#i’m tired of being silenced and censored in this place

[i-am-distressed]

JJK Boys getting accidentally flashed by their Girlfriend

Characters: Megumi, Itadori, Yuta, Noritoshi, Nanami, Toji, Naoya, Geto, Gojo, and Sukuna

Warnings: Implied 'nudity' cause, y'know, getting flashed. Naoya + Sukuna, Yuta’s turned out very detailed and warning for his cause curses are gross, mentions of injuries/implied blood, Noritoshi’s is eXTREMEly self-indulgent, allusion to sex in Toji’s and Sukuna’s but nothing explicit or suggestive (obviously), you guys are married in Toji’s, Naoya’s and Sukuna’s. Kids in Naoya’s, cursing in Sukuna's but I 'censored' it :)

**I write Naoya and Sukuna with some necessary changes, please hold your judgement☺ These are long but give it a chance-**

Fushiguro Megumi:

Due to his job as a student/Jujutsu Sorcerer, Megumi was usually pretty tired when you guys got to hang out.

So, the first thing you guys typically did when you met up after school was nap for a good hour or two.

Which worked out well for both of you since he finally got some rest and you got cuddles and a chance to play with his hair.

On this particular afternoon, Megumi had basically crashed the minute he hit the bed, you not far behind to lay on his chest while he zonked out on his back.

It had been just about 2 hours when he woke up, one hand going up to rub his eyes while his other arm wrapped around you to hold you tight.

You smiled when you felt him moving, turning ever so slightly to give him a small peck on his shoulder.

He smiled and turned to look at you, only to see that while he was sleeping you had changed into a loose tank top. A loose tank top that had...shifted, to give your boyfriend a view you had not intended to give him.

He was so flustered he didn’t realize how red the tips of his ears had gotten and how wide his eyes had gotten, not to mention the fact he hadn’t said a word.

Thinking he had fallen back asleep, you looked up only to see your boyfriend seemingly stuck in time as he looked at something.

Following his gaze you gasped, rushing to fix your shirt.

That seemed to snap Megumi out of his daze, that and your non-menacing ‘pervert’ you muttered, it’s not like you really cared (you were more embarrassed than anything) but the opportunity to tease was much too good to pass up.

“I- hEy! It wasn’t on purpose! You’re the one that flashed me…”

“I don’t know Megumi...you were awfully quiet for awhile there, didn’t even warn me😔”

You may or may not have gotten hit with a pillow following that remark.

Itadori Yuji:

You and your boyfriend Yuji were celebrating your two year anniversary, and this year you had both decided on going to an amusement park!

It was a pretty hot day, and you’d be walking a lot so you decided on a cute loose t-shirt and shorts and some walking shoes.

You guys had just gotten on this rollercoaster, and from the looks of it this one was going to be fast.

The ticking as you went up the first and very tall hill did nothing to quell the excitement/fear you were feeling, and it also did nothing to keep you from taking your boyfriends hand in yours.

After that first drop, it wasn’t too bad! But it was definitely on the faster side.

You guys were almost done, the end was in sight.

You turned to ask Yuji what ride you should do next when one sharp turn caught you off guard and flipped your shirt up into your face.

Right when Yuji had just so happened to have turned to talk to you.

Trying to ignore the utter shame you felt you tried to fix your shirt, your boyfriend then leaned over you to stop anyone from getting a peak as the car pulled back to the start.

You felt so embarrassed after it, but when you tried to apologize he just shook his head, gave you a kiss on your cheek and grabbed your hand to drag you off to the next ride.

Okkotsu Yuta:

**Unlike the others, this happened before the two of you started dating, you were still just really good friends**

You and Yuta had been sent out on a mission together.

You were a little nervous since it would be your first time going against a special grade, but you were confident you’d be able to do your part. Plus, having Yuta there was helpful in more ways than just his power.

The fight was a tough one, this curse you guys were fighting kept breaking the ground and shooting debris everywhere, it was easily blockable and it really wasn’t that dangerous.

But it did prove irritating.

Along with making tears everywhere in your jacket and skirt, you had been left with no choice but to kill the curse when it was up close and personal, so you were also covered in gross stuff.

To keep yourself from throwing up then and there, you unbuttoned your top and shrugged it off your shoulders, wincing at the cuts that had amassed during the fight.

You planned to quickly exchange it with the spare you kept in your bag, the debris had caused a bunch of dust which was acting like a curtain to shield your half-naked self from the eyes of the world.

But most importantly, from the eyes of your crush.

Unfortunately for you, your bag had gotten caught under a somewhat heavy piece of concrete.

Which would be no problem for you to lift if you hadn’t run through a fair amount of your cursed energy.

In your exhaustion, you must have made your struggle known with the grunts and obvious sounds of struggle you were making.

Yuta, who had a radar for you on anyway, heard this and started making his way over to you since he’s a considerate lad and you could be hurt!

You had just gotten it off the ground when it finally shifted enough for you to get your bag out, and you, being ever so coordinated, stumbled backwards.

Right into the open arms of Yuta, who immediately went red when he realized you were no longer wearing a shirt.

His jaw dropped as he tried to form a sentence, say something, anything to make sure you knew it was an accident.

Poor guy was so scared you thought he was a creep, he couldn’t look you in the eyes for almost 3 days.

That is until Maki locked you both in a room until one of you confessed💖

Kamo Noritoshi:

(This one may or may not be self-indulgent since I’m a clutz-)

You and Noritoshi had been sent to get something from the principal’s office by Utahime.

You were walking in front of him, paying little to no attention as to where you were walking as Noritoshi lost years off his life watching you stumble and almost trip.

So, okay, maybe you were a little bit clumsy, so what?

“Y/n, would you please be more careful? You’re going to fall.”

You turned your head to look at your boyfriend with an unimpressed look on your face, continuing to walk as he was even more on edge now that you definitely weren’t looking where you were going.

“Have a little faith in me, would you? I’m not that clumsy-” Just then, your foot caught a root perfectly, resulting in an untimely fall to the ground.

Which, thanks to years of falling face-first, you were more than prepared for.

Noritoshi, who felt his heart stop, quickly went to aid you, only to realize that your skirt had shifted with your fall, leaving you partly exposed to the world.

Partly exposed to him.

He quickly made his way to your side, helping you up as you laughed and dusted yourself off, noting the quietness of your boyfriend.

Usually when this happened, and he was quiet, you’d be in for a lecture.

But this time you noticed he was quiet...but he was also blushing.

You guys continued walking, you definitely weren’t complaining about not being told off, but you weren’t a fan of his silence. And...since when did Mr. Blood manipulation blush…?

“No lecture today?”

Noritoshi, who had been very deep in thought almost jumped at your voice, huffing as he tilted his head downward and picked up his pace a little.

“No tights today?”

You stopped at that because...he typically didn’t care what you wore, he was actually pretty laid-back except when it came to your safety.

“It’s August...so no?”

“Then i’d recommend you be a little more careful, had it been somebody else walking behind you, they would have seen something they shouldn’t have.” Your eyes narrowed at his words because...what was he talking about??

Sensing your confusion he turned towards you, eyes cracked open and a small smirk on his face. Leaning in close, he whispered.

“When you fell, your skirt lifted.”

And proceeded to walk ahead and into the principal’s office, leaving you in a whirlwind of emotions with no idea how to process them.

Nanami Kento:

You were over at Nanami’s place, in his kitchen cooking dinner with him.

You guys didn’t get to have dates often, but thankfully you guys both had tonight free. And seeing as you both have been busy, a home-date sounded nice to both of you.

Nanami was working on opening a bottle of wine while you were fiddling with the stove top.

Nanami had recently moved into this apartment, and it was really nice. But the oven was much different from yours, so it was taking awhile for you to get used to it.

You had finally gotten it on and you put the frying pan on the burner to heat up.

You turned your back to it and leaned against the nearby counter, appreciating the view you had of your boyfriend’s back and biceps.

It was safe to say you were distracted.

So distracted, that you didn’t notice that the shirt you were wearing had been just close enough to the burner that it had caught on fire.

You felt your hip getting a little warm, so you looked down and gasped when you saw that you were literally catching on fire.

You scrambled to rip the shirt off you, throwing it in the thankfully empty sink as you turned the water on, successfully avoiding a major problem and any serious injuries.

Shaking your head, you turned to your lover with an apology ready on your lips, only when you met his eyes, he quickly turned around.

Clearing his throat, he returned to his previous task of cutting the vegetables while he instead nodded his head towards his room.

“You can wear one of my shirts, they’re in the second drawer.” You nodded and made your way into his room, shaking your head to try and rid yourself from any further embarrassment and cool down your overheating face and neck.

Little did you know, Nanami was trying to cool down the burning red on his own face, as well as trying to focus on the vegetables.

Fushiguro Toji:

**In this you two are married and you’re Megumi’s momma**

You guys had recently adopted a cat from a nearby shelter, Toji didn’t want a cat, but between the puppy eyes of not only his young son but his wife, he was never walking out of the shelter without one.

Only, you didn’t walk out with one, since the cat Megumi chose was a female, and pregnant.

So now you guys have 4 cats.

Your kittens were older now, just about 4 months. So you and Megumi would let them out during the day (supervised and with their momma of course) and bring them back in at night. Toji didn’t really care what you did with them since they made you both happy (and it kept you both occupied-).

Toji had come home from a particularly grueling day at work, his shoulders were stiff and he had a small headache, and all he really wanted was to drag you to the bed so he could sleep on top of you while you ran your fingers through his hair and he could finally get some decent sleep.

Does he get that? No.

What he does get is you and Megumi yelling up the tree in front of your house for “Cat! Come down from the tree!” ‘Cat’ was the name of the kitten you and Megumi had forced Toji to name since ‘he had to have one too’, even though it was really just so he had no choice but to let you two keep them all.

Sighing he walked over to you both, ruffling Megumi’s hair and giving you a kiss before he stuck his hands in his pockets and asked the question he didn’t want, or need, the answer to.

“*sigh* what happened?”

Frowning, you looked back to the tree and pointed, revealing the small kitten who had managed to get herself, or himself he couldn’t remember, stuck on one of the lower branches.

“Well, he’ll come down eventually.”

You smacked his arm as Megumi’s eyebrows pinched together, little arms crossing in front of his chest, “It’s a she, daddy. And she’s just a baby! You have to get her down!”

Groaning he brought a hand up to rub his eyes, “There’s no way i’m getting up that tree, I’m way too big, and daddy’s tired”

Pouting, Megumi stood in front of his dad (Let’s say Megumi is 3~), little hands tugging on his pants leg, a little “please daddy?” coming from his trembling lips.

“No, daddy’s right, he’s too old to get in the tree,” You smirked at the glare you got from your husband, “But, if daddy helps me, I can get in the tree.”

So, that’s how you ended up in a tree, gently handing ‘Cat’ down to your husband, who quickly passed her down to Megumi, and found yourself struggling to get down.

You and Megumi had been out and about earlier, and you were wearing a comfortable dress that day, so being in a tree was less than ideal.

With the promise of Toji catching you, you jumped, not expecting the wind to carry your dress, and unintentionally giving your husband a show. Luckily, your son was much more interested in the kitten.

You felt your face heat up as you quickly fixed your dress, your husband just laughed with a ‘nothin’ I haven’t seen before babe’ which was quickly followed by an ‘ow!’ when you smacked him. </3

Zen'in Naoya:

You and Naoya were preparing to have dinner together.

He was sat at the table, finishing up some paperwork while you finished up the food.

Your 2 children, your 5 year old son and 3 year old daughter, were also sat at the table. Your children both telling their father about their days while he listened. (I know he’s literally awful, but if I can pretend Toji isn’t an awful father, I can pretend Naoya isn’t an awful person✌😌)

“And then, Momma told the guy off! It was awesome daddy!” Naoya raised his eyebrow with the smallest hint of a smile tugging the corner of his lip up. “Oh? Did he start crying too?” You gave your husband ‘a look’ while you walked to the table, setting the first dish down on the table before you turned to get another.

Your son giggled, “Like a baby!” Naoya chuckled, shaking his head as he took a sip of water.

He couldn’t help but think back to your younger days, specifically the day the two of you met when you told him off, the day you changed him, and finally the day you made him cry as you walked towards him down the aisle.

“I bet, Your mother has a habit of making men cry.” You sternly called his name from the kitchen as he snickered, your kids breaking out into their own fits of giggles.

You walked back into the dining room carrying in the last dish, shaking your head as you lightly bumped him with your hip as you passed him, him lightly patting your butt as you walked by. “Stop feeding my kids lies.”

He just smirked as he lifted his glass to his lips, he was in the middle of taking a sip when you bent down to place the dish on the table, your shirt dipping low to the point your chest was on show, giving your husband an, albeit welcome, unintentional view.

Choking on his drink, he set the cup down in favor of beating his chest with his fist, you coming over to rub his back, your children looking over in confusion cause...what the heck dad, that was weird.

“What happened? Do I need to get you a sippy cup?” Glaring at you he was finally able to stop coughing, you patting his back as you went back to your seat and sat down.

You raised an eyebrow at him, since he had still yet to tell you why he had suddenly choked on his water. But it was then you noticed just how red his face was, and how low his gaze was.

Looking down and realizing your shirt had drifted down, you fixed it and smirked, struggling to hold in the laughs and snorts that were sure to explode out of you.

Even after almost a decade of marriage, it was good to know you could still make your husband blush like a teenage boy.

Geto Suguru:

You and Geto had gone out on a date!

It was a nicer place, so you were wearing a cute spaghetti strapped dress with some nice shoes, and he was wearing a button down with slacks (sleeves rolled up to his forearms of course🥵).

You had just finished dinner and were now on the walk home.

All night you had been paranoid about your dress, you had gotten it when you and a friend had gone thrift shopping. It was honestly in pretty good condition, the only problem was that the dress’ straps had a good amount of wear on them, so the straps weren’t really that great, and you could feel them loosening as the night went on.

BUT, you were going home now, so it really didn’t matter much anymore.

Geto was lightly swinging your hands between you both as you told him the recent drama you had learned at work.

You were holding your uncomfortable shoes in one hand, and obviously Geto’s hand in the other, so your hands were occupied.

“You would not believe how messy that got. In case you ever think about cheating on me, just remember that man’s gonna be finding glitter in his car for at least a few decades.” Geto laughed as he shook his head, nudging your shoulder with his, “Good thing we don’t have to worry about that, I’m not dumb enough to cheat on my crazy girlfriend.” You made a ‘hmph’ sound and nodded, “Crazy for you~” and laughed when he shook his head.

You guys kept walking, discussing whatever topics came up.

You were almost home, so close to freedom. You called Geto’s name, about to tell him something you had remembered, when you both heard a faint *snap*.

Guided by the rush of cold air you felt hit your chest, you looked down and gasped, you would’ve been quicker to cover yourself except for the fact that both of your hands were occupied.

Working quickly because...you both were still in public, Geto let go of your hand and shrugged his jacket off, draping it around you and grabbing ahold of your hand when you were covered.

You apologized for flashing him and he shook his head, obviously it wasn’t your fault and it’s not like he was complaining.

Gojo Satoru:

Due to a particularly bad run in with a cursed spirit, your usual uniform was trashed, so you had to wear your backup uniform, which also ran small.

All day, you had been fighting with your skirt. It was too tight and too short, and was providing you with a substantial amount of stress.

It was lunch, you were half way through the school day, half a day away from going home and getting to wear your sweatpants.

“Oh Y/n~” Half a day from getting rid of the walking headache you called your co-worker.

Sighing, you stopped from where you were walking in the hallway, turning to face him you raised an eyebrow. “Yes Satoru?”

So, yes, you were ‘co-workers’ and yes, you were technically just friends.

But there was also a painful amount of mutual pining and tension that hung between you two.

“Hey, hey, what’s with the attitude? You’ve been like this all day, it’s gonna start hurting my feelings.” You grimaced as you once again adjusted your skirt, “Yeah, well, you’d be a little irritated if you had to keep fixing your skirt every 2 seconds.”

Gojo hummed, “I can imagine, so, care to join me for lunch?” You replied with a ‘sure’, and the two of you made your way to the teacher’s lounge, side by side.

You walked to the fridge and pulled out your lunch, Gojo not far behind you and you both did the necessary prep you needed for your food.

Gojo finished just barely before you, and was already sitting on one of the couches, happily digging into his food.

Once the microwave stopped you pulled your food out and started walking over to the couch.

You sat down, carefully, and began to eat your lunch.

Despite causing you mass amounts of pain and most likely a gray hair or 2, you thoroughly enjoyed spending time with Gojo, I mean, you were kinda in love with him.

“Ah, Satoru, Y/n, just the two I needed to see.” Gojo’s (likely inaccurate) account of his latest mission came to a pause when Principal Yaga walked in.

He had some information about a mission the 2 of you would be going on in 3 days. Apparently this one would be an undercover mission, and a few days.

During the conversation, Gojo (who tries to always have one of his six eyes on you at all times), had noticed your skirt riding up, and seeing as he liked you, the last thing he wanted was for you to embarrass yourself in front of you guys’s boss.

Keep in mind, it’s not like Gojo was having a great time either, you were sitting right in front of him, but it’s not like he could interrupt the principal and loudly announce you were about to expose yourself.

Thankfully, Kusakabe walked in at that moment, stealing just enough of his time for Gojo to catch your attention (like he didn’t already have it🙄) to mouth ‘Your skirt’ while he made a subtle tugging motion with his hand, going back to like nothing happened and stealing the attention of the men while you fixed your skirt.

That mission may or may not have preceded your first date with him.

