#i’m literally so ready to leave at this point Good Fucking God
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fridayyy-13th · 3 months ago
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just about ready to throttle my brother how are y’all doing this morning
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too-deviant · 8 months ago
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freaky friday
OR… that one time you woke up in luke castellan’s body, told from the perspective of percy jackson.
Pairing: Luke Castellan x Fem!Demeter!Reader
Word Count: 4.2k
Content: the most loser loser!luke has ever loser-ed. this is sooo unserious like pls.
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Percy Jackson had only been at camp for a day, but he was completely sure that something was wrong. 
It started early Sunday morning — well, when he thought back on it, he guessed it might have started late Saturday night, when he woke up to a few of the older campers (Luke included) sneaking off out of the cabin and not coming back until the sun was peeking through the horizon. 
But he didn’t really think about it until Sunday morning — when the thing that startled him out of sleep was a loud shout of  “Holy Fuck!” echoing from the bathroom. He sat up, startled, and eyed the door along with everyone else. Then there was a yelp. 
“Oh my gods. No — this is, this isn’t real. Am I still — oh don’t touch that. That’s not yours. Jesus, Luke — No. Stop looking. Oh my gods.” 
A few campers shared some wary glances, asking the silent question of who’s going to investigate? Eventually, Chris (Percy thought, one of Luke’s friends from yesterday), stood up with a sigh and a raised brow, stepping over sleeping bags until he stood outside of the door. He looked at them all, the curious eyes of literally every kid there, and knocked slightly. There was another yelp. 
“Uh…” Chris blew out a puff of air, “Are you okay in there?” 
A few seconds of tense silence, then the door cracked open and Luke Castellan stuck his head out. He looked at Chris, at all the kids staring at him, and smiled stiffly, “I’m good. Don’t worry about me.”
He shut the door once more, the force blowing Chris’ hair back for a brief moment. The boy shrugged and nodded at everyone else to start getting ready because it was almost time for breakfast. He headed over to Percy, asked how his first night was, and left him to gather his bearings before they had to leave. 
The kids attempted to forget about Luke’s debacle in the bathroom, but when they started to get impatient about his hogging it, all disregard of his personal business went flying out of the window. One kid mustered the balls to knock, and then another shouted through the wood for him to hurry up. 
Just as one of the Stoll brothers was about to pick the lock himself and check out the situation, the door flew open, and Luke frowned at them from the doorway, “I’m done, my gods.” 
They looked at him — he was leaning against the now open door, hip bucked out and not a care in the world that he was in nothing but his underwear. He glanced at them, then at the kid who Percy thought was called Conor, and sneered in his face until the kid flinched back. When he did, Luke pushed the bathroom door until it hit the wall and gestured dramatically inside, “In you go.” 
Percy didn’t think he was the only one who was shocked by Luke’s sudden show of attitude. Sure, he’d only known the guy for a day, but he’d been super nice the whole time. Even when Percy was ready to give up on finding his skill, Luke was supportive and kind. Now, he just looked irritated at everyone in the room. Maybe he wasn’t a morning person. 
Yeah, that was probably it. 
Percy decided to let him wake up a bit instead of irritating him with questions about how the morning routine at camp usually went. Instead, he followed the lead of the kids around him and got himself ready before lining up along the wall. His face bloomed red when someone had to tell him to go to the back because he was new, but other than that he was doing somewhat alright. 
Chris and Luke were arguing quietly in the corner, being careful to ensure nobody else could hear their murmurs. At one point, Luke stepped up so he was nose to nose with Chris and the boy put his hands on his chest to push him back — only for Luke to sharpen his eyes down at them with such a scandalised look that even Percy was slightly confused from where he stood and watched. Luke folded his arms over his chest indignantly and Chris sent him a dumb look before muttering something that made Luke straighten and drop his arms once more. 
When the boys ceased their conversation and walked over, the kids pretended as if they hadn’t been watching their entire time
“Okayyy.” Luke spoke, huffing out a breath. He shot his hands out and waved them, “Let’s go.” Nobody moved, and he furrowed his brows, “Uh, onwards and upwards? Hop to? En guarde?” Silence greeted him and he rolled his eyes, clapping loudly, “Can yall just fuckin’ move?”
The kids at the front flinched slightly, deciding it best to just leave rather than wait for him to say his usual morning pick-me-up. Clearly he was having a bad day and they chose to leave him to his own devices. Percy followed at the back, and couldn’t help but listen as Chris muttered to him once more from behind him. 
“Can you at least try to act like a normal person, please?” 
“I am acting normal.”
“Luke Normal.” He paused, waiting. Percy guessed Luke must’ve agreed silently because the next thing he said was, “Thank you. Now get to the front of the line like the cabin counsellor you are.” 
Luke huffed, pushing past Percy to get to the front of the line. Chris followed, whispering something about Luke having a bad day and to just ignore him before jogging to catch up. The blonde boy had never felt so awkward — the only friend he’d made and the guy was skulking around like he hated the world only twelve hours after they’d met. 
He tried to brush it off by focusing on his breakfast — blue pancakes, blue cherry coke. Okay, not the healthiest option but he was having a bad weekend, let him live. 
Chiron came to find him a bit after that, asking Percy how he was settling in and if he was ready for the Capture the Flag game they were playing later. 
After that, Percy tried to avoid the prying eyes of Annabeth by spending his free hour in the Hermes cabin where she couldn’t get to him — only to walk in on something a lot more awkward. 
Luke was lying on the floor, groaning in pain. The smiley Demeter girl he had introduced Percy to the day before was on top of him, also groaning in pain. 
“Uh, are you guys okay?”
They flinched, scrambling off each other and pulling themselves to their feet. Luke brushed himself off and looked at Percy wide eyed, “It’s not what it looks like!”
“Seriously.” The girl said when Percy raised his brow. She shook her head slowly, “We would never —“
“Yeah.” Luke scoffed, “Like never ever.” 
The girl — Percy was still trying to remember her name — turned her head and looked at him blankly, “Okay. That wasn’t needed.”
“I’m just clarifying.”
“You didn’t need to sound so disgusted about it, though.” 
“Oh my god.” Luke scoffed a chuckle, shaking his head, “You’re such a guy.”
Percy screwed up his face, and Luke suddenly backtracked, “Uh, I mean — such a lie…er.” Even he looked confused by what he’d said. He straightened up and scoffed, waving his hands, “She wants me so bad. Right? Bro?” He held out a fist, but Percy just looked at it. 
The girl, who had swiftly knocked his hand back to his side and stepped slightly in front of him, smiled kindly like she had yesterday when she’d asked how Percy was feeling about the sudden change in his life. “Sorry for scaring you, Perce. We’re just talking about something. Did you have a question?” 
“Yeah, actually.” He looked at her, “Are you in pyjamas?” 
She looked down at herself like she was just remembering her white tank top and fleece pyjama pants with bats printed on them, and Luke laughed into his fist. Upon hearing his chuckles, she swivelled back to glare at him, “Hey, don’t laugh at me! Would you rather me undress you?” 
“What?” Percy asked. He was ignored. 
Luke took a step back and held up one finger, “Uh, no. I don’t need you looking at my tits, perv.” 
“What?” Percy tried again. 
The girl scoffed, looking away from him and muttering under her breath, “Kinda hard not to when they get hot in the night and climb out of your shirt.” 
Luke gasped and put his hands to his chest, “Oh my gods.” 
“I tried not to look but they were right there — !”
"Well — " Luke stammered for a rebuttal, eventually pointing in accusation at the girl beside him, "You had morning wood!
"What — ?!"
“Hey, guys!” Percy finally interrupted, and they looked at him in surprise like they’d forgotten he’d been standing there the whole time. “What the hell is going on?”
The two shared a look, but it was you who stepped forward and looked at him kindly, “Nothing you should worry about. You’ve had a tough weekend already, just pretend you never saw us.” 
Percy was tempted to refuse and force them to spill the beans, but they were two older campers who could very well send him to detention or whatever it was they did here for punishment — he wasn’t keen on finding out. So he left with a nod and closed the door behind him. 
Your voice drifted through the window, “—can’t believe you wear batman pyjamas.”
“At least I wear pyjamas.” Luke responded, “You left very little to my imagination this morning.” 
He walked off before he could hear anymore. 
He didn’t see either of you again until just before lunch. He was walking through camp with Grover, half-listening to his friend yap about a blueberry bush he thought was cute, when they passed you and your sisters giggling about something near the forges. 
“Gods, he’s cute, though.” One of them was saying, eyeing up a boy with soot all over his face. Percy couldn’t see much of him to determine him as cute, but your sisters seemed to agree with a loud dreamy sigh. 
“He is, don’t get me wrong.” Another girl added, “But consider this: Lee Fletcher.”
“Oh, yeah.” 
“He’s got potential. He’s got potential.” 
Percy found himself slowing down, the teenage boy in him wondering if someone would mention his name. Of course they wouldn’t — he’s twelve, and they’re all around yours and Luke’s age, but a boy could dream. 
One of the girls clicked her tongue, looking at you, “Who was it you said was sorta dreamy the other day?”
Percy watched you freeze, suddenly looking very awkward. You took a deep breath in and pretended to think about what you were going to say, but one of your sisters chimed in for you.
“It was Astor. The Ares kid with the curly hair.” 
“Oh yeah!”
“What?” You exclaimed, scrunching up your face. When your sisters looked at you all confused, you backtracked, “Uh, I mean yeah he’s…cute.” You forced the word out with difficulty, “But, I dunno. There's cuter guys out there.”
“Oh?” Your sister said, interested, “Who are you thinking?”
Now you were on the spot. You swallowed, making these exaggerated facial expressions that Percy assumed were you trying to convince the girls that you had just come up with this idea, when you’d actually probably been wanting to say it the whole time you’d been talking and just needed an excuse, “Oh, I don’t know…” You shrugged, “Luke Castellan’s sorta…y’know?”
The girls looked between each other, and you watched with slight anticipation. Then one of them, the one who had mentioned Lee Fletcher earlier, said, “I swear you said he was too full of himself.”
“What —?”
“Yeah, she did.” The other chimed in, “You said he would be cuter if he didn’t — what was it? — flaunt around camp like he had the biggest cock out of all of ‘em.”
The girls laughed, and you attempted a weak chuckle, but it sorta looked like you were in pain. Percy thought it best to walk off after that, looking for Grover who had long since left him to his eavesdropping devices and presumably wandered off into the forest to look for Blue the blueberry bush. 
So maybe Percy should’ve pressed harder when he’d cornered you and Luke earlier that morning. He thought he could brush it off, even when he kept seeing Luke lift up the hem of his shirt and poke at his abs in wonder, or when he saw you pushing your hair out of your face once every ten seconds before finally putting it in the messiest ponytail he’d ever seen. It was as if you had lost all sense of self overnight, like you'd never actually seen your own bodies before. It creeped him out, but he held back on asking. Maybe it was a demigod thing he hadn't been taught yet.
The straw that broke the camel's back, however, was after dinner. Usually when the nymphs take the plates away and the campers start to trickle down to the campfire, a few odd groups would stay behind at their tables, gossiping or finishing their desert until they had to get up and go — not only were you and your siblings part of this group of people, but so were Luke and Chris (and, by default because he had nobody else to hang out with, Percy). 
So the newcomer had the fortunate opportunity to bear witness to possibly the greatest series of events he’d ever seen (and he once saw a rat the size of a small dog eating a small dog). 
It all started when a girl from the Aphrodite table stood up and walked over to where the boys were sitting. 
“So, if you do ever want to sneak out to the forests, don’t go through the pavilion.” Chris was explaining, “Mr D has a birds eye view of the whole place from his bedroom window, so you gotta sneak as close to the Big House as you can get. But make sure to duck under the windows just in case Chiron is trotting around in there.” 
“And be careful around cabin four.” Luke butted in, “They have vines that spring out of the floor whenever a non-Demeter kid gets too close during the night.”
Chris turned to his brother with a look, “How do you know that?”
“Oh, uh — ”
“Hey, Luke.” 
Three heads turned to the edge of the table where she was standing — a pretty girl with short blonde hair, a few strands dyed pink near the front. She was smiling at Luke cheekily and Percy noticed Chris send his brother a smirk. 
“Uh, hi…” Luke trailed off, squinting.
“Laura.” She finished with a frown.
“Laura!” He exclaimed, snapping his fingers. “I knew that. I did.”
“Cool.” She said slowly, brushing off the moment and bouncing around the table to sit next to him on the bench. She leaned on her elbows into his side and Percy watched him shuffle back, only for Chris to push him right back forward. “So, uh, I had fun…last night.” She side eyed Percy across the table, but the boy just pursed his lips awkwardly. 
