#i’m glad it hit home for you!! i try to make my stories realistic so!!!!!!!! v happy

[yougotthatbilly]

@smileyerim ima answer some of your questions and clear up a lil confusion in the tags 😘

caught up (m)

→ members: jung jaehyun and na jaemin (ft. make a wish line) → genre: angst, smut → playlist: temptations x ryan trey, kiss it better x rihanna, gave your love away x majid jordan, don’t x bryson tiller, wicked games x kiana ledé → word count: 16k → warnings: toxic relationships (oc is dumb in love & delusional for a while), cheating, manipulation, codependency, unhealthy coping mechanisms, trifling friends, a glimpse of oral, unprotected sex (let’s be safe irl pls), praise, etc. | oc is basically chaotic neutral  ↳summary: Jaemin is all that you want, all that you need, no matter what. But lines get a bit blurry when you’re introduced to his friends.

“And then he almost busted his ass right in front of her.” 

Lucas is embarrassing Shotaro by animatedly telling the story of how Shotaro was trying to be smooth and spit game, yet failed. The man of the hour rolls his eyes, laughing along with everyone else in the kitchen nonetheless, because Lucas is an amazing storyteller. 

“I wish y’all could’ve seen the look on her face, oh my God.”

Jaehyun chuckles, shaking his head, but he’s a bit distracted by his curiosity. 

Lightly hitting Doyoung on the arm to get his attention, he leans into his friend’s side to quietly ask: “Do you know her?”

You’re leaned against the countertop, chest resting atop your folded arms, not much of your body or outfit shown from his angle aside from the brown turtleneck and the gold jewelry on your wrists, neck, and ears. Completely engaged in what the tall male is telling everyone, you smile and nod, nose scrunching when you laugh. 

“Nope,” Doyoung answers with a shrug. “She’s pretty, though.”

Jaehyun scoffs. “She’s gorgeous.”

Before Doyoung can say anything else, Jaemin walks up behind you, hands on your hips. You stand and press your back against his chest, your smile getting more sedated and eyes drooping a little as you rest the back of your head on Jaemin’s shoulder. He whispers something into your ear, lips brushing against the lobe, and then you’re rolling your eyes, the curve of your lips never dropping. 

Doyoung really does try to keep his laughter in. Jaehyun side-eyes his friend when things get more intimate, Jaemin kissing your temple. Feels like he’s intruding at this point.

Keep reading

[8beats-per-minute]

‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️MUTANT MAYHEM SPOILERSS ‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️

DO NOT READ IF YOU HAVENT SEEN IT AND DONT WANT SPOILERS

Okay now with that out of the way, my thoughts on the movie

I really enjoyed it.

I went to see it with a few friends and one of them made a really good point. They actually act like teenagers. Like yes, it was kinda cringey at some parts but that’s because it sounded like something a teenager would say because teenagers are awkward.

I’ve had very stupid conversations with my friends that sound like the conversations in the movie.

I noticed that this movie did the “teen talk” a lot better than I’m pretty sure all other versions of tmnt (in my opinion), even better than rise I think. Most others sound like adults writing teenagers and it sounds good most of the time but others it sounds weird.

Now for the main reason I made this post: April and Leo.

I was kind of dreading this when I saw in the trailers Leo would be interested in her (2012 April and Donnie flashbacks) but it was well done. I am a bit tired of April being a love interest for the turtles but I think it’s important to include that April is black, plus size and has acne and how Leo described her as “the most beautiful girl he’s ever seen”. Unfortunately the qualities she has aren’t shown very often to be attractive because of bs beauty standards.

It’s late so I can’t fully explain what I’m trying to say so disclaimer in case I didn’t come across this way: I don’t think that being black, plus size or having acne makes you not pretty, you are, just society sometimes says that and society is stupid.

April and Leo are cute together and written well and there is no “one of them is obsessed and the other is leading them on” going on. The fact that they end the movie looking into TCRI is adorable to me. My fav investigator duo.

Also Leo is an absolute dork. The whole phone call scene: “it’s a date then!” “Wait what a date?” “Uhhh *cue fumbling and wrestling for the phone* uhh nothing bad service byeee! Who’s got no rizz now?” Like Leo you are bad at this oh my god. (Again awkward teenager stuff)

And his bothers teasing him was so funny. They did not let that slide and teased him at every opportunity. Classic sibling behaviour

The tease for shredder was fun and I can’t wait to see what they do with him and his backstory.

Best Splinter. I love him so much. I love his whole “hating humans” arc and how he paralleled superfly and how he CHOSE to not be like him.

Both superfly and splinter have a very understandable fear (that turned into hate) of humans and how they both thought that the best way to protect their families were to hold their family too tight.

While splinter hid from the world and his fear pushed him into hiding and laying low, superfly’s fear caused him to lash out and take out his anger in a destructive way.

But splinter getting a girlfriend at the end was so cute he deserves this.

Also side note: why did so many turtles almost get hit by cars in this movie? Specifically Mikey.

He almost got hit in the flashback, then in the garage, then in the final battle with the flying cars. Then Donnie also almost got hit, I think just before they were captured but I’m not sure.

When they had to leave the movie and walked home really sadly and kept looking at the humans longingly I legit almost cried.

I was kind of surprised they ended up actually going to school and everyone was accepting. I thought they’d be like “we don’t need humans to accept us cause we accept ourselves” but I’m glad they got to go to school. They deserve it.

Also April being super upfront with them about if they didn’t save her she’d probably be running screaming was so funny. Also how she was planning to release a story about them while knowing humans probably wouldn’t accept them was a very realistic thing.

I loved April so much by the way. The way she fucking chucked the news mic into the crowd was iconic.

The fight scenes were SOOOO AMAZING I LOVED THEM SO MUCH. The splitting between the 4 (I think) fights at the same time and every other fight scene were so well done. Them figuring out that they skills they learned for years actually work in a fight and how they’re awesome at it was adorable to watch. And the way in the beginning how they were using their skills to steal get groceries was great.

All the turtles up from every version are good fighters (in their own ways) but these versions are definitely up there with how skilled and how well they work as a team. Love them.

AND THE TURTLES SHARING A ROOM AND BUNK BEDS WAS ADORABLE. It’s so funny cause later they were like “yea we have so much space to hold the 6 or 7 other mutants in our house on short notice we have lots of space!” Which means they chose to share a room with is adorable and a little bit unrealistic lol.

It seemed like a pretty realistic movie and I have bullet points of the least realistic parts (excluding the mutant animals cause duh). And this is just me being picky lol, I still loved this movie and these are just jokes.

The fact that they wrote nice things on aprils locker at the end of the movie

(Pointed out by my friend). She went from being puke girl to April O’hero. They would probably stop teasing her since she was friends with the most popular kids in the city but the 2 most likely outcomes would be

1. They just stopped and then left the insults on there, maybe scratched them out

2. Wiped off the locker and never spoke of it again

No one writes nice things on other peoples lockers lol

The boys want to share a room

I guarantee if 4 teenage brothers had a choice between sharing bunk beds and each having their own rooms, they’d have their own rooms.

Imagine arguing with your sibling and you don’t have your own room to sulk and avoid them? By choice??? People need their own spaces. No matter how much I love my siblings if I shared a room with them it’d be chaos.

There would be one prank done in that room to one of their beds and that’d be the end of the shared room lol

The fact that everyone unquestionably liked them (especially at school)

Kids are assholes. That’s it.

AGAIN this is just things I thought were unrealistic in a funny way, it’s a kids movie so it’s not that deep.

This was definitely one of my favourite versions of tmnt (I haven’t seen all of them but still). It was a good mix of serious and goofy and I liked it a lot. I recommend seeing it, I want to watch it again lol

[adibkhorram]

Dear Mr Khorram,

I recently read one of your books, Darius the Great Is Not Okay, and I’m so glad that I did. I had heard talk of the book floating around and I never knew why, but now that I’ve read it, I’m incredibly grateful that I did. Reading about Darius’ experience with his culture, his family, and his depression hit me right in the heart, as I have gone through very similar things. Seeing someone else go through things that I’ve gone through makes me feel so much less alone, and even if it’s still hard, I know that it’s a feeling that I can share with others.

Originally, I read this book as a way to look into another perspective, a type of ‘window,’ but the more I read, the more I saw myself in Darius. I understand how he feels when his father seems disappointed in him all the time for things he can’t control, because I’ve been through that too. My parents don’t always understand that sometimes the best I can do is just getting up and staying awake. Being excluded from the group, dealing with bullies that target you for things you don’t have control over, and struggling to understand what you’re supposed to do when you’re around others isn’t too far from home. It made me sad to realize that Darius and myself had gone through very similar situations.

More than that, I saw myself in Darius’ experience trying to connect with his culture. My family comes from many different places, and I’ve never been as connected as I’d like to be. I didn’t even know about part of my heritage until I was older, since my parents never talked about it. The lack of knowledge made me feel like I couldn’t really claim the culture as my own. Darius’ hesitancy to engage in things and his uncertainty about how to talk with other people in Iran, felt like someone had taken my anxieties right out of my brain and put them onto a page, just with a different background. It makes sense that plenty of people feel that way, especially when you’re the child of an immigrant, but it still was very special to see that struggle represented.

The thing that was maybe most impactful to me was Darius’ connection with his grandfather. I lost my grandfather around a year ago, and since he lived in Germany, I didn’t get to see him as much as I would have liked. I also had to leave knowing that I wouldn’t get to visit my grandfather again, and I’ll admit that I cried a bit reading that part of the book. Losing someone is always hard, but knowing that you won’t be able to go visit them again hurts. Losing someone hurts even more when it feels like you haven’t had enough time with them. The way that you talked about Darius’ feelings hit me right in the gut, and I still haven’t fully gotten over it.

Darius’ story was a reflection of mine in so many ways, and I’m forever grateful that I took the chance and read your book. It was a book that I will probably think about for some time to come. Darius’ struggles with his mental health, with connecting to his culture, and with knowing that he won’t get to see his grandfather again all painted a very realistic portrait of teenage life, and I’m glad that I read the book. Congratulations on your newest book! I hope to hear back from you. It would be awesome to get a ‘letter’ back from an author I admire, and my teacher promised me extra credit points if I got a response back, although I was not expecting this to be done through a tumblr ask.

Sincerely,

Tobie

Hi Tobie,

Thank you so much for your lovely message. I'm so honored you saw yourself in Darius's story, and I hope it was a balm to you through your own rough times. I wrote it for folks who feel like you do—and like I do too, tbh.

I'm sorry to hear about your grandfather passing away. Mine are both long gone, but I think of them often, especially my Iranian one, who went through so much in his life but, in his later years, was more content than maybe any person I've ever known. He would sit on the porch of my aunt's house (where he lived), looking at the garden and the sunlight, and say "Khaylee khoob" (very good) to himself.

I hope you're taking care of yourself as best you can. And I hope, like Darius, you find the people that love you for who you are.

Yours,

Adib

[qingxin-dream]

"Just One Good Thing" hits too close to home OMG 🥹🥹🥹

I apologize if I get too personal here, but in an interesting way, it made me think back to the times I cut myself to "punish" myself whenever I messed up something, or whenever an inconvenience happened. I'm way past that now, but when the story mentioned something about Wanderer and the Reader arguing a lot of times, for some reason, it made me think of my big sis who has a somewhat similar personality to Wanderer. She's kinda hard to talk to, and even with the little things, she raises her voice at me. I wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt and not dwell so much about it, but it just made me feel unsure whether someone is being sincere with their actions, whether they genuinely care for me or just trying to make me feel better/tolerate me. And that reflected in how I see the Wanderer now. With the way he's so roundabout/dishonest with his words, I oftentimes doubt if I should self-ship to him, if my F/O loves me at all, because I may be too thin-skinned for him.

Simply put: your fanfic touched me on deep levels, and I admire you for it! I hope you make a part two🙏🏻

aw, anon, thank you so much. i would’ve responded privately, but tumblr doesn’t allow it for anonymous asks.

i appreciate your candid reply because mental health is so important, and i’m glad that my little fic was something you could hopefully find a bit of comfort in. i am also happy that it sounds like you’ve been able to heal! <3

in my opinion, self-ship with who you want! that’s part of the fun, even if it isn’t 100% realistic.😊

as the wanderer, scara is still pretty blunt with his words (unless he’s trying to purposely tease you) and he would definitely let someone know if he didn’t like them. but he is also learning to accept himself and nahida is there to encourage him to be open-minded towards humans.

i really think he wouldn’t mind if you were thin-skinned.

wanderer would find you worthy of protecting and keeping safe, i have no doubt about it! he would just show that he cares about you more so through his actions, because verbalizing his emotions is too complicated sometimes.

[ciaossu-imagines]

Thank you so much and I feel the same. Seeing messages from you always brightens my day (be it here or in DMs). Also thanks for saying that I’m interesting. Black Cat has been on my To Watch List for so long now so I’ll be looking forward to seeing them when I finally get to watching it. And I recently added Kekkaishi to my list and like always have no idea when I’ll get to it but I’m also looking forward to seeing Rokurou and seeing what he’s like. And wow, by hand 😮 That’s amazing. I’ve only ever written my stories on my computer so I can’t even imagine the dedication, especially since my brain so often goes faster than my hands and it’s already difficult enough typing as fast as I’m thinking, so writing would have been extra difficult. Way to go you. And I’m glad that you’ve gotten healthier with the self-shipping and it’s so nice and cool that you lean more towards polyshipping when it comes down to your faves. I’ve never done that before even though as you’ve seen I do have multiple faves but considering I know myself and my faves I know that it’s highly unlikely I would be able to be with any of them because of our differences and I’m alright with that because I like seeing them for who they are on the screen and that’s enough for me. Also, I write my own fanfiction and always give them the perfect girl so that’s also nice. The only person I would have a chance with, not only in K but also out of all of my favourite guys, is Bandō (I think, still not great because of my great terribleness with words and I wouldn’t be able to reassure him the way I want like I do in my stories) and that’s more than enough for me so I’m happy with that.

That’s really cool. I don’t tend to deep dive all that much unless it’s necessary for my writing or something like that. For me I just watch the series (or read it) and as I’m consuming it I’m looking at all these characters and am taking in everything they do and say and that eventually gives me a good enough image of them (I feel like image is the wrong word here but I for the life of me cannot come up with the correct word so image it is). And then with that my heart decides weather I like / love them, dislike, hate or feel nothing towards them. And yes to some villains being terrific characters. I saw that you mentioned Naruto in the past so I’ll say that Deidara is my fave of the series. I had multiple faves in the past but out of all of them, he stayed so that’s nice because he’s just so fun and is like you’ve said before about other characters stupid-smart. I see. That does sound difficult. I hope these people become easier to deal with as time goes on. I’d say you still deserve my admiration because you grew from those experiences. You were a teen, still a child, learning about so much and you didn’t have the best people around you so it makes sense and it’s alright. And you grew from that and now know that violence isn’t the best option in those cases. Also sending a virtual comforting hug in your direction.

Way to go you 👏 And yeah, I saw that you said you deleted two in your announcement post. If any of them were mine, I’m sorry. Either way, sometimes ideas aren’t there and it’s okay even if it’s such a shame. And I’m glad you know who I am. I feel like I’m not very subtle so it makes sense. With Yata I’m not surprised since I’ve written essays about him, but even Bandō? Wow. Do you still remember what I said that made you look at Bandō in a new light?

Of course 💕 And gods, that bit about having to delete some good stuff that you’re attached to hit so close to home. I, some time ago, wrote a chapter that had everything it needed (guys being good friends (even saying they love each other), one of my OC’s social anxiety being shown in an unexpected setting, just overall good character and relationship stuff) but after some research I realised that that chapter didn’t make any sense for what I wanted to write (because I try to be as realistic as possible when I can) so I had to get rid of that chapter. Luckily I managed to write another one which had most of the same elements in it but it will never be that first version of the chapter and that’s such a shame. And yeah, very understandable. Especially since you write for so many fandoms. ‘Your brain is coming up with so many things that it’s hard to remember to get them all down in the rush of writing them down’ is such an attack that I didn’t need first thing in the morning but yes, true. My brain is constantly active, constantly thinking of things. Mostly it’s story ideas but sometimes all other things. Not only that but sometimes my brain jumps from one idea to the other because a thought made me think of something else so I go back to my room thinking about something entirely different than when I left. And yes to all of your ideas. For me when it comes down to the Bandō and Shōhei question, I think it’s a possibility that it just happened because Shōhei dropped out of school and went to live his life outside of it while Bandō finished his education and neither contacted the other. That’s all I have. Also since you mentioned Chitose and Dewa, I would have also liked to have actually seen his past with this girl that broke up with him because of how ill she was. And gods, Eric’s past would have been so heartbreaking but since I love Eric, I would totally watch it. And also yes to Yata and Kamamoto’s story because they’re so smol and it would have been so cute. It would also be interesting to see what made Kamamoto want to follow Yata at first. And all of those things about the Blues also would be interesting to see. Thank you 😀 They came to mind at some point when I was rereading those chapters and I’d do anything for answers. Though also what I’m interested in is Bandō at a young age, just to see what he looked like as a child. We got young Shōhei at different points in the past but no Bandō and that’s really such a shame.

Thank you. And thank you, it was. You did break my heart with that Eric story but I really enjoyed it so it was alright. The Mikoto bit at the end was especially beautiful. I also watched the last episode of the latest season of Demon Slayer and that was great. It was 51 minutes, so much longer than usual and since I didn’t know it would be that long, it was a very pleasant surprise. I also cried a decent amount. It’s amazing because even though I knew what was going to happen in a way, it was still emotional. Also, there’s this funny thing when it comes down to Genya (the other boy at the selection finale who was aggressive towards the young girls) is that his face always goes bright red when it comes down to girls. He’s worse than Yata and it’s so cute (though he’s a teen so more understandable). I’ll miss it because even though I wouldn’t consider it some grand masterpiece or something, I still always really enjoy it. But next season has some more scenes of my fave, Sanemi, so I’m just looking forward to that now. Also, there’s a promotional art of him with the same picture of him on one of my manga volumes which is just such a treat 😊

C

Aww, that always makes me feel so happy to hear you say that, so thank you! That was definitely needed as today was a rather stressful day at work, combined with a therapy session right after! And you are definitely interesting, so of course I’d say it. And I read Black Cat, and have seen the anime but don’t remember much of the actual anime itself. I loved the manga though! I hope if you ever get around to watching it that you enjoy it! And I’m sad to say if you just watch Kekkaishi, you’ll never get to see my boy Rokurou, I don’t really think! I’m pretty sure the anime stopped right after Gen’s arc, so they didn’t really animate a lot of the characters I love!

