#i’m off at 9:30. it’s 8:30 and i’m pretty sure every single guest has already left.

[corvidshipping]

[artificialqueens]

Galactica, Chapter 48 (Group Fic) - TheDane/Veronica

A/N: Click here if you’re looking for previous chapters (or here if you’d rather read on AO3). 💫

Last Chapter: Aiden threw a tantrum when he found out he’d be assisting at the holiday show, and Courtney tried learning more about her best friend’s sister.

This Chapter: The Galactica Holiday Show very nearly goes off without a hitch...but not quite.

***

There were times, in this job, where Courtney couldn’t help but be extremely grateful to Violet for all the binders full of detailed instructions that she’d left behind.

Today was one of those times.

Courtney had never been to a showroom show, had no idea what to expect, and hadn’t even known they existed before Ivy had told her to put it in the calendar.

However, between Violet’s checklists and Ivy’s lead, Courtney felt like she stood half a chance of, at the very least, not fucking up too badlfy.

She’d spent last week pulling together everything they needed for the gift bags, from sponsors as well as Miss Fame’s preferred vendors, and made sure that she’d written everyone attending personalized notes as usual, thanking them on behalf of the company and Miss Fame for coming.

A last-minute change with the look books meant that they weren’t going to be ready until 6:30 am, so she’d been up at the crack of dawn to get to the printers in Queens the second they opened, now arriving at the venue holding the two heavy banker’s boxes, mind racing with everything she still had to do to make sure the day went smoothly for Miss Fame, calculating exactly how much time she needed to have her breakfast and coffee so that it would still be hot when she arrived later.

Courtney was so deep in thought that she almost missed seeing Tatianna, her friend standing at the elevator, bouncing nervously in her tennis shoes.

“Courtney!” Tatianna smiled. She was wearing a pair of tight fitting yoga pants and a white boxy t-shirt, a backpack over her shoulder.

“Tati!” she cried. “Hi! I would hug you but-” She motioned with her chin to the banker’s boxes.

“Here, let me help.” Tati took one of the boxes before she could protest, kissing Courtney on the cheek in the process, her lips silky smooth on Courtney’s skin.

“Thank you! I wasn’t expecting to see you so early.” Courtney was pretty sure that the models all had a 9:30 call time, and it was barely 8.

“I know, but I was all freaked out about the train being on time,” Tati explained, shrugging her shoulder.

“Well, I’m super relieved to see you.” It was true, Tatianna’s familiar face looking even more beautiful than usual. “I’m kind of panicking.”

“Why?”

“There’s just so many things that can go wrong, and I feel like I’m kind of over my head, and-”

The elevator doors finally opened on the showroom floor, revealing the bustling space that was formerly an extremely posh apartment, Ivy speaking to the event coordinator over by the bay windows, a lighting technician climbing a ladder nearby and a contractor stapling the last of the runway carpet to the floor so no one could slip.

Courtney had only been at the showroom once before, briefly, to pick up a suit for Miss Fame, but it had been totally renovated since then, nothing looking familiar, especially not the rows of white chairs set up for their guests.

She spotted the gift bag boxes that her and Ivy packed up and sent over on Friday, all stacked under a large folding table, and hurried over to set her banker’s box down, Tati on her heels.

“Thanks so much for your help. Let me try to find out where-”

“Court!” Ivy called out, walking over to her. “Hi, glad you found the stuff! By the time you’re done setting up the bags, I’ll have the names on all the chairs so it should be easy to put them out. And that door-” she pointed, “leads to the room we’re using for Miss Fame, so check it out and let me know if you’re missing anything.” She then noticed Tati putting down her box, and stuck out her hand. “Hi! I’m Ivy Winters.”

“Ivy, this is my friend Tati. She’s one of the models-”

“Of course! I should have guessed!” Ivy exclaimed, giving Tati her typically charming smile. “Come with me, I’ll show you where you can hang out until they’re ready for you. You’re a bit early, but that’s okay, because that means you get first choice at the craft service table!”

Courtney smiled, happy that Tati was being taken care of, praying that everything today would go smoothly.

***

“Feeling nervous?” Sutan looked over his shoulder as he made his way up the winding staircase to the Galactica showroom apartment.

The showroom was placed in an older building, Fame purchasing it when Galactica had finally started to make actual money, a proper showroom something she refused to pinch pennies on, and since they were still in business, it seemed like it had been the right decision.

“I’m not going to shit my pants if that’s what you’re asking.”

“Ha,” Sutan smiled, Symone two steps behind him, her long hair in a braid. The gorgeous girl was one of his newest hires, her 19th birthday only just ticking around. He still remembered the text he’d gotten from the scout, who had been scoping out some regional teen beauty pageants in the south. He’d seen her picture and instantly instructed the scout to book her a flight to NY. He hadn’t meant to keep her, hadn’t intended to put her on his roster, but he liked her, her fighting spirit lighting up any set she walked on, and so far, even though she’d proven to be a fast learner, he still felt mildly protective of her.

“Not what I asked,” Sutan waited for Symone to catch up, “But good to know.”

They had almost made it to the showroom, Sutan giving her one last look over before they made it to the door. He had picked her up at the modeling apartment she was staying at, making sure she had a light breakfast and plenty of water, her black jeans and white crop top close enough to approved that he hadn’t bothered to ask her to go back inside and change.

Sutan knew it was probably nepotism to make his sister take Symone on so soon after the holiday fittings, but showcases were a good way to test drive newer models, to see if they were ready to do bigger and better things, and Sutan had every hope that Symone could be big.

“Okay, so,” Sutan turned to Symone. “Remember what I taught you. Shoulders back, chin up, back straight. Be polite, be nice, do as you're told.”

Symone nodded, her eyes resting on Sutan’s face, taking in everything he was saying.

“And most importantly.” Sutan smiled. “Have fun.”

***

“Okay, so has everyone found their models?”

Violet smiled as Trixie was standing in the middle of what probably used to be a smaller living room, holding his little clipboard, Alaska, Kim and Amy set up for makeup and hair at the side of the room, Raven already in one of the chairs, a magazine opened on her lap.

“Yes coach!” Maxwell yelled back, the man with Yuhua from tailoring who was making the final adjustments to one of the models. On one hand, it was a little unnecessary for Violet to be there, her holiday gown done and ready to go, the finished styling of the models not a task that fell in her hands at all.

Still, she was happy to be there, happy to get to experience this, but most of all, she was happy she wasn’t Courtney.

Courtney had been running around, trying and almost succeeding in making sure that Fame was in a good mood. They had never had a chance to test run a showroom show, but Violet knew she had left behind a binder with instructions for Courtney, keeping Fame level one of the harder tasks on a day like today, since a large portion of Galactica’s budget depended on impressing the rich and powerful that walked through the door.

Violet had been backstage at several shows, but this was the first time she was really paying attention to the models. She never used to think about what agency models came from, or even the models themself. At Parsons, no one had been able to afford them, and as Fame’s assistant, she only needed to give a single call to have every agency in town jump at the chance.

“Violet!” Violet paused, the sound of her name coming from a voice she didn’t recognize. “It’s so good to see you!”

Violet turned, coming face to face with the angel she remembered from Halloween.

“Oh,”

Tatianna was just as gorgeous as she had been the last time she saw her. She wasn’t wearing any makeup, her brown eyes, golden-tan skin and bright white teeth apparently just how she looked.

“Hello-”

“I didn’t know you worked here!” Tatianna grinned, a cup of coffee in her hand.

“I do-” Violet cursed on the inside, the answer absolutely lame. “I haven’t seen you here before. Who are you with?”

“With?” Tatianna looked confused for a second. “Ah! You mean who I work for? So it’s actually kind of a funny story. I don’t really have a manager yet, but Courtney got someone named Max to take these headshots-”

“Violet!” Violet’s head snapped to attention as Tatianna was cut off, Trixie calling for her. “One of the model management models needs a robe. Can you find one for her?”

“Yes coach.” Violet nodded, thankful for the escape as she made her way towards the rolling clothing racks at the back of the room, Ivy stuffing them full of everything anyone could possibly need, the things toppling over if anyone breathed in the wrong direction.

***

Over the weekend, Aiden had taken the time to look deep within himself, tried to figure out the actual source of his discontent. Maybe it was silly to focus so much anger on Violet, just because she was brand new and already getting more chances and support than he’d gotten over a year. After all, it wasn’t her fault that she seemed to fall ass-backwards into every possible opportunity. Maybe she wasn’t the actual enemy.

Of course, the second he saw her on Monday, he realized that all of that was garbage: he hated her, and her face, and her stupid high ponytail and impractical heels. She was a stuck-up brat who didn’t appreciate how easy she had it. And besides that, her dresses were overworked and reductive.

Aiden had tried to stay calm, had tried to do what he was supposed to, which was assist and support.

Holiday was a smaller collection, which Aiden knew because he had been at Galactica for forever, unlike Violet, so there wasn’t that much to do, tailoring only sending them fully finished garments which didn’t always happen during the mad dashes that were fashion weeks.

Aiden had helped Kiara, and had even taken a trip downstairs to get a box of shoes, but he had quickly faded to the back of the room, standing amongst the racks with a cup of coffee, watching everyone else work.

He heard her before he saw her, Violet’s heels clacking on the floor as she made her way towards the racks with her stupid little scissors, the gold glinting in the light. She was probably going to go over the final check of the garments, snipping any and all loose threads, once again acting like she was better than everyone else.

Aiden was about to say something, but Violet didn’t notice him, didn’t even see him as she walked up, didn’t acknowledge his existence.

And that was the final straw.

It was an impulse. A whim. A passing thought. After a glance around the room to make sure nobody was watching, he did it--shoved the rack as hard as he could, causing both Violet and the rack to crash to the ground, Aiden not hearing the sickening crunch of Violet’s foot that got caught on the bar.

***

[So, any takers on when her majesty will lose her shit today?] Sutan smiled at his twin over the rim of his glass of mimosa. They were standing on the outskirts of the showroom, Ivy walking from white chair to white chair as she put showcards down, a big box under her arm. The showroom was set up in the classic style, a black carpet in the middle of the rows with several smaller circles on the corners so the models had time to twirl and really show off their garments.

He had tried to catch a glimpse of Violet when he had dropped off Symone, but he hadn’t been able to spot her, Raven chatting his ear off before he had made his retreat to go look for his twin.

[Don’t even joke about that asshole.] Raja smirked, her arms crossed, her own glass about half empty. She was looking absolutely stunning in one of her suits, her long hair up in a high ponytail, jewels hanging from her ears. [Also, I think we need a new nickname. Fame is catching on to majesty.]

[Ha,] Sutan snorted. He loved being able to speak Indonesian with his sisters, the language like their own little secret, the perfect way to gossip without being discovered. [We could workshop the upcoming storm?]

Raja laughed, just about to open her mouth, when they both heard a loud crash.

[What was that?] Raja turned around, Fame’s little assistant rushing by them as she ran backstage.

[It sounded like something falling?] Sutan hadn’t heard a scream, and even though he could clearly pick out commotion backstage, he couldn’t make out the sound of anyone crying. [I’ll go check.]

Sutan drowned his glass, giving his sister a smile before he started walking, hoping that it wasn’t anyone from Elite who had fucked up.

***

“Is everyone okay?!”

Courtney could feel her heart in her throat as she ran into the backstage area. She had been at the front, practically dropping the box she was holding the minute she heard the crash.

Several racks at the back of the room were toppled over, clothes everywhere in a gigantic mess. Courtney ran over, a circle of people blocking her way.

“Everyone!” Courtney heard Trixie, a surprising note of authority in his usually gentle voice. “Back off!”

They all did, Courtney now able to press her way forwards, forcing her body past Max, when she heard the last name she had expected.

“Violet.” Courtney made her way towards the front of the row, and there she was. “Violet. Are you okay?”

Trixie had a hand on Violet’s knee, and Courtney had never seen her look like this. There were tear stains on Violet’s cheeks, her normally perfect appearance frazzled and broken.

“Oh my god,” Courtney threw herself forward, scrambling to get on the floor next to Violet, her only thought being near her friend. “Violet, are you-”

“Courtney-” Violet looked at her, her brown eyes practically black, her mascara smudge. “My foot, I can’t- It got caught-”

Courtney turned her attention to Violet’s foot, easily telling which one it was since her shoe was strawn to the side.

“This one?”

Violet nodded. A bruise was already beginning to form, visible through her sheer stockings, her skirt around her knees.

“Kandy-” Courtney searched the group for the design assistant, finding her watching the scene with frightened eyes. “Go to the bar and ask for a bag of ice.”

“Okay!”

“Violet!”

Courtney turned to see Raja’s brother racing in, coming directly towards them. All she could remember was how, months ago in Fame’s office, he’d made Violet cry and forced her to leave -- and Courtney was in no mood to deal with some macho bullshit when there was a medical emergency.

“Don’t look at me!” Violet held a hand up in front of her face, clearly trying to shield herself from him.

“Lovely eyes-”

“Mr. Amrull.” Courtney tried to step between them, to help her friend, everything in her burning to protect Violet. “Please stay back, we’re trying not to-”

“That’s my fucking girlfriend!” Sutan exclaimed, ignoring Courtney completely and rushing to Violet’s side, crouching down by her head. “Violet. Please-”

Courtney opened her mouth to argue, but when she saw Violet reach toward him, Sutan grabbing her hand, Courtney realized that maybe his presence would be comforting to her, in spite of the bad taste he’d left in Courtney’s own mouth.

“Vi…” Courtney said gently, still kneeling at Violet’s feet. It was too early to see if there was any swelling. “Can you put any weight on it?”

Violet tested it, wincing deeply and then shaking her head no. “I’m sorry-” Violet’s voice broke, sounding almost embarrassed.

“Okay,” Courtney swallowed, trying to stay calm, “I think we need to call for an ambulance.”

“No! No no.” Violet exclaimed, holding up the hand that wasn’t clasped in Sutan’s. “I don’t need an ambulance. I’ll just ice it and take a cab after the show-”

“After the show?!” Courtney almost wanted to hit the other woman. “Violet, you are not staying here when you’re hurt!”

“I have to do my job.”

“Lovely eyes-” Sutan tried to cut in, the panic in Violet’s voice rising.

“I made a huge mess and-” Violet reached for her throat, her fingers scratching her neck. “I can’t just-”

“Violet.” Trixie cut in, Courtney genuinely forgetting that he was still there, his tone leaving no room for arguments. “We’ll take care of this. All I want is for you to be okay. Kandy is calling an ambulance for you and-”

“No, please-” Red splotches had shown up on Violet’s cheeks. “No ambulance, I can’t afford that, I’ll-”

“How are you even going to get yourself downstairs to a cab?” Courtney sighed. She’d never been able to get used to the fact of how expensive everything related to healthcare was here, how people had to worry about money when they were lying on the ground with a possible broken bone. “You can’t go to the hospital on your own-”

“I’ll take her,” Sutan said gently, pressing a kiss to the crown of her head, and Courtney smiled slightly. Maybe she’d misjudged him.

“But what about your-” Violet looked up at Sutan, the man taking most of her weight.

“That’s not important. I’m coming with you, even if I have to carry you out of here.”

“Please,” Violet snorted, her panic forgotten for a moment as she smiled. “Don’t be ridiculous,”

Just then, Kandy rushed back in with the ice, and so Courtney decided to give up the fight, helping to find Violet’s bag and coat, instructing Kandy to take them down the service elevator, knowing that Miss Fame would be furious if they interrupted the party, even for an emergency.

***

Violet couldn’t remember ever feeling this embarrassed in her life. She was leaning against Sutan who had said a few words to Raven before taking off, the man supporting her like it was the most natural thing in the world as they entered the service elevator.

Violet had never been more grateful for how overprepared she was, the pair of foldable ballet flats she always kept in her bag almost making it bearable to move. She had no idea how she’d face her coworkers when returning to work, thick shame curled up in her belly, the pain in her foot the only reason she hadn’t fought harder to redirect the attention, everyone staring at her without a doubt showing up in her nightmares.

Violet had no idea how the entire accident had even happened. One minute, she’d been ready to do the final check Trixie had asked of her, completely in her own world, the next, several racks had taken her down.

The only explanation Violet could come up with was that she must have accidentally kicked the rack, that her foot had been in the wrong place at the wrong time, that this was her fault.

Violet didn’t know if her dress would be okay, if her coworkers could salvage the mess she had made, but she hoped that she hadn’t ruined anything, and that she still had a chance to keep her job.

***

Bianca strolled into the Galactica showroom, impressed by the renovation that had apparently taken place since she was last inside. At least one wall had been knocked down, opening up the space and allowing the light to pour in through the bay windows, and all the furniture was brand new, what appeared to be lovingly restored antiques. She looked around, finally spotting the bar and walking over. It was only halfway through the workday, but since it was a holiday week, she figured it was fine to indulge.

As she waited for the world’s slowest bartender to make her cocktail, she turned around again, surveying the room. Most of the guests were high-end buyers, socialites, people known for spending big bucks on couture. Bianca knew a few in passing, socially, but this really wasn’t her crowd. She sighed, annoyed, wishing she’d just asked for a glass of wine.

Just then, there was a stir in the room as Miss Fame appeared, making her way graciously through the crowd and finally greeting Bianca with a delighted smile.

“Bianca! Darling!” Fame was a vision in white, the creamy fabric hugging her hips, the short cape sleeves and the knee length her signature silhouette, gold glittering from her fingers and ears. “So glad you could make it!”

“Of course, blondie, I wouldn’t miss it!” Bianca gave her friend a couple of air kisses and a hug, careful not to crease her clothing. “So, will I be impressed?”

“It’s my most fervent hope,” Fame said, sounding so drily sincere that Bianca couldn’t help but laugh.

“How’s your jaw?”

“My jaw?” Fame raised a perfect eyebrow.

“You know, days like this...it must really ache from sucking all this metaphorical dick.” Bianca gestured towards the clientele around the room, then turned slightly to pick up the cocktail that was finally ready for her.

“Ugh, really Bianca,” Fame scolded, nose wrinkled distastefully, but she couldn’t keep up the act, soon letting a smile pull at her mouth, giving Bianca’s arm an affectionate squeeze.

It was then when Bianca noticed a petite blonde hovering timidly by Fame’s shoulder, shifting from foot to foot. Courtney was obviously trying to get to her boss, but afraid to interrupt.

She looked absolutely adorable--a short, classic black A-line dress with a starched white Peter Pan collar, hair held off her beautiful face with a narrow black headband, clipboard in hand like a dutiful little assistant. Bianca caught her eye, dimples appearing in her cheeks as she smiled.

“Hi Courtney.”

“Hi.” Courtney returned her smile as she stepped closer. “I’m so sorry to interrupt, I’m-”

“It’s okay, do your thing. Nice shoes.” Bianca gestured to her Mary Jane style Gucci heels, knowing that they were probably procured second-hand and even then, probably a prized possession to someone on Courtney’s salary. The delighted expression on Courtney’s face at the compliment confirmed that she was right, a smile that made her glow from the inside.

“Bianca,” Fame said. “How on earth do you know my assistant?” Her face was still smiling, but with slightly gritted teeth now, her eyes telling a clear story.

“Wouldn’t you like to know?” Bianca winked at Courtney, whose cheeks began to turn a charming shade of pink.

Fame turned her head and flashed Courtney a dangerous look, causing her to stammer out, “Oh um, I’m just… Bianca’s sister is my best friend, Miss,” cheeks reddening even more.

Letting out a mildly terrifying laugh, Fame responded, “How very delightful! What a small world we live in. Courtney dear, is everything alright backstage? On track?”

“Oh yes! That’s what I came to tell you. The situation has been handled and they’ll be ready to go in twenty minutes as planned.”

“Good.” Fame turned back to Bianca, dismissing Courtney with a little wave and, “That’s all.”

Courtney nodded, taking the signal and hurrying away. Bianca watched her go, and Fame watched Bianca, her eyes narrowing.

“Bianca Del Rio…”

“What?” Bianca turned back to Fame, batting her thick black eyelashes innocently.

“Do not. Even. Think about it!”

“Come on, I’m only human…” Bianca flashed a dimpled grin.

“I am serious. Leave her alone. Or I will end you.”

“Ooh, I’m so scared! You gonna nag me to death?”

“Bianca…” Fame’s eyes narrowed again. “I am telling you. Do not. Especially not this week when I already have my in-laws to deal with, and-”

“Alright, alright. I’ll wait until next week.”

“Bianca!” she huffed, and Bianca let out a loud cackle at her enraged expression.

“Would you calm down? Angel face over there is straight.”

Fame shook her head. “Yes well…So’s spaghetti until you get it wet. ”

Bianca laughed again, raising her class. “Cheers to that, blondie!”

[purplesurveys]

630

SEVEN DEADLY SINS

Sin 1: Lust 1. Who was the last person you checked out? Did they check you out too? Surprise surprise, it’s my girlfriend. Yeah she did - I think I’d start worrying if she didn’t, lmao.

2. Who was the last person you desired, but they didn’t feel the same? Gab, at one point. Other than her, I haven’t desired anybody else; but I was on the ‘didn’t feel the same’ side at least once, back when Mike used to like me.

3. Ever cheated on a significant other? If so, have you learned from it? No, I’ve never cheated.

4. Do you watch porn? Yes. I’d have phases where I’d view it 2-3 times a week, then I’d completely stop for months – kinda like how everyone plays The Sims lol. I don’t know why it works like that for me.

5. Do you masturbate? Sometimes.

6. Best physical features on your preferred sex? I don’t have a preferred sex, and my favored features differ per person.

7. Who are some celebrities that you think are totally hot? Kristen Stewart, if you don’t me already haha. Also Eugene Lee Yang from the Try Guys, Beyoncé, and Jennifer Aniston.

8. Did you ever lust after a best friend’s significant other? How did it turn out? Mmm nope, I never found myself attracted to Hans in any way. The fact that he has always been associated with Angela ever since high school also helps.

9. When was the last time you had sex? Like a week before Christmas, I think.

10. Ever pursued someone, even though they were taken? No, that’s a little awful.

Sin 2: Gluttony 1. When did you last eat at a restaurant? What restaurant was it? Last Monday – Gab and I went to Yabu to catch dinner. We had been entertaining my mom’s guests and their kid all day and thought we couldn’t leave the house cos it’s a bit impolite, but I had such a craving that I ended up asking permission if we can go to Yabu by 8:30 even though the mall closed by 9 lol. I realize I talk about Yabu an awful lot on here so for those who wanna know, it’s this local Japanese place that serves theeeee best katsu.

2. When did you last have fast food? Where did you get it? I don’t actually remember. If I’m not wrong, it was around two or three weeks ago, and we had KFC delivered to our house because we were too lazy to cook or go out. I had the Zinger Steak, which I hope they never phase out because it’s insanely good.

3. What was the biggest meal you had all day? I haven’t eaten yet, and it’s only 10:51 AM. 

4. Do you have too many clothes? How often do you go shopping? I wouldn’t say it’s overwhelmingly many, but I definitely own more clothes than the pieces I’d usually wear, and that’s because I don’t like throwing old stuff out just in case I’d need them in the future (definitely got my great-grandma’s hoarding tendencies). I go shopping once in a few months, which in itself is pretty seldom, but that’s because when I go shopping I usually already buy a shit-ton of new clothes, enough for me to be able to mix and match to come up with new outfits for the next few weeks.

5. What’s something you have a LOT of? Black clothing. I’ve made an effort to get more colored tops, but the blacks still overpower.

6. Do you eat a lot? I’m very takaw-tingin, which is a Filipino term used when you get a crapload of food either because you’re hungry or because you’re confident you can finish it – or both – then you never do. Takaw means greedy or glutton, tingin roughly means sight, so it literally means that you just kinda want to get everything because it looks like a lot. So to answer the question, I always feel like I can eat a lot, but at the end of the day I just end up with stomachaches and I never learn.

7. What was the last thing you splurged (spent a lot of money) on? If a bunch of stuff counts, then I splurged on Christmas presents for various people that I all bought in one go – I got massage oils, a garlic press, a frisbee, Marikina sandals, lipstick, and Instax film. If you’re talking about a single thing that I had to drop a ton of money on, it was for my dog’s blood test and some arthritis meds that the vet recommended.

8. What do you spend most of your money on (besides bills and anything necessary like that)? I only ever spend on necessities like gas, clothes, and food, honestly. Other than that... I spend on (and this is very seldom) whatever hobby I’m into at the moment. At one point I spent on slime because I got interested in them, and before that – and y’all know about this – I spent my Christmas savings on adult coloring books and pencils.

9. Last time you ate candy? What was it? A week or two ago; I had a Crunch bar.

10. Last thing you ate too much of? Eggs, I think. My mom makes it for breakfast so I have it almost every day.

Sin 3: Greed 1. Do you share things? How often? Yeah I can be pretty generous with my stuff. I know I’d appreciate it when other people lend me their belongings, so I try to do the same. I once lent my phone to Rita for over an hour just because she wanted to play Mario Kart, and I also lent a book that’s really important to me to an online friend I barely knew; it was with him for like two years, lol.

2. Someone asks you for a piece of your cookie. You break it in half, but the pieces aren’t equal. Who gets the bigger piece? Usually it would be me; but if the person who asked for it was Gab, or if that particular person likes the cookie I have, then they get the bigger piece.

3. When you see change on the ground, do you pick it up? Only if it’s a 10-peso coin, because I’m greedily picky like that lmao. Other people might need a peso or a 5-peso coin more, so I leave it be.

4. How often do you lend money to people? I don’t, and that’s one thing I wouldn’t tend to lend. My parents just give me allowance and it’s usually enough for necessities and for treating myself once or twice a week, so I wouldn’t be able to have some left for others. Besides, that’s my parents’ money and it would be pretty fuckin’ unfair to them if I just give it away to others lmao.

5. Do you loooove money? I hate what it’s done to society, how it’s divided the rich and the poor, and how the people with the most money also tend to be the most selfish coughcoughBILLIONAIREScoughcough. But I love spending for my own, hah.

6. If someone offers to pay for you, do you decline or readily accept? Oh no no no. Decline all the way. If they keep insisting then I’ll probably give in because it’s the polite thing to do, but if I can, I’ll keep declining.

7. Which of your friends is the wealthiest? Rita. Her grandpa is a former senator and she lives in literally the swankiest neighborhood in Metro Manila; I was a bit intimidated when she invited us to her place for the first time lol. She’s the simplest person I know, too; and that’s my favorite kind of rich.

8. Would you take a high-paying job that you didn’t really like just for the money and benefits? That’s definitely what I plan to do, lmao. At least this is how I know myself now: I have enough money to buy whatever I want, and I’m a happy camper. That may change in a few months or within the next year and I may eventually wanna search for a passion – but for now, it’s the mindset I’m going with when I go job-hunting soon. If I survived four years of college with a very burnt-out, emptied passion for journalism that I thought I had, I could probs do the same in the workplace.

9. Ever stole from anyone? What about stole from a store? What happened? I unknowingly stole a box of crayons from a store back when security equipment wasn’t that rigid yet lmao. I realized I ‘stole’ it because I had it in my hands and not in a paper bag when I walked out, so I immediately went back to pay for it. I’ve never stolen anything from anyone.

10. Do you ever have enough money? I don’t think anyone ever feels this way. Ever heard of billionaires?

Sin 4: Sloth 1. Last thing you procrastinated on? Washing the dishes last night.

2. When you’re at a strip mall and the next store you want to go to is at the other side, do you drive over there instead of take a short walk? It depends how far “the other side” is. <-- Yep pretty much. If it’s literally on the other side of a street, then obviously I’d go walk. But in places like my school which is super big and where ‘other side’ could mean 2 km away, a drive would be more convenient.

3. What’s a typical day off of school and/or work like for you? I’d normally spend the day lazing around on the couch with my dog beside me and lurking around social media.

4. What’s one talent you have that you don’t really work on, even though you have the ability to be good at it? Public speaking, or debating.

5. How many hours of television do you watch a day? I keep Friends as a background noise on Netflix nearly all day because I hate when it gets too quiet around me. As for watching on an actual television, I haven’t used one in years.

6. What about the amount of time you spend on the internet a day? The internet takes up my entire day it’s crazy lol. I kinda need it for everything now.

7. How many hours of sleep do you get a day? Do you sleep in late? It’s always different. I can go anywhere between 3 and 10 hours of sleep. I don’t sleep in often, though.

8. Do you drive to places that are less than three blocks away? I don’t know how big blocks are supposed to be since we don’t use that system here. But yes, I usually drive even though Point A to Point B is very much walkable hahaha. My friends make fun of me a lot for it but I don’t care, at least I don’t get to my destination all sweaty and smelling like the sun.

9. When was the last time you exercised? November, on my last PE class.

10. Ever copied and pasted your homework from a website on the internet? I never did this. My schools always emphasized the consequences of plagiarism so as someone who always stuck by the rules, I always made sure I at least paraphrased the content I see on the internet.

