#i’m so embarrassed at this point like…. just want me 🙄
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s0ft-karina · 1 year ago
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i always crave attention from people who don’t want me 😭
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verstappen-cult · 11 months ago
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HOW YOU GET THE GIRL | CL16
— 02. THE MEDDLING
PREV. PART | NEXT PART — [ SERIES MASTERLIST ]
summary: in which charles has an embarrassing crush on alex's childhood best friend and everyone meddles. content warnings: faceclaim is taylor hill but you can picture her as you’d like! some cursing and for the sake of the smau imola was not canceled. note: thank you sm for the love you showed the first part! once again if you see some mistakes please know that english is not my first language and i noticed them once everything was finished. if you want to be added to the taglist, just let me know! ♡
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INSTAGRAM STORIES
MAY 14, 2023.
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TWITTER
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INSTAGRAM POST
📍 ROMA, ITALY
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Liked by yourusername, lilymhe and 432,503 others
alex_albon Don’t believe anything they say, I won ⛳️
view all 3,799 comments
lilymhe i’m not gonna say anything. 🤐
user35 so it is true. they were with charles and Y/N user36 We don’t know that user37 someone working there confirmed it
charles_leclerc mate you fell like three times
user38 WE GOT THE CONFIRMATION user39 omg this makes it real user40 BUT WAS Y/N ACTUALLY THERE
user41 not his entire comment section filled with charles and Y/N fans 🙄🙄🙄
user42 PARENTS
yourusername shut up you know i won
user43 OH MY GOD OH MY GODDDD user44 i cant believe it i’m having a crisis over this user45 context pls user46 everyone’s saying they were in a double date and apparently this is the confirmation.
pierregasly thanks for (not) inviting me!!!
📍 ROMA, ITALY
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Liked by charles_leclerc, zendaya and 756,223 others
yourusername i won. i have witnesses.
view all 2,498 comments
alex_albon keep saying that 🥱
yourusername SHUT UP
user47 not a single pic of charles and her together but we know they were together
user48 feeding us crumbs
user49 she looks so pretty
zendaya tom keeps saying we need to play golf when you’re back in london.
yourusername tell him i’m gonna kick his ass
landonorris you should play with people that actually knows how to play: ME
lilymhe SORRY? yourusername dw lils, i have your back
user50 i love how she’s befriending everyone
user51 thanks to alex user52 and your point is? user51 she’s using him for his fame user53 LOOOOOOL
pierregasly thanks for (not) inviting me!!!
user54 what’s more hilarious to me than this whole “double date” discourse are pierre comments on both alex and Y/N posts because they did not invite him.
Y/N & ALEX’S iMESSAGE
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THURSDAY MAY 18, 2023 — PRESS CONFERENCE
charles is sitting next to lando and max, pierre next to him as alex stands in front of them. he’s aware they’re talking about what they’re expecting from this weekend, but he can’t seem to focus on what they are actually saying, only picking up pieces of the conversation. he’s too focused on his phone, the message thread he has with Y/N staring back at him. the last text he has from her is just a simple ‘cool’ after he was trying to play it cool.
“what you doing, charlie?” max asks, playfully poking him in the ribs. he immediately locks his phone, raising his head only to find that everyone is looking at him already.
“i know what he’s doing.” lando wiggles his eyebrows and charles wonders if he really needs his fingers to race. “you screwed up.”
charles knows he screwed up, and definitely doesn’t need lando reminding him the awful mistake he made for just trying not to sound too intense because, of course, he’s made that mistake in the past. and every girl he’s had something with always said the same: ‘you’re too much, charles’, ‘you’re taking things too fast, we should take a break.’ so ever since the last girl he dated, once again, said the same thing, charles promised himself he would not be that guy.
“hey,” alex has this look of pity in his eyes that he doesn’t like, not even one bit. “maybe we could do something to help you.”
“i don’t need your help.” charles’ tone is too sharp and abrupt it’s makes him feel a little bad for talking to his friends like that. but just a little.
“look, you like her, right?” pierre chimes in, but doesn’t wait for an answer. “alex is his best friend, if you want a chance with her, he’s the only one who can help you right now.”
but why does he wanna help him?
alex must see the question written all over his face because he says, “she’s dated a few assholes in the past and i really want something good for her. i trust you, charles.” he tries to look serious which only makes charles laugh. “besides, i have the perfect idea.”
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ALEX’S iMESSAGE — MAY 18, 2023
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INSTAGRAM POST
📍 VENICE, ITALY — MAY 19, 2023
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Liked by scottyjames31, lance_stroll and 976,665 others
yourusername a few days ago i had the pleasure to celebrate two of my favorite people, Chloe and Scotty James. and spent two wonderful days filled with love and joy in the beautiful venice! so happy for you both. 👩🏼‍❤️‍👨🏼🩷
i wish i could stay here forever, but back to reality for now. :(
view all 7,455 comments
user55 i didn’t know she’s friends with the strolls
lance_stroll I have very embarrassing videos of you, just remember that 🍾
user56 why lance and Y/N look kinda good together
user57 That’s exactly what I was thinking. They would look pretty good as a couple user58 he has a girlfriend user59 and Y/N is probably dating charles user57 only rumors
user60 back to reality? she’s not gonna be in the paddock this weekend?
user61 why would she? nobody wants her there
user62 i thought she was in italy for the gp
user63 just a coincidence user62 still hoping she’ll be there
francisca.cgomes I’m gonna need to borrow that beautiful dress! ❤️
user63 she really knows everyone now user64 literally. she was just one time at a race and befriended everyone
user65 i feel like we’re missing something
Y/N’s iMESSAGE
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SATURDAY MAY 20, 2023 — THE MISSION 007 DINNER
the second you see a head of brown hair standing at the door, you want to walk over to where alex is sitting and smash his head on the table. you made sure before arriving to the restaurant that charles was not gonna be there tonight, even lando told you he was busy with some ferrari event. obviously, both lied to you.
“hey, charles!” george, who’s standing next to you, his girlfriend carmen at your other side, waves at him. and for the first time since that fateful dinner a few days ago, you make eye contact with his bright brown eyes.
butterflies break free inside your belly, even when you try to repress everything he makes you feel.
you’ve known charles for no more than ten days but it really feels like you’ve known each other your whole life. everything is so easy with him, you can’t remember when was the last time you felt this way, if it ever happened.
you thought everything was going well between you two and, for a minute, you let yourself believe he could like you. but then he gave you the cold shoulder and everything came crashing down.
and that’s your problem. you always feel so much in so little time that when things don’t go the way you’d like, everything hurts twice as hard.
there’s no one to blame but you.
“hey,” is it possible to like the sound of his voice so much that you feel your knees going weak?
“you’re the last one to arrive. here,” george shares a look with his girlfriend that you don’t really know how to read, and both move aside. “you’re sitting here tonight. we’ll go find our seats.”
you want the earth to swallow you. you want to be in a plane far away from here because the seat george is pointing at it’s right next to yours.
before you can open your mouth to say something, the couple slips away. and suddenly it feels like you and charles are the only ones in the room.
no one says a word for what feels like hours. you’re actually trying to find a excuse to leave when charles sighs, defeated.
“i’m sorry.” his voice is almost a whisper, something only for you to hear. “i acted like an idiot.”
“yeah,” you agree because you don’t know what else to say. he did act like an idiot, ignoring you for days, not answering your texts even when you asked him if something was wrong.
“i can explain if you’d let me.”
his brown eyes bore into yours, so soft and sincere your heart skips a beat. and even if you want to say no, your whole body begs you to accept.
“let’s eat first and enjoy the evening,” his face lights up like a kid on christmas day. “then i’ll let you buy me dessert and we can talk.”
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TWITTER — SUNDAY MAY 21, 2023
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TAGLIST (bold means i couldn’t tag you) — @leclerc16s. @willowpains. @berrnuu. @minkyungseokie. @sassyheroneckgiant. @scott-mccall-could-lift-mjolnir. @nessacarty1. @a1leexxa. @storminacloud. @lovstappen.
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note: i hope you liked it. i’m sorry if i forgot to tag you! please let me know what you think, likes and reblogs are greatly appreciated. <3
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papil0nglegs · 5 months ago
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Pics/gifs that remind me of them
(Fnf x reader)
Warnings: zaza, I hate this word but tsundere, insults but you guys are big girls/boys/things you can handle it
A/n: I’m gonna post shorter hcs for a bit cuz I’m working on this one req that has a lot of stuff, anyways ik this is cringey wattpad shit but who cares. Enjoy <33
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Darnell
This is before you two were dating btw
All he wanted to do was doodle a bit 😔
“Oo whatcha got in there?”
“None of your goddamn business..”
grab
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“Why are you hiding these they’re so c..”
This man was practically glowing mauve
It’s okay, you were blushing too
“…I won’t tell anyone if you let me keep it.”
“I fucking hate you.”
“Really? Cuz this says otherwise”
“IT SAYS NOTHING”
No but actually, you stared at them almost everyday
It got to the point where you memorized them page by page
After you guys started dating, it became an inside joke that he was always embarrassed of
“Draw me like your French girls Darnell..”
“Oh my fucking-just-don’t remind me”
Once you tried drawing him and it def wasn’t up to his level of mastery, but he still loved it
He cut it out and hung it up on his wall next to his bed
Nene
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You guys swap every now and then but she likes it more when you do it
“Y/n do me first plsplspls”
“Okay okay just as long as you take out your knives, I don’t want them to cut me again”
“That was one time 🙄”
“No nene, it was two times.”
Sometimes you’ll choose themes, like ocean or just a general color
You guys would get into funny arguments about the shades
“Nene this not purple that’s pink”
“It’s a mix of both!”
“The theme was purple so just do purple! It shouldn’t be a mix of anything 😒”
No wonder she always loses in dress to impress..
She would sometimes awkwardly zone out just staring at your eyes
(And if you have brown eyes and your eye does that one thing during golden hour, she’s immediately gone)
“…nene?”
“Yea?”
“The makeup.”
“Oh fuck, sorry”
You guys love face masks too
When she gets back from Ulta or Sephora she always brings something back for you
“Y/n guess what I got you!!”
“Lemme guess, another face mask”
“No! Sol de Janeiro scent 40!!”
“ gasp MARRY ME”
“OKAYY ^^”
Pico
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(Big ass picture omg)
Guys, the makeout sessions.
Pico is an okay kisser when sober, but for some reason his tongue just gets ✨✨ when puffing that za
He loves going to his house, playing “doin’ time” by sublime in the background while making out with you on his bed
You guys have been doing it since your teen years
“Mom I need to go to my friends house to study”
“Okay hun just be back before 8:30”
Best studying session of your life
Sometimes you guys don’t even kiss, just 🍃 + cartoons
Or random convos, like really random convos
He’s not a fan tho
“You think the wind is ever trying to tell us something we don’t understand yet?”
“…I want you to stop saying odd shit.”
One time, he grabbed your belt to pull you closer and did his tango with the tongue
The butterflies you felt when he did that.
“Jesus fuck Pico..”
“What? Did you not like it? I’m sorry I just-“
“Do it again or I’ll kill you”
You guys were such horny teens
And it hasn’t settled down ever since
But since consent is sexy, you two never BOOMBAYAH’D while 🍃
“P-Pico I bet can kiss every freckle on that beautiful fffucking face of yours”
“You wanna bet? Giggle I’ll put 20$ on this table right now”
“Hell yeah, bring it on Ed Sheeran head ass”
Eventually your lips got tired
“Pico my lips are so tired now”
“Nuh uh, keep going”
“Hey you can’t tell me what to do, respect women!”
“Idc I’m sexiest now”
“I think it’s sexist”
“No, it’s sextile”
“…okay”
I don’t think he was with us at that moment
Bitch was seeing stars
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marnerparty · 9 months ago
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young stud
Connor Bedard x reader
_connorbedard
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Liked by lululemon, nhl and 199,028 others
_connorbedard📍Nashville
tagged adamfantilli
View all 909 comments
adamfantilli my dude!
yourusername no it’s ok… I wasn’t there either… I don’t wanna be featured…
_connorbedard being around me 24/7 wasn’t enough? 😐
yourusername no.
_masonmctavish23 Jesus just tell him you love him yn
yourusername we are JUST best friends
trevorzegras yeah, and i’m cleaner than jamie
_masonmctavish23 where tf did you come from!?
jamie.drysdale don’t bring me into this
yourusername hey all you ducks get outta here. tilli is comin to Anaheim not C-Dog
adamfantilli we have no idea where either of us are going to end up yn
_connorbedard SEE
user1 sorry the Blackhawks are gonna draft you
colton.dach 👀
yourusername even he knows you’re going #1
_connorbedard yn we still just don’t know
espn congrats on the success & good luck tomorrow finding out who your next team will be!
madi_bedard 🤘🏻
user2 boutta be the biggest bust the NHL has ever seen
yourusername and you’ve done what in your life exactly?
trevorzegras yn responding to haters >>>>>
_connorbedard please do not encourage this
yourusername hi, I’m yn. I think we’ll be great friends
trevorzegras nice to meet you, I’m trevor & likewise. let’s hang out sometime
biznasty 🤠🤠🤠
barzal97 kiddd
yourusername 😍😍😍
_connorbedard don’t say what you want to rn.
_connorbedard please.
_connorbedard I beg you.
trevorzegras yn, you are your own person. if you want to embarrass yourself and tell mat you think he’s hot do it.
barzal97 now I feel like I shouldn’t be here
user3 connor sucks
_masonmctavish23 🦅🦅🦅
_connorbedard those are Eagles
_masonmctavish23 connor wtf. that’s a smart-ass comment that should come from yn not you
_connorbedard he limited the amount of times i can comment on his Instagram posts. this is actually yn. I took connor’s phone
trevorzegras oh my god we will be amazing friends
yourusername
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yourusername I couldn’t be more proud 🫶🏻
View all 222 comments
_connorbedard thank you for your never ending support yn ❤️
nhlblackhawks who’s the new guy?
yourusername some bum. probably shouldn’t make the team tbh
_connorbedard what happened to “couldn’t be more proud”
yourusername 🤫
adamfantilli it’s been a ride 🤘🏻
_connorbedard love you long time brother 🫡
cubs welcome to the Windy City Connor!
kentjohnson.13 YOU DID IT C!
_connorbedard miss you 🫶🏻
trevorzegras yn panicking rn trying to make this comment section abt her
yourusername fuck you trevor
barzal97 she’s aggressive isn’t she?
yourusername 🫢😮
trevorzegras look what you did Mat 🙄
barzal97 ??????
yourusername he’s referring to the fact you put the attention on me
barzal97 didn’t he start it by pointing it out in the first place?
trevorzegras watch it.
yourusername besties, please. this is no place to fight
user1 yn 🤝🏻 hockey boys
Liked by yourusername
lululemon #1 brand —> #1 pick! congrats Connor!
yourusername @lululemon free clothes?👀
_connorbedard wtf?? it’s MY brand deal bud
lhughes_06 your relationship is confusing
user2 honestly fuck connor bedard
yourusername Connor has asked me very nicely to not respond to haters & be rude so I cannot say anything to you that I want to, but just know, I really want to.
trevorzegras I am so proud of your growth
yourusername i love Connor, what can I say
yourusername
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Liked by trevorzegras, madi_bedard, and 70,761 others
yourusername bestie is the big 1️⃣8️⃣ 🫶🏻
tagged _connorbedard
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user1 about goddamn time
jackhughes wtf how is this kid just now an adult
trevorzegras now you guys can do it !
yourusername TREVOR
yourusername NOT FUNNY
adamfantilli I still can’t believe Yn’s a cougar
yourusername I’m a year older 😪 chill.
_masonmctavish23 SO YOU ADMIT YOU’RE A COUGAR
trevorzegras WE GOT HER
colton.dach YN LIKES CONNOR
user2 AHHHHH
lululemon Happy Birthday Connor! 🎉
user3 I love you plz marry me
quentinmusty happy birthday CB !!
_connorbedard 😚😚😚 miss u
trevorzegras super sus 👀
adamfantilli someone check on yn
_connorbedard thank you ynn <3
Liked by yourusername
lhughes_06 love birds
yourusername I’ll kill you Lucas
lhughes_06 come at me yn
trevorzegras Luke what have you done
trevorzegras yn will protect connie wonnie boo-boo bear at all costs
yourusername you’re dead too Zegras
user3 all these adults obsessing over some teens
_masonmctavish we are NOT obsessed
user3 def are
_masonmctavish NO
user3 yes.
jamie.drysdale mason wtf are you doing
barzal97 happy birthday kid!
_connorbedard thank you 🙌🏻
yourusername added to their story!
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yourusername
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Liked by user76, _masonmctavish, and 72,882 others
yourusername besties trip!!
tagged trevorzegras
Comments on this post have been limited
trevorzegras 😚😚😚
jamie.drysdale IS THIS A THING
trevorzegras ????
yourusername 🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️
user1 Matching tattoos & a trip? Too sus
colton.dach I THOUGHT YOU LIKED CONNOR
adamfantilli WHAT HAPPENED
user2 whore
trevorzegras watch your mouth
barzal97 I’m officially out 😔
yourusername NO
yourusername COME BACK
yourusername You’re always #1 😘😘😘
_connorbedard No invite is crazy
yourusername make up for it when I get back?
_connorbedard I guess 🙄
user3 tension?!!!
user4 this girl sucks
_connorbedard Get outta here
madi_bedard GORGE
yourusername ughhh I’m in love with you
user5 *with your brother
_masonmctavish ^^^^
_connorbedard
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_connorbedard can’t take her anywhere
tagged yourusername
Comments on this post have been disabled
yourusername added to their story!
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yourusername
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yourusername go Blackhawks!
