#i’m supposed to graduate by december and if this fucks it up idk what i’ll do but it won’t be pretty

[joestarfucker420]

god if my parents really decide to more i’m so royally fucked

[purplesurveys]

1368

survey by peachesxoxo

How is your day? Fucking hectic, just like how the rest of this week has been. I couldn’t be happier that it’s Friday.

What time is it? It issssss currently 7:40 PM.

Have you done anything super important today? Yeah, I had two big presentations today for different clients. It was tough but both got generally good feedback so at least I feel accomplished for today.

Have you avoided responsibilities today? Can’t really afford to do that when it comes to work. Avoiding or procrastinating certain tasks will just come back to bite me in the ass at some point anyway, so if I have time to do something I most likely would start on it already.

Name something on your to do list for week. The week - at least work-wise - is over, so I’m shutting off from that whole world until Monday. I booked an appointment to have my hair dyed tomorrow though!!! So I have that going on as well as getting my booster shot.

Name something you want to do this upcoming weekend. ^ Well the former is happening, hahaha. It’s been a while since I’ve been spontaenous, so I thought dyeing my hair was a good place to start.

Do you have a Job? If yes, what do you do? I do. I’m a manager at a public relations firm and handle a number of consumer brands.

Do you study or have you studied before? I’ve graduated, but yeah I studied up until college. No masters, at least for now; whether I’ll be pursuing that in the near future is someting I’m still uncertain about.

What is your dream career? I’m already living in it. PR wasn’t exactly my dream from the very beginning as I had always wanted to be a journalist and write news and make documentaries - but once I did reach that ‘dream’ of taking up journ in college, I hated it instantly and tried to find a similar world where I can still apply my skills. PR seemed to be the answer to that.

What is the weather like outside? It’s starting to get warm again especially during the afternoon, but at least it still gets to be quite chilly at night so I’m definitely not complaining about that.

Name a hobby or interest you have. I like going to museums and art exhibits. Been a while since I’ve been to one though; my last trip to the museum had been back in December.

Somewhere you would like to holiday/take a vacation to? I’d love a complete change of scenery and climate, maybe somewhere in Morocco or Turkey. Idk, my travel bucket list changes everyday.

How is covid impacting your day to day life? It’s been so long I don’t even know if it continues to have some sort of “impact” on me or my family anymore. I guess it’s just the main fact that I’m missing out on how your 20s are traditionally supposed to be? Like all the going out and traveling and meeting new people and exploring new places with your own money; I’ve experienced so little of it since I’m home most of the time.

It's crazy to think we are in a pandemic worldwide and this is be a huge part of history, right? Yeah, I guess so. I’m so over it now at this point, though.

What is your favourite animal? Dogs and elephants.

What is your favourite thing about nature? Just the fact that it is what it is; completely stripped down and yet is able to provide such peace and quiet.

Do you enjoy the beach? I love the beach and I never turn down a chance to go to one. We actually have plans to go back to Zambales by the end of the month since we’ll be having a national holiday that’ll lead into a 3-day weekend by then, so I hope that pushes through. We’ll be a much larger group too if ever, so that would make the trip even more fun.

Have you ever been face to face with some form of huge marine creature? Not face to face, no. I don’t think I’d be able to handle it well either.

Ever been shark cage diving? What did you think? Nope.

Every attempted to surf or taken lessons? Nah. I had the chance once, when we were in Baler...but only my parents and sister took up the lessons. I have the most terrible balance in the family so I chickened out from trying to surf, hahaha.

Have you ever collected shells from a beach? No. That’s prohibited in most areas anyway, but even if it were allowed I don’t have the heart to take away shells.

Do you believe mermaids exist? No.

Do you believe in anything paranormal? Not really, but it’s still always fun reading stories on Reddit and such.

Aliens! Real or Imagination? Real.

Where would you like to road trip to? Who would you take? I would love to go beyond the accessible out-of-town cities like Tagaytay and Subic, tbh. It’d be so cool to travel to farther cities like Baguio with just friends; and I’d take Angela and Hans and a couple of their friends with me.

Your best friends name? Angela and Andi.

Where did you met? How long ago? I met Angela in grade school 17 years ago; Andi I met at a rally in college around 5 years ago if I’m not mistaken.

What has been on your mind a lot lately? Whether I’ve been doing an okay job at my work and new position, or not.

Would you rather travel interstate or overseas? (if covid was non existent) Overseas. I live in a pretty small country and I’ve been to like 70% of it at this point, so traveling to more countries would be more exciting.

[spookyboywhump]

Daniel 2

Previous

(this is technically a whole side piece thing so idk if people want to be tagged in all the pre-Wren stuff)

 You ever just black out and go full feral writing something? Yeah here y’all go, a mess featuring Cain before he was a complete bastard man

***

Cain stared at the man with wide eyes, unsure of how to even react. His father was talking to him, he should be listening, but all his focus was on the man sitting on his knees in front of him, bound and gagged and blindfolded. He wasn’t sure he was even older than he was, it was hard to tell anything and he knew better than to ask his father while he was speaking. 

 “Are you listening?” The man snapped, and he finally focused on him again, trying not to look as uncomfortable as he felt. 

 “Yes, father…” he said slowly, glancing between the two of them. His father had brought home countless dogs before, but this was the first time he’d handed him a leash and said it was his. He was used to them being around but they’d never been his problem, and he’d never wanted the responsibility of owning one, much less one he didn’t get to decide on. 

 “His training didn’t go as planned but I think it will be good for you to learn how to train your dog.”

 “Yes sir…” 

 “You need to be strict with him, Cain, especially since he was so difficult to train.”

 “Yes sir…”

 “Get used to him being around, he’s your responsibility now.” He said, and Cain numbly accepted the folder handed to him, containing the man’s papers. He looked down at him again, though he obediently sat on his knees he was tense, hands clenched into fists behind his back. He didn’t look like any of the dogs his father had bought before, he didn’t have that sense of resignation and defeat to him. This one would fight, and Cain didn’t even know what he was supposed to do with him. 

 He gave a hesitant tug on the leash, hoping the man would get to his feet. There was something about a person- a dog on all fours that made his skin crawl, he could never stand it. Instead, the man pulled back, resisting him.

 “You don’t have to be gentle, Cain. Honestly, you’ve seen how I handle my dogs, you should know this.” He snatched the leash back from him, yanking harshly on it so that the man nearly fell forward, before finally struggling to his feet. Fuck, he thought, he’s fucking taller than me. He took the leash back, taking a step away and pulling, the man realized he should follow him. 

 “I’m… going to take him then… um…” He wearily looked to his father who was watching him expectantly. “Thank you, for the gift, father.” He said, which seemed to satisfy him. 

 He led the man out of the room, still unsure of what to do with him. He felt like he should say something but he didn’t know what, his father rarely talked with his dogs, usually just commanding or chastising them. He brought him upstairs, going slow to make sure he wouldn’t trip, and back to his room, shutting the door behind them before looking to him. He wasn’t sure if this would work since his father said his training hadn’t gone right, but he tried anyway.

 “Sit.” He ordered. Much to his relief, he did so, even if it was reluctantly. “Okay… just, stay here, while I figure everything out.” He unclipped the leash from his collar, tossing it on to his desk along with the folder before getting his phone from his pocket, dialing his friend’s number. When she picked up he started rambling before she could say a word. 

 “Hey! Hi, fuck, um, my dad gave me a gift?”

 “What? That’s not like him.”

 “I know, I know, fuck, Vanessa, he gave me a fucking dog.”

 “Oooh! What are you going to do with it?”

 “That’s why I was calling you, I don’t know what to do with it.” He looked back to the man kneeling on his floor, almost subtly pulling against his restraints. “I never fucking wanted one of these, and he went and gave me a difficult one too. Could you just, get over here?” He asked.

 “Of course! I'd love to meet your new pup!” She giggled. “I’ll be there soon!” She promised. Once they hung up he went to his desk, pulling the chair away so he was closer to the man and sitting down. His dark hair was messy and he had a suspicion he hadn’t showered in a week. He thought about how his father usually bathed his dogs and felt sick, this was a grown man, he didn’t need Cain to bathe him. He was his dog though, so he figured he could decide how all that would work. It was odd to him, having complete control over something. 

 He reached over and snatched the folder off his desk, opening it up and looking it over. It didn’t give him a whole lot of information, but he at least had a better idea of who this person was. There was a photo of him in it, a school picture. He looked almost painfully normal, a big smile on his face, bright brown eyes full of life. He was kind of pretty, the kind of person that Cain would have to stop and stare at if he saw him on the street. Instead, he was in his home, on his knees, blindfolded and gagged. 

 “So, your name is Daniel…?” He asked, looking over the papers. Daniel Alexander King, he swore he remembered that last name from somewhere but it didn’t matter much. “Fuck, you’re eighteen?” He asked, and the man nodded. “Damn, he told me they won’t take anyone under twenty… you’re one unlucky son of a bitch huh?” He laughed, and the man made an irritated noise behind the gag. He didn’t need to keep him blindfolded and gagged, he could’ve removed them, but at the same time he almost liked the control, liked deciding whether another man could see or speak. His father would be proud.

 He looked over the rest of the information, he was born in December, he’d just graduated from one of the best high schools in the city, his father was dead and apparently his mother wasn’t important enough to list. He wasn’t a volunteer case, he was a “special request” and the details of his training didn’t look too promising. 

 “Dog Type: Basic*

 Simple commands: successful*

 Advanced commands: unsuccessful

 Name removal: unsuccessful

 Memory removal: unsuccessful”

 It looked like almost everything was either unsuccessful or listed as “N/A”. He was genuinely disgusted by some of the things they offered training for, but thankfully his father hadn’t gone for anything like that, gifting him an unruly dog rather than a sex slave. He looked to the extra notes section, curious as to what they had to say on this one.

