#i’m sure theres still old copies at my moms

[farty-city]

inside bo burnham review no one asked for

i enjoy other peoples commentary and i was writing down my first thoughts anyway so here it is

inside

first song/intro song

i like the phone screen on him, very reflective of how we have had phone screens on us

“roberts been a little depressed” osnskjdnfs

they were right “daddys made you some content so open wide” hjbfafn

intro

oh my god he looks awful

but like in a cute way

maybe

healing the world with comedy (second song)

the canned and queued laugher no exactly… is it a symbol or is it just funny.. who's to say. 

it think its a good first song, establishing he knows what he is doing is kind of useless 

“the indescribable power of your comedy”

he looks like marc maron rn

i like the synthed voice and synthesizer

the jesus allusion … yeah

“i'm a special kind of white guy”

this feels like he knows how he is perceived by fans.. Make happy was too much

his fucking dancing fksjdnfksj

i think he did a good job looking manic

the lasers lmao

Side 1

Bo made a huge gamble releasing this like,,, what if you just stumbled upon it and this was ur first introduction to him..

I bet its like when i comment dumb things on instagram comments and get that rush of hehehehe

NO NOT BO DEVELOPING BILLIE EILLISH VOWELS

Also this is exactly what he wanted like,, he just wanted to make his things and not deal with the crowds so..

To think i was like finding scraps of him performing at largo and stuff and now,, so much content

life imitates art

the way he's literally what he wrote hgbkdf

there is no authenticity with cameras

suicide ?

 facetime with my mom tonight

the blue light.. Yeah

o hblue like sad

i don't know how i feel about the electric music but i guess its no different than whatever else i listen to

this is sad wow

still catchy etc

side 2

i wonder if here will be any fart jokes

that is how the world works (songs)

the huge mess and then him in a sweater

this is reminiscent of that walmart muppets

he became tim minchin with a sock puppet

the “yes… yes sir” stoppp 

jkgdsnfijwkensfosnf

qbejfnjne

nerjgnoejns

bo making a political statement and a metaphor for activism and then making it weirdly kinky

brand consultant (bit)

man bun

i have to believe he filmed it with the beard because quarantine vibes and also bc he was tired of being seen as a child

white womans instagram (song)

i did not like that intro

BO AND GLASSES THANK GOD

the daisies wow just wow

underwear

“white womans instagram” or “bo burnham becomes a girlboss”

i like that he didn't lose his cadence like the way the rhymes are you can still tell its him

i don't get the mom part sorry

is it like how people are very superficial but also very personal on their instagrams

this part was legit sad

side 3

i wonder how he felt with cameras constantly on him

Although this is the point hes trying to make

lol seinfeld moment (bit)

unpaid intern (bit and song)

“barely people somehow legal” was so smooth woW

omg he was scatting

he was a man who would scat

oh my god what great news

the react clip omg

i cant believe he did that oh my god

observation/critisism and response to the “can anyone shut the fuck up” 

and as i realized what he was doing he was like “i have this need for everything i make to have a deeper meaning” oh my god

now the question is how long will this go on?

jeffrey bezos (song)

idk its catchy

and then theres him like sleeping and talking which kind of is part of the jeff bezos song

bug eyes salamanders hehe

sexting (song)

i do believe this is just a silly song 

the earrings tho omg

sounds like post malone hbkjdsnfskj

idk its still about like intimacy in quarantine and that stuff..

the knife (bit)

i know hes copying like other youtubers but like,,, what

stuck in a room (song)

the intro is very funny and relatable

classic bo i love it 

i will say this special has been more reflective but i suppose it has to be

“look whos inside again”

i like the end too, this is all a fabrication

this is the clip where hes staring at the projection of himself from his old youtube videos which is sort of more like an ending to the “stuck in my room” song

 sorry (song)

i love the 80’s style music and its like zumba

oh this is like an apology song

“father please forgive me for i did not realise what i did, or that id live to regret it” what a catchy line

i would say this is another more “classic” bo song where its self aware and funny

“my closet it chalk full of stuff that is vaguely shitty” 

camera falling

this deserves its own bullet because its silly

i'm turning 30 (bit and song)

i remember him talking about this on a podcast and like,, damn i didn't know this also happened LOL

i really like how he did the lighting 

“stupid fucking ugly boring children”

suicide talk (1)

this is interesting i like the use of the projection

this is something that could never have happened onstage

just like with the it being projected on him

i guess it could but it would have to be done differently and probably hed have to make it funnier to make it more engaging

intermission

i just checked this is about the halfway point.. Mh

i don't wanna know (song)

“i thought it’d be over by now”

i wish this was longer but i kind of like how its just a little snippet and then the cut

video game (bit)

“i guess i’ll cry again”

“is the dude big or is the room small” lol

hm depression

 feelin like shit (song)

ohh the lighting is fun again

this is the tone shift i suppose

the feels like supalonely and the new kind of music

atl

:(

panic attack 

everything all of the time (song)

feels like brandon rogers 

i enjoy this

this feels like “welcome to youtube” grew up

“a little bit of everything all of the time”

“apathys a tragedy and boredoms a crime”

ok olivia rodrigo

finishing the special (bit)

these feel like diary entries but as standup

interesting choice

jeffery bezos (2)

Why the seaweed suit

Where did he get that

the digital space (bit)

suit up, gather what is needed, and return to the surface

damn

pirate map anfdkjfnskjd

this was so stupid (affectonate)

that funny feeling (song)

the campfire vibes 

kenny loggins

i don't get it..

is it about childhood, is it about the present?

i think its talking about the end of content? 

“the end of culture”, to quote make happy

change and not liking it 

“we were overdue, but it will be over soon”

if the second half of the special is like a panic attack this song is like a momentary pause before it gets worse

“so ive been working on this special”/breakdown 

this was .. uncomfortable and genuine which i'm sure is why he kept it

all eyes on me (song/rant)

another sad thing to watch.. damn

me trying to tell if the audio was from make happy

i think he was trying to make it as if the audio was from make happy 

this feels.. familiar

and obviously that is the point

“come on in the waters fine”

the use of autotune during the talking part... yeah

sad that he was gonna make another special… and it would have been totally different than this

i’ve decided i like the homage to make happy

It feels like hes made peace with it

the montage of him waking up and the “i think i'm done”

and then of course the ending where he's watching it over to remind us that its all fabricated

possible ending song/ “i promise to never go outside again”

ngl he looks good in the shirt with the haircut hehe

which i feel like is what he wants up to notice

and then like not think after we saw all his breakdowns

“i want to hear you tell a joke when no ones laughing in the background”

i really like the medley

Final thoughts

I want a blooper reel, but this doesn't seem like the kind of special

I also wonder if the songs will be on like apple music, but again, doesn't seem like the kind of special

I'm happy for him, he got to be honest and open and show us the sort of panicky stuff

this self aware comedy is exactly the stuff that i think will be making a comeback in the next decade.  John better be pulling up with more deconstructed comedy. 

I hope this has given him peace

[sanchoyo]

danny phantom season 2, ep 12-16 thoughts! these episodes, in comparison to the first 10 or so, felt way more laid back and low-stakes, which I appreciate sometimes. I didn't appreciate how lazy jack's halfa design was in masters of time, it made me so annoyed I redesigned it. 👎🏻 u_u

see prev episode thoughts in this tag <3

-'picking a fight with me and my upgraded form!' 'you upgraded to a mullet?' DANNNNY. YOU CANT SAY THAT TO TECHNUS. YOUVE HAD A MULLET TWICE NOW ('fun' split danny, and evil future danny BOTH HAD THEM). I HAVE THE RECEIPTS.

-danny seeing technus hurting valerie and yelling I AM GOING TO BREAK YOU IN HALF. SAMEEEE <3

-axion labs is now a part of vladco. FUCK YOU VLAD. hes not even really IN this episode, but just thought I'd throw out a nice fuck you anyway.

-'capable of blasting a single person into space in (2) minutes!' tucker. that would kill someone. i mean yeah they might get to space, but theres NO WAY THEY WOULDNT CATCH FIRE, OR THEIR ORGANS WOULDNT LIQUIFY BECAUSE OF THE STRAIN. THEY'D PROBABLY PASS OUT BEFORE THEN, BUT. ...no, okay, I get why vlad bought this company. this is RIGHT up his alley.

-danny KNOWS VAL DIDNT DO THIS, THAT SOMEONE STOLE THE SUIT. AND SPENDING ALL NIGHT CHATTING WITH HER. <3 and val is a 9TH DEGREE BLACKBELT?? danny's mom is, too!! omg and she hunts ghosts, his parents would love her. and her fav fruit is kumquat bc its a funny word. im so with danny val is amazing. I love her and I Do Not Want To Hear It From Sam.

-I knew danny wanted to be an astronaut, but the bowling tidbit is like. yes give me more useless info abt these characters, I love tiny details that make them feel more human, and im glad hes got hobbies aside from ghost stuff, we dont really see a lot of that!!! (I mean, we knew 'fun' danny from when he split himself in half liked bowling, so obv it makes sense he LIKES it, but hes very GOOD at it. so proud of him, bowling king) val calling him neil armstrong and them teasing each other. LOVE THAT.

-technus you are my favorite grandpa for setting this up. SAM WHY ARE YOU BEING SO CREEPY BE HAPPY FOR YOUR FRIEND!!! STOP SPYING ON THEM!!! who actually cares if technus did 'set them up' together, theyre having fun and enjoy each others company!!! 'you think the universe wants you two to be together?' 'i dunno, but maybe /I/ do!' EXACTLY DANNY!!! SOO TRUE.

-and valerie being happy sam said she wants to try and be happy for them and make room at the lunch table for them. and hugging sam over it. VAL NEEDS MORE FRIENDS.

-VAL GOING AFTER TECHNUS IN HER SUIT WITH (1) MILK, AND (1) TREE BRANCH AND KEYS!!!. I LOVE YOUUUU BEST GIRL. her new suit kicks ass

-dannys like 'HEY IM AN ASTRONAUT :D' AW. ...HES IN SPACE... the fact he's actually intending to give her the ring. with SAMS NAME ON IT?? IM CRINGING DANNY NO. YOU CANT DO THAT...thank god he didnt. thank god valerie cut it off and said they can just stay friends for now. tbh, they both have a lot on their plates!! they obv both still like each other...it can be a future thing!! when she knows about phantom! youre 14 theres no need to rush. I just want her to have friends and be happy :(

-...danny struggles to do (1) pull up. SAME. but all the ghost fighting in phantom form REALLY doesnt carry over at ALL? that sucks

-sam being as fit as she is, is not just a goth. shes a goth jock.

-honey I Shrank Our Kid, One of his Enemies, and his Bully: the episode

-dash's crush on phantom is So Obvious. fitness buddies :) watching them interact always makes me laugh. also, phantom, with PANTS. 'how many costume changes you gonna go through, what is this, vegas??' DASSH DJKSFHASKDF

-MADDIE GOING AFTER THE MOUSE WITH A BROOM, WHAT THE FUCK. AAAH. JUST BUY SOME KIND OF MOUSE TRAP.

-danny likes lime and vinegar chips. which sound very good.

-'our boy finally has the physical prowess of a 60 year old president!' ...poor danny LMAO

-'what's wrong with beauty pageants' oh tucker you sweet naïve child. what ISNT wrong with them. who approved this for a high school?? (I mean, yes. unfortunately child pageants exist, but...) also danny and tucker once again treating the pretty girls like objects. I need to meet the grown man who wrote this, I just want to talk...

-prince aragon's dragon form reminds me of maleficent (color scheme wise) which is always a bonus. considering the episode is called beauty marked, I feel like the sleeping beauty references are deliberate

-sam with the fake fangs. once again her accessories never miss. hate the 'not like other girls, girls who get sucked into this kind of thing are all shallow and all want to be carbon copies' bs tho.

-sam trying to be the Worst Bride, being rude as shit. DORA IS GOING TO GET KILLED. DID YOU MISS THE PART WHERE SHE SAID THE PRINCE WILL HAVE HER HEAD IF YOU ARENT THE IDEAL BRIDE. YOU /KNOW/ DANNY WILL COME SAVE YOU. JUST ACT CHILL UNTIL THEN. even if you were doing fine to get him to take off the crown, consider maybe not letting his poor sister get punished also?? sure, she could also take off the crown and has dragon powers, but did you know that for sure?? dora didnt even really realize it until you guys talked!! (or at least, she was scared to stand up to him. you had no guarantee she would...) but. good for dora. ANOTHER friendly ghost to add to the List :)

-tucker is so under appreciated in his time. if he was doing a tech-based campaign today he'd have a better shot. people in 2004 had NO IDEA how much tech would be a part of our day-to-day lives...altho. tbh if you're going to be running for student council president, maybe you should..focus on things to actually improve the school? since he's going for a tech angle, he could say like, he would be running fundraisers for the schools computers to be upgraded, etc? we've already SEEN he can be good at money-making entrepreneur type stuff!!

-oh my god wait. this episode is JUST YUGIOH?????! A REBORN PHAROH USING A TEENAGER AS A VESSEL?? YESSSSSS

-tucker using his new minion to feed him grapes and carry him. AND LOCUSTS ONTO THE BULLIES. I love how when he's possessed, he gains winged eyeliner.

-this episode is giving me big 'plankton makes everyone in bikini bottom his slaves and build monuments of him from the spongebob movie' vibes. and the pharaoh has a traitor who works for him? VERY big yugioh vibes. aknadin confirmed

-I like that danny is still completely exhausted after using ghostly wail. (still patiently waiting on him to get duplication)

-LOVE the fenton's 80s outfits. I get hes 14 and embarrassed by everything they do because theyre his parents, but. cmon, this is one objectively cool thing theyve done. love 80s fashion.

-...was vlad just standing on that streetlight waiting for danny to come out? how'd he know they'd be coming out the back? how long has he been up there???

-oh, wait, his ecto-acne has flareups? that SUCKS. danny was...well I dont want to say he was LUCKY HE HALF-DIED, but he was lucky his was pretty instant (I'm assuming that had to do with the power/scale of the portals being different?) I remember in the ep we met him, vlad made a point of saying he was stuck in a hospital for a long time, so. that really actually sucks and I feel bad. not that it excuses anything he's done...but like. it does suck.

-vlad being so sure danny wouldnt help him he made it somehow contagious to his friends to make sure he'd get help? danny is a nice boy, he wouldve helped if it was anyone else. the only reason he wouldn't have is because of the shit vlad did to him, on purpose. vlad 100% dug his own grave by being the biggest asshole, so it is very hard to feel bad for him.

-clockwork is back!!! and making danny learn lessons The Hard Way. Uhhh, okay. I kind of get Danny’s logic, that time traveling this far back would prevent vlad from becoming a halfa also, ergo no arch nemesis or ectoacne to worry about. But the fact that was basically the first solution Danny came up with to solve this problem is actually so funny. It’s so extreme

-APPRICIATION FOR THESE 80S LESBIAN BG CHARACTERS.

-vlad telling maddie in the lab (in the 80s) he has something he's wanted to tell her 'for a long time'...how long have they known each other? I assumed they met in college, since jack always calls vlad his college buddy/roommate, so jack and vlad for sure met in college, but did vlad know maddie longer? thats surprising if so. Tho we don’t know what year of college they’re in so they could mean they met as freshmen and a few years have past…speaking of maddie shes crushing the 80s look.

-vlad blames jack, but. maybe dont stick your face 2 inches from the portal??! THIS FEELS LIKE LAB SAFETY BASICS. IF SOMETHING HAS POTENTIAL TO BE DANGEROUS, DONT GET NEAR IT. WITH YOUR FACE UNPROTECTED IN ANY WAY. (altho jack didnt really give a Big Warning besides screaming BONZAI. so. also that, but cmon.) also, they need gloves, goggles, and to pull all of their hair back tbh. but fuck lab safety, I guess!

-cryyyyinnng at how lazy they were with jack's ghost form design, its just plasmius' design on jack!!! you couldve given him his own design!!

-there. I did that in about 10 minutes and its somehow less lazy than what made it into the show. embarrassing! better yet, I think the episode would've been better if maddie would've gotten the ectoacne. or maybe its just me, wanting to see her design! anyway. I'm sure people have already done redesigns of them both as halfas. I have to go look after I finish this watch through. Also mildly frustrated jacks resentment and bitterness is basically also a copy paste of vlads backstory. They’re different characters, I really don’t think jack would stew in bitterness and jealousy the same way vlad would!! I also don’t think he’d give up after one time of trying to hunt ghosts and getting laughed at. Our canon timeline says different…I dunno, I get it was for laughs, but I’m annoyed because the POTENTIAL this plot has…

-did vlad really wear a stupid cheese hat to his wedding. ok actually that kinda rules. and the cheese door knocker. the dairy-only buffet table. vlad still got rich, just on being the New Dairy King. (Assuming that means he owns a lot of dairy businesses?) ok! this actually is great. hope maddie isn't lactose intolerant!

-'no matter how hard I tried, I could never get rid of my ghost half, the half I knew Maddie could never accept' ohh, ouch, what a horrible thing to say to her HALF GHOST SON. 'YOUR MOM WILL NEVER ACCEPT YOU' BASICALLY.

-maddie strapping danny to the table with a lazer pointed at him in a secret lab she keeps from vlad that she makes a point of saying is sound proof so he can scream all he wants...CHRIST. DANNYS POOR PYSCHE.

-also, not to feel bad for alternate vlad (because, he did lie to maddie saying jack blames her and never wants to see her again...) but. being married to a woman 20+ years and she immediately goes back to jack? if she didnt love vlad and feels like she had to hide shit from him, and says she wasted her best years with him, WHY MARRY HIM. it feels like leading him on!!! cannot believe im feeling bad for vlad, but. this alternate timeline vlad is significantly Less Horrible than Our Vlad. did she not think she'd get funding for her ghost stuff? (which, fair assumption since they're considered 'ghost fanatics/nuts in canon...but...) why did she think jack or vlad would be her ONLY OPTIONS? be like your sister. be single. Actually, this au could’ve been really interesting if after the accident, vlad lied to her and said jack never wanted to see her again, but she stays single. Imagine how much that would bug vlad… like, in her mind, it was never a competition it was jack or no one type situation…

-danny being like 'leave him ALONE' this jack is a HOMEWRECKER, DANNY. let them go to court and settle this at the least. ...or just throw vlad into the portal. (100% human, defenseless vlad) CHRIST, MADDIE THATS BRUTAL. THATS MURDER.

-danny seeing his mom immediately accepting him and his dad being half ghosts in this universe, if I was him this would be a great sign that his universe's maddie would also.

-*maddie voice* "clockwork will help!" *2 seconds later, with clockwork* "I will Not Help." TOUGH LOVE KING. YES LET DANNY SEE THE SODA HIMSELF AND DEVOLP BETTER OBSERVATION SKILLS.

-when clockwork ""reset time to the way it was"" just before danny "meddled"" ...did he really erase a whole alternate timeline? ...damn. because maddie and danny both called it an alternate timeline by name, it splitting when the college incident went different, so it wouldnt have really mattered if he reset it, right. like because danny's timeline is on a different stream? why didnt clockwork just. show danny a replay and not Reset That Timeline. wh...I wonder how many people that Erased From Existence. Anyway! once again stating clockwork is casually terrifying!

[botwstoriesandsuch]

P-please talk about your Rito OC, please... ramble without any context, please... I have one too... please make me feel less alone...

Ok ok let me just *unloads all of Illeka’s super angsty self-indulgent backstory*

I technically have two backstories, one for botw that I’m gonna use for my fic Where Time Takes Us, and another I use for my dnd campaign. My dnd one is more fleshed out (thanks to my amazing GM) so I’ll probably just share that one. 

Warning for super duper long post that is barely coherent and I haven’t checked for typos and also rip to ADHD folks because I have no pictures to ease your brain with. Anyhow prepare for like thousands of words worth of rambles this is not edited at all

This is just a copy paste of the random incoherent shit I sent to my poor DM. Anyhow, I technically have 3 ocs here, but Illeka is the one I play

A weird Rito, that one is. I hear they’ve only cried at birth...

- Illeka was born on the Day of Living Fire, its a celebration of the dead essentially, where you mourn and remember your loved ones and ancestors and all that. It’s superstition to be *born* on this day, because your life/creation takes away from the day that’s supposed to honor the dead, and some people on birb island believe these things, that if you let the kid live it’s a curse. But most people are like no wtf you boomers it’s fine there’s no such thing you crazy old people are weird, which to be fair is kinda true.

- When Talako is around 6, his single mom dies. He’s adopted by a new family, Kala (also around 6 years old) and her parents.

- Illeka meets Talako after he kinda follows her around, because he’s an innocent cinnamon bun that admires Illeka’s calm and stoic demeanor after they help him with some bullies. Through this, Talako, Illeka, and Kala all become best friends.

- The events in Illeka’s life aren’t really helping their whole curse case. Every bad event, from their dad getting injured and having the slightest limp, to their brother, Zekk nearly setting himself on fire— it’s all a supposed punishment for not killing them when they were bored. But at this point most people brush it off as coincidence, besides, nothing THAT bad has happened yet.

- the trio of friends grow strong, becoming some of the best in their arts on the island. And their relationship is seemingly adorable. The serious ~~cursed~~ one, the optimistic sunshine one, and the sarcastic firey one. Prides of their village, set to protect their people from harm.

- Illeka is the best in the village when it comes to physical fights. Trusty halberd, and a keen shot with a bow, they’ve never lost a sparring match on that front. Their personality is offputting to some, there’s a rumour that they’ve never cried. The easiest of jokes, and the vilest of insults don’t spark much reaction from them— except in the presence and topic of their family, Kala, and Talako. But otherwise, the story goes that the cursed kid doesn’t have a soul, and hence, no morality or emotions.

- When they train with Talako and Kala, they never back down, if only out of respect, Illeka wouldn’t want to embarrass them with pity. Talako always laughs at his inevitable defeat, though he tries nonetheless. He promises that one day he’ll be strong enough to beat them.

- Talako is a pleasant soul, but has an nack for adventure and a hint of chaos. He prefers to dual wield daggers, and on occasion a short sword or two. He’s great with the blade, loves the thrill of the fight, but is more skilled with cooking and physical healing and remedies. He’s always the one encouraging fun celebratory hang outs at the tavern, with his two closest friends after a day of guarding the village. Kala always sides with him, and Illeka typical gives in after at least putting on a show of reluctance. He humble and happy and loved by most of the village, if only things would last

- Kala is of wit and cunning, she’s typically the first to speak. She’s headstrong and not afraid to insult whoever she displeases, and a bit too arrogant in her abilities. She laughs at all of Talako’s jokes, if perhaps only to spite Illeka’s groans. She’s also the most strategic of her friends, being the “one with a plan” in battle. While she’s a decent wield of two khopesh, Kala’s mostly gifted with magic. She’s got a knack for conjuring, though is well researched in other types as well. Illeka and her are an even match, with decent win ratios on either end. Illeka doesn’t take it that personally, they suck/hate magic after all. Kala’s a bit more competitive tho.. While her power in magic is certainly the best on all of the island, she can’t help but feel salty/jealous for always being overshadowed by Illeka’s feats, since the people prefer/understand the physical over the magic.

- Oh, and she was born on day after the Day of Living Fire, according to her parents. How lucky.

- In a sense, they’re all a bit of an outcast. Kala the fiery independent one, a bit sidecasted for prefering magic over steel. Talako the weird orphan, for being a chirpy, happy boi, which is a bit annoying for some. And Illeka…well lets just say their situation isn’t going to be improving

- One year, Illeka’s family is expecting more kids, twin sisters at that! It’s the most excited anyone’s ever seen Illeka, thought perhaps that’s not the right word… They’ve still got their usual demeanor, but they did spend nearly a week crocheting little baby hats and tunics and scarves. They threatened to kill their brother if they told anyone, although Zekk was allowed to let it slip to Tal and Kala

- [They are absurdly good at crochet btw. They never do it anymore to try and maintain their “reputation,” but their family will never forget the time they crafted matching blankets and hats to win a little competition in their home town.]

