#i’m in the middle of my s1 rewatch

[lynpheas]

diaspro is such a victim to bloom’s shit omfg 😭 now that i’m older, i understand why bloom jumps to conclusions about the trix pulling a fast one on her especially after they just tried to convince her she was a witch and they’d previously impersonated stella. but omg, diaspro was literally just living her life (even though she’s clearly classist and arrogant) when bloom pulls all this creepy subterfuge to get her alone and fight her lmao… and i forgot how it is in the 4kids/nick dubs, but bloom and sky (“brandon”) aren’t even explicitly dating yet. they just mutually like each other but bloom keeps reassuring the winx that “brandon” is just a friend. this situation is just a whole mess LOL

[visenyaism]

I haven’t rewatched S1 since absorbing HOTD discourse in recent weeks, and I feel like I’m forgetting something key about Cristin. A lot of people/posts seem to say that he’s a huge misogynist/bastion of the patriarchy/incel and this very well may be true but my main memory is him saying that Rhae is a c*nt once, which is bad ofc but not out of line with anything else rude that people say in-universe really (imo). I remember thinking that he seems like he really hates 1 woman in particular for reasons unique to him, but if this is true it doesn’t seem to make him any worse than anyone else in this world. HOWEVER, I only watched ep 8-10 once when they aired so may have missed key elements of his character.

i would argue the way he treated and talks about rhaenyra and alicent expose his wider belief on women like his madonna-whore complex the size of earth’s moon where you are made in the image of the maiden and must be spoken of with respect but the second you express sexuality or any other desire as a woman you become a manipulative spoiled cunty spider seductress. no middle ground. like his feelings about rhaenyra have little to no basis in who she is as a person she’s just the unfortunate vehicle in his mind for all of his insane thoughts about sex and gender and knighthood vows because they fucked once. also it’s the way that he violently enforces heteropatriarchy with his sword and body.

[justlikeeddie]

all of layton and nikita's strictly dances ranked CORRECTLY by ME

14. Samba, Week 1

unfair to have to rank this one really because nobody really knows what they’re doing in week 1. FASCINATING to go back and watch this though. obvs this is strong in the context of a first week dance! but knowing where they’re going to go from here… this is the one and only time you can see that nikita is dancing layton through the steps and keeping him afloat. they’re not yet a PARTNERSHIP here. they don’t KNOW each other!!! anyway good luck to these boys with navigating what they are going to experience over the next three months <3

13. American Smooth, Week 10

the infamous bottom-two dance. a result which i believe was undeserved!!! but the american smooth IS the most boring category on strictly unfortunately, so it’s a humble placing for this one. i did not love their outfits, for once! why don’t they go together. why does nikita look like peter pan. however, obviously i liked it when they both picked each other up and did a little skip in the air. also enjoyed how much craig enjoyed being bammed up by the ending.

12. Rumba, Week 12

controversial to place this so low in the ranking perhaps?? obviously this was a complex routine that they performed beautifully AND was very tender and intimate. but the rumba is the second most boring dance on strictly after the american smooth i’m afraid I’M SORRY. however, points awarded for nikita saying afterwards that dancing this felt like the rest of the world fell away and they were the only two people in existence. girl what

11. Salsa, Week 5

a great dance! fun! good vibes! their first lift! followed by a bit that i like where nikita has to sort of kick layton upright again. loses points ONLY for being perhaps their least homoerotic dance, which one of them, i guess, has to be.

10. Tango, Week 6

all the ingredients for greatness are here. TANGO. HALLOWEEN. layton is in high goth drag. nikita looks a bit like paul gross as geoffrey tennant as hamlet in the flashback sections of slings and arrows s1. but weirdly i don’t think this dance quite lives up to the level of drama i expected from it. having just rewatched it i think it’s because they’re ACTING like it’s a MELODRAMA, and it FEELS like they’re acting, as opposed to the way they usually totally inhabit the narrative of a dance. however. the switch from this vibe into the denouement - the BACKFLIP (fuck!!!) - and then the breathy, drawn-out final moment, which they suddenly ARE inhabiting, braced over each other and staring into each other’s eyes like they are ON GOD going to fuck in the middle of the dancefloor, is astonishing. once again i am asking the bbc if this is what they thought they were going to air

9. Cha-cha-cha, Week 4

okay. we are entering the section of the list where everything from here on down pretty much makes me feral. layton is everything in that jumpsuit. the THROW into the SPLITS. the raw sexual dynamism somehow contained within nikita taking layton’s coat for him. unbearable.

8. Charleston, Week 12

off the charts crazy. how can people move like this. they CARTWHEELED across the STAGE for what felt like YEARS. points only deducted for the fact that when nikita cried in the interview afterwards because he loved layton so much he had to do it in this extremely silly outfit.

7. Quickstep, Week 2

they danced the equivalent of a gay leyendecker illustration in week 2. IN WEEK 2 THEY DID THIS. they’re having so much FUN here. and to follow up on the week 1 ranking, the transformation from them feeling like a professional and a celeb to two people actually dancing together happens SO fast. it’s only a week later, but already something’s changed; layton’s totally at home in the routine and nikita’s REALLY enjoying it. it’s just so nice and i love them so much :’) also the quickstep is one of my favourite strictly dances because it’s inherently funny watching grown adults run full-pelt around a room and occasionally do a little skip. perfect 90 seconds of television.

6. Viennese Waltz, Week 3

ok so this is actually one of their lowest scoring dances on the show. but NOT according to my ranking. this ought to feel as faux-dramatic as the vampire tango but it doesn’t. something is HAPPENING between them in this dance and it’s real. i could write paragraphs about the eternities contained within the long, long seconds of them holding each other after it’s over, which goes on for long enough that the editor just has to like. give up and cut away from them. i’ve been linking to the bbc’s youtube clips throughout this post, but if you have access to iplayer i strongly recommend you watch this dance as aired (i have linked to the timestamp for your convenience) in order to see the full effect of this ending. there’s something about the combination of… the sincerity of the dance. the gender of it all. the refusal to break character. nikita’s slightly baffled-looking parents in the audience lending whatever the fuck is going on here a bizarre frisson. i’m completely obsessed with it

5. Jive, Week 7

the first thirty seconds of this dance genuinely make me feel like i’m coming up. overwhelming transition from the sexy sexy opening section (why are they dressed as little sailor boys? why are they touching like that?) into the supercharged beat of the side-by-side. people pay good money to feel like this. as has been pointed out, the jive is not a traditionally racy dance, and my question to nikita as choreographer is: why

4. Showdance, Week 13

cunt. cunt. cunt. cunt. the absolute fucking serve of the matching slutty magician elbow-length gloves. nikita dropping his hat while layton executes everything perfectly. obviously in the finale, homophobia won <3 but my god. they ATE. no notes.

3. Paso Doble, Week 11

i have said this before. but dancing to BACKSTAGE ROMANCE. in a show where i (facetiously) believe they may be experiencing a BACKSTAGE ROMANCE. seems illegal. anyway. this dance is insane. almost worth them being in the bottom two in week 10 in order for them to produce the unbridled energy of this comeback. as a category the paso doble has similarly melodramatic energy to the tango, but this performance is so unlike the slightly campy vampire number; they’re IN it, they’re living and feeling and breathing every moment. something about the mood of this dance, the power dynamics of it, nikita on the floor looking up at layton in awe as he emerges at his absolute fucking fiercest - happening in THIS week, rising above the stress of relegation and the overwhelming tide of online hate, is, like, pretty incredible, tbh. also the series of searingly erotic snapshot poses at the beginning of this routine are among the worst things i have been subjected to on this show, and as you may be gathering from this list, this is a crowded category.

2. Argentine Tango, Week 8

god it was a TOUGH GODDAMN CALL on these top two places. and tbh i think this is actually, truly, their best dance. the sheer SKILL here… whatever the move is where layton has to jump in the air and kick his little leggies around… stunning. i don’t really have a comical paragraph to write about this because i genuinely think it’s an incredible piece of dance and there’s not much more to add to that. however, extra points for the truly unhinged decision to do some dom nikita roleplay at the end? again, please watch this one on iplayer to experience the full unedited effect.

1. Couple’s Choice, Week 9

as i say. probably, technically, the argentine tango is better. but if i think about any element of this routine, i immediately black out. i cannot stress enough that he is standing on his back. he is STANDING. on his BACK. nikita choreographed this dance and he was like. i want you to stand on my back. PLEASE don’t worry about it. watching this routine is like looking into the sun. if i saw two men doing this in the club i would have to politely turn away to respect their privacy. also sorry to do this for a final time but i also need you to watch this one on iplayer because nikita stays on that pole at the end for so much longer than you are expecting and then does something sooooo unnecessary. this dance should be expunged from the internet so that i never have to contemplate it again.