 “*Client may want to consider guard dog training for SR-290

 *SR-290 responds best to commands when threatened with punishment. We recommend a strict owner

 Training for SR-290 was cut short, leaving him in a much more stubborn and difficult phase. He is defiant and occasionally resorts to violence when threatened. We recommend he be muzzled to begin with, one of our handlers suffered several bite wounds and a broken finger from his attacks. 

 SR-290 is still a work in progress, not recommended for an inexperienced owner. SR-290 should be returned for further training at his handler’s discretion.”

 “You really put up a fight, huh?” He murmured, flipping through the pages that detailed each day he was there. In only a week he’d broken someone’s nose, broken someone’s finger, bit and scratched and at one point hit a handler hard enough to knock them unconscious. It was honestly a little bit impressive, they recommended him as a guard dog but Cain didn’t need a guard dog, his father and his status was all the security he needed. If he was always this violent though, he’d need somewhere to get all that anger out. 

 It didn’t take long for Vanessa to get there, calling him again. It was some relief to know she was there, she usually knew what to do when he didn’t.

 “Hey, come let me in,” She said when he picked up. “I don’t wanna run into your dad, if he looks at me like that again I might fucking stab him.”

 “You’d be doing us all a favor.” He snickered, thankful the camera installed in his room would only pick up his half of the conversation. He told the boy to stay while he went and opened the front door for her. She seemed more excited about this dog than he was, practically bouncing on her heels.

 “So, where is he? What’s he like?” She asked, and he motioned for her to follow him, leading her upstairs.

 “Right now he’s… quiet. He’s not causing much problems but apparently he’s “difficult”. I don’t know, I don’t even know where to start with him.” He sighed, anxiously running a hand through his hair. He let her into his room, relieved to see he was still where he left him. He shut the door behind them, dropping down in his chair again while she knelt down in front of the boy. 

 “Fuck, how old is he?” She asked, gently taking his face in her hands, looking him over.

 “Eighteen. Younger than normal, right?”

 “Yeah…” She carefully pushed the blindfold up to get a look at his eyes, gasping and nearly startling Cain.

 “What?!”

 “He’s gorgeous!” She said, looking back at Cain while still holding his face. “Look at him! Get him a shower and let him get some rest and he’d just be so pretty!” She was probably right about that, now that he saw his eyes he could tell he probably hadn’t slept in some time, dark circles beneath his eyes. They weren’t bright and happy like in his picture, it was pretty clear that he was fucking pissed. “What’s his name?” She asked, looking back at the boy who had gone red in the face. 

 “Well… the papers my dad gave me said his name is Daniel, but I don’t know, he doesn’t really look like a Daniel does he?”

 “No, not really…” she let go of him, getting to her feet and grabbing the papers from his desk. “Maybe his middle name? Alexander is a nice name.”

 “But a little long for a dog, you know?”

 “Hm… then, what about Zander?” She suggested. He looked back at the man, who seemed frustrated while he watched them. 

 “What do you think, boy, Zander sound good?” He asked him, but all he got was muffled angry shouts. “Yeah, I think Zander fits him.” He laughed.

 “He really didn’t want to be trained, huh?” She said, looking over the notes left on him.

 “To be fair they only had him a week. I’m sure I can make some progress now that I have him. If I can’t then my dad definitely can.” He said, getting to his feet. He crouched down in front of the man, finally removing the gag.

 “I have a fucking name and I’m not letting you fucking change it!” He snapped immediately, startling both of them. 

 “Easy boy, calm down. It’s just a name.” Cain laughed, positioning his hands on his face as he looked him over. He ran one thumb over his lips, forcefully shoving it into his mouth to pry open his jaw, looking over his teeth that had apparently caused so much trouble to his trainers. This proved to be a mistake though as Zander but down, hard. “Fuck! This fucker bit me!” He cried as he finally wrenched his hand away from him, getting to his feet. 

 “Shouldn’t have put your fingers in my damn mouth then!” He snapped. He scowled, raising his hand as if to slap him but Vanessa quickly grabbed his wrist.

 “Cain, calm down!” She said. 

 “He fucking bit me!” 

 “Well you did put your fingers in his mouth. His papers even say he’s a biter, what the fuck did you think would happen?!” 

 “Fuck it, I’m taking him out of here. He doesn’t need to be here to figure out what to do with him.” He said, grabbing the leash and clipping it to his collar again, despite his attempts to get away. He yanked hard on the leash, dragging him out of the room. 

 “Let go of me!” He yelled, pulling against the leash. Cain just yanked harder though, following his father’s example. He wasn’t the most physically strong person but he’d have to give in sooner or later, or accept being dragged behind him.

 “Stop struggling and just come with me!” He snapped. “I’m not gonna fucking hurt you, just gonna put you away for a while!”

 “Not gonna hurt me?! You almost fucking slapped me!”

 “Because you fucking bit me you fucking animal!” 

 “You put your fingers in my fucking mouth of course I’m gonna bite you dumb ass!” He yelled. Cain growled and pulled harder, only getting him to move a few steps further. 

 “Would you shut the fuck up and just come on?!”

 “Cain!” The sudden shout from his father was enough to startle him, dropping the leash and whipping around the face him. His father was clearly irritated with him, enough to leave his office to deal with him, but he must’ve known Vanessa was there because he was also restraining himself, Cain was sure of it. “Are you already having this much trouble with your fucking dog?”

 “Stop calling me a dog!” Zander yelled at him, Cain almost winced. His father would kill him if he ever raised his voice like that. His father marched past him and Cain stood aside, watching him grab Zander by the hair. He’d probably feel bad for him if he hadn’t bitten him. 

 “Well,” his father looked at him, “What do you plan to do with him?” For a moment Cain just stared at him, he wasn’t used to his father letting him make any decisions. 

 “I just… I was just going to lock him up for now. Me and Vanessa are trying to figure out what to do with him, figured I’d lock him in his room…” His father yanked hard on Zander’s hair, dragging him downstairs to that room he’d kept all his dogs in. Cain knew he should’ve followed, but his father was pissed and with Zander locked into that room he wouldn’t have to worry about him. He decided to retreat back to Vanessa before his father got back, staying with her would be safest.

 This whole situation was almost too weird to him. The fact his father got him a gift was weird, the fact that the gift was another person was weird. The fact his father was giving him control of this “gift” was especially weird. He wasn’t sure how long this would last, how long the dog would even survive in this house. His father’s dogs usually only lasted a year or two, and with how stubborn Zander was he felt like it would be even less. However long he lasted though, he’d have to figure out something to do with him.

 He had the strong feeling that things would just continue to get weirder from here.

 ***

 “Let me out!” Daniel screamed, slamming his shoulder against the door again. He’d been banging on the door and yelling and screaming but no one was listening. Once he’d been thrown into the room the door was locked and he couldn’t hear a thing on the other side, he wasn’t sure anyone could even hear him in there. 

 Even if it was useless, he kept going for over an hour. He kicked at the door and banged his fists against it, he screamed until his throat was raw and his voice gave out, and finally, he collapsed against the door, pulling his knees up to his chest and hiding his face in his arms. He hated it but tears filled his eyes, he didn’t even bother trying to hold back. 

 All he wanted was to go home. The past week had been one unending nightmare, he just wanted to rest, to be safe again. As childish as it sounded, more than anything he wanted his mom, he didn’t know what they would tell her since he'd just suddenly disappeared. The thought of her believing he was missing or worse was heart wrenching, he wished he could just tell her he was okay. Was he okay? He wasn’t quite sure, but he was alive. As long as he was alive then he should be okay, as long as he was alive he could try to escape.

 All he needed was to stay alive. 

[tar-oh]

Pick-a-Pile: What will the end of 2020 look like for you?

A lovely anon requested me to do a pick-a-pile on your life at the end of 2020, and so here we are! And, honestly you guys are getting spoiled because I used my Lovely Omens deck which was really intended to be only used for my own readings on myself, but I made the exception today because I connect with it really well and thought it would be fun to see what it would say.

For the piles I pulled out some of my collection of Argento movies for the piles. Choose whichever movie speaks to you! If you’re into Argento and you’ve seen them, then cool! Let’s be friends. Outside of that, that’s fine! Let’s still be friends! Anyway, choose whichever pile calls to you. Remember, take what resonates. This is not the end-all-be-all, and this may not be what really happens because it’s what the current energy is leading to. Your energy can change tomorrow and so can your future, so, don’t take it to heart. This is more of a fun, what-if. And if you get to December 31st and you’re finding that this is did happen for you, let me know! So, anyway. Take what resonates, not what doesn’t! Also, you’re welcome to pick more than one pile, so if you want to, you can! OKAY! Here are the piles:

Pile 1:

Cards:  letter, book, fish, queen of pentacles, temperance, the moon, 10 of wands reversed, 3 of cups, judgement, uruz, othala, wunjo, kenaz

Pile 1, I think by the end of the year, things are going to be going better for you. I'm not sure where you are currently (like if these things have happened already, or will be soon), but I see that you'll be feeling more secure overall. There are a few specific things that I think may only apply to a few people, so I'll get those out of the way. Also, if you were going between pile 1 and 2, maybe read pile 2 as well. There's a lot about finding creativity in this pile, and you chose the movie Suspiria, which is technically a horror movie, but the base of the plot is that a girl is attending a foreign dance school. I think some of you may be dancers, or are discovering your passion for dance. I also kind of get this from the 3 of cups, since they look like they're having fun. They don't look like they're celebrating as much as other versions of that card, and they don't look like their moving very fast, so maybe you're into interpretive dance, or something? Maybe singing, so maybe you sing, but I’m getting more dance. Like, maybe you like to move slow, but deliberately. There is actually a remake of Suspirira that has interpretive dance rather than ballet like in the original. Either way, I see that you could be a dancer. And if not a dancer, I think you could just be really creative, but specifically something with music or dance. And again, especially because you chose this movie. One of the things that stands out with this movie is the score by Gobiln. They're kind of known for doing weird out-there scores (I’ll link a video of a song from this movie so you can see what I mean lol), but it's very specific to this movie, so I definitely am leaning more towards music and dance. Maybe you don't do it publicly, it's just something you do in your own time that really makes you feel good about yourself. A few of the cards can talk about creativity, so maybe you're just finding the perfect balance of how to express yourself. I think you're focusing more on this creativity at the end of the year.

