#i’m having a good hair day & i’m wearing mascara

[mxgyver]

starting to feel more and more like myself again 🫶💙

[zkaus]

At the back of my copy of The Vampire Armand, there's an old interview with Anne Rice talking about creating that novel. I've never forgotten her answer to one of the questions... It haunted me for years.

It gives incredible insight into how and why she wrote such beautiful, brutal and broken characters, and what she endured in the creation process.

BUT before you read this, I'm going to STRONGLY warn you, it goes to very very DARK places

Q: What are your work habits for a novel?

A: Once I truly begin to write, I work obsessively, in twelve-hour days, punctuated by days of long sleep and vivid dreaming. Starting time and ending time are no longer important. I might begin at 9 A.M., or after noon or at eight in the evening. I go from there. I turn on the computer and write, write, write.

My room is a mess. Notes are scribbled on the walls so that I can look up at them at the appropriate moments and insert the date, the name, whatever, when I need it. Books are stacked so high that people have to search for me when they come into the room. Opened books with marked-up pages are stacked on top of one another.

I become suicidal. I go through a horrid despair some time or other before the final page, during which everything seems meaningless—from the dawn of history to the very hour in which I am writing.

I’m intolerable to live with. But I spread myself thin over a number of loved ones and staff members so that no one person has to put up with how intense, hysterical, and miserable I am.

When I get elated and talk fast and furiously about wonderful aspects of history or the characters, or good developments in the story, people run away from me. I don’t blame them.

While the novel is being written, I try to avoid dressing for outdoors. No one can make you go out if you don’t have shoes on. Not even in the south. I wear long velvet robes and soft velvet slippers. I refuse to go out. All food is brought in. I eat hamburgers because they are easy to hold with one hand while reading and holding the book with the other hand.

In the middle of the night I read, sometimes on the carpeted floor of the bathroom, just because it’s warm. I am wretched. I don’t care anymore about being abnormal. Writing is everything. Everything. It seems impossible to write the book. It seems impossible to lift a hairbrush to brush my hair. But I do it. I put on mascara every day that I write.

This period of intense work lasts about six weeks. It’s best that way. My imagination is overheated, and my memory clogged with data of varying importance. If I go over six weeks, I begin to forget things; I feel the loss of intensity and information and I become all the more self-destructive and obsessed.

The end of the book is a big event for me. A big event. I start screaming. I put the hour and the date at the end of the last page. I expect everybody to understand, at least a little. It’s a triumph! The darkness of destiny has been driven back for a brief while. I celebrate. I scream, eat chocolate, and sleep.

Right near the end of writing The Vampire Armand, I realized I had to return to Italy, especially to Florence, and at once I began to make preparations for the trip. As soon as the novel was finished and off to the publisher’s, as soon as it could be accomplished, I flew to Italy. That gave me hope, a way out of a life threatening darkness that often follows the climax of a book. But I still ate chocolate and screamed.

While writing, I don’t want to rest. I don’t want to sleep. Why sleep? It seems stupid, except when weariness overcomes me like a giant cloud of poisonous vapor. Then I sleep fifteen to twenty hours. I tell people to go in and out of the bedroom and ignore me lying there, as if I were dead. I won’t talk on the phone. I won’t open my eyes if I don’t have to. I dream terrible, upsetting dreams.

I want to kill myself. But I can’t. I can’t do it to other people, and I have work that must be done, novels that must be written. So I don’t kill myself. Besides, I don’t think it’s good to kill oneself. It’s a horrible idea. It has a horrible effect even on acquaintances.

I think a lot about people I loved who are dead. I think of how dead they are, year after year, ever more dead.

[lupinqs]

PROLOGUE ━━ Beginning of the End

☆ ━ pairing: hopkins!paige x oc (dani callan)

☆ ━ word count: 3.8K

☆ ━ warnings: small mention of homophobia, underage drinking, think that’s all idrk

☆ ━ links: my masterlist, take me to church masterlist

☆ ━ author’s note: hi!!!!! this is the prologue to my new hopkins p fic and i’m so excited cause it’s taken me so fucking long to actually get this whole fic cooked up but now it’s here and the chapters shouldn’t take too long to come out. anyways you could lowkey probably read this as a one-shot but i have so much more planned for paige and dani so if you wanna keep reading, just be prepared for lots of angst 😊

DANI CALLAN sits at the desk, curling the last remaining pieces of her hair, her irritation simmering just beneath the surface. It’s late May, and the warmth of the Minnesota summer is just beginning to set in, but the night air outside does little to soothe the sheer annoyance that has gripped the girl all day. Tonight is the last night she has with Paige before her best friend is whisked away for the summer due to her thousands of basketball obligations. And guess where they’re going?

A party.

A party. Dani fights the urge to scoff at the thought, jaw clenching.

Paige is excited, though. She’s been excited ever since her basketball buddy told her about it earlier this week, buzzing with energy. “It’ll be fun,” she said, her blue eyes shining with that infectious enthusiasm that makes Dani melt every time. “One last hurrah before I’m off to camps and Thailand and everything else.”

Dani tried to muster some enthusiasm, tried to match Paige’s smile, but she could feel her own fading before it ever really took hold. Because she doesn’t want to go to a party tonight. She doesn’t want to waste the precious few hours she and Paige have left together surrounded by a bunch of people they hardly know, shouting over music, drinking cheap alcohol, pretending to have a good time. Dani wants to be alone with Paige, have her best friend all to herself. She wants to talk. To laugh. To maybe, just maybe, get the courage to tell her what’s been weighing her shoulders down for months now.

But instead, they’re going to a party.

Dani sighs, turning the curling iron off as she catches her reflection in the mirror. Her hair falls in long, loose waves down her back, light makeup coating her face. She wears a simple tank top and jeans—nothing special. She doesn’t feel special tonight. She feels like she’s being cheated out of something, and she can’t even put her finger on what it is.

“Dani! You ready?”

Paige’s voice rings out from the hallway as she opens the door to her bedroom. Dani grabs her phone and looks up and over at Paige, who stands in the doorway with a radiant smile on her face. She’s dressed in all black—black leggings and a black long sleeve—with her favorite pair of lavender dunks on her feet. Her blonde hair’s been done up in its usual ponytail, and she’s got a little bit of mascara coating her lashes. She looks effortlessly beautiful, like she always does, and for a moment, Dani forgets all of her frustrations.

“Yeah, I’m ready,” Dani lies, forcing a smile.

“Great, c’mon,” Paige says, grinning as she takes Dani’s hand, the pair of them leaving Paige’s house through the front door.

As they walk down the street, Dani can’t help but feel a pang in her heart. She’s grown up next to Paige, and this street, this neighborhood, has been their playground for as long as she can remember. Every corner holds a memory, every crack in the sidewalk a story. And, now, with Paige leaving tomorrow, Dani feels like she’s about to lose a piece of herself. Sure, after the summer they still have the entirety of their senior year together. But after that? Nothing. Because Paige will have summer sessions and be at UConn and become a basketball star and Dani will still be here. Of course, there’s been short, hopeful conversations about Dani going to Connecticut, too, so that they can spend their college years together. But Dani knows it’s unrealistic—her dad wants her to stay in Minnesota so she’ll stay in Minnesota. And Paige will be a thousand miles away, starting a new life that doesn’t involve her childhood best friend.

“Who’s all gonna be here tonight?” Dani asks as they walk along the sidewalk, trying to start conversation.

“Oh, everyone, I think,” Paige says, bobbing her head enthusiastically. “I mean, y’know probably like the same crowd from New Years. Maybe more, since some of Luca’s college friends are back. Ion know, prolly whoever’s in a five mile radius that’s wanting free booze. I’m sure it’ll be fun.”

Dani nods and bites her lip, trying to swallow down her disappointment. “Yeah, fun,” she echoes, trying to sound convincing.

They walk in comfortable silence for a little while, Paige sometimes purposefully walking into Dani and making her stumble a little. Dani watches the blonde out of the corner of her eye, heart banging against her chest as if it’s a jail cell, forced to hold inside everything it longs to say. She wants to tell Paige that she doesn’t want to go to this party, that instead she wants to spend their night together, really together. She wants to tell Paige that the idea of losing her for three months—and then, once they graduate, for forever—has been tearing her apart inside.

But most of all, she wants to tell Paige that she loves her.

The thought has been haunting Dani for months now. It crept up on her slowly, in quiet moments and stolen glances, until now it’s become all she’s able to think about. She’s tried to push it down, tried to convince herself that it’s just a phase, just confusion. But the more she tries to ignore it, the more it seems to consume her.

Dani’s never been in love before. Sure, she’s dated boys in the past, liked them enough. But it’s never felt real, not like it does with Paige. Because Paige makes her feel alive in ways that no one else ever has. And that? That fucking scares the shit out of Dani. It scares her because she knows exactly how her dad would react if he ever found out. It scares her because she has no idea if Paige feels the same way. But most of all, it scares her because it’s not right—her liking another girl like this is wrong and it’s bad.

(Sometimes, though, it feels so right.)

And yet, tonight, with Paige leaving in the morning, Dani feels like she’s running out of time. Maybe tonight she can find the courage to say something—anything. Maybe tonight she can find the words.

(She doubts it.)

The party is already in full swing when Paige and Dani arrive. The house is packed with people, the music blaring so loud that the Callan girl can feel the bass thumping in her chest. The air is thick with the smell of alcohol, weed, and sweat, and Dani fights the urge to turn around and walk right back out the door. But Paige is already pulling her inside, their hands linked, her excitement palpable.

The pair make their way through the crowd, Paige greeting people left and right, voice loud and grin never wavering. Dani tries to keep up, tries to match her best friend’s energy—but she feels like she’s drowning in a sea of noise and bodies and it’s making her anxious.

It’s at times like these that Dani realizes just how different her and Paige are. Paige is outgoing and extroverted, a ball of energy and enthusiasm and it’s hard to ever keep her in a single place at once. She talks and talks and talks and she’s so charming she could probably make anyone fall in love with her. Dani’s the exact opposite. She’s introverted, preferring a small circle over a large one. She’s more withdrawn and quiet, and likes to listen instead of speak. She’s reserved and she doesn’t mind it—except when she’s at places like these.

“Hey, I’m gonna grab us some drinks,” Paige shouts over the music, leaning close to Dani’s ear.

“Okay,” the Callan girl nods, watching as the blonde disappears through the crowd.

Left alone, Dani takes a deep breath, glancing around the room. She recognizes a few faces, people from school, but none of them are close friends. None of them are Paige. She briefly talks to the boy that was her Chemistry partner for the majority of last semester, before excusing herself and gravitating towards a corner of the room, away from the chaos, where she can at least try to collect her thoughts.

As she stands there, watching the party unfold around her, Dani’s mind begins to wander. She thinks about how different things are gonna be this summer, without Paige. She thinks about the way Paige smiled at her earlier, how her touch sent shivers down Dani’s spine. She thinks about what it would be like to kiss her.

“Dani?”

She blinks, snapping out of her reverie at the sound of her name. She glances up to see Paige standing in front of her, two red solo cups in hand and a concerned expression painting her face.

“You okay?” the blonde asks, handing Dani one of the cups.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” the girl replies, taking the cup and offering a weak smile. “Just… thinking.”

Paige’s concern doesn’t waver. “You sure? You seem kinda, like… Ion know, off tonight?”

Dani hesitates, the words on the tip of her tongue. She wants to tell Paige everything. She wants to pour out her heart right there, in the middle of this stupid party, and finally let her best friend know just how much she means to her. But the words don’t come, stuck in the back of the brunette’s throat. She can’t bring herself to say them.

Instead, Dani takes a sip of her drink—some sort of vodka lemonade, she thinks—and forces herself to smile. “I’m good. Just a little overwhelmed, I guess. Big party.”

Paige studies her for a moment longer, blue eyes searching her best friend’s face for answers. Then, she seems to accept it, her grin returning as she leans in closer.

“Okay,” she agrees. “But lemme know if you need a break, yeah? We can always go out back on the swings for a bit or somethin’—just you and me.”

Just you and me. Dani’s heart skips a beat at the words, and she feel the tips of her ears beginning to redden like they always do when she’s flushed. However, before she can respond, someone calls out Paige’s name from across the room. The blonde girl glances over her shoulder, her smile widening when she catches sight of who’s beckoning her.

“Hey, I’ll be right back, okay? Don’t go anywhere,” Paige says, giving Dani’s arm a reassuring squeeze before heading off to greet some tall boy that Dani can only assume is another basketball player.

The brunette watches her best friend go, feeling a pang of disappointment settle in her chest. She’d been so close to saying something, so close to telling Paige how she really feels. But now, the moment is gone, swept away along with Paige, leaving Dani alone once again—albeit, with a drink this time.

The night wears on, and Dani tries her best to keep up with Paige’s energy, but it only seems to be getting harder and harder. Paige comes and goes, sometimes bringing Dani with her, sometimes not. She moves through the whole party, laughing and talking with everyone, her charming smile never faltering. For a while, Dani follows along with her best friend, almost like a lost puppy. It then dawns on her just how pathetic she is as she endures Paige’s conversations with basketball bro after basketball bro. Eventually, Dani can’t take it, excusing herself. As she walks away, it feels like it’s Paige slipping from her grasp, even though it was Dani that left the blonde girl’s side.

Dani finds herself in the kitchen, making herself another drink to keep busy. And then she downs it. And repeats the process. It makes things easier, more bearable.

She keeps going for far too long before a voice calling her name interrupts the ongoing process. Dani turns to see Thaliah Sommers, and, when her eyes set on the girl, her shoulders automatically relax and she breathes out a sigh of utter relief.

“Oh, thank God,” Dani whines, leaning into Thaliah and resting a head on the girl’s shoulder.

Thaliah has known Dani and Paige since the fourth grade, when the trio had to share a table for half the school year. It sparked a long-lasting friendship, and Dani and Paige would both probably tell you that other than each other, Thaliah is their best friend. And Jalen Suggs, too. Even though he goes to a different school, Paige and his basketball connection ended up becoming more genuine and the blonde had introduced the boy to Dani and Thaliah, which basically became history. The four clicked almost instantly, and they’ve been great friends since. But Dani knows Jalen isn’t here tonight—he’s out-of-state, for basketball. He won’t be back til the end of July, she’s pretty sure.

“You having fun?” Thaliah asks as she wraps a friendly arm around Dani’s side, letting the drunker girl lean on her. Dani shakes her head, pouting childishly. Thaliah chuckles a little at the sight. “Anxious?” she adds, knowing the Callan girl well.

“And disgusted,” Dani nods, watching a boy chug from a keg across the room, beer spewing around him.

Both girls laugh at the sight, and then Dani’s had enough, eyes flitting away from the scene to a different one. She wishes she would’ve kept her gaze on the boy instead. Because this is much worse.

Over, near the back door, Dani sees Paige. Paige Bueckers, clear as day, in the flesh. And she’s kissing someone. A girl. A pretty blonde girl that Dani doesn’t recognize. The sight hits Dani like a punch to the gut, knocking the wind out of her.

She stares in disbelief, her heart pounding in her chest as she watches Paige pull the girl closer, their bodies pressed together, their lips moving in perfect sync. Dani digs her fingers into the side of her solo cup, crumbling it slightly; she feels like she’s going to be sick.

“Even more so now,” Dani mumbles, referencing her last comment.

Thaliah’s eyes widen, starting, “Dani—”

But Dani won’t hear it. She won’t hear anything. Without thinking, she turns and practically bolts from the house, her drink forgotten on the counter as she pushes her way through the crowd. She needs to get out of here. She needs to breathe. She needs to get as far away from that sight as possible.

The cool night air hits her like a splash of cold water as she stumbles out onto the front lawn, her breath coming in short, ragged gasps. Her mind races, a jumbled mess of emotions that she can’t untangle. She feels betrayed, hurt, angry, but most of all, she feels stupid.

So fucking stupid.

Stupid for thinking that Paige could ever feel the same about her. Stupid for believing she had a chance. Stupid for letting herself become enough of a mess to not only like another girl romantically—but for that girl to be her best friend.

“Dani! Danielle, wait!”

Paige’s voice calls out from behind the girl, and Dani feels her heart lurch. She doesn’t want to stop. She doesn’t want to face Paige right now, not after what she just saw. But her feet betray her, slowing to a halt as she reaches the sidewalk.

Paige catches up to her, slightly out of breath, her expression a mix of confusion and concern. “Dan, what the hell? Why’d you just run out like that?”

Dani turns to face the basketball player, and the anger she’s been holding back finally begins to boil over. “Why do you think, Paige?” she snaps, voice trembling slightly as she tries to keep her eyes from swimming.

Paige frowns, clearly taken aback by the venom in her best friend’s words. “I don’t know!” she replies, throwing her hands up. “That’s why I’m asking! What’s going on with you tonight?”

Dani lets out a bitter laugh, shaking her head in disbelief. “What’s going on with me? What’s going on with me? You seriously don’t fucking get it, do you?”

Paige’s confusion only deepens. “No, I don’t! Dani, please, just talk to me—what happened? What’s wrong?”

Dani clenches her fists at her sides, trying to keep her voice steady. “I just watched you make out with some random girl, Paige! That’s what happened! That’s what’s wrong!”

Paige’s eyes widen with realization, her baby blues flitting across Dani’s face in almost a panic. She takes a step closer to her best friend as she quickly says, “Oh… oh, shit, Dani, I’m sorry. I didn’t think—”

“Exactly!” the Callan girl cuts her off, her voice rising. “You didn’t think! You never think! You don’t think about anyone but yourself!”

Paige recoils as if she’s been slapped, her face falling. “Dani, that’s not fair…”

“Isn’t it?” Dani shoots back, anger spilling over once more. “You didn’t even care that this was our last night together! You didn’t care that I wanted to spend it with you, just the two of us! You only cared about going to this stupid party and kissing some random girl! Like I don’t even matter to you!”

Paige’s eyes fill with tears, and she reaches out to touch her best friend’s arm, but she jerks away. “Dani, please, that’s not true. I promise you it’s not. You matter to me more than anything. I just… I don’t know what to say.”

The brunette’s anger begins to wane, instead replaced by the overwhelming sadness that’s been building inside her all night. Her eyes swim and blur as her voice softens, shaking with emotion. “Then why does it feel like I’m losing you? Why does it feel like if I don’t hold onto you as tight as possible, you’ll slip away from me?”

Paige stares at her, eyes shining with unshed tears. For a long moment, neither of them say anything. The only sound is the distant hum of the party and the rustle of leaves with the breeze. Dani’s heart pounds in her chest, her pulse quickening with each second that passes.

Finally, Paige takes a deep breath and takes a step closer to Dani, her voice barely above a whisper. “You’re not losing me, Dan. I promise you, you’re not.”

Dani stares at her, vision blurred with tears, voice breaking. “Then why does it feel like I am?”

Paige stands still for a long moment, shutting her eyes tightly. When she opens them again, tears begin to spill down her cheeks. “Danielle,” she starts quietly, and Dani’s eyebrows furrow slightly at the usage of her full name. “Danielle, I have been in love with you since the sixth grade.” The statement makes the brunette’s eyes widen, jaw going slack, as her own tears finally begins to fall. “Remember when I got that concussion, at my game? You— you came to my house as soon as you found out, and you were crying at the thought of me being hurt. And I was the one that had to console you. And— and then you”—Paige sniffles and swipes a hand across her nose—“you kissed me on the head and told me that you would always take care of me. And that was when I knew. I knew that I loved you and that I could never ever really be with anyone that wasn’t my best friend, Danielle Lizzie Callan. I knew it then, and I—I know it now.”

Paige pauses, and then her voice breaks even more when she starts again, “But I’ve been so scared to tell you. I never thought you liked girls, I always thought you were straight. There was no way you could love me back, right? And I—I know how your dad feels about it all, and you know how long it took me to even tell you I liked girls because I was afraid that you felt the same way towards it that he did. And even when I found out you didn’t, I still thought that a girl being in love with you—that me being in love with you—would disgust you and you’d hate me for it. So I never said anything.”

Paige ducks her head as a sob cuts through her throat. Dani takes a step closer, reaching up to cup her best friend’s face in her hands.

“I don’t hate you, Paige. I could never hate you,” she tells the blonde sincerely, keeping her voice even. “And I could never hate you, because I’m in love with you, too.”

Before Paige can say anything, Dani leans in and presses her lips to the blonde’s. The kiss is soft at first, tentative, as if they’re both waiting for the other to pull away. Even if Dani feels her cross necklace begin to burn into her skin, she can’t stop. She won’t.

All the anger, all the hurt, all the confusion seems to melt away in that moment, leaving only the overwhelming relief of finally, finally knowing that Paige feels the same way. Dani keeps on kissing her, hands slipping from her cheeks to the nape of her neck as Paige’s hands find their way to Dani’s waist.

It isn’t perfect. It’s messy, and frantic, and a little sloppy, but it’s real. And it’s them.

When they finally pull apart, both of them are breathing hard, their foreheads resting together as they try to catch their breath. Dani feels like she’s floating, feels like she’s dreaming, and she doesn’t ever want to wake up.

“I love you,” Paige whispers. “I’m sorry it took me so long to say it.”

Dani feels her heart swell up with so much happiness it might just burst. “I love you, too, P. So much.”

They don’t go back to the party. Instead, they go to Dani’s house, where they planned to have a sleepover anyways. The walk is short, and they do it hand-in-hand, swaying a little and giggling a lot. When they get to Dani’s porch and the girl begins to shuffle for her keys, Paige takes the opportunity to peck her neck from behind over and over and over again, whispering in the girl’s ear, “I love you.”

It’s so refreshing to hear Paige say it that, for a moment, Dani forgets about her keys and pulls her best friend in for another kiss on the mouth, closing her eyes and savoring it.

Eventually, they do get inside and find their way up into Dani’s bedroom. They change, and shuffle their way under the covers, bodies close, skin touching. Dani tries not to think about her father in the room beside hers, or the bible on her bedside table.

“I don’t want to leave you tomorrow,” Paige murmurs against Dani’s collarbone, sighing.

Dani’s heart slows at the thought, a deep pang, but she knows that there isn’t another option. “I don’t want you to leave either. But we’ll be okay. We’ll miss each other, but we’ll be okay.”

Paige nods, looking up and letting her eyes flit across Dani’s face as if she’s trying to memorize every detail of it. “Yeah, we will.”

(They won’t.)

[wynnyfryd]

Trailer Park Steve AU part 3

part 1 | part 2

(tw: guns, accidental death)

Robin’s already in full panic mode by the time Steve pulls up to her place, flinging the passenger door open and throwing herself into the car with so much force that the car bounces on its wheels a little. “Drive!!”

“Jesus Christ, good morning to you, too.”

“Steve!”

Steve starts to drive.

Beside him, Robin flips the visor down to look at her reflection; groans and scrubs her hands down her face in misery at whatever she sees. Steve doesn’t really get it. He thinks she looks beautiful, with her hair gently moving in the breeze from the open window, with her freckles lit up by the early morning sun.

“Ugh,” she says, turning to look at him, “I can’t believe I look like a zombie and you’re gonna make me late to the first day of school.”

“Wow.” Fuckin’ ingrate. And when he was just being so nice to her in his head. “How about a thank you, huh? ‘Thanks for picking me up, Steve. Thanks for bringing my backpack, Steve. Sorry you almost got shanked by your neighbor, Steve.’”

“You what???”

“Doesn’t matter.”

“Um, yes it very much does matter, what the—”

“—I’m just saying, a little gratitude? Wouldn’t hurt you.”

He licks at the corner of his mouth, spritzes wiper fluid to clear the bugs off the windshield. Robin’s eyes are bulging out of her head, but he really doesn’t want to talk about how he still feels the ghost press of steel against his throat, so: “You’re not even right, by the way; I don’t know why you’re complaining.”

“Huh?”

“School started yesterday. I’m making you late for the second day of school.”

“Yesss,” she draws the word out like he’s stupid, rolling her wrist in a hurry up and get it motion, “but everyone knows that syllabus day doesn’t count. The first pep rally is the real first day of school.”

Ah, there it is.

Steve steals another peek at his best friend while they’re on a straightaway, notes the nervous twitch of her hands as she goes back to fussing at her reflection; the way she’s clumping her lashes together with seven coats too many of some drugstore brand mascara. She’s wearing lipstick. “This is about Vick—”

“—Don’t talk about—”

“—It’s about Vickie, isn’t it?”

“Ughhhhh.” Robin folds forward and thunks her head against the dash. “Fine, okay? Fine! Yes! This may have something to do with a distressingly cute fellow marching band member. Are you happy now?”

“Ecstatic.”

“Oooh, big word for you, Steven.” She swats him on the shoulder, face all twisted up in offense. “Stop laughing!��

“Stop hitting me,” he laughs. “I’ll dump your ass out on this highway.”

She gasps and narrows her eyes at him. “You wouldn’t.”

Steve eases his foot onto the brake.

“Okay, okay! Mercy! I’m being an asshole, alright? I’m sorry. I’m just— I’m stressed! Being gay is very stressful.”

The knife incident pops back into his mind. “Yeah,” he mutters, “I imagine it is.”

—

He catches himself slouching down into his seat a bit when they pull up to the school. Has to force himself to sit upright, hears his mother’s tutting in his ear about bad posture and the message it projects to the world.

It’s not that he’s embarrassed to be here; really, he isn’t. He’s just hoping to avoid being spotted by the nuggets now that they go here, too, lest he be accosted for evading his chauffeur duties.

God.

Dustin’s nerd shit is infecting his brain.

Robin grabs her bag out of the back seat, plants a parting peck on Steve’s cheek as she gets out of the car. “See you later?”

“Yeah, I’ll pick you up for work.”

“Love you, dingus.”

And then he’s alone again.

With Robin gone, Steve finds himself driving. Wandering and aimless, like a ghost who doesn’t know he’s gone. It’s not like he has nothing to do — he’s supposed to be out finding a second job, finding a way to support himself and his mom, because he’s the man of the house now. Because his life has turned into one of those shitty, overcomplicated word problems from math class.

If a recently widowed mother works no hours and her minimum-wage son works as many as Family Video will allow, how much mold-riddled dogshit housing can they afford?

Not much.

Inevitably, he finds himself circling the scorched bones of Starcourt, driving tired loops around the barbed wire perimeter. His ghost likes to guide him here; can’t shake the place where he shook off the mortal coil.

He didn’t know it at the time, but Steve Harrington died the day the mall burned down. Embarrassing, to not hear the death knell as his family name went up in smoke.

It was hard to hear much at all that night, between the concussion and the fireworks and the shrieking of a monster being torn apart, but the memory caresses his mind now in cruel whispers: the headrush of victory; the blood and the sweat; the relief that they’d won, they’d done it, it’s over, they won.

Steve tugs at his bad ear ‘til the ringing subsides.

Some fucking grand prize.

The thing is, you can’t go around exploding an eldritch horror without alerting the US government, and the US government can’t go around letting major investors in a hostile commie invasion keep their assets once they find out about their treasonous schemes. It happened fast: the arrest, the bail, the impending trial and the seizure of property. Richard Harrington was once a small town god on an invisible throne, making deals with devils in shadowy boardrooms, and suddenly he was looking at life in a cell.

Maybe it was a blessing he died before his reckoning was due. Maybe it was no accident at all.

The second, and perhaps more important, thing is: stray bullets don’t care about your looming court date.

Dad had a habit of cleaning his guns while he was drunk, nursing a whiskey in one hand while he polished the gleaming barrels with the other. Pointless, really, because the guns were always pristine to begin with. Dick Harrington didn’t hunt. Didn’t shoot. Claimed the pistol was for home defense, that he kept it loaded in case anyone ever tried to hurt his family, but Steve knew the truth.

His dad just liked to flirt with death. Liked to handle pretty, deadly things, stroke his fingers over ruthless metal and feel the rush of power when he walked away unscathed.

He didn’t walk away that night.

Didn’t even face death standing.

Sliced through his femoral artery and rolled right out of his chair.

They found him lying on the ground in a dark, sticky puddle, gasping like a fish as blood spurted from his thigh. Crazy how fast it happened. Steve had been in his room when the shot rang out, and he barely managed to reach the bottom of the stairs before the gurgling noises stopped. Just boom! whizz! bang! and Dick Harrington was gone.

Maybe it’s a good thing, too, that they lost the house.