View all 297 comments
jackhughes WHAT
trevorzegras why are we acting surprised
luke_hughes06 HE’S A CHILD
yourusername you’re a child
ryanwhitney6 MY EYES
colton.dach you dirty liar
adamfantilli “there’s nothing between us”
nhlblackhawks “we’re just best friends”
trevorzegras Even the team is invested in this 😐
biznasty Connor you dirty dog
yourusername 40 yr old in the comment section 🥱
biznasty Connor she’s mean
yourusername who knew biz was whiny
barzal97 what about us 😔
yourusername Mat he can be gone in 5 seconds
trevorzegras Connor wonnor has a girllll friendddd
_connorbedard Yeah that’s one more than you 🤠
yourusername 🫣
jamie.drysdale Yikes getting roasted by a 12 yr old
trevorzegras JAMIE!? BE ON MY SIDE
jamie.drysdale that was kinda a dig at both of you
trevorzegras I don’t care care it should only be a dig at HIM
yourusername trouble in paradise 😬
_connorbedard
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_connorbedard a full trip around the ☀️
tagged yourusername
Comments on this post have been limited
biznasty Are you 30 yet?
_connorbedard just turned 19 bud
yourusername lover 😚
_connorbedard ❤️❤️
user1 🤮
user2 mans pulled a baddie like yn … let me know your ways
madi_bedard sista sista
madi_bedard I’m stealing her
yourusername im yours <3
trevorzegras and Connor’s and Mat’s ?
yourusername yes.
colton.dach yn > Connor 🤷🏼‍♀️
olivermoore11 agreed.
titobeauvi91 she has a more pleasant presence
_connorbedard wow TEAMMATES thank you!
jamie.drysdale YOU’VE BEEN DATING A YEAR!?
luca.fantilli That’s gotta be illegal
trevorzegras Not so team Connor and yn now huh Jimmy
yourusername oh please you wouldn’t have known we were dating if I didn’t tell you
barzal97 🤘🏻
user3 you need someone better than yn
trevorzegras lol good luck finding anyone better
barzal97 she’s a national treasure
jamie.drysdale haters will be haters
_connorbedard too bad I love her 🤷🏼‍♀️
yourusername boys stop it I’m blushing ☺️
adamfantilli he said the L word 🤢
A/N I’m … back ??
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diorsluv · 10 months ago
Text
feather , part 19
“ you act like a bitch ”
series m. list previous chapter next chapter
( socialmedia!au )
missseraphina
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liked by lhughes_06 and 674 others
missseraphina not quite golden hour but you make it feel like it anyway 🌅
view all comments
username16 i’m gagging.
username47 fuck no lmaooo
username3 so cringe
username92 luke isn’t even commenting he’s only liking her posts 😭😭
→ username96 i knowww like this has got to be the most embarrassing thing i’ve ever seen
username77 miss girl is trying way too hard
username30 ignore the haters babe!
liked by missseraphina
username25 i honestly would off myself
username81 god please tell me this is all just a bad dream
username20 this is my 13th fucking reason. i need my dryshughes crumbs rn
yourusername super cute! golden hour is any hour when you’re with the one you love 🥰
→ missseraphina thanks i guess? lmao and yeah maybe that’s why he always tells me i’m glowing
username1 don’t fucking tell me she just implied that luke loves her in lil drizzy’s replies
username6 there’s no way luke didn’t comment but his ex girl did
→ username49 lmfaooo i don’t think she’s his ex
→ username37 at this point she might as well be
username42 stopp this is so adorable
username21 so happy for u!!
username69 someone gouge my eyes out i’m begging
lhughes_06
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liked by jackhughes, markestapa, yourusername, and 77,298 others
lhughes_06 throwback time? 🫣
tagged: yourusername
view all comments
trevorzegras kid u make me laugh LMAOOO
→ lhughes_06 glad i could be of service
→ _alexturcotte fr this is too funny
→ colecaufield who needs netflix when you have luke
username56 I CANTTT they all see it as a joke
→ username84 it is a joke bro 💀 like luke’s just fucking around w mississippi
yourusername were u just keeping these photos locked up for months 🙄🙄
→ lhughes_06 i mean they’re not even that old tbh
→ yourusername aw just wanted an excuse to post me huh?
→ lhughes_06 dont even need an excuse
username61 DRYSHUGHES IS MAKING A COMEBACK
→ username4 I AM GOBBLING THE DRYSHUGHES CRUMBS UPP
username73 i just bet my friend $30 they get together by the end of the hockey season
→ username50 ur investing a lot into a relationship that doesn’t even exist yet
→ username73 key word: yet
missseraphina oh but the retro days have been over, no need for a throwback 😁
dylanduke25 i vividly remember you got us kicked out of the restaurant as soon as you threw her over your shoulder
→ lhughes_06 no you got us kicked out bc u squirted ketchup all over mackie
→ mackie.samo you stained my favorite white shirt and i’m still waiting for you to replace it 😒
→ yourusername that was your doing dyl don’t even
→ markestapa i thought it was because eddy kept screaming
→ edwards.73 BECAUSE DUKER WAS HARASSING ME
→ dylanduke25 🙁🙁
_alexturcotte i left you on the curb for a minute so i could heat up the car and i came back to you snuggling
→ lhughes_06 we were tired
→ yourusername WE WERE NOT SNUGGLING
→ jackhughes i mean you did look pretty cozy
→ lhughes_06 i was pretty cozy
username75 luke’s just stirring it up and i’m here for it
→ username21 fr cuz that other girl was bein a bitch to MY girl 🙄
username98 lmfaooo mississauga doesn’t even realize he dont gaf abt her
next chapter notes ) mississippi be doin too much frfr, but its okay bc luke dont even want her 🥱
tags: @aliaology @hockeyboysarehot @absolutelyhugh3s @jackquinnswife @freds-slut @love4ldr @blueeyedbesson @43hughes @v1olentdelights @dancerbailey3 @random-human02
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gisele0127 · 1 year ago
Note
Can you do some blue lock scenario with a reader who very much needs glasses? Like reader is straight up walking in to poles, bumping into tables, squinting to read to tweets. They actually never took a drivers test because they couldn’t read road signs or the handbook for that matter🙄 The reader just lives life like this just cause. Like there is no reason for them to just not fail their eye test and get some glasses.
Blue lock boys: Rin, Sae, Barou, Kaiser, Yukimiya(💀), and anyone else you want to write for!!
notes: not proof read!! enjoy :)) THANKS FOR 700 FOLLOWERS GUYS, i’ll promise to feed y’all good when i get back home.🥹🥹
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rin
after walking into another pole while you and him were walking down the street from his football practice he finally had enough.
“get some glasses or im breaking up with you”
you look up at him (all you can see is a blurry glob) confused because why would he say that?
“why’re you being mean? i don’t need glasses i’m fine.”
rin secretly liked that you were stubborn, but right now he’s more concerned. you kept on running into things, needed help with homework and schoolwork because you couldn’t see the board, and bumping into tables and such.
he flicks your forehead (specifically where there was a slight bruise forming), “i don’t like how you’re always running into things. it’s not safe.”
he tries to act nonchalant and like he doesn’t care, but deep down inside he’s afraid something bad will happen to you. he just wants you to be safe.
sae
“i don’t understand why you can’t just get glasses!”
it was the first time sae had ever raised his voice to you, or really in general around you. so what got him to this point? you two had just came back from the hospital because you fractured you ankle from tripping. sae had been getting annoyed by your carefreeness and this was the last thing he needed.
you look at him hurt by his tone, you’ve never seen the stoic man like this. you’re surprised he would even raise his voice at something like this.
he looks at you as if he’s done nothing wrong, keeping the same deadpan he always does. you roll your eyes and (try to) walk away until sae grabs your arm pulling you into his lap,
“don’t walk on your foot, you’re going to get even more hurt. and i said that because i don’t want you getting hurt again. what if i’m not there to save you?”
barou
he walks in the door after a tiring practice to some soup cooking in the kitchen. he smiles knowing you made it, and he grabs a spoon to get just a little taste while you arent looking. little does he know you accidentally put too much salt. spitting it out he says,
“holy fuck y/n. are you trying to give me a heart attack?!” he laughs after.
you look at him embarrassed because you tried to do something nice for him and it went terribly wrong.
he smiles looking at you and tenderly kissing your temple, “after my shower i’ll help you cook how does that sound?”
he sometimes finds your vision problems difficult but he never gets mad at you, he’s just a peace with your decisions to not get glasses. he never gets you for it :)
kaiser
“i set up an eye doctor appointment for you at 12:30 on tuesday by the way. it’s rest day so i’ll be able to drive you” he looks up at you while laying on your chest.
you stop playing with his hair and look confused. “what? why?”
“well love….how do i put this? i’m not your personal driver….and i’m tired of you being so stubborn” he says grinning while motioning for you to continue playing with his hair.
you roll your eyes and continue playing with his hair, you start thinking and you do feel kind of bad that your boyfriend has to drive you everywhere. sure he may be arrogant and cocky, but in reality he’s a lovesick man who only wants the best for you.
yukimiya
(if an ything the roles should be reversed💀)
“do you think our kid is going to be blind?” you innocently ask him one day while studying (mostly him telling you what the class is learning). he’s taken aback but composes himself and gives you a gentle smile.
“maybe.”
it’s a short and sweet answer, but he’s mostly thinking about he fact that you said ‘our kid’. this a sweet moment because you usually never say stuff like this. he gets up from his chair and motions you to come on the couch with him,
“but our child will definitely be wearing glasses, unlike you”. he says while sticking his tongue out.
notes part two: i’m sorry this took so long, i’ve been busy traveling all over! i hope it’s to your liking :) @crybabyyams thank you so muchh:))
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bomber-grl · 1 year ago
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Leo Valdez relationship hc♡
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₊˚⊹Pairing(s): Leo Valdez x Gn!reader (no pronouns/no specific godly parent)
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₊˚⊹Warning(s): Some cringe things so proceed with caution 😭
If you thought he was annoying he gets 100x worse
Like you know that one friend that gets a lil too comfortable around you?
Yea well that’s him except he’s your boyfriend
Now, I kinda sorta imagine diff sides of him as ur bf
So the most obvious way is him acting annoyingly clingy and such
He’s always cuddling up to you, calling you cringe nicknames/pet names, and just being so clingy and affectionate
Not that you hate it
He’s so sweet too, like he knows he’s annoying and stuff but for the most part it’s just to tease or mess with you
And when it comes to the more emotional part of the relationship, he’s there
You can only guess it’s because of how he always tries to hide his true feelings behind jokes and humor
Due to your relationship you two began getting closer and thus conversations of his true feelings and thoughts were revealed along the way.
So it just makes you sad that not enough people realize how sad and miserable he can be sometimes.
The reality of this slaps you in the face when you accidentally stumbled into him bawling his eyes out and very obviously going through something serious, then starts laughing and throwing out jokes at his own expense
Like why??
All you could think of doing was hugging him. Really settled in stone that y’all are 4lifers
Continuing from that, he really does like you
Like all his life he was literally “the other woman” in the sense that no one ever wanted him back.
So once you return his feelings he’s bamboozled
He genuinely takes a step back and tells you to stop joking around.
That’s how bad it was
Well, because of how taken back he was he not only made jokes but eventually realized there was no reason to use them as a cover anymore and just hugged and thanked you.
Yea, thanked you for liking him
Most times you enjoy each-others company in either your cabin, if not in bunker 9
While you’re just chilling in there practicing or doing whatever and him just working on a project he asks what makes him so attractive to you
Of course he drops jokes like “ofc I’m super sexy” or “how could u resist me?”
But when you ultimately tell him what you liked about him and how cute you found him-
He flusters
Badly
How easy it is to fluster him is one thing you absolutely love about him
He’s always getting overly cocky and flirting with you like there’s no tomorrow while dropping the most down right horrendous pet names known to man
(Ex: pookie wookie bear, sugar booger, etc)
Most times when Leo would flirt with girls in the past they’d ignore him and basically look down on him. ( which we all know)
Well when your lovely ass comes around he does the same routine
But unlike before, you actually reciprocate this flirting
And he combusts on the spot
*leo exe has stopped working*
Quite literally
He’s so unused to his affections being returned it’s literally whiplash the second it is
Gets to the point where he’s so embarrassed from your constant harassing teasing and flirting that he covers his face and basically whines out, begging for you to stop.
What a simp
(This statement is quite literally acknowledged by everyone else too LMAOO)
aside from that, he’s super hot
Literally
Concerningly so, especially during the summer
And it’s the absolute worse
Not only do you have to worry over him potentially over heating and passing out -
But also worry about yourself passing out CUZ THIS MAN DOES NOT KNOW PERSONAL SPACE!!!😭😭😭
He’s always clinging onto you and it could be 100 degrees outside and he truly does not give a flying fuck
It gets to the point where you have to peel him off of you, or at least beg someone else to do so in your place
And then he pouts and acts upset like??
Would he rather you die of over heating??😭
Like sorry we all ain’t fire resistant 🙄
Your personality takes a whole 180 during winter
Sure, they have the weather controller dome at camp but during missions that’s when you cling to him.
He always just lets you because of how touch starved the poor guy is.
(You probably are too if we’re being real here)
In the case that the weather controller isn’t working and it starts snowing then you most definitely sneak him in your cabin or bunker 9-
(I firmly believe he would build beds or sum shit for y’all to hang there and eat snacks)
And y’all would cuddle. You’d be warmly tucked under the sheets away from the harsh winds and hearing nothing else but each others breath.
Going back to physical affection in your relationship- home dude would be stressingggg
He’s be so nervous and his heartbeat would speed up anytime you’d hug and hold his hand.
Again, he gets way clingier and once y’all kiss there ain’t no going back.
He’s stuck to you forever.
If you ever want to cuddle or sleep in the same bed as him for a “sleepover”-ish thing then best believe dudes gonna be the worst sleepover- partner??
Just imagine this-
Leo, you ,both laying side by side under warm sheets on a dark winter night.
No light besides that of the moon and y’all have been pretty intimate and emotional. Just getting to know each-other on another level
Finally you’re falling asleep, your lids are drooping and you breath calms down after Leo shed a few tears.
Then all you hear is-
“Bro imagine if-“
Literal slap to the face
Like you can’t tell me he doesn’t say the most random shit and stops yall from actually sleeping. Literally has y’all giggling and shit all night.
If you’re in your cabin and you have siblings- they literally tell you to shut the fuck up and be grateful they let ur lil boyfriend sleep there without snitching.
Like goddamn
Never have y’all once slept in Leo’s cabin because how how fucking weird his siblings are-
Anyway 🙃
Bro is always showing you off
He has you on his arm and always saying shit about how he pulled a baddie
Like, sir, you’re the baddie
Anyway
Best believe home dude spoils you
Like sure, sometimes he’s a lil broke but he’s always making and buying you little things
Which is honestly so sweet 😭😭
Especially when you react by cuddling him and just peppering his face in kisses
He’s glad to have you as his significant other
I mean in his own words
“All da ladies love Leo”
(Ofc replaced w a Gn term cuz I’m sure everyone loves Leo lmao)
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sadhours · 1 year ago
Note
gosh ok bestie I wonder when ur gonna hate me for always being here but I can’t help it.
imagine dom billy wakes up horny, and fucks you from behind as he’s spooning you-drilling his cock in and out chasing high. It’s so rough and you love it- you can’t help but moan so loudly to which billy grabs onto you and tells you to shut up because they’re not alone in the house. He’s just using you at this point for his relief. At one point you start crying because it feels so good and he’s all in your ear like -‘fuck. you’re crying?’ And somehow manages to go even faster moaning in your ear. Inspired by this below ☺️
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I’m a lil embarrassed I didn’t even realize I had written that until like just now 👀 I was like ugh I love that who wrote that let’s credit them and then I reread it a couple times and I was like oh shit that was me 🙄
Anyways I love you! Here’s this :)
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It’s the smell of your hair and skin that triggers it. His nose is shoved into the mess of as he spoons you from behind. Billy woke up maybe ten minutes ago, but he wasn’t really awake. He was drifting in and out, nuzzling against the crook of your neck when he inhales deeply. The sleepy scent of you is one of his favorites, right up there with the salty air at the beach. Usually, it’s a comforting smell as it tries to lure him back to sleep. But this morning, it makes his dick twitch and he actually feels a little feral, going in for another breath of it.
He gropes your hip while he rolls his against your ass. The sensation stirs you, a sweet hum coming from your throat as you turn to look up at him.
“Morning,” you purr, voice a tad scratchy with sleep and Billy thinks you sound so sexy.
“Mhm,” he kisses your jaw and grinds against you again, “Need you.”
His words go straight to your cunt, thighs tingling as you grow wet. It’s what’s so lovely about him; the way he makes you feel so desired. Never in your life have you felt so god damn good about yourself. Not until you met Billy.
“Take me, then,” you plead softly.
You ain’t gotta tell him twice. He moves his hand between your bodies, pushing his briefs to his ankles and kicking them off. Next, his hands pull your flimsy tank top over your breasts and he gives them a squeeze for good measure. Can’t help himself, really. Finds himself grabbing you whenever he gets the urge. He loves the way you act embarrassed about it in public but your body always melts into it, enjoying it just as much as he does. Billy makes quick work of your panties and then grabs your thigh, angling your leg up so you’re open for him.
He smoothes his hand over your ass before rubbing his fingers against your leaking hole. A devious chuckle bordering on a moan leaves his lips as he soaks his fingers in your slick.
“Such an eager slut for me,” he purrs.
Before you can reply, he’s shoving his cock inside your pussy. A low groan escapes him and you let out a little squeal. Billy pounds into you relentlessly, rough and quick thrusts that force your eyes wide before they’re rolling back in your head. It’s an otherworldly bliss. You swear his cock was made just specifically for you; it reaches exactly how deep you need and the slight curve of it angles his tip perfectly against your g-spot. In fact, Billy’s the only person who’s ever made you climax from penetration alone. You seriously didn’t even know it was possible.