For others, another specific thing I'm getting is that maybe you're graduating from or even starting business school. For others, you could be training for something specific for work. Or just training for something in general. Learning something. And others maybe its law school, or economics major. For everyone, though I see you learning something. Whether it be educational or just something random. For some, you may be learning about a secret through a letter or a book, and this could be about money or work. The Moon card really adds to this, so I think you'll be ending the year a little more enlightened about something. The movie also kind of goes with this! It's kind of a mystery and the main character Susie is trying to figure out what's going on in her school, and so maybe you'll solve a mystery! lol Maybe nothing so exciting, but I suppose that's also depends on the context. I do definitely take the moon to mean that this is something you're not supposed to know. At least NOT YET. Like, the moon always comes up for me like that in tarot when it’s something I’m not really supposed to know yet, so I think it's just something you're not supposed to worry about and be more present and when the time comes around, enjoy the whole mystery of it all. I definitely think you've gone through some sort of rebirth this year. I don't know if this is happening at the end of the year, or if you've gone through it already, but by the end of the year you're going to be different in some way. It could just be how you express yourself (going back to that creativity), or even who you're around. I feel like you're finding out who is good for you and who isn't, so its possible your friend group will be different by end of the year. And that's not a bad thing! As people, we all grow and sometimes we grow out of people. I think there could also be new people coming around too (maybe even meeting people online, which what the letter kind of hints to me and the song I was listening to mentioned a letter so I definitely am going with that lol). I think you're going through a lot of healing this year, and maybe more so near the end. And this goes with that rebirth. I don't know what's happened in the past to need this healing (but I suppose we all have our wounds), but I think you're learning more about who you are and what you like. I think you're doing amazing job-wise. You got a few runes that suggest prosperity, and I also see Queen of Pentacles and Temperance attributing to this too. The Queen of Pentacles is someone who is prosperous and abundant, but is also motherly (and I just am getting at this as a quality rather than you being an actual mother, so even if you’re not a mom, I just mean like having that kind of vibe to you). So it's like this good balance between knowing how to get shit done, but also doing it in a compassionate way. The Ten of Wands reversed can talk about letting go of burdens and simplification. So I think by the end of the year, you've weeded out what doesn't work for you. I think, especially after the year the whole world has had, you are learning what matters to you and you're living your life to it's full potential by the time we're leaving this shitty year behind. I think you're doing better in terms of finances, I'm not seeing that you're like super rich, but again, you got a lot of stuff that suggests prosperity. And this might not even mean just materially. This could just be that you're just feeling so much better about life and yourself. Maybe you're abundant with love, finding new love, expanding on existing love, whatever that means for you. I always take Judgement to mean karma, but I see this as good karma for you. And, while I was writing your pile out, Marina's Karma came on, so I definitely think the way you're ending your year is how it's supposed to go. Maybe the way to get there has changed drastically with the way things have gone, but either way, there were multiple paths there, so I think either way you were going to get there. So, your end of the year is looking good! I don't really see anything that concerns me, honestly. I think you're on the right path and you're going to be feeling good about yourself. I'm really proud of you! 

Songs: (a lot of the songs were super specific, so I’m only posting a few of the ones that seem to stand out more)

The theme from Suspiria in case you’re interested (there’s a version with just the bells I listen to because this ones kind of creepy but it also makes me laugh)

these days - nico  (this definitely goes with figuring out what you want to do, I think) watergun - lostboycrow (gonna be honest there’s like 5 artists and one of them lists himself like twice lmao so idk who the actual artist is. i feel that way about anything olivver the kid is involved with)

karma - marina

Pile 2:

Cards:  10 of pentacles, 5 of pentacles, the hermit, king of cups reversed, knight of wands reversed, 5 of wands, the fool reversed, jera, isa, raidho, the lady, the rider, scythe I'm seeing three possible scenarios, 2 are similar, but one is permanent as opposed to the other which is only temporary. So, first, I want to talk about the movie you chose. Inferno is part of a series by Dario Argento, but honestly the only two of the series at that matter are Inferno and Suspiria (the one from pile 1, so if you were going between the two, I think this means you should read that one too). I can't really give you too much about the plots of either because they're both really hard to explain without giving the whole thing away. However, I can say this: It's about an apartment building where people start to disappear from and the only thing that connects them is that they're starting to figure some things out about the history of the place. I can't get more into it, especially because Inferno is kind of an infuriating movie in that it has no main character and you spend most of it going "WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON" which kind of leads me to your pile. I really think prior to what happens later this year or currently/ what already happened, you were in this weird state where you weren't sure where things were going. I think there was a lot of stagnation in your life, and it could also be in multiple areas (love, work, anything really). I think this lead to frustration and apathy on your part. I think there will be/ was something cut off. For some, it’s permanent. For others, it was only temporary. And, this makes sense because if this already happened for you, it could have had to do with quarantine. Maybe you lost your job or you did temporarily. I think prior to this, you were frustrated and feeling like this was it and you were kind of upset that it was all there was, but maybe this loss/end led to you realizing there was more to see/do in life. I think this is true for someone, because a cover that the Lummineers did of This Must be The Place by Talking Heads came on, and it's kind of like realizing that where you are is where you're supposed to be. I know, you're probably like "But that's the opposite of what you just said"! HANG ON! I'm getting that you're realizing it's not your "home" and "home is where I want to be..." and whatever this situation is, it's not feeling like home to you. Or, at least wasn't prior to the end/separation. For some, this was a person that was cut off. Either you were the one doing the cutting or someone else did (or maybe it was someone at a job or at school that you lost contact with because of closures). Either way, you realized just how frustrating this situation was and kind of went into Hermit mode for a bit (or will) to reflect on what transpired. Gonna be honest, because you chose Inferno, I'm thinking there's a lot of anger too. Like, there aren’t necessarily any super angry characters in this movie, but the name itself makes me think of rage. I always think of rage as being this really red hot thing, a kind of inferno. So, I see anger being involved. Or, for some of you at least. I think there was a lot of clashing/competition. Maybe arguments that ended in tears on someone’s end. Whatever it was, it was/will be cut off somehow and you'll be feeling more at peace. I think you're also going to be finding that you're definitely more stable and making more progress in areas of your life you hadn't seen progress in previously. In one of the decks I'm using, the Lovely Omens deck, the Hermit card makes the hermit look like she came to some kind of a conclusion, like an “a-ha!” moment with how she has her finger pointing up. And the hermit is someone who’s looking for answers. In the Rider-Waite deck it’s this guy who’s got a lantern, looking like he’s searching for something, but in this deck it’s like we’re seeing the moment she figured whatever it was out. I didn't intentionally lay it out the way it is in the picture, but it happened to be that she's above the Fool reversed, and I guess I see this as her maybe seeing that she can make that leap, whereas before she was hesitant and frustrated that things were at such a standstill. Maybe it was that this person or situation wasn't giving her any time to really do anything else outside of it, so maybe this time alone is making her feel like she can do anything. Now, you did get the 5 of pentacles, so I do think there was/is a period where you're feeling a little worried or anxious about finances, or just about anything really. But, I definitely see the 10 of Pentacles and the Hermit more than the five of pentacles card, and I'm seeing it as you figuring out that you can make a way to be stable on your own, not really needing anyone or that situation you'd been in. You could also read this as the 5 of Pentacles being someone else feeling a little left out, but I think it's for the best for the time being during this period of your life. I see that for some, this is a permanent cut. So maybe you just don't return to this specific job, and for other's again, it's only temporary. I do see that for some, this could be a relationship (Platonic or romantic), where you feel a little left out. Like you're not getting what you give, and this is causing you to be frustrated and moody. There may be harsh words being thrown around. But, again, this is getting cut off (by you, someone else, or just by the universe), and things are going to go better. Like, the ten of pentacles is a really good card to get, so I don’t see you being so bad off. Maybe this will be painful depending on who/what it is being cut off, but know that it’s going to lead to better things. So, things may have been rocky this year, or they will get rocky, but I see you ending it on a better note than where you were before the end of the year. Songs:

For pile one, I listed the song These Days by Nico and even though it played for that pile, I really think some of you could resonate with it, so I think you should look at the lyrics or listen to it. Also, a lot of the songs had to do with communication, so Idk. Maybe think about how you’re communicating with people, or how you’re allowing people to communicate with you (if at all, or if they’re just doing it in a shitty way. Have boundaries and speak up if you don’t think people are being honest with you, but also remember to treat people how you want to be treated) also, ngl i wasn’t going to link the theme to inferno but like honestly its so weird I have to. It’s not scored by Goblin like the other two movies but I get this song stuck in my head more lol So HERE it is idk maybe someone will like it too lmao

oceans - the wombats (there’s a line about selling an ocean to the sea and I really feel like this is kind of you and this situation you cut off, like maybe it was a situation you’ve been in time and time again and you’re finally cutting it off after seeing that it’s the same thing you’ve dealt with and the only way to stop it is to cut it off this time. like idk it’s hard for me to explain but i feel like this specific part of the song is something you should check out) movement - the higher  this is me trying - taylor swift lambs wool - foster the people love me to death - GARDEN

this must be the place (naive melody) - Talking Heads cover by The Lumineers (they also talk about that same line I mention in the beginning of this and I think thats kind of funny that it stands out to them too lol) Pile 3:

Cards:  Seven of Wands, 8 of Pentacles, Page of Cups, 8 of Cups, Knight of Wands, five of wands reversed, Ship, moon, sun, hagalaz, perthro, eihwaz

