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clean-bands-dirty-stories · 4 years ago

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Weak ~ S.R. (part 3)(final)

A/n: Kind fo struggled to find an ending to this that I liked, so I hope you guys liked it. Side note: I was inspired by “Easy” by Camila Cabello for this part :)

Word Count: 8600+

MASTERLIST

We fall for that. Wake up, we fall again. We fall for that. Can't wait to fall again- One sip, bad for me; One hit, bad for me; One kiss, bad for me, but I give in so easily. And no thank you is how it should've gone, I should stay strong- But I'm weak, and what's wrong with that?

It took almost an entire month before Y/n really came to terms with having actual feelings for Spencer. With a lot of help from Michael and some stern words from Hotch when she'd begun to give Spencer the cold shoulder, she'd finally sat down and really thought about it.

I mean, who wouldn't fall head over heels for Spencer Reid, am I right? He was a total dork and had the prettiest smile she'd ever seen. He also had a huge heart and when he looked at her from across the room with the look of some kicked puppy, she still couldn't help but notice how beautiful he was with even that look on his face. Not to mention how kind and considerate he was. He even tried to save people everyone else rightfully hated, because every life that kept living was a victory to him. He shut himself down and kept himself in check as not to annoy others. Y/n was the only one who willingly listened to him, and he'd been slipping recently because he didn't have her to talk to anymore. He was just a really great person... and also really, really attractive like fucking hell dial it back just a TAD for the sake of a single woman with a weak heart.

When she could finally think about it without freaking out because of her past, she approached him again. "Hey." Her voice was soft, heavy with guilt.

He was surprised when he looked up and saw her. He stood, then stepped back to try and play it off like he hadn't been incredibly eager. "H-hi." His eyebrows came together as if in the world's smallest cringe and Y/n couldn't help but smile at the adorable awkwardness.

"I, uh." Her smile wavered as she remembered why she was here. "I'm really sorry, Reid." He frowned deeply at her use of his last name so she gave in a little. "Spencer." His shoulders lifted a little. "I've kind of had a lot of thoughts up in this little noggin of mine and unfortunately my brain works slower than average so it took me some time to figure it out." She shook her head. "I'm sorry it's made it so weird between us. I hope we can still be friends?" That's not what she really wanted, but she knew that what she REALLY wanted would be forever out of her reach. Spencer would never return her feelings. She didn't deserve it. Maybe her feelings now were healthy, but back then... no. What she had said and done and thought all those years ago was inexcusable. She couldn't have a relationship like wanted to with him with a such a secret between them, and she would NEVER tell anyone about it. It was in the past, it didn't matter. Just like her real feelings for the boy wonder in front of her now.

"Of course." He seemed relieved by her words. "Did I... do something to upset you?"

She smiled. Of course he'd think it was his fault. "Never," she reassured. "I... upset myself." That was as close to the truth as she could get.

It only confused him more though. "Are you okay?"

"Please," she begged softly. "I- it won't happen again. Can we please just forget about it?" Her eyes were wide and earnest. "I promise none of us were in any danger. You just-" She sighed. She hated the thought that he might worry enough to go digging, because with his resources he might find out. "You remind me of someone in my past," she worded carefully. "Someone I hurt. And- he didn't know I hurt him, but I did. And sometimes when I look at you, I remember that version of myself and it's... difficult. But I've come to terms with it for real now, and accepted that I'm a different person now. It was years ago and I'm better, you know? So it's really happy news and nothing you need to worry about. I promise."

He seemed to calm down for real at my reassurance. "Okay," he promised. "But if you need anything-"

"I'll come to you first," Y/n declared. "Well." She got a coy smile on her face. "Second. I have an old friend who was there during the whole thing. Who helped me through it. So he might be a tad better at helping, but with his experience and your incredible mind, I'm absolutely sure that if anything comes up it won't even be an issue."

He looked a little sad. "I'm sorry I couldn't help you." He hesitated, so Y/n didn't say something in case he wanted to share something personal as she had. Now that she was sure that her old habits were long dead, she no longer felt worried about getting close to him. It was incredibly refreshing. As she'd thought, he did speak again, pulling out her thoughts so she could focus on him. "I feel like I should be able to do more for my friends. I'm trained to do this as a career, but when it comes to people I care about rather than some murderous psycho, I end up being pretty useless."

She's taken aback by his bluntness. "Are you serious?" He shrugged and she reached up to grab either side of his ace with both of her hands. He seemed surprised by the contact, but didn't pull away. He seemed even more shocked by the fact SHE hadn't pulled away from HIM. "Pen, you're like literally the smartest person I've ever met. Everyone considers you a genius, and you've earned that title time and time again- so much that it drives people crazy sometimes." They both chuckled. "Just because you're smart doesn't mean you're a mind reader though. Be nicer to yourself. Please. You deserve it."

He relaxed at her words and only then did he realize her thumb was grazing his jaw tenderly. She slowly removed her hands. He seemed like he wanted to stop her but he didn't, and she felt her stomach light on fire. "Thank you." The words were soft and warmed Y/n to her core.

Y/n shrugged. "Besides, 'The world is full of obvious things which nobody by any chance ever observes.' You're gonna miss things you don't want to be there. I've been the type of person people ignore when I'm upset since I'm usually pretty upbeat and get over things quickly anyway."

Spencer seemed to glitch. "What did you say?"

A blush swallowed Y/n's face as she winced back in shame. "I don't mean to blame you, I just mean that it's okay, because I'm used to handling it on my own and-"

"No," he dismissed. "The thing about observing obvious things."

It was then that she became cautious. "It's a quote from a book I read a few years ago. One of the few things I made myself remember and internalize. It made me feel better about how I... got into some tricky situations, before I learned and taught myself better and stuff."

His expression brightened. "You've read The Narrative of John Smith?"

She tried not to think about how she'd read it because she'd watched him carry around the book for months. How it had rested on the dashboard of his car and it had made her curious since he blew through books so quickly and never held onto one for long. She tried not to think about how she had gotten it to feel closer to him, reading it slowly and writing down things that she thought were neat. How Michael used those exact words she'd cherished to help counsel her in a way that got through to her in the beginning when she was drowning in guilt. "Yeah," was all she said, even as so many more thoughts raced through her mind.

"That's so wild." He seemed to catch his breath. "I've been meaning to get a copy of my own. I keep borrowing it from the library and returning it too late. It's one of my favorite books."

"No way." She laughed, trying to make it sound casual. "I still have my copy, if you want it."

The idea of reading it again seemed to excite him, making Y/n relax. "I'd love to borrow it. I have to say, I can be a little... hard on books. I have a lot of love to give them."

The joke made her relax completely, her worries rolling off her shoulder. She was a new person, living a new life that was so much better than she'd ever dreamed. "You can actually have it," she told him. "Honestly, it's kind of a reminder of some things that I don't want to remember, and I haven't read it in a long time and probably won't ever again."

"Really?"

"Really," she promised enthusiastically.

He thought for a second then that glimmer in his eyes shone, just like it always did when he got an idea. "What if I read it to you? We could make new memories. Unless you don't like the book."

Y/n laughed. "It was a little hard for me to swallow, but with someone like you to help me if I ask some questions here and there..."

"Oh absolutely," he agreed.

"Then sure." He cheered and she laughed and then Hotch called their names because they had a new case. Both of them went into the meeting beaming.

"Did you bring it today?" It had been six whole cases where every day Spencer would ask her the same thing, and every time she had to disappoint him because she came to work very early in the morning and returned very late at night and she always forgot it.

Not today though.

Her parted, upturned lips gave her away and Spencer jerked in excitement. "First," she began, holding up a finger as she reached into her bag. "To make up for taking ages to finally get it to you." She extended a small bag of Sour Skittles. He seemed to do that physical stutter like he always did when he was so surprised by something it was like a human glitch, eyes on the Skittles like they were going to jump out and bite his hand. "Since it took me over two months to get it to you," she said quietly. Why did he look like she was holding out a dead dog rather than a bag of candy? Then she thought about how the very first gift she'd ever given him was this exact treat. She panicked for a second. Did he know that it was a stalker after all that had given him the gift? Did he expect it to be her? Had he stopped liking this candy because of her selfish recklessness all those years ago? Oh god. "I didn't know what you liked, but they're my favorite," she rushed awkwardly, pulling her hand away. "I' sorry I didn't mean to upset you."

He caught her wrist and she looked into his eyes, ready to see accusation and anger when she did. Instead, she saw guilt. Guilt? What did he have to be sorry for? "No, I love it. Very thoughtful. I'm so sorry, I just-" He swallowed. "I haven't liked them for a while. But," and he snatched them from her hand, pointing back to her bag. She slowly took out the book and he grabbed that too. "Like I said. Here's to new beginnings. New memories with things that were once ruined but didn't deserve it." Right there he opened the bag and popped a few in his mouth. His eyes watched her as he chewed and his body seemed to relax. He then rolled up the bag so none would spill. "Maybe after work today we can meet at my place and I can read to you and we can share them together?"

His place. "I... What about my place?" He made an odd expression and she returned a sheepish one. "I'm weird about other people's places." This was absolutely true. After she'd developed her obsession with Spencer, she got nervous being too intimate with other people, in case it shifted to them instead. "Until I'm super comfortable with them. It's kind of weird, I'm sorry."

"No, I get it." And he seemed to, though it was obvious he understood the feeling rather than the context. "Your place."

Y/n went to confirm, but then Hotch came out, the look on his face that meant they had a case. "As much as I'd hate to interrupt your date," he told Reid and Y/n - both who went beet red, making the rest of the team smirk - before holding up the case file. "We have a case. You guys can do it on the plane though, or in the hotel once we get there." At our surprise, he explained further. "We're headed to Alaska, and the storms are going to be very bad this time of year. There won't be much time to call each other, so Garcia will be coming with us as well. Because of the constantly bad weather, the electronics aren't very advanced so we'll need Y/n as well to help Garcia sift through footage and get information as much as possible. Getting information on this case might need more people talking than we have time for, so Y/n will be needed in quite a few places."

Suddenly Y/n was very excited.

She was going out into the field.

Boy, oh boy I love it when I fall for that. I'm weak, and what's wrong with that? Boy, oh boy I love ya when I fall for that. I'm weak- Go! But I'm weak, and what's wrong with that?

Y/n was relieved that after all the hard to swallow cases, the team was finally getting reprieve from a case that was unwinding pretty quickly. Not quickly enough. Never quickly enough, as two more women turned up dead before they had a suspect who seemed to have a third lined up for her grave the next day if they didn’t do something about it.

So, they did something about it. They were working with a team, who had split up to do different things. The woman cleaned the mess left from the torture, and the man finished off the victim in her grave before leaving her body there to be found later by police. Morgan and Prentiss were going after the man, and Spencer and Y/n were supposed to infiltrate the house and hack the computer for information on where the woman was keeping the victims, since it obviously wasn’t at home. Once they did, they’d send word to Hotch and Rossi and they’d take care of the rest.

It all went wrong pretty quickly.

First of all, Spencer hadn’t the book they’d been reading together on the dashboard. It shouldn’t have been a problem, since they’d reading it together every night to unwind before bed. To distract themselves so they could actually get some sleep. Or, Spencer had been reading it to Y/n. The memory was a good one, and had been getting increasingly better. Now that Y/n had come to terms with her feelings, she felt herself easily falling into a closeness with Spencer that left them growing very close. Physically even. They were very touchy and hovered around each other. Even with Spencer’s hesitance to touch people because of his germaphobia, or Y/n’s hesitance to share bits of herself that might reveal her past. The little goodness between them amidst all the bad things was a breath of fresh air for everyone. Not even Hotch had the heart to break them apart - especially when they both deserved to be happy, and why not together?

Even now they were smiling at each other, taking comfort in each other’s presence. Y/n was nervous to be on the field, wearing a bullet proof vest just in case even though no one should have been there. With the skills she’d picked up from Garcia even in the short time she’d had and Spencer’s never failing intelligence, it was going to be an easy in and out mission. No worry.

The book shattered everything.

Or, at least, what was inside of it.

It dropped on the ground of the car and Spencer reached inside to grab it really fast and put it back on the dash. As he did so, something fell out of the later pages much further into the book. Further than where they’d gotten with Y/n’s constant questions and wanting to understand. Something that Spencer had though adorable then, but was now tainted by the thing he held in his hand.

When he didn’t move, Y/n moved over to him. “Pen? What’s wrong?” She’d begun to use the name naturally instead of his title or even first name like everyone else. Usually it made him smile, but now it made him flinch. She reached out for him and he jerked away. “Spencer?” It wasn’t how she’d referred to him in a while. It seemed to upset him even more.

The thin thing spun around in Spencer’s thin fingers so that Y/n could see the other side. When she did, her heart stopped dead in her chest. “What’s this?” Spencer demanded.

In that moment, Y/n was that same scared girl she’d been when Spencer had walked into her precinct with his team for the very first time and all she could think about was how much she didn’t want her past to come back and eat her alive and ruin her life. Because now, staring at her, was Spencer. Or, a picture of him. An extremely old picture of him. A picture that was now six years old, of a Spencer with slicked back hair and vests and glasses, looking at JJ with a huge smile on his face. It was one of the intimate photos Y/n had taken when-

“I burned all of those.” She took a step back, but the movement might as well have been a slap across Spencer’s face for how he flinched.

“You had more?” This time he looked less shocked and more angry.

Y/n tried to find some words. “Had,” she stressed, trying to come up with something. “I- not anymore, not for a long time.”

She could see the gears in his brain turning, but it didn’t seem to be much work to put the puzzle that he was trying to solve together. She thought of all the things that gave her away. The book that was one of his favorites that she just happened to have. The candy she had given him. The shame she’d been carrying with her so long, that had driven them apart even when they shared the same working space. The picture in his hand now that was from a time Y/n was not in his life. A time she should have no record of. And yet she did, and he was holding it out to her as proof.

“It was you?�� His words sounded sharp and accusing. She had never heard Spencer y’all like that before.

She tried to explain. Explain how much she’d gotten better and how far she’d come since then. But the words got stuck in her throat. She deserved this. She couldn’t get that thought out of her head. She deserved this. “Spencer-“

“My name is Dr. Reid and I’m a federal agent so you better answer my fucking question.”

Her vision blurred with tears. “Yes,” she whispered. The word held so much pain and regret that Reid stepped away, looking to where there was no trace of her. It hit her then. Slipping the picture in the book as a bookmark all those years ago. It was the only time she’d ever taken a picture out of the box. She’d used it as inspiration to get through the book. Every time she set a goal, she’d save it with the picture and her prize was seeing his smile again. After she’d finished the book, she’d forgotten she’d left the picture in it.

WHAT WAS WRONG WITH HER?!

“You let me become your friend.”

A bubbling sob broke from the back of her throat. “I tried not to,” she begged him to understand. “I tried everything, but it was one thing after another and suddenly I have all these REAL feelings for you and-“ She hissed when his eyes shot back to her, hitting her like he’d hit her with his car. “Reid that was YEARS ago. I’m a totally different person now-“

“This isn’t years ago for me,” Reid snapped, his eyes wide as his mind began to reel.

Y/n looked away. She closed her eyes, feeling her heart drop into her toes. “We have to find out where the next victim is or she’s going to die. Can we talk about this later?”

“I can’t LOOK at you right now let alone with you.” He seemed panicked and Y/n flinched, recoiling. “Are you stalking everyone then?”

“I’m not stalking anyone,” Y/n defended weakly. “Stalked. Past tense.”

“Was it only me?” Spencer demanded.

The question seemed odd. “Yes?” That seemed to trouble him more. She couldn’t take it anymore though. She grabbed her pants to ground herself, turning away from him. “Let’s split up then. I’m not letting work drama cost this girl her life.” She steeled herself, wiped her tears, and then began moving inside from the back door, leaving the front door for Reid. “Just stay here.” He didn’t say anything, just stayed still and letting her go.

She slipped inside, making her way to the computer. She called Garcia as she’d been told to. “Hey G.” She frowned at the name. Did she have to leave the BAU now? If he couldn’t look at her or function, how could she stay? This might be her dream job but this was and had been his life for ages. She couldn’t take that away. No, she’d leave.

But that was later.

This was now.

She had this case to finish before anything else happened.

Garcia asked Y/n about the sniffling but Y/n brushed it off- no reason to get into why she’d been crying. And the case was more important now. Between hiding her own pain and trying to focus on hacking and finding this woman who was waiting to be saved, Y/n didn’t see the woman creep into the woman. The woman, who was one half of the unsub team, who was hefting a metal skillet in one hand and a knife in the other.

“Where’s Spencer?” Garcia asked suddenly. “He should be helping you with this.”

“Outside,” Y/n asked casually.

“What?” Garcia snapped.

Y/n didn’t get the chance to throw a response back though. A knife plunged into her gut and her mind went blank as pain erupted through her like she’d never experienced before. By some luck she knocked the skillet out of the woman’s hand, the chair falling back and the knife slipping out of her gut as she fell.

The unsub sat on Y/n’s chest, hefting the knife over her head, a grin on her face. The woman grabbed Y/n’s phone, leaving close to it. “Any last words?” She purred.

Garcia gasped. “DON’T-!”

The woman closed the phone. “Begging,” she groaned, rolling her eyes. “What a fucking waste of time.” Then she stabbed Y/n again, cutting off a scream that escaped her by some serious luck.

The thought that she was going to die here passed through Y/n’s mind as the knife left her again and she groaned, blinking as her vision began to swim. The pain was all consuming and suddenly she was fading out as the knife buried itself higher in her stomach for a third time. Only one thing left her lips. “I deserve this.”

The woman grinned even wider. “Do yourself a favor and pass out, Dearie. After you I’ll be done. That completes the cycle.”

