#i’ve been feeling a lot of pressure not from yall but like i want to be good

[gingerjolover]

warning u rn when u drop young!gf fic i Will scream a scream so loud and so intense people will assume a historical event occurred

idk where u are babe but i’ll hear it and match your frequency

i’m gonna post hc for young!gf before the fic only bc i have technically two (mini) fics written but it’s established relationship and i wanna give some context

same with photographer!reader

[shego1142]

Okay so… I don’t really want to make this post, mostly because I feel like I’m always the one wearing tin foil hats on tumblr

But listen… I understand being upset and sad and afraid right now

But yall some of these posts are going beyond doomerism

Some of these posts

A lot of these posts, actually

Look quite a bit like demoralisation

So many of these posts I’ve seen look very much like purposeful targeted demoralisation

And I do hope everyone can understand very quickly how bad demoralising people right now is.

I do hope everyone can very quickly understand just how much people in power stand to gain from demoralising us.

I mean, you know, not that I’m saying that there’s a psyop taking place on the website that has routinely had multiple proven right wing/conservative/white supremacist psyops take place or anything

You know, that would be bonkers.

But all of these blogs out here saying that everything is hopeless and nothing will ever get better and we are all doomed and we should just tear each other apart and play the blame game?

That’s a little fishy.

Especially given that now more than ever is a time to stand with one another and hold on to hope and start organising together.

All of these blogs just blind faith accepting the election results as they are and not even considering any bad acting is at play? Just rolling over without any hint of a fight and implying that everyone else has to as well?

That’s a little fishy.

Especially given that:

The election results are not certified until December 25th and the House and Senate do have the power to object to the electoral college votes (especially if enough pressure is put on them to do so)

Especially given that it took a long time before we were sure who won in the last presidential race and it looked like Trump had won that first week back then too

Especially given that Kamala Harris’ Concession speech is not legally binding, and if it is found out between now and December 25th that she has won, then that will still be considered a legal win.

Especially given that many states, including battleground states, are already doing a recount and many more states are presumed to follow (So far Pennsylvania, Wisconsin, Nevada are recounting the ballots and Arizona and Texas are considering)

Especially given that there has already been proven minimal forms of tampering with the election process including multiple burnt absentee ballot boxes, bomb threats at polling places, as well as just plain human error whether malicious or benign.

So… you know… anyone posting on here saying that hope is dead and that we should all hate each other and everyone should just fuck off and stop caring about everything and stop supporting each other?

That seems a little bit fishy, doesn’t it?

That seems a little bit fucking sus, doesn’t it?!

Especially given that, even after all is said and done, even if he 100% did win and there’s no doubt that it’s legitimate

He’s still being sued for multiple charges and violations of conduct, he could still end up in jail

Especially since even if he doesn’t, even if he is sitting as acting president one January:

We have 2 and 1/2 months to mobilise

2 and 1/2 months to organise

Sure would be convenient for Trump and the 1% and the right wing pundits to make everyone feel like everything is hopeless and tragic and to pit leftist against democrats and what not

Sure would be useful to them if we were all just sad and hateful to each other these next coming months

Like I’ve seen many posts tying to do.

You can feel your feelings but if you start advocating for us to attack one another, for women to fight and hate leftist men who voted for Kamala, for black people to fight and hate other people of color, for leftists to hate democrats for not “going far enough” and for democrats to hate leftists for “going too far”

And all this bullshit in-fighting

I’m just going to assume you’re a bad actor and block you

This isn’t the time for the blame game, there’s no fucking one to blame other than Trump and most likely Elon Musk’s money.

Now isn’t the time to give a shit about why the election results are what they are.

Now is a time to stand together, united, to make our communities better, safer, sanctuaries.

Now is the time to talk to one another, to not strive for perfection but for safety.

Call your representatives

Get your passport

Print out as many copies of books (especially banned ones) as possible and fill your local little libraries with them, fill it with zines about community building too,

Check out these links:

Talk to the queers and the people of colour and the disabled people in your community

Book a meeting room in your local library

Talk to your librarians, talk to your teachers and health care workers

Talk to your local conservationists.

Don’t just talk to leftist spaces either, remember:

There is Power in Making Friends, Not Winning Battles - reach out to your community and find out what the real issues are, it’s very rarely actually just hate, it’s usually fear and poverty.

Do nice things for your community in the name of Queerness - in some places you can adopt a road and make it beautiful, so this with a group of queer friends and get a plaque that says “This Road Was Adopted by The Queer Community”

Get together with your minority friends and figure out how to open a soup kitchen (easiest than you think and registering as a non profit is actually a great way to stay safe for many reasons)

Have your community see you as a part of it, not a threat to it.

Speak at schools

Fundraiser for the library

If you’re included to do so, you could partner with different religious groups as well, especially since there are in fact religious groups that are inclusive and welcoming and supportive.

Make your community know that the “threat” of the “lgbtqia” is non-existent

Don’t make yourself less queer, less a person of colour, less disabled, etc, don’t fade into the background

Become a shining beacon of positivity and goodness that everyone in your community can see as an asset to the community.

Give back more than you e ever gotten.

I know how difficult that can be but trust me, it will be worth it. Work with the leaders in your community to lobby for more rights just in your town and then you can lobby for more rights in your state.

Just like how many states have now said that if Trump tries to do mass deportations they will stop him, work to create that solidarity within your own communities.

Do not sit quietly in fear doing and saying nothing but hopeless things for the next two months.

Do not let anyone convince you that it’s over.

Do not become another statistic.

[sharp-silver4795]

do you do fanfics? if you do can I have a bloody painter x reader fanfic, possible nsfw?

Heheheh~ ofc!

And- just a question- what is it with yall being so thirsty for Helen lately?? Like- what?!? HERE is my NSFW HC’s for him and HERE is my romantic HC’s for him. Idk if I’ve done general HC’s….

Warnings/Info: Gender Neutral Reader, 2nd POV, leans towards different sexes at various points, Helen is shit in bed and tries to back out a few times.

Uhhh idfk: oral (Reader), handjob (Helen), a lot of uncertainty, dub-con??

THIS HAS NOT BEEN PROOFREAD AT ALL! I’m too scared of my own cringe for that

He’s tried to hide it for so long. He doesn’t wanna fuck up! You’re his world. He doesn’t want to lose you. He can’t lose you. He can’t let you leave him.

So, when you look at him with tinted cheeks, asking- begging- for him to love you, he freezes.

You’re sitting here, straddling his thighs, while his face inches from his own. You can feel something warm and hard against your inner thigh. He wants this, but he doesn’t know. He’s still hesitant.

Impatiently, you roll your hips against him, desperate for friction. You both gasp- Yeah. Yeah, he wants this. You do it again but faster and with more pressure. He grabs your hips, eyes so wide they look like they’re shaking.

“Hey! Hey. What are- what’s happening?”

“I want you to fucking fuck me.”

“I- I can’t. I- I- don’t- I can’t- I do-”

You mash your lips together to silence his anxious stammering. “It’s alright, love.”

“It is?”

“Yes.” There’s a long, oddly comfortable, silence. “You haven’t done this before. Have you?” He slowly shakes his head. You plant a kiss to his forehead, “then relaax, babes. I got you. I’ll take good care of you.” His breath gets caught when you reach for his jeans, keeping eye contact, searching for any form of uncertainty. You find none. Only confusion.

Slowly, so painfully slowly, you undo his belt. You’re teasing him. He doesn’t know how to act, and you take full advantage of the situation.

He’s squirming so deliciously by the time you get his jeans down. He’s left in his briefs and his shirt- it’s stained with old paint but, somehow, it makes him all the more appealing. It’s fitting. “Your turn” his voice just above a whisper.

You hum playfully, “what? If you want something, you have to use your words… or… you can just do it. If you really want it.”

He sits up slightly, pulling at your pants. You help him to get out of them, before his eyes go wide. ‘They’re so small’. His eyes can’t look away from your clothed sex, despite being able to see a lot, but just not enough.

He leans in a bit, until you’re sitting back with his head straight above your pelvis. “Holy shit…”

“What’s wrong, babes? Cat got your tongue?”

He quickly shakes his head, “Nope. Not at all.”

“Then why don’t you use it.” His face instantly turns red. He squirms a bit, and starts to grab your clothing…. But stops.

He looks horrified. “FUCK! No. I can’t do it. I’m- i am so sorry. I can’t do it.” He’s about to start crying. You sit upright once again and pull his head up to make eye contact. “What’s wrong, love? I thought we were having a good time?”

We were! I was. I just- I’m scared.

Why scared?

I don’t want to disappoint you.

“Well, you might.” His face flashes like he’s just seen a biblically accurate angel

“BUT! If you do, I’ll still love you all the same.” He breathes a sigh of relief, though still visibly uncertain.

“Even then, if you wanna do the deed still, we can talk about it. I know, wild concept, right?” He chuckles a bit- just what you were going for.

“We can talk about what gets you going, what gets me going, preferences, what we did good, what we can improve on, all that good shit.”

He’s looking a bit more steady, so you make sure he’s looking at you when you tug his hand towards you again. He tugs them down for you and sees that his nervousness hasn’t deterred you at all. If anything, it looks like you’re more turned on than earlier.

You chuckle a bit at his nervousness- it’s just so cute- when he lowers his head down. He grabs your thighs and pulls you closer and slides his tongue up and back down. “Fuuuuuccck” you gasp- maybe drawing it out a bit, but it’s worth it if it gives him some confidence.

It works, he smiles to himself and delves deeper, trying his hardest to please you.

Yeah. It’s not great. But he’s trying. He’s trying to make you feel good. You almost feel bad for him. You rest your hand on the back of his neck and grind a bit into his face.

His little whimper is priceless. So you keep going, pleasuring yourself with his mouth. His little wines make you grasp at his head with both hands now- your own moans escaping from your lips.