I don't think the manga ever gets to this point and I know that he looks really unbishie to everyone, but I really love the little angry wind man, and he has a really fantastic plot line in the manga and I couldn't help but root for him. He seems like a jackass at first, but he's one of those characters who really do have a good heart deep down and I love that about him.

And yep – by hand. Fun fact but your writer here actually grew up really poor and my house didn’t get a computer or even steady cable television (we watched a lot of VHS tapes and cheap DVD’s or stole satellite channels via connections who knew how to do so). So a whole lot of my early writing was done by hand, and it’s still how I drabble out a lot of my outlines and interconnecting thoughts about things. But I know what you mean about the brain going faster than my hands. I have an absolutely amazing typing speed, having broken the 100 wpm barrier during my transcription training, and even I sometimes have trouble keeping up with all the words flowing through my head. As for polyshipping…I have to admit that if it wasn’t for some self-esteem and abandonment issues I still need to work through, I do lean more on the polyamorous side myself, so it kind of feels more natural to me, though I do realize and completely understand why some people wouldn’t be cool with it or feel comfortable doing so. And while I share a lot of your feelings in that I don’t believe a lot of my faves would want to be with me (because again, self-esteem issues), I definitely do try positive reinforcements that way and I’m going to tell you the same thing and do the same for you, because I definitely do think your favourite characters would love you! Every single one of them, whether as a friend or as a romantic partner! I personally do ship you with Yata a little more than Bandou, but I could also see Bandou and you working out, though it would be a lot more of a slow burn and there’d be a couple more hiccups in the way!

I love deep diving and tend to get obsessed with characters frequently, though they shift all the time, and my brain constantly thinks all about them, what their pasts could be like, what they might be like in this or that situation, why they are the way they are, what little quirks they have…it’s really why, other than the joy of writing for my lovely constant readers, I write this imagines blog, because it’s a healthy way to allow myself those obsessions! And I do love Deidara, but I plain out loved all the Akatsuki…like, there wasn’t one of them where I was like…yeah, yeah, can you please just get out of the scene for a little bit, you’re boring me. They were all really fun and each one of them had interesting little quirks and behaviours that made them nice to watch or read for their scenes. And thank you for saying that! I’ve been relying on a lot of emails lately for the really difficult ones instead of phone calls because it really is a lot easier, so coward’s way out it is! As long as the work gets done, I’m cool with waiting a little longer for information! And virtual hug received, appreciated, and returned!

I honestly don’t know if either was yours because I don’t rightly remember if they had usernames attached or not. I know for sure one wasn’t because it wasn’t for a fandom we share but the other, I’m not sure about but either way, no need to be sorry. It’s on me for not being able to come up with good ideas! And it’s less subtlety and more that I feel we’ve talked enough to have gotten used to each other’s favourites and some of each other’s vocal ticks. And yep, even Bandou! I know you’ve kind of influenced some of my relationship Bandou takes, through reading your stories and kind of talking to you about him in general.

And yes, exactly! I’m so glad someone else understands that feeling. Like you love it so much, but it just doesn’t work like it should! And yeah…honestly, I probably write for way too many fandoms, I think, but I just have so many different things I really love! And yep – attack not needed but it’s something we share in common, so I really do enjoy that trait of yours because I feel like it helps me understand you better! I have specific pills I take if I find my mind getting too bad, because sometimes I have what feels like a million and one things going on in my head and my brain is telling my body that they all have to get done right this second, and my body gets stressed and kind of shuts down and has a panic attack. I call them my ‘reboot’ pills because I feel that’s literally what it’s doing. Rebooting my brain, haha! I honestly want GORA and GoHands to stop doing all the other projects they’ve been involved with and just go back to K because they need to tell all these stories and explore all these things because they have so much more to work with and tell but I also know that I’d really hope for them mostly to be manga, because I genuinely found the manga spin-offs had better art and pacing, or even light novels for the same reasoning. Until they do though, I guess I’m going to have to be stuck playing it all out in my head, haha!

And I’m actually really glad that my Eric story got the positive response it did because I was worried someone would call me out on it being cliché, though I kind of liked it…I’m always going to love anything that gives me a chance to write out and outright angst though, haha. And wow! Was it an extended episode because it was the season finale?? Either way, that’s not something a lot of series do so that is really cool, though I’m sorry because it sounds like it was definitely angsty! And now I kind of feel you gotta share that promo art, because I definitely want to see it!

[the-bau-quinjet]

Tolerate It

Summary: Reader struggles with feeling like Hotch is growing distant.

Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x gn!Reader

Category: fluff/angst

Warnings: the reader has thoughts/feelings of inadequacy

Word Count: 3200+

Notes: This is my entry for @railmereid‘s 2k writing challenge! It was inspired by Taylor Swift’s song tolerate it! I think there’s only one direct quote (I’m begging for footnotes in the story of your life). 

You met Aaron on accident. It could be said that a lot of people are met on accident, and that’s just how people meet other people. But with Aaron it felt different. It felt as though every little thing that went wrong that day lead you to the accident that would introduce Aaron Hotchner into your life.

After the shit show that was today, all you want to do is get home and sleep. Maybe also eat dinner, but honestly even food is on the backburner of your mind right now. 

Your drive home from work was the first uneventful thing to happen all day, a necessary moment of peace. You made it into your apartment without any trouble, swiftly moving to change into your fluffiest pajamas and sleep.

The second your head hit your pillow, the fire alarm sounded. The blaring alarm screeched in your ears as you groaned. You forced yourself out of bed to comply with the alarm. Without thinking, you put on your slippers, grabbed your keys, and walked out the front door. 

Once you made it to the street, you turned to see the building really was on fire. It looked contained to one patio, but it was big enough for you to give up your plans of sleep. Instead, you chose to turn on your heel and walk down the street to escape the crowd. 

You didn’t have a plan as to where you were going. You just wanted it to be quiet. Before long, you found yourself in a park. Looking around, you spotted an empty bench. Perfect. You can just sit, enjoy the quiet of the park for however long it takes to fix the fire issue. 

You start trekking toward the bench, now walking with a purpose, when you notice a man chasing his child. The child laughs loudly, joy so clear on his face. The man smiles at him, still running behind him. 

His smile is so infectious, it has its own magnetic force pulling you towards him.  Switching directions from the bench, you are now walking toward the grassy area they are playing in, not looking at your surroundings. You’re so captivated by the happiness on display in front of you, you don’t notice the change in terrain. 

You end up tripping on a rock, falling and tumbling down the slight decline to land in a heap at the feet of the very man whose smile distracted you.

To make matters worse, he was not stationary. No, that would have been to simple. He was, in fact, still chasing the child. So, rather than rolling to a stop and looking up at him, you rolled right into him, causing him to lose his balance and fall over you. 

The two of you were a tangled mess of limbs piled on top of each other. Slowly, carefully the two of you separated, gingerly moving arms and legs to avoid further injury. Helping each other rise from the ground, you were both speechless, equal parts amused and horrified at what just happened. 

“Are you okay?” 

You jumped at the sudden intrusion that brought you back to reality. Spinning around, you realized it was the child. 

It took you an embarrassing amount of time to form a response. “Oh, um... yes I’m okay. Thank you.” Turning back to the man, you finally realized what just happened. “Oh my god. I’m so sorry! Are you okay?”

He chuckled, a small smirk appearing on his face before he replied, “Yeah, I’m fine.”

“Oh, good.” Your relief was short lived as you realized what you were wearing and how you were dressed. “Please tell me you didn’t see me roll all the way down the hill?” You cringed at the thought. 

“I could say it, but it wouldn’t be very honest.”  Again, a small laugh left his lips. 

“Do you think we could pretend?” You took a deep breath as he quirked his eyebrow. “Ya know, that I didn’t just make a complete fool of myself?”

“But that’s not true! Daddy said when something’s not true it’s a lie and lies are bad.” The boy chimed in again, earning a chuckle from both adults. You bent down to talk to him. 

“You are absolutely right, lying is bad.” You nodded along with him, matching his serious expression. 

He took in your expression, as if judging the sincerity of your statement. Slowly, a smile began to form as if he was glad you agreed with him. “Do you want to play tag with us?”

Looking from him to his father, you took the slight smile and nod of his head as an invitation to accept his offer. “I would love to.”

That series of accidents led you to where you are now, though. A year and a half later you are sitting in your shared home, watching Aaron Hotchner do paperwork for what feels like the millionth night in a row. More realistically, it is the ninth night in a row, but you’re feeling lonely and dramatic. Those nine nights have been spread out over the past month, interrupted by nights he spends away from home.

You yearn to be closer to him. All it would take is for you to cross the room, but it feels as though the distance from the couch you are lounging on to the desk he is working at is too far, like there is some impassible divide preventing you from interrupting him. 

So you just keep watching. It has been 36 minutes since you started your observing. If he sticks to his pattern, he’ll pause in nine minutes to stretch, giving him the opportunity to notice your eyes on him.  You’re hopeful that this time he’ll smile when he sees you. 

So you wait. You watch him read. You notice the way his head dips just a bit lower as he tries to focus tired eyes on the smudged handwriting of a fellow agent. You notice how his hand squeezes the pen tighter than before, turning the once smooth glide of ink across the page into rushed, jagged strokes of letters. You notice the barely there wince as he flips the page, the result of the familiar feeling of a paper cut he’s grown all too used to. You notice everything he does. Which is why you’re not surprised when he speaks. 

“You’re staring.” 

Glancing at your phone, you note the time. Nine minutes later. Right on schedule. The smile you hoped for is noticeably missing, replaced by a curious tilt of his head.

“I’m basking in your presence.” 

If he wanted to, he could figure out how lonely and dramatic you are feeling. But with the majority of his energy still directed towards the many reports on his desk, he only notices the surface level. Tired, slightly miffed, but enjoying that he is home.

There was once a time when he would have noticed it all though. A time when he noticed everything about you, sometimes before you had even noticed it about yourself. You’ve learned how to hide it though, to save him the energy that would be expended to profile you. 

“You should consider a new career path. Comedy could really be for you.”

His deadpan joke doesn’t surprise you, but him rising from his desk chair does. For a minute, you expect him to come to you. To attempt to cross the impassible divide you’ve built in your head. Instead, he turns into the kitchen. He pauses at the island, drinking from the glass he never brings to his desk to prevent anything from ruining his files. 

When he returns to his desk, squandering any lingering hope that he may have been done for the night, you rise. Unwilling to do what you had hoped of him, you turn away from his desk and move toward the stairs. Just before you lose sight of him, you turn back. 

“Don’t forget to sleep tonight.” 

Your tone is soft, emphasizing your concern to cover up the lingering loneliness. 

“I’ll be up soon.”

You respond with a slight nod of your head, another thing unnoticed by Aaron as his eyes never left the files. 

You flitter through the second level as you complete your routine to prepare yourself to sleep for the night. 

You can’t help but notice the cold sheets on the empty side of the bed as you wait for Aaron, knowing you’ll likely be asleep before he comes to bed. 

--

You’re surprised to wake up the next morning with Aaron still in bed next to you. You watch his chest rise and fall with the steady in and out of his breath. His face is fully relaxed, a sight you so rarely get to see. 

You’re not sure how long you watch him sleep, but you notice when his rhythmic breathing changes pattern indicating he’s waking up. His eyes flutter open slowly, allowing you to see the exact moment he notices you. 

“You’re staring again.” 

The smile you are still hoping for is again absent from his face, too used to the frown that has taken over his features near permanently for the past month.  

“I’m still basking in your presence.”

You notice the beginnings of a grin forming on his face. The twinkle in his eyes. The slight twitch of his lips. It’s nearly there when the moment is interrupted by the distinct, shrill ringtone indicating a call from the bureau. 

You watch as he sits up to answer the phone with his typical “Hotchner”. If you hadn’t spent the last year noticing everything you could about the man, you would doubt that he had been asleep less than three minutes ago. 

His brows furrow, his body leaning forward to sit a little straighter as he takes in the information from whoever is on the other end of the phone. His eyes trace the pattern of your comforter, up until he throws the blanket off of himself to rise to his feet. He’s changing into his suit before hanging up. Without even hearing his responses, you can tell where this is headed. 

After he hangs up, you speak before he has the chance. 

“I take it you won’t be here for dinner with my parents tonight? I’ll try to reschedule it.” 

The question should express your loneliness, but you do well to hide the full truth. It’s easy to sound understanding because you are. You do understand, which is why you never plan to tell him how you feel. 

The grim expression is enough for you to know you’re right, you don’t need the verbal confirmation. You nod your head, a smile on your face that doesn’t meet your eyes as he walks out of your bedroom. 

--

While Aaron was away, you did everything you could to keep yourself busy outside of your typical 9 to 5 workday. Aside from the typical reading, cleaning, and TV watching you normally do you; you successfully navigated another conversation with your parents about why it was necessary to reschedule dinner a second time and played action figures with Jack, always in agreement about how his daddy is a hero. 

Every night you found yourself staring at the door, hoping it would swing open and reveal him on the other side. Every night you grew less hopeful and more discouraged than the one previous. 

--

Five days after he left, Aaron returned to your shared home. Despite the late hour, you waited for him on the couch. Knowing he probably hadn’t eaten dinner, you kept some food warm for him. 

When the door swung open, you were in front of it in seconds. You pulled him into a hug, one he was too exhausted to reciprocate, and kissed his cheek. 

Moving farther into the house, he dropped his files on his desk swiftly turning to head upstairs. 

“I kept dinner warm for you.”

Your words stalled him at the bottom of the stairs. He turned around slowly, barely looking at you.

“I actually ate with the team tonight.”

His words hit you like a bus, but you turned to hide it. He didn’t eat with the team often, so you never blamed him when he stayed with them a bit longer than usual. 

“Oh, okay. I’ll just put it in a container for tomorrow then. Did you want to talk about the case?”

You’ve always been willing to help him carry the weight of his job, but you’ve been trying harder to get him to open up this past month. Typically he brushes you off, tells you he’s fine, and then buries himself in paperwork. 

He surprised you this time. Maybe he could tell you were upset, or maybe he was just too far in his head. Either way, rather than continuing on his path up the stairs, he moved to sit in the kitchen while you put the food away. 

You listened as he ranted about the local officers withholding information about the case. You listened as he complained about the poor weather. You listened to every word, slowly washing and drying the dishes until they were sparkling. You listened until you were practically asleep, leaning against the sink. You didn’t dare to interrupt in fear he would shut down again. Or maybe it was you shutting down, but that’s a thought for another time. 

When he finished talking, he rose from his chair, too worked up to sleep now, he sat down at his desk. 

You watched, noticing everything you could. 

--

Your weeks repeated much the same for the next few months. Your loneliness morphed into something new with each night you spent watching Aaron work. 

It’s one such night when everything changes. You were trying to watch him work, but your thoughts drifted away from his actions as you lost yourself in your memories. 

The first case Aaron went on after you moved in with him and Jack was the hardest for you. After a straight week of seeing him so often around the house, it felt like a slap in the face to come home and not have him there. Somehow you made it through, and you were clingier than usual when he came home. 

He noticed how it affected you. That was before you started hiding your feelings from him. He told you he thought about you in every spare moment. That he wanted to solve the case even more than usual just so he could come home to see you even just a few minutes sooner.

He calmed all of your fears, protecting you from your own intrusive thoughts about holding him back when he was working. 

You couldn’t help but think about every time he recognized how you were feeling and did what he could to help. How he would reassure you that he wanted to be with you, bringing you little key chains or stuffed animals from the cities he travelled to. How he would smile when he saw you. Where was that man now? 

You thought back to the first day you met Aaron. It was like he saved you from a terrible day, bringing a smile to your face after hours upon hours of crap. 

“Do you think we could pretend?” You laugh lightly to yourself at the memory of Jack telling you not to lie.  Not realizing you spoke the words out loud, you’re surprised to hear Aaron from across the room.

“Pretend what?” The confusion is clear in his voice and the furrow of his brows. 

“Hmm? Oh, um. I was just thinking about the first day we met.” Tears begin to brim your eyes as you think about how much everything has seemed to change. “And how you became my whole world and now I feel like I’m begging for footnotes in the story of your life.” The tears are now freely falling down your face. 

Aaron looks even more confused now. “What?” He’s frozen at his desk, pen in hand, reports on the surface in front of him. 

“I’m so sorry. I just feel like I’m taking up so much of your time and you have such important things to do! God, I’m so selfish. I’ve tried so hard to hide it though, so you can focus on people who actually need your help.” The panic in your voice grows as you speak, along with the tears falling from your eyes. 

“Y/N...” Suddenly, Aaron is on his feet, easily crossing the imaginary divide you’ve built in between the couch and his desk. He slows down, moving gently as he pulls you into him on the couch, moving your legs across his lap so he could pull you into his chest. “Sweetheart, you could never take up too much of my time.” He speaks slowly, so as not to start another round of sobbing. 

“What?” Your confusion is clearly communicated with the one word question, but you’re on a roll with your feelings so why stop now. “Are you saying it’s all in my head? Bu-, but, but you’ve been so busy every time you’ve been home! I’ve barely seen you, and I’ve tried so hard to not let it bother me because I know how important what you do is! I do, I understand it all so much. I could never be mad at you for working so hard. I just feel like you’re tolerating me being here when you have so many more important things to do.” 