Y/n didn’t know what the woman meant, but she gave in to the pain anyway. The last thing was her blood on the knife and the woman’s hand as she hefted it over her head to bring it down on Y/n a fourth time. The last thought she had was that she was going to die worse than alone. She was going to die at the hands of a psycho with a knife, in pain and on the floor. Her story would be told by Spencer, who didn’t understand her struggle or how far she had come. It was all over and she’d be remembered as the creepy bitch who’d stalked Spencer Reid years ago and then been unlucky enough to end up actually falling in love with him.

Splendid.

It was quiet in the room outside of where Y/b was still unconscious in the hospital bed. When Garcia had called Reid in a panic he had run inside, because stalker or not Y/n was part of his team and he wasn’t going to let her die just because he felt a little disturbed.

The truth was that he was actually torn in a lot of directions at the moment. Knowing that there had been two stalkers, or maybe one after the other, was an unsettling thought. If Y/n had just been watching Spencer, there was still a stalker out there watching all of them, and no way would they not be jealous of how Y/n had been successful in getting close, if they knew about it at all.

There was also the fact that Spencer had fallen really hard for Y/n. He had some very strong feelings for her, but low every memory and feeling seemed to be tainted by the image of Y/n sitting in her car outside his house, or looking over him as he slept. How long ago had she stopped? Why had she stopped? How far had she gotten with stalking him? How long had she been doing it before she stopped? He thought of the day he walked out to those Skittles on his car and his heart had completely stopped as all the stalker cases filled his head in one go, as they did now. So many more cases now though, and much more fear.

What did she know that he didn’t know she knew? That she’d learned from watching him without him knowing?

When he apprehended to woman unsub and called an ambulance for Y/n, they’d all ended up in the hospital as they too often did with cases that went just a little wrong. Hotch had wrung the story out of him and now everyone was here and had heard the full story, especially his explanation of why he let Y/n go in alone.

Eyes slowly moved to Spencer, but he couldn’t handle it. He left, making up some reason about wrapping up the case and telling the local police they’d succeeded and such to get back to the precinct and to a computer.

It took him an hour to find Michael Bills. He was Y/n’s therapist. Spencer had dug deep into Y/n to get answers to his questions. Answers he couldn’t wait to get when she woke up, because he needed them right now. She had done everything to keep Michael and her past buried, but with help from Garcia he’d been able to dig it all up.

He called Michael the second he found the connection. “This is Dr. Bills speaking, how can I-“

“Tell me what you know about Y/n,” Spencer demanded. “Please,” he added shortly as an afterthought. This man had known. He had KNOWN and he just, what, didn’t say anything? Let Y/n keep going? Let her work with Spencer?! He was in town, how did he not stop her, knowing what she did?

There was a soft sigh. “Is this Dr. Spencer Reid then?”

He didn’t seem surprised. It agitated Spencer. How much did this man know about him to be able to read the situation and put it all together so quickly? “Yes,” he finally answered.

Michael hesitated. “What do you want to know?”

“You’re just going to tell me?” Spencer asked, eyebrows knitting together. “What about Doctor-Patient confidentiality?”

A pause. “Y/n would want me to tell you. I’d rather it be me anyway. If she did it she’d be too hard on herself and no one else was there.”

“Too hard on herself?” Spencer snapped.

Another pause. “Dr. Reid, talking as a professional, Y/n was a very strange case. She came in tears, begging me to make sense of her mental state and help her get better. Told me first session that she was stalking an FBI agent and that she felt terrible for doing it but she was in too deep to stop herself. She cane to me for help, a total mess, and did every single thing I told her to do. Worked with me and was open and honest when something didn’t work. She worked two whole years to shake you from her mind and make a better life for herself. I was there when she burned the pictures. I was there when she threw away her camera and emptied her apartment of everything she could find that reminded her of you.”

“Not everything.” He was trying to find something she was still guilty of. It seemed it had been over ages ago. “She still had my favorite book. One of her pictures inside it.”

Michael hummed, considering that. “She probably missed it. Dismissed it later, as it was just a book. I... look, Dr. Reid, I can only speculate as far as that but I can tell you from first hand experience she did a 180. Coming from someone who wanted to turn her in because I didn’t want to get involved with a federal agent and his stalker, I tell you now with full confidence that Y/n is absolutely everything. Her job. Her friends. Her time. Her sanity and peace of mind. Her self respect. Coming to terms with being a creep was hard for her to do, and she still holds herself accountable for that.”

“Why did she become friends with me?” He had to know. He was desperate. He needed something to be angry at her about. How could he hold something that had ended SIX YEARS AGO over her head now? She’d saved Spencer’s life more times than she’d put it in danger. “And- and how far did she get? Does she know where I live? Did she come into my house?”

“No,” Michael rushed. “It- well this won’t be funny to you, but we used to joke that even when she was crazy she still had enough sense to draw a line. She... never followed you home. It was something she was proud of.” S long silence between the two men. “Honestly Dr. Reid, I’m going to tell you what I told her. Years ago she had an obsession with a boy she had a crush on. A fantasy where you were the center. But she broke that herself and cleaned herself up, allowing a space for you two to genuinely form a relationship. I think whatever she’s feeling now? The relationship you guys have? I think it’s genuine, and totally safe and real. I think she is as far from crazy as one can get. She pulled HERSELF away from stalking. She’d been done a year before we even started working together. Have you ever seen anyone do that?”

Spencer had to admit, he hadn’t. He also had to admit that... he had nothing to be mad at her about. I mean he did, but he was six years too late to lord this over her. She didn’t deserve to have all her hard work ignored and years erased. She didn’t deserve to have the lowest she’d ever been - the worst thing she’d ever done - shoved in her face and down her throat. She was kind and good and caring. She deserved someone who gave her the time of day and respected the shit she went through to make a real life for herself. Who recognized all she’d done to leave behind a destructive path and end up working for the FBI in the BAU, practicing to be an agent and save lives and stop people like who she’d almost become.

Spencer rubbed their bridge of his nose, sighing. “Thank you.”

He could hear the smile in Michael’s voice when the man spoke again. “My pleasure.”

Spencer ended the call, standing up from his desk. He had even lore to explain to his team, and when Y/n woke up... they had even more to talk about.

Boy oh boy I love it when I fall for that.

Y/n didn't know what people usually dreamed about when they went into a coma, but she really hoped it wasn't anything like this. She had no idea how long she'd been out, but in her little mind palace it seemed she'd been here for eons. She remembered a time before here but it was almost like a dream, or at best a story she read when she was a child. She HAD been a child after all, even though she couldn't remember it. All she could remember was here and now, sitting in the dark of nighttime in this field, fingers every so often wrapping around the grass to feel it before letting it go and going completely still before doing it again after a while. It was silent here. No wind or night animals. Just the moon and stars and the dark, tall blobs in the corners of her vision that she assumed were trees. Or some monster that was waiting to kill her. Either way she didn't have any fear for it. Monsters weren't real after all, right? She'd been sure of that once. Now she wasn't so sure though. Monsters didn't have horns and claws and fangs like she thought, but they were just as real. She saw one every time she looked in the mirror.

Is that why she was here? Was it a punishment for everything she'd done? Had it been so wrong that she had been trapped here in this eternal nighttime, unable to move as she looked at the stars and wondered when something would happen? Nothing did happen though. She just sat there in the dark, alone. At least the air wasn't too cold and the ground was comfortable.

Hold on that wasn't right. She wasn't a monster. She'd seen monsters. She'd seen the blood on their hands, and the hunger for more of it in their eyes. She had seen the pile of bodies and the tension in bodies that would never truly leave, even if they did survive. She'd seen people get murdered live and watched as people other than just the monster with its fingers around her neck got off on it like it was some kind of porn. She'd seen a monster have sex with its girlfriend in the places it killed other women. She'd seen people murder those they loved most because they thought it would help increase their luck. She'd seen fantasies so thick and twisted that it didn't even make sense to those with normal minds. Those like her who knew when a line had been crossed.

She wasn't like those people. She had been headed down that path, changing into one of them, but she had stopped herself. She'd never be able to cover all the scars from the healing it had taken to e herself again, but she was herself as much as she could be after flipping everything on its head and making it out for the better. Well, as herself as she could be without going back to old habits. Better than her original self, even.

She was a good person. She'd made mistakes, but she'd also made up for them god damnit. She'd sacrificed everything to make herself a person who made life better for others. She didn't deserve to be alone in a field, surrounded by maybe trees maybe monsters with no grasp on the past and therefore no acknowledgement of the future. She didn't deserve to sit in the dark with no good company, trying to make sense of the here-and-now foggy place her mind had been wedged.

It was that thought that pulled her out of it. Pulled away from the dark forest with the stars that began to disappear as shadowy figures stepped int he way of her seeing them. Pulled away from the sleep, jerking her awake, eyes shooting wide as her body spasmmed, hands wrapped tightly around her sheets. Tears were already streaming down her face and something was beeping sporadically. A burning pain ripped through her body and all she could see was the last thing that had been there before she'd been taken to that place that was nowhere and everywhere all at once. A hand gripped her arm and she screamed, her vision blurred by her tears.

"Y/n." That voice. She knew that voice. It cut through her panic, such a familiar sound with so much care and concern in it. A voice she never thought she'd hear again, let alone with those emotions in it. Her eyes focused as her gaze sought out the face she was so hoping to see. To her relief, her eyes locked with another pair, brown and large with concern and warm.

"Spencer?" She croaked out, leaning away in surprise.

The room grew still and quiet until Y/n's head cleared and slowly everything came back piece by piece. The room was full of who she guessed was now her ex-coworkers. People she saw once as family, but now knew probably hated her. No one could make eye contact with her except Spencer. They were too busy looking at him as he looked at her. Y/n felt her head fall as she looked at her lap in shame. She wanted to apologize. She wanted the ground to open up and swallow her whole. She wanted none of them to be there. Why didn't she just wake up alone?

When she went to pull her knees to her chest to hide her face, she winced, her hand shooting to her stomach. "Careful," a nearby doctor warned her. "You'll pull your stitches.

Then her mind cleared more, and she remembered the woman above her. The sick smile that twisted her face as the knife went in and out of Y/n again and again. Y/n closed her eyes, leaning back into bed and pulling the blanket over her head, groaning softly. Now that it seemed her freak out had passed, everyone was filing out of the room. Had they been outside waiting for her to wake up? Maybe they felt obligated since they had a relationship with her, even though they probably didn't want to anymore. Maybe they were just waiting to say goodbye and fire her.

Her mind began racing, filling with thoughts that made her chest hurt much more than her stomach did. When it went quiet outside and she thought she was alone, she began crying. She moved her hand against her mouth to muffle it, but allowed herself to let go and release the little sobs she'd been locking within. Her worst fear had come true. Her past mistakes had unearthed and were ruining her life once again. All the friendships she'd made. The job she so loved and was looking forward to becoming a bigger part in was being taken from her before she could even really start.

A hand skimmed her shoulder and she squeaked and jumped, moving her blanket down in surprise. To her horror, none other than Dr. Reid himself was sitting in the chair next to her bed, looking rather upset. He probably was listening to her self pity and loathing it. Loathing that she could feel bad for herself when he probably felt she deserved every injury she'd gotten. Did he hate her that much? Was everything so far ruined in such a short time? If she could go back in time she'd go back to the first day she saw him in that stupid coffee shop and strangle herself. How could she have been so stupid?

Self loathing like she'd not felt since she'd first realized how messed up she was began to rise up in her chest and consume her. Her chest restricted and her heart began to burn. Her throat closed and she found she couldn't breathe. "I-" She cut off, her eyebrows coming together as her face tensed as she struggled to breathe.

Spencer's concern grew. "Are you okay?"

Her hand rose to her chest, trying to massage it as if it was a tight muscle rather than a panic attack. She knew herself well enough to know that's what it was. She used to get these all the time, and still did occasionally. It started when she'd had a breakdown over her actions against Spencer and hadn't left her fully since. "I'm- fine," she managed, her face contorting further at the pain it caused her. "I-" She sucked in a breath and felt it get lodged in her throat.

"Panic attack," Spencer realized quietly.

"I'm-" But again it was cut off as she winced, shaking her head. She covered her face.

Spencer reached over, grabbing a pen off a nearby desk. It looked to be some sort of table, with food on top of it. It must have had wheels, because he pulled on it and it moved closer. He moved the food off, putting the desk in between them and setting the pen on top. "Can I show you something?" She looked over, feeling the urge to snap at him but holding it back because he didn't deserve that. Why didn't he just leave? "I can move this pen with my mind," he told her confidently. "Do you want to see?"

That caught her attention. "Uh-" But then she winced again.

He took that as a yes and stood up. He picked up the pen, holding it out for her to see. "Give me a second as I..." He rubbed it on his pants. "I have to charge it with static electricity. It makes the pen move better and connects it to my mind so I can move it better."

"So you move it with static electricity?" She asks quietly. Her words were a little breathless but came nonetheless.

He tried to hide a smile and failed. "No. I move it with my mind." She rolled her eyes and he chuckled. He placed it back on the table when he finished "charging" it and then pointed at it, sitting back down. "Now, watch this." She did just that, her eyes on the pen on the table and his finger as he pointed to it. His finger began to move forward and to her shock and wonder, the pen began to roll along with it. It went on and on until it fell off the end of the other side of the table, his hand dropping to catch it at the last second.

"Okay that was not some static electricity bullshit," Y/n accused, pointing her own finger but at him rather than at a pen on a table. "How did you do that?"

The grin on Spencer's face was contagious, pulling up Y/n's own lips. "A magician never reveals his secrets, you know that." She rolled her eyes and laughed and he relaxed. "You feel better?"

His words made her stop short. "You... Yeah." Her chest had loosened and her body had relaxed. There's wasn't any pain. She could breathe just fine. "How did you do that?"

"Distraction." That was an answer he could give her. "I took your focus away from what you were thinking and feeling and it allowed your body to move on more quickly."

Y/n was quiet for a few seconds. Long enough that the silence was noticeable and Spencer felt the urge to reach out and comfort Y/n when she looked away from him. "Why did you help me?"

He knew what the real questions behind that was and he sighed. "I talked to Michael." She looked up at him sharply. He was already looking back and their eyes locked. There was no judgement in his gaze and it surprised her. "I was... a little freaked out at first. The BAU has a stalker. One that's been following all of us and has been killing people to show that he knows our cases. Sending us gifts to let us know he's there. I thought you were..."

Y/n shook her head. "God no. I could never kill anyone, Spencer."

"I know." He offered a small smile. "Six years ago huh?"

A small groan came from Y/n. "I hate thinking about it." She sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. "And I don't expect you to forgive me, Spenc-" He cut off, shaking her head. "Dr. Reid. I don't expect you to trust me again either. And I especially don't expect you to work me considering you don't trust me, so I'm quitting."

Spencer jerked. "Y/n, this is your dream job. What you've always wanted."

She nodded. "I know that, but there are other things that people do. I don't expect people will hire me as an officer of any kind once this goes on my record, so I'll just have to do..." She shrugged, her face set as she glared at her hands. "Something else."

"You're an idiot." She looked over, confused, to see him smiling. "I know why you're doing this, and you're a total idiot." She didn't know what to say to that, so Spencer simply continued. "Did you know that a few years ago I was kidnapped during a case? I was drugged really badly. So much so that I got addicted while on it. Or maybe it was before when I found more of it once I was home and continued to use it. Either way, it got bad pretty fast. Hotch found out and told me that he would have to let me go if this continued. You can't give someone who's drugged a gun. I even... came to work once." He winced and Y/n felt her heart shatter in her chest. She knew what he was talking about. She remembered that span of time he seemed off. Distant and faded. She'd thought it had been the job getting to him. Maybe depression. Shed never imagined something like this. "If we were all judged by the worst things we'd ever done. Held accountable for mistakes we made years ago. If we were all judged based on the lowest points in our life, I wouldn't be here either." He reached forward, taking one of her hands between two of his. "I'd like you to stay. You add a very important piece to our team, and... I'd miss you. You're my friend, Y/n. No matter what you did over half a decade ago, YOU stopped it and got better. You didn't have to be stopped by someone else. You changed it made a better life for yourself and now we have a relationship that is very real and I don't have many of those." He looked at her and suddenly 'friendship' sounded different when he said it. "I'd like you to stay."

Well, how could she say no to that?

"So what's going on with you two?"

Y/n was half asleep, her head on Spencer's shoulder. After she'd gotten out of the hospital and returned to work her and Spencer had been inseparable. Now that the air was clear they could be honest with each other. They still weren't doing anything about the feelings they both seemed to have. Y/n was nervous to cross that line and Spencer wanted her to feel free to take things as slow as needed. He'd be lying if he didn't admit that he also needed time to come to terms with her past himself. They'd had a long talk about it, with Y/n telling him what she knew and how far she'd gone in stalking him. It had been a hard thing to hear, but most of the information was fuzzy for her to recall or outdated, so it didn't matter. Even more had been overlapped by what she'd learned naturally through their current friendship, so that helped. In return of his forgiveness, she'd gone on a rant of all the stupid things she did in high school - not something he'd asked her to do, but something she'd insisted on anyway. He'd been laughing so hard at the end of her most embarrassing high school moments that all had been forgiven and it didn't seem as weird anymore. Maybe he just had a higher tolerance than he should.

Now they were here, much closer and familiar with each other as well as much more open and honest. Y/n never pressured Spencer to tell her anything, sensing the line he'd silently drawn of her getting too much into his business. She chose to be quite open herself though. To the whole team, not just Spencer. The team thought there would have been more hesitance, but before Spencer knew about all of this and it had put a little chip into their relationships, he'd been pretty sure of much stronger feelings than friendship so it had progressed pretty quickly.

It didn't matter what either of them had done in the past. They were much more concerned with what they were doing it now, and making sure that they did as much of it as possible together.

Spencer chose to hum rather than shrug, in favor of not waking Y/n. "I like her. She likes me."