“Really?” Luke responded, a little shocked. He nodded, “Well, uh, me too?”
Laura grinned widely at that, back straightening, “I’m so glad we agree.”
Percy wasn’t so sure Luke agreed, he wasn’t even sure the guy remembered whatever saucy interaction she was referring to. But he was pretending to, for her sake. He blinked at her silently, but she just looked as if she was waiting for him to say something — Percy was only young, but he’d seen enough movies to know that she was waiting for him to suggest they do it again sometime. 
He did not. Instead he twisted his body away from her and back towards Percy, smiling at him, “Wanna head to the campfire, get some good seats?”
The boy was moments away from responding, but Laura clearly wasn’t taking his silence as an answer. She pulled Luke back to face her by his arm and blinked up at him, “I was just about to suggest we skip the fire tonight. Just us, y’know?” 
Chris cleared his throat and stood, ushering for Percy to do the same, “Let’s go, lil bro.”
“Wait — “ Luke stood with them, staring back with a silent plea of help. Chris wasn’t having it, just grinning at him. 
“Have fun, Luke.” He snorted, “See you later.” 
“No, you can’t — ” He started, but Laura was yanking him back with a high pitched giggle. 
“You heard him, Luke.” She smirked, “No one's gonna notice we’re gone, loosen up.” She ran a slow finger down his torso, and Percy watched him visibly tense up. He didn’t understand why she hadn't taken the hint already. 
Chris seized Percy by the wrist and began to pull him away, occasionally looking back and giggling like a schoolgirl, with the odd snort. The younger boy didn’t really want to look back, but then when he heard Luke yelp like a girl, well…
He had to. And thank the gods he did.
Luke was sprawled on the table like a scared rabbit and Laura was standing with one hand hanging limply in the air, looking confusedly at his stance. Chris burst into loud laughter when he noticed Luke’s legs were spread and the boy was trying really hard not to look at his own crotch. 
They walked over when it was clear someone needed to intervene, and Percy noticed the Demeter girls from before joining them — you were at the front, looking panicked and slightly annoyed.
"What's going on?" You asked, looking between the two of them.
"Nothing." Laura said plainly, "We were just talking."
Luke looked at you, “She — uh, she grabbed your — uh, your — ” 
He gestured between his legs with a shaky hand. Percy raised a brow, as did everyone else at the scene. Except for Laura, who began to cackle loudly, bending over at the hips and bracing her hands on her thighs. The rest of the kids stared at the pair with varying expressions, and Laura straightened up, wiping under eyes with a giggle before pointing between you and Luke. 
“You guys — oh my gods — ” She laughed again, shaking her head and trying to breathe long enough to get her words out, “Holy Hades, Castellan. I’m — I’m sorry.” 
She held her hands up in surrender, looking at you now, “I am. I didn’t know you guys were dating. I guess I took mine and Luke’s conversation the wrong way, but — ” Another wheeze, “And I shouldn’t be laughing, but he just referred to his penis as yours, and I — ” 
“Laura, it’s not like — ” You stepped up with a wince, trying to alleviate the growing tension between the group. The Aphrodite girl wasn’t listening. 
“I just think that’s the funniest thing I’ve heard since…” She took a moment to think, catching her breath and smiling at herself as she thought about it. Eventually, she gestured to you with a laugh, “Well, since last night when you called Graham Lee an extra-terrestrial ass-kisser.” 
Luke licked his lips, taking a deep breath in and pushing himself off the table and to his feet. He went to say something to Laura, face serious, but then he stopped and knocked his head back in a slight movement. He looked around at nothing, as if he was recollecting a memory, and then he gasped and pointed a finger at you, “I did do that.”
“You called Graham Lee an extra-terrestrial ass-kisser?” You tilted your head at Luke, “Why?”
Luke shrugged, “He grabbed my ass.” 
Laura scrunched up her face, looking between the pair of them, “Are you guys on drugs?”
"There aren't any drugs at this camp." You blanked. You brother laughed.
"Says the drug dealer."
You raised a brow in shock, like you'd had no idea about your own small business. You looked at Luke intensely -- Percy thought maybe you were trying to keep your drug dealing thing a secret, and Luke had gone and spilled the beans. That would explain why he suddenly looked so sheepish. It wouldn't explain why you then said, "Well I am not on drugs."
"Then what is wrong with you guys?" Someone finally asked the question Percy had been sitting on since he watched you hover your hands over your own boobs before retracting them quickly as if it was against some demigod rule to touch your own body — only for Luke to see from afar and have some very stern words to say about it.
Finally, after ten seconds of intense eye contact, you and Luke took in simultaneous breaths. It was you who spoke first, addressing the whole crowd — which consisted of Percy, Laura, Chris, and the Demeter kids — “We’re in eachother’s bodies.” 
The Demeter kids made grossed out faces, but Chris just snorted into his fist and let the conversation go on. Percy had never been more confused in his entire life — and he had once thought his dad was Jesus. 
Laura chuckled, “Yeah, we know that. His penis is yours, or whatever freaky shit yall are up to.” 
“What?”
“No — ” 
You and Luke spoke at once, each taking a single step forward. You paused, looking at each-other until you gestured at Luke with a sigh, letting him speak. He nodded, “We’re serious. We are in each other's bodies.”
“Freaky Friday style.” You jumped in before anyone could make a sex joke. You sent the group a sharp look, and then zeroed your eyes in on Percy, “That’s why we were acting so out of it earlier.”
It was silent for a long stretch — everyone looking between one another. Percy didn’t even know what to say. It did explain their strange behaviour, but —
“How the hell did you end up in each other’s bodies?” A demeter boy asked, holding a finger up like he was in class. The rest of them nodded, wondering the same. 
“Well…” Luke sighed (or You sighed, he guessed. He was still confused), “At first we had no idea, but now I think it was Graham Lee.”
Another Demeter girl hummed, “He is a Hecate kid. It’d make sense that he put some freaky spell on you after you insulted him.”
Chris coughed, still red in the face from laughing into his shirt, “Okay, but why Luke?” 
You shrugged, “Dunno. I’ve never done anything to the guy.”
Suddenly, Laura let out a long, “Oooohhhh.”
Everyone eyed her. She pursed her lips in embarrassment, although Percy definitely saw amusement in her eyes. She tucked some hair behind her ear and winced, “So, maybe we went to the clash together.”
“The what?” Percy asked, finally speaking up. The rest of the group looked at him as if only just realising he’d been standing there, suddenly looking sheepish. 
“Uh, it’s a party.” Chris scratched behind his ear, “Older campers only, but if you don’t tell anyone about ‘em you can come to the next one.” 
He shrugged, “Deal.”
“So, wait.” You pointed at Laura, “You went to the clash with Graham? Like with him?” 
“Yeah.” She folded her arms indignantly, “But he was literally staring at you the whole time, so I left to flirt with Luke.” 
Your cheeks dusted pink, and both Laura and Percy realised she was talking to Luke, not you. She turned to Luke, clearing her throat, “Sorry. He was staring at you the whole time. So I left to flirt with…uh, Luke.” 
A collective breath ran through the group, everyone putting the pieces together in their own heads. Percy was still a little unsure, but he had the gist (maybe). Just as he was about to suggest they go find this Graham guy and ask him to undo his spell, one of the Demeter girls Percy had seen talking to you earlier gasped and looked between you and Luke with wide eyes. 
“So when we were talking before…” She looked at you, “We were talking to Luke?” 
You — or Luke, but as you — stammered, and Percy couldn’t help but let out a little laugh. Luke looked on, confused, and the girl looked at him with a smirk, 
“Earlier, we were gossiping about hot guys.” She chuckled, pointing at you, “And Luke suggested his own name, as you!” 
“What?” Luke exclaimed at you, partially appalled but also holding in a laugh. 
You stammered for an excuse, but then her face contorted and she zeroed Luke with an accusatory stare, “Well, you said I walked around camp acting like I had the biggest cock out of them all!” 
Luke scoffed, “You do.” 
“I do not!”
“You kind do.”
“Yeah, you do.”
“You sorta do, man.”
You turned to Chris, scandalised, “Bro.”
The boy shrugged, “Sorry man. It’s true.”
Eventually, you managed to convince the kids to finally go to the campfire and leave Luke and yourself to fix your problem with Graham when you got down there. They agreed, although not without making as many jokes as they could on the walk down to the clearing. 
“So, how did you guys pee?”
“Have you seen each other all naked and stuff now?”
“Did Luke have morning woo — ?”
“Alright.” You smacked Chris hard on the back for that one. “To your sections, please.”
Percy sat down on the end of a log, and watched as the two of you walked over to Graham and spoke to him in hushed but harsh tones. At one point, Graham was looking between you two with the most genuine look of confusion and Percy assumed he only agreed to reverse the spell because it was making his mind go all wobbly just talking to you. 
When he saw Luke again, it was at lights out. Percy was tucking himself into his thin sleeping bag when the boy came over, crouching to his level and dropping something on his lap. 
He lifted the bag of coins to his eyeline and then raised a brow at Luke, “What’s this for?”
“Drachmas.” He explained, “Just enough to get you a new shirt at the camp store. Or a thicker pillow, some three ply toilet paper. Whatever you want, really.” He shrugged, “Partly a welcome to camp gift, partly hush money.”
“Right.” Percy lowered the bag and levelled Luke with a curious look, “How was being in another person’s body? Weird?”
“Oh yeah.” He nodded, looking into the distance like he was having some awful flashbacks. Percy remembered seeing you walk out of the bathroom earlier, a look of terror plastered in your eyes. 
He cleared his throat, “Well, thanks for the money.”
“No problem, kid.” He patted him on the shoulder, “Get some rest. It’s capture the flag day tomorrow and guess what?"
"What?"
"We're teaming up with Demeter."
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koqabear · 6 months ago
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hiii this is for the 2k event, i wanted to ask if u write hybrid!au cause yeonjun dressing up as nick wilde has got me feeling a little delusional. if u don’t completely ignore this but if u do, can i request fox yj and maybe bunny reader?
[2K Masterlist]
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"Yeonjun is adamant that you’re a pretty, porcelain doll. You’re more than ready to shatter that idea and show him that you’re stronger than he thinks."
fox hybrid! yeonjun x bunny hybrid! reader // wc: 1.9K // genre: hybrid au, pwp. this is just straight filth im sorry. MDNI.
warnings dom!yeonjun, sub!mc, somnophilia (consensual), oral (f rec.) pet names (bunny, good girl), degrading, multiple orgasms, overstimulation, degrading, kitchen sex, manhandling, dacryphilia, begging, scratching, possessiveness, unprotected sex, breeding kink, creampies, aftercare kinda, girl idk i literally just dissociated when i wrote this i forget how exhausting this all is!!
Notes: the healthcare system is fucked even in fanfiction, you can’t escape. 
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Every decision you’ve made throughout your relationship with Yeonjun has led to where you are now:
Face down, ass up, tears in your eyes and words muddled through the drool that spills through your lips. 
You’ve told him countless times that you’re not fragile; that the sweet, docile image he has of bunny hybrids is nothing but a sham, and that you can take anything he offers with a confident stride— and though he simply laughed in endearment and shook his head at your claims, you insisted. You insisted throughout all the sugary sweet times he made love to you, during all the moments where you felt his hands hesitate to hold you, as though he was afraid that putting pressure on your body would be enough to make you shatter. 
The words were tiring to both his and your ears at some point: the petulant whines asking for more, your pathetic attempts to try and take control and change the pace entirely— Yeonjun’s sharp, narrowed eyes that flickered at you in warning was the harshest thing you received from him— but judging by the shivers that flowed down your spine like water, your fluffy tail twitching in attention, you knew that your body only craved for more and your brain wouldn’t settle down until you got your way.
You could say that he warned you. He really did, technically, sitting you down for a serious talk about something you two never really discussed in detail. You watched with wide, slightly confused eyes as he explained to you that his heat was approaching, and that you definitely shouldn’t be around for it— when you perked up to interrupt, he merely shook his head to shut you down and continue his explanation. 
“I usually take medication, but my insurance no longer covers my usual prescription.” he told you, his ginger ears twitching in annoyance from the mere memory, “I’m taking a leave from work for it, and… I want to spend this time alone.”
“It gets intense… I don’t want to hurt you.”
A bruised ego and terribly confrontational personality was truly a god awful combination. Though you suppose it helped you for the better, considering that after a good argument with your ever-so loving and doting boyfriend, he finally gave up. 
