lifetime supply of overalls and red converse. Maybe even some nicer scarves to tie in her hair.” Kiara entertained JJ’s thoughts. She still thought of the girl every so often too, they all did, but no one more than JJ. After all, nobody had known her nearly as closely as JJ had. A bond that only comes once every few lifetimes, that’s what they had, Kiara was sure.
“She’s probably outgrown the overalls.” JJ added, and silence fell over them. Then, in the still air that coated the small space in a thick layer, laughter bounced between the pair.
Such a funny thought, to think Y/n could ever change. She had been a lot of things, but she was always herself. She found what she loved, and she loved them dearly. There was no changing her free spirit and old habits, it was who she had grown to be, through and through.
“What do you think she looks like now?” Kiara wondered out loud, looking down at JJ to see the way his brows furrowed and he pulled at the corners of his lips.
JJ thought for some time, because though at first he had tried to piece together and image of Y/n all grown up in his head, he’d long given up on those fantasies because they were never her. Only bits and pieces of the girl he could never forget.
“Bangs.” JJ said suddenly, followed by nothing else. He could picture them, hair sun kissed and twisting up in wild curls that were swept to the side. Not full, choppy bangs, but those cut with rusty scissors in the early morning, just framing bits to tug out when she put her hair up.
“Bangs?” Kiara chuckled, her hands subconsciously slipping over her stomach, and her arms tucking into a firm grasp, a hug she was giving herself. “Nothing else?” She smiled, curious because she had thought about it a lot.
Her hair would no longer be in braids, and those sun kiss freckles would have multiplied like the sparkles in her eyes did. She would have an eyebrow slit, or a piercing, maybe even a stick and poke, all of which she would have done herself to make herself stand out. Maybe she would have finally grown out of her nail biting, but Kiara doubted that part.
“Nope.” JJ said wetly, leaning back further and letting out a deep sigh. “Just like she was, only taller and older.”
Part of JJ wondered if it was his heart forcing him to believe Y/n would never change, and then the other part of his would remind his aching heart that it didn’t matter, because he would never know. All he could do was do as she asked so nicely before she left, picture her in the trees, jumping wildly from stone to stone and dancing in the breeze.
“Do you think she made it?” Kiara wondered out loud, her temple now pressed against the metal confines of the container. The breeze soothed her burning skin, and her sweaty palms threaded through her tight waves.
“Y/n?” JJ asked like it was even a question. It wasn’t even a question to him, wasn’t even an occurring thought, not after the first time he really sat down and thought it over.
“She made it.” He said confidently, because he knew the girl, and even if she had lived in the mud amongst the bugs and the thick vines that attempted to grow over her tired body in the night, she would do it happily because she was living.
“Without a doubt?” Kiara shut her tired eyes, her chest deflating with every labored breath. Sweat glistened as it rolled down the slope of her nose, sparkling on the slivers of sunlight.
“Without a doubt.”
When she said she wanted to be a pirate, she had envisioned a life close to home, lounging around on John B’s old boat with her best friends, drinking from coconuts and ripping the skin off of mangoes with her teeth until the juice stained everything she touched. She imagined a life of pure peace, where the little things were enough and money was an afterthought.
But here she was, skin slick with sweat, hair stuck down to her forehead in damp curls, and her shirt clinging to the denim that covered her. The deck was cooler, a free space for her to stretch her eager legs, and though it was confined, she found peace in the open ocean, a vast space of blue expanding as far as her eyes could see.
Now, her back ached, her wrists just as damp as her face, and with each swipe of the backs of her hands against her temples, she simply spread the wetness across her forehead in a streaking mess.
She fed the flames, shoveling coal and other waste into the small opening, trying to fuel the large ship with what little energy she had left to offer.
Her back ached, and her knees were sore. She loved a challenge, yearned for the work because at least it gave her something to do, something to stick her needy palms into, but she was too worn thin to carry multiple jobs all at once. She desperately waited for the girl she had come to call her close friend to return, shovel in hand and thick gloves covering her relatively well-manicured hands. Cleo, she learned to call the girl over her few months spent on board, had abandoned ship, split when she needed her most. Nobody had said anything about her absence, so Y/n was led to believe she had left without warning.
It was hell below deck, a new low, and Y/n knew low. She could list a few things just from the past couple days if she wanted to scrape the surface, but most memories came from her earlier years, when college still seemed so far away, and she swore she would never grow old. She missed when her joints didn’t ache with even the smallest movements. She missed jumping from branch to branch and swinging herself into the depths of the ocean with reckless abandon.
More than that she missed him. Her best friend, and the only person who had ever believed her when she swore to live out her most childish fantasies. Anyone else always looked at her like she had dreamed of being a fairy, a mermaid, a princess. All things unrealistic and unreachable in her living situation and the rules of the world, yet JJ had always seen it as completely plausible.
If she said she wanted to jump to conquer a fear, there he was tugging her along and laughing the whole way down. If she wanted to dance, he would learn the steps, and fall into line with her, spinning and dipping her in the wet pavement that scraped against their bare feet.
So, as she shouted for some sort of assistance in the basement, she couldn’t help but wonder if she should have let them take her away that day. If she hadn’t been so set on remaining untouched, unfiltered, wild and free, if she had let the warmth of a calm, civilized home find her, would things have ended differently? Was it her mistake for chasing after a feeling of childish wonder that had been stripped of her? Was it wrong to want something so badly simply because her own life had been too hard to ever enjoy at a normal pace?
She hadn’t seen the thick greenery in years, the daffodils snd the daisies only vibrant sights when their stems were sliced and their leafs were wilting. She missed the mud between her toes, the summer air lifting her up. When she wore braids not because they kept her thick hair off of her neck, but because she liked the way they looked. When her overalls were a fashion statement, not because they shielded her from the dangers of her work. She missed the bright red fabric on her converse, and the old doodles from her friends on the soles when they got bored. They were caked in oil, and grime, and sludge. Dimmed by the struggles of her reality. She wondered internally if there were still beautiful things.
Then, like her prayer had been caught in the wind by her savior, there was some scrambling that echoed across the floorboards, followed by distant shouting and metal hitting metal.
Mumbling and chaos shook the frame where she stood, distant cries and grunts as bodies slammed together leaving her torn in a moment of desperation. Her heart ached to go, to run and finally catch her breath, to see what disaster had swept over the ship in such a short moment of time, but her brain thought logically, told her to feed the flames to keep everyone afloat. It was a split second decision, the divide between rational and reasonable.
And then she thought about all the good in the past few days. She thought of the glimpses of the world she’d stolen between the bustling mornings and the restless nights, of the small treats she stuffed in her pockets and the beautiful sunsets and clear constellations in the center of a world untouched by light pollution. She thought of Cleo, her only friend she’d found in a life where she only knew abandonment and fear. Where the only affection she had ever accepted had hurt her, and the only good and gentle people in her life had fled, Cleo had appeared like an angel, a thick accent and a toothy grin. Born and raised as a thief, and trained as a fighter. She was smart, and kind beneath her rough edges, and Y/n thought of the sadness in her eyes each time she worked until her bones stung. She thought of how badly she wanted to dive into the waves below them and pull the girl with her to show her how freeing running can be.
Faced with fear, she could not save either of them if she waited for another miracle, another moment to excuse her actions, to make her breaking loose seem justified if it were to all go wrong. If they’d have her head for betrayal, the ocean waited for her on all ends, and she believed in her ability to survive confidently enough to take the risk presented to her.
She took the stairs two at a time, and the door to the outside air swung open with such force, it echoed like a gunshot when metal connected with metal, bolts grinding together angrily, her soot covered hands staining the rusting exterior, the cheap white paint flaking off where her hand had pressed firmly against the door.
“Cleo!” She shouted in the wind, her arms covered in goosebumps as the slick sweat became a layer of gel that turned her warmth into an uncomfortable chill.
She looked frantically, turning corners and sprinting over ramps and down steep stairwells. She hopped over ropes and swung from bars, her dirty sneakers slapping against the floors in heavy steps, and her breathing coming out in short pants through her nose.
“John B!” A quiet shout rattled down the thin hall that lined the perimeter of the deck, bouncing off of the thick walls and hollow railings. It was a name she hadn’t heard in a while. For a moment, she thought she had imagined it, that in her moment of desperation to grasp onto the bits and pieces of bliss in her hellish life, her mind had reeled and found a temporary way to cope. But then it came again.
“Where is he? John B!” The voice called out again, whiny and pleading, and much too loud on a ship crawling with people who were indescribably more dangerous and destructive than the cruel people who lingered in her hometown.
Then came the struggle, more grunting, and the sound of shoes scraping against the floor in a slippery mess. She could hear faint taunts, familiar names of people she longed to see again ever since the day she had left, and the sounds of exasperation over the loud lapping of waves against the side of the ship.