Sukuna Ryomen:

You and Sukuna would be going on a date tonight, and you had spent the last half hour or so getting ready.

Your hair and make up was done, you had showered earlier, and all you had left to do was get dressed.

You had gotten dressed in your underwear when your mom had called.

You didn’t get to speak to you often and it had been awhile since you had talked, so you spent a good amount of time catching up and filling each other in on the things you had missed.

It had been about 15 minutes, you were sitting down at your vanity, pants on but still no shirt (hey man, a distraction is a distraction, let me have this i’m tired-).

You were so caught up in your phone call you hadn’t noticed that Sukuna had walked into your shared apartment.

He called out to you, but you didn’t answer. He would’ve been more worried than irritated if he didn’t hear you talking on what he presumed to be the phone.

If he knew you weren’t ready yet, he would’ve knocked, but seeing as you were on the phone, the last thing he expected when he opened your bedroom door was to see you half-naked sitting on your vanity stool like this kind of thing was normal.

“Sh*t. Warn a guy, will you? I’m not complaining but you near gave me a heart attack.” You screeched as you almost threw your phone, apologizing to your mom, you glared at Sukuna as he gave you a look that tip-toed between amusement and bewilderment.

“What, it’s not like I haven’t seen your-” You threw your pillow at him before he could finish his sentence, with your mom of all people listening to your conversation.

You two might have been married, but the last thing you needed was your mom pestering you about grandchildren again.

In case you’re wondering, he was laughing the whole time as you beat him with said pillow for saying those kind of things to your mother.

[xoxo-teddybear]

The Silent Treatment - Bakugou Katsuki

Bakugou x f!reader

Warnings: slight angst, slice of life, crack(ish?), fluff, cursing

Summary: Bakugou is very much....an asshole. A shithead. A professional dick if you will. And Y/N, being his girlfriend is very much aware of that. So when he takes it too far, she has to make sure he learns his lesson.

A/N: just a quick lil cute thing, totally not spelled check

BAKUGOU’S MASTERLIST

“Hey babe!” Bakugou said as he walked into the living room to find his girlfriend reading a book. He plopped down next to her and just relaxed in the feeling of the soft cushion. The little shit felt like messing with his girlfriend today.

Y/N had already been having a pissy day. After arguing with her boss, forgetting a few items back at the grocery store, and losing her new pair of headphones, she just wanted some peace with her cup of tea and a good book. Now, she has her loving boyfriend to comfort her as well. This day was surely taking a turn...right?

“Hi love, need something?” You asked calmly with the most melodic voice. Your voice. His favorite sound in the world. The sound of you just put a smile on his face which is a huge oxymoron to what this motherfucker is about to say.

“Nah, just wanted to talk to my princess,” he said while resting his head on your stomach, resting in between your legs and wrapping his arms around your waist. You awed at him but didn’t notice his little devil smile. “I had the best dream last night.”

“About what Suki?” You asked while petting his soft hair.

“You.”

“Awweee,”

“Yeahhh. You went mute for the day. Fucking paradise.” Once the words left his mouth you stilled your actions and felt your eye twitch in annoyance. Your hand on his head stilled and slightly tugged at it. In any other circumstance, Bakugou would’ve groaned at the tug (kinky bastard) but he was too busy chuckling into your tummy.

You exhaled roughly through your nose and pushed Bakugou off of you in a very polite way. He rolled onto his back onto the actual couch and watched as you crossed your legs, close your book, and pick up your tea mug.

“Hmph!” Was all that you “said” as you tilted your nose to the air and walked away. Bakugou just snickered as you left. He thought it was adorable when you were mad over tiny inconveniences and thought it was hot as fuck when you were yelling at him, but today, you won’t be doing neither.

—

About 30 minutes had passed and Bakugou had awoken from his nap on the couch. He fell asleep after you walked away but now missed your touch. He sat up, stretched, and went to find you. He walked around the house until he spotted you relaxing in the jacuzzi in the backyard. He grinned at your relaxed look and went to change.

A few minutes later Bakugou had came out to join you in the hot tub. Your eyes were shut as you relaxed in the bubbling water, and so Bakugou was able to get in without being seen. He relaxed into the water as he scooted closer to you, eventually grabbing a hold of your waist.

“Hi baby,” he said as he attempted to place you in his lap but you looked at him with an unimpressed look as you scooted away. “Y/N?”

You grabbed your towel and stepped out of the tub. You wrapped yourself in the cloth as you walked back into the house, completely ignoring Bakugou as he spoke to you.

“Wha- you’re just gonna leave? I just got in with you,” he pouted. He opted to stay in the nice warm water for a bit but once you closed the door he groaned and sunk deeper into the water. He let the water go just above his mouth and right below his nose as he blew bubbles into the tub out of annoyance.

‘The fuck is up with her?’ He thought to himself.

—

Time passed and Bakugou came out the tub. He went back to his room to change into some gray sweats and a black long sleeve (and yes he pulled the sleeves up a bit because he knew you found it attractive and if y’all don’t, well I do).

He walked into the kitchen and spotted you seemingly eating dinner. He noticed a plate for him but kind of frowned at the fact that you didn’t wait for him. He saw you placed the plate on the other side of the island, far away from you, and so he pulled the plate over and took the seat next to you.

“Hey, princess? You gonna tell me what’s wrong?” He asked but you said nothing as you just ate in silence. “Silent treatment huh?” No words.

“Baby, is this about what I said? I was only kidding Y/N,” he said as he tried to wrap his arm around your waist but you pushed it off and he groaned. “Fine. Be that way, you’ll get over it. Come talk to me when you’re done acting like a brat.”

Bakugou just grunted as he ate his dinner in silence right next to you. You finished before him and walked away after you washed your dish and this time it was Bakugou who snubbed his nose in the air at you. If it was the silent treatment that you were gonna give then it was the silent treatment that you were gonna get....sorta.

—

“BABYYYY PLEASSEEEEE!!” He whined while poking at your leg. You were currently in your home office typing away at your computer doing work when Bakugou came in about 25 minutes after he finished his dinner. He couldn’t help himself. He missed you.

You continued to ignore Bakugou as he poked and shook you for attention. You gave him nothing all day and he was getting close to his limit. Please believe he wasn’t getting shit after that brat comment.

“Princessss, c’mon! It was a joke baby, let’s go to sleep, yeah?” He begged. You looked at him with a bored expression and saw his smile as you finally gave him something. You turned back to face your computer and his smile dropped again and was replaced with a scowl. “Y/N, I was just messing with you. I love the sound of your voice and I love you. So quit ignoring me and come give me love!” He demanded.

When he noticed you weren’t budging, he stood from his seat and pinched the bridge of his nose as he mentally counted.

‘1....2...3,’

He gave in and forcefully turned your chair and threw you over his shoulder. You didn’t speak to him but you squirmed and shook trying to get out of his grasp.

“Aye, aye,” he smacked your ass to get you to stop, “quit it. I’m tired, and I want sleep, and we both know I don’t sleep unless my teddy bear is with me, so shush.”

You looked at him when he told you to “shush.” As if you hadn’t been doing that all day. He just squinted his eyes as he knew what you were thinking. “You know what I mean shitty woman!”

Bakugou stormed into your shared bedroom and dropped you onto the mattress. You didn’t even try to run away. You had decided that, yes, you are indeed tired but you refused to give a certain blonde any attention. You stretched on the bed and Bakugou was in awe of your cute state but quickly snapped out of his trance when you turned on your side and gave him your back.

Bakugou got into bed along side you and scooted closer. He pressed himself against your back but once he made contact, you scooted farther away. And so, he scooted himself closer again but just like before, you scooted away. This went on about 2 more times before you scooted and fell off the bed.

“Y/N? You okay, love?” He asked as he looked down at you. You popped up from the floor, on your knees and grumbled to yourself as you vented quietly. You stood up and continued ranting as you tried to walk away to sleep on the couch but before you could get away from the king sized bed, Bakugou grabbed your wrist and pulled you on top of him. “Ignore me all you want but I’m not sleeping without my cuddles.”

You sighed as you gave in. You allowed him to hold you but you refused to speak. Bakugou rubbed circles onto your back as he inhaled your scent but he missed the sound of your voice. The sweet sound that was something similar to honey.

“Baby...I’m sorry.”

You looked at him when he apologized and raised your brow. A verbal, genuine, apology from Katsuki Bakugou? This you’ve gotta see.

“I know I shouldn’t have said that to you and even if I was only kidding......it was pretty fucking mean. ..But I hope you know I love the sound of your damn voice. I love you, dumbass. And I would never ask you to stay silent because....*sigh* ‘cuz your voice, you talking to me, you being with me, and just you in general keeps me sane. So I’m sorry. Okay? And I love you..” he said with a growing blush as he stared at you with a flustered face.

You smiled and went up to peck his lips and then give him a loving kiss. He jumped at the sudden contact but quickly melted into the kiss. He smiled as he finally got to revel in the sweet intimate moments like this. The sweet moments he’s been missing all day.

“I love you too Suki.” Oh how he craved to hear your voice. He loved the sweet sound and missed your loving tone. He pulled you in closer and just held you tight. He doesn’t plan on letting go.

“I’m so sorry. I will never make you upset like that ever again.” He bargained but you only shook your head.

“Katsuki, I was just messing with you today. I had an annoying day and that little joke just sent me over the edge but you know I never take your mean quips to heart. You’re rough around the edges but that’s just who you are and I don’t mind it. I love everything about you, even if you’re a jerk sometimes,” you teased and flicked at his nose. You giggled as he whined and tried to soothe the spot you hit. “You don’t have to censor yourself around me. Okay?”

Bakugou smiled even more. He loves you so damn much. Not only did you know he was just a little abrasive, but you accepted him for all his brunt behavior. You truly did love him. “Thanks princess,”

He sealed the deal with a sweet kiss to your temple as you giggled at the warm feeling of his soft lips. He pulled you down to his chest as you both cuddled up for the night. You sleeping is the only time Bakugou will ever be okay with you being silent. But never again will he ever allow himself to get the silent treatment.

A/N: Guys, I’m so sorry. I’ve been in such a slump and I feel like im reaching a writers block. It’s not even like I don’t have any ideas, I do! And I even have multiple unfinished pieces in my drafts but I just don’t have any motivation to finish :( sorry Cubs, don’t worry, I’ll try my best to finish them as quick as I can. Idk, should I take a break?

I’m already in the middle of a story and I don’t wanna leave those who are reading on a cliffhanger.

[nagiwrites]

Mikey x fem reader ( kill bill inspired au )

Warnings: violence, gore, basically dead dove at this point, also the physics is questionable but whatever it’s fiction.

notes: italics indicates readers inner thoughts, - indicates flashback. I will censor cussing. mikey has black hair in this but any hair color is fine if you want to imagine it. 

Note: so sorry for the delay but I’m back now! Long chapter ahead

Part 1 / part 2

All you could hear was the faint sound of the tires on the road as you ride in silence. Dry tears and snot stain your face. You sniffle and press the gas pedal harder. You have to pull it together if you want too get to mikey. I don’t even know if I wanna do this to be honest. I feel so much rage and humiliation, I used to be in the top ranks in his now “stupid” gang. I don’t know what happened, I have gotten soft I guess. You laugh, I’m back to my old self deprecating thinking.

You sigh and look at the time, it’s dawn and you have been driving for a few hours. There is one place to go if I want to upgrade my skills and ever be on Mikey’s level. If I want to pull this off I need more training and he’s the only one I can think of. You end up at a building named dynamic fitness. You open the door and step out of the the truck. I haven’t seen this place in years.

- You were in a car listening to music, you then turn up the volume. ~I don’t wanna think about you, without you~ , you turn to Mikey and grabs his hand. “I love this song.” You say and smile at him. “Yeah it’s nice I guess.” His eyes focused on the road. You roll your eyes and turn to face the window. The car comes to a stop, you turn to see the building and squint your eyes to read the sign. “Um, I would have dressed more comfortable if I knew we were coming to a gym.” You grow uncomfortable and shift in your seat. “It’s fine I want you to meet someone.” He makes a small smile. You two walk in and see only a few people working out, it’s kind of dark once you go deeper in the building. Brown interior and warm lights, seems like a cool place to unwind you thought. He then leads you behind a door and you are met with stairs. As you go down you are met with a more personal space for someone to workout. Purple workout mat on the floor with various medals and trophies placed everywhere. “mitsuya” he calls out, A purple hair dyed boy with piercings then comes out. Mitsuya stares at you and then you look away quickly. I am a grown adult but I am kind of crushing right now, he is really attractive. They hug and they both turn to you, “this is the one I wanted you to train. Mikey’s says as smirks at you. You are kind of shocked, you really didn’t expect this. You stare at him then pull him to the side of the room. “What are you talking about” you say nervously. He makes a really serious face, his eyes look cold right now. “Look if you want to be apart of this life and with me, you gonna have to toughen up a whole lot more.” He says firmly, You raise your eye brows and glance away. “Yeah but don’t you think this is a little extreme I think I can handle myself.” You laugh nervously, He then crosses his arm and sighs, “We aren’t leaving until I see the progress I want.” He then walks away to sit on a bench near the wall. You feel so confused right now, you know being around him is dangerous but you would like to think he would protect you. Of course why would anyone want to do that for you…..

The lilac haired boy then clears his throat interrupting your thoughts. You then walk over to him and stand at the center of the mat. You scan his face, he looks kind of innocent why does he know someone like Mikey. “I don’t want you to go easy on her either!” Mikey yells. You then try to put your hands up awkwardly to guard yourself. I don’t know what to expect to be honest, the worse he could do is probably tackle me, I hope he isn’t to rough. This moment drastically changed your life for better and worse.

You didn’t see it coming, it looked almost like a ghost flying past you. You saw him turn and lift his leg to a kick. He hits you on the side of your face and you fall to the ground. You stare at the floor in shock, you hesitantly touch the side of your face, looked at your hand and saw red. You started to breathe heavy, what just happened, your eyes dart to your partner, “mik..key” you see the most dead black eyes staring back at you. “Get up” he says in a deep voice, you just sit there staring at the ground. As you try to stand again you feel another kick this time in the stomach. You gasp loudly, eyes widening at the hard impact. You then start to sobbing, “your just gonna let him do that too you? Huh!” Mikey yells. He then smirks and says “we have all day sweetie.” You stare at him through your tear filled eyes. Breathing hard, you then stand up slowly and let out a blood curling scream, “Mikey! You scream through tears. -

You stand at the door of the building and pull the handle. It’s locked, you then step back and use the force of your hand to punch the glass in. You unlock and turn the knob from the other side of the glass. You walk through the gym to find the showers. You strip your clothes and step in, you feel so soothed from the hot water. All the dried blood trickles down the drain, you then cleanse you face. I don’t feel good, I wish I could lay down. You exit the shower and and put your clothes back on. You end up in the same room your so called teacher taught you. Painful memories ran through your head, you walked to the bench and closed your eyes. Now I wait.

A few moments later you hear the door knob turn. He walks in and then pauses when he sees you “what surprised to see me?” You said and snickered. “I mean yeah… I thought you were…. You know… “ he says hesitantly. “Yeah me too” you say and sigh. After a few moments of awkward silence, you speak up “ I need to know where Mikey is right now.” He then walks over to his bag to get out his gauge. He starts to wrap his hands, “ what are you doing, I’m not here to fight you” you step away. “Look if you want to catch Mikey then I need to see if you are still capable of fighting.” You roll your eyes, “look it hasn’t been that long since I’ve been gone.” You go to sit. “ yeah it actually has it’s been three months since he told me what he did to you.” Your eyes widen. I didn’t know I’ve been out for that long….I’m so sorry shin, I couldn’t give you the proper funeral you deserved. You were snapped out of your thoughts by mitsuya slapping your thighs with both hands. “Look if you want to get him and everyone who did this to you, your gonna have to numb your emotions”. He says close to your face. “My emotions….” You say quietly. Why should I hide anything, you don’t know how much rage I’m just waiting to let out on anyone. “No I’m mad and I’m gonna be mad until I get all of them.” You say loudly. “Then get up and fight me” he says walking back to the mat.

“Ha!” You yell as you swing your leg to hit his stomach. He blocks it and pushes it hard to the floor. You fall and hear a crack “ah!” You squeal. “You have gotten terrible.” He says and smirks. Your breathing heavy, sweat is all over your body. “Think of me as Mikey right now and come at me!” You stand almost falling and stare at him.

-you hear faint voices, “HAAAA did you see the little b**** face!” A pinked haired man said. “Shhh your really loud” a man with long white hair said. You cough, tears blurry in your eyes, why is this happening. You hear another moan this time deeper, you gulp and turn your head, you then start to hyperventilate. Shinchiro lays next you face almost disfigured. You scream, “shhhhh doll don’t worry it’s almost over.” A purple haired man stood over you and smiled. Laughter erupted and you screamed in frustration. You then hear a very familiar deep voice “ I can’t believe you still care about this dude even isn’t this state.” Mikey says and walks over to you. He gets on his knees and leans over you close to your face, you could almost feel his lips. “You still love me right baby don’t you!” He says loudly. The room was dead quiet, you could feel the hot wind coming from the open door of the church. I want to run away from all of this. You whimper. “M..Ike..y” you try to say. He shushes you, you feel so humiliated right now, you could just die. “Doesn’t matter what you say really you are trash to me now” he continues. “To think you were messing with my own BROTHER.” He laughs. “I think the only right punishment is death”. He then stands, still over you “but I think you and him need to suffer first.” He stares at you with dead eyes. “Go take the other body out of here, I’m done with him.” You scream “no! Please! Don’t take him away!” You cry. They all laugh and one of them starts to drag shin out. You try to get up and all you see was a trail of blood leading out to a vast desert. -

Your eyes turn dark and you feel overwhelming rage growing. You then charge into mitsuya and he stumbles but not enough to take him down. You throw a fast punch to his face and it lands, he fall forward. As he falls you bring your knee up to hit him in the face. He is on the ground and you get on top of him and put your hands around his neck. You are met with a bloodied face and a smiling boy. You quickly move your hands away. He chuckles “I’m glad, you still have it in you.” He says while coughing. “ you know you were my favorite.” He laughs even more.

