#i’m waiting for season two to be finished

[theonottsbxtch]

I LOVED YOU FIRST PT3 | FC43

part one | part two |

an: this is the most requested part three. i fell asleep so many times writing this but i’m waiting for tate’s new song so it gave me something to do. not proof read.

wc: 8.3k

It was nearly dawn when Franco turned off the engine, but the silence felt hollow. He sat motionless in the cockpit of his car, his hands still gripping the wheel even though he had finished his lap over an hour ago. The empty track stretched before him, a stark grey line splitting the waking sky, and for a fleeting moment, he considered taking off down it one more time, just for the noise.

That had been the only reason he'd even bothered coming out this morning. Noise. Anything loud enough to cut through the thick numbness that had settled over his life the last two years. Even racing—his childhood dream, his only real thrill—felt distant, just another repetition in an endless loop of things he used to care about.

He let go of the wheel, his fingers stiff and aching, and slumped back into his seat. The inside of the car still smelled new, though he’d driven this car all season. But everything in his life felt new in the wrong way, like he was breaking in someone else's skin.

Franco closed his eyes, but there was no escape there either. As much as he tried to avoid it, the image still came easily: two years ago, his wedding day. The hushed gasp of the guests as he had walked back down the aisle alone, the weight of his father-in-law’s hand on his shoulder. And her eyes—his childhood best friend, his first love, his confession to her still raw in his throat. He'd bared his heart, thought he was finally doing the right thing, only to watch her turn him down, her gaze steady and unwavering.

It was strange how clearly he could remember it. She had moved on. He was too late.

And yet here he was, two years later, sitting in the emptiness his choices had carved out. His marriage was the result of the aftermath—inevitable, unstoppable, once her father had coerced him into making it right. He’d been a fool to think he could live with it, that he could somehow build a life out of that hollowed-out choice. But every day he woke up, and every day it was the same. A stranger beside him, a public charade. He was trapped in a marriage more binding than he had ever imagined, one that had closed off any other life he might have had.

A tap on the side of the car startled him out of his thoughts. His agent, Eddie, looked at him expectantly, his face creased with concern. Franco forced himself to meet his gaze, pulling on a blank expression he’d perfected over the last two years.

"You good, man?" Eddie's voice sounded so distant for some reason.

Franco forced a nod. “Just getting in some practice.”

Eddie raised an eyebrow. "You finished over an hour ago."

Franco shrugged, not offering any other excuse. What could he say? That he no longer felt the rush, that even the raw thrill of racing at 200 miles per hour left him feeling nothing? It would be admitting too much. He wasn’t sure he could handle what Eddie would say if he knew.

As he finally climbed out of the car, his gaze drifted toward the track, that endless stretch of asphalt, and for just a second, he felt a flicker of what it used to mean to him. Freedom, purpose, maybe even love. But that had been before her—before he had thrown it all away, thinking he could have her back. And now all he was left with was this: the shadow of a life he hadn’t chosen, the memory of a love that had been real once, and a future he couldn’t bring himself to face.

Franco shook his head, stuffing the thought away. "Let’s just get through today" he muttered to himself, the words a quiet vow.

Tomorrow, he’d put on the act again.

The house was silent when Franco walked in. He closed the door softly, slipping off his shoes out of habit rather than any real desire to keep the peace. She was there, sitting in the dimly lit living room, curled on one end of the couch with her legs tucked under her. A book lay open on her lap, though her eyes weren’t moving over the words.

They hadn’t spoken much in days, maybe even weeks, except for the occasional small-talk exchange over morning coffee or at some public event. When they were alone, it was as if they were two strangers who’d agreed on a routine. She looked up as he walked in, and he wondered if she was waiting for him to speak first.

But he didn’t. He simply nodded, moving past her as if it were just another evening in this quiet, loveless house. He heard her shift, a quick intake of breath, and he paused, feeling her eyes on his back.

“I cheated,” she said, her voice flat, almost as if it were a statement she’d practised a thousand times, something she needed to let out before it grew stale.

Franco slowly turned to face her, letting the words settle, though he didn’t feel anything sharp or raw. Instead, there was just the dull, familiar weight of something like resignation. He studied her face, waiting for the anger or betrayal to come, but there was nothing. Just the same emptiness that had been there for two years.

“Okay,” he said, his voice calm, resigned.

She blinked, her expression faltering. “Okay?” she repeated, as if she hadn’t expected that response. Her brow furrowed, and she set her book aside, sitting up straighter. “That’s it? Just… okay?”

He shrugged, slipping his hands into his pockets. “What do you want me to do about it? You’ve already done it.”

She searched his face, a flicker of frustration and hurt sparking in her eyes. “Why aren’t you angry, Franco?” Her voice was louder now, cracking slightly. “Why don’t you care? Why don’t you… love me? What did I do wrong?”

For the first time that evening, he felt something stir. Not anger, exactly, but a kind of distant ache. He looked at her—really looked at her—and saw the exhaustion in her face, the years of pretending, of building a life on a foundation that had never been real. And he knew, somehow, that she felt as trapped as he did.

“This isn’t about what you did wrong,” he said quietly. “I just… I don’t have it in me to love you, not in the way you want.”

She shook her head, her eyes brimming with frustration. “But we were supposed to be in this together. My father… Your team. The whole world expects it. I have tried, Franco. I’ve done everything I could to make this work. I just wanted you to see me, to try…”

He sighed, looking away. “We’ve been pretending for two years. It’s not that I haven’t seen you—I just don’t think we were ever meant to see each other this way.”

Her shoulders slumped, the fight draining out of her. She stared at her hands, twisted together in her lap. “So what now? We just keep living like this, sharing the same house, putting on a show for everyone?”

Franco didn’t have an answer for her. He didn’t know what they were supposed to do, what the next step would even look like. They were bound together by more than their vows—by the expectations, the pressure, the image of a life neither of them had chosen. He knew she deserved better than this emptiness, the hollow echo of what might have been.

After a moment, he sat down across from her, resting his elbows on his knees, his voice barely more than a whisper. “What do you want from me?”

She looked away, biting her lip, and for the first time he saw the loneliness in her eyes. "I don’t know," she murmured, her voice quiet. "I don’t know if I ever knew."

She looked down, fidgeting with the hem of her sweater, and then let out a long, quiet breath. "I’ll speak to my father," she said, her voice steady. “We’ll break it off. There’s… someone else. For me, I mean.”

Franco nodded, feeling only a strange sort of relief. “Okay.”

She gave a small, sad smile, as if she’d expected more—anger, maybe, or regret. “I’ll make sure he keeps the sponsors on your team,” she added, her voice softening. “It’s the least I can do.”

Franco shook his head. “He doesn’t have to. I don’t want you worrying about that.”

For a moment, she looked at him with something almost like sympathy. “Franco… it’s not your fault,” she said.

He frowned slightly, unsure what she meant. “What isn’t?”

She looked away, gathering her thoughts, and then back at him, her gaze unwavering. “It’s not your fault you still love her after all these years. Some things… they just don’t go away.”

His throat tightened, and he couldn’t find the words to respond. Her words hung between them, exposing something he’d tried to bury, something he hadn’t even admitted to himself. His silence was answer enough.

“She was a very lovely woman when I met her,” she continued, her voice softer, almost wistful. “I’m sure she hasn’t changed. I’m sure you two would be perfect together.”

He looked down, swallowing the ache in his chest. For all their distance, she’d seen more of him than he’d realised, even if they had never truly belonged to each other. Maybe she’d known all along. Maybe that’s why they’d been drifting from the beginning, like two people playing their parts, waiting for the script to finally run out.

He stood up, running a hand over the back of his neck, his voice low. “I’ll sleep in the guest room tonight.”

She nodded, her eyes full of an understanding that somehow made this harder. “Okay. Goodnight, Franco.”

He gave her a brief nod, then turned and headed down the hall, his footsteps soft against the hardwood. The walls of the house felt like a cage, closing in with every step, but he knew that maybe, for the first time, there was a way out—for both of them.

Franco closed the door to the guest room, feeling the weight of everything settling over him. He felt like a visitor in his own life, just as he had every day for the past two years. He slipped off his watch, set it on the nightstand, and reached for his phone to set an alarm.

Just as he did, his mother’s name lit up the screen. She called him every night, their routine barely wavering since he’d left home all those years ago to chase his dream. He answered, feeling a bit of the tension ease from his shoulders.

“Hey, Mama.”

“Oh, finally, you picked up! I thought I’d missed you tonight, hijo.” she said, her voice bright and warm, filling the room with a bit of comfort he hadn’t known he needed.

“Sorry. It’s been… a long day,” he replied, not sure where to start even if he’d wanted to.

“Oh, mi amor, I’m sorry to hear that,” she said, sympathy lacing her voice. She paused, her tone shifting to something lighter. “Well, you’ll never guess who I ran into today.”

He smiled slightly, settling back against the pillows. “Knowing you, mama, it could be anyone.”

“You flatter me,” she laughed. “But no, this one you’ll want to hear. I ran into your chiquita's mama at the market this morning.”

At the mention of his childhood best friend, Franco’s heart gave a small, involuntary jolt. He kept his voice casual, though he could feel his pulse quicken. “Oh yeah?”

“Guess who’s moving back home?” she said, her voice bright with excitement. “She’s coming back without that boyfriend of hers—what was his name, Angelo or something? Anyway, I don’t know what happened there, but her mama didn’t say much, just that she’ll be moving back in soon.”

Franco fell silent, her words sinking in. She was moving back. Back to the same town, back to where they’d both grown up. It was strange hearing it now, after all this time—especially tonight. He tried to imagine her there, close by, after years of being nothing more than a memory, a lingering ache. She hadn’t been in touch since his wedding. They hadn’t spoken, not really, since that day he’d confessed everything.

“Franco?” his mother asked, her voice pulling him back. “You still there?”

“Yeah,” he murmured. “Yeah, I’m here. Just… surprised, I guess.”

“Well, I thought you’d be pleased to know,” she said gently. “I don’t know why she’s moving back, and I suppose it’s none of my business, but I hope she’s doing alright. I always liked that girl.”

“Me too,” he said, his voice barely more than a whisper.

He wondered what could have happened to bring her back. She’d seemed happy, at least in the few times he’d seen her in the public eye over the last two years—smiling, vibrant, that spark still in her. Whatever had drawn her back, he doubted it was anything good.

“Anyway, I just thought I’d tell you,” his mother went on, a hint of cheer in her voice. “I’m sure you’ll see her around when she’s back. Goodness knows you two could catch up. I’ll let you get some sleep, though. You sound tired, love.”

“I am,” he said honestly. “Thanks, mama.”

“Goodnight, mi amor,” she said softly. “Try not to worry so much. Things have a way of working out.”

He hung up, setting the phone down on the nightstand, but his mind kept circling back to her, the unanswered questions piling up. Why was she moving home? Why now, after everything?

He lay back, staring at the ceiling, feeling the quiet gnaw at him. For the first time in a long while, he felt something stirring beneath the emptiness—something that he hadn’t let himself feel since that day two years ago. A flicker of hope, of curiosity. And maybe, just maybe, the faintest hint of longing.

Franco woke up to an unsettling silence the following morning. The kind that felt thick, heavy, and somehow different from the usual quiet he’d grown accustomed to in this house. He rubbed his eyes, groggy, his mind still tangled in the remnants of last night’s conversation with his mother. She was moving back home. The thought had settled somewhere deep, like a stone sinking to the bottom of his chest, and he hadn’t stopped wondering why she’d come back.

He rose slowly, crossing the hall toward the master bedroom to grab his things, but as he reached the door, he noticed it was open just a crack. There was an odd stillness inside, an emptiness. Pushing the door open fully, he froze.

The wardrobes were wide open, their shelves bare, nothing left but empty hangers. He scanned the room, taking in the strange absence of her things: the jewellery stand, her perfumes, even the photos from the dresser—all gone.

On the bed, her wedding band glinted in the morning light, sitting atop a folded sheet of paper. Heart pounding, Franco walked over and picked up the note, her familiar handwriting scrawled across the page in clean, deliberate strokes.

"Go live a life you’ll enjoy. Go get the girl."

He read the words over and over, the reality slowly sinking in. She had really left. It was over, finally—no more strained conversations, no more pretences, no more empty rooms they shared out of duty. She had made the choice for both of them, letting him go in a way neither of them had been able to until now.

He let out a slow, deep breath, feeling a strange mixture of relief and regret. She had given him a way out, but he felt a twinge of sadness for the life they’d tried and failed to build, and for the woman who’d known him well enough to let him go.

After a moment, he picked up his phone and scrolled to his agent’s number. It rang twice before Eddie answered, his voice thick with sleep.

“Franco? It’s barely morning. You okay?”

Franco ran a hand through his hair, still processing everything. “Yeah. Listen, Eddie, I need you to book me a flight.”

“A flight? Where are you going?”

“Home. To Argentina.” He paused, and for the first time in two years, the words felt right. “I just need to go home.”

Eddie hesitated on the other end. “You sure about this?”

“Yes. I’ll figure everything out when I get there,” Franco replied, feeling a resolve he hadn’t felt in years.

Eddie sighed, but there was something like approval in his voice. “Alright, I’ll get it sorted. You’ll be on a plane by tonight.”

“Thank you, Eddie.” Franco hung up, glancing around the room one last time. He pocketed her note, her words still echoing in his mind.

True to Eddie's word, Franco was on a flight six hours later. The journey was a blur of cramped seats, stale air, and the faint taste of regret that clung to the back of his throat. The turbulence was relentless, like some cosmic joke, as if the universe itself wanted to remind him that nothing had ever been easy. He tried to sleep, but the aching pull of everything he’d left behind in that house—his marriage, his choices, his dreams—kept him awake, staring out at the dark sky, thinking of all the roads that had led him here.

By the time he landed in Buenos Aires and caught a car for the long drive north to his family's old village, the exhaustion had crept under his skin, weighing him down like a thousand unspoken words. But the quiet beauty of the countryside—the sun setting over fields that stretched on forever—started to soothe him, even if just a little.

The car ride seemed endless, every minute dragging with the weight of his thoughts. But when the familiar sight of his family’s village finally came into view—cobblestone streets, thatched roofs, the scent of freshly baked bread hanging in the air—something inside Franco began to shift. The city felt miles away, the noise, the crowds, the weight of his past life all falling away as he crossed into the place that had always felt like home.

The moment he stepped through the door of his childhood house, all of that exhaustion seemed to vanish. The house was exactly as he remembered it—warm, full of life, and alive with the kind of energy he hadn't felt in so long. His mother’s soft humming from the kitchen filled the air, the scent of her cooking familiar and comforting in a way nothing else ever had been.

“Mama?” he called, stepping into the kitchen.

She looked up from the stove, a warm smile spreading across her face as she caught sight of him. It was like the years had slipped away in an instant, and before he could even move, she was across the room, enveloping him in her arms.

“Oh, hijo,” she said, pulling him in tight. “You’re home. You’re really home.”

Franco closed his eyes for a moment, inhaling the comforting smells of garlic and simmering stew. It was the same as it had always been. His mother’s embrace felt like a balm, her steady, familiar presence filling up the spaces in his chest that had been empty for so long. He let himself relax into the hug, feeling like he could finally breathe again.

“Yeah, mama,” he murmured, his voice thick with emotion. “I’m home.”

She pulled back, looking at him with concern now, her gaze soft but knowing. “You look like you’ve been through a storm. What happened, Franco?”

He shook his head, a slight smile tugging at his lips. “It’s… been a hot minute.”

She stepped back, eyes still lingering on him as she turned toward the counter, gesturing for him to sit. "Come, sit. You must be starving."

As he slid into the chair at the table, his mother’s eyes flickered to his left hand, where the ring had once sat. The absence of it didn’t go unnoticed.

"Franco," she said softly, her voice delicate but insistent, “Where’s your wedding ring?”

He froze, his fingers absentmindedly tracing the spot where the band had once been. The question hit him harder than he expected, like a weight on his chest.

He took a deep breath, his words coming out slow, almost reluctant. "I… I never loved her, Mama. Not like I should’ve. Not like I should’ve loved the person I married."

His mother didn’t flinch, didn’t offer a shocked look or try to comfort him with false reassurances. Instead, she simply nodded, as if she had known all along. The silence between them was calm, understanding.

"I knew," she said, her voice gentle but firm. "I knew from the start, Franco. I could see it. You were never... you were never right with her."

He exhaled, a small weight lifting from his chest. His mother didn’t judge him. She hadn’t expected him to make some fairy tale of a marriage. She had always known him better than anyone.

"Why didn’t you say something?" he asked, the question slipping out before he could stop it.

She smiled softly, her hand brushing his cheek. "You had to learn it on your own, cariño. I couldn’t take that from you."

He sat back in his chair, letting her words sink in. This was home. The quiet understanding, the unconditional love. The very things he had been running from for so long. And now, in this moment, he felt like he was finally allowed to come back to it.

His mother leaned in, brushing the hair from his forehead as if he were still that little boy who had left for the big city years ago. "You’ll be alright, Franco. I know you will. You always find your way back."

He smiled, his heart full, and reached across the table to squeeze her hand. "Thanks, Mama," he said, his voice thick with emotion. "I think I’m ready to find it now."

His mother studied him for a moment, as if weighing whether to say more. The comfortable silence stretched between them before she finally spoke, her voice casual, but with a slight undercurrent of something he couldn’t quite place.

“You know, she moved back this morning,” she said, a soft note of curiosity in her tone.

Franco looked up sharply, his stomach tightening at the mention of her. “She did?”

His mother nodded, stirring a pot on the stove. He shifted in his seat, trying to steady the flutter of emotions that were beginning to rise in his chest. She was back. The thought of her living just next door made his heart ache in ways he wasn’t prepared for, especially after everything that had happened. It felt like a sign, but it also felt like a question—one he didn’t know if he was ready to answer.

