#i’m in february of 2022 rn

[misfittq]

🫶🏻 everyone give me motivation it’s another one of those going through a person’s tt to make a scp

[milligramspoison]

Frank literally knows what he’s doing, you can’t tell me otherwise. The man posted a fortune cookie foreshadowing Foundations THREE MONTHS before Foundations dropped. February 2022 he did that and we all know Foundations dropped in May 2022.

Now he’s doing it AGAIN. He’s in LA with the rest of the band and has been for a week now. Gerard’s got a home studio. MCR is fucking doing something, they’re doing something as we fucking speak.

MCR5 girlies I’m hugging you all rn I’m so fucking excited

[nat-the-octo]

man, Splatoon 3 is basically over, huh?

Everyone is doing their Splatoon stories rn, so I guess I’ll do mine I got Splatoon 2 with some Christmas money in New Years of 2020. My only previous knowledge of the series was a vague concept of the game when the first came out and watching old Failboat videos on it like Octo Expansion and photoshopping new weapons. I wasn’t really into video games as an interest (hyper fixation) until the pandemic, where my mom got a switch lite for the family to see the new animal crossing, and me later getting my own console for my birthday later in the year. All of which is to say: I didn’t know what I was getting into with Splatoon.

I sat down minutes after midnight (probably sleep deprived) and I was thrust into this colorful, creative, and diverse world where you’re constantly encouraged to stand out, make a difference, and live by your own rules. It’s difficult to explain why this game where people living how they want get to cover mundane gray cityscapes with color and life was so instantly appealing to me, but it struck a chord that sent me hurtling down a rabbit hole that would without exaggeration, change the course of my life.

I immediately played through the story mode, then played it 8 more times to collect every weapon, got my ass beat by Octo Expansion, cried during Into the Light, 100% Octo Expansion, and was lucky enough to be just in time for the real final splatfest of Splatoon 2. (I lost) This also boosted me to be able to actually experience and understand more video games as a whole, but that’s a different topic. This all led me to February 2021, (yes that all happened in 2 months) where me and my friend skipped online school to watch the direct on a playground in my neighborhood, and saw the reveal of Splatoon 3. From here, everything begins to speed up. I found my way onto Inkipedia, consumed all possible knowledge about this tiny trailer that was available, then consumed all info and lore about the current games, including characters, old splatfests, previous metas, splatband lore, and more. THAT led me to splatoon theories, (shoutout to rassicas), which later led me to splatoon fanon with theories and ships and ocs and suddenly it’s September 2022.

Ironically the section of time with Splatoon 3 might be the part I have the least to say about, mostly because it all feels so recent even today. I watched the trailers, read the twitter posts, thought Shiver was nonbinary, played the testfire, everything. Everything post launch feels so wonderful and great and everything I wanted from the game and more. I actually felt like I was apart of a community as I debated splatfest topics with my friends and complained about my weapons being nerfed. (I still get upset about the tenta missile nerf from like. a month after launch.)

I think this part of the story will hit a lot harder in a few years, when I experience my first actual content drought instead of joining at the end of one, but for now, I can just be satisfied by my memories and experiences with the series so far. This franchise has truly changed who I am today and will be in the future. I’m a completely different gender person now because of playing the game, and now I have my own little theories and ships and ocs that I haven’t put to page and all the things that made me start in the first place, and it feels like I’m truly part of a community for once.

idk how to end this so to whoever read this far, thank you, honestly. I hope we both get to live the lives we want in the future, no matter what life throws at us.

P.S. here’s a pic of my main OC for the first time, might do more stuff with her if i feel like it

[notthemonthbutmarch]

Emilie is ruining me.

I love her design so much, she’s so pretty, her voice is adorable, she has that “cutesy with a dark side” personality I like so much in characters, but she’s a dendro burning support and I hardly EVER play dendro bc I hate how niche it is— but I have plenty of pyro dps characters that I could probably use with her. I don’t even like Kinich or Mualani that much— their designs are good and their mechanics are sick but out of the five star units I like Xilonen and Mavuika the best so what’s the point of pulling for characters I don’t really like just to have them for the new nation when a character I actually like is in 5 days?!

The only character I want from 5.0 right now is Kachina, I like her the best, and odds are she’s gonna be free, so if I spend my freemogems for Emilie I can still get Kachina. And then that makes saving for Xilonen in what could be 5.1.

