#i’m so glad he’s dust so we can talk about how dope this whole thing actually was. buck buckley your hamster is a research interest of mine | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

loquaciousquark · 4 years ago

Text

Talks Machina Highlights - Critical Role C2E111 (Sept. 29, 2020)

@eponymous-rose‘s internet is out tonight, so I’m here late and without coffee! Let’s see how many typos we can fit into an hour and a half episode.

Tonight’s guests: Ashley Williams JOHNSON, oops!! & Liam O’Brien!

We open with Brian in light-up vented sunglasses and Henry at his side, as always. Dani is very excited to be back and has fun-buns in her hair tonight. So cute! Everyone talks about how much they’re Zooming these days for work, and Liam mentions he and Matt & Marisha did a digital cocktail night. He and Dani arrange on camera to have a distanced, masked meetup in the park so Dani can see Liam’s dog again.

No announcements! Tonight, we’re discussin’ episodes 110 and 111.

Starting with the end, Brian jumps right to it by asking how they feel that Molly is alive. Liam 100% thought we’d be back to him, but still wasn’t ready when it happened. Caleb doubted he was alive. Both Liam & Ashley marvel at the numerology that keeps cropping up throughout the show. Brian hates not being able to see it at the same time the show happens live; Ashley was biting her tongue not telling him spoilers. (He doesn’t want to hear spoilers unless Yasha dies so he can be there for Ashley if needed.) Brian says he has a little reality trauma from the night Pike died in the pre-stream game; it was the first time he’d realized how much it affected the players.

Ashley’s realized how much she misses unpacking the game with Brian when they get home. She just has to sit with it until everyone else gets to see it. Brian: “Instead she comes home and I have to fill her in on the Real Housewives of Amarillo, Texas.”

Reunion dinner with Trent! Liam talks about how the way things unfolded with Trent is not at all how he imagined it in his pre-game creation; he’d expected more of a fracas, more of an unexpected clash. “Caleb might have been a different person if he’d run into these people earlier in the story. The M9 changed him before [Trent & co] came back and got to him.” He’d imagined Astrid & Eodwulf to be complicated encounters, but says what Matt’s designed has been even harder than that. A fight on a mountain is one thing, but walking into a room with “what Trent dropped, is impossible to cope with.” It also means that if what Trent said is true, anything Caleb does now is effectively of Trent’s design, even killing him.

He doesn’t think Caleb would have gone anywhere near Trent & co without the M9. “The Mighty Nein--it took a long time--but they cracked Caleb open like a walnut.”

He thinks what Matt has done is much more murky than the simplicity of murder, such as the Briarwood arc. He can’t just exact his revenge now.

Liam says that the tempation to tinker with time is no longer as all-consuming as it was. He might still be tempted if Matt dangles a bunch of carrots in front of him, but he thinks that now it might be better to make sure that that kind of thing doesn’t happen anymore for anyone else (!!!). “It’s still a nugget in his brain and it’s still possible he could be tempted by the drug, but what he wanted in the beginning was entirely selfish, but now that the M9 are involved he owes it to them, to the people of the country, even on the Dynasty side--is so complex that if Caleb were to get that carrot and chase it, he would be risking everything.”

Ashley agrees that most of their choices are no longer black and white. Many of the situations feel more like real life. Liam agrees and says he’ll sometimes make decisions that he’s both really happy with and regrets at the same time. They both look forward to what Matt will reveal in Act 3.

Brian feels it’s tough to gauge how deep they are into what Matt’s planned for the campaign. Liam says that thanks to Matt’s skill, he really doesn’t know what Caleb wants right now.

Ashley agrees, and talks about how she created Yasha to have more to overcome than Pike. She loves what Matt’s doing in terms of allowing each of them to overcome more emotional hurdles than physical ones in this campaign.

Going back to Molly’s grave was very exciting for Ashley since she wasn’t able to be there when he died in the game & wanted to do what she could to honor him. Yasha, however, was very hesitant but knew what needed to be done. She’s not very open with her emotions, but both she & Ashley were stressed. They all could feel the energy in the studio & knew Matt was about to do something mind-blowing. Liam: “You could feel all the dust in the air coalescing around Taliesin.”

Brian trips over Eodwulf. Liam tries to help him find some pronunciation shortcuts. Ashley: “You say it so beautifully.” Brian: “Thank you.” Ashley: “Not you.”

Caleb knows how wickedly intelligent & ambitious Astrid is, and was heartened by the wavering he saw in her at the dinner. However, he can’t trust her until he knows why she’s where she is.

He really feels that if they’d had this dinner 60 episodes ago, Caleb might have tilted back along the evil axis and he would have had to retire the character. He had a playlist entirely for if Caleb turned evil and left the party.

The vision of Zuala was a huge deal for Yasha, even along every other instance she’s had of being mind-controlled, etc. “That’s guilt I think she will always carry with her, but at least she’s starting to forgive herself.” Losing the chains, sprouting wings again--Ashley reiterates that she didn’t know that was even a possibility, she just picked the skeletal wings because they were dope--were huge moments in the character development. Ashley’s glad Beau was there at the moment of the first flight; Ashley thinks of the quotation “Happiness is only beautiful when it’s shared,” and because Yasha tends to keep things very much to herself, having someone there to share it made it more impactful. “That was a cool moment. There’s been a lot of healing for Yasha these last episodes.”d

Ashley also says sometimes in that moment, when all eyes are on you in a one-on-one with Matt, everything goes muffled like Saving Private Ryan. “Wub wub wub.”

Dani feels that the only way she could even have the conversation with Zuala was to let her go in the first place.

Liam thinks one of the things that Yasha & Cad share is that still waters run deep. He loves how much Yasha hangs back sometimes, only to then reveal some new moment like the fighting pit. Apparently Ashley also has a knife collection, and uses that metal side of herself when she wants to let that new side of Yasha show.

Cosplay of the Week: Crystal Armstead (@riyuski on twitter) in a Reani cosplay. Beautiful!

How does Liam feel about the return to Rexxentrum? Very, very complicated. Caleb loves magic and lights up when he sees it, which is wrapped in the Soltryce Academy; he brought folks to the dance hall for the same reason, which was wanting the M9 to see the things that he loved about the city.

Yasha felt the same way about visiting the Chantry of the Dawn. It was a memory of a very traumatic moment (almost killing Beau), but given everything that’s happened between then and now it was cathartic to see again. There’s been a lot of healing in the past few weeks. It also felt like a physical representation of Yasha’s growth, the last time she was controlled against her will like that (or at least, until she was mind-controlled by Vokodo. Ashley sighs, aggrieved.)

Brian: “The tower really feels like a love letter from Caleb to his friends.” Liam: “It is, and a love letter from Liam to his friends.” When he looked at Caleb’s spell list, he remembered how amazing the mansion was in Campaign One and how many role-playing moments it led to and knew he wanted to incorporate it. However, he knew it could never be the same as Scanlan’s mansion because Caleb doesn’t have the same improvisational genius as Scanlan does. Liam has been “tinkering with this machine” for over a year, waiting for the moment to reveal it. He loves that he got a chance to see Jester’s room in time to have her tower room reflect reality. He’d discussed the tower extensively with Dani & Matt. Brian: “Hey! What am I, chopped--what’s the saying?” Ashley: “Chopped cabbage?”

Ashley marvels at the design of the dome. Liam talks about how Caleb knowing Caleb has been abused has been slowly getting better, but he also loves now being able to juxtapose that healing with his innate love of magic and how beautiful he finds it, how he loves to use magic as his artistry. The Soltryce Academy wasn’t “Welcome to DEATH SCHOOL,” it was the Sorbonne. It was amazing, everything he wanted. It was only one bad apple within that recruited him and turned it all bad.

Liam also points out how much it means in real life to be able to express his love and care for his friends in person too.

Ashley talks about how much she loves Yasha’s armor in a meta sense because it’s so cool and useful, and great for her armor class, but struggles with what it represents in game. She might not be able to let it go due to its sheer utility, and she may have to find an in-game reason to justify keeping it.

Ashley segues a moment into talking about her velvet top which apparently has a matching velvet scrunchie. She’s asked to demonstrate the scrunchie and ties her hair up in a way that I have never in my life seen someone do with a scrunchie before, and my hair’s been waist-length most of my life. I watch it again in slow motion. How did she DO that??

