#i’m still alive!! trust me i think of them *very* often still i just don’t have much to show for it. please accept this really silly doodle

[kr-210-r2700-prime]

myself, discord, 10:01pm:

“…most definitely be stickers. any and all kinds of stickers. decorate your metal wife awesome style. half-tempted to say a majority of the stickers would be gold stars or those “good job!” stickers that they tack onto him with reckless abandon”

[gay-dorito-dust]

Either college or old man Ford being with someone who, even after all the years theyve spent together, still looks at them like a lovesick puppy

like theyre blushing and getting flustered when he rests his hands on their waist or doing normal couple stuff, etc.

it's like their mind still doesn't register that they're together and instead, to cope, just proceeded to have the most down bad crush on their HUSBAND

(like that one reddit post LMAOO)

You knew that you were staring but you didn’t care, and you knew that Ford knew that you were staring and yet you didn’t care when the finest man in existence was before you and was also your husband?!

You still found it impossible to come to terms that this silver fox was yours forever and always, you still get flustered when he compliments you and your bed head, even more so when he cups your cheeks in his hands and kisses your forehead.

You really shouldn’t be this badly affected after being with Ford for so long, but you couldn’t help it! Your husband was hot and you’d be blind to not take time out of your day to stare at him, shamelessly admiring his aging face and silver fluffy hair that looked like storm clouds! It was unfair that Ford looked so effortlessly beautiful no matter what he did that it left you swooning and pining after him like a lovesick fool, you’d find yourself asking if he was single…

Only to remember that you were married to him and got to see him be so effortlessly handsome every damn day of your life and you end up smiling stupidly.

‘You alright my love?’ Ford asked and you internally squealed like a little girl.

‘I am just perfectly fine my dear, just admiring my beautiful and talented and smart husband is all.’ You admitted also sheepishly as though you were confessing to him all over again as you felt the best rush to your cheeks and tips of your ears.

Ford smiled softly as he walked over to you and held your face in his hands, feeling the warmth radiation off of your cheeks as he caressed them; After all this time together Ford was aware of the fact he still held some power over you and he couldn’t help but feel flattered at how little had changed from then to now.

It was charming and sweet and kind of you to still look at him through the lens you did since your time at college together, he didn’t feel like he deserved it, but he knew that feeling would fade the moment he looked into your eyes and saw the abundance of love you held for him was still thriving and very much alive.

‘That is very sweet of you my dear,’ Ford said softly as he kissed your forehead, ‘you truly enlighten me with your love and affection that I can not thank you enough for marrying this old fool.’ He chuckled as he saw your eyes widened as though you still weren’t accustomed to the reality that you two were indeed married and have been for the past two months. Ford often wondered what what off in that head of yours but from the look within your eyes, he already knew his answer and couldn’t help but find it endearing.

‘I’d be the fool if I didn’t marry you Ford, even a bigger fool if I didn’t say anything back in college. I think I’d fight myself if i didn’t.’ You admitted as you thought of an alternate universe where you didn’t spill your guts to Ford back in college, you honestly didn’t want to think of where your life would’ve been like had you not married Ford as you were certain it was one full of regret and longing for what could’ve been. So you thanked god every night as you cuddled up to him in your shared bed that you got to live in a reality where you got Ford to be yous in every aspect possible.

Ford chuckled. ‘I highly doubt there is one where we don’t end up together my darling, and trust me I’ve been through the entire multiverse for the past thirty years.’ His eyes then soften as he rests his forehead against yours, causing your whole body to heat up at the action as you found yourself melting into him and his warmth. ‘I’m just happy that you were willing to wait so long for me. So, so happy.’ He adds in a whisper.

You nudged his noses with yours, flighting off the butterflies that were now within your stomach and running rampant at his words alone. ‘I would’ve waited far longer if needed just to see you home safe and sound.’ You told him as you kissed his nose and cheeks softly, happy to be in his arms and breath him in, content in knowing that he was here and that he was real unlike the dreams you had in the past. ‘So don’t thank me for doing something I would’ve done ten times over. You deserve as such Ford.’ You add as you pecked him lightly on the lips reassuringly.

‘Still I must thank my adorning wife/husband/spouse for being by my side when they had every right to walk away.’ Ford said as he tugged you closer to his chest, just innocently holding you in his arms lovingly but yet you couldn’t help but feel your heart hammer in your chest at being so close with him as you burrowed your face into his heck.

‘Your wife/husband/spouse is just happy to see you home where you’d belong with your family.’ You murmured again his red turtleneck, holding his waist tightly as you indulged in his comforting scent, something you loved about him that rivalled your love for his six fingers.

‘And I’m happy that I get the opportunity to call you my wife/husband/spouse.’ Ford admits as he kisses the top of your head before nuzzling his face into your neck, pressing a tender kiss there which made your breath hitch in your throat. ‘I love you my darling, so, so much.’ He whispers as though it was something that would only be shared between the two of you, like no one else is allowed to hear such talk between lovers and soulmates.

Your love for Ford was insurmountable, no words could properly describe just how much you love this man that you were more then willing to rip heaven and hell for, to rip through time and space just to see him home safe, anything if it meant seeing a man as sweet and loving as him smile that adorable smile of his in your direction.

You needed Ford like you needed air to breathe, water to drink and food to eat. Ford was a necessity for your survival and you weren’t going to let him go ever again, for you didn’t know how you’d be able to cope without him again.

Sure you might still have an embarrassingly massive crush on your husband, and become flustered every time he held your hand, kissed your forehead or even looked at you lovingly but you weren’t ashamed of it as it just meant that you were that your love rang true even after so long. If anything it meant that your love was stronger then most that fizzle out after a certain period of time, and yet you couldn’t help but smile stupidly and look away whether Ford complimented you or engulfed your hand with his own.

Ford was your best friend, husband and your crush all at the same time and you were more then happy to have finally gotten your happy ending with him, all the while staying perpetually in love with him regardless of the passage of time because Ford was so much more then your husband but he was massive part of yourself that you couldn’t live without nor intend to.

‘I love you so much my beloved Ford.’ You said as you rested your eyes and listened in on his strong heartbeat that told you he was alive as he held you tighter. ‘So very, very much.’

‘Then I hope you keep loving me for a long time.’ Ford confessed as he kissed your neck some more.

‘And I’ll promise to love you for an even longer amount of time after that.’ You admit as you moved your neck so that he’d have more access as you clutched onto him, smiling dopey as you felt as though you were on cloud nine within your husbands arms, blissed out of your mind as it ran rampant with ideas for the rest of your shared lives together.

[obbystars]

Hello! I was amaze by your sabastian x reader fic especially "it's you!" in the flash back part where sebastian where still alive and talking with reader abt going on an aquarium date soooo I want to request the part where they actually having a date at the aquarium they were talking about? That would would be so cute if you ask me!thank u! c:

(You know what they say. All toasters toast toast!)

(AQUARIUM DATE AQUARIUM DATE AQUARIUM DATE AQUARIUM- sorry. ANYWAY TOTALLYYYY I have been thinking about it lately tbh and I guess this request is kinda a push and my brain is like “OKAY LETS GO IT!” I’m glad you’re liking the fics I’ve been making! I hope you all know I giggle like a maniac whenever you guys say you like them, makes me so happy :)))

Notes: Sebastian Solace x GN!Reader / AQUARIUM DATEEEEE i’ll stop / takes place before the events of Pressure / FLUFFFFFFF / Connected to both It’s You! and Drown in the Deep, can be read as a standalone / Reader and Sebastian are both still in college / Angst because I couldn’t resist / Fairly short, sorry :(

“You are so lucky my sister let us borrow her car,”

You lightly batted his arm with a laugh, “You say that like it’s a bad thing,”

“Because she’ll kill me if this thing even gets a small scratch!”

“Mmhmm, and who was the one who offered to drive us there?”

Sebastian gives you a quick glance, but you still noticed the look he gave, “She wouldn’t even be mad at you if you were driving. She adores you for some reason,”

Your eyes widened, “…wait, really?”

“Yeah, last time we spoke, she would not stop asking me about you and when you two can meet up to talk more,”

Well, you made one hell of a first impression. You’re glad she does at least like you and is looking forward to meeting with you again. You feel kind of flattered and relieved.

“So,” you turn to him, “Why can’t I drive?”

“Because I don’t trust you behind the wheel,”

You stifled a laugh as you turned your attention towards the window. You decided to change the subject.

“You know, I’d love to meet your family again. Classes are a pain though. Maybe when we head back, I could stay for dinner? I don’t have that much work piled up on me right now,”

Though faint, you can see him smiling, “I know my sister will be overjoyed to see you. I think my mom likes you too, she never gave me a clear answer on it though,”

Your face drops slightly. Now the pressure’s on. You didn’t exactly talk to his mom last time you were there besides the introduction part of it. As for his brother, you didn’t get a chance to talk to him which made you assume he was shy. You do remember spotting him and his sister eavesdropping on you and Sebastian. He also caught them and wasn’t very happy about it.

When you two finally arrived and were allowed to go in, Sebastian practically had to hold you so you wouldn’t run off due to being so excited. Sometimes he’d keep you in place, other times he’d let you drag him. When looking at the brochure, you were especially excited about the fish that often liked the dark. He still doesn’t see why, but you’re having fun and he’s been enjoying the time here.

“Oh! Sebastian, look!” You exclaimed, “A mantis shrimp!”

The mantis shrimp was just hiding in its little cave.

“It’s a freaky looking thing,” he laughed.

“It is. I heard that they’re capable of tuning the sensitivity of their vision to adapt to their environment. Isn’t that so cool?”

“What I would give to have something like that…”

“I know!” You smiled, “I kinda wish they had anglerfish though. I heard they’re just generally hard to manage, so you never see them in aquariums,”

Sebastian stands up straight and looks at you, “Aren’t those the fish with the light on their head?”

“Yeah. Only the females have it, and it’s used to attract both prey and a mate. They’ve got a freaky way to reproduce, if you want to hear,”

You see him think about it for a minute.

“I’ll bite. How do they reproduce?”

It’s safe to say Sebastian will never ask a question like that again if the sentence prior was “They’ve got a freaky way to reproduce.” What he heard was not what he expected at all. It was parasitic and the image in his head definitely wasn’t pretty.

You continued to tell him fun little facts of a few of the fish you saw. He mostly only responded with a hum or an “oh yeah” but you still continued. He never stopped you as it looked like you were having a lot of fun.

When you got to the long tunnel with the fish swimming around, you both decided to rest there for a bit. It’s been a few hours anyway, plus it’ll be nice to just watch the fish swim by. There were turtles, stingrays, and many others some you could name while others were unfamiliar. There was even a few sea urchin sitting in one of the corners.

You were about to say something until you turned to Sebastian and took a good look at his expression. You smiled and said nothing as you leaned your back against the glass, following where his gaze was. You wonder if this is what he saw in his dream on the night you two discussed on coming here. Drifting in the water as the fish swam around you, you wonder if he felt cold. He said he didn’t feel like he was drowning, so maybe he actually felt warm.

But when you asked if it was a nightmare, he alluded to it. You wonder what he saw… Or maybe he didn’t see anything. Maybe that’s why it was a nightmare, or at least close to it. The dark abyss is a terrifying place as not a lot is known due to the water pressure and the lack of light. Fear of the unknown, so to say.

Your smile faded slightly. You turn to him and lightly give him a shoulder bump.

“Hey, you having fun?”

He continued to stare up at the fish for a moment before turning to you, “If I wasn’t, you’d know. Why? Are you not having fun?” He teased.

“No, I was just making sure,” you laughed.

“To be honest, it gets a bit interesting when you start to nerd out about some of the fish here,” he then smiles, “But I didn’t think you were THAT much of a nerd,”

“Aha-! Yeah, I may or may have not been watching a lot of videos about fish…”

“You were that excited about this, huh? Were you also trying to impress me?”

“No! Not at all!” You paused, “M-Maybe a little..”

Sebastian laughed when you admitted it, then stands up, “We should keep moving. Aren’t the sharks just up ahead?”

“Oh yeah,” you take out the brochure, “It looks like we’re almost done too. We haven’t had lunch yet either. You hungry?”

“A little. Didn’t we pass the food court already?”

“We did… How about we go back and grab something then?”

“As long as you’re paying,”

“Ugh! Fine,”

Sebastian grabbed your hand and pulled you up to your feet. He didn’t let go as you two walked down the hall. You perked up and decided to throw another factoid at him.

“Hey, did you know you can really just redirect a shark by just setting your hand on their nose and gently pushing them the other way?”

He looks at you, not exactly believing you, “It can’t be THAT easy,”

“I’m serious! It is that easy! Maybe it’ll be harder when it’s a great white shark though,”

“Obviously, those things are massive,”

You continued to talk about sharks with him until you two made it back to the food court. Sebastian ended up paying for your food as long as you paid for his.

Sebastian stares out into the dark abyss beyond the glass. It was usually empty, but sometimes the many-eyed shark was there. And sometimes she’d notice him. He wondered if she recognized him as the one who freed her. He wondered why she stayed when freedom was right there for her. Revenge, perhaps? That he can understand. What he was doing was for the same reason.

Just then, he sees a familiar green glow of the shark passing by. She was close enough to notice him, and for a second, she did look at him. She never really stayed around, nor has he ever heard her speak in his head. He remembers how you spoke of sharks all those years ago. He wondered if you’d think she was a beautiful shark despite what they’ve done to her.

Unexpectedly, she lingers around for a while. He doesn’t pay her any mind as she swims back and forth, occasionally looking at him. He continues to just stare out the window, looking at nothing in particular.

How would you react to him? Would you even recognize him? Remember his voice? Ten years is a long time, after all. Though, he doubts there is even the smallest chance you two could meet, let alone in this facility. He hoped not.

It’s quiet.

He never thought he’d hate silence. It was almost never quiet when you were with him. You always had something to tell him, no matter how small it may have been, and he’d always listen. Even when you don’t think he’s listening, he was. No matter how long you went on and on about something, he was always listening.

Even if he were to be freed from this place, what then? What home does he have to return to?

[itwasntimethatdidit40]

Be still, my foolish heart.

Pairing/Au: Soft single dad!Joel Miller x Curvy f!reader, no outbreak

Words count: 8816 (I know, I’m sorry 💀)

Rating: +18, MDNI, NSFW

Summary: A meet cute at the clinic where you work leads to finding the best date you could ask for… our one and only Joel Miller.

Warnings: pov second person, no use of y/n, meet cute, a little bit of a slow burn, reader is curvy, has breasts and vagina and wears a dress, apart from that no other specific description is given, age gap (reader is 35, Joel is 46), Joel is a single dad and he is soft (what can I say, I’m a sucker for a soft Joel okay), reader doesn’t trust Joel immediately and she thinks he might be dangerous (he’s not, he’s cutest), Sarah is alive and well and she’s mentioned multiple times, mention of Tommy, Joel is a contractor, unprotected p in v (wrap it up IRL, folks!), pussy pronouns, mention of use of oral contraceptives (reader is on the pill), fingering (f receiving), oral (m and f receiving), dirty talks, elderly people being fragile and sick, slight mention of Joel’s prescriptions including antidepressant (game Joel took it so I put it in there), I know that prescribing medicine doesn't exactly work like that in America (not even in Italy for that matter) but allow me a poetic license (😂), reader has insecurities about her body, mention of bullying and previous toxic relationships that reader has been subjected to, internal reader’s voice inserts, pet names (pretty lady, good girl, honey, sunshine, baby, babe, angel), squirting (not specifically mentioned but still), Joel is feral and reader too.

I don't think I forgot anything but if I notice it I'll add it right away.

I made a mood board for the first time in my life, I know it's not great but I tried 💀 English is not my first language so please be gentle (I also have Covid at the moment… yeah, it’s 2024 and I caught it for the third time, lucky me), I hope there aren't too many mistakes, no beta so it's all my fault LOL, no proofreading. Title is an Hozier quote. Of course, because I love this man.

Oh sh*t, here’s what I was forgetting: the mirror scene is inspired by Polin (yep, it was a great scene ❤️) but I think I personalized and changed it enough to make it just Joel and reader's, at least I hope.

