#i’m not home rn i’ve been out of state for like almost 2 weeks

[lyriumsings]

proing and conning making an IF and it’s like

pros: it’s content that caters to my interests that i wanna see, i can find other people who also like those things, as a long term goal it would be good for me to consistently work on a project im passionate about, i just want more friends 🥹

cons: most of my ros will probably be bipoc and therefore they will probably be: whitewashed, villainized, overly sexualized no matter the context etc, the IF community can be entitled, ngl it can also just be super white

the biggest pro: IM delusional and believe i’m never wrong esp when it comes to my opinions on my characters and world building so good luck to anyone who tries to make me feel anything other than that in terms of baseless accusations/demands

almost forgot the biggest con: coding lmaooo

[prisonhannibal]

don’t reblog

so I have a virus right, got sick enough to have to see a doctor and get sick leave from work, and being home and sober for a couple days made me realize that I’m for sure some kinda hypomanic because I, while super sick, have been up for 36 hours. drew for 12 hours straight. spent over an hour looking at a picture of hannibal’s book shelf to try to make out the titles and find out the author and when it was published and then sort them by genre so I could send the list in a discord server. why did I spend my time on that? who knows who knows. I didn’t even realize because i’ve been either at work, drunk, or drunk after work every single day for around 3 weeks so I haven’t like. evaluated my mental state. but maybe the fact that I went from drinking like once a week to straight up daily for 21 days should have been a warning sign like people don’t usually…do that? wasn’t even a gradual thing I just went out for beer one day and then didn’t stop. and I got a huge tattoo when I was planning a small one. my tattoo artist suggested making it bigger and I was like fuck it alright let’s just do my whole forearm on the other arm. I love the tattoo but damn I didn’t think that through I just said yeah immediately. anyway imagine my power rn if I wasn’t super sick. I spent 6 hours working on drawing ONE window. kept redoing it and making new designs and redoing it and redoing it. should’ve made the connection when I’d been up for 45 hours, and when I finished my 10 hour long shift I went out to drink instead of going home to sleep. I thought I was too tired to be hypomanic but I forgot to account for the fact that I work 8-11 hour shifts almost daily. I did 20 days with like 2-3 days off recently. but I am functional on no sleep I’m just a bit tired and I was like could a hypomanic person do THIS????? is slightly tired

[di0rdevil]

Affirming Success Story Compilation by moi 💋✨

these are some results I’ve gotten over the past few months of 2022 ✨

1.”Payday”

at my workplace the times we get our checks is every two weeks like normal. I wanted to get my paycheck a whole week earlier bc y’all know I’m impatient with money and want to see that bank rack up 😌

but all jokes aside, I kept affirming to myself that “oh I don’t need to worry, I’m gonna get paid tomorrow anyway” or “I’m getting paid tomorrow I’m so excited “ things like that I kept telling myself. I got home from work on Friday and checked my account, I did indeed get paid a whole week early and to make things even better, they’re changing our paydays so we get paid every week instead of every two weeks!

🌱 ｡.｡:∞♡*🌱｡.｡:∞♡*🌱

2. “Rona”

ok so this one is abt to sound mad stupid but hear me out 💀

So around the last month nd a half of school and a few assignments were coming up in two of my classes which were a five minute presentation and an essay presentation. Now me, I don’t like public speaking and wanted any way out of doing the public speaking portion. Around state testing time I noticed I started to feel a bit sick and decided to call out sick and go home after I took my states math exam. My mom was worried sick that I might have the Rona so she tested me and it came out negative. Me thinking “oh if I do end up having rona I could stay out of school for longer to buy some time”. And that is sorta what I did, I affirmed for less than two minutes saying to myself “the rona test will come out positive “ and the morning that I had to go back to school my mom tested me again and it came faintly positive which shocks me sm because what the actual hell. I didn’t feel sick but I was so gassed that I got to stay home for like four days. (The sleep I got was heavenly). I did get my presentation pushed back for one class though so it was worth it, I had more time to prepare!

🌱 ｡.｡:∞♡*🌱｡.｡:∞♡*🌱

3. “Bomb bomb bakudan”

this title sounds stupid af if you don’t play Genshin Impact but again, hear me out.

For you genshin impact players, the Kazuha and Klee banner dropped about two days ago. I’ve wanted to pull for Klee since last year’s golden apple archipelago event but instead I got a Diluc which I coped with for an entire year. I affirmed to myself two days ago “watch this, I’m gonna get Klee in this pull” (mind you it was a single pull) and I got her off of no pity. Last patch I got venti via pity so it’s impossible for me to be capping rn. A SINGLE PULL, I was in such disbelief. If you look at my older posts I mentioned I did the same thing to intentionally pull a Jean on standard banner.

🌱 ｡.｡:∞♡*🌱｡.｡:∞♡*🌱

4. “The pretty friend”

So this is sorta a result that’s been going on for the entire year so it’s not really new to me anymore.

I’ve always felt like the ugly friend in my past friend groups, being the one that sticks out. I was heavier than my peers (being blonde yt girls, there’s no problem with them being yt it’s just that comparing yourself when you’re a completely different race is wild) and looked completely different than them. I felt completely inferior, like I was lesser. I was never persued, never got attention and was the “other side of the sidewalk” friend when it came to what I like to call “pretty politics”. This past year I moved and consistently listened to my playlists, affirmed and obviously tried to better myself by working out and treating myself better. When I tell you the whiplash I got when I entered the campus was incredible, like I had ppl left and right calling me pretty almost treating me like a celebrity?? Like boys my type actually talk to me now, that never happened before. I won’t say I’m of it-girl status yet but that’s what this account is for anyway, tracking my progress! Anyway I was coined “the pretty friend” by my peers and being a dark skinned African American girl, sometimes you find that hard to believe because of what you’ve been told since like elementary school. I’ve been told that I should model, many people believe I should even though I’m like 5’6 but that’s not the point. (Like I’m deadass a girl stopped me in the hallway and asked me to take a picture with her WHEN I WAS WEARING A MASK) It’s the confidence I gained after affirming myself and people confirming my affirmations for me that reflected this all into my reality. If you told me like two years ago that I’d be like this I would fr laugh at you, but what can I say. I’m just that girl now 🎀 *and being that girl I’m gonna bag a bf just as easy as 1..2..3..Here’s my old playlist so y’all can use it as reference bc it works SO WELL ( I used it from Jan 2022 to may 2022)

*I’m gonna update y’all on that I promise 🫡

[random-mha-thoughts]

Baby (Bakugou x Reader)

Pairing: Bakugou x Reader

Anon requested: “Hiii!! I jus wanna say ur writing is one of the best I've read so far (and I've read a lot). It's been a while since I've read a oneshot that made me feel tingles (u know why I mean right, it's hard to explain 😅) anyway jus wanna say I love ur writing!! Also, if u don't mind I'd like to request a fluff with bakugou where he gets his wisdom teeth removed and he just becomes the softest thing everrrrr! :) if ur not taking requests rn I dont mind if u skip this one. Adios ;)"

Thanks for the kind words and the request anon! I hope you like it~

Genre: Floof. Pure, plotless floof

Word count: 973

Tags:  @yuki-osaki @liviitehe @iamsoftsodonttoucheume-blog @bunnythepipsqueak

a/n: Today was tiring as hell. I got up at 7:30 to study for my exam at 1 pm and I had a 2 hour lecture to go over after that.  I feel like I was studying for a good 10 hours today alone and I was already tired this entire week.  And it's only Wednesday... Which is why I couldn't wait to write this! I was in dire need of some plain, quick, simple, plotless floof, so I’m happy I had this request to fill next.  I hope you guys out there are in a good mental state as the semester is wrapping up, and if not I hope this cheered you up a bit!

Also (I’m a few days late but still) Ramadan Mubarak to my muslim readers/followers!  I wish you an easy fast, willpower, and spirituality in the following month. You got this!  I’ll also try to include NSFR warnings if anyone wants? I know swearing and spicy stuff aren’t allowed, but I’m not 100% sure about the fluffy stuff so let me know!

"This way, Katsuki, let's go."  I gently pull my boyfriend down the street, capturing his arm in mine to balance his wobbly gait.

He mumbles something incoherent and leans into me.  "We going home now?"

"Yup, I already picked up your medication.  Are you keeping that ice pack on your face?"

"Yeeees," he groans.  Katsuki usually hates it when I mother him, but today he really needed it.  Poor guy was scared of having his wisdom teeth removed and didn't trust anyone else to accompany him.  It's kind of endearing, especially since he's become such a giant, clumsy mess now.  "You're becoming my mom."

"Well, you are acting like a lost child right now, who else is gonna take care of you?"  I squeeze his hand reassuringly.

He hums in response before leaning onto me, "I guess I'm really lucky then."  Removing the ice pack, he pokes his cheek.  "Can you kiss it better?"

I blink, completely floored by his request.  I know the anesthesia has its effects on people, but it seems it makes Katsuki way more soft and needy than usual.

Not that I'm complaining.

I stand on my toes and peck his cold cheek.  "Is it better now?"

"Mmm, I'll probably need another dose in an hour," he encircles both of his arms around one of mine, "I'll let you know how the pain is."

Gosh, he's just gonna be adorable for the rest of the day, isn't he?   "Should I drop you home or do you want to rest at my place?"

Katsuki's arms crawl over to envelop my torso from behind.  "Your place, of course," he half giggles, his breath tickling my ear.

I chuckle at his behavior, directing us towards the nearest station.  I'm definitely gonna enjoy this.  A small part of me almost wants to record him, but I'd rather just enjoy these few moments I have of him acting this way.  I'm too nice to embarrass him like that.

Since it's the middle of the day during the week, the station and the train seats are mostly empty.  Katsuki gets comfortable, sprawling his legs across the cold bench and resting his head on my lap.  He keeps one of his hands messily entwined with mine and lets me use my free hand to play with his hair.  I gaze down at him, smiling to myself.  Katsuki being soft and lovable like this is a once in a lifetime opportunity.  Of course I know he loves me already, but to see him without the whole harsh persona is definitely something else.  The blooming warmth stirs me to press a soft kiss on his forehead.  My little Katsu.

He opens his eyes to stare up at me, asking out of the blue, "Do I look or sound weird?"

The childish innocence he asks the question with makes me chuckle.  "Not at all, babe."

His crimson orbs continue boring into mine for a moment, just holding my attention, before he reaches up and brings my head down to kiss his lips.  The motion takes me by surprise since he's not the type to take PDA this far in public.  The heat rushes to my cheeks, and I'm eternally grateful that this car is almost empty, and the few people here with us are busy fiddling with their phones.

"You missed, dummy," Katsuki beams before closing his eyes again.

My heart thumps.  He's so adorable sometimes.  His toothy smile was just the right amount of cute and loving, the rarest smile I've seen only once before.  I want to melt into a puddle and pinch his cheeks

You big dork.  I continue threading my fingers into his hair, the rattling of the train relaxing the tired boy.

.

Once we arrive at my apartment, Katsuki shrugs out of his jacket and shoes and situates himself under my kotatsu, not even bothering to turn it on; he just grabbed one of the long cushions, stuck it under his body, and knocked himself onto his side.  As I'm still removing my outer clothes, he reaches one arm out and makes grabbing motions.  "Babe, come lay with me," he practically whines out.

Is he pouting?  I want to laugh at his needy behavior, but I'll admit I want to cuddle with him too.  After the procedure he's been through and the pain he's going to experience in the next few days, he deserves all the hugs he wants.  Who am I to deny him?  I plug the wire in and turn the switch on before lifting the blanket up and squirming underneath.  Without wasting any time, Katsuki pulls my body flush into his chest, wiggling both of us farther underneath.

The needy boy lets out a satisfied sigh as the blanket starts heating up.  His head pulls back to look down at me, hooded scarlet eyes trying not to close as they brim with affection.  "You're my favorite."  His thumb at my cheek softly rubs at my skin.

I close my eyes and nuzzle his hand.  "Your favorite what?"

"Anything and everything."  He plants a kiss on top of my head.  "You're just my favorite thing."

Despite the fresh wave of warm tingles humming through me, I tease him, "So I'm a thing now?"

Instead of groaning like he would under normal circumstances, he crushes me closer to his body.  "Yeah, you're my teddy bear now, and you're not going anywhere for the rest of the day."

"But what if it gets really hot under here, Katsu?"

"Nope, you're still staying," he shakes his head like a stubborn kid, his voice already drooping into sleep before he yawns.  "You have to cuddle all my pain away."

As if I need a reason to cuddle you all day, silly.  My hand pats his back in a steady rhythm.  "Whatever you say, my baby Katsu."