Caleb’s been looking for the right time to tell Jester about his past for a long time. She’s a good person and makes him feel like he might be capable of becoming a good person at the end, because that’s how she saw him. Liam knew from Laura that Jester wouldn’t condemn him, but Caleb put it off as long as possible. He also wanted to take the time to make sure Caduceus & Yasha knew the whole story too before they went to dinner with Trent.

Liam was also relieved to get it out, because he could never remember who knew and who didn’t, and now he doesn’t have to track it anymore. “Now we can move forward. Now we can heal wounds, maybe.”

Ashley feels Cad picks up a lot, more than most people realize. Yasha was really affected by Cad’s line: “Patience can be good, but it can lead to apathy.” She really feels it opened her eyes, and she appreciated the simplicity of him pointing out her hair’s growing back white again. Having a friend notice “hey, you’re changing for the better” really means a lot. She’s interested in seeing how this means things might change with Beau.

Dani points out that it also reinforced for Yasha that she can want things too--she can be patient and just continue to be with the group, as she’s wanted, but it’s okay to want more than that too. Ashley remembers Veth asking her what her purpose is. There’s a part of her that knows Yasha is still figuring that out, and she’s interested to see how Yasha will continue to change. She’s always spent her life serving somebody--the Sky Spear, Obann--and then even after she joined the M9, it was very centered on “what do you need, what does the group need, how can I help with our next job?” She’s going to have to take some time to figure out what she wants.

Fanart of the Week! Lovely Yasha & Beau flight art by @JMNP7888. The wings look amazing!

Brian: “One of the things we want to talk to you about, Liam, is about the Vokodo fight and the FUCKING disintegrate spell.”

Liam: “That was one of the most insane 60-90 seconds of gameplay that ever existed for the table, and definitely for me, in the entire history of the show. A lot of people think I just went, oh man, just bet it all on black. But what if I told you that...I Larkin’d the first 20 seconds of that fight and then at a quarter to midnight, I forgot that the reflection was a thing? I just forgot it was a thing! I spent that whole battle thinking I’m just here to banish things. I might buff my friends a little bit, maybe I’ll counterspell, but I’m just here to banish. And it didn’t work and it didn’t work and then it did! Finally it did and Jester made it work and then he was GONE. And then everyone got greedy and it was done but we brought him BACK. And it was a quarter to midnight and I’m not an animatronic D&D lesson machine, I’m just a guy playing D&D at 11:45 at night, and he came back and everyone started Goodfellas circling him and kicking him, and Beau & Yasha are gonna kill him, and then it’s my turn? Disintegrate! And then the room was quiet, and then time passed, and Matt asked, you really cast Disintegrate? And I said yes, of course, and Matt started rolling dice, and in the back of my head I started wondering why he asked if I was rolling Disintegrate. Oh no. In the back of my brain, I was like, well, just tell him that’s not what you did. Tell him you didn’t remember the reflection thing. But he’s already rolling dice! You can’t take it back now. Hold on a second. I’m going to take you on the journey I went through. I was thinking: you have a spell save of 17. This thing wasn’t that fast. +1, +2, maybe? Anything under 14 is okay. That’s 70%. 70%. That’s okay, right? And still no one said anything to tip me off that I was in ELDRITCH MADNESS at that point, no one said anything about the reflection! And then I realize it can reflect back on us, and I realize this is...disintegrate. And then I started becoming morbidly, macabre-ly fascinated at the puppet dance of death I had created. Well, this is a mess. I have made a mess. Let’s just sit in it. And somehow, nonsensically, spectacularly, it worked out in my favor. I went home that night and I got in bed next to my wife, who was fast asleep, and I stared at the ceiling going, dude. Duuuuuuuude. Duuuuuuuuuude.”

He apparently also told his therapist about this and how terrible it was and how close he “danced myself to the precipice like a crazy person!” Marisha (as told by Liam): “Epic roll, though.”

Matt told Liam that night that if it had been reflected, it would have gone back on him. “If a player throws an M80 in the middle of a room, it would reflect on that player who threw it.”

Ashley talks about how interesting that Yasha is not performative, and yet has been doing these public performances with the harp. It’s a great experiment for Ashley--Yasha doesn’t like the attention, but feels like she is making something beautiful for the world.” She’s trying to change something about how she views herself & her place in the world. She was raised to be a weapon for the Sky Spear, but she’s also extremely gentle and loves flowers & beautiful music, and the further away she’s gotten from the tribe, she’s falling in love with gentle, beautiful things.

Liam also points out it easy (real, but simplistic) to make an entire character centered around a single personality trait: “I’m angry all the time. I’m sad all the time.” He thinks it’s more realistic to see nuance in personality.

Liam can see some paths for Caleb to find peace & do good. He doesn’t know if Caleb is conscious of those. He thinks it’s a huge step forward to admit he was molded in this direction at all and that it wasn’t all his choice, but doesn’t know if this is the same possibility as redemption.

He also mentions Essek in this answer: there was/is attraction there, both intellectual and physical--the forehead kiss was a big marker of that--and he’s interested in seeing where that goes because he’s invested in Essek’s redemption arc on its own, but Essek is not as high on the list as other things Caleb/the M9 need to work on. He loved the “high spy times” of the Essek arc and the tangled-up-ness of feelings getting involved at the same time as intense commitment to duty.

Liam always felt Matt would bring Molly back in some aspect, even though Caleb always demurred because he doesn’t believe in fate. Dani and Brian agree that this is the start of a new act.

Ashley cried at the Vilya reunion. She thought that was an incredible moment and was so glad to see Keyleth. Liam: “Keyleth as part of our story is everything to me. That story is really important to me, so getting just a glimpse of her again was so important to me.” They could all see how that affected Marisha & how special it was to her. Liam: “It was such a great note in her song or color in her painting. She achieved magnificent things and was powerful and great, but had a very heartbreaking and sad ending, so to have this sliver of joy go back in is so complex and beautiful and masterfully done.”

Aaaaaaand that’s all for tonight! Remember, no Critical Role this week. Talks will be back in two weeks. As always, don’t forget to love each other. <3

#talks machina #critical role #talks machina spoilers #critical role spoilers #long post #long post for ts

764 notes · View notes

tactyl-ymon · 5 years ago

Text

Dnd session recap - Broken bonds and bodies

You know what, this is becoming kind of a standard disclaimer at this point. But sweet fuck I am bad at doing these write up’s in a timely manner. Not that it matters, but I’m trying to get better I promise. Anyway, on with whatever I can remember from a session from about 2 months ago!

We start with a bit of a rewind and some Vieraen shenanigans that took place part way through last session. While everyone is out finishing a dark ritual to summon a tower, Vieraen is out to be a menace. He finds some children in an alley and asks them if they know how to delete someone or if there is anyone who would know … how to delete someone. They end up taking him to a ramshackle tent in one of the slums with basically the most kiwi orc ever known named Jake Johnson and then get to talking about poisons and just how good they are. After a bit of back and forth, they come to an agreement. Jake will help Vieraen make some dope poisons, but he needs to test them on the drow rogue … and by test we mean stab viciously in the gut to see how the poison affects someone,. Seeing nothing wrong with this, Vieraen gets poked and takes a ludicrous amount of damage. After a fairly long session of knifey stabby, Vieraen leaves his new friend, both with a greater understanding of how poisons hurt and several minor stab wounds he heads up to one of the main magic shops in town to try and sell some things and get a fancy new dagger. He starts talking with the Halfling shop owner about the dagger he wants and what it would take to reduce the price before he pulls out one of the gems he’d picked up from the tunnels leading to the witches den on our last group assignment. Fun fact about the gems he got, they’re all really good at containing a specific type of magic and the one he was trying to sell was a fully charged fireball set to explode at the slightest nudge. Somehow not noticing the halfling’s wide eyed terror that this drow hooligan basically just walked into his shop with a live grenade, Vieraen mentions he’s got like 10 more in his bag if the owner would be willing to trade. Things escalate, the shop owner wants Vieraen out of his shop, Vieraen reeeeally wants that dagger though. Vieraen mentions he’s not leaving without that dagger as the shop owner uses the moment to cast a suggestion that Vieraen should leave. Under a compulsion to gtfo, Vieraen wanders outside and the shop owner locks up behind him. With that taking up most of his day, Vieraen heads back to the barracks to sleep everything off and wait for everyone to get back from whatever errand Core sent everyone on.