His fingernails dig into the skin of your hip as he jackrabbits into you. Your body jerks back and forth with his movements and the bed springs squeak rhythmically. He’s so rough, his face scrunches up in pleasure as he grunts with it. Billy’s pretty damn pornographic and it only makes your cunt that much more soaked, you can hear the squelch of it but it’s more arousing than disgusting. Just evidence of how carnally you want him. Billy’s hips snap against you even harder and you can’t help the loud moan erupting from you.
He grabs hold of your face and looks down at you, “Shut the fuck up. You wanna wake everyone up with that little whore mouth of yours?”
You almost want to say yes, it feels so fucking good you don’t care who hears and a part of you wants everyone to know what he can do to you. But, more than anything to want to please this man, want to be the best good girl for him so you bite your lip and try to keep it down. It’s a struggle though, the drag of his thick length against your clenching walls is excruciatingly delicious. Billy fucks you dumb, drool pooling at the corner of your lips as you meet his gaze with big, shiny eyes.
The position is a little strenuous, you’re almost on your stomach but your neck is craned up to look at him. But you don’t dare complain, can’t fathom him stopping for even a second to throw into whatever position he wants. The sound of skin slapping together is loud, he’s really fucking into you at breakneck speed. Billy’s essentially using you for his release at this point, pushing you hard into the mattress but you wouldn’t have it any other way. You’re more than happy to be his little fuck toy, a vessel for his pleasure. It’s so demanding yet satisfying that tears begin leaking from your eyes.
“Fuck,” he groans lowly, still holding onto your jaw, “you’re crying.”
It excites him, spurs him even further and he lowers his face down to yours. His thrusts accelerate, force even harder as he drills into your aching cunt. You can’t hold it in any longer, you let out a sob while he moans into your ear.
“Billy! Billy, Billy!” you cry out, whining and moaning. You’re clenching around his cock, it’s too much but too amazing to stop. You need this like you need air.
“Such a good girl,” he praises, moving his hand to grab at your tits. “Feels so good your crying, huh baby?”
“So fucking good,” you whine out, “Billy… gonna cum.”
He groans lowly, “Cum for me, baby. Be a good girl. Give me what I want.”
You spasm around his cock, urged by his words, by the permission. It rips another sob from you, then a slew of loud moans, surely waking your roommates.
“Fuck, fuck,” he whimpers, pushing you fully into your stomach while he thrusts in and out you faster, the slick from your orgasm making it easier. He cums inside you with a guttural moan, collapsing his weight on to your back while he pants in your ear. You can’t imagine a better way to wake up.
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jaeminlovesboomboomtime · 1 year ago
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enhypen reaction to you calling them by their first name
Heeseung
“Heeseung what are your plans for today?”
“I’m sorry, what did you say?” he would ask with this face 😦
dawg was literally eating his cereal when you asked him this and just stared at you eating his cereal slowly
“Heeseung, I asked you what your plans were for today” you said rolling your eyes bc he wasn’t answering you 🥱
He then gets up out of his chair and walks over to you. he puts his arms on your shoulder and says “Please, enlighten me on what you said again”
your literally malfunctioning like a robot that just got water poured on it.
“Uhm no man”
“ugh ew don’t EVER call me man”
“Well then what do I call you, Heeseung?”
“I don’t know maybe like, Heedeungie or Bambi?”
his eyes would be sparkling sm i swear 🥹
unfortunately you would give in and call him ‘heedeungie’ and ‘bambi’
“What no i’m- i dont- ugh fine. ONLY because your my boyfriend and i love you <3”
he starts jumping up and down like a little child when he finally wins.
Jay
You’ve always really liked Jay’s perfume collection. He had some sprays that he’d let you borrow but you wanted some for your own.
“Hey Jeongseong, where do you get all these perfumes from?”
mans socks almost flew off his feet when you said his first name. 😇
“I’m sorry who the hell is Jeongseong?” he asked as if you didn’t know what had just came out of your mouth.
you, being a watery 🤡 just replied with, “Uhm who is the only man here with the name Jeongseong?”
blud looked at you so offended 😭
when you stood up from the couch dawg tackled you back on the couch and cuddled with you.
“I’ll get them for you-“
“Omg yay thank you so much!” you cut him off but he continues
“-Only if you don’t call me Jeongseong anymore.” he said looking at you with an eyebrow raised.
“Okay okay deal!”
man smiles at his success 😃
Jake
since winter was coming up, you still had your summer stuff out and really needed help putting it all away. Jake was doing nothing besides playing a game on his phone (let’s say rhythm hive 😍) so you decided ask him for help.
“Hey Jaeyun, would you mind helping me out by putting the summer shit in the shed? 😃”
🧍‍♂️🧍‍♂️
“Uhm you good Jaeyun?”
🐌🐌
doesn’t make a big deal about it and decides to play along yk?
“Sure thing, Y/N. I’ll help you!” jake replied smiling from ear to ear.
You just stand there. You didn’t actually think that Jake would be so chill about it
🧍‍♀️
“What? What’s wrong Y/N”
“Ugh baby your ruined it!” you said playfully while running into the backyard.
“HAHAHA I SAUR GOT YOU GOOD.” Jake laughs and runs into the yard with you.
“You SAUR didnt 🥱🙄” you said mocking jake.
Sunghoon
blud is used to you doing this at this point. don’t even respond to you
“Hey Sunghoon what ya doing?” You ask.
“Oh nothing just watching TV.” He said as if it wasn’t obvious enough.
“Oh. Well Sunghoon I was just wondering if you wanted to watch a movie with me”
“Sure, I’ll pick the movie.” He said getting up
you were very confused on why he wasn’t reacting like you thought he would’ve. you honestly thought he would’ve been somewhat upset about it but he seems to not be bothered.
“Sunghoon can it be a action move please 🙏?” you asked. you called him sunghoon to see if it would tick him off but he didn’t budge.
“Hey! Why aren’t you reacting when I call you by your first name?” You ask upset
Sunghoon just slowly turns around and looks at you 😛
“Because, you do this to me all the time babe.”
“Oh”
🧍‍♀️🧍‍♀️
you literally feel so embarrassed and now wanna dig your own grave.
Sunoo
Poor baby was so confused. he literally didn’t know what to do after what came out of your mouth.
“Hi Sunoo! Isn’t it such a pretty day out. Wanna go for a walk with me?”
babes just stood their with his mouth like 😦
looks around the room and then point to himself.
“Me?” he asked with his mouth still agape
“Yes you Sunoo! Who else is named Sunoo in this house?” you replied back
“No one..” he replied back softly.
“Do you wanna go for a walk with me Sunoo?”
“Only if you don’t call me Sunoo anymore. I like being call bub, baby, and ddeonu”
he was pouting and WHFILE he is saur cute.
sunoo rn:
🥺🥺
“Okay bub i’m sorry. I wont do it again.” You said smiling and hugging him.
happy sunoo = happy life
Jungwon
you and jungwon decided to do some ‘spring cleaning’ in your bedroom. yalls were cleaning underneath his bed when you found a skateboard
you always wanted to learn how to skate but never did because your older brothers were just asses 🙄
“Jungwonnnnn, ouuuu can you please teach me how to skate? please please pleaseeee?”
shy creature istg
“What? OH skating yeah mhm I could teach you!"
you literally spent the rest of the day learning and let's say you have scratches all over each your legs and hands..
He made it his job to place a a huge ass bandaid on each one and place a tiny kisthy on each one which eventually annoyed you.
MY HEART ❤️❤️❤️
Niki
you saw this trend on tiktok where people are making cakes of pictures of people but end up looking like it just fell 30ft in the air. you really wanted to do this with niki because 1. you were bored and 2. because you just love spending with with him.
you heard him coming towards the kitchen so you call him over
“Riki i wanna make something with you come here now please!”
he does that thing where he slowly turns his neck and pops his eyeballs out. (KSJDNDJISKOWOA IHOPE YALL KNOW WHAT IM TALKING ABOUT)
"What did you call me?" he says with a psychotic look while smiling in the hallway.
“Riki..baby..?”
he runs from the hallway, picks you up, and runs over to the living room to plop down on you.
"RIKIll HELP ME | CANT BREATHE"
acts innocent while your suffering
"So what did you wanna ask me? 😇😇😇 he says with his legs kicking back and forth while your under him
“I wanted to make a cake with you” you say out of breath.
“Oh yay! I love cake!” He says running back to the kitchen leaving you on the couch.
HAJOAPALA I CANT BELIEVE I FINALLY HAD THE NUTS TO POST 😭 yalls this is my first post so at least give me some credit for trying here ☹️ anyways, love yall. stay safe!! ❤️❤️❤️
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mossyivy · 7 months ago
Note
I’m going to go insane if Tumblr scraps one of my ask’s again. Gonna reveal my identity at this point. ☹️ (You wish.)
BUT OH MY GOODNESS YES YES YES, A THIRD BABY IS POSSIBLE!!!
I personally feel like Violet would be around 13-15, and Cecilia 9-10. (You can adjust with the age gap etc.) So they’d be a little older now, barely teenagers now.
Of course, the pregnancy was an unexpected thing. Both you and Leon never thought the two of you would have another baby, but nonetheless, the two of you had to deal with the consequences of your horny actions. 🙄
Violet and Cecilia would absolutely hate the two of you at first. Big sisters? Hell no. They’d literally run out of the living room yelling and slam the door to their separate rooms in frustrations. But what could the two of you do? Just wait and let them get over it…
At first, it was such a weird thing to them…Seeing their mom with a belly…Ew. And how Leon would give you double the attention made them get the ick, they were already used to y’all acting like horny teenagers but oh my god.
But alas, as soon as they met their little baby brother, oh, it was like it was the greatest thing in the world! The two of them would constantly beg to hold him, fighting over who gets to unfreeze the milk from the fridge and make him a bottle.
They’d both play with him, volunteer to even take him off of your hands for the day. (Which never lasted because they regret it as soon as he has a stinky diaper.) The two would also very much criticize his outfit choices. Every single onesie and little outfit you put on him had to be approved by his big sisters.
I also feel like they’d come up to you in the middle of target with a bunch of baby toys and clothes saying that he’d absolutely love them, and you just had to sign and give in.
- Anon! 🎀
Tumblr has been a Cunt to me the past few days with asks. I'm about to delete my whole account if it doesn't get fixed (I'm being dramatic.)
Leon and his wife would even be shocked they could have babies still... Not unhappy but you'd look him dead in the eyes and tell him "I'm getting my tubes tied or you're getting a vasectomy. No more kids."
Violetta (12) would definitely want nothing to do with the baby at first. She's almost a teenager and her parents having another kid at their DECREPIT AGE?!
So Embarrassing 🙄
Cecilia (8), still very young and impressionable would probably just be following her sisters lead but secretly be excited to finally have some to boss around.
But Violet (being the older pain in the ass sister she is) would probably get to Lia and drill it into her head that middle kids get forgotten and oh nooo she's the middle child
Make her sister cry, get grounded and her phone taken away for that.
But once their mother starts showing, Lia comes around immediately. Cuddles up with mommy on the couch whenever she can just to be close to the baby. Violets still super hesitant and not happy about it. Especially every time her dad shows you affection and like... Bucket loads of affection.
He missed seeing you pregnant. That pretty glow you'd always exude even just existing in his presence. And your cute pregnant waddle! He could go on for hours how much he loves when you're pregnant. This is a completely new experience for Lia, Violet hardly remembers what happened when you were originally pregnant with Lia . She was way too young to remember.
Time comes around when you find out the babies sex, Leon fully preparing for a 3 for 3 on the princess counter.
It's a boy... He's devastated at first. He really wanted another girl. But you on the other hand are relieved. You wanted a little boy. Not that you don't love your daughters it just be nice to have a son too. Eventually he's okay, especially after you tell him this means you need to have more renovations done to the house so there's room for the new baby. That means a new room to make into a nursery, something they didn't get to do with Lia but this time around they will.
Closer to the due date you start going over names for the baby. Leon suggesting Marvin as a middle name, you know the context of it and accept it immediately. Everyone starts throwing names around, Violet staying quiet. Lia suggests calling him Puppy...
"That's not a name honey." You chuckle at her suggestion when Violet looks at Leon.
"What's your middle name Dad?"
"Scott." Violet looks between her parents, shrugging.
"Scott sounds good to me."
You and Leon look at each other and smile. Agreeing it's a good name.
Time comes around to have the baby. Violets still against the kid, Lia's bouncing off the walls excited to meet her baby brother. You give birth and the girls are allowed in the room finally.
Both girls look mostly like a good mixture of the two of you... Leon could never deny Scott as his son (he never would) because the kid looks exactly like him. Dusty Brown hair from his younger years, cute little nose, big blue eyes and a butter ball of a chunky baby. He's absolutely precious.
Lia gets help from Leon to hold him since she's still younger. Violet keeps her distance until she walks over to check on you and make sure you aren't too tuckered out. Leon basically traps Violet between a chair and her only escape, offering her to hold her brother if she sits down. She agrees just to get this over with.
She has little Scott in her arms. He looks up at her smiling with those big blue eyes... 3. 2. 1...
She's crying. Won't stop talking about how cute he is or how much she loves him already. You and Leon share a look before he tries taking the baby back.
"He needs skin to skin time with mommy." She whines, reluctantly handing him over.
After that day you basically have two live in nanny's. Both girls wanting to help.
Unless it's diaper related...
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funtheysaid · 6 months ago
Text
IWTV 2x02 Initial Thoughts (Stream Of Consciousness)
- ooh the title card changed! I’ve been wanting to see the Eiffel Tower as a “fang” since season two was announced. WE IN PARIS BABY!
- ayooo three-way (interview) incoming
- Daniel’s “Paris sucks” aka “Paris is where my ex-bf is from and he sucks (dick), but not mine anymore, and no, I’m not bitter abt that, his city just fucking stinks (literally)”
- not two minutes in and Devil’s Minion is already flirting bickering
- ALICE MENTION alice!armand truthers are gon love that shit i just know
- “I’ll tell you what a woman is” That’s my sapphic-coded queen!!! 🕯️ pls S2 give me claudeleine 🕯️
- “Gauche” well, yes.
- Loumand: 🥰🥰 Daniel: 🙄 he‘s so second-hand embarrassed for them I can’t
- I mean, it’s crazy. What? We finish each other’s- I WAS WITH HIM FOR LONGER THAN LESTAT WAS WITH HIM WRITE THAT DOWN WRITE THAT DOWN DANIEL PUT IT ON RECORD WEVE BEEN FUCKING FOR LIKE DOUBLE THE TIME …that’s what i…was….gonna say?
- Louis would be that faux-intellectual hipster who has his own darkroom full of overexposed and blurry, unfocused photos that are his “art” bc he took them on film (affectionate)
- Not claudia calling him out on it in the next scene “let me think I’m deeper than I am” okay honey you do you
- “She’s miserable but she doesn’t want to fuck with your too delusional left bank dilettante vibes” ahh the narrative foils are foiling, I see
- The show: Alice was pregnant, My dumb ass: OMEGAVERSE DEVILS MINION !?!?
- “joyfully joyless” MOOD.
- Claudia looking at Madeleine like “I don’t know if I want to be her or be with her” Dw babe it’s a rite of passage for all of us you’ll figure it out
- “Your French is ugly” 🥹👉👈 weally?
- “the dress for my body” LOOK I know what she meant, but I can’t help it that my mind is perverted
- LMFAO NOT GLORYHOLE PARK
- okay why Loumand playing with my heart “I will never harm you. And I never have” wtf wtf wtf
-Oh no the ole business card trick! we all know that’s Louis’ kryptonite he loves a man with credentials
- i like girls, but why is santiago kinda…
- Woah the Annika scene was really hard to watch which I think was the point but goddamn idk if I’ll be able to rewatch that part
- Estelle is my self-insert. I’m claiming her.
- “You both fucked Lestat!?!” HOW DID THEY KNOW WE WANTED HIM TO SAY THAT!?
- “He tasted of vermouth and annihilation” We both know you have no earthly idea what that man tastes like, Armand. Be so fucking fr right now.
- Did Armand just casually drop that he had a threesome with a father and son? I’m sorry, sir????
- “Now I know what two blood fat cocks slapping hands feel like” When I tell you my spirit left my body
- oh shit here we go. I’m a caged animal and it’s time for my weekly enrichment. give me my loustat.
- there’s a letter !?!? Wait wait I wasn’t ready for something like this wait stop stop please
- “all my love belongs to you. you are its keeper” just take me out back and shoot me at this point
- “it is a thin veil” fucking fuck why was that so romantic??
- the blood tears welling up in Lestat’s eyes I’m-
- “Rebound of my life” and in that moment, he spoke for the people
- WHAT IS HAPPENING???? Jesus Christ, they were talking about Alice and then it cuts to FUCKING ARMAND!?! This is not a drill. Everyone to your stations, this is not a drill.
- “You sold your Dad’s playboy magazines at recess” Hmmm? You’re telling me a “straight” teenage boy sold porno mags instead of keeping them for himself??? Yeah, I call gay on that one
- “she wanted to say yes” you motherfuckers.
- Oh shit Louis is pissy tonight rawr kitty got claws
- Devils minion girlies are thriving, skin glowing, hair silky, breath minty, pillow cold, stomach full, dreams sweet, and by Jove, we fucking deserve it !!!!
- daniel’s shaky “um- gulp” …….guys this is gonna sound crazy but i think there might actually be a god
- ooh the camera/photography being like a divide or barrier between Louis and his present situation. Like he wants to capture the moments, but only as if an onlooker and not a participant… interesting!