You can remember the sight so vividly; his ruffled hair, the fluffy tail that whipped from side to side as he finally slumped back against the couch, out of breath and exhausted— his ears pinned against his head in defeat the moment he took a good look at you, in all your still fired up and energetic glory. 
He knew it was a losing battle the moment you cocked a challenging brow at him, as though begging for him to continue.
The word okay has never sounded better from your boyfriend's mouth. 
••••
That all leads you back to today. It’s been— oh, you really can’t remember. A day? Maybe two? You don’t think it matters at this point, since the only thing that fills your mind now is the feeling of being full, stuffed, and warm. 
Yeonjun gave you a chance to back out the second he opened the door for you. He spoke to you calmly, softly, nervously, watching you hop around his living room and throw your overnight bag on his couch, overjoyed to be taking such a monumental step forward in your relationship. You dismissed every slow, anxious sway of his tail as you ate dinner together, listening intently as he told you about how he’s gotten with his previous partners. 
It was too much for many of them. He gets aggressive. He gets insanely needy, it goes on for hours, even throughout the night. 
You prayed that he didn’t notice the pathetic clench of your thighs and slight arousal as he told you about his details, nodding sweetly when he asked if you were okay with doing the things he mentioned. 
You established a safeword, coddled him the moment you noticed his temperature beginning to rise, and gave him a gentle kiss on the forehead as you murmured your goodnights. 
About six hours passed when you first felt it; you’ve always been a light sleeper, so you were doomed the second your sensitive ears picked up on the sound of restless rustling behind you. You tried your best to ignore it, your drowsy mind eager to go back to sleep, but the white noise of sheets moving around was quickly accompanied by something else— breathy, desperate gasps.
“Bunny…” Yeonjun’s raspy whine was enough to have your ear twitching slightly; more rustling, and suddenly, a scorching heat hovers behind you. “Bunny, need… need you s’bad…”
His hands are heavy on your skin, almost scorching with the way he restlessly makes his way up your shirt, groping at your tits before they slide down your stomach, feeling you up all the way down before they stop at your thighs— without warning, he presses flat against you, a hand snaking beneath your body to wrap around your stomach and pull you flush into him. He was so hard, so needy that the very feeling of your soft ass pressing against him was enough to rip out a broken sob from him.
“Let me fuck you,” he murmured against the shell of your ear, words that slurred together showing that he was also half-awake, probably not too aware of his actions and the way he rutted into you helplessly, “C’mon bunny, lemme use you.” 
Your ass that pressed back into him and the sleepy whine that left you was enough for him.
You can only remember drifting in and out of consciousness that night; the sloppy, wet sounds of skin against skin and desperate grunts was nothing but white noise to you at that point— Yeonjun was glued to you for hours on end, fat cock thrusting harshly into your poor, abused cunt, filled with so much cum that it could only smear onto your inner thighs and his balls, leaving a mess you wouldn’t be able to clean anytime soon. 
When you woke up, you were on your back— your pussy was sore and a whine bubbled up uncontrollably from your throat, hips canting up and against Yeonjun’s face— your hands were shaky as you fisted the sheets, tears pricking your eyes as you listened to Yeonjun’s sweet nothings against your skin, leaving bites and kisses against your thighs as he promised you that he’d be quick, that he just needed to eat your sweet cunt— you’d get cleaned up nicely after. 
Yeonjun was a liar, of course— because none of his sweet promises included his burning desire to fuck you after you came, cleaning you up only to push his cock back in and fuck you right into the mattress; legs pressed against your stomach, wails leaving you as he plunged into you with abandon, frantic hands scratching down his back as you cried from the overstimulation— it only ended with him pressing deeply into you and emptying yet another load into your tired cunt. 
The semblance of normalcy that followed after didn’t last very long, either— yeah, getting carried to the shower and having him clean you up and scrub you down was nice, and sitting at the counter as you watched him make a quick breakfast was nice too, a heartwarming glimpse into a domestic future with him— but you were only able to get halfway through your meal before Yeonjun decided that he’d much rather bend you over the kitchen counter and have you there instead— moaning wantonly as he watched your trembling legs fail to keep up, buckling under his pace and forcing him to hold you up with his insane strength— and just when you thought he was getting tired, he simply flipped you on your back and laid you on the counter instead; he always did think you looked really pretty when you were totally fucked out, anyway. 
Maybe that’s when hours started blending together— he was sweet and caring when he needed to be, cleaning you up with a feather-like touch and kisses that warmed your heart— only to give you the whiplash of the century when his pupils dilated and the only thing he honed in on was you. 
You. You you you. 
His ears would press against his head and his tail would flicker dangerously, narrowed, focused eyes meeting your bleary ones with ease; you could only sit there and let him maneuver you however he liked, shivering and falling limp with each time he’d slide his cock into you, as though you finally felt complete. 
You looked so breathtaking to him— under him, over him, whatever position he suddenly found himself needing you in— teary eyes and swollen lips calling his name like a mantra, a prayer, a plea for him to use your body until he got his fill.
There was something so addicting about the way you trembled from the overstimulation, sobbing and writhing yet never saying your safe word. It had Yeonjun fascinated, the guilty part of his mind berating him for trying to see how far he could take things— yet, no matter what he did or what he said, you only seemed to beg for more, like you’d been waiting for this moment for ages.
“Take it, T-take it like a good toy,” Yeonjun hissed, fingers digging into your hips as his cock battered into you ruthlessly. You merely cried and moaned, cotton tail wiggling with every drag against your walls, the soft fur coated with dried cum, “said you could handle it, right? Stupid fucking bunny— nothing but a cumdump for me, hmm?”
Your squeals and chants of yes! Yes yes yes! only spur Yeonjun on even more— his body feels as though it’s on fire, bright hair sticking to his sweaty skin as he merely pushes himself further— you can practically feel his back hover over your own, able to tell that he’s close from his faltering pace and shaky breaths that fan across your skin. 
“Want me to breed you?” he asks, though there’s no need to ask anymore if the previous loads he’s dumped into you are any indication of your answer. Yet he still does, almost like instinct; it’s much more satisfying to hear you beg for it, anyway. 
And you do— your begging is so cute, how could he ever resist? Yeonjun’s nails might break your skin with how tightly he’s holding you, teeth digging into his pouty lip as he pumps himself into you, once, twice, then empties out everything he has to offer— your back arches and your hips move back to try and glue yourself to him, crying out his name in satisfaction as he fills you for the nth time of the night. 
The way you keen out, the sight of your ears that are pinned to your head along with your tail that shivers with satisfaction is like drugs to him; he’s hopelessly addicted to you, to all of you, from your stuffed cunt that continues to suck him in to your soft voice that whimpers out at every sensation you offer him.
Such a good girl, Yeonjun thinks to himself, butterfly kisses spanning along your sweaty skin, your barely conscious form curling into him for more, how did he get so lucky?
Even after he’s given you a moment to rest, laying down with you on top of him, you still cling onto him, sighing in content as you allow him to cockwarm you, already bracing yourself for the moment he feels himself needing you again. And as you both drift into a much needed nap, Yeonjun can only find himself thinking one thing. 
Thank god for you and your argumentative nature.
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1K notes · View notes
fushic0re · 11 months ago
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❝𝐀 𝐇𝐔𝐒𝐁𝐀𝐍𝐃❜𝐒 𝐆𝐔𝐈𝐃𝐄 𝐓𝐎 𝐃𝐑𝐔𝐍𝐊𝐄𝐍 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐅𝐄𝐒𝐒𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒❞
⊹ ࣪ ˖ 𝗦𝗔𝗧𝗢𝗥𝗨 𝗚𝗢𝗝𝗢, 𝗦𝗨𝗚𝗨𝗥𝗨 𝗚𝗘𝗧𝗢, 𝗞𝗘𝗡𝗧𝗢 𝗡𝗔𝗡𝗔𝗠𝗜, 𝗧𝗢𝗝𝗜 𝗙𝗨𝗦𝗛𝗜𝗚𝗨𝗥𝗢, 𝗔𝗢𝗜 𝗧𝗢𝗗𝗢, 𝗦𝗛𝗜𝗨 𝗞𝗢𝗡𝗚
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𝐃𝐚𝐲 𝟏𝟎 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝑹𝒊𝒌𝒂𝒏𝒆 𝑾𝒐𝒏𝒅𝒆𝒓𝒍𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝑨𝒅𝒗𝒆𝒏𝒕 𝑪𝒂𝒍𝒆𝒏𝒅𝒂𝒓 ⋆.ೃ࿔*:・
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𝐒𝐘𝐍𝐎𝐏𝐒𝐈𝐒 ─ 18+ ONLY; MINORS DNI. alcohol consumptions. drunken antics. smut; penetrative sex, sex in a public space. slightly cracky. 
𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 ─ in true hallmark movie fashion, the holiday party ends with your crush getting so drunk that he spills professions of love. 
꒰ ͜͡➸ 𝐈𝐅 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐄𝐍𝐉𝐎𝐘𝐄𝐃 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐒 𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐘, 𝐏𝐋𝐄𝐀𝐒𝐄 𝐆𝐈𝐕𝐄 𝐈𝐓 𝐀 𝐑𝐄𝐁𝐋𝐎𝐆! 𝐑𝐄𝐁𝐋𝐎𝐆𝐒 𝐀𝐑𝐄 𝐖𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐒❜ 𝐁𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃 & 𝐁𝐔𝐓𝐓𝐄𝐑! ♡
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SATORU GOJO 
Whiney. Clingy. Horny. 
First of all, we know this man is a lightweight. Don’t even be surprised that he’s easily swayed by the influence of alcohol. 
At some point (for his own sanity of course) Nanami tried to curb him whenever he wanted another drink…but he gave up. 
So now you’re stuck with a very drunk Satoru Gojo 
One minute he’s being his usual irritating self, the next he’s practically slurring as he blurts out really, really stupid shit. 
You’re desperately trying to reel him in because your students are literally in the same room as you and do not need to see their teacher drunk or hear the inappropriate things he’s saying. 
But Satoru Gojo cannot be stopped. 
He also cannot for the life of him contain any of the feelings he has for you in his body. So despite the fact that he would probably benefit more from throwing up all the sake bombs he’s had, he throws up drunken confessions. 
Though it’s no secret that the both of you harbor feelings for each other, neither of you has explicitly acted on them…until now. 
“My GOD. You are so pretty. Like, I wanna take off my blindfold to appreciate you fully but your beauty just makes my eyes huuuurrrt!” “...Thank..you? It’s definitely your Six Eyes though–” “No, it’s all the pretty.” 
“Heyyyyy, dance with me!~” 
Yelling “I WANNA HAVE SEX WITH YOU PLEASE–” across the room. 
Nobara for sure gets it on video. Megumi and Maki are appalled. Yuuji and Panda standing there with no thoughts behind their eyes. Toge’s lowkey entertained but will continue to remain to look unbothered. Nanami is rubbing his eyes and sighing deeply. Shoko for SURE eggs him on. Masamichi is ready to throw them both out. 
You take it upon yourself to try and see if someone can get him home while you continue to celebrate with the kids, but Shoko is too drunk. That leaves…
“Nanami, can you–” “Absolutely not. Have a good night.” 
And that’s how you end up hauling that man back to your apartment…because he caused a scene when you tried to take him home to his. 
Literally just clings to you and cannot be detached from you for the life of him. 
You set up a bed for him on the couch, but the second you turn around–
“I wanna sleep with youuuu!” Satoru whines, hugging you tightly from behind as you wash your face for the night. “Why are you kicking me out?”
You sigh exasperatedly before shooting him a stern look. 
“Satoru. Couch. Go.” 
You go to lay in bed and after having your eyes closed for only five minutes, your door opens and he’s crawling into bed behind you whining.
“Wanna stay here with you. You have more pillows.” “I can give you extra pillows if you want som–” “Boobs. I want your boobs :D” 
At that point, you literally just give up. He’s spooning you from behind, clinging to you so tightly that you literally feel his dick hardening against you as his large hands knead your breasts. 
His mouth is pressed right to your ear, murmuring promises as he begins to finally fall asleep.
“I swear…when I’m more sober, I’m gonna fuck the shit out of you. Promise.” 
You both take work off the next day. Everyone knows why. 
SUGURU GETO 
Seductive. Suave. Charming. 
When Suguru gets enough alcohol in him, he turns into such a romantic. 
Everyone thinks you guys are together and have been together for a while solely based on his body language. 
Without any inhibitions left to deter him from fully expressing his fondness for you, he allows you to be his center of gravity–when you move, he moves. 