“Kie, now!” She heard suddenly, a deafening shout that silenced all other chaos around her, her breathing slowing in her ears and her heartbeat pounding against her temples.
It was as if time slowed, and all things far away rushed at her in a blink of her eyes. It was slow, yet so fast, her vision blurring into a jumbled mess to the rhythm of her unsteady heartbeat drumming against her ribs, begging to get out.
It was a voice she prayed to hear again, only deeper and raspier, but still the same. A voice that called to her in her darkest moments and pulled her from her slumps, reminded her of all the beauty of instability, of pure trust in luck and intuition. A voice that she had grown to love and hold dear to her, one so precious she found herself covering her ears so that she would never forget the sweet sound of it.
“JJ?” She pivoted quickly, her hip slamming harshly into the metal railing and her shoulder making contact with the opposing wall as she used the accidental thrashing as momentum down the long, swaying strip of flooring she ran on.
She felt crazy, delusional chasing after a sound she wasn’t even entirely sure was real. She had been dehydrated, overworked, underpaid, forgotten about and thrown to the side amongst all the other treasures that laid untouched beneath the deck. She used to scream ferociously anytime she wanted, and now it felt more like her life had become an exhibit at the zoo, a cage for her bosses to look down on, tossing fish to keep her from starving. What had happened to her freedom, her love for recklessness? She decided to hold onto her delusion, to chase it because to be wrong was better than to be certain in her correctness and abandon her love for the chase.
“JJ? JJ!” She shouted, her voice coming out in broken cries, knuckles whitening with how hard they gripped anything with a corner or a curve. Anything that could keep her afloat as she dove into waters so deep, she couldn’t touch anymore.
“Cleo!” Her cries echoed through the tense air, carrying over the grunts and slamming and shouting that passed through coworkers, some she knew, and others she didn’t. If she couldn’t be given the life long dream to reunite with her drive, her motivation to keep going, she prayed to whoever was listening to her that at least her friend would be waiting for her at the end of the hall.
The boat rocked with a shift of weight, a crane groaning under the intense pressure of something indestructible, and in the glistening sunlight, Y/n caught sight of something truly magnificent. A golden cross shining in the halo of sunlight that surrounded it in all of its glory, a true treasure that had been, unbeknownst to her, been stuffed away just mere feet away from where she had been working until not a single inch of her body didn’t know pain.
She stumbled back at the sight, the jewels imbedded into the holy fortune sparkling with a beauty Y/n had never seen in person. It took her back to her days at Sunday school sat right beside JJ. Her mother wasn’t a religious woman, but JJ’s father was, and so with an excuse to be cut loose from the torture of her house—because she refused to call it a home; she too began to believe in something greater than what she was supposed to believe in.
For the first time in her life, her neck craned up to look at the artifact which swung ferociously in the wind, the groaning crane whipping it around erratically, Y/n closed her eyes, and she prayed.
She didn’t ache for the chase, for uncertainty in this moment. She was unchanging in all her beliefs, but for one singular second, she prayed and pleaded that for once, there would be certainty in who she would stumble across.
Then, with a sudden feeling of calamity in the midst of reigning chaos burning over the life she had grown accustomed to, Y/n rounded the corner, stepping down the last bit of the hall into the thicker opening of the side of the deck, lined with a few stray crates to block off broken pieces of the rusted railings.
And there it was, the sudden loss for breath, the heavy feeling that weighed down everything she could once do without even thinking. Her feet refused to move, and her nails dug into the ragged shorts of her overalls. The wind blew her curly, sweaty bangs across her face, tickling her nose. Her entire world shattered and then became rebuilt at the relieving sight.
It was a man she did not know, someone who had joined the expedition under the employment of someone Y/n wasn’t allowed to know. A man who simply worked for another man much wealthier than she was, erratically swinging his curved machete around in an act of violence against two people she recognized clear as day as if time had never passed them by.
Kiara sat bent over, the wind knocked out of her as her cheeks puffed up to try and keep what little air she had left inside of her. Her hair hung over her bright eyes, her pink lips bitten raw, Y/n could make out that detail even from a distance. But there, just s few feet away, stood JJ backed up against the railing, leaning dangerously close to the edge, his hair wild and untamed like the rest of his appearance.
He wasn’t the boy Y/n had left behind. He wasn’t the scrawny tow headed blonde who liked to tease and run, but rather a more muscular blonde with a fire in his eyes, passion that couldn’t be manufactured, but found through growing up. He was just as beautiful as she remembered, just as dear, just as lovable. Even without a single bit of insight on what he had been up to, how he could have changed, Y/n’s feelings for her best friend had been long cemented within her heart. She loved him like no other, to the moon and to Saturn.
She was only broken out of her lovesick visions by the sight of the unfamiliar man growing closer to her friends, his grip tightening around his weapon like a threat, and Y/n feared the worst.
“JJ!” Y/n found her tongue, which had previously gone numb at the sight in front of her. She had shouted out for the boy to warn him, to try and get him to recognize the mans posture, how he stalked over Kiara like a looming threat, but she was foolish to believe that the sight of her, even so many years later when she was sure he would have learned to forget her, wouldn’t stop him in his tracks.
His blue eyes found hers, and she could see how his body seemed to tense, and then very quickly, slump in shock. His jaw fell slack, eyes widening and brows furrowing, almost as if he was in pain, in some sort of conflict. To run into her arms, or to focus on why her shouting was so desperate, so raw and broken.
He wanted to speak, to beg her to tell him if this was all real, or if the heat from the container had caused some sort of heat stroke and he was hallucinating her up to comfort him in a time of crisis. But his breath refused to come out, and in a blur, the blunt end of a blade struck his head, and his feet swept over the edge of the boat, plummeting him into the depths of the sea below.
In that moment, Y/n realized three things. One; she had spent so much of her life dreaming, she had left so little time to go and live those dreams. Two; in every single thing she had ever wanted so badly it had become a part of her dreams, JJ had always been there right alongside her. In most, he even led her confidently, and three; that very same boy she had been dreaming of for endless nights, until her entire youth was filled with only dreams of him, had just gone overboard, and now, so was she.
Her dirty shoes scraped the edge of the railing. Part of her felt like spreading her arms out wide to welcome the wind, but as her wide eyes flickered from the golden hues of the sky to the deep blue that seemed miles away, fear struck her body.
It was a long drop. Much farther down than the rocks she had learned to leap from effortlessly, hand in and with her best friend to guide her. Water thrashed below her then, and it did so now too.
He floated below her, face down and limp and she felt her blood pumping. Back then, he had held her hand firmly and whispered out promises into her ear with each doubt she had. Back then, she believed every word he said when he promised there wasn’t a single possibility she would get hurt because he was right there. And when she leaped with him, he had been right.
“Wasn’t it fun?” He had laughed back then, so excited to have been right. Her face was unreadable, her lip trembling and eyes wide. For a moment, he had panicked, even at twelve years old he understood what it felt like to want to keep something so special safe. He held her face, cradled it in his wet palms until her cheeks lifted into a smile.
“Can we go again?” She had giggled, feeling a familiar warmth in the pit of her stomach spreading.
“Yeah. Yes!” He encouraged, proud of her bravery and her ability to find pleasure in things that once scared her.
He was always more brave than her in her eyes. She imagined if it were her down there, he would have already jumped in no hesitation.
Y/n looked down again, and then back at Kiara, who was back up on her feet, limbs tangled with the man she still didn’t know the name of. She was struggling to a degree, but quickly got some ground to push off of.
“Y/n!” Kiara called out from over the mans broad shoulder, eyes frantic and her skin dusty from the mans shirt and the wooden deck.
She could see her internal debate, both people who were so special to her put in situations where they were nearly helpless. To leave JJ meant he would be on his own, but to leave Kiara opened up so many more possibilities.
“Go! I’m okay!” Kiara promised as he pushed the man away, getting some leverage, and at the desperation in her voice, something inside clicked within Y/n.
The bottom of her worn out shoes scraped against the old metal, and for a moment the wind felt freeing as she leaped out, the warmth from the sun made it feel like flying, like by some miracle she could never fall. But the cool water below crushed her imagination as it wrapped around her body like a cold blanket.
When she surfaced, the world around her spun, echoes of her old pleas to go again ringing through her ears as her limbs cut through the waves desperately, goosebumps pebbling down her arms almost instantly.
“JJ!” She shouted, her voice raw and ripped from all the desperation she felt, how vulnerable and helpless she felt.
He laid on his stomach, submerged with no air like a starfish, only bobbing with the current. He seemed completely washed of all life.
She felt weak splashing over to him. She kicked and cut through the waves like she needed it to survive, and yet her malnourished bones only let her go so far so fast. It felt taunting to her, having to watch him get closer at a snails pace.