- “Who?” will never not be funny
- “Mon ami” in the same episode as “Mon Cher” FUCK ME GENTLY WITH A CHAINSAW
- “Armand for you” nah nah nah i changed my mind, you can do like Leatherface and shove that chainsaw in rough and hard
- Close up on Louis’ conflicted face, fire blazing behind him…. That’s not foreboding in any way. I’m sure they’ll all live happily ever after from now on :D
What a ride! Until next week! 🧛‍♂️🩸
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jeonqkooks · 2 years ago
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our beloved summer | jjk (04)
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You made a vow to hate Jeon Jungkook ever since he packed up and left you without a single explanation, but when he shows up at your door after years of radio silence, it turns out that maybe your resolve isn’t as strong as you thought.
pairing: producer!jungkook x songwriter!reader
genre/warnings: exes au, fluff, angst, eventual smut, drinking, swearing, the word "dick" is mentioned a few times lol, jeon jungkook (yes, bc at this point he's annoying even to me), yoongi is a menace, oc is fighting with everybody asdfgjkl girl 🙄, inaccuracies about music making !! and i hope obs readers aren't music majors bc that'd be really embarrassing for me lol, idk i think that's it
rating: PG-15
word count: 16.3k
note: a major thank you to @daechwitatamic for beta-ing this for me and for doing it so fast!!, you are a gem ily jo 🥺🥰 aaaaaand omg yeah! i can't believe the duck is here. he's finally here!!! ah we love to see it hehehehe :') it feels fitting that obs4 is the one to close off 2022 <3
series masterpost / main playlist ; interactive playlist ; moodboards ; taglist
— as always, i’d appreciate any thoughts or comments you may have, and please drop a like and/or reblog if you enjoy reading ♡
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Ask your new lover what it's like to be given A real fighting chance before you wish her, "Good riddance,” Did anything ever really count Or was I just a two-year practice round?
Before - NIKI
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Ah, the grand opening of Jimin’s own dance studio. It’s been in the works for a while now, ever since he quit his job as an instructor at that fancy academy downtown. 
When you arrive at the venue, the event is already in full swing. You would’ve come sooner, to see Jimin before things get too hectic and more people would want to steal him away to say their congratulations. You could’ve come sooner, had you accepted Jungkook’s offer to drive the both of you here. It’s the less time-consuming option, and one that’s more environmentally conscious, but you didn’t want to be left alone with Jungkook – not after what Namjoon had unintentionally revealed to you – in a space where you couldn’t force him to just talk about work while Jimin went to mingle with his guests, and Taehyung couldn’t get off work any earlier than 6:30.
You have to hand it to Jimin. He really went all out for this. The venue he booked looks amazing, and so much bigger than you expected, but that’s probably to accommodate the shit ton of people he invited tonight. There’s catering, cutesy party favors, and most importantly, an open bar that you absolutely would die for. Bless Jimin and his excessive spending heart.
Although, the photographer that he got for tonight can’t exactly be considered great. He looks young, maybe early 20s and still hasn’t learned how to lose the attitude yet, just walking around with his hefty camera and looking like he has a stick up his ass. He’s definitely being underpaid. Jimin must not have taken this factor into account until he had already exceeded his budget.
“Oh, Jiminie,” you mutter to yourself like a mom whose child just won the school talent show, making a beeline for Jimin and pulling him into a hug, not caring that he’s holding a flute of champagne that could’ve easily spilled onto you. “Jiminie, I’m so proud of you. I know how hard you’ve worked, and you deserve this so much. I love you. You’re going to be amazing.”
Every single syllable that slips from your lips is genuine. You’ve seen how passionate Jimin is, and you know how long this has been a dream of his. In your eyes, he deserves the absolute world and more.
You kiss his cheek to emphasize the meaning behind your words. You’ve never been the sentimental type with your friends except for rare occasions like these. On birthdays, you're not the one to shoot them the first happy birthday! text at 12AM on the dot, nor are you the one to plan surprise parties and go all out on extravagant presents.
You have your own way of showing your friends that you love them without any grand, tacky gestures. You like to think that you’re a good friend, and you hope they think that too.
But… you feel guilty today. You feel guilty for even toying with the idea of not going just because you didn’t want to face Jungkook in a setting that wasn’t the studio. When Taehyung asked if you had gotten the invite and you couldn’t confirm your attendance right away, he looked at you like you were out of your mind. He looked at you like Why wasn’t dropping every single one of your plans not the first thought that comes to mind when you received the text. Because this is Jimin you’re talking about. One of your closest friends. The incredulousness on Taehyung’s face that night made you feel small because really, you were being selfish.
After the breakup, you repeatedly assured Taehyung that he should still be friends with Jungkook, though the petty part of your brain wanted nothing more than to have Taehyung cut off all ties with your ex and tell him to go shove it.
If you weren’t in the picture, they still would’ve bonded the way they did and developed that kind of brotherly connection. Just because you and Taehyung were closer doesn’t mean that he and Jungkook weren’t close. They were close throughout college, and it had nothing to do with the fact that one was your best friend and the other was your boyfriend. That’s why you weren’t particularly fond of making Taehyung lose someone he considered family, even if that man did stomp on your heart to hell and back.
You just had to make it crystal clear to Taehyung – and Jimin by extension – to not put you and Jungkook in the same place ever again.
And that’s exactly what Taehyung and Jimin have been doing these past few years. Birthday parties, nights out and celebratory dinners multiplied by two to keep you and Jungkook separate. It was like you were strangers who never knew each other existed. Different worlds that can’t ever collide. You all got used to this certain arrangement. It works out for everybody: You don’t have to see your ex, and Jimin and Taehyung get to keep their friend. If it isn’t broken, don’t fix it.
The barrier that you forced between you and him worked, but sadly it did put a strain on Taehyung and Jimin’s wallets. You were always a group of five though, until Hoseok moved abroad the very week before college ended. He didn’t even attend graduation. That summer, you weren’t the only one left heartbroken. Hoseok’s parents had turned a 180 and decided to make him pursue another degree to take over the family business instead of continuing to let him follow his dreams, which have always been music and dancing. When he broke the news, you all gathered around and cried together. You were beyond upset for him; you knew how Hoseok shined the brightest when he got to do what he loved.
Since then, he only comes back a couple of times a year. Every time, you would all try and make the most of it, wanting to relive those college days that you cherished so much. But during each of these visits, there is always something bittersweet that you think you all could feel. Because Hoseok wasn’t a constant in your lives anymore. The five of you were thick as thieves. You were there for each other through every high and every low. It’s somber to think that you will never have that ever again.
Hoseok wasn’t there to personally witness what the breakup did to you, but you were certain that he knew about it. Taehyung and Jimin must have told him at some point. You don’t think you’ve ever had a proper conversation with Hoseok about how your relationship with Jungkook ended. He only visits as seldom as it is. You don’t want to spend every reunion wallowing in misery, or make everything about your baggage when everyone has their own shit to deal with.
“Shit, Y/N, why are you being sappy?” Jimin mutters as he blinks at you, eyes glassy, all shy and adorable when he sniffles. “You’re gonna make me cry.”
It isn’t until then that you notice Jungkook standing next to Jimin, having watched the whole interaction with an identical champagne glass in his hand and a small smile on his face.
“Hi,” he says, even though it has only been a couple of hours since you last saw each other. 
You send him a nod, merely to acknowledge his presence. Taehyung pulls Jimin into a hug of his own too, swaying him from side to side like they’re in their own little world. 
You can feel Jungkook’s gaze on the side of your face but you keep your eyes trained on Taehyung’s back, watching your two friends be dramatic and goofy and happy.
When you deem that they’ve had their fun, you tug Taehyung back by his jacket. “Okay, that’s enough, lovebirds. You’re acting like you don’t see each other every other day. Stop being so clingy.”
“No!” Jimin swats your hand away but lets his friend go regardless. He’s smiling so big that his eyes have turned into narrow slits, pearly whites on full display, cute pinchable cheeks turned rosy from the champagne and euphoria. “Do I look weird? I feel like I look weird. I can’t stop smiling.”
“You don’t look weird,” you say, booping his nose affectionately then ruffling his head of blond hair. “You look perfect.”
Jimin blushes, which makes him even cuter. Then his eyes light up when he spots someone behind you. His hand shoots up to wave the person over to your table as he calls, “Hobi hyung!”
Hobi– what?
You and Taehyung turn around, four eyes flying wide open.
Slapping a hand to Taehyung’s chest, you gasp. “Holy shit. Did you know about this?!”
“No! I’m as shocked as you are!”
Hoseok skips the pleasantries. He just grins brightly and yanks you and Taehyung into him, crushing you two in his hug as he shakes you enthusiastically. When he lets go, he kisses both of your cheeks. He diverts his attention to Jungkook then, yelling out Jaykay! so loudly that people turn to look. He does the same thing to Jungkook as he did to you, enveloping the younger man in a very Hoseok-esque embrace.
“Hobi!” you squeal, completely overjoyed. Taehyung looks about the same as you, the two of you practically bouncing like golden retrievers. “Why didn’t you tell us you were going to be here?”
Hoseok shares a look with Jimin, and they both break out into a fit of giggles. “Obviously I wasn’t going to miss tonight,” he says. “But I’m disappointed in you, Y/N. You should’ve surprised Jimin with me, not the other way around.”
“Wha– Jung Hoseok, you blocked me last month after I sent you that jumpscare video.”
“Oh, right,” he laughs. “In any case, it’s always so good to see all of you simp over me every time I come home.”
“Hobi, I implore you to stop saying ‘simp’ as a grown ass man.”
“Y/N, this grown ass man implores you to stop calling him Hobi.”
It isn’t until now that you start to relax more. Everything feels so much simpler now that Hoseok is here and all of you are together. Catching up with him, you’re always enraptured to hear the stories he has to tell. Even if it’s brief and the bubble has to eventually burst, he never fails to give you that odd sense of peace you’ve been craving since you got older. Hoseok has a way of making time stretch on forever, in a good way. 
At one point, he stops talking, noticing something out of place. “Oh? You two…” he gestures between you and Jungkook, and the conversation seems to end here because even Hoseok doesn’t know what to say or what to ask. Clearly Taehyung and Jimin haven’t been doing a very good job at keeping him up to date. Then things just start getting kinda awkward again.
You feel partly to blame. After all, you’re one of the two people making this weird for everybody.
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For most of the night, you manage to avoid talking to Jungkook. It’s not that difficult really, with Taehyung practically gluing himself to your side (per your request) and catching up with Hoseok, Jungkook could hardly get a word in with you.
You pat Taehyung on the cheek. “Thanks for sticking with me,” you tell him.
“Of course,” he says. “And y’know, it’s not like you really gave me a choice.”
Your hand that’s still on his cheek goes to pinch it. His cheek is so squishy, it feels like you’re kneading dough. You can’t help but squeeze your fingers a little harder.
“Ah! Okay!” he squeaks out. “Sorry!”
You giggle at his frowny face before giving him another affectionate pat. “Seriously, can you imagine Jungkook seeing me drunk without you to hold me back? That’s one of my worst nightmares.”
Taehyung bites his tongue, remembering the night he had put Jimin on pick up duty and Jungkook had tagged along. Taehyung even recalls the morning after, when he was walking on eggshells around you, trying to figure out if your memory would serve you. When he was positive that it didn’t, he had to thank the heavens for letting him live to see another day.
Because if you ever find out, oh you would kill him. You would knock him to the ground and strangle him with your bare hands. He’s absolutely certain that you would. Knowingly letting your friend’s ex see her absolutely shitfaced and crying over said ex? Now that is heinous.
“Hold this,” Taehyung says now that it’s just the two of you, handing you his glass of whiskey. Hoseok got pulled somewhere so Jimin could introduce him to some of his staff, and Jungkook is… well, you have no idea where he is. “I have to pee.”
“What, now?”
“No, two hours from now. I’m just announcing it in advance,” Taehyung deadpans. “Yes, now!”
“I literally just thanked you.” You glare up at him. He starts to get sassy a couple of drinks in. “I’ll come with you.”
“What, to the men’s bathroom? Don’t be ridiculous, Y/N. I don’t even see Jungkook anywhere. He’s probably mingling. C’mon, I’ll be gone two minutes, tops, okay?”
“No, no, no, wait–!” Aaand he’s already jogging away. Great.
You sigh, take a sip of Taehyung’s drink and immediately grimace. You really don’t like whiskey. You find an empty table nearby to put the glass down and loiter. To anyone, you must look like you’ve got a bad case of social anxiety, standing alone and fidgeting like that, but no, what you have is Jungkook anxiety. 
As you keep your head down and pull out your phone to make it seem like you actually have something to do instead of waiting for your friend to return from the bathroom, your head bobs gently to the faint music coming from the speakers. Peace lasts for about thirty seconds. You turn to look when someone nudges your shoulder.
“You look beautiful,” Jungkook tells you with a smile that almost blinds you. You have to admit, he’s so handsome tonight, and it’s part of why you’ve been avoiding looking at him since you got here.
You glance down at your outfit. You tend to dress more casually at the studio, but today, you wanted to up the ante a little bit for Jimin. It’s nothing fancy, just a smidge more put-together than what you usually go for. Knee-high boots, a black skirt, a cozy sweater and your favorite winter coat. Actually put on some blush for once  to top it all off.
“I’ve looked like this since the morning.”
“I know,” he says. “I’ve been wanting to say it all day.”
It’s the compliment, the sparkling eyes and the soft, warm smile making your face heat up. You bite the inside of your cheek, urging yourself to snap out of it.
The strategy is to deflect. You practically shove your phone in his face with the Gmail app open, making him squint in reflex at the sudden brightness assaulting his eyes. “So Namjoon just sent me this–”
Jungkook takes a step back and brushes your hand away. “Honestly, if it’s fine with you, can we not talk about work?” he chuckles as he says this. “I just got out of the studio. I’d rather not think about it for a minute.”
So it would appear that deflecting is not a viable option.
“Oh, okay.” You nod slowly, putting your phone back into your bag. You are so awkward, and too sober for this, and desperately need your Taehyung-shaped buffer. “Uhm, so… what now?”
Jungkook gives you a quiet chuckle, trying to go over this as nonchalantly as possible. “Friends can talk about things. I’m sure we can figure something out.”
Your brows furrow slightly as you recall what you told Seokjin before. Friends… Jungkook still doesn’t seem to know the definition of the word. Does he think you meant it? That you were actually friends now? He can’t be that fucking dense, can he? When he came knocking at your door not that long ago, has he forgotten that look in your eyes and the door closing in his face when he uttered this exact word to you?
From the start, Jungkook was never your friend.
“Sorry, I didn’t want to do this at the studio and I didn’t want to do it here, today, Jimin’s big day, but I have to ask. What are you doing?”
He blinks, seemingly confused, and it prompts you to continue.
“What is this? What am I supposed to talk about with you if it’s not work?” you say slowly. “You know I was just saying that to not make things awkward for Seokjin and Namjoon, right?” Too slowly, like he’s stupid and you need to enunciate every syllable. You can’t help it.
Jungkook puts his champagne glass on the table. He looks a little lost, and it’s clear that this is a turn that neither of you expected. See, you think, wishing Taehyung would come back right this second to witness this, This is why I need to drink.
“What happened? I thought we were doing fine.”
He took the words right out your mouth, only a few years too late.
Is he serious? He really is that dense?
Your mouth falls open, trying to gauge if you are actually on the same topic, or if you’re even speaking the same language. It can’t be more painfully obvious that you two have been living completely different realities.
“You happened,” you snap, amazed by the fact that you even have to tell him.
You stop short of saying: Fuck you. You unraveled my life like a hurricane and now I have to be the one to remind you of it? You wanted nothing to do with me the last five years and now you’re trying to get me all to yourself?
You can’t help the next question that slips out either. Blame the small part of you that’s been dying to know this since you found out the news from Namjoon. “Why would you think that we’d be fine? Who do you think I am to you?”
Jungkook’s lips part but he doesn’t say anything for nearly half a minute. His face falls just a tad, and you don’t really know what to make of that. His eyes glimmer under the lights. With what, you can’t know for certain. It must be shame. Is it possible that there’s guilt swimming in those irises? Underneath the surface of those brown eyes, is it too much to ask that there be some regret too?
You think the question nicked him somewhere you can’t see. Call it wishful thinking, but you hope it’s the same place that he has always cut into you.
Bleed. Bleed like you made me bleed.
Finally, he says, “You’re…”
Then, Jimin practically shouts into a mic that he has procured somewhere. Wonderful timing, blondie.
“Can everyone gather at the front for a group photo please? I’m going to hang it on the wall!”
You don’t know if you should be frustrated or grateful for the interruption. That void that you used to fill with anger and resentment is now bubbling with something else. No matter how hard you try to swallow it all down, you know it won’t stop until you overflow, until you’re swallowed whole by that grief again. You feel foolish. Cheap. Hard to love, hard to keep. He meant the world to you but to him, turns out you were merely replaceable.
You turn away from Jungkook in favor of another chaos. In the midst of the grand Park family – Jimin’s many cousins, bubbly nieces and nephews who all want to be in the center of the photo – you get pushed to the side. There’s too many people here. It’ll probably end up looking like one of those company pictures where at least half the people have their eyes closed and the other half look like they can’t wait to get out of there. You don’t know where Taehyung is, if he’s even back from the bathroom. You’re so tired. So drained, all of a sudden. You miss your bed and your comfy pillows and your warm fluffy blanket. You want to sink into it and melt like a piece of marshmallow on hot chocolate.
You stand there awkwardly on the very edge, aware of Jungkook loitering a couple of steps from you as you both wait for people to make up their mind on where to stand. You can tell that the photographer is getting frustrated when he finally steps in to guide the older people when they start looking like buffering Sims. You don’t even know where Jimin and Hoseok are either.
“Okay, is everyone ready?” the photographer asks, his voice unamused as he raises the camera to look through the viewfinder. He doesn’t even wait for any confirmation and just starts counting down. No doubt about it, Jimin is definitely underpaying this guy. “Three, two, o– Wait. You on the left. No, my left. Yes, you, guy in the black coat. Could you stand closer? You’re almost out of the frame.”
