#i’m not tagging this. i don’t actually wanna be a dick in the main tag

[this-is-fox-speaking]

in the most loving way possible i’m gonna need y’all to stop drawing your human bugbo’s skinny okay? okay??

[adultswim2021]

Titan Maximum #2: "Busted" | October 4, 2009 - 11:30PM | S01E02

The second dang episode of Titan Maximum is basically a second pilot, taking us through how the newly formed team navigates the bureaucracy of the future government in order to get a replacement giant robot to pilot and have space adventures with. There’s also a little bit of advancement with the villain of the show, a former member of the team. I don’t think I touched on that aspect even a little bit last time. The important thing to know is, they get themselves reinstated with the military and the little brother nerd kid is their new engineer, producing a new mech that’s seemingly superior in every way, except the face is hastily drawn on. The episode ends with them about to do their first actual episodic adventure.

The main characters on the show are mostly dicks. We see them do stuff that dicks do to be dicks and for no other reason other than because they are dicks. That’s the comedy, dicks being dicks. Okay. That’s fine, I guess, if you're not me. In this one we have a flashback to them raping the “statue of unity”, because they were drunk and acting arrogantly for, again, no real reason. Then at one point they do a joke where a grunt foot soldier in another part of the story says an obvious sexual joke out loud and there’s pronounced awkward silence. It’s just like, man, what point are you even making here?

There wasn’t a single funny joke in this whole episode. I started getting actually pissed off. So much so that I failed to keep good notes for this episode; I literally wrote “JESUS FUCKING CHRIST THIS SUCKS” in a few different iterations without saying what I was reacting to. I should’ve been writing stuff like “the mean slut is showing her tits and being nasty.” Why, it’s like a season three episode of Sealab 2021, except for it probably took a year to animate instead of an afternoon.

I watched this on adultswim.com, and I’m probably going to get a DVD or download of this or something to watch instead. I was literally getting like, cartoonishly angry at this show, so much so that I started punching stuff. I am a lunatic, yes, but usually bad shows don’t upset me this much. Then, midway through the episode? I swear to fucking god, there was like 4 minutes of ads. They just jammed a commercial break in and it took for fucking ever. Every time a new ad started I actually started growling. Lotta ads for new shows coming soon to HBOMax. They all look like shit. Goddamn, I have never hated an app more than that app. I am thankful I don’t actually pay for it myself. 

To make it even worse: the one thing I stated as a positive about this show was the closing credits, which they interrupt for a lame callback joke. Then after the credits are over, they include a tag where a housekeeper explains an earlier joke where somebody pees in their space suit thinking it has a waste collection receptacle even though it doesn’t. Yeah, I saw that episode of Venture Bros. too.

MAIL BAG

got me katanas i want you to know, slicing up doors i want you to know, girl it's home movies i want you to know, don't know about you but i am wack...y coach mcguirk, wanna grow up to be, be a bob belcher

this was nice, pal, and I got a good laugh outta the deal. Well, see ya!

What can Delocated do in Season 2 to win you back? You seemed really down on it by the end. You didn't even like the part where he named all of Paul Rudd's lesser known movies.

You are full of shit! I literally named the final episode my favorite episode so far. I think all the feelings I had for the show roughly resembled the feelings I had for it back when it premiered. You're ignorant, pal.

He was in Anchorman, and The 40 Year Old Virgin, he was in The Shape of Things. He was in Clueless and Romeo + Juliet. He did a thing in Reno 911: Miami. The Cider House Rules. P.S. The Oh In Ohio. Knocked Up. He had a series of Broadway credits: The Last Night of Ballyhoo. Three Days of Rain with Julia Roberts. Twelfth Night at Lincoln Center. HE WAS IN HOUSE HUNTING!

"I like this" -me. See, now leave me alone.

Honestly I really like the *premise* of Titan Maximum. it's surprisingly earnest with it's deconstruction of Voltron, the character drama, the running story had a lot of potential, it looks great, Even the implied worldbuilding is fun. But like you said, the character writing is AWFUL. It's like a time capsule of the late 2000s "Workaholics" writers' board (twitter DOT com/podimportant/status/1369836756971835402). It sucks cause I like everything else about it but it really brings it down.

I probably should've noted this in the first episode, but I've never been a Voltron devotee. I don't remember ever watching it as a kid, and I've only seen a couple episodes as an Adult out of curiosity. So some of this show is probably lost on me. But the writing is so bad, I would highly doubt it would add anything for me.

[ashematashe]

Ten Random Lines

Rules: pick any ten of your fics, scroll to the midpoint, pick a line (or three) and share it. Then tag ten people. tagged by @thatvixenchick

So I only have 5 fics posted so I’m gonna do those and then 5 WIP/Notes!

Don't Just Hold Me in My Dreams  Rintarō can feel his heart rate picking up the pace again and hopes that Samu is too in his own head to notice how Rintarō’s reacting over a damn text message. He hadn’t expected Kiyoomi to actually take what he said last night to heart. He was too flustered earlier that morning when he first saw the message and couldn’t send a proper response, opting instead for emojis that made no damn sense.

Welcome to the Meat Locker  This is more than okay. Killua doesn’t think he’s ever been more okay with anything in his whole fucking life. He vigorously nods his head, fingers locking around fabric in a death grip.

Best Friends and Birthday Kisses  Killua can practically feel the sizzle and pop of his brain crashing like an old computer. He can only imagine the smoke coming out of his ears as he grabs Gon’s hand and yanks him out of the van, past the rest of the group, and into the main bedroom of the house.

Postcard From Wade  Hottest DILF in town: I’ve never been good at keeping my mouth shut You know that You know me I know you Two peas in peanut butter and jelly

I Wanna Be Your Vacuum Cleaner  Grimmjow watches Ichigo leave with a raised eyebrow. What the hell was all that about? He looks at Neliel and she only offers a soft smile and pats him on the shoulder. 

A Menace to Myself (a SakuSuna fake dating WIP this is notes) Suna: Hey we never figured out a plan for tonight. what we doing? Omi: 🍆👅💦 Suna calls up Omi like "Wtf does that mean?" Omi: Eggplant and cow tongue from that place off campus we ate at a couple weeks ago?? Suna: ....You're banned from using those emojis ever again Omi: Why, it was succinct and to the point

An unnamed SakuAtsu oneshot (WIP) However, the urge to reciprocate has begun to nestle deep into Kiyoomi’s heart. For every casual stroke of Atsumu’s fingers, he wishes he could return the touch tenfold. The damn asshole just makes it seem so easy, and yet Kiyoomi can’t make his hand move beyond a twitch of his fingers. 

An unnamed YakuLev oneshot (WIP) "Let's get home first and see how you feel then," Lev offers in an attempt to placate both his eager boyfriend and his own growing arousal. He has a plan, dammit, and he’s not going to let either of their dicks get in the way of that. 

Below Deck: Haikyuu AU (WIP-SakuAtsu, also notes) Atsu is the one Omi can rely on if anything needs getting done, and that grates because Atsu is also the first one to do whatever dumb shit comes out of Bokuto's mouth

Sexy Boy, Come and Lay With Me (WIP-Killugon) “What’s wrong, sunshine? Why are you crying?” The words were spoken so softly, with so much tenderness and love, that Gon couldn’t handle staying upright anymore.

As for tagging!! Umm.... @princelink @kittiemitties and yeah lol ❤️

[subbytransman]

Wasn’t actually expecting to get any interest in this blog so that’s a pleasant surprise 🥹

I’ve been using main for a long while to follow kink stuff but didn’t wanna share it over there — I did it literally ONCE and got an ask like “hey maybe tag your NSFW stuff” and like I get it but it wasn’t even that crazy of a post and I don’t like to feel policed on my own blog lmao — so this now exists for me to be as sexy and feral as I want without anyone giving me their unwanted opinions!

And just for context: I’m 30, a bisexual trans man, incredibly submissive, into CNC, somno, rough fucking, choking, slapping, poppers, being tied up, degradation, anal, pussy fucking, and general debauchery.

No misgendering, transphobia, racism, homophobia, biphobia, lesbophobia, sexism, ableism, etc. If you’re a dick, I don’t wanna know you.

[biosblades]

@ everyone in the notes saying “why is this m/m fans’ problem, if you want more f/f you write it”

I’m a fic writer that writes both, and I genuinely cannot even begin to express how ignored my f/f work is. Readers literally don’t even open a fic if there’s not a m/m ship in the tags. I actually personally prefer f/f but I don’t write it as much because literally nobody reads it if I do. It’s discouraging and feels like I’m doing it for no reason. I literally wrote an f/f fic from what I thought was a pretty popular pairing from a not unpopular show that literally had like 50 views, 0 kudos, 0 comments. I’m being so serious, why would I publish another work of that pairing when nobody’s reading or enjoying it?? If I’m the only one engaging I can just make scenarios in my head, no need to actually write them out

Now, let’s say there is another person who actually does like that pairing. If they were to search for works with it, they’d get like <10 results. If they took the L and decided to search for a m/m pairing in that same fandom, they’d get thousands of fics to choose from. By virtue of there being thousands, some of those are (statistically) probably a lot better than the three works that have to represent the f/f ship all on their own. So they pick the m/m ship, they find a community of a bunch of other people who are at least interested in their same fandom, they read some profound works that get them personally invested in that ship. Here’s this person who wanted to read f/f but due to the environment created on ao3 now reads mostly m/m

THAT’S what we’re upset about. Individual m/m readers make sense, that’s all there is to read on there. But we’re pointing out that it was misogyny combined with fetishization of gay men by straight women that CREATED that reality. Female characters are swept to the side, even in works where they could serve the same narrative purpose as their male counterparts because writers either personally think girls are boring or think their readers feel that way. And when huge fandoms obsess over male side characters instead of the female mains (even if those female mains are objectively the way more interesting character), it perpetuates that issue. People write what’s being well received (and that’s also all they get prompts/requests for)

This isn’t like a slight disparity either this is barely one million f/f works to over FIVE MILLION m/m (last I heard). F/f works are literally being drowned out by the mass numbers of m/m. Every writer helps, but who’s really gonna make a dent in an over four million (and the gap is only widening) fic difference?? All while your work is passed up in favor of yet another way more popular m/m pairing??

Y’all need to stfu about this not being a wider issue. This is a whole community issue. Genuinely, when reading fics centering men, think to yourself, could this same exact storyline have been just as good (if not better) with women?? Then think to yourself why the author chose a male character. Is it actually the best choice or even a choice they can somehow justify, or did they do it just because that’s what everyone else is doing? Are readers and authors even questioning their automatic lean toward male characters or is it so ingrained that it’s just the total default with absolutely no thought required??

And I don’t wanna hear “iTs CaUsE wE wAnT pEnIs PoRn” No, it’s not actually. Because y’all made up fantasy genre’s in which men can take the sexual role that women fill IN REAL LIFE. You literally created fantasy species so men could experience sexism and pregnancy for the plot rather than just putting women in your story. And be so for real, how many m/m fics are there where the genitals do not match anything seen in any human sex?? You could just as easily put either real, silicone, or fantasy-based dicks on your female characters if that’s really the issue. Your fantasy female characters could use fantasy science to impregnate other female characters if that’s what people really wanted. But it’s not, because there’s a hell of a lot of content on ao3 that isn’t sexual at all, and those works still lean m/m

It’s misogyny.

It’s fetishization.

It’s men being positioned as the default over women in every possible situation.

And we need to talk about it.

And honestly if you’re feeling personally attacked, it’s probably because you read m/m for the above reasons rather than for lack of other options. Because the people who just read m/m because it’s there can acknowledge and talk about the problem. They want to change the culture. It’s the misogynists and fetishizers who are all up in the notes defending their right to be misogynistic fetishizers 👀

Hey guys remind me how many properties there are on ao3 where m/m outnumbers f/f for no good reason

[ask-steve-cobs-ii]

　　　　　　　　　　『 𖦹ْꓸ🥖🌾🌻🍂✨.՞ 』

　　　　　　　Ask/Confess sumn Steve Cobs Blog!

　　　　　　　　★ Blog Theme - Default - Free 🍁

　　　　　　　🎧💤 Post Dividers by @/saradika

　　　　　　　💿🪽 Apps used to draw - freeform

　　　　　　🤍🕯️ Apps used to edit: Canva + Picsart

　☆☆ Fyi, This Blog and Drawing is my pride and joy, but I might not be as active here too often!! 🌽🐾 But drawing can sometimes be exhausting 4 me! Hope u guys understand <33 !!!

🍼💤 Please read our intro,,, omg… like actually..

🍁🌙 You can confess something to corn man!! Steve!! Whether its filthy or not. we won’t bite. (Unless you say it to the mods of this blog ermm) ( btw READ CONFESSION GUIDELINES 1ST!!! THANKS!)) +when confessing we prefer you mark it as a confession!! Optional btw but still!

🍥🎀🦴 DON’T COMPARE OUR ARTSTYLES TO SOMEBODY ELSE’SS!!! “Oh er it looks similar u copied!,) DNIII!!

🍓🍰💋 DNI: basic dni criteria // ppl who compare artstyles in a negative way // “ur object artstyle is too furry” ppl // ppl who don’t handle nsfw/13+ content too well (i dont think ur gonna like this blog if u r triggered by that fyi)

SAFE SPACE! ‼️🗣️

➵ Blog Intro ,, | @ask-steve-cobs-ii 🌽

ᨳ Hello there :D This is a Steve Cobs,, Inanimate Insanity ask account! Ask the great CEO of Meeple!! Who made phones and shit :3

◟ran by◞ @cakiette || caki/elle/admin cake — she/her ✧ artist + main poster + acc creator! 🍰💤⭐️ represented by: 🍰

♡ @milkiette || milki/yuna/ryo/admin milk — any prns — luvly sis who does some of the dialogue :3 🎀🦴 represented by: 🍼

🐾💤 @starigen || lavera/starlah/admin star — she/her — bio designer + banner designer + admin — mainly person who comes up w/ headcannons, designs (like accessories and shi), and the blog intro!! Ily pookie 🐾🐾 represented by: ⭐️

— Posts made by any of them will be tagged w/ admin milk/star/cake!

◟blog banner by: ◞ @starigen

◟blog pfp by: ◞ Inanimate Insanity on youtube! o(｀ω´ )o

🌙 not canon to the real series!! I am not in any way associated w/ ii, or working 4 them (i wish tho /silly)

☆☆ I do have social anxiety,, so sorry if i take a while to answer your ask,, this is my 1st time running an ask blogg!! I’m not used to answering sm asks, but also bc im BUSYYY!!

🎧⭐️ i, mod milki also MIGHT suck at cosplaying steve cobs so sorry if i ever disappoint ( ´_ゝ`) ,, again yall i have no experience w/ ask blogs and cosplaying

#ooc tag - out of character ☆☆ not an ask!

#off topic - unrelated to blog

#mod talks - mod (blog runners) rambling lawl

btw send as many asks as ya want,, i like receiving em but gimme time to answer plz

᎒ ꒰ 01 ˙ #posting? ៸៸ 🍂

・I will post Steve Cobs content obviously -w- but YOU guys will run our posts!! Not literally but err its based off of your asks :v soo yeah you can ask him thingies!!

・other ooc stuff

・Reblogs… to catch yall off guard bc I procrastinate on this blog sm

・confessions,, abt the corn man,, or to the corn man, he will answer em.

((i might delete some reblogs or shitposts,,, or smth unrelated to this blog so yeah,, i just wanna keep this blog,, an ask blog)

᎒ ꒰ 02 ˙ #rules while asking? ៸៸ 🌽

・Yeah ig you can do nsfw asks for funsies

・joke asks are always allowed bro 🕶️

・you can magic anon him things

・yeah angst is allowed but we like a silly blog dont we

・hate on him all ya want (dont hate on ME tho the blog creator shhsjshjsj)

・yes, you can turn him into popcorn (or atleast attempt to??) if you do,,, it won’t be permanent XD

・i dont mind if your here to step on some corn dick /silly

・inanimate insanity stuff related only please!!!