"And everything else?" It was Morgan asking. The man was always protective of Spencer, but Y/n had been his friend too and he felt the need to have her back as well. Of this whole thing went south it might end up REALLY ugly.

"It doesn't matter," Spencer decided. And then he let it go. And Y/n felt her own chest release, finally really setting all those old fears free. It just didn't matter anymore.

Morgan nodded though Y/n couldn't see that. "Cool."

And that was the end of it.

"I can't believe it's real," Y/n whispered softly. She had gone through school. She was graduated. She was a REAL member of the BAU now. Badge and gun and all. She thought of her younger self looking at that TV screen as she watched the news as a child, and how proud that little girl would be to see who she had grown up to be. Her eyes turned to her friends. "I did it."

Spencer moved forward first. "And now there's something I have to do." They hadn't been as close since Y/n had gone to school, but they still talked all they could and hung out around their schedules. The most they'd seen each other was between calls at work - but then it was mostly dead bodies talk and asking her to research people who might be killers, or at least connected to them. Now was one of the few times they'd been in person, and would be the first of many as she'd be following them on cases rather than staying behind with Garcia.

He took the pause of a moment to grab her face, pulling their lips together, and she let him. They'd made a deal to wait until she was graduated so that neither of them were distracted amidst all the very important things that required their attention more. Now they didn't have to wait anymore.

The rest of the team cheered and hooted and hollered but the kiss didn't last long. It wasn't a surprise, but it had been long awaited and even the chaste exchange was something to be celebrated.

"To the future?" Y/n offered quietly.

"To the future," Spencer agreed.

"As long as you guys aren't idiots on the field," Emily groaned. Her smile let them know she was joking though.

"No promises," Y/n responded easily, the two separating so she could sass her friends that had become family so quickly. "Especially to you." She smirked and the room erupted in laughter and acknowledgement of Y/n's jab at Emily.

Yeah, they were going to be just fine.

Tag List: @ajwantsapancake @urie-bowie-mercury

Spencer Readers: @realimbo

#spencer reid #matthew gray gubler #x reader #imagine #criminal minds #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid imagine #criminal minds imagine #matthew gray gubler x reader #matthew gray gubler imagine

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lovemesomesurveys · 4 years ago

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“I’m a dick, I’m addicted to you”

Do you add extra letters to words sometimes? (ex. haaaa) Yeahhh.

Do you like the letter Z or Q better? I don’t favor one over the other. Who would you like to be stuck on an island with? I’d like to not be stuck on an island at all. What's your favorite quote? I have a lot of favorite quotes. I just love relatable stuff that puts into words how I’m feeling or what I’m thinking better than I can. I struggle with expressing myself and putting it into words, so. Name one random fact about your best friend. She loves the ID channel.

Do you like vegetables or fruit better? Gonna be honest, I don’t eat much of either one. Especially, fruit... it’s been a few years since I’ve had any. :X I have spinach, potatoes, and green onions pretty often, but that’s all the veggies I’ve had in a few years as well. In comparison to my zero fruit intake it’s something at least, ha. There are fruits I like and a few more veggies as well, but I just haven’t had them in awhile. What brand of shoes do you wear? Adidas. What's your favorite smiley face? On the computer I use :) Do you believe that if someone goes to bed thinking of u, u dream of them? I’ve heard that before and it can be a cute thought, but nah. Have you ever snitched on someone for cheating? No. Do you own a Snuggie? I do. What's your favorite number? 8. Which of the 7 dwarves are you most like from Snow White? Sleepy. What's the last movie you watched? Dumb and Dumber yesterday. What's your favorite month? October and December.

“I’m alright”

Do you like the smell of campfires? Yesss. If you could do one thing for the rest of your life, what would it be? I don’t know. Do you like eggnog? Yes. Is there a song out right now that you can't stand? I haven’t heard any new music recently. I haven’t been listening to music lately. If you could stay one age forever, what age would you pick? I’d be fine if I just stayed 31 here on out. What's your favorite state? I like my state the best out of the few states I’ve been to (the others being Arizona, Idaho, and Georgia). There’s a few I’d like to visit that could potentially take the top spot for me, though. Have you ever went in public with your tag still on your clothes? I don’t think so.

Would you say your loud or shy? I’m quiet and shy. What's your favorite symbol on the computer? I don’t have one. Are you afraid of clowns? Pennywise is awesome. Do you wear glasses? I do. Ever rode on a horse? Just on one at the pumpkin patch as a kid. Poor horse, guided around in a circle all day. Do you have trouble saying or spelling some words? I think I spell pretty well. I stumble over my words when I talk sometimes, but I think my pronunciation is pretty good. Have you ever thought something was just to good to be true? Many times. And when I think that, it’s usually true. Do you like potatoes? I love potatoes.

“I’m in trouble, I’m an addict, I’m addicted to this girl”

Are you random? My thoughts and dreams are really random, but I wouldn’t describe myself that way. I’d say I’m predictable and boring. Do you believe that aliens are real? I don’t know. Certainly not the weird looking green creatures that are usually depicted for some reason. Do you sleep with the TV on? I do. I’ve done that ever since I was a kid. What's the longest you've slept in? Like 5PM or so. Have you ever seen a hairy toe? Yes. What's the last thing you watched on TV? Roseanne this morning. Do you have a song stuck in your head? Not at the moment. Who do you talk to the most? My mom and brother. What's the first thing you get on when the internet comes up? When the internet comes up oh man, was this made in the late 90s, early 2000s? lol. The first thing I do when I get on my laptop is continue scrolling through my Tumblr feed or do a survey. When's the last time you were sick? I’ve been sick with something for the past week. And no, it’s not the rona.

Which is your favorite: Music, Dogs, Shoes, Books, Jonas Brother? I love a variety of music, I love doggos in general, but I’m biased towards Labs and German Shepherds, Adidas are my favorite shoes, and back in my die hard Jonas Brothers days I was a total Joe girl. What color is your hair brush? Rose gold. Do you enjoy arcades? I did when I was a kid. We used to have one at my mall back when I was a kid that was a fun place to go. And Chuck E Cheese, ha. Have you ever liked 2 people at once? Yes. Have you taken a nap today? Not so far.

“show me the meaning of being lonely”

Would you ever want to be in a horror movie? I think it’d certainly come off as believable because I’m such a scardy cat and super jumpy. Being chased would genuinely scare me even it was acting. Even knowing what was going to happen I know I’d still be jumpy. Only thing is I don’t have the scream down that you gotta have for a horror movie. Have you ever been to Washington D.C? Nope. Do you hate when girls have guyish names and boys have girly names? I really don’t care. Have you lost or gained any weight since February? I know I haven’t gained any weight. I’ve probably lost some weight, which is really not good for someone who’s already underweight. Have you ever felt like no one wanted to be around you? Yes. I don’t even want to be around me. I often feel like I’m such a burden and annoyance. It’s my own thinking and feeling, though. My family doesn’t do or say anything to make me feel that way. I have had other people make me feel that way, though. Have you ever had to use a pay phone? Yes. Have you listened to music today? Nope. It’s been awhile since I’ve listened to music, actually. Do you only drink bottled water? Yes. Don’t judge me. I bet someone is on your mind right now, right? No, actually. Do you like writing in pen or pencil better? Pen, definitely. What's the last magazine you bought? I don’t even remember it’s been so long. Has anyone in your family ever forgot your birthday? My parents, brother, and close family members always remember. Was it any of your friends birthday in the past week? My older brother’s birthday was a couple days ago. Is anyone else in the same room as you? Nope. Are you one of the popular people in your grade? I’m done with school, but no I was never popular.

“you never call me when you’re sober”

What word best describes you in the dictonary? ”Depressed”, “Awkward”, “Lame”, “Loser”, “Ugly”... Do you like Soy Milk? Yeah, I’m lactose intolerant. I use that or almond milk. I don’t drink any kind of milk by itself, but I use those in stuff like coffee drinks and cereal. And for dunking my cookies and brownies in. Where were you at 10:30am yesterday? Right here in bed where I spent all weekend. I was having a really rough weekend. I felt really shitty and had zero energy. I couldn’t even drag myself outta bed for coffee, so that’s how you know I was feeling really bad. Thankfully, my mom and brother brought me a Starbucks. Do you think ghosts are real? I believe in spirits, but not actual Caspers. Do you know anyone who has been attacked by a shark? No. What is your best friend's mom name? Lupe. Have you ever made out in a movie theatre? No. What part of your body do you wash first? My arms and work my way down. Do you have an innie or an outie? Innie. How do you think the dinosaurs died? An asteroid. What's your favorite flavor of Pringles? Sour cream and onion, cheddar and sour cream, pizza, and ranch. What was the last thing you got grounded for? Something when I was like 12. Did you go to a water park last summer? I don’t go to the water park ever. What shoe do you put on first? I think the right. Finish the sentence: Girls.. Just wanna have fun.

“I think we’re alone now”

Have you ever had a song or poem written about you? No. Did you have a nickname growing up? My family called my Noodles, ha. When was the last time you played the air guitar? I don’t know. Have you ever biten your toenail? Ew, no. I’m not flexible enough to even do that, but I would never want to so it’s fine. Have you ever been dared to do something that you regretted? No. I didn’t do dares. Favorite website? Tumblr and YouTube. Worst thing that has ever happened to you? Probably the incident that made me a paraplegic at 7 months old. That’s certainly top of the list. Best thing that has happened to you? My doggos are definitely amongst the top. Best friend? My mom. If you could dye your hair any color, what color would it be? I dye it red and would like to continue to do so. Do you have a wii? It’s my brother’s, but since we live in the same house and I’ve used it, too, I’m gonna say yes. Most used phrase on IM? I don’t remember, it’s been over a decade since I’ve used IM. Have you ever heard of The Beatles? Of course. Have you ever wanted to give money to a charity? Yes, and I have given to charities.

“Who says you’re not beautiful?”

Would you ever want to have 14 kids? Uh, noooo. I don’t even want one. Are you wearing any bracelets right now? Nope. Do you have any jewelry that once belonged to an old family member? No. Do you dream every night? I usually do. Give me on of your goals Just taking it day by day. Do you like skinny jeans? Yeah, those are the only jeans I have. Do you ever say stuff that you don’t mean? It happens. Have you ever said "I love you" and not meant it? Yeah, but that was back when I was 16 and felt pressured into saying it back to my boyfriend at the time even though I didn’t have those feelings. Ever since then I haven’t thrown those words around lightly. What is your dream guy/girl? A patient, understanding, caring, loving, trustworthy, good sense of humor kind of guy. Do you hate when people overract? I can definitely be one of those people that overreact. And I know I’m overreacting when it’s happening, but I can’t help myself. I sometimes see people in situations where I’m like, ‘omg, they’re totally overreacting’ and think it could be handled differently, but yet I do the same thing. When was the last time you used the oven? It’s been awhile, actually... I don’t remember. Have you ever wanted to be free like a bird? ”And I’m as free as a bird now... and this bird you cannot change.” Are you a worrier? Oh am I ever. Does your house have an attic? Nope. Are you going fishing this weekend? No. I don’t go fishing.

#personal #text #survey #surveys

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beatyoutothepunchline · 6 years ago

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On Telephones

Carrie Fisher once said to, “Take your broken heart and make it into art.” I don’t know if she ever found a way to mend a mangled heart--one that can’t will itself to make any art right now--but if anybody has got something better than slamming a two buck chuck while laying on the floor of your dorm room, listening to Julia Jacklin’s cover of “Someday” by the Strokes for the ten millionth time, while going between six different tabs on Glassdoor of jobs you didn’t get while waiting for inspiration to ding like the semi-hourly email from Sur La Table, reminding your newly single ass that “love is in the air” and while it is you can take an extra forty percent off all clad cookware, I’d like to know. All of this is happening on my phone, which I’m trying not to look at right now and am failing miserably at because I’ve spent the last ten years slowly becoming more and more addicted to and reliant upon it. I’m not sure I could go twenty seconds without checking my Instagram feed, and I can assure you that unless the little blue dot on my map app moved with me, I wouldn’t ever get to where I was going. (Have you tried to ask somebody on the street recently where something is? Everybody’s got their headphones in). Remember when phones were just phones and all they did was call people? I do… vaguely. I remember using my stubby, bitten down middle school fingernails to pull up the antenna of my 90’s Nokia, plopping down on the floor in the living room of our house in Omaha and calling everyone in my mom’s address book and tell them I had a cellphone and if I needed to be reached personally, I now could. I remember my mom walking into the room and asking what I was doing, so I told her. I was on the phone with our next door neighbor, Doris Helfrich. My mom pulled the phone out of my hand and apologized laughing it off. I was too old to be doing stuff like that. Twelve or thirteen maybe, but I’m amazed there was a point in my life when talking on phone was a source of anxiety. This is due to the pressure of trying to make a good first impression, which I’m bad at to begin with. I’m one of those people you need to meet at least eleven times before they can form an honest opinion about me. There’s even more pressure over the phone, because there is nothing to go on other than my voice. This wasn’t something that I noticed until I got older and became slightly more perceptive and self conscious of it. I personally have no problem with it, however, in recent years it has come to my attention thanks to the groundbreaking observation of several of the men I’ve gone out with that I sound, “nervous” (In my defense, I’m usually burning the candle at both ends and my voice is shaking because I’m jacked up on an insane amount of coffee.) Or they say I sound scared or sad or angry. My absolute favorite though,came from this idiot I am crying over who told me,“You sound like a California girl.” Because apparently I talk slower (I’m assuming he meant I had a super cool laid back, So-Cal surfer drawl) and because I say “like” a lot (I do, but it’s usually because I’m trying to find the right way to say something. I’m not sure why taking my time to choose my words carefully needs to be pointed out to me as if it’s a bad thing.) But I’m cool and I quote from my favorite Valley girl, saying, “Yeah, well, you know, that's just, like, your opinion, man,” or some other joke that fits the comment. The smart one’s laugh and move on. The dumb ones ask, such as said idiot ask, “Why do you use comedy to distract from insecurities?” Truth is I didn’t have any until idiot dudes started pointing them out to me. I hate to admit I let something that stupid get to me, but whenever my phone rings now there’s this sense of fear that the voice on the phone doesn’t match the person I am, and the takeaway will be what I sound like, not what I’m trying to say. The next phone I got was a burnt orange Sidekick, which meant I could finally text people instead of having to call them. Not that I knew anyone to text. Certainly, the sixty-year-old neighbors I called on my Nokia didn’t know how to text or didn’t. But I meet people at school, those people invited me to parties where I meet more people. Those people and I talked for a while and if general teenage awkwardness (because let’s be clear: teenagers were socially awkward long before phones started making them that way) or my inability to form a sentence without sounding like an idiot didn’t ruin the conversation we’d exchange numbers so we didn’t have to talk with our mouths anymore. I distinctly remember a two week period in high school where I met a dude at a party, told my friend to give him my number, lost my phone for two weeks (totally content with never seeing it again) only to find it with an eighty-nine percent battery life and three texts from the boy my friend gave my number to. And really there are two things that are amazing about this. The first is that there was a point in my life where I went two weeks (336 hours, 20,160 minutes) without looking at my phone and that there was a point in my life where I truly didn’t care if the dude from the party texted me. Right after the party, or at all. What happened to her? Fourteen years old in that cocktail dress my mom bought me last minute from Forever 21, standing along the back wall of a dark high school gym, the bass rattling my chest. There was a point in my life where the loudness of it all didn’t freak me out. There was something almost kind of meditative about it. Not the people or music. There is absolutely nothing meditative about being surrounded by teenagers in varying stages of puberty (and yet somehow simultaneously, at the peak of it), dancing to “Apple Bottom Jeans” by T-Pain and screaming “REMEMBER FIFTH GRADE?!” or singing out of key to “Fireflies” by Owl City and screaming “REMEMBER SEVENTH GRADE?!” or little circles of light from a disco ball spinning around your head like someone knocked out in a cartoon. I stood along the back wall of the gym, closed my eyes and focused on the bass until I forgot all the lyrics and all the people around me. If I were twenty-one then I’d have pulled my earbuds out of my clutch and put in my music, Jon Brion or Aimee Man or the Velvet Underground, and slow danced with myself. Unfortunately, I was fourteen. I didn’t know who Jon Brion or Aimee Man were and I didn’t go to the dance alone. For some reason, I decided to go with a bunch of girls who were appalled by the sight of grinding. I was appalled by them being appalled by people who made different choices than they did and decided to call my parents to pick me up an hour into the dance. “Already?” My mom asked though I’m not sure why she was surprised. I always left the party early. As I sat waiting on a concrete bench outside, a girl ran out of the building like Cinderella and the clock was inching toward midnight. She was wearing a powder blue ball gown that looked more prom in the ’50s than a homecoming in 2013 and she was bawling her eyes out, mascara and eyeliner streaking down her face. She sat down on the opposite end of the bench from me. There were about twelve identical benches around us, but she sat on mine for some reason. From what I gathered between sobs into her cell phone she and her boyfriend had just broken up because he had and cheated on her with another girl, who he had taken to homecoming instead of her. Back in my dorm room in 2019, in between Julia Jacklin songs, I started to binge-watching videos by Thoraya Maronesy where she challenges people to call their crushes and ask them out on a date, or asks what the kindest thing they’ve ever been told and there was one video titled, “Who's 1 stranger that you still remember?” And as I watched this video, I tried to think about a stranger I remembered meeting and only one that came to mind was this girl on the bench. And the only thing I remember feeling at that moment was disgust. Because I didn’t understand why she would cry over someone like that. I didn’t get it when I invited him to a lit series I was asked to read at. I’m scared of talking to one person, the thought of standing in front of fifty hipsters in Carhartt beanies who are all tastefully one drink into the evening, armed with big vocabularies and ready to critique me is terrifying. It’s not like Iowa where if you screw up people won’t remember it because they’re not paying attention, won’t remember it because they’re five beers in, or will remember it but love you enough to make it into a joke they’ll tell at your wedding, to your children when they are old enough to get it, and put in your obit. To my surprise, they were all incredibly nice and he was the asshole. I took his judgment of shaky voice and my word choice as honesty. I let him rip into the poets that read the whole walk back to the train, only meekly interjecting with, “At least they’re writing poetry.” I let him call me cute and mansplain the intricacies of his book on finance and politics. I didn’t get it until I made dinner for him (which took well over the estimated hour cook time, because I, in fact, do not know how to operate an oven) and he told me that he was seeing three other people while I was home over winter break. Over break. When he was calling me every other night to tell me he missed me, I was dipping out of dinner early, laying on the landing of the staircase of my parents place or pacing around the freezing garage floor talking to him for an over hour. Because who calls anymore unless they really like you? Only then did click and I finally got it. Heartbreak is a sixteen year old who--for the first time in her life--finally feels like Nora Ephron didn’t completely lie to her, only to have that feeling stripped away by some stupid thing some boy told her. Because a woman well versed in her past mistakes and a man well versed in his didn’t write the right words for that asshole. Heartbreak is a big blue dress that directly juxtaposes the era. That you write off as being delusional or dated, but secretly gives you hope that slow dance still happen, that late night telephone conversations between two people still exist, and still mean more than what is said during them. Heartbreak is mascara running all down your face and no one chasing after you when you leave the party. And let me tell you, that kind of heartbreak looks much better on a sixteen-year-old girl at homecoming than on a twenty-something sitting alone at her kitchen table, with a botched TJ’s lemon chicken sitting in front of her, still a little raw in the middle. I glance down at my phone, trying to convince myself it was to check the time instead of Snapchat, or Instagram. It’s the time of night I would have called him and I debate calling my mother, but I’ve already called her. She likes breaking news, not this repetitive, 24-hour loop of a relationship I prefaced with, “Don’t get used to hearing about him. It’s not gonna last.” I know she will be a hundred percent honest with me. She’ll tell me to wipe the snot out of my nose, splash some cold water in my face and get over it. So instead I call my grandma because I want to talk to somebody that will pretend to care and she is scarily upbeat and gets wildly off topic. She will save me. Or distract me. Maybe they’re the same thing. As soon as she picks up, she tells me about how my uncle Rob was in Chicago for a Navy conference. “But only for two days,” she says as if to avoid offending me. As if I would be furious to find out he didn’t want to spend the few free hours he had in his tight schedule to see me. She told me he left his Navy blues or whatever you call them back in DC where he sometimes works, or in Sicily where he is currently stationed. I forget where she said he left his Navy blues because I wasn’t listening to her tell me how he ran all over town on his lunch break, acquiring pieces of a uniform from thrift stores and getting them tailored to fit him before dinner that night. Where nobody was the wiser, save the two men he asked had a spare necktie. I didn’t stop to consider how beautiful that was--how it could be a short story. One I could’ve been writing if I wasn’t preoccupied with things not working out with the guy I was seeing. My grandma, now picking up on my not so subtle crying, tells me in an uncharacteristically flat, matter-of-fact tone, “It works or it doesn’t,” before telling me to link up with my mom’s second cousin who lives two streets down on Michigan Avenue. That I should consider writing him a letter. Maybe network a little. I write down his address, toy with the idea of writing a letter, but hang up when my grandma starts telling me to “network” with people. A few hours after my conversation with my her, no further into my homework or a story about my uncle, I go from break up songs to love songs when “Big Me” by the Foo Fighters pops up on my recommended list. I’d heard the song before, but I had never really listened to it. Some people say it’s about a fight this guy has with his girlfriend and the line, “If we can get around it/I know that it's true.” Meaning, if it’s the real deal, they’ll figure it out together. Some say that lead singer, Dave Grohl, simply meant it as a corny love song for his wife at the time, some insist it’s about dealing with the loss of Kurt Cobain. I don’t know. I wasn’t in the state of mind to analyze it, so I let the music video inform the brilliant and infuriatingly vague lyrics. The music video for “Big Me” parodies a Mentos commercial, aptly renaming the mint candy “Footos.” In it, Grohl, the band, and several actors (who, if not ripped off of the set from an actual Mentos commercial we’re perfectly cast as being the kind of people that could be in one), encounter a series of minor a setbacks. A woman gets parked in by a self-centered businessman, Dave Grohl gets cut off by an angry lady in a limo, and a kid is kept from getting into a Foo Fighters concert. After a moment of contemplation as each tries to figure out how to deal with the situation they are confronted with, they have this sort of “Ah-ha!” moment, before popping in a “Footo,” smiling at the camera and coming up the solution that has been there all along. The band picks the car out up of the parking spot so the lady can get out, Dave Grohl befriends the woman in the limo that cuts him off and give her a Footo, and the kid is able to sneak into the concert and play with the band. It’s equal parts funny, stupid and feel good and I can’t help but smile when I watch it. I text my brother a link to the video and tell him that I’m having one of those nights where I look at Dave Grohl and think, “Alec could do that.” I pause to explain that, “I don’t know exactly what I mean by that.” But I tell him have fun making that EP he and his band are making. I listen to the song fade out and check my phone, wishing I could pop in a Mento, choose happiness and figure out how to fix myself when I think of one last number I can call. I get up off the floor, walk over to my desk and slide the poem my mom gave me out from under the chip clip holding it to my picture frame. The poem was her dad’s. It’s titled “Don’t Quit,” and when I’m close to quitting I read the poem. When I want answers to questions I flip it over to the phone number written on the back under the name D. Imer. I have no idea who he might be is or what it might means. I open my phone, dial the number, and stop just short of calling. Not because I care about what the person on the other end will think of me or my voice, but because I don’t want to ruin the illusion I’ve created. Deep down I know it will not redirect me to a secret telephone line that will give me answers to all my questions.