The image of his mother in the hallway that night — shellshocked in the doorway, one pale hand shaking in front of her open mouth, features wide and wet with waking horror as she stared into the room — was enough to make him never want to step foot in the place again.

So now they live in a rundown piece of shit on the wrong side of town, with hideous burnt orange carpet and wood paneled walls, with cracks in the ceiling and cigarette burns in the walls, some parting gifts from whatever feral hick lived there before them, and it feels like another cruel, cosmic joke. Like the universe is delighting in the Harringtons’ comeuppance; like the blackened beams and brick rubble of Starcourt are all twisting to form one great, mocking mouth; the better to smile and laugh at their misfortune.

You bought your bed, now you have to lie in it.

He didn’t even know that the Harringtons owned Forest Hills until it was the only asset left to their name.

He’s pretty sure his dad bought it more as a joke than a genuine investment. Meant to teach Steve a lesson, like how he used to bring home Waffle House applications whenever Steve got a C on a report card. This is your future if you don’t straighten up, son.

Kill yourself, dad.

Oh, wait.

You already did.

—

part 4

[simpxxstan]

lunch

pairing: elementary school teachers lee seokmin x f.reader

genre: fluff, fluff and some more fluff. a tiny pinch of angst.

summary: as a veteran at sebong elementary school, you don't let any of your juniors get too close to you. the new science teacher, lee seokmin, doesn't seem to get the note, though.

word count: 9.6k words

rating: pg 13 

warnings: use of a few profanities, mention of alcohol and illegal gambling. reader is a bit cold in the beginning. slight age gap.

a/n: SO MUCH FLUFF my body hurts but it was so nice to just write good guy dokyeom after all that angst for wonwoo. i'm sorry to any hyungwon fans who may be reading this though T_T

would love to hear feedback!! reblogs and comments are so so much appreciated <3

this is part of the boys over flowers series featuring booseoksoon + chan! this is the first instalment in that series.

It was a day of much ruckus and excitement. The teachers and students were all waiting eagerly to meet the four new teachers who were joining Sebong Elementary School that day. Children with bright cherub faces peeped from their classroom windows, some crowded in the corridors, and teachers whispered loudly, as they all waited to see the four faces of the new teachers emerge from the Principal’s office. And when they finally did, a loud, collective gasp was heard rippling through every room and corner of Sebong Elementary School. And then the bubble broke, as loud whispers and giggling overtook every other noise, as the four men smiled at the kids and adults gathered through the school. They shone brighter than the tubelights on the ceiling-

“Okay, I think you’re exaggerating, Sohee. I’m sure they don’t have 1000 watt smiles.”

“Oh, Y/N, but they do! Even an ice queen like you is going to melt when you see them. They just exude warmth, kindness, and handsomeness. They look like idols, really!” 

“Now you’re definitely exaggerating. Park carefully, and don’t daydream please. I’ve been nervous from the moment I let you drive my car.”

“It’s a third-hand car. I should, in fact, smash it, so that you can buy something better. The government’s just moments away from declaring it as junk.”

“This is all I can afford, Sohee.”

“Car loans exist!”

“Bankruptcy exists!”

Sohee huffs, and you meticulously check the rear view mirror to ensure she parks neatly. Once done, (read, once Sohee has finished touching up her lipstick and her mascara, and put a few cute hairclips in her long brown hair, cute by her metrics), you both step out of the car. The heat has become harsher, and you’re a little taken aback by the sting of sunlight on your skin. But it feels good to be out again after that stupid bout of fever which had kept you away from school, and consequently, your life. 

You meet several students getting out from the bus in front of the school, some smiling and already chattering with their friends, others shyly holding on to the fingers of their parents. Some of them wave hi to you, others loudly squeal their welcome backs. Your morning grumpiness is slowly wearing away, and you can feel energy bubbling in. It’s barely been the start of the year, and the little ones are very, very gradually warming up to the idea of being away from home for longer than three hours. It’s a trying time for their teachers, and you’re grateful that you don’t teach the youngest class. 

On the short walk from the parking area to the school, and it’s such a miracle that Sohee doesn’t start talking about the four new teachers, because you’re frankly tired of hearing about them. It feels like they don’t exist, and even if they do, they’re going to be massive letdowns compared to Sohee’s descriptions. Sohee does have the habit of hyperbole. 

But you fall headfirst into it as you slide open the door to the staffroom. Everyone stands up and greets you, as you’re one of the earliest members of the staff. You’d like to think that their greetings are out of affection, and not just respect, but you don’t mind. Majority of the staff is quite young, and people look up to you as the sunbae, and it’s a position of respect you crave and enjoy. It’s not like you’re great at showing how you love them either. You can just hope that they get to know about it from time to time, and don’t hate you for not being too affectionate.

As everyone stands up, you bow to the general crowd, and greet them back, but you’re also welcomed by four unknown faces. 

Oh. They must be the new teachers. 

Well, Sohee wasn’t really wrong-

Sohee immediately sparks up and begins talking about how you had really high fever, and every evening she found you lying inside your bed, covered in blankets like a burrito, messy in snot and sweat-

“Okay, that’s enough. Sohee, please spare them the details of my ugly illness.” You’re embarrassed and quite red all over, and out of the corner of your eye, you’re watching the reactions of the four new men. Sure, you may not care much about what other people think, but it’s your first impression after all. Everyone is quite vehemently cooing at you now, and the four men have confused, but concerned expressions on their faces. 

Minseo comes to the rescue, when she diverts the topic to introduce the new faces to you, and you’re grateful for the first time to hear about these new teachers. 

“This is our sunbae, Y/L/N Y/N! She’s one of the first teachers at Sebong Elementary School.” “Aaah, Minseo-yah! You make it sound like she’s old!” Sohee scolds, but you don’t mind. You sure feel old after the way that fever broke your immunity like a twig.

“Aah, sorry. And Y/N Unnie, these are our new joinees this year!” She gestures towards the men, and they bow. You bow in return, and take a full look at them, smiling back at them. 

“Hello! I’m Lee Chan, I’m a ‘99 liner! I’ll work hard and show my best side to you, sunbae!” “Good morning! I’m Boo Seungkwan. Nice to meet you!” “Oh, sunbae, hello! I’m Kwon Soonyoung, I’m also glad to meet you Y/N-ssi!” “And I’m Lee Seokmin! I’ll work hard, please take good care of me, sunbae!” They shake your hands like dominos, and your eyes linger a second too long on the last one, the tall one with the brightest smile. 1000 watt seems about right? “I’m happy to meet you too! Let’s work hard for a long time!” You smile back, and there’s a collective Fighting! through the room, before the school bell rings, and the cacophony of kids entering their classrooms breaks the silence of the school building. 

_

It’s lunchtime, and you’ve already forgotten their names. Sohee insists that you sit with them at the same table for lunch, but you’re not hungry enough to take lunch. It’s been a tiring day, and you just want to sip your iced americano and finish the pending work on your desk in the staffroom. Missing a week of school is as burdensome for teachers as it is for students. There are piles of things left to be done, and you assign yourself the task of finishing filling in the register with the names of the students for that lunch break. The staffroom is empty, and you’re happy to work in peace. 

You’re so focused on your work that you don’t even notice when a tall man walks into the staffroom sometime in the middle of the lunch break, peeps at you from his desk at the other corner of the room, and then leaves. 

_

It’s finally Friday, and that’s how you’ve spent the last four lunch breaks. You’re finally getting through the pile of work at a steady pace. On top of it all, the Principal has promoted you to the Head Teacher of Science Department, as the previous head’s tenure is over, and that means all the science teachers have to approve their lesson plans for this term through you and you’re also in charge of allotting field trips for scientific experiments. 

That’s why Lee Seokmin ambushes you when you’re about to leave at the end of the school day. “Sunbae, I was wondering if you could perhaps look at my lesson plan once? Maybe you could go over it during the weekend?”

You halt your actions of packing your bag, and carefully take the folder from the outstretched hand of the tall man towering over your desk. “Umm, I could look through it now.”

“No, I mean! I’m sorry I didn’t know how to approach you earlier, Sunbae. I’m sorry, I don’t want to keep you from heading home, I’m really sorry-”

“Please stop apologising, Seokmin-ssi. It’s not a big deal. It’s better for me to go through it now in your presence, rather than take it home. I’ll be able to discuss it more smoothly with you then, in case any changes are needed.” 

His puppy brown eyes become tiny slits as he smiles wide. You realise that his hair is draping over his forehead in black curls, and the white shirt he’s wearing reveals the column of his neck very elegantly. He does look good enough to be an idol, you think. 

“Seokmin-ssi, come take a seat here. I won’t bite, in spite of what you may have heard-”

“Oh no! The kids are all praise for you. I’m so thankful to be succeeding you in the classes, because you’ve set such a strong foundation for the students. You’ve made my job a cakewalk, truly.”

“I’m just thankful that you deal with the younger ones now. I enjoy teaching them, but sometimes they can…” You smile lopsidedly, and Seokmin grins. “I’ve heard that I have a lot of patience, sunbae…” “And you have a lot of fighting spirit that we tend to have when we’ve just joined the school. You’ll manage.”

And then the conversation halts. It flows in bits and pieces, as you flip through his lesson plan and discuss changes with him, speaking from experience of having taught these same classes six years more than him. His lesson plan book is very colourful, filled with stickers from cartoons, and brightly drawn smiley flowers. Something in you makes you think that maybe he’s not just doing this as a show for the kids, but also because he likes to do it. He’s very animated in every statement he makes, hand gestures all over his face, but he quietens down when he realises you’re no longer looking at his face, and would rather just get through the work quickly. You’re not annoyed at him, no. It’s just a little overwhelming to see all this energy being thrown at you, and it makes you tired, wondering how to reciprocate it. So you just silently finish your task, and bid him goodbye. He offers to drop you home, but then you say you have your own car, so he gives you another smile and with a natural ease, hops on to his electric bicycle and rides off into the road. 

_

Seokmin-ssi, you realise, doesn’t want reciprocation. He greets you cheerfully every morning, whenever you see him in the campus, whenever you’re making eye contact before leaving for the day, and whenever you both arrive at the same time at school. He doesn’t just say hello, but he also asks if you had a good weekend, if you had a good sleep, if you ate breakfast, if you’ve recovered fully from your cold, if you’re taking your vitamins. It makes you more uncomfortable than before, confusing you whether he’s just buttering you up as a sunbae or whether he’s genuinely this nice. It’s also a little worrying because it makes you feel like he’s trying too hard to be close and you don’t want to be a bother for him, so you hope he takes the hint. But he obviously doesn’t, because the next time you walk into the staffroom determined not to leave your desk, and instead enjoy the peaceful solitude of the staffroom to recharge your battery, you notice a very neat lunch tray sitting on your desk with a note attached on top, “Sunbae, please don’t skip your meals!” It takes you aback, and you stare at it for a good four minutes. Finally you realise you’re too flustered to eat it, and you just keep it aside and get back at your work. 

When Seokmin comes back from his lunch break, he makes the mistake of looking at your desk to see if you’ve eaten, and there. He makes eye contact with your razor sharp eyes looking at him from above your reading glasses. He walks up to your desk and says, “You didn’t eat, sunbae?”

“What do you think you’re doing?”

“I- I- just wanted to-”

“Firstly, Seokmin-ssi, I’m not skipping meals. Secondly, I don’t know if this is normal for you, but I’d appreciate it if we could be harmonious as colleagues. I don’t need you to be my mother for me and feed me. I’m an adult and I know when to eat.”

You can see him gulp and fumble, and for a second, you think you’ve been too harsh. You almost backtrack and apologise, scared that the little light in his eyes is going to go out, but he speaks faster, “I just don’t want you to fall sick again, sunbae. I’m sorry if I was too presumptuous. I’ll do better from now on.” And without another second, he turns and walks out of the room, leaving you speechless. The light in his eyes may not have gone out, but you sure were too mean. Afterall, he was just being nice to you, wasn’t he?”

_

So, the next week, when you’re finally on track and completed all your pending work, you walk into the cafeteria looking to take a lunch break. And you spot Seokmin sitting with Chan on one table on the teacher’s side of the cafeteria. Chan is a sweet boy, and you want to make amends with Seokmin, so you carefully walk across the room to their table and ask, “Can I have lunch with you?” You ask them both, and Chan instantly begins to clear space for you to sit down, but you’re distracted by how wide Seokmin smiles, and you know the ice has melted. He’s forgiven you, so you gently sit down next to him.

It’s a mistake. You hadn’t accounted for how broad he is, and how much he moves his body while speaking. His thighs inch closer to yours with every movement, although very much unconsciously. Even though you’re both sitting, he’s still taller than you, and it makes you shy.

You’re thankful when Soonyoung joins you across the table and you can distract yourself by speaking to him. “Sunbae, it’s so nice to see you in the cafeteria! We rarely ever see you outside the staffroom.” You smile as wide as you can, your mouth full of food. Chan joins in, “Yes, sunbae! Seokmin hyung’s been so-” “We’ve all been worried,” Seokmin interjects, and you’re hit by a pang of guilt. It is pretty natural for coworkers to care about each other. Especially since you’re their senior and they must be looking to make a good impression. 

“I’ve been a little busy with all pending work. The start of the year can be stressful for us senior teachers.”

“I hear Seungkwan hyung is being put in charge of the after-school creche duty?”

“You’ve heard right, Chan. He did apply for it, and given his congenial personality, I think he’d do well if he joined the creche roster.”

“A roster? That means he won’t have duty every day?” Soonyoung asks you.

“Yes, there will be two teachers alternating from Monday to Friday.”

“Oh! Someone lucky gets two days only!”

“We try to ensure even distribution through the month,” you say. “Plus, of course, there can be others volunteering from time to time. So for example, next month, there’s a storytelling week at the creche. Sohee and I will be volunteering for that week as storytellers- that way, the ones responsible for the creche can have a week’s leave from the extra duty.”

Soonyoung and Chan nod in understanding, but you’ve noticed Seokmin is extra quiet, uncharacteristically even. “Do you enjoy the cafeteria food, Seokmin-ssi?” you ask him, speaking softer so that Chan and Soonyoung can’t hear you. It must surprise him, because he looks up at you with wide, boba eyes, and he looks more like a puppy than ever. “I do! The variety is good.” “I’m glad. The caterers recently got changed. The previous ones were seriously falling behind on quality.” Seokmin smiles and eats a big bite of rice and soup, and you chuckle at the comical way his mouth fills up. 

_

You didn’t even think Seokmin would remember. In fact, you’d forgotten that you’d mentioned it yourself. 

But he does. He doesn’t just remember, but he also brings a bag full of old picture books.

You swear your heart stops the moment he enters the hall where the after-school creche is organized and hands you the bag. “These were books my mother had kept for ages even after I’d finished reading them a million times. Thought I’d use them somehow, instead of just letting them gather dust on shelves,” he says as he smiles that pretty, wide smile again. It’s been long enough into the new semester now for you to get used to both Seokmin’s smiles, so you can bask in it. The children bask in it too. Most of the tiny members of the creche know him from the class where he’s teaching about animals, and they squeal in excitement. “Aah, Seokmin-ah, you really didn’t have to. You could’ve gone home and rested for the weekend.” His smile drops, and you mentally slap yourself. You really should take care of your words better, so you rephrase it, “What I meant is… you don’t have to do this out of your way.” “I’m not… going out of my way. I just thought I’d come and watch you, sunbae. I want to learn how to handle little children even better.” 

So he sits in a corner of the hall, Byul and Jiwon sitting on his lap, while his eyes are fixed on you. You’ve taken the storytelling class two days this week, and this is your third day, so you really shouldn’t be so slippery, but something about how he’s looking at you so intently is making you stumble and fall over your words, and your pronunciation often comes out as jumbled as the three year olds sitting in front of you. You’re made even more aware of Seokmin’s presence when snack time arrives, and the kids are too distracted with the picture books to pay attention to their food and eat. Thankfully, Seokmin uses his charm and somehow gathers everyone to sit in a circle around the table. The children have incessant questions, some about the characters they met in the story, and some random questions too, like Are you married, Teacher Seokmin? It doesn’t matter that you pause in your movements to hear his response, a wide-eyed Minhyun looking confusedly at you, wondering why your hand holding his candy is stuck mid-air. It also doesn’t matter that your heart paces up when you see Seokmin glance in your direction before loudly proclaiming that he’s not married. 

The parents arrive soon after that, and then there’s only a crying Byul left, who’s wrapped in Seokmin’s arms as you three wait for her father to arrive. You wonder for a second, how did you ever handle kids, because when you see how Seokmin handles them, you think you’ve done it all wrong for years. He holds her two tiny hands in his own, places her in between his legs and quietly brushes her hair while whispering more imaginary stories about the elephant Byul saw earlier in the picture book. You feel unwanted in this perfect scene, Byul going perfectly silent as she listens to Seokmin talk. But then, honestly, who wouldn’t be in rapture of this beautiful young man?

Byul’s father arrives twenty minutes later, and Byul gives Seokmin a little peck on his cheek before she leaves his arms and goes off with her dad. 

“Sunbae, thank you for letting me be here! I had so much fun, and I also learnt so much from you.” You laugh, “I doubt, though. You’re such a natural with children.” He smiles, “That’s just because I have a lot of cousins. But it’s different handling kids at school. I always have to be extra-careful with them because I’m a complete stranger and not a relative.” “You’re right, and that shows in your care too, Seokmin-ah.” He blushes, and you smile as you lock up the hall and finally make your way to leave the campus. Your back hurts from sitting on the floor for so long and you’re surely glad to go home.

“Sunbae, did you bring your car?”

“Aah, no. Today was Sohee’s carpooling turn, she left early. I’ll just take the bus.”

“Let me drop you home, sunbae! It’s late already.”

You pause, and turn to look at him. His hopeful face, still radiant after the long day. And you feel that same overwhelming feeling take over you. Till now, Seokmin has only given and given, never expecting anything in return. He’s extended a helping hand without you asking for it, he’s reminded you for meals even when you’ve ignored him, he’s been nothing but kind to you. And if he’s doing this even after three whole months of him joining the school, then it can’t be just buttering tactics. 

“I don’t want to get you late, Seokmin-ah.”

“I won’t, sunbae. It’s not a worry, honestly.” He bites his lower lip, his eyebrows furrowed as he asks you again, “Please let me drop you, sunbae.”

It’s been years since a man has been this kind to you. Kind enough without coming off as a creep. A part of you is wary, but something in Seokmin’s eyes makes you feel guilty for ever mistrusting his intentions. 

“Alright, Seokmin-ah. Noona owes you one.” 

You can see the stutter in his eyes even before you hear it in his voice. 

“N-noona? Oh. Noona! I’ll drive you safely!”

And he does. Diligent, puppy-like, kind Seokmin drives you home quickly and safely. For the first time in years, you sleep with a smile on your face.

_

You enter the Principal’s office to find a very nervous-looking Seokmin standing next to the Principal. “Good Morning, Mr. Han. Is something wrong?” “Yes, good morning Y/N. I’ve just received a complaint from a parent, and as the head of science teachers, I’d like you to look into it once.” “Of course.”

Then you turn towards Seokmin, who is standing very upright, but you can see him nervously twitching his feet. “Seokmin-ssi, is the parent here in school, or have you received a written complaint?” Seokmin’s voice is barely audible the first time he speaks, so you take a couple of steps to be closer to him. “Don’t be so nervous. Please tell me everything so that I can help resolve this.” He looks at you, his eyes still wide, and the tension obvious in his face. But he takes a deep breath and says, “They’re here, in my science classroom.” “And can you tell me the gist of the matter?” “I… I… I had asked her daughter to not draw with crayons on the walls of the science classroom. And one time… I’d asked her daughter to bring more nutritious food to class instead of chips every single day.” He says softly, his eyes focused on the blue linoleum tiles on the floor. You take a deep breath. As you’ve grown more senior, you’ve eventually detached yourself from the classes of the youngest students, those below four years of age. So naturally, you’d not gotten into messes like this for a long time. But with your experience, you know just how to deal with such cases. 

So you excuse yourself from the office and walk down to Seokmin’s homeroom, gesturing him to enter as you both walk into the classroom. It is deserted, except for a very grim-looking gigantic woman standing next to a tiny girl with even tinier braids. “Good morning. I’m Y/L/N Y/N, Head of the Science Department.” “Yes, well, I’m hoping you’d be more competent about it all rather than Mr. Lee here.” 

You forcefully smile tightly and ask, “Please let me know the details of the matter.” “Where do I begin! Mr. Lee has been… very dictatorial with my daughter. First he forbids her from colouring, and then he forces her to starve herself! It’s absolutely ridiculous that a teacher can do such things!” Out of the corner of your eye, you see Seokmin shrink further away into the corner, his eyes wide. 

“Based on how well I know Mr. Lee, I can’t imagine him forcing a child to starve themselves. Correct me if I’m wrong, but did he ask her to bring a different set of food for lunch, rather than chips?” “Yes, but-” “And that was purely based on nutritional concerns, Ma’am. As teachers at Sebong Elementary School, we want to ensure our students receive proper nutrition at their growing age. And I can assure you that chips are not the most nutritious food your daughter can eat every day.” “I’m a working mother-” “I’m sure you can buy a fruit or toast a single slice of bread along with a slice of cheese along with the chips, if you’re so busy.” 

 The woman in front of you stands speechless for a second, before continuing in her boisterous tone, “But who are you to dictate what I feed my child?” “Nobody, truly. But Mr. Lee is a kindhearted man, who cares for every child in this school, and even his colleagues and peers like me. As a teacher, he has the best interest of his students in mind, you see.” “Certainly can’t be more than that of her mother.” “Of course, which is why I’d advise you too, as would any other paediatrician, that only chips is not the diet a four-year old child should be exposed to on a daily basis.” 

The woman takes a step back. Her grip on her daughter’s fingers loosen, and the child takes a step forward. “Miss, I really like the grapes Mr. Lee gave me the other day! That’s why I’ve stopped eating Eomma’s lunch!” She smiles at you, and you bend down on your knee to meet her at eye level. “Is that so? But darling, you should always eat what your mummy’s giving you. Good girls don’t skip meals, understood?” She nods her little head very seriously, so you pat her once on her head. Then you stand up again and look at her mother. “I see your daughter does enjoy eating grapes. Perhaps you could buy her some fruits for lunch.”

She tilts her head a little bit, looking fully like a kid who’s been punished for being too outspoken, and honestly you’re glad to have made that effect. Some people can be so entitled and so rude, and it leaves such a harsh impression on softer teachers like Seokmin. Which is exactly what you see when the parent does leave with her child a few minutes later, as the man, who hasn’t spoken a single word since entering the room, comes up to you gingerly. 

“Noona, thank you so much. I was so- so scared.” You smile at him as warmly as you can, “Please don’t be. It wasn’t your fault at all that some parents can misunderstand even the best intentions of teachers. It’s pretty common- as time goes on, people will just find more flaws, whether it be in your teaching skills or your child-handling skills. You just need to be less nervous when things like this happen. If you ever need help in these things, of course I’m always here… as are your other seniors. But it’s best if you learn to handle these things without taking them too much to your heart, unless you see there is genuine room for improvement for you.” He nods throughout, and his eyes have become round like a puppy’s eyes again. “I will introspect, Noona.” He laughs a bit, “This honestly isn’t the first time someone’s misunderstanding my intentions. But I will try harder to be more clear and not … not be presumptuous,” he says, looking deep into your eyes, before he bows and leaves the room.

As you stand there in the classroom, alone you realise that the situation oddly reminds you of a similar conversation you had with him at the beginning of the semester. When you’d asked him to keep his distance and not interfere … all while, he was just trying to be kind. Oh god. You’d been just as rude as the parent had been today, hadn’t you? Oh dear god. No wonder he’d looked so downcast and rejected after that.

_

Sohee’s thousand-day anniversary at the school is coming up so Minseo’s put on a surprise party at her house. It’s not a surprise to just Sohee, but also to you. “Oh, why didn’t you let me know earlier, Minseo-yah?” “We would, but you’ve just been so busy with the end of term reports and grades that we didn’t want to bother you.” “Well, that’s not something only I’m doing. I’m sure you all were busy too.” “But none of us are head of departments, you know?” She giggles, and you know it’s not a jibe. But it still feels bad to not be able to contribute when everyone is contributing in some way or the other. 

So you order a six-pound blueberry cheesecake for the party, knowing blueberry to be Sohee’s favourite flavour. And, as expected, it’s a party hit. It turns out to be the favourite flavour of a lot of people, even Seokmin, who helps himself to three slices, and you’re just glad to see them all enjoying it. There’s drinks, pizza and music playing in the background. And although the teacher community at Sebong Elementary School is not too big, you’re a lot of twenty-six people, and you’re thankful that Minseo comes from a rich family that has a big house. And yet, it feels cosy and familiar. You barely attend parties or social gatherings,  and unless it’s family occasions, having been out of the dating scene for years. But this type of party seems fun to you- perhaps it’s you growing old, perhaps it’s you no longer finding staying up late exciting, perhaps it’s you realising that getting wasted is not as interesting as you used to think it was in college. So you settle for being the woman who’s dressed in a sweater although it’s barely autumn, already mentally classified as a spinster for almost everyone you meet, thirty and with no life outside of work, and you’re happy. You’re happy right now, sipping a cocktail and eating the fried chicken Minseo’s airfrying and constantly supplying to the party, celebrating your closest friend, Sohee. You know that although Sohee’s a couple of months younger than you, and definitely has a more active love life, she’s just like you at heart, and she’s the sister you’ve never had. As she gets drunk (you can tell it’s the first time in a long time by the way she’s getting tipsy even faster than she usually does), she leans over to smooch you loudly on the cheek, and you laugh and give in to her. It creates a loud wave of cheers across the room, but it’s such a warm moment. She clinks her glass with yours and rests her head on your shoulder, while raising a toast to the teachers at Sebong Elementary School. There’s another round of cheers, and then your phone reminds you it’s ten pm, and you should be heading home because it’s a school day tomorrow. The buzz feels good, and you want to stay longer, but you’re not drunk enough to forget your responsibilities. And so the party gradually disperses. You hug Minseo and thank her for organising the wonderful party, and somehow Sohee manages to stand up on her feet steadily. Seungkwan takes the duty to drop Sohee home as he lives near her house, and before you can say anything, Seokmin takes on the responsibility of dropping you home. 

“I don’t want to impose-” “But I insist, Y/N Noona.” “Why do you always insist, Seokmin? I feel like I’m a burdensome sunbae, not a nice sunbae.” You try not to pout when he leads you to where his car is parked and opens the door for you. He giggles, his face red with the dopamine (and drinks) from the party. “You’re just fishing for compliments, Noona. You know I never think of taking care of you as a burden.” 

Perhaps drinking that third cocktail was a mistake. 

But you did drink it, so you lean over the centre console of the car and say, with a soft giggle, “If you say things like that, Seokmin-ah, people are going to misunderstand and think you like like me.”

“But I do like like you, Noona.” 

You almost miss his words while waving goodbye to the other teachers standing on the pavement in front of Minseo’s house, waiting for their rides. 

Almost. 

“What?” You spin your head so fast it gives you whiplash, and you feel like you’re instantly sober, the way you become alert instantly. Seokmin’s looking at the road as he drives into the main road, his eyes bright by reflecting the street lights. “I do, Noona.”

“No- no, you can’t. Are you serious, Seokmin-ah? Because if you are, you can’t.” 

“Why?” 

There’s a red light, and he’s looking at you, the street lights shining on his face and the gentle handsomeness of his features are glowing in their full glory. This isn’t the first time you’ve found him awe-strikingly beautiful, but right now, he looks positively angelic. His eyelashes form delicate shadows on his cheeks, and the way his hair gets swayed by the wind coming in from the open car windows makes him seem even prettier. 

“Because… you’re so… young. And fresh, and beautiful. And I’m thirty, I spend my days working and my nights reading romantic classics, and I’m so boring a-and you deserve better.”

His mouth twists bitterly, and he says, “But none of that is true, Noona.”

“It is, Seokmin-ah. You barely know me.”

“But I want to. I’m just asking for a chance.”

You stay silent for a long time. In the sparse traffic of the night, you’re reach your house quicker than you’d thought. 

“I don’t want you to make a mistake, Seokmin-ah. I shouldn’t be someone you like more than simply as a sunbae.”