[dukeofdelirium]

In complete honesty, I kind of wish that Stranger Things would have just been two high quality seasons. They should have let El die in S1, and then focused on Mike, Will, and the origins of the Upside Down in S2. At this point, the story has been dragged on for so long, and, if S5 fails to recontextualize a lot of things from S3 and S4, there was a lot of unnecessary filler that just weighed the entire show down.

I agree with this pretty heavily. It’s obvious that they dragged storylines out and didn’t have everything completely plotted by how dysfunctional s3 and 4 are in comparison with s1 and 2. It almost feels like two completely different shows. When s3 first aired, I almost didn’t finish it because I hated it that much. S4 was pretty similar tbh… the NINA plotline and the Russian shit was so terrible that me and my sister debated skipping the scenes I’m not even kidding lol. Literally the only thing that kept us watching vol 2 was any crumb of Mike and Will scenes and then seeing what happened with Max. That was fr it. The second we finished vol 2 we immediately turned off the tv and then started shit talking it 😂 we were NOT impressed lol.

The Russian plot was dumb as fuck in s3, and it was even worse in s4. Literally the dumbest thing this show ever tried to pull and comes across as more unbelievable than inter-dimensional monsters lol. Idgaf about the Russian fuckery. It’s fucking stupid as hell and I can feel myself losing braincells in real time whenever I have to rewatch scenes of it. Idgaf about the NINA bullshit, when the hell are we gonna move on from this dumb lab/rainbow room/Papa nonsense and get to shit that really matters?

The whole Russian thing is actually what makes the Hawkins lab and stuff dumb lol bc it went from the American gov being the enemy to now suddenly it’s evil Russians like stfu get out of here with this nonsense I cantttttt

And don’t even get me started on the dumb relationship drama in s3. If I wanted to watch a show about middle schoolers making out I wouldn’t be looking for it in stranger things, that’s first of all. Second of all, none of this has any depth and the only reason it matters in any context is to develop Byler and their rain scene is one of the only memorable scenes of the season. Idgaf about hopper and Joyce acting like 12 year olds. Idgaf about Billy’s wack ass redemption. Idgaf that El raises her hand and screams for the billionth time or that she loses her powers cuz guess what… she gets them back. *pretends to be shocked*

Fr, s5 has to recontextualize multiple seasons or else this show will have been a huge disappointment. S4 was ok. But as I said, that’s all it was. Okay. Not great. Not even necessarily good. Just meh. The only good parts were the Hawkins group with Max (she was the best part of the season) and then Mike and Will’s scenes. That’s literally it lmao. The Russian plot? Dumb. El and the NINA shit? Dumb. Yawn, don’t care. Let me spend time with characters I care about please and thank you.

I long for the return of s2 quality….. when Mike realizes Will is compromised and that he’s the spy and Will sends all those soldiers to their gruesome deaths…. come on that was peak cinema. Bring it back. I miss it…. we were a country once

[raemoriendi]

I’m smack in the middle of a spontaneous rewatch, so do you wanna hear my batshit zombie land saga theory?

(yeah you do, here we go)

so, this guy —

is obviously not who he says he is. mysterious idol producer who spent enough time in hollywood learning makeup sfx skills that makes zombies regularly look like normal living teenage girls, who then despite his apparent egregious talent with a makeup brush, returns to his very small and little known hometown in japan? who happens to also figure out how to bring back girls that have been killed by the Saga curse?

yeah, we as the audience are set up to know there’s more to him that meets the eye. especially with the flashback to him as Sakura’s pre-death classmate, Inui, which I am mentally chewing on like a dog with a bone.

(like romero here.)

but!! while I don’t have a lot of proof, and I'm working from the anime alone (not the manga that came out after or Zombie Land Saga Gaiden), due to my own weird special interest in funerary practices, I have a theory about what he might actually be:

Kotaro either is or was at some point, a mortician, or a yukanshi/nōkanshi.

(putting this under a cut, because it gets long, and also for some s1 and s2 spoilers.)

this initially occurred to me in season one, episode two, when we first saw Kotaro putting makeup on Sakura before a show in the back of the van, specifically applying a flesh-colored putty with something that looked like an offhand spatula to the big scar in the middle of her forehead. You can see it at the timestamp 14:11.

this reminded me of something called Embalmer’s Putty, which is used in the embalming process (or a general process of touching up the decedent minus chemical preservation) to fill in wounds for a viewing, visiting hours, or any gathering where the deceased’s loved ones might want to see their body for a last time.

here are screengrabs from two different funerary equipment companies showing what embalmer’s putty looks like and what it can do:

embalming putty can be already flesh-toned so as to look like living skin, and thus blend in with the mortician’s final product: making the deceased look more lively and at rest, restoring their dignity and giving peace of mind to the bereaved who want to see them off.

this process is actually really well summarized here, in this article from Regal Casket company:

if Kotaro was trained as a mortician or funerary cosmetologist, he would be trained to do exactly what he does every time he helps the girls get ready: making them look alive, healthy, and most importantly, lacking any visible mortal wounds that could upset their living audience. The girls themselves remark on how he makes them not only look like their old selves, but at times even better than before. this is exactly the type of skill set he would need to cultivate if he was preparing bodies for a last moment together with the deceased's loved ones, so they don't remember the celebrant as they were when they died, but how they looked in life.

keep in mind also that if Kotaro really had learned his makeup skills in Hollywood, he would have learned how to apply wound makeup/sfx to in-tact, healthy, living skin to make it look dead or wounded, not the other way around. makeup artists, even special effects makeup artists, are not taught how to work with dead or decaying human skin.

on top of this, a regular special effects artist would not be trained to fill grave injuries or mortal wounds, because their canvases are all living, presumably healthy people with no major injuries, who are able to go on movie sets and act for hours and hours at a time.

Kotaro wouldn’t (or shouldn’t) even be using the same kind of makeup that would go on living people, because dead bodies, obviously, are often room temperature at most when they’re being prepared for viewing, if not colder due to being held temporarily in cooling storage to prevent decay. funerary cosmetics are specifically formulated to account for this lack of temperature in a dead person, because makeup spreads differently over cold skin as compared to the warm skin of someone alive. trying to put on regular makeup, even special effects makeup, would look more than off - something Franchouchou is definitely keen to avoid if they want to keep their cover. (Or wanted to, before the storm aftermath of s2.)

some other points of interest that (to me) can be read to support this theory:

Kotaro drives a black van. while not a hearse (or “funeral coach” as the industry sometimes calls them) it’s still the right color to blend in to a funeral procession if needed, and large enough to store necessary equipment for services, viewings, etc.

Kotaro is always in a suit except when he's bathing or sleeping - specifically, a dark-colored suit. Even when the man was in a full depressive episode by the beginning of s2, he still kept his suit pants and dress shirt. It serves the purpose of being seen as a (semi-)competent idol producer who’s always ready to make a deal for his band, sure! but if his day job when he don’t see him (going away “on business” like during the episode Sakura had amnesia) it also suits him working in the somber, subdued environment of a funeral home. (minus the shades, red vest, and dried squid in his pocket. those are likely just part of his persona for Franchouchou's sake.)

Kotaro had to become familiar with resurrection magic somehow. Who’s to say he couldn’t come into contact with it during his work at a funeral home or as a mortician, something that would keep him adjacent to death and its sacred rites and practices? possibly from a young age, considering many funeral workers can start an apprenticeship or internship in their late teens? Wouldn’t that make more sense contextually than him just stumbling across it in a library, or randomly in a magical encounter in a world where zombies exist?

Kotaro coughing up blood at the end of s2 might be the Curse, but it might also be the stress of managing Franchouchou on top of the stress of his day job. these positions can be highly taxing emotionally and physically, as one needs to be a steadying presence for people on some of the worst days of their lives, and while embalming isn't as much of a thing in Japan (to my knowledge), exposure to certain chemicals from the restoration process over time has proven to be hazardous to one's health.