・Meeple + Inanimate insanity show, contestants, hosts related askz r cool too

・u may include ur oc in the ask!! No back and forth convos thoo!! (If u want ur oc to respond rb my post)

・confessions allowed too LOLZZ!! Filthy or not, we allow it. As long as you don’t intend it for the mods of the blog, ur good. Yeah, that means you can confess stuff to corn man. Make him get a therapist maybe.?

i won't judge you here...unless ya send me something immoral or downright horrible. or maybe if you send me foot fetish confessions /hj

᎒ ꒰ 03 ˙ #confession guidelines ៸៸ 🍄 yeah!! Confess to the corn man stuff,, maybe accidentally get him a therapist!!. BUT!! Confessions ran by our our mod that has been thru it all /lh,, @starigen, . so don't fear anything being TOO horny,, whatever you're about to send, shes probably thought sumn similar... shes seen too much of it /lh /j

or DONE sumn similar? lmao jk

no immoral shit. no pedo shit, no proships, no abuse, no incest, no grooming, nothing rancid like that please!!!! ty :33 we wanna keep this blog w/ no drama llama 🦙!!

no confessions relating to anything problematic, please we beg of you. just a personal discomfort thing, for all us mods. please do not bring up grooming or anything related to it please <33

ALSO, NOBODY FUCKIN SEND HORNY ASKS ABOUT HERRR!!!!! just cause she can handle nsfw well doesn’t mean she doesn’t have boundaries.

ok happy confessing freaks /silly /j :3

📝 note for starigen: yeah keep in mind you are confessing to Steve Cobs,, so don’t be surprised if he ends up being rude lol,, there will be a ooc response from ME!! So…!! Yeah.

᎒ ꒰ 03 ˙ #blog rules in general ៸៸ 🍃

・no advertisements lolz

・you may submit fanart thru asking

・no being rude to others :’D

・PLEASE DONT MAKE FUN OF MY OBJECT ARTSTYLEEE :’)

★ — Thats him!! ask him anything (ANYTHING)!!! The corn man!! 🌽🌽🕶️

⚠️⚠️ (by the way!! I didnt make him a furry!! I just gave him paws! Don’t call him one just bc he has paws! Its basically calling a dog a furry!!! BUT PLEASE DIFFERENTIATE!) ☆☆

(some parts of him might change by accident while i, mod cake draw him btw)

written by mod cake 🍰

★ — Taggies (ignore) 🏷️🪽

[strunmah-mah]

I posted 899 times in 2022

That's 675 more posts than 2021!

131 posts created (15%)

768 posts reblogged (85%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@oifaaa

@birdsbats-maddness

@theforceisstronginthegirl

@aalghul

@hadariwizard

I tagged 897 of my posts in 2022

#dc - 516 posts

#jason todd - 249 posts

#damian wayne - 130 posts

#bruce wayne - 99 posts

#dick grayson - 75 posts

#tmnt - 65 posts

#dc comics - 58 posts

#batman fandom - 57 posts

#tim drake - 53 posts

#artemis grace - 43 posts

Longest Tag: 140 characters

#like i tottally thoughoh yeah everyone makes that joke because his main enenmies are the yellow lanterns and he's actually just weak to fear

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Hey, all the big networks and stuff are looking to make “the new Game of Thrones”, somebody should make an original tv series centered on the al Ghul family.

The League of Assassins has so many internal factions and conflicts you could probably make an entire season fro just that, two if you were clever about it.

The comics tend to focus on Talia, the Arrowverse preferred Nyssa, and I don’t a thing about Dusan. In this we could get all three, as a treat.

Exploring the childhood dynamic of Damian and Mara. I imagine it’s very similar to Gamora and Nebula, kids who kinda wanna be friends but can’t because of the way they are constantly pitted against each other. But maybe they aren’t, this way we could find out for certain.

Athanasia would not have to be in this, but if she was I wouldn’t complain.

Slade Wilson as a recurring antagonist. Maybe he has his own faction of the League, maybe Respawn exists in this universe and he’s mad about that. Both could be good.

This could be a chance to make Cassandra Cain a more mainstream name. I don’t like her but I’m sure someone would enjoy her inclusion.

Characters I do enjoy though are Thea Queen and Sara Lance. I’m pretty sure they’re both arrowverse originals. Don’t make this part of the arrowverse, but I want to see more of them.

I would love to see an adaptation of Catwoman: Soulstealer in this. Selina Kyle stealing the secrets of how to make an artificial Lazarus pit seems fun.

Because I’m a Jason fangirl I have to include this: Do a variation of Red Hood: Lost Days. Except Talia and Jason stay strictly mother-son and don’t sleep together. And after  his confrontation with Batman and the Joker goes bad, Jason returns as a permanent addition to the cast and takes his role as Damian’s big brother.

Speaking of Red Hood if the theoretical writer of this show would like to take on the ambitious task of having the All-Caste and The Untitled actually make sense I would be very interested. Maybe they also tie into the League of Lazarus somehow seems like The Well of Sin is supposed to the original source of that right?

Those are my ideas, somebody who knows comics better than me should add more.

88 notes - Posted April 5, 2022

#4

Okay, so I’m sure we’ll find out who this girl is in White Knight Presents: Red Hood, But I don’t want to wait that long. So, let’s play a game called, “Who was Jason’s Robin in the White Knight universe?”

Mia Dearden

The hair color is wrong but I just read the Green Arrow story where Jason kidnaps her and I think it would be very funny if she was his Robin in another universe

Artemis Crock

Again wrong hair color, but I really think Jason would get along with a version of her similar to her Young Justice self

Sasha aka Scarlet

Not an archer, but it would be interesting if Jason’s original sidekick was brought back like this.

Helena Bertinelli

Normally older than Jason and wielding a crossbow instead of recurve bow,  but de-aging her so she could be a murder Robin (it’s Jason, his Robin has probably killed people) would hardly be the weirdest thing to happen in comics.

Athanasia al Ghul

The al Ghul’s haven’t been brought up yet in this universe, but considering Jason’s main continuity background, the idea the al Ghul’s trained him and in return he trained one of their’s isn’t outlandish. Plus there’s the irony of Jason training Bruce’s daughter.

Mara al Ghul

Same reasoning as Athanasia minus the bits about her being Bruce’s kid and add in the fact that I think Mara actually does use a bow. I’m not sure Athansia does.

Lian Harper

Most of these suggestions have just been for funsies, this one actually seems likely. The girl has a habit of turning up in weird locations (she’s Catwoman’s sidekick in main canon?) But given the friendship between Roy and Jason, her turning up here would have some logic to it.

109 notes - Posted April 7, 2022

#3

[image description: It’s the inside of a monastery. There’s two lanterns lighting everything. Jason Todd, Cheshire, Onyx, and Sensei all sit in a circle meditating. In the background Talia al Ghul watches them while holding her baby, Damian /end descrition]

[image description: It is an indoor facility on Apokolips. From left to right stand Granny Goodness, Mary Marvel, Kara Zor-El and Big Barda /end descrition]

Next season are we getting both of these squads? ‘Cause if we are, that’s gonna be redemption arcs galore.

129 notes - Posted June 9, 2022

#2

Hey Can some one tell e what Roy Harper’s personality is actually supposed to be like? ‘Cause the three versions I’m familiar with are Arrow (tv series), Young Justice (cartoon), and RHATO (new 52). And those are just wildly different character. I don’t know what to do with this guy.

181 notes - Posted March 4, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

[Video transcript

Text box: Make Condiment King Scary; There’s your challenge.

Red Text: TW: Discussion of Murder

The Panda Redd: OK

The screen flashes and Panda is now dressed as Condiment king

Condiment King: You know, I always hated that name. The one that the press gave me. Condiment King. So patronizing. Like I’m trying to make some grand standing of what I do, I’m not. I’m not. Wanna know how I got that name? It’s a funny story actually. See a life time ago I was just another, another goon, another grunt on the street working for Falcone. And, uh, One day I found myself at this restaurant, some, some racket Falcone’s been running and the uh, the owner decided not to pay. So I was sent to, uh, relieve him of his station. Guy finishes up his meal, I follow him into the back, stick a gun in his face. “Hands up Fucker, Flacone sends his regards.” The bastard kicks it out of my fucking hand. So the part that nobody decided to fucking mention to me was the guy was a goddamn black belt in karate. who starts throwing me around. He slams me into the fucking walls. I’m getting stains from all the shit falling off of him all over by brand new sky blue suit that I’m wearing for this fucking occasion. That is, until I see the stove. I see they’re cooking up a special brew of uh, extra hot sauce on there. You know, that it only takes three pounds of ground up chilies, consumed in one sitting to kill a man, purely from the capsaicin. Well I’ll tell you what. He figured out what it’s like to inhale that shit. I grabbed his head and I just, I just fucking held it under, I held him there, until the fucking bubbles stopped coming up. And that was it, I thought. But you see a man kills a someone with a bowl of hot sauce, in a suit soaked in condiments, and well. Everyone in Gotham’s got a gimmick. See my problem isn’t with the name it’s self. It’s with the insult that is implied. People think that what I do is silly. But I’m going to ask you something. If the ketchup on your burger was too tangy would you stop eating it? Or, or if your hot sauce wings tingled your throat in a way you didn’t expect, would you all of a sudden stop? The thing is, apart from taking a shit, eating is when people are their most vulnerable. I ask you, do you know what poison tastes like? Are you sure?

Condiment King laughs and the video ends.]

Imma bee real honest here. My ideal sequel to The Batman would be Battinson vs. this very specific version of Condiment King. If The Panda Redd didn’t play him I wouldn’t watch it.

262 notes - Posted July 3, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[ice-fire-or-clear]

Further on the Edge, II.

Tom “Iceman” Kazansky x f!Reader (callsign Siren)

part 1 | masterlist | part 3

Word count: 3.1k

A/N: Here’s part two!! I hope it was worth the wait! It’s quite a bit longer this time and has way more action, so I hope that’s fun and exciting. I’m definitely not great at scripting plane stuff so that stuff might make sense but probably not. Also, thank you for every single like, reblog, tag, and comment on the first part!! I don’t wanna reply with my main just yet but thank you so so so much! Enjoy :)

CW: Slight sexism, fighting (planes and otherwise), Slider being relegated to background character :(, Ice Being A Dick But Unfortunately He's Usually Right, language, lots of language

In. Hold. Out.

Repeat.

Closing your eyes, you walked yourself through your usual preflight mantra, focusing all of the energy in your body to settle in the pit of your stomach. Ironically, you always took the time to ground yourself before a flight, aiming to leave any distractions or annoyances on the tarmac below.

Unfortunately, your biggest annoyance was climbing into the plane opposite you.

Today had already been off to a rough start. You had fumbled your answer to one of Viper’s rapid-fire questions during the lecture earlier, and things went from bad to worse when they split the class off into pairs for dogfighting after the break. You had been named the team leader of your pair, with Ice assigned as your wingman. You had to suppress to a groan when you read the lineup. The other pilots could be annoying, certainly, but they were nothing compared to flying with someone who was so certain that they were right about every move, no matter what anyone else said. Though, you had to admit, he usually was…

Settling down into your seat, you couldn’t help but be stricken with a weird sense of deja vu as you recalled the first time you and Iceman actually flew together. Weeks later, you could almost huff out a laugh at the memory.

—

After the disaster at The O, you woke up for the first day of the program with a mix of apprehension and doubt. After a cold shower to wash away any remnants of the last night’s beers, you slowly and methodically dressed in your service khakis, careful to fix the bun at the nape of your neck perfectly in place. Satisfied your uniform was perfect, and therefore able to escape detection and an embarrassing callout, you made your way to the building where the classroom sessions would be held.

By some random stroke of luck, you had managed to avoid an awkward confrontation with Iceman for the duration of the lecture. By sitting close to the front and arriving early enough to avoid walking into a room full of your fellow pilots, you avoided any actual conversation efforts. Instead, you let them aim their questioning and skeptical stares at the back of your head, unbothered and accustomed to their curiosity. However, as the seconds on the clock ticked by, you began tapping your fingers on your thigh. You had heard his deep voice all the way from the back throughout the lesson and knew it was only a matter of time until something happened. Ice would eventually realize that the “enamored” (gag) girl from the night before was the same studious, determined woman in the second row.

And unfortunately, when it came time for your first set of afternoon fieldwork, your number was up.

“…and finally, Iceman and Slider with Siren and Hipcheck.” Jester finished.

You stood stock still in the hangar, pressing your lips together to hold back a curse. Fuck.

Just ahead of you, you watched Ice’s head turn, gaze landing first on your RIO, standing sturdy next to you, and then shifting down to you. Refusing to back down, you frowned at him when he caught your eye. Something unfamiliar flickered across his face; surprise, certainly, but something else as well. Regret, maybe?

Whatever. You crossed your arms over your chest, tuning back in for the drill parameters. The exercise, and the pilots, were nothing you hadn’t dealt with before.

Up in the air, Ice took the lead while you trailed behind him at a healthy distance. You and Hipcheck followed his directions with little comment, doing your best to both keep Jester at bay and make an opening for a clean shot. Your commanding officer was a far more than worthy opponent, more than you anticipated.

You found yourself banking left, on path to intercept Jester as he zipped across the sky roughly perpendicular to your jet. Ice wasn’t far behind, but couldn’t keep Jester in his sights. The older pilot kept diving and weaving just out of reach.

“Iceman, I’m on his three o’clock, on target to intercept. If I get tone, I’m taking it,” you warned.

“Negative, Siren. He’s counting on it. Change path to intercept from 5 o’clock, and cover me while I bring him around.”

“What? No. You’re not chasing him, he’s baiting you! I’ll have him in a few seconds.”

“Negative, Siren! Fall back and cover me! You’re the one who’s bait here.”

You scowled at Iceman and his stubbornness, focusing on Jester, now practically at twelve o’clock. “How are things looking back there, Hipcheck?”

“Almost got him, Si! Oh shit, there we are! I’ve got missile lock on him, whenever you’re ready.”

You couldn’t help a small smirk as you readied your finger on the button. Iceman wasn’t the only one who knew how to win a dogfight. You honed your eyes on Jester, anticipating every movement almost before it happened. Just as you were about to call the shot, you heard Slider yell, “Oh, shit! He’s coming around!”

With horror, you watched as Jester rolled hard right, now coming at you head on. You gripped the joystick with both hands as you swerved to your right, trying to shake him. Before you could even check your sights, it was over. That sickening, high-pitched drone filled the cockpit as you dropped your head for just a second, swearing in defeat.

“Goddammit!” Ice’s voice crackled over the comms. Anger at your insubordination shattered his cool, collected demeanor, a rare sight. You weren’t exactly looking forward to your reunion on the tarmac.

—

“Si? They’re waiting for our signal.” Hipcheck’s voice snapped you out of your flashback. You had been flying with him in the backseat for several months now, ever since you had been transferred into your new permanent squadron in the Pacific fleet. Hipcheck, callsign earned from his hockey-esque stature, was several years older than you and had dozens more missions logged. He was one of the few bearable Naval aviators you had had the pleasure of flying with, quickly taking you under his wing (haha) and helping you find your bearings in an intimidating environment. You considered him a friend at this point, even getting to meet his wife and their two children a couple times on shore leave. He was friendly and well-liked by most of the other pilots, making it a little easier for you gain acceptance into the group.

Clearing your throat as you acknowledged his warning, you honed your focus on the drill as you taxied toward the runway. You were slightly embarrassed that you had let your musings on Ice cause you to zone out during all the pre-flight checks. Better not let that happen again, you thought, involuntarily glancing behind you to see him following you over the airstrip.