- Then the Day of Living Fire arrives for that year. Theres a little celebration for Illeka’s birthday, before moving on to other activities.

- The twins die that night.

- The village was in a bit of shock…and rumours grow considering the timing of it. The mysterious circumstance of it…well it does turn the heads of even some of the less-superstitious. The rumours, the death, the silent thought that perhaps that cursed bird caused some babies’ death, Illeka endured it.

- Years later would it get worse.

- Illeka is still publically respected at this point, weird rumours sure, but try telling that to the edge of her halberd. Their mother had made the twin’s shrine, but they say Illeka didn’t visit that often. Talako was always by their side, trying to help them, which was always appreciated, even when they tried to hide it.

- Kala was busy in the library these days.

- Zekk had started a family by now, a little baby birb named Mili hatched into the world.  Illeka would often steal her away for little cuddles when they (thought) no one was looking. Zekk would jest that they had to fight for the right to hold his own kid. Kala would also occasionally tease them about it, though Tal was mostly happy to see them in better spirits

- Then, another Day of Living Fire.

- Talako and Illeka were usually on guard duty together, the northern patrol by the village edge. But tal was still a bit worried about his friend’s state of mind, he’s not sure he’d even seen them mourn. He pushes for Illeka to take the day off, it’s technically their birthday after all, plus they can pay their respected at the shrines and attend the festivities and do the ceremonies and all that. Illeka denies it, brushing it off like they always do.

- Soon, their nightly patrol begins, and Illeka is about to set off to met up with Talako, but Kala intercepts. She has a talk with them, similar to that of Talako’s, but with…more well crafted and laced words. It’s nearly the same message that Talako tried to tell them, “It’ll be healthy for you, visit the shrines, be with your family, maybe brush off some rumours in the process.” Illeka nearly denies again, joking that Talako would get afraid of the dark if they didn’t show up. But Kala interjects, stating that she’s already made plans to take the patrol that nigth with Tal. Trusting their friends to be safe in each others care, Illeka relents and takes the day off.

- …yeah. so

- perhaps you can see where this is going.

- Kala’s jealousy had been growing over the years. Not only was she being shadowed by Illeka and their non magic ways, but it was irritating even more that all the talk about magic in the town was not of her exceptional abilties, but of stupid rumours and non-existent evil curses. If the people wanted show, she’d give them a show

- This mindset made her spars with Illeka a bit more personal as of late, getting it in her head that she needed to get stronger, strong enough to best Illeka with ease. Strong enough so that there would be no question who was the best warrior on the island, magic, bows, halberds, or no.

- The library had many forgotten books that she had been studying. Conjuring, rituals, illusions, necromancy. It was all…beautiful. Kala soaked in every word, sometimes berating the bookkeeper offhandedly for not keeping them in the best condition

- In her research she eventually found a beast. A..thing, a demon? A monster, the specifics weren’t there, but the gist of it was, if you had the courage to summon it, it would grant you the knowledge for attaining anything you desired. All it asked in return was…to eat some people.

- But not just any people mind you! Supposedly the ritual only worked for the people with the greatest of ambitions, willing to sacrifice the lives of people they might care about. The sacrifices had to be of someone with great trust and bond with the person.

- Kala’s parents disappeared that day, a few feathers laid about, but there was no blood.

- Near the northern border, by a open field, a weird circle dripped the grass red

- Talako waited by the village edge, ready to fly off with their patrol partner when they arrived. When Kala greeted him, he was a bit surprised, but happy when she explained that Illeka had gone off back to town.

- Indeed Illeka was with their family now, as the sun started to set. Occasionally, a passerby would give them a weird glance before walking swiftly away.

- Somewhere in the northern border, a warrior is knocked unconcious, and dragged upon a blood red pattern

- Illeka is by her sisters’ shrine. For the sliver of a moment, they contemplate crying.

- Then an explosion is heard off in the distance

- Talako was wide awake at this point, although his wings being pinned to his sides wasn’t that helpful considering there was a giant, *giant* dark monster in front of him.

- Kala lets off a final remark, saying it was for his own good. The death would be swifter if he didn’t squirm.

- He whipped back at her, glaring with a fire she hasn’t seen before. He calls her a coward for tricking Illeka, a coward for kill their parents, a coward for not even giving him the decency to fight for his life.

- She nearly smiles at the last remark. “Fine.” She tosses him his blades. “You were never much of a warrior anyway.”

- Illeka was flying towards the booming sound at full speed, nearly knocking over their family and other mourning, people in the process. A few others had tried to slow them down, claiming they should suit of better first, before confronting whatever had been the source of the explosion. Illeka didn’t listen.

- They barely had time to grab a weapon, before approaching the northern border. After gracing the crests of the hill tops, they finally saw it. A giant demonic beast, snapping it’s jaws against a flying dash of black feathers, Talako.

- Illeka called out to him, nearly dashing off into the air again, but they stopped when they spotted Kala, standing idlely by next to her.

- Before they could even speak, before they could even question why she was acting so nonchalantly while their best friend was fighting for their life against an evil monstrosity, Kala shook her head and spoke. “You always have to ruin my fun, don’t you?” She struck a magic blow and Illeka, square in the chest.

- It knocked them to the ground, but they got up, setting their halberd and pointing it at them.

- Then insert some dramatic scene where Kala is like “you’re so selfish, hogging all the attention, thinking you’re better than me, but today I’m gonna finally best you mwahaha” and Illeka is like “wtf why did you do this? I thought we were friends? I trusted you?? the fuck? also talako is our friend!!?” and then its “yeah thats right I manipulated your stupid feelings to gain the upperhand. you’re super pathetic honestly for falling for it. anyhow yeah talako will probably die, i tried to give him the luxary of a swift death but he wouldn’t listen, so now he’s probably gonna get brutally slayed lol” and illeka is all “I’ll kill you” and kala is “no u. This whole thing is gonna give me so much power no ones gonna question me again” and then they fight each other

- The duel is nearly a draw, Kala’s magical ability is certainly is certainly stronger, but she’s not as all powerful without that knowledge from the demon monster guy that needs to eat his meal. Illeka is fighting with all theyve got, but all they brought was a halberd, but they are very fueled by rage and spite so it’s still an even match. Illeka eventually lands a blow that’s got Kala bleeding severely, but Kala pretty much almost kills them with a direct attack. Kala’s too weak to finish the job, plus those other guards have finally started to fly and approach in the distance, so she flys off. Illeka finally slips into unconsciousness.

- When they wake up, it’s almost sunrise. Their mom is shaking them awake, part of the party that was investigating the explosion that summoned the beast. Illeka bolts up, they’re still in the field were they had fought Kala, but she and the beast are no where to be seen.

- They run off, trying to find Talako, and ho boy do they find him alright. His body is crumpled by some rocks, his wing nearly ripped clean off, theres so much blood, even a warrior like Illeka can hardly bare it. Some small bit of hope in their head thinks that he might still be alive, and they listen to his chest to see if he’s still breathing.

- His eyes flicker once at Illeka, his chest rises, then falls for the last time.

- Illeka cries.

- Then, still pretty wounded and tired, they collapse again

- The days following are living hell. Kala hasn’t been found, and their her parent’s [bodies]. The rumours are creeping as ever, at the coincidence of Illeka and this disaster. They spend nearly a weak in bed at home, recovering physically, thought probably not mentally.

- As soon as they’ve fully recovered, Illeka’s mind is set. They are going to leave, no more warrior/village protection for them. They’re going to travel far off, train and hone their skills in combat, and find and kill Kala.

- Their family is opposed to this at first, but in the end nothing they say changes Illeka’s mind.

- In a sense, there was another, unspoken reason Illeka was leaving the islands. They didn’t want to hurt anyone else.

- Hell, the rhetoric is even stronger down the line, concerning the fate of poor Mili. Illeka has given in and accepted it, they are cursed to cause pain to the people they care about. [It’s basically that trope of the character isn’t actually cursed but they believe they’re cursed] Illeka will stay away, and go it alone for as long as they can. Then once the deed is done, once they draw Kala’s corpse across the mud, they’ll probably fly off somewhere far to die, before anyone else gets hurt. It’s probably best for their family never to see them again.

- - - - - - 

Wow you did it, you made it through the super angsty self-indulgent backstory congrats. Illeka is my lil baby and I love them and I’ve gonna send them on a revenge quest and then they were gonna have a cool character arc probably about learning to grieve and have self worth and all that and to actually allow themselves to show emotions for once in their lives. That’s the general plan I had in my head anyhow

But you know what my dm thought?

They were like how about mORE ANGSt

Fucking shit you not, session three of the campaign, I’m heading back to birb island because of circumstances, and I’m getting supplies from my blacksmith dad and showing off this sword that says “fuck” a lot that I got from a dungeon that took a selkie’s soul which they gave up willingly in exchange for fire hair...long story

but THEN I meet up with my bro Zekk and it’s like “wassup bro just passing through” but then I find out that Talako’s shrine thing was DESTORYED by some unknown entity and that’s very not good because spirituality and all that

and also I find Mili and they’re a cute lil toddler birb now aww it’s so great hope nothing happens to them because I sure do have enough emotional traume to burden right now. anyhow due to CIRCUMSTANCES our only lead to the thing that destroyed Talako’s shrine is 1) a delinquent named Chesio [that our party nicknamed cherrio because the GM misspelled it the first time i think] who apparently was Talako’s shitty cousin and his only living relative who could build his shrine and 2) the destruction of the shrine lines up with a period of time where Mili went missing but its ok she came back so her parents were like “chill we gucci”

Our party decides we should go down the Mili lead [because I accidentally knocked Cherrio i mean Chesio to near death with a crit roll with my halberd so they’re in the infirmary now but it’s really not my fault that they triggered my emotional trauma by mentioning how I keep running away from grief and never staying around to confront it it’s fiiiiiiiiiiiiine] so we stop by Zekk’s house and we’re like “hey so remember when you disappeared for like a week where did you go, and then mili was like “oh it’s in this cavern that no one knows about and I can’t really give you the directions but I can lead you there if you take me with you” in which I then glare at the GM for this obvious attempt to force us to take Mili with us to put her in danger and apparently I was the ONLY one who cared about this because everyone else in the party was ready to adopt this birb child, and Zekk was like “sure take the kiddy harness” so here I am, watching my niece run around in a kiddy harness that’s also attached to me, while my Chaotic neutral party someone gets grilled cheese sandwiches in the background

Badabing, badaboom, we come to some crystal caverns. while I, being one of the only members of the party with morals other than one chaotic good dragonborn, am watching the selkie, halfoot, and elf girl steal a bunch of crystals, Mili fucking DISAPPEARS the fucking KIDDY HARNESS fucking NOT GOOD she FCUKING SLIPPED OUT AND SHES GONE AND IM FREAKING OUT 

after about an hour or two of searching through the deeper parts of the cavern and tunnel and also fighting a minotaur and discovering an abandoned arena and a cleric, long story. We find Mili fucking laying on A NECROMANCER’S RITUAL CIRCLE WHAT THE FU- 

I pull a “I don’t hesitate bitch” on the hooded dude that’s hovering and chanting shit. He’s dead, it’s all swell. Saved the day, the evil’s dead. Mili’s fine she can go back to being a cute lil baby who loves shiny rocks and-

oh wAIT actually Mili is still transformed into a demonic monster and the necromancer dude was actually in the middle of completing a ritual to bring her back to life after he killed her a few times

So turns out, necromancer dead dude was hired by a mysterious someone, to steal something from Talako’s shrine, and to destroy any evidence. Turns out, his methodology for doing so was to kidnap some birb kid who had the misfortune of wander too close, killing them, turning them into some demonic monster that does their bidding, using that monster to steal and ruin some shit, and then when the day’s done he turns them back like nothing happened. Sure do wish he was alive to redo that last part

I’m freaking out, the party’s freaking out, that sword from earlier is cursing to high heaven for no apparent reason. Cleric unhelpfully remarks how it was a bad idea that we impulsively killed the evil dude bro, yes wow thank you for the help

Eventually everything’s fine. After a few round of shouting “NO ONE TOUCH MY FUCKING NIECE OR YOU DIE” after said demonic niece is kinda mindlessly attacking everyone, we eventually do some good ol blunt force trauma and a bit of magic and BOOM. Mili’s back. Although they do have permanent black ritual markings on them but its fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinee (its not)

We find a note on necromancer dude bro that his employer was from another island, so that’s a lead yay Find Out Next SessionTM but at this point I really don’t care as I’ve already started tying Mili to my chest and walking back to the village

I go back to Zekk’s house, hand off Mili, explain everything that happened, give a super heart feel apology about how I pretty much killed Mili (even though I really didn’t but also as we all know Illeka is an angsty birb who’s steadfast in the idea that their existence hurts everyone they love so yay <3) and then I leave as fast as I can before anyone can protest sure was nice visiting my family after i’ve been away for a few months sure am glad that my inner thoughts about staying away weren’t justified whatsoever hmmmmmm

A session or two passes. We try to assassinate and elf’s evil parents and fail, we get into a Fake Dating Being Someone’s Children Au with a dragon. The selkie keeps trying to date everyone, even thought they’re already married to a necromancer princess and a boat (long story) and inbetween we head to that island that note i got was talking about and turns out it was to a place where all your inner demons and anxieties manifest into reality and taunt you, until youre slowly broken down to the point where the evil dictator on the island can “magic” away your problems with puppet strings. fun for the whole family!

Anyways, after our party fights out evil neon-blue clones, I get a lead from dictator dude that the employer I’m looking for is a Rito that’s good with magic, and was last seen headed east, in the same direction we just came from. fun.a

So I’m kinda low on leads, other than the fact that theres a magic school in the east, but in between we have to deal with the fact that husboat (again, the boat that is married to the selkie who is also our entire party’s form of transportation across the ocean. wait a sec did I mention that we weren’t in Hyrule? We’re not in Hyrule, this is a flooded land with a bunch of islands. Think wind waker) was being chased by pirates. also these pirates were the ones that raised the selkie, and also they kinda also slaughtered an entire island of halffoots in their time with the pirates, and also that island was the one that the halffoot in our party grew up in. So basically that’s some cool tension and drama. Anyhow, back to moi

One talk about how “no we cannot kidnap aNOTHER priest” to the selkie and elf later... magic school! Magic school is pretentious and I hate it. Everythings glowy, they don’t allow you to fly over the gates. There’s puffy noble middle aged men and children in bedazzled cloaks. There’s magic in the air and I swear I would choke and die on the glitter and rainbows of it all. 

Half the party is off getting into cloak fashion, I head off with my dragonborn friend Ness because highfive! We’re the only one’s with morals in this party! Morality pals! (This is saying something considering I am true neutral and she’s chaotic good but we might as well be clerics in this party...)

My morality pal and I and hanging around, then we catch word that there’s this transfer student that no one has seen in a while and “oh I wonder where she could be” and all that jazz from other students. Mortality pals are like “ok let’s go look for her” so we drag the rest of the party off of their larceny spree and look around.

Eventually, after I spot a tattered cloak roaming the halls that matches the description of the gossip, we find the transfer student.

TURNS OUT (unsurprisingly honestly given the way the dm framed stuff) this transfer student is someone I know. She’s standing there, in the middle of the room, preparing to do some ritual or something. She’s standing there, my life purpose, my one and only goal, literally the only reason I’m still going in life, my arch nemesis, my target, my mortal fucking enemy. It’s Kala.

Ness sees a demon dog in the background and says hi, ruining our element of surprise, but to be fair, she doesn’t know it’s Kala. 

Kala whips around from her table thing. We make eye contact. Her face suddenly shift from confusion to surprise to bewilderment to shock to happiness. 

Happiness.

“Illeka I thought you were dead!” Kala runs towards me, but I’m too shocked to move.

She’s smiling. It’s not sadistic, it’s not...harmful, it’s just genuine joy. For a moment I thought I saw a tear in her eye. 

Kala hugs me for a long moment, before letting go. “So how did you survive?”

...

In my head I’m thinking, “oh you fuck face”

THE. AUDACITY. OF. THIS. BITCH. 

“HOWD I SURVIVE” UH NO THANKS TO YOU FOR ALMOST KILLING ME FOR YOUR STUPID RITUAL WHATEVER THAT KILLED TALAKO WTFFF

ARE YOU REALLY TRYING TO PULL THE SAME TRICK AGAIN??? GONNA PRETEND TO BE ALL SENTIMENTAL AND NICE JUST TO TRY AND KILL ME LATER ON? HA OK OK

how about instead, I do the one good thing, the one worthwhile thing I can do in my entire life...just one simple course of action that might hope to make up for the mountain of regret that is my entire existence. 

I am finally going to kill you.

Kala’s staring at me, eyes curious, head tilted as if all she ever did was ask what I had for brunch. 

I blink once, and my neutral expression, faintly coated with shock morphs into determination.

I roll for initiative. 

- - - - - - 

It’s 1am. 

So have a cliffhanger, kinda. 

If anyone bothers to read this far, congrats! Your reward is me being lazy. I’ll tell you what happened sometime tomorrow if anyone really wants to know :P Long story short, it doesn’t end how I, and therefore probably you, would except. 

[tigris-types]

If I was a fantasy witch, a spell-slinging, potion-making, turning-people-into-frogs witch, my cat Sabrina, would be my familiar.

I have two black cats, Sabrina and Salem, but Sabrina is my cat. I'm her person. She means the world to me, they both do, but Salem is more of a family cat than Sabrina is.

And well, yesterday they went to the vet and things got worse. I'm making a post about this now while I still can. Copied and pasted from texts ive already sent my friends. [[MORE]]

4-15-21: Okay so, I am not having a good night. Cats got back from the vet, all seemed fine. Sabrina somehow is missing a tooth?!?! And apparently theres just a gummy mass where the tooth should be. Salem has a heart murmer so its hard for him to get lots of air quickly like after exercising, but its good that he's staying active. Then, Sabrina starts making this strained sqeeky toy noise and we dont know what's going on. She slows down, lays on her side, my mom gives her the cat heimlich, and we think everythings okay now???? She more active now but she isnt interested in milk, which is very strange for her. I mean its milk!!! But she might still be wary of us due to the strange sensation of the heimlach. Were keeping an eye on her but i am very worried. I'm sticking to routine and getting ready for work tomorrow (4-16-21), but I guess this is heads up if something does happen to her.

4-16-21: Alright so, talked to my mom more about the vet visit today and Sabrina is missing a tooth. The vet noticed yesterday and we were confused how she was missing a tooth, but today her tongue has been sticking out where the tooth used to be. So I theorized she lost her tooth on the way to the vet. She still hasnt been as vocal as she normally is, but she's probably in pain due to a lost tooth. We're also not sure if she's had any food or water today, so thats concerning. We're also still not sure what she was choking on last night as nothing came out, but if my mom hadnt done the cat heimlich when she did Sabrina probably would have died last night. (We were waiting to see of she would cough it up on her own, but when she started laying on her side and her eyes were getting droopy I called my mom over and she stepped in, I'm so glad she has vet tech training).

She's been resting all day today, which is kind of normal for her, but she normally a very vocal kitty. Like meowing whenever anyone comes near her. But shes been so quite today even towards me! No excited chirps for a greeting. I hope shes just resting and she'll be better tomorrow but Im so worried.

Shes my familiar and I'm her witch. What would I do without her? I know shes 14 years old so shes middle aged, but she should still have a good few years left right? Please Sabrina, I'm moving to a new city soon and losing my support network at home, I cant lose you and Salem too!!!

[blookmallow]

i finally rewatched Us watching for details... I also took a bunch of screenshots, I’ve mentioned before I live in santa cruz and grew up going to this boardwalk so im obsessed with this movie, I’m going to go try to take some better comparison shots sometime (here’s a few I took before) (and here’s a Tethered mannequin that was outside of the frightwalk for a while. i havent been inside for ages so I don’t know if they moved him inside or if he’s just gone now) (i HOPE they did something with the theme considering the frightwalk is literally a horror attraction beneath the boardwalk. i dont really want to go in there by myself though lmao. not a fan of animatronics jumping out and screaming at me) 

this is a lot, i have many things to say 

-----------------

- the opening news segment is 11 at 11 

- you can faintly see adelaide/red’s reflection in the tv screen, with a toy rabbit (her shirt also has twin lines on it in multiple places but that could be looking too far lmao) 

- in the “Hands Across America” segment (aside from the obvious red figures linked together in the logo) : “from the golden gate bridge to the twin towers” another possible 11/twinning, and it starts in california, which is where the tethered revolution begins 

- on “from sea to shining sea” the exact same coastline image is just flipped 

(there’s also another 11 on the side of the TV here) 

- “This summer, 6 million people will tether themselves together” 

- brief mirroring in the boardwalk ad, not just two girls running on the beach but also two girls with upside down reflections in the ground, 

- fairly obvious one, but “find yourself” (as a sidenote there’s nothing in that spot irl, the roller coaster and the swings are real but there was never a ‘vision quest’ or a ‘merlin forest’ as far as I know and there’s no door or anything there either, the interior shots must’ve been done separately somewhere else) (nothing’s left here from the movie now either, I have no idea when they filmed it because I never saw anything or heard anything about it) 

- adelaide/red whistles “the itsy bitsy spider” when the lights go out in the vision quest - “down came the rain and washed the spider out,” it’s raining outside when her tethered comes up (and she is dragged down). she also drops her red apple on the ground before she enters 

- zora’s rabbit shirt 

- everyone else is eating fast food of some kind, except adelaide, who is eating red strawberries 

as well as being a visual cue, its possible she has an aversion to meat if she was forced to eat raw rabbit as a child

- young adelaide arranging animals in the sand (it seems like some of the tethered tend to mirror their counterpart’s movements, so it’s possible she’s mirroring red, though it’s probably not that likely she’d be planning this early/the dance hasnt happened yet so its probably just foreshadowing) 

- young adelaide very pointedly watches “her” mother crying, saying “I just want my little girl back” - she will never have her little girl back again, though she doesn’t know it (I’m not sure if adelaide still remembers what she’s done at this point either) 

its also mentioned that ‘grandma’ has passed away as of the present time, likely adelaide’s mother (i dont remember if its stated outright but since the house belonged to the grandma, and it’s in santa cruz, that would line up) so. the tethered mother, if she’s still alive, would not kill red’s real mother in the uprising. dont know about the father, or if red knows/cares about this, but. thats there. that also means the original mother will never know what happened with her daughter (likely the father won’t either, it’s not clear if he’s still alive but there’s no mention of him being around/he’s not at the house so it seems likely he passed already too) 

- adelaide, her reflection, and a (not so) itsy bitsy spider 

theres even two spiders, one a toy, one real 

- jason crawls out of a cabinet at zora’s feet and scares her while she’s looking in a mirror (which is also a very pluto-like movement) 

- adelaide finds the toy rabbit in a box; assuming the intro was chronological, we saw “her” with it in the tv screen reflection before she went to the boardwalk, so this was red’s rabbit first (she probably does not remember this, though) (red also later finds this and cuts off the head, not sure why though)

- adelaide “sees” her child self in the room with her (in her memory) learning her dance alongside her reflection

 but the reflection is the one she “sees” looking directly at her 

(she’s also interrupted by hearing her son, above her, screaming because he’s trapped, but that might not be intentional) (though when red comes down here later, she is also interrupted by her son getting stuck in the closet too)

- she’s also wearing a choker necklace with a matching gold bracelet, maybe an allusion to. the choking and the handcuffs, again i might be looking into it too much, but. the white clothes which steadily become red with blood seems very intentional so i wouldnt be surprised if the jewelry was planned specifically too 