I just don’t know what I want to do. I don’t want Mualani to get the “Wanderer” treatment on my account (I pulled for Wanderer bc I didn’t want to miss out on the hype but I started loving Yoimiya so I skipped Yoimiya for Wanderer and now I hardly use him bc I was disappointed I didn’t have Yoimiya).

At the same time, I never play dendro and I don’t know if Emilie’s more versatile now or if she’s still heavily locked in burning, because I hate the niche of playing with dendro. I want a team set up with like one dendro unit and a bunch of other units like what I can do with basically every other element. I’m not heavy in the meta but I also want to be able to use Emilie happily! Rn the DPS I use the most is Clorinde and Navia, and Emilie definitely won’t work with Navia or is Emilie on a spread and aggravate team good or do I need to switch back to using Arlecchino?!

I have liked Emilie ever since her drip marketing, I have always thought she was adorable— I know a lot of people wanted that lavender design and that lavender design was absolutely adorable and I wish Genshin broke out of their color palettes more often, but it still doesn’t deter me from liking Emilie’s design. She’s so unique looking, we haven’t had a character that looks like her in my opinion. It also doesn’t help that I really want to lose my fifty fifty and get Dehya too, genuinely love Dehya and have been waiting to lose my fifty fifties to her but she never comes home, it’s always fucking MONA.

At this point I’m considering just rolling until I get a 5 star like I did with Xianyun, but I know my luck in this game. I have not won a fifty fifty since 2023. And I do not mean the 4.1 rerun with Neuvillette, I mean February. It’s been over a year since I’ve won a fifty fifty. In that time I’ve pulled for eight more five stars, all of them lost fifty-fifties. The only one who was a win was Lyney during the House of the Hearth banners because of the said fifty-fifty loss on Xianyun. I have 200 and some wishes, if I go for Emilie I frankly will have nothing left— and school is starting back up. I have a full schedule, I don’t know how much time I’ll have for farming primos in Genshin. I could probably work my way back up to 180 by the time Xilonen comes around— especially since leakers are saying it’s either gonna be her or Chasca, and if it’s Chasca that’s such an easy skip meaning two patches I don’t pull in. There’s also the eventuality of Kokomi’s rerun. I would skip anyone for Kokomi on my account, and I know she’s not coming in 5.0 so that still means that if she possibly shows up in 5.1 then I can maybe grind enough primogems to get her.

Kokomi is on my priorities, but I also am not gonna sit here and miss character after character for the chance to get one copy of her. So AGAIN— Emilie.

Do I get Emilie? Do I pull until I get gold? If I lose my fifty-fifty what happens if I don’t get Dehya? I’ve also been waiting for Diluc to show up! I’ve played this game since 2022 and have not gotten a single Diluc— I only just got Jean in this year. Maybe I just pull for gold and pray it’s Emilie or Dehya so I have a guaranteed Mualani or Xilonen? I don’t hate Mualani and I probably will try to get her whenever she reruns because her gameplay looks sick as hell. I don’t know— I really, really want Emilie and I really want Xilonen and I know the reason I want Mualani is because I’ll feel like I’m missing out on the cool new mechanics but if I just wait for the character I do like them I get to enjoy those mechanics when they do arrive.

SHOULD I JUST SAY FUCK IT WE BALL AND SPEND EVERYTHING ON EMILIE???

DO I LET FATE DECIDE AND PRAY THAT DEHYA IS THE ONE THAT COMES HOME WHEN MY HUBRIS IS SMITED?!!!???!!

DO I JUST BE PATIENCE FOR THE LEPORD WOMAN AND FISH GIRLIE??

SOMEONE HELP ME.