Up in the air, you hovered almost parallel to each other while you scanned the horizon for any sight of Jester.

“We really need to fly in unison this time,” you frowned at Ice through the canopy.

You could hear his eyes roll over the comms.

“Once you learn how to follow the lead, that won’t be an issue.”

“Follow whose lead?” You were grateful your mask hid your smirk. You knew it had to be killing Iceman, you being named leader.

“Whatever.” A pause. “What’s the picture looking like, Slider?”

“All clean up ahead.”

“Same here.” Hipcheck.

Things had been still for way too long, you thought. You twisted in your seat, craning your neck in both directions to see behind you.

“What the hell… where is he?” you murmured.

Not even three seconds later, Iceman’s voice burst through the commons. “Tally two, 11 o’clock! Over the mountains!”

Tally two?! Who the hell else was up here?

“Viper,” Hipcheck spat, making the word sound like a curse.

“Okay, fuck.” You clenched your jaw, trying to think. “Okay, Ice, we need to split them. I’m gonna come around from the left, and you cover me at 7 o’clock low.”

“Copy.” If he had any objections, he kept quiet.

Less than a minute away from intercept now. “I’ve got Viper!” You yelled. “Roll left and pull up when I say!”

You didn’t take your eyes off of the leading plane, waiting until you were nearly below it.

“Now!”

Like two halves of the same shell, you and Iceman split off away from each other, twisting up as you went. From the ground, your planes would have looked like exact mirror images of each other, each move neatly reciprocated by the other.

Ice shot up right on Jester’s nose, causing the instructor to roll hard to his own left to narrowly avoid a collision. You came up just off Viper’s right wing, startling him. He shot ahead, banking right and hoping to shake you.

Somewhere in the back of your head, there was a sense of pride for being able to unsettle the two more experienced targets.

“Hipcheck, what’s going on back there?” You asked, unwilling to take your eyes off Viper.

“Ice and Slider have him heading clear away from us, about 8 o’clock. Looks like Viper’s trying to bring us back around so he can cover Jester, though.”

You swore, twisting around to see that Viper’s constant turn was indeed clearly on path to intercept Iceman.

“Okay, okay. Ice, we’re coming back around to cover you.”

Dimly, you were aware of your stomach rolling as you pulled the jet into a harsh 270 degree turn. Nothing you hadn’t gotten used to over the years, though. Neither was the zig-zagging, tumultuous path you took to prevent Viper from getting missile lock as you raced to defend Iceman.

“I’m right on him, but I can’t get clean shot against the terrain,” Ice said, sounding slightly frustrated over the comms.

“Siren, looks like Viper’s breaking off to your nine o’clock,” Slider called, crackling to life in your ear.

“Copy. Moving to defend from 6 o’clock. I got eyes on him now.”

“There’s a break in the canyon up ahead, Iceman. If you can push him through there, it looks like a clean shot.”

“Copy, Hipcheck. Increasing speed.”

Seconds later, Jester shot through the opening of the canyon, Iceman right on his tail. Jester kept close to the ground, probably banking on the fact that the terrain would still prevent Slider from getting a lock. Meanwhile, Ice soared straight up, pulling back just slightly to keep Jester in his sights. Meanwhile, you maintained altitude, hovering above Ice on his 6 andkeeping an eye on Viper. The older pilot was maintaining his position, just off your 10 o’clock at a healthy distance. Why wasn’t he moving in to defend his wingman?

“I’ve got tone!” Slider yelled.

“Firing!” came Ice’s reply.

“Yes! That’s a kill!”

“Hell yeah!” Hipcheck cheered from behind you.

“Good work, Ice.” You couldn’t help but smile. “Now let’s finish Viper.”

You changed your course to put him dead in your sights, picking up speed. Iceman increased his altitude as well, hovering above at 5 o’clock.

It wasn’t long before Hipcheck was telling you that you were almost lined up from a clear shot. Perfect.

“Iceman, Hipcheck says we’ve almost got lock. I’m gonna drop down and increase speed.”

“That’s not a good idea, Siren. He’s not an idiot; he’s knows that you’ve almost got the shot. We should pull back and maintain position, wait and see what he’s gonna do.”

Irritation flared up in you. Typical Ice, content to wait for the perfect opening, never willing to pull something off the cuff. (You ignored the little voice in your head reasoning that maybe that kind of behavior was why he and Slider were currently sitting at the top of the rankings.)

“Negative, Iceman. He’s right there! I’m dropping down and taking it!”

“That is exactly what he wants you to do, Siren! Hold your position!”

Fuck him, thinking he’s the only one who knows how to fight, you thought, tightening your jaw.

“That’s not your call, Ice. You’re not the one in charge here,” you growled, pushing the plane into a steep dive. Right on Viper’s tail, just like you planned.

In the split second you dreamt about how nice it would be to finally say “I told you so” to Kazansky’s dumbass, smug face, the world flipped over around you.

Or, that’s what it felt like as Viper pulled a page out of Maverick and Goose’s book and hit the brakes, pulling his plane to a near stop in midair.

You futilely tried to copy the same maneuver, jerking around in your seat to see where the fuck he had gone.

“Siren, he’s right on our six! We need to get out of here and do something!” Hipcheck yelled from behind you.

“Shit!” you swore, pulling up in a desperate attempt to get out of range of Viper’s missiles. “Ice, can you cover me?!”

“Not anymore!” he snapped. “He’s at our 9 o’clock, we can’t get around him now.”

“Looks like he’s got you guys, Siren,” Slider said, sounding less annoyed and more sympathetic.

“Fuck,” you couldn’t help but mutter, defeated as the missile tone filled the canopy.

Another crackle from the comms. “Hell yeah! Splash two!”

Of course Viper’s move to take you out would leave Iceman lined up perfectly for the kill.

“Don’t worry about them, Si,” Hipcheck said, not unkindly. “We put up a good fight.”

“Yeah, and now Ice is gonna get points for both Jester and Viper,” you frowned, trying not to sound as childish as you felt. You changed course back to base with a little more force than necessary, blocking out Iceman and Slider’s gleeful chatter over the comms.

-

In. Hold. Out.

Repeat.

During the flight home, you had almost worked yourself out of your rage. Of course, all that shit went out the window, as tends to happen whenever Iceman is involved.

You lasted all of maybe ten seconds on the airstrip until you saw his smug face climbing out of the jet in front of you. You were stomping across the tarmac before you could even think straight.

“Si, why don’t we take a second and think about this,” Hipcheck said, not unkindly, trying to subtly hold you back. You ignored him, shook him off, and kept moving.

“What the fuck, Kazansky?!”

Iceman, helmet in his hands, spun around at the sound of your voice. There was no mistaking the surprise on his face, whether at the volume of your tone or the use of his last name. Nonetheless, he recovered quickly, setting his features into that trademark smirk. “Yes, Lieutenant?”

You took the last few steps forward, shoving at his chest with both hands. He barely tilted back, the fucker.

“What the hell is wrong with you?! I had Viper! Had him! Until you slowed me down and tried to get in my head!” You paused for a second, a bit out of breath. “Was Jester not enough for you? You had to steal my shot too? Are you that narcissistic that all you can think about is your name on that plaque?”

The blond man glared down at you, setting his jaw. “I don’t need to ‘get in your head’ to outfly you, Siren. You do that all on your own. You show up to every exercise, every lecture, every goddamn gym session like you have something to prove! That’s why you lost the kill. Not because I stole it, but because you’re too proud to defer to anyone else, even when they’re trying to help you!”

“Help me? Fucking help me?! This all goes back to you and your ego, and your obsessive need to be in control of everything! You’re flying with the best of the best, and you think you’re the only one has any fucking clue of what’s going on!”

“You know what, I might have an ego, but I’ve earned it! You act like you’re too good to talk to any of the rest of us, like all that matters is knowing every goddamn maneuver and instrument down to the last detail. Well, like you just learned, none of that shit is gonna save your ass in a dogfight! If you don’t trust your team enough up there to listen to your wingman, you’re dead! You’re fucking dead! You need to stop carrying such a chip on your shoulder about being a woman and accept that you can’t win by shutting everyone else out!” Ice had leaned into your face by the end of his rant, his voice still ringing in your ears. Slider wrapped his hand around Iceman’s upper bicep, pulling him back slightly.

You were ashamed of the heat rushing to your cheeks and spooling painfully in your throat. “That’s not what this is about! And so what if it was?! I have to work twice as hard to get half as far as you, and fuck you if you can’t see that!”

“Lieutenants!” Viper’s voice, though not loud, sliced through the tension like a knife. “That will be enough of that.”

You looked away from Ice, painfully embarrassed to have lost your cool in front of your commanding officer.

“You’re both done flying for the day. Now go ahead and do push-ups until Jester gets tired.”

—

Somewhere between two and three hundred, you lost count of how many push-ups you had done, the fatigue in your arms quickly fading into numbness. You dutifully kept your eyes on the ground for each one, ignoring Ice’s strained breaths next to you.

You couldn’t help but feel like you had lost a much larger battle today than the one with Viper. It bothered you how easily Iceman saw through your unaffected persona, poking at the anger underneath and drawing it out for everyone to see. You felt as if he had sent you tumbling backwards, slicing through all the work you had to cover up your flaws and exposing the root of your real problem. Somehow, he seemed to understand you better than anyone else, but all that did was drive you further apart.

Fuck him, you thought. Let him think whatever he wants, see whatever he wants to see. He would not stop you from reading your name on that plaque. And after graduation, you were gonna make sure that he would never stop hearing your name in conjunction with phrases such as “best of the best of the best” and “top Naval aviators” and maybe one day, “Admiral.”

But, first you had to make sure he knew you could do more push-ups than him.

A/N: Thank you so much for reading! I’m excited to get to part three!

part 1 | masterlist | part 3

[welcometojackass2022]

Perfect Shot (Sub!Bam Margera x GN!Reader) [Smut]

This was an anonymous request made a while back, and I thought it was a really cool idea! This is my first Bam fic in a while, sorry about that.

Description: It’s the middle of filming for Jackass: The Movie, and Bam’s in a bad mood. As the main camera operator (and one of Bam’s good friends), you feel that it’s your responsibility to help Bam relax, so you offer him a blowjob. Long story short, this ends with you not only blowing him, but also filming the entire thing while he whines and begs and his legs get shaky.

Warnings: Cursing, Smut, Blowjob, Sub Bam and Dom Reader, Bam being whiny and pathetic and begging while you blow him, You filming yourself sucking Bam off, Bam’s a dick at first and you suck him off to calm him down

@asskickedbygirl tagging you as always.

If there was one thing that you’d learned in your time as a camera operator for Jackass, it was that there was always at least one member of the cast who was in a bad mood on set at any given time. Preston would be pissed off because the guys did something fucked up to him during a stunt, or Ehren would be upset cuz he got picked on by the guys like always, or Johnny would be slightly less friendly than usual because he hadn’t had any coffee yet, or Jeff would be grumpy because one of the stunt ideas hadn’t worked out like it was supposed to. No matter what day it was or where the crew was filming, there was always someone who wasn’t happy about something, and on this particular day, that someone was Bam Margera.

You were setting up your camera in one of the rooms of the main production building to get ready for a scene you’d be filming later of Jeff and Johnny talking about a stunt that had ended up failing; right as you leaned down to look through the lens of the camera to adjust it, you heard the door to the room open, and you glanced back to see Bam walking in with a grumpy look on his face as he slammed the door shut behind him. “Hey, Margera.” He didn’t respond, wordlessly plopping down in one of the chairs you’d set up in front of your camera for Johnny and Jeff to sit in later on, his arms crossed as he slumped down and stared at the floor. You adjusted the lens of your camera, using Bam’s irritated figure as the center of the shot to make sure you had the right angle for later. “What’s the matter? Did Johnny and the others throw you into a snake pit again?” Bam shot you a look, and you laughed. “Sorry, I’m not trying to make fun of you. Seriously, Bam, what’s up with you?” He sighed, slumping even farther down in the chair and leaning his head back in frustration. “Knoxville and Tremaine are fucking dickheads, that’s what’s up with me.”

You raised your eyebrows, trying to hide the smirk that was threatening to play at your lips. “Do tell.” You looked through the lens once more to check the angle and then walked over to sit in the chair next to Bam, tilting your head to the side as you waited for him to inevitably start ranting about whatever Johnny and Jeff had supposedly done wrong. “I had this awesome fucking idea for a stunt and neither of them wanna do it. They said it doesn’t actually count as a stunt and can’t be shown in theaters or on television.” Your eyes widened. “Damn, really? I can’t remember the last time I saw either of them reject a stunt, what was your idea?” Bam glared at the floor. “I wanted to fuck Jenn on a skateboard going down a big-ass ramp.” You stared at him in silence, trying to discern if he was being serious or not; the look on his face made you realize he was being totally genuine, and you burst out laughing, much to his chagrin. “Don’t fucking laugh, it’s a good idea.” You pressed your mouth to your hand, trying to stifle your laughter as you brushed a stray tear from your eye. “Don’t laugh? Bam, I’m sorry, but that is the single funniest thing anyone has ever said to me in my life. First of all, I don’t even know if it’s possible to fuck on a skateboard, let alone one that’s going down a ramp. And second of all, I thought you and Jenn broke up last week.”

Bam shrugged, sitting up a little bit in his seat. “We did. But we’ve broken up like ten times this month anyway, so I wouldn’t be shocked if we got together again soon. And that’s the point! How will we know if it’s possible to fuck someone on a skateboard if we don’t try it? It’s like being a scientist, you have to do experiments and shit.” You smirked. “Yeah, Bam, sounds very scientific to me.” He rolled his eyes at your sarcasm. “You’re supposed to be on my side, asshole, stop being a smart-ass.” You smiled apologetically, patting him on the shoulder. “Aw, I’m sorry, Bam, I’m really not trying to make fun of you here. It sounds like a really cool stunt idea. But I can see why Johnny and Jeff would say no. It would be kind of hard to show you and Jenn fucking on a skateboard and going down a ramp in a way that could actually be shown on TV.” Bam frowned. “Censor bars exist for a reason.” You laughed softly; it was still pretty funny, but he was clearly very upset, to the point where you had the feeling that it wasn’t just the rejection of his stunt idea that was bothering him. “Is that all that you’re upset about or is there something else?” You stopped smiling to show that you were genuinely asking, and Bam sighed, stressfully rubbing his hand over his forehead.

“No, I guess it’s not the only thing. None of my fucking skate tricks landed this morning, some chick at a bar called me pudgy yesterday, and this whole thing with Jenn is stressing me out.” You sucked your teeth sympathetically. “That’s a lot of things.” Bam nodded, pinching the bridge of his nose and leaning his head back again. “Yeah.” The two of you sat in silence for a moment, his eyes closed like he was trying to calm himself down, and you took the opportunity to look him over. He was stressfully tapping one of his feet on the floor, his jaw was tense, and he still had that grumpy look on his face. No wonder he was being so pissy; he was clearly overwhelmed with stress. If it were any of the other guys, you wouldn’t have cared that much; they were great and all, but you weren’t necessarily close with them, and seeing them be in bad moods was pretty common (aside from Pontius, who was almost always happy). Bam, on the other hand, had been close friends with you since before the first CKY video was released, and although he could be a total brat at times, he was usually still in a pretty good mood, so seeing him be so stressed out was genuinely concerning to you. You tried to think of a way to help him calm down; let him rant? No, he’d kinda already done that. Giving him a hug? No, Bam would throw a punch if you tried. Sucking his dick to help him relax? Well, it wasn’t a horrible idea.