He pauses, then replies, “If you don’t want to give me a chance, that’s okay Noona. I can make peace with it. But you can’t ask me to stop liking you, Noona. My feelings are mine.” 

You don’t say anything on the rest of the journey. You don’t have anything else to say. You can’t even be harsh to him because what he’s saying is logical. You cannot take away his right to like you, even if you don’t think it’s the right choice for him. You’re an adult, he’s an adult, you both have your own opinions and choices. 

It’s only when the car does reach your house that you attempt to say something. 

“I feel sorry for making you come all the way to my house to drop me. Do you want to come in to eat something? I had some dakgalbi made for tonight’s dinner before I got to know about the party.”

He looks at you for a long time. You can see the wheels turn in his head, before he says, “Okay.” 

_

Your flat is on the third floor, so you’re patiently climbing the stairs. Seokmin makes light conversation, breaking the ice, and you actively try to respond. You don’t want him to feel dejected, but you also don’t want to feel like you’re taking him to your house because you pity him after you outright rejected him. 

Your efforts go to waste when you see a figure sitting on the floor in front of the door to your apartment. 

“Hyungwon?” 

Seokmin pauses behind you, as you stand stunned on the last staircase before the landing, and the man you addressed looks up at the two of you. Even in the dim light of the single bulb lighting up the stairwell, you can see that he’s very wasted. “Y/N-ah! I- I’ve been waiting for you.”

“What are you doing here?”

“Oh, you haven’t changed, have you? Straight to the point. No hellos, no-”

“Yes, Hyungwon. What are you doing here?”

He sighs as he stands up. “I missed you.” 

Your head starts to spin. It’s like you’ve been transported back to 2022, when Hyungwon had confessed to you that he’d gambled away all your money, and that he’d been doing so for the last seven months, and that was where he was spending all his evenings at instead of the evening college you’d enrolled him into and whose fees you thought you’d been paying.

Your head spins again, and you’re stumbling back until someone catches you midway before you tumble down the stairs. 

“Noona!” that someone whispers in alarm in your ear, and you realise it’s Seokmin. 

Fuck. 

Fuck, fuck, fuck, not Seokmin. 

Why does Seokmin, out of all people, have to see this?

“Seokmin-ah, leave-”

“Ooh, who’s that?” Hyungwon takes a step closer, and takes a drink out of a soju bottle he’s holding in his left hand. “Boyfriend? You’re still into pretty boys, aren’t you?”

Seokmin pulls you closer to him, your back nearly touching his chest. “Who are you?”

“I’m Hyungwon, Y/N’s first love. You better get out of here, kid.”

“What do you want, Hyungwon? Don’t bullshit with me about missing me. No apology, no regrets, and now you’re suddenly at my doorstep?” You carefully break away from Seokmin’s gentle clasp, and walk towards your ex-boyfriend. “You want my money again.” The lanky man in front of you grins, that fucking lazy, pretty grin you’d fallen so hard for in college. 

“Y/N, where’s the love gone, jagi? Why are we talking about money?”

“Fuck off, Hyungwon. The love was gone long before I even broke up with you.”

He lifts his free hand and tries to reach out to you. “Jagiya-”

“I’m not your jagiya! Hyungwon, I’m not giving you anymore money, so you should just leave! And stop coming to me every time you want money, for god’s sake! We’re done, Hyungwon.” 

The man in front of you falls to his knees, “Please, I’m begging you, Y/N-ah! I’ll get into serious trouble if I don’t repay this debt by the end of this month! Y/N, for the sake of old times-”

“Hyungwon, please don’t! I’m not giving you any of my money, no matter how much you beg.”

His hand wraps around your leg, “Y/N-ah, please, just hear me out once! I am sorry for everything I did, and I’m so willing to amend my ways-”

“Please leave, Hyungwon-ssi, you’re making Noona uncomfortable.” Seokmin suddenly says from behind you, and you walk backward down the stairs until you’re again close enough to him that you can feel his body heat on your back. It makes you feel oddly safe.

“Who are you to say anything about Y/N, huh? You don’t even know her for long, I bet! Y/N and I dated for seven years!”

“It doesn’t matter how long I’ve known her, Hyungwon-ssi. What matters is that right now, she feels safe with me, and not around you. So please leave, Hyungwon-ssi.” You don’t even realise when his hands have come to wrap gently around you, not quite touching your body, but caging you away from the man who’s looking at you both with frantic and desperate eyes. You don’t know he knows that you’re feeling safe around him, but you’re so grateful. “If you don’t leave now, I’ll have to call the police, Hyungwon-ssi.”

The man in front of you gulps. “Fuck! I’ll be back, Y/N-ah. And then I’ll see where this boyfriend of yours will be!” And he storms down the stairs, cursing under his breath, and you’re still shaking in Seokmin’s grip. 

Five minutes pass before he asks you, gently whispering in your ear, “Are you okay?”

“Yes.” You slowly turn around and face him. You’re awfully close to him, and as you stand on the higher staircase, you’re eye-to-eye with him. “I’m so sorry you had to see that, Seokmin-ah.”

“No, Noona. I’m just upset thinking of what would happen if I hadn’t come up with you here tonight.”

“No, don’t be. He’s… harmless. He’s all talk and no action.”

“Has he been here before?”

You bite your lip. You don’t want to tell him things which will involve him deeper into this. He doesn’t know anything, he’s a complete stranger to it all, and yet, he is right, you do feel safe around him. But that doesn’t mean you burden him any further.

“Seokmin-ah, I don’t want you to get worried about this. I can take care of myself, it’s just Hyungwon. Like I said, he’s only bark and no bite.”

“Noona-”

“I’ll be fine, honestly! I’m sorry you had to see all this happen.” 

He opens his mouth to say something, but then he becomes silent again. 

“Do you want to come in-”

“No, Noona. I’ll just leave. I won’t take any more of your time. Have a good night, Noona.”

“Seokmin-ah, pl-”

“Goodnight, Noona. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

And then he walks away, and you’re left there, unarmed, uneasy and all alone, swimming in your own thoughts. You feel like you should run after him like in the movies, and stop him from leaving, but your legs feel like lead. There’s a sinking feeling in your heart and a sense of emergency, and it’s not because your ex-boyfriend came up to your door asking for money to waste again.

_

You don’t go to school the next day. The day after that is a Saturday, thankfully a holiday, and you can spend a day moping in regret, stuffing popcorn into your face and pretending like you’re not an adult anymore and you can live without worrying about responsibilities and keep time standing still. 

It doesn’t work. 

Sohee arrives to your door on Sunday morning, sunglasses perched on her head. “Where have you been, sweetie?” She doesn’t wait for you to respond and shoves herself into your flat. 

“Nowhere, Sohee.”

“You’re pouting, your bed isn’t made, and I can smell caramel popcorn. Something’s up. Tell me, baby.”

She sits down on the couch, pulling you down next to her, and taps twice on your shoulder prompting you to spill. So you do spill. 

You tell her every thought that has crossed your mind these last 48 hours. How Seokmin confessed that he likes you. How you’d turned him down instantly. How Hyungwon had turned up at your door and ruined the night after the party. How you’d practically shooed Seokmin away although he’d been nothing but protective and helpful to you. How you’d wallowed in regrets since then, having realised that you’re such a coward. 

“Yeah, you are a coward. In what right mind would you turn down Seokmin when you’re so down bad for him?”

“Huh?”

“Dummy. You can’t even realise your own feelings, and you act like you’re so mature. Age is truly just a number,” she sighs before digging into your bowl of popcorn. 

“I don’t… I don’t have feelings for Seokmin.”

“What makes you think so?”

“He’s… he’s just a hoobae.”

“So are Chan and Soonyoung and Seungkwan. Why do you always blush when you talk to Seokmin, even if it’s over something as mundane as lunch? Why do you so often go to his classroom and aid him in his lessons during your free periods, even though he doesn’t necessarily ask for it? Why do you talk more to him than to your other hoobaes?”

You stay silent for a second. 

“Y/N-ah, think carefully about this.”

“I shouldn’t think of him in this light… he’s so much younger.”

“You’re just three years older than him, Y/N! Stop acting like you’re so old!”

“But…”

“Oh fuck, this isn’t about age, is it? You feel like you’re going to be to him what Hyungwon became to you? Predatory?”

You’re left silent again. Sohee understands from your (lack of) actions, and jumps across the couch to hug you. “Oh, Y/N-ah. Stop beating yourself up for that. It’s been so, so long. Stop blaming yourself for something that’s not even your fault.” 

“But Seokmin deserves better, don’t you think?”

“And you deserve better than beating yourself over an ex like Hyungwon. You deserve a second chance at love too, baby.” She hugs you tightly, and you don’t know when tears have started rolling down your cheek.“I’m a coward, Sohee. I can’t get the courage to even accept my feelings.” “Then let Seokmin help you. Honestly, with the way he always looks at you like you spin his earth and you’re his god, I don’t think he’ll have any issues waiting for you to realise your feelings.” You blush and hide your face in her neck at her sly words. She’s too outspoken for her own good. 

“What if it’s just a crush for him, that’ll pass soon? There’s not much about me that will keep him interested in me after a few months.”

“You’ve got to stop being so pessimistic. Again, just because one guy was stupid and decided to rip off your hard-earned money and your blind trust in him, doesn’t mean another guy will! I’ll say it again, you deserve a second chance!”

The doorbell rings right then. You get up to open the door, to find a letter on the doormat. 

“It’s from the local police station.” You pick it up and show Sohee, who’s equally confounded as you are. “Well, open it, girl!” 

It’s a letter stating a level one restraining order has been requested for your protection against Chae Hyungwon, who has repeatedly disturbed you while drunk, and demanded money for illegal gambling purposes. 

And the request has been made from Lee Seokmin.

“So you just have to sign it and that’s it? Hyungwon out from your life forever?”

You nod, unable to reply, you’re still shocked by the letter. So is Sohee, it seems. Because all she can manage is, “Wow. Y/N, you’ve gotta marry him.”

“Who?!”

“Seokmin, of course. If this is his level of devotion-”

“You don’t think this was unnecessary?”

“Y/N, are you for real? He’s literally looking out for you and doing what you should’ve done ages back, and you think he’s overstepping boundaries? He’s one gem of a person seeing that he’s doing all this without even you prompting him and even after you literally rejected his confession.”

You take a deep breath. She’s right. She’s so right that your heart hurts and you want to bend down on your knees because your body feels limp. How much more does Seokmin have to give you for you to be able to start giving back to him? One voice in your head chastises you. Love isn’t quid pro quo! You fight back. Fair. But at least you’ve started admitting it is love. The voice laughs at you, leaving you vulnerable. 

“Well, he said yes.”

“What?” You spin your head to look at Sohee who’s holding your phone in her hand. 

“Seokmin. He said he’ll meet you at the park near school. In about an hour.”

“Did you just text him from my phone?”

“I did, for your own good. Because if it were up to you, you would have overthought yourself into a hole you’d dig for yourself and not made a move at all even when he’s literally played all his cards and proved his commitment.”

“Aishh, you’re so annoying,” you playfully shove her. 

“Your annoying friend just wants to see you happy,” she pouts cutely, and you laugh at the face she’s making. 

“Okay, now go get dressed. You have to finish this game now, Y/N. I’ll drop you to the park.”

_

When Sohee drops you a little far away from the park, kissing your forehead and wishing you fighting!, you find Seokmin already sitting on a bench on a relatively empty side of the park. He looks up at you as you get closer, and you wave at him. You feel so timid, so nervous, just walking up to him, his handsomeness hitting you with full force as you see him in more casual clothes than ever before, knowing that this man, this beautiful man likes you. And he wants you, and he’s proved how far he can go to care for you, even when you’ve rejected his care.

“Noona, how are you? We were worried after you called your day off on Friday.”

“I’m sorry… I wasn’t sick or anything.” You laugh awkwardly. “Just, taking some time to ponder over things myself.”

“Oh.” He sits down on the bench, the loose end of his checked shirt gently swaying in the breeze. 

“And I regret how I acted that night. I’m sorry for being so harsh-” he starts to say something, but you gently put a finger on his hand, and that makes him shush. “I’m not just talking about Thursday night. I’ve been harsh to you ever since the beginning of the year. You’ve been nothing but kind and generous to me. But… time has made me unnaturally wary and I find it so hard to accept attention or even kindness easily. Thus, time and again I’ve pushed you away, yet you’ve kept coming back. It’s true that I didn’t realise your intentions earlier, but I know, deep down in my heart, that I’ve liked you too for quite some time.”

His eyes are wide, and you move an inch closer to him on the bench.

“I thought it was silly, to have a crush on a man so obviously young like you. I’m thirty now, turning thirty-one in a few weeks. I’ll always be older than you, less energetic, more boring and to be honest, I think it’s not even age but just experience which has made me like this. And I denied myself your attention because I thought you deserved better. And I still do. You sent a restraining request to the police on my ex-boyfriend on my behalf. You… you’ve gone out of your way so many times, even when I’ve been so harsh with you. You’re the one who’s precious, you’re made out of stardust. I’m just a broccoli that’s stacked in the corner of the fridge because no one wanted to eat me when I was fresh and no one should eat me now because now I’m stale.”

“That’s a ridiculous comparison. Even Soonyoung comparing himself to a tiger is better than you comparing yourself to a broccoli.” He finally says, and you laugh before you realise it. 

“Stop calling yourself old, Noona. Three years of an age difference isn’t a big deal. If the reason you’re holding yourself back is Hyungwon-ssi…”

“It is, I won’t lie. Hyungwon and I started dating when we were in college. We were so good, for so long. Until the pandemic came and took his job. That’s when he started getting into these bad habits. He took to gambling, and to stop him, I enrolled him into an evening college, hoping he’d get more productive and use the time we were stuck at home to get himself more educated and get a better job soon. It turned out he was wasting all my money on gambling, again. Every fees I’d paid to him had actually gone down the drain at a local club. And he even had the audacity to refuse me when I told him I want to break up with him.”

“Well, but he eventually did. That didn’t stop him from coming to my doorstep ever three or four months, asking for cash. Sometimes I’d drive him away, sometimes I’d give in if I was too tired to argue with him and if he was sober and dangerous.”

“Would you have given him money that night… had I not been there?”

You look down at your hands in shame. “I may have. I don’t know.”

“Do you still have feelings for him, Noona? It’s okay if you do have feelings, you know.”

“God, no. I don’t have feelings for him. It’s just that… we were together for seven years. We’ve grown up together. Seeing him in a pitiful state like that makes me sad. And I hope each time, that this will be the last time he’s at my door asking for money.” You look away, too ashamed to look at Seokmin. But he uses a hand to gently grip your chin and turn your head towards him. 

“You’re too kind for your own good, Noona.” You blush at the proximity, and the gentle way he’s touching your face. “This is why I like you. Because you’re so human in a world where everyone is plastic. I don’t like you because you’re a sunbae I want to impress. I don’t like you because boys like me find older women hot. Well, I do find you hot-”

“Seokmin!” You haven’t heard someone call you hot in so long, and it makes your skin burn. 

He giggles, and slowly flattens his palm to cup your cheek. 

“I think the restraining order should do the trick, then. He’ll not harass you any longer.”

“Thank you. You’ve been brave when I’ve been a coward.”

“That’s what makes us a good team, Noona.” 

You finally make eye contact with him, gazing into his doe-like brown eyes which are crinkled at the edges with a hint of a smile and wide with hope. 

“Your eyes are so pretty, Seokmin-ah. Just like the rest of you. Especially your heart.”

“It’s pretty because it belongs to you, Noona.”

You blush harder, and turn your face away from him. “I’ll not like you any more if you’re cheesy like this.”

“But it feels good to make you blush like this. How dare you compare yourself to a broccoli, huh? You have no idea what you do to me- when you enter any room, you light it up with your aura, you make it so much warmer, so much brighter. And then a fucking broccoli?”

“Stop! I didn’t mean it to be so deep. It’s just what I ate for lunch because that’s all I had in my fridge.” He giggles again, and you giggle along with him. You realise you’ve both moved closer to each other on the bench, until your thighs are touching. 

“Then you’ve got to have lunch again. No one should exist by eating just broccoli.” 

“With you?”

“If you’d like that.” He cups your other cheek with another hand, and you can feel your skin on fire. His eyes are gently inching towards your lips so you slowly close your eyes. “If you’re going to kiss me, know that I don’t have much experience in that. I’ll be your hoobae in that regard, sunbae.” You hear a soft giggle, and the kiss doesn’t arrive, so you open your eyes again, just to see him blush all over. “God, you’re so pretty, Noona. I could look at you all day.”

“How about you tell me when you started liking me?”

“Umm, I think that time you came to eat lunch with us for the first time? I think it all started with me just trying to get you to eat meals on time. Good girls don’t skip meals, as I heard someone once say,” you playfully hit his chest lightly, and he laughs. “I don’t know, maybe it was before that. But that afternoon, I realised my crush on you was so serious. I was getting tingly all over every time our shoulders touched.”

“Oh! Well, thank goodness it wasn’t just me.”

“Really? From so long ago? Oh, Noona, if you’d just told me earlier…”

“Shh!” You giggle, “I didn’t even realise anything. I was just desperate to get you to forgive me.”

“But I was never angry at you. I could never be.”

You smile again, and he pulls you closer until your entire body is touching him. “So are you giving me a chance, Noona?” 

“Yes. I like you, Lee Seokmin, and I’m still shocked that you like me, after everything you’ve had to see.”

“Well, I do. I like you so much that I might be seeing stars over your head every time you come into my line of sight.”

You giggle again, your insides turning to mush. “Will you be my girlfriend, Y/N Noona?” His voice is, oh, so soft, like a melody. And his eyes so earnest, like an autumn leaf. “I’d be very honoured to, Seokmin-ah.” “May I kiss you?” You feel yourself getting red with anticipation as you quietly nod your consent. 

And so he kisses you. Like your very own Prince Charming, he kisses you, one hand on the back of your neck, and the other cupping onto your cheek, first gentle and slow, and then a little more passionate, as you pull him closer by holding on to his slender waist. “Fuck, Noona. You taste so sweet,” he says while taking a breath, and then attacks your face all over by placing tiny pecks all over your nose, cheeks and forehead. “I like you so much, I think I might die from it.” You laugh once again at his words, unable to say anything else because he’s effectively shut you up through his incessant kisses. When he finally moves his face away from yours, his 1000 watt signature smile bright on his face, you say to him, “Not before we have lunch together, though.”

a/n: read the stories of the other three boys here! lmk your thoughts <3

tagging: kokoiinuts

[thesparkling-diamond27]

Hi!! I was wondering if I could submit a Fiyero x female!reader request where reader is having an “off” day cause miss girl forgot to do her laundry and has no clean uniforms to wear for uni (rip☠️ but also real lol). So she has no choice but to wear her comfy, casual clothes the whole day and while reader’s lowkey self-conscious about it, Fiyero is just staring at her, complimenting while slyly flirting nonstop, but also trying to reassure her of how naturally beautiful she is even without needing to dress up🥰 Thank you love!!🩷

Something Bad or Maybe Something Good

Fiyero Tigelaar x Reader

A/n: This is my first request so I hope I expanded your idea to your liking. I was already writing another Fiyero one shot that was based off of a song from Wicked so I figured I would kind of stay on theme with another song from wicked because my other one shot is called dancing through life. I hope you like it!

Something bad is happening in Oz! Something terrible. I never thought this day would come, but it’s finally happened. It’s the day I have no clean clothes to wear!

Back at home I’m so used to having my clothes washed and folded by one of my maids, but ever since arriving at Shiz I’ve been having to do my own laundry myself and I never knew how much work it could be until now.

For me it takes up the whole day with the amount of clothes that I have, so I designated Sundays to be my laundry day. However, yesterday my friend won two tickets to see Wizomania in Emerald City and how could I say no! It’s Wizomania!

My friend and I spent the whole day in Emerald City and we had the best time of our lives. However, by the time we got back to our dorms it was late and I still had to finish last minute homework. I realized that I didn’t do my laundry, but I figured I would have at last one clean outfit left to wear for tomorrow.

Now it’s tomorrow and I don’t have a single outfit to wear! I wanted to cry and crumble to the floor, but I kept myself together. I just have to wear my other clothes I thought.

I opened a nearby luggage, filled with clothes I wore just in case I was doing something that involved filth or if I was simply lazy (but I usually only wore these clothes at home in the Upper Uplands where only my family and housekeepers can see me).

No one in Shiz had ever seen me in an outfit as plain as this and it makes me feel extremely self-conscious. I am known in school for always having my outfits put together and dressing over the top all day every day. I take fashion really seriously and it’s the only way I like to present myself.

The thought of walking through the halls of Shiz in this drab outfit makes me want to not go to school altogether. But I can’t do that. I have a reputation to uphold as a student for my professors and for the rest of the students at Shiz.

I pulled out a grey t-shirt and blue sweatpants that said Shiz on the pant’s leg in white writing. I can’t even remember the last time I wore sweatpants, but at least I would have school spirit. I found a plain navy blue sweater that could elevate my outfit a little bit, but not by much. At least my outfit will match my mood today, because I am not happy with these circumstances. Something bad is definitely happening in Oz.

I quickly did my makeup for the day. I didn’t apply a full face of makeup like I usually do, because I’m simply not in the mood for it today. I only applied lipgloss, and mascara, so I hope no one notices, but who am I kidding they probably will. Or maybe they’ll be too focused on my atrocious clothes instead of my makeup. I wanted to cry again, but I held it in. I couldn’t ruin the little makeup I currently had on.

I checked the time and realized I only had five minutes before Dr. Dilamond’s class started. Now I had no time to style my hair! I quickly pulled my hair into a messy bun with a nearby claw clip and I scrambled around my room for my books before running out of my room. I was not having a good start to my day.

I turned the corner at the end of the hallway, almost at Dr. Dilamond’s classroom, when I bumped into a body. I fell backwards and my books and papers fell out my hands and onto the ground.

“I am so sorry! I didn’t see you there.”

I looked up and was met with Fiyero Tigelaar the school’s heartthrob. Great, I look like this in front of the school’s most sought out bachelor. I hope he doesn’t think any differently of me now that I look like this.

I always thought he was good looking, but I never thought he would go for someone like me. I’m not saying I’m ugly, or anything but I don’t think I’m the type of girl he would want.

“It’s okay I wasn’t looking where I was going.” I said.

I began to collect my books from the floor when I saw a set of hands begin to help me. Fiyero crouched down to the ground and began to collect my scattered papers. I stared at him until he picked up the last paper and handed the stack back to me.

“Thank you.” I said quietly.

“Of course, anything for you beautiful.”Fiyero said with a wink as he stood up. I didn’t say anything back. I was still shocked that Fiyero was actually talking to me and I felt a little embarrassed that he is seeing me dressed like this. In such a contrast to how I usually am.

Usually I am in a perky mood and I always have a smile on my face, but today I was the exact opposite. No happy mood. No smile.

Fiyero extended his hand for me to grab, so he can pull me up. I took it hesitantly and let him guide me, but I think he might have underestimated his strength because as soon as I was on my feet I collapsed into his chest.

Our faces were inches apart. Our noses almost touching. And for a split second I forgot everything and everyone around us. It was as if I was under his spell. I was close enough to look into his deep blue eyes and see flickers of aquamarine and even emerald green. Something I wouldn’t have noticed if I wasn’t so close.

He then gave me his iconic charming smile before saying.

“Well this is cozy.” Maybe he didn’t underestimate his strength after all.

His words lifted me from his spell and I noticed that since he was so close to my face he had a front row seat to my makeup less face. I backed away from him, but I couldn’t go far because his hand was still grasping on to mine as if he didn’t want me to go.

This is when he finally took a good look at my appearance. Me in a t-shirt paired with Shiz sweatpants and a messy bun. I waited for him to say something about my attire, but instead he gently stroked the side of my hand with his thumb.

I looked up at him and he didn’t say anything, but his eyes did. I looked into his eyes and it seemed like he was consoling me. As if he was telling me it’s okay to dress comfy every one in a while. Your clothes won’t change how I think about you. How I see you.

He stroked my hand for a few more moments before he pulled it away and cleared his throat. “Let’s go to class sweetheart.”

Fiyero walked down the hallway and I would have stood there frozen analyzing the whole interaction if he didn’t turn around and say.

“Are you coming?”

I nodded and quickly followed him to Dr. Dilamond’s class. The walk was silent, but it wasn’t awkward. Occasionally I would catch Fiyero sneak glances at me, but it was probably because he was staring at my clothes that were quite different compared to my usual school atire. We approached the classroom door and Fiyero let me enter first.

“Ladies first.” He said gallantly.

I gave him a small grateful smile before I braced myself to enter the classroom. I immediately felt everyone’s eyes on me the minute I walked in and it was not the way I wanted them too. Everyone had shocked expressions on their face and would occasionally whisper to their neighbor about what they were seeing.

I wanted to run out of the classroom, but I felt a hand ground me as it found the small of my back. I felt a hand on my shoulder and then Fiyero whispered.

“Don’t let their remarks change who you are. Your clothes are just clothes. They’re expendable, but you are special darling. You look beautiful.”

I blushed at his words and thank god my back was to him because then he would have witnessed my rose tinted cheeks. I took in the words he told me. He thought I was beautiful and even in such dull clothing. Did he really mean that?

Dr. Dilamond walked into class, so I decided I would have to ask him later after class. I took a deep breath and found my usual seat with my friends. What I didn’t realize was that Fiyero abandoned his usual seat, all the way across the room, and followed me.

I stared at him as he chose to sit a few seats down from me. He turned around and gave me a smirk before turning to the front to face Dr. Dilamond. My friend nudged me and asked, “What was that about?” Referring to Fiyero.

But I couldn’t answer her. I was completely baffled as well.

About halfway through class I was starting to get bored. I ripped out a page and made a fortune teller. I drew a vase of flowers in the corner of the room. I balanced a pencil above my lips. Now I was simply just staring out the window. The sun got a little too bright, so I looked off to the right and suddenly my eyes drifted to Fiyero who already had his eyes locked on me. Startled, I jumped up and my pencils flew off my desk. I stood up abruptly and scrambled to try and pick them up.

“Miss Y/n are you alright?” Dr. Dilamond asked.

I picked up the last remaining pencil and set it on the table.

“Yes I am. I was just startled, but I’m fine.”

I was completely embarrassed that I made such a spectacle in class.

“Good. I’m glad you are alright. Now…”

Dr. Dilamond continued to teach and I looked back at Fiyero. He was still looking at me. He gave me a wink before he turned back to Dr. Dilamond.

Now I definitely needed to talk to him after class because now he was blatantly staring at me for no reason. But why? Why has he took a sudden interest in me? Why has he been so reassuring all morning? Is he maybe interested in me? Does he actually mean what he’s saying? No that can’t be true.

I felt a tap on my shoulder and the boy sitting next to me passed me a note. It was a small piece of blue paper that was folded to conceal what was written. Curiously I unfolded the paper and read.

“I’m sorry I startled you. That was not my intention. I just couldn’t help, but stare at you. You looked so ethereal with the sun hitting your face. You looked like an Angel. Well you are an Angel.”

I looked up at Fiyero and just as I suspected he was already staring at me. Probably wanting to see my reaction and awaiting my response. I turned the piece of paper over and simply wrote

“I don’t believe you. Why do you keep saying these things?”

I folded it back and handed it back to the boy next to me. He passed it along and so on and so on until the paper landed back into Fiyero’s hands.

Fiyero unfolded the paper and looked back at me. He did nothing flirty or cheeky and instead he turned around and grabbed a new piece of paper to write his response. He was quick with it and eventually the piece of paper was handed to me. I discreetly opened it up and read.

…

Three dots? Three dots? What does that mean?

“That’s enough for today. Class dismissed.” Dr. Dilamond said.

I grabbed my books and quickly tried to get to the exit, so I could catch up to Fiyero. I needed to know what his intentions were and what those three dots meant. I got to the hallway and couldn’t find him anywhere. Great I lost him I thought.

Then a hand grabbed mine and pulled me away to the opposite direction. It was Fiyero and he began to drag me away from the hallway of classrooms and outside to the courtyard. I thought he wanted to talk there, but instead we walked up the stairs to the library. However, we passed by that too, so I guess he didn’t want to talk there either.

We walked a little further to a secluded area where there was plenty of different colored glass arranged to be art. There were blue glass tiles glued to the walls to create designs and glass circles that were pink, orange and green acting like mirrors.