PILE 3 I THINK SOME OF YOU ARE GOING TO GET ASKED OUT. I have a bunch of reasons for this! First of, I pulled the Page of Cups and the Knight of Wands. Along with the moon and sun cards in my fortune cards (which don't necessarily mean love, but I'll get to it!).  Also, the first two songs that played, were First Date by Blink-182 and The Pull of You by the National. Granted, The Pull of You is little sad (kind of about two people drifting apart, but still being connected) and First Date being about...well a First Date, but to me those definitely are screaming romantic feelings lol. But, we'll get to that later! You guys just kept getting all the love songs that mean something to me so!!! That's something!!! Like, I mostly just felt super mushy while doing this pile and I kind of take this to mean something. Firstly, I've been talking a little bit about the movies that each pile was represented by. Deep Red is actually one of my favorite movies (did I choose this pile before I pulled the cards? MAYBE. Do I think it's gonna happen for me specifically!? I don't know! But it might for you! Take what resonates!). It's a murder mystery and scored by Goblin (who I got to see play the score live during a showing of the movie last year for my birthday so!!!!). Basically, it's about an American pianist living in Italy who witnesses the murder of a neighbor and so he teams up with a journalist to solve the murder. They make a good team, and I think this is kind of playing into what I want to get at later, but first the big part of this: I think someone has noticed you. I think they're really attracted to you. Yes, I think it's physical, but I also think they're intrigued by you, especially because I think maybe you have some walls up and they can't really get to know you (I see the moon card in my fortune deck as kind of saying this, but it also can mean attention and praise, so I see this too!). I think they're seeing you as someone who has strength and has endured the trials of life. So, with this recognition, I think they're going to rush in and tell you how they're feeling and maybe ask you out. I think it's going to be really random and I also think it's going to end up being a compromise lol. I think you're going to be playing hard to get (but maybe it's not intentional, I know I'm kind of hard to really get to know, so I see how this could happen with someone). So, I see them working hard to get you to budge, but I think eventually you're kind of like "Okay, fine, but I choose what we do and when." Whatever it is, I see that it's going to go well I think you'll both be pretty happy. There may be a period after where you withdraw a bit (or they do) and think about it, but I think you feel a pull to them (which I think is why the Pull of You came on). The 8 of cups can talk about withdrawing, but it can also talk about loosing interest, however I don't see either of you loosing interest, at least not with everything else I pulled. This 8 of cups in this deck is really specific to me. In the Rider-Waite, he's walking away from the cups, but in this one he's just sitting and looking at the moon. And maybe this isn't you, maybe this is this person studying you before they ask you out? I mean, I think it's interesting I pulled one moon card and this one and the moon is so prominent to me in this card. Honestly, I think it's both! I think this person is REALLY into you. I mean, the majority of the songs that played were like really...They were about people liking people from afar, and also Panic Switch came on by Silversun PIckups and like I don't think it NECESSARILY applies to this, but I see maybe this being kind of a weird situation for you because maybe you're not used to the attention, so they like give you this attention and praise and admit that they like you and you kind of freeze up and your walls go up. So, like you panic? But, honestly, I think maybe you like them too. Like, Despite the seven and 5 of wands showing up, I'm  seeing good in this. (I like it by the Maria's came on, so I really think you like them back lol) The runes add to it too, because Perthro means hidden secrets (and I take the moon to mean that too!), but I see the Knight of Wands holding up his wand, so it's like they're offering this truth to you. It can also mean change, and I see that this will change things. And Eihwaz can mean stability, so maybe this is something that at first is scary and uncertain when it first presents itself, but then it even outs (like with those negotiations where you compromise) and it stabilizes and you're just feeling glad with how it worked out. HONESTLY, I'm just feeling super good about this? So I think this is going to make you feel good too! And for those of you that didn't want a love reading, it could just be a new friend maybe, like someone that admires you and maybe you two have a good dynamic (like one where you could solve mysteries lol). I also think that both of you are creative, but in different ways. Like one could write and the other could be more into making music or playing instruments. I mean, it could be anything and maybe you're into the same things, but I'm getting that just from the dynamic between the two main characters in Deep Red, and I definitely get a creative vibe from this. And like, maybe it's a business offer. Like, you're asked to work on a project with someone. I think this could end up well. Any of these situations I think is going to go good, so I'm really happy for you!

Songs:

Deep Red Theme (since I posted the other themes. I listen to this one a lot actually, the bass is SO GOOD) first date - blink-182 (i promise i listen to other blink songs but this one just always seems to come up for these?!) the pull of you - the national  howling at the moon - phantogram  panic switch - silversun pickups (okay are you guys fans of good bass or something? bc i’m seeing a theme outside of my own preference)

groceries - mallrat i like it - the marías (you guys let me let this sit for weeks without me putting the link to this song? lol guyyss tell me things!) invisible string - taylor swift (i think its crazy this one played in the same pile the pull of you played bc I relate them together for many reasons? so like !!!! that’s tarot for you!!!!)

purest form - prince of eden

LET ME KNOW IF IT RESONATES AND ALSO MAYBE COME BACK IN JANUARY TO SEE IF IT PLAYED OUT THE WAY THE CARDS TOLD ME!

[dilfhakyeon-moved]

thoughts on each nct unit

oh thats a good one... ok this got so fucking long IM SORRY

nct 127 - i love them a lot they're obv my main fandom and as individuals they're breathtaking just like all of nct but... the line distribution is always terribly unbalanced with mark and taeyong eating up the entire song every single title track. moreover i definitely have a problem with taeyong's voice ( though that's not only in nct 127 ) and it really sucks because in baby don't stop he had sung lines and his voice was perfectly fine - they're obsessed with making him a rapper and they shouldn't ? he's a great vocalist, sm should acknowledge that more often. i get wanting more rappers but like if you're gonna have a rapper idk make it one of the boys who barely get lines like sicheng or yuta lol, even jaehyun is more of a vocalist than a rapper so making him a rapper is weird... johnny's right there anyway he needs lines too and i think he is supposed to be a rapper so. i really wrote a lot just for taeyong i'm sorry skshsjsb just a bit annoyed his actual skills get overlooked by sm even though he's nct's poster boy with mark.

we need ot10 back together soon but honestly having sicheng in both nct 127 and wayv was... a terrible move. very different units, both very busy bc they're focused on different marketing when it comes to who they want to reach, sicheng will have to sacrifice more than one nct 127 or wayv comeback to be with the other group that's promoting at the time like we saw with superhuman, wakey wakey, while he was with wayv for regular and take off ( even tho he got no real lines in regular... clowns sm ). it's just a shame sm can't even stick to their actual units and give them proper managing. also nctzens need to realise taeil & doyoung aren't the only vocalists, jaehyun is amazing and in fact so is jungwoo ? nobody ever talks about his vocals but he is... great hello ? i'm gonna waste so much time on hyuck rn so hold on.

the way sm won't acknowledge hyuck's vocal prowesses also bothers me. he's been improving a LOT and if your focus is on hitting high notes this boy can hit crazy high notes just like taeil, sm just won't give him the lines bc they're milking taeil's voice and that's all they use him for ( which i hate... i love taeil so much when will sm treat his artists right lol !!! ). he's also a great dancer but i think people forgot he was great because of his hiatus and like ok but he's been back for months haha. one last thing... let the members collab w/ artists who aren't jason derulo please n thank yooou.

now... to stop criticising sm's management for now... nct 127 is a great subunit. the members have real chemistry and work off one another very well, the unit remains diverse and the songs are PHENOMENAL. i don't care what anyone says about cherry bomb or firetruck it's just that people have bad taste i won't hear it. the visuals are always amazing, except johnny's wig in wakey wakey but that's in the past... i like the differences we see from cb to cb and yet it remains true to nct 127. you know which subunit you're listening to even with the contrasts and that's Cool, yeehaw ! i think i can shut up abt 127 now lmao.

wayv - TRANSCENDENT. seven members, not too few nor too many, the line distribution isn't too bad for once ( except regular but that's just how regular is i GUESS, also ten is definitely being favoured ), the main dancers get to show their abilities ( though i'd have enjoyed more centre time for sicheng in take off bc... that was really ten's song in all aspects lmao ), i don't know about the other wayv rappers' singing abilities but chill rapper lucas was a good pick. i'll say yangyang and hendery aren't too bad either ! xiaojun's vocals make a man dreamy ( i am a man ), kun... should get more lines hehe of course he should i love his voice and he just doesn't get enough yet. like i said they really favoured ten with their actual debut, looking forward to see how they handle the line distribution in the future. the management must be a bit different given wayv isn't only sm from what i understood ? it's a bit too soon for me to properly have an opinion on wayv aside from what i said about sicheng earlier and well, the line distribution and centre time overall. ten is my wayv bias but like, the others should still get some attention, they're not idols just to look pretty in the background lol.

nct dream - as individuals i LOVE them of COURSE i do... but this subunit's concept is a bit clanky to me. the whole graduating thing leaves a bitter taste in my mouth especially considering mark just graduated which means the 00 liners will graduate this year... all four of them... and hyuck hasn't even made a cb with dream yet. they'll probably introduce new members in the upcoming months but watching it unfold makes me worry about an nct dream with just chenle and jisung, now i'd love a song with both of them but maybe not as nct dream lol. thankfully they also hope they'll be able to have nct u songs as og nct dream which is what i was definitely hopeful for so it might happen, not yet but maybe some day.

sm made nct dream but everyone including nct dream got SO attached to the og unit it just feels like it can't work, especially since it's been three years and no new members have been introduced yet. it's been og nct dream up until december 2018, there had been no changes, sm just... handled this bad once again ? lmao. idk how to explain it but that sums it up ? aside from that i have nothing to say about the line distribution and all, i think it's handled pretty well on dream's side... even though the only dream content we've gotten this year was dnyl akshdjh. i love it of course but like it's not an actual dream cb so it's a bit... yeah.

and now the one we can all agree on,

NCT U THE BITCH

this unit has SO MUCH potential. it could be used SO WELL if the management wasn't done by sm. we could get the best bg content sm could put out without shinee and ot9 exo but we are let down TIME and TIME again. i won't even develop on that because i know everyone thinks the same so i don't have to do the maths for you skhsjsdjdhdj, this just gets me so Mad i hate sm's management so much. it's like they think that bc they've got the best artists out of the big 3 and so they can just do whatever they want and it'll pass but i can't STAND THIS holy fuck bring back f(x) you fuckin uglies stop clowning rv let suju disband at LAST do SOMETHING RIGHT

tl;dr the boys good sm bad

[pajnloki]

8 // One year

Uhm hi. 