Now breathless, your rant ends with more tears forming in your eyes. Aaron is quick to wipe them away as they fall. “You’re right. I have been busy.” His voice is full of concern and regret as he thinks about the past few months. “But please don’t ever doubt for a second that you are the most important thing in the world to me.” He pauses for a second before continuing. “Well, other than Jack.” This earns him a slight chuckle from you before you reply. 

“Jack is the most important to me too.” Your clear your throat, hesitant to voice your next question. “You’re not mad at me?”

Aaron looks so taken aback, you would laugh if you weren’t so nervous. “I could never be mad at you. Especially not for having completely valid feelings. I’m so sorry I haven’t been as present as I should’ve been. I love you so much, Y/N. More than I could ever put into words, and I will be doing a better job of showing you just how much you mean to me from now on.” There’s a slight edge to his voice, as though he’s annoyed with himself for you feeling this way. “Please, don’t ever hide your feelings from me. I never want to lose you.” His own voice is cracking, slight tears in his eyes at the idea of you not being in his life. 

“I promise.” You lean up to kiss him, trying to convey just how much you’ve missed him. 

“Let’s go to bed.” He lifts you up from the couch, carrying you toward the stairs. 

You shriek, clinging to him even more. “It’s only 9:15!” You laugh at his antics. “What about your reports?”

“I have more important things to do right now.” He smirks at you, quickly moving into the bedroom to show you just how much he cares about you. 

permanent tag list:

@mac99martin @goldeng1rl8 @measure-in-pain

[mono-dot-jpeg]

the antarctic idiots [pt. 2] - c!technoblade

summary; in which two anarchist piglins adopt an ender boy.

genre; child! ranboo, piglin hybrid! reader, slight canon divergence from dream smp, fluff, found family au is my shit, reader is now ranboo’s parent i don’t make the rules, techno is a grumpy father but it’s okay you love him, realistic minecraft? (idk how to describe it-)

pairing; c! technoblade x reader, platonic! ranboo x reader

word count; 1.3k

< previous - next >

a/n; yall here me out, i open my ask box to have you guys talk to the characters of the antarctic idiots,,, i just really wanna act in character, i love doing that kind of stuff kshdskjdf

i don’t completely know how it would work, but, i wanna do it someday maybe.

also, if you’re too lazy to look at my masterlist for this series or you just wanna see everything related to this story, use the #antarctic idiots tag! and if you have anything to share with me about it, tag me!

“i’ll take your word on that, y/n.”

“you should trust my words from the start, wilbur.” you commented, your voice light and teasing. “but i don’t blame you, you lost a lot after l’manburg’s citizens betrayed you.”

“they did not betray me.” 

“yes, yes, my bad.” you hummed.

“are we allies or enemies, y/n?”

“ally, enemy? i say neither. i was forced into this after all. what with that favor of yours.” you pointed out, he couldn’t even be mad at your response, he knew that you never wanted to be put in a war like this. “i may be part of pogtopia but my intentions are not the same. i will be clear that i’m only here to fight and then i will be taking my leave after this revolution.”

“yes, of course, understood.”

“now, just because we’re friends doesn’t mean i’m gonna train you with the easy stuff. you used to a president, soot, show me what you can really do. you’re stronger than you let on.” 

“i don’t expect anything less from you.”

“come on wilbur, you fought in a war, you should’ve been at least a bit stronger.” you muttered to the man before handing his some wraps to bandage his small wounds.

“i put up quite the fight though didn’t i?” he commented, starting to fix up his injuries.

“yeah, you did. you’ve certainly changed since the last time we fought.”

“techno has taught me quite a lot.”

“how do you know techno?” you asked curiously. 

“he’s my older brother, twin. actually.” you blinked. “yeah i know, we’re not really alike.”

“yeah, you’re a boar hybrid and he’s a piglin hybrid...”

“our mom is a samsung refrigerator, we don’t understand anything of how we existed.”

“fair enough..” you don’t question wilbur’s origins anymore, soon turning the conversation, “so you and techno grew up together?”

“yeah, we trained a lot together and now he’s a total master at fighting, but that’s thanks to our father.” wilbur smiled a bit, thinking about the old times. “maybe you guys should try and train together next time.” 

“i don’t think we will anytime soon. he seems rather busy with gathering resources.” you said, sitting next to wilbur as you put your pendant back on your shirt. “plus if he’s so well versed, i don’t think he’ll need any help from me. anyways, plans, what’s the plan for this whole revolution?”

“well, we plan accordingly to what info we get from tubbo. he’s shlatt’s righthand man now so he’s gonna know a lot of info which will help us out. techno and you are gonna train me and tommy of course. you guys are our wild card. our trump card. both of you are so powerful. we can take back what was ours.” wilbur looked at you, this confident glint shined in his eyes. “we will take back l’manburg.”

oh how you wished you felt the same way about l’manburg as he did.

another day passes as you live in the ravine that was pogtopia. you got accustomed to the small area rather easily. it didn’t feel too different from your own home other than maybe the cold temperatures despite how much glowstone or torches would be placed around to keep it warm. 

wilbur and tommy were busy for some odd reason, so that left you and technoblade. you weren’t the best with meeting new people and techno seemed like he was the same way, so you didn’t bother making conversation. it wasn’t until techno actually decided to speak.

“how can i trust you?”

“bold question to ask. what ever happened to, hi, how are you?” you joked a bit. “how can i trust you?” you looked at the fellow piglin hybrid who seemed to already start a staring contest with you.

“i asked first.”

“i asked second.”

“do you know who i am?”

“you are technoblade, are you not?” a beat of silence. “if you aren’t, i won’t hesitate to kill you.”

“i’m technoblade, yes, but do you know what else i am?”

“a piglin hybrid?”

“i’m the blood god.”

“interesting.” another beat of silence. you didn’t seem to show any reaction to his words which makes him wonder. were you just hiding your judgement or did you just didn’t care? “is that why wilbur and tommy recruited you for help?” 

“in a way, yes.”

“so if i were to say that they’re using you as a weapon, would i be wrong? i mean i’m just saying stuff right now. it seems like you’re really capable of doing a lot of things, technoblade.” you suddenly feel his hand against your neck. “ah- i hit a nerve. my bad.” you hummed as if you weren’t close to getting choked to death.

“don’t talk about my family like that. they would never use me.”

“so, tommy is your sibling too? didn’t see that one coming, although it seems like i didn’t really see any of this coming.” you shrugged. techno was silent, his piercing red eyes burned into your e/c ones, he was trying to analyze you. you could tell he wanted to know more, he was curious. he was cautious of you. “i’m here to finish a favor, so it would be very nice if you do not take any of my lives.” 

“i don’t trust you.”

“well, glad we could get straight to the point. i’m not really one for trust either so it’s nice to know that you feel the same way. again, i don’t really wanna be here, but again, here for a favor, i intend to keep that favor done.”

the voices in his head were buzzing, many said blood for the blood god, some said much less helpful words, a few suggested to get to know you but all of them said to not trust you. and techno listened to the few. he moved his hand back slowly. 

“who are you exactly?”

“well, as wilbur said before, i’m y/n. a piglin hybrid just like you. though, i’m pretty sure i lived in the nether much longer than you have. i live far away from the smp and l’manburg...well, manburg now. my intentions are questionable. but that’s nothing to worry about since they don’t involve you.” you explained casually. “i’m here to also train wilbur and tommy, unfortunately i have to fight in this revolution as well. who are you exactly?”

techno raised an eyebrow at your question.

“to be fair, you got to know about me, now let me know about you, piggie.” he huffs, air escaping his nose as he listens to your words. “at least we’re not killing each other. would you prefer that?”

“i’m more of a action over words person. though words can be very convincing.”

“so is that a yes or no?”

“my name is technoblade as you know from wilbur and tommy. i’m not really from the smp or manburg. i recently joined this area after ruling over antartica.” he can see your eyes sparkle a bit in amusement. “i’m just here to destroy government honestly. my intentions are very clear unlike yours.”

“that is very true, mr. blade. you seem to have your beliefs and intentions very clear. i do understand your need to end government. i can relate to that rather well surprisingly.” 

“i feel like the whole hating government thing might just be a piglin thing.” he looked at you with slightly furrowed eyebrows. “though i’m rather pleased to find someone that thinks the same way as i do.”

“see if you didn’t tell me about you, then we would’ve never found out that we both hate government. anyways, i would love to know more about you ruling antartica. then maybe you wanna try and train together?”

“you’re asking for a lot.”

“come on, mr. blade.” your voice teasing as you sit next to techno. i’ll give you some fun stories about wilbur and tommy.”

“you’re not gonna give up, are you?”

“i’m a stubborn person, what can i say?”

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[yesimwriting]

Searing Starlight (chapter two)

A/n Chapter twooo!! I cannot believe the support I’ve been getting on here im so excited to share my six of crows/shadow and bone fics with y’all!

 Lmk if you’d like to be tagged when I update this story!! And just letting y’all know I take requests so if you have an idea you’d like to see me attempt feel free to comment it or send it in :)) 

--

At least Kaz’s claimed ‘wraith’ (which is such an odd thing to just have) is a girl, and a seemingly kind one at that. She was quick to find me, body pressed into wooden shelves and glass bottles, and subtly gesture for me to follow her. It had been difficult to keep track of her flighty form through the crowd, but I think there was a point in her strange raveling, to make sure no one was following me. 

She’s not particularly talkative, but she doesn’t seem bothered by me. She tossed me a random oversized shirt to pull over my dress when she saw how I kept adjusting the fabric and crossing my arms. That was kinder than she needed to be. I think I’ll like her. 

“So you’re a wraith,” I manage, breaking the nervous silence, “Like a full time, constantly on-call wraith.” 

The question seems to puzzle her, dark eyebrows drawing together. “Yes.” The corner of her mouth twitches up slightly, a smile. “A full time, constantly on-call wraith.” She hesitates, perfect stance adjusting. “What were you doing before?” 

Great. This question. “Nothing important.” It’s not a fair cop-out. Especially since she answered my question. “I um...I’m indentured to Rollan Kenya.” 

I watch her reaction to the name. Some know of him. Some revere him. Some loathe him and everything he’s associated with. “His religious interpretations are controversial.” 

“If you think what he says to the public is bad you should hear what he says in private.” I push myself further into the chair I’m in. 

Something strange flickers over her features. “I can imagine.” 

Shaking my head, I hope I’m ending this conversation. “What’s your name?” 

A hesitation. “Inej.” 

I nod once, “I’m y/n.” 

“Do you need water, y/n?” 

I scratch my still exposed knee. “That’d be nice. Thank you.” 

She’s quick to leave, feet making no noise. A minute later she returns with a cup. I have no reason to suspect her, but I still sniff the cup before taking a cautious sip. I wonder if Anya made it back home. I wonder if she’s worse off for it. 

Before I can fall into a pit of debating despair, the door to the room Inej took me to squeaks open. On instinct, I snap my gaze towards the door, tensing. The first person I notice is Kaz, entering the room with a determination too intense for this time of night. Jesper is quick to follow, and I drop my stare. I’ve never had to interact with anyone I’ve lied to after taking their money. 

“Are they gone?” Inej asks, clearly accustomed to such brooding tension. 

Kaz nods once, “It took too much convincing--the Inferni’s more than she’s letting on.” 

I’m literally in the room. “I’m not--we’ve spoken two words to each other, sorry my abilities didn’t come up.” 

He turns towards me with a deadly grace. My grip on the cup tightens. What the hell is wrong for me? How deeply instilled is that god complex Kenya wanted in me? It must be as part of me as my name if I felt comfortable enough to speak that way to Kaz Brekker. 

I keep my eyes on his cane, waiting for some kind of physical retaliation. “Maybe the grisha hunting you would appreciate your sense of humor more.” 

It’s a bluff. He needs me. He’s desperate for something that can mimic a Sun Summoner. Still though, I’m not in the mood to poke a bear with a stick. “Speaking from experience,” I clear my throat awkwardly, “They tend not to.”

“Then I suggest you begin explaining before I decide I’d rather take my chances and you lose your worth.” 

Maybe if I hadn’t spent the last eleven years of my life with Kenya, his words would haunt me. I keep my expression set, but the lanterns in the room flicker. “It’s not as impressive as they’re making it seem--Inferni can produce fire, regular, red, bright fire.” I pause, feeling energy in my palms. “I can do the same, but I can also,” I extend a flat palm, “Do this.” 

I focus my energy on restraint, forcing the fire on my skin to remain there, covering my palms in a cold, blue glow. “It’s still fire, just blue--and that matters to them because blue light is the only kind you can use in the Fold.” Do they know anything about the fold? “Kenya, the man I’m indentured to, believes that this ability makes me eligible for Sainthood. He specializes in collecting people he thinks are eligible for Sainthood.” The low flame coating my palm licks upwards as I remember what disappointing Kenya means. “And if you don’t meet his standards, he’ll find a way to make sure you do. That’s why the grisha want me. He made me more and they believe that if they give me to someone who can give me an amplifier I’ll be able to produce enough blue light to protect an entire fleet.” 

“What do you mean ‘he’ll find a way to make sure you do’?” Inej’s voice is cautious. An attempt to be respectful. 

I drop my palm, letting the fire disappear into nothingness. “I wasn’t born with the ability to control the blue light so well--It’s difficult enough to produce for longer than two seconds let alone keep it from burning everything in sight. By the time I ended up in Kenya’s control he had learned that certain stimulants. Some scientists are working on a more grisha-targeted kind, but Kenya has managed to work with the generic well enough.” Hands shaking, I wipe the condensation off the side of the cup and hold out my wrist. Using the condensation, I begin to wipe at my wrist and forearm, smearing my makeup and revealing the needle bruises. “The key is withdrawals.”

Thoughts of begging Kenya, crying and screaming for another fix as he promised to give me that as soon as I showed some control of my abilities, make the shaking in my hand worse. I clasp my hands together, squeezing them in hopes of hiding the signs of withdrawal. 

I stare at the ground, not wanting to take anyone’s reaction in. I handle pity as well as I handle kindness. 

“Do you think you could produce enough blue light for one ship?”

Looking up, I take in Kaz’s measured expression. I’m glad he’s sticking to business. I’d rather that than deal with unpacking all of that with a group of strangers that don’t care if I live or die. 

“I could try.” I’ve never tried to protect anything that large. “Even if I can, it doesn’t mean a voyage like that will be safe.” 

“There’s no real safety in the Fold,” he replies easily. Realistic expectations. That will make this easier. “No one finds out about her--especially not Pekka Rollins.” 

I pull my arm towards my body, glad for the opportunity to hide the bruises. Signs of my weakness. The worst part was always the way Kenya would speak to me after. Pathetic. Weak. Trapped within the restraints of my flesh. 

“Who’s Pekka Rollins?” 

Kaz briefly turns his head in my direction. “No one that will ever concern you.” He ignores my annoyed huff. “We’ll use the Inferni to get to Alina Starkov.” 

Alina. Alina Starkov. “What do you want with Alina?”

 At that, the room seems to drain. I feel weirder than when they were seeing my abilities. 

“You know her?” Jesper’s surprise reveals more than Kaz wants him to. I don’t miss the glare he receives.

I half-shrug. “We were in the same orphanage for awhile.”

“How did you get to Ketterdam?” I don’t trust Kaz’s urgency. 

“I don’t remember, I was a child and I--I hit my head that night I think. I just woke up and I was with Kenya.” 

“How well do you know Alina?” 

There was a point in time in which she was my best friend. We learned how to braid hair by practicing on each other, we would draw maps together, and I was the only one who knew about her crush on Mal. “Not that well.” 

He takes a step forward, eyes almost squinting. The touch of distrust is evident on his face. “If you’re lying I’ll find out.” 

I owe Alina at least this. “Well then it’s a good thing I’m not.” 

I’m not naive enough to believe that I’ve convinced him, but his intense gaze does not remain on me. I’m relieved when his attention is off of me, but he’s only moving on to start planning the riskiest thing I’ve ever done. 

-- 

Taglist: @ambrosia-v-black 

[vad-hander]

JAEBEOM, THE GUY FROM THE BAR

Pairing: Jaebeom x reader

Genre: Series | Eventual Smut | Angst | Fluff

Warnings: break up, cheating, strangers to lovers, mentions of drinking

Words: 3.8k

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6

You noticed Jaebeom get out of taxi the same moment you were walking towards the door of the designated cafe place. He seemed to not notice you, looking down into his phone, typing something with furrowed brows. You stopped next to the door, watching him go past you grabbing the handle of the door. You laid your hand on his shoulder roughly, and he turned quickly with a face expression that made you regret your sudden decision. He looked as if he’d hit you right until the moment he focused his vision on who grabbed him, noticing it was you.

“Jesus, I almost punched you.” he pushed the phone into his back pocket, shooting you a smile. His palm laid on the small of your back, rubbing it a few times, you tried to step closer thinking he’d hug you but he didn’t. You looked him in the eyes seeing him properly in the daylight for the first time. His Cupid’s bow upper lip attracted your attention even more now that the sun shone on it and you could see the light pink colour of his dried out lips. You held in a chuckle at the inner urge of getting your chopstick out to put it on his lips. You noticed how he wasn’t shaved neatly and you asked yourself if he looked that way all the time and you didn’t notice? Your mind for the first time crossed a thought that he looked … sexy?

Jaebeom’s clothes were baggier than they usually were and he seemed even wider in shoulders than before. You thought to yourself that it’d be thrilling to see him shirtless just to contain your curiosity but for starters you hoped that maybe he’d at least kiss your cheek as a greeting.

That’d be good enough too, it’d be good to dive in something that came to you naturally in general. You didn’t want to get another relationship in which you forced someone into. You internally hit yourself for thinking all these thoughts after just one drunk kiss and a couple of hangouts. You were doing it again, forcing yourself into something uncertain and unclear a day after you saw what all of it leads to.

Don’t force anything, don’t force him, you repeated like a mantra. Don’t do it like you did it with Jeno, don’t do it, you told yourself.