Sin 5: Wrath 1. If you could kill one person and get away with it, would you do it? I know it’s pretty dark to come from such a place, but I’ve always thought death is an easy way out for people who’ve done awful things. I could answer this question with a name of a corrupt politician, rapists, or animal abusers, but tbh they don’t deserve the sweet escape of death, even if it were from murder.

2. Is there anyone you honestly and truly can say that you hate? Anybody who has hurt cats and dogs.

3. Is there anyone you want revenge on, whether you want to get them back big-time or just play a little prank on them for hurting your feelings? Like I said, I’d daydream about getting revenge just to satiate my desire for it, but I think it’s pretty childish and downright cartoonish to actually go through with it. I’ve only ever seen people getting petty revenge in movies, but it seems a bit stupid in real life.

4. Are you fighting with any friends right now? Why? No. The most that’s happened was me kinda scolding Andrew for not letting me know beforehand that he submitted our thesis proposal to our prof through VIBER, which is incredibly unprofessional and I definitely let him know what I thought about it. I didn’t fight with him though.

5. Last time you were really angry? What happened? The aforementioned thesis prof letting me know we’re missing a part of our thesis on the last day for profs to submit their grades. That meant that however early we submitted a revision, she wouldn’t have been able to give it a mark anyway. That definitely pissed me off, especially considering that she was silent for two weeks and didn’t give back any comments which made us think we were good to go.

6. When you’re angry, what do you do to calm yourself down? I watch Friends or any one of my favorite YouTubers so I can have some relief. Other times, I’d force myself to sleep.

7. “Hate is just the fear of loving someone.” true or false? No. That makes no sense to me.

8. What’s the best revenge you ever got on someone? Never done this before.

9. Was there any hard feelings after your last break-up? On whose end was it on? There were definitely hard feelings in the beginning because she executed the breakup so poorly and I thought I didn’t deserve any of the treatment I was getting, and I was also mad that I wasted my time for that long only for her to break up with me in the end.

10. Ever been cheated on? How did that make you feel? No.

Sin 6: Envy 1. Is there anyone you’re jealous of? Name a person and tell us why. Envious is the better word, and I feel this way towards anybody who live with both parents. My dad’s worked overseas all my life, and as grateful as I am for his sacrifices, having a dad at home is more foreign sensation to me than the idea of having a dad who’s gone for 4-6 months a year.

2. List three physical features some other people have that you’re envious of (no need to get specific and name people; you can just say something like “brown eyes” or “having perfect eyebrows”). Straight teeth, fixed eyebrows, legs that don’t need much shaving.

3. List three personality features that other people have that you’re envious of. Confidence, independence... is privilege a personality trait lol?

4. Are you a jealous significant other? I can be. I don’t make a big deal about being jealous as much as I did two or three years ago anymore though.

5. Could you date someone who was really jealous? Gab can be a little jealous but for the most part it’s endearing because it’s never turned into abuse.

6. What celebrity’s looks do you envy the most? Audrey Hepburn.

7. Do you think anyone is envious of you? In your opinion, what characteristics (physical and mental) do you possess that you think someone might be envious of? Being in a long-term relationship, definitely. A lot of people my age want significant others so bad, and I know this because a good chunk of them post the same wish over and over on social media lol.

8. What are a few things you wish you were good at? Drawing, playing an instrument, dancing ballet, changing a car tire, COOKING.

9. Did you ever date someone, break up, and then see them dating someone very attractive a few days later? Were you jealous of that person? This has never happened to me.

10. When looking at a love interest’s exes, do you often find yourself jealous of their good-looking exes? I haven’t had to do this, because I was Gab’s first. I wouldn’t want to fixate on exes if I were in a different situation, though.

Sin 7: Pride 1. What’s something you brag about a lot (be honest–we all brag sometimes)? My school is easy bragging rights. Everybody wants to be in UP.

2. What physical features do you take the most pride in? My body figure in general. Also my fingers, legs, and jawline.

3. Are you satisfied with what you have? Yeah but as the above questions have made it clear, I can always use more money lol.

4. Be honest… when someone is telling you something, do you often change the subject so it’s about you and your accomplishments instead? NEVER. That’s one of the worst things anyone can do. I feel like I used to do this when I was younger, then it just hit me one day about how tasteless it can be so ever since then I’ve let other people hype themselves up and be excited about accomplishments or new things in their life as much as they want with me, as long as they aren’t being so conceited.

5. Do you like talking about your achievements? If I’m in a group and we started sharing our achievements then yeah I’d join in. But I wouldn’t bring it up if it wasn’t already being brought up. It’s better to let the accomplishments speak for themselves.

6. Do your parents tend to brag about how well you came out? My mom is definitely more ~braggier than my dad, but she’s never come off as an asshole about it. If she was, I’d pull her aside.

7. Do you strive to be better than others? Do you think competing with others is healthy? I keep a mindset of competing with others, but I keep it internal.

8. What do you do better than most people? See the little details. I’m always surprised at how most of the people I work with just look at the big picture – like how they don’t pay attention to the red squiggle under misspelled words on a group paper (or if they do see it, they don’t do anything about it), or how they don’t seem to care about proper spacing on a Powerpoint and proceed to just dump a bunch of text on one slide. Now this is something I can brag about too, cos a lot of people are just so not detail-oriented lol.

9. Do you believe in taking pride in things you can’t control (ex. being proud of your heritage, being proud of your skin color, being proud of your natural artistic ability)? I don’t see why that’s an issue.

10. Who are you competing with right now (it could be anything–classmates for a grade, co-workers for a position, other girl for a guy, etc.)? There’s no particular person, but like I said, I’m always in this perpetual mindset of wanting to compete with others just so I’m more motivated to perform well and get things done.

[togetherkru]

the 100 ask game            

tagged by @pendragaryen. Thank you again 😘 , I told you it would take some time ;-). But I did it !!

1. What station on the Ark would you be from?

Farm station... Or Alpha, maybe.

2. What would you get arrested for on the Ark?

Hum. Would I get arrested on the Ark ?

3. Would you take off your wristband when you landed on the ground?

No, probably not.

4. What would the necklace Finn would make for you look like? (Clarke: deer/Raven: a raven duh..)

A flower I think. Ok it’s a bit difficult, but that would do it for me.

5. If you could resurrect any MINOR character who would it be?

yeah, just like @pendragaryen Zoe Monroe. Her charachter had such a potential...A wasted potential.

6. Create a squad of 5 characters to go on missions with. Who are they?

Bellamy, Clarke, Monty, Octavia, Finn or Raven. It depends on the moment of the mission :D

7. What Grounder Clan would you belong to you?

Trishanakru.

8. What would your name be in Trigedasleng? (example: Octavia=Okteivia…just make it up!)

Um... Well it’s not very convincing, but something like Steifani (??) kom Trishanakru.

9. Thoughts on Finn? Some people hate him, and others love him, so I’m curious

Well I found the character interesting : someone who seems to be kind, and good, and sometimes he really was (In Murphy’s Law, when he arrives and protects Charlotte, I found him nice...). BUT, in the end, he was hypocrital and manipulative.

10. Be honest. How willing would you have been to take the chip without knowing all the horrible things it does?

I'm not sure I would have been so attracted to the chip. I'm pretty down to earth.

11. What character do you relate to most?

Clarke. I like her resilience and her selflessness.

12. What character do you like the least?

Jaha, for sure, even though I loved the actor and his performance. But I find the character of Jaha full of contradictions and cold.

13. Describe your delinquent outfit. (Would you wear something like Murphy’s jacket with the spikey red shoulder patch or have a trademark like Jasper’s goggles? Be creative, yet practical)

Something like Harper ? So a  leather jacket, jeans probably. And something in the hair.

14. Favorite type of mutant animal?

Phosphorescent butterflies ? Not original, I know.

15. What would your job be on the Ark?

I’m a teacher, and I really appreciated the scenes with Pike on the Ark. So a teacher, probably. A professor of earthly history, lol.

16. Would you have willingly pumped Ontari’s heart if Abby asked?

Nope. I would have fainted.

17. If Lexa wasn’t Heda, but she was still alive then who would have made the best commander?

I don’t really understand the question. It has to be a nightblood, right ? Do we know many ?

18. How would you act if you ate the hallucinogenic nuts like Jasper and Monty?

I’d probably be laughing a lot and I'd sound rather stupid.

19. How would you have dealt with Charlotte’s crime? A more John Murphy approach or Bellamy Blake approach?

Surely a Bellamy approach.

20. Who should have been the Chancellor, if anyone?

Kane definitely. He’s such a good character, who learns from his mistakes.

21. Would you have been on Pike’s side like Bellamy or on Kane’s side? Or Clarke in Polis?

I must admit I hope to be on Kane's side. But can we really know without being in a real equivalent situation? Can we really know what the “right” side is ?

22. Mount Weather had a lot of modern commodities. (example: Maya’s Ipod) What is the one thing you would snatch while there?

The Ipod. A way to listen to music. Cool.

23. What would your Grounder tattoos look like? Hairstyle? War paint?

tattoos that would look like plants. A vegetable motif. On the arms and the neck.

24. Favorite quote?

Harper’s sentence “everyone dies, Monty. Let’s show them how to live” moves me every-single-time. And I think Clarke (and Bellamy) need to learn how to live (not to “survive”), need to let go. That’s why, I think, it’s a very good summery of the show.

But I also like Kane’s statement: “It’s not to late to choose the right side” (see question 21).

25. If all of the characters were in the Hunger Games, who would have the best shot at winning?

I would go with Luna or Octavia here. That’s what we saw in the show.

26. Least favorite ship? Favorite canon ship? Favorite non canon ship? NOT INCLUDING CL OR BC OR BE

Least fave: I don’t really have one. I watch and enjoy the show.

Fave canon: Marper (sigh) and Linctavia (sigh).

Fave non-canon: Raven-Murphy.

27. A song that should be included in the next season? If there had to be another guest star like Shawn Mendes on the show, who would you want to make a cameo?

That’s really difficult. Wow.

But I fell in love with a video from @teamhodgins (<3), with the song Chariot (Jacob Lee). I don't think it fits the atmosphere of the show, but it fits Bellarke SO WELL. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OiZSIFXAf0E

28. What would you do if you were stuck in the bunker with Murphy for all that time?

With Murphy ??? I’d probably kill myself. Or kill him...

29. You’re an extra that gets killed off. How do you die?

Like Lincoln ? Sacrificing myself for others ? That would be cool.

Or I would probably have died of some kind of infection as a result of a poorly treated injury. Not a heroic death, then.

30. A character you’d like to learn more about and get flashbacks of?

Not a popular opinion, perhaps, but I want to know Echo better.

31. A character you’d bang?

Um. That IS a popular opinion... Bellamy of course. Or Clarke. Or both.

32. Would you stay in the Bunker? Go up to Space? Or live on your own in Eden?

Definitely Eden.

I’m afraid of Space, and the Bunker ??? Is that even a question ?

33. In the Bunker, would you follow Octavia? What would you do to pass the time underground?

Well I wouldn’t be in the Bunker (question 32).

34. What crime would you commit in the Bunker that lands you in the fighting pits?

Well I wouldn’t be in the Bunker (question 32).

35. Up in Space, who would you bond with first? Who would be the most difficult for you to get along with?

Aah. I would bond easily with Marper, and with Bellamy, Raven and probably Emori. It would be hard for me with Murphy. I think I could get along with Echo of Season 5..

36. How long do you think you would last on Earth by yourself?

Not long.

37. When the Eligius ship lands what do you do?

hide and observe. Like Clarke, but without the riffle. At least I hope so.

38. Favorite Eligius character? Least favorite?

Diyoza, because, you know, “I like her style”. Least fave: Vincent. So creepy.

39. Would you Spacewalk?

Noooo. Space is far too dangerous.

40. Would you prefer to eat Windshield Bugs, Space Algae, or Bunker Meat?

Space Algae. But as I said, I wouldn’t be in space. That’s why I wouln’t live long (question 36) LOL.

41. Would you start a war for the last spot of green on earth? What would your solution be to avoid it?

I’m a teacher, so I have to be diplomatic. I would negotiate for everyone, of course.

42. Would you rather dig out flesh-eating worms or stick thumb drives into bullet holes?

??? Maybe it’s a little less dangerous with stick thumb drives into bullet holes ? (I can’t even believe I wrote this)

43. Are you willing to poison your sister for the Traitor Who You Love? What would you do to stop Octavia?

For the Traitor Who I Love, yes, maybe. That’s hard... But I don’t think there was another solution at this point. I can’t even find something else to do...

44. Would you go to sleep in cryo or stay awake like Marper?

Good question. Even with the Love of my life... a lifetime, it’s very long. So probably cryo.

45. Who are you waking up first to explore the new planet?

Bellamy, Clarke, Raven, Abby. Diyoza too. I like it spicy.

That was fun. Long but fun 😄. I’m tagging (if they didn’t do it already, of course /or if they want to) : @geekyogicheese, @natassakar, @katersann , @emmyisgrey , @yourereallyhere, @bellarkespace , @historyandships , @lameblake and anyone who wants to !

[ashleysouniqueblog]

A Guide on “How To” Habana

If you came across this blog post, you may already have found out that planning a trip to Cuba from America is not the easiest task. There is not much information online and the information that is online conflicts. This may be since some of the information is 4-5 years old and things there are in the development stages. I too had a hard time finding information and this is what made me determined to pass on real experiences and suggestions.

 My trip to Havana, Cuba was a full 3 days, from Thursday to Sunday. I planned this trip for myself along with 12 others. So here are some key takeaways:

1.       Flights: In order to a book a flight to Cuba from America you have to fall into one of the 12 OFAC Categories. All airlines require you to choose one before being allowed to book the flight. Make sure that you choose correctly as you will be asked again when it’s time to check in and when you land in Cuba. Also, Visas must be purchased at check in or at the gate they can range anywhere from $20 to $100 depending on the airline and departure city.

·       Visiting family

·       Humanitarian projects or to provide support to the Cuban people

·       Official business of the U.S. government, foreign governments and certain intergovernmental organizations

·       Journalistic activities

·       Professional research

·       Educational activities by persons at academic institutions

·       People to people travel

·       Religious activities

·       Public performance, clinics, workshops, athletic or other competitions and exhibitions

·       Authorization to provide travel services, carrier services and remittance forwarding services

·       Activities of private foundations, research or educational institutes

·       Exportation of certain Internet-based services

 2.       Housing: Booking an Airbnb instead of staying in a hotel falls under OFAC “Support for The Cuban People” also if you do choose to stay in a hotel make sure it is not on the U.S. Department of State Restricted List. Quality Airbnb’s tend to get booked quick so make sure you are giving yourself time to life the life you want to while in Cuba. Make sure you communicate with the house host as some houses have strict rules. For example, you may not be able to bring outside food or drinks into the home, no guests can come to the house, no parties, no loud music, men may not be able tot sleep in the same room, etc.

 Due to my group of people being over 10 people the options we had for Airbnb’s were off the back limited as we later found out that the city does not accommodate large groups very well. Furthermore, I found an Airbnb called “Blue Mansion Hostel My Way”. This home had none of the house rules as above and the host was more than accommodating while communicating with me before I booked. La Casa Blue Mansion Airbnb pictures does not do this house any justice. This house was beautiful and huge we had more than enough space!! Online it says that there were double beds in most rooms then 6 single beds split between 2 bedrooms. When we got there the single beds were Queen sized and the double beds were King sized. Everyone in my group had their own bed, and even some had their own room. Every bedroom had separate bathrooms and ample towels etc. There was 24/7 security, house cooks and waitstaff were on standby for whatever you may need, or request. This is a very clean family house and it has a very cultured feel. My group spent a lot of time in the many patio areas around the pool or in the bar club area that also had a pool table. We were very pleased.

 3.       Currency: Visa, Mastercard, American Express or any other debit/credit card is not accepted in Cuba so bring enough cash with you for your entire trip. US dollars is hit with an extra conversion penalty and lose value dramatically is you convert directly from USD to CUC. Therefore, we converted USD to EUR prior to our flights, then converted from EUR to CUC once we landed in Cuba.

 Cuba has 2 currencies: CUC and CUP. You should always get CUC as it is more widely accepted, and CUC has the higher value. For instance, CUC is 1 to 1 to USD/EUR/CAD (roughly), while CUP is 1 to 25 USD/EUR/CAD. CUC is what we seen prices in tourist areas listed, while businesses that displayed CUP were in neighborhoods. Of course, food was cheaper in neighborhoods.

 How much to bring? We were there for 3 days converted between $500-1,000 USD and once the trip was over we pretty much converted most of it back. It’s safe to bring more than what you’ll expect to spend just in case. Also, if you save your receipt from exchange centers in the airport, within 30 days they allow you to convert back without a fee at the same rate you purchased.

 4.       Airport Experience: When you first land in Cuba, you will be outside and will walk into the building. The customs agents and TSA are 90% women. Their uniforms are quite interesting as the military style miniskirts and black fishnet stockings fit very sexy. I was pleasantly surprised. Waiting on baggage claim was okay until my bag was literally the last one out on the belt and the moment I grabbed it, agents wanted me to step to a table on the side for an extra check. The bag that I checked was actually school supplies that I was planning to give to the kids at a school near our Airbnb. They were speaking Spanish and I only caught on to key words like “violation”. I was started to wonder why? There was nothing I brought that was against the law, just folders, composition notebooks, crayons, markers, and chalk. As they checked the pages on the notebooks they had all my friends who were waiting close the door come back to scan all of our bags through a metal detector. Shortly after, they let us go. Weird.

 5.       Airport Transportation: We booked airport transportation through our house because several of us took different flights and landed at different times. The house had someone waiting with a sign at every single one of our flights. Airport Taxis literally wait in the airport line all day to get someone who is going into the city, not from one terminal to the other. So, keep that in mind for your departure date because it will be hard to find a ride from one terminal to another.

 6.       Taxis: Taxis in the city are cheap. You’ll be fine but ask how much before you ride off with them so that you aren’t shocked by the rate. We allowed our house to organize taxis to and from the city and club. We were dropped off at different meeting points and gave him a time to pick us up. He was always on time.

 7.       WiFi: Most American cell phone plans do not work in Cuba. So as soon as you touch down you most likely will not be able to contact anyone. Hotels and Wifi parks sell WiFi cards $2 for an hour of online activity. Two guys in my group found a park and waited in a long line to get one.  The rest of us did not see any of the WiFi parks. Some people were able to make calls from there cell at $2.49 a minute, but they could not receive a call. We were there for 3 days so soon after we stopped worrying about being able to get on social media and focused on enjoying the time and people that were right in front of us. If you are anything like me, be prepared, plan ahead. Download Maps.Me and download the Havana, Cuba offline map. Also, take screen shots of restaurants, addresses, important information, flight information, etc. as it is very likely you will not have connectivity.

 8.       Giving back to the Cubano kids: I planned a school drive as a form of giving back to the Cuban kids. We all brought supplies we thought may be scarce or just needed to be replaced to give to them. With the help of our Airbnb host we were able to get the Principal of a local school (I will not name the school) to allow us into the school to give the kids supplies. They were happy children with big bright smiles in their uniforms. This warmed my heart.

9.       Restaurants: Most dishes we found in Cuba of course were seafood. But you were able to find chicken, salads, and pizza as well. I won’t detail all of them but 2 in particular. There is the O’Reilly 304 Gin Bar and Restaurant. We were all completely amazed by the bartender and all of his concoctions of drinks. We also met the manager Julio we completely accommodated us and had a million stories to tell of U.S. celebrities who has stopped by his spot. One thing I must say is that we were wondering what was taking so long with our food and soon after Julio and another guy comes in with fresh veggies and a string line of fish just caught out the ocean! Not to mention the food was seasoned very well! Make sure you try the salsa for the plantains, you will not be disappointed. Another day we went to Del Mar beach but met at Rachon Don Pepe, a beach hut restaurant. There drinks were $2.50 each! If you find yourself in the area stop by and get the lobster tail and boiled shrimp with hot sauce! There is also a pinacoloda spot next door that will completely give you beach vibes.

 10.   Beaches: The most popular beach that everyone says to go to is Veradero. This beach is 3 hours out of the city. Planning this trip, I did not want to have to commute 6 hours for anything, so I did some research on other beaches and found Del Mar. ‘Playa Estes Del Mar” was absolutely perfect!!! We all fell in love from the moment we walked up a sand hill and got to the top and saw the crystal-clear water and warm smooth sand. If I could I would go back just to have another day on that beach.

 11.   Cuban People: I’m not sure if I just didn’t know what to expect Cubans to look like but they look like us! The country is full of beautiful black and brown people! I absolutely loved the looks. Everyone we encountered either did not say anything to us or was very nice and talkative. I believe they are just as curious of us as we are with them. A lot of Cubans are artists, I was not expecting so much beautiful art! If you have the chance stop by the market and bring extra cash to buy some timeless pieces of art and paintings.

 12.   Night Life: Our first night in town we went to a place by the name of “Mio y Tuyo”, drinks and food was cheap, and they had a good DJ with the videos to the songs playing in the background. We found out later that is place is someone’s home. They made the first floor of their home into a club. Cool right? Our second night, we went to “Fabrica de Arte Cubano”. This place is about 7 clubs in one big building with patios. Each club played a different type of music but all of them made you want to stop and dance. All throughout the building was a display of art from local artists, which I absolutely loved. The bartenders make all the drinks hand crafted and none of the mixers come from machine. Everything was from fresh ingredients. The 3rd night we were going to go to “Fantasy” but we ended up throwing a party for ourselves in our Airbnb club (the house seriously has its own club).

 13.   Tours: Book the Vinales Cigar rolling and Horseback riding tour, it’s an all-day tour but is worth it, so plan to have 1 full day of your trip there. If you are short on time as we were, there is a Cigar Factory and Rum tour in the city that is roughly 3 hours, and they are only open on weekdays. If you book an Airbnb, allow the house host to book the tours for you as they have direct contacts to these businesses. But I do recommend not to pre-book the old American car tours. Online prices were average $45 per person, while walking up to them and negotiating they quoted 60 CUC per car (split between 3-4 people in each car) for a city tour and to drop us off at a Restaurant in Del Mar (30-40min out the city).

 14.   Time is not of the essence in Cuba as it is in America. They are not in a rush to do anything. If you set a time for your taxi to pick you up and you are not ready they will wait on you. You cannot pay to skip the line at the club (trust me we tried to offer $$$), you must wait in line. There is no quick bite to eat as all the food is made to order and the drinks are handcrafted with detail. So, find some patience.

  I hope my tips help you and yours enjoy your trip! Follow my group and our tags on IG: @AshleySoUnique @Wolf_of_Peachtree @DrCarlaMoore @Corrien3 @__Jayalessia @_miamor @_meaganh @Supreme.bliss @modernmillennia @teddy_atl @blkgrl_ashley @lala_kki @quinashai_chelette

[eponymous-rose]

Talks Machina Highlights - Critical Role C2E4 (Feb 6, 2018)

Oh no.

Tonight’s guests are Sam Riegel, Liam O’Brien, and Marisha Ray!

New opening sequence by @wendydoodles! In true episode-50 fashion, they play it twice in a row because it’s so much fun.

Ashley accidentally calls Brian during the show, so he picks up and puts her on speakerphone.

Announcements: issue four of Vox Machina: Origins is out, the podcast will be updated with episode 4 on Thursday, tomorrow at 9:30 Pacific is a new G&S show called Weave Society (a team-up of Mines N Crafts and AXYB).

@critrolestats for episode 4!

Nott has stolen 8 items since the campaign began. Liam adds to the list: “The audience’s heart.”

20% of die rolls in this episode were single-digit even after mods. By comparison, episode 3 was only 17%. By further comparison, C1E114 was only 3.9%. Le-vel two! Le-vel two!

Sam and Liam get kicked out while Brian asks Marisha questions about her solo scene last week. The show briefly turns into Marisha and Brian dissing Sam’s clothes.

Marisha had pretty much decided on the Cobalt Soul route ahead of time, since it was part of her backstory: running away from the Cobalt Reserve monks.

There was some temptation to say no to the offer, especially when the speeches got a bit more flowery. Marisha: “Beau was sitting there like *jerk-off motion*.” It took the punch to really get her attention.

Marisha is a little concerned that the group is starting to view Beau as a liability (in a different way than Keyleth was), but she also points out that pretty much the whole group is a liability right now. She thinks it makes sense for Matt to pull in Beau’s backstory first, just to give her a more profound reason to stick around.

Beau is partly just trying to learn new moves, but she’s also motivated by her new mentor being a “hot elf monk”.

Beau’s "fuck-it” attitude is partly related to some deeper backstory stuff, but also motivated in part by rebellion against her rich dad.

Gif of the week: Matt losing it over Nott’s zero-deception roll.

All Sam and Liam know about Beau’s scene was a muffled yell of “I’M GONNA PUNCH YOUR FACE” and two natural twenties. Liam suspects Matt and Marisha were just paying bills. Marisha: “In our new segment sponsored by H&R Block...”

Sam has been rewearing his shirts in order from the first campaign, but he was absent in episode 5, so now he’s not sure what to do. He likes the idea of going topless, but “we want to retain viewers”. Marisha suggests a chroma key green shirt that can be photoshopped at will.

Sam is impressed that so much of the party managed to buy drugs four episodes in when it took Scanlan so long. Liam: “I guess you’re just bad at Dungeons & Dragons.”

Caleb knew he and Nott would be able to fake their way through the bathhouse with confidence. Sam: “Do you have a wealthy past?” Liam: “No, I’m a mermaid werewolf.”

Sam thinks that Jester’s backstory is that there is no backstory. It’s all just on the surface.

Art of the week: a gorgeous boulder-parchment-shears attack for Beau.

The intense focus on bathing was originally to mess with Laura, but now Liam’s coming up with a justification for it. There is absolutely no salt whatsoever over the cast latching onto the stinky thing to the extent they did. Not even a little bit. Nope.

Nott is not especially enthused about water.

Marisha has had fencing, stage combat, Krav Maga, little bit of taekwondo, boxing, tai chi, bo staff, quarterstaff, European fighting stick. She’s interested in different fighting styles and how they came about.

Liam and Sam share their different stories about how Sam picked goblin rogue. Sam: “I feel like we’re in a fight.” Liam: “All I hear is aerators.”

Caleb saved Nott’s life in the prison they escaped from; Sam emphasizes that Nott is extremely concerned about his well-being. “She’s seen him almost die a bunch. He is dainty.”

Liam and Matt have talked about specific spells Caleb’s interested in, including a tiny bit of homebrew. Sam asks if the new spells he learned are a part of what he’s been working towards. Liam, avoiding the question entirely: “Hmm. Interesting.”

Caleb and Nott have been "getting fucked up running shitty little cons for a while now.” Caleb’s been wanting to find people who were level-headed and could help out, and so, failing that, he gravitated towards Fjord as someone who at least seems a bit more rational (”I know he’s an asshole too”). He’s also excited to get a chance to riff off Travis more often in this campaign. The words “actor boner” come up and are inevitably mined for high comedy.

Sam mentions that we’ve seen a bit of Nott’s personality quirks that made her an outcast from her particularly bloodthirsty clan of goblins, but any further details of her backstory will play out in the game.

Sam reveals that Nott has been gifted flowers in the past. Brian: “What was her reaction?” Sam: “She ate them.”

Talks Machina Popcorns Machina on Alpha:

Everything is temporarily derailed when Marisha swats a fly into her drink.

There is already half-werewolf half-mermaid art of Caleb from earlier in the show.

Items from the last campaign they wish they had? Liam wants the Displacement Cloak. Sam wants the Tome of Leadership so Nott can get some charisma (it would put her all the way up to 7). Marisha points out that Keyleth was going to use it after a hundred years, so Liam starts plotting a heist... where they’ll have to wait 80 years after stealing it to use it. Sam: “Oh wait, goblins only live 45 years.” Marisha wants an Immovable Rod. Sam wants a Bag of Holding. Marisha wants the healing potions she didn’t use last time.

Marisha on the women in the party having the highest strength scores: “It’s dope as fuck.”

Bad travel habits: Caleb will want to go to bookstores constantly. Everyone agrees that Jester’s the kind of person who’ll want to stop every time she sees anything remotely interesting.

Sam and Liam are both having a really hard time picking their options for level 3. Marisha’s a little more laid-back: “Combat class!” She already knows what she’s doing.

Things, as they do, get a little out of hand when Sam suggests a key party. Liam gets up and leaves the studio. Sam: “You said we could make a snuff film!” Brian, talking over the Geek and Sundry logo at the end: “PLEASE END IT.” It’s about par for the course, really.