[baryshnikov]

People I would like to get to know better

got tagged by @kerowob to do this little questionnaire. i looove talking abt myself

last song: “new millennium cyanide christ” - meshuggah. i have just been listening to my top songs of 2024 playlist on loop for the last few weeks 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️

favorite color: crimson red hex code #DC143C

last book: oh fuck. umm the last book i read cover to cover was night shift by stephen king in like february 2020. the last book i have read a piece of was the coconut children by vivian pham. i have been meaning to read this book for years and still have not done it and it’s eating me alive

last movie: everything everywhere all at once (2022)

last tv show: i think the last tv show i watched an ep from was sex and the city? carrie needs to get the fuck over big. she pisses me off bad

sweet/savory/spicy: i’m a savory man all the way. i can have sweet and spicy as accents to things but at the end of the day i need sodium to live

relationship status: @kaworusfag and i are going to celebrate our one year anniversary next month :)))

last thing i searched: “crimson red hex code”

current obsession: texas hold’em for whatever reason. i have been itching to play poker for weeks but it remains out of my reach

looking forward to: christmas day at this disneyworld resort im staying at rn. if that makes me sound cringe i dont give a fuck

favorite drink: all time? dr pepper. but the pleasures of a no-frills iced coffee with simple syrup and half and half have been enchanting me lately

song playing on a loop in your head: there’s like one snippet of “squabble up” by kendrick lamar i’ve had stuck in my head since like yesterday afternoon and i can’t get it out

current favorite character: fuck i have no clue. paul dano’s riddler maybe. or miranda from satc. luigi mangione. i don’t fucking know.

fun activity you would like to get into: i wish i knew how to play the drums. or that someone would play texas hold’em with me.

last video game: hearthstone 😔 unless you count the cribbage app i have on my phone as a video game in which case it’s that

last comic/graphic novel: i think i read “the riddler: year one” on some pirated website a couple months ago and it was pretty good!

uhhh. i’ll tag @kaworusfag @koopstar @homestyletrixie @godshottestmistake uhhhh. anyone else who wants to do it i guess.

[joe-moi]

off the top of my head, the joe & doja cat relationship saga timeline:

february 24: joe’s dad allegedly follows doja on instagram. he was apparently following her on an old account since summer 2022 so this might be insignificant.

april 24: ollo follows doja on instagram. this coincides with her coachella performance. joe & ollo were there as ollo posted a pic of (i think) her performance on his ig story. this was the same trip they took around america after the vegas event to promote aqpdo.

mid 24: doja is reportedly on raya and this fuels the breakup rumours with her ex. not fully sure when this rumour spawned. i remember seeing it around april/may 2024. the sun are claiming it was back in february but they’re not the most renowned for their journalistic integrity so i’m kinda fuzzy on that one.

june 24: joe is at a doja show in london with his friend molly and some warfare costars.

june or july 24: joe confirms in an interview that he’s met doja and they laughed off the old drama.

august 24: self explanatory.

now i say this as a big jq fan: i honestly think this has been cooking for a while. to me, this is a legit relationship or fling and they’re only using pr to launch it. how long it lasts, only time will tell.

an anon on another blog stated that doja has been quiet on social media the last year or so. her pr team are finally doing their jobs. in order for the potential breakup to be messy, joe will have to do something to reallllly piss her off, and i have to agree.

rn there’s this initial buzz because it’s new & hot & heavy but i believe it’ll eventually just fizzle out. this is jq’s first high profile relationship which is a rite of passage in celebrity culture atp and deep down us fans knew this was inevitable.

good timeline

[saveraedae]

Ok this is gonna be pretty long lmao sorry:

2020. I remember the first video I saw from your channel, it wasn’t actually the mark side but it was a South Park animatic! (For context I used to be in the sp fandom for a while from 2020-2021) The animatic was the “sincerely me” one. Other times when I would look at South Park animation meme compilations I would unknowingly see more of your sp animations…but the funniest part is that I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW THEY WERE YOURS AT FIRST LMAOOO- also I remember running into a old tms meme (it was the epoch one) and I thought it was a sp au or something.

2021: A year later, I became a little more invested in your channel and saw you were running your own indie series. So I clicked on the first episode…and it became a small fixation for me besides sp!! Though it only lasted for a short time before it went away.

2022: It wasn’t until somewhere in February of that year that I got into the mark side again and my god did I never know how long it would last and how much!!! It’s truly helped me escape from reality during the hardest year of my life yet (which was 2022)…seriously without tms there would be zero telling where I would be rn. (It also made me develop my own indie series which I haven’t announced yet)

… And now here I am. 13 years of age and wayyyy much wiser than my previous self’s!! So so sorry if this is long and personal but, I’ve been waiting to share my story for a long time! -Ash / Ashton

OMG I REALLY HATE THE EPOCH MEME I MADE I’ve been considering remaking it since I feel it does fit for TMS.