#essays #theblondefiasco #writing

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randomredneck · 6 years ago

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What’s In Store

Some time ago, I asked the very nice @corvusiel if I could write a fic based on their grocery store Mabifica pics. I thought they just never answered. Turns out this hellsite ate the goddamn answer notification and I just found out they said yes. Anyway, here it is. I hope you enjoy.

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“Farewell happy fields, where joy forever dwells: Hail horrors, hail infernal world...”

That quote was a bit of an exaggeration given the situation it was being mentioned in. An average grocery store. But the blonde girl standing behind the counter wasn’t average. No, she was rich...or, she used to be.

“I’ve never even been to one of these places, and now I’m working here. Why me?”

This was Pacifica Northwest. Daughter of the formerly prestigious Northwest family. Formerly, because as of a few weeks ago, they were flat broke.

“Me, working in a grocery store. I could have bought this place if I wanted to. Now I’m working for...what is that thing regular people make...minimum wage? Yeah, that’s it.”

She sighed, trying not to dwell on her previous life of luxury. That just made the monotonous boredom of her new situation all the more maddening.

“How people don’t go insane from the dullness is beyond me. I wish something would liven this place up a little...”

She was about to get her wish and then some. She was broken from her moping when two hands slapped down on her counter.

“I need your glitteriest paint!”

She jumped near a foot at this. Though the surprise quickly changed from startling to intriguing. Cause her newest customer was cute. Short brown hair, a cheesy shirt reading ‘You make my heart meowlt’ and a general air of peppyness to her.

“I’m sorry, but we only sell food here.”

That did not seem to put a dent in her attitude.

“Do you have edible glitter?”

Pacifica suddenly realized this girl may have been a little...off.

“I am fairly certain that’s not a thing, miss.”

That caused the other girl to giggle. Said giggle strangely made Pacifica feel a lot less bored.

“Kind of weird to call someone the same age ‘Miss’, isn’t it? Let’s fix that. I’m Mabel.”

She extended her hand, Pacifica giving the expected shake.

“I’m Pacifica.”

Mabel’s ears perked up at that name.

“Pacifica, Pacifica...Northwest? Oh, I know you! I saw your family on the news. You were super duper rich and went totally broke when your dad invested in a bunch of startups that went belly up and also got sued to heck and back cause he embezzled from them, right?”

The annoyed glare Pacifica was giving her indicated yes, that was them.

“Yes. Thank you for reminding me of my situation. I’d almost forgotten...”

Mabel didn’t quite seem to grasp the sarcasm there.

“You’re welcome. Anyway, I have to go find that paint. You never know when you’re gonna need glittery paint. Ta-ta!”

She bounded out of the store, Pacifica shrugging.

“Weird girl.”

Well, the weirdness wasn’t over. As she found out the next day at work. When a walking pile of snack foods and 2 liter soda bottles waddled over to her register. Setting her veritable buffet down on the counter, the face of Mabel was revealed.

“Oh, hey! I forgot you worked here.”

Pacifica looked from her, to the mountain of snacks and whatnot before her, and back again.

“Are you stocking up for doomsday or something?”

She shook her head.

“No. Me and my brother prevented that last week...well, he did. I was on a date with this super cute girl...til it turned out she was working with that horde of 9th dimensional ghost Sasquatches my brother was dealing with...”

Pacifica rung up her items in a flash, lest this story get even weirder.

“Anyway, I’m stocking up for a party. I’m not sure who it’s for or what it’s celebrating, but my party sense has been tingling lately. I have a party sense you know. Ever since this time with a gnome and...”

Pacifica cleared her throat, motioning to the other customers waiting behind her.

“Oh, my bad. I’ll tell you some other time. Bye!”

She hauled her party supplies out the door, Pacifica taking one specific thing from that conversation.

“...She likes girls. Huh.”

Lo and behold, she was back the next day. Her booty this time was a 6 foot party sub.

“Where are you getting the cash to afford all this food? I was rich and even I think this is crazy.”

She set the sub down on the counter.

“Oh, I got struck by magical lightning from a Centaur wizard. Fun side effect is I know every sports score for the next 10 years. So when I need a little capital, I make a tiny bet. Piece of advice: American Samoa is gonna shock you at the next Olympics. Don’t tell anyone else.”

As she prepared to leave, she stopped for a second.

“Say, are you free this weekend? Cause this party I’ve been planning is this Saturday. You look like you could use a little fun.”

A party with a super weird, super cute girl she’d known for 3 minutes intervals for the past 3 days. Any sane person would say no.

“Sure. I guess it’s better than staying at that cheap rental house we’re living in right now.”

Mabel’s eyes lit up.

“Sweet. I’ll pick you up this weekend.”

She ran out with the sub in tow, Pacifica feeling a small blush filling her cheeks.

“...Huh. There it is again.”

The weekend approached way too slowly for Pacifica’s tastes. Standing outside the store, she waited for her chariot of fun to arrive.

“Hey, perspective pal of mine!”

Yet again, she jumped near a foot at the sound of her voice.

“Mabel, jeez. I didn’t even know you were here. Where’s your car?”

Mabel giggled.

“Who needs a car? I get here with this.”

She pulled a little slip of paper out of her pocket.

“Let’s go. Tropelet .em eus .Yrots acifibam tsal ym morf ekoj lleps sdrawkcab eht gnisuer m'I!”

In a flash, the two vanished from the store. And reappeared in the party area of some run down shack.

“Man, that’s never not fun. How was your first teleport spell?”

Her response was to run to the nearest trashcan and paint it with the last thing she ate.

“Oh, right. First time is always a little rough on the old tummy. But hey, now there’s room for all the party food. Happy birthday, Pacifica!”

Pacifica lifted her head from the trashcan.

“Wait, what?”

She glanced around the shack, laying eyes on the banner. And there in glittery paint was ‘Happy late birthday Pacifica!’

“Wait, how did you know when my birthday was?”

She laughed.

“Wikipedia. I saw that story about your family going broke. Then I Googled you cause the picture of you was super pretty. And I noticed you went poor a day before your birthday. That couldn’t have been a fun day. That’s when my party sense kicked in. And here we are!”

This almost complete stranger, who was also magic somehow, had just teleported her across who knows how far a distance to throw her a late birthday party based off an internet article. Pacifica should have been pissed off/weirded out/a little scared that magic existed. Instead, she actually started crying.

“This has been the worst few weeks of my life! I lost all my stuff, my house, my friends ditched me when the money,left and I had-”

Mabel quickly silenced her with a hug.

“Come on, now. A lady shouldn't cry at her party. Everyone is here for you. Now let’s party!”

Pacifica looked around, wiping her eyes.

“Uh...we’re the only ones here.”

Mabel looked around too, reading the paper again.

“Whoops. Threw a little time travel in there. We’re a few hours early. Hang on.”

One backwards incantation later, and the two popped into the right time frame, the room now full of people.

“There we go. Let’s party!”

And party they did. Mabel broke away from the crowd, covered in silly string and having a good time.

“Woo, I throw a good party.”

Pushing through the celebration, her brother leaned against the wall next to her.

“So that’s her, huh?”

Mabel nodded.

“Yup. The girl I saw myself married too when I accidentally jumped into the future by accident.”

Dipper scratched his cheek in worry.

“...Seriously though, Grenda? Would it be wrong to try and change the future.”

Mabel chuckled.

“I’m not changing mine for the world.”

#gravity falls #mabel pines #pacifica northwest #mabifica #fanfic #last story I'm posting here

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order-disorder-blog · 7 years ago

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My TOP 5 Festival Moments

Like I already wrote in my first blog post: I love festivals. And I attended a lot of festivals in the last years. Now I want to share my TOP 5 moments at festivals. I guess there are more than only five but these are the ones that totally stuck in my mind and I hope I will never forget them. Once I heard someone say “No photo can describe what you were feeling in this moment. So you keep these memories in the photo book of your heart” – I liked this quote.

So here are my TOP 5 festival moments:

5. The perfect sound track for a setting sun

So I start with my fifth favorite festival moment. It was 2009, I was 18 years old and it was my second festival I ever attended. It was the “Hurricane Festival” in Germany. I was there with several friends when bands like Faith No More, Arcade Fire and The Hives were playing. But there was one special band that created the perfect festival moment. It was a band you may have heard of if you’ve watched the film “Fight Club”. When my friends and I went to the festival area on Saturday evening the sun was about to go down. We just had barbecue and a beer and were looking forward to the headliner of the night. But before that there was this band playing on the main stage. I only heard the intro and I was like “Oh my god, the Pixies!”. While we were walking to the stage they started playing “Where Is My Mind”. This moment will forever stick in my mind and my heart because it was one of the most beautiful moments I ever had at a festival. I still keep this image in my mind. The setting sun, the great weather and this song.

Thank you Pixies!

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4. Feeling like a teenager again

In summer 2016 I attended three festivals. It was quite funny because I only planned to go to one of them. But it turned out that I was working at the second festival and I was accredited as a journalist for the third festival called “Chiemsee Summer”. It was the first time that I attended a festival as a music journalist for my music blog Hailtothebeat (If you know German you can check it out ;) ).

Me and my friend wrote an E-Mail to the festival to ask for an accreditation. Okay, to be honest, we only wanted to go there because two guys from our favorite band were doing a DJ gig at the festival and since we didn’t want to buy the expensive tickets we tried to get a press accrediting.

So we had this idea to write this E-Mail after a night with lots of drinks just for fun and it turned out that we got our accreditation for the festival and could go there for free. Of course we wrote our articles and did photos for our blog and it was just one of the best experiences I had since I started this music blog! We saw a lot of great bands playing and some bands we didn’t like – such as Limp Bizkit and The Prodigy – but there were two bands that let me feel like a teenager again.

When Sum 41 hit the stage I was like “OMG I listened to their music when I was 16 and now I get to see them live. After 10 fucking years!”. I didn’t even know that they did a new record – which is called “13 voices” and I can totally recommend it now that I listened to it! After Deryck Whibley’s total collapse because of alcohol addiction and his rehab they were back and they played all the songs I wanted to hear. They definitely let me feel like being 16 again.

One day later another band played that influenced my teenager years. When I was 17/18 I listened to a lot of hardcore/metalcore and one of these bands I listened to was Parkway Drive from Australia. I saw them one time live when I was 16. And now, 9 years later, I saw them again. Singer Winston McCall is not only a very hot guy but also a very funny guy. They played after a hip hop band and after them a German indie rock band was playing so they didn’t really fit into the running order but they did a great job. People were going crazy in the pogo and Parkway Drive beautified their show with some fireworks. For a short moment we were afraid they would burn the stage down but the firemen were standing next to the stage, so everything was safe.

That was not only a great festival moment but also a great final for one of the best festival summers I ever had!

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3. The sound check of my life

In summer 2014 I was at a festival called “Highfield”. Bands like Blink 182 and Macklemore & Ryan Lewis were playing. But on the last day there was also one band playing that is my favorite band for years: Beatsteaks (sorry that I mention them so often but I really love this band and I will write about them in another blog post).

On this Sunday which was the last day of the festival we woke up after a night full of rain. But in the morning the sun was shining. We had breakfast – Nutella toast and beer haha – and while we were enjoying our breakfast we suddenly heard some music coming from the festival area. We were confused because the festival started in the afternoon and it was only noon at that time. So we suggested that it was a sound check a band did. First we couldn’t really hear the music but after a few minutes it got louder. Since we were camping very close to the festival area we could hear the sound check very well. And on this Sunday our favourite band - that wasn’t playing live for two years until this Sunday - was doing sound check for their gig that night. Suddenly every one at the camping site was turning off their music and it seemed like everyone was listening to the sound check the Beatsteaks did on stage. Although no one could see them, people started singing and dancing along to their music at the camping site. It was just a great moment at a festival and I guess that’s what festivals are for! The Beatsteaks did a whole hour of sound check – I guess they had to rehearse a lot after a break of two years!