Yay to chapter two I hope it was good, I ended up writing a lot, next chapter will be coming soon. If you want to be on the tag list just send me an ask. Also to the person who sent me an ask, asking to be tagged i lost your username, I’m sorry so if you find this then please send the ask again if you still want to be tagged. Thanks for reading.

[jadedxrealityw]

-Love Is Love- Loki/Lady Loki Laufeyson x female reader

☼-♥-☼

Kody: was going to write some angst, but you guys deserve something sweet. 

Movie/Show: N/A

Summary: ‘normal day’ and ‘god of mischief’ don’t go together, ever. Especially when said god is a clingy, quick to whine baby. 

Possible Triggers/Warnings: domestic Loki, the fluff, Loki being a giant man baby, a sneak peak at his unused powers he he he he, homophobes in the wild

☼-♥-☼

your eyes open slowly as your brain process’s the fact you are now awake and no longer in the fluffy state of mind that is dreamland. A warm and heavy feeling brings you to look down at your chest where the pale arm of your lover laid. 

Loki

a smile graces your lips as memories of the night before gently takes over your thought process. Looking to your right, you see your phone charging on the nightstand. Reaching up you grab it and press your thumb to the fingerprint censor, making the phone unlock instantly. 

no phone calls and a couple messages from Wanda, confirming you and Loki would be at her house warming party with Loki. You type out a quick response saying you would drag Loki there if need be and closed the messages app. Looking up a bit, you spot the time. 9:45 am. 

you should probably make breakfast

placing the phone back down on the nightstand you grab Loki’s arm and attempt to remove it from your waist. You only lift it inches from your bare skin until Loki pulls you into his chest, his arm now around your back. God dammit. Now being face to face you could see his playful grin.

“How long have you been awake?“ you ask, seeing how he didn’t look tired in the slightest “A few hours“ he replies in a low whisper as to not disturb the peaceful silence as much. “So you’ve just been staring at me then?“ you say, a playful grin of your own forming on your face. 

“Why wouldn’t i?“ Loki uses his free arm to run his hand along the side of your face, admiring your tired form. You place your hand on top of his and bring it to your mouth, giving his palm a light kiss before going to sit up. Loki forces you back down causing you to sigh.

“Loki, i have plans today” You remind him, just like you did the night before when he tried to keep you up all night. “and so do i“ he replied confidently. Your face turns into a deadpan expression as you stare blankly at him “Really? and that is?“

“To keep you here, in bed with me of course” Loki smiles like he is a child who had just won a prize. That prize being well..you. You shake your head, forcing down laughter as to not indulge in his playful behavior at the moment so you could start your day. 

“You know i would love to stay in bed with you, but i have to go shopping. I won’t be long“ You lean forward and press a quick kiss to his forehead, earning a frown in return. Loki lets you get up this time and you step onto the cold wooden floor.

just as you stretch your arms, you hear the sound of rustling sheets, which cause you to turn your head to where Loki was, standing up in only a pair of dark boxers. “What’re you doing?” you ask, going over to the the closet where you kept the clean towels. 

Loki follows slowly behind you “I coming with you” he says, reaching in front of you to grab one of the towels. You roll your eyes, grabbing a towel of your own “I’m taking a shower first” you send him a small grin as you walk past him and towards the bathroom door that was connected to your bedroom. 

“Or” Loki cut in, wrapping his arms around your waist from behind you, pulling you into his chest. His head leans down, his chin hovering just above your shoulder “We can take one together“ he suggests. You had no objection to that idea in the slightest.

☼-♥-☼

after the shower you and Loki got dressed, with a lot of breaks in between from because of the flirty comments he would make. Once you both turn around to look at each other, you both laugh quietly. Loki wore his famous all black suit while you wore a short black turtleneck with matching pants with a grey cardigan.

“A suit? It’s just a walk to the grocery store and the mall?“ you chuckle, smoothing out your cardigan. You just needed your bag and shoes now. Loki rolls his eyes, fixing the collar of his dress shirt “I have to look presentable wherever i go. I have a reputation to uphold“

scoffing, you grab the door handle and turn it, pushing the door open “Right, i hope you attract all that attention you need then” you say teasingly, walking out into the living room. Where did you put your shoes? You could hear Loki’s rapid footsteps behind you. 

“That’s not what i mean, love“ he apologizes, his hand reaching for yours. He was always so quick to think he had done something wrong, then again you were teasing him. “I’m kidding“ you assure him, making him exhale deeply “You’ll be the death of me“ he lets out. 

you laugh to yourself once more before finally spotting your shoes by the sofa “Lets go while they’re still serving breakfast at that one cafe down the street” you say, rushing over to your shoes so you could put them on. “So punctual” Loki mumbles to himself.

☼-♥-☼

you both walked down the street, a cup of coffee in your hand and nothing in Loki’s. “I still don’t understand how you drink that stuff” Loki looks in disgust at your cup. Rolling your eyes, you take another sip of your warm beverage “No one asked you too get a cup of your own”

“I thought it taste somewhat decent“ Loki retorts, making you shake your head “I’m sorry to disappoint you then“ you apologize, nudging his shoulder with yours playfully. Loki lightly shakes his head, nudging you back “It isn’t possible for you to disappoint me“

his words make you smile as he wraps his arm around your shoulder, pulling you closer to him. He leans down to plant a chaste kiss to your temple sweetly. “Were nearing the mall you big softie” you taunt, dropping your paper cup in a recycling bin you pass by.

“Ah yes, a midgardian shopping center. Sounds rather...boring“ Loki sighs deeply. He didn’t find anything about humans not boring, so that wasn’t a big surprise. “I said you didn’t have to come with me. I can shop by myself just fine“

“Oh i know you can, i just don’t trust Midgard. Mostly it’s male species“ Loki shudders as if he had said a terrible word. You stifle laughter as you both walk through the entrance of the mall, the smell from the food court wafting into the open area. 

“Ah the male species. Now i have to find an outfit for Wanda’s party. So women's boutique it is“ You grab Loki’s hand and begin to drag him through the mall. 

☼-♥-☼

once you walk into the boutique you walk into the short dress’s section to find a nice casual dress that wasn’t to flashy, but made you look nice. “Something short i see?” Loki spoke from behind you, causing you to roll your eyes as you move through the rack. 

As you look through the mostly red shades of dress’s you spot Loki go over to the black ones and look through them “Plan on getting one?” you ask, turning your head to face him. You can see Loki’s lips turn upwards into a smile “If they fit my standards”

well, he is a god after all. 

“Alright tell me if you find something nice then“ you say before moving to the more flowy dress section, still short. You just didn’t feel like wearing a tight dress. You stopped on a nice looking dress that looked like exactly what you were looking for and it was the last in your size. 

seemed like fate did it not?

you grab the hanger off the rack and drape it over your arm. Turning around, you begin to talk “I’m going to go try this on- Loki?” he wasn’t where you had left him. Shrugging, you made your way to the changing rooms. It was a big store and he was around somewhere...hopefully.

there were four stalls in the changing room and three were open. The one that was already occupied was filled with the sounds of a woman grumbling about how a zipper wouldn’t go up. She must of had a bad day or something. You take your dress and yourself into an empty stall and shut and lock the door.

you began strip yourself of the clothing you had on and place it neatly on the bench so it wouldn’t get dirty. Once your finished you take the dress and slip it over your head, pulling it down until it sat comfortably on your bust. You unlock the door and step out to look at yourself in the long mirror on the wall. 

looking at your reflection, you smile. You looked perfect in every way. It fit nicely and hugged your torso just right. “You look ravishing, my love” a woman’s voice spoke, causing you to turn around. A tall woman with slightly below shoulder length hair stood wearing a dark green velvet dress. 

looking at her up and down, you smile “I assume you found a dress then, Loki” you say, walking over to her. Loki smiles and flattens out her dress with the back of her hands “It’s simplistic, but yes i have. What do you think?” she asks, reaching forward to move a strand of hair from your face. 

“I think you look beautiful, but we should probably take these off so i can pay for them” you suggest. Loki grins as she gives you a quick kiss “Hm alright. I guess i did find something to wear to Wanda’s little get together“ she gloats, eyeing herself in the mirror up in down. 

you were dating a narcissist. A sexy narcissist

“Alright hot stuff go change“ you tease as you gently push Loki back into the changing room she was in. Shaking your head, you go back into your changing stall as well. 

☼-♥-☼

you step out and see Loki standing in his suit and no longer a woman. You didn’t really question why and smiled, walking up to him “Ready to leave? i’m already tired of walking today” as if on cue, you let out a yawn. Plus you were going out to eat tonight and wanted to rest up before then. 

Loki grabs the the short black dress with sheer sleeves from your hand. “Uh-” you say, but were caught off “I’ll pay, you go take a seat outside the store” Loki says, not really asking more like telling you. Your feet were hurting though, so you wouldn’t complain. 

“Alright“ you exhale, patting hi shoulder before walking towards the exit of the store. When you walk outside there is a bench in the middle next to a couple of those giant screen poster things. Whatever they’re called. You go over and take a seat, feeling instant relief from your feet. 

you only waited there about a minute before Loki came out holding a paper shopping bag in one of his hands. He spots you instantly and walks over “You look dreadful” he comments, jokingly and you narrow your eyes “Your so sweet” you say and push yourself off the bench. 

Loki goes in to kiss your cheek when you use your hand to push his face away. He pulls back with a confused expression “I look dreadful, don’t i?” you say, repeating his words from a few seconds ago. Loki’s expression drops “You know i don’t mean it, darling”

“I know, but no kisses till i feel like it“ you smile a sickeningly sweet smile at him. Loki rolls his eyes, but smiles nonetheless. He couldn’t be made at you even if he tried and he wouldn’t try, ever. 

☼-♥-☼

while walking down the sidewalk you heard a couple shouts and cheers as you turn the corner. There seemed to be some sort of protest going on in front of some rainbow cafe. If you remember correctly, a lesbian couple ran it. You had met them a few times before actually.

“Is a war starting or do Midgardians do this for fun?” Loki questioned, looking at the group of people huddled outside the small cafe. “I uh- i honestly don’t know how to answer that. It’s just a bunch of homophobes who can’t keep there opinions to themselves” you scoff, crossing your arms.

Loki’s face twinged in disgust at your words. You had taught him about the gross people that are homophobes, transphobes, xenophobes, etc. He absolutely despised those kind of people considering he was both genderfluid and bisexual himself and you were (insert sexuality here).

“Should i kill them?“ he asked genuinely, making you snort. It was a nice thought, but not rational. “No, but now i feel like i should take you home because your hand is about to break mine” you reply, holding up your intertwined hands. 

Loki quickly lets go, mumbling an apology. He sighs, nodding begrudgingly. You were slightly taken aback by his willingness and look forward when you hear a familiar swoosh sound. God dammit. You face Loki once more as she flips back her black hair. Twice in one day? alrighty then. 

Loki removes the coat of her suit and places it in the shopping bag before rolling her sleeves up to her elbow “Ready to go home darling?” she asked and you simply nod, wondering what her motives are. She wraps an arm around your shoulder as you begin to walk down the sidewalk. 

getting closer, you could hear slurs being thrown left and right. Jeez these people need a hobby you thought. Loki led you right through the crowd and toward the entrance of the cafe. What the fuck is she doing? Just as Loki grabs the handle of the door, one of the previously mentioned protesters speak up.

“You both are going to hell!“ a rather built man yells. Loki’s brow raises as a grin paints her face perfectly. She opens the cafe door and gently pushes you inside, keeping the door open with her foot. Loki turns around as you watch from the glass windows.

“I’m assuming that’s what you call Niflheim, a place of total damnation or along those lines. Considering my sister is the goddess of death i think i’ll do just fine thank you. Now stay away or i’ll give you a one way trip.” Loki spoke with such elegance you almost couldn’t tell she was threatening the man. 

it soon clicked to the man and other ignorant folk that they just told the goddess of mischief to go to hell. Big yikes. “Your a freak!“ the man spat out in a last attempt to get under Loki’s skin, but she just smiles maniacally “Such naughty words darling. I’m bored now, off you go” 

Loki waves her hand as if she’d dismissing a class of students. While waving, her dagger flicks into her hand, effectively scaring off all little amount of sucky people. She forms a prideful smile before walking into the shop. You look at her and cant help but laugh. 

“What? I didn’t kill them did i?“ Loki smiles, flicking her hand, her dagger disappearing. “Saying you'll send them to your sister is the same thing love“ you point out. Loki shrugs and looks around the shop “They serve more then coffee here right?“

☼-♥-☼

after that you and Loki decided to stay in for the rest of the day and go out tomorrow. For dinner you both ate loads of junk food you got from a convenience store on the way back. You were showing Loki sour patch kids, mostly to watch her face scrunch up. 

“That’s awful“ she comments, chewing slowly on the candy while you laughed your ass off on the bed. Loki narrows her green eyes and nudges your shoulder “Don’t make fun of me. This is all different flavors for me“ she exclaims, only making you laugh harder. 

“I- i’m sorry!“ you say in between laughs, trying not to fall back onto the hard wood floor. Loki shook her head and grabbed your waist. She pulls you close so your sitting on her lap “i actually liked shopping with you today“ she admits, causing you to tilt your head a bit. 

“Really, even with the homophobic stuff?” you questioned. Loki reaches up and moves a piece of your hair with her thumb, smiling sweetly “Just reminded me that you love me in whatever form i take“ she says. A way with words she was. “I do indeed love you“ you reply. 

Loki leans into to plant her lips on yours, the taste of the sweet and sour candy on her lips making the kiss much more interesting. Loki smiles as her hands gently cup your face. After a few seconds she pulls away and gazes into your eyes. “What?” you say, chuckling. 

“I love you too darling. I forgot to say it a earlier“ she admits, wrapping her arms around your waist. She falls back, laying your head on her chest as you both tangle yourselves within the sheets of your bed. With all the walking, yu both fall asleep almost instantly, holding each other close. 

love is love

☼-♥-☼

Kody: I made this fic mostly to bring awareness to the fact that some of the Marvel/MCU don’t acknowledge the fact that Loki id genderfluid and bisexual or just completely ignore it entirely. If you really love Loki as you claim, you’ll except them in any way. Anyways, peace. 

Edit: I know he’s Pansexual in Norse mythology, i’m just going by what’s confirmed in the MCU 

☼-♥-☼

Join my taglist today to never miss an update from me!

Taglist: @hel-viti @vmame @loudbluepancake @high-ashell-hargrove @andineverwould 

[purpleyellow]

Road To Kingdom

The boyz 12th member

Mae’s masterlist

“A summary of Mae during RTK” 

a/n: not @/ me using the performance names as historical events. Feel free to share your thoughts with me. Requests are open! 🧡

... After the concept meeting for Sword of Victory...

Mae cracked open the door to a practice room, making sure no one was inside before dropping her stuff, as well as her body, on the floor. The lightbulb making it almost impossible to keep her eyes open reminded her that she used to do that during her trainee days.

Here she was again, feeling hopeless like she was going to face the biggest challenge ever. And the girl was sure she wasn’t ready for it. 

Minkyung had a problem of self-doubting even though she couldn’t pinpoint it, all the members seemed willing to take on the challenge, yet she felt like she’d be the downfall of the group. And yes, she had a thing for being dramatic as well, that’s why she rested the back of her hand on her forehead and sprawled out her other arm.

The door flung open with mild force, startling her from her thoughts and sending her body into a more normal position. Q entered the room without a word and just laid on the floor next to her. Both members looked at the ceiling deep in thought.

Mae went back to the idea she had during the meeting. Not a particularly bright one, though it did attack the fact she felt like an upcoming burden to the group. Taking a deep breath she mumbled, “I think I should take a hiatus”.

After her words, the room went back to silence. Her heartbeat had increased due to the heaviness of what she had spoken, and looking to the side, she saw Changmin frown.

“Are you sick?” He asked after a few minutes and the girl shook her head. “Physically or mentally unwell? Is there an issue we can fix?”

His questions made her taken back, for Mae it was very clear why her taking a break would be beneficial for the group. 

“I’m saying because of the program”

“We’re joining a competition, so you want to drop out?” Changmin sat up confused. 

“I’m thinking of the bigger picture. The group will do better if you don’t have to worry about me keeping up with you guys”.

“No, you’re not. I’m sorry, but you’re being selfish now” He chuckled. “We don’t mind if you need to repeat the same move a couple of times extra to understand how it goes. Do you honestly think it’s going to help being one person down?”.

“I figured I wouldn’t be setting you back. It can be stressing sometimes and -” She sat up trying to explain her thoughts, and he shook his head.

“Minkyung, you bring a lot to the team, just because you struggle with something doesn’t mean it’s worth losing everything else. When we were rookies I used to get annoyed because you were so quick to give up. But then you began understanding how you learn and your limits. And even though it takes you a little longer you push yourself. Why did you suddenly come back to assuming you can’t do it?”