“I don’t know what’s happened,” he said, the words coming out quieter than he intended. “But I’m sure it’s for the best. She’s probably just trying to figure things out.”

His mother gave him a thoughtful look before turning back to the stove. "It’s not easy, you know. Coming back here after all those years. Maybe she just needs some time. Things haven't been easy for her, either."

Franco nodded absently, his mind already racing, a thousand thoughts flooding his mind. He’d always wondered what it would be like if they were close again—if the years between them could just vanish, and they could pick up where they left off. But that was before everything had changed.

Before he’d made a mess of everything.

“I’ll give her space,” he said after a long pause. “She clearly needs it if she’s come back home. I don’t want to crowd her, not like this.”

His mother looked at him for a long moment, her gaze soft and full of the kind of love only a mother could offer. She didn’t press, but Franco could tell she was seeing more in him than he was letting on. She always had that way of reading him, even when he didn’t want to be read.

“I think that’s wise, Franco,” she said quietly. “But don’t wait too long. Sometimes, the right things—people—can slip away if we don’t take the chance when we can.” She gave him a small smile, her eyes gentle but full of a mother’s wisdom. “Don’t make the same mistake twice.”

He swallowed hard, looking down at his hands. The right things... people. Was she talking about her?

He wasn’t sure. What he was sure of was that he had already lost so much—lost the girl he had once called his best friend. His true love. That much was clear.

But he couldn’t make the same mistake again. Not with her. Not now.

“Yeah,” he said, his voice hoarse. “I won’t. I’ll give her the time she needs… and then, I’ll figure out what comes next.” He forced a small smile, looking back up at her. “But first, I think I need to settle in here, Mama. Just for a bit.”

She smiled warmly at him, nodding as she moved to set the table. “Take your time, cariño. You’ve earned it.” Then she added softly, almost to herself, “And when you’re ready, you know where she is.”

Franco nodded, the weight of her words hanging in the air like a promise he wasn’t sure he was ready to make. He had to sort through the years of distance, the pain, the confusion, and the mess he had made before he could even think of approaching her again.

That night the house was quiet as Franco prepared for bed, the kind of quiet that settled deep into the bones. The weight of the day’s emotions, of the journey—of everything—pressed on him like a physical force, but he couldn’t quite shake the feeling that something was still missing.

He stood in front of the mirror, his eyes scanning the reflection—a man who hadn’t truly looked at himself in a long time. His face was a little more worn, the years of racing and the strain of the past two had carved lines into his features. And yet, there was a boy in those eyes too—the one who used to laugh freely, who used to dream of more than just what life had given him.

He sighed, running a hand through his hair, the quiet ache of the past two years swirling in his chest again. Where did it all go wrong? He’d asked himself this so many times, but the answer had never been clear. His life had seemed like it was on track, until it suddenly wasn’t. Until it all came crashing down, leaving him here, in his childhood home, looking at a version of himself he didn’t recognise.

Where did it all go to shit?

He turned away from the mirror, needing a moment of peace, a change of scenery. The night air felt crisp as he stepped out onto the balcony, the soft night breeze brushing against his skin. The village was quiet, the distant sound of crickets filling the silence. The stars above him were impossibly bright, as if they had been waiting for him to step out into this space to show themselves.

For a moment, he just stood there, taking it all in. The vast sky, the deep silence, the comfort of being home, of being away from all the chaos of the life he’d left behind. He closed his eyes for a beat, letting himself breathe.

Then, he froze.

From across the yard, on the roof of the house next door, a figure was sitting—her silhouette outlined by the soft glow of the stars.

Franco didn’t know how long she’d been sitting there. The sight of her—after all these years—was like a jolt to the chest, a flood of old memories and emotions crashing over him.

At first, he considered turning back into the house, pretending he hadn’t seen her, pretending the universe wasn’t trying to push him into a conversation he wasn’t ready for. But his feet stayed rooted to the ground, his eyes locked on her figure, so familiar, so her. He hadn’t expected to see her tonight, especially not like this. Not sitting on the roof, in the same place they used to sit together as kids, watching the stars and talking about everything and nothing.

He had no idea how to approach her.

Before he could make up his mind, she spoke, her voice drifting through the night air, quiet but unmistakable. “Staring’s rude, you know.”

Franco’s breath caught in his throat, his chest tightening at the sound of her voice. It had been so long since he’d heard it, and yet it felt like no time had passed at all.

He stayed where he was, still unsure, a little frozen by the way his heart was racing. “I didn’t think you’d notice,” he finally said, his voice coming out quieter than he intended.

She tilted her head slightly, but didn’t look directly at him. “I always notice,” she replied, a faint smile playing on her lips, though her tone was more playful than anything else.

He let out a small laugh, a bit surprised by her nonchalance. It was just like her to act so casual, even in the middle of something heavy.

“I wasn’t planning to interrupt,” he added, his hands shoved deep into his pockets. "Just thought I'd leave you to it."

She didn’t respond right away, but he could see the way her gaze flickered toward him, though she didn’t move. After a beat, she spoke again, her voice quieter now. “You came home.”

“I did,” he said, his heart racing as he stood there, not knowing where to go from here. “Took me a while, but I’m here.”

She nodded, the soft rustle of her hair catching the starlight. "Good. I didn’t think you would."

Franco swallowed, the weight of the unspoken words hanging thick between them. "I... didn’t think I would either."

There was another pause, but it wasn’t uncomfortable. Just... heavy, in a way that felt like they were both waiting for something. Waiting for the moment when they could go back to being what they once were. But Franco knew, deep down, that it wasn’t going to be that simple. Too much had happened between them, too many years spent apart.

Her voice broke the quiet, her words soft but inviting. “There’s space next to me. You should come up here.”

Franco hesitated for a second longer, unsure, but something in her tone, a subtle pull, urged him forward. He glanced around briefly before deciding to take a chance.

Carefully, he climbed over the small stone wall dividing their balconies, his fingers finding familiar purchase as he pulled himself over. The moment his feet hit the roof, the memories of their childhood came rushing back—sitting on the very same roof, talking about everything and nothing, watching the stars as if they were the only two people in the world.

It felt surreal, like no time had passed at all, even though everything between them had changed.

She was already sitting cross-legged, her back turned slightly toward him, but she patted the spot next to her, silently urging him to join her. He moved toward her, then sat down, the cool roof beneath him grounding him in a way he hadn’t expected.

When he finally reached the top, she shifted to make room, and before he even fully settled beside her, she was resting her head on his shoulder. It was as natural as breathing, a comfort he hadn’t realised he’d been starved for.

The night seemed to stretch on forever as they sat together, not speaking, just sharing the same space, the same memories that lingered between them like a soft, delicate thread. It was as though the silence held all the things they couldn’t say out loud.

Finally, it was her who broke the quiet, her voice low and tinged with regret. “Sorry I never replied to your letter.”

Franco’s heart stuttered in his chest at the mention of the letter. He hadn’t expected her to bring it up, not after everything that had happened. Slowly, he turned his head to look at her, his voice barely a whisper. “You... you received it?”

She nodded slowly, lifting her head from his shoulder but not fully pulling away. She stared up at the stars, her fingers absentmindedly tracing shapes in the air. “Four days ago,” she said, her voice soft and distant, as though the words were hard to say.

Four days ago.

The words hit him like a punch to the gut. The letter. The letter he’d written years ago, before everything spiralled out of control, before the wedding, before he called it all off. The letter where he had laid bare his feelings for her—telling her everything he’d never had the courage to say before. Telling her that he loved her. That he’d leave his fiancé for her. That he wanted to be with her.

The letter had been the final step, the desperate confession that he couldn’t hold inside any longer.

“I… I didn’t know,” Franco muttered, his throat tight. “I sent it because I thought you needed to know. I thought you needed to hear it.” He paused, looking down at his hands. “I didn’t expect you to just—ignore it.”

Her breath hitched slightly, and she looked over at him, her eyes meeting his with an intensity that made him ache. “I didn’t ignore it,” she said softly. “I didn’t know about it. Angelo hid it from me.”

Franco froze. Angelo. The same guy she’d been with all those years, the one who had kept the letter from her. The weight of it hit him hard, a cold knot in his stomach. “He hid it?” His voice barely came out above a whisper.

She nodded, her eyes not leaving his. “I only found it four days ago when I was packing.” She paused, as though weighing whether or not to say more, then sighed. “He kept it from me, Franco. Told me it was nothing, just some silly thing from the past. But it wasn’t nothing. It was you. It was everything you were trying to say. And I didn’t even know until hours before your wedding.”

Franco could feel his chest tighten, the words he had written, the words that had been locked inside of him for so long, echoing in the space between them. He had no idea she’d never received it. No idea she had been living in that oblivion, thinking that nothing had changed when, in reality, everything had been laid out for her years ago.

Franco closed his eyes, the weight of her words settling over him. His entire life had been built around the lies he’d told himself, and in the end, he had only hurt the one person who had always been there for him.

When he opened his eyes again, he was staring at the sky, the stars so far away. “I never stopped loving you,” he said quietly, the confession falling from his lips before he could stop it. “I never stopped thinking about you, even when I thought I should. Even when I tried to move on, I always... always thought about you. About Monza.”

Her voice was soft but steady, a quiet confession in the night air. “I shouldn’t have come to that wedding,” she said, her words hanging in the space between them like a breath held too long.

Franco blinked, his heart stuttering slightly in his chest as he turned to look at her. “Why?”

She sighed, her eyes focused on the distant horizon, her expression unreadable in the soft glow of the moon. “Because I thought I was over you, Franco. I really did. I thought that seeing you get married to someone else, someone who wasn’t me, would help me move on. But when I watched you declare your love for me in front of everyone... it hit me all at once. I felt like I was coasting through a lie with Angelo for two years.”

Franco’s chest tightened at the mention of Angelo again, but he didn’t interrupt. He knew this was something that had been simmering beneath the surface for a long time, something they had never really spoken about. She took a slow breath, her fingers playing with the hem of her shirt as she spoke again.

“I couldn’t give him all of me,” she continued, her voice wavering for the first time, just the slightest crack in her calm demeanour. “When you still had half my heart.”

Franco felt a lump form in his throat at her words. She still loved him. Despite everything, despite the time apart, despite the man she had been with, a part of her had never truly moved on.

He didn’t know what to say. He couldn’t find the right words to express the swirl of emotions inside him. The guilt, the confusion, the longing. All he could do was listen, his heart aching with each word she spoke.

“Amor…” His voice faltered, and he cleared his throat, trying to find his grounding. “She cheated on me. My wife.” He added as though she needed clarification.

Her head jerked up, her eyes wide with surprise, but she said nothing. She waited for him to continue, her breath catching in her throat.

Franco stared out at the stars, his voice barely more than a whisper. “I didn’t feel much at first. I think I expected it. In some way, I always did. I’d been living in a marriage where I wasn’t really present for a long time.” He paused, his eyes distant as he recalled the feeling of his world unravelling. “But... when I found out, I couldn’t feel anything. It was like I had already shut myself off from it all.”

She studied him, her gaze soft but piercing. “Really? You didn’t feel... anything?”

Franco’s heart twisted, “I felt guilty,” he admitted, his voice low. "I didn’t feel hurt or anger. I just felt... guilty."

She frowned, the confusion and concern evident in her eyes. “Guilty? Why? You didn’t cheat. You weren’t the one betraying her.”

Franco chuckled bitterly, a hollow sound that felt foreign to him. “No, I didn’t cheat. But I’ve been mentally cheating on her for years now.” His voice cracked slightly, the admission slipping out before he could stop it. “With you. I’ve been thinking about you. Wanting you. Wondering... what could have been.”

Her breath caught in her throat, and she stared at him for a long moment, the weight of his confession hanging between them like an invisible force. The air was thick, heavy with the things they hadn’t said, the things they had both buried for too long.

For a moment, neither of them spoke. The only sound was the distant rustle of the trees, the wind whispering through the leaves. Then, she shifted slightly, her fingers brushing against his, tentative, like she wasn’t sure if it was okay to reach out. But Franco didn’t pull away. He let her fingers weave through his, and for a moment, they were back to the way they used to be—close, without words, just a connection that had never truly faded.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered, her voice breaking the silence again. “I didn’t mean to make things more complicated for you. I never wanted you to feel guilty.”

Franco shook his head, his fingers tightening around hers. “You didn’t. It’s my fault. I should’ve been honest with myself. With you. With everyone.”

Her hand found his, her grip soft but reassuring. “We can’t undo the past, Franco. But maybe... maybe we can stop running from it.” She looked up at him, her eyes searching his face for something—maybe a sign that they were on the same page, that this wasn’t just a momentary lapse, but the beginning of something else.

Franco’s heart skipped a beat. The ache inside him—this pull, this longing—felt more real now than it ever had before. But he couldn’t let himself get lost in it. Not yet. Not before he figured out what came next.

“Maybe,” he whispered, his voice thick with emotion. “Maybe we can.”

But for now, they stayed there, hand in hand, watching the stars as the night stretched on—together, but not quite ready to bridge the distance between them. The future was uncertain, but in that moment, with her close to him again, it felt like the possibility of a new beginning was still there.

And maybe that was enough.

She shifted slightly, pulling her knees closer to her chest as she stared up at the night sky, the stars scattered above them like little pieces of a puzzle they couldn’t quite put together. Her voice broke the quiet again, this time more introspective, tinged with a kind of sadness that Franco couldn’t shake. “Why are we like this?” she asked softly, the question hanging in the air between them. “Why can’t we ever get it right? Why does it feel like we keep missing each other?”

Franco felt a lump form in his throat as he turned his head to look at her. He had no answer. No easy explanation for the years of missed opportunities, the broken promises, the things left unsaid. All he could do was let the silence stretch for a moment before he spoke, his voice thick with regret.

“I don’t deserve you,” he said, his words barely audible, but full of the weight of everything he had kept buried for so long.

Her hand tightened around his, her fingers warm and steady against his skin. She didn’t look at him immediately. She just stared at the stars, letting the night take them both in. But when she did speak, her voice was clear, almost a little too sharp, as if she were trying to distance herself from the ache inside.

“I know,” she said, her words simple, yet filled with the unspoken truth between them.

Franco exhaled slowly, his chest tight with the unrelenting guilt that seemed to follow him wherever he went. “I really don’t,” he added, his tone heavier this time, the words more raw, like they were scraping against his very soul.

She turned her head slightly, her eyes soft but steady as she met his gaze. “But you’ll always have me anyway,” she said, her voice gentle, almost a whisper, but strong in its promise. “All of me. Even if you think you don’t deserve it, even if you feel like you’ve lost me, I’m still here. I always will be.”

Franco closed his eyes, his heart pounding in his chest. He wanted to believe her. He wanted to reach out and pull her into him, to hold on to the promise she was offering, but he knew that he had to fix everything first. He had to prove to himself, to her, that he was worthy.

After a long moment, his mind shifted, a question bubbling up to the surface, something that had been nagging at him for a while now. “What happened to Angelo?” he asked, his voice quiet, but urgent with curiosity.

Her gaze flickered away, her expression becoming unreadable for a brief second. She didn’t speak at first, but then, she sighed, her voice small as she turned her head back toward the night sky.

“He proposed,” she said softly, her words hitting Franco like a punch to the gut. “He got down on one knee, right there in the middle of a restaurant, and asked me to marry him.”

Franco’s heart sank. He had imagined the two of them together, but hearing her speak those words, hearing the finality in her tone, made something inside him shift. His breath caught in his throat.

“And you didn’t say yes,” he whispered, the realisation washing over him slowly, painfully.

She shook her head, her fingers grazing the edge of her sleeve as she gathered her thoughts. “I couldn’t bring myself to say yes,” she murmured, her voice distant, like the memory still held weight over her. “I couldn’t lie to him, and I couldn’t lie to myself anymore. Not after everything. I just... I couldn’t. And when I looked at him, I knew something wasn’t right. I knew that the whole time, I had been lying to both of us, pretending that he was enough when I wasn’t even sure of myself.”

Franco felt his chest tighten, his heart aching with understanding. “I’m sorry,” he said, the words tumbling out before he could stop them. He wasn’t sure if he was apologising for Angelo, for her, or for himself, but it felt like the right thing to say. “I’m sorry for everything.”

She didn’t respond right away. She just sat there beside him, her head back on his shoulder, her fingers still twined with his. The night stretched on, both of them lost in their own thoughts, but there was something in the air that felt different now. It wasn’t just the weight of their shared history or the unsaid words that hovered between them. There was something else.

Something that, for the first time, felt like the beginning of something new.

After a while, she spoke again, her voice barely audible. “I never wanted to hurt him. But I couldn’t pretend anymore. Not when you’re still here, not when you’ve always been here, Franco.”

Franco closed his eyes, his fingers tracing the curve of her hand. “I understand,” he whispered, though he wasn’t sure if he did. He wasn’t sure of anything right now except that he needed to make it right—whatever that looked like.

They stayed like that for what felt like hours, the quiet stretching between them, neither of them in a rush to break the stillness. The night air was cool against their skin, and the stars above seemed to twinkle with the same quiet understanding that hung in the air. For the first time in years, it felt like they were both exactly where they were meant to be—together.

But slowly, the rhythm of her breathing changed, softening, slowing. Franco felt it before he saw it, the gentle shift in the weight on his shoulder. He glanced down, his heart softening at the sight of her—her lashes fluttering closed, her face serene and peaceful in sleep. She was completely relaxed, as if the weight of everything had been lifted, even if just for a moment.