- its really hard to see and its a split second throwaway comment but kitty goes “oh isnt that beautiful” showing her the magazine and i thhiiiink thats a white girl in a native american headdress :’  ) probably doesnt have. much deeper meaning other than ‘clueless white friends’ but 

- guy buried in sand comes bursting to the surface again and scares his friends (also eyyooooo you can see the wharf in the background im down there all the time) (sorry this is still wild to me. i grew up here ive been to that beach like 9 million times)

- i didnt catch it and was waiting for it to be shown again and it wasnt and i dont want to go back for it but anyway jason has a drawing of a bunch of people holding hands in a line like the hands across america thing in his room, theres a lot of drawings around and we see his drawing of the first untethered, so he probably drew that as well

- jason has a hard time communicating, but he seems to use drawing as a way to express himself. he doesn’t tell his mother about the encounter with the old man (and only shrugs when he’s asked about it) but he does draw it. adelaide found self expression through dance when she was a child before she was able to talk, so he probably got those traits from her. her voice also goes low and hollow on the line “I just didn’t know if you were lost, or... taken” 

- her voice also gets very strange when she’s talking about her memory of the encounter in the vision quest. low, shaky, harsh. its fascinating hearing how much alike the voices are (obviously they’re both the same actress/if the tethered are clones it makes sense that they’d have identical vocal chords but like. red’s got a fucked up voice. hearing echos of that in adelaide is wild and i didnt notice it at all before) 

- its not clear whether adelaide actually remembers what she did, or even realizes she was the copy - is she trying to protect her family from what she believes was the girl who almost took her, or trying to stop her from getting her revenge? she describes the event to gabe as if she was the one who was attacked but escaped, and im not sure if she’s lying or has convinced herself that’s the truth

something’s going on with jason and pluto too but I don’t quite know what it is. when we first see jason he’s wearing a Jaws shirt, kind of a similar vibe to the thriller shirt, and when the tethered arrive he’s wearing a white tuxedo t shirt, white matching his mother’s white outfit. the others all go off to kill their doubles but pluto holds jason’s hand, sits with him quietly, watches his magic trick, he’s told to go “play” which. obviously has a violent undertone to it but he doesn’t actually try to kill him. i dont even remember seeing him with the scissors. why are jason and pluto different. why does pluto get stuck mirroring jason’s movements even to the point of his death but the others dont. why didn’t adelaide mirror red

i guess its possible its because pluto is the youngest in the family so maybe he hasn’t broken out of his connection yet? they didnt really ever explain how they learned to do that 

and as for the connection with adelaide it. could just be that jason takes after his mom more and zora takes after her dad more but that seems too simple. i mean theres the theory going around that jason was actually switched with his clone too at some point and its got some good points (jason forgetting the magic trick, getting stuck in the closet again, etc) but theres a whole line of logic to debunk that too so its just. What’s Going On Here  

cal 11 

i took the first pic to get a comparison shot at the same place later irl but then noticed the ambulance they come across is the same one (#2) they saw earlier 

pretty obvious but the real rabbit comes out through the picture of an identical rabbit (there’s also probably a “rabbit hole” allusion here) 

i noticed this before too but now i have a screenshot of it, im the rabbit in the background just chilling on the floor during the climax here

- im sure i must have seen this before but i forgot about it. the 11:11 guy’s tethered didn’t have a sign so he just.......carved it into his head

- it never healed, either, he did it badly enough to scar

- red says “I couldn’t stop thinking about you, how you could have taken me with you” - she doesn’t mean adelaide ran off and left her there. adelaide made the choice to trap her in the underground. its possible red might have even been thinking how she would have let adelaide come with her if given the chance, which. i mean, i dont know how her parents would have reacted to suddenly having identical twins out of nowhere, but like. knowing there’s a chance red might have accepted her. and all this could have been different 

this is definitely a movie that’s not really intended to be fully explained, there’s a lot of questions that aren’t really supposed to be answered, but nonetheless one of my biggest concerns is where do the clothes come from underground. red tells us they were all abandoned down there generations ago so nobody’s supervising or providing anything. how do they end up with copies of the clothing their counterparts are wearing. and here adelaide has a messed up faded old shirt that either looks similar to red’s shirt or is the same shirt just badly damaged, she switches it with red’s before she goes out for good so that explains how she gets the new shirt, but where did this one come from. why is it different if the other clothes aren’t

and of course there’s the whole question of “where did they all get these red jumpsuits from” but again. questions that aren’t really the point, i guess

[cottoncandyshawn]

Could you make a imagine of Shawn having a little daughter and accidentally hurting her feelings. Or one where his daughter gets mad that he has to leave all the time ❤️❤️

Here you go anon! I wrote this late last night (I finished it around 4 am to be exact) and I edited it very quickly after work today… hope it’s alright!

Word count: a little over 2k 

Two and a half weeks. That’s how long it had taken Shawn to pack his suitcases for his upcoming tour… which also happened to be his first tour after having his four year old daughter. It could have easily been done in a day, but the heartache of having to leave his own little family got the better of him and once he had started placing clothes in his suitcases, he very soon found himself being dragged away by his little girl.

The first few times, he didn’t even have a second thought about staying to complete the task on hand. Elle was always going to be his top priority, leaving his wife for tour was one thing… but leaving his daughter for months on end was going to rip his heart to pieces, so he made a silent promise to himself to spend as much time as he could with her until he had to leave. During the lead up to fly out day, he found himself playing dress-ups, having picnics in the backyard with all her toys, taking her for ice cream, baking cookies and cakes, play fighting, and even letting her paint his nails. Anything she wanted, she could have… that’s what Shawn had allowed both himself and his four year old to think.

Now there were only two days until he had to leave, and you watch from the kitchen bench as he runs a hand through his hair in frustration.

“Babe, do you know where my red hoodie is? The Givenchy one… you know, the new one?” He asks through a sigh as he strides past you and into the laundry to check the hamper.

“The last time I saw it was when you packed it last week.” You pause for a second to think. You’d seen Elle snooping around your room the other day as she babbled to herself. “Elle, bubba! Do you know where daddy’s red hoodie is?”

You see her freeze in place, all previous dance moves to the songs coming from the movie she was watching suddenly forgotten as she tries to think of an answer.

Moving her chocolate curls out of her eyes with her tiny hands as she scrunches her nose, looking like a carbon copy of her father, she laughs nervously.

“Ummmmm… Nope! I don’t have Dada’s hoodie.” Her eyes look almost anywhere but yours, a nervous habit of your own that she seems to have picked up.

Walking over to your little girl, you see her eyes widen as she cowers in fear. Her fingers twist around themselves as she forces a smile onto her face, pulling out all her best tricks as to not get caught.

“Babygirl, if you have it then you need to tell mommy, okay? I promise I won’t be mad, it’s just very important for daddy to take that one with him. I’m sure he’ll let you keep a different one if you ask him nicely-“ Your words are cut off by Shawn’s as he yells from your very nervous looking daughter’s bedroom.

“Why the fuck was it in Elle’s room? I leave in a couple days, I can’t afford to lose all my shit right now!”

“Shawn, language!” You say back sternly. Your mom voice bubbling out of its confines. Standing from your kneeling position in front of Elle, you make your way into your shared bedroom where Shawn is grumbling to himself and sorting his clothes messily. Reaching out, you place a hand on his shoulder to try and calm him down a bit. “Baby, she’s just as scared as you are. She was just trying to keep something of yours for herself,” you speak softly, attempting to reason with him.

“Yeah, I know. Just not that one,” he says as his frame softens ever so slightly, “is she okay? She knows I leave in a couple days, right? You’ve talked to her about what’s gonna happen?”

“Yeah, we had a bit of a talk about it last night when I was putting her to bed. I saw her lip drop a bit when you found the jumper, so I think she’s just trying to be brave… braver than me, that’s for sure!” You giggle awkwardly as you wipe away a tear that has escaped your eye, your emotions suddenly catching up to you.

“C’mere, love. You know I’ll be able to fly the two of you out, we’ve done this before. I need you to be strong for my little bear while I’m away, though. I don’t think she understands how long I’ll actually be gone for.” By now your arms are wrapped tightly around your husband’s middle while you sniffle some tears back in the crook of his neck. His head tips down to leave a couple loving kisses on the side of your head, whispering a series of “I love you’s” in your ear. The tickle of his breath making you laugh through your tears, bringing a sad, but amused, smile to his features.

A small voice pulls you out of the moment as you hear a light tapping on your open bedroom door.

“Dada?”

“Hey muffin, c’mere!” Shawn speaks, kneeling down to the small child’s height and opening his arms, expecting her to run into them like she usually would. This time she doesn’t and he’s left hanging. “Elle, baby, what’s the matter? Where’s that pretty smile of yours?”

You watch silently as you see her bottom lip jut out and her chin crinkle. The natural sparkle in her young eyes turning into a wet gloss, and you know this look all too well.

“I don’t feel like smiling dada, I’m sad-“ she’s cut off by her own sobs. It’s the start of a cry that you know she’s been holding back for days now. You’d been doing the same. You see your husband’s shoulders slouch as he faces the reality of the moment. Neither of you were prepared for this moment. He launches forward and captures his small creation in his arms, being taken back to the moment he first heard her cry and he was able to hold her in the delivery room. He holds her close, just how she needed, her head pressed tightly against his chest, as if he was trying to show her that his heart was breaking over this too.

“Baby, don’t cry! I have to go, it’s for work, remember?”

“But why dada?!”

“C’mon, Elle. Daddy will bring you home lots of toys, and sometimes you’ll be able to come see me, and watch me sing, and-“

“I don’t care!” She speaks louder, pushing herself away from his chest to look at his suitcases. Her head falls back as she lets out a louder cry, her hair sticking to her wet, tear covered face. Shawn’s hands move frantically to try and brush the mess of hair away from her face, but she whines and pushes him away further.

“NO DADA! DON’T TOUCH ME,” she yells, a strong frown finding its way onto her tiny face. You watch her carefully, trying to figure out her next move. But, she shocks both her parents when she reaches for the neatly packed clothes in the suitcases and starts throwing them out and onto the floor.

“Elle! Stop it, I spent ages packing those!” Shawn speaks as he wraps his hands around her tiny wrists.

Her temper gets the better of her while she’s mid tantrum and the words leave her mouth without her thinking.

“NO DADA! I HATE IT AND I HATE YOU!”

Silence. Heavy sobs, and silence.

That’s all that could be heard before she broke free of Shawn’s limp hands and ran to you, wrapping her tiny arms around whatever part of you she could reach first. All three of you were in some form of shock, the words that left your four year old’s tiny mouth were so, so, so unlike her.

You watch as your husband rises to his feet again, turning towards you, you can see how glassy his eyes are.

“I, uh- I’m gonna go for a quick drive. Might drop by the store to see if theres anything I need, um… last minute.” With that he silently leaves the room. You hear him grab his keys and then the front door open and shut.

A couple minutes pass and you let Elle cry out all her emotions out into the collar of your shirt. When her whimpers begin to die down, she pulls away and asks for a cup of water in the tiniest voice.

Once she’s sat at the bench and sipping at her water, you decide to question her about her harsh words.

“Sweet pea, why did you tell daddy you hated him? You know that’s a very strong word…”

“I didn’t mean it, mommy. I just don’t want dada to go away from me. We always have so much fun and now I won’t have him anymore!” Her bottom lip starts to quiver again, but you spring to action before she can cry again… her infamous ‘second cry’ was a habit she definitely got from you.

“Munchkin, just because he’s going away, that doesn’t mean you won’t get to have fun with him! We still get to FaceTime him, we can call him, and he can even fly us out to see him!”

There’s a short moment of silence as she sits and thinks.

“Mommy?”

“What’s up, darling?”

“Can I make dada a card and a drawing? To say that I’m sorry for saying something I didn’t mean to him?”

“I think that’s a great idea, baby! While you draw and decorate your card, I’ll go fix up daddy’s clothes,” you say in an upbeat tone as you grab some paper and pencils for her, folding a sheet in half to make the card. As you start to walk off to your bedroom, you hear your daughter speaks up again.

“Oh… mommy?”

“Mhmm, yeah?”

“Can you do the writing for me? I don’t want to mess it up…”

“You know, baby… I think it will be more special to daddy if you do it yourself. What do you think?”

“Okay, I’ll try my hardest!”

______

Shawn returns home just before dinner, it’s clear that he’s been crying for a few hours. The tear stains on his cheeks looking like they’ll never disappear.

“Hey, I, um… I got you some more of that cereal you used to eat when I was away, back when we were dating… you remember the one? I thought you might like it, but now that I think about it, it’s kind of stupid so-”

“Come here, Shawn,” your words are gentle, knowing that he’ll need it after taking a blow like that from the tiny girl who holds his heart in both hands.

He drops the shopping bags to the floor and rushes towards you. His arms wrap around your frame so tight that you stumble back in his grip a bit. He lets out a heart broken sob, the type you’d only heard from him when he’d had anxiety attacks in the past. So you held him like the fragile human he was deep down, cradling his head in your palm as you gently ran a hand over his back to comfort him.

“She said she hated me, I didn’t know what to do,” he mumbled into your dampened pyjama shirt.

“Shawn, I think you need to take a moment. Wash your face, babe, and then go see her in her room. She’s been working really hard on an apology since you left.”

He straightens up and wipes his face with the sleeve of his hoodie, quickly rinsing his face under the cold tap water and preparing himself to see his little girl again.

As he makes his way to her room, with you following at a distance as to not miss what was about to happen, he knocks gently on her door with his knuckle,

“Princess, it’s daddy. Can I come in?” Laughing softly at the small gasp that leaves her mouth as she whispers something to her toys.

“Come in dada!”

When he opens the door, his heart melts at the small tea party she has set up for the two of them. She stands on the opposite end of the room in her bright pink princess dress, as she gestures for him to take his seat, and so he does.

“Dada,” she starts. Her voice shaky as she starts to get upset again, but she pulls herself together before she continues. “Dada, I’m sorry for the nasty words I said. I didn’t mean them, and I love you so, so, so, so much.”

She reaches behind her to retrieve the plastic crown that her father has claimed as his own.

“You’re my Prince Charming, dada. I love you very much!” She races towards him, her puffy dress rustling as her tiny legs move her across the room. Once in front of him she leans  up to place the crown on his head, along with a sloppy, love-filled kiss on her father’s cheek.

After a little while of the two of them chatting over pretend tea, Shawn lets out a quick gasp.

“Oh! Stay right there, princess. I almost forgot something. You watch him run towards the kitchen and then to your bedroom to retrieve something, he catches a glance at your confused stare as he runs past you again with a bag full of god knows what.

“Elle, I did some thinking while I went on my drive. I was thinking about how you gave me your teddy so that you’d always be with me while I’m gone, so I decided that I want you to keep this one for yourself!” He says excitedly, as he pulls out the bright red hoodie your daughter had stolen earlier, the look of pure joy on her face makes every inch of your body prickly with goosebumps.

“And, just so that we have something extra special, I bought us these matching hoodies too. So, now we have something of each other’s, and something to share!”

The small girl leaps over the table and into her father’s arms in an instant. Her dress puffing up to her shoulders as she hugs her idol with every ounce of love she has.

It’s quiet, but you hear it. The sweet exchange that made your heart swell.

“I love you, Elle.”

“I love you, dada”

[imbumkyung]

I Saw It In A Movie One Time (ch.2) - reincarnation

Chapter 1

Chapter 3

“She’ll be okay,” the man said

Kaileia lay on a towel that CJ and Miko set up. A man that was out surfing saw Kai getting washed up by the ocean and quickly pulled her out

“She probably just took in some water and passed out from shock but she’ll be good,” He finished, offering a nod to her friends.

“Oh, okay. Thank you so much,” Miko smiled before he went on his way, his wetsuit and board leaving a wet trail behind him. She was thankful they didn’t need 911 because to be real honest here, they were all broke as heck.

Not too long later Kai coughed a few times before waking up.

“Dude are you okay?” CJ asked

“Yeah I’m fine I just have a headache right now,” Kai replied, her voice filled with fatigue.

“Oh my god I thought you died,” Melissa said, half joking.

-

Kaileia didn’t remember what happened the rest of that night, only that Miko let her sleep over at her place. So when she awoke the next morning in a room that wasn’t hers, it wasn’t alarming at all.

What was alarming though was that she was asleep way longer than she thought she’d be. Usually she slept in until it was about ten to eleven a.m. Now, it was already two p.m. She stayed in bed for a little nonetheless, her inner monologue explaining the tasks of the day: walk the dogs, go to the gym, get that TB test and fingerprint scan done so you can start working soon. Mustering up as much leg strength as she could, she got up to go get ready for the day. She searched for her backpack with her change of clothes, toothbrush, toothpaste and all her other things, the only thing missing was her phone for her morning music. Puzzled, she couldn’t find it anywhere in her bag and come to think of it, she’d never seen this room in Miko’s house before. And the day looked a lot more glum than the usual Kauai sun.

“Miko? Have you seen my phone?” She questioned aloud enough for her to hear if she was downstairs. To no avail, she tried again, “Miko?”

Silence

Did Miko have somewhere to be this morning? She couldn’t call her without a phone so she figured she’d find a house phone and made her way downstairs. As soon as she openned the door of the bedroom, she froze

I have no idea who’s house this is.

A white hallway with a room straight across, a bathroom to the right and a staircase to the left. Carefully going down the staircase she was even more shocked and afraid— I really don’t know who’s house this is.

She found a smaller sized kitchen and a living room next to it, big enough to fit two couches and a TV, the front door on the upper right corner.

She picked up the house phone hanging right by the kitchen, only to realize she didn’t even know Miko’s number— it was saved to the cell phone she couldn’t find. Was I kidnapped? Am I in a murderer’s home?

Call mom, you idiot

Her hands scrambled in panic as she dialed her moms number,

“You have reached the voicemail box of pause Susie May, please leave a message! At the to—”

Who the fuck is Susie May? Spotting a pair of car keys on the table, Kaileia didn’t know where she was going, or what she would do, but she needed to get out of this murderer’s house as fast as she could. She ran up the stairs, her knees quivering from fear she paid as least mind to as she possibly could, grabbed her backpack, took the keys and ran outside. Walking as fast as she could, she smashed the lock button until she heard a beeping from one of the cars. Discovering which car the key belonged to, she put it in ignition and drove.

Nothing was familiar. Absolutely nothing. The island she lived on was small enough for her to have explored it all as she lived there for a whole 19 years, so it made no sense she’d never seen this place before. Her conclusion: the kidnapper took her to a land unknown. And she couldn’t go back to that house. Ever.

She made a right, and a left, and another right, trying to find something familiar. It took one wrong right at a stop light she didn’t realize— and a cop was right there. He signaled for her to pull over, most likely to ticket her for this minor mistake. Kai sighed— this is the last thing right now. I’m literally fleeing my kidnapper.

She rolled down her window, “Is there a reason you didn’t stop at the stop sign, ma’am?” The officer in black sunglasses asked. There was no reason for the sunglasses, really.

She shook her head, still in shock from everything that’s happened, especially from being questioned by a cop— the last time something like this happened, she had to pay so much money to fix her own car, and still needed to pay because the lady she crashed into went to physical therapy— taking the advice of her claims assistant, even tho Kai had left nothing more than a crack of paint on said lady’s car. In short, Kai wasn’t ready to be broke all over again.

“License, registration and insurance, please,” He requested.

She nodded, and scrambled the compartment to look for the information she knew she didn’t have. It surprised her though, she did find the registration and insurance. She left that into her lap to find her license in her backpack. She froze. It had her name and her picture but it was missing the rainbow and the blue letters reading “Hawaii”. It was instead a normal creme colored background and read “Washington” across the top. She scrambled back to the registration and insurance in her lap— both under her very own name. She couldn’t think. Shakily and obviously very nervous, she handed all three documents to the officer.

He received them with a nod, then took them to the police car, most likely to run her records. But how is this car under her name? How did she end up in Washington, and why Washington? What the fuck was here, that brought her here? Theres literally no reason to be here. It’s cloudy, it’s cold, it’s depressing.

He brought all three back to her, “Well there’s nothing on your record, and I’ve decided I’ll let you off with a warning,” he concluded.

Kai sighed gratefully, “Thank you so much Officer”

“You be careful now,” he advised, and his radio went off

“Chief Swan, do you copy?” A man said over the system

He nodded to her before dismissing her. She let out a breath she didn’t know she was holding.

Washington. I’m in Washington. What am I doing in the mainland? How is this car mine? Everyone here dresses weird. Could it be, that the house is also mine? Don’t be stupid. You might fall into the murderer’s trap. You should have told the officer while you had the chance. I mean you still do, technically. They haven’t moved and neither have you.

Maybe we could just check? You’re seriously gonna take a chance on death? Maybe.

Without thinking, she circled around the town before going back to the house she woke up in. It was now 6pm. If the murderer was to return, they’d have surely been home by now, right? But the sight she saw in front of her house was anything but a murderous aura. It was a father and his son riding on his little tikes bicycle in front of the drive way, just passing through. Warily but quickly, she walked to the front door, the umbrella she found in the back seat now in her right hand, ready to stab whoever it was that was gonna grab her as soon as she opened the door— only there was no one. All she saw was the house with everything in the exact position it was left.

I should call 911

She quickly searched for any cabinets until she found one filled with documents, proving ownership of the house, so she’d have an address and hopefully a name to provide whoever would assist her on the other line. Only for her heart to stop after reading the name of the homeowner: Kaileia Mahelona

Brows furrowed and eyes wide, she read the name over and over again, searching for any documents to prove otherwise but— nothing. Did this house belong to her? She stood frozen in that spot, no reaction, no other thoughts, just her trying to grasp onto the concept that this is either all some sick joke, a dream, or she is actually in another reality. Maybe I was reincarnated early?

Kaileia stalked across the kitchen and grabbed the remote, turning on the TV. None of the news was out of the ordinary— well at least for someone who didn’t pay too much attention to the news regularly. Immigration protests, some world cup final, tainted spinach and the shocking news on the Crocodile Hunter’s death. Surely they meant his death anniversary.

No. It was his actual death. With a photo of him and the words underneath reading “Steve Irwin, 1962-2006”

Two-thousand what now?

“This ain’t it, sis” she whispered, hands of stress running through her hair. She shook her head in disbelief.

Definitely not real. Wake up Kai, come on wake up. If it’s 2006, you’re literally six years old right now.

Her peripherals caught a computer she hadn’t seen there before. From there, she discovered that she was actually in Forks, Washington, it was definitely 2006, and that the Marvel universe exists here. So talking about Spiderman wouldn’t make her look like a mad man. Which is great, because she loves Spiderman. Also Deadpool. Okay that’s besides the point.

“What am I to do? I don’t think I have a job and I’m definitely not in school,” she thought to herself. Without a second thought, she left the house yet again and drove.

“Another hiker presumed dead, searches still going on for the killer animal—” a voice on the radio spoke. Killer animals? What the hell is going on, Forks? Distracted by her thoughts while driving along the never ending path along the mountain, a wolf suddenly ran across about 50 feet from her, still close enough for her to register that this was in fact NOT a normal sized wolf. It was about five times the size of what she’d expected.

She rounded a corner and caught sight of a party. “Forks High School Prom” a giant banner read across the entrance of the venue. She decided to park here, the lights were a pretty sight as she tried to pay no mind the awkward couple dancing in the middle of the lawn. The girl wore a purple dress with a boot and the boy with a suit on, skin paler than the Korean pop stars her friend Miko was obsessed with. It looked like that scene from Twilight. She was unknowingly staring— he dipped her low and placed a soft kiss on her neck. Another action that reminded her of the twilight movie. Kaileia hadn’t seen it since Elementary school.