“You want a blowjob?” Bam’s eyes snapped open, his hand moving away from his face as he stared at you. “Huh?” He was clearly expecting you to backtrack on your question, but you just doubled down and asked again. “Do you want me to give you a blowjob? Like, to calm you down. You just seem really stressed out and I figured maybe a blowjob could help you cool off a bit so you don’t end up choking out Knoxville or Tremaine.” Bam stared at you again, trying to decide if you were being serious or not, and once he realized that you were, he sat up straight in his chair, glancing over at the door that was slightly ajar. “Wait, for real? Are you actually offering or are you gonna laugh at me if I say yes?” You laughed, standing up to close the door to the room. “I mean, if I’m joking then it’s not a very funny joke. Asking if you want anal would be funnier. So no, Bam, I’m not going to laugh if you say yes. I am, however, going to lock this door. So is that a yes?” Bam thought it over for a moment, looking significantly less annoyed than he had just a few moments prior, and then he nodded. “Yeah, sure. Probably won’t fix anything, but it’s worth a shot.” You nodded back, locking the door and walking back over to kneel at his feet in front of the chair, resting one hand on his knee as you moved the other to his fly to unzip it. “Wait.” Bam grabbed your hand to stop you. You glanced up at him; he suddenly looked nervous, and you pulled your hand away.

“What’s wrong? You don’t want one? It’s fine if you don’t but you should probably tell me now.” Bam shook his head, still looking slightly nervous. “No, I do want one, I just…never mind. Just do it, forget I said anything.” You stared up at him with concern. “Are you sure? I’m not gonna do this if you don’t want me to.” He nodded, his face going red as your fingers brushed over the zipper of his pants again, and you proceeded to pull the zipper down, pulling the fly apart so you could reached your hand into his exposed boxers to pull his cock out. It was already half-hard, the tip slightly red as you teasingly ran your thumb over his slit; he let out a soft gasp under his breath, gripping at the armrests of his chair as he watched you take his cock into your hand. It wasn’t very big, but you already knew that anyway; Bam’s dick size was a pretty big source of jokes within the friend group. If anything, it was at least nice to look at. You didn’t wanna waste any time, so you leaned down and licked a stripe up the shaft, reveling in the slightly salty taste. Bam’s hips jerked up slightly, but he kept his lips shut to hide the noises he was making as you wrapped your lips around the tip. You suckled on the head, lapping up his precum from the slit, and he gripped the armrests of the chair so hard his knuckles turned white, biting down on his bottom lip like he was trying to stop himself from being too loud. You glanced up at him in amusement as you suckled even harder.

You pulled Bam’s hands away from the armrests (his grip was so tight you had to practically peel his fingers off of them) and guided them to the top of your head, letting him tangle his fingers in your hair to give him something else to focus his grip on. He immediately tugged on your hair, his grip tightening when you slid your mouth all the way down his shaft. You sucked on his shaft with as much force as you could, eliciting a loud whine from Bam’s lips, and he immediately pulled one of his hands away from your hair to cover his mouth with a look of red-faced embarrassment. You raised your eyebrows, pulling your mouth off of his cock to grin at him. “Everything okay, Bam? I’ve never heard that sound come out of your mouth before.” He glared at you, pulling the hand away from his mouth to push down on the back of your head in an attempt to get your lips back around his cock. “Shut up.” You smirked, staring up at him to gauge his reaction as you ran your tongue over the underside of his cock at an agonizingly slow pace that made his whole body shiver, his grip on your hair getting tight again as another uncharacteristically whiny moan fell from his lips. You dragged your tongue over it again, and his legs started to shake, his hands yanking at your hair desperately to try and pull your mouth back down on his shaft. You pulled away again, raising an eyebrow at him. “Damn, Margera, I never would have guessed you were so sensitive.”

Bam started to complain again, but you shushed him, covering his mouth with one hand as you used the other to rub the leaking red tip of his cock with the pad of your thumb. “Don’t start with me, Bam, I’m not making fun of you. I like it when guys get all sensitive and whiny when I’m blowing them, it’s sexy. I’d love to have a video of you being all pathetic and desperate and whiny for me, seeing all the cute little facial expressions you make when I’m sucking you off would be so hot. Actually…” You glanced back at the camera that was still set up, an idea coming to your mind as you released Bam’s cock from your grip and stood up. Bam stared up at you in confusion. “What are you doing?” You laughed, walking over to your camera and adjusting it to center on Bam again. “Can I film this?” He blinked in confusion. “You wanna film yourself sucking my dick?” You nodded with a grin. “Yes. It’s kinda hard to see all the faces and sounds you’re making when I’m trying to focus on sucking you off, but if I film it, I won’t miss anything.” Bam absentmindedly took his hard, leaking cock into his hand, stroking it at a steady pace as he thought it over. “Yeah, alright. Just don’t show it to anyone. Now can you come back over here and finish the job, please? I need to cum so fucking bad that it hurts.” You smiled, pressing the camera’s record button and making your way back over to him. “Wow, look at you begging me. I like that, you should keep doing it.”

You laughed at the unamused look on Bam’s face and took his leaking cock into your hand again, wrapping your fingers around the base and taking the entire shaft into your mouth as you swirled your tongue over the drooling slit and slick red tip, slurping up his precum as you coated his shaft in saliva. Bam let out a choked noise, his hips jerking wildly as he fisted his hands into your hair again, and you pulled your mouth back off of his cock with a slick pop, jerking his shaft in your hand as you glanced up at him to admire the flustered look on his face. A loud whine left his mouth, his eyes half-lidded as he bucked his hips up to try and push his tip back into your mouth. “I liked seeing your legs get all shaky earlier, Bam. Here, get up from that chair and stand so I can feel your legs shake while I’m sucking you off.” Bam looked slightly shocked at the request, but he did as he was told, standing up and pushing his chair back so he was still within the frame of the camera as you took his cock back into your mouth. Now that he was standing, he had to lean over you with his hands on the back of your head for support, his legs already starting to shake as you suckled intensively on the tip of his cock. You felt his cock twitch inside your mouth, a needy whine leaving his lips as the salty taste of his precum became more noticeable inside your mouth. “Fuck, I’m so close, don’t stop.” His voice cracked pathetically as the tip of your tongue ran over his dripping slit.

You let him push your head all the way down so the tip of his cock was pressed against the back of your throat, sucking in your cheeks to make your mouth feel as tight around his shaft as it possibly could, his balls slapping against your chin as he hurriedly thrust his hips foreword in a desperate attempt to bring his orgasm on faster. A loud, whiny, pathetic moan fell from his lips, throwing his head back as he finally shot his load down your throat. You sucked the cum straight from his slit with an intensity that made Bam’s knees buckle, and he had to grab at your hair again to keep his balance. He bucked his hips forward as he rode out his orgasm, the energy of his thrusts gradually decreasing as he finished, and by the time he finally pulled his cock out of your mouth, he looked exhausted—but relaxed, nonetheless. His previously pissed off look had been replaced with one of slight satisfaction, a cute little smile on his face as he pushed his cock back into his jeans, zipped up his pants, helped you up from the floor and sat back down in his chair. You leaned down to push his bangs back from his slightly sweaty forehead, grinning at the pleased look on his face. “Feeling better?” Bam nodded. “Much better. Still kind of mad at Tremaine and Knoxville, but I don’t wanna choke them out anymore.” You laughed. “Good. Glad I could help. Anytime you need some stress relief, you know where to find me.” You walked over to the camera to stop the recording, clicking on the video to view it, and then you frowned. “Ah fuck, the shot was unfocused for the entire video….how about a quick reshoot?” Bam grinned excitedly.

[babyboibucky]

Angel on Her Knees

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: You give Bucky the TLC he deserves.

Word Count: 1.5k

Warnings: SMUT, an overly eager blowjob 😏

A/N: So this is the first blowjob fic I’ve ever done and this is all thanks to @borikenlove sending me ideas with encouragements from my nasty babes @bitchassbucky and @sarge-barnes-sir okay tbh I didn’t proofread this because I’m super excited to post this filth 😌 I hope this reached y’alls expectations 😬

MAIN MASTERLIST

Bucky’s had a long and rough day, judging by his heavy footsteps and soft grunts when he arrived home.

You were in the kitchen washing the dishes, eyeing Bucky warily and gauging his mood.

“Rough day, babe?” You called out sweetly, your eyes following Bucky as he sat on the couch.

He merely groaned in response, throwing his head back against the back of the couch, his eyes closed and brows furrowed in deep thought.

The scowl on Bucky’s face was supposed to make you feel bad for him, he looked tired and worked up— exhausted actually. Would it be inconsiderate of you if you were legitimately turned on by how your boyfriend looked right now?

You found yourself tilting your head to get a better view of Bucky on the couch. His legs were wide open, stretching out the garment of his jeans across those thick thighs of his; the rapid movement of his chest as he heavily breathed out through his nose, the black shirt he had on only accentuating his pecs.

And his face, did he really have to have that expression when exhausted?

Licking your lips, you turned off the faucet and wiped your hands dry. Your eyes never left Bucky the entire time as you silently waltzed into the living room.

For a super soldier with enhanced hearing, Bucky sure wasn’t attentive enough to notice you when you knelt down on the ground, positioning yourself in between his legs.

“How tired are you, baby?” You purred, holding onto Bucky’s knees.

Bucky jolted in his seat, eyes snapping open when you spoke. He lifted his head up and saw you looking up at him and the sight alone instantly made him forget what he was stressing over.

You on your knees in between his thighs, looking so innocent yet devilish at the same time. How could Bucky say no to you when you were gazing up at him like an angel who looked more than ready to sin?

“Not too tired for whatever it is going on in that head.” Bucky rasped out and lovingly caressed your hair.

You took your lower lip in between your teeth, your hands immediately sliding up from Bucky’s knees towards his thighs. Bucky watched you with half-lidded eyes and his mouth parted as you impatiently fumbled with his zipper.

“Just sit back, baby. Let me do all the work.” You whispered before taking Bucky’s semi-hard cock out of the confines of his boxers.

Bucky let out a hiss when you pressed an open-mouthed kiss on the tip as you wrapped a hand around his shaft. It only took him a couple of kitten licks on the head for his cock to fully harden and you moaned out loud when you felt it pulse against your palm.

His cock was hot and heavy, red and already seeping with pre-cum. And you haven’t even taken him into your mouth yet. Bucky’s hands found purchase on the edge of the couch as he watched you flatten your tongue against his shaft, licking your way back up to the tip and then sucking the head into your mouth.

“Jesus fuck...” Bucky grunted, hips thrusting upwards with need.

You tutted and pulled back, “Stay still and keep your hands on the couch, babe.”

Bucky exhaled through his nose and nodded, letting out a growl when you started pumping his cock in your hand. Your strokes were slow, too slow for Bucky’s liking and good god, the way you were staring up at him was making it hard for Bucky to hold back.

He wanted to take your head and fuck your mouth, wanted to feel you gag around his cock, wanted to see you look up at him with tears in your eyes.

Obviously, that can wait until next time because as much as Bucky loved to take control, seeing you take the wheels on this one was something else.

Bucky’s knuckles turned white when he gripped the couch tighter than ever, his thighs trembling when you finally took his cock into your mouth.

You didn’t go slow, that was for sure. You went straight to it, taking him deep into your throat and keeping him there until you choked. You released him with a gasp, moaning when you saw how Bucky was looking down at you with feral eyes.

“Keep watching me.” You said, darting your tongue out to scoop some of his pre-cum and humming at his taste.

“You’re fuckin’ killing me, sweetheart.” Bucky grunted, scrunching his face in pleasure.

You grinned up at him before taking his cock back into your mouth, hands curling around his knees for support as you went to town. You bobbed your head up and down, letting your tongue swirl around the crown of Bucky’s cock every once in a while.

A mixture of spit and pre-cum started dribbling from your lips as you sucked his cock, humming whenever you felt him hit the back of your throat.

Bucky’s jaw tensed as he watched you, your cheeks hollowing whenever you pulled back. His neck and ears were red as opposed to his hands that were turning white as they clutched onto the edge of the couch so tight, his fingers were close to digging holes through the fabric. He was fighting so hard not to lift his hips up, he felt like he was going to combust any time now.

The vulgar slurping sounds of your mouth as it does wonders to Bucky’s dick rang through the air, coupled with the low growls reverberating from his chest.

“God, baby...fuck...you’re sucking my cock so well.” Bucky moaned, throwing his head back as he focused on how your mouth felt so fucking good around him.

“Watch me, Bucky.” You preened and started pumping his cock with both your hands.

“Wanna see your face when I suck your cock.” You moaned and waited for Bucky to meet your eyes before sucking him back into your mouth.

Bucky let out a growl when your hand squeezed his balls, fondling it in your palm as you continued to bob your head.

The whirring sound of his vibranium arm caught your attention. Bucky was so close, so so close and he was holding back from lifting his hips up that the plates on his arm moved on their own.

You smirked, mouth full of Bucky’s cock and then you sucked him so hard that he came without warning. Ropes of his cum filled your mouth, some escaping from your lips and dripping down to your chin.

“Goddammit!” Bucky grunted and grabbed your head, trying to push you back when you continued to suck.

Bucky was moving his hips away but you refused to let him go, pressing your hands down on his thighs to keep him in place. You sucked and flicked your tongue, ignoring the string of curses that left Bucky’s mouth.

“Baby...jesus...s-stop babe...” Bucky’s moan was never like this, high-pitched and so wanton and it spurred you to keep going, curious to see how long Bucky could take.

Bucky’s toes curled inside his shoes, his entire body feeling tingly from how you kept sucking his cock. His head was spinning and yet he couldn’t look away from you as you continued working him up as you eagerly sucked him.

Bucky’s legs began to tremble, pleasure and pain mixing into a certain sensation that he couldn’t even describe.

It was too much but so good at the same time.

Bucky hissed, his lower lip quivering as he let out a loud groan. You slowly pulled back, lips dragging against his softening shaft and tongue flickering on his slit.

You hummed and wiped your chin clean with the back of your hand. Bucky let out a deep, long sigh before relaxing onto the couch. Resting his head against it as he tried to catch his breath.

You could see the aftershocks course through Bucky, his cock stirring oh so slightly whenever he shuddered.

“Good god, woman.” He breathed out with a chuckle.

He looked divine like that, his forehead sweaty and entire face red. His brows were furrowed, lips pink and swollen from being bitten down whenever he held back on his moans— it made your pussy clench around nothing.

“How are you feeling now?” You teased and moved on top of Bucky, straddling him.

Bucky lifted his head to give you a kiss, “I don’t think I can even remember my own name. Fuck, I thought you weren’t going to stop.” He said, his hands caressing your thighs.

You giggled, “I wouldn’t if you hadn’t moaned so wantonly like that.”

Bucky burst out laughing, “That was my soul leaving my body.”

You hummed and took Bucky’s vibranium hand, bringing it down to your clothed cunt and letting Bucky feel how drenched you already were.

Bucky growled and stroked your pussy through your damp panties, “How about I let you experience what it’s like for your soul to leave your body?”

It was your turn to elicit a moan so wanton and needy, you were sure that you wouldn’t even have a soul left in your body by the time Bucky’s finished with you.

-

Everything Bucky Tag List:

@ddowii @jessou893 @stealapizzamyheart @bagelofthelord @mxnt @dontputyourfckingdrinkonmytable @jeeperky @ohladymacbeth @wildflowergubler @supraveng @twinerd14 @buckysmar @bakugouswh0r3 @sweetcoldharmony @wintersfilm @charminivy @amelia-song-pond @iamvalentinaconstanza @mcubqrnes @i’m-squished @tcc-gizmachine @sipsteacasually @prettyintopeerpressure @weloveyasmin @est19xxshit @bloodhon3yx @dressed-in-prada @lizette50 @thatfangirl42 @sunflowerbunny2​ @unmagically​ @okiegirl24 @sugarpunch-princess @enlyume @vvipgotbb @slimeyderp @lyoongx @just-deka @nobody-will @jaziona92 @elisebuitron @dpaccione @suvikamahes98blr @buckybarneshairpullingkink @earthtonav @x-judyjude-x @nani-kenobi @just-here-to-escape-from-reality @belladonnabarnes​ @iloveangstposts @weenersoldierr @asemistablehundredyearoldman​ @reidbuck​ @lizzarooni @girlfriday007​ @5-seconds-of-mendes @whoth3hellisbucky​​ @bonkywobble​ @lost-in-the-stars03

[absoluteindulgence]

Imagine being that couple that breaks the bed during... y'know🥴

Alright, The title is long, but meh I wanted to keep this short and sweet lol I'm gonna start this off with just the main bois and MY BEST BOI. If yall want a part 2(It’s up now), please let me know because this was fun as hell, lmao. These dudes are aged up (18+); this isn’t even that vulgar, but I wanted to give a heads up.