Seeing as the weird sylph didn’t eat anyone in their sleep, the tower crew heads back to the barracks for a quick breakfast and fill Vieraen in on what they found before everyone gets a message from Core about a bar fight nearby he needs everyone’s help with. Feeling the need to brawl, Eridol and Drackuss lead the charge and as they slam open the tavern doors they find absolutely nothing. No brawl, just a couple drunks from the night before passed out on the bar and Core getting playfully batted at by probably the most adorable cat anyone had ever seen. Core introduces his new friend as Whisky Whiskers, she’s a 2 ft tall munchkin cat person and also a monk, also she drunk Core under the table last night. Honestly, it would have been more adorable if she wasn’t here to keep an eye on Eridol and his constant teetering on the edge of a mental breakdown. With introductions made, Eridol asks if this was the bar fight he needed help with and with the magic words said, Drackuss starts a one man brawl with the drunks at the bar, breaking a chair over one and piledriving one through a table that leaves most of the poor man’s blood on the outside. Everyone tries to stop the dragonborn juggernaut, but it’s our new friend Whisky who manages to stop the beatdown with a stunning strike that lasts long enough for everyone sober enough to act to restrain Drackuss while Eridol feverously heals the men. Drackuss’s holy medallion slides to the floor in several pieces but this goes unnoticed by everyone but Drackuss and as far as he’s concerned, the less people who know about his broken oath at the moment the better. Drackuss apologises, he’s just been so antsy for a proper fight recently and this got the best of him. Eridol is too busy healing the patrons to notice and everyone else didn’t really care that much. Drack gonna drack.

With nothing really to do for the next day and a half due to Core needing to do more research on the giant tower that apparated out of the earth and Emmi heading back to her ship several towns away for some me time, everyone else decides it’s time to hit the bath house to relax and mostly to clean Eridol because even without the gore from the past few battles still hanging off his armor making him smell like ham and sadness, he’s still not really been taking care of things. Most of the group grabs a communal bath to chat and everything while Drackuss gets a bath on his own away from the group. Whisky gets to know everyone and generally makes Eridol uncomfortable with all the invasions of his personal space, asking if he’s ok and just generally not letting him mope, the group starts drinking away the day and having as much fun as a group of hardened adventurers can do in a communal bath house. Drackuss sneaks out of the bath house and heads into one of the nearby forests, driving by an urge and whispers in his head he ends on coming across the camp of one of our previous allies, Olgum the hobgoblin fighter. They have a tense conversation while Drackuss draws his sword, proclaiming he’s been sent here to retrieve something Olgum doesn’t deserve anymore. A shield Olgum has but refuses to use properly. A shield used to solidify a connection to Bhaal, the god of murder. Drackuss needs it and he intends to take it one way or another. It is less a fight and more an execution as Drackuss murders his once friend and ally. With the final blow a new connection is made between Drackuss and the evil god he now serves. He takes the shield, a ring and some trinkets before setting the camp ablaze and returning to the bath house, the rest of the group none the wiser because we’ve been drinking together in the bath for the past 4 or so hours. They all talk about plans for the next few days, Vieraen wants to head back to the magic shop to see if he can talk that dagger into his pants and Eridol mentions everyone should come to the pits tomorrow to see him fight, it’ll be great. This is definitely not a cry for help, don’t worry about it.The crew heads up to the fight pits to cheer for Eridol as he tries to let off some steam against a hill giant they had all fought as a group several weeks ago that had a bone to pick with the tiny gnome who burst his chest open last time. Bets are placed and buffs are sneakily applied before they fizzle out entirely when Eridol enters the ring. The fight starts with a bang of holy light from Eridol that sends the giant reeling. The show is fierce and comes to a head when the giant throws several boulders, most of which hit Eridol as he is feebly trying to close the distance to the giant with his tiny gnome sized legs. They trade blows for what seems like hours until both are left broken and bloody with just enough energy for one last clash. Eridol gets off a fantastic hit to the ogre’s side, mirroring the last killing blow he gave the giant in the group fight while the giant swung down with his literal tree trunk of a club, hitting eridol dead on. The crowd grows quiet as the dust settles and only one of the combatants is visible. The giant’s hand twitches and a gnome wriggles out from under the tree trunk. Bruised, bloodied and broken but somehow victorious. The crowd erupts in cheers as the fight pit’s healing field brings the giant back to consciousness. Both fighters bow to each other and the crowd, glad to have put on a show and bury the hatchet in each other as it were. The group comes down to Eridol’s prep room to see the gnome slumped against one of the walls, letting the rooms healing aura mend some of his shattered bones as the bruises set in and he starts the process of making sure everything heals properly. Congratulations are given and Eridol gives a shaky thumbs up in response before basically passing out. Thoroughly spent from the fight and mumbling that he’ll see everyone back home once the post fight shakes go away and Eridol gets to take care of what he thinks is a concussion.

Vieraen mentions that they should go back to the magic shop in the mean time and off they trot to the Magical emporium to find it still locked and no signs of life. Which is weird, this place never closes, especially not for days at a time. The group decides this is a mystery worth solving as the poke and prod the building for clues and they end up in one of the back alleys all looking for a secret entrance. Not wanting to cause a scene, Drackuss decides to disguise himself as Core, our government official patron so he can hand wave away any nosey villagers who notice us totally not criminals slinking out behind a shop full to the brim with magical artifacts. After several more failed attempts to break into the place either to look for clues or so Vieraen can steal his dagger, the group decides they should notify Core because this is worrying and obviously someone further up the chain should be told about this. Core arrives out the back of the shop to see the group and his doppelganger that was Drackuss as they go over everything, Core admits it is a bit weird that the shop is closed and if they have any other ideas to get in. Vieraen thinks for a second and pulls out the fireball gem that honestly started this whole mess and mentions if they throw it at the door it should get through and as a group they all decide that yes, this is the way forward and the gem is yeeted at the building. The gem containing a charged fireball. Surprising literally everyone, it explodes and sets some of the neighbouring fences on fire but with no damage to the shop, y’know because it’s a magic shop and has preventative measures for this. Someone mentions that they should get Eridol down here to help treat any of the mild injuries, Vieraen takes it upon himself to call the cleric over their necklaces. With non existent panic in his voice he shouts “Eridol, you should come quick, someone’s about to die”, which gets a genuinely panicked response from the still recovering cleric that he was on his way.Realising that Eridol would be expecting to see some kind of injury, Vieraen turns to Drackuss and asks the now evil paladin if he could “Stab me real bad” which is really all Drackuss needs to hear as he turns on the drow and Vieraen realizes sometime between the first and second hits this was maybe a mistake because Drackuss is actually trying to kill him. Chaos ensues as Vieraen attempts to get away from his would be executioner, Whisky jumps up and tries to stun the dragonborn as Core and Tornur trade throwing themselves in front of the drow rogue with arcane shields a plenty to absorb the hits. No one knows what is happening, Drackuss is on the war path and obviously willing to cut them all down to get to Vieraen. Someone gets on the necklaces to let Eridol know that Drackuss has gone insane which is another heaping spoonful of terror Eridol tries to keep down as he is running through the streets, still covered in gore from his exhibition match in the pits. While Core and Tornur protect Vieraen, Core yells for Whisky to get out and that she needs to find Eridol. Whisky nods and takes off as fast as her tiny feline legs can go. Now without one of their trump cards to slow drackuss down, Tornur comes up with a plan and conjures a thick cube of webbing to restrict the raging paladin and slow him down long enough for Core to cast haste on everyone and get a glimpse of the cursed shield in Drackuss’ possiession. Between the haste, Vieraen’s innate knowledge of the city and Drackuss’ restricted movements they all get away and start running back towards the fight pits to regroup and call on the city guards. With his prey getting away, Drackuss knows the opportunity is lost and starts heading back to the barracks to either funnel everyone into a killbox or to gather supplies and leave to survive another day.