[blouisparadise]

Although pretty much all of our fic recs are for Louis/Harry fics, we recently received a request for a non-Larry bottom Louis fic rec list. In order to make that anon and whoever else may be interested in this happy, this list features fics with Louis/Liam, Louis/Zayn, Louis/Nick, Louis/Niall, Louis/Luke, and Louis/Greg. And after this, it’s back to our usual Louis/Harry fics.

There is a second part to this rec list that has been posted here. Check it out!

1) And Then Relief | Liam/Louis | Explicit | 2050 words

The first time Louis kneels for Liam is almost an accident.

2) Longer Night | Luke/Louis | Explicit | 2067 words

What happened after the 'Long day' photo was taken? Probably this.

3) Rough Trade | Liam/Louis | Explicit | 3328 words

It was Liam, wearing those boots and filthy fucking jeans slung tight around his hips and loose everywhere else, like they were meant for him. To say nothing of the sleeveless situation and black fingerless-gloves and his, frankly, unfair arms.

4) And I’m Walking In | Liam/Louis | Explicit | 3344 words

“What do you want?” Liam asks, moving them back to the bed, pressing Louis down and looking at him. He quirks his eyebrow, runs a hand down Louis’ chest. “We’ve got all night, you know.”

Louis swallows. “I thought—thought you said something about fucking me?” His voice cracks on the last word. He’d be embarrassed but Liam’s just pulled his shirt off and tossed it to the side, and fuck, that’s always the sexiest thing Louis has ever seen. “Getting your mouth on me?” he finishes, a whisper in Liam’s ear.

5) If You Ask Me To | Zayn/Louis | Explicit | 3698 words

Zayn and Louis are friends who fuck. It's nice.

6) Baby Go On Twist The Knife | Zayn/Louis | Explicit | 4390 words

Zayn left the band without a word to Louis about it. After three years of being in a relationship Louis had expected more, so when Zayn had tried to get into contact with him afterwards Louis had felt very justified in ignoring every single one of his texts and phone calls. But it's been months now and Louis knows he needs to start getting closure on what happened between them, and when he goes to Zayn's house to collect all the things he'd left behind he ends up accidentally falling back into bed with him and realising that maybe he isn't ready to let go.

7) Clearly Intended For You | Liam/Louis | Explicit | 4455 words

“Look, you’re in university! It’s like the time for you to, y’know, experiment and try anal once or nine times,” Louis says in what he thinks is a comforting, calming voice.

8) When It Gets Loud, I Turn It Up | Greg/Louis | Explicit | 5405 words

Louis and Greg have a dinner party. People think he's the cute little boyfriend... but truly he's slightly slutty (but only for Greg). When all the guests go home, Greg carries him upstairs. :)

9) Taste Too Good | Greg/Nick/Louis | Explicit | 5609 words

Note: This is locked and can be read by AO3 users only.

When they pull back for air, Louis is panting.  “God,” he breathes, lips pink and wet and parted, pupils already blown.  “Is that that, then, or do you want to fuck on Grimmy’s bed?”

10) And When I Hit That Dip Get Your Camera | Liam/Louis | Explicit | 5719 words

He's pretty well known in the industry at this point and he likes to say with a certain amount of nail shining and hair flicking that he’s kind of a gay household porn star name now. (Louis is a gay porn star, Liam's strapped for cash and agrees to make a gayforpay video - basically PWP.)

11) Flawless | Greg/Louis | Explicit | 5732 words

Greg has a thing for Louis and his flawless body.

12) One Shift At A Time | Liam/Louis | Explicit | 6372 words

Liam's first few months on the job in the paediatric ward as a junior doctor would be easier if the head nurse didn't hate him. They would probably be even better if he could do anything about the hopeless crush on said nurse.

13) Wild Is A Fire | Nick/Louis | Explicit | 6653 words

Nick has a kink. Louis uses it to his advantage.

14) Anything You Can Do, I Can Do Better Than You | Nick/Louis | Explicit | 7991 words | Sequel

Basically, Louis and Nick have grumpy sex and ignore their feelings.

15) I'm Just A Reader, You're Every Chapter | Zayn/Louis | Explicit | 8274 words

Zayn and Louis are uni roommates, Zayn may have a crush, and Louis can't handle it.

16) Nothing You Can Fake | Nick/Louis | Explicit | 8742 words

Nick is not sure what Louis Tomlinson is doing at the Breakfast Show’s one year anniversary celebration.

17) And I have Promises To Keep, Miles To Go Before I Sleep | Nick/Louis | Explicit | 9042 words

“Also… grateful if you don’t cum and tell.” Louis keeps going with his fingers, now dancing dangerously close to Nick’s crotch and Nick is hard, he is really fucking hard and it’s not nice of Louis to tease him this much, especially not in a bloody bathroom belonging to Harry Styles of all people. “Because I don’t usually do this you know, and I don’t need a reputation of getting to the place I am today by spending time on my knees.”

18) Something Personal | Nick/Louis | Mature | 10570 words

Nick is a young, renown neurosurgeon. Harry is his worker-minion. Liam is Harry's new boyfriend. Louis is Harry's best friend and an absolutely wretched little monster, and Nick is stupidly, stupidly in love with him.

19) He Walks Like A God | Liam/Louis | Explicit | 10754 words | Sequel

Fame hit faster than one of Liam’s fists and Louis didn’t want to duck the punch.

With Liam’s rising fame after every fight Louis doesn’t want to be left behind for all the glitz and glamour by the best friend he secretly loves with all his heart.

Hopefully one of those knocks to the head will make Liam realise that the person who was made for him has been standing in front of him since they were 10 years old.

20) You and Me, Baby | Nick/Louis | Explicit | 11455 words

Three or four days, stuck in a cabin alone with Louis Tomlinson. Honestly, Nick doesn't know what he did to deserve this bad karma, but he hopes it was worth it.

21) Not A Bloody Thing | Nick/Louis | Explicit | 14875 words | Sequel

This thing that Nick has with his intern's friend really isn't a big deal.

22) Get Another Coal On The Fake Fire | Nick/Louis | Explicit | 16452 words

Note: This is locked and can be read by AO3 users only.

In Louis’ defense, this had seemed like a smashing idea with high potential for success six weeks ago when he’d first thought of it. // “I get that you’re jealous and all,” Zayn adds, “because—we all get it, yeah? Harry’s got like a million mates now outside of the band and he’s never around when we’re home—but it has never occurred to me that this problem might be solved by one of us sucking Grimmy’s dick.”

23) I’m Not Looking For A Lover | Zayn/Louis | Explicit | 20006 words

Zayn has recently come into possession of a fortune he wants little to do with and time he doesn't know how to waste. And then there's Louis, someone who can solve both of these problems even though he has his own load of baggage. They meet in New York.

24) Nothing Is More Fantastic. Nothing Is More Tragic | Nick/Louis | Mature | 20162 words

After the Breakfast Show and after One Direction, Nick and Louis find themselves in the same place at the same time.

The place is Paris.

25) Heart Out On My Sleeve | Niall/Louis Explicit | 29277 words

After Zayn drops out of Hogwarts just before their last year in Slytherin, Louis is left adrift. In a high-level Charms class tasked with finishing the rebuilding of the castle, he strikes up an unlikely friendship with Niall Horan of Hufflepuff, and learns more than he expected along the way. (A Harry Potter AU set eight years after the Battle of Hogwarts.)

26) Truly, Madly, Crazy, Deeply | Liam/Louis | Explicit | 29744 words

In which Liam and Louis wake up married after Zayn's bachelor party in Las Vegas.

27) Set the Pace | Nick/Louis | Explicit | 34052 words

It's not always easy, but sometimes it's harder than it has to be. University meets Radio 1 AU.

28) Under Me, So Quite New | Liam/Louis | Explicit | 34135 words

Liam knows what Louis needs, even when Louis doesn’t.

29) We Were Good (Almost Perfect) | Zayn/Louis | Explicit | 40863 words

Zayn doesn't want to leave on a bad note. A hurt Louis still tries to cut him off completely, but then a baby factors in and changes everything for the better.

30) Not Your Fault But Mine | Nick/Louis | Explicit | 127258 words

It's the beginning of Louis' second year at uni, and he's sharing a house with his four best friends in the world. This is going to be the best fucking year ever, Louis can just tell. The best fucking year ever.

Check out our other fic rec lists by category here and by title here.

[hollywoodx4]

Sticking with the Schuylers (2:1)

Happy birthday, Alexander Hamilton!

Welcome back, and thanks for your patience with my little hiatus! As a birthday celebration we’re starting back with the currently untitled Book 2 of Sticking with the Schuylers, which I’ve decided to do because this series has so much more life in it. 

So I hope you enjoy, because I have a lot of fun plot coming this time around! (There will be a masterpost of Book 1, don’t worry. I’m not about to have a paragraph long list of links on every post)

1  2  3  4   5   6   7   8   9   10   1112   I  13  14   15   16   17   18A  18B   18C  I19   20   21   22   23   24   25  26   27  28   29   I  30  31  32 33 34  35  36  3738  39 40  41  42 I 43  44  B 45 46  47 48 49  50

Tagging: @linsnavi  @workworkbae​ @adothoe @oosnavi​

Warnings: This story is pretty heavy on mentions of both physical and emotional abuse

               “Angelica is the sister everyone wants, but I’m not sure if it’s because of her actual talents as a sister or the fact that she has the ability to scare off anybody that messes with us with a single glance.” There’s laughter; John Church halts his coffee cup before it can reach his lips, Peggy choking down pancakes through her own giggling. Eliza‘s eyes roam around the table, the blissful faces whose eyes are rimmed with sleepless energy, hysterical and bright. The plates are white and the mugs mismatched, the food overwhelmingly fresh although it seems that the diner itself is stuck in a time warp away from the rest of the world. They’re nearly the only inhabitants of the little shack-like building, tucked over in a woodsy stretch of land just on the Canadian border. The only other guests have been larger men, made of muscle and beer bellies and the stark contrast of shepherd’s pie plates and coffee, sugar-drenched French toast and beer and their big rigs parked over multiple white-lined spaces. It’s the Schuylers and their company who are the loudest guests, however, laughing and hollering and stretching their limbs over the table to reach each other’s’ food.

               It was near midnight when they’d stumbled in after the day’s drive and the late afternoon vows, the sunset cruise and dancing under the stars with the pleasant crashing of the falls surrounding them. It was near midnight when, just the night before, the sisters had been sitting on the floor of Angelica’s old bedroom packing her bags for Oxford. They hadn’t wanted to start the process, stalling with a livestream and late night snacks, watching home movies on the larger living room television and reminiscing. Angelica sat behind each of her sisters in turn and played with their hair, styling shower-wet locks with the gentle precision they’d known since childhood. She made them sprawl their feet over old towels while she painted their nails, brushing back piles of folded clothes that had been organized for suitcases and abandoned on her bed. While Eliza had begun the stalling with the insistence to make cookies together, and Peggy had continued it with the livestream, Angelica was the worst of the three. She found ways to fill their time in smaller things; conversations and silence, toying with her phone and listening to the chatter of their parents as they headed to bed. The house was quiet, then, with only the occasional soft-spoken words of the sisters or the settling of the house’s old bones to keep them company. The room glowed with a soft, golden warmth that illuminated gentle smiles, then wide eyes as Angelica’s shadow made its way to her closet.

               Eliza was the first to look up when their oldest sister came back into view. Her jaw dropped.

               Angelica had always seemed to Eliza to be someone with an unattainable air, someone who had drifted through her life on an endless cloud of effortless power. It came along with the title of older sister; the way Eliza had admired her through rose-colored glasses, envied her undeniable confidence, had been something instilled in her from the moment she’d joined the Schuyler family as an infant. It would be hard to see Angelica any other way. In her mind, her older sister is radiant and unapologetic, and always willing to take charge of her own life. As children she’d been Eliza’s defense system. As teenagers, she’d been the one to pick her up after she’d fallen. Throughout their lives Angelica had been the voice of reason, the advice and the knowledge and the power to make everybody believe that she was nothing short of dynamic.

               There was a proof to Eliza’s lifelong theory as Angelica flourished a brilliant white garment in front of her sisters. The fabric was thicker, a satin which rustled as it bounced along on its hanger with a balletic sort of rustling. The grin that played on Angelica’s lips only turned their corner, but reached her eyes with a glint of childlike mischief typically assigned to Peggy’s more playful nature. The younger sisters sat on the edge of the bed and of their curiosity, stared between each other and the dress with raised eyebrows and a lack of the excitement Angelica had been trying to propel toward them.

               “What would you say if I asked you to come to Niagara Falls with me?” The oldest Schuyler whispered, jostled her head so that her hair fell over one shoulder and away from her face. Before her company could answer she floated to the mirror, holding the white silk dress over her thin frame and adjusting its sleeves, the dressing of a paper doll come to life.

               “When?”

               “Now.”

               “Why?” It was Eliza who asked. It was Eliza who’d been staring, taking note of the way her older sister had transcended their world, gone into her own thoughts and disappeared into shining eyes staring longingly in the mirror. It was a face she’s never seen, a dream-like trance that had captured her and kept her in the moment. It created a soundproof bubble, for Eliza had to repeat herself twice before Angelica whirled around, draping the dress over her arm and bounding back to the bed.

               “For my wedding.”

               Whatever noise had been in the room before Angelica had spoken was immediately sucked away, along with the oxygen. Peggy stared, the turn of her facial features the only way of knowing that she had heard what their older sister had said. Her straight-lined lips curved up into a wide smile, wild and toothy. The same glint of mischief sparked her eyes and opened them wider, spread through the organic energy of her gasp, capturing the moment in all of its concentrated excitement. And as that excitement spread though Peggy it traveled from her face. It ran through her hands, which flew to the bed as a crutch to hoist herself up, bound across the small distance to hug Angelica. Her shorter stature was not noticeable, as her voice was loud and her actions boisterous. Peggy held her sister’s hands, squeezed them as she drew out a vision that played though her mind in rapidly paced descriptions of their destination.

               Eliza sat on the edge of the bed. Her hands played with the soft netting of an old blanket, twisting it back and forth just as Angelica had done to her hair just an hour before. Her heart found a rapid pace, her eyes solely on the beautiful garment her sister still held. She was radiant; it’s a fact undisputed in her mind, and one that would surely be accepted by anybody given the chance to live in this moment. She watched as Angelica accepted Peggy’s excitement, let it spill through the silence and fill the room with a glittering yellow jubilation, a pure and unfiltered carbonation of emotion. The bed was comfortable where she sat. The scene was like a movie, playing out in front of her just as it had the entire night. She wasn’t ready to be without her sister for a semester. She wasn’t ready for her sister to take this leap. But then, was their fairness in any of her hesitation?

               “You’re going to elope? As in, mom and dad have no idea that this is going to happen…” She’d let the sentence trail off, an unbelievable notion drifting away, over the cliff of disbelief and into something she could not quite place. Angelica nodded, countered with a sparing glance at her dress before she draped it over the ornate armchair kept by her window. It had been even more stunning by the glow of the moon, illuminated and mystical. But the light could not transfer the mystical, impulsive nature of the night to her, and as Angelica took a place next to her on the bed Eliza shrugged away the hand on her shoulder.

               “Mom and dad are going to be heartbroken, Ange.”

               “Mom and dad will get over it.”

               “I thought you didn’t even want to get married,” She hadn’t meant it to come out as cold as it had. She hadn’t felt anger, or betrayal. The pit of her stomach had been curled into itself all night, the space behind her eyes filled with a soft sort of stinging she’d been blinking away. And with this admission, the filter she’d been hiding had gone away.

               “Mom and dad will be fine.” Angelica repeats the sentiment, eyes brimming with honesty and the talent of making each possibility feel like a guarantee. “When you think about it, isn’t it time we got married? We’ve been together for nine years, Betsey. Nine years tomorrow. We’re getting married here, we’ll be married when we go to London. Do you know how much easier that’s going to make things?”

               “Did you get your paperwork?”

               “He has dual citizenship and I’ll be on a student visa when we’re in London, we won’t have to deal with any separation.”

               “What about a passport? If your name changes are you going to be able to get it processed in time?”

               “Already looked into it-it’ll be okay, Bets. John and I talked about this for a long time before making our decision. Everything’s set in place. I just need you guys to be there, that’s all I want. I don’t want the big wedding they’re going to make me have. I don’t want the publicity, or the need to entertain dad’s friends and all of our old relatives who don’t care about my relationship. I don’t want that at all. I want to be John’s wife, and I want to do it my way.”

               They left just after two in the morning with bags of provisions in tow. Angelica had made them special, one for each of the sisters, and included a new dress for each of them to wear. They picked up John first, who’d been waiting at his and Angelica’s apartment with another small suitcase and a garment bag he hung in the trunk. The girls shuffled their seats to let him drive, and just before the overhead light dimmed Eliza caught the warmth of deep affection in his eyes. It was a moment that felt private, and she turned her gaze to the window as Angelica blushed.

               She hadn’t expected to see the familiar row of buildings; a florist’s shop, a deli, a little bench with just a touch of snow brushed off by an older woman’s habit to feed the birds. She could nearly see Alex’s building, the eighth floor apartment where he’d undoubtedly be the only one awake, sitting at his desk working on another busy caseload. Eliza found her phone in the pocket of her jacket, typed a message to his messy ponytail and restless feet.

               “Okay, now you have to go get Alex.” They’d stopped at the front of his building when Angelica issued her order, pulled Eliza from her own little dream. She gestured to the car door with a nod, as if they’d been notified of each step of this plan beforehand.

               “You’re inviting Alex?”

               “Let me remind you, dear sister, that he was my friend before he was your boyfriend.” She teased her, reaching a hand back to pat Eliza’s hat-clad head. “I wanted a witness who cares about this relationship, someone who likes us and cares about us past the material things we have to offer. John seemed to think he’d be a good choice.”

               “John did?”

               “Well, I did too. And it means something to me that you’ll get to have him there.”

               “This isn’t about me.”

               “Oh, I know that. Why else would we have dragged you from the warmth to travel somewhere  that’s probably at least five degrees colder than the city in the middle of winter?”

               “Angie,”

               “It’s my night, and if I want you to have a little something then I think I should be allowed. And it’s not like it’s weird-he’s going to be my brother anyway, I figure I might as well start treating him like one.”

               Eliza reddened at the prospect, one she’d thought over many times. The streetlights made a job of keeping her diminutive anticipation a secret, although she’d been sure Angelica could see through the shadow of her face turning back toward the window. They were nearing his building, slowing to a stop with the car just barely kissing the sidewalk. Each of the car’s passengers turned their head toward each other, stealing furtive glances at the time and the temperature and the lowered sounds of an acoustic slow song playing through the radio.

               “Treating Alex like a brother means waking him up at three in the morning for a road-trip?” Angelica laughed, a surprised sort of cackle friendly in nature as her dark hair shook along with her head. She pulled out her phone, putting the call on speaker with another wild grin.

               “Oh no, you’re going to wake him up. You know more than any of us that he’s probably still awake anyway-oh, and he is. Good morning, Hamilton.”

               “Are you okay? Why are you calling this late?” Eliza just barely made out the beginning of their conversation as she darted from the car, running to avoid the cold that bit at the exposed skin on her cheeks. By the time she made it to the entrance he’d buzzed her in, and she took her time climbing the stairs to the eighth floor. The sound of his voice on the other line ran through her head, spread its familiar warmth in its crackled morning tones. It was a key to just how late he’d been working again. She decides on the fifth floor to make him sleep in the car, get back some of the vivacity he’d lost through natural remedies instead of the coffee she knew he’d beg to stop for.

               She only had to knock once before the door was open, Alexander standing in the threshold with a toothbrush between his teeth and a garment bag slung over his shoulder. There was an unzipped backpack on the floor by the couch, and Eliza passed by Alex with a kiss on his cheek to shove its contents inside. Her boyfriend was a flurry of motions, running back and forth on tiptoeing feet and throwing miscellaneous items toward Eliza. She’d examined them in turn, wondering exactly where he thought he’d need a Swiss army knife and two Moleskin journals in the duration of this trip. She packed them anyway in a gesture of both knowing and accepting the strangely wired inner workings of his mind. He retreated to the bathroom and came back in a second, this time with his toothbrush in a case and a real kiss for her lips.

               “An elopement?” He was still whispering as he locked the apartment door behind him, taking her hand. He had the same sort of excitement as her sister had, a childlike abandon that wrapped her immediately in its static energy. Suddenly, it did not feel like she’d pulled an all-nighter. As they made their way back outside, the chilling winds woke her further.

               “They wanted to do it before they leave for Oxford. They didn’t want to wait any longer.”

               “I get that.” Alex shrugged, keeping his eyes trained on the door of John’s car as one side of his lips curled up in a smile.  He opened the door for her, flinging his belongings into the trunk and climbing into the window seat. He was greeted as the best man, ‘you know, as far as best men in elopements go’ and the music was blasted, changed to an upbeat pop song from their childhood that had them singing along for the sake of nostalgia.

               “Wait a minute, if you wanted to let Eliza have something for this moment then why couldn’t my something be taking this to the islands? I mean, Niagara Falls in January? Really?”

…

                 Niagara Falls had been an idea born of idyllic pictures and scenery, as well as a sort of secret fame as far as places of elopement Angelica and John had researched. They’d taken to the idea because of its location, still in New York but far enough away that it could be considered a different world than the city. They’d made sure the trip could be done over a weekend, the work and school schedules too hectic to have any other measure of spontaneity. It was also the staff of the chapel who had sealed the deal; Angelica had driven pieces of her more brash and demanding side into them and they’d complied without a single change in timbre. They’d called her when she asked to stop emailing back and forth, worked hard to ensure that they’d have their privacy, and made sure that she was happy with each bit of their service. Driving up to the falls, Angelica held these details at the front of her mind.

               Keeping the positivity was the least she could do to entertain herself during the six and a half hour drive.

               Their passengers had been noisy at first, singing raucously to the music and cheering when they left the city limits. After an hour Peggy had sat with crossed legs in her seat, asking how long it would take to get to the falls.  She wasn’t happy with the realization of a five hour span of time to pass, and insisted that they stop at a drive-through for coffee and donuts. Her smile had been cheeky and bright, and she tapped on the car window with an impatient rhythm born from sitting still far longer than she ever had. John and Angelica both laughed, but John looked into the rearview mirror with an earnest glance and promised they’d pull over as soon as something was open.

               “You know, as a celebration.” Her smile had been cheeky and bright. John pulled into the nearest café while Angelica shook her head, rambling about her future husband’s pushover tendencies as they slid into seats by the window. He wouldn’t let them eat inside the car, so the café had been the next best thing. And at four in the morning, warm donuts and coffee and bathrooms were not a decision any of them regretted.

               At hour three Eliza fell asleep, her head on Alexander’s shoulder and one foot propped over Peggy’s legs. The smooth rolling of tires along the sparse expanse of highway was melodic, as well as the acoustic sunrise playlist John had chosen. Somewhere between a John Mayer song and a guitar duet, there was a rumbling from the backseat that made Alex jump slightly, jostling Eliza’s head. His hand had flown up to keep it on his shoulder, not wanting her to wake up. Peggy began to laugh, a boisterous noise that only worsened as she tried to quiet it. It ended up as a sort of growling, an evidence to the actual laughter stuck in her throat. Alexander soon joined her, unable to fight the infectious nature of her laugh and the humor that came along with trying to keep himself still while in this fit. Angelica, completely turned around in her seat, shushed them both, “on bride’s orders, because lord knows Betsey needs her sleep.”

               But the rumbling happened again, and all four waking passengers couldn’t contain their immediate reaction to Eliza, snoring like a man twice her age and four times her size. Peggy pulled out her camera and grinned, her voice a gentle narration to the scene before her.

               “Happy wedding day to Angelica and John! It’s been three hours in the car and would you look at that, Betsey’s already the life of the party! Three and a half hours to go!”

               “Well, eight until the actual ceremony.”

               “Eight hours and we’ll be married.” John’s words came out in a sigh, content and laced with anticipation as he leaned over to brush a short, sweet kiss on Angelica’s lips. Peggy captured it all, the videography job her consolation prize for being dragged into the cold and on a long car ride on such short notice. She turned the camera to her own face, rolling her eyes and scrunching up her nose in feigned disgust.

               “Let’s hope we can get there without much more of this.”

…

               They had brunch at a buffet restaurant right off of the highway where they stacked plates full of indulgent foods Peggy once again claimed as ‘celebratory.’ She’d taken to the word as a beacon of the trip, tagging it onto anything the others didn’t seem like they’d wanted to do. This included two extra celebratory bathroom stops, one of which where Eliza had still been sleeping. They’d tried to wake her up but she’d mumbled and curled up on the seat, and so they’d taken turns staying with her in the car so their legs could be stretched.

               Niagara Falls was vastly different than any of them had expected; being dragged there once as younger children hadn’t left much of a memory for the sisters, and neither John nor Alex had been there at all. Getting out of the car at the falls was like being transported; the barrier of sound that came from the water was melodic, and could be heard before it could be seen. Their footsteps swept freshly fallen snow out of the way, crunching under boots as they left even tracks in their wake. They were one of the few groups of people who’d ventured out into the cold; mid-January on the Canadian border brought winds that painted their cheeks pink, brushed away the softness of their skin and the moisture from their eyes. At the ledge closest to the falls, water erupted and fell like drizzing rain upon the ground and made quick work turning into a sheet of thick black ice. The landscape was dressed with snow-dusted pines, and through the mist the silhouette of Ontario stood out dark against the winter whitened sky.

               They were quiet for a moment, even as Peggy had her camera out. The falls were a thundering mass of power and beauty, and their little spot against the railing became a respite from the long drive. Although their breath was steam against the bitter cold, and their belongings were still in the car, they stood stagnant in their peace.

               “I think I get it now.”

               “Get what?”

               “Why you chose Niagara Falls.” It was John who’d broken their moment. With Angelica leaning on his thinly built frame he can only tip his head down to catch a glimpse of her. She was a piece of a painting, bundled in a vibrant wool coat, the bursts of green and orange in its color blocking took away from the falls, he’d thought. It drew attention to her dark eyes, the way they were trained on the rushing water with silent contemplation. She turned her head to face him and gave him a quizzical stare, her lips already scrunched and turned up into half of a smile. “There’s almost as much power and raw, unfiltered beauty here as I’m about to get married to.”

               Angelica sighed and shook her head endearingly at John. And although she was not prone to public displays of affection, she had already kissed him several times that morning.

…

               The afternoon went by quickly, and their prolonged, exhausted contemplation by the falls had them scrambling to get ready for the ceremony. Angelica, Eliza, and Peggy shared a room of the hotel. There, they sat one last time on the edge of a bed to do each other’s hair as three Schuylers. It wasn’t something they’d thought much about; although the wedding had been on their minds for the duration of the road trip, the implication of losing the Schuyler name hadn’t hit any of the sisters until Angelica had gone to get her dress.

               As the three sisters stood in front of the mirror, Angelica in the middle, a rush of emotion came barreling through the room. Peggy held her oldest sister’s arm tighter. Eliza gasped, the tears that she’d  been holding in finally spilling over as she caught a full view of Angelica in her dress. She was both simple and extravagant; where her dress lacked in baubles and additives, she herself made up for it with her brilliance and her light. Her smile revealed pearl-white teeth, a happiness to match the occasion and the garment. She wore a statement necklace covered in diamonds, a gift from John for their final anniversary as an unmarried couple. The diamonds were arranged in teardrop shapes one would find on an Indonesian tapestry, lain in neatly arranged layers that filled a slight expanse of her neck with a snow-like shimmering. Her sisters were on either side of her, framing her white silk dress with deep black. Peggy’s was straight-lined and simple, hugging her shape and flowing down to her knees. Whether by her hair done up in a bun or her makeup a bit darker and more labor intensive than usual, Peggy looked much older on this night. She took out her camera to record as Eliza wiped another set of tears from her eyes, squeaking.

               “I’m almost done crying, I promise.” She laughs as she holds a hand over her eyes, turning to rest a head on Angelica’s shoulder. She’s careful not to get any of her makeup on the beautiful silk dress, using the squeeze of her arms to appease her rising emotions and the sore lump in her throat. It isn’t until Peggy starts talking, describing the day and the journey they’d taken to get to the falls, that Eliza is able to compile her crying into soft sniffs and only a thin layer of moisture brimming her eyelids. She runs her hands along the buttery fabric of her own dress, soft and black with pleats that jut out from her waistline. It’s a vintage cut that suits her well, and the black coloring allowed her to match with Peggy without seeming too alike to go anywhere else afterward. They’re gifts from Angelica, who’d been planning this much longer than she’d let on. Side by side, the three stand in front of the mirror of their small room at the inn, squished between a wall and the bathroom door and holding each other close.