“okay, rae, maybe,” you’re saying. “but some of these are still kind of a stretch.”

this is where I get a little more speculative, but bear with me:

from the brief glimpse we have of him as Inui, and based on the translation of “Inui” and “Tatsumi” being opposite directions (northwest and southeast, respectively), we know that Kotaro wasn’t always this brash, loud idiot producer we know today. there was apparently a point in high school where he was very shy, and was maybe friends with Sakura, or at least acquaintences.

what if Inui was so shy and soft-spoken because he had grown up in the world of funerary traditions? many funeral homes are often generational, handed down from parent to child as a family business. someone accustomed (or maybe just exposed) to death that early might have some reasons to be kind of quiet and withdrawn.

this might also account for how he knew about the other dead girls of Franchouchou before Sakura. if one of his parents or even his grandparents were handling Saga’s deceased, he would have had an opportunity to hear about the accidents that killed them before the news spread as widely, encounter them in the restoration stage as dead bodies (depending on when they happened and if he was alive yet), and even seen their makeup applied by his predecessors if he was allowed in the prep room, or at least hear their recollections of it after the fact.

we know that he’s descended from Kiichi, Yugiri's love interest from when she was alive, who was a young man dedicated to seeing Saga's return after it merged with another region and lost its name. we also know he's being mentored by the immortal bartender Jofuku, who's said to be Saga's living embodiment, and supposedly is or is based on a wizard from mythology who discovered the Elixir of Immortality. while Jofuku is a likely source for the magic of necromancy, and maybe even selected the girls he wanted resurrected, it would make sense that people involved with Saga's dead were in contact to some degree with the man who is Saga itself, especially since the ZSL fandom wiki has noted that Saga's Curse in current times has manifested as a low birth rate and aging population. if there are more dead and dying in Saga than there are living, a family funeral home would be kept quite busy, on top of all the random accidents that the Curse causes to cut down people who would bring Saga recognition or prosperity.

so let's try this on for size: Inui grows up in a family of yukanshi/nōkanshi, who prepare the decedents for customary otsuya -- a wake held the night before the funeral itself, meant to give the living bereaved a last night to spend with their late loved one. his family likely also participates to some degree in the funeral ceremony itself (osohiki) and the cremation (kasou) before the ashes are interred. (I got my info on Japanese funerals here, as imperfect as it may be.) Inui learns about the historical funerals of Saga's famous dead that he wasn't around for through his family's experiences or through their ties to Jofuku. He begins training to take over the family business maybe as a teenager, this peculiar adolescence maybe leaving him a little more reserved than his classmates.

it might also give him the chance to practice his proficiency with music composition and his instruments -- song selection is a not-small part of modern funerary practices. maybe his family encouraged him to learn to write songs and play so he could perform at funerals? his stage fright evidenced in other episodes would shut that down pretty quickly, of course, but maybe this interest in music is how he becomes friends with Sakura to begin with, as evidenced by the clip of the CD exchange.

but then Sakura is killed in a terrible accident and his world turns upside down. it's bad enough that he's grieving, but then her body might come to his family's funeral home to be prepared for her ceremony and interment. he sees this lively, determined girl he admired dead and cold on the prep room table, her beautiful face ruined, and it's just not fair. how can his heart not break?

maybe he goes to Jofuku and demands to know what the old man knows about bringing people back, and the Curse. maybe he's less direct, but seeks the knowledge of necromancy for himself, with his family so close to death for so many generations. he continues his training for ten years, learning all he can about how to make the dearly departed look like themselves again. look better than themselves, even.

when the Zombie Land Saga Project is in the planning stages, living in a funeral family might give him access to or secondhand knowledge of where all the girls' ashes are interred. eventually, his line of work gives him the opportunity to collect however much he needs from each for the magic to work.

he knows it can, because even though Jofuku himself has never died, Romero has, and has been successfully brought back at some point. he's a little weird and not the prettiest, but he's still very much a dog.

ten years later, when the spell takes hold and his undead Saga champions resurrect, he knows how to make each and every one of them look like their old selves again.

he does Sakura's makeup first, just to see his old friend again as he remembered her.

we know how the rest goes from there, but this is my overarching theory that explains Why Kotaro Tatsumi outside his relationship to Sakura, but also how he could come up with Zombie Land Saga outside of just being a citizen of Saga himself.

anyway!! apologies if this was scattered, I wrote it in dribs and drabs throughout the day, but it's been gnawing at me for a minute. if there's anything canon I don't know about that completely obliterates this theory, then just call it an AU, and if this has already been agreed on in other parts of fandom, just call me fashionably late.

if you've read this long, you're a sweetheart <3

[catastrophicdisasters]

i promised myself i wouldnt keep inflicting TUA essays on people who... probably do not want to hear them lmfao so, MORE YAPPING INTO THE VOID

i'm in the middle of my rewatch rn (i am not going to be caught up in time but we're not thinking abt that rn) and have Thoughts abt the Luther / Allison... thing

SO!!

i mean, we all agree while it's not technically incest... it's still incest, right? that said, they did kind of pop off with the dancing in the moonlight dance scene. i rlly want the dress Emmy wears, it's so pretty

BUT like, i remember watching it the first time and being like "... why?" bc it's just... it's kinda cute, but mostly it's just weird. even at the time, i didnt think it was going to last the season, i fully expected (hoped) for it to get wrapped in the "we shouldnt be doing this" by the end of s1

but watching it back it really just highlights how alone they both are? that, realistically, it was never more than a friendship / tiny crush, that just... ended up going to more places than it should've because they were just so, so isolated from normal life?

allison says it herself - "maybe you're the only person who really knows who I am and still likes me anyway". they never had any real human connection other than the rest of the Umbrellas - they were child celebrities, superheroes, even!

and Allison may have left, may have had a life outside of the academy, but when you think about it she went from being a famous child superhero to a famous actor - nobody ever knew her. it's even implied that she rumoured patrick to love her ('i heard a rumour that you love me'), so it's likely that even her husband didn't really know who she was. and also, let's face it, who in the 'real world' is really going to understand what it's like to be part of a family of superheros and raised by a robot mother and... Reginald? (im not even gonna begin to unpack what he did to those kids, jfc) other than someone else that was there, who experienced all of it, right along side you

(shared trauma, and all that)

"You're the sweetest, kindest man I've ever known" - yeah, probably because every other man she's ever met has wanted to use her for something, most likely her fame. to be able to say that they dated ~Allison Hargreeves~, one of the amazing Umbrella Academy kids, or that famous actress, and not because they actually liked her or had any interest in her as a person. or, she rumoured them to be interested in her, so the entire 'connection' she had with them was fake from the outset - entirely built on lies and superficial bullshit

(coming back to this at the start of s1e8, the way she visibly deflates and looks kind of uncomfortable/resigned when the policeman recognises her and starts acting differently. but then she takes advantage of it. admittedly, in this case, she’s trying to hunt down her sibling, but... you know?)

in fact, it's likely that none of her connections outside of the academy were ever real, so it's not surprising that Luther is the only one she felt that kind of connected to. they all talk about how Five thought he was superior to them all, even before he jumped; Viktor was left out of everything;, none of them took Klaus seriously, and i'm p sure i remember it showing him rolling a joint at a breakfast; it sounded like Diego and Luther were always at odds with each other (and if she was closest with Luther anyway, she'd take his side in any arguments); and Ben looked pretty shy, and then he was gone too.

and Luther... Luther lived to be Spaceboy, the academy's Number One. he says it, too: "I sacrificed everything for him, my entire life. I never left this house, I never had friends, and for what?". maybe Allison had these fake connections, but Luther didn't even have that

so it's not surprising that they were - or thought they were - in love with each other. they literally have no idea what real human connection looks or feels like

i don't think their relationship was ever meant to be anything other than a way to highlight that, personally

everybody else's trauma manifests in clear ways, but Allison? with her movie star life, her husband and child? she's normal! she got away! and Luther? he was happy as Spaceboy, nothing bothered him! just endless frustration at his siblings who didn't take their jobs seriously.

wrong.

and their weird little psuedo-incestuous relationship proves that

at least to me, anyway! obvs youre free to disagree with me lmao, and i havent gotten to s2 in my rewatch yet so i couldve forgotten / missed something entirely obvious

ONE DAY LEFT IM NOT READY

[kalena-henden]

These are all the shows I’ve watched in 2023 so far...

finished:

Alchemy of Souls: Light and Shadow - Fantastic finish to the story! Top 3 Kdrama.

Unlock My Boss - Chae Jong Hyeop shines as an aspiring actor who winds up taking the roll of a lifetime as the new CEO of a tech company when the soul of the previous CEO gets stuck inside his phone. Wild concept but fun found family, corporate intrigue, and a sweet little romance that brews between the young new CEO and his assistant.

The Forbidden Marriage - Top 5 Kdrama. If you want romance, comedy, angst, and alot of love, this is your show. I had so much fun and was rewatching while it was airing.

King2Hearts - An unlikely romance sparks between a South Korean prince and a top North Korean (female) soldier leads to potential reconciliation between their two countries that is threatened by a crazy arms dealer whose cover is a magician. This a James Bond inspired, enemies to lovers, family dynasty, international war games drama. The unhinged villain has his own lair and minions but the only one who can match his off kilter mind games is the wily prince, who is equal parts smart, asshole, and lovable. The North Korean soldier is one of the only one��s who can go toe-to-toe with the prince to eventually bring out the best in him as they fall in love that is literally ride or die. There’s also a secondary romance with the princess and a royal guard. I loved parts of this and liked the rest.