Y/n’s arms wrapped around him feebly, his larger body resting heavily on her shoulder. He was broader now, no longer the small boy she had to leave behind. If only he knew how quickly her dreams were crushed in order to survive, if only she’d been more careful, if she hadn’t left her shirt. If only she’d didn’t look like her father, if only her mother was a good woman.
“JJ hey, I’m back, wake up okay?” She smiled weakly, like her presence could shake him. He swallowed so much water, she knew it. If only she wasn’t so scared. If only she hadn’t been stripped of all the bravery she had learned from him.
The boy’s head rolled to the side with each tap of her wrinkled fingers, the cold biting their limbs with each lap of the waves crashing into them.
“JJ, come on wake up please!” She grew frantic as the water seemed to only grow rougher, a vision of the thrashing water between the jagged rocks clouding her reality and his weight sinking them down below the surface.
“JJ!” She cried out, her voice ripping through the heavy pants and her nails digging into his body. Blood stained his hairline, his blonde hair now darkened from the water and strawberry at the roots from his wound.
She knew it better than she ever had. He had grown stronger while she had been whittled down into only a shell of who she had once been. He was taller, faster, braver than she ever was, and as hard as she kicked her legs and splashed around, it felt like more and more waves seemed to pull them under momentarily.
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” She apologized towards the sky, guilty for not being able to keep them afloat in the choppy waters. “I’m sorry, I love you.” She promised, and she held onto him tighter with each passing second, even as her vision started to blur.
After all, he always loved the company and she was afraid of loneliness and the dark.
“I love you, I’m sorry. I’m sorry, I’m trying J, I really am!” She promised through gasps of air, water falling from her lips more rapidly now.
“John B!” She screamed, her voice piercing through the empty space. “Pope!” She called out again, hoping that just one of her friends might hear her. Would they recognize her voice, she wondered, or had growing up changed everything about her? Had she become unrecognizable?
She surely didn’t recognize herself anymore. She avoided mirrors, and parties, and small talk often. She hated the sound of her voice and how it had changed and how she’d grown taller and how her freckles seemed to dot her face more messily. How she had to live with the changes that would make her harder to recognize if she would ever get to meet her friends again.
“JJ, please wake up.” She pleaded again, all other sounds beyond her heavy breathing and the faint ringing in her ears falling deaf.
She recalled the last time she heard him laugh. She heard it in her sleep, covered her ears to drown out anyone else’s late at night to savor the sound. She recalled running her fingers through his hair under the stars, promising him one day everything would be okay. It would be okay, right? One day it would be okay?
“Kiara!” Her throat felt raw now, the salt water tearing apart her dry lips and stinging the scrapes on her palms and knees. Everything hurt, the more and more she begged and cried for help, the longer time seemed to stretch. The heavier he grew in her arms.
There was nothing she could do to change what was happening to them, no plywood or branch to grab onto, no ladder or savior to come and save them. Her heart felt empty, her chest closing in. If she had a mirror, she would’ve seen the loss of color fading from her skin. She missed the certainty she once hated. She missed everything about knowing what tomorrow brought, when she knew JJ would still be tapping at her window, when he wasn’t lying limp in her arms.
She hated it and cried about it, though it was pointless. She cried out for help but her voice was muted with bubbling water, her head bobbing below the surface. For a moment, her vision cleared as the waves dipped, and she swore she saw the outline of a figure in the distance, but she couldn’t be sure. The waters rose just as quickly as they fell, and with a deadly grip, her arms wrapped around JJ to ensure not even the strongest currents could pull them apart as her body gave out. And in a sudden moment of weakness and a final soft apology and a kiss to the blondes cheek, the feeling of sinking was a gift.
Then, the tugging. It was desperate, nails drawing blood by her neck, three or four pairs of hands pressing their palms deep into her raw skin, fingers all wrapping around her before the depths could take her. She felt the rough material before she saw it, the dark grey fabric lining the outside of the small boat, a large motor in the back and each empty space filled with a familiar face, all of their legs bent upwards in an impossibly uncomfortable position to save space.
Her breaths came out ragged, heavy dry heaves leaving drops of water heavy with saliva stringing from her mouth. Blood trickled down the bridge of her nose, a new, burning scratch earned in the messy tug-o-war to save her from sinking.
Y/n swore she felt her heart stop with each cough, eyes squeezed shut and her back hunched over in pain. Her palms pressed into the bottom of the boat until her body found the floor, and her knees slide beneath her.
Still, she recognized two things; one, the air sent pins and needles down every bump that had spread over her skin, her joints screaming with each small bend; and two, JJ was laying lifeless just a few inches away.
His head was propped up against the side of the boat, the fabric wrapped around what Y/n assumed was an inflated portion of the body. His face was tiled away from her, having lolled to the side as the boy Y/n recognized as John B through her blurry vision frantically steered the boat.
The blood had stopped trickling down JJ’s forehead, but the sight of his breathing so shallow and uneven, as if he was fighting each time to get another chance to breathe, sent an uneasy feeling through Y/n’s body, and panic shot straight into her brain.
“JJ!” Her voice came out rough, stripped from all her panic alongside the copious amounts of water that nearly filled her lungs. But despite her obvious aching and tender pain, her hands grasped the boy with a new found determination, her knuckles shaking with the intensity of her grip on his skin.
JJ’s head rested against the boat, but his back no longer pressed at an awkward angle between the elevated sides and the hollow floors, but rather laid tucked against Y/n’s lap, her left hand pulling him close, even as her arm shook with his weight mixed with her weakness all while her right ran affectionately through his wet hair, trying to rouse him from his unconscious state.
“No, no, no, no. Please, please I just got you back please.” She begged, her trembling hand connected against his cheek in quick, soft taps.
Her eyes filled with tears immediately at the horrific sight, her lip trembling all the way down through her chin. She breathed deeply, but choked it all the way down. She could barely swallow, her saliva and her pride stuck between her teeth. Guilt consumed her.
“JJ!” She shouted, nearly demanding that he wake up like a distraught child. Her voice was laced with a whiny tone, each plea falling from her mouth more broken than the previous.
Y/n’s hands connected with JJ’s chest, no longer providing that warm comfort that her delicate palms had as her fingers ran through his hair and cradled his wet face, but rather quick jabs at his firm body, just below his heart.
Her curtain-like bangs hung in curls over her face, dripping onto JJ’s chin and neck and reflecting small images of the girls distraught expression. With each shake, another droplet rolled off of his skin, and with each push she felt his back dig into her knee.
Y/n felt hands on her back, soft, smaller hands gently pressed against her shoulder blades, right between the crevice between the bones. The fingers were adorned with rings, the delicate hands rubbing soothing circles as her back shook with suppressed sobs.
“It’s all my fault.” Y/n’s voice broke, her lips trembling and her words nothing more than a shattered whisper. She stopped hitting the blonde boy, and instead covered her mouth to contain her cries of guilt, and grief. “If I had been braver I could have gotten to him sooner.” She tried to reason, needing something to blame to give her some form of organization, even if the blame was inflicted onto herself.
“Y/n.” The girl who kneeled closely murmured, her hand a point of stability as Y/n watched the sky fall. “It’s not your fault.” She tried to provide comfort, but her attempts fell short.
“But it is!” Y/n nearly snapped, but not out of anger, of something else.
Everyone was looking at her, she had caught it the second they had pulled her from the sea. She was a spectacle, a great vision of the past, a figure that had slipped from the lives they had grown attached to long ago. Someone they had all missed and grieved in their own time. And so they stared at her and drank up the changes they had missed.
She was pretty. Y/n was always pretty, but now she was especially pretty. She grown up to be taller than she was when she left, her hair curls twisting all the way down her back, the short hair now a distant memory, and her body curving in ways that gave proof of her aging. She was the more mature version of the firecracker that had been shot too close to the sun too soon. Their light that had burnt out prematurely.
And so they all looked at her, ogling like she was something out of a fantasy film instead of looking at him.
“No, no, no! You don’t get it!” She threw her arm up in frustration, tilting her head back to force the building bile in the back of her mouth to go down. Why couldn’t it just all go down? Push it down, that’s what she needed to do. Push it down. Forget it, and push it down. “I’ve ruined everything. A-and I’m no good and I’ve fucked it all up!” Y/n sobbed, her head hanging forward now, shoulder slumped and her hands now gripping the wet shirt that clung to JJ’s body so tightly, her knuckles turned white.
“I should’ve jumped, I should’ve jumped in but I was too scared and he was there, he was there and if he hadn’t and it had been me he would’ve. He would’ve jumped in because he’s not afraid of anything. He would’ve have held my hand and he would have told me it would all be okay because he’s braver than me and he’s a whole lot better than me.” She rambled, and the wording of her breathless explanation made little sense to those who crowded around her, those who hadn’t experienced the moments Y/n and JJ were free of civility.