He didn’t move, didn’t want to disturb the quiet that had settled between them. But as minutes ticked by, he knew it was time to move her. Carefully, he slipped his arm beneath her, lifting her gently, cradling her close. Her head rested on his chest as he stood, her body instinctively curling against him. She felt weightless in his arms, and for a second, he couldn’t believe how natural it all felt.

As he carried her through the door to her room, the familiar smell of her childhood home wrapped around him—the scent of lavender and old wood, a place both foreign and intimately familiar. The room was just as he remembered, simple and cosy, with little traces of her scattered throughout. He looked down at the floor he used to sleep on when they were young The soft, pale light of the moon filtered through the window, casting everything in a gentle glow.

He placed her gently in the bed, tucking the covers around her small frame. For a moment, he just stood there, watching her, his chest heavy with emotion. Everything about this felt so right, so painfully wrong at the same time. He should have been here years ago. He should have never let things get so far. But now, he was here. And he wasn’t going anywhere.

He leaned down, brushing a strand of hair away from her face before pressing a gentle kiss to her forehead. His lips lingered there for a second longer than he meant to, his heart aching with all the things he never said.

Just as he turned to leave, to head back to his own house, her voice stopped him.

“Don’t.”

Franco froze. His hand rested on the window frame , his heart stalling in his chest. He turned slowly, not sure if he had heard her correctly.

“What?” he asked, his voice quiet, almost unsure.

She looked up at him, her eyes still heavy with sleep, but there was something in her gaze—vulnerable, raw, but full of longing. “Don’t go,” she whispered, her voice thick with emotion. “I can’t watch you walk away again. Please don’t.”

For a moment, Franco stood there, his chest tight as he processed her words. Don’t go. It was all he needed to hear. She didn’t want him to leave. After everything that had happened, after all the distance between them, she still wanted him here.

He walked back toward the bed, his movements slow and deliberate. He didn’t need to say anything; the weight of the moment, the look in her eyes, said it all. He carefully slid under the covers, settling beside her, the warmth of her body so familiar yet so new.

Without a word, she shifted, curling into him, her head finding its place on his chest, her hand resting gently against his side. Franco wrapped his arm around her, pulling her close, and for the first time in a long time, he felt at peace. It wasn’t a perfect moment, but it was real. And it was theirs.

They stayed there, the rhythm of their breathing slowly syncing, the quiet of the night wrapping around them. No more words were needed. No more distance. Just the two of them, together, holding on to each other like they were afraid to let go.

And as they drifted off to sleep, tangled together beneath the covers, Franco realised that this moment—this feeling of being home—was everything he had been searching for.

Home.

Her.

It was all synonymous.

She was his home.

the end.

taglist: @sp1rl @yennasaurusrex @ellen3101 @firefirevampire @directioner5life @littlegrapejuice @obxstiles @scopeiguess @newlifeforus @justsisse @zestytimbit @taygrls @charlosvibesonly @sparkleofpizza

[strawberrykidneystone]

whole again

summary: sevika didn’t feel whole without her arm and it bubbles up when jinx gifts her a new one.

a/n: i need the rest of season 2 rn RAHHHH

tags: insecurity of lost limb, angst/comfort, fluff, married!wife!reader, kissing

ao3 version

thank you for the request anon!!!

sevika wasn't expecting to fight with smeech today, but she also wasn't expecting to see jinx in silco's office either. one thing she could always expect was her wife waiting for her at home, the only thing driving her to keep walking instead of collapsing from exhaustion in the middle of the street.

after sevika slumped through your shared house's front door, you were quick to guide her to a chair in your kitchen to take care of her as you usually did when she came home from any sort of fight she was injured in while she was on duty. thankfully, she didn't have any injuries this time, but she did have bright green disgusting goo all over her body. god it was going to take forever to scrub out of her clothes.

wiping sevika’s face off with a warm rag to get the disgusting green goo off of her beautiful face, she looked so peaceful having her beautiful wife take care of her. following her fight with smeech, she came straight home after dropping jinx and isha off at a safe house, eager to get home to you. you didn’t care to ask if the goo was residue from her new arm or smeech, either way, you knew that you wouldn’t like the answer.

she recounted all the details of the fight, a soft fondness in her voice when talking about the two younger girls that she would deny if you pointed it out. she smiled up at you as she continued talking, the adorable gap between her teeth showing as she finished her story.

now that she had her girl with her and a new arm, what more could a woman need?

after her face was completely clean of the sticky green substance, you smothered her face in kisses with a loud ‘mwah’ after each one. her face scrunched up initially in slight annoyance, but she couldn’t help the chuckle bubbling from her chest after the first few. glancing her body over, you nodded to yourself as you saw no external injuries or damage to her clothing. while you were distracted, she wrapped her flesh arm around your waist and pulled you onto her lap with your legs hanging off of her thighs, a surprised squeal leaving your lips.

curiously, you inspected her new arm with a grin, it definitely had jinx’s handiwork all over it.

“like my new arm baby?” she inquired with a half smirk as she bent it in half for you to admire, the dinosaur-like head of the arm proudly sticking in the air.

“well it’s was very obviously made by jinx i’ll give her that much, but i like the speakers,” you said truthfully as you ran your fingers down her arm, careful not to set anything off my accident. the head of the arm reminded you of jinx’s bombs and you had to resist the urge to pull the level on her shoulder. it was truly an impressive weapon to say the least, although it definitely didn't match the usual muted tones that your wife wore.

she groaned and rolled her eyes, dragging her flesh hand down her face in clear annoyance, “did i mention that fireworks went off when the bastard died?”

you gawked and sputtered out a laugh, “no you didn’t! that’s so cool!”

she hummed a sarcastic 'uh huh' and kissed the side of your head, “i’ll probably have her tone it down at some point, but at least i’m all me again.”

you furrowed your brows and looked at her with slight concern, “whatddya mean?”

she shrugged and slumped back in her chair, her stare suddenly a million miles away. “i mean i wasn’t really complete without my arm, it’s the strongest part of me, and without it after silco dying… i didn’t really feel like me,” she admitted with her voice getting smaller and smaller, a lump forming in her throat. she licked her lips to try and satiate the sudden dryness in her mouth with little success, a nervous forming pit in her stomach at her sudden confession. she knew that you wouldn't judge her for admitting her feelings, but it still felt strange to admit them out loud to someone who actually gave a shit to what she was feeling.

you cupped her cheeks and brought her focus back to you, her eyes finding yours overflowing with an openness in emotion that was usually guarded behind steel walls. keeping one hand on her cheek, you petted her hair with the other. she leaned her head into your hand and closed her eyes, slightly trembling in your hold.

you took a deep breath and continued petting her hair as you spoke to her reassuringly, “sevika, you are so much more than your arm, hell, you’re so much more than silco’s number two. sure, he was the main hedge but who was out there making his deals? cleaning his messes? plus, you were kicking ass even before you had that mechanical arm. you could take on all of the undercity with just one arm and come out with barely a scrape on the other side. you are the woman i fell in love with, the beautiful, handsome, headstrong, competitive knucklehead that i would choose to be with even if you had no limbs.”

sevika snorted and you noticed that her eyes were slightly glazed over with tears that she held back. she sighed softly and quietly lamented in a strained voice, “what did i do to deserve you?”

you smiled fondly at her and kissed the tip of her nose, “i could ask you the exact same thing.”

she leaned forward into you and kissed your lips which such care that it would make anyone forget that she was a seasoned killer. desperately pushing into you, she had you leaning back with an iron grip around your waist with her flesh arm. you quickly threw your arms around her neck and pulled her as tight to your body as you could. a squeak followed immediately by giggles fell from your lips as you almost fell over backward, sevika catching you in time to straighten you both back up. she genuinely smiled and leaned her forehead against yours, “i love you.”

“i love you too sevika," you replied lovingly, nuzzling the tip of your nose with hers. she surprisingly returned the gesture with a light blush dusting her cheeks.

you pulled back and grinned at her, a hint of mischief in your eye. "well, at least ask jinx to add on a hand function," you said teasingly, but with a genuine undertone.

sevika chuckled and shook her head, grinning down at you with a cocked eyebrow, “what, did you miss my hands that much?”

you puffed out your cheeks and huffed, “i just miss standing on the left side of you sometimes.”

that made her genuinely laugh from the bottom of her stomach, teasingly tickling your sides with her hand which made you wriggle in her lap with laughter. you’d clean up as much goo off of her as she needed just to hear that laugh every day.

she brought your hand up to her lips and kissed the wedding band stacked ontop of your engagement ring on your finger. she softly kissed the inside of your palm and closed your fingers around it, a silent promise.

“i’ll ask just for you,” she cooed and pecked your lips, giving your hip an affectionate squeeze.

“good,” you smiled and grabbed her hand in yours. you giggled as you led her up to your shared room with her hot on your heels, following you up the stairs like an eager puppy.

maybe you can find some other fun uses for her new arm.

[megamindsecretlair]

Baby, I'm Yours

Pairing: Alex Cross x John Sampson x Black!Fem!/ Plus Size reader

Warnings: 18+, Minors DNI, You are in charge of your own reading experience. Intentional use of AAVE. Cursing, threesome, D/s lite, SMUT, PWP, PIV, oral (male receiving), hair pulling, praise kink, spanking, dirty talk, rough sex, orgasm denial, use of vibrator, rope, and blindfold, all consensual. Sorry if I missed some. There is a tiny spoiler if you never read the books or watched the first episode.

Summary: You traveled often for work and it was rare to make it back home to D.C. But when you did, your first call was always to your very best friends, John Sampson and Alex Cross. Falling back into old routines, you reminisce over your college days. But, when things turn steamy, both men prove that they still have some tricks up their sleeves.

Word Count: 7,300k

AO3 Link

A/N: If you see this, no you didn't. Can you blame me????? The first five minutes broke me. Toss a coin to your blogger by leaving a comment, gif, or unhinged ask.

Your hand paused on the restaurant’s doors as you caught a glimpse of your two favorite guys in the entire world through the glass. They never aged a day, both always looking good as the day you met in college. They had a little seasoning now but just looking at them had you out of breath.

John had let his beard grow out, nice and thick. Alex wasn’t too far behind, with a sheen on his beard from the overhead lights that just made him look extra delicious. These men…

You sighed and opened the door and a cold blast of wind hit you in the face, whipping up your hair. You fought with stray hairs as the hostess greeted you and asked for your name. “I’m meeting up with friends, they’re over there,” you said, pointing to your men.

Two of MPD’s finest and they were clueless that you had even walked in. They were engaged in some kind of intense conversation, heads bent towards each other. The hostess took your coat but you only had eyes for them. This. This was what you needed.

On the rare occasion you swung back home, your first stop was always them. Always. 

Finished with the hostess, you made your way through the new and hip restaurant that opened up. It catered to the yuppie Georgetown crowd with its distressed white brick, low ceiling, and mason jar candles on every table. It was supposed to give off old money vibes while remaining current. It only came off pretentious.

“I seem to have found two handsome men who have no business being single at their big ages,” you said by way of announcement. 

John and Alex had their heads ducked close to each other, but each lifted their heads at your announcement. John broke into a wide grin, immediately standing up and giving you a hug. He smelled so good, like honey bourbon and woodsmoke. His thick arms wrapped around you, enveloping you in the way you secretly craved. He made you feel tiny and delicate. Soft.

Alex was slower to get up, that rare grin on his face transforming him into someone more boyish. He stood up and tapped John on the arm. “Let our girl go. Hogging her and shit, man,” he said. 

He pried John’s arms off of you and you giggled while Alex took his turn hugging you. He smelled equally as delicious with something more subtle, more clean. You inhaled deeply and felt your body relax in the presence of two such strong men. 

Alex held out your chair for you and you sat down first, because you knew they wouldn’t until you did. There was a glass of wine already waiting for you. You looked between the two, narrowing your eyes.

John hid his grin behind his hand but you turned your attention to Alex. He lifted an eyebrow at you and you tapped the side of the glass. You lifted it and took a tiny sip, sighing in pleasure at the taste.

“Alex ordered this for me,” you said.

John slapped the table and laughed, looking between the both of you. “You just as bad as him. How did you know?” He asked.

“You have a tell, Johnny,” you said. 

John groaned playfully and rolled his eyes. “Beautiful, gorgeous, love of my life. What must I do to get you to stop calling me that?” He asked. 

You giggled and shrugged your shoulders. “Give it up man, she just likes the way you respond when she does,” Alex said.

You rested your chin in your hand and looked at him. “Are you trying to shrink me, Sugar?” You asked.

John laughed while Alex’s shit eating grin fell from his face. “Alright now,” he said.

“Oh, he can dish it out but can’t take it, huh?” You asked and laughed. A waiter swung by and handed you the menu. You googled the menu before you arrived. You didn’t want to dilly dally. You were only in town for a few days and you knew they were in the middle of a tough case. You didn’t want to miss a second of tonight.

“Alright boys, you know the drill. Drop them drawers,” you said. 

Johnny and Alex laughed, shaking their heads at you. You were oh, so, very serious but it was time to eat first. You all ordered your respective dishes, getting right back into the swing of things as if you never left Washington D.C. 

Alex and John regaled you with all the little things you missed. Things Jannie and Damon had gotten up to. 

“Yeah, Damon got accepted to early Mozart,” Alex said, beaming with pride. His little cheeks puffed out and you fell even more madly in love with him. 

“Get out, really!” You said. “Go head, Damon. I know that was Maria’s doing. She always played so beautifully,” you said. 

Alex’s eyes dimmed but it didn’t snuff out. Not like before. You looked at John who gave you a subtle nod. You took a sip of wine to hide your own nod of acceptance. Good. John had your boy’s back, as always. 

“She really did. He plays just like her,” Alex said.

“I’m so glad. Let me know if there’s ever a recital. I don’t care what I’m doing, I’ll catch a quick flight or train right back here for that!” You said. 

Your food arrived and you thanked the waiter. Steam rose off your lamb covered in a light gravy drizzle, with mashed potatoes with chives, and a vegetable medley. It smelled delicious and the taste was even better. You took a bite, moaning at the taste.

“That never gets old,” John said with a chuckle. He opted for a good old fashioned steak, nearly mirroring Alex’s plate down to the sear marks. 

“Oh hush. Ya’ll act like ya’ll don’t enjoy food too. Like when we were shit faced at three am trying to look for a taco spot,” you said.

“Oh, see, why you gotta bring that up?” Alex groaned, cutting into his steak. 

You giggled, pointing your fork at him. “Because a certain someone thought it’d be a great idea to sing in the quad,” you said. 

“She is never going to let you live that down,” John said with another chuckle. You looked at him and savored that deep chuckle. He was so damn fine, so warm, so welcoming. Your panties had been damp since the moment you stepped into the restaurant, but the more you spent in their presence, the more your panties were soaked. 

“Says the man who ran naked through said quad on a dare?” You asked and swung your gaze to him. John grimaced and dug into his food, muttering under his breath.

“You know, she fails to realize that she’s the mastermind behind all of these little dares and mishaps. Was it not her idea to get shitfaced at 3am instead of studying?” Alex asked, bringing a piece of steak to his mouth. 

He wrapped his lips around the fork deliberately, methodically, and your eyes dropped to his lips as he chewed. He even licked the corner of his mouth. Bastard. You shifted in your seat while John leaned back in his.

“Yeaah, and wasn’t she also the same one who dared me to streak?” He asked. He gave you an assessing look. The type of look that could probably melt the North Pole. You blinked innocently at both of them. 

“I have no idea what you’re talking about. I offer suggestions. You two are grown. Little ole me can’t change your minds,” you said, making your voice extra sugary sweet. You took a tiny sip of your wine and cut into your lamb once more.

The table was so quiet, other sounds of the restaurant started to filter in. The clash of silverware on plates, cups hitting the table, chatter. You looked back up to see twin expressions of “bullshit” stamped all over their faces. 

You burst into laughter, hiding your mouth behind your napkin lest they see any food. Your stomach cramped from laughing so hard, pushing the napkin into your mouth to muffle your sounds. 

“Ya’ll gon’ get us thrown outta this fancy place,” you said.

“Us?” John asked.

“Girl, you must have our roles reversed. You have always been the dangerous one here,” Alex said. He leveled you with a stare hot enough to make heat flash through your body. Your thighs tingled so you looked away, allowing him that small victory. But your eyes only caught on John’s, whose eyes were on fire. You were pretty sure he was undressing you with the way his eyes slowly drooped down to your generous cleavage. Your dress grew a little tighter.

Your lower belly flipped with desire and you struggled to swallow. Did they turn the temperature up in the restaurant? Good god, you were not going to survive the night. You took a deeper pull from your wine glass. 

“I am the innocent one here. An innocent bystander in your shenanigans. A passerby, if you will,” you said. 

John and Alex shared a look before erupting into laughter, shaking their heads and mumbling to each other about the crazy things you got into as a youth. You waved your napkin in their direction.

“I can’t stand ya’ll,” you said with a giggle. 

You updated them on your work and the last few places you visited. You sat back after your meal with a contented sigh and draped the napkin across your lap. “I hadn’t stayed long enough in the past few cities to even visit anywhere. I was in New York last week, didn’t even make it to the museum,” you said and pouted.

“Whaaat? You didn’t get to visit a museum you’ve been to at least a hundred times?” John asked. 

“Shut up,” you said, sticking your tongue out at him. He lifted an eyebrow and you schooled your features, giving him a sweet smile. “It’s still one of my favorite museums, so yes, I have the right to be bummed.” 

Alex chuckled. “Do you remember when you came up with an entire, elaborate plan to break into the museum just to see the tattoo exhibit?” Alex asked.

“Can you blame me? Tattoos are art,” you said. 

John huffed. “Tattoos are a statement. Nothing more, nothing less,” he said. 