In the end the concert that night was just great and I never was so happy to see my favorite band playing live on stage again after they were forced to do a break because of a terrible accident the drummer had. This video was filmed during the concert at the festival:

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2. The best after show party ever

It was a festival I attended this year in June. Such a small festival called “Kosmonaut” which is decorated very beautiful and detailed. There were umbrellas hanging in the trees with lights in it! At the last day of the festival me and my friend went to the official (unofficial) after show party at the backstage tent where only people were allowed to go who had the “friends”-pass. Since we had it we thought “Oh we should go there!”. And what should I say? It was the best party I’ve ever been to!

The German band Kraftklub was hosting the festival and the party and they definitely know how to throw a good party. The DJ was playing such a great party set list. Only songs from the 90s and early 00s. Sometimes some newer German songs were being played but you could tell that the DJ, the hosts and most of the guests at the party were in their mid or late twenties according to the music at the party, haha.

We danced the whole night and had beer and sparkling wine. People were even crowdsurfing in the party tent. What a crazy night! When we left the party in the early morning the sun was already shining. So we went outside and sat down at the lake next to the tent (the whole festival was taking place close to a lake). We were just giggling (not only because we were drunk), it was just a funny and crazy night. Partying with some really funny and likable music fans was just awesome and great. We were just laughing when we passed the empty festival area to go back to the camping site. I don’t know what the security guy must have thought when we passed him tottering.

Maybe the last drink wasn’t a good idea and maybe only four hours of sleep during the whole weekend wasn’t good either – but it was WORTH it! The train ride back home was the worst train ride I’ve ever had because I was so hangover but it was the best weekend ever! <3

This is the official after movie:

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1. “There goes my hero….”

It was the summer of 2015. It was so hot outside, like 30 degrees. I was attending the German festival “Rock im Park” with bands like The Prodigy, Slipknot, Bastille, Marilyn Manson and many German bands. The first day was and will ever be the best day of the whole festival! First my favorite band Beatsteaks played – which is always a pleasure as I already mentioned – but second, the headlining band on this first day were the Foo Fighters! I saw them once when I was 17 on my first festival ever. But at that time I didn’t know many songs and the sound was bad so I was looking forward to other bands that played at this festival. But seven years later I was sooooooo nervous and curious to see the Foo Fighters again.

We were already at the festival since noon and because of the weather we were totally fucked up. But when Dave Grohl and the Foo Fighters entered the stage I felt totally happy and fit again. They started with “Everlong” and played all the great songs like “Learn To Fly” and “Times like These”. But there was one song that made me totally emotional.

After half of the set (so let’s say after 90 minutes – the Foo Fighters play very long concerts) Dave Grohl went on the stage in the middle of the audience and he was all alone with only a acoustic guitar in his hands. And he started playing this song.

“My Hero”

While he was playing I got goosebumps! And when everyone was singing along to the chorus I just forgot myself. It was THE BEST moment I ever experienced at a festival. 80 000 people singing along to “My Hero” while Dave Fucking Grohl was playing the song only with an acoustic guitar. I will never forget that moment.

I’m actually watching the live stream of the Foo Fighters gig from Lollapalooza Berlin 2017 and I get goosebumps again. If my 17year old me would have known that the best concert I’ve ever been to will be a Foo Fighters concert seven years later, maybe my 17year old me would have appreciated it more.

I hope they will tour soon here in Germany and this time I will definitely attend a concert to finally see them again!

“There goes my hero Watch him as he goes There goes my hero He’s ordinary”

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#music #festival #festival love #festival summer #foo fighters #pixies #sum 41 #parkway drive #beatsteaks #blog

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thegirlwhowrotelove-blog · 7 years ago

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Mess’n With Tha Funk Ch. 4

Nayla P.o.V

"Wake up, come on sleeping beauty" Stella said tripping over her shoes while putting her jeans on hoping side to side balancing. I looked up at the clock and realized what time it was I hopped out of bed and ran to the bathroom "Why didn't your alarm turn on"? Stella said as I opened the bathroom door and put toothpaste on my toothbrush and started brushing "Well I thought I did" I said as I looked at the sink water running around the sink.

"It's fine a late tardy will be okay" Stella said "My dad isn't going to kill me yet" She said under her breath as she brushed her hair back and put it in a bun.

Personally I met Stella online, PenPal site and I started talking to her of course the time difference was strange but we managed and when we couldn't managed we've always found our ways. Stella would always answer her phone to a certain person or people in Korean sadly I can't speak it so it's hard. I never met Stella's mom or dad I don't even know if she has siblings or not but it's okay or whatever because this is my first year with her and I don't blame her for keeping things too personal.

"Come on LA" She said as she grabbed her car keys pressing the unlock button to her car as we heard the car noise and the flashing lights "Okay it's 07:10 am we're good okay" She said taking a deep breath "It'll only take us about 20 minutes to get there if we take this route to Yonsei but if we cut there here then maybe depending on the traffic, okay we're going to be just fine" She said as she started up the car and drove.

"Calm down Stella" I said looking at her with a smile as she looked at me and chuckled "Sorry this isn't like me to just be late or little late I've always been early and perfectly on time" She said as I looked at her "Well nobody's perfect but it doesn't mean to doubt yourself neither so the good thing about life is you keep smiling" I said as she chuckled a little more "What"? I said

"Why such a basic quote" She said as I looked at her "Basic Quote"? I replied

"Yeah you know keep your head up type of quotes" She said "Those quotes you looked up for your instagram post like back in 2014 those type of basic quotes" She included and started to laugh.

"Oh you got jokes" I said as she laughed and I couldn't help but to laugh at how she reacted.

***

"Okay so 12 pm I'll meet you here for our little lunch and what time do you need to be at work"? Stella said putting her purse over her shoulder and her books under her chest while she fixed her look in the reflection of the car window.

"I think at 6:30pm-12pm" I said as she looked up at me and stood there

"12pm!, Don't they care about your education I need to talk to my dad....." She paused "Well you need to talk to them about that because that is so unhealthy I mean it's stupid in my point of view. She said walking beside me.

"I don't mind I think I can handle it" I said as I carried my small designed flower book bag on my back and clicking my Iphone on and off.

"It doesn't matter what you say verbally LA the only thing that matters if it's healthy for you" Stella said.

I forgot she was a different major than me then again she's good in communication, Stella Majors in Law Enforcement which I'm not surprised this girl loves to argue.

"Look call that stupid boss of yours LA and tell him about your health because that is stupid" She said as she split ways as I waved to her and said "Okay".

***

Walking into my class was like walking into a stadium.. okay maybe I'm over thinking it but I don't like being late and walking into a full class even tho EWHA has about a 50 class rate of students in just one class this place feels like it's more than just 50. I stepped to the second row like mid-row because I don't know I feel "Complete" when I'm in the middle I sat down put my bag on my side and pulled out my notebook and my laptop and sat it on my desk.

"Seat taken"? a manly voice said as I looked up "Um no it's fine you can seat here" I said as he excused himself and sat right beside me.

He was handsome, very handsome like too much of handsome in his genes

"Media and Communications, this class is really big for it to be 50 students, Guess some people really want this teacher" He said with a smirk I didn't say anything to him nor looked at him because I had nothing to say to him it would've been awkward shit it was already awkward.

"Oh sorry, my name is Ruiji Wang nice to meet you" He said as he held his hand out and smiled.

I looked at his hand and it felt like I was forced to shake his hand in good manner and I did my mom didn't raise me to not have manners. I held on his hand as he placed his opposite hand on top of mine and bowed which made me blush he was good looker.

"Um sorry my name is Nayla but my friends call me LA" I said as he looked at me "Hello LA first time in South Korea" he said as I looked at him and nodded "Yep, well I've been here a couple of times but I'm getting gifs of things" I said calmly as the teacher walked in.

"HELLO CLASS, Day 2 of Media and Communications"

***

I started to finish up my last bit of notes that I took from my phone because these professors don't play. I walked out of class as I heard someone calling my name I turned around and it was the Ruiji he put his cap on his head and quickly walked towards me.

"Hey... Are you busy tonight"? He said as I looked at him

"Me.. umm yeah I have work" I said as I looked at his dark brown eyes

"Well when ever you don't have work maybe I can take you out to eat some time whenever you're free"?

I looked at him blankly in his face and frozen up for me to be such a "Attractive woman" I sure do know how to pull this one off it's just he's so good looking once I thought I good looking man like him was talking to me I looked at him "Sure" and once I said that I was smiling as if he put a little love spell on me.

"Okay, I'll see you soon" He said as I watched him and waved at him bye.

I sat down looking at my phone clicking it on and off and looked at the time 12pm and right when I looked up Stella was walking her way looking as if she was born from a diamond.

"At least your early to our little meeting" I said as I got up and fixed myself

"Shockingly, stupid teacher thinks she can give the whole entire class a project on the second day I didn't know we were back in High School" She said as I chuckled.

"Did you call your job"? She said as I looked at her "Um No maybe you could drop me off" I said as she groaned to the sky.

"I understand you're trying to like make money be your own person and what not but jesus LA you're a freshman in College this is your year to take a break" She said as I looked at her

"I know Stella but how would I learn besides I'm trying aren't I" I said as I walked to her car and unlocked it as we got in "okay" she said as she turned up the radio.

***

Stella dropped me off as I looked at the cafe sign and I signed as well "Work" at least I'm not working at dominos. I walked in and it was so packed oh yeah I think they will be needing me tonight "HEY NEWBIE" the girl said as I tried to focus on who was calling me she was a real pretty female to she jumped over the counter "Annyeong" she said as she stopped herself with a gasped "I mean HEY" she said as I chuckled "Annyeong is the only korean word I know so far" I said as she chuckled raising her voice for me to hear over the laughter and chatter.

"Come back here I'll show you around" She said grabbing my hand and pulling me to her location and showing me the magic behind it all "OKAAAYYYY Newbie you got a name"? She said as I looked at her as she turned around and flipped her long black hair.

"Nayla but feel free to call me LA" I said with a smile she looked at me "you have a nice smile no wonder Zuko hired you, okay so here are the cooks Gray, Tokyo Hemi" I looked at these dudes and I've never seen such beautiful men in my life did I really just step in a new world were only beautiful people lived I waved as they nodded their heads up "They talk a lot but today isn't a good day for them. In my mind I was totally fangirling "SOOOOO COOOL"

"Okay so now the baristas Jennie, Lani, Genesis and Taylor they're the social ones always welcome to party with them they don't bite" "Okay so now the baristas Jennie, Lani, Genesis and Taylor they're the social ones always welcome to party with them they don't bite"

*Jennie below*

*Tokyo and Gray Hemi*

*Lani Below*

*Genesis Below*

*Taylor Below*

"Super Cool" I said in my head as my eyes showed everything, they took orders some admired their looks while others were just here for the food "Super Cool" I said in my head as my eyes showed everything, they took orders some admired their looks while others were just here for the food. "Okay come on they're pretty cool too but I love this place more, the cashier spot plot" She said as bowed "I'm Rania, head of the first cashier been working here since I was 16 so I'm pretty familiar with things all of these people you see in here have been working here with me since 16 years old so this is a family and your welcomed. "So it's me Rania of course, Zuko when he gets here, Jun the real bad boy over there making those adorable girl's tea and my favorite couple in here Miro and Jillian which they should be here right about now".

Rania looked at the time as Miro and Jillian walked in together "Hello Rania don't break down, the power couple is here" Miro said as Jillian hugged him "Looks like we finally got a newbie thank GOD I hate seeing the same dang people" Jillian said with a laugh. They both signed in and greeted me with a smile which was cute because now I ship them forever.

*Rania below*

*Jun Below*

*Miro and Jillian*

*Zuko Below*

"Well that's us, let me get you signed in and I'll start training you right away" she said as she paced back and forth handing me a appearan "Okay so we're gonna keep you up front no one wants to not see a pretty smile like yours? Right Jun"? She ... "Well that's us, let me get you signed in and I'll start training you right away" she said as she paced back and forth handing me a appearan "Okay so we're gonna keep you up front no one wants to not see a pretty smile like yours? Right Jun"? She said as Jun looked at me and kept working "He can be a little ass once and awhile but it's fine we have those moments".

"Is it always this busy"? I asked as Miro looked at me handing me a cup of iced nino black coffee "Ummm I would say yes and I would say no depending on kpop stars and actors and actresses that come in here once and awhile I suppose a boy band is here today"? Genesis came up front "Yeah a boy band alright, man did it's crazy out there I would kill to have that attention" He said putting down his tip book on the counter.

"Cute boy group wonder who it is"? Taylor said as her cheeks got bigger "Monsta X ohhhhh what if it is Monsta X"? She said exciting.

"How much you wanna bet it's not Monsta X"Genesis said as Taylor looked at him.

"Why wouldn't it be Monsta X" She pleaded as he looked at her and chuckled.

"Look I'm a good looking guy Monsta X wouldn't come all the way over here to just get a big ass cookie and coffee when they can go to their own company cafe" Genesis said as we watched the group of girls scatter.

"So you guys have famous people coming in here like regular"? I asked as they looked at me

"Um yeah, see some girls freak out when they see kpop stars or actresses and actors and some don't we get autographs" Rania said.

"We get photos" Lani said as she looked at the wall of celebrities

"Even Lee Dong Wook Phone number" Jennie said as they all looked at her

"Lee Dong Wook has better options than you Jennie" Genesis said as everyone laughed.

"Can a girl dream one day I will achieve that goal" Jennie said as they kept laughing.

"I bet it's Got7" Jun said as we all looked at him.

"Well it could be Got7" Jillian agreed as we walked over the counter and sorted things out.

"I heard BamBam changed his hair to red" Taylor said as she drunk her tea

"EW why red I loved him with his blonde hair" Jennie said as they sat on the counters it started to get a little quiet which I realized I didn't really do anything but talk to these people which I had no problem and I listened to all the side conversations.

"Jackson is so cute with blonde hair, Hey LA which Got7 member do you like"? Rania asked as they all looked at me I looked at them and chuckled.

"If only I knew got7" I said silently as Rania looked at me "WOW you really didn't come to South Korea to find your Kpop crush meet him and hopefully marry him huh" Miro said as Jillian hit his chest.

"Like a Kdrama I love those but I'm not really into Kpop" I said as Jennie looked at me "You're lying" She said as I laughed "Yeah" I looked at their faces and it was in total shock.

"Got7"? I said as they showed me a picture of all of them "OHHHHHHH GIRLS GIRLS GIRLS" they looked at me and busted into laughter "WHAT" I said as Taylor mocked me "Seriously you don't know got7 do you know who BTS is or Sexy OPPAS EXO"? She said as I nodded my head.

"Yeah I know BTS and EXO I just well it didn't come to mind" I said shyly "Well at least you're not familiar with them at least you know what you came here for instead of chase the guy of your dreams" Jun said as they looked at me "Well that was a good laugh but we need to take you to concerts so you'd get into that korean drama mood what type of guys you like huh"? Taylor said as Tokyo and Gray came to the front with us "Apparently Asian men" they said as Jennie coughed on her drink.

"I watched this youtube video of these kpop artist enjoying a little chocolate so I'm just putting out some facts" Tokyo said with a wink of the eye I blushed as they looked at me "Why do you think she moved to South Korea if anything she could've moved to England there's varieties" Gray said playing with Lani hair. "I can hook you up with some of my people that love that chocolate magic or we can hook up"? Tokyo said as Rania got up and stopped the conversation "OKAY Zuko is back everyone up, up, up she said as I blushed even harder.

Wow this was interesting day

#kpocwriters #Kpop #Monsta X #EXO #BTS #Got7 #Got 7 #Dab 7 #Dab7 #Wattpad #AMBW #Jackson Wang

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matchaball · 8 years ago

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"Get To Know Me (Some More)”

i completely forgot you tagged me in this @qookyquiche but i just found it in my drafts haha. thanks for the tag! ♥

1) Coke or Pepsi? neither

2) Disney or Dreamworks? both (if pressed, my final answer is ghibli)

3) Coffee or Tea? tea

4) Books or movies? books!

5) Windows or mac? mmmm i’m gonna say mac since i’ve used it longer

6) D.C. or Marvel? marvel? i’m not too invested in either tbh

7) Xbox or PlayStation? playstation!

8) Dragon age or mass effect? neither

9) Night owl or early riser? night owl... all my all-nighters....

10) Cards or chess? cards. i think i’d like chess a lot more if i actually knew how to play haha.

11) Chocolate or vanilla? chocolate :D

12) Vans or converse? converse

13) Lavellan, Trevelyan, Cadash, or Adaar? ??????

14) Fluff or angst? floof :’)

15) Beach or forest? ooohhh. beach i think.

16) Dogs or cats? BOTH ♥

17) Clear skies or rain? clear skies :’)

18) Cooking or eating out? eating out. i’m not that great at cooking haha

19) Spicy or mild food? spicyyyyy >:)

20) Halloween/Samhain or solstice/yule/Christmas? christmas!!! i love the holiday season with all the festivities and spirit and cheer :DDD

21) Would you rather forever be a little too cold or a little too hot? too cold. i really don’t handle heat well at all lmao

22) If you could have a superpower what would it be? i’d love the power to be able to speak/understand/read any language in the world (universe??? keeping my options open) instantly

23) Animation or live action? animation!!! :DDD

24) Paragon or renegade? ????

25) Bath or shower? shower

26) Team Cap or team Ironman? team hulk

27) Fantasy or sci-fi? i really like both :D even better if it’s both together!

28) Do you have 3 or 4 favorite quotes if so what are they? [ and the universe said... ] [ For the body, touched / by newer terrors, becomes a wing / attempting, not flight, but to fold / in a way that makes / flying, when it comes, a kind / of severance. ] [ What is a legacy? It’s planting seeds in a garden you never get to see. ] i'm so mad at this question, i have 120 pages alone filled with quotes and poems that i love, and 20 pages of that which are my favourite. anyway here’s the rest of them.

29) YouTube or Netflix? netflix. nothing enables my bingeing of tv shows and movies more.

