#i’m gonna make this 80s h6 happen somehow
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harry-leroy · 4 years ago
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Characters from The H6 Cycle as Things I’ve Heard on from Politicians’ Caricatures on Spitting Image
Henry VI- “Don’t you just love being in control?” *Accidentally sets his kitchen on fire*
Bonus Henry VI- “It’s all your fault, John. You let your nerves get the better of you” - “It is not my fault, Norma, it’s the fault of the nerves!”
Extra Bonus Henry VI- “It’s essential that our children learn the difference between right and wrong, good and evil, ethical and unethical, moral and immoral, concise and long-winded, short and one of those rambling sentences that goes on and on and on”
*There were so many I could have used for Henry VI honestly*
Edward IV- “If you vote for me I will scrap the poll tax, and replace it with free beer and sex”
George of Clarence- “I’m really stupid, so I’m looking for a pancreas”
Richard III- “Well I haven’t got a heart” - “Yes, but none of us have got that”
Bonus Richard III- “You did it, didn’t you?” *responds with maniacal laughter*
Richard Duke of York- “Michael, the last thing this country needs is a leadership contest!” - “Right, I’m on my way”
Margaret of Anjou- *throws darts at a picture of her political enemy and lands two darts right in the eyes*
Cecily Neville- “I just spent three years of my life conducting an inquiry proving that you lot can’t be trusted. Now, I hope I can rely on you to not leak any of this information for one whole week,”
Elizabeth Woodville- “I know the herbs are out of alphabetical order, I forgive you”
Humphrey of Gloucester- “I still have the support of my party” *crickets* “Haven’t I?” *more crickets* *cough* “Haven’t I???”
Eleanor Cobham- “Will the honorable bitch queen tell us what she did on her holiday?”
Jack Cade- “Just shut up, peasant! I-I mean comrade...”
Joan of Arc- *government leader electrocuted by Christmas tree lights* “It is a Christmas miracle after all”
Warwick- “Your other tasks are: shove off, clear off, push off, hop off, go away, go right away, shave your silly beard off, buy a new suit, get lost, and never steal my thunder again! I am the clever one!”
Prince Edward- “But I’ve worked the treasury, industry, and unemployment” - “Alright, you can stay up past your bedtime and help us”
Suffolk- “I think we should hear a woman’s voice! I-I mean... a woman voicing her opinion”
Cardinal Beaufort- “There’s far too much religion and not enough Tory politics in here”
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