You rolled your eyes and looked to Alex for help. “Will you get your boy?” You asked. 

Alex chuckled and waved off John. “We had some crazy times, didn’t we?” Alex asked looking between you and John.

“Crazy, amazing times,” John said, looking pointedly at you. You fingered the stem of your glass, trailing your nail against it. 

You grew unexpectedly shy, feeling as if this was somehow new and familiar all at once. Every time you all came together, it was like lightning in a bottle. You wanted to store it and stare at it, day after day. Night after night. Forever. Instead, you smirked at both of them. 

“We gotta create new memories too,” you said, finishing off your glass. 

“I like the sound of that. Sugar?” John asked, not even glancing at Alex. You did, however. You always worried what this was like for him. If he even enjoyed it. If it somehow hurt him. 

Alex glanced at you as well, giving you a wink. “I think our girl is used to getting what she wants. And she’s been mighty quick with the jabs tonight,” Alex said, lowering his voice. You gasped softly. You looked to John for help but he only smiled and leaned back in his seat.

“Quicker than the Greatest himself,” John said.

You giggled to hide the fact that you didn’t know what to fucking say. You always had some kind of lick back, but fuck, they were making you sweat tonight! You shifted in your seat and shrugged. “Why shouldn’t I get what I want? Don’t I deserve it?” You asked, turning doe eyes to John. 

He faltered, his lips parting a fraction. You blinked a few times and reached out to touch his forearm. “Haven’t I been good?” You asked. 

“And she fights dirty as hell,” John said, shaking his head and recovering. Alex’s chuckle brought your attention to him and he leaned forward, quirking an eyebrow at you. 

“She thinks you’re her ally,” Alex said.

“You can’t read minds, Dr. Cross,” you said, leaning forward to match his energy. 

Alex hummed and nodded his head. “You wanna test that? Want to see if John’s on your side or mine?” He asked. 

You looked back at John who had leaned forward as well. You stared into his big, warm brown eyes. His eyes narrowed, testing you. You tilted your head. He lifted an eyebrow. “Game on, Sugar,” you said to Johnny with a wink. 

He chuckled as Alex called for the check. The anticipation nearly killed you as the waiter approached. He told the waiter, no, you did not want dessert. You shrieked and Alex chuckled, requesting one slice of chocolate cake to go. You grinned with a giggle. You were going to need something after they wore you out!

“Always getting what she wants,” John said, shaking his head. 

“That’s what she thinks anyway,” Alex said. 

You glanced between them, at the shared looks and smirks. You gasped and pointed to both. “You’ve been plotting!” 

They laughed. John shook his head. “Why would we do that?” Alex asked with a wink. The waiter returned with Alex’s card and the chocolate cake in a small paper bag, cutting off your protests. 

You sputtered as the men stood up. John pulled out your chair while Alex grabbed your hand and helped you stand. John whistled low and hummed. “Missed that ass, for sure. You look beautiful. I’m sorry I didn’t say anything earlier,” he said.

Your thighs practically burned at this point. Tingling pinpricks of desire. “You can make it up to me in about ten minutes,” you said.

Alex stepped closer to you and lifted your hand to his mouth. He kissed the inside of your wrist, sliding his rough hand against your softer one. “For someone so drop dead gorgeous and intelligent, you still don’t see the danger you’re in,” he said as softly as if reciting poetry. 

“Danger?” You said.

“Mhm, you sure you don’t have anywhere to be in the morning?” John asked. You looked over your shoulder. You forgot that quick how damn tall John was. You craned your neck as he tilted his head down at you. 

“Oh, we’re cocky tonight,” you said. 

John answered with a grin. He stepped back and allowed Alex to take the lead on escorting you out. Alex grabbed your coat from the hostess and helped you get in while John went ahead, grabbing his car from the valet. 

While you waited by the booth, you stood between both men not feeling an ounce of D.C. weather. Earlier, the wind about your ankles at the bottom of your dress was cold enough to make your teeth chatter. Now, there was just the inherent heat rolling off two powerful men. This was it. This was heaven.

You smirked at your own little joke while the valet brought John’s huge truck around. John helped you climb into the front seat while Alex took the back. “We couldn’t take Alex’s car…?” You pouted. It was damn hard to climb in heels, in the winter, after a six hour flight with a screaming baby in your ear. 

“I can’t fit in that matchbox car,” John said, pulling away from the restaurant. 

“Hey, easy,” Alex said. You giggled and turned around to look at him. 

“I happen to like your car,” you said. 

“Sucking up gets you no favors,” Alex said.

You gasped. “I was not sucking up!” You said, offended he would read you so well. You turned back around with a small huff and John laughed. 

“You would like his car. It’s low to the ground so your ass could fit,” he said. 

You shrieked again, turning wide eyes to Johnny. “You take that back,” you said.

“Is she…did she try to give me an order?” John asked, looking in the rearview mirror at Alex. Alex’s dark chuckle was downright nasty. Your belly clenched listening to it. 

“You know what, I think she did,” Alex said. They laughed and joked on the short ride to your hotel. Somehow this morphed to an understanding that this would always take place at your hotel. 

Alex had his kids and Nana Mama at the house and while John’s bed may have worked, you all agreed that you needed the biggest bed available at all times. Plus, at the hotel, you were guaranteed not to be interrupted. 

John slipped into an available parking spot and you led the way inside the upscale hotel. Alex whistled as he saw it and you waved him off. “Oh you know the company, looks matter,” you said, waving him off. 

At the elevator doors, the boys naturally took up their places on either side of you. You almost felt like royalty, getting escorted by bodyguards. Very sexy bodyguards. This was like every bodyguard romance you ever read and you grinned. 

An older couple joined you just as the gilded elevator doors opened. You pinched your lips but didn’t say anything. Fuuuuuck, you hoped their room was on the next floor or something. You wanted to tell them to catch the next one. But John put his hand on your lower back and pushed you inside when the doors opened.

You followed, if only to hurry everything along, and the couple entered behind you with a smile. Before the doors closed, a man in a hotel uniform entered carrying fresh towels. Good fucking grief. 

You shifted your weight to one of your heels, putting you closer to John. He wrapped his arm around your back, hand sliding down to your ass. You gasped, looking up at him and he licked his lips. “Behave,” he mouthed to you. 

You ran your tongue over your canine, ready to tell him about himself, when he squeezed your ass and you almost collapsed against him. The elevator rose and rose and rose while John fondled your ass. You were all the way in the back and everyone else faced forward. The gilded elevator was shiny enough to show parts of your reflection and you looked at John. Was he aware? Was he doing it on purpose? This seemed new, even for him. 

You gasped again when rough fingers grabbed your thigh through the slit in your dress. You turned to Alex who winked at you. The elevator stopped and the staff member got off to deliver the towels. 

The doors slid closed and then the ascent made you jerk. But the dueling hands on your body, pawing at you in public, made you tremble with need. You had other lovers, some you tended to hit up when you reached their city again, but there was no one like your two best men. Absolutely no one. They worked in tandem, pushing into your fleshy skin as if it were practiced.

Your clit throbbed, pressure building in your lower belly. You were going to faint, you just knew it. It took all of your concentration not to fall to your knees and suck them both off in the elevator. You knew a guy who could break into the hotel’s security cameras and delete the footage.

The elevator mercifully dinged again and the old couple waved and said goodbye as they got off. Without the cover, John and Alex’s hands disappeared to save your modesty. Fuck that. You were panting and shaky, beyond horny. 

“You do not play fair,” you said, breathless. 

“Never did,” John said as the elevator stopped on your floor. He held the door open for you and waited for you to pass him. Alex followed behind.

“Never will,” Alex said, placing his hand on your lower back and walking with you to your door. Johnny was almost like a real bodyguard, standing a little ways behind you since the hallway wasn’t that big. 

You rolled your eyes as you approached your door, opening it, and the men let you inside first. You turned on lights as you walked further in, immediately shucking off your heels. You moaned as your feet sank into the plush crimson carpet. 

The door closed and then some of the overhead lights winked out. You turned to watch your boys stalking towards you. Alex looked edible in his dark gray turtleneck and dark slacks. He rubbed his beard, smoothing it down as he gave you a full body scan. 

John had a long sleeve wine colored shirt paired with gray slacks. You watched as he rolled up his sleeves, exposing his forearms. He left the lamp light on, but crossed to your window and opened the curtains. 

City lights filtered in, turning the room from just another hotel room to something otherworldly. You were focused on John so you jumped when Alex’s hands rubbed your shoulders. “Relax, it’s just us,” he cooed in your ear. 

John smirked as he crossed the room and turned off the lamp light, bathing the room in a mix of reds, blues, and golds across your floor and the king sized bed. 

“That’s not why I’m jumpy,” you said, out of breath as if you ran a marathon. If they didn’t start soon, you were going to fucking lose it. 

“Where’s your bag?” John asked. 

“Why?” You shivered as Alex’s hands roamed your body, taking in your curves. 

“Damn girl, this body get thicker every time I see you,” he said. You nudged him with your elbow and laughed. 

John opened the closet door and pulled out your bag. “I know your nasty ass always comes…” he said and rummaged through your open suitcase. “Prepared.” He held up your travel vibrator and you giggled. 

“This sounds more like torture than a fun evening for me, boys,” you said. 

“Aww, you think this is for you,” Alex said. His fingers found your zipper and he pulled. The rip-like noise was loud in the suite. He pulled, exposing your back. His fingers followed the zipper, his finger moving down your spine. He hissed. “No bra, John.” 

John groaned, crossing the room to join you. He tugged at the front of your dress, pulling the straps down your arms. He yanked until your breasts popped out and he groaned. “So fucking beautiful,” he said.

You looked down to see him pitching an impressive tent. You reached out to cup him but John tsked at you and moved his hips away. You grunted, blinking through a foggy mind. “Aw come on. Don’t start with the teasing,” you said.

You wanted to cum, dammit. Alex unexpectedly grabbed your arms and drew it behind your back. You gasped, flush against his equally impressive bulge. You couldn’t help arching your back. He rested his head against yours, kissing your cheek. 

“We thought we’d try something a little different tonight. Trust us?” He asked. He nodded to John who tugged off the rest of your dress. Cold air and red light hit your skin and you moaned at the rough way John slipped off your dress. 

“You know I trust you,” you said. John tossed your dress against the couch on the far side of the suite. 

“You remember our safeword, gorgeous?” Alex asked. 

“Safeword?” You tried to look over your shoulder to Alex but he held you firm. Wrists clasped in his much larger hands. Fuck. You hadn’t needed a safeword with these two for quite some time. The sex was never boring, it just evolved into lots of touching and rubbing and slow lovemaking. This…this was definitely different.

John crossed the room once more, licking his lips as his eyes dipped to your nipples. He produced a rope and blindfold in his hand, your vibrator in the other. “What’s your safeword?” John asked. 

John handed the rope to Alex who tied it around your wrists. When he was done, you tested his knot skills. You couldn’t break free even if you really tried. Your thighs trembled. “L-Lemon,” you said.

“There’s our girl. She earned a kiss,” John said, leaning down to capture your lips with his. You moaned, suckling his lips and tasting the bourbon he had earlier. 

John pulled back with a wink and then handed the blindfold to Alex who promptly placed it over your eyes. You pouted, denied the pleasure of seeing them now. John moved away and he started moving in front of you, probably taking off his pants.

“Wait, so I don’t even get to see your dicks?” You asked. Maybe you needed to re-think this whole trust thing. They clearly didn’t know you at all. Best friends your ass. 

Alex swatted you so fast that it took a moment before the sting blossomed on your ass. “Oh, fuck,” you shook, knees buckling. He held you up with one arm around your middle. He pulled you against his still clothed body and then sunk his hand into your panties.

“Fuck, you been like this since the restaurant, haven’t you?” He asked.

“Y-Yes,” you moaned. He didn’t touch you. Instead, he swirled his finger through your damp hair, rubbing the outside of your slit, gathering up all the essence you leaked out. 

“Fuck, fuck,” you moaned, moving your hips. Trying to guide his hand where you wanted. 

John chuckled. “I got her,” he said. John snatched off your panties, yanking it down your legs, over your feet, before you had a chance to yelp. You were completely bare before them and you couldn’t see their reactions.

“Only say your safeword if you mean it,” Alex said. Damn mind reader. You huffed and deflated. 

“Look at that, she earned another kiss,” John said. He gripped your elbow and spun you around so Alex could grab your cheeks and kiss your socks off. He groaned, pushing his tongue into your mouth. Your tongues dueled before John tugged you away. You whimpered, leaning forward. 

“What do I have to do to earn another?” You asked. 

John laughed and kissed below your ear. “Be a good kitten,” he said. 

Your clit throbbed as John pushed you down onto the bed on your knees. Your ass hung in the air and John wasted no time giving you a few swats. You hissed after each one. He smacked your ass like a punching bag, hard as hell. Each bloom of heat went straight to your pussy, making you drip down your leg. 

You heard more rustling as Alex presumably took off his clothes as well. You missed the slow teases. The easy loving. But you could definitely get used to this. Used to the way they pushed you around. 

Soft buzzing clicked on and then John shoved it into your pussy, to the highest setting. “Oh shit!” You screamed out, falling flat on your face with no arms to support you. 

“Shh, shh, shh, you’re not allowed to cum yet,” John said. 

“Why?” You gasped, biting your bottom lip to keep from screaming out. Your body had been hyper aware all day, stuck in a state of lust as you pictured how tonight would go. The easy banter, the memories rushing to the forefront. The way you liked to give each other shit and tease. 

You barely focused during your earlier meeting, thoughts of playing hide the sausages on constant repeat in your mind. The multiple orgasms, that was your favorite part. So far, they held the reigning count for how many times you could come in one night with no break. And now….they said you couldn’t come? 

“And before your bratty ass thinks of cumming anyway, just know, you won’t like that punishment,” Alex said. “If you think John hits hard…”

You shivered and shook, your whole body bowing under the weight of that dangling thought. You were tempted to do it any fucking way. Who did they think they were? But it was really nice when they gave you your two rewards. You wanted more. Okay…fine…you’d play along. For now.

“Fuck,” you moaned as the vibrator moved as your pussy clenched around it. John kept a firm grip on it, not allowing it to go too deep inside. 

John leaned down and bit your ass. You moaned, kicking your feet. He stepped forward and trapped your feet between his legs. He bit you again. “Good kitten,” he purred. 

Once you were done fighting, he maneuvered you on the bed with ease. Until you straddled a corner of the bed. Alex stepped in front of you, pushing strands of hair from your face. You moaned, already smelling the husky scent of his heavy dick. 

It was cruel that you couldn’t see him. Couldn’t see how hard he was or if he was already leaking pre-cum. You moaned, pussy clenching around the toy once more. John chuckled cruelly behind you. “I don’t think we’re gonna have to wait that long, Sugar. She already did half the work for us,” he said.

“Naw, she can give us more. Open your mouth,” he commanded. 

You whimpered but complied, opening your mouth. You swore that you could already taste him on your tongue. You waited a beat, then two, before Alex chuckled and slapped your face with his dick.

You moaned, feeling the thick tip slap against your cheeks and bounce on your bottom lip. His pre-cum left a few wet spots around your mouth and you leaned forward. John grabbed your hips and pulled you back towards him.

You groaned, denied from both of them. “Let me cum,” you begged. Alex slapped your face with his dick. 

“I said mouth open,” he said.

You pouted but quickly opened your mouth again. John pulled at the vibrator, pushing it in and out of your dripping hole. You moaned, fucking back on it. John groaned, his free hand rubbing and squeezing your ass. 

Alex finally shoved his dick in your mouth, down further than where you would have started. Your jaw popped trying to fit all of him inside. Alex groaned, and gripped your hair to start fucking your mouth. 

The vibrator disappeared and John sank into your pussy on a long, sustained groan. Like he was coming home after being away at war for a year. They were somehow both out of sync and in it. Pulling and pushing you between them like you were a live finger trap for their dicks. 

John gripped your hips and fucked you, fingers digging into your skin, as he stretched you completely around his monster. You screamed around Alex’s dick, wishing more than anything that you could see. 

Male pleasure was its own aphrodisiac between the moans and the looks on their faces. When they threw their head back and lost themselves in you. Fuck, you never got used to that feeling of power. That feeling of sexiness that it brought. That you could tame not one but two powerful Black men. And they denied it to you. 

Alex was no better, gripping your hair and forcing you to take his dick as if John wasn’t there pulling you away. Saliva pooled on either side of your mouth, dripping down your chin. You moaned around his dick, feeling it rub against the inside of your cheek.

Pressure built in your lower belly. Your moans turned frantic, desperate, as you rode them both. As a unit, they both stopped pumping into you. 

“Nooo,” you moaned around Alex’s dick. John treated you to a smack on the ass. He gripped your hair out of Alex’s grasp and pulled you back to lift onto your knees. 

“You. Are. Not. In. Control. Right. Now,” John kissed into your neck and ended it with a lick. Alex grabbed your breasts in his hands, smashing them together so he could lick both of your nipples.

“Fuck,” you moaned. Alex stopped and then the bed dipped as Alex climbed on top, kneeling in front of you. “Now take his dick like a good kitten, and you’ll get to cum. Suck him real good. I’ve seen that nasty ass mouth suck him dry in five minutes flat. Can you beat that?” John asked, nibbling at your earlobe.

Um…what? Your mind was a blur. Empty. Gone. Deceased as Alex shoved his dick back into your mouth and fucked you like there hadn’t been a factory reset on your brain. Your instincts kicked in, aided by your fierce competitive side, as you busted out all of the tricks. It was no longer about playing their game. You just wanted to beat your personal best. Alex moaned and gripped your throat, alternately squeezing and letting go.