(Reader works in a clinic because I do this job so yes, she has this thing in common with me besides being curvy. Every time I write a curvy reader is so personal to me)

I might write something else about these two if you like, I really love this pairing and I hope I’m not the only one, comments and reblogs are very much appreciated! Thanks to anyone who will read this 💐

You are at your desk, absorbed in an email you are writing to a patient who is asking for prescriptions for medicines. The clinic is empty and quiet and this doesn’t happen often so you’re trying to keep up with emails and messages and phone calls that you have received in the last hour.

Suddenly the door opens and a man enters the clinic, at first you don't even look at him, you just say "Good morning" and continue typing.

He clears his throat and says “good morning” and stops in front of you, on the other side of the desk. He’s clearly waiting for you to shift your attention to him so you turn and look at him. For a moment you’re speechless. He’s a gorgeous man.

Tall and broad, dark hair slightly streaked with silver, strong aquiline nose, beard and mustache framing a pair of plump lips, perfectly designed jawline and neck.

Stunning.

You didn’t expect anyone like this ‘cause really, the doctor you work for has hundreds of elderly patients or families with children and you have never been interested in married men, you don’t even look at them but anyway, you never saw a single person that was attractive to you in this place before.

You smile politely as you ask “do you need anything?” and you want to sink into your seat because you don't even have makeup on and you're wearing the first things you found in the closet this morning. An old pair of jeans and a black top.

“Yes please, I need some prescriptions. I just changed doctor because my previous one is now retired. I always sent an email to his secretary but this is the first time I've asked for my prescriptions here so I thought I'd stop by in person especially since I was in the area. I’m working in the building next door”

Bingo.

That’s why you never saw him.

You quickly look at his hand on the desk for a ring and it’s not there.

His hands are gorgeous though, big strong working and experienced hands.

“Sure, can you tell me your name please?” you ask trying to keep your tone professional while being excited to know more about him.

“Joel Miller” he says and you find the way his tongue rolls up to pronounce the r at the end so delicious it’s almost embarrassing.

For a moment you're almost afraid he might hear your thoughts.

You turn back to the computer typing in his name and a moment later his medical records appear.

46 years old, born in late September, he lives in Austin. You look at his prescriptions and notice a reflux medication, another for high blood pressure, and an antidepressant.

Oh.

What happened to him?

“Well, Mister Miller, what do you need today?”

“You don’t have to call me Mister Miller, even if you’re younger than me I think?”

You look down in bewilderment, not expecting much familiarity from him since it’s the first time you’ve seen him but you answer anyway “Yes, actually. I’m 35”

“So you can call me Joel” he says with a smile that tugs at the corner of his mouth and hopeful eyes of someone who asks not to make him feel old.

“Of course I can” you hurry to answer “So… Joel, what do you need today?”

He gives you a grateful look and replies, “I don’t remember what it’s called but… my medicine for high blood pressure.”

“Oh yes, this one” you nod and proceed to prepare it, “just a moment, Mr Miller… uhm I meant Joel, I need to get the doctor to sign it,” you tell him as the printer gurgles, spitting out the prescription paper.

You stand up from your chair, feeling your legs a little unsteady, and once you’re in front of him his height impresses you even more. He’s imposing, you’re a curvy girl and yet you feel so tiny in front of him.

You notice that he looks you up and down and seems pleased, his eyes reflecting an approval that makes you very satisfied.

You move quickly to the doctor's office, enter apologizing and have him sign the prescription. When you leave you find him standing in front of your desk waiting, he looks at you again and you notice a certain sparkle in his eyes.

"Here you go" you say and hand him the prescription.

You feel his fingers lightly brush yours and a shiver of pleasure runs down your spine.

“Thank you,” he smiles at you, “you are very kind.”

“No problem, have a good day,” and you approach the desk to sit down again. You see him hesitate for a moment, as if he wanted to add something.

“Do you need anything else?” You ask curiously and a part of you really hopes that he will ask you for your phone number or if you want to go get a drink after work.

“Oh no, no thanks, see you next time”

His gaze drops to the floor as he says this, as if he's embarrassed, which you like because it feels like you're not the only one in the room who's been pleasantly shaken up by this encounter.

He puts his hand on the door handle and turns once more, smiling shyly.

You smile back feeling a sense of tenderness so premature that you wonder if you're losing your mind.

You go back to work but all you think about is him, you want to know more.

You enter his name again in the search bar and reopen his folder. Joel Miller. You wonder who he really is and what he does but apart from his pathologies and his date of birth you don't find much else about him. His address is there but you certainly won't use it for unorthodox purposes such as accidentally ending up in his neighborhood, you would pass for a stalker as well as a very unprofessional secretary.

Nothing stops you from noticing that he lives in a very quiet residential neighborhood though.

Will he be married? There are men who do not wear a wedding ring so it might not be safe to rely only on the fact of not having seen it.

You hesitate a bit before doing so because you already feel awkward enough for someone you've only seen once but in the end you type his address in the search bar to see if other people who live with him in the same house appear, usually families tend to have the same doctor for convenience.

You hold your breath as you stare at the white screen waiting and after a few seconds a result appears.

Sarah Miller.

“There I knew it, he’s married” you think, huffing and shrugging, but then you look better and realize that this Sarah is 14 years old. “So… he has a daughter”

No one else showed up in the results so you assume he is not married but he may have been and then got divorced. Unless his wife chose another doctor but that seems very strange to you.

You contemplate trying to Google his name but then decide it's best to wait until you get home, you can't use the work computer for personal stuff.

You sigh and go back to your work, completing your search just a second before the doctor comes out and asks you if you have any urgent messages.

Today everything is strangely quiet though, even if you wasted time looking for information on Joel you finish all the work, not without thinking about him at least once an hour. You feel silly, you shouldn’t have any kind of thought about someone you don’t know and with whom you have only exchanged a few words, the fact that he seemed interested and that he was about to ask something while he was about to leave could also be false projections that you have made in your head. And yet…once home, after taking a shower and putting on clean pajamas, you throw yourself on the sofa nibbling on a sandwich and open your laptop.

You open Google and type his name and the first result that comes up is “Miller - construction company”

It could be him, now that you think about it he mentioned he was working on the building next door which is in fact under construction.

You scroll down to the bottom of the page where the owners are listed and you see two names, Joel and Tommy Miller. You assume that Tommy is his brother. You go back to the Google page for a moment and check if there are any namesakes but no one else in the city has the same name. And just like that, you know what he does.

You don’t think you can do anything with this information, you live in a new apartment and everything is in perfect working order so you just have to wait. Before leaving he said “see you next time”, so now you find yourself wondering when the next time will be. Probably in a month, when he will need a new prescription.

Such a long time. But maybe this will help you, you tell yourself. It's just a passing thing, you tell yourself. You can't be so foolish as to project your fantasies onto him. You decide that this is okay, you'll just get over it.

_____________________

After a week you almost got Joel out of your mind. You worked quietly, met the usual old people who came to the clinic to be examined, no sign of him. You'd be lying if you didn't think about it anymore but you stopped yourself from doing something foolish like contacting him for a fake construction job to try to meet him.

You are preparing some prescriptions when the doctor comes out of the office and asks if you could please take some medicine to the home of a very elderly patient. It is something you usually do not do but the caregiver cannot leave her alone and her son is away for work all week so she had no choice but asking you to do that. It will take up extra time because you will have to go to the pharmacy and then to her house, the doctor offers to pay you overtime but you know the lady and say that it is not a problem, you can do it without compensation.

Of course you can do that for Rose.

When she was better and could move around quite independently you often talked when she came to the clinic, she immediately took a liking to you and treated you like a niece, she would bring you gifts, vegetables from her garden, other times sweets cooked by her.

She is a dear lady, you are happy to be able to do her a favor.

At 5:00 you leave the office and head to the pharmacy, pick up her prescriptions, and get back in the car to drive to her neighborhood.

Rose lives in a nice street with many rather large houses, well-kept gardens and white picket fences.

You knock on the door and Georgia, the caregiver hired by Rose's family to assist her, opens it.

You already know her, she has accompanied Rose to the clinic many times but lately her health has worsened a lot and she can no longer leave the house.

“Hi, Georgia! I I brought Rose’s medicines”

“Hey! How long has it been since we saw each other? Come in!” She says with a big smile.

Georgia is a very sweet person and a great professional, she has taken great care of Rose all these years. She is a qualified nurse and the granddaughter of a long time friend of Rose. Georgia had moved to Texas from Arkansas to attend college and since then she had always lived at her grandmother's house, who lived a few miles from Rose's house.

She took the job because she loved her and when her grandmother passed away Rose was very close to her.

Georgia offers you a coffee and some chocolate cookies she has prepared, which you gladly accept.

You chat a little while Rose is resting and then when it's time to wake her up to take her evening medicine you accompany Georgia to her room to say goodbye to Rose.

She is lying motionless in a bed, now forced to ask Georgia for help with everything, she is almost 85 years old now and you are so sorry to see her like this. Until a few years ago she was an energetic, witty woman, with lots of hobbies, she loved reading, gardening, cooking and going to the movies. Now she was a ghost of herself. And the worst thing was probably that her mind was still working, so she realized what was happening to her and this made her even sadder and more helpless. Her body did not respond, while her mind understood everything.

She recognizes you right away and greets you so sweetly with her now faint voice. It breaks your heart to see her like this.

She asks you for a hug and you put your arms around her little shoulders, holding her gently. She's always been good to you, she doesn't deserve this.

You leave the room, wiping away a tear, without letting Rose see you, and say goodbye to Georgia, promising to come back and visit them soon.

You stand in the driveway feeling helpless for a moment, you would like to do so much more. Some patients have become like an extended family to you, you have known them for years and seeing some of them fold in on themselves, increasingly frail and elderly is so bad.

You look up and see a black pickup truck driving down the road. There’s a man in it and he looks familiar. He pulls into the driveway two houses down and gets out. And oh, shit.

It’s Joel.

Joel Miller.

He lives in the same neighborhood as Rose and you didn’t even registered that in your mind before.

You don't know what to do, whether to get in the car and drive away pretending nothing happened or take the opportunity and go say hello to him.

It seems silly to say hello to someone you've only seen once, no matter how attractive they are. You walk to your car, rummaging through your bag for your keys.

You're about to curse because never once do you find something in your bag, it doesn't even matter what it is. Big bag? You find nothing. Small bag? You find nothing either.

Your eyes move for a moment to the asphalt and you see two boots approaching, you look up again and you see two legs wrapped in dark jeans streaked with paint and of course to those legs is attached the rest of Joel Miller's wonderful body.

Your eyes widen and you watch him stop in front of you, beautiful as a God. Even more beautiful than the first time you saw him.

“Hi! I saw you across the street and I was pretty sure it was you. I almost made a fool of myself, but hey, I was right!”

You lose your words, it's as if they've slipped out of your brain and melted at your feet.

At least you solved a dilemma, he greeted you first.

“Hi” you say shyly.

This doesn't make you any less nervous, you were trying to sneak out of this neighborhood unnoticed and you could say that he ruined everything and you don't know him well enough to know whether to be grateful or keep running away pretending to be very busy.

He has a daughter, a respectable job, a brother, lives in a nice neighborhood, and seems to lead a regular life. Is that enough to trust these days? Probably not.

This dude can be anyone, a serial killer, a criminal, a drug dealer, a thief, whatever.

How do you know he doesn't sleep with a gun on his nightstand or keep dead bodies in his basement?

Trust no one, is something you learned from a very early age and you always stood by it, safety first.

Have you been wanting to see him again for a whole week? Yes.

Did you just realize that you know nothing and that you might be risking something? This too.

“Can I ask why you’re here?” He asks, running his hand through his curls in a way that drives you instantly wild.

God, why is he so gorgeous, this doesn’t help at all.

You can always run to Rose and call the police if he suggests something strange and you’re in the middle of the street in broad daylight so you decide to take the risk and say the truth

“I came to deliver medicines to a lady who lives here” you reply, acting like he doesn’t have any kind of effect on you.

“Oh, so this is something you do? I didn’t know that”

“No, not regularly. I actually did it because it’s Rose, you know. She’s an adorable old lady”

He nods as if he knows exactly what you're talking about and actually says, "Sure, Rose. I know her. She used to babysit my daughter many years ago."

Okay, those are some great credentials. So maybe you can trust Joel Miller? Isn't he a lunatic homicidal? Maybe not.

Obviously you pretend you don’t know anything about Sarah and ask, “Oh really? You have a daughter?” raising your voice in surprise for a better result.

“Yeah I do. She's 14 years old and she's already giving me a hard time, she’s so smart and responsible that she’s basically parenting me” he shrugs while a little smile tugs at the corners of his mouth. You can see in his eyes how proud he is of her.

You giggle “well, she sounds so cool, I do love a tough girl.”

“Oh, she’s definitely your girl then”

You smile and think that after all, yes, Joel probably doesn't have any horrible skeletons in his closet.

And again he falls silent and looks uncertain and embarrassed, he lowers his eyes and then asks you, “You know, I’m going to be working in the building next to where you work for a little while longer, so I was wondering if you’d like to have a coffee with me sometime?”

It’s like every word is bouncing around in your head as you think about what to say. Would you like to get to know him better? The answer in the end is, “Yes, I would like to, thank you” you feel your face heat up as you say it.

Joel shifts his weight from one leg to the other as he looks at you, he seems nervous, excited but above all happy.

“I’m glad you accepted. So…what do you think about tomorrow?”

“Okay, I have lunch break from 12 to 2, is 1 okay for you?”

You see his face light up “sure that’s fine. See you tomorrow then”

For a moment he raises his arm as if he wants to come closer and touch you, but then he immediately lets it slide down his side.

Gentleman, you note in your head.

It is not yet the time for such confidence, but secretly you hope that it will come soon.

You say goodbye to him and get back in the car and you see him waving at you in the rearview mirror.

“God, Joel Miller, I already know you’re going to be a threat for me. In the best sense of the word.”

_________________________

In the weeks that follow, you and Joel share a lot of coffees. Every day he waits for you outside the clinic at 1:00 sharp, you go to the corner café and chat for an hour before returning to work. He tells you a lot of things about himself and his life which you adore listening about.

He also confides in you that he was in therapy and had to use antidepressants for a period of time, when Sarah's mother abandoned them. You completely understand.

And the more you talk to him the more you get convinced that he’s a great person, you don’t have any doubt about that.

He never fails to compliment you, on your clothes, on your hair, on your eyes, on your nail polish.

He laughingly admits that the compliment about the nail polish was Sarah’s suggestion. “Dad, she told me, girls like it when you notice details.”

You laugh out loud and nod. “She’s right. And you’re right, too, you have a very smart daughter.”

He shrugs “I know,” and then adds. “It’s been so long since I’ve dated anyone, I don’t even remember how to do it anymore.” You lean slightly across the table and whisper. “Well, I think you’re doing great.” And it’s true. You feel spoiled like a queen.

He gives you a mischievous smile “oh yeah?”

“Yes, definitely” And you want to kiss him right there, in that crowded café.

Yet a voice inside you still can’t understand how someone like him, who could have all the women he wants, is inviting you, a curvy girl.

You shouldn’t, but you still have those latent insecurities from when you were 15 and boys in your class made fun of you. Somewhere inside you there is still that fragile and wounded teenager who thinks it’s impossible that someone could truly love you. Or even just desire you.

And you hate it, because Joel has done nothing but show you how much he enjoys spending time with you. And his compliments have always sounded sincere, his eyes are, they send you a reassuring image, full of admiration. He seems truly interested in you.

You're still in this internal monologue where you curse yourself for being like this when he asks you, "Would you like to go out to dinner tonight?"

Oh. He did it. He took the next step.

With your heart pounding in your chest and your mouth unable to help but curl into a smile you answer “yes!” a little too loudly.

You put a hand over your mouth as he looks at you amused “well, I’m glad you’re so excited about the idea. Should I pick you up at 8?”

“Yes, that sounds perfect” you reply, quietly this time but with a little firecracker in your chest that keeps banging where your heart is.

You finish your coffee and go out and he asks for your address which he writes down on his phone. You try to say that there is no need for him to bother but he insists on picking you up.