💚Deku💚

Hella good friends with the clerk, you always get discounts on pillows, bedsheets, and plastic covers anything from that department store, honestly.

They love when y'all come because you usually spend BANK just off the fact that your home is your safe haven, and you build it up to be the coziest place on earth.

He's not the same shy, overreacting teen you met back at U.A.

He's way more relaxed but not always collected. He's stammering over his words since the bed breaking was totally his fault.

Sometimes you do the talking because you can't afford to get embarrassed every time you come. You're more covert and just wanna get back home before too many fans see you two together and bombard you with autographs and selfies in your hero poses, lol.

The clerk insists that there's no need to explain further, and yet, he says

"She told me not to hold back. She knows I'm committed; she knows I like a challenge!"

Silence

Your face is on fire from the embarrassment. You want to explode.

The clerk gives you an apologetic look, and during checkout, they throw in complimentary fabric refreshing spray and candles.

Deku pays for it, hella red in the face.”I said too much, didn’t I?”

“Gee babe, what do you think?”

💥Bakugou💥

You're mad at Baku the whole car ride there, and he just keeps huffing.

"Can't believe we actually have to come back… It's only been 2 fucking weeks, UGH."

You get there and call over a clerk, and they recognize you as heroes. They're overly excited to see you since they are a fan of you and Baku.

You explain that you need a new bed frame since the last one broke due to "unforeseen circumstances."

Baku immediately rolls his eyes, fed up with your storytelling.

He knows you're quick to throw him under the bus, so he just listens to what you tell them.

The store clerk is eager to help and finds one quickly but can't find the price tag for it, so tries looking through their database.

A couple fans notice you and wave “Hi” just to not impose on your free time.

You're getting kind of antsy because the store is oddly crowded, and you don't want too many people in your business about what you're purchasing.

Granted, it’s a fucking bed frame, but you’re self-conscious nonetheless.

Finding the price, the clerk shares it, and Baku goes ballistic.

"REALLY (Y/N), YOU ASK ME TO BLOW YOUR BACK OUT, AND THIS IS MY PUNISHMENT?"

The bed frame is set to be high quality with a beautiful brass finesse set for royalty, and yet the price is astronomical.

The clerk is SHOCKED, to say the least, but feels a little bad, so they give you a lifetime discount on bed frames for your love thumping.

❄Shouto🔥

Your thoughts immediately go to "Aw shit, here we go again."

You really thought you were Megan the Stallion, making his dick go brrrrr

Until he brrrrr’d back

Granted, the clerk there is always smiling and respectful, but a part of you is still hella embarrassed every time you go.

You guys are pro heroes, so it makes things even worse -in your head, at least-

You guys switch who'll talk from time to time. He knows how to talk to people better but still finds it draining; because he loves to be in solitude with you.

He speaks to the clerk, reassuring that any bed will suffice as long as it doesn't do this.

Shows literal pictures of the damage, and your bedroom looks like the LoV made a 5-minute renovation. The clerk is entirely shocked, trying hard not to show it, but it’s effortless to read.

"She told me to give her everything I got, and so, I did."

Buries face in shame

🌞☀️Mirio☀️🌞

This man is laughing the whole way there even as you try to explain why you need a new one.

The clerk is just there, nodding into oblivion as you over-explain and get more flustered with each synonym you use for the word break.

Mirio is hunched over at the toiletry aisle, losing breath by the second, there's been a lot of hilarious moments since you've become an item, but this takes the cake.

The clerk understands and makes haste with a new frame that's not even on the shelves and probably a new set unreleased to the public eye.

Mirio pays for it now without hesitation, and before you could thank the clerk for the accommodation, Mirio says, "I hope this bed is worth it."

"Because the last bed just didn't have enough power to do it." And with that, he winks and grabs the bed frame to pack it up in the car.

Laughing all the way out the store, “Come on, babe, don’t drag your feet we gotta try out the new set! I’m looking to break a record!”

Pray for your kitty📿

[sergeantbuckybarnes]

fearless // bucky barnes

Summary: You ask Bucky to go to your high school former reunion with you, but when you see your ex-boyfriend there, things don’t go well.

Pairing: Chubby!Bucky x Reader

Word count: 1.3k

Warnings: undefined age gap, people are assholes to bucky, insecure bucky, protective reader, mentions of sex, angst, fluff

A/N: As always, remember English is not my first language. Also, thanks to @amandalove​ for proofreading this!

A/N 2: Hope this made justice to the idea you send me @extraordinarygirl1214​, and tagging @buckys-estrella​ because you asked me to!

main masterlist

Your high school reunion was approaching and you asked your boyfriend to go with you. It had been so many years since you saw some of your friends, you wanted to know about their lives now, how much had they changed, and you wanted to share with them how happy you were to have found an incredible man like Bucky.

He was reluctant at first, you had told him about your high school days, you were popular, you were the captain of the cheerleaders, you were prom queen and you dated the captain of the football team. It was obvious your friends expected you to end up with a fit man with a six-pack that was the cover of some magazine. He knew you deserved someone like that, but instead you chose him, an overweight, unattractive man who was older than you.

He knew you were too good for him, and he was waiting for the moment when you realized it and kicked his ass.

You never liked the way Bucky saw himself, you reassured him a thousand times that you loved him and that he was perfect to you. He made you happy. None of your former boyfriends had made you feel as loved as Bucky did. You knew that you wanted to spend the rest of your life with him.

Bucky would do anything for you. You had him wrapped around your finger. His friends often joked about how whipped he was, not that he minded it, because he knew it was true. He would give you the moon if you asked him to. That’s why he was in your former high school, hand intertwined with yours.

You spotted your friends and smiled, walking towards them with your boyfriend beside you. They seemed so happy to see you, but when their gazes fell on the blue-eyed guy their faces changed.

“Who’s that?”

“Chelsea, Chloe, this is James, my boyfriend.” The excitement for them to finally meet the guy that had stolen your heart was plastered on your face.

“You’re joking, right?”

You frowned, not understanding the reaction your friends had. Bucky, on other hand, understood it perfectly. He knew it would happen. It was what always happened.

“Y/N, my dear, are you telling me that you are sleeping with that every night?” The repulsion on your friend’s voice made Bucky’s stomach switch.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Your voice was not cheerful anymore. There weren’t many times when you got angry, but you wouldn’t stand there and hear them bring your boyfriend down.

“What’s going on in here?” You sighed exasperatedly when you heard his voice. John Walker. Your ex-boyfriend. He looked at your friends, then at you, and then his gaze shifted to your boyfriend, asking who he was.

“Y/N’s boyfriend,” Chloe answered, making your boyfriend laugh like the woman had just told him a bad joke.

“Seriously, Y/N? It was obvious you wouldn’t find anyone better than me, but this?” Bucky was starting to feel more self-conscious and insecure than ever. He dropped your hand and turned to leave. This was too embarrassing.

“Listen to me,” your voice made Bucky stop in his tracks, “That man is a million times better than you and your tiny dick.”  Your loud voice started to get the attention of the other people in the room. “He treats me like I’m his entire world, and when he looks at me there’s actually love and adoration in his eyes. The only reason you dated me was for the sex.”

“And why do you think he’s dating you? Look at him!”

“Seriously, Y/N. I thought you were smarter than this.” This time it was Chelsea who spoke. “Besides, how old is he? He looks like my dad.”

“Can he even get you off?” John mocked.

“Yeah, he can. He can give me multiple orgasms, something you never could,” you replied with no hesitation. You wouldn’t stay quiet while he degraded your boyfriend like that.

“C’mon, Y/L/N. That lard-ass can’t please anybody.” That was the last straw. You walked to your ex-boyfriend, a smug look plastered on his face. So you did the thing you never thought you would do. You spit on his face. Shocked expressions appeared on both of your friends and your boyfriend, who was still behind you.

He wiped his cheek, “You bitch.” He raised his hand to hit you but your boyfriend stopped him, grabbing his wrist before he could touch you.

“Don’t even think about it.”

“Never thought you’d have these low expectations about men,” Chloe intervened. “Look at him, he’s so violent.”

Did she really?

“Alright, that’s enough. You all can fuck off. Because you know what? You all are a bunch of superficial assholes and that’s why you are gonna end up alone, while I’m gonna marry the most amazing man on earth and build a family with him.” You grabbed Bucky’s hand and exited the gym before anyone could say anything else.

“I’m sorry,” you apologized once you arrived to the parking lot. “You didn’t deserve to hear those things.”

“Why are you apologizing for something that wasn’t your fault?”

“Because you didn’t wanna come, and I know you did it for me, to make me happy.” If you hadn’t insisted on him coming with you, none of this would have happened, and Bucky would be happy having his usual Friday night with Steve and Sam. Instead he had to go through hell and hear things that only increased his insecurities. Just for you.

“I came because I wanted to. It’s not your fault your friends think like that.”

“You’re really wonderful, did you know that?” You caressed his cheek, looking deep into his eyes. There wasn’t anger or resentment towards you. Only love.  You pulled him in, claiming his mouth. Bucky’s hand instantly wrapped around your frame. You could only focus on how soft his lips felt against you. He was so addictive, you couldn’t ever get enough of him. Every time you kissed him, time stopped and your knees went weak.

“Did you mean it?” Bucky asked when you pulled away, yet his arms were still wrapped around your waist and your faces so close that your noses were touching and your breaths were mixing. “About building a family with me.”

“Every word,” you said with no hesitation or doubt in your voice. “Do you?” You looked up to him.

Your boyfriend nodded. “There’s nothing I want more.”

“So… Will you marry me?” Bucky’s eyes widened at your question, not believing the words that left your mouth.

“D-did you… Did you just ask me to marry you?”

“I did. And I’m waiting for an answer.” Bucky took a moment to contemplate you, see if you were joking, but he only saw sincerity and love in your eyes. You were being serious. You wanted to build a family with him. You wanted him to be the father of your children. You wanted to grow old with him. You wanted to spend the rest of your life with him. You wanted to marry him.

You actually proposed to him. You proposed to him. In the parking lot of your former high school, after defending him in front of your ex-classmates and your ex-boyfriend. You had stood up for him. Just like you always did. Because you loved him. You loved him more than you ever loved someone.

“Yes!” he yelled, he picked you up and spun you around “Yes! Yes!” He didn’t remember the last time he had been this happy, but he did know that all the days to come were going to be memorable. He already could picture how gorgeous you were gonna look in your wedding dress, the excitement was rushing through his veins, he couldn’t wait to share the rest of his life with you.

[notepadsandtealeaves]

Jason Todd x GN!Reader in: Movie Nights with the (Bat)Boys™ Pt. 3

12 Days of Batmas || Day 8—Watching Holiday Specials

MINORS/AGELESS BLOGS DO NOT INTERACT || 18+ ONLY ||

↞ previous: firelight in gotham || decorating your home

|| ao3 version | 12 days m.list | batboys tag | main blog ||

|| dames day 8 | dick day 8 | tim day 8 ||

This man is all about getting cozy with you.

He’ll take any excuse to cuddle up with you—not that he actually needs one, of course—so naturally movie nights are right up his alley.

The most wonderful time of the year just got even better…

↠ Requested By: No one, technically ((but given the fact that I’ve been working on this series since last year I’m sure you’re all ready for me to wrap this ish up lmao)) ↠ Reader Gender: Neutral ↠ Content Type: SFW fluff ((but my blog’s 18+ so if minors want to consume my sfw stuff while still respecting my wishes of them staying out of this space, they can head over to my AO3)) ↠ CWs/TWs: Brief talk of a handsy Jay; slightly suggestive, but nothing to write home about, really. ↠ Betas? Nah, we don’t do that here. ↠ Total WC: 700~

So there’s no ficlets this time around folks. sorry about it but I just couldn’t come up with anything sadly. But! They’re pretty lengthy (they’re all 700+ words) so that’s something ig. Anyways, that’s enough rambling from me—have at it and (hopefully) enjoy!

Headcanon || WC: 700~

🌟 This man is all about getting cozy with you.

He’ll take any excuse to cuddle up with you—not that he actually needs one, of course—so naturally movie nights are right up his alley.

Warm, soft blankets, yummy snacks, and his boo all wrapped up in his arms while you veg out in front of the television? That’s prime date night material right there.

Loves to spoon during movie nights, doesn’t really care who’s wrapped around who, tho if you’re tinier than him he’s gonna tease you a bit if you wanna be the big spoon lol.

Lots of “My cute lil jetpack”s and “Can you even breath/see back there” and the like.

((but lbr—this boy loves having you hold him; tho he’ll rarely admit to this aloud, he won’t deny it if you say it))

🌟 Providing work hasn’t worn him out, he’s the type to stay up for the whole of things.

Even if you tip off he rarely follows suit, choosing instead to hold you tight and enjoy the feel of you in his arms, alive and well and safe.

If he does fall asleep he’s gonna be so sad! This was time that he was meant to spend with you, and he’s wasted it by sleeping.

Will promise to make it up to you, no matter how much you tell him that isn’t necessary, so just let him, okay? It’s as much for his sake as it is for yours.

🌟 V. much a commentator—esp. if the movie is one you’ve already seen before and-or he finds the plot to be overly ridiculous.

He’ll pull back if you want to watch the film in peace, but the minute those credits roll he’s gonna rip into it lol.

He’s v. indiscriminate with his critiques, has to be given his love for B-movies. There’s just something about the jank of those films that just does it for him; like were the creators actually trying to create something good, or were they self-aware? Either way he’s here for it.

🌟 He’s… also got a tendency to get a bit, let’s say handsy, if he finds the movie boring.

What? He’s gotta keep himself occupied somehow, and it’s not like he’s legit feeling you up from the start. Really it’s more of a caress that can easily turn into more if you give him the go ahead.

If that’s not the vibe he’s more than happy to keep it PG-13, much like I’m trying to do with these HCs lol.

🌟 As for what he likes to watch…

No matter the time of year, this is v. much a weekly thing for you, so he’s not too fussed about the lineup…

…Well so long as you don’t pull a Tim and try to marathon the Die Hard series lmao. They’re movies that take place during Christmas—that’s it, that’s all.

In a somewhat similar vein, he does consider Nightmare Before Christmas to be both a Christmas and a Halloween flick. This spicy take is not born from an actual strong opinion, btw, but rather from his love of trolling Damian lol.

There are a few standards that he’ll want to get at some point during your sessions; i.e. The Year Without a Santa Claus, How the Grinch Stole Christmas, Home Alone. These films never fail to get him in the holiday spirit.

((and yes, he is well aware of the fact that you can make the same argument for Home Alone as you can for Die Hard, but he also doesn’t care lmao))

This is also one of the few times you’ll catch him singing without a hit of embarrassment or restraint. Unsurprising given that most Christmas movie soundtracks slap.

Ngl, he finds most of the newer Made for TV movies to be terrible, but at the same time the season just doesn’t feel complete without watching at least one cheesy holiday flick.

((his favorite is Holiday in Handcuffs, but tbh he loves anything with Melissa Joan Hart in it; he’s kinda had a thing for her ever since her Sabrina days lol))

🌟 Overall movie nights with Jay are just *chef’s kiss* 10/10—would highly recommend cuddling up with this giant teddy bear of a man while you binge.