“The meeting today. Everyone is preparing a lot, there’s so much thought involved and maybe not pulling it off would mean I failed you guys”

“I’m terrified too,” Changmin nodded, placing a hand on his chest “I mean, did you listen to the stunts they were talking about. My first thought was to run away. But then I remembered we’re here to prove ourselves” 

Sighing, Mae looked at him annoyed “You’re a great dancer, and singer and whatever else, you’ll do fine because that’s how your body works”

“And you’re an insane performer” He cut her off with wide eyes. A random giggle left his mouth before he continued “I’m talking about acting and becoming another person on stage, you literally do that in the blink of an eye. This is your chance of growth. Who cares if you pull an all-nighter to get the right angle? When you’re on stage it’s like someone else entirely, and we haven’t even done some crazy concepts like we’re planning on doing”

“If the angles are wrong then we won’t look synchronized” The girl mumbled looking at the big mirror and Q chuckled.

“And that’s why you’re not going to rest until it’s perfect. None of us is going too actually. We’re going in as a team, with all our flaws and strengths”

“It’s nerve-wracking, isn’t it?” She mumbled after a moment of silence. Changmin laughed and added. “I’m scared to death”

… Five hours before Catching Fire…

The last rehearsal before the performance had ended and the group went back to their dressing room. Sitting sideways on the couch, Mae rested her head on her arm and watched some members go get their makeup retouched.

Jacob sat on her side and stared at the girl’s blank face before laughing. “Can you blink, so I know you’re still alive?”

Blinking once, she slowly adverted her gaze to him and bit her lip “This is crazy”

“It’s not as fast-paced as they show it on TV though. At least we have some time to process what’s going on” Jacob shrugged making her narrow her eyes at him “But yeah. It is crazy”

“Sunwoo keeps going on high places. And there’s some acrobatic stuff I’m not sure how it works and-” She kept mumbling like she hadn’t been there for the tiring practices and rehearsals. Laughing Jacob interrupted her by adding.

“And you fake kicked someone”

“And I fake kicked someone” Mae repeated with wide eyes making him laugh and Hyunjae approach them.

“Hey, I’ve been jumping on high places too,” He said defensively making her stare at him and shrugged. Jaehyun laughing before patting her on the back “How about once we get home today you have a really long night to sleep”

“I’m good” Mae shook her head “I’ll sleep but tomorrow don’t let me miss the meetings please”

Agreeing with her, Hyunjae stepped back to the styling session and the girl stood up to use the restroom.

Just as Mae turned around the corner, a faint sound of a violin came from Golden Child’s door. Before she could fully process the song it was playing, the door opened wide showcasing Jangjun.

“Well, do we have a spy among us?” He laughed bowing at her and Mae repeated the gesture a little embarrassed.

“I was just passing by and heard the violin. I didn’t mean to interrupt” She said making an x with her hands.

“Nah, I don’t believe you” He teasingly said and dropped an arm over her shoulder, ultimately bringing her inside the room “So, what did you hear? Are you going to sell this information to your members? And what is it going to be your concept today, I can see the hunger games thing on your shirt, is it like a revolution”

“Uh, I don’t know… Hello” Bowing to the rest of Golden Child, the girl tried to remember what he had first asked her. “I only heard a melody, and don’t worry I won’t spread it around”

“Hyung, I told you not to play it right now” Bomin scoffed to Joochan, who seemed to realize he was still holding out his violin before hiding it on his back.

“But Mae-ssi is a friend, isn’t she? She will hold out the shock factor for us” He laughed making the girl nod and give them a thumbs up. “Do you know how to play it too?”

“I do actually” She laughed and Joochan gestured her to take the instrument “Oh, no it’s fine”

“You heard our song already. At least play for us or tell us something about your stage” Jibeom teased leading her to sigh and take the violin to herself.

Fixing up her posture, Mae quickly played a random song she had learned as a child making the boys cheer. 

“Okay, I should be going now,” She said bowing embarrassed by their compliments and Denyeol nodded along. Fist bumping her before raising a finger.

“But, Mae if you could do us a favor” He started grabbing her attention “Please make sure you show you’re surprised”

Laughing she nodded making her way to the door, before leaving she held up her hands with her fists closed “Golden Child fighting!”

“Mae fighting!”

(requested by 🍓🥛 anon) 

… Behind the scenes for Heroin…

“Why are we so embarrassing?” Sunwoo giggled and clicked his pen repeatedly. He and Mae were sitting on the same side of the table waiting for Leedo from Oneus to show up for the writing session. 

Bouncing her leg, Mae hugged the boy’s arm and looked at the door expectantly, only to get startled by it opening up. 

“Hello” The tall boy put his head inside the room and entered it slowly. The three idols greeted each other and sat down still a little awkward from being the first time they truly interacted.

“I got the demo, so we can write the raps to go with it” Leedo said unlocking his phone. A piano melody that would blend in with Sunmi’s Heroin started playing, and Mae quickly unlocked her own device.

Opening a piano app, she waited for the recording to be over before quickly replicating it on her phone in different tempos.

“You picked it up quite fast” Leedo laughed scribbling down on his paper, and she smiled. “Sorry, just a habit before writing. This way we can adjust it as we go”

“No yeah, sure” He cleared his throat and Sunwoo bit his lip to prevent himself from laughing.

“Anyway, for the lyrics, I was thinking we could talk about becoming an idol”

After finishing up with their rap parts. The three idols made their way up to the practice room where the rest had began working with the choreographer.

“Mae, come here” Juyeon called out as soon as she stepped in the room, so he could run over some parts with her and Ravn. “There’s only actual choreography for you after the last chorus, but we do some kind of puppet thing during your verse”

“My love for this song couldn’t be any bigger” Mae giggled and looked around the room for the camera “Sunmi Sunbaenim, if you’re watching this, let’s be friends”

Laughing, Juyeon pulled out a chair for them to start while saying “Watch out. Taemin Sunbaenim commented on danger, maybe she’ll actually see this”

“Wait, he did” Mae stopped with wide eyes and Juyeon nodded. “Holy sh-”

“Yeah” Laughing he pulled her arm “Just remember this is still a broadcast” 

“Honestly, if she ever reaches out let me know. I want to be her friend too” Ravn added making them giggled, and she gave him a positive sign.

“As long as you don’t tell Juyeon, because he’s been censoring me a lot lately”

“Well, we have an agreement”

Sulking, Juyeon added “I don’t see how this is fair but okay”

… 1 minute after Quasi una fantasia …

The members bowed to the staff and extras before slowly stepping away from the stage. Mae could see some of the boys crowding around Juyeon who seemed pretty upset, though she had no idea what was going on. 

Holding her side, the girl went behind the boy and gave him a back hug making them waddle together back to the dressing room. Once they were all settled back, she stepped away from the crowd and raised her shirt a bit showcasing a forming bruise right above her waist.

“Crap, how did that happen?” Kevin who looked her way at the right time said under his breath. “You need to ice it, probably"

“I bumped on the corner of the piano," She said recalling the incident. “Hopefully it wasn’t noticeable. The camera wasn’t turned to me anyway”

The one part that had gotten her most nervous during this performance was her piano solo for the climax of Beethoven’s Moonlight Sonata. Not only it dictated the rhythm for the first dance break, but it was also challenging for her as she hadn’t played something like this in a while, and it ended a few seconds before her part. 

So strategically speaking, she had to run off the instrument as soon as it was done and went back to the center of the performance. Not without hitting her hip against the wood.

“Is it hurting?” He asked while waving for a staff member and asking them for ice.

“It’s starting to. Do you think it’ll leave a big bruise?” Mae shrugged and hissed as the cold hit her warm skin. Shaking her head, she tried to focus on something else “Well, not mentioning everything. How was the performance?”

“Weren’t you there to see it yourself”

“I don’t know. I kind of blackout every time we go on stage” She made him laugh, but her face was dead serious.

“Wait really?”

“Kind of. I can remember it roughly I guess. Today there was so much to focus on that I’m not sure if I was entirely present. I banged my hip and didn't feel it at first for all things”

“Dude, same I guess. I need to lay down and get smushed by ten weighted blankets tonight” Kevin added hugging her on the other side and leading them to the couch.

… 3 days before Checkmate …

“The synchronization feels off” Eric spoke from the huddle of members watching the recording of their practice.

“Mae…” Q started, but before he could finish the girl spoke “Right arm higher. I got it”

“If you got it then why didn’t you do it right away” He turned playfully to her and poked her nose. 

Massaging her back, the girl laughed and walked back to her spot next to Haknyeon. The boy dropped his bottle on the floor to help her out “Did you fall on your side?”

“No. I did trip while running from one side to the center, so maybe that was it” She shrugged looking around the room “Nobody is intact”

“Tell me about it” He pouted and called Sangyeon closer. “Hyung, maybe we should work on another part. We’ve been doing this section of the chorus for too long”

“Go talk to the captain, I’m not in charge of that” The leader laughed sending him towards Changmin, Juyeon, and Hyunjae talking to one of the choreographers.

“They would listen if you’re the one asking,” Mae said leaning on his side and Sangyeon nodded. 

“Yeah, but I already came all the way over here. I don’t feel like walking back” Sangyeon chuckled, looking to the side where one of the staff members started calling his attention.

“We’ve got the costumes ready if you want to do a rehearsal with them” Looking up at the leader, Mae separated herself from him to run for the stylists while he went to call the other boys.

After the stylists helped her put on her clothes, one of them brought a box and quickly pulled her to the side “I know we’re not doing hair and makeup for today. But I’d figure it’s best for you to have it on for the rehearsal so we can make sure it won’t fall”

“Wow, is she getting a present?” Eric laughed approaching them and the stylist opened the box to reveal a thin black tiara to go along with her outfit.

“The crown itself is one of the props, so we had to make it subtle, but we couldn’t pass away the chance to represent the nickname you were given during the program,” She said helping her adjust the thing on her head and Mae walked to one of the mirrors.

“Wow, thank you so much Unnie,” The girl said checking herself out in the mirror “My face looks dead but damn this is pretty” She added making Eric and New, who also had joined them, laugh.

“You know, during a chess game, the Queen is one of the main pieces” She turned around to them holding a hand to her chest and a teasing expression “Thank goodness we didn’t go with a narrative that would give me that role because I’d crumble under the pressure”

“Only for the first week, then it would quickly get to your head” Chanhee scoffed patting her on the back and making her giggle. Eric chuckled as well and urged them outside “Let’s go work, so we can get Kingdom’s lost princess back to her place”

“Mock me as you want, I never asked for the nickname”

[qianoir]

Divine Lies

𝐏𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: Guardian angel!Winwin (WayV) x human fem!reader

𝐆𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: angst

𝐑𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠: 13+

𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: cursing (censored), lying, stealing, cheating, family problems, mentions of death, mentions of suicide, mentions of self-harm, brief mention of sex, abandonment, blasphemy, reader is an implied only child

𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐂𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 2.4K

𝐓𝐚𝐠 𝐋𝐢𝐬𝐭: @staysstrays

Preview

Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. I have worked as a guardian with the style of Lucifer. “Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image,” I have reversed this commandment and given it life to a body of the soul I vowed to protect. Cast upon me a punishment, for I have wandered too far from your holy grail.

Si Cheng Dong, Guardian Angel #1028

Si Cheng knew you from the day you were born. You had marks dangling from your shoulder blades like the torn wings of an angel. He had asked God about the dainty marks, but He said his eyes must be tempted by the Demon of Trickery because no marks appeared to be decorating your back as he said. When he is assigned one of His children to protect, he knows nothing of God’s plan that is unique to every one person. His plan and your decisions were lived through Si Cheng’s eyes as well.

“What is behind your back?” Si Cheng interrogated your five year old self.

“Nothing…” He yanked your hands to unclasp, forcing them to drop the chocolate you had stolen from the convenient store you and your parents had just left.

“Your mother said you could not have this, yet you took it anyway and without paying. That is wrong.” You could only look with deceptively innocent eyes as your guardian took the sweet into the store, placing it back on the shelf you had tip-toed up to.

“Come on, Y/N dear.” Your mother called for you to follow her and your father to the car. There was no sight of Si Cheng, even when you had gotten into the car. Only a couple of miles from the store did he appear in the seat next to you. He looked over to see your closed mouth moving ever so slightly.

“What is in your mouth?” You shook your head and continued to chew slowly, trying to be as unapparent as possible. He continued to stare you down in silence, watching as you finally swallowed what he felt in his heart was something else that you stole. Breaking the intense eye contact, you turned around to look out of the car window. The ride was already silent, but a darkly mixed feel swam in your spine after Si Cheng’s next comment.

“Thou shalt not steal. You will be punished for that sin.”

...

As you blossomed into adulthood, the divine morals you had been taught by your covenant Christian parents seemed to have exited your mind. You were one of the top names of your college's Dean’s list, but the your personal out-of-school extracurriculars could mistake you for a completely different person. Your academic abilities were almost God-given, yet you showed Him no gratitude.

Si Cheng had been by your side to witness each time you strayed away from God. However, it was not his place to direct you back to Him, that choice was wholly your own. Each night since you turned 18, after reading his Bible out loud to you, he left for Heaven. You always told him that you would be in bed through the night, awaiting his return.

Those nights were spent sleeping through the day and partying at different clubs, downing bottles of red wine like a Black Christian. During one night out, you had thrown an empty bottle of Giuseppe Quintarelli into the unknown while walking out of the club; an incident you had forgotten until two police officers showed up on your doorstep with pictures from the club’s security cameras, portraying your indecent act.

Not much of the confrontation could be interpreted or remembered in your hazily hungover brain, but you do remember everything after you shouted a very pathetic “That’s not me!” because your hands were cuffed behind your waist and soon anxiously gripping the bars of the chair behind you at the station.

“What happened?” Si Cheng walked out of the wall when the police left you alone to discuss your charges.

“I forgot to pay for chocolate at the store today It's not—"

“Do not lie to me, Y/N.” You gave him silence. “How could you act in such a way?”

“If you know the answers, then why do you always ask questions?” The light from the interrogation room’s light kindled your eyes when you looked up at him, but you took unusual comfort in the pain.

“I’m trying to help you to understand your sins, but you never learn.”

“You could have stopped me, you’re my guardian ang—” “Yes and I am not you.” Si Cheng gripped the bridge of his nose before speaking again, “I protect you from unrighteous harm. Your actions have consequences with which I cannot interfere.”

Suddenly feeling very nauseous, you wretched forward, your cuffed hands gliding up your spine. A mix of drunken liquids racing from your throat, onto the floor and your distressed jeans. Si Cheng took your hair up, sitting behind you, rubbing your back when you failed to vomit and fearfully gagged.

He was ready to save you when he heard you starting to choke, but took your vulnerable soul into his arms when he realized you had started sobbing.

This was a normal occurrence for you two.

Every day, you would wake up thinking the thoughtless decision you had made the night prior was just a nightmare, but would fall apart when dealing with the consequences. Si Cheng would be there to comfort you and recite something religious that would travel a non-permeable route through your two ears. When you were back to feeling yourself— or what was left of yourself— you would sin again and lie to your guardian about it. Then Si Cheng would read you a bit of The Bible to sleep every night, for when morning comes, your morning s.hit would be on the sacred book once again.

“My back hurts…” You cried out. Si Cheng kept holding you.

“You tempt me.” Si Cheng announces as he waits for you to finish your nightly routine, Bible in hand. He decided to stop sleeping at his home in Heaven and would instead be wherever you were to take away the matches you light your fire with.

“Well I mean we don’t always have to pray when we’re in the bedroom.” The sleeping shirt takes its sweet time to cover your breasts before his angelic eyes.

“Not sexually.” Si Cheng rolls his eyes and chooses his next words carefully for your innuedic mind. “When you lie to me, I want so badly to tell you off. To make certain that no such fibs should ever fall from your lips again.”

“Sounds frustrating. Are you sure you don’t want to just go have sex?”

“The seed falling among the thorns refers to someone who hears the word, but the worries of this life and the deceitfulness of wealth choke the word, making it unfruitful.” Your guardian recited, ignoring your offer.

“The what now?”

“Matthew 13:22. Just because I hear the lies you tell, does not mean I should engorge in them by talking back or forcing you to be something you are not.”

“And what am I not again?”

“Holy.”

“D.amn straight.” Si Cheng huffed in exasperation of his inability to get through to you, opening his Bible once you settled in bed next to him. This was the final part of your nightly routine.

…

Si Cheng ended your nightly prayers. “We send this message to You in the name of Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior. Amen.”

“I’m an atheist.” You say with your eyes already closed.

“How could you say that when I exist?”

“You’re not real. It’s all in my head because since the day I was born, I was not right. If God were real, he wouldn’t have made me this way.”

“You are not an atheist.” Your eyes open halfway.

“How can you decide what I am and what I am not?”

“You would not be so angry at God if you were an atheist. They are non-believers, not betrayers.”

…

The next morning, you wake up in an empty bed. Finally. There was no sign of Si Cheng along the walk from the bedroom, to the bathroom, to the hallway, down the stairs, or to the kitchen, where you sat down to enviously admire the dying rose bouquet trapped in a blue China vase.

The front door bursts open and in comes Si Cheng with two handfuls of goods you had mostly already bought. He walks to the dining table as soon as he spots you, laying out the groceries in front of you.

Angel Soft toilet paper, Angel food cake mix, a sack of Angelina plums, Victoria’s Secret Angel perfume, and a CD of Chancellor and TaeYeon’s “Angel.”

“What is all of this?”

“To remind you that angels are all around you. And we are sad that you do not wish to accept us.”