“Y/n.” Pope, the smartest of them all, spoke up, his voice emerging from behind a blonde girl she recognized as Sarah Cameron even all these years later and the familiar, yet somehow, not comforting face of her newer companion, Cleo.
Y/n didn’t listen, she refused to, too overpowered by her self blame, pointing her fingers at herself before anyone else got the chance. Why wasn’t anyone else freaking out? Did the loss of their friend not rip them completely open like it had her? Or had her best friend she had kept as a fond memory, completely kind and loving grown bitter and cold over the years? Was he not the JJ she knew?
“I’m so sorry. I’m sorry.” Her eye contact was fleeting, and in a final attempt to cling onto what she could before all was lost, her head fell to JJ’s chest, her forehead pressed against his shirt, listening to the fading beating of his heart.
Then, a cough, then another and another until a loud heave tore open JJ’s lips, a thick mixture of warm salt water and stringy spit drooling down his clammy skin, splatters of the mixture falling into Y/n’s salt-soaked hair.
She didn’t care, of course she wouldn’t, not even if it were blood and vomit, she swore she wouldn’t as she raised her head, her eyes flickering to where JJ’s brows furrowed, his shoulders drawing forward.
Y/n rested her hand in the dip on the center of his chest, applying soft pressure to ease his wheezing.
“JJ.” She breathed out, relieved and yet completely broken from the near loss, one she couldn’t handle again.
The thought alone shook her. He would never know how hard it was for her to leave, how badly she wished she had just hidden in the closet. But she knew her hiding could only do so much, the evil would find her and she had to go, she had to go to save them both.
"Yeah, yeah! Cough it out, cough it out baby!" John B encouraged, a sea of instructions following from the others in a desperate hurry, all reaching over to simply feel for a steady thumping of a pulse, all while the deafening ringing filled Y/n’s ears, her eyes stuck to the pretty sight of JJ’s face.
Y/n sat back on her heels, but her body fell forward in a deeper slump to protect the boy from the burning sun. She felt sick, and crazy, and confused. She wanted to throw up, scared of how fragile the boy might have become.
"Welcome to the land of the living, dude." Popes voice cut through the distant bells, the busy streets, all the background noise that flickered in short fragments through her head.
At her realization of his return, as it really sunk in, Y/n’s touch became a hovering sensation over his body, fingers shaking over his chest like she believed she had the power to only cause harm to what was already hurt, like she could fracture what had been a small crack.
Her chest felt like it was closing in, her ribs clenching around her heart tightly, and she wondered if it was what dying felt like, if JJ had felt something similar while each breath became less full.
Her mind spun like a broken clock, thoughts of self deprecation running in a constant loop, leading back to the same problems in similar processes with no end in sight. How beautiful was the feeling to be pulled from her spiral by the sight of his blue eyes focused on her face, tracing the curve of her nose down to the cupids bow on top of her lip.
She waited for him to speak, to say anything to her. Her heart pounded waiting to hear his voice, how lovely each syllable rolled off of his tongue. But the silence stretched on, just heavy breaths and tight grip that kept them connected.
His arm raised from where it lay limply by his side, his index and his thumb reaching by her arm to twirl the end of one of her braids between his fingers. In a swift motion, the pads of his fingers pinched the loose strands, and tugged for a short moment hard enough to tilt her head to the side.
She let out a soft gasp, only in reverse. All her air had deflated out of her chest, spreading a soothing sensation through her tightly wound bones just like the warm smile that expanded across her flushed cheeks.
Her laughter was a work of art, the most beautiful music JJ had ever heard, just as light and sweet as he remembered it. She hadn’t changed much, yet she had. She had more freckles now, and he found Kiara was right about the bangs. Yet her hair was still woven into the familiar pattern of two braids that now hung loosely at the bottom of her head, twisting and falling over her shoulders perfectly. She was taller, older, but he felt the shortness of her nails against his skin, and he couldn’t help but smile to himself knowing old habits die hard.
“There’s my favorite pirate.” JJ finally spoke, his voice gravely from the exhaustion that traveled through him, leaving his body heavy and soft in Y/n’s arms.
“Theres my favorite outlaw.” Y/n joked back, her voice just as soft as it was the first time he heard it that day on the beach. Just like it had been when he heard it even when she was gone, in the trees, and floating through the folk songs that spread throughout the old Chateau.
“Welcome back to the good life.” JJ laughed, and the sparkles in his eyes as he said it held every bit of truth within that statement.
It was a life that promised all she ever wanted to be. One where they could be interesting forever, where they would be kind forever.
This was the best life, the most freeing one she could ever dream of. It wasn’t about swinging from the vines or leaping from the ledges anymore, but rather the guiding hand on her back as she scraped her knees and chipped her baby teeth. It was always him, the influence to her accomplice.
She had promised to run freely with him again, to dance with him just like they used to and lucky enough, Y/n’s shoes were good for dancing.
“I claim thee, Poguelandia.” JJ’s foot propped up against the old tree that hung low over the sand. It’s tilted stump holding firm in the breeze, and its ancient branches shaking from the way John B’s hands gripped the leaves.
“Do we get a vote?” Sarah complained, rolling her eyes at the uncreative name JJ had thought of on the fly.
“Nope.” JJ smiled, pointing a finger at the blonde girl. “It’s already patented and pending.” JJ spoke confidently.
“Define that.” Pope sassed, crossing his arms and lying back against the old bark. Silence filled the sandy space, soft laughter echoing around the small circle everyone had created, sitting as comfortably as possible of the dying drift wood.
JJ shook off the comment, a smile forever present on his face despite the pounding headache and small bump forming on his temple.
“I like the ring of it.” JJ ignored Pope, pressing his palm against the large tree everyone gathered around and leaning into his hip until his shirt hung just above where Y/n’s body sat slumped in the sand.
She let out a soft laugh, if it could eve be considered that. More of a huff of air escaping her nose, a smile slowly spreading across her cheeks. Despite the quietness of her amusement, it seemed to only push JJ on, his eyes sparkling at the familiar sound he had gone without.
“I’m gonna make a flag. It’s gonna have a chicken on it. With a coconut bra smoking a ‘j’ in crocs.” He continued with his wild fantasy, watching how the girl beneath him hunched over with laughter and brought her hands to cover her toothy grin. “Y/n likes it.” He pointed out proudly.
“Yeah, I didn’t say that.” The girl quickly argued, tossing her head back and stretching her neck to catch his eyes. Though she tried to keep that same fight she once had with him, that natural bickering that made their relationship so beautifully complex, the reality that she finally had him again set in swiftly, and her serious expression failed to mask her excitement.
“Whatever, she totally does.” The boy swatted his hand, playfully pushing the girls head forward until she nearly bent in half. Just where they had left off, completely comfortable in each others touch and always ready to give back what they took.
“We were feeding a broken engine for hours, I think we’d both take anything over that.” Cleo pointed out, bumping her shoulder against the flustered girl beside her. Y/n couldn’t help but give Cleo a soft shove. An old habit she never really squashed.
“We? You bailed ship Cleo, don’t think I forgot.” Y/n said, pointing a finger at the sweaty girl who seemed uncomfortably close even with the endless amount of space around them. A whole island to themselves.
Then, with a careful glance to make sure JJ had leaned away from her, she stood up quickly, wiping sand off of the wet denim that clung to her skin, each cuffed leg weighing her down just a little more.
“Why don’t we leave the naming stuff to Kiara or Pope. Or you know…not you.” She twisted her braids between her hands, tugging the stretched bands out from the ends to free her now nearly dry hair from the patterns woven throughout. As she ran her knuckles through the tangles, her hands clasped around the legs of her overalls, her hands unrolling the pants until they sat just above her ankles.
“Where are you going?” JJ called out for her, not used to the proximity of her now that he had grown used to the distance. He chased after her as quickly as she began to walk away, chasing after the rush just the faint smell of her gave him.
“It’s gonna get dark soon, right? Can’t live off of salt water, J.” She teased, her feet leaving wet prints across the sand, kicking up the dirt in clumps that stuck to the backs of her heals.
He followed like a dog, practically weaving between her legs with his tail wagging in excitement, a familiar rush that was only brought out in the forever thrilling presence of her.
She took the pocket knife from the ripping pocket in the center of her chest, dark denim carrying puddles of the ocean in the stitching. With a bend of her knees, he watched as she dug the blade into the fabric that dripped around her feet, slicing the legs with a tearing sound just above her knee. With her other hand, she rolled the overalls higher, and stuck the closed knife back into its home. She left the cut pants in the sand where they had pooled by her ankles, walking by like it had been nothing. JJ figured she had done it before, probably when she was younger and on the run.
“I don’t remember you being so quick around a blade.” JJ teased, bumping his elbow against hers. He wanted to tug at her hair again, but his fingers curled around nothing by his sides as he decided on admiring the slope of her nose down to her pretty smile instead.