I stepped in front of the green circle mirror and I could see the reflection of the area and Fiyero, but all in green. I turned around and reached up to spin the array of glass shards that were hung and arranged on the ceiling to act like a chandelier.

“This place is beautiful.” I finally said.

Fiyero smiled. “It is isn’t it. But not as beautiful as you.”

I blushed at his words and this time he actually saw it. He seemed satisfied with my reaction because he smirked before continuing.

“I found this place when I was running away from Madame Morrible. She didn’t find me.”

“Should I even ask?” I asked jokingly.

“No.”

The both of us broke into laughter. As soon as our laughs died down I cut right to the chase.

“I wanted to talk to you.”

“About?”

But I could tell he already knew what I was referring to.

“About today. Why are you acting like this?”

“Acting like what my love?”

“Like that! Calling me my love, beautiful, angel, darling. Why all the pet names?”

“Because I’m telling the truth. You are my love. You are beautiful. You are an angel. You are my darling.”

He took a step closer to me.

I tried my best to hide how much his words have affected me, but I couldn’t tell if I did a good job.

“And the staring. Why were you staring at me all throughout class?”

“Like I said in the note. I couldn’t help it. You looked so ethereal.”

He took another step.

“Speaking of the note. Why did you write three dots on that piece of paper?”

“Because I wanted to continue our conversation.”

Now we were standing face to face. He grabbed my hand and stroked it with his thumb like he did before. Except this time he placed a kiss on the back of my hand.

“Because I saw how you were this morning. I saw the self-doubt and insecurities written all over your face. It didn’t take me long to realize why.”

He wrapped his other arm around my waist and pulled me up against his chest.

“I simply wanted to stop whatever delusions you had in your head. You are drop dead gorgeous my dear. Especially now.”

I ducked my head at his compliment and looked at the shiny gold buttons on his suit jacket instead.

“You’re lying. I’m wearing such awful and dull clothes today, I’m barely wearing any make up, and my hair is not styled and it’s just a mess! I do not look beautiful right now and I don’t feel it either.”

Fiyero let go of my hand and lifted my chin with his finger. My eyes met his and they were filled with love and admiration. Love and admiration that I don’t deserve.

“You’re the one who’s lying here Y/n.”

That was the first time he used my real name all day, so I could tell he was being serious.

“You’re magnificent.”

He grabbed my hand again and kissed the back of it.

“Iresistible.”

He kissed my cheek.

“Stunning.”

He kissed the top my head.

“And bewitching.”

And with a swift movement of his hand he pulled the claw clip from my hair and my hair fell down to my back. He attached the claw clip to a strap on his suit jacket.

“Your appearance today has only proven how beautiful you truly are. Right now I’m looking at your natural beauty without all of your clothing and extra accessories getting in the way. I’m not saying your clothes and makeup are unnecessary because I know how much they mean to you, but you can hold back every once in a while and let yourself relax. You don’t have to be dressed up all the time. We all have our off days and sometimes it’s okay to wear comfortable clothing.”

Somehow Fiyero was able to capture exactly how I was feeling in just a few sentences and for the first time ever I felt seen. No one has ever been able to read me as easily as Fiyero has. Not to mention that he barely even knows me and that this is our first proper conversation. But it still doesn’t explain the real reason why he thinks I am beautiful and making sure that I know it.”

“Why are you making it your mission to remind me?”

“Because I’m interested in you. I’ve had my eye on you for a while. I’ve been thinking about how I could approach you and today was my lucky day because you ran into me. And if you give me the chance I will make it my mission everyday to remind you just how naturally beautiful you are inside and out.”

My breath hitched at his words. He knows exactly the right words to say and he actually makes me believe it. All day I couldn’t even stand to even look at myself, but somehow Fiyero made me feel beautiful. Even in my sweats and t-shirt he makes me feel pretty. Then I repeated the first words I said to him earlier today.

“But what if I don’t deserve to be reminded.”

Fiyero looked taken aback by my words, but a fire of determination blazed in his eyes.

“Then I’ll tell you how much you deserve to be reminded everyday until you believe me. And even then I’ll still tell you every day how much you deserve to know how gorgeous you are.”

Tears welled up in my eyes. No has ever made me truly feel special until now. I’ve had my occasional admirers here and there, but never anyone genuine.

“Thank you.” I said with a smile.

“You’re welcome princess. And I understand how you feel. I struggle with the same problem in a different way. But we can overcome it together.”

“Together.”

Fiyero smiled warmly at my response. He grabbed a piece of my hair and placed it gently behind my ear. Then he cradled my face with his hand and placed a whisper of a kiss on my lips.

My day might have started with something bad, but I was left with something good.

[marasmadness]

You Were Never Not Mine

Emily Prentiss x fem!reader x Elle Greenaway

KINKTOBER FIC #2 (thank you for bearing with me)

Based on request for Emily & Elle x brat!reader with gags and vibrators.

CW: dom!Emily x switch!Elle x sub!femreader, punishment, brat taming, alcohol, vibrators, gags, cockwarming, spanking, dumbification, pet names, age gap, glimpses and hints of aftercare

Elle spun around in her chair, sensing you lingering in the doorway of her home office almost instantly. She crossed her legs and looked up at you through her painted mascara-painted lashes. “You want something.”

You sauntered in, leaning against her desk, still covered in work. ”Nope, just came in to say hello. Whatcha working on?”

She closed her laptop slightly, resting her elbows on the wooden desktop. “Prepping for an upcoming trial.” She waved her hand at the stacks of old court cases and other papers strewn across her desk. You wandered over toward her bookshelf, running your fingers across the shelves. Both Emily and Elle had offices in the house, but Elle worked in hers much more frequently, while Emily preferred to spend late nights at the office.

Elle’s style presented itself through her office. Awards littered the top shelf, and old law school textbooks were lined up across the bottom. She had a handful of pictures of herself beside you, Emily, or both. Her degrees were framed behind her desk, and on the opposite wall hung a wide variety of feminist figure posters. All her casework cluttered a good portion of her office but was neatly stacked, and she could find any paper she was looking for within a minute. She kept a singular fake plant on her desk, a gift from you since neither she nor Emily could keep a plant alive to save their lives.

“I have an idea,” you announced, circling back to right beside Elle. “How about we go out tonight?” You bit your bottom lip, swinging your legs back and forth as you sat on the armrest of her chair.

Elle gave you a look, scoffing playfully. “There's no way that’s happening after last weekend. Also, we cannot be out at a club or bar every single weekend. Not all of us are 23.”

“Oh, come on, neither of you look a day over 23.” You teased cheekily, sliding off the edge of the chair to straddle Elle’s lap.

She grabbed your hips forcefully, tugging your legs tighter around her waist. “Oh, really? Emily’s gray hair begs to differ. And I’m pretty sure most of her newest silver threads are from trying to rein you in last weekend."

“Oh, come on, I wasn’t that bad. We had fun!”

“Mhm, I’m sure Emily thought so too. With having to carry you to the car after you were so drunk, you were insisting that you couldn’t leave with us because you were waiting for your girlfriend to pick you up... The man next to us was ready to call the cops.”

“Minor error on my part, but that’s why we don’t have to tell her! She will most likely be locked up in her office tonight, and she’ll believe you if you tell her we’re going to run a quick errand, Ta-da! Problem solved.

Elle laughed, her tongue swiping across her bottom lip as her chin dropped toward her chest. “Deal, go get dressed; just don’t walk by Emily’s office wearing a skintight dress, or I have a feeling the profiler might just be able to conclude that we’re not going grocery shopping.” She tapped two fingers against your waist, and you scrambled off her, hurriedly exiting the office. Elle tidied up her desk and headed toward the guest room that mostly acted as her girlfriend's office.

…

Elle was waiting for you down by the car, leaning against the driver's side door as she swung the ring of keys around her finger. “You look hot,” she murmured, snaking her hand around your waist as she sauntered around the car to open the passenger side door.

“Why thank you?" You were cut off when her lips roughly messed with yours, her hands on your waist pressing you back against the car. Elle’s hands blindly searched for the handle behind you as her tongue explored the edge of your mouth. Tugging it open, her grip tightened around your body, keeping you attached to the hip before you climbed in.

You usually frequented the same few places, staying within ten minutes of your house in D.C. and preferring familiar atmospheres. Elle placed her hand on your lower back as she guided you out of the brisk cold. A warm rush of heat hit you as you entered and your eyes adjusted to the dim lighting. “Over there, open stools on the left,” she murmured in your ear, centimeters close so that you could hear her over the noise. You weaved through the clusters of people, keeping your focus tuned to where you were headed and not the faces of nearby strangers. You sat down with an excited breath of relief and turned to face Elle as she sat down to your left.

Two drinks appeared in front of you, almost like magic. It was more ominous when you realized it was both the exact drinks you and Elle ordered and that they had to have been mixed before you had even walked in.

The bartender was already half a step away from you but gestured toward the opposite end of the bar. A woman in the last seat in a suit sent them. You tipped your head out around the row of people, curious to spot the woman. Your heart dropped out of surprise, seeing a familiar face. Elle’s chin was tucked toward her chest, a shadow hiding a mischievous grin.

Emily got up slowly, sauntering over toward you. "Hi, babe,” she kissed Elle on the cheek before leaning on the bartop between you. She reached over your shoulder, her breath tickling your skin. Grabbing the stem of your drink glass, she brought the rim to your lips, tilting your chin with two fingers. You took a sip, still frozen in place, as you tried to figure out what was going on.

“Isn’t this what you wanted?” She leaned in to whisper, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear as she pulled away. Elle was in my office within three seconds after you stepped out of hers. It was a cute attempt though. Just don’t try it with a profiler and lawyer.”

Elle raised her glass in Emily’s direction with a chuckle. "Em, I'm thinking she didn’t really care that much if we went out. She just wanted attention. And the best way she could think of to get that was to act like a brat.” Elle cocked her head, studying your reaction, which only told her she had been right.

Emily slid herself off her stool, black heels clicking against the sticky floor beneath her. Snaking an arm around your waist, she guided you up, taking the opportunity to speak teasingly in your ear. “If you wanted us to fuck you doll, all you had to do was ask.” She straightened up without batting an eye. “Alright then, are we ready to go?”

You were hesitant to leave, but Emily’s hand on your lower back steered you in the direction of the door and back out to Elle’s car. The entire car ride was defined by anticipation that felt like teeth sinking into your neck. Emily had grabbed your hand as she entered your apartment, leading you straight to her office. “Sit,” she gestured toward a swivel chair that sat beside her desk. She left the room briefly, quickly returning to toss her jacket over the edge of her chair.

Emily raised an eyebrow at the soft smile you couldn’t keep off your face. “Don’t think you’re getting what you want. Now Elle and I still have work to get done tonight after your little stunt.” Her fingers grasped at the hem of your dress, yanking it up over your head. You shivered as our bare skin pressed against the cold leather of the chair. “Doesn’t mean we can’t entertain ourselves though.” She slipped two fingers beneath the waistband of your lace panties, biting her lip as she tugged the almost see-through fabric down slightly.

You gasped at a new sensation as her opposite hand slipped down to your pussy. The familiar feeling of Emily’s favorite vibrating egg pressed against your clit made your thighs clench. Your breath caught in your throat as Emily’s head dropped between your legs, pressing a taunting kiss to the growing damp spot on your panties before she adjusted the vibrator to a more jolting angle through the fabric.

A soft whimper left your lips as Emily returned to sit at her desk, picking up her phone. You watched curiously as she tapped away, only getting your answer to watch what she was doing when you gasped at the sudden vibrations that she had turned on. You gripped the arms of the chair tightly, trying to stay still. Emily watched you out of the corner of her eye as she started typing on her laptop. The only sign that she was still paying attention to you was the small smirk that had settled on her face.

Every few minutes Emily’s hand swept down to her phone to adjust the level, enjoying the way your teeth sank into your lip to stay quiet. “Shhh,” she stated quietly, lowering the glasses perched on her head down onto her nose. You tried to turn your attention toward her as a distraction, which was a foolish idea. The dark veins in her hand flexed against her mouse as she scrolled through pages of reports. Every few seconds, her tongue darted out to swipe across her bottom lip, or she ran her hands through her hair with a soft sigh.

You were too quickly relieved when Emily stood up, shrugging her blazer off her shoulders into the chair behind her. She tugged on the black silk tie that hung loosely around her neck, pulling it over her head. “Emily please…”

She shook her head with a laugh. “This is a punishment baby. And I need to focus.” Bending down in front of you, she wrapped the tie around your head, gagging your mouth, muffling all sounds. The steady stimulation had become slightly less pleasurable and more of a sting. Every time you came close to coming, you grew slightly quieter in hopes that your desperation would go unnoticed. It never did. Emily continuously stopped the vibrator, letting you groan, then catch your breath before it was buzzing right against your clit again. The tie in your mouth had become damp with drool from the corner of your mouth and slow tears of frustration that rolled down your cheeks.

After what felt like an eternity, Emily closed your laptop, focusing on you as she removed the gag from her mouth. She ran her thumb across your cheek, wiping up a tear.

Emily, please let me come; I’ll be good, promise.” Your voice was breathy and slightly whiny after being edged countless times.

“I know you will because you’ve learned that I like when you beg, but there’s two of us..." She held out her hand toward you, tilting her head across the hall toward Elle’s open office. Her spot behind her desk gave her a perfect view into Emily’s. Your legs were shaking as you stood, and Emily stopped you on the way out. “ Wait-” You turned around, instantly knowing what she wanted. Her palm was outstretched as you placed the panties you had been wearing in her hand, and she pocketed them. “Thank you,” she replied in a playful voice.

Elle smiled as you walked in. Her heels were kicked off underneath her desk, and she sat leisurely with her legs spread. “Come sit doll.” She tapped her thigh with two fingers, her eyes soaking in your naked body. You cautiously approached her with your hands clasped in front of you. She pulled you onto her chair like earlier, but the control you had felt was now lost as you straddled her, who was fully dressed, naked.

Her fingers closed around your wrist, guiding your hand down between her legs. You dragged your hand across the tent in the fabric of her trousers. She was already packing. With a shy tilt of your head, you leaned against her chest while playing with her zipper. “Can I?”

“Of course, love.” You eagerly unzipped her pants, releasing her thick black strap. Her hands gripped your hips tightly, stilling you. “Ah, patience. If I let you sit on my cock, you have to stay still while I finish things up.”

You pouted, draping your arms across her shoulders. “Why couldn’t you finish work while Emily was torturing me?”

Because watching you squirm was a lot more fun, and because you’re a brat.” She shot back, and she lowered your hips, moaning slightly as her cock sunk into your pussy. She left one hand resting on the warm skin of your back while she worked. Occasionally the sound of her typing would briefly cease, and her hand would softly grope your tits before you were feeling needy for her touch again. At one point you attempted to shift slightly, cunt already dripping. A sharp smack hit the flesh of your ass, sound resonating in the empty room. You yelped, dropping your head into the crook of her neck, but she didn’t acknowledge it.

“Okay love, all done.” She brought her hand to the back of your head, running her hands softly in your hair. You could’ve cried out in relief. She laughed lightly at the look on your face and gradually slid you off her strap. Picking you up, she wrapped your legs around her waist, carrying you out. “Little break and some rest, and then we can do whatever you want. If you still want to, we can go gentle.”

You nodded, knowing she could feel it against her shoulder. Emily appeared in front of you with a glass of water. ‘ Drink baby.”

[chelseeebe]

come pick me up.

part one to do you think i have forgotten (about you)

summary: it had always been you and eddie. but one night and a whole lotta unexplored feelings leave you both reeling and you’re not sure if it ever really was you and eddie.

a/n: ermm this is so so long i’m so sorry already LOL i’ve had it in the drafts for so long but i reread it n rlly liked it so i wanna post hehe! side note: there are ZERO pictures of eddie not in that fuckin hellfire shirt D: i can’t have a grown man wearing that now …

loosely based off of the cook/freddie/effy storyline from skins uk if you’ve seen it you’ll know.,,, they’re like in their early twenties n it’s set sometime in the 90s ish tho it’s not rlly mentioned

no use of y/n! smut, 18+. this is more so stevexreader than eddie but they do have a relationship of sorts n it’s a lil’ complicated.

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯ ❤︎ ❤︎ ⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

the sound of a high pitched alarm screaming jolts you awake. still partially in last nights clothes, the grubby feel of makeup on your face. leg slung over eddie’s torso.

you groan, shoving his arm as he’s still very much asleep, ‘shut up,’ grimacing as the noise continues.

he mumbles something, wildly slapping his arm about to turn off the damn thing.

you run a hand over your face, remnants of your black eyeliner on your hand. that horrid taste in your mouth only found after a night of drinking. which seemed to be just about every night at the moment.

‘why’d you set an alarm, you freak?’ rolling over onto your stomach, perched on your elbows, watching as his eyes slowly open, obviously feeling as shit as you did.

‘i have- had class, you freak,’ he grumbles, looking up at you from the pillow, curly hair fanned out around him.

you scoff, ‘like you were gonna go,’ attempting to rub the rest of your mascara off, sure you looked similar to a wild raccoon.

he hums in response, shuffling under the covers to tangle his leg with your yours, ‘you gonna sort this out for me?’ referring to the obvious morning glory tenting the blanket.

‘you gonna ask nicely?’ you respond, snarling at his crudeness.

whatever he was about to say was interrupted with a knock at the door, ‘we’re coming in, you have five seconds to not be naked,’ robin’s voice echoes.

you look up as robin walks into the room, hand over her eyes until steve gives her a small nudge, indicating the coast is clear, ‘oh good-,’ she sniffs, ‘it smells like weed and sex in here, you’re fucking disgusting.’

‘thanks for reminding me,’ eddie leans over, retrieving the half-smoked spliff from last night and lighting the end.

steve’s eyes are firmly on yours, kinda sad and defeated. he had that same look on his face whenever you and eddie were together, which was often.

you’d sort of always had this.. thing with steve. encapsulated by his presence. there was always something unspoken between you and you were never sure if it was because he hated you or not. small glances and touches that seemed to linger just a bit too long.

you’d sorta taken his best friend from him at one point, coming between their friendship suddenly and with no warning.

steve was intrigued by you too. this mystical, unobtainable persona you presented to the world. something he couldn’t crack. just couldn’t quite understand it.

‘we’re getting breakfast, i was going to ask if you wanted to join but i assume that won’t be happening,’ she raises her eyebrows, noticing your severely hungover state.

they liked to party too, just clearly not as much as you and eddie. both of you had no understanding of when to call it a night, egging each other on til the point of no return.

‘i think we’ll give that a miss,’ eddie’s answers for the both of you. steve’s eyes immediately look down, suddenly interesting in the burn marks in eddie’s carpet.

you’d actually met steve first, on the first day of classes in freshmen year. you went over to a sheepish steve, who looked slightly scared, and obviously lost. offering him the directions to his room.

he’d smiled back, introducing himself to you on the way. appreciative of your kindness. you probably wouldn’t have helped if he didn’t look like that, but still, it was nice.

that’s when eddie had bounded over, all hair and denim. loudly taking over your conversation, introducing himself with a smirk, hand already creeping onto your lower back. that’s when steve had nodded towards him and informed you of their already established friendship.

you weren’t really sure when it became you and eddie. well, it wasn’t. not officially. god, you didn’t want official. he was fun to fuck and even better to party with. maybe the fact he dealt had been a factor in solidifying your strange relationship. maybe not.

robin rolls her eyes, ‘right, well you boring fucks can rot in bed all day, suit yourselves,’ ushering steve out of the door, slamming it behind her.

you blink, hating this awful, guilty feeling steve always left in your stomach. you’d tear a guy like him to shreds, maybe it was for the best.

whatever self-wallowing, steve-centric thoughts you had are interrupted when eddie’s arm snakes around your back, pulling you onto him.

‘i still need a little assistance here,’ he grins from beneath you, running his hand down your back, firmly grasping your exposed ass as you clamber on top properly.

you try your damn hardest to push the reflecting image of steve from your mind. though it doesn’t quite work until eddie’s calloused palm softly taps against your cheek, ‘anyone in there?’

you frown, returning the playful slap as you grind mindlessly against him, his fingers digging into the pliant skin of your ass.

‘you can do that again.’

-

eddie hadn’t shut up about his birthday for weeks. you’d all planned to go to the same bar you went to most weekends, except this time everyone had to go and he got to be centre of attention.

he’d been pissing you off all night. obviously far too drunk, jaw clenching from the copious amounts of shit he’d sniffed. hanging from your shoulder, speaking over you and splashing beer down your top as he slurred through his words.

‘i think we’re gonna head home,’ steve speaks up when you exit the bar, eddie already looking for the next place.

‘whaat? you’re fucking boring,’ he pokes a finger into steve’s chest, far too intoxicated, ‘you’re staying out, right?’ he looks over to jonathan, argyle and nancy who also shared an apartment not far from yours.

‘nah man.. it’s late, it’s been fun though,’ jonathan shrugs as nancy finds a taxi to take them home.

‘fuuuck you guys are really ditching me on my birthday? at least you won’t let me down,’ his arm hooks around your shoulder, yanking you into him.

you pull back, which wasn’t particularly hard in his state, ‘get off of me.. can i get a ride with you?’ looking over at steve, his hands cautiously poking out of his pockets.

he nods sheepishly as eddie practically erupts, ‘it’s my fucking birthday, and you fucking losers are going home?’ he’s screeching, throwing his arms around, making a royal scene in the middle of the street.

robin finds a cab willing to take the group of you home, calling you over to the yellow vehicle, ‘eddie let’s just go home, it’s late,’ attempting to coax him into going with you. you’d deal with his shit in the privacy of his bedroom.

he laughs, turning away from you and walking up the dimly lit street, ‘you.. you can get fucked,’ he slurs, disappearing into a nearby bar.

steve stands at the cab door, watching as you frown at eddie’s back. internally deciding whether to give in and follow him or to leave like you’d originally planned.

you let out an exasperated sigh, ‘he can go fuck himself,’ you spit as you slide into the back of the cab. steve follows, shutting the door behind him, flashing you a small cautious look as the cab pulls off.

-

you collapse onto the sofa the second you set foot in the apartment. completely at your wits end with eddie and his the way he spoke to you.

‘i’m going to bed,’ robin announces, slinking into her own room, leaving steve to awkwardly linger in the living room.

you didn’t want to worry about eddie. he was a grown man who could definitely handle his own. besides, why should you when he’d explicitly told you to fuck off?

steve clears his throat before taking the empty seat beside you, ‘he didn’t mean it.. it’s just drunk talking,’ he nods, attempting to reassure you.

it wasn’t as if you were really upset about it all. more so annoyed that you’d let him treat you that way. continually. over and over again.

whatever the fuck was going on between the two of you had started to wear thin. there were only so many times you could put up with his shit before it got tired.

eddie could be a horrible drunk. it wasn’t often but when that version of him came out you’d prefer to be far far from it. he was cruel with his words, venomous as they rolled off his tongue. then you’d get into a screaming match and then either end up hate-fucking or you’d just both never bring it up again.

‘no, he did,’ you sigh, kicking the shoes from your feet with a thud, ‘i don’t care.. really.’

‘right,’ he nods, not totally believing you, ‘y’wanna smoke?’

a small smile creeps onto your face as he reaches for the small black box eddie kept on the table, pulling out a small baggie of weed, something eddie definitely wouldn’t miss. he didn’t even need your reply, beginning to roll up.

-

perhaps you’d smoked a little too much, sputtering on the final toke of your second or third spliff before handing it back to steve. he sits on the other side, an awful lot closer than he’d been originally.

it was quiet, but comfortable. not awkward at all.

‘y’know..’ he speaks up, looking over at you, ‘actually.. nah,’ changing his mind almost immediately.

‘no.. what? what were you gonna say?’ you furrow your brows, vision hazy, the room full of grey smoke.

he sort of chuckles to himself, stubbing the end of the joint out in the glass ashtray before looking at you again, ‘it’s stupid,’ he warns.

‘even better.. tell me,’ you nod, encouraging him to go on.

he pauses for a moment, a tiny smile on his pink lips, ‘i always thought.. well, that you and me were gonna end up together, i thought you liked me for the longest time,’ shaking his head as he looks down.

your heart thuds. a mixture of your high and the unidentifiable emotion coursing through your veins. there was no questions to being with eddie. it was simple, sex and parties. no complicated feelings involved.

but within a second, steve had completely changed everything. a feeling you’d suppressed since your situationship with eddie had started. completely convinced that the odd relationship you had with steve was just because you were banging his best friend.

‘i didn’t.. i didn’t know you felt like that..’ you manage to get out quietly, watching as he slowly stands up, he doesn’t look at you once. too ashamed, embarrassed that he’d just admitted everything to you so easily.

‘well, now you know,’ he says quietly before disappearing into his room.

you linger on the couch for a moment. unsure of what to think of anything he’d just said. whether you should knock on his door and tell him you’d felt the same or just go off to your own room and wait for eddie to crawl in.

it wasn’t as if you felt nothing at all for eddie. you did, of course. but you didn’t love him. not the way you maybe should’ve. not the way you felt about steve, his gentle nature and soft caramel tinted eyes.

you stand from the couch, feet taking control as you walk to his door. a small slither of orange light peaking from underneath. raising your fist to knock but stopping, arguing with yourself. this couldn’t be a good idea.

before you can even convince yourself to knock, the door opens. steve stands on the other side, his own chest heaving as your eyes meet.

‘i-,’ he croaks, but you cut him off with your lips, pulling back just as quickly as you’d moved forwards.

you stare at him for a few moments, swallowing all the courage you’d just worked up.

‘..now you know,’ giving him a meek smile before walking back to your room. you lean back against the door, heart beating a million miles an hour.

-

a repetitive banging sound forces you awake in the morning. hissing as the sounds of an extremely dramatic moan get louder. high-pitched and obviously put on.

it takes a moment for you to realise just where the noise is coming from. eddie’s room backs onto yours. the headboard colliding with the wall at an alarming pace.

you stumble out of bed, throwing on an old dirty sweater and groggily making your way into the living room.

steve sits slumped over the table, looking particularly miserable this morning. despite what had happened last night. you wondered if he’d told robin who sat scowling at the door. steam practically coming out of her ears.

her eyes widen as you appear in the doorway, rubbing the residual sleep from your eyes, eyes flitting between your frame and the wooden door.

‘well shit, i was about to cuss you out,’ she remarks, astonished that you were stood in front of her.

steve’s whole face brightens when he realises you’re stood in front of him and not in the room making those god-awful, oscar worthy noises.

‘if that’s not you.. who the fuck is in there?’ robin gasps, now utterly bemused by the entire situation.

you shrug, choosing the seat opposite steve, making brief eye contact and flashing him a small smile. would he bring up last night? or was it never to be spoken about again?

relief is written all over his face. obviously under the impression that you’d made up with eddie at some point in the night. not once checking that you were in your room.

‘jesus christ i’m gonna kill him,’ robin fumes, sipping on a mug of coffee. her eyes are narrowed, attempting to set the room ablaze with her mind.

‘it won’t last long,’ you add, reaching over to steal a slice of steve’s buttered toast. he lets you, obviously. letting out a soft snort at your joke.

‘nothing is that good,’ robin shakes her head.

the noises quieten, a shrill giggle coming from the hallway as a scantily clad blonde appears in the doorway, closely followed by eddie, sporting a pair of boxers that hid absolutely nothing.

‘that way,’ he groans, guiding the smiling woman away towards the bathroom. his eyes momentarily meeting yours, total venom behind his glare.

robin jumps up, splashing coffee over the floor, ‘don’t you dare think about fucking in my bathroom,’ she warns, chasing after the odd couple.

you can hear an altercation as presumably eddie slams the bathroom door on robin, her fists pounding against the wood, hollering about her new bath mat.

steve glances at you, searching your face for any type of reaction. he doesn't find anything, instead you smile softly as robin re-enters the room, cursing at the bastard freak. she grabs her bag, slinging it onto her shoulder before stomping over to the door.

'i'm going out, let me know when he's done with his weird exhibitionist routine,' slamming the door as she exits, the poorly built walls shaking as she does.

there's a faint sound of running water, obviously coming from the bathroom, closely followed by a series of questionable grunts and groans. you choose to try and block it out, though engaging in conversation with steve at this very moment seemed almost too awkward.