[jinbestboy]

☁️thirty questions tag game☁️

tagged by // @jimindelune and @hazeltae thank you both so much i loved reading all your answers and have decided i’m in love with you both // answers under the cut bc she’s a long one

name/nickname: my full name is emma but i almost exclusively go by em unless i’m in trouble

star sign: taurus 🥰

hight: 6’2” someone call jack i think i’m his missing beanstalk

birthday: april 29 ‘98

favorite band: i mean…….. there’s the obvious answer, but outside of the kpop world id say state champs neck deep and say anything

time: 9pm ish

favorite solo artist: kpop solo is hands down IU she is out of this world, non kpop is hobo johnson

song stuck in your head: all in my head by hobo johnson (ive been really in the feels with him lately)

last movie you watched: it was still when i saw in the hights with @vantehobi i don’t watch movies :/

free space: i hope everyone had a good week last week! i’m gonna try and be more active on here again last week was so crazy with getting to see julie again and then being sad about not seeing julie anymore the whole rest of the week, anyways i missed you all love love muah. oh also this took me literally 2 days to finish why am i like this

last show: i’m watching this series on peacock with my mom called escape to the chateau and it’s ab this british couple who buy a disheveled and worn down 5 story french chateau and renovate it to live in/use for weddings and i love it sm. and as always i have parks or the office on at any given moment

when i created this blog: i’ve had it since 2015 on and off but i swapped over to a bangtan blog fully around october of last year

what i post: an absolutely nonsensical stream of consciousness in the tags of posts made by people who actually contribute to this hellsite

last thing i googled: color dropper online for the 10495903 time because i changed my theme 3 times in a day

other blogs: i keep saying i’m gonna make a girl group blog but i cant even get myself to be on this one as much as i want to be

do i get asks?: every now and then i get one from a mutual but i’m pretty sure mobile tumblr eats like at least 75% of the asks i get because i always get notifications for asks but then i go to my asks and nothing new is there it’s very frustrating so sorry if you send me an ask and it goes unanswered i probably didn’t get it at all i’m so sorry

why did i chose my url?: because kim seokjin is the absolute bestest boy and i think it’s about time that fact is publicly recognized

following?: idk like 460 something?

followers?: yes i love them 🤲🏼

average hours of sleep: fortunately i don’t start work until noon every day so i can stay up until 3 am and still get 7/8 hours of sleep which really works out. sometimes i only get 4 though bc ✌🏻🤪✌🏻

lucky number: mmmmmmm yeah no not a concept i think i can get behind anymore

instruments: i can play the ukulele! and i really wanna learn the drums and the piano but both are time consuming and expensive

what am i wearing?: a tube top and sweatpants and my knock off mic drop socks that just say mic on both sides :)

dream job?: doing what yoongi actually applied to big hit for

favorite food: this changes by the week but i’ll eat about anything with pasta or peach flavoring. also dumplings.

tea or coffee: water please 🥰🥰

nationality: unfortunately i am all american

favorite song: no no, no. i have favorite songS that are all very important to me for different reasons i can’t get myself to explain rn but atm the toppers are 28 and spring day ALWAYS, epiphany, paradise, 134340, home, serendipity, cry for me and also likey by twice, romeo and juliet and also mover awayer and also all in my head by hobo johnson, all you are is history by state champs, and the entirety of …Is a Real Boy by say anything. all of these tend to sit at the top of the list generally but by no means are all my favorites. how dare i be asked to pick a favorite ugh

last book i read: i don’t remember the last time i had the motivation to read thats so upsetting but i always recommend I’ll Give You the Sun by jandy nelson

top three virtual universes you’d want to live in: gonna just let my full weeb out on this one so bear with me; the house they move to in my neighbor totoro is my ultimate dream in life, soul eater so i can be best friends with black star, and kill la kill because i like girls thank you

tagging // @mykrokosmos @yoongisshadow @ccypher3 @sugacutie @jaehyukkies @cowboyjinbop @taejinnies @bibillyhillsbaby @strawberryjimi @rmftjin @stardustyoongi @ftyoongi @flowerkth @floraljimin and also @vantehobi even though i know you won’t do it and it’s fine i just can’t not tag you ok love you most muah

[btssavedmylifeblr]

I forgot to send on my voting story. Ok so my brother and I both got mail in ballots, and let me tell you how we both forgot to mail it in so we just thought to bring them to our voting location. The lady there kinda yelled at us? She was confused and didn't know how to go about it. And honestly I just took it because we were the idiots who didn't mail in our ballots. We had to rip them up and they just us new ones to fill out in person and submit. Not exciting, but a story for void snippet. 👀

Anonymous said: Hi!! I'm so excited for void! I voted today around 30 minutes before the polls closed in my neighborhood because I had to wait for my dad and brother to get home from work since they wanted to go all together hehe. It was a pretty fast process! We just pressed buttons on screens (compared to last election where we had to bubble in everything by hand) plus, I got to keep the stylus that they gave us and it works on phones too! 🥰🥰 Thank you! I love your writing so much 💜💜💜

Anonymous said: I did mine through mail me and my husband did and we went to the post office a little while back and then he took us on a nice little date afterward and we got ice cream! Also I love void💖 keep up the good work

Anonymous said: VOTES FOR VOID??? I love democracy and I love VOID! So since May I've (temporarily) moved back home from New York to Indiana RE: covid; I've voted absentee for the both the primaries and presidential election (I'm still in IN rn...blah). I voted early and mailed in my ballot for the presidential election (about 3 weeks ago). Made sure my family was voting (brother mailed it in, mom dropped off a ballot, and dad did early voting) and encourage them to put up a Biden sign in our yard <3

Anonymous said: HI BEE! I ALSO VOTED TODAY! IM 21 SO THIS IS MY FIRST TIME VOTING FOR THE PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION (my 18th bday didnt make the cutoff since im a december bday) im so happy to have done my part! I made sure to study up on the judges and policies and everything! Luckily the polling place didn't have a line so i was able to get in, get my ballot, and fill it in right away! I even dragged my mom and cousin to come with me. I made a joke on snapchat to encourage my friends to vote too. It was a pic of my "i voted" sticker with a caption saying "omg youre so sexy when you vote aHaha" -🦙

Anonymous said: this is my first time doing this so, so i hope i’m sending this correctly! i voted early in late september by mail! i live in a swing state, so it’s really important for me to vote and not waste time!! bc of my age, this is my first time voting so i’m really nervous 😅

Anonymous said: I voted by email! I'm overseas so I wasn't sure if my ballot would actually make it through in time, so I decided to go electronically. Had to sign a waiver saying I understand that my vote won't be anonymous but I haven't been given a reason to suspect voter suppression/fraud in my state, so I'm happy I think...!

Anonymous said: hi, i voted early on oct 24th. my absentee ballot didn't come in, so i had to travel back home to vote (~3 hour drive). when we got there, there was a ton of people outside the polling place, but no lines, so i was in and out pretty quick. it was my first time voting, so i had all the candidates i was voting for written down on a tiny receipt so i wouldn't forget 😅. my mom was with me, so she voted too. took a pic with my sticker (mask on for extra covid-ness) and went home. drove back the next afternoon!

whippedforkook said: Hi Bee. 💕 I voted in early October - nearly a month ago! 😱 It’s been really weird with all the lead up to the election because it felt like it should have been done once I cast my ballot! A lot of my friends have volunteered to get out the vote: writing postcards to voters, texting, phone banking, working the polls, curing ballots. I didn’t volunteer at all this year, but I hope that all of my friends’ hard work and everyone else’s is enough. I’m also hoping and praying that I will be in a better place mentally for 2022 so that I too can volunteer. Our work starts with 2020 not ends. 💕 Wishing you well. 💕

begineuphoria said: I went and voted last Friday as it was our last early voting day. No way was I going to wait until today with the crowds of people in my area that still act as if masks are somehow infringing on their rights. 🙄 It was a rather normal experience for the most part. Other than having to use a coffee stir stick to press the buttons on the machine to vote. In and out within five minutes.

Anonymous said: I voted down the street at this pretty park this morning. I got up at 5:30 and it was freezing. Luckily I wore like 30 layers and stood outside for 2 hours. Some nasty orange man supporters were rude but everyone else was pretty nice. A really cute older couple was playing soccer with pine cones and kicked it towards me to play too. Not the worst time tbh.

Anonymous said: Did mail-in voting in California! Extremely exhausting and took forever to research all the propositions - they are notoriously tricky in hiding their flaws and one side tends to outrageously outspend the other. But in the end I felt really good about my research and decisions! No need for you to post a snippet for this story - would like to save that to read sometime in the future ;) Thank you so much for doing this!

joonsgotthejuice said: Votes for void??? I am here! I went last Thursday and it was chaotic bc I kept going past the poll place but the line was soooo long so my mom called me and woke me up like "its pouring rain and the line is super short get up I'm gonna pick you up" so thats the story of how I got dressed in 5 minutes and dragged my ass to vote in the rain <3

Anonymous said: i voted early on thursday it was cold and rainy but i went in the late afternoon and thankfully the only waiting i did was a few minutes for an elevator i got very lucky and while waiting for the results is awful the relief that came from voting in general was just great

Anonymous said: Wheeew the polls just closed and I finally got to cast my ballot yayyy ( I was the one working the polls from earlier) it’s been a really really long day and we actually had surprisingly good turnout. I saw a woman try to vote for someone else who claimed to be “helping” and I saw a woman who I’m pretty sure was on some typa something 👀 Overall though I really I’m really thankful for people like you who encouraged people to get out and vote. I hope the odds are in our favor❤️🤞🏼

chelsea-chee said: Hello Bee! Today surprisingly my elderly father wanted to vote so I brought him out with me. He only cared about voting for Biden, which meant I got to help decide who he should vote for with the rest of the candidates and amendments! Say hello to baby bee for me as well! 💖

Anonymous said: Okay I gonna got a chance to vote today and the process wasn’t that bad actually. I went in just now and it wasn’t that busy( thankfully) so no lines. I’m from Texas and it’s gonna be almost impossible to turn this state blue, but every vote counts! I love that you are getting people to vote and also sharing your experiences as well!

owl-orgy said: Dropped off my mail in ballot at a polling location! I originally wanted to vote early in person because I was worried my signature wouldn’t match closely enough but ended up just turning it in and double checked today to make it said “ballot accepted and counted”!

Anonymous said: I voted in person this afternoon, better late than never I guess. I was gonna go last week but then I got cramps from hell. There was no one in line in front of me, I think my county early voted because it was packed everyday the last few weeks

Anonymous said: I voted early a couple weeks ago. Exciting thing though that did happen was I got both my parents to vote for their first time ever.

Anonymous said: I had a mail in vote. So, I filled it out and dropped it in at the ballot box at my library. (I also checked out books for the first time in years, so I had fun!)

bubblyjiminnie said: I literally just finished voting. Lucky for me, the line and wait wasn’t very long, and it was a nice enough day that the short amount of time I had to spend in line outside of the building wasn’t too bad. My social anxiety when it comes to stuff like this tends to be high but that’s what I get for waiting until Election Day instead of going the mail in route. This was only my second time voting, but I’m glad that I did 😊

Anonymous said: I turned my ballot in last week :) I’m not a big fan of crowds and I hate make spur of the moment choices but despite that the first time I was able to vote back in 08 my Mom pressured me into voting in person because “you’d have to experience it at least once in our life”. And ever since then I comfortably vote by mail. I take my time, do all of my research, listen to music, and best of all don’t have to deal with people.

Anonymous said: here in Washington state it’s super easy to vote. I dropped my ballot off in mid-October and it’s already been accounted for! Mail in voting and drop box voting is fantastic and provides equal opportunity and access. Sad to see some people in red states misinforming Americans about it! We also have a referendum for implementing mandatory sex ed, including teaching respect, empathy and consent as part of the curriculum so I was happy to vote yes on that too!

unionrox006 said: I voted about 2 weeks ago by doing a mail in ballot. The other eligible to vote members of my household did the same. We chose to vote by absentee ballot because both my mom and I have an autoimmune disorder, so we have to be careful going out in the pandemic. Tbh, the ballot layout was a bit confusing at first as was all the paperwork and required IDs and documents. But my dad explained it to me and we got them filled out and mailed off. Kinda mad I didn't get a sticker for it though

bluetostone said: Love this and so excited for the next chp of void! I early voted a few weeks ago and because I live in a pretty rural county I was in and out of my polling place in a few minutes. No sticker though 😢. I live in a swing state so it could go either way in terms of delegates. Just praying everyone is safe tonight as the results roll in...though, won't we not know for sure for a couple of days or weeks?

Anonymous said: My mom, sister, and I received our early voting ballots a while ago and I took the longest to fill mine out because it was making me anxious :,( but I did return it before it was due. I checked our ballot statuses and mine and my moms were accepted but my sister’s said they hadn’t received hers back. Then she got another ballot so she filled that one out too and I took it yesterday 👍👍 I think she got two because she changed her address late so they sent two?

vixsynsblog said: Non-interesting voter story: I'm paranoid and live in a highly divided area, so I filed mail-in ASAP, mailed it a few days after cause neighbors are nosy and don't understand boundaries. Was able to track my ballot through my credit company, which was nice. Only thing I was missing was my sticker. Never got one✊😔. So I had to improvise and write it in pen on my disposable mask. I'm working all this week so if riots break out from either side, I'll be at work. Prayers for the safety of others🙏

______

Waaah!!! Thank you all for voting!! You are all my heroes. I am so grateful and proud of you. I’m sorry I ran out of time to respond to you individually. I’m going to drop two big scenes from Chapter 7 in gratitude (one of which will be familiar to my patrons and one won’t). I’m hopeful I will have the whole next chapter out very soon. Love you all!

Void spoilers below the cut.

When you wake up in the morning, there are still no signed HR forms in your messages. Had you been a fool to think they were interested? How much time does it take to decide such a thing? Perhaps just by putting the idea out there explicitly, it had lost all of its taboo appeal. 

There is a calendar reminder waiting for you: Today is chili pepper pollinating day. At least this gives you an excuse to talk to Hoseok. 

You find the science officer in the lab as always, sitting with his knee up against his chest. Hoseok doesn’t look well. He’s got dark circles under his eyes.

“Hey, um…” You shuffle your feet. Want to fuck me? No wait…“You don’t look good. Were you here all night?” you ask.

He blinks at you, bleary-eyed. “Um, was I? Yeah.. I suppose. Lost track of time.” He rubs his eyes, before looking you up and down, then casting his gaze back to the floor. 

All you want to do is ask about the forms. Or the meeting. Or what he thinks of you now. But you don’t. “I need to pollinate the chili peppers today.” Usually Hoseok is the person who assists with that. “But I can get one of the other guys to do it if you need the sleep.”

“No!” Hoseok lurches forward, standing up a bit to rapidly and needing to put his hand back on the bench to steady himself. “I mean, I’m fine.” 

You should disgaree with him. He is exhausted. But you’d like more time to talk to him. 

Pollinating the chili peppers is both time-sensitive and time-consuming, hence why it took two of you to get the job done. There were no insects on your ship to do the job for you and if they didn’t get pollinated, they wouldn’t bear any fruit. Your chili peppers were your favorite crop. Not only a vital source of Vitamin C, but all your food benefitted from having a bit of spice added to it. 

You and Hoseok head for the greenhouse together. The intital set-up gives you something to talk about in the beginning. Hoseok gathers the pollen from one flower onto a paintbrush, then hands it over to you to paint onto the stigmas of each little flower on the next plant in the line.

Slowly the conversation dries up as you fall into a silent rhythm. Other than just enjoying the chili peppers, you must admit that this was one of your favorite tasks on the ship because of the high likelihood that the two of you would brush hands peridically. Always gave you butterflies. But today he seems extra intent on keeping his distance from you. Was he disgusted by you now? His hands are trembling.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” 

His hand twitches so hard that a little rain of yellow pollen cascades onto the floor. He curses in frustration before turning to face you. “Are you sure you’re okay?” 

“Um, yes, I’m fine. Why wouldn’t I be?”

“This, um, plan of yours…” he gestures to the vague tension in the air. “It doesn’t feel like you.”

“I’m trying to save the mission. That has always been my top priority.”

“Yeah, I’m still not clear on how this benefits the mission.”

“Yoongi said…” you start to say, but are cut off my Hoseok’s derisive snort. 

“Look, if you’re in love with Yoongi, just go date him, okay? Don’t feel obligated to include the rest of us out of pity.” 