Has it been a year already, lol? I know, little me. I have been neglecting this blog for quite some time now and honestly I knew that. I just didn’t want to face reality.. my reality by writing things down: my problems, regrets, insecurities all of them. It felt disgusting just aknowledging them so I avoided confrontation. But hey, in my defense, covid has been going on the whole year and 2020 was a big fat mess. So many things happened, changed, escalated and barely had the time and energy and strength to face all those problems and changes. 

2020 was gonna be THE year, i said. So many times. Trying to tell myself that there’s no need to be scared. No need to back down, because everyone goes through high school graduation, university, adulthood. It’s completely normal to panic a bit because in the end you’re gonna manage. You’re capable of so many great things. I told myself, or rather lied to myself? I don’t even know at this point. 2020 was memorable. Yes. But in a good way? aboslutely not! :’) And just a short disclaimer. I know how damn serious the virus is, but let me just rant about my life for once, because it’s hard on me, too.

Schools just suddenly closed down 2 weeks before my graduation. My friends and my whole grade in general did not get to experience the legendary “last week” where we’d prank the whole school. Everyone before us did, though. Pretty unfair. I mean we went to school for so many years and that was gonna be our HIGHLIGHT! Marking our GRADUATION. Making epic MEMORIES. Well, fuck that, I guess. Didn’t happen! :D Instead, we got 1 month quarantine where we had to study for finals. For unsure finals. For “we don’t know if you have to take exam yet” - finals. But we had to study, study for finals that may not even happen. That were some horrible ass weeks of studying, crying, panicking, stressing out, questioning myself, more crying and a lot of anime, lmao. And then it was May and I took my exams and I did pretty okay-ish. It wasn’t the best I could’ve done but I mean, considering the situation back then and how lazy I really am, it was okay. At least, for me... kind of? Honestly speaking, I knew it was bad. My grades used to be GREAT but now they were just good but for my parents that meant failed. And did they not hide their disappointed in that, no. They actually went ahead and told me in my face how absolute horrible my finale grades were and that theyre absolutely not satisfied with them. Thanks, mom. It’s not like I didn’t know that. Sorry for not being able to go into Med school like U wished. But it was hard on me, too. Comparing myself to my friends who despite this damn situation still managed to get the perfect score in every damn subject. Am I even allowed to use the pandemic as an excuse or is it really just me who sucks at everything. It’s not like not being able to go outside without mask and 1.5m social distancing was helping me in any way. It’s not like the constans pressure of my parents wasn’t enough. If not Med School, then Law, they said. And funny enough, I could’ve gone there but then suddenly remembered how I applied to Psych School in December 2019, whoops. Why, you ask? Because my mom already pressured me into looking up universities in goddamn 2019 and so I went ahead and applied to a school in aneighboring country, because going as far as possible was basically the aim. Psych was never my dream, I mean yeah, it’s super interesting (and spoiler: I am enjoying studying it a lot.) but I never actually considered a profession in that area. Not because I didn’t see myself there, but I didn’t see myself ANYWHERE at all. I didn’t know what I wanted to do. I had no passions, goals or dreams. Sounds sad, but the Internet assured me, I wasn’t only one so thumbs up to us guys. Anyway, so I applied to that University and in the middle of finals I got accepted, suprisingly! Didn’t expect that and for sure didn’t remember that LMAO. I told my parents and they were not pleased. My dad couldn’t understand why I wanted to study Psychology ??? The fuck u wanna do with that, he asked. And I didn’t know what to answer, because hell no, I don’t know, bro. I just applied to move out from home. Fun fact: my household is not that toxic, just stereotypical asian strict parents who love the idea of med school a little too much. But I still went there, even if they disagreed but I mean they cannot change the fact that my grades weren’t good enough for med school, and even if could’ve gone to Law school, I DECLINED. 100% sure I’m not made to defend anyone in court. Probably woulda start crying or something.. 

And so I graduated, had a weird graduation ceremony in our P.E hall (?? idek lmao) and went to university 2 months later in september. Funny story. LMAO. Seriously, things happened in such a fast pace that I wasn’t able to properly accept the fact that I am no longer a high school student, and just started my new path?!?!?!?! Wtf?? stop!? Months and Months went by and I was emersed in studying and exams and deadlines. And all of that online. Via Zoom. Great. Nice University student life. No parties, no real life lectures, no making friends in the cafeteria or any sort of actual experiences like those. Great. Second lockdown, and third lockdown - oh there’s a vaccine! Yey! Oh no, wait. There are mutation of the virus. Not great. :’) And that my friends was 2020. The year I turned 18. What a wonderful start into adulthood <3 

And now, it’s already 2021. And tomorrow I turn 19. And im fucking scared. And sad. 1. Scared because I don’t wanna age and become old and knowing i havent accomplished one single thing in life and instead rather than turning 19 i turned into a failure and 2. Sad because I’m 18, do not have a drivers license, never went clubbing for adults, graduated in the most disgusting and sad way possible (and most unmemorable way i dont even wanna think about that musty gymnasiums hall lmao) and pretty much did nothing cool in my 18th life and thats just how my young adult life’s gonna be! :DDD nice guys. 

Ok, this sounds pretty depressive and petty and sad and lowkey annoying but idk how i am supposed to sugarcoat that.... if i find a way, i’ll come back but until then, stay safe 

[yesindeedington]

my life. a shitshow.

Where do I begin?..

They say life really begins the day you graduate from school...whether it’s high school or college. The real world starts when you walk across that stage to get that piece of paper from the dean that wouldn’t know your name if their life depended on it.

I got laid off my temp job in December, and I’m heading to Jamaica next month to see my dad. I got my income tax coming in, but I doubt if I get anything because I made too much taxable income during that timeframe. Idk when’s the next time I may see any more money. I’ve applied for jobs, but there’s not a lot of opportunities in my city of Mobile, AL. Plus, with me heading to Jamaica, they may not even hire me if I have to be out of work for a full week.

Valentine’s day weekend is coming, and I’m supposed to see my boo who lives out of town during that time to catch Black Panther (luckily she’s buying the tickets). I have to get her a gift, have gas to make the trip to and from, probably get food, and have enough for the Jamaica trip, not to mention upcoming bills due. The cryptocurrency market is at an all-time low, so my portfolio is fucked for the time being, and if it doesn’t recover by the time I leave for Jamaica, my funds will be depleted.

I’ll be 30 this upcoming November, and I still don’t have my life together. In a time where it seems like everyone’s getting married, starting a family, well into their careers doing what they want to do for a living, I’m still chasing my dreams/goals after almost a decade, still not working a job within the major i graduated in, and still beating myself up for feeling like I’m not doing enough to get out of this rut that it feels like I’ve been in since December 2013, the year I received my degree. I can’t help but to think what I’ve missed out on with going after my music dreams. I’m up to my neck in student loan debt, I want to move to another city but IDK where, and I don’t have a plan to save my life if I could. Seems like every time I try to save money, I gotta spend it. Rappers spit about the money they have but always try to finesse free beats from me. I lost my apartment in 2015 due to being laid off my job then (I’ve been laid off a total of 4 times since i graduated college) and had to move back in with my parents (talk about demoralizing).

I’m always the glass half-full type guy. The one that’ll look for the silver-lining in the bullshit life brings. But there are some times where life can get overwhelming. This is one of those times. It’s 1:22 a.m. as I type this through the tumblr app. I just pray to God that I can get my life together. I just hope that someone can relate. One day hopefully, I’ll look back on times like these and laugh..but for right now...I’m pretty down.

[maergo]

BECAUSE YOU ASKED ME 4 TIMES, ALL 100 QUESTIONS

PART 1: THE BASICS

What is your full name?Choi Minho

Where and when were you born?New York, December 9th 1991

Who are/were your parents? (Know their names, occupations, personalities, etc.)My mom is Lee Jieun, she used to be a hairdresser for celebrities but kinda retired from it. My dad’s name is Choi Yunkyum and he’s a surgeon specialized in open heart surgeries.

Do you have any siblings? What are/were they like?I used to have a twin brother named Minsuk, we were an exact replica of each other, both physically and personality-wise, except he was smarter 

Where do you live now, and with whom? Describe the place and the person/people.South Korea with my husband, his kids and a whole lot of pets.

What is your occupation?I’m a writer

Write a full physical description of yourself. You might want to consider factors such as: height, weight, race, hair and eye color, style of dress, and any tattoos, scars, or distinguishing marks.Pffft okay uh i’m about 181cm tall, don’t know my weight exactly but it’s probably between 70 and 75 kg depending on whether or not I regularly work out and maintain my muscles. I have a tattoo on the inside of my ringfinger, a scar on my face and one on my arm. 

To which social class do you belong?

Do you have any allergies, diseases, or other physical weaknesses?I’m allergic to roses

Are you right- or left-handed?Both, and I regularly switch between the two

What does your voice sound like?Like shit probably

What words and/or phrases do you use very frequently?The audacity (of this bitch), rude, lame, shithead… the list goes on

What do you have in your pockets?My phone

Do you have any quirks, strange mannerisms, annoying habits, or other defining characteristics?I’d say no but there’s things I do that people would probably think is strange 

PART 2: GROWING UP

How would you describe your childhood in general?It was all fun and games up until I was 10

What is your earliest memory?I think that’d be my mom singing in the kitchen

How much schooling have you had?Made it all the way up to university

Did you enjoy school?I did enjoy it a lot

Where did you learn most of your skills and other abilities?Most things I learn by myself

While growing up, did you have any role models? If so, describe them.My role model was mom, who always tried to be as kind as possible to other people despite their racist tendencies. 