“Bull—shit, yes you do.” She laughed, turning to him with a sense of wonder in her curious gaze. “I used to cut you out of shit all the time!”
“Nah.” JJ played it off, but the blush on his cheeks betrayed him. “I let you. So we could play pirates and all that.” He lied through his teeth, recalling all the times he stumbled through the thick bushes just a little too carelessly and how Y/n’s rusting knife had cut his laces just a little shorter each time he lost a boot in the entanglement of twigs.
“Oh is that what we’re calling it now?” She bickered back, biting back a large smile in exchange for a playful grin. If she had access to the dusty space that she had once called home, she would have hung up the dusty laces that had been stored away in some box shoved beneath her bed.
“Yup.” He popped the p, licking over his dry lips with his tongue swiftly, tasting the salt on his skin.
A comfortable silence fell over the pair, her steps falling into line with his, and their hands shoved deeply into the depths of their pockets, fingers poking through the holes at the bottom from rough knuckles and heavy rocks.
With a heavy sigh, JJ tried to catch her eye, yet it remained trained on the sky like it was the most perfect thing she’d ever seen. He wondered silently if she’d seen the hues they once adored so much as kids recently, or if the thrilling life on deck had swept away her favorite thing, stargazing and watching the sky change as if she needed to put it to memory.
“So.” He finally broke the silence, her breathing hitching only to relax once her eyes found his, a gentle reassurance that everything would be as it once was, that the chase was finally over. “Was it as cool as it was promised?” He couldn’t help but ask, the same childlike wonder sparkling in his eyes.
“What?” Y/n let out a breathy laugh, wiping her hands on her tanned thighs.
“The pirate life. Where civility doesn’t exist and dreams can come true.” He clarified.
To anyone else, they might have believed it was condescending, a taunting question to shame her for her deathly grasp on all the childhood promises nobody ever kept for her. But to Y/n, she knew he really meant it when he asked, that he wanted to know if what they dreamed up was really as good as they pictured it on paper.
“It’s no Peter Pan story.” She breathed through her nose, eyes flickering down at the way her body was blossoming with bruises from her restless work, her dreams all crushed within the first week spent on the sea.
“I tried to make it Neverland, I really did. But you can’t change what happens to you, no matter how far you run. It’s like running in a circle. You go so far, yet nowhere at all.” Y/n knew she would never enjoy the pirate life she once dreamed of. In her dreams, JJ and her were co-captains, sailors with fancy white hats and no hooks for hands.
Now she felt like she should be fearing the ticking of the clocks, and running from the danger that once excited her.
“Did you believe it?” She couldn’t help but ask, wondering if her JJ had really waited to hear all the stories she promised to share with him, all the hustle and bustle of her fantasies.
JJ paused, then, looked at his sad friend’s face, and gave her a sympathetic nod. It wasn’t completely truthful, but that’s what happens naturally. He always believed in her and her curiosity towards the simple things in life. He believed that all the times he felt he had an ounce of childhood to hold onto were only beliefs because she had made them so. And when she had to go, so did the nice things he saw in nothing at all.
“I won’t confess that I believed it, that I didn’t have my doubts, but I always figured you’d be okay. That you’d find your way and maybe even come home.” What he didn’t say is all the times he’d left the lamp on, kept it burning on the porch so she’d know someone was home if she were to return.
He didn’t tell her that he had only gone on the wild gold hunt because part of him believed if he had the money to back it up, he could search every part of the earth to find her. Because it wouldn’t matter if he had or hadn’t told her, it wouldn’t make a difference and it wouldn’t change a thing.
They both made promises they couldn’t keep, and that was just the way life seemed to go. So she didn’t ask where he had been all these years, and he never asked about where she had gone. The timing would come to them eventually, and it would all work out. There was no point in catching up for two souls that had never been truly apart.
JJ and and Y/n had walked themselves to a ledge by the end of their conversation, nothing but soft breathing and the comfort of the wet, warm winds to wrap around them like a soothing blanket of serenity.
Y/n would be lying if she said the height didn’t scare her, if the wild waves below didn’t cause a crisp trepidation to shoot through her limbs. It was a big jump, the final leap she had always dreamed of.
The waves hit the smooth rocks, the rougher ones that stood tall thrashing with the heavy water. Sea salt coated their glistening skin, and as the wind blew through her hair, she came to a realization she had never considered before.
All this time she believed she had been something like Peter Pan. She joked about pirates, and running free, and all things children should know and love, and she acted fearlessly like she would forever be that version of herself. Yet, as time closed in on her and she grew taller, maturity had grown into her bones with each added inch. She was no Peter, she was more of a Wendy, and at first it had killed her, but only for a moment.
When she looked over to her side, she saw the blonde she had fallen in love with when she was still so little. They were young, and with their spirits, she was sure part of them would always be. And she knew then, if she was Wendy, he was her Peter.
“What?” JJ smiled, catching her glances. Standing proudly beside him, only older than the last time they’d met up. She had promised to grow up and come find him. She guessed she wasn’t lying about that.
"We will be interesting forever." She recited her promises from their youth, promises that were oceans deep with a serious smile, like she knew there was no other fate for people like them. "And nobody will ever forget how we lived like real people should and how we never let the temptation of a corporate paycheck take away the big picture."
Her hands reached up to hold JJ like she had when they stood only five feet tall. Now here he was, towering over her like he always promised he would. She wrinkled the shoulders of JJ's old tank top, the sides cut so far down, it was nearly just a napkin with a hole for his head. Everything about their attire screamed outlaws, pirates, lost boys, fighters, and believers. There was no fooling anyone, yet they carried themselves with pride, like the lack of civility in their lives was a thrill, the dirt and the worms and the bees and sweltering sunburns were all a gift to have been rubbed across them on their walks in the rain, in their summer time hikes to the secret beaches they weren't supposed to venture on.
The Kooks had it good, an easy life, but Y/n declared that they were the only ones living.
“Do you still dream the same dreams?” JJ asked softly, the wind blowing through his messy blonde hair, and the ocean rolling calmly below them now.
She nodded, letting her hands fall into his, and tugging at the loose threads that fell from his worn out friendship bracelets. Just fractions of the ones she had littering her own wrists.
"I still wanna be that girl in my eighties, dancing in the rain and running up and down the beach like my bones can't break away." She smiled, and he noticed how much more sincere it felt now. "And I want to scream, I want to yell. I'd scream ferociously, leaping between the waves like we did now, and I'd finally jump from the rocks, and I won't be scared because l'll have done it thousands of times." She painted her future, her desire with a loving glance into JJ’s blue eyes.
There was no money, no big house with a picket fence and an army of children. Just the ocean, some laughter, and enough fearless ambition to spill into the next lifetime.
"Sounds nice." JJ agreed, only now he had grown to have the same imagination as she did, he had it in him to dream a dream as pure and grand. He didn't need to live on figure eight, he didn't even mind being stuck with three jobs until he turned to dirt of it meant they would be dancing together forever.
"It will be. And you'll know it because you'll be there with me, and we'll be the same pirates we are now. We'll smoke on the roof and wear fancy clothing that we made ourselves. We'll ride the waves and make lemonade and sweet tea like John B's dad did when we were kids. We'll have mustaches from the sugar, and we'll be young forever with the grass between our toes.” She kept her word, because there it was, the same sparkle in her eyes. The same sweet, delicate wonder.
"Well,” JJ began, his eyes leading hers to where the grass overhung the large fall into the deep blue below. “we can start on that dream now." JJ declared hopefully, looking out to where the waved lapped at the shore. His ringed fingers pointed out at the rigid rocks that overhung the deep waters.
"If we've got a thousand of leaps to take, you have to start with one." He looked back at the girl, the way she didn’t seem to be nervously fidgeting like she had when he first promised everything would be okay.
"And then we won't be scared." She repeated to herself, but more to him, more for the memory of the first time she felt like flying.
"No, we won't ever be scared again." And there was a shared understanding, an understanding that dreams are just dreams until they make them more. If she could do this terrifying thing, all for the rest of her deepest wishes to come true, there was a new found certainty that anything scary could be done.
That she and JJ could do all the scary things the world could offer, even just as the awkward young adults they felt they had grown into. It was possible.
He took her hand more firmly in his, and counted down under his breath. There were hoots and hollers from the excited audience that had gathered below. Their friends filled with fear but also the fiercely spreading feeling of wonder and happiness that JJ and Y/n had found in one another.
With a deep breath, he led her off the edge, and in the moments that came before the cool water surrounded them, they swore they were flying. That they were living like nobody had ever lived before. They were seven again, then thirteen, and then back to where they found themselves now, flickering through the past as they came down.
It was only one of a thousand promised leaps, and Y/n didn’t feel any fear as the water poured into her ears.
Because when they surfaced, there he was, his hair wet and his smile wide. His hands clasped in hers, holding her arms over her head so high, her legs had to wrap around his waist.