The couple were about to exit the canopy when Kai thought, “careful girl, he’s probably a vampire”. It was only a joke, alluding to the Twilight movie that happened in Forks with this exact ending scene when the boy froze. He turned in the direction of Kaileia’s car and— ah shit.

“Can he hear me? How did he know to look exactly where I’m at?” She panicked

There’s no way this is happening. Hurriedly, she started the car and drove off.

Was that Edward Cullen? Was that really them? It has to be a real coincidence. Twilight is fiction. It’s literally cringe culture. But it could also explain that big ass wolf that jumped out of nowhere. It would explain why that girl looked so much like Bella.

Kai decided she couldn’t say or think anything about what she knows anymore. Edward can definitely hear her thoughts.

I can’t change the storyline. Everyone made it out alive at the end of Breaking Dawn. Don’t change that. I could die here. But if I died here would I go back to my old life? Possibly. It happened to that girl in Scarlet Heart: Ryeo.

Kai, that was a kdrama.

Twilight was a movie series!

Touché.

All I have to do is survive. Don’t change the story lines. Try not to get involved.

She parked the car in the driveway this time instead of across the street, rounding the corner to the door but froze as she saw the same boy who was just dancing at the prom.

“Can I help you, sir?” She asked him, trying her best to project her voice and mask her timidness

He turned, his eyes going first then the rest of his body behind him, “Hi, I’m Edward Cullen”

She nodded, “Hi. What are you doing here?” She asked, wanting to get straight to the point

He paused, realizing he didn’t prepare a lie to tell her and having no real justification besides “I heard your thoughts. How do you know what I am?” Of course, he didn’t say this out loud, he can’t jump to conclusions and expose his kind. Instead, he excused, “I must have gotten the wrong house.”

Kai nodded, keeping her thoughts silent and slipping past him, rushing to get inside and lock the door. She let out an exhale of relief after being inside.

He’s onto me.

Tags: @sunflowerspectre

Thank you for reading!

[bolbianddolanhouse]

BNHA self insert AU [Book 2]

Lost and confused on this here day? Start from the WAAAY beginning!

Chapter 1: It is Wednesday My Dudes.

Howdy! I guess I should introduce myself? Oof UMMMMMM, the names Lili Perla Iida! I’m 15 years old, about to turn 16, and I’m the oldest of 4 kids. Being big sis feels as natural as the wind in my hair as I pirouette. Speaking of dancing, it’s a Saturday morning, that means I have to get my ass in 5th gear for my private dance lessons. My favorite days are the ones where I get to dance and cause havoc with my siblings! I guess I should head downstairs for breakfast before that robo doggy yips at me for still being in my room.

“Buenos dias mija!” thats my mom, she’s the one bitch I respect the most.

“Good mornin” I greet everyone at the breakfast nook “what’s for breakfast?”

“Spam and eggs with toast” that’s my dad at the stove, I love him but he’s putting too much pressure on me to follow his footsteps. “Here’s your coffee.”

“Oh FUCK yea!” I holler as I jump into my spot at the nook. There’s nothing more I love than some egg and toast with my iced coffee.

“I’m hungies! Please just gimme one toast!” thats my younger brother Iwata, but I call him Iwee or Iwa, don’t tell the other two but he’s my favorite sibling. He’s the one that schemes and I say if that’s doable or not.

“DADDY! Tensei is teleporting my forkfuls into his mouth!”

“MOMMY! Hanaka set my toast on fire!” those two brats are my twin siblings, Hanaka and Tensei but I call them by their middle names, Rosa and Oro. Rosa is half-way decent to be around, so I share a room with her. Oro is a punk ass bitch in the making but I can’t hate him too much, he’s an intellectual.

“Can’t we go one breakfast without something catching on fire?” I rolled my eyes as I got served “thanks dad.”

“Nope, fuck you” Rosa stuck her tongue out “TENSEI STOP!”

“Hanaka! What did we say about tongues?” scolded dad “your family isn’t fire proof!” he turned to Oro “and what did we say about pestering your sister?”

“I shouldn’t play with fire unless I wish to get burned” the boy pouted and crossed his arms “but Iwa and I are hungies!”

“Here’s your plates” dad slid the food in front of the two boys “no more yelling or I’m taking away toast privileges!”

“NOOO THAT’S NOT FAIR!” we whined, you can take away our freedom but us Iida kids will be DAMNED if the sanctity of toast in the morning gets taken away.

“Oh shit, listen to your father” mom jeered as dad sat next to her “oh Lili, don’t forget about applications for entrance exams.”

“I still don’t know where to consider” I sigh as I butter my toast “like, I get that theres privates that have scouted me to go to their’s but I just wanna go to a dance school.”

“Sweet heart, you know we can’t just send you off overseas so young!” mom spoke with a hint of worry “besides, you still have private lessons at the institute until you turn 18! I won’t let you go off without the things you love to do.”

“You can always apply to UA” dad spoke up as he cut his spam “with the recommendations we can give, you don’t have to take the entrance exam.”

“Ugh, I can’t dance if I’m going to a hero school” I huffed “I don’t wanna go to your pompous alma mater dad. No offense mom.”

“None taken, not even I wanted to be there” mom responded so casually.

Dad gave her a side glance “May I remind you on who you met in said pompous school that helped build this family?”

“May I remind you on who was too much of a little bitch to tell me they liked me at said pompous school even though we saw each other basically everyday” she sipped her coffee loudly, marking her win.

“Oof I felt that roast in my DNA” Iwa hit the whoa “that shit hurted, F in the chat for Dad’s pride.

“F” chanted everyone but dad.

After breakfast, I grab my duffle bag and make my way to town.

“Good morning Lili!” thats my aunty Mimi, her and my mom are besties “say good morning Nikita.”

“Guden Morgen Lili!” that’s Nikita, Mimi’s daughter. She’s just a year younger than my twin siblings and today they have a little playdate as my mom and Mimi go to work.

“Mornin’! See y’all later!” I wave them off.

“Oh Lili! Good Morning!” that’s my uncle Jin, he lives next door to us and is besties with my mom and Mimi. For someone that doesn’t have kids, he sure does know how to care for them.

“Mornin’! Are you driving today?”

“Yep, can’t let the media know your mom’s car needs detailing!” he joked as he waved me off.

The dance institute I attend is in the same town we live in and just a 20 min walk from the gated community we live in. Well, 20 minutes for me because I walk kinda fast because of the engines on my feet. Dumb location for the quirk but it does help me when I dance.

“Ah Lili! There you are!” cried out my dance teacher as I walked in “can you lend me a hand in costuming? We need re-adjustments for a few costumes for the level 3s.”

“Of course I’ll help, be right there in a jiffy!” I rush into the costuming room, my second home at times! The lord has blessed me with a second quirk, Master Thread, and I like it more than my other one. It’s not dumb and super useful! I heard that there was once a pro-hero that had the same quirk and my parents knew him before his retirement. My mom says that she interned under his agency and he favored her for her Copy quirk. How cool is it that?! But hero stuff ain’t for me, I just wanna look pretty and dance for the masses. Maybe one day make elaborate ballet costumes, I already make my own at home to practice my quirk. How lucky am I to have such supportive parents?! After I finish the adjustments, I quickly put on my pointe shoes to do a practice run of our summer showcase. As much as I work well with the others in my class, I’m not friends with any of them and I don’t blame them. The instructors show me too much favoritism and even I’d hate me for hogging the attention.

“Lili! Marvelous work!” one of the instructors praised “how about we make you a solo act for this season finale?!”

“Me?! On such short notice?!”

“Yea! I thought I was going to do a solo act?!” huffed one of the girls on stage.

“Yes, you and Lili are going to be solos” they responded “we need to fill out time for our show and I know Lili can give quite a show.”

I looked around to my dance-mates and they all rolled their eyes “I mean, sure but I don’t know how good I can make a solo act in a month and a half!”

“Great!” they clapped “okay, from the top! We need to work on those jumps!”

As usual, nobody bids me good bye at the end of class. I’ve known most of them since I started there at age 5 and they don’t give me the decency to say hello or good bye! It sucks but I didn’t join to make friends. I walk through the streets to get to the fabric store I frequent, you’ll often catch me here after school or practice.

“Lili! Hey!” that’s Maru, he’s son of the number 1 hero, Deku. Our parents are friends and his dad owes his life to my mom because of her quick thinking that saved him back during the UA days. So I guess Maru is my friend?

“Oh sup Maru” I stopped walking as he ran toward me “what brings you around these here parts?”

“I was just looking at some of those shops” he points down the street “theres always cool stuff around here.”

“Yea there is, anyways, wanna join me?” I get giddy��“I heading into the fabric store and I need some opinions.”

“I’m your guy!” he joins me as I fully geek out over the new satins.

“Okay so which one? The candy blue” I hover the bolt over my chest “the pearlescent one OR this blush pink?”

“I’m torn between the pearl and pink one” he mutters to himself “what are you trying to make?”

“Another costume, I got a solo act but I have yet to come up with something.”

“Oh that’s not fair! Isn’t the showcase in a few weeks?”

“THAT’S WHAT I SAID!” I groaned “I need so much help Maru! Plus I have to get started on applications and it’s all just a mess.”

“Well, if you ask me” he gets up and walks up to Lili “I think you should get both these satins and I know you’ll come up with something amazing! You’re really good at being graceful” he does a shakey spin “see? And why don’t you apply to UA? So that way we could go to school together!”

“Thank you for your kind words but I’m not going to hero school” I turned to put the blue satin back in the rack “I wanna wear pretty dresses and dance, not kick villain ass!”

“But think about it!” He picked up the two bolts of satin “how cool we’d be as a duo! I’d kick villain ass and you wrap them up to detain them!” he walked up to her “I’d be much braver with you by my side.”

“Be serious!” I laughed as I playfully pushed him “it’s not playtime, it’s hero work! Plus you gotta make your parents proud.”

“But I am serious” he retorted “I want to fight along side you, I want to do lots of things along side you. We’ve been friends since you were born!”

“And? That doesn’t mean you can’t live without me!” I look through the decals section “But you’re already doing great over there.”

I make my purchase and Maru walks me to the front gate before parting ways. What to do? The days just whoosh on by and I don’t have much to go off on. I submit applications to some private high schools that have dance programs but dad keeps insisting that I apply to UA. He had the audacity to give me a physical copy of the application! Apparently hero school apps are due much later than the other schools, for UA it’s October and it’s end of June right now. More time passes and I got a piece together for the showcase along with costume. At this point, I’m just counting the days until I get a response from those other schools I applied to.

-Night of the Summer Showcase-

What a night to be alive and pretty! My costume got the eyes of many that they didn’t notice my tiny fumbles. Another success in my books! My family came out to see me and so did Maru. After, I met up with my parents and Maru also came up to us.

“Amazing show Lili” he hands me a large bouquet of flowers “these are for you!”

“Oh you didn’t have to get me flowers” I was astounded by the mass of pink roses and lilies “but I’m glad you enjoyed the show!”

“I loved your floating spins and the thing at the end when you revealed the satin costume!” he imitated some of my moves “oh um, is it cool if we go for a little walk?”

“Oh sure let me just give these to my mom” I turn to my mom “I’m going for a walk, catch up with yall later.”

“Don’t wander too far! It’s dark out” dad chopped as I turned.

We walk to the garden area to the side of the performance hall “it’s a nice summer night.” commented Maru “the sky is clear too.”

“It is” I smile as I look up “I hardly get the time to look at the sky anymore, I loved star-gazing as a child.”

“Lets star-gaze over there!” Maru pointed to an open patch of grass. We lay on our backs and point at our made up constellations. “You know, I really enjoy your company Lili. You make things so much fun.”

“Thanks I guess?” I really didn’t know how to take that compliment.

“It’s a good thing” he laughed and turned his body on his side, toward me “I’ve been thinking about what you said about just wanting to look pretty and dance. Well, what if I figured out something?”

“What did you figure out?” I was genuinely confused because I don’t remember there being a problem with me wanting that.

“I figured out how you can dance and be pretty with always being by my side” he smiled “we just, get married.”

A record scratched in my head, did this foo just say get married? “Um, what?”

“I know that was a bold thing to say but I was giving it some thought” he explained himself “I like you a lot Lili, I want to be someone you can depend on and I can be someone that supports you in everything you want to do. I’ll be the breadwinner and you can do your thing and not have to work as hard.”

“But I don’t JUST want to be pretty and dance” I butted in “I want to work too! Professional Dancer is a legit career plus I want to go to college” I was starting to think I’m missing the point here “why are you suddenly talking about this?”

“I’m saying that I like you, more than a friend” he meekly spoke “and I want to be a man you can be proud of. You make me feel like I could do anything! Won’t you be my girlfriend?”

My mind was racing but going dumber, how do I tell him that he’s making a mistake without saying it word for word? “Maru, I didn’t know you felt that way!” I scrunched my face “I don’t know what to say.”

“It’s okay, take your time!” he leaned in closer to my face, softening his voice “maybe I should show you how serious I am.” This bitch fully kissed me on the lips, my first kiss and I didn’t feel the sparks or flutters in my tummy. I felt...nothing.

“Huh” I said after he broke the kiss “well uhhhhhh oof um” I stood up “I’ll be talking to ya later” I do finger guns and bolt to the parking lot.

“Wait Lili!” he tried to catch up to me.

“TEXT ME WHEN YOU GET HOME!” I yell before locating my parents “MOM! por favor start the car!” I get in and everyone picked up that I was not okay and something happened but needed some time to sort out my thoughts. Once we got home, I took a shower and slumped in my fuzzy chair in the dark.

There was a knock at my door “Hey, you wanna eat some hot chips with me?” it was Iwa.

“Sure” I open the door to let him in.

“What’s the deal with you? Everything was cool until you started running” he popped open a party size bag of hot cheetos con limon.

“Ugh it’s Maru” I grab a few cheetos “he out of nowhere just confessed and kissed me.”

“Oh shit!”

“Right?! And I feel a little fucked up” I crunched on a cheeto “because I feel like he could do better and when he kissed me, I felt nothing. And that was my first kiss, from my childhood friend!” I put my handful of cheetos in my mouth “I wanted to feel those good feelings but I didn’t. Does that make me a bad person?”

“Dang Lili, from how I see it” he licked the cheeto dust from his thumb “it’s a sign that he’s wrong and you aren’t the one for him” he gestured to the ceiling “the universe isn’t telling you to kiss every boy but just that it’s okay not to reciprocate feelings to somebody else. Your feelings are valid and you’re the baddest bitch here.”

I started to feel a lot better after talking to Iwa. I eventually told my mom and she said basically the same thing. I am confident to say that I am not in love with my friend and I don’t need their validation. Of course I didn’t get a chance to tell Maru since it’s summer and he’s busy with school. In some weird twist of fate, I got rejected by all these schools I applied to. I wasn’t upset, just questioning if this is the universe trying to tell me something.

“You okay sis?” carefully asked Rosa “you don’t look too hot.”

“I don’t know what to do” I spoke up from my desk “nothing but rejection letters and I’m not worried about school or where I go, but what’s wrong with having me as a student?”

“Hmmm, well I know daddy wants you to go to that school” she points at the blank UA application on my desk “and you want to go to a dance academy...por que no los dos? You can go to dance academy for college and go to hero school BUT only to spite dad.”

“Rosa, you’re a genius!” I praised her “who says you have bad ideas?!”

“I know I’m right” Rosa gives a power stance “I’m the powerhouse of the cell!”

And I did just that, I applied and got an invite almost immediately to take the entrance exam in early November. That gave me almost 2 months to train, plenty of time! I tried to hide this from my dad but the word slipped and he was too happy to take me to the exam and help me train. Don’t even get me started on that whole side of the family, uncle Tensei started crying, grandma and grandpa wouldn’t shut up on how the family is going to be full of heroes. All the while, I was trying to break the news that I wasn’t going to be returning for the advanced level courses of dance. All the instructors were sad to the point of begging, everyone else was happy that I was leaving. 

-Day of exam-

“You have everything you need?” Dad asked me for the 5th time since we got in the car “we still have time to-”

“YES DAD! FUCK!” he was stressing me out “I’m ready to take this test, stop worrying.”

He sighed “You remind me so much of your mother when we were at UA” he smiled at the thought “she’d snap at me too when I was being overbearing, but I did it because I loved her and wanted her to succeed.”

“Well, what’s one thing she couldn’t leave without?”

“She didn’t feel right unless she hugged me goodbye” he chuckled “even something so simple made my heart race.” He pulls up to the front of the massive front gate of UA “we’re here, do your best! I believe in you.”

“Thanks dad” I take a deep breath “I’ll call you later.”

I walk in the place and I don’t see anyone familiar, just a bunch of students from public schools and other privates. I took a written exam, then came the infamous physical portion. My dad and his hero friends were telling me that it’s one of the toughest entrance exams in the nation, but I wasn’t afraid, just oddly excited! I do my stretches, just minding my business, when I get some crude comments.

“Excuse me but the dance auditions are that way” said some boy condescendingly “why don’t you take your little pink shoes and get out of here before the big scary robots crush you?”

I squinted at them as the group of boys behind them laughed “Excuse me but aren’t the weak little bitches auditions that way?” I stood up to show that I tower him in height “I’m in the right place little man.”

“Lets get to the gates dude, she’s scary”

Everyone was summoned to the start gate and I had a feeling that somebody was watching me. Not like a camera watching me but like somebody near me was looking at me. I looked around but didn’t see anybody familiar or staring at me, it didn’t matter once the siren wailed to start the exam. I was kicking mecha ass with some fancy moves thrown in and when I thought I was going to end the exam on a good note, I hear somebody cry out for help. I rushed over and saw someone had their arm and leg trapped under a mecha, with the added panic of the 0 point big boy mecha dangerously close. I wasn’t going to leave them there, so I gave my all to lift the mecha off them. I couldn’t even lift the thing an inch off them! I had to get creative and used my 2nd quirk to lift the mecha off. I did it and pulled them out to make a run for the safety line.

“It’s no use, just leave me here” said the trapped person “I can’t walk.”

“I’m not giving up on you! I don’t care if I fail this exam” I unraveled my sports jacket, shirt and the ribbons in my hair to fasten them to me “hold on tight! We’re going airborne!”

“Wha-!”

I use the last of my energy to blast us into the air in a wide arch to barely avoid the mecha crushing us. Of course I didn’t have a back up plan and we crash landed in the safety zone, on top of other students.

“Owchies” I groaned “is everyone okay? Sorry about that! I didn’t have a landing plan.”

The nurse runs over “WAH! Miss Iida?! You caused this mess?!”

“Heh ummm yea” I shamefully admitted “sorry Miss Eri, I couldn’t let this student get crushed by the big boy mecha.”

“Lets get you two in the stretcher, come on” she sighed in disbelief “and I’ll be telling your parents young lady!”

“Aww wack!” I pouted as robot helpers put me in the stretcher. I looked over to see the other person in the stretcher next to me “are you alright?”

“I’ll be okay know” they smiled at me “thank you so much for not giving up on me.”

“No problem! I’m Lili by the way.”

Before they could tell me their name, they were hauled away for intensive care. It was fair, they did get injured far worse than me, I walked away with just some gnarly bruises and a scraped shoulder. I didn’t see them after and I really wanted to know their name because they looked oddly familiar. My parents were worried about my injuries as I tend to heal slower. It was winter vacation, usually I’d be excited to be in the holiday mood but I was just waiting in anxiety for my letter. Come the last day of December, I got my acceptance letter! The amount of relief I got from it all was amazing, according to the letter, I scored the most rescue points. Making me at the top of the scoreboard along with some others, so I’m in Hero class A, just like dad and mom. My dad fussed over me the most in the weeks leading to the first day of school.

-Morning of the first day-

“Wake up Wake up Wake up!” yipped the robo dog as they bust into my room “it’s the first day of classes Lili and Hanaka! Please get dressed and hurry down for breakfast.”

“Hnnn it’s 7 in the god foresaken morning!” I groaned as I rubbed my eyes “welp, come on Rosa or the boys are going to beat us to the sinks.”

“Hn! 5 more minutes” she tossed in her bed “Tensei is gonna teleport us to school, you have to ride with daddy.”

“Don’t remind me you brat!” I threw my pillow at her “whatever, just don’t melt the shampoo bottles.”

“Fuck you!”

I quickly take my shower and got dressed in my new uniform to greet my parents. They fawn over how much I look like them when they went to UA, mom told me the story of how she got confused for a boy on the 1st day because her ass was too big for the skirts that they had to be tailor made! I got a good laugh out of that and it made me feel better about starting my school day. I kiss them goodbye and got in the car with dad.

“Excited Lili?”

“Yea, I mostly want to see if that person I rescued made it in” I could hardly sit still in the passenger side “the rush I got from them thanking me had me feeling alive.”

“I hope they did! Sounds like you made a friend if they did.”

“I also wonder who’s the homeroom teacher!” I said as we slowed at the last stoplight before school “since it’s not Eraserhead anymore, I hope it’s one of your friends or some other notable alumni.”

“That’s a good question” Dad pondered “you have to let me and your mother know when you get home” he stops at the same place as last time “here’s your stop, have fun and make friends!”

“Okay dad” I took in a calming breath “I’ll see you later!”

To think my parents walked through the same doors, not knowing that they were going to end up like this? Now their daughter... I hope I’ll find my soulmate here too. I have a soft spot for the love my parents have for each other, you can just tell that they’ve been working on their love since before they actually started dating. I often catch them making out, give loving embraces after a hard day and care for each other in different ways. I want to be loved as hard as my dad loves my mom.

“Lili? Is that you?!” Maru’s voice broke my train of thought.

“Huh? Oh, Maru! Hi!”

“Hey! You made it in!” he gave me a tight hug and twirled “welcome to UA! If you want, I have time to walk you to class.”

“Oh sure” he puts me down “do you know where room 1-A is?”

“Sure do! It’s down over here” he leads me to the hero wing “wow A class huh? I thought the hero stuff wasn’t for you?”

“I thought so too” I shrugged “guess I just had to try and see for myself.”

“If you’re not busy at lunch, we can eat together too.”

“Don’t you have friends here Maru?” I snickered at him.

“You have to call me Midoriya-senpai around the others” he said trying to silence me “and I have to call you Iida-chan.”

“Eww fuck no” I gagged “sounds like you’re calling my dad chan! I’m going to call you Maru, and you have to call me Lili MAYBE Perla if I’m acting up.”

“Fine but I’m saying that I’m respected around here for being one the top students” he bragged as he put his hand on my head “and you’re just a little bitty baby still!”

“Ah! Get yo hand off my hair” I tickle his side to retract his hand “looks like this is my class, see ya later!”

“You don’t play fair Lili” he waved me off “have fun.”

 I walk in and see a few people already there, I looked around for my seat and mine is number 4. I set my bag down and get approached by someone.

“Um hi, you probably don’t recognize me but I’m the person you rescued at the exam” shakily spoke the person “I didn’t get a chance to say, but my name is Hoshi Togata.”

I looked at them and something was oddly familiar about them, like I knew them before the exam “Oh you made it in! I was worried if you placed and if you recovered well.”

“You were worried about me?” they blushed “well, I recovered just fine. My arm was broken but Nurse Eri healed me before I was supposed to go home.”

The bell rang and we all sat in our seats, Hoshi sat behind me.

“Good Morning class! And welcome to UA, my name is-”

“BAHAHA NO WAY!” I bursted into laughter “Yo we got Diaper Boy as homeroom teacher?!” 

“My name isn’t Diaper Boy!”

“Oh I’m sorry, Diaper Man!”

Our teacher rubbed his temples “Anyways, my name is Grape Juice but you can call me Mineta sensei.” He gave me a stern look “Miss Iida, I trust you’ll behave like your father.”