“Angels, always looking for human validation huh?” Si Cheng bites back his tongue at your passive comment.

“I also got you this.” Sicheng gingerly places a luxe Bible in your hands, with a grandiose “belonging to Y/N” engraved under “The Bible”, complimenting the gold edges of the dainty pages.

“I don’t want to read it.”

“Liar.”

“Excuse me?”

“I can tell the quality of it catches your eye and entices you to want to read. Humans, always wanting the most or nothing at all.” Si Cheng savors the way you glare at him sideways for his mirrored comeback to your insult.

“Let us read it in the bedroom before starting our day.” And you don’t know if you are too tired or desperate or want him to shut up with this religious nonsense, but you go up to the bedroom with him anyway.

“It doesn’t make any sense, Si Cheng! Why would God make me just to torment me? After everything I have done to d.amn myself and spite Him, how could he ever take me as one of His own children?”

You sat in the bathtub, soaking in a mixture of the darkest red wine and gasoline, the color staining the tub and your skin with the darkest black, the color making the markings on your back more defined than ever.

For the past hour, you had been threatening to end it all and managed to rope the divine being into the most intense argument. His hands gripped your arms to keep you from going under, but could not even begin to think about pulling you out with the ear piercing screams you let out between comebacks.

Despite his greatest efforts, Si Cheng had to admit that he was never able to help you get back on a good path. “I am going to Hell and you can’t save me. He has failed both me and you”

“He has failed neither me nor you. How dare you speak of the Heavenly Father in such vulgar form.” His anger rose and teeth tried not to bare animalistically behind his lips. In a way, you were right and Si Cheng knew this. He had been the cause of such deathly marks to appear on your back in response to the resentment building up in his heart to have to wake and sleep with your sins.

“Then show me! Take me to God and show me that he is real. Let me hear from Him that He wants me for good and not for sport.” Your body weighted his hands down as the stinging in your back made you lightheaded.

“He has told you. Your entire life, He has told you. He speaks through me and I am one of his most trusted children.” Still desperately trying to pull you up, Si Cheng could not focus on saving you and controlling the pain he was unconsciously inflicting on your flesh.

“You are not God. You are just an angel who has disappointed Him, like me.”

“We are not alike.” Si Cheng’s grasp unravelled from your arms, letting them sink back under the black liquid.

“You are a sinful woman.”

“Where are you going?” You screeched at him, trying to fight your back from folding itself. Tears were now falling without control as you realized you had really done it this time.

“Heaven. See you there.”

The pain suddenly halted. Si Cheng left and another angel entered. Upon seeing your body partially submerged in Christ’s Blood and Devil’s fuel, he lifted you from the tub and rid you from the onyx glaze. He never spoke a word to you for the rest of your life by your side.

And you could only assume that it was because “The seed falling among the thorns refers to someone who hears the word, but the worries of this life and the deceitfulness of wealth choke the word, making it unfruitful.” (Matthew 13:22)

𝐎𝐜𝐭𝐨𝐛𝐞𝐫 𝟐𝟖. 𝟗�� 𝐘𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐬 𝐋𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐫.

“Happy birthday, Number 1028!” A party hat was forced onto Sicheng’s head by Archangel of Love Number 6, poking through his halo like a cloudy mountain.

“Hey! It’s my birthday, too!” Archangel of Birth Number 1028 pouted at being one-upped by his Brother in Christ.

“Yes, but it’s Guardian Angel Number 1028’s birthday.” Number 6 clarifies, using his title to mockingly signify importance.

“Such social hierarchy is hellish! This is Heaven!”

“Right, it is finally the year you are no longer banned from Earth and can be a guardian again!” The angels gather around Si Cheng to "ooh" at his year of redemption.

“It is my loyal duty to serve God with the occupation he gifts me.” He dismisses their awe with words of loyalty to his creator.

“She is ready.” His Heavenly Father calls for His Guardian Angel Number 1028 to meet his valuable assignment.

When he walks into the incubation room, Si Cheng is met with the eery feeling of deja vu. A disheartening sense of nostalgia washes over him as well. Then he sees a design on the fertilized egg in the incubator.

Those marks.

The scarring on the biological sphere are like vents that send the aromas of Giuseppe Quintarelli and Diesel gasoline to his nose.

Si Cheng suddenly could no longer feel the comfort of his halo, fear zapped through him as he could feel evil beings tempting him through all four walls of the incubation room instead. Light burning aches and agonizing pains danced along his back.

His vision went black and his mind regressed to 9 months before this October day, 118 years ago. The Heavenly Father took his body, that was wrapped up in his mother’s egg and his father’s sperm, into His hands and placed him next to yours, both of your fertilized compartments looking like identical twins.

“You have much still to learn, my son.”

*Black Christian = A Christian who betrays God, like Archangel Lucifer betraying Jesus and becoming Satan.

𝘲𝘪𝘢𝘯𝘰𝘪𝘳

[mrs-march-ahs]

Tell Me You Write Your IQ With A Crayon Without Telling Me You Write Your IQ With A Crayon

I’m happy to explain my views and want to reply to you like this.

“I’m sorry, but if you think that men have some sort of advantage over women, you are a lost soul. Women have every single perceptible advantage available to them.”

Men are allowed to choose what to wear without worrying about being raped. If women do choose to wear what they want and do get raped, and possibly get pregnant, they can’t always make the decision about their own bodies. Men still have a right to decide what happens inside of a woman’s body.

“And false rape allegations have become more and more common as time has passed. That’s why I bring that up.”

Less than half of rape accusations even get to COURT. You actually think that a rape allegation can ruin a man’s life, when there are women who genuinely went through those traumatizing experiences and possibly have PROOF and don’t even get to court? Those fake accusations (which still are only the case maybe 1% of the time, by the way) will not get very far and will not make any impact. But the real impact that happens to raped or assaulted women WILL stay with them for the rest of their lives. Undoubtedly. Those accusations will not stay with that man forever.

Source: https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-48095118

“You have literal SlutWalks across the nation celebrating female promiscuity, and it is far more celebrated than male promiscuity.”

Honestly? I thought you were trolling for a second. Men are allowed to wear shorts and not wear tops if they want to. They can show their nipples off for the world to see and nothing will happen to them. Men can walk down the pier, beach, or even down the STREET with flip flops and shorts and nothing will happen to them. They will not be catcalled, harassed, or fearful for their lives. If a woman wears a swimsuit at a beach or pool where she is swimming she will be catcalled or harassed. It is celebrated because it is far braver. Women’s bodies are still policed.

“Do I think that men are victims? No. However, if this goes as far as it is going, they are going to be and I’m not gonna let that happen.”

Poooooor men, having to deal with co-existing with women, without being able to touch them whenever they want. Poor little men won’t be able to whistle at random teenagers down the street. Good thing you singlehandedly are going to stop that.

“If you take prison rapes into account, subtracting the ones put on sexual predators and pedophiles, men are actually raped more often than women.”

Incredible point. And who do you think rapes those men in prison? Women? I don’t think so.

“Also, please explain to me how a woman can fertilize her egg without sperm. Please do, I would very much like to know your side of the story here.”

Men are literally not needed.

Source: https://www.bbc.com/future/article/20140530-do-we-need-sex-to-reproduce#:~:text=As%20New%20Scientist%20reported%20earlier,more%20often%20than%20we%20thought. Source: https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-79711/We-create-babies-men-claim-scientists.html Source: https://bmcbiol.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s12915-018-0574-8

Also, I recommend watching the 1984 film Sex Mission.

“I say that the feminist movement was a good thing back in the ‘50s and '60s, however now, it has grown out of control”

Back when women wanted basic rights like working and not being beaten, I was okay with it, since it benefitted me. But now that they want to be truly equal and walk down the street with no bras or showing their nipples, I think this has all gone too far. I’m willing to give them some rights, but I think now that they want to be president and all that, they should calm down.

“The only thing I want is a purple world (meaning both women and men exist in harmony - men are represented with the color blue and women with pink - mix the two and it’s purple) but from the way that I see it, this has grown out of control like a wildfire with gasoline being splashed on it.”

You can claim that’s what you want, but the fact that you made your original post proves that you do not want men and women to be equals. You want them to exist in ‘harmony’, where women still benefit men. You want to live in the 70s (since you claimed that feminism wasn’t needed past 60) before women were allowed to have credit cards without their husband’s signature. You want them to co-exist peacefully as long as men are still slightly superior.

“That’s the way that I see it. Would you be willing to show me your side of the story and the way that you think? I’d love to hear it.”

Of course. And because I am not a coward, and not ashamed of my views, I am willing to post it. Out of respect, I cut out certain parts and didn’t reply to every word of yours.

This is not ‘my side of the story’. This is real life. This is what’s happening in this world. Where women are still actively being censored and silenced. Decisions about women’s bodies are made without having them in the conversation.

Like I told you in my original message, ‘if women told men that the next 40 presidents would all be women, they would flip. there would be rioting and lootings about inequality. but that's exactly what equality would be. i respect you for expressing your opinion even though i certainly don't agree with any of it. i think you have a very outdated way of thinking, thinking that we don't 'need feminism' anymore, because you want women to protest and shout for equality, but you're tired of it now so you want them to stop. that is not equality.’

Like I told you in my original message, ‘we still need feminism when women can't make decisions on their own bodies in the 21st century, and that's in the more modern countries, not even bringing up the fact that in so many places in the world genital mutilation is still legal and common. breast ironing happens in the UK to young girls when they start growing breasts. their mothers chose to iron them down so they look unappealing to protect them from men sexualising them as soon as they grow up.’

I don’t think you listened to what I wrote, so I suggest you read it again. You pick and choose what you want to see, but that doesn’t mean that what you choose to ignore doesn’t exist.

[jane-d-ankh-veos]

What I’m also immensely thankful for in the Railway and Ambitions is that the Calendar Council has been finally given some credit. "Lost in Reflections", "The Calendar Code" and Sunless Skies are comforting exceptions (which made me fall in love with them more and more), but mostly they were awfully written in the past. Destinies: the most WTF example is killing December in "...use it wisely". First of all, you’re near the Mountain of Light that gives immortality to that part of the Elder Continent (where, for example, even ordinary people of Grandinia were simply unable to die). Second, December is someone clearly supernatural, and in no way would be so easy to assassinate. Third, they’re a mastermind who conspires against gods themselves, and would have figured out your true plans in advance, or at least wouldn’t attack right away. So essentially it’s "how to ruin a character in three steps", and I hate it, especially in contrast with how I like the other option of this Destiny and how I admire December in Skies. And the Destiny with the Liberation of Night is a failure altogether because it doesn’t even mention what the Liberation is and why revolutionaries want it (which leads to 90% of the hatred it receives, since people who don’t bother with lore or haven’t played Skies have nothing more to associate it with but destruction). Sunless Sea: I’m still mad at that quest of the Empire of Hands where you may choose to deliver the secret information to February, and... Something Very Bad Happens. Why? Well, probably Because They’re Very Bad. What exactly? You will never know, she just burns London down for some reason. It’s definitely not the case when dangerous characters are complex and vague writing is intriguingly mysterious; it’s just obviously lazy. "A Little Pandemonium": the same problem as with the Destiny. November and her Liberationists are portrayed as people who simply bring chaos, with no insight into their true motivations or any hints why light is no less cruel than what they resort to. "Cut with Moonlight": yes, it’s confirmed now that September prioritizes opposing the Empire over Masters and Judgements, and that’s fine. It could have been his cameo alone. But why December? And why September is called September before the Fall? And if so, what the hell is the Council (or their followers) doing on the Surface? When July went there in another ES, it still was for matters of the Bazaar. And December is usually aiming higher than even that. If a city isn’t Fallen and isn’t going to, there are no reason for them to focus on some particular one so much, because the Surface has all kinds of its own revolutionaries who can deal with it, and the Council’s whole thing is that they’re an esoteric society of revs of the Neath, Parabola and High Wilderness, doing what others can’t (or even don’t know about). So it looks like yet another instance of "we need an antagonist, these evil anarchists will do". Hallowmas: and then there’s the Haunted Doctor’s confession about March, with no ground for the assassination other than "his religion conflicted with his politics". Which explains absolutely nothing. Conflicted in what ways? How did March himself justify/deny/balance it? Why didn’t he just leave the Council (like Bourdain or the Curt Relicker)? Why was he allowed to join it in the first place then? Was it the whole Council who voted for it, or several members, or just one (who may have had personal reasons, and it would maintain the desired "they have internal disagreements" effect just as much)? Nope, it’s Because They’re Bad all over again, which is not only lazy but also at odds with how thoughtful and well-intentioned (despite what they have to do and sacrifice for the future, which is a much deeper and better drama... that is completely ignored here, yes) they are in other stories and individually. ...Maybe I’m too harsh to writers of a free game made by an indie studio. But not only because I see that their writing can be amazing (and in most of it, truly is), or because of my favourite characters. I’m also incredibly tired of dealing with the very same "the opposition is bad because it’s bad" and "the opposition only wants to destroy everything" in real life. Portraying fictional rebels against status quo as cartoon villains is a part of feeding these stereotypes – the ones why I constantly have to explain not-so-obvious-to-others things (that giving women rights won’t ruin society, that queer people don’t want to destroy families and eliminate morality, that protesters wouldn’t break the law if they had other ways to express their silenced opinion, etc.) to be allowed to be myself and live in peace. So when FL/SS takes inspiring characters who lead a similar fight (against the Chain for freedom of being who you want to be, against powerful censors and murderers such as the Judgements and the Bazaar...) and turns them into the above examples, it hurts way more.

[ajokeformur-ray]

Ten is my Doctor.

There are so many things I want to do with him, but the thing I would want the most is for the both of us to sit with our legs dangling out of the TARDIS while we're stationary above a nebula or something which is being born with brilliant hues of purples, blues, reds, pinks. The silence is loud but it's comforting and so is the ambient hum of the TARDIS as she keeps us supplied with oxygen even though her doors are wide open. I was eight when I met my Doctor and I'm twenty-three now and I feel like because of this, I would feel the freest to speak with Ten about anything and everything. The way the Vashta Nerada had me shaking in fear and sobbing today in my bedroom for ten minutes while I fought to calm down, so wound up that even in the daylight I was checking myself for two shadows. The way I've slept with the lights on ever since I first encountered them when I was nine. The way I've always carried him with me in the back of my mind and the way I've always tried to make him proud. The way my bedroom door is painted like the TARDIS because I never feel safer than I do when I'm with him and it's my way of keeping him close. The way I see his darkness and I find an odd sort of comfort in it because if he can be that angry, that furious, but still choose to be kind... then so can I. The way that he's just... so him and all the ways he's encouraged and been there for me over the years even though I was and have been so horrible alone in my life. He is the Lonely God and I want to be stood beside him, to help him in any way that I can or to die for him if it comes down to it. I want him to hold me impossibly close to his body and to tell me that he is proud, that I can do it and I am doing it. To tell me that I'm more than I know. To tell me everything I need to hear, everything I tell others but rarely tell myself, the most important person in my life.

I want the Eleventh Doctor to sit beside me while we gaze up at the night sky together, the wind gently teasing our hair, the temperature steadily getting cooler so that we inch closer and closer together to preserve warmth. We could talk about anything and everything or just sit in silence and simply be together. I probably wouldn't say much at all for fear of saying something very stupid, but I feel like he would be able to pick up on that and he'd be his loveable goofball self and pull me out of my shell so wonderfully that I don't even know he's doing it until I'm laughing without censoring myself in any kind of way and he's just grinning at me with that gleam in his beautiful green eyes because humans are brilliant. I want to hug him and to tell him the things he needs to hear, though what can I say that he hasn't already been told a thousand times over? He's so tired and I want to give him a place he can go to rest and to be. I want him to cup my face in his hands and kiss me on the forehead and tell me that he's proud of me, especially during the times I think he wouldn't be. I want to be carefree and silly with him, to build pillow forts and eat so much chocolate that we're both feeling sick by noon because that's the only way to eat chocolate, to stay up all night watching films and eating sticky popcorn, to make fish fingers and custard at three am (a combination I have tried once before and actually enjoyed, oddly???), to be a child again and to know that just like I was the first and only time around, I'm safe with him.

I want the Twelfth Doctor to come forward at me (carefully because my nickname is 'fawn' for a reason and he'll scare me to the point of brief, minor chest pains if he's too quick or sudden), eyebrows raised, cup my face in his hands and tell me, "look at you, Erika! Scared, but you're doing it!" I want him to give me that soft smile which he gives people when they surprise him and he doesn't want to admit it. I want to be able to vent on the phone to him and say something negative about myself and he just says "no" in response, as if to tell me that I'm wrong. I want to thank him for always reminding me to be kind, for always reminding me to be myself, for always reminding me to do what's right even though it's not easy. I want to thank him and to know that he's always going to be with me in one way or the other, even if I don't know he's there. I want to hold his hand and sit there with him so that he has the chance, if he wants it, to talk. I'm a baby in the grand scheme of things, what could I say in return? But I would listen and I would try to be the person he needs in that moment. I want to hug him and to tell him that I see him and I appreciate all that he is and all that he will ever be, that I feel so connected to him and that he's helped me so much, especially with my chaotic and dysfunctional family, and that he is my family because I feel most at home when I'm with him. As I write this I have been awake for seventeen hours and I'm so tired but I'm staying awake for a few minutes more just for five more minutes with him, to watch some more scenes and to feel him here with me.