Halfway across the city, Eridol is running as fast as he can towards the magic shop and where the fight should be taking place, hoping the panic he felt from Vieraen’s message mingling with his abject fear that has been there since Drackuss cut him down are hidden well enough by his pure need to protect his friends. Between being so exhausted and being nearly out of spells he almost misses Whisky as she clambers over a nearby roof. He does the only thing he can think off and pushes divine light into his shield to use as a beacon. The two meet up shortly before the remainder of the not evil friends turn up. All looking worse for wear, no one knows what’s going on. Eridol realizes that Drackuss would need to head back to the barracks to pick up supplies and that they would either be walking into a trap or an empty building. Without a second thought, Eridol asks that everyone stay safe, turns to Core and says “We will take care of this … I … I can take care of this” not trying to hide the panic and fear as he starts running towards the barracks, Core curses under his breath and turns to Whisky, Vieraen and Tornur and says he would understand if they don’t want to come before getting in touch with some guardsmen and running after Eridol. Of course nobody listens to either of them as Vieraen, Whisky and Tornur book it after their tiny guardian towards a very possible death.

#Tactyl Ymon #DnD Recap #Eridol #Whisky #Tornur #Veiraen #Drackuss #Emmi #dnd

1 note · View note

bronzeflower · 6 years ago

Text

Who The Fuck Writes A Ten-Page Rant?????

Chapter 21: The Rappest Conversation

Also on ao3

It was your self-imposed day off, so you started the day by sleeping until afternoon. After making yourself breakfast and eating it, you played Slime Rancher for about two hours because it was a nice relaxing game that Roxy bought you for Gristmas last year.

Everything was peaceful. Nothing could possibly ruin this.

Oh look. John was pestering you. You hadn't talked to him in while, even though he was your best bro. You guessed both of you have been pretty busy lately.

-- ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] --

EB: hey, dave! EB: we haven’t spoken in ages!

TG: yeah man its been entirely too long TG: ive turned to dust while you were gone TG: ive become one with the desert and sand TG: im the sand on the beach that gets stuck inside an oyster TG: and the oyster is like what the hell are you doing here you dumbass motherfucking sand TG: im here to ruin your life oyster TG: thats basically my job TG: why are you doing this you tiny bit of sand TG: i already answered that question TG: okay fine be that way says the oyster TG: ill just turn you into a pearl so that youre no longer stabbing me everywhere TG: and then i was transformed into a dope ass pearl TG: the prettiest goddamn pearl in all the land TG: im turned into one of a pair of earrings that are sold for more that your life is worth TG: im bought by a rich woman looking for jewelry to show off TG: its passed down through the generations until the wealth they had dwindles and runs out TG: so now the earrings are sold for a dollar just to get the money for food that night TG: its a tragic tale TG: anyway TG: how are you doing

EB: dave, did you copy and paste an entire act of a play into this chat?

TG: what no TG: it is all natural and organic typing from scratch going on here TG: absolutely no foul play involved and to even imply such is an insult to my craft

EB: alright, fine! EB: i will not insult your “masterpiece” anymore. EB: if you can even call it that.

TG: oh wow sick burn TG: but like seriously speaking how is your stuff going TG: like the comedy stuff TG: have you yet to release an hour long special containing your hilarious jokes TG: and like half of the time is taken up by people laughing at them so its not even a true hour long special its more like a half hour long special and you didnt even manage to make it through all the material you had prepared TG: you know like you did in school where you accidentally prepared too much for a presentation and then get cut off because your time is up TG: and you still have like an hour and half left of material that youve collected that ended up just being a pile of wasted effort

EB: maybe not to that extreme. EB: :P EB: i haven't gotten my show up on netflix yet, but i am certainly planning on it! EB: watch out for it!

TG: do you still have that one person booing you at a bunch of your shows

EB: yeah, it is getting pretty annoying at this point, but i don't really want to do something like call security to remove someone for booing at my show. EB: that just seems as little bit over kill.

TG: i thought you were going to do a comedy sketch about them

EB: oh yeah! EB: i forgot about that.

TG: who are you jade harley

EB: what! EB: jade is great at remembering things!

TG: shes really not she just has a really fucking good system for making certain she remembers things TG: she has to build a physical barrier to her door so that she doesnt forget her keys TG: and she has so many keys to her house they are literally everywhere

EB: huh. EB: i guess i havent really visited jade in a while, have i?

TG: i would highly recommend going to her place at some point TG: and just hanging out with her in general TG: although youd probably have to plan a whole trip for it TG: just like TG: drop by or whatever next time youre where shes currently living

EB: messaging her might be a little bit more practical.

TG: yeah probably TG: anyway you really should get on writing that sketch about the lady I booing you

EB: yeah probably.

TG: yeah man how else are you going to get back at her TG: also when you finally do perform it please tell me what happened TG: or send me a recording of it TG: jk ill buy the recording TG: i always buy the recordings of your shows TG: but youll have to tell me which recording its in so that i can prepare myself

EB: maybe i won’t tell you which recording it’s in just so you're surprised by it. EB: like a schrodinger’s recording.

TG: does that mean you might be dead in one of them

EB: i hate to tell you this now dave, but i’m actually a ghost.

TG: shit ive been friends with a ghost this whole time thats actually pretty fucking dope TG: how do you do comedy sketches as a ghost TG: with the whole intangible thing TG: also with the people not being able to see you thing TG: wait TG: i wouldnt be able to message you if you were completely intangible TG: you must be a poltergeist or something TG: is there anything i can do to help you pass on

EB: yeah, you have to burn my body. EB: that’s what they do in all of the supernatural movies and shows where there’s a ghost.

TG: alright i am fully prepared to do that TG: i however have absolutely no idea where your grave is

EB: i know where your grave is.

TG: well thats not ominous at all TG: i dont even have a grave

EB: as far as you know.

TG: are you telling me that im dead TG: am i also a ghost

EB: i’m sorry i didn’t tell you sooner! EB: but yes we’re both ghosts. EB: i was supposed to wait for you to figure it out yourself, but it’s taking so long, so i guess i got a little impatient. EB: :B

TG: yeah but i still dont remember anything about dying or anything like that

EB: maybe you'll remember someday. EB: i’ve got to go right about now though. EB: i compromised my mission, and now i have to go through remedial training.

TG: ill wish you luck

EB: who needs luck when you have skill?

TG: okay then no good luck from me TG: i take it back TG: youve got this handled due to the sheer amount of awesomeness you have

-- ectoBiologist [EB] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG] --

TG: oh no they got you TG: i know i said i didnt wish you good luck but i actually did TG: you cant give back a good luck TG: you can never give back a good luck TG: the blessing is yours now forever and ever TG: or however long you live i guess TG: thats going to take a butt load of time TG: anyway TG: i should probably get going too TG: instead of just having a conversation by myself after you left TG: and like go and have a conversation with someone else TG: maybe with jade TG: i havent talked to jade in a while TG: wonder how her pumpkins are doing TG: i wonder if shes harvested them yet TG: or if its even time for that TG: i swear i do actually listen when she talks about gardening TG: but i dont remember what half the harvest times for a bunch of the vegetables she grows TG: dont tell her that TG: or do TG: she probably already knows TG: shes always had a tendency to know things that other people would have absolutely no clue of knowing about TG: anyway TG: ill pester you again at some point eventually TG: ill go pester jade instead now TG: see ya

-- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering ectoBiologist [EB] --

-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering gardenGnostic [GG] --

TG: yo jade how are your pumpkins doing TG: is it about time to harvest them or anything TG: or has that already happened TG: when do people harvest pumpkins again

GG: ive harvested them!

TG: awesome were they tasty

GG: of course they were!!! GG: i made pumpkin pie and roasted pumpkin seeds GG: and then i sold all the leftover pumpkins

TG: yeah what kind of profit did that turn

GG: quite a bit, actually! GG: especially with the fact that pumpkins are basically weeds GG: because they grow back no matter what you do GG: no GG: matter GG: what GG: but people fucking love pumpkins during the fall seasons

TG: yeah everyone goes batshit for that kind of stuff TG: got that pumpkin spice everywhere TG: and colorful trees and sweater weather TG: unless you live in the south TG: then there are just two seasons TG: summer and cooler summer

GG: those were basically the seasons on the island i grew up on too GG: im so glad i get to see snow where i live now!!! GG: i always wanted to play in it growing up!!!