You let out a groan “fuck- babes- I’m gonna cum, alright?- mhmm- Is that ok?” You catch his gaze from his position between your legs and he nods- well, as much as he can. With a long moan, you cum.

He tries his best to handle it, to catch it, at least, but fails. When you release him, you can see your own liquid lust dribbling down his chin. You pull him into a heated kiss where you can taste yourself on his lips and tongue. “Good job, love. You did great.”

You look down and see the obvious boner poking through his briefs- that has got to be painful.

You reach down before his hand stops you, “that’s really not necessary. I’ll be ok. I can just fap off later.”

He’s being shy again. You raise an eyebrow and push through anyway, fondling him beneath his clothes. A sharp keen rips through him, and his head clunks against your shoulder.

You jerk him hard, but at a medium pace. You have no clue how much he jerks off and don’t wanna overwhelm him by doing too much.

When he jerks his hips, you speed up and apply less pressure, but with longer strokes. He’s gasping and panting with small moans and whines laced in between. It’s overwhelming, it’s too good. He’s always been too scared to touch himself, too worried about what he’s supposed to do. He won’t have to anymore. You’re perfect.

When his hips jerk once more, thrusting into your palm, he cums without warning. You let him ride it out, despite your aching wrist from him (unknowingly) humping your hand.

All tired out, resting against your chest, your beautiful man. You pull him into another, more gentle, kiss. “I love you, babes.”

“Mmmhh, yeah.” He perks up to a sit “I mean- I love you too.” With rolling eyes, you pull him back down to your chest, “just shut the hell up and sleep, you fucked up ball of anxiety.” He giggles once more, “yeah. Well I’m your fucked up ball of anxiety.”

“I probably should have said anxiety and trauma, but you know.”

“Hushh. Who gives a shit about technicalities.”

“Not I!” You both laugh for a bit. You didn’t get fucked like you wanted, he’s way too uptight about this, but it’s a start. He did ok, but he tried his best, and that makes it great.

Divider Creds: Sister-Lucifer

FOR FUTURE REFERENCE! If I’m gonna do a fic I need a bit more info.

A: is this gonna be a big storyline style or kinda like a blurb/one shot?

B: is there anything specific you want?

[nolita-fairytale]

still into you | carmen 'carmy' berzatto x fem!reader | chapter one: thursday

summary: you, syd, marcus, and carmy return to where it all began: new york city, prompting you and carmy to think a lot about your past... and your future together. (four part series | follow-up to 'make my heart surrender)

warnings: lots of swearing, tooth-rotting fluff, use of she/her pronouns, the lightest of smut, no use of y/n, second person pov

word count: 5k

listen to: 91 - bleachers | now i'm in it - haim | bewitched, bothered, and bewildered - ella fitzgerald (playlist here)

a/n: re: the poll -- yall really said 'let this man be happy please!' and i love that for us. if you voted for the other fic, i want to reassure you that i will be writing that one right after this! please enjoy all of the fluff and joy of this four chapter fic. i also feel like i potentially robbed us of a smut scene so... anyone interested in a bonus smut scene as a companion to this chapter?

Thursday 

“Alright, guys. We only have a few hours to get our day one prep done. I’ve outlined a schedule for today so that we’re as efficient as possible. Tomorrow’s gotta go smooth, alright?” Carmy instructs, laying out the day. 

You listen intently, marveling at your boyfriend in-action. He’s so fearless when he’s in his element, and being back in New York just seems to bring back all the memories of how you met. It’s like you’re twenty seven again, huddling up for a pre-shift meeting, led by recently-promoted wunderkind CDC, Carmen Berzatto. 

Only, you’re not twenty seven anymore and Carmy is the love of your life. 

“I’m gonna start with the mise for our beef dish, so Syd, can you get working on our signature veal stock? I think we should work with one in the pressure cooker just in case we get short on time and have a back up,” Carmy directs, an intense determination filling his eyes. 

He looks from Sydney to Marcus, before continuing his orders. 

“Marcus, I need you to start on the ice cream today, chef. I ordered us some liquid nitrogen if we need to make more on the fly, but I’d really prefer not to.”

And then it’s your turn, and boy, do you love to watch him work. You have to fight the corners of your lips from curling into a broad grin because you know now is not the time. 

“And lastly, I’m gonna have you work on the pasta. My goal is for us to get all of the agnolotti assembled today, so I’ll jump in when I wrap up with my mise to help you with that, yeah?”

“Heard,” the three of you answer in unison. 

Everyone’s got their game faces on because this is a big deal. 

The biggest, actually. 

Representing The Bear at the James Beard House is more than a big deal – it’s an honor. Only a handful of chefs get invited to cook here per year, and after a little fancy footwork in terms of scheduling, the four of you were finally able to agree on a date with the famous organization. You’re more than elated to be a part of the team, even if you aren’t working at The Bear anymore. 

The four of you quickly busy yourselves with setting up your stations. You only have a few hours to accomplish a whole lot of prep, and the pressure sits heavily on each of your shoulders. Tickets to the dinner had sold out within the first hour, which, after all the press, accolades, and media attention the restaurant had earned over the last few years, hadn’t been a huge surprise.

“Think you can keep up, chef? Don’t tell me you’re gettin’ rusty on me,” Marcus quips, already starting the playful trash talking early.

You let out a laugh, before challenging him in jest.

“Damn, Marcus. Hasn’t been that long. Bet I can still kick your ass on a ‘beat the clock’ mise, chef.”

“Oooooh. Shots fired,” Sydney calls out, joining in on your friendly banter.

“Challenge accepted,” Marcus shoots back, almost instantly. 

And then you’re scrambling to get as many prep containers and a kitchen scale, as you race your friend and mentee, all in good fun. 

You’ve missed this. 

It’s only been a few months since you started your new job – a culinary education director at a startup intent on building more sustainable food systems. While your heart would always be at the restaurant, you’d been ready to take on new challenges. The salary pay and benefits didn’t hurt either. You were happy taking a grown-up job, craving a little more stability and normalcy – and so that you and Carmy could stop paying out the ass for health insurance. Besides, you were still working with food. It just looked… well, a lotta different these days. 

You’ve missed the fast pace of the kitchen, your people, and Carmy’s desire for excellence, but it’s not like those things have left your life either. You still have them. 

After you’d left the restaurant, Marcus had taken over as the head pastry chef. In the last few months, you’ve watched him mentor and inspire a new group of wide-eyed, green, chefs-in-the-making, which had made you prouder than you’d ever have the words for. 

You can smell the sharp-allium scent of onions, as Syd quarters them for her stock, and while you have several cartons of eggs and 00 flour, Marcus has gathered all the milk that you’d just purchased for today’s prep.

“Behind,” Carmy says. He passes you by with a few 5 qt storage containers stacked, as he hugs them to his body with one arm. 

You feel his other hand place the gentlest touch on the small of your back as he leans in and whispers in your ear, “It’s good to have you back, chef.” 

You smile, turning your head just enough to lean back to look at him. 

“It’s good to be back, chef.” 

He presses the gentlest, slow kiss to your lips, and it feels like time stops for a moment. As he pulls away from you, there’s a small smirk on his face as Sydney shouts, “Oh get a room, you two!” 

“If we had the time…” he murmurs quietly, planting one more soft peck onto your lips. His face is still only inches away from yours. You giggle in response, the tender moment filling your heart with warmth. 

“Speaking of time… I just bought Marcus a head start,” Carmy teases, your jaw dropping as soon as you realize what he’s doing. 

You pull away from him, your head snapping towards Marcus’ direction to see that he’s already filled a 5 qt container to its capacity with one portion of the milk. 

“Seriously? Damn it, Carmy!” you cry out, shaking your head. “This is sabotage!”

You hear Marcus laugh in the background and as Carmy walks away with a cheeky feeling of accomplishment. You shake your head in disbelief. 

“Sorry, babe. You can deal with a little hazing, yeah? Since you’ve been gone for so long. Gotta give my guy a head start. ‘S only fair.” 

“You’re such a dick,” you scowl, scrambling to catch up. 

Oh it is so on. 

*

By the time you’re done with your day one prep, the four of you head to the hotel. Luckily, it’s only a five minute walk away, and you’re grateful that the James Beard Foundation chose to partner with one so close. The four of you pull your suitcases down the streets of Greenwich Village, before arriving at the luxurious, vintage-inspired hotel. 

You’re eager to get up to your room, as you haven’t had a shower, nor a time to take a break since you all arrived. 

“Woah…” Carmy says, his brilliant blue eyes scanning the high end hotel room. “You sure we can afford this?” 

You chuckle, “I think uh… they have a partnership with the James Beard Foundation, which is the only way I can answer your question with a ‘yes’ without having to tell you that we have to sell an arm, a leg, and our first born.” 

He shoots a half smile in your direction before letting out a whistle as he looks around. The floor to ceiling windows feel way outside of anything you could afford, as Carmy spots the French doors that lead right out onto a terrace. As you continue to explore the rest of the room, you spot a huge tub in the bathroom – something you’re very eager to take advantage of. 

“Power nap?” you ask Carmy, setting down your suitcase in the middle of the room. 

You’ll put your things away later.

“Fuck yeah,” he agrees eagerly.

You’ve barely put your book bag down before you’re both stripping off your jeans and climbing into the perfectly made hotel bed. After spending the morning traveling, you, Sydney, Marcus, and Carmy had gotten off the plane at JFK and gone straight to the James Beard House in Greenwich. Not only had Carmy been antsy to see the kitchen and get a head start on prep, you hadn’t been able to check into your hotel till this afternoon. You’re both spent, and you know that Carmy’s been running himself ragged preparing for this once in a lifetime opportunity. He hasn’t been sleeping all that well either– his thoughts consumed with nailing down the perfect menu, while paralyzed with indecision.