I suppose, if I could do just one thing mentioned here, then I want nothing more than for the Doctor during his every regeneration to know that he is loved. I won't ever be able to fully articulate why, even to myself, but I'd die trying to tell the Doctor these things; inadequate such as those words, such as I, am.

[pray4jensen]

idk I guess I'm at the point where seeing people say "there are better ways to do these things" just makes me very tired. okay? so what are the better ways? who is putting together those projects to do so? donating to charities is great; but the Clexa fandom did the same thing after the CW killed off Lexa, and we still had an implicit byg moment with Cas. nothing was learned. all we've done is maintain the status quo. so what's the point? what's the point.

when i talk about a better way, i’m not talking about sticking solely with methods that are quiet or that could fly under the radar like fundraisers. of course, we’ve got to be loud to some extent, we’ve got to get people to notice what’s going on, and we’ve got to rally support to make it clear that our voice matters and that our opinion matters and that what happened to us was wrong, in a way that no one who opposes us could spin it a different way.

but it’s also about having the right message. we want better queer rep? then we need to make our efforts about that. we need to highlight it across the board, across all the shows that are tied to their particular network and show the systemic nature of how this network silences queer voices. we need to point to the stories themselves, the way that they’re told, and the way that they end, to form a critique that is both cohesive and all-encompassing.

what’s not helpful is focusing all our attention and energy into conspiracy theories, trying to prove something was cut from the script, because then our message becomes about finding out “what they’re trying to hide” and not about “what they do.” the truth is that everything we need to build a solid argument is already out there. because we don’t need to find out if a ‘me too’ was cut to prove that queer material was censored. we already know censorship happened, and we can illustrate it in a hundred different examples from the stories we’ve seen play out on our screens. 

if we insist on conspiracy, the message we want to send becomes muddled and the result that we want to see is lost. because when we ask the question “what are they trying to hide?” then we imply that the result we want most is the network to admit that “destiel was censored.” but when we say “hey, look at how they’ve done this across so many different shows,” then we imply that the result that we want most is better queer representation. at the end of the day, that’s what it should be about. we can’t get back what we lost with spn, but we can prevent future stories like spn from getting silenced. we can prevent a future dean and cas from having to dance around each other for 12 years only to die quiet meaningless deaths.

you talk about being tired of queer stories ending in unsatisfying ways, and you talk about what the point is trying to go about this issue in a different way, and i hear you, anon, i really do and i feel that same tiredness you feel in my bones, and sometimes i think about what the point in it all is, but it all comes back down to the same thing: if we go with conspiracy theories and focus all our energy in proving them, then all we get at the end is one result: the knowledge whether destiel was censored or not censored. but if we approach this in a way that places emphasis on what we already know and see, if we talk about the way this censorship exists across all content on their network, then the result we get is less stories that end in unsatisfying ways, less tiredness, less hopelessness because destiel truly is not the only queer story that matters—it is just one of so very many that deserved better than they got.

[fluffykitty1999-blog]

Dog of the Military- Chapter 26

Chapter 26- New Room

Hello! This is just another reminder- if you’re into my fanfictions and they bring you enjoyment, I’d super appreciate it if you could go over and leave an encouraging comment at my ko-fi here https://ko-fi.com/fluffykitty12, or even slip me $3 for snacks. 

Thanks so much! :)

The hospital was full. Or at least, that was the excuse they gave them when they were unceremoniously dumped into a second bed that'd been placed in Mr. Water's room.

The quarters were a bit tight- Roy had to relocated his plastic chair to the foot of ed's bed rather than beside it, but after settling Ed into the new bedding, the remainder of the night passed quietly.

It was around seven that morning when a knock on the door frame caught his attention.

Roy couldn't help it- he broke into an exhausted smile at the sight of Hughes.

"Finally. None of my team had spoken to me since yesterday, I was beginning to worry."

"Yeah, well, there's a reason for that. They managed to apprehend the fake judge fleeing the scene, but Banks managed to get away. They've been doing paperwork and issuing orders for the capture of Banks since then. The higher ups are eager to put a lid on this while fiasco- they're embarrassed it's even happened. How's Ed doing?"

"Seems to be alright. Except a Drachman operative broke into his hospital room last night and tried to abduct him."

Hughes jolted, looking shocked. "You're kidding!"

Roy shook his head. "I'm not."

"Mr. Mustang!" their conversation was interrupted by nurse Aubrey jogging over, holding a clipboard and looking out of breath. "I have those blood test results you wanted."

Roy cocked an eyebrow. "And what do they say?"

"Well, Ed's blood type is A+, and several of the other blood smears were found to be B-. So Edward wasn't alone in his room last night. Someone else was there. I'm sorry I didn't believe you."

Roy shrugged.

Hughes decided to make himself known, peering at the paper on her clipboard and adjusting his glasses. "Say, can I get a copy of that, please? I'm Colonel Maes Hughes of investigations- I have no doubt the military is going to want me investigating just who would try and attack a hospitalized state alchemist. I also want the room Ed was attacked in sealed off- I'll process the crime scene later."

"Of course." Aubrey hurried off to do as she was told, and Roy and Hughes sat in silence for a moment.

"So." Hughes finally spoke up, face impassive. "It appears Edward might've been onto something with his whole 'Banks is a Drachman spy' theory."

"It certainly looks that way." Roy agreed. "Either that- or Banks wasn't involved, but now that he's backed into a corner, any Drachman operatives are capitalizing on the chance to scoop him up. But why bother trying to take Ed too?"

"Ed's knowledge of Alchemy is a good enough reason as any. He knows more than most alchemists in the country- he could easily train Alchemists for the Drachman army. They've wanted to learn alchemy for decades now. And Ed's young- he's got a lot of potential, he's still forming his opinions and growing up. They'd want to capitalize on that- mold him into a ruthless killer."

Isn't that what you want to do as well? that small voice in the back of his head hissed. The same one that tortured him about Ishval at night. But Roy brushed it aside- it was lying, he cared for Ed like his own son. He was only trying to do what was best for Ed. And for your reputation, you heartless bastard.

"I know you need to be here. I get it. But your office is sorely missing you in your absence. Hawkeye is doing her best- I have Brosch, Ross and Armstrong watching the hospital starting today. No one else will come near him."

"Right." Roy ran a hand through his hair, looking at Hughes. "Can you stay with him? For a little while? I need someone I can trust with him- someone who I know can protect him." Roy thought fo all the knives Hughes kept hidden on his person. He pitied any Drachman who tried to abduct Ed from his best friend.

"Yeah, I can stay." Hughes frowned. "Where are you gonna go, though? The office?"

"Probably. Was going to stop home and at least chance my clothes first. Have a quick shave, probably."

His uniform was wrinkled from sleeping in it and smeared with Ed's dried blood. His five o' clock shadow was also getting out of control.

Hughes nodded, smiling slightly. "Yeah. I haven't seen you this bad since our last bender. I can stay half the day with him."

"That's all I need. Thank you."

"No problem. Take care of what you need to at the office." Hughes took his place sitting in Roy's plastic chair at the foot of Ed's bed. Ed was still sleeping- Roy had wet a cloth and cleaned the blood from the boy's face hours ago, and he looked peaceful, despite his circumstances.

"Alphonse is with Gracia and Elicia for the time being- he's probably going to want to see Ed later today."

"I'll bring him back with me on my way back from the office." Roy promised absently.

"Alright, thank you." Hughes smiled, and Roy returned the look.

He almost felt bad that he was lying to the man's face. Almost.

LINEBREAK LINEBREAK LINEBREAK

"You look like hell." Madame Christmas didn't parse words, sliding him a glass of cold bourbon across the bar as a way of greeting. IT wasn't even 9am yet, but Roy took the drink happily.

"You made the papers again." his aunt put down a copy of the newest Gazette in front of him- FULLMETAL ALCHEMIST SHOT IN COURT MARTIAL DEBACLE. The front page featured him clinging to Ed, trying to stop the boy's bleeding. It wasn't exactly a flattering shot, and Roy wondered briefly how the press had managed to get that picture.

"Are you alright?" He looked up to meet his Aunt's dark brown eyes at the question- she was being sincere, and he nodded.

"I'm okay."

"And that boy of yours? The prodigy they shot?"

"He's gonna be okay too. Bullet hit him in the arm."

"And yet you're here instead of watching him. Which means you need something." his Aunt tapped her long fingernails on the bar, looking pensive.

"How much have you read about the courtmartial?"

"All of it. But it isn't much. The Furher withholds most of the details- all I know is that man was facing charges of misconduct that the Fullmetal Alchemist boy uncovered."

Roy fought the urge to wince. Yes, of course the military would've white washed everything and censored it. The general population didn't need to know the gruesome scope of Bank's misdeeds.

"That Colonel Banks is still on the lamb. He hasn't been here, if that's what you're searching for." Madame Christmas said, reaching down to start polishing some glasses.

"That's not what I'm here for."

"Then what? We both know you aren't here to visit Vanessa."

"Some fellows who ought not have visited Amestris have come here. Foreign- Drachman, I think. Tried to kidnap Ed last night- and I have a feeling that they're trying to get into contact with Banks and smuggle him from the country. An outfit like that wouldn't just send one man- they'd send several. A team, maybe. Men like that go looking for girls. Have you seen any?"

Madame Christmas had stopped polishing her glass abruptly and set it down, nodding once. "Yeah. Five who'd fit your description, recently. I don't ask too many questions. What would you like to do with them? They're quite rough customers- hardly pay for their drinks, rough with my girls. So what do you have in mind?"

"I want to speak to one. Doesn't matter which, any of them will do. As soon as you can."

"You'll be delivering the usual message to someone who's unkind to my girls?"

"And then some. For trying to take my Alchemist." Roy swirled his glass, taking another sip. He was almost done.

"How soon can you deliver by?"

His aunt scoffed. "Tonight. One of those dogs is always by, at least one, every night."

"I'll speak to you soon, then." He finished his drink, placing his money on the bar and standing.

"Thanks, Auntie."

"Not a problem, my boy."

LINEBREAK LINEBREAK LINEBREAK

Roy managed to stop at the office for two hours- Alphonse had decided to walk there from the Hughes' residence- so it turned out he hadn't completely lied to Hughes when he said he was going to the office.

Either way, he was back at the hospital at one with Alphonse and a fresh cup of coffee in tow.

"What do you mean I can't leave yet!? They just gave me this whole bag of blood I have more than enough now! I want to go!" Roy heard Ed before he saw him, and he gave a tired grin, sipping his coffee as he and Al strode into the room.

"The doctors want you here another day and that's what's going to happen." Hughes said, ever-patient.

Mr. Waters was sitting in his bed reading a book on barrel-making, seemingly hardly disturbed by the commotion.

When Alphonse walked into the room, however, he looked up, eyes brightening. "What craftsmanship! I'm a welder- let me have a look at you!"

If Alphonse could've blushed, he would've. but he walked over to the bed anyways, letting the construction worker rave about how well his joints fit together and the well-placed rivets of his design.

Ed cast a glance at his roommate, watching him talk to his brother, before he noticed Roy and perked up.

"Can we go home yet?"

"What's this I heard about the doctors wanting you to stay another day?" Roy cast a glance at Hughes, who crossed his arms over his chest and nodded. "Ed did well during his blood transfusion, but he's still dizzy and tired. They want to watch him for one more day."

"Then that's final. You're staying for another day." Roy took a sip of his coffee, symbiotically absorbing the caffeine through his tongue to fortify himself for the coming outburst.

"This is stupid! I should be out there catching the bastard who shot me, not sitting around in this stupid hospital!"

"You're pale as the sheets. I hardly think another day in the hospital could hurt." Roy remarked.

"Who're you calling so anemic he doesn't even have the iron to be called a fortified cereal?!" Ed kicked his feet beneath the sheets and ranted.

Well, that's a new one. Roy thought to himself.

"You said I could sleep on the couch again! Last night!" Ed had turned back to whining, and Roy was slightly surprised he even remembered the exchange they'd had in the emergency room.

"Yes. And you can. Once the doctors say you're well enough to come home, and not a minute sooner. Speaking of fun things people said- you said a lot of things, Ed. You threatened to bite an EMT, accused him of trying to steal you leg, and said something about riding in the wee-woo wagon."

"Wee-woo wagon?" Alphonse asked, tinny vice echoing the question.

"He was too drugged up to think of the word ambulance." Roy supplied.

Alphonse and Mr. Waters burst out laughing, Hughes was grinning, and Ed flushed bright red in embarrassment, a red hashtag throbbing on his temple.

"Don't sweat it, Ed. Investigations and everyone is working hard to catch Banks and everyone else involved in this. You just need to rest up." Hughes said, standing up from his place on the chair and stretching.

"And I'm sure Colonel Mustang here agrees."

Roy nodded, taking his seat back and pulling out a large stack of papers from his briefcase. "I do. In fact, Hawkeye wanted me to stay here and do my paperwork to make sure you don't decide to sneak out of the hospital."

Ed's pout made his facial structure sag so much he looked like a pug, and he crossed his arms over his chest.

"So unfair. Why do I have to get punished when I'm the one who's been shot..."

"Cheer up laddy." Mr. Waters piped up. "'Least you ain't had a brick dropped on yer head."

[poliel]

Surprise Egg 12/13: You Saved Buddy

“Of everyone I would’ve thought might decide jump off like that, I never would’ve guessed you’d be one,” Beffica said as she sidled up next to Filbo at the wheel.

“I couldn’t leave Buddy behind.” Not after everything they’d done for everyone else.

“Yeah, I suppose that’s true. Still wouldn’t have thought you had it in you. So… good job, I guess.”

Filbo tensed, gripping the wheel spokes a little harder because whenever she said something nice to him it was always followed by her turning it into a nasty backhanded compliment. … But no such thing was coming? … “Thanks?”

She laughed. “Wow, other than Buddy, people really don’t say nice things to you often, huh?”

“Not really, no.” It was really the fact that it was coming from her though that had put him off a bit. “And uh… I didn’t really do anything other than almost get myself killed so… yeah.” He didn’t really deserve someone telling him he’d done a ‘good job’ because he hadn’t.

“Nonsense, you saved Buddy. Probably anyway, it was kind of hard to see with how far it was and how unsteady the boat was. But I’m pretty sure their chances of dying back there would’ve been a lot higher if you hadn’t jumped down. So good job.” She patted him firmly on the back. “Gosh, I never would’ve thought I’d ever say anything like that to you of all people. But I guess that’s just how life is sometimes.”

“Uh… thanks.”

“Anyway, it looks like Cromdo wants to talk to you too so I’ll leave you to it or whatever.” With a dismissive paw wave, she turned and left.

Filbo turned to see that Cromdo had come up on his other side and was now standing there looking awkward. “Uh… hi Cromdo?”

“Yes uh… hi. I just wanted to say… uh well, how do it put this? Um… Hmmm…”

“You’re sorry you tried to leave without Buddy?” Filbo guessed.

Cromdo perked up, his snarky grin returning. “Yep, that’s it. That exact thing.”

“It’s fine.”

“Wait, you ain’t mad?”

“No. It was… the smart thing to do.” Looking back on it, there was no way Filbo could deny it even if he still hated the thought of it. “That Mama Mewon would’ve destroyed the ship if we’d hung around there for even a few more seconds. And then all of us would’ve been in pretty big trouble. So it’s fine.”

“Oh uh… cool. You sounded awful mad back there though, I ain’t never heard you growl like that before.”

“Oh uh… I try not but… it was a rather heated moment.” He’d growled at the Mama Mewon too even if it was only for at most a second or two. It had just happened not long ago yet and already he felt disconnected from it as if it had happened long ago or he’d seen someone else do it.

“But anyway uh… good job on saving Buddy and all that.” He too patted Filbo on the back before walking away.

“Thanks.”

In the next few hours almost everyone else onboard expressed surprise about Filbo jumping off to save Buddy and some kind of commendation for it as well. It was nice but… weird. Not knowing how to respond, he always just said ‘thanks’ and left it at that. Thankfully everyone was a bit too emotionally exhausted to talk about such things long and thus it wasn’t brought up for long.

Leaving Filbo to focus on piloting the ship as the sun finally rose. Despite that everyone else were finding places, mostly on deck or heading into the cabin to sleep. He’d have to join them soon because somehow even despite how worried he was about Buddy he was still very tired. The lack of sleep last night and the events of it were more than starting to catch up with him. He’d push himself for a little bit longer though.

Some hours later after everyone’s had some sleep and are awake again

“We should endeavor to keep bugsnax a secret,” Snorpy suddenly announced, breaking over the low murmur of conversation that had fallen over everyone milling around the deck.

“Why?” Gramble asked.

It was Floofty who answered him. “While normally I would brush Snorpyington’s fears off as baseless paranoia, we’ve discussed it privately with Triffany, who informed us of what we missed of Buddy’s interview of Lizbert, and all three of us came to the same conclusion. Bugsnax are dangerous and insidious. If we let the world know of them, many would be adventurers would find their way to Snaktooth Island in search of them and would consequently fall prey to their manipulations. Much like how all of us nearly did even despite our initial caution.”

That was a fair point; at the start of the expedition everyone had been wary about bugsnax and their transformative properties but quickly everyone’s fears had gone away. Looking back on it now, everyone had become okay with it much faster than was probably wise and other than Shelda hadn’t questioned it since. But while keeping them secret was probably wise and Filbo agreed with the idea of doing so… “Buddy’s not going to like that.” It felt wrong to take their story away from them after everything they’d suffered through for it.

“I know,” Triffany said from her spot by the cabin door. “But they’ll understand.”