Poong the Joseon Psychiatrist (S1 & S2) - I’m a big Kim Min Jae fan. He shines as a medical doctor who experiences trauma that drives him to suicide. He is saved by a passing noble woman and a short while later he saves her from suicide due to her own trauma. Both of them end up working at a rural clinic with another exiled doctor to treat the locals physical needs but also begin a new practice to treat people’s mental health needs as they try to recover from their own traumas. I loved S1 but S2 brought on some annoying new antagonistic love interests. It is a happy ending though.

Lighter & Princess - A poor computer programing genius clashes with an ambitious rich girl in his college classes but sparks fly when they vie for control of the school’s entrepreneurial programming club leading to unlikely but hard won romance. This was excellent. 

Love to Hate You - A brash entertainment lawyer gets entangled with a romance actor who keeps his distance from women due to a trauma. A bit over the top, lots of role reversals but also fun. I liked it but didn’t love it. 

A Very Secret Service (Au Service De La France) - This a dry, witty French comedy about espionage and spies in the 1960s. Quirky and enjoyable with good character development. 

Taxi Driver (S1 & S2) - Lee Je Hoon leads this team of vigilantes who try to root out the evils of society for individuals in crisis that they were never able to do for themselves. The cases are mostly based on real life events. Violent, emotional, satisfying. I love this found family. 

Crash Course in Romance - A beloved, handsome math academy professor falls for the single mother of one of his students leading to an uproar amongst the parents. There’s a cute love triangle with the daughter and her classmates (I’m Team Geonhu) and a unsatisfying serial killer plotline. 

Gaus Electronics - This is an over the top, quirky, office comedy. It’s so crazy, especially at the beginning, that it’s almost too much but it’s smart and fun with an unlikely enemies to lovers romance that is quite sweet.

The Heavenly Idol - A high priest from another realm in the middle of a battle with the devil unexpectedly switches places with a failed idol grasping for his last chance at success. Kim Min Kyu is a great fish out of water but the story is a bit all over the place. I like his sweet healing romance with the band’s new manager though.

The King: Eternal Monarch - Parallel worlds, time travel, doppelgängers. Lee Min Ho, Kim Go Eun, Woo Do Hwan. There were some great concepts and good execution but it lacked the follow through to make it truly satisfying. 

Dr. Romantic (S1, S2, & S3) - Top 10 Kdrama. A small town hospital where a visionary maverick doctor, Master Kim, mentors 30-something year old doctors with his unorthodox methods while they fall in love with each other. It has a huge found Doldam Family with the hospital workers of all ages and their complex relationships with each other. I love this show!

Our Blooming Youth - Park Hyung Shik leads this Joeson-era mystery romance. It’s okay but it’s too slow and doesn’t develop the characters enough. It should have been 16 episodes, not 20. 

Call It Love - Introverted adults in their 30s try to overcome childhood trauma inflicted by their parents as they unwittingly fall in love while working together. This one is slower, complex and compelling. It’s one of my favorite dramas of 2023.

Please Don’t Date Him - I watched this solely for Lee Junyoung as a young firefigher who falls in love with a woman who works with A.I. in home appliances and stumbles upon a government spy program. It’s a light comedy if you’re looking for fluff. 

Find Me in Your Memory - An actress who’s lost her memory and an anchorman who can never forget fall in love. I mainly watched this because of the actors cameo as these character in Sh**ting Stars. It was okay.

Healer - I know this is a fan fave but I liked it, didn’t love it. 

Bora! Deborah (True to Love) - So much potential but a bit of a let down. I like both Yoo In Na and Yoon Hyun Min.

When the Weather is Fine - I was here for the small town romance with the local bookstore owner and the fun found family of their all ages book club. However, the last third of the story wallowed in the revealed family trauma too much and lost sight of everything else. 

Tale of the Nine-Tailed 1938 - When this was on point, it was compelling, funny and so much darn fun! There was bromance, romance, adventure, healing, friendship, and battles both personal and national. It had some slow times but overall Lee Dong Wook was clearing having the time of his life and Kim Bum stole the show as Lee Rang came into his own. 

Thirty But Seventeen - 10/10. Top 5 Kdrama. A teenage violinist gets into an accident and wakes up from her coma 13 year later to find the world vastly different. This was so much darn fun, great found family, cute romance, angst, and healing. Even when it was sad, I was so happy watching it. Shin Hye Sun, Yang Se Jong, and Ahn Hyo Seop are fantastic!

Something in the Rain -  I wanted so much to like noona romance with Son Ye Jin and Jung Hae In but man did it drag. Her mother is especially heinous. I completed it which was difficult.

See You in My 19th Life - I weirdly dislike-watched this in one weekend cause I wanted to see what all the fuss was about. It was okay. There were some interesting things about it with the relationships and past lives stuff but not for me.

King the Land - Lee Junho acted his heart out in this fluffy romcom and Im Yoona was a worthy partner in crime. I came to have a good time and they gave it to me. 

Heartbeat - Ok Taecyeon did a good job of carrying this unsteady vampire show that had some good moments but didn’t deliver on its premise. 

Legend of the Blue Sea - I really do like Lee Min Ho. He has a casual charisma that is undeniable. Jun Ji Hyun was an excellent literal fish out of water. While I liked the intertwining of the past and present lives, the story never quite hit the mark for me. Liked it, didn’t love it.

Never Have I Ever (S4) - This show never let me down. A satisfying finale season!

Meteor Garden (2018) - I needed more Dylan Wang after Love Between Fairy and Devil. This was an unexpected crazy fun ride. It was so outrageous at times. It inspired me to one day watch all the adaptations of Boys Over Flowers, as I’ve already seen 3 now. 

Hidden Love - A slow burn, age gap romance between a college girl and her older brother’s longtime friend. I really liked this but I wasn’t in love with it like everyone seems to be.

Nadiya’s Time to Eat - A fave Great British Bake Off winner’s cooking show. Inspiring.

Nadiya Bakes - And her baking show too.

Shadow and Bone (S2) - I think it improved on some things from the first season but they really crammed the second two books into one and some of Six of Crows too. Still a bit too fast-paced but I enjoyed it.

The Night Agent - An FBI agent gets an emergency call that starts a race to find a government mole and protect the informant. I binged this almost straight through. A good watch.

Queen Charlotte - This Bridgerton spinoff sheds light on royal power dynamics, mental illness, and social and racial divides.

LuLaRich - This is a compelling documentary on the rise and fall of Lularoe’s multi-level-marketing scheme. A must watch.

Sweet Magnolias (S3) - This is a comfort drama. I’m just here checking in to see how the little town is doing.

Star Trek: Picard (S3) - Showrunner Terry Matalas brings some of his 12 Monkeys (the tv series) magic to the final reuniting of the Next Generation cast while setting up a compelling potential Legacy spinoff.

My Lovely Liar - I enjoyed the romance between Hwang Minhyun and Kim So Hyun but the show itself is okay.

Destined With You - Magic, Curses, Past Lives, Symbolism, Spells, Fated Love. I thought it was going to be the next great fantasy romance but it chucked the fantasy halfway through and left a million unanswered questions at the end. At least we got a decent romance, even if the story lost its way. A big disappointment for me but I would recommend to see Rowoon acting his heart out in a cute romance.

The Uncanny Counter 2 - I was back to see the demon hunters fight for their humanity and loved ones again.

Celebrity - A solid takedown of influencer culture with mystery, intrigue, and a tiny bit of romance.

It’s Okay Not To Be Okay - I’ve been hearing about how good this drama is forever and it lived up to expectations. Great characters and development. I was surprised at how funny it was and enjoyed the romance too. Highly recommend.

True Beauty - This has been on my list for a long time and I needed more Cha Eun Woo while waiting for new episodes of A Good Day To Be A Dog. A great high school romcom with angst about a girl bullied for her acne getting a second chance at a new school who turns into a ‘goddess’ when she learns to do her own makeup. Love the romance, bromance and friendships! I love the second male lead as a character but never got second lead syndrome because I loved the main romance. I enjoyed the whole way through. 

Beckham - A docuseries about soccer (football to the rest of the world) star David Beckham that made you feel like you had front row seat to his past triumphs and struggles through the reflective lens of the present.

[tvshowspoilers]

OFMD episode 7 thoughts

Already know I want that robe Ed has! Dude it’s beautiful and I love the blue

Ed getting the breakfast ready is the cutest thing ever

I’m forever going to be crying that we didn’t see them cuddle! DAVID WHY

Also Ed’s little hum as he’s going down the stairs is precious

Aww Stede being so sweet about the twine on the tray when Ed is so nervous about it (you can hear it in his shudder breath when he says he panicked) (Taika why are you so good at making me feel emotions lol)

“you know that night that I died?” ED. BABY YES HE KNOWS

Still dying about Izzy coming in while they are in dead and his fucking smirk and AGH And Ed is just like, yep saw that coming

AND I AM NEVER GOING TO FORGET THIS LINE “ it’s good to see that it’s not just a ship that’s been good and truly….docked”

Oh yes on second viewing that clock is fucking sus….Zheng Noooo

I actually love Auntie

Also ED IS A CONFIRMED OPEN MOUTH CHEWER lol

Ed’s reaction the the letters “I love that you did that” awww…I hope he finds them! And Stede’s little self deprecating laugh, aw he needed Ed to say that

Dude you can totally tell Ed has never been skipped over…look at the little scoff he does and disbelief

I love love goofy Ed and Stede so much

Also this (Ed’s little speech about drinks tattoos and paps) is something I could totally see Taika saying to a newly famous person??