While growing up, how did you get along with the other members of your family?With my dad things became quite rough after I came out as gay, my other family members don’t know as much about me and neither do I know about them because we hardly see and talk to each other.

As a child, what did you want to be when you grew up?I’ve always wanted to do something with writing.

As a child, what were your favorite activities?I enjoyed going to the playground and just play all kinds of games with my brother and the other kids of the neighborhoods.

As a child, what kinds of personality traits did you display?You’d have to ask my mom

As a child, were you popular? Who were your friends, and what were they like?My brother and I were quite popular, that was up until my brother passed away and I couldn’t bring myself to still be as happy and elevated.

When and with whom was your first kiss?Ages ago, I don’t remember who it was with.

Are you a virgin? If not, when and with whom did you lose your virginity?No, I lost my virginity to my ex just over a year ago. 

If you are a supernatural being (i.e. mage, werewolf, vampire), tell the story of how you became what you are or first learned of your own abilities. If you are just a normal human, describe any influences in your past that led you to do the things you do today.So I tried to kill myself and then the micino didn’t agree with that and ever since I’m stuck with drinking blood

PART 3: PAST INFLUENCES

What do you consider the most important event of your life so far?Graduating university 

Who has had the most influence on you?No one I think

What do you consider your greatest achievement?

What is your greatest regret?Not staying at the place I was supposed to stay

What is the most evil thing you have ever done?I killed a bug once?

Do you have a criminal record of any kind?No

When was the time you were the most frightened?Can’t remember so quickly

What is the most embarrassing thing ever to happen to you?It’s embarrassing when I finally think I have my life on track and then 0.5 seconds after that thought something bad happens

If you could change one thing from your past, what would it be, and why?That the accident 17 years ago never happened

What is your best memory?The proposal that didn’t involve a ring honestly

What is your worst memory?The car accident

PART 4: BELIEFS & OPINIONS

Are you basically optimistic or pessimistic?More pessimistic

What is your greatest fear?Being left by everyone I love

What are your religious views?Believe in what you want to believe

What are your political views?I don’t care for politics

What are your views on sex?Always use a condom?????? snorts idk

Are you able to kill? Under what circumstances do you find killing to be acceptable or unacceptable?So as mentioned before, I killed a bug once and I regretted that for a long time. I’m not able to kill, at least not consciously. If it’d be possible then I would prefer no one would get killed but that’s a very unrealistic thought

In your opinion, what is the most evil thing any human being could do?Torture someone, whether that be physical or mentally,.

Do you believe in the existence of soul mates and/or true love?I want to believe in it

What do you believe makes a successful life?Being content with what you have. 

How honest are you about your thoughts and feelings (i.e. do you hide your true self from others, and in what way)?I’m very honest when it comes to it, but I do hide a lot because I don’t want to bother the people around me.

Do you have any biases or prejudices?

Is there anything you absolutely refuse to do under any circumstances? Why do you refuse to do it?I’d never. ever torture someone.

Who or what, if anything, would you die for (or otherwise go to extremes for)?Listen if someone needs a volunteer that’ll get killed in order for them to stay alive I’ll be the first to raise my hand

PART 5: RELATIONSHIPS W/OTHERS

In general, how do you treat others (politely, rudely, by keeping them at a distance, etc.)? Does your treatment of them change depending on how well you know them, and if so, how?I try to be polite/ neutral at first meeting but I do keep a distance. Depending on how they are I’ll either get comfortable quickly or not at all. Treatment may change over time but that also depends on the person.

Who is the most important person in your life, and why?My mom because even when she doesn’t agree with certain things I do, she always tries to understand me and help me out whenever needed.

Who is the person you respect the most, and why?That’d also be mom because she’s the greatest mom

Who are your friends? Do you have a best friend? Describe these people.I have like three friends and they’re all idiots

Do you have a spouse or significant other? If so, describe this person.I do and I have no idea how to describe him because there are no words that could properly define him. He’s not perfect, by far, but I love his imperfections and I love how I can see him try so hard to be the best version of himself.

Have you ever been in love? If so, describe what happened.Got disappeared on,

What do you look for in a potential lover?Comfort and honesty.

How close are you to your family?I’m very close with my mom and with dad things are improving overtime.

Have you started your own family? If so, describe them. If not, do you want to? Why or why not?I haven’t started anything by myself but I do have a husband who has kids, so they’re my family. I’d want to get kids of myself someday but I’m too afraid to really commit to it already.

Who would you turn to if you were in desperate need of help?If it’s about serious matters I always go to mom.

Do you trust anyone to protect you? Who, and why?The micino because he’d be the first to figure out something’s up

If you died or went missing, who would miss you?I’d hope no one

Who is the person you despise the most, and why?No one I think?

Do you tend to argue with people, or avoid conflict?I’m all in for arguments because 9/10 times I am the one who causes them to happen anyway

Do you tend to take on leadership roles in social situations?No, I would not be a good leader.

Do you like interacting with large groups of people? Why or why not?No because I always fuck up the mood

Do you care what others think of you?Yes, but I hate admitting to it since I know it’d be my own fault if they dislike me.

PART 6: LIKES & DISLIKES

What is/are your favorite hobbies and pastimes?Playing the piano has been my main hobby again as of lately

What is your most treasured possession?The one picture of my brother and I that I didn’t tear apart.

What is your favorite color?I’ll go with burgundy red

What is your favorite food?Any food

What, if anything, do you like to read?Anything that’s easy to read through.

What is your idea of good entertainment (consider music, movies, art, etc.)?I like it easy, not too crowded and not too loud. Idk what examples to give

Do you smoke, drink, or use drugs? If so, why? Do you want to quit?Yes, yes and yes. The first has become too much of a habit, the second one I hardly do anymore unless it’s during dinner and the third is also just a bad habit but that generally only happens when I’m having a really bad panic attack. I’ve never considered quitting yet, that’d probably only happen when it clearly starts affecting my health

How do you spend a typical Saturday night?Either at home with the micino and kids or somewhere else if there’s an event or something

What makes you laugh?People who accidentally hurt themselves

What, if anything, shocks or offends you?People who think they can make certain jokes or comments when you don’t even know each other well. That both shocks and offends me because I can’t imagine anyone to be raised like that,

What would you do if you had insomnia and had to find something to do to amuse yourself?I usually start by restlessly turning around in bed and then I get out to play the piano. As of lately that’s the only way I deal with it

How do you deal with stress?I let it happen and then I get stressed over how stressed I am only to get more stressed and it’s just a never ending circle of always being stressed so at this point I don’t even know what to do anymore to make it any better

Are you spontaneous, or do you always need to have a plan?I usually do like a plan beforehand but sometimes I can be spontaneous.

What are your pet peeves?When things get pushed too much against someone’s will.

PART 7: SELF IMAGES & OTHER

Describe the routine of a normal day for you. How do you feel when this routine is disrupted?I wake up, I stay in bed for as long as I can which is always different every day since no day is really the same. Then I get up to get breakfast for myself & to prepare some for the micino, I feed the pets, give them water, clean their litterboxes and then I get ready for the day. After that I either work at home or if I have meetings I attend those, do groceries after and by the time I’m done with that it’s already time for dinner, so I make and eat that and during the evening I either work some more or do absolutely nothing.

What is your greatest strength as a person?I don’t easily give up on something or someone.

What is your greatest weakness?I don’t take it too well when someone tells me off.

If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?My entire personality

Are you generally introverted or extroverted?Introverted

Are you generally organized or messy?Organized

Name three things you consider yourself to be very good at, and three things you consider yourself to be very bad at.Playing the piano, writing and cookingMaking/ maintaining friends(hips), being optimistic, taking compliments

Do you like yourself?No

What are your reasons for being an adventurer (or doing the strange and heroic things that RPG characters do)? Are your real reasons for doing this different than the ones you tell people in public? (If so, detail both sets of reasons…)

What goal do you most want to accomplish in your lifetime?I want to become content with myself

Where do you see yourself in 5 years?I don’t know, I don’t like thinking about the future too much

If you could choose, how would you want to die?Any way would be a good way

If you knew you were going to die in 24 hours, name three things you would do in the time you had left.I would only force the micino to stay home and spend the last 24 hours with him

What is the one thing for which you would most like to be remembered after your death?I don’t want to be remembered

What three words best describe your personality?Fucked, annoying, lame

What three words would others probably use to describe you?Fucked, annoying, lame

If you could, what advice would you, the player, give to your character? (You might even want to speak as if he or she were sitting right here in front of you, and use proper tone so he or she might heed your advice…)Yes hello mango you’re a shithead who needs to get his shit together thank you

[mochi-peaches]

i need to complain about my uni some more i found out so much shit today i am honestly so tired and i’m so glad i’m graduating this place is hell on earth

okay so... my uni is shitty in general right? i’ve had a lot... a LOT... of issues here... i haven’t done a conventional route for an undergrad what i did was i did a 2 year foundation degree [fda] and then came here to do my 3rd year, but i decided to go into the second year because i didn’t feel like i’d learnt enough on my fda, and there were modules i thought looked really interesting [for example... an exchange programme... which i’ll get to in a moment] so i went into the 2nd year as opposed to the 3rd [my mum went batshit at me but that’s another story sjdnjdvncd]

okay so!!! when i started there september 2016 AND i thought it was gonna be great... i’d moved to the city and i was living with a friend of mine + 8 other people [that was fucking awful i’m still kinda traumatised from that experience so this year i’ve lived by myself it was THAT bad] and it was easy for me to move to the 2nd year and everything and one of the lecturers who’s head of the course right he helped me sort out seeing a counsellor [that’s a mess], sorting DSA [disabled students allowance bc i’d been diagnosed with depression & anxiety] and a few other things and it was fine!!! i was managing to go to class almost every day despite shit happening in the module we did where the group i was working in we had to have THREE!!!! meetings with the aforementioned head of the course bc of how BADLY we were working together and that rly like... messed me up and i get anxious when there’s conflict so that made me kinda not wanna go to class etc. 