But I’m glad that TMS has had a positive impact on you. I hope that anything I release in the future won’t disappoint and that it can continue impacting you positively. c:

[blindchandelure]

In May 2021, I saw some random shitpost saying “Finland’s Eurovision act is giving the emo kids everything they want.”

Being an MCR stan at the time, I was like hm? well, I’m an emo kid. let’s see what this is about.

I was pleasantly surprised to discover that I could watch the recording of the Semifinal, legally, on Peacock. I had watched ESC once before, in 2016. But for years after that, there was no way to watch the contest in my country (at least, not without a special cable television package that I obviously didn’t have 😭). It’s never been a popular show in the United States. But.

I saw Blind Channel perform Dark Side and I immediately thought omg, they sound just like Linkin Park. I tend to think of LP as a nu-metal band, and not an emo one. But I went through a huge LP phase back in high school, so ofc I loved the song.

I demanded that my friend (who, like most Americans, had never heard of ESC up until that point) come over and watch the Grand Final with me. He went out and ordered a copy of Violent Pop the next day.

….Ironically, it took me longer to get into BC. Like. The day after ESC ended, I watched the Died Enough For You MV on YouTube, and I thought it was great. But my mind was (hyper)focused on someone else.

Måneskin won ESC 2021, and I developed an immediate special interest in them (along with a huge crush on Damiano lol). This house was in a Teatro D’Ira lockdown. I had no interest in listening to anything else but that - and Il Bello Della Vita - on repeat. I watched all the interviews and obsessively worked on a Damiano/Reader fanfic.

But then in August, something happened. My laser focus on Må began to fade. Balboa was released as a single. BC performed at Allas Sea Pool. And suddenly I was reading Niko/Joonas fics every day.

My one-track mind had switched to a different track. And there was no going back.

In October 2021, I wrote Flufftober With Blind Channel (a huge reader-insert oneshot collection). As of rn, that’s still my #1 most kudos-d fic on AO3. 😅 And then in December, I wrote my first Joeleksi fic, as part of a holiday gift exchange.

I watched Blind Channel perform on Finnish television for New Year’s Eve. And when February came, I watched them perform again at UMK 2022. I cheered for The Rasmus when they won the competition, but they never stole my heart. BC still owned it.

On March 3rd, 2022, I finally saw BC live for the first time. It was in Warrendale, Pennsylvania, on Day 1 of their tour with From Ashes To New. Their first performance on American soil.

And then on April 11th, 2022, I saw them again, at their headline show in New York City. I had the honor of meeting one of my fellow fanfic writers, pastlink! And then I met Niko and Joel after the show. 😍

It was one of the best days of my life.

Time continued to pass. ESC 2022 came and went. Kalush Orchestra were…fine. They deserved to win, but they didn’t stay on my mind after the credits rolled. Not like BC did.

LOTSAD dropped in July 2022, and it was everything I’d hoped it would be.

In October 2022, I wrote Flufftober With Blind Channel 2, this time focusing on M/M relationships.

On November 18th, 2022, I saw Måneskin live for the first time (ironic, given that I loved them first). It was at this show that I had the honor of meeting another BC writer, lnights, in person. 🖤

Then, in December 2022, I moderated my first ever fandom event - BC Blood Mass. There was some controversy in the beginning, but it ended up being a huge success. I’m still so grateful to everyone who participated.

On May 13th, 2023, the ESC Grand Finals came around again. And I finally got to do something, that I hadn’t been able to do in 2021 (or 2022): vote for Finland. 🇫🇮

On May 16th, 2023, I saw BC live for the third time, when they returned to the US and opened for Lacuna Coil. This time, I got a picture with Joel, Joonas, Olli, and Aleksi. It ended up on Joel’s Instagram story, and when I checked my notifications the next day, I got emotional.

Dozens of people from Finland and Germany and other places around the world, who I would’ve never encountered without this silly band, were saying:

Look. That’s Kelley. We know her. She’s our friend.

….And now it’s September. Goddamn. I’ve been in this fandom for two years now. I’ve written thirty-four BC fics. And I’ve made so many amazing friends. There have been many times where y’all have been kinder to me than my own family. I’m so happy to have gotten to know all of y’all.

…And there’s still more to come!!!