The revenge boys!!! I love it and Jackie’s little “the Swede will be happy to see ya!” Hehe

Ed’s so nervous for Stede like Stede was for Ed

So Ed’s soft look (outside) was him looking at the fish basket and thinking of a simpler life…so at this point he was already thinking about leaving and Stede and stuff? Expecially after the convo with Izzy? Cause his eyes get really sad.

I still don’t know how to process the fight with Zheng…just that I agree that he was double upset about loosing his found family

I know the little moment of Stede saying “you don’t sound that happy” hurt me cause Ed’s face is like nope and flashbacks to “what makes Ed happy is you” OOF

But, I don’t think it was a full breakup…but it was a discussion that was bound to happen at some point and I’m proud of Ed for explaining he and Stede went over the boundaries he tried to set, for realizing he wasn’t ready for this relationship yet and that he doesn’t know what he is……And that Stede was open to their relationship being “whatever” until Ed is ready

But god I’m still upset about his word choice and it’s been almost 24 hours since this episode dropped “last night was a mistake” still hurts very bad cause like I said…pipeline in Stede’s head to “I was a mistake”

I think it was an alright conversation until Ed said he was leaving (leaving Stede first so he doesn’t get hurt which is what I expected in s1 but figured would happen this season…tho not like this and this close to the season finale…yikes)

And Stede’s reaction about the fish, damn Ed was so proud of that fish…but my two cents, he wasn’t being malicious I think he was just saying one fish does not make one a fisherman

Oh but the “fishermen and pirates are nothing alike like” damn

Steak Knife is lovely

I think laughing at the guy was part drunk Stede and also him covering up the pain of his other kill…idk how to explain

Also we can still hear the ROP screams and stuff during the first part of the credits

Once again, love freaking fang and that roach made mud baths a thing

So yeah, rewatching this episode…it was alright and then got painful toward the middle and definitely second hand embarrassment worthy at the end but I thought it was a decent episode. Of course it had pacing issues but that’s MAX’s fault, not David’s

[trans-spidey]

Is it purely platonic to call me like, every night?

Summary: Mulder has a nightmare and calls Scully in the middle of the night for help.

Wordcount: 770

You can also read here!

A/N: 'sup! this is my first fic in this fandom and therefore it might not be brilliant yet but practice and all that I was rewatching s1 while writing so this may kinda have s1 vibes/be influenced by that yes the title is from a conan grey song but i just saw it on pinterest and the line reminded me of them

Her phone was ringing.

Her phone was ringing and she was going to kill him.

Scully moved her head slightly, fumbling for her phone before bringing it to her ear, “I’m going to kill you.” She hadn’t even found the motivation to open her eyes yet, but she knew she was going to kill him. A small laugh came from him on the other side of the phone, a little crackly but him all the same.

“I mean it Mulder, if this is an x-file, at—” She paused, finally cracking her eyes open to see her clock, red numbers staring her in the face, 2:47 almost burning her eyes in the inky blackness of her bedroom, “at quarter-to-three in the morning, then I’m going to kill you even more.”

“It isn’t an x-file,” He promised, pausing with a small yawn that she almost recognized from cases. It was the little suppressed yawn, where he didn’t want to reveal how tired he truly was, where he only wanted to keep talking to her about anything in particular, rather than falling asleep.

“Mulder, we have work in about five hours. Is there any way this can wait until we’re in the office?” She rubbed her eyes, letting them fall shut again after a moment. She knew he wouldn’t be talking about anything too important or work-related, or that if it was, he’d bring it up again once they were in the office.

There was a pause almost long enough where if it was any other person she’d assume they’d fallen back asleep, however this was Mulder. “Yeah, we can talk tomorrow.” Scully could hear a small smile in his voice, she could hear the odd shift in his voice.

The pause lasted longer this time, neither of them hung up, even though a sense of finality seemed to come with Mulder’s words.

“What’s going on?” Her voice stayed simple and quiet. Every night since she’d gotten home he’d found some reason to call her, some reason to show up at his apartment. She hadn’t brought it  up—neither of them had—she’d assumed it would settle and she found no need for the awkward conversation if there was no point to it.

However now it was almost 3am again, and she was so close to dozing again, lay sideways and letting her phone balance on her ear carefully so that she could remain curled up under her duvet and cozy and she needed to know what was going on with him, so that they could both finally get some rest.

“What d’ya mean?”

She knew he was likely on his couch—she didn’t think he actually even used that bed of his—and that there was a high probability that he hadn’t even changed from his work clothes.

“Mulder,” She said, almost forcing a more stern tone in her voice, hoping that further poking would get him to actually speak to her. “You know what I mean, talk to me or I’m going back to sleep.” She knew that he likely knew that was an empty threat, she didn’t care though. There was the possibility she was going to fall asleep by accident anyway on the phone to him.

Silence rang out again.

“I needed to know you were still here.” The simplicity of the statement hung heavier than anything he could’ve said and it clicked.

“I’m here.” She said, her voice returning to the more gentle tone, “I’m not going anywhere, Mulder.”

“I’m not going anywhere,” She repeated. “But I am hoping to go to sleep, however, if it’s any comfort to you, I can leave the phone on until you fall asleep. So you know I’m still here,” She suggested.

“You don’t have to Scully, I don’t mind leaving you to sleep. It was stupid and I know you’re okay—I know you’re there.�� He sounded almost defensive.

“I know, but just so you can sleep.” She argued, despite having absolutely no energy to argue and hoping that he was also tired enough that he’d simply cave. He’d been plagued with nightmares as long as he knew her—probably longer—but since her abduction he seemed to be barely sleeping—if at all. She wasn’t certain this could help, but she got the feeling this would ease his worries at least slightly.

“You sure you’ll be able to sleep too?”

“If I can’t, I will hang up on you.”

“Alright,” He laughed slightly and softly, “Goodnight, Scully.”

“Goodnight, Mulder.”

She focused on his soft breathing on the other end of the line as she peacefully drifted back to sleep.

[wolfblood-of-anubis]

Alfie Lewis Uncut Tribute Video notes:

i managed to divide his story into four parts:

1. Fear, also known as the scary stuff, the trauma, the start of his claustrophobia and all he suffers through during the seasons. it’s intentionally messy and disorienting and tbh i can barelt rewatch it bc the amount of scenes i had to cut down to half a second— now that gave me nightmares.

(my favorite part in that is when he goes "I'm part of the club now" and it flashes to him screaming or terrified. poor bud)

2. Potential, also known as showing us his smarts and his ingenuity and proving others wrong whenever they underestimate or put him down. i went back and re-edited and published a new version. the new uncut version should be up too.

3. Brave, also known as him just being brave despite his fear, it also involves audio from Doctor Who and Star Trek Picard.

4. A Companion, also known as the end scene paired with audio from doctor who's S8 E04 'Listen', it's a beautiful scene and a fantastic episode, and hearing that speech, i knew i had to record it to use for alfie's video. (and i used the doctor's speech earlier in that same episode for the end of the Brave part of the video)

because i could've ended the video with him just being brave and running and saving the day, or outsmarting some bad guy,

but i really loved the message of "it doesn't matter if there's nothing under the bed or in the dark, so long as you know it's okay to be afraid of it."

it lets alfie (and us) know that fear doesn't have to be a bad thing, like clara and the doctor said, fear is a superpower. so use it.

so the thing about Alfie’s story is that it was about him being the Bravest Sibuna. so i wanted to pair Fear and Brave together to make The Bravest.

and when i tried running Potential in the middle of it, it felt clunky, so i put it aside and made it part of the uncut version.

and finally A Companion was just extra, the audio has nothing to do with HOA, i just thought it was a fun add-on for Alfie because i loved the audio, that’s why it’s part of the uncut

well, i hope you guys liked this, up next is Patricia and other than the Joy-Patricia plot of S1 i have no idea what i’m going to do with her.

send help.

[bluedalahorse]

As my identified reference about Sara and August, I have a question for you about the end of s1.

When Sara goes to August's room to confront him, they end up kissing. Before I saw S2, I thought Sara was not really consenting, giving the way she looks away. I thought August was taking avantage of her.

Do you think she was "enjoying it" at that time, but maybe was wondering what was happening ?

Thanks for your ask! I’m happy to be your sargust expert.