“Do you like Italian food?”

“I love it”

“Good, see you tonight” and this time his hand wraps around your arm and squeezes lightly as he leans down to give you a kiss on the cheek.

You return to the clinic feeling like you're walking on clouds.

You come home after working as hard as you can while still feeling anxious and completely unsure of what to wear. You know you didn't do anything wrong and that's a relief because you certainly can't mess up your patients' medications.

You jump in the shower, mentally going over everything in your closet. You decide to exclude any black dress because no, simply no. It's a special day and you want to wear a color. Maybe the green dress? No, green doesn't suit you, you don't even know why you bought it. Maybe the red one? But that one is very low-cut and you've rarely felt good enough to wear it. Maybe the blue one? The blue one is low-cut, but not too low-cut, it hugs you in the right way, it doesn't highlight what you don't want. Yes, maybe it's the right choice.

You hum in the shower as you wash your hair, satisfied with your decision.

You come out feeling invincible. Joel Miller has asked you to dinner. It’s been years since anyone has asked you out. You didn’t like the ones who did, and God only knows how much you miss good sex. Someone who touches you just right. Someone who makes you sigh and whimper and feel alive in his arms.

Someone who kisses you and leaves you breathless and doesn't hesitate to make you feel simply amazing as he goes down between your thighs.

Joel seems to have all the makings and miraculously seems eager to give you exactly that.

You slip into the dress and look at yourself in the mirror. You like the image it reflects. To hell with those stupid kids who always gave you shit and made you feel horrible.

You're going out to dinner with Joel Miller tonight.

Joel fucking Miller who in the high school categorization is the equivalent of the football quarterback.

The High School Prom King.

God, that makes you feel so good.

He rings the doorbell at 8:00 sharp, just as you’ve finished putting on your favorite lipstick. You take a deep breath as you go to open the door, placing your hand on the handle, and mentally preparing yourself for what you’ll find on the other side.

Finally you open it and he’s perfect. He looks like a painting framed by your door.

You stifle a scream with all your strength and say “hello” to him in a high pitched voice.

Goddamn you.

He doesn't even seem to notice. “So, miss, are you ready?”

“Sure, thank you.”

You grab your bag from the hall table and walk out with him. He takes your hand as he walks you to his pick up truck, opens the door and helps you get in.

Once in the driver's seat he turns to you and says "you look incredible tonight"

And you're about to say that after all you could skip dinner, who cares, instead you could go to your room and fuck. But you decide to behave as well as him, this man has a daughter to take care of and it seems like he's not looking for a one night stand judging by how many coffees he's offered you and how much he's put in to get to know you, so much so that by the second time he could order for you with his eyes closed, so you just say “you too” with the biggest smile widening on your face.

And oh, it's so true. He left aside the flannel shirts and the worn jeans and with them he was already the most attractive man who had ever caught your eye.

He’s wearing dark blue jeans and a beige shirt that hugs his strong biceps. You can glimpse his soft tummy as he drives, the last button before his belt tightening in a delicious way, his meaty thighs wrapped in those jeans are mouth watering.

The work he does makes him muscular in all the right places.

The car stops in front of the restaurant and he opens the door for you again. He lets you enter the restaurant first, he addresses the waitress politely and they place you at the best table in the restaurant. You are impressed, he did all this for you.

The evening passes pleasantly, you talk a lot and chat about everything, by now there is a familiarity between you that you have built over the weeks, you feel safe and comfortable with him. Finally. After so many failed and wrong relationships you feel like you have found someone right. Joel is not ashamed of you, he doesn't try to change you, he doesn't comment on your weight, he is truly a breath of fresh air.

And you see the way he looks at you, enraptured. His eyes sparkle as he talks to you and listens to you. He listens to what you have to say and never makes inappropriate comments.

You both have a sense of humor and you like that, you manage not to take yourself too seriously and laugh together. Which is hot. Extremely hot. Every time you see that dimple on his cheek pop up, your knees buckle and your heart melts. He’s so adorable.

You also like the fact that he talks to you about Sarah, it makes you feel involved in his life, it seems like he doesn't try to keep you separate from it.

“Sarah is at a sleepover at one of her friends. So…would you like to stay over tonight?” he says it looking you straight in the eye and you already know what it means.

It’s the night.

The big night.

After all, you felt it and put on your favorite lingerie.

“Sure I want to,” you reply, taking his hand across the table and squeezing it. His hands big and strong…you can’t wait to feel them all over your body.

He insists on paying the bill despite your protests, you walk out of the restaurant and toward the truck when Joel grabs your waist and presses you against the door. He’s an inch from your lips, you can feel his warm breath on your skin.

“Can I kiss you?”

“What if I say no?” you tease him with a mischievous smile.

His body is completely on top of yours and the truth is that you can already feel your panties getting wet.

“I would quit, but it wouldn’t be easy so I hope you’ll reconsider”

You giggle “okay” and you feel his hands tighten on your hips.

He presses his lips against yours and it's a sloppy, needy kiss, urgent, all spit and tongue.

It leaves you breathless and you wonder what he will do in bed if this is the effect he has on you with just one kiss.

In fact you are touching each other really for the first time, in these weeks you have imagined many times his lips, their taste, their softness, their warmth. Now you know that he exceeds all your expectations.

He's calmer now, his lips fit perfectly between yours, he gently nibbles your lower lip and continues to lick inside your mouth.

He’s divine.

Utterly divine.

His hands run up and down your hips and he's about to lift your dress and grab your thigh when you stop him. “Joel…”

He looks at you with bated breath and eyes begging for mercy. “Yes, sweetie?”

“Not here…please, take me home” you whisper and he sighs “okay”

You don't even know how you managed to stop but you want your first time to be just for the two of you, you don't want to risk prying eyes or voices shouting obscene comments getting in the way.

You're already nervous enough that he'll see you naked for the first time.

He makes you get back in the pick up and gets into the driver's seat, while he fastens his seat belt you cast an eye at his crotch and you realize he’s semi-hard.

While he's driving, you put your hand on his thigh, because he has to know how much you want him.

You squeeze gently and hear him grunt “Babe…don’t do it, I won’t make it home.” and you giggle.

His low, raspy voice drives you crazy, and for a moment while you're stopped at the traffic light you consider sliding down your seat and straddling him but no, just no, wrecking his car on your first date wouldn't be the best way to end it.

You take a deep breath, leaving your hand quietly on his leg, but you want… oh you want so much to move it up and reach his bulge and stroke it over his pants.

When he pulls up in his driveway in the cab of his pickup truck there's an electricity between you that could power a small village, you feel it fluctuating in the air.

He quickly unbuckles his belt and leans over you to unbuckle yours, not without kissing you. “Let's go, pretty lady, I feel like I can’t wait a minute longer”

You get out and run to the door, he nervously searches for his keys in his pockets and opens it. You don't even have time to look around, it's the first time you enter his house but you only see it fleetingly because he takes your hand and immediately drag you to the bedroom.

There’s a chest of drawers in one corner and a wardrobe, both made of dark wood, probably made by him.

In the center of the room there is a large bed with a headboard of the same wood, the walls are a beautiful cerulean blue, there are three paintings hanging above the bed.

The bed has beige sheets and a light beige duvet with white stripes.

It’s a very manly cozy room, he makes you sit on the bed and you feel how comfortable it is, it's like him, warm and soft.

He starts undressing in front of you, he takes off his shirt and unbuttons his jeans without taking his eyes off you, he seems hypnotized by you.

You suddenly feel like there's an emptiness in the pit of your stomach, you wonder if you're ready to make yourself so vulnerable in front of him.

Oh fuck, where did this come from now? Why? You were so happy just a second ago.

It was easy in public places, you were able to use irony and your defense tactics.

Now there’s just the two of you and you wanted that, you insisted for that and yet you feel exposed now.

You know it's right, your insecurities right now aren't from Joel. Joel makes you feel safe.

It's you, it's just you.

Joel notices your hesitation, comes closer and caresses your face then he gently takes your chin and raises your gaze towards his

“Are you okay?”

“Yes” you reply in a small voice.

“If you don’t want to do it, that’s okay, darling.”

Your voice cracks a little as you reply “no, oh no, Joel I want it”

“So what’s wrong? Talk to me, you can trust me, you know?” He slips his hand into your hair and caresses you gently, looking you intensely in the eyes.

It's so stupid, all night you've felt hungry and lustful for him and now… you're afraid that seeing you naked he might think he made a mistake.

“I…” you try to say. You know that he at least deserves sincerity from you “I… I’m ashamed”

Joel's eyes widen and a completely confused expression appears on his face “about what?”

He really doesn't seem to understand and it makes you feel a little frustrated

“About my body, about the fact that I'm not thin, I have stretch marks and many other defects and you will see them” you say it all in one breath feeling silly.

“Oh babe…no. Listen to me carefully: you’re absolutely gorgeous. You don't have to be afraid to undress in front of me, I'm sure that whatever is under your clothes is wonderful and deserves to be worshipped. I really like you. I'm not saying this just because I want to have sex. You’re beautiful, honey”

You feel tears stinging your eyes and you fight them back with all your strength “you could have anyone you want”

“I want you. I want you if you let me” his voice is firm, his fingers caress your jaw until they reach your lips and brush them gently.

“Do you trust me?”

Sure, why shouldn’t I. He’s never given me a reason not to. you say to yourself.

“Yes” you whisper

“I want nothing more than to make you feel good and I won’t do anything you don’t want.”

“I know”

“And you can always talk to me about anything, okay? I don’t want to make you regret this”

He is sincere. He is absolutely sincere and you can clearly see it in his big beautiful brown eyes.

“Okay” you smile

“And by the way…your curves make me absolutely feral” he gives you a mischievous smile.

“Yeah?” you say with a hint of surprise

“Sure. Would you let me prove it to you?” his hand is on your shoulder now and lingers on the strap of your dress.

“Yes, please Joel… yes”

Damn insecurities, they were about to make you lose the best man you've ever met.

And now you feel impatient again and want his hands everywhere.

Now you notice his broad chest, the freckles scattered across his skin, the happy trail of hair that ends up hidden by his jeans.

Now you can enjoy the view of his muscular shoulders and strong neck and you can't wait to taste his skin under your tongue.

His hands move slowly over you, he slides the straps of your dress and reveals your bra.

“Get up,” he says, “I want to show you something.”

You look at him in disbelief. “What?”

“Come with me” he takes your hand and makes you get out of bed.

He takes you to a full-length mirror in a corner of his room “Sarah made me buy this because she says I have to look at myself before I leave the house. She says I make terrible combinations when I get dressed. Sometimes I'm in a hurry and wear my shirt inside out or something like that." he says smiling and shaking his head.

You giggle and the confidential tone with which he speaks to you makes you feel special.

“Well I don't know if it's the mirror's merit but you did a good job tonight” you joke.

You are in front of the mirror and he is behind you “look at yourself”

You become serious again and observe yourself.

“Look how beautiful you are” he says in his deep and slightly hoarse voice“can I?” he asks placing his hands on the clasp of your bra. You nod.

He takes off your bra and drops it on the floor. You look at that woman in the mirror, you look at her skin and the roundness of her breasts and her hard nipples and then you look into his eyes and you see nothing but admiration “God, your breasts are amazing” you hear him say “can I touch them?” and you nod again “yes, please Joel”

He traces the outline with his fingers and then cups his hands and fills them with your tits.

You don't miss the moan of pleasure that he tries to stifle in his throat “they are so soft” he squeezes them delicately “mmm baby, they feel amazing in my hands”

He takes your nipples between his fingers and tugs on them slightly “and these? Look how sexy they are, I bet they would be delicious in my mouth”

You feel your skin heat up and your head spin, you squeeze your eyes shut at the sensation of his hands playing with yours hard buds and his words go straight to your cunt. He’s so good at this.

“Open your eyes, honey” he whispers in your ear “don't stop looking at yourself”

His hands leave your breasts and for a moment you want to take them and put them back there but you let him. He slides your dress down your hips, until you're left in your underwear in front of the mirror.

“You’re stunning” he punctuates every syllable on your skin making you tremble “absolutely gorgeous”

His hand slides over your stomach and your belly that always makes you feel insecure “Is that what worries you?” he asks as if he can read inside you “that you don't have a flat stomach? Honey, your tummy is amazing.”

He squeezes it and it seems incredible to you how delicate his big hands can be “It's full and delicious and sweet and I can't wait to bite into it”

You squirm, leaning over his broad chest “Oh my god” you moan

He caresses your hips with both hands, supporting you “and these… they feel welcoming and warm and mmm baby, so sensual. Can you see it? They fit my hands so perfectly”

You look at yourself and you've never felt this way.

Guided by his words you finally see yourself beautiful and desirable.

He slips his fingers under the edge of your panties “Can I?”

“Yes” you say in a breath

He slowly slides them off, revealing your pussy “Jesus.” He mutter “look at her. Look how perfect she is”

He just touches your mound and you feel hypnotized, his voice, his hands, the warmth of his body, it’s all too much.

“Oh baby… I love that you left that little strip of hair”

You can't hold back anymore and you whine “touch me Joel, I want more”

His voice vibrates on your soft skin again “Tell me what you want, in detail” He bites the spot where your neck meets your shoulder “I want to hear”

“Oh god… I want… I want your fingers inside me, stretching me just right” you babble “I want to feel full”

His fingers slide between your folds “God baby you’re soaking wet. It’s all for me?”

You squirm under his touch nodding repeatedly, you feel desperately needy and hungry.

“Yes. Please Joel”

“Please what, baby?” He ask maliciously

“Make me yours, make me all yours”

“Can you see how beautiful you are now?”

“Yes” you nod “yeah. Don’t make me wait any longer. I need you, Joel”

You can swear that right now you feel really beautiful and also the luckiest woman in the world.

“Oh, you're getting impatient now… I like that” he says in a hushed tone.

He's still behind you and holding you close, he's still wearing his jeans but you can feel his hard cock pressing against your ass.

You look small in his arms, he surrounds you completely.

He brings you back to the bed and makes you lie down, you are completely naked and yet you no longer feel ashamed and inadequate.

He takes off his jeans, remaining in a pair of black boxers.

At the sight of his erection poking out against the fabric you lick your lips in anticipation.

He lies on top of you, his eyes on yours, looking at you intently “You’re perfect, honey” and then his mouth crash into your neck, kissing and licking everything he can, he takes your skin between his lips sucking and biting like he was starving for you.

“Your skin is like velvet and you smell so good, fuck”

And you whimper and cry and clasp your hands on his shoulder digging your nails in them and you feel like you don’t need anything else in this life.

He lowers himself on your body, grazing at your skin with his lips, lingering for a while on your nipples and mumbling at how good they are.

“I love touching you with my mouth, tasting your curves against my lips” until he reaches your tummy giving sloppy kisses at it and then he bites it. His teeth are attentive and gentle but at the same time eager, like he wants to taste your whole being.

And then he come to your mound and traces your thin strip of hair with his tongue and you buck your hips and move one of your hands through his curls and you plead “more, Joel, please”

He grunts at you when you tug his hair and you look at him with the most miserable begging eyes you can pull out “You want it so bad, babe? Want me to eat you out?”

You mewl a yes and he smirk “want to come on my tongue?”

You nod again “yes”

He places himself between your thighs “God, she seems made for this. So sweet scented and pretty. I bet she tastes so good”

And in an instant he dives into your pussy and his nose bumps your clit as his tongue begins to lick you up and down, delving your folds and making your hips jerk.

Your legs are wrapped around his back and his hand is on your tummy holding you in place “god, you look so beautiful like that, my precious angel, all spread and ravenous for me” every word vibrates on your clit and make you moan loudly. It’s like a demon took possession of your body, an insatiable and aching demon that wants nothing but pleasure.

He nudges at your entrance with his tongue and you cry again for more “your fingers, Joel, please, give them to me”

He pushes two fingers inside your soaking wet hole, they enter just easily and he curls them up inside you reaching for your sweetest spot.