BC Blood Mass is coming back for December 2023. BC’s fifth album is going to drop sometime in 2024.

I can’t wait to see where this Wolfpack takes me next. 🐺🇫🇮🖤

[springonmytraptillicomeback]

Uuuhgsgshs dumping random info/headcannons abt FNAF characters while I work on their designs pt 1: William Afton

Basic info:

Name- William Vincent Afton (I do this fun thing where the characters fan-made names are their middle name)

Birth: February 21, 1948

Height: 5’11

I’m not going to go in depth in his life, maybe another day, but basically

He lived in Manchester, England as an only child. His father, Thomas, was neglectful and emotionally abusive while his mother, Maria, was much kinder. His mother ends up dying when his 14 from pneumonia, causing him and his father to basically not interact unless necessary. In 1966 he left England to live in Utah and got easily got into Dixie Technical College (I think it might’ve been changed to Utah Tech in like… 2022 but I’m not sure) due to his intelligence. He meets Henry in college, they make Fredbear’s Family Diner in 1972. William marries Clare in 1968 due to getting her pregnant at a college party (they both despise each other). Micheal’s born in 1969, Evan’s born in 1976, and Elizabeth’s born in 1979. They end up getting divorced in 1978. Clare runs off to some state to try and actually enjoy her life, leaving William as a single father to three kids.

Random shit abt his personality:

He learned to be charming at a young age to gain attention and respect from teachers and adults. He can be extremely impulsive. He ends up becoming a bit childish in his adult life due to not really ever being able to be a kid, but mostly tries to just play it into his fun and over the top entertainer role. Despite usually being outgoing and talkative, he isn’t the biggest fan of having to interact with people, entertaining them is fun but actually talking to them is just draining. He can be extremely high energy at times, when he’s not sleep deprived, of course. Obsessive, paranoid, jealous easily, normal William Afton stuff

Just, generally random shit:

he’s autistic (just like me fr fr). I like to think he’s weirdly flexible and fast, mostly because I want him to be Henry’s opposite; while Henry is big, strong, gruff, and scary in the “wow he could beat me up easily” way, William is lean, quick, nimble, and scary in a “wow he could easily sneak up on me and stab me” way. He has a chewing habit, he’ll chew on just about anything he’s holding, which is the biggest reason he and Henry have separate tools. This also leads to his lip biting habit; his lips aren’t dry, just scabbed. Henry was the first person to like… actually give him love, that wasn’t just “aw cute charming child”. William was (and is) extremely gay for Henry, and it took him a couple minutes for him to come to terms with that once he actually realized it. Definitely not cis, probably on the genderqueer spectrum, but he has no idea until like… Vanny tells him about trans people and he’s like “holy shit”. Obsessed with rabbits, probably could name every breed, and information of each one.

Auauusgsh that’s it

if u wanna ask shit or something abt him/anything u can, I’m bored rn

[fallynleaf]

i was going to post my 2023 resolutions in december, but totally ran out of time lol so here they are now:

keep doing TJPW translations as long as there is a need for them

get better at Japanese and become faster at translating

get better at Spanish

read at least a dozen books

get back into giffing!!

keep up a list of fave wrestling matches/shows/moments etc.

finish an old fic for international fanworks day (feb 15)

finish two fics for femslash february

reply to fic comments

get some sort of original short story or essay published

edit last year’s nanowrimo

write the sequel to it

finish knitting temperature scarf

get a Japanese papermaking setup going

get a basic bookbinding/boxmaking setup going

do a drawing challenge in october

fix my tumblr theme

finish cleaning/organizing my room

i’m not really much of a new year’s resolutions type of person generally, but i wanted to refocus a bit this year, since my life kinda pivoted pretty hard away from where i thought it was going to go in 2022...

the most important things are continuing with studying Japanese (and with doing the TJPW translations, now that i have hundreds of people relying on me lol), and hopefully trying to move back to doing more writing. i’m hoping to reach an upper intermediate level in Japanese by the end of the year. i have a lot more specific Japanese goals that i won’t go into lol because the list is too long and probably largely incomprehensible, but that’s more or less what it boils down to.

last year, translating was too difficult and stressful to be truly enjoyable (not to mention doing it while extremely depressed lol), but i stuck to it long enough, i think i’ve started to make it to the other side. i kept telling myself that the beginner phase is the hardest lol and as long as i forced myself to keep going, it would get easier. and it did!

it’s looking like 2023 is going to be the year of, like, actually reaping the rewards from all of my hard work. not only am i getting lots of wrestling story stuff i’ve been wanting for years, now with an actual bilingual bonus understanding, haha, but i’m also starting to reach a point where manga and books are much more doable. so that’s my carrot on a stick rn.

shame i’ll probably never have an actual career as a librarian, but, well, that was always supposed to be a means to an end for me.