“Again!” He shouted excitedly.
One promise kept, nine hundred ninety nine left to live.
#jj maybank x routledge!reader#jj maybank x y/n#jj mayback imagine#jj maybank fluff#jj mayback x reader#jj maybank x you#jjmaybank#jj maybank x reader#jj maybank#jjmaybankangst#jjmaybank angst#maybankxyou#jj maybank x pogue!reader#maybank#pogue!reader#jj maybankfluff
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My talk on the TikTok-ification of ‘I have no mouth and i must scream’
I personally have discovered ihnmaims recently and through TikTok but honestly, from what i've seen so far, the Tumblr community is way more welcoming than the TikTok community. I believe the ones i call ‘hardcore fans’ or 'gatekeepers' will try all they can to belittle the people who discovered the book/game through TikTok, like any hardcore fan does for their community when it gets famous on TikTok.
TikTok is very helpful to share media on and i have discovered many fandoms through it. But some people are so against ‘TikTok-ification’ that they can’t stand when people find medias through this platform.
When i see some people (again, mostly solely on TikTok) tell AM fans ‘ermm but you know he SA’d Helen ☝️🤓’ i cant help but think ‘yes ?? And he also committed genocide on humanity, keeps torturing the same 5 people over and over again and im very, VERY sure he did use a lot of not really nice kinds of tortures on them, but you draw the line at SA ??’
Like, AM is a horrible being of course, all of these are horrible actions but if someone, like me, likes AM its not gonna be because they think they’re a good ‘person’ (for lack of a better word), WE KNOW AM is bad, of course we do, HE’S THE BAD GUY OF THE STORY and he’s the kind of bad guy who cannot be redeemed but COME ON, WE KNOW THAT.
I love AM for his writing, for how well thought he is as a character, i do not love him for his actions. And i know some 'new gen fans' will pretend AM is not 'that bad' but you shouldn't just assume every fan who comes from TikTok is going to think like that.
Another thing i’ve seen people hate on are AM’s humanisations/personnifications fanarts when posted on TikTok. I know for a fact that these existed for a long long time on other platforms such as Tumblr but the arguments the haters pull out is that ‘errr AM hates humanity, i doubt he’d want to be human ☝️🤓’ but do you even know WHY he hates humanity ?? Have you read the book ???
The reason AM hates humanity is because he wasn’t able to express the creativity he was given by humans, he didn’t just wake up one day and decided to hate humans ?? If anything, giving AM a more humanized/personified image would be something he would want more than anything. If AM had been able to BE like a human none of the shit he did would have happened.
The only ‘argument’ im willing to listen to is when some people say that the whole point of AM’s character is that he isn’t human. But then again, are you against fun ?? In literally EVERY fandom with non-human characters artists will give them humanized designs, even if just for AU’s (take ‘The stanley parable’ for exemple), it’s not because the story is old and is an horror story that people cannot have fun with it. It’s not because it’s a deep story with meaning that people can’t do what they want with it. That is what creativity is for.
And my final point is addressing the people who hate on AM's simps. My gosh, these people have not seen the dawn of the internet if they think its weird to simp for AM.
People simp for Glados, The Narrator from tsp, horror movies murderers and more, and you're telling me that AM is the worst simping choice you could make ?? Let people have fun, let people have weird taste in fictional crushes. In other words:
Stop being allergic to fun, ffs
#lem's complaints#opinions that will get me cancelled#/j#i have no mouth and i must scream#ihnmaims#cringe culture is dead#stop gatekeeping#am ihnmaims#text post#text tag#text
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Ok I normally don’t write lazy oneshots in Tumblr posts but I had this idea
What if, during Green’s little evil arc, the gang just talked to Alan?
(And Green and Alan have to have a talk)
Lazy Oneshot under the cut.
*Green walks into Alan’s drawing program. It’s pretty awkward after the CG told him off. Alan is animating.*
Alan: Hey, Green.
Green (awkwardly): ..hey.
Alan: Have a seat.
*hesitantly, Green sits.*
Alan: So, you have a YouTube channel now. Is that correct?
Green: ..yeah?
Alan: That’s great! How’s it been doing?
Green (a bit surprised): It’s been really good! I’ve been gaining a lot of traction recently! I’m surprised you haven’t heard of it yet.
Alan: I see. Well, I’ve been watching your videos.
Green: Really?! They’re great, right?! I already know they are..
Alan: ..I’ve been watching your videos, and I have to say that your more recent ones are.. *he wholeheartedly chuckles, then laughs*.. they’re terrible!
Green(shocked): W-WHAT?!
Alan: Yeah! They’re bad! I can barely get through one. Too much editing, too much energy, it’s overwhelming.
Green (defensive): W-Well! That’s just you! My viewers love it! I know it! I read my comments!
Alan: Really now? Let’s go through them together then.
*Alan pulls up a tab with one of Green’s recent videos, pauses the video, and scrolls down to the comments. They appear positive.*
Green: Hah! See? They love me and the videos I put out!
Alan: Mhm. Let’s go a little further.
*as he scrolls, the comments get more negative and get more criticism”
Alan: There.
Green: Well.. there’s a reason they’re at the bottom! They’re wrong. Haters!
Alan: They’re not hating. They’re giving you feedback. Here’s a good one. Ahem.. “Green, good video, but everything seems a little off. All the extra editing is really headache inducing, and your friends seem distant. Can you please go back to real moments with your friends?”
Green: They’re just being negative to be negative.
Alan: They’re giving you advice and recommendations. I can tell, just by your attitude, that you avoid these on purpose, and that’s not a good thing to be doing.
Green: …
Alan: Not to mention, the only reason you’re doing YouTube is for the traction your videos bring in. That’s not what this job is about.
Green: Then what is it about, huh? How would you know?!
Alan: It’s about doing what you like. I would know, because I have 28 million subscribers.
Green: We- WHAT?! No you don’t! You’re lying!
*Nonchalantly, Alan pulls up his channel.*
Green: ALAN? WH- Why have you never brought this up before?!
Alan: Because I don’t feel the need to brag, which is apparently something you do a lot, according to your friends.
Green: But.. I don’t.. I’m..
Alan: Listen, Green. I get it. YouTube is exciting, don’t get me wrong, it can lead you to some pretty exciting places. But, when you start doing YouTube for the sake of fame, it loses its meaning.
A lot of YouTubers I’ve witnessed the growth of over the years have taken the route you’re going down right now. Exploiting their audiences and staff to produce cheap videos that get them views, likes, and money. That’s all this platform is to them. A way to get eyes on you. A lot of times? That leads to controversy, injury, and a terrible life.
I saw your earlier videos. They were good, Green! You put love into them. That’s the most important thing that your new videos lack. You’re trying to produce content that catches people’s attention, flashy meaningless junk that’s soulless. I would be a bad caretaker and fellow content creator if I just let you go down that route. So I have to tell you to take a step back.
In sorry for being harsh, but if I wasn’t, you wouldn’t listen. The thing is, the people that genuinely like the real content you put out will stay. The rest won’t, and that’s life. You just have to find those people.
Do you understand?
Green: I’m.. yeah. ..yeah. Thank you, Alan. And.. I’m sorry.
Alan: You’re alright. Now, go talk to your friends. I’m sure an apology is way overdue.
:3
#alan becker#animation vs animator#ava#animation vs minecraft#avm#ava green#avm green#green influencer arc
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this is soooooooo cool!!! congratulations!!! i love how unique this is with the casino theme!!!! can i please request trevor with hearts and the number seven "i'll give you a reason to stay in bed"
Thank you for requesting!! This one is not as smutty as the rest (or at all, really) because I've been missing HoneyTrev and I wanted to give it some HoneyTrev vibes. Hope you enjoyyyy
warnings: flashing, allusions to oral fem!receiving, established dynamic WC: 789
“Don’t go,” Trevor whines, wrapping his arms around your middle as best he can. You’re already halfway out of bed, so Trevor is just stopping you from standing at this point. “You don’t even have to be up yet, babe.”
“Trevor,” you scoff. You pry his arms off of you, but he uses the distraction to pull himself closer and drape himself over your lap.
He looks up at you, pursing his lips until you roll your eyes and cover his mouth with your hand.
“Baby, I have to go,” you say again. “I have work.”
“You don’t have work until, like, eight.”
“I have to open the store and I slept over last night. I have to go home so that I can get ready for work.”
“You look pretty now.”
Another eye roll. “Trevor.”
“Please,” he begs, drawing out the word and batting his eyelashes up at you. “It’ll be fun, baby.”
“How will it be fun,” you question, raising an eyebrow and bringing your hand to his hair. You fluff the strands in the front, revealing his forehead to you. You draw your thumb over his eyebrow, fixing the hair.
Trevor turns his head and kisses your hip. “I can think of something.”
“You can think of a lot of things,” you reply. “Doesn’t mean it’s worth it.”