Fuck, Jeno. You thought how he still didn’t talk to you at all an killed every second thought in your head about him immediately.

Don’t think too much, don’t make any assumptions before Jaebeom says anything clearly. Go with the flow, do what feels right and don’t overthink.

Move, you commanded to yourself.

“Should we…” you began speaking when someone behind interrupted you.

“Excuse us.” Jaebeom moved you to the side by your elbow when the person asked for you two to free the way.

“Should we go in too?” you asked him when he let go of you.

“Yes, I’m starving.” he nodded, turning to open the door, for you to walk in first.

“Thank you.” you said shyly, walking in front of him.

“Let’s sit over there.” you felt his presence with your back, seeing him pointing to a table in the far corner. “It’s quiet there.” you nodded and walked over there immediately. “I’m so glad you actually texted me in the morning.” he said with a chuckle when the both of you sat down. His eyes ran through the menu while yours ran over his hands. Rings, the cold of which you felt on your cheeks before, were still present on his fingers. “Did you like anything?” he raised his eyes back to you, making you startled, forcing you unknowingly to quickly grab the menu. You heard him laugh at your actions, running your eyes through the menu to decide on anything but everything blurred out due to your embarrassment.

“I’ll have whatever.” you looked back at him.

“I’m not rushing, you can look at everything you wanted to and then pick food.” he smirked “But let’s be honest I need to take my clothes off for you to see.” a wide smile grew on his face and you guessed he was trying hard not to laugh. You opened your eyes wide in shock, trying to react calmly but the heat that ran to your face immediately opened to him your real feelings. Vivid pictures of him taking his clothes off changed one another in your head and the fact that you already saw his stomach made the images more realistic.

“Not funny.” was everything you found to say awkwardly.

“I’m sorry .” he looked back into the menu, when you heard the waitress come closer.

He made words get stuck in your throat with the way he spoke and acted, and you really regretted you didn’t down a drink before meeting him just to be more free. But then again, it’s not a good idea to only meet him drunk, sooner or later you’ll need to get help with that too. After the food began arriving it felt easier for you to speak and eat at the same time.

“That’s a relief, you seem to be doing good, with everything that happened.”

“You asked me out to make sure I won’t die alone? Sweet.” you turned your head to the side slightly.

“That’s actually my second intention.”

“And the first…?” you leaned in more on the table wondering if you pushed him too much once again.

“I just thought you wouldn’t want to see me after what we did, I do realise you were terribly drunk, I just wanted to see if I’m right.”

“There’s nothing… in what we did… we didn’t do anything that’s not appropriate… or what?” you suddenly realised what he probably meant “Did we…? You want to say we…?” you leaned in more, almost laying with your chest against the table. You tried to think how you got home or to bed, but the only thing you remember is how you kissed and then you took one more sip of the drink that completely blacked out your memory.

“The way you texted I thought you remembered…?” his eyebrows furrowed, spreading confusion over his face.

“I’m sorry.” you said, leaning back into the chair. Your hands grabbed your head in your arms. How could you not remember sleeping with someone at all? How could you not remember sleeping with HIM?

“I should be sorry, I knew you won’t remember anything, but you kind of begged and wrote on my arm.” he rolled up his sleeve showing you “I couldn’t resist then and kissed you, I’m sorry.” you grabbed his hand and read the same sentence you remembered you wrote. It was pretty washed out by now and you wondered to yourself why he didn’t get rid of it, but it wasn’t the main reason of your headache and you pushed it to the side.

“I remember the kiss, I don’t remember how we had sex.” you simply admitted, speaking lower in the ending.

“We didn’t have sex, what are you talking about?” his face got even more confused than before.

“We didn’t?”

“As far as I remember…”

“Jesus, you just made me believe I had sex and didn’t remember it, use your words properly, I almost experienced a stroke.” you wanted to slap his arm but he put it away from the table.

“I’m not that bad, at least you would’ve felt something even if you didn’t remember.” he sounded as if he was genuinely offended.

“You just helped me get home and left?”

“It’s not ‘just’. I forced you to get into my car, which trust me, wasn’t an easy job, then I had to carry you to your place, and only after one cup of water you became more or less alive and then you walked to your bed. I helped you out of your clothes with my eyes closed, tucked you in and left. That’s it, nothing else happened, you don’t have to worry.” he spoke as if it was an important story to remember.

“Sincerely, thank you. You didn’t have to do any of that but you still did. Thank you.” you told looking him in the eyes and he nodded, ticking almost an entire sandwich into his mouth at once. You silently watched him chew, hearing his phone ring. He quickly pulled it out and you guessed he was waiting for an important call with the speed he did it. His eyes ran over the screen and he declined the call, laying the phone on the table with the screen down. His eyes met yours and shot you a smile.

“I need to go to the restroom, will you be fine without me?”

“Yeah, sure.” you nodded, watching him get up and grab his phone.

You sighed, watching his back disappear around the corner. Your eyes ran over the place, focusing on the entrance. The door opened and you watched a man enter the cafe, moving your eyes further, until the thought of him being familiar hit your head and your eyes got back to the man that entered the cafe.

Jeno.

You turned back around, curling up in your seat hoping you disappeared from his view. Fear soaked you in to the point you stopped breathing and focused your eyes on the wall from which you thought Jaebeom is going to appear again.

You felt two hands wrap around your shoulders, knowing you failed miserably. Jeno’s lips touched your cheek and he let go of you, pulling in the chair from a nearby table to sit next to you.

“What you’re doing here?” you asked confused when he sat and looked at you.

“I came to see you.” his hand reached out to you and he tried to caress your cheek, and you pushed back quickly to not let him.

“How did you find me?”

“Your phone, you’re sharing your location with me.”

“Please go away.” you contained yourself, sounding as calm as possible.

“You’re still pissed?” he chuckled carelessly and tried to touch you again. Thoughts of him touching other girl with those same hands made you sick and you jumped up.

“I’m pissed!?” you exclaimed trying not to attract too much attention.

“Please don’t make a scene.”

“I’m not making a scene, I’m telling you to leave.” his head turned to the side of the table where Jaebeom previously sat.

“Come on, baby, don’t be pissed, it’s a mistake I won’t ever repeat. Let’s go home, I missed you.”

“Are you out of your mind?” you exclaimed moving back. You felt Jaebeom’s presence behind you, and tried to not act surprised when you felt his palms on your waist.

“Who’s that?” Jeno looked behind you, raising his eyebrows. “Is that the reason you wanted me to leave? Already found someone new to fuck?” his eyes trailed down onto where Jaebeom’s hands laid.

“No, that’s my friend. I don’t sleep with everyone I talk to.” you laid your hands on top of Jaebeom’s, moving them away “I guess this type of relationship is unknown to you.”

“Seriously? A friend? Him? I can’t believe you’re fucking someone when we didn’t even brake up.”

“What? Stop embarrassing me in front of people! You cheated! We’re not dating. Jeno, leave. Why did you come? What did you want to do? Kill every good memory I had left of you? Congrats, you succeeded!” you exclaimed feeling dry tears in your eyes.

“Don’t cry.” you heard Jaebeom’s quiet whisper. His hand grabbed yours to squeeze and you felt better from the simple gesture.

“No, I’m not crying, he don’t deserve my tears, that’s why they not even there.” you told Jaebeom, turning back to Jeno “There was a time I thought I almost loved you, thank God you showed your true self. You killed all of it, now, please just leave and don’t ever try to contact me, especially in that weird way.”

“Y/n, seriously? Don’t get influenced by that prick.” you felt Jaebeom’s fingers squeeze tightly over yours.

“It’s better for you to leave.” he spoke loudly.

“Oh, your new boyfriend have voice?”

“Jeno, leave.”

“Okay, okay, you two make a great couple of pricks. I anyway came just to tell you that I’ll throw your shit away if you won’t pick it up.” he stood up, throwing the chair back to where he got it from. “Dude, trust me, run, she’ll eat your brain out.” Jeno chuckled referring to Jaebeom.

“Your advice is very much not needed.” Jeno walked away, and Jaebeom turned you to face him, running his hands through your hands. “I leave you for 5 minutes and you get yourself in trouble?” he tried to make you smile. “How did he find out you’re here?”

“My phone is sharing location with him, but I honestly don’t know why he came… without warning as well?” you sighed hopelessly. “I’m sorry you had to go through this too, I’m deeply sorry you had to hear his stupid words.”

“You did well.” his hand rubbed your cheek, pinching it.

“You too.” you pinched his cheek in return and finally felt good. Jaebeom caught your hand when you were dropping it back down and lifted it back by the wrist, pecking the inside of your palm. “Stop.” you chuckled and pushed him away.

“I feel really bad now, I needed to tell you I have to go, but I saw you with Jeno and yeah…”

“I’m okay, you can go if you need to.” you played with your fingers.

“I’m sorry, a friend called me, it’s urgent, I really need to go.”

“I understand. You’re duty is to help everyone Do you by any chance have little wings on your shoulders?” you touched his back, jokingly trying to turn him to see.

“Your obsession with undressing me is getting out of hand today.” he caught your hands in his. “Tell me you’re free this Thursday?”

“It depends on time…” you were ready to accept his proposal anyway, but you guessed it’d be good to at least pretend you think about it.

“After 6?”

“Okay, I’m free.” you nodded after taking your time to think of your schedule.

“Great, I’ll be at your door at 6:30.”

“What do you want to do?”

“I want to take you to an exhibition.”

“Okaay.” you nodded and smiled.

“You don’t seem too keen?”

“Yay, Jaebeom, thank you so much.” you expressed excitement with clapping your hands like a seal.

“Cool.” he smiled and suddenly pecked your cheek. “I’ll pay and go.” he turned around calling the waitress.

“I’ll pay for myself.” you sat back down.

“You can transfer me the money later, she’ll take forever to separate the bill.” he seemed too in a rush and you agreed. “I thought we’ll just eat and then hang out, but it turned out to be all over the place.” Jaebeom stood up and leaned to you. “I’ll do my best to erase the memories from today on Thursday. I’ll make sure our date will be perfect.” his lips laid on your cheek, leaving it for a second only to kiss you once again.

“This was a date?” was all that came to your mind to ask.

“No, we won’t count it as one because it was messed up.” he smiled to you, and caressed your cheek. “I’ll see you.” he said and leaned in once more. You felt your eye-lids tremble for a few more seconds after he left, turning around to see him walk away.

You noticed through the glass-wall how he walked to a car in front of the entrance. You thought it was a taxi but doubted it after he sat on the front sit. You squinted your eyes, trying hard to see what he’s doing. Jaebeom leaned in to the driver and you saw how her hands wrapped around his shoulders. They hugged for so long if you were closer you’d be able to count every hair on her head by the time she let go of him. His head moved a little and you suddenly thought that they kissed. What if they kissed? The fear covered you suddenly and you turned away, closing your eyes. When you found strength to look back the car was long gone and you stood up too, walking back home.

Jaebeom didn’t text you even in the evening, and you laid in bed, scrolling through your meagre chat, hypnotising your phone for him to text you.

to: Jaebeom, the guy from the bar

“I hope everything went well with your friend ^^”

from: Jaebeom, the guy from the bar

“yup”

“thank you”

he replied immediately, did he talk with someone else right now?

to: Jaebeom, the guy from the bar

“about Thursday”

“can I wear casual clothes or it’s more of an official exhibit?”

from: Jaebeom, the guy from the bar

“wear whatever”

The smile ran down your face, because your sudden realisation that he didn’t care hit your head. He probably was still busy, busy with the girl he hugged in the car.

“if you’ll be too fancy you’ll stand out too much.”

“I’ll like anything but it’s more of a casual exhibit. I’ll be casual.”

to: Jaebeom, the guy from the bar

“okay”

“I’ll match”

from: Jaebeom, the guy from the bar

“Nah, no one’s a match to you”

to: Jaebeom, the guy from the bar

“I hope you meant it in a good way.”

from: Jaebeom, the guy from the bar

“I feel so bad about what happened today.”

to: Jaebeom, the guy from the bar

“come over? we can make it up for the day.” you typed slowly, thinking for a minute if you should hit sent or not. Your mind went blurry at the thought of Jaebeom coming to your place , or to your bed.

from: Jaebeom, the guy from the bar

“I really can’t come”

“why are you like this???”

to: Jaebeom, the guy from the bar

“what are you thinking…”

“it’s not that…”

from: Jaebeom, the guy from the bar

“then I’ll see you on Thursday.”

And you texted him a few more silly things, finally going to bed afterwards.

Closing your eyes you thought about the day you kissed once more. You ran through your mind multiple times how he kissed you, how his lips moved against yours. Then, you tried to imagine in your head from what he told you, how he carried you home and got you to your bedroom. Suddenly, you remembered something from that evening.

/You walked into your room, hearing Jaebeom’s steps behind you. You turned around almost hitting the bed with your knee.

“Ouch!” you exclaimed loudly.

“Let’s get you to bed before you kill yourself.” he chuckled and rested his hands on your waist, trying to make you sit down.

“You’ll sleep with me?”

“What?”

“Sleep with me.” you whined.

“Y/n, in the morning it can be awkward if we’ll wake up next to each other. I’ll go home.”

“Jaebeoma-a-h” you whined again and he sat you on the bed, kneeling in front of you. “Is it okay if I’ll call you Jaebeomah?”

“Yeah”. he chuckled and ran his fingers over your cheek.

“Want sex?” you suggested baldly, wishing that he’d maybe agree.

”Want what?” he laughed.

“Sex.” you said and Jaebeom’s hand left your cheek “with me.”

“I guessed that with you.” he laughed.

“No?”

“Let’s take you to bed.” he tried to stand up but your hand wrapped around his neck, unexpectedly for him pulling him towards you and crawling backwards so he weighs over you. Jaebeom found balance on each side of your head and pushed back when you tried to force him to kiss.

“Kiss me.” you cried, moving your hands from his neck to waist. Your body made a weird roll, making your lower parts touch. “Jaebeom, do you not feel it?”

“I do, honey, I do.” he switched his body weight to one hand, with the other running over your face. “If you’ll push any more we’ll make a mistake. I don’t want this to be a mistake. Let me just put you to bed.”

“Do you need me to write on your hand again? I want you.”

“Y/n please stop.” he sighed and lowered his face to yours.

“I can do anything.” you said referring to doing anything in bed.

“I’ll … I’ll go.” he sighed. Your hands grabbed his neck, forcing him to lower his head, putting all your strength to turn you two around. You straddled him and he didn’t protest even one bit physically. “Y/n… let’s not.”

“Why? You don’t like me? You don’t want me?”

“None of this, I just want you to remember all of it.” you fell onto the bed next to him, giving everything up. Something told you he won’t change his decision if he didn’t already. “Do you need help with changing clothes?”

“No.” you looked grumpy at him “Just turn away.”

“Okay.” he sat up and turned his back to you. You quickly took off the dress, diving into an oversized shirt.

“Done.” you told him so he could turn around. He stood up immediately, getting your blanket from the bed and silently telling you to lay. You did as he pleased, watching him put the duvet on top of you. He hovered over you, getting your faces close once again. “We already kissed what stops you from doing it once more?” you asked again, and Jaebeom run his tongue over his teeth in response.

He moved his head lower, staring intensely at your neck. You gulped not being used to that gaze, twitching when he lowered his lips onto your neck, leaving a fervent kiss. The skin under his lips burned and your insides squeezed under him. He kissed your neck again, and you gasped loudly letting him know on purpose that you liked it. You didn’t touch him just in case he’d disappear if you’d do so, and you just watched him stare at your neck again. His last kiss felt as if he burned a whole in your throat, making a move that made your heart drop down into your feet even though you were laying. He licked afterwards the spot that he kissed and casually moved back. “Bye, sleep tight.” he gave you a smile and stood up. You watched him walk out and close the door behind him and you passed out quicker than you could realise./

_

really didn't want to make you wait any longer, so posted without re-reading it! sorry, if you found any mistakes.

I hope you enjoyed reading this part! please let me know <3

[peppermintbee]

OMORI has poor writing (Part 1)

OMORI stans, just block the #omori hate tag now because I’m going to use it to vent my frustrations with this game. If you love this game, I am not going to try to convince you otherwise. I am glad you enjoyed it so much. I am glad it means a lot to you. I’m not here to take that away from you. I honestly wish I felt the same way!

However, if you are like me and finished the game feeling disappointed, underwhelmed, and maybe a little frustrated, then I am here to say you are not alone. OMORI--while having the right set pieces for an interesting game--is a narrative mess.

I’m splitting this into two posts. This first post is about problems with the plot. The second is about problems with the message/moral. 

(Note: I use “OMORI” in all-caps for the game title, and “Omori” in title case for the character name.)

Spoilers and criticism below.

Part 1: Plot Writing Lies

There’s a book by Brian McDonald called Invisible Ink which is about how to write a compelling story (you can read this great book online for free here). There’s an explanation of the writing “lie” that I find myself frequently thinking of. A “lie” in this context does not mean something is literally untrue, it means something FEELS untrue, unrealistic, improbable, or unlikely. For example, if a character gets shot in the leg but manages to do parkour, this is a “lie” since it seems unrealistic for that to happen. If a character witnesses their beloved parent’s death and shrugs it off, it’s a “lie” because that reaction seems highly unlikely.

In OMORI, the plot is held together by multiple little lies that--try as I might--I just couldn’t bring myself to believe.

1. Sunny’s friends care about him, and vice versa

A major theme of the game is how friendship can overcome any obstacle. Friendship gets Sunny over his fear of heights, spiders, and water. Friendship is what Sunny remembers before the final boss fight, and allows him to face his guilt and defeat it (and prevent him from committing suicide). With the photobook and dialogue you are reminded over and over and over and over and over again that Sunny’s friends love him unconditionally.

However, I just couldn’t bring myself to believe it. The childhood memories are cute but shallow, boiling down to simply hanging out and eating treats. Plus, Kel and Aubrey fight constantly, with Aubrey even physically hitting Kel when he steps out of line. Hero and Mari behave more like babysitters than true friends to the younger kids. 