TG: tbh we should coordinate and try to play in the snow together at some point

GG: yes!!! GG: but, no GG: :( GG: itd be way too difficult to coordinate that kind of thing

TG: yeah probably TG: but maybe one day if we happened to be in the same area and it happened to snow TG: we could get together and play in the snow and build snowpeople and snow angles

GG: dont you mean snow angels?

TG: i meant what i said TG: were gonna be drawing angles in the snow TG: forty five degrees sixty degrees one hundred and eighty degrees TG: well have all the angles right there written in the snow because no one can tell us what to do

GG: i still think id rather make snow angels though

TG: fair enough TG: you stick with your boring old snow angels TG: and ill have a fantastic time making all my fucking snow angles

GG: :/ GG: you do that, i guess GG: i still think making snow angels will be more fun!

TG: suit yourself TG: anyway im being messaged by someone else so ive gotta bounce

GG: alrighty, see ya!

-- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering gardenGnostic [GG] --

-- gallowsCalibrator [GC] began trolling turntechGodhead [TG] --

GC: D4V3

TG: terezi

GC: H4V3 YOU S33N TH1S?? GC: F1L3.COM

TG: well it would seem that im being framed for murder and no one told me

GC: NO GC: 1N C4S3 TH4T H4PP3N3D 1 WOULD S3RV3 4S YOUR PROS3CUT3R

TG: wouldnt you be unable to participate in the trial because you have a bias because were friends

GC: Y3S BUT TH4T 1S B3S1D3 TH3 PO1NT GC: W41T GC: 1S 1T B3S1D3 THE PO1NT OR B3S1D3S TH3 PO1NT??

TG: no idea TG: does it matter

GC: 1 GU3SS NOT GC: JUST LOOK 4T TH3 GODD4MN M3M3

TG: nice

GC: H3H3H3H3H3H3

-- gallowsCalibrator [GC] ceased trolling turntechGodhead [TG] --

-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling turntechGodhead [TG] --

CG: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

TG: so what stuck itself up your ass

CG: DID TEREZI SEND YOU THAT MEME?

TG: what meme i have no idea what meme your talking about

TG: i dont even know what a meme is TG: you could hear me say that but i pronounced meme as me me TG: because thats how little i know about memes TG: ive never even seen one in my life TG: you dont have any proof that tz showed me the meme that you are talking about like less than five minutes ago about the ten page rant that you sent to complain about my channel

CG: THAT’S REALLY SPECIFIC, AND IT MAKES ME SUSPICIOUS AND PRIVY TO THE IDEA THAT YOU ACTUALLY DO KNOW WHAT A MEME IS.

TG: please spare me i have a family

CG: I WASN’T AWARE THAT YOU HAD KIDS.

TG: youre right i dont have kids TG: not in reality TG: imaginary kids TG: all running around and being great and fantastic and not fucked up at all TG: thats the fucking dream

CG: DAVE, WE’RE NOT HERE TO DISCUSS YOUR INSECURITIES DEALING WITH THE POSSIBILITY OF HAVING KIDS OR WORKING WITH KIDS. CG: WE’RE HERE TO TALK ABOUT THE MEME TEREZI SENT YOU.

TG: why do you even care so much about a meme TG: its a meme and its harmless fun TG: even if it does include a picture of you topless

CG: EXACTLY. CG: I’M GOING TO NEED YOU TO DELETE ANY EVIDENCE OF THAT PICTURE, NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU WANT TO KEEP IT.

TG: why would i want to keep it TG: maybe i already deleted it TG: maybe i didnt even save it TG: also why do you want me to delete so bad TG: its not much in the way of blackmail TG: who could possibly use it against you

CG: PEOPLE.

TG: thats specific

CG: I’M NOT REALLY IN THE MOOD FOR GOING INTO TOO MUCH DETAIL ABOUT THIS, SO COULD YOU PLEASE JUST TAKE MY WORD FOR IT AND DELETE THAT PHOTO?

TG: k

CG: REALLY? CG: JUST LIKE THAT?

TG: sure if it really matters to you that much ill make sure to get rid of it TG: you can tell me why at another time TG: i get if its too personal to talk about or whatever TG: sometimes that kind of thing happens TG: there we go TG: deleted photo

CG: THANKS

-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased trolling turntechGodhead [TG] --

-- arsenicCatnip [AC] began trolling turntechGodhead [TG] --

AC: :33< *ac prowls up to the unsuspecting crow* AC: :33< *she asks meow the crow is doing!*

TG: *the crow says hes doing well and asks the same of the cat*

AC: :33< im fine! AC: :33< im meowstly just double checking the date and time we agr33d on for tea

TG: yeah im still on that day TG: just cant believe it in like a month and a half TG: seems like an almost unnecessary time to plan in advance

AC: :33< but it is a really meowfurlous tea place! AC: :33< its just a little exclawsive, so youve got to make reservations a bit in advance

TG: yeah i get that but the main question here is the dress code TG: can i show up in my jeans and hoodie or do ive got to pull out the singular suit i have TG: its bright red so i cant exactly wear it to black tie events

AC: :33< it s33ms more like mew should wear brunch attire

TG: khakis and a polo shirt got it

AC: ://< i guess thats brunch attire AC: :33< i would wear something a little nicer though

TG: so more like colorful khakis with a button down shirt that can hold cufflinks

AC: :33< yeah thats s33ms more appropriate AC: :33< mew could always ask kanya~a for advice on what to wear

TG: yeah im probably going to do that TG: also that cat pun in her name that you did was the best think ive heard all day ten out of ten would use again

AC: :33< thank mew! AC: :33< i like to give all meow furends cat pun names! AC: :33< its kind of hard to come up with them for some people though

TG: yeah im not sure how you can make a cat pun from dave TG: its pretty much impossible but if you do manage to do it i will be supremely impressed

AC: :33< meowbe a rhyming thing? AC: :33< like cavedave or something? AC: :33< but that makes you sound like some sort of caveman AC: :((< and thats not really cute

TG: maybe adding a hobby of mine of some sort to my name TG: like rapping TG: like rapnap dave or something TG: cause it sounds kind of like catnap

AC: :33< that certainly is a lot cuter! AC: :33< ill consider it! AC: :33< but ive got to go meow so we can talk later

TG: cool

-- arsenicCatnip [AC] ceased trolling turntechGodhead [TG] --

Since you were clearly talking to all your friends today, you might as well see if Aradia’s online as well. You’re pretty sure she was, and since you probably won’t get to contact her for a while, you might as well message her now.

-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering apocalypseArisen [AA] --

TG: have you finally figured out how im going to die TG: or divined that kind of shit yet TG: saw it in the clouds or something TG: my hot as hell dead body floating in the water staining the fluid and polluting the river and making it muddy with red TG: taking a stabbing and falling and dying before i could ask if it was something i said TG: choking to death, clubbing to death TG: hit through the chest with some white magic TG: bleeding and crying as they take their last breath TG: its all just so horrible and tragic TG: having every single one of these dreams TG: but i think i know that theyre memories TG: had these nightmares since i was a kid TG: always wondered if it was something i did TG: cause they made me scared of clowns swords and puppets TG: made me too scared to watch even the muppets TG: but they’re not just mine cause it’s not always my body TG: lying on the ground looking super fucking shoddy TG: and all i can feel is the oppression and fear TG: of letting go of all we hold dear TG: stabbed with a sword we did abhor TG: all the death and the violence and blood TG: overwhelmed us like a flood TG: but try as we might we had no chance TG: we were always meant to lose this dance TG: alright im done that was a dope ass fucking rap thanks folks for listening to how awesome that was

AA: you will die on the twentieth day of april in the year of 2069 from drug overdose

TG: nice

AA: also your rap was both cool and concerning

TG: yeah im not sure if i actually thought at all about what i just said in that rap TG: so basically i forgot everything that i just wrote

AA: thats the beauty of a messaging platform AA: you can just scroll up and reread what you wrote

TG: im sorry im suddenly unable to read

AA: wow AA: youre really going to do this

TG: yes and i have no regrets TG: hi im jared im nineteen and i never fucking learned how to read

AA: your name is dave

TG: shit TG: caught in the lie TG: what time will i have to spend in jail officer

AA: well since im not a cop AA: none! AA: but im still curious about whatever the hell was going on with that rap