John kept his grip on your hair as he fucked into you, slamming your ass on his dick. Loud, lewd smacking and sucking filled the room. Filled with frantic, rushed groaning and grunting. Your moans were pornographic, sucking down Alex like your life depended on it. 

You used your tongue more, teasing the underside of the head while he stroked. “Fuck, fuck,” Alex moaned. 

“She squeezing the fuck outta my dick,” John moaned, slapping your ass just because. “You like taking dick, don’t you?” John asked.

“Mhmm,” you moaned. How long had it been? How long did you still have to go? You took a deep breath and trusted Alex to get deeper, down to his base. You sucked and Alex groaned, his grip on your throat getting tighter. 

“Hmm, fuck,” Alex moaned, cumming down your throat without a warning. 

“Swallow it down,” Alex cooed. “Swallow that shit.” 

You drank deeply, letting his thick cum slide down your throat with ease. Alex tapped your cheek, huffing with spent breaths. He eased out of you and let John push you forward.

“Good kitten, you earned another reward,” he said. He kept a hand on your back as he stroked into you. He pushed forward, making you take all of him, making you take him while he bottomed out and slammed his dick inside. 

“Fuck, fuck, I can’t-, I can’t hold–,” you whined.

“Yes, you can. You want a bigger reward?” John grunted.

“Yesss,” you moaned. 

“Hold on,” John said. “Fuck, good pussy. Good pussy. Good pussy,” he said, getting more and more breathless with each punishing stroke. He slammed into you one last time, unloading a thick load. He filled you to the brim. Tip throbbing against your core. 

You began to whine, limbs shaking. “You can cum, kitten,” John cooed.

You came instantly, flooded relief coursing through your veins as you added to the mix of juices spilling out of you. John fucked you through it, his dick still rock hard and lethal. He brushed against your sweet spot and you leaned forward, trying to get away.

“Mhmm, take that dick, baby. We’ve been dreaming ‘bout this ever since you said you were coming back to town. Dreaming of you taking us again and again and again,” Alex said, pushing you back into position. He kept his hands on your neck, keeping you in place.

“Fuhhh-” you cried, falling into another orgasm. One rolled right into the next one, your eyes rolling back into your head. Your body was slick with sweat. You shivered on John’s dick. Your wrists burned from trying to get loose. Trying to get away. 

You stopped convulsing on John’s dick and he sighed, slapping your ass while he slipped out of your pussy. You groaned, pushing his load out. “Fuck, fuck,” you moaned. 

John gave you one last smack and then grabbed you, yanking you to the edge of the bed and then flipped you over onto your back. You groaned. You were spent. You were done. There was no way you could survive more. 

“You came without permission. Which is okay, you won’t get punished for it. But now we’re going to play a game,” Alex said. The bed dipped under his weight as he got up from the bed. 

“How you feelin’, kitten?” John asked. 

You licked your lips. “Good,” you squeaked. 

Both men chuckled. Like it was sweet. You turned your head listening for any clues on what they were up to. 

“Are you sure?” Alex asked. They moved about the room, switching places, checking in on you as you recovered from a powerful orgasm. 

“Be honest,” John said.

“I’m sure. I can keep going. I like this,” you said. “I missed this.”

John came closer and pecked you on the lips. “So did we.” 

Alex was next to peck you on the lips and then they were gone again, leaving you on the bed alone. 

“We’re going to take turns back in that sweet pussy of yours. If you can guess correctly each time, you get to cum after. If not, we get to fill that pussy up before you get to cum,” Alex explained. 

“Both of you?” You asked. A little panicked. How could you hold off an orgasm with both of them using you until they both filled you? They said it was a set up but it didn’t sink in just how much. They were fucking you like they wanted to keep you. Like they wanted you to stay. You promised yourself that you couldn’t let them hold onto that dream.

You wanted both of them. Heaven knew you couldn’t choose. Both had qualities that you were drawn to. And while you had fun for these trysts, these passionate affairs, you knew that they would hate you eventually. That they would make you choose between them. Both were too proud and possessive to settle for anything less. 

“Both of us,” Alex confirmed. 

“Fuuuck,” you moaned, dropping your head to the bed. They chuckled, growing quiet. A pair of hands gripped you and shoved in. You were still a bit sensitive so you hissed, hands flexing, wishing you could reach out and grab them. 

The dick was huge, massive, splintering you but fuck if you could tell off hand who it belonged to. They were both big. A few more strokes before he stilled. “Uh-uh, Alex?” 

“Very good,” Alex said. He slipped out and then there was a beat before hands pushed your thighs apart. He entered you, stretching you very fucking well. To the point that you were seeing fireworks behind the blindfold. 

“J-John,” you moaned. 

“She thinks she knows us,” John cooed and leaned down to kiss you. You kissed him back with hungry fervor before he pulled away, pinching your nipple as he slipped out of you. You moaned as he stepped away.

Next, hands pushed down on either side of your waist and he entered you slowly, methodically. “Oh fuck,” you moaned. “John,” you cried.

He chuckled and rewarded you with another kiss. “She’s too good at this, Sugar,” John said. 

Alex chuckled as well as John slipped out. Your lips were fucking parched, tummy ready to cave in. You were so close to the brink again. Too close to tipping over. 

One entered you for a few strokes before stepping away and the other took over. They went back and forth, making you dizzy, unable to keep up with the differences between the both of them. “Fng, ung, ung,” you moaned, getting wetter by the second. 

“Making a sexy fucking mess,” Alex moaned while he was in you, balls deep, having you making incoherent sounds, singing the national anthem in latin for all you knew. 

He left and then it was back to the silence. Nothing but your squelching pussy accepting both of them. Both of them were a perfect fit. You were pretty sure that it was John who entered you this time, slamming into you a little rougher. Your legs shook pathetically. 

You whined and moaned, a cramp stabbing you in the lower belly from the overwhelming need to cum. To release this tension. This one slipped out and your pussy was still clenching, still seeking to be filled. 

You cried in frustration, tears leaking down the sides of your face. “Please,” you whispered.

Alex’s scent washed over you as he leaned down and gave you a sweet, scorching kiss. “Which one of us entered you first?” Alex asked against your lips.

“What?” You asked. Did he…did this motherfucker really think you remembered who entered you first?????

“Time’s ticking, kitten,” John asked, slapping his dick against your pussy. He rubbed his tip through your slick folds and you cried out, twisting, trying to get away from how good he felt. 

“I-I-.” Fuck, who had it been? You tried to think past the haze, past the fog, but you were coming up empty. Fuck it, you had a fifty-fifty chance of being right. “Alex. It was Alex,” you panted, but said it with enough authority to convince them you were right. As if you could will it.

They were silent for a moment. So long that you thought you got it wrong. Fuck, how were you going to survive? 

“Very good, baby,” Alex said. He kissed you once more, moaning around your lips. He pulled away and gently pushed you to the side, freeing your hands from your restraints. He rubbed feeling back into your arms with John’s assistance. You moaned and sighed as feeling returned to your limbs. He gripped your thighs and pulled your ass to the end of the bed.

He didn’t tease, thank god. He just fed you his dick and you moaned, loudly. John chuckled, dropping onto the bed with a huff and grabbing your left titty. He wrapped his lips around your nipple, sucking, teasing, nibbling as Alex rocked into you quickly but softly. 

John played with your other nipple, sucking it into his mouth. “Can you take me too, kitten?” John asked, rubbing his beard against your skin. You moaned, reaching out to grip and tug at his hair. 

“Let me taste you,” you begged. 

“That’s our girl,” Alex cooed as John scooted up the bed to land next to your face. He leaned on his side while he pushed his dick through your lips, stroking in and out with more gentleness than he displayed all night. You stayed connected like that, being the bridge between them.

“I’m gonn-” you moaned around John’s dick as you came on Alex’s. His dick throbbed as you flooded his dick with your essence. He moaned, stroking until he followed right after. John followed shortly behind with a soft grunt, spilling down your throat. You drank him down as well, slurping up every single drop. 

The room filled with your combined heavy breathing. Both men slipped out of you and then the blindfold was lifted. You blinked into the dark room, the window all but a distant memory in your mind. 

The city was still so bright and vibrant, cars moving up and down the road. You looked between your sexy men, grinning up at them. You yawned and stretched, your arms popping from being held behind you for so long. 

“Come on, let’s give you your real reward in the bath,” John said.

“I can’t survive another one,” you said sleepily, leaning forward to drop your cheek against Alex’s stomach. He chuckled and lifted your chin, stealing a kiss. 

“Yes you can. Unless there’s a certain word you wanna say?” He asked.

You bit your lip as you looked at him and then over your shoulder at John. His smile grew and then you turned back to Alex. 

“Lead the way then,” you said with a put upon sigh. You all chuckled as you headed to the bathroom with your vibrator where they proceeded to let you cum a few more times. 

The end.

Ya'll know me by now, I can't help it! The Secret Alex Cross Files

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[cailinsblog]

The Girl of His Dreams-Connor bedard

Connor bedard x reader

Masterlist

It was an ordinary Wednesday afternoon, or so it seemed to Connor Bedard. He’d just finished a practice with the Chicago Blackhawks and was heading back to his apartment, mentally preparing for the upcoming game that weekend. But something in the air felt different today. Maybe it was the anticipation of his first full season in the NHL or maybe it was because of the event he couldn’t get out of his head—meeting her.

Y/N.

Connor had seen her across the room at a charity event a few weeks ago. She had caught his attention the moment she stepped into the venue, her warm smile lighting up the place. She wasn’t the type to draw attention, but there was something so magnetic about her presence that Connor couldn’t look away. He had been too shy to introduce himself that night, but it didn’t stop him from wondering who she was. The days that followed, Connor found himself thinking about her more than he wanted to admit. She was smart, kind, and beautiful in a way that was so effortless. He wasn’t even sure if he would ever see her again, but that didn’t stop him from hoping.

Then, by some stroke of luck, fate had intervened.

He had seen her again, this time at a coffee shop near the rink. She was sitting by herself, typing away on her laptop, completely unaware that the hockey star she’d caught the eye of was just a few feet away from her. Connor’s heart raced when he realized it was his chance. He had practiced this moment in his head so many times, yet he couldn’t remember the last time he had been so nervous.

As he approached her table, his palms were sweaty, and his nerves were nearly unbearable. He cleared his throat, trying to sound casual. “Excuse me, is this seat taken?”

Y/N looked up, surprised to see him standing there. But her reaction wasn’t what he had feared. Instead of being starstruck or awkward, she just smiled, her eyes soft and inviting. “No, go ahead.”

Connor hesitated for a moment before sitting down, his heart still beating faster than it probably should have been. “I… I’ve seen you before. At the charity event. I’m Connor.”

Her smile grew, and for the first time, Connor felt himself relax. “Y/N,” she replied warmly. “Nice to meet you, Connor.”

The small talk flowed easily after that. They talked about their favorite coffee orders, what brought them to the charity event, and how Connor was adjusting to life with the Blackhawks. But as much as they talked, Connor found himself becoming increasingly aware of how badly he wanted to ask for her number. Every moment he hesitated felt like a missed opportunity.

After what felt like an eternity of talking, Connor finally took a deep breath and said, “I know this is a little forward, but would you want to maybe grab dinner sometime? Or… I could give you my number, and you could text me if you’d like?”

Y/N looked at him for a moment, as if considering her answer. The silence between them felt deafening, and Connor could feel his heart thudding painfully in his chest. But then, to his relief, Y/N smiled again, her eyes twinkling. “I’d like that. I’ll text you,” she said as she jotted down her number on a napkin.

Connor smiled wider than he ever thought he could. His nerves were still there, but now they were replaced with a wave of happiness and excitement that was impossible to ignore.

Over the next few days, the two of them texted back and forth, getting to know each other better. Their conversations were effortless, filled with inside jokes and shared laughter. And then, after a couple of weeks, Connor finally worked up the courage to ask her to one of the Blackhawks games.

“Hey, so I know this is a little last-minute, but would you want to come to the game with me tomorrow? I’ll get you tickets,” he asked over text, his fingers hovering nervously over his phone screen.

Y/N didn’t even wait a minute to respond. “I’d love to!” she replied, and Connor could feel his heart race again.

He picked her up the next evening, his nerves threatening to get the best of him. But when he saw her standing outside her apartment in a cozy sweater and jeans, he forgot all about the nerves. Y/N looked incredible, and as she climbed into the car, she flashed him that same warm smile that had first captured his heart.

At the game, Connor could hardly focus. He was too busy sneaking glances at Y/N, watching the way her eyes lit up when the crowd cheered. It was obvious to him that she wasn’t just interested in the game; she was genuinely excited to be there, to be a part of this part of his life. During a break in play, he handed her a Blackhawks jersey, the number 98 stitched onto the back.

“For you,” he said shyly, his cheeks flushed.

Y/N’s eyes widened in surprise. “Are you sure?”

“Of course,” he said with a grin. “You’re a part of this now, too.”

She accepted it with a laugh, pulling it over her head right there in the stands. “Thanks, Connor. I’ll wear it proudly,” she said, looking down at the jersey.

He couldn’t help but grin, feeling an overwhelming sense of happiness. It was all so surreal—the idea that this amazing woman was now a part of his world.

But little did Y/N know, the real challenge for Connor was yet to come.

The night after the game, Connor found himself tossing and turning in bed. The Blackhawks had just finished a tough game, one where Connor had missed a crucial shot on goal. He knew he was capable of so much more, and the weight of letting his team down started to eat away at him. He couldn’t shake the feeling that he had failed.

So, at 3:00 AM, he did something completely out of character—he got in his car and drove to Y/N’s apartment, convinced that he needed to talk to someone who could help him put his thoughts at ease.

He knocked gently on her door, his nerves back in full force as he waited for her to answer. A few moments later, the door opened, and Y/N stood there, her hair tousled from sleep but her eyes soft with concern when she saw who it was.

“Connor? What’s wrong?” she asked, immediately stepping aside to let him in.

“I just… I don’t know. I had a bad game, and I feel like I’m letting everyone down,” Connor admitted, his voice barely above a whisper.

Y/N’s heart ached as she walked toward him, gently taking his hands in hers. “You’re not letting anyone down, Connor. You’re young, and you’re still learning. You have so much potential, and there’s so much more to come. This is just the beginning for you.”

He looked at her, feeling the weight of her words settle into his chest. For the first time that night, the tight knot of anxiety loosened, and he felt a wave of calm wash over him.

Y/N reached up and cupped his face, her thumb brushing against his cheek. “You’re going to do amazing things, Connor. But you need to be kind to yourself, too.”

Connor smiled, the burden lifting off his shoulders. He leaned in, his lips brushing gently against hers in a soft kiss. It was full of warmth and comfort, a kiss that reassured him everything would be okay.

When they pulled away, Connor rested his forehead against hers, feeling safe and secure in her arms.

“Thank you,” he whispered.

Y/N smiled softly. “Anytime, Connor. You’re not alone in this.”

As he held her close, Connor realized that meeting Y/N had been the best thing to ever happen to him. She wasn’t just the girl of his dreams; she was the one who would help him believe in himself when everything seemed overwhelming.

And in that moment, Connor knew that no matter what happened on the ice, he had someone who would always be there for him—someone who would love him not for his successes, but for who he was.

And that, more than anything, was enough.

---

[jazzy-mass]

My friend that got me to watch X-men ‘97 described all of x-men as “two gays break up and make it everyone’s problem” and honestly? Yeah. Yeah that about sums it up.

[coconut530]

BITTERSWEET REUNIONS

[dearabsolutelynoone]

“You should have a tulip,” he said matter-of-factly. “It isn't right that Edwina receives all the flowers.” - Anthony Bridgerton

Julia Quinn, The Viscount Who Loved Me (Bridgertons, #2)

[queenbirbs]

Fleet: I had this idea…

Clara: Yes?

Fleet: I thought you might like to go to the theatre.

Clara: I’m sorry?

Fleet: The theatre. Today. Catch a matinee.

Clara: Archibald Fleet, are you inviting me to a social activity? Like a friend might?

[unsurebazookacore]

percy’s complete and utter lack of self preservation is both a source of insurmountable pride and crippling anxiety

[gottagobackintime]

Me when I have to make the last gifs of Ted and Trent saying each other’s name:

[likedovesinthewnd]

i hope pen and eloise work it out in the remix aka season three bc that ending was so sad like not the besties :(

but onto queen charlotte now. i’m ready to hurt again.

[night-triumphantt]

Top nine shows!

@cashweasel beloved tagged me, this list absolutely is suffering from recency bias but also I have adhd don’t ask me my favorite anything’s I don’t know (also like, right after posting I got tagged by @sysba nd @likesomethingblooming beloveds mfhskdjskd) 😘😘

I feel like, I don’t know who to tag, so sorry fjskdjsks

[mikesbasementbeets]

working on like 17 different motif compilation posts rn but half of them tie into each other and i can’t even begin to try analyzing what it all means….. i need to gather and sort them all like skittles first

[readingwriter92]

Not me scrolling whump blogs constantly bc I’m desperate for a new brainrot show with whump

[honey-tongued-devil]

Arcane characters finding you asleep at their workplace

The devil works hard, but I work a little harder, so I’m back to writing Arcane headcanons a month before season two comes out.

Jayce:  

- Strong sense of guilt,  

- The first thing that comes to his mind is that you must have waited for him for a long time to fall asleep 

- He will make it up to you by trying to cook something for you, stopping to buy your favorite sweets before heading home, and giving you a shoulder massage the moment you sit down somewhere after you wake up.  

- The man of the Hamlet-like dilemma: he doesn’t want to wake you, but he also doesn’t want you to be uncomfortable.  

- If he has something urgent to do, he’ll try to cover your shoulders with something, even just his jacket, to keep you warm while he finishes only the essentials.  