then they messed up my exchange and i ended up not going and that was a massive blow to my mental health i already wasn’t doing great for a bunch of other reasons :/ i got accepted into a really good uni in seoul that was hard to get into and i even got offered an EXTENDED exchange bc of how good they thought my grades were and yet my uni thought my grades were SHIT????? OKAY! 

then in december 2016 i got so bad to the point i tried to kill myself once and planned it at least twice more :// and my uni was aware of it and they’re SUPPOSED to intervene and didn’t lmao i was seeing a mental health worker on campus because, to quote the counsellor i saw TWICE, “my issues were too complex and deep rooted to be dealt” and then went and saw the mh worker she was lovely :(( but i was so fucking bad at that point i literally... didn’t care lmao and was too anxious to even leave my room [i’m like that now too] my uni IGNORED ME for over 6 MONTHS being aware that i’d been suicidal???? then sent letters about my attendance bc i barely attended uni for like 3~ish months from december-march time... and were threatening to kick me out which lead to this first ‘support meeting’ but the documents i got sent insinuated i was gonna be kicked out of the course regardless of the fact i was getting good grades????

i had that meeting in like may 2017? and they were discussing like whether i should be allowed to attend this summer school in shanghai that i went on [i did but i had a suicidal moment whilst out there bc of the stuff that had happened back here]... i got the notes back from the meeting and... wow. just wow. one part was insinuating i was a danger to other students and staff because i’d had suicidal tendencies. and they just went on and on about the well being and safety of other people completely disregarding... the fact... i wanted to die and had attempted that... like that alone to me is complete bullshit. there’s some other stuff as well but idk if i should say it’s supposed to be confidential wdojfnefdc i might expose it once i leave here tho bc it’s appalling????

like they ignored me after i had attempted suicide and it was a uni issue bc i’m in THEIR care and they were AWARE of VARIOUS CIRCUMSTANCES YET THEY WERE JUST LIKE NAH LET’S BLAME HER MAKE HER FEEL WORSE!!!!

so september 2017 comes around the summer i’d taken time to myself to recover etc and i had another one of those meetings, where i was told if i was ‘refusing’ to engage i would be kicked out or forced to defer and finish my degree at a later date. i was supposed to meet my lecturer every 2 weeks, and my mental health worker every two weeks. that happened for october and then!!!! my lecturer had a research trip for a month and never bothered to contact me like he promised, AND my mental health worker cancelled my appointments 3 times and i got an email to inform me she was sick and i would be contacted when she was back etc and i never got the email back...

i’ve been fine for the most part since then but of course personal things have happened that have made me have my moments and in december... with jonghyun... especially when it was the year anniversary of me like... being like that myself... i made a promise to him to try and graduate and not get like that ever again and mostly it’s been fine but... i’m still depressed and anxious etc it’s a long term thing i’ve dealt with but... it’s the fact my uni makes promises to take care of its students and then... has turned around to me and made me feel so unwelcome and stuff??? saying i’m dangerous to other people BECAUSE i’m mentally ill????? that’s not fucking okay????

and today i’ve found out SO much bullshit like they have favourite students, they refuse to mark stuff properly because they don’t want to influence the national average etc and other shitty excuses. AND THE FUCKING WORST.... RIGHT I STUDY PHOTOGRAPHY, SO YOU WOULD ASSUME... THAT THAT PHOTOGRAPHS WOULD BE CONSIDERED AS PART OF MARKING... APPARENTLY THEY DON’T REALLY MARK THEM :)))) LIKE???? SURELY.... SEEING... AS IT’S PHOTOGRAPHY.......THEY WOULD CONSIDER THAT AS PART OF MARKS......... BUT NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

i’m honestly fuming i hate this place so much i wish i’d never come here or done my fda through them either LMAO

[purplesurveys]

989

Bring it around town

Post Office: When’s the last time that you mailed a letter or a package to someone, and who was it to? I don’t think I’ve ever sent out a package. I’ve written letters to friends, but I’ve always given it directly to them.

Library: The last book that you checked out from the library? Was a book on Philippine history; needed it for a history class. I actually spilled some soup on the cover just before I needed to return it because there was one time I put a packed lunch in my bag, and apparently the oils from that managed to slither on over to the book. The book was old and yellowing so the oils eventually looked indistinguishable when I dried it out, but it was definitely not my finest moment.

Veterinarian: What was your pet’s last visit concerning? I wasn’t able to bring Cooper to the vet last weekend...so our last visit, which was last month, was for a couple of shots. I’ve forgotten what they were for.

Pet Store: Which animals do you tend to go check out first? I don’t go to pet stores. When I do spot them in malls, the first animals I see are dogs. And then I immediately feel bad seeing them in their tiny cages.

Drugstore: Last medication or item that you picked out from here? It was a couple of medications for the tooth extraction I had last December. One of them was for pain relief and the other was to stop bleeding just in case the area in my mouth that was worked on started to bleed profusely.

Grocery Store: Do you usually have a big list or a small list when you go? My parents do the grocery shopping; but speaking for them, I think the list is always big since we’re a family of five and we’re constantly running out of supplies lol. They certainly take a while every time they go to the grocery, so it’s a safe bet.

Church: Do you attend church every Sunday? Do you believe in God? We watch a livestream every Sunday; but no, I don’t believe. I’ve said this a thousand times but my mom is the most aggressive Catholic I know and she forces our entire family to attend/watch mass with her, even though she’s the only one who’s into the whole thing. 

I will say that the priest that we normally watch has very good insights and the things he says are applicable, relevant, and helpful even in my own little atheist life, so I've found myself looking forward to his homily every week. That’s the furthest I’ll go, though.

Bank: How much was the last check you deposited? How about the last amount that you took out? I just opened an account last month so the only money that’s in there so far is the minimum amount that my bank requires for someone to start an account. I did just finish my first month interning, so I’m now waiting to receive my cut from that and FINALLY GO ONLINE SHOPPING

Hospital: Have you ever been admitted into the emergency room? For what? Other than when I was being delivered, no. I’ve been to the hospital before but they were all non-emergency cases.

Doctor’s Office: What was the last doctor’s appointment that you had? Which type of a doctor? I honestly have no idea what his specialization is; my parents just brought me to him because he’s a good family friend. We went to him so that he can prescribe the proper medication for my UTI at the time. His recommendation did end up being wrong and I only got sicker so that was kinda disappointing, but I’ve mostly forgiven the whole thing lol.

Police Station: Have you ever been arrested before? Ridden in the back of  a police car? No to both of those, thank fuck.

Fire Station: Have you ever been a victim of a house fire? Not me, but I know of several people who have been.

School: When did you graduate high school? 2016.

Gas Station: How much gas can fit in your gas tank? If my tank is nearly empty and I’d want to fill it all the way up, I have to pay a little over P1000 for it.

Mechanics: Does your vehicle break down a lot? Nope. Other than the battery dying a couple of times throughout the time I’ve had it, it’s never broken down on me *while* I’m driving. That used to be one of my biggest anxieties as a student, but fortunately it never happened.

Clothing Store: What’s the last clothing item you bought from a store, and which store was it? I got several colors of the same top with puffed sleeves from an ukay-ukay. Ended up only wearing one of them outside once because the lockdown was passed down a week after.

Bookstore: Do you prefer to get your books new or used? It doesn’t really matter to me. If I spot a book I’ve been looking for/a book I find interesting whether I’m in a bookstore or in a used book store, I get my hands on it as long as I can afford it. The feeling of owning a fresh new book is always nice, but it’s also just as satisfying if I buy a book that’s like P500 down from its original price.

Coffee Shop/Cafe: What do you typically order when you go here? Iced caramel macchiato and a pastry, usually a chocolate doughnut, croissant, or flatbread.

Fast Food Restaurant: What are a few of your favorites? KFC, McDonald’s, Jollibee, Mang Inasal, Popeye’s.

Sit-Down Restaurant: What’s the longest you’ve ever had to wait before being seated? It was like 5 or 6 hours, I don’t remember anymore. But it was for Popeye’s grand opening in the Philippines and we didn’t anticipate how many people were gonna go for it on a weekday haha. We were all so grumpy by the time we got our food.

Dentist: Have you ever had a cavity before? How about a root canal? A tooth pulled? Braces? I’ve had three of those - I’ve had braces (and need them again), a tooth extracted, and a cavity. Idk what a root canal is but I’ve never heard a dentist use that term around me.

Movie Theater: Last movie you saw in theaters before the pandemic hit? Knives Out.

Art Gallery: Which art forms do you appreciate the most? I can look at oil paintings all day. I also love dioramas, especially if they’re illustrating historical events or historical places/cities. One of my favorite museums showcases Philippines’ entire history through dioramas (I think they have around 60 in total) and I have never gotten sick of going through them.

Zoo: What is your favorite zoo animal that you would like to set free? All of them. I’ve never felt nice visiting zoos, especially if the living conditions for the animals obviously suck, or if the cages are small, etc (which is the case for the most part). I prefer safaris or eco-parks, because even though they have the same concept at least the animals there have more space to move around.

Aquarium: Favorite kind of fish? I don’t really have one. I suppose stingrays look cool, but I’ll always remember them as the fish that killed Steve Irwin, so there’s that.

Museum: What kinds of artifacts fascinate you? Anything that shows everyday life of people from the past. I don’t really care for grander exhibits like replicas of galleon ships, but if you can show me the kind of plates people ate from, belts and jewelry that they wore, utensils they used, older bills and coins, etc., I’d be all over those. Animal fossils and bones are also always fun to see.

