queerna

[queerna]

22/08/23

[ 06 : 48 PM ]

— UNI UPDATE:

Accoms is confirmed and I will move in the basics 25th of September !!! I have a place in course to start 26th of September. Still waiting for my partner to move out 🍀. Student loans is ready and looking into getting a part time job whilst at uni. My maintenance loan or living loan leaves me with £20 per week 😭 I also got Distinction Merit for my two year course 😁🤭

[queerna]

10/08/23

| 01 : 57 PM |

— watching utube. had breakfast {= just thinking about uni and my room and shit ^_^

[queerna]

Up ( 2 0 0 9 ) Dir. Pete Docter

[queerna]

09-08-23

| 12 : 19 PM |

— watching utube. i gotta do hella chores. mum comes home today :)) she got me package?? fun fun i’m so excited about my accommodation - making breakfast now. and watching Roly they are so funny 💀

list 1 - uni stuff

Wait for student finance letter

Wait for results 17/18th Aug

To get college/university bursaries get student finance letter + finance docs and give to college/university.

Accommodations is £9,027

Course is £7,750

list 2 - chores

clean oven top

hoover

my clothes up and mums clothes in her room

empty mums bin

clean bathroom bit more

finish cleaning in the kitchen

— WISH ME LUCK —

| 08 : 24 PM |

— watching markiplier ^_^ drank some alcohol to chill down bc i cba for my family to come back lol. done the chores :-)) had dinner it was goodddd i rlly wanna start uni stuff lol moving out and getting shit gone yk. packing lmao i’m tired .

[queerna]

me as an aquarius

Rachel: sorry i can't be emotionally vulnerable with you it would ruin the mystery

[queerna]

– Nasir Kasmi

[queerna]

08-08-23

| 10 : 54 AM |

— on the bus to my viewing :D super early but we move lolol like 1h 30m to wait 😾 listening to Disco by Surf Curse 👍 i got up alright had some toast my outfit today is a mix but i think it’ll add to the androgynous mood :P

| 11 : 20 AM |

— Ordered some food from shop waiting for my cheese toasty now ^_^ in the same spot that me and my gf had a date here a while ago February 26th 2022 :) wish she was here xx just realised it’s the same day i took the photos that’s in my phone case 😭💕💕.

— me hungry 🦧🦧🦧

| 05 : 17 PM |

— back home i got everything i needed ^_^ the viewing accommodations went goooooddd. super excited. had to do a lot of confusing shit alone which is annoying but we move xoxo

— gonna make tea and chill til i gotta make dinnerrrrr.

| 11 : 48 PM | rant incoming

— so had dinner spent time with my gf. but my brother who is super annoying and a pain IN THE ASS I MEAN MUM IS HIS ASSISTANT like me and my girlfriend shouldn’t have to deal with his shit and have to look after him. like we are treated like babysitters and cleaners it’s fucking irritating.

— it wouldn’t be so bad but he’s spoilt, loud, obnoxious, a windup merchant  and needs assistance with everything. i want to start uni now and i want to be in LDR so i don’t have to deal with him😾😾😾😾

— typical she told us late like no warning she comes home in 24 hours and she asked about my accommodation viewing like 10 hrs late yk. she just cares soooo much. explaining that my mum is abroad and i’m here still is such depressing thing to admit like ;-; yes i am alone yes she doesn’t care enough to take me with her. ;-; i want out of this house so bad

— people ask oh you enjoying your mum being gone? how do i humbly say fuck yes i hate being her maid equal 24/7 :D without it being hard truth. like 😀 yes i am enjoying my freedom and happiness 😀 fuck my life.

i’m tried i need sleep but i cba rn. i can’t rant to my gf bc she’s asleep poor girl woke up at 2am and has gone bed at 10pm which that’s good yk.

— NINE DAYS TIL RESULTS DAY —

… that makes me want to puke cry shit and punch someone xox still can’t decide if i wanna go to college to get my results. bus fare is money. that’s it i’ll probs need lunch etc. that costs. when will my motherfucking money come in from trust fund. i’ll call them AGAIN tomorrow 😾

— i gotta remain positive. today is a good day to manifest i don’t wanna mess with the vibes 🫢🩷

[queerna]

In Darkness and in Solitude

[queerna]

it’s me fr fr 💕💕🤧

““If you’ve been brutally broken but still have the courage to be gentle, then you’re a badass with the heart of an angel.” - Keanu Reeves”

—

[queerna]

07-08-23

| 04 : 43 PM |

— i’m not feeling good today started my period >_< felt sick and gross all day. i had toast and chocolate spread for breakfast. feed the cats, rabbits and guinea pigs. had a bath now i’m in my girlfriends big fluffy dressing gown and full of oreo’s and juice had some pain killers watching utube 💕😭 hoping i feel better tomorrow =[ i wish i could sleep idk

— i’m feeling super low. i like being able to clean and feeling motivated to get shit done yk. i have chicken to cook for dinner :( imma be sad when my gf has to sleep her schedule is 12pm sleeping til 12am :-((((

| 08 : 23 PM |

— had some dinner been surprisingly productive today cleaned the kitchen. feed my pets gf went bed at 6pm just cleaned up after dinner just playing my pet cat stanley in my backyard with a cup of tea listening to music on my phone ^_^ gotta get up at 9am tomorrow to see accommodation viewing X3 i want another cup of tea lol before dinner like 20 mins before i downed some oreos for sad in pain avatar lolol gonna play minecraft when i make my last cuppa ^~^ 💕💕💕💕

| 12 : 08 AM |

— AAAAA i have to go bed but played minecraft it was funnnn 🥰🥰 here’s some pixxx. i played with my friend juciepeep (my bestie) and the first pic is my minecraft dog called fenrir (pronounce Fen-Rear) in front a cute banner i made and on a cute orange rug. juicepeep made me jump and laugh in real life so i thank them🥰🥰🥰 also i than ozzie bc he gave me stupid amounts of iron 🤧🤧