“Don’t compare me to that Turbo Rectangle!”

“It’s like listening to your mother in your father’s body” he muttered.

Once we went through a whole day of classes, Hoshi and I walk around.

“You know Togata, you look oddly familiar and it’s bothering me a bit.”

“How?” they sweat a bit “I’m just one of the boys!”

“Hmmm, I feel like we met before the exam” I rubbed my chin “but I can’t quite remember, we were probably children when it happened.”

“Well, actually” he put some thought into it “I was thinking the same thing sort of, would it help if I told you my dad is Lemillion?”

“Oh shit! It’s coming back to me!” I was wide eyed as we head to the parking lot “yea! They have 2 boys and a girl my age. OH THAT’S WHO! I was thinking about your sister, how is she by the way?”

“Oh ummm I don’t have a sister” the smile on his face disappeared as he said that.

“Huh? Maybe I was-” I hear a car honk, it was mom “oop, gotta go! See you tomorrow!”

I hop in the car and waved bye. I told my family of my school day and my mom couldn’t stop laughing at the fact that their school-mate Mineta was the homeroom teacher. But as I was getting ready for bed, one thing was bothering me... where did I see Hoshi before?

-Chapter 1, End-

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[herocentral]

Voltron Frozen Defender Chapter 3

Heres Chapter 3 of Voltron Frozen Defender sorry for the delay I’ve had a lot on my plate I intend to add illustrations to the chapter but it will take time. Until then heres chapter 3.

Voltron Legendary Defender (c) Dreamworks Animation

Frozen (c) Disney

Again this is just for fun I don’t own any of the characters any fan characters are created by me no one is allowed to trace, copy, steal etc without my permission. Enjoy

Chapter 3:

Paladins in Shining Armour to the Rescue:

The sun rose on another beautiful day In the kingdom of Arendelle, and everyone was waking up and the guards were going to their posts. However a group of them went an opposite direction. The lead guard who had a hidden scar in his eye handed a small vial of blue liquid to the one on his right, and he smiled sinisterly. Meanwhile In the village the four Paladins who were tired and groaning after their night in the trading post barn, Lance was still picking out pieces of hay from his clothes and hair. 

“Okay. Thats the last time we sleep in a haystack.” He said irritated “ Well it wasn’t so bad, unless you count Hunks snoring.” Pidge said holding her backpack. “Hey I don’t snore!” Hunk said offended.

 “ Actually you do.” Kieth pointed out. Hunk just looked away pouting. “Well I don’t know about you guys but I could do with some breakfast.” Lance suggested “ One problem we have no money.” Kieth points out, Lance then looks around and sees something that gives him an idea. 

Later Pidge and Lance are picking up coins that were discarded on the ground in the streets of the kingdom, they were gathering whatever they could find and Kieth was watching leaning against a building not believing they were doing this. However it paid off and soon went to the Inn for something to eat. They sat at a table eating oatmeal and honey, and they enjoyed the taste of the food. 

“Mmm you know guys normally I wouldn’t eat oatmeal, but this stuff ain’t so bad.” Lance observed. “I know kinda reminds me of my moms cooking back home.” Pidge agreed. “I’m amazed we got the money to have this breakfast.” Hunk said “Yeah looks like your trick from the space mall actually paid off.” Kieth admitted “So whats the plan now.” Asked Hunk. 

“We find Shiro.” Kieth said plainly “Uh Kieth,” Lance started “I don’t know if you’ve noticed but we’ve looked all over this kingdom but theres no sign of him for all we know he could be still in the mountains!” 

“No he’s here I know it.” Kieth argued “Well perhaps it would be more productive if we first get the facts straight. “ Pidge suggested, so they discussed all they learned from yesterday, about how the country ceased business with a country called weselton and how on the day of the queens coronation the place had a strange case of winter. Then Hunk realised something. 

“Hey uh guys.” He said getting their attention, “You know theres one place we haven’t checked.” This peeked everyones attention. “The castle.” This made them groan and Lance plants his face on the table. “Hunk we can’t just waltz into the castle we aren’t royalty or even guests.” Pidge said “The minute we go to the gate they’ll see were complete strangers.” 

“Complete strangers hiding five giant mechanical lions in the hills.” Lance pointed out.

Kieth took the time to think and he realised something “Guys Hunk has a point.” The others all stare at him completely bewildered.

 “So far we’ve had no luck finding Shiro and since the castle is the one place we haven’t searched it makes sense,” He finished. They all looked to each other knowing that Kieth was right and if there was the faint chance Shiro was in the castle they had to take the chance. 

“Alright, I guess we’re sneaking into a castle then.” Said Lance sighing in defeat. 

Meanwhile in the castle

Meanwhile Shiro was walking around the castle courtyard getting ready to head out and look for his friends. He then caught sight of one of the stables and heard some singing coming from it, curious he went to take a look. He peeked inside and saw Kristof playing a small guitar singing to his reindeer. 

“But people smell better then reindeers, sven don’t you think I’m right…”Kristof sung “Thats once again true for all except you…” Sung Kristof as Sven“You got me.” “Nice duet” said a voice and startled Kristof as he turned and saw Shiro standing in the doorway.

 “ Oh hey. your the guy we found in the hills.” He said “Yeah names Shiro.” he said offering a hand shake which Kristof accepted “I’m Kristof and thats Sven.” As they shook hands Kristof noticed how cold his hand was since it was Shiros prosthetic hand. “Wow how come your hands cold?” he asked Shiro wasn’t quite sure how to answer that without telling him about his prosthetic. “Well I guess its still a little cold after being on the hills at  night.” He answered. 

“Yeah happened to me once.” Kristof understood “ So what you up to?” He asked in general. “Well I was planing to head into the village and look for some friends of mine that I hope are here.” Shiro said. “Well if you’d like I could show you around help you get to know the village.” Kristof offered “Okay thanks” Shiro thanked as they headed out of the barn with Sven following close behind them. 

Castle Gardens

In the castle Gardens, Anna and Elsa are enjoying some lime drinks in the summer sun enjoying each others company. Meanwhile Olaf is chasing a butterfly around the gardens cheerfully through the bushes.”You know this is nice.” Anna observed “Yes we should do this more often” Elsa agreed as she took a sip of her drink, as she spent time with her sister and it made her think of the time that they spent apart from fearing that her powers may lead to harming others. However she was beginning to feel dizzy and a sudden feeling of sleep creeping up on her. This didn’t go unnoticed by her younger sister. 

“Elsa, are you feeling okay?” Anna asked with concern.

“I’m fine Anna I. I’m just a little….tired….” At that moment Elsa suddenly collapses to the ground as she tries to stand from her seat. “Elsa!” Exclaimed Anna in surprise as she stood up, but then she too began to feel drowsy  and everything looked blurry around her until finally collapsing to the ground herself and fall unconscious. Two guards then appear who were actually the black hooded intruders from last night, both of them bearing sinister smiles. 

“Spiking their drinks was a perfect idea.” Said one imposter “I know now lets go collect our payday.” Said the other imposter. 

The village. 

Meanwhile in the village, Kristof and Sven were showing Shiro around the village and Shiro was beginning to like his new surroundings of the village it reminded him of his life on Earth before the Kerberos mission that changed everything. 

“This is a pretty peaceful place.” Shiro observed. “Well yeah I didn’t realise that but its peaceful on a good day.” Kristof said in agreement. Shiro looked around and saw children playing in the streets and the colourful buildings, he didn’t know why but for once he was feeling at peace. However he was so distracted he began to hear the sound of something approaching him from behind suddenly he heard the sound of horses trotting and moved quickly. “ Look out!” Shiro cried pushing Kristof out of the way of an approaching horse and cart that thundered by. 

“ Whoa thanks.” Kristof breathed as Sven rushes over to his friend, “Your welcome” Shiro said helping Kristof up. They looked down the street, to see the horse and carriage disappear into the distance then Shiro noticed something shining on the ground and went over to take a look.

 “Where were they off to in a hurry?” Kristof asked whilst Sven just snorted. Shiro knelt down and picked up the shiny object, and it was a blue glass slipper. Whilst this looked like something out of an old story, a horrifying realisation. “Oh no!” He breathed “What?” Kristof asked.

 “I’ve seen this before, the Queen was wearing shoes like this.” Shiro said in a serious tone. Kristof began to put the pieces together and realised if this was the Queens shoe that meant one thing. “ Anna!” He breathed “She and Elsa may’ve been abducted!” 

“They were heading to the kingdom entrance! If they get beyond that we’ll never catch them!” Shiro surmised “ Not on foot” Said Kristof and Shiro turned to see him on Svens back, knowing what he was thinking he then went over to a passing guard “ You there!” Shiro called getting his attention “The queens been kidnapped inform the other guards and head for the entrance to the kingdom!” The guard was in shock and immediately nodded as he headed back to the castle, Shiro then ran over to and mounted Sven behind Kristof and the three hurried after the escaping carriage. 

Elsewhere in the upper area of the village, The four Paladins were making their way towards the castle, however a majority of the group were a little skeptical about what they were planning to do. 

“I can’t believe we’re doing this.” Lance said “Were actually going sneak into a castle, look for Shiro and then make like a pinatia and beat it.” Hunk listed rather unsure. “Guys relax this’ll be no different from infiltrating a Galra base.” Kieth said, Pidge then looked down to the lower streets. 

“Guys look!” The others then looked to what Pidge was looking at and saw Kristof riding his reindeer chasing a horse and cart heading out of the kingdom. “Hey its that guy who showed us round yesterday.” Hunk recognised, however Kieth noticed the person riding with him and though he was far away he instantly recognised him. “Its Shiro!” He stated.

“Yeah, looks like he’s chasing that wagon but why?” Lance asked “Lets find out! Come on!” Kieth said as he and the others headed off after them. “Uh what about the whole sneak into the castle idea?” Hunk asked “Change of plan now come on!” Lance called and Hunk began to follow them. In the town, the carriage was roaring round the bends with Shiro, Sven and Kristof closing in from behind. Sven ran along side but then one of the imposters noticed them. 

“We’ve got company!” He said to the other imposters on  the cart. Two of the imposters on the back of the cart drew their pistols and began shooting at Kristof, Sven and Shiro which they were quick to avoid and as they re loaded Shiro quickly snatched up a pitch fork from one of the stalls and then threw it at one of the cart wheels which hit dead on target jamming the wheel causing it to snap off and then crash into the ground, causing the ramp to drop and two sacks to fall out the back. Shiro and Kristof then dismounted from Sven and went over to the sacks and opened them to reveal Anna and Elsa tied up inside of them. Anna was the first to come to and she woke up in Kristofs arms.

 “Uh what, what happened?” She asked her boyfriend “Long story but the short of it you were abducted by assassins.” He said uniting her. Shiro began uniting Elsa. 

He then noticed the imposter guards coming out of the wrecked cart and drew their swords to fight. Kristof then got up to face them but Shiro stopped him. “No see to the Queen and Princess, leave this to me.” Shiro said in a dead serious tone standing in front of them. 

The imposters then approached, with hostile intent “ Nice scar pal.” Said one of the imposters noticing Shiros scar. “But unless you want me an my associates to give you another one you’ll stand aside.” Shiro silently looked at the situation and his opponents. “So paid mercenaries huh?” He surmised “ If you want them you go through me.” The assassins just laughed and Elsa was beginning to stir and could see Shiro standing between them and the imposters. 

Shiro looked at his prosthetic arm, and he closed his eyes and raised his fist and it began to glow and in doing so burned  off some of the sleeve over his arm then took a fighting stance with his hand as an open palm. This surprised everyone around him and Elsa couldn’t believe what she was seeing

 “Shiro?” She breathed in disbelief. “Get him!” The lead imposter yelled as they charged forward and Shiro charged into battle he used his cyber prosthetic to repel the swords and then slice them in half, followed by a round house kick knocking out two of the mercenaries then turned quickly pulled a fist and struck another in the back knocking him to the ground, and Shiro stood above them victorious, whilst the royals, ice master and reindeer all had dropped jaws not believing what they’d seen. 

Unknown to the Black Paladin the fifth mercenary was sneaking up behind him with a knife in his hand. “SHIRO!” Anna cried as the mercenary was about to strike until an unforeseen force struck him in the back and he fell down and it revealed to be Kieth who struck him in the back with the blunt end of his knife.

 “Didn’t see that coming did ya.” He said. “Kieth?” Shiro said in surprise “Hey its not just Kieth called a voice and running over was Lance, Hunk and Pidge who were all but glad to see their leader alive and well. “Guys!” Shiro breathed “ How’d you find me?” “Well it wasn’t hard you left a big trail.” Said Pidge “Dude whats with the outfit?” Lance asked. 

“Uh guys.” Hunk said as he directed their attention to see more mercenaries appearing out of nowhere as the assailant Kieth knocked out got back up. 

“You didn’t think I’d come here without a back up plan!” he said. The situation seemed dire for the Paladins.

 “Uh guys what do we do we’re defenceless.” Hunk said.

 “Not quite” Said Pidge who took off her back pack and opened it to reveal the green, red, blue and yellow Bayards. 

“Alright!” Lance exclaimed. “I had a feeling we may run into trouble so I packed our Bayards just in case.” Pidge said as they took their respective weapons, they then faced the mercenaries and formed their respective weapons. Kieth formed his Bayard sword, Lance formed his Bayard blaster, Pidge formed her Bayard energy blade/grappling hook and Hunk formed his Bayard energy cannon. Anna, Elsa, Kristof and Sven couldn’t believe what they just saw, Shiro turned to them. 

“Kristof get the Queen and Princess to safety we’ll take it from here.” He said in a serious tone. Though Kristof didn’t understand anything thats just transpired he knew this wasn’t a safe place so he helped up Elsa and Anna, then they took cover near one of the stalls. 

The mercenaries charged forwards and the Paladins took up their stance and charged into battle.

Kieth clashed swords with a mercenary and delivered a punch straight to the face, another attempted to strike him with a hammer but the Red Paladin quickly performed a sideswipe and tripped him up into the remains of the cart. A mercenary was about to attack him but was then suddenly blasted in the back and Kieth turned to see it was Lance who blasted him. 

“Thats why you pack a sharp shooter!” Lance declared which caused Kieth to roll his eyes as he jumped into battle and Lance kept blasting any mercenaries coming towards him. He then noticed a hanging sign and had an idea he blasted the chain and the sign fell on a mercenaries head knocking him out. 

Pidge found herself surrounded by about three mercenaries armed with swords and axes.

 “Get him he’s only small.” Said a Mercenary as they tried to grab Pidge but she ran forward and slashed away a mercenaries sword with her arrow shaped blade then slid under the other two and fired her grapple line tying them up and giving them an electric shock rendering them unconscious as they fell to the ground. 

“Being small does have its advantages.” Pidge cracked with a smile as her Bayards grapple line retracted. Elsa and Anna were watching the battle transpire and they were still trying to understand what was happening they’d just been saved from being abducted by mercenaries posing as guards, found out the stranger they saved last night had a trick up his sleeve literally and then four strangers appeared to help him against impossible odds and winning, hence why Elsa had yet to use her powers. The other villagers around the battle ground watched as well. 

Mercenaries were being blasted one by one as they tried to attack their target, it was Hunk firing his cannon at incoming mercenaries. He was yelling as he blasted them, one mercenary was able to avoid the blasts but Hunk just whacked him away with his cannon given its weight. Shiro was fighting a group of mercenaries using his own strength and his cyber prosthetic. However as he did he kept seeing the mercenaries as Galra sentries from his time as a prisoner but he brushed it aside as he punched away an incoming mercenary armed with an axe. Another tried to stab him with a sword but Shiro grabbed the sword with his prosthetic hand which glowed with energy, and the mercenary tried pulling it away, but it didn’t move and he was more surprised to see no blood drawing from his opponents hand. 

“I don’t think so.” Shiro said plainly as he crushed the blade with his hand surprising the mercenary  who was shocked and afraid. 

“Wha.. wha… what is that hand made of!” He stuttered Shiro then punched him with his real hand and the mercenary fell to the ground. “Wouldn’t you like to know.” He said simply and he looked around to see the other Paladins were victorious unaware that the leader had escaped on a horse. 

“Well that was fun.” Said Lance in victory. “Man I’m glad you guys showed up when you did.” Shiro thanked.

 “Well its good to see you alive.” Said Kieth putting a hand on his friends shoulder. “Shiro?” breathed a voice and Shiro turned to see Elsa, Anna, Kristof and Sven come out of their hiding spot to see that the five heroes were triumphant. Elsa was still trying to wrap her head around what she’d seen she had seen trolls made of stone but to see these five fight with unfamiliar weapons and have a glowing hand that can crush steel was something new entirely. 

Suddenly the castle guards arrived on the scene and instantly pointed their spears and crossbows at the five Paladins. “Lower your weapons and put your hands up!” Called the captain and the Paladins cautiously raised their hands and Bayard’s.

 “Wait!” Anna called “ They didn’t do this they saved us!” “She’s right they saved her and the Queen.” Called a local.

 “Captain.” Said Elsa as all eyes laid upon her. “These five didn’t kidnap us they came to our defence to save us from them.” She gestured to the defeated mercenaries. “Its true if you want to arrest anyone arrest them.” Added Kristof. The captain took a minute to think, “Lower your weapons.” He ordered and the guards lowered their crossbows and the Paladins lowered their arms.

 “What would you like us to do, your majesty?” Asked the Captain which caught the Paladins attention “Your majesty?” Lance and Hunk breathed. “ I want you to escort these men to the dungeons.” Elsa instructed 

With that the guards rounded up the mercenaries as the Royals and Icemaster, approached the five Paladins “I suppose introductions are in order Shiro.” Elsa asked. 

“Well your majesty these are friends of mine.” Shiro Began “This is Kieth, Lance, Hunk and Pidge.” He gestured to each of his comrades Kristof instantly recognised three of them. 

“OHH its you!” He said “Hey man.” Said Lance.

 “Wait have you met them before?” Anna asked. “Anna these are the guys I was telling you about yesterday.” He said “But I don’t remember this one.” he gestured to Kieth. Anna then looked to Shiro as did her sister. “Sigh’ I know you may have some questions, but perhaps we should discuss it elsewhere.” He suggested. 

“Okay, well lets go back to the castle and talk there.” Elsa suggested, and everyone present nodded “Oh by the way.” Shiro said as he reached back and pulled out Elsas missing shoe. “ You dropped something.” he said then Elsa lifted her dress and realised she was missing a slipper off her left foot making her blush slightly. 

Elsewhere the lead mercenary had just escaped into the dark corners of the woods and as he walked he saw someone wearing a dark cloak walking out of the shadows. The woods was very quiet as the two stood still. 

“I take it you failed hence why the Queen and Princess aren’t before me.” Said the figure. “Forgive me sir but there was a complication.” Answered the lead mercenary. “A complication Koro?” Said the figure angrily “ You and your men are meant to be highly capable assassins and yet you had a complication, what went wrong?” The mercenary named Koro remains silent for a minute but then speaks. 

“ We knew the guards would be trouble but we didn’t account for the Queen and Princess getting help from civilians.” He explained. “CIVILIANS!” The figure growled “you were defeated by CIVILIANS!?” “Sir please these weren’t ordinary civilians they could fight like nothing I’ve seen before and one of them fought like a demon carrying fire in his hand!” Koro defended. 

“I hired you to do a job Koro I expect you and your men to deliver, you shall bring the Queen and Princess before me and I shall finally have what is rightfully mine.” The figure then lowered his hood to reveal it was none other than the former Prince of the Southern Isles, Hans. “ If these people get in the way again, deal with them. “ He stated with a serious scowl on his face.  

End of Chapter 3 folks the next will be the Queen and Princess knowing the amazing story behind their new found friends but it seems a certain Prince is back with a vengeance. Until then Vrepit sa!

[oneweekoneband]

I Won’t Stop Screaming: What Being a Jonas Brothers Fan Taught Me About How the Media Demeans the Interests of Young Women and How That Made Me the Proud Fangirl I Am Today

“With their most ambitious album yet, the JoBros are going for rock credibility. But what happens when the little girls stop screaming?”

That was the subheading of the Jonas Brothers second cover story for Rolling Stone “Boys to Men” that came out in July 2009, weeks after the release of what would become their final album “Lines, Vines, and Trying Times.” My mom bought that issue of Rolling Stone for me— I remember running upstairs to my room, so excited to read it, and my face falling when I opened it up to read that very first line. (Probably the most frustrating thing about that sentence, is that it was written by a female journalist. Internalized misogyny is the fucking worst).

I think about that sentence almost every single day. I’m currently in graduate school, working on my masters in media studies, and focusing on feminist cultural studies. I spend a lot of my time in and out of class actively “un-learning” the misogynistic and patriarchal bullshit that the media subjected me to as a young girl. Reading that Rolling Stone article, at age 15, was when I first started “un-learning.”. I was 15 (almost 16) years old, and I was not a little girl. I was a young woman. I’d, gotten my  period for the first time in history class in 7th grade, I’d just kissed a boy for the first time, and was starting to learn how to drive a car. I had thoughts, opinions, feelings, and passions that were all valid and worthy of respect—but I was never afforded that. The media was telling me my interests were juvenile, trivial and unsophisticated, often implying that I wasn’t even listening to the music, no, I was in love with the boys  because they were cute--their music was just noise. (The narrative “girls are passionate fans of boy bands not because they like the music, but  just because they’re hot and they want to be with them” is problematic, not only because it’s untrue, but also because it erases the existence of any LGBTQ+ female fans).

Even the Jonas Brothers themselves contributed to this “crazy screaming fangirl” narrative with the opening of their 3D concert film. Sure, that opening chase scene is a reference to A Hard Day’s Night, but that’ is not the interpretation you reach first. . No one thinks, “Oh what a clever reference to The Beatles first film,” they think, “look at those crazy girls. In almost every single interview the brothers would be asked about their “craziest fan interaction”, and when they would play a morning show the hosts would often mock the girls who had lined up, sometimes days before, to get in line to see them.

The construction of the fangirl started with Elvis, and then came The Beatles, and so on and so forth. Many of the most popular music acts of all time owe all of their success to screaming girls. Young women are passionate, and dedicated. If a young woman loves a band or an artist she will support it any and every way she can, buying tickets to multiple concerts, buying multiple copies of the CD, buying the album on vinyl, downloading the album from iTunes and streaming the songs on Spotify even though they have all of the things mentioned before. The music industry is still afloat, thanks to fangirls. And still most media continue to frame young women who are fans of a popular male artist or group as hysterical (a word that derives from the Greek word for uterus, and was a common diagnosis male doctors would impose upon women, and now is a gendered silencing technique.) So, why did I have to stop screaming for the Jonas Brothers to become legitimized ? It was girls like me who had gotten them to this point, and now to be cool, they had to shed us? I’m 23 now and, I’ve been asking these same questions of every male band, or artist for the past eight years.

The answer is to not stop screaming, the answer is to get louder. When the Jonas Brothers went on hiatus in 2011, I didn’t have to wait long until another boy band came crashing into my life. This time it was 5 lads from the UK who had just placed third on ‘The X Factor’ and then it was a group of four boys dressed in black from head to toe from Manchester. Instead of shying away from fangirling, I fangirled even harder. ‘Cause you know what? Life gets a lot better when you stop feeling like you need to apologize for the things you love, and you stop thinking that you should be embarrassed, or worried you don’t come across as cool. I screamed even louder, literally and metaphorically, and you know what happened? I found my people. All of my best friends I met and bonded with because we were passionate about the same thing. And in the years since that sentence in Rolling Stone made my heart sink, things have gotten better for us fangirls. Because we decided to get louder. 