“fuck, yes” you howl “god they feel so good, they feel so fucking good, Joel”

“I know baby, I know, you’re taking them so perfectly”

He continues to swirl his tongue over your clit as he pump his fingers in and out of you, increasing the pace when you can’t hold your moans anymore and you’re so loud you almost fear his neighbors can hear you “God, Joel, I’m coming - I’m - coming ah- god you’re incr- ah” you’re totally babbling trying to get a complete sentence out of your mouth and you can’t, you just can’t because he’s too much and you never felt that good before.

“Soak my fingers, babe, soak my face, give it all to me”

Your pussy clench around his fingers and you feel breathless as your orgasm washes all over you, his dirty talk made you over the edge.

You whine his name as you come, again and again and he doesn’t stop lapping at you until you’re calm.

He lies down next to you, wrapping his arms around you, you bury your head in the crook of his neck and sigh, “Oh, Joel.”

His hand sits on your ass squeezing gently “Such a good girl for me. I can’t believe you almost called yourself out from this”

You playfully pinch one his nipples “don’t make a fool of me”

“I would never” he says, kissing your hair “I’m just saying that you’re too good to not be taken care of. Your body deserves to feel passion and lust and all of that”

“On that note… there’s something else I’d like to do” you look at him maliciously

“What, baby?”

“I would love to… uhm… fuck, I would love to give you head”

He tilt his head “excuse me miss? Watch your mouth!” You giggle hiding your face in his chest and he laugh, and then he goes serious and ask “You sure? You don’t have to do that if you don’t want to”

“Yeah, I know” and you raise your face to kiss the lovely bald patch in his beard and you move to his ear and you whisper “I really want that though”

“As you please, sunshine”

You cup his bulge in his boxer and stroke it gently over the fabric “someone else here needs to be taken care of too”

He grunts “yeah, baby, keep going like that”

“Actually… I can make it even better” and you move from his side getting on your knees on the bed and then sitting on your heels as you keep stroking him.

You lower his boxer and his cock spring free, he’s already hard as rock. You lick your lips “delicious” and he looks at you mischievously “I guess you can be naughtier than I thought, baby”

You smirk back at him, lowering yourself on his groin and kissing the tip of his cock, just the tip, gently as a feather.

You giggle and pull back as he bucks up his hips to your mouth “so impatient, aren’t you?”

“It’s just… I didn’t have anyone giving me head in a very long time”

You open your eyes wide “I don't believe it”

“I swear” he says in a lower hoarse tone “I didn’t… I had some one night stand here and there but nothing serious, you know, I needed to be focused on Sarah and my work. so everything was quick and meaningless”

You can’t imagine Joel having meaningless sex with anybody, he’s so respectful and attentive with you.

You raise an eyebrow. “Joel Miller, do you mean to make me believe that all the women in the neighborhood aren’t in love with you?”

“Oh Rose loves me for sure” and you laugh “but about the others… I don’t know, some of them tried a couple of times but I always rejected them. I told you, I didn’t have time for complications”

“Then why you’ve changed your mind now?”

“Sarah threatened to sign me up for Tinder if I didn't find someone. And then I met you”

You giggle “so you went out with me to be safe from Tinder”

“At first, maybe. But now you know that it's not just that, right?”

“Yeah, I know.”

What he just did speaks volumes about how much he likes you.

And you’re even more convinced now.

You lower your head and lick the tip again swirling your tongue around it and he moans.

You slide your tongue flat along his length and wrap your hand around the base. It's big, bigger than you expected but you don't feel intimidated.

“Oh baby, you’re so good to me, what have I done to deserve such a perfect girl?”

He gasps when you took all you can of his cock in your mouth, feeling his length sliding over your tongue and his musky taste invading your palate, you whine beginning to suck like you’re desperate, stroking the rest of it with your fingers.

It doesn’t take too much before you start feeling him throbbing between your lips, he’s right on the edge as you suck and lick and kiss him like the most delicious lollipop you’ve ever had.

He pants loudly bucking his hips “Baby I’m almost - AH- almost there”

You make his cock pop out of your mouth “finish inside me, then”

“You sure?”

“Yes, I’m on the pill” you nod straddling his crotch and positioning his cock at your entrance.

You slowly lower yourself feeling the tip force its way into your hole and you moan with every inch that pushes its way inside you.

You stay still for a moment feeling his cock fill you up completely.

He says nothing but he looks you in the eyes and the brown of his pupils has become incredibly dark.

Eventually you start moving on top of him, placing your hands on his chest, your pussy making lewd sounds and your tits bouncing, he takes them in his hands squeezing them as he sinks into you, deeper and deeper and harder and harder.

You’re basically riding him and you've never felt so wild and free, your insecurities just disappeared clouded by your pleasure.

“Fuck, baby, you’re so gorgeous like this, look at the way your hips move, it’s so fucking amazing”

You throw yourself onto his chest as you feel his seed paint your walls, you take his mouth with yours stifling his moans that echo inside you.

He slides a hand between you, searching for your clit, and his calloused fingers begin to move over it. You end the kiss to look into his eyes, “don’t stop” he whispers “come for me baby.”

Your head feels light and your vision blurs as you feel your orgasm building up from the depths of your tummy, your pussy clenching and squeezing his cock.

You gush all over him like never before, making a mess of his crotch and the sheets underneath, crying his name so hard.

You rest your head next to his, inhaling the smell of tobacco, wood and the sweat of his neck, and you laugh, you laugh joyfully, “God,” and he does the same, wrapping his arms around you and caressing your back “Nothing like this has ever happened to me before, I'm sorry”

He holds you tighter “you don't have to be sorry, darling, it was wonderful”

“I made such a mess” you murmur

“So what? Nothing that laundry can’t fix. And I’m good at laundry, you know?”

He kisses your forehead and stroke your cheek “I haven't felt this good in ages”

“Yeah, me too” you kiss him wrapping one your leg around his.

You both stay quiet for a while, enjoying each other’s warmth, kissing every now and then suddenly it hits you and you say, “Do you know who we owe all this to?”

“No, I don’t honey, to whom?” he asks confused.

“Rose” you say “Think about it, if I hadn't brought her medicines that day we wouldn't be here now."

“That’s true. I think we should go visit her and bring her a nice present.”

“Yes. She will love the story of how we met.”

You kiss him again and think about what gift could match this. Probably none, because it's the best thing that's ever happened to you.

[mockerycrow]

Hello!!!!!! So i was wonderinfg if you could do a piece for cod mw2? A platonic 141 (other characters can be added if youd like) x (preferably 18-20 yr old) gn or fem reader. It can be a oneshot or headcannons, i dont mind either format!!! If you do a oneshot, any scenario (a mission, off duty, etc) is fine w me!!! You basically have free reign, just keep it strictly platonic, not even a smidge of the hints w the reader and romantic relationships 👍❤️

Ain’t That A Kick In The Head? (Platonic!141 x Fem!Reader)

cod masterlist

A/N: YESS!! I LOVE PLATONIC FICS!! 99% of my writing so far has been romantic, kind of funny considering I’m aromantic and queer. thank you anon <3 i’m also sorry for taking so long. your speciality isn’t specified, but it can’t be demolitions, im sorry!! plot purposes.

[WARNINGS: mentioned misogyny, fluff.]

Considering how young you are, you deal with quite a lot of people who have low expectations for you. To be fair, you don’t have much experience, but you are a quick learner and that’s very much needed on this base. You’re a Specialist, one rank above Private in the U.S. army ranks. When people first meet you, they expect you to be a coward, a twenty year old girl—is what they like to call you—who doesn’t know the difference between a 5.56 mm cartridge and a 7.62 mm cartridge, a clueless little girl. Of course you did not know everything, but it was clear you know enough and have enough skill as you’re apart of the 141.

When you were first picked for the team, Ghost was a bit skeptical. Your age played a big factor because he was concerned about your level of experience, but he overall trusts Price’s judgement. A huge part of it was him worried about how you would take in all of the traumatizing sights they see on every mission. How you would be able to take someone down without a second thought, even if they pleaded for their life. He didn’t voice this worry, nor did he do anything to “shield” you because he knows you know what you signed up for.

You physically train/spar with Ghost and Gaz separately frequently. They are different in size and in style of defense/attack, so they both give you great pointers on how to defend yourself and how to initiate an attack. You have a schedule with them; when you’re on base, you train with Gaz Mondays and Tuesdays and Ghosts on Thursdays, preferably early in the morning with Gaz and in the evening with Ghost. Even when you perfect your own style for attack and defense, you keep training with them; “So you don’t get rusty.”

Price knows what you signed up for, and he knows that he picked you, so like everyone else on the task force, he begins to train you. Being an expert in violence and timing—unconventional warfare too, he occasionally sits in on your training sessions with Gaz and/or Ghost. Sometimes, he talks with Gaz or Ghost beforehand to set up a specific scenario for you to find a way to get out of alive.

Being said, Price takes you out as well as the team to a training field, doing the exact same thing but in a more.. realistic scenario. Being so young, he figures you still have an unacceptable type of response with “fight, flight, or freeze”. His plan is to strip away the freeze response because that’s the one that will get you killed. He also very specifically has himself and your teammates as the enemies in this field because while you’re supposed to trust your team with your life, there’s also often betrayal in the field.

Soap is a demolitions expert, as well as a sniper. He absolutely refuses to let you handle real bombs at first because he knows you didn’t specialize in demolitions like he did. After spending a few months with you, he brings out non-dangerous replicas of bombs and replicated parts to begin to show you how to take a bomb apart/defuse it, when it’s best to let it explode, or how to put one together for emergencies. He absolutely 110% makes sure you know it’s for emergencies when he isn’t there. It’s not that he thinks you’re incapable, but he can’t help but worry. Him learning about how Gaz and Price met, how Price only had seconds to shove the hostage with a bomb vest strapped to him over that railing? Fucking terrifying to him.

Gaz also helps you complete your interrogation training—not being the interrogator, but then interrogatee. Undergoing several mentally challenging tests himself of this variety, he tasks himself with giving you pointers. Your task is to keep your mouth shut about intel and escape the facility and remain hidden, uncaptured during the entire test. He’s so incredibly used to uncomfortable situations, so his pointers during this—seeing that he passed this test himself, the only one who past it in his class—his advice is helpful.

Besides training with Ghost, he coaches you ambushes and stealth. Every time you’re caught in a test, he coaches you on how to evade, on how to remain hidden even when the enemy is right in front of you. He teaches you how to set up traps and ruses, what traps are most commonly used and spotted and what ones aren’t.

Overall, they know you’re inexperienced and young, but you quickly take their advice and training into account, and you get to teach them a thing or two when you arrive on base. You learn quick and Price finally feels as if you’re ready for an intense stealth mission, accompanied by the team. They don’t have any doubt held in their hearts for you, 100% trusting your abilities.

[theresstillgrowinghere]

I don’t often find I have much to say during chronic illness awareness months anymore. I’m tired. My words feel tired. I don’t feel like I have anything new to add. Sometimes I worry though that that in part comes from my having been in various digital chronic illness spaces for almost a decade. Of course it feels tired to me. There are things that rattle around my brain that feel so obvious and commonplace (and that have been said much more eloquently by others before me) but may still be worth expressing, just judging by the ways people in my life haven’t been able to understand

So for gastroparesis awareness month this year, there are a few things I want to note from my experiences (tw for food/eating, weight without numbers, medical trauma)

1) My relationship with food is so scarred and multifaceted. It is messy and thorny, conflicting and complicated

(I am scared of food. I miss food. I hate food. I want to eat so badly. I never want to think about eating again. Tell me in detail about how it tasted. I love food. Please don’t ask me to join you for a meal. I don’t want to miss the communal aspects of eating. I feel so disconnected and other and separate just because I don’t eat. Sometimes I do try to eat and it makes me sick. Don’t comment on it, please; it’s not helpful to scold or encourage - I feel shame either way)

2) There is no cure. There is only management. I think people understand this in theory more than actuality, because when I say this I mean please, please stop expecting any management option to be The Thing. Please don’t expect something to offer substantial improvement, even if it is a life-saving dramatic change. As I have tried to explain to people in my life, those types of interventions are often complicated and risky and, in our broken healthcare system, very difficult to access until the situation truly is dire and life-threatening. Which can mean that the body takes significant damage before getting there. Sometimes by the time you access the intervention, that damage is irreversible and the goal is just to stop further decline. It’s not making me better; it’s keeping me from getting worse. For some reason that’s difficult for people to understand

(But sometimes people do find what for them is The Thing or are The Things, and that’s an important piece of the whole picture. The problem is the persistence of unrealistic expectations among people around us)

3) My relationship with healthcare is vital but fraught and heavy. I rely on it tremendously just to stay alive. It is also my only in-person access to the world and to people, which is a weird kind of mindfuck. But I am also deeply afraid of it after so many years of trauma. I am terrified of hospitals and medical professionals. I’m sorry for the way that fear makes me irrational, makes me assume, makes me protect myself. I know so many medical professionals are so caring and kind, but it is very, very hard to go into a medical setting trusting that that will be the case

4) There are some things I wish truly were obvious. Like don’t comment on someone’s weight, ever. Don’t say you wish you could “have a little of that” to change your appearance. Don’t try to convince me to “just try to eat a little.” Trust that I know my body best. Don’t offer me unsolicited advice or recommendations. Don’t say “when you get to be my age…” because I will point out that, based on the amount of damage to my body already, it is very possible I will never reach your age. But more to the point, I am not too young to be this sick. It happens

Anyway, these are my 3am-notes-app, camped-out-on-the-bathroom-floor thoughts. It is also important to note that they exist in the context of my gastroparesis being born of and coexisting with my other chronic illnesses, and they all become so deeply entangled

Wishing everyone well. Hoping your August is kind and gentle

To everyone with gastroparesis (and other digestive disorders, really), I’m sorry your tummy hurts, and no, you actually don’t need to be very brave about it. As I heard someone say recently in a different context but definitely applies here as well, “We weren’t born to be fighters. I don’t want to be brave. I want to be okay.” I just want all of us to be okay

[maccreadysbaby]

Do you still do writing tips?? Cause I need tips on writing a child (12/13) who’s been trained to be living weapon their whole life??

OH MY GOD YES. I LOVE YOU.

this is a massive post I’m sorry

Writing a Child Who was Raised to be a Weapon

tw just for abuse, eating disorders, and the like mentioned below

NOW. This is one of my favorite archetypes used in modern media, if you couldn’t tell by my batfamily oc insert (little mister was-only-kept-alive-to-destroy-bruce-wayne. hi there, bentley, love you!)

While this is a very compelling and interesting type of character to create and flesh out, it’s easy to brush over some of the inner dialogue and thought patterns these children would have, because most people irl don’t have them. (Unless you were raised as a super assassin, in which case, please don’t kill me, and I love you)

The bottom line is, the characters entire personality and dynamic with other people relies on what background you give them. And that’s where I come in! Hi, I’m maccreadysbaby, and I’m going to propose some of the routes you can take in writing these cute little (deadly) guys!