You frown. “I’m not… I’m not in love with him. It’s just sex. Just biology.” 

“This isn’t you!” Hoseok argues back. “You hated the idea of anyone of us ever treating you that way. And now you just want all of us to… to… use you like that?”  He splutters out the end of the sentence.

“No one is using me! This is my plan! I’m in charge!”

He sighs. “Well, I can’t be a part of it. Excuse me.”

______

Taehyung finds you in the gym. It’s good to see him up and about, even if his arm is still in a sling. 

“Hey, so I need to talk to you about this, um, ape sex thing.” He fishes awkwardly into his pockets and pulls out his tablet.  Maybe Jimin was right. Is Taehyung going to be the first to take you up on your offer?

You pause your jog on the elliptical machine. You wish you weren’t so sweaty and gross for this conversation. Taehyung is such an intimidatingly attractive man with those strong eyebrows and that perfect skin. 

Taehyung opens up the tablet and flips to the form. It’s happening. He’s going to sign the form. Shit. Then what will you do? It’s one thing to say you want to have sex with your whole crew, but what if he’s hoping to go right now? You need a shower. 

Taehyung has really nice hands. Long strong fingers delicately navigating the touch screen. It seems totally improbable that a man this attractive would be into you, even if you were the only woman in the universe. It just adds to your suspicions that hormones are driving everyone crazy. Perhaps if you slept with him once, he’d lose all interest. 

He finds the form and then turns his gaze up to you, staring you down with those eyes. It’s a good thing that Taehyung rarely turns his full gaze on you, because it is almost too much to bear. Shit, is he just going to sign it? Is he waiting for you to give him some sort of signal?

“You can’t do this to Jimin,” he says.

“What?” Not what you were expecting. “Do what to Jimin?”

“This.” He gestures over the HR form. “Signing these forms with everyone. Having sex with everyone. You’re going to destroy Jimin.”

“Jimin’s the one who suggested this whole thing in the first place.” It’s a lie. You know its a lie. Or at least a gross exaggeration. But Jimin was the one who first brought up the idea of sharing. All for the benefit of the man in front of you now. 

“No way.” Taehyung scoffs, crossing his arms and raising an eyebrow. “No way was it Jimin’s idea that you sleep with the whole crew.” 

“Well…” You can’t bear his gaze anymore and look down at the floor. “He wanted me to sleep with you.”

That surprises Taehyung. He puts down the tablet. “What? Why would he want that?”

This is awkward. “He, um, thinks you’re in love with me.”

“What?” There is only surprise on Taehyung’s face. It’s actually a relief to see that Taehyung is just as shocked by that idea as you were. “Why does he think that?”

“I don’t know…” You feel kind of dumb now. Of course, Taehyung doesn’t feel that way about you. Look at him. “Cause you told him you were jealous. Cause you can’t stand to be in the same room as us…”

Taehyung bites his lip. “Oh, um, shit, sorry, that’s not what I meant.”

If Taehyung isn’t jealous of Jimin... 

“Taehyung…” He looks up, biting his lip. “What did you mean? Who are you jealous of?” 

Taehyung’s eyes widen, but he doesn’t say anything. Instead he reaches for his microphone and mutes it. Out of respect, you mute yours as well. He glances toward the camera in the corner of the room, then stands up and begins unzipping his jumpsuit. 

“Um…” You are distracted by the golden arms that peak from either side of the tank top as the zipper reaches his groin. “What are you doing?”

“Need something to block the camera.”

“We have towels,” you mutter.  But he’s already stripping out of his shirt. The musculature of his back ripples. He hangs the shirt off of the camera to block the rest of the room from view. 

“Yeah, but this way anyone watching will think we’re having sex.” His chest is just as attractive as his back and you flush at the sight of it. Mercifully, he zips back into his jumpsuit as he returns to his position in front of the exercise machine. 

“You want them to think we’re having sex?”

“Don’t you? It plays right into your whole save the mission with bonobo sex plan.”

“I suppose.” Though the plan was also supposed to be that there would be no more secrets between the crew. “What plan of yours does it play into?”

“The one where Jimin doesn’t realize I’m in love with him.”

“You’ve never tried to tell him?”

Taehyung laughs wryly and shakes his head. “How would that conversation go? Hey man, I know we’ve known each other for years and I’ve already seen you naked and that you just think of me as a friend, but I’m in love with you. I know that’s awkward but now you have to spend the next twelve years with me, knowing that I’m attracted to you when you don’t feel the same way.” Taehyung sighs. “Doesn’t sound like a good plan to me. If he doesn’t feel the same way, I’ve just ruined the friendship for nothing and then I don’t even have that.”

“Yeah… I get that.”  There’s something touching about realizing that Taehyung has been fighting the same battle as you for the last two years. 

“I couldn’t tell anyone before launch because what if they wouldn’t let me go then? You know?”

“Yeah, the director wasn’t big on sending anyone who might ‘complicate’ the mission.” The two of you share a sad knowing smile. 

“Yeah… And I thought it would be fine, you know? I like women too. I’d just date women until launch and no one would know. I wasn’t planning on falling in love with my roommate.”

“I don’t think any of us really knew what this would be like.”

“I knew it was going to be a problem. I should have pulled out…” 

Your mind flashes back to that moment of doubt when Hoseok talked you into still coming on the mission.

“But I couldn’t just let him go off into space without me. Even if he’d never feel the same way, at least he’d still be in my life.”

The emotion in Taehyung’s words makes your eyes begin to mist. “You really do love him.”

“Yeah,” Taehyung sighs again. “But he’s in love with you.”

“Well, he thinks he is.”

“What does that mean?”

“He only feels like that about me cause he thinks I’m the only option.”  You wonder if maybe he would feel differently if he knew about Taehyung’s feelings. 

Taehyung frowns and shakes his head. “You don’t give him enough credit.”

“Oh come on, you know him. How many women did he date while we were in training?”

“A few…” 

“And how many of them was he in love with before he found the next one?”  

Taehyung bites his lip. He can’t really argue with that. “So why are you with him then, if you don’t think it’s real?”

You shrug, rubbing your arm. “He wants me. It’s nice to feel wanted, I guess.”

“You know you could have that with any man on this ship right?”

You scoff. “They’re all suffering the same delusion. It’s only-available-vagina syndrome. I just want us all to fuck and get it out in the open. Maybe if we could get it out of our system, they would see I’m nothing special. And then we can get back to the mission.”

Taehyung eyes you up and down. “You don’t give yourself enough credit either.”

You shrug. “You wait and see. Jimin will get bored of me. They all will.”

The two of you both slump backwards in your seats, mulling over your shared woes.  Taehyung bends down and picks up the tablet again. “So what should I do with this?”

“Obivously, you don’t have to sign it. I should have realized that not everyone would be interested.”

“Jimin thinks I’m in love with you?”

“Yeah…”

“Is it okay if we let him think that for now? At least until I figure out how to tell him the truth?”

“Okay.”

Taehyung smiles and signs the bottom of the form, then sends it to you. Your phone lights up with a message. “Thank you,” he murmurs before he leaves. 

[snickiebear]

yo nadia <3333 i'm bored in my online classes and u reblogged the questions thingy at the right time lmao, so get ready: 1, 4, 5, 9, 10, 17, 23, 24, 28, 30!!!, 34, 38, 39, 40 (the intimacy of being understood) (imma stop here lol) (also i'm sorry u're not feeling well, ily and hope u'll feel better soon!! <33333)

ELE ILY. (and thank you, i’m stayin home today cause,,, yeah. i appreciate you sm.) you’re the literal best, i adore you. 

1. How long ago did you start reading fanfiction? Writing fanfiction?

The first fanfiction i read was for The Lunar Chronicles when I was like 11?? and it was 100% on accident and it scarred me because it was a hardcore porn one with a period kink and i was like WHAT IS THIS??? OH MY GOD???? LMAOOOOO i didn’t pick it back up until i was 13-14 and really got into the Fairy Tail fandom. I still reread my favorites on ff.net cause i love them. 

As for writing, I wrote a horrible, terrible x-men fanfiction when I was twelve. (my friend still brings it up and REFUSES to delete it so it still gets comments and views, that shit HAUNTS ME ELE.) then tried again for Fairy Tail, posted like two chapters before taking it down cause i wasn’t really feeling it. And then I posted The Intimacy Of Being Understood and here we are. 

4. Link your three favorite fics right now.

OMGG okok 

@murd3rm1ttens ‘s The Problem How Time Works IF YOU HAVENT READ THIS YOU GUYS NEED TO HOP ON IT ASAP. MITTEN’S WRITING SO SO SO SO GOOD. SAKURA AND INO ARE TOTAL BADASSES. KAKASHI IS A SIMPPPP. ITS SO FUCKING GOOD. 

@mouseymightymarvellous ‘s We Were Screaming In Color (Only A Possibility) yes, yes I KNOW. i always point into mousey’s direction but i WILL always advocate that everyone reads her fics, they’re literally so beautiful???? i just happen to be rereading WWSIN rn 

@safelycapricious ‘s Shaking Up And Breaking Down series. I found this like?? idfk but i’ve been raving about it ever since. ALSO CHECK OUT THEIR FICS IN GENERAL. 

fuck i have more than three but also check out @ambivalens999 ‘s Masks

i do wanna make a fic rec thing where i just rav about my favs,,, might do that later or sum

5. What are your fanfic pet peeves? Do they have a huge effect on whether or not you decide to read something?

Omniscient third person. I don’t like it. Like I can understand that it can be a little hard to stay in one person’s perspective but, in my opinion, if you can, it shows how disciplined you are as a writer. Plus, i just get so confused when I go from A’s thoughts to suddenly what B is thinking about A. 

When writers use ‘ ‘ instead of “ “. When writers put thoughts in ‘ ‘ instead of just italicizing them. It’s small things but like they just bother me sO MUCH. most of the time i can ignore it and try to enjoy but other times i just dip. 

9. Tag 3 fic writers you think are underrated/unknown in the fandom/fanfiction community.

@espoir-et-reves !!!!! THEIR SHISAKU FICS ARE SO SO SO SO SO GOOD. And they have a warring states one going on THAT I AM SO OBSESSED WITH. 

@writer168 idk if they’re really “underrated” but THEY HAVE SUCH GREAT FICS ON AO3. Like theres an AU with sakura, kiba, and shino that i reread constantly because it just. is. so. fucking. GOOD. and they posted a new one that i’m YELLING about. 

@eggtoasties okay they only have 2 in the naruto fandom (one shisaku which is still ongoing) BUT THEIR WRITING STYLE IS SO NICE?? I ABSOLUTELY LOVE IT. I still go back and reread their shikasaku one cause UGH i can’t get enough. I love it. 

10. What’s your favorite fandom, pairing, or character to read fic for?

Fandoms: Naruto, Soul Eater, The Old Guard, ATLA

Parings: KakaSaku/ShikaSaku/ShiSaku/MultiSaku, SoMa, Joe X Nicky, Zukka

Character: SAKURA. I will read anything with Sakura as the main character and her being a fuckin badass or becoming a badass. I love her.

17. How obsessively do you sit and stare at your fic after you’ve just posted and wait for feedback?

aha.. haha.. well. I check my email like three times an hour. its the first thing i check in the mornings too. I’m literally a whore for praise and literally eat up feedback like its going out of style. I also reread a lot of my stuff because i make so many mistakes and spelling errors, or the spacing is weird oR SOMETHING. plus, literally any and all comments make my day, i go back and reread them cause they just make me feel so tingly and warm like “wow. this person enjoyed the fic/my writing enough to tell me. thats HUGE!”

23. What’s your absolute favorite trope to write?

Angry, feral, bloodied, morally gray women. They aren’t bad guys, they’re probably the good guy, but that doesn’t mean they cant be fucking raging at the world with raw knuckles and blood on their teeth. I just love an angry woman who struggles with her emotions and just has so much inner conflict but that doesn’t take away from her character or badassery, it adds to it. 

24. What’s a trope that you’d like to never hear about as long as you live, let alone write?

The fake dating or miscommunication troupe. LIKE GUYS JUST TALK. AND TELL EACH OTHER OMFG. the entire like obliviousness of “nah they dont like me” while the They holds their hand and kisses their cheek. MOFO WHAT. it makes me so impatient and like mad HAAHHAHA. its probably because i’m a pretty confrontational person so seeing stuff like that just “cmon bro, USE YO HEAD.”

28. How do you deal with writing pressure (ie: pressure to update, negative comments, deadlines, etc)?

I have yet to receive a negative comment! Which i was really surprised about tbh. As for deadlines or pressure to update, i just kind of do whatever. I do set goals, but i set them flexible enough that hey, if i can’t do it, that’s okay. 

I have a lot of mini goals, like “i want to write this chapter and get it done this week” and then the large goal is “FINISH BY END OF MAY” so i have time. 

Actually, now that I think on it, the entire pressure to update thing is probably why i’m waiting until I have all of OL&W written to post it weekly,, cause well. I wouldn’t wanna leave you guys waiting as I tried to write and work out the next chapters and stuff, you know?

30. Post a snippet from your current WIP without context - no more than 300 words.

AAAAAA YOU KNOW I LOVE THESE AHAHAHAH

Have you seen the way the dead dance, World Breaker? They roar, half mad and starving. Do you not wish, do you not hope to see them twist and bend and dance to your will?

Shikamaru snarls, looking behind his shoulders to where his Shadows lay. “Patience.” He spits. “Is of the essence, Things of Ancient. Know your place as the dark you are.”

34. How much of yourself and your life experiences do you put into your writing? What do you think your readers’ image of you is?

None of my experiences match up to anything I write tbh,,, probably the only thing that is me in my writing is maybe the emotional turmoil? I’m pretty emotionally and mentally mature because from a pretty young age i started forming my own opinions, started looking into the world around us and being like “dude what the fuck this is not what disney advertised”. Then i started talking (read: arguing and debating) with my dad about a lot of it. So, like emotions are kind of hard for me. Like i’m pretty good at controlling them or understanding them, but still. idk its hard to explain ig.

Like the weight of stress, the anger, the sadness. It’s kind of therapeutic to write. Cause i don’t know how to put those feelings to verbal words so writing them really helps. 

As for my readers’ image? Probably like some kind of hunched over figure typing away in the dark with a maniacal grin on their face. I honestly don’t know AHHAHAHA but it is fun to think about. I think they’d see me as someone with potential but a lot of room to grow and someone who is imperfect but in a charming way LMAOOOO

38. What does your writing process look like? How chaotic is it on a scale of 1 (very tame) to 10 (you can’t handle this kind of chaos)?