And now to address your question. It’s an uncomfortable question to answer, but I’ll do my best to answer it all the same. Content note that we’re about to get into discussing consent and other difficult topics related to sexuality.

Generally my read on the situation is: yes, Sara consented. At the same time, she’s conflicted about her feelings for August in that scene, so I think what we’re seeing when she looks away is her struggling with her feelings about her desires.

While we talk a lot about the more positive depictions of sexual behavior in Young Royals, one thing that’s true about the show is that it actually depicts a range of sexual behaviors. Earlier in season 1, we have Simon nervously but happily kissing Wilhelm on movie night, but we also have Felice showing up at August’s room and initiating a hookup not out of desire but out of feelings of anger and insecurity. Felice and August both consent to the latter encounter, but both of them do so while in a negative headspace. Sara’s encounter with August in 1.6 occupies a sort of middle space between these two extremes. This is even evident by how the scene is blocked and directed. Sara showing up at August’s door reminds us of the way Felice shows up, but her first tentative kisses remind us of Simon on movie night. Sara does feel genuine desire—she’s the one who initiates the kissing, at first—but she’s also struggling with that desire and what it means for her understanding of herself, her relationship with her family, etc.

Another piece of important context for the confrontation scene is that both Sara and August are in not the best headspace. August has been grappling with the fact that he betrayed his core value of discretion released the video, and a lot of the buried resentment he feels toward Wilhelm has come to the surface. This is coming on the heels of August barely avoiding being kicked out of Hillerska after not being able to pay his boarding feels. Sara encountered her father in person on Lucia night—something caused by Simon going behind her back—and her house is now being hounded by journalists and her mom is threatening to pull her out of a school where she’s finally made friends. While neither of them is in as awful or traumatic a place as Wilhelm or Simon, for obvious reasons, I don’t imagine either of them has been sleeping well or taking care of themselves. This is likely something that’s cutting down on their usual inhibitions, and their decisions are driven partially by bad mental health/a stress response.

Regardless of the fact that Sara consents, I also think we’re meant to feel uncomfortable in that scene because we know how quickly things could go in a negative direction where Sara’s consent is disregarded. We know August’s views of women are crap. He has a lot more privilege, between the two of them, and he’s physically taller and stronger than Sara. If I recall (I’m trying not to rewatch the scene right now so I don’t accidentally rewatch Young Royals when I need to get work done) we even see him lift Sara up and put her on his desk. In a more idealized/less realistic teen drama, the directors might have tried to turn this into a ~sexy move~ via camera work, lighting, and sound mixing. But here it’s merely a demonstration of physical strength, and one that Sara’s not initially expecting. I don’t think Sara’s feeling threatened or coerced, in that moment, even if she’s surprised and even if all of this physical contact is new to her—I imagine season 2 would have played out very differently if she had felt that way—but I do think that we, as audience members, are supposed to feel the possibility of that threat, and worry for her.

(Something I also have considered in season 2 is the way that Sara is initiating a lot of the physical contact at the beginning of season 2, while also knowing August’s secret. Theoretically she could have blackmailed him into hooking up with her by threatening to go to the police with information. She doesn’t attempt to blackmail him, and August consents to physical contact with her even when he’s surprised by it. But the context in which Sara kisses August in 2.2 is supposed to bring this idea into our head, I think. Maybe. I go back and forth on what the writers want us to think there.)

Another way to think about these scenes, also, is that some sex educators recognize multiple categories of consent. For instance, Angela Chen recognizes four in her book on asexuality. Chen would probably label Sara’s consent in 1.6 as willing, but not enthusiastic. Likewise with August’s consent in 2.2.

Tl;dr consent is a complex topic and different sex educators have different paradigms about consent. Young Royals wholly acknowledges the importance of consent in sexual situations, while also acknowledging that not everyone who consents does so at perfect times, or with pure, uninterrupted feelings of love and desire in their heart. And I think being aware of that makes it easier to interpret scenes like the one above.

Hope this answers your question! There really are a lot of emotional layers to this show.

[midnighttreasureseeking]

Claudia’s Diary entries S1 EP5

Alright, this is my first Interview with the Vampire post that isnt just me reblogging someone else and adding to their post. There will be several of these posts as i have done my best to transcribe all written work shown in season one of the show. When season two starts (and season three etc.) I plan on making another series of posts about the written works shown in the series. 

This post is about the bit from Claudia’s diary seen in episode 5 of season one, just after her traumatic encounter with the vampire Bruce (Killer). A large part of this is from my reblog of @halo4life2017-blog​  as I didnt want to write down all my theories again. I’m very much looking forward to her theories about this as well as she is doing a rewatch!

So directly after the scene with Killer we are shown this page

(The left, its unimportant, reads: ...thing happend when....I had just...really get)

Its on the right hand side, its clean, and reads as such:

“November 11, 1930″

Dear Diary,

I met another vampire. His name is bruce,

but  I thought he was better suited to Killer.

We had just eaten together and started talking

about books when he really began acting strange

and made me uncomfortable. Bruce walked

back from the fire and leaned down over me

and…”

Daniel turns the page

And this reads

“November 11, 1930

Dear Diary,

I met another vampire. His name is bruce,

but  I thought he was better suited to Killer.

We had just eaten together and started talking

about books when he really began acting strange

and made me uncomfortable. Bruce walked

back from the fire and leaned down over me

and…”

The exact same!! this time on the left side page, and spattered with blood! Not only that but the passage cuts off midway through the page with that sentence unfinished and Daniel says nothing. (If this was accidental and just as far as Eric was supposed to read, therefore they didnt bother adding more, they wouldnt have put the empty space in the frame. Its just too weird not to be on purpose) He says nothing about the half cutoff sentence and nothing about the double passage either. He doesnt ask why the blood seems to be applied after the ripping out of the pages. Instead he remarks on the cutout pages and demands to know whats on them. As if she had filled four pages with a detailed account of her assault! And that was for some reason important for him to read. He says “Bruce walked back from the fire and leaned down over me and, cut out pages!” ??? no “cutoff sentence” or “empty space” as if the middle of the page is a perfectly normal place to end a page and continue on the next! He also immediately assumes that Louis ripped out the pages, which Louis neither confirms nor denies. And therefore we assume it too. But as we have discovered, never assume something of Louis, you will probably be wrong.

So what we know is: The passage was first written on the right side page, but left unfinished. Then it is written on a later page and stops at the same place the other did. then either four pages are ripped out or the new right side paragraph is written. Then someone cries over the pages, or at least little drops of blood end up on it.  If the right hand page wasnt written before the blood landed on it, then its written after.

(This is the right side paragraph as far as i could transcribe it

I’m going back to the house (..)

I’m ready for whatever lestat has to say. And I

will leave right away and take Louis with me.

Wouldn’t that be wonderfull? I am (..) excited to

see him again. And I (..) I was a handful

All those years don’t ()

I don’t know if ()

() tho…he (when) (…)

I just know he and I would have so 

much fun together. And anything (..)

depises I want to share with him to ?)

sheltered by Lestat for so long I want to 

open his eyes! We can learn about our kind together and maybe feel something.”

(This is not perfect and will be improved upon))

Three theories as to what happened;

Louis did it: This theory is assumed true by Daniel and the audience because of Louis reaction and the fact that he doesn't deny it. Louis discovered this diary and when he does he rips out four pages chronicling the assault, gets upset, and cries blood-tears all over it. This does not explain the cutoff sentence or the double passage.

Claudia did it: I think this has the most merit and is what i assumed happend the first time i watched this. But it is the most human way of looking at it. So Claudia has just experienced her encounter with Bruce. And as she always does writes it down in her diary. But she cant do it, she doesn't get very far. And just before the SA she has to stop. She takes a deep breath, turns a pages and just starts over, from the beginning. But this time, when she gets to the SA she gets too emotional, lets go of two tears and wipes them, and out of frustration (at herself for not being able to finish writing, blaming herself for what happened or anger at Bruce) she rips out two pages and leaves the book. then later, after making a plan for the future, she opens the book again and continues on the right side, on the blood spattered page. She could also have cried at this second diary writing moment. She might have cried at the memory of what happened or the thought of having to return home. Everything Daniel says “did she do it, doesn’t seem like her” etc, is an assumption about her on his part. It’s based on the emotionless monster he sees her as. Something that support this is that the blood tears are far too small to be from an adult (They actually look like they are from a small child. But i might be looking too far into it)

Louis rewrote the diary: In this theory everything is staged and done on purpose by Louis or Armand and Louis together. Maybe the original diary doesn't tell the right story, the story Louis wants to tell. So he rewrites the entire thing to fit the narrative. He plants the double paragraph, he plants the hastily ripped out pages, he purposefully ends the sentence in both entries at the same place. All this to get a reaction out of Daniel. To frame her as more human (see my “Claudia did it” theory above.) And Daniel doesn't respond the way he is supposed to, he doesn't believe in Louis humanisation of Claudia and this makes Louis angry.