But at least the other kids interact with each other. Sunny, on the other hand, showed nearly no affection or consideration towards his friends. He floats through the memories like a ghost--he could have been completely absent from all the photos and it would have made little difference. I was ready to accept this as Sunny being an unreliable narrator and not thinking he was a good enough for his friends, but this never contradicted. Instead we are given even more memories where Sunny just silently exists there being “cute.”

[Sunny enriching the lives of his friends by LARPING as a cat.]

Because of the lack of meaningful interactions between them, there was nothing in the game that made me think that these 12-15 year olds would have a strong enough bond that would survive 3-4 years of no contact after finding their friend hanged. In fact, that discovery only drove them farther apart. The only person who I could believe actually had a close bond was Basil, who almost literally filled that trope of being the friend who would help you bury a body (or in this case, help Sunny cover up the accidental manslaughter).

The writing fix for this would be simple: instead of showing us the same boring birthday and beach scenes over again, give the kids memories of overcoming some age-appropriate adversity together: heartbreak over an unrequited crush, anxiety over homework, sports injury, lost dogs, divorced parents, running away from home, bullying, etc. Set a precedent of the friends supporting each other through good times AND bad times. Without such backstory, Sunny’s friendships allegedly giving him the courage to overcome his guilt feels like a lie.

2. Sunny abandoning Basil in the bathroom scene

One of the most confusing moments in the game was Sunny’s negligence when Basil has his first breakdown in his bathroom. This part of the game is player-controlled, which is a strange writing decision because all you can do is click on Basil and various bathroom amenities over and over which completely saps the urgency out of the scene. When you try to leave, Basil begs Sunny to stay, but (due to a lack of player options) Sunny walks out without a word. With no option to talk to him OR get help for him, it makes Sunny seem exceptionally cruel to Basil. In fact, I was starting to wonder if the game was setting up for some sort of twist that Sunny DIDN’T care about his friends, which would fix some of the confusion in point #1. However, as we know, that is not the case. Therefore, Sunny’s negligence/apathy towards Basil’s pain feels like a lie.

The writing fix would be to make it MORE clear that Sunny is intentionally running away from Basil. Make it a cutscene, or, give a false choice such as “Leave Basil? Yes / Yes”. After Sunny leaves, Kel should make some remark about Sunny looking odd, “You look sort of shaken up, is there something you want to tell me?” then hit it home with Sunny shaking his head. This would make it more clear that Sunny is intentionally hiding Basil’s state, as opposed to just being a bad friend. As it stands, it just felt like a writing mistake.

3. Basil and Sunny working together to stage Mari’s death as a suicide

This is the plot hole that I see the most complaints over, but it’s so big I have to address it. Accidentally pushing Mari down the stairs I understand, but the rest is too absurd. Below are some of the “lies” that the writing tries to get away with:

That Sunny and Basil wouldn’t just claim she slipped and fell.

That either boy would even come up with this sick plan.

That they wouldn’t back out of this idea during the multi-step process (carrying her downstairs, outside, getting the jump rope, tying a noose, putting it around her neck, stringing her up, hiding the evidence... This is a series of multiple decisions, not one quick accident like the initial push.)

That it’s not the image of Mari’s death that traumatized Sunny, but the image of what they chose to do to her body that traumatized them. I understand the image of Mari hanging is more dramatic, but they literally did it themselves so why is that more haunting than Sunny killing her?

That Mari’s true cause of death wouldn’t be immediately obvious to the parents, the police, the friends, EVERYONE. (I’ve seen fans try to get rid of this plot hole by hypothesizing that the parents knew and covered it up, but the evidence of this is circumstantial at best. The father saying, “You’re not my son,” is unreliable since it happens in Sunny’s headspace. Divorce is common after the death of a child, and, at the very least, Sunny’s mom doesn’t show any evidence of knowing what happened. The way it is written, only Sunny and Basil know the truth.)

The ridiculousness of this twist is so extreme that it completely broke any immersion I had left. Frankly, the reveal that the happy, loveable Mari committed suicide is a far heavier and more realistic twist than a crazy murder-cover-up story is.

Additionally, it seems like Basil was only written into this scene in order to make Sunny the true victim of what happened. After all, Sunny may have pushed her, but it was Basil who came up with the demented cover up. (This is apparent from just the photos but the datamined Truth Album confirms it.) By having Basil come up with the plan, the game splits the guilt between the two of them to make the kids easier to sympathize with. It’s problematic because if Basil was not in the scene, there would be no way to justify what Sunny did to Mari. So why is what they did easier to accept when they worked together?

Fixing the writing lie: Sunny lies and says that Mari slipped. Remove Basil from the scene, and instead have Sunny confide in Basil which forces Basil to become a co-conspirator and burdens him with the terrible truth.

4. Sunny’s friends forgiving him and Basil for what they did to Mari

Last but not least, the story heavily implies that Hero, Kel, and Aubrey will forgive Basil and Sunny for what they did to Mari. I found this to be almost as unbelievable as the staged-suicide stunt.

It feels like a lie since the group’s friendship is never established as anything beyond shallow hang outs from 3+ years ago (see point #1).

It feels like a lie because this is hot off the heels of Aubrey being so distraught over Mari and the following fall out that in the last three days she 1.) attacked Sunny and Kel with a nail bat TWICE, 2.) Stole Basil’s photobook, and 3.) Shoved Basil in the lake. This trauma is still very fresh for her.

It feels like a lie because the complexity of the staged-suicide is so extreme, one would be hard pressed to forgive ANYONE for doing that, be it friend, foe, parent, sibling, lover, etc.

I’ve seen fans argue that the ending is not about forgiveness, it’s about telling the truth, and I want to believe that. Really. If the ending was about Sunny starting his redemption arc by telling the truth no matter what the consequences are, that would be a meaningful lesson. But the writing does not support that. The ending headspace segments are focused on assuring Sunny that his friends will support/forgive him no matter what. To do this, the game shows us the shallow photobook memories (again) to show how much they allegedly care about each other. Then, when fighting Omori, Sunny remembers these quotes from his friends, which directly correlate to their unconditional support:

KEL: Friends... Friends are supposed to be there for each other.

AUBREY: I hope you can find some peace... or you know... some happiness.

HERO: We made the mistake of leaving each other when we needed each other the most. This time... we’ll stay together.

BASIL: Maybe one day... things can go back to the way they were before.

The really direct evidence that this ending is about getting forgiveness is this quote from Basil in Sunny’s headspace:

[BASIL: “AUBREY, KEL and HERO are good friends. You have to trust that they’ll forgive us.”]

This is one of the last scenes before Sunny tells his friends the truth, proving that obtaining forgiveness from his FRIENDS is in fact the leading motivation for Sunny’s actions.

Fixing this writing lie is easy. Instead, adjust the writing to be about telling the truth, not about how much the friends will still love Sunny. Have headspace Basil say, “Even if they don’t forgive us, Aubrey, Kel, and Hero deserve to know the truth. It’s the only way to make things right... or close to it.”

Conclusion

OMORI is undeniably a cute game with a strong visual identity, and has a premise that could make for a very compelling experience. However, the sloppy plot and weak character writing cause the potential of this game to be squandered. There are other issues as well that I chose not to cover for the sake of time, such as the poor pacing of the dragged out dungeons and the bizarre, unrealistic behavior of characters in the “real” world. 

However, there are a few more glaring problems with OMORI that I have to address: In part 2 of my critique, I break down what may be the biggest problem with OMORI’s writing: the message.

[ Link to Part 2: OMORI’s Message is Mishandled and Distasteful ]

[teamddixon]

A New Normal

Summary: Set in the future of the TWD timeline, this story follows Daryl, Y/N and her brother through their journey in the world of the undead. It wasn’t like Daryl to let people in to his heart easily, but it was Y/N’s smiles that had captured him completely, and before he knew it, there wasn’t a scenario Daryl could think of about his future that didn’t have Y/N in it.

A/N: Hi guys, this is my first time writing a fic of our TWD badass, Daryl Dixon. It’s gonna be a long one, and a work in progress. I write because it makes me happy, and I hope it’ll make you happy too. The intro for this fic would be pretty long, and Daryl wouldn’t appear until slightly later, but I thought it would be important to touch on Y/N and her brother’s background since we already know Daryl’s background pretty well. I’m not a zombie apocalypse expert, and neither dare I call myself a TWD expert (I’m not, please pardon me if I get some facts wrong!), so some parts of the story may not be realistic. It is most certainly strayed from the current universe since this is meant to be set in the projected timeline after the eventual season 11, which of course we don’t know yet how Daryl’s narrative would be changed or if it would at all, (or do we?), so this story may or may not make sense after season 11 ends (maybe think of this as a spin off?). I do hope you like it, and don’t mind the fact that it is set way in the future of the universe. As mentioned, it’s still a work in progress and I don’t know how many parts it’ll be. But writing this is extremely cathartic for me so I’ll continue writing for as long as my brain (and my full time job) allows.  Comments and feedback are welcomed and appreciated! Please sit back and enjoy this journey with Daryl. :)

Photo is not mine. All mistakes in this are mine, please pardon them. 

There aren’t many moments in Y/N’s life where she’d just sit on a spot, completely and utterly at a loss. The camp where she’d called home for the last month was gone – just like that. Along with it, the people she considered her family. When an unexpected rogue herd of walkers stumbled across the cabin, she was out on a supply run with her older brother, Andrew. By the time they had came back, the cabin was in shambles and the smell of the dead overpowered their senses. Y/N stood rooted to the ground in shock behind the bushes, throwing a look of fear at Andrew. Biting back a scream, knowing it’ll give her position away, Y/N looked around, hoping to see a familiar face. A familiar face that was alive. There was none. It was too late for them to do anything to salvage their family, their home. There were too many walkers to take on and honestly, nothing much left for salvation.

Y/N had no idea how long she was behind the bushes watching the dead feeding on mangled bodies of people she once knew. She knew she had to move, but her feet wouldn’t allow. It was as if they were locked in position, trapped in the nightmare of a scene before her. The only comfort she could gather was seeing quite a number of fallen walkers with slash marks on their heads – meaning they had put up a strong fight against them.

“Come on, we got to go.” Andrew’s voice called out, his hand grabbing hers nudging her to move. There was a catch in his voice, although he tried to hide it. Still in shock and tears, Y/N willed her legs to move. Just one foot in front of another, just one foot in front of another. She had to keep her mind focused on what was in front, and to keep her legs moving forward. Y/N followed him, almost in complete auto-pilot. 

Without actually knowing how long or how she even managed to keep in tandem with her brother’s pace with her state of mind, he had led Y/N to a spot in the woods where the two of them finally crashed on the hard grounds. Y/N was shaking violently as she buried her heads between her knees. She had no idea if she was shaking because of the nip in the air, or because of shock. A low growl shook her awake from her reverie. She looked up to see a lone walker approaching from the right. Reaching for her hunting knife from her belt holster with her shaky hands proved to be a tremendous task. Y/N finally managed to unsheathe the knife and plunged it hard into the walker’s temple right before its jaw got onto her. She had no idea she still had that strength somewhere in her.

“Are you okay?” Andrew had walked over to her just in time to plunge his machete into the head of another walker that had approached Y/N from her blind spot. “Thanks. I didn’t see it coming.” Y/N mustered her strength and stood up before kicking the walker in its head with a mixture of anger and disbelief.

“I don’t, I cant –“ Y/N finally allowed herself to sob into Andrew’s shirt. While there were only a few people in the group to begin with, she have had time to know them through this shitstorm and had grown to like them like her own family. They were the people she had been moving with for years. They had lost some people in their journey, but they’d never lost all of them entirely before. To lose them all at once was devasting. But all in all, she was glad her brother was there. Andrew was fiercely protective of her, especially in this new world. She wouldn’t be alive and standing today if not for him. All her survival skills, her knife works, hunting and tracking skills, had all came from him. Y/N was not prepared for this world at all. Without Andrew, she would have become one of the walkers a long time ago. But she was a fast learner, and had more than proven her survival skills. Despite all that, she never lost her sense of hope and cheerfulness, that was until that day.

She was thankful for Andrew for giving her the time to grief while he single-handedly took down more than a dozen walkers while she was still in a daze. She felt horrible, leaving her brother to keep her alive knowing he needed his time to process everything too. Andrew didn’t say anything, he just kept her alive.

Nightfall brings another set of danger – the temperature had dipped drastically. Y/N worked with her brother to build a makeshift shelter with leaves and twigs. Andrew had also got a small fire going to provide a bit of warmth. If the walkers doesn’t get to them, the elements most certainly would. Satisfied with the perimeters, lined with makeshift cans and marbles to alert them when any walkers enter the camp, Andrew gestured for Y/N to sleep while he kept watch.

Y/N tucked herself in next to the small fire and tried to sleep. But of course sleep eluded her. Every time she had her eyes closed, all she could see was the grotesque bodies of her friends back in the cabin. She kept your eyes close despite that, hoping to catch at least a little sleep. Y/N knew she would be in no state to fight for survival without rest. Andrew sat next to the fire and finally allowed himself to process the events of the day. Most of the people in the group had been his friends since he was a child. He had grown up with them, went through triumphs and heartbreaks together. Losing them was painful. Losing them and not being able to do anything for them was painful. He looked at Y/N who had now finally fallen asleep and willed himself to stay strong. He couldn’t – he wouldn’t let the same thing happen to his sister. Y/N was his only family left.

Three hours into Y/N’s fitful sleep, she woke up in a pool of sweat despite the night cold. Before this all happened, Y/N always slept like a log. An earthquake could literally be breaking her room down and she would have no idea. But in this new normal, her body had adjusted itself to wake up within a few hours and it had learned to survive on a couple hours of sleep each night.

She saw Andrew throwing logs into the fire to keep it going. Approaching him silently, she gestured for him to sleep while she took over the watch. Nodding his head, he vacated his space before taking over hers. Y/N was on high alert, determined to keep her brother safe while he catch his much needed rest. Andrew had been there for Y/N all her life. She was only a couple of years younger so they were very close since young. This trip was supposed to be a break from work, but instead, they were thrown with an even bigger shitstorm than they could imagine. Y/N almost laughed when she thought about the irony. She would choose to go back to her office job any day over this. Before long, the cackle of the fire begin to diminish as the day broke. Y/N looked up at the skies, trying hard to fathom how this was the very same sky before the world had turned into hell. The sun still came up in the East and the morning birds still sang, but nothing else about the world right now was the same.

Gathering up all of their belongings, Y/N and Andrew set off for another day. They had to find a more permanent shelter, a sturdier shelter than twigs and leaves at least. Stopping by the creek to gather some water, Y/N took the chance to splash herself with the cold water. As the water hit her face, she perked up. Having not had a shower for days, Y/N’s skin was starting to itch and peel. Her feet was swollen with blisters and her arms were filled with dried scabs from all the cuts she sustained while running away from walkers. Y/N looked at Andrew with a longing in her eyes. She needed that shower. Convinced that the area was free of walkers, Andrew gave in and gave her privacy while Y/N washed yourself. He told her he would try to track something for their food today and set off with his bag, gesturing for Y/N to follow when she was done. A smile almost crept up Y/N’s face as she washed away days of sweat, dirt, and walker blood off her body. She hadn’t dared to take her time though. Once she was done, she quickly put on a fresher set of clothes that she had and set out to look for Andrew.

Feeling more refreshed, Y/N tried to put on a new perspective of how life was going to be moving forward. She was determined to continue living, living for the friends who couldn’t. She was going to continue living for Andrew. She didn’t want all of Andrew’s effort teaching her survival to go to waste. Y/N followed the tracks on the floor, hoping to find Andrew soon. No more than 10 minutes into following the tracks, she heard a slight ruffle of leaves to her left. It was so slight it was almost unnoticeable. It can’t have been a walker – a walker would have made a louder noise than that. It was most certainly a person. She smiled and moved towards the direction where she heard the sound from, anticipating to see Andre.

“Hey, did you managed to –“ Y/N’s whispers faltered into complete silence when a tall, crossbow donning man with striking blue eyes, greeted her. The man had his crossbow trained on Y/N’s head. She stopped in her tracks, knife in hand ready to strike.

“Who are you?” The man demanded. Not only was his crossbow trained on Y/N, his eyes were trained on her too.

“Y/N.” She spoke calmly, hand still steady on the knife. While she knew she’d be dead with his arrow before she could attack him with the knife, she weren’t about to go down without a fight if she had to. Y/N looked at the man, trying to download as much details about him as she could. He wore a long sleeves black shirt with two top buttons missing, a pair of cargo pants that were slightly ripped on some parts and his boots carried the obvious evidence of blood and someone who had been out in the open. Y/N tried not to wince as she stared directly into the man’s eyes. Although his hair covered the side of his face, she could make out his stern expression – an expression of someone who had been surviving on his own. But behind all that, she just had a sense, a strange and unspoken sense that he wasn’t a dangerous man.

“Look, I’m just looking for my brother, all right? I don’t mean to walk into your zone.” Y/N explained. “If you promise not to shoot me, I’ll just turn around and be on my way.”

Adrenaline from meeting a lone stranger in the woods had had blood rushing to her ears, muffling her surrounding sounds. As she prepared to turn and leave, the man spoke again. “Behind ya!” That was when she heard it – the unmistakable sound of a walker behind her. As a reflex, Y/N bent her body forward and side stepped, but in her haste to evade the walker, she had missed her footing. Y/N cursed under her breath but quickly regained her posture. She raised her arm, ready to strike, but before she could, the walker’s dead weight had pushed her, causing her to fall backwards on the hard ground, losing her knife in the process. Y/N quickly worked to fight the walker off but all she heard was the hustling sound of an arrow and the silenced growl from the walker. Feeling the full weight of the walker now, she pushed it off and saw that it had an arrow right smack between it’s eyes. Y/N turned to look at the man as he approached the walker. With one foot on the walker’s head, he pulled out the arrow with one swift motion with his free hand. He then turned sideways to look at Y/N.