I’m gonna be real honest. Its probably like a 2. I’m a bit of a control freak so I almost always go in chronological order, my writing is pretty linear. Unless, i get bored and jump to one of my fav parts. It's pretty much i sit down, i open the doc, read over my notes and just start writing. 

It’s a little boring to explain AHAHAHA but once i get into the groove of things its really fucking great, I can like feel myself in the world, I can feel what i want the characters to, i love it. I catch myself mouthing the words as i type too, which i find hilarious.

39. What’s something about your writing that you pride yourself on?

I rather like how raw my writing is sometimes. Which might sound really vain, but i do like the way i word things or describe things. I love juxtaposition and repetition, or making a good ole circle back to some minute detail that wouldn’t stand out until i repeat it at the end and you’re like “omg” AHAHAHAHA.

Like those little poetic snippets or certain wording i just sit back and go “damn thats kinda good nadia! go you!’ HAHAHA  

40. How did you come up with the idea for The Intimacy Of Being Understood?

AAAAA this fic is like my first child, my pride and joy LMAO

so the idea initially came when i was reading some fic, idk if it was even naruto, but i was like “i don't like this, but i do like the rain symbolism.” And I knew i wanted to write something kind of slow paced, something a little sad and angsty, but would show KakaSaku slowly but surely falling in love.

Idk if you’ve noticed but a lot of my fics, the pairings don’t change each other dramatically. They accept each other as they are and then they grow with together. Like that acceptance is something i just love writing, its so subtle, it isn’t something you declare. Its simply “I am going to love you. I am going to love you despite your flaws and faults. I am going to love you unconditionally because I know you, I understand you, and there is nothing you could do to drive me away.” 

The fic kind of wrote itself after that first scene. I kept going back to the rain, go being ghosts, and resurrection, and the small epiphanies one gets. I wanted to focus on each character’s growth with each other. They didn’t find light in life because of each other, but with each other. And i think that’s my favorite thing about that fic. 

I wanted something raw and real and just something beautiful. I’m actually really proud of it tbh. Would i go back and rewrite/edit it? Oh of course! I’d do that with every single one of my fics, but i’m not gonna cause i think its in its rawest form right now. :))))

ask me shit plz

[twinklecheeks]

Friends With Benefits (Jeff Wittek Imagine) Part 9

Summary: Jeff and Y/N have been hooking up for a while. The whole vlog squad assumes they’re dating and Y/N does too but Jeff doesn’t like labels. He eventually starts to express interest in Natalie.

Note: Planning on making this a multiple part series, depending on how good it does.  You’re 21 & Latina in this (maybe) series. Also, I’d like to apologize for the typos, if there are any. I’m just illiterate lmao.  

Warnings! Pregnancy, PURE FILTH, KINKY AS SHIT, I SWEAR THIS MESS IS NASTY, NSFW. I’m being SERIOUS. Most of this chapter is sex. 

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4 , Part 5, Part 6, Part 7,  Part 8

Word Count: 1.7k

Jeff’s Birthday 12/15/19

David: *Vlogging* Everybody get in the room quietly

Zane & Toddy: *has buckets of ice water*

Everybody: HAPPY BIRTHDAY BIRTHDAY TO YOU, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU, HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR JEFF. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU.

Jeff: *under his blanket and pillows* Guys. I’m old now. Let me sleeep.

Zane: Wakey wakey baby

Toddy & Zane: *throws the ice water on Jeff*

Jeff: WHHAT THE FUCK

*Everybody runs out of the room laughing*

Jeff: So now that I’m awake, are we all gonna snowboard today?

Y/n: I can’t, so I’m just gonna stay here.

Carly: Erin, Corinna and I will stay back with her.

Y/n: Great, people are feeling sorry for the pregnant girl.

Corinna: Not true. I also hate the cold and I don’t wanna fall down a hill.

Jeff: Okay cool. We’re gonna leave in 20 and y/n, call me if anything happens.

Night time

David: I know we already sung it this morning but-

Everybody: HAPPY BIRTHDAY BIRTHDAY TO YOU, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU, HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR JEFF. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU.

Jeff: I just like to say thank you so much guys. I know that I’ve been such an asshole the past couple weeks but now that I’m 30 and we’re entering  a new decade in like two or so weeks, I want to make things right and also I’m going to be a father to two little girls. Y/n I know of personally apologize to you already but I just wanna say in front of everybody here. I am so sorry for everything I have done to you. I will admit, I am scared to become a dad, I will protect you and the girls with my life. And thanks to everybody that came here. This friend group has changed my life for the better.

Zane: Can we stop with this sappy shit and eat some caaake.

David: *vlogging* VARDON THROW THE CAKE

Jeff: wait what

Vardon: *throws the cake*

Jeff: *dodges the cake*

*little cake fight happens in the kitchen*

David: hey y/n, can I talk to you?

Y/n: Sure..

David: I just wanted to say that I’m sorry for how I acted yesterday. After hearing what Jeff said and the way you looked at him, I’m guessing you’re still probably in love w/ him.

Y/n: ummm…

David: I don’t blame you. He is the father of your kids and he most likely still has feelings for you too. Can we just move on and be friends again?

Y/n: I’d like that very much.

*after Jeff gets cleaned up*

Jeff: What did David say to you?

Y/n: that he wanted to move on and be friends again. So now, I’m officially single.

Jeff: So does that mean I can win you back?

Y/n: woah woah woah, slow down there Wittek. You're still on a trial run.

Jeff: Is there anything I can do on this trial run to make me a lifetime member?

Y/n: *getting horny* Maybe… I mean, technically you’re already a lifetime member. I’m pregnant w/ your kids.

Jeff: Sooo… I’m not crossing any lines if I do this? *pushes y/n down gently on the bed and hovers over her*

Y/n: Ummmm….. no.

Jeff: I bet your tits have gotten a lot bigger since I saw them last. I’ll only continue if you’re okay with this

Y/n: *smiling shyly* Oh gosh yes. Please continue

Jeff: *takes off y/n’s shirt* Wow, no bra? Were you planning this? *smirks*

Y/n: No but this better fucking happen because I’m gonna beat you if it doesn’t. My tits have gotten so sore since I got pregnant.

Jeff: *sucks of the right nipple and massages the left* Mmm, they taste sweeter from what I remember.

Y/n: *moans* Mmmm.. fuuuck. Daddy you can suck on my tits all you want.

Jeff: *laughs* Daddy? Someone’s got a daddy kink now?

Y/n: Oh shut up. Let’s be honest, you had a breeding kink before because you always loved cumming inside me before I got pregnant.

Jeff: touché… and I still will cum inside you at the end. I like to finish what I started babe *winks*

Y/n: You kinky whore.

*pulls Jeff in for a needy kiss*

Jeff: *takes off your leggings* Damn babe no underwear too? You were definitely planning this.

Y/n: *getting impatient* Jeff please eat me out.

Jeff: No problem. *kisses his way down to your pussy and his warm tongue licks from your entrance up to your clit.*

Y/n: Oh my god pleease don’t tease me Jeff.

Jeff: Anything for my queen *slowly circles his tongue around your clit* I love how you were always wet for me. *eats you out*

Y/n: *cries out in pleasure* I’m trying so hard not to cum so early.

Jeff: Cum anytime you want baby.

Y/n: Oh GOD I’M CUMMING.

Jeff: *fingers her and sucks on clit*

Y/n: *trembling* mmm I feel like I’m still cumming.

Jeff: You ready?

Y/n: *smirks* I’m always ready for you.

Jeff: You’re making it hard to be gentle w/ you cause I wanna fuck you so damn rough, but I don’t want to hurt you. And you also won’t be able to walk normally..

Y/n: And who says I want it gentle? *winks*

Jeff: You’re gonna be the death of me doll.    

Y/n: *gets on her knees & unzips his pants* I’ve missed your cock so much daddy. *You suck the pre-cum* It’s bigger than I remember.

Jeff: You’re daddy’s little pregnant whore aren’t you?

Y/n: I’ll always be your whore, cum slut, doll, you name it. *licks from the base of his cock to the tip* No one can suck like I can. *You hollow your cheeks so you can suck off as much as you can. His cock hits the back out your throat; you start to deepthroat Jeff*

Jeff: *grabs y/n’s hair & bucks his hips* Only daddy can fuck your mouth, cum inside you and get you pregnant, you got that?

Y/n: Of course. I’ll always take your cum.

Jeff: Get on the bed. On all fours.

Y/n: *Gets on the bed* Just fuck me rough daddy.

Jeff: *slams cock into y/n, gives her a bit to adjust* What’d say doll? *slams it into her again*

Y/n: Jesus fuck. I’ve missed you so much. No one can fuck me like you can.

Jeff: I remember you liked it when daddy fucked your ass doll. Remember?

Y/n: *trembling* Please fuck my ass and then my pussy*

Jeff: *slowly pushes cock into her* FUCK. Shit I almost feel like cumming rn.

Y/n: Fuuuuck me- too. SHIT oh MY UGH. I haven’t done anal in so long.

Jeff: *goes faster* oh fuckk… Your ass feels so amazing.

Y/n: *being a moaning mess* Cum inside my ass Jeff!

Jeff: Don’t worry doll. I’ll cum in both. *goes faster* Fucking SHIT. Sss-o ttight *cums inside y/n*

Y/n: *screams into pillow* SHIT SHIT SHIT IM CUMMING.

Jeff: *Quickly pulls out of ass and fucks her pussy* I’m still rock hard for you baby

Y/n: *Has 3rd orgasm right after the 2nd* Jefff!

Jeff: *cums inside her* Jesus.

*both are sweaty messes wrapped in the blanket*

Y/n: *cuddles with Jeff* Well that was-

Jeff: Kinky-er than usual. I didn’t think I liked to be called daddy.

Y/n: *laughing* Oh god don’t remind me.

Jeff: I’m gonna take a shower, wanna join?

Y/n: What, so you can make me cum for a 4th time tonight?

Jeff: No you little nasty. We’re sweaty and gross. We gotta wash off our sins.

Y/n: *gets out of bed and tries to stand up*

Jeff: I told you you won’t be able to walk.

Y/n: Oh shut up and help me.

The next morning

Y/n & Jeff: *wakes up at y/n’s phone ringing*

Y/n: It’s my doctor. *picks up the phone and puts it on speaker*

Doctor: Good morning y/n, how are you feeling?

Y/n: I’m feeling great.

Doctor: Well that’s good. Is there time for you and Jeff to come by my office today?

Y/n: *confused* Umm no. We’re out of town and won’t be home for another 2-3 days. Is there something wrong? You can just tell it to us over the phone.

Doctor: Well… Okay. The only thing that came up in both of your test results was that you and Jeff are carriers of a mutation of the GJB2 gene. Normally, that gene has a protein that plays an important role in the development of the cochlea, which is in our ears.

Jeff: Can you please get to the point.

Doctor: So because you both are carriers of the mutation of the gene, there’s a chance that one or both of your girls will be born partially or completely deaf.

Y/n: Wh-what?

Jeff: Is there no way in knowing if they are beforehand?

Doctor: The only way in knowing is doing a hearing test on both girls when they’re born. If one or both are born deaf, there’s options like the cochlear implant. I’ve seen this used on babies as young as 5-6 months old but that’s in the UK. Here in the states, babies would have to be at least a year old. Just remember that I’m saying there’s a CHANCE. I’m not saying that they will be born deaf.

Y/n: Ooo-kay. Th-thanks for calling. *Hangs up the phone* D-deaf? Our girls are gonna be born deaf?

Jeff: *holds y/n* Hey hey hey, she said there’s a chance. Since there’s a chance, we gotta be prepared. We gotta do our research and see what the best options are. We might also have to learn sign language and also teach them. Y/n I know you’re terrified and I am too but we have to look at the bright side.

Y/n: And that is?

Jeff: That we’re gonna have 2 beautiful baby girls.

Y/n: *smiles weakly* Should we tell the rest of them?

Jeff: Let’s wait a bit until we tell them.

Y/n: Okay.

Ummm… Yeah so that happened… Don’t say I didn’t warn y’all in the last chapter. Jeff is really stepping up after only a few days. What do y’all think of my little plot twist at the end? Also, Jeff still hasn’t told his parents! How do you think they’ll react. 

Comment if you want to be on the taglist!

Taglist: @elvlogsquad​ @siemprestan​ @zavidzobrik​ @galxydefender​ @iminlovewithenchilidadas​ @ilsolee​ @ranprivate @one-sweet-gubler @thoughtfullymysticalpoetry @sunwardsss @shamalamashams @michellemxndes

[punkwixes]

didn’t make a new years retrospective really, haven’t ever done it in the past. but now that i’m almost 5 days late, i’m like, sure! what the fuck! here’s what’s happened in my life in the past year for anyone who might be wondering where i’ve been:

weirdly, the pandemic didn’t affect my life too much, except that my job was different for about six months. it was fine. increased risk of getting covid but that’s basically everywhere [i could get a job] these days, so i don’t regret trading retail for a nursing home back in 2018. at least the nursing home is really responsible about it all.

march-june didn’t really exist for me lmao

went back to college. majoring in social work and gerontology rn, Maybe That’ll Change, we’ll see.

the pandemic affected that. everything’s been online, my first in-person class is two weeks from today. 

got diagnosed w adhd because of The Above Reasons mostly

got a 4.0 for my first semester. i think i ended my freshman year at onu with a 2.8 or some shit so this is pretty good!

honestly doing Okay with depression and stuff. still struggling with executive dysfunction, juggling chores and cleaning w/ life, and i’m sure working full-time while doing full-time college isn’t, like, helping.

just been busy, mostly.

haven’t done a lot of art and shit, but i’m proud of what i did do!

i AM (as of, like, three days ago) writing fic again, though. so... we’ll see. it’s been three years since i’ve published something that wasn’t original! wrow.

i think my practical resolution is to be better about cleaning & keeping up with chores, do things before i get overwhelmed b/c i HAVEN’T done them. this includes homework.

other resolution is that i really do want to publish fic this year! i want to put whatever bullshit i want out there on the internet! i’ve mostly been writing original fiction for Exactly Two People over the last few years & it’s a very lonely existence.

i guess... the only other thing i wanna say is that i was thinking abt how i haven’t been here b/c i, like, escaped my Shit Family in 2017 and moved states (OH -> NC) and that was hard! it still is hard! it was a weird transition to go from, like, “what i do when i come home from college is listen to a podcast and write fic” directly to “what i do when i come home from work is lie facedown on my air mattress and think about doing dishes and worry about what time i have to take the bus tomorrow”. luckily, things have improved since then, and i’m glad for it!

so i’ve been posting less and less just because i have a lot of irl stuff to do! (and also because, i’m living with the person i usually reblogged stuff for on here, so, like, when i want to show her a post i just slide my phone over)

but now that i’m three (???) years out, i can safely say that it’s worth it. i was talking about this with laura the other day, i think? there’s something about being An Adult (lmao) that i never thought about, which is the freedom to just... do what i want. this can be good or bad, obviously, but it’s been three years and i’m still getting hit in the face with the fact that i make my own money and i can do stuff like buy new clothes without needing to justify it. that’s something i didn’t feel when i was in college the first time, and i wish i could go back to december 2, 2017 and tell myself that it’ll all work out.