Knowing how passionate they were about it, Filbo wasn’t so sure but, while it would take some convincing, they probably would ultimately concede to the wisdom of it. … “How are they by the way? Have they woken up, yet?” Surely they’d have come out of the cabin by now if they had and it’s not like Filbo would’ve missed them doing so. Though it could’ve been when he was sleeping.

“Last I saw they were still sleeping. Me and Wamby have been taking turns keeping an eye on them. But, if we’re all in agreement about keeping the bugsnax secret, I’ll go wake them real quick to check on them and make sure they know to censor their story.” She turned to look at everyone else gathered on the deck. After getting a general mumble of agreement from them, she turned and headed into the cabin.

With that apparently decided, everyone went back to their soft private conversations or silence. Filbo went back to focusing on steering the ship. He’d never been the best pilot but if the weather continued to hold fair he could probably get them back to the mainland in a couple more days, depending on how long and how often he ended up resting for.

When he got there though, to keep the bugsnax a secret, he wouldn’t be able to go home. … That was fine, he’d already decided with Buddy that he was going to stick with them. He could wait a few weeks to visit his family until the snakifcation wore off. And during that time he’d ensure Buddy rested tons and got plenty to eat and didn’t run about the place nearly 24/7 or splash around in freezing cold water. For once, he was going to take care of them whether they liked it or not. And then maybe once his snakification had worn off he could introduce them to his family. And then Budd could…

“You still don’t want anything to do with the egg, right?”

He looked up to see Gramble had approached the wheel. “Huh?”

“The egg. We’re trying to figure out what do with it now that we ain’t all going to be living in the same town no more. Of course we’ll have to talk to Triffany and Wambus about it too but for now, we’ve decided we’re all going to hole up in Wiggle’s mansion until the snakification wears off everyone else and then decide what to do with it after that. But I figured since it’s biologically yours and Buddy’s we should ask you too. Since you know, initially you at least were going to still see it and the grumpling around and stuff since we were all living real close together but now that’s not the case so… just wanted to ask if you want anything to do with it.”

“Oh uh… I’d rather not have any part in raising or watching it or being any kind of responsible for it general, if that’s what you mean. Maybe when the kid’s older I can act like their uncle or something. Just… don’t tell them I’m their biological parent, please.” That was not the kind of responsibility or pressure he wanted right now or any time in the near future, or perhaps ever. Buddy seemed pretty adamant about not having kids at any point and Filbo was okay with that idea. So maybe they could be one of those childless couples that a lot of the older generations liked to hate on. His parents weren’t going to like that but this wasn’t about them.

“All right.” Gramble almost seemed to sigh. “I still don’t get that mindset but… I guess if it makes you happy then…”

“Buddy’s not waking up.”

Filbo snapped his attention over to Triffany, standing holding the cabin door open. “Uh… hold the wheel for a bit, please Gramble.”

“W-why me?” he stammered but took the wheel as Filbo stepped away.

Ignoring him, Filbo went straight to Triffany, following her into the cabin. “What do you mean Buddy’s not waking up?”

It was Wambus who answered though. “She means they ain’t waking up.” He was sitting on the floor, leaning back against the rear wall next where Buddy still lay, their backpack under their head. “We tried everything but they ain’t even stirring a bit.”

“W-well they’re just really tired, right? They’ll be fine in a few hours.” Because they had to be after everything else, they’d survived.

Triffany gave him concerned look. “Perhaps. I’m worried though. If they continue not waking up then eventually… you know.”

“Well then… if… if they’re not awake and better by the time we reach the mainland then we’re taking them straight to the ER even if that means we can’t keep our snakification a secret.” Before she or Wambus could try to voice a protest, he turned and left, pulling the cabin door closed again, barely refraining from slamming.

“Is Buddy okay?” Gramble asked as Filbo returned, taking the wheel from him.

“No but… but I can’t do anything except get them back to land faster.” And he wasn’t going to rest until he’d done so.

[passionate-reply]

Are you tired of Great Albums being about music people have actually heard of? Do you want me to just go ape shit, and review obscure minimal wave cassettes from the 80s? Admittedly, Oppenheimer Analysis’s New Mexico is one of the most famous weird minimal wave cassettes, and for good reason: it actually holds up quite well as an album! Come check out what all the fuss is about. Transcript below the break.

Welcome to Passionate Reply, and welcome to Great Albums! Today, I’ll be talking about a very cultish cult classic, and an album that’s one of the definitive works in the very underground scene of so-called “minimal wave”: New Mexico, the only full album released by the duo “Oppenheimer Analysis.” The band’s namesake was actually lead vocalist Andy Oppenheimer, who became acquainted with instrumentalist Martin Lloyd at the 1979 World Science Fiction Convention, where the pair bonded over speculative fiction, Midcentury graphic design and propaganda, and the work of early British electronic pioneers like the Human League. 1982’s New Mexico was these two’s first recording as a group, but Lloyd did go into it with one credit--the year prior, he and David Rome of Drinking Electricity released a double A-side, featuring the jumpy, playful instrumentals “Surface Tension'' and “Connections.” They referred to their act as “Analysis,” making it feel very much a part of the Oppenheimer Analysis story.

Music: “Surface Tension”

Oppenheimer, meanwhile, was a true outsider artist, making a living as a nuclear science writer without any substantive musical background. While not all minimal wave is “outsider music,” and not all electronic outsider music is minimal wave, there’s certainly a correlation there. Oppenheimer’s reedy, somewhat strained voice lends New Mexico the punkish charm that only utterly untrained vocalists can offer: a vessel that cracks and buckles as it fails to contain the raw emotion within.

Music: “Martyr”

The addition of a singer is one major distinction between New Mexico and Lloyd’s earlier compositions, but they’re also very different in tone. As I said earlier, the “Analysis” instrumentals are sort of light-hearted and sprightly, a bit reminiscent of the jazzy synth experiments of artists like Jean-Jacques Perrey and Gershon Kingsley. New Mexico is substantially darker and more gothic, as befitting an LP that’s at least partially a concept album about the nuclear age.

Music: “The Devil’s Dancers��

While nuclear anxiety is an indispensable theme of the album, it’s never a suffocating one that makes it feel horribly antiquated to modern ears. It’s a very aestheticized rumination on nuclear themes, that never jumps up and hollers, “bombs are bad!” Take, for example, the track “Radiance,” probably the best-known track on New Mexico...to the extent that any of them are that well-known. It’s one of the album’s most languorous, atmospheric moments, and paints a vividly desolate picture of ground zero after a detonation, with its fluttering, delicate, but ultimately frigid synth flourishes.

Music: “Radiance”

I think my favourite part of “Radiance” is actually its lyrical turn: an atomic blast isn’t like the radiance of a thousand suns, but rather, vice versa. The latter is the one that’s merely theoretical and dwells in the realm of poetic license, whereas the former is a historical fact that we all have to contend with. “Radiance” is quite solid, but in many ways it’s a pale imitation of the title track, a seven-minute sprawl that works exquisitely as a kind of musical landscape painting:

Music: “New Mexico”

Painfully evocative, with an eerie, almost yearning undercurrent, “New Mexico” is easily the track that feels the most grand and epic. I would really have loved for it to be given more of a place of honour in the tracklisting, possibly as the closing track, but it’s wedged somewhat awkwardly in the middle of the second side. I suppose we can’t expect quite as much from a gonzo underground mail-order cassette release, though. At any rate, while “Radiance” and “New Mexico” are absolutely about atom bombs, they remain very emotionally intimate--almost torturously so. A lot of the other tracks are less about the bomb itself, and more about the rise of “Big Science” in the Midcentury consciousness in the wake of the Second World War--chiefly, “Men In White Coats.”

Music: “Men In White Coats”

As in “The Devil’s Dancers,” Oppenheimer happily accepts the role of an evil or insidious narrator here, and sells us this megalomaniacal perspective with aplomb. A lot of early 80s synth, minimal wave and otherwise, is characterized by more deadpan vocalists, but I can’t stress enough how much Oppenheimer’s piercing lead vocals bring to this album. It’s perhaps the most critical on the tracks that delve into more traditionally emotional topics--chiefly, the standard romantic love numbers. Take, for instance, the harrowing, neurotic “Scorpions”:

Music: “Scorpions”

I’m certainly a fan of the title “New Mexico,” which just ties together all the right connotations. First and foremost, New Mexico is a place--a place you can visit. And this is one of those albums that really wants to ground you in a narrow and specific sense of place, a sonic landscape. New Mexico is mostly empty desert, large tracts of which have been government land even before it started being used more intensively for military research in the 20th Century...most famously, of course, on nuclear weapons. I like to think that the name also suggests novelty and recency of place. We are, after all, entering a “new” world, defined by the advances of science, and the upending of earlier ideas about the world.

The representation of the album art for New Mexico that I’ve been showing you is actually the imagery of the 2010 reissue of the album, which I’ve chosen because I think it’s a bit better known, and I simply prefer it, personally. The most striking thing about it is this colour--a ghostly green, that instantly evokes the common imagery of atomic phenomena. Radiation doesn’t really glow green, of course, but, like everything else about the album, it’s clear that this choice is meant to be a reflection upon the greater cultural imaginings and social impact of the Atomic Age, so I think it’s a perfect fit. At the center of the composition, we see a figure, head bowed and face shaded to provide some sense of anonymity, reaching a hand towards the side of his face in a gesture that’s almost reminiscent of using a cell phone at first glance. What exactly he’s up to is as unclear as his identity. Between the modernist styling of the architecture to his left, and his antiquated attire, the image is quite suggestive of a Midcentury setting. But the real narrative angle here comes from the right side--several figures are approaching that central character, possibly in hostile pursuit. Espionage gone wrong? A desperate attempt to silence a whistle-blower? Much like the music, there’s an ambiguous, mysterious, but also menacing ambiance to this cover.

For historicity’s sake, I’ll also discuss the original cover of the homemade cassettes of New Mexico. As we might expect from the nature of this release, it’s a fairly simple graphic, featuring a nude woman whose full-figured body type, popular on pin-up models, and short hairstyle convey that Midcentury aesthetic almost as well as her clothed counterpart on the reissue. Our eyes are naturally drawn to her exposed breasts, where they meet a pair of radiation warning signs censoring her nipples. A simple image, but a deeply perverse or twisted one. Is it a kind of union between the vulgar, crass profanity of pornography, and the depravity of atomic weapons? Is it a visual representation of the way Oppenheimer Analysis have beautified the nuclear landscape, conflating man’s inhumanity to man with something voluptuous or pleasurable? This cover is at least as complex a symbol for the album as the reissue one is. And while it’s easy to dismiss it as lowbrow, I think it’s worth noting how the salacious or saucy aspect of it would have helped it fit in with other underground cassettes of its era, many of which had lurid or provocative imagery.

Of course, this discussion of the differing incarnations of the album is a natural segue to addressing the release history of New Mexico. The story of Oppenheimer Analysis is deeply entwined with that of New York-based Minimal Wave Records, founded in 2005 by Veronica Vasicka, a radio DJ fascinated by underground electronic music. The label specializes in making obscure, self-published works like New Mexico widely available in digital form, so that more music enthusiasts can get a chance to hear them. Without her, I myself might never have heard this album, and certainly wouldn’t be in a position to make a review like this! Vasicka felt strongly about the artistry of Oppenheimer Analysis, and gave the honour of her label’s first-ever release, “MW001,” to a self-titled EP compiling several of the tracks from New Mexico. Later, in 2010, when she was able to rerelease New Mexico in its entirety, she gave it the honourary designation of “MW001D.”

Vasicka is the one responsible for coining the term “minimal wave” to describe the subgenre she was interested in, and, fifteen years later, I think it’s safe to say it’s had some staying power. While it may be a bit vague and subject to individual interpretation, that’s a problem all genre labels contend with, and I think fans of minimal wave ought to be proud that this term was at least coined by a passionate and dedicated fan, who made her favourite music more accessible to everyone, as a labour of love. It’s also not the only genre term to come about much, much later than the music it seeks to describe. At any rate, New Mexico will always have a place in the minimal wave hall of fame, and it’s a genre-defining work, if in hindsight. The stylistic hallmarks of New Mexico are, for better or for worse, now also those of a whole movement: harsh, tinny rhythm machines, strident synth lines, anxious, unmannered vocals, and technological themes.

But what actually happened to Andy Oppenheimer and Martin Lloyd? In light of the renewed interest in their work in the 00s, they actually got back together for a bit, releasing some archival material from the 1980s and laying down a handful of new tracks, very similar in style to those on New Mexico. Lloyd passed away suddenly in 2013, but Oppenheimer has remained interested in keeping their ideas alive. He’s been performing live as well as putting out new music, first as “Touching the Void,” alongside Mark Warner of Sudeten Creche, and more recently as “Oppenheimer Mk II,” with Mahk Rumbae of Konstruktivists.

Music: “You Won’t Disarm Me”

Something that I think really stands out about New Mexico, especially when compared to a lot of other small-time minimal wave releases, is that it’s a very consistent quality throughout. As you might expect with an underground genre, a lot of the music to choose from is varying degrees of amateurish and clunky, and it’s arguably better to listen to Minimal Wave compilations than the LPs that exist. New Mexico is an exception, though, and doesn’t have any particularly weak tracks. The favourite tracks cited by fans of the album tend to vary pretty widely. My top pick, though, is the album’s opener, “Don’t Be Seen With Me.” It’s a perfect marriage of dizzying, spiraling synth runs, and one of Oppenheimer’s most frenetic vocal performances, that creates a masterful portrayal of being swept up in infatuation with somebody you really shouldn’t be fooling with. That’s all I’ve got--thanks for listening!

Music: “Don’t Be Seen With Me”

[furvillaconfessions]

Rotsy here. There seems to be a lot of hurt feelings going around about this, so I'm going to try to tread carefully, but I'm not going to sugar coat anything either. If you make it all the way to the end of this very long post I have some cool stories to tell you.

I'm not going to pick apart what @/post/634692733521559552/ said just yet, but I would like to address some of the replies, because they felt like a kick in the guts after reading the post of a clearly upset person.

I don’t see it as “gate keeping.” also this spirit is known around in many other cultures not just one. better to respect the ones who asked us to cenceor it over not cencoring it at all. now I got no proof but I see so many people say that they where asked to cencor it there for what I’m doing.

If you don't see it as gatekeeping when a native person asks (begs even) someone to stop talking for them, then you're part of the problem. How do you know they aren't part of the cultures these stories are coming from? We don't. All I ask is that you try to understand where this person is coming from before just outright rejecting what they are saying.

You cant say “literally no indigenous person” like youre getting mad at people speaking for all of us and then you speak for all of us lol. If youre truly to the point of wanting to VOMIT from seeing a censored word, i think you need to take a break from this blog and probably the internet. Nobody is treating us like primitive babies. Theyre respecting our culture when we ask them to.

Atilla, you know I love you, but you should respect the culture of op too, and have a talk with them instead of assuming their disgust is simply because of text on a screen. By saying they need to get off of the internet you're not affording them with the space to share their hurt feelings- which could be the only place they have to share those feelings for all we know. It was wrong to say 'literally no one,' but I believe that came from a place of pain and not malice. This person is clearly hurt and feeling like people aren't listening to their feelings on the subject- which is what many of us feel all the time. (Assuming you are also native because you said 'us' and 'our.' Correct me if I'm wrong.) There's a bigger problem here that's been brewing for a while, and I'd like to band with you to work on this instead of fighting with you, so if you want to pm me, please do.

Now some context:

A massive reason why (was it the only reason? I can't say) the word wendigo/windigo/wintiko/whetiko started getting censored is because individuals on twitter were making posts about how the wendigo is greatly misunderstood and misrepresented (even appropriated) in white dominated culture. These individuals were tired of being harassed by people who refused to give their culture respect (or blatantly insulting them) so they started censoring the word in order to prevent their posts from appearing in the search. The same thing happened on tumblr. A lot of native people are bullied and harassed into silence when we try to speak up about things so we use code words and censoring to stay safe on the internet. This is the reason why we started censoring conversations around the entity- and also the big reason why I abandoned my original tumblr.

The wendigo is complicated. It is not a demon or a boogyman, and it's not part of a religion. Our stories (the choctaw word literally translates to stories, so I don't mean to be disrespectful) are not a religion in the same sense a christian or a muslim has a religion. Religion in the way people are talking about it doesn't exist in native american culture unless, like previously said on this blog, they are christian. It's more complicated than that. Hinduism might be a closer relative in terms of cultural and religious structure, but I'm not hindi so I can't really say for sure. On top of that, various groups have their own interpretation of the entity. Stories of the wendigo are like your grandmother's christmas dressing recipe. Everyone's family has one and they all guard it zealously. Even within the same nations, it can be regarded as a spirit that possesses people who become greedy, or simply an allegory for sexual and/or physical assault from white people. It's not a monster in the same way white european culture has come to understand the monster analogy. This misunderstanding itself is appropriation in the most basic definition of cultural appropriation. This is before we even get into the discussion of how it should be depicted. It's not simply a monster or evil spirit or physiological disorder. The wendigo is so much more than that.

I don't pretend to understand any of the algonquin languages, so the translation is both literally and figuratively lost on me, but this is the best way I can explain it from a dear canadian friend: The creature is greed. Be that just greed or lust or hunger or colonialism, it doesn't really matter. It doesn't even have to be a creature for someone to be consumed by it. Even just what it represents is dangerous and goes against the very nature of our virtues all across the nations.