His body naturally leans towards yours. He adjusts his body so that it’s clear his attention is only on you even when you’re not speaking. No one else exists to him. 
Very put together. If it weren’t for him being more flirty than usual, you wouldn’t even think he was under the influence. 
Whisks you away shamelessly away from other people when he feels like you’ve been giving them more attention than them. 
You’re talking to a group of coworkers when suddenly Suguru comes up from behind you and places a hand on your waist. 
“Excuse me, ladies. You wouldn’t mind if I stole this beauty away for a dance, would you?” He purrs. 
But he’s not asking. By the time he’s done speaking, you’re already being swept away by him. He doesn’t even wait for a response, nor does he care to notice the way said coworkers gawk at you jealously. 
This man literally twirls you around the dancefloor with a big smile on his face. His eyes never leave yours. 
“What’d gotten into you?” You laugh softly as he dips you. 
He simply shakes his head and chuckles. 
“Nothing. I’m just really in love with you and there is quite literally nothing in the way to get in my head or stop me from saying it anymore.” 
It’s a simple, straightforward, and intimate confession that is oh so Suguru. 
KENTO NANAMI 
Our main is a heavy drinker who can handle his liquor expertly, so…you’re the tipsy one. 
You, Satoru, Shoko, Utahime, and Kento are all at a sushi bar celebrating a successful semester and the steady growth of your kids. 
Too swept up in the good vibes, you don’t stop yourself from having a drink of choice with Shoko each time she orders a sake bomb. 
Little by little, your laughs increase until they’re filling the room. 
Kento is the first to notice, glancing down at you with a barely noticeably softened expression as all of your worries are alleviated–even if it’s just momentarily. 
The two of you worked more closely than the others knew. Yuuji had taken a close liking to you, so naturally, you and Kento convened often to discuss his progress and needs. 
Of course, these little meetings extended into ones of a more personal nature like grabbing lunch, a bakery run, or even a simple walk. 
It was safe to say that Kento Nanami, the adult of all adults, had developed a soft spot for you. 
Which is why he can feel his face heat up and his heart begin to pound against his chest as your head falls against his shoulder, giggling as you stare up at him. 
Unable to help himself, he gives you a gentle smile, placing a hand on your cheek. 
“You’re really warm.” He comments. “Would you like to get some fresh air?” 
“Yea! I wanna see all the twinkly lights the stores have put out!” You chime, tugging on his sleeve. 
The blond affectionately groans before helping you into your coat and slipping his on, stepping out of the booth. 
“I’m taking her for a walk. We’ll be back.” “Ooh! Can we–” “No.” 
With that, he helps you up and out of the restaurant, your hand clasped in the crook of his arm. 
Your friends are suddenly sobered up at the table, shooting each other shocked expressions. 
“...You guys saw that right?” 
Meanwhile, you and Kento are walking down the street leisurely as you literally babble nonstop. 
“I wanna take Yuuji here for dinner one day, we should go together! It’ll be really nice for us both to spend time with him, since we’re basically like his parents right? You know what parents do? Kiss! Why haven’t we–” 
Kento halts your runny mouth with a finger pressed to your lips, the most honeyed expression on his stupidly handsome face as he gazes at you. 
“As adorable as you are at this moment, I really want to have this conversation with you when you’re mind is clear enough to remember it.” He whispers, pulling your coat around you tighter as a gust of wind blows by. “We’ll talk tomorrow. Okay?” 
TOJI FUSHIGURO 
Toji literally cannot get drunk, so guess who's spilling their guts? You.
You’re out with some girlfriends for a Friendsmas dinner when the sangria hits you all a little too hard. 
Your best friend is left with no choice but to take your phone and call the guy you’ve been seeing to come pick you up. 
While you loved Toji, admitting it yourself–but especially him–was a terrifying concept to you all because of a certain little sea urchin-like haired toddler…Megumi. 
God, you loved that kid. You loved him to absolute death. He practically felt like your own child. Which was even scarier because what if things didn’t work out between you and Toji? What if one day he decided that his late wife couldn’t be replaced? Would he resent you? 
All of that reservation flies out of the window when you’re carried into his apartment and are greeted with a sleepy Megumi in the doorway, having been watched by a neighbor. 
“Mama?” 
You literally sob. It’s quite embarrassing considering your inebriated state, but the emotions cannot be contained any longer. 
The toddler frowns, his father’s expression mirroring his own. He had never seen you so…fragile. 
“God, I love you guys.” You confess tearily. “I’m so sorry that this is how you have to hear it but–” 
Your interrupted by two forces against you; muscle arms around your shoulders from behind and a small body hugging your front tightly. 
“Silly, mama.” Megumi giggles. 
Toji’s deep laugh fills your ears alongside his deep, adoration-laced tone. 
“Yea…silly mama.” 
AOI TODO 
Friendsmas gets a little too lit when the great Aoi Todo is around. 
Yuuji playfully insists on trying every flavor of Soju and of course, his brother tags along.
But in true Aoi Todo fashion, he does things with a little too much gusto….he’s drunk as shit now. 
Eventually, the girls decide to break off and convene at your place for a sleepover, having had enough of the boisterousness for the night. 
You’re literally minding your business having a conversation with Mai, Maki, and Nobara while Momo and Miwa make everyone some late night noodles when suddenly a love song by Takada is being blasted from your balcony window. 
“This that…?” Miwa squeaks, clearly caught off guard. 
It definitely is. The flow of the cursed energy, Takada blasting, there’s no questioning who the hell is outside of your window. 
Nobara already has her phone out to document the moment, the Zenin sisters are snickering as they stare at you, Momo is actually floored. Miwa…beyond floored. 
“You have so much shit to tell us.” Nobara laughs. 
“Yea, what did that happen? You and Todo?” 
“NOW apparently!” You whisper frantically. “What do I do–” 
“TO THE LOVE OF MY LIFE IN APARTMENT B347, THIS IS FOR YOU!” 
You’re literally shoved outside to confront a drunk Aoi Todo singing along to his idol as Yuuji holds a Bluetooth speaker in the air next to him. 
“You guys…” 
“Y/N I WANNA MARRY YOU, REMEMBER THIS MOMENT WHEN IT’S TIME TO TELL OUR FUTURE KIDS HOW WE MET–” 
“Please come inside!” You hiss. 
“DO YOU SHARE THESE SAME SENTIMENTS OF LO–” 
“Yes, for the love of god, I love you too, but please come inside before I get evicted.” 
“SUCCESS, BROTHER!”
SHIU KONG 
 Horny. That’s it. 
You’re with him at some fancy restaurant dressed to the nines for a business dinner with colleagues of his. 
Every person at the table is shady at very best. Hell, yourself included. 
But there are no thoughts of right and wrong when a tipsy Shiu whose lips taste like the smoothest, finest whiskey assault your own as he thrusts into you vigorously from behind. 
“Good girl. I knew you’d get us that deal…you’re too damn pretty for anyone to say no to, sweetheart.” He purrs into your ear, words slightly slurred. 
Your hands grip the edge of the counter tightly, letting out a breathy laugh in between hushed moans. 
“How is it that you fuck better after a few drinks in you?” You tease, earning you a deep chuckle. 
“Because you’re my woman and I love you. And I wanna keep doing this with you, living this life with you. No matter how messed up it is.” He pants against your ear. 
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© all rights reserved to fushic0re — do not translate, repost, or plagiarize.
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ginax0916 · 6 months ago
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hii could u do sturniolo triplets x fem reader where they treat her like one of them and toss shit at her but then they accidentally hurt her and they all panic. (maybe one of them have a secret crush on her up to u?)
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★‧𝐀𝐜𝐜𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐧𝐭‧★
Sturniolo Triplets x fem!bsf
Genre: Fluff
Synopsis: Filming a car goes wrong when a small accident happens.
Warning: Blood mentioned.
*this is gonna be just platonic so they’re just besties*
I love this request by the way, tysm! 🫶🏻
⭑ ⋆ ⭑ ⋆ ⭑
I’ve been friends with the triplets for longer than I can remember. They practically call me their sister now. So it isn’t unusual for me to appear in their videos. I’m usually in the vlogs just because I think they’re funner to film than car videos.
We are all currently sitting on their couch watching random videos on YouTube eating ice pops.
“Guys I’m bored” Chris says.
“Ok then what do you wanna do?” I ask.
“I don’t know but something other than whatever this is” Chris lays back on the couch sighing.
“How about we start filming the car video for Friday?” Nick says.
“But it’s literally Sunday” Matt says looking at Nick.
“Yea but we already have our Wednesday video filmed, and if we film our Friday video today we can have the rest of the week free” Nick explains.
“That’s a good idea” I say.
“Would you be in it y/n?” Matt asks.
“I’ve got nothing better to do so yea” I chuckle.
“Ok then let’s go!” Chris jumps up from the couch with a sudden outburst of energy.
-
“Look over there it’s all empty” Nick points to an empty part of the Walgreens parking lot where we chose to film.
“Ok that’s good, Chris start getting the camera ready” Matt says, driving to the spot farthest away from people.
Either way it is 12 am so there weren’t much people out anyway.
“Do we even have a topic?” I ask.
“No but we can just start speaking and see where it gets us” Nick replies.
“Do you guys want anything from Walgreens before we start?” Matt questions as he looks at Nick and I from the rearview mirror.
“Yes I want candy and a drink” Nick says.
“Me too” I say looking at Matt.
“Alright I’ll go get it” He answers while unbuckling his seat belt.
“I’ll go with you” I quickly say.
“Yea same you never get me the right candy” Chris rolls his eyes.
“Ok well I guess I have to go too now” Nick sighs.
We all got our candy and drinks except for Nick who couldn’t decide what he wanted to drink. Per usual.
“For the love of god Nick fucking choose” Chris groans.
“But there’s so many options!! I can’t do this” Nick replies grabbing his hair in frustration.
“Nick if you don’t choose something in the next 20 seconds we’re leaving” Matt sternly says.
“Oh my god look” Nick gasps.
“What” I say confused.
“They have glass bottles of coke!” Nick exclaims grabbing one from the fridge.
“Why the fuck would you want a glass bottle of coke? Just get the can” Chris comments.
“No I’m getting this. What if it tastes better in a glass bottle than in a can?” Nick questions.
“Just give me the damn thing so I can pay and go film the video for fucks sake” Matt says annoyed at his brother, as he walks to the check out.
“Mamas mad” I joke causing Chris and Nick to laugh.
-
“What the fuck is up YouTube! Welcome back to this week’s Friday video that we happen to be filming on a Sunday” Chris screams as soon as the camera starts recording, causing us all to flinch.
“Chris stop being so loud” I say grabbing his arm.
“Well we have to have a memorable intro no?” He answers, turning his body to look at me in the backseat.
“Well yea but don’t yell” I chuckle.
“Guys is it just me or did this car shrink” Nick says moving around swinging the bottle of coke in his hands.
“Nick stop you’re gonna hit me” I say shielding my face in case he does hit me.
“I hope he hits you and you break your nose” Matt says with no emotion on his face.
“Damn alright Matthew very sweet of you” I sarcastically say.
“Did you guys know that every star you see in the night sky is bigger and brighter than our sun” Chris randomly says.
“That’s not fucking true” Matt argues.
“IT IS TRUE SEARCH IT UP” Chris yells.
“Chris how many times do I have to tell you to stop screaming!” I raise my voice at him.
“Well he’s doubting my facts!” He argues back.
“Well Matt did you search it up?” Chris smirks.
“Shut up” Matt smiles.
“I told you soooo” Chris laughs.
“I finished my coke” Nick burps.
“You’re gross” I scrunch my face.
“Yea dude stop fucking burping everywhere you’re turning into Chris” Matt replies going off what I said.
“What did you say to me? I am most definitely not turning into Chris. In fact I’m better” Nick starts to argue still swinging the bottle around as he moves his arms.
“Hey! What did I do!” Chris complains.
“Oh my god” I sigh knowing they’re all about to fight.
“Oh shut up Chris sit down” Matt says in Chris’s face.
“You sit down tough guy get out of my face” Chris argues back.
“Can ya’ll just shut up please” I say rubbing my temples.
“Sorry sorry” Nick says exhaling as he rests his head on the head rest of Matt seat.
“Here I’m done with my Pepsi” Chris throws his empty can at me.
“Do I look like a trash can to you” I say annoyed.
“I’m done with my sprite too” Matt says throwing his empty spite bottle in my face.
“Oh my god why am I being attacked” I laugh.
“Wait this was from yesterday I’m done with it too” Chris adds on, throwing an empty Fanta bottle at my face again while laughing.