[jeonqkooks]

profile tag game!

thank you for the tag lilo @still-with-koo <33

name: jen

sign: gemini

height: 5’1 (i know, i look like a troll standing next to literally anyone)

time: 11:23pm

birthday: june 7

fav bands/artists: bts, taylor swift, harry styles, waterparks, lorde, vancejoy, bad suns, the maine, catfish and the bottlemen, coldplay, all time low, conan gray, chelsea cutler, maisie peters, etc.

last movie: smile (i don't watch a lot of movies 😭)

last show: she hulk (binged all of it today 😭)

when I created this blog: february 2022 (so close to our one year here <3)

what I post: fics mostly. i also torture y'all from time to time with my shitposts

other blogs? too many 😭 @jeonqkooks-main (main), @jenrecs (fic recs), @everkook (where i post my gifs and only reblog visual content), @itaeewon (requests & commissions)

do I get asks? yes and i appreciate every single of them <3

followers: getting kinda close to our next milestone <3

average hours of sleep: lately like 7-8 hours

instruments: miss girl here does not play anything sadly 😔

what I’m wearing: a t-shirt and pj bottoms

dream trip: rn my top travel destinations are copenhagen, seoul, anywhere in spain, cinque terre <3

favourite songs: (currently these ones!) monsoon - hippo campus; tis the damn season - taylor swift; no.2 - rm; moon - renee rapp; lion heart - snsd; angels like you - miley cyrus

tagging (no pressure ofc!) @indgio @daechwitatamic @yoongiphoria @junsai-tree @jimilter @mercurygguk and anyone else who wants to do it! <3

[larcenywrites]

How are you feeling?? Are you okay?? You write so much for us every day, but we don't even ask how you... I hope all is well!

Aw tysm for the thoughts 🥹🥹❤️❤️ Honestly? Yeah, it’s pretty great! Back when I started this (June 2022 was it? I know it hasn’t been very long) I was already in a kinda not good place and writing kinda helped until a lot of stuff went downhill. And I wanted to write for this blog! I did! But I was really struggling and nearly every day I stared at all those unfinished works that had been promised months ago and felt shittier every time I had a page open for a whole day and wrote nothing, and figured no one probably cared anymore anyway but that was fine I guessed! And so I pushed stuff out when I randomly got a burst of energy, only to fall back into my slump days later even with the support a lot of my stuff got and still gets! Fast forward to, what, mid February this year? Also not long ago, after I worked on some things with some very good friends, and I found my love for writing again and for creating and for loving this character that I’ve loved literally my whole life! (Well almost, I was 8 when iron man 1 released lmao) and I didn’t want to lose that again!! And somehow I went from posting like once or twice every two weeks and then disappearing to posting like- every day- because I WANT to! In fact, it’s so hard because I so badly want to neglect my homework and studying to do this! To create and to indulge you guys and to create a world here 😭🤧❤️🥹

Sometimes it’s still hard because- well, like tonight, I promised myself when I get home I’m gonna write at least 600 more words for that one shot request I still haven’t pushed out! Aaaand then I got sidetracked with you guys because I genuinely love interacting with people who are just as insane as me?? That and I had to redo the Masterlist because links got fucked today and like right now I feel so bad that it’s not out and it’s been like probably almost a full two weeks since I got it :( and I have god idk how many hcs requests rn xD and I know I don’t have to, but sometimes I feel obligated to get things out ASAP or it’s something I super want to write about even though I’m already behind on this weeks IT homework! I still haven’t found a balance, and I’m a little anxious between it all sometimes, but honestly I’d say that getting back into this has pulled me out of my giant slump where I had no hobbies, or cares, or any kind of happy thoughts!