               This is how they came into the chapel; side-by-side. Eliza and Peggy walked with Angelica down the aisle, each of their eyes roaming across the near-empty room. There was a charm to the building that seemed like a gift; it was a thin white building no bigger than a schoolhouse, with small curved windows and a bell tower more akin to a tiny bell house. There was only enough room for one person to fit through the door at a time, but the room itself felt spacious. There was a row of simple mahogany pews on either side of the chapel, each being able to seat only two people comfortably. It was something of a dollhouse, a replica of the pretty ceramic chapels their grandmother had collected and stored on a long bookcase in her living room. As they entered the tiny room Eliza ended with her eyes on Alexander, in a suit of grey tweed that had undoubtedly been a gift from John. He wore a matching suit, but his was accompanied with a burlap bowtie of a rich, reddened mahogany. Alexander met Eliza’s immediately; he’d been watching her from the moment they’d made their entrance. His own heart beat against his chest with restrained anticipation, a sensation he’d recognized as misplaced. He was not the groom, yet the music swept into his soul as his own Eliza, clearly dressed in black, made her way down the aisle. His eyes scarcely left her as Angelica and John said their vows, keeping it as quick and simple as their plan to marry had been. They left the chapel as briskly as they’d come in, it seemed, and Alexander kept Eliza on his arm on their way back up the aisle.

               They were led by Mr. and Mrs. Church to a looming boat which was to take them closer to the falls. Peggy took the poncho she was given with ease, throwing it on over her dress. Angelica and John were donned in blue as well, grinning and laughing as they followed Peggy. As Eliza was putting on her own protective covering, she noticed Alex’s shaking hand and twitching smile. His initial expression read joy and excitement, but behind the first lines of defense she noted the stiffening of his posture, the way his voice inflected slightly at the end of a sentence and he could not stand still to get his poncho on. Eliza shook her head then, taking her poncho off of her arm and clutching at her stomach.

               “I don’t think I can do it, I’m already a little nauseous and I really don’t want to throw up on your wedding day.”

               “Eliza,” It was Alexander who spoke then, his voice reserved and tight between his teeth. “I’m sure you’ll be fine.”

               “I don’t want you to get sick, Bets.” Angelica moves to grab at the plastic of her poncho, but Eliza holds her hand in place.

               “Don’t skip the tour because of me, I’ll be fine. Alex can stay and keep my company, and we’ll see you when the tour is over. It won’t be that long.”

               Angelica kissed Eliza’s cheek, blinked in a silent wish of good luck as she flattened her poncho against her white silk dress. Alexander and Eliza watched the boat depart, pointing at the passengers and attempting to decipher which might be Angie, John, and Peggy. When they’d gone out of sight Eliza led Alex to the car, unlocking it so they could get in the back seat. She blasted the heat in an attempt to thaw out the cold that lingered from the outdoor air. She leaned in one corner, her back against the door and the seat, and propped her tight-clad legs up on the driver’s seat armrest. She brushed Alex with the back of her hand, somewhere between a tap and a caress, so that he’d stop staring out the window. She gestured for him to come closer, and guided his head to her lap. As she took out his hair, ran her fingers through its soft brown locks, the tension he’d been holding in his shoulders sunk through her lap and away from his body. She felt the release too, sighing as they sat in contented silence. His eyes were closed, his lips drawn in a line of indecision until he parted them to speak.

               “I’m not a fan of boats. Just…with my mom, and everything that happened…all of that open water,”

               “I know.” She closed her eyes too, concentrated the rest of her thoughts on his well-being. She knew that he wasn’t outwardly frightened so much anymore, but the irregular pace of his breathing and the slight croaking in his voice were more than enough to keep her fingers running gentle combs of her nails through his hair. It was almost peaceful, the two of them lain out in the back seat of John’s rented car. It was an escape where he had clearly needed one, and he had provided that for her a countless amount of times. Being on the other side of things had felt right, as if a balance were being achieved by holding instead of being held. He still protested, though, and although he did not get up Eliza could still feel the immediate sense of guilt that washed over him.

               “You should’ve gone with them.”

               “It wasn’t an option.”

               “It’s Angelica’s wedding.”

               “It’s your well-being. She understands.” Alex let the rebuttal hang in the air, lingering in his mind as the events of the day replay in his mind. It had been a beautiful ceremony, short and heartfelt and private. And now he would be addressing things to Angelica Church, a thought which made his head spin. He was undeniably happy for his friend, who’d been at the helm of helping Eliza for a long while. This big happiness was something she deserved, something she needed in order to feel better about leaving. Seeing Angelica and John so happy left him in a state of blissful exhaustion, which translated to his closed eyes and his head on Eliza’s lap.

               “You know I think you’re perfect?” She hummed in contentment; although Alex often and earnestly dusted the air (or paper) with his sweet, adoring words, Eliza often found it difficult to take the compliments as fully as they were given.

               “I’m serious, I do. I don’t think there’s a day that goes by that I don’t think you’re perfect for me. You make me want to be a better version of myself.”

               “You already are, Alex.”

               “And I mean, you could do so much better,”

               “Hey,” It was almost stern, the way her word clipped at its end. Her hand stopped in its tracks, her fingers separating from his hair and moving to his face. “I couldn’t do better than you because you’re you; you’re kind, and passionate, and smart…I don’t want anybody else.”

               “God, I would marry you right now if I could.” He wasn’t sure if he’d meant the words to come out-he doesn’t realize what he’s said until she’d stared down at him, eyes widened and mouth slightly agape. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean-I don’t want to rush you, I shouldn’t have said that,”

               “-You would marry me? Right now?” She was grinning, her reddened cheeks lifted and her eyes brimming with tears again.

               “If I weren’t so traditional, I would. Right here. But I know that family is as important to you as it is to me, and this wedding with the tiny chapel and the road trip? It’s not you, and it’s not an accurate representation of us. Don’t get me wrong, I do intend to marry the hell out of you. But it’s going to be done our way.”

               Eliza captured both sides of his face between her hands and kissed him until they heard Peggy’s voice and three sets of footsteps approaching the car. Sitting in the back seat on the way to dinner, she holds his hand. Then, she felt as though they had their own little secret within this surreptitious elopement.

               They spent dinner at a tavern down the road, one where live music and dancing were held more important than the food itself. They ate sporadically throughout the night, refilling plates of fries and burgers and drinks that kept their bodies warm. They danced until the tavern closed, still in their suits and dresses, and took to the car to find a place to continue their party.

It’s near midnight when they finally come across a tiny diner a bit away from the falls, still with a view of them from one large row of windows on the back wall. The skyline of Ontario is lit as a beacon across the river, an artful architectural installation adding brightness to the wintry sky.

               Eliza is warm and happy when she taps her fork against her kitschy green sheep adorned mug. She kneels on the booth, and with eyes that have expanded to saucer-size, she looks upon her company. The year before had begun as frigid and lonely as the winter in Niagara Falls had felt; Eliza had gone through hell and back, and the people at this table had been there to help her begin to find her way. Now that they’re all here, in another January and with the brink of a new start surrounding them, Eliza’s heart fills, spills into her grin and her hand squeezing Alex’s, and into the clinking of her mug as she gathers everyone’s attention.

“Angelica, you’re the kind of person everyone needs to have in their life. I know I’ve been a little selfish-don’t deny it because I know that you will. I’ve been taking a lot of your time lately, and it hasn’t been fair to you or to your relationship. It’s been hell for all of us so far this year, but you’ve made that hell a little easier to live in. And John,” She’s nearly crying now, looking down at the slightly bearded blonde and pulling the bottle of champagne from the middle of the table. “You’re the brother I never had but always wanted, and I’m so lucky to have you. I love you both so much, I want nothing but your happiness. Cheers to Mr. and Mrs. Church!”

The company clink together their mismatched mugs with a resounding cheer. Eliza passes the bottle of champagne, each person taking a long sip before passing the bottle on. Peggy’s rolling her eyes over her camera teasingly, her complaints of not having enough notice to write her own speech rolling from her tongue and paving a path for a slew of jokes centered on the elopement. It’s short notice, and it’s over before it seems it has even begun. Angelica stares down at her newly-ringed finger each time she goes to take a bite of her food, letting the light catch its grand, ovular diamond. The exuberant grin that stretches from cheek to cheek does not fade.

[apicturewithasmile]

LOST rewatch (season 2):

[follow the entire rewatch-tag here]

episode 1 – Man of Science, Man of Faith:

It’s Desmond tiiiiiime!!!! Maaaaake your own kind of muuuusiiiiiic!!!

>:

OH MY GOD Jack’s flashback hair is horrible.

Desmond’s accent alone is worth watching the show but honestly, his whole character is a total game changer. He’s the personified sci-fi element and I McFriggin love it!

 episode 2 – Adrift:

Big feels for Sawyer here

Does this count as the first on-island flashback when we see John climbing down the hatch? Because we already saw what happened after that in the previous episode… I guess it’s only a mini flashback but still… it is…

Awwww it’s the Dharma sharky

With every Michael flashback I hate his ex even more.

How did everything that’s happened so far only happen in 44 days?!?! It feels like they gone through enough drama for a whole year.

“box man”

episode 3 – Orientation:

Katey Sagal <3

Kate discovering the real important shit – first the chocolate, now the guns

“You needed a father figure and I needed a kidney.” Fuck you Anthony Cooper.

“Why do you find it so hard to believe?” – “Why do you find it so easy?” – “IT’S NEVER BEEN EASY!!!” --- you tell him, John!!!

episode 4 – Everybody Hates Hugo:

I missed Rose!

….Hurley’s boss at the fast food restaurant… ain’t that the same guy who bullied John at the box company? Did I ever notice that before?

episode 5 – …And Found:

Jin’s hair growing longer is all I ever needed for my inner peace.

That Sun + John scene in her garden :’)

I forgot how good the score of that show is. Suck me right up with the feels!

episode 6 – Abandoned:

Oh nooo… that the episode where Shannon dies? Please don’t!!!

I can never understand what it is Ghost Walt is saying to Shannon

John holding the baby *external screaming*

I’ll forever be bitter that they killed Shannon off – all the missed potential for character development

episode 7 – The Other 48 Days:

It’s Nathan Ingram looking like Indiana Jones.

Is it ever explained what the Arrow Station was for?

It’s so annoying that the place Ana killed Goodwin isn’t the same place where Jin finds his corpse in the jungle.

episode 8 – Collision:

Kate winning against Jack at golf is what I’m here for.

I wish Ana Lucia and Sayid had gotten more scenes together after that

“What good would it be to kill you if we’re both already dead?”

That reunion scene of Rose & Bernard and Sun & Jin is soooooo kitschy, I love it

episode 9 – What Kate Did:

Petition for Daniel Daw Kim to be topless more often

I… didn’t remember Sawyer fever-mumbles to Jack that he loves Kate

Ah yes, it’s the black horsey episode

Shannon’s funeral :’( whyyyyyy?????

“Boy, when you say beginning you mean… beginning.”

I’m trying to figure out who cut out part of the Orientation video… was it Kelvin?

Kate’s dad, who’s a very high ranking soldier: “I don’t have murder in my heart.” Me: …..sure, Jan.

“Don’t mistake coincidence for fate.” Mr. Eko and John could have had sooo many intriguing conversations; it’s a pity they had to write him out.

episode 10 – The 23rd Psalm:

I don’t like the whole drug plot but that’s probably because that means more plot for Charlie… like… don’t get me wrong: I like the backstory, but not the new found drama with Charlie

Smokey in his whole glory. That scene is so breath taking, I love it.

episode 11 – The Hunting Party:

 I had forgotten the whole “Michael locks John and Jack up in the armory”-bit

And Jack and Locke actually taking a button-shift together? That’s programmed trouble.

Fuck you Jack! Take Kate with you! You’ve known her for…. What? Over 50 days? You know she won’t stay behind. You’re really no good judge of character, are you?

funny how John is so curious about Sawyer’s name… kinds foreshadowing to the whole Anthony Cooper connection as if John already felt it somehow

Geronimo Jackson

episode 12 – Fire + Water:

 I find it interesting that they chose a + symbol for the title instead of “and” or an ampersand.

Charlie’s parents’ accents are… bad.

“Now Locke’s your friend, eh?” oh shut the fuck up Charlie!!!

Hurley as Jesus on Charlie’s dream is foreshadowing

The difference between Charlie and John is that John is protective over Claire and Aaron whereas Charlie is possessive.

 “[Kate’s] hot, [Jack’s] hot” – Ana Lucia, confirmed bisexual.

YAAAAS!!! Hit the bastard, John! You show him!!!!

episode 13 – The Long Con:

 “You wanna break seven virgin Marys? Be my guest! But I’m superstitious.”

Yunjin Kim is the only person on earth that can make the colour orange look good to me

Seriously… I didn’t remember why exactly I dislike Charlie so much but season 2 reminds me episode by episode.

episode 14 – One Of Them:

 IT’S HAPPENING! EVERYBODY STAY CALM!!!!

I’m so here for every scene between Sayid and Danielle

Amazing “arm waving through a tent” acting @Michael Emerson!!!

“My name is Henry Gale, I’m from Minnesota.” LIIIIIIAAAAAARRRR!!!

I think the first time I watched it I was so excited about Michael Emerson that I didn’t notice the guy who’s talking to Sayid in the next scene is Kelvin.

The first time John sees his future island husband… awwwww :’)

Funny how at first John doesn’t believe Ben’s act but later he’s like “tell me all the lies, I’ll believe you anything, my dear!”

“Why would you travel [in a hot air balloon]?” – “Because I was rich.” Has any line in the entire show ever been that real?

I have trouble believing that Jack is physically stronger than John.

The first time we see the hieroglyphs on the timer.

episode 15 – Maternity Leave:

Alex!!! My pretty little child!!!

Oh my sassy dear rat boy

And creepy Ethan is back.

Mr. Eko: *cuts his beard off* – Not Henry Gale: Okay, wtf?

“Are you the genius or are you the guy who’s feeling like he’s always living in the shadow of the genius?” Ben you little asshole!

episode 16 – The Whole Truth:

Daniel Dae Kim shirtless again – thanks for answering my prayers

Terry O’Quinn gets sexier the scruffier he is

Does Sun realise she’s pregnant this early?!?!?!

Okay John just totally took a glance at Jack’s dick after he was getting out of the shower.

“Jack and Locke are a little too busy worrying about Locke and Jack.”

Oh riiiight, Kate doesn’t know about Not Henry Gale

The fact that Ana Lucia and Sayid get along okayish fills my heart with so much joy but then I remember she’s gonna be dead in like… 2 episodes and I hate that.

“Men reject their prophets and slay them but they love their martyrs and honour those whom they have slain. So what’s the difference between a martyr and a prophet?”

episode 17 – Lockdown:

The first time Ben yells “Jaaawwwn!”

There’s also more and more Emerchesthair going on and I’m here for it!!!

“How about you put your mangos where your mouth is?”

Anthony Cooper you fucking asshole.

John just found the most inappropriate time to propose to someone

“You came back!” – “Did you think I was gonna leave you here?!”

episode 18 – Dave:

I wish Hurley’s story wasn’t focussing on his weight to much

John putting in a good word for Not Henry Gale is my vibe!

Never mind… bondage Ben is MY VIBE!!!

“God doesn’t know how long we’ve been here, John. He can’t see this island any better than the rest of the world can.” --- that’s one of the most underrated lines in the entire show I think.

episode 19 – S.O.S.:

Moooore chesthair action!!!

I love that Rose and Bernard just fairly recently met and haven’t been together for like 30 years already.

episode 20 – Two For The Road:

Ugh is that the Ana Lucia/Christian Shephard episode?? I’m always in for more daddy Shephard.

Strangulation really is Ben’s go to kill method, isn’t it?

“I was coming for you.” – you sure were, my guy. You sure were.

episode 21 - ? :

“the artist formerly known as Henry Gale”

Terry O’Quinn’s arms give me life

It’s the Pearl station

Oh riiiight there’s been cameras in the Swan station, totally forgot that

“every single second of my pathetic little life is as useless as that button” poor John

Sawyer comforting Kate… I’m here for it!

episode 22 – Three Minutes:

Oh Alex, my sweet angel

“we got caught in a net” – “why are you telling me this, Sawyer?” – “because you’re about the closet thing I got a friend on this island, Doctor.” I wish they had spent more time focussing on that broship rather than the love triangle

DESMOND’S BACK!!!!

episodes 23 and 24 – Live Together, Die Alone:

“we’re stuck in a bloody snow globe”

Charles fucking Widmore, my OTV – One True Villain

Aaah it’s the weird Hurley bird

John crying in the jungle breaks my heart (and fuck you Charlie for making fun of him)

“with enough money and determination you can find anyone”

Desmond realising John saved his life by hammering on that hatch door is one of the best moments in the whole show.

Not Henry Gale is back, my bebe, right there with the dramatic appearance on a boat

Desmond really big on competing against Sayid in the “who’s got the best island hair”-competition (Sayid still winning tho)

“I’m sorry for whatever happened that made you stop believing but it’s all real.”

“We’re the good guys, Michael!”

[thetravelingmama]

100 Things about your Mom.

Hi Chi. I’m back! All better and cured. I’m feeling like my old self again, energy and everything back. Like my doctor said today: if it’s working, don’t change it. That being said, let’s do something fun! I saw this weird list of questions and said: Game on!

1: What random stranger has had the biggest impact on your life? A Dad at a beach playing with his son. He made us made the decision to start a family.

2: What achievement are you proud of but most people would consider silly or weird? I refuse to “act my age”.

3: What period in history had the best fashion? The 50’s!

4: What silly or funny thing makes you afraid or creeps you out? Clowns.

5: How quickly do you jump to conclusions about people? I try not to, but the reality is that I get “vibes” from people, instantly. I’m never wrong, as much opportunities I give.

6: How would the world change if super heroes and super villains actually existed? I think heroes and villains DO exist.

7: What would be your strategy for surviving an apocalyptic epidemic? I already hoard medicine, movies and booze.

8: What is the most important change that should be made to your country’s education system? Equality, Empathy, Values and Gender Perspective are things that need to be taught. I also believe that a University Diploma should be mandatory. No school? Jail.

9: What is something you think you will regret in the future not starting now and what is something you already regret not starting sooner? I regret not becoming a Mom sooner. I’ll regret it most in the future.

10: What part of your culture are you most and least proud of?

Proud of our strength of character. Least proud of living in a status quo.

11: What's the worst and best thing about being female? Best thing is having a baby, carrying it inside your body. That experience is wonderful. The worst is definitively the inequality, how people treat you different in many ways and what they expect on how you “should behave”. I also believe there are many double standards when it comes to us.

12: If you could put your brain in a robot and live indefinitely, would you? Not for a gazillion dollars.

13: If you could replace the handshake as a greeting, what interesting new greeting would you replace it with? High fives are awesome.

14: Who’s the worst guest you’ve had in your house and what did they do? I’m glad to report that I never let people that I don’t truly trust or know at my house.

15: When does time pass fastest for you and when does it pass the slowest? Fastest: when I have a lot of work and a close deadline. Slowest: when I had to come up with advertising campaigns. I HATED starting on a presentation with all the passion in the world until I had an idea that worked. Then, it just was a breeze. Until that jackpot happens, time is torture.

16: What always sounds like a good idea at the time but rarely is? Telling someone the truth. Sometimes it just turns out that they can’t handle or understand it. Another great one? Getting drunk and knowing that no one is going to take care of the baby next morning. Huge mistake.

17: Are humans fundamentally different than animals? If so, what makes us different? We’re very much alike, I realized it after I gave birth. I just think we have the burden of emotions and logic to deal with, that’s all. I envy them: I’d love to function just on instincts!

18: What pictures or paintings have had a big impact on you? Guernica inspired me to paint. The Marilyn Diptych inspired me to design. At the Moulin Rouge is one of my favorites, just because.

19: What movie or book character are you most similar to? That’s a tough one. I identify a lot (with absolutely no clue of why) with Mia Wallace’s lust for life and her disregard for rules; Marla Singer’s I don’t care attitude and confusion. I’m also a mix of Santino and Michael Corleone when I’m either strategizing or just extremely angry.

20: You can broadcast one sentence to every TV channel and radio in the world and have it translated to each country’s language. What sentence do you say? “What doesn’t offend you might offend someone else. Calm down and let people do and say what they want.”

21: What fact are you really surprised that more people don't know about? That research does not mean that you trust instantly whatever you find online. Reliable sources exist for a reason.

22: What are you completely over and done with? Putting the well-being of others before mine.

23: What memory do you just keep going back to?

It depends on the day.

24: What’s the most immature thing someone can do? I believe that making a scene in public is just sign that you are emotionally and socially immature. From treating strangers badly for a stupid reason to arguing with your significant other in front of anybody is just a sign that you’re the problem.

25: What are you most passionate about and what do you wish you were more passionate about? Reading and writing.

26: What’s the best comeback you’ve ever heard?

“I’m growing a human inside me, what’s your excuse?” I said that. :P

27: Who haven’t you seen or talked to in a long time and hope they are doing okay? With Facebook that stopped happening years ago. I actually miss that feeling of wondering how my friends are. Although, there is one friend from college that disappeared. I sometimes wonder what happened.

28: Where is the last place you would ever go? If by last this means “and then you can die”, Tibet. I can’t fathom thinking about a place in this world not worthy about visiting.

29: What’s something that you’ve never been able to do well? Math and control myself when I am beyond furious.

30: Who is the humblest person you know?

Any person who will do something for free just to help another human being.

31: What is the silliest reason someone you've known has completely lost it? The stuff people write online.

32: What is quite possibly the most annoying thing ever? People who judge others on based on what they wear, own, drive or live in. I also am starting to despise people who post every single goddamn second on social media. My social media algebra is simple: entertain, yes; Report, no.

33: What do you wish people would stop asking you? Can I have free tickets?

34: What is the most unusual fear you have? Frogs and Roller Coasters.

35: What is your favorite TV show? Right now it’s Better Call Saul.

36: What’s the most ridiculous argument you’ve had? If it’s ridiculous, I’m totally ignoring the idea of talking about it. Silence is golden.

37: What’s the biggest lesson life has taught you? My happiness is way more important than anything else in the world.

38: What is increasingly becoming socially acceptable? Telling others how to act, talk, behave, think, write... I remember the days when people judged you in silence or behind closed doors. Thanks a lot, internet.

39: What’s the weirdest tradition your family has? It’s not a tradition per se, we just talk really loud when we’re together, and all at the same time.

40: If you could choose anyone living or dead, who would you choose to lead our country? It would be a mix of Obama, Lady Gaga, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and Ed Snowden.

41: What app on your phone do you wish you used more? Tabata.

42: Who was the most power mad person you’ve met? Insert advertising client name here.

43: What world famous monument do you have no interest in visiting? The Tower of Pisa. Next.

44: What is something that you think people are only pretending to like or are deluding themselves into liking? Wine.

45: What joke went way too far? Anything that relates to a pregnancy announcement.

46: What are some of the telltale signs that a guy is creepy? If a man tries to control how I talk, behave, dress, manage a situation or just even decides something for me. If he thinks I need his approval for anything.

47: What is your very first memory? Walking around the beach.

48: What’s the most embarrassing thing you’ve said or done around someone you dated? It’s not embarrassing but it did catch me off guard: I made a point in my life to never say “I love you” to a man first until I was sure that it was going to mean something. One day, when I was starting to date your Dad, I just blurted it out. He laughed and said “You said it first!”

49: Who is your favorite actor or actress? Right now it’s Bryan Cranston.

50: What doesn’t exist but you desperately want / need it? A pill that eliminates sadness or anger instantly.

51: What are you most grateful for? My child.

52: If you could hear every time someone said something good about you or something negative about you, which would you choose? Neither. Not interested.

53: What do you wish you could re-live? Just for fun, my twenties. Had the best time.

54: What’s something that you recommend everyone trying at least once? Massages.

55: Do you prefer being warmed when you’re too cold or being cooled when you’re too hot? Warmed.

56: What sentence can you say that makes total sense now but would seem insane 20 years ago? “Do it, don’t wait.”

57: How decisive or indecisive are you? Extremely decisive. I’d rather go out in flames, always.

58: What’s something from your childhood that used to be common but now is pretty rare? I used to play outside unsupervised and came back home when I was supposed to. I also drove my grandpa’s car lots of times while sitting in his lap. Now he would get thrown in jail, I guess.

59: If you were an action figure, what accessories would you be sold with? A bottle of Vodka, books, beach items and lipstick.

60: What weird smell do you really enjoy? Gasoline and the streets of New York City.

61: What do you like that is traditionally considered masculine? Boxing, hard liquors, swearing, dark sense of humor.

62: What’s something you learned recently that you really should have already known? Expectations are resentments in the making.

63: What’s a simple mistake you made that had dramatic consequences? I should have been honest with someone without worrying about what could happen next.

64: What’s the best piece of advice someone has given you? You’re not responsible for how other people feel, it’s their problem to handle.

65: What do you think people automatically wrongly assume about you when they look at you? That I’m delicate, maybe?

66: Looking back on your life, what have you done that has given you the most satisfaction? Besides from being a Mom, having a successful company.

67: If everything was quantified, what life stats would like to see for yourself? The happy vs sad moments.

68: What do you really wish you knew when you were younger? That I am way more stronger than I thought.

69: When was the last time you laughed so hard you cried? I think it was watching Dave Chapelle or Joe Rogan on Netflix.

70: What do you wish you had more time for? Being with my child when she grows older. I hope to be alive when she gets married or has a kid.

71: When was the last time you had a gut feeling about something that turned out to be correct? How about a time your gut feeling was wrong? My gut feelings are 99% on point. Sometimes it takes a second, sometimes years. I always end up being right.

72: What’s your curiosity killed the cat story? Your Dad. I ended up married and having you!

73: What areas in your life do you have high hopes for and what are those high hopes? I hope that our child decides to run our company and makes it even more successful.

74: Who was the most spoiled person you personally have met? Met a few. No comment.

75: What makes you feel old? When people don’t know a certain band or piece of music.

76: What’s your favorite non-drug / non-alcohol high? Traveling.

77: What’s the worst thing you’ve heard one person say to another person? It’s a tie between, “Sorry, she doesn’t know what she’s talking about.” and “Shut up and listen”.

78: What do you love about yourself? I’m starting to love my new sense of self. It gives me meaning.

79: What gets progressively weirder the more you think about it? Society in general.

80: What have you gotten too old to put up with? Being obligated to do something.

81: What event would you like to know the whole and complete truth about? JFK’s death. I also would love to read Mueller’s unredacted report.

82: What have you recently become obsessed with? Home delivery. Hi Jeff Bezos, I paid for your electricity this month.

83: What’s the biggest waste of money you’ve seen? Anything related to spending a lot on cars or jewelry. I’d rather travel, sorry.

84: What’s surprising about you? Most people don’t know that I can’t stand chick films.

85: When you were a kid what silly thing were you deathly afraid of? Dracula. Frank Langella, you made my childhood miserable for months.

86: Besides a raise or more vacation time, what’s the best perk a company can offer employees? Time to relax and focus. In Advertising, we’re expected to produce an insane amount of creative pieces in little time. Creativity and pressure don’t go well. Also, a short amount of time during the month to do the things we can’t during the weekend.

87: Where do you like going for walks? Lower East Side or Montmartre.

88: If you found out you would inexplicably fall down dead in one year, what would you change about your life? I would travel non stop so that I could drop dead somewhere cool.

89: What movie have you seen more than seven times? It might be a tie between Pulp Fiction and the Godfather Series.

90: Most people want to be wealthy for one reason or another. Why do you would want to be wealthy? To travel.

91: What’s the best thing you could tell someone to cheer them up when they are feeling down? My grandmother used to say “Someday, when you look back at a bad moment in your life, you’re gonna laugh about it”. Wherever she is, I know she looks down and reminds me in my dreams from time to time.

92: When you were a kid, what movie did you watch over and over again? Mary Poppins... and The Godfather 1 when no one was watching.

93: What’s the worst trait a person can have? No empathy.

94: If you could know one truth about yourself, history, the world, or even the universe, what truth would you want to know? Is someone out there?

95: What’s your favorite souvenir that you have? Our cheesy “Oia” sign. It reminds me of the best honeymoon in the world.

96: What would you do if someone left a duffle bag filled with $2,000,000 on your back porch? Buy a small apartment in NYC, buy another near the beach in Rincón. Leave the rest for Mía.

97: If everything in your house had to be one color what color would you choose? Black.

98: What would your warning label say if every person was required to have one? Don’t get her angry. You wouldn’t like her when she’s angry.

99: What weird childhood fear do you still kind of hold on to? Big waves.

100: What’s the most polarizing question you could ask your group of friends? That’s the funny thing about us. There is not one polarizing thing we could ask each other. We talk and share EVERYTHING in our lives. The good, the bad, the disgusting, the inappropriate. Even the things we are ashamed to admit or share. That’s true friendship.

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10 Websites Which Provide Freelance Writing Jobs For Beginners

Frustrated?