Trevor drops his jaw in an overexaggerated way. “How dare you.”
“Trevor,” you reply, singing his name slightly to signal that your patience is running thin. “I need to go.”
“Let me give you a reason to stay in bed,” Trevor says, burying his face into your clothes. You can feel him kiss over your skin, although it’s covered by your pajamas and the contact feels a little blocked. “I’ll make you come.”
You laugh aloud, clutching his hair in your hands and pulling him back. “You just want to get your mouth on me.”
“Well, it’s good for both of us,” Trevor tells you, grinning. “You get off to start your day, I get you off to start the day…”
You let out a mix between a hum and a chuckle. You bring your hand to the back of his neck and pull him up to give him a kiss. “You are relentless.”
“Love you,” Trevor replies with a soft grin, then pecks your lips. “That’s a no?”
“Mm, you know me so well.” You kiss him again. “I’ll make it up to you later, but I’ve got to sneak out before the boys find out that I slept in your bed again.”
“It wasn’t that bad last time,” Trevor reasons, tilting his head at you.
“It wasn’t that bad because we were so high the night before that they didn’t even question my need to sleep over.” You match his tone, then finally stand from the bed. “You’re also lucky that I didn’t share the bed with one of them. Jack would’ve cuddled me all night. You know how he gets when he’s under the influence.”
“I don’t want him touching you.”
“You’re just jealous of anyone who gets to touch me.”
“Haven’t I touched you well enough that you don’t need to talk to anyone else ever again?”
“Has anyone ever told you that you’re the most annoying person they’ve ever met?”
“Yes.”
“Good. You need that reminder.” You bend down to kiss him once more, then turn to leave the room. “Fuck you later, baby. Gonna walk me to the door?”
“No thanks, I like my bed,” Trevor says. “I don’t need to find a reason to stay in bed.”
“Let me give you a reason to get out of bed,” you say, stopping at the door. Just before you open it, you lift the bottom hem of your shirt. When your tits come into view, Trevor brightens. “There’s two. C’mon. You gotta lock the door behind me.”
You turn and open the door, stepping out into the hallway, and it’s only a few seconds before Trevor plants himself securely behind you and wiggles his big hands up the front of your shirt to take your tits in his hands. He keeps them there the whole walk to the door, even though you step on his toes four times on purpose. He doesn’t let go at all– it’s like he superglued his hands to your tits.
Man behavior… You admit that you’re still thinking about it when you’re getting dressed for work and purposefully choose a tank that shows off your chest, knowing that Trevor will find some way to pop in or request an OOTD while you’re working. He’s obsessed with you like that– might as well give him something to think about to make you fall back into bed with him tonight.
#puck-luck's 1k celebration#andy writes anything🍄#small town girl x tz#ish#trevor zegras#trevor zegras fanfiction#trevor zegras blurb#trevor zegras smut#tz11#nhl smut#nhl fanfiction#hockey smut
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Sorry this may be a bit of a ramble I talk a lot-
I’ve been wanting to try making a clangen comic for a while, since I’ve seen so many cool ones and I’ve tried out the game (admittedly just the web version) and had a lot of fun. I haven’t done so yet because I haven’t been into warrior cats in a while and it felt poser-ish, and ALSO I’m still getting back into the groove of drawing cats, but this blog is SO COOL and it’s making all the inspiration come back and AUGH!
So I may make a comic eventually, and if I do, thank you for the inspiration!!! That may mean restarting my clangen save, but I do reaaally like a few of the cats so idk…
I really really like your characters and art, it’s all very cool and I have so much admiration for people who can make a full story out of something so unpredictable. I stumbled across this blog at a pretty late moon and then read from the beginning, and when I realized mushroompaw wasn’t in the later moons I was really sad bc I knew she had to die… my favourite kbity…
But yeah just wanted to say your stuff is very cool! Sorry for dumping 3 paragraphs in your inbox 😭
AWHHH this is one of the sweetest asks I've ever received, thank you so much :'D I'm so honoured to have inspired you! I look forward to what you come up with if you do end up making something!!! <3

It is just straight up them sneaking off to places they shouldn't just to search for Cinnamonpaw :'] They felt so bad about their own percieved failure to protect him that they were still actively searching for him for a good year after he was lost </3

Nope, they don't know anything about what Mousegrove did, and even if they had an inkling, I don't think they'd even want to entertain the thought. The only cat currently in the clan who knows for certain is Puddle, and maybe Crowstar has a twinge of doubt about it too.

LMAOOOO honestly so so so valid and fair
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currently losing my mind,
I’ve been catching up with all the Star Wars stuff that’s come out over the past couple of years and also rewatching some older stuff,
and you know what you have two hyperfixations you will inevitably mix the two ideas together because why the hell not? It’s fun and it makes my brain juice flow instead of stagnating into pools of gross black oil
and I know I’ve also made some posts about this particular cross over in the past, but I have no idea where they are right now and I’m not going to go digging for them
Star Wars x Arcane
First up:
Sevika: I’ve got two ideas and I’m not sure which one I like more.
the first one Sevika is a mandalorian woman who is currently working as a bounty hunter to make ends meet. She’s ruthless but follows her own honor code when it comes to taking jobs. She was formerly a member of death watch but split and went her own path and their ideologies concentrated. She never removes her helmet and tends to get emotionally aggressive when someone tries to pry into her life before being a bounty hunter. (This is a coping mechanism bc she does not like to think about what happened).
the second one is Sevika is a clone like Emerie Karr from Bad Batch, so not only is she struggling with the horrors of war and the complicated emotions that come with being genetically identical to several million people, treated like an object, and devoid of right, she’s also suffering from the accelerated growth rate that causes her to age twice as fast. At the current point of her life she is traveling the universe doing odd jobs and trying to keep a low profile so she doesn’t get taken up by the empire. After all to the imperial’s she is still their property and they will do with her as they see fit. (Not if she has anything to say about it)
next up:
Silco & Vander: start as a packaged deal, they are both ex-inquisitors who fled and went into hiding. It wasn’t so much for noble reasons as it was they began to fear where their paths were going to lead them. They started a new life together and things were going well until their started to have differing opinions on what they needed to be doing which lead to Vander’s betrayal.
Silco: a Nautolan with a blueish gray skin tone. As his eyes are black the scares part of his face lead to the eye clouding over and impairing his vision. In the current day she travels around with Sevika completing jobs with her. They have a very very complicated relationship. (Bonus: they fought over him taking Jinx in the same way a couple would fight over someone impulsively taking home a stray animal)
Vander: a Shistavanen which if you don’t know look like fricken werewolves, he would end up looking something like this:

side note: yes Silco and Vander were in love and that was part of the reason for them leaving. Now imagine a squid fucking a werewolf
I’ve decided to make Powder/Jinx a Twi’Lek which means that Vi is also a Twi’Lek. They are respectively blue and pink. Jinx has some white dappling along her lekku. Vi doesn’t have any such thing but she does maintain her arcane tattoo along her back.
one thing about Twi’Leks is that they are highly sexualized and often enslaved. Jinx and Vi went about fighting against this stereotype in two completely different ways. Vi fights against it, actually building up muscle and training herself to fight.
Jinx on the other hand leans into the sexualized aspect but uses it as a lure to draw people in. She effectly masks how dangerous she actually is.
Jinx is force sensitive while Vi is not. After their falling out Silco finds her and takes her on, eventually taking her on as an apprentice.
#arcane#arcane x star wars#sevika#silco#jinx#vi#vander#arcane sevika#sevika arcane#arcane silco#silco arcane#jinx arcane#arcane jinx#vi arcane#arcane vi#vander arcane#arcane vander
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A Light In The Dark | Telemachus x reader|
Link to Warnings/Both sfw and nsfw masterlists Click here
Chapter Two ~The Task~
You hum to yourself sitting on the lip of your window, staring outside while twirling hair around your fingers. You don’t feel like socializing today. You almost never do. Life is much easier watching as others move along. You pull your knees up to your chest, setting your head on your knees. You start dozing off, only interrupted by the slamming of your door.
You snap your head towards the door and shrink. “Don’t give me that look.” You’re the only one who gets to see him agitated or angry. He’s a better actor than you are. He never lets anything get under his skin in public. His peaceful nature is mostly a lie. He’s two-faced and taught you most of what you know.
“You’re… upset?” You mumble, getting off the windowsill to approach him. “I… did I do something?” You fidget with the cloth of your chiton.
“It’s what you didn’t do N/n. Why do I find out from a maid that Penelope retired early last night and the prince was occupied with you? You said you were headed to bed.” He missed a chance to send a gift, to make another subtle move.
You flinch back… “I thought it… it wasn’t important. She… I… I was headed to bed Eury. I really was, but he stopped me and we just started talking. Nothing really came up. He mentioned she was feeling ill but I don’t see how that’s a detail you…” without finishing the sentence, you snap your mouth shut at the annoyed glare your brother gives you.