'did you tell robin?' you pipe up, playing with your fingernails as you just about meet his gaze.

'uh.. yeah,' he grimaces slightly, 'i-i just thought.. well i thought that was you this morning, i was.. confused,' apologetic for his blunder.

you nod, 'i don't care.. i just wanna prepare for the inevitable grilling i'm gonna get,' chuckling in an attempt to ease the tension. it works as his lips curl into a small, playing with the discarded crusts on his plate.

the god-awful noises from the bathroom worsen and your eyes are pulled from steve, looking towards the cause. perhaps this was eddie's way of making you jealous. revenge for choosing to go home and not put up with his drunken assholery.

-

you’re sat tracing patterns into the velvet fabric of the sofa, practically shaking as you wait for steve to get back from campus.

he was your friend for fuck sake. why was this so nerve wracking? ask him to hang out, if he says no then so be it. you’ll deal with the awkwardness of your shared kiss alongside eddie’s misguided anger.

he’s later than you’d expected. becoming far too engrossed in the random soap opera on the tv when he does eventually get back. almost forgetting about what you’d got yourself so worked up over.

‘hey,’ waving his fingers as he comes in.

christ, he almost seemed more nervous than you were.

‘hey,’ not wanting to jump down his throat the second he walked in the door, turning the tv off and running your palms down the sofa.

‘spoken to eddie?’ he asks curiously, slinging his bag from his shoulder and slumping down next to you on the couch.

‘nah.. he went out this morning and hasn’t been back,’ you shrug, wishing that he wouldn’t have just bought that prick up.

he nods, looking down at his jeans, finding a loose thread to play with.

‘would yo-,’

‘d’ya wanna-,’

you both start at the same time, stopping to let him continue except he’d done the same thing. sitting in the silence for a brief moment.

you chuckle nervously, ‘sorry, what were you saying?’

‘i was just gonna ask if you wanted to.. maybe do something tonight? if- if you’re not busy,’ shrugging it off, trying his hardest to play it cool.

‘oh,’ laughing softly, the pair of you were like nervy teenagers, comical, ‘i was gonna ask you the same thing.. yeah i’d love to.’

steve grins, transported back to freshman year of high school, trying to find the gall to ask tammy thompson to the fucking movies. it all seemed so childish, innocent, the way you melted around each other.

‘okay.. i’ll get changed, give me five,’ he nods, leaping from the sofa and speeding off to his room.

you bite down onto your bottom lip, trying to contain your smile. kicking yourself for the adolescent excitement it gave you.

-

the bar was packed for a wednesday night, steve shouldering his way through the crowd with you following closely behind. not brave enough to cling onto his hand, wrapping your fingers around his forearm instead.

‘jesus christ,’ he exclaims when he finds a spot just about big enough for you both to stand. you were close. closer than you’d ever been. at least in public.

you hold onto the glass bottle he’d passed you from the bar, ‘d’ya wanna go somewhere else?’

‘what?’ he shouts, the music too loud to hear you properly.

you lean in closer, lips brushing against his ear, the feeling makes your heart pound, ‘you wanna go somewhere else?’

placing his hand on your arm so he could shout back, the mixture of his cologne and beer filling your nose. it was intoxicating, making your head giddy.

‘i’m good if you are,’ wisps of his hair sweeping against your cheek.

you nod, beaming up at him as you take a swig of the harsh beer. the crowd seemingly disappearing from around you as his eyes focus on you, his own smile overcoming his face.

-

okay, perhaps you’d had a little too much to drink. but a little dutch confidence never hurt anyone.

you’re definitely not complaining when you grab his hand on the way out of the bar, quickly intertwining your fingers as he weaves his way to the door. still as packed as when you’d got there.

you giggle as he trips over the step coming into the bar, sending you flying into his back as he regains his balance.

his hand is quick to steady you, resting on your waist. the street light illuminating the gleam of his eyes, slightly glossy from the multiple beers he’d sunk inside.

a drunk student roars past you, snapping you out of the moment, steve’s hand still lingering on your waist. something that would’ve never happened if he were sober.

‘shall we go home?’ you ask, not breaking from his gaze.

he nods, moving his hand to offer it out for you to grab. leading you over to an empty cab, leaning through the front window to talk to the driver.

the drive home is heavy with tension. sitting in silence as steve makes polite conversation with the driver, fingers still wrapped around yours. heart thumping as you near your street.

the apartment dark and silent when you get in, the only light coming from the old fairy lights robin had hung around the room. there’s no hesitation, your hands grabbing his cheeks, smashing your lips to his the second the front door closes.

it takes a moment for him to realise what was happening, hands quickly finding solace on the small of your back when it clicks properly. it’s greedy and desperate, tongue sliding into his mouth, wanting to touch every inch of him.

hands sliding down his chest, grabbing at the fabric, his leg slotting between yours, guiding you backwards. straight into the coffee table with a bang.

you spring apart, eyeing eddie’s room cautiously, saying a silent prayer and hoping he didn’t come out.

steve’s eager to resume, eyes hungry as they flit between eddie’s door and your face.

you pull back completely, taking your lip between your teeth and hooking your finger around his pinky, leading the way to his bedroom. it was the furthest away from eddie’s and made the most sense.

he shuts the door gently, flicking the small bedside lamp on, illuminating the obvious tent in his jeans. your mouth falling open at the sight of it, rubbing your thighs together to try and satiate the growing throbbing.

you’re quick to resume the kiss, moving on him swiftly, connecting your lips in a passionate kiss. he collapses backwards onto the bed, your body falling on top of his chest, hands caressing his cheeks.

the next moment you find yourself underneath steve, pressed into the mattress as he holds himself above you. eager hands finding the short hem of your skirt and sliding underneath on the soft skin of your thighs. you had never seen him move with such confidence before, normally a little shy in the way he carried himself.

his finger hooks into the waistband of your lacy panties, tugging them down to your thighs. his growing erection digging into your core with every movement. moaning into his mouth when his finger begins circling your sensitive clit. this had definitely killed any and all assumptions that he was a virgin.

it’s as if he had been waiting for this very moment for his entire life, sliding his fingers between your folds and into your already soaking hole, your mouth falling from his as your head rolls back onto the pillow.

‘oh my god,’ a breathy moan escaping from your lips as his fingers pump in and out, his other hand causing a dip in the pillow next to your head.

his fingers slip out of you and begin to unbuckle his belt, barely getting them down and around his legs before his cock springs up. bigger than you ever could’ve imagined, mouth hung open as your peer down between your bodies.

your shirt is pulled off over your head so quickly you weren’t sure if you had blinked, landing on the floor alongside his with a soft thunk.

you draw your eyes back up to meet his once more, ‘you’re sure?’ he reaffirms, pupils dilated, wetting his lips with his pink tongue.

‘so sure,’ nodding encouragingly underneath him, readjusting your legs to loosely wrap around his torso. you’d never been more sure of anything in your life.

he returns the nod, positioning himself at your sopping entrance and without breaking eye contact he slides in with a sharp intake of breath. you can’t contain the whimper that collects in your throat, the stretch of his cock taking you by surprise. the sting felt good, like he was always supposed to be there between your legs.

he’s still, waiting for your encouragement to move. you give it in the form of a squeeze on the back of his neck, clinging on to the skin as his hips move slowly. low, hungry grunts roll from his lips, the bed frame creaking in time with his thrusts.

‘fuck,’ you breathe out, taking your bottom lip between your teeth acutely aware that eddie was only a few doors away and could definitely hear the happenings in the room. even if you could manage to stifle yourself, the undeniable sounds of skin against skin would expose you.

‘is that- is that good?’ steve mumbles, moving slow but hitting deep, nudging against your soft spot, already hurtling you towards your orgasm.

‘jesus christ.. yes, yes,’ beginning to buck your hips back against him, feeling the familiar knot in your stomach. finger nails leaving crescent moon shapes in his skin as tears prick in your eyes.

steve groans as his heavy balls slap against the back of your thighs, pushing himself fully inside, ‘i’m not.. hmph.. not gonna last long,’ arm beginning to buckle with the weight of him.

you clench around him as your high topples over at his words, burying your face into the pillow next to you. unable to withhold the high pitched wail from leaving your mouth, barely managing to muffle the sound.

his rhythm falters, hips slamming into yours for the last few desperate pumps before he pulls himself out. thick ropes of cum spurting out and onto his hand. and the bed. and your thigh. crying out as his chest heaves above you.

‘holy shit,’ his arm gives way and he ends up next to you on the mattress, panting for air as he reaches for a dirty shirt on the floor, using the first thing he could find to clean off his hand.

you turn your head to face him, a lazy smile on your face as he offers the shirt out to you, mouthing a small sorry.

he throws it to the other side of the room, running a hand over his damp face, ‘i uh.. i last way longer normally,’ bashful and doubting his performance. it was only because it was you.

‘steve,’ you smile, grabbing his blanket to pull over your body, ‘don’t do that,’ seeing the shy boy from once before, you much preferred the steve from earlier.. confident and sure of himself.

‘yeah.. sorry,’ his lips curling into a soft smile, turning his body towards yours, arm snaking out to pull you closer, clammy palm resting on the small of your back.

you giggle quietly in response, settling in to your new position, sharing the blanket with him.

your eyes don’t leave each other’s as he begins to babble about something from the bar, clinging onto your skin as if you were somehow going to slip away.

-

you hadn’t even realised that you’d fallen asleep in steve’s room.

so when eddie comes in unannounced in the early morning, you thank your lucky stars that you’re facing the wall with steve’s body hiding yours. shoving your face into the pillow to hide yourself, hair sprawled around you, helping your case.

‘yo.. bro,’ he whispers, stepping into the room and over a pile of clothes, ‘good night?’ he cocks his eyebrow at steve as he turns around, glaring at the interruption.

‘uh.. yeah yeah,’ steve panics, realising what eddie had walked into and the chaos that’d ensue if he figured it out, his arm tightens around your waist, pulling you flush against his chest.

‘sounded like it,’ eddie chuckles, shaking his boot to rid it of the discarded shirt on the floor, ‘look, have you got ten bucks? i can give it back tomorrow,’ he bargains, smiling at steve.

‘yeah.. yeah, my wallet’s on the desk,’ steve nods towards the desk, adjusting himself to make sure he was covering you when eddie stomps over to the desk.

ten dollars was a worthy sacrifice to not have to deal with eddie’s temper tantrum in the morning. it wasn’t like he’d never find out. just not now.

‘thanks bro.. i’ll get it back to you tomorrow, hey,’ eddie rubs his stubbly face, ‘d’you know if dickhead’s in? i knocked but, uh.. no answer,’ quite obviously referring to you.

you have to resist the urge to sit up and cuss him out.

‘uhh.. no, no idea sorry,’ steve shakes his head apologetically, lying through his teeth.

‘alright well, have fun,’ wiggling his eyebrows as he exits, closing the door softly.

you exhale when the door clicks shut, though you stay in the same position, not entirely convinced he’s not stood outside the door listening.

‘don’t speak,’ you mouth to steve, who looks wearily at you until the front door closes and you fully turn to face him.

‘jesus christ,’ you breathe, ‘he doesn’t knock?’

‘usually he does.. i bet he wanted to see who was in here,’ his arm twitches, unsure of whether to keep clinging on to your waist or to remove it.

‘i mean,’ you shrug, ‘he’ll found out eventually, right?’ it was inevitable, especially as you were living together.

‘i s’pose.. you don’t care?’ taken aback by your nonchalance towards the situation.

‘not really.. i just don’t think he needs to know, not yet,’ you croak, he had literally just banged another chick practically right in front of you. any guilt you may have felt about the situation had disappeared.

‘yeah,’ he gives you a tired smile, nuzzling his head into the pillow, all soft and sweet.

‘i dunno about you but i’m going back to sleep, until at least lunch,’ your hand running along the curve of his bicep, mere inches away from each other.

he hums in response, his lingering arm pulling your waist closer, eyes drooping as sleep takes over.

-

you’re awoken again by the slam of the front door, robin leaving for work. letting steve know that everyone in the apartment could hear your late night activities.

steve grumbles, complaining about her heavy-handedness. you leer over at the alarm clock, wanting to get out of steve’s room before eddie gets back from work, making sure there were no possible chances of awkward questions this afternoon.

‘shit,’ you hiss, climbing over his still half-asleep body and grabbing whatever t-shirt you could find, pulling it on over your head, ‘eddie’s back in like five.. i’m gonna get out of here now, saves the aggro..,’ slipping into your discarded underwear.

‘right.. good idea,’ he mumbles, one arm folded underneath his pillow as he comes to fully.

you sprint out of there and into the kitchen, pouring a bowl of cereal when eddie strolls through the door, whistling some tune to himself. he glances at you before taking a seat at the cluttered dining table.

you don’t say a word, discarding your plan to sit at the table and instead tucking in to your cereal on the counter, pretending to read some flyer.

‘where were you last night?’ he asks, leaning back on the chair to get a full view of you, ‘i knocked on your door but..’ narrowing his eyes.

‘i was probably fuckin’ asleep,’ shoving another spoonful of cereal into your mouth, making brief eye contact with the man.

he squints, trying to figure out why that shirt was so fucking familiar. was it his? were you wearing his shirt in some weird goading way?

steve emerges from his room, shirtless and running a hand from his messy hair. eddie’s eyes flit between the shirt and steve. cogs slowly turning in his brain.

no. no the shirt wasn’t his.

it was the fucking shirt he’d kicked off of his foot when he’d stormed into steve’s room this morning. same boring design printed on the front.

on you.

from steve’s floor.

the night after steve had, very loudly, had a female friend over.

you’re oblivious, focussing on your bowl of soggy cornflakes as steve clatters around behind you. making his own bowl. neither of you looking at each other, making everything ten times more obvious.

‘you’re fuckin’ joking,’ he loudly proclaims, standing from the table, nearly sending the chair flying backwards.

your head shoots up, confused by what he had seemingly angered himself over now, ‘what?’ eyebrows knitted together as he storms over, mouth hung open in disbelief.

‘you fucked him?’ jabbing his finger at steve, ‘my best friend?’ arms flying around in anger.

you look to steve for some help, eddie positively fuming, his jaw clenched at your lack of an answer. in fact, your reaction, or lack thereof, had only solidified everything.

‘no,’ you eventually croak, ‘i- we-, that wasn’t me,’ stuttering for some excuse, though you know he didn’t buy a word of it.

eddie’s face twists up in a mix of anger and hurt, eyes glossing over as his lips tremble, ‘eddie-,’ steve begins, cut off as eddie storms out of the tiny kitchen, grabbing his wallet from the table and pausing when he opens the front door.

‘you deserve each other,’ he snarls before disappearing, shaking the walls with his violent slam of the door.

you stare at steve in silent disbelief, dropping the spoon into your discarded bowl. you’d predicted his reaction to go something along the lines of that, just not expecting it so soon. hoping to have prepared a solid speech in the meantime.

‘shit.’

‘it’s okay.. h-he was gonna find out eventually.. he’ll calm down,’ steve tries to soothe you, well aware that eddie held onto his anger, let it simmered until it all bubbled over and some poor soul got the brunt of months of rage.

you want to feel bad, feel guilty but when steve’s hand sits on top of yours, giving it a reassuring squeeze, it vanishes. his chestnut eyes providing a sense of comfort you’d never felt before.

-

you were used to eddie being out. missing in action for days on end. but by the fourth day of him not coming back to the apartment, the pit in your stomach starts to worsen.

the guilt had caught up to you, as if you were the one who had shoved him out of the door. you had, in a metaphorical sense.

the first few days were, nice. though you felt worse for even feeling that. but, you’d been hanging out with steve more. it was different to before, getting to know his personal quirks, the things that made him tick. something you would’ve brushed off before.

you were friends, sure. you hadn’t really had the opportunity to get to know him like this before. it would’ve felt like some sort of betrayal to eddie. even though in some ways the way it had come about now was much worse.

on the fifth day, you’re sat on the couch with steve. picking the hangnail from your finger, wincing as it started to bleed.

‘d’you think he might’ve gone home?’ you ask, looking up at steve who was spaced out next to you.

they were from the same small town, had started out sharing classes in high school and had since been friends. admittedly growing apart when you’d come into the picture. you’d heard stories from the others about how close they used to be, never apart, according to jonathan.

‘i dunno.. he hates hawkins,’ steve shrugs, seeing the worry spread across your face, ‘but i could call his uncle? see if he’s there?’

you nod, thumb in your mouth trying to pull off more of the sore skin. he gets up to grab his phone, already dialling the number when he comes back into the room.

‘hey! wayne.. it’s steve- yeah yeah, i’m good man.. i was just wondering if eddie was there? oh no, uh- well.. we haven’t heard from him in a few days, y’know what he’s like… sure, thanks man,’ clicking the button and ending the call.

he looks over at you, a pitying look on his face as he shakes his head no.

‘i’m sure he’s alright.. he’s dramatic, you know that,’ he collapses onto the couch, this time closer than before, nudging your elbow with a weak smile.

you were well versed with eddie’s dramatic personality. having dealt with his temper tantrums and storm outs for years now. though, it had never seemed this bad before.

realistically, you knew he was probably crashing on a friend’s sofa. overstaying his welcome and partying too much. he was likely coming down from some insane party as you sat thinking about him.

‘i just.. feel bad,’ you whisper, leaning into steve’s side. his arm reaches around to your shoulder, rubbing softly against your arm.

‘i know..i do too,’ he admits, you and eddie hadn’t been a romantic thing. not even really a thing, if you were being honest. it was sex and partying, getting completely trashed and using each other in an attempt to fill the void inside of you both.

but steve and eddie had been friends for years now. they’d argued over the stupidest shit but never something like a girl. steve had had to genuinely weigh up whether his friendship with eddie was worth losing.

if eddie couldn’t get over it, would steve be able to repress his feelings for you? or would he be fine with losing eddie if it meant that you were together?

when robin gets back from work, she narrows her eyes at the two of you curled up against each other, ‘is this gonna be a regular thing?’

‘would you have a problem with it if it was?’ you ask, watching as she dumps her back and slumps on the empty seat.

‘oh no, i’m just thinking about how much peace and quiet i’ll get if you and eddie aren’t screaming at each other every day,’ kicking her doc martens from her feet and leaning into the cushions.

‘if he comes back,’ you remind her.

she hadn’t really seemed too fazed when he’d stormed out. thankful for no more early morning wake up calls from his wooden bed frame. but you can tell that even she was beginning to feel at least a tiny bit worried.

‘he still not called?’

you shake your head, ‘no one’s seen him, he’s not home.. i guess we’ve just gotta wait til he’s calmed down,’ shrugging, more so trying to convince yourself rather than her.

no matter what, eddie had a special place in your heart. even if it wasn’t love in the romantic sense, there was too much there to disregard that. he was your best friend at one point, how could you?

it’s another five days of fretting and concern before you hear a word from him. your phone rings in the middle of the night and you sit up, feeling along the nightstand for the buzzing plastic. an unrecognised number.

‘hello?’ you speak into the receiver.

steve stirs, waking up at the sound of your voice. admittedly, you’d been sleeping in his bed. sharing kisses and late-night chats about just about everything. it all felt very quick, but just right. like now that’d you’d both realised that you could have this, that anything other than this felt wrong.

‘hi,’ eddie’s voice rings out, recognisable even through the phone.

‘eddie? you’re okay? where are you?’ you babble, steve sits up at the mention of his name.

‘i’m uh- with my dad, i just, listen.. i need you to bring me some shit.. we’re going away and i’ve got nothing with me,’ his voice crackles and you can hear him shift around in the payphone box.

‘what? you’re going where? where are you?’ baffled, unsure if you were still asleep and not understanding him.

‘away, i’m staying in porter.. look, can you do it?’

‘eddie that’s-,’ but you stop yourself, ‘yeah, sure.. when?’

‘tomorrow, i just need some clothes, my watch and my savings.. they’re under my mattress.. tiny box, you’ll see it,’ he rushes, running out of minutes.

‘o-okay, where shall i meet you? i don’t know it well,’ you garble, nodding at steve when he mouths a confused porters?

‘little bar called sam’s.. i’ll be in there, i’ve gotta go, this thing’s running out,’ he sighs, muttering a small, ‘thank you,’ before the line goes dead.

‘he’s at the fucking beach.. wants me to drop some shit for him.. he said he’s with his dad? i-i thought his dad left..?’

‘he did,’ steve looks puzzled, taking the phone from your clutch and looking at the withheld number, trying to figure out if he could call it back, ‘he left years ago..’

-

eddie’s smile falters when he notices that you’d bought steve and robin along. steve dropping your hand the second his eyes meet eddie’s.

‘what the fuck are you doing here?’ the chair scraping the wooden floor as he stands abruptly.

the man you can only assume is his dad looks over, gripping onto the beer bottle, eyes flitting between his son and your trio.

‘eddie.. i asked them to, we wanted to know if you were okay,’ your voice shakes, frowning when he scowls at you. you’ve pissed him off, again.

‘i called you because i trusted you, not him,’ he spits, walking over to where you were stood by the door, ‘where’s my shit?’

‘it’s in the car,’ quickly coming up with a lie, trying to keep him talking for as long as possible, ‘i need to talk to you.. before you.. leave,’ you pout, trying to get him away from his dad.

‘about?’ he hits back harshly, still upset that you’d even dared to bring steve along.

‘about.. everything,’ you exhale shakily, ‘give me five minutes, please.’

he looks back at his dad who checks his watch before shrugging. he couldn’t give a less of a shit as long he got this promised money.

‘fine,’ he says through gritted teeth, storming past a gormless steve and robin and exiting the restaurant.

you glance at steve before following him out, not sure how much longer you could convince him you’d bought everything he’d asked for.

he’s already lighting up a cigarette when you reach the street, perched against the windowsill in days-old clothes. he looked a mess. even worse than his usual gritty self. eye-bags and a sunken face to match.

you breathe out, how do you even start a conversation like this? sorry i fucked your best friend but i actually really like him was probably not the best way to go about it.

‘i’m sorry,’ seemed like the best place to start, ‘it wasn’t fair to you.. what i- we did.. i can’t tell you how shit it makes me feel.. to know that i hurt you.’

he blows the smoke out of his mouth, expressionless, ‘okay.’

is that it? after his great big performance that was all he could say?

‘what?’

‘i said, okay.. what d’you expect me to do? start crying and begging you to love me?’ scoffing as he takes a long draw of the cigarette. his eyes cold, merciless as he glares at you.

‘you ran away.. made everyone worried sick about you.. and all you can say is okay?’

he shrugs, ‘i’m over it.. you’re welcome to each other,’ stubbing the cigarette out on the brick wall, stepping closer to you.

your mouth opens and shuts, flabbergasted by his stinking attitude, ‘shout at me, scream.. fuck- hit me if you want to.. stop pretending like you don’t care.. because i know you eddie munson and i know you do.’

his eyes narrow, intimidating as he towers above, ‘i don’t give a shit, you’re only upset because you want me to.. that’s too bad,’ his adam’s apple bobs, a tell-tale sign that he was lying.

your eyes search his for anything. a glimmer of weakness.

but his eyes are stern, emotionless as his brows thread together.

the door to the bar creaks open and his dad stomps out, muttering to himself, ‘c’mon son, let’s get the fuck out of here,’ replacing eddie’s spot on the windowless ledge and lighting his own cigarette.

he doesn’t break eye contact, ‘i’m gonna take a leak and then i want my shit,’ jaw tense as he barges through the door.

you squeeze your eyes shut, biting onto your bottom lip before cricking your neck. that hadn’t gone exactly to plan. now what the fuck were you gonna do when he realised you hadn’t brought the one thing he’d asked for.

‘i know what women like you do,’ his dad speaks up, taking a long drag on the cigarette, ‘you don’t get to fuck up his life and then happily move on.’

eyes springing open when you realise he’s talking to you, ‘what the fuck did you just say?’

he laughs, a deep belly-laugh, ‘you heard.’

you’d love to smash the smug look from his dirty face. knock his head into the brick wall and drag eddie kicking and screaming back to steve’s cat whether he liked it or not.

‘women like me? the only person who cares enough to drive all the way out to this shithole to save your son? is that what you meant?’ stepping up towards him, as if you were even capable of doing anything.

‘you came to rub it in.. flaunting in with pretty boy there,’ his lips snarl, ‘pathetic really, shouldn’t have bothered.’

eddie comes back out, robin and steve trailing behind, trying to converse with him but being completely blanked, ‘where’s my shit then?’

‘uh.. steve’s car,’ beckoning to where you’d parked somewhere in the distance.

steve flashes you a worried look knowing damn well there was nothing eddie could want in his car. luckily eddie doesn’t pick up on it and instead starts walking in the direction you’d motioned, expecting you all to follow.

‘why’re you in such a hurry?’ you call out from behind, trying desperately to bide time. he was certain to flip his shit the second you reached the car and he figured you’d lied to him.

‘because i want to get the fuck out of here,’ he snaps back, charging on ahead.

you walk in silence to steve’s car, nervously glancing over at steve as eddie and his disgusting pig of a father walk on ahead. steve reaches over and gives your hand a reassuring squeeze though it doesn’t really do much.

eddie’s spots the car first, striding over and peering into the windows, ‘where’s my shit then?’ turning to glare at you with a disgusted look on his face.

your mouth opens and closes, no viable excuse coming to mind, ‘eddie.. i didn’t bring anything-,’ swallowing as you gain some slight confidence, ‘i’m not letting you go with him.’

his dad completely flips, turning to his son, ‘you’re fucking useless, you know that? how the fuck d’you manage to mess this one up?’ practically foaming at the mouth.

‘dad i told her! this isn’t my fault.. we can still go.. i’ll find the cash somewhere,’ his eyes pleading with the estranged man, he had shrunk back into a scared little boy right before your eyes.

his father shoves him away, snarling at his son, ‘you think i actually want to go anywhere with you? my colossal fuck up of a son? you’re dreaming,’ positively fuming.

‘but.. dad,’ he’s almost begging now, regressing back to the night he watched his father walk out on his mom, feeling the heartache all over again.

steve steps up, getting closer to the pair, ‘you should go,’ placing his hand on the man’s arm.

he jerks his arm from steve’s grip, scoffing at you all, ‘don’t bother trying to find me again.. i don’t wanna know,’ poking his sausage finger into eddie’s chest before pulling himself away and trundling off back to the bar you’d met in.

your eyes immediately turn to eddie who was watching the man leave for the second time, tears pricking in his eyes. your chest pangs with hurt, you’d never meant for it to happen like this.

eddie speeds off in the opposite direction and you have to pull on steve’s arm to stop him from going after the boy, ‘he’ll come.. just.. give him a few minutes,’ nodding reassuringly.

steve sighs before turning to face you, ‘okay, you should go anyway.’

‘yeah.’

deciding that it had probably been enough time, you follow eddie’s path and eventually find him perched on a crumbling stoke wall, aggressively wiping his cheeks when he spots you walking over.

you sit in the empty spot next to him, staring down at the grey concrete. not wanting to break the silence and potentially piss him off more.

‘fuck,’ eddie finally breathes, sniffing and wiping his nose on his filthy sleeve. he clearly hadn’t showered in days and you wonder what on earth they could’ve possibly been doing.

‘i’m sorry,’ you croak. you weren’t just sorry for not allowing him to run off with that wretched man but for the fact that you and steve had quite obviously betrayed him.

you hear him swallow and then a rustling from his pocket. looking up to find him with a cigarette hanging onto his lip. he offers the box out to you, as he usually would.

delicately taking one from the pack and placing it in your mouth, waiting patiently for the lighter.

you sit smoking your cigarettes in the calming silence for a few minutes. gazing out at the horizon, the sky awash with all sorts of moody greys. fitting.

‘are you coming home?’ you ask quietly, standing from the wall with your hands shoved in your pockets.

eddie exhales, his eyes closing briefly before he stands, ‘yeah.. yeah let’s go,’ admitting defeat as he lets go of his dad forever, ready to put an end to his reckless escapade.

robin and steve are leaning against his car when you walk back. there had been a silent agreement to not mention it. just get in the car and go.

you sat in the back with eddie, watching as he stares out of the window, pressing his forehead against the cold glass. you move over into the middle seat, resting your head against his shoulder.

things would be alright.