- Once he’s free, he will very gently try to lift you from the chair, apologizing when you wake up and mumble something incoherent.  

Viktor:  

- In the early years of university, it sometimes happened that he found you in his room asleep, slumped over on a chair or bed with your shoes still on.  

- But as the years went by and the lab became his main space, that sight became a constant, repeating at least twice a week.  

- He tries to make as little noise as possible, whether with his aides, the door, or the stack of books and notebooks he needs to organize.  

- Before getting to work, he leaves the room again to bring you your favorite hot drink with a plastic lid pressed on top, so it doesn’t cool down.  

- Then, in complete silence, he works, deciding what to leave for tomorrow and what to do now, so he can finish as soon as possible without delaying too much.  

Ekko:  

- It’s hard to define what exactly a workplace is for Ekko,  

- But he often finds you at the Firelights' tree, in that room that’s supposed to be his, having likely sneaked in through the window to surprise him.  

- There are days when he comes back fairly early but stays to tell stories to the kids, and others when things go wrong, and he returns when it’s already dark, and almost everyone is asleep

- Finding you like this always makes him feel the absence of something more stable

- But he shakes his head and quickly pushes aside doubts about his ideals, stepping out of the room again and making more noise as he enters again, so you wake up, and he can pretend to be surprised in front of your open eyes.  

- By now, you know he steps out and comes back in, but it makes you smile every single time.

Vander:  

- You always sit at a table in the back of the Last Drop to wait for him, trying not to bother him, doodling, doing calculations, or planning something for the next day just to keep yourself entertained.  

- But by now, the sound of drunkards and the clinking of coins and glasses have become background noise that helps lull you into a catatonic state.  

- Vander usually notices after about an hour that you've fallen asleep; he always keeps an eye on you, but sometimes the customers cause problems.  

- He doesn’t like leaving you there, so far away, so he usually waits for a quieter moment to come over, pick you up, and bring you behind the counter, laying you down with your arms and head resting on the wooden bar.  

- He knows it’s not a big improvement, but his priority is to keep you safe.  

- When he finishes working, he closes the bar without doing the closing duties, sets his alarm for earlier than usual, and carries you to your room in his arms, covering your forehead with kisses.  

Silco:  

- The problem with Silco finding you asleep in his office is that he rarely arrives alone.  

- There’s always either Sevika or at least two other henchmen following him.  

- He sighs and sends them away, not without Sevika giving him a provocative look that means everything and nothing.  

- He hates those situations because part of him feels a strange warmth at the thought of you sneaking into his office for whatever reason, but on the other hand, he knows it negatively affects his image to be seen as a leader who tolerates certain insubordinations.  

- Because sneaking into the kingpin’s office is something that would get almost anyone else outside decapitated. But not you.  

- He huffs, pacing the room to deal with both emotions, and when he finally calms down, he approaches you, shaking you slightly to wake you up.  

- It’s certainly not the gentlest gesture on his part, but most of the time, it ends with you either going back to sleep in his bed while he works, or sitting on his lap while he flips through papers without paying them much attention.  

Jinx:  

- She can’t contain her excitement at all. When she notices your figure in her workshop, she always lets out a little happy sound that wakes you up.  

- From there, she immediately starts apologizing at least a thousand times, feeling guilty for waking you up but still too happy that you came to visit her.  

- She helps you up, talking nonstop about her day and anything that comes to mind as she leads you outside.  

- It’s not because she doesn’t want you around, but because she assumes you must be hungry as soon as you wake up, so before you're fully awake, you’ll find yourself at the Last Drop with enough food in front of you to feed her father’s entire gang of henchmen.  

- And she will absolutely feed you herself when she sees you haven’t taken a bite in too long, while stealing food here and there and continuing to talk.  

Vi:  

- For her, too, a "workplace" is a somewhat vague concept,  

- But in return, she has her secret spot, where she hides at night and tries to survive when she’s not out on the streets looking for trouble.  

- Every time she finds you there, she feels an indescribable pang in her heart.  

- She always feels like she’s neglecting the person she loves and failing to make you understand how much she cares about you.  

- She always hesitates before waking you up; sometimes she’ll even go change into clean clothes and wash the grime off her hands and face first.  

- Then she’ll wake you by sitting next to you, giving you a kiss, calling you by a silly nickname only the two of you know, and rubbing her forehead against yours before asking, with a rhetorical smile,  

- "Did you miss me?"

Caitlyn:  

- Sometimes you find yourself in the inner waiting room of the precinct, with her colleagues pointing out your body slumped in the chair and raising their eyebrows, teasing her. Other times, you simply sneak into her room, which isn’t much different from the police station anyway.  

- Every time, she sighs and gently wakes you, her pale eyes a little sad.  

- “Why didn’t you call me?” It doesn’t matter to her that you didn’t want to disturb her, because to her, you’re never a disturbance. It’s not a problem to have you around, even in public. She just feels bad that you waited instead of telling her, so she could have come much sooner.  

- She takes you away from the station without any issues, letting you continue resting against her shoulder as a Kiramman private vehicle takes you both to her home.  

- If you’re already in her room, she usually changes and lies down next to you, taking the chance to nap together, wrapped in each other's arms.  

Mel:  

- Falling asleep inside the Senate? Impossible.  

- But the keys to her office and her room are always in your pocket, and you usually bring her something to eat when you visit, though by the time you fall asleep, both the coffee and the treats are cold.  

- She’s not used to displays of affection, so she stays still for a few seconds before smiling and shaking her head.  

- She doesn’t wake you immediately, not because she doesn’t want to, but because if the sound of the door didn’t wake you, you probably need the rest. So she lets you sleep for at least 30 minutes before coming over, brushing your hair behind your ears to wake you, laughing when you lift your head with your eyes still closed.  

Sevika:  

- The first thing anyone would think is that falling asleep at the Last Drop is extremely dangerous. However, Silco’s henchmen aren’t too different from bipedal dogs by now; they know who you are, recognize your face and scent, and if they notice you’ve fallen asleep somewhere, at least three of them sit at your table to ensure your safety.  

- Sevika is always tasked with the worst imaginable jobs—tedious, long, and often dangerous—so when she finally returns, it’s usually either time to open the bar to the public or time to close it.  

- Even when she sees you, she can’t come to you right away, so she makes a face at whoever is watching over you, as if urging them to protect you better while she heads into the office.  

- Like Silco, part of her feels subconsciously softened by the idea that someone would feel the physical need to be with her so much that they’d wait, sitting until they fell asleep.  

- But on the other hand, she’s terrified that someone might see you and come after you to settle personal scores in a cowardly way.  

- When she finally comes down, she pulls you into her arms without saying a word, holding you under her large cape as she carries you away.  

[sinofwriting]

I ❤️ MILFS - Max Verstappen

Words: 9,747 Summary: Max wasn’t too sure who the woman was that was always with Logan, but he was sure that he wanted to get to know her. Note(s): Sargeant Reader, Age Gap, Older!Reader, Logan and Oscar are both 20 during the 2023 season, not 22. The 2023 driver standings are different (I am giving Logan the season he should have had). Reader has the nickname Pan (short for momma panther). Logan is sweetheart, Max is head over heels in love. I’m gonna be honest I never thought this fic would get written or finished. I got the idea for it back in December but only started writing it on March 16th. And it would have never happened without @burningcupcakefire & @pucksandpower. Thank you both so much for all your help. (also if anyone wants to see more of Max and Pan, let me know)

Masterlist | Support Me! | I ❤️ MILFS verse

Max remembers the announcement of Oscar’s arrival to F1, the drama and hilarity of it. Sometimes he sees the kids name and has to stop himself from laughing. No nineteen-year-old had any business being that funny.

Max doesn’t remember much of Logan’s announcement to F1. Only that he was young as well, being the first American in forever, and Williams' quick admission that they hadn’t wanted to sign, had wanted to wait another year.

He wishes now that he had paid more attention.

There’s a woman standing in the William’s garage, on Logan’s side. She’s clearly there for him, with the similar pass that his trainer has around her neck, and the way her eyes intently follow Logan’s movements around the garage as he talks to the mechanics and engineers.

She also happens to be the most beautiful woman Max has ever seen.

—

She can’t help but clutch at Benny’s arm the whole race, terror gripping her along with pride.

Benny chuckles when the race comes to an end, Logan doing his cooldown lap and she finally lets go. “And just think you’ve got over twenty more races of this.” Her nose wrinkle and a hand goes over her heart that’s thudding. “Please, Benny.” He chuckles again but pats her shoulder. “You’ve got this.” “Not gonna tell me it gets easier?” He snorts. “No. This is far worse than F2 or F3 and we still were both scared watching him out there. We’ll never know a day of peace now.”

She sighs, watching the screens as it shows the top three getting interviewed and in the background you can see some of the drivers getting weighed. “He’s going to be sore and in pain.” It makes something clench inside her, the knowledge that Logan would be in pain. It was part of the job, the aches and the bruises, but it didn’t make it any easier for her to know. “I’ve already got everything set up as soon as he’s back and debriefs are done.”

Her eyes catch on the screen showing where all the drivers placed and tears prick her eyes and she shakes her head. “Twelfth in his first grand prix. I can’t believe it.”

The garage is filled with chatter as the team celebrates getting their first points of the season and their rookie driver performing better than they expected. The way they don’t even try to whisper it makes her jaw twitch. She was grateful that Williams was giving Logan his dream, but she didn’t like how they were going about it. Quickly and publicly stating that they didn’t want to sign Logan yet, wanted to wait a year. And now this.

A light nudge to her ribs makes her unclench her jaw and she gives Benny a grateful smile.

Both of their attention is quickly drawn however to the two Williams drivers entering the garage, the space filling with cheers.

She smiles as Logan grins at the team, basking in the smiles they have on their faces for him and Alex, the pats on the back he’s getting. The grin turns to a beam when he spots Benny and her and he quickly bounces over to them.

A laugh leaves her at the way Benny pulls him into a bear hug, lifting him off his feet a little. “Proud of you, kid.” He murmurs. She can’t hear what Logan says, but he’s put down and it’s her turn.

She wants to bundle him up in her arms, hold him and not let go, but doesn’t want to embarrass him in front of his team, so she raises a hand and pushes his hair out of his face. “You did amazing, baby.” He smiles at her, all bright and shiny eyes and then he’s wrapping his arms around her, hugging her tight and she’s quick to return it, rubbing his back. “You did so good, Logan. So good. I’m so proud.” She tells him again, pressing a kiss to his sweaty head. “Thank you, momma.” He tells her, hugging her tight for another moment before letting her go. She smiles up at him and god, that makes her heart ache. Her son, her baby, taller than her somehow. She woke up some days and still wasn’t sure where the time had gone and how he was taller than her shoulders. “Go shower and debrief and then Benny and me will take care of you, yeah? And I’ll get your favorite ordered to the hotel, ready as soon as you get there.” He beams at her again, darting forward to press a quick to her cheek before starting to rush away. “Best mom ever!” He calls over his shoulder and she laughs.

—

Y/N Sargeant will never forget the first time she held her son, only then at nine years old, he had been her cousin.

Logan was small, wrinkly, pink skin, and full of small cries. She could remember staring at him with furrowed eyebrows, trying to understand how he could be what her baby dolls were made to be like. She remembers her mama having her sit on the couch after asking her if she wanted to hold him and how she had quickly nodded, hoping that maybe holding him would somehow make him look better.

She remembers the sudden nerves that built in her stomach as her mama started to hand him to her. Remembers being scared that she would drop him, remembers thinking how stupid it would be if he was still weird to look at like this.

And she remembers finally holding that and it disappearing. His small cries, no more, his  wriggling calmed down, and his wrinkles no longer looked weird but cute. She remembers holding him for the first time and feeling unconditional love for the first time in her life.

—

She’s twelve when she realizes that her uncle and aunt don’t like Logan much. It didn’t make sense to her then, still doesn’t now. Because they liked Dalton just fine, but not Logan.

She remembers asking her dad about it. Asking him why they didn’t love Logan, but loved Dalton and worse, she remembers the pained look in his eyes as he realizes that his child picked up on what he and his wife had as well.

It’s the first hard adult conversation she has with her parents and it’s fitting that it’s about Logan, as they sit her down and talk to her about how not all parents love their kids, and how sometimes that includes them only loving one child and not the other.

—

She remembers clearly the first time Logan calls her mom.

It’s her fourteenth birthday and she’s got the four-year-old in her lap as she sits in a rocking chair, reading her English essay aloud for him. Logan’s eyes are closed, head resting on her chest, over her heart, and his little fingers of his one hand are curled in her shirt right by his head.

She wants to sit there forever, reading to him as she rocks back and forth. But she wants another slice of cake before Martha puts it away and Logan needs to sleep in his bed where he can stretch out fully and drool on his pillowcases and not her shirt that Martha will surely tut over but then smile fondly when she sees Logan doing it all over again.

Setting the essay down on her dresser, she runs her now free fingers through his blond hair. “C’mon Logan, time for bed.” He grumbles, fingers tightening on her shirt and she can feel it being pulled slightly. “You can put on your new race car jammies, cuddle with Ello.” He shakes his head, squirming a bit in her lap as he tries to shove himself closer. “Stay with you.” “Oh, baby.” She whispers, pressing a kiss to his forehead. “Y’know I’ll stay with you until you fall asleep.” His head shakes again and she has to bite her lip as his head hits her collarbone. “Want cuddles, momma.” Her heart thuds painfully in her chest at the name he called her, tears pricking her eyes. “Okay, baby. Let's get you in jammies, grab Ello, and you can stay with me tonight.”

—

She’s only been eighteen for ten hours when she asks her father for the near impossible.

“I want custody of Logan. I want to adopt him. And I need your help to make that happen.” He stares at her, no expression on his face, not even shock. “He’s,” She pauses, jaw twitching and tears springing to her eyes. “He wants to do karting, just like Dalton. And he’s good at it. I’ve taken him. They told him no. They haven’t bought him clothes in two years. They don’t know a single thing about his school, his grades, his teachers. He hasn’t called David dad since he was six and he hasn’t called Madelyn mom since he was four.” Her hands are formed into fists, nails digging into her palms as she speaks. “I have money, I can provide for him. I’ve got my shares of the company now and I’ve got my inheritance from Grandma Talls. But I know that a judge won’t sign off without some influence.” “Madelyn and Daniel?” She leans forward in her seat, a spark of hope filling her. “I already talked to them, they’ll do it.” One of his hands comes up to rub at his mouth, sighing. Then it drops to open up one of his desk drawers and he’s pulling out a bunch of papers, dropping them on the desk in front of her.

“I figured this was gonna happen and I knew after you talked to them and they called me. They signed away their rights three hours ago. Michael and Lily are waiting outside to come in so you can sign the papers.” Tears slipped from her eyes, joy wrapping itself around her entire being from his words, the fact that he called their family lawyer to be on standby, that he and her mother were so supportive. “Thank you. Thank you so much.” He smiles at her. “I couldn’t say no to you. Not when it comes to Logan. I’m way too young to have a grandkid, let alone one that’s eight, but I made my peace with that years ago.” “Thank you.”

—

Max watches the free practice session coverage intently as they focus on the Williams garage, nose wrinkling when they focus on Logan’s trainer, Benny and then James Vowles. Could it really be possible that they never once caught a shot of her? He starts to get a sinking feeling in his stomach that he's gonna have to go on Twitter when the camera moves and suddenly she’s there and he’s scrambling for the tv remote, pressing the pause button just before the camera switches to an overhead shot of the Bahrain track.

His heart skips a beat as he gets his first good luck at her. Her pretty eyes and smile. His eyes then travel down, wanting to know her name and his heart drops.

Y/N Sargeant, Mother of Logan Sargeant.

Fuck.

—

“Momma Panther!” Oscar greets to the confusion of other drivers as Logan and a woman enter the room.

Lando’s eyebrows are raised as he watches Oscar stand. Watching as his teammate claps Logan on the back, before giving him an actual hug. Before he then hugs the woman as well, whispering something to her that makes her laugh.

Pulling away from her, Oscar grins when her hand comes up to pat his cheek for a second. “Thank you for the invite, Os.” “Of course.” He sends a fond look to Logan, who's standing awkwardly by the table. “Y’know Logan and you are always welcome.” She makes a humming noise. “C’mon, let me introduce you to everyone.”

Turning around, he smirks at the table. “Everyone, Logan.” Charles lets out a laugh, as the others chuckle. He gestures to her, “This is Momma Panther or Pan.” “Y/N or Pan.” She corrects, playfully shaking her finger at Oscar. “I only let the F2 boys call me Momma Pan.” He sighs. “Okay, this is Y/N. Logan’s mom.”

Lando coughs, water going down the wrong pipe. Fernando’s eyes are wide as he looks at her. Charles, George, and Alex are all nodding. Max has a weird expression on his face and Carlos looks dumbfounded.

“She,” Carlos points at her. “Is his,” he points at Logan. “Mother?” Logan moves away from the table to stand by his mom, easily melting into her side at all the attention. The action makes Oscar smile, all too used to the easy affection between the mother and son. “I got pretty lucky right?” She shakes her head. “I’m just happy you weren’t a difficult child.” Logan both blushes and preens at the same time. Carlos shakes his head, disbelief still clear.

“Please, sit.” George says after a moment. “We haven’t ordered yet.”

The seasoned drivers and her watch amused as both Oscar and Logan usher her to sit first. Oscar easily then lets Logan sit next before sitting beside the American. The two of them sharing a grin after.

It makes her shake her head as she turns her attention to the menu, tuning out the sound of conversation picking back up.

The gentle sound of a throat clearing makes her glance to her left.