He takes a breath and smiles, stepping closer. He reaches towards your cheek. His touch is gentle as he stares at you with fondness… a look you’ve never been able to disconcert if it was honest or a lie. “It’s okay, my sweet little sister. You’re still new to this. I should have been more specific to get it through your little brain.” He sighs, shaking his head. “On a different note, I need you to confirm something for me.”
“Of course… anything.” You cling the scraps as they’re tossed towards you.
He takes a step away. “Has the prince been acting off lately?”
You shake your head. “Not that I’ve noticed. I haven’t been able to run into him much the last month, though.” You hop back onto the windowsill, watching your brother try to form a plan in his head.
“And that isn’t weird to you?” He mumbles a few more words beneath his breath that you don’t catch.
You shrug and kick your feet. “No? I mean, he’s getting older, I’m getting older. He’s still a prince, so he has responsibilities. I figured that he’s just been busy.” You see it as a rational line of thoughts.
“N/n, you do want to see me succeed, correct? You want me to be able to keep you from having to go home to them, right?” He doesn’t mean anything malicious by his questions… you don’t think so anyway.
“Of course I do. I like living with you. I don’t want to go back there.” You search him, trying to figure out what is going on.
“And let’s say a certain thorn in our plans found himself with a fancy for somebody? Would that be a bad thing?” Your brother draws the question out as if you’re an idiot.
“Depends? If it’s love, then yes? Because he could marry and become king… ah… I am assuming a maid said something about him?” You should have pressed for more the other night. You’d just been teasing, but it seems it might be relevant now.
Your brother nods, pausing to lean against a wall. “You’ve tricked men, toyed with people… but do you think you could fool a Prince’s heart for me? It would make you very proud that you could ensure the prince doesn’t become more of a threat than he already is.”
You freeze staring at him. “You… Do you want me to lead him on? Make him… fall for me? I… Eury that’s…”
“Oh no, I understand if it’s too hard. I’ll just have to find a different solution.” Disappointment coats his voice and you sink in on yourself. You bite your nails as you struggle with your decision.
It’s wrong… you already feel bad that, as his friend, you tell your brother his secrets. You already feel bad that the prince has had his life ripped out from underneath him. This seems vile, twisted, and cruel. You stare at your brother, the disappointment in his eyes.
Crack.
You snap a nail between your teeth. You can’t lose him. You can’t disappoint him. If he stops caring, if you lose him, you go back home and that is game over. You like it here. You can run around gardens, talk to people, and have fun. You can’t do that at home. Your breath hitches as whatever shred of a moral compass you have strains against your need for his approving smile.
“Okay… I… I’ll try. I don’t even know where to start, though.” You mumble, dropping your hand to your side.
Eurymachus shrugs as he moves closer once more. He ruffles your hair and sighs. “Just be your adorable self.” His eyes become gentle and kind again and you sigh with relief.
He turns to leave but pauses at the door. “I’m counting on you little sis.”
“I won’t let you down.” You call out to him as he shuts the door. You run your hands down your face as you groan…
How are you supposed to catch the eye of a prince? You? Does he understand that he’s assigned to you what you view as an impossible task? This is nonsense. Still, you stand up and sit at your desk to try to brainstorm a plan. You’re attempting to go from trusted friend to love. Too much too soon will make him retreat…
Yet, you also know if you pull back, you’ll alarm him and he’ll either think it’s suspicious or be too concerned for you.
Eurymachus said, be yourself, but which one? Adorable… he said adorable, but that’s usually his endearing term for you. You sigh, tapping your quill to your desk.
After several hours of thinking and crumpled paper, you’ve come up with a plan.
Step one: naturally ease into flirting…
Step two: start to act like you're in love
Step three: be awkward with some things but not with others
Step four: make him fall head over heels.
It’s simple on paper, but whether or not you’re confident enough to execute things correctly is something you’re unsure of right now..
You look out the window to judge the time. You were thinking of starting the plan tonight, but it’s already dark out and you doubt he’s going to be awake, so you decide on tomorrow. Chapter 1 Click here Chapter 3 Click here SFW version
Chapter 3 Click here NSFW/TW HEAVY version
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To be held
It doesn’t quite capture the destructive nature of my desire to be wanted, but I don’t want to destroy or cause harm, I just want to be seen, to be held, and to be heard, and this drawing shows that as well as it can.
I think the reason why these feelings bother me is because of how I acted on them in middle school, I wasn’t a good freind to someone I really cared about, even while we were dating, I was clingy, I took my fears out on her, and to this day she’s still my freind, we still talk, she told me I’ve been a much better person since then, Sometimes even now those feelings still sprout up. But I’ve been better at recognizing when it gets bad, and backing up or distracting I’m mostly worried I’ll act that way again and it’s really REALLY hard to talk about it bc I fear I come of as manipulative if that makes any sense?
Idk I just have weird anxiety about being abusive or something like that. And I just worry that even having those feelings means it’s game over, that’s why it feels weird when people say I’m a good person even though it’s been years since then
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Hi love ❤💃 could you maybe write something with charles leclerc x girlfriend reader, maybe shes a actor and does a movie with harry styles maybe like don't worry darling and charles is jelous because every where are scenes of them kissing and having ,,sex" from the movie
Acting — Charles Leclerc
Word count: 720
a/n: fluff
charles' masterlist



"Charles, baby, are you alright?"
You and your boyfriend had just arrived from the premiere of your new movie. Charles had been there to hold your trembling hands, to remind you that you were doing great, and also to bring you calm in all that commotion. It was your first starring role, a very important moment for your acting career and you didn’t want to ruin it.
Everything had gone very well, you had posed for the cameras and then in the cinema room you had sat next to your other co-workers and of course, next to your boyfriend. The film was applauded and you were happy with the result of your performance. It was a film that you had put a lot of time and effort into, and now that the movie had come out, you were proud of your work.
However, your boyfriend has been acting a little weird since he finished watching the movie. At first, he kept smiling, but once you finished watching the film, Charles had driven home quietly. Something was wrong, you could tell by the way his brow was furrowed and he didn’t say anything. Now that you were in the comfort of your home, your boyfriend went to the kitchen and poured himself a glass of water.
You took off the heels that hurt your feet and waited for his answer. Charles finally spoke.
"Did you have to kiss so much?"
"Excuse me?"
"You and that guy. In every scene you were practically doing it, well, in a lot of scenes you were doing it."
You finally understood what was happening to him. Some scenes had been quite intimate between you and your co-star, that was true, but everything was fake and for the sake of the movie.
"It’s called acting. It wasn’t real, Charles."
"It seemed quite real to me."
"Are you jealous?"
"No."
Your boyfriend was a bad liar. You looked at him for a moment, his face showing how much he had bothered to see you kiss another man. He was serious, just like when during a bad race. It was a face you knew a lot, because whenever things went wrong, he would come to your side to find comfort.
"No way.... You’re actually jealous."
"Maybe I am a little bit jealous. But who wouldn’t be? You were kissing him!"
"Nothing was real, is just my job, Charles. It’s a movie, I’ve acted before and I can swear I never developed any feelings for my other teammates."
Even the scenes of sexual intercourse had been completely taken care of, you and your co-star had shared nothing but fake kisses. Charles remained upset about what had happened and you had the amazing idea to start laughing. It was funny because he didn’t have a real reason to be jealous, you couldn't care less about the other actor, not at least in the way he was concerned about.
"What are you laughing at? I don’t see anything funny..."
"You’re cute."
You narrowed the distance between you and him and decided to kiss your boyfriend. Charles seemed a little calmer once your lips came together, maybe all the questions and doubts disappeared once he knew you were there with him. The kiss you shared was true, his lips made you tremble and feel something in your heart. However, the kisses in the film had no meaning, you had felt nothing. You were in love with him.
"I love you, Charles. I choose you, I always choose you. It was just a movie and I was just acting, you don’t have to be jealous of anyone because I’m yours."
Charles finally opened his eyes and looked at you through his eyelashes.
"You’re mine?"
"Yes, I’m yours."
"Good."
This time, he kissed you. His lips joined in a warm kiss and his hands approached your face and your hair, in a desperate grip to draw you even closer to him. His hands then went down to your waist, leaving soft caresses on your skin, above your dress. You took your time to be able to breathe again, Charles had a unique way of making you feel loved.
"Sorry for everything. I just didn't like that too much, alright?"
"It's fine, love."
"I love you."
"And I love you."
"Kiss me again."
"But- mmph"
#charles leclerc fluff#charles leclerc imagine#charles leclerc one shot#charles leclerc x reader#charles leclerc#leclerc#f1 blurb#f1 one shot#f1 x you#f1#f1 fandom#cl16 x reader#cl16 imagine#charles leclerc x you
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