Jungkook – “guy in the black coat” – shuffles closer until you can smell his familiar cologne over the overwhelming floral scent radiating off the woman next to you. He moves until the photographer gives his nod of approval, until your arms touch. It makes you nervous, even through the layers of clothes. What was he going to say? What did you want him to say? What could be a good enough answer?
You all smile as the camera clicks a few times. You might’ve had your eyes closed in one of the shots. Seriously, you have to make Jimin show you the picture before he commemorates his wall with it. If you have to be immortalized on a wall next to your ex, then at least you should look good.
Everybody disperses after that; some going to bid Jimin goodbye as they end the night and go home, some returning to their previously established groups to chat some more. You feel like now is probably a good time to leave.
You move to go find Taehyung, but someone stops you. A warm hand wraps around your wrist and pulls you back. You glance at where Jungkook’s skin touches yours, then your eyes flicker up to meet his. They don’t let you move, and neither do the words he says next. His face is softer than you’ve witnessed in a while. No teasing, no bravado. Just honesty.
“You’re someone important to me.”
Oof. Two strikes in one night.
It makes you angry for some reason – his honesty. Because it really looks like he believes it to be true.
This is the last thing you wanted, fighting when you’re supposed to be celebrating Jimin, but you suppose it’s happening. “I can’t tell if you mean it or if you’re just playing with me,” you say.
Jungkook pales a shade as you stare at him with hard eyes.
“I do mean it,” he says. He looks down at your hand, his fingers on your wrist twitching. 
“If that were really the case, we wouldn’t be having this conversation,” you tell him. “If I were really important to you, you wouldn’t have screwed me over like that. If I were really important, you wouldn’t be here right now, acting like I’m something you can throw away whenever you feel like it, and pick back up like nothing ever happened. You know, I was starting to be okay. I was starting to get used to it and you just had to come waltzing back into my life. Do you know how important this is to me? That this is my dream I get to live but I’m just trying to survive it and never have to see you again? Why can’t you just– Fuck.”
You choke on the last of it, knowing that if you keep going, you will cry, and your pride won’t let you break down in front of your friends and strangers alike. In front of Jungkook. You count each breath in your head to steady yourself until your lungs feel less like they’re going to burn out of oxygen. 
You’re surprised that you were able to say that without much liquid courage. You’re glad that you’re standing near the corner of the room where nobody is really paying attention to you. Jungkook lets go of your wrist, visibly gulping as he does so. It feels like there’s an entire orchestra in here – people talking, music playing, all echoing around the room – and you suppose you’re thankful for that. He can’t hear your heart screaming over the noises. If you weren’t sure if he was feeling ashamed before, then you’re sure now. He should be ashamed, for everything he put you through. If you could, you would give it back to him ten times worse.
Quietly, Jungkook says, “I’m sorry,” and then nothing else.
You swear you can hear a clock go tick, tock, tick, tock… The passage of time is so palpable, like something you can hold in your hands. Minutes upon minutes, hours upon hours, days upon days - they sit in the palm of your hands but amount to nothing at all. They slip through your fingers again. Nothing is guaranteed, you realize belatedly then, certainly not closure. You’re never going to get it right. He’s always going to blindside you.
And no matter how hard you try to keep him at bay, he’s always going to get under your skin.
Stop slipping. Stop slipping. Stop slipping.
“Huh,” you mutter to yourself, bitterly, confusedly, amusedly, “I thought that would feel better.”
“What?” he asks.
“Hearing you say sorry. Did you know that you never said sorry to me?”
“It’s not– I–” he stutters. How could he possibly object to that? It’s the truth. It’s the absolute and pathetic truth. He leaves the sentence unfinished like the history of the two of you, half written until he decided that he was done with it. Time would not tell the rest, and all you were left with were blank pages that no one could fill. “I’m sorry,” he ends up saying again, as if repeating it would make the words have more gravity. If that is his intention then you suppose he succeeds, because it makes your heart heavier.
“I’m trying to do right by you.”
You consider it for a second. When you turn away, you find Taehyung across the room, already looking at you, though you don’t think he can hear anything from where he’s standing. Your friend has ‘worried’ written all over his face.
“Are you trying to do right by me? Or by you?” you ask, and then something starts to sink in. You spent so much time thinking about it, wondering where everything went wrong. Going around in circles, dwelling, trying to put together puzzle pieces that just won’t fit. That’s time that you can never get back. You’ve always known that at some point, you would have to let it all go. Maybe now is that point. Let go of things that you have no control over. You’re only burning yourself by holding on. Isn’t it better to let it scar than to keep picking at the wound and making it bleed? “Actually, it doesn’t even matter anymore. What’s the point? I’ve come to terms with it. You can do whatever you want to feel better. Just do it by yourself. Don’t use me.”
Jungkook frowns. “I’m not using you.”
You manage to suppress the urge to scoff. “Isn’t that what you’ve been doing? Thinking you could come back and sweet talk me and then you’d be absolved just like that?”
“I know you must hate me,” he says. “...for everything.”
“I do.” No fucking shit. “If you know that, then why are you doing this?” Don’t push it, your brain says, but the way he’s staring at the ground, unable to meet your eyes, looking like a puppy you just kicked makes you annoyed. “Did you know that the first time I ever saw you, I hated you?” you ask, making his eyes flit up to yours. “I wish we could’ve left it at that.”
When his face flashes with hurt, you almost feel bad even though you wished for this. His jaw clenches as you walk away, leaving him there by himself.
“Wanna head home?” Taehyung asks before you have to even say anything. He regards you with soft and apologetic eyes, with a gentle hand on your arm and concern still etched onto his features. Taehyung is a warm summer’s breeze compared to the desolate winter that Jungkook has made of you. You answer with a simple nod.
“Wait for me by the car. I’ll say bye to Jimin and be right out,” Taehyung tells you.
“Okay.”
He puts an arm around your shoulder and squeezes you once. “Sorry about that by the way… There was a line for the bathroom.”
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Monday comes too soon.
You have to face Jungkook again too soon.
“Unclench your butt.”
You snap your head to the sound of Yoongi’s voice right next to your ear. His tone is teasing, and his face even more so. The man’s got way too much energy for 9 in the morning.
“Excuse me?” you grumble. You’ve been standing outside the studio for almost ten minutes now, letting your nerves eat away at you because you know Jungkook is already here. You saw his car earlier. 
“Your butt,” your friend says. “It’s too clenched.”
“You were looking at my butt?” You give him a disapproving look.
“Only because you look like you’re trying to hold in a shit.” Yoongi shrugs indifferently. “Why are you standing out here anyway?”
Your fingers twitch around the strap of your bag as you try to give him a nonchalant answer. “Trying to manifest the death of capitalism before you interrupted me.”
“Mhmm,” he says, eyeing you suspiciously like a distrusting cat. “Spill. What happened?”
“What happened with what?”
“I know you went to your friend’s thing on Friday. And I know Jungkook was there too. So what happened?”
You debate whether or not you should tell Yoongi. It’s not like you have anything to hide; he already knows about your history anyway. But he’s been the most insufferable toward Jungkook in the short time that he’s been here, and giving him the goss on your little conversation the other day would only give him another reason to be an even bigger menace. You bite your tongue, and put on the most neutral expression you can manage.
“Nothing happened,” you say. “You’re being nosy, Min.”
You push open the door to be greeted by an incredibly cheerful Seokjin and Namjoon. Why is everyone so bubbly on a Monday morning? Have they always been like this, or do you just feel like everything coming out of their mouths is sunshine and rainbows compared to the black cloud hovering over your head?
Seems like you aren’t the only one dreading the new week though. Jungkook visibly stiffens as you enter, completely devoid of that easy-going smile he always greets you with. “Hey,” he tells you.
“Morning,” you reply. To him, to Seokjin, to Namjoon. You take a seat at your usual corner, setting down your bag and pulling out your pen and notebook. 
Seokjin launches into conversation with Yoongi about a basketball game. Apparently there was one last night, but you don’t really care about that. Namjoon doesn’t seem to have much interest in the topic either, choosing to weigh in with an occasional hum here and there to be polite.
Like you, Jungkook is quiet. He knows enough about basketball to hold a conversation but you know it’s never been his favorite thing in the world. Normally though, even if he isn’t particularly knowledgeable in the matter at hand, he would still act like he’s genuinely absorbed in whatever everyone was talking about, just to be friendly and sociable. He was always very good at networking; that’s why people loved him in college. From what you’ve seen, that trait carried over into adulthood as well. 
From the corner of your eye, you could see Jungkook fidget in his chair. He turns his head every once in a while to glance at you, which doesn’t go unnoticed by you, nor Yoongi for that matter. Yoongi nudges your knee with his own, prompting a curious look from you. He leans closer to your ear and lowers his voice so that nobody can hear.
“Jungkook looks like his butt is pretty clenched too.”
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Your grip on the pen loosens as you swirl it around absentmindedly, humming to yourself the melody off the page as if it’ll summon words to the sheet, where it’s mostly blank beneath all the squiggly music notes. The men – with the exception of Namjoon; he’s out for the day – gather around, discussing the first demo track. You drown most of it out. Your job here isn’t to wring out the kinks with the technical aspects anyway.
“We could record something for the rough demo today,” Yoongi thinks out loud.
“Today?” Jungkook asks as he arches an eyebrow. “For what track? We don’t have a single thing completely finished yet?”
“Buddy, are you a glass half empty kind of guy?” Yoongi jokes. “From what I see, we have at least four tracks halfway done. That’s enough for us to record.”
The younger man leans back in his chair and crosses his arms in front of his chest, highly annoyed but he still tries to keep a straight face and an even voice. It’s his first big project, and this fucking person is coming in and stepping all over his toes. To Jungkook, Yoongi is just some guy. He has never understood what the hype was about with Agust D, why he has always been a massive media darling and why everybody seems so enamored with him. Seokjin talks about him like Jungkook should feel so privileged to have the opportunity to work with such talent. Namjoon, his own freaking mentor, practically idolizes Yoongi. He almost passed out from glee when he heard that Yoongi would be coming on board. Even when the label was trying to get the rapper to sign with them, Jungkook never got what all the fuss was about.
It’s almost frustrating to watch people around him fawn over Yoongi like he hangs the moon in the sky. If you feel the same way about him, you don’t let it show, but Jungkook can tell that you admire and respect the guy a lot. He just can’t figure out what the deal is between you and Yoongi. Something is there. If not from your side then definitely from Yoongi’s. He seems too protective of you. Taehyung is the same way, and so are Jimin and Hoseok, but with them, Jungkook understands. They’ve been friends with you since forever, and he can’t imagine that your friendship with Yoongi can ever be that special.
“I disagree,” Jungkook asserts. “It’s a waste of time to make a demo now when we’d have to do it all over again later. At this point, all we’ll get is scraps. It wouldn’t help us get anywhere.”
Yoongi glances at Seokjin, who’s been watching but not really contributing, and they both share a look. It makes Jungkook want to get more fired up because he is supposed to be in charge here, but Yoongi is clearly more in tune with what Seokjin wants and how he operates. Jungkook will be the first one to say that he is not the best team player, but at least he tries. It usually works out just fine in the end, once he can get his ego out of the way to actually get something done, but this time it’s proving to be quite the challenge when it seems like Yoongi is constantly trying to hinder him.
“Jungkook, look.” Even the way he says his name is irritating. “I’ve been doing this way longer than you have, buddy. I was a producer before I became a rapper. I think I know what I’m doing here.”
“And I see why you would think this is a good idea, but I’m saying it’s a waste of time and effort to do this when we’ll just have to redo the whole process later. You want a summer release. We don’t have the time, and do we even have enough budget–”
Yoongi tilts his head to one side with an amused smile. “Are you sure this is the right business for you? Should you be in risk assessment instead? Why are you here worrying about budgets and timing? That’s the whole point of doing preliminary demos, to help you see what direction to take and guide the creative process–”
“Okay, okay. Retract the claws, fellas,” Seokjin jumps in this time. “I’m with Yoongi on this one, JK. Take it easy, man.”
Jungkook tongues his cheek and nods begrudgingly. He makes it seem like he’s taking it in stride, tucking his chagrin behind a mask of indifference. Yoongi shrugs with a triumphant grin, clasping his hands together as he gestures both Seokjin and Jungkook to the soundbooth.
“What?” The younger man stares at the other two. “You want me in there too?”
“Yeah, just to test some stuff out. You have a nice voice,” Yoongi admits, and even though he’s being genuine for once, Jungkook still feels like it’s condescending somehow. Anything that comes out of Yoongi’s mouth is patronizing to him. “Couldn’t hurt to see how it would sound like with Jin hyung. Maybe we could even use it later.”
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You’ve been trying to keep your head down and shut out all the sounds. Sounds of Jungkook fucking singing. Why did Min Yoongi have to force him into the box?
Back then, you used to tell him that he’s good enough to be a singer. He’d sing you to sleep whenever you were plagued with insomnia, or when you were sick, or just whenever you wanted him to. His voice always soothed you, made you feel warm all over. 
As if ignoring him today wasn’t difficult enough already.
“You’re bleeding.” You hear someone say a while later. 
Your head snaps up to see what’s going on. Somebody’s bleeding? How did that happen? But Seokjin and Jungkook are still in the booth, both looking at the paper that Jungkook is holding, talking to each other about something you can’t catch. You scan the room, brows furrowed, until you see Yoongi looking at you.
“Huh?” He points toward your hands. “You’re bleeding.”
Your eyes follow his line of sight until they land on what he’s staring at. You put the pen on the table and flex your hands. He’s exaggerating, they aren’t bleeding. Well, technically, they are if you count the reddened patches of cracked skin between your knuckles as bleeding. Your hands are just dry because the weather is cold. It happens. Dramatic Yoongi.
You wave him off with a smile. “Eh. It’s fine. I’ll put some lotion on it when I get home,” you lie. You don’t even have any hand cream. You’ve only tried using a dollop of body lotion on your hands once, but you didn’t like how your skin just felt so sticky afterward that it would leave visible prints when you touched your phone screen.
Yoongi shakes his head lightly. “No, you won’t. I’ve noticed that for a few days now.”
You level him with a look. “What are you, the hand police? It’s just dry hands. I’m not gonna die from that.”
“No, you‘re not,” Yoongi agrees, but regardless, he stands up and walks to retrieve his bag from where he left it on the couch. You watch with curiosity as he rummages through it until he pulls out a white tube of something. He crosses the distance to get to where you’re sitting and settles into the chair next to you. He reaches for your hands then, and says, “But do it for my sake. I don’t wanna look at your ugly witch's hands all day.”
“Yoongi!” you hiss, instantly scowling and failing to push him off when his stronger hand grasps one of your own. He pops open the tube and squeezes some of the cream onto your skin. “What are you doing?!”
“Hold still,” he says because you keep squirming. When the sheer weight of your glare on his face makes him look up at you, Yoongi actually glares back at you. Gasp. “Hold still,” he repeats firmly. 
You huff out a breath in annoyance. You glance at the booth to see if the guys are looking, but Seokjin still appears to be focused on the music sheet. You see and faintly hear him humming, his fingers tapping the air like he’s counting the beats. Jungkook, though… Jungkook is looking.
In the few seconds that your eyes meet his, you can tell that he’s trying to understand whatever the hell he’s watching here. You feel your cheeks heat up and you don’t really know if it’s because of Jungkook’s hard gaze on you or the feeling of Yoongi’s hands on your hands. You quickly turn away, missing the way the man in the booth pokes his tongue into a cheek.
You try to kick Yoongi in the shin but he manages to block your foot with his knee. He tuts at you disapprovingly. You watch him with a petulant frown as he rubs the cream into the back of your hand, between your knuckles, over each of your fingers. It feels expensive, though you would expect nothing less from Min Yoongi. The cream soaks into your skin right away, unlike that body lotion of yours that was obviously not made for this purpose. 
“You’re so overreacting over nothing,” you tell him.
“No, I’m not. Y/N, your hands were starting to look like coconut shavings,” he says casually, still focused on being your self-appointed hand masseuse it seems. “Is he looking?”
“What?”
“Jungkook,” Yoongi clarifies, his eyes darting up to your face for a brief second. “Is he looking?”
You exhale through your nose. “He was,” you say flatly, quite displeased with his shenanigans. “Yoongi, I told you not to do shit like this.”
His movements gradually slow. You don’t think there’s any more product on the surface left to absorb anyway. “I’m not doing this because of Jungkook, I promise,” he says, not pulling away just yet, letting his skin linger on yours. His head is still tilted downward, his gaze seemingly glued to where his thumb is swiping over your fingers. Jungkook used to do this too - absentmindedly playing with your fingers. It’s cute, and you hate to admit that the little things like this make you feel warm. You clench your jaw just once. Maybe it’s a guy’s thing.
For a moment, you actually think that he’s being sincere. About what, you don’t know. Then Yoongi looks up at you, eyes crinkling as he grins. “But pissing him off is definitely a huge plus.”
“You’re insufferable,” you tell Yoongi, rolling your eyes and shoving him away with your now moisturized hands. You gotta be honest, they do look and feel a lot better. Maybe you should pick some lotion up after work. You won’t tell Yoongi this, but you tried the exact one he just used on you a while back, in a store, and it smelled so good that you thought about it for two whole weeks. But when you saw the price tag, you immediately recoiled. It was one of the brands wherein the products were more expensive than the city’s median rent, so no wonder Yoongi would be the one to have something of theirs. Different tax brackets, you think.
Yoongi stumbles a little from your push. When he stands up, he takes one of your hands again, opening your palm and placing the tube there. “Use it every night before bed,” he instructs, like he’s a pharmacist and you’re just someone waiting to pick up their prescription.
“What?” You look at him, so serious and kind of offended. “Yoongi, I am not using your old shit!”
He sighs, wrapping your fingers around the tube so you would hold it there. “I don’t even use hand cream. I got that for you yesterday.”