30) Harry Potter or Percy Jackson? harry potter. i’ve never read/seen percy jackson, though it looks like something i’d enjoy

31) When do you feel accomplished? when i finish a project (i feel like i’m just copying all your answers qooky haha)

32) Star Wars or Star Trek? star wars!

33) Paperback books or hardcover books? paperback

34) Fantastic beasts or Cursed child? fantastic beasts

35) Rock or pop music? mmm maybe pop

36) What is the most important thing in your life? LUNA ❤

37) Mountains or sea/ocean? ocean, though i’ve discovered i do need mountains around too. totally flat land sort of depresses me.

38) How do you express yourself? most clearly and consistently through writing i think. when i’m super excited about something i tend to gesture a lot as i talk. if i’m upset, i totally close myself off.

39) What’s the first book/film that really counted to you? maybe totoro? that was the first ghibli movie i watched and the chord it struck in me still resonates through today

40) What’s your element (air, water, etc.)? air! a confusing discovery for me since i thought aquarius was a water sign

41) If you could travel anywhere, where would you go? at this very moment, austria. i’ve been aching to revisit the architecture and museums, plus i’d love to try some of the hiking around there.

42) If you had any job in the world, what would it be? an animator at any of the big studios :’)))

43) If you were granted three wishes, what would they be? i’d likely give the three wishes to someone else tbh, i feel like this would only end up blowing up in my face

44) If you had to eat one food for the rest of your life, what would it be? udon noodles :’DDDD i dunno why i love them so much but they’re SO DANGED GOOD

45) If you could only have one, which social media platform would you use for the rest of your life? at this point, tumblr wins by default. i don’t use anything else. twitter, on the very rare occasion. i’m just a grandma who can’t understand twitter’s interface no matter what i try to do lmao

tagging @harunamotokis @lineya21 @kwamikwami @larvesta @lunecake @snozzbear @gorovaia @siderealsandman @wifalya + anyone else who’d like to do this!

#long post #ask meme #this is like a month late lmfao but better late than never!

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resbang-bookclub · 8 years ago

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AMA Transcript: I got 99 problems and Medusa is all of them

This weekend, @adulterclavis (Bones) and @eisschirmchen dropped by to talk about their 2016 Resbang, I got 99 problems and Medusa is all of them. Here's some of what went down:

Q: Was this the ending you planned or was it just a result of 'omg I need to finish'?

Bones: Kind of both. The epilogue thing was the result of everyone on my server yelling at me. Also I forgot to include "who here has felt personally victimized by Medusa Gorgon," so I took that opportunity.

Q: I think you said that originally this was just a Mean Girls inspired AU right? Please explain where the other aspect came from!

Bones: The other aspect came from the fact that I watched Jennifer's Body and went: THAT is what my Resbang needs to jazz it up. It definitely was originally just Mean Girls.

Q: Wanna talk about your creative process a little, Bones? How you work, maybe how music is involved?

Bones: Ha.. hahaha. Hold on, let me try to find my outline. There was a lot of stuff like this:

Bones: I had a more detailed outline, but the last chunk got mostly ignored. I had a lot of this preplanned just for the sake of sanity. You can't wing 45k over the course of a few weeks and not hate everything in the universe.

Q: Eis, what was your artistic process like?

Eis: Lots of sweating and crying to be honest. To stress whenever I can because I know my butt needs a lot of kicks lol.

Q: What was your favourite piece, Eis?

Eis: My favorite piece... hmmmmm. Certainly this. This is my favorite drawing:

Q for Eis: I've always been curious what program you use!

Eis: I use Paint Tool SAI. :)

Q: Dark Eis, could you maybe show us Wes?

Eis: I CAN. Here is the super fancy, super secret Wes I drew after posting date:

Bones: Wes Evans: vampire hunter.

Q for Bones: My fave scene is when Medusa is singing Monster while eating Noah... did that just happen or were you listening to Monster one day and thought "ya know this is how Medusa eats a guy I swear"?

Bones: Oh THAT SHIT. That shit is the only reason I wrote this Resbang I think. Somehow early on I started talking about Medusa and Nicki's Monster verse and, unimportantly, realized that it's in meter, but the point is: there was no way I wasn't writing that in. Then the opportunity presented itself and I was like well, this is how I include it. Poor Noah.

Q: I just rememebr staring at my phone screen, unsure whether to laugh or be like ewww XD.

Bones: That was the goal. Writing it I was like 'wow this is horrible' but I neither stopped writing or stopped laughing.

Eis: Bones sitting in her chair, a birb on each shoulder and top of her head and laughing like a maniac while typing.

Q: Do you want to talk about the metal covers segment of your process? Or the tacky houses?

Bones: The metal covers portion of my life sure was a time. Please enjoy: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vmzz516cAnw.

Q: Tell us about your late night bode epiphany.

Bones: I can't even freaking remember it. Let's be real about this. I needed there to be a slang term that B* was trying to make happen. I'd actually been lowkey trying to figure it out for months, and then bode... happened, and I was like THAT. THAT IS THE THING.

Q: Bones, what was the hardest scene to write and Eis, what was the hardest thing to draw?

Bones: I want to say probably the last bit there, where Medusa rolls back up. I may have been a little delirious.

Eis: Drawing the car was the hardest part, made me legit cry.

Bones: Poor Eis and the car. I gave her a reference.

Eis: YES AND I'M FOREVER GRATEFUL FOR SAID REFERENCE. Bones has like a reference or link for everything. It's awesome.

Bones: For some reason I always sit around and pick out cars for people, so thankfully I had something ready for her.

Q: Okay so question re: something that was NOT in the Resbang but that I felt was implied. Was Arachne doing some hokey pokey shit to Giriko's dad?

Bones: Yeah, that was something I didn't have a chance to elaborate on. She was definitely slowly poisoning him to get his money. Or eat his soul. Maybe both. Oh right, I should show them Chainsaw. For your listening pleasure, Giriko's theme song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qdJicpjitMM. I make playlists for everything and they are a travesty.

Q: You're a master at making us feel things for characters who, in canon, are dicks. Wanna talk a little about how you characterize people when you write? Or your approach to it?

Bones: You may have noticed I write AUs like it is my job. So the deal is, I have this basic idea of the characteristics of a given character, like how they are at base level, and then I just take that and go okay, how would this mix with or be affected by a life in x world, or by x set of experiences? And that's how you get Fire and Light Maka, or 99 problems Giriko and/or Justin. Like Giriko is still a dick but... Reasons. Giriko just wanted to run away with Justin and save him from his shitty home life.

Q for Eis: Do you listen to any mood-setting music as well?

Eis: My music taste is pretty much all over the place... but I did try to pick some music that would fit the situation. It didn't work all the time, so I was listening to some love songs while drawing everyone in the car. :D Needed some love songs to not completely lose it with drawing the freaking car!

Q: Eis, I love your Maka with a topbun.

Eisdorable: Thank you! Maka with the topbun is the best, but she rocks all hair styles tbh.

Q for the both of you: LET'S GET MUSHY, what was your fav part about working with the other?

Bones: Eis is the most cinnamon bun to ever cinnamon bun.

Eis: lfgkjdölfhjfglhkjflghkjskfj

Bones: Also, that. Umlaut keysmashes.

Eis: AHAHAHAHHA here for you öäü

Bones: But on a slightly more serious note, Eis worked super hard even if she didn't think she did. I spent the whole time going 'I have to not do all this at the last minute so I'm not a dick to Eis.'

Eis: I really feel like I slacked a lot, but maybe this was just because I had school and was away for two weeks during the time. ;n; Or four weeks in total? idk.

Bones: Yeah okay so like Eis went to school and worked and then came home and drew me stuff. Consistently.

Q: Same question for you Eis, what was your fav part about working with Bones?

Bones: Eis is probably trying to think of a polite way to tell you all that I'm insane.

Eis: I enjoyed everything to be honest, I loved the talking that wasn't about Resbang, then enjoyed talking about Resbang, loved to show Bones my art and get approval, and read her fic and cry laughing. And ask her all of the questions and have everything answered, most times even with a link. HAHAHAHAH YOU'RE NOT INSANE. Or not much more than me. :)

Bones: Oh wait my other favorite thing was Eis, the ultimate cinnamon bun, being like 'I can't wait to draw some blood."

Eis: AND THEN I NEVER DID DRAW BLOOD WHAAT. Or not as much as I wanted. :c

Bones: No one is stopping you, Eis.

Eis: *wiggles eyebrows*

Q: What was the most fun to write, Bones? And the most fun to draw, Eis?

Bones: Most fun to write had to be the archive bit - not JUST Medusa quoting Monster, but the setup. I liked having an opportunity to truthfully indicate how weird archives are. The tar coming up from the cracks in the floor thing was not a fabrication, but something I have personally experienced. Plus then they got to play Assassin's Creed for a minute there, creeping around.

Eisdorable: The most fun to draw were certainly the chibis. :)

Q: Eis did you learn anything new about drawing during this Resbang?

Eis: YES! Yes I got to know how to make gifs with Photoshop! To create the little cheerleader Soul lol. And I learned that I hopefully never have to draw a car again :)

Q: Can there be a 99 problems SoMa art in the future?????

Eis: I could try, because I would love to draw them in a romantic set up, even though romantic would be handholding in this case :) But I would love to do the thing. I'm currently studying for my final exams in May, have one art trade and a big commission due the end of next month, so I have to push that romantic drawing towards the future sadly.

Q: Do you have a couple fav beta comments?

Bones: Maybe this chain re: warblr:

Bones: Okay so, story time. One day fab tried to type 'warbler' as in a bird but typed 'warblr' instead, and that's how that happened.

Bones:

Eis: Marsh is the best. Her comments made me laugh ugly.

Bones: This... entire thing:

Eis: "This outfit is Gucci" still makes me crack up so much. IT'S THE FREAKING BEST.

Bones: Remember all the Gucci shoes I looked up, that all had snakes on them?

Bones:

Bones: I knew they were all at the end. When things got SUPER CRAZY was when the comment game got fun. By the end I had pretty much lost my mind.

Eis: I was with you Bones. Freaked out of having too little art. I was young and stupid.

Bones: I did better this year, in terms of not writing everything at the last second. My main goal is not to have a repeat of Bad Romance.

Eis: *proud pat on shoulder*

Bones: Do not write 22k in two days guys. Don't. The last two thirds of Bad Romance I wrote in two days.

Q: If you could be friends with anyone in the fic, who would you wanna befriend?

Bones: Kid.

Eis: I would love to be befriend Soul to be honest, most times he was the poor little cinnamon roll and I love him forever.

Q: What advice would you give to new Resbang participants now that both of you have done many Resbangs?

Bones: Oh my god, you monster. "Don't be me" is my advice. To elaborate: make yourself an outline ASAP, and a daily writing goal. And stick to it, so you don't have to do what I did. It's MUCH EASIER to write like 500 words or 1k a day for a month or two. And as a bonus you don't end up wanting to throw youself out a window. It's also a lot easier to get that 1k a day down if you have at least a partial plan. Plus, when you're in the middle of writing something it's much more difficult to set up a convincing plot, i.e. be objective. Though that problem is much more pronounced when you're 75k through a 120k novel.

Eis: Yeah, I agree with Bones. Time management is super important. Don't underrestimate this. I mean, probably no problem when you do one drawing. It's no competition [for] who gets the most done or something. But if you plan on doing a lot of things, time management/an outline is important to keep your head above water.

Q: What was the latest both of you were up to working on parts of this?

Bones: Idk, probably like 3 a.m.

Eis: I was up until 4:50am that one time. *sweats*

Bones: ...Eis.

Eis: SLEEP IS FOR THE WEAK I DONT NEED IT. Except a lot. I need sleep. I love sleep.

Q: Did you guys learn anything from each other during this partnership?

Bones: I learned that Eis is a million times more adorbs than I realized.

Eis: Oh yes, Bones taught me a lot about American politics :) And [I learned] that Bones is the most collected and calmest person I've ever met.

Bones: Also I won't lie, when they told me Eis picked me I felt like I had won the lottery. I was also confused. Did you read my summary?

Eis: Yes and it was love at first sight. I was squeaking and capslocking a lot about how much I wanted your fic Bones.

Q: What are you guys working on next?

Bones: I am working on ten thousand years of worldbuilding for my original stuff, and hopefully Fire and Light. That and sorting out this 950 song playlist that is really out of hand. And getting like 60 pages of handwritten notes sorted out. I wish 60 pages was an exaggeration but sadly it is not.

Eis: [I'm working] on fandom stuff, for an art trade with ahshesgone and a commission for a user next month which I don't want to name yet, I don't want to ruin the surprise ;u; and lots of studies for my final exams orz. Finals are ewww and I'm 100% terrified that I'm gonna mess up :D

Q: What did the process look like to pick and choose which bits you pulled from each movie?

Bones: I don't think I really have a process for that.

Q: Was there anything that you wanted to include that you didn't get to?

Bones: there were a lot of things I kind of meant to address, like the thing with Arachne and Giriko's dad. I just forget them in the process of writing, which is why I advocate lists and outlines. I also kind of meant to go into more detail with a lot of things like Justin's home situation but seriously, it would have been 100k.

Q: What would you have done with the Arachne bit?

Bones: It was a tossup. I think I was gonna have her be slowly poisoning him so she could use him to achieve ultimate power, since she and Medusa were feuding. So I mean if I ever write more of this, it'll probably be about that.

Q: Eis how did you pick what you wanted to draw?

Bones: I think she was a little freaked out that I didn't have a list of stuff I wanted.

Eis: Honestly, I was freaking out. Like whaaaat, you have no certain wishes??? How even??? I'm so used to people telling me their wish and I work with that. :)

Bones: I'm not used to ever getting art. I thought it might be more fun for you to pick stuff you liked.

Eis: So yeah, how did I pick the things.... I usually stick with the things that inspire me, to be honest. So some scenes turned out different than the ones in the story, but it always worked out with no problems. I pick things that inspire me, may it be a fun scene or something that makes me think of it. It was super fun to pick the scenes I liked, gave me lots of room to be creative. :) [I] stick with things that make me linger there longer. There were quite a few, I actually had a lot more scenes I wished to draw but I haven't had the chance yet. It's also scenes that I'm curious about [what] they would look like as a drawing sometimes.

Q: Ooo do you remember what they were?

Eis: Oh yeah! I would have loved to draw the scene with Giriko, Justin and Soul in Giriko's car, in which Justin was all tired and Giriko tried to get school stuff done, because tired Justin seems like the most adorable thing??? And I would have loved to draw the scene in Soul's house, when everyone gathers there to plan what they do, after Soul and Maka saw Medusa eating Noah.

Bones: Soul crying into a pizza box.

Eis: And Giriko, Justin and Soul eating pizza and was it Kid that made tea for them??? And I would love to draw Soul in a lot [of] embarassing old clothes. AND THE HAND HOLDING SCENE BETWEEN MAKA AND SOUL OF COURSE.

---

Thanks to our creators for stopping by! More transcripts coming soon!

#AMA transcripts #resbang book club #rbbc #resbang

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anythingstephenking · 6 years ago

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Sometimes being a bitch is all a woman's got to hold on to

You know how some people write inspirational quotes on post-its on their bathroom mirror? Well this is mine and my new life mantra.

Sometimes being a bitch is all a woman's got to hold on to.

Here’s my story of my time with Dolores. It began in Asheville, NC, where I stopped for a night on my way to visit with my family outside Charlotte. I did grownup things like sip wine and eat a cheese plate, all while reading and eavesdropping on other people’s conversations. It was a lovely evening that ended with a bluegrass band at a brewery, and I trotted home full, happy and a little drunk. I spent the morning wandering art galleries, eating breakfast (again with my book) but strong black coffee instead of high gravity beer. And at some point, I put down my first edition hardback of Dolores Claiborne and forgot to pick it up.

I realized when I got to the lake, greeted my family and settled in on the porch to catch a few pages before dinner. My book was gone forever and I was sad. Mostly because I had nothing to occupy my time while the kids were out waterskiing and I was lounging because me and water sports really do not get along.

With a 6 hour drive ahead of me, I broke down and downloaded the audio book to keep me company on the way home. I generally dislike audio books, and this really wasn’t an exception. The narrator sounded like Bunny MacDougal with a bad Maine accent.

(After typing this I felt bad for making fun of this voice actress, and Googled who she was to give her credit. Frances Sterhagen. IT IS BUNNY MACDOUGAL. The whole time I was listening to Bunny MacDougal do a bad Maine accent. I feel so vindicated right now.)

But given the format of the novel (a continuous monologue from Dolores, with no chapter breaks or other dialogue) it seems serendipitous to spend the drive back from Charlotte to Nashville finishing the book this way.

Meanwhile, the sprinklers in the unit above mine went off while I was away, and currently my house smells of damp death that I can only assume is mold having a serious mating party. After only 2 days of dealing with insurance companies, I cried 3 times and spent the day yesterday moping like a grounded teenager. But as I finished the last 30 mins or so of the audio book this morning I thought “Be a bitch - it’s all you have to hold onto.” So here I am, gearing up for a couple months of arguments, ugliness, and living in a fucking extended stay hotel with a cat for 2 months.

So now that I’ve finished making this story entirely about me, let’s actually dive into Dolores Claiborne. Set on the fictional Little Tall Island off the coast of Maine, the events mostly revolve on or around the total eclipse of July 20th, 1963 - much like Geralds Game.

King himself was just shy of 16 in 1963, living in Durham, Maine with his mother, brother and grandparents. His mother was taking care of her parents and the two boys alone after her husband left them when the boys were young. The family moved back to Maine in 1958, when King was 11, leaving him to come of age in small town Maine. The eclipse must have effected him quite a bit in his youth, devoting two novels back-to-back about what happened when the sun went out.