The current two time world champion smiles a bit awkwardly at her. “Have you been here before?” She shakes her head, turning her head a bit to look at him better. “No. To Australia of course, for Logan’s races and to visit Oscar once, but not here.” He nods and she can’t help but notice the way he swallows harshly. “We started coming here in 2021, it’s good food. Good drinks.” She laughs, “good gin and tonic?” He flushes a little, but laughs. “Yes. Very good. Heavy on the gin.” She nods, “I think I’ll have one of those then.”

Her eyes drift back to the menu, not even wincing at the prices next to the dishes. This was nearly cheap compared to where she had been forced to eat growing up.

“Momma, can we,” “Yes.” She answers before Logan finishes, already knowing what he’s asking. “Also you two, no hard liquor. We have plans tomorrow.” She continues, still looking at the menu.

They wouldn’t get drunk from a few drinks, but she had a feeling that Lando would try to instigate something again with Oscar, making the poor kid so drunk he could barely walk, again. And she didn’t mind people thinking that she was overbearing with Logan and even Oscar. The boys knew that if they really wanted to do something they could, even if she said otherwise. It was one of the nice things about being an adult.

Logan wrinkles his nose, glancing at the drinks part of the menu, before grinning. “They have it.” Oscar glances at what he’s pointing at, shaking his head. “You and your goddamn obsession.” “We come here like once a year.” Logan defends. “And no other country sells it.”

It’s not until after the server leaves, all of their orders taken, that conversation starts again.

“So, Mrs. Sargeant,” Lando starts. “Just Y/N or even Pan.” She sends a fond look to Oscar who had made that nickname stick. “And I’m not married.” She says, amused. “Ah.” “Not married.” Fernando shakes his head. “Now that doesn’t sound right.” She looks at him amused. “Don’t believe in premarital sex?” She teases. The older driver laughs and so do the others. “No. Just hard to believe that you aren’t married. You are a very gorgeous woman.” “Thank you.”

“So,” Lando starts again, giving Max a weird look seeing how his friend is gripping his glass of water. “Will you be coming to all the races?” She nods. “Yes, I have since Logan started his career. Haven’t missed one.” Logan shakes his head, grinning at her. “Nope, not one.” “Your work allows you to do that?” Her lips press together for a second to try and hide her smile at the gentle but obvious fishing they are doing. “I have shares in some companies and a very generous inheritance. So, no true, real work.” “You do some work for Grandpa when we’re in the states.” “I organize his desk for him, which he then messes up as soon as he sits back down at it.”

“You do not mind the constant travel? It is quite tiring.” Charles asks, curious. “No. And once I got Logan in karting, I promised him that I’d make it to all of his races. Maybe in a few years, I’ll stop going to all of them, but I am part of his team as well.” “Manager?” “God, no.” She shakes her head at Carlos’ assumption. “Cook slash nutritionist. Benny, his trainer is amazing, also doubles at being a physiotherapist for Logan, but he doesn’t know how to cook to save his life. So I make their meals.” “Mine as well.” Alex pipes in. “They’re truly amazing, by the way.” “Of course.” “Can you make mine again?” Oscar asks, leaning over Logan a bit to look at her. “I’ve missed having them.” “Sure.” She laughs. “Get me your new sheets before the next race, yeah?” “Done.”

—

Max watches from the corner of his eyes as she takes her first sip of her gin and tonic. Her brows raise a bit when the drink hits her tongue and he has to force his eyes up, to not focus in on her lips, to think about them and what they’d feel like on, he shakes his head. Forcing the thoughts, the ideas away.

“Very heavy on the gin.” She whispers, turning a bit to look at him. He rubs his hands against his jeans. “Do you like it?” “It’s nice.” She smiles. Relief fills him. “Good.”

He continues to look at her, wanting to tear his eyes away but being unable to. She was simply lovely. And getting this closer look at her, he can’t believe that she’s a mother, or at least a mother to a twenty-year-old. It didn’t seem possible. She looked barely older than him. Not at least thirty-five. She was probably more like Fernando’s age as well and he glances at the fellow two world champion, more disbelief filling him. Because how could the two be close in age at all?

—

Logan sighs as he collapses face first onto Oscar’s bed. Laying there for a solid minute before groaning and turning his head.

“Dinner was nice.” Oscar hums and he can feel the bed dip beside him. “You seemed a bit more relaxed.” “No media, and you and Pan were there. A bit more relaxed.” Logan scoffs. “Yeah, because you were so tense with media before.” As he speaks, he reaches out to lay a hand on Oscar’s thigh, giving the muscle a squeeze. “It’s nuts, isn’t it? I mean we all got told that the media was so much more, so different, but…” He trails off, shaking his head. “Yeah.” Oscar sighs and then he’s laying beside Logan, the American luckily moving his hand off and away from the other’s thigh before he lies on it.

“Y’know I have no personality, apparently.” Logan snorts, eyes opening when he hadn’t even realized he had closed him. The Australian driver also has his head turned so they’re looking at each other. “What? Have they never seen a Prema video?” He shrugs as best as he can. “I’d take that over my apparent frat boyness.” “You? A frat boy?” Oscar laughs. Logan sighs as he thinks a bit more about it, the mood turning a bit serious. “I just hope momma hasn’t seen it.” “What happened?” “She’s just worried. Thinks I haven’t noticed, but she’s wondering if she did a good job with me, done enough for me. And she’s given me everything y’know. I can’t imagine what I’d be like with them as my parents.” Oscar moves a bit closer, just a few inches between their faces now. “You’d still be amazing, still great. Maybe a frat boy.” The American rolls his eyes, but he’s smiling.

“I think Fernando has a thing for her. For Pan.” He clarifies. “What?” “I mean, just during the dinner y’know, he kept looking at her. And him calling her gorgeous.” “Well, he’d be dumb and blind to not notice that.” Logan scoffs, rolling onto his back and turning his head to the side, keeping his eyes on Oscar. “I’m being serious.” The younger laughs, poking him lightly. “I think Alonso has a thing for her.” Logan’s face scrunches up in disgust. “Dude, no. That’s gross. Momma isn’t even thirty and Fernando’s like forty-three. And isn’t he dating that journalist?” Oscar’s brows press together. “What journalist?” “The one that gave Fred shit.” “I thought she died?” The two look at each other, both baffled.

Logan thinks again of the journalist he’s seen around Fernando and the one that all of the Prema drivers, former and at the time current, had avoided or given shit statements too. They did look a bit different now that he really thought about it. Fernando’s journalist slash girlfriend didn’t have a fucking complex.

“Different journo.” Logan mutters. He then blinks, “wait, she died?” “Mate, you didn’t hear about that?” “No!” “She was supposed to be at Spa, remember. And we all were relieved when she wasn’t there. She died, car crash or something, I can’t remember.” “How do I not remember this?” Oscar shrugs as best as he can while laying down. “I don’t know.”

It’s silent for a moment, “you don’t think,” “No.” Oscar shakes his head, but he doesn’t sound too sure. “I mean, yeah no.” “Right.” He looks up at the ceiling.

“Okay, so Fernando is out of the running.” Logan groans, “Os, no.” “Look he clearly has eyes, but if he’s dating someone he’s out. He wasn’t the only one looking.” “Oscar, please, it’s my mom.” “She’s like my mom too, which is why we have to talk about this.” Oscar insists, wriggling closer to Logan. Their sides completely pressed together and when Logan turns his head to look at the other, their noses nearly brush. He looks at Oscar’s face, all earnest and caring and sighs. “Fine. Charles was looking, but he only dates one type, so safe from him.” “Lando was looking.” Logan snorts, “I thought this was for potential dates, not another kid.” He laughs, their noses brushing together from the movement. “Okay, no Lando. Max.” “He kind of looked weird when you introduced her.” He frowns. “I saw that too.” “But he also got all blushy when they talked.”

“The drivers do know, I mean Alex knows that she didn’t like birth you, right?” Logan’s frown deepens. “Of course. I mean, it’s not super well known, but it’s a little hard to believe that she naturally had a kid twenty years ago.” “Thought so.” Oscar then chuckles. “Imagine, them thinking that she did, though. Just thinking she’s got some sort of insane skin care routine.”

—

“How in the hell does she look like that with a twenty-year-old kid?” “I know right?” Alex says, looking at Carlos. “It’s insane.” Charles pokes at his own cheek. “I think I need to ask her for advice, what products she uses. I want to age like her.” “We all want to age like her.” George agrees. “What are you saying?” Fernando frowns. A few of them share a look, but Charles and Max share a different one. “Mate, you’ve got wrinkles and all these lines.” Max says. “I mean those are natural, but look at her. The skincare helps.” Fernando frowns, “Lines?” Charles touches at his own lines, “see lines. From smiling, laughing, frowning. All good things, very nice. Just not uh,” his brows furrow drawing a blank. Lando snorts at his struggle. “You just want to help your skin. Keep it healthy.” The older driver makes a humming noise, considering.

—

Her breath is caught in her throat, eyes wide as she watches the screen. Her heart feels like it is beating in double time. She wants to look away, doesn’t want to watch in case something horrible happens, but she can’t. Because Logan just overtook both Magnussen and Ocon in the same lap. Logan is in 9th. Logan is in a point scoring position with only five laps of the race left. Logan might score his first formula 1 points at his home race, at his actual home race, at his first ever home race.

Her hands are shaking, fingers locked together as she presses them against her mouth, trying to breathe, praying that Logan won’t fall back out of the points.

She doesn’t even notice that he’s lessened that gap to Pierre until suddenly he’s overtaken the other French driver, just three laps later. “Oh my god.” “Fuck.” “Benny,” she whispers, and one of her hands is dropping so she can clutch at the older man. “Benny, I think,” “He’s gonna do it.”

And sure enough he does it. Logan holds his place in front of Pierre and finishes in 8th.

“Yes!” The whole garage is cheering and she’s wrapping her arms around Benny, laughing when the trainer lifts her. “He did it! He did it!” She cheers. The garage quiets though as Gaetan starts to speak on the radio.

“Logan, you are on your cooldown lap.” “Got it. Where’s Alex?” She winces at the question, one of her hands grips at Benny’s shoulder as he sets her back down, the other holding onto her headphones that miraculously didn’t get thrown off her head or disconnected when celebrating. “Alex is P14, P14.” It’s quiet for a moment. “Okay, I’m sorry we didn’t get any points today, next race is ours right? The car felt great.” Both of her hands fly up to her mouth. “Logan.” Gaetan’s voice is full of disbelief and laughter. “Mate, you finished P8. You got us points. You got your first points.” She can see him react to the news, the car jerking underneath him for a second, before he wrangles it back under control. “What? What do you mean?” “You finished in P8. Clean race, finished ahead of both Alpines and Magnussen.” “Holy fuck.” The garage fills with laughter at his reaction and tears start to build in her eyes. “You guys,” his voice breaks. “Thank you guys so much. This was you guys, the car felt great, really.” She watches as James hops on the radio. “This was you as well, Logan. Amazing drive today.” “Thank you, James. Thank you so much for this.”

His mechanics, Benny and her, quickly go over to where the cars are parking, watching as Logan slots it into place. He’s a little shaky as he gets out of the car and he’s about to dart towards them but someone from the FIA, is ushering him to the scale.

His reluctance is clear even with his helmet on, but he goes. Letting them take his weight and as soon as it’s written down, he’s stepping off and away, fumbling with his gloves and then his helmet.

There’s an awed grin on his face, tears in his eyes, and seeing it makes the tears that have built in her own fall.

His gloves and helmet tumble to the ground as his mechanics and Benny surround him, celebrating his points.

Logan laughs when they finally let them go and his eyes light up when he sees her and he darts to her and she easily welcomes him into her arms.

“I’m so proud of you.” She tells him, squeezing his sweaty body close before running a hand through his hair. “You did amazing.” “I did it, momma.” His voice is weak and she can feel tears hit the skin of her neck where his head is buried. “You did it.”

—

“Logan did amazing, it was a good drive.” She blinks in surprise at the voice, turning in her barstool to look. “Max?” He smiles at her, cheeks flushed. “He did really well.” “He did.” She agrees before patting the stool next to her. His smile widens as he takes the seat. “I didn’t realize that Red Bull was in the same hotel.” Maybe she should have since she had spotted a few Red Bull polos, but she figured it was fan gear. “I think Aston is here as well. You aren’t celebrating with Logan?” She shakes her head. “We already celebrated. Him, Oscar, and a bunch of his friends here are throwing a party. I wasn’t really interested in watching them all get wasted, so this,” she gestures to the hotel bar, “is me having a drink to celebrate before going up to my room and ordering some room service.” “Could I join you?” His cheeks redden at the words, at the way her eyebrows raise. “Not like that. But for food? I’ve never actually eaten anywhere in Miami that wasn’t catering.” She stares at him for a moment before nodding. “Yeah. And I have the perfect place to take you.”

—

“Did I actually score points yesterday?” “You did.” “Sweet.” “Very. How’s the head?” Logan shrugs, “I mean, I drank a lot, but like I’m just dehydrated.” She shakes her head, “That will change in a few years.” “Not gonna tell me to not drink underage?” He teases, bending down to press a kiss to her cheek before grabbing her glass of juice and draining it. She snorts. “We’re in Europe most of the time and I gave you your first drink. I don’t think I have a leg to stand on. And you were celebrating.” “True.”

He sits across from her, refilling the glass and taking another drink from it before setting it down and starting to help himself to her pancakes, which she just pushes closer to him. “How was your night? You could have joined us. We wouldn’t of minded.” “I’m your mom, Logan.” She laughs. “I think the me going to your friend's parties ship sailed a few years ago.” “Yeah, but you're awesome. We like having you around.” “I know.” She smiles. “I wasn’t in the mood to watch all of you get wasted.” “Fair.” he says around a bite of pancake, which she sends him a look for and he quickly swallows the food. Giving her a smile that says sorry.

“So, how was your night?” “It was good.” She tells him, spearing a piece of fruit with her other fork. “I came back to the hotel, had a drink, and then got dinner with Max.” His brows press together. “Max?” “Verstappen.” She clarifies. “Red Bull is staying here as well, he saw me at the hotel bar and asked if he could join me for some food.”

“You went on a date?” Her eyes narrow at him. “It wasn't a date.” “You went on a date.” He scrambles for his phone. “Oscar is never gonna believe it.” “I go on dates.” “Momma, you’ve gone on like five dates. And two of those were before you turned eighteen.” She scowls at him. “It wasn’t a date. We just got dinner.” She insists. “Uh huh.” He says, clearly not believing her. “Did he pay?” “Yes.” “Pull your chair out, help you with your coat, anything like that?” Her mind flashes back to Max helping her get out of his car, his insistence on opening doors for her. “Yeah, but that doesn’t mean,” Logan continues. “Did he walk you to your hotel room? Say that he had a good time and he’d like to do it again?” “Oh.” Logan grins at her, smug, as he finishes typing out a text to Oscar. “You went on a date last night.” “I went on a date last night.” And she doesn’t mention the fact that a new number resides in her phone.

—

“Logan!” He stops at the sound of his name, turning to look behind him, where Max Verstappen is nearly jogging to catch up with him. “Max.” He greets, when the older driver is next to him, nerves filling him at the eyes of said driver on him, along with how a few other drivers are also looking at the pair, shock and surprise clear on their faces. “Hey.” Max grins. “How are you feeling about the track?” He looks at the older driver in confusion. They had just left the drivers briefing, why was he asking him this? Alex had already spoken about how the team was feeling about Monaco. “The car won’t be the best here, but we said that in Miami, so we’re hoping to repeat that here. Alex has a good chance at ending in a point scoring position.” He reiterates what he's been told and what he’s been telling the press. “But how are you feeling about it?” Logan stares at the Dutchman, eyes flickering around trying to see if cameras are there, if his momma is there, but there isn’t anyone. The other drivers are already gone, so are the FIA people. It’s just him and Max. “Y’know you don’t have to talk to me because you went out with my mom.” He expects relief, like that one dick Jase, and really who puts that on a birth certificate, but Max just frowns. “I know, I don’t have to.” Logan swallows around the lump in his throat, “right.” Turning around, he starts to walk, somehow knowing that the other driver will join him. “It’s a tricky track, it’s Monaco. I was here last year and I barely got in the points.” “P10 and P9.” He throws the driver a look, because that was too much to know, but Max is just looking at him, encouraging him to continue. “The car isn’t suited for it. I mean it wasn’t for Miami, but this is different. And I’m still not managing my tyres correctly, so even if I did manage to gain positions, I’d get called in to pit and lose them.” Max huffs out a laugh. “You are a rookie in a Williams, it’s impressive that you’ve already gotten points. If you could manage your tyres, when sometimes even I struggle, well I’d put you in Checo’s seat.” “Not yours?” He laughs again, “No. I’m a bit better at it than Checo.” Logan couldn’t really deny that.

“Do you want some advice? On the tyres?” Logan quickly nods. “I’ll take anything I can get.” “Don’t fight the car too much on the turns. If you need to get it to turn properly or without going on the brakes too soon, fight it. But when you don’t, let the car be stable, keep it fluid. When you come out of the corner, press harder. It might feel like you’ll go into the wall, but you won’t.” “And if I go into the wall?” Max laughs, clapping him on the shoulder. “I think you're a better driver than that mate.”

—

“How are you doing that in the turns?” Logan looks up from his notebook, where he’d been scribbling a bunch of random words. Looking at the screen, he watches his own onboard. He thinks about saying that it was Max that told, but no one at Williams liked hearing about Red Bull, especially with Alex in the room. “Just something I thought I’d try.” “Well, it was good, continue doing it. We may have ended up out of the points, but we got close.” Logan nods. Even with his five-second penalty, he had still kept fourteenth, and Alex ended up in twelfth. “Will do.”