Amusement Park: Favorite ride to go on? Octopus, because that’s the only daring ride I’m willing to go on.

Courthouse: Have you ever gone to court before? Nopes.

Hotel/Motel: Where were you, the last time you stayed at a hotel? Cavite was my last hotel stay; but the last time I was at a hotel in general, it's the hotel my mom works in, somewhere in Metro Manila.

Club: What is the last song that you danced to? Caught In the Middle by Paramore. I think.

Bar: What’s your favorite alcoholic drink? Zombie and Long Island Iced Tea are my favorite cocktails. As for hard drinks, I usually go for tequila but I’m down to take any shot lol.

County Jail: Is there anyone that you’ve visited in jail? I’ve never done that.

Airport: Are you more likely to fly in an airplane, or pick people up/drop them off at the airport? Pick someone up/bring them to the airport. That’s literally how it is with my dad every few months because he works overseas.

Train Station: Have you ever ridden a train before? Just the once.

Concert Venue: What’s the last concert you saw? Paramore.

Sports Arena: Which sporting event would you be most likely to sit through? Pro wrestling or volleyball. Basketball is also fun to watch, but me never learning how the rules work has always ruined the viewing experience for me.

[bionic-beth]

[purplesurveys]

792

Who was the last person you had an intelligent debate with?: I don’t really have debates with anyone other than Gab or Angela. I’ll have deep discussions with my other friends, but they never turn into a debate.

Who was the last person who cooked something for you?:  My dad. Technically he just reheated stuff tonight, but he was still also the one who cooked for us this morning for breakfast.

Who was the last person who you heard singing?:  My mom. She does karaoke by herself one or two times a week for funsies and will sing songs from her day for an hour or so, and she did it tonight.

Who was the last person you kissed and it meant something?: Gabie, but it’s been a whilllllle. 

Who was the last person you were upset with?:  This girl that I’m classmates with for a layout class, Mikee. Horrible work ethic. So just for context, I currently have a grade of INC (Incomplete) for the layout class I took last semester because my prof wasn’t satisfied with our final output, which are a class magazine and a class newspaper; and when you have an INC, you typically have a year to fulfill the missing requirement/s (except in our case, we only have half a year because we have graduating students in the class, including me). Now that we’re inching closer to graduation and the college is supposed to release the official list of graduating students soon, I have to make sure ALL my grades are in. Mikee volunteered to be the one to contact our prof for submitting our work, and even though we’ve finished up and polished our revised outputs, she is taking FOREVER to email the prof for whatever fucking reason. I’m getting antsy by the hour and am desperate for a bit of urgency on her end because if my name doesn’t end up on the list of graduates I definitely wouldn’t hesitate to lash out on her.

Who was the last person you danced with?: Angela, Gabie, and Hans. And some other ADMU dudes I’ve never hung out with other than at that party.

Who was the last person you felt awkward around?: My dad. He made pancakes from scratch earlier and I think his measurements weren’t 100% spot on, because they came out incredibly dense and bland. I was already cranky enough this morning – and I still hadn’t known he made them himself – so I scowled when I took my first few bites because I thought it tasted off and even asked if it was some kind of vegetarian pancake. Once he said he made it from scratch, I felt awkward, shut up, and wolfed my plate down to show him that I enjoyed it and to make up for my horrid behavior just seconds before.

Who was the last person who borrowed something from you?: My mom borrowed my car (which is technically my parents’ anyway because they bought it lmao) to go to work today.

Who was the last person who showed you how to do something?: My dad. I wanted to get reacquainted with making stuff in the kitchen so he showed me how to cook hotdogs properly. I was already making them before, but after one time that one of our stove burners emitted a huge flame when I turned it on, I stopped making any food altogether for a while.

Who was the last person you went shopping with?: My mom.

Who was the last person you had a crush on?: Song Joong Ki hahaaaaaaah.

Who was the last person who made you cry?: The amazing actor from Descendants of the Sun playing the troubled rookie doctor. I looked him up and apparently he’s also one of the lead vocalists of SHINee, so he must be talented as all hell.

Who was the last person you shared a bed with?: Kimi, 45 seconds before he jumped off.

Who was the last person you got drunk with?: Angela, Hans, Gabie, Aids...I don’t remember the others anymore but they were cool and funny people. Idk, we were a big group so yeah.

Who was the last person who touched your hair?: Just me.

What was the last pair of shoes you wore?: A pair of Nikes to walk my dog.

What was the last birthday party you attended?: My cousin’s, aunt’s, and grandma’s. Their birthdays all fall on the same week in December, so it’s tradition for us to go over to my aunt’s to celebrate.

What was the last thing you said to your mother?: Something about thesis. I was telling her that I included her and dad and my four grandparents in my acknowledgments.

What was the last song you listened to?: I was listening to Beyoncé’s Homecoming a few hours ago but I’m too lazy to check what song was it I paused.

What was the last thing you thought about before going to sleep last night?: I wasn’t thinking of anything, I was just focused on falling asleep.

What was the last fun thing you did with your family?: Video-calling other relatives.

What was the last thing you borrowed from someone?: My dad’s earphones...and I’ve kept them for the meantime too lol thanks dad.

What was the last vegetable you ate?: String beans.

What was the last thing you bought online?: A Hydro Flask and several necklaces.

What was the last thing you had to drink?: I don’t *have* to drink it but I did make myself a cup of coffee tonight.

What was the last reason you went to see a doctor?: Had to get my eye checked. Sucks that I couldn’t and can’t have a follow-up appointment especially since my left eye still acts up from time to time.

What was the last non-food item you purchased?: Soju lmaaaaaooo.

What was the last type of yogurt you ate?: I hate yogurt.

What was the last fast food place you ate at?: Jollibee. We didn’t eat inside though, we just got the food delivered to our home. I think the last fast food place I was actually inside of was McDonald’s.

What was the last thing that bothered you and kept you awake?: I haven’t been bothered by anything in a while. Caffeine is the only thing keeping me up these days.

When was the last time you embarrassed yourself? I had sort of a Eureka moment earlier tonight when I suddenly recalled my paternal grandparents’ whole names. I had opted to use their nicknames in my acknowledgments and didn’t think anything of it, but then I remembered what their actual full first names were and then felt embarrassed within myself that I submitted a final draft with their nicknames. HAHAHA it’s a good things are less chill with the lockdown in place so I was able to explain and resubmit with the necessary revisions.

When was the last time you watched a movie with someone?: January-ish. I watched Hello Love Goodbye with Gabie.

When was the last time you charged your phone?: A few hours ago.

When was the last time you were sick with a cold?: It’s been...a while. I rarely get sick with anything so I don’t get to keep track of whenever I do.

When was the last time you spoke to a family member on the phone?: My birthday when my lola called.

When was the last time it rained where you live?: A couple of days ago, I think.

When was the last time you laid awake, unable to sleep?: This afternoon. I wanted to sleep the heat off, but it was just so uncomfortable I just ended up twisting and turning and sweating more. MAAAAAAN I can’t wait for June.

When was the last time you met someone new?: A week or so ago when I went on a following spree on this blog and started talking to a couple of them. Lol following spree in the survey community means following 3 or 4 blogs, but still.

When was the last time you filled up your car with petrol/gas?:  Gotta be the first week of March as that was the last time I was able to drive a lot.

When was the last time you ate popcorn?: Some months ago, I’m guessing? There was a brief time that my mom bought popcorn kernels to make bowls of popcorn for us, but we got tired of it pretty easily so there was no reason for her to keep buying more packs.

When was the last time you went to a school event?  I went to the Lantern Parade last December, as is tradition for my school’s community. I was mostly alone because my friends had to leave early and Gabie was stuck in traffic all evening and didn’t arrive til like, 9:30 PM, which sounds sad for me lol but it was still a fun experience.

When was the last time you took the trash out?: My parents don’t give me that task.

When was the last time you did anything to change your appearance?: Fucking March, a week before the lockdown. Okodlkjfffjsj don’t remind me I’m still pressed about it. No one got to see my short hair and bangs grrrrrrrr

When was the last time you cooked at home?: A week ago. I reconciled with the kitchen and cooked a couple of hotdogs hahaha. They’re frozen and literally a child could make them, but egh, I wanna have my moment too.

When was the last time you had a sleepover?: Honestly can’t remember. Start of the year maybe?

Where did you last go shopping for clothing?: Feliz. It’s my favorite place to find new clothes so yeah, you’ll always be hearing about Feliz. Where did you last go on a date to?: A study date at Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf and dinner at Yabu afterwards.

Where was the last wedding you went to?: 2007, my uncle and aunt’s. I had plans to go to my cousin Joelle’s wedding in Texas this year, but I think they postponed it which highkey ended up working well for them because it wouldn’t have happened under current circumstances anyway.

Where did you last park your car, other than home?: Gabie’s place.

Where did you last leave your keys?: On top of the dining room TV.

Where did your last kiss take place? By Gabie’s front door, I think.

Where did you last go for a walk to?: In front of the house and just a little farther, with my dog. He’s getting older so he gets tired easily and can’t go on the same walks we used to have, but I still make sure he gets his exercise.

Where did you last take a vacation to?: We had a weekend trip to Tagaytay and Cavite but honestly it felt like a quick getaway more than anything else. The last trip that felt like a vacation was when we went to Bicol.

Where did you last go to celebrate your own birthday?: I celebrated it at home.

Where was the last place you had dinner at?: Just at home, again.

Where did you last go to exercise?: I don’t exercise. < Ha, samesies.

Where did you last take public transport to?: Jum and I were going to the Senate building for a journalism class. That was the first and last time I took legit public transport.

Where does the last person you hung out with live?: Upper part of the city.

Where did you last visit for the first time?: Uhhhh I think it was the salon I went to to get my hair done.

Where did you last take a photo?: On the floor of the dining area, to take selfies with my dog.