🌟 Up Next: Day Nine || Kissing Under the Mistletoe ((check back tomorrow!!))

Taglist is open, but to 18+ users only.

© notepadsandtealeaves, 2021 || Please do not repost, translate, or otherwise alter or distribute my works without my express permission. And for the love of god keep it away from Youtube and TikTok lol...

[peach-skull]

Forever yours

Forever yours

Tomura Shigaraki x Reader

__________________________________________________________________________

tags/TW

Unprotected sex, dry humping, pregnancy mention, cumming inside, childhood friends to lovers, facesitting, shiggy being his nasty self, no quirks au, fluff adjacent 

________________________________________________________________

You would get a turn once he died. That’s how it was: That’s how it had been ever since you two were children. Tomura rarely died in video games, so if you wanted a turn you either had to whine until he gave in or wait until he was too focused to notice you take it from him until it was too late. However, you weren’t interested in video games today. You were interested in him. In his soft blue hair, his long, slender fingers, his beautiful crimson eyes. You were head over heels for your best friend since childhood, Tomura Shigaraki. It was a terrible,  roiling mixture of puppy love and sheer lust. You wanted to go on long walks and hold his hand. You also wanted him to bend you over a table and fuck you until your legs gave out. 

“ Tomu.”

He didn’t answer you, too absorbed in his game to pay attention to anything else. You huffed and tapped him with your foot.

“Tomura!”

Shigaraki muttered something unintelligible and paused his game, looking at you over his shoulder.

“ What do you want, (Y/N)?”

Showtime.

“ I have, uh, a personal question for you”

He grabbed an energy drink and took a sip.

“ Just ask it already.”

You needed to ask this casually. Like you couldn’t care less about the answer. Just making friendly conversation.

“ You’re still a virgin, right?”

He choked on his drink, coughing and sputtering as he tried to think of an answer. Who just asks shit like that?! You better not be making fun of him.

“ That’s none of your goddamn business,asshole.”

Based on his reaction alone, he had to be. You shrugged casually and adjusted one of your thigh-highs, smoothing your pleated skirt once it was back in position. You had worn them especially for him: you knew him long enough to know what he liked.

“ I’ll take that as a yes. So am I. I want to lose it but like, with the right person y’know? Not some rando, or like, a boyfriend who’ll sour the experience if we break up.”

You have never used ‘like’ in a sentence so many times in your life. Or used the word rando. 

“ so I was thinking, wouldn’t it be way easier to do it with someone you already trust? Like a close friend . so what if we, Y’know, helped each other ou-

SLAM. before you could even finish your question, Shigaraki had moved from the foot of the bed to the headboard, straddling you with his hands gripping above your head. 

He loomed above you, a massive cheshire grin plastered on his flushed face.

“ You aren’t fucking with me, right? You’re being serious? You actually wanna fuck?”

You didn’t expect him to be so enthusiastic about it. You thought he would decline, or accept in a less...intense manner. He was panting and leering and- was he seriously drooling? As if to answer your question, a drop of spit landed on your chest. Maybe a keyhole sweater wasn’t the best thing to wear today. 

“N-no, I'm not messing around, Tomu. I-I want… I want to have sex with you.”

Tomura quickly laid on top of you, pinning you down and shoving his tongue into your mouth. You had never been kissed before.  You tried to keep up with him, but he was just so rough that it was difficult to do so.You put your trembling hands oh his shoulders and tried to wiggle into a more comfortable position. He snickered and began to grind against your lap, completely misunderstanding what you were trying to do. You pushed his face away, a string of saliva connecting your lips. 

“ Get off for a second, I need to move my legs.”

Tomura rolled his eyes but did as you said, crawling backwards on all fours. More of a scuttle, really. You lifted your skirt and spread your legs, revealing your string-tie panties.  You didn’t even get the chance to tell him to come back before he pounced, rutting against your covered pussy and latching onto your neck. You could feel the seam of his jeans rubbing on your clit as he frantically humped you. It felt better than you thought it would: his weight on you, the teeth on your throat, the grind of his hard cock on your aching sex. You were getting close to the edge already, moaning and grabbing onto his hoodie as you  tried not to finish.

“T-Tomura! Please slow down, I- ah! I’m- I don’t want to cum from kissing! Please, just s-stop for a second!”

Goddammit, he was so close. It hurt to pull away from the warm embrace of your thighs, but he grit his teeth and did it anyways. You had a point: cumming from dry humping alone was a little pathetic. Shigaraki sat back on his heels and surveyed the damage.

Your skirt was pulled up past your stomach. One of your thigh highs had rolled all the way down to your ankle and your neck was covered in bruises. The hole in the chest of your sweater had slipped, exposing the top of your nipples. You weren’t wearing a bra. Holy shit, you weren’t wearing a bra. You had waltzed over to his house and sat on his bed in thigh highs and a sailor skirt and one of those sweaters with a boob window and NO FUCKING BRA. Tomura jumped off of the bed and pulled down his pants without bothering to unzip them. As you stared at the absolute monster of a cock that your best friend somehow had tucked away just moments ago, you only had one question on your mind.

“ um, Shiggy?”

You only called him that when you were particularly nervous. Tomura tore off his hoodie, his shirt going along with it and threw them both on the ground.

“ Why the hell is your dick so goddamn big?!”

 He looked down at his crotch as if he had absolutely no clue that his cock was roughly the size of a coke bottle. He looked at you and shrugged.

“ No idea. It’s always been like this, can I fuck your tits?”

He had to be joking.

“What?!”

“ Can you give me a titjob? Please?! I’m really close! It’ll take like two minutes, I swear!

If you weren’t madly in love with this man, you’d put him and his stupid horse cock in a shallow grave.

“ Yeah, yeah, just gimme a sec…”

He sat on the edge of the bed and patted the spot next to him, grinning wildly.

“ Lay down over here and put your boobs on my lap. This’ll be great,I swear.”

Shit, why did he have to be so cute?! You grumbled about various grievances you had with your friend and his dopey smile and that scar on his lips and and his stupid fucking fat dick as you got off his bed and walked over to where he was sitting. You stood in front of him and took off your sweater, chucking it into his face.

“ I swear to GOD if you choke me with that thing, I’ll bite it off. No head-pushing, Understand?”

He just smiled and nodded his head rapidly. 

You turned around and took your skirt off, bending over afterwards to roll up the rogue stocking that had decided to slip. While you were busy trying to keep the damn thing from falling again, Tomura grabbed the strings tying your panties together and tugged, undoing the bows and yanking them off of you.

“HEY!”

He held the underwear up to get a closer look. They were white and (f/c) striped, with lace and a little bow on top. Absolutely adorable. He was going to add them to his collection when you weren’t looking,but he just couldn't resist pressing his face into the damp fabric and inhaling deeply.

Was this motherfucker seriously sniffing your panties right in front of you?! You snatched the cloth away from him and threw them across the room, safe from his nasty clutches. For now.

“ Heh, sorry about that (Y/N). You always smell so good, I couldn’t help myself.”

That really shouldn’t have made your stomach flutter the way it did. You laid on the bed, lowering your chest onto Tomura’s lap. He ran his hand down your back and slapped your ass, laughing when you yelped out of pain and surprise.

“ Raise your hips. I can’t have you doing all the work now can I?”

He lowered his hand past your ass, but his fingers couldn’t reach your clit, stopping a few centimeters short. He grumbled and leaned to the side, trying his best to figure out a position that would let him rub your clit and finger your dripping pussy at the same time and gave him the lap titjob he wanted. He might have miscalculated, but that couldn’t be: it looked great in the hentai he saw a couple weeks ago, so it should work just fine IRL!

“ Tomura, this position is kinda weird. I don’t think this is going to work the way you think it will.”

“ Yes it will! C’mon, just raise your hips a little more-”

You looked up at him as best you could from the awkward position on his lap.

“ You saw this in a doujin, didn’t you?”

After around five minutes of arguing about whether or not Tomura’s stupid position would ( or even could) work, you decided to take initiative by pushing him down  and sitting on his face. How else were you supposed to shut him up? 

“ Sorry, Tomu. This was the only way to get you to be quiet. Seriously, who the hell gets into an argument about hentai in the middle of a hookup? There’s a time and place for everything, dumbass.”

You drooled into your palm to make impromptu lube before wrapping your hand around the head of his cock, smearing your saliva and his precum around as you jerked him off. You had never given a handjob before, but if the moans sending vibrations straight to your  core where anything to go on, you were doing a pretty good job. You grabbed the back of his head and ground against his face, giggling when his cock twitched.

“ C’mon, make me cum! Don’t you wanna get to the main event? I want you to rail me until I can't walk. Don’t you wanna fuck me, Tomura? Do you wanna slam that fat cock into my tight little pussy or not?”

He’d always been fun to tease, but never like this. There was a sort of power in it now: you had him right where you wanted him. Or so you thought.Shigaraki growled and grabbed your ass to hold you still. He was sick and tired of you always messing with him. Elbowing him during multiplayer games so he would mess up.Taking the last sip of his energy drink, not even thinking of the indirect kiss. Filling his room with the smell of your perfume after a day of hanging out and then just leaving him alone to masturbate to the thought of you. 

“ Aw, are you getting cranky, Tomu? I’m almo-”

He licked  along your folds before getting to your clit. He drew slow circles with his tongue before wrapping his lips around the sensitive bundle of nerves and sucking harshly. He flicked his tongue over your clit, adding a maddening amount of stimulation to the already overwhelming act. You squealed and tried to pull away, but his grip on you was too strong. 

“ Oh fuck! It’s too much, I’m not gonna be able to - ah!- be able to focus on what I’m doing here!”

Tomura didn’t give a fuck about what you where trying to do. He cared about revenge. And if revenge came in the form of eating your pussy until you cried, then so be it. He had no plans of stopping : your bittersweet taste and your thighs squeezing his head was too damn good. He stopped sucking with a loud pop and shoved his tongue  deep inside of you. He didn’t have a lot of experience ( he had 0 experience) but he had heard enough stories from his more socially savvy friends to know that you were supposed to keep your hands, mouth, or toys on the clit at all times. Keeping this advice in mind, he rubbed his thumb over your clit.

This was ridiculous. How was he this good at eating pussy? He was supposed to be the same as you: an inexperienced virgin. Maybe all that porn he watched did some good. You had no idea. All you knew for certain was that if he got the upper hand, you’d never hear the end of it. Your efforts had slowed due to Shigaraki’s distraction. You gripped his cock harder and moved your hand faster. Tomura moaned and bucked his hips. With the amount of precum that was leaking out, he had to be close. 

He didn’t want to let you win, but your hand was making it impossible to focus. It was just so damn soft: nothing like his rough, calloused fist. Tomura had no idea how he was going to go back to his left hand after this. If your hand was this good, what was your cunt going to feel like? It really hit him then. He had been fantasizing about it for years, and now it was actually going to happen. He was going to fuck you. The mere thought of it caused the tension in his stomach to break, thick ropes of cum spurting out of his throbbing cock and landing on his torso. The look on his face was driving you insane: bright red, eyes rolled back in his skull, brows crinkled in a way you had always found adorable. You threaded your fingers through his hair with both hands and started desperately humping his face. You wanted to cum,needed to cum: you just wanted him to fuck you already. You had waited for years. You finally came with a wail, crushing his head between your thighs as you rode out the high of your long-awaited orgasm.

It took you several seconds to remember that your friend probably needed to breathe. You got off of him as quickly as you could on your trembling legs. 

  “ Are you okay, Shiggy? I didn’t mean to suffocate you: it just felt so good that I lost control…”

Shigaraki quickly sat up. He was doing great: just had the best nut of his entire life, got his head squeezed and his hair pulled, and he was going to lose his virginity to the girl he had pined over for nearly his entire life. How could he be doing anything other than amazing?!

“ I'm good.”

You looked at the mess all over his chest. How was it even possible to cum that much and still be hard? Was that just how much there always was? Did he need to see a doctor?

While the gears turned in your head, Tomura grabbed a shirt from the floor and wiped himself off, tossing the soiled fabric away once he was done. The sheer nastiness of that snapped you out of your confused state. You were about to say something when he beat you to it.

“ What position do you want to do?”

“Huh?”

“Y’know, like doggy, or cowgirl, or wheelbarrow-”

You didn’t think wheelbarrow was an actual position, but you really didn’t want to get into another argument right now. You were gonna call him out on it later, though.

“ I’d like to do missionary.”

Tomura nodded sagely. Missionary was a classic. A bit basic, but it would do.

“If you’re ready, let’s move on to the next level”

You nodded, too nervous to speak. He shuffled slowly towards you, hands shaking and arms outstretched. He needed to be cool about this: he came on a bit strong after your proposal earlier. You laid on your back and resisted the urge to cover your face with your hands. You had wanted this for such a long time, but he was just so big and he was seeing you naked and he was actually kind of muscular without his clothes on and- for fucks sake was he seriously drooling again?! 

Shigaraki quickly wiped the drool away from his mouth. You were just so beautiful. You looked scared,though-was it the drooling? He couldn’t help that! He started to scratch his neck- a habit that he just couldn’t seem to break. Even if it meant that he wasn’t going to get to have sex today, he needed to make sure that you still wanted this.

“ Are you okay? We can… we can stop i-

“NO! I mean- n-no, I’m fine. Just- just be gentle, okay?

Gentle. He could do that. Just go slow, don’t go in all the way, and probably no biting. Wait, didn’t he need a condom? It must not be that big of a deal if you didn’t bother to bring it up, right? Yeah, he could just pull out.

Tomura grabbed the base of his cock and lined it at your entrance before carefully pushing inside of you. It didn’t hurt nearly as bad as you thought it would: it just stung a little bit. You had expected ripping, bleeding pain before seeing his dick, and kind of assumed you would die after seeing it in all it’s terrifying glory. But no! You were alive and thriving.

Your partner in crime, however, was having a significantly harder time. Your pussy made his fleshlight feel like sandpaper in comparison: he considered burning the stupid peice of silicone after you two were done for being so inferior to the real thing. The fleshlight wasn’t this tight, or this warm, and it didn’t twitch like your pussy did. He honestly felt kind of bad for the times that he used it while thinking of you- not for jacking off to you or anything like that, but for using that piece of shit as a stand-in. It was insulting. Shigaraki figured that it probably wasn’t the best idea to put it in all the way in,but it was taking every ounce of his self-control to not just slam in balls-deep and fuck you into the mattress. 

….. Was he okay? There was a vein bulging on his forehead and he looked damn-near terrified. You were going to have to make the first move again. You put your hands on his waist and pulled him towards you until his hips were flush with yours. Despite the slow entrance, his cock hitting your cervix still knocked the air out of you. It hurt a bit more now, but not nearly enough to stop.

“ I-it’s okay Shiggy, it doesn’t hurt. You can move now..”

Tomura cautiously  pulled backwards a few inches and pressed back inside just as carefully. His first couple of thrusts were a bit awkward, but he soon found a slow, steady rhythm. 

You couldn’t believe how soft he was being. He leaned down and placed a gentle kiss on your collar bone before moving to your breasts, licking your nipple before putting it in his mouth and sucking. His other hand was lightly caressing the opposing mound. It was all so sweet and tender that you almost wanted to cry: you knew that he didn’t feel the same way that you did. But for now, all you could do was stroke his hair and pretend that you were making love instead of just hooking up. 

“Mmmmn, T-tomur-ah!”

This wasn’t fair! He had liked you for years, you were gasping and moaning underneath him, but something unpleasant was still prodding at the back of his thoughts. After this, you were going to find some strong, confident man to take his place. This was just practice. Shigaraki didn’t want this to be practice: he wanted you to be his last. He wanted to be your only. He buried his face in the crook of your neck and started to thrust into you harder. He wanted you to be all his.