TG: maybe you should respond with the stuff thats bothering you in rap form TG: do a little rap battle TG: but like TG: with feelings and shit TG: you can talk about whats bothering you and then i can elaborate on the fuckery in my rap

AA: alright i dont see why not AA: it will probably help us both AA: my heart and my brains been pulled taught AA: stuck between work and the one that i love AA: cant help my job fits me like a glove AA: but i cant stop thinking about my matesprit AA: how hes gonna face it AA: cause he says he supports me AA: and he says that he agrees AA: with putting my job first and foremost AA: while he sits in one place and holds post AA: i didnt mind too much before AA: we had all i could adore AA: but since he proposed were going to be married AA: i just dont know if that life should be carried

TG: well that sounds like something you should talk about TG: because not doing so might leave you in a drought TG: in your relationship where miscommunications TG: might lead to decimation TG: or more likely just breaking up TG: but you dont want that to burn up TG: so just have a talk with him about your concern TG: and then your love will continue to burn

AA: did you just rhyme up with up

TG: dont judge me im trying to help

AA: your advice was good but i can still judge you for your lack of slam poetry skills

TG: hey ill have you know im the best in the business

AA: must be a very small business

TG: wow TG: i cant believe my own moirail would do this to me

AA: you know i had to do it to em

TG: i hate you and everything that you stand for

AA: likewise AA: aside from that AA: do you want to talk about those dreams you mentioned at the start of this conversation

TG: i will only answer that if you ask me in a rap

AA: what the fuck was up with those dreams AA: you seem to be tearing at the seems AA: with all the death and the dying AA: and it might seems like im lying AA: but ive had those too AA: hit in the face and bid me adieu AA: except im a ghost and dead AA: dont know how but i bled AA: then im a frog for some reason AA: it has something to do with treason AA: then a robot that i hated AA: someones kinks that were stated AA: then i blow up again and again AA: wake up in pajamas the color of cayenne AA: and thats when i know that im alive AA: and i know for a fact that i will thrive

TG: always thought that i was alone in this TG: but i guess im not so now ill remiss TG: on all these nightmares ive had TG: that were all really bad TG: i always thought it was because of my childhood TG: never thought that i would be old enough to get to my knighthood TG: thought i was going to die alone TG: thought they wouldnt even find a bone TG: thought no would care if i was gone TG: always felt like i didnt belong TG: i thought the dreams were a message, an order TG: to finally get rid of the disorder TG: that was me theyd promised id be free TG: but i still desperately wanted to be TG: alive and awake and active and happy TG: excuse me if this starts to get a bit sappy TG: but i wanted love TG: i wanted to be above TG: my bro who so obviously hated me TG: and everyone i know would agree TG: so no matter how much i wanted to die TG: there was always something just keeping me alive TG: a wish or a kiss or a day that gets better TG: a time when i get to open a letter TG: theres something to live for something to survive for TG: going and traveling and taking a tour TG: listening to music when i feel depressed TG: going outside when i feel repressed TG: reminding myself its gonna be alright TG: in order to tell myself not to go towards the light

AA: feeling alive is good

TG: yeah TG: it is TG: thanks for listening

AA: thank you for listening! AA: thats what being moirails is all about AA: listening to each other and doing our best to comfort each other AA: although i guess thats what friendship is about too AA: moirail is more of a formal title

TG: i get that TG: someones messaging me now though so i guess this is where we can end our convo

AA: dont be a stranger!

TG: not planning to be one TG: <>

`AA: <>

-- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering apocalypseArisen [AA] --

-- tentacleTherapist [TT] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] --

TT: Hello.

TG: yes just come up and start a chat using the most generic fucking greeting in the entire goddamn world TG: thats exactly how you start a conversation with someone youve known for years TG: start conversations by calling your friends a bitch like the rest of us

TT: I’m pretty sure I would like to have a little more class than that.

TG: ill bring you down to my level one day

TT: I will do my best to resist going down that low.

TG: listen TG: im pretty sure you dont have to go that far

TT: Wow. TT: Rude.

TG: thats a more appropriate way to talk to your brother

TT: I’ll be certain to use more crass language when greeting you next time I make the decision to start a conversation with you.

TG: anyway what did you want to talk to me about

TT: I would like to invite you to my party celebrating the release of my new book. TT: It takes place in a month at my house.

TG: you mean your big ass mansion

TT: Yes, I suppose that is an apt description of the location where I reside. TT: I suggest you dress formally for the occasion. TT: You can wear the suit that you had recently tailored for you.

TG: oh yeah the one kanaya made that feels like the softest goddamn plush toy in the childrens aisle

TT: Yes, please wear that one.

TG: alrighty sounds good to me

TT: Not going to argue about wearing jeans and a T-shirt instead?

TG: nah TG: not this time at least TG: im kind of excited to wear the one kanaya made anyway TG: especially since its the first suit that i actually kind of like

TT: Well, I look forward to seeing you at my party in a suit. TT: For now, I must go and give a few others personal invitations.

TG: k you do that

-- tentacleTherapist [TT] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG] --

You proceeded to play videos games for the rest of the day because it was, in fact, your day off. You had to spend some of it by yourself after all.

#homestuck #hs #dave strider #rose lalonde #jade harley #john egbert #aradia megido #pale aradave #aradave

2 notes · View notes

freyjaiam · 8 years ago

Text

Let Me In (Part 2)

pairing: rogan read part one: here

She’d shown up to the diner an hour early. Mostly to try and practice what she was going to say. She had a cup of decaf (yuck) and a doughnut (yum) and pulled her out laptop to open up her list. She sighed while her eyes traveled over the facts from both sides. The pros being that a part of her still deeply loved Logan, he’d provide financial stability, and her child would have both parents around if she restarted their relationship. The cons? His parents, the fact that he sorta reminded him of her Dad no matter how he said he wasn’t, and that he’d probably want her to move away from the town she’d grown up in. She loved Stars Hollow. She wanted her child to grow up here like she had... But Logan wasn’t a small town kinda guy. Sighing she took a sip of her coffee before checking her watch. He’d be there any minute and she’d devoured her doughnut already and wanted to order more food. She looked up when the bell rang and she smiled as he came in and immediately headed toward her table.

“Hello, Ace,” he said, coming to her side, pressing a kiss to her cheek.

“Logan,” she said, closing her laptop so he didn’t see her list. She didn’t want him to see it then be forced to try and explain her cons. At least not yet. “I’m glad you came.”

“Well, you asked me to, so here I am,” he said, nodding to her cup. “Can you have that?”

“Decaf,” she said, making a face. “It’s awful.”

He laughed. “I bet.”

He settled in the chair across from her and she smiled. Already she could see some people start to whisper. Okay, so maybe not living in a small town wouldn’t be so bad! In large cities, like Hartford, most people mined their own damn business. Well... She really couldn’t say that. The socialites of Hartford would have the time of their lives hearing the news of a Gilmore getting knocked up by a Huntzberger.

“How are you doing?” he asked.

“I’m fine. You?”

“Fine,” he said, smiling brightly at her. Man she loved his smile. It brightened up his whole face and whenever he smiled at her she just got lost. He made her feel like a teenager all over again with her first crush!

“How are you feeling?” he asked, eyes drifting to her stomach.

“Mostly hungry.”

“Well then we should get you some.”

“Already on it. Hey Luke!”

“What?” snapped Luke, bagging what looked to be a very large to-go order.

“We need sustenance!” demanded Rory. “Preferably in the form of waffles! And cheeseburgers!”

“Ah, geez,” muttered Luke, pointing at Rory. “You need to be healthy!”

“Add a side of fruit to that order,” said Logan, making Rory gasp.

“Traitor!”

“Concerned father,” he countered softly, making her sigh then relent.

“Okay. Fine. Fruit. And whipped cream!”

“So. I have a feeling you didn’t just invite me here for waffles and fruit with copious amounts of whipped cream,” said Logan, slowly walking with Rory.

“You’re right. I didn’t. I wanted to talk about...” Rory sighed, sticking her hands in her pockets of her jacket, thankful that Logan insisted on holding her bad during their walk back to her childhood home. “Us. The baby. And the future.”

“Whatever you want, Ace. You know this.”

“But what do you want?” asked Rory.