His quest for perfection had made him irritable over the last few days. You could see that the pressure was getting to him. His appetite was down, he was picking fights with you about small, unnecessary things at home, and pushing Sydney (sometimes a little too hard) at the restaurant. 

But today, he seems a little more in control of his feelings, and it puts him a little more at ease now that you’re finally in New York. He knows he’s been driving you crazy all week, and now that you’re all here, he’s hoping he can relax a little. 

Now that you’re here, in the city. 

Now that the dinner is only a day and a half away. 

You’re hoping he’ll slow down at some point too – give himself a little time to enjoy how big of an accomplishment this is. At least by the end of the weekend. Frankly, you’re glad you’ll have Saturday to enjoy the city without any pressure. 

For all of your sakes. 

You’re surprised that Carmy falls asleep with you during your late afternoon nap. He’s been so wired, so high strung lately, but you’ve just been waiting for him to come back down. Now that it seems like he is, there’s no way in hell you’re going to wake him up. You’re curled up together when you wake, your back pressed against his chest, his arms enveloping you. It feels almost impossible to pry yourself out of his arms without waking him up, but his deep slumber confirms your suspicions and you’re more than willing to let him continue sleeping. It takes a few tries to slip out of his embrace, but you do, and it’s off to the bathroom to get ready for dinner.

You try to make as little noise as possible, but by the time you're out of the shower, and your hair has been blown dry, Carmy’s up. You can hear the hotel TV on as you exit the bathroom and see he’s put his jeans back on. He’s perched on the edge of the bed, still rubbing the sleep from his eyes. You notice that the dark circles under his eyes that have accumulated over the years seem to sit heavier this week, as his eyes flicker over towards you.

“Damn, my girl’s got style,” he compliments, checking out your all black-ensemble. “We really are back in New York, huh?”

You nod, grinning at his sweet compliment, as you sit down to slip your white sneakers on. 

“You meetin’ up with Liz and Maya tonight?” he asks you. 

“Yeah. Syd’s gonna join for a bit before her thing. She should uh… be here any minute, actually.” You begin tying up the shoelaces of one of your shoes, before slipping the other one on. 

“You sure you don’t want to come?”

“Nah I-, I'll see ‘em tomorrow right? But tell ‘em I say ‘hello’.”

“Of course. I think they’re both really looking forward to seeing you.”

You check the time on your phone making sure you have enough time, before you make your way to where Carmy sits on the edge of the bed. 

“What’re you going to do tonight?” you ask, curiously, stopping so that your body is right in front of his. 

“Well Marcus is staging at per se so… I’ll probably just hang out. Order room service or pick up a sandwich across the street. I wanna run through all this shit so tomorrow goes as well as it can,” Carmy answers, waving his notebook at you. 

He’s like a man possessed, but it’s one of the many reasons you love him. You pull the notebook out of his hands tossing it somewhere on the bed behind you. You place your knees on each side of his hips, before settling down on top of him. 

“Think you can relax a little tonight?”

He pulls you in, his arms moving over your hips. Carmy leans in, placing a small kiss against your glossy lips. 

“Think you can help me with that?”

You giggle in response, twisting your fingers into the curls at the nape of his neck.

“I think… that could be arranged.”

Before anything too spicy can happen, there’s a knock at the door and you know it’s Syd. Carmy groans as you pull away, falling back onto the bed with a sigh of defeat. You climb off of him, heading to answer the door. 

“Hey, you ready?” Sydney asks, as you greet her. 

“Yeah, let me just grab my phone,” you reply, stepping aside to let her in. 

As she enters the hotel room, Carmy’s sitting up. With his feet planted firmly on the ground, he leans over, resting his forearms on his legs as he runs a hand through his messy curls. 

Sydney looks from you to a somewhat pouty Carmy, as if she knows she interrupted something. 

“Staying in tonight, Carm?” she asks him, as you gather your things. 

“Yeah,” he grumbles, and you can’t help but notice how tired he looks. 

Sydney rolls her eyes in response, “Don’t worry. I’ll have her back by nine.”

“Alright, I’m ready,” you say with a smile as you address Sydney. 

“You guys have fun,” Carmy nods, with a half assed wave.

“Don’t work too hard, boss,” Sydney adds, as the two of you turn to leave. “Oh and Carmy. You’ve got a little…” She gestures towards the lipstick you’ve left on his face. 

You laugh in response, and as you close the door, Carmy can hear Sydney’s ‘oh my god, you two are like rabbits’ comment in the distance. 

Carmy allows himself to fall back on the bed, reaching above his head to grab his notebook again. He’s honestly grateful to have a night to himself. He’s never been much for going out, or big social events, so having a night in feels like a good kind of calm before the storm – especially because the next few days will be full of social interactions. He’d always found New York City a little overstimulating. 

Between the dinner and the reception on Saturday, Carmy felt like he was collapsing under the enormous pressure – his only out being excellence. It’s not just the fact that being invited to cook at the James Beard house was a once in a lifetime opportunity, but there’s important business to announce here too. And then there’s the social aspect of it all, and he can’t help but feel like there are high expectations: from the food world, his reputation, your old friends from New York. And he wants to make everyone happy – he wants to impress them all. 

Something about being back here, and being back here with you, has him caught up in his head about it all. This is where you’d met. It’s also where he’d been at his lowest – right before Mikey died. So much has changed, and Carmy feels too large for his old battlefield.

Because that’s what it had been for him: a battlefield. 

A battle for his mental health, to rise to the top of the New York City fine dining scene, fighting with his feelings for you. 

Over the last two years, he had learned that he didn’t have to fight every single damn day. Some days he could just… be – be himself, whatever the fuck that meant, be a friend, and be with you. It felt strange – familiar and unfamiliar at the same time. Being back here makes him somehow feel like the total loser he was six years ago when he first arrived in NYC… and a completely different person at the same time. 

While he was over the moon when he got the call from the James Beard Foundation, he also couldn’t fight this uncomfortable feeling that’s been sitting in his stomach all week long. Carmy had never quite been able to come to terms with the whole ‘celebrity’ aspect of the food world. He knew what he could do in the kitchen. That was unquestionable. But the rest of it – the networking, the celebrity chef circles – was the part he felt most unsure about.

Ever since Sydney’s Rising Star win, he’d let her take center stage with her rising visibility in the culinary world. Actually, he’d been grateful that she was so good at it – that it seemed like she enjoyed the part of the job he hated. There was someone to take the pressure off of him – someone who thrived in front of the camera so that he didn’t have to. But he knows at some point this weekend, he’ll have to face the music. 

There were big changes coming to The Bear. 

*

It didn’t take long after the initial introductions for your friends to fawn over Sydney. They were more than happy to meet your friend they’d heard all about, and the incredible chef who was shaking up the Chicago food scene. 

“Well I’m glad to hear that some things have changed and that working with Carmy’s not a total nightmare any longer-?” Liz concludes your conversation about the restaurant, earning an eye roll from Maya and a laugh from both you and Sydney.

“Oh no it’s still tough sometimes,” Sydney says back. “He has his days. We all do.”

“Liz!” you protest, in regards to the Carmy-bashing.

“What?! You didn’t have to work directly under him back then!” she defends herself, before clarifying with Sydney. “And in his defense, Sydney, it was really our exec chef who was the real nightmare.”

“Oh she works directly under him, alright,” Maya jokes, raising an eyebrow at you. 

“And sometimes on top of him, and also-,” you quip back, ready to play along.

“Oh my god, you’re out of control and I am sick of you!” Sydney exclaims with a laugh in reference to your crass comment.

“So tell us more about the new restaurant,” Maya prompts, refocusing the conversation back to Sydney’s previous reveal.

Sydney tells your friends about The Bear’s plans to expand, and shares ideas she has that even you haven’t heard from Carmy yet. As she wraps up her story, she realizes what time it is, meaning that she’s gotta head uptown soon. She really only was supposed to stay for a glass of wine, but meeting your friends has been so fun that she’s lost track of time. 

“Shit. I have to head out,” she says. “But I’ve really loved meeting you guys. You’re coming to the dinner tomorrow night, right?”

“Wouldn’t miss it.”

“Absolutely.”

“And the reception!” you add gleefully, so glad you get to see your best friends three days in a row. 

“It’s been really great meeting you, Sydney,” Liz says, shooting you a look of approval. She squeezes your hand under the table momentarily, before saying, “Thanks for taking care of our girl. She speaks so highly of you.”

“Where are you off to next?” Maya asks, excitedly. 

“Syd’s got dinner plans,” you answer, waiting for Sydney to provide more detail.

“Yeah, I uh-, I got invited to one of the To Be Hosted events and it just worked out that we’d be in town for this the same weekend,” Sydney replies, a glimmer of excitement flashing through her eyes as she shares.

“Damn, you got invited to a supper club?” Liz marvels. “Okay!”

“Yeah because she’s a rockstar,” you cheer your friend on, saying it so matter of factly that even a stranger would believe you. 

You all say your goodbyes to Sydney before ordering food. It feels so good to be back in the city, back here with some of your best friends. Maya and Liz had been the friends that held you up, and you them, when you lived here. While you had met Liz at your last job, a sous chef under Carmy’s leadership, Maya worked in fashion and the two of you had become fast friends after meeting through an ex-boyfriend. Once you introduced the two of them to each other, the three of you had been inseparable ever since. 

They had always been your biggest cheerleaders – especially when it came to you and Carmy.

“She’s great,” Maya says, in reference to Sydney. 

“Right? I’m so excited for her. This is a huge deal: create her own menu, a chance to run kitchen without Carmy…” you agree, feeling deep satisfaction over the amazing people you have in your life. “We’re announcing the big news at the dinner tomorrow.”