“ Mmmineeee...” 

Mine?! Did he just say “mine”?! Did he- did he feel the same way?! No, that couldn't be: you probably just misheard him.

“ um, w-what did you say?”

He snapped his head up and glared at you, his ruby eyes practically glowing.

“ I said mine! I want you to be mine! MY player two, MY pussy,MINE!”

With every repeat of mine he slammed into you a little harder, a little rougher.

“Come on, say it! Say you’ll be mine, (Y/N)!

You felt like such an idiot. Of course Tomura wasn’t going to say that he liked you- this was Tomura you were talking about. But he’d been showing it for years- walking you home, helping you win plushies at the arcade, dying on purpose so you would get a chance to play, giving you his hoodie whenever it was cold out…. How did you not notice? But he was never going to take the final step. So as per usual, it was up to you to take initiative. You put your hand on his cheek and smiled when he nuzzled into your touch.

“ I love you, Tomura. I’ve always been yours.”

He froze at your confession. Oh shit, did you go too far? Was the whole “mine” thing just his idea of dirty talk? Shigaraki pulled out  and moved backwards. Just as you were about to say something, he grabbed your knees and moved your legs up until they were above your head. Was he seriously going to just ignore what you just said?! You just told him that you loved him, for fucks sake!  Did all the blood rushing to his dick leave him braindead? 

Shigaraki knew the look on your face well: narrowed eyes, pursed lips, puffed cheeks. Impatient and suspicious. He’d better not keep you waiting,then. He positioned himself so that his cock was dangling above your exposed hole and leaned in close until you two were nose to nose. 

“ I love you too, (Y/N).”

With your confession returned, he slammed into your waiting cunt in one quick thrust, groaning as he was finally balls-deep inside of your warm,slick pussy. You squealed as he jackrabbited into your core with short, deep thrusts, hitting a spot inside that you’d never been able to reach. The headboard of the bed crashed against the wall loudly, creating a lewd orchestra alongside the squeaking of the bedsprings and your wanton moans. Tomura’s hair fell alongside your face in a soft curtain, making it so he was the only thing you could see. As if you’d look anywhere else.

“ I love you! I love you! I mean it, I love you! You’re gorgeous, you feel so good, I love you! I love you so fucking much! I love you! IloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveIloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveIloveyouIloveyou-”

You pulled your babbling lover into a deep kiss as the knot inside of your stomach snapped. Your convulsing walls squeezed his cock in a vice grip as you came, nearly sending him over the edge .

“ C-can I cum inside? I don’t wanna pull out! I swear I’ll take responsibility if you get pre- i-if anything happens! Please, let me cum inside of you!”

You could barely think through your haze, so you just nodded your head. Of course he could cum inside: where else was it supposed to go? He wasn’t wearing a condom after all… you probably should’ve made him wear one. Oh well. That was a problem for future (Y/N) to worry about. 

Tomura wrapped his arms around your waist and thrusted his hips one more time before  

Blowing his load directly into your womb, spurt after spurt of creamy white filling you to the brim, tongue sticking out of his mouth as he howled with pleasure.

“Hhhhhhhhh…. I love youuuu…..”

 He let out a contented sigh and flopped on top of you without bothering to take his cock out of your cum-filled pussy. He was too tired- he’d pull out after a nap. You were just as exhausted as he was- cleanup was just another issue future (Y/N) would have to deal with. You yawned and nuzzled into his neck before drifting into a peaceful, messy sleep. 

End

_______________________________________

I wrote this after a debate with @libiraki about who’s dick was worse: Shigaraki or Dabi’s. 

[jungwonenthusiast]

Field Trip

A/N: I’ve been working on this pic for a while, I hope you guys like it :)

Pairing: Jake Sim x fem! reader

Word count: 5.2k

Genre: fluff, high school au

Warning: mentions of virginity loss and porn, occasional swearing, nothing else I think

“How many shirts should I take?” Jake asks you through your phone. 

“Uhm, we’re there for three days so take four just incase.” you reply and you pack your suitcase as well. 

You two were preparing for your five day field trip to New York which was happening tomorrow. 

You packed your favorite jeans and hoodies and even a dress just in case. You can't help but romanticize the hell out of New York after being stuck in this small town all your life. 

“How many pairs of underwear should I take?” he asks again and you giggle. He’s like a kid sometimes.  “How many times do you think you’ll change your underwear?” you say while sitting on your suitcase to get it to zip closed.

“Probably three but I’ll take four just in case.”

“What a quick learner.” you say and you hear him scoff. 

Jake has been your best friend since elementary school when you scraped your knee during tag and he took you to the nurse’s office. He’s been a sweetie since day one. 

“I doubt I’m gonna get any sleep tonight,” you sigh. “I’m too riled up.”

“Same,” he sighs. “I wonder how many flashers we’ll run into.”

You laugh. “Why is that the first thing you think of you creep.”

“Hey now,’ he chuckles. “I thought that was the stereotype.”

You hop onto your bed and pick your phone up, it looks like Jake’s doing the same. All you can see are his eyes and a bit of his nose bridge. His dark hair has started to grow out and it was poking at his eyelids. 

Your phone pings with a text from Jake. It’s a horrendous screenshot of you climbing over your phone to get into bed. You gasp.

“I’ll kill you.” you tell him as he’s holding in his laugh. “I will do it.”

His laugh bursts out of his throat, jolly and warm. “Why I love it.”

“I hate you so much. Delete it.”

“No way,” he bunches his brows. “You have an entire photo album dedicated to bad pictures of me.”

“And I also have an entire album dedicated to good pictures of you.” you roll your eyes.

“You do?” he asks. “That’s a bit fangirly of you.”

“Me? A fangirl? Maybe Madeline but not me.” you scoff.

“Madeline?” his voice perks up. “She likes me?”

“Yeah, I thought you knew this.” you swear that you’ve brought this up before. Maybe he just forgot. 

“Nuh-uh.” he says.

“Well...” you say. “do you like her back.”

“I mean she’s nice but,” he hesitates. “not really.”

“Why not? She’s smart and super pretty. I'm so jealous of her hair.” you say. Madeline was a tan ginger girl with curly fiery hair down to the small of her back. 

“You have nice hair.” he says nonchalantly. 

You touch it and rub it between your fingers. “It’s whatever.”

He scoffs. “You’re too hard on yourself all the time.”

“I’m a teenage girl, I can’t help it.” You defend yourself, but he isn’t lying. 

“I’m bored, can I come over?” he says suddenly. 

“Tonight? We have school tomorrow.” you reply. 

“Maybe I’ll just sleep over.” he says while turning over in his bed. “I don’t think our parents would care.”

Sleepover? You two hadn’t done that since you turned eleven. 

“Where would you sleep?” you ask him, already imagining how this would go.

“I don’t know on the floor.” he shrugs.

“I’m not letting you sleep on the floor I’ll feel bad.” you argue.

“I don’t care, I’m the one who suggested it, plus I miss you dude, I wanna hang out.” he says and you smile.

“I saw you on Friday.”

“Yeah, a whole two days ago.” he gets up off his bed. “Okay I’ll be there in ten.”

“What-” you start but he cuts you off.

He brings the camera up close to his face and he flashes you a smile. “Bye!” he hangs up. 

Your palms feel a bit sweaty and you brush them off on your pants. Why am I nervous? You guys have had plenty of sleepovers before but the rest of the boys were always there, probably passed out from beer or a sugar crash. 

You tidy your room up a bit and prepare a little blanket bed on the floor right next to your actual bed. 

You hear knocking at the door right when you expected, Jake was hardly ever late. 

“Hola~” he says as he walks in with his backpack on. He takes his shoes off before skipping over to your room. You giggle to yourself. 

He falls back onto your bed with a big sigh. “I missed being here.” 

“Why? There’s nothing cool here. Your house is way cooler.” you say and he smiles.

“Well I can’t deny that,” he shrugs and you punch him in the arm. “you’re the one who said it.”

“We get it rich boy.” you roll your eyes and sit down next to him.

“I’m just playing,” he sits up. “you know that.”

“I hope you showered after practice,” you say. “I don’t want you stinking up my bed.”

He whips his head to you, looking a little bit offended. “I am very clean alright? Here smell my hair.” he shoves his head into your face. 

You let out a strangled noise and try to push him away. “Okay, okay!”

“No smell it,” he keeps his hair up in your face, it’s tickling your nose. “smells like mangos right.”

Admitedly, he's right. It smells like mangos.

“Yes it does,” you squeak out. “now please respect my personal bubble.” you spread your arms out and create an imaginary bubble between you two. He tries to tug at your arm but you bellow in a robot voice. “PERSONAL BUBBLE PERSONAL BUBBLE.”

“Fine, fine.” he falls back onto your bed again, laughing. “Lets watch something.”

You follow suit and tug your laptop into your lap. 

“Hold on,” you get up and close your window, it was starting to get too cold.

You shimmy under your covers and pull up Netflix.

“Scary movie?” you click on the horror section.

“Sure but you probably won’t be able to sleep.” he teases and you roll your eyes. 

“That was years ago.” you start to scroll through the movies. 

“Mhm, and I’m never letting you live it down.” he says with pride. 

During freshman year the gang decided to go to Jay’s house to watch It together and it freaked you out so much that you went to sleep in the boys room rather than the guest room. 

You click on Hush, a movie you’ve been avoiding because it’s about one of your biggest fears, a home invasion. 

“I thought you hated this movie.” Jake says, crossing his arms.  “I do, but I need to face my fears eventually right?” you click on it and get up to turn the lights off. 

Jake soon gets under the covers as well. You both cringe and slap each other every time your feet touch. 

“Yo yo yo yo watch out!” Jake whispers and pulls his hood over his head, something you both do when you’re nervous. You weren’t wearing a hoodie so you settled with a spare blanket and draped it over yourself like a cloak. 

“Oh shit,” you whisper. “look behind you!” you yell at the main character. 

By the end of the movie both of your bodies are stiff and sore from being so tense for two hours straight. 

“I thought she was gonna die.” you sigh and you shut your laptop. 

“Nah, they couldn’t kill the main girl.” Jake says, comfy and cuddled up in your duvet. “She was so smart.”

“Yeah she was.” you yawn and then kick Jake in the side. “Go to your bed.”

He groans. “It’s warm here though.”

“Go and I’ll make pancakes tomorrow.” you say.

He perks up and follows your orders. 

You relax into your mattress, but you miss his warmth next to you. You ignore that. 

Your alarm goes off at 6:30 and Jake sleeps right through it. 

“How the hell does he get up in the morning?” you whisper. “Probably Leila.”

He’s sleeping on his side, cuddling a stuffed animal he must’ve stolen from your bed while you were asleep.

You stretch your back before washing up. 

Jake’s POV

My serene sleep is interrupted by pokes at my shoulder. 

“Get up poop.” she says. I almost forgot that I was at her house. I crack my eyes open to find her crouching next to me. 

“Good morning.” I croak out.

“You stole ginger.” she points at the stuffed bunny in my arms. 

“I was lonely.” I say before sitting up and rubbing my eyes. “What time is it?”

“7:30,” she says holding in a giggle. “go wash up so we can eat.”

“What’s so funny?” I ask her as she walks away. “You’ll see when you look in the mirror.” she says.

My eyes widen. Did she draw a dick on my forehead or something? I thought we swore to never do that.

I scramble to her bathroom to meet some gnarly bedhead. I have no clue how guys have good messy hair, my hair is either boring and flat or just messy. 

“Jesus.” I say to myself and try to run my head under the sink. 

I brush my teeth and secretly use her facial cleanser. 

“So fancy.” I whisper while lathering it up on my face. 

I can already hear her voice in my head when I’m drying off saying “don't forget to put lotion on, and face lotion, not body.”

A stack of pancakes is waiting for me in the kitchen, just as she promised. 

“Thank you mom.” I say to her before digging in.

She sits across from me with her own plate of flap jacks. She looks so pretty this early in the morning. Her face is fresh and sparkly and her eye bags somehow just make her prettier. It’s cloudy out and I can tell she’s cold she way her body is bundled up in her chair. 

I still remember the moment I realized that I liked her. It was seventh grade and we were at our town’s annual fair. She got a bit sick after a ride with a lot of loopdey loops so I stayed behind with her while the rest of the boys continued to go on every ride they pleased. She told me to go with them and that she didn’t want me to miss out but I said that it was fine and that I liked hanging out with her anyway. She smiled her bright smile at me and rested her head on my shoulder for a moment. Then she threw up on my shoes. Like projectile cotton candy, funnel cake, and other miscellaneous fair food vomit. And I didn’t even get that mad, I was more concerned for her. After that I figured I liked her, because if it were Jay I would’ve beat him up. 

“Did you have any nightmares?” I ask her and she shakes her head.

“Nah, I dreamt that Sunghoon married a dolphin. It was weird.” she sighs.

I choke on my pancakes. “A dolphin?”

“Yeah,” she laughs. “his name was Jerry.”

“And it was a guy too?” I hold my chest, trying not to choke.

“Don’t judge their interspecies homosexual marriage. It was beautiful.” she laughs and takes a big gulp of water.

I’m almost crying at this point. “Best dream ever. I can’t wait to tell Sunghoon this.”

“No!” her eyes widen. “He’s gonna think I fantasized about it or something.”

“What?” I cock an eyebrow. “Everyone knows that dreams are uncontrollable sometimes.” “Still it’s weird. Imagine if someone told you that I dreamt of you marrying a dolphin. It’s be weird.” she says through a mouth of pancake. 

“Did they have kids?” I cackle,

“I don’t know. How would that even work?” 

“Maybe they had a surrogate or something.” I suggest.

“Oh god,” she shakes her head, smiling. “we need to stop. I feel like I'm violating him.”

“Alright, alright.”

“Should I wear this shirt or this sweater.” she asks me as we’re getting ready in her room. 

“Sweater. It’s probably gonna be cold.” I say while tugging socks on. 

“Shit you’re right. Then I won’t be able to wear this dress.” she holds up a little dress that flows out a bit from the waist. 

“Bring it anyway and maybe you can wear it for a second so I can take pictures for you.” I suggest and she smiles. 

“Good idea.” 

We both settle of hoodies and jeans and say goodbye to her parents before hopping in my car. 

We get to school right when people start getting on the bus to the airport. We throw our luggage into the bottom carrier and get in line. 

“Yo!” I hear a familiar voice call as we get on. “We saved seats for you guys.”

Jay, Sunghoon, Heeseung, Jungwon, Sunoo, and Niki have already gotten comfortable in the back of the bus. Niki was already asleep. Y/N couldn’t help but pat his head before settling down next to Jungwon. The bus wasn’t a school one but one of those fancy ones they bring out once a year. 

I sit down next to Sunghoon and dap him up. 

“What’s up.” I say while putting my backpack down by my feet. 

“Tired.” he says. “Valentina kept me up all night.”

I raise an eyebrow and he smirks. 

“For real?” I ask and he nods. “No way.”

“Yeah way.” he says and holds up a fist.

I fist bump him and pat him hard on the shoulder. 

“You’re a man now Sunghoon.” I congratulate him and he snickers. 

“What does that make you then?” 

“I’m taking my time alright? I’ll get there eventually.” I say, a little embarrassed. 

I look back to check out what she’s doing when we start to drive off. She’s fast asleep with her cheek pressed against Jungwon’s shoulder. He looks like he’s about to dose off too. Cute. 

Sunghoon and I watch a couple episodes of Death Note before we arrive at the airport. Sunoo shakes Y/N and Jungwon up. 

She’s still groggy as we walk into the airport and grabs onto my arm for leverage. My heart jumps a little. It’s not often that we touch despite how much I think about touching her. I could stare at her back all day. She could ignore me for the rest of my life and I’d still be happy to be in her presence. Mental note to all of you: do NOT let your feelings get to this point.