[thedollisdead]

vent/scream at the void/don’t reblog

today is my first day back at work since I had a week out sick due to my stupid endometriosis and adenomyosis, and then after passing a cyst, getting food poisoning. what a fucking week that was. anyway being at work is fine that’s not the problem, but the massive amounts of dysphoria I’ve felt all damn day, being still sore and tired, and then having an automatic bill payment that was 1. early as hell and shouldn’t have been taken out until Friday the 14th and 2. put me $345.38 in the negative. which is extra fucked, because I found out a different bill I had been paying has also been TRIPLE CHARGING ME, and my health insurance through work wasn’t taken out the past two checks I had, so I’ll be getting DOUBLE INSURANCE PAYMENTS taken out of my next two checks to make up for their mistake. I almost want to unalive myself at this point.

like.... is life ever going to ease up? I know it’s never been easy but for fuck’s sake, my girlfriend/fiancé/future wife has been away for nearly 7 months now and I’m wrapping my head around the fact that she still may not be able to come home by my birthday with the way things are going.... and sure I have some truly wonderful friends here, but no family in the state and my closest friends are states away too. I’m overwhelmed and trying not to have a panic attack at work after already being gone a week.

y’all mind if I just scream?

*edit for even more since typing all of this*

I’ve had multiple friends be posted to some fucked up revenge porn website, and have had a few people send me ones of other afab’s that are blonde and named sky asking if it’s me or not and my cptsd is... I’m... none have been me but as someone who was trafficked as a child, has had their child p*rn distributed throughout the internet and had to see it, and has been previously revenge p*rn posted when I was a drug filled idiot minor who got a little too popular on MySpace... I’m gonna just spiral immediately upon getting home 🙃

[yikesharringrove]

tagged by: @lostnoise ty 💕

1. do you prefer writing with a black pen or a blue pen? I write almost entirely in this one specific brand of purple pen (I’ve found it helps with ye olde dyslexia) but black is the second best option. I also have a collection of gel pens, so I like those too.

2. would you prefer to live in the country or in the city? City. But like, a smaller city is okay.

3. if you could learn a new skill, what would it be? Um, like any skill? I have none? I want to learn ASL, though.

4. do you drink your tea/coffee with sugar? When I drink coffee (which is almost never) I put a lil in.

5. what was your favorite book as a child? The Gaspard and Lisa series.

6. do you prefer baths or showers? I’m the fucking worst bc when I shower, I’ll just like, lay down in the tub for a while. So technically shower.

7. if you could be a mythical creature, which one would you be? It’s be cool to be a fairy.

8. paper or electronic books? I’m not a huge reader, so I have a LOT of audiobooks lol. I mean, I love paper books, but I also love on electric books how I can change the font size and color and stuff.

9. what is your favorite item of clothing? My banana skirt, or I have a collection of vintage band shirts from my parents, that are pretty cool. 

10. do you like your name? would you like to change it? My legal name is Abigail and I fucking hate it, but I don’t want to go through the rigor of leagally changing it when everyone jsut calls me Abbi anyway 🤷‍♀️

11. who is a mentor to you? One of my professors. She’s an AMAZING woman, and she’s so wonderful. She and a few other women spoke out against one of their old bosses that sexually assaulted several of them, and they managed to get him fired and kicked off the board of a newspaper he was on. She was the first person I opened up to about my own experiencees after that.

12. would you like to be famous? if so, what for? I think it’d be cool to be really recognizable by a certain group, so like be famous for a niche thing where those fans would recognize you, but not EVERYONE in the world would recognize you. I’d like to be an actor or a musician I think.

13. are you a restless sleeper? oh yee

14. do you consider yourself to be a romantic person? Depends. I can be, but I also don’t really care about romantic things in general.

15. which element best represents you? um, idk. Fire, maybe?

16. who do you want to be closer to? my friends that live three states away.

17. do you miss someone at the moment? my friends that live three states away.

18. tell us about an early childhood memory. My earliest memory is of driving in the car listening to DMX with my mom, which describes her pretty well.

19. what is the strangest thing you have eaten? I’ll put really anythign in my maw. I’ve been lucky to travel a lot and I’ll try anything, so I’ve eaten sheep liver, and bull testicle, and pig brain, and cricket.

20. what are you most thankful for? The opportunities in life I’ve had.

21. do you like spicy food? oh yeah

22. have you ever met someone famous? Yeah, I have some good stories lol

23. do you keep a diary or journal? I try to. It’s helpful for me to write things out, I’m just bad at actually doing it daily. I’ve been keeping one for the past few weeks pretty well though, since there’s been a lot on my mind.

24. do you prefer to use pen or pencil? I fucking hate writing in pencil.

25. what is your star sign? taurus/aries

26. do you like your cereal crunchy or soggy? Crunchy!!!! I only pour a lil cereal in at a time so that it doesn’t get soggy

27. what would you want your legacy to be? That I was kind.

28. do you like reading? What was the last book you read? I’m not a big reader, so again, audiobooks. I just finished Always Look on the Bright Side of Life: A Sortabiography By Eric Idle of Monty Python and I really liked it.

29. how do you show someone you love them? my love leanguage is giving/recieving gifts, so I give a lot of stuff. Like jsut little things, like nice post it notes, or like, by them a coffee or smthn

30. do you like ice in your drinks? depends

31. what are you afraid of? amounting to nothing, that everyone hates me, being a failure, letting my family down. To name a few

32. what is your favorite scent? I realy like floral scents, or good food cooking, or like, pine.

33. do you address older people by their name or surname? If I don’t know them well, it’s title and surname, but I have a lot of middle aged adult friends, so they’re first names always.

34. if money was not a factor, how would you live your life? I’d travel the world.

35. do you prefer swimming in pools or the ocean? I’ve only been in the ocean a few times and I’ve only swam in it twice, but that was to snorkel and my sister and I swam with leopard sharks and it was amazing, but it’s easier to swim in a pool lol

36. what would you do if you found $50 in the ground? If I saw the someone dropped it, I’d give it back, but if not, mine. 

37. have you ever seen a shooting star? did you make a wish? I’ve seen a lot and I wish on all of them.

38. what is one thing you would want to teach your children? To love, to be soft and kind and giving, but to understand when to be hard and put yourself first.

39. if you had to have a tattoo, what would it be and where would you get it? I have a lot of plans. The first one I get is gonna match with my sister, in memory of a friend of ours.

40. what can you hear now? I’m listening to some music

41. where do you feel the safest? In my room in my apartment. I’m subleasing to a friend rn bc I had to move back in with my parents for quarantine :/

42. what is one thing you want to overcome/conquer? My deeply ingrained feelings of not being good enough.

43. if you could travel back to any era, what would it be? I would like to live in the late 60s-early 70s for a bit. See good artists when they were up and coming, go to Woodstock.

44. what is your most used emoji? 🥺

45. describe yourself using one word. cold

46. what do you regret the most? Moving back home, tbh.

47. last movie you saw? I watched Gremlins. I went to the drive in the other day with my sister and we saw The Goonies and Gremlins.

[dustxfields]

     snowflake.     i  feel  so  confused  and  lost !!  i  put  this  on  my  twitter  but  i’m  gonna  put  it  here  bc  i  just  want  to  get  it  off  my  chest  and  i  have  no  idea  what  to  do.      it’s  under  a  read  more  bc  it  might  get  p  lengthy.

     so  basically  i  saw  this  open  position  that  i  was  initially  feeling  semi  confident  to  contemplate  applying  for ... but  i  didn’t  in  the  end.      there’s  a  couple  of  reasons  behind  it,  but  firstly  let  me  set  the  scene  where  i  am  as  of  rn  in  my  life.      i  live  in  the  united  kingdom,  off the  outskirts  of  london,  although  i  work  in  retail ... i  enjoy  the  company  i’m  around  while  i  was  at  work  ( lockdown  of  course. )      i  have  this  sense  of  comfortability  within  the  united  kingdom.  it’s  my  home,  i  was  raised  here.

     the  position  i  was  looking  at  is  washington  state ... america.  now  this  isn’t  saying  that  IF  under  some  miraculous  circumstance,  i  got  the  job ... it  would  be  a  dream  come  true.  some  of  my  biggest  love’s  and  passions  all  rolled  into  one  place ??   what  could  be  the  problem ... where  there’s  a  few.      i  know  i’d  get  home  sick  very  quickly ... that’s  just  who  i  am.  when  i  moved  out  of  my  mothers  house  to  live  with  my  friends  i  didn’t  feel  sadness  or  guilt  or  missed  her  because  i  knew  my  mother  was  never  far  away,  20  minutes  away  if  that.

     but  there’s  also  that  fear  that  my  skills  in  this  area  wouldn’t  be  up  to  scratch  compared  to  others  who  had  been  in  that  position  for  such  a  long  time ... and  considering  the  gaming  industry  and  narratives  have  been  going  for  so  long  now ... there  are  people  who  have  accumulated  a  lifetimes  worth  of  experience  in  that  field.      but  going  back  to  the  travel  distance.  i’d  be  moving  to  america ... thats  almost  more  the  8  hours  by  plane.  when  i  paid  a  visit  to  nevada  that  was  an  11  hour  flight  alone ...

     the  internet  has  allowed  me  to  make  and  form  friendships  all  across  the  world  but  that  still  wouldn’t  negate  the  feeling  of  loneliness  if  i  applied  and  got  the  job.      i’d  not  just  be  in  a  space  where  i  knew  no  one.  no  matter  where  i’d  go ... i’d  be  alone  and  i  struggle  around  people  as  it  is ... so  there  would  be  that  fear  for  a  fear  while.

     like  i  said,  i’ve  been  to  america ... once.  and  despite  that  it  was  just  a  holiday ... i  knew  i’d  be  returning  back  to  the  UK ... but  this ... if  i  went  for  this  i’d  be  there  for  a  lot  longer  then  2  weeks ... but  i  was  in  nevada ... arizona, california ... washington  would  be  new  and  i’d  alone.

     i  must  have  been  staring  at  that  application  for  a  solid  hour  before  i  closed  the  page  and  just  tried  to  forget  about  it ...

[psychicglitterdetective]

I am so damn angry

(Rant alert, so if you're not interested, just skip this post)

Alright, I'm so pissed about all the shit I've been going through the last few years of my life. (I'm currently 15 almost 16 rn)

It all happened with my dad. To put it in short, he emotionally manipulated me eversince I was a little kid. In context, I've been living with my grandparents for as long as I can remember due to my dad nor mom having stable jobs and my grandparents (mom's side) were generous enough to let us live with them for this many years.

I was extremely close to my grandfather, he would actually act like a dad then how my own father was. My dad was, to put it in short, a deadbeat. He would always lock himself in our room and just watch TV, if he isn't working. He would always tell me that my grandparents (more especially my grandfather) were bad people and to not get close to them. He also manipulated my mom from visiting her own family (sisters, brothers, etc.) So, we were basically closed off from them all.

Growing up, he was extremely overprotective over me. He wouldn't let me have guy friends, so I would just lie that I didn't have them when I did. I was extremely passionate in ice skating, it would of helped me be more in shape and I would do something other than being locked all day In my house. But he didn't let me, due to the outfits being "skimpy" and "would attract too much male attention" EVEN THOUGH I was fucking 7-9 years old when I took interest in it, I didn't even know how babies were made, and I wasn't even interested in "attracting" boys.

In my early adolescents, I started to get a bit into more "girly stuff" aka make up. I wanted to learn to wear make up to make myself feel pretty. And my mom was all for it. But my dad yelled at my mom, "She's not allowed to wear that shit until she's 18." Most of the girl's from middle, already knew how to wear makeup, and I didn't know Jack shit, I felt extremely left out.

And then, one day, it all came crashing down. It was a seemingly a normal day for me. It was after school, (when I was maybe 11 or 12) me and my mom walked into the house when we heard my grandfather talking to my grandmother. I can't remember especially what he said, but he said something about kicking my dad out.

My mom immediately went to her room, grabbed a suitcase. Practically shoved all of our stuff into it, grabbed my wrist and dragged me out of the house.

I should of probably mentioned this before, but my mom was pregnant with my brother at the time and, by command of my father, hid it from my grandparents.

The two must of heard my mom slamming the door and my grandma almost immediately called my mom and asked her what happened. My mom basically dropped an atomic bomb on my grandma and told her that she was pregnant and hung up on her.

After that, we would be homeless for the next couple of months. We would sleep in the car and jump from hotels and motels depending on how much money we would have on us. We would also stay with friends until my brother would be born.

At this point my brother was born. One day, someone offered my dad a job in Florida. He quickly accepted and we would have a road trip to Florida. At first I was enthusiastic, I wanted to think that this would help us have a house and have actual food.

But then, when we got there. The man said that would get us a job wasn't even in Florida, but was in another state where there has been a lot of snowing. So, we basically stayed in a rest spot for maybe a month.

At this point, I haven't been in school for five months. For some people, it would be a blessing. But for me it was a nightmare. It was extremely boring and I had nothing to do. I was, once again, locked in a small space.

My dad was a addicted to smoke. And people with addiction know if if you can't have the thing that you are addicted to, you'd get angry and would do anything thing to get it.

One day in that nightmarish month, my brother was crying because of not eating all day. My mom couldn't lactate and we haven't had money to buy him any milk. So, of course he would be cranky. My dad didn't have any cigarettes that day, and then he yelled at me and my mom the scariest thing that still echoes through my mind to this day.

"Quiet that thing up before I kill it."

For me, an eleven year old to hear those words come out of his mouth, I officially become scared of my father. I didn't cry, because I was scared that my father would kill me.. My mom was scared and immediately picked up my brother, and pulled him as far away as she could from my father. My dad immediately left the car when I broke down.