“Whatever scenario has us together,” said Logan honestly, making Rory stop in her tracks to look up at him. All she saw was sincerity on his face and suddenly it was too much and she burst out in tears. “Oh God. What did I say?”

“I-I don’t know...” She blubbered, bringing both hands up to her eyes to wipe her tears away. “I just... You’re sweet, damn it. You’re too sweet!”

“Should I not be?” he asked. “I’m sorry, Rory, I’m at a loss over what I should be doing now.”

“I bet if I asked you to you’d move here. God. You’d be miserable. You’d hate it here, but you’d do it if I asked. Wouldn’t you?” Her sadness transferred to anger and she pushed at him a little, making his eyes widen. “Why do you have to be so damn sweet, Logan Huntzberger?!”

“I don’t know. I’m sorry,” he said, quickly, in a tone of voice one would use to try and soothe a growling dog. “Please don’t hit me again.”

“No. I’m sorry. I just...” Rory sighed. “This is so overwhelming.”

“How about we just get you home. Hm?”

“That’s just it, Logan. I am home. Stars Hollow is my home. I want to live here. I want to have my family here. I want my child to be exposed to Taylor’s crazy town meetings, Luke’s coffee-”

“When they’re older,” insisted Logan.

“Yeah. Sure. And Kirk’s crazy plans and my mom’s inn... I want all of that. I want the small town life for them and I don’t want to ask you to give up everything to-”

“Stars Hollow is your home, but Rory. You’re my home. I always find my way back here. In this spot. Standing with you. I love you, Ace, and even though I’m used to the large cities and bustling crowds... I want to do this. I want us.”

“But what will you do here?”

“I’ll figure it out. I always do. There are other places to work for other than my father’s business.If I have to drive to Hartford every morning then drive back here to come home to you I will.”

“Logan...”

“I know it’s a lot to think about. So I’ll just-”

“No.”

“-what?” he asked, face falling, and Rory stepped forward.

“I don’t want to think. I just want to DO. Logan, I love you.” Rory shook her head. “We’ve been running around in circles all these years and I want to stop. I want to just... Stop running. You know?”

“So what are you saying?” he asked, wanting to make sure he was reading her right before getting his hopes up.

“I’m saying I love you, you big dope, and want to spend the rest of my life with you!”

“Well when you put it that way, how could I resist?” he asked, eyebrow quirking before Rory laughed then launched herself forward to press her lips to his.

“Oh my God,” said Miss Patty, who’d been watching them the whole time from her studio.

“It’s so romantic,” said Babette. “Like one of those Hallmark movie specials.”

“I think I might cry,” said Miss Patty.

“Oh, Hun, don’t. B-Because if you start... Th-Then I start!”

“So you and Logan are really doing this, huh.”

“We are,” said Rory.

“I’m happy for you. For both of you.”

“Are you really?” asked Rory.

“Really. I’m happy he’s staying. I’m happy he wants to be here with you.” Lorelai grinned. “I’m even happier he’s currently looking at the house down the block for the two of you. We could be in walking distance of each other for the rest of our lives. Oh! It could be like Everybody Loves Raymond. I’ll come over and baby you and cook for you-”

“You don’t cook.”

“Bring take out for you,” corrected Lorelai. “And say things like. ‘Oi. The curtains. There be dust on them!’”

“Oh geez,” muttered Rory.

“Not to mention. We can now all carpool when we go visit my mother.”

“Oh man, I don’t want to tell her yet,” said Rory. “Because she’ll be planning a wedding before Logan even asks me. If he asks me.”

“Oh, he’ll ask you. Then we get to have a wedding with the Huntzbergers. We can only hope to make it through the service without killing each other. We’ll put the Red Wedding to shame. To shame I tell you!”

“You need to stop watching so much TV.”

Lorelai gasped. “You take that back! You love TV!”

“You’re right. I do. I’m sorry, TV!” called out Rory from the kitchen.

“That’s my girl. Now... Ice cream?”

“Yes please!”

“I love it,” said Rory, standing on the sidewalk with Logan. It was night time and quiet. Most houses were dark. Rory hadn’t been able to sleep, the kicking baby being too much. It’s been a few weeks and finally the day of the move was upon them. They stood before the house that would be theirs tomorrow, holding hands, taking in the yellow two-story with the large tree on the front yard with a tire swing that was swinging slowly in the breeze. The porch was covered and the shutters were a dark brown. Rory was already imagining her life here and her hand tightened in his. “It’s perfect. This moment is perfect.”

“You’re perfect.”

“You’re a sap,” she said, smiling though, and looking up at him through her lashes. “I love you. You know that, right?”

“I do. And I love you.”

“Can we go inside?” asked Rory.

“Tomorrow. When we get the keys handed over to us.”

“Oh,” said Rory, pouting.

“But I bet we could sit up on the porch.”

“Like an old married couple,” said Rory, laughing as she lead him up the walkway toward the porch. There were no chairs so they settled down on the cold steps. She huddled close to him, looking up at the sky, the stars twinkling down at them. “Here’s to many more nights out on the porch.”

“Hm...” He kissed the top of her head. “I like the sound of that.”

“Me, too.”

END

#rogan #rory gilmore #logan huntzberger #gilmore girls #ayitl spoilers #rogan ff #gg ff

15 notes · View notes

smokeybrandreviews · 7 years ago

Text

Smokey brand Movie Reviews: Marvel’s Revengers

This review is a few weeks in the making. I actually saw Thor: Ragnarok the day it came out but i wanted to wait to review it. I was curious how i would feel about it after seeing Justice League. The fact that the architect of Marvel’s Phase One was brought in to “fix” what Snyder had produced was kind of ill so i wanted to see if i could discern that Marvel flavor in DC’s flick better after taking in Thor and having time to ponder those aspects altogether. I opted to take in Ragnarok a second time today because i figured out that i liked it more than i liked Justice League. Even with all of the good in that flick; Flash, Wondy, the levity, Aquaman, Cyborg sort of, i just found myself watching a third tier Marvel outing. Like, i left thee theater feeling like i watched Avenger 3 and it was worse than Age Of Ultron. Ultron wasn’t great but it was decent ,JL wasn’t decent. After watching Ragnarok a second time, my initial reaction was justified For both films. Thor: Ragnarok is a great movie and Justice League is a pale imitation of what makes Ragnarok great. I might write a piece later comparing the two, elaborating on my i think JL to be such a hollow abstraction of Ragnarok, and the Marvel formula overall, but this little essay is going to be a straight review of Ragnarok. Spoilers: Is Gud. Go see that sh*t. Again. But first, can we just appreciate the utter bad ass beauty of Tessa Thompson?

Ol’ girl was goddamn outstanding in a movie full of outstanding and she did while being bad-ass, beautiful, and brilliant. Hats off, madame, hats off. Swag on fleek, as the kids say.

The Best

Tessa Thompson killed as Brunnhilde. And, yes, she has a name, not a number. She’s Brunnhilde the Valkyrie or just Valkyrie. and Tess OWNED that sh*t, manq!

Speaking of ownage, can we just stop and appreciate Hela? Cate Blanchett embodied this roll and i loved every minute of it. I’ve always loved Hela. I thought she never got her due in the comics, with the exceptions of some solid f*cking stories (check out little loki and Leah’s adventure or Ultimate Hela, off the top of my head) so to see such a prestigious actor take on such an iconic character with respect, understand, and general awesomeness was spectacular. She’s my second favorite MCU villain after Keaton’s Vulture and i mean the closet of seconds.

Speaking of my beautiful and deadly Hela, i like the liberties they took with her history here. Don’t misunderstand, 616 Hela will always have a special place in my heart by her cinema appearance, an amalgamation of Gor the God Butcher, Angela Odinsdottir, (yes, that’s Angela’s guv’ment name now) and Hela Lokisdottir, (lookit me using comic logic to discern Hela’s last name) i was pretty okay with how she turned out overall. I mean, come on, looking over that last clusterf*ck of words, you’d think the character, herself, would be a mess but she’s not. She’s just plain dope. Dope and hot. and deadly. Deadly, dope, and hot.

How can Jeff Goldblum not be at the top of this list with the other two standouts in this flick? Yo, anytime you add Ian Malcolm to anything, it’s immediately +5 for snark and +20 for tight. Jeff, with all his Goldblumisms, just makes everything better. He’s like cinema MSG!