“Speaking of, how is our favorite guy? What’s he up to tonight?” Maya asks, guiding the conversation back to Carmy. 

“I told him he could come but I think he wanted to stay in tonight. I think he needs some time to decompress. He’s been pretty high strung all week,” you answer. 

“Carmy? High strung?” Liz asks back sarcastically, earning a laugh from you.  “I’m kidding! I really am looking forward to seeing him tomorrow. 

Maya shakes her head, before taking a sip of her glass of wine. She’s always adored Carmy, but knows that Liz has a different relationship with him, having worked as a line cook. 

“You guys are… getting serious, huh?” Liz asks, glancing over at you. 

“Um.. I think those two were married after their first coffee date,” Maya adds. 

“It was not a date!” you insist, shooting her a look. 

Liz lets out an unconvinced laugh, and you accept defeat because you know they’ve always been right about you and Carmy. 

“Maya, don’t forget. Our girl is and has always been the Queen of Denial,” Liz adds, winking in your direction. 

“Oh ha-ha. You guys are so funny,” you reply dryly. You nod, thinking about you and Carmy’s relationship over the last few years. “Yeah uh… it’ll be three years in the Fall so… you could say it’s getting pretty serious.”

Your friends are beaming back at you in response to your admission, and while you’d love to spend all night talking about how head over heels you are for Carmy, you’re also kind of ready to shift the attention off of you and your relationship. 

“Enough about me. What’s going on with you guys?” you change the subject. 

It feels so good to catch up with your girl friends. You all agree to make it an early night. While Maya’s husband had agreed to put their kid to bed, she wants to make it home in time anyways. Liz has a date later, and before you know it, you’ve wrapped up dinner and are walking back to your hotel. You send Carmy a quick text, because you’re only a few blocks away. 

You: On the way back. 

New York City has always been so inspiring to you. The city itself feels alive – like there’s an electric undercurrent that always makes you feel so full. There’s never a dull moment, and it feels as if the potential for a wild adventure is always around the corner. It’s also the place that you and Carmy met, all those years ago. It’s funny. The version of you that met him six years ago never could’ve predicted this: that you’d actually get to be here together, after almost three years of loving each other fiercely. 

Your friends were and always have been right about you. 

Back then, you were Queen of Denial and even then, Carmy had been your king. 

But you’re here now: in the city you met in, stupidly in love with the man you’d met six years ago who had seemed terrified to merely have a conversation with you. 

Your phone buzzes in your hand, interrupting your trip down memory lane, as you peek at the text you just received. 

Carmy: Went out for a walk and a smoke. 

You type back a quick, yet short reply. 

You: Love you. 

When you return to the hotel room, you enjoy the quiet of the evening. It still feels like spring in NYC, so you open a window because it just feels too damn good outside. No wonder he’d gone for a walk. You kick your shoes off, placing them gently by the door, before stripping off your jacket and heading into the bathroom. 

As you pull your hair up and out of your face, piling it into one conglomerate on top of your head, you eye the large bathtub you’d admired earlier.  Not only are you in need of a relaxing soak, but you’re hoping you can persuade Carmy to join you – maybe even help him destress a little. You don’t think twice about it, as you strip off all of your clothes, sliding on one of the fluffy robes that the hotel has provided. You flip on the hot water, the sound of rumbling water against tile hitting your ears.

There’s a bath soak in a glass jar that you find on the bathroom counter, before adding it to the increasingly hot water. While it looks like a mixture of some kind of soak and epsom salt, large bubbles begin to form underneath the rapid stream of the faucet, and you inhale deeply. 

Lavender. Vanilla. Chamomile, maybe?

The smell puts you at ease and you can feel your shoulders melting away from your ears. 

It’s not long before Carmy returns, the bathtub is almost at its capacity and the bath soak that you put in the hot water has bubbled up and blossomed into large, sudsy configurations. You’ve put on a jazz playlist, the sounds of Ella Fitzgerald filling the small space as you hum along. 

“Babe?” Carmy calls out to you, as you hear the front door close behind him. 

“I’m in here,” you call to him, turning the volume of your phone down a few levels. . 

You hear a shuffle of shoes, before he’s peeking around the door frame, his eyes lighting up as soon as he sees you. He knows it’s silly. It’s not like he’s been able to be very present over the last week, and it begins to dawn on him that he’s missed you.

“How was your walk?” you ask softly. 

“Good.”

He looks around the bathroom, the air thick with humidity from the hot water. You turn the faucet off, as you’ve now filled the tub to its capacity.

“You look comfy.”

“I am. It’s a very comfy robe.”

You wait a beat before preparing your ask.

“Big tub,” you entice him, gesturing towards the bubble bath that awaits you. 

“Yeah?” he asks, a half smile on the edges of his lips as he takes a step towards you. 

“Big enough for two,” you nod, making your case. 

It’s all the convincing he needs. You’re removing your robe, leaving your bare body on display for him to see, and soon enough, he’s stripping down and climbing into the bathtub with you. You share an awkward laugh as the two of you clumsily figure out how to position yourselves for optimal comfort. Your back is pressed against his chest, and you’re truly in awe of the large bathtub that somehow holds the both of you.

It becomes progressively easier for Carmy to relax. Between the hot water, and your naked body pressed against his, thoughts and worries about tomorrow begin to slip away. The two of you enjoy the quiet intimacy between you, the soft sounds of your favorite jazz standards, and Carmy’s lazily dragging his fingertips across any bit of exposed skin that he can.

You lean your head back against his shoulder, and Carmy buries his face in the crevice where your neck and shoulders meet. 

“Why don’t we do this more often?” he asks, in between leaving a few slow-paced, soft kisses across your shoulders. 

“Hm?” you hum in response. From the way his mouth and hands move across your body, and the silky feeling of the hot water, you barely have a thought left in your head.

“This whole… bath thing,” he clarifies, exhaling a deep sigh. 

This may be the most relaxed he’s felt all week and he likes that you seem to be enjoying this too.  

“Probably because we have a tub that I can only assume was built for a small show dog,” you joke. 

He laughs dryly. 

“Fair enough.”

Carmy waits a beat before speaking again, enjoying how his mind has quieted for the first time in days.

“Let’s put it on the list… for when we’re ready to move to a new place,” he suggests, quietly. 

“Somewhere with a big tub?” you ask, only sort of surprised by his request. 

“Yeah.”

You turn your head to look at him, as Carmy presses a searing kiss to your lips. You feel his hand snake between your legs and you begin to understand exactly why he’s enjoying this whole bath thing. 

“As much as I’m enjoying this…” he whispers against your lips. “Think you maybe want to get out of this tub…”

Another kiss.

“… dry off…”

You slide your tongue against his as his fingertips move higher up your inner thigh, earning a hiss of pleasure from you. 

“…not put our clothes back on?”

And then he’s swallowing your moans in his mouth, as he continues his exploration. Your head is spinning, and it’s not just the hot water that makes you feel as if your soul was set aflame.

“Yes.”

*

The next morning, you wake up alone. On the bedside table there’s a note in Carmy’s scratchy handwriting that reads:

Couldn’t sleep. Went to Chelsea Market. Love you.

You let out a frustrated sigh. Last night had been incredible but you also knew it’d be back to the grind today. While you’re excited for him – and for tonight – you’re also kind of ready for this to be over. You’re ready to have your boyfriend back.

read: bonus smut scene | chapter two

taglist: @allthefandomstogether @gaysludge @sobshoney @harrysmatcha @starbritestarlite @tpwkkmila

[onetimetwotimesthreetimess]

Alright Cuties, Story Time

So, as you’ve seen, I’ve been pretty absent from Tumblr this year. I’ve been distant from my writing, and it’s been genuinely heartbreaking. A huge reason is my incredibly toxic work environment.

I've been working in the sustainability and public health since my master’s, landing a high-paying job, which is rare in India’s social sector. I’m on the management team, leading social impact, and it felt fantastic at first. But my manage is one of the worst people I’ve ever dealt with. She’s misogynistic, classist, casteist, and hateful towards women and marginalized groups. Surprisingly, not homophobic (I even told her I’m bisexual before realizing she’s a nightmare). I have never met a woman who hates other women so much. She is so hateful and malicious and vengeful.

This year’s been a true struggle, and I’ve felt powerless, especially as someone who values standing up for what’s right.

I have a team of my own and genuinely allow them to do whatever the fuck they want and don’t micromanage. I approve all their leaves/late-in, xyz. This is also not something that she’s okay with and repeatedly asks me to be difficult with them, which I’ve refused to.

I thought helping people through my work would be enough it’s not anymore. And I won’t pretend to be a sane, I’ve stayed this long because the pay was great tbh. It just doesn’t hit the same anymore lol. Even the work does not bring me any kind of satisfaction. I cannot help anyone unless I help myself first.

I thought helping people through my work would be enough it’s not anymore. And I won’t pretend to be a sane, I’ve stayed this long because the pay was great tbh. It just doesn’t hit the same anymore lol. Even the work does not bring me any kind of satisfaction. I cannot help anyone unless I help myself first.

I’ve taken seven days off this year overall. Even weekends don’t feel like breaks cause I’m just so anxious thinking of mondays. I just had a short Diwali break, but I'm back to work tomorrow, and I’m planning to resign soon. I’ll start job hunting or maybe take a break, since I do have a lot of savings now or even tap into that family wealth I better hope my parents are hiding from me

While she’s never been directly rude to me, shes mostly acted like a friend to me which has been worse. But she’s targeted others—like pressuring me to spy on someone; taking legal action against a pregnant ex-employee, and creating such a hostile environment that one person even tried to jump off the office roof. I have proof against her, and when I resign, I plan to use it. She needs to be held accountable for all of this.