I posted a very long post here once before, but I can't find it in the search so I don't know if it even exists any more. Basically what I had said in that post is that this whole situation, on all sides, is causing more damage than good. The longer we keep winding in long circles around this topic, and the more people try to sink their teeth in to control the narrative, the more power the wendigo has over us all- literally or metaphorically is up to you. Don't yell at people when they are upset, don't harass people who use the word as a screen name, don't try to speak for everyone, and most importantly, don't disregard an native person's feelings on the subject, even if you disagree with them. We all have to vent, and some people are getting to their breaking point.

If you find someone misrepresenting or appropriating any part of your culture, the best thing to do is to talk to them about it. I know they don't exactly afford us with the same respect, but clearly yelling at people and harassing them is just making them dig in their heels.

If you made it this far, thanks for listening. Here's the cool stories I promised:

As a choctaw person, I have a proposition for people who genuinely like the deer-man monster concept. There's a creature in choctaw stories called kashehotapolo. It's a contraction (sort of) between kashesho (pronounced kah-she-sho) meaning woman, and tapalo (pronounced tah-pah-lo) meaning scream. Together it's pronounced like kah-she-ho-ta-pah-lo. These are deer-human hybrid creatures who live in forests and swamps and scream (like a woman) when hunting (I picture it as sounding like a cougar scream). They have been described having deer legs, the body of a man, and either a wrinkled human face or a deer face, sometimes with antlers. Kasheotapolo are more like tricksters who like to stalk people just for the fun of it, and go out of their way to be creepy. Sometimes they are straight up violent and want to eat people, but most of the time they just like to creep people out. Another one is the deer-legged lady. In choctaw culture it's called the issikashesho (is-see-kah-she-sho) or just deer-legged lady/woman. The cherokee call them anukite (ah-noo-ki-tee; which I think means something like two-faced). These are shapeshifters who turn into beautiful women, old women, deer, deer-legged women, and anthro deer women. They hate rapists and cheaters, and will stomp rapists to death with their deer hooves. There's even a story that adults used to tell their boys at powwow's, that if they saw a drunk girl, don't take her off in the woods to take advantage of her because she could be a deer-legged lady and might stomp you to death. In more recent stories, there are deer-legged people, because women and non-binary people can rape and be raped too. Badass, huh? My proposition is to research these two creatures and start using them for your characters, stories, and usernames instead. They aren't as sacred to us as the wendigo is to the algonquin people, and they are exactly what people misrepresent the wendigo as looking like. I just think it's time to put this beast to rest.

I love you all. Be excellent to each other.

[beauty-grace-outer-space]

Ok... update. 

My dad came home Thursday night, on Christmas Eve, be wouldn’t look at or talk to us. He accidentally entered a room we were in (not knowing we were in there) and immediately just turned around and walked back out. That night, while my mom was still up and about getting ready for bed, he turned off all the lights. My mom got the dog and came to sleep in my room with me. 

The next morning, he still wasn’t talking to us. We ended up each in a different room, doing nothing. I waited until about 1PM and then thought, “You know what, if he’s just going to pout downstairs all day, mom and I are going to have Christmas” and I moved all of my mine and my mom’s gifts into my room (where I have a tree). I made cookies, and set up a little snacks platter. I turned on Christmas lights and Christmas music. I put the Yule Log burning up on my tv, and I told my mom to come with me. 

When she saw it all, she teared up and said, “I just don’t know what the right thing is to do.” 

At this point, my dad decided he wanted to talk. We went out to the living room and he proceeded to tell us that we “really hurt him” by not “checking on where he was the last two days” and “now taking away Christmas” when “he didn’t do anything wrong” and that he “wanted us to apologize and acknowledge that we could have stopped that at any time if we had just stopped when he told us to” and that while all of the destruction to the house was “childish behavior”, it’s really our fault for “pushing him to that point.” 

And I immediately said, “Well, that’s not going to happen, so.” 

At this point, it devolved into an argument of him saying the same thing over and over again and me saying, “You can say whatever you want, but you storming through the house breaking shit is in no way my fault.” 

He tried a lot of different tactics, “This is just what men do” to which I replied that I didn’t know anyone else who’s dad got angry, threw a glass at them, punched a hole in the wall, knocked the closet doors off the hinges, bailed for two days, and then had the gall to come back and demand an apology. 

He reiterated that it was my fault it happened and, “what did I expect when I push him to that point and then don’t stop when he asks me to?” I told him it wouldn’t have mattered what I did, because we always wind up back at this point anyway, but I am not responsible for his behavior. When he tried to push it I said, “How many times have you reduced me to screaming and tears and I have never once broken anything in response.” 

He tried to get my mom on his side, telling her he was hurt that she didn’t even try to stop me from pushing him like that, and I told him to leave her out of it because a: she didn’t say a word, I was the one “pushing him” and b: that’s part of the problem, that he doesn’t view me as an adult. I repeated that I’m 28 years old and no one gets to tell me when I’m allowed to speak, how I’m allowed to speak, etc. I can say what I want when I want, and while that sometimes may have consequences, it doesn’t justify domestic abuse. 

At that point he scoffed and started in with the usual, that I’m just a liberal idiot and I’ve got these misinformed ideas about everything and that wasn’t abuse, you should see what other men do to their families. I just cut him off and sarcastically said, “Oh so that makes it ok. You didn’t hit me, you just threw a glass at me, ok then.” 

Then he tells me that he didn’t throw it at me, if he had thrown it at me, it would have hit me. I said, (again sarcastically) “Oh good, very reassuring.”

I told him that there is nothing he can say that will make me believe that what happened was my fault, and that he needs to know that he crossed a line, because what happened was inexcusable bullshit and I will never forgive it. 

This continued for a while, he tried to pretend that he’s kept a lock on his temper for 30 years and that I somehow just hit the trigger point and it’s my fault. I told him that he does this shit all the time. He asked for examples. I gave him some. He told me they never happened and that I was just making things up in my theatrical brain again. 

My mom stepped in and said that no, he really does do this stuff all the time (to lesser degrees).

He somehow decided to talk about the Black Lives Matter poster I have up in my window and how embarrassing it is for him, and how his friends have all told him they would have kicked me out of the house but he won’t censor me like that, etc. and I told him that he still does, all the time. Because we’re either only allowed to agree with him, or to sit in silence, but never to say what we think. If we say nothing, he gets mad. If we say what we think, he gets mad. We’re not allowed to speak, and that is censorship.

And then he pulled out the cliche, tried and true: “In my own fucking house, that I fucking pay for, I get to say what I think, and if you don’t like it, you can go out there and think whatever you want.” 

And I said, “I am, I have an interview tomorrow for an apartment.” 

After a lot of this, he said we should just stop because clearly we’re never going to get anywhere, and I told him that he’s been saying that for years and look where we are, so what’s the alternative. 

After like two hours of this back and forth, I got him to agree to anger management because my mom chimed in and said that, yes, he’s always angry about something and it’s miserable, and that she and I basically walk on eggshells about everything from shows we watch to conversations being had to decorating the house to music we listen to, the list goes on and on. 

He told me not to “put myself in a financially stressful situation” by moving out when he’s going to work on his issues and “I can’t afford it”. I told him that I can afford it and while I can appreciate that he’s willing to work on, not to do it for me to do it for my mom and their marriage, because I’m done. I ended up sobbing and basically just blubbered out that I’m done, I’m exhausted, and I feel like as long as I’m here the tension is going to be here because he and I are such fundamentally different people. He tried a few comments about “when you make a real budget you’ll see--” etc. but I’ve done the math, I’ve looked at it with my mom, my mom is 100% on board with whatever I want to do and willing to cosign things if needed (though I doubt it) and I’m slowly making my peace with it. And I told them to look into marriage counseling.

I’ve got an interview tonight for one apartment that I love, and another person looking for a roommate replied to me this morning, so I’ve got a few options. Hopefully I get the first one, because it’s less than 5 minutes away and my mom already said she’s happy to meet up with me daily if needed (which sounds insane but honestly my mom is my favorite person in the world and my best friend). I sat her down and told her to be really honest with me and to tell me what she needed to happen because I’d bail on getting an apartment and get a place with her in a heartbeat. She said she’s ok, and actually super shocked and impressed that my dad agreed to anger management, and apparently he pulled her aside later and asked if they needed to look into marriage counseling and asked her to let him know if they did because he’ll do it. 

We ended up opening Christmas presents around 5PM, and eating spaghetti for dinner, and then I hit a point of such total exhaustion that I physically could not stop crying. from like 7-10 I was just bawling. I asked my mom to come sit with me and watch a show so I could try to calm down and go to sleep, and I drank some water and took a sleep aid. 

And now it is morning, and the tension in the house has noticeably decreased, and I’m am still so tired I can barely function. But I’m probably moving within the next few weeks, and I’m trying to be excited about that. 

[qianoir]

After Midnight 3 - Stars

𝐏𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: college dropout!Ten (WayV) x fem!reader

𝐆𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: non-idol au, angst with fluff on top

𝐑𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠: 13+

𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: cursing (censored), lying, family problems, mentions death of reader's father, romance

♡ 𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐂𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 1.9K

𝐓𝐚𝐠 𝐋𝐢𝐬𝐭: @staysstrays

Preview < 1 < 2 < 3

Your head was pounding from your ears drinking in the tantrum of a 3 year old boy, the cries diving straight into your ringing eardrums. A young couple showed up with their child who started offing himself about your café not having some made up hybrid cake he wanted for the last 10 minutes.

The boy started flailing around and knocked his mother's iced Americano out of her hand in the process, landing the freezing and pungent liquid all over you.

The LED clock above you flickered with a new hour, freeing you from the café’s dark roasted chains. You ripped the soaked apron over your head and stuffed it into the back room’s washing machine before taking hold of your belongings and rushing out of the building after saying a quick “good-bye” to your mother- who was not about to deal with the coddled boy and you leaving all at once, so she kicked the spoiled family out, them following your irritated trail on the way through the doors.

You were walking fast to have a little costume change before meeting up with Ten and his friends, 5 o’clock coming within the next 20 minutes.

Y/N

Heyyo I had a little accident at work so I'm going to stop by my place to clean up before heading over to yours.

Once you were in your own space, you peeled the rest of the coffee soaked clothing off of your body, sticking the wet collection into the washer to cold soak after dressing up nicely.

TEN

d.amn it y/n you are too old to be soiling yourself

???

Y/N

That’s not what I meant!

TEN

Whatever ;p

Stepping out into the bright evening air, you realized you don't even know where the hell to go. The napkin with the address was in the pocket of your apron washing back at the café.

You recognized the street that leads to Décalcomanie, the street that leads to Myeongdong, and one leading to a duck shop.

Admitting defeat, you texted Ten.

Y/N

hey so I left the napkin with your address in my apron.. which I don't have would you mind sending it to me?

TEN

such a handful~

You followed the GPS to his address. His apartment building was on the other side of your school you usually metro to, so it was a pretty tiring walk. Arriving fashionably late, you knocked on door number 117.

There was a lot of commotion and screaming, as you were previously informed. Finally, Ten opened the door and waved for you to come in.

Taking your shoes off at the entrance, you saw three guys tackling each other, two others playing video games, and one really fine looking man behind an island in the kitchen.

"Hello!!" One of the guys being tackled shouted and waved at you which got him punched in the back by the guy orchestrating the tackling. You hesitantly waved back "Hi Y/N!!" The boy in the kitchen said with a charming smile.

"Lovely place." You said to Ten with a giggle as he closed the door with an annoyed look on his face. "Y/N, these are my friends,"

He took you over to the couch where the two players were. "This is Sicheng and Xuxi," The two boys playing Mario Kart threw a glance your way and waved with a smile. "these fools are Hendery, Xiaojun, and Yangyang.."

Hendery strained to wave again under the two boys with a big smile on his face, as did the two others. Ten swayed you into the kitchen and introduced you to the last man. This guy was so handsome, like the Asian bachelor. "I'm Kun." The man greeted, kindly.

"It's nice to finally meet you, Y/N. Our Ten always talks about you." Yangyang says walking towards you two. Ten sent him a glare. "Is that so?"

"At least I'm not blind from having my head up my ass all day, Yangyang shut up!" His voice cracked, making you and Yangyang erupt in laughter.

"Anyways, if you'll excuse us- I invited Y/N here for us to be alone." He took your wrist in his grasp and led you to a room.

Ten pet a space on the bed for you to sit down while he leaned over his desk, searching on his laptop. A slow beat filled the room. You recognized this song- the song your dad would play for your mom in the car on long road trips: Something by The Beatles.

Something in the way she moves

attracts me like no other lover

Something in her style that shows me

I don’t want to leave her now

you know I believe and how.

Your parents were so in love. When your father first heard this song, he had made it their special theme to portray their love. They had both become big fans of The Beatles and always had this song pop up at least once in every holiday or event playlist or could be caught quoting it occasionally when the timing was right. Your heart sank in your chest at the memory.

You hadn't realized that the song had ended or that Ten was at your side watching you intently. You looked up at him and he offered a small smile.

"My parents used to listen to this song all the time."

"Really? Are you guys close?"

Your mouth felt sour hearing the inevitable question. “My dad died from pneumonia when I was younger. My mom tries to be present for me, but I know she misses him.” Tears puddled at your waterline as you forced yourself not to cry. “Sometimes I think she only keeps trying because she thinks I’m studying premed when I really hide pointe shoes in my closet. I don’t have the heart to tell her what I’m really majoring in.. because I’m terrified of us losing each other completely and frankly, she would never forgive me of my dishonesty if she would stay.”

"It's not wrong.. following your passion" Ten announced after a whole note of silence, "I'm sorry for making you bring up such a past, but I’m happy I can at least sympathize with you..” He looked away from you to recall his memories clearly.

“My parents didn't agree with me wanting to study dance either. And they certainly did not agree with me leaving my hometown in Thailand and dropping out of college to come here for the best art opportunities. Mine and the rest of the guys outside; all of us are a little more distant from our family than usual just because we are passionate." Ten confessed.

"I'm sorry." You weakly rasped.

"I'm not." Ten smiled at you.

"My friends and I are doing what we love without anyone holding us back and one day it's going to all pay off.. I know it will.. If it wouldn't I would have never dropped out."

You could understand where he was coming from. He is really passionate and faithful to his dreams, it is a little inspiring.

"And you seem to be doing good on your own, too. You're studying dance, which I'm sure you're amazing at, and working at the café to help your mom, letting people make a mess of you that you always undoubtedly pick yourself up from." You laughed, the sad tears rolling down your cheeks and turning to bittersweet tears of joy.

"Thank you, Ten."

"Anytime, Y/N." He handed you a napkin for your eyes.

A cough was heard outside the closed door, along with faint whispers.

"Lucas, shut the HELL up!"

Ten got up and opened the door, making four boys come tumbling inside the room.

All rushing to get up, Lucas stayed laying on the floor, "Uh, hi guys." he offered a charming smile. "We were just coming to tell you that dinner is ready?" Yangyang shrugged obviously.

Ten snickered.

"Nice try, guys-"

"Dinner is ready!" Kun yelled from the kitchen.

"What did I tell you?" Yangyang stuck out his tongue, cockily. Ten rolled his eyes and looked over at you,

"Would you like to stay for dinner?"

"Uhm-"

"She is staying, I already made her a plate!" Kun yelled once again from the kitchen. The other boys ran out of the doorway to the kitchen.

"I guess it's settled then..." Ten sighed and reached his hand out to you, which you took. You were led into the dining room where the other boys sat. Ten placed you in a chair next to his and Kun’s.

Kun had made zhajiangmian, a Chinese traditional celebration/comfort food aka Chinese spaghetti. It tasted so much better than the bread pastries and milk teas you had been living off of in the past year.

Everyone was very talkative during dinner, you even found out that Ten choreographs his own dances for himself and the others to perform and learned that Kun has a degree in music from a prestigious university in Beijing. The boys you had dinner with were really fun to be around and gave you lots of energy after the intricate start to the new semester.

You didn't realize how lonely your little apartment was until now, even when sharing it with your mother most nights. They made you feel so comfortable and content after lacking companionship since your high school days. Also the food was really good, thanks to Kun.

Everybody finished their food but still continued the little chat at the dinner table "And this one time, Ten ate butter thinking it was ice cream! Who does that!?" Yangyang finished off his story punching the table with laughter.

You glanced at the time on your phone. It was almost 10 o'clock and you had to get to sleep early for your new 8 AM class.

Ten turned to you when he felt short tugs at his hoodie. "Cinderella has to get home?"

The room got quiet with Ten’s words, but quickly exploded in a swarm of whines and begs for you to stay. You gave them an apologetic smile.

Ten stood up, pulling me with him, "I'll walk you home." He was already at the door, kicking on his shoes. Everyone bid you good-bye as you waved to all of them before you and Ten were out the door.

"It's this way." You motioned in the direction of your apartments. Ten nodded and followed your path. It was silent the whole way, but it was a nice silence. It was peaceful with just you two. Arriving soon, you  stopped in front of the entrance and turned around to look at Ten.

"Thank you for having me over, I really enjoyed it. Your friends are really nice."

"Of course. I’m really glad you came. I like spending time with you and I think my friends do as well."

Smiles were exchanged and hearts skipped, both of your breathing patterns were evident in each other’s dialogue. "Do you have any last lyrics before we end the night?"

Your building never shines like the others in its distance. The only light around you is the one that blooms in space and allows the stars to twinkle down to where you stand. Ten took your chin is his hand and created perfect eye contact:

"Look at the stars. Look how they shine for you. And all the things that you do.”

He tossed your chin up before walking off into the night.

To Be Continued…

Something by The Beatles

Yellow by Coldplay

𝘲𝘪𝘢𝘯𝘰𝘪𝘳