None of us would talk to each other for a while.

The two then got a job in a hotel. That was the time when I was forced to grow up. My parents had night shifts. So I would stay up all night so that I would take care of my brother. I was basically a second mother to my brother. I would be the one to feed him, dress him, bathe him, play with him. I had to grow up faster than most so that I could take care of him.

My parents were rarely there in those times. I tried to stay positive, and tried not to complain. But how could I tell my parents I didn't want to take care of my brother, even though they couldn't be there so that they could get money. I just couldn't.

It was because of this that it's extremely hard for me to even be clear with my emotions towards people. I would always bottle it all up, and try to not let it show. Yet, I'm naturally a very emotional person so it's extremely hard on me on a daily basis.

I had grown used to changing my brother. To others it would be disgusting, yet for me, it was nothing due to how many times I had changed him that I didn't bat an eye when changing him. My dad, when he would be on break, would force me to change him if he pooped. it disgusted him, I had to do it and I was barely getting into puberty.

I had nothing to do, other than taking care of my brother. I had no friends, I did have a phone, which is where I got my passion on writing. I had finally found something I was truly passionate that no one could take away from me. I would write fanfiction about creepypasta when ever I had the time.

(Which is extremely cringy looking back at it, but it came from a time that I needed something to entertain myself so I kind of look at them in pride.)

To get specific of how we lived. We were cramped in a small generic hotel room. We lived across a Walmart, so we would walk over and get microwaved food so we would have something to eat. We would only eat once a day so that my brother would have more to eat. So, there would be days were I wouldn't eat. I had gone on not eating for maybe 2 almost 3 days. I know what starving feels like.

I can't remember when, but our car got taken away due to not paying for it. The owners were threatening on kicking us out for basically the same thing. So, we were forced to call our grandparents so that we wouldn't be homeless without a car.

During this whole time, my father was putting ideas into my head about how it was their fault that we were homeless for a year.

When they finally came, i didn't talk. I was in a position of being extremely touch starved but didn't want any physical contact with anyone. My grandfather tried to talk to me, but I still couldn't talk. It was like I was forcing myself in not talking.

A few days after, we finally came back to my hometown. They did everything to help me feel back at home. They would take care of my brother so that I wouldn't worry, and even got me back in school.

Everything was looking up. Another thing I should of mentioned is that my parents started to fight a few weeks before going back in my hometown. It would sometimes go from a small disagreement to a full blown yelling contest.

I would always lock myself and my brother in the bathroom and tried to distract my brother by playing with him.

When we got in my hometown, the fights seemed to have gotten worse. I could get a full blown panic attack when ever people would yell at me. I would shut down until was alone in my room when I would start to cry and curl into a ball.

One day, my mom decided that it was enough for her, and decided to leave him. He began to cry, begged on his knees to my mom to let him stay. But she refused. He asked my grandfather if he could atleast sleep in the car in our parking yard but he refused. He came into my room and told me that my mom didn't want him anymore.

In some ways, I knew this was happening. My mom told me, and it gave me trust issues. Mostly towards men and love in general.

I was struggling with sexuality at the time. I was interested in guys romantically, but then I started to get into girl's as well. I come from a strict Christian family, (and I am a proud Christian as well) but most of my family, apart from my cousins, were some what against the lgbtq+. Like, they supported the people who were outside of the family. If it's outside of the family, they would be fine. So I was scared of coming out as bi-curious.

I told me mom one day, in a care ride but she told me that the moment I started to date, that I can't be bi. Even though you don't have to date to know that your sexually interested in the opposite gender.

This is already a long post, I'm sorry. I just wanted to get this out of my chest. I want to get therapy but like I said I'm very closed off with my emotions and my mom wouldn't believe me. I already made a post about my room situation.

Again, I'm sorry for this lengthy post. I just wanted to get this off of my chest, and no one that knows me personally is here so I don't have to worry.

If anything wants to ask for anything, feel free as long as it's not too personal (than it already is lol)

[fictionalplagueproductions]

If The World Was Ending

Part 3 - You’d Come Over, Right?

Part 1   Part 2   Part 3

Story Summary: Gavin is on the hunt for his missing android when the U.S. Government announces the end of the world. The end of his world. A world without his precious Nines.

Chapter Summary: Gavin’s search comes to a heartbreaking discovery and he must now decide what he is willing to lose in order to keep what he has gained.

Pairing: Reed900 (RK900 x Gavin Reed)

Rating: Explicit (NSFW)

A/N: Sorry for the long wait! I know I should be appreciative because I have two jobs that are considered essential during this pandemic which offer great hours and CAT pay, but I feel like a lifeless workaholic rn with school finals in a literal week. Anyway, I hope everyone is doing well during these difficult times. If anyone is interested, I do take requests for one-shots (especially Reed900) for many fandoms. Just PM and I’ll see what I can do. Also, if you have never heard of Detroit Evolution and you ship Reed900, check it out! It’s a 75-minute fan film dedicated to the ship and I HIGHLY recommend it (gif is an actual scene from the film). Cuteness overload. Lastly, I am considering making an actual Reed900 one-shot based on another song. You can check out my work on AO3 or Fanfiction.net! Enjoy!

“Do you have any fucking idea what I’ve been through today?”

The swollen, tear-streaked cheeks on his lover’s face gave Nines a clue.

“I searched for you for hours! You couldn’t have sent me a goddamn text?”

Nines wished communication had been possible. Cyberlife would have tapped his servers within a heartbeat and tracked him down, leaving Gavin’s apartment a mess in the aftermath.

“I even found Connor still blubbering around. He told me about your stupid, little plan.” The pitiful man tugged at his hair mangled in distraught. “What happened to all those times you wouldn’t shut up about androids being superior? What the fuck were you thinking?”

Guilt struck Nines.

He thought it unlikely that Gavin would even bother searching Anderson’s home after the front the lieutenant had elected to put up for their safety. He thought it even more unlikely that Connor, a machine developed for the comfort of his human counterparts, would reveal Nines’ heartbreaking arrangement.

“I…I thought you were dead.”

He almost had been.

Nines’ original intention was to spare his android brother from the inevitable fatality of his species. Two RKs could not exist with the same familiar face. The humans would eventually notice, regardless if they had both relocated halfway across the world and scalped themselves of their LEDs. Even if their charades were believed, Nines was android through and through. Why should he be forced to pretend he was something he was not? No, Connor was more human than himself. He was the one who deserved to make it in this carbon-ruled world.

Gavin’s definitive words came out a dying whisper: “I thought you had left me.”

A churning sensation swirled Nines’ insides as he watched the broken man stumble before him. Sincerity was not an emotion he needed to readily practice, as he did not lie often, but he found even himself feeling rejected by his own words. “I’m here now.”

The response was simple, vague enough to dodge and nullify all of Gavin’s worries.

It wasn’t enough.

He stepped forward towards his human who now leaned heavily into the back of the couch, grimacing in fear of an image invisible to Nines. It cracked the straight face he had framed over his growing trepidation. “I’m here,” he repeated breathlessly.

Gavin seemed to fumble out of his terror, tearing a sharp inhale through his shuddering body and eventually allowing Nines to view his beaten soul through grieving lenses. Words would not suffice this time. It was one of the few moments that it clicked for Nines that words were just not enough.

Humans were such delicate creatures at times – his even moreso. The psychological issues he wielded piled into a mountain of stress-induced rage and caffeine-fueled insecurities. Just a little search through his social media lit up the diagnostic centers of Nines’ CPU in an array of colors far more paramount than the human eye could even begin to elucidate.

But as much as he could prove the dishevelment of his partner and all of humanity, neither could he deny his own deviant chaos rampaging indecision and hesitance in his day-to-day actions. He was slower now, more volatile to his environment, and almost no more could he distinguish subjective constructs now than over his previous machine-like state. He was truly living, as the humans often said, “the worst of both worlds”.

Nines was just as broken as Gavin in his own fashion. Except, despite it all, Gavin mended him in such indescribable complementing ways that none of it mattered.

The android clicked one foot forward, asking silently for permission to embrace him. It still surprised him to this day that there were ways of communicating with just a lift of the finger, but only with others one knew well. And Gavin, he could read like a book.

When Gavin released his clenched eyebrows from their angered posture, Nines presumed the reciprocal. Their “chemistry” had been undisturbed by his absence. He made haste in closing the distance, grappling needily onto the life-form already unfolding beneath him. Hands clenched into balls of fabric against his back and Nines melted under the sticky mess that clung to his neck.

Rarely did Gavin cry, but this time around, a waterfall had already begun to soak the top seam of his t-shirt.

The ability to cry was lost upon Nines. Sadness overwhelmed him, understanding the hurt his human had endured, but unsure if he even equipped tear ducts to perform such an action. Feeling pain was one thing; expressing it was entirely new. The quaking beneath him, nonetheless, wrenched at his thirium pump, and he so desperately wished to quake with his lover.

Eventually, Gavin ceased and unceremoniously dug his fingers through Nines’ hair and pressed their noses side-by-side. His eyes were glued shut as he pressed his wet cheeks against his android. The soggy touch was like velcro against Nines and he chased that feeling of a sobbing solace.

The android copied his partner’s actions and clutched his palms to either side of his head, smearing Gavin’s tear-stained face against his own and absorbing the physical exudations of emotion. The wet heat was so raw on his synthetic skin that Nines didn’t think when it retracted on contact, leaving his pearly plastic to glimmer under the tainted blue water that began to leak from the corners of his eyes. At first, it wasn’t much, trailing faint streaks of cyan behind the aqueous movements. But when Gavin realized the heart-wrenching moan that escaped Nines, he looked to him with such a mixture of pain and clemency that provoked a heavier round of blue artillery.

The android’s face became a painting illustrated by nothing more than his fear and affections to which Gavin happily contributed his own sultry paintbrush.

The resolve came quick for Gavin, and he tentatively watched Nines recollect his own bearings. “I’m sorry, I-”

“Shut the fuck up,” snapped Gavin, though no cruelty met his tone. “You’re okay. You’re okay?”

His android nodded, relishing in the bath that carried away his burgeoning emotions. Gavin held their faces still together, touching his lips stiffly against Nines. He had intended for nothing more than to be replenished by the idea of his lover existing within his grasp once again, but Nines seemed to bite in excess. The android’s tongue slipped between Gavin’s teeth, releasing a burst of iron from his ingested robot tears, and let it run rampant within his mouth.

The kiss wasn’t enough for Nines to convince his partner how much he missed him. He yielded his tongue from Gavin’s taste buds and lapped up the tears along his cheeks, sampling the crystallizing sodium and nibbling down his jawline.

Gavin moaned beneath him, his shockwave of dread dissipating into unhinged eroticism. If he had learned anything from years of failed relationships, it was that emotional turmoil made sex all the better.

The excitement incited within Gavin’s pounding chest turned arrhythmic when his android lifted him into his arms, shoving him against the wall behind him, and pushing into him with the testosterone of a bull. After enduring months of awkwardly finding their way around each other, it was an understatement to say that Gavin was surprised by Nines’ newfound wanton initiative.

Surprised, certainly, but not in the slightest disappointed.

He returned the actions tenfold, forcing their mouths to dance and recklessly tearing at the jacket that restricted his eyes from the beauty of his boyfriend’s bare chest. Nines let go of Gavin, using the wall to balance him against his groin, and tossed his jacket and turtleneck in one swift motion across the couch. The android’s own impatience erupted under a low grumble as he dropped Gavin onto the couch and clambered over top of him, shoving his human’s arms in the air to slip his tee off.

Nines worshipped the skin-to-skin contact. Since activation, he had come to cherish the vivid sensations of heat. Against his endothermic mammalian body, Nines soaked in the warmth that radiated from Gavin; against the words from his boyfriend that endeared him so heavily, he intoxicated his insides in benevolent wildfire. At times, he feared he would melt.

Melting was a fair price to experience the touch of fire.

And fire was what blazed within him as he felt his new component roar to life. It was even more pleasing to watch Gavin’s eyes stretch in wonder as he realized that his hardening member would no longer be grinding alone. Nines, though he tried maintaining his dominant pose, fell victim to the gasps that his lover relinquished underneath the length that overpowered his inferior, human phenotype.

Nines’ nibbling grew into starved bites, sinking lower and lower below his human’s neck. Despite the red blood that pulsed beneath his skin, shades of purple surfaced in splotches beneath the android’s teeth. They eventually created a trail to his waistband, his tongue dipping deep beneath the surface to test the waters. Gavin hummed in permissiveness. Nines palmed between his lover’s legs, unbuttoning his jeans and sheltering the member that popcorned into plaid boxers over his salivating tongue He kept his palate suctioned tightly around the tip of his cock, dampening the fabric and earning a playful tug at his bowed locks.

The soft moans his lover made set fire to Nines’ steadily growing impatience and he pulled the fabric barriers down to Gavin’s knees and inhaled the hardened flesh down to his throat. An unanticipated upward thrust pushed his cock even further and Nines indulged hungrily. Pre-cum was already dribbling onto his taste receptors and he craved to know what damages an entire mouthful would cause to his system.

His curiosities would have to be satiated at a later date, because Gavin – at his most human – demanded his own impatience be tended to. He clung to the android’s synthetic hair and pulled him up to his abandoned orifice. With as much brash force as he could manage, the human kicked off the rest of his clothing, slipping restless fingers under Nines’ own jeans, and winced as the android bucked under the feeling, pinching his dick under the metal zipper. Immediately upon impact, Nines lifted up from Gavin to prevent any more harm, but it only offered Gavin the leverage to shove what little clothing remained between their unappeased debauchery, and eyeing the massive cock that his lover had chosen for himself.

For a moment, he was breathless, apprehensive of the image set before him. Though Nines had not been his first gay sexual encounter, he had certainly never dated a man that could compete against Detroit’s Largest Bratwurst contest.

Nines could feel his stare. “Is it…satisfactory?”

Gavin could only grin his answer. “Ready to take it for a spin?”

Without waiting for a response, Gavin slid down the couch underneath his virgin boyfriend and placed a moist tongue against the skin beneath his tightly-clung balls. He flicked his tongue teasingly against the hairless strip before engulfing a single sac into his mouth and lightly sucking. Nines gave out, falling to all fours and gasping at the strange sensation.