Ever wondered to get a freelance writing job?

What did you find?

Few top-notch freelancing sites?

They could be Freelancer, Upwork, and Elance… or some micro job sites where you can make $5-100 per task.

You thought you’ll also buy a car within 6 months after joining one of these websites!

You probably know a successful freelance writer who just bought his car… and you’re thinking you’ll do the same…

No doubt, you can do this.

But, the freelancer who just bought the car, ask him these three questions:

When did he start freelance writing? How long did he struggle to reach there? When did he actually start writing?

So…

What will you do?

Are you going to bid on those three sites every day?

Have you decided to spend 10 hours on those sites to finally get your first client?

The irony is, you would until and unless you read this blog post till the end.

Because

If you do, something is going to change.

At least, you’ll understand that the freelancing online writing jobs do not just belong to these three freelancing sites.

C’mon!

We live in a free world. Aliens didn’t invade the earth yet.

Then, why are you in a panic?

You can think. And you can decide, even better.

Why on earth someone would get so frustrated to stop looking for a bundle of opportunities?

Technically, pro bloggers recommend not to utilize a dozen of options in many cases, probably because mixing things up won’t help. They believe, the less, the better.

But, when it comes to limiting the reach – It becomes underestimation.

So open up.

As Jerry Greenfield said:

If you open up the mind, the opportunity to address both profits and social conditions are limitless. It’s a process of innovation.

Even though I’m going to tell you 10 websites to get freelance jobs online, but I want to drip the art of getting freelance business into every reader, which means the ultimate goal isn’t to give you 10 freelance writing jobs websites but to make you ready to believe in you.

You know what they say:

Where there is a will, there is a way!

You have to have a belief on what you do or what you want to do.

Take my example. When I made my mind clear about the freelance writing service, I removed all affiliate marketing ads from my blog, because I was pretty much clear with the intent that I’m going to get the freelance writing clients right from my blog.

And, it happened.

Do you know what else I changed on my blog besides removing the ad banners?

Ugh, forget about the ‘Hire Me’ page.

I added a large text button on the header of my blog about my content writing service.

And, results were incredible.

It doesn’t end here.

I’m not alone who believes in a personal blog or website.

Take a look at Jared Christensen’s website:

Jared is a graphic and web design artist. He is a freelancer and he tells that pretty clearly when you open his website.

Let me give you another example.

Jay Hafling is a Freelance Web designer – and he is open to getting the inquiries from the clients.

So, this shows I’m not alone here.

Some other successful freelancers are quite believers on their personal blogs and websites.

I’m a freelance writer. I’m not active on Fiverr or PeoplePerHour.

But the fact is, I keep an eye on many Blogging and Freelance writing jobs opportunities, which is why I’m going to share these freelance writing job websites with you all.

Surprised?

I’ve already told that it’s not going to be those three freelancing websites that every freelancer imagines in the first place.

You’d find these freelancing job websites useful, but make sure this list doesn’t make you off the track – which means you shouldn’t be considering that these 10 websites are a freelancing world.

Remember, freelancing is a lifestyle, not just an earning model.

Take a look at the 10 Websites which provide Freelance Writing Jobs: 1. Guru

Guru is one of the top freelancing websites where freelancers get hired by the companies and customers. The purpose of adding Guru to the list is to add a reputable freelancing jobs site to the list. Guru claims to have 1.5 million users around the globe which is clearly a dominating figure as far as the freelance industry is concerned.

The purpose of adding Guru to the list is to add a reputable freelancing jobs site to the list. Guru claims to have 1.5 million users around the globe which is clearly a dominating figure as far as the freelance industry is concerned.

2. Project4Hire

Project4Hire might be a new name for many of the readers, but this freelance jobs website isn’t a new player in the industry.

In fact, Project4Hire is a front-line freelancing websites among the major freelance job websites. Not only does it help companies to hire software programmers, web designers, graphic artists, IT specialists, translators, writers, virtual assistants, and web coders, but also help people to make money with Affiliate Program.

3. Freelance Writing Jobs

Freelance Writing Jobs is a famous freelancing guide blog which publishes authoritative content and resources regarding freelance writing gigs.

Its job portal is a vital job board on the internet. It’s a must-check jobs board for every freelance writer. It also offers email alert option for freelance writers to get notified on the arrival of new freelance writing gigs.

4. Problogger Job

Problogger is one of the blogging tips pioneers in the industry. If a blogger doesn’t know about Problogger.net, it means he/she doesn’t know much about blogging and authority development.

Many top bloggers and authors guest post on Problogger to engage and meet the new audience. Problogger Job Board is one of the hottest areas for freelance writers and bloggers who want to get freelance writing clients or full-time writing jobs.

5. BloggingPro Jobs

BloggingPro is another famous blogging tips and guides blog. They also have a freelance writing jobs board where bloggers and freelancers look for writing gigs and job opportunities.

You might find your next freelance writing client on this blog’s job portal.

6. Craigslist

Craigslist is a popular classified ads websites available for many countries across the globe.

It has a jobs category where writing and editing jobs are always being posted by the companies. Take a look at those writing jobs if you’re looking for a quick writing task.

Normally project’s details and contact email address are given on the craigslist writing threads and you would have to contact the client if you’d be interested in the project.

7. The Write Life Jobs

The Write Life is a freelancing and blogging tips blog with an effective and active jobs board. This blog does pretty much same as Problogger and BloggingPro are doing – They publish content as blogs and also run a jobs board to keep floating the writing opportunities for the bloggers and freelance writers.

8. MediaBistro Jobs

MediaBistro is a jobs site for online community and digital media professionals. It doesn’t revolve around the freelancing writing jobs but offers a variety of job opportunities to the various type of professionals.

Freelance writers can jump to MediaBistro to take a look at the writing jobs in the specific section.

9. CopyPress Jobs

CopyPress is a reputable name in the copywriting and design areas. They have set up their job board to provide freelancing opportunities to the freelancers.

The jobs aren’t limited to freelance writers, but this portal covers jobs for web designers, motion graphic experts, graphic designers, and others as well.

10. LinkedIn

LinkedIn is a business networking and social media website. It’s more like a professional networking site. LinkedIn has a jobs section, and many of the LinkedIn users don’t know that.

You might come across a famous brand looking for a content writer or a freelance writer on LinkedIn.

What would you do now?

You’ve got a list of websites where you can get started finding the freelance writing jobs – You might want to bookmark this article to apply (for jobs) in the future…

It’s okay.

Everyone should avail the opportunities.

Let me tell you one thing!

I’d rather select 3 job opportunities out of 25 and prepare my case with my best abilities to make sure that I get hired by one of those companies.

Do you know the drill?

Apply these 3 strategies to apply for any job:

Read the approach of the employee Match your expertise with the opportunities Mold your strategy to look different

Happy?

Now, do yourself a little favour.

Give my idea a single chance.

I’m telling you exactly what I did. I learned the hard way.

I struggled, failed, learned a lesson, and then got success.

Do as I did, and probably many others would do the same.

Write a blog and offer your freelance writing service.

Offering your freelance writing service without a blog is just like claiming to be a businessman without the existence of a business.

When freelance writers ask me that what they should do when they don’t have freelance projects to do, I tell them to write their blogs.

Remember, your blog is your best portfolio. Make it right.

It’s not tough to launch a blog, in fact, it’s extremely easy. People launch their blogs using Tumblr and WordPress.com, but professional bloggers use self-hosted blogging platforms.

Read this guide on how to start a blog and you’ll realize that it’s so simple to launch a blog.

Give your clients a reason to approach you. Your blog should be that reason.

So, tell me one thing!

Which website are you going to see to apply for a freelance writing job?

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Peace I Leave With You Finale Part 1

Title: Peace I Leave With You, 29/30

Fandom: OUAT

Rating: T

Word Count: ~10,000 (these final two chapters are both crazy long. Sorry.)

Summary: When Emma needs a friend in Storybrooke, she finds one in the sinfully attractive priest Killian Jones. AU covering seasons 1 and 2.

Notes: Thank you, thank you, thank you to everyone who stuck with this story during the long hiatus and supported me through it's long evolution. We made it! I couldn't have done it without the ongoing support and encouragement of my readers. I know I suck at responding to comments, but you are all rock stars to me. 

Today I am posting the penultimate chapter, and tomorrow is the grand finale. These last 2 chapters are basically a novella-length finale, and together they tell a sort of story-within-a-story to finish up this epic of mine. Enjoy! 

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7,Part 8, Part 9, Part 10,Part 11, Part 12, Part 13, Part 14, Part 15, Part 16, Part 17,Part 18, Part 19, Part 20,Part 21, Part 22, Part 23, Part 24, Part 25, Part 26, Part 27, Part 28

Or read on Ao3

-

After Killian finishes supervising the afternoon youth group at the church, he drives through town to head home for dinner and some down time before heading back for the evening Bible Study group. He slows to wave as he sees Belle locking up the library for the night. She waves back with a grin on her face. He's so glad the city found the funds to reopen the old library. It'll do the community so much good.

He was hesitant when Belle first told him she'd started dating Mr. Gold. Killian doesn't much care for May-December romances. But when their relationship had flourished and she'd asked him to officiate at their wedding, he'd readily agreed. Gold's temperament has certainly improved since he started seeing Belle. It has occurred to Killian that perhaps the man had simply been lonely for so long he forgot how to be kind to people.

Belle is changing that, slowly but surely.

Killian oversaw their small wedding with only Belle's father, Regina, and three of Belle's friends in attendance. It had been a dramatically different wedding than the lavish outdoor ceremony and reception for the Nolans less than two months earlier, but equally as happy. He is glad to see Belle flourish in her news roles as both wife and town librarian.

On his way to his home he passes by the sheriff's station, and he slows his car when he sees a yellow Volkswagon Beetle parked in the lot. No one in Storybrooke drives that kind of car. It has to be Regina's cousin – Emma Swan.

Ever since Regina shared the news of Swan's coming, Killian has been inexplicably curious about the mayor's cousin with her rough upbringing, unconventional career path, and single motherhood. He expects that she won't be much like her pampered local cousin, in spite of Regina's assertion that the two are good friends.

Unable to help himself, he pulls into the station parking lot. He wants to meet this mysterious newcomer, and this is as good a way as any to secure an introduction.

He strides into the office with a smile on his face. “Good evening, David,” he says, and then stops short at the sight of a woman with long blonde hair, her back turned to him. “I see you have company.”

David sees him and smiles. “Killian! I'm glad you dropped by. Come and meet Storybrooke's potential deputy sheriff, Emma Swan.”

She turns to face him, and he finds himself dumbstruck. She's the most beautiful woman he's ever seen.

Her eyes meet his, and he sees a flurry of emotions cross her face – for a moment she seems almost afraid? Or is it simply anxious?  – before her expression settles into polite friendliness.

He clears his throat to regain his power of speech. He hasn't been so struck by the sight of a woman in years, but now is hardly the place to make a fool of himself over a pretty girl. He steps toward her, extending his hand. “Pleased to meet you, Miss Swan. Killian Jones.”

That look flashes in her eyes again – definitely anxiety, but this tight there also seems to be some sort of unspoken sorrow behind them. Perhaps he's just imagining things, having read one two many over dramatic novels.

She takes his hand and they shake. “Good to meet you, Killian. Or is it more appropriate to call you Father?” Her voice quavers just a bit, the sorrow growing even more evident in her eyes. What has happened to this woman to fill her with such pain? He only hopes that her move to Storybrooke will help her find the solace that she clearly needs.

“Killian is fine,” he says, dropping her hand, though his palm continues to tingle with warmth.

David steps up beside her. “Killian is a good friend of mine. He's the priest of the town church.”

“Episcopal – not Catholic,” Killian adds hastily, and immediately chides himself internally. She might not even know that Episcopal priests take no vow of chastity. And why in heaven's name is he even thinking of that? He didn't come here to flirt. He came here to support his friend.

“Oh,” she says softly, “that's good to know.” A small smile curves up the corners of her lips, her eyes lighting up for the first time since he walked in. He doesn't know what inspired her sudden happiness, but he's pleased to see it.

“Yes, Emma was just introducing herself. We've set up a formal interview for tomorrow morning.” Regina speaks up. Killian hadn't even noticed she was there.

“Well, very good news for us all. David here has been desperate for help so he can lavish more attention on his lovely new wife,” Killian says. His tongue feels awkward in his mouth, and he hopes his words don't sound as stilted as they feel.

“Oh, congratulations,” Emma says, her smiling eyes dancing between David and Regina. Regina meets her gaze with a smug expression. What is that all about?

“Thank you, but we actually got married close to a year ago.” David's cheeks flush.

“Well, I'd still call you newly-weds if it's less than a year,” Emma replies, all of her earlier sadness wiped away by the warm smile on her face.

“I'll have to introduce you to my wife, Mary Margaret. She's a teacher at the elementary school – she can show you around. Let you know the kind of quality education your son will be getting.” David doesn't seem to recognize that he's getting ahead of himself – he hasn't even offered her the job, yet.

“If I get the job,” Emma interjects, as if reading Killian's mind.

“Of course.” David chuckles.

They chat for a few more minutes, sharing more tidbits about the town with her. Killian finds he can hardly take his eyes off of her. When he was accepted into the priesthood just over four years ago, he'd vowed that he'd wait at least five years before thinking about dating. Priests have to be very particular about their romantic interactions, and he knows that when he finally takes that step, it has to be because he's seeking a partner in marriage – not just a temporary fling.

Emma, however, is making him question his resolve. He hasn't been so taken by someone so quickly since Milah...

When the comparison pops into his mind he quickly drops his eyes and looks away. Milah will always be in his heart, but with the passing of time he can see how many mistakes he made. How foolish he'd been. He was young and impetuous and reckless, and his failure to help Milah face up to her struggles and overcome them had led to her death.

He won't rush into a relationship ever again. He'll be careful. He'll use his head, and make sure every step is taken only after sufficient consideration.

Besides, Emma might not even be interested in him.

After reining in his thoughts, he raises his eyes to find Emma staring at him as intently as he'd been staring at her a few moments ago. When he meets her eyes her smile broadens before she turns to respond to some comment from David that Killian has completely missed.

His heart is racing.

After a few more minutes he excuses himself. He says he needs to get to his duties at the church, though that's only partially true. Mainly he needs some fresh air to clear his head.

He can't let himself tumble headfirst into a desperate infatuation after a mere twenty minute conversation. He's better than that.

Still, when he catches a glimpse of what looks like disappointment in her eyes after he says goodbye, the look sticks with him. He can't get it out of his head for the rest of the night.

~ ~ ~

Emma clenches the steering wheel, her stomach churning, while Regina slides into the passenger seat beside her.

“See?” says Regina. “That wasn't so bad, was it? And you had yourself all wound up into a panic. But it went perfectly. Hook is clearly smitten with you. You should have no trouble whatsoever getting him to love you again.”

Emma only feels sicker. “Yeah. Sure.”

She turns on her car and pulls away from the station.

The blankness in their eyes when they first saw her – like they were complete strangers. She knew this would be hard, but she hadn't realized just how hard. It took all her strength not to turn tail and run when Killian introduced himself and began his awkward flirting.

This wasn't how it went, last time. It was slow and tentative. They were friends first – that's why her feelings blossomed into something more so quickly. Because they already had that solid foundation.

Nothing about this feels solid. None of it feels real.

Even if he develops feelings for her soon, they can't possibly be true. Not when Regina has made everything so – so artificially perfect.

But Emma bites her tongue and keeps her doubts to herself until she's safely closed herself into the guest bathroom in Regina's house, with the shower running to hide the sound of her crying.

~ ~ ~

Killian tries not to think about Emma.

He isn't very successful.

He runs into her at Granny's while picking up his regular morning coffee to share with David, and jokes that soon he'll have to start buying a third cup.

He thinks about her answering smile for the rest of the day.

That evening he is entirely unsurprised when David admits to offering Emma a job right on the spot after her interview. In spite of his previous determination to prevent his friend from rushing into a hasty hire, Killian can't find it in him to protest.

“She told me she needs to think about it for a day or two,” David says ruefully, as they putter in the kitchen of his loft doing the washing up from dinner while Mary Margaret sits at the table polishing up her lesson plans for the next day.

Killian is briefly disappointed before coming to his senses. “That's the right thing for her to do, mate. She's been rushed into this whole business as much as you have, and coming from more populous area, she might be having second thoughts now that she's seen what small town life is really like.”

“I hope not!” Mary Margaret pipes up. “She sounds like an excellent candidate.”

Though Killian silently agrees with her, he doesn't say so out loud.

“Should I invite her to dinner?” Mary Margaret asks. “Or should I wait until she takes the job?”

“You should wait,” Killian says, trying to be the protective friend that he promised himself he would be. “It'll seem like you're trying to bribe her into accepting the job with your excellent cooking.”

“Well, I don't mind, if you think it'll work.” Her eyes twinkle at him.

He finishes wiping down the counter and rolls his eyes at her. “It probably will.”

She laughs, and David puts away the last of the clean dishes and turns to them with a pronouncement, “Okay. We'll do it. But I'm working the next two nights – hence the need for a deputy.”

David always worked Friday and Saturday nights. Storybrooke was a quiet town, but there were still usually a handful of tipsy carousers on the weekend nights.

“Sunday, then,” said Mary Margaret. “And of course you're invited, Killian. Unless you have other plans.”

As a matter of fact, his previous Sunday dinner invitation – from the family of one of his deacons – had just been postponed due to the lady of the house getting a nasty sprained ankle and wanting another week of recuperation before having to entertain. He tries not to think of that as a lucky turn.

He accepts the invitation.

~ ~ ~

Killian doesn't see Emma at all on Friday, and he's glad for the reprieve. His thoughts are trending toward lustiness, and he needs to regain control of himself with some prayer and meditation.

He thinks he's gotten his ridiculous crush out of his system. He can be himself again.

Then, on Saturday, while taking a slightly later run than usual, he stumbles upon her in a city park alongside a boy who must be her son.

At first he tries to jog past as if he didn't notice her, but her eyes lock onto him before he can look away. So he does the polite thing and slows to a stop.

“Miss Swan – it's a pleasure to see you again.”

“Just Emma – please,” she insists, with a hint of the sadness he'd noticed in her showing on her face. “Good to see you, too, Killian. This is my son, Henry. Henry, this is Father Killian Jones. He's in charge of the town church.”

“Good to meet you, young man,” Killian says, extending his hand.

The boy has a pleasant smile, and he quickly accepts Killian's hand and shakes it with a show of mature confidence. “Good to meet you, too, Killian. I like your hand.” The boy stares unabashedly at the prosthetic hook Killian wears in place of his left hand. “Can you grab things with it?”

“Henry!” Emma says, sounding embarrassed. “I'm sorry, really...”

“It's quite alright,” Killian interrupts. “This hand is always a hit with kids. And yes, Henry, I can grab things. Allow me to demonstrate.” He moved his arm just so to open and close the hook pincers several times.

“Cool!” said Henry, beaming.

“Indeed it is. I see you're out exploring Storybrooke. How do you like it so far?” Killian tries to keep his gaze on Henry, but can't help the occasional glance at Emma. This isn't still a crush. Truly. He's merely trying to help them feel welcome.

“It's great,” replies Henry. “I love the woods. And everyone is super nice.”

“I'm glad they're making you feel welcome,” Killian replies, his eyes once more drifting up to Emma. He wishes he knew why she looks so sad, and even more he wonders if moving here might help erase that sadness.

“How did you lose it? Your hand, I mean,” Henry said, returning to subject of the prosthetic.

Emma shook her head. “Really, Henry.” She meets Killian's gaze. “I'm sorry – I swear I didn't raise him to be so nosy. You don't have to answer that.”

He smiles, amused by her embarrassment. “It's no bother, really. I'm not offended, Henry – but I do understand why your mother doesn't want you to be asking these sorts of questions. Some people with differences or disabilities are proud and happy to talk about them, but others might feel bothered or annoyed by these sorts of questions. So lets make a deal – I'll answer your question, and then from now on you'll wait to get to know a person who is different before asking if they mind talking about what makes them different. How does that sound?”

“It's a deal.” Henry nods.

“Well then,” Killian says, “Many years ago I was in the army. I came of age here in America, so it was the United States Army. But one day when I was moving equipment, there was an accident, and my hand got trapped under something very heavy. I very upset at first, but I've gotten so used to it that I never even think about what it was like before.”

Henry nods thoughtfully. “Okay. Thanks.”

“You're welcome.” Killian glances up again to find Emma watching him. He wishes he could make out what she's thinking. “Well – I need to be getting on now. But I hope I see more of you soon.”

“Me too,” Henry replied.

He can still feel Emma's eyes on him as he jogs away.

~ ~ ~

Killian is a few minutes into his sermon on Sunday before he notices them in the congregation, sitting in the very back row – Emma and Henry.

His words falter for just a moment, but he drags his eyes away from them and gets right back on track (though his heart continues to race faster than it has since his first few months of preaching). He doesn't let himself look at them again until the Sermon is over.

They slip out of the church just after the service ends, and he doesn't have a chance to speak to them.

~ ~ ~

Regina is still scowling when Emma gets back from dropping Henry back off at the motel down the coast to spend the rest of the week with Neal.

“I still don't see why he had to leave so soon. He's only been here for a day and a half.”

Emma sighs and sinks onto the sofa. They've had this conversation a dozen times already. “This is his best chance to get to know his father without any magical shenanigans in the way. And Neal really needs the company right now.”

Regina shakes her head. “I still think you're just keeping him away from me as some sort of arbitrary punishment for not stopping this curse.”

Emma rubs her already aching head. She's only been in town for four days and she's already fed up. “You know what, maybe I am. Maybe I have the right to get in a little payback for all the ways you made my life and my parents' lives a living hell. Or maybe I'm just pissed at you for thinking that by setting things up just right to throw Killian at me over and over again you could have your perfect life back within a few days. These are our hearts you're playing with, Regina. Mine and Killian's. This isn't how it happened the first time. You can' t force it, now matter how much you convinced yourself that you can.”

Regina seems taken aback, but Emma doesn't really care right now.

“I don't understand. It's working, isn't? He's clearly smitten with you, isn't he?” She seems genuinely puzzled. Emma's not sure whether Regina's obliviousness is better than her being a willful puppet-master, or not.

“That's exactly the problem,” Emma explains. “You set things up so perfectly for him to fall for me that I have no idea if it's real, or if it's only happening because you built it into the curse without realizing it. And if you did, it won't matter how hard he falls for me – it won't be true. So the curse will never be broken.”

Regina's mouth hangs open for a moment. “I'm sorry. I never thought of it that way.”

“Clearly.” Emma squeezes her lips together and stands up. “I have to go change. I'm having dinner with my parents in an hour.”

Regina still looks troubled as Emma walks upstairs. Good. It's about time she starts facing the reality of the scenario she's created here.

Before changing, Emma picks up the leather insignia from her nightstand and rubs it absently. Regina's put her into an impossible situation. It tears at her heart every time she talks to Killian and all she sees is the fake personality that Regina built into him.

But she's been in impossible situations before, and overcome them. The insignia is a symbol of that.

She has to keep up hope. She has to have faith.

That's what Killian taught her, and she can't let him down.

~ ~ ~

Killian arrives too early for his dinner at the Nolans' loft. He's been on edge for the past few hours, debating whether or not to actually come. In just a few days he's become far too fixated on Emma. It's a distraction from his work.

But he already committed to coming. His friends would be disappointed if he didn't show.

He regrets coming almost immediately when Mary Margaret ushers him in and teases, “Regina tells me you seemed very taken with Emma. Do I feel a spark of romance coming on?”

Killian clenches his jaw. “Regina is mistaken. As I've told you dozens of times, I'm not interested in dating right now. Miss Swan's arrival has done nothing to change that.”

Mary Margaret gives him an arch look. “We'll see.”

He huffs and strides over to David to help set the table. “Your wife is playing matchmaker again.”

David chuckles and shakes his head. “She does it because she cares, you know.”

“I know. That doesn't mean I'm thrilled about it. Why doesn't she try playing matchmaker for someone else? Like Ruby, or Leroy.”

“Leroy? That would not be an easy task.”

“Exactly,” Killian says, arranging the napkins. “It'll keep her far too busy to meddle with my love life anymore.”

They finish setting the table and lounge on the bar stools for a few minutes until there is a knock at the door. Killian hangs back and waits while the hosts open the door and invite Emma inside. She is wearing black slacks that hug the curve of her legs, and a light gray cabled sweater that makes her face glow with warmth. She offers a bouquet of flowers to Mary Margaret who thanks her with a hug.

When she sees him, he smiles and nods. He's gotten so used to playing the third wheel for David and Mary Margaret that it only now hits him how this evening feels with Emma added to the mix – it feels like a double date.

Shit. This is the opposite of what he wanted. He hopes Emma doesn't think this is a set-up.

After David pours wine for Emma and his wife and offers Killian his usual iced tea, Emma smiles and says, “Well, to alleviate any awkward suspense, I think I should start out the night by telling you that yes, I want the job.”

They all share a round of relieved laughter. “That is excellent news,” replies Mary Margaret. “I was afraid I'd have to resort to bribery. David has been so overworked – we can't wait for you to start!”

Emma shrugs. “Yeah, I was pretty sure I wanted to stay when you made the offer, but I needed to give Henry a chance to weigh in. He really likes the town, so this is it.”

“I'm glad he likes it here,” Killian says. “I know how hard it is to be separated from family. Being able to settle so close to his father is great blessing.”

“It is. Close enough, but not too close,” Emma replies.

“Of course.”

With Emma's news out of the way, it's easier to relax into an enjoyable meal. Mary Margaret's roast chicken, potatoes and salad are delicious, and the conversation comes easily, in spite of the too-much-like-a-date atmosphere. They all give Emma tips on house-hunting and Mary Margaret tells her all about the school. Apparently Henry is finishing out the current year in a school near his father, but Emma plans on enrolling him in Storybrooke for the next school year.

“I can't wait,” says Mary Margaret. “He'll be a grade above what I teach by then, but I can help you make sure he ends up with the best teachers each year.” She gives Emma a wink.

From there the conversation flows so well that for a time Killian manages to forget the awkward set up of the evening. Until it's time for Emma to head back to Regina's for the night.

“Killian – you should walk with her. It's not right to send a lady home in the dark by herself,” says Mary Margaret as Emma is pulling on her jacket.

Emma raises her eyebrows. “Oh? I didn't think Storybrooke was known for being dangerous after dark.” Her voice is thick with sarcasm.

“It's not,” says Killian, subtly trying to give Mary Margaret whatever non-verbal signals he can that this line of conversation needs to be shut down immediately.

She doesn't take the hint.

“This is normally a perfectly safe town, but we have to uphold certain standards of old-fashioned charm. Which includes having men chivalrously offer to walk lone women home at night.”

David shrugs. “I think you might be stuck, Killian. Best to resign yourself to your fate now.”

With them teaming up on him he doesn't stand a chance. He sighs. “Well, Emma, it seems you and I are stuck with each other for a few more minutes, if you'll have me?”

She looks more amused than annoyed, much to his relief. “Yeah. Sure.”

They head out into the cool, clear night together. After a minute of awkward silence, Emma says, “Look – there's something I need to get off my chest.”

“Oh?” He's not quite sure what to expect, but what comes out of her mouth next is far from what he ever would have guessed.

She takes a deep breath. “I'm pretty sure that Regina and Mary Margaret have been conspiring together to set us up.”

Killian blinks rapidly and stops in his tracks. “What?” The mayor is the last person he could imagine taking an interest in his love-life. Though, he supposes, on her end at least she probably cares more about Emma's side of the equation.

Emma shakes her head, laughing. “Regina all but admitted it to me this afternoon. I know – silly, isn't it? I mean, we just met. I'm in the middle of moving to a new town. I haven't started my job. I don't have a place to live. The last thing I'm looking for right now is a boyfriend. No offense.”

“None taken,” he assures her, now silently fuming at his friends' meddling. Had David known about this?

She looks apologetic for a moment. “I mean – it's nothing personal.”

“No. No, I understand. You're going through a huge life change, right now. It's hardly the ideal moment to be seeking out a new romance. Ridiculous, really.” He tries to brush it all aside. To act like it's no big deal. He's been trying to quash his inappropriate attraction for days. This is a good thing. Isn't it?

“Good. I'm glad you understand,” she says, smiling. “I'll have a talk with Regina and make sure this doesn't happen again. We can both just... pretend like whole thing never happened.”

“I agree. It's for the best.” It  is. Truly. So why does he feel disappointed?

“Perfect.” She nods, and they start walking again. After another moment of silence, she adds. “I do like you, Killian. As a friend. I think you're a very interesting person, and I'd like to get to know you better. If we can just put this awkwardness behind us?”