Actually in all theories Louis gets angry because Daniel is being an asshole.

At last i want to talk about the ripped out pages themselves. 

This might be me looking too much into it, take everything with a grain of salt. But let’s analyse the diary without looking at the text. What has happened to it. 

The pages have been yellowed through age, to be expected. 

There are some light stains, and some crinkling of the paper that just suggest use. 

there is the bloodspatters on the paper, mostly on the lower side, who ever was crying was sitting in front of it. 

There are four pages ripped out, maybe with hands, or something sharp, a knife or scissors maybe. 

The pages are curled inwards (and not flattened as much as one would expect) and the right page is very yellow. To me it suggests it was slightly burned or something really hot got really close to it.  The yellow does not come from the light, or the other right-side-page should have the same colors. The Yellow is also too localised to be the light and too big to be the shadow coming from the torn out pages. 

That is what i could find and speculate from these diary entries!! I would love for anyone to tell me your own theories, maybe you have seen something I haven’t. In the mean time I’ll be trying to transcribe all other entries and written works that we have seen in the show!

[feuqueerfire]

April 2024 Movies/Shows Wrap-Up

A little monthly (spoilery!) wrap-up of all the shows, movies, and shorts I’ve watched or am watching in April 2024, general thoughts, and ranking of them all.

Recommendation of the month(s): idk, had a bunch of shows that I rated pretty well but they each have big caveats lol.

Ranking

The Good Bad Mother (2023) = Utsukushii Kare S2 (2023) = 10 Things I Hate About You (1999) = The Warp Effect (2023)

I Hear Your Voice (2013) = Rewatch: ? Utsukushii Kare S1 (2021) 

Jazz for Two (2024) =  Utsukushii Kare: Eternal (2023)

Some More (2018)

Watching: 23.5

I managed to watch some shows that I’d been really anticipating for quite a while and were released early last year: Utsukushii Kare S2 + movie and The Warp Effect

Average Rating: 6.5/10

MDL Updates - Added to Watchlist: 

A section because I’m curious about how many shows I decide to add to my Watch List a month and also the ratio of watching them:adding them.

Title MDL (year) - (date added to Considering or finalized to Watchlist): initial reaction

Jazz for Two - 240411: New kBL that seems fine

Love is Better the Second Time Around - 240417: i'm fond of the second chance/post-breakup romance trope, hopefully I’ll like this one

Blank - 240417: Only season 1 is out for now and apparently it ends on a cliffhanger, so idk if I should be adding it to the watchlist quite yet but I want age gap GL (w dubious morality? idk what the discourse is about tbh), so I’ll add it and hope S2 is released in May as expected and turns out well

My Beautiful Man: Eternal (2023)

Unknown: I’d been keeping an eye on it since it started releasing and it got pretty high praise all throughout. I think I can get into the we’re-not-biological-brothers-but-we-grew-up-together-as-brothers dynamic 

Deep Night: I’ve enjoyed First Piyangkul in shows before and am curious about the host club setting in this. This show is such an interesting case because on reddit and on Tumblr, everybody seems to love it and MDL has some mixed comments but mostly positive there too and yet the MDL rating is 7.5, I wonder why the discrepancy.

23.5: FINALLY

I Became the Main Role of a BL Drama - 240417: The Conversation podcast mentioned in their 2024 Winter Lagniappe and seems like it's a celeb-related show? they’re actors?

To Watch List At Start Of Month: 64

To Watch List At End Of Month: 64

Removed from To Watch List:

Title (Year) - (date removed): reason

Nothing this month

Completely Watched

The Good Bad Mother (2023)

Country: South Korea

Release Dates: Apr 26, 2023 - Jun 8, 2023

Watch Via: iQiyi (so, ;>) 

Watch Dates: Apr 1 - 3, 2024

Rating: 7/10

Overall Impression: Lee Dohyun <3 My reason for watching but the show is bigger than just him. It was so addictive and entertaining, watched the whole show in like 2 days and 2 hours. Impressed by the acting of Lee Dohyun and the mother and Mijoo's actors. The show was mostly about the mother and son relationship, with the revenge plot + the Mijoo/Kangho romance arcs in the background. I deeply wish that Kangho hadn't apparently forever loved and understood his mother and did everything for her and sang her favourite song while studying for the Bar or whatever. He went low-contact with her in Seoul even before he discovered the stuff that made him break up with Mijoo, so I think the reasons behind that and the hurt and betrayal that caused him to take such an action should have been focused on more. We got fleeting moments of him being angry or her saying she's bad but it was all explained away or he understood or whatever. Anyway, idk, I think if that relationship was more clear + the ending of the revenge arc was more solid, I would've rated it higher because I did enjoy this but some things bothered me significantly.

Also Appears In: The Good Bad Mother Live Blogging

I Hear Your Voice (2013)

Country: South Korea

Release Dates: Jun 5, 2013 - Aug 1, 2013

Watch Via: Viki (paid, so ;>)

Watch Dates: Apr 3 - 11, 2024

Rating: 6.5/10 [May 12, 2024 Update: Decreased by 0.5 stars when rerating shows I've watched in 2024: 7 -> 6.5]

Overall: Noona romance + mystery + courtroom + sliiight supernatural with mind-reading, it has a bunch of things I liked. It's from over a decade ago but enjoyable nonetheless. I liked it, though Hyeseong and Sooha were quite cute but I wish 1) the episodes were a bit more condensed to be 14-16 episodes and 2) the fucking love triangle wasn't so prominent (though I get that they probably did it because Sooha was underage at first). Not life-changing and kind of overstayed its welcome for me, esp because I was barely watching 1 ep a day in the middle there.

Also Appears In: I Hear Your Voice Live Blogging

Jazz for Two (2024)

Country: South Korea

Release Dates: Mar 26, 2024 - Mar 29, 2024

Watch Via: iQiyi (paid, so ;>)

Watch Dates: Apr 11 - 12, 2024

Rating: 6/10

Overall: Nobody in this drama asks before kissing lol not Doyoon, not Seheon, not the little kiss that Seheon's brother gave to sleeping Taejoon, and the other two, Juha and Taeyi, are experts in being creeps and having internalized homophobia that they direct outwardly to the guys they like as well (Seheon's brother fits here too lol). Yet, I enjoyed it a fair amount, the story was coherent, the acting was fine, I was endeared by Doyoon (is he the Omega X kid?), and the dynamics were enjoyable, if iffy on certain counts. Not super attached though.

tags: jazz for two

Also Appears In: Jazz For Two Live Blogging

Some More (2018)

Country: South Korea

Release Dates: Nov 7, 2018

Watch Via: Gagaoolala (paid, so ;>)

Watch Dates: Apr 13, 2024

Rating: 5/10

Overall: It was fine ig but I did skim through the latter half. 

Ah, my exams are done (for this semester or forever? who knows), so I can finally start some new shows. Dunno whether I want yaoi with Utsukishii Kare rewatch + S2 and movie or to watch The Warp Effect. They’re both early 2023 shows that I’ve been meaning to watch but it’s been so long of me anticipating them before their release + wanting to watch while releasing + meaning to binge them after release that the expectations are a little high and I keep putting off watching them oof.

And then I got a bunch of Love for Love’s Sake tiktoks on my FYP and the edits for that show are really good, so I’m tempted a bit to rewatch that because it’s on my To Rewatch list anyway but I’ve decided no.