-

things had been actually sorta alright. eddie had seemingly come to terms with you and steve becoming a thing. at least, if he hadn’t, he’d been keeping it to himself.

you tried to keep things respectable of course, jumping apart when he’d enter the room or going off to your own room and creeping into steve’s when eddie had gone to bed. but he wasn’t stupid. and you knew he wasn’t stupid. it just seemed better than rubbing it in his face.

things were completely different with steve and you’d felt a sense of pressure that hadn’t been present with eddie. steve was soft and kind but you couldn’t be so laidback about everything with him.

when you’d disappear at parties to split a bag with someone, he’d want to know. or when you were upset and stressed out, he’d want to know why, how he could help.

which was fair enough, obviously. it was just different. before, eddie would offer some generic advice and a spliff and be done with it. now, you were expected to actually address your issues head-on, not just bury them with sex and drink.

finals week had been harsh on all of you. the apartment in disarray as you were all working overtime to save your grade and not get kicked out of college.

you’d, perhaps a bit unfairly, taken your stress out on steve. arguing with him about menial shit that you didn’t really care about, just finding any excuse to shout and push him away.

he’d sit there and take it, offering sensible solutions and trying to resolve whatever bullshit you’d made up that day. a stark difference to eddie who would’ve screamed straight back at you.

come friday night, you’d all finished exams, sitting around the table when eddie swanned in, flapping some flyer for a party, going on about how you should all go.

‘we’re finished, free,’ he argued, pleading his case to the three of you.

robin flat-out refused, said she needed to sleep for a solid week and then she’d be ready to party. steve umm’d and ahh’d, settling on staying in but he was down to go out tomorrow.

‘i’ll go,’ you speak up, eyeing eddie from across the table, you hadn’t hung out alone yet. this would be a new feat.

‘alright,’ he shrugs, looking at steve for his permission or straight up denial of you two going alone.

steve just nods, ‘alright, call me if you need anything,’ glancing at you with an assured smile.

he wasn’t worried. not really. you’d shown him plenty of times that you loved him even despite your incessant attempts to push him away. even in the bad arguments, he’d kept his cool and waited for you to come to him, keeping everything on your terms.

you’re nervous though. you and eddie partying together had never been a good idea, egging each other on, getting utterly trashed just because he’d dare you to.

not tonight. you swore to yourself before leaving. pressing a tender kiss on steve’s lips, leaving traces of your sticky lipgloss behind.

-

eddie’s pov

it’s a little after midnight when steve gets a phone call from eddie, asking him to come and pick you up. still waking up as he walks across campus, passing countless drunk students as he finds the thumping party.

you’re incoherent on the couch, steve’s eyebrows raising expectedly as he walks into the room. eddie stood to the side watching as your arms instinctively wrap around steve’s neck. even in your drunken stupor you went straight to steve.

it fucking stings.

he looks on worriedly as steve hoists you from the couch, ‘hey man.. uh, she said some pretty weird things tonight, i dunno.. i don’t think she’s okay,’ recalling your earlier slurred words.

you hadn’t meant to, but you’d spilled everything to eddie. a tequila fuelled rant about how steve was so perfect and how bad you felt that you just weren’t. how you didn’t know how to stop pushing him away, even when you didn’t want to.

steve nods, it wasn’t like he didn’t already know you were on this self-destructive warpath. he just wasn’t sure how to tell you that you didn’t need to do this without sounding like a dick.

your arms lazily flop around his neck, laying your head against his chest as he carried you bridal style through the party and right across campus back to your apartment. eddie trailing behind in silence.

‘thanks.. for calling me,’ steve smiles as he nudges his bedroom door open just as eddie was about to disappear into his own room.

‘course,’ he nods, melancholy as he watches your fingers curl around steve’s jacket, pulling him down onto the bed with you, babbling a chorus of steve’s and love you’s as his door closes.

cursing himself for never being that soft with you. never providing that level of safety.

he lies awake for hours, staring at the ceiling. at some point he hears you tumble out of steve’s room, rushing to the bathroom and subsequently throwing up into the toilet. debating whether to hop out of his own bed and help.

but then the padding of steve’s feet make their way through the hallway, his soft voice helping you brush your teeth and get cleaned up. eddie’s assistance was unnecessary. damn, he wouldn’t have a clue what to even do.

on the occasions that you’d thrown up in the morning, eddie would’ve led in bed and laughed. called you a pussy and waited for you to crawl back to bed in a mood. he wasn’t gentle like steve. that shit came as a second nature to him but to eddie? not a touch of it.

he even hears the soft kiss he gives you on the way back to his room, your appreciative little murmur and the click of his door shutting again. 

and he wants to kick himself. scream and cry and throw a tantrum because in an ideal world, that would’ve been him.

but he can’t blame you, no matter how much he tried. it’s his fault he’s such a colossal fuck up. not yours. not steve’s. his.

he eventually gives up and moves to the couch, not getting much luck at sleeping in his bed. the suns rising when he hears snippets of your hushed conversation.

it didn’t sound angry. or even upset. just barely audible speaking’s about your feelings.

‘i know.. i don’t mean to,’ he can hear, a twinge of sadness in your tone.

‘you don’t need to.. not with me,’ steve mumbles and the blankets rustle, snapping him out of his trance.

he can hear small i love you’s and the sound of lips smacking. but then your muffled breathy moans start and the bile rises in his throat. undeniably he knew what was going on in there, everything being confirmed by the rhythmic creaking of the mattress.

and he knows what you look like. he can see it. feel it. hell, he lived for it at one point

pushes himself from the sofa and straight out of the door. not wanting to hear a second more.

-

you don’t feel as bad as expected in the morning, rough but not as bad as you should be feeling.

robin’s now ready to celebrate, steve agreeing and you almost want to hurl at the mention of going out. eddie sits in silence at the end of the table, he’d been pretty strange this morning and you’d wondered if you said something to upset him last night.

you could vaguely recall the self-pitying spiel you’d forced him to listen to. physically cringing at the fact you’d started crying and wailing about steve to him.

robin suggests having some people over, just a small thing with close friends. maybe if everyone was up for it you could all go out afterwards. that you could agree to.

she rounds the troops, calling the friend you all shared. who all agreed to get there at eight. something small and casual she repeats down the phone.

there’s a few tag-alongs, people you’d met briefly at parties or friends of friends who had been dragged along. so it wasn’t the small gathering you’d pictured with just the gang. but it was okay.

the speaker being turned to max and the living room full of people. everyone in high spirits because finals had finished and were relatively confident that they’d at least scraped a pass.

you edge through the crowd, waking over to steve who was splayed out on the couch, spliff hanging from his fingers. he grins when he sees you, opening his arms.

‘hey pretty girl,’ beckoning for you to climb onto his lap, arms snug around your waist as he passes the spliff to you, still giggling at his pet name.

eddie glowers from behind the couch, huffing before pushing himself up and storming into the kitchen. he hadn’t realised how much he’d already drank, liquor coursing through his veins.

‘watch it,’ someone exclaims when eddie barges into their arm, subsequently spilling his beer onto the boys shirt.

eddie sees red. turning to the boy and snarling as he shoves his chest, sending him to the floor.

‘what the fuck did you say?’ grabbing the boy by the collar before smashing his fist into the side of the poor boys face.

steve hears the commotion, leering over the sofa to see what the fuck was even going on. he shoves you off of his lap, running to go and grab eddie from on top of this boy.

you finally see what everyone had crowded around, watching as eddie’s fist pummels into his now bloody face. only easing when steve grabs onto his arms, gasping for breath as he’s thrown back into reality. realisation setting in about what he’d just down.

people rush to the unconscious boy, somebody screaming to call an ambulance. the music cuts out harshly, silence echoing around the room as you stare at eddie, wide-eyed. terrified.

you’d never seen him like this. so brutal, covered in someone else’s blood. his chest falls and rises, staring back at you with an equally as horrified expression. steve is saying something to him but it’s not registering. a ringing in his ears as the world crashed and burned around him.

the police turn up alongside the ambulance crew. taking statements from whoever hadn’t left and eventually cuffing eddie. muttering about crazy fucking kids and quite forcefully pulling him from the apartment.

his eyes lingering on yours as he’s guided out. steve’s arms wrap around your shoulders, pulling you into his chest, resting his chin on the top of your head. you’re still in disbelief, tears welling in your eyes as you remember how unforgiving and downright cruel he’d been.

‘you wanna go to bed?’ steve asks, chest vibrating with his low voice. fingers combing through your hair, in your own corner of the living room as robin and nancy attempt to clean the floor.

jonathan and argyle are picking up tiny shards of glass, not an ounce of conversation between them. all still reeling from eddie’s outburst. you were sure he was going to jail, there wasn’t any way he could possibly wriggle out of this one.

‘we should-,’ the words getting caught in your throat, ‘we need to help clean,’ pulling back to look at the state of the room, discarded cups and splatters of alcohol on the walls.

‘we’re nearly done.. you should go to bed,’ robin nods, wringing the cloth out into the sink.

even they had come to the conclusion that this was something to do with you. you and steve in particular. the way eddie’s eyes had locked onto you the second steve had pulled him off of the boy.

you knew it. he’d been frosty and unusual with you all morning. with everyone in fact.

-

eddie emerges from his room for the first time in days. looking worse for wear and feeling just as shit. the tag on his ankle restricting him from leaving the apartment freely.

he peers down at the blinking red light, mentally cursing the plastic as he drags his feet along the carpet. he can hear you and steve chatting quietly, not really able to make out what was being said.

not expecting you both to be sprawled out on the couch, your leg draped over his waist as your delicate fingers combed through his hair. the last few days had been so bleak, that he couldn’t really find it in himself to hate that you were sharing these moments with steve.

he sighs loudly, hoping to let you know he’d entered the room. not wanted to be involuntarily including in whatever may have happened next.

you sit up slightly, gazing at him stood behind the kitchen counter, ‘hey,’ it’s quiet, but he hears it. almost deciding to ignore until he remembers how much you’d doted on him and helped him recently.

‘hi,’ but he doesn’t look back, staring into the empty fridge, waiting for something to materialise. but it doesn’t.

‘when’s your court date?’

the words sear in his ear, an unwelcome subject.

‘next tuesday,’ deciding upon a swig of milk straight from the carton, not exactly the five-course meal he was hoping for.

‘okay well, we were.. we’re gonna come, y’know.. for support,’ your eyes are unrelenting, following him around the kitchen.

‘don’t bother, i’m pleading innocent,’ completely monotonous in his response.

he’d already argued with the state provided lawyer about this. a shoddy man who could not care less whether eddie went down or not, just wanting to cash his cheque at the end of it all.

the balding man had called him stupid, ‘there are multiple witnesses.. plead guilty and they’ll probably pity you n’ slap you with some community service or summit.. don’t be stupid son.’

you scoff, using steve’s chest as leverage as you sit up properly, ‘you’re joking? right?’

his eyes finally meet yours, thumping his fists on the marble counter, ‘i am innocent,’ no one could understand where he was coming from, not even the man who was being paid to at least pretend to care and understand.

‘you beat the shit out of him, eddie.. you broke his fucking jaw,’ your eyes are wide, looking at him like he’s an idiot- which he was, but not about this.

‘i was provoked, self defence,’ he says in all serious. he was frustrated, lashed out but at the end of it all, the guy had bashed him first.

‘wh- because he accidentally knocked into you? you really must be fucking stupid.. what are you thinking?’

eddie notices steve, or what he could see of him, tense up, obviously not wanting to anger the violent monster eddie had become in so many people’s eyes.

‘it’s my choice.. i was fucking provoked, saw some stupid shit.. that’s not my fault,’ relinquishing the blame to you.

in his eyes, if he hadn’t seen the disgusting display of affection, he probably wouldn’t have fucked up that boy. but he had, and that wasn’t his fault. so how was he guilty?

‘you’re ridiculous.. i actually can’t believe you,’ your eyes full of disappointment.

the way your face falls, eyes narrowed and sharp as knives makes his heart twist. genuine hurt flashed on your face. almost paralleling the horrified expression you’d held as he was cuffed and dragged away.

‘it’s my decision, i wouldn’t expect you to know a thing about what it’s like to be me,’ kicking the fridge door closed with a loud thump.

you disappear from his sight, flopping back down onto steve’s chest with an exasperated sigh. he rolls his eyes before stomping off into his bedroom. his mood probably wouldn’t be so terrible if he could just leave this godforsaken apartment.

actually, why shouldn’t he? if you were so certain that he was going to jail anyway, what harm was there in going out? fuck it.

so he gets dressed, pulling his denim jacket on and spritzing himself with aftershave. he’d worry about the tag later, surely one of his buddies would have something to hack it off with. hopefully with minimal damage to his leg.

you don’t even look up from steve’s eyes when he comes back out, having had enough of his idiotic attitude for the day.

‘woah, where are you go-,’ steve starts before being cut off with the front door shutting, he was gone, without so much of a look back.

jogging down the stairs and out of this suffocating hellhole.

-

it doesn’t take long for the police to show up, banging their fists on the door and red in the face with anger.

they grilled you and steve for what felt like hours. making sure you hadn’t helped in his escape. tearing his room apart for some sort of clue to where he’d gone.

‘we found the tag at a location not far from here.. could anyone be hiding him? he’s in serious trouble.. we need anything you’ve got,’ the officer pleads, frustrated with having to deal with this bullshit on a thursday night. you don’t blame him.

you shake your head, ‘no.. i-i mean, there’s a few bars down on main but our friends aren’t stupid enough to help him.’

any previous feelings of worry had disappeared, replaced with frustration. you weren’t prepared to spend your whole life trying to find eddie every time he decided to run away. he so obviously didn’t give a shit about what you thought, it was a waste of energy at this point.

the officer sighs, ‘right, well you let us know if he gets in contact or comes back here,’ rummaging in his pocket for a small bit of card, ‘that’s my personal number.. call me straight away.’

you nod, thumbing the glossy card and flopping back onto the couch. steve shows them out, closing the door softly after they leave. he gives you a look, full of pity. he doesn’t say a thing but you know what he’s thinking.

‘i’m done,’ holding your hands up, ‘he can get himself out of this one.. i don’t care anymore,’ surrendering completely.

he nods, looking as just as tired as you felt. sometimes you forget that this isn’t just between you and eddie, steve is right in the middle of it all too, staying quiet and holding back for eddie’s sake.

you’d tried to be courteous and thoughtful with eddie. pulling away from steve when he’d enter the room, trying not to be so overly affectionate in front of him. you felt like maybe you owed him that for how you’d gone about it, but why?

not once had he ever shown interest in being with you romantically, he was the one that’d explicitly said that you and him were friends with some added benefits. screw him.

‘you hungry? i wanna get out of here,’ pushing yourself from the couch and throwing your arms around steve’s waist, cheek squished against his chest.

‘i could eat,’ returning the hug, swaying slightly as his hands roam around your back.

-

eddie’s pov

eddie checks his phone for the umpteenth time.

no new notifications

he was anticipating at least something from you by now. hell, even a pathetic hi would’ve sufficed. the man wasn’t dumb, choosing to hole himself up in gareth’s basement with a six-pack rather than hitting the main spots.

he questions whether the dinghy, dark basement was any better than the confines of the room he’d escaped. supposing that you and steve weren’t next door, anything would be better.

he debates just calling you first. curious to know why you hadn’t called. maybe after the next beer. or maybe now. fuck it, it’s already dialling.

it rings and rings, becoming increasingly concerned with your well-being.

‘what?’ your voice rings out after the fifth or sixth ring.

he’s taken aback, ‘hello to you too,’ taking another swig of beer, his knees pulled up to his chest.

‘what d’you want?’

christ. you really weren’t falling for it this time.

‘nothin’.. just expected to hear from you by now, that’s all.’

he can hear the eye roll through the phone, your tiny almost inaudible little tut, ‘i’m not saving you this time.’

‘i didn’t ask you to.’

‘so why’d you call then? i’m busy.’

‘you with steve?’ he doesn’t even know why he asked, of course you were.

‘yeah, i am.. is that what you wanted to hear? or were you hoping i was out searching for you with the police?’

ouch. you’d called him out. figured out his silly game and threw it straight back in his face.

‘i didn’t- you just had to rub it in, didn’t you?’ anger rising in his throat, ‘you always do.’

‘you think i’m doing this to make you jealous? this isn’t about you anymore.. you need to get over yourself,’ you sigh, empathetic about the harsh words that’d just spilled out, ‘i love him, eddie.. you’re gonna have to deal with that.’

and with that the phone clicks. you’d hung up. you had hung up on him, no grovelling or pleading for him to come back home. that was it. the harsh truth and now he had to just sit with it.

his head falls back against the cold brick, staring up at the damp covered ceiling, weighing up his options. he knew he’d fucked up. best case scenario, he’d get a couple extra months on his sentence. worst case, they’d throw the book at him for wasting their time.. not to mention the already hefty sentence for the assault.

you had completely and utterly exhausted yourself trying to support him and even you had had enough. he only had himself to blame for that. maybe jail would be a good thing? he could get his head straight.. get over you, maybe even find some purpose in his life.

he pulls another beer from the pack, cracking it open and taking a long swig. exhaling as the bitter liquid seeps down his throat. there was only one way out of this fucked situation and he knew that.

-

eddie perks up when he hears your key in the door, sat on the couch for what seemed like hours waiting for you both to get back.

your face drops the instant you see him, gripping onto steve’s hand as you walk into the dimly lit living room.

eddie stands, holding up his hands, ‘i’m gonna hand myself in.. i just-,’ he exhales deeply, ‘i wanted to say goodbye,’ jaw tense as he looms between you and steve.

‘you are? do you want me to call the sheriff? i- he gave me his number..’

‘no, no.. i’m gonna go down there.. it’s easier,’ eddie motions towards the door, shaking his head.

you stand dumbfounded for a second before nodding slowly, chewing on the inside of your cheek, ‘it’s the right thing to do..’ the lump in your throat growing as you look back at the pathetic man in front of you.

steve gives him a weak smile, patting his hand on your arm. there’s a brief moment of silence. the three of you all staring back at one another in awe of the fucked up mess you’d wound up in.

‘c’mere,’ steve motions to eddie, walking over to the boy with arms outstretched. he pulls him into a bear hug, clapping his palm on eddie’s back.

from the look on eddie’s face squished against steve’s shoulder you can tell he needed it, ‘i’ll miss you man..’ he breathes into his best friend’s sweater.

‘we’ll come and visit.. you’re not getting rid of me that easy,’ his laugh is shaky as he pulls away, smiling proudly at his friend.

you stand slightly behind steve, watching on with tears brimming in your eyes. even though steve had tried to reassure you, you couldn’t help but feel so guilty that this had ultimately all happened because of you.

eddie walks over slowly, throwing his arms around your body, gripping his fingers into your arms knowing that this may very well be the last time he ever got to hold you like this.

your arms cling around his waist, cheek pressed against his chest, ‘i’m proud of you..’ was all you managed to croak out, tears wetting his dirty t-shirt.

he sniffs, swallowing the lump in his throat, ‘thank you.. for everything,’ because truly, you were the only person to never give up on him, even if he had made it incredibly difficult for you.

you lift your head off of his chest, staring up at him with sodden cheeks, bottom lip quivering as you let go of him. both physically and emotionally.

he puffs his cheeks out, wiping his face with the back of his hand before clearing his throat and nodding at the pair of you, ‘you take care of her..’ eyebrow raised.

‘aye aye captain,’ steve gives him a tight lipped smile and a half-assed salute, watching as the man he had grown up with walked out of the apartment, head held high and a newfound spring in his step.

the end of the beginning.

[foxy-eva]

Morning Shower

Summary: JJ looks irresistible after her workout so you decide to join her in the shower

Pairing: Jennifer Jareau x Fem!Reader

Category: Smut, Fluff

Content Warnings: (18+, minors DNI) showering together, heavy kissing, fingering, oral

Word count: 1.3k

Masterlist

JJ was an incredibly attractive woman, there was no doubt about that. Those past few months you had seen her in all kinds of circumstances and not once did you think that she was anything less than absolutely flawless. It almost sounded cliché, but you found her especially alluring in times where she would expect it the least. 

Right after waking up, when her eyes were barely open and her hair was messy, she looked like an angel to you. After long days of work with a subtle shadow under her eyes and her mascara a little smudged, she was still so, so beautiful. 

And oh, when she came home after a workout, you could barely look at her without your cheeks heating up. 

She had just entered your apartment after her morning run, her skin glistening with sweat and the swell of her chest still heaving. Her cheeks were tinted in a rosy shade and with the sun peeking through the windows, she almost looked like she was glowing. 

You watched as she stretched her arms over her head. Unabashedly you let your eyes roam over her body, your sight lingering on her soft curves. She knew how much you enjoyed seeing her wearing sports clothes but she had no idea how quickly your thoughts turned indecent. 

JJ caught your staring, a smirk forming on her face as she chirped, “Good morning!”

“Good morning, indeed. You look beautiful,” you cooed as you found her eyes. 

“I’m all sweaty and gross,” she laughed as she walked towards your bathroom. “I need a shower.” 

You listened to her footsteps as she disappeared from your sight and took the last sip of your coffee. When you heard her turn on the shower you decided that you could not hold back any longer. Every fiber of your body was yearning to feel her skin against yours. 

When you stepped into the bathroom the glass of the shower had already steamed up but you could still see her outlines. As you let your clothes drop to the floor JJ seemed to have noticed your presence. She opened the glass door of the shower before you had a chance to touch the handle. 

“I was hoping you’d join me,” she purred as you stepped in. 

The sensation of the warm water against your skin shocked your whole system but it was nothing compared to the feeling of finally having JJ’s hands on you. You found her lips in a kiss that quickly deepened while your hands began wandering over her back. 

Kissing her ignited a flame inside you only she could tame. Heat rushed through your entire body as your arousal began pooling between your legs. You broke the kiss only to turn her around and press your body into her back while your lips attached to her neck. 

Your hands became curious as they moved over her breasts, washing away the soap she must have put on before you entered the shower. You were thorough in cleaning her, even long after any remains of her morning workout were washed away. Her skin felt so soft under your fingertips, it was almost surreal. 

The sound of her moans as you played with the hardened peaks of her chest was addicting and you started to feel light-headed. One of her hands reached back until it could grab the flesh of your hips, making you sigh against her neck.

One of your hands remained on her chest while the other slowly descended down her body until your fingertips made contact with her silken folds. Her desire for you was almost dripping into your palm when you began moving your fingertips along her slit. 

Her hips began grinding against your hand as you focussed on her most sensitive spot. It wasn’t enough for you though. You needed to worship her fully, wanted to experience all the glory her body had to offer. 

“I need you, JJ,” you breathed against her neck before gently biting it.

“Then have me,” she sighed in response. 

The confinements of the shower didn’t leave room for much movement but you still managed to turn her around again and push her against the cool tiles of the wall to make sure she wouldn’t slip. You kissed your way down her body until you were on your knees for her. Your hands wandered over her thighs as you placed feather-light kisses against her hip. 

When your hand moved to the back of her thigh, she lifted one leg and placed it over your shoulder to give you better access. Without breaking eye-contact, you let your tongue glide through her crevice, collecting her arousal as if it was the last thing you were ever able to consume. 

Her heady scent began clouding your mind as you explored her, almost as if you could imprint her uniqueness on your tongue. When JJ threw her head back against the wall, her hands fell to your hair, urging you where she needed you the most. Having her desperate to find relief was exciting you more than you could ever put in words. 

You focussed your attention on her little pearl and were rewarded with her praise in the form of moans falling from her lips. Guiding her into an euphoric state was all that mattered to you then, even when your knees started to complain about the harshness of the tiled shower floor. Two of your fingers found her entrance and pushed into her, finding no resistance from her body. 

When relief washed over JJ in waves, her entire body quivered as you felt her walls pulsing around your fingers. You guided her through her high with your tongue against her core until she tugged on your hair hard enough for you to let go of her. Still on your knees, you looked up and admired the goddess standing in front of you, her lips parted as she tried to catch her breath. 

She reached out a hand for you to help you up before wrapping her arms around you. With your chests pressed together you could feel the accelerated pace of her heart drumming against her ribs and imagined it could somehow touch your own heart through those layers of skin and bone. After she had caught her breath, her lips found yours in a soft kiss while one of her hands made its way down your body. With your legs slightly parted, you granted her access to your delicate parts.

When she felt how much you desired her, she snickered, “Someone’s excited.” 

“Can you blame me?” You giggled. “I mean, look at you!” 

“I’d rather look at you,” she purred as she started to move her fingertips along your core. 

And she did look at you, even when it became almost too much for you to keep your lids from closing. Her eyes always reminded you of the ocean, azure blue and mysterious. The depth of her irises made you feel like you could drown in the love she had for you.

“I love you,” you muttered before you lost your ability to form words.

“I love you, too.” 

A gasp fell from your lips when her fingers entered you, moving rhythmically inside you just the way she knew you liked. It felt like you were floating, surrounded by the warm water pouring from the shower head and embraced by your lover, keen on guiding you into pure bliss. 

“Come for me, my love,” she breathed. 

And you did. Your hands grabbed her waist for balance when your body began shaking as she worked you through your climax. Before it became too much, she removed her hand from your center to place her arms around you instead. 

JJ then began washing your body, carefully and with tender motions she rid you of the evidence of your arousal before you did the same for her. As you stepped out of the shower you dared to glance over JJ’s bare body one last time before handing her the towel, determined that morning showers like that would definitely have to become part of your Sunday routines from now on. 

If you enjoyed this story you should check out my other sapphic Criminal Minds works here!

Please like, reblog and leave a comment! I need your lovely words to stay motivated to write more stories.

Taglist: @gspenc @samuel-de-champagne-problems @luredwithpretzels @reidselle @gaelic-symphony @lovelyy-moonlight @rustyzebra @iameternallylonely @sapphicprentiss @storiesofsvu @multifandomlesbianic @emiliaserpe @thenerdthatwrites @guacam011y @snapeknot @grumpyy-bearr @pleasantwitchgarden

[iaminfamous]

Dabi x Girly! F! Reader

Hello! This is my first post on here, any/all constructive criticism is well appreciated! <3

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ warnings ; nsfw, dom/sub dynamics, slight dubious consent, blowjobs, choking, outdoor sex, public sex

❝ Doll, you’re such a tease. ❞

His voice is so deep, makes you shiver. His grip in your hair is so tight, hurts so good. Dabi’s cock hits the back of your throat in a way that stings so great. You never imagined that this is what you’d be doing—stuck in a pretty pink short skirt, tits hanging out as he forces his cock past glossy lips.

The cold brick of the school’s walls hit your naked back, and tears hit those pretty, shining eyes of yours. Eyes that stare up at him with desperation. Eyes that he can’t get enough of. So needy, so pathetic as blue streaks fall and begin to dry on your blushing cheeks.

Never before had he seen such a beautiful girl. He knew he had to have you from the very first sight. See, Dabi was addicted to you—watched you every day, and jerked off to you every night. And today.. fuck, today, he just broke.

It’s not his fault you came into school wearing the most slutty outfit. A skirt that hardly hid any of that perfect ass. Fuck, he couldn’t wait any longer. So, the moment you were caught alone, rough hands gripped your wrist and pinned you against the nearest wall.

He imagined how he’d take you—fuck you all night for hours, break you open for him, listen to you scream his name. He wanted to tear you apart, force your body to only know his cock; nobody else’s. It’s too bad that Dabi isn’t necessarily known for his patience, because now he has you sucking him off behind the school.

Your mouth feels so good around his cock, though. So good he can’t regret this decision whatsoever. Squirming, and those dainty hands gripping his thighs for dear life. Mascara running with the tears, and his cock can’t help but twitch in your throat as the two of you make eye contact. “Fuck, Princess.” He groans.

“Mmmh!” His cock hits the back of your throat, nose deep in his pubic hair, and you slap his thighs. It’s hard to breathe, and you’re suffocating. Is this how you die? The way you choke and gargle around his base is so painful, but you can’t stop yourself from enjoying it.

His fingers pinch your nose as his cock stays unmoving in the deepest depths of your mouth. You can’t breathe, tears spilling, and you sob around his cock. Heart racing, and your head becoming light—mind hazy, almost blank around his cock.

And, finally, he lets you breathe again. Doesn’t give you time to catch up on it, though. You’re left hyperventilating around his cock. You have little energy to suck on it, but he keeps your head bobbing with the grip in your hair.