— the girlfriend is still asleep i predict she’ll sleep til 6am but she think she’s wake up at 2am because i have to sleep i’ll give her a kiss on the head and go bed 😾��💕💕💕

— also last picture is some more banners i made TOOK ME TOO LONG LMAO and they look cute and it’s to hide the dispensers bc they look ugly in my pink aesthetic tehehe i love the plastic texture pack 🥰💕🥰💕🥰

— OKOK BED NOW NIGHT 🤧😴

[ the gif is me in the bath accurate depiction *my gf is the one showering me* angry in general not at my gf ]

[queerna]

In Darkness and in Solitude

[queerna]

06-08-23

| 11 : 53 AM |

—carried heavy shopping yesterday and now my shoulder hurt :( just woke up gonna have some tea and breakfast. low-key still fill from dinner last night lol idk

| 02 : 27 PM |

— watching utube, with my cat Lincoln. i have no one to go my local gay pride in September T_T my gf will me in another city and the same for my bestie (but different city) 😾 just missing everyone i love ngl i excited to be making friends in university but damn.

— old picture of my gf (left), me (middle) and my bestie (right).

| 07 : 55 PM |

— Just had noodle dinner ^_^ very full and happy i love food lol. watching some old minecraft utubers. Hopefully gonna play minecraft with my bestie today. I’ll be sad if he cancels ngl 😾💕. Imma play minecraft in a bit probs play survival games or sky wars - just thinking about my university plans like I’ll be able to wear things my family would judge usually because i’ll be living alone for the first time.

— At 03 : 00 PM i got to lay with my girlfriend whilst she slept. She’s the cutest. I’m nervous but i don’t know why. I miss my girlfriend. I wish she wasn’t an insomniac :( she deserves the world and not the shit world a good world. Dad told me to not sleep with a full stomach / when you’ve just eaten. Can’t remember why but I’ll take his word for it I only mention bc food makes me hella sleepy like an old man 😾 Nervous about mum coming home. I’m struggling to keep up with house chores. I’ll talk to the girlf maybe she can help with a couple things.

— I let the rabbits out in the garden. They’ve not been out in a while so hoping they enjoy it and I’m hoping it didn’t rain lol. For August and “summer” it’s been super rainy this week :/ I’m just looking forward to Autumn, Uni, my two year anniversary with the gf and Christmas. Hoping I can spend it with my girlfriends family too :D 💕💕💕💕

[queerna]

uni update —

had to get a cheaper room at same uni accommodation. i had a budget prediction of 10,000 pounds for “maintenance” which is housing (and etc) the old room i chose would have taken me out of budget the new room i chose same vibe i don’t know what the MAIN differences are but it’s 177 per week instead of 204 which is in budget and gives me 629 extra pounds leftover =D

need to call viewing people to ask about viewing a different room ^.^

[queerna]

had a good day today. had a shower, ha; a cuppa tea and currently watching stampylongnose — been watching his stuff recently — before bed. going out tomorrow for milk and sugar (:

this is my cat lincoln being extra cuddly today ^_^ he’s the cat that will murder you for too much cuddles so i was trying to enjoy it and not get anxious lmao (💕~💕)

[with the pic remember i use they/them pronouns]

random pic so i can ramble ~_~

so ready for A-Level Results day >_> nervous and shit but i wanna know. >_< 😾😾😾 💢 debating if i go into college for my results or not. gotta call them to ask times and shit so i can get the proper college experience >_<_<_<_>_>__<<_>< yk open letter like 🫣✉️📄😦 and 🥳 or 😱😓.

ok ok imma go now ^_^ night night

[queerna]

[queerna]

rant // cw : university, anxiety, nerves and money / loans.

— learnt new things about university and some future plans i have. learning how i’ll pay for it, how much it will cost, learning to take a leap for myself by myself. i have three different tabs open. student finance, accommodation, and my university application. all i’ve looked into and right now…

— my mum is away in france whilst i’m in the uk still. hoping she will finish the legal and money type stuff that i don’t know about because it’s household income etc. i’m hoping she does it soon >_< trying not to rush her you know? god i’m tired. i woke up at 8am i think instead of midday i went to bed at 3am maybe half three T_T bin men, bright sun and loud cats woke me up sadly.. it’s annoying because i feel like i haven’t slept when i have. i just need a nap lmao

— changes to my schedule and my processes is hard because i had a line in my head of how things were going to go. and now it’s different. change you know. i think it’s the autism. i need to book a doctors appointment about autism, ocd maybe adhd. but my new accommodation is nice modern but pricey (i don’t care). i have planned to go to a viewing to see the room i want. ^_^ i’m excited for that hella >_< hoping i can book it and make it official on the day off i have a checklist to do before SEPTEMBER (!!!! AAAAAA THATS SOON !!!) and by checking off something small like the room booking makes everything else that’s hard seem easier to do. like one less BIG NERVE WRACKING thing you know.

Checklist:

• Book Accommodation (£10,404)

• Complete Student Finance (Leaving mum to finish that.)

• The Course (Get in and Pay £7,750)

— FYI: College results come out Aug 17 🍀

(In that order.)

Final Note:

— currently watching heartstopper season 2. had breakfast, i need warmth and hugs lol.

[queerna]

been playing minecraft recently. i low-key need a creative plot server to play on >_<