Dolores lives the typical (if not stereotypical) small town existence - marries her high school boyfriend after getting knocked up, spends her days working her fingers to the bone to give her kids a better life, all while getting smacked around by her drunk of a useless husband. She knows she’s been dealt a shit hand, but that doesn’t stop her from fighting back when the going gets tough.

King paints Claiborne as a perfect heroine - you’re rooting for her from page one. And it’s not just her funny sayings that make her endearing (“kiss my back cheeks” was my personal favorite) but her no nonsense way of telling it like it is, for better or for worse. She admits to having a foul mouth and a fouler temper, but who cares? She’s faced so much adversity and keeps getting up, we’re just proud of her for knowing who she is and not apologizing for it.

Well, most of it. We learn she killed her husband Joe’s during that faithful July day while the sun was behind the moon and the town had their faces in their reflector boxes. She did it, not because he hit her and drank like a fish, but because she discovered he had been diddling his own daughter. Good riddance, ya fackin’ asshole.

For the second story in a row, we’re left pondering what makes a monster, human or otherwise. The NYT 1992 review of this book ends with:

But Dolores's story would have been so much more appealing if the men had been human beings, too, with human histories to explain their deviations into evil. But for the time being at least, Mr. King is still writing horror stories about the contest between good people and monsters.

It’s true - there’s not a male (adult) character in this book that isn’t a giant turd-wad. With Joe’s singular redeeming quality being his smooth forehead (for real), there’s no real conflict over the morality of murdering the sonofawhore.

But at the end of the day, my takeaway is that King can write a story of triumph over monsters, whether real or imaginary, human or supernatural, with the same ease and page turning (or listening) ability. I think that’s why I am still here, 31 books into this little project.

8/10

FUN FACT: This was the best selling book of 1992, but also the year where Nick Nolte was People Magazine’s Sexiest Man Alive, so I leave little faith in the American people of 1992.

First Line: What did you ask, Andy Bisset?

Last Line: From the early recovery department, Nosey hears that Vincent Bragg who broke his arm playing football….

Adaptations

Forget Meryl Streep, cast Kathy Bates in everything please. After winning an Oscar for her performance in Misery, Bates was the clear choice for the role. She played it so well, Maine accent and all, I almost forgot about her horrific Baltimore accent on American Horror Story. The story is told using blue-grey fading into full color for flashbacks. It was an effective device, and a really well made movie for a book that seems difficult to adapt, given the nature of the writing style.

Jennifer Jason Leigh (so 90s!) and David Strathairn round out the supporting cast. Oh and young John C. Riley as the bumbling town constable. God love him.

800 pages of short stories in Nightmares and Dreamscapes awaits me. The fact I am living in a hotel for the foreseeable future should hopefully help me read more. Although I am looking at a television with cable (I am watching HGTV as we type) for the first time in 3 years, probably not.

#dolores claiborne #movie review #book review

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donsalvatore05-blog · 6 years ago

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The Ultimate Guide to Marilyn Monroe's Style

Some like it hot!

We've been breaking down our list of 16 classic fashion icons everyone should know. Last week, we covered Diana Ross, the reigning queen of Motown and 1960s trendsetter.

This week, it's all about cinema's brightest star, Marilyn Monroe.

View the original article to see embedded media.

Tomorrow, August 5, marks 56 years since we've lost the famous “blonde bombshell.” But with every passing year, her image grows more and more beloved.

Marilyn's blonde hair, red lips, and beauty mark have made lasting style impressions on us all, but in the 1950s, she was known for being the biggest sex symbol of the era.

Her life has been written about and re-imagined countless times, like in the Oscar nominated My Week with Marilyn, or the ill-fated but still adored (especially by yours truly) TV series Smash. But there are a lot of sides to Marilyn you probably don't know about. Keep reading to find out more about her early life, film career, tragic death, and lasting legacy.

All About Marilyn

Fade In On a Girl...

View the original article to see embedded media.

Marilyn Monroe was born Norma Jeane Mortenson in Los Angeles, California in 1926. Her father was absent, and her mother suffered from paranoid schizophrenia, spending much of her life in institutions.

Marilyn spent her childhood in and out of various foster homes and orphanages. (TW) During this time she was sexually abused.

When her last foster family wanted to move out of California, laws prohibited them from taking then Norma Jeane with them. Their solution was to have the 16 year old marry Jim Dougherty, the neighbors' son, so she wouldn't go to an orphanage.

Gentlemen Prefer Marilyn

View the original article to see embedded media.

Dougherty was a marine and had to leave Norma Jeane behind for a while. Around this time, she was working at a factory and was discovered by a photographer to shoot pin-up style photos for the troops. (Fun fact: Marilyn always supported the armed forces and would go on to interrupt her honeymoon to perform in Korea, where the troops adored her.)

By the late 1940s, Norma Jeane had dyed her brown hair lighter and began a modeling and film career. She landed a contract with 20-Century Fox and chose the stage name Marilyn Monroe.

I never wanted to be Marilyn--it just happened. Marilyn's like a veil I wear over Norma Jeane. - Marilyn Monroe

It only took a few years for Marilyn to become a world-wide sensation. But she was typecast and sexualized in films as a the “girl next door” or the “dumb blonde." She often felt limited. She was devoted to the craft and trained in acting, hoping to play different roles.

There's No Business Like Show Business

View the original article to see embedded media.

Marilyn had a bad reputation on movie sets. She suffered anxiety, stage fright, and low self-esteem (among rumored other issues relating to her childhood traumas).

To cope with this, she took dangerous combinations of drugs and alcohol. As a result, she often showed up late, forgot her lines, and could take hours to film a simple one-line scene.

But in the 1950s, people weren't understanding of her mental health issues, and the executives and men on set were cruel to Marilyn. She became co-dependent on her acting coach and friend Paula Strasberg, much to the dismay of her directors.

View the original article to see embedded media.

Many biographers question Strasberg's influence, as she wanted Monroe to be a method actor; and though she encouraged Marilyn to go to psychoanalysis, she wanted her to use her traumas for acting.

I've spent most of my life running away from myself. - Marilyn Monroe

As she rose to fame with films like Niagara and How To Marry A Millionaire, Marilyn's personal life became a hot topic in the press. She married Joe DiMaggio in a passionate but doomed relationship which lasted just nine months. (After Marilyn passed, Joe continued to send flowers to her grave every week for twenty years.)

"We are all of us stars, and we deserve to twinkle."

View the original article to see embedded media.

Tired of being underestimated, in 1955 Marilyn founded her own production company (the first woman to do so!) and partnered with Fox under a new contract that would let her pick her own movies, directors, and cinematographers.

She was a women's and civil rights activist, too. She notably helped Ella Fitzgerald get a break by demanding she play a famous venue and attending every show front row.

I don't want to make money. I just want to be wonderful. - Marilyn Monroe

Marilyn remarried to a playwright named Arthur Miller in 1956 and her career kept growing, but her personal health declined. Arguably her most famous and acclaimed film, Some Like It Hot, is also recognized for her famous bad behavior on set.

View the original article to see embedded media.

In 1961, Marilyn divorced again, and in 1962 began working on her final film Something's Got To Give. But by then, she was severely dependent on substances and struggling with depression and other physical health issues.

Fame will go by, and, so long, I've had you fame. If it goes by, I've always known it was fickle. So at least it's something I experienced, but that's not where I live. - Marilyn Monroe

Something's Got To Give had to pause production to allow Marilyn time to heal, but the movie was never finished. Marilyn Monroe died in 1962 of a drug overdose.

View the original article to see embedded media.

Today, she is still a symbol of style, beauty, and sex. But fans, critics, and biographers' attitudes have shifted towards her infamous behaviors. She's no longer seen as a wild party girl, and instead her personal traumas, mental instabilities, and dedication to her work despite it all are respected and championed.

Marilyn was a feminist and an artist. She demanded rights over her own career in a time when movie contracts exploited actors, and was a talented actress, who managed to sparkle and brighten up every second of screen time even in her darkest personal hours.

Fashion Inspired by Marilyn Monroe

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Marilyn's fashion is constantly imitated, usually with hot pink gloves or flowy white dresses, but I'll let you know now that we'll be taking a different approach. Yes, Marilyn was always in full-glam at press events, rocking the most stunning and expensive designer dresses you could imagine. But she worked closely with photographers to capture a different, more human side of herself.

Keeping it Casual

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Marilyn loved being photographed reading, as it was a major hobby of hers. And when not in costume or red-carpet attire, she sported a smart-casual style that was very trendy in the '50s.

View the original article to see embedded media.

Products: Top - Boohoo, Bag - The Gap, Shoes - DSW, Shorts - Urban Outfitters

A turtleneck with short sleeves is total casual Marilyn, as is pairing that with high-waisted shorts. For a little bit of fun, get patterned shorts like stripes or houndstooth, which Marilyn has been photographed in before. Her daytime looks blended cute and sophisticated pieces into an original aesthetic.

Cutting Edge Color

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Marilyn loved color and could pull off a floor-length bright red dress or matching turquoise suit like no one else ever had or has since! Her extravagant personal style was so eye-catching because of her choice of figure-flattering shapes and bold, playful colors. Fun fact: Marilyn loved costume jewelry pieces and didn't like owning expensive ones.

Products: Romper - Forever 21, Blazer - Forever 21, Shoes - Old Navy, Bag - New York & Company

A more accessible way to add Marilyn's fun colors into your wardrobe is to choose one bold stand-out piece (like a jacket or jumpsuit) and keep everything else simple. Both on-screen and off, Marilyn mixed business-y, formal elements like blazers or button down shirts with playful and flirty elements, like low-cut tops or leggy bottoms. Choose your accent color and accessorize around it using the Marilyn method!

Let Me Be Your Star

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Okay, I had to do something glamorous for our last look! Marilyn loved performing, and that included putting on a show for her fans when she was out in public and taking gorgeous photos for publications. Shiny, shimmery gowns were a go-to for her.

Products: Dress - Boohoo, Earrings - Belk, Shoes - DSW, Bag - Windsor, Lipstick - Ulta

A low-cut, body-con gown is a must for a Marilyn feel on a night out, as Ms. Monroe was always making headlines for her ultra-feminine looks. She enjoyed the attention and had fun playing with her sensuality in outfits, so strappy heels and red lipstick, two sensual staples, are also classic Marilyn elements.

Will you be channeling your inner Marilyn?

Marilyn was a fashionista, and even over 50 years after her passing, we still look to her for style guidance! Her beauty and fashion won't ever be forgotten, but we'll remember her perseverance, dedication, and talent forever, too.

View the original article to see embedded media.

Are you dyeing your hair platinum blonde? Will you be drawing on a beauty mark with some red lipstick? Let us know how you'll be dressing as Marilyn in the comments below! And for more information on Marilyn Monroe, check out these great sources:

Biography.com Marilyn Monroe: Fascinating Facts About the Real Woman Behind the Legend

Harper's Bazaar 20 Real Marilyn Monroe Quotes That Will Change What You Think of the Icon

How Stuff Works Entertainment Marilyn Monroe's Early Life

Mental Floss 14 Fascinating Facts About Marilyn Monroe

Vanity Fair Marilyn and Her Monsters

Wikipedia Marilyn Monroe

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xoxokadyn-blog · 6 years ago

Text

The Ultimate Guide to Marilyn Monroe's Style

Some like it hot!

We've been breaking down our list of 16 classic fashion icons everyone should know. Last week, we covered Diana Ross, the reigning queen of Motown and 1960s trendsetter.

This week, it's all about cinema's brightest star, Marilyn Monroe.

View the original article to see embedded media.

Tomorrow, August 5, marks 56 years since we've lost the famous “blonde bombshell.” But with every passing year, her image grows more and more beloved.

Marilyn's blonde hair, red lips, and beauty mark have made lasting style impressions on us all, but in the 1950s, she was known for being the biggest sex symbol of the era.

All About Marilyn

Fade In On a Girl...

View the original article to see embedded media.

Marilyn spent her childhood in and out of various foster homes and orphanages. (TW) During this time she was sexually abused.

Gentlemen Prefer Marilyn

View the original article to see embedded media.

By the late 1940s, Norma Jeane had dyed her brown hair lighter and began a modeling and film career. She landed a contract with 20-Century Fox and chose the stage name Marilyn Monroe.

I never wanted to be Marilyn--it just happened. Marilyn's like a veil I wear over Norma Jeane. - Marilyn Monroe

There's No Business Like Show Business

View the original article to see embedded media.

Marilyn had a bad reputation on movie sets. She suffered anxiety, stage fright, and low self-esteem (among rumored other issues relating to her childhood traumas).

To cope with this, she took dangerous combinations of drugs and alcohol. As a result, she often showed up late, forgot her lines, and could take hours to film a simple one-line scene.

View the original article to see embedded media.

Many biographers question Strasberg's influence, as she wanted Monroe to be a method actor; and though she encouraged Marilyn to go to psychoanalysis, she wanted her to use her traumas for acting.

I've spent most of my life running away from myself. - Marilyn Monroe

"We are all of us stars, and we deserve to twinkle."

View the original article to see embedded media.

She was a women's and civil rights activist, too. She notably helped Ella Fitzgerald get a break by demanding she play a famous venue and attending every show front row.

I don't want to make money. I just want to be wonderful. - Marilyn Monroe

View the original article to see embedded media.

Fame will go by, and, so long, I've had you fame. If it goes by, I've always known it was fickle. So at least it's something I experienced, but that's not where I live. - Marilyn Monroe

Something's Got To Give had to pause production to allow Marilyn time to heal, but the movie was never finished. Marilyn Monroe died in 1962 of a drug overdose.

View the original article to see embedded media.

Fashion Inspired by Marilyn Monroe

View the original article to see embedded media.

Keeping it Casual

View the original article to see embedded media.

Marilyn loved being photographed reading, as it was a major hobby of hers. And when not in costume or red-carpet attire, she sported a smart-casual style that was very trendy in the '50s.

View the original article to see embedded media.

Products: Top - Boohoo, Bag - The Gap, Shoes - DSW, Shorts - Urban Outfitters

Cutting Edge Color

View the original article to see embedded media.

Products: Romper - Forever 21, Blazer - Forever 21, Shoes - Old Navy, Bag - New York & Company

Let Me Be Your Star

View the original article to see embedded media.

Products: Dress - Boohoo, Earrings - Belk, Shoes - DSW, Bag - Windsor, Lipstick - Ulta

Will you be channeling your inner Marilyn?

View the original article to see embedded media.

Biography.com Marilyn Monroe: Fascinating Facts About the Real Woman Behind the Legend

Harper's Bazaar 20 Real Marilyn Monroe Quotes That Will Change What You Think of the Icon

How Stuff Works Entertainment Marilyn Monroe's Early Life

Mental Floss 14 Fascinating Facts About Marilyn Monroe

Vanity Fair Marilyn and Her Monsters

Wikipedia Marilyn Monroe

1 note · View note

kawaiifunhologram-blog · 6 years ago

Text

Tip cheap car insurance kansas city ks

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Seventeen in a couple of months, and naturally want a car. I know I am going to have to get something small and low-powered, because I am a male and live in a part of England usually on fire. I also know what the insurance criteria are (Age, Where you live, where the car is parked, what you use it for, how often you use it etc..) I don't particularly want to be done for fraud, so no fronting please. Just wondering if there is any way to lower the cost of insurance? Don't mind driving a van, car etc. etc. (Not a motorbike..) Probably pis.sing in the wind trying to get a loophole, but I don't want to fork out 3k to insure a Citroen AX/2CV6. Any help/advice greatly appreciated.. :)""

I have an old pickup truck but can't find a price to get an insurance quote.?

I'm working on a 1972 International model 1100 Eight pickup truck and can't seem to find a price for it in todays market. I've looked on every automotive web-site I can think of, but they have every make except International. I'm trying to get an insurance quote over the internet and I really need this. I paid $400 for the truck itself and about the same for new parts. The guy who owned this truck before me said it was originally a one ton pickup, but the bed was switched out with a three ton. I know I have to add the price of the new parts, but all I want is an approximate base price. I'll take any advice, web-site, or anything else relevant to my needs.""

How can I get a California Health & Life Insurance License ?

I would like to find an online course or a study at home course if possible. Also, how long does the course take ? Thank you for your help""

Small business insurance?

This is for hw, any info would be helpful I'm opening a salon in hollywood california. (5,000 square feet) How much would I pay in insurance a year? what kind of insurance would i need? Example: i think i would need product liability insurance, professional liability insurance, there are so many different kinds! Which one/ones should I use? and how much would it be? I've been googling and researching for a long time if you can help thank you!!""

Where can I get affordable liability insurance for small moving company?

I am looking to start a moving business and I need to find reliable and affordable liability insurance.

Rough cost of insurance group 17 cars?

Hi all, I'm looking at a Lotus Elise for my next car. Its insurance group 17 and I'm 25 with nearly two years no claims. Anyone know roughly what the insurance would be? Thanks xx""

Modified Car Insurance ??

hiya i have just bought a modified fiat punto - the only modifications it has on it is a body kit - do you no of and cheap car insurance companys in the uk that will insure me thanxs xx

Where can i find cheap renters insurance in nj?

Can you purchase auto insurance over the phone or online??

can you purchase auto insurance over the phone or online??

""If insurance companies are so evil, why buy insurance?

If insurance companies are so evil and make obscene profits; why not take your money and put it into the bank until you need it for health care?

What should i do about car insurance?

Basically in 2009 i got caught speeding without insurance. Biggest Mistake of my life. Lost my licence and had to start from provisional again. Now i have passed my test and it is a few years on i dont know what to do about getting insurance. I refuse to drive without it now. The thing i need to know is do i tell my insurance company about the claims that were less than 5 years ago or don't i? the reason is because my licence was taken away without a ban put back to provisional and now re-started fresh so do i still have to put them or not? Also if i do what would happen if i don't? Just out of curiosity as it would be a lot cheaper but if i have to i will obviously. Thanks

Why doesn't car insurance go down every year since I owe less money to the dealer?