COMMUNICATION ↴

none of these children are going to communicate normally, because they aren’t normal. they weren’t raised with a family, or good support system. they might:

be terrified of others. slow to trust. especially if you’re writing a child who was abused when they failed. for example, my oc, bentley, was horrified to be in proximity with any of bruce wayne’s family because he was afraid they would hurt him like his father did. he was afraid to cry in front of them, afraid to admit he was tired or sick or scared, afraid to ask for help, afraid to speak first, because it was all things he’d gotten punished for before. they might also have a terrible relationship with failure, because failure brings pain, and could potentially crumble if they fail or think they’re going to fail whatever they’re doing. (a mission, an assassination, or simple things like a school test or a task someone asked them to complete.) maybe they’re really good at holding it together and pretending they aren’t scared, but after all, they’re just kids. the cracks in their mask are gonna show one way or another.

shut people out. this could be from fear, or from being taught relationships are bad and makes them weak and vulnerable. they might not communicate because they don’t want to have another potential weak spot. they might keep their distance, stay quiet, not come out often. they might come across as cold and heartless, but it’s really them just trying to protect themselves, be it from pain, from the idea of eventual heartbreak, etc. but there is a problem with shutting people out, and it’s that they’re also shutting themselves in, like a prison. kids who choose to shut people out and bottle up everything they feel are slightly more prone to emotional outbursts and breakdowns. especially if they’re fairly young.

learn different ways to communicate, such as sign language, their actions, body language, etc. they won’t do it like everybody else and that’s okay! you can take so many liberties with this. maybe they make origami swans and leave them on the nightstands of people they decide they like. maybe they highlight lines in books and leave them places to tell someone how they feel. maybe they’re an absolute little jerkhole that’s mean to everyone because they weren’t taught how to do it any differently. maybe they’re insanely submissive people-pleasers that do everything asked of them because they were created to take orders. the possibilities are endless. go on an adventure!

be overly trusting. you typically see this in characters on the younger end of the spectrum, but you can drag it up into teenagers, too. a child that’s been abused or suppressed in any way, physically, emotionally, or mentally might decide they wholeheartedly trust the first person who is nice to them, who doesn’t cause them pain. there might even be a little bit of lag time between the meeting and the kindness and the trusting, but when it comes, it comes full force to the face. they’d trust these people to protect their lives and might even cling to them, or run to them as an escape from whoever raised them. (assuming they are afraid of the people who raised them.) they might even allow themselves to open up and become more than just a human weapon in the presence of these lucky folks.

believe that they’re superior to everyone else. obviously they are a higher class, a finer type of person. they can kill in seconds, they’re a master at martial arts, they can have an adult wrapped around their finger within the first minute of meeting them, they can make a person cave with a single sentence, they’re just better. better than all these civilians who let their emotions get in the way, who let other people walk all over them and boss them around. they’re too good for that. this is also a great one to add in some angst. arrogance and pride are often founded on the feelings of uselessness, worthlessness, or that they can’t (or don’t deserve to) be loved. it’s like a defense mechanism. no one likes me — obviously it’s because of my blindingly obvious superiority. they’re so much better that they don’t need love, kindness, care. (but yes, they actually do. they’ll probably break down crying or throw someone across the room the moment it’s given because it opens their eyes to the fact that they’re literally freaking starving for it like they haven’t eaten in their entire lives. my GOD give these kids a hug.)

FOOD ↴

i know this seems random, but it’s something you need to know about your character because it heavily impacts their mental state, mannerisms, energy, and health. chances are being raised as a weapon, they won’t have a stable relationship with food or eating. here are some examples of how you could make them!

refusing to eat. if your child character has had bad experiences in the past regarding food, such as someone using food to manipulate them (if you don’t do this you don’t get food.), torture them (purposefully feeding them something that makes them sick or have an allergic reaction, even poisoned food.), or if there are bad memories tied to eating (always getting fed before terrible missions, or before days locked somewhere, torture sessions, punishments, etc.) your child may not want to eat at all. after all, these are still just kids and they’re going to try and avoid everything that can trigger negative feelings, memories, or circumstances. if food is one of them, your other characters are probably going to have to help reassure them that they can eat and need to (if they’re in the presence of nice characters.) if you’re wanting to go a more severe route, you can even write them getting diagnosed with anorexia (an eating disorder that heavily involves not eating at all.) but of course, you don’t have to. (i didn’t.) just remember, they are growing kids and are going to be hungry whether they like it or not. but they will try to hide it if hunger has been used against them, which is a good point for hurt/comfort writing, since hunger can cause anything as small and embarrassing as their stomach growling loudly in front of everybody to severe stomach cramps (like your organs being tied in a terribly tight knot), vomiting, and fainting. all things considered, you can take a more severe route, or just write about them working with the help of friends to get up to a better food intake level and higher weight.

struggling to eat. if your child has not been fed properly for most or all of their lives, and then are put into a homelife where they have food at their disposal, they still might struggle with it. (for example, my character, bentley, was severely starved by his father for the first ten years of his life and when he gets put into a new home, he struggles to eat much at all and sometimes feels sick when he eats ‘too much’, even though he should be eating more in general.) of course, this comes with a host of complications and all the symptoms that come with malnutrition, not to mention that they won’t even be close to the size they’re supposed to be. (bentley was the size of a 6-7 year old at the ages of 9&10.) this is similar to the last bullet point in the sense that you can go the more serious anorexia route, or the kind people helping them stay on track route

over-eating. this one is more common for youngsters who didn’t have access to food most of their lives, but it wasn’t used against them or withheld from them by another person. (a good example would be a child trained in an area where people routinely don’t have access to food.) this is highly derived from food insecurity, where they think they have to eat everything they’re given because they don’t know when they’ll eat next. (this can also be used for characters in the bullet point above.) this also can cause health issues and routine sickness. (for example, my character, asten (11yrs), who lived in a poverty stricken part of his city and barely ate outside of school, routinely eats himself sick when he has access to food because he’s been starving without it.) this food insecurity can also lead to extreme emetophobia (fear of vomiting) because they don’t want to lose what they do have in them, which can pose a massive problem when this child is either so empty or so full that they need to throw up. so, if they’re put into a household where they have access to food, it might be a constant stream of stomach aches and nights spent in the bathroom while the person helps reassure them that they will always have food and they don’t have to eat it all now. (sorry this is gross but it needs to be said.)

here is a drabble that i wrote recently involving a malnourished child due to poverty, with his internal dialogue and thought processes, if that will help any of you.

ANXIETY / PTSD ↴

oh boy. these kids will have it, given how they’ve been raised. the question is in how they treat it and deal with it.

hiding it. maybe they were trained to see fear and anxiousness as weakness. the flinch when someone moves too fast, the tightness in their chest at a certain noise, the inability to breathe if they see someone’s face, they’re going to hide it because their fine and they’re tough. no one has to know that they have nightmares every night and cry when they’re alone. you can even extend this into anxiety/asthma/panic attacks that they keep hidden. (typically by leaving social settings when they feel it coming on.) no one has to know that they’re so weak. they might lash out in anger or irritation if they’re routinely asked if they’re okay because they need these people to back off before they fall apart in front of them. they might have little mannerisms that other people might notice for calming or showing anxiety, like biting their nails, bouncing their leg, pinching themselves, quietly doing breathing exercises, etc. PTSD will come more like nightmares and anxiety attacks and flashbacks, and they can’t always hide those no matter how much they want to. the severity of anxiety and PTSD depends on how graphic you make their backstory. (for example, my character, bentley, has nightmares of being abused, which he breaks down crying after. in his instances, he’s never alone. similarly, he once started crying when he saw christmas decorations similar to those his abuser used to have, and he has his first anxiety attack when he sees his abuser in public) you can keep the character secretive about it or let them have a big old breakdown in front of someone else, your choice.

not hiding it at all. if they’re with someone they trust, they might just let loose. (that’s what happened to bentley once he learned his new family didn’t care if he looked weak and wanted to help him) they might tell someone when they’re feeling scared or anxious or bad in any way. they might just cry right in front of them when they have to and have attacks with someone close and all the things because they’re not alone anymore and these people want to help. it might take a while for them to get to this point, and no one blames them. (for example, bentley was really anxious for school so he went to his new guardians room in the middle of the night) and remember, any steps these kiddos take closer to asking for help is HUGE! make sure your other characters encourage them and let them know they’re proud for reaching out :)

keep in mind that if they’ve never been talked to about it, they might have no freaking clue what’s going on if they have an attack of some sort, and will probably need someone to explain to them what’s going on and that they aren't going to die.

Thanks for coming to my ted talk! If you have more specific questions send them in anon!

[lonelym00n]

The Road to Recovery

An epilogue for The Devil Likes the Pirate Series

Tara Carpenter x Reader

Word Count: 3.2k

Summary: Is it worth the effort to repair your relationships, or should you just let your friends go?

Warnings: Talk about injuries, nothing super gory

A/N: The epilogue is here (finally)! I hope it wraps up the series nicely. Thank you all so much for reading <3

The road to recovery, as it’s often said to be, is going to be a long one. You are confined to your hospital bed for a minimum of two weeks, set to undergo observation and a multitude of x-rays until your body has recovered enough for a laparoscopy to ensure that your wounded organs have properly healed. 

You internally groan when the nurse informs you of your long stay. The next two weeks are going to be extremely boring, especially because you've been instructed not to move unless you’re being visited by your physical therapist or it is absolutely necessary to do so.

If it’s not bad enough that you can’t move, as with every other hospital, your only form of entertainment is watching the crappy TV shows provided by the hospital’s very limited cable subscription. 

As much as you want to grumble and complain, all the effort that it’s going to take for you to heal is worth it because it means that you’re still alive. If your traumatic near death experience has taught you anything, it’s that you have to be thankful for life and its hardships even when you are desperately wishing for things to be easier.

In an effort to uplift your mood, you switch on the TV, dig into a cup of jello, and carefully shift into a comfortable position.

***

The two cups of jello that you ate must’ve had the same effects on you as a Thanksgiving feast, because your eyes droop shut during the second episode of Property Brothers. 

It’s darker when you awake, and after blinking away the sleep in your eyes, you notice that you have a visitor.

“Kirby?” 

The FBI Agent turns her head in your direction with a grin, “Hey kid!”

You both take a second to scan the other’s injuries. There’s an array of bandages on her face and you can just barely make out the thick gauze hiding underneath her loose shirt. 

Kirby’s lips curve into a frown at your pale and weak form, “He really did a number on you huh?”

You nod, “But the doctors say I’ll be okay.”

She shuffles over to stand right beside your bed, “I’m glad.”

There’s so much you want to say to Kirby that it takes a good few moments to gather your thoughts together. Ever since Tara told you that Kirby had survived, you haven’t stopped thinking about how grateful you are for the older woman. She trusted you when no one else did. 

“Kirby, I- I really can’t even begin to say how much I appreciate you having my back. I don’t think I would be here if it weren’t for you.”

She shakes her head, “I only did what was right, no need to thank me.”

Tears prick your eyes, “But I do need to thank you. You didn’t even know me but you were still there for me. None of my friends can say the same.”

Kirby sighs and gently grabs your hand. “I’m sorry. Have you talked to any of them about it yet?”

A shakily exhale leaves your chest. Though you’d seen Tara a few times, the two of you still hadn’t talked things through. You were terrified that it would break the honeymoon phase you and she were living in if you approached the topic, so you refused to bring it up. You knew from Tara that Mindy had been released from the hospital, but the Meeks-Martin girl had still made no effort to come see you. You tried your best not to hold it against her, but deep down it made you even more sad to know she was avoiding you all together.

A few tears trail down your cheeks, “No. Mindy’s treating me like I’m the plague and I’m too scared to talk to Tara about it.”

The agent squeezes your hand in an attempt to bring you comfort. “Mindy will come around, to be honest I’m betting that she just feels really bad. And Tara, well, I’ve heard the way that girl talks about you. It’ll make both of you feel better to talk things through and get that extra weight off your chests.”

“You’re right,” your heart feels heavy in your chest. You’ve been doing your best to avoid thinking about your time spent treated like a suspect, the hurt that it brings you is too overwhelming when coupled with the burning stab wounds littered around your abdomen. But now that it’s been breached, you know your feelings are going to come flying out like the contents of Pandora’s Box. 

“God Kirby, it just hurts so much to think that no one even gave me a chance. There was nothing I could say or do. How am I ever supposed to trust them again when they so clearly didn’t trust me?”

A deep frown stretches across Kirby’s face and she moves to carefully wrap her arms around your shoulders in a hug. “You don’t have to trust them. You don’t owe any of them a single thing.” She pulls back to get a better view of your face, “But, I know you still care about your friends even though they hurt you. Just talk to them, and after that, make them earn your trust back. Your relationships are damaged but with time, they’ll heal.”

“Okay,” you nod and lean back in the bed. “That sounds good, thank you Kirby.”

“Anytime. I’m here for you from here on out kid.”

***

Tara comes by two days later, with yet another bouquet of flowers. She’s accompanied by Sam, the older girl refusing to let Tara leave her side.

Under normal circumstances Tara would throw a fit but since they had almost died just last week, she lets her sister’s behavior slide.

The younger girl greets you with a kiss on the forehead and moves to replace the old flowers with the new ones. Sam offers you a smile and a wave before making her way towards the empty bed next to your own.

You scooch yourself over to make room for Tara on the bed with you. Your abdomen screams at you for the small movements, but feeling Tara’s warmth next to you will more than make up for it.

When she’s finished with the flowers, she slides into your bed. Her hands instantly start sweeping across your form, a new habit she picked up to reassure herself that you were still alive and breathing. You melt into the contact, occasionally humming in content. 

You let yourself enjoy the peace for a moment. It’s nice being cared for by Tara, letting her fiddle with your blankets and your hair as she quietly fusses over you. 

But as much as you want to continue living in this heaven with her, the gnaw of leftover hurt and dejection in your chest has grown incessant since your talk with Kirby. You’ve been avoiding rehashing the nightmarish events with Tara because you’re terrified to lose her again, like you have every other time the two of you have had emotional talks. 

Hesitantly, you grab one of her hands to stop its movement and draw her attention to you. Those big brown eyes of hers immediately look up at you, her long eyelashes fluttering slightly. The sight of her has you nervous and bumbling. Whatever you were going to say to approach the topic is stuck in your throat in favor of admiring her.

She tilts her head cutely and entangles the fingers of her trapped hand in yours. “Is everything okay?”

You close your eyes for a second and take a deep breath. When you reopen them, Tara’s eyes are filled with concern.

You swallow thickly, “We um,” you pause briefly, working up the courage, “We need to talk Tara.”

She freezes for a second but quickly finds herself again, “Okay. Yeah, yeah we can talk.”

Sam slides out of her place on the other bed swiftly. She squeezes Tara's uninjured shoulder as she passes by, “I’ll be just outside if you need me.”

The younger Carpenter nods to her sister in thanks. Sam sees the apprehension in Tara’s eyes and offers the girl a small reassuring smile. 

The tension in the room increases when the door closes behind Sam. You and Tara blink at each other for a few long seconds.

You shift your gaze to your waist and pick at the thin scratchy blanket. When you start worrying your bottom lip between your teeth, Tara reaches up with her free hand to cup your check.

“Hey, it’s okay, you can talk to me.”

You look up to meet her eyes and see nothing but care and reassurance. It gives you the push you need to open up to her. “Well, I wanted to talk about everything from last week, and uh, how it made me feel.”

Her eyes widen a bit but she nods quickly, “Okay. I’m listening, go ahead.”

“When I saw you in the police station, god I felt so betrayed Tara. I know that since I was the only one who hadn’t stayed over it made me look bad, but no one even gave me a chance to explain myself. I get why you might’ve given them my name, but it still hurt to know it was you because it meant that you didn’t trust me enough to talk to me yourself.”

Her eyes shine with unshed tears and she slowly trails her thumb down your cheek, “I’m so sorry, about that and about everything. Me and Sam were just so scared and shaken up, and Detective Bailey was asking for everyone’s alibis, and Sam mentioned that you hadn’t stayed over. I tried to tell her not to, but she had to tell him. He was the one who decided to bring you in for questioning, not either of us. I know that doesn’t make anything better, but maybe it helps you to know.”

It did make you feel slightly better. It’s not like she threw him your name and told him to question you. “It does help. When I got to the park, I just felt so judged and alone, like I was some sort of outsider. And then Mindy said all that stuff and it just broke me. It upset me so much that she called me out like that and turned everything I told her in private into a stupid motive.”

The memory of Mindy’s words is particularly painful for you to relive. You’d never felt so exposed and let down. Quietly, a few tears begin to slip down your face.

Tara’s bottom lip trembles with the effort it takes to hold back her own tears, “I hate that we made you feel like that. We’re your friends and that’s never how you should feel around us. And Mindy, god, I was so mad at her for what she said to you. I tried to chase after you when you left but Sam wouldn’t let me.”

The timid look that you give her nearly breaks her heart. “You did?”

A tear escapes her eyes, “Yeah. I didn’t want you to be alone, not when you looked so upset.”

“I was so scared that you were going to hate me, or reject me, and that you thought I was the killer. I had to get away.”

“I could never hate you. And I wouldn’t have rejected you, I really really like you. When I told you I only wanted to be friends, it’s because everything that happened with Amber hurt me so much. I was scared that I could get hurt again, so I pushed my feelings away. And that pushed you away, and I’m so fucking sorry. All the Ghostface stuff happened so fast, and I never got a chance to apologize or to explain myself.”