Sorry for the long rant, but genuinely like- your support and eagerness (as stressful as it can be at times 😂) has gotten me back into a hobby I forgot I loved so much! And I get to share it and build it with other people which much younger me always wanted to do and never figured I would because I was so shy and anxious! So yes, I’ve been doing great and in fact need to learn to chill out a little and allow myself to have some personal room from time to time 😂❤️

And I hope you guys like this series I’m planning out because I’m so excited to write it :D but I want to get out that request first and finish at least a few more hcs that have been sitting around before I do. Honestly even if you guys don’t like it, just like how some of my stuff I was so eager to write doesn’t get as much attention as others, I’ve started to learn how to just love what I do anyway and putting it out into the world means that I just put something loved and authentic out that someone in the future might appreciate! At least I did! And it helped me feel better for another day ❤️

[sxtaep]

19 is a child 😭😭 the fact that your page says 18+ when you were lurking on 18+ pages before you even turned 18😭😭😭😭

you know what, i’m not even gonna deny this 😭

YEARS AND YEARS before this account, i had another tumblr acc and a wattpad account i used to read fics on (and as wrong as it is) it’s one of those things you just can’t not do 😭😭😭😭

i know every damn person here was reading dolan twins fics , 1D fics, draco malfoy fics and magcon boys content at age 12 😭 (bye i’m having the biggest wave of nostalgia rn)

besides, i deactivate that tumblr like 5 years ago (after growing out of my embarrassing phases) and came back february of 2022 for reading and writing, which set off very well might i say 👀

[enneamage]

I think a lot of this feeling people are getting of uncertainty when it comes to tommy comes from how he views content like everyone is down on numbers rn people are moving on in general and so in response ccs also just moved on like tubbo picked something else he enjoyed and just started on that and hoped his audience came along for the ride on the other hand tommy has always been about figuring out why he gets the numbers he does, what people seem to react to so he throwing ideas at the wall and seeing what interests him and what people respond to that's also why he loves collabs so while it seems a bit all over the place I think this is just what tommy's next step plans look like

There’s method in his testing things out, one of the things he’s talked about before was how 2022 was a tester year for him and how he wants to use that feedback (and self-knowledge) moving forward. He’s doing science on the scene and himself to find what works, and now I’m curious what he’s going to do with that and his current determination. We’re going to be having January in February by the looks of it, but the project is coming.

I get the sense that there’s a lot of churn right now, audience and fandom members coming and going, CCs changing direction and trying to find a new wave, just a lot of restlessness. Compound that on top of the moral fractures that have been going on lately and you have a recipe for people feeling like SOMETHINGS gotta happen SOMEWHERE or else SOMETHINGS gonna happen-- it's both urgent and aimless, there’s nothing solid enough lately to direct the energy at but there’s a big desire for catharsis going around.

I've seen a lot of people take on the attitude of wanting to collab with more people in 2023, so even though he's vocal about it he’s not the only person looking to branch out. I remember a Niki stream a while ago where she talked about how the world opening up again post lockdown was a shockingly lonely time because people didn’t have to be online to be with other people anymore, so people wound up alone or isolated. I think people are trying to engineer an IRL bounce back from that drifting right now.

[riddlesrhymes]

Don’t worry, you aren’t making your responses too long! I talk a lot too so that’s super fair. I can’t listen to any recommendations you give at the moment though, I’m doing a marathon where I listen to an album a day. Right now, I’m on The Dreaming by Kate Bush!

Okay anywho, the only prog rock group I’m interested in (that’s not ELO) is King Crimson. I plan on listening to an album from them soon, I’ll tell you about it when I get the chance. Also, oooo?? I barely know anything about Oingo Boingo, but they seem slightly interesting to me. I am also listening to an album by them soon.

My favorite new wave group is one I already mentioned (the B-52s). They’re very neurodivergent coded and they sort of pulled me in because of it. My recommendations for albums by them are Whammy!, Good Stuff, and Bouncing Off The Satellites. The first and third ones are more synthpop sounding, while the other one is more alt rock-y in a way.

I’m trying to not run this off for too long, so I’ll end it off here.

- 🏳️‍🌈

ooh i also used to do album marathons! Rn im not doing anything because im having a lot of exams, but i want to listen to 13 more albums so by the end of the year i would have listened (idealy) to 215 albums in 2024! Last summer I used to listen to like 3 albums a day lol, seeing it now in retrospective it was a bit too much... The total by the end of the summer was of like 110 (70 in january and 40 in february i think, something around those numbers ), in two months only... One of those days I listened all 3 albums from kate bush, including the dreaming, i really liked them! Shes really good and her vocals are astonishing.