Every year my car insurance goes up and I am just 10 months away from paying off my car, I have never had an accident or a claim and been driving for 10 years. I have been with many car insurance companies but they do the same scam after few months.The insurance representatives don't even know why it went up, they just say theirs went too. WHY ISN'T THE GOVERNMENT BEHIND THIS SWINDLERS? It's been going up for the four year, haven't had a relief despite I just owe 4k.""

Car Insurance for 16 Year old Boy in CA?

I am looking to buy a car, I had a list of all these cars... but then when I had a quote put on them... I was shocked. I was looking at BMW 325i, Jeep Cherokee, and Mitshubishi Montero... each costing around 2500 for full coverage. What car brand or type would have a relatively low insurance cost for my age and gender group?""

What car insurance is best/cheapest?

I am going to be getting a used car from my uncle and would like to know your opinion on what car insurance to get. My parents wont put me on their plan(this is my first car btw) so I have to get my own. I need a cheaper plan considering I only work during the summer as of now(thinking of getting a job on my college campus next semester). Any help would be good(your experience etc) I tried going onto the General insurance website(commercials say their cheap) for a quote but they keep on sending me to a Geico website, has anyone else had this problem? Thanks in advance for answering.(BTW I am a girl, I know that we get cheeper insurance typically for some reason lol and I also went through drivers ed in the past and I know most companies will give me a discount for that)""

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Infinity insurance reviews?

Me and my husband are looking to change insurance companies for our cars. We currently use Geico, but it just got really expensive. We got a quote from a broker of a company called Infinity but I've never heard from them, I was wondering if anyone has had any experience with this company or could give me some reviews about it! Thanks a lot!!""

What is a good low cost Automobile Insurance Company?

No Geico (they are very high)!

Car insurance help please!?

I'm 18 and i just finished high school. I dont have a job yet, but i'll be getting one sometime very soon and i really really need to find car insurance. im mostly looking for something that i can pay quarterly. something somewhat cheap too. errr. please help. i only have one car and its a 99 mazda protege.""

What do all these terms for insurance mean?

So I'm in need for a dental plan because I've decided to fix my horrible misaligned bite. But I have no idea what all these insurance terms mean. Like deductibles, coinsurance,waiting period, etc http://www.ehealthinsurance.com/ehi/dt/plan-details?planKey=10116300:16 ^Here is a link for example. 40% Coinsurance after deductible 18 months waiting period < Can someone just give me a coverage on how insurance works. Thank you""

How much does it cost to insure an RV?

i have to do a project for drivers ed.. and i need to figure out how much it cost to insure an rv and i guess the insurance company would be aarp.

Why is Travelers increasing my insurance rates?

I bought my house 3 years and insured the house with Travelers homeowners insurance. The rate started at $843.00 per year and the insured value of the house was $183,000. The rate ...show more""

Should I put a claim in with my auto insurance?

Today at a light a car rear ended me. My rear bumper has some small scratches and some paint marks from the other car. No dents or anything else. the car that hit me seemed to have worse damage to his front bumper. We called the police and they did a report. The other guy said he is not going to put in a claim with his insurance. He admitted fault and apologized over and over. I was wondering if it is worth me putting in a claim with my insurance? I don't want my rates to go up and even though I am not at fault, i wonder how aggressively my insurance will pursue a claim with the other guy's insurance since damage is so minor. I actually wonder if it was worth calling the police, when I really think about it. I was just shaken up at the time. I think re painting the bumper would actually be less than my deductible. I don't really have any pain and no noticeable injuries. I had a friend say I should put in a claim for minor back pain, but even if i was in minor pain, i have heard the 10,000 most companies give always go to lawyers and chiropractors I don't want to lie and don't want to spend time going to chiropractors too end up not getting anything and still having to pay to repaint bumper, have my rates go up and be aggravated. any advice?""

Will my Progressive Ins. rate go up with speed camera tickets?

I have progressive car insurance in MD and have received a lot of speeding camera tickets in the last few months (due to my driving and my brother driving my car). Does anyone know if Progressive insurance will keep track of these camera speeding tickets that will cause my car insurance rate to go up?

Car insurance for 16 year olds...?

How much difference would the insurance be for a 16year old if the car make was either a comaro with a v6 or something else with a v6, like a nissan or mazda. Does the make of the car make a difference? I have good student and a bunch of other thngs that make discounts but was wondering if there is a big difference between just the make of the car. Im looking at buying the 2010 comaro if the insurance doesnt change tht much...... any info is great! :) thanks!""

What's worse for a teens insurance a luxury car or sports car?

I've been wanting to get a civic for a first car so I thought maybe a 2000 civic si and then realized I liked the 7th gen civic coupes alot more so when I went to get an insurance quote every company is telling me its about $400 a month even on my dads insurance. Because I'm a second driver in the house I become the primary driver on the civic by default and I don't have a choice. The insurance company says that the si is a sports car for them and apparently has a high chance for teens to get wrecked in. The 7th gen that I'm talking about was an 02 civic si veloz and I was told a non si 03 civic coupe would still be in the late 300's /month for me. I'd be okay with 200's/month if possible. So now I'm thinking of going to Hondas luxury side. I did want a fully loaded civic which I guess isn't possible because they didnt come with leather seats so I thought I'd go team Acura late 90's/2000 1.6 el the car would be a fully loaded sedan, manual transmission, sohc engine (not exactly built for speed) it would also have an alarm system that the civic didn't. I don't think there are as many teen ricers in acuras since the aftermarket is limited for some things as not everything is swappable with civic parts. so for a new driver would it be any difference to go from a 2 door si to a 4 dour sedan with a base motor? the only thing is that the insurance would probably classify it as a luxury vehicle and say its expensive to repair and what not. your thoughts?""

What's the average car insurance cost in Ireland?

Hi everyone, I'm planning to move from Canada to Ireland next year and I was wondering what would be an average cost for a basic car insurance? I have had a valid Canadian G2 license for about 3 years, as well as a Romanian (EU) full license for 8 years. I'm 26. The car would be a small car, and the region either Dublin or Cork. I'm not looking for an exact quote, I'd just like to know what you are paying for your car and your experience, so to get an idea of what to expect. Thanks.""

Long Term Care Insurance?

Please give me the pros and cons of obtaining long term care insurance. What is the criteria, and who should buy long term care insurance? Conversely, who should not, or who does not need such a policy? What does it cover and what are the variable costs. Also, does it help prevent you from going into a nursing home should that be indicated? Thank you!""

Change car on insurance?

I had a crash what I am to blame. I've had to go scrap my car, need to put a new car on my insurance I know there will be a fee to change it over but will they now charge even extra now I've had a crash?""

Does an 800cc motorcycle's insurance cost much more than a 600cc?

I found a bike I was thinking about buying to learn on today. I like the bike and can't beat the price. I read on yahoo answers soeone said 750cc bikes are actually 749 b/c insurance goes up significantly after that. Is that true? I'm not getting the bike because I want a bigger bike, Id be perfectly happy with a 600 but its a good deal for this bike I found. Will i save alot on insurance and just wait to find a 600cc?""

Do i need motorcycle insurance to get my tags?

I have my first motorcycle, a green 2002 kawasaki ninja 250, green of course. I am working on getting insurance but its going to take about 5 more days. Can i get my tags without insurance?""

Car Insurance(state farm) hit & run accused of hitting a object?

i was driving on the freeway tunnel(day time) when i noticed the guy driving on my left-side merging into my lane and struck my right fender,so when i get to the end of the tunnel to wait for him the guy simply drives off.I then call my ins and claim a hit & run etc. i gave them the details they say they'll fix it.3 months later i come to find out that they are claiming it's my fault that i hit a object or a guard rail or wall how can i go about this and fight it.the rep that help wasn't any helpful at all she said she re email a letter stated it was my fault and how to fight it. any help will b appreciated !!! i also i asked the lady if i can show pics of a cars that have been into collision with object i even told her it would be pics of my car(not actually my car) but u know what i mean she said they only go off what they see""

How much is car insurance for a 17 year old girl?

I'm trying to find out how much insurance will be when I buy my car, but websites like go compare wont let you check until your 17 :) No idea what you need to find out so heres some details :) Vauxhall Corsa Specification 1.0 12V GLS Transmission Manual Engine Size: 973 cc Fuel Type: Petrol Thank you :) x""

First time buying car insurance?

I'm looking to go on my own Car insurance plan, Unfortunately I have no idea what a decent plan should cover. So what're the basic's that I should add to my plan?""

Good car insurance for a teen?

in the summer im going to get my first job (yay!) and my parents are in a bit of a financial rut so with my paycheck im gonna pay my insurance so i was wondering...which insurance would be the cheapest or have the most deductibles im going to be 18 in october, never got a ticket, never got in a wreck and i have had my license for two years any helpful answers are appreciated :) also if you need any more info let me know!:) ..oh and btw its a 1999 hyandai elantra that i drive""

Why are teenagers car insurance rates so high?

I just heard they just went up on our car insurance because we are teens that's not fair at all. I'm struggling trying to make it meaning going to college and work. Because I can not depend on my mom to take me everywhere I need to go. This economy is all ready down the drain that's not fair I have no money and I am trying to make it.

What's the cheapest car to insure for a 17 year old?

I've just turned 16 and I am starting to save up for a car/insurance, I'm just wondering whats the cheapest car to buy and insure for a 17 year old. I know it varies where you live ect ect, but I'm just wondering generally. Also would a robin reliant be cheap to insure?""

Added my newborn to my insurance after 30 days?

help ! after i had my new baby things wre so hectic for me. he had jaundice and in and out of doctors.. my toddler had dental promblems . i had post partum issues myself and by the time i called to add baby to insurance it was abt 12 days after the 30 day period . my insurance is united healthcare thru my previous employer that im currently on cobra with.. they denied adding my newborn and said they wll send me a letter so i can appeal but im afraid that wont help . any advice on what i can do .. i cant imagine nt hvng insurance for my baby..especially we just got home from the hospital yestrday bcz he has broncholitus .. so i wl be billed for that . i know i called to add him late but hopeflly there gtta be something i can do. i means its for a child i live california .. any advice on how to handle this

I need help finding the right health insurance?

I am 21 years old female I'm married no kids. I am having problems with my knees I can not walk without pain or swelling involved on virus knees, because of this pain I have not ...show more""

Can you register and buy a (cheap) car with no license or insurance?

I want to know if i can register a very cheap car thats around 2,000 tops at a used car lot and buy it with no problems.What problems will i face isnt it easyier to get a cheap car like this then at a actual new dealer i have no license or insurance do i pick a dealer with in house financing the only thing they will most likely ask for is it to get registered can i do that im paying half down.?im 21 im getting my license in 2 weeks (and no i cant wait)""

How to get a cheaper car insurance in new jersey?

i leased a car a year ago and allstate just add 500 dollars on my premium and actually my car insurance is way more expensive than my car note. although i have 2 points on my drivers licence but it has been almost two years now and since i havent had no moving violation. Am planning to take a online defensive driver class to remove them. Please let me know what should i do to lower my premium or where to go cause its killing my finance. i am living in new jersey.

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Which Insurance company is better to take Mediclaim cover?

Which Insurance company is good to take health policy in India? India there are 24 non life insurance companies are there. Which one is better response at the time of claim. Give some suggestion to take medi claim insurance cover...

""Insurance, What is Short Term insurance?""

What is a short term insurance? and if its what iam guessing it is like an insurance for a month,m can i renew it every month? I've seen this insurance company called Callingwood, and it says short term insurance which means that i pay 140 for a month worth of insurance, can i keep on renewing it every month? or is short term insurance not like?""

Where can i find a basic car insurance quote?

i dont want to enter all of my personal information. it doesnt need to be exactly i just want like a basic calculator. i dont mind like the accident info or my car info but not my SS# and address. i just want a estimate. or is there somehow i can do it my self.

Insurance for infant in a home daycare?

I'm sending my 1 year old son to a unlicensed home daycare. The daycare provider does not have insurance. What kind of insurance should I get for my son?

Insurance for scooter?

I am thinking of getting a 125cc scooter to save gas this summer. Do I need insurance for the scooter? Then it would defeat the purpose for me

What is the cheapest health insurance I could get?

I live in Nebraska, and am a healthy 20 something year old male who does not smoke or drink. I looked on google and found quotes for like 200 bucks a month! maybe that's cheap for a lot of people, but I was wondering if you can get something for like 50 dollars a month, with a really high deductable or something. I just want coverage against major catastrophies, like if I got cancer, or heart disease or something, so I'm not financially ruined. Any ideas? a year or so ago I remember coming across some cheap plans for like 30 dollars a month, but I can't seem to find anything like that anymore. Any help here would be greatly appreciated thanks!""

""How does this work, car insurance?""

I'm thinking of getting a new car soon and have checked out how much insurance it will cost with my current insurer.If i sell my current car before my insurance runs out, will i get a refund on what is left or will i just pay the excess on whatever is left for the new one? There is 70.35 difference a year for the new car compared to what i'm paying just now for my current car.I've never done this before, so i dont know what i'm doing really.""

How can I get a car insurance quote if I'm under 18?

I don't have my license yet but a large part of what decides what car I can get depends on what the car insurance would cost. Since I am under 18 not of the car insurance websites will give me a quote and if i lie about my age it will change the cost. Any ideas?

Car Insurance For 17 Year Olds In The UK ?

Im taking my test in a month but would just like to know what are some of the cheapest cars to insure as i dont have the bank of mum and dad to help me out so i have my weekend job which i get about 100 from roughly ive heard some people getting insurance for 1200 which is fairly cheap also what are the cheapest insurance companies ???

Sports car insurance for a 17 year old with a provisional license?

Someone who will not cost the earth, up to group 14, uk.""

Car insurance write off?

Ok so wanting a slightly clearer answer for how exactly car insurance write offs work? I have a 92 Toyota lexcen market value on my policy is up to 2125, I have a damaged bonnet, bumper and headlight also my horn sounds really wrong now! Not sure if there's other damage, I was not at fault in the accident. Basically wondering how they decide whether to write it off or not and how much I could maybe expect to get back? Car was in decent condition low ks, although it's not the first accident it's been in""

Car Insurance for a 40 year old..eek?

I have just passed my test but I am going on 40 (I know, im a bit late). However the insurance is about 1800 per year. Although I have just passed I thought I would be a bit cheaper than a 18 year old. Am i looking in the wrong place? At this rate I will never be on the road.""

A question about car insurance?

This chick hit my car but I have a feeling I'm going to be found guilty due to a faulty witness. I'm on my boyfriends insurance will it raise his rate? Also can he just remove me and put the car in his name? I'm so upset because this whole situation is the other drivers fault!!

Is my son even covered under our car insurance?

My 21 year old son not only is no longer in college he also got married 3 months ago. I have not canceled him from our multi-car policy, I guess just so he will have car insurance (liability, required in our state), but I know he was supposed to be removed when he got married, as he is no longer in our household. I also would like to remove him so I can benefit from a lower premium. He keeps saying he can't afford it, so I keep paying the bill each month, that includes his car on it. I guess I am asking if he got into an accident would the insurance even be good, as he isn't even living in our house and he's married. I may have wasted my money these last 3 months anyway, but don't want him to get caught with what appears to be uninsured, without a valid insurance card in the glove box.""

Why is my car insurance so high?

I have full coverage insurance on my 2005 Honda civic and I am paying a little over $850 every six months. Every quote I get isn't much better. Why is it so expensive? My insurance lady says that it's because I am a young driver with a newer car. But my YOUNGER sister has a car 2 years newer than mine and she pays about $350 less every six months. I have no tickets on my record. I did have my license suspended about 5 years ago. Why is it so expensive and how can I get it down? I can't afford this sh* t. Thank you!

Which company in New Jersey has the lowest Car Insurance?

Do you have to get health insurance under obamacare?

I'm 19 I have no job no money.. would I have to get health insurance ?

""Cheap car insurance, I'm 21 had my license 2months?""

Hi I'm in the uk, I'm male, 21, had my license 2months and I need cheap car insurance please.""

Will a car thats registered as non op and has a salvaged title cost more for insurance?

Can insurance change term suddenly without tell me?

Can health insurance stop cover my medicine suddenly? I have used this medicine for 6 months and now I refill it,( I have 12 months refill) my phymesist told me that the health insurance changed code and stoped cover it. Can insurance do that suddenly? What can i do to fight with them? thanks.""

Car insurance question?

if you let someone else drive your car , and they get in an accident , what happens? does their insurance still cover them? are you covered to fix your car? i have my friend (who has had his license way longer than i have , and who i feel is a better driver than me anyways) drive my car sometimes when we go out together is this a bad idea, and why?""

""Motorcycle trip in california, suggestions?""

hello fellow rider, I was going to do a trip to mainland mexico (im in cabo, baja), but mainland is kind of dangerous right now, so plan b is california, so I ran into this web site and was thinking of copying one of their tours, could you tell me which one is the best to do, or if you have any suggestions, please let me know, I appreciate your help. ramon bmw r1150gs adv http://www.best-motorcycle-gear.com/guided-motorcycle-tours.html By the way, besides: motorcycle drivers license, registration, visa, insurance, what other thing do I need to drive there?""

How much would you think a 2009 mustang gt insurance would cost monthly?

For an 22 year old male??

Cheap used cars and cheap insurance?

i need a cheap used small car anyone have any ideas where it would be reliable to get one..? not auto trader because i cant exactly trust a randomer selling a car which is probly going to break down 2 days later.... any ideas of something or places plz

""If you move to a higher-cost car insurance state, when does the increase take effect?""

If I move to a new state that has higher car theft and higher minimums, which I imagine would definitely increase my premium, would I have to pay as soon as I told the company of the address change? Or, would the increase only be seen on my next bill (a few months later)? This is for moving from Arizona to Washington, if it matters. Thanks!""

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