You’re both crying now. You tug Tara closer to you and she positions herself so her head lays on your shoulder, moving carefully so as not to jostle you or lay on top of any wires.

She looks up at you from her position, “I didn’t think it was you, Y/N. I was just trying to be cautious about trusting anyone. The only person I was sure it wasn’t was Sam. When Wayne had you, I hesitated because of everything Ethan and Quinn were saying. And I was so, so scared that all the Amber stuff was happening again, but I believed what you said. You’re nothing like Amber, you wouldn’t have done something like that. I’m sorry it took me that long to be sure of it.”

You wrap your free arm around her waist and bury your teary face in her hair. You feel infinitely lighter having gotten your feelings out into the open. Part of you has healed from hearing things from her perspective. 

“It makes me feel so much better knowing all of that, thank you Tara.”

“Of course, I’m sorry about how I made you feel.” She looks down at your wrapped abdomen, “And I hate that you got so hurt because of me.”

You tighten your grip on her, “It’s okay.” Then, a bit playfully you add, “And don’t blame yourself, it wasn’t you who stabbed me 17 different times.”

She lifts her head and slaps your shoulder lightly, gasping. “Stop that you know what I mean.”

You laugh heartily and Tara swears she could stay here with you forever. She traces her eyes along your features and finds herself in awe of your soft beauty, as she is everytime she looks at you.

Her hand reaches up to cup your chin and her fingers splay out across your jaw. You’re utterly lovestruck as you stare into her pretty eyes.

She leans forward and gently captures your lips with hers, sighing softly into the kiss. When she pulls back, she smiles sweetly up at you.

“I feel the same way, you know. I really love you too.”

***

Tara, and by extension Sam, visit you practically everyday after that. The younger sister brings her laptop with her so that you three actually have a good selection of movies to watch. 

One night after Tara fell asleep, tucked into your side, Sam offered you an apology too. You forgave her immediately, though she hadn’t really done anything other than be her usual protective self, you appreciate the sentiment all the same.

It’s a quiet day when Mindy finally walks into your room. Sam had to sort out some work stuff, so the two sisters would be heading over a bit later.

“Hey,” she offers shyly. 

“Hi Mindy.”

“Is it okay if I come in and sit?”

“Of course yeah, sit anywhere you like.”

Seeing her here is shocking, but not unwelcome. Tara had informed you that she was trying to convince Mindy to come visit you so that she and you could talk. According to Tara, the short-haired girl was entirely sure that you hated her and would never want to speak to her again.

Mindy shifts around a little and her leg hasn’t stopped bouncing since she’s sat down.

Deciding to reprieve her from her fidgeting, you give her a small smile. “I don’t hate you Mindy.”

Her eyes are wide and they snap up to meet yours, “You don’t?”

“I don’t.”

She breathes out a sigh of relief, but still looks a little apprehensive. “I’m surprised you don’t. I would hate me if I were you.

You had thought long and hard about how you felt about Mindy, and while you were deeply hurt by her words, you could never bring yourself to hate her. You considered her your best friend for a brief moment in time and she was the only person that was there to comfort and support you when you were wallowing in your feelings for Tara.

“I thought about hating you, but I really care about you, Mins. I know that you feel some pressure to follow in your uncle’s footsteps. I just wish that you listened to me, and that you didn’t go so deep on the motive stuff.”

She cringes at the reminder, “I feel, so so stupid about that.” Her hands come up to cover her face for a moment as she groans. “I’m sorry, it was extremely shitty of me.”

“It was pretty shitty of you,” you chuckle, “but it’s okay. I’d probably be more mad if things didn’t end up working out between me and Tara.”

She smiles, “I’m happy for you both.” Her face turns more serious and she leans forward to softly place her hand on your thigh. “Genuinely though, I feel terrible. I was just so sure it was you and I guess it kind of scared me. I’m sorry, I know that’s no excuse. Is there any way I can make it up to you?”

You ponder it for a minute. Bingo. Your face twists into a smirk, “I have an idea.”

***

It’s a few hours later when Sam and Tara arrive. They’re wrapped up in a conversation as they enter, so they don’t notice the current state of your room.

Sam notices first, “What the-”

“Surprise!” you cheer.

Your hospital room has been completely rearranged. The two beds have been pushed together to form a makeshift couch, and the chairs are positioned beside each bed. Fairy lights have been strung around the room and a white sheet hangs across from the sitting area, placed perfectly in the center.

You, Mindy, and Chad (who’d been wheeled in by his sister) grin at the dumbfounded Carpenter sisters.

Sam, ever the mom of the group, raises a singular eyebrow, “What did you three do?”

Your smile stretches even wider. “We’re recreating movie night! Hope you Carpenters don’t mind not hosting for once.”

Sam rolls her eyes good naturedly at your comment. 

Tara walks over and hops up on the bed next to you. You greet her with a kiss to her cheek and she beams at you, pleased. “Baby this is such a nice surprise. But how’d you manage to put all this together?”

You share a secret little glance with Mindy, “I called in a favor from a friend.”

After a good few minutes of cheerful banter, the group settles in to watch the movie. You and Tara are pressed so close together that she’s practically sitting on your lap. 

After a week full of misery, things finally feel right. Your wounds are steadily repairing themselves and your relationships have been mended. Slowly but surely, you are healing.

Tara, the girl who started it all, who stole your heart away with her teasing smiles alone, leans over to whisper in your ear, “When you’re finally out of this hospital, I’m taking you on a date. Just me and you.”

Your eyes shine with the same love that you see reflected in hers. “I’d love nothing more.”

“It’s a date.” She kisses you chastly and quickly pulls back. Her hand reaches towards your face and when she boops your nose softly, you know you’ll be in love with Tara Carpenter for the rest of your life.

Taglist: @thenextdawn @dreifhraniquo29 @fanboy7794 @thelonewriter247 @cartierdreamx @btay3115 @friedryes @bananasplits-world @alexkolax @ordelixx @adaydreamaway08 @youralphawolf72

Note: The last installment for the series will be the alternate ending, which I hope to have finished by the end of this week. I won't be including the series taglist, so leave a comment or send in an ask if you want to be tagged in the alternate ending! Thanks for reading, the angst awaits!

[scooburst]

Scoosletter

Heya. No updates.

Am I okay: .

Things that happened: .

Log:

(This paragraph is a log I made at 6:24 AM, the rest of the log is at night)

I had to physically shut off a playlist about 5 minutes ago because i accidentally clicked one I made for someone I just lost. (They aren’t dead.) Not sure how to cope.

And now it’s later in the day

School fucking sucked. Nobody has talked this out and I’m stuck in between. Only one didn’t vent to me about it and expect me to agree. I’ve got 3 different views rhag aren’t even mine. I should’ve stopped it sooner. Instead I ignores it. I think they hate me. They should.

My parents are being rude as always. I need to move and I’m forced to sit. It’s called ADHD. Please turn down the radio I don’t like how loud it is, but instead they turned it up on purpose. It’s so loud. I’m really overstimulated now.

Only thing that really gets me happy these days is my buddies. Which is nice, since j can contact most of em whenever. But I’m still so isolated and it sucks. I don’t mind it as mcuh anymore. I think im used to it. I’m learning how to get around the limits and ways to entertain myself with them. For example: how high of a score can I get in the minute I’m allowed? What if I color swap this guy in markup? Etc. I’m getting bored again though. Working through it. Still no idea when I’m allowed time again. I know I’m getting a new phone soon since this one is 7 years old and dies whenever the fuck it wants. Slow too. It’s alright. I’m alive aren’t I?

I’ve had a few people tell me to talk to someone or get help, and I actually am, as I’ve said before :)

I am in therapy, even if it’s not as often as I’d like, and I am talking to trusted people when I need too. So please just don’t go “get help” “go to therapy”. I’m not mad about it. Just don’t like it very much. I also don’t really appreciate whoever was on anon spamming “mentally ill” earlier. I blocked them. So. Idc who they were, fuck off. I fully understand I have mental health issues and am addressing them. Cool.

That was really only like one or three folks, so don’t take that personally

Final thing is, my nose has been bleeding for a while now. I think I broke it, idk. I got punched. It’s prolly fine 👍

I’ve noticed my parents doesn’t really trust me, but I have done nothing untrustworthy and only lied when I had too. So. Maybe if they tried?

Lyric: I smile when I cry to hide what I felt, “I’m doing fine”, speak for yourself - 2085, AJR

lyric 2: you gotta get better your all that I got. - 2085 again lol

Tags: @honey-bell-aint-well @skelpiescool @doubladescimitar @mydysfunctionallife @youtry2replaceurself @100percentevil

Lmk about tags ig

[thoroq]

no because anakin was never dealt with a winning anything, my dude spent years as a slave’s kid working in the junk shop building droids as a form of fun.

i always enjoy the whole “Anakin just expected Obi-wan and Padmé to trust and listen to him?? Asshole” discourse because like… yeah??

not trying to self insert here but as a mentally I’ll individual 🫡 who in a fit of mania sometimes believes they are absolutely, 100% right and has the irrational thinking of; “im right, and you love me, you’re the person I love most, you should get it” & is totally irrationally emotional when they DONT, yeah… I GET THAT SIR!!

Even if it’s completely understandable, deep down I know they’re not at fault for not getting my own emotions, I’m in control of those — not others. I know this. Still, when my partner says something that goes against me it’s like nails against chalkboards sometimes

Again, when looking at Anakin he had nothing. He was a slave all his life, just to a different master each time. on Tatooine, to the Jedi/code, Palpatine and even to the Darth vader suit, he is never of his own free will. It was Qui-gon’s choice to win Anakin, to take him from his mother and home to what he thought would be a better life. granted it is, but he also finds himself isolated from what is imo what is supposed to be his “placeholder family”

MORE IMPORTANTLY Padmé is the love of his life, telling him that what he thinks they need, what he’s done for her and their family etc to be at peace/alive was actually WRONG!! BAD!! All meanwhile he doesn’t have any of his support at his side; Rex is off with ahsoka, obi-wan is fighting grievous on utpau meanwhile Palpatine has puppy Anakin at his every whim and call ((lets not forget that Palpatine had to have been grooming Anakin from a relatively young age)) They don’t get it, they didn’t see Padmé die before their very eyes, they don’t know what’s waiting them. Anakin is trying to save his family. Obi-Wan going against him is salt in the wound, even if Anakin himself knows it’s wrong and against the code and just completely evil.

I mean, Padmé FORGAVE him for the whole tusken massacre smh is it such a stretch to believe she would stand by his side as he waged war against the galaxy? i mean… isn’t that what love is…..? selfish, passionate, narcissistic, messy? she herself is a politician who often prioritized Anakin over her own duties I bet my man expected some “if you have a body in your trunk I’ll bring the shovel” type beat which also, i reiterate, WHY WOULDN’T HE when his wife forgave him for mass genocide, children included?,

he is emotionally/mentally fragile, he just recently slew younglings and killed Mace — you think this mf is thinking logically? Stop giving him the benefit of the doubt; he was a mess throughout the series, not once did he ever have his feet on the ground. He isn’t suddenly going to make the “right” decision, especially if it means sacrificing his loved ones. He’s an extremely flawed character, stop expecting him to make the right call.

The blocks of Anakin’s character have been set up to fall, Obi-Wan and Padmé are two of his most beloved relationships aside from his MOTHER that are completely dogging on his only hope of SAVING THEM. Anakin was never simply, “you have to do what I say or else I’ll get upset!” that’s a disrespect to his character — he can think logically. He isn’t a child. He is strategic, effective, in tcw he is the most efficient victorious warrior making Palpatine’s efforts look even better as leader of the republic. He builds droids from the time he is a young child all throughout his formative - adult years to the extent where knows how to understand their bleep bloops.

Anakin is flawed deeply, he was doomed from the get-go, never had a chance. His feelings are complex and deep and he questions the faith he swore to follow/protect. His character is so interesting to me and I have such a difficult time depicting the raw duality of man he wears on his shoulders everyday. Our desire to do good, yet to be evil; our desire to be unselfish, yet we are selfish.

This beautiful, scarred, monstrous mosaic of a man who from the very beginning, had a huge amount of pressure on him was meant to be so horribly dismantled. What other choice did he have? He is the chosen one, how could he be wrong? How could his idea of saving his family be any less honourable than the Jedi of the Galaxy?

He isn’t simply angry at them for not agreeing with him/falling with him, he feels betrayed. Personally. Obi-Wan and Padmé are pieces of Anakin, people that he loved so fiercely he labeled them as his enemies once they hurt him, he is too far gone to give them any semblance of second chances

anyways yep happy Thursday guys

[imagineanime2022]

Dazai With A 15yr Old!Reader Like Him

Dazai Osamu X Fem!Reader

Requested: Anon

Request: Hello! I was wandering if you could write either headcannons or drabble which ever you see fits better of Dazai with a 15 gn reader who reminds him of himself when he was 15.

🩹 He remembered the first time that he saw you, he froze for a second before his teasing behaviour came back. What surprised him was you teasing back, you were quick witted fast and no one escaped your perception. 🩹 Kunikida tried sneaking up on you and you flipped him over your shoulder, which he laughed at before inviting you back to the ADA. 🩹 You were in a much better place than he was when he was 15 having been taken in by the ADA instead of the port mafia. 🩹 You didn’t actively look for ways to die but you were still in harm's way more than anyone would like given your age, you were one of the youngest members. 🩹 The first time he met you he called you cute, he’s never regretted a decision more. 🩹 If there was a fight he could be sure that he’d find you in the centre protecting people, you valued other people’s lives over yours, so Dazai would often look out for you considering he cares very little for his life as well. 🩹 When you both ended up on a mission together, it was carnage, the mission would be completed but the property damage and loss of life that followed you both was a topic of discussion the moment you left the office. 🩹 Dazai trusts your judgement, he knows that you're smart and if you do something he knows that there’s a reason, he is unlikely to question you unless he thinks that it’ll put you in a better position. 🩹 He loves that you give Chuya PTSD flashbacks to when they were partners, the first time that he saw you he honestly reverted back to the days when he used to deal with Dazai and hated that you often answered the same way that he used to. 🩹 Dazai doesn’t like when you're sent out without him because he knows that you are likely to sacrifice yourself for someone else. 🩹 Dazai will try and steer you in a different direction than the one that he had taken, you were his chance to do as Oda had asked of him. 🩹 In the times that he can see you falling to the darker side of your mind he’ll step in, take the kill from you or brighten your day with some kind of joke just to make you feel better. “Let’s get out of here kid.” “I’m not done yet.” “Yes you are.” 🩹 He’d often ruffle your hair all the time. 🩹 Slips trackers into your pockets all the time and then spends the rest of his day watching what you are doing and stepping in where he needs to. 🩹 He’s always honest with you, he knows that you're smart enough to see through any lie that he told you and he knew that it wouldn’t be easy to earn that trust back after. 🩹 Never sugar coats anything. People listening to your conversations often flinch when either of you talk. 🩹 He’s probably the only one that can figure out how you're feeling and act accordingly. 🩹 The only time that people see him serious is if you're ever kidnapped, especially if it’s the mafia, he knows how combative he can be when he’s kidnapped and the only reason he’s still alive is because they know him. They don’t know you, they’ll kill you so he’ll always cut the time limit Ranpo gives in half and work by that. 🩹 “You hurt?” “No.” 🩹 You're literally bleeding out while telling him that you aren’t hurt, he’s always the one that convinces you to go see the doc. 🩹 He’s not above flinging you over his shoulder and carrying you there himself. 🩹 He’s the only person brave enough to train with you “Fight like you want to kill me, you’ll be trying to kill them.” 🩹 Dazai cares for you more than he cared for anyone else since the mafia and he honestly he’d only consider you a success if you had all of his skill with will to live.

Request Here!!

[hugsandchaos]

Hellloooo!! Guess who? ;3

I was wondering if you could write Nori and Yeva getting into a tickly situation?