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Jungkook is so done. It’s been such a long week and it’s only the first day of the fucking week. After feeling so utterly helpless around you, losing to Yoongi and then watching Yoongi have his little moment with you right in front of him, Jungkook fully intends to drive straight to Jimin’s and raid his liquor cabinet until he gets a grip and figures out what to do on the you front. Especially since you called him out like that.
Jungkook hasn’t been able to focus in over an hour, after you left to go home, but he’s still cognizant enough to save the bits that he and Seokjin recorded earlier. He has witnessed how pissed Namjoon can get when they lose files due to carelessness, and no matter how level-headed his mentor usually is even in the most stressful of situations, Jungkook absolutely does not want to be on the receiving end of Namjoon’s scoldings when the man lets anger get the best of him.
Jungkook glances at the corner that you usually occupy with your nose buried in your notebook. It’s so empty in here; everyone else has already left. He sits there, heavy with so many realizations all at once. It feels like college all over, only this time, he isn’t just a stupid kid with a crush and a weird way of showing affection. He’s hurting you again. No matter what he does, he just keeps making it worse for you and him.
You were right, and it must’ve taken a lot for you to say what you said to him. It was crazy, and foolish, and most of all cruel for Jungkook to think he could patch things up with a smile. He knew how devastated he left you. Didn’t need to see the mess he made to know how much it fucked you up. Didn’t need anyone to tell him – even though his friends all tried – to know how unbelievably heartless it was to abandon the person who loved him the most. But back then, he believed he was doing the right thing. That’s how he coped with it, by trusting that it was the best decision he could make at the time. 
He still remembers that day like it was merely 24 hours ago.
The obliviousness in your voice when he told you he was coming over to talk and you said you had exciting news to share. The way he had cried in the car on his way over, pulled himself together just long enough to say “I’m breaking up with you,” and watched your eager smile drop. He could practically feel your heart in his open palm, crumbling to nothing as he gave it back to you. Like he was saying “I don’t want it anymore.” He remembers crying again on the drive after.
Everything is different now, but if he could go back, even with the knowledge of the fallout, he would still choose to do the same.
There was no point in telling Jimin, Taehyung, Hoseok, or just about anyone, why he felt like he had to do it. They would’ve just called him stupid and told you. He’s sure that if you knew then, you would try to reason with him, maybe you would even beg. And if you had begged him to stay, then there was no way he could follow through.
Jungkook locks up the studio and leaves. When he passes Jihyo at the reception, he hears her call his name but he pretends that he doesn’t. He’s too tired for this tonight. He just wants a drink, and he just wants to see you even though you were with him all day. 
Skipping the parking lot for now, Jungkook walks to the nearby store, wanting to bring something over to Jimin’s or else the older man will just grumble at him for coming empty handed. When he rounds the corner, he sees you walking by yourself in the small park across the street. Your hands are shoved in your pockets while you stare up at the starless night. Jungkook thinks you should belong in a painting.
He stands there curiously. If you looked straight ahead, you would see him. But you seem preoccupied with the clouds floating through the dark blue, too lost in thought to notice much. Your hand comes up when something lands on your face. A second later, Jungkook feels something wet and cold against his cheek too. He remembers.
He pulls out his phone, fiddles with it for a minute as he contemplates, and ultimately decides to tap on your name in his contacts. Pressing the device against his ear, he listens to it ring, and watches you fish your own phone from your bag. He takes note of the furrow between your brows, the fleeting clench of your teeth. He almost thinks you wouldn’t pick up, but you do.
“Hello?” you answer uncertainly. 
“Hey,” Jungkook says, “where are you?”
“Uhm…” There’s a pause. He wonders if you would lie. “Just out getting some air. What’s wrong?”
“Nothing. I’m just… in front of you right now.”
Confusion overtakes your features. When your gaze crosses the street to land on him, you let out a small Oh, and give him a small awkward wave. He ends the call and rushes over, even though he doesn’t know what to say to you. He watches you wince, because you always hated whenever he jaywalked. It makes him smile a little.
“Hi,” you say as Jungkook stands in front of you.
“Hi,” he returns. “Mind if I join you?”
You stare up at him for a few seconds before deciding, “Yeah, sure.”
“What are you still doing here? You left like two hours ago,” he says. You walk together further into the park, where lonely lamp posts dimly light your path.
You shrug. “I went to get dinner and just… I don’t know. Felt like I could use some fresh air.”
“In this weather? It’s snowing.”
You both watch the breath that you huff out. “Well, it didn’t start snowing until you got here.”
The first snow, or just snow in general, is never as romantic as they make it seem in the movies. Sure it’s pretty, and when the ground is covered in a thick blanket of snow, it makes for a good Instagram story. But in reality? Snow is so fucking dirty, and when it starts melting, it is absolute hell for everybody. Your weather app didn’t say that it would snow today, but you should’ve known better than to trust that damn thing.
Jungkook hums, and silence falls over you like the snow, making everything so damp and gross. You hope it stops soon.
When some snowflakes land directly on your cheek, you wipe the moisture away with mild annoyance. “I hate snow,” you grumble, pulling your scarf tighter. If you had known that it would snow, you would’ve worn something with a hood and your sturdier boots.
Jungkook chuckles lightly as he watches you hiss when some snowflakes land on your head, startling your skin with its frost and slowly dampening your hair. “You don’t hate it,” he says. “You just hate it when you’re walking in the snow. I know you.”
The universe doesn’t give you time to dwell on that last comment. The ground beneath you turns slippery as you keep walking. You yelp loudly when your sneaker-clad feet skid on the thin ice sheet that the snow has created. You’re fully prepared for your ass to hit the pavement and consequently bruise in about half an hour, but Jungkook catches you with both hands on your waist, pulling you flush against him so you don’t hit the ground. Unlike you, his shoes have more traction.
Your heart hammers from the suddenness of the last thirty seconds. You can see each heavy breath that leaves your mouth and promptly dissipates into the cold air. You don’t realize that your hands are gripping his shoulders to help steady yourself, as if he doesn’t already have his arms wrapped securely around you, and you realize then that wow, this is the closest he’s been to you in years. It’s unbearable just how much you’ve missed being in his arms.
Just two people on an empty street, tangled up in each other, the falling snow your only audience – you look like you’ve landed yourself right in a romance drama, but in reality, this is anything but that.
You clear your throat and shuffle backward, out of his strong hold, careful not to trip and make a fool of yourself any more than you already have. “Thanks,” you say. “I should head home. It’s getting late.”
Jungkook nods. “Do you want to walk back to the company? I can give you a ride home.”
You consider this. The street is steadily being swallowed up by layers of white, and you don’t doubt that it will only be more difficult to navigate the road by yourself as the night gets darker and colder. Cabs are running more sparsely. It would take you forever to get home, especially in weather that makes you feel like a calf learning to walk for the first time.
“Yeah,” you agree, “sure, okay.”
The walk back to the building’s parking lot is mostly silent, and so is the ride to your apartment. You’ve never felt the first snow on your skin before, having always preferred to stay indoors on nights forecasted to experience snowfall. There’s something so wistful about witnessing the inauguration of winter yourself, how these delicate flowers of ice not only herald the ending of a season and the beginning of a new one, but also signal that another chapter of your life is about to close forever. It prompts you to mull over the last 12 months, to see if you’ve accomplished anything you set out to achieve or if you’ve wasted an entire year of your life. To share a moment like this with Jungkook makes you wonder if the universe is trying to send you a sign.
When the car stops at a red light a few blocks away from your place, you take the time to watch the snowflakes twirling outside the window. They wander in front of you, free yet aimless, like they’re asking if they could come in and seek refuge from the freezing cold. Not knowing warmth would be the thing that kills them. Adrift with the gentle wind until they land on the glass, only to die a mere second later. You break the silence.
“It’s kinda nice now,” you say, eyeing the marshmallow-looking ice that’s starting to pile up all around while you’re sheltered by the warmth of his car.
“See?” Jungkook chuckles. “Told you you only hate snow when you have to walk in it.”
“Hmm.” It’s true. You don’t want to admit it, but he did know you. Knew what drove you and what made you tick. Knew how your brain worked and how your heart moved. Knew that you loved him long before you could say it out loud.
Even when you lied that he doesn’t know you anymore, deep down you’re very well aware that he still does. 
“Can I ask you this one thing, though?” you say calmly, but something must alert him that you aren’t looking to talk about the weather or some other meaningless shit. Jungkook doesn’t give you a verbal answer, nor any other indication that you can go ahead and voice your question. He just looks at you before the light turns green, like he doesn’t really want you to ask anything but he has no other choice but to let you. Like he’s scared of what you might demand from him.
It’s okay. You weren’t asking for permission anyway.
“Did I…” love you enough? Was there a single moment where you thought I didn’t love you? “Back then,” you swallow, keeping your eyes on the snowy streets that turn into ivory blurs as the car starts moving again, “did I ever make you feel like you weren’t enough?”
Your ears don’t pick up on much sound in the infinite pocket of seconds that follows. Not the low hum of the car’s radiator, nor the wind that becomes harsher right outside the window. Just his breathing and the beat of your own heart, drowning in the anticipation of his answer.
What if he says yes? Would it mean that after all this time that you spent blaming him, it’s been your fault all along? Were you the one that drove him away?
“No,” he says, interrupting that voice in your head. “Not once.”
You don’t doubt that he’s telling you the truth, but it doesn’t make you feel better. His tone tells you there’s more than he’s letting on, but it doesn’t matter now. Before Friday night, Taehyung had asked if you would ask Jungkook the question, and after some consideration, you had said no. Maybe if it were a couple of years ago, or even a few months back when you saw him again, you would have said yes. You used to think that if he ever came back for whatever reason, the first thing you would ask him is why. You would confront him, demand an answer, make him walk you through every single thought he had before he decided to ruin your life.
But no answer could change the fact that he did leave. There is no excuse good enough to justify how he left you so completely crushed. Sure, knowing would give you some of the closure that you were desperately seeking at one point, but what if it makes everything worse? What if he left because he was looking for something, something more than you could give? What if he found it, only to realize then that it wasn’t worth leaving you for after all?
Now, at least you know that your efforts were felt. You did the best you could, loved him the best way you knew how. 
The man beside you clears his throat. You only notice now that Jungkook has already pulled up in front of your building. You haven’t spoken much before tonight, not about what happened at Jimin’s party. You weren’t sure how to bring it up, or if you should even bring it up. He seemed like he was trying to avoid the topic too. You had the weekend to relive every moment of that night over and over, and you obviously don’t want to talk about it, but you have to address it sooner or later if you want to move forward in peace. 
“Hey, uhm, about the other night…” you start.
He stiffens a bit, and then sighs. “I know,” he says. “You were right. It’s not fair of me to–”
“I’m sorry,” you cut him off firmly. “Some of the things I said were harsh, and I’m sorry.”
Jungkook looks at you in surprise. His ears must deceive him, because, “Why are you apologizing?”
“I told you. I was harsh and it was uncalled for.”
“No, it wasn’t,” he says, frowning. He twists his body to face you. “I deserved it. You were right to call me out. Don’t backtrack.”
You stare at him with your lips pursed. “Why are you trying to argue right now?”
“Because I deserve your rage. Be mad at me.”
“I am mad at you,” you tell him but there’s no bite. You’re softening, loosening your grip while he’s the only one trying to hold on. “But I don’t want to be anymore.”
“Why not? You should. You have every right.”
“Jungkook, it’s been five years,” you chuckle without much humor, thinking back to what you’ve been doing in the last half a decade. Stalking your ex online, mourning your lost love every time he gets into a new relationship, holding out hope. And for what? What’s the point of it all? It’s not like you and him are going to get back together again. It’s a waste of time, time that you could spend trying to let him go and move on, whether he gives you that closure or not. “I’m tired and I just want to get on with my life. I don’t want to keep being bitter about it. What good will that do?”
His face is so serious all of a sudden, like he wants you to actually scream at him. Curse him out. Anything. “Then what do you want me to do?”
“Don’t feel like you have to make amends, or do anything right by me. Can we just, I don’t know, let the past remain in the past? I don’t want to make our friends feel like they have to act a certain way around me when it comes to you. It’s my problem, not theirs. I don’t want to make them uncomfortable anymore. So please, I’m not asking for anything else. I just want us all to… move forward.”
It’s then that he sees, oh, maybe you do belong in a painting. Sitting right in front of him but you’re so far away. He was once the artist but now, he’s merely a spectator.  “Do you mean that?” he asks quietly.
“Yes, Jungkook. I’m really tired,” you say. “Why would you of all people want to be reminded of what happened?”
He swallows thickly. You can tell that he isn’t too fond of the idea, even if what you’re proposing gives him a way out. It lets him off the hook. But for some reason, he’s hesitant to take it, might be resisting it even. You can’t bring yourself to understand why, but eventually, he says, “Okay. If that’s what you really want.”
He doesn’t put up much of a fight, though it doesn’t exactly sound like an affirmation, but who even cares?
“Right, then,” you mumble, unbuckling your seatbelt and gripping the strap of your bag. “Good night. See you tomorrow.”
He says it back, and lets you go with a strained smile.
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Yoongi’s fingers tap on his knees to the beat of the music playing in the background. You were surprised when he called you on a Saturday, asking if you were free, telling you that he had something to say. You didn’t have any plans and Yoongi said he was treating you, and well, you don’t need to be convinced further.
Here you are, in a fancy restaurant, sharing a tiramisu with Min Yoongi. How nice. You thought he’d have better plans than just hanging out with little old you.
“Will you please just tell me now?” you say, looking at him with playful puppy dog eyes. You take another bite of the dessert, and practically have to stifle a moan when the sweetness melts in your mouth. You honestly think you have romantic feelings for this tiramisu. “I’ve been waiting for like two hours.” 
Yoongi swirls the wine in his glass before he brings it to his lips and takes a sip, all the while looking at you, so happy with the treat that you’re supposed to share but he doesn’t even touch. When he sets his glass down, he calls your name, making you glance up. 
“Do you still… y’know… Jungkook?”
You stare at him back, confused. “Do I still I know Jungkook?”
Yoongi rolls his eyes. “Don’t make me spell it out. You’ll just beat me if I say it.”
“Oh, so it’s something annoying then? Then please, keep it to yourself.”
“Okay, then,” he says, smiling so obnoxiously because he knows you’re too curious.
Give it a minute.
“Oh my god, fine,” you give up, drawing out the sentence exasperatedly. “Do I still what Jungkook?”
Yoongi regards your face teasingly. “Do you still have feelings for him?”
Your entire body goes rigid. You don’t even try to hide the way your face falls upon hearing his question. What’s the point? He’ll just see right through you anyway.
“You took me out to dinner just to ask me that?”
He nods. “Yeah, among other things.”
“I mean…” You set down your spoon. No one has ever asked you that before, and it’s not a question that you yourself have considered. Jungkook still affects you, that much is clear. Thinking about your relationship still affects you. Does that mean that you have lingering feelings for him? You’ve yet to solve this, and truth be told, you aren’t sure if you would like the conclusion it leads you to. You give Yoongi a vague answer, because even you yourself don’t know what the truth is. But it doesn’t matter, now that you’ve made the active decision to let it all go. “I’m trying to move on.”
“Hmm.” He doesn’t seem very satisfied with your choice of words. “Do you still hate him then?”
This, you don’t really need to ruminate much on. “I think part of me will always hate him for what he did.” And part of you will always love him in spite of what he did.
Yoongi leans forward with both of his arms on the table, contemplating how he should word this. You deserve flowery words and romantic grand gestures, but alas Yoongi is blunt, and sometimes rough around the edges. He has great timing too. Just as you raise a glass of water to your mouth to soothe your dry throat, he says, “Let me be your revenge dick.”
It makes you choke, sending water down every wrong pipe as you cough harshly. It dribbles down your chin and a few drops plop! onto your light wash jeans. You’re glad it wasn’t wine. You would’ve killed him if he made you stain your newly bought trousers. While you try to hold onto dear life, he has the audacity to fucking laugh. When you kick his shin under the table, he hands you a few napkins. It takes you another minute to calm down.
“What the actual fuck?” you hiss. The little “incident” earns you a few weird looks from people sitting nearby. It’s so embarrassing, but Yoongi is acting like it’s the funniest shit he’s ever seen.
“Let me be your revenge d–”
“I heard you the first time, Jesus Christ. Please don’t say the word “dick” to me ever again. In fact, please stop talking altogether. Please don’t open your mouth ever again.”
He does not abide by your request, opening his stupid mouth again and thus cementing his place as your least favorite person in the entire world right this minute. You lost half your brain cells listening to that one singular sentence. Jesus fucking God. Who in their right mind would utter something like that? And to you, no less? Fuck. Men.
One of these days, you swear you will pop an aneurysm. It’s so ridiculous that it’s not even funny. But Yoongi just keeps talking like you’re asking him to elaborate.
“What I’m saying is… use me.”
“For what?” You’re genuinely so perplexed as to what the point of this conversation is, or where it’s even going. This man has a way of surprising you more and more each day.
“For revenge dicking purposes.”
You do your best to suppress a shudder. Where did that term even come from? “Oh my god, why do you keep saying that? We’re in public! What if someone hears you?!” 
The man sitting across from you grins, showcasing his pearly whites, clearly very amused by your reactions. “You gotta show Jungkook what he’s missing. Make him regret it.”
“Min Yoongi,” you say slowly. “Are you fucking kidding me right now?”
“No. In fact, I don’t think I’ve ever been this serious,” Yoongi answers. “Let me be your arm candy. I’m very good at that.” You’re very curious about who raised him and how he turned out to be this way. You can’t believe you have to tolerate him sometimes.
You give it another minute before you say, “I’ll have you know that Jungkook and I had a very productive talk. We’re in a much better place now, so your… whatever services won’t be necessary.”