“Absolutely.” Killian smiled. Yes. This was good. Things would be better, now. “I remember what it was like moving here, not knowing a single soul. It can be lonely, at first. I'm glad to be your friend, Emma. Anything I can do to help your move go easier, I'll be happy to provide.”

Emma's answering smile is the most sincere she's looked all evening. “Good. I might take you up on that.”

Soon enough they reach Regina's front walk, where he bids her goodnight. Yes. Friendship is what she needs right now. Nothing more, nothing less.

Still, it's hard not to think about her smile for the rest of the night.

~ ~ ~

“You did what?” Regina exclaims.

Emma sighs. She expected this reaction. “You heard me. I told him you and my mom were trying to set us up, and I shut it down. Told him I wasn't looking for a relationship – I just want to be friends.”

“But – but – now this could take months!” Regina stands in the middle of the living room, glaring down at Emma, who is slumped on the sofa.

Emma shrugs. She's no happier about it than Regina is. She misses her parents. She misses the real Killian. But having the fake Killian fawning over her was far worse. “This is the only way this is going to work. The first time around, Killian had no expectation of romance. He was my friend, and Henry's friend. It took a few months for that to evolve into something more. I can't leap into a fake relationship with him and expect the curse to break. And Henry won't be living with you until it does. So this is the only way. Deal with it.”

Regina throws her hands in the air. “Fine. Have it your way. Just don't expect me to be happy about it.” She storms out of the room.

“It's not about you, Regina,” Emma murmurs to herself. She grabs a throw pillow and hugs it to her chest. God, she misses him. She misses her family. She misses her life.

But if this is going to be real, taking her time is the only way.

Before she falls asleep, she grabs the insignia and clasps it in her hand, curled up against her heart.

~ ~ ~

Killian dreams of standing in a cemetery. He watches as a Bobcat fills a fresh grave. Snow drifts from the clouds above, dotting his black coat with white. Emma Swan stands beside him.

He doesn't know why they are there or who they are mourning, but he feels that they've both lost an important friend. Is this a premonition of some sort? It feels more like a memory, but that makes no sense. He met Emma less than a week ago.

Yet here they stand, mourning a mutual friend.

Silently they turn and walk toward the parking lot.

She needs a friend, now. The thought fills his mind. She came here alone and lost. I know how that feels. We can get through this together.

Killian wakes with the odd dream still running through his mind, and that final thought echoing – we can get through this together.

But get through what?

He sets the thought aside and gets up to start his day.

~ ~ ~

Now that his awkward attraction is behind him (well, mostly behind him), Killian is happy to have Emma become a part of his everyday life.

When he picks up coffee for his regular visit to David's office and knows Emma will be on duty as well, he adds a cup for her to his order. Within days he has her coffee preference memorized.

When she finds out that he does food distribution at the church food pantry every Thursday evening, she volunteers to help.

“I had to use food pantries off and on when I was younger,” she says with a shrug. “I think I'd like to pay it forward a little, now that I can.”

He ignores the way his gut tingles at her casual smile, and thanks her for the help. The first Thursday that she pitches in, she makes small-talk with his church administrator, Doris, and they seem to hit it off. She offers words of friendship and encouragement to everyone who stops by for a box of food, and he notices her repeating their names under her breath after they leave.

When he asks her why, she flushes and says, “These are the folks who need the most looking out for, in town. I just want to make sure I know who take care of when I'm out on my rounds.”

His heart swells at the thought. She's given plenty of hints about her rough childhood. For some, that kind of life would have made them hard and jaded. Somehow, hers has given her a bigger, more open heart.

He finds that he's coming to respect her more and more with every passing day (even in spite of the strange dreams that so often feature her, lately).

~ ~ ~

“Are you really sure about this slow and steady approach, Mom?” Henry asks before dipping his french fry in ketchup.

They sit across from each other in Granny's. This is Henry's third weekend visit since her return to Storybrooke. She's still not used to only seeing him for a few days a week, and she relishes every moment they spend together, greedily glad that Regina has no excuse to claim his time in this version of reality.

“I don't like it, but I don't think we have any choice. It has to be real, and taking our time is the only way.” It hurts her heart every time she has to face this truth, but she needs to be strong. Killian and her family are counting on her. She can't let them down.

Henry reaches out to take her hand. “I believe in you, Mom. If you think this is the right way, then I believe you'll make it work.”

“Thanks, kid.” She smiled.

As they are leaving Granny's, they run into Killian. He's happy to see them, and chats animatedly with them both.

“Do you like sailing ships, Henry?” he asks out of the blue.

Henry nods, smiling. “Yeah. I think they're cool.”

“Well, you'll have to see the one my church owns – The Jewel of the Realm. It was donated by a wealthy patron who kept it for pleasure cruises until he got too old to manage it. Right now I have a team of volunteers whipping it into ship-shape, and we're going to use it for youth adventure camps every summer, and run it as a museum to raise money for church programs the rest of the year. Would you like to visit it sometime?” His eyes are shining as he speaks, and Emma's heart skips a beat. He reminds her so much of the way he was right before they first started dating.

“Can I, Mom?” Henry implores.

“We're pretty booked for this weekend,” Emma says, not wanting to rush things. “But maybe next Saturday?”

“That sounds excellent,” Killian replies. “I could meet you at Regina's at three o'clock. We could spend the afternoon on the ship.”

“Sound like a plan,” Emma replies, taking a deep breath. This feels like progress. A real step toward the kind of relationship she is hoping to rebuild.

“Excellent,” he replies. Then his face shifts. “Strangest thing, Henry. I could swear I had a dream the other night about us building model ships together. Isn't that odd?”

Emma's breath catches in her throat. She can barely hear Henry's reply. Her own memories flood her thoughts, taking her back to the day she found Killian and Henry in the church rec room, books about model ships sitting on the table in front of them while they chatted and folded paper airplanes together. That was one of the first times she really considered the possibility of a romance with him.

Her hand twitches. The insignia. That has to be it. She hasn't been having any special dreams, but if Killian has... perhaps the insignia is letting her magic reach out to him in her sleep, jogging his old memories.

She'll have to make a point of holding it every night from now on, not just when she's feeling extra lonely.

After they say goodbye, she walks hand in hand with Henry feeling more hopeful than she has since her arrival.

~ ~ ~

“David would never admit as much, but his filing isn't a system so much as a vague concept,” Killian says, guiding Emma through one of the file drawers. It's David's day off, and when Killian dropped by to confirm their outing on Saturday, she asked for his help.

Her answering laugh triggers the most vivid memory. He could swear they've done this before. It must be from those blasted dreams. They were happening every night, lately.

He's begun to wonder if he should avoid Emma until the dreams go away. She's made it perfectly clear that she isn't looking for anything other than friendship right now, and while he's accepted that on a conscious level, his subconscious clearly hasn't caught on.

He shakes away the strange sense of deja vu and continues walking her through David's bizarre filing arrangement. He manages to relate some stories about Storybrooke's rather comical set of “repeat offenders,” none of whom would make it onto police radar in a bigger city.

He gets through the next hour of conversation without any more moments of discomfort brought on by his uncooperative subconscious. But when they go to put their last stacks of files away before he leaves, their hands brush against each other and he feels a rush of pure energy.

He freezes. Beside him, Emma takes a deep breath. Could it be possible that she feels equally rattled by the accidental touch.

Hesitantly, he raises his eyes to hers, and feels his heart skip a beat.

He's had a woman look at him with love in her eyes, before. He knows exactly what it looks like – exactly how it feels. It feels like this.

And then she looks away and pushes the cabinet drawer closed and the moment is broken. He's left wondering if it was all in his head.

They've known each other for three weeks – of course it's all in his head. For a moment before leaving he ponders calling off the outing with Emma and Henry on Saturday. He has plenty to do – coming up with a valid excuse will be no trouble. But when she smiles at him, he finds that he can't bring himself to do it.

Instead he heads home more confused than ever. It's become a perpetual state, ever since Emma's arrival. But how to solve this dilemma is something that continues to elude him.

~ ~ ~

Friday night, Killian dreams of Emma again.

They sit side by side on his sofa, and the air smells of cinnamon and chocolate.

She looks tired and stressed, but also perfectly at ease by his side.

“You are important to me, Emma. You and Henry both.” He feels as much as says it. Somehow he knows them, both of them, and cares about them more than he's cared about anyone in a long time.

Emma replies in a voice just above a whisper, her eyes never leaving his. “You're important to me, too.”

And then she leans toward him, and brushes her lips against his.

His mind explodes with light. Images swirl around him – a purple cloud billowing from the old wishing well in the woods – Emma standing in a rusty service elevator, a sword in her hand – Henry hugging him inside David's loft – Emma pulling him into the bathroom at Granny's and kissing him again and again...

He comes awake gasping and sweaty, aching with unwanted arousal.

He sits up and brushes the hair back from his face. These dreams are getting out of hand. If only they weren't so bloody realistic – like memories from another life.

He should have trusted his instincts and canceled the outing with the Swans when he had the chance. He needs some distance from her to get a handle on himself. But they're supposed to meet later that day. It will be rude to cancel now.

He takes a few more deep breaths and gets up to take a cool shower. He'll have to pull away from her, for the sake of both his sanity and her relationship boundaries. But not until after today.

~ ~ ~

Butterflies twitch in Emma's stomach as she waits for Killian to arrive. It's not a date – Henry is coming, after all. But there have been some moments over the last few days when she felt the same kind of electric attraction that she did during the first curse. And she's been sleeping with the insignia every night. That has be accomplishing something, though how much she can't say for certain.

“Calm down, Mom. Everything is going to be okay,” says Henry. He sits on the sofa watching her as she paces.

“Yeah.” She nods. “I hope so.” But she can't help but worry anyway.

Finally, the doorbell rings. She takes a deep breath and forces herself not to answer too quickly.

Killian greets her with a broad smile, and tells Henry he's glad to see him again. During the short drive to the docks, Killian keeps up a stream of advice to Henry regarding all the things a boy his age ought to know about the town for when he moves in full-time. Emma can't help but notice the way he fidgets as he speaks. He may sound confident and friendly, but she knows what Killian looks like when he's anxious, and this is definitely it.

Once they head up the gangplank of the ship he seems to relax. Even in this cursed persona, his ship is enough to make him feel more sure of himself. She smiles, her chest swelling with happiness, as he leads them around, describing all the parts of the ship with boyish enthusiasm.

They fall into a comfortable rhythm for the next hour as they tour the ship. Henry is full of questions – he wants to know everything about everything – and it keeps the conversation flowing well.

Every once in awhile, while Henry is busy playing with some ropes or rigging or one of the other bits of equipment, she turns her head to look at Killian, and finds him already looking at her. Most of the time he looks away quickly, but a couple of times he smiles first. It fills her whole body with a cozy, warm feeling.

This is finally starting to work. Maybe she'll have her real Killian back, soon. She'll have them all back.

~ ~ ~

The visit to the ship hasn't been nearly as awkward as Killian feared it would be. Henry's presence helps, of course, but it's not just that.

He's been so fixated on his overwhelming dreams that he'd forgotten they are nothing more than figments of his over-active subconscious. Spending time with the real Emma is completely different. Well – mostly different.

He can't deny that his attraction to her is still going strong. But he's also coming to enjoy her company as a friend. Which is something he'd like to continue to do if he can simply get these damn dreams to stop messing with his head.

After they've toured the ship from bottom to top, they lounge on the deck. Henry plays with the ship's wheel, and he and Emma lean side by side against one of the side railings and look out over the harbor.

“It's so gorgeous,” she says. “The sea near Boston was nice, too, but much busier. Here the fishing boats go out in the morning and come back at night, but in between there is just quiet and stillness. There's something magical about it.”

“I've often felt the same way, myself. Ever since the ship was donated, I've been so taken by it that Doris teases me by saying I must have been a sailor in another life,” he replies.

Emma studies him with a knowing smile that feels far more familiar than it should, given the extent of their relationship. “It suits you. I wouldn't be surprised if you manage to sail this thing all by yourself by the end of the summer.”

He chuckles at the thought. “I don't think I'm quite ready to tackle that particular challenge. I'd settle for successfully sailing it with a crew of ten. I doubt I could manage with much less.” His heart lifts at the thought of pulling away from the docks with the wind at their backs, pushing deep into the unknown sea. He'd love to have Emma there beside him, her hair blowing in the wind, laughter on her lips...

The sudden desire to kiss her nearly overwhelms him. He's already unconsciously leaning toward her before he realizes what he's doing.

He pulls back and stands up straight, edging away from her. What in heaven's name was he thinking? Henry is right there, a few meters away. Not to mention that Emma has made her lack of interest perfectly clear.

It's the influence of those bloody dreams, again. It has to be. He can't go on like this. It's not fair to Emma.

He thinks he glimpses a look of disappointment on her face just before he looks away from her. But he doubts he's reading her right. He hasn't known her long enough to understand all her expressions.

He coughs, clearing his throat. “I, uh, I'll go check on Henry.” He heads up the stairs to the ship's wheel.

He manages to get through the final half hour of their outing without further embarrassing himself, and walks them to Granny's where they've decided to have an early dinner. Emma invites him to join, but he manages to formulate an excuse about meeting one of his deacons for dinner, later.

He's ashamed of himself even as the lie comes out of his mouth. He's better than this. Isn't he?

Still, he can't help but feel relieved once they part ways.

He returns home and attempts to immerse himself in reviewing the sermon he's prepared for tomorrow, but after less than an hour he knows it's a hopeless cause.

Emma dominates his thoughts, popping back into the forefront of his mind every few minutes no matter what else he is trying to think of.

It's too much. Somehow he's fallen into an unhealthy obsession that will be good for neither him nor Emma. There's only one thing he can do – he needs to stay away from her until he can overcome this. She deserves a true friend, not an obsessive man with ulterior motives.

Until he can face her with an honest and open heart, he can't spend any more time with her. It's the only solution – no matter how much his heart cries out against it.

~ ~ ~

Emma attends Killian's Sunday service with Henry, again. They've made it a habit since this new curse began. She's still not sure if she's ready to believe in the same kind of God that Killian does, but listening to his sermons and the clear conviction behind them – and his conviction in the virtues of service, charity and forgiveness – helps her to appreciate his faith. She's beginning to understand why it means so much to him.

His eyes seem to graze over her a few times during the service, but he doesn't look at her directly. After the service he is quickly caught up in conversation with several parishioners, and never once looks her way.

She squeezes her lips together and tries not to let it bother her.

He seemed very – uncomfortable – when they parted ways yesterday. Things have been going so well. What did she do wrong?

After the service she hands Henry over to Regina for a few hours and goes on a walk to reflect on things.

Telling him she wasn't interested in dating felt like absolutely the right choice when she did it. And that choice  made a huge difference for the past three weeks. Instead of looking at her like a lovesick puppy, Killian has become much more the man she knew during the first curse – the man she started falling in love with. But now that they've shared a few moments of romantic tension (She knows he felt it, too. She just knows it.) she wonders if her adamant statement of disinterest is starting to backfire.

Has she sent too many mixed signals? How can she come back from that line she drew without looking manipulative or flaky?

Not for the first time she finds herself seething with anger at Cora for doing this to her. For doing this to all of them.

She stands at the waterfront clenching her fists and feels tears rising in her eyes. This is ridiculous. She can't let herself sink into a spiral of doubt, like this. Killian had faith in her. She just needs to have faith in herself.

~ ~ ~

Killian fills his week with appointments and errands scheduled in the very hours that he normally runs into Emma. He wants genuine excuses so he doesn't feel compelled to lie, again.

He convinces himself that if he avoids her and focuses on more worthy and productive activities, the dreams will soon subside.

But they don't.

The dream on Sunday night is simple enough. He and Emma sitting in his house, talking and laughing. It feels so comfortable and natural. Like this is how his life is meant to be.

The next night the dream is more potent and vivid than any of the others before it.

It starts off with a few flashes of walking down main street with Emma and Henry. Then, without warning, he feels a blinding pain in his left shoulder. His shoulder throbs and his coat is slick with blood, but even now Emma and Henry are all that seem to matter. Emma is in front of him, tears in her eyes.

“The power is in you. You are the key, Emma. You can save him,” he says. Henry. Henry is in trouble, and it terrifies him. But Emma can do this. He believes in her more than he's ever believed in anything or anyone.

Her voices shakes when she answers. “Why do you believe in me so much?”

He feels the conviction in his heart when he answers. “I believe in you because you already saved me.”

More images flash before his eyes . His brother on board The Jewel of Realm, dying in his arms. A noisy, dark pub surrounded by carousing men and women, while he feels empty and alone in spite of his smile. Again on the ship, a scaly man thrusts his hand into Milah's chest and pulls out her heart, crushing it to dust before Killian can stop him. A sword in his hand, thrusting into one victim after another.

And then he sees Emma, again. This time he sits in a hospital bed, his hand swathed in bandages. In his heart he knows that it is damaged beyond repair. Emma steps forward, her hands outstretched over him. A brilliant white light flows out of her palms to surround his hand, and then his whole body. He feels his hand once more strong and whole, and his other wounds healed. But more than that, the heart that had withered for countless years now feels full of life and hope in his chest.

“You saved me,” he whispers again, as she smiles at him.

Killian wakes abruptly and looks around his room with a racing heart. For a moment his own bedroom feels foreign and artificial in comparison to the dream. But soon he reorients himself and begins to calm his breathing. He has no idea why his subconscious is suddenly spinning these vivid fantasies. But that's all they are. He needs to let them go.

That day he picks up some over the counter sleeping pills. Perhaps those will be enough to banish the dreams.

They aren't.

The next two nights, the dreams are simpler. More images of walking or eating or driving around with Emma beside him. Even so, they feel so real. More real than some of his memories.

Friday evening he finds himself staring at the liquor store. He hasn't taken a drink in eight years. He made a commitment to himself and to his God. But even so, he's tempted. Would a drink or three be enough to dull the dreams?

Why does she haunt him like this? She's just a woman, like any other. Is his mind becoming unbalanced?

Maybe it's a sign, a thought intrudes into his mind. Maybe a higher power is trying to tell me we're supposed to be together.

He huffs at himself and shakes his head, turning away from the liquor store. God doesn't work like that.

He pulls out his phone and dials Dr. Hopper. He sets an appointment for Saturday afternoon. Maybe the doctor will have some insight into the nature of his obsessive and unceasing dreams. He's already tried prayer and medicine to banish them. Something more is needed.

Or I could just give in. I could go to her. I could tell her I have feelings for her. I could ask her to dinner. Why shouldn't I? The worst she can do is reject me. Perhaps that will be enough to end these dreams.

No. He's a rational man. Emma bears no responsibility for his state of distress, and it would be wrong of him to draw her into it. He'll try the doctor first. The doctor will know a way to get rid of these dreams.

Do I really want them gone?

He's not sure he knows the answer to that question, and that thought scares him more than anything else.

~ ~ ~

Emma finishes her usual patrol of the main street area and pulls the patrol car to the side of the road. She should be doing her job, but she can't think. She can't focus.

A pain has been growing in her chest – swelling with every passing day.

She picks up her phone and dials. It rings several times before Neal picks up.

“Emma? Henry's already asleep. Is something wrong?” he asks.

“You don't need to wake Henry,” she says quickly. “I wanted to talk to you, actually.”

“Really? What's up? You sound upset.”

A lump rises in her throat. She hadn't realized it would be so obvious. She barely chokes back a sob when she answers. “Yeah. I... things aren't going so good.”

“What is it?”

She takes a deep breath and closes her eyes as if she can block out the pain. “I screwed up. I don't even know how I screwed up, but I did. Killian's been avoiding me all week. And it's not just a coincidence – we bump into each other all the time on his normal schedule. He had to completely re-arrange his whole schedule just to avoid running into me.” Her voice catches again. “I lost him. I screwed up and now I'll never get them back.”

Tears roll down her cheeks.

Every day this week she woke up telling herself that today she would see him. Today he'd drop by with coffee, again. Today, things would get back on track.

But it's been six days since they last spoke, and five days since they were even within eye-shot of each other.

She came here to get him to fall in love with her again, and instead she's managed to scare him away for good.

Deep down she always knew the whole Savior thing was a load of crap. And now she is being proved right.

“Emma – it can't be that bad,” Neal says.

“It is! You aren't here, you don't know,” she bites back.

“And you don't know why he's avoiding you. I mean, didn't you tell him a few weeks back that you weren't interested in dating?”

“Yes,” she admits. She's been down this train of thought before, and it never leads anywhere productive. “But we were becoming friends. And now he doesn't even seem to want that anymore.”

“Look, Emma, I don't know if this will help any, but if I was really into someone – like really into her – and she told me that she just wanted to be friends, I'd respect that. I'd try. Like he was trying. But maybe it was getting too hard, y'know? Maybe he needs a little space – maybe he doesn't like being too close to the forbidden fruit, because it hurts too much.”

Emma leans back in her seat and shakes her head. “Killian isn't like that. He wouldn't abandon me just because he couldn't be with me romantically. He'd stand by me anyway.”

“Your Killian wouldn't abandon you. But right now he's not completely your Killian. There's the curse in there messing with his mind, making him into someone he's not. You gotta remember that part.”

“Maybe.” She sighed. “The last couple of weeks he's been so much like the real Killian. Maybe I was expecting too much too fast. I just...” She feels tears rising again. “I miss him. I miss him so much. And I miss being around my friends and parents with them actually remembering me and loving me. And I miss Henry. I don't know how much longer I can keep doing this.”

There it is. The cold, hard truth. She's running out of stamina. Every day hurts more than the one before. She feels like she's pushing herself through a fog of depression every time she wakes up and has to face a town full of people who have no idea who she really is.

Killian's abandonment is almost more than she can bear.

“Emma – if you need a break, I'm always here for you. Me and Henry. You can come spend the weekend with us, if you want.”

For a moment, she's tempted. A whole weekend to relax with Henry, without having to lie or pretend every time she talked to someone.

But the way Neal behaved right before the new curse – the way he tried to convince her to leave Killian and come back to him – is still enough to make her doubt his motives. He's still hurting from everything with Tamara. The time with Henry is helping, but she's worried that he'll try to talk her into giving up on breaking the curse. To give up on magic and fairy tales and to walk away from that life forever.

She wouldn't say yes, but she knows she'd be tempted, and even that leaves her ashamed of herself.

Killian never gave up on her – her parents never gave up on her – not once.

She can't give up on them. Not without a fight.

“No. I can't leave. Not right now.”

“Okay. I get it.” He sounds disappointed, and she's glad she held her ground.

“Look,” he says, “if he really is stepping back because he has feelings for you, the best thing you can do is tell him you have feelings for him, too. Give him a little hope. Maybe that'll get things back on track.”

As scary as his advice sounds, he might be right. “Okay. I'll try. Thanks for listening. I just needed to vent to someone other than Regina. She's getting a little difficult to deal with.”

“I can imagine. I'll always be here for you if you need me, Emma. You know that, right?” Neal says.

If he'd offered that statement when he first arrived in Storybrooke, she'd have rolled her eyes. But now she thinks she believes him. “I do. Thanks.”

After hanging up she cruises around town one last time, and slows the car almost to a standstill as she passes Killian's house. A light is shining in his bedroom. She almost pulls over, before thinking better of it and heading back to the station instead. Pounding on his door in the middle of the night isn't the right way to handle things.

But sometime this weekend, she'll find him, and she'll talk to him, and she'll admit that she was wrong when she said they shouldn't date. She's terrified, but if this is what it takes, she's ready.

It can't possibly be worse than facing a dragon.

TBC

[tialovestelevision]

The Prom

All right… time for the season to start closing out. The pieces are in place, everyone knows everyone else’s deal - other than the nature of the Ascension, which we’re still partially in the dark about. But we know it’s bad and that the Mayor needs to eat spiders to do it. That’s probably enough to be going on with, right? 1. Even if I was in love with it, I still would be uncomfortable with my natural predator - the only one my species has left - watching me sleep. 2. “That’s what couples do. They have drawers.” 3. Angel is uncomfortable with the hot blonde who he can’t sleep with without losing his soul in his bed. Also, with said blonde opening the curtains and letting a massive beam of sunlight in. 4. The opening sequence makes Buffy and Angel’s life-or-death, horribly traumatic, world at risk swordfight look fun. 5. “Guest starring Kristine Sutherland.” 6. Anya is talking to Xander. Why is Anya talking to Xander? 7. “One of is confused, and I don’t know which.” 8. “I know you find me attractive. I’ve seen you looking at my breasts.” 9. The sock puppet of love. I really don’t need to know your masturbation habits, Xander. 10. Joyce is visiting Angel. She can walk into his house without an invitation. 11. Angel gets jittery with caffeine. 12. Joyce is about to encourage Angel to break up with Buffy. Angel is one of the two actually positive influences in her life. He’s in a bad sort of relationship with her for that, but he’s far better for her than Joyce is. 13. “Can’t you ever get your mind out of the Hellmouth?” 14. “And I will be wearing pink taffeta, as chemille will not go with my complexion.” I’m impressed that Giles has the language to make that joke. 15. Someone’s training a demon using VHS tapes. 16. Buffy is dreaming about marrying Angel. It’s pretty. When is it going to go wrong? 17. They’re leaving the church and heading out into daylight. And Buffy is on fire. Ah, Angel was dreaming. 18. “Couldn’t this be the vamp that got away We could say he was this big!” 19. Found the vampire. 20. “You have something face.” I’ve said that to my girlfriend, and she to me. 21. “He was right.” You remember the Mayor is evil and trying to turn into a demon and eats spiders, right? 22. Sensible polyamory, Angel. Sensible polyamory is a better idea that breaking up with Buffy. 23. “Who are you to tell me what’s right for me? Do you think I haven’t thought about this?” 24. “I want my life to be with you.” “I don’t.” “You don’t want to be with me?” Silence from Angel. Buffy misread the thing he said 25. That means giving up that awesome house, Angel! You have an awesome house! 26. First breakups are really, really hard. It’s a kind of pain that’s new to the person experiencing it. 27. Well, the demon got away. That’s fun. 28. Xander is tormenting Cordy again. And now he knows she’s working at the shop. 29. Cordy’s father got caught in tax fraud, and now Cordy has no money and can’t afford fancy clothes or college. 30. And now the demon is murdering a dude in a tux. And rampaging through the dress store. 31. Cordy has the right of it, I think. The demon is trained to attack people in formalwear. 32. It’s a hellhound. I would expect hellhounds to be more houndish. D&D has better hellhounds. 33. Willow is hacking email accounts. Is she phishing? There’s no sign of that. 34. Cordy was, in fact, right. 35. “I’m going to give you guys a nice, fun, normal evening, if I have to kill every single person on the face of the Earth to do it.” 36. Buffy runs into Angel at the meat packing plant. Where does Angel get his money from? 37. Where did Angel and Anyanka get the basic paperwork to function in the economy? 38. Buffy is banishing her friends to the prom. 39. “I understand that this sort of thing requires ice cream of some kind.” Giles just actually made me cry. 40. I like Anya’s dress! I less like the school gym as a setting for prom… aren’t proms usually held off-campus? I know mine was held at an event hall forty-five minutes or so away from my high school. 41. Wesley does look good in a tux. 42. Wesley just got an eyeful of Cordy. 43. Ooh, Oz and Willow! I love Oz’s vest. And everything about Willow’s outfit. 44. Huh. Xander paid off the dress. That’s a surprisingly decent thing for him to have done. 45. I’m not sure what Giles just saw. 46. Oh, he released three hellhounds already. 47. Buffy just dropped one of the three. She should have worn a tux. Now the hellhounds are on their way to the prom again. 48. Did Buffy finish off all the hellhounds already? There’s almost ten minutes of show left. Though now she’s burying them. 49. And putting her dress on. 50. Her dress is very pretty! 51. Giles is delighted with her. Xander did not win an award. 52. Jonathan has to lower the mic stand. 53. And Jonathan just made me cry. That was well done. 54. “For God’s sake, man, she’s 18, and you have the emotional maturity of a blueberry scone. Just have at it, would you? And stop fluttering about.” 55. “I had no idea that children en masse could be… gracious.” 56. And here’s Angel. Because this is important to Buffy. 57. Huh. Jonathan is dancing with someone. Overall: That was also very good! The demonic evil plot wasn’t very good, but it didn’t have to be - it was there to produce a few emotional beats; the A-plot of the episode was the social and emotional stuff surrounding the Prom itself, and that was masterfully handled. Giles’s comforting of Buffy, and Jonathan’s speech, were the highlights of the episode. While I didn’t like Joyce adding her two cents to Angel about his relationship with Buffy, I did buy it, and it fits that this plus the Mayor’s speech an episode ago would get Angel focused on the unsustainability of his relationship with Buffy - something that’s been on his mind anyway. I’m not sure if Joyce and the Mayor are right, but what they’re saying makes sense on a gut level. Buffy’s life is very strange.

[powerfultulips]

wlw/mlm asks! all.