When thinking about how powerful and great female fans are I am often reminded of a quote by Matty Healy (frontman of The 1975) that I think sums it up perfectly: “Go and play a show to 2,000 35-year-olds who are kind of into your band, then go and play a show to 5,000 18- to 20-year-olds who … would die for you and then you tell me what you’d rather do every night. There’s no conflict for me.” Seriously, have you been to a concert where theres just a bunch of dudes standing around holding beers and trying seem cool? It’s so miserable, its not fun! But an arena filled with thousands of young women having the time of their lives, singing at the top of their lungs and dancing? It’s magic. Seeing the Jonas Brothers live was the first time I got to be a part of that magic, and I’ll never forget it. So Rolling Stone and other media outlets can continue their fangirl hating nonsense, it’s not gonna stop me, it’s not going to stop us. 

-Bri

[ah17hh]

My 69 favorite copy-pastas... nice via /r/emojipasta

My 69 favorite copy-pastas... nice

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How it chews to gum five feels✨ Gum Gum😍😍 Sense your stimulate😳😩

✨kôœræpįkå✨

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Farting 💨 is🚶 so💇‍♂️ funny🤣releasing 😝 flatulence 😤 is🌙 definitely 🤪 humourous 🙉 it ⛲ releases🧐 endorphins💅in🤤 my😃 brain🧠this🚱 making🤭me✌️laugh🤣

THIS 😌 SCHOOL 🙉 IS 👀 MINE 😡 I 🗿 AM ✨ THE 😍 KING 👑 KOKICHI 🐭 OUMA↪️

I😏will👨🏽‍✈️sacrifice✈️my⚔️own🥄life⚰️for😈Pakistan🇵🇰🍇🔫

chicken 🐓 wing chicken 🐓🐣 wing hotdog and baloney chicken 🐓 and 😈 macaroni chillin ❄❄ with 💘 my 😋😎 homies 🏾

🙅‍♀️ Frick meat lovers 🙅‍♀️😡🚫 All my homies 👯‍♂️ eat the grass 😩 from the central plains 😝😏🌿🌱

I 👈 put 😏 my 🌠😤 😫🧀 right 🏿🙀 👌 foot 👞👣 in 🚪😋 and 😲 🚨🤷 take my right ✔ ✅ foot 👞 out 🅱🤔 🏎 then 😝👱 😥 put 🔥🏻 my 👧 👖🗼 left 🍒 🍒👈 foot in and 🏿✊ shake 🤝🤝 🤝 it 💯😩 all 🥜💯 💯 about. 💦💦

Imagine 💭💡 your 👏 card 💳 declines ⛔👎 at 😂 the 👏💦 tattoo 💉👨‍🎨 shop 🏬 and ➕🍽 they bust 💣🕐 out 💯 the 👏 sand ⛱ paper.. 😳🤦

Rawr🐲🐊 x3😋 nuzzles how are you😉🙂 pounces on you😛 you’re😃 so😄 warm🤒😈 o3o😏 notices😯 you have a bulge🍆 o:😯😮 someone’s happy😃 ;)😉😜 nuzzles your necky wecky😈😗~ murr~ hehehe😊 rubbies👋🤚 your bulgy🍆 wolgy you’re😌 so big😯😮 :oooo rubbies👋🤚 more on your bulgy🍆 wolgy it🚫 doesn’t stop🛑 growing ·///· 😐kisses😚😘 yo

I 👤didn't 🐈 fuck 🤬 my 👽 cat. I 🌸 didn't 👁 cum 💦 on 😳 my 💋cat. 😻 I 🧒 didn't 💋 put 👸 my 🌈 dick 🍆 anywhere 🧚‍♀️ near 🍺 my cat. 😽 I've ❌ never 😡 done 👉👌 anything 🏀 weird 🧘‍♂️ to 🎨 my 🏅cat. 😸

🌽come🌽today🌽and🌽get🌽some🌽Ć̷̭͚̟̱́ö̷̺̻̙͔́̄͑̚͜r̵̢̢̲̖͍̊̏̎̄n̵̡̧̹̥͖͘🌽or🌽we🌽will🌽sacrifice🌽your🌽n̴̡̪̈́̆͝͝ę̵̠̝̣̒́w̷̧͔̓͝ḅ̴̳̍̀͑o̷̯͈͔̽ŕ̷̡͇̦̯́n̷̝̦

my✨vâğîñå💕is🦋named🗿řōńàłð💋and🐬theres😹nothing😼you👋🏽can👁️do👂about🧚‍♀️it

bəąňß✨bəąňß🌞bəąňß⭕️bəąňß👣bəąňß😳bəąňß💕bəąňß❌bəąňß⛽️bəąňß☁bəąňß🥌bəąňß🖲

Ever 😆see 😱 me 👊 fighting 👍🏾in 💖a 🍯Forest🌲with✌🏾a 😠 grizzly🐻Bear? 👄HELP 💔THE😔BEAR💯

ӨЦΛΛΛΛ 🗿 Λ Λ Λ Λ Λ 🗿 ӨЦΛΛΛΛ 🗿 Λ Λ Λ Λ Λ 🗿 ӨЦΛΛΛΛ 🗿 Λ Λ Λ Λ Λ 🗿

oh 😮 geez 🙊 what 😟 a 🧚‍♀️steep 📉 hill 🏞 i👀 sure 🤖 hope 🙏🏼 i 🌱 dont 🚫 drop 💨 my 🤭 beans 🥫 woah 🤯 aragahha 😖 my ☠️ beannns 😫

I 😌 was 🤡 a 🤨 girl 👩 in✨a 🏠 village😑doin🤓alright 😳 then 😵 i 👹 became 👀 a 🧚‍♀️ princess 👑 overnight 😴

the 👄 name 🙈 game 👩 JUDY👾 judy🌶 judy💞bo 🎶 budy 🎵 boanna 💅 fanna💋fo🎂fudy🌈fe🌂

👽⟟⏁⋉⟒👽⟒⋔⍜⊑👽⍀⏃⏁⏃⌿⏃⍀⏃⟒👽⎅⍜⍀⟟⋔⟒👽⏃⋔⎍⋔⎍👽⏃⋔⟒⋏⍜👽⍀⏃⏁⟒⎅⏃⟒👽⌰⏃⏁⟒⟒⎅⏃⟒👽⋔⍜⟒👽⎅⍜⍀⟟⋔⟒👽⏃⋔⟒⋏⍜👽⍜⌰⋔⟒⋏⏃👽⎅⟒⌿⏃⎅⏃⍀⟟👽⏃⋔⟒⋏⍜👽 ⎅⟟⋔⟒⎅⏃⟒👽

säçrįfïćë👹säćrîfįčé👹sáćrįfîčé👹sàčrìfîçë👹 sâćrìfïčê👹sâçrīfïçë👹sâćrìfįčê👹säçrîfįćę👹

yæw 💕 yãêw ✨ yàáw 😻 yaw 👁 yãēw 🗿 yåėw 😬 yąęw 💅 yæ 🚿

this😚is😿the👄best🤪burrito🌯i’ve🤩ever♦️eaten💞yum🔓yum🗿yum😢

I 😳 don’t 💕 see😌 how 👁 you 👽 can🤦‍♂️hate 😜 from🧚‍♀️my ✨ side👄 of 🖤 the😈 club😹 you 🗣 cant👅 even 💅 get 🕴🏽in 💞 💁‍♀️

ÿoú tákë thę mœn🌚ÿøū👁takê thė šüń🌝yōu täkè 𝖾⋁𝖾𝖗𐒦tꜧĺ𝛈𝚐✨thät sèе𝙢Ꚃ lïkè 𝗳𝑢በ😹ÝƯ ştΐṛ〰️ï𝙩 𝐚ʟʟ ƯᎮ án ｗꜧ𝚎ņ🕑ÝỨṛ𝚎 ᵭņ𝚎 ṛᥲԂԂᥲ😝ṛṛᥲԂԂa

Hi, 🤚 you're on a rock 🗿 floating in space. 🌖 pretty cool, 😎👍 huh? 😕❔ some of it's water. 🤽‍♂️ fuck it. 🚮 actually, most of it's water 💦 ⛲ i 😀 can't even 🌒 get 🉐 from here 📍 to there without buying 🛍 a boat. ⛴⚓ it's sad. 🙍 i'm sad. 🙁😭 I miss you.

its 😔 gluten 💡 free 😰 ion 🤬 care 🤖 if its 👎 free 🎁 swear 👁 on ur 👱‍♀️fucking 𝙔𝙀𝙀𝙕𝙔𝙎 ⛸⛸ if you 👤 wanna fight 🤬 we🙎 gon 👄fight 👎🏽you 🦁 tryna 😠 be 🐝 on worldstar ⭐️ what ⁉️ you ✊ gonna 📹 record 🤳 it 🙊 yea 😼 i got🚶‍♂️ my 🙇 dollar 💵 store 🏬 camera 📸 *on* ✅ 𝙒𝙃𝘼𝙏𝙎 👀 𝙏𝙃𝙀 👁𝙁𝙐𝘾𝙆𝙄𝙉 😼 𝙎𝙄𝙏𝙐𝘼𝙏𝙄𝙊𝙉𝙉𝙉 ✨✨the 😼 fuck 🤬 do 👏 you 👿 want ⁉️im ⭐️ the 🚶‍♂️ motherfuckin💎M̸̦͔̜̖̳̼͚̱͚̮͍̱̘̰̲͂̃̚A̴̧̢̮̫̼̟̳̭̩̪̟̾̋́̌̀̔͐͒̔̾͗̚͜͝͝N̴̫̭͇̹̍́̾̿͒̈́́̄̏A̵͚͓̥̿̍͊͛̎̂̀̀͠͠Ǵ̴̖̭̭̺̣̭̺̈́̅̏́̓͜ͅÈ̷́͠R̶̖͈͈͐͜❗️❗️at the 💢 bread 🍞 store ❓𝘽𝙍𝙀𝘼𝘿 tell 🤖 him 🗣 to take 👌 the 😾 motherfuckin 🤡 gluten 😷 𝙤𝙪𝙩 🙅‍♀️ 𝙏𝙃𝙀 𝘽𝙍𝙀𝘼𝘿 🥖 imma 🧚 need 🤚 you 👶 to shut 🔇 that 💪 bullshit 👄 up 👆 chief 💂‍♀️ we 👬 cant 🙅 take 👌 shit out 👾 the 😷 bread 🍞 why❓ put 👿 it in 🤲 in 👁 the 👅 first 1️⃣ place🚪 i 🧑‍🎨 know 🧠 yall 💢 𝙨𝙢𝙤𝙠𝙞𝙣 🚬 that 👉 𝙥𝙖𝙘𝙠 💅

A🌑 duck walked🚤👳🏽 up↪️ to📵 a🍉 lemonade stand And💘 he📮 said🏰👸🏼 to📰 the man,👏🏻 running🐖 the👋🏿💿💕 stand "Hey! (Bum🚵🏼 bum🎓 bum)💦 Got😁 any🕗🆖 grapes?" The👦🏻✔️👲🏼 man⏫ said "No😪 we📂 just🚥 sell🐣 lemonade. But👨‍👨‍👦‍👦📀 it's cold And👧🏾🔣 it's👌 fresh And🔳🌕🚿👆🏾 it's all home-made.🙆🏽🛀 Can🍍 I get🚥📅 you Glass?" The duck said, "I'll👣 pass". Then👃🏻 he waddled👵🏻 away. (Waddle🌂 waddle) 'Til😢👒 the💂🏻😐🙅🏿 very📍 next♊️ day. (Bum bum bum👳🏾😇 bum👮🏿🌜 ba-bada-dum)🕐👮🏽

Shawty’s💖✨like🌟😌a⌛️👑✨melody💞🎀🌟 🪐That💫 I 🌏can't 🌍keep 🌵out 🌟Got 🌟me ✨singin' ⚡️like⚡️ 🔥Na na na na 🔥everyday🌪 It's🌈 like ☀️my 💫iPod ❄️stuck 🏚on 🤠replay, 🤤replay-ay-ay-ay🦁 Shawty's🤤 like 🤖a 🤑melody 😻in 😽my 🤲head🧠 That 🤚I 💢can't 💋keep 💄out👀 Got 🤙me 🙏singin' 🙏like👅 Na na na na 💄everyday💋 ⌚It's 💎like 💪my 📱iPod 👋stuck 👋on 🖖replay, 🤚Deluga 🤘Heights (replay) 🤟Hey ✊🏾over 👏and 🤝over 👐o_O ||if 👁I'm 🆓tipsy🔰 or ♻️sober💯 I 💖got ❤️lil' 💔momma💗 on 💝rewind❣️like the ❤️deck 👥in 😻my 😺Rover 👾On 💀my 🤑mind, 🗿shawty☁ fine, 😯meditate 🤒her 👩 like 🧘‍♀️ 🤒So 🤕down 🤐on 😵the 🙄line 😤make 👉me 👈want 👍🏾a 😈cold 👹soda👺 👻Hey 👽baby 🤡be 🤤my 😈radio 📻 😶Hear👂you ✨ everywhere 😏I 😉go 🙂Music 👩‍❤️‍👨in 😇my 😚head🤪 🤨Know 😋your 🤪melody 🤩in 😔every 😭note😏 Girl 😍you 😍incredible😚 🤪Make 🤩yourself 🗿available😏Na na na na🤪 😘That 🎶tune 😚so 😊exceptional☺️ 😍Smexy 😍like 💗a 😚piano 👸give 💥you ♉️my 👩🏿‍✋ hands 👀if ✊🏾you're 😈ready💀 ✨We 😜can 😀make 🙃plans😚 get🗿 body 😋stand😍 if ✊🏾you let ☄️me😩 Girl I'm a…😳

Shawty 👄 had 👉 them 💯 apple 🍎 bottom 🔽 jeans 👖 boots 👢 with *️⃣ the 🔟 fur 🐈 (with *️⃣ the 🔟 fur 🐈) got 🐲 the 🔟 whole 🙄 club 💒 looking 👀 at ☮️ her 👠 she 💃 hit 👊 the 🔟 floor 🔽 (she 💃 hit 👊 the 🔟 floor 🔽) next 👉 thing ♈️ you 👤 shawty 👄 got 👣 low 🔽 low 🔽 low 🔽 low 🔽 low 🔽 low 🔽 low 🔽low 🔽 them 🦮 baggy 👜 sweatpants 🩳 and ➕ the 👁‍🗨 Reeboks 👟 with ➕ the 🎶 straps ↩️ (with ➕ the 🎶 straps ↩️) she 💃 turned 😛around ↩️ and 👊 gave ✌️ that 👁 big 🥵booty 🍑 a 🌶 smack ✨ she 💃 hit 👊 the 🔟 floor 🔽 (she 💃 hit 👊 the 🔟 floor 🔽) next 👉 thing ♈️ you 👤 shawty 👄 got 👣 low 🔽 low 🔽 low 🔽 low 🔽 low 🔽 low 🔽 low 🔽low 🔽

Today 📅 my 12 😣🕛 year 📅 old 👴 son 👦 and I 👥 walked 🚶 into harvard 👩‍🎓 to sign 🚧 him 👴 up ☝ for college 🚌📚. The dean rudly asked ❓ what a 12 😣🕛 year 🗓 old 👴 was doing signing 🖊 up ⬆ for such a prestigious 🎖🏆 institute like 👍 harvard 👩‍🎓. My son 🙎‍♂️ took 👫 of to reveal 💡 his 🤦 Rick 👨🏻‍🔬 and Morty 😡😵 shirt 👕 and proclaimed "Well 🖕🖕🏻🖕🏿 you 👆 see 👁 sir 🤔 I 👁 watch 👁 Rick 🥒 and Morty 😡😵". A look 👀 of confusion ❓🤔 came 💦 over 😳🙊💦 the deans face 😀 and I 👁 have never 🚫 been so proud 😤. The dean quickly ⚡ made 👉 sure 💯 to appologize to my son 👦 but 👆🍑👀 it was too late 💤, the police 👮‍♂️ rushed 🏃‍♂️ in and dragged him 👨🏾 out. My son 👦 passed 📆 all 🙌 his 🤦 classes 📒 with 4.0s and graduated 🔝 top 🔝 of his 🤦 class 📒 in the first 🥇 day 📅 of college 🏘👱📚.

Number🔢 1️⃣5️⃣: 🅱️urger🍔 Ki🆖🤴 foot👣 lettuce🥗. The last🥉 thing you'd👉 want in👇 your👉 🅱️urger🍔 Ki🆖🤴 🅱️urger🍔 is someone's👤 foot👣 fu🆖us🤢🤮. 🅱️ut🍑 as🍑 it turns↩️ out, that might 🅱️e what you👉 get. A 4️⃣channer🍀👤 uploaded a 🅿️hoto📷📸 🅰️nonymously👤❓ to the site showcasing his🚹 feet👣 in👇 a 🅿️lastic bin🚮 of lettuce🥗🤮. With the statement🗣: "This👇 is the lettuce🥗 you👉 eat 🅰️t 🅱️urger🍔 Ki🆖🤴."😱😱 🅰️dmittedly, he🚹 had shoes👣👟 on. But🍑 that's even🤭 worse😱😷. The 🅿️ost went live at 1️⃣1️⃣:3️⃣8️⃣ PM on July🎆🎇 1️⃣6️⃣, and a mere 2️⃣0️⃣ minutes🕤 later, the 🅱️urger🍔 Ki🆖🤴 in👇 question❓ was 🅰️lerted👂 to the rogue👤 employee👤. At least, I👁 hope he's🚹 rogue. How😨 did it🤔 happen🧐🧐? Well, the 🅱️K🍔🤴 employee👤 hadn't🚫 removed❌ the Exif data🤓 from the uploaded photo📷📸, which suggested👀 the culprit👤 was somewhere in👇 Mayfield Heights, Ohio🇺🇸. This was 🅰️t 1️⃣1️⃣:4️⃣7️⃣. 3️⃣ minutes later🕘 at 1️⃣1️⃣:5️⃣0️⃣, the 🅱️urger🍔 Ki🆖🤴 branch🌳 address📭🏠 was 🅿️osted with wishes🙏 of happy😄😁 unemployment😨😰. 5️⃣ minutes later🕚, the news stati🔛 was contacted🗣📞 🅱️y 🅰️nother 4️⃣channer👤🍀. And 3️⃣ minutes🕒 later, at 1️⃣1️⃣:5️⃣8️⃣, a link was 🅿️osted: 🅱️K's🍔🤴 "Tell us 🆎out us" online🌐 forum. The foot👣 🅿️hoto📷📸, otherwise known as🍑 exhibit 🅰️, was 🅰️ttached. Cleveland🇺🇸 Scene Maga🇺🇸zine contacted🗣☎️ the 🅱️K🍔🤴 in👇 question🤔❓ the next⏩ day🌞. When questioned🤔❓🧐, the breakfast🌞🍽 shift manager🧔 said "Oh, I👁 know😱 who🤔 that is. He's🚹 getti🆖 fired💥🔫🔥." Mystery🧐 solved👍, 🅱️y 4️⃣chan🍀👥. Now we👥 can🛢 all go 🔙 to2️⃣ eati🆖🍽 our fast🏃‍♂️💨 food🍔🍟🥤 in👇 🅿️eace☮️😀😃😁👍.

im 😂 not gonna 😻 show 👈📺 you 🤙 🤖 the 🍁🌷 facts 📚 📚 and 👏👏 💰 the 👑⚕ 🏽 evidence 📰 🔨📃 beacuse im 😂 😂😂 29 fucking ♀😡 🎮 years 📅📅 old 🍆 and 💻 🌬 in 👄📥 not ⚠🤚 gonna ♂ sit down ⬇👇 and ➕👏 💰 make 💰 🖕 a video ♀📹 📹📸 with 👏👈 👩😫 screenshots exposing 👐 👐 my bullies 😎🖕 🖕😎 these 🈴 💁🚟 are 🏾 👏🏼 bullies these 🤤 are 🏿 highschool fucking 🙏 bullies and 🍀 👏📡 they 👥 👈 wanna 🙇❤ come at 😍👸 👅 me ❓ 📩✌ and 👏🍞 🅱🏼 say 😅🚃 ✋ your ⬅ 👏👏 29 years 📅 old how 👏⚖ your 🍆🏻 👉 acting fuck 😤👦 🍆 you 👆 your 🍆 🙄 in 👏 〽 your 😩 fucking 👉🍆 30s almost 😲 👀😲 all 💯 of 💦📆 😤 you 😤 😘👆 attacking ♂ ♂ me 🏿😭 👈 and 👏😵 😭 im 👌 👌 not ♂🚫 saying 🗣😡 a fucking 👉 work 🏢 🔨 to 🙅 💦 anybody and 👏 👏🙏 your 💯👉 going to 💦 👆💰 say 🤐 🏿 im 👀 😂🏻 panting myself 🔪 👩🐱 as the 🔝👏 🕘⚕ victim and 👏💦 im 👌😂 trying 😔 to ask 🤗😩 😥🙋 for 💰👨 attention i 😂👀 have 👏🏋 😤💰 not 🚫🙅 said 💖 😑 a 👌😂 fucking 😛💞 👈 word 🔚🔚 ✊ publicly until 💦 🅱 another 👯👣 video 🎥 📹 was ☠ 💯👏 made 💰😶 👆 about me 😩👤 the 👏 🅱👏 week 📅 ❗😱 i was 👏👏 👏 putting 💯💯 out 💰▶ 🏼🏍 my 👨 fucking EP you 👉💬 😭👧 wanna ❤ 😻🏿 ghost 👻👻 👻👻 the 🕸 internet 🌐💻 for 😎🍆 five 🕔 fucking ➡ months 🏽 and ✝ im 😂 promoting ↗ my 😩 😘 project ↗ like 😏❤ 😄 crazy and 😇👏 ➕👏 your 👏 ☝ gonna 👏🅱 🔥 put 😏 my 👨 name 📛 in your fucking 🎮😫 🖕🍑 thumbnail bringing up ❤✋ a 🅰💰 🏠 fucking 🚟 ➡ dramatic lie 💬❎ ❎😱 a hate 💯💯 campaign that 🦃 🔪 you fucking started 😁 🙄 5 👪 🛐 months ✌📆 🙄🏽 you 🏻👏 dont 😡🙅 👀 post 🏾📌 🗒🙄 but 🤤 💏🍑 im 👌🅱 posting a 💰☝ 💰 project ⬆⬅ ⬅⬆ and 👏👏 you 🤖🅱 have 💪👏 👏 to say 🗣🗣

You 👆 useless 👩🏻 piece 🗿 of shit 💩. You 👆 absolute 💯 waste 😵 of space ⭐⚫ and air 🌬. You 👆 uneducated, ignorant 👌, idiotic 😜 dumb 🤪 swine 🐽😂, you’re an absolute 💯 embarrassment 😣 to humanity 🕴 and all 🤠 life 💓 as a whole 🕳. The magnitude 🔍 of your 👉 failure 👎🏽 just now is so indescribably massive 🐘 that one ☝🏻 hundred 💯 years 📅 into the future 👨🏼 your 👉🏿 name 🏷 will be used ♦ as moniker of evil 😈 for heretics. Even 🌃 if all 💪 of humanity 🕴 put 👏 together 👮‍♂️🐕 their collective intelligence 🧐 there is no 🚫 conceivable way ↕ they could have thought 🤔 up ☝ a way ↕ to fuck 🤬 up ⬆ on the unimaginable scale ⚖ you 👉🏻 just did