I was also a kid back when I joined, fresh out of school and didn’t know better. I do now. And no one’s allowed me exploit me anymore. Like she’s just a person. A miserable, despicable version of a person but just a person nonetheless. And I have receipts now.

This is why I’ve been so absent. Not being able to write or even breathe has worsened my mental health. My personality’s changed, and I haven’t seen most of my friends in a year. Fortunately, I live with my childhood best friend, which has been a lifeline.

I’m resuming work tomorrow and will need to have a very difficult conversation with her about something and it will not be easy. It’s going to end badly, I know that. But I’m gonna rip apart this cunt if she tries to fuck with me now. I have had it.

Thought I’d just share this with yall.

Wish me luck.

Love,

Eeshu 🌻

[maxmoffs]

I just, love you all so much 🥹🥺♥️ wahh like I seriously cannot express my gratitude enough , I’d been wanting to write wanda this whole year and it only took me this November to really decide to re-introduce her again and then make the multi + other blogs again after 4-5 years of being gone from tumblr , and I know it’s only been like two months that’s why I’m still quite slow and settling organically but honestly really just basking in the fun of it all , but it makes me so happy that I’m writing again, and a bonus to that is making genuine friendships that I’ve made in that span too, makes me feel a lot safer and happier to stick around, posting that psa also helped me feel a lot more comfortable to just post whatever and whenever I want bc I really do not wanna have unnecessary pressure to prove myself or my writing when I know I love it so much and put my whole heart into my muses, so thank you for letting me share that with yall and I cannot wait to just get deeper and connect more with all of u even if it takes time sometimes , but pls know that your lives are much more important so give yourself grace first! this space is to write and have a good time, and just know that once we’re mutuals, I want to write with u!

[sunwarmed-ash]

Heyoooo Happy Monday!

Did yall read last nights Sinful Sunday update? its here if you didn't get a chance yet!

I also got tagged by @lizzy0305 for WIP Wednesday Monday!

WIP MONDAY

Detroit Become Human, Hurt/Comfort, Sad Gavin Reed, HankCon established, previous Hankvin, eventual Hankconvin

My love language is misery: (Ch 3 preview)

It's silent in the car since Connor and Hank left the station to go check on Gavin.  According to Detective Chen, the younger Detective had left work shortly after their ‘interaction’ outside the breakroom. Mentioning something about needing a change of clothes before walking out. Hank and Connor were quick to follow him out the doors and Connor’s earlier worry only compounded the longer they traveled.  “To answer your question from earlier, about me and Gavin having a relationship. sorta.”  “Sorta how?” Connor asks, needing to know everything to sort out a best course of action to help Gavin.  Hank exhales through his nose and keeps his eyes forward out the windshield.  “Before everything went to shit, and before me and Annie got together again. When we were both young and single, and fuckin’ everythin’ that moved… We hooked up, few times. But I thought- He never mentioned…” Hank huffs a little, struggling to find the right words, “I didn't think it was more than that… Always thought we were just playin’ but, what he said yesterday… haven't been able to get it out of my head since.” Connor analyzes Hank's increase in blood pressure and stress and places his hand on Hank’s knee in comfort.  “What did he say?”  Hank takes one hand off the steering wheel to squeeze it before returning his hand to its previous position on the wheel.  “That I only want him when I can’t have him. Specifically, when I’m already with someone else. I don't know, I guess, now that I look back and think about it, I can see why he said it. I’ve never been very good at maintaining personal ‘relationships.’” “I don't know, I'd say this relationship is going quite well,” Connor smiles. It eases enough of the tension hanging in the car and Hank chuckles.  “Yeah, I think that’s sorta the problem.” “He perceives me as a threat,” Connor interprets. “Big time.” “I see.” “We’ve always had a, complicated, relationship, Gav and I. But he's got some of his own additional demons on board. I think that might be what’s fucking him up now. Especially since uh, we aren't doing to much to hide our relationship at work.” “Yes, perhaps we have been playing a little ‘fast and loose’ with that line,” Connor agrees.  “Mmm,” Hank agrees. A few moments of silence pass in the car and then Connor has to ask,  “What happened to him?” Hank’s next exhale is obviously conflicted.  “Can’t tell ya that, I’m afraid. Sorry Con. It's his business, nothing personal. I just wouldn't feel right.” “I understand,” Connor says, because he does. No unintended subtext. PTSD is something Connor is intimately familiar with now, and he wants to come across as non threatening as possible tonight. “Are there any general things I should be aware of? I don't want to unintentionally set off an attack.”  “Just, follow my lead. And let him come to you. When he’s dissociating, he can’t always see what's going on in front of him.” More pieces slid into place for Connor with that confession.  “Like this morning, in the breakroom.” “Yeah, exactly.” It’s quiet another moment and then Connor says,  “He’s lucky to have someone like you Hank,” because he means it. Gavin doesn’t have a lot of friends at the DPD thanks to his almost 24/7 sour mood. And after today, he could probably use one.  Hank scoffs a little disbelievingly at Connor’s praise but meets him in the middle with,   “Yeah well, hopefully we can at least convince him to accept our help.”

@sweeteatercat @treeffles @disdaidal @tradedsymmetry @covenscribe @advictoriams @negative-citadel @writerwhowritesao3 and anyone else who wants to!! Have a great day everyone, I'm gonna try and get some sun today!

[smilesrobotlover]

A smile for smiles:

:DDD

Your love at twilight art literally makes me so happy. (And young rusl and link sparring is so cute)

Also all of your writing lately (and wips) have been so amazing? Just found myself with my jaw open reading your stuff. You're just so cool, what an amazing talent. (And yeah I definitely reread your writing :P)

Could I ask about Ilia from Love at Twilight?Because if you want to rant I am curious what her role (feelings?) is in that.

You are loved <33

:D

Ah thank you so much for your kind words 😭😭😭😭 these asks make me so happy !! I had the dumbest smile on my face drawing Rusl an Link sparring I love their relationship 😭😭😭

Augh yall 😭😭 I’ve been feeling like my writing has been very bland and bad so that’s much appreciated 🥺🥺 and again, I can’t fathom y’all rereading my writing I don’t feel like I’m good enough for that dhsksbskhsksbs

And yeah I’ll try to be nice about this cuz I know everyone likes her. I keep forgetting about her and if i’m not careful I’ll completely forget to add her in the au 😭 how I feel about her doesn’t really matter cuz she is an important character and deserves a role in this

So there’s a lot of drama that happens. Link felt pressured to get with Ilia during tp and he never returned her feelings. Plus, after the events, the idea of staying in Ordon with a family was almost suffocating to him (which is funny considering, well, everything.) this may be an unpopular opinion, but to me, Ilia seems like a character who wants to start a family and who wants to be a wife and mother. So when Link tells her he doesn’t want to settle down, naturally it’s hard for her to hear. She wants to settle down and she loves him, but he doesn’t love her back and he also doesn’t want to settle down. After the two years, she does try one more time to see if he’s ready (she only assumes that he’s not ready to settle down), but she sees Kori, and Kori calls Link papa and it’s pretty obvious to figure out that he is Link’s child. Ilia is pretty upset at this cuz he said that he didn’t want to settle down but here he is with a child that appeared out of nowhere. It’s here that Ilia realizes that he never loved her the same way she loved her and she finally decides to leave Ordon and everyone discovers Link’s love child. This was extremely hard for Link and yeaaah. Lots of drama

I don’t want to say that he and Ilia are on bad terms during love at twilight, but it’s definitely not the same. In love at twilight, Ilia is married with kids in castle town and she occasionally works at Telma’s bar because she likes it there. She and Link will def work past this, but at that time it was bad unfortunately.

[luzi35]

Oh my++ gosh…what the fuck is wrong with you people???

…Is this seriously all over her hate for Uzi, NUzi, and shipping J x N??

Like I’ve++ never seen her do anything bad or problematic and even then death threats and harassing her does not make you better?

It doesn’t help when I++ recognize some of the folks harassing her too like…I’m++ so shocked? I++ don’t know what happened last time, I++ saw some posts about it but didn’t really comprehend them but this now? I’m++ just seeing it like…

Is this seriously harassment over not liking fictional characters and their relationships?

I’ve++ heard of NUzi fans being horrible and was in a bit disbelief because I++ never came across one that was so awful and believed that NUzi fans on TikTok were noted as the worse ones but yall are really proving them right about yall not being all that.

I++ don’t like getting involved in situations when I++ don’t know all the details or what’s going on to avoid making major mistakes like that but now I’m++ tired of being silent and watching this person be harassed and no one saying anything.

I++ know I++ don’t really have the amount of followers to be saying this but if you could show @lesslie-sass some love, please do. You can skip over what I’m++ about to say in the Indented if you’d like since it’s directed to Lesslie anyways. I’m++ a very hearty, wordy being so I++, myself++, will always say a lot.

I’ll++ say something below myself++:

Hey Lesslie, I++ just want to show you some love and support during all of this. I++ was the Anon here and we++, as a system, would like to continue supporting you even if we++ aren’t sure about your views on systems. To us++, it’s more important to speak out against harassment that’s so severe like this than to stay silent from any preconceived notion about our++ existence.

I++ want you to know that I++ am here for you deeply if no one else seems to be and I++ would like for you to send me++ a DM so we[++] can talk and I++ promise you I++ will listen. Of course, I++ don’t want to pressure you into sending me++ one but just know that if there’s anything you need, I++ am here for you. I++ cannot stop people from harassing you but I++ can be there to listen and offer you my++ advice. I++ didn’t comprehend what happened last time and I++ wasn’t there when it went down but I++ am here now. Whatever happened then does not excuse what you’re going through now.