He leans back, eases up, and stares at you thoughtfully. Like he doesn’t really believe you. Like the cogs of his mind are once again turning. “Okay, that’s even better. I don’t have to be the rebound. I can just be your main piece.”
Looking at him pleadingly, you bemoan, “Yoongi, why are you doing this to me?”
“Isn’t it obvious?”
“It absolutely is not obvious!”
“Seriously?”
You cross your arms, raising an annoyed eyebrow at the man. “Listen, I don’t know what kind of people you’re hanging out with, but my friends don’t go around offering to–”
“Because I like you.”
You could practically facepalm. As he stares at you, not even blinking anymore, you reach for the salt shaker on the table to pour some onto your hand. When he opens his mouth to ask what you’re doing, you flick the miniscule white crystals in his direction. 
“Wha–”
“Yoongi, I can’t believe you wasted a whole evening for that lame ass joke.”
“Did you really just…” He throws his head back, laughing in both disbelief and amusement. “Wow. You tell a girl you like her and she throws salt at you. That’s definitely a first for me.”
“It’s not funny. Stop saying that.”
“Stop saying what?”
“Stop saying you like me!”
“But I do like you,” he says, voice softer now. “I’ve always liked you.”
You mentally groan, sucking your teeth before you reach for the salt again. He grabs your wrist before you could hold it up. 
“Quit it and listen to me. I’m serious.”
When you look at Yoongi, he’s wearing an expression you don’t think you’ve often seen, or ever seen before. There’s no trace of that familiar teasing smile that’s almost always on his lips, nor the mischievous glint in his eyes that he usually sports. This side of Yoongi is new to you. This side of Yoongi makes you hold your breath for some reason.
For a second there, you believe what he’s saying.
“Come on. You’re taking this too far.”
“Why do you keep thinking this is a joke? You know I would never do that, Y/N.”
You pull your hand back to pinch the bridge of your nose. “Because you keep using me to mess with Jungkook even though I’ve asked you multiple times to–”
“Can you not mention his name?” Yoongi straightens in his chair. This is the closest he’s ever come to being annoyed with you. “I’m trying to tell you how I feel and you’re thinking about Jungkook.”
You liked it better when he was cocky about it.
“You can’t possibly be serious right now.”
Yoongi purses his lips, his eyes telling you that he’s irritated with you too, only he’s much better at containing his frustration. You both stare at each other for god knows how long because neither one of you understands what the other is trying to say.
When Yoongi speaks next, his voice is so calm, so low that it makes your spine run cold.
“You were always so oblivious.”
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“Oh my god, pick up, pick up, pick up,” you mutter to yourself like a deranged person on the sidewalk, telepathically urging Taehyung to answer the phone before you’ve even called him. His phone filters through your speaker after the third ring. Kim Taehyung, always so quick to answer your calls.
“What’s u–”
“Oh my god, Kim Taehyung, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, you will not believe what just happened,” you rush out in one breath. “Where are you? Are you at home? I’ll come to you. Oh my god!”
“Jesus, did you mix coffee with Red Bull again? Slow down,” Taehyung says. “I’m at Jimin’s now.”
“Oh? Okay.” This is even better. Jimin’s apartment is much closer to the restaurant than Taehyung’s place is. “Is it boys’ night? Nevermind. Doesn’t matter. I’ll come over right now. Be there in 15!”
“What? Wait, Y/N, no, Ju–!”
You hang up before he can say anything else. You bounce on your heels as you flag down a cab, so awfully restless and you just want to tell someone. On the ride over, the driver keeps glancing at you through the rearview mirror every few seconds; your nervous energy must have infected him because you look like you just found out that someone is freaking dying. When you arrive at your destination, you take a deep breath before you hurry up the stairs. Jimin’s building is old and has no elevator, which normally sucks because he lives on the fifth floor and you absolutely despise stairs. But right now, you have so much adrenaline coursing through your veins that five flights feel like a piece of cake.
You have no doubt that the men inside know it’s you from the way you ring his doorbell repeatedly. Jimin opens the door with an exasperated look, to which you pay no mind and just press a quick kiss against his cheek in greeting before you barge into his home in search of Taehyung.
“Kim Taehyung! Where are you? This is an emergency, I need y–!”
When you do find him, however, he isn’t alone. Sitting next to Taehyung on the couch and holding a bottle of beer to his lips, is none other than Jungkook. You all look at each other awkwardly as the words die on your tongue, killing some of the nerves while you bite your lip to keep your mouth shut. Jimin waddles into the living room after he shuts down the door and plops down next to Jungkook. Now there are three pairs of eyes on you.
“Oh, uhm, hi,” you say to Jungkook. “I didn’t know you were here.”
“Hi,” he says, and offers you a beer on the table. “Want one?”
What you said to Yoongi at dinner wasn’t exactly untrue. You and Jungkook are kind of in a better place now. In the last few days, since you had your little chat in his car, he’s let up on the crap that he was pulling before. Something still feels off to you though. Feels like his head isn’t really in it, that he’s still doing this for the sake of trying to ease his guilt by going along with what he thinks makes you happy. Whatever. It’s at least a little progress, you suppose.
“No, that’s fine.” You wave Jungkook off before inching closer to Taehyung and pulling him up by the arm. “Uhm, I just needed to talk to Tae and I’ll be on my way!”
You drag your friend into the guest bedroom that Jimin has recently turned into an office, all the while ignoring his shout of “This better be good! Don’t forget to tell me later!” as you shut the door.
You glare at Taehyung. “Okay, why didn’t you tell me that Jungkook was here?”
“I tried to!” He raises his hands in surrender. “You hung up on me. I texted you about it.”
You rummage through your bag for the phone that you so hastily shoved in there before getting into the taxi. The notification on your screen glares back at you.
[21:42] Taebear 🐻: jungkook is here btw. dunno if you’re cool with that
“Right…” you mutter. “My bad.”
“Well?” Taehyung prompts, then his face turns worried as he gives you a once-over. “What happened? What’s wrong?”
You inhale deeply, holding onto his wrists and staring him dead in the eye. Even with the door closed and with Jungkook and Jimin all the way in the living room, you keep your voice low. “I think I just got propositioned.”
Your friend blinks slowly, or rather, he closes his eyes for five whole seconds before he opens them. Taehyung visibly relaxes when he comprehends that you are, in fact, okay and healthy, and that you’re just being overly dramatic.
He pushes your hands away. “Fuck off. I thought something bad happened.”
“Something bad did happen!”
“You are literally the worst person.”
“I’m serious!”
He groans and looks at you like a disappointed parent. “Fine,” he relents, “what happened?”
“I think Yoongi sort of pimped himself out to me today.”
Taehyung opens his mouth, closes it, and does it again a few times. “You can’t just say that and not elaborate.”
“He said he likes me.”
There comes that slow-ass, neverending blink again. Taehyung looks like the meme, like he’s seeing the world in nothing but equations.
“I fail to see how that would be considered pimping oneself out.”
“Well, you have to hear what he said after–”
A mop of fluffy blond hair materializes out of thin air, startling you both. You didn’t even hear him come in. That sneaky little thing. “What are we talking about?” Jimin asks, lowering his volume to match yours. “Why are we whispering?”
“Why are you here?” You look behind him at the door that he left ajar. “Where’s Jungkook?”
“He’s in the living room.”
“By himself?”
“Well, there’s no one else here, so duh.”
You exhale exasperatedly. “Now it’s gonna look like we’re talking about him.”
“Aren’t we?”
“We’re talking about Yoongi,” Taehyung says, casting his eyes to the ground briefly.
“Yoongi?” Jimin asks, glancing between you and Taehyung with a slight frown. “Your Yoongi?”
You raise an eyebrow in question. “What do you mean my Yoongi? There’s only one Yoongi. He’s the Yoongi.”
“Okay. So what’s up with the Yoongi?”
Taehyung turns to his wonder twin with an unamused look. “She’s doing that annoying thing where she gives you a single detail of the story and you have to ask her to keep going every time.”
Blondie makes a face. “Oof, yeah, that’s annoying. Don’t do that.”
You gape at the two of them. “I’m giving you tea and you’re complaining about my storytelling skills?”
You should’ve expected it, should’ve known what was coming the second that question left your mouth. The guys don’t even need to look at each other to be in sync when they echo, “Yes.”
“But seriously,” Jimin says, “what about Yoongi?”
“We went to dinner tonight and he… said he likes me…” you tell him, and physically recoil at the memory. Oh… the horror. “And he said, oh my god I can’t even repeat it without wanting to jump off a bridge, he said to let him be my revenge dick.”
Jimin gasps. Taehyung chokes on his own spit. They both sputter out, “What the fuck?”
“Right?!” you cry, still so fucking mortified by the experience. “I almost died just sitting there. I can’t believe he made me listen to that with my own two ears.”
Taehyung is the first one to turn serious. “What happened after that though?” You don’t know what you would do sometimes if there wasn’t a Kim Taehyung to ground you.
“Well, I came here.”
“So…” he drags out the single word, “you ran away from him?”
Jimin looks at you expectantly too, wearing the same question in his eyes. You frown at them. “What? No. I threw salt on him and told him to stop fucking around and then I lef– Oh my god, I did run away.”
Shit.
Shit.
“Hold up, what the fuck,” Jimin cackles, like this is all just so funny. “You threw salt on him?”
You let out a nervous laugh, and point finger guns at your friends idiotically. “But it’s fine. Because obviously he didn’t mean it.”
“Why would you think he didn’t mean it?” Taehyung asks.
“He’s an annoying little shit sometimes! And,” you keep your volume under control again, “he hates Jungkook. He’s only doing it to piss him off.”
Taehyung purses his lips, regards you with a look you don’t like because you’re trying to sort through this logically, convince yourself that it isn’t real and that Yoongi is just missing April Fool’s day by four whole months. Why is your friend making this more difficult?
“Is it so hard to believe that someone can like you?”
“Yes,” you say seriously, “when that person is Yoongi.”
“Why?”
“Because he’s Yoongi!” You throw your hands up. “He’s not like us.”
“I hate to break it to you, but celebrities aren’t above having crushes.”
You look at Jimin for help, but he just shrugs, choosing silence as the neutral option or maybe staying silent is just his way of agreeing with Taehyung. This isn’t the reaction you expected when you rushed here to give him the goss. Taehyung doesn’t blindly support your every decision or try to rationalize your every move just because he’s your friend. He tells you to your face when you’re being absurd, so you really don’t get why he’s the one being unreasonable right now.
“Oh my god, please,” you say. “Yoongi absolutely does not have a crush on me.”
Jimin chimes in. “Well, he did literally just admit that to you.”
You send him a glare that says, Oh, so now you’re talking?
You turn to Taehyung again. You can’t believe this is happening. Are you two really arguing? About whether or not Yoongi actually likes you? While Jungkook is sitting by himself in another room? You bet nobody has this on their bingo card.
“I told you. He’s just trying to fuck with Jungkook.”
“Why do you keep saying that? Why do you think he’s trying to fuck with Jungkook?” Taehyung challenges.
“Because he’s my friend!” you groan. It’s the most obvious thing in the world, but no one seems to believe that Yoongi is just your friend. “You’re my friend too. But you’re being so fucking annoying now.”
He narrows his eyes at you, as if to prove a point. “Yoongi is that good of a friend that he would go out of his way to mess with someone he hadn’t even met until a couple weeks ago?”
“I– well– maybe!” you stammer, blinking up at him. The height difference is clearly not doing you any good. “He’s a very petty person. And when he isn’t being a little shit, he can be a very good friend.”
Taehyung scoffs, seriously getting on your nerves. It isn’t even any of his business. You just wanted to tell him for the sake of sharing with your best friend, not ask for his opinion on any of it. He doesn’t even know Yoongi, never even met him.
“I know what people are like when they’re in love with you,” Taehyung mutters, eyeing the ground. Jimin makes a noise and nudges his friend in the rib, shaking his head while he does so.
 You, petty little you, want to fire back. “Oh, so Yoongi is in love with me now?”
Taehyung opens his mouth, prepared to continue his assault on your sanity when Jimin has to step in, waving his hands in front of you both. “Alright, that’s enough,” he says. “Why don’t we just call it a night and let’s reconvene when everybody is thinking straight, yeah?”
Taehyung doesn’t even look at you. You try to release your frustrations through a loud exhale, but it doesn’t do much. When all of you venture out into the living room to leave, you remember that Jungkook is still here. He looks at yours and Taehyung’s disgruntled expressions, then at Jimin’s face as he not-so-subtly shakes his head, silently telling him to not ask any questions. Poor guy, this was boys’ night after all. You couldn’t have spent more than 30 minutes in Jimin’s office. He was just quietly drinking his beer and watching TV out here, unaware of everything going on in the room just down the hall. Now everybody seems pissed and the night is spoiled.
You bid Jungkook and Jimin a curt goodnight before you head for the door, saying nothing to Taehyung because he clearly doesn’t deserve any pleasantries after tonight. You end up going home with more questions than answers.
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You hate this. You hate it so much.
Now that you’re finally starting to actually coexist with Jungkook – of all people! – the other men in your life have to come for your head?
You haven’t spoken to Taehyung since that night, which was only three days ago, but still. It’s the longest you’ve gone without talking to your best friend. You don’t know what was up his ass, and Jimin has just been telling you to not overthink it, that Taehyung will reach out when he’s calmed down. It makes zero sense to you, because how does your situation affect him in any way? What does he even have to calm down from?
With Yoongi, on the other hand… Well, you’re still convinced that he was just being good old insufferable Yoongi. This is how he has always been – teasing, easy going, and has a good rapport with you. That night was just a fluke. Maybe he had too much to drink and didn’t know when to stop the joke from getting too carried away.
You are not fighting with Yoongi. You are not fighting with Yoongi. You remind yourself of this, so that when you see him in the studio next, everything is okay.
Yoongi arrives some time after lunch and brings everybody coffee. You expect him to be lighthearted as always, which he is, and you expect him to sit next to you as always, which he does. He laughs with Seokjin, chats with Namjoon about the art scene, pokes “friendly” fun at Jungkook every now and then. You two work side by side, bouncing ideas off each other like you normally do. He doesn’t mention the dinner, which makes you feel a whole lot better about that night because see? Everything is fine. If everything is fine with Yoongi then everything is fine with Taehyung too.
Some time around 5pm, Yoongi asks if you should all go out for drinks tonight. He gets shot down by the guys though. Apparently no one is up for after-work drinks on a Tuesday night.
“You’re no fun,” Yoongi grumbles before turning to you with hopeful eyes. “Y/N?” he whines, “Indulge me like you usually do, please?”
“No, thanks,” you decline. You glance up in time to see Jungkook quietly chuckling to himself. “Today is my self-care day.”
“Tuesday is your self-care day?”
“Because tomorrow is Wednesday. I have a pre-Wednesday routine.”
“Did I ever tell you that you’re very weird about Wednesdays?” Seokjin asks.
You hum in thought for a moment before answering him. “You did. And then you told me a really bad dad joke.”
He makes an exasperated Ahh noise as he recalls the very moment, then blasts his booming windshield wiper laugh when he remembers the joke he made. “Hey, that joke was killer!”
“It absolutely was not! The only decent one that I’ve heard from you is–”
“No, no, hey,” Yoongi cuts in, “don’t entertain him and his stupid jokes. Come onnn, you know I hate drinking alone. Go for a drink with me, princess. You used to be my drinking buddy all the time.”
“Uh huh,” you scoff. “And look where drinking with you got me.”
“I allow fraternizing in the workplace as long as I’m still the priority, guys,” Seokjin chirps in. 
“That’s not what I meant,” you say quickly. “No one is fraternizing with anybody!”
Yoongi hums quietly. He drops his volume, just for your ears. “No? Is that your answer then?”
“What?” you whisper. You don’t know why you’re whispering. You just do it because Yoongi is doing it.
“You kinda ran out on me the other night.”
“I didn’t–”
He gives you a look.
“Okay, maybe I did… but only because you were being ridiculous!”
Yoongi licks his lips and tips his head toward the door. He’s the first one to stand up and head out of the room, followed by you half a minute later. You appreciate him wanting some privacy for you two to talk, but you don’t like that this is a conversation that needs privacy. You were all just joking around in there. If this is still a joke, why is he leading you out here?
Walking out the door, you hear Seokjin call after you, “Fraternizing!”
“That is not what’s happening!”
You find Yoongi in the empty breakroom, leaning against a counter.
“You can drop it now, Yoongi,” you say.
“What?” he tilts his head, looking at you curiously. “You still think I’m messing around?”
“Obviously.”
“Why is that?” he asks. “What makes that so hard to believe?”
It’s what Taehyung asked you the other night too.
Because you’re you! is what you almost say. It’s the same answer you gave Taehyung, because, well, do you even need another explanation? You don’t tell him that though, thinking it might offend him somehow. Instead, you throw him a question.
“Okay. Sure. Let’s say that you are serious. What happened? When did you even start liking me? Why are you telling me now?”
Yoongi exhales gently, straightening up to walk closer to where you are. He stops when he’s right in front of you, looking right into your eyes and using the same voice he did that night. “I always liked you. I liked you last year when we first worked together and I like you now. The only difference is then, you weren’t trying to move on,” he says, so unwavering that it makes you stagger.
That… is not what you were expecting. You blink up as he smiles down at you fondly. You feel lightheaded. Maybe even scared, because what if he means it? He sounds too sincere for it to just be all fun and games. You remember the way he held your hand when he made you put on that stupid fancy lotion.
His voice keeps lowering, and you hate that it makes you nervous. Your stomach twists, your heart pounds against your ribs.
“If you’re moving on now, can’t you do it with me?”
Looking back now, were there signs that you should have noticed?
You stand there, processing, not knowing what you should say to him, not really even breathing anymore. Yoongi must interpret your silence as realization, recognition, because he chuckles, again amused by your reaction.