“That’s so gross” I laugh at him.
“Oh take this one too” Matt laughs throwing another empty soda bottle in my face which I attempt to shield.
“How dirty is your fucking car” I giggle.
“Here take mine too” Nick says throwing his glass bottle at my face, forgetting it’s glass.
“Ow Nick what the fuck that’s glass!” I raise my voice grabbing my nose as I feel a burning sensation.
“Oh shit I forgot it’s glass oh my god” Nick gasps.
“Nick why the fuck would you do that! You ok y/n?” Chris yells at Nick then turns to me.
“No not really” I quietly say trying to hold back tears.
“Lift your head up y/n” Matt softly says grabbing my chin to lift my face.
Their eyes all widen as they see blood coming out of my nose.
“Oh fuck” Chris says getting out of the car and opening the door to my side.
“Y/n im so sorry oh my god” Nick freaks out.
“Nick apologize later right now to into Walgreens and buy tissues or paper towels and some Advil for the pain. A bottle of water too” Matt says to Nick then rushing to where Chris had pulled me out of the car so I wouldn’t get blood on the seats.
“C’mere sit down and tilt your head up” Chris softly says pulling me to the ground and gently grabbing my head and tilting it back.
“I’m gonna have a panic attack I hate blood” I say as my breathing picks up and tears slowly slide down my face.
“Hey hey shh. It’s ok me and Chris are right here with you and Nick is getting some stuff to help you ok? It’s okay” Matt comforts me and pinches the bridge of my nose to help stop the flow of the blood and rubs on of my shoulder with his other hand.
“Does it hurt?” Chris asks while he rubs my knee.
“Mhm” I mumble closing my eyes.
“Here I got the stuff. Fuck I’m so so sorry please don’t die” Nick freaks out.
“Nick she’s not gonna die don’t say shit like that calm down” Chris replies.
“It’s okay Nick it was an accident I forgive you” I quietly say trying not to move my head much.
“Alright here hold that there” Matt puts some paper towels under my nose to soak the blood which was starting to become less.
“Can you swallow a pill?” Nick questions.
“Mhm” I nod.
“Open” Chris taps the side of my cheek indicating me to open my mouth, and so I do.
“Here’s water” Chris softly says, handing me water to swallow the pill he put in my mouth.
“How’s your nose sweetheart?” Matt asks, moving hair out of my face.
“It’s better and the blood stopped” I answer moving the paper towel away to see that there was no more blooding come out.
“Y/n I’m so sorry please forgive me” Nick engulfs me in a hug.
“It’s ok Nick I promise. I’m not mad it was just an accident” I say forgiving him and hugging him back.
“Alright c’mon let’s just go back home and order food and watch a movie how does that sound?” Chris asks me as he helps me up so we can all get back into the car.
“Mhm sounds good” I mumble.
“I kinda jinxed this whole situation I said I hope he hits you” Matt laughs as he starts the car.
“You really did jinx it Matt” I say.
“Guys the camera was recording the whole time” Chris points out.
“Well then this a hell of a video” Nick laughs.
⭑ ⋆ ⭑ ⋆ ⭑
Tried my best 🤗😛
821 notes · View notes
spidermans-l-o-v-e-r · 26 days ago
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Scream, 1996
Pairing: Buck x Reader
Word count: 2k
Notes: This is it, this is my favorite one of all time... Okay that's not true but I'll say this is my favorite of the Kinktober 24' okay? Anyway there's A LOT going on in his one including just a lil hint of knife play
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Day 10: Tittyfucking
“This is weird, this is so weird” Buck runs a hand over his hair, he can feel it shaking as he takes a deep breath. 
“She’s going to think it’s great, I’m telling you” Eddie stuffs a fry in his mouth.
Buck had FaceTimed him so he wouldn’t back out of this idea. You’d sent him a TikTok like a week ago, a “hear me out” was attached, and while he thought it was the funniest damn thing… he couldn’t get it out of his head and that was when he decided to plan something. 
The first thing he did was enlist Eddie's help because he knew he would chicken out of it before he’d even gotten around to getting everything he needed.
The costume was easy to find, so easy, especially around this time of year. Eddie was the one to convince him to use a real knife, as long as he somehow let you know it was real before anything started. 
Next, he’d started just… hinting that he’d had a surprise that he’d had an idea, and once he was sure you were onto him he decided it was time to get it in gear and make it happen. 
“What if she thinks I’m a freak” 
“Okay didn’t she literally send you the video? She’s a freak too bro” Eddie gestures with his chicken strip and Buck rolls his eyes. 
“Are you still coming over? I-I need help making sure she doesn’t try and kill me”
“Yeah, I’m still coming. Do you want me to come now?” 
“If it’s not too much trouble” he grins sheepishly and Eddie sighs, sipping his soda.
“I’ll be there in 10 bro” 
Eddie leans against the kitchen island, dipping his chicken tender into his barbecue sauce as Buck gets dressed. 
“Should I wear boxers?” 
“I dare you to wear a thong” 
“Bet” 
“Okay wait no I wasn’t-“ 
“Are you watching her location??” Buck comes downstairs, the mask balanced on his head, his robes in one arm…. And wearing a fucking thong leaving absolutely nothing to the imagination 
Eddie drops his chicken back in the bag and closes it up 
“There goes my appetite…” he mutters “Yeah I’m watching her location”
“Do I look okay?” He does a little spin and Eddie lets out a weird strangled noise as he gets an eyeful of Buck’s ass 
“Yeah dude you look great” 
“Okay good because-“
“Oh shit, shit her car pulled in, hurry up and finish!” 
Buck rushes to get changed and Eddie gathers all his stuff together, ready to leave as soon as humanly possible. 
“You two are freaks” He shakes his head and Buck grins, pulling the mask down over his face. 
“Yeah I know, it’s great right?!” He squeals excitedly as he goes to stand in the living room 
“Do I look scary??” 
“Terrifying”
The door locks turn and Eddie turns to look back, show time. 
“Hey, Eddie! What are you doing h-“
 You shriek and jump back as you look over to the living room where someone- whom you’re hoping is Buck, is standing… in a full Ghostface costume. You can already feel the heat building embarrassingly fast in your core. 
“The knife is very real” Eddie gestures with his soda, literally just ignoring your scream“And that-“ he sets it down, pointing. 
“Is your insane boyfriend” 
“Evan. Buckley.” Your mouth drops open as he stands across the room from you, Eddie grabs his jacket and keys from the counter 
“My job here is done imma just-” He points to the door and you nod, your mouth still open. 
“B-bye Eddie” You wave him off “Lock the door on your way out”
“Already done” 
The second the lock clicks shut, Buck takes a step forward and you take one back. Your eyes widen and his head tilts. 
“Ohhh my god” You cover your mouth, and he steps forward again 
“Quit it! That’s scary!” 
He opens his arms gesturing to the outfit 
“Yeah, I know it’s supposed to be! Shut up!” 
He gives you a double thumbs up and you giggle. You set your bag down on the counter and smirk at him. 
“So where do we go from here?” 
He shuffles through his clothing for a bit before brandishing a large kitchen knife. You gulp, okay maybe it was a little more scary than sexy right now. You’re about to come over to him when suddenly he lunges for you. 
You scream bloody murder and run around the counter, he chases right after you, just slightly slower than you are. Your back hits the wall and he lunges for you again, coming up short and hitting the wall instead. 
You’re standing a few feet away from him as he slowly turns his head to the side to stare at you, you stare right back into those empty black holes and you can almost see the grin on his face. He tilts his head slowly, before nodding to the stairs, you put your hands out in front of you before looking back for a second at the stairs. 
There’s no hope for you if you run up there… 
Good. 
You back up slowly as he starts stalking toward you again, both of you on the same page now. The back of your ankles hit the stairs and you turn around racing up the stairs. You scream again as you hear his heavy footsteps behind you, you make it to the top, turning around to see him and he’s right there. He covers your mouth this time and walks you backward, you fall back onto the bed and he climbs on top of you quickly, pinning you down. 
You buck your hips, twisting and trying to get out of his hold but it’s no use. He holds your chin tightly, squeezing your cheeks as he turns your face, just studying you. The knife comes up and you whimper as he slides the edge along your breast, you wince a little as you feel a tiny cut and his hand stops cold. He pulls the knife away, looking at the little bit of blood on it, and then back at you. 
“D-do it again” you whisper and you know his jaw is dropped just as wide as that mask is. 
“Better yet…” You look up at him and massage your breasts, you tease your nipples, circling your fingers around the hard nubs before you push them together, jiggling them for him 
“Will you promise not to kill me if I let you fuck them?” 
You can tell he doesn’t know what to do, you can practically see the little cogs in his brain turning as he tilts his head, you look up at him, so sweetly, so innocently, but there’s fear in your eyes and he likes that. 
He finally moves, snapping the strings of your tank top with the knife and dragging the tip down the center of your body. Your eyes widen as you watch it tear your top in two. 
That’s… sharp. 
He teases the tip around your belly button and you hold your breath, every breath you can feel it poking into you. 
He reaches up, caressing your face and you can practically hear his voice praising you like he always does 
“So beautiful, so perfect” 
He moves down your body, parting your thighs with the knife, and maneuvers you out of your shorts, he knows those are your favorites he won’t ruin those. 
Your panties, however…
He cuts those off too and your body shudders at the cool air, you prop yourself up on your elbows and watch him. He drags one gloved finger through your folds and your breath hitches. 
He shakes his head and you know he’s chuckling. He rubs your clit in torturous little circles, watching you spread your legs, your head falls back slowly and you’re distracted by the way it feels. You’re moving your hips on his finger when suddenly he pulls it away. Your head snaps up and before you can even pout.
He slides the handle of the knife inside you
“O-oh my god”
He holds your hips in place, slowly working the knife in and out of you, the soft curved end hits that spongy spot inside you and you fight not to jerk your hips. 
“F-faster, please” you beg and he looks at you as you spread your legs wider. 
“You knew I was a freak when you asked me to be your girlfriend” 
You’ve got him there. 
He goes faster firmly planting his hand down so you can’t move, your back arches and you claw at the covers. 
“I need you inside me, please I need you” you keen softly and he can’t help himself, he pulls the knife away and you shriek as he stabs it into the pillow next to you. He grabs you by the neck, maneuvering you so your head hangs off the bed, and climbs on top of you. 
You’re dizzy and confused for a second before you hear the sound of a little bottle popping open and a slick liquid being poured over your chest. He pops the top again and you feel him position himself between your tits, his cock nestled between your breasts. With a firm grip on your tits, he thrusts forward, sinking into your soft, warm cleavage.
He thrusts a bit faster, his cock sliding between your tits, the sensation making you both groan. Your head bounces lightly with the intensity of his thrusts, making you even dizzier.
Buck reaches up, pinching and rolling your nipples between his fingers, adding to the stimulation. He can feel his climax building, his balls tightening as he gets closer to the edge.
With a final, hard thrust, he comes undone. He throws his head back, a silent scream of ecstasy behind the mask as he spills himself across your chest. His cock twitches and pulses, painting your skin with his release.
You’re both panting hard, your hips grinding against nothing but air as he climbs off of you. You hear his clothing rustle but he doesn’t help you up, instead, he lifts your legs, your ankles resting on his shoulders.
Buck’s done his best to stay silent through this, even if he wants nothing more than to shower you with praises and nasty words. His eyes widen as he sees you spread open before him, your pussy glistening with arousal. He licks his lips, his cock already hardening again at the sight.
He lines himself up with your entrance, the head of his cock teasing your folds. He groans quietly as he thrusts forward, burying himself inside you to the hilt. Your eyes roll back and your hands come down to brace yourself on the floor. 
His hips start to move in a relentless rhythm. He fucks you hard and deep, his thick cock stretching your walls deliciously with each thrust. His fingers dig into your flesh the harder he pounds into your pussy. 
You can’t help the high-pitched little noises that each rough snap of his hips rips out of you. You can feel your orgasm building faster and faster, all the way down to your toes. That hot feeling spreads through your body as Buck reaches between your thighs, his fingers finding your clit and rubbing it in tight circles.
You scream out his name, your entire body shaking as you squirt on his cock, your juices splashing over his thighs as he cums inside you, fucking you through both of your highs. 
His hips begin to slow down to messy strokes before he collapses on top of you. He carefully pulls you up from hanging upside down so the blood in your head can go right back where it belongs. 
You reach up and pull the mask off staring at his sweet face 
“T-that was the hottest fucking thing we’ve ever done” 
“You really think so?” 
He’s so giddy, peppering soft little kisses all over your face and you giggle, cupping his cheeks and kissing him. 