—

Max had thought about her in his apartment a lot, an embarrassing amount. He had also pictured it very differently. A nice dinner, wine, even though a majority of it made his nose wrinkle, perhaps some kissing on his couch as a movie plays that they both don’t care about.

He hadn’t expected lunch, with juice that he’s trying to figure out how he’s never had it when he’s lived in Monaco for so many years, and a somewhat serious conversation, though maybe he has been expecting that one or rather anticipating it.

“I like you, Max.” He flushes, “I like you too.” He really did, even though his mother was going to have a heart attack when she found out how much older Pan was than him. “And I want to continue doing this.” She gestures between them with her free hand that isn’t being held in his. “So,” sensing that there’s something she wants to say. “I’m a mom.” He blinks at her words, panic starting to fill him. He thought he’d made that clear that he knew that, understood that. He always made sure to ask about Logan. He even had Logan’s number now after talking to him about how he felt about the Monaco track. “I know.” “Logan is important to me.” Oh, god, did Logan not like him? “The most important thing to me. And if we're going to continue to do this, I just need you to know that. He’s always going to be my first priority.” “Of course.” Relief fills him, his heart slows from its frantic beating. “I wouldn’t expect anything less.” She stares at him, trying to gauge how truthful he’s being before nodding. “Okay.”

“Did you think that I didn’t know that?” She shakes her head immediately. “No, it’s just. I don’t really do this.” She laughs. “Dating, relationships. Logan pointed that out to me, so I don’t really know how this goes and I just had to make it clear, put it on the table now.” “I don’t really do this either.” He hesitates to ask his next question, but does. “Logan’s father. What was your relationship with him like?” Her face screws up in disgust. “Ew.” He laughs, not expecting that reply or that word to sum up a relationship. But fair enough.

“I mean the idea of a relationship between me and Logan’s father is gross. Logan’s,” she pauses, seeming to settle on a different word. “Birth parents are my aunt and uncle.” “His what?” He could have sworn she said birth parents, but that couldn’t be right. “His birth parents.” She looks at him, concerned. “I adopted Logan when I turned eighteen. Did you think I gave birth to him?” “No.” He says, shaking head and clearing his throat. “Of course not.” She stares at him, lips pressed together. He sighs, slumping in his seat, eyes closing. “I may or may not have thought you were just a really, really young looking forty-something year old woman.” She immediately bursts into laughter and his eyes fly open at the sound. “You thought?” “The graphic for the race footage says you are his mother, I did not think otherwise. I just thought you looked great for your age.” He defends, a little embarrassed, but delighted by the expression on her face and her laughter that is still filling his ears. “I am his mother, just adopted.” “Not that either of you see it that way.” “No.” She shakes her head, laughing one last time before calming down.

“No. Logan’s mine, he’s been mine practically since he was born. It just wasn’t seen that way legally until I was eighteen and custody got signed over to me.” “Of course.” He then flashes her smile, “So can I ask how old you are?” She laughs, nodding. “Yes, Max. I think just this once it’s better to ask a lady her age than assume it.” “How old are you?” “I’m twenty-nine.” He looks at her with new eyes, the age making much more sense. “I would’ve said twenty-five.” “Really? I think you would’ve said forty-something.” “How was I to know?” He throws his free hand in the air at the tease, his other still holding hers.

—

“Hi, baby.” She greets when Logan stumbles out of his room, practically still asleep, as he drops onto the couch. “Momma.” He whines, resting his head on her lap and turning his face to press it into her stomach, trying to block out the sun. Her fingers brush through his hair as she forces her body to stay relaxed. It was always a fight when he did this.

She hated that her body didn’t bear any signs of being pregnant before, no stretch marks around her belly. She hated that she hadn’t actually gotten to carry Logan no matter how impractical it was, unless of course she was as old as Max had thought she was. She smiles at the memory of how flustered Max had looked when he realized her actual age.

He mumbles something and she turns his face away from her stomach. “What?” “How was your date last night?” Her smile widens. “It was good.” “Yeah?” She nods. “Did you see Jimmy and Sassy?” “No.” She runs her hand over his forehead, knowing that he’s thinking of Sooty. “We should talk though after you’ve had some breakfast.” “About what?” “Breakfast first.”

“What do we need to talk about?” Logan asks nearly thirty minutes later, his fruit bowl all gone and his coffee on its way to be there as well. She swallows, hands flexing. “Max.” “What about Max?” She sighs. “Well, baby, him and I talked about becoming serious last night. But that’s not gonna happen until I know how you feel.” “You know, I’m okay with it.” “I know you're okay with me dating, but this is a bit more complicated. Max is on the grid with you and we’re talking about a relationship.” Logan eyes widen a bit at the word relationship. “I mean, how does Max feel about it? About being with someone who has a kid on the grid?”

He asks knowing it will give him time to figure out how to tell her how he feels and because he wants to know, he kind of wants Max to be okay with it. He likes Max, and not just as a driver. The older driver is kind and funny, he also looks at his mom like she’s the sun, he makes her happy and that’s enough to put him in Logan’s good books. His mom deserves the best and he thinks from what little he’s seen, from how much more happy his mom has been (and god that was weird, because it wasn’t even like she wasn’t happy before) that Max might be the best for her. And Max now every time he sees Logan is always stopping to talk to him even if it’s just for a second to say a quick hi.

“Max is good with it. He knows that you're my number one and that’s never going to change.” Logan flushes at the words. “He also likes you, thinks you're a good kid.” She lets out an amused huff as the word kid leaves her mouth. It was odd to hear Max describe Logan that way, with only five years between them. But at the same time she knew it came from being practically a veteran in the sport. Max was coming up on ten years in Formula 1 despite his young age. He flushes even more. “Really?” “Yeah.” She smiles. “He always asks about you, it’s really sweet. And he knows to that if you aren’t comfortable with this or need more time then that’s what will happen.” “I am an adult.” “You are.” She was sadly well aware of that fact. “But you are my baby, my kid. I couldn’t be in a relationship with someone if you didn’t like them or if it made you uncomfortable.” He nods. “I’m okay with it. Max makes you happy, he’s nice.” “Yeah?” “Yeah.”

—

She lets out a giggle as arms wrap around her from behind, lips pressing against her cheek. “Hi.” “Hi.” Another kiss is pressed to her cheek. “Can I help?” She glances down at what she’s finishing up. “No. You could set the table, though?” “Done.” A kiss is pressed to her temple and then the blanket of heat that covered her back is gone. “What cabinet?” “First one entering the kitchen on the left.” She says, turning her head a bit to watch as Max pulls the dishes out.

Her mouth goes a little dry as she watches him. His t-shirt is tight around his biceps and chest. His skin is a little tanned after their date a few days ago on a friend's yacht. She forces her eyes to not look at his hands, instead trailing them up to his strong shoulders and neck and then to his face. Max, she thinks as he starts to put the plates on the table, is unfairly attractive. Before he can catch her staring, she checks on the final thing on the stove. “Perfectly done.” She mumbles with a smile.

The sound of the front door opening makes her smile grow wider as she grabs a pot holder. “Am I late?” “Just on time.” She tells Logan as he steps into the kitchen. “Can I,” She stops him before he can continue. “No, go wash up.” “Alright.” He bends a little to press a kiss to her cheek before turning on his heel, offering a wave to Max. “Hi.” “Hi, Logan.”

Picking up the pan, she shakes her head as Max goes to try and take it from her. “Logan and you are both going to get on too well.” “Why’s that?” He asks, a twinkle in his eye. “You both don’t like when I lift anything.” “What’s the point of having a son or a boyfriend, then?” Logan says, clapping Max on the shoulder as he comes back. Max grins at the younger, delighted as he claps him back. “Exactly. We feel a bit neglected.” She rolls her eyes, shaking her head, though a smile is stretching across her lips.

—

Max watches amused as the mother and son argue.

“Mom, it would be for two races, two, that’s it.” “One race, really.” Max chimes in, smiling when she glares at him. “Spa is nice, but Zandvoort is really what I consider my home race.” “See, it would be one race. Max wants you in his garage.” Logan says, looking at the other driver, begging for him to help but at the last sentence Max shakes his head. “I never said that. Well, I would like to see Pan in my garage, not for the whole weekend, or even a day. She’s part of your team.” Logan looks at him, bewildered. “But, it’s your home race.” He shrugs. “I’d like for her to stop by, you as well. I already have it cleared with the team. Staying for even a whole session though just doesn’t make any sense. I don’t need her on my side of the garage to know that she’s supporting me, wanting me to do well, not when you are on the grid.” “Are you sure?” Max smiles at Logan, because yes he was sure. Did he want her there, supporting him? Maybe even dressed in something with his number? Of course. But, he liked seeing her in Logan’s garage. Supporting him, wearing his merch, being a mom. “I’m more than sure.”

“Besides,” she says, drawing both of their attention. “Max and I haven’t gone public yet. Or really told anyone yet.”

—

“Well, this is a bit of an odd one.” Laura says as they stop in front of the Red Bull garage. The cameraman focuses on what she’s looking at. “Both Logan Sargeant and his mother, better known as Pan from Formula 2 fans, are in the Red Bull garage, currently talking with our current championship leader Max Verstappen, his engineer GP, and Daniel Ricciardo.” “Shall I see if I can steal one of them away?” Will asks, smiling at the camera as he holds the F1 TV microphone loosely. “Please.” She gestures.

Will steps towards the garage smiling at the small group hovering just inside. “Could I steal one of you for a quick minute?” The five exchange a look and Will stops himself from rolling his eyes at the way they all look annoyed at the idea, but Logan nods. “Sure.” “Thank you.”

He watches as Logan says something quietly to them, getting nods from them all. His brow furrows when Max squeezes his shoulder before the younger driver gives his mom a quick hug, making him shake his head. Logan Sargeant was an absolute mommy’s boy and it was embarrassing as all hell to see. He couldn’t imagine being twenty and hugging his mom in public, let alone all those videos and photos of him reaching for her hand.

Will ignored the part of him that did think it was sweet and felt bad for the kid. He couldn’t look all sappy while filming, especially not when in front of the Red Bull garage.

“Hi everyone.” Logan greets, taking the third mic from the newest crew member. “Hello, Logan. How are you feeling about this weekend?” He smiles at Laura. “I’m feeling okay, I’ve raced here before, obviously not in an F1 car, but I do have some experience with this track.” “And you and your mum’s visit to the Red Bull garage, should we expect an announcement of you switching teams?” She teases. “No.” He laughs. “No, uh, just visiting for personal reasons. Saying hello to Daniel, wishing Max a good home race.” “I mean, I’m not sure, he needs it.” Will jokes, gaining a few laughs. “So, no business to be done at Red Bull? Just saying a hello and wishing a good race to a fellow driver.” “Yeah,” he pauses, looking back at the garage where it’s just Max and his mom standing now watching him with smiles on their faces. It’s only that he continues when his mom gives a brief nod, one barely able to be seen by the camera. “And I wasn’t just wishing a fellow driver good luck.” “Oh?” Logan grins, looking pleased with himself. “I was wishing my new dad good luck.”

—

“Carlos Sainz is a cunt.” Max freezes at her words, hand still on the doorknob from just stepping into the room. “Hi, schat.” “Carlos Sainz is a cunt.” She repeats. His brain is scrambling because what exactly had Carlos done but also why was it so attractive to her say the word cunt. It had to be the accent, he decided quickly, still trying to figure out the Carlos thing. “And why is Carlos a cunt?” He finally asks, releasing the door knob and stepping further into the room.

She’s on her laptop, rapidly typing something, and he can feel anger radiating off her.

“That bullshit he spewed, blaming Oscar’s inexperience.” She scoffs, pausing her typing as she shakes her head. “It was an incident, a racing incident, something he knows a lot about. There was no inexperience fault.” “Oscar’s okay?” He already knows that he is, but knows it's good to ask. “He’s good. He knows that it's a racing incident.” Max winces. Wonders for a second if he should warn Carlos to keep his mouth shut, but shrugs. It wasn’t his fault that Carlos was getting in trouble because he couldn’t watch his mouth or correctly look at footage. “Can I help?” She sighs, hitting close on whatever she was writing in. “No.” She then closes her laptop, turning to face him, with a smile. “Hi. Congrats on the win.” “Thank you.” He bends to kiss her. “You okay?” “Yeah, just,” she waves her hand at her laptop, “stuff.” “Anything I can help with?” She starts to shake her head no as he sits on the edge of the bed, but she stops. “Actually, could I get your insight on something? Not just as a driver, but as someone who lives and breathes racing, loves data, really knows how the sport works.” “Of course. What’s going on?”

Another sigh leaves her, hand coming up to rub at her mouth for a second before it drops. “Why would a team not resign a driver?” His eyebrows furrow, because she knows the reasons, but he answers. “Not performing well, they want out of the team or sport, sponsorship issues.” “The driver wants to stay in the sport and the team.” Her lips turn downwards a bit at the word team. “And the driver brought new sponsorships to the team.” “They have to be not performing well.” “They’re a rookie in a back marker team.” “They have to be really performing badly.” Max says, trying to think of who in Formula 2 or 3 she’s talking about. “They already have six points and have placed ahead of their experienced teammate three times.” His mind is scrambling again, trying to find a reason, because what? “How many does his teammate have?” “Nine.” “I have no idea. Not unless there’s conflict within the team.” She shakes her head. “Is there potentially a more experienced driver for the spot?” She shakes her head. “They’re looking at another rookie or maybe someone who stepped away from the series for a year, though they’d rather take a rookie than him.” “I don’t have an answer for you. It doesn’t make sense to me.” She nods, expression falling and she’s rubbing at her face.

“What’s going on?” He asks, standing up just to crouch down in front of her, taking her hands in his. “The driver’s Logan.” “What?” “Williams isn’t sure they want to offer Logan another year.” Max stares at her. “How?” “I don’t know.” She shrugs, laughing. “There’s talks of them signing whoever wins this F2 championship or even the runner-up depending on who it is. Logan’s making too many mistakes.” “He’s costing them too much money.” Max fills in the blank, shaking his head. “That’s ridiculous. Don’t take a rookie if you can’t afford it. You are supposed to account for the worse. And he’s doing well. It’s not his fault that they built a shit car.” “I don’t know what to do.” She admits, voice just a whisper, and his heart clenches painfully at the sound of it, at the tears in her eyes. “This is his dream. I don't know what to do if that gets taken away from him.” “It won’t. We’ll figure something out.” He tells her, pressing a kiss to her forehead.

—

“I think I’m spoiled.” Max says, watching as she gets ready for bed. A faint feeling of arousal pooling his gut as she pulls on one of his shirts. He absentmindedly wonders if it would be weird to wear it tomorrow to the track, the scent of her lotion clinging to it. “Why’s that, honey?” He smiles, cheeks a bit pink, and that arousal builds a bit more at the pet name, at the way she shifts in the vanity chair to loosen some tension in her back. “You come to every race, you see me win, you celebrate them, you got to see me win my third championship today.” Those words feel weird off his tongue, today, but totally sober to celebrate. He wants desperately for tomorrow to come, for the race to finish so they can celebrate, him, her, Logan, the team. “I guess you are a bit spoiled.” He gasps, clutching at his heart, making her giggle. “That’s okay though.” She says, getting up and moving onto the bed, straddling him. “I think I like you spoiled.” He groans as she dips her head, pressing a kiss to the flutter of his pulse. “Schat.” It's a warning to stop and a plea for more. “I know.” She kisses the spot a bit firmer. “Celebrations will have to wait just a day longer.” She then rolls off him, his arm immediately lifting so she can press against his side.

“It’s cruel to win with a sprint race.” She snorts, “A sprint race never stopped us before.” “It’s cruel to win with a sprint race in Qatar.” He amends. “Very true.”

He sighs, staring at the ceiling as he calms down, luckily the feeling of her fingers tapping along his stomach not making it harder. “How’s Logan feeling?” Max asks, remembering how pale he looked when they got dinner. She sighs, moving somehow closer. “Not great. No fever, but his stomach is still a bit upset.” He winces. “He gonna be okay tomorrow?” “I hope so. The team knows that he’s sick, they’ll make the right choice.” “I hope so.” He echoes, wishing that Logan felt better, hoping that he feels better by the time the race starts.

—

“We are confident in him.” Max scoffs, tossing his phone aside. “I know.” “Logan still wanting to do his new routine.” She nods, lips pursed. He shakes his head. “He did good.” It wasn’t the rookie season that Oscar had, but it couldn’t be. Oscar got lucky enough to get a seat in a near top team, while Logan got one with a back of the grid team that was sometimes midfield.

Logan scoring ten points, getting himself to sixteenth in the standings, tied with Bottas in the standings, was very good for a rookie. It was a shame that Williams seemed to think he could’ve and should have done better. At least, Max thinks, the 2025 grid was wide open for possibilities.

“Are him and Oscar still joining us?” She throws him a look. “Us?” “You.” He amends, knowing that despite him joining her, he’d get caught up in Redline and different things. He was just happy she didn’t mind that. “Only for a few days and then they both are off to Australia.” “Will Logan be joining us for Florida?” “Yes. My mom has been asking the next time she’s going to see her only grandchild.” Max laughs at the eye roll. “So, Belgium first, then Monaco,” “You go to Milton for a day after.” He nods, “then Greece, Florida, Monaco.” “Not bad for the first few weeks of winter break.” “Not bad at all.” He agrees, wrapping his arms around her waist, chest pressed against her back.

It’s quiet between the couple as Max sways them.

“Max.” “Yes?” “Your mom, she does know that I’m not in my forties right? Or thirties?” She figured that the woman did, but she also had only briefly gotten to meet her at the one race, and there had been an odd expression on her face when Max introduced her as his girlfriend. He freezes. “Max.” “I knew I forgot something.”

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