The man wished he could see Nines’ face. He might be a machine built with bells and whistles that only ever sported the most aggressive resting bitch face, but the noises his lover made now were enough to make his own groin boil with pure bliss. Faint robotic mimics of pleasure raced across Gavin’s imagination and he rewarded the plausible responses by licking up the underside of his dick and kissing the soft flesh that fit like a gagball in his mouth. There was something so satisfying about bringing a hard-ass like Nines down to his knees; about having a hard-ass like Nines allowing Gavin to show him the true pleasures of humanity.

Nines hadn’t minded in the slightest. Deviancy had graced him with minimal traces of pride and did as he pleased regardless of what others thought of it. And although Gavin did not share these same traits, Nines was contented, nonetheless, to understand firsthand what tonsils felt like in their natural habitat. The android hadn’t been interrupted by his visual software windows often, but the way his lover hummed along his new member made the pop-ups block everything in sight, turning the world red in a flurry of error messages.

He had lost a good portion of his reserve amounts of thirium from the tears that he had been surprised to relinquish earlier. Now his CPU was requesting permission to tap into his main supply of bodily thirium already coursing through his plastic arteries. He struggled with the proper demand, desiring to feel immense waves of pleasure built contingently upon Gavin’s persistent tonguing, but ultimately he had to decline. He wasn’t sure how much thirium would be released; if there was too much that prevented his function, they were no longer living in times that Gavin could just meander into the nearest convenience store to pick up a bottle of “Blueberry Go-Go”.

Another error message interrupted the magnificent view of his lover choking below him. He was overheating.

Nines ripped away from Gavin, heaving under the frustration of his pulsating, wet cock. A familiar look of hurt flickered in his boyfriend’s eyes, but Nines was quick to place two reassuring hands on his shoulders. “I can’t absolve myself. I would be wasting my thirium…”

Gavin piped in with a pleading tone, “I have plenty.”

“You do?”

He nodded. “I stocked up on some last week after…” Gavin blushed, moving to touch his lover’s face. “…you know.”

The android’s first instinct was to feel relief, wanting to continue their relations and experience the sweet pleasure of a human orgasm. Then, a lighthearted afterthought pushed against his vivacious libido. “You were looking forward to doing this again?”

“Yeah, yeah,” grumbled Gavin, realizing the sweet-bitten look his boyfriend infected him with., “I bought you your blue juice. I guess it worked out pretty well considering the circumstances. Do you want to stop? It might be harder to-”

Nines answered his boyfriend by shoving him back into his subordinate position and breaking the skin of his luscious lips between his teeth. He dug claws into Gavin’s hips and gripped them like reins, grinding his monstrous dick against one that dwarfed in comparison.

Gavin, for once, didn’t mind being as small as he was, internally begging to feel Nines’ throbbing cock against his tight hole. Nines read his mind, dropping Gavin completely and demanding him to “suck me” with a cutting stare that made him indubitably obey.

When the android was dripping in saliva once again, he bent over to suck off the warm member below him, dipping to Gavin’s leveled waist and twirling his cock underneath the loose sack that melted over top of him. The android tested the feeling, appreciating the damp nook that his lover exposed to him, waiting for an objection. When none came, he pushed slowly into the puckered hole, staring blankly into the squirming man below him, though desperately trying not to break the dominant persona that had overtaken him.

It took milliseconds for the error messages to pop up once more, but Nines ignored them for the time being. He wanted to watch the pleasure melt into his lover’s eyes as he sunk deeper into the ever-tightening walls. When he thought the moans couldn’t draw out any longer, he extracted himself up to his tip, desiring to hear Gavin’s pleas. The man did not satisfy this desire, automatically slamming his naked ass over the android’s cock and ripping a glass-shattering moan that involuntarily sprung red alerts across his ocular view. If he did not accept to its terms, it would override his own demands, but he was not ready.

No, he wasn’t ready to –

Gavin curled his legs around his waist and clung fervently, grinding wantonly against his biocomponent. Suddenly, the alerts began to flicker statically, and Nines erupted without caution. He growled against his lover’s gasps, indiscriminately nipping at his cheek and shaking under the pulses that charged heavy projectiles into the dark cave of his pleasure.

This only seemed to provoke Gavin’s excitement further, intriguingly enough to Nine’s observations. He slapped harder against the android, thrusting his cock upwards into the heated skin above him and relishing in the liquid that squirted from his ass under each solid movement. When Nines regained some of his strength, he forced himself onto his elbows and enjoyed the unveiled show of his boyfriend climaxing around him.

A flash of anger appeared on Gavin’s face before he made a corporeal demand by guiding the android’s hand over his loaded member. Nines understood almost immediately, sitting up straight and stroking promptly the small dick in his firm grasp.

The man’s waist followed Nines’ towering movements, suddenly coming to touch his sweet spot and focusing his movements on that single area. The android glared down at him expectantly. Did he know how hot he looked when he acted so serious? Gavin assumed he did when he began to buck against him, digging straight into the spot that made his vocal cords weak. The fire in his ass consumed his entire being, releasing audible spasms throughout his body that coated his chest in a familiar sticky substance.

Nines continued to stroke him even after, unbelieving of the pleasurable writhing of which his lover was capable. Gavin had to clench onto the android’s wrist to stop the movements, needing to relax against the frigid state he had experienced for probably too long. He slid off of his boyfriend’s cock, relieving a sigh, and then a sad moan when a loneliness settled within his emptied hole.

“I don’t think I could ever go back.” The look on the android’s face was incredulous as he sat back on his heels.

“Go back to what?”

“Being a machine,” said Nines. “I love you. I love… being with you. I’m not human, but I can’t be… I can’t be a machine.”

Gavin hushed him, only rising to pull his lover into the cushions beside of himself. He pressed his lips gently against Nines, wrapping his body wet from any and all bodily fluids around his and nestling his face into his chest. “You don’t have to worry about what you are. You’re you. That’s all that matters.”

Though Gavin was unable to see the realization that crossed Nines’ expression, the android smiled and hugged his human tighter. All this time, he had been obsessed with labeling himself into either box. He hadn’t stopped to consider that he was just him. Nines was a sentient being that loved working as a detective, that loved beating people at chess, and that loved this man. Nines was Nines.

Why should he deserve less than others to live this life he was granted? Even if he was granted this life in non-traditional ways.

Yes, Nines smiled. He was not human, but he was himself. As he was Gavin’s.

He looked to the unknowingly wise man beneath him and kissed the sweat-stuck bangs along his forehead.

“I love you,” breathed Gavin. His tone was rigidly quiet, signaling the beginning stages of a drifting sleep.

Nines’ smile grew broader. “I love you,” he whispered back, slipping the blanket that hung over the back of the couch over their sleeping forms. “You won’t ever lose me.”

The End? You Decide.

The next morning, Gavin awoke to daylight seeping through the window shades, a pillow crushed between his arms. The body that had entered the darkness with him did not greet him on the other side.

Stumbling to his feet, the gruff man eyed the open floor plan, pacing down the hallway when Nines had not appeared in his view. Hints of panic began to travel through his veins upon the inspection of an empty bedroom. Then, with one last desperate pounce at the bathroom door, immense terror struck Gavin when the site was void. Immediately, Gavin fisted a washcloth over his dick uncleaned from the night before and threw on a pair of boxers crumpled on the tiled floor.

As his fingers wrapped around the doorknob, a red reflection caught his eye in the mirror, and he stopped. The source was circular, pulsing in a dying light of slow movements amongst the mess of toiletries. At the same moment, his front door clicked open and he engaged the guilty suspect in the living room with his respective organ laid in-hand.

“What the fuck were you doing? And what the fuck is this?”

Nines was dressed in one of Gavin’s maroon sweatshirts but wore the same black jeans (assuming he probably could not squeeze into a pair of his).

“I can’t be android anymore. I needed to rid myself of it if I were to ever have a chance of not being spotted. I’m sorry, I know I must have worried you.” The android shifted uncomfortably beneath Gavin’s scowl. “I needed to see Connor and the Lieutenant one last time.”

“What do you mean ‘one last time’?”

Nines visibly dropped. “I can’t stay in Detroit, Gavin. Neither can Connor. I thought you knew that?”

Gavin hadn’t thought of it. He had been too busy trying to find his boyfriend and later trying to convince himself that his boyfriend was still in existence and not some illusion. After that… he had no clue what the plan was. Perhaps, to just continue enjoying a love he had thought he lost.

“I love you,” continued Nines when Gavin had not. “If moving is too much, then I cannot force you to go. But, if I may add, my life is empty without my purpose as a detective; and it is also selfish to keep when it could imperil Connor’s safety. You are why I could not yet exterminate myself, Gavin. You were my first and last thought before stepping into one of those camps. If you say goodbye today, then I will understand, but please, I beg you to reconsider.”

Speechlessness was a rare condition for Gavin. His hand went slack, and he gaped with consternation, letting the LED clunk to the floor. From the first moment he had opened his eyes to this disgusting world, he had been a sour man. Although there were a few hidden gems, none of them compared to the way Nines had made him feel: so important, so loved. Could he really give that up to return to his life of android discrimination? For years, he despised their very being, hoping for the government to come to the consensus that they had finally arrived to. But now was different, now he was hopelessly in love with an android. An android built incapable of love who was now inconceivably begging for Gavin to stay. Was there even a level of shitty that existed within him to say no?

Despite the severity of the situation, Nines did not express a distinguishable emotion. His intense stare locked onto Gavin, nearly piercing straight through him into the void that was preparing for denial. The irony was not lost upon him, realizing that it was the android just last night promising he would never leave the despondent man; the tables were turned now. Gavin could provide it for him, it was not impossible to uproot his life and start fresh elsewhere.

Did he even have that much to lose? His still vocal cords told him he did.

For as much as Gavin hated many things, he would miss the familiarity of the DPD. He would miss the break room’s horrible coffee and fucking with Anderson on a daily. He would miss going on lunches to random places that Tina suggested and spitting out whatever dish she forced down his throat. He would even miss his damned broken chair that never stayed at the right height long enough for him to type up a single report. Yeah, as much as he hated a lot of it, he would miss this life.

But the pain that ripped through his chest when he realized Nines could have been gone forever… it was an unmistakably violent feeling he wouldn’t elect for anyone else to experience. The sheer rawness of his insides tortured his mind to the extent of self-harm. He would never admit to it, not even to himself, but the state of his existence was a questionable case had Nines not confronted him in his own apartment last night. A future without Nines was…indisputable.

That didn’t make the prospect of the change less difficult.

The befuddled man turned away and traveled to the far window, capturing a glance at the skyscrapers framed by the sill in his living room. Then, he turned, crossing his arms and meeting Nines’ line of sight. “Can we just enjoy one day without it all? No politics, no moving, no dumbass decisions like scalping your LED and putting yourself in danger. Just – one – day?”

The floor became a source of answers for Nines when it was made obvious that he did not care for his boyfriend’s. Without another word, the android joined Gavin by the window and folded him into his arms. Neither were unsure how long they could last there without discussing this emphatic problem, but neither wanted to know. And so they stood quietly in each other’s presence; Nines listening to the light breaths of his lover, and Gavin melting into the thrums of his android’s thirium pump.

Nines pressed his palm into Gavin’s tangled hair, inhaling his oily effervescence, and pressing his lips to the side of his temple. The man relaxed into his chest and smiled.

If the world ended right now, all their fears of their future would be completely irrelevant. There would be no reason Nines would have to decide whether life was worth living if Gavin denied him, nor would there be reason for Gavin to worry about leaving his old life behind.

If the world ended, there would be no reason for them to even say goodbye. They would be as they were, encompassing one another and riding out their affections until their beating organs failed.

Nines watched the outside world while he felt his lover inversely lose himself from it. They held each for what felt like hours. They held each other as the clouds passed from one corner of the window to the next.

They held each other and Nines watched coolly as the blue skies were shielded with roaring oranges that blocked out the sun.

They held each other until Nines could feel the ground tremble and he shushed his slumbering human back into his chest.

They held each other until Gavin inhaled a finalized breath, never to be proceeded by a relinquishing exhale.

Nines held on until his own systems depleted and he could no longer hold.

“I love you.”

[romanceismycallingcard]

50 questions tag!

I got tagged by @bl-crossingtheline​! Hello darling! Sorry I’m so late on this. Needed a good block of time and then I just kept forgetting. 😜😂

Questions:

what color is your hairbrush? Aqua/Teal

name a food you never eat: Brussel sprouts. And fish.

are you typically too warm or too cold? Um... in winter I’m just perpetually cold. I prefer to be on the warmer side. But as I’ve gotten older that’s changed a little bit. But I don’t know if I’m like always cold or whatever.

what were you doing 45 minutes ago? lol eating fresh home made sour dough bread with my family.

what’s your favorite candy bar? 100 grand bars

have you ever been to a professional sports game? yes. a hockey game with my family and brothers’ hockey teams. 

what’s the last thing you said out loud?: My brother was leaving so I yelled BYEEEEE HAVE A NICE DAY from my room and he said NO~! YOU HAVE A NICE DAY! so then I said FINE IF YOU’RE FORCING ME TO. lol. That was one of our nicer interactions 😂

what’s your favorite ice cream?: anything with caramel or maybe moosetracks. Or just plain vanilla cuz it’s classic, yummy, and underappreciated.

what was the last thing you had to drink? milk

do you like your wallet?: Yes! I do! I found it years ago at a thrift store and it was just perfect for me. It’s black with a pretty metal thing with engraved flowers on it. It zips closed AND there’s a coin pouch inside. And it’s the kind that folds in half rather than the kind that looks like a clutch purse which I’m really glad about because the clutch purse shaped ones seem to almost never be quite the right size - either too big or too small and sometimes the latch breaks so then it just flops open. :P

what’s the last thing you ate? sour dough bread

did you buy any new clothes last weekend? um.... no. But i did this last Friday cuz I had to pick up some things from Walmart and I impulse bought a $10 dress that looked comfy and light weight and casual and I can wear it on days when I don’t want to wear pants. I didn’t have a good dress for days like that before.

what’s the last sporting event you watched? uh...... i don’t. Unless my friend showing me a two minute compilation clip of the danish (i think?) sport of jumping over rivers with a pole counts. or unless watching super junior perform counts. 

what is your favorite flavor of popcorn? butter + salt or white cheddar

who’s the last person you sent a text to? real texting it was a mom I babysit for. But more recently than that I was messaging blue (musicdramalove) on tumblr.

ever go camping? my family used to go camping a lot - like at least once a year. But we haven’t for several years now since all my siblings and I are adults now. I think I might’ve gone with friends a couple years ago though. idk.

do you take vitamins? nope. If I get sick, I drink a looooooot of orange juice.