“That was really cool.” Y/N couldn’t help but chuckle slightly. Seeing that the man had made no move to point his crossbow at her again, Y/N relaxed. She spotted and dug out her knife that had been partially buried during the fall and tussle with the walker.

“That was really cool.” Y/N couldn’t help but chuckle slightly. Seeing that the man had made no move to point his crossbow at her again, Y/N relaxed. She spotted and dug out her knife that had been partially buried during the fall and tussle with the walker.

“Thanks. I owe you.” Y/N gestured to the walker on the ground as she dusted herself off. “What’s your name?” She smiled.

Daryl was immediately captivated by Y/N’s smile and the sound of her chuckles. Earlier when he had heard someone approaching, he was ready to strike, ready to take them down if he had to. But as he heard Y/N’s voice for the first time, he knew immediately that she was no threat. He hadn’t seen or heard another person’s voice for days. But even if he had, there was something about Y/N’s voice and her smiles that enchanted him. Despite the situation the world was in, Daryl was comforted to see a smile that seemed to make him forget everything else.

“Daryl.”

“I’m sorry again, you know, for walking into you.”

“Sorry for ta’ crossbow on ya head.” Daryl nodded his head slightly at Y/N as apology.

“We’re even then.” Y/N smiled again. It was nice meeting someone else in this crazy world of the dead. Something about Daryl had made her feel a sense of comfort and calm, despite just meeting him a few minutes ago. Daryl looked away, feeling his face flushed from seeing her smiles. There had never been anyone who had that effect on him before. Her smiles were a huge contrast to everything he had come to know in the last ten years. He wanted nothing but to remember them.

[ginger-and-mint]

Hey, I'm wondering if you have any advice on writing kink stuff? Basically, it feels like I'm writing the same story repeatedly. Coming up with stuffing scenarios that both make sense, and aren't just retreads, is really hard. It probably doesn't help that a) I don't have much writing experience, b) my interests are really narrow, and c) I have no imagination, lol. How do you keep stuff fun and interesting? (Jsyk, I sent this to Tiny as well, I love both your blogs 😊)

Hey, anon! Thank you so much, I’m so glad you enjoy my and Tiny’s content and I’m flattered to be asked for advice! ♡ I have a lot of thoughts about this, so I’ll do my best to boil them down into something useful.
 ^^

Since you mentioned being pretty new to writing, I broke up my advice into a few different “stages,” starting with things that are easy to implement and moving to things that might feel more manageable as you get more comfortable with writing. Under a cut because Real Heckin Long.


Stage One — Don’t Sweat It

This might sound corny and unhelpful, but I genuinely think that especially when you’re first starting out, it’s best not to put pressure on yourself to write the world’s most original stories. Write to please your inner fiend and nobody else! If repeated versions of the same story continue to light your fire, there’s no shame in embracing that.

Doing this will honestly help you with originality in the long-term anyway, because you’re giving yourself the freedom to learn more about what specifics you really enjoy in kink writing. Later on, you can use that knowledge to put new twists on those specifics and invent new scenarios.

Stage Two — Stuffing Scenario Cheat Sheet

I completely agree that believable stuffing scenarios are really difficult to invent. What’s realistic is a matter of opinion of course, but for me, this is a quick breakdown of logical reasons for a character to overeat. If you’re getting tired of using the same justification in your fics, try picking something new from this list:

Accidental stuffing:

Character is distracted by something during the meal

Character eats so fast they don’t realize when they’re full

Character has been hungry for awhile and overdoes it when they finally get to eat

Reluctant intentional stuffing (motivated by external circumstances):

Character feels social pressure to keep eating **

The food will go to waste otherwise **

Eating contests / challenges **

The character is trying to bulk up

Enthusiastic intentional stuffing (because the character wants to):

Character just enjoys the feeling of being full

Character and/or their partner(s) have a stuffing kink

Character has temporary access to good food and is indulging while they can

Fantasy Shenanigans:

Side effects of being a magical creature (e.g. a werewolf eating too much for their human form to handle, a vampire needing to feed all at once, etc.)

Magic that causes a character to overeat (e.g. enchanted food, curses, potions, etc.)

Magic that requires a full stomach and/or extra energy to work (e.g. my di-mage spell mechanics, the antidote in this fic of Tiny’s, etc.)

[free space because fantasy lets you set the boundaries of what’s realistic, so your imagination is really the limit!]

** If you’re aiming for realism, I would be careful of these scenarios. In my opinion, they can be done believably, but often are not. Some things I would look out for:

Most foods can easily be stored for later, so if you want to use the “avoiding waste” trope, make sure that you’re either in a setting without access to refrigeration or that the food is something that genuinely wouldn’t keep until the next day (or at least would be way less tasty after a night in the fridge.)

Social pressure works best in scenarios with people that the to-be-stuffed character 1) doesn’t know very well and 2) wants to impress or keep face around (e.g. formal events, business dinners, first dates that involve food, meeting their partner’s family, etc.)

Loving friends, family, and partners don’t pressure or guilt people into overeating! Characters stuffing themselves because their loved ones are really insistent that they have to taste-test everything or act so disappointed because they went to all this work on some extravagant feast always ring at best false and at worst abusive to me. What kind of loving relationship is it if you don’t feel safe to say “no thanks, I’m full?” That’s not to say social pressure with loved ones can’t be done well, but it usually indicates some kind of character flaw (i.e. an inability to say no and/or a steamroller-y personality) that in my opinion, has to be acknowledged by the fic’s end if you want the tone to stay light and fluffy.

Again, this may just be my opinion, but eating contests only come across as realistic with certain character personalities and in certain contexts. Like yeah, I can believe that a himbo with YouTuber Energy would take on a hot wing eating challenge in front of all his bros, but not so much that an otherwise self-respecting character would drop everything to eat themselves sick because a friend randomly challenged them.

Stage Three — Change Up Other Elements When Using Similar Tropes


Especially if you have narrow interests, it’s probably inevitable you’ll write same basic story structure over and over. I know I sure do! However, I would say that changing other elements of the narrative can give your writing an entirely different feel, turning it into a whole new story that will not feel like a simple retread to a reader.

One thing you can change up is setting. A lot of times kink writers will just plonk characters in the comfort of their own homes, which is valid — but setting hugely influences the atmosphere of a story, so the same Kink Plot will read really differently if it happens, say, at a campground or on a boat. Providing a rich setting can even become a feature of the kink itself. For example, setting your story at a lavish buffet could introduce an element of indulgence that hits you and/or readers differently than a story that involves casual takeout in the living room, even if the rest of the story is similar. Try bold settings! They’re fun!

Another element to vary is context. For example, the basic trope of “stress eating” would play out really differently if a character is about to go on an important mission vs. if they’re recovering from an emotionally difficult day; a story about about a character intentionally stuffing themselves will have a completely different flavor if they’ve been going hungry for awhile vs. they’ve been overeating all week; and so on.


Finally, consider changing up the focus. An easy way to do this is to switch up whether you’re writing from the POV of the stuffed character or a caretaker. You can also focus on different details of the stuffing — for example, lingering on how delicious the food looks and tastes vs. how the character feels as their stomach fills vs. physical details like whether they’re getting bloated or grumbly.

Stage Four — Connect to Character or Plot

The most surefire way to make kink stories distinct is to give the story an additional purpose besides just being kinky. This doesn’t have to be some big, extravagant plot (although it certainly can be) — it can be a simple as writing a kink story the way you usually would, and just finding something within it that you can use to reveal an aspect of your character.

Start with an ordinary kink scenario and try to dive a little deeper. For example:

Say you want to write a story about stress eating. Okay — what is the character stressed about?

Maybe you come up with something relatively simple and generic, like school. Okay, what about this character makes them so likely to be stressed out by school? Are they a perfectionist? Are they facing a lot of pressure from their family? Do they have a goal that requires excellent grades? Have they struggled with this subject in the past?

Let’s say you decide to go with perfectionism. Now, what scenes can you use to show this struggle? And optionally, can you give the character some kind of resolution by the story’s end?

And there you go! Your fic now not only has kink, but also shows how your character reacts in a certain situation.

Character especially is a treasure trove of uniqueness, in my opinion, because well-developed characters react differently to the same scenario. Stories feel more original because even if a reader has read this exact same plot before, they will not have seen how this particular person handles it. So one of the best ways to make fics distinct is to spend time developing your characters!

If the goal is to simply write solid distinct kinky stories, trying to create detailed plot is more work with lower return than investing in your characters, if you ask me. You have to enjoy the process of creating plots itself for it to be worth it. If that’s something you’re interested in, I have a whole load more thoughts about that -- but since this is already incredibly long, I’ll save that for a separate ramble if anyone is specifically interested.

---

I hope something in this huge infodump is helpful to you! Some of it may sound intimidating if you’re just starting out with kink writing, but it’s absolutely all something that can be worked up to. Please feel free to ask any follow-up questions if stuff I’ve written doesn’t make sense. Good luck with your writing, anon, and thanks for giving me an excuse to just go off. ^^’ ♡

[kassies-take]

Angels to Devils

Summary: A possible assassination attempt success.

A/n: My headcanon Supercorp family. With the twins Lucas and Liam, and you the oc Lauren. Sorry in advance

Warning: Blood, Heavy Injuries, ANGST

Supercorp, Kara Danvers x Reader, Lena Luthor x Reader

Word Count: 2136

Lena usually loved waking up to mornings, Kara by her side and the world so still and quiet that nothing can ruin it. The past few days have been rough. It was another reminder that Lena had something someone else couldn’t have. Another day.

Lena’s eyes filled with tears, her stream of tears flowed into her ear and soaked the pillow. Kara wasn’t awake but Lena held onto her like she was a lifeline. Kara stirred and was immediately awoken to hug her wife.

The casts she wore restricted her movements. Kara was careful to not hurt Lena.

“It’s today isn’t it.” Lena nodded as Kara fought her tears.

You didn’t have a normal childhood, anyone with a Luthor and a Super as parents wasn’t normal. Although it wasn’t normal you knew you were loved.

You were every bit like Lena whereas Liam and Lucas were every bit like Kara. It never really bothered you that you didn’t have powers because without their powers you can easily defeat them in hand-to-hand combat.

To say Lena was proud is an understatement, she was on the sidelines raising her fists, and screaming “Go get Em’ baby!” While Lucas, Liam and Kara flushed red.

It was midsummer before your first quarter at M.I.T , you were partaking in Lena’s work days. Paperwork, meetings and your favorite lab times.

“Ren, I need you to raise the levels to 80%.” Lena watched with a tablet in her hands.

“It is actually on full power already.” You smiled.

Lena faced you before moving her head towards her tablet. “Normally I would lecture you on testing protocols but it works!” Lena placed her tablet down and squeezed you in a hug. “We have successfully made a new renewable and efficient energy source.”

“We also very much stole technology from Argo,” you laughed.

“Don’t ruin the moment.” Lena chuckled, moved back and held your head in between her hands. “My little scientist, you will do great things in the future.” Lena kissed your forehead.

“I think I’d have to start with preventing grey hair without dyes.” You joked.

Lena glared. “Okay smarty pants. You can write the report.”

You groaned as Lena smirked. “Do I have to?”

“This is only practice for the future sweetheart. Plus I have to make sure all the Pauls don’t pull out of any mergers.”

“Ugh those skeezebag lawyers, sometimes I wish I had heat vision.” Your hand shook as if you were preventing yourself from choking someone.

“Careful there,” Lena raised an eyebrow “you sound like a Luthor.”

You grabbed the tablet out of your mother’s hands and pulled the stool in front of the computers. “I hate to burst your bubble but I’m a Luthor and a Super, if you have a problem with that the door is behind you.” You replayed with a teasing tone.

“Okay I really have to go deal with Paul now, behave.” Lena sighed.

“C’mon mama I’m not Lucas.” You began to type several results into the computer.

“Good thing your brother didn’t hear that.” Lena hugged you before heading towards the door. “I’ll see you later. Love you.”

“Love you too mama, more than I love Jeju.” Lena’s heart melted. That was something she was going to brag to Kara about.

Lena sat in the conference room, calm and collected when she really wanted to rip her hair out. She could tell that the other females in the room were feeling the same. The CEO was glad that Sam spoke up about wasting time and had ended the meeting with the final merge successful. 

Sam and Lena walked out of the conference room towards the elevator. When the door dinged opened they were met with a smile and an armful of Lena’s things.

“Hi baby, did you finish the report?” Lena hugged you and grabbed her purse. 

“I got bored,” You shrugged “And Aunt Sam said you were close to ripping out hair that wasn’t grey.” 

“So you texted my daughter?” Lena raised her eyebrows at Sam. 

“For someone who is a genius you’re missing out on the fact that your daughter just said I contacted her.” 

“She texted the Spoiled group chat.” Lena gave a questioning glance at the group name. 

“The group chat with Aunt Sam and the rest of the Superfriend’s Legacies.” 

“I’m the cool Aunt,” Sam smirked. “But now go have fun with the rest of your day off, promise you’ll tell great stories?” Sam hugged you. “And keep your mom away from work, this was really meant to be her day off.” 

“Of course! Bye Aunt Sam!” You waved as she left the elevator. “Do I get to drive home?” 

“Absolutely not!”

“So I get to help in the lab, but I can’t drive home.” You reasoned as you both walked to the underground garage. “I get to pick the music then?” 

You raced towards the passenger seat. You closed the door behind you and locked it immediately. Lena pulled on the door handle and pressed on the keys to unlock the car. You once again locked the car which earned the famous Luthor eyebrow raise.

Lena entered the car as you laughed at her. You knew she wouldn’t be able to keep the silent treatment for much longer.

“I’m sorry, it’s fun to mess with you and Jeju. I’ll make it up to you by playing your old music.” You said as you placed your phone on a magnetic Bluetooth connector and played an *NSYNC song.

“*NSYNC is not old!” Lena drove out of the underground packing.

“Mama, you’re 51. NSYNC is 49 years old. Half a century! It’s old.”

“I’m gonna pretend like you didn’t say that!” Lena said as she raised the volume and belted out the lyrics.

It doesn't matter,

'bout the car I drive or the ice around my neck

All that matters,

Is that you recognize that it’s just about respect (oh)

“It’s all about respect mama,” you teased.

“It better be, I’m a Luthor.” You both laughed.

The car came to a stop at the intersection on Main Street and Cordova. Lena drummed on the steering wheel and sung the chorus. You grabbed a water bottle and held it as a mic.

“Do you ever wonder why, this music gets you high?” The two sang.

The car jolted forward with a loud crash. You groaned at the burn at your neck. A sharp hiss rendered quiet with screeching tires and a horn.

A huge blow hit the car. Suddenly the car tilted towards the ground. An immense weight thrown onto you, with glass sprinkling down. Yours and Lena’s heads whipped side to side as the car flipped several times.

Shallow breaths threatened the immense silence that floated through the street.

~Lena’s POV~

A warm liquid bounced off my cheek. The cold cement acted as my bed. I didn’t have to look to know my left leg and left arm broke. I looked around trying to register what had happened.

My heart threatened to jump out of my chest, as I witnessed my daughter’s soft hand stained red and dangled limply above me. She was suspended above me, a bone or two protruded out of her side. The only thing that stopped her from falling was the seatbelt.

“Lauren baby,” My own voice unrecognizable and unsteady.

I turned to the watch on my left arm, there it sat shattered. I reached towards Lauren’s bloody hand that had her super watch. I flipped open the watch, relieved when her pulse thumped faintly.

A soft thud landed in front of the windshield. I knew it was Kara and J’onn.

“Lena! Lauren!” I heard my wife call.

The car lifted and more of Lauren’s blood flowed onto the seat, compartment and my clothes.

“Wait no no no! The car is applying pressure to one of Lauren’s wounds.”

“I can phase in, apply pressure and get her out. Where are her injuries?”

There was a moment of silence before Kara answered. “Two of her ribs are broken, her right forearm fractured, lower back spinal injury, her other arm is dislocated, broken ankle, t-the seatbelt cut her stomach.”

“I’ll get her to the D.E.O.”

J’onn glowed red and flew through the car. The Martian lifted my daughter like a feather and vanished through the top.

The car flipped up right and I could only groan in response.

“I’ve got you. I’ve got you.” Kara carried me delicately.

~3rd POV~

Supercorp landed on the D.E.O balcony. Kara guided Lena into the MedBay. However they were met with teary eyed Superfriends. Alex had tears pooled in her eyes, Nia sobbed, as J’onn stared into space. Brainy was left to share the bad news.

“You may want to sit down for this.” Brainy waited for Kara and Lena. “Lauren’s injures were very...severe, she also had internal injuries. She didn’t make it.”

Lena froze, she pushed off the bed. “No, no she can’t, she can’t be dead! Where is she?” She stepped with her broken leg and collapsed into Kara’s arm.

“Mrs. Luthor-Danvers we need to tend to your wound.” Dr. Hamilton said from the door.

“You will not! Not until I see my daughter!”

“Bring her a wheelchair,” Alex ordered.

In the D.E.O morgue, a few morticians cleaned Lauren’s body. Two stitched up her body as one cleaned the blood off the youngest Luthor-Danvers’ skin.

“Give Lena and Supergirl space.” The three morticians stepped out of the room.

Lena was wheeled onto one side and Kara stood on the other. Lauren was still warm. Kara held onto her daughter’s hand. She didn’t realize how deafening it was to not hear your heart.

The two parents sobbed. Lena caressed her daughter’s cheek. “I am, I am so sorry baby. You... you had so much more to look forward to. Jeju and I will always love you. Always.” Lena whispered and kissed your forehead. “Always.” Tears rolled down Lena’s cheeks.

Dr. Hamilton rolled Lena into the operating room.

“Little one,” Kara sobbed. She remained there until Lucas and Liam walked through the doors.

The twins were off on a college baseball retreat, and wore their red sun braclets. They received a call from Alex and had to realistically take a 2 hour plane ride back.

“Jeju,” The two boys whispered and hugged Kara. “Is mom okay?”

“She’s okay.”