How 🤷🏻 ba-a-a-ad 🤡👺👹 can 🛢 I 👉👁👄👁 be? 🐝🐝I'm 💁🏻‍♂️just🤷🏻doin'🙆🏻‍♂️what comes ☀️🌈✨𝓃𝒶𝓉𝓊𝓇𝒶𝓁𝓁𝓎✨🌈☀️How💁🏻‍♂️ba-a-a-ad🤡👺👹can🛢I 👉🤡be? 🐝🐝 I'm💁🏻‍♂️just 🤷🏻following👉➡️➡️my ➡️➡️🎀 𝒹𝑒𝓈𝓉𝒾𝓃𝓎 🎀 How🤷🏻ba-a-a-ad🤡👺👹can🛢I👉🏿be? 🐝🐝 I'm💁🏻‍♂️just🤷🏻doin'🙆🏻‍♂️what comes ☀️🌈✨ 𝓃𝒶𝓉𝓊𝓇𝒶𝓁𝓁𝓎 ✨🌈☀️ How🤷🏻ba-a-a-ad 🤡👺👹 can🛢I👉👹be? 🐝🐝How 🤷🏻💁🏻‍♂️bad🥵👺💁🏻‍♂️can🛢💁🏻‍♂️I 💁🏻‍♂️possibly🙋🏻‍♂️be?💁🏻‍♂️🐝🐝Well, 🤷🏻 there's a principal 💡⏳of nature 🙈🙉🙊(principal of nature) 🗣👥🙋🏻‍♂️🙋🏻‍♀️🙋🏻That almost👌every 🐶🐱🐭🐮 creature🐹🐰🐯🐸 knows💡💡Called survival🏋🏻🤸🏻‍♀️of the fittest💪🏻💪🏾 (survival of the fittest) 🗣👥🙋🏻‍♂️ 🙋🏻‍♀️🙋🏻And check✅it ➡️this is how it goes🚶🏻🚶🏻‍♀️The animal🙈🙉🙊that eats🍌gotta🤼 scratch🏋️and 👄bite 🦁and💪punch🤼And the🐷🐨animal🐥🦇 that doesn't, well the 🐼🦁animal🦉🐙that doesn't, winds🔁 up🆙⬆️Someone else's 💁🏻‍♂️💁🏽‍♂️💁🏿‍♂️🙋🏻🙋🏼🙋🏽🙋🏾‍♀️lu-🍔lu-🥙lu-🌮lu-🥪lunch!🍱(Munch Munch Munch Munch Munch👁👅👁) 🗣👥🙋🏻‍♂️🙋🏻‍♀️🙋🏻I'm just saying'...💁🏻‍♂️

𝓽𝓱𝓮𝓻𝓮𝓼🌙a 🙄𝘣𝘶𝘻𝘻🐝𝘣𝘶𝘻𝘻🤣 ｂｕｚｚ✨ïṅ 😨m̸e̸a̸d̸o̸w̸🤷🏻‍♀️t⃨h⃨e⃨r⃨e⃨s⃨👾ᗩ😈ꌃꀎꁴꁴ💩 🐝乃ㄩ乙乙😂【b】【u】【z】【z】💕 b̆̈ŭ̈z̆̈z̆̈🌹the 😅 ፕዪቿ̂🌳Շɦεɼεร😣a 🤯b̶u̶z̶z̶👽 b̠u̠z̠z̠🤖 ḃu̇żż👻ᏰᏬፚፚ 💀in 👃the😷 ᶠˡᵒʷᵉʳˢ🌺ꅐꏂꋪꏂ😹so 🤟乃ㄩ丂ㄚ🗣 b̑̈ȇ̈ȋ̈n̑̈g̑̈👓᥇ꪊɀɀꪊꪗ🥽b͛e͛e͛z͛ 👁ẇєяє👄ɓմςςψ 🗿ℬUℤℤℐℕᎶ🌿with🐚♭ṳℨℨ♭ḙḙ✺🥓bͦͯuͦͯzͦͯzͦͯbͦͯeͦͯeͦͯ🌍is 🌟b˟˚u˟˚s˟˚y˟˚🎰with 🧠m͙e͙🐽Ᏺᾀᑬᑬẙ😀 as 😉a સଇกกϓ Ъ૯૯🍯 can 🙇‍♂️be🧚🏻 w̤̮e̤̮r̤̮e̤̮🦷βUSΨ😴b̾u̾z̾z̾i̾n̾g̾🤐with 🤡b⃠u⃠z⃠z⃠b⃠e⃠e⃠👺 t̺͆h̺͆e̺͆🎃ṧ✺ℵ🌞!✘a͎l͎w͎a͎y͎s͎🦄s͜͡h͜͡i͜͡n͜͡i͜͡n͜͡g͜͡👨‍🦳🄸🅃🅂🧒great😖t̶o̶😪b͟e͟👐🏻ḁͦl̥ͦi̥ͦv̥ͦe̥ͦ🔪 ሠዘቿክ💄you’re ♭ʊʐʐ😻βUZZ😮ℬʉᏃᏃ🐣乃∪乙乙🥶Ъμｚｚ😸b˟˚u˟˚z˟˚z˟˚i˟˚n˟˚g˟˚🤬ᏜᎥʈ⋆🤧ЪμｚｚЪ૯૯🤔i͓̽n͓̽🚀Ꮖℋℰ👱🏻‍♀️ʰⁱᵛᵉ🍟

I 👁 don't 🚫👎 know 💭 what 😂 I 💰💰 was 👏👏 thinking 🤔 Leaving 🚪🍃 my 👨🌭 child 👾 behind 👟☢ Now 🎅🙅 I suffer 😱😤 the 👏🔝 curse ⛓ Knowing 💭🤔 now 😭🤗 I 🤠 am blind With all 👩😩 this anger, 😡 guilt and sadness Coming 🏻🏃 to 😷 haunt me 👸 forever 🕜 I can't 🔫 wait for the cliff 💦 at 🗽 the end of 💦 the 🦉👑 river Is 😤 this revenge I am seeking Or seeking someone 👥👤 to 💦 avenge me Stuck in 〽👏 my 🏻 own 😎🏻 paradox I 👀👨 wanna ♀ set ➿ myself free Maybe I 😏 should 👑 chase and 👏 find 🔦 Before they'll 👧 try 😐 to 💦 stop ⛔ it 💯 It won't be 🍆💚 long before 🐝🔙 I'll 😩 become 🏽 a 🆒 puppet It's been 🥜 so long 🔨 Since I last have seen 👁 my ♂ son 👦 Lost to 💰 this monster 👹 To 🍅 the 🍁 man ♂ behind the slaughter Since you've been 📹 gone 😠😡 I've been 🚟👦 singing this 🏿 stupid song 🎵🎤 So I 👨 could 👌✊ ponder The 😫 sanity of 💦🔴 your mother I 👟👏 wish 😢😢 I 💯😎 lived in 👉 the 👏😈 present With the 😫👏 gift 🍆 of 🚋🤔 my 💋🤔 past mistakes But the 🌜 future 💞 keeps luring in ❤🍆 like 👏💖 a pack of snakes Your 🙄👉 sweet 🍬 little 🐭 eyes 👀👀 Your 👨👉 little 🏽 smile, ⭐😁 is 💦 all I 🏻 remember Those fuzzy memories mess with 👌 my temper Justification is killing me But killing 🔪 isn't justified What happened 🤔🤔 to 💯♀ my 💝 son, ♂👦 I'm terrified 😲😲 It 😳 lingers in 👇 my 💩💪 mind And 🌰👏 the 🏻 thought 🤔🤔 keeps on getting 💦 bigger I'm 😻 sorry my 👬 sweet 🍬 baby 👦👶 I 👀♂ wish I've 🏾😭 been there 💦✔ It's 😠🍝 been ✊😎 so 😮 long 🕑📏 Since 💦💦 I 🤔🙋 last 🕞❗ have 😑 seen 👀👁 my 😤 son 🏻👦 Lost 🍆 to 💦 this monster 👹👹 To 😉 the 👏👏 man 💂 behind ↩ the 😂🚗 slaughter Since 💦💦 you've been 🤤😎 gone 😭 I've 😠 been 👑 singing 👩 this 💋 stupid song 🎵🎵 So I could 🚫 ponder The sanity of your mother

What the 🅾🔪 fuck 👌🍑 did 🌼 you 👏👉 just 👏 fucking 🏻⚔ say 🗣🎙 about ✨💦 me, you 👧💦 little 🍑😫 bitch? 🐩☘ I'll 💵🤢 have you know 👏 I 💬♀ graduated 💯 top 👚🔼 of my 🖥👌 class 🥇😛 in 🏢 the 👏 Navy Seals, and I've been 🥜💫 involved in ⏳ numerous secret raids 👈👤 on Al-Quaeda, 🍒🅾 and 💰🌈 I 💰👁 have 🎁 over 😈♂ 300 confirmed kills. ☠ I am trained 🏻🏻 in gorilla warfare 💣 and I'm 🚫 the 😱 top 🔝🔼 sniper in the 👩 entire 😂🏼 US armed forces. 🍆 You are 🏃 nothing to 🅱🗝 me but just 👏 another 🔁 target. I 👁👣 will 🅱💰 wipe 🤤 you 😤😑 the 👏 fuck 🏻 out 🍻 with 👏😏 precision the 🌫😫 likes of which 👏 has 👏 never 😤 been 📷👏 seen 👁 before ⬅💰 on 🤤 this 👈 Earth, 🌎🌎 mark ✌ my 👯🕶 fucking ➡👉 words. You ❌❤ think 😠🤔 you 👈 can 💦 get away with 👩👏 saying 💬🗣 that shit 👌👻 to ✌🅱 me over the Internet? 🌐 Think again, fucker. ➡ As 🍑🍑 we 🏼🤝 speak I 👀👈 am contacting 📞👈 my 😽 secret 😱😱 network of spies across 👉 the 📉 USA 💖 and 🥁 your 👉👉 IP is 👉💦 being traced 📈 right ❤ now 👋 so 😴 you better 🤔😚 prepare 👉 for the 👏🎆 storm, maggot. The storm 🌀 that 🍆👏 wipes out the 👌🔥 pathetic 😂👋 little 👩 thing you call 📱 your life. You're 👈 fucking 💯 dead, 🔥😂 kid. 😎👶 I 👁👁 can 💦 be anywhere, anytime, 👉💵 and ♂😫 I 👏 can 🔫🔫 kill 👻🔫 you 😏😏 in ⬅👏 over 😳😈 seven hundred ways, and that's 👆 just with 😉😗 my 👍🆕 bare hands. 👏 Not 👏♀ only 😤 am 👦💦 I 😶 extensively trained 👨🏻 in 💊👇 unarmed combat, 🗡 but I 👩😍 have 😑 access 🔖 to the 👏 entire 👏🙋 arsenal of 👨 the 👍👏 United States 👌 Marine Corps and 📡👏 I will 💦 use it to its full 🈵🌕 extent to wipe your 🏻👏 miserable ass 🍑🍆 off 😡👏 the 👏 face of 💦❤ the continent, 👤 you 👨👈 little 👌 shit. 🎃💖 If 🤥 only you could have known 💫 what 😧 unholy 🙏 retribution your 👏 little 🏼 "clever" comment was about 🎩⭐ to ⚠ bring ➡⬅ down ⬇ upon you, maybe 😿 you ♀ would have 👏 held ✊ your 👈👈 fucking 💯 tongue. 👅 But 🏼 you couldn't, you didn't, 😘 and 💯 now 🎅🔫 you're paying the price, you 🙄🖕 goddamn idiot. I 👁🅱 will 😘 shit 👌 fury 😡😡 all over you 🤓👉 and 💰 you will 👏 drown in it. You're 😊🤖 fucking dead, kiddo. 🔥💲

Submitted September 18, 2020 at 11:56AM by Putins-Uncle via reddit https://ift.tt/2RESOdY

[refractedglade]

do all of them. or the odds. or the evens. honestly just do some I'm tired and dont feel like reading through them all :/

this is honestly a lot so it gets a cut. also wow way to abuse the question ask.

1. do you have any recurring dreams? what are they?

only ever had one I think, and that was back in… probably elementary school? I had monthly nightmares thanks to one of the least frightening episodes of Courage the Cowardly Dog, god bless you young me you tried your best

2. what is your favourite kind of fruit?

im torn between grapes and apples

3. sweet or savoury?

savory

4. what is your smallest/pettiest fear? 

not even sure what the hell that means uhhhhhhhh

the fear that i am or will be mediocre at video games. it sounds dumb but at this point it’s one of the only quote-unquote skills I have that I can identify and im afraid to lose that

5. what is your least favourite vegetable?

peas

6. what is your favourite art movement?

surrealism I guess? I don’t know much about art movements tbh

7. do you drink milk?

fuck yes i do

8. what was the last line of the last book you read?

“A mob of Surly Thugs are there to greet you.

TO BE EVEN MORE CONTINUED.”

9. do you like bitter food?

not really

10. what is the most significant event in your life so far?

probably one of the several times i’ve moved since that always leads to meeting new people

12. what is your favourite breed of dog or cat?

I love labradors.

13. list your top 5 favourite turtle names.

what

uh

Leonardo

Donatello

Michelangelo

Raphael

and uhhhhhhh

Coco Jumbo

14. what job would you have if you could have it without going through all of the school or experience that is required?

if I didnt have that Id probably get fired very soon for being shit at my job, but lets say public attorney, see how far I get in that bullshit

15. are there any names that you dislike so much that you would dislike the person with the name? what are those names?

no not really

16. what is your favourite letter?

either R or T, they’re both such helpful shortcuts for web browsing

17. are there any instruments you wished you played?

I wish I had continued learning piano when I was younger. I was in the middle of lessons when we moved for the second time and we just never got another teacher.

18. list your best friends.

@verbalmoonwalking and honestly even though we haven’t talked much in forever @wombathills

19. would you rather be a skeleton or a ghost?

a ghost, way more opportunities and less of a hassle (imagine trying to navigate through the world as reanimated bones)

also there’s already some people i’ve promised to haunt

20. do you prefer fish or lizards/snakes? (as pets)

i dont have much experience with lizards or snakes (although I did have an anole for a year or so). i guess fish, they’re just so incredibly low-maintenance

21. art or music?

weird way to phrase that considering music is art but music

22. what is your favourite type of flower?

unfortunately Ive never learned much about flowers, but I do really like when they’re blue

23. soup or salad?

souuuuup

24. are you good at keeping plants alive?

surprisingly yes! I’ve had two plants growing since late winter/early spring I think

25. do animals tend to like you?

heck yeaaaah

26. what is the worst book you’ve ever read?

the Book of Leviticus

there’s not really a good answer to this, if a book is terrible I either never got far enough to remember or read it for a school assignment and promptly forgot about it

27. do you collect anything?

too many thing, and most of them only for short periods of time. the only consistent collection i have is my Halley Labs music collection

28. how many pillows do you sleep with?

right now just two, used to be three

29. whats the latest you’ve ever woken up?

5 in the evening i think? I forget details since its been a few years, but after an all-nighter I pulled during my first finals of college I passed out at around 6 pm and woke up almost a full day later

no wait addendum: i think like 1-3 in the morning because of falling asleep around 8-11 am.

30. how many pictures are on your walls?

my room has… a painting and a poster

31. what age did you stop keeping stuffed animals on your bed?

honestly? i didn’t

32. what is your favourite candy?

Butterfinger, or if in moderation Twizzlers

33. what is your favourite baked good?

its not the real answer but a vivid image of a steaming baked potato keeps appearing in my head

actually the more i think about it the better that sounds, like its plain but theres a lot of room for customization there

34. do you have a camera? if so, what kind?

yeah, i actually sort of inherited it recently from my late grandfather, though I haven’t actually,,, used it yet.

35. do you wear jewelry?

nope, used to wear a fidget ring a lot but who knows where that went. if i ever find a really cool necklace I’ll probably start wearing that all the time though.

36. sunrise or sunset?

sunset, sunrises are pretty but its a pain in the ass waking up the early

also seeing something like that in the evening is just a better state of mind imo

37. do you like to listen to music with headphones or no headphones?

depends on both the music and my mood, generally at this point no headphones though just because when i listen to music its while driving

38. what was your favourite show as a child?

I had a weird sense of almost reverence for Digimon as a kid. My mom had forbidden me from watching Pokemon, and I only ever saw like 3 episode of DIgimon once by accident because a day care had their cassette tape. I barely saw any of it but I loved it.

Season 3 aka DIgimon Tamers is still a solid series, and I still vividly remember watching season 4 on TV when I was slightly older and finding it weird but cool (4 was where they could actually like combine with their digimon)

39. describe your favourite spot in your house.

im the basement goblin so the couch down there is for all intents and purposes mine. also its right next to the room with the heater so hell yeah.

40. do you like to be warm or cold?

I like to be in slightly cold environments so I can be the kind of warm that isn’t just warm but warmed up, like the feeling of being warm when things are cold is very good.

41. the best joke you have.

i think the best jokes i ever did done was editing like 20 different photos of a friend of mine into dumb joke images

one was his face on a tube of laundry soap with some dumb caption along the lines of “ah, this is my life now”

42. whats the weirdest thing that you’ve seen happen in a public place?

first thing that comes to mind is a futon frame on the side of a highway. now let me clarify:

-it was sitting upright, not like it had been tossed aside

-it was on the INSIDE side, not the outside

-no mattress in sight

just… there.

43. CD or digital?

CD, I’ve been conditioned to love owning physical copies of stuff. On that note, also cassette.

44. who do you miss right now?

good friends, my dog, my will to live….

45. if you could combine two places in the world, which two places would you choose?

if by world you meant universe, lets combine earth with some other planet and see what the fuck happens

if you meant earth then Michigan and Ohio, that’d make some shit way more convenient for me

46. describe the worst substitute teacher you’ve ever had.

one of my high school english teachers went on maternity leave, and so we had a sub for about ¾ of the school year. i forget a lot of why the class hated her but a lot of it just came down to she was not good at teaching, and we had to deal with that for almost a whole year.

47. do you believe horoscopes?

short answer is no. less short answer is that while I don’t really believe anything like that, i still enjoy looking at and considering them, especially when they’re in shitpost format.

my sister came back from a mission trip to Africa a while ago and brought me back a small gift she got overseas, a pair of small handmade dice. i’ve developed a habit where on some mornings I’ll roll them before my day starts to see how high I roll, and sometimes interpret that as what the day might be like. do i believe it? not especially. but I almost sort of pretend to believe it. that’s sort of how i treat horoscopes, except even a little less than that.

48. are you spiritual?

eh

49. describe your pets ( or family if you dont have pets )

we had an extremely good dog named Zeus for a long time. yellow lab, energetic as hell in his youth and even in his old age. started having pain in his legs as he got older and eventually we had to put him down a year or so back.

he’s honestly part of the reason im not sure about getting pets in the future, i dont know if I want to go through that again.

50. are you good at getting over mistakes?

I guess? I mean I’m good at getting over that post-”I fucked up” anxiety for sure, that’s a skill I learned in college within like a year. After a bad test or something I just started forcing myself to say “fuck it it’s over can’t change anything now.”

[pepperpaprika]

S3 Squeeing

Under the cut, mostly nonsense. :’D I’ll do a proper review once I digest it maybe!

First watch, no subtitles, GO.

(I’m sorry about name spellings)

EPISODE 1: 

huh they still have the same opening.

KEITH IS SO SAD

ah yes the zarkon shiro moaning

NO KEITH DONT DO THE WOBBLY EYES

ahhh i forgot the robovoiceover thing the bom have need to add.

skirts seem to be a status symbol with galra.

NINJA RUN OMFG.

oooh nice torpedo, hunk!

omfg an actual parade.

WAIT WAS IT KOLIVAN SAYING "IM SORRY KEITH" earlier??

pooegian? aw cute name. im seriously getting avatar flashbacks tho.

planet keffron, feathery ears

freedom fighters.

intergalactic fashion pirate coran- YES

lance is all about the glory lmao

OMG ALLURA NO- LOOK AT THAT SHOCK.

you can tell they ALL know they stepped on keiths landmine.

Commander Thrak --OH NO THEY ARE HIDING ZARKONS ILLNESS.

this guy is hunched.... OMG SHES A CHAMELEON.

LOL KOLIVAN IS AT THE HEAD

galra empire is most massive... it seems like it could rule another ten thousand years.

LOL KEITH. SO ANGERY.

poor boy.

oh hey pizza roll and pig in a blanket.

LOTOR a;lskdas;klj -Exiled prince -halfbreed at best, no honor -generals can fight for the throne -fighting beside your forces is considered lowly.

omfg. OMFG. LOTOR IS PRETTIER THAN I THOUGHT.

OMFG WHERE DID THEY COME FROM

YEAH GROWL BB

alskdjaskdjaskldj;asjkd;lasjkd;laslk;jdlasjk;dklajsd HES SHORT

LOL NICE PUNCH

Your own agression is your undoing.

oh he was expecting to be killed wasnt he.

arena is to the death confirmed.... so how did that robeast survive.

as;ldkjasdkjasd HEY THEY HAVE GEMS ON THEIR GLOVES/HANDS.

DONT TURN YOUR BACK ON A BLOODTHIRSTY GENERAL LOTOR PLS.

I mean sure theres an audience but still.

oh wow that guy has wolverine hands.

pet the kitty

let him rot with the ice worms~

LOL theyre all looking at lance... i guess they agreed beforehand.

EPISODE 2

nice seaside mediterranean city

is that an elephant?

whoah chameleon girls antenna is super long.

HOW DID THEY LAND GENTLY. oh i see... hmn ita racial.

whoah. she strong.

oh my god. HES THERE.

well i like how chameleon girl is like ty lee

LOL how allura chose the colors.

LOL SAME KEEF.

BLACK LION LOOKS SO SAD ON ITS SIDE. /CRAI

aw ladies first.

LOL PIDGE. lajkasdjasl;kdj

NOT IT. YES HUNK.YOU DIDNT EVEN TRY.

I LOVE IT HUNK.

PIDGGGGE

30 mins of lance sitting in the lion.

but im not you. i cant beat them like you.

PLEASE NO. OMG

LOL LANCES FACE. SO DISAPPOINTED.

I DONT ACCEPT THIS.

OMG SHES PLAYING WITH THE CAT

"no black lion"

oh. shes part snake not lizard?  DID SHE HYPNOTIZE HIM

THIS ONES FOR YOU SHIRO.

oh. they have warp technology.

Lancey Lance. JUST A PHASE. lmaooooo. HIS BEST LINE.

controls dont respond like the red lions.... hmm..

KEITH PROLLY TRAINED IT TO BITE MY HEAD OFF.

Allurance shoulder touch. well I didnt see that coming.

YEAH ALLURA.

There's something different about that lion... its pilot isnt in control.

lol keith thanks coran but not lance. I mean its not his fault this time, technically.

BE CAREFUL WITH RED.

weve seen enough, retreat.

LOL zarkon has a son allura: deeply disturbing.

LANCE STOP TALKING LIKE YOURE GONNA LEAVE HER FOR GOOD.

FALLEN WARRIORS.. AND SHIRO.

"I'm glad it was you."

OMG KEITH.

Episode 3

lol keith no. NOT EVERYONE CAN FLY A THING IN TWO MINS OK.

LOTOR WANTS TO KNOW MORE INFO

fkljas;kdfsaklj YES GO ONE ON ONE

LANCE WHY

omg. OF COURSE HES GOOD AT FLYING. OF COURSE.

DOES THIS THING HAVE BREAKS.

lol yes this was gonna suck from the start.

LOL GARRISON TRIO

GREAT LEADERSHIP KEITH FFFFFT

man this is a trainwreck.

oh man theyre not gonna be able to form are they.

LOL

LOTOR CAN SEE YOU

How disappointing... indeed, Lotor.

oh no keith playing straight into his hands.

nice planet tho.

omg. NOOOO KEEF NO.

huh Hunk has been really careful of allura huh :o its kinda interesting that hes the one who woories about her most... ope theres lance

'its not about the team its about the mission" - very telling.

lol he looks like orochimaru in that helmet, lotor.

generals call him lotor. interesting

LOL THAT SPLAT

alkdjasdkjsa NOOOO

oh no hes gonna capture allura first.