Your eyes roll back, legs shaking as slickness begins coating your pink panties, acrylic nails digging into Dabi’s thighs. Tongue rolling out and lapping up as much of his cock as you can, despite the large size. He removes his cock for just a moment, slapping your face with it. Moans, “Shiiiit, such a whore.”

“Dabi—“ You whimper out, and his eyes glow a bright blue. His cock is back in your throat, fucking it well and good, thrusting at a rapid pace. Hearing that sweet innocent voice murmur his name just.. holy shit. He can’t get enough of you.

It doesn’t take much longer before he’s cumming. Groaning, head slamming against the wall above you, and hot spurts deep down your sore throat. You take what you can, whining around his cock as your mouth is coated white. He fucks you through the orgasm, moaning out your name lewdly.

As he pulls out, cum dribbles out of your mouth, and you cough it out onto the ground. Tits hanging, and a puddle of his cum in front of you. Your fingers wrap around your throat, glossy eyes, before finally looking up at him. His eyes are slanted, dark as he says, “I’m going to ruin you.”

And you can’t wait.

[crypt1d-cr3ature]

Oop, drew some girls from class of 09… again lol. Have some Headcanons:

💊Nicole 💊

-kept her dad’s last name after the divorce, mostly to fuck with her mom.

-Pretty good at the guitar, but barely practices.

-Has DIY’d a couple of her shirts, but mostly can’t be fucked to put in the effort to do it more often.

-Always says she doesn’t smoke weed, but if someone offered her some at a party, she’d smoke it (“I’m too broke to turn down free drugs, even pussy shit like this.”)

🌸Jecka🌸

-tans at least twice a week. Her favorite tanning sticker is the playboy bunny.

-bedazzles her own jeans

-Wore a bombshell bra once, then started wearing push-up bras every day.

-Her dads’ never actually hit her, has punched the wall close to her head though. Mom oscillates between helicopter parent and being apathetic

💉Emily💉

-doesn’t actually dye her hair, she just has a collection of clip-in extensions.

-Kylar once called her “raccoon eyes” so she knocked him out.

-Does her makeup like that to hide that she’s never able to fully get off her mascara.

-Constantly drinking energy drinks at school, she saves the tabs to make jewelry.

-Really likes graffiti art, and has some of her own stuff downtown

🔪Ari🔪

-goes away to be a camp counselor every summer.

-She was the one who started/ finished everyone’s friendship bracelets, so she was the most popular counselor; she also gets gifted loads of bracelets/keychains at the end of summer, so she wears them to school and decorates her backpack with them.

-Talks to Karen about Harry Potter sometimes, and they sit together in AP English.

[atleastpleasetelephone]

Little Darling

Chapter 2 - Love's in hiding

It's 1997, and Elvis is still alive and well. He quit music in 1972 after a successful world tour, and now he runs Presley Studios - teaching people karate across America. His daughter and grandchildren are regular visitors at Graceland, and when he’s in Memphis he likes to do a little teaching. His life is quieter now, though. Most of the Mafia have gone - going to live their own lives - and after his divorce from his second wife, Elvis is sworn off women for good. Will a Welsh girl with a wicked sense of humour be the one to make him break his promise to himself not to fall in love again?

Need to catch up? Go here.

Pairing: Old Man!Elvis x OC - Tegan, a Welsh girl he meets at karate.

Word count: 4.3K

TWs: Angst, body image issues, thigh riding.

A/N: Thanks all for the lovely comments on the last part. I'm planning on posting every other day so that I can make the Christmas part line up with Christmas... but we'll see!

“We need to make you look so good there’s no way he can say no.”

Maria is a woman on a mission. She’s standing with her hands on her hips, eyeliner pencil between her teeth, looking like she’s planning a military operation. When she’d heard from Tegan what had happened she’d been annoyed and her protective instincts had kicked in, suggesting not going to Graceland and even not going back to karate until Elvis left again. But that wasn’t what Tegan wanted, not really. So she switched to second best, which is making Elvis sorry he’d said he just wanted to be friends. This had led her to turn up bright and early at Tegan’s flat to make her shower, shave, bluff, pluck… and anything else that she could think of. Nails are painted and whilst they wait for them to dry she tries in vain to get her friend to wear anything on her face other than a little mascara. 

Tegan shakes her head. “I’m terrible with make-up. I’ll just get it everywhere and eat all my lipstick off.”

Maria sighs but eventually decides to let it go, knowing she’ll have a battle on her hands anyway when it comes to choosing a swimsuit. And when the other woman comes out wearing a frumpy-looking one piece she knows she was right. 

“You can’t go in that. Why don’t you wear a bikini?”

“Lisa said swimsuit.”

“I think you’re taking that a bit literally. I’m sure she just meant swimming costume generally. She definitely didn’t mean that ugly thing.”

Tegan grumbles, looking down at her swimming costume. She doesn’t think it looks that bad, but she’ll have to let Maria win on something. She already conceded the make-up thing, she’ll probably make the clothes her hill to die on. She goes back into her room and changes into a pink two piece, which does look better, though it’s a bit bright. She’s not sure what possessed her to buy it in the first place, really. 

“Oh that looks good. What about that?”

Tegan screws her face up. “I dunno, Mar. It’s a bit… garish.”

“You’re a bit garish,” Maria jokes, gesturing at Tegan’s extensive tattoos. 

“Hmmmm. I don’t have to go in the pool, you know. I can’t swim. Maybe I’ll just conveniently forget my swimming stuff.”

Maria shakes her head. “No. He’s going to know what he’s missing out on.” She gets up and bodily pushes Tegan back into her room again. “Why don’t you try the black one on?”

The black one seems like the best option, even though Tegan can’t quite get her head around the idea of stripping off to what she considers her underwear in public. She’s never been big on bikinis on the beach either. After some debate she decides on a long floral summer dress, and spends the next half an hour curling her hair. 

“I don’t know why I’m doing this. I have to put it up anyway.”

“No you don’t. You look good with your hair down.”

“But it’s hot. And you want me to go in the pool.”

“Why don’t you arrive with your hair down and then put it up if you want to get in the pool?” 

Tegan groans. “Okay. Fine. But it’s your fault if I get there looking like a sweaty mess.”

Maria just decides to take that, resisting the temptation to talk about the air conditioning in the car. Some things just aren’t worth it. 

When she’s finally ready Tegan makes herself a gin and tonic and waits for an hour before leaving, chatting with her friend and drumming her fingers on the table impatiently. Maria had suggested it was better to make Elvis wait and she’d agreed, but she's nervous and she doesn't want all this extra time to think in. Graceland seems like such a fabled place, almost the stuff of dreams, that she can't quite believe she's going there. 

Maria gives her a big hug goodbye and some encouraging words before she sets off. She offers again to go with her, but Tegan thinks she should go on her own, since she was the only one who was strictly speaking invited. She doesn’t love talking to strangers, but at least Lisa will be there. And Elvis. He did say he wanted to spend more time with her, even if it was as friends. 

***

Elvis spends most of the day pacing about the house and trying to find things to keep his hands busy. And then when guests start to arrive, he insists on answering the door himself, every time wondering if it will be Tegan. On more than one occasion Sonny tries to tell him that he can just look and see who it is on the CCTV, but he’s not listening. The house is getting full and she still hasn’t arrived. Why did he let Lisa invite her? Or, more to the point, why did he say he wanted to see her as a friend? He doesn’t want to see her as a friend, that’s bullshit and he knows it. He pinches the bridge of his nose as he stands in the living room, watching people mingle. A friend is all she can be. He’s been down this road before and it ended terribly. He can’t put himself through that again. 

When the doorbell goes at around 4pm, Elvis strides over to the door as usual and flings it open. He’s so used to it not being Tegan, that when he looks and it is her he almost doesn’t recognise her. That, and the fact that she looks completely different out of her karate gear. Her dark brown hair is streaked with grey and frames her face in a sea of loose curls, and her eyes somehow look especially green. His eyes dart over her face and then trail down her body, and he can’t help noticing how good her breasts look in the long summer dress she’s wearing. He clears his throat and quickly looks back up again, but not before he sees her painted toenails. Cute feet, he thinks. He’d noticed them during class, but she didn’t usually paint her nails. 

“Well hi here.”

Tegan smiles. It’s hard not to smile at him. “Hi yourself. Can I come in?”

Elvis gestures dramatically with one arm, making her laugh a little. She steps inside the house and lets him lead her around, his hand on her elbow. He immediately starts introducing her to people, a sea of names she has no hope of remembering. Then he takes her outside, where there are sun loungers and even more people. She looks around, feeling a little overwhelmed at the sheer number of strangers, as he sits down on a lounger, striking up conversation with a couple of guys near him. She stands there awkwardly for a minute, before realising he’s expecting her to find somewhere else to sit. 

She wanders to the nearest free one, looking around for Lisa and sitting down when she fails to see her. People nearby introduce themselves and make a little idle chit chat, and then go back to talking to one another. She feels like everyone knows each other, and she’s the odd one out. Lying back on the lounger with her sunglasses on, she wonders why on earth she didn’t bring Maria, who absolutely thrives in this sort of situation. That’s why they were such good friends. Tegan doesn’t think of herself as an introvert, exactly. But she feels awkward in situations like this, and Maria definitely doesn’t. She just didn't expect quite this many people. Sighing softly, she thinks about how she's misinterpreted him again somehow. Will she ever learn?

Elvis isn’t that interested in this conversation with Sonny and Joe but he felt like he had to do something to stop Tegan sitting with him. Although now that’s all he wants, stealing little glances at her lying on her lounger, basking in the sun. He might’ve thought of her as a little cute before, but in that dress her body is becoming a bit of a distraction. He needs to take his mind off it. 

“Hey Charlie, let’s start a pool game!” He calls over to his old friend. 

Charlie’s enthusiasm for following Elvis’ instructions hasn’t dimmed over time, much to his wife’s irritation. He immediately shouts “yes boss!” strips down to his trunks and grabs the nearest inflatable ball. Elvis continues with the instructions, telling people to get into teams and explaining the rules which he’s mostly just made up on the spot. The noise and general jostling of her lounger make Tegan open her eyes again and sit up, trying to work out what’s going on. One of the women nearby turns to her. 

“You wanna join? They’re playing some kind of ball game in the pool.”

She doesn’t. She doesn’t want to strip off in front of people and she also doesn’t really like swimming pool games, since she can’t swim. But then she thinks of Maria’s voice in her head, telling her she has to show Elvis what he’s missing out on. And how long it took for the two of them to agree on a bikini. She should probably try and show willing, and at least this seems easier than making small talk about other people’s small children. 

“Yeah, why not.”

There are so many people chaotically stumbling around, taking their clothes off, shouting and some even pushing each other into the pool that Tegan feels like she gets in fairly unnoticed. Elvis notices though. He has to make an effort to keep his mouth from falling open. She has the most tattoos of any woman he’s ever seen, and as she turns to fold her dress up and place it on the lounger, he notices she has the best ass he’s seen in a long time too. He watches her get into the pool slowly and carefully, standing at the shallower end. This is actually not less distracting than her being on the lounger at all. This is a lot more distracting. The only solution is to cause as much chaos as possible. 

“Alright, let’s go!” He shouts, and then absolute pandemonium breaks loose. 

There are people diving for the ball left, right and centre, people being tackled, pushed under the water and all the while they’re shouting for some kind of judgement from Elvis as if he’s an impartial referee. But he just keeps changing the rules. Tegan looks in disbelief as it all unfolds around her. A lot of the guys are the same sort of age as Elvis and not all of them look in as good health as he does, so it’s somewhat alarming to see them behaving in such an unhinged way over a beach ball. He continues to make arbitrary decisions on scores and yells at the top of his lungs whenever one side seems to be clearly winning against the other. Tegan has a strong urge to put her fingers in her ears. She had imagined a much more sedate affair when she’d heard the words Saturday afternoon barbeque. She knew that Elvis and his friends had a reputation of being loud and even a bit obnoxious when they were younger, pulling pranks and playing games, but she hadn’t thought they’d still be doing it in their sixties. When everyone starts to slow down due to obvious tiredness Elvis suggests a five minute break and Tegan breathes a sigh of relief.

“Why don’t you get in here, E?” Someone calls. 

“Nah. I’m good.”

Sonny shakes his head, deciding he’s had enough of being told what to do for one day and getting out of the pool. 

“You’re going in. Up to you whether you take your shirt off first.”

Tegan watches as the pair of them scrap, laughing and slipping around on the edge of the pool before Sonny jumps back in and pulls Elvis, fully-clothed, in with him. 

“Sonofabitch,” Elvis laughs, whipping his head round to get his wet hair out of his eyes. 

Tegan can’t help smiling to herself seeing him so wet. It seems like justice since he’d been one of the primary instigators of making so much noise. 

“That’s what you get for not joining in,” she mutters. 

Elvis spins around, finding her right behind him. “Oh. Is that so, Queenie? Ya don’t look too wet yerself.”

Before she can say anything in response he starts splashing her. She squeals and jumps up to sit on the side of the pool, wiping her face with both hands. Grateful she didn’t take Maria’s advice and put a full face of make-up on. 

“You’re going to ruin my hair,” she tells him as he stands between her legs, a hand on either side of her hips on the side of the pool. “It took ages, you know.”

“It still looks good,” he tells her, unable to help himself gazing into her eyes. 

“Well I’m sure it looks better than yours right now,” she replies, a teasing smile on her face. 

“What d’ya mean?” He demands, fake outrage in his voice as he pushes it back from his face and tries to style it into the way he used to wear it in the 50s. “Ya don’t like this?” He curls his lip into a sneer and she cracks up immediately. He looks like one of those impersonators she sees at the seaside when she goes home. A middle-aged man pretending to be something he’s not. 

“I love it,” she replies, still sniggering. 

His eyes trail over her body almost against his will and hers linger on the way his wet shirt is clinging to his torso. He breathes out a little sigh. She looks so damn good in this bikini, he thinks. He has to move before he does something he regrets.

“Right, that’s enough rest for you reprobates. Back ta the game!”

Tegan lets go of the breath she didn’t realise she was holding, and slides back down into the pool for another round of fight to the death over a beach ball. She looks over at him a few times, now playing as well as deciding all the rules, and feels a tingling start between her legs. He looks good all wet, she thinks. She breathes out hard and narrowly avoids being hit in the face by the ball, dodging to the side and then getting out of the pool. That’s enough watersports for one day. 

She pulls on her cover up and lies back down in the sun, wondering again what’s going on with Elvis. He had looked so close to kissing her, but then changed his mind and went back to the game. She just can’t figure him out, and eventually she gives up trying, unable to work it out with just pure logic. Instead she wonders when this so-called barbeque will actually start. She tries asking a few people but only gets vague responses. She’s getting really hungry, but it seems like everyone else is just content to drink and play pool games, and she still can’t find Lisa, though she’s afraid to venture too far into the house. Elvis is still avoiding her, so she starts to wonder exactly what she’s doing here at all. She decides maybe it’s time to leave. 

“Elvis.” She stands next to his lounger, her bag on her arm. 

“Yes, honey.”

“I’m gonna go. I um… yeah I think I should go.”

She sees his face start to screw up in confusion and then decides she can’t manage this conversation and turns on her heel, quickly striding through the outdoor area and into the house. 

Lisa sees her walking through the house with her bag on her shoulder, heading for the door, and runs to where her dad is still sitting, dumbfounded. “If you don’t go after her, I will. And there’s no telling what I’ll say.”

Elvis sighs and gets up, picking his way through the people and their possessions, all strewn about the place. 

“Tegan! Tegan! Wait!”

She’s right at the front door, and she knows she could just open it and leave. But there’s that pull again, that magnetism. It’s like she’s powerless to resist him. She turns around, reluctantly, and finds him much closer than she’d imagined. He puts a hand on either side of her shoulders, against the door, almost pinning her there. He’s panting a little from moving so quickly and she can feel his breath on her face.

“Don’t go, Queenie.”

His wet hair flops down into his face and his blue eyes stare deeply into hers. She feels like a tiny insect under a microscope, trapped beneath his gaze.

“I don’t know what’s going on, Elvis. I can’t take these mixed signals anymore and I… I just want to go home. Everything here is so… loud.”

As if to prove her point, there’s a loud bang from outside and then a cheer. 

Elvis carries on looking at her in that intense way, really wanting her to stay now.

“Okay, they are a little loud,” he concedes. “Sorry, honey. And I… I’m sorry ‘bout the other thing, too. But I don’t want ya t‘leave.”

His eyes flick down to her lips and then back to her eyes. He can’t help himself. The way her cover-up is sticking to her wet bikini top, making it see-through, is driving him crazy and all he wants to do is kiss her. And then run his fingertips all over her body.

He’s so close she can feel the heat radiating off him. There’s something in his eyes that makes her think he’s going to kiss her, and then when she looks back at him he does, soft lips pressing gently against hers. He pulls back, and before he can ask if that was okay, she’s tugging his head back down to crash their mouths together this time. Elvis Presley is kissing her in the doorway of Graceland. And he’s just as good a kisser as the girls’ annuals and gossip magazines when she was a teenager suggested he might be. His tongue explores her mouth patiently and gently whilst hers presses urgently deeper and deeper, her hand on the back of his neck pulling him in closer. She wants all of him. She wants this kiss to just go on forever. 

When they eventually pull apart, they stare at one another breathlessly for a minute and then both giggle, like teenagers. 

“C’mon. Yer not gonna leave now, are ya?” Elvis asks.

She smiles. “No, I guess not. Although I’m going to have to have some of this promised barbeque food soon, I’m starving.”

“Thought ya seemed a little hungry,” he teases, taking her hand and pulling her back outside. 

***

Elvis instructs someone or other to fire up the barbeque and manages to tear himself away from talking to everyone else to spend some time with Tegan. After actually being fed and drinking more than a few cocktails, Tegan and Lisa get to talking and by the time she looks around the party has really thinned out. She sees Elvis laying back on a lounger, surveying the mess and listening to the dying sounds of the party inside. She gets up and wanders towards him and he spreads his legs, patting the space between them. 

“C’mere.”

Despite the kissing and the cocktails, Tegan is still not about to sit right up against someone unless they specifically ask, so she settles somewhere near the bottom of the lounger. Elvis shakes his head and clicks his tongue, grabbing her hips and pulling her towards him so that she’s right between his legs, her back against his chest. It’s one of his old moves that he barely thinks twice about, although he really hasn’t tried it for a long time. It works though, she relaxes against him, smiling at the feeling of him wrapped around her, his arms around her waist. 

He kisses her temple. He’s missed touching a woman like this, but he can feel it all coming back to him like riding a bike. “Y’look so good, Tegan,” he murmurs in her ear. 

She giggles. “It’s Teh-gaan,” she teases. 

He squeezes her more tightly and exaggerates the Welsh pronunciation in her ear, his breath tickling her. “Teeeeehhhh-gaaaaan.”

She keeps giggling, trying to wriggle away from his tickling lips. “Stop it! Ha!”

He kisses underneath her ear and thinks of something. “Is it Welsh? What does it mean?”

She nods. “It means darling. Or, loved one. Or, literally, toy.”

Elvis’ eyes light up and he nuzzles her neck. “Little Tegan,” he murmurs. 

“Tegan bach,” she replies. 

“What?”

“That’s “little darling” in Welsh.”

“Say it again.”

She turns her head to look at him. “Tegan bach. You have to make a noise like a cat hissing. Chhhhhh.”

They both snigger, and Tegan thinks that this is her favourite way to be with him. When his face is all scrunched up with amusement and his eyes are shining. When he’s looking at her like she’s the only girl in the world.

“Tegan bach,” he tries, and it’s not a bad attempt. 

“Yeah. That’ll do.”

She lies back down again and he nuzzles into her neck again too. There’s something very comforting about it for both of them, and part of both of them wants to stay in this position forever. But that’s not practical. 

“I should go home,” she says, after a while. 

Elvis sighs. If he were much younger he’d definitely have asked her to stay. But she’s probably right about going home. 

“Can I drive you?”

“Yes please. I’ve had too many margaritas to do it myself.”

They walk towards the front door together, Tegan gathering her things on the way. Elvis tells Sonny what he plans to do, and that he’ll call when he gets there so someone can pick him up and take him back to Graceland. Luckily Sonny had decided not to drink, having the feeling he might be needed for some foolish task or other. He doesn’t like Elvis doing this kind of thing, although he’s bothered a lot less by fans than he used to be, it still seems like an unnecessary risk. On the other hand, he hasn’t shown this much interest in a woman for a long time. So Sonny just nods and says he’ll wait for the call. 

There aren’t many dedicated gate fans nowadays, and certainly not at this time of night, so no-one sees Elvis driving a woman out of Graceland in her car. As soon as they’re clear of the gates he pulls Tegan closer to him, his arm around her shoulders for most of the journey. She’s not sure that’s exactly safe, but she likes the way it feels so she doesn’t say anything. 

She lets him into her apartment so that he can use the phone, and once he’s got hold of Sonny he sits down in her armchair. 

“He’ll be fifteen or so. Why don’tcha c’mere?”

Once again, Tegan isn’t sure exactly what he means, and she thinks it’s a bit forward to just sit on his lap, so she walks towards him until she’s stood between his spread thighs. He shakes his head a little and with what she considers to be a surprising show of strength, picks her up with his hands on her waist and plonks her down so she’s sat straddling his thigh. She rests her hands lightly on his shoulders, trying to steady herself as she feels her heart beating out of her chest. 

“Can’t take my eyes off ya,” he tells her, his hands running all over her body. 

She blushes, then leans forward and captures his lips in another kiss. Smiling against her, his big hands run up her thigh, her back. 

“Can ya take this off?” He mumbles against her lips, pulling lightly at the sleeve of the cover-up. 

She nods and pulls it up and over her head, sitting there in just her bikini now. He can tell how much she likes kissing so he pulls her into another passionate one, feeling as she responds, her hands on the back of his neck, tongue exploring his mouth. She starts to rock her hips just a little, enjoying the feeling of rubbing herself against him. She loves the way his hands hold her, with just the right amount of pressure. One makes its way to her hip and starts to help manoeuvre her, dragging her against him. She breathes a little harder and presses her body against his, leaning her head on his shoulder. His fingers grip her hips as his other hand moves there too, rolling her pussy against his leg. He tries to listen for her reaction, but she’s so quiet he can’t tell if she’s getting anywhere. 

“Is it good, honey?”

Tegan breathes out a little sigh. “Yeah.”

He kisses her neck as he carries on moving her, bouncing his leg a little at the same time, listening as her breathing gets faster and louder and she lets out a tiny moan. 

“Relax, baby. Yer all tense.” 

He can feel her body, taut like a bow, like she’s straining for something. She is. It’s good, but it’s not getting her anywhere, and she can feel herself getting frustrated. Just then, there’s a bang at the door. Sonny. She jumps up and reaches for her cover-up, pulling it back over her head. 

“You better go.”

Elvis is stunned at how quickly she moved. And he can’t remember the last time he left a woman unsatisfied. 

“I uh… Sonny can wait y’know. If ya wanna finish.”

Tegan laughs. “Sonny’ll be waiting until the sun comes up at this rate.”

She sees Elvis’ reaction and immediately realises what she’s said, putting her hand over her face. “I didn’t mean… it’s not your fault. It’s me. I’m like this.”

Elvis shakes his head, getting up and putting his arms around her. God, he really wants to stay. If only he could. “Not your fault at all honey, I rushed it. I’ll take my time, next time.”

Tegan looks at him, raising an eyebrow. “Oh, next time, is it?”

“Mmmm.” He pulls her into another kiss and she feels dizzy. 

There’s another bang at the door. 

“You better go.”

“Mmmhmmm.” Elvis puts his lips to her ear again and murmurs, “think of me while ya finish, hm?”

Tegan grins, letting him kiss her goodbye and then watching as he walks down the stairs to the door. 

It wouldn’t be the first time, she thinks to herself.

***

Part 3

Taglist:

@vintagepresley @arg-xoxo @from-memphis-with-love @msamarican @blursedblegh @returntopresley @eapep @everythingelvispresley @i-r-i-n-a-a @sissylittlefeather @arrolyn1114 @jhoneybees @cattcb @polksaladava @lookingforrainbows @jkdaddy01 @ccab @epthedream69 @lustnhim @elvisslut @pomtherine @that-hotdog @ladelinee @angschrof @fairybloodsucker @deltafalax @makethemorning @elviswhore69 @ilovequeen978 @wildhorseinkansas @pocketfulofpresley @dkayfixates @iloveelvisss

[zxvmp]

DTF? (Denki x Fem!Reader)

summary: it’s the weekend, so you and your classmates decide to celebrate your off days partying. where would be a better place to party than the club? What you didn’t think would happen was hooking up with Kaminari.

tags: alcohol, underage drinking, smut, improper quirk usage, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it guys), vaginal sex, roughness, skin marking

a/n: not proof read, so sorry for any errors 😩

You scrambled through your dresser drawers looking for an outfit. If you were going out with your classmates, you wanted to look extra good. There weren’t many opportunities for you to dress up and look good, so you wanted to take advantage of this opportunity.

It was Mina’s idea to sneak out when Aizawa fell asleep. The club was your idea. It took a bunch of convincing Yaoyarozu to create fake ID’s for everyone. Not to mention getting Ida to not snitch. He agreed to be on watch out for you all in case Aizawa got up.

The plan was perfect.

You pulled out a short, skimpy bright red dress that looked like a stripper would wear. It shocked you that you even owned such a thing. You thought it was a bit too much, but you really didn’t have anything else. Plus, you were sure the other girls would wear similar things.

Once the hallways started to silence, you took the time to get ready and patiently wait for a text message. You wore your hair down with a slight curls at the ends. Your makeup was subtle, just mascara, blush, and lipgloss.

As your phone buzzed on your nightstand, you applied your finishing touches and checked your phone.

Mina 🩷

alr guyss

we’re in the clear! 😍

meet up in the front quickly!! (1:02 a.m.)

Kirishima 🪨

awesome 😎

i’m so pumped

Mineta 😐

me too 🤤

*Jirou, You, Yaoyarozu, Uraraka, & others disliked Minetas message*

You slid on white high-top converse and quietly opened your door. Since you didn’t own any heels, your converse were just going to have to do. Plus, you didn’t want to deal with sore ankles the next day.

The walk down to the front doors was difficult. Mostly because everyone was containing their laughter from trying to be quiet. It didn’t help that Denki accidentally tripped down the stairs, causing a loud bang to roar throughout the staircase.

Once you all made it to the front, Denki used small voltages to disable to cameras set up. After all of the cameras were disabled, you booked it towards the front gates where multiple taxis were parked. You made a mental note to thank Yaoyarozu for paying for them.

You ended up jn a taxi with Denki, Mina, and Kirishima. The four of you were known as the planners for party situations. It was a tight squeeze in the backseat, but you all managed. You were in between Mina and Denki.

To help pass time, you played mini games on your phone. As you played your games, you noticed you forgot to charge your phone. You let out a sad sigh and disregarded the low battery notification.

Denki heard your sigh and turned his head to notice your low battery. “I got you.” He pointed a finger at your phone and used his quirk to charge your phone.

You gave him a smile, “Thanks.”

He nodded and turned his head to continue talking to Kirishima. However, your eyes were left lingering on him. He wore a black dressed shirt that was slightly unbuttoned with a gold chain. For pants, he wore black baggy jeans. An all-black combo. His cologne entered your nostrils which made you start to realize how attractive Denki actually was. You knew he was hot, but tonight he looked better than usual.

Seeing him now really set something off in you.

“Whatcha lookin at?” Mina whispered, nudging you playfully.

You bit back a smile and nudged her back, “Stop.”

Mina giggled, “C’mon just say it’s already! You think he’s hot.”

Just before you could raise your hand to silence her, Kirishima caught your attention.

“Yo, we’re here!” Kirishima excitedly hopped out the car. Denki gave you a quick glance before hopping out shortly after.

You looked back at Mina and she raised and dropped her eyebrows playfully, making you roll your eyes.

As you scooted towards the door of the car, Denki stood outside with his hand out. You paused before taking his hand.

“What’s up with all these kind gestures? You’re usually always finding a way to annoy me.”

Denki laughed, “Who says i’m still not finding ways?”

You let out a small yelp and jolted at the sudden feeling of a shock. “Ow!”