I++ know it’s easy for folks to just say “ignore them and move on” even with the best intentions in their heart but I++ know it isn’t that easy or that simple. I’ve++ been harassed multiple times before and those instances have left me++ traumatized. I++ have recovered more since then but I++ can still have those days where it really hurts still. However, recovery takes time whether it’s absolute or most of what you can do at the time. Being told to “get over it” even in the most kindest, sincerest way will not help you. You have to sit with the pain and cope with it.

When it comes to blocking people who harass you, it can alleviate some pain; still, I++ know that it still has the possibility of making things feel much worse. The thought of someone out there talking about you and your work without you knowing or being able to defend yourself can hurt a lot. Trust me++, I++ know. The thought of that leading to even more harassment can be a lot as well, trust me++ when I++ say I++ know that as well. It can hurt a lot but that doesn’t have to be the end of you: whether that’s yourself or your online presence.

People are gonna feel the way they feel about your artwork, regardless of your intentions. That doesn’t mean you should forget your very own intentions. I++ know it can be hard to keep going when you have to deal with all of this but I++ want you to know that despite all the bad, there’s still good to look at too. Think about your accomplishments or things in life that you have or done that have brought you joy. I’ll++ add to that: You’re a great artist and you have an adorable artstyle! That’s something to be proud of!

I++ really loved seeing your CodeGold art and it gave Seph and Ink-o more confidence to start posting sear own regarding our+ in-system relationships! Just seeing someone else out there posting semi-frequently about it was just so nice to see when the fandom tends to hate anyone who ships it / the ship itself no matter the reason behind it so I++ just really appreciate you a lot for that.

I++ know I++ could of send this in a DM instead but it takes me++ a lot of confidence and other mental health related things (ie. anxious that the person I++ DM will hate me++ immediately and so on) to feel okay to DM anyone so it’s easier to make a post strangely enough. I++ didn’t want to wait so long to say anything either—even more from how I++ woke up to seeing this and immediately started typing my++ thoughts 😭—so this was the best option for me++ and I++ can vocally support you even more this way so I++ hope you don’t mind. ^^"

Again, I’d++ like to say that I++ am here for you if you need anyone and I++ hope the best for you! ^^

Now to conclude this…I++ know there’s some of yall who follow me++ or be coming on and off my++ account liking and reposting shit and yall believe in behavior like this. Go block me++ and unfollow me++. Cause if you seriously believe you’re in the right for harassing or supporting harassment against this person, I++ strongly suggest you seek self-betterment and apologize if you actually do something. Cause this looks nothing more than the typical borderline harassment and hate out of no where which is something I’ve++ experienced before.

CURATE YOUR ONLINE SPACES.

If someone is posting something you don’t like, either block that person or that tag. Simple as that. Don’t start harassment campaigns against people over fictional characters or their thoughts on them. You can complain without saying any names! You don’t have to subject people to unwarranted harassment! If they’re doing something genuinely harmful, it’s a different thing but that still doesn’t excuse the harassment side of it and it never should. Get it together. You will be a better person by not being the one who harasses someone over an opinion over fictional ships or fictional characters especially of those with such a small account like Lesslie’s. If you seriously believe harassing someone will make them hate the ship or character less, think again. It’ll make it worse and if they DO change it’s because you took the time out of your day to use a form of abuse to make that person change their mind. Now that may not always be the case as opinions can change but in regard to fandom, that’s usually how it happens.

Here I’ll++ say something myself before I++ end this off completely.

I++ LOVE NUZI and I++ LOVE UZI. Point blank period. They’re both comforting and extremely adored by me++, if that wasn’t obvious enough. I’ve++ seen a post or 2 about Lesslie talking about not liking Uzi or NUzi and I++ personally don’t agree with her on that but I++ can understand where she’s coming from a bit in her arguments against them and that’s fine! She has her reasons for not liking Uzi or NUzi, I++ have my++ reasons for liking them! I++ still like her art posts and I++ still like my++ own NUzi and Uzi hyper-fixations. I++ avoid her serious posts talking about her dislike for them and focus on enjoying all the posts who love NUzi too over the ones hating on the ship. My++ opinion hasn’t changed over seeing her’s and wow! That’s amazing, right?

Moral of the the story, you don’t HAVE to agree with everyone you follow, you don’t HAVE to harass anyone who doesn’t agree with you, and you don’t HAVE to stoop yourself so, so LOW as a person over fictional characters because at the end of the day, you’re hurting the life of someone with real flesh and blood.

That’s all I++ have to say.

[hyukalyptus]

fuck it this is my personal diary and yall just happen to read it OK i can rant about dumb stuff without repercussions since yall ain’t know me. but i wanted to get this off my chest. i don’t expect answers or replies or even acknowledgement so no pressure.

but this thing happens to me a LOT where people really want to be my friend but are too scared to talk to me. i’ve been told this MANY times. once i invited an acquaintance to a concert and after we became friends she was like “i was so excited that first time you ask me to go to that concert. i literally tweeted about it.” i asked why she didn’t ask to hang out sooner. she told me she was too nervous because i seemed so cool.

another time, a woman acquaintance asked me to lunch w her friend. i said sure. i watch her go back to her friend and they’re like smiling and really excited, literally high five each other and are like “Yes!!” and these are just a few examples.

but it feels like it’s so hard to keep those friends. it feels like once people get to know me, they’re disappointed in who i actually am? and it just kinda reminds me of whenever the internet latches onto an autistic coded character for a few weeks, like wednesday addams or that girl from queens gambit for example, but yall would NEVER be friends with those women irl. like yall like the idea of being friends with an autistic but don’t actually like the autistic. it feels like people like the idea of me. but don’t actually like me.

and i’m not mad or upset with anyone in particular i swear, so if you feel like this is directed at you, i promise it’s not. “yall” isn’t directed toward anyone either. it’s just been on my mind and like i said—

[chiwi-la-capybara]

Yall ever think about how Herman Melville pioneered the trope there was only one bed?

“Landlord,” said I, going up to him as cool as Mt. Hecla in a snow-storm—“landlord, stop whittling. You and I must understand one another, and that too without delay. I come to your house and want a bed; you tell me you can only give me half a one; that the other half belongs to a certain harpooneer. And about this harpooneer, whom I have not yet seen, you persist in telling me the most mystifying and exasperating stories tending to beget in me an uncomfortable feeling towards the man whom you design for my bedfellow—a sort of connexion, landlord, which is an intimate and confidential one in the highest degree. I now demand of you to speak out and tell me who and what this harpooneer is, and whether I shall be in all respects safe to spend the night with him. And in the first place, you will be so good as to unsay that story about selling his head, which if true I take to be good evidence that this harpooneer is stark mad, and I’ve no idea of sleeping with a madman; and you, sir, you I mean, landlord, you, sir, by trying to induce me to do so knowingly, would thereby render yourself liable to a criminal prosecution.”

“Wall,” said the landlord, fetching a long breath, “that’s a purty long sarmon for a chap that rips a little now and then. But be easy, be easy, this here harpooneer I have been tellin’ you of has just arrived from the south seas, where he bought up a lot of ’balmed New Zealand heads (great curios, you know), and he’s sold all on ’em but one, and that one he’s trying to sell to-night, cause to-morrow’s Sunday, and it would not do to be sellin’ human heads about the streets when folks is goin’ to churches. He wanted to, last Sunday, but I stopped him just as he was goin’ out of the door with four heads strung on a string, for all the airth like a string of inions.”

This account cleared up the otherwise unaccountable mystery, and showed that the landlord, after all, had had no idea of fooling me—but at the same time what could I think of a harpooneer who stayed out of a Saturday night clean into the holy Sabbath, engaged in such a cannibal business as selling the heads of dead idolators?

“Depend upon it, landlord, that harpooneer is a dangerous man.”

“He pays reg’lar,” was the rejoinder.

...

“Landlord,” said I, “tell him to stash his tomahawk there, or pipe, or whatever you call it; tell him to stop smoking, in short, and I will turn in with him. But I don’t fancy having a man smoking in bed with me. It’s dangerous. Besides, I ain’t insured.”

This being told to Queequeg, he at once complied, and again politely motioned me to get into bed—rolling over to one side as much as to say—“I won’t touch a leg of ye.”

“Good night, landlord,” said I, “you may go.”

I turned in, and never slept better in my life.

Upon waking next morning about daylight, I found Queequeg’s arm thrown over me in the most loving and affectionate manner. You had almost thought I had been his wife. The counterpane was of patchwork, full of odd little parti-coloured squares and triangles; and this arm of his tattooed all over with an interminable Cretan labyrinth of a figure, no two parts of which were of one precise shade—owing I suppose to his keeping his arm at sea unmethodically in sun and shade, his shirt sleeves irregularly rolled up at various times—this same arm of his, I say, looked for all the world like a strip of that same patchwork quilt. Indeed, partly lying on it as the arm did when I first awoke, I could hardly tell it from the quilt, they so blended their hues together; and it was only by the sense of weight and pressure that I could tell that Queequeg was hugging me.