“Especially the knife chasing, that was so exciting”
“I think I liked seeing your blood dripping from that knife” He growls playfully in your ear, dragging his hand lazily down your torso and settling his fingers between your legs 
Your thighs squeeze around his hand and he smirks 
“I liked that too” You blush, wrapping your arms around his neck 
“If you think this was fun, you just wait until my vampire costume comes in”
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jaykesgirly · 4 months ago
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devoured p.js
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Brat Tamer!Jay x Brat!reader
warnings: pure smut barely any plot mdni, reader is a brat, Jay is a brat tamer, oral (f. rec), fingering, overstimulation, multiple orgasms, I think that’s it but if I missed anything lmk
synapsis: you tease Jay in front of your friends to see what happens, little do you know what you’re in store for
wc: 853
You were being a complete fucking tease at dinner. Hand on Jay’s thigh ALL NIGHT slowly bringing it higher just enough to barely be touching his crotch before pulling away like nothing happened.
The tipping point for him though– when you decided to inform him that you weren’t wearing anything under your dress. The moment you whisper that into his ear he has your hand in his wrist, pulling you up and out of your seat and announcing to your friends that you need to leave NOW. no explanation, he’s literally just pulling you to the car as fast as he can.
Once you get to the car he opens the passenger door for you and practically shoves you into the seat. He gets into the car and once he starts driving it’s dead silent. Jay is FUMING you pulled that in front of your friends but hey, you’re about to get the fucking of a lifetime so who cares? Not you!
As soon as you get home and are inside your shared apartment you’re a goner. You barely get one foot in the door before he has his hands on you, pushed against the entry door.
“You’re a fucking brat you know that? Pulling that shit while we’re trying to have a nice night with our friends? And I know you’re going to fucking enjoy anything I give you because you did it on purpose but oh baby, you’re not ready for what I’m about to do to you,” he practically writhes into your ear, anger very clear in his tone.
All you can do in response is moan and that is all it takes for Jay to pick you up and take you to your bedroom. He puts you down on the ground and just stares at you for a second.
“Strip. Now.” That is all he says and it doesn’t take you anytime at all before you're taking your dress off for him. As you promised, you weren’t wearing any panties nor were you wearing a bra under your dress. He audibly groans, a look of nothing but hunger in his eyes as he looks you up and down.
“Look at you, not so tough now are you?” Jay spits at you. He moves to pick you up and throw you over his shoulder, leaving a smack on your ass as he carries you over to the bed. As quick as he picked you up, Jay threw you on the bed, immediately climbing on top of you. He grabs the handcuffs left on your headboard and snaps them around your wrists, leaving you open for anything he is about to give you.
“Only good girls get to use their hands, so you’re going to sit back and take everything I give you until I think I’ve fucked the brat out of you,” all you can do it stare at him and whine, anticipating his next move. Before you can think any further, Jay grabs your hips and positions himself in front of your bare core. You let out a whine of anticipation, only getting a smirk in response before he licks a long stripe up your folds.
“So fucking wet for me huh, you better be ready for what you’re about to endure,” he dives back into your core, switching between sucking on your clit and tonguing your entrance. His actions have you mewling, head thrown back and your back arching off the mattress. You attempt to bring your hands to his hair, only to remember he has them restrained.
“Mmh Jay please,” is all you can get out, wanting to run your hands through his hair as he eats you out.
“What did I say? Only good girls get to touch me,” he bites back in his response, continuing his actions. His pace is relentless, pulling you closer to your release. As if on queue, he pushes two fingers into you, curling them up without warning. His fingers find that perfect spot inside you, and when then do you let out a loud moan in response, “right there Jay— oh my GOD.”
Jay keeps up his pace, ripping an orgasm out of you almost instantly. But he doesn’t stop here. He continues to suck on your clit while his fingers curl inside you at a delicious pace. It’s almost getting to be too much, attempting to push him away with your legs but he has a firm grip on you.
“Can’t take anymore? Too bad, you’re going to take as much as I give you for as long as I do. If you try to push me away again there will be more consequences.” That’s all Jay says before he dives back in. It’s not long before he’s ripping another orgasm out of you. You’re on the verge of tears, not out of pain, but out of the sheer overwhelming pleasure you’re receiving. Jay does not relent, only stopping after you come on his fingers three more times.
Once he finally pulls away, your body goes limp out of sheer exhaustion. However, your night was far from being over.
a/n : I had to stop myself there or else I would’ve actually gone insane writing the rest 😭
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mystardustmelodyyy · 14 days ago
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@remotewatch HQ’s Election Countdown Day 6: Law Students
Hand to god, it began purely as an academic partnership. Splitting note-taking responsibilities and checking each other’s work, that sort of thing. Sure, Jack was absurdly pretty, but the addictive spike in positive instructor feedback after you’d been reviewing each other’s writing for a bit had much more to do with it. When you started fucking after your study sessions, then before, then doing as much as you could before the ten minute break timer went off between subject blocs, it was pretty easy to justify. Literally getting fucked to sleep six nights a week made it nigh impossible to stay up worrying about what concepts would screw you over on an exam. The more time you spent letting Jack’s tongue lave over you and the longer you let him say he needed to coax you on his fingers before stretching you out over his dick like taffy, the more you struggled to worry about much of anything.
If you had to put a date on it, Halloween was around when you realized a change was going to be necessary.
The whole night had actually been going swimmingly: an Anything But Human dress code for your friends’ potluck was by far the least contrived of the season, and you’d started designing your honeybee costume the second you got wind of it. At your request that he please select a corporeal, non political costume for one party, Jack grabbed some wire, pliers, and black yarn from your craft basket and whipped up a cat ear headband to match the first all black outfit his eyes landed on before he’d headed over.
You, on the other hand, spent the last hour leading up to the party thoroughly saturating two powder puffs in gold spray glitter for your behind the knee curbiculae, leaving him to meticulously glue gold rhinestone smatterings to the black velvet of your dress and taking care to push his head back whenever it dipped too close to the fresh E6000.
Things only started to go south when you had to bend down to draw on Jack’s whiskers with your eyeliner. His patience lasted almost long enough for you to reapply your lipstick and kiss the tip of his nose pink before one finger was curling under your swooping low, gold marabou-trimmed neckline.
“I’m glad I didn’t let you talk me into going commando with a catsuit-“ he murmured, nuzzling his nose over your chest “it would be a real problem when you look this good.”
Soon enough, your legs were hooked securely over his shoulders and any lingering stressors were steadily eroded away with each full-weighted, eyelid-fluttering thrust of Jack’s hips.
When you eventually get out the door, it’s already sunset, and the fading daylight reveals comically dense patches of your pollen glitter reaching from Jack’s shoulders clear down to his navel. That good for nothing spray adhesive hadn’t held shit in place; you’d be amazed to discover any sparkle left behind your knees the way he’s bathed in it.
“This is exactly what I’m talking about! We look like a couple of perverts, and we’re late!” you frantically swat at his chest trying to clear some of the glitter, only working it deeper into the weave of his sweater.
“We’ll fit right in!”
“No, I’m serious! We really need to set some ground rules or something because this is getting ridiculous.”
✨✨✨✨✨
I’m sure you’ve all seen these by now 🤭. I know we talk a lot of the Harris Walz campaign specifically but Jack makes a good point- there are so many other candidates and propositions on your ballot that are just as important. For example, it is vital for us to secure as many GOP seats as possible. Vote.org has a great feature where you can enter your information and get a preview of your ballot to prep for when you vote for real.
Stay informed and stay mobilized, my beautiful heauxs! 👏🏽🩵💋
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wisedelusionalmarshmallow · 2 months ago
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@rosekillermicrofic, September 6th - Book, T, Word Count - 721
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It was a really regular day today at the bookstore where Barty works.
Like really regular.
Like 'all of his regulars came in today' regular. 
The couple who comes here every two weeks to buy two books. Barty learned that they trade the books once they’re done with them and then have bookclub-style date nights. Which is really cute but totally not his thing.
The old ladies who come here for an actual bookclub. Barty had to stifle a laugh at today's choice, some 'murder mystery’ that was a lot more romance than their usual mystery or horror selection.
The one young boy who spends all his weekly allowance on the newest Batman and Spiderman comic.
Even the young woman with the service dog. Barty always has good conversations with her, even though he can never remember her name, and isn’t too keen on asking for the fourth time.
The entire day, Barty was waiting for the ball to drop. Waiting for a call from his boss telling him a shipment got delayed or that he’ll have to cover for Avery again because somehow he’s always sick the day there’s a concert playing in the city over. Figure that one out.
But none of that happened.
It was half an hour to closing when Barty heard the doorbell chime, signalling someone had just entered the store. 
Now, he doesn’t have the best view of the door from where the counter sits—his manager trying to get more stock shoved on the shelves rather than worrying about the safety of the store—so he doesn’t really see the customers until they ask a question or come to check out some items.
That’s how he found himself leaning over his counter, trying to figure out the new scheduling system on their computer. He'd been putting it off all day and just needs to get it done before the store falls into more chaos than it already is. But he just can’t even get past the sign-in. His manager left a sheet of employee codes, but every time he would input it, nothing would work.
That’s when the stack of computer science textbooks appeared on the counter in front of him. Ah, the customer was ready to pay. But if they’re taking computer science, would it be rude to ask for help? No, right?
Ugh. Whatever. Without even looking up, Barty talks to the customer. “Hey man, I’m gonna guess you have some sort of experience with computers or whatever... Um, this—” he turns the monitor and points to the screen. “—is not letting me sign in, like at all. And I kinda need my schedule.” The customer laughs a little and that causes Barty’s head to shoot up. Holy—
Fuck! Why did he have to be hot? Barty awkwardly smiles at the man; he thought he would look like just another college nerd, not a literal Greek god.
He quickly surveys the issue. “Are you forgetting your password?”
“Nope. I have it right here,” Barty smiles, very nervous and flustered about the situation.
“Hmm.” The customer places his head in his hand, surveying the screen before looking down to the keyboard. “Ah.” He reaches forward and clicks a single key. Caps Lock. Could this day get any more embarrassing?
“Thank you,” Barty sighs. Then turns the monitor towards himself again and enters the password, the little ding coming from the speaker, and the application finally loads. He looks over to the books on the counter before looking up at the man’s face again. “I wish I could give you one of those for free, but my boss didn’t really like it when I did that last time.”
“I’ll just take your number instead then,” he says casually.
Barty’s ears go red. Oh my god, did he just ask for my number? Ohmygodohmygod. “Uh–I. Sure.” Barty grabs out a new roll of receipt paper, the closest thing to scrap paper that he has right now, and rips off a piece, quickly scribbling out his number, praying he remembers all ten digits correctly.
He hands the paper off and smiles at him, waiting for the customer to say something and then leave. Except they just stand there in silence. Staring at each other.
That is, of course, until the ball drops. 
“...you gonna ring me up?” 
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outerbankspov · 2 years ago
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Hi, my love. I wanted to send in a request and ask if you could write a smut or a fluff writing about Rafe x kook!reader (bonus points if she’s a bitch cause you know I’m a whore for that). Literally any plot you want, but I’d love to see protective!Rafe ❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥
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Theme inspired 💭 @sweetestdesire
Warning- SMUTTTT .
- you’ve been mouthing off the whole day and Rafe wasn’t having it. It all started after a crazy party topper thrown. You and Rafe, hand to hand as you both got into his car to drive home and sleep.
“Rafe can you just… look at me.” You say with a soft voice. He doesn’t reply to you. He just grips the steering wheel.
“You-” he stops and shakes his head, letting out a deep breath. “You acting like a brat tonight is what’s got me like this.” You look at him like he was insane.
“A brat? Come on you are being ridiculous.” You shake your head. “I'm- just watch. when we get home you better be out of them clothes, naked on my bed with those legs spread and ready for me" you gulp and he looks at you waiting for your words. "yes rafe" you whisper and he nods and continues to drive. once you are back home your nerves are everywhere, knowing what's gonna happened and the fact that Rafe is behind you. It is like you can feel the heat radiating off him from behind you. When we are in the room he leans against your closed bedroom door, a cocky smirk, hands in his pocket, and shirt halfway off his body. He was so sexy, you needed to get naked like... now!
you take the sexy dress Rafe picked for you and turn around once the dress is off. legs pressed together, you bend down and lower your underwear, allowing him to see all that's his. "fuck Y/N you know how much I Love your pussy. my pussy" you bite your bottom lip and turned to face him. he looks down at your lips and breaths heavily. "Your lip, you know what that does to me" You give him your best desperate look that always gets him. "Please fuck me. not the way you always do. I want. I want you to be rough" you smile and he nods. in shock, his 'innocent girl' wants to be fucked hard? he's so hard right now it hurts. ''you dirty slut" he pulls her into a soft kiss and she pulls away. "I want you raw," she say out of breath. God he feels like he sees inside his head when he rolls herbed at how sexy she is and sounds.