While Denki was in a laughing state, you took your chance to activate your quirk. You raised your hand and summoned a water hand to follow your action. A loud slapping sound echoed throughout the crowd, causing some people to turn back and look at the two of you.

“OW! Mine did NOT hurt that much.” Denki rubbed his cheek and wiped a tear that formed in his eye.

You snickered, “C’mon, half of them already made it in.”

~

Loud music played throughout the club. You were already five shots in of the 10 minutes of being there.

“Damn (Y/N), you do this often?” Kirishima watched as you downed a shot, amazed at how you were in the lead.

You, Denki, Mina, Kirishima, Bakugo, and Yaoyarozu were all in a drinking competition. At first, it started off with the whole class. But after three shots, multiple people tapped out.

“Nope, maybe you guys are just lightweight.” You wink, finishing another shot. In truth, you really didn’t know how you were managing multiple shots.

Bakugo snatched the shot you were reaching for before you could grab it, “Shut you damn weirdo, I won’t allow you to beat me.”

You giggled, “Alright tough guy, I was about to tap out anyways.”

And thank god you did. While you watched the others compete to drink, it all hit you. You were cheering on Denki as it happened. In one blink, your vision became slower and you could feel your body become fuzzy.

“Damn, you guys look fucked up.” Mina laughed, nudging Kirishima to look.

“How many did you guys take?!” Kirishima burst out laughing.

You looked over at Denki and noticed his eyes were half-lidded and a drunk smirk was plastered on his lips. The two of you help eye contact before he broke it.

“Wayyy more than you.”

You giggled, “Yeah!”

“Whatever, i’m gonna go find someone to dance with.” Mina got up and disappeared into the large crowd of people.

You decided dancing was a good idea and began dragging Denki into the crowd without a thought. Flashing lights were displayed everywhere and you could feel strangers brush up against you every other second.

“Awe you wanna dance with me?”

You shrugged your shoulders, “I’m bored.”

At first, it started with the two of you singing your heart out to a justin beiber song. Mina probably managed to sneak in a song request because you knew it was her favorite song. Then, as the music began to drift off to other songs, you found yourself dancing against Denki.

His hands were rested on your hips while your back was against his stomach. You felt so free and loose drunk. It was amazing. Not to mention the rush of excitement you felt whenever you’d occasionally grind your ass against Denkis crotch. You could tell he enjoyed it from the way his grip on your hips would change.

You felt goosebumps form on your neck when you felt Denki kneel down to your level to rest his head on your shoulder. You turned your head slightly and caught his eyes.

In that moment, it was like everything around you was a blur. It was only you and Denki. His eyes traveled from your eyes to your lips. You felt the urge to kiss him. He must’ve felt the same thing, because he beat you to it.

His lips were on yours in an instant. You gasped into the kiss when you felt his hands slowly move around your body. The kiss escalated quickly. You turned around to wrap your arms around his neck for a better angle.

After a while, you both pulled away to catch your breath. You stared up into his yellow eyes admiring his handsome face. Behind his half-lidded eyes, you could tell his gaze was filled with lust. You couldn’t lie and say you weren’t aroused either.

A smirk formed on your lips, “Down to fuck?”

~

It was a risky gamble. As everyone began to head back to their dorm rooms, you managed to sneak into Denki’s unnoticed.

The second the two of you reached his room, your hands were all over each other. A trail of clothes and shoes were led up to his bed. Soft moans escaped your mouth as his mouth attacked your skin. One of his hands were placed beside your head while the other was slowly making its way down your thighs.

You gripped his forearm when you felt his middle finger run down your slit. His smirk deepens and you could he was enjoying every moment of this. He loved the way your facial expressions changed with each touch. It’s like he knew your weaknesses.

“Had a feeling you liked me.” He inserted his ring and middle finger, making you whine, “Tell me i’m wrong.”

“What…?” You breathe out. Your mind was focused on the way his fingers were plunging in and out of you. The alcohol in your system made you sensitive to any and every touch.

“C’mon, you don’t think I tease you all the time just for fun? I do it because I know you like it.” His pace increased, “I mean, when I didn’t hear you deny Mina, it all started to piece together.”

You were at a loss for words. You’d have to kill Mina later for her loud mouth.

“If you knew, why are you trying to get it out of me n-now?” You words were mushing together from the sensations you were feeling. Denkis fingers were curling up into you at a perfect angle.

He giggled, “I dunno, just wanted to hear it from you.”

Before you could say anything else, you were cut off by the waves of electricity coursing throughout your body. Denki placed his thumb on your clit and used his quirk to stimulate you more. You never thought such a feeling could make you feel so good.

A loud moan echoed in his room and you felt a knot form in your stomach. Through your blurred vision, you could see that Denki was in awe.

“Fuck..”

His lips crashed onto yours and you could feel another shock jolt your body. With a final thrust of his fingers, you came undone. Your release coated his fingers and you were almost embarrassed at the sight.

“Think you can take some more, pretty girl?” Denki brought his fingers up to his mouth to lick them clean.

Watching him do so sparked something in your body you never thought would. You nodded your head to his question as you calmed down from your high.

Denki had a pretty good size for a dick, much bigger than you imagined. Watching him slide in was definitely the highlight of your night. Both of you groaned in unison once he was fully in. You felt so full.

You threw your head back and closed your eyes once he began to thrust. He started of slow so the two of you could adjust to the euphoric feeling.

“Fuck—Denki, keep going.” You muttered in between quick breaths. He felt so good inside of you. It was a perfect fit.

He let in a sharp inhale when you clenched around him, “Whatever you say, angel.”

His nicknames made your heart swoon. Once his pace picked up, you clutched the bedsheets beneath you. The grip his hands had on your hips was brutal and sure to leave markings in the morning, but you didn’t care. Not when you felt like that.

Your breaths started to become erratic, and you could tell from the way his thrust started to become sloppy, he was close.

“Denki-”

He groaned, “Yes?”

“After this, what are we?”

He smiled and planted a kiss on your forehead, “Whatever you want us to be.”

You smiled and hooked your arms around his neck to bring him into a kiss. Denki brought a hand up to your cheek and traced circles with his thumb. You turned into mush under his touch. He was truly your weakness, and you were totally okay with that.

“Tell me if it’s too much, mkay?”

You nodded and unhooked your arms from his neck. His hands returned to your hips and you felt his pace pick up again. However, his thumb began to circle your clit with his quirk playing a role, sending you over the edge. You were a moaning mess.

The voltage of electricity had you seeing stars and feeling things you didn’t think you could ever achieve. No man has ever made you feel that way.

Nothing but moans and broken cries came out your mouth. Denki was enjoying every second of it. Hell, if he could hear you and watch you crumble like this everyday he’d do it in a heartbeat.

Without warning, your body began to spasm and an intense orgasm took over your body. Denki continued to thrust into you, chasing his own high.

“Ah—Denki!”

“I know babe, just give me a couple more seconds.”

Your mind went blank and your ears began to ring. After a couple minutes, you began to snap back to reality. Your eyes traveled down to see Denki cleaning your stomach with a T-shirt. You mentally thanked him for not finishing inside of you.

You snickered.

“What? It’s all I had.”

“Thank you, now let’s sleep. I’m exhausted.”

He tossed the dirty T-shirt to the side and crawled up next to you. You pulled a blanket over your bodies and slowly drifted off to sleep. You had a lot to discuss in the morning.

[katyawriteswhump]

mommy's girl

For @stevieweek day 4 (sorry I’m late!) Special Outfit and extra prompts, Scoops/uniform, lingerie & @steddiemicrofic July prompt, ‘one’.  Rating: M WC 1,111 words. CW: None.

Tags: trans-fem Stevie Harrington, steddie, no upside down au, angst and feels, platonic stobin, steve has an awesome mom and not-so-awesome dad (also, faintly based on some RL experiences belonging to my other half... used with permission and love ;)) All my ST fic on AO3

Summary: Stevie makes a new beginning, and it’s all super-overwhelming…

…

Stevie was fumbling in her purse for her car-keys. Her mom hurried from the porch with yesterday’s mascara bleeding from her eyes and her hair tumbling from its pins:

“Stevie! You forgot your name-badge.”

“Gotta love company policy,” griped Stevie. At least the dumb thing now said ‘Stevie.’ Her mom pinned it on her Scoops uniform above her padded bra—part of a slinky set Eddie gifted her last time he came home from tour. Eddie was next due back today, which was something to look forward to after the previous night’s trauma.

“You gonna be okay, mom?” asked Stevie. “If you need me, I’ll call in sick.”

“No. This is day one of the rest of our lives. Your father’s finally gone for good. I need to start untangling our affairs.”

“And I finally get to go to work in a miniskirt.” Stevie glanced at her thigh-kissing skirt. She loved it, but… Shit, too much was happening.

His mom had booted her father out for a billion reasons. However, his constant gaslighting of Stevie being Stevie—and her dating ‘that lowlife Munson punk’—had sparked last night’s apocalyptic standoff. “Look, I’m sorry it was me that—”

“Don’t you dare apologise.” Her mom placed her hands on Stevie’s shoulders. “I’m so proud of you, darling. You got a job you enjoy, a boyfriend who adores you, and you always look a billion dollars.”

“In this shitty uniform?”

“Even in that.”

“Still not wearing the lousy hat.”

Breaking the news about her father to Robin meant Scoops opened half an hour late. Then, when Stevie leaned down to pull up the shutter, Robin yelled: “Screw you, Shit-bird, that skirt looks too good, and your ass looks too pretty, and I despise you.”

“You wear a skirt then. You could start a douchey scoreboard for who gets more creepy stares.”

“You know I hate skirts.”

“Quit whining then.”

Bantering with Robin couldn’t distract Stevie from her tiredness and nerves. When her mind started screaming, she focussed on the cling of her skirt, the glide of the silk panties beneath. Eddie would be here soon. Eddie would go crazy for her…

Robin took the phone message. Eddie’s flight was cancelled. He wouldn’t be home till tomorrow.

Dammit, Stevie needed him now.

She was wiping down a table, when she heard a snicker. A devastating mean-girl stare slammed into her.

Right at crotch level.

Stevie glanced down. 

Oh. Shit.

Robin found her at the back of the store, slumped forward on the table, face pillowed in her arms. “Stevie? You okay?”

“No.” Stevie jumped up and pointed to the middle-front of her skirt. At the bulge. “Look.”

“Huh?”

 “You see? It’s Mr… Miss Pokey.” 

Robin shrugged. “Only if you squint.”

Stevie swiped her lank-feeling hair from her face. Her hands trembled. “I’ve not even gotten an erection or anything. Everyone’s staring.”

“They’re not.”

“They are! I loved these panties, but the silk triangle at the front bunches everything forward and…” Suddenly, it was all super-overwhelming. What the heck was she… HE… doing? He’d wrecked his parents’ marriage. Eddie was probably lying about the flight to avoid him. “Jesus, I look horrible. I’ll put the shorts back on.”

“Don’t you dare.” Robin shoved a banana across the table. “Eat that. You’re cranky when you’re hungry.”

“It doesn’t solve—”

“No, it doesn’t. I have an idea what will.”

…

“It’s too weird not having to shit myself about your Pa taking pot-shots at me,” said Eddie, when Stevie led him into her bedroom. It was stacked with boxes—her mom had already got the decorators in. “Got you a lil’ something, Babe.”

Eddie presented a crepe-paper parcel. Stevie smiled tightly and sat on the bed to unwrap. It was gonna be more underwear, but her confidence was so shattered that…

She held up the swathe of peachy cotton and white lace. “You got me granny pants?”

Eddie beamed and Stevie couldn’t help giggling.

“Jesus, did Robin call you? Or my mom?”

She stripped off and pulled them on, loving how Eddie lapped her up with his thirsty gaze. Stevie couldn’t keep her own eyes from the mirror. The panties pressed her in slightly in the front, perfect for a mini-skirt or figure-hugging dress. Eddie swept her hair from where it dusted her shoulders and hooked her matching bra. He trailed kisses down the sweep of her neck, each sending a delicious shimmer down her spine, then twirled her around.

“I love them, Eddie.”

“Me too, honey. You look amazing. I could’ve got ones that pad at the hips but with your teeny waist…” He traced it lightly. She shivered with pleasure. “Nah, don’t need it.”

“Can’t believe I’m feeling hot in big panties.” She leaned back into his embrace, dizzied by the weird relief of the moment. It was no way as epic as her father having finally gone, but… 

“Shall I order a dozen, Stevie?”

“Hell, yeah.”

They both tumbled sideways onto her bed. “Cool, Babe. Let’s get you outta them.”

They took it slow, kissing till he was wearing her lipstick. Then he set her squirming, her fists clenching his hair, as he nibbled around the cute lace at the trim of her panties, before slipping his fingertips teasingly beneath. Slowly, he peeled her free. Stevie hadn’t waxed today, but that was fine, because hairy was what she was sometimes, and Eddie, as he whispered again and again, worshipped her every way she was.

They made love, fixing deep in each other’s eyes. Stevie’s panties looped her thigh like a slinky garter.

…

It was a week later when Stevie, for the first time since her father left, found her mom crying. She was hanging out the washing on the line.

“Mom, what is it?”  She hurried over, and yes, her mom’s eyes were teary. And she was laughing. “Mom?”

Her mom reached up and brushed knuckles down Stevie’s cheek. “Don’t worry about me, darling. I’m happy.” She nodded at Stevie’s new panties. “They remind me of my gym kit. You know, the good old cheerleading days. Never marry a Jock, darling.”

“Wasn’t on planning on it.”

“Eddie really is the one, isn’t he?”

Stevie’s heart panged with happiness and sadness at once. “Still time for you to find your one and only, mom.”

They pegged the rest of the washing up together: “Gotta ask, mom—did you want a daughter?”

“I only ever wanted you, Stevie,” she said, then, slightly crossly: “But if your long-haired lover’s late for family dinner again, I’ll kick his ass back on tour.”

“Mom!” Stevie pitched a sock, which her mom neatly caught. “Don’t be mean.”

They were both laughing. Life felt pretty good.

[anothermansjeans]

youtube reader doing spencer’s makeup for a video? mgg has super long lashes and i just need to put some mascara on them 😭😭 i’m loving youtube reader they’re dynamic with spencer is so fun

THANK YOU I LOVE THEM SO MUCH THIS IS NO JOKE

cw: spencer wearing makeup, spencer is basically reader's bitch (affectionate)

wc: 623

youtuber!reader masterlist

++

“And you’re sure you wanna do this?”

“Of course. Why wouldn't I be?”

You swore you fell in love with Spencer even more every day. “Because some men have toxic masculinity and wouldn't let their girlfriends put makeup on them?”

“Well, those men don't have IQs as high as mine.”

You laughed and dabbed a blob of foundation on your hand, preparing to use the beauty sponge to blend it onto Spencer’s face. “Well thank God for that. I had to buy a whole new shade for you. Wouldn't want my money to go to waste.”

As you began blending, Spence flinched the tiniest bit at the cold substance. You were sure the camera was picking it up. He was a lot quieter than usual, and you had to comment on it. “Is everything okay?”

“Mhmm.”

“You're not talking… you're a certified yapper, Spence.”

“Hey!” Alas, his first words in five minutes were spoken.

“I’m not wrong,” your words were mumbled, but he heard them. “Sorry, sorry. Would you tell me why you’re not speaking, though?”

“I don't want to mess up your hard work.”

Again, you fell in love just a little bit more. “You won't mess anything up, Spencer.” You placed the sponge down and grabbed onto one of his hands. “Please talk as much as you want. The people are going to be here for you and your wisdom, babe.”

Even under the thin layer of foundation, you could see the hint of a blush appear on his cheeks. “Okay… did you know the word ‘cosmetic’ has a Greek origin, and was derived from the word ‘kosmos’, which means to adorn or arrange. The magazine, Cosmopolitan also has this same root.”

You smiled at the fact and continued with the routine. You got through the contour, blush, highlight, and eyeshadow, finally moving onto the mascara. “Okay, Spence, I’m going to put this wand near your eyelashes and I just need you to blink for me.” He did as he was told, and you couldn't keep your jealousy contained. “I'm so mad at you for your eyelashes.”

“What did they do?”

“They're so long!” You huffed and he chuckled. “It’s not fair. You do absolutely nothing to them and they're so beautiful.”

“Thank you.”

“You're welcome,” you mumbled out your response, finishing up his other eye before putting the mascara down and digging through the lipstick options. “We should do a liquid lip.”

“Liquid lip?”

“Yep! It won't transfer once it dries.”

“Did you know that the first lipstick appeared in ancient Mesopotamia approximately 4,000 years ago when women decorated their lips with the dust that was made of precious gems?”

“Thank God they stopped using precious gems or I wouldn't be able to afford the tens of lipsticks I have,” you quickly looked up at him, giving him a smile before finding the perfect shade for him. “Here we go! Now, I need you to not talk when I do this.” He gave a nod and allowed you to put it on. “Give it a minute to dry.”

You fanned his lips, and once you deemed it appropriately dry, you smiled and grabbed his face with one of your hands, causing his lips to pucker. “All good! See?” You pushed your lips together, giving him a big smooch in front of the camera. When you released him, you turned your face to the camera, showing your lips before turning back to him. “It didn't transfer!” He could only nod, shocked from the sudden affection, and you laughed as you ran your fingers through his hair. “You really are a pretty boy.”

You shared a chuckle and finished up the video. You were so lucky to have your pretty boy.

++

BONUS: some comments

@ user: i want a pretty boy :(

@ user1: what if i stole your man's eyelashes... then what?

@ user2: can he do a collab with the calm app? ma'am i would pay good money for that but you get it FOR FREE

@ user3: TELLING HIM TO START TALKING?? I LOVE YOU GUYS

@ user4: brb sleeping on the freeway tonight

@ user5: THE KISS?? THE KISS!!!

++

youtuber!reader taglist: @im-a-ghost666 @lyd14k4y @happiestcat @hauntedtv13 @obi-wansgirl @charismatic-writer @navs-bhat

let me know if you would like to be added or removed!

[babykisses]

Complete Guide : How to looksmax & drastically improve your appearance

Looksmaxing refers to the practice of enhancing one's physical appearance through various methods like grooming, skincare, fitness, etc. It's about YOU and feeling the need to constantly remind yourself that you can be better. In this guide, I’m sharing with you ridiculously specific tips to drastically improve your appearance.

body language

Being beautiful is not only about having big lips and a striking jawline. No, it's about the feeling you give to other people, about your energy. Furthermore, it's about how you have embodied your energy. The only way you can embody this truly, is by accepting your authentic energy.

· make eye contact

· keep your head up

· don’t play with your jewelry

· be extremely, obnoxiously confident

· stand up straight, push your shoulders back slightly and open up your chest

· smile more often, it will make you look more charismatic & happy, so you will appear more attractive, as many say “be happy and you will be beautiful”

diet

Proper nutrition plays a crucial role in transforming your skin from the inside out. By eating a balanced diet that is rich in vitamins, minerals, and antioxidants, you can help to maintain healthy, glowing skin. You will not only look your best, but also feel your best. Your diet should look like this :

· low carb

· low sugar

· 3L of water daily

· lots of veggies & fruit

· high protein, fibre & potassium

· only eat organic grass-fed meat (for meat)

· 3 Brazilian nuts a day, they improve your skin health & hair health

· ginger shots, a combination of ginger, freshly squeezed lemon juice & water or coconut water. The health benefits of ginger shots include : decreasing inflammation, calming indigestion, and boosting immunity. Keep in mind that ginger shots are meant to be drunk all at once as a quick shot. Be careful not to drink more than one shot a day since too much ginger can cause heartburn.

makeup

· keep it natural, don’t overdo it and remember, less is more

· curl your lashes & mascara (Dior iconic overcurl is my fave mascara!!)

· contour & bronze cheeks (Chanel bronzer 395)

· wear skin tint, NOT foundation. Less is more.

· sublte white highlight on the inner corner (I recommend dior glow palette) DO NOT grab a white pencil and think it does the job. It doesn’t. It will make you look tacky.

· black or brown liner on the upper waterline

· blend your skin tint in with your hand, then go in bak with a damp beauty blender for a flawless finish

· for a natural eye lift effect, draw a line (with a skin coloured pencil) from your outer crease all the way to the temple & blend in a sculpted effect

lashes & brows

Facial harmony is important to the face, and your eyebrows need to work well with all of your face.

For face harmony ask the eyebrow tech this: the eyebrow arch of the eyebrow should be aligned with the upper orbital rim of your eye, reaching it’s highest point slightly lateral to the outer edge of the iris.

For the length the eyebrow should start at a point above the inner corner of the eye and end diagonally from the outer corner of the eye, extending slightly past it.

Also the thickness of the eyebrows should be balanced and in proportion to your facial features.

Ask to maintain thick eyebrows if you do and ask to get it if you don't. Thick eyebrows are good because thicker eyebrows are preferred for a more youthful appearance like you're still in your 20s. Think of an example as Brooke Shields.

Also the distance between the eyebrows should be approximately equal to the width of one eye.

Furthermore the overall shape of the eyebrows should complement your face natural contours, and tell them to take into account your facial structure and features.

Also, your tech needs to be well skilled and knowledgeable to even know these. So I highly recommend going to a very qualified professional in order to get your brows done. At the end of the day, it’s like you’re giving your beauty in their hands. You alternatively do it at home, remember to be precise.

· get fuller brows : brow serum, micro blading, brow pencil, etc.

· grow out your eyelashes with a mix of aloe vera & castor oil (apply as a serum) or use a lash serum (I recommend Latisse)

· dark brows & lashes are more attractive, in order to darken them here’s some advice :

solutions to darken brows & lashes

· brow tint & eyelash tint

· hybrid dye : lasts up to 7 weeks on the hairs & 10 days on the skin

· tint : lasts up to 4 weeks on the hairs & 3 days on the skin

· brow pommade & brow pencil

skin

· in order to achieve your perfect skin tone, eat more carotenoids.

what are carotenoids?

Carotenoids are yellow, orange & red organic pigments that are produced by plants and algae. Carotenoids give the characteristic color to pumpkins, carrots, corn, tomatoes, sweet potatoes, spinach, salmon, shrimp, kale, broccoli, cantaloupe, papaya, mangoes, oranges, bell peppers, watermelon, apricots, tangerines.

(In summary they are brightly colored fruits and vegetables)

So make sure to include these foods into your diet. If you want a shorter list of the foods that are the highest in carotenoids :

spinach, kale, corn, oranges, bell peppers, tomatoes, watermelon, sweet potatoes, cantaloupe, broccoli, carrots.

· get custom spray tan

· get laser hair removal (don’t forget to shave before your appointment)

· smile line removal : volufiline

· for clear skin, STOP eating sugar & dairy

· drink CELERY JUICE everyday for glowing skin

· a rich moisturizer, spf & a good diet is all you need

· it is better to get a real tan, not fake tanner

· laser mole removal

· to prevent ageing, you should SPF every single day, never use tanning beds, never smoke, use a retinoid nightly, wash your makeup off & maintain a skincare routine

· stay hydrated: drinking plenty of water and staying hydrated help maintain healthy, hydrated & plump skin

lips

Brushing your lips with a toothbrush. Brushing lips with a toothbrush each day can temporarily increase lip fullness. The brushing may stimulate blood circulation in the lips, leading to temporary redness and slight swelling. This increased blood flow can create the appearance of fuller lips for a short period. Brushing the lips with a toothbrush can help exfoliate the surface layer of dead skin cells, promoting smoother and potentially plumper looking lips, removing the buildup of dead skin cells.

· lip liner (love the Charlotte Tilbury liner & MAC lip pencil)

· ombré lips effect

· keep them plump & glossy

· if you want to whiten your teeth I suggest you get professional teeth whitening or use whitening teeth strips (if you have sensitive teeth, make sure to buy the right kind because you risk damaging the area)

get rid of face fat & bloating

Bloating significantly impacts your appeal by concealing the underlying bone structure, which plays a crucial role in defining the contours of your face.

Without well-defined bone structure, your facial features appear less distinct & with a rounder appearance, and it becomes challenging to achieve the desired prominent cheek bone effect.

This is probably the simplest way to get the perfect jawline ; all you have to do is massage your face regularly. A good massage will boost blood circulation and tone your facial structure. Make sure to start massaging from the bottom to the top, to prevent sagging. In case you’re asking yourself if this really works, believe it does. Stay consistent.

Even though you will hear many people say that 5-6 hours of sleep is sufficient for them, it isn’t enough to look your best. Without 8-10 hours of sleep, your body will start looking tired, and your face will look bloated and fluffy. 

· avoid SALT & SUGAR & CARBS

Why? Because salt, sugar & carbohydrates each have distinct effects on your body that contribute to bloating. Refined carbohydrates, as well as excessive sugar intake (particularly added sugars that convert into glucose), can cause blood sugar spikes and subsequently lead to bloating. These substances, such as sugar (glucose), have the ability to draw water from your body or hinder its proper absorption.

· eat POTASSIUM (spinach, kale, sweet potatoes, bananas, avocados, spinach, tomatoes, watermelon)

· do intermittent fasting

· rub an ice cube on your skin in the morning, as ice tightens your skin and helps reduce puffiness.

· drink 3L of water daily

It is very important to prioritize the consumption of a substantial amount of water every day. Water plays a vital role in flushing out sodium from the body, effectively reducing sodium levels. Also, water intake helps regulate the body's water balance, preventing unnecessary water retention that can lead to facial bloating and puffiness.

· do face massages

· contour & bronze your cheeks

· mewing : smile with closed mouth and swallow, don’t force your tongue. It’s about keeping your tongue in the correct position at all times. There is also a bunch of videos on YouTube.

IN SUMMARY

· working out

· intermidate fasting and calorie deficit

· drink a ton of water

· try to eat less salt, sugar, carbs

· eat more potassium (bananas, potatoes...)

· rub an ice cube on your skin

hair

· Kerastase shampoo & conditioner and dyson for styling

· when doing a high ponytail or bun, don’t forget to slick back your baby hairs around your ears

· rinse your conditioner with cold water

(locks in the moisture, makes your hair look smooth, shiny & reduces frizz)

· use a scalp massager 5 minutes

(stimulates & exfoliates the scalp)

· do Aloe Vera hair masks

· use homemade rosemary oil

· microfibre towel - dries your hair x2 faster plus it is so much better than a regular towel! Why? Microfibre treats your hair with care to help prevent frizziness

· add coffee to your shampoo (stimulates and exfoliates the scalp). It’s a great alternative to scalp scrubs

· rice water rinse twice a week

body

The ideal waist to hip ratio backed by science is 0.6. The target 0.6 ratio is ideal and is genetic, so don't blame yourself if your natural physique doesn't fit it. Enhancing it to 0.6 requires hard work & surgery, implants if you're not naturally gifted. 0.6 is ideal and 0.7 is average. It's bone structure / genetic, if you're already slim and don't have 0.6 it's not your fault. You can only get the desired (0.6) by surgery or possibly by extreme diet if you don't have it genetically.

Our bodies as women influences the type of men we attract. You attract and get chased by higher quality, financially well and genetically attractive men. It's because slimness is associated with elegance, higher class and higher social status. It also signals good health and youthfulness and that you respect your body enough to keep it healthy.

Capture body images

Take photos from the front, side, and back angles, along with a face selfie. This step is crucial and can serve as a powerful source of inspiration in the future when you feel demotivated or lose interest.

Measure your weight

I strongly recommend stepping on the scale on day one, the day you genuinely embark on your weight loss journey. This will be another significant step as it helps establish your starting point and, as you make progress, serves as motivation to keep going.

Develop a plan

Whether your plan is to follow a diet (ketogenic diet & intermittent fasting), to get a gym membership or to buy a scale : reflect on your goals and determine what you want to achieve such as how much you want to lose weight. You need to make a plan that you can fully commit to. And get it done.

Portion control

Although what you eat does matter, its about how much of it you eat. You’re going to consume smaller portions of whatever food, but make sure your plate is smaller because it’s all about calorie deficit. Also try to limit snacking as such as you can, because it’s not a little bar that’s going to make you any fuller. For 15 minutes maybe, but at at what cost? Eat proper meals (in smaller plates). But if you really have trouble with restricting yourself to a smaller plate I advise you to eat foods that are voluminous but low in calories. For example one cookie (15g) is small & thin, filled with 150 calories. But on the other hand, 1 kg of lettuce is 150 calories. See the difference? Same calories but different amount.