Rewatch: Utsukushii Kare (2021)

Country: South Korea

Release Dates: Nov 18, 2021 - Dec 23, 2021

Watch Via: Viki

Watch Dates: Mar 23, Apr 17 - 18, 2024

Rating: 7?/10

Overall: Ahh, idek why I wasn't Gripped by this rewatch, like I like the characters and dynamics but it wasn't keeping my attention as much, maybe because it's a rewatch? Maybe my original rating of 6.5 was correct and I shouldn't have bumped it up to 7 but who knows, maybe I'll be reintroduced to the brainworms after watching Season 2 because I found ep 6 really engaging and was into it and S2 + movie will have new, unfamiliar stories for me.

tags: utsukushii kare

Also Appears In: Utsukushii Kare, Utsukushii Kare (S1, S2, Movie) Live Blogging

Utsukushii Kare Season 2 (2023)

Country: South Korea

Release Dates: Feb 8, 2023 - Mar 1, 2023

Watch Via: Viki

Watch Dates: Apr 18 - 19, 2024

Rating: 7/10

Overall: This season is about Hira and Kiyoi's relationship. They didn't become boring after getting together, they didn't magically end up being a perfect happy well-adjusted couple after getting together, nor were there random issues thrown just because; the struggles and hurdles are true to their characters and dynamics. I liked the themes and dynamics it explored and their character + relationship development and progression. I also smiled a lot and lost my mind a little at certain moments. Strong writing, strong characters, strong acting, what a relief.

tags: utsukushii kare

Also Appears In: Utsukushii Kare (S1, S2, Movie) Live Blogging

My Beautiful Man: Eternal (2023)

Country: South Korea

Release Dates: Apr 7, 2023

Watch Via: Viki

Watch Dates: Apr 19, 2024

Rating: 6/10

Overall: Great, fun, though not as emotionally invested as Season 2 because they're in a better place in their relationship in this movie (even if it's not necessarily Perfect). It was interesting to have new people in their lives like Anna and Noguchi and how their stories influenced them. I'm happy with where we're leaving off the characters after ~6h of show/movie but lowest rating so far because it felt like we spent too much time on stuff like Anna’s story or the random kidnapping.

tags: utsukushii kare

Also Appears In: Utsukushii Kare (S1, S2, Movie) Live Blogging

The Warp Effect (2023)

Country: Thailand

Release Dates: Dec 12, 2022 - Feb 27, 2023

Watch Via: Youtube

Watch Dates: Apr 20 - 26, 2024

Rating: 7/10

Overall: A unique and enjoyable show, it was so fun to see all these characters in their specific situations and how they deal with them. The characters were all compelling, it's wild how I was into all their storylines. how charming each character/their story was, and how the story juggled them. It also made me see a bunch of actors in new lights, New most of all, as they acted in a role outside of their usual wheelhouse. I think the most frustrating part for me was how it seemed like although they were getting at it, they never quite acknowledged that what Alex did to Jean that night was rape. It made me quite angry actually, especially how Alex's actions didn't feel like it actually took Jean's feelings and trauma and requests into account. I was at least glad that in that timeline, Jean doesn't get back with Alex. 

tags: the warp effect

Also Appears In: The Warp Effect Live Blogging

GMMTV 2024 Part 2 Showcase happened and it was very intriguing, I’m excited! 

10 Things I Hate About You (1999)

Country: USA

Release Dates: March 31, 1999

Watch Via: TV

Watch Dates: Apr 23 , 2024

Rating: 7/10

Overall: Watched it with my sister impulsively because apparently Heart Breakers is loosely inspired by Taming of the Shrew/10 Things I Hate About You and I wanted to understand all the stuff that referenced that movie. It’s a fun one, I thought Kat and whatever the guy’s name is were cute, even though I thought the resolution was much too easy. 

Change2561 Changing Project Lineup 2024 happened and oooh, it had some gems, I’m sooo excited for Goddess Bless You From Death now! 

Also last night I created a list on MDL for Upcoming shows without release dates (mostly BLs, some GLs, a non-QL here and there) and it now has 33 shows. I hope most of them are released by this year please

Currently Watching

23.5 

Country: Thailand

Release Dates: Mar 8, 2024 - May 24, 2024

Watch Via: Youtube

Watch Dates: Apr 27 - ONGOING, 2024

Rating: -/10

Overall: Started it when 8 episodes were released.

tags: 23.5 degrees

Also Appears In: 23.5 Degrees Live Blogging 

I think I'm just in more of a mood to watch intense/thriller stuff and would binge if I was watching that was more that route because I've been watching one ep of 23.5 a day and while it's fun, I'm not dying to watch the next part or next ep. The Warp Effect was kinda like that too, I was watching 1-2 eps a day for a while. Been a while since I binged stuff quickly (The Good Bad Mother in 3 days at the start of the month). Hopefully I can make sure I keep up with the rest of the episodes as they release and don’t get distracted with other shows.

Posts Created This Month:

GMMTV 2024 Part 2 Showcase

Change2561 Changing Project Lineup 2024

[ali3nboyfriend]

alright listen here’s the thing about earthspark

i watched the first batch of episodes that’s dropped and i was like “okay, this is cute, but it’s kinda mid. it’s not as bad as some of the stuff they’ve been putting out but it’s not amazing. it’s a good, middle of the road transformers show.”

i watched the second batch of eps and i said, “oh, this is pretty good! it’s really cute, and i like the terrans a lot. it’s still not my favorite but it’s charming!”

and then the last batch of s1 dropped and like

holy fucking shit, every single episode in the last drop blew it all out of the water. i’m not kidding, i’m not exaggerating. earthspark as it is right now is probably the best transformers series to come out since TFP season 2. earthspark is fucking amazing. on rewatch they’ve been setting some of the stuff they brought into the finale since episode one and the rewatch is just making me even more in awe of it

go watch earthspark, both because of the good rep and because i have not been this charmed and happy with a transformers show in years

[weirdthoughtsandideas]

Time for Big Mouth season 6 summary!

I do this every year and that’s basically the only Big Mouth post I make for the year. So let’s go!

THE SONGS IN THE SEASON WAS… BANGERS!!! And now the new song album is out!!! With all the songs from season 4-6

The fucking ”Girl we got with your mom” song will forever be stuck in my head though now

Andrew’s parents :( I feel bad for him.

Him and Bernie were so cute :,) And i’m lowkey glad we saw her clips cause… some of the stuff reminded me of stuff I’ve done… what can I say the show really reminds you of the weird shit you did when you were in middle school

Anyway I am tempted to do that list lmao

Aren’t they supposed to be 14 now? They’ve been 13 since S1-

WE STILL DON’T KNOW WHO IS THE PRINCIPAL

This season was a little like a ”middle season” where I feel like not as much happened. But I do know they’ve been picked up for S7 so this is probably intentional.

I miss Ali and Jessi’s scenes :( But I do know why they didn’t have much interaction except that ”does anyone have a tampon” scene. First is that this season focused much more on family - and also, since stuff that happens on human resources also affects Big Mouth, Jessi doesn’t have a love bug since she got fired. Maybe Human Resources will pick this up in their next season. We’ll see.

ASEXUAL CHARACTER! Also the fact that his hormone monsters are so ok with it.

CONNIE AND MAURY’S BABY I love how they just fit right in

Missy finally got her period! I was actually wondering if she had gotten it or not. Also ”it’s brown, are you sure I haven’t pooped myself?” wow that’s relateable

Very accurate representation of a yeast infection lmao… god why are female genitals like this we constantly have to look out for stuff like this all the time

Love how they’re always going crazy in the last episode of the seasons. FUCKED UP FRIDAY YEAH IT SURE WAS

Lola and Jessi’s friendship awwww

THAT ONE TIME ANDREW BUMPED INTO MISSY AND SHE WENT ”GET TF AWAY FROM ME” AND ASKED HIM TO STAY AT LEAST A 2 METER DISTANCE LMOOO

I really love how things are starting to get better for Lola :) She deserves it

And Jay :( He deserves better

I wonder if Delilah will get any monsters. Babies have some monsters too I vet (besides the need demon)

Ok so when I was 13, I had found a lot of ”transformed into a baby/forced to be a baby” stories on wattpad. I don’t know why, I found one and suddenly I had read like 20 of them. I was so weirded out by them but I also was intrigued to it. So anyway, with all the diaper jokes, people wetting and shitting themselves, Jessi switching bodies with Delilah and having to spend the time as a baby, I kinda cringed because. I had read a lot of stories and I sat there like just questioning why I ever did. This show is great to remind yourself about the weird stuff in your adolescense <3 And that’s both the charm and the con of it hahahaha

To be fair, I read far worse things on wattpad… those things were MILD to the weird shit I otherwise found on that site

Anyway! Liked the season! Didn’t feel like as much was happening, but I am still gonna rewatch it 😄 I always find new things upon rewatch

[shrinkthisviolet]

for the ask game: how do you plot your fics? :)

Ooh I love this question! Generally speaking, I don’t usually plot my fics unless they’re multichaps/part of big AUs. For oneshots, I’m more of a pantser (it’s also why multichaps are generally more intimidating to me 😅). Definitely a plantser for AUs/multichaps though: some plotting, some pantsing.

The way I plot my AUs/standalone multichaps is that I generally start with a “plotting doc” for the fic/AU in question, and I outline my idea. Generally if I’ve gotten to the writing stage, it means the fic has more to it than a vague idea, and I have a general idea of the plot (the beginning, some of the middle, possibly an endpoint)—enough to start writing. And when applicable, I generally rewatch the source material to get myself back in the headspace of whatever I’m writing.

Of course, the outline is not rigid—my Morgan AU, for instance, has gone through many changes (Barry & Morgan and Morgan & Iris being closer than initially planned, me actually writing the s1 arc instead of just referring back to it, Morgan’s powers changing from the first draft to now, etc). Sometimes I’ll even come up with a change when I rewatch an episode/movie of the source material, and I have to figure out if it’s worth changing the outline. Usually the answer is yes 😂 and if it’s no, then it’s a killed darling that lives in my outtakes doc.

talk shop tuesday!