`"On the bed now!' He growls. she gets on the bed and rafe immediately gets undressed and when he's fully naked he's ready to go down on her but she pushes him away with a smirk. "I'm already so wet just please please fuck me' you beg and the man couldn't love his girlfriend more. He lined himself up to her entrance and roughly pushed in, earning a deep groan from both of them. "shit... you feel so good, honey" you wince at his size and how bare he feels in you. "harder" you beg. "Greedy. love you" he flips you both and has you on top now, heels pressed on the bed while his knees are bent. he gives you a warning smirk that is unfamiliar to you and before you know it... you were bouncing so hard on his cock, you cried out in pleasure you lean your head in the crock of his neck but he wasn't having it. "nu-uh baby! wanna see you fall apart and cry on my dick" he grabs your face and you lean your forehead against his and he continues his brutal pace. Rafe grunted when you decided to go down on him. A loud moan slipped out and that was it.
“Your mine and only mine. Not that shit face wanna be Rafe Cameron okay?” His pace is so brutal your sure you’ve lost your mind and vocabulary.
“I’m yours” you moan between thrust.
“Hell yeah your mind.” He slaps both your ass cheeks leaving a good sting.
“That fucker putting his hands on you. Like he’s yours? Shit he’s lucky you’ve changed me, because I would’ve really liked to fuck him up.”
“Gosh. I’m yours…” you begin. Grabbing his hand and placing it on your cheats and down. “This is yours.” She led his hand to her neck and he squeezed it. “All yours” you whisper. He kisses her to hide the way he wants to moan at her actions.
“Fuck you are so fucking sexy. Need to marry you so bad. Fuck you stupid until you have my kids. Gosh imagine that? Fuckin’ love you.”
He stops his thrust and hold you down making you whine. “Let me” he moan as you try to move. “Stop being a brat.” He growls and flips you both over.
"next time he touches you I will fuck you right in front of him, show him what's mine," she clench around his dick making him growl in your ear. "my girl likes that?" he says with a smirk. "shit! cum for me. I can feel it" you moan loudy as he fucks you hard and fast. Before you know it you are gushing hard around him, shaking and moaning. The sight was all Rafe needs to cum. he moans and spills deep inside you, bucking his hips up. After a few minutes of breathing he pulls out and cleans you both up. pulling you into a hug and kisses your sweaty hairline. "love you Rafey. Always" you say. "Love you more babe" he kisses her one more time before he lets her sleep. He looks down at her peaceful sate and smiles, knowing he want's to marry her.
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rdng1230 · 5 months ago
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Any SalTommy headcanons?
Thanks for the ask I have literally So many! ok I’m putting these into categories. The first is happy fluffy fun, the second and third is something I’ll probably have to discuss in therapy next week 🙃. For reals, I almost deleted those last paragraphs because here this nice person has come to my ask box and my brain has decided to reciprocate with the most hurt no comfort shit it’s ever concocted. Ok happy stuff first!
Saltommy as besties:
they are attached at the hip and their two favorite activities are Muay Thai and action movie marathons. At some point they get overly into the Guy Ritchie British gangster type movies and Hen has to institute a “stupid British accent” jar for the two of them.
Tommy and Sal don’t hang out that often once they leave the 118. But Tommy is ride or die for Sal’s daughter. He’s the fun uncle that isn’t constantly there but when he is he does something insanely awesome like build her a treehouse or a bottle cannon or something.
The reason Gina dragged Sal to twilight was because she is bisexual and just as into Kristen Stewart as he is. When Tommy *finally* comes out it’s actually Sal that suggests Gina take Tommy to his first pride. Sal stays at home with his daughter so Tommy and Gina end up having a very fun and alcohol filled night a la the bachelor party that wasn’t. (goddammit I think I just gave myself another fic in the series to write.)
k well that’s enough happiness this is about to get insanely angsty for no fucking reason besides apparently that my brain wants me to suffer today. If your brain does not desire to feed the angst demon inside of you, for the love of god stop reading now. I will NOT be offended because I wrote the damn thing and I think I took it too far. Also it gets a lil NSFW from here.
Evil toxic fucked up Saltommy:
Tommy’s fucked up dad and then fucked up army superiors and then fucked up captain Gerrard taught tommy he was safer following the big tough guy. He knows Sal is bad for him, knows Sal doesn’t love him, but he figures being useful is good enough when he knows he won’t be wanted. He lets Sal take more than he should, usually discreet hand/blowjobs in the showers or broom closet (yeah the metaphor isn’t lost on him)
They have a horrible call where the one person they did manage to rescue suddenly codes in the ambulance. A version of Sal that Tommy’s never seen before shows up at Tommy’s house. It’s the only time Sal ever lets Tommy fuck him and after it’s over, Tommy holds him and runs his hand through Sal’s hair. They fall asleep together but when Tommy wakes up Sal is long gone. The following week Sal is absolutely vicious to everyone. He ends up getting hurt and Tommy patches him up. As Tommy sterilizes a wound just above his eye, Sal grabs his arm and stares at him. It’s an apology, and it’s also an ending. Tommy still follows Sal, always one pace behind, but they’re never intimate again.
Idk I guess doomed lovers Saltommy? Sal’s not as much of a monster but they’re still not healthy:
There’s always a heat to Tommy and Sal’s banter and Tommy genuinely wonders if someday Sal might tip them into something more. One of the 118 probies dies and Sal on some level believes it’s his fault. The night of the probies funeral Sal’s just numb and Tommy suggests Sal crash his couch. Tommy hates seeing Sal in pain like that and hovers in front of the bedroom door wondering if he should go to him. He’s shocked when Sal opens the door and suddenly they’re in Tommy’s bed. He’s surprised by how cuddly Sal is. (And if you’re like hey that sounds a bit like Booth & Brennan shhhhh you saw nothing)
after that they start sneaking around. At this point Gerrard is gone and they’re in the revolving door of captains stage. Tommy starts talking about potentially telling Hen and Chim, and Sal just knows deep in his gut that Tommy is the braver of the two of them, and Sal won’t be ready in the time Tommy needs him to be. Sal starts picking fights hoping Tommy will run off on his own. Eventually they do stop seeing each other romantically but Tommy’s still so *close* it’s driving Sal insane. He wants to run away with him and he wants to run away from him at the same time. When Bobby shows up and doesn’t know his ass from his elbow a lot of the time, Sal let’s all that anger and tension bubble up, on some level he knows he can’t bring himself to leave Tommy, so he pushes Bobby into sending him away by force.
After he moves to the 122 he buries himself in the work. He makes captain, even starts dating men, but still in the shadows. He hears through the grapevine that Tommy is dating the 118’s hotshot. He sees a photo of Tommy and Buck at the medal ceremony in the morning paper, looking so obviously head over heels for one another, and it’s the first and only sick day as a captain he ever takes.
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fruitbasketball · 3 months ago
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wnba recap 8/23
EXCELLENT night of hoops to cover tn 😮‍💨 i’m so ready y’all
las vegas aces vs minnesota lynx
we got to see this matchup again and i gotta say it feels like 2017 the way the lynx are so dominant rn. the fact that the aces are losing to them not once, but TWICE in a ROW… man. MAN.
a’ja was a little off her game - i rarely see her w out a double and shooting under 50%. problem with a’ja being off her game is it doesn’t feel like the rest of the starting five is stepping up. nobody even broke 15 points y’all like… this the back to back champs??? shitttt
like this is a team that is not taking care of the ball on either end of the floor. every single one of the starters turned the ball over at least 3 times except alysha, their efficiency was fine but come on. it’s the ACES. i’ve seen it way better, and considering this is a team they just LOST to??? obv we’re not even worried about playoff berth here - but damn! that should be an ego hit at the very least!
i just wanna talk about napheesa collier for a second. phee needs to be in more mvp convos. like in my head rn, the mvp ranking goes a’ja, phee, stewie. i don’t think that’s anything crazy, and obv i got AT up there, too.
look at what phee did tonight y’all!!!! i mean this shit is WILD: 27 points, 18 REBOUNDS??? ONE EIGHT?? EIGHTFUCKINGTEEN??? on 73% SHOOTING???? 50% from three y’all and 5 dimes and a couple steals like. that’s an insane stat line bro. it’s fucking NUTS. WHY are we not TALKING ABOUT PHEE??? maybe we are and i’m just not seeing it but… phee, man.
lord look at that husky
atlanta dream vs phoenix mercury
i cannot wait until the atlanta dream aren’t playing anymore bc i actually cannot stand watching them play. i got my stanny loyalties but haley jones is so painfully mediocre rn so i’m really just gonna leave it.
diana lorena taurasi a 360 pass is stupid. it’s STUPID. oh my god that shit is so dee i love it.
los angeles sparks vs washington mystics
hellooooo bueckers bowl!! paige watching this game, biting her fingernails, knowing she’s going to whichever team loses… man i love the w 💀💀💀
battle of the shitty franchises i fucking GUESS like… anyway slim had a gameeee (28 points), kira w a nice double double (14/11), ariel atkins with 15 too (you know i had to get my longhorn in there)
you know what LA’s fuckin problem is??? imma tell you what LA’s fuckin problem is. DOGSHIT efficiency. and y’all are like… yeah, no shit. but like ACTUALLY consider how ridiculous this is: they play a four-forward lineup and not ONE of their bigs breaches 50% fgp except rickea this game. WHAT the FUCK.
especially with THIS lineup?? clock the mismatch!!! you’re gonna have smaller guys on you - there is literally NO REASON they should be out scoring y’all in the paint.
OH MY GOD A1 FUCKIN TANK JOB LIKE JESUS FUCKING CHRIST
chicago sky vs connecticut sun
clock how close this was y’all: 82-80 sun win.
then clock that marina mabrey got 24 tn to get the W over her old team.
you can’t even script this shit bro it’s just too good 😭😭😭
man just one more board for AT for the triple: 12/9/11 like she really like that bro.
speaking of stats… how angel reese had 20 BOARDS?? just wiping down that glass tonight HOLY SHIT
yeah this should’ve been an easier win. every day i wonder how the FUCK chicago could’ve given up marina and why the FUCK they did when somebody got their pick anyway… jesus christ y’all
anyway… excited for the rest of the season and the postseason. college football coming up, i won’t yap about it but i’ll be internally insufferable about being in the sec now 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽 have a blessed night y’all
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justanotherdrfan · 9 months ago
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WELCOME ALL DANNY FANGIRLS TO YOUR INSTALMENT OF DANIEL RICCIARDO’S DTS BREAKDOWN! 🍯🦡
I’m leaving this one open since you all skipped straight to this episode! (I waited and I don’t know how)😂
S6E9 (Three’s a Crowd)
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DANNNNNNNNYYY BOYYY 😍😍😍😍😍😍
He’s already laughing (god I love him)
‘Alright, what’s up?, Daniel Ricardo, this is season six drive to survive, and yes I’m back’ (fangirling HARD)
WAIT HE WAS IN SYDNEY, HE WAS IN FUCKING SYDNEY (why did no one tell me I would have called sick at work)
Daniel and Blake I really wish you went ahead with that podcast because you two are poetic chaos together
Cue another Daniel montage (they have his whole discography on file don’t they?)
He looks so fucking tried though
Logan and Alex talking about DTS frothing at the mouth about Daniel returning is the most factually, correct thing I’ve ever heard 😂
Logan: ‘All I know is the most excited people when Danny Ricciardo came back was Netflix.’