1. describe your crush / partner.

sweet, kind, handsome, romantic, precious, adorable, cute, soft, lovely, amazing, perfect, wonderful, caring, huggable, kissable, cuddly, gorgeous, breathtaking

2. describe your perfect date.

we’ve had some pretty perfect dates tbh,, the art museum, good morning concert, and our first date are my favourites so far! i think my perfect date would be a full day out with them, without ever having to drive or worry about money. like that time my mom took us to the museum and paid for everything. except then my mom was there.

3. describe your dream house.

modest, but comfortable. i’d have enough guest rooms to accommodate several friends if they ever needed a place to sleep, or just wanted to hang out for a few days. maybe a balcony looking out over the city, but that’s kinda more of an apartment thing, and i’m not even sure i would want a second story. a basement would be cool though, i dig basements.

4. describe your dream life.

my lover and i grow old together, living comfortably off our passions and interests. i’ve written a few best-selling novels, or i’m a successful therapist, or i’m pitching in the big leagues. or maybe all three. we volunteer at a local queer/trans youth group in our free time, and we go on a special date on the 23rd of every month.

5. describe your ideal partner.

see question #1, but they’re also in my arms instead of being SO FAR AWAY

6. morning cuddles or night cuddles?

b,,,,both 🥺

7. big spoon or little spoon?

both are good, but i do really love being the big spoon!

8. hugs or kisses?

i think i prefer hugs, actually. i really like both though, but hugs make me feel so safe and comfortable.

9. walks on the beach or walks in the forest?

i guess i’m okay with either, i really like walking with my love, but we usually walk around a park, or just around the city

10. sitting on your partner’s lap or them on yours?

i don’t know that i have a preference, i like both!

11. favourite lgbt movie?

love, simon is the only one i’ve seen. so that one

12. favourite lgbt book?

not a book per sé, but i really like avi cantor has six months to live by sacha lamb.

13. favourite lgbt character?

i don’t know that i have any other than OCs and headcanons, and i don’t even really have many of the latter. so i guess just,,, my OC jack probably? he’s really neat and i like him

14. favourite lgbt ship?

like,,,, davekat or rosemary i guess?

15. favourite lgbt song?

“gender nightmare” by art project

16. what’s your favourite thing about your partner / crush?

how could i pick just one? his body, his smile, his voice, everything about him is so perfect to me. but the thing that really stands out is the way he treats me, how good he is to me even when i feel like i don’t deserve a single good thing.

17. what’s the best thing to do with your partner / crush?

honestly, just cuddling with them is my favourite.

18. how did you meet your partner / crush?

we met at a queer youth group! we first bonded over glass animals, they were playing music for the group and i recognised it and started talking to them!

19. what first attracted you to your partner / crush?

they had really cool hair and i admired their confidence

20. what’s something that reminds you of your partner / crush?

a lot of things. i have a big playlist for them, a few of their stuffies, some of their clothes in my room, and even just hearing their name can remind me of them. we do talk a lot though, so it’s not like they ever really get a chance to slip my mind

21. what’s your lgbt identity?

i’m queer and transfeminine!

22. when did you realise you’re lgbt?

i started questioning almost four years ago, i’m not fully sure when i realised i was actually lgbtq+, but i think it took a few months. even longer to realise like, my true identity, if that’s what you would call the current state of me.

23. do you fit any stereotypes for your sexuality?

i have like 7 nasa shirts i feel like that fits a stereotype

24. have you ever been to pride?

yeah, two or three times. first time i got big anxiety and left, second time i had work and had to just pop by for a few minutes to say hi to some friends before catching the bus, and third time almost got rained out, but it was a fucking amazing experience with some of my best friends in the world

25. how did you / do you plan to come out?

well i’ve come out several times to several different groups of people, and i think i did it a little differently each time. i wish i never had to come out again, to be honest, but i’m really glad to be out and proud.

26. do you remember the name of your first crush?

my first big crush was named maddy

27. how did your first kiss go?

it was an accident

28. what did you do on your first date?

my first date with @literally-an-envelope, we went to panera, then walked to a local show, got tacos after, and went to fuck around a walmart at 3am. and then i brought him home without asking my parents (:

29. who was the first person you came out to

probably a stranger on the internet, i hid behind a “fake” name so nobody would recognise me and made a secret instagram account to be gay on

30. pick a question of your choice + answer it.

like, again? i already answered them all. i’m making up my own question. (nevermind this is too hard.)

[topfygad]

TOP 50 Music Festivals in the USA • US Festival Bucket List [2020]

Looking for the best music festivals in the USA!? Well, you’ve come to the right place, because I’ve compiled the ultimate US festival bucket list to keep you plenty busy for many festival seasons to come!

In the last decade, the popularity of the festival industry and amount of new events hitting North America has been exponential, and every year they’ve just been getting bigger and better! From weekend-long camping adventures, dusk-til-dawn mega raves, and small boutique festivals – this list has got it covered! 

While attending ALL of these would require a significantly large amount of money, time, and energy – it would certainly be the adventure of a lifetime (and something I’m personally trying to achieve)!  

So without further ado, here’s what I think are…

Credit: Alive Coverage

1) Bonnaroo Music and Arts Festival

Photo by Andrew Jorgensen

When: June 11-14, 2020

Where: Great Stage Park, Manchester, Tennessee

www.bonnaroo.com | www.facebook.com/bonnaroo

The most positive place on this planet, and a once-in-a-lifetime experience, every time.

“Bonnaroo is…Thousands of happy campers. 700 acres of Tennessee nature. 150 epic performances. 10+ Stages of music. Dozens of comedians. 4 of the best days ever. An escape into Excitement. Music. Art. Discoveries. Trees. Fresh Air. Green Grass. A mini film fest. Friends (Old / New). Adventure. Overwhelming happiness. Hugging a stranger by accident. Sharing and Generosity. Funky Dancing. Hyperbolic verbiage. System overload. The perfect bite of ice cream. Sandals. Fallovers. Chirping Birds. Flashing Lights. Food and Drink. Variety. Singing. Laughing. Short shorts. High-Fives. Rocky IV in the cinema tent at 3am. Spicy Pie. Memories. Someone dressed up like Teen Wolf. Holy Cow(!) Moments. Interesting factoids. Egg sandwiches. More music. Adventure. Deep Breaths. Big smiles. This. That. The Other. Hellos and Goodbyes and reminders of all that we have to celebrate and look forward to next year and in the future.”

Photo by Andrew Jorgensen

Bonnaroo features a diverse lineup of 150+ musicians and other performance artists every year. With 10+ stages and entertainment that goes ALL NIGHT LONG, you will NOT be bored. AND Camping at Bonnaroo is hardly “camping” by most definitions of the word – it’s a non-stop adventure of discovery and human connection with your fellow Bonnaroovians, and a key to the one-of-a-kind Bonnaroo experience.

Watch this incredible short film below for just a small glimpse about what Bonnaroo is all about!

2) Coachella Valley Music and Arts Festival

When: Fri, Apr 10, 2020 – Sun, Apr 19, 2020 (Two Weekends)

Where: Empire Polo Club, Indio, California

Website: https://ift.tt/1ANevsK

Coachella is arguably the most iconic and famous music & arts festival in the United States (and quite possibly the entire world). If you haven’t been, I can guarantee you it’ll certainly be an experience that you’ll never forget. While it may be notoriously expensive, I personally think it’s worth every penny. Each year Coachella provides an undeniably impressive line-up spanning nearly every music genre, epic stage production, world-class food & drink vendors and a fantastic festival atmosphere.

Being a favorite among the dozens of quality music festivals in California, tickets do sell-out almost instantly, so make sure your festival squad plan ahead and scoop up some tickets while you can! I’ve attended Coachella in 2014 & 2018, and I had the time of my life, and can’t wait to return to the magical  Empire Polo Club for another round for Coachella 2020! 

Check out this Coachella after movie below for some stunning footage!

3) Governor’s Ball

Photo by Greg Noire via Gov Ball’s Facebook

When: June 5-7, 2020

Where: Randall’s Island Park, New York City

https://ift.tt/2j4ln1d

For the east coast residents looking to enjoy an unbelievable festival with the iconic NYC skyline as a backdrop, make your way to Governor’s Ball. Widely recognized as one of the biggest and best festivals in New York, this definitely deserves a top spot on your bucket list! Located on the beautiful and well-maintained Randall’s Island Park, festival-goers are treated to three days of world-class music, phenomenal stages, and good vibes. 

“We started all this 8 years ago because we were music lovers who lived in a city that needed – that deserved – a contemporary music festival. Music is always our primary focus, and with 60+ artists of all genres across 4 stages, there is something for everyone.”

4) Outside Lands Music Festival

When: August 7-9, 2020

Where: Golden Gate Park, San Fransisco, California

Website: https://ift.tt/2n7PdZe

Outside Lands is Northern California’s premiere music festival, and I can personally say that it’s an absolute blast! It’s a local favorite among San Franciscans, and there really is a special and relaxing festival vibe for these three days in Golden Gate Park. While tickets, food, and drink costs are rather high (like everything in SF), it’s an incredible event that you should definitely check out at least once! 

The line-ups are always super-diverse (and I always discover tons of new artists), the production is fantastic, and you’ll simply fall in love with the venue (located in the heart of San Francisco). While Outside Lands Music Festival finishes early (around 10 PM), the city is filled with afterparties and sideshows of the artists on the line-up, and it really is a great time to visit the city. If you don’t want to spend the money for the full 3-day general admission, just buy a one-day ticket for your preferred day of the line-up, and spend the rest of your time partying it up in San Francisco’s thriving nightlife scene

Read my festival reviews from 2017 & 2018:

 Outside Lands Music Festival: The Ultimate Golden Gate Park Party

Outside Lands Festival 2018 | Top 10 Weekend Highlights

5) Austin City Limits 

Photo by Sydney Gawlik

When: October 4 – Oct 13, 2019 (Two Weekends)

Where: Austin, Texas

https://ift.tt/2goek2e

2 Weekends, 8 Stages, and Over 130 bands

Since its first edition in 2002, Austin City Limits has grown to become one of the largest and most well-known festivals in the US! With its growth in popularity, it’s expanded to a two-weekend event that offers its attendees some of the best international artists spanning all genres, fine arts exhibits by local artists, and incredible Texas BBQ, as well dozens of other delicious food & drink vendors.

6) Lollapalooza

Credit: Charles Reagan

When: July 30- August 2, 2020

Where: Grant Park, Chicago

Genre: Various

https://ift.tt/2e5AEOR

“What started as a single-stage music showcase put together in 1991 by Perry Farrell, lead singer of Jane’s Addiction, has since evolved into a larger-than-life music experience like no other. Connecting with the city’s deep musical legacy, Lollapalooza set down roots and made Chicago its home in 2005—and it hasn’t looked back. Now a destination event, thousands of fans travel from around the world to experience the massive crowds, scenic lakefront setting, and incredible entertainment every summer.”

Lollapalooza is Chicago’s biggest (and longest) summer festival that brings together the biggest names in music every year! Located in the beautiful Grant Park with the Chicago skyline as a backdrop, it’s a four-day adventure that will surely be a highlight of your summer. Plus, you’ll be able to destroy those festival hangovers with some delicious deep-dish pizza! 

7) Ultra Music Festival

Photo credit: RUDGR

When: March 20-22, 2020

Where: Miami

https://ift.tt/1TDR79B

For over 20 years, ULTRA Music Festival has invited guests to downtown Miami for a weekend of top-notch electronic music, and in recent years, has been producing events in nearly every corner of the globe. From Australia to Japan, Buenos Aires to Croatia – ULTRA has proven repeatedly it’s one of the best music festival productions in the world. 

While in 2019, ULTRA was forced to move venues due to issues with the city of Miami, I’m stoked that ULTRA 2020 will be returning to its iconic venue of Bayfront Park in Downtown Miami, Florida. It’s always the main highlight of Miami Music Week, and is truly an experience that every EDM fan should experience at least once in their life. While ticket prices may be high for the average festival attendee, once you get a look at the star-studded line-up, it makes perfect sense! 

“For EDM fans around the world, Ultra in Miami is a must-stop on the international circuit. While most of the United States is shivering in parkas waiting for the summer festival season, Ultra fans are dancing their asses off in sunny Miami. The show always delivers surprises – both in the musical acts and the fans that attend.”

8) Firefly Music Festival

Credit: Alive Coverage

When: June 2020

Where: The Woodlands, Dover, Delaware

https://ift.tt/HTHiEm

“Taking place annually in the beautiful Woodlands of Dover, Delaware – Firelfy Music Festival is the East Coast’s largest music and camping festival! Featuring incredible live performances by genre-bending artists, unique food and drink vendors and a one-of-a-kind onsite camping experience, The Great Atlantic Campout, Firefly Music Festival has become a can’t miss summer event for legions of fans.”

“Firefly. This is like the new Glastonbury of America!”   – Marcus Mumford of Mumford and Sons

9) Electric Daisy Carnival

When: May 15-17, 2020

Where: Las Vegas Boulevard, Las Vegas

Homepage

All Are Welcome Under the Electric Sky | Dusk Til’ Dawn

Electric Daisy Carnival (EDC for short) Las Vegas is the largest electronic dance music festival in North America, but pretty much every EDM fan already knows that. What started in 1997 as a warehouse party in Los Angeles, has turned into one of the wildest, massive, and mesmerizing dance music festivals in the entire world, and simply should be at TOP at every raver’s bucket list!  

Now I’ve personally attended EDC three different times now: the last edition that was hosted in Los Angeles (2011), the first year it was brought out to Las Vegas (2012), and once again in Vegas back in 2014. It truly is unlike any festival I’ve been to in the USA, and is one of the most impressive events in the world! I’ve gotta give it up to Pasquale Rotella and the team over Insomniac events because they go above & beyond to ensure the “headliners” (the attendees) all have a life-changing experience every year!! 

“EDC is a unique multi-day festival pushing the boundaries of imagination and setting standards in the live entertainment industry. By incorporating carnival themes and attractions, cutting-edge stage production, world-class talent, and innovative art and technology, EDC is more than an electronic music festival – it is an unparalleled multi-sensory experience unlike any other. The brand has created a passionate community of accepting fans that have turned EDC into a way of life. The foundation upon which the phenomenon was built is one of unity, love, self expression, and respect for one another.”

10) Electric Forest 

Image via Don Idio – https://ift.tt/2oV7eeP

When: Late June 2020

Where: Rothbury, Michigan

https://ift.tt/2Oq1RPq

“Have you ever felt anything like it? The beat of the bass charging the atmosphere with electrifying energy. Bolts of lightning streaking through the forest, arcing around the trees, and captivating the crowd into awe.A mind-melting experience of community, woodland, and rhythm bringing 45,000 people together every year in a musical-matrix of natural and electric vibrations…”

Out of all the US music festivals on this list, I’d argue that Electric Forest wins for having the best venue! Tucked deep in the woods of Michigan, once a year pops up a magical land filled magical lights & lasers shining through the massive trees, epic stages with performances from world-class artists, and top-notch vibes from the loving #ForestFamily. Make sure you snag tickets to this one early, because they are certainly hard to come by! It’s one of the most highly sought after music festivals in the country, and is guaranteed to be one of the highlights of your summer!   

While I have yet to attend myself, I’m really hoping that Electric Forest 2020 will be my year! Everyone I know who has been says nothing buy incredible things, and that it’s simply a place you have to visit to fully understand it! 

11) Hangout Festival

When: May 15-17, 2020

Where: The Gulf Shores, Alabama

https://ift.tt/VUw58j

Hangout Music Festival is a massive 3-Day beach extravaganza complete with beach clubs, ocean swimming, sailing expeditions, roller discos, free yoga, beach volleyball, a puppy kissing booth, Ferris wheel views, beautiful art installations, and so much more! While Alabama might not be the first place you think of for a “destination festival”, Hangout Music Festival is produced by Goldenvoice (the same company behind Coachella), so you know it’s guaranteed to be an incredible beach and music festival vacation. Take a look through their previous line-ups, and you’ll understand the talent they bring out. 

Join the Hangout Music Festival 2020 Facebook Event

12) South by South West (SXSW) 

Atmosphere – Outdoor Stage – Photo by David Brendan Hall

When: March 13-22, 2020

Where: Austin

Home

“It’s not that South by Southwest takes over Austin — downtown Austin becomes SXSW for nine days in March. Music, art, interactive, panels, comedy, and movies all vie for your attention span. Let’s put it this way. You could skip media for a year, come to Austin for the week, and still come out ahead on pop culture.

Founded in 1987 in Austin, Texas, SXSW is best known for its conference and festivals that celebrate the convergence of the interactive, film, and music industries. The event, an essential destination for global professionals, features sessions, showcases, screenings, exhibitions, and a variety of networking opportunities. SXSW proves that the most unexpected discoveries happen when diverse topics and people come together.”

  13) Electric Zoo 

When: End of August 2020

Where: Randall’s Island Park

http://electriczoo.com/

“Established in 2009 by Made Event, the internationally renowned Electric Zoo Festival is one of New York City’s largest music festivals and features the top names in electronic music, bringing a wide variety of acts from around the world and across the spectrum of electronic music’s various sub-genres. International editions of Electric Zoo have taken place in Mexico City, Tokyo, Shanghai, and São Paulo.

Electric Zoo celebrates the joy of electronic music every year by putting on one of the biggest, most immersive festival experiences in the world.”

It is said that change is not only a natural part of life but the only way to reveal true beauty. Just think about the metamorphosis that a caterpillar undergoes to become an exquisite butterfly. It’s pretty mind-blowing. Thus, we’ve taken such inspiration and tied it into this year’s theme, Electric Zoo: Evolved.

14) Kaaboo Del Mar Festival

Credit: Alive Coverage

When: September 18-20, 2020

Where: Petco Park

https://ift.tt/1EIlrIN

Southern California’s largest music, comedy, art and culinary festival!

“Forget what you know about music festivals, we’ve shifted the paradigm and built something new. KAABOO is the perfect weekend escape, described in a word that comes from whatever the hell we feel like yelling when we’re high on life and having fun. A curated three-day sound voyage that combines rock-n-roll music and tastemaking events in a modern wonderland on the warm shores of the pacific. Where every detail is designed for your enjoyment and clean, comfortable amenities inspire you to break from your busy life, let loose and enjoy the experience. Welcome to KAABOO, the place where all of your senses align.”

And exciting news, that beginning in September 2020, KAABOO Del Mar, will celebrate its sixth festival event with a move to America’s number one ballpark (Petco Park, home of the San Diego Padres) and its surrounding venues, and will feature a variety of headlining music hitmakers and legends of varying genres, and offer an unrivaled level of entertainment throughout the weekend.

15) BUKU Music + Art Project

Credit: Alive Coverage

When: March 20-21, 2020

Where: New Orleans, Louisiana

https://ift.tt/2QBnEVY

Urban music+art festival meets epic warehouse party celebrating the progressive subculture of New Orleans.

“Buku is a New Orleans playground. The lines between fan and performer are blurred. Am I looking at art or sitting on it? Does it matter? Let go and immerse yourself in: BUKULTURE. Music & art feel different like this! We believe in those who strive to be dope. Originality, creativity, freedom, and community is our anthem. If you’re in the BUKREWE, you know! If not, come join us”

16) Lightning In A Bottle

When: May 20-25, 2020

Where: Buena Vista Lake, Kern County, California

https://ift.tt/RiiYhm

Lightning in a Bottle, or more commonly referred to as “LIB”, is one of the largest transformational music festivals in the USA

While it always boasts an incredible electronic line-up, there is much to more to this spiritually awakening festival.  Many friends of mine have called it their favorite festival they’ve ever attended, and it will easily be a life-changing festival experience.  Go to some workshops, do some yoga, take a refreshing dip in the lake, watch the sunrise, and party like there’s no tomorrow!

Celebrating Art, Music, Performance, Sustainability & Life. 

“The history of LIB spans more than a decade, and friends, family, and co-horts of The Do LaB are thrilled and astounded that it’s been more than ten years of making miracles and catching Lightning in a Bottle!”

17) Shaky Knees Music Festival

When: May 20-25, 2020

Where: Central Park, Atlanta, Georgia

https://ift.tt/2jdX8hF

“Drawing in nearly 40,000 attendees, Shaky Knees Festival brings a highly desired indie scene to the streets of downtown Atlanta, Georgia. In an era where most festival headliners feature a variation of EDM/DJ acts, Shaky Knees lives to show another side of modern-day music.

With more than 60 bands each year Shaky Knees is a rock lover’s dream. Since its inception in 2013, Shaky Knees has featured a diverse lineup ranging from world-renowned acts to up-and-coming artists.”

18) Made in America 

Credit: Matthew Chen

When: August / September (Labor Day weekend)

Where: Philadelphia

Home

“The Made in America music festival is a massive musical celebration that takes over the Benjamin Franklin Parkway each Labor Day weekend in Philadelphia. With dozens of top performers and multiple stages on the Benjamin Franklin Parkway, the two-day music festival curated by Jay-Z is one of the year’s can’t-miss events. Every year, Jay-Z hand-picks a lineup of both established and up-and-coming musicians to perform throughout the weekend — and sometimes, you can even find Jay-Z singing along in the crowd.”

Credit: Michael Allen

19) Summerfest

When: June 24- July 5, 2020

Where: Milwaukee, Wisconsin

http://summerfest.com/

“Summerfest presented by American Family Insurance is the World’s Largest Music Festival and Milwaukee’s cornerstone summer celebration that attracts the music industry’s hottest stars, emerging talent and local favorites.”

Lasting for over 11 days across 11 different stages, and 800 performances – Summerfest is attended by a staggering 800,000 people! So check it out for one day, or all 11, but just make sure you add it to your US festival bucket list!

Join the Summerfest 2020 Facebook Event

20) Lost Lands

Image via https://ift.tt/2oV7eeP

When: September 27-29, 2019

Where: Thornville, Ohio

Genre: EDM, Bass, Dubstep

Lost Lands 2019 Home Page

ESCAPE THE CONFINES OF THE WORLD OUTSIDE AND FIND YOURSELF IN AN IMMERSIVE ENVIRONMENT SURROUNDED BY DINOSAURS, BEATS, AND BASS. LOST LANDS MANIFESTS A FORWARD-THINKING VISION TO DELIVER AN UNFORGETTABLE FESTIVAL EXPERIENCE AND UNITE HEADBANGERS TOGETHER AS ONE TRIBE.

“Experience Lost Lands, presented by Excision, at the beautiful Legend Valley in Thornville, OH this September! See the land before time in all its glory — dinosaurs included. The insane Lost Lands lineup is curated by Excision himself, & it’s sure to rattle the fields right down to their core.  Grab your tickets and catch the top artists from the past 65 million years and join us for the filthiest 3 days of bass you have ever experienced!”

21) Movement Electronic

Credit: Katie Laskowska

When: Memorial Day Weekend 2020

Where: Detroit

https://www.movement.us

“Each year on Memorial Day weekend, thousands of people from across the globe gather in the birthplace of Techno to celebrate the heritage of Detroit and its musical influence over countless generations, new and old. Movement Music Festival is one of the longest-running dance music events in the world, committed to showcasing authentic electronic music and providing an experience unlike any other. The festival takes place in Hart Plaza – Detroit’s legendary riverfront destination. ”

22) Groove Cruise

When: January 9-13, 2020  

Departing: Miami 

OFFICIAL GROOVE CRUISE WEBSITE

Groove Cruise is the OG music festival cruise, and will without-a-doubt be one of the best experiences of your life! I’ve personally attended three different Groove Cruise voyages, and it’s truly the most loving atmosphere I’ve ever encountered in the music festival industry. There’s something unexplainably magical that occurs when the #GCFAM gets together, and they always deliver stacked line-ups with a mix of EDM, House, Trance, and Techno, as well provide a deliver a wide variety of unique activities onboard the cruise. Plus, they sail to beautiful locations in the Caribbean and Meixico, so it’s the perfect music vacation for music festival lovers!

Check out my Groove Cruise festival reviews for a bit more information, and I hope to see you on board!

23) Life is Beautiful 

Credit: Alive Coverage

When: September 2020

Where: Downtown Las Vegas

https://ift.tt/1Ap4TrE

“Life is Beautiful takes over Downtown Las Vegas for a three-day weekend each year, promising festival-goers a host of surprises in four key areas: Art, Music, Food and Learning – truly providing something for everyone. The lineup mixes popular acts such as Imagine Dragons, Kendrick Lamar, Major Lazer, Brandon Flowers and Hozier with classic icons such as Duran Duran and Stevie Wonder.

Street art, huge murals, installations and a multi-sensory Art Motel entice art-lovers, and a VIP area – complete with celebrity chef cooking demos, real grass to lounge on and free lemonade – helps you forget the desert heat.”

24) Imagine Music Festival

When: September 2020

Where: Atlanta Motor Speedway, Atlanta

https://ift.tt/1lsxj5G

We look forward to bringing your imagination to life! Welcome to the Imagine Music Festival.

When it comes to the best EDM festivals in America, this is the ONE I’m personally dying to check out myself! Everyone I know who has attended has expressed how amazing it is, and every year the Imagine Festival crew wow their attendees with stacked line-ups, impressive stage designs, and unbeatable rave community vibes!

  It’s no surprise it’s recently been voted as one of “Top 20 Festivals in the World” by Fest300, as well as in the “Top Ten Emerging Music Festivals by USA Today”!  

  “When Imagine Music Festival arrives, the event will transport festival-goers to an immersive aquatic fairytale featuring multiple magnificent stages with world-class sound and lighting production. Wander through fantastic atmospheres filled with mind-bending circus performers, mermaids, sea creatures, art installations, vendors, CAMPING and more, creating an unforgettable 360-degree experience.”

  25) HARD Summer Music Festival

Credit: Doug Van Sant

When: August 2020

Where: The Speedway in Fontana, San Bernadino, California

Homepage

This annual two-day mega-festival has been a Southern California favorite for over a decade, and always manages to put together an unbelievably stacked line-up, incredible stage production, and overall stellar festival experience. 

The team over at HARD Events has been a key player in the growth of the EDM scene in the United States, and fun fact, my first massive rave in the USA was HARD Haunted Mansion back in 2009! From producing events like HARD Day of the Dead, Holy Ship, and HARD Red Rocks: attending one of their events will always impress!

26) Paradiso Festival

When: June 2020

Where: The Gorge Amphitheatre, Washington

https://ift.tt/1s0R77h

“Each year we come together on a pilgrimage to find a balance between a modern digital world and the natural environment surrounding us. Experience three stages with world-class visuals & audio production, thrilling rides & attractions, some of the biggest names in electronic dance music, a stunning natural backdrop you have to see to believe, and the best part of all, the Paradiso family.

In the distance, do you hear it? A warm whisper calling out to those spirits yearning for wanderlust that vows to lead those who follow to a paradise where nature and technology seamlessly coexist. This promise is for those who don’t seek to stand still, but instead jump headfirst into the motion in the hopes of discovering adventures hidden just over the horizon. Will you be one of those who answer the call?

27) ROLLING LOUD 

Rolling Loud LA 2019 Line-Up

When: December 14-15, 2019 September & October 2020

Where: Miami, Flordia | Oakland, California | Queens, NY

https://ift.tt/15wlY52

 “Rolling Loud Festival is a 3-day music event that started in Miami, FL and is now the largest Hip-Hop festival in the world. We now also hosts festivals in Northern California and Southern California, with plans to expand internationally to Japan, China and Europe in the near future. Some of the biggest names that have performed on the Rolling Loud stage includes the likes of Kendrick Lamar, J. Cole, Future, Lil Wayne, A$AP Rocky, Travis Scott, Young Thug, Post Malone, Migos, Kodak Black, Lil Uzi Vert, 21 Savage, Lil Yachty, Lil B, and many more.”

For the hip-hop festival fans out there, this should definitely be on your dream festivals! 

28) Pitchfork Music Festival

When: July 2020

Where: Union Park, Chicago

Genre: Alternative Rock / Indie / Electronic / Hip Hop

https://ift.tt/30Or7lc

“Celebrating its 14th year in 2019, the internationally recognized Pitchfork Music Festival presents 40+ acts over the course of three days each summer in Chicago’s Union Park. The festival highlights the best in new and emerging music. Since 2006, this independently run festival has consistently proven to be one of the most welcoming, comfortable, reasonably priced, and rewarding weekends of music around.

Hosting 60,000 attendees of all ages from 45 states and 26 countries, Pitchfork Music Festival offers a wide array of activities beyond the music. With 50 individual vendors, as well as specialty record and craft fairs, the festival works to support local businesses while promoting the Chicago arts and food communities as a whole. We maintain a commitment to keeping ticket prices low, providing new and useful amenities, and working with the city’s best local vendors each year. Stay tuned for more festival feature updates.”