do you go to church every sunday? yeah

do you have a tan? not right now. hopefully I will by the end of summer (if not June)

do you prefer chinese or pizza? chinese (but pizza’s good too)

do you drink soda through a straw? not unless I order it at a restaurant and it’s in a glass. But that’s rare. I usually order water or sometimes a cocktail.

what color socks do you usually wear? I have a set that’s cream, a couple greys, and white, and I have a set that’s cream, grey and light pink.

do you ever drive above the speed limit? heck yeah. Usually I keep it to about 5-10 above. But it also depends on what streets I’m on.

what terrifies you? Failing at working a career job or living a miserable life or being alone forever with no one to take care of me when I’m sick.

look to your left, what do you see? my purse on the floor next to my dresser

what chore do you hate the most? scrubbing my shower/bathtub.

what do you think of when you hear an australian accent? steve the animal guy or liam and chris hemsworth or KJ Apa or Rebel Wilson. Or the other day when I was talking to my nanny kiddos about accents and the girl and I could do decent-ish british accents but absolutely failed at an Aussie accent

what’s your favorite soda? root beer

do you go in fast food places or just hit the drive thru? depends on the day or sometimes the line of cars in the drive thru

what’s your favorite number? 4. idky but I’ve always thought of it as my lucky number. Plus I just like it. It’s even. It’s small. 2 + 2 = 4 and 2 x 2 = 4.

who’s the last person you talked to? my brother when I was yelling bye to him.

favorite cut of beef? yeah i really don’t know or care

last song you listened to? We by Yesung

last book you read? honestly can’t even tell you.

can you say the alphabet backwards? YES I CAN AND I’M VERY PROUD ABOUT THIS

favorite day of the week? mmm..... saturday because I usually see my friends on saturday and also refuse to do homework on saturdays.

how do you like your coffee? with a big scoop of hot chocolate powder and quite a bit of half and half. sometimes I forego the chocolate powder but my preference is to have it. 

favorite pair of shoes? oooh..... I love my shoes. I have so many that I like. um... okay I’m gonna say it’s this one pair of brown heels I have. They look kinda like leather, orangey-brown, 4in tall heel, and they’re almost like ankle boots because the material goes to just below my ankle. They look amazing with skinny jeans.

time you normally get up? mm..... somewhere between 8 and 9 I guess if I wake up naturally. But I have to get up at 6:15 for work and 7am on days when I have church bc I’m head of nursery (but church is at 10am and online cuz quarantine)

sunrise or sunsets? hm.... I guess sunset bc it sets behind the mountains and it’s gorgeous.

how many blankets on your bed? rn 1 really light one cuz summer’s basically here.

describe your kitchen plates? white with a red and grey design on them with a red border on the edge

describe your kitchen at the moment? currently a mess bc things are being moved around and sorted and everything is everywhere. Other than that, it’s got a sink, fridge, oven, dishwasher, you know, the uszh. 

do you have a favorite alcoholic drink? mm.... right now I guess my go to is a moscato wine. I think that’s my favorite thing right now. You can call me a wimp but hey it’s a step up from Mike’s hard mango punch. I also really like mules.

do you play cards? yes.

what color is your car? silver. and it annoys me bc it looks like every other unimpressionable unremarkable unmemorable car out there :p

can you change a tire? .............................................no.

your favorite state/province/county/etc.? MINE

favorite job you’ve had? my babysitting job for a neighborhood family. I’ve been babysitting them for about 7 years now and I have been with them for two of their kids’ births and I’ve gotten to watch them grow up and develop personalities and learn about life and it has been such a fun experience and blessing to me.

how did you get your biggest scar? okay so I don’t know about biggest, but the one that I’ve probably had the longest and is still clearly visible is one that’s on my foot. It’s about a cm long and is about an inch or so in from the base of my second toe on my right foot. I got it when I was... I think a sophomore in high school when my family visited my bro and sis-in-law out of state for Thanksgiving. I went to grab a bottle of sparkling apple cider out of the fridge but, in the process of grabbing it or moving something aside or something, the bottle of sparkling cider fell out of the fridge onto the tile floor right next to my foot and SHATTERED. I was frozen in shock. Didn’t know what to do. Felt embarrassed and felt bad about the broken bottle and mess. I didn’t even realize until my mom and sis-in-law were cleaning up the floor around me that there was a small shard of glass somewhat embedded in my foot. I don’t remember feeling any pain from it. I think I was probably still in shock. But I still have the scar. 

Tagging: I don’t really know and I’m tired so ANYONE WHO WANTS TO 😊

[baroquebucky]

Request : your ex boyfriend whom you broke up with on good friends comes to visit on a birthday party organized by your current boyfriend Bucky. Bucky feels overshadowed and threatened . Angst and fluff pls

A/N: okay i am LIVING for this honestly, jealous!bucky is a fave !!!! sorry if this sucks :-( keep requesting pls

You didn’t want a famous Stark party for your birthday, you wanted a cute small get together with all your friends and your boyfriend. You had college though, and you were an avenger, so time didn’t really exist for you. Let alone enough time to plan a whole party. So of course you dropped small hints to your beloved Bucky.

“you know these two colors go really well together” “oh this cake is SO yummy!!” “i think this playlist is perfect for something like a laid back but FUN party!” “oh these decorations are amazing”

These subtle hints continued for about a week, not including the bundles of texts you would send him while in class or when you were bored or walking the dog you had, and yes, you forced them to get a dog. And now tony created the little guy his own room, catered to his every need, but of course he preferred you over everyone else and was very protective of you. One time while cuddling on the couch he tried to bite bucky because he thought he was trying to kill you, let’s just say bucky flinches a bit now when the pupper jumps on you.

“Okay team. T minus 10 hours until show time. I need Tony and Rhodes on decorations, Bruce and Natasha on food duty- STRICTLY DESSERTS AND CAKE PLEASE, Clint and Sam on food food duty, Steve and Thor you’re on gifts, I’ve compiled a list, and i am over seeing everything as well as inviting everyone. ARE YOU READY TEAM” Bucky gave out the orders, everyone nodding their heads as they all put their hands in the middle. “This has to be PERFECT Y/N needs to know how much we appreciate her, assemble on 3!” “1, 2, 3” “ASSEMBLE” the heroes yelled out as they scrambled to get everything to perfection. People fighting over which super car to drive.

You however were already in class, running late but with iced coffee so it’s worth it. As you jogged into class rushing to your seat next to your ex. Yes your ex, you guys were great friends though so it was okay, you loved Bucky and he trusted you. “hey man i woke up early but still managed to be late? How does that even work?” You said slightly out of breath setting you bag down and pulling out this classes respective notebooks. “You always find a way Y/N” y/e/n smiled at your frantic actions.

As class came to a close you put away your things and headed to the colleges outdoor area, it’s where you hung out with a few people until your next class. “Mind if i join you today?” y/e/n asked you, “of course not! Cmon before i miss the dog i always pet” you beamed at them as you lightly jogged to meet the canine you loved. Your paths crossed only at that time of day and you were never late, you and the dogs owner, Angelica, became somewhat close thanks to this golden retriever. As you made slight small talk, you ended the conversation and you headed in different directions. As you talked to your ex and your other friends joined you they gave you a cupcake and sang you happy birthday. Time flew and before you knew it you were headed to your next class, ready the day to be over and to get home.

you checked your phone briefly before your class started and saw a text from bucky.

buckaroo: do you still talk to y/e/n ?

you quickly composed a text, yeah i just talked to him for like an hour rn lmao

You hit send and put your phone away as your professor began to talk about the upcoming test you had. After a few hand cramps from taking notes too fast, and trying to not fall asleep, the lesson was over and you were almost free. You had to go to the library quickly to get a book you needed for a report. As you made your way to the library you quickly replied to some birthday texts from friends and playing people back at iMessage games.

After getting the book you headed back to the compound, ready to shower, relax for a bit, and then party it up with you friends. But thats exactly what happened, but not in that order.

“T MINUS 30 MINUTES! HUSTLE PEOPLE HUSTLE IM 100 YEARS OLD AND I MOVE FASTER HURRY IT UP” Bucky shouted as the team finished the final details. It was beautiful, Bucky knew you would love it. The people he had invited flooded in as they were told specific places to hide to surprise you.

“Hey Bucky!” y/e/n called out to the super soldier. “Oh hey, it’s James by the way” Bucky said immediately dreading whatever came out of this assholes mouth. You said that he wasn’t that bad, just didn’t work out dating, Bucky however hated his guts, he lost you, the most amazing thing is all the nine realms and didn’t even feel bad about it. He wanted to punch the guys face in but he couldn’t get blood on the decorations. After forcing himself to your ex walked away and Bucky had to take a deep breath in to collect himself.

“T MINUS 39 SECONDS SHES HERE” Tony yelled as everyone took their places, Bucky grabbed a bouquet of your favorite flowers and opened the door. “hey doll, how was your day?” Bucky smooth talked you with a kiss on the cheek as he hid the flowers behind his back. “Pretty good honey and yours?” You asked hugging him and setting you bag down by the door. “Close your eyes” Bucky started firmly, you chuckled and did as you were told as he led you to the middle of the room. “Happy birthday doll” Bucky whispered in your ear as you opened your eyes.

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY” everyone yelled popping up with squeakers and those little blow out things you always loved. You stared in awe as you observed even the smallest of details, not one thing you had said had been left out. You looked at bucky who handed you the flowers and your eyes began to well up with tears. “It’s perfect baby” you smiled getting on your tippy toes to kiss him on the lips quickly. Bucky smiled and quickly kissed you back. “Go have fun baby” he smiled at you as you hugged him one last time before running off to your friends.

About an hour had passed and Bucky could not find you. And someone he spotted you in the corner of the room. With y/e/n. His blood ran cold as you smiled and laughed with him. He saw the way your ex looked at you, the way he put his hand lightly on your arm when he told a joke, and the way his eyes raked over your body as you got another drink. He hated it. As he began striding over to him, his metal arms whirring as he clenched his fists, a strong hand bragged him pulling him back. “Don’t buck. The last thing she’d want is a fight.” Steve told Bucky as he let out a shaky breath. Staring at you as your red dress fit you perfectly and you laughed at what was probably a horrible joke. You snatched his arm from Steve’s grip and walked the other way, the lights bouncing off his metal arm.

“Look at them. Look at her Steve, she’s all laughing and smiling and everything. He’s flirting! Just right there Steve!” Bucky huffed as he ran his hand though his hair angrily. “Go talk to her then” Steve said drinking some of what Thor brought him.

“Maybe she doesn’t love me anymore” He whisperered, watching you lean into your ex while laughing at something he said. He couldnt stand anymore of it.

Bucky stormed out as he headed to the fifth floor where the dog was and where the beautiful view of the city was. “Hey buddy” Bucky said softly as his chest sank lower and lower. The dog- Ace, sat next to him as his tail wagged glad to have some company. “Does she even love me anymore? I mean she’s so beautiful and I’m actually 100 years old. And did you see how she was acting with her ex? Her ex! As if i didn’t plan this whole fucking party for her, buy her exactly what she wanted and make everything perfect? And he suddenly waltzes in and she’s laughing with HIM?” Bucky furrows his eyebrows as he huffs out in anger his complaints. Ace lowly barking and making noises almost agreeing with him. “It’s like she has no respect for herself now” Bucky said immediately regretting his words.

“Wow.” A sad voice echoes behind him. He and ace quickly got up as he saw your standing a little bit behind you two. “No self respect huh? I throw myself at every guy? That’s what you’re saying?” You said angrily, hands shaking from either sadness or rage. “No Y/N you know i don’t mean that” Bucky pleases striding towards you grabbing your wrist. “Don’t touch me.” You stated voice cold.

“Well what the fuck do you expect? I do every fucking thing you tell me, hoping that you can at LEAST validate my efforts and be with me during the party I threw for you. But no. You’re off with you Ex of all people laughing and completely ignoring me.” Bucky said voice raising only a bit. The hurt was evident in his voice, but you were going to give in.

“I thought you trusted me? Do you think something is going on?” You looked at him, knowing that would make him feel bad. “No but it’s just seeing you look so happy with him, hurt.” Bucky whispered.

“Knowing you can have him and any other guy and be normal and live a normal life, with someone who isn’t as broken as I am, someone who doesn’t have to wait two months before being okay with holding hands. Seeing you so happy with him makes me wonder if you’re gonna find someone better and realize you can do so much better than the horrible thing I am.” Bucky whispered not being able to look into your eyes. Your chest hurt from hearing the words leave his mouth. You hated when he was like this.

“Look at me James.” You states sternly grabbing both of his hands in yours, putting two fingers under his chin and making him look at you with his blue eyes that melted your heart.

“I love you. Only you. I don’t care if i can have a ‘normal’ life. If normal means not you, i don’t want that. I want you James Buchanan Barnes. I want you and every one of you flaws. I want you and your good and bad days. I want you and only you. You’re my soulmate and nothing can change my mind. I understand if you think he was flirting and honestly he probably was, which is why i was laughing so much. He probably thinks he can take me back to make me like him again, but little does he know you could snap his neck with your pinky” you smiled at he let out a slight chuckle to your last comment. He pulled you into his chest as you wrapped your arms around him.

“I’m sorry for being such a loser on your big day” Bucky mumbled into your hair as he kissed your forehead. “You’re my loser, the party is still perfect angel” You said kissing his jaw. He stared down at you with pure love in his eyes. “We should probably go back and open presents huh” He smiled kissing your lips between each word. “mmm maybe we should” You said closing your eyes and savoring the moment.

The two of you left Ace to sleep and headed out silently as Bucky told you his plan to threaten your ex. You laughed at his fake macho voice and kissed him once more. “Thank you for everything bucky, really it’s perfect” you said sincerely. “Anytime doll” he smiled as you entered the booming room packed with all the familiar faces. As you wondered off to find something to cut the cake with, y/e/n came up to Bucky.

“There you are! Been looking for you, where’s Y/N?” He asked slyly. Bucky stood a little taller and let the light catch his metal arm. “Listen kid, I’m gonna tell you this once and only once. You flirt with my girl one more time, you try and ‘threaten’ me or try and overshadow me by hanging out with my girl, and I’ll make you wish you were dead. Hell you might actually be dead. Is that clear?” Bucky said in a deep voice close to his ear. He frantically nodded and quickly scampered away as you came back smiling.

“When will you ever learn James” you teased giving him a nudge and leading him to the table. “They gotta know who you belong to babygirl” he smirked as you blushed. “You’re just a big softie” you teased as you two enjoyed the rest of the night together and with friends.