Alex: ‘I literally think they had to change their pants three times. I know the episode already. Let…let me run it through. Ready? Here we have Danny Ricciardo watching on the sidelines. “Yeah, it hurts to not be racing.” Then all of a sudden, pans to Nyck de Vries. Lock up. [imitates brakes screeching]. Off the track. Crash. Oh shit! Boom. Fast-forward. Silverstone. Test. Daniel Ricciardo. Super quick. [laughs] Danny looking at it like…big smile on his face. “It is what it is. You know?” [man]“I never left” “I never left. I’m back,baby. Honey Badger. Don’t give a shit.” (Hire him now DTS because he nailed that)
Fuck why they got to follow that shit with Zandvoort though
Daniel whoring about in his Enchante tattoo thigh high shorts
“Feels right. Feels good” (It sure does Danny is sure does)
EVERYONE LOVES DANIEL
And they get him straight to a photoshoot to whore him out
THEY DID NOT USE HIM WINKING IN THE INTRO (da fuck you lot doing? Give the people what they want)
Yes Christian 2025 prospect (he’s a shoe in ahh? See what I did there) 😉👟🍾
FUCK YOU MICAHEL ITALIANO (why is he getting air time) I’m glad he’s left F1
OHH NO OHH NO OHH NO NO NO NO NO NO
IM CRYING AGAIN. I CRIED WHEN IT HAPPENED AND IM CRYING AGAIN
Ohh they have his X-ray
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Clairey bear
Cue Liam Lawson (I do love you but I missed Danny terribly)
The others telling Liam to be prepared (this is very welcome to our toxic work environment)
‘She doesn’t even go here’ (a Danica story)
Liam out qualifies all the red bull drivers (yes kiddo)
DANNY BACKS (SCREWS AND ALL) for engineering purposes only
Umm why are you hurting him? DONT TOUCH HIM! (Look yes I know it’s physiotherapy and he needs it. But I’ve broken my hand before the left one as well and driving a normal road car caused me to cry in pain so when I say don’t touch him I mean it)
I SWEAR TO GOD ZAK YOU STAY THEY HELL AWAY FROM HIM
Checo clips Yuki and he’s out (he probably thought it was Daniel trying to take his seat. It’s his in 2025 mate there’s no fighting it)
Ohh look Alpine with reliability issues (things you continue to see)
Yes DTS let’s show Russel’s crash from another angle 😂
POINTS FOR LIAM 🎉🥳
Are we positive he was in Sydney and not Perth?
Yes king SWEAT SWEAT SWEAT
Yuki GP time
Not Suzuka having Daniel, Yuki and Liam on all the banners
Poor Yuki being overwhelmed by the fans. I understand fans being excited but he’s cornered in the car and clearly doesn’t feel safe (and for Michael to be like it’s ok the fans are happy is actually the problem at hand. His and all the drivers safety has to come first and he point blank didn’t feel safe you arsehole Michael so it’s not okay)
Yuki honey it’s okay Liam not going to hit you
If we can’t have an Aussie a Kiwi will do
Liam finding out Daniel’s and Yuki are getting announced for 2024 🥺
Liam mate I’m sorry you deserve better
Mexi-coooooo
HES BACK BACK
Yes yes your P10 in the constructors (just you wait, just you fucking wait)
Checo out before turn 1 (its AUSGP all over again)
Ohh look another McLaren/Alpha Tauri incident 😤
No McLaren the plan is not to attack Daniel (haven’t you fucking done enough?)
P7 BABBYYYYYY
ENCHANTE, MON AMI
See your P8 now (told you to wait and see)
Yes Christian, Daniel did drive a good race (remember that and who didn’t)
Look at him and his little moustache
Will: ‘ I think this is only part one of a far wider story.’ (Yes 2024 season will be epic for Danny Ric)
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autisticlancemcclain · 2 years ago
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fic rec friday 11
welcome the the eleventh fic rec friday! where, on friday, i rec five of my favourite fics.  
1. Video Chats by @tomminowrites
Not long after leaving to join the Blades, Keith stops by the castleship to catch up with Voltron.
The visit was going normally, until the Red paladin lets slip that he's been video calling one of the paladins fairly regularly - unknown to rest of the team.
i LOVE this fic it makes me giggle like no other. i have this in my other collection, which is fics where lance gets teased mercilessly by the team for being a gay loser. this fic makes me laugh literally every time. fics where keith is doing his blade thing but comes back regularly to visit and theyre a family who loves each other my beloved
2.  Thinkin’ Bout You by @bleusarcelle & queerklancing
‘That was not my thought,’ Keith thinks, panic and confusion filling his chest, ‘That was not my thought, what the fu –‘
‘Dude,’ the unfamiliar voice cuts him off sharply, but Keith can hear the edge of fear lingering on its tone, ‘Dude, what the fuck –Get out!’
‘It’s my head, you get out! ’
‘No, it’s mine!’
Keith purses his lips and pokes his temple and then his cheek.
‘No, pretty sure it’s my body, my mind, and you’re a weird thing invading it.’
[Or that time Keith had a voice in his head singing and found out he had a quite unique soulmate link.]
early voltron fics my love. remembering fondly the days bleusarcelle and queerklancing dominated the klance tag lmfao. this one is sweet, fun, and it has the trope of all time in it: the phone call where someone sighs wistfully and says ‘i miss you’ and then the other person smiles and goes ‘look behind you, sweetheart’ and theyre THERE. gets me every time fr
3. so tell me darling do you wish we fall in love? by crystalklances/orphan_account
Keith is chosen to represent the Paladins for a diplomatic dinner gala. There's just one problem—he has to bring a spouse. Lucky for him, Lance is ready to play his fake fiancé.
i’ll tell you i was CRUSHED when crystalklances orphaned his account. dude i miss u every day. but thank god all his fics are still available! this one is one of my faves he ever wrote bc it has fake/pretend relationship with good communication somehow. truly art.
4. Like A Prayer by @lancesexual /orphan_account [EXLPLICIT]
"God, I'm so happy with you," Lance whispered.
Something dangerous and soft erupted in Keith's chest, threatening to consume him.
2016 FIC ELITENESS. fuck man. im so serious when i say 2016 immediately means the fic has twenty bonus points. love love love. this is soft and sweet and floundering. i love it when both of them arent sure about anything but each other
5. True Love or Something by @deerstalkerdeathfrisbee
“So that was…” “If you say painless I’m shoving you into another snowdrift.” “Okay, that’s fair. But you got a lollipop!” “That you stole from pediatrics.” “I’m a very good date.”
Lance accidentally crashes into his new neighbor in front of their mailboxes and somehow ends the night with a very attractive (and slightly concussed) date.
ive saved the best for last! i started reading this when i was a young teen (more 2016 love) and it updated steadily for years. this series redefined what love means to me. i will always have the characters in the back of my head, i will always love everything about this series and story and will hold every part of it so dear to my heart. if you have to read one series in the fandom, this one should be a top contender!
that’s it for today!! i’ll see y’all back next friday for the next fic rec post!!!  
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emmyrosee · 2 years ago
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HI HI HI I came up with this one when I was in a superrrrr giggly mood and I’ve been saving it up in my little notes thing so I hope you enjoy Suna 2 hehe <3 (and it’s fitting bc I’m in a mood similar to that again now 😭)
BUT ANYWAY!!!!
Suna sending you pictures from his camera roll/more texts/making you laugh in general in situations you shouldn’t be laughing (like a lecture or something). words, inside jokes, memes that he just KNOWS are going to fuel the fire. He will watch you struggle to hold in a laugh with tears in your eyes when someone calls you out with the fondest look on his face (which he’ll try to hide ofc cause he doesn’t want anyone to know he’s part of the issue, the little shit)??? He’ll push it to the point where you can’t even look at him for the rest of whatever it is you’re doing without immediately having to look away in order to not make a scene. God forbid you guys are sitting NEXT to each other, he’s going to make your life a living hell. He’s less likely to do it when you two are sitting together, actually, cause he has less self control and will probably end up wheezing too. At least from across the room he can hide his amusement and the most emotion that comes through is his stupid little smirk. (it doesn’t have to be this setting, this man will literally make sure to do it in the WORST possible situations for you bc he’s nothing if not a menace who wants to see his baby loosen up a bit bc of him)
But honestly he just loves to make you laugh and seeing you lose control like that just makes him so soft. Later, when you’re annoyed with him for making you suffer like that (even if you both know it was incredibly funny) he will gladly cuddle you as an apology. And if you’re willing, he’ll show you a couple other things he had in his arsenal to hear your laughter clearly this time (in whatever form you see fit!!)
anon <3
ISNSOSNSOSNOSKS S T O P MY BESTIE AND I LITERALLY HAVE THIS ONE MEME I SENT HER, AND DEADASS WELL BE IN A WORK MEETING AND INSTANTLY JUST START CACKLIGN SOENDOENOS-
But honestly like. He is the absolute worst.
Because okay. Like, rintaro knows when it’s not time to fuck around because it’s serious (which is like. 0.003% of the time you’re together, other times you’ll just swat the shit out of him-) but he considers any other time free game, because he can see the way your shoulders tense, or the way you gnaw at your lip, or dig at your cuticles, and he hates to see you like that.
So. Like any other menace, he sends the worst kinds of things at the worst kind of times.
One time, you were out with some friends who were just kind of like, not engaging with you, so when you texted Rin to tell him you were bored, he immediately sends this tiktok, and it has you choking on your drink.
A few weeks ago, his family was having a little get together, and despite having been together for years, you still sometimes get a little shaky around his family, so, naturally, as you’re talking to his aunts and mother, he sends you this meme, and it makes you snort aloud.
It has his poor aunts chuckling awkwardly, and you scowl because you know damn well in the hammock seat three yards away, some dickhead with a middle part is snickering victoriously.
Even yesterday, when you were getting ready to leave, you slipped and fell on your ass, and a few hours later, you got this tiktok sent to you, and it had you tearing up to hide your laughter at work.
And it’s like. Healthy, because once you start firing back at him, the two of you going out just becomes an absolute mess of laughter and wheezing and the occasional annoyed look but tf they looking at, they’re just jealous-
This tiktok in particular almost got you kicked out of a restaurant from a few noise complaints, mainly from his snorts.
And even if it’s not always appreciated, it’s always from a good place. And that’s what makes it special; be it something dumb like fart noises, or cat pictures, it’s always something he knows is going to make you lose your mind in the best way he thinks you need it.
Of course it is best to see him nudging for your attention when you pretend to be mad about it.
“I know you laughed,” he whined, tugging at your shirt. “Come onnnnn, we got yelled at together!”
“It was embarrassing,” you grumble.
“You’re already dating me, how much more embarrassing could you think this gets?”
That, to your dismay, gives him another snort, and now that he knows you’re not actually upset, he leans over to nuzzle his head against your cheeks and neck, “you can’t resist me and you know it.”
“I hate you so much,” you scoff, trying to shrink your shoulders to get his face away, “and fuck off with the ears and neck shit!”
“I thought you liked when I whispered in your ear,” he teases, despite knowing you, in fact, have extremely mixed feelings about said action.
And sure, when you shove him off the bed to get away from him and it sparks a whole new round of play fighting, both of you know it’ll end with your head on his chest, his slender fingers gently rubbing up and down your back while his other hand shows you the knew chaos on his for you page.
It’s a cycle at this point.
And you’re fairly sure it’s not one he’s looking to break anytime soon 🥺💖
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faeratil · 23 days ago
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Little mini rant:
So I have a lethal allergy to lavender which I know is a rare and odd allergy to have, but it is what it is. We sell earl grey tea at work which has lavender in it, and almost everyone on the crew is super good about making sure I’m in the back and far away from the tea bags whenever they have to make a drink with the earl grey. They make sure everything is cleaned and sanitized and that whatever trash can they throw away the tea bags and wrappers in gets tied off and taken outside immediately, and they won’t let me back up front until the air has cleared.
One specific coworker doesn’t seem to understand the concept of a lethal allergy, though. We had a mini meeting last night with just a small number of employees, and this specific coworker decided to order an earl grey tea, not tell me, and then sit right next to me. Thank god one of my other coworkers called it out immediately so I could move further away.
Now, you would think that after hearing that your drink could kill someone sitting near you, that you’d do something to close off the drink or go dump it out and get a new one before you leave or literally anything that would keep the person safe. But no, they continued to drink their tea, even taking the lid off at one point to which everyone in the store was like “dude wtf are you doing”.
I sat as far away as I could and covered my mouth and nose so as not to inhale the lavender, but not even 10 minutes into the meeting my skin was crawling and itching all over, my eyes were watering, my nose was running, my throat and mouth were dry and itchy, and I could feel my chest and throat tightening. I had to get up and run to the back to take an allergy pill, drink water, use my inhaler, and ready my epipen if it got worse. They could hear me coughing from the front of house, trying just to fucking breathe.
And this bitch just kept on sipping on their tea like they didn’t just almost kill me. Allergies aren’t a fucking joke, and if you are aware of someone’s allergies and know that you are the reason they’re having a reaction but still choose not to do anything about it or acknowledge it, you are an asshole.
One of my other coworkers literally had to come into the back just to make sure I wasn’t about to go into anaphylaxis and even had their phone ready to call an ambulance if needed.
Be a decent fucking human being, and be mindful of not fucking killing your coworkers.
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