“Kara, Lena is in recovery.” Alex said from the door. Kara nodded and headed back towards the MedBay.

“Lauren,” Liam whispered. “How I wish you were just sleeping.”

“I love you, Ren. Thank you for pushing me to the best I could be. Wouldn’t have been able to be Lucas Luthor-Danvers without you.” Lucas cried.

“Don’t worry about us okay, we will be okay.” Liam wiped his tears away.

Everyone of Kara’s friends and family sat on top of a hill that looked over National City. The Legends, Team Flash, Team Arrow, The Bat Family, Lucy Lane, Kal-El’s family, Sam and Ruby, Superfriends and your cousins were there.

Eliza flew in from Midvale a couple of days ago, Alura landed on Earth an hour ago and even Lillian was there in honor of her granddaughter.

Lillian was furious that your death was cause by an assassination attempt on Lena. She had pulled up security cameras and tracked the man who purposefully hit Lena’s car.

Lauren laid in a red pod and floated next to her designated tree. Everyone was given a chance to say something about you.

Kara talked about hearing your first heartbeat, Lena on helping her in the labs. Liam about how you were able to keep him and Lucas out of trouble. Lucas focused on the last midnight talk the two of you shared. Alex shared how you were a fighter.

J’onn shared your last thoughts, he shifted into your form. “I’m scared to leave this world not because I am afraid of death but because I’m scared of leaving everyone I love behind. I don’t regret anything because of everyone I had in my life.” Other cute moments were shared before Kara started The Prayer for the Dead.

She moved her hand over the pod. The House of El symbol glowed and the glass of the pod became transparent. Kara took a deep and shaky breath.

“You have been the sun of our lives. Our prayers will be the sun that lights your journey home.” Kara released another shaky breath and looked towards the horizon. “We will remember you in every dawn and await the night we join you in the sky.” Kara’s eye glistened. “Rao’s will be done.” She finished in Kryptonian.

Alura pushed the pod and it slowly flew higher and further into the horizon. Lena pinned a sign on a tree that read:

Lauren Luthor-Danvers

2027 - 2044

[mjsparkour]

Okay, I asked you a while back for some fic recs and I am in need of more. Have you read any Gina x Ricky lately? Would love for you to share the ones you've loved

Hey!

I’m so glad you liked my rec the last time, there have been alot of fics that have been written since you last asked so this list was super hard to limit. There are alot in this list alone (17 overall I think). I could always recommend more, Rina writers are just so talented. So here's a list of some of my favorites <3

The Story of Us by peculiarblue

‘gina learns that sometimes things have to fall apart so that they can fall back together, right where they were always meant to be’ This is a complete 2 part chapter fic

Thee Rina bible. It’s everything we could ever want and need. Everything we want s2 to be and more. It’s an absolute masterpiece in every way. So many parts where I nearly died, the angst in the fight scene, the tension before they made up (the dress scene that reminded me so much of that amylaurie scene I lost my mind a little more), them being absolutely gone for each other!!! it’s just perfect in every way.

When Your With Me and Were Alone by orphan account

‘Ricky Bowen remembers everything.’ This is a one-shot three-part completed series.

My favorite series, it’s gotta be. It’s the first of its kind for rina fics. Lore does an incredible job of realistically writing rina’s characterization and reactions to Gina moving and what would happen after. A wonderfully talented writer, utilizing the power of her words while minimalist carries an effect. 

You Know Me Better by This_is_Riri

‘Gina was moving. This would be her sixth move in seven years. She was used to it by now...only this time, it felt different. Post episode 7.’ This is an incomplete multichapter fic.

This one really gets you at your gut. Heart-wrenching for both characters but mainly gina. The vents that happen to both characters, it just makes sense that so much more than their vunerabilities bonds them together. Perfect execution of the mutual understanding trope. 

and I know I’ve kissed you before by ptrprkrs

‘but I didn’t do it right / can i try again, try again, try again? or: 5 times ricky kisses gina + 1 time she kisses back’ This is a complete one-shot.

I love a good five times plus one fic. This one is heartwarming, cheeky and cute. It gives a healthy balance of the inevitable anguish that comes with pining (and not just for the character but for frustrated readers that just wanna put these kids together already) but also the sweet innocence and fluff from first love (or first love adjacent). 

what love might have done by rradioh

‘Ricky follows his gut. Everything changes. Some things stay the same.’ This is a completed one shot.

A good look into what could've been for season one. Reflecting moments that felt like they could’ve easily been placed in the show and showed the subtly of the growth of rinas relationship. It wasn’t something that was thrown into our faces but came gradually and this fic facilitates that growth with key moments that add to that. A Great one-shot.

And the 7th Thing I Hate The Most That You Do (You Make Me Love You) by iknowpIaces

‘It doesn’t help that he really does look good in his costume. God, she hates him. She hates him. She hates him. Then, he has the nerve to smile at her. And Gina hates how that smile alone sends her over the moon.’ This is a completed one shot.

SOOOO GOOD. No one understands, I love the trope where one person has a crush on the other and it's unrequited (or it seems that way) but eventually it's apparent that they're also just as gone for that person as soon as they start moving on, or feeling fine with having their feelings not reciprocated. Then they're both just mutual pining messes, ugh I love it. This fic handles the trope with care and rina just comes together organically. 

lesson in love by finelineholland

“Give me 4 weeks. I’ll help you out. Like… a crash course, if you will. 'How to be the perfect boyfriend for Nini Salazar-Roberts': A class taught by yours truly.” This is an incomplete multichapter fic.

A rom-com in the form of a fic. It’s so true to Ricky and Gina as characters and their dynamic. The writing is really good and gives so much in terms of plot. I really hope it updates soon because I love a good makeover/transformation fic, it gives she’s all that and geek charming in the best ways.  

take me to the feeling by peculiarblue

‘gina meets a stranger at a party she doesn't want to be at, and let's herself fall in love for the night, wherever it takes them’ This is a completed one shot.

Katie does it again. Another classic that makes us fall for rina while they fall for each other under the stars. You can’t help but feel something for them right off the bat because theirs something about the cheekiness of the dynamic and so real. You can’t help but fall for them, a must read.

The Last Time by mytearsricochet

‘this is the one where gina meets ricky and nothing is against them. except for a few misunderstandings, forgotten birthdays, wrong people, and missed opportunities. because as much as love doesn’t care about time, this is the one where time cares about love. and with time, everything falls into place.’ This is a completed one shot.

SO UNBELIAVBLEY UNDERRATED. This fic is too excellent, it's everything rinas could want. it’s an incredibly well done long slowburn that makes you strap in for the ride. With all those teasing moments where they're mutually pining and they're just on the precipice of finding out their feelings for one another only to hold back and stay friends (until the end of course). The end makes you work for it, but so worth it when you get to it. 

10 Days in “Love” by kindredspiritsxo 

‘It was almost the end of high school and nobody had it figured out. Especially Ricky Bowen. His parents had recently divorced, he had no idea what he's doing for college, his longtime girlfriend dumped him the month before and now he's been replaced by one of the most popular guys in school.

To make matters worse, he leaves for Europe in two days for his senior trip. The same senior trip that said ex-girlfriend and her new boyfriend were going on. So, Ricky did what any desperate teenage boy would do to try and get his girlfriend back: he devised a plan. A plan that included the help of Gina Porter and playing pretend for 10 days.’ This is an incomplete multichapter fic.

I love a good traveling fic. Sometimes all it takes to get a character to wake up about things going on in their lives or feelings for character b is a good change of scenery. This fic does a great job of utilizing the enviornment to facilitate rinas love story through one of my favorite tropes, the fake dating trope. There's some angst along the way because nothing can ever come easy but it's not without its reward. It gives me major spiderman far from home vibes just solely because of petermjs adorableness and how that energy kinda translates to rina in this fic more so in the beginning before they have this repertoire. 

on the line by peculiarblue

‘with everything in her life finally at a stand still for once the last thing gina needs is one curly haired skater to come in and give her a reason to change again

(or, gina lets ricky back into her life the only way she knows how, at a distance, through daily voicemails, until her heart remembers why she can't love him anymore.)’ This is a completed one shot.

It hurts in the best way possible! that is the best way to describe this fic. Were taken on a journey where I personally wanted rina to just talk to each other in person but the magic was all in the voicemails and the power of their connection. There was a satisfying ending, I couldn't ask for more. If you haven’t read literally everything written by Katie go read it, it won't disappoint.

but everywhere just brings me back to you by ptrprkrs

‘or, ricky is just a little in love with the voice of the girl at the starbucks drive-thru’ This is a completed one shot.

An amazing fic that hits every spot effortlessly, even the ones you didn’t know you had. Like Ricky being a lovesick puppy going to a drive-thru just to hear Gina’s voice for coffee, he doesn’t drink or like. All the while they’d been connected all along. I’m a sucker for any kind of soulmate implications or stories where people are unknowingly connected like that so this ones a real favorite for me. It’s sweet, lighthearted and funny and a great read.

About Love by goldenthread

‘a series of Interconnected one shots and canonical aus for Ricky and Gina <3.’ This is an incomplete multichapter fic.

Here's where I enter some shameless self-promo...I wrote this recently. It’s just some loosely connected one-shots I have of rina based on canon. I write about an alternate first meeting, what would've happened if Gina had to understudy Nini in a rehearsal and (for a future chapter) a babysitting au (for what happened when Gina actually told Ricky the truth, she was babysitting her neighbor's kid when she talked to him at the skatepark). Check it out if it sounds like your thing!

in your eyes by finelineholland

‘you always try to hide the pain, you always know just what to say. i always look the other way. i'm blind, i'm blind. in you eyes, you lie, but i don't let it define you.’ This is an incomplete multichapter fic.

There is something about Rina being written about from an outside perspective that is just so excellent. The story starting with Nini noting the obvious chemistry and their connection and being threatened by it, I don’t know it's just so pleasing to me. Another fic like that one of my favorites (one that I’m pretty sure I’ve suggested in my other rec list), pretend i don’t see it in your eyes by spobylol. Another absolutely excellent read that does not miss once. This story in contrast also writes from rina’s perspective as well which I also thought was well done. 

right from the start I knew by anonymous

‘“Uh.” Ricky really didn’t think this far ahead. To be fair, it’s not like he’s ever thought ahead about anything ever in his life, so this is really to be expected. “We - forget about it? Maybe. Or like - I don’t know. I think I have to figure out how to be like - a person right now. By myself.”

“Same.” Gina says absently. “I’ve spent what feels like my whole life thinking about what other people think of me. It’d be nice to - to be able to try looking beyond that for a change.”

Post-Season 1. Ricky and Nini break up, but that doesn't mean things work out right away.’ This is a completed one shot.

The most iconic love confession I’ve read in a rina fic to date. it’s just so good, a certified rush every single time. The mutual pining hits spectacularly especially when you see just how soon it starts to hit Ricky that he’d made a mistake getting with Nini and him paying for that mistake. The writing only amplifies it. Also Ricky telling Gina he’s obsessed with her? yeah, I automatically added this fic to my list of faves.

If they only knew by goldenthread

‘Ricky Bowen never really bought into the whole soulmate thing (except he did) but life got in the way and now he's sort of pretending to date new (totally not intimidating) girl Gina Porter to win back the one and only Nini Salazar Roberts. Not a single thing could go wrong.

or

The one where Ricky and Gina aren't so good at the whole soulmate thing and they fake date.’ This is an incomplete multichapter fic.

More shameless self promo, sorry y’all but I’m super proud of this one. It’s a soulmate and fake dating au, combining two of my fave tropes into one to make this (surprisingly) long fic. It’s a whirlwind of emotions and a lot of moving parts in the story. I plan on updating within two months then after that there's three more chapters until its finished :) hope y’all enjoy it if you decide to give it a read!

you are the best thing & the worst thing (that’s happened to me this whole year) by tophsgf

‘Gina's roommate Nini is unbearable. What's more unbearable, however? Her very charismatic and totally off-limits sort-of boyfriend.’ This is a completed one shot. 

An amazing fic, I need more people to know about it! I really like fics where the development between Ricky and Gina is gradual, which seems to be the case for a lot of fics but for this one in particular I like its execution. Obviously, at first, he’s with Nini so it’s like the dynamic is at a point of comparison from the start but we quickly learn that thanks to good ole mutual understanding and overall compatibility Ricky and Gina are just right for each other. A fun read that hits all the bases.

[fangirlovestuff]

The Heart Wants What it Wants - Chris Evans x reader pt.1

a/n- Hey lovely people! i’ve actually been working on this one for a while now, hope you enjoy! summary is half taken from a pinterest post lol <3

Summary: Honest feelings and bad timing make the most painful combination. You meet Chris in a party and you hit it off, but what next?

Warnings: SMUT, age gap, angst, slight underage drinking

You entered the big house, your eyes shifting across the room to see who's there. With another fancy award show night done, all you wanted to do was go back to the hotel, take a shower and go to sleep. Alas, Scarlett convinced you to come to this after party someone she knew was throwing.

Now you were stuck here, in whoever's party, while your friend Scarlett Johansson – which was still a weird thing to say – was mingling about. Scarlett and you had an unlikely friendship, seeing as you were so much younger than her. You met her on set for your first movie ever, Enchanted Storm, in which you played half-sisters, quickly becoming close off screen as well. Now, one year later, you've guest starred on a few tv shows and made another movie, claiming your place as one of the youngest rising stars in Hollywood. You didn't know that many people personally yet, only recognizing them from movie posters. Scarlett always urged you to get to know more people, but you still felt like you didn't fully belong and preferred to mostly keep to yourself in these events. There was one person in particular Scarlett wanted you to meet – Chris Evans.

One day on the set, you were already pretty close and you asked her if it was really true that she and Chris never dated. Personally, you didn't believe it – how can two wonderful and super attractive people spend so much time together and not have feelings for each other, you didn't understand. "We never did," Scarlett smiled, "why? Do you have something in mind?" she raised her eyebrow at you. "Of course not!" you objected a bit too quickly, "I was just asking because of, like, the… the gossip, you know."

But from that day, Scarlett never let go of the idea you had a thing for Chris Evans. A ridiculous idea. He was so much more famous than you, likely not knowing you existed and also older, so being the realist you were, why would you like him, right?

Wrong. Very wrong. You were totally crushing on Chris Evans. But you never admitted it to Scarlett, because you worried she'll try and set you up and he wouldn't want you, or worse – that she'd outright tell you that you didn't stand a chance and it was just a joke.

At every possible chance Scarlett tried to get you two to meet, but you managed to avoid it, time after time. You didn't want to make a fool of yourself in front of your celebrity crush, and no one could blame you, you thought indignantly.

Your eyes continued their journey around the room, and you caught a familiar face from the corner of your eyes. Speak of the devil, you thought as your eyes registered who it was- Chris Evans. You knew it was only a matter of time until Scarlett realized he was here and try to get you to talk to him. And you didn't think you could escape it this time, seeing as you didn’t know anyone else in the party.  

At 19, you weren't allowed to legally drink, but usually no one cared in these places, so you made your way to the makeshift bar, asking for a glass of wine. You needed it if you wanted to survive the night.

As you waited, leaning your elbows on the bar with your back to the room, you felt a person coming to stand next to you. "One beer please," said the deep voice beside you, and you froze, immediately recognizing who it was.

The bartender came back carrying both your glass of wine and his beer. "Thanks," you both said in unison. You finally looked up at Chris and you smiled at each other. "Hi," you said hesitantly.

"Aren't you a little young to be drinking?" he raised his brow at you, smirking. You chuckled, "Only a little."

"Chris," he introduced himself, put out his hand and you shook it. His hand was big and warm in comparison to yours. You could swear you felt a jolt of electricity when your hands touched, but you probably just imagined it. Cool the eff train down, you said to yourself, and introduced yourself warmly to Chris.

"Oh, you did that movie with Scarlett, right? Can’t believe I didn't recognize you!" He chuckled. "You were great!"

"Thanks," you said, your gaze shifting down before you willed yourself to look back up and smile at Chris. "You're Captain America, so I'm sure you already get tons of compliments, but you really are great in these movies."

He scratched the back of his neck. "Thanks," he smiled. "Can’t believe I didn’t meet you yet though," his eyebrows furrowed. He took a seat on a barstool nearby and you joined, sitting on another one beside him.

"So, how are you liking Hollywood so far? You've had some major jobs, didn’t you?" Chris asked, sipping his beer.

"I guess I was in some pretty mainstream shows," you shrugged, genuinely underestimating your fame. "Everyone was very kind, you know?" you said. "Like, I feel like everyone I've worked with has taught me something. And they've been very patient to the newbie, which I'm very thankful about," you smiled fondly. Talking to Chris was surprisingly easy. You avoided meeting him for so long, afraid to become a stuttering mess in front of the movie star, but so far it was going very well.

"Well I'm really glad to hear that. What's that like? I mean, getting such a big break on your first role must've been pretty overwhelming." He smiled sympathetically. "It was," you said, a bit thrown off by the question. No one ever assumes fame has a bad side. Other than famous people, I guess. "Don't get me wrong," you added quickly, "I'm incredibly thankful for the opportunities I've gotten. It's just, this world is so… different than the one I grew up in. Coming from a small town like I do, you know the type, where everyone knows everyone," Chris nodded in understanding, "it's hard to transition to Hollywood. I always joke about how everyone knows everyone here too, just from movie posters." Chris chuckled at that and you swallowed, flustered. "Anyway, everything's just really different here, but a lot of the time it's good different." You smiled, secretly proud of yourself for finishing the sentence without stumbling over your words.

"Yeah, I get that feeling too sometimes. Actually, it’s most of the time. I mean, when my brother Scott first came out here, he was shocked at how many people recognized me. But you get used to it." He smiled, one side of his mouth tilting upwards more than the other. "This one time, a fan came up to Scott and I, and we were…"

Chris and you spent the entire night together, exchanging stories that gradually became more and more personal as Chris drank a little more. You stopped yourself after that one glass of wine, you knew your limits. Except for the stories, the subtext became more and more prominent as the night went on. Looks were held longer, eyes lingered on lips pink tongues darted out to wet, hands swatted playfully when one of you laughed and stayed there for more than they should. Scarlett left at some point, but you didn't even notice. You and Chris seemed to have had this kind of bubble around you, surrounding you with a buzzing warmth. You each enjoyed the other's company, getting wrapped up in conversation to a point where you were feeling comfortable like you knew each other for years.