29) New Orleans Jazz & Heritage Festival

When: April 23- May 3, 2020

Where: Union Park, Chicago

Genre: Jazz

https://ift.tt/s4YWq3

For all the jazz fans out there, if the New Orleans Jazz & Heritage Festival isn’t on your bucket list yet, then you’re not a true jazz fan! It’s one of the longest-running and largest jazz festivals in the USA, and is the perfect time to visit the great city of New Orleans!

“Started in 1970, “Jazz Fest” continues to showcase the most important names in music both locally and nationally. Celebrating 49 years of musical and cultural memories, Jazz Fest stands alone in presenting the highest caliber artists in such varied genres as gospel, blues, traditional and contemporary jazz, rock, R&B, Cajun, country, zydeco and much more.”

30) Louder Than Life Rock Festival

The Largest Rock Festival in America

When: September 2020

Where: Highland Festival Grounds, Louisville, Kentucky

Genre: Rock

https://ift.tt/1hjNDLo

Complete with dozens of the biggest names in rock & roll, massive stages, and unique bars – the annual Louder Than Life festival is an adventure every rocker needs to experience for themselves. The 2019 line-up included headling sets from Guns N Roses, Slipknot, Rob Zombie, Marlilyn Manson, and tons more! There aretons of delicious food & drink options spread around the epic festival grounds and lots of unique festival experiences for attendees to check out during these three-days of incredible rock music!

31) Friendship

When: January 6-10, 2020

Where:  Miami

https://ift.tt/2Mh4KiP

2018 was the inaugural sold-out cruise for the brand new festival cruise, “FRIENDSHIP”. With a star-studded line-up with names like Boys Noize, Dixon, and Rufus Du Sol – it looked like an epic time! I had some friends who went (who even got engaged during one of Destructo’s legendary sets), and they had nothing but great things to say about it.  It’s one of the new music festival cruises in the scene, but I’ve got a feeling the Friendship will be around for many years to come!

Friendship is returning for their 2nd voyage from January 6-10, departing from Miami and sailing to the iconic CocoCay island in the Bahamas! With a jam-packed line-up, awesome activities, and incredible vibes – it’s going to be a top-notch experience for all those who are lucky enough to book a room on board!

“Get ready to cruise out with some of the best international music acts aboard a glamorous ship to sea. It’s the perfect setting to make new friends and gather with old ones. States DESTRUCTO, “There is a place where my friends and I go and we do fun things—the kind of fun things that build everlasting memories that I could never put a price on and I absolutely never could because these times are priceless and irreplaceable. At the end when I look back and reminisce about these times I had and the experiences that molded me and watered me enough to grow, I’ll think about all the friends I’ve made along the way and how I am a part of their story and they are more than all my friends. They are all my family. That is FRIENDSHIP.”

32) iHeart Radio Music Festival

Photo via iHeartRadio Facebook

When: September 2020

Where: T-Mobile Arena, Las Vegas

https://ift.tt/2MuYDFE

“Since 2011, iHeartRadio Music Festival has taken place each year in Las Vegas, in September. It boasts a myriad of world-class musical acts, and has quickly become a fixture on the festival scene. For the first several years, the festival was held at the MGM Grand Garden Arena in Las Vegas. However, as of last year, the main festival stage was moved to the T-Mobile Arena. But that’s not the only place to see great music: the festival also features the iHeartRadio Daytime Village, a second venue that features additional up and coming acts.

As an attendee at this amazing festival, you are treated to performance after performance, both indoors and outdoors, all weekend long. Prepare for music overload, in the best way possible! This is truly the experience of a lifetime for music lovers of all ages. As you’ll see in a moment as we divulge this year’s lineup, it’s really no surprise that this festival has established itself as one of the most well-known and well-regarded music experiences in such a short time.”

33) Stagecoach Music Festival

When: April 26-28, 2019

Where: Indio, California

https://ift.tt/2oVuJV4

“The five-day transformation from the massive Coachella Valley Music and Arts Festival into Stagecoach: California’s Country Music Festival by the Los Angeles-based Goldenvoice company is always shocking to people who go to both events. 

Instead of surreal and sometimes psychedelic installation art of Coachella, there are giant cowboy boots and a bronze bucking horse. The attire morphs from flower crowns and H&M branded fashions to red, white and blue everything – including shirts, pants, bandannas and long flowing sashes bearing the U.S. flag. Held at Indio’s Empire Polo Club, this festival celebrates new and established country music artists.”

34) Camp Bisco

When: July 2020

Where: Montage Mountain, Scranton, Pennsylvania 

Genre: Electronic

http://campbisco.com

“Camp Bisco is an outdoor music festival held at the picturesque Montage Mountain, a world-class concert venue & waterpark located in Scranton, PA. Camp Bisco is a 3-day, rain-or-shine event with camping. Camp Bisco will feature 3 days and nights of music on 3 stages. Anyone who has been before can tell you, Camp Bisco is the best event of its kind and we’re so excited to see you all again! Join us at Montage Mountain for our 17th installment of this amazing weekend for the ultimate escape to your reality.”

35) Wanderlust Festival

Credit: Melissa Gayle Photography

When: July 2020 Dates TBA

Where: Various Locations

Website: https://ift.tt/23ZVpPh

Wanderlust is different than your standard music festival, as it’s more of a retreat/ getaway/ vacation with a big emphasis on music and community! The few friends I know who have attended told me it’s truly special, and they can’t wait to them for many years to come! 

They also host events ALL around the world, so definitely worth checking out their website and keeping up-to-date with their calendar if you’re into this type of transformational event!

“This Way to True North.

For 10 years, Wanderlust has gathered teachers, experts, musicians, and creators at stunning resorts for transformational experiences—each unique unto itself. Over the last decade, yogis have grown their practice, connected with community, and made life-altering discoveries. To celebrate our tenth year, we’re making our festivals accessible to all.

From mountain resorts to majestic city parks, 4-day retreats to 2-day urban escapes, the festival experience is now within your grasp. Step into what’s beyond: new ideas, new friends, new foods, new moves. And at the end of all this blissed-out exploring you’ll find you’ve come home—to yourself.

Music is the heartbeat of Wanderlust festivals. You’ll feel the pulse in the subtle spinning of a brilliant DJ, in the sweet rhythms of our acoustic meditations, and classes accompanied by perfectly paired beats will leave your body awash in energy. Whatever your taste, the musical discoveries that await at Wanderlust will leave you with new favorites for practice and party alike.”

36) Dirtybird Campout

Credit: Aaron Glassman

You’re never too old to go to summer camp! Dust off your camping gear and calibrate your compasses, Dirtybird Campout is coming…

When: October 2020

Where: Modesto Reservoir Campgrounds, California

Website: https://ift.tt/1LHQLwz

“What remains most special about Dirtybird Campout is its ability to craft an intimate space for guests to let their inner children out to play and create unforgettable memories, soundtracked by top selectors in house, techno, and bass. Campers are invited to immerse themselves in a wide variety of activities just steps away from camp and the stages—from tug-of-war to archery, to kickball—often alongside DIRTYBIRD ‘Camp Counselors’ themselves. It’s this open and fun atmosphere that keeps its ranks filled year after year. 

So I’ve been a HUGE fan of the Dirtybird Record label for a long time, and Dirtybird Campout is the annual event that’s an unforgettable adult summer camp/music festival experience. It started in 2015, and has grown bigger, better, and wilder every year! Definitely add this one to your list!

Read my Dirtybird Campout 2016 Festival Review to get a better understanding!

“Whether you went to summer camp back in the day, or found yourself at Campout over the last four years, those memories of sun-drenched hours full of outdoor activities, hazy summer afternoons, and sleepless nights under the stars, have fostered an unmatched sense of belonging and an unparalleled community for many. It is this family feel that has made Dirtybird Campout one of North America’s most celebrated and unique festival weekends.”

37) Decadence Arizona

Arizona’s Biggest New Year’s Eve Celebration Music Festival

Decadence 2018 | Photo by Jacob Tyler Dunn

When: December 30-31, 2019

Where: Chandler

https://ift.tt/2bDzR5G

“Decadence is a 2-day New Year’s Eve experience that features a diverse lineup of artists that is sure to please all… If you live on the West-coast, love music, and yearn for adventure… you will want to gather your friends and make the journey to DECADENCE where you can say your final goodbyes to 2019 and kick off 2020 with a BANG.”

  38) Lucidity Festival

When: April 10-12, 2020

Where: Live Oak Campground, Santa Barbara, California

Website:  https://ift.tt/2ImxHsH

Sound baths, acro yoga, dance workshops, fire breathers, circus performers, food vendors, fashion stalls, blacklight tea parties, cacao ceremonies, art galleries, epic DJ’s, live bands, crazy costumes, and an incredible amount of Oxytocin filled hugging. I had an unbelievably magical experience at Lucidity Festival, and think the world would be a better place if everyone attended it once in their life.

It’s truly one of the most unique, colorful, and intimate community-oriented camping festivals I’ve ever attended!  

Check out my review article about my experience here:  Ludicity Festival – Rising Dawn | Top 12 Festival Highlights!  I, unfortunately, I couldn’t make it back for the 2019 edition since I was traveling through Spain, but I’m really hoping to make a return for 2020!!

39) Voodoo Festival

Credit: Sydney Gawlik

When: October 25-27, 2019

Where: City Park, New Orleans, Lousisiana 

https://ift.tt/2nYtJgl

“Voodoo is a musical gumbo stirring together music, art, community, cuisine and all the mystery and adventure that Halloween weekend in New Orleans conjures up. With more than 65 bands over three days, Voodoo is more than just a Festival – it is an experience. There’s plenty to do in between sets. Across the Festival Grounds of City Park, Voodoo hosts interactive and immersive large-scale art installations, the Brew Dat Beer Hall and the House of Blues Voodoo, a handcrafted shopping experience at the Market Place, and more”

40) Okeechobee Music Festival

When: March 5-8, 2020

Where: Okeechobee

Homepage

“Okeechobee Music & Arts Festival is a 4-day surreal experience, filled with multi-genre music, immersive art and transformative events, deep in the heart of Florida’s wild wilderness. A gathering of all walks of life where the common ground is music, magic and mystery from dusk til dawn.”

“Okeechobee Music & Arts Festival burst onto the Florida scene in 2016 and immediately become a fan favorite. Taking place in early March, Okeechobee is now the first major music festival of the US festival season and provides a glimpse of touring summertime artists. The festival’s home at Sunshine Grove is a treat for campers with lush grassy fields, a sandy beach, and a majestic grove.”

  The Okeechobee Music + Arts Festival is back this year for a full weekend of music, camping, art, and unique transformational experiences! The festival will take place amongst 800 acres of lush grasslands, lakes, woods, and jungle in Sunshine Grove, Florida, with nature-filled and lakeside camping options.

In addition to OMF’s three main stages, dance music lovers will gravitate towards Jungle 51, a dusk till dawn dance party nestled in the heart of the jungle that has hosted some of the biggest names in house and techno in recent years. From dawn till dusk, OMF attendees will again be able to experience Aquachobee Beach, situated in the scenic background where Sunshine Grove’s jungle meets the white sand beach, that will give Okeechobeeings the chance to catch daytime live music sets while swimming and sunbathing.

Camp OMF 2020 will kick-off on Thursday, March 5 with a nighttime pre-party, and each day, Chobeewobee Village will feature an eclectic mix of immersive art, food & beverage offerings,  performances, yoga classes, life-enhancing workshops, speakers, as well as its signature artisan vendors in a bazaar-style experience. Also on site, a 24-hour general store, 24-hour food options, showers, free portalets, and local and craft food and beverage options complete the experience. Featuring an array of comfortable accommodations varying from tent camping to deluxe preset RV and glamping, all Okeechobee 2020 ticket and camping options can be explored.

41) Bumbershoot Festival

When: Labor Day Weekend, September 2020

Where: Seattle, Washington

https://ift.tt/2q2UxNX

“Now approaching half a century, Bumbershoot is one of Seattle’s largest cultural touchstones. Each year, thousands of people from across the country flock to Seattle Center to attend this acclaimed festival, which has become one of the biggest and most-loved contemporary festivals in North America, while having maintained its Northwest spirit and innovative roots.”

42) Arise Music Festival

Credit: Eric Allen Photography

When: August 2020

Where: Sunrise Ranch, Loveland

ARISE Music Festival | Aug 2-4, 2019

“The ARISE Music Festival is much more than a music festival…it’s a movement.  Held on an organic ranch in a picturesque Colorado Rocky Mountain valley oasis just 60 minutes north of Denver. 3 days and nights of camping, music, art, workshops, films, yoga and so much more!

At the core of the ARISE mission is a firm belief that creating a festival experience which inspires positivity, joy and active engagement in issues of social justice is a call to celebrate the beauty and wonder of this precious life.”

ARISE plants 1 tree for every ticket sold.

43) Afropunk Festival

When: August 2020

Where: Atlanta & Brooklyn

https://ift.tt/MSy7Tl

AFROPUNK is an influential community of young, gifted people of all backgrounds who speak through music, art, film, comedy, fashion and more. AFROPUNK is a voice for the unwritten, unwelcome and unheard.

Afro: as in, born of African spirit and heritage; see also black (not always), see also rhythm and color, see also other, see also underdog.

Punk: as in, rebel, opposing the simple route, imbued with a DIY ethic, looking forward with simplicity, rawness and open curiosity; see also other, see also underdog.

AFROPUNK is defining culture by the collective creative actions of the individual and the group. It is a safe place, a blank space to freak out in, to construct a new reality, to live your life as you see fit, while making sense of the world around you.

“The AFROPUNK festival is not only a diverse multicultural music fest that has an international influence and platform, but also a growing movement of non-conforming, forward-looking creatives and individuals who live fearlessly and authentically within their unique truth.” – VOX ATL

44) Watershed Festival

When: July 31- August 2nd, 2020

Where: The Gorge Amphitheater, Washington

Genre: Country

https://ift.tt/1fqwdtb

Watershed Country Music Festival will return to the Gorge for a wild weekend of twangin’ goodness. Put on your “Shedder gear” (trucker hats?) and get ready for three whole days of down-home studs.

Watershed Music Festival is the largest country music festival in the Pacific Northwest and is a must-attend for country fans all over the U.S (and the entire world). Located at the beautiful Gorge Amphitheater, you’ll enjoy sets by the biggest names in country music with an unbeatable backdrop! 

45) Elements Lakewood Music & Arts Music Festival

When: May 22-25, 2020

Where: Lakewood, Pennsylvania

Genre: Various

https://ift.tt/2olyFIF

“Anticipate hidden forests, beachfront parties, wellness workshops, outdoor activities, interactive performers, and captivating experiences of all kinds. This is Elements Lakewood. We can’t wait to be back in the woods dancing, laughing, and inhibiting our own world together. Your energy and smiling faces inspire us to outdo ourselves each year.

We’ve been dreaming all year of creating new forest escapes, treehouses, and nique experiences to surprise you with. 2019 brings more immersive spaces to become a part of, unique art cars to climb on, large sculptures to explore, secret paths to uncover, exhibits to question, and alternate realities to enter.”

46) Snowglobe Music Festival

California’s Ultimate New Year’s Eve Festival

When: December 29 – January 1, 2019

Where: South Lake Tahoe, California

Website: https://ift.tt/GLp9tl

“Literally And Figuratively The Chillest Festival Ever.”

This 3-Day EDM Festival is the New Years Eve event of your winter dreams!  Spend your days snowboarding in the beautiful Lake Tahoe mountains, and then party all night to some of the world’s biggest electronic DJ’s!

47) The Common Ground Music Festival

When: June 2020

Where: Lansing

https://ift.tt/2VhHW6C

“The Common Ground Music Festival is a multiple-day music festival entering its 19th year. The festival has highlighted more than 400 artists including 38 Grammy award winners and 22 Rock-and-Roll Hall of Fame inductees. Each July, more than 40,000 people come to Lansing, Michigan to enjoy the best in music, entertainment food, and beverage. This annual celebration features an outstanding lineup of musical acts, focusing on top-level, national and regional music performers of many genres including contemporary and classic rock, pop, alternative, country, hip hop, rhythm & blues, soul and more.”

48) Sonic Bloom Festival

Credit: Juliana Moskow

When:  June 18-21, 2020

Where: Spanish Peaks Country

https://ift.tt/1mSGFsP

“SONIC BLOOM is a 4-day camping festival that brings electronic music, dance, art and human performance together in an atmosphere that inspires open channels of co-creativity for everyone involved.”

Out of all the music festivals in Colorado, this is the one I’m DYING to go to.  It looks like such an amazing festival, and I know many friends who have gone and said how amazing it is.  The line-ups are always awesome, but the reason people go to is the VIBE.  If you’re looking for a good Colorado festival, then this should be your top priority (in my opinion).

49) Wet Electric Festival

Credit: Mix 247 EDM

When: April 2020

Where: Phoenix / Tempe   

Home

“Experience all the fun of a rowdy pool party with a banging electronic dance music festival at Wet Electric in Tempe, Arizona! The festival takes over an entire waterpark for two days filled with world-renowned DJs and electronic musicians, extravagant cabanas, wave pools, waterslides, several bars and more. Past performers include artists such as Paul Oakenfold, Lil Jon, The Crystal Method, Swanky Tunes, Robbie Rivera, Darude, Dash Berlin and many others.”

50) Boston Calling

When: May 2020

Where: Allston, Massachusetts 

https://ift.tt/2oXczCe

Genre: Various

“Across the street from Harvard Business School, a renowned music festival shakes up the scholarly vibes of nearby Cambridge, Massachusetts, once a year. While most music festivals tend to focus on a few genres, Boston Calling doesn’t discriminate between all the sounds you love; this is the kind of festival you attend when you’re a fan of music, through and through. If you’re the type of person who can go from dancing to lively electronic beats to headbanging to gnarly guitar riffs without delay, consider Boston Calling your music mecca.”

Best New Festival Coming to the US in 2020 

Primavera Sound Los Angeles

Earlier this year European festival juggernaut Primavera Sound announced they’d be premiering in the US in 2020 to celebrate its 20th anniversary! How exciting is that!? After living in Barcelona for two different summer, I know Primavera Sound means serious business, and I can’t wait to see what type of line-up they create in my home-state of California. 

When: September 19-20, 2020

Where: LA Historic State Park 

Bonus Special Event* Burning Man

When: August 30 – September 7, 2020

Where: Black Rock City, Nevada (Two Hours Away from Reno) 

https://burningman.org/

Last, I couldn’t complete this article discussing the best parties and events in the US without mentioning Burning Man. BUT – it’s NOT A MUSIC FESTIVAL, which is why I’ve added it as a bonus special event.

After attending Burning Man for the past two years though, I can say it’s one of the most magical and life-changing experiences! It’s a temporary city filled with countless themed camps, LED lights, dust storms, techno sunrise dances, amazing people, and unbeatable burner vibes. 

While it’s definitely the most challenging event on this list to prepare for, it’s by far the most rewarding and memorable. If you’re interested in attending Burning Man, feel free to reach out to me with any questions! I’m happy to discuss the 10 principles, best preparation methods, how to find a camp, and tips for getting tickets!

You can read through my articles on Burner Accessories & Burner Goggles though to help with the shopping list!

What USA Music Festivals do you think deserve a spot on this list…?

This list took me quite some time to put together, and I hope you’ve enjoyed reading it and finding some new events around the US! But I’d love to hear from you to see if I missed any specific event! There are thousands of festivals every year in the US (it’s a pretty massive country), so I couldn’t include all of them, but I do think I did a pretty great job at compiling the best US festivals in 2020!  

Looking for more music festivals in the USA?

My travel blog is filled with articles just like this that will help you find some of the most fun, magical, and awesome music festivals and parties around the United States. Check out a few of my favorite below, and feel free to reach out to me and let me know about any that I’m missing! 

Thanks for reading about the Best Music Festivals in the USA!

Share these 2020 US Festivals with your festival squad!

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9 Things No One Tells You About Running a Marathon Post-Baby

Photo: Pond5

This guest post comes from Daily Burn 365 trainer, running coach and three-time marathoner Cheri Paige Fogleman, NASM CPT (pre- and post-natal certified). The opinions expressed below are her own, and should not replace medical advice. After giving birth, it’s recommended to get medical clearance before beginning any exercise/training program.

In so many ways training for a marathon is like being pregnant. Your sleep suffers, and yet all you want is more time in bed. Your thirst is off the charts, despite drinking water non-stop. You try to eat more (because you need more calories), but your belly just can’t handle it. You’d really like a glass of wine, but you know you shouldn’t.

Your every movement is also an attempt to protect your body from injury. You prepare for months for something that scares the crap out of you, and while you just want it to be over with already, you are also still so terrified (so really, let’s not rush things). Your body is totally uncomfortable and achy and you hurt in weird places, but you know that it’ll all be worth it, and you’ll be filled with joy once the big day comes.

So, why once you’ve had a baby would you want to run a marathon?

Well, on Sunday, November 5, there I was — jammed into the corral at the start of the 2017 TCS New York City Marathon. Would my race be perfect? No. Would it hurt like heck at times? Probably. But, like most big and scary life events, I had a sneaking suspicion it would all be worth it in the end. And seeing my little girl at mile 25 reassured me of that.

Here are a few things I learned along my post-baby journey to 26.2, which might help other new moms, too.

RELATED: 17 Tips from Real Moms on Finding Time for Exercise

9 Things No One Tells You About Running a Marathon Post-Baby

Photo by Catherine Martin

1. Take advantage of your superhuman body.

The first thing my OB said to me at my first visit: keep running throughout your pregnancy. Postpartum, you’ll be able to get back to running quicker and you’ll still be able to take advantage of all the cardiovascular changes that happen to a pregnant body. These changes include increased cardiac output (up to 50 percent more than pre-pregnancy), increased blood volume (also as much as 50 percent more than pre-pregnancy), and an expanded ribcage (which offers more volume of air in one breath).

Basically, during pregnancy, oxygen circulates through the body more efficiently, and with increased efficiency, the body can perform better — and with greater ease. And, because a woman’s body doesn’t just snap back after delivery, it can take a year for the postpartum body to operate “normally” again (depending on breastfeeding). But that means we can take advantage of that so-called superhuman body for a while. My OB’s advice: Plan to qualify for Boston just shy of a year, postpartum. It’s nice when you can get a running coach and an OB all in one, yes?

RELATED: The 30 Best Marathons in the Entire World

2. Anticipate a drop in breast milk production.

Possibly because of dehydration, maybe because of physical stress, I found that my breast milk production tapered dramatically once my training picked up. If you are exclusively breast feeding and are less than six months postpartum, a few things can help. Oatmeal, for instance, is high in iron, which is believed to promote milk production. Some experts also suggest performing a series of power pumping sessions (as in milk pumping, not pumping iron). This method encourages over-production going into your training so you’ll have extra in the freezer in case you’re coming up short and the little one is hungry. For me, consuming more gels and drinking more electrolytes (e.g. Gatorade and coconut water) while training also helped keep my production from dwindling.

3. Give your feet special attention.

Because it can take about a year for hormone levels to return to normal after giving birth, be cautious of over-stretching and putting excess strain on your feet. The hormone relaxin is present in the body during pregnancy to allow tendons and ligaments to loosen and the skeleton to make space for the baby. If your feet grew during pregnancy, that same hormone can now cause your feet to shift even more. Avoid minimal shoes (unless you’ve been wearing them all along). And don’t skimp on calcium, which has been shown to help protect not just the bones in your feet, but your entire skeleton. Plus, it fuels your body’s energy production — so make sure you fill up on sources like milk, yogurt, spinach and kale. A postpartum body (and a breastfeeding body) is often calcium-deficient due to “mining” calcium from the mother’s bones to provide for the growing baby.

RELATED: 9 Things I Wish I Knew Before I Started Running

4. Heed the advice about changing up how you hold the little one.

I was told to switch up which hip I hold my daughter on by more than one person. And I’m a trainer, so I should know better, right? (I have even given that same advice to clients for years!) And yet, when life happens, I have been 100 percent guilty of slinging her on my left hip while scurrying around the kitchen slinging eggs and coffee and oatmeal.

It wasn’t until my 15-mile training run that my back started to feel a little twinge…and then my hip and then my hamstring and then my calf. A few weeks later, after an 18-mile long run, I couldn’t walk. A trip to my PT revealed that (due to holding my daughter only on my left hip) my right lower back and the muscles that run up the right side of my spine had all called it quits. That lead to a chain reaction of pain and suffering down my left hip and leg. Which brings me to…

5. Whatever amount of core training you’d normally do, multiply that by four.

During pregnancy, abs have a tendency to stretch or even separate (aka diastasis recti), and if you had a caesarian, the trauma can be worse. This has an effect on not just your ab strength, but also your back stability and the integrity of your entire kinetic chain. As a pre- and post-natal certified trainer, I recommend planks, side planks, bird-dogs, bridges and supermans. And if you can, make an appointment with an MAT (Muscle Activation Technique) therapist. A MAT therapist can determine where muscle weakness might be causing problems. Next, he or she will work to bring that strength back by palpating muscles, then prescribing specific isometric exercises to continue on your own. It’s been a game-changer for me.

RELATED: 6 Core Exercises for New Moms with Diastasis Recti

6. Make it worth it.

In my before-child days, I never realized I was taking for granted the freedom to run at any time and for any distance. But now I know. The acrobatics of juggling childcare for training has meant driving 45 minutes to my brother’s house to drop off my daughter, squeezing my long run into two hours, and then rushing back home for her nap time. It’s meant waking up in the pre-sunrise hours to run and get home before she wakes. I joined a gym specifically because it has childcare. And, I went out and bought a jogging stroller. While there is a certain amount of peace and quiet that I’ve thoroughly enjoyed while running, the extreme inconvenience of every single run is unavoidable. Whereas my biggest decisions were once which leggings to wear, or which route to take, now it’s: where my daughter will be, if she’ll need food or milk, and when she’ll take her next nap.

Because my better half, my brother and sister-in-law, my friends, my wallet and even my daughter have all made sacrifices for the sake of my training, my performance on November 5 was more important than ever. It took a village to get me to the starting line. For their sake, I could not let the village’s efforts be in vain.

RELATED: How to Run (And Watch!) the NYC Marathon Like a Pro

Photo by Janice Lancaster

7. You’re stronger as a mom.

There’s no way around it: Hitting the wall sucks. But the sudden fatigue caused by depletion of glycogen stores is something all endurance athletes have to learn to push through. As a running coach, one of the ways that I familiarize clients with that “wall” feeling is through repeat speedwork. (Think: repeat 400s, 800s and miles.) It’s brutal, and it perfectly recreates that hopelessness and defeat as your legs feel like they are going to fall off or melt and you crumble into a pathetic heap on the ground.

The “good” news? I now know that the first three months of my child’s life was just hitting the metaphorical and literal wall over and over and over again. I went weeks on mere hours of sleep and then managed to not wake her as I cradled her, stood up from seated on the floor, tripped over the cat (and a pacifier), and finally lowered her into the bassinet. That is pushing through the wall! I now know that motherhood makes you an expert on perseverance. All of my training on the road and the treadmill prepared me for the marathon, but it was my training as a mom that prepared me to win it.

8. Your little one will help you recover faster.

Don’t worry for a second about how you will run 26.2 miles and then be able to squat down to tie your baby’s shoes. You already do daily functional training in the form of squatting, bending, twisting and lifting with your little one. So, as you add on miles, you will naturally continue your feats of strength and acrobatics. In fact, in my before-child days — when I’d allow myself to lounge around after a long run with my feet up — recovery actually took a bit longer. But, because blood flow (from movement) encourages recovery, and a toddler doesn’t allow days off from chases through the apartment, my muscles were surprisingly chipper the day after long runs. They even felt pretty great the day after the marathon!

RELATED: 5 Scientifically Proven Ways to Reduce Muscle Soreness

9. It’s no longer about you.

One of the overwhelming takeaways of running the NYC Marathon is how spectacularly the spectators cheered. Their emotional shouts of encouragement contained something more than inspiration. I felt a very strong sense of appreciation that I was achieving this marathon goal for them — on their behalf. While that’s a humbling duty I’m honored to carry out, I’ve begun to think more about how my every action impacts my child. It’s cliché, but true: Having a daughter has made me want to be a better version of myself. And more than ever, I’m aware of how I can lead by example.

I want my little girl to see that setting your sights on a goal and working to achieve it are key to excelling in life. And, for me, running 26.2 miles through the five boroughs of New York City was achieving a goal on my daughter’s behalf. It was my way of showing her that she has the necessary stuff in her genes to power through the seemingly impossible. That she can achieve things beyond her wildest dreams.

Read More Why I Started Running — And Never Stopped How 10 Runners Beat Their Marathon Personal Best 5 Yin Yoga Poses Every Runner Should Do

http://www.successwize.com/9-things-no-one-tells-you-about-running-a-marathon-post-baby/