If youre intrested in King Crimson, id recommend you Discipline! Its really new wave not joking, ive seen people comparing the vocals and music on the album w david byrnes style lol. Tho if you havent listened to anything by them yet, start ofc from In the Court of the Crimson King.

Yeah oingo boingo is kinda unserious silly tbh, you got that Little Girls song and some others lol tbh i really like them but idk why i never really listen to them much or have the desire to do so

I used to listen to some b-52s back in 2021! only singles tho. I liked them but never got around to listen to a full album, i guess its bc i didnt really listened to full albums back then, my music obssesion started more on summer of 2022 lol

[1d1195]

Never say sorry for expressing your feelings bestie! I completely understand where you’re coming from especially from this feeling of being “behind” on life! There are so many internal and external factors that contribute to this feeling! On paper and maybe to everyone else you’re have a nice life but they aren’t the ones living it. I think that there’s pressure to hit certain milestones at certain ages or feel specific things at a certain point in our lives but honestly we all have different goals in life! As well as just living completely different lives that at various paces!

Like tbh with you I thought I would be happier in life rn when I think about myself a few years ago! And it’s very hard for me to grasp that but that’s bc I have this “idea” of what my happiness SHOULD like instead of finding or doing things that genuinely bring me joy! So I know it can be hard to stop comparing yourself because I do the same thing too especially when I’m spiraling! You’re not alone in this and there’s no shame in expressing these feelings EVER!!!

I love you Sam!-💜

Omg I spent so much of my 20s unhappy. I didn't even KNOW I was unhappy. But I just woke up one day in February of 2022 and was like "this ain't it." I'm definitely happier now than I ever been. Realistically, I think I was unbelievably happy from 14-20ish/21 it was like I was a zombie just trying to get through the day. (I don't count covid because no one could have predicted that).

Honestly, the probably is I'm extremely jealous of everyone around me getting houses and having kids. I've mentioned it before but I've ALWAYS wanted to be a mom (like I wanted to start having kids when I was 23 fresh out of college--what an idiot) but I grew up on the poorer side of the aisle and I FELT it as a child. I have a lot of financial anxiety as an adult and I refuse to do that to a kid. My parents did what they could--it wasn't their fault. There's a lot of intricacies/happenstances to it and I know I won't be perfect either but I'm not starting on the wrong foot. So I want to feel financially stable before I have a kid and it's just like EVERYTHING I do is wrong. Can't catch a break kind of thing. Idk. It's probs my own fault for being passionate about being a teacher 😂 I'd make a lot more $ elsewhere. But the point of saying all this is that I feel so behind because if I don't have a kid soon my parents flat out aren't going to get to know them. And I feel like I'm reaching a point where if I don't foresee myself having kids in the future I really don't know what my purpose would be 🤷‍♀️

ANYWAY sorry for ranting that was a bit heavy it's a big deal to me and I've been thinking about it a lot more and more. Especially because family gatherings are all about marriage and babies now and it's SO much pressure. It's all my coworkers talk about. It's just exhausting. It's like I don't have a choice but to think about it. But regardless, I really am happy. There's a lot I haven't gotten a chance to do that would be harder to do if I did have a kid and I look forward to those things. The world is just really hard right now.

I know it doesn't sound it but I am really TRULY happy these days (with the exception of hormonal issues once a month) but jealousy for a life I don't have is VERY real and very frustrating.

Sorry to put this all on you, please don't feel like you have to respond to it I know you've got your own stuff and you are young and have many years of fun and excitement to look forward to! Even though I said I was unhappy for some of it I think college was some of the BEST years of my life, truly. I felt at HOME there--I didn't want to leave and I'm a HOMEBODY so for me to want to stay away from my mom was a REALLY big deal. I miss it a lot and it was tough but I would time travel right back to 2014 and do it again--maybe even exactly the same way too. So if you're not feeling happy right now (or as happy as you feel you should be) you're totally going to and your own advice is very wise. It's not linear and it's going to be different for everyone 💕

I'm just a sometimes-grumpy 28 year old hahahahah

I LOVE YOU!!!

xoxo