[yoonieper]

I wonder what jungkook was like before yuri, before the company, and before the arranged marriage. I can’t help but wonder under different circumstances, him and y/n would have met in college and be each other’s firsts. Maybe then his life would be so much different and better than how it is now. He’s chasing after fleeting feelings and coming back to an empty home. It was wrong of him to cheat but I want to say it’s justified because of his wife’s actions. All yuri has on him is the title of being his wife, all that’s connecting him to her is a contract and a meaningless ring. With y/n there’s so much room for opportunity to explore. Feelings he’s never felt before, love he never thought existed, happiness he only dreamed of. Y/n’s character is truly strong because she can see he has a lot baggage under his work persona but she refuses to let him down when the one person in his life he wanted shut him out for so long, Jungkook…he’s good, he’s so good, he’s just hurt. I hate to see how much he puts on his own shoulders, he blames himself so much. How does he even go to work and function with almost zero sleep? There’s so much stuff to do at work and deadlines to meet. He’s cramped at work and at home he’s walking on eggshells. Not even allowed to breathe freely in his own home. Y/n is his first break from all of that. She is an Angel who is saving him and he hasn’t realized it yet. Oh man…their love is going to bloom so so beautifully and jungkook is going to heal. I feel so wsrm inside thinking about that. I didn’t mean for this to be so long, kind of let my thoughts take over. I think I can confidently say this is top 3 best series I’ve read and I’ve been here on tumblr since 2015. Huge compliments to the chef for cooking up some incredible storylines and characters. I need to check out your other stories. Any you recommend me to start on next? I’m jungkook, jimin, and Jin biased <3

THIS IS SO SWEET OMG ANON 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽!!! Top 3 wow 🥹…

But hehehehehe all will be revealed at some point 🙂‍↕️ I said this before but yall don’t really know the characters that well yet. There’s still a lot to learn~ But your read of Jungkook is heartbreaking, and unfortunately very true. Like Jk has all of this on his shoulders and the pressure is seriously weighing him down, with no means of escape. But here comes Y/n, he’s experiencing all these new things and feelings, and hopefully she might help him 🥹👏🏽

But the first part of this made me remember the fact that I had thought about maybe one day writing a fun little drabble series in an alternate world where Jk wasn’t arranged and he eventually met Y/n… might do it someday 😌

For recs:

Jungkook: For the Birds is actually my first Jk series so I don’t have any others but if you want something a little more wholesome I really enjoyed writing Chronicles of My Witchy GF!

Jimin: I have a series that’s still in progress that’s definitely angsty— Pecattiphilia! I completed the first arc to that one and I’m currently working on the next few chapters! For a oneshot— Just a Taste is a fun one!

Seokjin: I have a series I’m working on for him but I only have the prologue out cause I got stuck on the storyboard 😅 But I do have a fun wholesome Christmas twoshot— Jingle Bell Rock and Make it Rein if that might interest you!

[dollfaceksj]

I was the one who said “idk how he’ll bounce back from this” & I read his explanation & understand it. It’s still touchy but I feel like it’d be best to hear him out & see where it goes. If he shows that it was all a lie and he actually is only with oc bcs of the resemblance to his ex. Then. I think that’s grounds for termination. But honestly whether other people like the explanation you wrote up for him or not.. I’d still like you to write what YOU had envisioned. I’ve trusted you throughout this whole fic & I haven’t been disappointed at all. I’d love to see how it plays out with what your originally envisioned regardless of anyone else’s thoughts.

the thing is ive constantly said that this is just improv and i want them to be endgame but ive also constantly said that i have no idea what im doing and i have no idea how i want to end it. a a lot of yall keep saying that i should do what i had planned but thats the thing!! ive been freestyling and improvising since the start!! i have nothing planned for how i want it to end!!!

i only had things planned out like lore and certain scenes but for the rest ive been pulling shit out of my ass. idk what im doing. it felt pressuring because i constantly got mixed reviews and i understood everyone’s side and got confused on what to do. thats why im leaving it up to you guys

[a-jynx]

:0 yall are ACTUALLY insane omg- 1,061 of you guys like my stuff??? im so thankful for you all and i hope my future works get as much love <33

also how should we celebrate 1K?? i genuinely have no thought behind it, so if there's something you guys would want to see lemme know !! without further ado; how the DSMP introduce you on stream; [dream team + others]

~~~~

Dream; - this mf doesn't have a face-cam but he does have a mic, so chat 100% heard you come in laughing about a TikTok - "babe-" - he's never jumped so high or muted himself so quickly, but chat was already flying with questions and you couldn't help but feel relief as you guys had been dating for months and you could keep it a secret for so long... - "do you want to come out about our relationship? i don't want you to be bombarded with questions and shit," "we'd have to tell them sometime, bubs," - after getting your approval, he'd unmute and start to introduce you; "okay, chat, uh... Yes, someone came in, yes they called me babe, and yes i am dating someone - sorry simps - this is Y/N, my partner, and I want you guys to show them love and respect since I love them-" "more than George?" - dream glared at you before rolling his eyes, mumbling "you're an idiot" under his breath - oh, and let's just say you guys were trending for a few days <3

Sapnap; - it was definitely during his shock stream (yes, im holding onto the stream for as long as i live) - he forgot to tell you - which doesn't seem possible, but he was busy trying to get dream to fix up the shock collar - "hey bubs what're you-" - once again he's never jumped that high before but he whipped around and stared at you, as you stared back at him before slowly - trying - to lower your voice - "you're streaming-" "i've been streaming for the past hour - how have you not heard me?!" "i've been gone, dickhead!" his mic definitely picked up all of that and there will be clips all over TikTok, so have fun finding those on your fyp ! - he would pause everything before stepping to the side, holding you and whispering (he remembered to mute) - "do you wanna meet them? i know my chat's already freaking out" "you do have some crazy fans babe.. but what's the harm in getting it done..?" -he brought you over, holding you in his lap, and began to answer all of the questions flying in 'how long have you been dating?' 'did you both move in with dream?' 'do we know them somehow??' a lot of questions that lowkey took over the stream but Sap was thankful - dream was being a dick with the cheap jumpscares - "i think that went well," and would you look at that? trendinggg~

George; - that little door that's always closed?? yeah, you opened it and came from there - you lowkey scared the shit out of him since he just saw it from the corner of his eye - "oh my god, Y/N what the hell-" - ayo this boy would actually yell at you to get out or something, but we both know you won't <3 -"okay, rude, i literally came to ask what you wanted to get for dinner" "yeah, and I'm streaming???" "yeah, i know, i can see that- oh you're streaming..." - you both would just stare at each other and would be so confused on what to do - i mean, they've seen you but like... are you guys ready to put your relationship out there? - George would end the stream, not bothering with a goodbye or anything since this was a big thing for you guys - and after discussing it over some take-out, you guys both posted a couple photos on both of your Twitters :)

Quackity; - o m g; he'd just laugh because you looked terrified but then he'd mute and step aside to hug you - he wouldn't know what to do at first; he obviously comforted you first but he had no real idea of how to approach this since he wanted to keep at least a little bit of his life hidden - would ignore it; donos turned off, any questions in bits he skipped over, and of course any questions in chat he ignored - he wouldn't want to pressure you into showing off your relationship when you both agreed to keep it out of your social media lives - ofc the questions would get a lot and if the fans found your socials, they'd spam you asking - finally, Q posted a photo on his Instagram story with him pressing a long kiss to your cheek with the caption 'mi vida'

Wilbur; - he'd watch you come in from his camera - definitely was too late for him to be streaming </3 - "hello, love bug.. did I wake you?" pls he'd be so sweet about accidentally waking you or something before turning his chair towards you, opening his arms - cradling you close, he'd go back to his stream, ignoring the flying by questions, going back to what the conversation was about until he pressed a few kisses to your hair, rubbing his thumb against your shoulder - "yes, chat, this is my significant other, and you can see they're sleepy, so it's going to be a bit quieter," - would ask for screenshots and clips because a) you'd been wanting a new home screen b) he knew you looked cute c) he wanted to gush about you and now was a perfect time- - "oh, chat, that reminds me of the time Y/N did-" and would tell the story; bragging about you came easy to that simp

Karl; - it 100% would be because you wanted to join </3 - probably during a JackBox game with his friends, and they looked like they were having fun - plus Karl mentioned wanting to come forward with your relationship when he noticed that everyone kept pointing out how all of Mr. Beast crew had significant others - his face would literally go :0 to :D so quickly because he noticed it was you - "baby?? did you need something??" "yeah, i wanna join :((" - his heart would explode because of perfect timing?? - "perfect ! Chat, this is-" he'd paused and pull you into the cameras' view with a giggle and pressing small kisses to your cheek as you laughed as well, slouching into his chest as he tried to read chat "this is my lovely, adorable partner Y/N!! - you'd laugh and wave before he unmuted in-game and announced you were wanting to play, which everyone agreed because you were so sweet?? and your answers were top-notch like omg

~~~~

hello, helloooo~

exciting news, i got a new job !! i went shadowing and paperwork today, so my first official day is Monday, so posts will be a little slower as I am now working full-time! I will try and get more stuff out and I hope it still gets all the love <3

Until tomorrow, I hope you have a beautiful day ~ J

[notyetbulletproof]

I’m reading a fic by @ninzied and there is this Eloise and Anthony moment and I want it on the show YALL. I need it. I honestly need more Anthony and his sibling interactions. Especially the ones that knew him before their father died. Who saw him change and are finally seeing their brother again after years of him locking himself away. Of course I want to see him with the younger siblings too (Fran, Gregory and Hyacinth). I just think that their relationship with him is very different to the older siblings.

I’ve honestly been thinking a lot about the role Benedict had to step into when his father died. Anthony had become consumed by protecting his family, leading them, keeping them safe. Anthony became the head of their family. Benedict? Became it’s heart. This OG tag team covered all the bases for their family whether they realised it or not. Anthony stepped into the role their father left behind and Benedict stepped into Anthony’s role. He got to be the older brother his siblings needed to navigate a life without the father they knew.

(I do hope this is explored or discussed in his season.)

I think about Anthony trying so hard to look after everyone, living his life for his family, a part of him constantly devastated at the idea that they might despise him. That they did not love him the way he did them. That he cared about them so much, it made it difficult to show them just how much he loved them. And Benedict, the softer one. I’m not saying that in a derogatory manner or suggesting Ben is less. Nope. I mean, the pressures were different. He filled in the role of caregiver his siblings needed. And that role is immense in itself. He had to navigate everyone’s own emotional minefield. He chose to be softer, kinder. He has the gift of seeing people as they are, what’s actually going on with them and telling them exactly what they need to hear. Anthony had to become a parent and became a steadfast fierce captain of the ship that is their family (very captain von Trapp there), in doing so, he kept most of them at arm’s length. To protect them, to protect himself. Imo, Benedict had to balance it out by being the brother his siblings felt they could confide in. Find solace in. It’s also why I think he was particularly miffed when Colin suggests Daphne likes him (Colin) better than she likes him (Benedict). Sorry Colin, but I don’t believe that for a second. Have you met Benny B? He’s a national treasure.