Soon we’re on the plane and she chooses to sit next me. I silently celebrate. Sunoo and Sungoon behind us, Heeseung and Niki next to us, and Jay and Jungwon in front of us. Sunoo pokes his head over her seat.

“Do you have chapstick I can borrow.” he asks with his blonde hair flopping over his forehead. 

She digs into her bag and hands him a small tin of lip balm.

“Thank you!” he says and she nods. 

“Are you that tired?” I ask her.

“Mhm,” she sighs and shuts her eyes. “I forgot to drink coffee this morning.”

I put in my AirPods and start to watch Lady Bird. She looks over and takes an AirPods out of my ear. 

“I wanna watch too.” she say and puts it in her own. 

We take off for the six hour trip and soon Y/N is sound asleep. Her head kept dropping forward so I pushed it up and pulled it to rest on my shoulder. This was not on purpose. I can’t help but snap a picture of her and add it to the good pictures of her album. She looks so peaceful and comfortable and gorgeous. I lay my head on hers for a moment before continuing the movie. 

Y/N’s POV

After two hours of unsatisfying sleep, and hour of gossip with Sunoo, and three hours of chit chat with Jake you finally arrive. You sit up and stretch as best as you can in the plane. You pull you backpack onto my back and get you luggage down from the overhead bin. It’s already five p.m. when we get off and your stomach is growling. 

We take another bus to the hotel and you can’t help but admire the city life as we drive there. 

You’re roomed with two other girls at the hotel but you don’t even bother unpacking. You know you’re gonna be in the boys’ room anyway.

Mrs. Gilroy gave us tonight to do whatever we wanted as long as we were back at the hotel by ten p.m. 

You sneak into Jake, Jay, and Sunghoon’s room as soon as you can. And when you get there, it’s already a mess.

“Good lord.” you say as you’re met with clothes all over the floor and mini bottles of liquor on the beds.

“You guys are drunk already?” you scrunch your nose and drop your stuff in a corner of the room.

“No.” Sunghoon says to you lazily with a little smirk on his face. You can’t help but giggle. Sunghoon is pretty adorable when he’s drunk. 

“Are you drunk too?” you turn to Jake and he shakes his head. His pink cheeks give him away though. “You’re all bad liars.”

“Lets go swim.” he says excitedly. 

“There’s a pool? I didn’t bring a swim suit.” you say, bummed.

“Can we go later, I’m hungry.” Jay says and you agree.

“Me too.” 

Jake tugs at your arm. “Come on~ we can order room service or ask Jay to get us something.”

“We can get you guys something.” Sunghoon says, pulling a hoodie over his head. 

“Please?” Jake looks at you with shiny eyes. He’s and adorable drunk too.

You purse your lips and sigh. “Fine. But I don’t have anything to wear.”

“Just wear shorts and a shirt.” Jake says as he tugs his swim trunks out of his suit case.

“I didn’t bring shorts because you said it was gonna be cold.” you complain, crossing your arms. 

“Uhm,” he stops for a moment. “you can wear my boxers then.”

You raise your eyebrows. “Huh?”

“What?” he looks at you. “They’re basically shorts. And they’re clean.”

You hesitate but then comply as always. He tosses you a pair of black Calvins.

You steal one of Jay’s shirts and make your way into the bathroom to change. You’re wearing a simple cotton bralette which should be fine for the pool. You bundle up the rest of your old clothes and stick them behind your backpack before heading out with Jake. 

The pool is empty and huge and is only light by the lights inside. 

“It’s so cold.” you rub at your arms as Jake sets your towels down at a seat.

“I’m sure the pool is heated.” he says and dips a toe in. “Yeah, it’s warm.” Before you can even reply, he tugs his shirt off and canon balls in. You turn your face to avoid getting splashed.

“How is it?” you call out as he emerges from the water. He shakes his hair around like a dog. 

“It’s warm so come in, you look funny standing there.” he teases and you roll your eyes. You kick your sneakers off and try to make a peaceful jump in but you didn’t realize you were in the deep end. It takes you a moment to get your senses together and swim to the surface.

“Why is it deep?” you say, a bit out of breath. 

Jake giggles at you. “Remember when we used to play and you were the mermaid and I was the-”

“Turtle companion.” you finish his sentence. “Yes, as clear as day.”

“Why couldn't I be a mermaid too? Why was a I a lame turtle.” he fusses.

“I’m sorry okay?” you laugh. “I was a mean child.”

“Yeah you were. I’ll never forgive you for shoving that clump of dirt in my mouth.” 

You burst out laughing, flailing your arms in the water to try to stay afloat. “You deserved it!”

“I did not!” he protests. 

“You cheated in handball! It was one hundred percent deserved.” you say, swimming over to him.

“I barely cheated!” he calls out, starting to swim away from you.

“Barely? I would’ve won and been champion of our grade if you hand’t pulled that shit!” you say, still laughing and swimming after him.

“Why are you chasing me?” he says while hopping around the pool where he can touch the ground.

“So I can shove another clump of dirt in your mouth.” you try your best to get him but your heavy cotton shirt is holding you back. You don’t let it stop you though. 

You finally get to him and tug his arm. He yells as you push him underwater. He finds the ground though, and shoots up soon after. 

“Are you trying to drown me?” he looks at you, astonished but giggly. 

“Maybe.” you shrug before tackling him again. It had been a while since you two wrestled like this. 

You’ve got him under water for a bit until he finds your rib cage and plunges you in. It’s hard to hold your breath while you’re laughing. You feel around for him and pinch his thigh only semi hard. He lets you go after that. 

“I won!” you celebrate with your fists in the air.

“You used pain, that isn't fair.” he rubs at the area that you pinched. 

“Don’t be a sore loser. I won fair and square.” you cross your arms.  “Fine.” he admits his defeat. “that pinch hurt though, come kiss it better.”

Your face twists. “Nuh uh.” you say plainly. 

“Please?” he asks. “I will drown myself right now.” You laugh at him. 

“I will do it!” he insists.

“Okay, okay! I’m not to going to kiss your leg you weirdo but I’ll give you a hug.” you float over to him and wrap your arms around his shoulders. “I even pinched you lighter than I normally would.”

“I’m sensitive.” he says into your neck and you giggle. 

His arms feel so right around your waist and you struggle to decide when to let go, so you just don’t, and neither does he. He holds you decently tight and you feel him pat your back. 

You’ve hugged plenty of times before but it felt a little different this time. Probably because you’re pressed up against his bare skin. It makes you feel a bit sheepish. 

You pull away from him. “Feel better now?” 

He nods with a smile. His cheeks are pink, but this time it’s not from the liquor. 

Jake’s POV

I can’t help but feel disappointed when she lets go of me. 

I shouldn’t have patted her back that's a dad thing to do. 

Her makeup has started to run down her face which makes me giggle.

“What?” she asks.

“Your mascara is making you look crazy.” I say and her hands fly to her face.

“Shit I forgot I had it on.” she attempts to wipe it away but all it does is smear it across her face. 

“Here,” I say and float over to her. “I’ll help you.” this was not on purpose.

I hold her face as gently as I can in my hands and rub the runny mascara off with my thumbs. I dip my fingers into the water to get all of the bits off. 

I want to kiss her so badly, but I know that I’ll never do it. Sometimes I get irritated at myself for not being able to confess. I think Jay and Sunghoon get irritated about it too. 

“You talk about her all the time man just ask her out.”

I don't know why I can’t do it. If she rejects me she’ll do it nicely and things would go back to normal pretty soon. But I don’t think I could live knowing that my feelings would never be reciprocated. Sometimes I get a feeling that she likes me too but I can never be too sure. 

“All gone.” I say and she thanks me. 

She lets her self float on her back. She has a small smile on her face and she’s so pretty I could cry. There have been multiple times where I nearly cried over how much I like her.

“What are your thinking about?” I ask.

“You know I never know how to answer that.” she bleats. “My mind always goes blank when you ask.”

“Well try to remember what you were thinking about then.” 

“Us.” she says plainly.  “Us?” I questioned. “What about us?” “I don’t know, just how I met you guys and how happy I am to be friends with you all.” she says. 

Oh. She meant all of us. 

“Yeah me too.” I agree, trying not to sound down. “Who’s your favorite?”

She snorts. “I don’t have a favorite.”

“Of course you do,” I say. “and it better be me.”

“Why would it be you?” she jeers. 

I frown. “Because we met first.”

“I’m kidding, of course you’re my favorite.” she admits.

“And why is that?” I egg her on and she rolls her eyes. 

“Because we met first.”

I sigh. “Is that all?”

“Mhm.” she says. 

Y/N’s POV

You’re met with InNOut that Sunghoon and Jay got and also a room full of teenage boys. The younger ones were laying on their stomachs on a bed together, watching something on a laptop. Sunghoon and Jay were trying to watch t.v. You say trying because of the furious clicking on the remote. 

“What the hell are you guys trying to do?” you and Jake plop onto the one empty bed.

“Trying to find the porn.” Jay grumbles.

“Infront of the children?” you look over at the younger ones.

“They don’t care they’re watching YouTube.” he says, still clicking. 

You take a bite of your burger. “You have an endless arena of porn on your phone why do you want the t.v. one?”

“The t.v. makes it special.” Sunghoon says. 

“Weird.” you mutter to yourself.  “They’re probably gonna make you pay for it too.” Jake chimes in. 

“Do you think it’ll go to the school’s credit card or whatever?” Jay asks with wide eyes.

“I don't know but if it does they’ll know it’s from our room.” he says through a full mouth. 

You grab pajamas out of your bag and head to the bathroom to shower. 

You come out feeling fresh and the younger ones have gone back to their room now. 

“My turn,” Jake says, walking into the bathroom. 

You sit next to Sunghoon on his bed and start scrolling through your phone. 

“Should I get this sweater or this one.” he holds his phone up to you and shows you light blue sweater and a black one.

“Second one.” you say.

“Really?” he questions. “I feel like it’ll make me look emo.”

“You should become emo honestly. It would look good.” you reply and he chuckles. 

“You’d have to help me with my eyeliner every morning.”

“Yeah,” you giggle “wait can I do it right now? I wanna see how you’d look.”

“Right now?” he cocks a brow and you nod. “Okay but don’t give me raccoon eyes.”

“I won’t I won’t.” you rush over to your bag and bring your make clutch to the bed. 

“Hold still.” you tell him as you give him smokey winged liner.

“It tickles.” he says, trying not to blink too much.

“Beauty is pain.” you clean up the wing with your nail. 

In a couple minutes you’re done. “Finished." you say.

“Lemme see.” he grabs a hand mirror from your clutch and holds it up to his face. “Hold on. This looks kinda good.”

“Right?” you had to admit it; he looked gorgeous.

“Why are you so pretty?” Jay says from his bed. 

Soon Jake came out of the shower and it was hard to deny how good looking he is especially with his damp hair. How could someone make a t-shirt and sweats look so good? He dumps his laundry by his bag. 

“Does Sunghoon have makeup on?” he asks, settling onto his bed.

“Yeah doesn’t it looks nice?” you ask and he agrees. 

“Y/N are you gonna sleep here or in your room.” Jay asks.

“I thought I would just sleep on the floor here.” you suggest and he furrows his brows. 

“No that’s mean. Share a bed with someone.”

“You should sleep with Jake.” Sunghoon elbows you in the side and you shoot him a dirty look. “We all know he wants you to anyway.”

“Fuck off Sunghoon.” Jake looks over at him with a piercing stare, a contrast to his pink cheeks. 

“Is it okay if I do?” you ask him and he nods.

“Yeah for sure.”

Sunghoon snickers. 

“I hate you.” Jake scowls. 

After a couple hours of watching movies and horsing around it’s nearly midnight and your eyes are getting heavy. 

You crawl under the covers and scroll on your phone a bit before trying to sleep. Despite how tired you are it’s hard to sleep with the boys chatting and snickering to each other. 

“Can you guys quiet down?” you ask them.

“Sorry.” Jay says. 

After maybe an hour of sleep, you feel someone get on the bed. Probably Jake, you think to yourself. His little sighs as he gets comfortable are cute. 

“You awake?” he whispers. 

“Mm?” you turn on your side to face him. “Yeah.”

“Cool.” he says. The room is dark but the moonlight helps you make out the outline of his face. 

‘What’s up?” you ask.

“Nothin.” he says and you giggle.

“Okay weirdo. Go to bed.” you close your eyes, stilling facing him though. 

“I’m not tired.” he says.

“Count sheep.”

“That never works for me.” he sighs. “Sing me to sleep.”

You try to slap him in the arm but you end up hitting his face. “Oh shit sorry!”

“Ow!” he whines. “Why do you keep hurting me?”

“It was an accident!” you whisper and rub at his cheek a bit. 

“Now I actually deserve a hug.” he pouts and you roll your eyes.

“You are not five years old.”

“I still want the hug.” he says plainly and you sigh.

“Fine.” you scooch over to him and pull him into your chest. You pat his back. “There there. Better now?”

He shakes his head. “It still hurts.”

“You’re embarrassing yourself.” you scoff. 

“I have no shame when it comes to your affection, you should know that by now.” he smiles.

You feel his arm fall over your waist and his hand slide up your back. It gives you goosebumps.

You’re cuddling with him. You guys are cuddling right now. You think to yourself. No you’re not, you’re just...hugging. Right?

Jake pulls away to look at you. “I need to tell you something.”

“Are you gonna say your mom again?” you ask and he shakes his head. 

“No,” he says giggling. “it’s something for real.” 

“Okay what is it?”

He takes a sharp inhale. “I like you.” he winces. 

Your heart jumps a bit. “I know.”

“What?” he laughs.  “You’re very obvious about it.” you chuckle.  “Are you rejecting me?” he asks and you shake your head. 

“I would never.” you pull him in by the back of neck and push your lips against his.

[atiredlilwhore]

Shit about me

I’m 29

She/her

I’m a sub (i like to lie and say I’m a switch, but honestly i only feel like domming at 3 in the morning when I’m drunk)

I’m single

Pan/bi sexual

I like to read, binge YouTube/anime/Criminal Minds, and horror video games

Anything else y’all can just ask about

Pet names are okay unless i ask not to be called something

DNI

Under 18 (actually i prefer you to be 21 to interact but please at least be 18 viewing my page)

Homophobic or transphobic

Racist, sexist, or any of the other -ist

Are a generally awful person

Wont respect me or the blogs i interact with

Mainly post/reblog scat play, animal play (outside of being called puppy (thin ice) or kitten/bunny (preferred), incest, r*pe play, race play

No age in bio or pinned post instant block

Anti-sex work(ers)

Main rules for the blog

I, more likely than not, don’t wanna be your sub or see your dick (unless i ask)

I like other adults are often very busy so i may go “missing” for periods of time.

I will attempt to post personal pictures but that’s not a guarantee since tumblr likes to ban those kind of profiles first (if i do they’ll be tagged some kind of way)

For my men out there, i often reblog from wlw or nblw or any other variations of those blogs. If they have do not interact on their posts/pictures don’t be a dick and interact with them just because I reblogged them. That’s stupid

We are adults so i wish i didn’t have to say this but be respectful to not only myself but the people i reblog from.

Because this is a side blog I’m limited in what i can do. But that’s what a main blog is for, isn’t it?

For personal posts they’ll be tagged tired thoughts

My (direct) messages are off, but feel free to submit an ask to me (i don’t wanna sext or see your pictures unless we are mutuals and i regularly interact with your blog)

Realized i didn’t post any kinks (or potential triggers)… silly ole me

CNC/Somno (with partners that I have extended conversations about this with and that i trust and love)

Pet play (see above mention of animal play)

Bondage (see first point)

Orgasm denial/forced orgasm

Dumbification

Public sex

Humiliation/people being mean to me

Breeding kink (while i do have a breeding kink I DO NOT wanna talk to y’all about getting pregnant, rather it’s sexual or not idc)