A small voice in your head whispered that maybe you do. You read somewhere that everything in the universe, humans as well, were essentially created from stardust. Some people were created from the dust of the same star; made to reconnect and shine. You dismissed the thought with an internal scoff at the cheesiness of it, but you couldn't deny something was drawing you to Chris like a moth to a flame, and it wasn't the fact he was famous, it was the fact he was him. But he was a flame nonetheless, you reminded yourself. You could never ever be seen in public with Chris. Even if it's something as innocent as getting coffee, people talk. Undoubtedly some people will say you're dating in secret; people love to invent that type of shit. And that's where the mess starts, because even if you felt so close now, he was so much older than you. That's a reality you couldn't escape – when he was starting to act, you were probably a baby. It didn't feel like that, but you knew that's what people would say, and how devastating the affect on both of your careers would be. He was a flame, and you knew that warmth was only temporary, because you couldn't possibly condemn your career like this. You couldn't do that to yourself or to him. You could have tonight, but that's it.

The night stretched on; the party dwindled. You realized Scarlett was nowhere in sight and cursed under your breath.

"What's wrong?" he asked, his brows furrowed in concern.

"Scarlett left and she was my ride home," you sighed. "Guess I'll just call a cab, I should be going," you smiled.

"Let me split the cab with you," Chris offered. "Where are you staying?"

You told him the name of the hotel and he nodded in recognition. "My hotel's in that direction, let's go." He got up and offered you his hand, which you accepted and got up. You both got your coats and went into the cool night air to wait for the cab.

You were unsure of what to say, but the silence between the two of you was comfortable. It stayed around you, a protective cloud as you both entered the cab, Chris telling the driver the address of your hotel. You make small talk with the driver on your way, but your heart isn't in it. You hated that the night was over so quickly.

You got to your hotel, paying your part to the driver. "I'll see you to the door," Chris says.

"Well I ain't waiting around for you to come back," the driver said. "Alright, good night then," Chris said to the driver and went out of the car with you. "You sure?" you asked. "Yeah, I'll just catch another cab," he shrugged.

You entered the hotel, which was silent at this hour of the night. "If I'm already getting another cab, guess I'll see you to your room then," he moved his hand in an 'after you' motion and you giggled.

At last, you got to your room. "It was great meeting you," Chris started hesitantly. "Yeah, you too," you said softly.

His eyes darted towards your lips, quickly rising back up to find yours. You noticed how painfully close you were standing. Like magnets drawn to each other, you lifted your head and he bent down to meet you halfway, lips touching hesitantly, each of you unsure of how much the other wanted this. You wrapped your hands around his neck and his hands went to your hips, tentatively pulling you closer. You gasped into his mouth as his tongue touched your lips, asking entrance which you granted quickly. The kiss got more and more heated, tongues clashing passionately, hands exploring eagerly. You broke the kiss off to breath, your foreheads touching and your heavy breath mixing with his, your hands resting on his cheeks.  

"Chris, it's not that I don’t want this but…" you whispered, your voice nearly cracking. His eyes met yours and he closed them, eyelashes resting on his cheeks as he sighed. "I know. I just…" He breathed deeply and his gaze met yours once more. He bit his lip. "Can we have this, just for tonight?"

Your thoughts raced a mile a minute while the world around you seemed to stop. You both knew the implications of this, that much was clear. But was letting yourself have that one night was really a good idea?

Your brain might have thought this, but you knew it was in vain. Every fiber of your being wanted him; an army led by your heart.

You took the keycard out of your purse, moving away from Chris and unlocking the door to your room. You turned back to him and returned to his arms.

"Just for tonight," you whispered and smiled, a little sadly.

In a second his lips were back on yours, tongue entering your mouth, tasting hungrily. He led you gently into the room and you reached to lock the door behind you, mouth not leaving his. Your hand slipped under his shirt, feeling his toned, warm torso flexing under your touch. His hands traveled from your back, where they were holding you tightly, to your hips, grabbing your butt through the material of your dress.

Your hands reached his back, scratching slightly as he groaned into your mouth. You pulled off his shirt, admiring the view for about two seconds, before you couldn't bear being away from him. You expressed your admiration with your mouth, kissing along his jaw, his collarbones. His hands reached the hem of your dress, pulling it above your head. You lifted your hands and tossed it aside as his heated gaze settled over your underwear clad form. He started kissing your neck, sucking and biting until he reached the sweet spot behind your ear. "God, you're so beautiful," he whispered huskily, biting your earlobe playfully. You moaned softly, your hands reaching to undo his belt. His lips make their way to your upper breasts where he busies himself sucking a mark. You push his pants down and he steps out of them, pulling you flush against him. He lifts you up and you wrap your legs around him as he carries you to the large bed.

He tosses you on the bed and quickly climbs up above you, your lips meeting once more as he reaches to unclasp your bra, freeing your boobs. His lips wrap around your nipple, flicking it with his tongue while repeating the action with his hand on your other nipple. You gasp and arch your chest into his touch.

"Chris," you moan. He meets, your eyes, eyebrow raised in a cocky silent question. You slam your lips against his, hand tugging at his hair as you move to straddle him, rolling your hips. You feel the length of him, hard, and through the two layers of underwear separating you both, you can feel how big he is. You begin to grind against him and he groans into your kiss.

He shifts you both, and you're once again under him as he cups your pussy through your panties, rubbing a little as your hips lift towards his touch involuntarily. He pulls your underwear off, leaving you completely naked under his gaze. "So pretty," he murmurs as his lips travel on your sensitive thighs. "So wet for me."

He's getting closer to where you want him to be and you buck your hips. He brings his lips to your pussy and chuckles, the sound against your sensitive parts sending a shiver down your spine. He starts sucking on you slowly, lapping up your juices. His lips wrap around your clit and you moan loudly. Your hips dart forward as your hand tangles in his hair, urging him on. He slips his finger inside you and starts moving it in and out of you as his tongue continues to tease your clit. You start quivering under him and he curls his finger, hitting your g-spot as his tongue flicks and sucks on your clit. "Cum for me baby," he hums against your clit, and the words send you over the edge. You tremble as he continues to press his tongue against your clit as waves of pleasure course through your body.

You come down from your high as his lips make their way across your body, leaving open-mouthed kisses as he goes. He kisses you deeply and you can still taste yourself on him, moaning into his mouth. Your hand reaches down inside his boxers, stroking his thick shaft as you pushed the material down with your other hand. He groans into your kiss as you continue to move your hand, grazing his tip gently as you tossed his boxers aside. His fingers trail along your body, reaching down and teasing your entrance. Your hips move against his hand in a silent plea to touch you. His fingers move inside you, his thumb pressing your clit as your hand continues to touch him.

"I need you," you whisper into your kiss. "God," he whispered huskily as his fingers left your clit and he lined himself with your entrance. His eyes met yours, silently asking for permission one more time. You moaned, bucking up your hips and kissing him heatedly. He entered you slowly, giving you time to adjust to his large size. You felt a burning sensation at the stretch he gave you, but it subsided quickly, left you feeling nothing but pleasure as he continued to move himself into you.

He finally bottomed out and you gasp, feeling so full you could burst. "Fuck," he muttered against you as he moved to suck on your neck, leaving a mark on your collarbone. When you felt ready you rocked your hips, needing him to start moving. He set a maddeningly slow pace, driving deeply into you. "Chris," you moaned. "Use your words baby," he answered.

"Faster Chris please, please go faster," you felt yourself throbbing around him as he rammed himself into you, going faster and faster, hitting your g-spot with every deliberate thrust of his hips. You felt a knot of pleasure forming in your stomach, and you were just about ready to unravel at Chris' touch. "I'm- I'm gonna-" you panted, feeling yourself nearing the edge. "Let go for me," Chris whispered in your ear, bringing his hand to stimulate your clit.

You came with a loud moan, your legs, wrapped around his hips were trembling, your pussy was clenching around him. He pulled out of you, his hand reaching to stroke his still hard dick. You came to your senses quickly enough, switching his hand with yours as you kissed him deeply. You sucked a mark onto his chest, picking up your pace. He came with a guttural groan, breath heaving. You kissed him once more before going to get a towel to clean you both up.

That night you both stayed there, wrapped around each other, legs tangled. You drifted off to sleep as you listened to the steady beat of his heart thrumming from his warm chest.

You couldn’t have tomorrow, but you could have tonight.

[hawkland]

Destiel fic recs #3 - the (mostly) longfic edition!

It’s been a while since my last rec post - mostly because I’ve been wallowing in a number of longer fics (50-350k!) so it’s taken me a while to have enough to talk about in one post (and boy do I talk a lot, here!)

With these longer fics, I do sometimes have some caveats with my recs - or at least reasons why they might not appeal to every Dean/Cas reader. But note that if I didn’t overall strongly recommend reading the fic I wouldn’t include it in my recs here at all, so any quibbles I bring up are minor compared to my overall enjoyment of the stories. Just, I don’t want someone to commit to a long read without knowing what they’re getting into and why it might not be their thing.

I’m still not into reading complete setting AUs at this time, but a lot/most of these are canon-divergence AUs, often written/set at the end of a season and giving an alternative take on what happened next. I love those kind of stories, as it’s often so interesting to see how fans thought of what might happen in the next season (especially when it’s better than what we actually got.)

Onto the recs & discussion behind the cut!

The Sinking Ship by UnfortunatelyObsessed (114k). This is a story that ripped my heart to pieces (in a good way!). I stayed up all night to finish reading because I simply couldn’t stop once I started on it and it gave me a massive fic hanger from all my emotions. Season 14 divergence, imagine if Dean did go into the Ma’lak box to trap Michael under the ocean with him forever...and once there, he discovers that Cas has stowed away with him. Because of course Cas would never leave Dean to such a fate on his own.

I loved literally. Every. Damn. Thing. About this fic. Cas telling Dean stories to pass the (endless) time. Their small intimate moments while realizing they can never consummate physically while trapped in the box but finding every other way to express their love. The absolute heartbreak that had me SOBBING when Michael fights for control of Dean and destroys everything they’ve built together and Cas thinks he’s lost Dean forever. Sam & Gabriel & Rowena & Claire & Jack doing everything they can to devise a plan back home to try to save them both while keeping Michael trapped. Also even just the wonderfully sensitive portrayal of aroace Jack still closely bonded with Claire and Maggie and just. And just. This is a story I’ve already re-read just to savor how much I loved it and its portrayal of everyone in TFW 2.0 and their extended family, it just hit my id in all the most incredible ways and I have nothing but absolute love for this one.

Beautiful Chaos by anyrei, mugglerock (141k). Season 9 canon-divergence, in which Dean doesn’t simply abandon Cas to fend for himself post 09x03. Instead he sets Cas up in a kind of squatter’s nest in an abandoned building near the bunker so he can keep tabs on him and help him out. 

This fic definitely gets the award for FILTHIEST, HOTTEST, SMUTTIEST Dean/Cas (and Cas/other) I’ve read in, like, ever, for human!Cas turns out to be a rather insatiable sex fiend/cock slut and Dean is too up his own repressed ass to easily give Cas what he wants/needs. It is dark at times, Cas ends up in some very unsavory/non-con situations, and the authors do mention that they tried to hone in on endverse!Cas’s characterization more than what we saw in Season 9...so you might roll with it, you might not. I adored their original character Jerry the tattoo artist in this, and like I said it was seriously hot (if you are good with total bottom!Cas and Cas with others, I know those are not everyone’s cuppa). I did have a few minor issues. For one, the last chapter felt a bit rushed and hand-wavey, but clearly the authors weren’t fond of the canon conflicts of season 9 & 10 (Abbadon, Mark of Cain) and just wanted to be done with them. Can’t say I really blame them. And I did have to laugh a bit at Lebanon, Kansas apparently having such a bustling gay bar/tattoo artist/etc scene being someone from a butt-fuck nowhere American small town myself. But, SPN was never all that realistic in how Lebanon was shown (and yes I’ve spent too much time roaming around it on Google maps), so if you can suspend some disbelief this is an awesome hot/angsty/occasionally heartbreaking read.

These Forsaken Lands by destielpasta (53k). I came upon this story when looking for fics that dealt in some way with the aftermath of Godstiel. This is a wonderfully atmospheric late Season 9 “fill-in” case fic (post Meta-fiction) where Cas ends up in a small town that had been visited by Godstiel...and while initially residents have reaped much good fortune, there has suddenly been a wave of deaths/bad events and he is determined to find out what happened and set things right. He calls upon Dean for help, but Dean is fighting the Mark of Cain and it’s going to take a lot to get past its control and find a way out for both of them. Together they work on repairing an old church while trying to repair each other and their damaged relationship.

I loved this story for how well written it was, really invoking a gothic small-town/Americana atmosphere. The original characters blend in very well with the case-fic at the center of it, and the author deals really well with Cas at a very fragile point when he’s running on borrowed grace and trying to navigate Dean’s MoC-enhanced anger. It’s Dean/Cas but actually much more of a Cas character study, so I highly recommend it to my fellow/compatriot Cas-girls who love a good wallow in his head.

Mixed Emotions by Tierra469 (50k). Canon 12 “parallel” fic that then goes canon-divergent with the season finale. I actually stumbled on this while in the mood to read some Cas/ or & Mary fic after enjoying their interactions in Season 12 (don’t hate me). This is sort of two fics in one. The first half focuses mostly on filling in the gaps with some critical S12 Cas episodes, especially Cas & Mary’s developing friendship (and one night of something more). But of course Cas’s feelings for Dean (and vice-versa) are always there, and when Cas figures out a way to get his powers fully back, the question is if Dean can open himself up to be vulnerable - and express love - the way Cas needs for this to work.

This was an interesting fic in a lot of ways. I loved the author’s take on angels’ connections to their vessels and grace, it was very consistent in a way the show sometimes/often wasn’t. Cas is very Cas in not understanding privacy and personal boundaries (so he does some questionable things, admittedly, which might squick some readers). The smut is fucking HOT - though I will caution at one point it involves Cas temporarily in a younger (NOT underage) female vessel (and the story does point out Dean’s discomfort with this and some of the consent issues involved, I don’t want to spoil too much). I wanted the Mary plot resolved more than it was, but I still recommend this story strongly for the quality of the writing and unique/well-developed take on angel lore and mechanics that was quite different from what I’m used to reading.

We Are Either Here Or Not Here by petramacneary (54k) A post-season 12 fic that goes on a different tangent to how Cas returns, and what happens in the meantime. Particularly, it offers a different take on what apocalypseverse!Cas would be like—as Mary makes her own way back from that world with AU!Cas as her prisoner.

What I loved about this story: first off, BAMF!Mary is awesome here. Dean is so heartbreaking, not quite knowing what the fuck to do with this different Cas who at times is just a painful reminder of who/what Dean’s lost...but then becomes a chance for Dean to say and express some of the things he always was afraid to in the past. And when (real/our) Cas finally returns, there’s some very interesting stuff that happens with both Cas & AU!Cas and Cas & Dean that I don’t want to spoil. (And let’s also just say that when real!Cas and Dean finally get together it’s AMAZINGLY awesome. Like, hot Impala!sex. So is the artwork that goes with this story.)

You Can Keep Holding On by NorthernSparrow (353k) The longest fic I read this time around and probably the one I have the most mixed feelings about, but a while on I do keep thinking about parts of it so I do rec it with some caveats. This is a canon-divergence after the end of Season 11. Dean & Sam find Cas after he’s been blasted out of the bunker...to the bottom of the Grand Canyon. Mary isn’t in this one except for a brief appearance/visit, which Dean thinks is Amara’s gift to him. Life seems good for a while, they’re enjoying dealing with mundane problems for a change, but then Cas seems to be pulling away from the brothers, spending less and less time with them at the bunker, taking a mundane job at another Gas ‘n Sip, and clearly preoccupied by something else. Or is it someone else? Dean is worried yet finally ready to accept that Cas maybe has a girlfriend, or a boyfried, but then it turns out that is not at all what Cas has going on. It’s something far more serious than that.

Honestly I almost stopped reading when the reveal happened - it’s a subject that’s very sensitive to me from personal/family experience and not something I usually like reading in fic (especially if there is a sad ending.) So I admit I jumped ahead to read how it would end first before committing to finishing it. And I am glad I did, because the author handles the subject matter with a realism and obvious knowledge of experience as well, not how I often see it in fanfic. There are a lot of emotional ups and downs but it’s nice seeing Dean in his momma-hen/mode, and Sam is so so good in this one! I think I enjoyed Sam’s characterization here most of all! And the author has a really cool/well developed angel/wing lore that hit my wing-kink pretty hard. I do think it could have all been edited down a bit - I found myself skimming parts, especially in the last third, just to get on with things. But it’s definitely a story you can disappear into for a good long time and I’ve bookmarked the author’s other works to read later, so again, I do rec it even with a few caveats.

A few shorter fics, too, just because I don’t want to forget about them...

Eleven Erogenous Zones of a Fallen Angel by almaasi (15k) Pure gratuitous wing!kink for me :) Cas uses the last of his grace to manifest his wings...but then is stuck with them in his human form and not even able to use them to fly as he used to. This presents a lot of awkward problems to deal with but also the excuse for Dean to help him keep them clean :) I did say wing kink, right? :D :D I loved how Cas seemed confused about the pleasure signals he got from bathing vs. sex vs. grooming and all of that. It’s sweet and hot and has my favorite kind of caretaking Dean in it.

Fossil Tracks by SegaBarrett  (3k). Dean & Sam & Cas and dinosaurs. How can you go wrong with that? One of the SPN stories from the Id Pro Quo collection I really enjoyed reading (and didn’t write myself, lol).