WHY ARENT THE LIONS GUIDING THEM?

ohhh no she dropped into the abyss.

aw shes super scared.

lol yes keith you followed him into his trap.

"oh em gee"

WHAT WOULD LANCE DO

laskdjasldjkaskjdjskjsadfjkljksdla

ALLURA WHY OMG. PARTICLE BARRIER.

abbb ok she must want to be guided. makes sense.

d;alsjdasl IM GLAD WERE ALL MAKING FUN OF LANCE looool.

ahhh there we go 3 eps in before voltron can be formed.

HUNK IM A LEG pretty cool right. IMMORTAL WORDS.

EPISODE 4

lol allura you were never gonna be the last alteans alive unless youre a lot worse at shapeshifting than you thought.

I love this science talk.

DONT GO INTO THE LIGHT.

oh its a wormhole.

ahah a time capsule ship of alteans. Nice.

Orrr not.

whoah lots of arms on that one. IS IT SLAV.

wheres slav anyway.

bom?

ALdaslk;djAS:LKdjasdljOMFG

OMFG.

YES IT IS SLAV AND SHIRO. SVEN.

aldfjlkqwlk;jehs ITS THE ACCENT.

"I MAY BE CRAZY"Nice slav.

ldjasd;lkj LOL LANCE HAS RED GUN.

"OH THATS HIM"

;ldkaslkak I LOVE ITTTTT

ALTEANS ARE EVIL. YES.

EMPRESS

WHAT IS THAT BEHIND THEM A YUPPER.

NO DONT HELP THE EVIL ALTEANS PIDGE.

its nice that all the new chars are girls.

alkjd;askdjasjkl;d I CANT EVERY TIME SVEN TALKS.

Moxus hmn. OMG BRAINWASHING. ALTEAN BRAINWASHING.

preservation of life. is the highest prioirty.. interesting...

YOOHOO UP HERE.

I love how sven has a mullet.

GUNS OF GAMORA.

Voltron can travel between realities. I love this plot device.

ohhhh no. oh nooo. shes doing it WHY ARE YOU SO BLIND.

awww the mice are so SAD.

i cant stop laughing whenever i see Sven.

ASLkdjaskld;jasjdkl THIS IS THE REALITY WHERE EVERYTTHING WORKS OUT FINE.

DOGPILE

I LOVE ITTTT.

;lkvsdf;aldkas;lkd LOL SVEN SVEEEN. lol shance with sven?

DOES HE DO THIS IN EVERY REALITY.

I LOVE THIS REALITY TOO SLAV.

NOOO DONT TAKE IT TO LOTOR. though thats probably needed to make a comparable weapon to voltron.

DESTROY IT

welp.

EPISODE 5

alk;sdjaskj SHIRO

SHOW ME THAT LONG HAIR BABY.

oh wait this is a dream isn't it.

whoah. such hair.

HOBO SHIRO

wtfffff is happeniiing. STAGE 3??

wow the animation quality went up tho.

YOU BE THAT AMERICAN NINJA SHIRO

hmm thigh wound.

anime snow...

aw haggar, its ok.

Yep thigh wound. Niiiiice legs. oh nooo.shiro.

interesting. an oasis of warmth. ohhhh NO NOO NO. GET AWAY.

TENTACLES.

WHAT IS THIS OTHER ALIEN.

lol shiros face. he's so done.

but somethings not adding up.

why was he allowed free?

eiii the return of the term "years"

IDK WHAT IT IS BUT HOBO SHIRO LOOKS SO MUCH BETTER RENDERED SOMEHOW? LIKE AN OVA?

lol yes why dint they GO WITH HIM.

but how did his hair get so long??

ALTERNATE REALITY?

VOLTRON.YES SHIRO. AH HES TOO FAST FOR ME.

oh. THAT ARM.

Lotor is on bad terms Haggar. I AM THE LEADER BUT I AM NOT MY FATHER.

holy shit that arm looks like shiros arm.

OH NO SHIROOO.

alksdjasjd OMG MEMORIES.

BLACK SAVE HIM. SAVE HIIIM.

NOODLES.

EPISODE 6

LANCE LIKE WHIPS. OF COURSE HE DOES.

WHERES SHIRO.

oh new white undershirt.

KEITH JUST TALKING TO SHIRO IN THE DARK IN HIS ROOM.

"they need you you know." Keith talking about himself.

AS MANY TIMES AS IT TAKES TO SAVE YOU SHIRO.

oh. SHORT SLEEVES.

oomg. omg.

I LOVE THE GEEK TALK.

...OH NO

HEY MAN.

SOLID MATH LOL.

Leave the math to pidge. LOL. solid advice.

HUNK BUTT WIGGLE.

LOL keith defers ofc.

THE HAIR IS ALL WROOONG. ITS GOING THE WRONG WAY.

oh no.

THIS MAY BE THE WORST POST IN THE GALRA EMPIRE BUT ITS MY POST. VICTORY OR DEATH. I LOVE YOU FOR THAT THROK.

oh its lotors guards.

???

OMG. OH NO. TELEDUV.

ohh no. SHEITH FIGHT.

lol they believe shiro ofc.

oh so it IS her.

OH YEAH AMBIDEXTROUS KEITH.

aw yes allura grab lances scruff.

ohhh no. this is a rift.

lotors brains vs shiros brains. hmn.

NICE KEITH.

ooooh no.

I wonder if Throk is still alive and can snitch.

Shoulder touch.

SOFT LOOK. The black lion has chosen you.

landing codes? what? whoa lotor. SO THAT PLAN WAS TO SET UP THROK? HES THAT PETTY??

episode 7

IS THAT HAGGAR?THE BLUE PALADIN??

ORIGINAL VOLTRON PALADINS

OH DEAR.

LOL ZARKON HAS A MACE. OR A HAMMER.

MORE KNOWLEDGEABLE AS AN ALCHEMIST THAN A SOLDIER

BEAR ALIEN

ERODES DISCIPLINE.

QUEENS AND KINGS NICE.

alluras already old there huh

and lions are super recent.

omg. ZARKON IS AFRAID OF CATS.

Minerva? Onerva?

OH ALLURA IS A BABY. THATWAS HER MOM SHES A PERFECT COPY.

HES MARRIED TO AN ALTEAN.

oh ships vs clean energy.

OH NO ITS SENTIENT.

why does she sound so dead???

WHY ARE THE LIONS ALL BANGED UP THEYRE SUPPOSED TO BE NEW??

also zarkon used to be so small

GALRA HAVE PUPILS

so blue lions are flirts. hmn.

IS THAT A LIL KITTY NOSE ON THEIR HELMETS?

THE SQUAD. THEYRE SO CUTE.

LOL LEG.

waiiit. WHY DOES KEITH STILL PUSH HIS BAYARD IN FOR FORM SWORD??

isnt it with lance now??

live foreverrr.

Enerva is Haggar??

ohhh thats why his eyes are pink. SO THISIS THE BIRTH OF DRUID MAGIC, THE PARTICLES.

....THATS IT??

[midnightliar]

the beautiful, luminous, inimitable @violaeade​ tagged me for 50 book questions!

1. What is your favourite book and/or book series of all time?

oh maybe everything leads to you by nina lacour! it just really gets to me

2. What is the longest book you have ever read? How many pages?

uhh idk what’s the longest harry potter book bc probably that? i dont... read books that long usually

3. What is the oldest book you have ever read? (Based on its written date)

ummm i think and then there were none by agatha christie? i dont keep track by time tbh but i dont read that many old books bc i tend to have trouble reading them

4. What is a book series that everyone else loves but you do not?

the raven cycle lol

5. What book or book series would you like to see turned into a film/ TV series?

oh god most of them? 99% of the lesbian ones for sure. percy jackson would make an excellent animated movie series imo. i’m clearly biased but tasu/teota would be great on screen. 

6. What is your favourite stand-alone book?

most of the gay ones i read are standalones and theres so many good ones... i already said everything leads to you but we are okay and you know me well are also extremely good! of fire and stars killed me as well. 

7. What is a book that you feel glad for not reading?

god. straight ones? ones that i heard are racist or homo/lesbo/bi/transphobic, but in general i’m picky abt what i read bc i don’t read that many books.

8. What is a book that you feel guilty for not reading?

i was gonna say i don’t feel guilty about not reading books i don’t like/don’t want to but that’s a lie- babe if ur reading this i am SO sorry i never finished the last chaos walking book

9. What is a book you have read that is set in your country of birth?

most of them lol that’s what i get for living in america. i read we are okay pretty recently which takes place in new york, the state i was born in, so that’s a bit more specific.

10. What is a book that you own more than one copy of?

i have 2 copies of redwall for no reason other than my high school library was selling one for a dollar so i bought it even tho i had it already. i have a couple copies of some of the a wrinkle in time books bc i got some of them as gifts a bunch. 

11. What horror book made you really scared?

omg i don’t read horror but that one skulduggery pleasant short story about bubba moon or whatever freaked me the fuck out tbh

12. What book do you passionately hate?

um i haven’t read enough terrible books to say i hate them that passionately? but i rly kinda hated trc. oh yeah i read the first c*aptive pr*nce book in hs on the recommendation of a friend and it just made me so uncomfortable the entire time i really. did not have a good time with that one and i wish i hadn’t read it

13. What is the biggest book series you have read? How many books are in it?

skulduggery pleasant! theres 9 books plus short stories i still can’t believe i read all those

14. What book gives you happy memories?

aw sabrina answered this with the flywheel by erin gough and i have to say the same bc she sent it to me for my birthday, full of annotations of thoughts and jokes she made herself AND got it signed by the author, and i’ve uhhhh never felt so loved in my life

15. What book made you cry?

oh the book thief for sure. everything leads to you made me cry a bunch while rereading it even tho its not sad? thos were love tears. that happens a lot actually.

16. What book made you laugh?

skulduggery pleasant! there’s so many good lines in that one. my dad used to always hand me a book he’d just read and tell me to read a certain chapter he found hilarious but i never read the whole book but he always found hilarious memoirs too.

17. What is your favourite book that contains an LGBTQ+ character?

lmaoo like all the books i read are gay? the abyss surrounds us/the edge of the abyss have really unique lesbian characters because they’re so angry and vindictive and dumb and interesting and DRAMATIC so that one gets a shout out

18. Have you read a book with a male protagonist? What is it?

what the fuck is that (ok i legit just finished reading when the moon was ours by anna marie mclemore tho bc my gf rec’d it and it was p good)

19. Have you read a book set on another planet? What is it?

does fantasy count? bc then of fire and stars. uhh chaos walking is on a new planet. a wrinkle in time involves other planets too! wow i’m crushing this one

20. Have you ever been glad to not finish a series? Which?

the raven cycle lol i thought it was a finished trilogy when i started the first book so i just never read the last one and i am so relieved

21. Have you ever read a book series because you were pressured?

not really? i don’t really feel pressure, i value recommendations from my girlfriend friends way more than things that are trending or popular. i’ve read a couple that i blindly picked from internet lists that i didn’t care for tho but that was really a while ago

22. What famous author have you not read any books by?

pretty much any author we were supposed to read in high school. any classic or even modern famous author i probably haven’t read. i’ve read like a dozen books ever

23. Who is your favourite author of all time?

tbh nina lacour is really up there. when i was really young it was definitely gail carson levine. i rly loved anne ursu’s books as well.

24. How many bookshelves do you own?

only one! and a bunch of boxes that i never unpacked after we moved like 3 years ago. my mom wants to put a big wall bookshelf in our house somewhere bc this one didn’t come with any like our last house did but who knows if that’ll happen.

25. How many books do you own?

are u trying to make me count?

26. What is your favourite non-fiction book?

ohhh i don’t read much of this genre. i always avoided it as a kid and i’ve been meaning to get into it more but i haven’t yet. i’m really looking forward to reading a sally ride biography tho

27. What is your favourite children’s/middle-grade book?

the chronus chronicles by anne ursu were my JAM in elementary/middle school omg. i also really loved the may bird series which i didn’t read until high school.

28. What is your next book on your TBR?

i’m about to start georgia peaches and other forbidden fruit finally! my gf bought me 10 things i can see from here and i love her so whenever that arrive i’m probably gonna devour that. i want to reread a wrinkle in time soon since the trailer comes out this weekend! plus a million others

29. What book are you currently reading?

i literally just finished when the moon was ours which felt like it took me ten years to read and i haven’t started another yet but it’ll be georgia peaches bc thats the other one i got from the library and i already had to renew them haha

30. What book are you planning on buying next?

um this old west lesbian novel called backwards to oregon! i’ve been craving westerns lately but as always i’m also craving gay content

31. What was the cheapest book you bought?

i used to buy a ton of old paperbacks, usually goofy looking sf or fantasy novels from library sales for dollars or quarters so definitely those.

32. What was the most expensive book you bought?

i can tell u the most expensive book i got for free was a beautiful bound collection of hg wells stories that i just got from some book at bea before it was bookcon lol

ones i actually paid for... do art books count??

33. What is a book you read after seeing the movie/ TV series?

nah i usually have no intention of reading the book if i watched the show/movie first

34. What is the newest book you have bought?

akdjghksjgh a lesbian western novella called from the boots up for a few bucks on kindle

35. What three books are you most looking forward to reading this year?

the rest of the gay books i’ve bought but haven’t read yet! not your sidekick and labyrinth lost, i’m VERY excited to reread a wrinkle in time and i also really want to read stone butch blues

36. What is a book you love that has a terrible trope? (Love triangle, etc)

crush by sr silcox has the cutest lesbian teen summer romance AND one them is secretly a rock star avoiding her fame bc her controlling dad was turning into HIS dream instead of HERS akdjghksdjgh its fantastic i adored it

37. Have you read a book in a different language? What was it?

oh no i’m dumb as hell

38. What is a book you’ve read that is set in a time period before you were born?

for some reason dave at night by gail carson levine popped into my head first? that was my favorite as a kid and i reread it all the time and i think it took place in the 20s or 30s with all that good good jazz shit

39. What book offended you?

hm not sure how to answer this one

40. What is the weirdest book you have read?

idk the may bird series was pretty weird. gone by michael grant? i read the first for a high school book club and i just could not get into it or understand it even a little

41. What is your favourite duology?

ditty the abyss surrounds us & the edge of the abyss !!

42. What is your favourite trilogy?

wow i really haven’t read that many trilogies esp ones i loved. i guess may bird or the chronus chronicles then!

43. What book did you buy because of its cover?

the maze runner! also bc i heard it was good but i hated that book so

44. What is a book that you love, but has a terrible cover?

honestly i can’t think of one rn

45. Do you own a poetry anthology? What is your favourite poem from it?

nope! i also hated poetry as a kid and have only tried to get into it recently. i have a book of sappho’s fragments and i want to get tracy k smith from the library but thats about it

46. Do you own any colouring books based off other books?

nope

47. Do you own any historical fiction?

thats possible

48. What book made you angry?

the maze runner really did?? for some reason and i don’t get mad that much but it just really had me steamin. sabrina also said grasshopper jungle and i’m inclined to say same lmao. i haven’t read it but seeing all the lesbophobia in not otherwise specified recently made me really mad and also upset

49. What book has inspired you?

aw inspired is a serious word to throw around. the miseducation of cameron post, idk if it “inspired” me but it was my first lesbian novel and that really did a lot for me.

50. What book got you into reading?

i think it was a wrinkle in time! or maybe roald dahl books before that, but a wrinkle in time was definitely up there, and maybe the shadow thieves by anne ursu

i’m tagging @reading-takes-you-places and @mywomensworld and anyone who wants to! i don’t talk to many people here but if you follow me and want to, go for it!

[aicosu]

Hey guys! I wanted to know how was the fifty shades darker movie? Was it decent or was it really bad like some people are saying?

Omfg.

I actually have intense complicated thoughts on Fifty Shades.I’ve been obsessed with the rise and fall story of Fifty Shades, mostly because I’m a fanfiction writer myself and super - SUPER fucking familiar with the community and it’s inner workings. LONG POST AHEAD. 

The tale of HOW and WHY Fifty Shades even hit bestseller is amazing. AD I SEE IT HAPPEN EVERYDAY ON AO3. Like, keeping your fanfic chapters to a couple thosand words, updating weekly, and commenting on comments for your fic to up the comment count (something I refuse to do for this very reason) is a VIABLE method to staying on the top list of any fandom on any fanfic hosting website. Even if you only have the same 10 people commenting on your fic, fic you comment back, 20 comments per chapter nad have 60 chapters? Thats 1200 comments! FUCKING INSANE. I see it everyday. I think every fanfic reader/writer knows that ONE STORY thats ALWAYS on top, for this reason alone, even when (JUST LIKE EL JAMES) the writing is horrendous. 

So! When I researched all of this once the book was released and had all that controversy about BDSM I was both suprised, impressed and horrified. Suprised that a fanfic had even MADE it this far. Impressed because, you got to give the girl kudos. Having her original fanfic readers comment and rate her book on amazon with copy pasta reviews and skyrocketing her to #1 is ingenious. It is, from a marketing stand point its amazing. And of course, I was horrified and dissapointed that with all the fanfics out there, it had to be this one. Not only was the writing terrible, but its a terrible terrible representation of the bdsm culture and community. 

Do not misunderstand me; The Fifty Shades books are horribly written and super problematic. 

The Movies: 

Okay so, I’m a huge film buff. Huge. I took film history and cinematic storytelling in college and I love analyzing movies. 

From a director and writer and cinematographers standpoint, I was literally curious about HOW THE FUCK YOU EVEN FILM THIS MOVIE?? Like, will they have exposition of her ‘INNER GODDESS’ like some odd edgar wright cut aways to a Lizzie McQuire type Anastasia steel!?!? WILL THEY ACTUALLY FILM HIM RIPPING OUT HER TAMPON TO FUCK HER?? (this happens in the book) LIke I needed to know. I had to know. SO I had to see the first movie. I was too curious. AND I wanted to see a legit, from my generation, written fanfiction, adapated for film. Its too groundbreaking, even if you have problems with the story and films how is that not fascinating. 

After watching it this is what I got (I did not pay for this movie btw.) 

EVERY FANFICTION I EVER READ EVER ALL ROLLED UP INTO ONE META MINDFUCK. Like!??? I have almost a keen adoration for how WEIRD it is to see ON SCREEN lines like “Your biting your lip.” LIKE – thats fanfiction from 2005, the lip bite. The FUCKING. Dialogue of this movie is like a collection of all the terrible coffee shop aus, high school, fanfic soap opera craziness. Or how he just bumps into her at her work and shit!? OR the fanfic issue of a 20-something yr old interviewing the SUPER HOT hotshot bachelor who has tons of money because….why? WHAT DOES HE DO? In fanfic it doesnt matter but in the movie THEY NEVER ADDRESS THIS EITHER> 

I MEAN its literally that FIC. The one where theres nothing left of your ship you havent consumed, and this one aint so great but eh its 4am on a tuesday and it has 45 chapters. 

I HIGHLY HIGHLY recommend any writer or reader to watch this film just for the weird TRIP it is. It freaks me out mann its nuts! 

The movie literally breaks hundreds of Cinematic rules JUST TO tell the story because its source material is what it is. Theres no introduction to the protagnist, no side introduction to our love interest like a rom con always does and the Meet Cute is isn’t a meet cute, it plays like a PROMPT. And its in the first 3 minutes of the film. 

And the Twilight source the fic hangs on can be seen there on screen. Seattle, him saving her from the bike/car, his big rich family compared to her remarried mom (to a golfer not a baseball guy), and her estranged dad whose never around, the weirdness of Christian Grey thats missing that can only be explained by -immortal vampire-. Its insane. They didn’t change any of it. You can see Twilight right there its hilarious. 

AND BECAUSE ITS FIC, theres actually, surprisingly, some really good moments? Its few and far between, but I find the bar scene generally funny and charming. Anastasia anyway. Christian is a creepy from first minute to last minute of every movie because what can you do with a non-vampire-vampire character, really? But Anastasia is pretty funny in a way Bella swan never was. I love the whole “Your so bossy, come here, come here, go away go away!” dialogue. FUCKING hilarious. And so unarguable a FANFIC genre of WIT. I like those moments. Or the buisness meeting about the bdsm contract “please turn to page 5 and strike out ‘anal fisting.’” “Are you sure?” “YUP.” (no paraphrasing, she literally says YUP. 10/10 delivery) Also love the texting scenes, reminds me too much of MS though and I immediately felt like trash. 

Now, aside from those moments, hands down, terrible fucking plot. But it had terribel fucking plot to begin with. 

What I was suprised about was that the film crew and creators DID IN FACT listen to te protests and uproar about the controversy of the content of the film. And I was suprised to see that THEY CHANGED a lot of stuff and cut out a lot of shit too. Christian NEVER touches her unless she says so. There actually a lot of moments stressing the consent thing. Even in the room, he tells her to hold out her hand and test the pain, and se if its ok. If its ever to much, he tells her to say stop, and he will. In fact, we see a lot of “nos” that he adheres to. Whereas in the books hes on he like a grade A rapist. They also add her in negotiating a ton of the terms. 

Theres no tampon pulling scene and no inner goddess, much to my dismay/happiness. Lol. 

HOWEVER.Aside from terrible plot, after making changes to the controversy, the movie didnt go far enough to differentiate the problematic nature of CHRISTIAN and the lifestyle of BDSM. Because Anna is a stranger of both, both are presented to the audience as BAD. We see bdsm through the lens of someone who USES IT THE WRONG WAY, FOR THE WRONG THINGS, and thats the main idea the movie can seem to target, and the book never bothered to learn. That last red room scene is Confusing at best, since its all consensual and really tame looking to anyone apart of bdsm, and misdirecting at worst to anyone not apart of it. Because its obvious Christian has ACTUAL Issues, but we’re made to believe all BDSM is like that, and its just not true. 

TO THE SEQUELS CREDIT, 50SDarker goes a little more into this. Not just with dialogue, but showing how Anna is accepting of and in control of BDSM. She asks for specific thinks and seeks out certain sexual activities and calls him out on the shadier parts of his own personality, But in my opinion, its not enough. Theres too much –between the lines– and for a movie ABOUT this lifestyle, its to important to skim over like they do. Thats probably the most disapointing part. 

All in all, its a terrible plot and terrible movie, that doesnt know enough about a material it references, and cant stand alone without its SOURCE material. 

Theres way too many helicopter shots of places, and vehicles. Greys idea of romancise seems to be fancy transportation of some sort and his idea of -KINKY- sex is Cunnilingus, missionary, missionary cunnilingus, and missionary with some handcuffs. But its a WILD ride to watch. And has its genenuinly charming moments that can only come from the COMMUNITY of FANFICTION that molded it. As we know, fandom is just as much influenced by the original fiction as it is the headcanons, aus, peronality tropes and almost mandala effect culture the FANS put into it. And I love and adore that secret part of the movies. Dakota Johnson is also super charming and natural as Anna. A Bella swan, oc, induced character, self instert type fanfic pov. And to do that is some acting talent right there. And finally, and I’m probably the ONLY one here, but Im not 100% upset that 50shades got a movie. Because yes, its terrible in a on of fucking ways. But its STILL a fanfic on screen. And thats incredible. Thats why I bought tickets to support the sequel. She may have manipulated the rise to fame, but EL James still showed us the path to that goal. Fanifc to novelist, novelist to billiondollar box office numbers. EL James was ON SET, telling them how to film – HER FANFICTION. Thats a THING now. You cant not take fanfiction as a community and tool seriously now. Not when it made that much money. And hey, look at Superhero movies. We had to sit through too many shit Xmen and Daredevil movies to get an Iron man. 

I will sit through a few 50shades to get my fucking favorite fanfics on screen too. Its not like Hollywood has any better stories to put up but Adam Sandler movies.

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