“Yoongi…”
He stops you, though you weren’t going to say anything else. You feel like you could cry. Maybe he sees it in your eyes. Yoongi pats your arm gently, still smiling. “I’ll let you sleep on it, princess.”
When he leaves the room, you keep standing there by yourself. So Taehyung was right? Your friend who has never had a single interaction with Yoongi, who has only heard about him from the stories you shared, could tell that there was something there? That Yoongi had feelings for you all along?
At the dinner, Yoongi said you were always oblivious.
Is it possible that you really had no idea, or did you just force yourself to look the other way?
That night, was he hurt? After you repeatedly dismissed him and eventually walked out?
Oh, Yoongi…
When someone enters the room after you’ve been standing here for what feels like forever, navigating the sea of your own thoughts, you startle to life.
“You okay?” Jungkook asks, eyeing you as he goes to fix himself a cup of coffee.
“Yep, mhmm,” you respond. You try to shove away all of your unraveling emotions. They could wait until later.
You have no idea why you’re still standing here, watching Jungkook make coffee with his back to you, but that’s arguably a better idea right now than to go back to the studio where Yoongi is. 
“You know,” Jungkook starts, pressing the buttons on the fancy coffee machine that you don’t know how to use. “I don’t think it’s very professional. Y’know, Yoongi flirting with you all the time.”
You stare at his broad shoulders with your brows furrowed, already on edge even though you don’t know what he’s referring to.
“What?”
“I don’t think it’s professional,” he repeats. “Yoongi flirting with you all the time.”
“When has Yoongi ever flirted with me?” you ask. It’s meant to sound sarcastic and defensive, hoping he’ll take the hint to back off but really, now that you’ve said it, it’s a question that you yourself would genuinely like the answer to.
“Admit it,” Jungkook says, turning around to face you. “It’s not like he tries to be very subtle about it. All the nicknames, always complimenting you, even when he put his hands all over you the other day right in front of us! There’s no way that you’ve missed the way he looks at you sometimes.”
You blink a few times, not sure if you heard him right. You hope your brief silence gives him a chance to backtrack when he sees how offended you are, but he just stares at you. Jungkook really does have the worst timing, and it doesn’t take long for your anger to overflow. Moving forward together in peace lasted a whole week, huh?
“Even if Yoongi is flirting with me, how is it any of your business?”
“It kinda is my business, though, isn’t it? Considering he does it at my place of work.”
Oh, he’s gotta be kidding. 
“Okay, it’s your place of work,” you hiss. The steam rising from his fresh mug of coffee might as well resemble the cartoon-like smoke churning from the top of your head. Jungkook seems taken aback by your reaction, but honestly, what the hell did he even expect when he said something like that to you? “So you fucking the receptionist must be so professional, right?”
Paling about a hundred shades, he looks like you just poured a bucket of ice cold water over his head. The gulping throat, the parting lips, the guilty eyes and his whole demeanor exuding shock and embarrassment, because Jungkook didn’t know that you knew, let alone foresee that you would throw it in his face. He stands there, dumbfoundedly muttering, “How– Who told you about that?”
You ignore his question. Why does it even matter who told you? If you were less angry, you would be more curious as to how he thought this was going to go. Why would he say something like that out of nowhere? 
He said he deserved your rage? He wanted you to be mad? Fine. Be careful what you wish for.
You feel sick to your stomach and he would come to you and say shit like that. Like Jungkook can dictate anything about your life. Like he has the right to fuck things up and leave when he’s had his fun.
Your sinuses burn when you speak next. “You don’t see me running to you, whining about how Jihyo always looks at me like she wants to gouge my fucking eyes out. How she’s always so nice and bubbly to everyone but then when it’s me, she acts like I ran over her fucking dog.”
Yeah, he definitely wasn’t expecting this reaction.
“Y/N, I’m sorry, I didn’t–”
“No, just save it. You talk a big game about trying to do right by me and then you go and say shit like this. How many times do I have to tell you? I’m so fucking tired.”
People often say that you should never make decisions when you’re angry. No one wants to end up regretting something they said or did in the heat of the moment. You’ve always thought that this is good advice, and you always try to live by it because you know your temper can get the best of you sometimes.
The keyword here, though, is try.
You run a hand through your hair, feeling infuriated at this point because Jungkook keeps fucking explaining himself, even though he’s the one who started this whole thing. You can’t even properly hear what he’s saying, all of his words going into one ear and out the other. Something about it not meaning anything and ending it with her months ago. 
You take a deep breath and look into his panicked eyes.
“You’re such a fucking hypocrite.”
You think he’s apologizing again, from the way his lips form the words I’m sorry, but your pulse is ringing so loud in your ears that you don’t really catch the sounds. The anger inside of you still simmers despite having spilled over. Your face is so eerily calm that you hope it scares him. When you turn on your heels to leave, you know he’s following you back to the studio. You sit back down beside Yoongi but you don’t meet his eyes. You keep your gaze trained on the open notebook, nursing that anger.
You should’ve known that there’s no moving forward with Jungkook. If anything, he just wants to tie you to the past and never let you leave. Is he that immature, that selfish that even after all this time, after what he did, he can’t stand the idea of you and someone else?
You briefly make eye contact with Jungkook from across the room before you turn to Yoongi, your voice loud enough for everyone to hear.
“On second thought, that drink does sound nice,” you tell him with a smile. “Pick me up at 9?”
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— all rights reserved © jeonqkooks. reposting, translating and/or modifying is not permitted by any means. [posted december 31, 2022]
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wingsdippedingold · 7 months ago
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Just my opinion but I don't think the inner circle should exist as a political group that helps their BEST FRIEND lead an entire court. Reasons why:1)They are his friends so he would most likely believe their version of events instead of another person's2) biased behaviour3) they act like literal children and can't behave civil unless it's with each other4) do they actually have political experience bc half their court Hayes them and they do whatever they want. ( More reasons I can't think of atm but ygiI'm not saying that rhysand can't have people he trusts within his council but he should also have mature and experienced members who will give him good advice and won't act like a group of toddlers. He gave his friends far too much authority and freedom to act however they want. Nesta's treatment is proof that if they collectively don't like someone they will put said person through hell.Just my opinion tho, to each their own yk
And I completely agree 😭😭
Velaris is the real CoN. Court of Nepotism
Cassian and Azriel are both revered as great warriors and like super talented so whatever with them ig. But Amren? She’s useless. Morrigan’s job could go to literally anyone (don’t even get me started on the shitty “she’s a dreamer” stuff they pull as an excuse to not save anyone else from the CoN).
3) YES OMG THAT HIGH LORD MEETING WAS A MESS
4) they in fact do not. Rhysand I can understand initially because his father died abruptly, but it’s been like 409 years and he’s still an idiot.
Also he placed Cas and Az in power immediately too, so it was nepotism because there is no way they were the greatest compared to his father’s underlings. I cant remember if this is right but I’m pretty sure he like immediately got rid of his father’s advisors, which is such a dumb idea as a fresh high lord with no experience.
And for the last point they’re treatment of Nesta does totally show their immaturity and inability to not have gripping control over everything. Feyre being upset and embarrassed about her sister pissed me off so much, and there’s 0 way she’s qualified to be a high lady. Rhysand literally let’s his little knife happy Cassian run wild and is like “I know he literally obliterated part of the summer court but we forced our soldiers on to their territory that they said they didn’t want so we should be okay 🙄”
Sorry this is rushed because I totally agree and needed to brain dump 😭
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herejusttosufferalong · 4 months ago
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Hey there. I just wanted to say hi. I love your blog & you seem to share my thinking on the whole L, N situation. I’ve abandoned most of the other fan sites & blogs in recent days because they all sway with the wind ( LT & N theories gaining momentum since LA pics today 🙄) & are becoming anti LN which I will never get on board with but today was a difficult day.
My gut is telling me there’s more to this than what we’re being fed by L & his disastrous PR. I believe there has been something between L & N at some point during filming & press tour (I’m guessing Brasil, Canada & possibly Ireland) but I cannot understand why he sabotaged such an optimum moment in his career after London premiere. For what? There was an unprecedented amount of goodwill towards him after the press tour due to their easy relationship & connection with N & decided to throw it all away for a pap walk with a 23 yr old however unconvincing & underwhelming but still devastating to the fans on that night.
I have felt L& N are biding their time but why risk his career at his hottest moment. His SM growth since premiere doesn’t even compare to Ns since then. If he doesn’t announce a project from this time in LA it’s just embarrassing for him & I worry for him going back into filming S4 with all the projects N, JB & S have announced has in past month.
I’d love to know what you think of it all.
Why did Nic jump into support him after the pap walk & continue to do so for another week & why have Shondaland & Netflix doubled down on shipping the N & L chemistry/relationship after the Galway video which very much felt like a wrap up on the whole thing . Not to mention Jack Murphy & his gushing posts in recent days. If these guys thing Luke was in a relationship they wouldn’t have take this so far. Imagine you’re boss posting about your relationship with a current work colleague 🤯
Also his sister commenting on As make up tutorial 🤯
I have loads more to add but as I said today has been a lot 😉☺️
I have given pretty extensive thoughts on most of these points
DM me anon
Thank you for the kind words, glad you are here 💜
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unspuncreature · 1 year ago
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a few weeks ago i was briefly possessed by the spirit of writing and spat out a mishmash of concept and ficlet at @renlyslittlerose, who took it all in stride and even encouraged me to post it!
i wanted to wait until i had the bandwidth to polish it, but with my limited time and energy these days, who knows when that will be.
instead, below the cut, i’ve copied the exact original messages i sent with absolutely zero editing. i hope you enjoy my candor and typos.
here’s the obikin bath & body works au ✨🫧🧴🧼
i feel like i’ve talked my way around a bath & body works-adjacent AU without ever actually talking about it but you know what?? today is the day
anakin is a retail associate at a soaps+lotions store and obi-wan comes in looking so handsome and frazzled and confused and anakin is like. oh boy one of these. ok sir who are you buying a gift for 🙄
except he can’t get all the words about because once he’s close enough to greet the man with his normal spiel. he realizes. this is the most amazing smelling man he’s every encountered in his LIFE
so he fumbles through helping obi-wan pick out a gift basket’s worth of assorted but complementary lotions and body scrubs in a daze. hoping and praying to the powers that be that he did not just help this man build the perfect gift basket for his girlfriend or, heaven forbid, his wife. and as anakin walks him all the way to the checkout counter (usually he just points customers in that direction but anakin is LATCHED onto this man), obi-wan turns to him and squints at his name tag and says “you’ve done a lovely job, anakin. i think with your help i’ll be spared my sister’s disappointment.” and anakin’s heart SOARS while his dick threatens to publicly embarrass him because he has never heard his own name sound like THAT coming out of anyone’s mouth ever
he’s almost forward enough to ask the man’s name or even give his phone number, but balks and ends up giving him a discount card for buy one get one half off any purchase of 2 or more body care products. except the expiration date is scratched out and scribbled over hastily in anakin’s handwriting, written to now expire instead at the end of the week
obi-wan blinks but pockets it with a charming smile and thanks anakin AGAIN and anakin thinks he might just pass out at this point
the rest of the shift passes in a haze, anakin makes it home and kicks himself the entire night, barely able to sleep. he barely pays any attention in his classes the next morning, worried that even if obi-wan does return, he has no idea when anakin works and they could very possibly miss each other entirely. that is, if obi-wan even comes back
his coworkers ask him what’s wrong when he clocks in the next day, and anakin grumbles and does his best to put on something akin to a serviceably customer-friendly mask. he drags like a zombie as he resets the seasonal display in the center of the store, snapping into lucidity every time the door chimes and a customer walks in, none of them his warm and spicy, flustered and handsome nameless crush
defeated and debating whether or not to feign illness so he can just go home and languish in bed, anakin hangs up his apron and goes to clock out for his break when he hears another customer enter. he doesn’t turn around, unable to stand any further self induced disappointment. one of his coworkers covering for him on his break greets them. and anakin’s stomach drops
“i made a purchase yesterday actually and was hoping to speak to the associate who assisted me. does… is anakin working today, by chance?”
“oh… i’m so sorry, he’s on break right now, but i’d be more than happy to—“
anakin doesn’t care that he must have bruised his hip on the checkout counter with how quickly he throws his apron back on and whips around to barrel through the store at lightning speed. he can’t even be bothered to bite back the stupid smile on his face.
with all the grace and propriety of any man on a mission of true love, anakin slips in beside his coworker and pipes up over her, locking gazes with the man and relishing the way his eyes widen, then soften and crinkle with warm recognition.
“i’ve got it from here, it’s really not a problem.”
anakin doesn’t even turn to see which of his coworkers he’s just so rudely dismissed. they must leave without fuss though, because then it’s just the two of them, staring at each other over a carefully stacked pyramid of passion fruit and peony hand lotion.
“short break, then? i’d hate to be the reason you forgo your lunch.”
“i’m alright. i’m, uh. i’m not hungry.”
the man smiles knowingly and cocks his head to the side, a lock of hair falling in his face as his eyes crinkle once again, just the faintest hint of age.
anakin thinks he might die. he smells even better than he remembers. it’s like nothing he’s ever smelled before. certainly nothing they sell here, at least. it can’t be cologne, right? jeez. maybe this is how all those ridiculous hallmark movie leads feel when they lock eyes with their favorite generic brown-haired man of the hour. anakin wants to fall into this man’s thick, sweater-clad arms. he wants to wedge his face in the crook of his neck and nuzzle his beard that looks oh-so-soft and inhale him. he wants to get down on one knee and ask if he—
“… can get your help with something?”
oh. right. anakin desperately hopes the flush he can feel crawling hot up his neck isn’t as visible as it feels.
“y-yeah, of course. sorry. what can i do for you?”
tl;dr because i promised myself i’d start my day at 9:50 and it’s now 9:56 BUT
obi-wan coyly asks anakin to help him find products for *himself* and anakin is like. um no offense but are you insane. you smell amazing already. and obi-wan is like 👀 and anakin is like NOT that i was smelling you because i WASNT hahahh that would be SO weird i just. there was a strong breeze. and. man that cologne you’re wearing sure is strong. plus i have a sensitive nose yknow. for example, i can smell that uhhh…… and obi-wan is like. i’m… not wearing any cologne. and anakin is like 😵‍💫
anakin helps him make his purchase just as dazed as he was yesterday. rings him up himself to make sure he gets his special anakin only discount. and then he finally gets obi-wan’s name.
obi-wan asks if he’s free after work. anakin says yes and also he’s free every afternoon for the rest of his life. in case something comes up and obi-wan needs a rain check. or something. obi-wan laughs and says today is just fine.
obi-wan picks him up and they go home and put obi-wan’s brand new body oil to excellent use 😌 the end
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cariadlovescodwomen · 1 year ago
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cariad’s obsession with the female call of duty characters is starting to get unhealthy (it has been for quite a while)
valeria, kate, farah 💞
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valeria garza might have committed many heinous crimes, but who hasn’t? :). don’t act like you’re innocent. let’s be partners in crime, val, forget about everyone else. (i’m losing it)
(i would do anything for that woman, oh my GOD. i’d let her shoot me)
i just wanna be kate’s wife. that’s all i want out of this life. maybe i have a thing for older women, maybe i have a thing for american women.
(that sounds odd, lmfao, idk what it is. y’know when a character has a non-american accent, and in every fanfic it’s always pointed out? “their deep british accent rung through your ears”? i’m like that with american accents, for some reason?? american accents are deemed the norm, so no one pays attention when a character has a standard northern american accent, but i love them 😭 and southern american accents)
i want farah to teach me how to ride a motorcycle. please, ma’am. i just wanna spend any amount of time with farah, tbh. she’s so beautiful, and smart, and strong, atkajsksksk.
(side note - i feel so weird calling a woman “ma’am” because i call my actual mother “mam” and the pronunciation (the pronunciation i use for “ma’am” anyway) is literally the same)
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operators you probably don’t care about 💞 (calisto, stiletto, roze, kleo, nova, luna)
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fuck the royals 🤬, fuck the royals 😏. look, she seems pretentious af, but i love her for it. what was that one voice line? “can i play with you? mhm.” what does that mean, calisto???
(my hearing is shit so if that’s not what she said, don’t tell me :). i’d rather pretend, LOL)
most of the content i see for stiletto is shipping her with könig. she is literally dating me, how dare you disrespect our relationship like that. i could treat a woman better than him, anyway 🙄.
(sorry, könig, you’ve become my punching bag, i promise i don’t actually hate you. i’m just jealous of your fans, that’s all)
rozlin goddamn helms. she was once a shadow, right? no wonder she left that company. i could treat my employees better than graves could. back to actually talking about roze herself, mw19 roze had a chokehold on me, man. she’s so AH. (you figure out what that means)
(fuck you, graves, i may have stated that i liked southern american accents, but this excludes you (and most men, southern accents on women, i should’ve clarified))
kleopatros gavras. that woman. now, where the hell is the hype for her? i feel she’s very smart, and obviously very strong. i love smart women. i love strong women. i love women. doesn’t seem very friendly, but i can work with that. (that sounds weird)
(when it comes to characters that don’t have official heights, i like to headcanon them some, for nearly all of the female operators, they’re tall because i said so, i love tall women)
i think nova’s actress is very pretty. i, too, love flying. it was meant to be, no? please, nova, i’m on my knees. i literally have no words to describe the way i feel about this woman 😶.
(a lot of people don’t like her voice, but i don’t have anything negative to say, really. maybe i’m too blinded by love 🤷‍♀️) (that was embarrassing to say)
luna just seems like a really friendly person. she makes me feel safe?? even though she isn’t real?? the voice line, “alright then, i see you!” did it for me. she’s a soldier, she’s tough, but she’s also so amicable it kills me. idk i just love her, man.
(another smart woman, i fucking love smart women. i just wanna be her friend, lmao)
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all in all, i’m a raging lesbian, and the women in this game make me feel things :). also, apologising if there are any grammatical or linguistic errors. <3
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