I truly love Benedict Bridgerton and I love the relationships he’s cultivated with all his siblings. The trust he commands. The respect. The friendships. How he is constantly teaching them but also learning for them and actually open to learning from them. I love his relationship with Eloise and the way they parallel it with Anthony and Daphne. The second son and the second daughter and the understanding they share. Second, not absolved from duty, not less, second. The roles they know they’re suppose to fill but feel like imposters in. The shared understanding of both their privilege or not being born first but the pitfalls to always being compared and the knowledge (and respect) that their struggles are different (gender being a huge difference). Not less. Different. Yet there is a common thread between them. The way their struggles with their identity align. Who they are outside of the roles they were born to play. The parallels between Anthony x Benedict and Daphne x Eloise are pretty awesome too. Honestly, I Iove watching their scenes. I wanna see Eloise leaning on her brothers, letting them in, watching her watch them accept her as she is. Despite her annoying (not at all actually) tendency to just be better at them at everything. Gosh I wanna see her beat them at shooting hahah. Part of me hopes that they will play up the fact that whatever Kate gets to explore, Eloise will too as she is Viscountess and with Anthony (and Violet) is responsible for the upbringing of his siblings and “launching of his sisters into society”. Since Anthony is not one to deny his wife the things she wants to learn and do, why would he stop his sisters from doing the same? You know? Like Kate challenges his held beliefs, the things society has ingrained in him to expect from women - (do not / not allowed to) and I like to think about Anthony taking that to heart and doing what he can within his capacity to ensure that his wife and all his sisters are not left at a disadvantage. (Privilege helps). He’s cared about societal beliefs because it’s directly tied to duty and carrying on the Bridgerton name. Directly tied to standing, favour and legacy. Directly tied to who he felt he had to be to look after his family and I don’t think that’s magically going to go away but I do think that wanting a life that suits them both, seeing his wife for exactly who she is and loving her for all of that opens him up to knowing that traditional ideas must be challenged and trying his best to ensure Kate and his sisters have the opportunities to be themselves. (After assessing the risks of course because let’s be real this is Anthony).

I do feel Benedict is the same. Or that he’s already there. Ahead of the pack in that sense.He sees Eloise for who she is becoming. Not for the lady she has to be but for who she actually is and it’s such a solid foundation to their relationship because she doesn’t have to explain herself with him. He doesn’t question a women’s right to do whatever she damn pleases especially if the reason not to is “polite societal values”. He sees Kate for who she is and legit celebrates each time she banters with his brother because watching Anthony meet his match is so delightful to him.

I also can’t wait to see all the Bridgertons remind Benedict to go for love during his season. To go for the thing he encourages everyone to pursue. To see in himself what they all see in him— love, light, beauty and joy. I should read his book, I got the gist but I do wanna see how the family supports him.

Also: I can’t wait to see Benny B and Eloise interact with Kate in her role as Viscountess and in her role as being the person Anthony came back to himself for.

This post started one way and went on a long journey where the point changed a couple of times. My apologies.

In summary: I have high hopes for Season 3 and I hope we don’t get let down. Read @ninzied’s fics. Kanthony has my heart, forever and always. Benedict Bridgerton is an incredible brother, amazing friend and lovely man. Eloise rocks my socks off.

[purecantarella]

All For You

i wanted to write a lisa imagine in honor of her AMAZING solo. kept me pumped up over the weekend HAHAAH i initially wanted to write a smut for her, but i couldn't do it for some reason this time round so yall are getting a short but sweet HHAHA

i'll try to write some more smutty fics but for now, fluff and angst for all of you! enjoy!

disclaimer/s : this is just fluff so i think yall are safe

It wasn't often that you were in a bad mood. After all, you were your group's happy pill and your fandom's ray of sunshine. You had a reputation and you liked sticking to that. But after a week of taking blow after blow from your company, you didn't feel like being the usual ray of sunshine you always were.

It hit harder when your mom got sick and you weren't permitted to see her because of time constraints with your comeback schedule.

You sat quietly in the leather seat of the recording studio, waiting for your turn in the booth. Mindlessly, your fingers tore away at one of the label's of your water bottle. Your members eyed you subtly, a wave of sadness flushing in each of them as you were so deflated.

After a while, you felt their gaze on you. You looked up at them, offering them a soft smile, but they knew better. How you felt could be masked with your small, tired, and forced smile. They knew the one person who could cheer you up, in fact she was in the building, but they knew that you would be livid if any of them told Lisa, your close friend, what was going on.

If you asked anyone, they'd say that you and Lisa were one of the cutest pairing in YG's company but at the same time both of you took your careers above one another. Despite that, there was always that pull that kept you both on each other's toes. You knew that you could rely on her and she could with you, but as she was in the thick of her promotion for her own solo so you never wanted to distract her like that.

Make no mistake though, you would love to have her by your side right now but you couldn't stop the feeling of guilt that began to creep inside you when you thought of disrupting her for your own selfish needs. Your other member walked out of the recording booth when your managers called you for lunch.

You brushed them off and with a half-hearted smile, "I'll just chill out here. Maybe practice the song..." You explained as you threw your cell onto the leather seat. The group's leader eyed you suspiciously. "I don't think I've seen you eat the past few days, N/n..."

The smile on your face tightened uncomfortably. "Just heavy midnight snacks, unnie! No need to worry, but you should all get something for lunch. I'll be here." You said rushing them out of the room despite all their questions and concerns.

When they didn't push further, you sighed a breath of relief and slid towards the mic in the booth. Sadly poking the base of the mic. You did your best to sing the parts you knew they needed for backing vocals but your heart just wasn't in it and you found yourself repeating the same lines over and over again. Leaving a frustrated pit in your stomach.

"As much as I love your voice there could be some variety in words." You tore the headset from your ears, letting it fall onto your neck at the familiar, teasing voice. From the back of the producing board stood a smiling, banged Thai woman who made your heart flutter in your chest, almost masking the disappointment that reigned there.

You stared briefly into her bright brown eyes, a brow quirked up on your face your gaze shooting to the floor. "You aren't supposed to be here, Lisa." You said making your way back to the main room, eyes not meeting hers. The dancer leaned up against the edge of the table, the same charming smile over her plump, pink lips. "Never stopped me before, N/n."

Her smile grew as she pushed herself off the table and made her way over to you. Your skin jumped as you felt her hand on your arm, like she always did when she missed you. You avoided eye contact, a heavy blush taking over your cheeks made Lisa smile even wider. "Y-You could've at least called, Lisa."

"I was going to but when I saw your members all leaving together without you, I thought I'd shoot my shot." She paused, her eyes staring into yours. "And I missed you."

Though you could feel yourself melting at the thought, but again you simply turned around not wanting her to see how broken you were. Lisa was always the first to tell, even as friends. Without sparing her a second look you said, "Your comeback is dropping soon, you shouldn't be here."

Lisa tilted her head to the side curiously, "Is that why you haven't looked at me the entire time, Y/n?" With her words, you stoped fiddling with the items in your bag. You bit the inner layer of your cheek, feeling her draw closer. You felt her hand over yours, the warmth from hers lighting a flame in your skin.

"I can tell your hiding something, you can tell me..." You stood there silent, still not daring to look at her. Her shoulders fell as she saw your defenses beginning to break slowly, your lower lip quivering ever so slightly. Despite her better judgement, Lisa took you hand in hers. "I will always make time for you, solo, comeback, or promotion, I'm here, okay?"

Wordlessly, you finally turned to face her completely, your head falling onto her shoulder. For a moment, you both stand there, magnets just gravitated towards one another. "I don't want to be a burden to you or anyone..." You whispered, voice breaking under all the pressure. Lisa wrapped her arms around your shoulders, wanting protecting you from everything that came your way as a sob cracked from your lips.

You began ranting about everything that had been going downhill lately. Your mom, the company, everything, while Lisa stood there, listening to your stories carefully. Once everything came to a stop, Lisa pulled away. Enough that she could see your swollen eyes and red nose to say, "It's all going to work out, alright?" She began wiping away the tears that stained your face. "In the morning, we're going to YG himself to talk about a break for you to take care of your mom, get all your healths back in tip-top shape, and we're going to get through this."

"'We're'?" You asked, a tiny smile taking over your lips. The most genuine that she'd seen all afternoon. Lisa brushed her lips over your nose delicately before placing her forehead over yours. "Like I'd let you stand up to YG-nim on your own, N/n." You giggled softly, leaning into Lisa's touch, eyes going soft.

"Thank you, Lili." Lisa's grin grew tenfold before pulling away. "I'll pick you up after work? We can watch a movie and order take-out. The L family's really starting to miss you." She asked shyly, a rosy blush coating her cheeks. You leaned up and pecked her cheek gently.

"See you at 6, Lalisa." She rolled her eyes as you giggled softly, your smile slowly returning. Lisa opened the door but took one more look at you, warmth and love running rampant in her stomach and chest.

She'd do everything and anything for you. Whether either of you knew it, it was always all for you.

i did thoroughly enjoy writing that, i hope you all enjoyed reading it! i'm working hard to get back on a steady schedule but also my classes are going to start on October 18th so i'm going to have to do A LOT of adjusting

anyway, remember that requests are open and criticism and comments are completely welcomed 💓stay safe, see you all soon, and i love you all very much

stream lalisa yall❣️