Like, w/ some sneaky skills (and a whole lot of convincing), Nori and Yeva sneak out of the labs and mess w/ smth they’re not supposed to and get wrecked by said thing? (Or just Nori messing w/ smth she’s not supposed to and Yeva’s just trying to keep her sister out of trouble)

If you’re busy, I understand, thanks! :3

🧁

I’m sorry this took so long, I was jumping between projects. I hope it’s to your liking! I didn’t count the words, so I don’t know if it’s considered long.

Nori took a very slow, nearly silent step back, crouching down lower to the ground and getting ready to turn and sprint back to her, her friend’s, and her sister’s living quarters. She watched the human scientists down the hall as closely as she could and hoped they wouldn’t suddenly turn and spot her peeking out the corner just enough to see them. After a few more minutes of tense silence from her, Yeva, and Alice, the scientists finally turned and walked down one of the other halls, out of her field of view. They talked among themselves about various small things as their voices grew more distant and Nori moved as quickly as she could while maintaining as much silence as she could with her metal feet against the steel floors. Yeva and Alice followed close behind, anxiously glancing around them while Nori faced straight ahead.

They slowed down a little once their left was once again concealed by the dull, cold blue walls.“I still don’t think this is a good idea.” Yeva whispered. She didn’t see it since they were moving in a tight single file line, but Nori rolled her eyes almost playfully and grinned.”We’ll be fine, trust me. Khan and I always do this, so I know the best routes.” She whispered back, trying to ease her sister’s mind. Yeva was always the most apprehensive of the trio when it came to disobeying the humans, which often surprised people since her sister was practically the opposite. She’d listen to orders, but she did it with a scowl on her face and often would pull away from whatever human who tried to grab her to brush off the spot that they touched.

It was no secret that Nori wanted so badly to punch at least one of the professors once, but she didn’t since that would get her into enough trouble to get her sent away from her sister.“Oh, yeah. To go on your dates, right?” Alive asked in a hushed tone. A small purple blush appeared on Nori’s screen as she briefly froze and turned around. She gave Alice a small glare.”Shut up! They’re not dates! Just one on one hangouts!” She whispered. Alice covered her mouth with a hand to prevent herself from giggling at her reaction and a small, smug smile made its way onto Yeva’s face.”Sure, sis. Whatever you say.” Yeva joked quietly.

Nori held back an exaggerated groan and turned back around to keep walking. She led the other two to a door with a large, red exit sign right above it. She slowly opened the door and turned her head to peek outside.

No one.

She pushed the door wide enough to poke her head out and scanned the outside surroundings.

No one.

Nori squeezed herself through the door and held it for Yeva and Alice. She gestured for them to come outside quickly, and they did just that. Once they were out, Nori very carefully moved the door close to the doorway, then let go. The door barely clicked as it closed the rest of the way and Nori silently cheered to herself. She turned around to look at Yeva and Alice.”Alright, let’s go. The old lab is on the other side of the forest.” She said. Yeva and Alice looked at each other, thinking the same things.

‘This is a bad idea’, and ‘I don’t want to walk that far’.

When they finally got there, Yeva walked up to the wall of the building to sit with her back to it.”I need a quick break.” She said. Alice joined her and nodded in agreement. Neither were too out of breath or anything, but their legs were a little sore and both would like a moment. Yeva’s and Alice’s work was usually office-type work, but Nori was sometimes tasked to more physical work as punishment for her attitude, so she became the stronger and faster one of the three. Not by a lot, but enough so that she didn’t feel the need to join them, nor did she want to. She was too excited. Nori grabbed hold of the handle to one of the doors and pulled. When that didn’t work, she tried pushing and got the door open, allowing the bright light from Copper 9’s neighboring ringed planet and its moon to shine into the dark hall.”Well, while you two slowpokes sit out here, I’m going to go in and explore.” Nori said. Without another word, she sprinted into the abandoned facility. She heard Yeva calling for her to wait, but it didn’t entirely register in her mind since she was so excited to figure out what this “abandoned experiment” she heard so much about was.

As she ran down the single hall, Nori felt into her pockets for the flashlight she made sure to bring. The hall grew darker as she ran deeper into the abandoned, but not very old facility, and she was relieved to find the flashlight. Slowing to a stop a few meters away from the last of the moonlight, she pulled it out of her back pocket and pushed the switch upwards to turn it on. Luckily, she remembered to actually change the batteries this time. The light from the flashlight reflected a bit off the fairly dirty, but otherwise white, tiled floor and revealed a few left-behind carts with things such as surgery tools and some of those little test tube thingies. Abandoned machinery and presumably samples in small plastic bags also decorated the tops of these carts, not exactly old-looking. To be fair, this place was only abandoned a few months or so ago, and not centuries like some post-apocalyptic city from stories that don’t always make sense if there was enough time for plants to take over buildings, but not enough for a teenage protagonist to be dead or elderly already. Shaking her head to prevent herself from getting distracted, Nori brushed these findings off and continued down the dark hall. She wasn’t here to investigate the reason of the abandonment (as cool as that would be) or rant in her head about how some old 2000’s sci-fi stories don’t make sense, she was here to find the abandoned experiment.

Nori walked until the hall broke into three directions; straight ahead, left, and right. She moved her flashlight to inspect each direction. Unfortunately, none of them peaked much interest or had any signs on where her target could be, so she had to take a random guess and turned to venture down the left hall. As she walked, she began to wonder what exactly the abandoned experiment was. All she really knew was that it was in here somewhere and it caused everyone to straight up abandon the facility because it didn’t work out the way they wanted. This sounded a little stupid, but an experiment “not working out the way the scientists wanted” could mean that it ended up too dangerous. Nori wasn’t deterred by this possibility, though. If anything, it made it a bit more exciting for her.

After a few more minutes, she noticed something strange on the wall to her right and paused. She held her flashlight to shine over it again to get a proper look at it. It looked kind of like a vine or a stem, however it also really didn’t. For one, it was pink, and as far as she knew, plants were supposed to be green. Or brown if it’s a trunk. Two, it looked like it had feathers on it.

She lifted her free hand and slowly placed her hand on it to feel it. While drones didn’t exactly have nerves, they did have some small sense of feeling, and she could confirm that it was indeed feathers. She had felt them a few times before. Nori’s expression quickly shifted from curiosity to straight up confusion. Was this the abandoned experiment? Or were there other experiments in there and this was one of them?

“Weird feathery plants??” She said to herself. Suddenly, the vine shifted. She pulled her hand away quickly and watched in surprise as the vine seemed to come to life and begin moving to curl itself up. Then, it uncurled itself and began waving around.”What the...?” Nori muttered under her breath. The pink plant promptly shot out and grabbed Nori’s arm, earning a startled yelp from the now terrified drone and causing her to drop her flashlight.”What the hell?! Let go!” She shouted, her voice mixed with fear and slight anger. She began tugging on the vine, but it wouldn’t let go. It was surprisingly strong for its small size.

Then she heard something. More movement.

Nori slowly turned to the left and saw that her dropped flashlight was now illuminating the hall by a few yards. A gasp nearly left her mouth at the sight of more of those weird feather-vines, much bigger ones, creeping down the hall towards her. It didn’t, though, because it was quickly replaced by a scream.

Once Alice and Yeva had decided to get up, they got their flashlights out and headed inside to search for Nori.”I guess we should’ve known she’d go ahead without us.” Yeva said as the last bits of moonlight began leaving their side. She didn’t sound irritated, she just spoke in a “matter of fact”-ly tone.”Yeah, but she wouldn’t go too far. I’m sure she might’ve stopped by now to give us the chance to catch up.” Alice said.

“Or maybe she’s hiding somewhere to scare us.” Yeva suggested. Alice let out a small giggle and nodded in agreement. Nori has done it before, after all.

Alice and Yeva walked down the hall for a few more minutes before they reached an intersection. When Nori didn’t pop out from the left or right, they quickly came to the conclusion that she went deeper than they originally thought. They looked at their options, their lights moving from hallway to hallway.”So, which way do you think she went?” Yeva asked. As if to answer her question, Nori’s scream echoed through the hall on the left, making them both jump and turn to look at said hall.”Guess that answers your question!” Alice said fearfully before taking off into a sprint down the left hall. Yeva followed her close behind.

The two ran and called out for her, but there was no answer. The worry soon grew into anxiety and the anxiety was starting to grow into horror that the worst had happened. They ran until they found pink, feathery things that looked much like vines with the way they crept along and grew over the walls and hung from the ceiling above them. They slowed down to a stop below the vines and stared at them with confusion and apprehension.

They attempted to look beyond their lights to try to see if they could find Nori hiding somewhere, but they couldn’t.”Nori?!” Yeva called out. She jumped and quickly turned around when she heard Alice yelp, shining her flashlight in her direction to find the source of her panic. One of the bigger vines was wrapped around her waist, big enough to conceal her lower abdomen. Alice dropped her flashlight to try to pry the plant off, but it was too strong. Yeva put her flashlight in her mouth and grabbed onto the vine to help her friend break free. Neither could make it budge at all, no matter how much they tugged.”What is this thing?!” Yeva shrieked, her voice muffled and her words sounding a bit stupid by the flashlight in her mouth. Suddenly, Alice was lifted into the air and Yeva lost her grip on the vine. Both tried to reach for each other’s arms, but Alice was pulled away into the darkness before either could grab the other. Alice screamed and Yeva was about to call out her name, but then she felt something wrap around her lower leg, between her ankle and knee. She dropped her flashlight when she screamed.

She didn’t have much time to react before the vine began dragging her into the same darkness Alice had vanished to, and possibly, Nori. The flashlight was facing the right wall as she was dragged along the floor, not giving her much chance to see, but she could make out the silhouettes of more vines as she was pulled away. The deeper she was pulled, the more vines there were, and they were getting bigger. Yeva’s breathing picked up as she tried clawing at the floor, but it didn’t even slow her down. She tried grabbing onto one of the other vines, but they were alive too, and yanked themselves out of whatever grasp she managed.”No, no, no, no, no!!!” She shrieked, growing more and more desperate to escape the vine’s grip. It wasn’t hurting her, but Yeva was in too much of a panic to notice.

The flashlight was barely a small spark in the dark before she was pulled through a doorway at the other end of the hall. The light in the new room was on and she hadn’t expected it, so she squinted her eyes to give them a bit of time to adjust. Then she heard it.

“Stohohohohop ihihit!!” It was Nori. She was laughing, and it was coming from behind and above her.

Once Yeva’s eyes adjusted enough, she turned around and looked up. In the middle of the room, a bunch of bigger and smaller feather-vines hung from the ceiling and stretched out from the walls to make a sort of big circle with the biggest ones making a sort of small barrier around it, kind of like a railing. She couldn’t see Nori, but she caught a glimpse of Alice as she was placed into the circle as well. Before Yeva could say anything, another vine wrapped around one of her arms and both lifted her into the air.”Nori!!! You’re okay!!” Alice said loudly in relief. Yeva was lifted high enough to see into the circle. It kind of looked like a nest now that she could see it better, and a couple small vines rose from between the bigger ones to poke at Alice’s foot. She pulled away, but the vine followed.”Hehey! What’s gohoing ohohon?!” Alice asked. Her voice was occasionally broken by sudden giggles, and those giggles only grew louder as another vine came out to hold onto Alice’s foot, leaving it available to the feathery plants.

Nori was in a worse position than Alice. Both her arms were lifted and held firmly over her head by medium-ish vines so more small ones could stroke and wriggle against her sides and armpits, making her wiggle around and kick her legs.”Hahaha!! IhIhIhIhI dohohon’t knohohohow!! Hahahahahaha!! Hahahahaha!! Wahahahahait, no!!” Nori cackled. Another vine had crept from the side to poke at her left side. Looking at the two of them, Yeva knew she was next to join. She tried to get free, but she was grabbed by a third vine and placed into the nest-like platform.

Two of the vines that had brought her there quickly began tickling her as well, one of them brushing itself against her neck and the other lightly scratching beneath her knees.”Pfft- hahahahaha! Hahahahahaha! Hehehey!” She laughed. She scrunched up her shoulders to try to protect her neck, but the vine found a way through to continue brushing against her neck.

Alice laughed as the vines poked at the sensory numbs on her foot and pulled harder on the vine holding her leg in place while the other tried to push herself away, but it didn’t work.”Hahahahahaha! Stohohohohop! Hahahahaha! Hahahahahaha! Hahahahahahaha!” Her request was in vain as another vine grabbed her other ankle and pulled it out.”Wahahait!” Alice pleaded. Another vine came down from above to tickle her other foot, sliding itself into the “toe line” and wiggled around. Alice threw her head back as her laughter grew louder and used her arms to catch herself from falling, noticing a big vine appearing behind her and holding itself behind her, as if it was going to catch her.”Ahahahahaha!! Hahahaha!! Hahahahahahaha!! Nohohoho!! Whyhyhy thehehere?! Hahahahaha!!” She asked.

Nori rolled onto her side and tried to pull her legs up to shield herself from the ongoing assault from the vines, and it only worked for a short time. The vines on one of her sides moved out of the way to avoid being crushed, but then they just wriggled their way across her other side to get to her belly, which sent her into hysterics as it was a very sensitive spot for her, and she was already being tickled in other places. Her eyes flew open as she let out a squeal.”OHOHOH MYHYHY ROBO-GOHOHOD!!! NOHOHOHOHOT THEHEHEHERE!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! HAHAHAHAHA!!! ANYHYHYHYWHEHERE BUHUHUT THE BEHEHELLY!!!” She cackled loudly, her legs being grabbed and pulled to leave her belly open for more. Her two companions managed brief glances at each other. They were glad they weren’t being totally wrecked like her.

Until Yeva felt two more vines slither under her arms and wriggle around. That was one of her worst spots, and her reaction was immediate.”AIIIIEHEHEHEHEHAHAHA!!!” She quickly pressed her arms against her sides to protect herself and practically howled with laughter as more vines quickly came over to inspect the newly discovered weak spot. Slightly bigger and thicker vines came from below the nest and grabbed onto her wrists, slithering themselves around and up her arms.

Yeva couldn’t help but laugh at a slightly higher octave since it kind of felt like they were teasing her. They eventually reached near her shoulders and slowly lifted her arms up above her head, which left the weak spot exposed for the vines to continue.”WAHAHAIT!!!” She pleaded, but it fell on deaf ears. Two two vines continued their work, lightly scratching at the sensitive spot. On top of that, the ones holding her arms up extended the tops of their feathers to tease and tickle her more.”HAHAHAHAHA!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! HAHAHAHA!!!” Yeva struggled and squirmed in their hold, but another vines shot out of the nest and wrapped itself around both her ankles. They kept her legs in place to prevent her from kicking, so all she could really do was laugh and squeal as more vines came to test other spots like her sides and belly.

Alice grew nervous seeing that now both her friends were getting wrecked by these weird plants. She was still leaning back on her hands when one vine each secured her wrists in place. She knew she was next.”Ohohoh, nohohoho!! Hahahahahahaha!! Hahahahaha!!” Alive said. She soon felt a vine poke at her left side and squeaked in surprise, leaning to the right away from it. It didn’t really work since she was partially in the air, but then the big vine behind her moved itself to support her back better. Her arms were still trapped on either side of it, though. She felt a second vine poke at her right sight, making her move back to the left, where the first vine was waiting. Pretty soon, they reached further to limit her movement and began brushing themselves up and down her sides.

Alice’s laughter went up an octave as she shook her head.”HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! NOHOHOHOHO!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!” She laughed more as more vines came to poke and brush more against her sides, some lightly rubbing against her to tease and others just going for it.”HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! HAHAHAHA, PLEHEHEHAHASE!!! IHIHIT TIHIHICKLES SOHOHO BAHAD!!!” She pleaded. Like her friends, it didn’t work. If anything, it only encouraged the vines as she felt more vines tickling her feet, pressing and gliding across the nerve buttons and sliding into the toe line.”HAHAHAHAHA!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! WAHAHAHAIT!!!”

What felt like hours, but was actually around 30 minutes, the vines finally stopped. Slowly, one by one, they began to pull away. The girls were soon left laying limp on the nest, out of breath from the “torture” they had just endured. The vines that had been holding them in place also released them. Yeva glanced over at Nori.”I blame you for this.” She said.