I loved the diversity in this flick. Beautiful, black, female, lead that happens to not only best the “Lord of Thunder and God of Mischief but the hulk, too? Check. Female antagonist that is arguably the best antagonist Marvel has ever produced? Check. Bad ass warrior monk who can see anywhere into the universe and happens to be black, too? Check. Respect and reverence for the multi-cultures represented by the majority of the cast while not feeling like pandering or false SJW placation? Check. Visionary, Academy award nominated, director who happens to be half Maori out here throwing his big cinematic dick about all over Disney’s Marvelscape? Check. Marvel is getting this sh*t right in their films and while i think Homecoming did diversity better, Thor is a damn fine continuance in that direction.

This movie was beautiful. It was like walking into a Jack Kirby comic from the 70s. I half expected a f*cking Eternal or Celestial to jump out of the screen at me. I thought Doctor strange had a heavy visual aesthetic but Ragnarok definitely pressed it for that title.

The Better

Taika Waititi is getting much better at his craft. I can’t say this is a perfect movie but it’s a damn good one. There are still some pacing issues and some rather interest plot points from the previous outings **cough**JaneFosterandLadySif**cough** that were just glossed over but i think they tightened the narrative overall. a better example would be the sudden injection, and that’s what it felt like actually, of Hela. That was more than sudden and jarring. That sloppy execution set me off a little, i guess, and that’s on the direction.

But dat Soundtrack, tho!

Mark Ruffalo turns in another spectacular, scene stealing, performance as Bruce Banner. Cat is kind perfect for this role and it boggles my mind that it took three tries to get that right. Marvel is usually really good at casting.Go figure.

Chris Hemsworth and Tom Hiddleston turn in their best performances as the Odinson boys and i’m glad to see a little closure with their arc. Seeing Thor actually mature and Loki come full circle was awesome. As a older brother, i identified with their overall growth closely. It was adorable and brotherly. Also, did anyone else notice how hot Hiddles was in that suit. I’m not gay but goddamn, you gotta give the brotha his credit where it’s due. He wore the f*ck out of that ensemble!

It was dope to see Heimdall get some finally. Cat out here using the Bifrost key to just mow down nameless asshole zombie Asgardians while saving basically the entire world, single-handedly. I saw a meme that referred to him as black Jesus and i can’t imagine a better way to sum his character up. Apparently, Idris Elba does have a dope pair of sandals so, you know, that’s a thing.

The visuals on Sakarr were inspired. i adored the textures and lived in feel of that world. It felt like something Jeff Goldblum would lord over. Muspelheim was just as majestic as Niflheim from the original Thor.

But dat Thorforce, tho. I know it was lightning or thunder or whatever but that sh*t was the goddamn Thorforce, son. Please see Rune Thor or King Thor and get at me, bro.

The Good

The supporting cast was legit. I thought Korg and Miek were just the right amount of hilarious with the right amount of exposure. I wanted more but i wasn’t hurting that i didn’t get more, you know? I think a one-shot would be fun for those two.

The Visual effects were on point. Nothing looked unfinished and this was the first time we really gt a great look at The Hulk. That whole gladiator scene was epic as sh*t! i wish it were longer but, you know, WWH can swing back around and address that. I mean, i’d love to see how Doug bit the dust, particularly considering New Doug basically destabilized and overthrew the entire social system. Also, Fenrir was cool as sh*t.

The Hulk was dope. Like, as a character, dope. Seeing him come into his own over his two year imprisonment of Banner was awesome. I said this before and i’ll say it again, i needs that WWH movie now. How can you gloss over that two year period? The f*ck was he doing in that time? How dope was he while he was winning?? i need to know, Marvel! I NEED TO KNOW!!

Sir Anthony Hopkins and future Sir Benedict Cumberbatch showed up and did what they do. They were short cameos but their respective skill in their craft carried their respective screen presences effortlessly. I will miss Odin though. He was pretty legit anytime he was onscreen. And the chemistry he had with Hemsworth has gotten considerably better. Is a far cry from literally all of the complaints he had for kid when they made the first Thor flick, all those years ago. Growth is good, manq.

But dat Fenrir, tho.

The Eh

Where the f*ck was Sif? i loved Sif. Why she gone, bro? She obviously wasn’t killed by Hela cuz she was nowhere near Asgard so i assume she’s on Midgar or whatever so why no Sif? Not even a mention, you know? I’d say this was “Bad” but it was more a discomfort than a slight.

Hela’s return from and general machinations of her banishment/imprisonment was kind of swampy. It was never clear how Odin put her away or how she knew where he was when he died. I imagine Magic or f*cking Magnets or some sh*t but still. Shenanigans.

Hela sacked the Warriors Three like they were lunches. I thought that was ridiculous but whatever. They needed a way to portray Hela’s dopenesss but you’re telling me Thor or Heimdall didn’t mourn their bros? that sh*t was whack, son!

Karl Urban was okay as Scourge. Like, his introduction was dope. That little bit when Thor returned from Muspelheim was chill as sh*t but after that? Meh. Kid was kind of an irredeemable weenie and a total plot throw away. Hela didn’t need him for sh*t. Still, it’s good to see Bones branching out. Maybe this will get him enough clout to get Dredd Two made. I want my Judge Death goddamit!

The Verdict

I adored Ragnarok. I think it’s easily one of the better Marvel films out there. It’s effortlessly the second best of the Marvel films released this year (I give Homecoming that distinction because i’m a giant Spider-Man fanboy and Logan is technically a Fox property or that thing would DEFINITELY get the “Best of the year” nod) and has left the MCU in a very intriguing place. As a direct lead in to Infinity War, i am satisfied. Satisfied and, as the kids say, crazy thirsty for what’s next. Taika Waititi has elevated this franchise from the worst of the MCU into talks as part of the best with one movie and that’s a goddamn feat. While i feel like World War Hulk should have been it’s own film, it’s own movie, i’m less frustrated by it being just a part of Ragnorok’s overall vision. Taika’s execution of that vision was just so deftly executed, none of that felt tacked on. It never weighed down the overall plot or narrative.Besides, there’s a two year gap there. We can always go back and see how Hulk became The Champion with a prequel. or something. Anything to get my girl Tessa back on that MCU screen, ya dig? Ma looked good in them silvers and blues.

Overall, i thought this was a solid film. There are some pacing issues and a few shots were a bit jarring; i thought the sudden appearance of that Norway scene was a bit heavy handed, but Sir Anthony Hopkins kind of saved that situation a little bit. Watching that guy act is a goddamn blessing. At the end of the day, this was an amazing film that entertained, regaled, and endeared. I adore the additions of Tessa Thompson and Jeff Goldblum and hope we see more of them going forward. This was a diverse, brilliant, fun, entertaining, film that deserves all of the accolades it’s received as well as multiple viewings by the audience. It kind of sh*t’s all over Justice League so go see Ragnarok again instead.

0 notes

smokeybrand · 7 years ago

Text

Smokey brand Movie Review: Marvel’s Revengers

Ol’ girl was goddamn outstanding in a movie full of outstanding and she did while being bad-ass, beautiful, and brilliant. Hats off, madame, hats off. Swag on fleek, as the kids say.

The Best

Tessa Thompson killed as Brunnhilde. And, yes, she has a name, not a number. She’s Brunnhilde the Valkyrie or just Valkyrie. and Tess OWNED that sh*t, manq!

The Better

But dat Soundtrack, tho!

But dat Thorforce, tho. I know it was lightning or thunder or whatever but that sh*t was the goddamn Thorforce, son. Please see Rune Thor or King Thor and get at me, bro.

The Good

But dat Fenrir, tho.

The Eh

Hela sacked the Warriors Three like they were lunches. I thought that was ridiculous but whatever. They needed a way to portray Hela’s dopeness but you’re telling me Thor or Heimdall didn’t mourn their bros? that sh*t was whack, son!

Karl Urban as okay as Scourge. Like, his introduction was dope. That little bit when Thor returned from Muspelheim was chill as ch*ts but after that? Meh. Kid was kind of an irredeemable weenie and a total plot throw away. Hela didn’t need him for sh*t. Still, it’s good to see Bones branching out. Maybe this will get him enough clout to get Dredd Two made. I want my Judge Death goddamit!

The Verdict

1 note · View note