“Fair enough.” Nori said with a small shrug.

Suddenly, three big vines wrapped themselves around the girls and began lifting them up. Fearing a round 2, they all started to struggle.”Wait, wait, wait, we’ve had enough!” Alice said. The vines moved them outside the nest and lowered them down onto the floor. They slowly unwrapped from them, as if trying to be gentle, and patted them on the heads. Then they returned to the nest. The trio glanced at each other.”Guess that’s all they wanted.” Alice said. Her friends nodded in agreement and they began to leave the facility, but then remembered that the hallway outside the room was pretty dark.

“Guess we’ll just put our hands against the walls?” Nori suggested. The two nodded in agreement, but then they noticed three smaller vines reach from the hall and gently place themselves in their hands.”Huh??” Nori tilted her head slightly in confusion.

“...I think they’re going to help us.” Alice guessed. She smiled at the vine and slowly closed her hand around it, careful not to hurt it.”That’s nice of them!” Yeva said, doing the same. Now that they had some friends to help them find their way better, they began walking into the hallway in a single file.

[thyme-in-a-bubble]

sunflower, chapter twelve

summary: a tale of the first day back after Spencer got shot

warnings: references to 2x15, 5x01, 9x23 and 9x24, injured Spencer, talk of trauma, talk of addiction, anxiety, allusion to being hyper focused

word count: 1301

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The first morning after he came back, the two of you slept in. Or Spencer did actually wake up at his usual early time, but you’d just crawled further into him, successfully lulling him back to sleep.

When 11 came around, you were both wide awake, lying there, cuddling as carefully as you could. Spencer was very insistent on having you pressed up against him, even with you protesting about accidentally hurting him, he wouldn’t let you out of his grasp.

That morning he told you everything that had happened. From the details about the case, to the shooting, to Garcia saving his life. You remembered her. That sweet, colourful lady had saved Spencer’s life? She was the reason he was in your arms at this very moment. You cried a lot, of course. Both of you did, trying to process the shock of it all. But he did his best to reassure you that it was okay. Even if you didn’t fully believe him, he still tried.

Later, when you were chatting about how the healing process was gonna go, he casually just mentioned the fact that he had been shot before and your eyebrows shot up.

“You have what?!” you shouted in disbelief, sitting straight up in the bed.

“Yeah,” he shrugged.

“When? Where?”

“About 4 years and 276 days ago. The case that it happened during was here in Virginia.”

“No, not where in the country, where on your body!”

“Oh, my left knee.”

Reaching down, you yanked his pant leg up revealing, sure enough, a pale scar. Tracing it with your pointer finger, you asked, still completely stunned, “how did I not know about this?”

“I don’t know, but then again I don’t know about all of your scars either.”

“Well, I think there is a big difference between my unimpressive collection of scars, all acquired during my childhood, compared to a fucking bullet wound. Why would I tell you the dramatic tale of me falling off a swing at the ripe old age of 6?”

“You fell off a swing?” he asked, generally concerned.

Looking down, ignoring his question, “I mean, I know that you work for the FBI, but for some reason, this didn’t occur to me as a possibility of what could happen to you out there.”

Interlocking his fingers with yours, “if it helps, it’s not that often that I go out into the field.”

“Well, it’s clearly often enough!”

“Y/n, look at me,” his thumb danced over yours.

Meeting his eyes, he continued slowly, making sure you absorbed every single word, “I am right here. I’m alive. And yes, I might be a little banged up right now, but that will heal, I’ll get better in no time. I know that the reality of my job is scary but trust me when I say that I’ll do everything in my power to get back in one piece to you. I love you, Y/n. I would do anything for you.”

Sniffling, you whispered, “I love you too.”

The sun had now set, and Spencer had just woken up from his third nap. Keeping his eyes closed, he took long deep breaths.

“How are you?” you asked, timidly.

“Fine,” he replied, a little too fast to be convincing.

“Do you need any painkillers? I don’t think I’ve seen you take any today,” you added, “are they still in your bag?” already on your way out to search for them.

“No thanks, I-, um, no.”

“Spencer, I can see how much pain you’re in right now, you clearly need to take something.”

“No, I don’t need any, I’m fine, can you just drop it?”

“Oh, I-, I’m sorry. I just can go if you want me to?”

“No, Y/n, that’s not what I meant. I just really don’t wanna take any narcotics.”

“Spencer, you’re healing from a gunshot wound, do you really think it’s smart not to take anything for the pain?”

Snapping his eyes open, he stared you down, “Y/n, I’m not gonna take anything. Now stop.”

Chewing on your bottom lip in order to fight the tears that you could feel coming on, you stammered, “I’m sorry if I-, I’m sorry.”

Sighing deeply, he reached a hand out for you to come near, “don’t be sorry, I-… Y/n, 7 years ago I was kidnapped by this man, Tobias Hankel. He had multiple personalities and he drugged and tortured me. I, um… Tobias, he saved my life… gave me CPR…” keeping his head down, struggling with the words, “a-after that, I had a problem, with Dilaudid, still do, that never really went away… but I’ve been clean for many years now.”

Keeping quiet, you didn’t know how to respond. “Spencer, I’m so sorry. I’m sorry I blabbered on about painkillers, god I’m an idiot. I’m so sorry that happened to you. I wish I could take that away, make it disappear.” Scrambling, trying to find something, anything that could make this just a little bit better, “what can I do? What do need?”

Closing his eyes again, he breathed out, “I don’t know.”

Standing up, you attempted, “okay, what’s your favourite food?”

Chuckling lightly, he replied, “jello, why?”

“I’m gonna go get you some.”

“You are?” he opened his eyes again.

“Yes.”

Knowing you too well, he hesitated, “you really don’t have to-,”

“Spencer, please just let me, I feel absolutely terrible. Can I just do this one thing for you?” you pleated.

Waiting a moment, he agreed slowly, “alright. If you want to, but you really don’t have to.”

Already halfway out the door, “I know, I want to.”

You never really left your apartment. Well, you went to go talk to Anna, but you didn’t really do much else outside your home. It’s not that you couldn’t, it’s just that there were much more important things for you to use your energy on. There were so many things out there that added up and made the whole experience just be too overwhelming, and the aftermath ruined your ability to get anything else done, so most of the time, you stayed inside. That worked. Stevie helped you buy groceries, and honestly, you’d perfected the art of whipping up something edible out of next to nothing.

So going down to the store, at night, was… a lot.

But it actually went surprisingly alright. Or well, alright considering. You were so hyper-focused on the task at hand that it wasn’t that bad. Needless to say, you did stand in the hallway for a good 14 minutes before entering the apartment once more, taking the time to just breathe and let your body react to the chaos of the world. You didn’t want Spencer to see, not tonight, he already had enough on his plate.

Once you felt ready, you flapped and shook your hands a bit to rid yourself of the rest and walked through the door. Heading straight into the kitchen, you procured a spoon and ventured forth into the bedroom.

“I didn’t know what flavour your favourite was,” holing up the crackling plastic bag, “so I just got a bit of everything.”

With a look of utter awe, he muttered, “you got me jello? God, you’re an angel.”

Setting the full bag down at the end of the bed, you pulled a few of the small plastic cups out, “so what do you want? I’ve got strawberry, lemon, green apple, cherry, um, I think there’s a single raspberry one somewhere in here…”

“They all sound great,” he smiled.

“Cherry it is then,” handing him the little container and the spoon you’d procured, “here you are, good sir.”

Grabbing a hold of your hand as he took the items from you, he beamed, “I love you. Thank you for taking care of me. “

next chapter

© 2022 thyme-in-a-bubble 

[guttedwhxre]

If it isn't to much trouble could I get a part 2 to this

https://at.tumblr.com/guttedwhxre/how-theyd-get-rid-of-you-multiple-slashers/fxizdaigb1rq

Where they regret it?

hmmm, you might not like my answer anon! for context, this is part two of these headcanons! enjoy <3

tw: cheating, violence

ARE THEY SORRY? - jennifer check, michael a. myers, billy loomis and stu macher, jesse cromeans

JENNIFER may come back…eventually. if she can prove to herself that she won’t accidentally harm you in some way, she’ll work up the courage to confront you again - not once apologizing, instead poutily demanding you let her back in. 

if you say YES, she’ll be elated, quickly resuming your relationship as if nothing happened. late one night, when she thinks you’re asleep she’d apologize. don’t say anything, just let her have her moment. 

if you say NO, thankfully she wouldn’t get violent. jennifer would stiffen up and grow cold, just like before as she whisked away from you - and you’d never hear from her again.

if you tell her YOU NEED TIME, she’d acquiesce - BUT she’ll never leave you alone. essentially you’d gain a pseudo-stalker, she’s everywhere you are and somehow is always finding a way into your house - making conversation and prodding/teasing at you like before. whether or not you tolerate this is up to you, but trust me, without an answer she’d be hard to get rid of. 

MICHAEL wouldn’t feel sorry. plain and simple anon, i’m sorry to break it to you. it would take A LOT to get michael to a breaking point, as he has learned to be a very patient man, and believe it or not he often managed to dole out a little bit more just for you. whether you’re alive or not matters little to him now, just stay out of his way. should you ever run into him, pretend like you didn’t see him, and he’ll do you just the same. 

BILLY AND STU could feel regret. possibly. it’s not entirely in their nature but once they see the streets ain’t shit and you were the only one that would ever truly be there for the both of them, they might come groveling back - now that’s if they cheat on you! if they feel as if you’ve broken their trust, safe to say they’re never coming back - and if they do, it’s not for a fun little reunion. so, the only reason they’d come back is if they cheated - they’d show up in your bedroom late one night, stu coming in through your door and billy your window. they’d lay by you however long it took for you to awaken, breathing heavily and giggling as they keep making eye contact with each other. you’ll wake up to the unpleasant surprise of their gazes raking over your face, as they then proceed to ask, no, insist that you take them back. 

if you say YES, stu will smile with glee, pumping his fist in the air as billy’s hand slowly begins to slide down your thigh, stu’s hand finding purchase at your hips to squeeze shortly after. que a night of some of the roughest sex of your life, only to find the bed devoid of two men in the morning. there’s a 50/50 chance of you still finding the duo in your house at all - if you do, well, lucky you - if not, i mean, this wasn’t the best judgment call was it? 

if you say NO then stu quickly frowns, billy scowling at you as he scoffs and sits up. que the sludge of the most demeaning things the brunet can think of spilling out of his mouth, poking at your insecurities and raging about how much of an ungrateful slut/f-slur/piece of shit you are. stu will giggle not-so-silently in the background, the weight of the men lifting from the bed as they leave. from there on out, your life is a living hell for as long as it takes them to get bored - slashed tires, dead animals in your house, if you have anything compromising or personal stored on any of your computers that is sent to your place of work, parents, etc. just don’t react. they’re essentially trying to make you a prisoner in your own life, so do your best to take it all in stride - or get far away for a long, long time. these two are not for the weak. 

if you say that YOU NEED MORE TIME, they are not understanding and demand an answer right away - don’t think they won’t stoop so low as to put a knife to your throat, or verbally threaten to kill you. answers under duress are still answers, after all.

JESSE, like michael, probably wouldn’t regret it at all either. unlike the shape, he’d think about the ‘what-ifs’ and what life would be like if you were still alive, but none of it is out of regret. more like a wistful sense of pity he has for you being such an idiot. he was sure to make you suffer before you died. occasionally, he’ll put on the tape he took of your brutal death - just to reminisce. 

xoxo, babe 💋

[kaylapocalypse]

The descriptions for your books you posted earlier looked so good I had to journal abt how excited I am for over an hour and then run around in the yard it filled me with so much energy and excitement and I’m really happy you’re writing. Your books are amazing and make me feel so much better about the world and feel like I can be full of trust and joy and they make me feel full of love and also make me think and research and learn and have more open conversations in my life and they invite me to consider things differently sometimes and I just really appreciate them and you. To me you feel like a person who cares very much about the people growing up and them having access to the resources and stories they need to grow. Even when I encounter something I don’t think is exactly how I want one of my identities represented (little things, you do a great job and ik everyone feels the world differently) I still feel so much love in those things, I feel safe in your stories and I can always feel so much respect and care in everything. I treasure the experiences I’ve had with your works and revisit the stories often. I’m really really excited about everything you have coming and the descriptions look amazing!! Both of them look so fucking cool

Thank you so much, this genuinely made me stop wishing I wasn’t alive.

[moonfurthetemmie]

Untitled.MP4

Previous | Next | First (with warnings)

Part 15

June 29, 20XX.2

Mercury sits in front of the camera. His eyes are bloodshot. Most of the lights are out.

“Zuli…Zuli’s asleep.” Mercury rubs his face. He’s clearly exhausted. 

“He hasn’t really gotten better since he saw Jade this morning. Not that I can blame him…That sounds fucking horrific.”

He sighs, and stares off.

“I…Don’t have anything important to say, really. I just…I’ve been thinking about everyone. How they ended up here. Zuli’s been asleep for a while now, and I need someone to talk to, so…”

He looks up at the camera uncertainly.

“No one- except for Koroit, sort of, no one wanted to be here. No one. I got dragged here because Obsidian realized he’d need a doctor. Zuli was put in a cell for reasons unknown to me, but Jasper said he was put in there alone, and Obsidian usually does, like, batches of prisoners. I didn’t know there was anything unusual about it until he told me, when we were coming back from sealing the basement from the infection. He told me the only reason Zuli comes up as often as he does is because Jade found him down there, brought him up, and was banned from the dungeon but told Zuli could come up if he was good and ‘asked’. I don’t think Jade knew Zuli was still down there. I think Obsidian told him Zuli was let out for good.

“Jasper hasn’t talked about his story, but he’s been here longer than anyone, even Zircon. Zircon refused to join Obsidian on the first offer, and now his spouse is dead and Obsidian’s holding his daughter as blackmail- assuming he hasn’t actually killed her and was just saying she’s alive to keep Zircon compliant. He implied his home was destroyed, too.”

Mercury props his head up on the desk with his arm. His voice fills with emotion as he continues. 

“Koroit he found in the Anti-Void. She barely even remembered her name, but he told her she worked for him, and she’s been working pretty willingly ever since. I don’t know where she is from, but I’m sure he hadn’t known her before then. I don’t think he even fully trusts her, either.

“I don’t think Silver’s ever talked about how they got here, except maybe to Paraiba, but I remember when they first got here. They were so miserable and nihilistic. They weren’t even part of the team at first; I think Obsidian was just absorbing their negativity. They only became part of the team because Paraiba showed up, became friends with them, and taught them to fight so Obsidian wouldn’t kill them when he got tired of them. Now they stay alive as long as they’re useful and do as their told.”

“And Paraiba- despite how much she likes to talk, she doesn’t talk much about how she ended up here. I know her AU was different from most of the ones we’re familiar with. I’d call it a sort of…high-fantasy AU, based on what she’s said. I think Obsidian killed her friend–or maybe sibling? I’m not certain what exactly they were to her–and he brought her to the manor after she tried to fight him. If she doesn’t do as she’s told, he’ll kill her.”

His voice starts to shake.

“Jade was locked in his room for a very long time when he first got here. No one was allowed to interact with him except for Obsidian. Even Jasper was only allowed to bring him food, and nothing else. When he was finally let out, he…he didn’t seem to understand that he was being abused.”

Mercury takes a few deep breaths. He stares off for a moment, lost in thought.

“...God, I’m even starting to feel bad for Obsidian, in a weird way. I mean…I don’t think I’ve ever seen him happy. Not genuinely happy. He’s always angry or irritated or bored, and it’s…it’s just kind of sad. He’s doing all of this, causing all of this suffering, and it’s not even really making him happy most of the time. I don’t think he even realized it. And now he’s probably living one of his worst nightmares.”

He laughs dryly. 

“He deserves some of it. But it’s…This thing is starting to get to me, god. I can’t believe I feel bad for that bastard.”

He runs a hand through his hair. He’s starting to look even more tired than before.

“...I should probably go to bed. Sleep deprivation isn’t going to help us any.”

He reaches out his hand.

The video ends.